Episode 1000673488580

1:27 Adam Well, we have a lot of people here tonight, from Life Is We Know It, or Sean had to sit here and hear me scream for only about four and a half minutes.

1:36 Sean Faris That was all right, it was entertaining.

1:38 Drew Well, Adam, the deal is, I don't know any guest that hasn't had to sit there and listen to you rant before the show starts. Usually, you were here 30 seconds before the show starts, so they only hear 30 seconds. Tonight, you were here four and a half minutes before the show started. So, Sean had to hear all four and a half minutes.

1:54 Adam Yeah, I mean, I got here super early.

1:56 Drew But it was very productive, four and a half minutes, wouldn't you say? We got a lot to talk about the show.

2:01 Sean Faris We got through quite a bit. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

2:03 Adam I covered a lot of ground. I mean, we got a lot of material out there. I don't know if we worked out some of the beats of tonight's show. We got into some tomorrow night. Drew got the dry erase board. Before every show, there's a show meeting.

2:15 Drew By the way, speaking of show meetings, I'm getting intense feedback in my headphones. I know you're getting that.

2:20 Adam I'm getting marginal to irritating feedback.

2:24 Drew Yeah, our voice muffled a tenth of a second behind.

2:27 Adam Really?

2:27 Drew A quarter second.

2:30 Adam All right.

2:30 Drew Just got rid of it.

2:31 Adam Wow.

2:32 Drew They just stopped. Thank you, Anderson.

2:34 Yeah.

2:35 Adam All right. Anderson did nothing. It's one of these things, by the way, where people normally hit the back of the ear. People normally want credit for fixing things, but not in the engineering world, because it means you had some potentiometer in the wrong place or some knob that wasn't turned or some switch that wasn't turned.

2:49 Drew Not only that, it might mean you have to move. Next time, there's a problem.

2:51 Adam You don't want to have to come on. No, it's just three quarters of the time something goes wrong. It's like, check the board, check the board. No, no, no, no. Oh, there we go. About to 26 now. All right, so this is horrible. What should we do? I can do it because I just keep talking.

3:09 Drew Yeah, let's go.

3:10 Adam All I do is hear my voice anyway.

3:12 Sean Faris Yeah, I can hear the echo.

3:13 Adam Sean.

3:14 Sean Faris Yes.

3:15 Adam What's happening, brother man?

3:16 Sean Faris Oh, not much. I'm just sitting here listening to your rant and rave.

3:19 Adam I'm done. It's now all going to be about you, unless you remind me of something I'm angry about. Life as We Know It, ABC, 8 o'clock, Kelly Osborne is on it. Who else is on that show besides Kelly?

3:31 Sean Faris Quite a few people actually. John Foster, Chris Lowell, Missy Peregrine plays my girlfriend.

3:36 Adam Chris Lowell, but not Christopher Lowell.

3:39 Drew No.

3:40 Sean Faris No, I call him Chris. I mean, his parents may call him Christopher.

3:44 Adam No, not the bearded guy who's on the towel network that I discovered when we were on the road. The world's gayest man.

3:51 Drew Yes. Adam found him once when we were in Shreveport or something and he came with his towel on, running down the hall, demanded I turn my TV on immediately to see the gayest man in America.

4:02 Sean Faris Yeah, that's scary.

4:04 Adam Then he went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and saw the second gayest man in America shaving.

4:09 I can do it. You can do it. Look for the areas, fill that space, all right? The whole idea about creating focal points in your room is keeping your eye trained for those little details. It's those little details that make the home yours.

4:25 Adam It's awesome. You know what I've learned from Christopher Lowell? You can spend two weeks and $2,200 taking PVC pipe and creating faux bamboo, or you can actually just go buy some real bamboo. That's what I've learned. It costs $0.18 a linear foot. But yeah, taking a little putty, putting it around the thing that's spray-painting it, beige. And at the end, what do you got?

4:50 Drew Bamboo.

4:51 Adam Fake bamboo that melts if you put it next to a space eater. All right. Sean.

4:56 Sean Faris Yes.

4:57 Adam Let's see. What else? What do we got to plug? Smallville. No, these are just shows you've been on.

5:02 Sean Faris Yeah, you don't need to plug any of that stuff.

5:04 Drew That's just a show.

5:05 Adam Life is we know it. Why should our audience go out and watch Life is We Know It? I'm sure most of them do already, but it's small handful that don't. Why should they do it beside you?

5:15 Sean Faris It's definitely the most real drama for teenagers on TV today and probably in the last five years. A lot of people have compared the show to My So-Called Life. Right. They suffer with three guys. It's a great thing because you get to see what really goes on in the guy's head. We all go through life playing the role and this and that, but then you never see the insecure sides or the questioning sides or the emotional side. You get to see that in our show whenever the guys have a private moment to camera.

5:46 Adam Did you come out to LA when you're 18? How old are you now?

5:51 Sean Faris I am 22.

5:52 Adam I thought you said 18 and a half. And you came out to act? Yeah.

5:56 Sean Faris I moved out to act and it wasn't an easy ride, but you know, here I am now.

6:00 Adam The actual ride from Ohio to LA or actually?

6:03 Drew No, the actual ride. I said the ride.

6:05 Sean Faris The actual ride from Ohio to LA was actually quite fun.

6:08 Adam And when you got out here, did anything good like, did you have $18 in your pocket? Did you come out here alone? Did you come out with your family?

6:16 Sean Faris Actually, my best friend drove across the country with me and then flew back three days later because he absolutely hated LA.

6:25 Drew He gave it a good three day try.

6:27 Sean Faris Yeah, he was from a smaller city and I think it was a little bit of culture shock for him. But he couldn't take it. It was too much. Yeah. So I bought him a plane ticket.

6:34 Adam If you drive from Ohio, how do you even know when you're in LA? You just stop at a gas station, some guys are like, I must be in Sri Lanka or something. Then you're in Mexico, then you're in Japan. I even know when you're in Los Angeles.

6:49 Sean Faris Whenever you hit the traffic, that's how you know you're in LA.

6:51 Drew You hit the traffic in Las Vegas.

6:55 Adam It's got to be a culture shock. He was from Ohio, he was from Ohio too. Now what's he doing now?

7:00 Sean Faris He's still in Ohio, just doing his thing, he's a painter.

7:02 Adam Let's get him on the show.

7:04 Sean Faris Let's do it.

7:05 Adam So you came out 18, you get an apartment, what do you do?

7:09 Sean Faris Yeah, I came out, I got an apartment. It was really hard to find an apartment too because no one would rent to me, I had no credit. I had some money for an apartment, but I didn't have any credit history, I was too young, out of state co-signers because all of my family was from out of California.

7:25 Adam Did you get a job?

7:26 Sean Faris Actually, I was quite lucky. My first week here, I got a small part in Pearl Harbor.

7:33 Adam You're in Pearl Harbor? Wait, which one were you?

7:38 Sean Faris I was the one that stood next to everybody on all the big scenes.

7:41 Drew You do look familiar. That's in number four.

7:43 Adam Yeah, down like out on the tarmac at the airfield and that kind of stuff?

7:49 Sean Faris Yeah, I was actually, I was a part of Josh Hartnett's crew.

7:52 Adam Okay, guys.

7:53 Sean Faris In his airplane.

7:54 That was cool.

7:56 Adam If anyone ever sees the original Pearl Harbor, maybe it's Tor Tor Tor. Yeah, well anyway, the original movie, it's incredible stunt. You ever seen it, Drew?

8:05 Drew Tor Tor Tor?

8:06 Adam Yeah.

8:06 Drew A long time ago.

8:07 Adam It's crazy stunts and you just start to realize as you start watching back then, like 1972, they didn't have strong unions and there's no like OSHA or anything.

8:17 There was no liability.

8:19 Adam Half the stunts were, I don't know if you saw the original, I think it was Tor Tor Tor, was it? Obviously, someone put a cinder block on the accelerator, some scrapped P-40 and just let it sail into a pyramid of gas cans. Guys are just running but stuff's flying. I mean, it's like, look, hang out here until it looks like the plane gets too close when it gets about 30 feet away, start running, and hopefully a bear, a 55-gallon drum, won't hit you.

8:49 Drew There was no such thing as CGI.

8:51 Adam There was no such thing as CGI. There were no unions and it's like, look, you want to make 100 bucks? Come here, put this uniform on and stand by these barrels, but don't chicken out on us. We can't have you running before the plane's got to get close.

9:04 Drew All right, first run this 40. Here you go.

9:06 Sean Faris Time them out real quick.

9:07 Adam Four and nine, not bad. All right, no movement until you hear metal on metal or you see flame or you feel flame. Then you move. You watch that movie. It's all the stuff that's going on at the time. The new one is spectacular as well. When I say new, the three-year-old one is spectacular, but the old one, people running and props, spinning like flying by and stuff like that. No, they didn't play in that. It's not on a cable or anything. It's just, you know, catch is catch can, as they say. People were expendable back then, wasn't it a big deal?

9:37 Drew Until that actor got cut in half.

9:39 Vic Moro.

9:39 Sean Faris Oh yeah, that was a helicopter accident, wasn't it?

9:42 Adam Yeah, that's when they decided, they had us on Twilight Zone.

9:46 All right.

9:46 Drew All right, take some calls.

9:47 Adam Let's take some calls. Wow, first week, you're doing Pearl Harbor.

9:52 Sean Faris Yeah, I was pretty lucky, man.

9:53 Adam That's not luck.

9:55 Drew Talent.

9:56 Adam That's, you know, that's, he's, deal with the devil.

9:59 Oh, right.

10:00 Adam He's doing luck. He's sold his soul. So you're just going to Hawaii. So you're in LA for a week. You get the gig and then they shoot. They shot a lot of it in Hawaii. That's what I got. Pearl Harbor. What do you think? It's in Long Beach.

10:10 Drew Well, I didn't figure they'd.

10:12 Adam Come on, quiet down.

10:13 Sean Faris Actually, they had already started filming. They were like a year into filming whenever I got onto the project.

10:18 Drew Really?

10:18 Sean Faris Yeah. They shot for two years.

10:20 Adam Please say you went to Hawaii. No, I didn't get to go to Hawaii.

10:22 Drew Are you kidding me? What city?

10:24 Sean Faris I shot, well, I shot in Houston, Texas.

10:26 Drew Houston.

10:27 Sean Faris They shot at the Battleship, Texas in Houston. And then we also shot in Corpus Christi on the Lexington. It's a huge aircraft carrier. That was dope.

10:37 Adam But you weren't, were you on the airfield?

10:40 Sean Faris Yeah, we just shot at Van IJzerfield here in California.

10:42 Drew Hey, Van IJzerfield. You're right, not Long Beach.

10:45 Adam Hey, listen, you know, YMA and Van IJzerfield, it's like the same place. Same place.

10:54 Drew By the way, how do you know when you're at the airport at Van IJzerfield? It's all asphalt, concrete.

10:58 Adam Well, it's true, but it's like, well, I guess some of the shots they had, like flying over and stuff like that.

11:03 Sean Faris Yeah, that was fun, man. That was cool, though.

11:05 Adam Were you flying?

11:06 Sean Faris No, I didn't get to fly with them, but they had flybys where the planes flew over like maybe 20 feet above us. And they were saying that that's the only time that they will ever fly again. Those P-40s. So we were the last ones to ever see those planes up in the air because they pulled them straight out of museums.

11:22 Adam On the deck, they call it, on the deck.

11:25 Sean Faris I was actually, I was actually a tail gunner in the movie and I had to play with these broomsticks in the back. They had fake little broomsticks for me to play.

11:32 Adam And I'm black. Yeah. You know else painted those broomsticks black? Little guy by the name of Doolittle who took those first bomb, bombing over Tokyo.

11:42 Sean Faris Well, that was the Doolittle Raiders. That's what we were.

11:44 Adam Well, there you go, Drew. Do you understand? We took, they took bombers off an aircraft carrier like just a year into the war. Maybe not even a year in the war. Do you know this story?

11:56 Drew No, I don't know this story.

11:57 Adam Everyone should know this story, you pussies.

11:59 Drew Tell it to me.

11:59 Adam All right. Here's what happens. You stop me from wrong. Okay. The Japs, as we knew them back then, bomb Pearl Harbor. We got our fleet wiped out, but of course we got our carriers are out at sea. So we save our carriers, but we're in really bad shape. We've not been ramping up for this war at all. Our fleet's wiped out. We're pretty bad. We need to do something for morale. We need to strike Japan. But we don't really have any way to get to them. So Doolittle, who was a pilot and commander, and then later on, I don't know, Brigadier General or something, he had an amazing career, this guy. But he gets some B-29s. You know, not B-47 type of plane, but like a B-29 or something like medium size bomber. But no one has ever taken them off an aircraft carrier before. The whole aircraft carrier thing is relatively new, and it's just a smaller fighter plane to take off. So they do these tests where they lighten them, and they take out the tail guns and stuff, and they put broomsticks in there. So they think the Japs, they think they're guns back there. There's broomsticks in there. They lighten them, they do these tests to see if they can get off the ground in 200 feet or wherever they got to work. They figure out they can just do it, but they don't have enough fuel to get back and stuff. So they're going to take like, I don't know, a squadron of these things off just to symbolically drop bombs on Tokyo. So we can say to the Americans, we bombed them now. We can get to them even if it wasn't really going to cause any damage. We didn't have enough ammunition in these little planes, and the range wasn't good enough. So they're driving the carrier in in the Pacific, and all of a sudden they get spotted by some spotter plane or something, and they're 300 miles further out than they need to be before takeoff. But they figure, we got to take off now because he's going to radio back, but now they're too far. So they take off, they drop their bombs in Japan, they're going to like, they have to ditch in like China, and half the guys get like executed, and half the guys make it back, Doolittle makes it back, but essentially suicide mission. I mean, probably someone could do a full-length feature on that whole story. Doolittle makes it out, everyone has to ditch their planes, everyone runs out of gas, no one's got enough to make it back, and I don't think they could land those B-29s or B-18s or whatever the hell, B-19s, whatever they will, on a carrier anyway. So they all ditch, some guys get like executed, some guys die in the crash, and like half the guys or three-quarters of the guys make it out. Am I right, Sean?

14:37 Sean Faris It sounds to me like you watched Pearl Harbor right before you came over.

14:40 Drew I did. I watched the History Channel, or Hitler Channel as we call it.

14:43 Sean Faris That's pretty, that's word for word, that's exactly the way it was.

14:46 Drew Yeah. Time for commercial?

14:48 Adam No. Almost. Come on, buddy. That's a do-little, right?

14:52 Drew I know, I know. It's good.

14:53 Adam A guy comes back, then he becomes like a racist. There's a guy who's probably an alcoholic right there.

14:58 Oh, sure.

14:59 Drew Oh, yes.

15:00 Adam But an American, do you hear me?

15:02 Yeah.

15:03 Adam Tyler?

15:04 Yeah.

15:05 Adam You're 25?

15:07 Caller Yes, sir.

15:08 What's up?

15:09 Caller Well, here's the deal. I've been with the same girl for about 10 years now. And we're all but married. We live together. She basically the situation is if she's going to college, she's about ready to graduate, I've hit and missed with some courses and really have never found anything I really like or really want to do. Both her family and mine.

15:34 Adam Let me tell you about the Baton de France.

15:35 Drew No, no, no, no, no. It's okay.

15:36 Adam Oh, man. They had to build that bridge over the River Kwai. You know what I'm saying, Drew?

15:41 Drew I hear you. I've seen that movie, too.

15:43 Adam Okay. All right. Sorry, Tyler.

15:47 Caller No, that's cool. Basically, I guess, instead of beating around the bush, pretty much what I'm getting at is neither one of our families have gone to college. I really just don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. If I don't get into school, she's just going to dump me, just leave me.

16:01 Drew Now, it's hard to... One thing about being a married couple is you have to appreciate the world the same way, have a similar understanding of the world, and have to be able to share ideas and things. If she is well beyond you academically, it may be uncomfortable. She may be resentful and frustrated. She may have different expectations of her life script as compared to yours. What does she wants to do and wants her husband to be doing, the kind of family she wants to raise.

16:30 Caller I can understand that. I guess the biggest deal is that, is that normal for a family who doesn't go to school, and then all of a sudden, I've been to college. Like I said, I've taken some courses, nothing major. I just really can't make up my mind.

16:43 Drew What kind of college would you go to?

16:45 Adam Who cares?

16:46 Drew If you went to junior college, it's not college.

16:48 Adam No. It's college. Here would be my policy if I ran a university. I'd be like, you've done two years of junior college? Well, now you got to do six years.

16:58 Drew Yeah. For every year of college.

16:59 Adam If you've never done any junior college, I would have let you do four. You get your degree in four. Now it's six. Now let me do the math. My mom's done 33 years of junior college. Well, she'd be dead before she ever got her four-year degree. But that two years shouldn't count as two years. It should be added on to your time. Like an escape attempt in the joint. You know what I mean? It's added on. I would look at junior colleges like a warden. I'd say, oh, I added on. That's bad behavior. Been fighting in the yard. Tyler?

17:27 Caller Yeah. So I guess the deal is-

17:29 Adam Quiet down. Listen to me. Oh, he cussed?

17:32 Drew Yeah, he said, Se College, S College.

17:36 Adam Oh, he did? Right when he came back?

17:38 Drew No, just before.

17:39 Adam Oh, I didn't even hear him. Too busy yelling. Okay, here's the thing. College isn't for everybody. And if you're just going there poking around, and being a student isn't for everybody.

17:50 Drew But that's not what this woman's looking for, I suspect. Either she wants to be married to a certain kind of person, or have a certain kind of family, or to be able to share a certain way with someone. And it may not be Tyler.

18:00 Adam But Sean doesn't have a college degree, but she'd be on top of him. Like it is split. No, women are attracted to guys who are doing their thing.

18:10 Drew You look, you don't... Competency is something they're into.

18:13 Adam Yeah, but being competent, but also moving in a direction.

18:18 Sean Faris Success and security.

18:19 Adam Yeah, the college part doesn't matter if you're opening your own restaurant, or you got your own clothing line that you're designing, or whatever, you're building mountain bikes. You know, they need to see playing bass guitar, whatever. They need to see somebody moving in a direction. When they see the guys sort of spinning around and just bumping off each wall and caroming back to another, that freaks them out. Because women feel like, look, this guy's got to protect, he's got to provide, he's got to do whatever. And I know it's 2005. Women still think that way.

18:53 Drew Well, they're still wired that way to be attracted to that.

18:55 Adam Thank you. Yes. Vogue and Cosmo have attempted to talk them out of it, but they're still wired that way. They do want a guy to stand up and go, listen, sweetie, it's cool. I'm going to handle it. Don't worry about it. You make the babies. I'm going to make the cash and then I'll be banging my secretary. Oh, no, don't say that part. That's the part. That's what I should see. I always keep going.

19:19 Drew Got to be careful.

19:19 Adam I got to stop right at cash. That's where I need to stop. The point is that I want to see someone wandering around. So forget about college and forget about that part where you go like, well, she just doesn't, she wants to cut. No, she wants you to want to know what you want to do. She wants you to make a move. She wants you to do something. You're 25. It's time to go.

19:40 Drew We want you to also, by the way.

19:41 Adam Yeah. So if it's not college, fine. Figure it out.

19:45 Drew Make a move. And realize she may have a thing about education. It's possible.

19:49 Adam Yeah. You got to think about education, right?

19:51 Drew Yes.

19:51 Adam You do. But how do you? But I'm smarter than you. How does that work?

19:55 Drew Yeah, but smart and different things.

19:57 Sean Faris Yeah.

19:58 Adam Second-case man alive. Admit it, I'm smarter than you are. Yeah. But what it means, you and I would be fine. I got put on academic probation at junior college.

20:07 Drew But if you were married, I could understand. But you sort of educate yourself.

20:11 Adam I get to be the dude.

20:12 Drew Yeah.

20:13 Adam Right. No. If we were married, I'd be telling you the do-little story when we were humping.

20:18 Drew Exactly.

20:18 Adam All right.

20:22 Drew, are you listening?

20:23 Adam Heads banging against the headboard. Drew, listen to me. Just do a little.

20:28 Drew They ditched the plane.

20:30 Adam They ditched in Nankuk, in Bak Choy.

20:37 Sean Faris All right.

20:38 Drew Now, this next call is distressing. Really? I think I blame you, Adam. Go ahead, Catherine. Here we go.

20:44 Adam All right. Catherine. Hey, you're 29.

20:47 Drew Yes. This is an irony that has not escaped me. I can't deal with it.

20:52 It's the universe is conspiring against me to ever listen to you guys again. I started listening to you guys in the late 90s in Austin, Texas, and I'm visiting my sister in Washington, DC and I've been listening to you guys for the last several nights. Tonight, I turned on the radio about 20 past 10, and I thought you were playing the Ranchero game, the Ranchero game, because the affiliate is now a Ranchero station.

21:14 Adam Really?

21:15 Drew WHFS has gone.

21:16 Changed at noon today.

21:18 Drew All Mexican Ranchero.

21:20 Adam No, it has not.

21:22 Drew Oh, yes it has.

21:23 Adam No, it has not.

21:23 Yes, it has.

21:24 Drew Adam.

21:25 Adam WHFS is like one of the biggest alternative stations ever.

21:29 And they're blaming you, Carolla, for starting the new trend.

21:31 Drew As God is my witness. Gone at noon today. You can't be serious. As God is my witness.

21:41 Adam WHFS is...

21:42 Drew As God is my witness. It's a great station. One of our favorite stations. Does not exist. We are off. And they are off. Lisa Wharton, not director of anywhere. Those liners we did last night.

21:55 Adam The liners for them last night.

21:56 Drew Duke and Orgasm.

21:57 Adam Fat Boy, yeah. Whoever, yeah. Are you kidding me?

22:02 Drew Gone.

22:02 Adam What happened?

22:03 Drew They're gone. This is radio business.

22:06 Adam Well, let's look at it this way. What... I mean the fastest growing population in this country is Latin, right? Latino, right? And if there's, you know, if you got a radio station and you got 35, you know, gringo stations battling out for your little piece of the pie, and there's one Mexican station...

22:26 Drew Somebody wants to buy you and you're the first one in line. Look, look, she's got an online now.

22:30 Adam Fire up the recording.

22:31 I know. I went to wyadayada.com and it's Spanish now. It directed me to something in Spanish.

22:38 Adam Yeah.

22:39 LZLZOLE.

22:40 Adam This is a bad sign. Yeah. And by the way, Ranchero Music, I really am going to...

22:46 Drew I'm going to sackrace himself for this. Is that why he went to the Pacific?

22:50 Adam Do Little ditched his B-29 in Bacchoy so you guys could listen to a horrible accordion-driven music. I swear to God, these people have some sort of gene that doesn't let...

23:08 Drew But this again, again.

23:11 Adam There's some sort of gene that's built into Mexican that doesn't... Here's the deal. If you pump this in to the music, if you put a bunch of blue-eyed people in the room and pump this in and just left a number two pencil in the middle of it, you'll come back an hour later, it'll be blood all over the place. It's like an artery stab. It'd be like a Tarantino movie. It'd just be a pile of bodies when you came back.

23:34 Drew I mean, when I hear that music, I just shut my eyes. I immediately think of the Lincoln Memorial in the mall in the winter before the cap in the building off in the distance. Immediately the music that brings out those images.

23:46 Adam I mean, honestly, the whole Kennedy family. I mean, when you picture like Camelot, play that music. I think this is the theme song to their lives. This is what you picture in the background. You see the Lincoln Memorial.

24:06 Listen.

24:11 Adam You did it.

24:11 Let's stop for a second.

24:13 Drew Because some other station might convert.

24:15 Adam So you really think that Aces, Sean, we play a little game called Aces Mexican Ranchero Accordion Countdown on the show where we fire up a ranchero song and then guess how many seconds before the accordion fires in. You think that doing this over the last few months.

24:33 Drew Sway the populace of DC.

24:35 Adam Wow.

24:36 Drew The president himself I heard was, it's all the rage.

24:39 Adam WHFS.

24:40 Drew I know. Today makes me very sad.

24:43 Adam Wow.

24:43 Drew Sad. Hey, we got to take a quick call here just before we go to break. We have somebody on the line who's wanting to talk to Sean.

24:50 Adam Eva? Did she hang up?

24:54 Sean Faris Can't make her wait.

24:55 Adam Eva Longoria from Desperate Housewives. Eva?

25:00 Sean Faris I don't know. She hung up.

25:02 Adam Did she hang up?

25:03 Drew I guess.

25:04 Sean Faris She's a busy woman.

25:05 Adam How do you know Eva Longoria?

25:07 Sean Faris She's a good friend of mine.

25:08 Adam Wow. She's the young one from Desperate Housewives, right? She's hot. You guys dating?

25:13 Sean Faris No.

25:14 Adam Something.

25:14 Sean Faris Nah, she's just a close friend.

25:15 Adam You can't be friends with really good looking women.

25:18 Why not?

25:19 Drew Oh, Sean.

25:20 Adam Oh, did you hear that?

25:21 Drew Yeah.

25:21 Why not?

25:23 Adam Oh, man. Lying.

25:25 Drew That was for the radio.

25:26 Adam That was for the radio. Yeah. Sean Faris is here tonight. Yeah. You know what we got? We got an Aston Kutcher type scene going on here. A little older, dark haired woman, beautiful young male. He looks like Ashton, doesn't he?

25:39 Sean Faris Not too much.

25:40 Adam No, let's just take Drew's the second case man alive. He knows. I know. Sean Faris is here tonight from Life As We Know It. All right, we got to take a break. We'll hopefully talk to Eva. Really? Okay, one more time. Eva? No.

25:56 Drew You can call her.

25:57 Adam All right. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Yeah. What's happening? It's the Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Sean Faris is here. Tonight.

26:14 Sean Faris Hello, hello.

26:15 Adam Reeling over the format change of one of our oldest affiliates, WHFS in Washington, DC., one of the biggest. I would go out to that. One after the HF Festival. It was in RFK Stadium. Run out of initials soon. There's like 65,000 people there. Huge station.

26:36 Sean Faris I just find it hard to believe there's such a large Latin population in Washington.

26:40 Adam Well, maybe they're trying to attract some. I don't know why, but they're trying to attract them. Maybe they, what, Drew?

26:49 Drew What?

26:49 Adam Maybe they're trying to attract them.

26:51 Drew Bring them into DC.

26:52 Adam I really do think it's a numbers thing. If you have 30 white stations and three Latin stations, you'd be better to compete in that market. I just wonder why the signal is so strong. I know over here the signal is strong because it comes out of Tijuana and they don't have like FCC regulations on their amperage of the wattage of the whatever. But you're driving around, you can't get anything and pow, you get hit with some horns and a sombrero.

27:17 Pow.

27:18 Adam You ever do that?

27:19 Drew Oh yeah.

27:20 Adam Yeah, sorry, that was a stupid question. Well, maybe it's time to play Ace's Max in Ranchero According Countdown.

27:26 Drew If you want. Sure. Just to do an homage to HMS.

27:29 Adam Yeah. Sean Faris is here tonight from Life Is We Know It, 8 o'clock on ABC Thursday nights. That's tomorrow night. This is how the game is played. Good ranchero music does not go on very long without an accordion. Question is, is we take a random ranchero song, yes. Michelle queues it up in a random spot too, not at the beginning per se, just fires up a random ranchero song in a random spot. How long? How many seconds before we hear that accordion kick in? Sean. Three.

28:02 Drew Three.

28:02 Adam Three.

28:02 Drew Good bet.

28:03 Adam Solid bet.

28:03 Drew Instant. Instantaneous.

28:04 Adam Smart. You're going instant.

28:06 Drew Yeah.

28:06 Adam All right. Drew is going instant. A lesser man would go four seconds. I'm going four and a half. Fair enough. No. I'm going five seconds. I'm going five seconds. All right. And we should make that rule. It's got to be a two second buffer. You got to put a second in between. All right. I got five. Sean's got three. Drew goes instant. All right. Five, four, three, two, one, go.

28:35 Drew Thank you.

28:37 Adam See how it's that instant?

28:40 Drew Oh yeah.

28:41 Sean Faris That was instantaneous.

28:43 Drew Oh yes.

28:44 Adam All right. All right.

28:45 Drew Couldn't hear it over Anderson screaming, but I'm sure it was there.

28:49 Adam And then come across that loud to me.

28:51 All right.

28:51 Adam So that was instant.

28:52 All right.

28:52 Adam So Drew wins. Shocking. Shocking. But then then the big the big riff came in about eight seconds or so. All right. Drew wins with instant. The coward's way. You're ready to go? Here we go. All right. Maybe we'll convert another affiliate before the night is through.

29:08 Drew Where we're going, maybe a few affiliates.

29:10 Adam Steve? Hello? Steve, hold on. Michelle, do you speak any Spanish?

29:19 No, but I can kind of understand it because my parents, they used to speak behind our backs and let me know what's up.

29:24 Adam Tell me what you've got for Christmas. Yeah. They say things like, this year for Christmas, I stop raping her.

29:35 Okay.

29:36 Adam Yeah. Now I know how it goes. Here's the point. I'm going to need a translator soon, and I'll just be sitting and go ranting. I was talking about left turn arrows and my grandmother, and having to translate it into little, and this guy was going long-winded rants about me, and then I'll have time to breathe. I'll just sit on a stool and drink Gatorade while he fills me in, although they speak faster and we do, Drew. So 10-minute rant is only going to be about four, four and a half minutes, but we'll work it out. Why can't they list to some provocative talk radio?

30:06 Sean Faris Sure.

30:07 Adam All right.

30:07 Sean Faris Yeah.

30:09 Adam Let me branch out. Who am I talking to? Steve? Steve.

30:15 Yeah. Hey, what's going on?

30:16 Adam You're 23. What's up?

30:18 Caller Ace man, checking in Chicago, 50 degrees.

30:23 Drew It is not 50 degrees in Chicago.

30:25 Caller Oh, yes, it is.

30:27 Drew 50 degrees.

30:27 Sean Faris They say 60 last week in New York.

30:29 Adam Yeah, they say New York might get up 70 or something. All right. There beer, buddy. What's going on?

30:39 Caller Nothing. I just, I don't know. I just I got back from Iraq about three weeks ago and I went to a psychiatrist and I'm going to a therapist and I'm going through some serious things because I saw some pretty terrible things over there.

31:01 Adam What did you see? People die? Friends die?

31:06 Caller Well, I was escorting a Humvee and there was about a 12 year old kid, I don't know, 10, 12, whatever. And he had a RPG pointed right at the Humvee and I killed him.

31:26 Adam Where were you?

31:28 Caller Where was I?

31:29 Adam Yeah, I mean, were you on the, were you say you were escorting a Humvee? What does that mean? Were you in a Humvee as well?

31:36 Caller No, no, I was one of the six guys surrounding it.

31:40 Adam So you're on foot?

31:42 Caller Yes.

31:43 Adam And you just, you shot him with an M16?

31:46 Caller Yeah, well, yeah, one in the forehead.

31:51 Adam All right, well, but the guy had an RPG, right? Yeah, but I mean, I mean, listen, no, no one wants to kill a ten-year-old, but, you know, better, better that than him pull out, you know, you're on the streets of Chicago, your company pulls out a squirt gun and you think it's a nine millimeter and you kill the kid.

32:09 Drew Which happens.

32:10 Adam Which, which happens. Oh, I mean, at least the guy had a rocket propelled grenade.

32:14 Caller Right, right. Yeah, I know.

32:16 Adam It's just, you should still be depressed. Don't get me wrong, but I mean, it's, as we say in the business, clean kill, good kill.

32:23 Drew But the other word, if he had shot it, you would have had 15 friends land dead, too.

32:27 Sean Faris Right, same are you.

32:28 Adam Right. Well, did you, did that turn out to be true? I mean, it wasn't, wasn't a cardboard tube on there with like a styrofoam grenade, right?

32:37 Caller It was real. We, we, after I killed the kid, I, well, not just me, but my whole squad went over and checked out and it was real.

32:50 Adam And was he, was he coming for you guys or was he going somewhere else?

32:55 Caller Well, he was, well, the only thing that was there was the Humvee and the Escort, my squad.

33:03 Adam Right.

33:03 Drew He was pointing at them.

33:04 Adam All right, so you did what you had to do. I mean, you can still be freaked out, but I don't, I, you know, emotionally killing 11-year-old sucks, but killing an innocent one sucks more, sucks much more, I would imagine. I'm not telling you you can't have feelings about it, but there's really enough, you had no alternative.

33:26 Drew How about displacing some of that anger onto the parents, send a kid out like that and encourage that kind of behavior? That's where your anger ought to be placed.

33:33 Caller Well, yeah, actually, Drew, I wanted to talk to you about that.

33:38 Drew Yeah.

33:39 Caller My psychiatrist put me on Depakote and Xanax XR.

33:45 Drew Yeah, we can hear the Xanax, that's why Adam mentioned the beer. You're slowed down, you're slowing your speech a little bit.

33:50 Adam Can I get some?

33:51 Drew I know you want Xanapods.

33:52 Adam I want Xanapods.

33:53 Drew Yeah. What about it, Steve?

33:59 Caller I still can't sleep. All I can see is my bullet going through that kid's head.

34:07 Adam That's tough. That's tough.

34:10 Drew Did you have previous trauma growing up, something else that set you up for all this?

34:15 Caller No. Actually, my parents are very wealthy, and they were very upset that I joined the Army, and I graduated from Northwestern about two years ago. I don't know. It's just-

34:36 Adam Well, look, here's the thing. All right. Let me just summarize everything here. First off, when you put a bullet through an 11-year-old three weeks ago or four weeks ago, whenever it is, you're not supposed to be over a year.

34:46 Drew Right. That's right.

34:47 Adam Secondly, your depression level oftentimes is connected to what's going on.

34:53 Drew Well, that's the point. People that have PTSD almost always have something we call a pre-morbid condition. Something sets them up to-

35:00 Adam You run in Microsoft and banging Heidi Klum, you don't go home and get as depressed as you normally would when you're just sitting around watching car commercials all day and drinking.

35:09 Drew There's some issue that was sort of un-dealt with growing up that sort of gets re-triggered by all this trauma. It's, you know, there's no problems.

35:16 Adam But also the guy is not doing anything now and it's time to start doing something.

35:23 Drew It's hard though when he's dealing with all this and it's slowed down by the sand and the like.

35:25 Adam It is, but, you know, look, you're supposed to be, I mean, I don't know if I'd want to hang out with a guy who was over killing an 11-year-old by that evening. By that evening.

35:34 Drew Yeah. Or how about the guy that did not feel like Steve does?

35:38 Adam Yeah, he was happy about it. Thought the kid had it coming. Yeah?

35:42 Drew Yeah.

35:42 Adam You want to hang out with that guy?

35:43 Drew No, I don't want to hang out with that guy.

35:45 Adam Okay. Which guy do you want to hang out with? Steve.

35:48 Drew Steve.

35:48 Adam Okay. Why don't we go on over there? All right. Steve, so, look, it's just time, it's therapy. Do what the doctors say and focus on trying to get your life going in the meantime. Start a relationship, start a career. These things all help in the depression department. And I haven't given the speech in a long time, Drew, but do some exercise, listen to some classical music, not ranchero.

36:11 Sean Faris Yeah. Get out, you know, you got to get out. If you sit around and just think about it, it's just going to be on your mind all the time. You're never going to let go of it.

36:17 Adam Yeah. It is, for those of us who've been depressed before, Drew, you've been depressed, yes. Did you have the feeling of having to sort of pry yourself out in, you know, it's like, here's what depression is. Depression is like having arthritis at age 23. That's what they call it. Your bones hurt, nothing works.

36:37 Drew You ache, everything hurts all the time, you can't sleep.

36:39 Adam You don't want to get up.

36:40 Drew Or you sleep too much. Yeah, the whole pain, very often generalized pain that doesn't have a organic basis to it is depression, very often.

36:46 Adam And it's not so much even pain, it just feels like someone replaced your innards with sand. And when somebody says, hey, let's get up, let's go to the park, let's throw the ball around, it's like, you feel like an 85 year old.

36:58 Drew I had the other, imagine this, I had the other kind of depression, agitated depression, anxiety, anxiety.

37:03 Adam Trying, driving everyone nuts.

37:05 Sean Faris Yeah. Just running around, getting into everything.

37:07 Adam Getting everyone's face, bothering everyone.

37:10 Drew No, not that.

37:11 Adam Banging the bejesus out of his ladies.

37:12 Drew No, not that.

37:13 Adam Oh, vengeance F.

37:14 Drew That came later.

37:15 Adam Painful, yeah. Removing skin. Difficult. Thank God he was a doctor. He could put that Bactin on her. The point is, eventually just started drinking it, you know, eliminating the middle step. Does that work? Okay, here's what I'm saying, Drew. A guy like Steve, he needs to move. He needs to get going. He needs to just pry himself out of them. He'll start looking for a job tomorrow. Jog. Put some headphones on and jog. Yeah?

37:41 Sean Faris Well, if he gets on with his life and starts moving around doing things, it'll kind of numb it.

37:48 Drew You won't think about it so much. And you might want to talk to a doctor about a medication called Seroquel, which might be better for you than the Xanax.

37:55 Adam Give me some of that.

37:56 Drew Yeah, I know.

37:56 Sean Faris It's better.

37:56 Adam About 330 last time.

37:58 Sean Faris You writing that down over there, Adam?

37:59 Adam Seroquel. Give me some of that.

38:01 Now, Seroquel, you'll gain weight.

38:03 Drew Oh, really?

38:03 Majorly.

38:04 Adam No, Michelle's got drugs.

38:05 Michelle gave me some.

38:06 Drew No, I was on Seroquel.

38:08 But it works. It totally was the one that worked for me.

38:11 Adam But you gain weight?

38:12 Like 40 pounds.

38:13 Drew Really?

38:14 Yeah.

38:14 Adam Wow.

38:15 It took me about a year to get rid of it.

38:16 Adam Wow.

38:17 Drew Well, then we put you on something called Topamax, which instead of the depa code, and that cuts the appetite.

38:21 Right.

38:22 Adam Topamax.

38:23 Sean Faris Yeah.

38:23 Drew Aren't you happy now you're learning all this? I've never seen you so into it. You're lit up about this.

38:28 Sean Faris What is it about putting people on pharmaceutical drugs though, and then putting them on other things to eliminate the side effects of it, and then putting them on more things to eliminate the side effects of those? I've never really understood that.

38:38 Adam About a little classical and some yoga.

38:40 Drew I'm all for that. But yeah, when you're the man, your desire is to make people uncomfortable and hurt them.

38:44 Adam Drew's trying to make money because he's in the hip pocket of the drug companies, man. Shooting golf all day. So do you put 40 pounds on because you eat more, and you retain water, or what do you do?

38:55 Drew It changes the hypothalamic conscience.

38:56 Adam It lowers your metabolism?

38:57 Drew No, it increases your appetite.

38:59 Adam Oh, it does?

38:59 Drew It's set to a different place.

39:00 Adam So you just get hungry?

39:01 Drew Hungry all the time, yeah.

39:02 Adam Wow. But you're sleeping 14 hours a day. You just feed your ribs while you sleep?

39:07 Drew It depends. You can take it just at night. You sleep only during the night. All right.

39:10 Adam All right. Grant me some of that. And those macadamia nuts. Let's get started. Sean Faris is here tonight from Life Is We Know It, 8 o'clock ABC, Thursday nights. We'll take a quick break. Eva Longoria called about 20 minutes ago, but she was on hold for like 35 seconds. She got PO'd and hung up. I think Sean must have called her during the break or something. You guys make up?

39:34 Sean Faris She is going to call back.

39:35 Adam She is. You guys are cool?

39:37 Sean Faris She's got until midnight.

39:38 Adam All right. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Sean Faris is here tonight. Life Is We Know It. Name of his show on ABC. 8 o'clock Thursday nights. Speaking of shows.

39:59 Sean Faris Tomorrow night.

40:00 Adam That's tomorrow night. You know what the bidding is for this show, Drew?

40:04 Drew For Loveline?

40:05 Adam Yeah. Now, here's the deal. We're doing a whole thing out here on K-Rock. And it's the krock.com, krock.com, kroq.com. You can reach it from anywhere in the country. And you can bid on many cool things.

40:19 Drew Well, let's set this up again. This is a tsunami relief fund, basically.

40:22 Adam Right.

40:23 Drew And it's an auction to raise money for the tsunami survivors. And here are the stations from which we originate, krock.com, kroq.com, and you can sign on to the big-ass auction, is that what they call it?

40:34 Adam Well, you just go to kroq.com and I think you can find it from there.

40:38 Drew But it says big-ass. It's not actually that obvious. It says big-ass auctions, one corner.

40:42 Adam Yeah.

40:43 Drew And you sign on and then there's this list of things you can bid on, including getting Pennywise over to your house, or as you say, keeping them from your house.

40:50 Adam The bid should be how to keep them away. If you bid enough, we can guarantee they will not come to your house.

40:55 Drew It's like a Visa commercial. Some things are priceless. And or having Hoobastank at an event of your choice.

41:01 Adam All sorts of cool things.

41:02 Drew Guitars and stuff. But one of them is to be a host, guest, slash guest, here on Loveline with Adam and I. And the current bidding for that is, Michelle?

41:16 Adam $11,000? That's, I mean, when I heard it was at like $3,400.

41:22 Drew I was freaked.

41:23 Adam I was mortified. What kind of maniac is going to come in here, Drew?

41:26 Drew A, who is the person going to be? B, what are you going to have to do for them?

41:30 Adam Here's oral, obviously.

41:32 Drew Or as you say, receive.

41:33 Sean Faris What are you going to do for them?

41:35 Adam When we get to $15,000, yes, we're definitely, it's out of me. But here's the thing, Drew, and I know this is going to be an unpopular stance.

41:42 Drew Can't wait.

41:43 Adam I think a lot of the reason that people are coming in here is because of my comedy. I think I feel like I've driven the price up. I think that-

41:52 Drew So you should get in cover cut?

41:54 Adam A taste. I'm not saying I want the lion's share of the money.

41:57 Sean Faris It's like 10%.

41:58 Adam Yeah, well, agents, managers.

42:00 Sean Faris Just like the Hollywood thing.

42:01 Adam Well, I mean, here's the thing. Even the Red Cross has a price to operate. You give 10 grand to them, maybe 8,500 makes it over to the Philippines or where the hell this went on, Drew. But there's envelopes to buy, there's stationery, there's things like that. What do I got? I got gas. I'm coming in here.

42:20 Drew Think of your time. You're going to come in at least 8 minutes early that night.

42:23 Adam Talk to the person. No, but here's seriously what I'm saying. Here's what I'm saying. Look, you could have some other bozo in here. Let's face it, you could have Ricky Rackman in here. You guys be coming off about 2,200 bucks, maybe 2,500 bucks, or you could have the ace man in here, and I can guarantee you 15 grand. I'm going to need to see 5.

42:42 Drew If you guarantee that 15.

42:43 Adam I guarantee you 15.

42:44 Drew If we don't make 15, you got to make up the difference.

42:46 Adam Okay, I guarantee you 15. I'm going to need to see 5. I need to wet my beak. You understand?

42:50 Sean Faris Adam, you have no shame. This is for the relief fund. Oh, he'll give it back to me.

42:54 Adam I got three houses and a fleet of sports cars. Those things don't pay for themselves, kid.

42:59 Sean Faris You just want to see a little love.

43:01 Adam I don't have the looks that you got, you understand? I got to swirl away my money.

43:05 Sean Faris You do have the cash register.

43:07 Adam I got to shake my ass and have cash fall out of the tree on me like you, kid. Quiet down. This is business now. I'm just saying ten grand toward the tsunami fund.

43:17 Drew Five to Adam.

43:19 Adam It's better than the 22 you would have got with Rackless. You see what I'm saying?

43:22 Drew You're still winning.

43:23 Adam I know it's not a popular thing, but I'm being honest. Okay.

43:28 Drew And you're getting what you're worth.

43:29 Adam I'm getting what I'm worth.

43:30 Drew I'm just going to call you Diana Ross.

43:32 Adam They're getting 10 more than they would have gotten. All right.

43:36 You know, if the person's smart, whoever wins, they'll request to come in on a night you're not in, like a striker. So they can get a word in edgewise.

43:44 Adam How dare you? Who is that? The point is, is I've been looking for that voice and I can't find it. I checked the bathrooms. I went to Aero, kicked the door in, started screaming at the guy. Talk, Daniel. The point is, is we can get up to 15. That's my... The auction is over Friday night. We can get this thing up to 15. Like I said, what might be? I just want to tell you.

44:05 Drew I'm serving over 10, you get.

44:07 Adam And again, they get 10. What am I giving them? Beach Blank with a hole on it? Again, 10 grand.

44:14 Drew Yeah, you're right.

44:15 Sean Faris What happened to the Hollywood 10 percent? I mean, you're going 33 percent on that.

44:20 Adam Well, first off, I'm talent. That's more for agents. I'm actually driving the price up. And like I said, it takes guts to take a stand like this. You're not going to have other celebrities say that they actually want to be kissed in to the tsunami relief fund.

44:34 Sean Faris As far as I'm concerned, I think there's other stations converting now over to the red chair music.

44:39 Adam The red chair format. Drew, it's my right. If you just reach your wallet in front of me. Right.

44:45 Drew Reach in front. I don't like either of those words going around you. Let's just take this quickly.

44:49 Adam Elizabeth.

44:50 Drew Hello.

44:50 Adam $11,000.

44:52 Drew I'm going to be so guilty. What are we going to do with these people when they get here?

44:55 It's the most pricey. I mean, the highest priced auction on here. We have like 50 things.

45:01 Adam Wow.

45:01 Auctioning off and that's the highest thing.

45:02 Adam Wow.

45:04 Drew Don't you feel special? Let's take them to dinner.

45:06 Adam I just put it together a theory. 1,100 people are going to come in here.

45:10 Oh, yeah.

45:10 Adam I guess some guy in the office got everyone to put in a buck.

45:13 Yeah.

45:13 Adam I think that's what happened. All right, Elizabeth, you're 16. What's up?

45:19 Caller Tonight, I had sex with my boyfriend and it smelled like...

45:24 Drew Okay. She got eight words out in the S-bomb.

45:29 Adam Yeah, eight words, but like 14 syllables. That should be fair before the S-bomb.

45:33 Drew All right. So her point was that she and her brother, she and her boyfriend.

45:37 Sean Faris I hope not her brother.

45:38 Adam She's calling from Riverside.

45:39 Drew They're alchemy.

45:40 Adam They're probably a cousin and probably may possibly father.

45:42 Drew Together, they made a stinky smell.

45:44 Adam Yes.

45:45 Drew And that could either be him. Some guys do sometimes have a little funk about the semen, particularly if it's been a while since they've cleared the pipes. To, she could have a mal-odor. And either case, it could be something called trichomonas, cause a bad smell. There's also a vaginitis that can cause a bad smell. And sometimes just the two of them together, people don't make a different kind of a smell. So it does, something needs to be checked out for years.

46:09 Adam One closes one's eyes and the mind runs wild as to what finishing school she attended.

46:15 Drew Riverside, S-bomb.

46:18 Adam Hmm, tough. Obviously somewhere in Geneva.

46:21 Drew Pride Manor, yeah.

46:22 Adam I would assume.

46:23 Sean Faris Is it possible that if one person smells and another person smells, because they both smell, they don't smell each other?

46:30 Drew Well, you cancel each other's stint out. Just the way you get used to your own gas or things like that, you'll get used to your partner's smells. They will start to be.

46:36 Adam Oh, really?

46:37 Sean Faris Yeah.

46:38 Drew Not your brain. Your brain doesn't do that. Nothing goes into the background for you.

46:42 Adam No. I can't even like my own spit. It's like someone spit in my mouth 24 hours a day. It's horrible.

46:48 Caller You're trying to load your tongue.

46:50 Adam All right. Again, Sean Faris is here. Nightlife is, we know we're up to 11 grand. That's six for the Sumatras. Let's see if we can get that up to 15. We'll get it to 10. It's all going to be profit after this. All right? There you go. All right. After this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Sean Faris is here tonight. Drew is on the Loveline website, or the K-Rock website, trying to figure out what the bid is for the Tsunami Fund.

47:34 Sean Faris Has it gotten up since we spoke about it last?

47:36 Adam I hope it has.

47:37 Sean Faris Yeah, you want that 5% or that 5,000, huh?

47:40 Adam Yeah, again, it wouldn't be right to take 10%. I'm looking more in the 40 to 50% range. Drew's mouth is hanging open, and Michelle looks like she bit into some bad boon tank. Look at that face. What is going on? What is it up to, Drew? What's happening?

47:58 Drew We can't find it.

47:59 Adam Oh, we can't find it.

48:00 He's looking.

48:01 Adam All right. It was at 11 grand. You come in, you hang out. We may have a guest that night or you may be the guest.

48:07 Maybe that's an error.

48:08 Drew There's some weird stuff going on here.

48:10 Adam Okay. What's it down to now? Do I get my 5 grand or not?

48:15 Sean Faris They're retracting their offer. They knew you're getting money.

48:17 Adam It's going to be really horrible when it goes down to 4,800 bucks. And now I figure they owe me. I'm like, someone's got to fork over. I got to get 200 bucks from our Sumatran. That's it. All right. Drew, get back over here and do the show, would you?

48:33 Drew It's 11.

48:34 Adam It's 11. Good. That was a very fruitful 20 minutes you spent over there without a microphone. Eva Longoria is on the phone, by the way. She's called back in, of course, from the runaway hit, Desperate Housewives. Friend of Sean Faris. I don't know how they know each other, Drew, but we're going to find out. Eva?

48:54 Hi.

48:55 Adam Hey.

48:55 Sean Faris Hey, darling. How you doing? You've been out hanging out. You've been having a good time.

49:02 Yeah. I've been listening to you as I've been on hold five times.

49:07 Sean Faris Five times? How could you guys do that? I told you she was calling.

49:10 Adam I was looking for... Eva, how do you know Sean?

49:16 Sean and I met because of ABC, because we both have shows on ABC.

49:21 Adam Hmm.

49:22 Sean Faris They're curious about the love triangle.

49:24 Drew They saw each other on...

49:25 I know. But they want to hear something crazy.

49:27 Adam Yeah. Kimmel's on ABC. I think you're hanging with him.

49:31 Yeah. We met at the upfront in New York when they now have shows.

49:36 Adam There we go.

49:37 Sean Faris Booze, booze, and more booze.

49:39 I'm from Texas. So anybody from Texas, we immediately...

49:45 Sean Faris You just get along.

49:46 Adam Yeah.

49:47 Sean Faris It's just not a manic thing.

49:48 Drew Neither of you say y'all, though.

49:50 Sean Faris Well, it's a couple years separated from Texas.

49:52 Adam I see. Now, Eva, you live out in Los Angeles, right?

49:55 I do.

49:56 Adam And now, are you currently filming Desperate Housewives or shooting Desperate Housewives?

50:02 Yep. Right. Yep. As we speak.

50:05 Adam And what do you guys now... Are you doing season three now or are you working on two?

50:12 Well, we're not even finished season one. We're not even halfway done. We actually... No. We just finished episode 14 and episode 10 has aired.

50:22 Sean Faris How many are you doing this year? How many are you doing this year? How many episodes?

50:26 We're doing 23. Wow.

50:29 Sean Faris That's a big order. Lots of love.

50:30 Adam That's awesome. An amazing success that show has had.

50:34 Thank you.

50:36 Sean Faris I give all the credit to Eva myself.

50:38 Adam I do too. She's called in. But I mean, you couldn't have... I mean, I'm sure you figured you had a good cast and a good script and everything, but the kind of success that the show has had. I mean, I would think each year one show sort of, you have to say, this is the number one show of the year.

50:54 Drew I can't imagine you'd go into any show thinking, this is going to be the one.

50:57 Adam No.

50:58 Drew Yeah.

50:59 Adam Impossible.

50:59 You know, you hope for, as an actor, there's so many obstacles you have to overcome, like first getting a pilot and then the pilot getting picked up, and then the pilot hopefully finding an audience on the right night, on the right time, and there's so many factors that go into it. So, you just hope that you're going to have a job.

51:17 Adam Yeah. The attrition rate is incredible. Like, your greatest fear, you want to get picked up for season two. Forget about number one. How about top 70?

51:26 Exactly.

51:27 Sean Faris They're not going to have any problem with that, though.

51:29 Adam No, no.

51:31 Sean, we were premiering, Sean's like, dude, can you leave a little bit of budget for us with all the billboards and all the promotions that they did for it?

51:40 Adam Oh, yeah.

51:40 Sean Faris They had promotions on the hangers that you get whenever you get your dry cleaning. I mean, for every 100 units of promotion the Desperate Housewives and Lost got, we got too.

51:51 Adam Yeah. Well, I guess the Lost worked out OK, too. Yeah, that's really good.

51:56 I love Shawnee Show. Shawnee Show is a really good show.

51:58 Adam It's a nice, it's a cute little show. It's, you know, it's no Lost, it's no Desperate Housewives, but it's a nice little.

52:04 Sean Faris Give some love. I'm sitting right across from you.

52:05 It's a cute little show.

52:07 Drew It's cute.

52:07 Sean Faris It's a cute little show.

52:08 Adam It's OK if you like, you know, this kind of show, but it's not, you know, it's not Desperate Housewives. I mean, you couldn't advertise it on a wire hanger or anything.

52:15 Drew Our radio affiliates are getting behind it, though.

52:18 Adam Hey, hey, Eva, you should come do this show.

52:22 Caller I'm doing it now.

52:23 Right now.

52:24 Sean Faris Ah, there you go. She threw it right back at you.

52:27 Adam Right now, but you should, you should haul your very tight fanny in here and do the show in person one of these nights.

52:34 Yeah, I should. I should.

52:36 Drew I'm not going to.

52:37 Adam I know. You're not going to. Listen, if you hurry up, some of Sean Stink will still be on the stool.

52:43 I got to talk to Sean tonight when he gets home tonight and I'm going to ask him if how his experience was and if he says it was good.

52:50 Drew Very clever woman, this Eva. Smart. Treat my friend right. Treat my friend right.

52:54 Adam I see.

52:55 Sean Faris You better be nice.

52:56 Adam All right, Drew, give him the reach around. You're a doctor. It won't make you gay. If I do it, it's weird. Hey, hey, Eva. Yeah. Now, seriously, I'm not trying to do any tabloid journalism, but obviously, and I'm feeling the connection between you and Sean and me.

53:16 Shut up.

53:16 Adam Let me work my way into this.

53:18 Drew You guys got some planned up for tonight.

53:20 Yeah.

53:20 Adam You guys going to meet up later tonight?

53:23 Are we done?

53:25 Adam Yeah.

53:25 Drew Well, your friend Adam wanted to join you, I understand.

53:27 Sean Faris Are you working tomorrow?

53:29 Yeah. No, I work in the morning.

53:30 Adam See, she had to do that early.

53:32 Drew She could rally.

53:33 Adam Yeah, you can rally. What time? By the way, you can just sleep it off in your trailer. You'll be fine.

53:39 No, I am in love with Sean. He's the greatest guy in the world. He is an amazing friend. I just love supporting him.

53:48 Sean Faris Thank you, Eva.

53:50 Adam But Eva, let me seriously ask. Clearly, and look, I'm not trying to put anyone on the spot here, but maybe there is a connection to be made if there hasn't been already. Clearly, Sean is smitten with you. You have feelings for Sean. I don't know what your status is. I'm single or married or whatever. Sean seems to be free and clear.

54:11 Drew Adam's available.

54:12 Adam Yeah. I'm married, but she's flexible. She's cool like that. She's cool. No, I'm just saying, are you single, Eva? Yes. Uh-huh. You are. Sean, what's up?

54:25 Sean Faris Hey, I'm in the same boat.

54:26 Adam Sean's in the same single boat. I'm in the married dingy with Drew. You guys are on the cabin cruiser for Singality.

54:34 Sean Faris But-

54:34 Oh my God.

54:37 Adam Yeah. But here's what I'm saying. You're both single. You're both part of the galaxy of ABC stars. You're both attractive. You're young. You're in your prime. Sean, Sean's testosterone losing from this man.

54:52 Sean Faris I am a young guy.

54:54 Adam You beautiful Latino nubile woman. I mean, you're like a caged tiger. What-

55:02 Sean Faris Oh, he pegged you, huh?

55:04 Adam I'm just saying, well, what's wrong with the two of you connecting?

55:09 Sean is my friend.

55:12 Adam Right, friend, but what's wrong with connecting? You know, even better.

55:15 Sean Faris We're still like friends with benefits here.

55:17 Adam Right. I mean, I-

55:19 Sean Faris You know, honestly, I don't think it would work because Eva and I, the type of people we are, we-neither one of- if we ever went that route, we'd never leave the house.

55:28 Adam You're so passionate. You know, it's just-

55:30 Sean Faris It would be too much. Nothing would ever, ever top it.

55:34 Adam Yeah. Eva, are you a passionate woman?

55:38 Very much so. Yes. Yes.

55:39 Adam Very much so. And Sean, I thumped him like a melon before I came in and realized his passion is almost off the charts.

55:47 You guys have a lot of things going on over there. I think you were smitten with Sean.

55:53 Drew Oh, yes. Oh, yes. That goes without saying.

55:55 Adam I would like to see Sean with you. Yeah. I could watch that.

55:59 Sean Faris Hang out in the closet with the door creaked open.

56:01 Drew No, no, no. Oh, Sean, are you kidding?

56:04 Adam Yeah.

56:04 Sean Faris Yeah.

56:04 Adam So listen, Eva, here's the towel boy. Here's the thing. I'm just standing there holding the towel. Mr. Faris will do a couple of black jobs. Mint. Hey, Eva, here's all I'm saying. I would love to be the guy that got you two together. Obviously, there's energy here. I'm not trying to pimp either one of you.

56:26 Drew Hell, you're not. You're going nuts on that.

56:28 Adam There's energy. There's energy between the two of them.

56:31 They're both single.

56:33 Drew You spent ten minutes on this. Let's leave these poor kids alone.

56:35 All right.

56:36 All right. Sean and I try to create rumors. And we just ain't nothing going.

56:41 Caller No, nothing's going.

56:43 Drew We can help you with that. That's no problem.

56:45 Adam Eva, you go to your condo and have a wine cooler. We need you to do that.

56:52 Sean Faris Go warm up the hot tub.

56:53 Adam Fire up the hot tub. And then I'm going to need you to take a nice Lufa shower.

56:58 Sean Faris Get the booty queens out, too.

57:00 Adam Sean's going to, Sean's going to, we're going to rev him up over here and then we'll send him by. He should get there about 12, 15, 12, 20, all right?

57:10 Drew I'll be there about 12, 22.

57:11 Adam And he'll give you a good report and then we'll see you on this show.

57:15 All right. I look forward to it, y'all.

57:17 Adam Thanks. All right. Eva Longoria, everyone, from Desperate Housewives. There's something there. There's some energy and I can't quite, you love Desperate Housewives? There's nothing to love.

57:29 I remember her from Young and the Restless.

57:31 Adam Ah, yeah. You're a lesbian. She's restless.

57:34 Drew Okay. She's in Michelle's wheelhouse.

57:37 Adam Oh, yeah. Attractive woman. Yes. Yeah. You can't go wrong with that. Tight.

57:44 Sean Faris She's a great person. She really is.

57:46 Adam Who cares? I don't care if she's a Hitler Jr. She's great looking. And you should be on that. And I think there's something going on. I do. I do. Whatever. OK. I'm just I'm wanting to facilitate.

57:58 Drew I know you are, but you made that point 18 times in a row. And you can take care of themselves.

58:03 Adam Women women feel sometimes like they give in to our relationship.

58:06 Drew Sean wants you to do that. He'll like.

58:08 Adam No, Sean does.

58:09 Drew You want him to beat on you guys like that?

58:11 Sean Faris I can do whatever he wants. I'm just sitting here for pure entertainment purposes.

58:15 Drew He's not here.

58:16 Adam He's not here.

58:16 Does he like older women?

58:18 Sean Faris Oh, I love older women.

58:19 Adam Yeah, everyone. Look, 22-year-old guys love older women because they're 27-year-old women.

58:23 Sean Faris Well, yeah, of course.

58:24 Adam When you hit 45, you don't want to be at the 59-year-old.

58:27 Sean Faris That's never going to happen. No. When you hit 45, that's when you drop back down.

58:31 Adam You drop down.

58:32 Sean Faris Of course.

58:32 Adam But ironically, they're still 27. Like that.

58:35 Sean Faris And always 27 is like that point.

58:37 Adam You're 22, you want to be at the 27-year-old. You're 45, you want to be at the 27-year-old.

58:41 Drew What is the optimal age?

58:43 Adam For what?

58:43 Drew 27.

58:45 Adam When you're aiming for a woman?

58:46 Drew Because you either the blue pick 27 is the age.

58:48 Adam I just do it out there.

58:50 Sean Faris Look, here's where you want to give or take a few.

58:52 Adam Women can be super foxy at 21, 22, but the desire part is a little screwed up, a little nutty. And yeah, I would say 30, 31.

59:04 Drew I was saying let's write down a number.

59:05 Adam Okay, well too late. I would say, and it keeps shifting, and Drew, you're a little older than I am, so moves up for you. 32. 32, everything still works, super horny, and the body, nothing's falling.

59:17 Sean Faris I'll leave that to you guys.

59:18 Adam Yeah. Yeah, we get the 32 year old's Drew. Sarah?

59:24 Yeah.

59:26 Adam What's happening?

59:29 My boyfriend has a really bad temper. I think I'll say it, actually.

59:34 Adam I'm gonna talk to Eve again. What's going on?

59:36 Drew Does he hit you?

59:38 He has once.

59:40 Drew Okay. Well, he will do that again.

59:41 Where's my bourbon?

59:42 Drew Absolutely.

59:43 Adam Maybe he got it out of a system.

59:44 Drew No, it doesn't work like that, unfortunately.

59:46 Adam It doesn't?

59:46 Drew Well, he's broken the law in touching you like that.

59:49 We've been together for a little over a year.

59:53 Drew Well, in that case then.

59:55 I mean, I know that doesn't make it right. Nothing makes it right. But it's the first time he's ever done anything like that.

1:00:01 Drew Yeah. And that's not the last time. These things, once they cross into this behavior, it escalates.

1:00:07 Adam It does.

1:00:07 I know. I had the same experience with my ex.

1:00:10 Drew So, you do tend to go after abusive men.

1:00:13 Adam Well, yeah. Here's the thing. If you were with... The fact that you're with him says to us that it's going to escalate.

1:00:19 Drew Right. Because that's who you pick.

1:00:20 Adam So, we're guessing your dad was physically abusive to you.

1:00:23 Not to me. All right.

1:00:25 Drew A violent guy. Whatever. He was that kind of person. And that's why you're attracted to that kind of person. What's that?

1:00:31 He was to my mom.

1:00:32 Drew I understand. So, that's what you expect from men, is for them to beat the crap out of you.

1:00:36 Well, that's not what I want.

1:00:38 Drew I know it's not what you want, but on some levels, you're attracted to that.

1:00:42 Adam What you want, what you seek are two very different things.

1:00:45 Drew The thing is, the things that are traumatizing in childhood, for reasons that are... Why God wired us this way is just a complete mystery, but we are wired in such a way that when we have a traumatic experience in childhood, that becomes a source of attraction later in adulthood. And so, the kind of thing, the kind of person that dad was, and all his traumatizing, what you hated for him for doing, is stuff that you find arousing and alluring now, and you can't not go after those guys. And boy, you gotta get some treatment so you don't go after those guys.

1:01:13 Well, is there any way at all to break that cycle?

1:01:16 Drew Yes, yes, absolutely.

1:01:18 I thought I was when I got with him because he was nothing like that when I met him.

1:01:22 Drew Here's what you can pretty much depend on. If you are super attracted to a guy, that's the kind of guy he's gonna be. Even if he seems, even if he's a kindergarten teacher, whatever, it seems like the nice guy in the world, you picked him, you're super attracted to him, that's who he's gonna be.

1:01:35 Adam That's why Eva likes Sean.

1:01:37 Drew Rough trade.

1:01:38 Adam Handful of hair. Oh yeah. Sarah?

1:01:42 Drew I think they're singing the other way around. She seemed like the more active one.

1:01:44 Adam I could see that too. Either way, it's gonna work. Sarah? Yeah. This guy, what's he do for a living?

1:01:52 He works at a big company, a big corporation that makes...

1:02:03 Adam Just say things so I can be satisfied and go home.

1:02:07 They make things for like big companies.

1:02:11 Drew Make things for big companies.

1:02:13 Adam What a vivid picture.

1:02:16 Drew Things for big companies.

1:02:17 Adam It's really like having a high-definition plasma screen in my set.

1:02:22 Sean Faris Well, you may be afraid that he may find out by naming what he does.

1:02:26 Adam Well, that's a good point. Thanks for trapping on me. There you go.

1:02:31 Sean Faris I'm a listener. I'm an observer.

1:02:33 Adam No, I appreciate it. You're right. You got us back on track, Sarah. But it takes a big, big man to admit what someone else is right, Drew. Big man.

1:02:41 Sean Faris That's you.

1:02:41 Adam I get it. You're a huge man. So Sarah, I agree with Drew. We should probably drop this guy.

1:02:47 Sean Faris Yeah.

1:02:48 Adam And you need to get some free.

1:02:50 Drew I know.

1:02:51 Adam No, I know, because that's what a track. Hold on a second. Let's talk about attraction for just one second, because that's the heroin part of the relationship. The reason, you know, somebody could be going, like a guy could kill himself over a chick. And you look at her and like, yeah, it's not doing anything. I mean, what is attraction? You know, you hear these women all the time, especially for women. It's like, well, he's short. He's kind of balding. And there ain't much to look at. He's got a hairy back. But it's like, I can't, I got to breathe his breath. I can't. I want to drink his urine. I got to be near this guy. What is that? Well, the guy's a schlub. Why do you got to be near him? Well, that's what attraction is. And it's more powerful than the sort of rational mind.

1:03:33 Drew Crazy intense like that, particularly for people that don't make sense to everybody else. It's because you were traumatized. And this is a reenactment of all that traumatic material. And what's interesting, even again interesting, is when the current boyfriend starts actually escalating and traumatizing you again, one of the concept is that it increases your attachment needs. Where do people go when they're in traumatic situations but run to their loved ones? So now this is the guy you're even more attached to now when he becomes the traumatizer. Because that's the only place you can go when you're being traumatized.

1:04:04 Adam Is it safe to say that the more effed up you are, the stronger and more specific the attraction is, and the greater the grip it has on you?

1:04:16 Drew The less flexibility you have with moving in and out of relationships.

1:04:19 Adam Yeah, like super people that haven't had any history of trauma can objectively take a look at a situation or this person hit me, I'm leaving the relationship.

1:04:28 Drew That's one of the things that happens from trauma is you lose flexibility and the ability to move in and out of bad and good feelings, bad and good relationships.

1:04:36 Adam Right. And women probably use more of their brain in terms of attraction than guys do. I mean, guys use their eyes.

1:04:44 Drew Yes. Guys have, guys, their eyes activate their visual courtesies and then they're driven right into the drive centers, right into the desire center.

1:04:52 Adam Straight to the junk.

1:04:53 Drew The women don't have that desire activation.

1:04:55 Adam Like the desire flies right to the basket.

1:04:56 Drew They have arousal without desire. And so they have attraction, all that is what moves them along. It's not that hunger desire stuff that men get.

1:05:04 Sean Faris Is that why they're always able to say no? Stop.

1:05:08 You said they're going, but I got you.

1:05:10 Drew They don't have that.

1:05:12 Sean Faris Until they hit their peak.

1:05:14 Drew No, even that. A lot of women, that part of the brain doesn't... Some do. Some women are sort of masculinized and have a lot of testosterone and whatnot circulating. But most of them... I'm going out for Discovery Health Channel. We're going to go to a functional MRI scan in Atlanta. And we're going to do a bunch of functional MRIs on people looking at the rousing material.

1:05:30 Adam Is there a non-functioning MRI?

1:05:32 Drew Functional MRI, meaning it shows the metabolic function of regions of the brain, not just the anatomic structure. So you actually look at what the brain is doing in response to stimuli.

1:05:42 Sean Faris Pretend like I understand what you're talking about.

1:05:44 Adam Your Drew's going in. Sean, a man of passion, by the way.

1:05:47 Drew We'll have a little race.

1:05:48 Adam Reminds me of a young Drew driven by passion, both toward the same goal. Vagina, Hill. Yeah.

1:05:57 Drew Now that's the one again. Take two.

1:06:04 Adam Driven by passion, to fueled by lust.

1:06:07 Yes.

1:06:08 Just got to have it.

1:06:09 Adam There's just two men, both in their primes, both moving in the same direction.

1:06:16 To the?

1:06:17 Adam Eva Longoria's underpants. The point is, is I can see, I see the passion in Drew. Hell, you can smell it if the air conditioning ducts blowing hard enough. Sean is passionate man, as I've seen in here in a long time, and I've seen passion. I know passion.

1:06:35 Sean Faris It's just ripped on my face. I actually got a tattoo on my forearm.

1:06:39 Drew Yeah, well.

1:06:41 Adam I think Eva's picking up on it. That's all I'm saying. All right, so dump the guy. Yeah?

1:06:47 Drew And get some help.

1:06:48 Adam And get some help.

1:06:49 Drew A good therapist could help you with this. There are specialists in domestic violence, and report him, frankly.

1:06:56 Adam Well, we got a question for Sean. I was looking at Monique is going to ask a question. That's a hot name.

1:07:01 Drew Me?

1:07:02 Adam Passion.

1:07:02 Drew Monique.

1:07:03 Adam Yeah. Monique's got a question for you.

1:07:04 Drew Already Sean's into it.

1:07:05 Adam Yeah.

1:07:05 Sean Faris And, Dallen, Monique, what is up?

1:07:07 Adam We will, well, hold on. What is up? Monique?

1:07:10 Caller Hello?

1:07:11 Adam We got to take a quick commercial here, baby doll.

1:07:14 Sean Faris But if you hold on, I would be happy to answer your question.

1:07:17 Adam Yes.

1:07:19 Caller Sure.

1:07:20 Adam Get some tips from the reigning King of Passion, under thinned out, under 30, Division Drew. It's not going to make a run at your crown.

1:07:28 I'm going to leave it on my own. All right.

1:07:30 Adam Hold on, Monique. Sean Faris is here tonight from Life as We Know at 8 o'clock, Thursdays, ABC. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number 1-800-LE-V-E-191. Sean Faris is here tonight from Life As We Know It. Will Sasso is coming in here tomorrow night from Less Than Perfect, and you've probably known him for all those years on MADtv, plenty of them.

1:08:02 Sean Faris Got a lot of ABC love going on here, huh?

1:08:04 Adam We certainly do, yeah. Yeah, usually we go deep cable, but for the next few nights, usually it's the guy with the question marks on his suit that comes on at 5 o the morning, screams at you about getting 80 grand, open a coffee shop. Drew, have you still not seen this guy?

1:08:21 Drew I've seen him. No, no, I've seen that guy.

1:08:23 Adam He's awesome. He tells you how to rape your government.

1:08:26 It's true.

1:08:26 Adam I like it too. I just saw him the other night.

1:08:28 Drew He's like, I went to a coffee shop.

1:08:30 You went over there.

1:08:30 Adam You need bills? I'll get $7,000 for your phone bill. It's like you run up a bill for 7 grand on your telephone and we're supposed to pay for it, and there's a part where he goes, it doesn't matter, rich, poor, it doesn't matter. Like you're a rich guy. You're a rich guy and you're like, yeah, I need $125 grand to write a novel from the government and he'll get it for you.

1:08:51 Sean Faris Is this the guy with the neon question marks all over his red hair?

1:08:55 Adam That's right, Lascaux. Speaking of money, are we at $11 grand?

1:09:00 Drew Hasn't moved.

1:09:01 Sean Faris Hasn't moved.

1:09:01 Adam Hasn't moved.

1:09:02 Drew That seems to be our price.

1:09:03 Sean Faris You started going for the money, Adam, and you just killed it.

1:09:06 Adam $11,000 for the tsunami relief. That means $6 grand. Count them six. Heading over to that region of the world. Five for the ace man. And it's not like I might not make a donation out of that five. You know what I mean?

1:09:21 Sean Faris A little less.

1:09:22 Adam I might kick over. This is...

1:09:24 Sean Faris 10%?

1:09:25 Adam No, but 70... Yeah, 70, 80 bucks, you know, toward the thing. So, you know, out of that five. Again, I've driven the price up, Drew. I need the beak to be wet.

1:09:36 Hey, guys.

1:09:37 Adam Monique? Yeah.

1:09:38 It's The Voice. I was just searching on the... I was just looking at the thing. Lisa May to Lick Her Face is up to $900,000.

1:09:45 Drew Yeah, that's what I was... That's what my mouth was open when Adam watched me.

1:09:49 But they'll verify it tomorrow.

1:09:52 Drew No, there's something wrong. There's another one for $100,000 up there that's messed up.

1:09:57 But our $11,000 apparently has been verified, meaning they've checked and we're in the gym.

1:10:02 Adam Again, I'm still expecting at least 5,000 people to come in here, each paying $2.25. All right, Monique?

1:10:10 Uh-huh.

1:10:11 Adam You're 15, are you in love with Sean?

1:10:14 Caller A what?

1:10:15 Adam Are you in love with Sean?

1:10:17 Oh yeah, definitely.

1:10:19 Adam Yeah, he's cute.

1:10:20 Sean Faris Where you from, Monique?

1:10:22 Where am I from? Yeah.

1:10:24 Caller Los Angeles.

1:10:25 Sean Faris Really?

1:10:26 Yeah.

1:10:27 Sean Faris I'm in Los Angeles.

1:10:28 Adam Yeah. She's 15, you son of a bitch.

1:10:30 That was the 15 year old.

1:10:31 Sean Faris I'm not hitting on her. I'm just making conversation.

1:10:34 Adam You got Eve at home taking a nice bath, getting ready for you.

1:10:37 Drew Where am I from was the 15 year old version of who?

1:10:40 Adam Yeah, I know. It's a time by. Yeah. So, Monique, you have a question for Sean?

1:10:45 Sean Faris Yeah.

1:10:46 Caller All right. Sean, like, were you your character when you were his age?

1:10:53 Sean Faris I could say that I had many of the characteristics of Dino whenever I was in high school, but not quite the way I don't even know if I can say the word. He was kind of an ass.

1:11:05 Adam Ass.

1:11:05 Sean Faris Wasn't quite the asshole he was.

1:11:07 Adam Yeah. You're a nice guy.

1:11:08 Sean Faris Yeah, I was a nice guy.

1:11:10 Caller Right.

1:11:10 Adam You're heading that direction by the way. I'm just saying the money comes in, the success, you start betting these beautiful exes.

1:11:18 Sean Faris Are we talking about me or are we talking about you?

1:11:21 Adam I was an a-hole when I was a junior.

1:11:24 Caller Are you kidding?

1:11:25 Adam Monique? So you think Sean is dreamy?

1:11:29 Yeah.

1:11:29 Adam Is he still you streaming? You do.

1:11:31 Sean Faris Are you going to watch the show tonight, Monique?

1:11:33 Definitely. I watch like every week.

1:11:37 Sean Faris You do?

1:11:38 Yeah.

1:11:39 Sean Faris All right. You're a big fan. I like that.

1:11:40 Adam Do you have that TiVo, Monique?

1:11:43 Sean Faris Oh, sure. The important question is, do you have a Nielsen box?

1:11:47 Adam You have a Nielsen box? Yeah. In our Arbitron book. Yeah. Hey, Monique? I'll tell you what. Tomorrow night's episode, Sean is going to do something that only you're going to know. He's going to tip it off. He knows you're watching. Sean, tomorrow night, let's figure out something for you to do so that when Monique is sitting at home at 8.15 or 8.45, you make a move that's just for Monique, whether it's scratching your head or a certain way you flip your hair or you put your hands in your pocket at a certain time. Can you give her something?

1:12:24 Sean Faris Well, I would absolutely love to do that, but it's not a live show.

1:12:27 Adam No, you could do it. Come on. What do you got for her?

1:12:31 Drew What are one of the things you do?

1:12:32 Adam What are you doing tomorrow?

1:12:33 Sean Faris What am I doing tomorrow?

1:12:34 Adam Which episode? I want you to dedicate something to Monique so that when she's home, she's going to see that and know you're thinking of her.

1:12:43 Sean Faris I don't even know what's going on.

1:12:43 Drew You comb your hair, you put a hand in your pocket.

1:12:46 Sean Faris There's a moment of realization.

1:12:49 Adam No, no, no.

1:12:51 Sean Faris I'm trying to think of what happens. We filmed this months ago.

1:12:54 Adam Work them.

1:12:55 Come on.

1:12:56 Adam The chick's got cancer.

1:12:57 Sean Faris I'm helping her. I'm trying.

1:12:59 Adam You understand.

1:12:59 Sean Faris Don't put me in the hot seat. I'm under pressure here.

1:13:01 Adam Just make one of those moves. You do one of those Keith Partridge moves where he puts his hands in his pocket and flips his hair back. For me, it would just be about to scratch my ass.

1:13:11 Sean Faris Is that your signature move?

1:13:12 Adam I do it every 10 minutes. 8 to 10 minutes, Drew. What do you got? What are you going to dedicate to?

1:13:20 Sean Faris I'll dedicate the eyebrow. I use the eyebrow.

1:13:24 Adam You raise the eyebrow? You do one, you're single, you do right.

1:13:28 Sean Faris It's the right eyebrow. It's going to go up. It's going to go up just for you, Monique.

1:13:31 Adam Monique? All right. You're going to be watching tomorrow night, right?

1:13:35 Caller Yeah.

1:13:35 Sean Faris I'm doing the eyebrow for you, honey.

1:13:37 Caller Okay. Thank you, Sean.

1:13:39 Adam All right, baby doll. When you see you have a fan for life, she's going to see that brow raise, she's going to start screaming, he did it for her, and then her brother is going to like clue her in. It's going to get weird.

1:13:49 Sean Faris All right.

1:13:51 Adam You ready, Drew?

1:13:51 Drew There we go.

1:13:52 Caller Keep going.

1:13:53 Adam Matt?

1:13:54 Yeah.

1:13:55 Adam Oh, you're 18?

1:13:57 Caller Yeah.

1:13:58 Caller Oh, man. You guys are awesome. Let me just tell you.

1:14:00 Caller Thanks.

1:14:02 Adam Listen, tomorrow night when you're watching Life is Who We Know It, Sean is going to make a move.

1:14:07 Drew He's going to raise his right arm.

1:14:08 Adam He's going to raise some proud. You're going to be watching, brother, and that's going to be for Matt. Okay? That's how he signals you.

1:14:16 All right.

1:14:17 Sean Faris Go ahead, man.

1:14:18 Drew Okay.

1:14:19 Caller I just came home from college and figured out I got mono over brick and they told me that absolute no drinking because it affects your spleen, I guess, or liver. Why is that?

1:14:32 Adam How's that go?

1:14:33 Drew Why does it do that?

1:14:34 Adam Yeah.

1:14:34 What's up with the mono?

1:14:35 Drew It's a virus that causes inflammation of the liver and enlargement of the spleen.

1:14:40 Adam Is that what mono does?

1:14:41 Sean Faris First of all, who are you making out with that gave it to you?

1:14:44 Drew And the alcohol further inflames the liver. It can give you significant liver issues.

1:14:49 Adam It can. I'm putting it on hold because he keeps talking when you're talking.

1:14:52 Drew Yeah. It's just in terms of allowing your liver to heal, you want to use non-expose it to things that can be further inflaming.

1:14:58 Adam All right. But there's, you know, can't do and then there's... I'd be cool, right?

1:15:02 Sean Faris Well, mono is pretty hardcore though. It takes a lot to recover from that.

1:15:05 Adam Did you ever have it?

1:15:06 Sean Faris I never had it, but I had some friends that had it and they were down for weeks. Yeah.

1:15:09 Drew It's pretty bad.

1:15:09 Adam Drew had it in high school, right?

1:15:11 Drew Horrible.

1:15:12 Adam Really?

1:15:12 Sean Faris Who gave it to you? Then you know about this.

1:15:15 Drew Got it.

1:15:16 Adam You got it? And you were how old? And you just had to stay home for how long?

1:15:20 Drew Two weeks.

1:15:21 Adam Two weeks.

1:15:21 Sean Faris Sleep all day?

1:15:22 Adam That would have been awesome.

1:15:23 Drew It was more than sleep all day. It was high fever than vomiting. Really?

1:15:26 Adam It was horrible. Weird cheap family.

1:15:28 Sean Faris Get up and walk across a room and you're exhausted.

1:15:30 Drew Oh. Funny, I was thinking about that this morning, that mono episode.

1:15:34 Adam Had a little bell to ring.

1:15:35 Drew I hocked up a fetus at one point during that. But I mean, think with the thing.

1:15:39 Adam It had legs.

1:15:40 Drew Like it was an organism. It started to differentiate into organs.

1:15:43 Adam And your mom just took care of you? Yeah. And what did they do? Did they bring you homework and stuff from school?

1:15:49 Drew I couldn't do anything. Oh, it happened during my senior project. We had like two weeks off to do a senior project.

1:15:53 Adam Two weeks off?

1:15:54 Sean Faris Yeah.

1:15:55 Adam How does it work?

1:15:56 Drew I don't know.

1:15:56 Sean Faris You just got out of that senior project, didn't you?

1:15:59 Adam You're going to build a paper mache hippo or something like that anyway, right?

1:16:03 Drew But you know what? I taught myself to type. That became my senior project. Because I couldn't get off out of a seat.

1:16:07 Adam So I just sat there with the typewriter in your belly. Nice. I wish I would have got mono in high school.

1:16:12 Sean Faris I wish I would have taught myself how to type.

1:16:14 Adam Yeah. No. If you had mono, you would be able to type.

1:16:17 Sean Faris No. I'm all one digit, man. All around.

1:16:21 Adam I don't even use my fingers. I'm not even at that point. I use my nose and my penis. And it takes a long time to get from it.

1:16:27 Drew It's like a pages of scrotum.

1:16:28 Adam On my scrotum, I just rest my scrotum on there. All of a sudden, numbers and signs and letters come up. Upper case, lower case. It's a mess. Spell check. Smoke starts coming out of the thing. All right. What are we doing here, Drew?

1:16:43 Drew Taking calls. Here we go.

1:16:44 Adam So no drinking if you had had a question there.

1:16:47 Drew It looks like this. Matt, that's sort of an alcoholic evolution.

1:16:51 Caller I got one more question.

1:16:52 What about pot?

1:16:53 Caller Is it the same thing?

1:16:55 Drew No, but Matt, you're an alcoholic addict in progress here. You're going to have to deal with this, buddy. I'm just saying you're on your way, Matt. You're on your way. I know it seems like nothing happened.

1:17:14 Adam He already has the, I'm talking as the same time the authority figure is talking. That's one of the key alcoholic components. Let's talk to Christy who's 16. Christy.

1:17:26 Caller Hey, guys. How are you?

1:17:27 Adam Hey, great. Tomorrow night on Life As We Know It, Sean's going to do the same thing where he raises his brow.

1:17:34 Caller For you.

1:17:34 Sean Faris The right eyebrow.

1:17:36 Adam The right brow, which is about the only thing I can do, by the way. I can do my right brow too.

1:17:41 Sean Faris But you can't get the left, can you?

1:17:43 Drew I can only do the left.

1:17:43 Sean Faris I've tried to do the left and I just can't seem to get it.

1:17:46 Adam Yeah, let's see. Drew does the left. Yeah. But now you can do the middle. Can you do the middle? You're going down. Can you go up? Yeah, but that's both. Can you lean them up? No. All right. And you do the right. Now why not? Now, Sean, you're right-handed? Yes. Drew, you're right-handed. And I'm left-handed, but I can only do my right. So you see nothing.

1:18:08 Drew Nothing.

1:18:08 Adam Really, we got nothing. All right, Christy, go ahead.

1:18:11 Caller Oh, for someone to tell you, Dr. Drew, I love your book Cracked. I got it for like 10 people for Christmas. I absolutely love it.

1:18:18 Drew That's so kind of you, Christy. Thanks.

1:18:19 Caller Yeah. Anyway, my question is, can you get an STD from swallowing semen?

1:18:26 Drew Yeah, you can get an STD just from giving an a blowjob without swallowing semen. But the more dangerous ones are from the semen itself, the viral transmitted like HIV, hepatitis. That can get into the esophagus and be absorbed there.

1:18:41 Caller Okay.

1:18:42 Caller So you want to wear a condom?

1:18:44 Drew Yeah, that's the idea. I know the Trojan is working on like a flavored condom they're going to bring out next year.

1:18:48 Sean Faris I thought they already had flavored condoms.

1:18:50 Drew Well, they're trying to come up with something that's like superior.

1:18:52 Sean Faris Yeah, something that everyone's going to love.

1:18:54 Adam This isn't like that cool mint crap. This is like, these are dinner type things.

1:19:00 Sean Faris Strawberry, cherry.

1:19:01 Adam That's like liver. Things like that. As you're getting a BJ and your dog just jumps in and starts devouring your penis, knocks your girlfriend out of the way and the dog runs away with your penis. You have to put a strainer on the toilet and put them over the toilet to get a penis back.

1:19:17 Drew I try to get where there's a pan-seared sea bass. I really like that.

1:19:20 Caller We're trying to work on that.

1:19:23 Adam Yeah, we got new poached potatoes. We got a seared aji-ahi and choice-of-sides. And you're like, could I get the seas... No substitutions. I like to know. I like when they won't substitute. All right. All right. So, Christy. Yeah.

1:19:44 Drew Be careful.

1:19:45 Adam Be careful. What do you got going on? You got a boyfriend?

1:19:48 Caller Yeah, I have a boyfriend. He's 17.

1:19:50 Adam All right. And does he have any venereal diseases?

1:19:54 Caller I hope not. I don't think so.

1:19:56 Drew All right. You're probably okay. Is he treating you well?

1:20:00 Caller Oh, yeah. Great. Yeah.

1:20:02 Adam Okay. All right. So tomorrow night, Sean's going to give the brow raise, okay?

1:20:06 Caller I can't wait.

1:20:07 Sean Faris That's just for you.

1:20:08 Adam That'll be just for you, baby.

1:20:10 Drew Who would it be? She lives in Palm Desert. That must be a weird place to be, a 16-year-old. Yeah. There with octogenarians and it's too hot in the summer to go outside.

1:20:18 Adam Well, you go down to Hadley's and get a date shake. I don't know. Isn't that where Palm Desert is?

1:20:25 Drew It's on the way to Las Vegas.

1:20:26 Adam Oh, Palm Desert on the way.

1:20:27 Drew That's in Palm Springs. It's on outskirts of Palm Springs.

1:20:30 Adam What is? Hadley's is on the outskirts.

1:20:33 Drew But on the way to Vegas, though?

1:20:34 Adam No, on the way to Palm Springs. Yeah. Look it up.

1:20:38 Drew Give me a date shake. You know where they go is the outlet stores.

1:20:41 Adam Oh, yeah. That's where they hang out. You can go to Sonny Bono's Restaurant. I mean, it's huge. Try to do a little driving. Yeah, I don't know. And it's like 100. The idea of the people that live in the place is to get over 117 in the summer is just unfathomable to me. Like Jimmy lived in like Tucson, Phoenix, Las Vegas, and Palm Springs.

1:21:07 Sean Faris He's just attracted to the heat.

1:21:08 Drew Well, he's a svelte guy with no hair.

1:21:11 Adam Yeah, yeah.

1:21:11 Drew He doesn't sweat or anything.

1:21:13 Adam Long, lean, yeah, long appendages. He's built like an aborigine. Or is he pasty and hairy?

1:21:22 Drew Fire hydrant.

1:21:23 Adam I know, like, what are you trying to do? Melt yourself?

1:21:26 Drew Cook your inner self?

1:21:27 Adam Everyone's whole thing is like, yeah, you're just going to take a, you're going to pit steam. What did you think he was going to come out of?

1:21:35 Drew He's going to come out of the ice. He's going to be a monkey or something. What?

1:21:38 Adam Well, I, I, I, I, part, some of it had to do with radio, but not really, not the Vegas and the Tucson part or the Phoenix part, but. I, I mean, we took a, a bus, we chartered a bus to go to Vegas in the, like, for, like, Cousin Sal's bachelor party in, like, August or something, stopped at a Wendy's, you know, outside a baker or something, got out of the bus, and I started running around like an aunt that had a magnifying glass over it. I was like, ah, what's going on? What's going on? I started hiding behind, I, I, I started seeking shelter because I started, there must be some source of this heat. I'm standing by a huge exhaust duct or something. I felt like I was staying, maybe it's coming out of the bus. No, that's it. That's what you got.

1:22:24 Sean Faris I drove out to Palm Springs in my jeep once with the top off, and it was like, it was like driving in a, in a sauna.

1:22:29 Adam Yeah.

1:22:29 Sean Faris And I was just, you know, as I get a blow dryer on you the whole way there.

1:22:32 Adam I, you know, I don't understand the folks that, you know, live in the places where there's, you know, 40 inches of rain every year either, but I understand that more than the people, you know, and they was, it's always the same thing. It's like, you get, you get used to it.

1:22:46 Sean Faris No, no, they commit suicide. They get hooked on heroin.

1:22:49 Drew Seattle, Tucson.

1:22:51 Adam All right, Seattle.

1:22:52 Drew Yes.

1:22:52 Adam Yeah, yeah. And they're always like, yeah, you know, you get used to it. It's like, look, I, you could take, you could take both legs off at the knee. I would eventually get used to it. But why? Why do it? Yeah. All right. Wait till you step on a landmine. Don't do it, don't do it willfully. Yes.

1:23:10 Drew Yes.

1:23:10 Adam Thank you.

1:23:11 Drew But you and I, you and I both have this thing about the heat.

1:23:13 Adam Yeah, we don't like heat. All right. Let's, let's take a break. Wait, where, where's Palm, where, where's Palm Desert on the way to Palm Springs?

1:23:20 Drew It's past it kind of.

1:23:21 Adam Oh, it's past it.

1:23:22 It's past it, yeah. But Palm Springs is the home of the California date.

1:23:27 Adam Stop over at Hadley's, have a nice date shake. Have you had?

1:23:32 Drew They're good.

1:23:33 Adam Oh, man.

1:23:34 Drew Yeah, they're good.

1:23:35 Adam Yummy.

1:23:36 Sean Faris You would think, though, getting out there in all that heat, though, it turned into like foamy, nasty.

1:23:41 Drew Yeah, it's date runny shake.

1:23:43 Adam Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:23:45 Sean Faris It's not a very thick one, huh?

1:23:46 Adam No, it's a little thin out in the sun, but nice. Not as nice as that evil Longoria, though, by the way. That's hot. All right. Let's take a little break here. Sean Faris from Life As We Know It, 8 o'clock on ABC, and we'll be right back after this. Yeah, it's Loveline, Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Will Sasso is coming in here tomorrow night from Less Than Perfect. And you remember him from TV all those years. Funny guy, haven't seen him in a while. Sean Faris here tonight from Life Is We Know It, Thursday nights, 8 o'clock on ABC. All right, you ready to keep going?

1:24:37 Drew Here we go.

1:24:38 Adam We're going to speak to Melissa, who's 25. Melissa?

1:24:44 Drew Hello?

1:24:45 Adam Hello?

1:24:46 Caller Hi.

1:24:47 Adam What's happening?

1:24:48 Hi, Dr. Drew, hi, Adam.

1:24:49 Drew Hey, Melissa.

1:24:51 Um, I was just listening to-

1:24:52 Adam Wait, say hi to Sean.

1:24:54 Hi, Sean, sorry.

1:24:55 Sean Faris Hi, Melissa. It's all right. Don't worry about it.

1:24:57 Adam Tomorrow night on the show, Sean's going to lift his right eyebrow.

1:25:01 Caller That's just for you.

1:25:03 Adam You're cute and orgasm. Yeah, just for you. Yeah, what's up?

1:25:08 Um, I was listening to a girl that you talked to a couple of girls ago about childhood trauma and that's what you're attracted to in a man as you get older. And I was just wondering, is it trauma-specific? Because, um...

1:25:24 Drew Well, no, it's not because all women between about 18 and 22 have a phase where they go for guys that are sort of a-holes.

1:25:31 Adam Could be 18 and 26.

1:25:33 Drew Yeah, it could be a little stronger, longer, stretched out for some women. And it could start later for some women. But most women do go through a phase where they have to get sort of a fill of a-holes.

1:25:42 Adam But there's a-holes sort of, you know, cool guys who have a BS-ramp.

1:25:47 Sean Faris Yeah, there's the whole bad guy routine.

1:25:49 Adam We can see right through. And then there's the guys who have beaten the crap out of you. That's a different guy. You know, but there's not a woman alive that doesn't like a guy who's a little bit dangerous, a little bit aloof, a little bit mysterious.

1:26:01 Sean Faris Keeps them on their toes.

1:26:02 Adam That's right.

1:26:03 Right. And I've been just trying to figure out because I was with someone for a good amount of years and it turned out that he was just had issues, just had problems. Like what?

1:26:16 Drew What do you mean? What was happening?

1:26:17 Well, I didn't know it, but I guess for a while he was doing drugs behind my back and feeding on me.

1:26:25 Drew You know what? That doesn't make him an a-hole. That makes him an addict.

1:26:28 Well, no. Wait. And then it just partly do the drugs. Although when he claimed to be sober as well, he was abusive once, but twice, I think, out of the whole amount of years.

1:26:40 Adam Physically abusive, yeah.

1:26:42 Right. And I don't know. You know, I still...

1:26:47 Drew Well, Melissa, this is not a pattern of you being attracted to assholes. This is you getting attached to an alcoholic and hanging in with it.

1:26:55 That part I understood because my father is a recovering alcoholic.

1:26:59 Drew He's many years sober in AA. There you go. All that stuff.

1:27:02 So I understood that, but I never grew up seeing any kind of abuse.

1:27:10 Drew No, Melissa, you're making my point for me. This is not... You are not someone who's attracted to abusive a-holes. You are someone who's attracted to alcoholic addicts. And because you're co-dependent, you get in, you become sort of dismiss the behavior as you enable it in some way, and alcoholism addiction will progress, and they often become violent and nutty, and that's part of the addiction part. That's not you being attracted to the a-hole.

1:27:34 Adam She's not making your point in her mind because what she's saying is, is she never saw her dad in that state.

1:27:41 Drew But I'm saying...

1:27:42 But I never... He was not abusive to my mom or me.

1:27:45 Drew But Melissa, you're not hearing me. You're not hearing me. Part of the evolution of addiction is...

1:27:50 Adam You're so lucky, by the way. I've got to sit here and hear him all the time...

1:27:53 Drew .is chaos and violence. It's not that you're attracted to that. You're attracted to the addiction, and if you hang with an addict long enough, if they progress far enough, they will get this way.

1:28:02 Adam All right. So the point is, is that you did break up with him?

1:28:06 Yeah, but the main reason I'm calling is because there's still that urge in me even after the months have been. It's like I dismissed the bad stuff for some reason.

1:28:16 Drew Al-Anon, Melissa, Al-Anon. You've got to go to Al-Anon. You've got to go to Sponsor, you've got to work with the Steps. You must change internally, or you're going to keep, just like the person is attracted to the abusive guys, you're going to continue to be attracted to the alcoholic addicts.

1:28:27 Adam Every guy that never got fixed becomes a Moby Dick to women. I can underline the dick part, but you know what I'm saying? Guys don't have that, guys don't have the, I must fix her, I must change her. And for a woman, I think it almost feels like a failure sometimes. Like you got this project and you failed. And then it is like, it's the one that got away, it's the game they lost, and like the high school quarterback who loses the championship game, they just think about it for the rest of their career.

1:29:04 Drew It's making dad right once and for all. It's the love and attachment they feel for dad, that's who they love, that's the kind of person they love. The addiction and stuff only intensifies the need for attachment. They don't know how to get out of it.

1:29:18 Adam You know, I feel, I feel, I do think the good people of Washington DC are going to get more out of the accordion than this kind of general discourse we have. Do you know what I'm saying?

1:29:29 Drew I'm listening, I'm thinking, I'm trying to decide, I'm weighing it out. Yeah, it's a hard call.

1:29:33 Adam It is tough, Sean, what do you think?

1:29:35 Drew Well, they've made their choice, yeah.

1:29:38 Adam Right. Yes, Sean.

1:29:40 Sean Faris I'm actually really curious about, I've noticed that generally guys, whenever they find a girl that they like, they want her to stay exactly the way she is.

1:29:49 Adam Right.

1:29:50 Sean Faris Girls find a guy that they like, and then they want to change certain things about them to just make them a perfect guy. Yeah. And it's, I've seen it over and over again.

1:30:00 Drew No, here's what it is. They want, they want Tom Cruise and Cameron Crowe in the same guy. I mean, I mean Tom Hanks and Cameron Crowe in the same guy. And those are mutually exclusive human beings. They do not exist in the same male. Hold on a second.

1:30:12 Adam Wait a minute. You got your Cameron Crowe and your who?

1:30:16 Drew Tom Hanks.

1:30:17 Adam Tom Hanks? Why are they so different?

1:30:19 Drew I think, who am I thinking of?

1:30:20 Adam Oh, you, I think you're thinking of, you're thinking of the guy.

1:30:24 Drew I'm thinking of Tom Hanks.

1:30:25 Adam Yeah, you're thinking of Russell Crowe.

1:30:27 Drew Russell Crowe.

1:30:28 Adam I speak fluent Drew.

1:30:30 Drew Thank you.

1:30:30 Adam And I speak some Tar.

1:30:32 Drew Yes, and those are very closely related languages.

1:30:34 Adam Yeah, because unfortunately, Cameron Crowe and Tom Hanks are about the same guy. Yeah, Russell Crowe, you want Russell Crowe, you want the swashbuckling, a drunken, brawling, punch out the paparazzi.

1:30:48 Drew And Tom Hanks, and the same guy. Yes, you want to take the Russell Crowe and convert him into a Tom Hanks.

1:30:53 Adam That's right.

1:30:54 Drew That's their impulse.

1:30:55 Adam That's what you want to do.

1:30:56 Sean Faris Is it something to do with that, or is it?

1:30:59 Drew They're attracted to this sort of alpha male qualities, but they can't live with it. So they got to get it, and they got to hold on to it, and then convert it into something that's livable.

1:31:06 Adam Really, for guys, if it was a car sort of thing, it's like they want a Ferrari that is essentially a Camry.

1:31:13 Drew Exactly.

1:31:14 Adam They want the excitement, they want the high revving, they want the performance, they want to turn heads and everything. But they don't want to deal with the breaking down, they don't want to deal with the cost of maintenance, they don't want to deal with all this stuff. So once they do get the Ferrari finally landed, well, the Ferrari is going to cheat on you with your friend, the Ferrari is going to come home drunk, the Ferrari is going to make these announcements, look, you don't like it, get out. That kind of stuff. So if we can slowly turn that guy into a Camry, then we got the Ferrari with the Camry reliability.

1:31:44 Sean Faris Oftentimes they do.

1:31:45 Adam The only way that works is if the Ferrari gets fat and starts losing hair, and eventually gets fat and he starts on his hair and he's like screw it, he starts getting high levels of circulating estrogen and stuff like that and he starts behaving like a Camry. But then he starts looking like a Camry too, is that the Ferrari?

1:32:01 Drew Feeling like a Camry.

1:32:02 Adam Feeling like a Camry. All right, where are we talking about cars?

1:32:06 Drew That we're Camry. No, we feel like Camrys.

1:32:07 Adam What are you, I see you as a beige tourist wagon with an AM radio.

1:32:12 Drew Oh, no, come on. Yeah. Please.

1:32:14 Adam Maybe an 8-track.

1:32:15 Drew Where does the passion fit in that car?

1:32:18 Sean Faris Oh, yeah, you gotta leave room for the passion.

1:32:20 Adam Who rapes smaller cars?

1:32:21 Sean Faris Actually, you put him in a wagon, he's got room in the back.

1:32:23 Adam That's right. Fold that seat down.

1:32:25 Sean Faris We're gonna break.

1:32:26 Adam We'll be right back after this. Come here, buddy. Well, that's the show. Life As We Know It, 8 o'clock on Thursday Nights, ABC. Sean, God love you, God bless you.

1:32:47 Sean Faris Hey, thank you guys for having me on the show. It was a pleasure.

1:32:49 Adam Expect big things out of this kid, Drew.

1:32:51 Drew Expect, he's already there.

1:32:52 Sean Faris Keep an eye out, keep an eye out.

1:32:52 Adam Well, I mean, I mean bigger. No, no, that just brings-

1:32:55 Drew Continued big things.

1:32:56 Adam Continued big things. No, but I'm talking about like Tom Cruise type of success.

1:32:59 Drew Huge things, all right, huge things, all right.

1:33:00 Adam Or she would say Cameron Diaz type of success. Or whoever, whoever, whoever, whoever, whoever the hell you are. Jim Crow type of success. Here's the point, don't cop an attitude with us, you know, when you're, you know, Mr. Box Office and all that crap. You come back, you remember where you started.

1:33:15 Sean Faris Hey, I'd be more than happy to come back on.

1:33:16 Adam Get even on Gory. I'll come in with you next time too.

1:33:19 Sean Faris Is that my ticket in?

1:33:20 Adam No, no, but it's gonna help, it's gonna help. We'll take a little 22 hour break and until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahala.

1:33:29 Sean Faris I'm doing the eyebrow for you, honey.

1:33:31 This has been Loveline.

1:33:35 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, January 12, 2005