Episode 1000675491469

1:27 Adam Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist, Josh Cooke here tonight from Committed. Hello. NBC, 930, Tuesday nights. All right, oh, turn the mic and point it toward you. Drew, we should, no, you're fine. No, we screwed it up.

1:44 Drew Yeah, we should. Now it's advised.

1:45 Adam It's not you, it's him.

1:46 Josh Cooke Oh, okay.

1:47 Adam I'm pointing at Drew.

1:48 Josh Cooke There we go.

1:48 Adam Twist that thing up.

1:49 Josh Cooke I almost broke it.

1:51 Adam Oh no, it is broken.

1:52 Josh Cooke Oh, it's broken, okay.

1:54 Adam Don't get me wrong. Drew, you're never going to fix the top part. Just tilt the bottom part.

1:59 Oh, who got it? It's good.

2:00 Josh Cooke No, it's a good. I'll slouch. That's better.

2:01 Adam You all right?

2:01 Josh Cooke Yeah, that's better. It makes me feel good anyway.

2:05 Adam Yeah, you know, they make a big deal about slouching, but you sit correctly for 10 minutes and your back starts killing you. What is that? It's the same thing with eating.

2:13 Josh Cooke It's unhealthy.

2:14 Adam It tastes like crap. Drew, work on that, would you? I'll work on it. Josh, he's a hot young star on the scene, rising, rising, hot star.

2:25 Josh Cooke That's special.

2:26 Adam How many episodes of Committed did you do?

2:28 Josh Cooke We did 13. We finished it up in November.

2:31 Adam And how far, where are we now in the season?

2:35 Josh Cooke I think they've shown five by now. They were doing two a week for the first two weeks. And yeah, the fifth one was aired on Tuesday.

2:44 Adam And Josh and I were talking before the show, they wanted another couple more, which is always a good scene.

2:50 Josh Cooke Possibly, we hope so, yeah.

2:52 Adam Yeah, you know, it's always funny. It's always funny when the network is sort of cautious, playing it close to the vest, and they go, give us six, and then it becomes a big success. And then they start screaming at you, how soon can we get more? But I mean, better than, I think we got enough, but I think, so the initial order was?

3:12 Josh Cooke The initial order was 13, actually.

3:16 Adam That's 13 is, we like it, we don't love it.

3:20 Drew But then they ask for four more.

3:22 Adam Then they ask for four more, and now it's like we're getting close to love. We love it, no anal. We'll do it, missionary, oral, we'll finish you off, but not going, not getting the big A. Yes?

3:36 Drew Yeah.

3:37 Adam All right. Josh is from Philly, and I'm supposed to be from Philly. It was it was always unclear with me.

3:44 Drew With the Corollas, everything's unclear.

3:46 Adam Yeah. We we my dad was born in Philly. I was in Philly when I was a little kid. I remember being around there. Remember, Drew and I went to Philly a couple of years back. We were vomiting the entire time. And but guys from Philly, I don't know how how different towns have their different vibes. Philly has their own has its own vibe, not quite Chicago, not quite New York, but maybe something in between.

4:11 Josh Cooke Yeah, it's just a smaller feeling. I spent a lot of time in New York. I would kind of go up there whenever I could. You know, it's just, you know, that feeling whenever whatever city you grow up in, you just kind of you don't think it's cool until you go away.

4:22 Drew Yeah, unless you go to LA, because then it really isn't cool. Now, yeah, it's just we we go around the country everywhere when we go, oh, my God, it really sucks.

4:32 Adam People from from LA have such horrible self-esteem, by the way, that you could say, you know, you can sit in front of people and they go, oh, LA is nothing but earthquakes and Mexicans. And you're like, yeah, it sucks. Yeah, you can't do that with anyone else. You start talking about Chicago.

4:49 Drew You mention the weather.

4:51 Yeah, it's a great city.

4:54 Adam They get all angry. LA people just start hanging their heads. Yeah, you're right.

4:57 Josh Cooke I kind of agree.

4:58 Adam Yeah, they do.

4:59 Josh Cooke I met there was one guy I knew once, so he kept telling me that LA was better than New York. And the reason was, he said, if you took New York and cut it in half and put it next to each other, that's LA. I said, what the hell does that mean? First of all, and second of all, no. Yeah, no.

5:15 Drew No matter how you cut it.

5:16 Josh Cooke I'm sorry.

5:17 Adam Here is the one problem with...

5:19 Drew That's an LA guy that's never been to New York.

5:21 Josh Cooke Yeah, exactly.

5:21 Adam The one problem with Los Angeles is we take the top 5% of A-holes from the rest of the country and welcome them in.

5:28 Josh Cooke So true.

5:29 Adam So that's all we have. Because if you think about it, you grow up in a small town, there's 20 cool guys, and there's one A-hole who says, I'm going to make it. Oh yeah, one day you're going to see me on that.

5:40 Drew And here's the really scary thing, there's a sort of eugenics that goes on, there's a U-aholics, which is that they reproduce.

5:46 Adam Yeah.

5:46 Drew And as parents, they're worse and they make a worse offspring.

5:49 Adam Oh, interesting. And it's not just twice as bad.

5:52 Drew Well, now you've got the runs rolling in from everywhere else and we're breeding awful ones here.

5:57 Adam Yeah. We should just put a sign right in front of LA, say, welcome, assholes.

6:01 Come on down.

6:03 Adam Bring your headshots, your resumes, your hopes, your dreams. And then that a-hole is the guy supposed to be bringing you your omelet. But he's pissed because he didn't come out here to sling hash. He came out here to make it on the silver screen, except for he's never going to do it. So all you get is the disgruntled guy supposed to be bringing your god damn omelet.

6:20 Josh Cooke He's also going to read you everything he's ever done in his life. He's going to recite it to you.

6:23 Drew Yeah.

6:24 Josh Cooke He's going to tell you all of his hopes and dreams and you.

6:26 Adam You know what I really realize? LA is you get your choice in terms of the guy is going to park your car, the guy is going to take your food order, the guy is going to wash car. You get you get angry foreigner or disgruntled.

6:38 Drew Out of town or out of town.

6:39 Adam Yeah. White guy who should be doing something better in this because he's better than you. Or there's just foreign guy doesn't speak much English and doesn't care. You're just a sheep.

6:49 Yeah. Sure.

6:49 Drew Well, one thing we did out here at this mother station in Los Angeles, we had a fundraiser.

6:54 Adam We did.

6:55 Drew It's called Transition.

6:56 Adam Yeah.

6:56 Drew We fundraised for the tsunami victims.

6:59 Adam We did.

6:59 Drew And we did an auction. And one of the things that was auctioned was a chance to come on Loveline to be a guest. It was much like Josh Cooke is doing tonight. And somebody paid $15,000 for that. And he's on the phone right now.

7:09 Adam Really? He's on?

7:10 Drew Tom Burbine.

7:11 Adam Tom Burbine?

7:12 Drew He's on line seven.

7:13 Adam Where's he calling from?

7:14 Drew I don't know. We'll find out.

7:15 Adam All right. I guess I could have asked him that.

7:17 Josh Cooke That's very generous.

7:18 Adam Any other questions you might be able to answer about him that he couldn't do himself? Can I keep going? What's his sign, Drew?

7:24 Drew Scorpio.

7:24 Adam What do you think? Scorpio? All right. I'm going to go with Gemini. Josh?

7:29 Josh Cooke Sounds like Aquarius.

7:30 Adam Aquarius.

7:30 Drew Wait, what else? Where was he born?

7:32 Josh Cooke Florida.

7:33 Adam I'm not even going to remember this part. You got Scorpio? Aquarius? I got Gemini? I bet we're all wrong. Tom?

7:40 Yes, Adam.

7:41 Adam What's your sign?

7:42 I'm a Leo and I was born in Schenectady, New York.

7:46 Adam I knew it.

7:47 Drew You were Wichita.

7:49 Adam Tom, now what is up, brother man?

7:51 Yeah, one of my goals in life was to be on Loveline and since I'm not an actor or a singer or I don't have big breasts, I was never going to get on. So when I heard you announced that you were having this auction, I said I was going to get it. I didn't care what the price was. It was mine.

8:05 Drew Who is number one? I like that.

8:07 Adam $15,000.

8:09 Drew Wait a minute. I'm immediately intrigued. What are some of your other goals in life? Because clearly it's a guy that when he sets a goal, it's going to happen.

8:15 I got an asteroid named after me. That was one of my goals in life.

8:18 Drew An asteroid?

8:19 Yeah, an asteroid. I do asteroid research. Hold on. I got a Ph.D. from MIT. That was another of my goals.

8:27 Drew What from MIT?

8:28 A Ph.D.

8:28 Josh Cooke Ph.D. from MIT. One of your goals was to be on Loveline.

8:32 Yes, yes, yes.

8:33 Josh Cooke That's awesome.

8:34 Drew I think I can fly now. They told us last night you were calling from South Hadley. Were you teaching at Holyoke or something?

8:39 Yeah, I just got a research scientist position at Holyoke.

8:43 Thank you, thank you very much.

8:46 Drew NERDS United here.

8:47 Adam Wow, you two could net just 69 an entire show while I talked to Screwed Up Kid. Calling all NERDS. Yeah. Wow. And now Tom.

8:57 Drew It's all girl school, Adam. It's one of the many advantages.

9:00 Adam Yeah.

9:00 Josh Cooke That got better all of a sudden.

9:01 Adam Hold on a second, Tom.

9:01 I'm pretty sure I could take the students, but no one's told me yes or no, but I'm 99% sure I'm not supposed to.

9:08 Drew I'll second that.

9:10 Adam I'm going to go way out on a limb with Tom. I'll go and trust fund, baby, because this guy doesn't sound like he's made 15 grand to toss around. Where did he get his money? Where did the money come from? He's got 15 grand to toss around?

9:23 Drew Sometimes guys at MIT invent stuff.

9:24 Adam Really?

9:26 All right.

9:27 Adam Tom? Yes? $15,000 is a lot of money.

9:32 Yeah, I know that.

9:33 Adam Now, not for me because I'm literally a millionaire, but for guys like you, that's a king's ransom.

9:39 Yes, but I don't do things for money. I just do things for happiness. So.

9:43 Adam Right.

9:44 Josh Cooke But how do you get the money then?

9:45 Adam But where do you get the money? How did you earn this money?

9:49 I'm teaching a class in the spring at UMass Amherst, astronomy class. So I'm getting paid exactly $15,000. So that money is going to this auction. And then I will live on the money I get from Mount Holyoke too.

10:03 Adam Wow. You mean you're giving 15 grand on a teacher's salary?

10:07 Yeah.

10:07 Josh Cooke Yes.

10:08 Yes.

10:09 Adam Wow.

10:09 Josh Cooke That's amazingly generous. My gosh.

10:11 Adam Wow. You know what? I'm going to let you hump Jerusalem.

10:16 Oh, thank you.

10:17 Adam I figured you were some trust fund baby and this was just a drop in the ocean for you. I didn't know it was an entire semester's worth of work.

10:25 Yeah. It's about, it's a lot, it's a big percentage of my salary this year.

10:29 Drew But I want you to know, Tom, that when it comes to any sort of academic pursuit, the idea of, first of all, doing that and then doing it and not getting anything at the end of it, Adam's head just exploded. I mean, that, to me, that would be like, doesn't make sense. We'd rather have bamboo shoots under your nails, right?

10:45 Doesn't. Doesn't. Yeah.

10:46 Drew Because you can't even compute it.

10:48 You're book signing in Virginia, like a year ago.

10:52 Drew Where was I in Virginia? Where?

10:53 I forget. It's one where the person bought the rabbit. They bought a rabbit to the book signing.

11:00 Drew I can't remember.

11:01 Josh Cooke You brought a rabbit to the book signing?

11:03 Drew Some actual animal or like they're dressed like...

11:05 Yeah, they had a rabbit in the front row. This person had a rabbit.

11:08 Drew And it was in Virginia. Yeah. I'll have to think about it.

11:11 It was about a year ago, I think.

11:13 Drew I'll look at my schedule.

11:14 The crack tour.

11:16 Drew Okay. Well, thank you. I'll think of where I was.

11:18 Adam Tom, when are you coming out here?

11:20 I don't know. No one's told me. I still have to pay, but the PayPal is kind of weird. They have to insure I have a bank account. I guess criminals don't have bank accounts, so I'm trying to pay on this PayPal.

11:32 Drew So I guess it's my payment system. It's an internet payment system.

11:34 Oh, no.

11:34 Adam Listen, I buy porn.

11:36 Drew What do you mean?

11:37 Adam I do my part.

11:38 Are you kidding?

11:39 Adam I give till it hurts.

11:41 Drew Oh, Tom, I can't wait to meet you.

11:42 Adam Tom, this is going to be awesome. We're going out to dinner with you.

11:46 Oh, thank you. That would be the highlight of my life, too.

11:48 Adam Yeah.

11:49 Drew Make it one of your goals and be sure that it will happen that way.

11:51 Ask Tom when he started listening.

11:54 Adam Tom, when did you start listening?

11:55 I listened in 99.1. The first episode I heard was when Pennywise barricaded you in the studio.

12:01 Drew Wow.

12:02 Wow.

12:02 Drew No kidding.

12:03 Yeah.

12:03 Listen, I thought this is the greatest show, but nothing ever that exciting ever happened again. But I still hope for it.

12:11 Adam Well, maybe when you come down here wearing that dynamite vest, we can make that ride again.

12:19 Okay. All right, buddy.

12:22 Adam Yeah. All right. So Tom, you're going to come down here. We're going to take you out to dinner.

12:26 Drew You know, I went to Amherst College.

12:27 Oh, did you? Yeah, I did. My bus that goes from Mount Holyoke to UMass Amherst stopped there. It's a beautiful campus.

12:33 Drew It's a great campus. I know. Gorgeous.

12:35 Adam Go Lord Jeffs.

12:36 Drew Go Lord Jeff. Yeah. I got a lot of friends at Holyoke.

12:38 Adam Why don't you say Jeffs? Go Lord Jeffs, like if you're talking about the football team.

12:44 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

12:45 Adam But if there's one black guy on the football team, he's pissed. Lord Jeffs? What the? He's going to be angry, throwing a tantrum in the locker room. Guy with a long robe and a powdered wig is the masked guy. That sucks. Yes, it does. You're a black guy, you want to cougar something.

13:01 You don't want Lord Jeffs.

13:03 Adam Hey, Tom. Yes. I love the cut of your jib.

13:09 Oh, thank you.

13:11 Adam You are liberating.

13:12 Yes, yes.

13:13 Adam I like that. There's something about that. That's nice. I wish we could all be more like you.

13:18 Thank you.

13:18 Adam If everyone was more like you, I'd be getting laid more, too. That's the other thing I'm thinking. You know what I mean? Hey, Tom, you have a lady?

13:28 I'm trying to go out with this girl in DC., but it's in the preliminary stages, so. I think when I tell her I'm going to be on Loveline, I might be able to gather, but.

13:35 Adam Yeah.

13:37 Drew We need to create a new job for Tom. No, no.

13:38 She works at the World Bank.

13:40 Drew You study asteroids?

13:42 Yeah, I do composition of asteroids, how they reflect light, and I can determine their mineralogy.

13:47 Drew Any of them heading our way?

13:49 No. One will hit us sooner or later, but none is known to be on the collision course.

13:59 Adam They always say it's not going to take one much bigger than a crouton to create 100,000 Nagasaki. It's always like, huh?

14:07 What?

14:08 Adam Yes, yes, yes. One the size of a U-Haul truck would take out all of Central America. Like, what? Yeah. Oh, because of the speed. What is that? I always feel bad for the people from Hiroshima, and Nagasaki. Let me ask you something. I'm not thunder.

14:24 Drew Oh, yeah.

14:25 Adam But I think it was good. It's going to explode with 1,000 times the force. Sort of like, yeah.

14:30 Drew Yeah. Well, look at the tsunami. That's a little tiny blip compared to what an asteroid would do.

14:34 Adam Really?

14:35 Drew Tiny thing.

14:36 Adam And there's a part of me that liked to see an asteroid hit, but really on my last day.

14:40 Yeah, yeah.

14:41 Drew If it's going to be your last day anyway, it might as well be exciting.

14:44 No, no, no.

14:44 Adam I mean on my last day, like I'm going to die.

14:47 Yeah.

14:47 Adam Oh, yeah. Any day. Anyway.

14:48 Drew If it's going to be anyway your last day, it might as well be a...

14:50 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seeing all the younger people die, yeah.

14:54 Drew Hey, Tom.

14:54 Yes.

14:55 Drew Are you sort of a catastrophic theoretician that the things have collided with the earth repeatedly and caused some of the biological and geological changes we've had?

15:02 Yeah. I mean, most of the big extinctions like the K-T boundary look like an asteroid hit and other ones, but these things, when they hit, disrupt the earth. If you look at the moon, it's all cratered and that's how the earth would have looked if we didn't have the water to like erase the evidence.

15:19 Drew Oh, interesting. Is it also the other thing that when the thing hits the ocean, it causes a huge wall of water to come over the land?

15:28 Because most of the stuff hits the water because the world is three-fourths of the ocean, so I think a lot of the tsunamis in the past were probably caused by an asteroid. This one was definitely caused by an earthquake.

15:39 Adam Don't you figure most of us are going to dive AIDS or get a shiv put in us before that happens? I don't want to be Pollyanna-ish about the whole thing, but I happen to say it's half full, not half empty.

15:51 But if one is on a collision course, I think I get more funding, so it's actually good for me.

15:54 Drew That's good. Will you come on our show and talk about it?

15:56 Adam A near miss would be exciting. All right, Tom. Well, God bless you.

16:00 Drew Thank you. We'll be talking more. Okay.

16:02 Adam Are you saying the earth is older than 2,000 years?

16:05 Yes, it's closer to like 4.6 billion.

16:08 Adam Well, I don't need to hear that kind of gibberish. I'm a man of God.

16:12 Drew Please. How dare you argue with things like logic when I have faith.

16:16 Adam I have faith. Yeah? Yeah, really? Well, who created the asteroids in SmartGuy? I love that argument.

16:22 Really?

16:23 Adam Who made the moon then?

16:24 Who?

16:26 That's your argument?

16:28 Adam I love that retarded God argument.

16:30 Oh, really?

16:31 Adam No God?

16:32 Who made the solar system? Well, Touche.

16:36 Adam You're right. It was a big Paul Bunyan sized guy. Must have done it with a pool cue.

16:41 Drew The logic I like.

16:42 Who? Okay.

16:43 Adam Well, you're right.

16:44 Drew There's such a logic to all this. It's so intricate. Some incredible force, a mind must create. I'm thinking, every time you see a complex like machine or building, you think a person built that? A person? Or thousands of people working together.

16:57 Josh Cooke I had a great argument about a giraffe once. There was a guy arguing about the reason that there was a God is because the giraffe existed. Because everything about its weight and distribution was raw. It should fall over and die or something.

17:10 Adam To me, it's like the reason there's no God is the reason there is a giraffe. This whole evolution thing probably started off looking like a fire plug. Then as the leaves got higher up the tree, actually I think it wanted to blow itself.

17:26 Drew Well, you know the motivation that can create.

17:29 Adam And not the front side, backside.

17:31 Well, that's what does.

17:32 Drew We have a giraffe.

17:33 Adam Thus the giraffe.

17:34 Josh Cooke Mutation begins.

17:35 Yeah.

17:36 Drew Like I know you offended everybody on this planet.

17:39 Adam Let's go. Here we go. Michelle? Yeah.

17:43 Drew What's up?

17:44 Adam Who do you think made those Rocky Mountains?

17:47 Drew What's up, Michelle?

17:48 Adam One of your buddies, Mark?

17:49 Yeah.

17:49 Adam I don't think so.

17:53 Hello.

17:54 Drew Hey, Michelle.

17:54 Adam Michelle.

17:56 Caller I had a question about erotic enema.

18:00 Adam Oh, how's that go?

18:02 Drew It's like a song by. I'm lost.

18:03 I thought Adam would like this topic.

18:06 Caller My boyfriend suggesting that we try this. It's an enema like any other enema, I guess. But with alcohol, like with red wine or something, and it's supposed to be very arousing and relaxing and get you like ten times drunk as fast. But I'm thinking this could be dangerous.

18:22 Drew Yeah, it is dangerous. People can actually overdose on alcohol with enemas, but nothing erotic about it. It's just getting loaded.

18:29 Adam How about someone just springs and buys a tumbler? You guys actually drink it like human beings.

18:35 Drew A wine glass would be really.

18:36 Adam All you have is a funnel. That's all you got at the house?

18:39 Caller No, we've got wine glasses, but he wants to try something different.

18:43 Drew Here's my head of meat that goes to it. Have you guys ever had sex, the two of you?

18:47 Caller Oh, yeah.

18:49 Drew Hold on a second.

18:50 Josh Cooke You're talking about fetish here?

18:53 Adam If a guy's pushing the, let's put a case of Chardonnay up the A-hole, I think you've gotten it on before.

19:00 Drew That's the kind of conversation you don't have on the first date. He's up to something. There's something to follow.

19:06 Adam There's more than this?

19:07 Drew I'm intrigued. This isn't anything but getting her wasted. That's all it is. I need to get her wasted so I can fill in the blank.

19:14 Adam You already have a funnel in her ass. What could you possibly do to raise the stakes?

19:19 Drew Bring somebody else in. I don't know. That's what I'm asking. Is he even pushing for something else?

19:22 Adam So you're saying you get that funnel going back there and there's booze going in at one minute. Next thing you know, they're throwing everything in there. Genitalia, boobs. It's all going down the funnel. Tinker toys.

19:32 Josh Cooke Stuffed animals.

19:33 Adam Everything down the funnel. Michelle. This sounds like one of those ideas like when somebody says, let's assassinate the president and you're like, are you serious? What are you kidding? No, we were going to get shot or spend. This is that's the same reaction you should have to the booze and the anus suggestion.

19:53 Drew That's why it seems he's moving it along. He's trying to get hurt into things that he wants to get into.

19:59 Caller Yeah, he's being very persistent. Initially, I reacted like, you want to what? But he's being very persistent about it. He's sending me information on websites. People do this and I don't know if there's like a club or something.

20:13 Drew People do all kinds of things, Michelle. It doesn't necessarily mean you've got to do it. But what is he up to? Is this it? This is somehow super, this is the best as it gets.

20:21 Josh Cooke Can I ask how long you've been together?

20:25 A little over a year.

20:27 Drew And you like this guy?

20:28 Yeah.

20:29 Drew Does he have an alcohol problem himself?

20:31 Adam He's a keeper.

20:34 You want to marry him.

20:35 Drew Does he have an alcohol problem?

20:36 Caller I don't know about marriage, but yeah, kind of, I would say.

20:40 Drew This, by the way, is alcoholic behavior. But is he urging you to have anal sex or to bring threesomes or that kind of thing, too?

20:46 Caller Oh, no, no other parties. But yeah, the anal thing is a big issue with him.

20:51 Drew See, this is where that's going next. Where?

20:53 Adam What do you mean? Yeah, she said no. She said no.

20:56 Drew Not threesomes, yes, anal sex.

20:58 Adam Yeah. Oh, well, yeah, of course. Got a bottle old crow up her ass. Why? She'd be welcome, reprieved to have a penis in there.

21:08 Drew But that's the point. That's where he's going. That's where this is headed.

21:11 Adam All right. Drew is a genius, by the way. That's where he's going. He's there, you idiot.

21:16 Drew But the point is, this is not about...

21:18 Adam All right, quiet down. Michelle? Well, you guys are going to have a nerd off.

21:24 Drew Oh, yes.

21:24 Adam Big time.

21:25 Drew Big time. Anything can go in your ass. You just got to relax.

21:30 Adam Yeah, true. Easy. All right, Michelle, don't do it if you don't want to do it. And we don't trust this guy.

21:36 Caller But is it dangerous? That was my main question.

21:39 Drew The main danger is...

21:40 Caller Yes, but how dangerous is it?

21:42 Drew The main issue is the speed with which the alcohol is absorbed and people can overdose on the alcohol.

21:47 Adam I'll tell you the other danger.

21:48 Drew Not breathing.

21:49 Adam He wants to dump red wine in there, right?

21:52 Caller Yeah.

21:53 Adam Right? Okay, because... I find a chardonnay goes nice with a cornhole, but... You know, that's where I'm from. I could give you some vineyard...

22:03 Drew I thought you were like a mall liquor guy.

22:05 Adam No, no, no, not with a cornhole. No.

22:08 Josh Cooke You want to scotch out the butt?

22:09 Adam No, I'm looking for something that's assertive without being pushy.

22:12 Drew Okay. Okay. Yeah, you're right.

22:14 Adam And the real trouble comes...

22:15 Drew With soap in your bra?

22:16 Adam When they have to cleanse the palate, get the sherbet up there. That's the tough part, the big ball of orange sherbet.

22:22 Alright.

22:24 Adam Okay.

22:24 Josh Cooke Or a spit bucket.

22:25 Adam That's a... Yeah, that's enough for Michelle. And here's the thing, if a guy's getting into this year one, or still in the first year of the relationship...

22:34 Drew Bad times.

22:35 Adam Yeah, and women don't know how to interpret that. I would interpret it as bored or devious or both.

22:41 Drew I, in my interpretation, I agree with you on the bored thing, is one possibility, but the other is that it's an alcoholic, he needs higher levels of arousal all the time. And they will keep needing more.

22:52 Adam And I would say that things don't exist in a vacuum. People seem to have that, especially women, they're like, he works hard, he takes care of me, he's respectful, he's great to a step-kid, she's a wonderful stepfather, he wants to put a pony keg in my ass, but he takes the kids to soccer practice.

23:13 Drew Shouldn't I reward him?

23:14 Adam No, that one thing is a deal breaker.

23:17 Drew But see, they think of it as, I should be rewarding him. No, no, no, the fact that he wants to do it is the reason you should not reward him, you should not have a relationship with him anymore.

23:24 Adam But I'm saying, and I don't think you're getting my point, which is that one, you act like, well, nine out of 10 things, but the 10th thing is one to put a keg in my ass, it's all nullified.

23:35 Drew Right, you can read volumes in that one.

23:38 Adam Yeah, it's as if he does all these things, but he beats you.

23:41 Drew The reality is, the ruse is everything else. The real guy is the one with the pony keg.

23:45 Adam Focus on him.

23:46 Drew Focus on the outrageous stuff. That's going to expand as time goes along.

23:51 Adam Into a full-size keg. Yeah, and that's a deal breaker, folks. All right, Josh Cooke, yes, Josh.

23:57 Josh Cooke I was just wondering, that kind of alcoholic, you were saying it's alcoholic behavior, is that a fairly normal thing? I mean, there are many, many cases. Yeah, for alcoholics, the case of them.

24:07 Drew To keister their alcohol?

24:08 Josh Cooke I've just never heard of that before.

24:09 Drew It happens, but that's not the issue so much. It's him needing these highly arousing experiences. That's part of a progression of alcoholism.

24:17 Adam So, thrill-seeking.

24:18 Drew Thrill-seeking, exactly.

24:19 Adam And Drew, you will absorb it faster that way?

24:22 Drew You can't really control it. Not necessarily faster, but you can put in more. You can only drink so much, you'll vomit.

24:28 Adam Right.

24:28 Drew The keister, you can just keep pouring it in.

24:30 Josh Cooke See, my friends are taking notes right now. That's the sad thing.

24:32 Adam Yeah, it's like the bottomless salad bowl, the keister.

24:37 Drew Bottomless bottom, yeah.

24:38 Adam You can just keep going with it. And, but if you did it, like I go, all right, well, I drink a glass of red wine, takes me 15 minutes, I slowly pour it in.

24:47 Caller Couldn't I do it?

24:48 Adam Drew, if I was sitting and holding the funnel.

24:50 Drew You snifter it, let it breathe. A little bit, light it. All right. So to speak. All right.

24:56 Adam Josh Cooke here tonight from Committed, NBC 930, Tuesday night. We'll take a quick break.

25:03 Caller Be right back after this.

25:05 Loveline.

25:06 Caller Okay. Wait. My hair.

25:09 My hair.

25:10 We'll be right back.

25:18 Adam Yeah, everybody. All right, let's just reel it in for a minute. You know what I'm saying?

25:24 Let's take it down.

25:24 Drew We got some calls.

25:25 We got a bunch of calls.

25:26 Adam All right, Josh Cooke here tonight from Committed, 930 NBC, Tuesday nights. Josh is, I'm going to call him the star of it. I'm going to go ahead and call Josh the star of the entire show.

25:39 Drew I think you should.

25:40 Josh Cooke Makes me feel special. I like it.

25:41 Adam Yeah, he's not the nosy neighbor. He's not the divorced boss who's trying to get with the ladies. He's the star, everybody. See, we're not used to that on this show.

25:53 Josh Cooke We don't talk to stars.

25:54 Adam We're used to the friend of the nosy neighbor.

25:55 Caller Right.

25:56 Adam He's just a voice.

25:57 Drew Well, the head of the fan club.

25:59 Josh Cooke We definitely need a Mr. Roper, I think, though, at some point, you know.

26:02 Caller Drew's your man.

26:02 Drew All right.

26:04 Adam He drove that movie New York Minute right into the ground.

26:07 Drew I almost saved it.

26:11 Adam Yeah. Remington. Yeah. You're 18.

26:16 Caller Yes, I am.

26:17 Adam What kind of name is your dad, a gun nut or pretentious? Or what is that Remington name?

26:23 Caller My mother. My mother, she is my auntie and my grandmother's name. That's how they came up with. So me, my brother, and my mother, so all our names begin with all four.

26:35 Adam You know, I know a few of those families. I got my buddy Ray. He's got a Ronnie and a Rich and a Ron. And I started making fun of Jimmy about those names. And I realized he's one of those guys, too. Yeah. He's got a John. His sister's like a Joan. I mean, everyone's a J in his thing. It's a common thing. It's a weird thing. I know.

26:54 Drew What makes parents do that?

26:55 Adam I don't know because you don't have to. It's like somebody telling you that you have to take this test to get into this college, but you don't have to take the test. You just decide to take it anyway and you might fail. All I'm saying is, why do the J thing? I think it's a family thing in certain circles.

27:13 Josh Cooke My sister's a Jesse, yeah. Josh and Jesse. You got that? There you go.

27:17 Adam Now, that's almost an alliteration thing. It's when you got the three where it really goes nuts. Or like my buddy Ray, there's four. And then by the time you get to the fourth name, it's like, we don't even like this name. It just starts with an R.

27:30 Drew So Remington, what's the question?

27:33 Caller Well, I've been listening to the show since I was in like seventh grade. And well, I'm in my freshman year of college now. So it's a long time. Well, my question was that my girlfriend, she had the shot. And after the second shot, she started like to bleed a lot.

27:57 Drew Right. This Depo-Provera shot, oftentimes women bleed throughout the entire month, three months actually. And then usually the second shot, sometimes a third, they'll stop having their period all together.

28:09 Caller Yeah.

28:10 Drew But we're hoping for that, huh?

28:11 Yeah.

28:13 Caller Recently we had a fight about like, she wanted me to, well, she wanted to, you know, have sex during the bleeding. I just wanted to know, you know, ask Dr. Drew if it was safe or not.

28:28 Drew It is quite safe and you should proceed.

28:32 Caller Nothing.

28:33 Drew Nothing.

28:34 Josh Cooke He just made his day.

28:35 Drew Well, there is a slight increase risk to her in that when there's sort of an open track to the upper urogenital region, meaning through the cervix into the uterus.

28:45 Adam He's worried about him, by the way.

28:46 Drew I know. If you had an infection.

28:47 Adam Remington worries about Remington.

28:49 Drew Yeah. But for you, it means nothing, provided she doesn't have HIV or anything like that, which I'm sure she doesn't. For you, you have two healthy people, it means nothing.

28:55 Adam But hold on. I think he's sort of looking for a note from the doctor.

28:58 Drew I know.

28:58 Adam And he doesn't want to do it.

29:00 Drew Listen, she's having a period of three months. What's the matter with this guy? Is he going to sit out three months?

29:05 Adam I know. You just get oral for three months. Remington?

29:08 Caller I have a nice solution.

29:10 Adam That's always my solution. Drew, oral. Go, buddy. Remington, you don't want to have sex with her when she's on her period, right?

29:17 Caller No, it's not that. It's just that I wanted to make sure it was safe before I did, because I went on the internet to try to find the information about it. Like, the site that I found didn't really talk about it.

29:30 Drew It's all fine, Remington. Believe me, if there were really serious health issues, you'd find all kinds of sites about it. All right.

29:34 Adam You're okay, Remington. We're giving you the green light to go for the red light.

29:40 Caller All right?

29:41 Adam Enjoy.

29:42 Caller All right.

29:43 Adam Skoll, brother. Get in there. Get down. I would... That's tough. That's not my thing. Drew, you're a passionate man. You've got to understand that others don't share your passion for passion.

29:56 Drew But there's also passion, and those people are squeamish, which I...

30:00 Adam You're not. Well, as a doctor, you spend a whole day like popping fistulas on people's venuses and stuff.

30:07 Drew I did some of that today, in fact, but I'm doing a mastectomy, taking off man boobs on Friday morning. You are? Yeah, for Discovery Health. We're going to be doing that.

30:16 Adam You're not doing it. You're going to be standing there in a candy striper's outfit behind.

30:20 Drew Yeah, but it'll be interesting to see what they do.

30:21 Adam Licking a giant lollipop.

30:23 Drew No, no, I'll be doing what I did all the way through third year medical school, was holding retractors, which is a lot of fun.

30:28 Adam Holding retractors, like a rib spreader or something.

30:30 Drew That's all you do, is just stand and hold stuff.

30:32 Josh Cooke Do you just get numb to that after a while, just like the open wounds?

30:35 Drew Immediately. Oh, God.

30:36 Josh Cooke Really? I can't watch them.

30:38 Drew Look at you, you have a job to do.

30:40 Adam I know, I couldn't do that, and I couldn't be the guy that drove the ambulance, that scraped the guy off the pavement after the motorcycle crash.

30:48 Drew I can't. That's what's weird. In a controlled environment, whatever, but out in the field, it's freaky.

30:55 Josh Cooke Did you have to ride an ambulance for a while after doing that?

30:58 Drew I'm no good. What can I do if I don't have all the equipment?

31:00 Josh Cooke I was wondering if that's how you found out.

31:01 Drew No, I can't avoid it.

31:03 Josh Cooke When you were starting out.

31:04 Adam I would immediately snap into like a look, like an animal that's wounded. I'd just start reaching for my side arm. We got to put him down. It's just a broken life.

31:14 Caller Let's get this over with. Just kill him.

31:16 Josh Cooke Put him down.

31:17 Adam Put him down. What about her? She was on the back of the moped. She's fine.

31:21 Caller She's got to go too.

31:22 Josh Cooke She'll be scarred for the rest of her life.

31:24 Adam And she may talk.

31:25 Josh Cooke And she's going to call the show.

31:27 Adam Right. And you only get manslaughter when you convince the judge that he was dying anyway. But I couldn't be the one who scraped the guy. Especially if someone was in agony. Which is a person bellowing. You know the ones that are just completely freaked out. They go into shock and start freaking out. Just slap him. Slap him? That's what the sidearm show is. Drew, you could dart them at that point. Couldn't you?

31:49 Drew You'd inject him with something, sure. You would?

31:51 Adam But via dart.

31:52 Drew No, you actually get near him.

31:53 Josh Cooke You're talking about a dart gun.

31:54 Adam I'm talking about a blow gun.

31:56 Josh Cooke I like that. That's a good method.

31:58 Drew Katie?

31:59 Adam No, not me, a guy in full blown, like, native attire.

32:03 Caller Comes out with a big plate in there.

32:05 Adam I call him and he comes running out. Shoeless ankle bracelet.

32:09 Josh Cooke Understands one word.

32:10 Adam Shrieking.

32:11 Drew Shark teeth.

32:11 Caller Nantanka!

32:13 Just that means she's going for the gun.

32:16 Adam Katie?

32:17 Caller Hi.

32:18 Caller You're 19?

32:19 Caller Yes.

32:20 Drew What's up?

32:20 Caller What's going on?

32:21 Caller I was having sex with my boyfriend early this morning and the condom slipped off. Oh boy. I got Plan B and I just wanted to know what exactly it's doing.

32:34 Drew It's going to suppress ovulation. That is, it's a predominant means whereby it works. In other words, if you've already ovulated, if you've already ovulated, you're going to get pregnant. Really? Yeah. It has a possibility of interfering with the fertilized egg and planting, but about the same probability as a birth control pill taken every day. It's a very slight risk of it working. That means the predominant means clearly is by suppressing ovulation so the sperm never gets to the egg, which is also why it's not 100 percent effective. If you have ovulated, sperm gets there, you get pregnant, that's it.

33:07 Adam So if you were going to drop an egg, this stops you from dropping an egg.

33:11 Drew Exactly. If you've already dropped the egg, that's that 10 percent or 20 percent that's going to get pregnant. Right.

33:16 Adam So if an egg is already in the chamber, it's not going to have or down the barrel. You're getting fired.

33:21 Drew You're getting pregnant.

33:22 Adam I'm kidding.

33:23 Drew You are. It's very safe. It's good medicine. There's tens of millions of prescriptions in Europe, not a single adverse event.

33:31 Adam Yeah, Drew, the jury is still out.

33:33 Caller Yeah.

33:35 Caller So if I am pregnant and I want to get an abortion this early, would it just be a pill?

33:41 Drew Well, that's a whole different matter, okay? That's completely different. You first would have to prove that you're pregnant. There are pills and means, you know, non-surgical means of abortion. But we'd sort of encourage you to think about adoption if there's a possibility for you. Yeah.

33:56 Caller No.

33:57 Adam All right. And by the way, does she hate kids? Let me say, I'm against abortion because the same man that created the universe and the oceans.

34:06 Drew Paul Bunyan.

34:08 Adam My buddy Paul, he doesn't like this. He wouldn't have created the universe and that egg inside of you. Everything, really, if he didn't want it.

34:17 Drew It's true. It's philosophically consistent and, you know, logic that is sort of difficult to refute. There is a potential life there and it's going to be a human life. And we have certain obligations to protect that. And so, you know, people feel strongly.

34:32 Adam All right. Well, check into the pill and then the pill.

34:35 Drew If you've taken it within the first 24 hours, the morning after pill is about 90% effective.

34:39 Adam Okay, Kate?

34:40 Caller I did. I did. But I feel like I have probably already ovulated. I'm mid-cycle, which just makes sense.

34:49 Adam Yeah, mid-cycle.

34:50 Drew Did he ejaculate in you?

34:53 Caller He ejaculated and the condom fell off inside of me, so it was all in there.

34:58 Adam Thousand Island. What a mess.

35:00 Drew She's not even strong. She's not even strong.

35:02 Adam Oh, she's not?

35:03 Caller I was supposed to be starting the pill, coming up on whenever Sunday, as soon as my period started.

35:10 Caller Starting an orthotricyclin.

35:12 Drew A new packet?

35:14 Caller No, I've never been on the pill before.

35:15 Drew Okay, a new version.

35:16 Caller I was just going to start it. Yeah, and I just got Plan B today.

35:20 Adam All right, well go ahead and try it. It'll work.

35:21 Drew Good job. You're going about this the right way.

35:23 Adam All right, let me ask a possibly offensive religiously-oriented question. I was thinking about the great...

35:30 Drew You were offensive? No way.

35:33 Josh Cooke I'm really mouth to the ground.

35:35 Adam The great Martin Luther King. I was thinking about his birthday the other day and I thought, well, this is starting well.

35:41 Yeah.

35:43 Adam He was a man of great faith, but I took a mistress or two on the side. Great passion. You know my theories about this, which is, I don't believe these guys believe as much as they believe. Otherwise, it wouldn't do some of the things like when you hear about Clinton, Yak, and about his spirituality or meeting with clergy or something like that, and then he's going to BJ from an intern. I think it's a little bit of lip service for the folks out there. Now, here's what I'm saying. I don't know how you measure someone's religiosity, but I do know that I have friends that are, you know, vegetarians, not good friends, because I can't stand those people, but there's friends of friends that are vegetarians.

36:27 Josh Cooke I definitely agree with you.

36:28 Adam They don't go out to dinner with you, not order the veal, and then go home and polish off a burger.

36:34 Drew Right.

36:34 Adam You know, because they believe it.

36:36 Drew Right.

36:36 Adam That's not their thing. They wouldn't do it. They're just meatus murder. Have you ever seen the way these animals are treated? I will not do this.

36:44 Drew And yet you know that many of them do sort of make exceptions. Well, the fish are okay, and the eggs, they're okay.

36:49 Adam They do a little of that. But if they don't, if they agree that it's wrong to eat, they think it's wrong to eat red meat.

36:55 Drew It's wrong all the time.

36:56 Adam And it doesn't matter how much they crave it or whatever's going on. They're not eating it at home. They're not eating it when you're not watching. They're not eating. They're just not doing it.

37:04 Drew Here's one of the reasons that that's eating.

37:05 Adam What about that way with religion?

37:06 Drew Hang on one second.

37:07 Adam How come they don't do that?

37:08 Drew Because with the food and the meat and stuff, those tend to be people who don't like meat. They're not craving it. Is that what it is? So it's not a good deal. Really?

37:14 Adam You're saying that? For the most part.

37:16 Drew No, they're kind of aversive to it. They think of the animal and they go, oh, I can't do it.

37:20 Adam But they're doing their part.

37:21 Drew When it comes to sex and mistresses and that kind of thing.

37:24 Adam Yeah. So you're saying, you're saying if...

37:27 Drew There's a drive there, the desire is there.

37:29 Adam If the vegetarian liked meat, then he would do it.

37:32 Drew If they were driven to it the way men are driven with sex, maybe then they would be eating burgers.

37:37 Adam I understand if you sell insurance and go to church on Sunday, maybe, you have a sort of... But if you're out preaching the gospel...

37:46 Drew Think about it, even you be more like, let's say you're a vegetarian, you don't want other people killing animals, you want to set an example, but you crave meat. You're going to do it at home alone. But out in public, you're going to preach because you want to make sure everyone else doesn't kill those animals.

37:59 Adam But if you believe that...

38:02 Drew You believe it, you crave it though.

38:04 Adam But you're going to hell.

38:05 Drew No, well, that's a different thing.

38:07 Adam What about that? I mean, why do all these so-called believers take these incredible chances? I mean, if I really did believe that someone was watching me and I had a personal relationship with, and one day I was going to have to atone for, and stand before, and judge with, and stuff like that, I wouldn't be banging other people.

38:22 Drew People have an amazing way of justifying their behavior.

38:24 Josh Cooke Don't you think also there's some kind of adrenaline high that they get from being in a position of power, possibly?

38:31 Adam Oh, yeah. I have this theory that religious people do not believe it as much as they would like you to believe they believe it, because if they did, they wouldn't engage in the behavior that, according to them, is going to send them to hell. I mean, do the math. You know what I'm saying? And I also believe that's why they get angry when you start making jokes about your buddy creating the universe. They freak on you because they're insecure about it. I believe that most religious people are very insecure about their actual beliefs. There's a little kernel of truth. Here's a heavy thought. In every, in just about every human being, there's that part of your brain that needs religion because you're freaked out about dying and you're freaked out when loved ones, when horrible, random, violent things happen to loved ones. There's also got to be a little kernel that doesn't believe it. And even in the most religious man, there's got to be that kernel that realizes, I could be wrong. This could be nonsense.

39:27 Caller I haven't really seen any proof.

39:29 Adam We've been talking about it for a long time. Then the tsunami hits. Oh, I got to work my way or I got to wrap my brain around this. There's got to be a kernel in all of them. And I think if you flick that kernel, they freak on you. Yes.

39:40 Drew They're certainly defensive.

39:41 Caller All right.

39:42 Adam I'm just saying you're that religious. Why are you engaging in this stuff?

39:46 Caller Yeah.

39:47 Caller All right.

39:48 Drew Because they're weak. They're sinful.

39:49 Caller Okay.

39:50 Adam Yeah.

39:51 Drew All right.

39:51 Adam Anyway.

39:51 Josh Cooke They have a desire.

39:53 Adam It all makes perfect sense. Then who? That's my greatest art. Who created the universe then? Your God? Well, maybe Allah.

40:01 Drew And by the way, this is the most perfect universe. You sure it wasn't some faulty god that made a big mistake and this is what the university threw aside?

40:08 Adam Now listen, Drew, you can't question. He knows what he's doing. He's got a plan for you too. Shut up. That's his plan. While I hit you. Hold still so I can hit you with lightning. Josh Cooke here tonight from Committed NBC, 9.30 Tuesday nights. Take a quick break. Be right back after this.

40:28 Call Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

40:42 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, Josh Cooke here tonight from Committed, 9.30 on NBC Tuesday nights.

40:52 I love the clapping.

40:53 Adam I felt bad. I was making fun of Ty Pennington last night, and it turns out he had appendicitis.

41:00 Drew Oh, no. Is he all right?

41:01 Adam Yeah. Got his appendix taken out. I made this joke, so I said that the good thing is, is he already had his shirt off before he went into the hospital. So, you know, anyone has seen, you know, extreme home makeover, no tie shirt is rarely on.

41:15 Josh Cooke And I was a little ridiculous with that.

41:16 Adam He's a doctor, though. It's a time saver, right? Guy comes in with the shirt on.

41:19 Drew I appreciate that.

41:20 Adam Yeah. Where's a guy like me? I'm layered.

41:22 Drew Yeah.

41:23 Adam Yeah. 45, the thing burst while I'm still taking my third sweater off.

41:26 Drew You got to cut through the towel, the paper mache and stuff.

41:28 Adam Yeah. It's a mess. You get through the hair.

41:30 Drew Oh, humanity.

41:32 Adam Yeah. All shaved with the shirt off already. Why? Nothing there. Nothing to get through. All right. What are we doing, Drew? I want to take a question for Josh.

41:41 Drew All right. Good.

41:41 Adam Yeah.

41:42 Drew I was thinking about that.

41:42 Adam Russ over here?

41:43 Drew Yeah.

41:43 Caller All right.

41:45 Adam Russ?

41:46 Caller Yeah.

41:47 Adam You're 25?

41:49 Caller Yes, I am.

41:50 Adam I don't say this very often, but you have it, my friend.

41:55 Wow. Really?

41:56 Caller Yes.

41:56 That means a lot coming from you.

41:58 Caller Long time listener, first time caller.

42:00 Adam Thank you. Now, Russ, I'm a big fan of your work. Yes. And where are you? You're calling from Los Angeles, but where are you from originally?

42:11 Caller I'm originally from back East.

42:15 Adam So you're one of those 5% A-holes that came out here.

42:18 Caller Where back East?

42:20 It's nice weather in January.

42:22 Drew Did he say F this?

42:23 Adam I think he dropped the...

42:25 Josh Cooke I think that was some definite profanity there.

42:27 Drew The F-bomb.

42:28 Caller Yeah.

42:28 Drew Well, I mean, what is why he's not getting along with things? Maybe you ought to look into insight and judgment and skill.

42:33 Josh Cooke It doesn't sound too bright to me. Is that too mean to say?

42:36 Caller Yeah, no.

42:37 Josh Cooke Sounds a little dim.

42:38 Adam No, but remember I was saying the A-holes?

42:41 Drew Yeah, yeah.

42:41 Adam In the rest of the world?

42:42 Drew Yeah.

42:42 Adam Yeah. It's not even the rest of the country. It's the rest of the world, really, that comes here. Anyway, Russ wanted to know how Josh got his start in acting. See, this guy's gonna bring me my omelet. G.O.'s.

42:55 Drew Telling you to F off?

42:56 Adam Yeah. Oh, you didn't know Denver Omelets came with a snot rocket? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. No, they got the minced ham, the onion, the bell pepper, and a nice snot rocket. That's what we put in there. Let me give everyone a tip on the omelets. Get them scrambled, better.

43:11 Drew You mean not folded over to scrambled eggs?

43:13 Adam Don't get them omelet-sized. Get the whole thing scrambled.

43:16 Drew Mixed.

43:16 Adam It's nice. It's mixed. Yeah. Yeah.

43:18 Josh Cooke No, don't give me that puss. Is there some stuff in there?

43:20 Adam No, no, no.

43:21 Drew Mix it all up. So scrambled eggs with...

43:23 Adam Hold on.

43:24 Drew I don't understand what's happening.

43:26 Josh Cooke I'm not versed in the breakfast food or anything.

43:28 Adam They do the omelet. Well, we're going out tomorrow. I'll get you caught up.

43:31 Josh Cooke Whoa.

43:32 Adam Yeah.

43:32 Josh Cooke That's kind of forward.

43:33 Adam Well, you sleep over, we wake up and we eat. That's how it works.

43:36 Josh Cooke Normal behavior.

43:37 Drew No, everyone that comes on the show for him, everyone sleeps with him.

43:39 Adam Everyone that comes on the show sleeps over.

43:41 Josh Cooke Yeah, he was talking about some kind of, you know, nautical-themed bar earlier. I'm just not sure what's happening.

43:46 Drew Oh, that's a special room.

43:47 Adam Yeah. You haven't earned the right to see that yet.

43:49 Josh Cooke All right. I'm just, I'm testing it. I'm sorry. Swab the decks are.

43:55 Adam So here's the thing. The omelet.

43:57 Drew There'll be some swabbing.

43:58 Adam It gets a little, yeah, a little belly. And whatever makes it a floor. Usually not much. Here's the point. No, but I'm hearing.

44:07 Josh Cooke And all of a sudden we're back to a religious conversation.

44:09 Adam Drew, please be quiet and let me explain the omelet. Everybody, everyone, you get the omelet. It's a little rubbery on the outside and sometimes.

44:17 Drew Too runny on the inside.

44:18 Adam A little runny on the inside, especially if you get some onions and some bell pepper and stuff.

44:21 Drew Tomatoes, tomatoes really make it rubbery.

44:23 Adam Tomatoes, right. It's all snotty on the inside because the moisture comes out when you cook it. A little rubbery, snotty. You don't need that. Scramble it all up. They'll gladly do it. It's better.

44:31 Josh Cooke It's better. Do you make omelets?

44:32 Adam No, this is how I order them.

44:34 Josh Cooke Are you one of those people in restaurants that says, listen, this is the way I want something. I want this this way. I want this way.

44:39 Drew Adam, you've never been accused of that. This is a sentinel moment.

44:41 Adam I just asked them to scramble. And you know what?

44:43 Josh Cooke I was just curious.

44:44 Adam They know. Unlike your wife who said, Jonah Salk over there with the salad dressing. She's in the lab, she's mixing up her own brand. Give me a break. Dario attacked me through.

44:56 Drew I just said it's a sentinel moment for you.

44:57 Josh Cooke Do we have a lot of combos of salad dressing with your wife? Is that what's going on?

45:02 Adam Here's how it works with Drew's wife. It's like, what kind of salad dressing do you have? We have a ranch, we have a Dijonais, we have creamy ranch, we have Italian, we have Roeford, we have blue cheese, we have Thousand Island. Do you have zesty Italian? Yeah, we have a private reserve. They asked me not to talk about it.

45:18 Drew She doesn't do that. She's going to bring the ranch, bring the olive oil, bring the Italian.

45:22 Adam Bring that.

45:23 Caller Bring it all over.

45:24 Adam Yeah, that's right. Bring the olive oil. I'm going to need some beakers and a Bunsen burner.

45:28 Drew Yeah, yeah. She's very creative.

45:30 Adam I don't need that, Drew.

45:31 Caller It's embarrassing.

45:32 Adam Plus, I get the residual snot that's going into her salad bounces off.

45:35 Drew You're right.

45:35 Adam That's true. Lands on my lasagna. All right. Now, where are we talking about? Get it scrambled. Scramble it. That's all I'm saying.

45:42 Drew Want to do a quick question, Florida, because we got one more.

45:44 Adam No, I want to know how Josh got in the show business. I hope.

45:46 Josh Cooke That sounds good. Actually, the Germany or Florida.

45:48 Drew I'm excited about that. We got 30 seconds.

45:50 Josh Cooke Oh, okay. Yeah, it was commercials. How about that? It was.

45:53 Drew What kind of commercials?

45:55 Josh Cooke Oh, man. What was it? Well, you know, the first commercial I ever did was for Lifestyle's condoms.

46:01 Drew Nice. Yeah.

46:02 Josh Cooke That was pretty awesome. It was before I came here, actually, though.

46:05 Drew That's Trojan, right? Is that Lifestyle's?

46:07 Caller What?

46:08 Adam Were you on?

46:08 Caller Trojan Lifestyle's?

46:09 Adam Your Lifestyle's? We're on the top and the bottom.

46:11 Josh Cooke Well, you know, it was funny. I had long hair.

46:15 Drew He's like, well, it's funny you should ask.

46:17 Josh Cooke No, because none of that at all. I had long hair and a ponytail back then. That was really exciting. And I was the bad guy from the wrong side of the tracks.

46:25 Adam Oh, who wanted not to use the condom.

46:27 Josh Cooke You know, all I know is I was seducing a preppy girl in a bar.

46:32 Adam Wow.

46:32 Josh Cooke It was amazing.

46:34 Adam We're going to go out to your car and get you real during the break because I've got to see this. Alright, let's take a little break. Josh Cooke is here tonight from Committed 930 NBC. Big time. No more condoms for Josh. He just pulls out now. He's big time. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

46:52 Alright guys, here's the deal.

46:53 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

46:57 Caller One call is all you need to make.

46:58 Josh Cooke Call the Dateline.

46:59 Caller 877-889-DATE.

47:02 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:33 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Josh Cooke is here tonight from Committed NBC. 932 is a nice way to question for Josh, but the guy dropped the F-bomb.

47:44 Drew What are you going to do?

47:45 Adam I had to tell another story about myself.

47:47 Caller Unacceptable.

47:51 Adam Let me just say this. We were talking during the break. We all went to the big bathroom and took a nice group whiz.

47:56 Josh Cooke It was very feminine.

47:58 Adam Josh was the only one who washed his hands, by the way. Drew and I were out of there.

48:01 Josh Cooke That's a true story.

48:02 Adam Yeah. Here's our new schedule. Drew walks two paces in front of me down the hall and then sneezes with his hands on his hip. He had coughs with his hands on his hip. So I just stand behind and my coffee cup becomes a petri dish. I just collect all the germs and that's it. I have to beg the doctor to put his goddamn hand over his mouth. He's just like, you know, you're like a crop duster for germs. And I'm just some farmer standing out in a bean field.

48:24 Josh Cooke You know, it's a foreign bourbon bourbon kills it.

48:28 Adam Really?

48:29 Drew I know he's going to go home and drink. And so what do I do?

48:31 Josh Cooke I just take it. You know, what do you do?

48:32 Adam Well, this time it really will be my medicine. You know, I call it that euphemistically.

48:37 Josh Cooke But tonight, no, really, it kills it.

48:39 Adam I'm going to drink that. Well, here's my point. Thank God I carry a flask. We were talking during the break about headphones, or as I call them cans in the business. And Drew was telling me about the new noise canceling ones from Bose and all. Here's my deal. And I don't know if any of you are like me, but I got a pair that went south. My wife's got a pair that went south. I have at least two pairs that gone south. What is it where the one ear starts getting bad and the wire gets a little weird and it's too thin? And you know what I'm talking about? It's usually the ones you go use for jogging or whatever, but somehow that connection in headphones where it plugs into whatever, iPod or whatever it is, pulls out a couple of times, gets bent a couple of times, then it starts with that little fuzz thing when you move around, but you pretty much, it's never on the headphones themselves, it's always where the cord plugs into the jack that does, and you start jiggling around, but eventually it stops and it doesn't work and it's one ear and it's never severed, it doesn't seem like anything you can do about it. You want a place where you can take just the cord and have them fix that cord, because most people toss a pair of $200 headphones.

49:47 Josh Cooke No, they're probably built that way.

49:49 Adam Really?

49:49 Josh Cooke I'm going to buy more.

49:50 Adam Yeah.

49:51 Drew But where do you take it? I was...

49:53 Adam No, I know that's what it is. I bought for Christmas, I'm so romantic, I bought my wife these SineHauser $180 noise cancelling things with the battery in it. It's actually got a battery in it, it's got some bass and stuff. She used it for three months, it was the greatest thing that she ever had. And then it started to thing.

50:12 Caller And she, hold on, she threw them out.

50:15 Adam She threw them out and I was like, what are you throwing them out for? We can fix them. She goes, you can fix them? I'm like, no, nobody can fix them, you're right.

50:22 Drew None of them have this, the coil, they all have the straight wire. And so when you stand up, that's pulling out.

50:27 Adam Mine then went out two weeks later and I haven't thrown it out because I can't throw out 180 bucks worth of thing, but they're no good to anybody. How do you do it?

50:35 Drew Where do you get them fixed? Where do you get them fixed?

50:38 Adam Where do you do that?

50:39 Drew I don't know.

50:39 Josh Cooke This is a company, individual company? No. Like Bose or something? You gotta go to like the Bose store.

50:44 Drew They used to be TV fix-it shops. Yeah. And that's where your electronic fix-it place is. Josh is like, what? Yeah.

50:50 Yeah, you used to take things to fix-it shops.

50:52 Drew Yes. You used to take your electronics to an appliance repair store. And it would always say TV out in front of it because that was a big thing to repair.

50:59 Adam You gotta get some tubes. Yeah. Now, and by the way, what a conspiracy that they've all convinced us. I just throw it out by now. Well, listen. It ain't worth it.

51:08 Drew Six months is gonna be no good anyway.

51:09 Adam No, but you-

51:09 Drew That's sort of the mentality.

51:10 Adam You would still use your Bose headphone.

51:12 Drew I'm just saying, now Bose has the Bose 2 out. And you know what? They are a lot better.

51:16 Adam You would enjoy your Bose 1.

51:18 Drew Yeah.

51:18 Adam All I'm saying is, is we have bought-

51:20 Josh Cooke But the Bose 2 is better.

51:22 Drew So much better.

51:22 Adam Well, then throw it out now and wait for the Bose 3, Jackass.

51:26 Josh Cooke And you know what? They've got Bose up to 16 planned out, you know. It's already-

51:31 Adam Oh, it's all in the-

51:32 Drew Let's take off.

51:33 Josh Cooke Now we're getting to conspiracy theories.

51:35 Adam Here's all I'm saying. How come we've bought that line where you gotta throw everything out when it breaks? That's no good. VCR? No, no, throw it out. Get a new one.

51:44 Drew Get a new one. Because we've gotten the idea that the hardware is worthless. The cell phone? No good. Throw it out. All of the stuff's gonna be washing up on the beach one day.

51:53 Adam I just want to find the guy who can make that thing go away on the headphones.

51:57 Drew Just think of that evolution. If that hardware had been available to us 30 years ago, we'd be like, oh my god, this is some of the magical boxes these people have.

52:06 Josh Cooke Now we're like, yeah, the hardware, it's not good.

52:08 Adam And believe me, the throw away stuff with the Corolla doesn't go over well. My family has the thing, the TV dinners come in and stuff, they're stacking them up like manhacks.

52:18 Caller The foil. The foil tricks.

52:19 Adam It's going to be worse than one day. And Drew, the Bose headphones you got me never worked right. It worked like once and then one of the cups. No. Yes.

52:28 Drew Oh, no.

52:28 Adam What do I do?

52:29 Drew That's the wrong way to get another one.

52:30 Caller All right.

52:32 Adam If anyone wants to come by my house, tomorrow is going to be some plasma screen, big pyramid of VCRs and plasma screens.

52:40 Josh Cooke Sort of half works.

52:41 Adam High def stuff, just stuff that never works.

52:43 Drew I'll be there.

52:43 Adam Be there?

52:44 Josh Cooke I will be there. I'll take that stuff.

52:46 Adam Brand worth of high-end equipment in front of the house. I'm chucking.

52:49 Josh Cooke From aggravation.

52:50 Adam Amy?

52:51 Hi.

52:52 Adam You're 19?

52:53 Caller Yeah.

52:54 Adam What's up baby? You depressed?

52:55 Caller No, I was knocking out, but that's cool.

52:58 Drew She's tired.

52:58 Caller This was aimed at Dr. Drew.

53:00 Drew Aiming at me, okay.

53:02 Caller Huh?

53:03 Drew All right, here we go.

53:04 Caller Okay. I got the double shot and my period turned brown.

53:08 Drew Yeah.

53:08 Caller And then, okay, when I stopped bleeding, I started having sex with my boyfriend again, but we've been kind of having rough sex lately. So the brownness kind of came back, but it wasn't like seeping through. It only comes out when I urinate. So I wanted to know if that was, if that could still be my period or if that's from irritation. And if it was from irritation, I want to know if that can cause a yeast infection.

53:30 Drew Okay. Well, slow down. This was your first depo shot?

53:34 Caller Yeah.

53:35 Drew They didn't tell you that you would have bleeding like this the whole time?

53:37 Caller No. Yeah. They told me I could have bleeding throughout the whole time.

53:40 Adam That's what this is. It's dried, right?

53:42 Drew It's just old blood, just thicker, older blood. And yes, any sex can stimulate further bleeding. So you have an unstable endometrium. It bleeds the whole month. Sexual behavior, sexual, even arousal, but especially intercourse, will cause more bleeding, okay? Rough or not, it will cause more bleeding. Rough probably could cause more, but you're not hurting anything. Could it cause a yeast infection? No. The depo provera could cause a yeast infection. Having sex can cause a yeast infection. Almost anything could cause a yeast infection. So if you're having what you believe to be a yeast infection, go ahead and try some over-the-counter medication, creams for that.

54:13 Adam Creams?

54:15 Drew Vaginal creams.

54:16 Adam Oh, you're adding them in there?

54:17 Drew You gotta put them in there.

54:18 Adam Watch, my blow gun comes in again.

54:20 Drew Yeah, except you have to actually blow it in.

54:21 Adam I do.

54:22 Drew It's like the painting thing. All right, you got all that, Amy?

54:25 Adam Hairless sprayer. Yeah.

54:26 Drew You need a squirt gun?

54:27 Adam Yeah. Amy, all right, there you go. But congratulations on the rough sex. That's nice. Do you want the rough sex or is that your boyfriend?

54:37 Caller Both ways.

54:38 Caller What do you mean by rough?

54:41 Caller Like basically I'll get irritated after a while, but I'll still want to have sex, so we will.

54:48 Adam But what do you mean by rough?

54:49 Caller Like rough thrusting.

54:53 Adam Vigorous. Remember those days, Drew?

54:55 Yes, I have bruises on my thighs.

54:57 Caller That helps.

54:58 Drew You have what?

54:59 Adam Bruises?

54:59 Caller Yeah, I have bruises on my thighs.

55:02 Adam That's nice.

55:02 Drew You really like that?

55:05 Caller Yeah.

55:06 Drew Or is it just that he likes that and you like pleasing him?

55:09 Caller Oh, no, I like it as well.

55:11 Drew Okay.

55:11 Adam Any abuse in the past?

55:13 Caller Oh, no. Well, I mean, you would consider it abuse, no? Because I mean, I got hit as a child.

55:19 Drew Well, that's where we're going because people that need-

55:21 Josh Cooke That sounds like abuse.

55:21 Drew Yeah, people who need a lot of stimulation sexually often have some physical abuse in the past.

55:26 Adam Who hit you?

55:27 Caller My dad.

55:28 Josh Cooke All right.

55:28 Drew They have a good time, so yeah.

55:30 Adam What is that?

55:30 Josh Cooke It's so sad that it's still commonplace nowadays. It's like, no, my dad. It's just normal.

55:34 Drew Well, everybody gets beaten, right?

55:36 Josh Cooke I mean, it's terrible.

55:37 Drew Yeah, and most- It affects your brain development. That's what I would think so. Absolutely. That's messed up.

55:42 Josh Cooke Some of these people's trust is smacking you around.

55:45 Adam Most people, by the way-

55:46 Drew Josh, Josh, you're just a little bit healthy here, you're kind of concerned.

55:48 Adam Yeah.

55:49 Drew Right.

55:49 Josh Cooke Yeah, we need to- Well, we were saying earlier, people have too many babies coming out from people who shouldn't be having babies.

55:58 Adam That's it.

55:59 Josh Cooke I mean, that's-

56:00 Drew That's the whole deal. It's not- That's it. It's in the show now. It's it. We always say no more. Well, it-

56:05 Adam That's it. You can flip over all the cards because Josh got the secret password.

56:10 Drew He did.

56:11 Adam That's what it is, too many screwed up people cranking out screwed up kids. It's a pretty easy math equation that nobody seems to want to speak of.

56:22 Josh Cooke If you want to say it, you go to Vegas and you go to like one of the cheaper, crappier hotels. You know, when you go in there and you see the family, the families there with the little children and they're dragging behind the casinos and they're getting it. Hey, you know, keep up smacking them in the head, bringing it with you. What's wrong? First of all, you're in Vegas with the kids.

56:39 Drew Right.

56:40 Josh Cooke Second of all, you're smacking them in public so you don't care.

56:43 Drew Imagine what they don't private.

56:44 Josh Cooke Yeah, exactly.

56:45 Drew They think it's okay. I think it's fine. It's just how you treat your kids. Look at me, I'm fine. And my dad treated me this way.

56:51 Adam Oh, they do a lot. I turned out great.

56:53 Drew Yeah.

56:54 Adam Really?

56:55 Caller I feel so happy. My life is flowers.

57:00 Adam Yeah. Why, if we could straighten that out, we'd have the world by the tail. That would be it. No more crime.

57:08 Drew You know, the book that I wrote that you haven't read was basically about that.

57:11 Adam How dare you say I haven't read it?

57:15 Drew It was basically about that. I'm surprised more people weren't sort of interested in the crack.

57:18 Adam Oh, really? I'm surprised you sold two. Come on.

57:21 Drew 50,000.

57:22 Caller 50,000.

57:24 Caller Yeah.

57:25 Drew But Jenny Jameson and...

57:29 Adam Oh, she read it.

57:30 Drew No, no. Jenny Jameson sold two or three million copies.

57:33 Caller Yeah.

57:34 Drew Well, that's Jenny McCarthy. A million copies.

57:36 Josh Cooke If you had either of them on the cover, that's what it says. I don't know.

57:39 Adam Yeah. How many albums did Ashley Simpson sell last year and how many did Elvis Costello sell?

57:47 Drew I don't know.

57:48 Adam Just do the crap, man.

57:49 Josh Cooke Thank you so much for saying that.

57:52 Adam These are the idiots, though. These are the people we're bringing in the world who are turning into these consumers. Do you know what I mean? We just got a lot of idiots. Let's face it. No accounting for bad taste.

58:01 Josh Cooke Yeah, that's true. Pop music charts. Yeah.

58:04 Drew I think they're Germany or Florida.

58:05 Adam Germany or Florida. This is going to be exciting.

58:07 Josh Cooke I'm excited to be a part of this, I have to say.

58:10 Adam Andrew?

58:11 Caller Yeah.

58:12 Adam Go ahead.

58:13 Caller Okay. An elderly woman was mistakenly sent to a city morgue only to die a few days later from the cold. Police are now investigating the doctor who renounced the 72-year-old lady dead before she was sent to the morgue. The woman fell down an old people's home and lost consciousness early last month. The color of her skin led the doctor to believe that she was dead.

58:35 Josh Cooke By the color of the skin. How do they find out if that's false?

58:39 Adam You don't judge a woman by the color of her skin.

58:41 Drew You're right.

58:42 Adam A character.

58:42 Josh Cooke It's a mirror in front of the mouth.

58:44 Drew What I want to know is how do they know she wasn't dead and then left her there for two days to die?

58:50 Josh Cooke You know what I'm saying?

58:51 Adam Yeah.

58:51 Drew How do they figure out that she was alive for those two days before she died?

58:55 Adam Yeah. Yeah. How do they know when? I mean, they do an autopsy. Maybe they realize she died ten minutes ago, not three days ago. Yes? Possible?

59:04 Josh Cooke Doesn't seem like people who aren't checking pulses are doing really good autopsy reports. I don't know. Could be wrong.

59:09 Adam Anyway, sounds fishy. Sounds fishy.

59:11 Drew Yeah.

59:12 Adam Josh, what do you think? Germany or Florida?

59:16 Josh Cooke I'm going to go Germany.

59:17 Drew I can't see what this could happen in Florida. It doesn't even fit with...

59:20 Adam We're all wrong.

59:21 Josh Cooke What are you talking about? Look at 2000.

59:24 Adam Yeah, the election.

59:25 Josh Cooke I mean, please. I didn't think it happened on there.

59:28 Drew It happened.

59:28 Adam What do you think, Drew?

59:30 Drew Germany.

59:30 Adam Germany? I went Germany. We all went?

59:32 Drew I know.

59:33 Adam I know.

59:33 Drew The same kind of thinking led me down the wrong path last night.

59:36 Adam What? Led to World War II. Forget about the wrong path. Nobody's standing up and saying anything. Well, it's your chance.

59:43 Drew This is it.

59:44 Adam I'm going Germany, too.

59:47 Caller All right.

59:48 Adam Andrew, we're all in on Germany. Is it Germany or Florida? You're all right. Yeah. Hold on.

59:57 Josh Cooke Nothing changes.

59:58 Caller Yeah.

59:59 Caller Yeah. Hell yeah.

1:00:02 Adam It's been a long time, Drew. A long time. I really had to get that off my chest. I know you guys think I just won Germany because you two won Germany, but.

1:00:11 Drew No, no, no. I could tell you felt Germany.

1:00:14 Adam Well, I won because of one of you won.

1:00:15 Drew Oh, okay.

1:00:16 Adam I'm going to be honest.

1:00:16 Drew Mine, too.

1:00:17 Adam Okay. I'm not going to say which one, Josh, but it was Josh. Mikey.

1:00:23 Drew He's trying to buddy you up for tonight.

1:00:24 Adam Yeah.

1:00:25 Josh Cooke And for tomorrow morning.

1:00:26 Drew He's flirt with the scrambled omelets, quote unquote.

1:00:29 Adam You'll never go back down.

1:00:30 Josh Cooke That's a freaking code name.

1:00:31 Adam I'm going to scramble your omelets. We can toss that salad and scramble that omelet. Mikey.

1:00:38 Caller Hey, how are you doing?

1:00:39 Adam 23. What's up?

1:00:40 Caller Hey, so I'm diabetic and I've been having some problems getting it up. So I was wondering what are my options? What can I do about it?

1:00:50 Drew Well, did you have several episodes of diabetic ketoacidosis when you were younger?

1:00:56 Caller Yes, I recently had this.

1:00:58 Drew Yeah, so you've not been attending to your diabetes very well, right?

1:01:02 Caller No, not recently. It's been getting better lately. My average is down to about 150 now.

1:01:06 Drew All right, but that is your number one goal, is to make sure you have extremely tight, what's called glycemic control. How do you do that? You don't do that with this insulin. You got to adjust his insulin, check his red sugar regularly and maintain a proper diet.

1:01:19 Adam What about those testers I see on the commercials?

1:01:21 Drew Yeah, he's a TB.

1:01:22 Adam King, so like testing himself.

1:01:23 Drew All right, if I had diabetes, I would take Humalog for each meal and I'd use like a long acne NPH or something twice a day.

1:01:29 Adam What's Humalog?

1:01:30 Drew It's a type of acne.

1:01:30 Caller Yeah, I'm on Lantus right now, it's a 24-hour...

1:01:33 Drew Lantus is very long acne, but you should also have something to... Are you on Actos or something also? Actos? Avandia?

1:01:41 Caller No.

1:01:42 Drew But you should be on something to cover your meals also and you should be checking...

1:01:46 Caller Oh yeah, Humalog.

1:01:47 Drew Humalog, that's what I'm saying.

1:01:49 Adam Well, the diabetes has affected his brain.

1:01:53 Drew But the fact is that the high blood sugar affects the blood supply, affects the tiny vessels that nourish your nerves and the more sensitive nerves are down in the genital area and they get damaged and you get erectile problems very easily as a diabetic. In fact, medications like Viagra are really designed for you. So that's what you got to try. You got Cialis, Viagra or Levitra.

1:02:13 Josh Cooke What's Viagra? What's the use of Viagra going on there? What's that all about?

1:02:17 Drew He can't get out of the erection.

1:02:20 Josh Cooke And that won't mess anything up?

1:02:22 Drew This is what the manufacturer designed for this. And this is what it's for. It's for the people with heart disease and diabetes that have biological erectile dysfunction.

1:02:29 Josh Cooke I have absolutely no idea about that. What? That's interesting.

1:02:32 Adam Don't play stupid.

1:02:33 Josh Cooke No, I have no idea. I don't know anything. I don't know if I agree.

1:02:35 Adam Crush them up and put them in your arm tomorrow.

1:02:38 Caller They'll be on it.

1:02:39 Adam Drew.

1:02:40 Josh Cooke It's been four days. I'm worried.

1:02:43 Adam What are those things where they show them testing and the little paper comes out and stuff? I see the commercials.

1:02:47 Drew Yeah, they pick their finger and they get blood and they put it on a tester and they...

1:02:51 Adam Yeah, but no, no, no, no. I mean, I'm telling the ones where it's like it's all mechanized and everything. They just, yeah. They don't prick their finger and do it. I think it all...

1:02:58 Josh Cooke It's like a finger cap or something.

1:03:00 Drew Yeah, they put their finger in everything. The good ones are where you check your blood.

1:03:04 Adam Oh, where you're just draining your own blood out. No, they do the thing. You put your finger in the thing, little thing, little paper comes out. What's the paper for?

1:03:12 Drew Just to have a written...

1:03:13 Adam A little readout? And that tells you what?

1:03:15 Drew Your blood sugar.

1:03:16 Adam It's not a stock ticker?

1:03:17 Drew No, no, blood sugar. How the company is doing that creates the instrument.

1:03:21 Adam Did anyone ever read one of those stock tickers? They would just always come pouring out. People would be staring at it. Did anyone ever read one of those?

1:03:29 Drew That's all they had in the old days.

1:03:31 Adam I know, I still don't think anyone read one. I think they just came out. Like any movie involving a stock ticker, you know what it always played like? Always played like the gambling scenes where it's a lot of smoking guys holding bills up over their head.

1:03:43 Caller It's like, no!

1:03:44 Adam And then one guy lands a punch on the other guy and more action changes. You know the gambling scenes? No one writes anything down. Nobody's clear who owes what. It plays like a movie scene. It's a scene from a movie. It's never, you gamble, you pick a fighter, you pick a football team or somebody writes it down. They want to know. You don't change like the other team scores and now there's more action. What? No, you took the Raiders. You can't change. And the guy's holding all the money and swung his scars, like seems to know what everyone's doing. And there's never any, oh no, I definitely bet on, no, I bet on the Mexican dude. What do you mean? No, no, you owe me. When that just happened at the end, it would be a big argument.

1:04:27 Drew Yes, yes.

1:04:27 Adam No, come on, I'm just saying it more real. Same with the stock tickers, just flying, people yelling, buying, selling. But Drew, so you get this thing, you put your finger in it, it tests your blood, and it tells you where you're at. And you should do it every day.

1:04:40 Drew Oh, you should do it three or four times a day.

1:04:42 Adam Three or four times a day.

1:04:43 Drew At least twice a day, at least twice a day.

1:04:45 Adam Really?

1:04:46 Josh Cooke You said with meals?

1:04:47 Drew Well, you adjust your insulin and your diet, it depends on your calorie intake and what you're gonna eat and that kind of thing.

1:04:53 Adam But can't you eventually just work it out, like, look, I eat my scrambled omelet in the morning, I eat this, I eat that, I eat the same thing as consistent.

1:05:02 Drew That's the best way to do it. And then you should still check because all kinds of things can send your blood sugar reeling, stress, changes in your sleep pattern.

1:05:09 Adam Really?

1:05:09 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so they made it much better if they're on a very regimented pattern, but you still have to kind of keep an eye on it because they can start getting low too and they can become unconscious and go into insulin coma.

1:05:18 Adam Yeah, that's when you hump them.

1:05:19 Drew That's when you get to them, man.

1:05:21 Caller That's when I move in.

1:05:23 Adam Finish the rest of the scrambled omelet and then I'm right on top of them. There you go. And the pills, you take a pill each time?

1:05:29 Drew Well, I ask you about...

1:05:31 Adam Ejections?

1:05:31 Drew No, it's mostly, the guys like this that are childhood diabetics, it's almost exclusively insulin, but there is some pills now that help the body.

1:05:38 Adam You have to inject yourself with insulin? No other way to take it?

1:05:41 Drew Not right now. And this guy, some of these guys, there's a couple of medicines out there that help the body utilize insulin. It was called a Vandia or Actos.

1:05:52 Adam A Vandia.

1:05:52 Drew And we use those for the type 2 diabetics routinely. Those are the ones that get it later in life for their resistant insulin effects.

1:05:58 Adam You know what a Vandia sounds like? Once in a while they make one of those kooky movies where like Richard Dreyfuss is the Tsar of a fictitious Eastern Bloc. He's the Tsar of a Vandia, all hail. You don't have to make up a fake country. A Vandia works at that. Okay.

1:06:13 Drew I agree.

1:06:14 Josh Cooke I like where your mind goes.

1:06:16 Adam Thanks, brother.

1:06:17 Drew Zach, 14.

1:06:18 Adam Always a little distracting. Can't you just pick a real country?

1:06:21 Drew I know.

1:06:22 Adam I feel that way. You know what I feel? I feel that way in those shows like, what was it, like Melrose Place, or 90210 when they were go to college. Couldn't they go to UCLA? They have to go to California College. It has to be a distraction.

1:06:37 Drew And they're at UCLA. And they're at UCLA?

1:06:40 Adam Yeah. Hey, that's Royce Hall over there. No, it's not. It's California College. No, I can see the big blue and gold. No, just cut a deal with a college. Have them go to a college. There's 500,000 colleges.

1:06:52 Drew That's why I understand why they don't cut a deal with the colleges. They pay to have the advertising, I would think.

1:06:56 Adam Oh, it's distracting when they have a fictitious sports team. It's distracting when they have a made up country. And it's the height of distraction when they have a made up university.

1:07:06 Josh Cooke This bothers you, suspension of disbelief.

1:07:08 Drew Why did you make up the... You went to Beverly Hills High.

1:07:11 Adam Yeah.

1:07:11 Drew You didn't make that up.

1:07:12 Adam Go to Cal State Fullerton, you idiots. Please. Then you got a whole team built in. You got a letterman check. You don't have to make anything up custom. Why not? Just do it. Give the school a little taste. They're cool. It's fine. I think the school's freaked out because of the date rape episode.

1:07:30 Drew No, I bet the schools will pay for it.

1:07:32 Adam No, they don't pay for the date rape episode. Good publicity.

1:07:37 Drew Just spell the name right, Eddie, just spell the name right.

1:07:39 Adam All right, all right. Zach?

1:07:42 Caller Yep.

1:07:43 Adam Yeah.

1:07:44 Drew What's going on, buddy?

1:07:44 Adam Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.

1:07:46 Drew 14.

1:07:47 Adam Year 14, what's up?

1:07:49 I have a question for Dr. Drew.

1:07:51 Drew Yeah.

1:07:52 What kind of training does it take to be what you do, to be an addiction specialist?

1:07:57 Drew You go to medical school, and then you either do an internal medicine or a psychiatric residency, and then you do a fellowship in addiction.

1:08:04 Adam Yeah, and your daddy's got to know the dean, you know? Yeah.

1:08:08 Drew If Adam were to go, it would have to be that way.

1:08:10 Adam Yeah.

1:08:11 Drew But no, it takes about, that's about, including college, it's about 14 years.

1:08:18 Adam 14 years of what? From when to when?

1:08:20 Drew Four years of college, four years of medical school.

1:08:21 Adam Senior, from the time you graduate high school?

1:08:24 Drew Yeah.

1:08:24 Adam Let's add it up.

1:08:25 Drew Four years of college.

1:08:26 Adam Four years of college.

1:08:26 Drew Four years of medical school.

1:08:27 Adam Four years of medical school.

1:08:28 Drew Four years of residency.

1:08:29 Adam Four years of residency. That's 18 years.

1:08:32 Drew And then, what is that now, 13?

1:08:33 Adam That's 12.

1:08:34 Drew 12, and then one year of fellowship, 13 years.

1:08:36 Adam So that's 19.

1:08:37 Drew 13.

1:08:37 What's my parents in the medical field? I can't do what they do.

1:08:41 Adam What, what's that?

1:08:43 Caller What's my parents in the medical field right now?

1:08:45 Drew Yeah.

1:08:45 Adam They are.

1:08:45 Caller And Adam, you're saying you can't scrape bodies off the pavement?

1:08:50 Adam Yeah, I can't do that, no.

1:08:51 Caller Yeah, that's what my dad does. He's a helicopter nurse for each air medical field.

1:08:57 Drew Oh, that's gotta be rough.

1:09:00 Adam Calling the chopper in is sort of the equivalent to in the football game when the lineman goes down and they do the cart move, the steering wheel move. When you see that cart move, uh-oh, we got a compound fracture. When no one's going to help them off the field, we're getting a cart. Yeah. When they call for the helicopter, that's a bad sign. And by the way, being the nurse in the helicopter's rough, because imagine a skirt would blow up over his head and the chopper blades and everything, and a little pinned hat would come flying off.

1:09:27 Caller All right.

1:09:29 Josh Cooke Because nurse sounds like a girl.

1:09:31 Caller That's a girl, John. Is it hot in here?

1:09:35 Adam What's your mom, Lumberjack?

1:09:38 Caller No, mom's actually a nurse too.

1:09:40 Caller Oh, okay.

1:09:43 Adam Touche, my friend.

1:09:45 Drew Does that mean you're interested in the addiction field?

1:09:47 Caller Huh?

1:09:48 Drew You're interested in addiction? Yes. Seriously, I've been talking about this book tonight, but get cracked and read it. You'll see what my life is like with that and see if you really still want to do it.

1:09:56 Adam Like a chef, you must try all the drugs first to truly become an expert.

1:10:00 Drew It's called Cracked C-R-A-C-K-E-D, okay?

1:10:03 Caller Okay.

1:10:04 Drew Go read that.

1:10:04 Adam All right, buddy. What are you in the ninth grade?

1:10:07 Caller Yeah, I'm a freshman.

1:10:08 Adam Okay. How are your grades?

1:10:11 Caller They're pretty good. I got a 3.0 average.

1:10:13 Adam 3.0.

1:10:14 Drew That's a D, right? Uh-oh, you need to push it up a bit there, Zach.

1:10:17 Caller Push it up.

1:10:18 Adam That's as high as it gets.

1:10:20 Drew What's that?

1:10:21 Caller I'm like one of the best schools in the United States, top 100 schools.

1:10:24 Caller Okay.

1:10:25 All right.

1:10:25 Adam All right, Zach.

1:10:26 Drew Still on the top. You got to get at least a B plus. Most schools get in the right colleges.

1:10:30 Right.

1:10:30 Drew Position yourself on medical.

1:10:31 Well, we keep pushing.

1:10:32 Caller What would you recommend for North California, Northern California?

1:10:36 Drew College?

1:10:37 Caller Yeah.

1:10:37 Adam How about California University?

1:10:39 Drew Stanford or Berkeley?

1:10:40 Caller Yeah.

1:10:41 Adam Let me say this true, Drew. I'm no college student, that's for sure. But I do know that if you really got to hit the books, you got to go to one of those places that lends you the books, the house of the 20 books.

1:10:53 Caller The library.

1:10:55 Adam Now, I think it's got the word book in it. I'm pretty sure it's got, but it's a big place and they got books.

1:11:00 Drew Let's use only the Spanish translation of library. We'll use biblioteca because then biblioteca is right there in the name.

1:11:06 Josh Cooke See, this is what messes up because now it sounds religious. Now it's all religious text.

1:11:11 Adam Oh, it's called book tech. Yeah, yeah.

1:11:14 Book tech.

1:11:16 Adam The Mexicans got a certain way of cutting through the fog. Yeah, they're clear thinkers. Well, it's kind of a country that has to be laid out like a preschool toy. Otherwise, people are going to get confused and hurt themselves. It's just laid all out, big buttons, clearly marked. You know what I mean? All right. That's what you're asking for.

1:11:35 Drew No, that's a compliment. I understand.

1:11:37 Adam I'm saying no. Yeah. Josh Cooke here tonight. It's true. They just don't want anyone taking an eye out on anything sharp over there. That's all. Take a quick break. Be right back after this. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Josh Cooke is here tonight from Committed on NBC 930 Tuesday nights. Josh, you know what I like about Josh? Regular Joe. Good people. Thank you. Not one of these pretentious actors. We'll see a season three like a Coke spoon hanging off your nose and you'll be doing that talk to the hand stuff.

1:12:24 Josh Cooke Go over wearing a bathrobe, that kind of stuff.

1:12:26 Adam Yeah.

1:12:26 Josh Cooke Which I sort of do sometimes anyway.

1:12:28 Adam Yeah. And we won't have you on the show. And it'll be one of these things too where I'll be like, producer Anne, did you talk to Josh?

1:12:34 Josh Cooke He's a buddy.

1:12:35 Adam He's a cool guy. And he'll be like, his publicist said the show's, it didn't agree with Josh's sensibilities. And then I'll get angry and say, then everyone spoke to Josh, but we'll never know the answer, will we, Drew?

1:12:46 Josh Cooke But then one day I'll show up all the time. He's banging on the door, but let me in.

1:12:48 Drew No, Josh.

1:12:49 Josh Cooke Please.

1:12:49 Drew You'd be amazed how often this happens. Adam was like, I just had lunch with him yesterday. He wanted to come on the show. No, no, no. His publicist says no. Well, he was upset last time. He talked about Martin Luther King and spoke disparagingly about him. He couldn't come back.

1:13:04 Josh Cooke Because he is my dad.

1:13:07 Adam All right. Let's keep going here. I didn't know. I didn't say anything disparaging about the great Dr. King. I was just curious.

1:13:13 Drew My bigger part. He spoke disparagingly about God.

1:13:15 Adam Yes. That's all. Rebecca.

1:13:18 Josh Cooke He's not my dad.

1:13:19 Caller Yes.

1:13:20 Adam You're 17?

1:13:21 Caller I am.

1:13:22 Adam What's up?

1:13:24 Caller Okay. I was just wondering about pre-cum. I just saw some virginity.

1:13:32 Josh Cooke I missed that. What about what?

1:13:34 Adam It's a syndrome that strikes two out of every five teenage boys. It's the heartbreak of pre-cum.

1:13:41 Caller That's right. Okay. And so we didn't use birth control or any sort of contraceptive. And I was just curious, what's the probability of that?

1:13:54 Adam Well, Drew, it is not as laden with semen or with sperm as semen would be, right?

1:14:03 Drew As a big, right?

1:14:04 Adam Is it is, but is it just about mass or is there something else going on?

1:14:08 Drew No, some people, some studies have shown that that little bit, that the tip can be more highly concentrated in sperm actually.

1:14:15 Adam Really?

1:14:15 Drew But look, all that has to happen is the sperm gets introduced into the vagina and finds its way up to the uterus. That's it.

1:14:22 Adam That is bad news.

1:14:22 Drew Is that going to happen? Rebecca, I don't know. But every time a penis enters a vagina, that can happen every time. So I don't know how we calculate that probability.

1:14:32 Adam Well, she wanted to know if that was so-called pre-cum had sperm in it.

1:14:38 Drew Yes, and it could make her pregnant. No doubt. Any time a penis penetrates a vagina, there's the possibility of pregnancy. No matter when you are in your period, no matter who you are, where you are, unless you're through menopause or not having menstruated yet, you're going to get pregnant.

1:14:54 Adam But better to have a little pre-cum on your period than it is in the middle of the cycle and a full load. Am I right? Thank you. Very pragmatic.

1:15:05 Caller I have another question.

1:15:07 Adam Yeah.

1:15:07 Caller Okay. I'm still kind of in pain and I'm still kind of bleeding a little bit. Do you think like how much longer is that going to last? Does that just depend from person to person?

1:15:19 Drew Where's the pain?

1:15:22 Caller Well, it's just like really sensitive and it's like I can... It feels kind of like a cramp on my period, but it's not.

1:15:31 Drew Yeah. This is mid-cycle bleeding. Having sex can stimulate bleeding.

1:15:36 Caller Okay.

1:15:37 Drew So it's your period basically.

1:15:39 Adam All right. So what should you do?

1:15:41 Drew Nothing. Well, morning after pill if it was in the last 72 hours.

1:15:49 Caller Well, it wasn't.

1:15:50 Drew Okay. Okay. So you're just a stimulator.

1:15:52 Adam You're fine. But you get on some birth control. Is this your boyfriend?

1:15:56 Caller No. It's a really bad situation actually.

1:16:00 Adam Okay.

1:16:01 Drew Why?

1:16:01 Adam What's going on?

1:16:04 Caller Oh, it's my boss.

1:16:06 Drew Oh, very nice.

1:16:07 Caller Really?

1:16:08 Drew Manager of a restaurant.

1:16:09 Adam You work at a restaurant?

1:16:10 Caller No. Where do you work?

1:16:13 Adam What kind of place?

1:16:16 Caller I'd rather not say.

1:16:17 Drew What kind of place?

1:16:19 Caller At the bank.

1:16:21 Drew How old is this guy?

1:16:22 Josh Cooke Nice.

1:16:23 Caller He's 31.

1:16:24 Drew Oh, for God's sakes. Rebecca, come on. Is he married?

1:16:27 Josh Cooke Good Lord.

1:16:27 Caller Uh-huh.

1:16:28 Drew Oh, no.

1:16:29 Josh Cooke Of course he's married. Of course he is.

1:16:31 Adam Does he go like, listen, I got to make a deposit in the overnight slot, if you know what I'm saying, wait in the van.

1:16:37 Drew This guy's an ass.

1:16:38 Adam Yeah. Drew's angry.

1:16:39 Drew This guy is an ass.

1:16:40 Adam Drew is angry. I'm jealous. Drew's angry.

1:16:42 Drew You're jealous.

1:16:42 Caller You're jealous? Well, jealous he's angry.

1:16:45 Adam I'm jealous that Drew's angry, but I do wish I was a better man like Drew, so I could be jealous. I mean, angry, yeah. So I am jealous in a way.

1:16:52 Drew You're envious of me. You're jealous of her buddy.

1:16:54 Adam That's right. I wish I could be like Drew, but I'm not. Now I'm angry and envious of this guy, because, you know, he's a 30-year-old guy. He gets to have sex with a 17-year-old. Rebecca, no more of this.

1:17:05 Drew You should report him to whoever the boss boss is.

1:17:08 Adam Smith Barney.

1:17:09 Drew You could own that bank.

1:17:10 Adam Mr. Drysdale.

1:17:12 Caller Hang on. So basically this just stimulated my period, or what is that about?

1:17:17 Drew Yes. Yes. Having sex can make people have their period, basically make them have mid-cycle bleeding. Yeah.

1:17:23 Adam Stop having sex with your boss.

1:17:25 Drew And God knows the other thing you can get is infections, you can get tubal pregnancies, and if the bleeding continues, the pain continues, you've got to get a pelvic exam.

1:17:30 Josh Cooke It worries me she's more worried about that than this situation.

1:17:34 Drew Yes, and this is a horrible guy. I mean the situation needs to stop, but no, you need to report this.

1:17:38 Caller I've been dealing with the situation for a while, so I'm kind of used to it.

1:17:42 Drew You're 17. For a while? You shouldn't be dealing with it, you should be telling Mr. Drysdale, because this is-

1:17:46 Adam That's right, her Jane Hathaway.

1:17:48 Drew Mrs. Hathaway, they're already chirping away at me.

1:17:49 Adam Okay. All right, listen, hey Rebecca, why, this guy's having sex with you, but he's not using a condom?

1:17:57 Drew Well, listen, he's raping you, you're 17, you can't even have-

1:18:01 Adam You're raping my question, Drew.

1:18:03 Drew But the point is this guy's a criminal, he's misusing his power and authority as a boss. I mean, he definitely will lose his job and he should be arrested.

1:18:11 Josh Cooke Sounds like he's forcing it too.

1:18:12 Drew Oh my God.

1:18:13 Adam Well, just quiet, I want to know what's going on. Is he having intercourse with you?

1:18:17 Caller Yes, one time, maybe one time.

1:18:19 Adam One time, and he didn't use a condom?

1:18:22 Caller No.

1:18:23 Adam And are you planning on, is he planning on doing it again?

1:18:27 Caller Not he, but we are, yes.

1:18:29 Adam You're both planning on it, and you think you're in love with him?

1:18:32 Caller No, I know that for sure.

1:18:34 Adam You know that for sure? Yeah, why not, why have sex with him?

1:18:39 Caller I have no idea.

1:18:41 Drew Danger?

1:18:41 Adam You're turned on.

1:18:43 Drew Were you sexually abused growing up or something, too?

1:18:45 Caller I was not, actually. The only abuse that I had growing up was emotional. That was it.

1:18:51 Drew Yeah.

1:18:52 Adam That's it? She was raped by an ATM.

1:18:54 Drew Dad must have been an A-hole. Her dad must have been an A-hole.

1:18:58 Adam I'm sorry.

1:18:59 Drew I'm too upset about this whole call.

1:19:01 Adam All right, buddy. I'm jealous that Drew's upset. Rebecca, we hate your dad. He did a horrible job with you. Now, no more with...

1:19:08 Caller No, my dad is a perfect dad. I love my dad. I have a great relationship with him.

1:19:14 Drew But maybe at one time you didn't.

1:19:16 Adam Okay. Well, then respect him. Stop disrespecting him by hopping on some ancient guy who works at the bank. He's too old for you, and he's married. Well, I hate to say it, but in your eyes, ancient. Okay. Which makes us dead, by the way.

1:19:31 Drew She's a dead. She's the victim of a violent crime.

1:19:33 Adam I didn't hear.

1:19:34 Drew She's a rape.

1:19:35 Adam I drew it. Your mouth is moving and nothing's coming out. You're dead.

1:19:37 Drew You're like anime.

1:19:38 Adam It's a weekend at Bernie's.

1:19:41 Drew All right.

1:19:42 Adam Stop it. All right. Now look, here's what I want to say. You're not going to get these people to report anything or to do anything. All you can do is get them to stop, I believe.

1:19:51 Drew Yeah, but I don't like the fact that these guys are out there.

1:19:55 Adam That's true, and I'm jealous of you.

1:19:56 Drew No, I'm not jealous. I'm angry that... See, I think that when people in authority abuse and exploit like that, it unravels everything.

1:20:04 Adam I totally agree. Michelle, give me some more coffee. Hurry. Hurry, sweetie. A little tap on the ass. Go, baby. What were we saying, Drew?

1:20:12 Drew That she was a victim of a violent crime. That crime was rape. A violent crime.

1:20:16 Adam Okay, but...

1:20:17 Drew Go, come on, bite. So, explain, Josh, about violent crime.

1:20:20 Adam Oh, I don't want to. I'm too tired.

1:20:22 Josh Cooke What's the violent crime situation you're talking about?

1:20:25 Adam I'm too tired.

1:20:26 Josh Cooke Come on.

1:20:27 Drew Give it to me. He wants it.

1:20:27 Josh Cooke I want to hear it. Just give it to me. Okay.

1:20:32 Adam All I'm saying, Josh, is that rape is not a sexual crime. You understand? It's a violent crime where you come at the end. But not sexual. It's violent. It's totally violent. But you orgasm on the, oftentimes on the victim. And let me say this too, and don't laugh, because it's no different than, let's just say Drew was going out to his car tonight. I came leaping out of the bushes, came, and then beat the crap out of it.

1:21:03 Drew It is no, it's violent.

1:21:05 Caller And not sexual.

1:21:06 Adam Not sexual.

1:21:07 Drew But you ejaculate.

1:21:08 Adam But you ejaculate? But it's not sexual. Like many other things where you ejaculate that aren't sexual.

1:21:14 Caller Think of the hundreds of things you do every day.

1:21:17 Drew A liquor store robbery.

1:21:18 Adam Ejaculation? Not sexual.

1:21:20 Josh Cooke He's got this terrible image of Adam running around with like a stick.

1:21:24 Caller Ejaculating for anything he sees.

1:21:26 Caller But not sexual.

1:21:27 Drew Only violent. No, violent. Not sexual.

1:21:29 Caller He's not happy about it.

1:21:30 Drew He's angry. He's committing violent crime, but not sexual.

1:21:33 Adam Not sexual.

1:21:34 Drew He's just ejaculating.

1:21:36 Adam Rape is a violent, non-sexual crime where you come at the end. Or sometimes in the middle. Whatever you're done. That's how you know you're done. But the point is it is not sexual. You're just orgasm.

1:21:52 Josh Cooke Wait, clinically speaking, it is a violent crime.

1:21:57 Defining rape. What is the actual?

1:21:59 Drew A violent crime where you ejaculate. That's all. Non-sexual violent crime, we ejaculate it preferably in the person.

1:22:07 Adam No, we're just making fun.

1:22:10 Josh Cooke We're, damn, I missed.

1:22:12 Adam We're, yeah, I hit the black dot once in a while. I had to pay for the steam cleaner. I had to get the high pressure hose up. But here's the point. We're just making fun of, I don't know, when it started. Must have been about 20 years ago when everyone kept doing that angry lesbians, you know, your barber, boxer types, who would be doing that, it is not a sexual crime. Yeah, it's just violence. It's pretty sexual, the guys are busting a nut. I think it is a sexual crime.

1:22:42 Drew By the way, it includes violence, and it's a violent expression of sexuality.

1:22:47 Adam Yeah, but it's...

1:22:47 Josh Cooke This is the most warped conversation I've ever heard.

1:22:50 Adam It's horrifying.

1:22:52 Drew I like it.

1:22:52 Josh Cooke No, I enjoy it, no, I mean, I've been thinking about this for years. I'm going to write about it in my diary.

1:22:57 Drew Please.

1:22:57 Adam Police.

1:22:58 Drew All right. And then.

1:23:01 Adam And then perform violence on your diary. Sometimes the violence can be so violent, the pages stick together. Josh Cooke here tonight, everyone, from Committed. Shame on you for laughing at this. Rape is not something you should make fun of. That's true. It's Pete Mobley. Tuesday nights, don't ever forget that. 9.30. Drew loves that by the way. 9.30. And Drew, what is the one? Oh, that's it.

1:23:28 Josh Cooke That's it right there.

1:23:29 Adam You know, but the joke you don't like, the reoccurring joke you don't like that I make is the rape joke. It's the one where this week on half.

1:23:36 Drew No, I don't like that one.

1:23:38 Caller He doesn't like it.

1:23:39 Adam He doesn't get it.

1:23:41 Drew Is it tasteless? I get it, but it's like, eh, it was okay the first time, but that's it. Somewhere in Evergreen.

1:23:46 Adam It's funnier the third time you're here.

1:23:49 In order to reach these kids, Hack will have to become a rapist.

1:23:55 Adam Yeah, see, now, Drew, shut your mic off. Just get lost. Go to the bathroom. Let me just tell Josh how the joke goes.

1:24:01 Caller It's this week on Hack.

1:24:06 Adam Yeah, it's Will Arnett.

1:24:06 Josh Cooke Will Arnett is awesome. He's a great guy.

1:24:09 Adam All right, enough. You got the ace man, Freddie. Let's not worry about Will.

1:24:13 Caller This week on Hack, in order to catch a counterfeiter, Hack is going to have to become a rapist. Everything ends with rape.

1:24:23 Adam It doesn't make you a national terrorist. Ends with rape. Everything ends with rape. This is a twist, because usually, your mind is already thinking he has to become a counterfeiter, too. But no, that's the twist. A rapist.

1:24:36 Josh Cooke You can substitute it with, he's going to have to be violent and come at the end. Right. And that would work just as well.

1:24:41 Adam That would work well, too.

1:24:42 Josh Cooke It's rewarding.

1:24:42 Drew I shouldn't be an avatar.

1:24:43 Adam But Drew doesn't think that's funny.

1:24:45 Drew Not with the same evergreen vitality that the other one does.

1:24:50 Josh Cooke That's a really pretty way of putting it.

1:24:51 Caller All right.

1:24:52 Adam We'll take... How about a twist?

1:24:57 Drew Which one?

1:24:57 Adam How about a twist?

1:24:58 Drew It becomes a violent criminal.

1:25:02 Adam In order for Hack to infiltrate an International Jewel thievery ring, he's going to have to go undercover as a rapist.

1:25:12 Drew A little clearer for me.

1:25:13 All right. Undercover as a rapist. A rapist.

1:25:16 Drew Let's go will on that imitation. Well, he gets a lot of money doing that.

1:25:20 Adam We'll take a... Not after that, actually.

1:25:23 Drew Not after this. He got fired by Josh.

1:25:27 Adam We'll take a quick break. Josh Cooke here tonight. We'll be right back after this. Loveline. Josh Cooke here tonight from Committed, and soon to be seen on Hack 930 NBC Tuesday Nights. All right. Let's go now. Let's go. Come on.

1:25:55 Drew Let's break it down. Come on, Adam. Come on.

1:25:57 Adam Let's help the kids. Can we help the kids?

1:25:59 Okay. I'll clap. Yeah.

1:26:00 Adam Let's just break it down and help some kids. You mind, Drew? You want to talk more about colleges? Come on. Christina?

1:26:06 Yeah.

1:26:06 Adam You're 18?

1:26:07 Caller Yes.

1:26:08 Adam What's up?

1:26:09 Caller Well, I have no sex drive. I can't get horny. I... There's no... Nothing can get me horny or anything.

1:26:16 Adam Well, we're going to part ways then. I got nothing to talk to her about.

1:26:21 Drew Well, let me talk. I might be able to speak with her. I know you're that one.

1:26:23 Adam I'm washing my hands.

1:26:24 Drew Okay. Christina?

1:26:25 Caller Yeah?

1:26:26 Drew Have you previously had a decent sex drive?

1:26:29 Caller No. I've been sexually abused, physically abused, emotionally abused, and abused just horribly bad when I was younger, and now I'm on a Depo shot, and I'm also on Ritalin, well, Buterin, Clonopin, Cignu... Clonopin.

1:26:43 Caller Yeah?

1:26:45 Caller Keep going...

1:26:46 Caller .Respidol, and Lithium.

1:26:49 Josh Cooke Could it maybe be the medication?

1:26:50 Drew The Depo-Provera, Depo-Provera can shut you down.

1:26:53 Adam And next time, tell us what you're not taking, we'll get through it faster.

1:26:55 Drew Well, she's actually had a bunch of medicines that don't tend to decrease the sex drive.

1:26:59 Caller Because I'm severely bipolar.

1:27:00 Adam But Clonopin is pretty heavy stuff, right?

1:27:02 Drew Clonopin is a, you know, is a valium-like drug, and that can shut you down a little bit, the Resperidol can shut you down. So there's a couple of medicines that are working against you, but you're saying you've never had a sex drive.

1:27:11 Caller And I never, I was like, when I was like, before I was taking this medication, it's like I could get a little horny here, I could get a little horny there, but it's like I've never orgasmed, and it's like I-

1:27:21 Drew It's like the David Albrecht song.

1:27:23 Caller Never at all, at all.

1:27:25 Adam Yeah. Well, well, here's the thing. First off, at 18, a lot of girls-

1:27:31 Drew A lot of girls don't have a drive.

1:27:32 Adam Haven't found themselves.

1:27:33 Drew That's right, they don't have a sex drive.

1:27:35 Adam But then ones that have been horribly abused, like you've been abused, all bets are off.

1:27:39 Drew Right, you can either have complete shutdown like you're having, or go into periods where you feel hypersexual, or fluctuate back and forth between those two extremes.

1:27:47 Caller It's like me, I have no sex drive, and my younger sister who's also been abused the same way, she's a sex freak. I mean, she's had 30, 40 different partners in 2016.

1:27:55 Drew Count your blessings, Christina. You've gone the right direction.

1:27:58 Adam It really is. That's sad. It may, and by the way, is your dad a deader in jail, hopefully?

1:28:04 Caller My birth father, we had to go away before he was born because he was on heroin. My real, and then my dad, who was raising us, who used to beat me and doesn't want to have anything to do with me because I'm not his real dad. And I have a stepdad who yells at me a lot and wants to me out of the house.

1:28:19 Adam When did the sexual abuse start?

1:28:22 Caller My other stepdad, he would sexually molest me.

1:28:26 Drew How many stepdads have you had?

1:28:27 Josh Cooke What's up with your mom?

1:28:29 Caller She's been molesting me three times. But she's also been with two other guys that she wasn't married with.

1:28:35 Adam All right, so your mom was...

1:28:36 Josh Cooke Mom needs to calm down.

1:28:37 Caller My older sister used to beat me up where I'd have to go to the hospital.

1:28:41 Drew Josh, here's the really disturbing part of all this. If we were to talk to Christina's mom, she'd be telling us what a great mom she is and how dedicated...

1:28:48 Josh Cooke I believe it, too.

1:28:49 Drew The kids... Well, dad was a hair maker, the kids never knew it.

1:28:52 Adam No, no, you know what they do? They hide behind love.

1:28:56 Caller They're like, I love my child.

1:28:57 Adam Yeah, I'm sure you do, but still you're letting a lot of horrible things happen to him. Well, your mom was probably abused.

1:29:04 Drew Herself, no doubt.

1:29:05 Caller Actually, she wasn't. She was raised on a farm.

1:29:10 Adam Abuse farm, right, Drew?

1:29:11 Drew Abuse farm.

1:29:12 Caller But the earliest time, the closest thing that you can connect that she was abused is she got married when she was 18, and then she found out the guy was cheating on her. That's the closest thing to abuse.

1:29:22 Drew No, so grew more out of his abuse farm.

1:29:26 Adam Yeah, see Drew.

1:29:26 Drew I was looking for the David on Greer song, Anderson.

1:29:28 Caller Okay, cult farm, only abuse farm.

1:29:30 Adam Hey, Christina, now listen, I'm serious. I don't want to bum your high, and I know it's weird when you start thinking about your mom this way, but she wouldn't have hooked up with these guys if somebody-

1:29:42 Drew If grandpa weren't an alcohol, I can abuse her.

1:29:44 Caller So, when her first, like actually, after she got married and she broke up with him because he cheated on her, she got this guy named Black Mike and raped her and had a child. And she had to get that child up.

1:29:53 Adam Who would see that coming? Black Mike?

1:29:56 Josh Cooke Wait, what happened? Someone named Black-

1:29:58 Drew What happened? I don't want to hear anymore. I've heard enough.

1:30:00 Josh Cooke Black Mike?

1:30:01 Caller And he's a doctor and he said that he was going to keep the child. He's going to kill- He tried to kill all of us. Me and my older sister.

1:30:08 Josh Cooke Black Mike's a sweet, engineering name, though.

1:30:12 Caller I think my mom's bipolar because-

1:30:13 Drew Yeah, it sounds like it.

1:30:14 Caller My older sister, my younger sister, and me-

1:30:16 Adam All right, hold on a second.

1:30:18 Drew That's a bipolar. Bipolar abuse.

1:30:20 Adam All right. And by the way, who knows what's going on versus what's going on? I'm sure it's all bad.

1:30:27 Caller Who knows about Black Mike?

1:30:28 Adam My mom dated a guy named Mexican Ron for a while. He was-

1:30:32 Josh Cooke But he had brothers named Mexican Rico, Mexican Roger, Mexican-

1:30:35 Adam Hi. There was no picnic. Let me tell you, no picnic, Drew. But nothing like this. No, no. Obviously, I can't compare Mexican Ron to Black Mike. Hey, Christina? All right. Here's the thing. You need therapy?

1:30:49 Caller Well, the thing is that I've been in every single type of therapy and it hasn't been working. And when I say every single type of therapy, I've been to, like- Okay, quiet.

1:30:56 Adam We don't need to hear them all. Here's the point.

1:30:59 Drew But you're on medicine. You sound relatively stable right now. Just stay with it. Stick with it.

1:31:03 Adam Now, you having no sex drive-

1:31:06 Drew It's a God blessing you.

1:31:07 Adam You and society has dodged a huge bullet, unlike your daughter, whose five kids were going to be taken care of in just a few short years.

1:31:14 Drew Your sister.

1:31:15 Adam I'm sorry, your sister. Yeah. You have avoided this, and so have we, and that's fantastic. You need to work on getting yourself straight and take your meds, do therapy, all that stuff, get a job, get out of the house.

1:31:28 Drew Get out of- Keep it simple. Keep it simple, Christina.

1:31:31 Adam Right. And the fact that you're not with guys, you don't realize how good that is, especially when you look back on it.

1:31:37 Drew You know, watching American Idol reminds me how messed up people are in this country. All the people with no insight, no self-concept, and impaired judgments. And we laugh at this?

1:31:48 Josh Cooke What about the people watching it, to a certain extent, though? You know, loving to see humiliation. That's society. It likes to see people be embarrassed, you know?

1:31:56 Caller I've heard this as well, though.

1:31:57 Caller Just like a little plop here, a little skeet there, skeet skeet skeet skeet everywhere, everybody, everybody skeet skeet. That's how you do your threesome to me.

1:32:07 Adam David Ongre. David Ongre on the new American Idol. Let me just say this. Can we please, ladies and gentlemen, can we please stop watching this show? The idea, the idea that there are people around this country, they're delusional and can't sing, is that entertaining? And I hate to say it, but, you know, Randy Jackson, here's what happens, Randy Jackson's like, Doug, I wasn't feeling it. And then, Paula, go back and listen to some Paula Abdul music. Talk about not holding up. I got, I got egg salad that's in better shape than those songs from 1986. That stuff sucked. That stuff was brutally bad. But thank God I had the sense that Simon comes off like, like some sort of genius. He's like Orson Bean in between these two people because they're two dollards. I hate to say it, but they're two simpletons. He's sandwich in between. And him saying, keep your day job, makes everyone fall to the ground and kiss it. Like, oh my God, what a genius. He's not saying anything. He's been to it between two idiots. I know, I know, look, no less. Randy's a great music producer, I'm sure.

1:33:14 Drew And a good guy.

1:33:15 Adam And a good guy, but that does not make him smart and does not make him interesting and does not make him clever and does not make him funny. He's a good guy, we have him on the show, we like him, but you would seem like Mort Sahl if you sat next to him on an airplane. And Paul Abdul, the same thing, come on, what are they doing? And you got a guy who can't sing and he's fat and he's stupid and he's delusional. And by the way, I think they're putting everyone on. I believe three quarters of the people on there are just screwing with people now going out there doing their thing. Is this interesting? They're sitting in a folding table telling people they have no talent, who have no talent? Let's watch something else like Crank Anchor. Nine o'clock, Wednesday night. Here we go, here we go. All right, take a quick break, be right back.

1:33:55 Caller Crank Anchor.

1:34:33 Adam Loveline. You want to kiss a little Randy Jackson? Ask for a second.

1:34:36 Caller Thank you.

1:34:37 Adam I don't want to... We like Randy Jackson. A lot. As a person.

1:34:40 Caller Yeah.

1:34:40 Adam Yes. I'm saying, not a funny guy. And if you sat between him and Paul Abdul, you would come across as possibly more clever than you would if you sat between Rowan and Martin.

1:34:50 Drew Okay.

1:34:51 Adam Thank you.

1:34:51 Drew Thank you.

1:34:51 Adam All right. So, we'll get back on the show now.

1:34:54 Josh Cooke We have no idea how much tension was just relieved.

1:34:56 Adam Josh Cooke, everybody, from Committed, 9.30 on NBC. Tuesday nights. Josh, you're cool. We'll have you back.

1:35:05 Josh Cooke Thanks.

1:35:06 Adam All right. Keep on keepin on and don't forget about us now.

1:35:09 Josh Cooke Oh yeah. Well, you know, we'll have the discussion. We'll have to go on some huge Coke binge and then, you know, be called out.

1:35:14 Drew After your intimate encounter tonight.

1:35:15 Adam After the scramble, I'll talk to you about that.

1:35:17 Josh Cooke I'll be outside the radio. It's banging in the end. I don't like it.

1:35:20 Adam Violent, though. We'll take a quick 22-hour break.

1:35:24 Caller And until next time, I'm Adam Crowley for Dr. Drew,

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Wednesday, January 19, 2005