Episode 1000677276936

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:14 Voiceover This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Yep, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-ER. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, and he's in... Who cares right now? Where are you, Drew?

1:37 Drew Atlanta.

1:38 Adam Atlanta. What are you doing in Atlanta?

1:40 Drew I'm going to interview a guy that's doing research on male versus female brains and... You're going to love this. In response to pornography, doing functional MRI scans and seeing how differently the brains react.

1:52 Adam Have you done it yet?

1:53 Drew No, I'm doing it tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning. But I've seen their research. That's why I wanted to come out here and do this.

1:58 Adam Why do they have a functional MRI in Atlanta and we don't have one here?

2:02 Drew Because I think they have one up at Stanford, but this is Emory University. These are research tools. They're not like that going to sit you in it for some sort of, you know.

2:10 Adam All I'm saying is this is Los Angeles. Can UCLA or USC get one?

2:15 Drew Well, let's get to work on that.

2:17 Adam Well, I'm just saying you got to go to Atlanta?

2:20 Drew I do, yeah.

2:23 Adam Atlanta? Atlanta.

2:25 Drew Well, they publish the good stuff, too. They publish all the interesting papers, though.

2:28 Adam I'm just saying, if it was New York, you know, I wouldn't say anything. But then you got to LA. I mean, research equipment should go to, you know, market size.

2:37 Drew Big cities.

2:38 Adam Big cities. Yeah, New York gets the best stuff. LA gets second-best. Atlanta's, you know, their number 14.

2:45 Drew Okay, right. Well, they stepped up. They got ahead of the pack for some. I had an interesting experience right now. I'm out of this radio station. Of course, they have the crappy coffee like everyone. And they have a little machine there. You know those machines you put, you used to put a penny in and twist it around and get like a gum. You know what I'm saying? Well, now you put a quarter in, you get like a fistful of M&Ms. And there was something truly satisfying about that. Now you pay 60 cents for a bag and it's sort of an awkward amount. You know what I mean?

3:09 Adam What do you mean an awkward amount?

3:12 Drew There was something really satisfying about getting that handful for a quarter. It was exactly what I wanted.

3:17 Adam Well, you know, maybe that's all you need.

3:20 Drew That's what I'm saying.

3:21 Adam Yeah, at this time at night, you just want to crunch into a couple of sweet little round things for like six bites and then you'll be satiated. But if they gave you a sack the size of a pillowcase, you would kill it in the next ten minutes.

3:34 Drew That's right. But having the handful and just putting the thing, you know, having it in my mouth, that was just exactly right. Something I was like, wow, I haven't stuck money on one of these machines since I was about six.

3:45 Adam Yeah, I like it when the nuts go rancid and then you get the little avalanche of crumbs after the toffee nuts at the filling station. Oh, yeah. Oh, you kids don't know from vending. All right, you ready to go here, Drew?

3:59 Drew Yeah, here we go.

3:59 Adam You all right? All right, so let me say something. When you see your functional MRI scans tomorrow of males and females, is it going to be good or is it just going to be one of those things that's supposed to be good, but turns out to be boring?

4:12 Drew The research they did, I actually aired their pictures on the Dennis Miller Show. I thought they were so interesting. They show the man's brain going crazy, the visual cortex, the amygdala, and then the appetite centers just going nuts. The women, they report arousal, they sort of get a little bit of activity, and then nothing. So arousal doesn't trigger drive in women, see?

4:35 Adam Drive is appetite?

4:36 Drew Yeah. There's no desire. They just get arousal, and oh, isn't that interesting.

4:41 Adam And when you say appetite, I know you don't mean being hungry, but is it the same part?

4:47 Drew Same part of the brain.

4:48 Adam Works to hunger?

4:49 Drew Yes, yes, same area.

4:50 Adam So is it the same part of your brain that says, I need something to drink, I need something to eat, I need a cigarette, I need some booze, I need to gamble? Is it that I need part of your brain?

5:06 Drew Yes, the simple answer is yes. Specifically, the thirst and hunger part is more specifically than the booze and cigarette part, but this, it's all kind of tied together.

5:17 Adam So in the male brain, it's just, I see that, I want that, I need that.

5:21 Drew I see that, it arouses me, my freaking visual cortex light up, and then I must have. Women, little visual activity, little bit of, ooh, it's arousing, and then nothing.

5:32 Adam Yeah, that's what I get. I come in during the nothing part. And then what about, I call them flatliners. Well, no, let me ask something, Drew. What if a guy, and I'm not talking about one of my gay buddies, but I'm talking about a good, straight American man sees himself, sees like a Ferrari or a Lamborghini, Murcia Lago, what will that do to his brain?

5:54 Drew Well, interesting you would ask, that's the kind of stuff I want to do tomorrow. I want to see if we, I want, for instance, where we're going to put a couple in the MRM machine, I want the husband to start telling the woman he loves her, he's going to buy her jewelry and see what her brain does. And then have her do that to him.

6:08 Adam Yeah, but, well, yeah, you get nothing there, but. But what, so are you going to show a guy a picture of a $200,000 sports car?

6:18 Drew That's one of the things I wanted. I'm going to go on the scanner, too. They're going to show my passion.

6:24 Adam You see, there's going to be a hamster on a wheel, squeaking.

6:30 Drew But running fast.

6:31 Adam Running fast. And then you see the Lamborghini's just running faster. Then it starts slowing down. And you see the Ford Taurus. And how do you physically do it? Do you just show them a picture?

6:44 Drew You know, I haven't seen the apparatus yet. I'm interested to see that. Yes, somehow they're showing a picture while they're in the scanner. And then they report how arousing it was or not, you know. So they give their subjective experience to. It's interesting.

6:56 Adam Yeah, but I mean, they can say what they want. The brain will tell the truth.

7:00 Drew The brain tells the story of really what's going on.

7:02 Adam And can your... of course you can lie, but can the centers light up for hunger and passion and whatever? And you say, no, not my cup of tea. And can you mean it?

7:19 Drew I suspect the answer is yes. I suspect that answer is yes.

7:22 Adam How does that work? I don't know.

7:25 Drew I've never seen any kind of research like that, so I don't know if that's possible. It makes sense to me. Because people disconnect from their emotional centers all the time in various ways. They're just not aware of their bodies. They're not aware of drives. They're just sort of like, huh? Well, you know, we talk to them all the time.

7:40 Adam Yeah, OJ thinks he's innocent. Right. Did you just have a way of just sort of suppressing things and pushing things away, right?

7:46 Drew Exactly.

7:47 Adam Well, what about this, Drew? And would you talk to these poindexers about my idea?

7:52 Drew Which one?

7:53 Adam I'll tell you.

7:53 Drew You have lots of good ones.

7:54 Adam I'm listening. I know. I know. And they all come to fruition. They absolutely do.

7:58 Drew OK.

7:59 Adam And you know what? I got a couple of plans. One is, you know how we're like Leonardo da Vinci envisioned a helicopter 500 years before the first helicopter flew? And, you know, and he's a genius.

8:12 Drew Yeah. I'm going to publish all your stuff posthumously. Yeah.

8:15 Adam No, no. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to make a huge punch list of things. One day, man will travel, will have his own individual pods and travel to the through the solar system. And then if any of them come true, I get to be a genius.

8:29 Drew Yeah. Perfect.

8:30 Adam Yeah. Like, OK, da Vinci, here's the genius. Go make one. You you whop. Go make one. You can't just say one day man will fly. Well, OK, I heard pictures of him.

8:42 Drew He drew pictures of stuff and he made models of it.

8:44 Adam Yeah, I know. But all right. Listen, man will be able to transport himself by breaking down some molecules and then reassembling them across the country or across the world. OK, then if it happens in 300 years, I get to be the genius, not the guy who invents it.

8:58 Drew Just if you draw the picture.

9:00 Adam I'm going to draw a picture right now of a box and then a line going to another box and a guy disappearing and ending up in the other box.

9:07 Drew Hey, speaking of saying, pictures and say I'm going to sign this. Hold on.

9:10 Adam I'm not done.

9:11 Drew I heard Howard Stern went nuts this morning on us for some reason. You hear about this? Yeah, I think it went on me.

9:19 Adam I already want nuts on you for something.

9:21 Drew I don't think I said it doesn't register true for me.

9:25 Adam Whatever, buddy.

9:26 Drew Whatever, dude.

9:27 Adam I don't know what he I don't know what you said. It doesn't take too much to get Howard to go.

9:31 Drew Yeah, I guess.

9:32 Adam But I'm just glad he kept me out of it. Although, any press is good press, Drew.

9:38 Drew Of course.

9:39 Adam Biggest audience you ever had.

9:41 Drew That's probably true.

9:42 Adam And then and secondly, let me tell you, let me tell you how passionate a man I am. My buddy Daniel called me today about, I don't know, 10 in the morning. He's like, did you hear Howard Stern? And I said, no. Oh, he went nuts on Drew. I mean, he did a solid 10 minutes just going ape ass on Drew. He just dismantled them. I never heard anything like it. And I said, wow, that's something. And he said, could you, you think you could get the tape of that? And I was like, yeah, probably could. And he said, are you going to get the tape? And I said, no, no, no, no, no, no.

10:23 Drew I'm curious what apparently somebody emailed him something they'd alleged that I wrote or read or something. And it doesn't even, it just doesn't ring true. I don't know what I would have said about him. I support his FCC stuff. You know what I mean?

10:35 Adam I think God bless him.

10:37 Drew No, no, no, seriously. If I mean, I think that there are issues with, you know, I worry about the kind of stuff that goes on. Maybe what I said something.

10:45 Adam You're getting in trouble again, buddy.

10:47 Drew Really? By just saying, yeah, I worry about stuff that goes out in the air, but God bless Howard for standing up, you know?

10:52 Adam Well, let me just say this, Howard, it's the ace man. Remember we had dinner in New York that time? That's awesome. I love you, buddy. And that guy, that's Drew. That's Drew talking. And I, you know, I can't control him. You know what I mean? I can no sooner control Drew than than Siegfried could control Montecore. That's all I'm saying. So so how if you hear me, this the ace man and he loves you and he'd love to come on the show next time he's in New York. All right, Drew, I don't know what went on.

11:24 Drew I don't know either. It's bizarre.

11:26 Adam A couple of people told me went nuts on you and really you should be flattered.

11:30 Drew I'm sorry. I appreciate it. Especially with something I don't mean. You know what I mean?

11:35 Adam Look, stop backpedaling.

11:37 Drew No, no. Adam, if I had something, some issue, have I ever said I have an issue with him or?

11:42 Adam No. No. No. But anyway. Anyway, I don't want to get lumped in with you. That's all right. That's fine.

11:50 Drew I'll stand by my side.

11:51 Adam He's a powerful man. All right. Here's what I want you to ask the eggheads over there at the university who are doing the PET scans or the CAT scans or the functional MRIs. What I would like is an answer or I would like them to get going on my lie detector.

12:11 Drew OK.

12:11 Adam All right.

12:12 Drew That's a great idea.

12:13 Adam Everybody could be better than my tac crows. Everyone listen up. Think about the court system. Think about the jurors. Think about bailiffs. Think about stenographers. And think about the court appointed attorneys and the millions and millions of just the facilities alone. Every city in the country needing a handful of these large noble regal buildings and all that. Then think about the batting average of the court system. Really? I mean, it's like we we we've decided it's the best system there is. Yeah, it's like it's the best system. But amongst other systems where they kill you with a rock, right? You know what I mean?

12:58 Drew Compared to the best system, except for all the other ones.

13:02 Adam It's the best. It's well, it's the best system in the world. But that's not saying that much.

13:06 Drew Right, right.

13:07 Adam You know what I'm saying?

13:08 Drew Right. We need to let technology bring it along.

13:11 Adam Well, I'm just saying they had referees in the NFL and they still do have referees, but now they use instant replay and we can tell beyond a shadow of a doubt whether somebody's foot was in bounds or out of bounds.

13:24 Drew Right.

13:24 Adam There's no more human error. And basically the court system as exists now, which is, look, if you can afford the dream team, you're probably going to get out of there. Let's face it. If you've got a ton of money, you're out of it. If you're some black dude from Mississippi, that gets courted, some racist court-appointed attorney, you may be going in the joint for something you didn't do. So first off, let's not say the system we have now is not flawed. You probably got about a 65% chance of it coming out all right, but that translates into quite a few people going into the joint without being represented correctly. I want to say that we need a lie detector and a lie detector. That works. And you know what? It doesn't have to work 100% of the time. It worked 96% of the time. And that's still 30% better than it's working now, if you think about it. And we get into this thing as Americans, we're like, yes, but if only one man goes to prison, if one innocent man goes to prison, then none of it is worth it. Really? One innocent guy out of the millions that go through the system efficiently? That's a decent batting average.

14:36 Drew And by the way, I think the way things are now, people are probably more likely to go through innocent than guilty, you know what I mean? Oh, look, they could protect the innocent.

14:45 Adam A few years ago, the mayor of Illinois or something, or the governor of Illinois had to pardon everyone on death row, because it turned out that three-quarters of them were innocent.

14:56 Drew Right.

14:57 Adam I mean, and the ACLU poisees who would be the first ones who would be against this, should love it. It's all your buddies that are going in the joint.

15:06 Drew Right.

15:07 Adam All the poor, all the ethnicities, all the underrepresented, those are the people that are suffering. This evens the playing field out for the rich doctor and the inner city guy who has no money. Yep. I just say we have the PET scans, we have the functional MRIs, we have the CAT scans, we have crazy computer-driven technology. This is an area that has exploded over the last few years.

15:33 Drew I have a great idea. Why don't you draw a picture of a guy with like a Gilligan's Island-type electronic hat on with wires coming off it.

15:40 Adam I'm doing it. Here's what it's going to look like. A spaghetti colander with spark plugs sticking out of it, wires connecting it.

15:46 Drew Perfect. And you'll be declared a genius in 100 years when that's the method of judicial review.

15:53 Adam Judicial review helmet. You see that? Yep. One size fits all because the band is adjustable on the inside. We make one for huge afros too. It's going to be a little bit larger. All right. That's my point. Seriously, Drew, ask them about this. I will. And you'll probably get angry when they give you the answer, which is, put it this way, out of a thousand people, two of them, it'll misfire on. And even those two people, it's not necessarily going to be wrong with. Yep. All right. And then just think about the system. Hey, Mr. Simpson, we got caused to believe. Hey, hook yourself right on up. Oh, turns out. Okay. See ya. Bye bye. Blake, whoever, whoever did something, pow, just get on, hop out.

16:42 Drew And by the way, whoever didn't do something, hop in.

16:45 Adam Hop in. I mean, you who were, you know, drunk and passed out alone in your apartment and you have no alibi and some white old lady said, placed you at the scene of the crime, you should be diving on top of this device, right? Yes.

16:59 Drew Yes.

17:00 Adam You should be like, hurry, get, strap me into this thing for the strap me into the chair.

17:04 Drew Yeah.

17:04 Adam Right.

17:05 Drew Yep.

17:06 Adam All right.

17:07 Drew Okay.

17:07 Adam And then, and then it's all gone. All the circus is all gone. The media, the millions and billions of dollars spent, all that, it's all gone. It's all gone. Just every town has one. That's it. We do some protocol where if you're guilty and it's a capital offense, you got to go through three times and whatever. Boom. Done. Yes?

17:28 Drew Yes.

17:29 Adam All right. Talk to them about it, Drew. Please.

17:31 Drew I will.

17:31 Adam All right. I want to speak to Alexis, 27. Alexis?

17:35 Yes.

17:36 Adam What's up?

17:38 I've just got a question. I've been with my boyfriend for six years and we've got two kids together, but when I go to give him head, once he gets to that pre-ejaculation stage, it makes me gag and I have to stop.

17:58 Adam Because I think I'm always in the pre-ejaculation stage or I'm ejaculating. Are we all? Drew, where are you right now? I'm in pre right now. Now post. Wow, that was quick. What is the pre-ejaculation stage and how do we get there?

18:18 Drew What does that mean? Is there something coming out you mean?

18:22 Yeah.

18:23 Drew So a little bit of stuff comes out and you vomit?

18:25 Yeah.

18:27 Drew What if a lot of stuff comes out?

18:29 Oh, I would still gag or I'd probably throw up. It just depends.

18:32 Drew Then you'd vomit. So what is your question for us?

18:36 Well, I just want to know what I can do to help me try to go a lot longer without gagging.

18:44 Drew Put a condom on. No one likes that one, but that's what you can do. Otherwise, that's going to come out every time.

18:52 Adam Yeah. How long does it take before he starts frothing?

18:59 It depends on how much of a mood he's in. On an average, it's about 20 to 30 minutes.

19:05 Drew 30 minutes? Well, she's putting in a little bit of a yeoman's effort there.

19:11 Adam You're giving him oral sex for 30 minutes before anything starts dripping out of him?

19:16 Yeah.

19:18 Drew You need to find some way to shorten that period.

19:20 Adam He needs to find some way to shorten that period. Yeah. He's got to start focusing. And I don't understand, though. Is this not satisfying for him? Or how does it work? I mean, does he want to reach orgasm this way, or do you guys want to have sex?

19:38 Well, I want to have sex, but he won't because he's afraid he'll get me pregnant again, even though I'm on birth control.

19:46 Adam Oh, I'd like to hook this guy up to my lie detector. What an a-hole. That's awesome. Like, yeah, we got two kids and I'm on the pill, but sorry, baby, start sucking. No, hey, listen.

19:59 Drew I'm afraid to have sex, I'm afraid.

20:00 Adam I would love to rock your world all night long, but we can't chance it, not on my salary. Start sucking. Watch out, I can't see the TV. There we go.

20:09 Drew Could wear a condom. He could wear a condom, right?

20:13 Adam With the intercourse?

20:14 Drew Yes.

20:15 Adam Yeah. This is not a man of passion like you, Drew.

20:17 Drew No. This guy, I don't know if we could hang.

20:21 Adam He would have nothing to talk about.

20:23 Drew I know.

20:24 Adam Yeah.

20:24 Drew This disconnect.

20:26 Adam Yeah. Alexis?

20:27 Yes.

20:29 Adam What does he do for you to give you pleasure?

20:32 He goes down orally.

20:36 Drew Does that do the trick for you? Oh, interesting. Does that do the trick for you?

20:39 Sometimes.

20:41 Not all the time.

20:42 Adam Do you want sex?

20:44 Yeah.

20:45 Adam And he won't give it to you?

20:47 No.

20:48 Drew Well, that's...

20:49 Adam And you're on the pill.

20:51 Yeah.

20:51 Well, I'm actually on the patch.

20:54 Drew Okay. This is a bigger issue than the oral sex thing. He needs to do what's right. Come on.

20:58 Adam You need to have a talk with him.

21:00 Drew And by the way, if you have sex for a while, then you can finish him off with the oral sex and he'll be a shorter period of time. It won't be 20, 30 minutes. I mean, you're going to hurt your jaw with that.

21:11 Adam Yeah. Is something else going on with him?

21:15 Um, no. He just says he doesn't want me to get pregnant again because we've got one boy, one girl, and they're close in age, and he's been having kids.

21:27 Drew Yeah. You've told us this already. That's a non-excuse.

21:30 Adam It's not an answer. Yeah. You're on the patch, you're on birth control, so you're not going to get pregnant.

21:38 Drew And he can throw a condom on and put that risk down to zero at that point.

21:42 Yeah. And I've told him that and he still says no.

21:45 Drew Well, then no oral sex. Very simple. Yeah. He doesn't want to go, you know, what do you need? You're not willing to help him. Very simple. He's got to go both ways. All right. Where are we going here? I don't know. It's a gamble against the curtains.

21:57 Adam I know, but it's like chimps got married or something. Are they adults? You know what I mean? Don't they talk? Where do everyone's? You know, it's weird. I know people's verbal skills have seemed to deteriorated. It seemed to have deteriorated over the years. But it's now the point where people can't make an argument anymore. Our logic has somehow been sucked out of every conversation.

22:22 Drew Well, there's no listening. They don't understand what you're asking.

22:25 Adam I know. I mean, we sit here every night and it's like, what does he do for a living? Works.

22:31 Drew You missed a step. What does he do for a living? What does he do for a living? Yes. What does he do for a living? Works.

22:39 Adam Huh?

22:41 Drew Yeah.

22:42 Adam I don't even... It's really... It's what kids do. It's how kids argue. You know, it's like, now why did you steal that from Timmy? Because... Really? Isn't it sort of the adult version of because?

22:55 Drew Absolutely.

22:56 Adam All right.

22:57 Drew Yeah.

22:58 Adam Adriana?

22:59 Yeah.

23:00 Adam You're 17?

23:01 Caller Yeah.

23:02 Adam What's up?

23:03 Caller Okay. I was, like, I'm seriously, like, in love with my gay friend, Carolla.

23:12 Drew Gay friend?

23:14 Caller Yeah.

23:15 Adam That's a damn lie, and you know it! Did he have to use his name?

23:20 Caller Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear.

23:22 Adam He's probably getting his ass kicked right now. A bunch of chocks from the football team are beating on him. All right. You're in love with your gay friend.

23:31 Drew That happens. That's, again, that need to be in love with the unattainable and to try to change somebody that can't be changed. You better hope you don't, he doesn't sort of go down a romantic path with you because that's not going to be real. He's gay.

23:46 Adam How old is he?

23:47 Drew He's 16. And you're how old?

23:50 Adam 17.

23:51 Drew Alright, you need to start dating. You really need to distract yourself.

23:55 Adam You gotta get out there.

23:56 Drew This is not right.

23:58 Caller I've tried dating normal straight guys, and they've all been like, I don't know, they're all like jerks, and they're like, I wanna love you baby, blah blah blah, but I don't know, they're just stupid.

24:11 Drew We agree.

24:12 Adam Hold on, take back everything I said about the verbal skills breaking down.

24:17 Drew Blah blah blah.

24:18 Adam And it's stupid. I love you baby. Blah blah blah is stupid. All right. Well listen, Adriana, what's up with you? Where's your dad? What's going on?

24:33 Caller My dad lives in Mexico. I've never seen him.

24:36 Drew There you go.

24:37 Adam That's bad. At least he's being punished. Yeah.

24:41 Caller And so that's home.

24:44 Adam You live in a group. Yeah. By the way, just hearing Adriana's voice, I pictured a lot of black fingernail polish.

24:50 Caller Yeah, I don't. I don't wear black fingernail polish at all. I don't wear fingernail polish at all.

24:56 Drew But you did wear it at one time.

24:58 Caller Actually, I never did.

25:00 Adam Mm hmm. How about black in general?

25:04 Caller Um, no, never did.

25:06 Adam Not goth at all?

25:08 Caller No, never did.

25:09 Drew All right.

25:10 Adam What do you dress like, by the way?

25:12 Caller Um, normal.

25:15 Okay.

25:16 Adam So you're in a group home. Yeah, normal.

25:22 Drew Okay, got it.

25:24 Adam Yeah. Oh, yeah. What do you dress like? Normal. Oh, man. What a vivid, vivid picture. Just close your eyes. Can't you see her now? And then normal dress. I mean, or pants or blouse or jacket.

25:37 Drew T-shirt.

25:38 Adam Or T-shirt or shorts. Whatever normal is. Yeah. Oh, man. Vivid. Vivid, Adriana.

25:46 Caller I wear a lot of pink.

25:48 Adam A lot of pink?

25:49 Drew There you go. We wouldn't have predicted that. Where's, where's...

25:51 Caller It's more detailed for you. I wear a lot of pink and...

25:54 Drew Why did you end up in a group home? Where's your mom?

25:57 Caller My mom, she used to beat me a lot.

26:02 Drew All right, so for you, relationships are gonna be scary. You're gonna find, you're gonna be attracted to abusive people or you're gonna be attracted to unavailable people. And you found yourself an unavailable one in a way that's safer than probably the other things you have.

26:14 Adam Yeah, I'm glad you're not being passed around by some bikers. Hey, Adriana.

26:21 Drew Just be realistic about this. Fine, hang out with the guy. He's a better version of the male. We agree with you, yes.

26:26 Adam Just take care of yourself. Figure out what you wanna do and do it and don't get pregnant.

26:31 Caller Oh, I've already been down a path and it's not good.

26:36 Adam Oh, really? Okay.

26:38 Drew I didn't know what the pregnancy path was. Well, I guess you could abort it.

26:41 Caller Well, I had a miscarriage.

26:43 Drew Miscarriage, okay.

26:44 Adam Shocking, but okay. Do not do it again, please, sweetie. You'll be all right. You just find yourself a job and fight to keep it.

26:53 Caller I don't have a job. I work at Roundtable.

26:56 Adam Oh, you work at Roundtable? All right, all right.

26:59 Drew Good times.

27:00 Adam I could make, I don't even know if I've ever had one of their pizza pies. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Drew's in Atlanta, and we'll be right back after this. Yeah, buddy, it's Love Line. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E, 191, Thursday night, on Written Law in the studio. You know what I was thinking about today, Drew?

27:39 Drew What's that?

27:40 Adam Talked about it before, but it's been a number of years. My nephew, not my sister's kid, but my wife's sister's kid, got a fractured hip.

27:54 Drew Oh my God.

27:55 Adam Hit with a hockey puck. Oh, kid's like 16 years old. Anyway, I think he's going to be OK. But he can't sleep because he's in pain and he sleeps on his side or on his stomach. And of course, the hips effed up and he's got to be on his back. Yeah. And, you know, you're on your back a lot in this society. The world is built for people to sleep on their back, whether you're right, you know, you take a plane, the seat reclines, you sleep on your back, you're in great shape, you sleep on your front, you're after like I am. And so it's like, if you sleep on your back, it's good for if you essentially can doze off in the upright or sitting position, a long bus ride, a plane ride, a boring board meeting, a long movie, whatever it is, doze right on. Now, if you sleep on your front, and then especially if you sleep on your face in this sort of cockeyed position I do where my hands are actually underneath my head being used as sort of a pillow. If you do that, then you get in the plane seat, you recline the plane seat, and then you proceed to try to twist over. But of course, you're being bent backwards. Essentially, if you want to sleep, you can do it, but from LA to New York, you're going to be in the down dog position. It's like some sort of retarded yoga, lotus position, and you're going to wake up in worse shape than you were. It's actually worse because the only thing worse than actually not sleeping is trying to sleep and tossing and turning all over the place, and you got your face mashed up against the window and stuff, and you're trying to tuck your hand, and you're using your jacket as a pillow under your head. Meanwhile, the guys who sleep on their backs are sawing logs all the way across the ocean. And I just look at them, and I think, you're going 600 miles an hour, you're 30,000 feet in the air, but you might as well just be home in your bed, because that's where you are right now. You're just leaning back, you're going to bed. And I thought, and it's better for your back, it's better for everything, it's better for your skin. Like I'll get a zit or something, or ingrown hair or something on my face or my cheek, because I sleep with my face mashed up against, and then of course, the drool.

30:13 Drew No, it's because of your hands, your hands are mashed up against your face, all that stuff on your hands gets on your face.

30:18 Adam God knows, the oral fecal route has never been wider open.

30:21 Drew Oh yes.

30:23 Adam And then secondly, then there's the drool factor. I will slobber on my pillow facing, you know. And then, now if anything happens, like oh I threw my back out or I hurt my neck or something, now you're in for the worst night of your life.

30:37 Drew You're just not sleeping.

30:38 Adam You're just not sleeping. And then God forbid something happens where you have to go into the hospital for a few days. You're just screwed. It's like listen, just dart me like a rhino. Otherwise, I'm going to be lying here staring at the ceiling all night. So I thought what an advantage sleeping on your back is. What a huge thing. And I thought two things. One is I swear to Christ, you get hold of your kids, flip them over, Drew. Go into the room every night and just flip them over. You could turn them over. You could turn them over and flip them over and work them. And my buddy Chris, he was a belly sleeper until he beat up somebody on Pacific Coast Highway and the guy ran him over in his Volkswagen.

31:21 Drew He ran him over three times, right?

31:23 Adam Well, he ran him over enough to have some internal bleeding and stuff and a fractured arm and stuff. And he had to go to the hospital and stay in the hospital for like two weeks and it converted him over to his back.

31:33 Drew Wow.

31:34 Adam Well, because if you think about it, you take a 19-year-old guy and you put him on his back for two weeks, he's converted. Yeah. Why should it be any different than, you know, quitting smoking?

31:45 Caller Right, right, right.

31:46 Adam You know what I mean? It's like the first couple of the first couple of days are the hardest, right?

31:50 Caller Yep. Yep.

31:50 Adam Yep. Then you're converted. The younger, the better.

31:53 Drew Yep. You're right.

31:54 Adam I would like to start a sleep center where I flip people over.

31:59 Drew Yeah. Learn, learn, learn to sleep in the position that you will need your whole life. You know what I mean?

32:04 Adam Yes. Learn to sleep in the position that the man has forced you to get in, in almost every situation. I don't care if you're on a subway, a bus or an airplane, you'll be on your back. Folks, if you sleep on your back and you're flying to Singapore, pop a Xanax and let the good times roll. Now, I do, I start a facility where I'll flip you. I'll flip you. And the first thing we got to do is we got to, and this is why I'm talking to you, Drew, because I need a physician. People aren't going to do it. I'm going to have to drug them up pretty good.

32:35 Drew I see.

32:35 Adam They're going to have a lot of muscle relaxing. They're going to be like the rag dolls. Yeah. And then I'm just going to start flipping them. And I'm going to get a bed that actually starts to pivot and turn over. So they just get a big spatula, flips them over. But after, you know, 10 days, they're on their back. And that's it for the rest of their life. No back problems, no slobber on the pillow, sleeping. And I predict you will take flights just to sleep. You may not even have to travel. You'll just go get on a plane.

33:06 Drew Draw it. You'll be a genius. You'll be a genius. 100 years, you'll be a genius.

33:11 Adam Chris, you see this? I'm drawing a stick figure on his stomach. And I'm drawing the same guy now on his back with an arrow. Okay? All right? Yeah. All right. You're a witness, right? Yes. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to send this to myself. So it's dated. It's got a postmark on it. All right. Let's talk to...

33:32 Drew I have a quick thing first. Again, for the My Television program, I'm looking to talk to couples who have a fear of having pregnancy while... excuse me, a fear of having sex while pregnant. We talk to those people on Loveline all the time where the guys are fearful of screwing the kid up or the women feel ugly. We want to put the talk to that couple on television.

33:47 Adam So we talked to him. We talked to that guy last night.

33:49 Drew I know. It's interesting.

33:50 Adam Yeah.

33:50 Drew We talked to them all the time. Now, of course, no one will call.

33:53 Adam No way. Lacey?

33:54 Yeah.

33:55 Adam You're 12?

33:56 Caller Yep.

33:57 Adam Do you sleep on your back, Kitten?

33:59 Caller Maybe.

34:00 Caller Yeah.

34:03 Adam Talk about not getting answers on this show.

34:05 Caller I can actually sleep on my belly or on my back. I've actually fallen asleep once where I had my elbows on the ground. I had my face propped up.

34:15 Adam Well, really, under your hands.

34:17 Drew I think I can hear her talk about anything. It's just a delight in her voice. Just read the dictionary to us. Go ahead.

34:25 Caller I'm very sociable.

34:30 Adam What's up, Lacey?

34:30 Drew In fact, it's a verbal expression issue you're bringing up.

34:32 Adam Well, she's 12.

34:33 Drew Give her a break. My daughter is 12. Oh, my God.

34:39 Adam What's the problem?

34:40 Drew Oh, my God. This is going to freak me out, whatever it is.

34:44 Adam Because your daughter could be calling the show?

34:46 Drew Or one of her friends or something. Oh, my God.

34:48 Adam Lacey?

34:49 Drew The Humanity.

34:50 Caller Yeah.

34:50 Adam Well, I'll tell you how you know it's not one of your daughter or one of her friends because ice skating has not come up yet. And we're a whole minute and 11 seconds into the call. Go ahead, Lacey. What's your question?

35:03 Caller There's a guy in my class and I like him and everything. Like, I want him to actually like me, like me.

35:21 Adam Now it says, it says here you had.

35:23 Drew I'm just drifting off.

35:24 Adam It says here you had brain cancer.

35:26 Caller Brain tumor on my optic nerve five and a half years.

35:29 Adam Five and a half years.

35:31 Drew Did you have a craniofringioma or something?

35:33 Caller No.

35:34 Drew What was it?

35:35 Caller A benign brain tumor.

35:38 Drew What kind?

35:39 Caller I have no clue.

35:40 Drew Was it like a pituitary tumor?

35:42 Caller I have no clue.

35:43 Drew Okay, it must have been a pituitary.

35:45 Adam Did they get it with a gamma knife?

35:46 Caller I actually went down to Cedars-Sinai.

35:49 Drew What did they do? Did they operate or did they just put you on medication?

35:55 Caller I had brain surgery. My brother's making me laugh really hard.

35:59 Drew Did they go through sort of your lip to get up to it?

36:02 Caller No, they actually cut a scar from the bottom of my ear up to my head, up to the top of my head, and pulled my whole face forward. I have a picture of my three-day black and blue eye.

36:20 Wow.

36:21 Drew Okay, do you want to get the attention of a guy that is he a friend of yours?

36:25 Adam So what, did they get it?

36:27 Caller Yeah, he knows that I like him, I mean.

36:30 Drew They should have swept the small stuff.

36:31 Adam They get the tumor, everything's okay?

36:33 Caller Yeah, six years out, no sign of returning.

36:36 Drew Was it an arachnoid cyst? Does that sound familiar? That's kind of a weird location for an arachnoid cyst.

36:41 Caller No clue, it was on the optic nerve.

36:43 Adam All right, so, and they check you every once in a while, see if it's coming back? MRI. MRI, BFD. All right, so what's up?

36:52 Caller They're so fun, you'll have fun tomorrow, don't worry.

36:55 Drew Can't wait.

36:58 Adam Yeah, listen, I had one of those MRIs, like you put your head in a trash can and some guy beats it with a wooden spoon for 40 minutes. It's horrible.

37:06 Caller Not too bad.

37:07 Drew No, I didn't like it. Do you think this guy likes you, or is he a friend of yours?

37:11 Caller He's actually one of my friends, the guy that sits next to me, it's his best friend.

37:16 Drew Can you talk to him or send a message through the guy that sits next to you?

37:20 Caller I'm actually comfortable talking to him and his friend. So.

37:24 Drew All right, well, let's just, you know, sort of-

37:26 Adam Well, here's what I understand, Lacey, you're very outgoing, and you're not scared to present yourself to people and have a conversation with people. Yeah. Maybe you should talk to him about, you know, how you feel about him.

37:40 Caller Yeah, because he doesn't like other girls in class because I've called him and I've had like my cousin three-way and like, asked him.

37:47 Caller Mm-hmm.

37:48 Adam Later, a couple more years, that three-way will mean something else.

37:54 Caller Trust me, I know what you mean.

37:55 Drew No, trust me. I'm- Oh, no.

37:58 Adam Easy, baby. Easy now.

38:00 Drew No, no, come on. I'm losing it.

38:03 Adam All right, Drew.

38:04 Drew Here's the deal.

38:04 Adam A 12-year-old is shrieking.

38:06 Drew Here's the deal. It's okay to talk. What does it mean when you have a boyfriend 12 years old anyway? It just sort of means you kind of hang out.

38:13 Adam Now?

38:13 Drew Hey, relax. Easy. All right. Oh my God.

38:17 Caller I believe my ex that just dumped me because he has to go down to Hollywood for like five months for acting. We like would go to the movies. I went to his house.

38:27 Drew Right, right, right, right. So maybe you should ask him out to hang out like that. Yeah, I think that's enough for me.

38:33 Adam I know. He went to Hollywood to act, huh?

38:37 Drew I know.

38:38 Caller My ex, yeah.

38:39 Adam Your ex. I don't know. I can't even imagine calling it an ex at age 12. What are you in? Are you in the sixth grade? Yeah. All right. So here's the thing, Lacey. Let's be realistic about this whole thing. The guy knows you. He's seen you.

38:56 Caller He's spoken to me because my friend, his friend sits right next to me.

39:00 Adam Right.

39:01 Caller Always looking at me.

39:03 Adam Right. But that's like saying he's always looking at me because there's a seagull on my head.

39:09 Drew Right.

39:10 Adam Do you know what I mean? It's like that doesn't help you any. He's always looking at you. Yeah. Because his buddy's right next to you.

39:16 Drew And you're always staring at him.

39:18 Adam And you're staring at him. But he's well aware of you and it's not, and doesn't seem to be interested. Is that correct?

39:25 Drew Yeah. Okay. But at 12 you never know. I mean, it's not 12 year olds just are not in the girls. They just aren't.

39:31 Adam Well, but he seems to be chasing some of the other girls that are in the class around.

39:34 Drew Yeah, but maybe they're chasing him.

39:36 Caller No, I've actually talked to him about it.

39:40 Drew All right. Yeah, go ahead.

39:43 Adam Yeah.

39:43 Drew I would either just AA let it go.

39:45 Adam Wait a minute. What did he say when you talked to him about it?

39:49 Caller He, cause my cousin called and she's all like, she's weird. She wears glasses and she has red hair. Eww.

39:59 Adam Well, listen, Lacey, one day you're going to find a lovable nerd who will give you the kind of love that you deserve. Yeah, this guy is giving it.

40:12 Drew Yeah, he's giving sort of a no, don't push it. Do not push it. It's okay to have a crush at a distance. Don't get obsessed about it. Just move on.

40:21 Adam And Lacey, here's the thing. This may be the first time this has happened to you. It happens to everybody multiple times. It really does.

40:30 Drew Yeah, Adam, think of what you wish somebody had told you when you were 12 about these kinds of things. That's what we got to tell her, which is what you're telling her.

40:38 Adam Yeah, here's the deal, everybody. You will find people that are uninterested in you and everyone will have the people that you are the most attracted to, who you see on TV could tell you, could sit you down for five hours and tell you all the people who weren't interested in them.

40:59 Drew Right.

41:00 Adam Or who were temporarily and then screwed them over or what have you. It happens to everybody. And you know what? It's actually a good thing because it's one of these things. And there's not too many of these things, but it's one of these things where as an as a human being you it's almost necessary.

41:21 Drew Yeah, you're right.

41:21 Adam It's almost important that there's some failure at this part at this level in these interactions. Yes, you're right. It makes you a better, more well-rounded, more complete human being. Show me a person that's never stumbled and fall in this arena. I'll show you someone I don't want to hang out with.

41:40 Drew That's absolutely right. I'm with you.

41:42 Adam And someone who makes me sick, son of a bitch.

41:47 Drew You hang out with your friend, Chris, still.

41:48 Adam Yeah, my buddy Chris, yeah. Well, at least he lets me smell him down there. Oh, my God. I'm just, I'm being honest, though.

41:56 Drew Take a break.

41:56 Adam I'm being honest. That's all I can be. All right, Lacey, it's as I suspected. This guy's not interested. Do not, don't watch all those Disney movies that makes you think you can flip this guy over by putting on new perfume or somehow he's going to look at you in all these movies. It's somehow, oh, he's ignoring you. He's going after the head cheerleader. And by the end of the 90 minutes, he's realized he's in love with you all the entire time. Doesn't happen.

42:24 Drew Doesn't happen. The only flipping over that occurs at the Corolla Sleep Centers. Otherwise, that's it.

42:29 Adam That's right. Now, it does happen in 33 years when his, you know, when he starts, when his waistline gets like eight inches bigger than, you know, when he starts wearing the 44 33 Levi's and his testosterone level drops by 80 percent. Yeah, he starts getting mammaries and high circulating estrogen and his hair falls out. Then he's India. Unless he makes some money and then he's not again. We'll take a quick break. Sorry, it's true. Take a quick break. Be right back after this.

43:00 Hello, this is your radio. Love Live will be ready.

43:26 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew coughing in Atlanta. It's all right, phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Drew, I just learned, I didn't know this. We talked to that gentleman who generously pledged $15,000 toward the Tsunami Relief Fund in exchange. He was gonna come in and hang out, be a guest here on Loveline. Somebody else matched his bid.

43:53 Drew That's what I heard. There's gonna be a second $15,000 visitor. Are we gonna talk to that person?

44:02 Adam His name is Dave and he's from Seattle and that's about as much as I know. And I don't know where I was when the second guy was announced, but I didn't hear anything.

44:09 Drew I see an astrophysicist too.

44:12 Adam I don't know. He's gotta have something going. And now what about you, Drew? Have you made a contribution yet?

44:19 Drew Not made a contribution yet. Not true.

44:22 Adam Remember, think about what a nice guy everyone thinks you are.

44:26 Drew Yeah. If you want to get into it, I've thought it all through. And A, here's my problem with it. You don't know where the money's going. B, I give a ton to organizations that I support every day, like Hillside Home for Children, things like that. I'd rather take that money and give it to them, just whatever I pledge to send them. And I don't want it going away from the people I do support every year. You know what I mean? I have real misgivings about it. And I'm hearing that this money is being sort of funneled all over the place, and that they don't want it, and it becomes just a PR ploy for people. I'd rather take the money, give it to the people that I support all year long. Which is what I plan to do.

45:02 Adam Okay, Drew. Let me tell you the fundamental problem with that logic. One is, you are out of the studio the night you would have had to give. You see, you were out of the night Huba Stank was in here and Simple Plan or whoever was in, Lincoln Park was in here, Twist in the Arm. So you, ironically, were getting paid somewhere the night you would have been in here parting with dollars. Number one. Number two, the whole idea with these kinds of things like these, you know, once every 500 year type disasters that pop up, you're supposed to give to your normal charities and then give a little extra to these folks because it happens every 500 years.

45:47 Drew I agree. And I'm actually was talking to a guy tonight about trying to figure out a way to go over there and sort of give services and that kind of thing. I got something like that I want to do. I don't know if that would work or how you do it, but something like that. Interesting.

46:07 Adam Let's see. Jeremy over here. Now, MJ, upset about her dad's 22-year-old girlfriend. And approach him. She's offended. Let's see. MJ?

46:20 Caller Yeah.

46:21 Adam 23?

46:22 Yes.

46:23 Adam Your dad is a 22-year-old girlfriend?

46:26 Yeah. He's 55.

46:28 Adam Is she hot?

46:29 You know, she's not bad. I mean, I'll admit to that. She's not a bad-looking gal.

46:36 Drew Is she nutty?

46:37 Um, well, she's kind of, I don't know, she reminds me kind of trailer trash.

46:43 Drew My consistent feeling is if somebody in their 20s were wanting to have a relationship with somebody my age or older, there's something wrong with them. There's something wrong with them.

46:51 And I don't ever, I mean, I don't talk to her very much, so I don't know.

46:54 Caller Liar, liar whore, liar whore, and you know it.

46:56 Adam Hold on a second, MJ, because we have to take a break, but people have relationships for different reasons and there's attraction and there's security. And yeah, I don't trust that person either. On the other hand, I do look at a lot of relationships as, well, we know what's in it for him and we sort of know what's in it for her. And as long as they both sort of understand what's in it for both of them, it becomes like a business relationship in a sense more than a intimate relationship. But let's take a break. We'll explore that after this. Hey buddy, it's the Love Line. I'm Adam Nitz. Dr. True.

48:03 Drew And I'm still looking for people to put on television who are fearful of having sex while pregnant and what that all means to them. Interesting. Listen, Adam, listen to all those public service announcements during the break. And you know how people are, for a long time now, people have been sort of making a big issue about a Smokey the Bear being Smokey Bear. You heard this?

48:22 Adam Yeah. You say, the bear shouldn't be Smokey Bear or is it Santa the Claws?

48:27 Drew Is it the Easter of the Bunny? I have one response. Felix the Cat. Certain things just go together. It's Smokey the Bear. Felix the Cat.

48:37 Adam It is the name. You're very passionate about Felix the Cat.

48:40 Drew It makes me crazy that people want to undo things just because.

48:44 Adam Engineer Chris, you know Felix the Cat is?

48:46 Drew Yes, I do.

48:46 Adam You do? Can you sing the song?

48:49 No, I don't know the song, but I know the cartoon.

48:51 Adam Oh, okay. Here we go.

48:52 Drew Should we sing it out?

48:52 Adam That's an outrageous request. You ready to do it? Felix the Cat, the wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful cat.

49:04 Drew Felix the Cat, the wonderful, wonderful, wonderful cat.

49:08 Adam You'll laugh so hard.

49:09 Drew You know, your hearts are hard, your sides are like... Your heart will go pit-a-pat.

49:13 Adam What the hell does that mean?

49:14 Felix.

49:15 Adam The wonderful cat. I was oftentimes wonder, like, you know, you're looking at the lyric sheet, it's like, yeah, yeah, I like it, except for the part where your heart will go pit-a-pat. No, I realize we need something to rhyme with cat, but your heart will go pit-a-pat. Not, you know, like, you'll laugh like you're fat, you know, something, he doesn't like a rat, you know, it's really, A.T.'s one of the easier, you'll laugh at this and that, watching Felix, your heart will go pit-a-pat.

49:48 Drew You'll think of something, you'll think of something.

49:50 Adam Yeah, I'd be like, Russ, I give this a six. I think you could make it a nine if you put about 15 minutes more into it. Why don't you go knock that off?

49:58 Drew Let's, still, let's work on the character names for the cartoon.

50:01 Adam Yeah, we got the master cylinder.

50:05 Drew Well, we got a guy that's a smart guy. Let's call him the professor, the professor, or point dexter, son point dexter, that's right. Both.

50:13 Adam And we'll have Rock Bottom. Rock Bottom. And then we'll have the master cylinder, named after a brake car part. Yeah. All right, everybody. Let me just say this, the champ's name who matched the $15,000, $15,000 from our MIT professor over there in Boston, David Russ, or I should say, Roos, David Roos from Seattle. So he'll be coming in here as well.

50:48 Drew How does he spell his last name?

50:49 Adam Well, he spells it R-U-S-S, but it's pronounced Roos. So he'll be in here. He's from Seattle. So they'll both be in here and I'll be anxious to meet these two fine humanitarians. And Drew, I know you're worried about where your money is going. And that's very caring of you. You can give it to the Red Cross, though. I think that's where I gave my money. And of course, they'll ship it to somewhere out of the country. But at least it's going to the Red Cross. You know, if you don't feel comfortable making a donation to the tsunami, really fun or whatever it is, you give it to the Red Cross. And so what? It goes to, you know, to buy retarded kids in Russia some crayons or something with it, who cares? All right. Where, heard about experiment, oh yeah, where were we? Okay, we're talking to MJ, who's 23. MJ?

51:40 Yeah.

51:41 Adam What's up? Oh yeah, you got the father's, got the 22-year-old girlfriend, and yeah, here's what it is. You're disappointed in it.

51:53 Caller Well, I'm not so much disappointed in it. I mean, you know, I talk about this with my friends, and they're like, maybe you should be happy for him, but, you know, I don't know.

52:02 Drew It's weird.

52:02 Caller I think he could do a lot better, is what I'm saying.

52:05 Drew Yeah.

52:05 Caller I don't know.

52:06 Adam Well, hold on. You're not disappointed in him? You mean, your problem is, is she's 22, but she could be hotter, or what are you saying?

52:14 Caller Well, you know, what I'm saying is, I guess if I was his age, it'd be a good thing, but in my shoes, I'm thinking, you know what, he could do a lot better than that.

52:25 Drew But more importantly, it says something about him.

52:29 Adam What do you mean he could, okay.

52:31 Caller I mean, more in his age.

52:32 Adam What do you mean he could do better?

52:35 Caller I'm not saying with the quality of Corolla, and I'm not talking about looks. I'm not talking about that. I'm just talking about-

52:40 Drew More substantial person.

52:42 Caller Yeah, person in general.

52:45 Adam Yeah. Okay, but are we rejecting my point where he disappointed you?

52:50 Caller Well, I mean, I don't know. I just did something. It was kind of unexpected. It's just something I never thought he would do.

52:57 Adam All right, but you're not disappointed.

53:00 Caller You get what I'm saying about not being disappointed. I mean-

53:03 Drew No.

53:04 Adam No, I don't. Look-

53:06 Drew You sound disappointed.

53:07 Adam Look, when people do things, like not give money the right cross, you're supposed to be disappointed in them. And it's okay to admit that. I mean, this guy, he's your father. He's 50-something years old. He's dating a 22-year-old trailer trash. It's sort of disappointing.

53:24 Drew Yeah, it says something about him.

53:26 Adam It says something about him that you don't like to think that your dad is the kind of guy who would do this. You keep saying, I think he could do better, which is just confusing. What do you mean you think he could do better? You're not saying older, you're just saying better. Better, better looking, smarter.

53:43 Drew Yeah, older.

53:45 Adam Yeah, older. But what I mean is MJ, because he's one of our Loveline callers, won't let us put any words in his mouth.

53:51 Drew Right, right.

53:52 Adam Instead, he'd rather just sort of spit it back at you and end up at the same place but not use your words.

53:57 Drew Right.

53:59 Adam MJ, really, your choice is when a dad does this is being disappointed and being angry or both.

54:07 Caller Okay.

54:09 Drew Or just being weirded out. I mean, this is somebody closer to your age. It's sort of like, ugh, it's just a little bit creepy.

54:14 Caller Yeah, it's definitely creepy and I'm not trying to spit words back at you guys.

54:19 Drew Listen, you sounded depressed and sort of disappointed and you have a sort of probably an idealized notion of your dad and he sort of ruptured that bubble.

54:27 Adam Yeah, your dad is sort of being immature and doing one of those things that you would be laughing at if one of your friend's dads did it.

54:35 Drew What happened to your mom? Where's your mom?

54:37 Caller My mom and dad got divorced just as I was getting out of high school.

54:42 Drew Is something up with your dad? Is anything else going on?

54:45 Caller Not really. I mean, we have a good relationship and you know.

54:49 Drew What was your mom like?

54:52 Caller She was a great mom.

54:53 Drew How old were they when they got married, you think, approximately?

54:57 Caller My mom was 23 and my dad was 29.

55:00 Drew You know what it seems like? It seems like a guy who didn't sow his oats.

55:03 Adam Yeah, except for he was 29.

55:06 Drew You might have been a 29 year old nerd.

55:09 Adam I know, but I'm sure of it. But you were looking for, you know, there were high school sweethearts. And him being all but 30 when he got married is... MJ, he's doing it for whatever reasons he has. You can be disappointed in him and you can tell him that. Maybe you can let him explain himself. OK. You know, maybe, you know, you can say everything doesn't have to turn into a battle. You can tell him you're disappointed and he can tell you, well, here's why I'm doing this. And maybe you won't be so disappointed when you're done.

55:44 Drew And by the way, it's healthier to have a realistic vision of a sort of understanding of who your dad actually is. And this is an opportunity to kind of, you know, take scrap away that unrealistic idealized version of him and see who he really is.

55:56 Adam Cassandra, yeah, to be prepared for it. Yeah, disappointed. Cassandra, you're 19.

56:02 Caller Hello.

56:03 Adam What's up?

56:04 Okay. Drew.

56:08 Drew Yeah.

56:09 Caller Okay.

56:10 So I just got back to my apartment. I'm living in Hollywood.

56:17 Hello?

56:18 Drew Yeah, we're here.

56:18 Adam Yeah.

56:19 Okay.

56:20 Adam Well, let's do it like the Japanese do it. Hi, hi, hi.

56:24 Caller I'm there. Hi.

56:26 Can you hear me? Hi.

56:27 Caller Hi.

56:30 Caller Drew.

56:31 Drew Yeah, hi.

56:32 Caller Okay.

56:33 Adam.

56:34 Drew Hi.

56:35 Okay. I know this is probably a call that you guys have gotten multiple times, but okay. I fell in love with somebody when I was about 16, 17. Hi. And then the whole thing happened. I've been, do you know what I mean? I cheated on him a couple of times and then, you know what I mean? He did the same thing. He was suffocated blah, blah, blah. And then basically it's like the whole time, it's like both of us have been not able to get out. Like, you know what I mean? It's like we haven't been able to really get over the whole entire relationship, whatever.

57:12 Adam All right. Are you, are you drunk?

57:15 I know that's what Brian told you.

57:19 Drew You're not tracking all that well, but go ahead. What's the question in a sentence?

57:24 Basically, it's like, if you are my age, I just moved into my first apartment, you're trying to get over your first boyfriend, whatever.

57:33 You know what I mean?

57:34 Adam You're 19. Yes.

57:35 Caller I'm 19.

57:36 Caller I have a good job.

57:39 Caller But for some reason, we're in the same group of friends, and what do you, what are you supposed to do if, you know what I mean? You're around the same person all the time.

57:51 Adam All right. How old is he? Same age?

57:54 Caller Same age.

57:55 Drew Okay. You need to start dating and stay away from him. Very simple.

57:59 Adam So.

58:00 Drew That's it.

58:01 Caller Not very simple though, because if they're around you all the time, I have, imagine yourself, I live in LA, very close.

58:09 Caller I know I said that I live into it.

58:11 Caller I moved into an apartment that's very close. But imagine if you live in the same city, basically, all your friends are the same. Everything is the same.

58:22 Drew And then you need to develop a new group of friends. You need to expand your horizons. You need to get away from this guy. And what you're saying is you're not going to. You're not willing to.

58:30 Adam Well, she lives in. She lives in a little town, a small town, one trading post. There's one sock hop where all the kids meet every Friday night.

58:39 Caller Wrong. Wrong. Completely wrong.

58:41 Adam And then there's only one Starbucks. There's only one. I think they're thinking about opening another one in Long Beach, but I'm not sure. As of now, there's one Starbucks, one McDonald's. And the biggest the biggest event is the Friday Night Football High School. High School football, the entire town shuts down and goes and supports the fighting game cocks. So I understand that. I know what it's like. I grew up in the same, you know, one paved road, one stop sign, one parking meter. Listen, LA probably has more traffic cops, more parking enforcement personnel, or as I like to call them, meter pussies, than most towns population in this country. That whole, and I understand you have some of the same friends.

59:32 Drew It's hard. And even in a big town, it's even harder because you get lost in the big town.

59:36 Adam You can, when you don't want to see people, you won't. Oh boy, can you not see them? Many a person has done that to me. Cassandra?

59:45 Drew You got to make that your job.

59:47 Adam You were begging to differ with us right when I caught you off.

59:51 Caller I'm not begging to differ because I love you guys to death. I do it every night. But honestly, I know that all you do is you get on the phone, you try and beg for answers. But literally, imagine if you live in a city like Santa Monica. You know what I mean?

1:00:06 Drew I think Adam, Adam, literally imagine that.

1:00:09 Adam Literally, man, it's going to be tough because I used to live in Santa Monica.

1:00:13 So I had a few drinks, so bear with me.

1:00:16 Adam But no, shocking. But go ahead.

1:00:22 Caller No, but if you have any compassion, I know you've heard it every day. And I listen to that. And I understand exactly what you're saying.

1:00:28 Adam But Sandra, thank you for being a fan. So what? You're in Santa Monica. I know you're drunk, but let me cut through that wine cooler curtain you got put up. I have done this, everyone has done this, and I've friends that especially have done this. They have that same thing. It's on again, it's off again. It's chaotic. It's passionate. It's crazy. And the next four and a half years goes by. And then they finally realize they've wasted four and a half years of each other's life with the arguments and the blowouts and the restraining orders and the make-ups and the breakups. One big stupid dance.

1:01:02 Caller But imagine if you've had an abortion with the same guy and this...

1:01:06 Adam I had three! Anal abortions, of course. Yeah, okay.

1:01:13 Caller So it doesn't matter then?

1:01:15 Drew No, it doesn't matter. Why are you calling us then?

1:01:18 Adam Yeah, leave us alone then. I'm trying to talk this into your retarded universe.

1:01:22 Drew No, impossible.

1:01:24 Adam Yeah. First of all, I was thinking about Santa Monica. I have a friend who's stupid enough to live in Santa Monica. And you know, you think Burbank's bad. Santa Monica, they just kick the crap out of you. Like, if you don't have a front... My buddy got a ticket for going through an intersection. They took a picture of his car and sent it to him. And I said, look, you gotta take your front license plate off. Take the plate off. That's what I do. If you take your front license plate off, you can blow through them and they don't have anything to go by. And he said, yeah, I did that, but I kept getting tickets for it. Front license plate off. And I said, not pulled over and tickets, just tickets when you're parked, you know? I said, that's in Santa Monica, right? And he said, yeah. And I realized I used to live in Santa Monica. They bust your ass over there for everything. And I just, here's basically what I thought should be the sign is you enter Santa Monica. Santa Monica, easy on bums, tough on citizens.

1:02:30 Drew Yeah.

1:02:31 Adam Grab your ankles. That's their motto.

1:02:33 Drew Now grab your ankles.

1:02:34 Adam Yeah. Now grab your ankles and spread your cheeks. Like, look, if you're basically a junkie who defecates on himself, come on down to our parks and pitch a tent. We'll be serving miso soup about 6 a.m. and the bread line starts heating up about 10.

1:02:53 Drew But don't dare smoke.

1:02:54 Adam If you pay taxes or, yeah, you dare to drive a car without a front license plate or light up a butt anywhere but your basement, be prepared for a thorough reaming. It's really, and if you want to know what's, if you want to know what the world would be like with the lefty homos running the place, that's what it is. Come on down, homos. Come on. Come on down, bums.

1:03:19 Drew Homo's and hobos.

1:03:20 Adam Homo's and hobos. Yeah. Come on down, bums. Taxpayers, spread them. You're getting a good reaming. By the way, the guys who pay for the park can't use the park. Right. But that's all right. We'll be able to rape enough money from them via chicken-esque tickets for, you know, not, you know, smoking and parking and things having to do with, you know, license plates and things like that. Fantastic. All right. All right. That's what you get, everybody. Easy on bums, tough on citizens. Hey, the guy, Dave from Seattle, that says is on the line. Dave.

1:03:57 Drew Oh, cool.

1:03:58 Yeah.

1:03:59 Adam Dave, you're 35. Your last name is what?

1:04:04 Caller It's actually, you were one of the few people that actually said it right, but you spelled it wrong. My last name is Roos, and it's R-O-O-S.

1:04:14 Drew Ah, Roos.

1:04:17 Adam It's R-O-O-S? Right. Yeah. No, I can't. How dare you? How dare you? Because here's the whole thing. R-O-O-S is Roos, and that's fine. I have R-U-S-S in front of me. And then it says, it rhymes with goose. So that's fine, except for I'm looking at the word Russ. What is that, Drew? Why do we have to do that around here? Radio? Like, here's, I'm curious, you know what I'm curious about? It's like, everyone spells my last name, C-O-R-O-L-L-A, and it's C-A-R. I'm curious of how it gets that way. Yeah. Did I get drunk and spell it that way, fill out some application, C-O-R? Or did somebody just make it up and then run with it?

1:05:05 Drew And then spread it around.

1:05:07 Adam Yeah, I understand. We have to be wrong about almost everything over there, but how does it get to R-U-S-S?

1:05:13 Caller Yeah.

1:05:14 Adam All right. It's funny. God love you, Dave. What do you do over there in Seattle?

1:05:20 Caller I am a real estate investor, and I do something called site acquisition.

1:05:26 Adam How does that work? More real estate stuff?

1:05:28 Caller Yeah, it's all related to real estate. You know those cell phone towers that you complain so much about because there's not enough?

1:05:34 Adam Yeah.

1:05:35 Caller Well, I'm the guy that finds the locations and negotiates the leases to locate the antennas.

1:05:43 Adam Let me say this, you'll find this out when you attempt to use your cell phone here in Los Angeles that it works at about 40 percent of the area here. That's all right. LA., not a big car town.

1:05:56 Drew Nor do people use cell phones.

1:05:57 Adam No, no, no, no. There's just anyone who knows LA knows business is done in person and there's not a lot of time spent in the automobile. Yeah. OK. The cell phones break up everywhere in this godforsaken town. And if you try to go, you cannot. Here's the thing. Here's basically how it works in Los Angeles. There's a huge place called the Valley. That's where all the poor go and live. And then there's a huge place called the city. And there's more parts where the poor Mexicans live. And then in between are the hills. That's where we live. And the point is, is if you want to drive from one part to the next, you can't continue your phone call. It breaks up because you're going through hills. It doesn't seem like that insurmountable an obstacle, yet no one has been able to work it out. And my question is, are they trying? How does that work? Do you have any idea about this, Dave?

1:06:52 Caller It's all based on geography and the number of people using the cell phone in any given area. So there's certain things we just can't do. And if you're behind a bunch of trees, and I know there's not that many trees around there, but if you're in an area that's got big buildings and there's a bunch of people using the cell phone at that particular moment, you'll probably lose your signal.

1:07:13 Adam Manhattan, Manhattan, New York, Manhattan is one big skyscraper, yet you can waltz through the streets of Manhattan happily using your cell phone. And you can't make it ten feet in Los Angeles without the goddamn cell phone falling out. Now it says to me that if they can work perfectly in Manhattan, and by the way, we're better off on our cell phones when we travel talking to people in LA than we are in LA talking to people in LA., ironically. Yeah. Here's my plan, Dave. Tell me what you think of this. And this is just, this by the way, this is just a sample. This is just a Hickory Farm sample, the kind of witty banter you're going to hear when you come in into the studio. I had this idea, I read something in USA Today that said like 53% of the country is gone to fake Christmas trees. And then I started, and then Jimmy told me he had a fake Christmas tree. And then I started realizing how bad the reception is in the hills. What if we heat up these Christmas trees? What if we take all the people with fake Christmas trees and turn them into cell phone receivers?

1:08:20 Drew Antennas, perfect.

1:08:21 Caller It's brilliant, and my wife's going to kill me for saying this out loud, but I'm standing next to our fake Christmas tree right now. What if it's mid to late January, and it would make an excellent antenna.

1:08:36 Adam And you could get, because that's what they do with the antennas anyway. They just take these fake pine trees and stick them everywhere. We do that with everybody. They leave the trees up year round. The holiday spirit is felt in June, July, and August, and you get yourself a check from Verizon every month for like $18.29.

1:08:59 Drew Hey, that's all good. But I want to hear Dave's story as to why he's donating the money for this godforsaken show.

1:09:08 Caller By the way, I have the email. I wrote my wife, who was my girlfriend back in 1897, saying, hey, there's this great show called Love Line. You got to listen. And been a fan since then. You guys do, as Adam would say, the Lord's work. I'm really excited to, even almost more than talk on the air, just hang out with you guys.

1:09:35 Adam Yeah. We're going out to dinner, too.

1:09:37 Drew Yeah. We got to go to dinner.

1:09:38 Caller Good times. And actually, it does hit a little bit close to home. We, almost to the day, a month before the tsunami hit, we're in Indonesia, on the beaches, on the beaches.

1:09:51 Drew Oh, my God. Wow.

1:09:53 Caller So, I mean, you know, it's a good story, but it's not a near-death experience. But still, it could have been us. We wouldn't have known any better. We would have been hanging on the beach, along with everybody else.

1:10:05 Adam Well, Dave, we do honestly appreciate your generous donation, and we look forward to meeting you.

1:10:13 Caller You, of course, because you are taking half, right?

1:10:16 Adam Well, okay. Let me explain what happened. And I'm just going to be upfront with everyone who's listening. I announced when it was at, I think it was about $12,000, $13,000, Drew, that I needed to wet my beak, as we say in the business, that I needed a taste, because I feel like I'm the one who's, I'm essentially a broker. If you had any of the old hosts in on here, it'd be $1,800, maybe $2,000. But because of my personality, because of my Q rating, because of my personality, my wit, my charm, the cash register, I got the thing jacked up to $13,000. I'm saying that is $10,000 more than you would have made if I wasn't here. Why shouldn't I get $5,000? And where's my incentive for the next time a tsunami hits? You know what I'm saying? What is my motivation? So here's how it works. And stop me for wrong, Dave. You're a businessman. This is how these things work. Thank you.

1:11:26 Caller I can't argue with it.

1:11:27 Adam I know he agrees with me. Look, I have an agent. My agent jacks the price up on everything. And then I gladly give him a taste. Of course, it's 10%. It's not 40 or 50%, like I'm asking for. But the point is, Drew, is I got us up to 13 and all I want is five. And a good eight is going to those poor Sumatran's, all right?

1:11:50 Drew I just, you know, Diana Ross does the same thing. Why shouldn't you?

1:11:53 Adam I did. I did say, however, Drew, and I do believe you heard this, that if it did get to 15, then I got to 7,500. Again, I ratchet up. And I can't say I'm proud of it, but it's business. And we did get to 15. So that puts me at the 7,500 mark. And again, I don't want to take it. But if I didn't do it for this, then other people and other charities would complain when I did it to them. Do you understand? Of course. There's a precedent to be set. So what we're saying is, is we got it up to 15. That's the mark. I ratchet up to 75. Now times two, I walk with 15. But the good people of Indonesia walk with 15 as well. And that's 15 more than they would have had if I was not born.

1:12:40 Caller By the way, my apologies to Tom, the other auction winner, because he was at 12 grand. And then I started bidding and drove it up to 15. We ran out at a time. And so there it landed at 15. But if I would never came along, he would have only had to pay 12.

1:12:56 Adam Right. In which case, I would have only got five.

1:13:00 Drew Did you hear that's his entire salary for his summer school class in the astrophysics?

1:13:05 Caller Yeah, I did. But just for the record, I purposely waited till today to pay for it, because I got an extra 30 days on my credit card because of the new billing statement. So the 15,000 means a lot to me too.

1:13:20 Adam Well, listen, look, it obviously, no matter how much you make, 15,000 is a lot of money. It's a lot of money. It just is. If you make 15 for the year, it's a little more money. But the point is, it's generous any way you slice it. And it's certainly 15 more are, I mean, collected. You're 75 along with his 75 after my cut. And you just make out two checks. One, two, I have a holding company. It's a Nevada based corporation. Oh, I don't want to bore you with those details yet. Just bring the checkbook. And then of course, the other one goes to the Sumatra Relief. Whatever. What do they got over there, Drew? I know what it is, but where to take place?

1:14:08 Drew Sri Lanka.

1:14:09 Adam Sri Lanka. Where's Sumatra?

1:14:11 Drew I don't know. Maybe it's in Sumatra.

1:14:13 Adam I looked that up, Chris.

1:14:14 Caller Sumatra is an island in Indonesia.

1:14:17 Adam They were certainly affected by this tragedy.

1:14:20 Drew Yes, of course.

1:14:21 Adam Here's my point, Dave. Bring two checks and we'll see you when we see you. When are you coming out?

1:14:29 Caller I left producer Anna a message requesting, I think February 23rd. I'm going to be in the area. So hopefully it will be for you guys.

1:14:38 Adam There's a good chance Drew will be chasing a nickel somewhere around the country, but you'll be able to hear him via the satellite. Yeah, and besides you got the Ace Man too, so don't worry about it. This is where the show is. This is the moneymaker right here. Should we take a little break, Drew?

1:14:54 Drew Absolutely.

1:14:54 Adam Where are we? Is it time to take a break?

1:14:56 Drew Yes, yes. Oh, yes.

1:14:58 Adam All right. Thanks, Dave. You're really, really a man after my own heart. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:15:07 Caller 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1.

1:15:08 Adam Loveline.

1:15:09 Caller Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

1:15:30 Adam Yeah, Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew in Atlanta tonight. We will get back to the phones. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Kate's been on hold for 101 minutes, so I suppose we should speak to her. Kate?

1:15:45 Caller Hello.

1:15:46 Adam You're 18?

1:15:47 Caller Oh my Lord, I almost fell asleep.

1:15:49 Adam You're calling from Alaska.

1:15:51 Caller Yes, I am.

1:15:51 Caller Thank you for answering my call.

1:15:53 Drew It's earlier there though.

1:15:55 Caller It is about 10 or 11, but I have to leave the house at 5.30 every morning, so.

1:16:01 Adam It's about 10 or 11?

1:16:02 Caller I'm not sure because I've been sitting around in the dark room for a long time with a telephone.

1:16:07 Adam Well, you got to fire up the generator, and figure out what time it is.

1:16:12 Caller Yeah, you know, get out the batteries.

1:16:15 Adam Is it an hour earlier than it is or two hours earlier?

1:16:18 Drew At least two, yeah.

1:16:20 Caller I believe it would probably be somewhere after 10. I really am not sure right now.

1:16:25 Adam How about you orientate yourself and find out?

1:16:28 Caller All right.

1:16:29 Adam Because I'm curious.

1:16:30 Caller All right, one second, but I actually had two questions for Dr. Drew.

1:16:34 Caller Yeah.

1:16:36 Caller Number one, I lost my virginity last week, and I was just wondering, is it normal to bleed two days later? Not like a lot, but just, there was just a tiny bit.

1:16:46 Drew That's not normal, but that can happen.

1:16:48 Caller Okay.

1:16:49 Drew When does your period do?

1:16:51 Caller Well, that's the other question. I just started on birth control about two weeks ago.

1:16:56 Drew That's actually where I was going to go next, because that kind of bleeding, that sort of mid-cycle bleeding, is real typical when you're on the pill.

1:17:02 Caller Yeah, but you can tell the difference, you know, and it wasn't like menstrual blood.

1:17:06 Drew No, I know, but it's mid-cycle bleeding, which is very common when you're on the pill, and sex can further generate that.

1:17:13 Caller But the other thing was, I started taking the pill right when I got it, which was two weeks after I got off of my period. And I was just wondering, when is it safe to not use protection?

1:17:25 Drew Really the second pack. The second go-round, yeah.

1:17:28 Caller All right, thanks.

1:17:30 Adam Where are you going at? What time is it, by the way? Find that out.

1:17:32 Caller 13 for the clock, one second.

1:17:34 Caller It's 10.33 over there.

1:17:36 Caller Oh, thank you.

1:17:38 Adam Okay, Kate, when engineer Chris tells you what time it is in your state before you do, it is time to put a bullet in your head.

1:17:49 Drew Well, just to think very hard about things.

1:17:51 Caller Understandable, I'm sorry. By the way, I loved your lovely rendition of Felix the Cat.

1:17:56 Drew Isn't that nice?

1:17:57 Adam Thank you. Thank you.

1:17:58 Caller That was a good one.

1:17:59 Adam And let me say this about engineer Chris, by the way, brought his A game.

1:18:06 Drew Tonight?

1:18:07 Adam No, the last few nights, which is, let me clarify that, which is everyone else's C game, but it's still his A game.

1:18:16 Drew He was nodding and laughing last night and had things you said.

1:18:19 Adam I don't know what's gotten into this kid, but he's looking up stuff on the internet. He's leaned over. The first six months he was here, I'd say, how about that, Chris? And he'd look, he'd be staring off into the distance. He'd give that thousand yard stare that only Vietnam vets have.

1:18:36 Caller Well, I was nervous.

1:18:36 Adam He was nervous and he'd say, huh? And then we'd have to do, Drew would have to hit him. He'd have to hit him with something reflective. Drew carried a small mirror in his wallet to shine it, get Chris's attention.

1:18:47 Caller Well, I thought you were going to ask me anyway, so that's why I looked it up.

1:18:50 Adam All right. Well, good.

1:18:51 Drew Hey, Chris, look up what it was. Find out what it was that Howard Stern was freaking out about this morning that I had said. I'm very interested to know.

1:18:57 Caller Dr. Drew?

1:18:58 Drew Yeah.

1:18:58 Caller I also had one more thing. Yeah. When I got the pills and everything, the doctor that prescribed them told me that, you know, how there's the new brand of birth control, Susan, now that you only have to have your period once every three months. Well, I asked her about that, and she said that that's pretty much just the normal pill. The only difference is that you keep taking it.

1:19:20 Drew That's correct.

1:19:21 Caller And I've actually heard that.

1:19:23 Caller Thing is, if I...

1:19:26 Caller Does it matter that I don't actually have my period and I just keep on going to the second pack?

1:19:31 Drew Doesn't matter.

1:19:32 Caller I may have already all belated and everything.

1:19:34 Drew Doesn't matter.

1:19:35 Caller Doesn't matter?

1:19:36 Drew That's why you can do it. That's why they have those products, because it doesn't matter.

1:19:39 Caller I just want to know, because I started two weeks after I got off of my period. And I wasn't sure.

1:19:44 Drew No, it should be fine.

1:19:45 Caller That's all fine.

1:19:46 Adam Okay. Well, hold on. Where are you going at 5.30 in the morning, every morning?

1:19:51 Caller At 5.30? Oh, I actually commute to school. I live an hour and a half away. My senior year of high school, but I moved out of town, because I moved out of my father's house, and I live with my cousin now.

1:20:05 Adam Bad times. You sound pretty matter of fact about it, but that doesn't sound like a good move.

1:20:10 Caller Oh, no, it actually was.

1:20:11 Caller My father and I get along fine when we don't live together. It's just that when we do, we have our issues.

1:20:18 Drew Where's your mom?

1:20:19 Caller She died when I was seven.

1:20:23 Adam Attacked by Bull Walrus or what happened?

1:20:25 Drew Moose? Moose.

1:20:26 Caller No, she actually had cancer.

1:20:28 Adam From the goring that the moose gave her?

1:20:31 Caller Not quite. No, she had a brain tumor.

1:20:34 Drew Oh, my. I'm so sorry.

1:20:35 Caller Horrible. Lovely as it was talking to you.

1:20:37 I think my phone will die at any moment.

1:20:39 Adam All right. Hang up on her. But it's so disappointing when people get cancer in places where avalanche would have been good. Harpooned by a drunken local, gored by a walrus, something.

1:20:59 Drew You know, people don't know about Alaska's particular anchorage that the distances are so great there that everyone has a, like a Cessna, everyone has a plane.

1:21:06 Adam Yeah, with skis on it.

1:21:08 Drew Or giant balloon tires for field landings.

1:21:11 Adam Right. Right. There's outback pilots and, you know, they, one crashes every other weekend.

1:21:19 Drew Oh, yeah. That's what I thought she was going to say about her mom.

1:21:23 Adam What are you going to do? Yeah. I know. I look, I, you know, cancer's fine if you live in Chicago, New York or Los Angeles, but you live in Alaska, you need an appropriate demise. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I would have accepted, oh, tuna boat capsized. Yeah. Water landing went bad in a, in a, in a, in a puddle jumper. Again, Kodiak, Kodiak bear attack, Gord by moose, other acceptable ones. There's the general, you know, general drunken, frozen death, frozen death's nice, drunken minor, you know, put a shiv, you know, that kind of, that, that, and by the way, that works in Nevada as good as it works in Anchorage. I'm trying to think, any indigenous animal is good. Anything that has to do with the temperature is nice. And then, you know, got hold of some bad, like seal blubber and, you know, choked. That's good. I'm trying to think of other, other very elastic.

1:22:34 Drew Ice, ice climbing accident.

1:22:36 Adam Ice climbing, climbing a frozen waterfall, glacier accident. Ran over by fast moving glacier is good. Oh, here's, here's the best, though. The natives with the seal skin toss thing busted and hit, hit, hit, hit her head on a rock.

1:22:53 Drew And killer whales, killer whales.

1:22:56 Adam Killer whale.

1:22:57 Drew Yeah.

1:22:58 Adam Killer whales. Nice. Yeah, that's a good one. All right. Those all. And by the way, well, what do we give? Twenty.

1:23:05 Drew Twenty what?

1:23:05 Adam Twenty options. Oh, well, a lot of lots to choose from. Lots to choose from.

1:23:11 Caller All right.

1:23:12 Adam All right. But sad. What happened to mom? And she's very casual about not getting along with her father.

1:23:21 Drew I know. Well, she seems mature, really, you know. Well, sort of grown up early.

1:23:25 Adam I think when your mom dies at seven and you're born, you're raised by your dad who, you know, who lives in Alaska or something and lives in Alaska. I picture by 11, you know, cooking him dinner. And you know what I mean?

1:23:39 Drew Yeah, yeah, me too.

1:23:41 Adam Think of the difference between your daughter at 12 and her at 12.

1:23:44 Drew Oh, boy. Oh, boy. A lot of ice. Both a lot of ice.

1:23:48 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yours is inside some $500 skates and on the ice, she's chipping it away to get boiled, to make water, to make drinking water. All right. Let's talk to Shelby. No, I don't want to talk to Shelby. Say, oh, here's one I like. Where's that one? Cousin.

1:24:09 Caller Yeah.

1:24:10 Adam Dina.

1:24:11 Caller Yeah.

1:24:12 Adam 21.

1:24:13 Caller Yeah.

1:24:14 Adam Your cousin is stealing your dirty underpants.

1:24:17 Drew Oh, my. Oh, boy. Wow. Again, good natured about it, though, Adam. I mean, jovial, jovial call.

1:24:24 Caller You know, I just I'm going mad about it, but I beat up my best friend to, like, let out my anger.

1:24:30 Adam So how do you know for speed up your best friend?

1:24:34 Caller Well, you know, he doesn't care. He loves me, but I don't care. You know, I just how do you know?

1:24:39 Adam How do you know your cousin is stealing your underpants?

1:24:42 Caller Well, she was no one else allowed in my house. My mom's like neurotic. So she like doesn't let anyone in the house. And I don't let anyone in my room except for her. Or like my best friend at night. I know he's not taking them. Like there's no way.

1:24:55 Drew Why?

1:24:56 Caller Well, cause he would never fit in them. She.

1:24:58 Drew No, no, no. But guys steal stuff like that.

1:25:00 Caller And they kind of.

1:25:01 Caller He's only been in my room like three or four times. I mean, even my mom stays in the living room.

1:25:05 Drew They don't wear it. They don't wear the underwear.

1:25:07 Caller I know they smell them or whatever, but he's not like that desperate. Jesus Christ.

1:25:13 Adam Well, he probably has them on his head right now. He's really masturbating. First off, I just got to say, if somebody would steal my soiled underpants, I might have to have had it.

1:25:26 Caller I don't know what to do. And like, if I do get them back, like I'm like major germaphobe and I'm afraid to wear them.

1:25:33 Drew Yeah, but girls don't steal one another's underwear. That really doesn't happen. What does she want them for?

1:25:38 Caller Girls are shady.

1:25:39 Drew No, but they don't steal underwear. Why? Is there something special about your underwear? No.

1:25:44 Adam You mean she wants the underwear for herself?

1:25:47 Caller Yes.

1:25:48 Drew Is there something special about your underwear? Does she have a dollar?

1:25:50 Caller Yeah, they're really expensive. I buy underwear with like, you know, diamonds in them and like, you know, embroidery and this and that.

1:25:57 Drew Diamonds?

1:25:58 Caller Well, I go, I love diamonds. Diamonds are girls' best friend, you know?

1:26:01 Drew Does she have a dollar? I hope you mean sequins.

1:26:03 Caller You know what I mean? Wow. Because little cubics are connias and all that kind of stuff, like underwear that cost like 100 bucks, you know?

1:26:10 Adam $100 underpants.

1:26:13 Caller I'm an only child, so whatever, you know.

1:26:15 Adam Sounds like your mom is super neurotic and making you neurotic too.

1:26:18 Caller Oh yeah.

1:26:20 Adam Is that true?

1:26:21 Caller That could be true.

1:26:22 Caller I mean, my mom used to go through my stuff when I was younger all the time, but I just, I mean, I just, I mean, there's no one else it could be. It can't be my mom. She's afraid of thongs.

1:26:32 Adam All right, do you live, do you say thongs?

1:26:36 Caller Yeah.

1:26:37 Drew She's afraid of them? She's afraid they're gonna, but like the little house of horrors are gonna come together?

1:26:43 Caller My mom didn't have sex till she was 30.

1:26:47 Adam Okay. Using someone else's thongs, like using their toothbrush, I know. Or worse, on your ass. Dina, look, baby doll, you're 21. It's time to get out of the crazy house that you call home and get your own apartment.

1:27:02 Caller I did move out, but then I had to move back in because I couldn't afford to live on my own and go to school. I'm putting myself through college and...

1:27:08 Drew Okay, it's time to go live in a dorm at school.

1:27:10 Caller I go to a community college.

1:27:12 Drew Oh, sh...

1:27:12 Caller Oh, hell.

1:27:15 Drew Are you shocked?

1:27:15 Caller Hey, what's wrong with community college? Nothing.

1:27:18 Adam Yeah, everything, baby.

1:27:20 Caller No, there's not.

1:27:21 Adam Yeah, high school with ashtrays. Nothing going on over there. Just a bunch of slackers wasting time and my money.

1:27:29 Caller So not true.

1:27:30 Adam Get to work, you losers. Just admit you're a crappy student. That's why you're there.

1:27:35 Caller That's...

1:27:37 Drew Oh, for God's sakes. All right, all right. The BS bomb. Loud and clear, too.

1:27:43 Adam What an eloquent point she made, by the way.

1:27:46 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:27:47 Adam Oh, touche. Hey, look, I'm big enough to admit when I'm wrong.

1:27:51 Caller She's like that dude chick guy.

1:27:53 Adam Yeah.

1:27:53 Drew Yeah, a little bit of that.

1:27:54 Caller I beat up my best friend. I punch him in the face. You know, it's cool.

1:27:57 Adam Yeah. Yeah, she's like one of those chicks. It's like sort of she's good looking in the sense she's got the bones. But humping her would be like humping one of your buddies like kid brothers or something kind of wiry and weird.

1:28:09 Drew And it's a that doesn't sound real female like.

1:28:14 Adam Right. Right.

1:28:14 Drew We're all picking up on. So I'm looking to talk to people who are fearful of having sex while pregnant. Male, female, fearful, the baby, fearful of how they look. This is going to show back on track.

1:28:24 Adam The doc, move your hand. I'm going down. I squeeze another 10 minutes oral sex out of this for the kid crowns.

1:28:31 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:28:32 Adam Take a quick break. Be right back after this. Yeah, Loveline, that's what I'm talking about. Unwritten Law in here on Thursday night. Drew over there in Atlanta. And Jeremy, 28. Jeremy?

1:29:01 Caller Hi, how you doing, Adam? Hi, Drew.

1:29:03 Adam Sorry, you've been on hold for so long, Jeremy.

1:29:05 Caller Well, you got a lot of people you gotta help, and you know, they all appreciate it. Just waiting my turn.

1:29:09 Drew Jeremy.

1:29:10 Adam Boy, I love this Jeremy.

1:29:11 Drew Yes, oh my goodness.

1:29:13 Caller Well, thank you. Well, I love you guys. My question is about alternative methods of male birth control.

1:29:22 Drew Yeah.

1:29:22 Caller I was doing a little research online, and I found out about this method, and I guess they're doing clinical trials on it in India.

1:29:30 Drew Yeah.

1:29:31 Caller It's called reversible inhibition of sperm. And basically, the idea of it is that instead of doing what they do with the vasectomy, where they snip the vas deferens, they inject this chemical in there, which forms like a plug.

1:29:44 Drew Right.

1:29:44 Caller So it does be like the exact same effect, and the chemical will just stay in there for, I think, like five years, and after that, it dissolves. You can get it done again, kind of like how women get the venora plant. Right. And I was just curious if you had heard anything about any clinical trials you're interested in doing to bring it to the US., whether you, Drew, had even heard about this process, because I mean...

1:30:03 Drew You know, I know there are many different reversible vasectomies, basically, being explored. This obviously is one of them. But I'm not aware of any clinical trials for this particular technique.

1:30:14 Adam But this is an injection, right?

1:30:16 Caller Yeah.

1:30:17 Drew Most of the stuff is being studied here. Yeah, it's trying to incapacitate the sperm, trying to reduce the number of sperm, or affect the motility, those sorts of things. There is something coming soon here, I'm sure of it, like within a year or two.

1:30:30 Caller Okay, yeah, because the main thing is like the stuff I had heard about were people working with stuff with, you know, injections and trying to have a pill for the guys and doing hormonal stuff for guys. Right.

1:30:38 Drew Very difficult.

1:30:39 Caller Yeah, similar side effects to women, and it's more difficult to control. And this, it just, when I read about it, it was like it sounded so common sense that I was like, you think that our, you know.

1:30:50 Drew Yeah, but you would be amazed on your body's ability to re-canalize things that are supposed to be opened to create that. I doubt that that that technique is going to be terribly reliable. Look there, when you, when you, even when you do a vasectom, when you cut and tie and burn, the body has a way of growing back and reconnecting a certain percentage of the time. So I think this will be a rather treacherous, I doubt that kind of thing will be a widespread use. It sounds, it sounds, people have some sort of fantasy about anatomy, that somehow if you correct anatomy or intervene on anatomy, that that's all you got to do. But the body is amazing, really resilient in terms of restoring its normal physiology.

1:31:27 Adam Yeah, and I wonder, first off, call me old fashioned, but you know, I like to pull out.

1:31:32 Drew Yeah, of course.

1:31:34 Adam And you know, I'm a hamper finisher. I'm not going to lie to anybody.

1:31:38 Drew That was a plant.

1:31:40 Adam Oh, potted fern. That's okay. That's right. Actually had a had an old sock on it. So I took it. Okay. You're right, Drew. Appreciate it. Yeah. The other thing is, is, you know, you know, we talk about, oh, this is going to cut down on population. I wonder how many guys are going to say they're on the pill or they had this shot or don't worry about it, babe. I took care of this. I mean, there is going to be that whole side of the male contraceptive story. Minerva?

1:32:09 Caller Yes.

1:32:09 Adam You're 22. What's happening, baby love?

1:32:13 Caller Well, I had a question, Ashley. I'm wondering if something is wrong with me or if anything's okay. Ashley, my problem is, well, I'm married and my husband, he's a little older than me. He's also 22, but when we first got married, when I was...

1:32:28 Adam Hold on, he's several weeks older than you? Because that can make a big difference. I got to be honest with you. My grandfather was three and a half weeks older than my grandmother. They had nothing to talk about.

1:32:40 Caller Okay.

1:32:42 Adam There was a totally different era. She was born in January 1920 and he was later January 1920. There you go. And so it'd be like Truman who? Guy Lombardo what? World War I? I don't know.

1:32:59 Caller His birthday is on November. Mine's on January.

1:33:02 Caller How is that?

1:33:02 Adam Is that better? That's pretty big difference. Huge.

1:33:05 Caller Is that really?

1:33:06 Drew No.

1:33:07 Adam It's eight months. It's a big difference if both of you are under two.

1:33:11 Drew Yeah.

1:33:11 Caller Oh. Okay. Well, you know, going by that, when we first got married, when I was 18, you know, we were very sexually active and we could go three times a day and you know, whatnot. But now, actually here, let me go before that.

1:33:28 Adam Hold on.

1:33:29 Drew Hold on.

1:33:30 Adam We're like out of time, but here's the thing. Your husband doesn't want sex and just wants to oral sex, right?

1:33:36 Caller Well, that's the first question. But the other question is, all of a sudden I turn 22 and all of a sudden, like maybe a week before I turn 22, I want to have it like every day now.

1:33:46 Drew Because he doesn't want to.

1:33:47 Adam Yeah, you're going to have to bend him or whatever he's doing is not okay. He needs to step it up and you unfortunately are going to have to sort of tug the leash a little and pull him in line. He will appreciate it in his own retarded way, but it's going to take a couple tugs on the leash. Go ahead and do that. We'll be back after this. Well, that's the show, everybody. Thanks for tuning in. You can look forward to Dr. Bruce tomorrow night. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:48 Caller But imagine if you've had an abortion with the same guy and...

1:34:52 Adam I had three! Ain't all abortions, of course.

1:34:58 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:35:02 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, January 25, 2005