Episode 1000675491725

4:30 Adam Hey, everybody, it's the Love Line. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-E-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, board certified. We have a certified physician, addiction medicine specialist tonight, John Cho and Kal Penn, both here tonight from Harold and Kumar, go to White Castle, which is out on DVD. And let me be honest. I want to be honest with both the boys. We usually don't have guys to come out because movies come out on DVD.

4:56 Guest That's true.

4:56 Adam But we were smitten with these two when they were here a few months ago.

5:01 Guest Thank you.

5:02 Drew Their hand came in and said, can those guys come back? And Adam went, no way. No way.

5:07 Adam No, I just said no.

5:08 Drew Yeah, all right. Yeah.

5:09 Adam Come on, Drew.

5:10 Drew Yeah.

5:11 Adam Don't embarrass me. I went, no. No. Yeah, I didn't go, no way.

5:15 Drew Oh, you're right.

5:16 Adam You're right.

5:16 Drew My memory, you get a little fade.

5:18 Adam Yeah, I said no way the second time. Yeah. Cause she went, well.

5:22 Drew You liked them. You liked them first time.

5:24 Adam Yeah.

5:24 Drew Then you went, no way.

5:25 Adam No, I said, please. I like these guys. And here's the thing. Here's how we do this show. A, we're desperate. We're like a fat chick who went stag to the prom. We're not proud. Juice us up and go. But no, we really did like you guys and we thought, these guys are smart. These guys are sharp and it's easy. So come on back and enjoy. And I saw, I think I was watching Roper and Ebert last week and I think they said, they weren't reviewing, they were just doing a Here's What's Out on DVD. And I think they did Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. I think they said they had lots of fun stuff in it. And go check it out. Am I right or am I making this up?

6:09 Caller They've been really great to us, Ebert and Roper. Right. And they did love the movie. So thanks to them, wherever they are.

6:15 Guest Yeah, we like them.

6:17 Adam Yep. All right. So how did the movie did good? Not great, but good? Am I right?

6:24 Guest Yeah, it did well. At least.

6:25 Adam Yeah.

6:25 Caller Yeah.

6:26 Adam And how does it work? And do you guys know when it probably varies from movie to movie? But, you know, in the overall scope of things, they're going to make some movie, they're going to make some money from selling it to video channels or paper channels and movies, airplanes, hotels, international stuff.

6:43 Caller Yeah.

6:44 Adam What do you got to get like like if a movie is 20 million bucks and you get 10 million back in the theater, you're still in good shape?

6:51 Caller I don't know, man.

6:52 Adam Do you?

6:53 Drew I have no idea. You're still in very good shape.

6:55 Adam Oh, really?

6:56 Caller I think so. Very good. No, no, no.

6:58 Adam I had to tell you that. Drew was in New York Minute and he would have killed himself because the thing was like 60 million bucks and got back $4. Two of that was yours, Drew.

7:07 Caller Well, it's changed so much, you know, in the last decade.

7:10 Drew By the way, if they spend 60 million on a film, it's 40 million is advertisement.

7:14 Caller Yeah, right, right, right, right. All right. I mean, I think we did spend the budget that was allowed to make our movie in advertising. I mean, it's that insane. And then you've got foreign sales, DVD sales, and you know, it just goes on and on.

7:27 Guest Well, these numbers too, they can predict based on the first weekend, what the overall projection is going to be and how long they're going to keep it in the theaters, when they're going to pull it back. It's a weird secret.

7:36 Drew They know it by Friday night.

7:37 Guest Yeah, Friday night, they're all on the phone with each other.

7:39 Caller I think they're weirdly exact too.

7:41 Adam Well, there's nudity in the movie.

7:44 Drew So we'll watch that.

7:45 Adam Boobies.

7:45 Caller Hell of a lot of boobies.

7:47 Adam Lots of boobies in the movies. And the good thing about the DVD release is you get to see more boobies than you would have normally seen.

7:54 Guest Now, Cho, it's not just boobies, right?

7:56 Caller What?

7:57 Guest Isn't there?

7:57 Caller I think you're leading me to a joke that I'm not.

7:59 Guest Don't I take my clothes off?

8:00 Caller Oh, that's right. There's Kal's butt.

8:04 Guest That's right.

8:04 Adam Kal Cho shows his power in the movie. And let me say so it is out as we speak.

8:11 Guest Yeah. Yes. It came out on the fourth, I believe.

8:13 Adam Go out and get it. And by the way, this is right in our target demo here, Drew. Yes.

8:17 Guest Yes, it is.

8:18 Drew All right.

8:19 Adam Let me tell you about a thrill I had at the dentist today. Oh, first off, I will not regale you with the horror stories of what's going to go on in my mouth in the next few weeks. Other than.

8:31 Drew Wait, wait, give me a little thumbnail.

8:32 Adam The guy used the word five-hour session.

8:34 Drew Is this to replace that one tooth?

8:36 Adam Yeah, they got to do that. There's a root canal. The guy just said basically he's going to light an M80 off of my mouth and then it's going to come in there.

8:43 Drew Are you going to have a bunch of runny ears put on or something?

8:46 Adam No, no, no, no. No, it's just drilling, just root canal.

8:49 Drew Just trying to restore the health of your mouth.

8:51 Adam Yeah. But that's not where the victory is. But let me just say this. Let me say, again, I want to talk etiquette for dentists because I got this one. I got this one. The guy's taking the thing in there and he's doing it. And it comes up on the screen now. Yeah, he's got a monitor and he takes the x-ray and it comes up on the thing. And I'm just sort of reading my Guinness Book of World Records and seeing if I might qualify for longest time in a dentist chair in one sitting, you know, coming up here. And the guy just goes, whoa, like he gave like an audible like, oh, Christ. And by the way, this guy who looks up f-ed up teeth all day long, he gave like a yow. And then then proceed to tell me had some of them doesn't need a root canal. But here's here's the victory part. I told this guy, I got tired of going to the dentist and having spray the cold spring water on my teeth while, you know, they clean your teeth or they drill. And when they rinse, they spray that cold compressed cold water. And it's really painful if you're sensitive at all. And it comes out of the ground and it's in an office building. If you happen to be sitting there in the middle of winter, the thing's going to come out about 50 degrees, maybe 46 degrees. And they sprayed all over your teeth and it hurts. Thank you. And I would say, hey, I got a great invention. And this is where it gets bad. I would say, I got a great invention. How about a inline water heater for this? You can spray nice warm water on your teeth. And now this is where I was going through the roof. Oh, they got those. That's the answer. And I like when the guys think they're showing off and they're digging deeper. They got those. Oh, really? They do. Oh, yeah. How long have they had this? Oh, Christ. I don't know. Since I've been doing it. I mean, it's 30 years. Okay, now like steam's coming out of my head, you know, I'll go, why don't you go get one? And then here's the other one they do too, is they go, yeah, I know, because everyone asked.

10:41 Caller Go get one.

10:44 Adam Go get. I just sounded like Enos from Dukes of Hazzard. I just like when they do that. Yeah, they've been around for a hundred years and yeah, you're not the only one who, they're about 28 bucks, probably 30 install.

11:05 Drew Was this the thrill today?

11:06 Adam No, I'll tell you what the thrill was. The thrill was I dumped that Dennis and I went to this new guy and he was like, look, I want to do this, I want to do that, I want to do the other. This is two years ago. I haven't seen him in two years. And I said, okay, listen, Weisenheimer, I'll tell you what, go get that inline water heater, then you will have my business. And it was kind of a fun, you know, he didn't need my business, but he went and did it. And I hadn't seen him in two years. And I came back and said, they're all in and everyone loves them. And they comment on it every time. And I tell them it's you that did. And I went out, got my teeth clean, and she was just spraying that warm, jacuzzi water. It's like my teeth were taking a bath. And it was perfect.

11:42 Drew You just told them to have at it. You're ready now.

11:44 Adam Spray it all.

11:45 Drew No, but I mean to really start drilling.

11:47 Adam No, not drilling. Not drilling, but you know, when you get your teeth cleaned and they're scraping.

11:50 Drew You owe him that, though. He's lived up to his side of the bargain.

11:54 Adam Yeah, he's going to do it. JO., I'm just saying when I got my teeth cleaned, Jackoff.

12:00 Drew Oh, Jackoff.

12:01 Adam When I got my teeth cleaned, the woman was spraying all that nice warm water. It felt good. It was nice.

12:06 Drew So to all dentists out there.

12:08 Adam Get the in-line heater, you idiots. Jesus Christ, it should be number one. Number one.

12:15 Drew Certainly before the x-ray screen, the video screen.

12:17 Adam Before any of the other stuff. Before the rainforest poster on the ceiling. Before the giant tooth pen holder that's at the receptionist desk. A couple more. I got a little more dentist stuff to talk about. Just a couple more things. Shouldn't, Drew, we've spoken about this before, but it's been a while. You know the reminder thing you get in the mail? Can't they have one for adults? Are they all geared for 8 year olds?

12:40 Drew Mr. Tooth running away from Mr. Tooth Brush.

12:43 Adam Chasing a 40 year old guy. Can't have one that says, hey, let's go.

12:48 Caller The whole picture of a separated tooth from the body. Yeah, it meant, you know, comically portrayed is just awful.

12:54 Adam I agree.

12:55 Caller Because a tooth should be in the context of other teeth and lips.

12:59 Drew Roots make such nice legs.

13:00 Caller Roots are awful.

13:02 Drew And then you put the face right in there on the side of the tooth.

13:05 Caller Doesn't help.

13:06 Adam Yeah, I don't need a tooth with a mouth.

13:08 Caller Wrong.

13:08 Adam I don't need like, yeah, the tooth with teeth holding a toothbrush and sword fighting with the gingivitis guy, you know, like just just give me a little heads up. I don't need the world to know I've missed a couple of dentist appointments. Just give me a little heads up. It's time to come in. By the way, when the gas company wants their money, they don't have like Mr. Heat Mizer with a flamethrower or something. It just says, you owe 30 bucks. You know what I'm saying? Why the dentist? Why we all become retarded when it comes to the dentist? Is there any other place that does that? I mean, you got you could drive a Lexus and it's time for servicing. Is there a car with big lipstick on it that's pouting? It's crying. It needs its oil change. Yes. Just get make some for kids. I understand.

13:52 And by the way, the kids don't get the mail.

13:54 Caller Right.

13:55 Drew Kids aren't interested in that.

13:56 Caller Kids never see it.

13:57 Adam The adult has to see him sword fighting with the floss.

14:00 Drew Right.

14:01 Caller Yeah.

14:02 Adam Let's work on that. This have some adult look. I want to look like I'm invited to a tooth cleaning. We formally request your presence.

14:09 Drew You need to clean your services out as a commencement speaker for dental schools. You know, let's set them all straight. Just one at a time, one dental school at a time.

14:17 Caller Maybe you should change dentists, because I actually did.

14:20 I went to the dentist's day to get a cleaning, and I got a little postcard in the mail.

14:23 Drew Today?

14:24 No, I got it last week.

14:25 That said, reminder, your cleaning is next week.

14:28 Drew But you went today.

14:28 Oh, I went today.

14:30 It was excellent. I had a wonderful experience.

14:32 Adam Wait a minute. What happened?

14:35 Drew She went for a cleaning today.

14:36 Adam Cleaning today because of a reminder.

14:38 Drew A week ago.

14:39 Adam Because of the reminder. But there wasn't a drawing of a giant tooth on there?

14:44 Caller I think there was a happy smile on it.

14:46 Adam All right.

14:47 Drew You know why I like to go?

14:47 Adam Is that the same shit crapping on my point?

14:49 No, no.

14:50 Drew She's telling you to change dentists, I think.

14:52 Adam I've been to every one of them has the same crappy reminder card.

14:54 Drew And you've been to a few.

14:55 Adam Yes. Sorry. Who was talking?

14:57 Drew Yeah.

14:58 Guest My uncle is my dentist and I got to say he has this thing that last time I went in, I had to get nitrous because of something he was doing.

15:05 Caller You don't want to be on nitrous with family.

15:06 Guest Well, he put on this video of a monkey brushing its teeth. A chimpanzee, I'm not kidding you, with a huge yellow toothbrush.

15:13 Drew During, while you're high on nitrous?

15:14 Guest While I'm high on nitrous while he was doing this stuff.

15:16 Caller Animals are funny.

15:18 Guest Amazing. Every dentist who is listening right now should please buy this DVD and play it while they're cleaning anybody's teeth.

15:23 Adam I swear to Christ.

15:26 Guest Phenomenal.

15:27 Adam Anderson, that's not brushing. That's not flossing either. But the one they had today, a seal brushing his teeth, by the way. I swear to God. That's the video I saw in the waiting room. And before.

15:39 Caller All right.

15:39 Adam And then one more pet peeve. And then we're taking some phone calls with the dentists. The the the pumice, the the pumice that they use to clean, you know, when they do the, you know, when they're painting a lot of.

15:50 Caller Yeah.

15:51 Adam No, cookie dough, cookie dough, cookie dough, cookie dough.

15:54 Drew I blame you for that because you were asking for more exotic flavors. Weren't you?

15:59 Adam What? What are you?

16:00 Caller Are you high?

16:02 Adam I was asking for more exotic flavors.

16:05 Drew Or more reason, more.

16:06 Adam No.

16:07 Drew You used something other than pina colada and you didn't specify.

16:10 Adam No, no. I said, look, what do they make toothpaste out of? That's the one you use, you idiots.

16:16 Drew Peppermint.

16:17 Adam Yeah, you don't use pina colada. First off, this stuff tastes like hell because it's pure pumice and there's like a little fluoride and it's never going to taste good. So don't try to make it taste good, just use what people are used to. They have like wild cherry, tropical, this and that, cookie dough. By the way-

16:33 Drew Did you try the cookie dough just to get angry?

16:35 Adam No, I just got angry. I didn't need to try it. But I was like, what kind of message is this to send your teeth, by the way? We're going to pound some cookie dough into it? And by the way, what about the kids? You're telling them not to eat that stuff. It's going to rot their teeth out. Now we're using it to clean your teeth? It doesn't make sense at all.

16:50 Drew You must be a commencement speaker.

16:51 Adam All right.

16:53 Your dentist is wacky.

16:54 Mine was spearmint flavor today.

16:57 Drew Well, that's what it's supposed to be.

16:58 Adam That's what it's supposed to be.

16:59 Caller They got the... A friend of mine has a kid who's got the pizza-flavored toothpaste.

17:03 Drew Oh my God.

17:04 Caller It's disgusting.

17:05 Adam Look, you would have to... You know how you would have to eat an entire kilo of weed to do that?

17:11 Drew Jason is 18.

17:13 Adam Jason, you're 18.

17:14 Drew We're good.

17:15 Adam I got to go to Michelle's dentist.

17:16 Drew I don't know.

17:17 Adam What's up?

17:18 Well, I just wanted to...

17:19 Drew All right.

17:20 Adam But look, all I'm saying is... No, but seriously, how terribly wrong could you go wrong? How far wrong could you go with something that actually tasted like toothpaste when you're cleaning people's teeth? Is that going to be outrage? How dare you? This doesn't taste like brisket. Is that what they're going to say? You're cleaning your teeth. It should taste like toothpaste.

17:39 Yes.

17:39 Drew I'm with you 100 percent. Yes, that's cookie dough.

17:41 Yes.

17:42 Adam All right. Or have the guts to really use cookie dough.

17:45 Drew Actual cookie dough.

17:46 Caller That's what I'm saying.

17:47 Drew I'm with you on that.

17:48 Adam Jason.

17:49 Caller Yeah, I'm a big fan of Loveline. I've been listening for a while, but I called tonight because I just saw Harold and Kumar go to White Castle about a week ago.

18:00 Caller You are good.

18:01 Guest You're awesome. What did you think?

18:03 Caller Oh, you know, honestly, I think it was probably one of the funniest movies that I've seen in, I don't know, a year or two. I loved it, honestly, it was great.

18:12 Drew I like the way it qualifies.

18:13 Guest Thanks, man.

18:14 Drew Let's see, it says Tuesday.

18:15 Adam That's the funniest one I've seen since the first.

18:19 Caller Well, yeah, I'm ripped right now, so this is kind of crazy. Yeah, yeah, this is nuts. But anyway, and I was wondering if there's going to be a sequel, because obviously the end led up like there was going to be a...

18:31 Caller Jason, my young friend, I'm glad you asked. The sequel, the end of the, for those of you who don't know, the, our movie ends with a promise of a sequel. It sort of sets up a sequel going to Amsterdam, and that would depend on the DVD sales. If we sell these babies, then we're probably going to make another one. We're signed on to do it.

18:52 Guest There's a certain number, financial number that they haven't told us, but if it hits that number or goes above that, then we'll get a sequel and that'll be called Harold and Kumar Go to Amsterdam. The script's actually written already.

19:02 Drew Adam, sidebar, this is so they get these guys out there to hustle those DVDs out there. It's going to be a sequel no matter what.

19:08 Adam Well, yeah. No, not necessarily.

19:10 Drew They get them to go out there. They say, oh, there'll be no sequel unless you guys sell these DVDs. You guys selling their asses off.

19:15 Adam Is that true?

19:16 Guest No, we honestly won't have a sequel unless it hits a certain number.

19:19 Caller We didn't do enough business theatrically to warrant it.

19:22 Adam Yeah, I feel like it was a good movie, made, did well, but not great, and this is, it's on the cusp, and by the way, they will do sequels to movies sometimes, that you're like, what?

19:35 Caller Yeah, yeah.

19:36 Adam Did another six-pack?

19:37 Caller What was that baby movie?

19:39 Guest What baby movie?

19:39 Caller Baby Geniuses.

19:41 Adam Oh, they did a sequel.

19:42 Caller I think we're on third.

19:44 Adam Well, they do that, they do that with kids movies especially, because they get hooked early and then they have to go, they have to go see the second one.

19:50 Guest Like, Look Who's Talking 2.

19:52 Caller Oh, all right, That's very true.

19:54 Adam Where are we going?

19:54 Guest Four.

19:55 Adam Four? Let's talk to... Lindsay. Lindsay?

19:58 Yeah.

19:59 Adam You're 17?

20:00 Caller Yeah. What's up? Well, my best friend came to me a few months ago, and he told me that he's liked me for two years now. And that's a big uh-oh, because I trust him with everything.

20:16 Drew Oh, you're not into him that way at all.

20:18 Adam What do you mean you trust him with everything?

20:19 Drew The uh-oh is that she trusted him, she's confiding in him, he's pining for her, and she got nothing for him.

20:27 Adam Yeah, I know.

20:28 Drew So, now what's she going to do with this?

20:30 Adam Well, what's the trust? Do you mean you think he's going to go talk to the press or something?

20:35 Caller No, no, no. See, there's another problem. He came to me and he said that he really liked me. So, I was like, okay, well, I'm sorry, I don't feel that way. So, he came back to me last Friday, and he said, well, I don't like you that way anymore. I felt like it was childish, but.

20:58 Adam Let me tell you what you have to do when you do that. I've tried it. You have to beat off, and then you have to get over there within 15 minutes. Otherwise, you know what it's like? It's like when you're sick and you vomit, you just vomit, you're like, a little reprieve, you get back in bed, and you're like, all right, this is good. I'm going to get a good 20 minutes in before I feel nausea for things to start spinning again. That's what it is. I would just do it out in the bushes, out in front of the house, and then just run in with my pants down.

21:26 Caller I don't feel the way I'm... Oh, I love you.

21:34 Caller No, I'm not leaving.

21:35 I don't care who hears.

21:37 Caller That's what happens.

21:38 Drew Oh, Lindsay. But, Lindsay, you're also worried because you lose your best friend, and you also have someone who's got a ton of information about you out there.

21:45 Adam Oh, what information?

21:45 Caller I'm not worried about him spilling anything about me.

21:48 Drew But you lose somebody you trust.

21:49 Caller I was really worried about my best friend.

21:51 Drew Yeah, you lose.

21:51 Caller His older brother came to me today, and now his older brother wants me to go out with him this weekend. And I told him no, and he asked me why. What?

22:01 Caller After the older brother came?

22:02 Caller His older brother came to me and asked me to go out.

22:06 Caller Oh my God, this is awful.

22:08 Caller So this is like a whole family drama thing.

22:12 Drew The big brother is an A-hole. And get rid of him.

22:15 Caller But the big brother doesn't know. And I can't tell the big brother.

22:18 Drew Well, don't bother. The big brother is sort of intruding on his brother's friend, even if he didn't know that he's a brother. He knows the brother is pining for you. I'm sure he knows it. A. B. Even if he didn't, it's inappropriate for him to sort of interfere with a friendship with his brother. Get him out. Whatever.

22:37 Adam Wait a minute. Quiet down. How old is he?

22:40 Caller The older one?

22:41 Adam Yeah.

22:42 Caller He is still 18.

22:46 Adam Still 18.

22:47 Caller Wow. All right.

22:47 Adam But as of 1201, he should be 23, right? He's still 18. Hold on. Let me yell it true for a sec. He's 18. He's a year older than her.

22:57 Drew The point is just kind of push him aside. Don't worry about him.

22:59 Adam Here's what I'm saying. Don't come down on this guy. This guy is several months older than Lindsay.

23:05 Drew No, no. I'm not saying. I'm not. I don't mean to...

23:07 Adam He sees his brother is not asked and not got off the pot in two years and he's coming down for a little act.

23:12 Drew I understand. But I'm not saying he's some sort of awful human being. I'm saying just, yeah, it's not appropriate.

23:18 Adam Well, she doesn't like him either.

23:19 Drew And thankfully she doesn't. But he'll be fine. All right.

23:21 Adam Lindsay.

23:22 Drew But she has to deal with this best friend thing. That's a much more serious problem.

23:24 Adam No. Let me handle this.

23:25 Caller That's my problem. I'm worried about losing my best friend and I can't talk to him about it without him...

23:31 Adam He's only your best friend because... He's only your best friend because he had the hots for you all this time.

23:36 Drew Do you understand that?

23:38 Caller Yeah. I do understand that. But that completely messes up everything because we have a group of like four really good friends. And we've all been really good friends for quite a few, like three years now.

23:52 Drew But he's been hanging in because he's had the hots for you the whole time. And by the way, he can still... Some people can sort of put a lid on that and still be your friend. It's a little painful for him, may not be a good thing for him.

24:03 Adam Again, every 15 minutes they're going to have to excuse themselves. Because it's like you become like a...

24:09 Caller 15, wow, this kid.

24:11 Adam 15 to 18.

24:12 Drew Depends how into it she is. He is.

24:14 Adam Yeah, you become like a pressure cooker with no relief valve.

24:19 Caller The point is, we should tell her that this friendship cannot be salvaged, right?

24:24 Drew No, it can be. It can be. But it's in a way not fair for him because he won't be able to get on to somebody else.

24:30 Caller I feel like, do this guy a favor and cut him off.

24:31 Drew In a way.

24:32 Adam We don't even know if it is a friendship because, I mean, it is, but you know what I'm saying? He's there because he's attracted you. So, Lindsay, why can't you be attracted to him? What's wrong with him? What do you got going?

24:43 Caller I'm more than willing to give him a try. This thing is the last. What? Okay. No, he's my really good friend. And if he really likes me and he wants me to... No, I'm not willing to commit and I'm not willing to really go there, but...

24:58 Drew Don't do it, Lindsay. Not in those terms. No, no, no, no.

25:01 Adam A version of a try is.

25:03 Caller No, what I'm saying is that I'd consider moving him from the friend category and I'd at least... Because I'd never even thought about that before.

25:10 Guest Have you hooked up with him?

25:11 Drew Into the war room.

25:11 Caller Depending on the oral test and the written examination.

25:15 Guest Have you hooked up already, Lindsay?

25:17 Drew No. No, no. Lindsay, generally speaking, unless you are... Because he is so into you, if you start going down this path and you don't find it there for yourself, it's really going to destroy him.

25:27 Adam Plus, you move a guy from friend into boyfriend category, then you have to find some other stooge patsy to come in and kiss your ass and that thing. And before you know it, the ship is on.

25:36 Drew And by the way, once he goes into boyfriend, he ain't going back to friend. At this stage, he can still maintain friend. Possibly.

25:44 Caller I can attempt to maintain friend here.

25:46 Adam Yeah. OK.

25:47 Drew All right.

25:47 Adam Well, listen, enjoy your hotness while it lasts. I can see you're having fun with it. You know what you got. Enjoy that hotness and just find find a guy. This is a problem that she don't torture radio show. Part of it was I'm so hot and it's really causing problems in my life. Let's enjoy it. Your name's Lindsay. You're hot. Enjoy. Some guy. Don't worry. There'll be guys to screw you over to. They're out there. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Here's the point. Yeah, don't screw it. Leave him alone.

26:18 Drew Yeah.

26:18 Adam Yes.

26:18 Drew Yes.

26:19 Adam Yes. Okay. Wait a minute. I'm going to talk to this guy.

26:22 Drew Okay.

26:22 Adam Dana.

26:24 Yeah. Hi.

26:25 Adam Dana, you're 17. What's up?

26:27 Caller Hi. Well, I can't believe I'm talking to you. I listen to you guys like every night.

26:31 Adam Cool.

26:32 Drew What's happening?

26:34 Caller Actually, I watch Food Network a lot and I saw that you, Adam, are going to be on his night dish with Rachel Ray tomorrow night.

26:40 Yeah.

26:41 Adam What is that? Everyone keeps talking about that.

26:43 Drew I guess a lot of people watch Food Channel again.

26:44 Adam I guess they do, but they never seem to talk about it.

26:47 Drew I've never heard of the show.

26:48 Adam I never heard of it either.

26:50 Caller It's Rachel Ray. She has like two or three shows on Food Network.

26:54 Adam Yeah, she's fun. She's like one of those spunky chicks who's really lively and probably has a eating disorder, but she's got a lot of personality.

27:00 Drew Good times.

27:01 Adam Well, I just mean she's got that.

27:02 Drew Ironic that she should be on the Food Channel.

27:03 Adam Yeah. No, she's fun and we went to that restaurant I own like a hundredth of and we sat there and pretended like it was fun.

27:09 Drew Did you like it?

27:10 Adam Yeah.

27:10 Caller What's your restaurant?

27:11 Adam It's a...

27:12 Drew A Malfi.

27:13 Adam A Malfi.

27:13 Drew A Malfi.

27:14 Adam Well, I don't know. A Malfi. Whatever. It's on La Brea. It's right by the Acme Theater there. Good food. Reasonable prices. So come on in. Tell them Adam sent you. Yeah. Get a free cobbler.

27:24 Drew Well, check it out and see what you think of it and call us back.

27:26 Adam All right.

27:27 Caller Thanks a lot.

27:27 Adam That was it? Oh, I thought she saw it.

27:30 Caller No, I want to keep it up. It's coming up tomorrow.

27:33 Adam Oh, okay. All right. No, I'm hip, but it said saw your... Oh, sorry. You're going to be on the Food... All right. I should never have taken that call.

27:39 Drew Thank you. Why would we put that call on? You see my note up there for you?

27:44 Adam What's your note for me?

27:45 Drew My one.

27:46 Adam You see my note for you?

27:47 Drew Yeah, I do.

27:48 Adam All right.

27:48 Drew You're number one, too.

27:49 Adam That's right. John Cho and Kal Penn here tonight. They are from Carol and Kumar. Go to White Castle out on DVD and a big double thumbs up from Ebert and Roper. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. John Cho, Kal Penn here tonight. Boy, four names, four syllables, Drew. That's the way I like it. Keep it moving. Let's go. Harold and ironically in a very windy title though. You know what I mean? Lot of words in there.

28:50 Drew Yeah.

28:51 Adam Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, everybody. It is out on DVD as we speak and got a nice recommendation from Ebert and Roper over the weekend.

29:03 Drew Now the unrated element in the DVD, is that because there is more stuff in here?

29:07 Caller Yeah, I think so.

29:08 Guest Yeah, there is some more nudity.

29:10 Drew The original film was R, right? Because I heard my kids wanted to see it and I wouldn't let them see it.

29:14 Guest It was a pretty hard R.

29:15 Caller It was a pretty hard R.

29:16 Drew And now it is not suitable for children. It succeeded that.

29:19 Guest It succeeded that and the great thing is that because there is no rating, young children can buy it.

29:23 Drew That is wonderful.

29:24 Caller I want to hand it to you guys.

29:26 Drew Well thought out.

29:26 Caller The extreme is also a reference to a bunch of guys. These pack of skateboarders in the movie who walk around. They're like the Mountain Dew parody kids who walk around going, extreme, extreme cheddar, extreme kayaking. And they just shout extreme with everything.

29:42 Adam Yeah, do the do.

29:43 Caller You know what I'm saying?

29:44 Adam I love that Mountain Dew, boy. Nectar the Tards. Yeah. You know my plan about putting a sterilization agent in that stuff.

29:55 Guest Is there already a rumor that there's some sort of...

29:58 Drew There's a rumor.

29:58 Adam I don't know. I wish that's one thing I'd like to substantiate. I really would. Now, I feel and look, I'm not saying you drink one and you can never have kids. But I'm saying you do more in a six pack a week and you will be rendered sterile for the time you're doing that. Nothing wrong with that.

30:13 Caller For the time that you're doing that.

30:15 Drew Well, Drew, make sense.

30:17 Adam Do you want a mother or father to drink more than a sixer of Mountain Dew a week?

30:20 Drew Sixer. Yeah.

30:21 Caller A week.

30:22 Drew Yeah. Okay.

30:22 Adam A week.

30:22 Drew Yeah.

30:23 Caller That's about right.

30:24 Adam Yeah.

30:25 Drew You need a can to put them out of commission for about 36 hours.

30:28 Adam Yeah. Oh my God. Imagine all the unwanted. I'll be awesome. What a utopia. A few years. Laura?

30:35 Caller Yeah.

30:37 Adam You're 18?

30:38 Caller Yes, I'm 18.

30:39 Adam What's up?

30:42 Caller Well, I wasn't expecting you to pick up. Okay, hi.

30:45 Adam Because I'm going to do 20 minutes on frutopia, by the way, if you don't start talking about a disappointment. You used to see those vending machines with all the fruit on them. Like, this is going to be great. This tastes like ass. This sucks. What happened to that crap? What were they thinking? I know. All right. Here we go. Should we be angry? You are. All right.

31:05 Caller What's up, Laura?

31:07 Caller Okay. I'm calling because I've been sleeping with my boyfriend for six months, and I can't have an orgasm during intercourse. During anything.

31:20 Drew Is this your first partner?

31:21 Caller Yeah.

31:23 Adam No oral sex won't do it?

31:26 Caller No. I mean, we haven't really done that a lot, like sort of, but not for long.

31:30 Drew Well, that's what's finally going to bring it around.

31:32 Adam Yeah, that's it.

31:33 Drew Most women at 18 do not have orgasm during a sexual relationship. Some can with oral sex. A majority of women do not have intercourse ever in their life during intercourse.

31:44 Adam I mean, an orgasm during intercourse. Laura?

31:49 Caller Oh, is that what you're saying?

31:51 Adam Well, here's the deal. There's not, well, here's the thing about a woman. Women are constantly evolving.

31:58 Drew Right. They get more hooked up. The wire, things come on line as they age.

32:02 Adam Yeah. That's right. You're being slowly wired as you get older. You're not, it's not near in place at 17, 18. No. It'll be in place at 27, 28.

32:14 Drew Here's the question that will let us know how far in she is in terms of her wiring. Does she have orgasm by herself?

32:20 Caller Yes.

32:21 Adam You do.

32:22 Caller Definitely.

32:24 Caller Is there another person there?

32:26 Adam By the way, let me ask this. Do dudes do this where they go like, yes, I do.

32:33 Drew Look at their friend and laugh.

32:35 Adam Just look at spontaneously erupt the laughter and then straighten out again and answer again. I know my friends would hit me with their shoe if I did that.

32:42 Drew Shoe?

32:42 Adam Yeah. Guys don't do that because it makes the other person feel good. They'd be like, you douchebag, you're stupid. Shut up. Shut up. Queer bait.

32:54 Caller Queer bait.

32:56 Adam Queer bait.

32:57 Caller Wow.

32:58 Caller Laura?

32:59 Caller Yeah.

33:00 Adam Okay. So why don't you get him to give you some oral sex? That's probably your best shot.

33:05 Caller I know, but like we have before, but I've never even felt close.

33:10 Drew Does he not know what he's doing?

33:11 Caller I'm not sure.

33:13 Guest Can you show him what to do?

33:15 Adam She doesn't know.

33:16 Caller I don't know what to happen.

33:18 Drew Well, here's the deal. It's not going to happen during intercourse. You can give up that notion. That's not going to happen. Okay. And it may happen at some point in your life as you age, but most women, it doesn't happen.

33:30 Caller Yeah, during intercourse.

33:31 Caller But I could tell him about oral, like do that.

33:35 Drew Or whatever it is you do by yourself.

33:38 Adam What do you do by yourself?

33:52 Caller Okay, by myself? Pretty much anything that by myself.

34:03 Caller Can we get the dude to like, just man the machinery at first?

34:07 Adam Yeah, how about that? Wait, why? He can hold whatever is vibrating at the time.

34:13 Caller The washing machine.

34:14 Adam Yeah, whatever is moving.

34:16 Caller I can sit on the washing machine while he goes down on me.

34:24 Adam Clean that lint trap, okay.

34:33 Caller Yeah.

34:33 Adam Yeah, so here's the thing. Whatever technique that you employ to have your master book, masterbatorial experience, maybe he can, you can incorporate him into that.

34:44 Drew Incorporate him, incorporate him into the whole thing. That's the end, it'll expand from there, okay?

34:49 Caller Okay, that sounds good. I have someone who wants to say hi to you though, because Adam, he thinks you're awesome. So hold on one second, okay? Just a quick.

34:57 Drew Oh, God put her up to this. That's the thing.

34:59 Caller Oh, really?

35:00 Drew Adam.

35:00 Adam All right. What's happening?

35:03 Caller Just hanging, man. I just want to say you rock.

35:05 Adam Thanks, brother. And you're not the- Yeah. So is Drew. Yeah.

35:10 Caller Dr. Phil.

35:11 Adam Yeah. And is, are you the boyfriend?

35:15 Caller Maybe.

35:18 Adam Hold on. We should do more laughing. We really should, Drew. Don't you hear those other radio shows, those morning zoos, like Big Boy and stuff? People are laughing their ass off. You just sit there with that puss on all the time.

35:33 Drew Keeping it real. Yeah.

35:44 Adam That's all the people have laughed at our show, and that's all of it over ten years. I think that's Tom Hanks. All right, Anderson. Jackie?

35:58 Caller Yeah.

35:59 Adam You're twenty-two?

36:00 Caller Yeah.

36:05 Adam Oh, that's Jed the Fish. Get him into treatment room, please.

36:12 Caller Oh, no. Oh, yes.

36:14 Adam Yes, treatment.

36:15 Drew Jackie, what's up?

36:17 Guest Yeah, I've been married for almost three years now, and my husband and I had a good sexual relationship earlier in our marriage. And after I had my daughter, it's like he didn't really want to have sex with me anymore. And all he wants is oral sex. And if we do have sex, it's like he's like done in two minutes. And like he won't even try. He won't even give me an orgasm or anything.

36:46 Drew Adam couldn't hang with this dude. We could be best buddies.

36:51 Adam He likes oral, he finishes fast. Won't give oral to her. Here's so I know this will complete the trifecta. Does he do that?

36:59 Caller Don't look at me.

37:01 Adam Because then we can really hang.

37:03 Guest Well, I've caught him masturbating before and I've found on the computer that he...

37:07 Adam Where is he? Where are you out in Arizona? Southwest, they have a red eye? About 2 a.m. I'm coming out there.

37:14 Drew To hang with your husband.

37:15 Caller Yeah.

37:17 Adam And I'll just do that to... We are one and we do that Indian handshake. And then we both go to separate parts of the house and beat off. Yeah, awesome. All right, so Jackie, this is what guys do often times. Not the passionate Drew, but guys that you have kids, the intimacy starts leaving the marriage.

37:34 Drew You know what though? It's a bad sign.

37:36 Caller It's a bad sign.

37:37 Adam You know what though? I think it's, I think it's, I think guys by nature are lazy when it comes to the relationship. Not lazy when it comes to work or anything else, but they can get lazy and a woman has to sort of yank the chain a little and keep them in line. I know this sounds trite.

37:53 Drew No, no, that's absolutely true. Men have a bad instinct for relationships. And women need to have a great instinct for it and they need to kind of pop them guy once in a while.

38:00 Adam Let me say this. I think, I think women, I think men have the same instinct toward relationships that women have toward cars. Which is, the men are constantly saying, no, you can't just get in and drive every day. You have to check the tire pressure when you go in, check the oil, get it serviced. And the woman's feeling it's like, it works, it's fine. But it'll break down. It'll break down when you, ah, it works fine. That's right. Men do that with relationships. Like, I don't need to pack any picnic baskets or tell anyone I love them. We're in a groove, everything's working, everything's running fine. And the chick is going, you gotta talk, you gotta check the tires, we're gonna break down.

38:40 Drew You're right, I am the chick.

38:41 Adam It starts this morning, it's fine, it works out fine. And then they come home and the chick's moved out.

38:46 Drew Yeah.

38:46 Adam And it's like, what happened? You threw a rod. You didn't listen, you didn't check the oil. But it was running. That was yesterday. And that's what happens. And I think women need to do that.

38:56 Drew Yes, you're absolutely right.

38:57 Adam And not with all guys. Once in a while, a post comes down the pike like Drew. He doesn't need any of that stuff. And there are handfuls of guys that way.

39:04 Drew I get it still.

39:05 Adam You get it anyway. But I mean, there are a lot of guys that are, and I hate those guys. You know what these guys are? She's my best friend. And like, get the hell out of here. What are you guys even talking? You're supposed to be talking. What do you mean best friend? No, no. But you know, you know, you guys are young. Believe me, you'll hit your pace.

39:23 Caller Can I just make something? 22 is pretty early, right, to be having this layoff. I mean, he shouldn't be just...

39:29 Drew It says on that little screen here. He's 31.

39:30 Caller Oh, he's 31, okay.

39:32 Drew But yes, three years in a relationship is very sad. Some guys pull back really after a baby. That's when they freak out a little bit.

39:38 Adam How long...

39:39 Guest When did you have your baby?

39:40 Adam Oh, she had... How old is your baby, Jackie?

39:43 Guest She's two and a half.

39:44 Adam No, so...

39:46 Guest It's been happening for a while.

39:47 Adam Now, you guys...

39:47 Drew I would really recommend some marital therapy. I would.

39:50 Adam There's that, too. There's that. And then there's also just saying to the guy, look, I need a little more of this and a little more of that. And 90% of guys will come around.

40:01 Guest Well, I have, but he's just like... Like, he just doesn't, you know, he'll be... I'll catch him in the laundry room with the door closed.

40:08 Drew Does he... Does he specify that there's a problem?

40:10 Adam Is he doing something to, like, the snuggle bear or something? Why the... What kind of... What kind of pathetic guy beats off in the laundry room?

40:17 Guest Well, he doesn't want me catching him, so... Because he knows...

40:19 Adam Hold on, how small is your house? And his choice is the dining room and the laundry room?

40:23 Guest Like...

40:24 Drew No bathrooms?

40:25 Adam No bathroom in the house? I can't have a quiet dignity of doing a thing where I bite my shirt? And look at myself in the mirror?

40:33 Caller Oh!

40:34 Adam Not that?

40:36 Caller Wow.

40:37 Adam Wow.

40:38 Caller Wow.

40:38 Caller You paint a picture.

40:39 Caller Well, that's his job.

40:42 Drew So, Jackie, yeah, I'm a little concerned about this. I really am. Just a little bit off the chart.

40:48 Guest Well.

40:48 Drew It's happened too quick and it's a little bit too clandestine and a little bit too much.

40:53 Adam Okay.

40:53 Drew And a little bit too unwilling to even engage with you in a discussion about it.

40:57 Adam Jackie, you...

40:58 Guest Well, I mean, if I try, you know, if I try doing something to him, he's like, no, not right now. I'm tired.

41:03 Drew Well, you know that's BS. Stop that. Don't take that. Don't take BS as though it's true.

41:07 Adam Well, what do you mean, BS? How do you know it's BS? Well, Drew, you're a passionate man. You don't understand. You know what I mean?

41:14 Drew Does the man get tired?

41:16 Adam No, I just mean I don't know what's going on with him.

41:18 Drew I don't either, but I know that something's wrong.

41:20 Adam Okay, so look, here it is. Here's the deal. He must participate in the relationship.

41:26 Drew That's right.

41:26 Adam Not hover around it. So if you... He either has to go... Yeah, he's got to go to therapy with you and you guys got to work on it or he has to work on it. Or here's what you can do, too. The threat of therapy will straighten guys out sometimes, too. And it's for his own good.

41:41 Drew Has your body changed since the baby?

41:44 Guest Well, I mean, I'm obviously not the same that I was before I had my baby, but I still look good.

41:51 Drew But there's not been a dramatic change in some respect?

41:54 Guest Well, not really. About 20 pounds, but I was like 105 pounds before, so.

42:01 Adam 20 pounds, but it's all on her right cheek, every ounce.

42:05 Drew That's right. All right.

42:07 Adam You got to motivate him and then scare him. But don't sleep with one of his friends or do anything stupid like that.

42:14 Guest No, I would never do that.

42:16 Adam Okay. That's how you got to wake guys up. What women do, it's the car breaking down, that's them sleeping with the friend.

42:23 Drew This guy's going to shake him.

42:25 Adam Yeah.

42:25 Drew You have to like etch a sketch.

42:27 Adam Yeah. Drew, what is that impulse for you to talk and cuddle? What is that? You don't have guy things. You don't like guys. You don't want to hang out with anybody.

42:36 Drew No, I do.

42:37 Adam No, you don't.

42:37 Drew No, I do.

42:38 Adam No, you don't. No, you don't. But you do. But you do. But no, you don't. You know what I'm saying?

42:44 Drew I don't need it.

42:45 Adam Here's the thing with Drew. The thing that's weird about Drew is Drew's social and he likes doing things and he likes conversation and he's active, but he has no guy thing in him. He doesn't go, he never goes anywhere with guys. And it's not because he couldn't.

43:00 Drew I don't need it.

43:01 Caller It's because you were made by female scientists in a laboratory.

43:06 Drew I don't need it. I enjoy it. I don't need it.

43:07 Adam He's a wuss.

43:08 Drew You know what it is? I have to pay attention to, I should do more of it. I should pay attention to make sure I do more of it.

43:13 Adam Yeah, but what is it that you don't have the impulse?

43:16 Drew That's the part I don't understand.

43:17 Adam Why can't you do that? I know there's a little PWIP action going on.

43:21 Drew No, it's really not that. It's more the workaholism takes precedent.

43:26 Adam You make everything you turn into that, but you do tons of things that aren't work related. Oh, don't give me that. First off, you're traveling all over the place for nickels, please. You're away from your family all the time. That's work. Yeah, but the compensation isn't good enough.

43:43 Drew I enjoy that.

43:45 Adam But you enjoy it. Here's what I'm saying. Can you free yourself up to do anything that doesn't fall in the heading of work? Because you like doing all the things like...

43:56 Drew Can we have this conversation off the air? All right.

44:00 Adam This is heavy.

44:02 Drew All right. We are actually on the air now, I believe, so okay.

44:05 Adam We're taking about 20 minute break.

44:07 Drew Yeah, yeah.

44:07 Adam Okay, buddy.

44:09 Drew You guys take over.

44:10 Caller You guys can do the show, right?

44:12 Guest Yeah, we'll handle it. You guys come back in.

44:14 Adam College grads.

44:15 Caller Use the egg.

44:17 Drew Don't use the F word or the S word.

44:18 Guest I can say vagina, though, right? Of course.

44:20 Caller Yeah.

44:21 Guest Very good. They're all set.

44:22 Caller All right.

44:23 Adam John Cho here. Kal Penn here tonight from Harold and Kumar. Go to White Castle. Out on DVD. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

44:56 Guest Welcome back to Loveline. This is Kal Penn.

44:58 Caller This is John Cho. We're an Addictions Medicine Specialist. And no, I'm not.

45:04 Guest We're taking over.

45:06 Caller What do we got?

45:07 Guest They've stepped out arguing, so we're going to go to line one.

45:13 Caller Hello.

45:15 Guest Hello.

45:16 Caller Mike, you are what age?

45:19 Guest I am 24.

45:20 Caller Mike, you're 21.

45:21 Guest This is Kal and John.

45:23 Guest How are you doing?

45:24 Guest Good, man.

45:25 Caller How are you?

45:26 Guest Pretty good. Just had a few questions for you guys.

45:29 Guest Yeah, go ahead.

45:30 Guest I really enjoyed you guys and Harold and Kumar. Just wondering if you guys will be starring in another movie together.

45:37 Caller We're looking to make Harold and Kumar go to Amsterdam.

45:40 Guest That'll hopefully happen. Depending on the box office results for, I don't know if you can even call box office, the receipts from the DVD. So if you enjoyed it, please go buy it. Tell your friends to buy it.

45:50 Caller You have chlamydia?

45:52 Guest No, I do not have chlamydia.

45:53 Caller That's good.

45:54 Caller That stuff burns.

45:55 Caller It's awful.

45:57 Guest Do you guys have chlamydia?

45:59 Caller No.

45:59 Guest Cho, you had chlamydia, right? No? Wow. This just gave me the dirtiest look.

46:04 Caller These guys really earn their money. We're really sinking here.

46:07 Guest No STDs on our side.

46:09 Drew I will create time. We're going to go to Vegas next week.

46:12 Caller We just fell off.

46:14 Caller We fell off.

46:16 Drew What happened, guys?

46:17 Caller What's the matter?

46:18 Caller Nothing. It was going swimmingly.

46:20 Adam Did you guys take a call?

46:21 Caller Yeah, we did.

46:21 Guest Yeah, it was Mike.

46:24 Adam Went OK?

46:24 Caller Yeah, it was fine.

46:25 Guest He had chlamydia. Poor guy.

46:26 Drew You're right, Adam. I should do more of that kind of thing. You're right. Yeah.

46:29 Guest All right. All right.

46:30 Adam See, that's not bad. It just took an extra couple of minutes to pound it out. That's all. What's going on?

46:39 Caller Yeah, I had a question for Harold and Kumar.

46:42 Guest What's up, man?

46:43 Caller I was wondering what your guys' stances were on the legalization of marijuana.

46:50 Drew I'll take that.

46:51 Guest Wait a minute.

46:52 Drew I'll take it. I'm actually in favor of legalization of marijuana.

46:54 Caller You are.

46:54 Guest I actually am.

46:55 Adam You didn't ask.

46:56 Drew No, but I'm going to loosen it up so these guys feel more comfortable doing it. That I am sick and tired of not being able to have a reasonable discussion about this drug because every time somebody brings up, people go, well, cigarettes and alcohol are illegal. You're right. Our laws as it pertains to substances are irrational. Irrational. I'm in favor of looking at the whole thing, rescinding the Harrison Narcotic Act of 1912-11 and making a rational set of laws based on how people actually relate to substances.

47:29 Guest Two things come to mind when you ask me that question. Number one is how teachers in high school always used to tell us that if you smoke a joint, you're going to be homeless the next day. That was pretty much the correlation. Then suddenly all the kids in our honors classes who were smoking weed are going to Yale. Somebody's lying somewhere along the line.

47:46 Drew They're exaggerating. The fact is marijuana is one of the most common drugs of addiction we treat in inpatient setting right now. It is a profoundly addictive drug for some people.

47:55 Guest Psychologically or physiologically?

47:57 Drew There's only one kind of addiction. You can either stop or you can't stop. When you can't stop, it's because of a profound biological event. They have something very similar to heroin addiction in terms of what it's doing to their brain. But most people...

48:09 Adam That's after 20 years.

48:11 Drew No, no, no. It's actually fairly within a few months, actually.

48:14 Adam But they're not near treatment after a few months.

48:16 Drew We get them within a year sometimes.

48:18 Adam Yeah, their dad drags them in.

48:19 Drew No, no, no, no. I don't want to get into this, but the fact is some people have a rapid deceleration to a depression with that. They switch over to amphetamine and then we get them. All right. But the fact is, though, that for most people alcohol and pot is about the same thing. Except there's some stuff, evidence under A-16, that it can delay growth things, but it's about the same.

48:41 Guest Except that according to those commercials, your money goes to the terrorists if you buy weed.

48:44 Drew That's right. That's that, too.

48:45 Adam Yeah. Well, here's the problem with this country is we've somehow convinced everyone in it that drugs are drugs and that there's no difference between speed and marijuana and any, or cocaine and marijuana or alcohol and marijuana. Anybody who knows anything about anything knows like if you're hanging out with somebody, you want them high on weed, not high on speed. High on speed, you're liable to get in a fight, they're liable to stab you, they're going to run off the road, they're going to do whatever. It's a different drug. It's different. And it's different on different people. But in general, if someone said, look, do you want a whole bunch of people out there high on speed or a whole bunch of people out there high on weed? I mean, weed, it'd be a slowed down utopia we'd be living in. And speed, everyone just be, you know, parents would be stabbing their kids.

49:32 Caller I just don't see also how it does anybody any good for a person who smokes a joint to be in jail.

49:37 Drew Yeah. Well, that's, I think that to me, that's the core issue in all of our laws that pertain to substance use. It's not a realistic reflection of what, how humans relate to substances and how they should be managed if they have a problem related to substances.

49:51 Adam Yeah. And the idea with these, you know, mandatory minimums that some of these guys are in there for 12, 15 years for selling some tabs at a Grateful Dead concert, where they pose no physical threat to society is ridiculous. And I would also argue that this sort of, if you have more than, you know, basically an ounce of weed, somehow there's the presumption that you wanted to distribute it. Don't they have to prove that? It doesn't, you know, they find a bunch of guns and a ski mask in your car, they can't arrest you for robbing a bank unless you're robbing a bank. They catch you with a pound of weed, I don't care what time it is, they catch you with a pound of weed. What, you were going to sell it? Well, don't you have to catch me selling it? I might just like to stock up on weed. I agree. I shop at Smart and Final. Go check. I got a thing of garbanzo beans, a 55-gallon drum, and you think I'm selling them? Don't you got to prove that? I'm outraged. We're going to talk more about this. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, out on DVD. Go get some spleef. Go out and get that, and we'll be right back after this.

51:02 Caller All right, guys. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

51:07 Caller One call is all you need to make.

51:08 Caller Call the Dateline.

51:09 Guest 877-889-DATE.

51:39 Adam Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. John Cho, Kal Penn here tonight from Harold in Kumar. Go to White Castle out on DVD as we speak. And we're just talking about drugs and legalizing drugs and legalizing marijuana and so on and so forth. Here's my thing on those, you know, commercials that's like, listen, you buy pot and you fund the terrorist. You make pot legal, we don't fund the terrorist, you jackasses. You let me have a pot plant in my backyard without threat of getting my house taken away. We don't fund the terrorist anymore. You are creating a black market for something obviously people want and people refuse to stop using because they don't have a problem with it. People like marijuana, they seem to be able to be successful and deal with marijuana. A lot of people do. Either way, that's their prerogative. You don't have to tell them to floss. You don't have to tell them what to eat or when to exercise. If they want to smoke weed, that's their business. So you're creating the black market which is funding the terrorists.

52:46 Guest It's also there are so many people that are incarcerated from marijuana related quote unquote crimes and they disproportionately affect urban communities and there's less money for social welfare programs and there's more people being locked up and like John and I were just talking about prisons being privatized. So there's a lot of money being made off of people being put in jail for crimes related to marijuana.

53:07 Caller To bring it back to our movie, I'll say, in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. Yes. There's two extremely funny scenes.

53:14 Drew What's the movie again?

53:15 Caller Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. Good culture. There's a, my two favorite scenes. There's a spoof marijuana, anti-drug commercial that's hilarious. There's also a scene where a montage of Cal romancing a bag of weed and marrying it.

53:32 Caller Yeah.

53:34 Adam That's what I'm talking about.

53:35 Drew That's art imitating life right there.

53:39 Adam I really, I swear one day soon, I almost have enough FU money, by the way, for the government.

53:45 Drew To do what?

53:46 Caller He's a literal millionaire.

53:47 Adam I'm literally a millionaire. Literally a millionaire. I have some FU money for Hollywood.

53:52 Drew Oh my God.

53:52 Adam But I don't have enough for the government yet.

53:54 Drew You could be literally a multimillionaire.

53:57 Adam I could literally be a multimillionaire.

53:59 Drew Imagine that day.

54:00 Adam Literally. Literally.

54:01 Guest Literally.

54:03 Adam Literally a multimillionaire.

54:04 Drew I never, I really, you're.

54:06 Adam Literally.

54:07 Drew That will be quite a day.

54:08 Adam But here's what I like to do when I get enough FU money, a few more years. I would like to just grow a pot plant in my yard in front of God and everyone and just do it.

54:18 Drew Or take it on, take on the system.

54:19 Adam Take them on.

54:20 Drew Yeah.

54:20 Adam Do you want to take my house? First off, first, you can't prove I'm doing anything with this pot plant. I'm not selling it. I'm consuming it. It's my plant. It's my property. I'm doing it. Just like if I want to make my own beer in the, in the basement. That's my business. And I really think you could win.

54:37 Drew You'd have to organize it carefully.

54:39 Adam And I can't stand the fact that these righty hypocrites, all these gun-toting pussies, don't stand up for people who want to do this. Because their whole thing is like, it's never about guns. It's just about, it's about government. No, government. I'm not going to have some jackbooted thug come on to my property and tell me how to conduct my life. That's their whole thing. And then when a guy grows a pot plant, he's like, take that hippie, throw him in the hole and throw away the key. It's like, what? This is his gun. That pot plant? That bong? That's his rifle. That's my weapon of choice, that bong, Drew. I'll give you the el cabong. Take your head off with that thing. The point is, is you're both talking about the same thing. That's why the right guy, that's why the right's a hypocrite, because they never stop talking about intrusion of government.

55:26 Caller And they want to talk about who can be in your bedroom. Yeah.

55:29 Drew Right. Right.

55:30 Caller And I'm all for gay people.

55:31 Caller No.

55:32 Drew No.

55:32 Adam And the left are idiots too, as well. But I really do think you could grow a big pot plant.

55:36 Drew We hate extremists on either side.

55:38 Adam We hate both sides. But I think you could grow a pot plant, get enough money, get enough attorney. Get that attorney with the ponytail and the beard I always see on TV, and get him to protect you.

55:47 Drew All right.

55:47 Adam You pay him in pot. You pay him in pot.

55:49 Drew Oh, that's interesting.

55:50 Adam Pay him in pot.

55:51 Drew No, I got a guy. I got a plan in mind.

55:53 Adam Oh, you do? Ashley?

55:56 Caller Yeah.

55:56 Adam You're 18?

55:58 Caller Yes.

55:59 Adam What's going on, baby doll?

56:01 Caller I don't know. Oh, that's good radio.

56:05 Adam Yeah.

56:06 Drew Let's start this off.

56:07 Adam Let's get back to consensual victimless crimes. Prostitution is something we could go ahead and not work so hard on either.

56:14 Drew What is it you don't know about, Ashley?

56:16 Caller Okay.

56:17 Guest I have a really good question. I've been with my share of guys. I've never had orgasmed with any of them during sexual intercourse, which is-

56:30 Drew Well, you heard us talking earlier to a girl that that's normal. Very, very few women have orgasm during intercourse, especially at your age.

56:37 Guest Okay. That's what I thought. I thought it was like a maturity thing, like I'm not supposed to, but-

56:41 Drew It's not even a maturity. Some of it is that, but ultimately most women don't have an orgasm during intercourse.

56:47 Guest Okay. Well, that kind of explains it, but listen to this. This is what's going to freak you out. Okay.

56:55 Guest I'm ready.

56:57 Guest I just got this new job and my manager, I just found out she's a lesbian and we have been flirting like crazy.

57:05 Caller It is insane.

57:06 Guest It's a fun to me. I think it's totally fun. I have a great time doing it, but I'm like, I feel like attracted to her in a way and I'm having weird dreams about girls.

57:17 Caller It's scaring me.

57:18 Guest I don't know.

57:19 Adam I'm blown away, dude.

57:20 Drew I'm freaked out.

57:22 Adam That's so abnormal.

57:23 Drew I'm leaving.

57:24 Adam Yeah. Drew can't hang. Drew has never heard this question before. Have you, Drew?

57:28 Drew I'm too freaked out to talk.

57:29 Adam You're training to prepare you for this? You're never prepared. There's nothing in a textbook that prepares you for an 18-year-old chick talking to a chick she works with. Is there, Drew? You didn't know this existed, did you? But Drew, you've been doing this show for what? Close to 20 years now and you thought you'd heard everything until now. Oh, yes. Until now.

57:50 Drew An 18-year-old talking to her boss. Who's a female?

57:57 Guest How to answer that question.

57:58 Adam Don't even talk! I can't wrap my mind around this thing. Okay, hold on. I got to breathe a new bag or something. Drew, let's get the bag around. I'm hyperventilating. I'm having a panic attack.

58:14 Caller Yeah.

58:16 Adam Man, I wonder what that conversation would be like.

58:20 Drew Let's find out. Let's find out. Can we handle it?

58:22 Adam I don't know. I don't know.

58:24 Drew I got to know.

58:25 Adam I don't know. Ashley?

58:30 Drew What kind of things do you say to your boss?

58:33 I actually just asked her this the other day.

58:34 Guest I asked her what they do. I was like, oh, so what do you guys do when you're with each other, you know?

58:41 Guest It's like completely unreasonable.

58:43 Caller I can't believe it. Oh, wow!

58:46 Drew Oh, humanity.

58:47 Guest What do they do?

58:51 Drew What else do you ask?

58:52 Guest She's the girly one in the relationship.

58:54 Caller So I guess she just listen.

58:58 Caller She takes it, I guess.

58:59 Caller He wants to say whatever.

59:00 Guest But I asked her, I was like, so, you know, what is it like and everything? She said it's really fun. She said, you'll never know. You'll you'll never want to go back to a guy once you've been with a girl.

59:10 Adam Yeah. That's what that dude said to me.

59:13 Caller Oh my God.

59:14 Caller Somebody hold the phones.

59:16 Caller I can't believe that.

59:18 Adam I should have never believed that dude.

59:20 Never.

59:22 Drew Now, listen, Ashley, naturally enough, this is sort of a fun and playful and even highly arousing interaction.

59:28 Adam Is she hot?

59:30 Caller She's got big boobs and I mean, she's like, I guess.

59:37 Adam Okay. Big boobs.

59:39 Drew It doesn't necessarily mean anything. It may mean something. Maybe it's the beginning of something for you.

59:44 Adam No.

59:45 Drew But I don't think so. I think you're just sort of aroused by the whole interaction.

59:50 Guest Like going down on a chick. What's that all about?

59:55 Adam Yeah.

59:56 Drew It's all part of this whole sort of fantasy you're living in.

59:59 Guest Yeah.

59:59 Guest I think you should hook it up.

1:00:01 Adam Yeah.

1:00:01 Guest Why not? The only issue is that it's your boss. So I don't know how that's going to work out.

1:00:06 Drew That's not good. That is not good.

1:00:08 Guest Maybe find another girl.

1:00:09 Drew What kind of work do you do?

1:00:11 Guest I work out.

1:00:14 Caller It's like a Best Buy kind of thing.

1:00:17 Guest I'm a lead cashier.

1:00:20 Adam Lead cashier.

1:00:21 Caller Push some buttons. Yeah.

1:00:22 Adam That's like lead that.

1:00:24 Drew She could be a lesbian.

1:00:25 Caller That's like the number one chair in a violin, like in an orchestra, a lead cashier.

1:00:30 Caller So it's oboe.

1:00:31 Adam She's a soloist cashier. Dipping at your heels. You got everyone looking to knock you know, when you're on top in the cashier world, everyone wants to take you down.

1:00:39 Drew She's in Orange County.

1:00:40 Adam All right. We've probably been there.

1:00:41 Drew Yeah.

1:00:42 Guest Circuit City.

1:00:43 Adam Yeah. Maybe it was that place where that snotty nose six-year-old chick came up to me and went, I used to be a big an**hole in real life as you are on TV.

1:00:53 Guest Oh, wow.

1:00:54 Adam Remember that?

1:00:54 Guest Yes.

1:00:55 Drew I remember Adam that going, beat it.

1:00:57 Adam That's all I said to her and she ran away. Beat it.

1:00:59 Drew I like that.

1:00:59 Adam It was awesome. It was like Pops Corolla. I swear, Drew, please, tell me one more. I just want to say one word to her.

1:01:06 Drew Well, you didn't even look up. You didn't look up.

1:01:08 Adam She ran.

1:01:08 Drew Beat it. Waves her way.

1:01:09 Caller Beat it.

1:01:10 Drew And she goes, Oh, you aren't being an ass.

1:01:12 Caller Beat it. Beat it.

1:01:13 Drew That was it.

1:01:14 Adam She wasn't running away.

1:01:15 Guest That's awesome. I love that those two words just made her run away.

1:01:18 Adam Beat it is awesome. It's really it's like one of your dad's friends coming down on it.

1:01:22 Guest Yeah. Can we bring that one back?

1:01:23 Adam Please bring Beat It back.

1:01:25 Guest Bring Beat It back.

1:01:26 Adam It's solid.

1:01:27 Guest That and get lost.

1:01:28 Caller Get lost. Yeah.

1:01:30 Adam And then Scram can't be far behind.

1:01:32 Caller Scram, no. No.

1:01:34 Caller Yes.

1:01:35 Caller Scram is good.

1:01:36 Adam Yeah.

1:01:37 Drew Amscray.

1:01:38 Adam No, no, no. What are you doing? What was that? I don't know what that was.

1:01:42 Caller You guys know what that was?

1:01:44 Drew No, nobody knows.

1:01:45 Adam I don't know. I wish someone could explain to me what that was, Drew. Calling all nerds. Do we have to talk again? Amscray. Jennifer? Yeah. Jennifer, you're 15? Jennifer?

1:01:59 Caller You're a sexy penis.

1:02:04 Drew What was that?

1:02:04 Adam A lot of weirdos tonight.

1:02:05 Caller It really is, huh? Lots of women.

1:02:08 Adam A lot of shows would have hung up on you by now, but not us.

1:02:11 Drew I blame John and Kal for bringing in the whack jobs.

1:02:16 Adam You do. You guys.

1:02:17 Drew The Bogasi, in fact.

1:02:18 Adam Thank you. You're the flame to the wacky moth.

1:02:21 Drew It must have been that four minutes you guys did by yourself. You didn't even brought them in.

1:02:24 Caller Yeah.

1:02:25 Adam That was only about 30 seconds. It felt like four minutes.

1:02:27 Caller Thank you.

1:02:28 Drew Jennifer, are you there?

1:02:31 Guest I think it was just the thing that said that I had a nice penis that recorded.

1:02:35 Caller She was talking about you.

1:02:36 Guest Oh, yeah. It said Cal, specifically.

1:02:38 Caller Oh, I see. No, I didn't realize that.

1:02:39 Guest It was the penis she was talking about.

1:02:41 Adam Janet, oh, by the way, is Cal, is that true? Yes, hello, gentlemen. Hold on. Hold on a second. Is Cal short for something kooky that I can make fun of?

1:02:48 Guest Yeah, Kal Penn.

1:02:49 Adam Oh.

1:02:50 Guest Not really anything too weird.

1:02:51 Adam Yeah. Yeah, I was telling her something really wacky. Janet.

1:02:57 Caller Yes, hello, gentlemen.

1:02:58 Adam What's up?

1:02:59 What's going on?

1:03:01 Caller My problem, I'll get right to the question.

1:03:03 Adam Hold on. Cal, what are you?

1:03:05 Drew You got to get to this question.

1:03:07 Adam I'm going to get to it. But Cal, what's your nationality?

1:03:10 Guest Nationality or ethnicity?

1:03:11 Adam Ethnicity.

1:03:12 Guest Indian.

1:03:12 Adam Indian. Remember we were talking about the dot the other day?

1:03:15 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:03:15 Adam We'll get to the bottom of it.

1:03:17 Guest It's a it's a it's a symbol in Hinduism. It's called symbolic.

1:03:21 Drew It's a Praman sign, right?

1:03:22 Guest No, it's it's called a bindi. It's a symbolic third eye. So who gets them? Traditionally, women after marriage will get them. But it's also it's also part of religious ceremony, I think, in Buddhism also.

1:03:35 Drew Well, somebody came out and said it was Hindu and it was a caste sign.

1:03:38 Guest No, it's not a caste.

1:03:40 Adam OK. I hate.

1:03:41 Guest I mean, wait. Also, I'm not like the spokesperson for the billion people that live in India. So there may be different variations of it. The endosomes are pretty liberal.

1:03:48 Adam First of all, I say I hope all billion are exactly like they are. That's number one.

1:03:52 Guest Thank you.

1:03:53 Adam And for that super hot chick I saw in 60 Minutes Two is the hottest chick in the world.

1:03:56 Guest She's from India. You think she's that hot?

1:03:58 Adam No, but it's it's it's it's one of those things where we feel good as Americans. We're picking if we can't if we pick the blonde with huge cans, everyone would feel bad.

1:04:05 Guest So we pick an exotic looking chicken.

1:04:07 Adam And it's like Julia Roberts proclaimed her that well, who died and left her queen of the good looking, you know, like good looking people somehow? Yeah. Oh, listen, you can't answer this hook nose fat ass. I'll answer it. I'm good looking.

1:04:21 Drew I'll declare. I'll declare.

1:04:22 Adam I say ugly people have a better idea of who's good looking. We're hungrier. You know what I mean? We appreciate it more. You saw from staring in the mirror. Yeah, but yeah, she was the most beautiful. Yeah, she's nice. She looks good. She doesn't have any zits. You know, there's nothing nothing wrong with her, but is proclaimed as the most beautiful woman in the world. But when you see him, it's always a little, well, let down. Nothing wrong. Now, it has nothing to do with being of being in dissent. Here's why I hate everyone who calls the show. This came up about three or four days ago. I said, geez, I thought that had to do with marriage. And then of course, a bunch of a-holes calls shows, like, no, it's a caste system. And now we hear that has to do with marriage. Thank you.

1:05:05 Drew All right, Janet.

1:05:06 Caller You guys were right all along.

1:05:08 Drew There we go.

1:05:08 Adam What's up, David?

1:05:10 Caller Well, I've called you folks before. I have terminal breast cancer and am three years clean from a heroin addiction. And the question, the medical question I have for Dr. Drew is, what would he suggest for pain control? Because I really don't want to get back on that wagon again. And also, two-parter, I have two open sores on my breast that were weeping with a staph infection. The doctor tells me now that the staph infection is gone, but the wounds are still weeping. So, what's going on there?

1:05:42 Drew Well, that's… are they a tumor?

1:05:45 Caller Well, they don't really know. They said that the breast cancer is… there's two different kinds of breast… well, you know that.

1:05:55 Drew There's several different kinds.

1:05:56 Caller Well, it's actually… it was just internal and went to my lymph nodes and that's why they… and then it became skin cancer as well and that's probably what they say the lesions are, but the staph infection developed after they did the biopsy, the second biopsy.

1:06:12 Drew Okay, so you just have a non-healing ulcer from your biopsy site.

1:06:15 Caller That's right.

1:06:16 Adam Oh, that's from the biopsy.

1:06:17 Drew Yeah. Is there something…

1:06:18 Caller Are you just above, doctor?

1:06:20 Drew Is there something…

1:06:21 Adam Very jovial.

1:06:22 Drew Yeah. Are you getting… I mean, you need wound care. There's all kinds of interventions that need to be initiated if you've got a non-healing ulcer. How long has it been there?

1:06:31 Caller Well, maybe I've got eight months, because ten months before I was diagnosed.

1:06:35 Drew You need to go to a wound center.

1:06:37 Adam Do they have wound centers?

1:06:38 Drew Yeah.

1:06:38 Caller What's that? Well, I've been to see my primary health care practitioner like four times since the wounds developed, and she just keeps giving me Cephalox and sending me home.

1:06:47 Drew No, no, no. No, you need to ask…

1:06:49 Adam This ain't work for a chick. You've got to get a dude in here and from another country too.

1:06:52 Drew That's why it's called a first-generation Cephalosporin that's good for the staph infection.

1:06:55 Adam To step it up.

1:06:56 Drew But you need to actually go to a wound center. You may need grafting. Who knows what you need there? That definitely… You've got to ask for a referral to a wound center, okay? And that's one.

1:07:05 Adam You said terminal. Sorry for cutting you off. When you say terminal, do they give you a period to live?

1:07:12 Caller Yeah, they said 18 months, but they were really… They said they couldn't do the surgery because the tumors were too massive inside my breast, so they wanted to attack it with chemo and radiation. But the percentage that… I mean, the statistics they gave me were not very good at all, and I know more people that have died from the actual chemotherapy. So I started going to a natural path, and the tumors have actually been reduced by, like, 27% since…

1:07:44 Drew Wait, wait, Jeanette, something is wrong here. Breast cancer is predominantly curable.

1:07:49 Adam It is.

1:07:50 Drew Especially in your age.

1:07:51 Adam 26 years old.

1:07:52 Drew Absolutely.

1:07:53 Adam Natural?

1:07:55 Drew Jeanette, you got to get yourself back. The chemo is actually kind of mild for this, too. They shrink the tumor, take the breast, reconstruct if you want, cure. You can expect a cure, but you let it…

1:08:07 Adam Why do you say chemo is mild for this? It is not as bad as other forms of chemo?

1:08:10 Drew It is not a horrible chemo. It certainly doesn't kill anybody.

1:08:13 Adam What is a bad chemo?

1:08:15 Drew You know, things like leukemias, lymphomas, multi-multi-drug, very sick from it.

1:08:20 Adam Alright, so, Jeanette.

1:08:22 Drew Yes.

1:08:23 Adam And what are you doing with the naturalists? Just getting coffee enemas and rubbing a chia pet?

1:08:30 Caller No, there's a lot. There's like 16 different types of drops that I'm taking and there's three different machines. There's a machine called a RICE machine and that's an anagram, R-I-F-E. I don't know what it stands for, but it cured my mom's breast cancer. And so I've been using that machine.

1:08:46 Adam Yeah, it worked for Steve McQueen, too.

1:08:48 Guest Yeah, well, it sends radio waves.

1:08:50 Caller It doesn't hurt.

1:08:51 Adam Hold on a second. We got to talk to, we got to have a pow-wow. Drew doesn't go for this crap.

1:08:56 Drew I'll go for it works, but it doesn't work. The fact is, we can cure this one. This is a curable cancer.

1:09:01 Adam Well, what kind of doctor then would just send her packing?

1:09:03 Drew Nobody. She packed herself.

1:09:06 Adam Can't they stop her?

1:09:07 Drew No.

1:09:07 Caller Really?

1:09:09 Adam But what if they say, look, we can cure this or there's a high percentage chance we can take care of this. You go see Dr. Dim Sum with the four foot beard down in Chinatown. This ain't going to work.

1:09:22 Drew I'm sure they told her that.

1:09:23 Guest Do you think she has some concerns because of her previous addiction?

1:09:27 Drew Well, she does about going on pain meds, but you know.

1:09:31 Guest About related oncology or?

1:09:32 Adam Chinat. Yes. There's like 200 years of education in this room and one semester at LA Valley College.

1:09:42 Drew You're going to speak for everyone.

1:09:43 Adam I wasn't on probation. I didn't go in on probation. I had to earn that.

1:09:48 Caller Well, what you guys are saying is actually giving me the first, honestly, the first sense of hope that I've had because I, it's not like I just went and saw one doctor and oh, I give up. I saw an oncologist. I saw a radiologist. I saw a surgeon.

1:10:02 Drew Yeah, but, Janette, they told you to take the chemo and the radiation, get the surgeries and you have like a 60% cure rate.

1:10:09 Caller No, they didn't say that. They said that at 30% in, it would come back within three years. There's a good chance it would come back within three years.

1:10:17 Drew 30% cure?

1:10:18 Caller Yeah.

1:10:19 Drew Or 30% recurrence?

1:10:21 Caller No, 30% cure and they said there was like a 70-some percent chance that it would come back within three years.

1:10:27 Drew Doesn't sound right to me.

1:10:28 Caller And they wanted to do a thing where they take out my lymph nodes and then they were telling me the risks involved with that.

1:10:33 Drew Janette, Janette, that is absolutely standard routine. Those are done, that procedure is done in every hospital in America, hand over fist. No one ever has any big problem with that. Sometimes you get fistulas and things, but that is a standard procedure.

1:10:47 Adam Janette, here is the thing, you have to start seeing the man. All this homeopathic crap is great when you are not really sick, but when you actually get something, screw that.

1:10:59 Drew South Park did a great episode about that.

1:11:01 Adam They did?

1:11:01 Caller Oh, I saw that.

1:11:02 Drew Oh, she saw it. Good. Kenny or somebody gets kidney failure and then they are like, we are not doctors, what are you thinking? And the kids are like, what? You let us to believe you could do something.

1:11:11 Adam Well, if that's all this crap, all this, oh, well, I had a coffee enema and I don't eat meat. So it's all great when you're not really sick, when you're just, you know, 26 and you're living up in your head and you're full of your own, you think your ass doesn't smell. And then something happens like your pen experts or something. Now it's time to go see the man. You got to see the man. And let me say this, let me explain something to AIDS under control, homeopathic or the man, the man. All you guys do, all, all you pussies do is complain about the man and the drug companies and all that. Who do you think got AIDS under control? Huh?

1:11:48 Caller Who? Your hippie buddies?

1:11:50 Adam You protested. The ones who are making the quilt or the man or the man? The man did it. You understand? So start kissing the man's ass because he cured your buddies. You pussies. Please.

1:12:04 Drew When I was in training.

1:12:05 Adam So convenient.

1:12:06 Drew When I was in training, some people came and hurt.

1:12:07 Caller Why can't they do more?

1:12:08 Adam They're charging to, yeah. The man cured your ass with AIDS.

1:12:13 Drew When I was in training, people would come with their first episode of Pussies. Pussies. of Pneumocystis and we would say, you have six months to live, period.

1:12:19 Adam That was AIDS.

1:12:20 Drew And now they come in and we say, you have a chronic illness.

1:12:22 Adam That's right.

1:12:23 Drew We'll deal with it, no problem.

1:12:24 Adam That's right. And who came up with that?

1:12:26 Drew The man.

1:12:27 Adam Some guy out of a VW van wearing Birkenstocks who didn't want to harm the earth or the man. Yeah. Who made AZT, Drew? Who made those triple cocktails? Who did all that stuff? The man. The man.

1:12:41 Caller It's like church in here.

1:12:42 Adam Kiss the man's ass or do me a favor. Don't use it. Uh-huh. Now you got something real?

1:12:51 Caller Yeah.

1:12:51 Adam Go to Canada over there and don't use anything. Live off the start eating raw food. Eat raw food. That's going to cure your AIDS.

1:12:58 Caller Yeah.

1:12:58 Adam Go eat it. Or or or shut up. Pussies. Tired of these guys. And as soon as they get, now it's right back to beating up on the man again. It's how the man works. Man don't care about AIDS. He don't care about you. He don't care gay or straight. Man wants money. That's it. He goes out and here's the thing. He spends a bunch of money on R&D, burn a few lab rats. You do this, you rape a little rainforest and now you got to get compensated. That's how the man works. It's a business. He doesn't know you. He doesn't know your friends. He doesn't care if you got it because you're hemophiliac or because you're manning a glory hole. He doesn't care. He wants his money.

1:13:36 Drew He may put his focus on things for altruistic reasons, but ultimately.

1:13:40 Adam Ultimately he wants money.

1:13:42 Drew Focus may be to help people.

1:13:43 Adam And let me say this too, let me say this too, lefty puss. Pay the man because you don't want him to shut his lab down because the next time one of these comes around, the man needs to have his lab because your pussy buddies ain't going to cure anything. That's the point. Give him, give the man his money, he can buy a new lab, get a couple of Bunsen burners, and next thing you know we're in good shape when the next version of Aids comes around. Oh, and it's coming. God, God has a plan. That's right. That's alright. We're righteous. We will survive. And I'm talking about just the four people in this room. Sorry, Michelle. And it's up to us to repopulate. Wait a minute.

1:14:26 Caller You're back in.

1:14:28 Adam That's right. Change of plans. And we're going by height. Alright. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, everybody. Yeah. The man doesn't want you to see it, but you're going to see it anyway. Out on DVD. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:14:44 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline.

1:14:46 Guest Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

1:15:03 Adam Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline, Adam, that's Dr. Drew, John Cho and Kal Penn here tonight from Harold and Kumar White Castle. You can't articulate yourself any better than that. Anderson's favorite draft. That's the outgoing message on his machine. You never call him at home. That's what you hear. All right, let's speak to Quee works out two times a day and now has so much sex. Quee?

1:15:36 Yeah. Hey, Adam?

1:15:38 Adam You're 24?

1:15:39 Caller Yeah, I had a question. I've been working out and I noticed that when I started to work out more than once a day, my sex drive kind of went up.

1:15:51 Adam What kind of name is Quee?

1:15:53 Caller Yeah.

1:15:54 Adam What kind of name is that?

1:15:56 Caller It's Korean.

1:15:57 Adam Korean?

1:15:58 Caller Yeah. Quee.

1:16:01 Adam And now the sex drive is going up?

1:16:04 Caller Yeah. I always used to work out and then somebody suggested that I should work out my legs to boost testosterone, I guess, in the body for muscle.

1:16:13 Drew Well, that naturally enough will increase your sex drive.

1:16:16 Caller Yeah.

1:16:17 Drew Any time you're using, pushing heavy weights with large muscle groups, it can raise your testosterone levels a bit.

1:16:23 Adam Yeah. And look, don't take this the wrong way, but Koreans, you don't need to work those legs. You've got tree trunks already, this big calves, I mean, huge.

1:16:32 Drew Look, John.

1:16:33 Adam They can get big.

1:16:33 Caller I'm in the powerhouse down there.

1:16:35 Adam Yeah.

1:16:36 Guest Wow, John, I never noticed that about you.

1:16:38 Adam Well, once in a while, they break the mold, but normally strong, powerful, huge stocky legs with powerful calves. So they're like mini Samoans.

1:16:49 Caller Yeah.

1:16:50 Caller What if we were to breed them with a.

1:16:52 Adam Oh, that's great with a dog that was hairless. Yes. Then we could bring them in. Off the furniture.

1:16:59 Caller Oh, wait a minute.

1:17:01 Adam No, that's one of the hairless grants. Stay on the sofa. That's fine.

1:17:04 Drew But he does bring up an interesting point here, Cui, is that if people go from not working out to working out, they can't enhance their libido.

1:17:10 Adam Yeah. What about this thing? I've been... John, are you Korean?

1:17:15 Caller Yeah.

1:17:15 Adam Oh, sorry, Beth. I figured you're a Chinese. I didn't know.

1:17:20 Caller I was there for a while.

1:17:21 Drew We mentioned I was born in Seoul. Yeah.

1:17:22 Caller Oh, yeah, yeah.

1:17:23 Adam I wasn't listening. Okay, well, I was going to want to... Good, but it was going to get uncomfortable because I wonder what was up with those terrorists now, with the Dodget Bullhead. Here's the point. Powerful-legged people. Yes. No doubt about that. It's not a put down either. It's just they have strong, you know, certain groups got strong legs and the Koreans don't need to work the legs. Focus on the upper body, no?

1:17:46 Drew Good times.

1:17:47 Adam No, you know what? They got nice arms, too. Think about it. That's it. Pecs. Pecs are good Korean muscles.

1:17:52 Guest It's all because John's standing here naked.

1:17:54 Guest Yeah, I'm looking at him right now.

1:17:56 Adam Thank God I got the laser pointer on my keychain. Now down here, Drew, is there anything we can do about this? What do they do? Snip the ligament, put a weight on it? What do they do, Drew?

1:18:05 Drew That's one of the ways.

1:18:07 Caller Snip the ligament, put a weight on it.

1:18:08 Adam Yeah, oh yeah, we can get a couple extra out of that. No problem.

1:18:13 Drew Extra millimeters.

1:18:14 Adam Now.

1:18:14 Drew Mind you.

1:18:15 Adam All right, here's what I want to say. No!

1:18:17 Caller Millimeters.

1:18:19 Adam They say now they've upped it to everyone should work out for an hour a day.

1:18:24 Caller Hour?

1:18:24 Adam They keep doing this. By the way, we're heading in the wrong direction.

1:18:28 Drew In terms of productivity as a country?

1:18:30 Adam Well, what I'm saying is like it used to be like there'd be the food pyramid and have like cupcakes on it and stuff. But again, things on it that you wanted to eat and then it's like you should do 20 minutes of moderate exercise three times a week. Now they're up to an hour every day and the cupcakes have been replaced with tofu wieners on the pyramid. We're screwed now. By the way, did we just figure this out? We figured it out six months ago? What's going on? Is it because everyone is becoming obese?

1:19:04 Drew Well, there's a worry about that and that's of course been overstated like everything else. But the fact is the press is so focused on trying to find medical headlines and there's no such thing as a medical headline. There's no such thing.

1:19:19 Adam Really?

1:19:20 Drew No. A headline is something that scientists go over, clinicians go back in the lab and try to reproduce multiple times and after many many years, if it turns out to be truth, then it becomes accepted practice. But it takes forever for that kind of thing to happen. It's not because of one study shows something striking, never.

1:19:35 Adam Well, how about we do, but you should, but they say now you need to work out an hour a day, which seems like a lot for most people.

1:19:42 Caller But the cupcake pyramid was when America weighed a reasonable weight, right? Yeah. We're crazy fat now, right?

1:19:49 Drew The cupcake was when we also expected to live a normal lifespan and didn't expect to live forever.

1:19:54 Adam Right.

1:19:54 Drew And not have any medical problems and not be a biological. So just go to town.

1:19:59 Adam What about this? I say we need to adjust that body mass index. I think we need to move that because I was well, I was watching a show. Well, you know who I'd like to use? Well, someone who's built like Oprah, Jerome Bettis, the boss. Oh, yeah, perfect. Running back for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Guy goes, now here's my argument. Here's a guy, Jerome Bettis. Thanks Anderson, big Pittsburgh fan. Jerome Bettis, 5'10, maybe 5'11, 262, 263, runs a 4'6, 40. You know what I'm saying? And can dunk a football in full pads in the middle of a snow day on a 10-foot goal post. Now, his body mass index, you go look at the thing, guy 5'10 1⁄2, he's morbidly obese.

1:20:45 Drew He's almost 80 pounds over his ideal body weight.

1:20:46 Adam I'm telling you, I was watching a show the other day on like 2020 and they did that body mass thing and the guy was like 5'11, and the poor guy with like 330 pounds and he was 5'11, and he was like, you should weigh between 153 and 161. And I thought, I work with a whole bunch of guys who are in their mid-30s, they're not fat, they're 5'10, they're 5'11, and they're 185 pounds, and they're not fat.

1:21:11 Drew Of course.

1:21:12 Adam You, I mean, you, you're heavy, I'm heavy, everyone's heavy for their body mass, whatever. I don't know, except for actually John and Kal, who actually make their body mass index, 5'10, guys, especially 4-year-old guys, 5'10, weight 190.

1:21:29 Drew Big probabilities, you know, average scales and things like that, that don't take into account.

1:21:34 Adam Jerome Bettis.

1:21:34 Drew Jerome Bettis.

1:21:35 Adam We need to jack this thing up. I'm just saying, adult male, 40, 35, 40 years old, 5'10, should be, you know, 180, 185. Not 152. Drew, are you getting angry? Getting angry at the man? I'm not sure if this is the man or not, but let's pump that BMI up a little bit, and then I'm going to start working on the pyramid, see if I can get the cupcakes back on there.

1:21:59 Drew We've got a lot to do, we've got a lot to do. Why do I get painted with the brush of people, somebody trying to tell everyone how to live their life? And the fact is, it's people like what you're talking about, they're trying to manipulate people.

1:22:10 Adam Jerome? The bus?

1:22:12 Drew The pyramid people.

1:22:13 Adam Oh, the pyramid people. Yeah, that insurance place? Is that what you're talking about? The good people of the pyramid. They got that headquarters down in San Francisco.

1:22:22 Caller Yeah.

1:22:23 Adam Jessica?

1:22:25 Yeah.

1:22:25 Adam You're 20?

1:22:26 Caller Yeah.

1:22:27 Drew That's the good hands people.

1:22:28 Adam What? No, that's all state.

1:22:29 Drew Oh.

1:22:30 Adam This is like Prudential or something. I gotta work this out. Go ahead, Jessica.

1:22:34 Caller Well, my boyfriend is always pressuring me into having, well, I don't usually do it, but anal sex.

1:22:42 Caller Do it. Oh, Joe.

1:22:45 Adam Yeah.

1:22:46 Caller Is it normal? I mean, I've tried it and it makes me paralyze like it hurts.

1:22:54 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:22:55 Drew Guys like to hurt girls. I really believe that. I think they want to hurt somebody with their penis. I think that's the impulse.

1:23:01 Adam I'd like to. I think I could wrap your neardrum or something.

1:23:04 Drew Right? Isn't that you?

1:23:05 Adam If I got a running start, I'm pretty sure I could do that.

1:23:07 Drew But isn't that the impulse?

1:23:07 Adam Disturb the nostril hairs.

1:23:08 Drew It's ridiculous.

1:23:10 Adam Oh, yeah. Or I could actually pile drive it up their urethra, ironically. Oh. Yeah, that would hurt them.

1:23:16 Drew It's called threading the urethra.

1:23:17 Adam That would hurt them.

1:23:17 Drew Jessica, is it pleasurable for you?

1:23:20 Caller Well, I mean, I mean, he'll, like, put a finger in sometimes while we're having intercourse. And it was so OK. But, like, man, once he tries putting his shlong in me, it really, really hurts.

1:23:34 Guest She's an ambassador.

1:23:38 Adam I'm going to go way out on a limb here. Calling from Sunland, California. It's beautiful. From Sunland. From Sunland.

1:23:44 Guest She's saying it. All right.

1:23:46 Adam I'm going GO. Yeah. Definitely a Jew. Are you Jewish, Jessica?

1:23:50 Caller Um, I have, well, there's some Jewish in my family, yes. But I'm half Italian. Half Jewish.

1:23:58 Adam What part? What do you got?

1:23:59 Caller I have Italian and Jewish in me.

1:24:02 Adam All right. The anal is the Italian part. I'm only... The Jewish part where your dad is listening is killing himself.

1:24:09 Caller That's the Jewish part.

1:24:10 Adam I've worked it all out. Listen, you don't have much Jewish. You can't be half Jew.

1:24:19 Caller I don't know. I'm a mutt.

1:24:21 Adam All right, David. Get out of Sunland, by the way. It's a horrible place.

1:24:26 Caller Oh, please come and rescue me.

1:24:29 Adam I'm scared. I don't want to fly over Sunland.

1:24:31 Drew All right, Jessica, you mentioned how much this hurts you. Why do you do it if it's so painful for you?

1:24:34 Caller Well, to pleasure my man.

1:24:37 Drew I know, but listen, the keys, listen, here's the deal. He is happy if you just are there and show some enthusiasm. It doesn't get better than anything else. He's just sort of, he's just sort of fishing.

1:24:48 Adam By the way, were you abused or something? You have the little girl voice that worries us.

1:24:53 Caller No, I've always had this little girl voice.

1:24:56 Adam No. Ever since you got molested by your uncle? Unless you're calling from Sunland, you had to have been abused.

1:25:02 Caller They don't let you in. I was actually from Long Beach. I moved down to Sunland with my family and we actually live up in the National Forest. So we're not in Sunland.

1:25:12 Adam Okay. All right.

1:25:13 Drew From one of those cabins up there, the forest department. What do you mean up in the forest?

1:25:17 Caller Yeah, up Big Tujunga Canyon about five miles up there.

1:25:22 Drew Oh, you mean where the forest department maintains those cabins?

1:25:25 Caller Yes, they do.

1:25:26 Drew Who? Do you know about this?

1:25:28 Adam What goes on up there? Hold on.

1:25:30 Drew If you go up hiking these trails, you'll see these cabins up there in the trails in the San Gabriel Mountains.

1:25:34 Adam Yeah.

1:25:34 Drew Cabins sitting there.

1:25:35 Adam On it, yes.

1:25:36 Drew Yeah, they look weird.

1:25:37 Adam And how do you get to live there?

1:25:39 Drew I don't...

1:25:40 Adam She doesn't know.

1:25:41 Guest Hey, Drew, weren't you saying last time that if you have too much anal sex, you can get a prolapsed anus?

1:25:45 Drew You can prolapse your anus. And not even too much.

1:25:48 Guest Any anal sex can lead to that. You get a prolapse vagina.

1:25:51 Drew It happens commonly. Women have lots of children. Prolapsed anus happens commonly if you live long enough to men and women, but especially women. And if you're abusing that area, you're of course more likely to have that kind of thing. And a prolapsed anus is just a delightful thing. It really is a good thing. Don't do it if it hurts. I mean, come on.

1:26:13 Adam Drew, I don't know why, but have you been to Sunland?

1:26:16 Drew I've driven through, sort of.

1:26:17 Adam It's horrible.

1:26:17 Drew Yeah, it's bad.

1:26:18 Adam And you know, it makes me want to bring up this, my numbering system. I'm not going to get into it, but you guys will dig this idea. I think it's unfair for cities to call themselves like Hawaiian gardens or Sunland. Sunland, Sun Valley. And there's a lot of views and vistas and stuff, but these places are dumps, all right? And people come to this.

1:26:41 Drew Lakeview Terrace.

1:26:41 Adam Lakeview Terrace, dumps, Sunland, dumps, Sun Valley, dumps, Hawaiian gardens, dumps. These places are dumps, okay? Now, here's the point. You don't know when you're relocating from Cleveland, you hear some guy go, hey, you want to move to Sunland? Sunland sounds great. I picture myself like a ski chalet. Snow bunnies and a hot tub. This could be excellent. And it's a dump. And there's no motivation for the crappy cities. You think it's a coincidence that the crappy cities have the nice names? They got soft. They didn't have to work anymore because, hey, our name is Sunland.

1:27:16 Drew People are attracted by the names.

1:27:17 Adam Yeah. When I'm in charge, your name ain't going to be Sunland. It's going to be 574. You want to work your way up, get to the 400s, pick up the garbage and get rid of some of that graffiti. Yeah. That's what it is. And everyone just gets a number signed to them and you don't like your number? Work a little harder. Clean up that graffiti. Get the school system working a little better. Before you know it, you've cracked the 200s.

1:27:42 Guest That's interesting.

1:27:43 Adam That would be great. And by the way, you would know too, like if you're coming in from parts of the public service or you're buying a house and then everyone pulls together. It's like, OK, listen, we are number 28. We're going to crack the top 20 this year, everybody. Let's join in. Let's clean up this town. Let's close down this crack house. Let's get behind it. Let's call our councilman. You know what I'm saying?

1:28:07 Caller Absolutely.

1:28:07 Adam Motivation.

1:28:08 Caller There's a lot of work to do.

1:28:09 Adam Instead of, oh, well, we're Sun Valley. We don't have to do anything. Am I right? The motivation. And believe me, I haven't really done the math. But if there's 600 cities around here, Sun Valley is somewhere in the low fives, low to high, you know, five fifty, five seventy five. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you're lucky, by the way, Sun, Sunlin, you're lucky you're next to Sun Valley. It's like like an ugly chick. But oh, big fat chick came in and all of a sudden she's looking pretty good. That's what that's what it is. You're lucky. You're lucky. Encino doesn't move their ass over there.

1:28:43 Caller You guys look like hell.

1:28:44 Adam How dare you. Thank you. Let's take a break.

1:28:47 Drew Let's do.

1:28:47 Adam Let's get our numbers thing going.

1:28:49 Drew Let's get it squared.

1:28:50 Caller All right. All right.

1:28:52 Adam Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. Everybody out on DVD as we speak. Go get it. There's stuff in there you won't see and haven't seen and can't see unless you get on the DVD. We'll be right back after this. There, buddy. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew out here in beautiful Culver City, 369, 370 on my number.

1:29:33 Drew But move it up a little bit. They're going to...

1:29:34 Adam They're inching up. Oh, they're in the... They're about 5, 511.

1:29:39 Drew We started coming out here.

1:29:40 Adam 512, and then we started moving it up a little bit.

1:29:42 Caller They got some innovation going on. Yeah.

1:29:44 Drew Well, they're afraid they're going to lose their number.

1:29:46 Adam I'm serious. Give everyone a number. Get them going. Put a fire under them. It works in college football. Why wouldn't it work in city, Drew?

1:29:54 Drew I'm with you.

1:29:54 Adam All right. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, everybody. Out on DVD. Go get it. You want to see another one? Go get it. That's what I'm saying. Don't blame the man. All right. Let's talk to Theo, who's 27. Is Theo our guy?

1:30:11 Drew Theo's our guy.

1:30:12 Adam What's happening, Theo?

1:30:13 Caller How y'all doing?

1:30:14 Adam Good.

1:30:15 Caller I got a new Thunder Bear song for you.

1:30:17 Drew Well, hold on.

1:30:18 Adam Theo writes theme songs for us.

1:30:20 Drew Let's hear one, Anderson.

1:30:21 Adam Do you have the Germany or Florida theme song, Anderson?

1:30:24 Caller Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis, sex, meth and death fetishes. Both of them have got these. Guaranteed not to bore you, Germany or Florida.

1:30:34 Adam Gets under your skin.

1:30:36 Drew Theo does. He's got a special style where he starts cracking his own ass up at the end of a song.

1:30:40 Adam I think that's me lying.

1:30:42 Drew They can see the smile and a lilt in his voice as the song progresses.

1:30:45 Caller You can hear a smile. Yeah, that's a fact.

1:30:48 Caller Alright, Willie. Fourteen, nine, immediately, two. Whatcha, whatcha, whatcha, whatcha, whatcha gonna do? Mexican musicians breaking it down on each of the accordion countdown.

1:30:58 Adam Man, that's the Mexican accordion countdown?

1:31:00 Drew For these guys, we got to play that. That was excellent. Alright, so Theo, what do you got for us?

1:31:04 Caller We got a Chief Thunder Bear since I couldn't be there tonight because God blessed us with snow over here.

1:31:09 Drew I thought you were going to come out here and stay with us.

1:31:11 Caller That was the plan. I was going to be there for tonight. But Baltimore got snow and that's where my layover was and Southwest can't do anything, so I wouldn't have arrived till tonight had I taken another flight.

1:31:21 Drew You were going to go come out here via Southwest? Theo, please.

1:31:24 Adam Come on, buddy.

1:31:24 Caller I know.

1:31:25 Adam Why didn't you tell us you had only $18 to spend on a transcontinental flight?

1:31:29 Caller I have vouchers. I'm stuck with you.

1:31:31 Guest Oh, man.

1:31:33 Drew Alright.

1:31:33 Adam Well, anyway, I only fly first class, but go ahead.

1:31:37 Caller Here we go. Literal millionaire.

1:31:38 Drew Nearly. Literally a multimillionaire.

1:31:41 Adam Yeah.

1:31:42 Caller Alright. Here we go. He came from the desert where the corn won't...

1:31:47 Drew Start again. Start again.

1:31:49 Caller Alright. Here we go. Riding on the back of a buffalo, he came from the desert where the corn won't grow. He works on girls, not on boys. He has a speculum of turquoise. He's Chief Thunder Bear, OBGYN.

1:32:04 Caller That's awesome.

1:32:05 Caller That's awesome.

1:32:06 Drew That's well done.

1:32:08 Adam Yeah.

1:32:08 Drew Was that the F-Troop theme song?

1:32:10 Caller What was that?

1:32:12 Adam It had... Now we're on an 8 second delay. Thunder Bear's out playing Tetris in the John Clowns. Well, he should hear that.

1:32:21 Drew He should hear it.

1:32:21 Adam He should hear that.

1:32:22 Drew Give him a chance to respond to it?

1:32:23 Adam When he hears it, he's going to come in.

1:32:24 Drew Theo, do you want to give that a play for Chief Thunder Bear?

1:32:28 Caller I'm sure I can do that.

1:32:29 Drew Okay, we're going to go get him. Hold on a second. Chief Thunder Bear is somebody that visits us. He's a colleague. He's a gynecologist, but he's a Native American Indian. He only speaks Choctaw. And so Adam's going to go get him right now. And he usually helps out with difficult gynecological problems. Here he comes. Here he comes, in fact. Be careful. Do not cross this guy. Okay. Be careful. Hi, Chief, Chief. Evening.

1:32:49 Caller Evening. Evening.

1:32:51 Drew Special evening tonight, Chief. Thank you. Would you?

1:33:02 Guest He has to say a prayer.

1:33:04 Drew He always opens his presentation.

1:33:06 Adam It's a little prayer.

1:33:08 Drew Okay, Chief. Yes, Theo. You didn't hear it, I know, but Theo has created a wonderful little song that we can use as an introduction to you. We'll get some coffee for you.

1:33:23 Adam Yeah, Chief.

1:33:24 Drew Chief. Chief. Chief.

1:33:27 Adam Chief.

1:33:29 Caller Chief.

1:33:29 Drew Chief. Chief. Junior College.

1:33:31 Caller Oh.

1:33:33 Drew Theo, no, he's not here. Chris is not here.

1:33:36 Adam Right, yeah.

1:33:37 Caller So Theo, here's the Chief.

1:33:38 Drew Anyway, go ahead and present to him.

1:33:41 Caller All right, here we go. Riding on the back of a buffalo. He came from the desert where the corn won't grow. He works on girls, not on boys. He has a speculum of turquoise. Okay.

1:33:59 Drew He's communing with his guys about this song. So far, they seem to approve. They approve. Theo, he seems to like it. You know, when he gets offended, you have to be very careful. He will really react.

1:34:21 Caller No, not here, chief. Not here.

1:34:22 Drew Don't do that.

1:34:23 Caller Not here.

1:34:24 Adam I'm just telling you.

1:34:26 Caller Here we go.

1:34:29 Drew Go ahead. Theo? Yeah. He would like to speak with you.

1:34:33 Adam Yes. Yes. Yeah.

1:34:37 Caller Yeah.

1:34:44 Drew And the very high honor. Theo?

1:34:47 Caller Well, thank you very much, Chief Thunder Bear.

1:34:49 Adam One.

1:34:49 Caller Well, it's not.

1:34:50 Adam And the heck.

1:34:52 Drew When you go.

1:34:53 Adam When?

1:34:53 Drew Oh, chief says, you've got to find a way out here.

1:34:57 Caller Yeah.

1:34:57 Drew But what the hell's the matter with you going southwest?

1:34:59 Caller Yeah. Whoa. White.

1:35:01 Adam White trash.

1:35:02 Caller Yeah.

1:35:03 Adam Fat guy in flip-flops and cut-off sweats.

1:35:05 Caller Yeah.

1:35:07 Adam Fat squad holding hat full of nickel.

1:35:11 Caller Yeah.

1:35:12 Adam Check it out.

1:35:13 Drew See, the chief has a thing about peanuts. He loves peanuts. Yeah. He won't fly something. No, they won't serve peanuts.

1:35:19 Adam No.

1:35:19 Drew Yes.

1:35:20 Adam Fiesta mix.

1:35:25 Caller I have to bring my own.

1:35:27 Drew No, quite quite. He's communicating again with his spirits.

1:35:32 Caller Chief. Coffee.

1:35:36 Caller Chris, get him coffee.

1:35:39 Drew Theo, careful what you say. OK, chief. Well, thank you.

1:35:44 Adam No, Chris. No, I can't. Yeah, he's going to be back. Hey, lesbian. Hey, ladies with women.

1:35:52 Caller Hey, check it out.

1:35:54 Adam You know, this is with Dykes.

1:35:57 Drew She you know, she may need your service or something. So, yeah, I speculate. It's a nice touch.

1:36:02 Caller He knows you well.

1:36:05 Adam Get her buckskin jumpsuit for Christmas.

1:36:10 Drew OK, Theo. Well, thank you very much.

1:36:12 Adam Yeah.

1:36:12 Drew Yeah. Yeah. Chief, thank you.

1:36:15 Adam Don't let TP door hit you an ass on the way out.

1:36:22 Drew Well, Chief, yeah, I like the Tetris. Yeah, I understood.

1:36:26 Adam No most initials.

1:36:28 Drew Nice. Good. What would they be?

1:36:30 Caller But get the JO.

1:36:33 Drew TPJO get get Corolla while you're at it. We please you.

1:36:36 Caller TPJO.

1:36:40 Drew TB. Thunderbar. Thank you, Chief.

1:36:45 Caller Wow.

1:36:49 Drew You should hear him talk to the young women. What a presence.

1:36:51 Caller Female callers.

1:36:52 Drew It's something else.

1:36:53 Adam I was happy.

1:36:55 Drew He was surprisingly in good spirits and he seemed to take the song from Theo very nicely and enjoyed it and yelled at Michelle a bit.

1:37:01 Adam Why?

1:37:02 Drew Because she didn't get the coffee but then she was confused that Chris wasn't here and so on.

1:37:06 Adam I'm going to give him a warm up before he throws a fit out there.

1:37:09 Caller All right.

1:37:09 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:37:12 Caller All right, guys.

1:37:13 Caller Here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:37:17 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:37:19 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:37:20 Guest 877-889-DATE.

1:37:45 Caller Hey, that's the show.

1:37:48 Adam Well, Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, everyone. Kal, John, thanks for coming in.

1:37:53 Guest Thanks for having us in here.

1:37:55 Adam Smart guys, always a pleasure. I want to thank engineer Anderson for doing a great job, engineer Chris, engineer Michelle. Who's on the phones tonight, Brian? All week. God love you, Brian. And I want to thank producer Anne and junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, producer Lauren. And until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:38:16 Caller Riding on the back of a buffalo, he came from the desert where the corn won't grow. He works on girls, not on boys. He has a speculum of turquoise. He's Keith Thunderbear, OBGYN.

1:38:30 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:38:34 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station.

1:38:42 Guest The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, January 20, 2005