Episode 1000675211669

8:33 Voiceover Hey, buddy, it's the Love Line. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, board certified physician. Diction, Diction Medicine Specialists, and tonight we welcome to the show actor, thespian man about town, he is a raconteur, he's a great lover, Adam Scott from The Aviator.

8:55 Adam Scott Well, thank you, thank you so much, Dr. Drew, Adam, I'm a huge fan.

8:59 Adam Really?

9:00 Adam Scott Huge fan. Really?

9:01 Drew An actor.

9:03 Adam Scott No, I really am. I asked if I could be on the show. I love this show.

9:08 Adam We were, thank you for-

9:09 It's a damn lie and you know it.

9:10 Adam Thank you very much.

9:11 Adam Scott That is true.

9:13 Adam Adam and I were sitting next to each other on Kimmel a couple weeks back, guess on the same night, and got to have a little of his stink rub off on me. Adam is also the fiance or husband.

9:27 Adam Scott Fiance.

9:28 Adam Fiance of a dear, dear friend of ours who's, it's a chick. I know it's confusing when you look at him. Beautiful woman who has worked with, Naomi's worked with us over at the Man Show and then Crank Yankers, and now Jimmy Kimmel Live. Adam, I was watching, by the way, we'll get in the aviator in a second, I was watching Adam on Torque tonight because Drew doesn't know what Torque is.

9:50 Adam Scott It's something else, isn't it?

9:52 Adam Yeah. It's a motorcycle movie.

9:54 Adam Scott Oh, wow.

9:54 Adam Ice Cube. A lot of attitude floating around that place. A lot of leather, a lot of attitude. A lot of guys doing like wheel stands on bikes and stuff. But yeah, he's an FBI agent. It's actually good and the movie's got a little tongue in cheeky. It's all over cable right now.

10:11 Drew It wasn't meant to be tongue in cheeky, but you know, it's got a little.

10:14 Adam Scott It actually was. I actually think that it has some funny moments in that movie. And we all have our fingers crossed it's Oscar time coming up. I think Torque is going to rack up the nomination.

10:27 Adam Yeah.

10:28 Drew Push out Aviator.

10:29 Adam Team targeted motorcycle, you know, rice rocket movies don't normally pull down as much as they should. But I got at least original screenplay.

10:38 Adam Scott Absolutely.

10:39 Adam At least. And if not, cinematography. And what about the outfits?

10:43 Drew Best song.

10:43 Adam Lot of Canary Yellow leathers with initials written across a guy's ass.

10:48 Adam Scott Well, best leather is a new category.

10:51 Adam Oh, new category.

10:52 Drew I got that word.

10:53 Adam Hands down, unless a toboggan movie comes out.

10:55 Adam Scott Exactly. Well, Toboggan's RS is.

10:59 Adam Oh, my goodness.

11:00 Adam Scott No.

11:00 Adam Well, we'll keep our fingers crossed. Anyway, I was watching Adam on Torque tonight. Saw Adam in Aviator, plays Howard Hughes' publicist and has a standout role in the movie. You saw the movie? I love the movie.

11:14 Adam Scott Thanks, guys.

11:15 Drew Yeah, it's a great film.

11:16 Adam Drew, you're supposed to say, yeah, me too.

11:17 Drew No, I'm saying, yes, of course.

11:20 Adam And didn't the Aviator just win Golden Globe?

11:22 Adam Scott It won three Golden Globes a couple of nights ago.

11:25 Adam Good. Best leathers or?

11:26 Adam Scott Best leathers and best initials across the ass.

11:29 Adam That's the way they do it, Drew. They put the name on the ass in Motorcycle Ryan. They don't do it along the top, like in football or baseball. They do it along the ass.

11:37 Drew That's nice.

11:37 Adam Exactly. Yeah. And you know what? I love the Aviator, by the way. And you know what? Saw Million Dollar Baby. No, not as good as everyone's talking about. Aviator, better film. That's for my, that's for my.

11:49 Drew You're spectacular film.

11:51 Adam Yeah.

11:51 Drew I think about all the stuff.

11:52 Adam I mean, no, I agree. And I think sometimes like, I think sometimes spectacular films don't get the, they're due like for my, for my dollar. You know, what's wrong with T2 being best film of the year? You know, it's got a great story. It's got solid acting. And then it's got incredible effects. Right. That's part of the movie. That, that cost 50 million dollars to do. And it took a room of nerds, you know, six months solid, you know, drinking Red Bull and not leaving unless they're doing a 70 hour week. Why isn't that factored in? Is that, we're so good that we can't appreciate, I mean, is that artistry?

12:28 Drew Right.

12:28 Adam Scott I've always thought that it's a shame that in 1981, Raiders of the Lost Ark did not win best picture. I think that's one of the best movies of all time.

12:36 Drew It's true. There was Breakthrough, right? Yeah, absolutely. There's a lot of good movies after that.

12:39 Adam Why do we have to be snobs about it?

12:41 Drew I mean, you guys.

12:42 Adam And making, to me, looking like there's a 70-ton boulder rolling down a concrete canyon chasing Harrison Ford and him just sliding under something, that takes skill.

12:56 Adam Scott Absolutely.

12:57 Adam There's storyboards. Somebody has to design it. Some guy's got to make a fake boulder. Why isn't that part of a movie? It's best movie, not best words. Yes, thank you.

13:08 Adam Scott Absolutely.

13:08 Drew In preparation for this film, did you read about Hughes or anything?

13:11 Adam Scott I did. There are several biographies. I read four biographies on Hughes.

13:15 Drew The thing that I'm really surprised at is how sort of openly people discussing his drug addiction and how sort of covert it was in most of his biographical stuff is stuff I've read. And you really look at his story and it's just a story of a profound stimulant addict. He died a cocaine addict.

13:31 Adam Scott Absolutely.

13:31 Drew And I think that episode in the end, we locked himself in the theater. Yeah. It was an amphetamine psychosis.

13:36 Adam Scott Yeah.

13:37 Drew The people who was bipolar just get the frame. And no, no, he's a drug addict.

13:39 Adam Really?

13:39 Drew He's a plain old drug addict.

13:40 Adam I thought he was on Painkiller.

13:41 Drew So that was part of it, but really the through line of stimulants, I think it really looks like it. I think it's the paranoias and the bugs and all that. It's all stimulant.

13:50 Adam Scott And also something that I read in a couple of biographies was that he had several plane crashes, and people think he had some really severe concussions that went untreated because he was phobic of doctors and hospitals and seizure disorders.

14:06 Adam Yeah. And I don't even really know what you do to treat severe concussions.

14:10 Drew By the way, in those days, they would go, Oh, you're flying around the world. Take these uppers. They'll help you stay awake.

14:15 Adam Coke wasn't such a bad thing. Can't we get back to that day where there's no stigma around Coke?

14:20 Drew Not stigma. They came in soft drinks. There's something called Van Mariani, which is high-dose cocaine.

14:26 Adam Came in Mr. Pib.

14:27 Drew Mr. Pib, Coca-Cola.

14:28 Adam Scott Was it Mr. Pib?

14:29 Adam No, I was just...

14:30 Drew Was it Coca-Cola? Yeah.

14:32 Adam Scott Well, it's in Red Bull now, isn't it?

14:34 Drew No, I don't think there's cocaine in there. We just feel like there's cocaine in there.

14:36 Adam Yeah, but if you rub a little on your dork, you'll go all night by then. Drew, remember that? Remember that? Remember?

14:43 Drew Yeah, yeah. I remember now, Adam.

14:44 Adam I think we're doing it on How to Stay, right?

14:47 Drew You and I?

14:48 Yeah, Red Eye?

14:49 Adam Yeah.

14:49 Drew That's why you...

14:50 Adam Oh, okay. That's right. Little Brown Eye before the Red Eye. All right. On your dork.

14:56 On your dork.

14:58 Adam Little Red Bull on the dork.

15:00 Drew All the color illusions here. His head was spinning.

15:02 Adam I'm telling you.

15:03 Drew Red Bull, the Brown Eye before the Red Eye.

15:05 Adam I think we could start that. For a while, about eight years ago, that was Eden Altoid and Go Down on The Dude or whatever. Eight years ago? Well, let's call it five years ago. Red Bull. It was a Tic Tac eight years ago. But here's my point. I think I could start the Dipp It in Red Bull.

15:24 Drew Dipp It in Red Bull or, yeah.

15:26 Adam Yeah? All right. Let's work on that.

15:28 Drew Let's do it.

15:29 Adam Adam Scott here. Oh, got a few new movies coming out. Monster in Law with Jennifer Lopez. When does that hit the theaters?

15:35 Adam Scott That's May 6th on Mother's Day, I believe.

15:38 Adam And then The Matador with Pierce Brosnan. How does that work? When's that coming out?

15:44 Adam Scott That's showing, I believe, this weekend in Sundance.

15:48 Adam Oh, really?

15:48 Adam Scott Yeah.

15:49 Adam It's exciting.

15:49 Adam Scott It's supposed to be a great movie. I'm not going to be able to go. But I hear it's great. I haven't seen it yet.

15:54 Adam And you know when it'll come out or does it depend on how it does at Sundance?

15:58 Adam Scott I think it depends on what happens at Sundance and who picks it up and all of that.

16:02 Drew All right.

16:02 Adam You ready to go here, Drew?

16:04 Adam Scott Yes.

16:04 Drew I'm just freaking out. That was a year ago. I was up there at Sundance. I can't believe it's been that long.

16:08 Adam Drew, you know, because you're up there for New York Minute.

16:12 Drew No, no, no, no.

16:13 Adam Please no.

16:14 Drew No, no, no. I was just skiing up there.

16:16 Adam Drew, oh, you were out there skiing while the festival was going on. I saw a Cisco Roper and Ebert and New York Minute made the top 10 worst of the year. Drew played the father of New York Minute.

16:32 Drew I want to be the worst of the worst, though, if you're really going to eat.

16:34 Adam Sorry, buddy, you're not good enough to be that bad. You're like top five, top six.

16:39 Adam Scott I actually was watching, Naomi and I were watching it and were disappointed that Torque didn't make it, and Torque made the Rolling Stone one. It was actually a real, like, I think it's very rare.

16:49 Drew How dare you, Adam? How dare you?

16:51 Adam You're talking a guy's got minus four stars twice in the New York Post. Minus four. I argue, by the way, minus, you know what I mean? You can't, we gotta do this. We have to, first off, there's five-star hotels, but movies only go to four stars. We gotta work out the star thing. We gotta work out the number thing. And I would argue that there's no such thing as negative stars.

17:12 Drew Whatever it is, it is, you can't start making, why not put 30 stars for an extra good film? It's four.

17:18 Adam Scott There has to be a limit.

17:20 Drew Right, yeah. It was a convention.

17:21 Adam If something is horrible, give it a zero. But you can't be minus four.

17:25 Adam Scott No, no, no, that's just mean.

17:26 Adam I realize I owe, actually, I have a minus three and a minus four stars, which I owe seven stars now. So if I did a four-star project, I'd still be three in the hole. But still, better to be in something that's minus four stars than something that gets a star and a half.

17:41 Drew Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I want to be the worst of the worst.

17:43 Adam Well, you're pretty bad.

17:45 Drew I'm trying to really extinguish myself as the worst.

17:47 Adam Don't kick yourself, buddy, you suck. Okay, come on, buddy, hold your head down.

17:51 Drew That's good. What films were you in this year? Oh, wait a minute.

17:55 Adam Drew, you did a snuff film. Should you be bragging about that?

17:59 Drew I'm not bragging.

18:00 Adam There you go. I could have been in a movie.

18:01 Adam Scott Is New York Men in a Snuff Film?

18:03 Adam Yes.

18:03 Adam Scott I can't believe I didn't see it.

18:04 Adam No, there was the Olsen Triplets before. Oh, man.

18:08 Adam Scott Oh, yes.

18:08 Adam Drew killed one in Vancouver. Stephen?

18:12 Yes.

18:13 Adam You're 26?

18:14 Caller I am, yes.

18:15 Adam What's up?

18:17 Caller I wanted to find out. I'm planning on asking my girlfriend to marry me and then getting married in about a year or so.

18:24 Adam I think you mean acting.

18:26 Caller So that's it too. But what I wanted to find out is I've had this fantasy for pretty much all my life of having sex with an East Indian woman. And I wanted to know if you guys do any of the very clean, very sanitized, very straightforward brothels in Nevada that I could go to.

18:45 Drew Well, we keep a cataloged list of them.

18:48 Adam Yeah, there's the Nehru Ranch, the Smelly New Deli, the Safari, there's tons of them, all catering to the...

18:58 Adam Scott The Smelly New Deli is actually quite nice.

19:01 Caller You've been?

19:02 Adam Scott Yeah, yeah, it's very nice.

19:03 Caller I've heard it's by Marriott and it's legal.

19:05 Adam Yeah, they got a bottomless salad bowl over there. They got a bar over there.

19:09 Adam Scott It's delicious.

19:10 Adam What is he talking about? First off, you're stretching it to find the Eastern Indian broads in there, you know what I mean?

19:17 Drew It's weird.

19:18 Adam Right?

19:18 Drew Yeah.

19:19 Adam What do you find? You can find white chicks.

19:21 Drew I would think.

19:22 Adam You got the black chicks, Latino chicks. Great, right? You can get them at a discount, usually. You gotta have a club car. I get my thing punched. I buy Mexican and bulk through. But I pass along. Steven? Jump back? Jump back of Mexican women. Steven?

19:41 Caller Yes?

19:42 Adam Why Eastern Indian?

19:44 Caller I don't know. I guess to say why blondes and brunettes and sort of the same thing.

19:48 Drew If you're attracted to that kind of woman, why aren't you dating that kind of woman?

19:52 Caller You can't help who you're falling in love with.

19:54 Adam Scott What's that?

19:55 Caller You can't help who you're falling in love with. The woman I'm with is the one I knew I'm going to marry, and that's the view I'm seeing.

20:01 Adam Scott What does this have to do with you getting married?

20:02 Adam It's so romantic. It's so old-fashioned. It's so refreshing to find a romantic, old-fashioned guy who wants to bang an Indian shit before he gets married.

20:09 Adam Scott Is there any Kleenex in here? I'm getting choked up.

20:12 Adam It's pretty emotional.

20:13 Adam Scott Really sweet.

20:14 Adam Yeah. Steven?

20:16 Yeah.

20:17 Adam I don't know that you can find, I don't think you can find an Eastern Indian person in Nevada, within the borders of Nevada.

20:25 That's amazing.

20:26 Adam Scott I'm sure there are pockets.

20:28 Adam They're pockets, but it's like at the ER or something. You got to go to the hospital. You're not going to find them working in the ranch.

20:34 Drew The prostitutes, no.

20:35 Adam Yeah. They don't swing that way.

20:38 Caller But where are they like the-

20:41 Drew Steven, we don't know.

20:42 Adam Scott You know where they are? They're in East India.

20:44 Drew Yeah.

20:45 Caller That's probably what I need to do.

20:46 Adam I don't know where they are out here. I'm not so sure that they want to hang out with guys who pronounce ask, ask, ask. I think that's one of the criteria. I think they actually have that like laminated on a wristband and it's one of the things they look for. It's one of the things they don't want to date a guy with. Yeah.

21:06 Drew All right. Was he serious? I don't know.

21:08 Adam Scott But he wants to do it before he gets married. I think that's the point. That's the key. Just go on the Internet. I'm sure there's East Indian.

21:15 Drew Wear a condom, whatever you do. Rethink this marriage, think carefully about it.

21:19 Adam I'm trying to think of the pros and cons. They do have that long hair, that big rope, big anchor rope braid, you know? That's kind of nice. You got that part. Nice size.

21:29 Adam Scott And they have the sarong, which is lovely.

21:32 Adam They don't have the dot unless they get married, right? I think the dot's for marriage.

21:38 Adam Scott I didn't know that.

21:38 Adam I think it is. Engineer Chris.

21:41 Drew Look that up on the Internet.

21:43 Adam To the Batcave.

21:45 Drew Okay.

21:45 Adam Okay, look that up. And I think the dot's the marriage. That's cool. Other than that, I don't think they don't have a lot of weird body hair. Not big cans. Modest-breasted women.

21:54 Adam Scott Some of them.

21:55 Caller Yeah.

21:57 Adam Yeah, I never see it. And you don't see them in Playboy or anything, really, do you?

22:01 Drew Did you see Bend It Like Beckham?

22:03 Adam Yeah. I saw bits and pieces of it. That's a good-looking woman, right?

22:06 Adam Scott Her sister is beautiful in that as well.

22:08 Adam Yeah. Yeah, they have all the makings, the dark skin.

22:11 Drew But they also have very together families, very tight families, and they're not the prostitution, the history there.

22:17 Adam Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be tough to pry one away.

22:19 Adam Scott There's probably not the trauma stuff.

22:22 Adam Yeah, they don't get traumatized enough.

22:23 Drew They take care of each other, they make kids become professional.

22:26 Adam Yeah, the dads aren't beating the crap out of them all the time, burn them with cigarettes and stuff. We got to get them to start doing that so we can start filling the brothels.

22:33 Drew Okay.

22:33 Adam All right, I'm going to make a pilgrimage to India to see if I can get them to start abusing their kids so we can start getting more Indian porn churned out, more strip clubs and things like that. Well, you know how it goes.

22:42 Adam Scott You can probably get UNICEF to help you out with that.

22:44 Drew Oh, that's nice.

22:44 Adam Scott I sponsor you to go over there.

22:46 Adam Get Richard Gere to cut a PSA for me.

22:48 Drew Sally Struthers has got the glasses.

22:50 Caller His sleeves rolled out.

22:52 Very serious mode.

22:53 Drew Lauren 19.

22:54 Yeah.

22:55 Drew Hey, what's up?

22:55 Adam What's going on?

22:56 Okay.

22:58 Adam Oh, and let me just say this. I was thinking about Richard Gere is in the news wanting something. I don't know what he wants. I've just decided I've had a total asshole of Richard Gere and Bono. These are the two guys I've had an asshole of. And then I decided we got to get these guys a country to ruin. Like, please, I've had such an asshole of these two with what's going on and what we need to do and what we're not doing. It's like we're doing too much of this, we're not doing... Who are you guys? Mr. Blackwell of the goddamn country? Shut your pie holes. Why don't you get your... By the way, where are you living? Go to your beloved wherever you're from and just stay there. And just go. We'll get you a country to experiment on. You know what it is? It's like we got a 15-year-old who likes to wrench. We got to get him a junker car and throw it out in the yard just to let him go at it. Otherwise, he's going to start running with a gang.

23:43 Drew That's a great idea.

23:44 Adam And a monkey with our car. So he doesn't monkey with our car. Let's give him something just to wrench on, a tractor or something.

23:48 Adam Scott So you're saying give them an actual piece of land.

23:51 Drew An existing country.

23:52 Adam We'll give them like Bikini Island or something. Something small. Something to get started on. And they can just go over there and complain until they're blue in the face. Have like a benefit concert. You know, gear can do a poetry reading. Whatever it is, just go do it and leave us alone. And I swear to God, Drew, one day soon, mark my words, I'm going to pick a pop singer. And so where's Bono from? Ireland? Scotland? Ireland. I'm going to get Bob Seeger to go to Ireland and start making policy and see how Bono likes it. He's going to start waving his arms around going, what's wrong? I don't like this. This has got to go. This is it. This injustice. And stuff like that. And see how Bono likes some blowhard from America going to his crappy country and saying what's wrong with it.

24:37 Adam Scott That would be awesome. What kind of laws would Bob Seeger come up with? Like everyone has to drink Miller Highlight?

24:42 Adam Coors Light? Silver Bullet? Yeah. He sings. He sings.

24:46 Adam Scott Oh yeah. He's saying the theme just. And that's right.

24:48 Adam I think he does like a Chevy truck thing. He makes. Oh, you know what he wants? He wants smoking put back into bars. He wants the alcohol level raised in the beer.

24:58 Drew He started to be a national hero in Ireland.

25:00 Adam Well, I'm just saying I want Bob Seeger to go to Ireland and start mandating new policies. Yes. And critiquing every move.

25:07 Drew Yes.

25:07 Adam Scott Absolutely.

25:08 Drew They're making fun of how they can die. The Irish conduct themselves in the in the Parliament.

25:11 Adam Right. Yeah. And then.

25:12 Drew The right royal, sir.

25:14 Adam And then we'll see how Bono likes it. See how it feels. Shoes on the other foot now. Yes.

25:19 Adam Scott That's right.

25:20 Adam Lauren.

25:21 Yes.

25:22 Caller What a blow heart.

25:23 Drew What's going on?

25:24 Adam Go ahead.

25:25 Okay. After I have sex with my boyfriend, I have like severe cramping in my lower abdominal area. Like I break out in cold sweats. I mean, it is like, it's almost making me nauseous.

25:38 Drew Is this, does this happen every single time you have sex?

25:41 It's not every, like, that's the weird thing about it. It's not every time. It's either like a week before my period or like a week after. And it's just like, and it's consistent.

25:49 Drew And how long has this been going on for?

25:51 Probably a good six months.

25:54 And I, yeah.

25:55 Drew Have you been worked up for this?

25:57 Uh-huh.

25:57 Drew Have you been evaluated?

25:59 Yeah. I went to the gynecologist and she said that just to not have them penetrate so hard, but that's still not working. Like, and like the weird thing is I have a cyst on my right ovary and I don't know if that was something to do with it or what was going on.

26:13 Drew Is the pain on the right side?

26:14 It's like all over.

26:16 Drew Yeah. It sounds, it does not sound like it's a cyst, though the cyst can do that. A cyst can leak sometimes too, a little fluid, and that can cause sort of a peritoneal reaction, like a peritonitis, quite literally.

26:26 Adam What, is the belly hurts?

26:27 Drew Yeah, abdomen hurts. And it can be endometriosis. Do they check, really, probably the only way you're going to get an answer for this is if they do a laparoscopy. And where they look around there. And I'm not sure you want to go through all that. Are you on the birth control pill?

26:39 I'm on Depo, for Vera.

26:41 Drew Yeah. There's some, just as it came out just today, that they're suggesting.

26:45 Adam Saw it, saw it.

26:46 Drew They're suggesting that Depo shouldn't be used more than a few years because of a diminished bone density.

26:51 Adam Mm, yeah.

26:53 Adam Scott Is that a birth control pill?

26:54 Drew Yeah, it's a birth control shot. And you might want to go on a birth control pill that has some estrogen in it because that may shrink the cyst. It might, if you have endometriosis, might control that a little better than the progesterone. Just kind of talk to your gynecologist about that.

27:07 Adam Yeah. Chris, did you find what the dot means with the Eastern Indian woman?

27:11 Caller No, what is it? What is it called?

27:13 Drew Oh, yeah.

27:13 Oh, shock.

27:16 Caller It's called a Bindi, Chris.

27:18 Adam Okay. Bindi.

27:19 Drew Spelled?

27:20 Caller B-I-N-D-I.

27:21 Adam But wait a minute, do you need to know that to find that answer out?

27:24 Drew You have to figure something out.

27:25 Adam Come on, buddy. All right. All right. Think about Chris, when you put him on assignment, he's like some package that you think is in the mail, but it never got a stamp put on it. You're just sitting and waiting. Well, it should be. And you realize it's just never. It's not going anywhere.

27:38 Caller Hey, I dated a girl from India for a while.

27:41 Adam Scott Yeah, she was a Bindi.

27:42 Caller And it's no, she didn't have one. I want to date her if she did. But why? I mean, it means a third eye. Yeah, but does that mean they're part of the Hindu religion? But nothing to do with marriage.

27:54 Adam No, guys have nothing to do with marriage. Well, guys have to be. I don't know.

27:58 Caller The girls are like circular and the guys are usually like bigger. You've seen the guy likes like sitting in Indian style, meditating.

28:06 Adam Oh, you mean? Yeah. But those those are the size of a ripe sticker. I thought that was a ripe sticker. That's a that's not like the right sticker you put on.

28:14 Drew Bananas?

28:14 Adam No, it's not like a banana sticker. All right.

28:18 Drew All right. So the Bindi means she's devout Hindu. Is that right?

28:21 Adam That's a Hindu.

28:22 Drew Yeah.

28:22 Caller And it's supposed to be like the spiritual third eye.

28:24 Drew No, we get that.

28:25 Adam Let's see if she worked at the at the ranch and give you some name for.

28:29 Drew Yeah.

28:29 Adam You know what I'm saying?

28:30 Drew That's funny.

28:31 Adam You can hit her right in that spiritual card hole.

28:37 Adam Scott I thought the marriage idea was interesting, though.

28:40 Adam I you know what? I thought Jimmy told me that at some point. It sort of makes sense.

28:44 Drew I can't believe everything Kimmel tells you, can you?

28:46 Adam Well, Jimmy said. All right. Maybe somebody else told me, but it seemed it made sense.

28:52 Caller Maybe you're thinking of the lip ring for the Africans? Oh, you mean the plate? The bigger the lip plate, the more cattle the father gets of the husband. Nice.

29:02 Adam Yeah. It's amazing those people don't have a space program. It's shocking, isn't it? Yeah. We got a piece of three-quarter CDX ply stuffed in my bottom lip. How's the shuttle going? No, nothing. Got a porta potty with a skyrocket duct tape to it. That's all. Okay.

29:23 All right.

29:24 Adam How's nothing? All right.

29:27 Drew All right.

29:27 Adam Let's rock here. Chris, what do you know, buddy? Looking good?

29:30 Drew Bendy?

29:30 Adam Feeling good. Anderson. That's right.

29:34 Caller Thanks, Anderson. We got somebody calling in, talking to Brian right now, claiming that I'm all wrong. So, we'll see.

29:40 Adam Okay, good.

29:41 Caller Dave on five.

29:42 Adam Crystal? Dave on five? I'll ask you if we can get to the bottom of this. Dave?

29:47 Yes.

29:48 Adam Dave, what do you know about the dot in the Eastern Indian woman's head?

29:51 The dot is actually a cast mark. It shows their family status in society.

29:57 Drew Well, they're a different cast. Was it Brahman or something?

30:00 Yeah, it's a Brahman subclass.

30:04 Adam Scott But aren't they all red and circular?

30:08 The ones on the women indicating the Brahman subclass, I think they can be different colors, but yeah, they're mainly fairly small and circular. The ones you see on the guys that are the larger ones are indicating a different status for a different class.

30:21 Drew How old will they be before they get the red one, the women?

30:24 E, that I don't know.

30:25 Drew Does it have anything to do with marriage?

30:28 No, it doesn't have anything to do with marriage because you can see it on unmarried women as well.

30:31 Drew Okay.

30:32 Adam Well, here's what I understand.

30:33 Drew Is it even called a bindi?

30:36 I don't actually know if it's a bindi or not.

30:39 Adam If they all, and by the way, they paint that on, they stick it on, is it permanent? It's makeup. It's makeup. Alright, so here's then the question. If it shows a class, but three-quarters of the country has it, what good is that?

30:54 Caller Three-quarters of the country don't have it. Small class. The ones that we see, you know, it's the traditional, educated.

31:00 Drew Uh-huh. Come over here and I see professionals.

31:04 Adam I see.

31:04 Caller Professionals have it, but the majority don't.

31:07 Adam Scott What if you wear one and you're you're not qualified?

31:11 Drew What happens?

31:12 Caller Boy, I don't know.

31:14 Adam I gotta get, I could get one of those.

31:15 Caller Yeah, you know what, I think they'd figure it out if it wasn't you.

31:19 Drew You just keep shooting to the portal.

31:22 Adam I don't know what we have. I think, you know, what we have here, we have rims. Yeah, you know, we have big 22 inch rims. That's your sort of nobility. That's how people know you've arrived.

31:31 Drew That's also a portal to the underworld.

31:33 Adam Scott I'm going to start wearing a large chrome rim on my forehead tomorrow.

31:38 Adam Yeah. And make sure the thing keeps spinning.

31:40 Adam Scott Absolutely.

31:41 Adam Keep spinning. That's how you know. That's how you've arrived. When you drop six grand on a ridiculous rim for your car, it means you got extra cash. I mean, really, all these things are really about extra cash. If you think about it, like, we only have enough for top ramen. You're not a rich guy. But if you walk around the big gold nugget watch, it costs 30 grand and a Timex could have taken its place. It means you have extra money, right? Is that what all sort of boils down to? Yeah. Look at Adam. Baby G.

32:09 Adam Scott Got a Casio with a Velcro wristband.

32:12 Adam Yeah. You're just keeping it real.

32:14 Adam Scott Yeah.

32:15 Adam Adam Scott here tonight, by the way, from The Aviator. Just won the Golden Globe for Best Film. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

32:50 Adam Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, or Adam Scott is here tonight. One of the stars of The Aviator. Think it's gonna win best film this year.

33:06 Adam Scott I agree.

33:07 Adam It should.

33:08 Adam Scott Thank you.

33:09 Adam It was the best one I saw all year.

33:11 Adam Scott Thanks.

33:12 Adam Adam was fantastic in it, and also gonna be out coming soon with Jennifer Lopez in Monster in Law, and then possibly the Matador with Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear.

33:23 Drew The club that you guys filmed in, was that just a set or was there?

33:26 Adam Scott That was a set that Dante Freddie designed that and built it up in Montreal, the Coconut Grove.

33:33 Drew They're supposed to be in the Ambassador Hotel, is that what it is?

33:35 Caller Which is still there, but it was supposed to be there.

33:37 Drew I was wondering if they actually took that back home. It was an empty building.

33:40 Adam Scott I know. It's built to scale. It's exactly how big the room was. And the Grumman's Chinese Theater, we used the exterior of it. That was built in Montreal as well, to scale.

33:51 Adam It's crazy.

33:52 Drew Yeah. Did they actually have the fly-bys on the outside?

33:55 Adam Scott No, that was CGI later. But those crowds, thousands of people out there. That was all on a set somewhere. We were out in the parking lot of a studio lot up in Montreal. It was so strange because it was so to scale. I was standing there where the hand prints and footprints are at the Grumman's Chinese. It felt like I was actually there waiting to go see a movie because I've been there so many times to see movies. I was in Montreal. It was very strange.

34:21 Adam It's amazing how it's just cheaper to actually reconstruct the Alps than it is to actually use the Alps. That's something to do with lighting. But it really is like, you need to film in the New York sewer system. You need to just make a sewer system. You can't just go in. And it just seems like incredibly like really could there be anything that's more trouble than this? I guess they worked it out. And I really do hear the whole thing about doing anything in movies and even TV to a certain degree, lighting. No one has any idea how long it takes, how expensive it is, how much is involved with it. Even the stuff doesn't even look like it's lit. It takes all day to light. I know, Drew, I was a stand in on Judgment Night.

35:07 Adam Scott The Emilio Estevez movie?

35:08 Adam Yes.

35:09 Adam Scott Right on.

35:10 Adam Stand in in. One of the bad guys.

35:12 Adam Scott Dennis Leary.

35:13 Adam Yeah.

35:14 Adam Scott Steven Dorff.

35:15 Adam That's right.

35:15 Adam Scott Cuba Gooding.

35:16 Adam That's right. Never talked to any of them. Yeah, Everlast was in it.

35:20 Caller Well, I was blowing my boyfriend the other day and I just, you know.

35:24 Adam Yeah, that's Everlast. I must have, I don't know what he's saying. But all you know when you're-

35:29 Caller Well, I was blowing my boyfriend the other day.

35:31 Adam Oh, that's him, yeah. All you do is pray that your guy gets killed last and that they shoot an order. That's what you do as a stand-in. Easy money, Drew. Just sitting around.

35:42 Adam Scott Who's stand-in were you on that one?

35:44 Adam I stood in for a short, long-haired guy and looked nothing like, but the AD got me a gig, 110 bucks a day. Easy street, Drew. Not bad. Oh, man.

35:56 Adam Scott Not bad.

35:57 Adam Good money, good gig.

35:58 Adam Scott I was an extra in a Tia Carrere music video.

36:00 Oh, for real?

36:02 Adam I didn't know she sang.

36:03 Adam Scott It's a good gig.

36:03 Adam Yeah. Extra, stand-ins, good stuff, Drew. Very good. Let's get into that. With your education, you could probably get in.

36:10 Drew Make better money.

36:10 Adam I could do a job. Crystal?

36:13 Yeah.

36:14 Adam You're sorry for disturbing your anger. You're 17?

36:18 Caller Yeah.

36:19 Adam What did your dad do to you, first and foremost?

36:24 Well, my dad's not there. I mean, most of my childhood, he was gone in another state.

36:31 Drew When he was around, what was he like?

36:35 He was an asshole, an alcoholic.

36:39 Drew Yeah. Here's the thing, Crystal, we're not your dad.

36:42 Adam Yeah.

36:43 Drew But you're treating us like him for the moment you picked up the phone.

36:46 Adam Read what her problem is, what it says. Read the only thing it says on the screen.

36:50 Drew Boyfriend blames erectile problems on medication. Is that why? All right.

36:55 Adam The point is, is how do I know her dad?

36:56 Drew Well, she called the show, so her dad's abusive.

36:59 Adam She's angry.

37:00 Drew She made you feel that projective identification.

37:02 Adam She said one goddamn syllable.

37:05 Drew Before she spoke, you went, what did your dad do to you?

37:07 Adam She went, yeah, it's weird. Listen, everybody, understand, you give it off. Man, do you give it off.

37:16 Drew Somebody gave it to you and now you expect that from everybody.

37:19 Adam You radiate this anger. Now, not everyone has finally tuned a dish as we do, Drew. I've got to give ourselves a round.

37:25 Drew Thank you for including me in that. I thought you just consider yourself fine, too. Thank you.

37:28 Adam It's important for me to compliment myself every eight to 12 minutes on the show. But this chick is angry and the only way we knew it is from, like I said, about a syllable out of her. So, Crystal, what is your question? You got to work that anger stuff out, baby.

37:46 Well, I mean.

37:49 Caller Well, what?

37:50 The only time that my dad actually, I mean, he knows that he hasn't been a very good dad, but he won't admit it unless he's drunk.

37:58 Drew Yeah. Well, Crystal, you got to let go of your dad. Go ahead and become a separate person, learn to accept that he's a sick person. He's not what you expected him or needed from him. But if you continue to treat all males like they're him, it's going to be a very long life. So go ahead and ask your question.

38:13 Adam Yes.

38:15 Okay.

38:16 I was just wondering if anxiety medication could keep a guy from getting it up.

38:21 Drew What medication?

38:23 I'm not sure exactly. You just said anxiety medication. Well, no.

38:27 Drew Well, there's all kinds of anxiety medication.

38:29 Adam Well, what about it?

38:29 Yes.

38:30 Drew Well, people take serotonin reuptake inhibitors for anxiety, things like Paxil and even Prozac sometimes for anxiety. Yeah. Fexor. These all have been used for generalized anxiety disorder.

38:38 Adam Crystal? I need you to not have any kids for a while. Can you do that?

38:45 Yeah.

38:46 Adam See that? Crystal?

38:48 Yeah.

38:48 Adam What are you using for birth control?

38:51 TriNESA.

38:53 Adam TriNESA. Black nanny. Who is that?

38:56 Drew Birth control pill.

38:57 Adam What is that?

38:58 Yeah. It's in the form of a generic.

39:03 Drew Okay.

39:04 Adam Crystal, I don't trust this guy you're with.

39:07 Drew How old is he?

39:08 He's 19.

39:09 Adam All right. What's he do?

39:11 What does he do?

39:13 Adam Uh-oh. Bad sign. Yeah. Next, next, next red flag is, well, right now. Right now. Yeah. What's he doing right now?

39:20 Caller He works at a restaurant.

39:22 Adam Ah-ha!

39:23 Drew Same restaurant you work at?

39:25 Caller No.

39:26 Drew Okay. Okay. Here's the deal. There's a lot of medicines that can cause erectile dysfunction. A lot. Psychiatric medications are very, very commonly prone to do this. All right.

39:34 Adam Don't have any kids. Get some therapy. Quit trying to wake your dad up. He's a loser. He's it.

39:39 Drew Go to Al-Anon.

39:39 Adam Let him go.

39:40 Drew Adult children of alcoholics if you want. But yeah, you're going to have to let go of dad.

39:43 Adam Look, everybody. But here's the thing. Assess your parents. I know it's painful. But assess them and then cut them loose. Do not spend your life trying to change them. It's frustrating.

39:55 Drew Or more importantly, reach back into the traumatic past and make it right.

39:58 Adam Yeah.

39:59 Drew By reenacting the trauma all over again.

40:00 Adam Yeah. Their crap-filled legacy is you treating every single person you see as if it was your father.

40:07 Drew Right.

40:08 Adam And then abusing them and then recreating the abuse because of course you anger them and immediately start yelling at you. Crystal, by the way, is quickly replacing Cammie. This is the number one white trash name.

40:20 Drew By the way, I want to commend you for evolving a little bit.

40:23 Adam I'm going to move it around. Crystal, Cammie, Cammie.

40:26 Drew Yes, yes.

40:27 Adam Scott Cammie.

40:29 Drew Adam, you've now evolved from getting angry at these victims to immediately taking a deep breath and going, what did your dad do to you?

40:35 Adam Scott Yeah.

40:35 Drew It used to be that you'd launch into abuse first.

40:38 Adam Yeah. Then we'd bring you back. I always knew someone was angry because it made me angry, and they barely had to say anything. It's amazing. They do it and everything they do, that's what their cadence is. Everything's, it's that three Mississippi before every answer. It's that you have to ring them like a bar rag to get anything out of them.

40:57 Drew Then when you give them advice as well, what is it what you think?

41:00 Adam Yeah.

41:00 Drew Wait, you called for advice.

41:02 Adam Well, here's the thing about angry people. Angry people are sort of, it's like the proverbial tree falling in the forest. If there's no one around, are they really angry? Don't they need someone to piss off in order to exercise their anger?

41:14 Drew Yes.

41:15 Adam So they will actually call you and then be angry with you.

41:19 Drew For talking to them.

41:20 Adam Yeah.

41:20 Adam Scott Well, how old is Crystal?

41:21 Drew 17.

41:22 Adam And by the way, sounds like she's 30. She has time.

41:25 Adam Scott Turn it around.

41:25 Adam Yeah, everyone has time, no one wants to use it. That's it. She'll be the same at 34. She is at 17.

41:31 Drew Oh, I remember Spade Corolla.

41:33 Adam Scott When I was 17, I thought I didn't think anything was it. I thought I was as grown up as I could ever be, you know.

41:39 Adam Yeah. Oh yeah.

41:40 Adam Scott But she has plenty of time. I was, I was right. But I think Crystal's going to grow up even more.

41:45 Adam Yeah. No, I think she gets fatter, but I don't think emotionally she moves anywhere.

41:48 Drew We'll see.

41:49 Adam All right, Crystal, get some therapy, please. Work out these angers, these issues with your dad and leave your dad alone, an alcoholic idiot.

41:57 Drew Done, done, done.

41:58 Caller Yes.

41:59 Adam Tara?

42:00 Drew By the way, even if she has the heals, this relationship has the delightful relationship with dad, it's not going to change the past.

42:06 Adam No, not really.

42:07 Drew Because now it's a different Crystal and a different dad.

42:10 Adam It's like you making friends with the bear that mauled you years ago. You still got the scar tissue and you speak, you get a little crippled and you speak, you still remember the terror.

42:19 Caller Yeah, absolutely.

42:20 Adam Yeah. Now the bear is fine, it's pulling you around on a carpet. It's because your legs don't work.

42:24 Adam Scott Well, has a little hat on. Has a hat on his beard.

42:27 Adam Adam, no. No, it's not wearing a hat. What was that, bro? Do you know what that was?

42:33 Adam Scott No, the bear is with the hat.

42:35 Adam Now, we're trying to help people.

42:38 Drew I know. Let's go to the phones.

42:39 Adam Can we go to the phones?

42:40 Adam Scott I'm really sorry.

42:41 Adam What was that?

42:41 Drew I'm sorry.

42:42 Adam Scott I don't know what that was.

42:43 Adam Yeah, but I don't know what it was.

42:44 Adam Scott No, the bear with the hat and the circus.

42:46 Adam No, it's worse now.

42:47 Adam Scott Chris.

42:48 Adam No, it's getting worse.

42:49 Adam Scott Help me out.

42:49 Adam It's getting worse.

42:50 Drew Tara, 22.

42:51 Caller Drew, what was that? I don't know what that was.

42:54 Adam Scott You both looked at me like just crazy.

42:57 Drew Tara, 22.

42:58 Adam Would someone explain to me what that was?

43:00 Drew I get that nightly, dude.

43:03 Adam Tara? Tara? Oh, I'm always going to be wrong. You're 22. Right. All right. And from now on, anyone named Tara or Tara, I'm just going to call Who Cares. Who Cares? You're 22. You're on line three. What's up?

43:17 Caller Well, let's see.

43:19 I am totally not wanting to have sex with my husband ever. We've been married for three and a half years.

43:25 Adam Yeesh.

43:26 Drew Kids?

43:27 And, oh yeah, we've got three kids. So obviously we had sex at one point.

43:32 When was your last kid?

43:33 Four and a half months ago. And I have.

43:35 Drew So how long have you been shut down for?

43:39 Oh, every time that I'm not pregnant, I don't really want to have sex. I have a two and a half year old who's almost three, a one year old and a four and a half month old.

43:47 Adam What are they? What are their sexes?

43:49 Two boys and a girl. My little four month old is my girl.

43:52 Adam Oh. I was thinking it'd be cool if you had two girls and a boy. It could be that's little Tara and that's little Tara.

43:58 Never thought about that.

44:00 Adam Yeah. It'd be great to have three girls where you do the. What is the three?

44:07 Drew Andrea, Andrea, and Andrea.

44:11 Adam Drew, I got to get three girls. I mean one Andrea, one Andrea, and one Andrea. That'd be awesome, wouldn't it? Just piss off the world. Everyone's going to be, and they're constantly correcting. And here's what I tell them. Even if they get your name right, correct them. Andrea, if they call you Andrea, you go Andrea. And Andrea, if they call you Andrea, you say no, it's Andrea. It just pisses, everyone's just, and they walk through the whole life correcting everyone all the time, yeah?

44:38 Drew Perfect.

44:39 Adam That's going to be perfect. That's what I want.

44:41 Drew Who cares?

44:42 Caller Yeah, who cares?

44:44 Adam You got, why three kids, by the way? You're 22.

44:47 Caller Because birth control, I was on birth control with all three of them. And apparently the kind of birth control I was on wasn't working for me.

44:55 Adam Scott Guess not.

44:56 Drew Were you take, what birth control was it by the way?

44:57 Adam One might have wanted to adjust it after the first two children.

45:00 Caller After the first two, they did put me on a different one, and I got pregnant with it in two weeks.

45:05 Drew Were you taking antibiotics or something?

45:07 Caller No. I was having some lower pelvic pain. I went into the doctor and they said pelvic inflammatory. And my doctor said, oh, that's impossible. And then a couple of weeks later here I was pregnant. Wow.

45:21 Drew Well, now wait a minute, wait a minute. You're misleading some of the story out. So they said you had PID. Did they give you antibiotics?

45:27 Caller No, they wanted me. I'm on a military base. And so I went into the emergency room when I wasn't feeling good. And when I went back into the doctor, because you have to do a follow up, they want me to go back into the doctor the next day. They ran blood tests. They said, my doctor said, no, you don't have PID. I don't know what's going on.

45:47 Drew So you think you were pregnant already at that point?

45:49 Caller I do. I think if I was and looking at like my ovulation cycle, I was probably only a week or so pregnant.

45:57 Drew All right. Well, certainly pregnancy will shut women down. For the first year after pregnancy, there's a number of factors that go in here. There are profound hormonal changes, obviously, with pregnancy. They can persist for up to a year. There are mood disturbances associated with pregnancy that can be quite serious and interfere with libido and sex drive. And then the stress of being a mom and having three kids is enough to drive anybody away. And God knows what's going on in your relationship. You have no time to attend to that.

46:23 Adam I'm going to have to get a nanny for little Andrea, Andrea and Andrea.

46:26 Drew The other thing I just found, I just discovered something today. I was doing some research and apparently it looks like the transdermal kinds of pills and things.

46:38 Adam The patches.

46:38 Drew The patches may be better at keeping libido up because when you take the pills and it goes through the liver, it can change the levels of something called sex hormone binding globulin, which is a protein that circulates in your blood and it goes up in response to that pass through the liver and that's a protein that hangs on to testosterone.

46:57 Adam Hold on a second, dude. Are you a real doctor or just a love doctor?

47:02 Drew And so the free testosterone is what gives you your libido and that drops down with all the sex hormone binding globulin going up. So if you use the transdermal agents, you may be able to sort of have an effect on that. So that's one thing I would look into.

47:13 Adam So hold on, quiet down, who cares? The transdermal stuff does not pass through the liver.

47:19 Drew No, it goes directly into your stream. It gets metabolized in the liver but doesn't have that first pass. See, things come out of your gut, go right into your liver through the portal circulation.

47:26 Adam How about a booze patch?

47:29 Drew Yeah.

47:30 Adam Well, I'm saying, I like to go home, pop a few Vicodin, drink some red wine. I don't want the pressure on the liver. What if I just take a shot glass of like Absolut and I just tape it to my arm? Will I eventually absorb it?

47:42 Drew No, you can keister it.

47:43 Adam What if I put a hole in it?

47:45 Drew Keister it, it'll go in.

47:46 Adam How about, what do I call this, stents?

47:48 Drew Stents?

47:48 Adam Stent? How about a little stem? Like a booze stem?

47:50 Drew Sure, you can do that.

47:51 Adam I hook myself up to it like I'm on dialysis. Drew, why not? Why can't I absorb that?

47:57 Drew The problem with the liver metabolism of alcohol is not because of first pass. It's the chronic exposure.

48:01 Adam Scott Oh, it is.

48:02 Adam That's first pass.

48:02 Drew No, no.

48:03 Adam Scott All right, so I didn't know that birth control pills affected women's libido. I didn't know.

48:07 Drew Oh, very definitely. Progesterone, in particular, Depo-Provera can shut them down big time. Some women need a little estrogen to enhance libido. They're more receptive. Estrogen makes women receptive. Androgens make them desire and have drive, and progesterone can either shut them down or give them drive.

48:21 Adam Sure. Who cares?

48:22 Caller Wellbutrin and anxiety medication.

48:26 Drew What anxiety medication?

48:28 Caller Oh, it starts with an X.

48:30 Drew Xanax?

48:31 Caller That's it.

48:32 Drew Yeesh.

48:33 Adam That starts with a Z, Dodo.

48:34 Drew No, that's X.

48:36 Caller Z.

48:37 Adam It's like xylophone or xerox, idiot. Who cares?

48:40 Caller What starts with a Z?

48:41 Caller Yeah.

48:42 Adam Well, the xylophone. Who cares? What about your husband? Is he, do you love him? Is he doing okay?

48:50 Caller Oh, yeah. I mean, we obviously have our issues. Issues being like he's stressed out and so he's grumpy with the kids.

48:58 Drew Here's the deal.

48:59 Adam Here's how he's in the military. Okay.

49:02 Drew Here's how I would approach this. A, get help so you're not stressed out all the time. B, spend time together so you can focus on this relationship a little bit. C, think about switching these transdermal agents for something perhaps with more estrogen. Sometimes try phasic pills if you're going to stay with the pill are more effective than the others in the pancing libido.

49:17 Adam You're in the military, that patch comes in Cami.

49:20 Drew Then get off the Xanax if you can because that's going to crush your libido a little bit further.

49:24 Adam All right. Look, you're 22. This is why you don't have three kids at 22 on a military salary.

49:30 Drew I was talking to a doctor today.

49:31 Adam You live in a tent for the love of Christ. You shave out of a helmet. I know the life. I've seen the movies.

49:37 Drew You've been there.

49:38 Adam Oh, lived it, yeah.

49:40 Drew Pee in the sink.

49:41 Adam Pee in the sink. Oh, yeah. What's up, Drew?

49:44 Drew I was talking to a doctor who does research on this stuff today and he was saying, he was listing the things that improve women's libido and desire and drive for sex. And he goes, you know, there's one thing that tends to supersede all others. That's a new partner.

49:54 Adam Scott Oh, yeah.

49:56 Drew Even for women, I thought that was interesting.

49:57 Adam Oh, really? New broom sweeps clean. I'll tell you why, because the new guys are all in the, I just want to stare into your eyes until forever. All this nonsense.

50:06 Caller Oh, what do you mean?

50:07 Adam Your old guy didn't picnic? He didn't picnic?

50:10 Drew Your old guy.

50:11 Adam We're going to the ball. Puss. There should be some sort of Geneva Convention where new guys, oh, aren't allowed to give foot massages and stare at us.

50:19 Drew You should see a laser appear on his forehead right at that point.

50:21 Adam Ready for your thoughts.

50:22 Drew Yeah.

50:23 Adam Scott Have you ever been on a picnic to the Hollywood Bowl when it wasn't in the first two months of the release?

50:28 Adam No, not in year number five.

50:29 Adam Scott No, no.

50:30 Adam And if you do go to the Hollywood Bowl, it's like, here's 20, go hit the snack check.

50:35 Caller I wish you'd change, bitch.

50:38 Adam Adam Scott here from The Aviator. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LLV-E-191. Adam Scott here tonight. Dear, dear friend, Adam Scott. From the Aviator. In theaters, as we speak. I think it's been in, it's been a theater. We're going on week number seven.

51:25 Adam Scott It's, it opened nationwide on Christmas Day. Oh my goodness. But it was in a few cities before that for a couple weeks.

51:32 Adam Well, I ran right out and saw it. I love airplanes. Anything airplane.

51:37 Adam Scott A lot of airplanes in the movie.

51:38 Adam A lot of airplanes in the movie. Big in airplanes. Doug, Doug, Doug, every aspect of that. And then the story was good and a huge, interesting story. So I mean, to me, I could have seen a second half of it, by the way. There could be a two hour part two that's just the Vegas years I would gladly watch.

51:56 Me too. Eric? Yeah.

51:58 Adam You're 18?

52:00 Caller Yeah.

52:00 Adam You have a Germany or Florida for us?

52:03 Caller Yeah.

52:04 Adam Alright, here's how Germany or Florida is played. You tell us the bizarre, macabre, wacky story and then we decide, is it Germany or Florida? Go ahead, Eric.

52:14 Caller A mother has been arrested and charged with aggravated neglect of a child at marijuana possession after she stepped out to smoke a joint and her daughter started a fire in their home. Passersby called the fire department when they saw flames shooting out of the woman's windows. The mother's four year old daughter had been left alone and was playing with candles which caused the fire.

52:33 Adam Four year old daughter, right?

52:35 Caller Yeah.

52:35 Adam Yeah, okay. Playing with candles. Alright, that's the story. That's the story.

52:39 Drew No other clues?

52:40 Adam Okay. Alright.

52:42 Adam Scott Candles ring Germany.

52:44 Adam They do.

52:44 Drew Yes, it does, doesn't it?

52:45 Adam Scott Why is it?

52:46 Drew It sure does. I don't know. Well, cause it doesn't ring Florida.

52:48 Adam They think Crystal Knock, you know, they're going down the street with the candles lit, busing all the juice windows.

52:53 Drew Yeah.

52:53 Adam Yeah, it feels German. Candles feel German.

52:56 Drew Story is Floridian. Yeah, yeah.

52:58 Adam Florida, it's Floridian, except for the part where you step outside to blow a joint.

53:02 Drew Oh yeah, she's too high right there.

53:03 Adam Florida, you get your kid high with you, like your dog. Put a hefty bag over the kid's head and just blow the bong smoke right into it.

53:09 Drew Something kept screaming Germany to me, I gotta tell you.

53:11 Adam We're going German?

53:12 Drew I think we're going Germany.

53:13 Adam Scott Crazy German vibes. Quality, I agree.

53:15 Adam All right, Adams, German, Adams, German.

53:17 Drew Even though it's a Floridian story, yeah, we're going German.

53:20 Adam All right, Eric, we're going Germany.

53:23 Caller Ah, it's Florida.

53:24 Adam Scott Oh, come on.

53:25 Drew God, we outsmarted ourselves.

53:26 Adam Scott That doesn't make any sense. That happened in our own country?

53:31 Drew Of course.

53:32 Adam I can't believe it. On Bush's watch?

53:34 Adam Scott Yeah, come on.

53:35 Adam I can't believe it. Oh, Eric has another Germany or Florida.

53:40 Drew That was a good one.

53:41 Caller Yeah.

53:41 Adam Jesus, Drew, when's the last time the whole panel was stumped?

53:45 Drew And such conviction, too.

53:48 Caller These are sick and twisted from two men, sons and Nazis, sex, meth and death fetishes.

53:53 Caller Both of them have got these.

53:56 Caller Germany or Florida.

53:58 Drew All right, we got to take a break.

53:59 Adam We do.

53:59 Drew Yeah.

54:00 Adam Why do we got to take a break so fast, Drew?

54:02 Drew What's that clock say?

54:03 Caller That clock.

54:03 Drew Clock on the wall.

54:04 Adam Clock on the wall says 1054 in 20 seconds.

54:07 Drew There we go.

54:07 Caller All right.

54:08 Adam Adam Scott here from The Aviator. And many other projects also out on cable on torque right now. Probably on as we speak. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

54:19 Caller All right, guys.

54:20 Caller Here's the deal.

54:21 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

54:24 Drew One call is all you need to make.

54:26 Caller Call the Dateline.

54:27 Caller 877-889-DATE. Love 191.

54:48 Adam Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Adam Scott here tonight from The Aviator.

54:54 Caller Little thing, you heard of it.

54:57 Adam Telling Adam during the commercial break that Ty Pennington's not a real carpenter. And I just have to laugh because engineer Anderson who probably hears the last 20 seconds of every conversation we have.

55:08 Drew Oh, here's the whole conversation.

55:09 Adam Probably hears it five times a week. Imposter, wood imposter, carpenter imposter. Oh, no. I asked him lay out. He said 18 on center. Remember that, Drew? 18 on center make the bays 16 and a half. Are you kidding? Make that R13 is going to drop into that bay.

55:30 Caller I was just telling some girl the other day, the whole story about how you exposed them and it breaks their hearts.

55:35 Adam Yeah.

55:36 Caller I think they get real sad.

55:38 Adam Imposter. Imposter.

55:39 Adam Scott But I think we all agree that he is gorgeous.

55:43 Adam Beautiful, beautiful man.

55:45 Adam Scott And very loud.

55:46 Drew And good with a megaphone.

55:46 Adam Yes. And a lovely guy. Not a bad guy, as far as I know, but not a carpenter. People, you know what? Let me just say this about carpenter very quickly. People mistake sort of handyman or hobbyist with carpenter. Carpenters like it's like it's like it would be like a massage therapist being being mixed with a doctor, confused for a doctor. There's a bunch of, you know, carpentry is just a whole bunch of technical stuff. It's like a whole bunch of 16 on centers and a whole bunch of here's the spans and here's the header spans and live loads and static loads and double top plates and treat them bottom plates and all this stuff that's to do with a bunch of crap, like flashing and Z molding and mill cores and stuff, expansion joints. It's just a bunch of boring mathematical stuff that you have to do. Otherwise, the inspector will shut you down. Right. But it's all just a bunch of technical stuff. It's not really about, you know, sticking beads, stringing beads and making a bathroom shower curtain out of it or sticking stuff or making, you know, or burning stuff with wood, you know, shellac or something.

56:51 Drew It's not design.

56:52 Adam No, it's not design. I think people, people are calling handy people carpenters.

56:57 Adam Scott Yes, but he, you know, it seems like he tries to pass himself off.

57:00 Adam Oh, no, no, no, he wouldn't know what the nailing schedule on some shear wall was.

57:05 Caller No way.

57:06 Adam Drew, do you know?

57:08 Drew Sixteen on center.

57:10 Caller No, no, no.

57:12 Adam Well, there's the field and then there's the scene.

57:15 Caller Oh, yeah.

57:15 Adam It's a little different, a little tighter.

57:16 Drew It seems like I'm talking about.

57:17 Adam It seems to be like four inches. It varies and the field might be eight or ten inches.

57:21 Caller Right.

57:23 Adam Chrissy?

57:24 Caller Yes. Yes.

57:27 Caller Yeah.

57:28 Caller Yeah.

57:28 Adam Now, in a tight panning, you know what I know him as now? Benedict Arnold.

57:32 Caller Oh.

57:33 Adam Benedict Arnold.

57:34 Adam Scott You know what you can call him is who cares.

57:37 Adam Chrissy?

57:38 Caller Yeah.

57:39 Adam You're 26?

57:40 Caller I'm 26.

57:42 Caller What's happening, baby doll?

57:44 Caller I've been taking double provera for about five years now. And I just recently went to go get my injection again, and they told me that it's going to be my last one because of the bone density that I'm losing or something.

57:58 Caller Right.

57:58 Drew That's what I mentioned earlier. Yeah.

58:00 Caller And I'm not completely sure what to do about that. I mean, they told me they're not going to give me another one. But I don't know.

58:06 Drew Yeah. Now you should switch to an estrogen-containing birth control. They believe that will restore. They don't think this is a long-term problem.

58:14 Adam The bone density comes back?

58:16 Drew It comes back if you're young.

58:16 Adam How do they measure that?

58:17 Drew We have something called a DEXA scan.

58:19 Adam Really?

58:20 Drew It's a radiographic scan that evaluates bone density.

58:23 Adam Yeah.

58:23 Drew But you don't have to do it. The fact is, though, that more than five years of DepoProvera is associated with...

58:28 Adam Massage therapists wouldn't know what a DEXA scan was.

58:30 You see how it works?

58:31 Drew It's considered a risk for significant bone loss, and so you want to switch over to an estrogen-containing pill or patch. Or ring or something. Now the ring's down, too.

58:40 Adam Uh-huh.

58:41 Drew Nuva Ring, yeah.

58:42 Adam Yeah.

58:43 Drew Estrogen Ring? No, no, Vaginal Ring. Oh, I see.

58:45 Adam Yeah. Speaking of ring, if you're nailing that shear wall off, you might want to use a ring-shank nail.

58:51 Drew Oh, ring-shank. Oh, yeah, I was just thinking that.

58:52 Adam A little more pull-out strength than a vinyl-coated sinker.

58:56 Drew Yeah, for the vinyl-coated sinker, though.

58:57 Adam Yeah. You know, I like to play a little game. I like to play in my head called Definitely Not a Jew. How about the guy that put the 16-penny framing nail into his head yesterday and actually had it x-rayed? Drew, I know you managed to miss everything that's on television and newspapers. This guy had an x-ray of a 16-penny framing nail, and 16-penny is a three-and-a-half-inch nail. It's the biggest nail in his brain that went under his chin, and there's a picture. Engineer Chris.

59:29 Caller I actually saw this. It was interesting.

59:31 Adam Pull something up on the Internet. I believe Chris has an eight-penny nail. It's a smaller nail that's sunk into his brain. But this guy had a framing nail. As big a nail as could be fired from a gun. I mean, they have pin guns and finish guns and finish nail guns and everything else. The biggest nail that can be fired from the biggest nail gun is a 16-penny nail. He had this under his jaw, this x-ray thing going up. Didn't feel a thing when the thing went into him. And then, I don't know, a week later, felt a little toothache. Yes, yes.

1:00:05 Drew Literally felt nothing?

1:00:06 Adam I didn't know about it when he did it. These guns will fire off. I mean, most of them, they have safeties on them, which is if you hold the trigger down, they don't do anything. You have to depress the end of it in order for them to fire.

1:00:20 Adam Scott So they backfire?

1:00:21 Adam I was able to get by that when I did Carpenter by holding it back and then firing at the people who are eating lunch. But the point is, you have to depress this thing on the end. Some guys take it off once in a while, whatever.

1:00:32 Drew Does that mean he leaves it up against his chin?

1:00:34 Adam I don't know what he did.

1:00:35 Drew He's resting.

1:00:36 Adam He fired a 16-penny nail up, which is at least three and a half, up in maybe three and a quarter, up in the bottom of his jaw and up in his head. There's a great X-ray. It looks like somebody did a CGI thing and laid it on top. But I thought, definitely not a Jew. Definitely not. No way was that guy a Jew.

1:00:56 Adam Scott No, he's not Jewish.

1:00:57 Drew You know what? They're not going to take that out either.

1:01:00 Adam They're just going to leave it. It's not in his brain.

1:01:02 Drew Yeah, but you take it out, you can cause life-threatening bleeding. Then the arteries break loose.

1:01:09 Adam Chris, find that picture.

1:01:11 Caller I did.

1:01:11 Adam Oh, you did?

1:01:12 Drew Can I go over there?

1:01:13 Adam Yeah, go over there.

1:01:14 Caller He was thinking of changing his job now. What?

1:01:16 Caller He was. Doing something different other than a carpenter.

1:01:20 Adam All right. Drew's going to go look at that. Yeah. You see that, Drew? No, I think it went under his chin and went straight up. Did it not?

1:01:32 Drew It looks like it's going like this.

1:01:33 Adam Sideways? Oh, really?

1:01:36 Drew It's in his orbit. It's in his sinuses.

1:01:38 Adam Oh, well, maybe I misread the thing or maybe the newspaper was sideways or something like that. Let me look at that. Oh, yeah. I'm wrong about it. Went in his cheek and just kept going. Let me tell you something about carpenters, Drew. I work with a lot of these guys. A lot of extra room in the brain cavity there. You could put a piece of rebar in one ear and out the other, and it probably wouldn't hit anything.

1:02:00 Adam Scott Well, you can actually keep nails in there if you have enough room.

1:02:03 Adam A lot of guys I work with, that's where they... A lot of people say they should keep in their mouths. No, they keep the three or four they're using in their mouth, but the actual box, the keg and nails, that's up in the... It's in their head. That's in the cabeza. Sure, sure.

1:02:15 Adam Scott Keep other tools in there, too.

1:02:16 Adam I don't want to tell you where they keep the caulk. I don't want to say it.

1:02:19 Adam Scott Where? I don't want to... Where they keep the caulk, Adam?

1:02:21 Adam I can't say where they keep it. Come on. I'll tell you this thing. They pump their fist, it comes out. Oh. But that's all I can say.

1:02:26 Adam Scott Oh, wait a second.

1:02:27 Adam That's all I can say. They do that fist pump, and the caulk comes out.

1:02:30 Adam Scott That's when it comes out.

1:02:31 Adam It's a little bit of a... Almost a dispenser. Drew, what are you seeing over there?

1:02:34 Drew I'd say that he... Is this on? He looked up and somebody else was shooting nails, and he actually went through some wood and fired into him.

1:02:41 Adam Through wood? It went all the way through the wood?

1:02:44 Drew Yeah, let me read this.

1:02:45 Adam What size nail was that? It's a big one.

1:02:48 Drew He was looking up, went through the board, which must have slowed it down, otherwise it would have gone straight through and struck his brain stem, which would have killed him instantly.

1:02:55 Adam No, it wouldn't have gone that deep.

1:02:56 Drew Well, if it went through wood... It's this far from his brain stem now. It's a half an inch from it.

1:03:00 Adam Listen, I fired a million of those things. They barely sink themselves into two by four. I don't know what the hell that thing went through. The compressors. Well, find out what size nail it was, Drew.

1:03:10 Adam Scott He may have been working with balsa wood.

1:03:13 Adam Yes, maybe he was building a giant airplane. Lolita?

1:03:20 Yes.

1:03:21 Adam You're 29?

1:03:22 Caller Yes.

1:03:23 Adam What's up?

1:03:24 Caller Thank you for taking my call. I've been listening to you guys on and off for about 10 years and I still have the same problem. I didn't call you about 10 years ago.

1:03:33 Adam Well, thank you for limiting yourself to only four beers. Because it sounds like you have a buzz, but you're not loaded.

1:03:41 Caller Oh, no. I haven't drank since New Year's.

1:03:44 Adam Really? It's been a lot. Drew, did you find out what size nail it was?

1:03:49 Drew Didn't say. It looks like it goes very from his orbit to his brain stem. So it's got to be this.

1:03:55 Adam Chris, find out the size of that nail. Go ahead, Loveline.

1:03:59 Caller My dilemma is I've been married for almost four years.

1:04:05 Drew Hang on a second, Loveline. Where did you get the idea that he didn't feel the nail going in? This guy was looking up and the guy shot him in the face. He was like, oh, went to the hospital.

1:04:14 Adam Scott Maybe it's another guy.

1:04:15 Adam I think it was another guy.

1:04:17 Drew This is something, well.

1:04:19 Adam Go find the other guy. Chris, find the other guy. I'm telling you, there's another guy. Look, guys get shot.

1:04:27 Adam Scott Maybe it's Ty Pennington or whatever.

1:04:29 Adam Oh, I could only be so lucky. Then I take over.

1:04:33 Adam Scott Absolutely.

1:04:34 Adam The cream rises to the top. Four inch nail.

1:04:38 Drew How do you know that, Anderson?

1:04:39 Adam Anderson said that. It's not a four inch nail.

1:04:42 Caller Is this what it says here?

1:04:44 Adam No, because those guns shoot 16 penny nails, and I don't think those are four inches. They're like three and a half.

1:04:51 Caller All right, Lolita, here we go.

1:04:52 Adam This is exciting. Teenagers love this kind of penny talk.

1:04:56 Adam Scott Nail talk.

1:04:57 Adam Nail talk. Hey, Chris, find out how many inches a 16 penny nail is.

1:05:02 Drew Just look up 16 penny nails. 16 penny nails. Google 16 penny nails.

1:05:07 Adam Scott Well, it's probably as long as 16 pennies.

1:05:09 Drew No. Lolita, what's going on? This is why she's waited 10 years to suffer through this.

1:05:15 Caller Yeah, what's 10 more minutes? Right.

1:05:17 Adam What's up?

1:05:19 Caller Well, I'm kind of at the situation where my husband calls it my sexual dysfunction. And it's caused a lot of stress in my family.

1:05:33 Drew What is your sexual dysfunction?

1:05:35 Caller My sexual dysfunction is I have a problem reaching orgasm.

1:05:40 Drew You're unable to? Or it's difficult for you?

1:05:43 Caller Well, I've had about three since I lost my virginity at 19.

1:05:50 Drew And does your husband do all the usual things to try to help you?

1:05:55 Caller Yeah, I believe, you know, well, we went to a sexual therapist.

1:06:02 Adam Oh, man, that's uncomfortable for a dude.

1:06:06 Drew Well, it's not. It's her orgasm.

1:06:07 Adam Yeah, but they find out he's not going down on her. And then he cries and he does that tuck thing in front of the mirror. Yeah. I mean, that's, it's getting a little cathartic, but this, it can be embarrassing.

1:06:19 Caller Well, the problem is I can't reach one by myself either.

1:06:24 Drew Do you ever use a vibrator?

1:06:25 Caller Yeah.

1:06:26 Drew Does he do oral sex on you?

1:06:27 Adam 16-panty or 8-panty vibrator.

1:06:28 Drew Does he do oral sex?

1:06:30 Caller Yep.

1:06:31 Drew Okay. Do you have any medical problems?

1:06:34 Caller No.

1:06:35 Drew Are you on a medication?

1:06:41 Caller Basically, the therapist said, you know, you have marital problems and that's mainly what's keeping you from.

1:06:48 Adam Scott But it sounds like this has been happening since long before you were married.

1:06:51 Caller That's true.

1:06:52 Drew Has it been the same guy all along?

1:06:54 Caller No.

1:06:55 Drew No.

1:06:55 Adam Well, you sound depressed. Are you depressed?

1:06:59 Caller No. It's late and I'm just, you know, I work. I have two kids and, you know, all right.

1:07:05 Drew Are you wanting medication?

1:07:07 Caller No, I don't take any medication.

1:07:10 Drew Do you still see the sex therapist?

1:07:12 Caller No, I quit. I felt there were not going anywhere.

1:07:17 Drew How many times did you see her?

1:07:18 Caller Him I saw about five, six times.

1:07:22 Adam Let me ask a delicate question. Do you guys have to pork in front of the therapist?

1:07:30 Caller No, no, actually, we went and then the therapist wanted just to work with me and he asked my husband not to come anymore.

1:07:39 Drew Drew, what was the issue he was working on with you?

1:07:42 Caller Why I have a hard time reaching an organ?

1:07:45 Drew I know, I know that was the theme, but what was the issue he was working on? Were you sexually abused, were you abandoned, neglected, physically abused?

1:07:53 Caller No, I wasn't, well, that's one of the things is I come from a different culture and we didn't really have a sex ed and I didn't know about female orgasm for the longest time.

1:08:08 Drew What's the culture you come from?

1:08:10 Caller Eastern Europe.

1:08:12 Drew Eastern Europe.

1:08:13 Adam Scott What part, where?

1:08:14 Caller Latvia.

1:08:16 Adam Latvia?

1:08:17 Caller Yeah.

1:08:17 Adam I don't even know where that is. Somewhere around Hungary, right?

1:08:21 Caller Baltic Sea.

1:08:22 Adam No. Didn't help.

1:08:24 Caller Yeah, well.

1:08:25 Adam You guys have those dots? You guys see those dots on your head?

1:08:28 Caller No, we don't.

1:08:30 Adam Well, then I don't know where else.

1:08:31 Drew All right. And your relationship with your parents was good?

1:08:33 Caller My father is an alcoholic.

1:08:35 Drew All right.

1:08:36 Adam But he's the mayor. I mean, of her city. Yeah, I mean, nobody's, everyone's a boozer over there, right? They have to drink.

1:08:42 Drew But the point is though, she's got some issues and maybe getting individual therapy and not focusing just on the sexual dysfunction might help you come along.

1:08:50 Adam You got an alcoholic dad.

1:08:50 Drew As your therapist said, you've got interpersonal issues, you're an adult child of an alcoholic, you have significant trauma issues. That stuff can all get sorted out. This is, I kind of object to people.

1:08:59 Adam Isn't everyone depressed from that part of the world?

1:09:01 Drew She sounds depressed. I sort of object to people looking at sexuality as an isolated phenomenon absent the entire system.

1:09:08 Adam Right.

1:09:08 Drew Sex is always a symptom of something far more global going on either in the person or interpersonally.

1:09:13 Adam Right.

1:09:14 Drew And she needs to work on that.

1:09:16 Adam Yeah. No, I agree. It's not one part that's broken down. It's affected by all parts. And yeah, having the alcoholic, possibly abusive dad and growing up in the environment.

1:09:28 Drew Having been depressed.

1:09:29 Adam And she sounds depressed.

1:09:30 Drew She may be chronically depressed, doesn't even know that she's depressed. And finally, there are biological things that can be adjusted and that needs to be looked at very carefully.

1:09:38 Adam Scott It's been happening for 10 years. She said four organs for 10 years.

1:09:42 Drew Yeah.

1:09:42 Adam Yeah. All right. Here's a guy who's a carpenter, knows all about nail guns.

1:09:49 Drew Should we bet that he's not a carpenter?

1:09:52 Adam I'd just say he's calling our show to be prepared for disappointment, everyone. Steve?

1:09:58 Caller Hey, how you doing?

1:09:59 Adam 21.

1:10:01 Caller I was just calling to clarify, actually. There's an NR-90 commercial gun that'll shoot better than, bigger than 16-penny nails.

1:10:08 Adam Scott Really?

1:10:09 Caller Yeah, it's only for commercial use for the most part, but it's an NR-83 for the most part, it's the most common Hitachi. That shoots a 16-penny nail, but an NR-90 will shoot up to a four-inch nail.

1:10:21 Adam What do they use it for?

1:10:24 Caller Primarily for commercial work, for the big construction, the big buildings. You don't see it very much in residential.

1:10:29 Adam Hold on. Big buildings are made with girders and steel studs. They don't even use wood in big commercial buildings.

1:10:38 Caller Well, for the most parts, the structure is all steel or whatnot, but most of the interior walls...

1:10:44 Adam No, most of the interior walls are metal studs that are snapped into channels. The drywall is screwed off with tech screws.

1:10:52 Caller They're not very common, but there are NR-90s. It's a commercial gun, and it carries a bigger slide than the NR-83.

1:10:57 Drew You're not going to get it. It's for pure work, it's for work out of the seaside.

1:11:00 Adam If you use a lot of wood studs in commercial interiors, you're high. They don't use any wood in commercial interiors.

1:11:06 Caller That's not so true. For the most part, a lot of the old buildings, they use a lot of wood.

1:11:12 Adam Yeah, but this gun is five years old. All right, I'm going to look into this. Thank you.

1:11:18 Drew What kind of work do you do, Steve?

1:11:19 Caller I do carpentry, mainly residential. Every now and then we do commercial.

1:11:23 Adam All right.

1:11:23 Drew And have you used one of those big guns before?

1:11:25 Adam No.

1:11:26 Caller Actually, when I just started years ago, I bought it and I hated the gun. And my boss actually used to make fun of me because the fact that I spent $500 on a commercial gun was hardly ever used.

1:11:36 Drew Did you ever use it?

1:11:38 Caller I used it for about six months and then I went out and bought a...

1:11:40 Drew What were you doing? Tell us where you were using it.

1:11:43 Caller Well, you can use them with 16-penny guns, too.

1:11:45 Drew I was actually using a commercial.

1:11:47 Adam Steve, you were just using a four-inch nail, just nailing two-by-fours.

1:11:52 Caller Yes, you can. I was running 16-penny nails through it, but it will shoot up to a four-inch nail.

1:11:57 Adam All right.

1:11:58 Caller All right.

1:11:58 Adam Scott Steve, do you know where Latvia is? Latvia? Well, we're just going to help the people with their orgasm.

1:12:05 Adam Are those dots caused by nails? All right, Steve, you want to stump me before you leave?

1:12:12 Caller No, I wasn't trying to stump you.

1:12:13 Drew No, no, try. No, no, Steve. Try to stump him. Come on.

1:12:16 Adam Hey, listen, Steve, you're right. I mean, nobody uses one of those guns, but you're right to say they exist, and I'm sure they weren't using one of these through the guy's head.

1:12:25 Drew Be the first to stump Adam, Steve. Come on. Give him a carpenter question. What?

1:12:30 Caller I said I'll take a shot at it.

1:12:31 Drew All right, go. Here we go. Here you go.

1:12:36 Caller All right.

1:12:37 Adam All right.

1:12:37 Caller Let's hear it.

1:12:39 Adam You're not faxing this in.

1:12:41 Drew Go ahead now.

1:12:42 Caller Oh, no, no. I'm not going to ask the question. I figured you guys are going to try and ask me one and see if I can.

1:12:47 Drew Why don't you try to stump Adam?

1:12:48 Caller All right. All right.

1:12:50 Adam I'll try to stump you. OSB, what does it stand for?

1:12:54 Caller Oriented Strand, I can't remember, Oriented Strand Board or something like that.

1:12:59 Adam Yes.

1:13:01 Caller All right. All right.

1:13:03 Adam What is the difference between a glulam and a perilam?

1:13:09 Caller I think glulam is, glulam is actually glued together. Perilam are too. I believe glulam.

1:13:16 Adam Oh boy.

1:13:19 Caller Now, this is wonderful.

1:13:23 Adam Even Huel Hauser loves it. All right, Steve, you know what you're doing, buddy? I'm giving you a B plus.

1:13:30 Drew B plus? Will you get to A if you stomp Adam? Ask him a question and stomp him.

1:13:34 Adam Give me a stomp her. Come on.

1:13:36 Drew All right.

1:13:36 Go ahead.

1:13:39 Adam It's easy to do. There's tons of junk.

1:13:42 Drew Yeah, I know.

1:13:42 Caller I'm trying to think. That's the thing.

1:13:44 Adam What did you work on today? What did you work on today, Steve?

1:13:47 Caller Actually, I'm on my other job today. But construction, the last time I did it, I'm building a custom home currently. All right.

1:13:54 Adam Well, ask me a question about gay porn then.

1:13:56 Drew I'm making like a wood railing or something, or a staircase railing.

1:14:00 Caller You got to put it on top. I got to know something about. Yeah. All right.

1:14:04 Drew All right, Steve.

1:14:05 Adam Thanks, buddy. You guys have a good night. So he says there is a four-inch nail that is shot from a gun. But it's very uncommon. I'm saying it's like saying a guy got shot with a gun that isn't really in wide circulation. You're going to put your money on the nine millimeter or the Saturday Night Special. I'm playing the odds. That's all. Let's talk to Dave's got a foreskin question. Any hot chicks? Adrian?

1:14:33 Drew Dave, real quick. What's the question?

1:14:36 Caller I have two questions. The first one is about foreskin. The second one is about therapy.

1:14:41 Drew What about the foreskin?

1:14:43 Caller Like that in my penis, there's skin that folds. When I pull back my foreskin, half of it is like you can pull it away from the head. And the rest is like stuck on there. It feels like it should come all the way back, but it doesn't.

1:15:01 Adam Scott Sounds like a malfunction.

1:15:03 Drew No way you can get it back?

1:15:04 Caller Not really. Like it slowly, it'll like tear away like certain parts. But when I try too hard, it'll rip a little bit.

1:15:12 Adam It's like when a dog can't get its whole head through a fence, but you can see the skin sticking through. It still barks. It still barks, but you don't get to see the dog's ears.

1:15:23 Caller I see.

1:15:24 Adam Scott Can it still eat?

1:15:27 Adam It could eat. Yeah. It could eat.

1:15:28 Drew It slobber.

1:15:29 Adam It slobbers, yeah.

1:15:30 Drew So Dave, if it causes you discomfort, if it starts tearing, sometimes the narrowing and the tightness can get worse. It's a reason to get a circumcision if you're interested, but it's not an absolute indication yet.

1:15:42 Adam Well, you should go to urologists.

1:15:44 Drew Go to urologists and see about getting it snipped. It's not a big deal.

1:15:47 Adam Scott It sounds painful.

1:15:49 Adam How about just a relief cut, little apesionary on there.

1:15:51 Drew Maybe they can do something like that, but the more you tear and cut, the more it tends to narrow.

1:15:55 Adam I would like a flap. I would like just a relief cut down it. You know what I mean?

1:15:59 Caller Other procedures you can have that will remove the foreskin all the way back, so you're able to pull it back normally.

1:16:06 Drew You could just have a circumcision.

1:16:08 Caller Instead of having it removed, just have it pulled back.

1:16:11 Drew I don't know the answer to that.

1:16:12 Adam Well, they might be able to stretch it out a little too or something.

1:16:15 Drew Yeah, they might. All right, let's see urologists about that, okay?

1:16:18 Adam What else?

1:16:19 Drew What about therapy?

1:16:20 Caller Yeah, I come from an abusive family. My dad's an alcoholic and he's verbally abusive. And I have a younger brother and younger sister. And they grow up around that like I did.

1:16:33 Caller Where's my bourbon?

1:16:34 Adam All right, well, I'll go find some therapy.

1:16:36 Caller I don't know what to do though, really.

1:16:39 Adam What about some issue? What about going to the nearest university?

1:16:42 Drew Right, are you going to college?

1:16:43 Caller Yeah, junior college. Junior college. Ooh, yeah.

1:16:46 Drew They probably still have some mental health services there. Go, take a banjo.

1:16:49 Caller They could barely have a snack shack.

1:16:51 Drew They will.

1:16:51 Adam Barely.

1:16:52 Drew They will.

1:16:53 Adam Yeah, here's how it works. There's some old broaders smoking behind the window like, yeah, listen, I'm having something. You want a peachy folder? My dad was verbally and physically abused. You don't want the peachy folder? I'm going through some issues, right? You can doodle on it. You can turn the guy on the track into a gangbanger carrying a knife instead of a tie. Are you kidding? Everyone in junior college needs therapy.

1:17:18 Drew Yeah, but they know that no one uses it.

1:17:20 Adam That is there. You know what junior college is? It's therapy with a fence. It's a corral of people that need therapy. It's 2,000 people that should be in a therapist's office instead of there.

1:17:30 Drew Yeah.

1:17:31 Adam Please.

1:17:31 Drew It's not the waiting room.

1:17:32 Adam Stop wasting everyone's time with that cruddy junior college. Go to a real college. You know we should go to NYU and throw himself on the mercy of their court. See what they got going over there.

1:17:41 Drew Sure, sure.

1:17:42 Adam Yeah?

1:17:42 Drew It'd be great.

1:17:43 Adam All right. We're going to take a little break. You find out how big a 16 penny nail was, Chris?

1:17:48 Caller Three and four-fifths inches.

1:17:50 Caller Ah.

1:17:51 Adam Three and four-fifths.

1:17:53 Caller That's what it says over here.

1:17:54 Adam Three and four-fifths.

1:17:55 Adam Scott That's like three and three quarters almost.

1:17:58 Adam Three and seven. Light three and four. Drew, look at that. What you got? Boring bit. We will take ourselves a little break. Adam Scott. I wish I'd never said that, Drew. I didn't even know what context it was in. I wish it never came out of my mouth.

1:18:11 Caller You're talking about a bit. All right. You're talking about a boring bit that you use on a drill.

1:18:15 Adam Thanks, genius.

1:18:17 Caller When I turn it around, it means something else.

1:18:20 Adam I was talking about home improvement then.

1:18:22 Caller Yes, you were.

1:18:23 Adam Thank Christ. Adam Scott here from The Aviator. Take a quick break. We're right back after this. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. Tonight, our guest is Adam Scott, a dynamic young actor who's crafted his distinguished career in theater and television, and is quickly becoming one of the finest newcomers to hit the big screen. Adam Scott, everybody. And you know what?

1:19:04 Drew Who wrote that?

1:19:07 Adam No one wrote that. Those are my feelings.

1:19:09 Adam Scott That's amazing. Thanks, Adam.

1:19:10 Adam It's time you know how I feel.

1:19:12 Adam Scott Thank you.

1:19:13 Adam Adam was most recently seen in the Warner Brothers action feature, Torque, for director Joseph Cahn. The film co-starred Ice Cube, again, just off the top of my head. Jamie Pressley, Martin Henderson. Prior to that, Adam was showcased in Carl Franklin's High Crimes for 20th Century Fox.

1:19:34 Adam Scott Showcased?

1:19:34 Adam Adam was showcased. Yes, he was.

1:19:36 Drew Publicist talk.

1:19:37 Adam Now, he can be found in a little indie film called The Aviator, everybody. Kiss his ass.

1:19:44 Adam Scott A low-budget indie upstart.

1:19:47 Drew Scorsese film.

1:19:48 Adam Yes, The Aviator.

1:19:50 Adam Scott There's some buzz on Martin Scorsese. I don't know if you've heard of this new director.

1:19:55 Adam I know Martin Short.

1:19:58 Adam Scott Martin Short, yeah, different guy.

1:19:59 Adam Different?

1:20:00 Adam Scott Different guy. Martin Scorsese is a film director.

1:20:03 Drew Steve Martin?

1:20:05 Adam Scott Nope, different guy. Still a different guy. I know. This might take a while.

1:20:09 Adam So it's not either one of the Martins? No.

1:20:13 Adam Scott Martin Scorsese. Just remember, write the name down. You'll hear about it.

1:20:16 Adam I've not heard. I promise. By the way, when did he become Scorsese? He was Scorsese for a long time. Is he Scorsese? Did he change it? Do people change? What about Cannes and Cannes?

1:20:27 Adam Scott What about the film festival town?

1:20:29 Adam Hiroshima and Hiroshima.

1:20:31 Adam Scott How about just Who Cares? Just call it All Who Cares.

1:20:34 Drew It's back to Andre and Andrea. It's Who Cares.

1:20:37 Adam Would this be an awesome society if once somebody flip-flopped a couple of times, you know those Jack-Off buddies of yours named Chris, who want to be called Christopher?

1:20:46 Drew You get Who Cares, let Monica.

1:20:50 Adam When Cannes goes to Cannes, or Cannes goes to Cannes, who cares? You're now Who Cares.

1:20:55 Drew The Who Cares film festival.

1:20:57 Adam Yeah. You want to keep going? We're going toward Who Gives a Rat's Ass. You guys should be praying for your Who Cares designation.

1:21:04 Adam Scott Who Gives a Rat's Ass.

1:21:05 Adam Right. And the Hiroshima and the Hiroshima and all that stuff, that'll be Who Cares too. And here's the deal. The Who Cares will last for 10 year period.

1:21:13 Drew Before you can work it off.

1:21:15 Adam You have to work it off, but then half up again.

1:21:17 Drew Back on.

1:21:18 Adam Back on. That's how it's going to work.

1:21:19 Drew It's tough love.

1:21:20 Adam All right. And oh, the one that kills me is Neanderthal somehow became Neanderthal.

1:21:27 Adam Scott Oh yeah.

1:21:27 Adam What?

1:21:28 Adam Scott I haven't heard that one.

1:21:29 Drew I told you, I believe that every generation of scientist or scholar, whatever, has to make their mark by changing the nomenclature, by changing just the words. And when I was in medical school, I had a professor calling skeletal, skeletal nomenclature.

1:21:46 Adam Yes.

1:21:47 Drew We had a hundred words like that. I was thinking, oh, Professor, who cares?

1:21:51 Adam He's just changed his time.

1:21:52 Drew Umbilicus, Umbilicus.

1:21:54 Adam Scott Oh, really? Come on.

1:21:55 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:21:55 Adam I don't know either one of those. I do remember a very uncomfortable conversation with my grandmother when she said that it's not clitoris, it's clitoris.

1:22:06 Drew Or she went the other way. He went the other way.

1:22:07 Adam We were saying clitoris on the radio and my grandmother was listening and pulled me aside and said, it's clitoris.

1:22:15 Drew Here's, here's my way of doing it. Now, the closer to how it's said, the closer to the center of the country you get, however they're saying it, that's what I'm saying.

1:22:24 Adam Yeah. Well, they call it their jelly bee.

1:22:28 Drew That's what I'm calling it then.

1:22:28 Adam He flipped my jelly bee.

1:22:30 Drew Perfect.

1:22:30 Adam He licked my mackenac.

1:22:31 Drew Perfect.

1:22:32 Adam He flipped my jelly bee. Yeah. No, it was great. It was great. My grandma's great too. She's such a blowhard. She was like, she said, she said, she got indignant when we started arguing about it. Listen, I say, I say Clitoris, she said, Claris, you know, she goes, she goes, she said, Hank Gale is a doctor. And he says, I said, what do you think Dr. Drew is? Just because he's my doctor friend means he doesn't mean anything. He's like a doctor. Like, what do you think? Do you think he got the doctor because he makes barbecue sauce? He's a doctor, you old bag.

1:23:06 Adam Scott I can't believe you even let that argument go on, like sitting around arguing with your grandma. I got, I got.

1:23:10 Drew Then she brought up the rim job.

1:23:11 Adam Ass full of her.

1:23:12 Adam Scott Oh, come on.

1:23:13 Adam I swear to you.

1:23:14 Adam Scott Your grandmother brought up her rim job.

1:23:16 Adam Let me just finish my clitoris versus clitoris argument with grandmother. One, to grandpa, who's passed away now, but grandpa's large print dictionary.

1:23:27 Drew Oh, nice.

1:23:28 Adam It is the size of a, like an Ikea, this dick shift that you have to open it with a forklift. To use a gantry tray to actually open the thing. The letters are actually the size, they're like the size of a human being.

1:23:41 Drew And you have the big upside down E at the end of clitoris. Clitoris.

1:23:47 Adam You know what it says? Can pronounce either way.

1:23:49 Drew Of course. All right.

1:23:50 Adam Scott I said how did they have a picture next to it? An enormous viewing.

1:23:55 Adam Thankfully, my grandmother still had hers.

1:23:57 Drew And then the rim job, want to tell them that story?

1:23:59 Adam My grandmother wouldn't know if I'd heard of a rim job.

1:24:01 Drew At dinner. Yeah. Announced it at the dinner table.

1:24:03 Adam I wonder if anyone had heard of a rim job. Very uncomfortable. Very, very uncomfortable. And so what did you say? I was like, could we please get back to the clitoris argument, please?

1:24:13 Drew I'm sure he took a beat. How bad could it be? Just wait a little bit.

1:24:17 Adam Scott He took a beat.

1:24:19 Adam My first impulse was it was like a piece of trivia that you knew the answer to. And then said, oh.

1:24:25 Adam Scott But had she heard of a rim job?

1:24:27 Adam No.

1:24:28 Adam Scott And that she wanted to know what it was.

1:24:29 Adam That was the shocking part. She hadn't heard of it. Had somebody fill her in on it. And then understood the merits of it, but wasn't sure if it was for her. That was basic.

1:24:43 Drew Appreciate of the merits.

1:24:44 Adam But couldn't judge.

1:24:45 Adam Scott She wanted to hear from you the possible benefits.

1:24:48 Drew No, she just wanted to know that she wasn't completely out of it.

1:24:51 Adam It's one of those things where a couple of people go, oh, yeah, sure. No, you hadn't heard of that. And then you go home and go, does everyone know? You know, you do that thing. You go home and you say your wife, hey, I didn't know that. Yeah, that one. Well, that was her with rim job. I bit my tongue. Yeah, I did that.

1:25:08 Drew Didn't your sister say something like, well, Adam knows.

1:25:11 Adam Something like that. I've blocked a lot of stuff out and I think it's just best that way.

1:25:16 Adam Scott Oh, I agree. Your grandmother sounds awesome.

1:25:18 Adam Delight. Jill?

1:25:20 Caller Hi.

1:25:21 Adam You're 19?

1:25:22 Caller Yes.

1:25:23 Adam What's up?

1:25:25 Caller My boyfriend had a hard time keeping an erection during sex.

1:25:29 Drew How long into it does he lose it?

1:25:32 Caller Sometimes it will be like within, well, basically sex with him never lasts more than 10 minutes.

1:25:40 Drew So he ejaculates and then he loses his erection, right?

1:25:44 Caller Oh, no, no, no. Sometimes after a minute, it'll just go soft and he won't even notice that it's gone soft. I'll have to say something.

1:25:52 Adam Oh, really?

1:25:53 Caller Yeah.

1:25:54 Adam Scott How long have you guys been together?

1:25:55 Caller A year.

1:25:57 Adam Wow. That's weird.

1:25:58 Adam Scott Has it always been that way?

1:26:00 Caller Pardon me? You're both talking at once.

1:26:02 Adam Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just picturing him not like for you, he must feel like he's just being raped with a slinky. And he doesn't know it?

1:26:11 Drew How could he not know?

1:26:11 Caller Like a worm. I don't know.

1:26:15 Adam The feeling. How does he stay in you?

1:26:19 Caller Pardon me? How does he stay?

1:26:20 Adam How dare you ask such a sensitive question.

1:26:22 Drew How does he stay inside?

1:26:25 Caller He doesn't. It kind of like.

1:26:28 Drew It falls out. And then how does he not know that's what's happening?

1:26:31 Adam Scott Maybe he's just pretending.

1:26:32 Drew Yeah, he's just embarrassed and sort of.

1:26:34 Caller It's like a little bit will stay in.

1:26:36 Adam You know the embarrassing part is he's like, take it all, bitch. He's like flopping around the bed.

1:26:42 Adam Scott Yeah, you love it.

1:26:43 Adam Yeah, I know what that quizzical look on your face means, baby. What is that, Drew?

1:26:50 Drew That's weird.

1:26:51 Adam He's got to know.

1:26:52 Drew He's got to know just be so embarrassed to deal with it.

1:26:54 Adam Scott Yeah, that's it, I think. Has it always been like that? The whole year you've been together?

1:26:59 Caller Basically. It seems to happen more like when we're having sex more regularly, but then like sometimes even if we haven't had sex for a week, it'll happen.

1:27:10 Drew And now let me ask a couple of questions. Are you guys using a condom when this happens?

1:27:15 Caller Sometimes. Sometimes not.

1:27:16 Drew Not all the time. Is he on a medication?

1:27:19 Caller No.

1:27:20 Drew He's not diabetic or has any medical problems?

1:27:24 Caller He has a twin brother who's diabetic. I don't know if he had.

1:27:28 Drew He might want to get his blood sugar checked because diabetes can definitely affect the rectal function.

1:27:33 Adam How does that work with twins?

1:27:35 Drew Is he, are they identical twins?

1:27:36 Caller No, they're fraternal.

1:27:37 Drew Yeah, so, but still. Not necessarily, no.

1:27:40 Adam What if they were identical?

1:27:42 Drew Then it would be more likely, obviously.

1:27:43 Adam They would.

1:27:44 Drew Yeah, they're still thought to be an environmental hit.

1:27:45 Adam But not a given.

1:27:46 Drew Not an absolute, no.

1:27:48 Adam Really?

1:27:48 Drew There's an environmental hit oftentimes with diabetes.

1:27:50 Adam There is.

1:27:51 Drew Some people even think it's a virus, that you're genetically prone to having this from.

1:27:55 Adam Scott I remember hearing about the virus theory. It's very interesting.

1:27:59 Drew There's probably a subset of it is the virus and some just genetically triggered.

1:28:03 Adam Jill.

1:28:03 Drew All right, Jill.

1:28:06 Caller Type 1 and type 2 kind of diabetes. He has the kind where you get it as a child.

1:28:10 Drew Yeah, it's type 1. Juvenile onset, insulin-deficient diabetes. What does he say when this happens?

1:28:18 Caller He goes, he says, I don't know, he says it's like he can't keep the blood in there.

1:28:24 Drew Yeah, well, I understand the description of what's happening.

1:28:29 Adam This is all new ground for me.

1:28:31 Drew He needs a medical evaluation to make sure there's not something going on. Conceivably, he could even use Viagra for this.

1:28:36 Adam Well, if you're losing it when you're in, that's an issue. It's one thing when you're nervous, you can't get the condom on, and you know, I drink too many wine coolers. I'm not going to apologize to you or anybody else, but I'm saying.

1:28:50 Drew But some people feel overwhelmed and anxious when they're in.

1:28:53 Adam Oh, really? Yeah, but after a year.

1:28:56 Drew I know.

1:28:56 Adam I have to focus. Yeah. After a year.

1:28:59 Drew All right.

1:28:59 Adam He needs a medical evaluation first.

1:29:01 Caller OK.

1:29:02 Drew And they may be able to use something like Viagra for him. But then again, you need to get him to be more honest about what's going on with him.

1:29:08 Adam OK.

1:29:09 Adam Scott Is he as young as you are, 19?

1:29:11 Caller He's 23.

1:29:12 Adam Oh, boy. He's an older man.

1:29:13 Drew He's not doing drugs or alcohol at the time?

1:29:16 Caller Oh, no.

1:29:17 Adam I'll tell you, at 23, when your joint is tachowing in the shell.

1:29:23 Drew That's bad news.

1:29:25 Adam I mean, when it's actually folded over and you're actually in, that's a bad sign at 23.

1:29:31 Adam Scott Because at 23, you're supposed to be walking around with an erection.

1:29:34 Drew It's hard to process that.

1:29:37 Adam You know what I had the other day? I had such a good boner, just waking up from a nap.

1:29:42 Drew Please tell me. Yes. I'm painting the picture. Hold on.

1:29:47 Adam Well, Drew.

1:29:48 Drew I'm waking up with such a good boner.

1:29:50 Adam Well, please. No, you're a doctor.

1:29:52 Drew No, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure.

1:29:54 Adam Drew, if you're going to make fun of me, I'm not going to open up.

1:29:56 Drew Please, please. Go ahead.

1:29:57 Caller I'm painting.

1:29:58 Adam All right. I woke up from a nap. I had a great-

1:30:01 Drew I can't look at you while you're talking about it.

1:30:02 Adam World class boner. By the way, I don't know why the greatest 150 boners of my life, there's not been a chick within 80 feet of my door. How's that work, by the way?

1:30:12 Drew What makes a world class boner?

1:30:14 Adam There are times-

1:30:14 Drew You're gay.

1:30:15 Adam There are times when there's blood in it, and there's times when it's stretching toward the sun.

1:30:21 Drew I see.

1:30:21 Adam It's stretching.

1:30:22 Drew It's reaching out. Go ahead.

1:30:25 Adam Okay. I cracked it.

1:30:28 Drew You cracked your penis.

1:30:29 Adam I did the crack.

1:30:29 Adam Scott You cracked it?

1:30:30 Adam It had been many years since I've cracked it, and I actually did the crack.

1:30:33 Adam Scott What's the crack?

1:30:35 Drew The suspense you like about the penis, which I can show you in this book if you want.

1:30:38 Adam Well, I can show it.

1:30:39 Drew But it can crack like any other ligament.

1:30:44 Adam Yeah.

1:30:45 Adam Scott Like a knuckle?

1:30:46 Adam Yeah. Never done that?

1:30:47 Adam Scott No.

1:30:48 Adam Do it for Naomi. She'll get it. I mean, she loves it. I mean, I would imagine. Just do it.

1:30:55 Adam Scott I'll get quite a response you're saying.

1:30:57 Adam Yes.

1:30:57 Adam Scott You already know that.

1:30:58 Adam Yes. I feel it. A man has a feeling about these things. Yeah. You will get a crack. If you get a good one going, you will get a crack.

1:31:07 Adam Scott But it has to be like reaching for the sun, boner.

1:31:11 Adam Yes.

1:31:12 Adam Scott Reaching for the heavens.

1:31:13 Adam Yearning to be free kind of thing. Drew has now pulled out the picture book. This is some of the best radio he does, by the way.

1:31:21 Adam Scott This is the part that cracks right there.

1:31:23 Adam That's Adam pointing at a picture, the tourist pointing at it.

1:31:26 Adam Scott Now, this is an enormous penis.

1:31:28 Drew That's huge. This is basically your anus.

1:31:30 Adam Scott Well, that's not my anus.

1:31:32 Adam Adam, let me give you a little tip, by the way. I mentioned this in a while. Sure. Drew, in terms of measuring the penis, as you know, I believe the proper way to measure the penis is from the center of the anus to just pass the tip. That's the way I do it.

1:31:50 Drew And he gets five and a quarter. So, okay, let's take a break.

1:31:55 Adam Yeah, really. Five and five sixteenths is now five and a quarter. Since when? Genius. How dare you. Let's take a break. Do you find that picture of the nail going into the guy's chin, Chris?

1:32:07 Caller Not the picture, but I found the story.

1:32:08 Caller It happened like three days ago.

1:32:10 Adam All right, buddy. How many? Three and a half? How big was the nail? Yeah. Okay.

1:32:16 Adam Scott Chris, I have a picture of a penis that goes all the way to an anus.

1:32:19 Adam There's a drawing. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Get it on. I'll tell you what, boy. Got to get it on. Really have no choice but to get it on, yes, Drew?

1:32:44 Drew You have no choice.

1:32:45 Adam Drew found the nail in the head story, by the way.

1:32:48 Drew Chris found it.

1:32:49 Adam Chris found it.

1:32:49 Drew Yeah.

1:32:50 Adam Engineer Chris.

1:32:53 Caller Thank you, thank you.

1:32:54 Adam What can't he do? Well, there's only 13 minutes left to shut. We won't get into that because it's going to take two shows of this. But the point is, is he found it, and the nail did go in the guy's head. And it was there for a little while, right? Yes, yes.

1:33:07 Drew A couple of days.

1:33:08 Adam A couple of days.

1:33:08 Drew Two nails shot out. One shot across the room, and the other went into his head.

1:33:13 Adam 16 penny inch, yes. It's three and a half inch nail in your head, and you don't notice for a few days.

1:33:19 Adam Scott We could all have 16 penny inch nails in our heads right now, and we wouldn't know it.

1:33:23 Adam Yeah.

1:33:24 Drew DNJ.

1:33:25 Adam Well, what is that?

1:33:26 Drew Definitely not Jewish.

1:33:28 Adam Definitely not Jewish. Not at you. Can't be at you. All right. Drew, I want to talk to some people who have been on hold for a million years. Like this guy is on hold for 101 minutes. For the love of Christ. Adrian.

1:33:41 Hey, what's up, Adam? Oh my gosh. Love you on Rachel Ray on Food Network.

1:33:46 Adam Is that on?

1:33:48 Caller I already saw it.

1:33:49 I have Tevo.

1:33:51 Adam I thought it was coming on on Friday.

1:33:53 Drew That's what I heard, too.

1:33:54 Adam How was that? I was I was high as a kite on Bikini. I got it. I just got my hernia surgery.

1:34:01 Drew Oh, my God.

1:34:02 Adam I got my hernia surgery at five in the afternoon one night. The following morning, I was doing this interview in this restaurant. I had eight Vicodin in me and then we started drinking wine. I don't remember a thing. Was I fabulous, Adrian?

1:34:19 You were you, Adam. I love you to death and on top of that, I love you on the comedy show. You may call me a suck up, but you know what the funny thing is though? I watched that new comedy special show with you as a pig.

1:34:32 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:34:33 You as a pig, unibrow and defecating in a fruit is just like you pissing at the bathroom sink.

1:34:39 Adam Yeah. Thank you. And by the way, people say I urinate in bathroom sinks. Uh-uh. All sinks.

1:34:46 Adam Scott Kitchen sinks.

1:34:46 Drew Kitchen sinks, sinks out in people's yards.

1:34:48 Adam Sink holes.

1:34:49 Drew Sink holes.

1:34:50 Adam During the recent rains. I didn't win any popularity contests when I went to some of the slide areas and began urinating. So it was a bad photo op. Yeah, publicists hated it, but what are you going to do? I urinate in sinks.

1:35:05 Keeping it real.

1:35:05 Adam Keeping it real. All right, Adrian, what's up?

1:35:08 All right, I have penis piercings. And I've had them for a while. And Dr. Drew, is there any long-term effects of having penis piercings?

1:35:20 Drew I don't know that there's any particular additive effect of keeping them in.

1:35:26 Adam Well, what about all the historical greats that had like the C-Rings and the Prince Albert's and the barbells going through their joints?

1:35:34 Adam Scott Alexander Hamilton had one.

1:35:35 Adam Hamilton had one, I believe.

1:35:37 Aaron Burr.

1:35:38 Adam Burr had one. I think that's what the dispute was. I mean, the list goes on and on. Orson Welles. Orson Welles. Kavett, I believe, had one. What about it, Drew?

1:35:54 Caller I don't have him going through the muscle. I have him actually going through the surface.

1:35:59 Caller I just think it's fashion.

1:36:01 Adam A fair butler had one.

1:36:05 Adam Scott I want to now watch that show again.

1:36:09 Adam Adrian, what?

1:36:09 Drew The piercing.

1:36:10 Adam All right, Drew. Look, first off, you can't say what are the long-term effects of anything at 18.

1:36:15 Drew Well, here's the deal. There are effects of having piercing. People can have erectile difficulty. People can get infections. People can have distortions of the penis. All kinds of things can happen. But I don't think that by leaving a piercing in, you necessarily compound your risk. In other words, just having it is risk enough. Leaving it in, I've not noticed that it really makes that much more difference to you. Unless you have active discharge from it.

1:36:39 Adam And now I got to talk about Family Fair for a second. You want to talk about a bummer.

1:36:44 Drew Well isn't, isn't.

1:36:45 Adam That sitcom, first of all. Is it fair to even call that a sitcom? It's such a bummer.

1:36:49 Drew Isn't Paris Hilton's mom.

1:36:52 Adam I don't know.

1:36:53 Drew Wasn't that someone on the show? She was the older daughter maybe or something.

1:36:56 Adam No, no. She wasn't sissy. All I remember, here's every, here was every. Here was every. You don't know anything. No, she was not.

1:37:05 Drew Okay, I gotta look this up.

1:37:06 Adam Please get out of here with your crazy obsession.

1:37:08 Adam Scott I hate that show.

1:37:10 Adam You should. But here was every single episode of Family Affair. Uncle Bill, are we going to the circus this weekend? Uh, I gotta go to Tokyo on business.

1:37:21 Drew I know.

1:37:22 Adam Scott And then the two kids in their yellow sweaters were like running around.

1:37:25 Adam And they just stood there disappointed while Uncle Bill left town again. And he, Brian Keith was just the biggest bummer. Drew, go look that up, Weisenheimer.

1:37:34 Adam Scott I bet they're gonna make that into a movie in the next six months.

1:37:37 Adam By, by the way, the chick killed herself. That's how big a bummer it is. As, Eric, you want to know what a bummer it is? Two cast members killed themselves.

1:37:45 Drew Who did? I know the boy did.

1:37:47 Adam No, the girl killed herself. Drew, how, how do you screw up so often?

1:37:51 Drew What did I say?

1:37:52 Adam You said the boy did.

1:37:53 Drew I did.

1:37:54 Adam Right. No, he didn't kill himself.

1:37:55 Adam Scott But who's the other person? Dude, Brian, Brian Keith did.

1:37:58 Adam Brian Keith killed himself.

1:37:59 Adam Scott Oh, that's true.

1:37:59 Adam Yeah.

1:38:00 Adam Scott He did?

1:38:00 Adam Yeah. Later in life. And by the way, you kill yourself in your 70s. It shouldn't count.

1:38:06 Adam Scott Yeah.

1:38:06 Adam I mean, you know, like if you kill yourself, they don't let you into heaven. I say if you're 75, you got ID, you kill yourself. Sort of like, well, heaven first floor.

1:38:16 Adam Scott Right.

1:38:16 Adam You're not going. You're not going.

1:38:17 Adam Scott It's like getting a parking validation.

1:38:19 Adam Yeah. You're not going to the club club floor, but we'll let you in.

1:38:22 Adam Scott Absolutely.

1:38:23 Adam Yeah. You kill yourself at 15. You're going to hell.

1:38:25 Adam Scott Yeah.

1:38:26 Adam Yeah. You kill yourself at 75.

1:38:28 Adam Scott It's probably good reason at that point. Yeah.

1:38:31 Adam Well, at least you thought about it.

1:38:32 Adam Scott Yeah. You gave it a good 75 years.

1:38:35 Adam Yeah. It's like I was going to kill myself in 1941, but I wrote it out a few more years. Now I'm going to eat a bullet at 75. All right, Drew, if you forgot anything to do with Paris Hilton, by the way.

1:38:46 Drew Almost there.

1:38:47 Adam Scott I just remade Family Affair. That was like I was so young. It was before I was able to change the channels, or have any sort of say in what we would watch.

1:38:54 Adam Yeah.

1:38:54 Adam Scott There's an endless purgatory of that in Little House on the Prairie.

1:38:57 Adam I could have changed the channels if I had a pair of vice scripts. Our family had that white trash TV where the thing stamps off, and then you got to put the vice scripts on there. That's great. Change that. What do you got, Drew? Hold on. Drew's got nothing. We're going to take ourselves a little break. I'm going to talk to, let's see, someone who's been on hold. 56 minutes. Oh, Naomi. Not your Naomi. Naomi?

1:39:17 Drew Family Affair. There she is.

1:39:20 Adam 18.

1:39:20 Drew This is Paris Hilton's mother. Yes.

1:39:24 Adam But that's not the girl.

1:39:25 Drew Let me see who it is.

1:39:26 Adam It's not Buffy either. Keep going. Go ahead, Naomi. You're 18. Your boyfriend's sperm burns you.

1:39:36 Caller Yes.

1:39:36 Adam You've got to get like some shop goggles or something.

1:39:39 Drew No, not her eyes.

1:39:40 Adam No, you're saying your eyes, right?

1:39:42 Caller What?

1:39:42 Adam You always wear eye protection. Andy, I wear ear protection, too, but that's, you know, because, you know, my ladies are groaning. But, no, it burns you when it touches your skin?

1:39:55 Caller No, no, no, no. When it's inside.

1:39:58 Adam Inside you?

1:39:59 Caller When it's inside me.

1:40:00 Adam Okay, I see.

1:40:01 Caller It burns for like, for half an hour.

1:40:05 Adam Well, you've got to spit it out.

1:40:06 Drew So that's why she played sissy.

1:40:08 Caller All right.

1:40:08 Adam Hold on a second.

1:40:09 Caller Wait a minute.

1:40:10 Adam I'm all over the place. What about it, Drew? Can you be alert?

1:40:13 Drew We can be, but it's usually not that. It's usually that she has other sort of vaginal infection or vaginitis, and it's just something coming in there that's not usually there causes some more irritation.

1:40:22 Adam Paris Hilton's mom is sissy from Family Affair.

1:40:26 Drew It's best I can put it together here. All right.

1:40:27 Adam I'm going to apologize for now, but then later on I'm going to be angry when I find out you're wrong.

1:40:32 Drew It's not the case. All right.

1:40:33 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:40:53 Drew So I'm staying corrected on Priscilla's mom. She paired Carol in Family Affair. Who was not really on Family Affair.

1:41:00 Adam She showed up once. All right. Drew, who's right?

1:41:03 Drew You're right.

1:41:04 Adam All right. I'm going to-

1:41:05 Drew By the way, by the way, I trust your instinct so much is why I kept looking.

1:41:08 Adam Thank you. That's right. I mean, after I yelled at you to go look.

1:41:12 Drew All right.

1:41:12 Adam Let me let me give my impersonation of Uncle Bill.

1:41:15 Caller You're right.

1:41:20 Adam I got some clients coming in.

1:41:22 Caller Bill, Bill, will you take us to the park? Will you take us to the park?

1:41:26 Adam I'm glad I got to talk to you a bit. Can I get a big red ball?

1:41:30 Adam Scott Can I get a big red ball?

1:41:31 Adam I'll pull your pants down.

1:41:32 Adam Scott I can't sweat it.

1:41:34 Caller All right. Here we go.

1:41:35 Adam Adam Scott. I'll rape you with a Jack Daniels. Here we go.

1:41:38 Caller Adam Scott, everybody.

1:41:39 Adam Aviator.

1:41:41 Caller All right.

1:41:41 Adam Thanks, guys. Come back when all those other movies come out.

1:41:44 Adam Scott Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.

1:41:46 Adam Our pleasure. Until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo. Yeah. You know what I had the other day? I had such a good boner.

1:41:57 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:42:01 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station.

1:42:09 Caller The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:42:12 Caller Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, January 18, 2005