Episode 1000679061458

10:43 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

10:50 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

10:56 Voiceover This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, am I Adam? That's Dr. Who? Dr. Drew, out of town again. Moonlighting in Seattle.

11:11 Drew That's right.

11:12 Dr. Who Dr. Drew, board certified physician, Dictionary of Medicine Specialist, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Unwritten Law in the studio tonight, Scott Russo, Tony Palermo. Yeah, a couple of paisans.

11:26 Adam That's right.

11:27 Dr. Who Where are you guys from?

11:29 Adam San Diego.

11:30 Dr. Who Outwater Village.

11:31 Dr. Who Oh, that's out somewhere. Oh, that's here. It's close. Yeah. Sounds like it should be further, but it's not. It does. Nice little blockbuster and everything there. That's right. Drew, what are you doing in Seattle tonight?

11:43 Drew I'm speaking at a school at Pierce Community College, Adam.

11:47 Dr. Who Oh, Drew, so sad to see what's happened to your career. That really is pathetic.

11:56 Drew I promised the kids there.

11:57 Dr. Who Go ahead. Did you take a prop plane out there? Like you just took something with pontoons on it, then they packed it into the back of a mule-drawn cart with some hay in it and dragged you to the junior college and propped you up in front of 14 people.

12:11 Drew It's called a C plane.

12:13 Dr. Who Yeah. So, yeah, it may even be a D plane. It's that bad. Yeah, Drew, very pathetic.

12:19 Drew I promised the kids. I promised the kids that I would defend their school. They were great.

12:23 Dr. Who Are you doing it? Oh, really? So, did you do the gig tonight? Yeah. Really? In junior college? Junior college, Drew? Yes.

12:32 Drew Yes. They filled a big room.

12:37 Dr. Who Let me tell you why. It's easy to put asses in seats at the junior college level because, A, everyone's living at home and they're pissed at, like, their stepdad and they just want to get out of the house. Plus, they got to score some reefer. So they were going to the college anyway, because that's all that goes on at junior college, just scoring a little reefer, hanging out, having a granola bar. I know what goes on, Drew. All right. So how did it work? Did it go OK?

13:01 Drew Yeah, it was great.

13:02 Dr. Who Did you yell at them and tell them to go to a real school?

13:04 Drew No, I apologize for your ranting towards them.

13:07 Dr. Who Well, listen, tough love. I mean, what do you do? Well, you deal with drug addicts, right?

13:13 Drew Right.

13:14 Dr. Who What do you do? You say, what you're doing is great. I applaud it. Or do you go, you got to get real, buddy. Take a look in the mirror. What I'm doing is like an intervention. I'm just telling you, listen, you were a crappy student in high school. You were crappy in junior high. You're now crappy in junior college. You will be crappy. You're a crappy student.

13:32 Adam You're going to be crappy in junior life.

13:33 Dr. Who Right. You pick up a welding torch and get busy.

13:36 Drew I think the community colleges are different in different parts of the country. It's not all the valley. You know what I mean? It's not all the North Hollywood.

13:44 Dr. Who Yeah. I know. I know there's probably nothing worse, but it still has to be relatively worse than it is in the regular universities. All right. Well, quiet down, Drew. Let's talk to Unwritten Law over here for a second. The band, by the way, is going out on tour with Sum 41. No dates yet. Why no dates yet?

14:03 Adam Because we just met.

14:04 Drew What tour?

14:05 Dr. Who How's that work? Who decided to go out with whom?

14:08 Adam We've been out with Sum 41, actually, before. It was fun, and they asked us to go out again in April, and so we're now debating that. I think it's a... Can I talk about this? Yeah. It's a coin flop between Sum 41 and Papa Roach, so we're just seeing who is really going to pay us the most money.

14:28 Dr. Who And do you do... Now, does it work? Well, how does it work? Does the band pay you, or how does the venues pay you? How does it work when you go out with somebody?

14:38 Adam To be honest, we've never had a paycheck.

14:41 Dr. Who And do you think, like, well, who's more our audience? And let me ask this. Is this your strategy? Do you go, well, Sum 41 may be more our audience than Papa Roach, and is that a reason to go with them, or do you want to get a new audience and go, you know, we should go out with this band so we can turn people on to our music?

14:59 Adam I think we want to go out with a band that's really going to tolerate us. I think that's pretty much the gist of it. And Sum 41 are definitely very easygoing. And Papa Roach are pretty nice, too. But Sum 41 lets us get away with a lot of stuff, so.

15:10 Dr. Who Yeah.

15:11 Adam It's looking favorable for the 41 team.

15:13 Dr. Who Well, also, I mean, you have to live with these people for months, right?

15:17 Adam Naked.

15:17 Dr. Who Yeah, I mean, in close quarters. I mean, it's got to be a nightmare if you don't get along. Like, if you, you know, you always hear about these horror stories, especially in the 70s. But you get some guy like Gene Simmons from Kiss or something. And you're going out.

15:30 Adam And all that hair.

15:31 Dr. Who All that hair and all that hair. Well, it's really all Grecian formula now. But, I mean, just get some, right? You get some blowhard. I'm just saying, there's certain, certain guys in notorious A-holes, you go on a road with them for four months. It's got to be miserable.

15:43 Adam Yeah, it is miserable. In our band, we just beat them up. And then that's the end of the tour.

15:48 Dr. Who Yeah. All right, good.

15:49 Adam Hoobastink.

15:50 Dr. Who Doesn't last four months.

15:51 Adam Yeah, doesn't last four months.

15:52 Dr. Who Oh, really? What happened? What happened with Hoobastink?

15:55 Adam The first day of the tour, I mean, the bass player was caught in a fight, but we ended up making out afterwards. But I was first day of the tour, it was some 41 actually, and Hoobastink.

16:04 Dr. Who I was reminded of the story that I witnessed three or four years ago at the K-Rock.

16:10 Drew Green Day. Yeah, Green Day.

16:12 Dr. Who Actually, I don't know if it was three, four or five, six years ago now.

16:16 Drew It was a while ago.

16:17 Dr. Who Green Day was out there playing, and one of the guys from Third Eye Blind, like, came out on to, he was, we were all standing in the wings just watching Green Day play. And one of the guys from Third Eye Blind, not the lead singer, maybe the bass player, he, what's the guy's name? He was named after like a star. It's like Mars or Celestial or something, whatever. Ringo? Constantly. Yeah, we're going to figure it out. He came, he just ran out on stage and started hugging the bass player from Green Day from behind. And the big Samoan security guard thought he charged on stage. Didn't know he was in another band. So I was just standing right there. So the thing that was funny is the big Samoan guy. Do we even have to say big anymore before Samoan?

17:03 Adam Absolutely not.

17:04 Dr. Who Let's just say Samoan guy, right?

17:06 Adam And you know, it's seven feet or better.

17:09 Dr. Who Yeah, the Samoan guy. Yeah, that's the calf width.

17:11 Adam Right.

17:13 Dr. Who The Samoan guy grabs the guy, tackles him and throws him to the ground. The Green Day guy sort of turns around and is like he's going to call off the dogs, like he's going to tell him not to do it. Yeah, like he's going to go, hey, no, no, he's cool. This guy's cool. He turns around, he looks at him for a minute and he kicks him in the head. And I thought that's rock and roll. But wait a second. Okay. He's waiting for him now. I saw the whole thing. It was weird. Now I'm leaving and he's waiting for him down. You know, you walk down the ramp, you go into the back here.

17:45 Adam He's waiting for Mike Dirt.

17:46 Dr. Who He's waiting for Mike with a beer bottle or a Stoli bottle or something. That's why he just cracks him right over the head with it and it just gives him a bunch of stitches in his forehead.

17:56 Adam It was the nineties.

17:56 Dr. Who It was awesome. Yeah. Out of control in the nineties.

18:00 Adam It's those rock parties.

18:01 Dr. Who Yeah. I know. It's awesome. I wonder what year that was.

18:04 Dr. Who Arian and I think it was seven years ago, but let me make sure.

18:07 Dr. Who Wow. Man. And I'll tell you, you know, it's scary because it was seven years ago and I was going, if I was a couple of years younger, I'd give these both these guys a thrash and that was seven years ago. So now just, you know, crap on them or something.

18:22 Adam I think it's a fashion beer bottles and fights.

18:24 Dr. Who Yeah. I just, you know, it's amazing. It's amazing what damage a well-placed beer bottle could do. So the Green Day guy got a bunch of stitches in his forehead. Yeah, it was awesome. All right. It was great too because I was like drunk and high. I was like, hey, is this really happening? This is awesome. All right. So what are we talking about? Unwritten Law. When's the new album is out? We're going to hear something off it. Well, it came out yesterday, right? The day before yesterday. Tuesday.

18:55 Drew Yeah, Tuesday.

18:56 Dr. Who Well, here's to the morning is the name of the new CD. We'll hear something off it in just a couple of few. And let's go to phones. Drew, do you have a computer in front of you?

19:06 Drew No. Well, I do. Yeah.

19:07 Dr. Who Oh, okay.

19:08 Drew Want me to look some up?

19:09 Dr. Who Look at that porn. No, I mean, can you see the calls?

19:12 Drew Oh, that computer. No, no, no. You've got that.

19:14 Dr. Who All right. Allison.

19:15 Dr. Who Hi.

19:16 Dr. Who You're 19.

19:17 Dr. Who Yes.

19:17 Dr. Who What's up?

19:19 Dr. Who I wanted to ask you guys if you think I made a right decision. And okay, well, the whole background to it is I have a five-month little girl and her father, because he's not a dad, because he has never been around, but maybe two days out of her entire life and my entire pregnancy. So I don't consider him a dad.

19:39 Drew Gene donor.

19:41 Dr. Who All right.

19:41 Dr. Who Pretty much. And he's up in Chicago, and I'm over here in Corpus Christi, Texas. And I wanted to know if you guys thought maybe I made the right decision in telling him to just leave us alone and don't bother trying every other give or take two to three months in being in her life and trying to be a father of the year.

20:02 Drew No way. No way. This guy is not going to change. He'll only be disruptive. He'll only be more further traumatizing to her. Get a male figure in her life and somebody decent.

20:12 Dr. Who Some inflatable or an actual person?

20:15 Drew Preferable to this guy being an inflatable guy.

20:17 Dr. Who I swear to God, I think my dad's stuffed with horse hair. I'm not sure if he's ever actually alive.

20:22 Drew But whomever you find you shouldn't be especially attracted to, because you're going to be attracted to jerks.

20:28 Dr. Who So look, the point is, you've taken a stand, Allison, which is kind of nice, right?

20:33 Dr. Who Well, because my biological father, I'm over.

20:38 Dr. Who Oh, drop the f-word. But first off, I'm shocked that somebody's repeating a pattern of their past and their family of origin. That doesn't happen very often, right? Oh, never. It never happens that she had an abandoning father and then hooks up with a guy who's not present for her young child. That never happens. If it did, by the way, if it did happen, well, then the government surely would recognize it. We'd start focusing on certain patterns.

21:04 Drew Or people would talk about it, at least.

21:05 Dr. Who Or people would talk about it, yes.

21:08 Drew Instead, let's talk about free will.

21:10 Dr. Who Yeah.

21:10 Drew That's much better.

21:11 Dr. Who Well, here's what we like to do. Everyone's an individual. Everyone is unique. There's nobody else like you. You can do whatever you want. You could be the president. You could be a great f-conductor. You can do whatever you want. No, it's more like you're... Look, I would just love to see these patterns. They're so goddamn predictable. You know, the dad splits and she hooks up with a flaky guy and he splits and here's what's going to happen. Without a little therapy and the right tutelage, her kid's going to hook up with someone.

21:42 Adam Same person. But is it, Drew, is it truly bad to not have any contact with the original father? Don't you think she'll be or the child will be pissed later on in life? I mean, I kind of want to know that.

21:51 Drew Absolutely, but here's the reality. She's got a father who's a flake, an idiot, and an ass. And better, he should be an absent one than one creating chaos in her life. But it's all bad, it's all not good. But if this girl can find somebody she's actually a stable person who she's attracted to, which will never happen, because she has to act out again. She has to be attracted to the unavailable guys. She has to be attracted to the guys just like her dad.

22:13 Dr. Who Drew, you put a pox on her.

22:14 Drew Not a pox, I'm challenging her. I'm challenging her. It's tough love, Adam. You said a tough love night, right?

22:19 Dr. Who That was somewhere between a curse and a pox or I like to call it a cox. To say. Yes, you can say that. That's with an X.

22:27 Adam Cocks.

22:28 Dr. Who That's right.

22:28 Adam Say it, Tony. See you. Cocks.

22:31 Dr. Who Tony, come on, buddy. Lighten up.

22:34 Not funny.

22:35 Dr. Who All right. Drew, you put a cox on her. She took a stand. She's doing the right thing and she showed some strength, so that's good. That's fine. All right. Let me give everyone a quick speech. Your job is to undo what your after parents did to you, not by going out and doing the same thing, but by getting better and then you can sort of, it's like you can wash it out of your kid. You're not going to completely cleanse it from you in one generation, but your kid, you can cleanse from. You can get your ass together, you can get a little therapy, you can right a few wrongs and then your kid can be healthy, and then their kid can be effed up again and you begin the syndrome. See what I'm saying? That's what I'm looking to do, Drew.

23:17 Adam That sounds optimistical.

23:18 Dr. Who I'm looking to have a really healthy child who gives birth to a junkie, like 45 years from now. Drew. Yes. Yeah, that's the bone phone ringing. Yeah. Yeah.

23:32 Dr. Who Woo.

23:33 Dr. Who All right, you ready? Where are we going? You want to talk to someone who has panic attacks?

23:38 Drew Whatever.

23:39 Dr. Who All right. Drew doesn't care anymore. Listen, he gets paid the same whether he helps or not.

23:44 Adam Panic attacks, they don't need any help.

23:46 Dr. Who Angie?

23:47 Dr. Who Yeah, hi.

23:48 Dr. Who Yeah, hey, you're 24. What's up on with Unwritten Law?

23:52 Dr. Who Um, let's see. I've been having panic attacks associated with sex and I was just wondering what do you think could be the cause of that?

24:03 Dr. Who Well, Drew, you think it's the usual stuff?

24:06 Adam Childhood.

24:07 Drew Yeah. Well, tell us more. Is it the same person? Is it a horrible story?

24:11 Dr. Who It doesn't matter who. Um, it can be anyone and. Um.

24:20 Drew I'm starting to have a panic attack now, Adam.

24:22 Dr. Who Yeah, me too. It's a dead air panic attack. Yes, I was our fault for letting one of the callers talk. You see what happens? Let me say something. All the program director ever tells me is stop talking so much. Take some calls. This is what happens when we take calls. Angie?

24:40 Dr. Who Yes?

24:42 Dr. Who Okay, baby doll, were you ever abused sexually, anything like that?

24:46 Dr. Who See, that's the thing.

24:47 I don't remember.

24:48 Dr. Who I blocked out pretty much my whole childhood.

24:52 Drew Well, the fact that you have to have to block it out. Yeah, it's a bad sign. There's something going on there. It may just be closeness that causes you panic attacks. It may be the sexuality that causes panic. Whatever, it's not something that we could sort of dig into and clarify in two and a half minutes on the radio. Come on. Yes, you have panic attacks. They should be treated. They're going to impair your ability to have a close and intimate relationship. Why not take care of that?

25:15 Dr. Who What should you do? Drew's had a panic attack before.

25:18 Adam Have a paper bag next to the bed.

25:20 Dr. Who Yeah.

25:20 Drew Well, you can learn to manage them. Some people would approach them with a behavioral technique, but I kind of suspect you're what they call a post-traumatic stress disorder. They might need a more global.

25:30 Dr. Who Yeah, more global means some therapy and maybe some meds or something. Drew, how many panic attacks have you had in your life?

25:38 Drew Oh, I had a horrible stretch when I was a sophomore in college. I started having a horrible panic attack. Sophomore, CC?

25:46 Dr. Who Sophomore's third year.

25:47 Drew I love it. Second year college. Then I had about a year. A year.

25:51 Dr. Who College is the place where they keep the books, right, Drew?

25:55 Drew It's like you said, it's a, what did you call it? A brothel with a bell tower and a football team.

26:00 Dr. Who Oh yeah.

26:02 Adam That's ridiculously great.

26:03 Dr. Who What's the name of the place where they keep the books?

26:05 Drew That's the library.

26:07 Dr. Who Library. Yeah, it's like, you know what, he's told to me like 25 times, but it doesn't have the word book in it, so it's like it never comes to mind. You know what I mean? It's not called book place or lend a book or take a book. Bookland? No book. It's called library. It doesn't even start with a B. Yeah, what's the course? I don't know what's up. Go ahead. These eggheads name a book house with no book in it. That's what it should be, book house. Of course. It should be a house of books or a book house.

26:34 Drew Booklender.

26:35 Dr. Who Yeah, go ahead, Drew. Booklender place. So you had a what? You had panic attacks when you were a sophomore in high school?

26:45 Drew Yeah, panic and then followed by a year of profound anxiety, paralyzing anxiety. It was wild. It got better.

26:52 Dr. Who What did you do to get better?

26:54 Drew Therapy, therapy, therapy.

26:55 Dr. Who Really? Back then in college?

26:58 Drew Yeah, I started a little bit.

26:59 Dr. Who Wow. Okay.

27:01 Dr. Who Time to get back.

27:02 Dr. Who Yeah, very sad. Drew had a panic attack when we were doing a Loveline the TV show many years ago. I snapped him right out of it.

27:11 Dr. Who Let's talk about it.

27:12 Drew Yeah.

27:12 Dr. Who Yeah.

27:13 Drew Well, tell them what you said.

27:15 Dr. Who Well, you tell them what I, we used to tape four shows a day and I always wanted to get out of there. And my whole thing is like, let's go. Let's get out of here. Before the first show. Here's how the show worked. We taped the first show at noon. I showed up at 1130, no, no, 1135, 1136. And we got to make upon, we just started the show and we do four one-hour shows in one day. But I always wanted to get out of there. Drew, I don't know where I was even going, but I wanted to get the hell out of there all the time. And whenever we would stop, I'd always be going, come on, come on, let's go, let's go, let's get going. Drew had a panic attack in between like the second and third show one night.

27:54 Drew Because I just had a fight with John Favreau.

27:57 Dr. Who Oh, John Favreau came in there and really like pulled...

28:01 Drew Sounds interesting.

28:02 Dr. Who Pulled a big scab off of Drew's wound and they got into it and Drew went back, did some reflecting and, you know, I think he did like a rail of bad speed and he freaked out back there. Well, you know, this is show business. You do what you got to do. You do four hour shows in a day.

28:19 Adam Come on, guys.

28:20 Dr. Who Yeah. So the point is, is he start freaking out and you want to come out of his dress room.

28:24 Drew So they need to know we were out there. And during a course, I said, I got to take a break.

28:27 Dr. Who And I went home and went back in your dress room. Yeah. We started the show and during a commercial said, I need a break and went to his dress room. Yeah.

28:36 Drew Yeah. I got a man. You get your fat ass out there. If I have to wait in this studio one more second, then I absolutely have to. I'm going to kick your ass. Now, go.

28:45 Dr. Who Get out there.

28:46 Adam So it was a violent, violent.

28:48 Dr. Who It was awesome because I knew that through what I do is, I do a iron fist and a velvet glove. That's what I gave Drew some tough love. But I knew he didn't have to do anything but sit on his fat ass while I ran the show anyway.

29:01 Adam Iron fist and a velvet glove, it sounds sexy.

29:03 Dr. Who I just get out there and sit down and let's do the show. We got out there and he sat down and we did the show, right Drew?

29:09 Drew There you go.

29:10 Dr. Who You're fine, right?

29:12 Adam You're cured.

29:13 Dr. Who Yeah, look at you.

29:13 Adam You should go into therapy.

29:15 Dr. Who Hi, this is John Favreau.

29:20 Dr. Who Yeah, arch nemesis. John Favreau was Drew's arch nemesis. Maria?

29:27 Dr. Who Uh-huh?

29:28 Dr. Who Your boyfriend left you for the Army?

29:32 Dr. Who Yeah, he sure did. I just had a question about his faithfulness because I mean he's so far away and there's like certain questions that I can't have answered in every time I heard it.

29:43 Dr. Who Drew, please. Who is he gonna hump where he's going? You know, I understand back in the day. Yeah, where is he going? That's a good point. Is he going to Iraq?

29:54 Dr. Who Uh, yeah.

29:55 Dr. Who All right. Who is he gonna hump where he's going? I mean, you know, like back in the day, you go to, you know, you go to Vietnam, you go to Germany. Like, hey, I'm gonna go liberate France. I'll be back in a few years, sweetie pea. Don't worry. You're just going down the street being showered with roses from beautiful Parisian women. All right. That's a different scene. Now you're over there and you got, you know, Magna with the mustache and the burqa. I mean, forget about it.

30:20 Adam The bee suit. Clearly, she's never been to Singapore.

30:23 Dr. Who You got a beekeeper over there. You ain't doing nothing. Am I right?

30:28 Adam But he has a long boat ride over there and he is a male.

30:30 Dr. Who So, yeah, but they don't stock the boat with comfort women or anything. He's fine.

30:36 Adam They stock him with something.

30:38 Dr. Who Maria, when's he get back?

30:42 Dr. Who Well, he's stationed in Louisiana for now, but I think he'll be leaving to Iraq in April.

30:51 Dr. Who Then he's going to be gone for how long?

30:54 Dr. Who It could be up to 18 months.

30:57 Dr. Who You're 18. That's a long time when you're 18. I mean, the fact he's going to be gone for a couple of years basically.

31:02 Drew How old is he?

31:03 Dr. Who Yeah, he's 19.

31:05 Drew How long you guys been together?

31:07 Dr. Who It's been about a year.

31:09 Drew What do you think? I don't know.

31:12 Dr. Who Pause. Maybe press pause.

31:15 Drew Maybe a little agreement where you get to the other people. By the way, he should be the one worrying, not you.

31:20 Dr. Who Yeah.

31:23 Dr. Who Well, I don't think I've given him a reason, and he's given me a few reasons.

31:27 Drew He cheated before?

31:29 Dr. Who Yeah. Well, yeah, even before he left.

31:32 Drew Uh-oh.

31:33 Dr. Who How did he cheat with before he left? How did you catch him?

31:38 Dr. Who No, I didn't actually catch him. He never really admitted to it, but I'm pretty sure he has before.

31:44 Drew Why are you staying with this guy then? Why do you stay?

31:46 Dr. Who Well, wait a minute. Why do you think he... Wait, wait. Hold on. Why do you think he's cheated before if you have no proof?

31:53 Dr. Who Because he's kind of hung out with his ex-girlfriend, you know, late at night, and it's kind of hard to believe that nothing's happening.

32:00 Adam I would believe it.

32:02 Dr. Who I believe him too.

32:05 Dr. Who How do you know he hung out with her late into the night?

32:08 Dr. Who Because I called him once and she kind of answered, so...

32:12 Dr. Who She answered his phone?

32:13 Adam They were just having tea.

32:16 Dr. Who What time?

32:18 Dr. Who It was like one o'clock in the morning.

32:20 Dr. Who What the hell is she... I don't even answer my own phone at home. Why was she answering his phone?

32:26 Dr. Who Yeah, that was basically my question and it took like a lot of... Sorry to get me over it and it's just... Now that he's far away, he like... I know he talks to this other girl and...

32:38 Dr. Who And is there... All right.

32:39 Adam Is there... You're 18. You're 18. You have a long life ahead of you.

32:43 Dr. Who Two years is basically the time... I mean, the same span of, you know, from 16 till now. Remember when you were in like the 10th grade and now you're graduating? That's a lifetime when you're 18 years old. Just forget about it. He cheated. He made his bed.

32:59 Dr. Who Fine.

33:01 Dr. Who Yeah. And here's the thing. Here's what I would do. Instead of going back and forth, dragging this agony out for eight or nine months and then cutting it off, why don't you just do it tomorrow?

33:14 Dr. Who Tomorrow? Because you get so emotional when I bring things like taking a break or, you know, you just get so, like...

33:25 Dr. Who I know. But the guys manipulate. They're going to hang out with their old girlfriends. They talk to the chicks on the Internet and all this kind of stuff. And then you say, look, we got to take a break and they freak on you. As a matter of fact, those guys freak harder than the guys that weren't cheating.

33:39 Drew That's right.

33:40 Dr. Who I don't know if it's like their passion or it's just compensation or what it is, but it puts the women in a horrible position because look, we wouldn't be taking a break if you weren't hanging out with everybody else. Now you did and we are and you're freaking out. And when you're 18, you're sort of malleable, you know, it's like some guy could freak on you and you could back off. Got to wait till he gets out of town, if he is out of town already, and then just drop a bomb on him and move on.

34:06 Adam Or just don't drop anything. Just don't answer a phone call.

34:08 Dr. Who Yeah. No, that's a good way to go too. All right. You're young.

34:11 Dr. Who Drew.

34:13 Dr. Who Here's the thing, you snap right back. Unwritten Law in studio tonight. We're going to take a quick break. We'll come back. We'll hear something off the CD after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew in Seattle at a junior college lecturing, everybody. Hi, this is John Favreau.

34:47 Drew Oh, they were great.

34:49 Dr. Who What's next?

34:50 Drew And they asked me to please defend their honor.

34:52 Dr. Who High school, junior highs, like dog training academies. What could be next for you, Drew? How low can you go, my friend? And by the way, high school is a more prestigious talking engagement than junior college. It really is.

35:10 Drew It depends on the junior college.

35:12 Dr. Who You keep saying that. Drew, how fast would you kill yourself if one out of the three of your children wanted to go to junior college?

35:19 Drew I'm dead.

35:20 Dr. Who That's right. I mean, seriously. Drew, you kid around, but you would look at yourself as a failure if one of your three kids went to junior college. Am I right?

35:29 Drew Yeah, as you know, it depends on the circumstances. But if it was because they weren't doing well in high school, yes.

35:34 Dr. Who You would be devastated, would you not?

35:35 Drew Yes, yes.

35:36 Dr. Who Disappointed?

35:37 Drew Yes.

35:38 Dr. Who Angry?

35:40 Drew No.

35:40 Dr. Who Vengeful perhaps?

35:41 Dr. Who Yes, oh yes.

35:43 Dr. Who Okay, that's what I'm saying. So there you go.

35:46 Drew All of the above.

35:47 Dr. Who He argues with me, yet if one of his children attended junior college, he would fall on a sharpened steak knife. Would he speak?

35:55 Adam Would you go speak at that college?

35:56 Dr. Who No, he'd be ashamed. He'd do it with a bag on his head. I failed. You know what there should really be? There should be 12 step groups for parents whose kids went to junior college.

36:07 Adam What's wrong with junior college? Isn't it getting prepared for college?

36:11 Dr. Who In theory, but no one ever goes.

36:13 Drew Right, no one ever leaves.

36:15 Dr. Who No one ever leaves, yeah. They go to junior college and never get out. It's like the Roach Motel with the hacky sack. All right, Unwritten Law in Studio tonight. Scott Russo here, Tony Palermo. We're going to hear something off the new CD. Here's to the morning. After one call, that's what I believe we're going to do. All right, let's see. We got Ryan. Let's talk to, let's do role play. All right, let me talk to Jessica.

36:40 Adam Yeah, Jessica. All right.

36:42 Dr. Who Jessica. You're 23? What's up?

36:47 Dr. Who Okay, a couple of years ago, I ran across some pornographic stories. And in this story, the couple was role playing as father and daughter.

36:58 Dr. Who What do you mean stories?

37:00 Dr. Who Oh, just-

37:01 Adam I thought this was going to be hot. It just got so bad so fast.

37:04 Dr. Who Were you reading?

37:05 Dr. Who Yeah, yeah. Well, anyhow-

37:08 Dr. Who Hold on a second. Drew.

37:10 Drew Yeah?

37:11 Dr. Who That house that holds the books?

37:13 Drew Book lenders.

37:15 Dr. Who I don't know if the name is any more. They don't have any of those pornographic stories, do they?

37:19 Drew I don't think so.

37:20 Dr. Who All right, well, now it's real.

37:21 Drew I'm trying to imagine what she was reading.

37:23 Dr. Who I wash my hands now. I was thinking of swinging by one of those book houses just to see if they had some pornographic stories. But if they're not going to have that, then it's off.

37:31 Drew Why should you bother?

37:33 Dr. Who Yeah. Jessica?

37:34 Dr. Who Yeah.

37:35 Dr. Who All right, so you're reading some pornographic stories in a book.

37:39 Dr. Who Well, it was actually off the Internet, but okay.

37:42 Drew Oh, there we go.

37:42 Dr. Who All right.

37:43 Dr. Who Anyhow, the idea really turned me on as far as role playing with my partner. And I suggested it to him and he totally freaked out and was like, no, oh my God, no, and don't ever suggest something like this again. And, you know, so I didn't. And we have split up and I'm with somebody else. And I still kind of want to. And I'm wondering why. And if I'm weird and, you know, that kind of thing.

38:11 Dr. Who We don't know. And yes, you wanted to talk. You want you talked to your boyfriend about role playing where he would play. He would play the role of your father.

38:21 Dr. Who Yeah.

38:22 Adam That's the only bum out. Any of the kind of Jane and Jungle theory is good. Cops and robbers, that's great. But father and daughter for some reason.

38:30 Dr. Who Yeah.

38:30 Drew It's a little weird.

38:31 Adam I think it's a Drew problem.

38:33 Dr. Who Yeah.

38:33 Drew Well, I find it interesting how the boyfriend is aversive to hollow any Oedipal stuff. And she's sort of attracted to it. Right.

38:41 Dr. Who I mean, it's probably not just role playing as father and daughter. I mean, role playing in general, you know, kind of.

38:47 Dr. Who He's got the children.

38:48 Adam That's funny. You're not weird. I don't think.

38:49 Dr. Who Right. They my whole thing, like, here's my role playing. Sweetie, why don't you play the role of someone who gives a great BJ? I'm going to play a role.

39:01 Adam That's the best role you can play. God bless you.

39:03 Dr. Who I'm going to play the role of the sofa warmer.

39:07 Drew You could be the receiver. You do that so well.

39:09 Dr. Who Yeah. Yeah.

39:10 Adam You can play the role of the fluffer.

39:12 Dr. Who I will be receiving on the sofa, jackass. That is my place.

39:18 Drew But your official title is receiver.

39:20 Dr. Who Well, I am a world class oral receiver.

39:24 Drew Show the boys.

39:25 Dr. Who Well, I'll show you guys. Yeah. I don't want to... What the hell? Well, it's the kind of thing where I'm like a magician. I don't want to show too many people the same trick too many times. I want people catching on. But a lot of people brag about how good they are in the sack and how they can give it to a girl all night or they can go down on them and make them scream. For me, it's a little different. I'm best at receiving. You know what I mean? Especially aural. My techniques are basically, I lean back like this. I'll never make a fist and smash it on their head or anything, or pick up a TV remote or brick or anything. I'll do it every once in a while. Not too much, but every once in a while, I'll be like, oh yeah.

40:07 Adam You never throw in, I'm your daddy and you're my daughter?

40:11 Dr. Who No, let's see, that's old fans.

40:13 Drew These guys don't seem properly impressed.

40:16 Dr. Who Well, hold on, they can't see my feet. They're just seeing me chest up, so they're not getting the full effect. But I really, just kind of lean back like this, and here's what I do every once in a while too. I don't even say anything, I just do this nose.

40:30 Adam Oh, that's so disgusting on the body right now.

40:33 Dr. Who That's creepy.

40:33 Dr. Who Yeah, someone's jealous.

40:36 Adam Somebody's jealous.

40:37 Dr. Who That is creepy.

40:38 Dr. Who Thank you, thank you.

40:40 Adam Just the sucking in of the air. I like the fact that the visual is not so good.

40:46 I like the fact that he throws in a couple of, oh yeah.

40:48 Dr. Who Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. No, no, nobody receives. Ask anybody who the best receiver of oral is. Ace man, every time. I know what the ladies love. All right, let's hear a little song from Unwritten Law, shall we? Yeah. The boys, by the way, are going to be on Letterman on Valentine's Day, coming up in just about a week and a half, two weeks. We'll hear a little something off the new CD you queued up there, Michelle. Yep. Yes, you is. This one is called Save Me. Yeah. Unwritten Law, everybody. In studio tonight, Dr. Drew, out of studio in Seattle, doing a little junior college yapping. And how is Seattle, Drew? Fantastic. Good to hear. Yeah. I knew it. All right. Drew decided he was going to take a leak during the song or something. I know he's a big fan, but I think he's a little burnt out on the Unwritten Law music. Quite frankly, what's going on.

45:09 Adam He's so sober now, he had to go to Seattle.

45:11 Dr. Who Yeah. He just couldn't take you as a person again. All right. Let's take one more call before we go to break. Let's speak to Megan, who's 21. Megan?

45:22 Dr. Who Hi. How are you doing?

45:23 Dr. Who What's up?

45:25 Dr. Who First of all, I want to say H1N1 saw you guys on Tuesday at Filmer.

45:29 Adam Thank you.

45:30 Dr. Who Awesome.

45:32 Adam That was really, really good, actually.

45:34 Dr. Who I had fun.

45:34 Dr. Who I had a lot of fun. It was great. It was a good... All right.

45:37 Dr. Who All right. I want to talk to you guys now. You have good shows and bad shows, right? Good Nights, Bad Nights.

45:42 Adam Most definitely, we are that band.

45:44 Dr. Who You're definitely that band. And how much of it has to do with the audience?

45:48 Adam Oh, probably not a lot. The audience is usually more of us debaucherizing everything that... just completely devastating ourselves before we go out. So it's really day by day.

46:01 Dr. Who Now, you mean getting loaded, getting drunk and going out there? Before, too. Just hungover from the night before, just in no mood to do anything?

46:08 Adam Just in no mood. I'm sure you can...

46:10 Dr. Who Yeah. No, I mean, listen, in terms of functioning, like if you really tie one on the night before, the next day, you're 50%, you know, at best. I mean, you can go through the motions. You can turn the headlights on in your car. You can figure out what key goes in the front door.

46:27 Adam You can still wash your body. Yeah, yeah.

46:29 Dr. Who You're not curing cancer that day.

46:31 Adam No way.

46:32 Dr. Who All right.

46:32 Adam In San Diego, we definitely had to put on a good show. It was like a hometown and the record release party.

46:38 Dr. Who Right. All right. Megan?

46:40 Drew Yeah. All right.

46:41 Dr. Who So you had, is Drew, are you there?

46:43 Drew I'm here.

46:43 Dr. Who Okay. Where were you?

46:45 Drew We had a Jack problem. Oh, really?

46:51 Dr. Who Listen, I beat my in high school, how dare you? Go ahead. Ask Drew the question.

46:57 Dr. Who Okay. Well, all my band members smoke.

46:59 Dr. Who I'm the only one who doesn't smoke cigarettes.

47:02 Dr. Who He asked me, I had to specify.

47:05 Dr. Who And they keep telling me that if you smoke up to a certain point and quit, your lungs can heal themselves.

47:12 Dr. Who And I don't know if I believe that.

47:14 Drew Yeah, you could smoke for probably three to five years and be okay. But whatever, there's a certain amount of damage that's reversible. You will have damaged the lining of your arteries. You will have put yourself at increased risk of heart disease. You will have added your risk for lung cancer. But will it be a huge risk?

47:32 Dr. Who What about pot smoke, Drew?

47:37 Drew Pot causes chronic bronchitis. There's concern that it may cause emphysema. It doesn't appear to cause lung cancer. It doesn't appear to cause heart disease.

47:45 Dr. Who Now, it doesn't appear to do lung cancer or heart disease because of what? I mean, because you're just not smoking enough of it?

47:52 Drew No, because the heart disease, these are real specific biological processes. You have to have carcinogens to cause cancer. There may not be carcinogens specifically in the smoke. There's irritants, but not carcinogens. And in the coronary disease, the heart disease, it has to damage the lining of the arteries. And that's a real specific thing that the nicotine seems to do. Well, the nicotine seems to do.

48:14 Dr. Who Oh, it's a nicotine thing.

48:15 Drew Well, it's not a nicotine thing. It's a cigarette thing.

48:18 Dr. Who What about those things, you know, those like American Spirit cigarettes that are not supposed to be processed or whatever?

48:26 Drew Oh, those make damn bit of a difference.

48:28 Dr. Who No difference.

48:29 Adam That's a sales pitch.

48:29 Drew Are you kidding?

48:30 Adam What about cloves? If I can put one positive thing out into the universe once in my life, I just got to say this, don't smoke. It's the most retarded thing you could ever do. I smoke and I can't stop smoking.

48:40 Drew I'll tell you the one thing you should be aware of is that the earlier you start smoking, the harder it is to quit and the less likely it is that you will quit.

48:47 Dr. Who Let me ask you this, Drew, again, with the kids.

48:50 Dr. Who Yeah.

48:51 Dr. Who We've already explored the Junior College theory. We've made it clear you would kill yourself if even one of them attended Junior College even for a semester. What about this? I'm going to give you a choice. Now forget about the part, the mind-altering part of marijuana. Forget, let's just say the pot was a blank. It had no THC in it, okay? Would you rather your child, just for pure health reasons, smoke a colossal bong load every day, okay? Or smoke four filtered cigarettes?

49:31 Drew Bong load.

49:32 Dr. Who Really go bong load?

49:33 Adam Snaps.

49:34 Dr. Who Yeah.

49:35 Drew Easy.

49:36 Dr. Who Really? That's why they make vaporizers. Now why easy? Because you always hear that thing where like people, I never believe them by the way, but they go like, you smoking that bong load is equivalent to you smoking like 10 cigarettes or something. And I always think they're full of crap.

49:50 Drew It depends what sort of issue you're talking about. In terms of causing chronic bronchitis, yeah, yeah, maybe. But that's a reverse-

49:57 Adam Let's get to the big boy, cancer.

49:59 Drew Yeah, not the cancer, not the heart disease.

50:01 Dr. Who Right.

50:02 Drew And by a single bong load is not 10 cigarettes either. It's just not.

50:06 Dr. Who Man, it doesn't seem like it.

50:07 Drew Now, remember, you're telling me absent the brain effects of marijuana.

50:12 Dr. Who Absent the brain effects, yeah. All the good stuff. But then, you know, but another thing too, though, is cigarette smoke, smoking is done sort of casually, whereas I know guys, like, before they take a bong load, they hyperventilate for half a day and then try to suck up all the air that's in the room via the carb or the bong. You know what I mean? Like, can that be good? You know that part where you're stretching yourself to the limit? There's got to be something in that.

50:39 Adam My friend, my heart, my friend did that all the time.

50:42 Dr. Who Too much. You guys ever done one of those vaporizer things? Hell yeah. Yeah. It's kind of weird. It's like someone chewed a pot and spit it at you or something. It's weird, but it doesn't burn it. Doesn't burn it.

50:54 Adam And is that any different, Drew, by vaporizing it?

50:57 Drew You know, I don't have any knowledge in that area. I'd heard that that's the idea, is to avoid the bronchitis and all that.

51:04 Dr. Who Yeah, I'm old school. I like the sick shooter, where you fill six different bowls. How big a hurry must you be in to get the stone? What are you going to get, some kind of bong shootout, by the way?

51:15 Adam You're the last man standing.

51:17 Dr. Who I got like a banana clip of weed. I duct taped to my bong so I could hit like 28 bong loads out of it.

51:25 Adam You said banana clip.

51:27 Dr. Who You can't just go fill another bong load?

51:29 Adam Right. He's so stony, he's that lazy.

51:33 Dr. Who That six-shooter thing never quite works either because you slide the thing over and something falls out or a seed pops and catches the one next to it on fire.

51:41 Adam They don't have seeds anymore.

51:42 Dr. Who Oh, they don't.

51:43 Adam No, he's...

51:44 Dr. Who That's right.

51:44 I'm old school.

51:46 Dr. Who I'm old school.

51:48 Dr. Who Yeah. He likes to lay back and just have it fly. That's right. I don't know from seeds. Yeah. I'm fixing to go buy a lid. All right. What's a lid? Unwritten Law in studio tonight. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah, buddy. True, quiet. Mics are hot. Scott and Tony in Tonight from Unwritten Law. Name and Al, this here's To the Morning. We'll hear something else off of that in the... Is this the thong song? What song is this? The thong song. What is this song? This is Ja Rule. Oh, this one? Yeah, get down.

52:44 Dr. Who I thought you were set up for a new song.

52:46 Dr. Who No, no, not you guys.

52:48 Adam It's the one we're in love.

52:49 Dr. Who You know, the song I like is I like the part where they go, I am getting so hot.

52:58 Adam I'm going to take my clothes.

52:59 Dr. Who I just love that pitch. Like, that's so stiff. Here's your lyric sheet. Now I sing, it's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. You give it a beat and say, I'm so hot. I'm going to take my clothes off. Okay?

53:14 Adam Genius.

53:15 Dr. Who Yes. It's genius.

53:17 Adam But it really is in real life, isn't it?

53:19 Dr. Who It's a great song.

53:20 Dr. Who I know. I just think, like, Five's in the Pan would be like, what? No. Are you high? What are you kidding?

53:26 Drew Dr. Drew in the hissy.

53:28 Dr. Who Drew, please. Everyone thinks you just did that, Drew.

53:33 Drew That's a great point. I know, it's good. Are you a Mormon?

53:34 Adam He didn't do that?

53:35 Dr. Who No, that was the Engineer Anderson. As a matter of fact, we don't even need you, Drew. I can use virtual. Yeah, I can use virtual Drew and answer.

53:43 Drew I'm a rapist.

53:44 Dr. Who Drew, please.

53:45 Drew Are you a Mormon?

53:46 Dr. Who Drew, please. Oh my God. All right, Drew, why don't you be quiet? Drew.

53:51 Drew You're gay.

53:52 Dr. Who The insults aren't helping your case.

53:54 Dr. Who That's Drew, that's not me.

53:55 Dr. Who Okay. Listen, Drew, here's what I'm going to need you to do. Take a powder, seriously. Let's just do virtual Drew, right?

54:02 Drew Take a powder for you, Mrs. Thurston Howell?

54:05 Dr. Who I don't know what that is. Just take a break, would you buddy? Take a chill pill, that's right. Let's just, all right, let's talk to, let's see, steroids, now.

54:15 Dr. Who Hi, this is John Favreau.

54:16 Dr. Who All right. There he is. Sending him into a tailspin. No, a tailspin. Here, let's talk to Jane. Jane?

54:24 Unwritten Law Hi.

54:25 Dr. Who You're 20?

54:26 Unwritten Law I am.

54:28 Dr. Who You think your clitoris doesn't work?

54:31 Unwritten Law Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's broken, actually.

54:33 Drew You're a more minty fresh cooch.

54:35 Dr. Who All right, Drew, please quiet. Wow.

54:39 Seattle.

54:40 Dr. Who Yeah. And, you know, he's tried one of those micro-brews or something. He's out of hand.

54:45 He's down at the wharf.

54:46 Dr. Who So, Jane. Throwing fish. You have no feeling.

54:50 Unwritten Law No, it's not that I have no feeling. It's just that it never actually goes to Oregon. Wrong guy.

54:57 Adam A little lower.

54:58 Dr. Who Drew, is that you actually coughing? Yes.

55:01 Unwritten Law Sorry.

55:02 Dr. Who All right, well, quiet. I didn't know if that's virtual Drew hacking. I don't know why I was served. That was real Drew.

55:09 Drew Virtual long load.

55:10 Dr. Who All right. So, say it again, Jane. I'm sorry.

55:14 Drew She can't have an orgasm.

55:16 Unwritten Law All right. Not from clitoral stimulation. I can orgasm from nipple stimulation, but not clitoral.

55:22 Dr. Who Oh.

55:23 Take a little Vicodin tonight, take some codeine, smoke a little heroin.

55:26 Dr. Who Okay.

55:29 Dr. Who All right. Well, look, whatever floats your boat. So maybe you just get the nipple twisting or maybe that's where your clitoris is.

55:37 Adam Put on some punching bills and start sucking them.

55:39 Unwritten Law Yeah. It's no fun.

55:40 Drew What do you mean it's no fun?

55:41 Unwritten Law Well, it's just, it doesn't, I mean, it's not very intense. It's not very comfortable to get there, I guess. I don't know. I would just prefer if, like, I could figure out why mine doesn't work.

55:52 Dr. Who Well, have you gotten any good oral sex?

55:55 Unwritten Law I think so.

55:56 Dr. Who I mean, my boyfriend's very receptive.

55:59 Dr. Who I don't have any, I'm telling him.

56:01 Unwritten Law And he doesn't, you know, give up.

56:03 Adam What about machinery?

56:05 Dr. Who Sorry?

56:06 Adam What about machinery?

56:08 Dr. Who I've never used machinery.

56:09 Unwritten Law I've heard that it, like, desensitizes you.

56:11 Adam Well, apparently you're desensitized, so we might as well start from somewhere.

56:14 Dr. Who Yeah, maybe it'll kickstart you.

56:16 Dr. Who Right.

56:18 Dr. Who Once you try getting, and when I say kickstart, get one with a kickstarter on it. Yeah, get the propane-powered one.

56:26 Adam And practice makes perfect.

56:27 Dr. Who Yeah. All right, so look, you're 20. Sometimes these things come on line a little bit later in line. All right. Dr. Drew in Seattle, Virtual Drew, out underneath Anderson's Magic Fingers.

56:43 Drew Get your moist ass down.

56:44 Dr. Who All right, Drew, any stuff.

56:46 Dr. Who And call Versiti Unwritten Law in studio tonight. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. Dr. Drew's in Seattle tonight, Unwritten Law in the studio tonight, here's to the morning. Oh, what a shock. Lauren brought the guest in late. Drew.

57:41 Drew No way.

57:42 Dr. Who Mark this down on your calendar. Mark it down, because this doesn't happen very often.

57:47 Drew Never happens.

57:47 Dr. Who Except shocking. Except for when we have guests. Yeah, I said, all right, my last words is, boys, you got five minutes.

57:57 Adam That's the last thing I heard.

57:58 Dr. Who Lauren, you got to get them, bring them in here. Thirty seconds left. Lauren poked her head in twenty seconds ago and said, how much time left? And Michelle went nine seconds. And she went, OK, well, I'll go look for the guys.

58:13 Adam We were in the middle of vaporizing.

58:15 Dr. Who All right, listen, that's how the show works. Everyone keeps. I'm done, by the way, I've said many times, can't we do just a normal radio show where the guests are in studio when we come back from commercial and Drew always pulls me aside and goes, this is the way we've always done it. Drew, you'd be great. You know what it's like? It's like I come into a shop and say, look, why don't we put the conveyor belt for the tires next to the conveyor belt for the rims so we don't have to carry them across the entire factory. And you're like, this is the way we do it. All right, at least can we get some hand trucks? We have to drag this stuff.

58:46 Drew We carry rims here. We carry them. We carry rims.

58:48 Dr. Who Drew's like, this is how we do it. We've been the third biggest manufacturer of rims and tires, but we could be, and then they yell at me. So listen, I'm done trying, Drew. That's it. I like the way it is. I was going to say if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But if it's only sort of hobbled, don't fix it. Cause the show's not really broke. It's just sort of hobbled. It walks.

59:11 Adam It's got a peg there.

59:12 Dr. Who If it was a person, it would be a veteran that walked with a limp, but it still could get around.

59:17 Drew With dignity. But with dignity.

59:19 Dr. Who Yes. Head held high. All right. You know, engineer Michelle explained to me that it's been a while since we played any of Ace's Ranchero according to Countdown.

59:30 Drew Let's do it.

59:31 Dr. Who This is a game, by the way, that is so big and so huge and on the tip of so many people's tongue, tongues, I forgot to do it for the last two months.

59:40 Dr. Who Ace's Ranchero Countdown.

59:42 Drew No good.

59:42 You don't like that game.

59:46 Dr. Who Remember that?

59:46 Drew Nope.

59:47 Dr. Who Alright, so here's how it goes. The backbone, I know you guys are pretty heavily into Ranchero music, right? Of course.

59:54 Dr. Who Yeah.

59:55 Adam Isn't it, buddy?

59:56 Dr. Who Scott, you're from the San Diego area?

59:58 Dr. Who Yes.

59:58 Dr. Who Is that true? A lot of Ranchero music blowing around that part of the world, right?

1:00:02 Adam Old town.

1:00:03 Dr. Who Yeah. A lot of nice Ranchero stuff. The backbone of Ranchero music is the accordion. It really is awesome. And there's almost no Ranchero music that doesn't contain a healthy ass full of accordion. So the question is, is Engineer Michelle pots up a random Ranchero song in a random spot, not even the beginning of the song, just at some point in the song. How long before we hear accordion? Any Ranchero song? And we don't check them to see if they have accordion.

1:00:34 Dr. Who Well, you just said it was the backbone.

1:00:35 Adam It really is. I would say it opens up the track.

1:00:39 Dr. Who Yeah, it's got to.

1:00:40 Drew All right. There you go. All right.

1:00:41 Dr. Who But remember, we're not listening to the beginning, right in the middle, but it opens up the we don't know where. OK, so you're going to media.

1:00:47 Adam OK, so let's think about this. So I believe that I would put the Ranchero right after the or right before the first verse or right after the first chorus in the accordion, the accordion, the accordion.

1:00:56 Drew Well, you're starting at a random spot.

1:00:58 Dr. Who You're getting all scientific on us.

1:01:00 Adam Oh, I thought we were getting scientific.

1:01:01 Dr. Who No, no, there's no science. It's all about gut.

1:01:06 Adam Okay, so this is more like a place where we're picking a number between one and ten. Seven.

1:01:11 Dr. Who Seven, all right. You're going deep. I gotta be honest with you. Drew, do you want to give a number out?

1:01:18 Drew Three.

1:01:19 Dr. Who Three seconds. Tony, you got something?

1:01:21 Adam I say two.

1:01:23 Dr. Who Two seconds.

1:01:23 Adam That's like the prize is right. He's just trying to underbid Bob over here. Exactly, exactly.

1:01:27 One dollar.

1:01:30 Dr. Who There's a strategy to it. I'm going immediate. That was my original statement. You can change. You want to modify?

1:01:36 Adam No, I'm sticking with seven at a time.

1:01:37 Dr. Who Wow. That's...

1:01:39 Adam My original statement. My seven being seven seconds, but my original point being is that they open up the track. But here we go.

1:01:45 Dr. Who But you're sticking.

1:01:46 Adam He's a ground zero. You're a two because you're underbidding like you do.

1:01:49 Dr. Who Right.

1:01:49 Adam He's a three. I'm a seven.

1:01:51 Dr. Who Seven. All right. Hold on. Hold on a second. I do the queuing around here. You're not in studio, buddy. I'm not one of your lackeys. I will do the ranchero queuing because we have to count it down on the digital clock. This is official stuff. You can't just be waving your hand around.

1:02:08 Adam Don't give me all ranchero on you guys.

1:02:09 Dr. Who Yeah. All right. You're ready? Three, two, one, go. I'm saying that's the media. That's the media. Yeah.

1:02:19 Adam How did you know? Adam's the winner.

1:02:22 Dr. Who All right, Scott. I don't want any bad blood between us, man.

1:02:25 Adam I mean, I wasn't feeling bad blood.

1:02:27 Dr. Who It's just like.

1:02:28 Adam I was sharing my blood.

1:02:29 Drew It will melt away.

1:02:31 Dr. Who Yeah, just listen to the music.

1:02:32 Drew Just take it in.

1:02:33 Dr. Who Let it take you away.

1:02:35 Drew Oh, yeah. Oh, there I am again. New England, wintertime. Covered.

1:02:41 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:02:41 Drew Yeah. Oh, covered wagons.

1:02:44 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:02:44 Drew No, no. Covered bridges.

1:02:46 Adam Enjoy it, right?

1:02:48 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:02:49 Drew Oh, yeah. Nothing says New England in the winter like Ranchero does.

1:02:53 Dr. Who Beautiful. Drew, you're so right.

1:02:54 Adam Part of the way, though, the lobster and rice and beans.

1:02:57 Dr. Who I just burped and it smells like rice and beans.

1:02:59 Adam It's Ranchero.

1:03:02 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:03:05 Dr. Who This guy really pounds that squeeze box, too.

1:03:07 Unwritten Law Yeah.

1:03:09 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:03:12 Adam I like the simplicity of the bass line, though.

1:03:17 Dr. Who And the basses are so big. Oh, yeah.

1:03:20 Dr. Who Now, they're the world's biggest guitars played by the world's smallest people. It's great. We got a guy who's short and fat. We got a guitar that's, you know, 70 metric tons and this guy is just to play it like, like it's like, listen, listen, Pedro, we'd like you to make, yeah, yeah, you're already 5'3 and 2'45. We'd like you to look shorter and fatter. We're going to give you a huge, novelty-sized guitar.

1:03:44 Adam The Samoan guitar. It's the opposite of the Samoans, how they have the little ukuleles.

1:03:50 Dr. Who Yeah, it makes them look huge.

1:03:51 Adam Two continents, two people.

1:03:53 Dr. Who That's right.

1:03:53 Adam One love. One sound.

1:03:54 Dr. Who Yeah, one wonderful sound.

1:03:56 Adam Rice and beans.

1:03:57 Dr. Who All right. Well, that's how you play Aces, Ranchero, Mexican accordion, Countdown. You see what I'm saying?

1:04:03 Drew They play well.

1:04:04 Dr. Who Yeah. Drew, I don't want to jinx it. I probably shouldn't say anything on the radio, but I've had some Hollywood heavy hitters sniffing around interested in the idea of taking it to TV.

1:04:14 Drew Oh, I would doubt it.

1:04:15 Dr. Who Yeah, they're looking to get Mark McGrath to a host.

1:04:18 Drew They're looking at feature film.

1:04:20 Dr. Who They're looking at... Drew, you know, we can't talk about things until the ink has dried. You know what I'm saying? I understand. All right. But yeah, they're looking to make it a feature. Right.

1:04:30 Dr. Who I believe it.

1:04:31 Dr. Who Looking at Antonio Banderas to start it. Yeah. It's still in the negotiation. I don't want to say anything more. I'm superstitious, but I got a good feeling about this one. That's all I'm saying. All right. Let's talk to Ryan. He's been on hold for a whopping 82 minutes. Ryan?

1:04:48 Unwritten Law How you guys doing?

1:04:49 Dr. Who 25. What's up?

1:04:50 Unwritten Law Just questions for Dr. Drew. Drew, I'm an anabolic steroid user and my wife and I are trying to conceive. My question is if we do conceive, will the child have any birth defects?

1:05:04 Drew No. Not that I'm aware of. Other than people that really get into the anabolic steroids often have stimulant histories and addiction, so you might pass that along. But that's all.

1:05:16 Unwritten Law Okay. I mean you're right on about the addiction, so.

1:05:19 Drew Yeah. So you have about a 50% chance of passing that along, so. What's up? The steroids will just reduce your sperm count, they won't change the quality of the sperm. Right.

1:05:28 Dr. Who Why are you doing the juice, Ryan?

1:05:30 Unwritten Law I'm a full contact cage fighter.

1:05:33 Dr. Who Cage fighter?

1:05:34 Unwritten Law Yeah. You know, way to make some bucks here and there.

1:05:38 Drew Wow.

1:05:39 Adam Where are you from?

1:05:40 Dr. Who So stripping. Yeah. Cage fighting is scary.

1:05:45 Adam That is totally scary. I don't want to say anything rude.

1:05:47 Dr. Who No, be nice.

1:05:49 Unwritten Law The rest of our college is just a way, you know, to make a little extra cash on the side.

1:05:53 Drew So what do you do for a living?

1:05:55 Dr. Who Otherwise, you know, it's going to regular job. He's an accountant.

1:05:58 Unwritten Law Regular job.

1:05:59 Dr. Who You don't want a regular job. All right. Yeah. But how about when you start having regular kids? Don't you need a regular job?

1:06:06 Unwritten Law Well, hopefully, you know, cage fighting would get more lucrative for me pretty soon.

1:06:11 Dr. Who Cage fighting is, you know, the wave of the future in terms of career for most young men. I agree with you. I mean, when you look whenever you look at those job industry things that do the projections in the future, data entry, computer repair, and then cage fighting. Entering the off to cage is a close third.

1:06:29 Drew You know, the grabs that breaks through the top of the chart. It keeps going up to the ceiling.

1:06:34 Dr. Who Yeah, it's weird. Like back when our dads were getting into cage fighting, in the 70s, late 60s, it just wasn't a market for it. They didn't have the pay-per-view and stuff like that. My dad tells me stories. He'd have to cage fight guys. We'd walk with 20 bucks a night, 20 people in the stands. It was tough.

1:06:52 Drew But occasionally they'd beat the horse hair out of them.

1:06:55 Dr. Who That's right. All right.

1:06:57 Adam And Ryan?

1:06:59 Dr. Who All right, well, here's the thing with something like cage fighting as far as I can tell. It's pretty brutal stuff and, you know, you're much higher likelihood of just suffering a horrible injury and not really being able to have the kind of career in it that you would like.

1:07:13 Unwritten Law Well, yes, I do have my college education. I can wrestle throughout college, but I'm not ready to get a job yet.

1:07:19 Dr. Who What's your education in?

1:07:21 Unwritten Law Journalism.

1:07:23 Dr. Who Journalism?

1:07:24 Unwritten Law Believe it or not, yeah.

1:07:25 Adam Journalism and cage fighting.

1:07:26 Dr. Who Why don't you just write about the cage fighting?

1:07:28 Adam Two good tastes that taste great together.

1:07:29 Dr. Who It's safer.

1:07:30 Unwritten Law I'm a violent, physical person. I just, you know, I want to get this out of me before, you know, something I can look back on when I'm 50 and take a lot of people's asses.

1:07:40 Drew Why don't you, uh... The steroids make you that way to some extent. I mean, I understand you're that way already.

1:07:45 Unwritten Law Yeah, that's not what I'm concerned about. I'm like that, you know, naturally. I'm just worried about if we conceive what the child has. No, I gotcha.

1:07:54 Drew I understand.

1:07:54 Dr. Who Listen, you wanna know why. You gotta start smoking some pot.

1:07:57 Adam Yeah, make a whole bunch more of you guys. That would be awesome for the planet.

1:08:01 Dr. Who Yeah. Yeah, listen, Ryan, being violent and physical and everything is great, but it's not great daddy kind of material, you know? Maybe you guys ought to wait a little bit.

1:08:11 Unwritten Law You're just the size of me, bro. I mean, you know, when I step in the ring, and that's just the machine. And then when I'm outside the ring, you know, I'm a great guy, believe it or not.

1:08:20 Dr. Who Well, what's your record inside the ring?

1:08:22 Unwritten Law I just started out on 7-0. I haven't lost yet.

1:08:27 Drew Well, here's the deal. What's your name? In the ring, though.

1:08:31 Dr. Who You don't get it. You know, it's like boxing. You know, what do you think it's called? The Great Centaur? It's like boxing. It's like Mike Tyson. What's his real name? It's Barney Schwartz.

1:08:44 Dr. Who Well, you know, because ring fighting, I pictured the first Spider-Man movie.

1:08:47 Dr. Who No, no, you go with the name. If you get good, like here's the name. Here's the deal with names in this kind of fight. If your name is like Brad Hansen, then you will become Bad Brad Hansen or something like that. You see what I'm saying? Ryan is tough.

1:09:03 Adam Ryan the Lion.

1:09:04 Dr. Who Remember Ryan's good. Also Ryan's with dying.

1:09:06 Adam Oh, dying Ryan the Lion.

1:09:08 Drew Here's the thing about this guy.

1:09:09 Adam Spying Lion.

1:09:10 Drew And that is that, Adam, you and I talk about all the time how kids just absorb, they soak their environment up in their family system like a sponge. Just talking to this guy, he's kind of a scary guy. He's sort of intimidating and angry and not hostile, but there's like an anger there. You can, it's palpable. And believe me, a three year old is going to be freaked out by that. On top of that, the fact that he is so violent suggests that he went through some pretty awful stuff. And there's about a 60% probability then that he will act some of that out on his kids, whether he thinks he will or won't.

1:09:38 Dr. Who Well, whether he acts it out or not, it's just aggressive dad freaks a kid out. All right, so listen, Ryan, do your thing. You're only 25. Get it out of your system and start thinking about cramping out some kids in five, six years.

1:09:51 Unwritten Law Well, I mean, yeah, that's the plan, but I was just wondering, you know, I'm going to continue to juice and get bigger, but my main concern is, you know, will it hurt the child once that time comes around?

1:10:02 Drew If you're able to conceive, if you still get erections, that remains to be seen, yes, it'll be fine.

1:10:08 Dr. Who All right, well, there you go. Well, Mazel Tov. That's what I'm saying.

1:10:13 Drew Teach your own. Manashevitz.

1:10:14 Dr. Who All right. Kristen.

1:10:16 Unwritten Law Hi. Yeah, I have a question. It's actually two part. My boyfriend has this fetish called face-sitting. And this is not this is like something I've just been aware of recently. So my part of the question is, is this normal or is he really weird?

1:10:33 Drew Face-sitting?

1:10:34 Adam Tony, it's called the flying squirrel. What is it?

1:10:38 Dr. Who What is it?

1:10:39 Unwritten Law The flying squirrel?

1:10:41 Dr. Who How much explanation do you need on face-sitting?

1:10:44 Adam Pretty much says it all.

1:10:46 Unwritten Law I don't know. I never have heard of that. Nobody's ever asked me to do that. I didn't know anything about it.

1:10:51 Drew Well, how does fetish? It's just sort of a position.

1:10:53 Unwritten Law No, no, no.

1:10:53 Drew It is fetish.

1:10:54 Unwritten Law And that's the second part of my question. He can't have intercourse.

1:10:58 Drew Why?

1:10:58 Unwritten Law And because he will lose the erection. And this is sort of a problem for me, but I'm trying to ask like, oh, it's okay. I'm trying to be nice, but I don't know. I'm like, what do I do? You know?

1:11:08 Dr. Who Well, how did you, how did, okay. So how does the face-sitting work?

1:11:13 Adam I'm confused on who's sitting on whose face.

1:11:15 Dr. Who Yeah, because I made me good at this too. I'm not sure.

1:11:21 Dr. Who Along with the oral receiver talents.

1:11:24 Adam So who's on what?

1:11:24 Dr. Who How does this work? Is he lying down on the bed?

1:11:27 Unwritten Law Yeah, he lies down.

1:11:28 Adam And then you sit on his face.

1:11:29 Unwritten Law He likes me to like push him around and be like that. So he would want me to just sit on his face. But the weirder thing about it is he doesn't care if I have clothes on or not. So he would prefer it if I don't, but he likes it either way.

1:11:44 Dr. Who And now he's lying on the bed on his back, right?

1:11:47 Unwritten Law Yeah.

1:11:48 Dr. Who And you're sitting on his face and you're facing his feet?

1:11:52 Unwritten Law He likes it that way. He likes it the other way too.

1:11:54 Dr. Who It's irrelevant.

1:11:55 Dr. Who He likes it both ways.

1:11:57 Drew Does he try to stimulate you with his mouth?

1:11:59 Adam Yeah, he does.

1:12:01 Dr. Who He does?

1:12:02 Unwritten Law Yeah.

1:12:02 Dr. Who But he doesn't mind if you're wearing clothing?

1:12:05 Unwritten Law Well, actually, every time we've done it, I haven't been wearing clothing, but he said that he likes it either way. Like, he thinks of it even with clothes on, it's like a sensual thing. And that doesn't make any sense to me.

1:12:17 Dr. Who Sensual.

1:12:17 Dr. Who I don't like the McJeans.

1:12:19 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:12:19 Adam I mean, this isn't tasty about Tide.

1:12:22 Dr. Who This isn't tasty about Levi's.

1:12:23 Dr. Who Yeah. It's always creepy when a guy says sensual.

1:12:26 Drew Yes. Oh, no. Or erotic.

1:12:29 Unwritten Law In his defense for that, he's a foreigner, so English is not his first language.

1:12:35 Drew This is getting weirder all the time.

1:12:37 Dr. Who Is he German? Where is he from?

1:12:39 Unwritten Law I don't want to stay in case somebody, I know, hears this, but he's from one of the Scandinavian countries.

1:12:45 Drew Now, if that's the last part of the world I would have picked.

1:12:48 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:12:49 Dr. Who Yeah. Well, here's the thing, too. Plus, it's tough. The face-sitting is rough on those people because they wear kooky frames on their glasses and they really get bent out of shape, especially if you're, you know, a hefty gal. I mean, that's what they, you know, that's what they tell me.

1:13:03 Drew Well, a fetish, anyway, a fetish is something, a way of focusing one's attention in an intimate contact, a way of diverting attention from more, hmm, genuine intimacies that can feel overwhelming and scary. And so, as you see, when you actually try to have intercourse with him, he does nothing for the fetish. He can't maintain erection. He can't be close. It's overwhelming to him. But when he, so I imagine, would his ultimate experience be with somebody doing, manipulating him while sitting on the face?

1:13:31 Unwritten Law Yeah, we do that. But sometimes, because if I'm facing the other way, not that direction, you can't do that. So he doesn't, I guess he doesn't really care.

1:13:40 Drew Just think, just take a beat, Adam, and think about the S that women put up with for men. Just go right along with it.

1:13:47 Dr. Who I think he's getting a raw deal here. I mean, she's facing the other way. He's basically just wearing a turban of snatch on his head. I mean, that's...

1:13:57 Drew An abalone?

1:13:59 Dr. Who Like someone just cracked an abalone and dropped it on his head like a yarmulke. That's brutal.

1:14:05 Adam What if you were to start it?

1:14:06 Dr. Who She's staring at him.

1:14:07 Drew Adam, Adam, giant clam. I saw two giant clams today.

1:14:10 Dr. Who What do you mean you saw two?

1:14:12 Drew I was at the hotel, I'm seeing it. They've got giant clams in the fish tank.

1:14:16 Adam Put them on your face.

1:14:18 Dr. Who Yeah, make sure it faces the Lake Garrett post or on the wall while the thing wanks you in the face.

1:14:25 Adam But how is this? If he's into laying on his back, she's on top, and he doesn't get aroused during sex, then what if they start with whatever, you know, your owner's face, then you guys 69, so it gets him aroused, and then you guys can get into sex from there.

1:14:40 Dr. Who He loses it.

1:14:41 Drew He'll still lose it. He'll still lose it.

1:14:43 Unwritten Law And like we tried to talk about it, and he blamed it on the condom, which he told me later, that's not the case. He also said that he doesn't feel like the intimacy for intercourse, he feels it in stages, and I don't know if he's saying that in either scene.

1:14:57 Drew No, no, that's what he means. That's what he means. The intimacy, the real intimacy is too overwhelming to him, so he has this sort of way of diverting it, but he can experience himself as though it were intimate, as long as he has this way of having his attention diverted by whatever the fetish might be. How did you read up about, how did you find out about this? Did you read up on the internet or something?

1:15:16 Unwritten Law Sort of, after he mentioned it the first time, I kind of looked it up to see what it was about, and I couldn't find anything very educational.

1:15:25 Drew Yeah.

1:15:27 Unwritten Law All I know is from what he's told me, and that's not very much, and having experienced it a few times.

1:15:31 Drew I've never heard of anybody reporting this as a fetish. It's kind of an unusual one, because usually it's sort of a body part, or a piece of clothing, or something like that, or an activity that they need to focus on. And the Abalone Yarmulke aside, Adam, just think about what women put up with with men, and so good nature too, right? She's like, you know, I mean, come on.

1:15:51 Dr. Who I know, and listen, a couple of things, a couple of problems with face-sitting. You can't hear anything with face-sitting.

1:15:59 Drew Why would you want to?

1:16:01 Dr. Who Ironically, well, I'll tell you why in a second. You hear the sound of the ocean, it's just a sound and people could walk in, you know, parents, friends, loved ones, that kind of thing.

1:16:11 Drew Also, the thigh can make a suction cup in the ear really hard.

1:16:15 Dr. Who Blow an eardrum out. Yeah. When they pull off, you got a big gout.

1:16:20 Adam When does this happen to you guys? That's what I've heard.

1:16:22 Dr. Who When hasn't it happened? That's what you should be asking. When aren't we being face-sad upon?

1:16:27 Drew You just have to abandon their tracks, dude.

1:16:31 Dr. Who When aren't we face-sitting? That should be the question.

1:16:35 Adam I like your new name for Speed Metal Band. Turbine of Snatch.

1:16:39 Dr. Who Oh, yeah.

1:16:39 Adam That's good.

1:16:40 Dr. Who That's so great. I kind of like... Turbine of Snatch.

1:16:44 Adam That was random.

1:16:45 Dr. Who Abalone Yamaka's a snitch song.

1:16:46 Adam I like that one. That's the new name of our record.

1:16:49 Dr. Who All right.

1:16:51 Dr. Who Here's the thing. Can we just... Let's just agree on something here. If we do in fact agree on this.

1:16:58 Drew Abalone Yamaka?

1:17:01 Dr. Who I would say that this is a deal breaker. That if she's a normal girl and she wants to have a normal relationship...

1:17:08 Drew But he's a big strapping Norwegian man.

1:17:11 Dr. Who I'm just saying if you want to have intercourse and you want to have intimacy, this guy, Sven the Face-Sitter is not the guy for you. Okay?

1:17:21 Drew Right.

1:17:22 Dr. Who That's all.

1:17:22 Drew He's not going to change. You can sort of ease him in to intercourse once in a while and then he'll keep bringing back to the face-sitter.

1:17:31 Dr. Who I don't know that you get guys like this away from whatever they're into. I just feel like you hook them up with the right people.

1:17:38 Drew Right. It's like you and the big jugs. How are we going to do?

1:17:43 Dr. Who Well, what are you going to do? I'm not doing anything.

1:17:47 Adam I don't know too many girls who would be opposed to just sitting down and taking it. You know what I'm saying?

1:17:53 Dr. Who Yeah, I know.

1:17:54 Adam Is that such a bad thing, really, in real life, I guess?

1:17:56 Dr. Who No. You know what?

1:17:58 Adam For a female.

1:17:59 Dr. Who Here's the reality is, is it would be good if it was a guy, meaning, as a guy, if someone would just go do something that felt good to you for hours on end, you would sign up for it. But the girls are missing the intimacy part of it and the connection part of it, therefore, you're thinking like a guy.

1:18:15 Adam Yes.

1:18:16 Dr. Who See what I'm saying? Which is good. That's good to occasionally think like a guy. All right. Let's, sorry for the occasionally part. What are we going to do? We want to take a call for, no, we got to call for the band. Vanessa?

1:18:30 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:18:31 Dr. Who You're 21?

1:18:32 Dr. Who Yes, I am.

1:18:32 Dr. Who You saw Unwritten Law?

1:18:34 Dr. Who Yes, I did. I saw them on my Sweet 16th perform, actually, for two girls' birthday.

1:18:40 Drew Yes, you did?

1:18:42 Adam Maybe on about six songs.

1:18:45 Dr. Who Yeah, I have a question for you guys about that, actually. I had saw it and I was like, oh my gosh, how cool is that to have Unwritten Law come play for my birthday party? I thought that would be totally awesome. But yet, they weren't really grateful for having you guys. They're like, yeah, I guess they're pretty cool. They're not really that famous, so they shouldn't be charging that much. I was like, how can they be so rude? And I was like, how did you guys feel that enough even thought? I mean, they were really unappreciative to have even come and play for them.

1:19:12 Adam I'm so glad that you asked this question because we've had people come to our website and ask this question a lot. And what happened was is we were, after we had seen the show, obviously, about three weeks ago when it came out, when we were pitched to the show, we were told that there was two 16-year-old girls and one of the girls, it was her birthday, and she had breast cancer and it was terminal. And we were her favorite band, and for her sweet 16, she wanted an unwritten law to play. So when we got that, we were like, of course we'll play, there's no way that we would ever, as a human being, never let that go by, especially if it's an hour out of our time for this girl. And so we went and played, we never met the girls at any time. Wow. And then we saw the show, and they were like, they thought we were Linkin Park, or they were Unwritten Who, or Beyoncé, and it all ended up, see, the whole time we were really bummed, because we weren't bummed that we were actually stoked the girl wasn't dying, so that was a blessing.

1:20:04 Drew Yeah.

1:20:05 Dr. Who Why did you think she was dying?

1:20:06 Drew Why did they tell you that?

1:20:07 Adam Because that's how they pitched us, obviously to get us to come play a show for cheap.

1:20:10 Dr. Who They just lied?

1:20:11 Adam Straight up.

1:20:11 Drew Yep.

1:20:12 Adam They told us that one of the girls, the girls, it was terminal.

1:20:14 Dr. Who Who's they?

1:20:16 Adam I believe that her dad was booking it through someone. And her dad was pitching it to someone who got to our manager. And that's how we got to do the show. And so when we got there, we never met the girls or anything like that. The climatic part did come though at the end of the show. They didn't know who Unwritten Law is. And Unwritten Law is a rock band and sometimes the shows get pretty out of control.

1:20:38 Dr. Who Why did they book you if the girl wasn't a particularly big fan?

1:20:43 Adam If you watch the show, you can see her sitting with a bunch of skate surf kids and those guys were obviously going to get Unwritten Law and they were playing the cool card. But the great part of the story is that when she went out to go dance to Unwritten Law, they weren't dancing, they were slam dancing and she got punched right in her face. So everything was redeemed and here we are and it's a happier day because of it.

1:21:05 Dr. Who Wow.

1:21:06 Dr. Who We had to stop playing though.

1:21:08 Dr. Who You had to stop playing? Yeah, we had to stop playing.

1:21:09 Adam Well, the father actually, the father who pitched us on the girl having cancer didn't know what he was getting for his daughter. Right. They found us. Oh boy. He was so surprised.

1:21:19 Dr. Who Wow. So the joke ended up being on them but still what I, you know, I was just had a friend who, a bunch of friends, someone raised said somebody had cancer, did a fundraising thing at like the comedy store or was it, maybe it was the improv. Everyone came in, they raised tons of money. Turned out the chick was fine.

1:21:38 Adam Yeah, yeah, this stuff is going on. Neither of these girls had chemo, I can tell you that much.

1:21:44 Dr. Who Wow.

1:21:44 Adam They had, they had, they had like.

1:21:46 Dr. Who They had nothing. But they got the fist though, right, the face though, right? Good. Or the back of the head. All right. Well, there you go. Interesting. Unwritten Law in studio tonight. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:22:02 Dr. Who Hi, this is Jon Favreau.

1:22:07 Dr. Who Yeah. Drew's favorite Favreau. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew in Seattle tonight talking to a junior college. What won't Drew do for Nicholm? It was Scott. Yeah, it was great. Scott and Tony here tonight from Unwritten Law. CD is out. Just came out. Here's to the morning. Name of the CD. We'll hear something else off of that after we take another call or so.

1:22:34 Drew Hey Drew, I saw a promo.

1:22:36 Dr. Who John Favreau is going to be on Dr. Phil tomorrow.

1:22:38 Drew I'm going to check it out.

1:22:39 Dr. Who That's going to be awesome.

1:22:40 Drew I won't miss it.

1:22:41 Dr. Who I'm going to tell you how to lose weight.

1:22:42 Adam I'm going to miss it too. I'm going to miss it.

1:22:44 Dr. Who Yeah. There's so many shows that are out there now where it's like, listen people, you want to lose weight, you got to get real. It's like, yeah, all right. You got to tell you what you got to do right now. You got to burn more calories than you're taking in. You got to breathe. You got to eat right. And you got to move. Hold on. Really, where does that go? Now, let's see. I eat those frozen snicker bars. And I use an electric wheelchair to get around the house, even though I'm fine. Is that what he's talking about?

1:23:17 Drew That's absolutely right.

1:23:18 Dr. Who You got to breathe. You got to move. You got to eat right.

1:23:22 Adam You have to walk all the way to your mailbox.

1:23:24 Dr. Who Yeah. And they do that like, there's no magic pill. I wish there's something I could tell you right now that would be, but there's no, you got to eat. Yeah. Doesn't everyone know this by now? You just eat the crap that tastes like crap, all the raw stuff and the celery and the carrots and all that crap.

1:23:38 Drew But Adam, you got to decide to do it. You got to decide.

1:23:41 Dr. Who That's right. You got to decide. And I like these. I like, I look, I love when they just wax and blow hard about everything. I can't come over to your house and make you exercise. Oh, really? I was counting on you swinging by the apartment, Phil.

1:23:56 Dr. Who You're not going to come by?

1:23:57 Dr. Who Yeah. Richard comes by. Yeah, I think that's for other things. So I really think he wants something. I do. I can't run on the treadmill for you. Hey, when you're at the restaurant, it comes time for you to decide whether to have a piece of cheesecake. I can't decide for you. I can't.

1:24:15 Dr. Who All right.

1:24:17 Dr. Who Jesus Christ. I want someone to come up with something good. Like I want a trick. You know what I mean? I want someone to go like you want to lose weight.

1:24:26 Adam Speed.

1:24:27 Dr. Who You got to do some trucker speed. Trucker speed. Or you got to pat your belly and rub your head at the same time.

1:24:34 Adam What was the one in the 80s where they put you in a thing and they just shook your belly for a long time?

1:24:40 Dr. Who That was like the 20s.

1:24:41 Adam My mom did that.

1:24:43 Dr. Who That side I want.

1:24:44 Drew The rubber band.

1:24:46 Dr. Who The one that's nice is the electrode ones. Where it's like you strap these things on. And like I would have gone with them if they hadn't said, if they hadn't exaggerated like, you put this on for 10 minutes, it's equivalent to 2,700 pushups. It's like, what? If you'd said the equivalent to 30 pushups, I would have been signing up. So you got my credit card. But the 2,800 pushups like first off, you go rattle off 45 pushups. Tell me how you feel about 2,800 pushups.

1:25:15 Adam It's it.

1:25:15 Dr. Who And you put it on your belly. That's the same as doing 36,000 crunchies.

1:25:20 Adam It's like taking a nuclear rocket to your chest.

1:25:23 Dr. Who Really? And I'm eating while this thing's on me?

1:25:27 Drew And laying back?

1:25:28 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:25:29 Adam Or a receiver?

1:25:30 Dr. Who They don't have any of those things anymore.

1:25:31 Drew I like the way they do it. You tired of your stupid friends having to work hard and exercise? You got them all beat. You're going to sit back and just, you know, that's equivalent to 6,000 sit ups.

1:25:42 Dr. Who Receive it.

1:25:43 Drew Order pizzas and get electrodes.

1:25:44 Dr. Who You know, what seems to be really attractive with workout equipment is the option to store it under your bed, too. For me, it's not a great option, but it's like, folds, it goes under your bed, goes right under your bed, you slide it under your bed, it's like, stop putting crap under the bed. Yeah, under the bed's where you hide when the knife-wielding maniac breaks in through the kitchen window. You want to be competing under your bed with like an ab flexor or something? You've got one leg hanging out, the guy who escaped from the mental institute comes and stabs you because you've got that piece of equipment under there? No way.

1:26:17 Adam He's cutting your arm off and the abdominalizer at the same time. That's right.

1:26:20 Dr. Who The way you're losing weight is he's moving limbs. That's the way you're... No way, Drew, am I right?

1:26:25 Adam Right.

1:26:26 Dr. Who Drew, what's under your bed? Nothing, right?

1:26:28 Drew Nothing.

1:26:29 Dr. Who All right. Drew's tired. Where are we going, Drew? I'm going to talk to... Let's see who's been on hold the longest. I'll talk to Mike. Mike?

1:26:39 Dr. Who You're 19?

1:26:41 Dr. Who What's up, man?

1:26:42 Dr. Who What's happening?

1:26:42 Dr. Who Long time listener, first time caller. You guys are tight.

1:26:46 Dr. Who What's up?

1:26:46 Dr. Who Unwritten Law, real quick, new single, Kicks Ass.

1:26:50 Adam Thank you very much.

1:26:52 Dr. Who Yeah, I think it's you guys' best stuff, for sure. Dr. Drew?

1:26:57 Drew Yeah.

1:26:58 Dr. Who Since you guys were talking about taking bong loads and whatnot, I had a quick question for you. You talked about how a smoking pod is a lot different than smoking cigarettes with regards to being healthy and stuff, like not causing cancer is not proven to cause cancer.

1:27:14 Drew Right.

1:27:14 Dr. Who How bad for you is it neurologically if you consume it?

1:27:18 Drew Well, it causes in some people, there's a lot of ways to answer that question. First of all, in some people it causes a horrible addiction. Like that guy, that guy's got it. You get a horrible addiction and as such, it can really have a profound impact on people's lives. In terms of any damaging effect, under the age of 16, even occasional pot use has shown to perhaps delay frontal lobe growth, which is the part of the brain that's rapidly developing during adolescence. So under 16, we worry about people using it at all. And in an adult, people who use it heavily can get brain shrinkage. So some certain amount of brain cell, probably glial or glu cell dropout. But that seems to be reversible though.

1:27:59 Dr. Who All right. So how is it reversible?

1:28:01 Adam Thank God.

1:28:04 Drew Neurons don't come back.

1:28:05 Dr. Who You guys are in a band. Don't worry about it.

1:28:08 Drew But glial cells do return. They restore.

1:28:10 Dr. Who I don't want to die when I'm 50 though.

1:28:12 Adam I don't want a small brain.

1:28:13 Drew Well, look, if you're dealing with marijuana addiction...

1:28:16 Dr. Who You just write those songs and rock out. Don't worry about that.

1:28:19 Drew Marijuana addiction occurs in all...

1:28:20 Dr. Who Save the big brain stuff for the Ace man...

1:28:22 Drew .all situations the same way. It is something... You guys remember the first time you smoked pot? Yes. How about the first time you got high-smoking pot?

1:28:31 Adam Yes.

1:28:31 Drew First time. Yes.

1:28:32 Adam First time I smoked pot was in third grade. First time I got high-smoking pot was in sixth grade. And I cubed all over my girlfriend.

1:28:38 Drew You just take a few exposures before you finally get high with it. And for the people that have this, oh my God, experience when they finally get high, we'll use every day from then on. And somewhere between one and 30 years after that gets started, the effects will wear off, people start getting depressed, they start having memory problems, have difficult initiating.

1:28:56 Adam You don't want to do anything at all.

1:28:58 Drew Right, and then you either get treatment or people switch to other drugs, typically speed or opiates now. Mm-hmm, that's good times.

1:29:06 Dr. Who Thanks for bombing out the band.

1:29:08 Unwritten Law No way, I'm inspired by it.

1:29:09 Adam Amen, European brother. I don't know, I like doing home chores, you know? Really? You do? You have a little, I'm the exact opposite, I don't like to do anything at all.

1:29:18 Drew I can do that as well. But you understand that it takes time for that effect to kick in. Some people it starts kicking in at a year, some people it's 30 years later. Eventually, in all cases, you start getting that motivational problem in the depression. And then what do you do in response to that? What are you going to do when you start feeling that way?

1:29:34 Dr. Who Gotta eat more pot.

1:29:35 Drew So you smoke more pot. Yeah, you smoke more. Absolutely in all cases.

1:29:38 Adam Shake it up a notch.

1:29:40 Drew They smoke a lot more pot and that accelerates the decline. And then we see them in treatment.

1:29:45 Dr. Who Eating pot seems expensive to me.

1:29:47 Adam It sounds stupid.

1:29:48 Unwritten Law You have to change.

1:29:49 Drew I don't know, it's good.

1:29:50 Adam It's retarded. You eat it, you don't get stoned immediately and then you're stoned for like 8 hours. It's good for long overseas flights. Yeah, yeah.

1:29:57 Dr. Who It's good for when you're traveling.

1:29:59 Drew Not like going to the bank.

1:30:00 Adam Valium is good for traveling. Eating pot is no good anytime, anywhere.

1:30:04 Drew It's fun.

1:30:05 Dr. Who You guys should really do a PSA on the dangers of eating pot.

1:30:10 Adam I don't eat it. Talk to Mr. Stoney Brownlee over here.

1:30:14 Dr. Who Hey kids, this is Scott from Unwritten Law. Never, ever eat pot. You should take a Valium or like, you know...

1:30:21 Adam I'm trying to put a good stop. Don't smoke cigarettes because cigarettes lead to pot and pot leads to...

1:30:26 Dr. Who No, but that's not true.

1:30:27 Drew I never smoke cigarettes.

1:30:28 Adam Well, okay, fine.

1:30:30 Drew Think about having to do a drug every day of your life, whether it's cigarettes or alcohol or pot. Having to do a drug every day. Eventually, your body is not designed to take a drug in every day.

1:30:42 Dr. Who What about coffee, man? Yeah, man. Hey, what about coffee, dude?

1:30:46 Adam That's a drug. That's my new one.

1:30:49 Dr. Who What about a Fexer, Drew?

1:30:50 Drew What about it?

1:30:51 Dr. Who How does that do for you?

1:30:53 Drew For me?

1:30:54 Dr. Who No, for me.

1:30:55 Drew Fexer is a good antidepressant. It's a dual agent. It's serotonergic and neuradenergic. It's good.

1:31:01 Adam Good things, two thumbs up.

1:31:02 Drew Yeah, it works well for the marijuana depressions. If you smoke a lot of pot and get depressed, it works for that.

1:31:08 Dr. Who Well, there you go.

1:31:09 Adam It's up to dosage.

1:31:09 Dr. Who All right. Dr. Drew in Seattle. We're out here in Los Angeles way and we'll take a little break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody.

1:31:23 Dr. Who Loveline.

1:31:24 Dr. Who I'm Adam, Dr. Drew in Seattle tonight. Here's to the morning. Name of the unwritten law CD that you will now have to go out and get because it just came out. Scott and Tony here tonight from Unwritten Law. We'll hop back to phones and see if we can save the world one screwed up teen at a time. Lauren?

1:31:43 Unwritten Law Yeah.

1:31:43 Dr. Who You're 20?

1:31:45 Unwritten Law Yeah.

1:31:45 Dr. Who What's up?

1:31:47 Unwritten Law Okay. So this is what happened to me. Oh, first of all, I want to say hi to Scott and Tony.

1:31:52 Adam How are you doing?

1:31:54 Unwritten Law Good. I'm glad to hear from you guys.

1:31:56 Dr. Who I'm glad you guys made a new CD.

1:31:58 Unwritten Law Cool. Anyways, so this is what happened to me. About two weeks ago, I was just partying up with this guy I was dating. And we ended up going back to my house. Previously, we had, like, taken a few lines and drunk a little and drank a little. And I'd known him for, like, two years. And we just started dating because we were such good friends. Whatever. And so we went to bed. Well, I didn't make him fall in love with her.

1:32:23 Drew Hold it right there. This guy was waiting for two years. We were good friends. Oh, no, no, no, no. He was waiting for his moment to pounce.

1:32:30 Adam Yes. And this is the case with every single guy.

1:32:33 Dr. Who Saving up for an eight ball for two years.

1:32:37 Adam My guess is he that wasn't his first eight ball. Avaloni toupee? What was it?

1:32:41 Dr. Who That's right. Well, a couple of minutes ago.

1:32:42 Adam Avaloni toupee.

1:32:43 Dr. Who I don't know.

1:32:45 Dr. Who So anyway, so you fell asleep?

1:32:49 Unwritten Law Well, yeah, this is what happened. And I've slept in the same room with him before. But I gave him no indication that I wanted to do anything. I mean, we've done stuff in the past. But that night I was just, I guess, gone or tired, whatever. So he slept in my bed and I turned the opposite away, like away from him. And whatever, I wake up at like three o'clock in the morning and he's trying to have sex with me. Like actually having sex with me. And I was just so...

1:33:15 Dr. Who He's raped, right? Yeah. He's inside of you?

1:33:18 Unwritten Law Yeah. And I was just so disgruntled and like scared that I just like waited like...

1:33:23 Dr. Who Hold on. Disgruntled is a strange word. That's like an employee who gets moved to a smaller cubicle.

1:33:29 Dr. Who I'm raped.

1:33:32 Dr. Who You're being raped.

1:33:33 Adam You're being raped. Yeah. That's horrible. That's a police party.

1:33:36 Dr. Who You should be outraged. Yes.

1:33:38 Dr. Who It's horrible and I didn't know what to do.

1:33:40 Adam Right.

1:33:41 Unwritten Law So I just kind of sat there for a little bit and then of course realizing what's going on. I was like, you know, get the hell off me, whatever, and kicked him out of my house for a little bit.

1:33:49 Adam He's going to need this to someone else.

1:33:50 Dr. Who For a little bit.

1:33:52 Drew Well, no.

1:33:53 Unwritten Law He keeps calling me and I told him never to call me again. Don't contact me. I don't want anything to do with you.

1:33:58 Drew Right.

1:33:58 Unwritten Law And he said he's really sorry.

1:34:00 Drew Maybe he's confused. I have heard of women. You know, I've done some of this work for Discovery Health Channel. We were interviewing people and several women said they like this. They seek it. They're awake having sex. They want to be awakened by the penetration.

1:34:17 Dr. Who Yeah, but wait a minute. That's a husband and wife in the sack. That's not buddies that crash out.

1:34:24 Drew No, she said...

1:34:25 Unwritten Law I've had previous relationships where we wake each other up like oral stuff.

1:34:29 Dr. Who Have you ever...

1:34:30 Drew No, but she's having sex with this guy. She's been having sex with him.

1:34:33 Dr. Who No, she said she fooled around with him before.

1:34:36 Unwritten Law I have never had sex with him before.

1:34:37 Drew I see. I bet you've been.

1:34:38 Adam You've had oral sex with him before? Yeah. So having sex wasn't so far-fetched.

1:34:44 Dr. Who No, but I never...

1:34:46 Dr. Who I never told him I wanted to.

1:34:47 Unwritten Law And I also told him I wanted to get an STU check before he touched me.

1:34:53 Dr. Who Let me just be realistic about this. What he did to you is sort of technically rape, except for rape is like this cast this huge net that just can't... pulls up everything, you know?

1:35:03 Drew I'm a rapist.

1:35:04 Dr. Who Drew, please, let me finish with...

1:35:06 Drew It's a violent crime.

1:35:08 Dr. Who Well, it is. It's a violent crime. It's not a sexual crime. It's a violent crime where you come at the end, but it's still violent. You just... you just busted out, you know, at the end. But here, like any violent crime where you come.

1:35:20 Drew But here... You're robbing a liquor store.

1:35:22 Dr. Who I was robbing a liquor store and I pistol whipped the guy and took all his cash and then came and then ran out. It would be no different than that kind of violent... That same thing.

1:35:30 Drew So finally... Not sexual, mind you.

1:35:32 Dr. Who Not sexual.

1:35:33 Adam It wasn't consensual, so it was rape. And I think that the less you do about this, the more this person is going to do this to someone else.

1:35:40 Dr. Who Well, but here's the problem. I mean, I'm trying to be realistic here. You were doing coke, you were doing... You were drinking with the guy. You'd have... you've had previous encounters with him and then you passed out. Now, he's going to say that you were like blacked out. He went over there and he got on and it was all consensual and then you freaked out.

1:35:58 Adam It's irrelevant.

1:35:59 Dr. Who It really... what he did was wrong. What he did is technically rape. Is it... do you have a case? I don't think so. I gotta be honest. Just stay away from it. You did the right thing. You reacted correctly. What he did was wrong. He doesn't deserve to be your friend. And here's the moral of the story. Don't do a bunch of coke and a bunch of booze and go pass out at a guy's house.

1:36:20 Drew This is what guys do. What are you... yeah, do not do this. You're putting yourself in situations that are so dangerous. Do not do this.

1:36:28 Unwritten Law I really... okay, yeah, I can't really defend my actions.

1:36:31 Dr. Who All right, then don't. I'll put you on hold. But look, you did... the point is, is you reacted appropriately. You threw the guy off you.

1:36:37 Drew You told him to hit the brakes. Get rid of the guy and that's it.

1:36:39 Dr. Who And you don't call him back. You learned a lesson. And by the way, you really... here's what it is. Whatever you did to you is done. As bad as that sounds, it's done. Now what you can do is learn a valuable lesson, not get yourself in this position again and move forward with your life.

1:36:55 Drew And do a good look at the drug and alcohol stuff. All right. Just smoke weed.

1:36:59 Dr. Who We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be, yeah, smoke weed, eat weed. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody. Well, that's the show, and it's time to say bye to a lot of people. Yeah. Dr. Drew over in Seattle, thank you very much. I want to thank Tony Scott for coming in here from Unwritten Law.

1:37:37 Drew Thank you.

1:37:38 Dr. Who I want to thank Anderson and Michelle and Chris. And whose phone is greening? Brian?

1:37:46 Drew Brian was there.

1:37:47 Dr. Who And who else we got to thank tonight? Synthetic Dream. Lauren and producer Ann, I want to say goodbye to a friend of mine named Jennifer Popkin who died from cancer just a couple of days ago. She was a record rep. She died at 35 and went way too young. And we're all going to miss her and like to dedicate tonight's show to her memory. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew, saying mahalo.

1:38:22 Adam This has been Loveline.

1:38:26 Dr. Who The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold.

1:38:37 Adam Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, February 3, 2005