Episode 1000684198079

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:29 Adam Turn that down, I'm getting a headache. Dr. Drew, adult certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear friend, Seth Green. In tonight, you know Seth from almost everything, and Family Guy, and Austin Powers, and all that stuff, and now from Robot Chicken, on the Adult Swim, which is Cartoon Network, which has really picked up a nice head of steam over the last few years, and especially, I would say like the last six months.

2:07 Drew Oh, is that right?

2:08 Adam Well, you know, it was just the whole, first off, you know, I don't know if it's like, you know, everyone has sort of rediscovered the Family Guy, and then everyone's into like SpongeBob, and all this stuff, like the whole thing has had a renaissance. The Simpsons were around for, you know, 15 years, and everyone was just into The Simpsons, but no one could find any other animated show they were into, and then all of a sudden, everyone's on board, and all these Pixar films going through the roof and everything, it's like, it's back, yes?

2:40 Yeah, it is, and I'm just trying to cash in on the trend.

2:42 Adam Smart. Seth is not only doing voices, but he's directing, he's writing. Did you get that experience? I mean, working on Family Guy, did you see, okay, here's how it's done now? Or did it peak some interest in you?

2:58 Caller No, no, no, because I was more of an actor for hire on that show. That's kind of the way I'm...

3:01 Drew But you see that factory Seth has there.

3:03 Caller Now. Yeah, but it wasn't like that. Adam, you remember the old place on Laurel Canyon?

3:07 Adam Yes, I do.

3:07 Caller It was like a real, it was a much smaller joint, and we got canceled twice. So it wasn't this amazingly successful project like it is now. Like now it's just everybody knows about it, which is great.

3:21 Adam Yeah, there's always celebrities floating through the place and hip people playing ping pong. That's what I would do. You know what I would do if I start a business, I would just hire two hip guys to play ping pong. So it looked like a real progressive place.

3:34 Caller I was there. I was there tonight playing ping pong.

3:37 Adam Yes, there you go. I would hire you. Well, no, I probably couldn't afford your day, right? But I would hire cool people. And meanwhile, I would verbally abuse and lowball all my employees. But every time someone walked in, it's like, hey, those guys.

3:49 Drew It's cool.

3:50 Adam Look at the guy in the flip flops playing ping pong.

3:52 Drew It's fun to work here.

3:53 Adam The same two guys and they're chained to the table and they're getting four dollars.

3:57 Caller Intermittently fed.

3:59 Adam Yeah, intermittently fed. I just come in with a whip and yell Mocchnell and all that stuff. But they should look groovy and they should be that sort of, you know, X gen Xer type guys. And everyone would go, wow, what a cool hip place. Meanwhile, I'm running a sweat sweat shop. Yeah, ping pong table. Write that down, Drew.

4:16 Caller Well, it's funny, you know, you were thinking like, what's your next big plan? I think it's running a sweat shop with a ping pong table.

4:21 Adam Yeah, yeah, but it would be-

4:22 Drew Well, ping pong table is a front, see?

4:23 Caller Right.

4:24 Drew You can do anything behind. You can't be just using slave labor.

4:26 Adam You know, if you had a ping pong table in just about like if Abu Graib had one or if any sweat shop had one, anyone who walked in and meet would go, this checks out, come on, let's go, let's eat lunch. There's no busco in these people. So you'd have a sweat shop. There'd be 1700 Vietnamese kids being worked to the bone for a dollar a day. All you'd have to do is get two of them playing ping pong, right, the front and whoever showed up. When Bono showed up to bust some balls, he'd just be like, I guess everything's under control here. Let's go bother somebody else. That's right.

5:02 Drew Absolutely.

5:03 Adam Yeah, that ping pong table. That's my idea too.

5:06 Seth Green Okay.

5:08 Adam It's always tough when people give you your idea quite easily. This is mine. Don't try it.

5:12 Seth Green Whatever you want to do.

5:13 Adam It's fine. So Robot Chicken, you write it, you direct it. Did you create it?

5:20 Caller Yeah, my friend Matt and I. We co-created it. And then Tom Root and Doug Goldstein, which are our head writers. And I worked with Matt in New York at Wizard Magazine. And that's it. It's like the four of us and Cory and Alex from Shadow Machine, the guys that produce it.

5:36 Adam I wonder.

5:37 Caller It's just us making this show.

5:39 Adam I wonder if it's... And who illustrates it?

5:43 Caller No, no, it's all stop motion. It's all live photographed things. I mean, that's one of the things that I love about it.

5:48 Oh, really? It's not really a cartoon.

5:50 Caller But it's not Gumbi. No, no, it's a cartoon in the purest of sense. It's like...

5:53 Drew Oh, it's cut out.

5:54 Caller No, no, it's not. It's not cut out. It's actual like things we have. I mean, our show is kind of about nostalgia and sketch comedy. And we use a lot of 80s and 90s and familiar products and things that look like toys and you know what I mean? Like the old Migo toys, that style of action figure. And we pose them all and dress them all and do sketches with them.

6:14 Drew Got it.

6:15 Adam Oh, OK. All right.

6:16 Drew Now I'm going to think that they get flushed on the toilet periodically and things like that.

6:21 Caller It's a little it's a little more complex.

6:22 Adam But yeah, come on, Drew.

6:24 Seth Green Yeah.

6:25 Caller All the animation takes place on our in the same place. We have a facility where we have our production offices and our all the animation stages, the the set department, the is it different? Is it difficult? It is. It's a lot of work. I've actually been going for like eight months straight without more than three days off except for Christmas, not to like boohoo about my schedule. But I'm I'm in my office every day at 7 o'clock in the morning and I leave till like 7 or 9.

6:50 Adam All the guys listening, driving forklifts at meatpacking places are.

6:54 Caller Now listen, man, I ain't busting concrete. So, you know, I'm not complaining.

6:58 Adam But I put in the hours. Yeah. And and so so.

7:02 Caller I love coming on here and sounding like a big whiner. I'm making a television show. My life's hard.

7:07 Adam I just liked it when you read your resume as Chris from The Family Guy.

7:12 Caller Did I do that?

7:13 Adam Yeah. Yeah. It's like, oh, Anderson's out of town. I don't know who's over there. But Seth, you did it in Chris's voice. And you started by saying, Seth Green has been working. I sound like Pete Puma.

7:26 Caller You had the intro.

7:27 Adam Yeah.

7:28 Consistent lesions.

7:31 Drew It was a side code.

7:32 Adam Yeah, it was awesome. So Family Guy is coming back. Is it May 1st? I see here.

7:38 Caller I think so. It's in there. It's it's it's the summer.

7:41 Adam Such a such a buzz.

7:43 Drew I was telling Seth, I play his dermatologist.

7:46 Adam Oh, you're playing Chris's dermatologist in an upcoming episode?

7:50 Drew As it takes over his life.

7:51 Caller Yeah, his pimple gains sentience and starts whispering ideas to him.

7:57 Adam Yeah, well, good. I got to say evil monkey out of the closet. Or maybe he's still there.

8:01 Caller He's still there.

8:02 Adam You know, you just wonder, you know, you know, there there are sitcoms that are funny, but they sort of make you smile. But like Family Guy, Simpsons, some of these other shows, will make you laugh out loud.

8:16 Drew Absolutely.

8:17 Adam Oh, Drawn Together, make you laugh out loud.

8:20 Drew Robot Chicken, laugh out loud, robustly.

8:23 Caller You'll actually pee in your own pants. It's kind of embarrassing.

8:26 Adam And you just sort of.

8:27 Drew Pee your own pants, not somebody else's pants.

8:29 Caller Well, you know, you make a habit of peeing other people's pants.

8:31 Adam I just, I just wonder, I just wonder if there's something, I don't know, inherently more creative or easier or interesting. I mean, the jokes they can do on the family guy, you just can't do on a sitcom when the whole thing takes place in the guy's living room.

8:51 Caller Well, the animation is just a great medium to do anything. Some of the sketches that we do, it's so off the wall and you just would not be able to do it on a live action.

9:01 Adam And I think up until recently, they looked at the animation is limiting. But in a way, it's the other way around. Imagine having to write a sitcom where every single episode, 90, I mean, all in the family. It's like, what episode did you tune into that wasn't in his living room? I mean, it was a thrill if you got to go in the kitchen. Oh, no, you didn't get to go upstairs. You got to see him walk upstairs and hear the toilet flush. But I mean, you didn't even get to go up the stairs. Yeah, the toilet. It was exciting if you ever just got to go outside to like the police precinct. There's something like that. I mean, that's limiting. All right. All right. Robot Chicken, everyone, Sunday Night, 1130. Don't Swim Cartoon Network. Let's talk to Eric, who's 19. Eric? Yeah. What's up?

9:58 Yeah, I have a little problem. I'm just wondering about something. Oh, I just want to say that you guys are like the awesomest people ever.

10:07 Drew Adam, virgin.

10:07 Adam Thank you. Yeah. Eric? Yeah. You're 19? Maybe not a virgin. Almost a virgin. You slept with one girl.

10:17 Caller No, I haven't. I want to wait till I'm married.

10:21 Adam Okay. All right. Yeah.

10:22 Drew Squirrely.

10:23 Adam Drew's right. Yeah, when you sound squirrely, it means you're a virgin.

10:26 Caller Okay.

10:27 Adam We talked to 13-year-olds. They're like, Yeah, you're on Loveline.

10:31 Caller Yeah.

10:32 Seth Green What's happening?

10:33 What's going on?

10:34 Caller Hold on.

10:34 Adam I'm going to put out my tip of the wheel.

10:36 Seth Green Yeah. Anyway.

10:38 Adam You hear like crackish slits. And then there's like kids 12. Banging the crap out of 11-year-olds for a year now. I mean, that's what you sound like. And this guy's 19. And sounds like Peter Brady when he sprung a pub. Eric? Okay. So you're keeping your virginity. You're saving it for marriage.

10:59 Caller Yeah.

11:00 Drew And your question?

11:01 Caller Um, I want to know if, uh, if you masturbate too much, like, will you not be able to, like, cum when you're older?

11:09 Drew Yeah.

11:11 Adam You have about a pale full.

11:13 Drew You feverishly use that up too fast.

11:15 Adam Yeah.

11:16 Drew Or you run out.

11:17 Adam Yeah. It's like anything. Like, I pulled my last booger the other night. I ran out of boogers. And, you know, I had an 80-year supply. It was tough. I just, you know, everyone told me, slow down.

11:27 Drew What are you going to do when you drive home now?

11:29 Seth Green What are you going to do? I'm going to go pick my brain out now.

11:33 Adam I'd be like an Egyptian. Use a coat hanger and start pulling my brain out of my nose. No, it's finite. Most people have enough boogers to make it about 80, 85.

11:43 Drew You've been working pretty hard. That's long drive home.

11:45 Adam It's a goddamn freeway system out here.

11:47 Drew That's why you're railing about people going faster.

11:49 Adam I pulled all my boogers out. Now I'm going to be boogerless for the next 40 years. It sucks.

11:54 Caller I think they make shampoos for that.

11:56 Drew Boogerless shampoo?

11:57 Adam Yeah. Hey, Eric. Yeah. So you will run out of semen. I will.

12:03 Drew No, no, no, no, no.

12:05 Adam Yeah.

12:05 Drew I got to rescue him from this. He took it. He took that quite seriously. It's like, oh, man, I must be out. That's it.

12:10 Caller I got kind of scared.

12:12 Drew No, Eric, you cannot run out. And there are no, no. Your body produces this fluid, the prostate stores and the seminal vesicles and just you have to release it. All right.

12:21 Adam But but but poo.

12:23 Drew You run out of poo.

12:24 Caller You can run out of poo.

12:25 Adam Yeah. Well, you're like a toothpaste container. Eventually you just get to the bottom. Right.

12:31 Drew Yeah. There's no new poo made. It's all.

12:33 Caller Yeah.

12:33 Drew It's a lifetime supply of that.

12:34 Adam I like it once in a while when I walk in the bathroom and I see the toothpaste thing has been broken open like what?

12:40 Caller Yeah.

12:40 Adam Like my wife likes you like a raccoon.

12:42 Caller Yeah.

12:42 Adam Like a raccoon. I'm like, you don't get a buck twenty eight.

12:46 Seth Green We got a terror.

12:47 Adam What do you want me to do? I just brush when I spit in your mouth.

12:49 Seth Green I've never seen that.

12:50 Adam Yeah. I've seen it. Maybe it was a roommate who did it. It's like it would tore open and rubbing it. Yeah.

12:56 Drew That is lazy.

12:57 Adam I like to think that. Yeah. Michelle's done that.

12:59 Caller I like to think that you really don't want to go to the store.

13:01 Adam Yeah. I think that's more out of desperation than is out of frugality.

13:05 Drew Oh, yeah. It's like you mean to do it for the eight weeks that you've been running out. You don't get around to it.

13:09 Adam Let me. This is a good. Let me give everyone a tip. It's been a while since I've imparted a tip. But here's what I. Here's what you don't want. Like we all can't have five cars and five baseball mitts and five mopeds. But what you can have is five tubes of toothpaste, five nail clippers, five rolls of duct tape, five everything. Just go get five of everything under five bucks and start spreading it around. Throw the clippers in your car, throw the toothpaste in your car, put one upstairs, put one downstairs. Go out, nail clippers, 99 cents. You'll spend an hour looking for them in your house. Go get ten of them. Just spread them around.

13:50 Drew That's the best thing about those giant store, the warehouse store, is that's the stuff you buy, the bathroom stuff.

13:57 Adam Just go walk down the bathroom aisle. Just go to the thrifties or save-ons. Just go walk and just start throwing it. I know you got the deodorant.

14:05 Drew More.

14:05 Adam Why take the one out of the medicine cabinet, put it in the travel bag when you travel and then take it out and put it back. Just go get ten of them. It's cheap. I'm literally a millionaire, but this has nothing to do with money.

14:16 Drew I adhere to that philosophy. The problem is if you're obsessive compulsive, what's the steady state number? When do you start going to the store?

14:25 Adam Oh no, you never really have to go to the store. See, now it's on your terms. Whenever you're around, go grab some clippers.

14:32 Drew Got it. Smart.

14:34 Adam Oh, yeah.

14:35 Drew I can clear away my anxiety medicine now.

14:37 Adam I have 15 clippers and just start spreading them around. Never want to look for them.

14:42 Drew Flashlights that way too.

14:43 Adam Tweezers, flashlights, batteries, all that. Just go get it. Every time, just go get it.

14:48 Drew Yep, you're right. Well said.

14:49 Adam Seth, what do you think?

14:50 Caller I think that sounds like a great idea.

14:52 Adam Thank you.

14:53 Caller I want to get like a double wide shopping cart just to house all this stuff.

14:56 Drew You work too hard though. You won't have time for this.

14:58 Caller That's true. I'll hire someone to purchase me a storage. Ping pong balls, like multiple items.

15:03 Drew All right, so Eric, there is a sort of an optimal zone for this. If you masturbate too little or too much, your testosterone levels can actually fall off and your sperm production will fall off a bit and your sex drive will fall off a bit. But you will still, it's different for different people, but you will still have, you know, you'll still be producing and you'll still have a drive.

15:21 Caller Yeah.

15:22 Drew Okay.

15:23 Adam Yeah. Now, what are you good for a day?

15:26 Caller I'm good for a day, like maybe once. That's it.

15:30 Adam Once a day?

15:31 Caller Once a day, like morning shower.

15:33 Adam Okay. What I would do is I break that in. I do what I'll do is half in the morning, half in the afternoon, half in the evening. So it averages out to one and a half. No, no, it's just one and a half.

15:44 Drew I see. I see.

15:45 Adam It's one and a half. I, you know, yeah, no, no, Drew, you have patients that break medication, break it in half, doesn't he?

15:52 Drew Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right.

15:53 Adam OK, I might start off with a quarter sometimes the night before.

15:58 Drew Quartergasm.

15:58 Adam Before I go to bed, coregasm and then it's a halfgasm. And then it's the trigasm. That's the three quarter. Trigasm sounds like the world's creepiest spaceship. But climb aboard the trigasm.

16:13 Seth Green I'm cool.

16:15 Drew Not for me. No, no, no.

16:16 Caller Thanks. Thank you.

16:17 Adam Can't walk to Neptune.

16:18 Drew No, no, I could try.

16:19 Adam I can try. I can try.

16:20 Drew Yeah, I'll see what I can do. No, thanks. Seriously.

16:22 Seth Green You'll freeze. There's no oxygen out there.

16:26 Adam The atmosphere is pure. It's ammonia.

16:29 Drew I'll take my chances.

16:29 Adam You don't want to get in the trigasm?

16:31 Drew Yeah. No, no, thanks. Seriously.

16:33 Adam You're riding shotgun.

16:34 Drew I'll let you steer. Oh, it's so kind of you, but.

16:36 Seth Green Okay.

16:37 Caller All right.

16:39 Adam Ingrid?

16:40 Yes.

16:40 Adam You're 28?

16:41 Caller Yes. What's up? I am a recovering heroin addict. I've been sober a little like two and a half years.

16:48 Drew Congratulations.

16:50 Caller Thank you. I used for about 10 years, and I wanted to know if there are any long-term effects to the brain in terms of memory functioning that heroin causes.

16:59 Drew No, not heroin. Interestingly, the reason opiates and opioids were such a remarkable advancement in medication is that they took away pain and seemed to have no adverse effect, no damaging effects on the body. And that is in fact the case. Opiates don't hurt anything. They just happen to cause the most profound form of addiction that the human can fall victim to.

17:20 Caller And that would include methadone as well?

17:23 Drew Yeah, it includes methadone. Yeah, that's a different thing. Slightly you're on methadone for a while too. I imagine.

17:29 Adam Ingrid?

17:30 Drew You're not on methadone now though, right? Ingrid? Ingrid? She's there.

17:36 Adam Oh, you have phones growing up. All right, so let's break down the drugs.

17:40 Drew I'll tell you though, the ones that caused the big brain damage is hydrocarbons, so like sniffing glue and pain, that kind of thing. Yeah. Hallucinogens, LSD, ecstasy, mushrooms. Pot, we don't think causes permanent brain damage. It seems to be reversible. Alcohol causes brain damage, but you gotta drink a lot for a long time. And amphetamine is the one we're most concerned about right now because you can use moderate amounts for a few months and get significant brain damage from amphetamine.

18:06 Adam Really?

18:06 Drew Yeah.

18:07 Adam Is that like sleeping pills?

18:09 Drew No, no, no, speed.

18:10 Adam So it's the speed. Oh, amphetamine. Yeah, it's not the down.

18:13 Drew So you don't have to worry about that. Yeah, yeah. You're fine. You're good.

18:16 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I mean, just celebrate and pop one right now.

18:22 Drew But you're a problem with your celebrating or not. So you might as well call it a celebration.

18:25 Adam Well, it's Thursday night.

18:27 Caller I know that's why people on Nyquil and Sabin can really call it with a robot.

18:31 Drew That is another thing. The robot us and these these these are what are called dissociative anesthetics, like robotism, robotripping and PCP probably have some damaging effects too. Ketamine.

18:41 Adam Seth, can you what do you do? Do you little booze every once in a while?

18:45 Caller Every once in a while, yeah.

18:46 Adam But no, no real problem.

18:48 Caller No, no, nothing, nothing since I checked stuff out when I was younger, but kind of did what I wanted to do with it. It's like you can only go so far before it starts to feel just really destructive and kind of like you're not serving any creative purpose.

19:04 Adam Well, creative purpose. It's about unwinding, man, and it's a big FU to the man.

19:09 Caller I'm all about an FU to the man.

19:10 Drew Reality sucks, you got to escape, man.

19:12 Caller That's why I like to walk around with part of myself hanging out in my underwear, in a public place. I find that just really sticking it to authority.

19:19 Drew That's when you pee in your own pants.

19:20 Adam Yeah.

19:21 Caller When you really want to celebrate.

19:23 Adam That's the way you do it.

19:24 Caller For the best of times, pee in your own pants.

19:26 Adam It's true. I couldn't agree more. You want to play a little Germany or Florida?

19:30 Drew Let's do it.

19:31 Seth Green All right.

19:32 Adam Henry?

19:33 Yeah.

19:34 Adam You're 15?

19:35 Caller Yeah.

19:36 Adam All right. You tell us the story and then we tell you Germany or Florida. Go ahead.

19:41 Caller All right. Well, first off, I got to say, there's two shows that I really, really like and it's Loveline and Family Guy. So it's a huge, huge honor for me to talk to you guys.

19:52 Caller We can already determine that you are a smart person.

19:55 Adam Yes, we can.

19:56 Caller Thank you. Thank you very much.

19:57 Drew Now listen, hold on a sec.

19:59 Adam Now Seth says it with his tongue in his cheek, but you show me a guy who likes the Family Guy, likes the Simpsons, perhaps even this show. I'll show you guys got a couple of brain cells to rub together. I mean, do the opposite.

20:13 Drew Yeah. I mean, think about what they like, what the not so smart guys like.

20:17 Adam This guy, he's a sport and is according to Jim Mugg. He got off the ABC website. You want to hang out with him? No? Okay.

20:27 Drew Should we rank sitcoms? Because the summer is so tolerable.

20:30 Adam First off, if you could name four, I would be amazed. And especially, I bet you three of them aren't on the air.

20:38 Drew Do I have to name accurately?

20:40 Adam Well, they have to be on the air.

20:41 Drew No, but I can name four, I bet you, I think.

20:44 Adam Okay.

20:44 Drew But I don't know if I could come up with the title accurately. You know what I mean? I can describe the show.

20:49 Adam Well, just don't use the N word this time. Last time he tried this, he used the N word. I really don't know what sitcom that would be either, and I remember saying to him, you think the N word would be in the title of In A Heat?

21:02 Drew It's got to be sitcom too. Yeah. All right.

21:05 Adam So what do you got? You can't use according to Jim now.

21:07 Drew I can't use according to Jim, see? That's bad. Okay. Everyone loves Raymond.

21:10 Adam All right.

21:11 Drew My wife and kids.

21:12 Adam Oh, that's two.

21:14 Drew The one with the two chicks on Friday night. The one is with the Regis in the morning.

21:20 Caller I'm still reeling from you saying chicks.

21:22 Drew Yeah. What's that called?

21:23 Caller Hope and Faith.

21:24 Drew Hope and Faith.

21:24 Adam He usually calls them dolls. Now hold on.

21:27 Drew I said I couldn't come up with a name. That's how I can describe it.

21:30 Seth Green Yeah. He had to move back home and his mom's run his back.

21:35 Drew If I have to come up with the names, forget it. Okay. Yeah.

21:37 Caller That's just too, Drew.

21:38 Drew No way. No way. Names? Forget it.

21:41 Adam Well, Drew, there's 700 of them.

21:43 Drew I'll try some more.

21:44 Caller Hey, you know that Friends ended, right?

21:46 Drew Yeah, I know that.

21:47 Caller But they spun off of it.

21:48 Adam Yeah.

21:49 Drew Is that still on?

21:50 Adam Oh, Seth is just, you know what Seth just did?

21:53 Drew He sent me up.

21:55 Adam If he was a pitcher, he would have told you that here's what's coming. And you just swung and missed.

22:01 Drew But you know what's scary?

22:03 Adam They spun Friends off. One of the guys.

22:05 Drew I know. I can't think of his name. I've seen the show.

22:10 Adam Well, it's one of the Friends.

22:11 Drew I know.

22:11 Adam Do you know any of the Friends guy's names?

22:14 Drew Probably not.

22:16 Adam Yeah, but you know what? See, everyone gives you crap. Like, if you can't name a continent, everyone thinks you're an idiot, because you can't name Joey from Friends. Everyone, well, that makes you smarter. That's cool. Very convenient, but cool. You know what I mean?

22:31 Drew Yeah.

22:32 Adam But you've seen the show 20 times. You should be able to name Joey.

22:36 Drew I've never actually watched the show. You know what I mean?

22:38 Adam No, I don't know what that means.

22:40 Caller Yeah.

22:41 Adam Quiet. Germany or Florida? Here we go.

22:43 Caller Okay. Authorities were on the fifth day of investigating the case of a pizza delivery man who was killed when explosives strapped to his neck. We're detonated after he robbed the bank. A 46 year old man answered a delivery.

22:58 Adam Hold on. This story is three years old. Right. The guy had like some explosive necklace on or collar on. By the way, if you put it on your neck, it's a necklace. If someone else puts it on, it's a collar.

23:16 Drew Right. Interesting. Oh, a collar on a dog.

23:18 Adam That's heavy. The man puts a collar on.

23:21 Drew Collar is suggest the strength.

23:21 Adam The old lady puts a necklace on.

23:23 Seth Green Yeah.

23:23 Adam Yeah. So remember this story?

23:25 Seth Green Yeah. Yeah.

23:26 Adam He had this explosive.

23:26 Drew I remember. Did he blow up though?

23:28 Adam Yes.

23:29 Seth Green He did blow up. Wow.

23:30 Adam Seth, do you know this story?

23:31 Caller I vaguely remember, but there was also a movie where you were in like a prison camp.

23:35 Adam Yeah.

23:36 Caller All the prisoners had to wear these explosive necklaces.

23:38 Adam And if they passed outside of the perimeter, yeah, there was a few of them that went that way. This was on an island. And I'm going to figure this one out in a second. All right. Go ahead, Henry.

23:50 Caller All right. First of all, Adam, you had a great point there.

23:55 Adam Thank you.

23:57 Drew We can go on then.

23:59 Caller Sorry?

24:00 Caller Go ahead.

24:01 Caller Called to a mysterious address in a remote area and ended up about an hour later at a bank wearing a bomb.

24:07 Adam All right. On the neck.

24:08 Caller It was a royal spot along a main drag that runs south of the city where Granville Road leads to a television transmission tower. According to police, he entered the bank branch on Thursday, afternoon after this afternoon and produced an extensive note demanding money and said he had a bomb. As the bomb ticked, he tried in vain to convince the police who were waiting for the bomb squad to arrive, that he was forced into the crime. He died when the explosives detonated.

24:38 Adam This happened in 1889.

24:41 Drew Yeah.

24:42 Adam This was an old story.

24:44 Drew Yeah.

24:44 Caller Yeah.

24:44 Adam It's a Florida thing. We're going, we're going to Florida.

24:48 Caller Florida?

24:49 Adam Yeah.

24:50 Caller You guys are 100% right.

24:53 Adam Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. It's based on me knowing the story for three years. Now, if you were to call the year from now, maybe I would have forgotten that I know the story because I was about four years old. They never really got to the bottom of this as far as I know. The guy had an explosive device on his neck. First people thought he was crazy. Right. And people thought he was trying to rob the bank, saying that somebody did this to him, which is interesting and probably the first thing you'd think of. But as they started to explore it, it did sort of seem like somebody put this on him. And his head wasn't blown off, but it somehow blew a hole in his neck or something. And he died. And he was like pleading with the... He wasn't that young. I don't know, he's in his 40s or something. But it's like pleading with the police, I didn't do this, help me. And they wouldn't get near him because they thought his head was going to be an explosive device. And so they're like standing back and the thing went off. Look into that, Michelle. Just Google head M-80 and see what you get. But I'd like to find out if they ever got to the bottom of that thing. All right, we gotta take a break. Seth Green is here tonight. You may know him from all the Awesome Powers movies and of course the Family Guy. And now you know him from Robot Chicken. Sunday night on the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.

26:22 Drew 11.30?

26:23 Adam Wow, she found already. 11.30. We gotta take a break. Don't do anything yet. But I want to hear if they got to the bottom of this when we come back. All right, after this.

26:33 Caller 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1 Loveline, Loveline, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

26:39 Caller We'll be right back.

27:00 Adam There, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1 or Seth Green in tonight.

27:08 Drew Woo!

27:08 Adam Robot Chicken, his latest joint. That's what we call, we call it an animated show.

27:13 Drew Joint, joint.

27:13 Adam Joint, yeah. Adult Swim is what it's on, 11.30 Sunday night. New Family Guy coming out on May 1st. I got myself a ticket today.

27:27 Drew Uh-oh, before you, can I give you a couple bits of business?

27:29 Adam Go ahead, Drew.

27:29 Drew Okay, first, Dr. Drew Loveline, listeners, at all next week we'll be giving away iPod Shuffles. At the beginning of each show, you'll be able to get the details and what to listen for to learn how to win, okay? The other thing, one of the bits of business is that, remember Seth, last time you were in here, we were doing a test that drove Adam crazy?

27:45 Caller Yeah.

27:46 Drew I was doing tests on everyone that came in the show, personality profiles, sort of inventories for attachment issues and substance use and narcissism.

27:54 Caller I tested very high in all areas.

27:56 Drew And he did pretty well, actually. But we used as our controls a group at USC for Professor Simmons, Professor Arnold's classes, and we want to thank them for participating in the survey.

28:05 Adam Oh, we do.

28:05 Drew That's it.

28:06 Adam All right. And you remember why that test would piss me off, Drew?

28:10 Drew Because it would distract the guest from your genius.

28:13 Adam Right. Remember how many times we had to talk about the guest being in the test? We finally got it.

28:16 Drew We finally figured it out. Did I?

28:18 Adam About 11, 11 times.

28:20 Drew Oh, no, more than that.

28:20 Adam Drew and I used to get these huge blowouts because Drew would give the guest the test and the test was four pages and the guest would take it during the commercial and then into the show. So the guest would just, the show would start and the guest would just be leaned back away from the mic reading this test and checking off boxes and stuff. So eventually, because this is an actual radio show we do, eventually I said, hey, Drew, we can't have the guest doing the test during the actual show because they just, they fade, fade out and they start working on the test. So as I would say to Drew, Drew, you got to tell him when the, you know, when we come back from commercial, they got to put the test down. So after about the eighth time I yelled at him, he told him, but then every time they would still be working out when we'd come back and I would just sit there and pout. And I would look at Drew and Drew would be like, what? And I'd be like, Drew, the person still taking the test and Drew would go, I did not see that. I didn't see it. And I'd say, but they're two feet away from you and they're holding a pencil and he'd go, what do you want me to say? I didn't see him do it. And I would yell, you didn't want to see it physically. You saw them.

29:25 Caller I'm incredibly focused on the show and my job.

29:27 Adam Yeah. And then he would go, I am telling you, I did not physically see it. And then I would yell, give me the keys to your car because you can't drive home. If you can't goddamn see someone two feet away doing a test and you can't see past the hood of your car.

29:40 Drew Speaking of driving, you got a ticket.

29:41 Adam Oh, all right. I'm fired up. I got a ticket today, driving into work. I remember other work. I was driving into work and I saw a traffic cop, a motorcycle cop had a guy pulled over on Vine in Hollywood. And I thought, sucker. The first thing I thought and the second thing I went through my mind was motorcycle cop pulls you over, you're getting a ticket. No matter what, all those guys do is right. It's a ticket-writing party. That's all they do. If you get pulled over, now you might get pulled over by a cruiser once in a while, and the guy might say, okay, take it easy, I'm going to let you off.

30:19 Drew Why is that?

30:19 Adam Well, because the guys on the bikes just write tickets. So if you get pulled over by someone who just writes tickets, you're just going to get a ticket. So I remember just saying, I don't want this poor son of a bitch got pulled over.

30:32 Drew By the way, when I was hoodwinked into the ticket, two guys on motorcycles.

30:36 Adam You get pulled over by a motorcycle, you get a ticket. So just thinking about this guy, when I looked up into my rear view and I saw the lights flickering, another motorcycle, I thought this is a bad sign because I just made the proclamation in my head, motorcycle cop pulls you over, you get a ticket. But then I thought to myself, what? I wasn't doing anything. I was just driving behind the guy, no intersection, no nothing. And I thought, I wonder what this could be? Because what the hell?

31:02 Drew They pulled over a guy you were driving behind?

31:03 Adam No, they pulled me over.

31:04 Seth Green Oh.

31:05 Adam Pulled me over.

31:05 Seth Green Okay.

31:06 Adam Yeah. And now I passed someone who had just been pulled over.

31:09 Seth Green Right, right, right.

31:09 Adam Okay. But obviously another cop out there on a bike, I don't think it was the same guy because he was writing a ticket. And I thought, well, why is this guy pulling me over? I wasn't even doing anything. I was just sort of stuck in traffic a little bit. And I thought, huh, all right, well, let's hear this. This ought to be good. What were you driving? I was driving a Z car. And no front license plate. That's the thing. Pulling you over for no front license plate.

31:33 Drew You've been telling everyone to take the front license plate off.

31:36 Adam I'm still with that one, by the way. But I understand the sort of fix-it ticket when you're parked in the municipal parking lot and you get the extra box checked on the thing that says you got no pulling people over for no front goddamn license plate.

31:51 Drew How else are you going to get the license plate on? You won't do it otherwise.

31:54 Adam Oh, yeah. They'll give you a fix. They can give you a fix-it ticket when you're parked.

31:58 Drew Oh, oh, oh. Oh, I see.

31:59 Adam Most people who get tickets for no front license plate get it because they're at the meter and or they're in the parking lot and they come up their car and they go, What? I put change in the meter. Why is there a ticket on my car? No front license plate or illegal tent or whatever. I mean, they basically that's just they just after the course. Yeah, they just that's that's the rape continues even after even after death. You ascend to heaven. Yeah, that's it. You park the car and they're still making money off you.

32:28 Drew But pulling people over, it's a waste of time, doesn't it? It's a waste of resource.

32:33 Adam Not only. Oh, interesting.

32:35 Drew Yeah.

32:36 Adam But we don't have enough cops, Drew. We don't we don't have enough cops. We don't have enough cops.

32:41 Drew Did you mention this to the guy when he pulled you over?

32:43 Adam No, I first off, I he the guy seemed to feel guilty because he knew it was a chicken ass, whatever. And I had I didn't even know what he was doing until he handed me the thing.

32:53 Drew He didn't explain to you why.

32:54 Adam I just want to see the license. He want to go take a walk. And then he went back and did his thing. But I just thought, A, this guy's going to die because he's going to get clipped by a car when he's walking around to the driver side of my car, when it's parked on like, Cahuanga and there's traffic whizzing by. He's going to he's going to buy it this way, riding a chicken ass ticket, or I'm going to get broadsided or something. And then I thought, really? This is this is our resources. That's it. Give the taxpayers a sort of harass the taxpayers. That's all we've come up with. That's that's what we've evolved into as a society. Never, never enough guys. ABC News is just dragging the spent uranium right through downtown LA in a cargo container. We don't have enough guys for that. We got plenty of guys for the chicken ass. That we seem to have an unlimited amount of manpower for. The parking enforcement. Yeah. And the chicken ass. You're pulling people over. I'm just going to go get the thing. I'm just going to do. And then, you know, they do this thing where they're like, yeah, it's only $15. Yeah, it's $15.

34:00 Drew And half a day.

34:01 Adam And half a day. As I go see your Marshall buddy down in Van Nuys and get the thing signed off on.

34:07 Drew Did he give you that no big deal thing?

34:08 Adam Yeah, no, it's just $15.

34:09 Drew Oh, that drives me crazy.

34:11 Seth Green Yeah, $15.

34:12 Adam Yeah, if you make a decent living and you can't do it for half a day, it's not $15.

34:19 Drew It's a lot.

34:20 Adam It's a half a day. Yeah. Well, that's the half a day. That's not the part we got to put the plate on and go do the thing.

34:26 Drew And by the way, if you're a sole proprietor where your labor determines, pays the overhead also, you just multiply.

34:33 Adam Now, look, I'm going to have to sell my house. There's no two ways about it. Or, you know, I'm just going to go to Mexico.

34:40 Caller What are you asking for?

34:42 Adam The house? Yeah. I just, just enough to get a couple of cheap metal screws. I need the $15. I need the screws to get the license plate.

34:50 Caller I just need the cool frame with the oscillating lights.

34:53 Adam Yeah, I need the chaser lights, the one that goes around.

34:56 Drew You're going to put this thing on, see the Marshall, and then take it off.

34:59 Adam Absolutely. And I would just like, here's all I would like. I would like society to join me in my outrage. Here's what I want.

35:06 Drew Civil disobedience.

35:07 Adam Yeah, just no. And everyone's like, well, that's wrong. Yeah, it is.

35:13 Drew Bad use of resource.

35:15 Adam Yeah. Rosa Parks. There was a law. Hey, black folks can't ride in the front of the bus. But she said, no, is that wrong? Get in the back? What are you saying? Which is it? It's against the law. Oh, the law's not right. Oh, the law's not right. That's it. Just everybody, let's just step it up.

35:31 Drew Even by the way, the law's not right.

35:32 Seth Green I'm taking the license plate off.

35:34 Drew Don't even take a moral high ground that the law's not right. Just the law's not the one we want.

35:38 Adam Yep. It's the people.

35:39 Drew That's the way we like it.

35:40 Adam Stop with the chicken ass. Here's the thing, cops. Here's cops. Here's what your job is to do. And I know they always hate this. I hate, they must hate when I yell this at them. But your job is to do what we want you to do. Not pursue your chicken ass pursuits. Your job is to do what we tell you to do. We're the society that you're protecting. Don't protect me from my bumper, you a-holes. Protect me from the guys carjacking me, not from the goddamn bumper of my car.

36:09 Caller But what's the law about?

36:11 Adam Why do you need a front license plate so you can get tickets when you drive through the intersections that they put cameras in?

36:18 Drew That's why you need a front license plate.

36:19 Adam That's why you need a front license plate because you don't have a front license plate. You can't get tickets for that.

36:24 Caller It came into effect in 2000 because I have a whole website about it and there's also a lot of websites about petitions trying to go against it.

36:30 Adam Could everybody, here's the utopia I want to live in. I want to live in a utopia where everyone walks out to their car tomorrow morning Why can't they just take a picture of the back of your car? I don't know how it works from a technological standpoint. Well when they take a picture of the back of your car, somehow the way the camera is mounted and the way it works or maybe you're already through the intersection or however it is, they take that picture of the front of your car. I guess they want to identify you.

36:57 Drew Well it gets triggered as you violate the law. As you come into the intersections when it triggers the... Right. It's more simplistic.

37:04 Adam I imagine they'll be working on the back of the car thing too.

37:07 Caller But they've got the box on the corner. You know what I mean? In front of you, it gets you as you go through. Why couldn't they just put it on the box?

37:12 Adam I'm telling you, I've driven through it with no front license plate. I didn't get a ticket in the mail. Kiss my ass, you pussies, by the way. But number two, I would love to live in a society where everyone just went out and took their front license plates off and threw them away and we just went forward. Nobody had one. And there wasn't enough cops to enforce this chicken-ass rule. But it just... I'll be the first to do it. Now I'm the guy who drives through all the left turn arrows, everybody. When that arrow turns red, I don't ignore it. I keep going. Could you please join me in this? Could everyone just drive through those? How about everyone takes off the license? I don't have a car that has a front license plate. Soon as I go down to Van Nuys and appease these $8 an hour tards, it's coming right back off again. I could have a rat's hiney how many goddamn tickets I get. I don't care. It's fine. Let's just do it. Let's just everyone do it. Drew, you have a front license plate? No. Good. Seth?

38:06 Caller I don't have a car.

38:07 Adam Good.

38:08 Caller Really? Yeah.

38:09 Drew That's weird.

38:09 Adam What's up?

38:10 Caller I haven't had a car for like eight months.

38:11 Adam Seth. But you have like a go-cart or something, right? Nothing?

38:15 Caller Nothing right now.

38:16 Seth Green Well, why not?

38:18 Caller I've been working on this show.

38:18 Drew It's a spaceship. It's a spaceship.

38:19 Caller So I haven't needed a ride.

38:20 Drew It's a hovercraft.

38:21 Caller I haven't needed. I haven't had any need for a car. Yeah. Literally I've been in this office for like eight months.

38:27 Adam Playing ping pong.

38:28 Caller No. Seven in the morning till like eight at night. I carpool to work every day, so it's not a big deal.

38:32 Adam But did you sell your car?

38:33 Caller No, my cousin moved to LA and I gave it to him. Wow. And I had planned on buying a new one, but I just got really busy.

38:39 Drew The problem now is that Adam's angry.

38:40 Adam Oh my gosh.

38:41 Drew He's angry A, because you don't have a car, B, because you have a family member that shares things.

38:44 Seth Green Yeah, you gave him a car.

38:46 Adam What kind of car is it I'm gonna get angry at my cousin?

38:48 Caller It was a Honda Civic.

38:50 Adam Huh?

38:50 Drew How many?

38:50 Adam Low mile?

38:51 Drew Don't get too angry.

38:51 Caller What's that?

38:52 Adam Decent car.

38:53 Caller Yeah, it was a really decent car.

38:54 Adam No, now I'm angry because you're one of those actor guys that makes good money and doesn't like cars.

38:59 Seth Green Now I'm angry. Now I'm angry.

39:01 Caller Don't make you even angrier. I bought it in 97 new. Oh, and I just gave it away like eight months ago.

39:08 Adam Now I'm going to get livid in a second when you tell me you don't know if it's a four cylinder V6.

39:13 Caller It was a four cylinder.

39:15 Adam I'm still kind of livid.

39:16 Drew That's good to have a four cylinder. That's weak.

39:20 Seth Green Oh my God.

39:21 Adam You just gave your cousin your car. You don't have a car. You think you're a New York son? Is that what you think you are, son?

39:27 Caller Yeah.

39:28 Adam You think you're going to hop in the subway or crash out one of your faggity friends in Soho? Because that's not going to happen.

39:34 Caller I'm just going to walk, man. I'm just going to walk.

39:35 Seth Green Not in LA.

39:37 Seth Green Where do you think you are?

39:38 Adam Look, all right.

39:39 Caller I'll take the subway.

39:40 Drew What did you do during the floods last week?

39:43 Caller I was at work.

39:46 Adam Did you tell, he's like Omega Man. He's just chained up at work. You tell your cousin he needs to take that front license plate off for the ace man.

39:54 Caller I'm pretty sure he already did.

39:55 Adam Oh, really?

39:56 Caller He was like, this is a bunch of crap.

39:58 Adam Really? Rebel?

39:59 Caller I don't know, but it sounds good, doesn't it? He's the type of guy who would too.

40:03 Adam Well, you know, yeah, he's a rebel because he couldn't afford a car. Guys that can't afford cars, they don't like Johnny Law. That's the whole thing.

40:12 Caller Johnny Law.

40:13 Adam All right. Anyway, I'm just telling Johnny Law to kiss my ass. And here's all I'm saying to Johnny Law. Could you guys please ring an ounce of dignity? I mean, when you go home and you turn on the television and you watch the 80 or so cop based shows, any of them handing out chicken ass tickets? Because that's you. You see, understand, you do the kind of law enforcement that we can't make TV shows about because they're too boring and mundane and embarrassing.

40:40 Caller Can you imagine if NYPD Blue was all about hand out tickets?

40:45 Adam Oh, if it took place out here, it'd be all about jaywalking tickets and no front light. Yeah, it'd be very controversial.

40:50 Drew There is a cartoon.

40:51 Adam Do you realize that tent's a little dark on that rear window, man? Yeah, yeah, that's a violation. And I also see that your tabs have expired on your license plate. You think there's ever been a cop show that's ever addressed that?

41:04 Drew I'm just taking a family guy, if death or the devil shows up again, that's how he should show up.

41:09 Adam How?

41:09 Drew As a cop, give you tattickets.

41:11 Adam You know what I mean? No.

41:12 Drew An evil character.

41:13 Adam No, no, it's a horrible idea.

41:15 Drew Really?

41:16 Adam I'm just saying, if there's cops listening to the show and we know they are, please make a vow. Remember when you signed up to the Academy and you thought you'd be rappelling down buildings and growing Fu Manchus and going into deep undercover? Instead, you're handing out chicken ass tickets for nothing? Don't be that guy. Go Serpico. Don't go Pusico. You understand? All right. Do we take any calls, Drew?

41:43 Drew Let's take one quickly. Just so we can say we did.

41:45 Adam No, we're out of time. You should have never given me that ticket. Seth Green is here tonight. Well, you had to do that big iPod shuffle commercial.

41:53 Drew Yeah, that took at least 12 seconds.

41:55 Adam That's what I'm saying. All right. Take a quick break. Be right back after this. Yeah, everybody.

42:17 Seth Green Get it on. Yeah.

42:20 Adam Gotta get it on. No choice, but to get it on. It's Loveline, Adam. That's Drew, Seth Green. Always a breath of fresh air in studio tonight. Robot Chicken, name of his new show on the Cartoon Network, 11.30 Sunday nights. Little something we like to call adult swim. Yes, Drew, how you doing? Nothing. All right. Can we please take some calls?

42:44 Drew Let's please. Let us please.

42:46 Adam Let me explain something.

42:46 Drew I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting in that last episode.

42:49 Adam Well, you did, you know, you said you did 12 seconds with the iPod Shuffle on airspot. I checked the tape. It was more like 14 or 15.

42:59 Drew You're right. You're right, man. I distorted that badly.

43:02 Adam And let me explain what...

43:03 Drew Eight seconds, they checked the tape.

43:04 Adam Eight seconds?

43:05 Drew Checked it.

43:06 Adam Yeah, well, that's compressed. That's compressed.

43:10 Drew Yeah.

43:10 Adam Yeah. But in a conversational voice, that's more like 11. But here's the point. I don't want to argue. All I want to say is the show is about the callers, okay? And it's about taking calls.

43:23 Drew Okay, here we go. All right? Here's what I want to say, though.

43:26 Adam I want to make sure you understand this so that we can take calls.

43:29 Drew But we're not going to take any calls. We are not going to take calls.

43:32 Adam Oh, we're not.

43:33 Drew We are not.

43:34 Adam Oh, we're not.

43:34 Drew Oh, sir, we are not.

43:35 Adam Oh, we're not? You don't think we are?

43:36 Drew We are not taking calls.

43:37 Adam You think you're the boss of me? I don't think you are. What do you think of this? We're taking a call. Sabrina?

43:42 Yeah.

43:42 Adam How do you like that? Sabrina, you're 18.

43:45 Caller Yes.

43:46 Adam You see, Drew tries to pull that psychology crap on me, but it doesn't work. He tells me, he tries to control me and tell me, we're not taking calls. Well, guess what? We're taking a call. Okay? You don't understand that I know how the human brain works, and I can tell when you're trying to manipulate me. And when you're trying to manipulate me, I see right through you like a cheap wax paper, dude, and you try to manipulate me, and that's when we go take some calls.

44:14 Drew I can say with greatest sincerity, I do not want to hear what this woman has to say.

44:17 Adam Sabrina?

44:18 Caller Yes.

44:19 Seth Green What's your problem?

44:22 Adam How do you like me? Anything else you don't want me to do?

44:26 Caller I don't want you to get to the bottom of this girl's problems.

44:29 Caller Okay.

44:30 Caller You're going to not.

44:31 Adam Willie wants me to not get to the bottom of the problems. We're going to get to the bottom of the problems. Go ahead, Sabrina.

44:37 Caller Um, well, I had a question. Me and my boyfriend, my boyfriend's 19. Um, I was just wondering about having like a one-way open relationship, you know, because, because we settled down so young. Um, like he has a lot of curiosity about what it would be like to be with other women besides me.

44:53 Drew What do you mean settled down so young?

44:55 Caller Um, well, I've been with him since I was 15 and he was about, like, 17.

45:00 Drew This is why these relationships are not supposed to go on.

45:02 Adam Make that 18, by the way.

45:04 Drew Yeah, they don't go on.

45:04 Adam Get to about 17.

45:06 Drew Yes.

45:06 Adam Uh, how old is he now?

45:08 Caller 19.

45:09 Adam How old?

45:10 Caller 19.

45:12 Adam He's 19?

45:13 Caller Yeah, he'll be 18 or 20 in March.

45:16 Adam Oh, okay. And, uh, yeah, first off, it's really weird because it's not like any, like, chicks are all that different. It's just you need to find that out, that there is no real difference by effing a bunch of them.

45:28 Drew But guys have an urge for diversity and they have to grow up and they have to get this out of their system, and women do too to some extent.

45:34 Adam Yeah.

45:35 Drew And you have to find out who you are in relationships, and the way you do that is by having relationships.

45:39 Adam But the part where you get to give somebody the nod to go out and cheat for a while, or it's not cheating if he tells you about it.

45:46 Drew No, no.

45:47 Adam It's fine on paper, but it just never works out.

45:49 Drew Communism is fine on paper.

45:51 Adam Thank you.

45:51 Drew You know what I'm saying?

45:52 Adam Yes. Sabrina?

45:54 Caller Yes.

45:55 Drew You got to wrap it up.

45:56 Adam That's it. You guys are done.

45:58 Caller Okay.

45:59 Adam That's fine. You've been together for three years.

46:01 Drew It's supposed to end.

46:03 Caller It's like, okay, there's this book by this one lady. She had an open relationship with her husband, and she let her husband go out and-

46:12 Drew Sabrina, that is always disastrous. Always, always, always on many levels.

46:17 Caller So basically, it just hurt our relationship and-

46:20 Drew Absolutely.

46:21 Adam Well, and let me tell you about these a-holes that write these books. First off, anyone can- I've written a book for the love of Christ. I can barely spell. Number one. Number two, we've had some of these people in here, these a-holes with their- it's a two-hour orgasm and all this kind of stuff. As soon as you scratch beneath the surface, there's nothing there. So I know to you who's 18, hey, there's a book published on. These are sick, screwed up people, just giving erroneous advice.

46:48 Drew Who can't have intimacy, who don't know what stable relationships are about, who are disturbed. And they're by the way already broken up by now.

46:54 Adam Either break up or stay together, but no fiddle foul.

47:00 Drew There you go. All right.

47:01 Adam Take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

47:04 Caller Here it is. Bottom line, it sucks being single today. Tons of lame people and no decent prospect. Call the Dateline. Call the Dateline.

47:12 Caller 1-877-889-DATE.

47:17 Caller Love Line will be right back.

47:18 Caller So get your problems ready.

47:23 Seth Green This hour brought to you in part by Axe. Experience the Axe Effect.

47:57 Adam On the Adult Swim, 1130 Sunday nights. We were just listening to another cartoon theme song before we came back out of break here. And everyone always remembers the, you know, the Flintstones and the Jetsons and these kinds of things. But Johnny Quest. Johnny Quest, no theme, but big production.

48:19 Drew It's like the Jetsons with the big, the huge band.

48:21 Adam Yeah, but this was weird because it was sort of eclectic. It didn't even really, you know, you know, it didn't have much of a theme to it.

48:30 Drew All of those did, those cartoons did.

48:32 Adam This song is a major score here.

48:36 Seth Green Just sit back and enjoy.

48:41 Adam Big Tom Tom's going. I'm gonna turn it up. It's weird, because it's so all over the place, you never really think about it.

48:49 Caller That's a good part. Those horns, yeah.

48:52 Drew This is where we fell in love with horns.

48:53 Seth Green Here's Adam.

48:54 Seth Green It kicks in. Yeah.

48:57 Adam It's real Bondy. Hot G's standing on the camel.

49:03 Seth Green I don't know if you get away with that.

49:05 Adam Can't get away with that today. Ray Spanning. Keeps going.

49:13 Seth Green Oh yeah.

49:14 Adam Ray Spanning. It's not like, uh, get Maury Schmecklehead.

49:19 Seth Green No, that's right.

49:21 Adam We gotta name one of the doctors. How about Maury Schmecklehead?

49:24 Seth Green No, no, no.

49:26 Adam Uh, Lloyd Goldfarb? No, no, how about Ray Spanning? Yeah.

49:29 Seth Green All right, we're going on Jill.

49:31 Okay, all right.

49:32 Seth Green No one will believe it, but, uh...

49:36 Adam Yeah. Always unclear on Johnny Quest with the two guys. Like there's two good looking dudes are just sort of shacked up in a tent.

49:46 Drew Like one of them can use your imagination. But yeah.

49:50 Adam And you know, see, Johnny Quest was a great cartoon because it must have been done in like the mid sixties, maybe the early sixties. We weren't exactly sure who we hated. Like the well, the Japanese and we'd made up that that's like that's yesterday's news, you know. The whole Cold War thing hasn't really kicked into gear yet. There's a little bit of it, but we're not sure.

50:15 Drew We don't know where the Middle East is.

50:16 Adam Not sure where the Middle East is. There's a little Vietnam going on. Korea was more of a skirmish and it was a war. So what they did was they just covered all their bases, right? So every villain was like kind of part German, part Russian and part Vietnamese.

50:33 Seth Green Like they're just...

50:36 Drew Pink Panther.

50:36 Adam Little Pink Panther. Now the thing is, here's what it is. Make their skin a little bit brown and F up their teeth.

50:42 Drew There you go.

50:42 Adam And give them this weird, yes, Dr. Quash.

50:45 Drew Make them wear something on their head.

50:46 Seth Green Yeah, they got something on their head.

50:47 Adam No one knows what it is.

50:48 Seth Green It's a turban, a comfy, no one knows what it is.

50:50 Caller It's a washman's cap, some kind of beanie.

50:53 Adam Give them an F'd up accent, but it's more affect than accent.

50:57 Seth Green Dr. Quash.

51:00 Adam Yeah, that was all. Because we didn't really know who we were going after.

51:03 Drew The bad guys were, that's right.

51:04 Adam Yeah, see, it's gotta suck when you're making a cartoon in the sort of the in-between years, you know? Like, you're making a cartoon in the early 40s, it's a layup, everyone's a Nazi.

51:14 Drew Easy, right?

51:16 Adam Right, all right. Let's talk to Nick, who's a 19-

51:22 Caller A big Johnny Quest fan?

51:23 Adam Yeah, huge. Nick?

51:26 Caller Yeah?

51:27 Adam Big JQ fan?

51:30 Caller Oh, I'm not that old.

51:32 Drew Oh, how dare you.

51:33 Adam Sorry. Sorry that we're born before you.

51:35 Seth Green I think you mean not that cool.

51:37 Adam Yeah.

51:38 Caller I mean not that cool.

51:39 Caller That's what I'm talking about.

51:40 Caller Sorry, guys. Long time listener, first time caller. Seth Green, you're awesome. I've seen all your movies, man. You're cool.

51:47 Caller Oh, thanks, man.

51:48 Caller And Adam and Drew, you guys are geniuses.

51:50 Adam Thank you.

51:52 Caller Um, love the family guy.

51:55 Adam Let's do a little reenactment there. And Adam and Drew, you guys are geniuses.

52:01 Seth Green Thank you.

52:06 Adam She's like Nick from Family Ties. Yeah. Oh, this is Nick.

52:11 Caller Yeah.

52:12 Adam Yeah. Go ahead, Nick. Nineteen.

52:13 Caller All right.

52:14 Caller Um, you know, I've had this problem since I was about 15 that when I sometimes when I mean most of the time when I fantasize, it's about like cross dressers or transvestites or something like that.

52:27 Drew Yeah.

52:28 Caller And then afterwards, though, you know, I think about what I just did and I think it's disgusting. But yeah, doing it.

52:35 Drew Well, wait, describe again. What is it precisely you do?

52:38 Adam Cross dressers.

52:39 Drew You do cross dressing or you know, you masturbate?

52:41 Adam I don't know if I first off, there's no guy named Nick who masturbates to transvestite.

52:45 Drew Well, hold on. Hold on. What is it you do?

52:49 Caller I fantasize, masturbate. Thinking about thinking about them or internet or whatever.

52:56 Drew You say, so you look them up on the internet and you're seeing female to male, male to female?

53:01 Caller Male to female.

53:02 Drew Male to female. And do you like transsexuals?

53:05 Caller Yeah. All of that. Yeah.

53:07 Drew So you like all that screwed up sexual identity stuff?

53:09 Adam What would you like to be with one?

53:12 Caller Not really. I mean, it just, it gets kind of, it's kind of gross. I mean, after I get done, I'm like, that's disgusting, but I just can't stop.

53:20 Drew You doing that every day now? Yeah. Yeah.

53:22 Caller At least once.

53:24 Adam Yeah. Okay.

53:24 Drew It's amazing the way guys do things at least once a day that they disgust them.

53:28 Adam Yeah.

53:28 Drew It's amazing.

53:29 Adam No, it's, they have an unlimited capacity for that. Whereas women, they do something once, they're disgusted for a hundred years.

53:36 Drew And that's it. Oh, it's like, guys really up every day.

53:40 Adam And even though they're disgusted, right.

53:42 Drew It's crazy.

53:43 Adam So here's the thing. There's two, there's two sort of approaches to sexuality for men. One is what turn, well, obviously, what turns you on is universal. But are you are you into sex or are you into the sort of deviant thing? Like there's a whole part where it's like you're the person's being humiliated or degraded in some way. It's disgusting. It's dirty. It's weird.

54:06 Drew Drew's got zero.

54:07 Adam Drew's zero because he's a man of passion.

54:09 Drew You have any of that in you?

54:10 Caller It's not really of interest to me.

54:12 Adam Zero.

54:13 Drew But I mean in disgusting yourself or being naughty and that kind of stuff.

54:15 Caller No. I think when I was like 17 or 19 and just kind of figuring myself out, I would put myself in situations that were probably, that were very unhealthy, you know, subconsciously, but intentionally. Do you know what I mean? Like create scenarios in which I could do things that were bad for me and then criticize myself for them. But eventually I just got out of that.

54:34 Drew You're going to have to give an example.

54:36 Adam It's going to be good, but don't freak us out.

54:39 Caller You know, dating somebody that I didn't like, somebody that I knew was not good for me.

54:44 Drew But that's a danger thing. People will do sort of as a way of just exploring boundaries, looking at dangerous situations and things.

54:51 Caller Yeah.

54:52 Drew That's different than doing something that you find that sort of disgusts you and you participate in. You go, oh, I'm disgusting, but that that arouses me.

54:58 Caller No, I never really thought of that.

55:00 Drew Wow.

55:00 Adam 21. Seth's got his head screwed on.

55:03 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

55:04 Adam I was going to say, he's got GI. Joe hair tonight, too, by the way. Not GI. Joe, but one of his friends.

55:10 Caller GI.

55:10 Adam Joe, I always have a friend that had hair like Seth. I want to rub it for the night's show.

55:15 Caller Feel free.

55:16 Adam So.

55:16 Caller But that would totally gross me out, Adam. Yeah, even though I would find it incredibly arousing.

55:21 Adam Yeah. Hey, dude. First off, this guy's fagging off with himself, Nick. So I don't know. Like, I don't check out other dudes. I always like the dude who can't comment on other guys. That guy's a guy from Lost. Lead guy's a nice looking guy. I don't know, dude. I can't judge dudes. I couldn't tell the difference between him and James Coco or something. No, dude. I don't know.

55:46 Drew I'm a dude, man.

55:47 Adam I'm a dude. I can't judge dudes. That makes you gay? Nick?

55:52 Caller Yeah.

55:52 Drew All right.

55:53 Adam So you just like that part where you're sort of a dark underbelly sexuality thing, where you just like, it's got to be a little deviant, it's got to be a little dirty?

56:02 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

56:04 Drew Let me ask you this.

56:04 Caller You know, it's, I mean, like, you know, like you were just saying, like, I can judge other guys. It doesn't bother me. I mean...

56:10 Adam Dude, that makes you gay.

56:12 Drew But you know, why doesn't he go into the mudslides and why does he go this way? Did you receive any messages about your sexual identity growing up that were confusing or were you sexually abused?

56:21 Caller Yeah. I thought I was, you know, I thought I could, you know, swing both ways, but, you know, I've never done anything with a guy at all.

56:28 Drew But what was, you know, what set that all up, the swinging both ways?

56:33 Caller You know, I just, somebody suggested that, you know, because, you know, sometimes I'm very, very sensitive about comments, like, I mean, it could be very simple, simple comments and I'd get very upset and I would think about it, that one comment for months, like somebody says, you know, hey, man, you're stupid. I mean, I mean, it would get really, you know, bad.

56:52 Drew Well, all that suggests a real fragile self, a real fragile, emotional life.

56:56 Adam Which says you're stupid, so you want to go and blow a guy?

56:59 Caller No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What I'm saying is like, I got very sensitive and like people would be like, dude, are you gay? You know?

57:07 Adam Oh, okay.

57:07 Caller I was just, cause you know, normal guys, I think can just, yeah, whatever, I don't care.

57:12 Drew So here, Nick, to me, this all means that you grew up in a system, the fact that you don't know what you are or are not, you can't, don't have a real sense of yourself. And when somebody says something about you that's negative, you take that on and it just collapses into shame, suggest that you grew up in a family system which was sort of porous, where you were sort of exploited and treated badly, and nobody really gave you what you needed as a separate person. Is that right?

57:37 Caller Yeah, you know, they, you know, I mean, it's not like I'm going to cry about being abused or anything as I wasn't, but you know, I just, I always just did everything else for everybody else. And I just, you know, I never really got anything in return, never asked for anything.

57:50 Drew It makes perfect sense. It just sounds like you're confused.

57:53 Caller Hi, Nick.

57:53 Drew I don't know where you are.

57:54 Adam Come on, buddy.

57:55 Drew 19, it's time to get a go at it.

57:56 Adam Get a little therapy or something like that.

57:58 Drew Just find something.

57:59 Caller I'm on a Fixer XR right now for a depression kind of thing.

58:04 Drew The effects are, yeah. No, I'm sure you're right. But this, what you need, you're like a couple years away from feeling okay. You need like a project. You need to be a part, you're somebody that could easily fall victim to like a Mooney type thing, to some sort of cult. You gotta be really careful. Have you ever been drawn into that kind of thing?

58:20 Caller Oh, absolutely not, no.

58:22 Drew Okay, don't go near any of that kind of thing. But you need to be a part of, you could be like a great Marine. Nick, yeah. You're part of a team, you build each other up, support one another, and you find yourself in that process.

58:32 Adam Hey Nick, you need to, you know, you need to listen to classical music and start exercising.

58:38 Caller Well, yeah, I body build.

58:40 Drew Ooh, you taking steroids?

58:41 Caller No, no, absolutely not.

58:43 Drew Find a project. Find a project with a group of people that you can do something that you've got to be good at.

58:49 Adam That brings us to an interesting point, which is part of society, you know, large portion of society is, you know, sort of all in the right track, they're college bound or whatever. The other part is sort of unsavable. And then there's this huge section in the middle that could be swayed one direction or the next. You get those people involved with some sort of sport or something, some sort of team, some sort of, you know, they need some guy walking in, waking them up at six in the morning. They don't need time alone. The devil makes work for idle hands. He doesn't need any more computer time and he doesn't need any cult time. He needs he needs he needs a gig that's like a Job Corps kind of thing. All right, we have a question for Seth, by the way. Aaron?

59:31 Caller Hi, Drew, Adam and Seth.

59:33 Adam Hi, you're 22.

59:35 Caller Yeah, today's my birthday, actually. Anyway, I have a question for Seth.

59:40 Caller Seth, I was wondering if your old movie.

59:42 Caller No, I will not make out with you.

59:44 Caller Thank you.

59:45 Caller Thank you.

59:46 Caller All right, maybe just this once.

59:49 Caller Is your movie Airborne ever going to come out on DVD? My family and I love to watch it whenever it's on cable.

59:56 Caller That's so funny. Thank you. Yeah, I was just talking about that with somebody else. You know what? I don't know. I don't know if there's a lot of demand for it to be on DVD. I don't really know how things get to DVD, but thanks for liking it, man.

1:00:09 Caller Yeah, it's awesome.

1:00:10 Adam What year is the airport?

1:00:12 Caller That was 12 years ago.

1:00:14 Caller That was in 92, I think, 91 or 92. Yeah.

1:00:17 Adam And who all is in it?

1:00:19 Caller You know what's so funny? It's me and Jack Black is in it, and a kid named Jacob Vargas who was in traffic.

1:00:25 Adam Yeah, and what's the whole breakdown of it?

1:00:28 Caller It was the story. It was me and this kid, Shane McDermott, and he was a kid from Cincinnati. And no, he was a kid from Los Angeles, so I had to spend months and months in Cincinnati with his dorky cousin because his parents were going away to South Africa or something like that. And I was the dorky cousin. And over the course of staying in this small town, he wooed the town bullies sister and became a hockey and rollerblading champion to all. It's a funny story, but it was really well directed.

1:00:59 Adam Did it have a major release?

1:01:01 Caller Yeah, it came out, but it came out the week that kids went back to school and it had an awful ad campaign where the poster was basically a kid on rollerblades hugging a girl against a blue sky backdrop as if he was like flying on rollerblades. It was a terrible, terrible ad campaign.

1:01:16 Adam Airborne.

1:01:17 Caller Airborne, yeah.

1:01:18 Adam Look that up, Michelle. Yeah, she got it already.

1:01:22 Caller 1993.

1:01:24 Adam Yeah.

1:01:24 Caller I like how all of Team Rollerblade was in it and the champions and like the world champion was in it and did a bunch of crazy stunts.

1:01:31 Adam You know, it's weird. I know we're waxing nostalgic tonight, but, you know, there's so many movies. There's so many. And Drew, when you were a kid, there were 20 movies that had been released prior to the advent of the projector and you being born. Correct. And now, and, you know, four of them were talkies. But the point is, is there's so many movies now. Like, it used to be, if somebody brought up a movie, it'd be like, yep, that was in the theater. I remember when that was in the theater. And then they bring up another movie and it's like, yep, that was the year before that one was in the theater. Now, you know, one-tenth of one percent of all the stuff.

1:02:11 Drew And you have to, was that an indie film? Was that a limited release? Was that everywhere? Is that just on DVD? Is it just on DirectTV? You know what I mean? Right. There's all kinds of releases.

1:02:20 Adam Yeah, it's weird. It just keeps going and going. You know, once in a while, when I get heavy and I get freaky, you know, I just think about the fact that first off, there's nothing that's ever going to happen. That's not really going to be chronicled anymore. I mean, there's no, you know, for Christ's sake, they flew a plane in the World Trade Center and there's plenty of footage of it. You know what I mean? I mean, just think about that. There's a camera somewhere, sometime. There's no president's going to be shot. No bridge is going to collapse. No earth. There's going to be footage of everybody and everyone who comes onto this planet from now on. It's just, there's going to be a dossier.

1:02:56 Caller Yeah, or there'll be a reality program about them.

1:02:59 Adam Yeah, better yet. All right. Drew?

1:03:01 Drew Yeah?

1:03:02 Adam Mm-hmm, all right. So what have we learned? It's heavy.

1:03:06 Drew Our life sucked early on.

1:03:08 Yeah, yeah.

1:03:09 Adam Yeah, I mean, it was exciting just to see you running on like eight millimeter film or something, wasn't it?

1:03:16 Drew Oh, God. We used to have this little thing with slits and you spin it.

1:03:18 Adam You're like a monkey looking in a mirror.

1:03:20 Drew You have a series of pictures in it and you spin it.

1:03:22 Adam Yeah.

1:03:23 Drew My dad, he flipped a flip card.

1:03:24 Adam My dad had a flip book he drew on charcoal.

1:03:26 Drew Sure.

1:03:26 Adam Yeah. Come out, watch me play little league baseball and let's do it with a flip book. Here's, sweetie, this is you striking out. Let's see it again. Jeff?

1:03:38 Hey.

1:03:39 Adam You're 25?

1:03:40 Caller Yeah.

1:03:41 Adam What's up?

1:03:42 Caller I am a compulsive masturbator. I'm 25 years old and I've never ever had any interest in women. And I'm perfectly fine with that because it allows me to concentrate on my career, you know, and things like that.

1:03:54 Adam As a masturbator?

1:03:56 Caller What's that?

1:03:58 Adam What do you do? You work with the elderly?

1:04:00 Caller What do you do? No, I'm a graphic designer.

1:04:03 Seth Green Mm-hmm.

1:04:05 Adam And what do you design? You do any jacket art?

1:04:09 Caller I work for a company that does advertising work.

1:04:12 Adam Good jacket. Nice jacket. Oh, you work for a company. Okay.

1:04:16 Caller I work for a company that does advertising work. We get hired by all kinds of different companies.

1:04:22 Drew All right.

1:04:22 Adam And have you...

1:04:23 Drew The company gets hired by companies.

1:04:25 Adam So have you never had a relationship? Is that what he was alluding to?

1:04:29 Caller I've never even kissed a girl. I don't find it just doesn't appeal to me at all.

1:04:34 Drew What do you masturbate to?

1:04:38 Caller Nothing. I arouse myself. You know, I mean...

1:04:43 Drew Do you ever hear voices?

1:04:45 Caller No, no, no.

1:04:46 Drew Nothing like that?

1:04:47 Caller No, no, no.

1:04:48 Drew Well, it's not normal to not have a relationship with other people. And the kinds of people that do that tend to go in that sort of schizoid direction. That's what I was asking.

1:04:57 Caller I kind of see it as a blessing in some ways because it allows me to focus, you know...

1:05:00 Adam Yeah. No, it'd be awesome. You know, it'd be better if you were dead. You wouldn't have to folk, you wouldn't have to worry about work slowing you down and the eating.

1:05:07 Drew The people that don't have relationships don't not do it because they don't find it pleasurable. They don't have relationships because relationships are a problem. And those people actually, they tend to have relationship with animals and things because they don't see a difference between... I'm just telling you, that's where it can go.

1:05:22 Adam Well, maybe it's like Seth not having a car. He's working a lot.

1:05:28 Drew It can go that direction because the people that have that kind of difficulty experiencing other people don't see a big difference between animals and people. And so, the animal is less hassle. So, they're just like you're, well, it works better than without a relationship. So, check that off my list. Or, hey, relationship with the animal, it's easier. They don't talk back to you. So, let's not do it with a dog. That's fine.

1:05:46 Adam All right, Drew, please. You're doing the animal math here. It's very insulting, the young chef.

1:05:52 Drew No, I'm just saying where it can go and why it's such a sort of BS, you know, bruise to say, well, it's such a convenience for my career. It's like, well, yeah, okay, it is, but there's an issue here.

1:06:02 Caller Because at this point in my life, you know, I'm starting to get older, my friends are getting into more serious relationships, they're getting married, they're having kids, and I'm kind of getting left behind. You know, I don't have anybody, all the people that I've hung out with all my life, they're all starting, you know, these different new lives with their families. So I'm wondering if there's something that I can do, if maybe I have some kind of hormone imbalance, you know, something like that.

1:06:23 Drew No, no.

1:06:24 Adam Well, let's see if we can break this down. First off, maybe does have a little testosterone problem.

1:06:28 Drew Well, I was just thinking, maybe I shouldn't jump so quickly at that. But he has a, how often do you masturbate?

1:06:33 Caller Oh, at least four or five times a day. Who?

1:06:36 Adam All right. That can get in the way of work.

1:06:38 Caller That's not even including right now.

1:06:43 Drew And you don't think about women, you don't think about men.

1:06:46 Adam Hold on. Isn't this a bogus call now?

1:06:49 Seth Green Yeah.

1:06:50 Adam It is?

1:06:50 Seth Green Well, it is beating off now.

1:06:53 Caller No, that was a joke, but this is not a bogus call.

1:06:55 Adam OK. So, Jeff, the part that troubles me about the whole story is the part where when you what do you think about when you're masturbating, you say nothing. That I find troubling. But I mean, with the abundance of porn.

1:07:07 Caller Yeah, but I understand that mentality. I mean, if you look at animals in the zoo that just kind of masturbate themselves, they're not you don't imagine that they're fantasizing about other manatees, you know?

1:07:17 Seth Green I think they're thinking about me.

1:07:19 Adam I'm that narcissistic. I think every animal that beats off is going to make...

1:07:22 Caller But don't you think there's somebody that's said for just like a base, a very just like base physical gratification that's not rooted in any kind of mental...

1:07:29 Drew Yes, there is such a thing, but somebody that does that five times a day without without any registration of it attaching, having association with other people, that's a disconnect.

1:07:39 Adam I don't want to disagree with the guess, but you know manatee can't beat off.

1:07:44 Drew Can't?

1:07:45 Adam Can't. It could possibly bend its back flipper up and get to a junk. Yeah, but it's manatee and walrus.

1:07:54 Caller I saw footage of a walrus. I saw footage of a walrus in the zoo.

1:07:57 Adam Oh, that's right.

1:07:58 Caller Have you ever seen that?

1:07:59 Adam Oh, because they have their huge flippers.

1:08:01 Caller Yeah, but they have the flippers and it was like this enormous extension.

1:08:04 Adam That's the whole thing. The mountain has to come to Mohammed. Yeah, so I think of them as having my penis and trying to mask it.

1:08:10 Caller Oh, forget it. It's not going to work.

1:08:12 Adam They're going to work. I didn't think about the telescoping penis that actually comes up to the flippers.

1:08:17 Caller It's all about that.

1:08:19 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Jeff?

1:08:22 Caller Yeah. Oh, hold on a second.

1:08:24 Seth Green All right.

1:08:25 Caller Oh, Drew.

1:08:28 Seth Green Oh, it just got off.

1:08:30 Caller It is bogus.

1:08:32 Adam But, you know, it was an interesting bogus call because there wasn't that much to it.

1:08:36 Drew It didn't fit. That was the point. You know, he was trying to make an issue and he sounded like somebody who could actually have a conversation. It didn't give you that cold, empty feeling that somebody who actually goes that way makes you feel. Somebody who actually goes towards zoophilia and that stuff, you feel like it's kind of spooky to talk to them.

1:08:50 Adam Yeah. But that was a good bogus call in that it wasn't, I'm effing my mom's friend.

1:08:55 Drew Right. It was excellent.

1:08:57 Adam Yeah. It was good. It was solid because it was just...

1:08:59 Caller Well done, Jeff.

1:09:01 Adam It was just we never get that call. It was just sort of off the beaten path, pardon the pun, enough to make it interesting. Yeah.

1:09:09 Drew Yes, absolutely.

1:09:10 Adam Do you think he really got off thinking about you?

1:09:14 Drew Oh, I'm sure.

1:09:14 Adam He did do the, oh, Drew. I'm kind of mad that you can't come to me. You know what I'm saying?

1:09:19 Drew You're still on hold there, aren't you?

1:09:21 Adam Well, I'm angry.

1:09:22 Seth Green Jeff?

1:09:23 Caller Yeah.

1:09:24 Adam Jeff, why Drew? Why do you shout Drew's name at orgasm?

1:09:28 Caller Drew is a sexy, sexy beast.

1:09:31 Adam I know, but you know how it makes me feel night after night to have guys like, oh, Drew, yeah. And it's like when I'm a chopped liver over here. What's that?

1:09:39 Caller It'll make you feel good, Adam. I called up, my name is really Eric, not Jeff. Jeff, my buddy here. I'm making fun of him. I called up a couple of months ago and I imitated you for about 20 minutes on the air.

1:09:50 I don't know if you remember that.

1:09:52 Adam Yeah, I do. But I probably wasn't 20 minutes, but it was good. Do it again.

1:09:56 Caller Do it again.

1:09:58 Caller All right.

1:09:58 Adam Can you do it again?

1:09:59 Caller Put me on hold for 30 seconds. Let me grab my list of atomisms.

1:10:02 Adam OK, go get that.

1:10:04 Caller This guy's prepared.

1:10:06 Adam Wow.

1:10:07 Caller He's been studying Meisner style.

1:10:09 Adam That's awesome. Listen, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, yes?

1:10:15 Drew If it's good. If you like what you're hearing.

1:10:17 Adam I think it was good because I sort of remember this guy from last time.

1:10:21 Drew Let's see. I remember we had to do a call and he couldn't quite hold it up.

1:10:24 Adam Well, because he has a short list to go off of. But let me just get Jeff back. Maybe he can take a call with us. Jeff?

1:10:32 Caller Yeah, Eric, but okay.

1:10:34 Adam I mean Eric, yes. What's up, Eric? Do you have your list?

1:10:38 Caller I am going through my papers here of atomisms.

1:10:41 Drew Oh, no, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Where do you work?

1:10:45 Caller Why? Are you going to come visit me?

1:10:47 Drew No, because you told us this. You gave us a whole story about that last time. Last time? Or this time? Yeah, whatever.

1:10:53 Adam All right, stop talking to our callers. Go ahead, go ahead, Eric. Do you have any atomisms?

1:11:01 Caller Yeah, okay, you want me to just...

1:11:03 Adam By the way, I'm picturing him like with this, like a three ring binder. Okay, let's see. Stern, Mancow, Mancow, Stern, John and Jeff.

1:11:17 What do we, what do we, what do we got?

1:11:18 Adam Ah, yes, here we go, here we go. Gotta alphabetize these isms. Go ahead, Eric.

1:11:24 Caller Hey there, Dr. Drew. Hold on, let me check the weather. Palo Alto, checking in at 71 degrees. Boy, I tell you, I was sitting at the three way stop today and this old brat is just sitting here and just says, shake your ass, blah, blah, blah. Drew's ass is a radio map. I got four feet and through seven three sixteenth inches. Hold on now. Gee, Thunder Cloud wants to say something. None of it. Touching the water. Hold on, gotta check traffic. 405, three way backed up. Watch the brake lights. Mattress in lane. You know, I used to clean carpet. Lived with my good friend Louise. You know, and I'm literally a millionaire. You know, literally, literally, Drew, literally a millionaire. I should have my own garbage man. You know, blah, blah, blah, blah. You got these Culver City cops in there. Right hand drive chevettes. Right in chicken ass tickets. Blah, blah, blah. Not enough, man.

1:12:02 Drew Chicken ass, strangely enough.

1:12:03 Holocaust.

1:12:05 Caller I got a bunch, a bunch more.

1:12:07 Adam That's solid. But now, I mean, that's, you know, that's, that's a nine plus. Actually, I would go so far as to say uncanny. But here's what, here's what.

1:12:18 Caller You know what? I'll tell you what's uncanny. I have a very hairy ass.

1:12:21 Adam Here's what.

1:12:22 Drew That's uncanny.

1:12:23 Adam I know. Eric, here's what I would like. I would like the straighter, more subdued Adam to handle a call.

1:12:31 Caller Oh goodness. That would be a pleasure.

1:12:33 Adam Do you think you could do that? I don't think you can do that.

1:12:35 Caller I don't think I could do it nearly as well as you, but I will give it my best effort.

1:12:40 Drew So, put Eric, let's do it when we get back from the break.

1:12:42 Adam I don't know if I like Eric enough to actually bring him through a break. Here's the thing about Eric. Eric is, well first off, most guys that do impersonations are A-holes. I don't know what that is. I don't know how those two genes seem to be nurtured together, but Eric is an A-hole. There's no doubt about it, but in a sort of wise ass way. There's A-hole that breaks a beer bottle over you and then there's wise ass A-hole.

1:13:11 Drew Yes, wise and harmer.

1:13:12 Adam Yeah, that's Eric. That's Eric. And these guys are ultimately annoying.

1:13:17 Drew Yes, but not bad.

1:13:18 Adam Not bad guys, just annoying guys. And they don't really realize their level of pain in the assitude, you know what I mean? And they don't realize why they're not getting laid like they should and they don't realize why they're not going ahead in their job like they should. But ultimately a little too annoying to bring back.

1:13:37 Drew Okay, let's do go to break.

1:13:38 Adam I'm going to put, I'll put Eric on home, we'll decide.

1:13:40 Drew All right.

1:13:41 Adam Let's see if I feel a lot benevolent when we return. Seth Green in studio tonight, Robot Chicken, and we'll be right back after this.

1:13:58 Caller Loveline is brought to you by Playboy. Why put Paris Hilton and the 25 Sexiest Stars in the same issue, along with our annual music poll and Debbie Gibson's pictorial? After three months of winter, we figured you could use some thawing out. March Playboy on Newsstands now.

1:14:12 Adam Hey, who's engineering this show? Dave, give the countdown, please. The hey, man. That didn't work. That didn't work. You're mumbling into a can with a piece of yarn on it. Doesn't let me know when the show starts.

1:14:26 Seth Green Hey, man.

1:14:27 Seth Green What is it?

1:14:30 Drew You know what I just heard?

1:14:32 Caller I can't even understand it.

1:14:34 Caller It sounded like you said it was the voice of Gwyneth.

1:14:38 Adam Oh, OK. Westwood One.

1:14:39 Caller That was way off.

1:14:40 Drew What is that song I rapped to? What is that called?

1:14:43 Adam The Isochism, Iso-tism.

1:14:46 Caller Double Dutch Boss?

1:14:47 Drew That's Missy Elliott.

1:14:49 Caller Or the Missy Elliott version.

1:14:51 Adam The Missy Elliott version.

1:14:52 Caller That loop is from Double Dutch Boss.

1:14:54 Drew Yeah. Can you play that, Dave?

1:14:56 Adam Are you kidding? You can barely tell us when the show starts. All right. Seth Green in the studio tonight, Robot Chicken, name of his new show on the Cartoon Network, which is, I don't know, I've not seen any ratings or trends or anything, but it seems like they have really been gaining momentum over the past year.

1:15:18 Caller We debuted 35th of all cable programming. Wow. Which is actually pretty good.

1:15:24 Adam Robot Chicken?

1:15:24 Caller Yeah, we won our time slot. Really? Yeah, it was the highest rated adult swim debut. In our history. Yeah, it was awesome.

1:15:32 Adam Adult swim or maybe cartoon, I mean, adult swim just wasn't on the radar a year ago for a lot of people and now it's appointment fuel.

1:15:41 Drew It's so weird how that works with TV too, you know?

1:15:43 Caller It's this kind of obscure subversive TV, but it happens to a lot of people connect to it. It's just they don't have a tremendous amount of money in advertising to get the word out.

1:15:51 Drew But it's weird how people find stuff.

1:15:54 Seth Green Yeah, they just do.

1:15:55 Caller But it gets passed around between people too. They're like, oh, you should see this. I think it's up your alley.

1:15:59 Adam Space Ghost is, is that on the?

1:16:01 Caller That was one of the first things in that time block.

1:16:03 Adam Space Ghost was an awesome show.

1:16:06 Caller But then literally the whole block of program was literally Turner Broadcasting saying, we've got this late night dumping ground and they gave it to this guy, Mike Lazo, and said, do you guys want to do anything with it? And they just started this whole kind of crazy.

1:16:19 Drew Is Space Ghost still on?

1:16:20 Caller I don't know if it is. I don't know if it is, but I did an episode of it.

1:16:24 Drew We both did, too.

1:16:25 Caller It's fun. It feels silly, but it was weird.

1:16:28 Adam Yeah, the guy who's out of Space Ghost is in Atlanta, as I recall. All right. You ready to go here?

1:16:34 Seth Green Yeah.

1:16:35 Adam All right. So are we done with Eric over here?

1:16:38 Drew Yeah, we're done.

1:16:40 Adam All right, Eric.

1:16:41 Caller Hey, Adam, can I say something before you hang up on my squirrely ass?

1:16:45 Adam All right.

1:16:46 Caller As long as you work the word salve into it.

1:16:48 Drew Squirrely.

1:16:48 Caller Yeah. I've been listening to you guys for over five years. You guys have an uncanny instinct for getting everything just dead on. However, I am very much not an a-hole. I'm doing very well at my job, and I know exactly why I'm not getting laid, and it's because I'm married.

1:17:05 Drew What? What's your job?

1:17:08 Caller My job. Yeah, that's what you were talking about earlier. I work at a print shop.

1:17:13 Caller You're a graphic designer.

1:17:14 Drew Night time at a print shop.

1:17:15 Caller It wasn't a far stretch from the truth, but yeah, I've called you before and we've talked.

1:17:19 Adam All right, Eric.

1:17:21 Caller But I want to take that call, Adam.

1:17:23 Adam All right. Drew, come on. Let's just do it. What do we care? How do we do the two things at once?

1:17:30 Drew Dave's got to handle that for us.

1:17:32 Adam Really?

1:17:33 Drew Line three. All right.

1:17:35 Adam Eric, you're speaking to Kelly, by the way.

1:17:37 Seth Green There we go.

1:17:39 Adam 24. Yeah.

1:17:40 Drew Kelly?

1:17:41 Seth Green What's going on?

1:17:42 Caller You're on Loveline with Seth Green. Which question?

1:17:46 Caller I was wondering, a couple of months ago, I was diagnosed with herpes. I'm pretty much just wondering, at what point do I have to tell a guy about this?

1:18:03 Caller I don't know what's going on.

1:18:04 Caller Diagnosed how long ago?

1:18:06 Caller A couple of months ago.

1:18:08 Caller A couple of months ago. Now, Drew, correct me if I'm wrong, but herpes cannot be cured at all, right? You can pass it on for the rest of your life.

1:18:17 Drew Potentially, yeah.

1:18:19 Caller Well, I think that you have a responsibility to tell anybody that you're with.

1:18:24 Caller Right.

1:18:26 Caller Is it genital herpes or is it on your mouth?

1:18:29 Caller Genital.

1:18:29 Drew But she's saying, at what point in the relationship does she need to bring this up? The first date or when the clothes are off?

1:18:36 Caller Well, I see no point in it really until the relationship gets to the point where you're going to have some, you know, physical intimacy.

1:18:41 Drew Yeah, I agree with the, I would agree with it.

1:18:45 Caller Drew, do you mind? Do you let the man with the cash register make some money here? Come on, buddy.

1:18:51 Adam Am I that obnoxious?

1:18:53 Drew That actually felt kind of nice. It feels kind of kind and gentle.

1:18:56 Caller Before the stately Dr. Drew interrupted me there, hold on for just a second, buddy.

1:18:59 Drew Passionate, not stately.

1:19:02 Caller Passionate, a little bit stately, but you're right, more passionate. There's no point in divulging all these things about yourself. If you're just on the first, second date, whatever, you know, what's that?

1:19:13 Drew Adam, Eric would say, you don't want to freak a guy out.

1:19:16 Caller No, no, no.

1:19:17 Adam That is Adam.

1:19:18 Drew That's what I'm saying.

1:19:20 Caller You don't want to give too much up. You want to leave a little bit to the imagination. That's not a very good thing to leave to the imagination, but there's no point in scaring them off right away. Let me ask you, do you have any kids?

1:19:31 Caller No.

1:19:32 Caller No kids?

1:19:33 Caller No.

1:19:34 Caller All right, excellent. What are you using for for birth control?

1:19:40 Seth Green Hello, Kelly. Kelly's like, talk to counterfeit Adam.

1:19:47 Adam All right, hold on.

1:19:48 Caller Bring the gong on.

1:19:50 Adam I feel sorry for everybody.

1:19:51 Drew All right, put Kelly on now. Put Kelly. All right. Pick Kelly here. Here we go.

1:19:55 Seth Green All right, Kelly.

1:19:56 Drew Oh, God sakes.

1:19:57 Adam I just hung up Kelly. Yeah.

1:19:59 Oh, all right.

1:20:00 Adam You're back, sweetie pea.

1:20:03 Drew Here's the deal.

1:20:04 Adam We think you should sound like that. Like there's a way to Rodney Dangerfield.

1:20:08 Drew Way too nice. Way too nice.

1:20:10 Seth Green Not nearly the edge.

1:20:12 Drew But but and also it's interesting how things don't quite hit the bullseye.

1:20:16 Seth Green Yeah, it's like it's coming.

1:20:18 Adam Better than the alternative than him being quite a bit better than me.

1:20:21 Drew Yeah, that would be bad.

1:20:22 Seth Green That would suck.

1:20:23 Drew That would be suck.

1:20:25 Caller I think you've got job security.

1:20:27 Adam Thank you.

1:20:28 Drew Thank you. So Kelly, this is something obviously you know you can pass on and when you first couple years you get it, the outbreaks tend to be more frequent, there tends to be more virus production, you tend to be more contagious. As you go along, there can be very infrequent outbreaks and you can be less less contagious. Still though, you should continue fastidiously using a condom because it is something you could potentially always pass on. There are ways to reduce the viral shedding or the viral production by taking medication, particularly when you feel an outbreak coming along, but in terms of what the, what, go ahead, go ahead, the thing that kind of really freaks me out though is that I got it when I was using a condom. Yeah, it's not a perfect barrier, you can get it with condoms, you sure can.

1:21:05 Adam Well, you can get it around the condom too, right?

1:21:08 Drew Basically, if you're, if he was having an outbreak with the condom on, you're going to get it. You are, yeah, you can't, nothing really, there's so much virus around when you're having an outbreak.

1:21:16 Adam Yeah, it's, it's, and yeah, go ahead.

1:21:21 Caller I don't know, I just am worried that this is going to freak any guy out pretty much for the rest of my life.

1:21:26 Drew No, it's pretty common, and it's something that a guy, if he's really into you, will kind of figure out how to deal with. And you got to sort of become more proficient with how to manage it yourself to reduce the risk, in terms of treating it when there are outbreaks and realizing what the symptoms are of an outbreak.

1:21:40 Adam All right, well, good times.

1:21:41 Drew Laurel? We would say about the fifth date, third to fifth date.

1:21:44 Adam Well, whenever the intimacy is imminent. Laurel?

1:21:48 Yeah?

1:21:48 Adam You're 16?

1:21:49 Caller Yes.

1:21:50 Adam What's up?

1:21:52 Caller I hate my vagina.

1:21:54 Drew Oh.

1:21:55 Caller I hate it.

1:21:56 Adam All right.

1:21:57 Caller What do you mean?

1:21:58 Drew You know, one of the things I'm going out to San Antonio to do is a vaginoplasty. Oh, really? Yeah. Discovery Health is sending me in on all these, I'm scrubbing in all these surgeries for penis enlargements and vaginal reconstruction and stuff.

1:22:10 Adam Why do you got to go to San Antonio?

1:22:11 Drew Because that's where the guy is that does millions of these. And you've got to see if they found somebody that's willing to just have me scrub in on the procedure.

1:22:19 Caller What do you mean you hate it? What's the matter?

1:22:21 Caller Okay. You know how there's two different kinds of vaginas?

1:22:24 Drew The lips. Two different lips.

1:22:26 Caller Yeah. Okay. There's one which is like a camel toe, you know? And that is like total, like there's no inner labia, you know?

1:22:34 Drew Oh, the inner labia stay inner.

1:22:36 Caller Yeah.

1:22:37 Caller And I have the kind that the inner is like out also. Right. Right. And I am like totally paranoid about it with anyone. And I have a girlfriend that I've been with for like almost three years. I'm 16 and she's 21.

1:22:52 Caller Whoa.

1:22:53 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. Continue.

1:22:56 Seth Green Oh, Laurel.

1:22:57 Caller No, no, she's like, I've been with her for a really long time.

1:23:00 Drew And yeah, but she was 18 and you were 13. That's awful.

1:23:03 Caller No, no, no, no, no. I was 14 and she was 19.

1:23:07 Seth Green Oh, I'm way off.

1:23:08 Drew Way off. I beg your pardon.

1:23:09 Adam See what happens when you judge?

1:23:11 Drew Yes, yes.

1:23:11 Seth Green It's way off.

1:23:13 Drew I just hope you learned a lesson. Yes, I got to slow down.

1:23:16 Caller But it's really good.

1:23:17 Drew No, it's not really good.

1:23:19 Caller But anyway, so she has the normal kind. I mean, I guess it's not normal, but it's the nice kind that I think is normal.

1:23:26 Drew Does she complain about yours?

1:23:27 Caller No, no, she says it's wonderful. And I think that she's just lying and trying to make me feel bad.

1:23:31 Drew No, Laurel, you got some stuff going on here, kiddo. Yeah.

1:23:34 Adam Well, first off, if I had an ugly vagina, I would treat it no differently than, you know, the guys who have bad chins so they grow a beard? I would just go right back to the 70s Bush. I would immediately go away from the Brazilian.

1:23:49 Drew Head for raccoonville.

1:23:50 Caller No, no, I completely shave everything though.

1:23:54 Adam Yeah.

1:23:54 Drew Well, that just accentuates what you got hanging out.

1:23:57 Caller But it's nicer that way.

1:24:01 Adam I know, but you're like a guy who has a lot of scarring and some bad birthmarks on his head to sign to go bald. Let your hair grow out and cover up your hair.

1:24:10 Caller But that's only if you think there's a problem with it. She's the only one so far who's got a complaint about it.

1:24:15 Adam That's correct.

1:24:16 Caller I think somebody who's got massive scarring on the top of their head is different than somebody that's got a standardized genetic.

1:24:21 Adam No, but that's where you're wrong. That's where you're wrong. Exactly. The horrible vagina.

1:24:26 Caller All I'm saying is when you play a bad guy in a movie, he's got a lot of scars, he might be bald. He doesn't necessarily have a type 2 vagina.

1:24:34 Adam That is true.

1:24:35 Drew The phantom of the vulva.

1:24:36 Caller But you know how some girls have that natural girl smell?

1:24:40 Drew Yeah.

1:24:41 Caller I don't. I don't have any smell. And that's what's good.

1:24:44 Drew Okay. All right. But everybody has some good and some bad. Laurel said that's the deal. It's a hole.

1:24:52 Adam I got the smell and the interlapia blowing out of me. So I got dealt a pretty rough hand.

1:24:57 Drew And the coon skin.

1:24:58 Adam Yeah. I got the I got the hair. I got the interlapia and I got the smell.

1:25:03 Drew Laurel, do you live at home with your parents? No. Yeah.

1:25:06 Caller I was my mom.

1:25:07 Seth Green Where's your dad?

1:25:08 Caller Gone.

1:25:09 Drew What did he do to you?

1:25:11 Caller Nothing. What do you mean?

1:25:14 Drew They just, he just smacked him.

1:25:16 Adam How long has he been gone?

1:25:19 Caller I don't know. He left when I was like one and a half. I don't really know him, so it doesn't really matter.

1:25:24 Adam All right. All right. I don't know where to begin with you because you're really, you're like some restoration project where it's like do we start it upstairs, we start in the basement.

1:25:38 Drew And the owners want you to fix the driveway.

1:25:40 Adam Yeah. I don't know where to begin, but first off, mazel tov on the lesbianism because you're not going to be crapping out any kids that are going to be abused.

1:25:50 Drew And you like your relationship. That's good. It's, it's, you know, something that's satisfying for me.

1:25:54 Caller You know what I've heard? Okay, my sister has a normal kind.

1:25:57 Adam Oh, jeez.

1:25:58 Caller And she says that she's heard, oh, she likes girls too, but she says that she's heard that my kind has better orgasms. But when people, oh, it's like they never know where to go. And it's like a waste of time. That's why I'm like a giver.

1:26:13 Adam Right. You're a giver.

1:26:14 Drew Do you have orgasms?

1:26:15 Caller Also why I don't like anyone like going down on me? Because they never waste the time for me.

1:26:19 Drew And like, do you have orgasms?

1:26:21 Caller Yeah, by myself.

1:26:22 Drew How do you, how do you create them? Vibrators on the outside or on the inside?

1:26:28 Caller Outside.

1:26:29 Adam Yeah.

1:26:30 Caller Yeah.

1:26:30 Adam And like, Laurel sounds like one of the Von Trapp family members. You know, it just, this is sound of music kind of stuff right here. Wasn't there?

1:26:38 Drew So long, so well.

1:26:39 Adam There was a me, there was a sister that was about 16, I believe. I shared many of the same sensibilities.

1:26:44 Drew I'd like, I'd stay, and taste my first champagne. That's her.

1:26:49 Caller Wait, am I champagne? I mean vagina?

1:26:51 Drew Yeah.

1:26:51 Caller You know the guy that called that said he was a compulsive masturbator?

1:26:54 Drew Yeah.

1:26:55 Caller I might be that too.

1:26:57 Drew Okay. Yeah, Laurel, we're trying to crack you, but you're a safe that won't go.

1:27:01 Adam You're all over the place. Here's the thing.

1:27:04 Caller I'm imagining my mom wants to, like, send me to the mental hospital because I want to show her my vagina and I say it's ugly.

1:27:10 Drew Yeah. Showing your mom a vagina and saying anything is not a good impulse. And I think that it does mean there's something going on. Maybe it's obsessive-compulsiveness, whatever it is. There's something really seriously going on here. And Laurel, I do suggest you get it. I understand the symptom that's manifesting is this preoccupation with that part of your body, but it's a symptom. It's a symptom of something more globally going on here. And I think it's time to get that taken care of.

1:27:33 Adam Here's the thing, everybody. We gotta go to break, but you're 16. With the medical technology the way it is, you may have another 80 years on this planet. Let's try to see if we could just squeeze out 10 of them saying. Do you know what I mean?

1:27:47 Drew That'd be nice.

1:27:47 Adam Let's go ahead and get started now.

1:27:49 Drew Why not?

1:27:49 Adam By the time you're 17, 18, you'll be firing on all cylinders. Seth Green in studio tonight.

1:27:57 Caller Dispensing advice to all of America's youth.

1:28:01 Caller Yeah.

1:28:01 Adam Robot Chicken out on Sunday nights, 11.30 on the Adult Swim. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:28:09 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline.

1:28:11 Caller Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

1:28:27 Drew Yeah, that's what you call passive-aggressive, Adam.

1:28:29 Adam That's right. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Seth Green in studio tonight. Robot Chicken, name of the new show. And I don't want to call it animated. Can we call it animated?

1:28:42 Caller Yeah, it's an animated show, but it's like stop-motion animation the same as the Nightmare Before Christmas or the Rudolph the Red Nose Ranger stuff.

1:28:48 Drew It's all the same kind of equipment, same kind of technique.

1:28:52 Caller We shoot it all digitally, but it's the same process where you photograph it frame by frame.

1:28:55 Drew It's the Sid and Marty Croft School of Animation.

1:28:58 Adam Yeah, like Gumbi. Not Sid and Marty Croft. They had people in actual puppet suits.

1:29:04 Drew Who did the snowman, Frosty the Snowman?

1:29:08 Caller Oh, Rankin Bass.

1:29:09 Drew Rankin Bass, there you go.

1:29:10 Adam Yeah.

1:29:10 Caller It's the same process. We use toys and things that look like toys.

1:29:15 Adam And it's animation, but I don't think of that as animation.

1:29:18 Caller It's not cellular animation, it's stop-motion.

1:29:20 Adam Right. They call it, there's also claymation too. Are these clay?

1:29:25 Caller No.

1:29:26 Drew We use some clay elements.

1:29:29 Caller It's all stuff that has incremental movement. That's very exciting stuff. What you get to see is stuff that looks like toys acting silly.

1:29:37 Adam I would immediately, I'd do the hand movement thing for move it, move an eighth of an inch photograph, eighth of an inch photograph. Eventually, I'd just get tired of just jerking it around. Like you'd be over here, then you'd be over there. I just wouldn't have the patience to do it incrementally.

1:29:52 Caller Especially how you regulate speed, you know what I mean? If you're trying to show a speed of motion, you just do less, actually, progressive movement.

1:30:00 Adam Yeah, I grew up weaned on Davey and Goliath.

1:30:03 Drew Sure.

1:30:04 Adam Yeah. It was awesome.

1:30:06 Drew Oh, Davey.

1:30:06 Adam I bet we'd get to school faster if we stole that car.

1:30:09 Caller I don't know, Davey.

1:30:10 Adam I was like, oh, Christ, I'm gonna kill myself. I'm seven, I'm just thinking about just, I'm gonna choke on my ba-ba and take my own life.

1:30:18 Drew That show would always show up early mornings when you're looking for something good to watch and nothing else would be there.

1:30:23 Caller It's still on, actually.

1:30:25 Adam What would God want us to do, Davey? Oh my God, every episode was the exact same thing. There'd be some blind person would show up and they'd want to make fun of them and then they'd learn their lesson. It was awesome. And then it was scary because Davey had a black friend and an Asian friend and when they start going to other nationalities in the claymation department, it always freaks me out. Everyone, my whole thing is if you go claymation, you got to go white, otherwise it gets freaky. Black guys don't wear eyebrows, always wrong. It's just not right. David and he didn't hang with the brothers anyway.

1:31:00 Seth Green Nick.

1:31:03 Drew Nick 15.

1:31:04 Yep.

1:31:05 Drew What's going on?

1:31:06 I have a German in Germany or Florida.

1:31:09 Adam All right. Go ahead.

1:31:11 Okay. A man faces charges after attempting to bribe a policeman with McDonald's cheeseburgers. The man was originally arrested following a fight at a local pub, but tried to avoid being locked up by bribing the police officer on duty. The officer said, sorry.

1:31:26 Drew Keep going.

1:31:27 The officer said he told me that if I would drive him to McDonald's, he would buy me two cheeseburgers if I let him go and did not take him to jail.

1:31:35 Adam Okay. Well, in Germany, I got to believe.

1:31:40 Drew There was a pub in there.

1:31:41 Adam There was a pub.

1:31:42 Drew McDonald's.

1:31:43 Adam Still Florida. Yeah. The Germans aren't stupid enough to eat McDonald's. Yeah.

1:31:47 Caller They have McDonald's in Germany.

1:31:48 Adam They have it.

1:31:48 Drew They wouldn't.

1:31:49 Adam They don't.

1:31:50 Drew They would share that with anybody. They're not staffed.

1:31:51 Adam They're empty inside.

1:31:53 Drew All right. They're going to Florida?

1:31:55 Adam I'm going to Florida. I don't know. Seth, what are you? You going to Germany?

1:31:59 Caller Sure.

1:32:00 Adam Germany's smart because it's just all, okay. Florida, Florida and Seth has Germany. Go ahead, Nick.

1:32:06 Caller It is Florida.

1:32:07 Adam There you go. All right.

1:32:08 Caller Damn it, Nick.

1:32:09 Adam See, you're a liar. Once in a while we think of-

1:32:12 Caller How dare you do this to me on the air?

1:32:14 Drew We overthink it sometimes.

1:32:15 Adam Right. Yeah. You just made a boob of Seth Green.

1:32:19 Seth Green And I will find you.

1:32:21 Adam And as a performer, all you have is your confidence out there on stage. You know what I mean? And when you erode it that way, if Seth has to question himself, that's when you lose it.

1:32:33 Caller I don't even know who I am anymore.

1:32:35 Drew I mean, that's my line.

1:32:37 Adam We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:32:41 Drew Okay.

1:33:04 Seth Green This hour brought to you in part by Axe. Experience the Axe Effect.

1:33:22 Seth Green Hey, everybody.

1:33:23 Adam Well, that's the show.

1:33:25 Drew That's it.

1:33:25 Adam And that's the week, right?

1:33:26 Seth Green Yeah.

1:33:27 Adam I want to thank Seth Green for coming in here.

1:33:29 Caller You know what, Adam, I want to thank you too.

1:33:31 Adam No, you can't because I'm thanking you.

1:33:33 Caller It's too late, I already did. Thanks, Adam.

1:33:35 Adam Oh, man, it steams my beans.

1:33:38 Caller Burns a little bit, doesn't it?

1:33:40 Adam Seth is a dear, dear friend and a huge talent, and really, whether it's features or animation, if he does a project, you must go out and see it. Robot Chicken is no exception on the Cartoon Network, Adult Swim, 11.30, Sunday night. All right, I want to thank engineer Michelle, engineer Chris, and junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior producer Lauren for doing a great job, and of course, producer Ann, and...

1:34:11 Drew Brian.

1:34:13 Adam Brian for doing a great job on the phone. Dave doing a subpar job.

1:34:18 Drew Corey filling in for Brian.

1:34:20 Adam Doing a great job. Everyone doing a great job. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:29 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:34:33 Caller The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, February 24, 2005