Episode 1000672660639

1:27 Adam Board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, removes tats off prisoners with lasers, and then takes years off the pusses of Beverly Hills chicks with the same laser. What versatility? Dr. Bruce knows emergency medicine, addiction medicine, so if he rockers ODs tonight, Bruce will be there, or if you need a tat of an ex, some chicken you met on the road, burned off you, Bruce will be there.

1:54 Drew They look more sober than you, Adam.

1:56 Adam I know. I know. I think they're like those hard-edged guys. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Bruce Filman for Drew. Just one more night. Brad Mike here from Linkin Park. Doug here from Hoobastank. Last minute. The reason these guys are here is to talk about the tsunami and the relief effort. I may screw up some things because we just got started, but I had heard that Linkin Park had ponied up 100 grand, which I thought was very impressive just the other day. And I'm guessing Hoobastank is now involved as well as other bands?

2:34 Guest Yeah, we ponied up 101 grand.

2:36 Drew 101?

2:38 Guest We waited to see what they were going to pitch in and then, you know.

2:41 Adam And who else is involved and how does it work? We'll give you some phone numbers or some web addresses and all that stuff, and you can dig deep and donate yourself. So let's just talk about the project in the first place. What's it called and how do people get involved?

2:59 Guest Okay, I'll break it down from the get go so everyone fully understands what we're talking about. This is Brad, by the way. Not to be confused with these other clowns. Right. We in Linkin Park have actually had the opportunity to play all over the world and in particular we've had amazing experiences in South Asia, Southeast Asia. So when we saw the devastation on the news, it really hit home.

3:28 Adam So you've played in the play, at least nearby the places?

3:31 Guest We've played in Malaysia, we've played in Thailand, we've played in Indonesia.

3:36 Adam Really?

3:36 Guest Yeah, so we've pretty much seen where these places are and it's easy to just feel like, I was telling Doug, because Hoobastank has been there as well, I think it's easy to just think, oh that's somewhere else, that doesn't really affect me.

3:48 Adam Yeah.

3:49 Guest But we've been there and those people are people just like us. So what we did is we made a donation to the Red Cross, who we've worked with before, and we actually started an organization called Music for Relief. And the idea behind it is, let's try to put together almost like a coalition of artists who really care about raising the emergency funds that the Red Cross needs to get, you know, the water issues, the medicine, get all the aid to these people, but also get their fans involved as well. So it's really been a collective effort in the music industry.

4:24 Adam And by the way, I know a lot of people think it's that sort of, I don't know, between the sort of act of God part and the people I'm not too familiar with part, it's easy to sort of, it doesn't come home like 9-11 kind of stuff. And I don't know, just in a weird sort of humanistic, philosophical kind of way, I don't think the act of God stuff elicits enough sympathy from people. Do you know what I mean? I mean, maybe I'm just making this up, but it's like, oh, if a terrorist had hit them, everyone would immediately rally.

4:57 Guest It's because you got someone to get angry at.

4:59 Adam Right. If an earthquake did it or a volcano went off, it's kind of like, well, they must have angered the ocean god, you know, it's a weird. I know it's a weird, like primitive, primitive thought. And I and and I'm sort of guilty of it myself. It's like it's like, oh, thank God it wasn't a terrorist attack. But just as many bodies are in the ground and just as many people are without water, without medicine and whatever. I actually much more, I would say.

5:25 Drew So I think the timing is great with these guys, too, because now is when people really have to be prodded, because especially with the kids over there, there are all these diseases that are going to start just creeping in cholera and amoebic dysentery. And these are things that hit kids particularly hard.

5:39 Guest Yeah, if you can even imagine like, you know, how many sick there are out there right now. And the fact that one of the main problems is just clean water. If you went to a hospital and they didn't have clean water to wash the things that they're using or their patients, it's like, it's a horrible thing. And that's part of the reason why we're so glad that everybody jumped in so quickly.

6:00 Adam What is it they need the most of besides just money?

6:03 Guest Well, they actually need just money.

6:05 Adam That's it. The problem...

6:06 Guest Because they need so many things.

6:07 Guest A lot of times people say, I want to give blankets or canned goods or whatnot. But those actually carry hidden costs that make it more cumbersome for the relief workers to actually get what they need to the people who need it. So by giving them cash, it allows the experts that are actually there on the ground to take that and get exactly what they need to the people who need it the fastest.

6:26 Adam And is the Red Cross the best way to go about that?

6:30 Guest Well, they're an agency that's extremely well respected around the world. And we've worked with the Red Cross after September 11 and also after Hurricane Charlie. So we really feel confident with them. That's why we've partnered with them to create music for relief.

6:43 Adam You do hear about these stories of these unscrupulous guys coming about and starting bogus websites and ripping people off. And I just think to myself, first off, cosmically, where does that put you? You've just, you know, some chicken, Iowa raised a bunch of money from her school, from her third grade class, and they sent it to you so you could get new Kirk or Pipe for your jet ski. Cosmically, where does that put you? But like, I always wonder just how these guys operate sort of emotionally. Like, I don't think they look in the mirror and go, man, am I a horrible person? I think they go like, hey man, if you're stupid enough, then you deserve her. Who is that guy? Like, I understand the guy that steals the pie that's cooling on the, you know, he's stoning, he's taking a walk and he smells some of Aunt B's apple pie. He goes and gets them, but the guy's going to rip off and build people based on 9-11 or based on some hurricane or based on a tsunami. I mean, what kind of, I mean, is that, is that worse? I mean, are you the worst? Is there anyone worse than you in that case?

7:46 Drew Child exploiters, those are the worst.

7:47 Adam Oh, yeah?

7:48 Guest Yeah.

7:48 Adam All right.

7:49 Drew I think when I see what's happening with the people that are going into these camps, refugee camps and trying to get kids out for the slave trade and things like this, it's when people take advantage of children and it ties into helping, the helping that you're doing.

8:01 Guest People are very vulnerable right now and that's why, as you said, it's so important not just to give, but to give immediately because they need help right now.

8:12 Adam What is the long-term sort of prognosis? I mean, what is the plans? Are we just in cleanup mode right now and then start trying to control any outbreaks of disease?

8:22 Drew Right. It's like the guys are saying, hitting it on the head is water, pure water and sanitation because the type of problems, cholera is spread by impure water and it causes dehydration and it's as simple as having, getting the water purification going, getting the sanitation systems back in place and then IV fluids for the dehydration that these diseases cause is almost immediately effective in saving lives.

8:45 Adam Then I heard there was a typhoon like blowing through there as well, as if they didn't have a ass full of water already, then like a hurricane or some sort of at least major storm hit, like the following week and by the way, I don't know anything about that region other than a friend of mine said, she went to Thailand a couple of months back and said, amazing, beautiful, beautiful people, everyone's great, food's good. Yeah, so I said, all right, I've never been there, but now I want to go, but I like to clean it up actually, and then I'm heading over. Are you guys going out? Are there any plans? Is there benefit concerts? Anything we want to plug?

9:25 Guest I don't know if there's, I mean, I don't know. Go ahead.

9:27 Guest Look, look, look, look, look, go ahead. I won't, I'm sorry, go ahead.

9:30 Guest You sure? It might be really important.

9:32 Guest I'll hold your hand while you talk.

9:33 Guest Okay, thanks, man. Actually, we are going not for anything, like officially or originally, that was going to be a benefit to, thanks, Brad, he's holding my hand, to Bangkok first week of February. Originally, it was just for the MTV Asia Awards. But after speaking with the producers and people who are putting it on, they are going to turn it into a benefit. So, it's just going to be interesting to be there again. We were there in Bangkok a couple of years ago, and like Brad said, we've all been there recently. I know.

10:07 Guest It's awesome there.

10:09 Guest Yeah, it's an amazing place. But yeah, that's the question. That's why we're going there and it's going to be benefit.

10:15 Adam All right. So let's give some like, we should we give a website?

10:19 Guest Yeah, it's real simple, Mike. You want to tell them what?

10:21 Guest Yeah, it's really simple. We made it easy for everybody. It's just musicforeleaf.org. No spaces, no slashes, just musicforeleaf.org. And Ed, there are links to just about everything you need. There are some news clips and ways to donate, addresses you can send checks to and how to do that. Pretty much everything you need is right there.

10:42 Guest And also you can call the Red Cross's main 800 number, which is 1-800-HELP-NOW. And if you press number two, it'll actually take you to the Music for Relief. And the money that Music for Relief raises goes to the International Response Fund, which is money set aside specifically to helping the Quakin Tsunami victims.

11:01 Adam Right. So whatever money you give is going there.

11:03 Guest Exactly.

11:04 Adam All right. It's not going up the nose of some oil baron in the Middle East. So much of it does, Drew. I mean Bruce. Yeah, that's a good sign. Yeah.

11:15 Drew You're right on.

11:15 Adam Yeah. When I call Drew Bruce, he just clutches at his heart like Fred Sanford. He goes, I'm coming to his ex-wife.

11:24 Drew All right.

11:24 Adam Let's take some calls. It is, you know, timing wise, again, another point, but having a major thing happen around the holidays where people are a little softened up and certain in that reflective mode is probably a good time. You don't want to do, you don't want to like something to hit in June. Everyone's on vacation. No one gives a rat's ass. People are drunk. Holidays, you're just sitting around and you're going, man, you're right. I have it so good, you know, it is true. We do have it so much better than the rest of the world. Let me just say this on another cosmic point in terms of giving. People think if they give something to somebody, they're going to have less. But I was really thinking about the handful of guys. Talking to an old buddy of mine from North Hollywood, my first roommate, a guy I've known for 25 years. I said, let's think of the two guys we know who give the least, and mention their names over the years, Dave and Ray. You probably met both of them. Those guys have given the least. Anyone I know and all the guys and all the buddies and everyone, and they have the least. This is just over the course of 25 years. The guys I know, and Jimmy Kimmel is one of them. That's right. I'm not just kissing celebrity ass. The guy is a generous guy, and was generous long before he had any money, when he was just driving a beat up RX-7 and working on K-Rock. He was a very generous guy, wasn't making any money, he was very generous. He has the most, and he clearly by far and away gives away the most and always has. So there's a connection between the guys who give it away and the guys who get the most. And it's not some sort of weird Cosmic John Lennon thing. It's just is. It's almost a weird sort of inverse math equation. The people I know that are the most generous are the people that have the most and the people that are always looking out for number one, looking for an angle and trying to rip somebody off have nothing.

13:11 Guest Adam, can I throw some out there? If anybody is, if Jimmy, I didn't know that about Jimmy, if Jimmy's listening or if anybody who knows Jimmy's listening and he hasn't already donated to a fund, Jimmy, call in now. Call us now and let us know that you're going to be a part of this. We are, like we've been saying, it just started up and time is of the essence.

13:31 Adam So, he's a big network guy.

13:33 Guest Mike has now posed a challenge to Jimmy.

13:35 Guest I'm challenging you, Jimmy. I'm calling you out. It'd be cool if he just called.

13:42 Adam That's him doing me. Yeah.

13:45 Drew That's pretty good.

13:45 Adam Well, yeah. He's got the divorce coming up, so things are a little bit tighter than they normally are. You know, talk about giving, by the way.

13:55 Guest He's not in the giving mood.

13:56 Guest Until it hurts.

13:58 It's got to hurt.

13:59 Adam Yeah. But yeah, Jimmy, if you're listening, buddy, give a call, make a pledge.

14:04 Guest Yeah.

14:04 Adam Everyone, make a pledge tonight.

14:06 All right.

14:06 Adam Let's start by speaking to Peter, who's 23. Peter? Hey, Adam.

14:13 How are you doing?

14:14 Adam 23. What's up? Yeah.

14:15 How are you doing? First of all, I think Linkin Park, they're in the studio.

14:20 Guest Yes, sir.

14:22 Adam And Hoobastank.

14:23 Okay. Great. I'm a big fan. You guys need to come to New Orleans. Anyway, listen, Adam, I had a question. Okay. Loveline is like a program where people can call in and discuss their problems and get medical responses and advice, correct?

14:39 Adam Let me explain something. It's so easy to hang up on Peter right now. But callers, critical callers to me are like a loose tooth that I can't stop flicking with my tongue. You know what I mean? It hurts. I know it's coming. I know where this is going. Yeah. His question is scratching and itching. Wants to know if it's VD. Obviously, it's a critique of the show. And here's the thing. We should just out of principle hang up on him because it's not the call that he said it was, but it said tooth. I can't stop flicking it. Yes, Peter. I'm so secure. I'm going to let you finish your point.

15:13 Caller Okay. And you know, I appreciate you not hanging up and that's very professional.

15:17 Adam And I am a pro. Yes.

15:18 Caller Okay. Listen, I know that you're a comedian. You got to do your comical part. It's part of the deal. It's part of the show. But if you could just maybe let the doctor get a little more input in and maybe have more of serious conversations, not that you're not doing a good job. You're doing a great job.

15:35 Adam Listen, I would. Here's the deal. And especially with Drew, we figured it out. We both get paid the same, except for I average getting paid about $4 a syllable. And Drew gets $1,856 a syllable. You know what I'm saying? At the end, we get the same paycheck. It's just I talk 25 times as much as he does. So I'm actually doing all the heavy lifting. I don't mind sitting back and letting Drew bore people for a while. And I have no problem with it and I would love to. I would love to talk less. Believe it or not, I would love to talk less. But the show starts to settle and even drag a little bit. And that's what I'm worried about.

16:14 Drew Yeah. All right.

16:15 Adam And let me just be fair to me one more time. When David Alan Greer comes in here, first off, Adam Carolla, one of the most generous guys I know. When David Alan Greer comes in here, he talks his ass off and I barely say one word because David Alan Greer is funny. David Alan Greer is entertaining and he's talking and you can't shut him up and you can't shut him up. But I don't talk if we get a guy in here who wants to start yapping and once that every 55 guests, Steve Oh comes in here when lights is nutsack on fire. And he's beat up on like percocets or something and he never stops talking. He can talk. All right? All right.

16:53 Drew I'm going to-

16:54 Guest So that was the question?

16:55 Drew That was the call. I don't know what the question was. We got to-

16:58 Adam Bruce, you want to handle this one?

17:00 Drew Set me up.

17:01 Adam All right. Here we go. Sandy.

17:04 Hi.

17:05 Adam Talk to Bruce.

17:06 Say hi to all of you guys. Linkin Park and we will think of a concert in February in San francisco. It was awesome. Thank you. My question is, I wanted to know when is it the right time to start having sex in a relationship? Because I went out with a guy.

17:25 Guest Four-thirty.

17:32 And I was digging him. I really liked him. And he liked me, so we did it after a week. And obviously, things didn't turn out too great afterwards. Why? Because it was all wrong.

17:48 Adam She's seventeen.

17:49 Drew Yeah.

17:51 Adam Here's the thing. You can have sex on the first date, get married and live happily ever after. It lowers.

17:58 Drew Unlikely, but.

18:00 Adam It's a little more unlikely, but that's not to kiss the death. I mean, there's no hard, fast rule. And when you get it on, I think whenever it feels right.

18:08 Drew You're seventeen, you have sex.

18:09 Adam The younger you are, the longer you should string that out. By the time you get in your eighties, you don't even come into the house on a date. You just put your pecker through the mail slot and you start banging on the door. Start sucking. Just yell through that peephole. Oh yeah. So when you see the walker moving toward the door, that's or the dog.

18:30 Drew This is what Peter's talking.

18:31 Adam All right. So Sandy, she's seventeen. She should slow it down.

18:35 Drew But she wants some guidelines.

18:37 Adam All right.

18:38 Drew So could we do that?

18:39 Adam How many dates? What do you guys think?

18:40 Drew How many dates?

18:41 Guest Seventeen? Seventeen. It sounds like she already knows. She kind of has an idea of the answer, though.

18:46 Adam Well, she did it after a week and it fell apart.

18:49 The thing is, I learned from my experience. I learned that one week it didn't turn out good, so I shouldn't do that. But I have no idea when. Because I don't know.

18:59 Drew Generally, when sex is based on intimacy, things go a lot better. And if you find the guy's real hot.

19:08 I've never been really that intimate or maybe I just don't know what the difference is.

19:14 Drew Here's the thing, it's 17, going for real intimacy is sort of a waste of time. You should be dating and having a good time. But once you start having sex, you change the whole dynamic of the relationship. And if you wanted to get to know the guy better and you wanted to develop a friendship, it ain't going to happen. Once you start having sex, things stop in other areas in terms of developing feelings for the person as a friend.

19:37 Adam Now, that's why guys that get laid at 15 are stupid because that's it. They'll be no more learning.

19:43 Guest It's true that guys enjoy the whole chase of it, you know, and then as much as some guys may not like want to admit it, but like, you know, if they get it too soon, they just lose interest, you know, especially a 17 year old. Come on.

19:55 Adam Yeah.

19:56 Drew You're not going for the marriage.

19:57 Guest Right. At least the guys not.

19:59 Adam No, this guy's probably 38 though. Sandy.

20:02 Drew Yeah.

20:02 Adam How old was this guy?

20:04 Drew He's 20.

20:05 Adam 20. Yeah. When a 20 is dating a 17 year old, he's usually just looking to get laid anyway.

20:11 Drew Oh, absolutely. Well, he's not looking for good conversation.

20:13 Adam I don't think so.

20:13 That's all my friends told me.

20:15 Adam All right. Well, you got to listen to all your friends.

20:18 All right. Yeah, I should.

20:20 Adam All right. Well, Sandy, here's the deal. You sound kind of immature and that's fine. You're only 17, but you seem a little saucer-eyed. Yeah. And the world's your oyster. Everything's new and exciting. So here's what you need to do. Slow down a little. You're moving a little too fast.

20:40 Caller Yeah, I know.

20:41 Adam All right.

20:42 Drew Go out with guys your own age.

20:43 Caller It's really hard. I don't know. Goddamn hormones.

20:48 Caller Hormones.

20:49 Adam Wow.

20:49 Guest That's what I always say.

20:51 Drew Yeah. Then you want to have dad around to sort of eyeball these guys.

20:58 Adam You don't have a dad.

20:59 Caller My dad's never been around. And like I totally have these urges to be on men. And I know it's because of that.

21:05 Adam Like, yeah. All right. Well, there it is.

21:08 Caller I don't know what to do about it, though. Like I have I really want like I need men. But I don't know how to get it the right way. Because, you know, the way I do it, I sleep with them. But I know it's not the right way to feel the connection I want. But I don't know what to do about it.

21:21 Drew If you stop it all right now and see, I mean, you know, I know we say see a therapist, see a therapist, but there are good reasons for that, because left to yourself, you're not going to do anything but what you know to do from what you've been through. And your experience with men, it's going to lead you right into the thing.

21:34 Adam Well, here's the thing, too, is there is a never ending supply of 19 year old guys with boners and El Camino. And not in that order.

21:45 Drew Right.

21:46 Adam Oh, maybe in that order. Yeah.

21:47 Drew Yeah.

21:48 Adam The point is, is how, you know, we always talk about this, which is if you're a 16, 17 year old girl, your dad abandon you, everyone becomes daddy, you have many issues surrounding men, all of a sudden, you wake up, you're 15, you got a C cup going, and guys are checking you out at the mall. What are you supposed to do? School is boring, everything else sucks, your mom's busy with work and her new boyfriend who you don't like, and all of a sudden, you're the belle of the ball. And so you start going out with these guys, and these guys aren't great guys because you don't know any better. You're 16, you're 15, you're 17, they're 21, 22, 23. They're losers, but because they're five years older than you, you look at them as deities. They come around, they use you up, your self-esteem diminishes. And as your self-esteem diminishes, you start going out with worse guys more often, trying to fill a void.

22:37 Drew Yeah.

22:38 Adam Wow, that was good.

22:39 Guest That was amazing. I was just going, wow, he's got this all thought out.

22:42 Adam Yeah, maybe I should talk more. That's it. That's my pledge in the new year to talk more.

22:47 Drew Right.

22:48 Adam Yeah, and judge. That's my resolution.

22:52 Drew But also Sandy, do something for somebody else. I mean, this is a great night to talk about getting together with friends, not looking at how you can please yourself, not looking at get together and form some sort of a group, get some donations going for the tsunami thing. Start doing some things for other people.

23:07 Adam I really, she's got to get together with a few guys, have sex, get drunk, fall, pass out.

23:14 Drew Okay.

23:15 Adam No, but it is, I know it sounds trite and ridiculous, but seriously, getting together and getting some money and doing something from somebody else. I was a Catholic big brother for a while, far before any quasi-celebrity came to my life. I was a Catholic big brother, and I remember I got sucked into it, like a friend of a friend, and next thing you know, I'm at a meeting, and next thing you know, boom, they give me a kid, and it was like, he lives far away, and I got to see him every Sunday, and I got to buy the taco Bell and stuff. It was rewarding. It was the best thing I ever did. It really was.

23:47 Drew I got roped into the same thing.

23:48 Adam You did?

23:48 Drew Yes. First year of medical school.

23:50 Adam I recognize you. You were my kid. Put that wind up beanie on. Lick that giant lollipop.

23:56 Drew It was successful. No, but it was a great thing.

23:59 Adam It was.

23:59 Drew It changed.

24:00 Adam And it takes time, but people that get a lot done have plenty of time or are able to get things done, and it does something for you. And again, you hear the cliches, better to give than to receive and all that kind of stuff, but it really is important. And by the way, if look at any loser, find any loser, find any guys living in a crappy one bedroom and he's in his 40s or living at home or got a car with a bunch of primer and Bondo on it or doesn't have insurance or doesn't have a hot wife or any other, any other. Find a loser. I'll find you a guy who gives nothing. I'll find a guy who gives zero, whose favorite charity is themselves. That's the guy. Find me guys got everything. I'll show you a guy who finds time to donate. Look at the correlation. And it's not just about money. It's not, well, of course, the guy has a crappy job. He doesn't. No, you don't look. I didn't have any money when I was a Catholic big brother. Doesn't cost any money. Just spend a couple hours on a weekend. That's all. You show me guy has nothing. I'll show you guy gives nothing. All right.

24:57 Drew Absolutely.

24:58 Adam Forget about the tsunami victims. This is for you. This is a selfish act. You should give money.

25:04 Drew And you are a millionaire.

25:05 Adam I'm literally a millionaire. Yeah. I may have to kick over something too. Thanks for bringing that up, by the way.

25:12 Drew Quite welcome.

25:12 Adam We will and by the way, do as I do as I say, not as I do. That's that's another that's another adage I like. Linkin Park represented here tonight. Also Hoobastank here talking about the relief for the tsunami victims. You can go to the Red Cross. You can go to the website, which is www.musicforeleaf.org. Just one word musicforeleaf.org. Make your contribution or call 1-800-HELP-NOW. 1-800-HELP-NOW will be right back after this. There, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Bruce, filming from Dr. Drew, doing an adequate job. I'll give him a five. Drew will be back tomorrow night, along with Crystal Method, Brad Mike here tonight from Linkin Park, Doug from Hoobastank. And tonight, getting involved with the Tsunami Relief, and if you want to make a donation to that very worthy cause, you can just go to www.musicforeleaf.org. All right. Or you just call the Red Cross. And 1-800-HELP-NOW is the Red Cross number. They will happily accept your donation.

26:44 Guest You know, Adam, I'm really, really stoked that during the break, you pulled Mike and me aside and told us how much you're planning on giving to Music for Relief. And I know you're going to probably wait till later in the show to keep people tuned in, to let them know. I am. But I want to say it was extremely generous.

27:03 Guest Thank you.

27:05 Guest We really, really thank you. You know, it was just extremely generous.

27:09 Guest You must be a very, very rich man. Because like you were saying, if you give a lot, you must have a lot.

27:14 Guest So you really practice what you preach.

27:16 Adam Well, I don't want to give anything away. And the reason I pulled you aside off the air is because I don't like to talk about myself on the air. I, you know, my job is sort of conductor. You know, I move the calls along. I get the information to the kids. I help the kids. I don't fill a bus. I don't talk about myself. I don't get personal stories. Those who listen to the show know. I'm lucky if they know where I come from or who my parents are, any of that stuff. And I don't like to talk about myself again. So I didn't want you to talk about it on the air. But then I won't say how much exactly just yet, but I'll give you a clue. It is at least what you put into that vending machine. And then some, and then some. And I'm talking at least, could be, could be. And by the way, anyone who's seen what came out, we got Cokes, we got Cookies, we got a Snickers bar. It is going to be at least that, and then some. All right, Bruce.

28:16 Drew Yes.

28:16 Adam You, your job, your only job really is to get me coffee and pick the calls.

28:21 Drew I picked number six. You're one for two. I poked at it and you.

28:24 Adam You poked at it, but remember the sticker plan?

28:26 Drew I put it there.

28:27 Adam Yes.

28:27 Drew You moved it three times since I put it on six.

28:29 Adam Really?

28:30 Drew Yeah.

28:30 Caller All right.

28:31 Adam Mike?

28:33 Yeah.

28:33 Adam I'm calling you a liar, Bruce. You're 17?

28:37 Drew Yep.

28:38 Adam What's up?

28:41 Not a whole lot.

28:41 Caller How are you guys doing?

28:42 All right.

28:43 Adam Hold on a second. First off, never talk to dudes. That's the one thing I've learned from doing this show. Don't talk to 17-year-old guys. I know, but it's like a train. It's like the brakes locking up on a freight train, just sparks sailing out. Mike, we'll talk to you in a minute, but there's no chicks. Could Sam be a chick? Michelle.

29:04 Drew We can help her.

29:05 Adam Michelle.

29:07 Hey, what's up?

29:08 Adam You're 21?

29:09 Caller Yes, I am.

29:10 Adam What's up?

29:12 Caller I have a question for Dr. Bruce. I really love sex and joy and everything, but I cannot seem to have an orgasm. I've tried it on my own, messed with myself, doing all that, and I just can't. I know I've been really close like the guy I'm with. I've been with him for a couple of years and I'm comfortable with him. But it's like when I get to that point, I'm close, I can't and then I don't really freak out, but I just kind of like, okay, let's stop.

29:44 Adam Yeah. You're all up in your head.

29:46 Drew Yeah. It's very common for women in their 20s not to be an orgasmic, not to have orgasms, and it's not related to a disorder of any sort.

29:57 Adam But I've found it goes from the mid-teens to just past menopause, in terms of the age range of women who have almost no ability to orgasm.

30:08 Drew Seriously, a significant percentage of women in their 20s don't have orgasms, and that will change.

30:12 Adam What about oral sex? Does he give you oral sex?

30:15 Caller Yes, he does.

30:16 Adam Then you get close?

30:18 Caller Yeah, I get really close. Then I don't know, I just stop. I don't know what it is.

30:25 Adam The only thing I can liken that to is a guy is when once in a while you get drunk and you try to pull the hat trick off. You know, you got some time to kill. Maybe like, remember when you're in high school and you took a sick day and you just went at yourself like a maniac for like an afternoon?

30:42 Guest Do you ever used to play games like that? I got a friend.

30:44 Adam Yeah.

30:47 Guest A friend. You know who he is, who I've caught a few times doing this on his lunch break or sick days, whatever. He would be playing Nintendo and stuff like that. And like you challenge himself. Like if you beat the level, you gotta do it.

31:04 Adam Oh, like a drinking game.

31:05 Guest Yeah, basically. That was it.

31:07 Adam Wow.

31:07 Guest I know what you're talking about.

31:09 Adam Yeah, really?

31:10 Guest We went to high school together.

31:12 Adam What was the, what was the, what was it? And what would like when you do the drinking games, you watch like Bob Newhart. I like this. It's a new challenge, right? Like I could do it on the road. Like if I make this light, I got to squeeze it out.

31:26 Guest A little, okay.

31:28 Guest Yeah. Oh, it's kind of like that. It was, it was for old Nintendo. You remember the Kung Fu game, right? When you just go like right across the screen and you beat things up every time you went up the stairs.

31:37 Guest Those are short levels.

31:38 Guest I know. Oh my God. It was a sick day, man.

31:42 Adam Yeah.

31:42 Guest Sick, sick.

31:43 Guest And just think about this. She said she loves sex a lot right now. Think about how much she's going to like it when she can orgasm.

31:49 Adam Yeah, I know. Women are amazing. They can, they go, they can have sex. Like I got a boyfriend. They go at it for twice a day for three years. No orgasms. Guy, by the way, fifth or sixth try, no orgasm. I'm quitting whatever it is.

32:02 Drew Different mentality.

32:03 Adam I don't care what it is. I don't get an orgasm. I'm going home.

32:06 Drew Right.

32:06 Adam That's my mentality.

32:08 Guest Anywhere.

32:08 Adam Yeah. Anywhere. Restaurants, ballgames, work. It doesn't matter. If I don't see some, if I don't cash in, and I mean now, brother, I'm out of here. I'll be staying for the next hour. All right. Let's talk to Michelle. Michelle? Yeah. So you're all up in your head. You're pushing too hard. You're only 21. You got to relax and let it come out of you. If you try to squeeze it out, it's not like giving birth to an orgasm. It's more like a tampon got wedged in there sideways or something. You got to relax.

32:41 Drew You're comfortable with your partner. Yes. Have you talked about this?

32:47 Caller Yes.

32:48 Drew You feel like he's familiar enough with female anatomy to understand the way things-

32:53 Adam He does a good job?

32:55 Caller Yes, he does a good job. It's me who then will freak out or be like, okay, hey, let's stop.

33:01 Adam All right. We'll just take it slow. What about a glass of red wine?

33:05 Caller Glass of red wine?

33:07 Adam Yeah. Loosen you up a little.

33:09 Caller It doesn't work. I don't know.

33:12 Drew But once you get into the whole mindset of starting to feel anxious and focusing on the inability to have the orgasm, it really makes it much less likely that that's going to happen. To realize, for some reason, especially teenage girls, when they're focused in on a problem like this and women in their 20s, it doesn't mean you have a psychological problem or a mechanical problem. It's very common not to have orgasms.

33:37 Adam But don't push. Yeah. Like I said, as a guy, the only thing I could think of the equivalent would be that going for the third in the afternoon.

33:46 Drew There is no equivalent.

33:47 Adam Get the calf cramp going and you're pushing too hard and then in a second you go either way. Then if you push too hard, it can screw the whole deal up for you. I have a little something called grit though, and I'm usually able to come out on the happy side. Sam?

34:07 Yeah.

34:08 Adam You're 16?

34:09 Caller Yes, I am. Wow. Adam, you're my hero, man.

34:13 Adam Thank you. We're just talking about masturbation and that's what your question is.

34:16 Caller Yes, it is, my friend. Wow.

34:18 Adam All right, what is it?

34:19 Caller I call you my friend.

34:19 I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

34:21 Adam No, you may. Go ahead. All right.

34:23 Caller Hey, so I'm pretty regular about that sort of thing, you know, pretty much every day. But the thing was I had lit up for about three days over the weekend and went back at it. And everything went fine. And then some yellow gelatinous balls started. Like they were like mass came out.

34:52 Drew It was very, I mean, it's perfectly liquid, but perfectly normal. Sometimes even something called hematosporemia. You can have blood in your sperm. It does not necessarily mean there's a problem. But really, yeah, from clear, clearish to...

35:05 Adam What's the yellow? Is yellow an infection?

35:09 Drew Well, it can be, but not typically.

35:11 Adam But everyone always calls in and asks about consistency. That doesn't make a difference, does it?

35:15 Drew No, consistency has to do with... There are many variables that would affect that. Just like people call in and ask about what foods they can eat to alter the taste of the sperm. There are many sort of urban myths about this. But if you have a yellow gist...

35:30 Adam Don't hold back on it. Come on.

35:32 Drew I don't have any special information.

35:33 Adam I know it's a little garlic bacon.

35:36 Drew Yeah, that would definitely do the trick, give you a special taste.

35:38 Adam What do you think? I don't want to know what makes it good. I want to know what makes it bad. You know what I mean? I'll stay away from that.

35:44 Drew I should never have gone down that road.

35:46 Adam I don't need to be like some sort of like vanilla soft swirl coming out of me. But I just don't want it to be rank.

35:53 Drew You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I really don't have any information on that. But yellow discharge is a problem. Yellow sperm or yellow... That's not a problem when you use it.

36:02 Adam So if it's leaking yellow, you got an infection.

36:05 Drew Absolutely burning when you urinate.

36:06 Adam But if the batch is yellow, you're fine.

36:08 Drew Right.

36:08 Adam Okay.

36:10 Guest Good to know.

36:11 Adam Yeah. I'm going to go test during the commercial. You want to talk to Alana?

36:16 Guest Yeah.

36:17 Adam Alana?

36:18 Caller Yes.

36:19 Adam You're 15?

36:20 Caller Yes, I am.

36:21 Adam What's up?

36:22 Caller Well, I am on to talk to Linkin Park.

36:25 Caller Hi, guys.

36:27 Guest Hi.

36:28 Caller I was wondering which one of you thought of Music for Release because it's just a wonderful idea and it's so generous. I want to thank you guys so much.

36:39 Guest Well, I'm going to call Brad out because he normally won't call himself. He won't pat himself on the back, but he definitely, just being on the holiday break and whatnot, everybody's seeing this stuff on the news and thinking how horrible it is. I know Brad was on a vacation as well, but he called everybody up and said, I can't believe this, we need to do something. I don't want to just point the finger to Brad. I also want to mention that there's a lot of other groups. If you check out the site soon, we're hopefully going to have, Brad, is this correct? We're going to have the other groups names up.

37:14 Guest Yeah, we can mention some tonight.

37:16 Guest I actually have a list too, just so the listeners know. Besides Hoobastank and ourselves, we got Jay-Z, Korn, 311, Michelle Branch, Inspector Deck of Wu-Tang Clan, Stained, Hoobastank, Puddle of Mud, Story of the Year, Tricky Limp Biscuit, Trust Company, Static X, and Incubus. With a link, they have a link from their Make Yourself Foundation site. All these artists are just some of the people that have gotten together and helped out with this thing, so it's a really cool thing.

37:44 Caller That is so awesome. The LPU really, really appreciates it.

37:49 Adam Hey, Alana, you're going to give some money?

37:53 Caller Yes, I will. I will make sure to convince my parents that I will give at least $10.

37:59 Guest Liar!

38:00 Caller Liar whore! Liar whore!

38:02 Caller You know it!

38:03 Caller Never.

38:04 Guest Wow, harsh.

38:05 Adam All right. Now, wait a second, Alana. I think I heard the chirp of a smoke detector.

38:11 Caller Yes, you did.

38:13 All right.

38:14 Adam So let me get this straight. You got money for the tsunami relief, but you don't have $2 for a 9-volt battery.

38:21 Caller I don't know what the hell is wrong with it.

38:24 Drew How long has it been doing that?

38:26 Adam Here's where it gets good.

38:27 Drew Two years.

38:28 Adam Do you understand who we're dealing with here? Now, it's going to go.

38:33 Guest Did you really pick that out just by listening?

38:35 Adam Oh, it's going soon.

38:36 Caller That's amazing.

38:37 Adam Get under it.

38:38 Caller So you don't hear it at all.

38:39 Adam Here it comes. Where is it? Where are you standing? Stand under it.

38:45 Caller Okay.

38:46 Adam Are you under it?

38:47 Caller Yeah.

38:48 Adam Okay. Because it will go about every 30.

38:50 Caller I know about my beating fire alarm. Great.

38:54 Drew You're fascinated by.

38:56 Adam Yeah. They were going to take you on tour with them, but not anymore.

39:00 Caller Hey, you know.

39:00 Adam We've proven to be a liability.

39:03 Caller I sold the most tickets for you guys for Project Evolution. You know that, right? I won your Ibanez guitar.

39:09 Adam Really? That's now. Now you've broken even. Yeah. Because you have the smoke.

39:15 Caller Because I couldn't get to LA.

39:19 Adam And and Alana, Alana. Well, hold on one more time. We please stand directly under that smoke detector.

39:26 Caller OK.

39:27 Adam I'm trying to time. I'm trying to pace the chirp. It goes about every 33 seconds.

39:31 Caller OK.

39:32 All right. All right.

39:33 Adam Don't be quiet. Let's see if we can hear it.

39:41 Caller Mike, do a rap, do a rap about it.

39:42 Shh. Oh, come on.

39:45 Adam Why isn't it going off? Are you standing underneath it?

39:47 Caller Yes, I am.

39:49 Guest Ah, there it is.

39:51 Adam Wow, that thing's on a wider spread than I've ever seen. That thing's going off about, like about every 45, 50 seconds.

40:00 Guest It's been going off for, she said, like two years, so.

40:03 Adam Yeah.

40:03 Guest It's been slowing down.

40:04 Guest Yeah, battery's probably dead, almost dead.

40:06 Adam Do you live, is there a man in the house? There is. Is he confined to a wheelchair? Or is he just like chained to a bong? Like he can't get on a goddamn chair and put the battery in the thing?

40:19 Caller It's supposed to be connected electrically.

40:21 Adam I don't know. All right.

40:22 Guest Can you imagine living with that for that long?

40:24 Adam Evidently, it's not. Oh, let me tell you something.

40:27 Guest Never really sleeping.

40:28 Adam Oh, we have, we talk to people where it's in their room. It's above their bed. Right. I say you would drive a reptile insane. You understand? Like if you put if you had if you had an iguana in an aquarium, it would eat its own tail, try to kill itself because it would go insane because of the chirping every 34 seconds. People get used to it. And let me just say this about that. Imagine when they made the smoke detectors, somebody. And there must have been some sort of federal regulation that these things have to last this long. They have to put out such and such a decibel noise. When the battery gets low, they probably made very stringent guidelines. Like, look, it has to be 100 decibels. It's got to be every 30 to 35 seconds. Nobody could ignore it. I mean, now, not only people know it, I don't think people can fall asleep without it. And here's the thing. We're breeding whole generations because now I talk to people. It's like, yeah, I got a three year old and a six year old. They're being weaned on this stuff. It's like it's like roaches where the next generation got used to the poison. It doesn't work anymore. The smoke detectors don't work anymore because people grow up with the chirps.

41:38 Guest So the next generation smoke detectors should have no trip at all, like just.

41:42 Adam Yeah. And people are going, I'm going insane.

41:44 Guest What's going on? We got to change the battery.

41:47 Adam Better yet, just make it out of styrofoam, like from a key or something and stick it up there. Yeah, drive everyone insane. Go ahead and change that, change that battery. Today, today's the day you change that battery.

41:57 Drew Why so many Loveline callers, though, have that chirping?

42:01 Adam I don't think that's a great sign.

42:03 Drew I don't know. It's scary.

42:04 Adam I think it's like, why, like if you said, like, why do so many Loveline callers have Ivy League degrees? You know what I mean? That would be a good sign. Why so many have the chirping smoke detector in the background? Yeah.

42:17 Guest Yeah.

42:18 Adam Yeah.

42:18 Guest Sorry. All right.

42:19 Adam Let's take a little break. Hoobastank here tonight, Linkin Park here tonight. We have a very worthy cause for you. We'll just go to, go to, where was that? Yeah. No, wait. We're going to write that down. Give me the, oh, it's under here.

42:34 Guest There we go. You know it. It's like memorized.

42:35 Adam www.musicforrelief.org. That's www.musicforrelief.org. Give until it hurts. We'll be right back after this. It's Loveline. I'm Adam.

43:02 That's Dr. Bruce.

43:03 Dr. Bruce.

43:04 Adam Filming for Dr. Shut up.

43:07 Guest We're having our own conversation over here.

43:10 Guest Could you excuse us for a second? We're having a conversation over here.

43:13 Adam You guys just use it like our national airways, like your private intercom.

43:18 Guest Just hanging out on the air. It's great.

43:20 Adam Linkin Park here tonight, Hoobastank here, talking a little about the relief effort for the tsunami. Linkin Park is generously given $100,000 of their own money. And you can go to www.musicforrelief.org if you want to get in and give a little too. Yes.

43:43 Guest And don't let that dollar amount scare you. We do have friends that have given like $10, $20. I mean, anything you can give.

43:49 Guest I told you not to say how much I'm giving. Why'd you do that?

43:53 Guest We do have friends in this room besides Doug.

43:57 Adam Anything is going to help. And I imagine it goes a long way in that part of the world.

44:04 Guest Yeah. When we were over there, I mean, just like I was imagining when we heard about the tsunami in the first place, what we saw like on our days off in between shows. Because when you're playing, if you just come into town and play a show, you don't really get to know the area so much. But if you've got a day off and you can really go and like visit, just go look around a little bit. That was the first thing I thought of is like some, we got in at one point, we got in a boat and just kind of, kind of saw the city from from the water. And that was the, I mean, I was thinking of that, like some of these houses, some of these places are little shacks. People are not living off very much. So a US dollar is, it is considerable. If you can give a couple bucks, it does make a big difference.

44:44 Guest Once it gets converted into the local currency, it really goes a long way.

44:47 Adam Yeah. And it's good, not only good karma, but it's a nice calling card. You know, the money ain't coming from Benny Layden and company. It's coming from the blue-eyed guys over here, your buddies, your buddies with the red ties and the sport coats, United States. Yeah. We should show, I mean, it's a good chance to step up, show the rest of the world we're not so bad.

45:10 Drew Yes.

45:10 Adam Yeah. Let's kick Canada's ass is what I'm saying.

45:13 Drew I was waiting for that.

45:14 Adam Sheep Canucks. They send over like a hockey puck and a Gretzky jersey.

45:19 Guest Some of the bats.

45:20 Adam Yeah. The LeBats Bear. Sweaty guy in a bear outfit. Come on, Mike.

45:27 Drew Yep.

45:28 Adam You're 17.

45:30 Caller Yes, ma'am.

45:30 Drew Oh, you.

45:31 Adam What's up, buddy?

45:34 Caller Not a whole lot. How about you?

45:35 Adam All right. Please ask your questions.

45:38 Caller All right. I'm going out with this girl. We're pretty serious. And you know, I love her a lot and all that. And in the past, she's been with like several other people and I've only been with like one person. And I don't know why it probably sounds kind of childish, but it just like really bothers me. I really don't know what to do about it.

45:59 Adam All right. Here's the thing, Mike. I'm going to change your life with a couple of quick syllables. And then we got a break because I pushed everything back tonight and screwed us up. Every guy has this. I had it in spades. Every 17 year old guy has this. They can't stand it. And the fact that you didn't get laid much really just magnifies the problem. Here's the thing. If you're going to be with her, be with her and enjoy yourself. Don't be with her and torture yourself. Don't be with her and screw with yourself or pick at yourself. Just be with her. And here's the thing. Get a little zen about the whole thing. You're not going to marry her anyway. Have a good time. Don't beat her up. Don't beat yourself up. Don't think about the other guys. Who cares? You're not marrying her. You're 17. This is your first or second girlfriend. Don't get her pregnant. Have a good time. Don't judge and free yourself up.

46:48 Drew Right.

46:48 Adam Yeah. Because there's really, it really does hold you down more than it screws up the other person when you're doing the judging.

46:54 Drew Yeah. And turn it around. Men are much harder on women than women are on men. She's going to be so... She loves him. She's accepting. She's not looking at his sexual...

47:01 Adam You're not marrying her. Just enjoy. Enjoy. It's going to go on for another nine months. Have a good time. I wish someone would have told me that. Yes?

47:08 Drew Yes.

47:08 Adam All right. I'm going to build a time machine so I can go back and give me advice.

47:12 Caller Yeah.

47:13 Drew It would make a big call myself Pops.

47:16 Caller All right.

47:16 Adam Freak myself out.

47:18 Caller Really?

47:18 Adam My hair still got it. I'm still going to have a zit at 40. What's going on? All right. Hoobastank here tonight. Linkin Park here tonight. Take a quick break. I'll give you all the numbers and websites after this.

47:32 Guest Guys, here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:37 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:38 Guest Call the Dateline.

47:39 Caller 877-889-DATE.

47:42 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:43 Caller 1-800-CALL-UP-LINE.

47:45 Caller LOVE-191.

48:00 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Bruce. Dr. Bruce, filming for Dr. Drew. Crystal Method in here tomorrow night. Good guys. Can't believe those guys play like tech music. They look like truck drivers. Brad Mike here tonight. Also Doug from Hoobastank, and of course, Linkin Park. If you want to get involved with this project, which is giving away a little money, doesn't matter how much, just whatever you can afford, you go to www.musicforrelief.org, or you go to 1-800-HELP-NOW, which is obviously a phone call away.

48:39 Guest Does it strike you at all how similar Mike and Doug look, I mean, sitting next to each other? It's not just blowing your mind right now.

48:45 Guest Does it strike you how the Asian community here has to share a microphone?

48:50 Guest Did he just do the Asian guys look alike? They all look the same? Is that what we just got in the studio here?

48:56 Guest I think it's because you're both so handsome.

48:58 Guest He's trying to backtrack and covering up.

49:01 Guest He's right about that, but he's still backpedaling.

49:04 Adam Mike, there's a famous car designer with a Shinoda last name.

49:10 Guest He did it. I think it was a Corvette.

49:11 Adam Larry Shinoda.

49:12 Guest Yeah, that's right.

49:13 Adam Yeah, that's no.

49:15 Guest Actually, something really funny. We donated some money earlier this year to a bunch of different organizations. I donated to the Japanese American.

49:24 Adam This is kids without vets.

49:26 Guest I thought he was going to say, we donated some money to Larry Shinoda.

49:29 Guest Check this out.

49:30 Caller Vets without vets.

49:32 Guest This guy, this random guy, I went and visited the Japanese American National Museum and presented with a check and we're doing this whole big thing. We were standing out in the lobby and it was where they're taking pictures. It was a big deal. This random 50-year-old guy comes in and his wife come running down the stairs. He goes, are you Mike Shinoda? I'm thinking he's going to go to my kids or fans or thanks for donating. He goes, I have no idea who you are. I just heard your name. My dad's Larry Shinoda. I actually meet the guy for however long, for my whole life I've heard, oh, the Larry Shinoda. He's the famous one, famous Larry Shinoda. Then I get in this band and I'm the famous Shinoda. He's like, I get to meet the famous Shinoda that like everybody knows better than my dad now.

50:25 Adam No, I get, yeah, there's nobody listening to this show who knows who the Corvette designer Shinoda is.

50:31 Guest That's funny because nobody knows who I was too and I get in this band and now I'm a famous Shinoda too and I'm not even the famous Shinoda.

50:38 Guest Yeah, Doug was telling me at break that he got during the holidays when he was shopping, like Christmas shopping, people would stop him and be like, dude, you're from Linkin Park.

50:46 Guest Yeah. I'm like, yeah, shut up.

50:50 Caller Shut up, kid.

50:51 Guest Yeah, I am. You suck.

50:53 Guest Dude, I met that guy, Mike. He's a jerk.

50:55 Guest Yeah, I know. I got after I punched him.

50:58 Adam Here's the thing. Yeah, it's nice to be recognized. But even in increments, like you're that dude from that show, you know, even when you don't know, even when they don't. My whole family actually does that to me. They go, how long is that crank dumper son? That's on the comedy channel. Which one is that? Is that on? So it's like they, they're sort of, you know, do they come up to you and go, hey, Adam, Adam, where's Dr. Drew?

51:23 Guest You're like in the mall. You're like, we're we don't like live together.

51:26 Adam Here's, here's how it works. If anyone recognizes me as where's Dr. Drew? And then here's where's the Juggies?

51:36 Drew Yeah, that one I've heard.

51:37 Adam Those are the two.

51:38 Drew All right.

51:39 Adam Let's I think there's a little question for Linkin Park here. Megan.

51:43 Caller Yeah.

51:44 Adam You're 14.

51:45 Caller Yes, I am.

51:46 Adam What's up, baby doll?

51:47 Caller First of all, Adam, you are a sexy beast. I love you to death. You are awesome.

51:53 Adam Thank you. And younger sister.

51:56 Caller Yeah.

51:57 Adam Yeah. Because I mean, 14, by the time we hook up, you'll be 14 and a half, 15. You know what I'm saying?

52:03 Caller Yeah. Anyway, Brad, Mike, I love you guys too. Linkin Park is awesome. And you are part of the reason I'm still alive today. Your music just keeps me here. And I was wondering, what is the craziest fan you ever met like?

52:20 Guest Like craziest fan?

52:21 Caller Yeah, the craziest fan you ever ran into.

52:24 Guest Well, the weirdest thing, I'll tell you a weird story. Everyone, I don't know if you know Adam's reputation, but people say, you know, he comes in, he does the show, but he's like slightly aloof. You know, he's seen a lot of celebrities. They come in here every night.

52:35 Adam He gets a little bit jaded. I'm jaded. I'm standoffish off the air.

52:39 Guest What's weird is, last time we were here, you know, like we'll go out of the room during the break. And Adam was like really first, at first really aggressively having us for autographs.

52:48 Adam Well, I remember from my nephews.

52:50 Guest Right, of course.

52:51 Adam Adam and Anne.

52:51 Guest Actually, I had to speak to the producer about it.

52:54 Adam Yeah.

52:55 Guest And Uncle eBay.

52:56 Guest I actually spoke to the producer about it. And I was like, you know, I know Adam's really into the band, but it's just a little intense.

53:02 Adam Right.

53:02 Guest And I mean, it literally got to the point where I was a little uncomfortable coming in today because Adam is such an aggressive and fanatic.

53:10 Guest I mean, and it kind of freaked me out a little bit when we were over by the drinking fountain, Adam bent over to take a drink. And you can see his Linkin Park lower back tattoo peeking out from under the shirt.

53:21 Adam It's I was I was dating someone who was pretty heavily into the park, as she called it. And I basically did the tat to sort of appease her on the sort of a drunken.

53:32 Guest So I hope that answers your question. Yeah.

53:34 Adam Yeah, it's pretty much the ace man. And then then I thought Doug was in Linkin Park, too, and he got pissed.

53:41 Caller Yeah, I can see why.

53:43 Guest Yeah.

53:43 Adam All right. So they saved your life. Yes.

53:45 Caller Yes, they did.

53:46 Adam Good.

53:47 Caller I've had some depressing times and I just put on the Linkin Park and usually it helps.

53:52 Adam Oh, good. Well, take care of that depression, all right?

53:55 Caller All right.

53:56 Adam All right.

53:56 Guest There's nothing. I put their guys on when I like burn my toast and stuff like that. It always makes me feel better.

54:03 Adam Yeah, I was when I was getting that tat, when I was getting the tat, I was listening to Linkin Park.

54:09 Caller Hopefully, when I get back.

54:11 Guest When I'm really bummed, when I'm ruined, when I run out of Snapple Apple. Damn it.

54:20 Adam Hey, take care of yourself, Megan. And don't kill yourself. There's not too many 14-year-olds that think I'm hot.

54:26 Drew All right.

54:27 Adam Let's talk to nicole.

54:29 Drew Yeah.

54:30 Adam Proud of Linkin Park for doing a relief. That's nice.

54:33 Drew All right.

54:33 Adam nicole, you're 23. What's up?

54:37 Caller How are you guys?

54:39 Guest Great.

54:39 Adam Great.

54:40 Guest Good.

54:41 Caller Good.

54:41 Guest Okay.

54:42 Caller I just want to say to Linkin Park, I think it's awesome what you guys are doing.

54:45 Caller I'm very proud of you guys.

54:47 Guest Thank you.

54:48 Caller I think it's great.

54:51 Guest Are you proud of Doug too?

54:52 Caller I am very proud of Doug.

54:54 Guest She's talking to you guys.

54:58 Guest I just think she was a little embarrassed because people get nervous.

55:01 Caller I get nervous. This is my first time on the line.

55:04 Adam Really? And are you going to give some money?

55:07 Caller I already did. I went and I put $25 down.

55:10 Adam Good. Yeah. A lot of money. What do you do for a living?

55:17 Caller I am a state employee.

55:19 Adam Where do you work?

55:21 Caller I work in Idaho.

55:24 Adam What do you do? What do you work on?

55:26 Caller I work for the transportation department. That's pretty interesting.

55:32 Adam Yeah. Sounds fascinating. Buses and trains.

55:36 Caller Yeah.

55:37 Adam And what do you do?

55:37 Caller And what do I do?

55:39 Adam Yeah.

55:40 Caller I am kind of like a secretary.

55:42 Adam All right. So you don't make a ton of money, right? You're not a rich woman.

55:46 Caller No.

55:46 Adam But yet you dug deep and gave 25 bucks.

55:50 Caller That's awesome.

55:50 Adam Yeah. That'll go a long way. And one day, if a tsunami hits Boise, she's calling from Boise.

55:58 Caller Yeah, it would never happen.

56:00 Adam You can never say never. That's what I've learned in this business, right?

56:04 Caller Hey, it's unknown right now.

56:05 Adam So I'm just saying a tsunami hits Boise and somebody from some other part of the world digs deep and gives you 25 bucks. I say more, probably 25 with interest. Yeah. All right, nicole. God bless you, baby doll.

56:19 Guest Thank you.

56:20 Caller Hey, when is Linkin Park coming back to Boise?

56:23 Guest Thursday.

56:25 Adam They're coming Thursday.

56:27 Guest We're going to be at Steve's Sugar Shack this Thursday.

56:31 Adam They'll be there Tuesday and Thursday. They're there even number.

56:34 Guest At the Chuckle Hut.

56:36 Guest We're opening up for the Beatles.

56:38 Adam Wendy, what is a good, I know it's a trite question that's probably asked, but I haven't asked it in a while. What are the good places to play? Now, is LA jaded? Is New York jaded? Do you want to go to the middle of the country? What's the vibe like?

56:52 Guest You mean in the States?

56:54 Guest Yeah, in the States.

56:56 Guest Let's let Doug answer that.

56:57 Guest What's that place?

56:58 Guest Yeah, way to get out of that one.

56:59 Guest No, what's that place? Is it Washington that has the rocks and the canyon?

57:03 Guest Actually, I have an answer. I have a serious answer.

57:07 Guest Yeah, that's in Washington.

57:07 Guest The best place to play, one of the best places to play in terms of fan reaction, like intensity, by far is Utah.

57:14 Adam Oh, really?

57:15 Guest Oh, absolutely.

57:16 Guest I actually agree with that.

57:18 Adam You concur. I think we've heard it before because I think the theory was they're wrapped a little tight a little pent up and they just explode.

57:25 Guest You know, that's why the shows in Japan are amazing, too.

57:28 Caller Oh, really?

57:30 Guest That was my theory on it all, that they were just so businesslike all the time, you know? They got the shows and they just explode.

57:35 Adam Yeah, they go ballistic. Yeah. You know what I like? You know what I like to do? You guys are Japanese, right? You got some going there? I like, you know what I like? I like the, yeah, I like that.

57:47 You got some Japanese in you?

57:48 Caller I like the hi.

57:50 Adam I like the hi. Like once in a while.

57:52 Guest Thank you very much.

57:53 Caller Hi.

57:53 Adam Hi. Hi. You know, once in a while, I turn on the TV, I see what a crazy sumo wrestling thing, and they go back to the commentators, and there's two guys wearing suits, looking like they're right out of 60s movies. And one guy's talking like an auctioneer is just, you know, beaked up on meth. And the other guy's just next to him like, Hi. Hi. Hi. He's basically saying, I agree. Yes, I hear, I acknowledge, and I agree.

58:15 Guest Part of it too is that you want to be respectful in the sense like, yes, I'm paying attention. You know what I mean? Yes. Yes. You imagine if you were doing a radio interview, I mean, you're talking to us right now and all three of us are going, yeah. Yes. Yeah.

58:26 Adam Yeah.

58:27 Guest We're listening. Yeah.

58:27 Adam I know. I know you think that would be bad radio, but I would enjoy it personally. And here's why we need, hi. I've discovered this. I logged, I now have 1000 hours speaking on the cell phone where no one's on the other line. Yes. Because LA is the worst goddamn city in the nation for talking on cell phones. Everyone I know lives up in the hills. I live in the hills. I'm driving all around through the canyons and everything. And I tend to go on rants. So my thing is like, I'm going on a 20-minute like jag into the cell phone. And why does the arrow have to turn red? Can't the green turn arrow just stay green or just turn with the signal? Why am I saying it? I'm talking, talking, talking, talking. 20 minutes goes by and then eventually is like, hello? Hello? Hello? And then I call the person back and they're like, when do we get cut off? We got cut off right after you said hi. And I'm like, why did a 20-minute jag after that? Yeah, I didn't hear any of it. And I realized I'm now 1000 hours of talking into space when nobody hears. And I realized if they would say hi, it would be great for cell phones. And I know this is gonna, once in a while, you're on the cell phone and you're talking to your guy and you're going, look, what I need you to do is I need you to call the guy over at the lighting place and see when that stuff's going to be ready to pick up. Yeah, see? As opposed to my idiot, it just sits there with like silence. And then I'm always like, scott, are you there? Are you there? And he's like, yeah, I'm listening. But I keep saying, you know, you talk on the cell phone, you keep saying, are you there?

59:55 Guest It's the future of proper cell phone etiquette.

59:58 Adam Hi, right?

59:59 Guest The future of proper cell phone etiquette.

1:00:04 Adam And it's a tip of the hat to our Japanese brethren. I really mean it. It's not, it's, I'm not, you know, it's not an attack. It is, it is saying, that's all right, man.

1:00:12 Guest I don't think we feel threatened.

1:00:14 Adam No, I like what you guys have done here. May we borrow it?

1:00:17 Guest You like our work?

1:00:18 Adam I like your work with the height. And I'm trying to train my guy to do it. And he goes, hi. And I'm like, I know, it's not hi.

1:00:27 Guest How are you?

1:00:28 Adam It's not, I'm hi.

1:00:30 Drew It's hi, hi, hi.

1:00:31 Guest It's almost like hike, like football hike.

1:00:33 Drew Yeah.

1:00:33 Guest Minus the K.

1:00:34 Adam Right, right, right. It could work. And it's a necessary thing for cell phone communication. Yes?

1:00:43 Guest Hi.

1:00:43 Hi.

1:00:44 Adam Hi.

1:00:44 Hi.

1:00:45 Adam Okay. All right. I'm right about this one, right?

1:00:48 Guest Hi.

1:00:53 Caller Correct.

1:00:54 Guest Correct. You are correct, Adam.

1:00:56 Adam Oh, that's a culture I could really do well in. I really do believe that.

1:01:01 Drew I'd stop at this point. You've redeemed yourself a little bit.

1:01:04 Adam No, I mean, they're proud. They're proud.

1:01:06 Drew Here we go.

1:01:07 Adam No, they're smart.

1:01:08 Guest He's going to go, they're proud.

1:01:09 Adam They work hard. Great. No, no. I'm a fan. Chris.

1:01:16 Guest Yeah.

1:01:17 Adam 19?

1:01:18 Guest Yeah.

1:01:19 Adam What's up?

1:01:19 Guest Hey, I got a question about tattoo removals. Hey. If you get a tattoo removed by a laser, does it leave a scar of the tattoo?

1:01:29 Guest Dr. Bruce, I think this one's for me.

1:01:31 Guest Go for it.

1:01:34 Guest You were calling to ask Linkin Park that question, right?

1:01:37 Guest My bad. Sorry, I was ordering pizza.

1:01:40 Adam Yeah.

1:01:40 Drew So if you have a tendency to scar, for instance, people that tell us...

1:01:44 Guest What does that mean?

1:01:45 Adam Just keep moving. Can't try. You're right.

1:01:48 Drew If you have a... Generally, if it's done right, you're not going to scar. The technologies there, the keloiding, if you form keloid scars, which is pretty rare, people that they'll have their ears pierced or a small cut, and then the scar tissue will just continue to grow into a large mass.

1:02:03 Adam Let me ask you a question, speaking of Asians, which is the brother man tends to keloid, right? Darker pigment in the skin.

1:02:13 Drew It's more common in.

1:02:14 Adam Yeah, the darker your skin is, it tends to be more, more higher percentage chance of getting the keloid. It's more common. What about the Asians?

1:02:20 Drew No. No. The more pigments you have, the more chance that you're going to have hypo or hyperpigmentation. You're going to have a darker area left behind or a lighter area than your native pigment after you have tattoo removal.

1:02:32 Adam So you have to better do it on a white guy than an Asian guy.

1:02:37 Drew The lighter someone's skin, the less chance there's going to be any evidence when the tattoo removal is done, than there was ever a tattoo.

1:02:43 Guest Mike, we're safe.

1:02:45 Adam You guys are lying.

1:02:46 Guest Remove away.

1:02:49 Adam So how many sessions?

1:02:51 Guest Adam, you're thinking about getting that Linkin Park tattoo removed. After this experience.

1:02:57 Adam I was going to have it replaced with a Linkin log, actually.

1:03:01 Drew It's an average of eight to ten treatments done once a month. Sometimes it's limited by pain. It depends on which...

1:03:09 Adam Chris, what are you? You a white guy?

1:03:11 Drew Yeah.

1:03:12 Adam And what do you have? An old girlfriend, Tad? Or what do you have?

1:03:15 Guest No, I just... Like me and my cousin do tattoos. My cousin branded his face, and so I wanted to do branding, but if the laser leaves a scar, then my cousin will tat something on me, and then we can laser it off to have the scar.

1:03:28 Drew No, it's unusual to have a scar.

1:03:31 Adam Oh, so wait a minute. Instead of branding yourself, you do it with the laser. I mean, you do the tat, and then you leave the scar with the laser, and it's the sort of pussy's version of branding.

1:03:43 Guest Yeah, basically.

1:03:44 Drew You can use the same laser actually to treat scars.

1:03:47 Adam All right, but look, he doesn't want to use your laser because it doesn't leave a scar.

1:03:52 Drew Right, he wants a scar. It has to be tat. Yeah, it's not gonna work for branding.

1:03:56 Adam Yeah, it's like, I need to buy new underpants. These won't do, they have no skid mark on them. They actually want stuff that's bad.

1:04:04 Drew Great analogy.

1:04:05 Adam See what I'm saying?

1:04:05 Guest Yes.

1:04:06 Adam I only buy the chub pack that's already pre-skid marked, already worked in.

1:04:11 Drew It's the patient that comes in that wants to complicate.

1:04:12 Guest Speaking of skid mark underwears, the same guy, Brad, and like the same guy that I was talking about earlier, my friend, quote unquote friend, like he's got a great idea. He was telling me this the other day. He got a great idea.

1:04:26 Guest Hey.

1:04:26 Guest White. Why don't they have some tidy whities? Hey. Tidy brownies.

1:04:31 Adam Hey.

1:04:33 Guest Tidy brownies. Like, you know, erase the skid marks. You wouldn't even know you got them.

1:04:37 Adam Here's what I feel like.

1:04:39 Guest Not that I, you know, or anybody in this room has a problem.

1:04:42 Adam No.

1:04:42 Guest What is this guy have in short?

1:04:42 Adam I know what you're saying. I feel like I would start crapping white to combat it. I feel like my bowel would know.

1:04:49 Guest It's like the reverse smock detector.

1:04:51 Adam I really do. I really do feel like I would adjust and that it would be difficult for a couple months. But eventually start coming out like seagull crap.

1:04:59 Guest I wish I remember.

1:05:00 Adam Brown.

1:05:01 Guest Yeah. It's like get rid of the skin or something.

1:05:04 Adam I've shifted to black underpants and gray and other colors like that. White does seem like the wrong color to choose. But I think the brown smacks of a certain problem or even a guilt. You know what I mean?

1:05:23 Guest It's like a comb over kind of thing. Yeah.

1:05:26 Guest Brown underwear with a yellow front.

1:05:28 Adam Yeah. I'm just saying you may not be able to pick out the specific skid, but you're saying you may have a problem.

1:05:38 Guest It's the appearance of a skid.

1:05:41 Adam It's like you saying to someone, I like to wear an adult diaper around and I'm going, but you have a problem. No, it's for comfort. It's for comfort. It's creepy, right? That's all I'm saying.

1:05:50 Guest I got more stories about that guy in adult diapers too, so let's move on.

1:05:54 Adam Well, let's play a little Germany or Florida. This game is sweeping the nation and especially, it's rocketed us into the new year. Here's how the game is played everybody. All bizarre stories either emanate from Germany or Florida. This is something I learned over at Kimmel's. People call up, tell us the bizarre story and then we guess, is it Germany or Florida? Yes? Yes.

1:06:18 Caller All right.

1:06:18 Adam Let's try that. Let's speak to Adam who's 17. Adam?

1:06:22 Caller Adam, how's it going?

1:06:24 Adam What's happening?

1:06:25 Caller I have a Germany or Florida for you. And I've been listening to the show for about five years and the best part has to be the lightning round.

1:06:34 Adam Oh really? Bruce hates the lightning round. All right.

1:06:37 Caller And I love Linkin Park and the guitarist from Hoobastank. My friend gave a demo from one of his band, his name is SFM, but you said you were really jazz. Is it the guitarist that's on?

1:06:51 Adam Hey, no, no, no, no. Hey, Adam, yeah, this is called Germany or Florida. Not I got to get my stoner buddy a record deal.

1:07:01 Caller No, no, it's fine. I got Germany or Florida for you.

1:07:03 Adam That's what you got to do.

1:07:05 Caller All right. A man who was fascinated with explosives blew himself up after putting a homemade pipe bomb in his mouth and lighting the fuse. I heard this one before. Into his mouth and flick the light.

1:07:16 Adam What? He blew himself up with a pipe bomb.

1:07:20 Caller Yeah.

1:07:20 Adam In his mouth.

1:07:21 Caller Yeah.

1:07:22 Caller All right.

1:07:23 Caller Are we supposed to gaslight? Into his mouth and flick the lighter as his petrified flatmates and girlfriend looked on. The bomb, which might have been created using instructions from a book on explosives, then blew up causing him serious head injuries and he died on the same day.

1:07:39 Caller All right.

1:07:40 Adam Germany or Florida?

1:07:40 Caller It's easy.

1:07:41 Adam What is it?

1:07:42 Caller All right.

1:07:42 Adam Well, we'll just start, Brad. Go ahead.

1:07:44 Guest It's Germany.

1:07:45 Adam Germany.

1:07:46 Guest Initially, I would have said Florida, but after flatmate, I'm going to have to sign with them.

1:07:51 Adam I heard flatmate is well.

1:07:52 Guest I don't think they have flats in the panhandle.

1:07:55 Adam Mike?

1:07:57 Guest I'm with the group over here.

1:07:58 Adam We're all going to Germany because of the flat.

1:08:00 Guest Florida.

1:08:01 Adam Oh, Bruce. Bruce won last night, did you not? We have heard flatmate before. I know that's something they have in England. They would call an apartment a flat, but do they see Germans blowing their heads off?

1:08:15 Guest Well, yeah, it's like if this news article is written by somebody in England about a story in Florida, I can see your point.

1:08:21 Adam Oh, interesting.

1:08:23 Guest Wow.

1:08:24 Guest Interesting.

1:08:26 Guest That's too obscure.

1:08:27 Guest But I'm going to go Germany.

1:08:28 Adam I'm going Germany, too. Everyone's going Germany except for Bruce, who goes Florida. Adam, what is it, Germany or Florida?

1:08:34 Caller Well, Adam, you're never wrong, but you are now because it was Florida.

1:08:38 Adam Oh.

1:08:39 Caller It was written in an English newspaper though.

1:08:43 Adam Oh, Mike.

1:08:44 Guest See? That threw us off.

1:08:46 Adam Yeah. All right. Thank you, Adam.

1:08:48 Guest Because I was thinking Florida at first because of the pipe bomb.

1:08:51 Adam Yeah.

1:08:51 Guest Sounds too un-German.

1:08:53 Adam Yeah.

1:08:53 Guest He read one of those, one of that book, that Anarchist Cook book and-

1:08:57 Adam Right. I heard flat too and it stuck out at me, but-

1:09:00 Guest He threw us off on that one.

1:09:02 Adam But you know what? We deserve it because we attempted to sort of cheat in a small sense by picking out a word thinking that Adam had slipped up and seizing on that. And we've been burned. And it's two nights in a row I've attempted that feeble technique and it did not work at all. Right?

1:09:21 Drew More the cultural overtones.

1:09:23 Guest Yeah.

1:09:24 Caller All right. All right.

1:09:25 Guest A little too clever for Alan Good.

1:09:26 Caller Yeah.

1:09:27 Adam We need to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, Greg's got a question for Linkin Park about working with Jay Z. We got got Rebound Girl pregnant. Wants to know what to do. Can't give BJ a big her mouth. No, he's too big and her mouth's too small. Hold on a second. Molly.

1:09:47 Caller Oh, yeah. Hey.

1:09:48 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:09:49 Caller Hey.

1:09:51 Adam He's too big. He's too girthy.

1:09:53 Caller Yeah. I don't know what to do.

1:09:55 Adam And your mouth is too small.

1:09:57 Caller Yeah.

1:09:57 Adam I've always wanted that problem. That's why I've always wanted to get with Bernadette Peters. He has a very small mouth. Molly. Is your mouth unusually small? No.

1:10:10 Caller I have a totally normal human-sized mouth. But I guess, I mean, I've given a blowjob before and I guess the other guy was a little bit smaller. And he's, I mean, he's six inches. I'm guessing he's like six inches long and like two inches wide, not normal.

1:10:28 Adam Hold on, hold on. So he's got like a can of niblets between his legs. Right? All right. All right. Hold on a second. OK. I know it's like one of those, no one really wants this kind of problem problem, but I would like this kind of problem. You know what I mean? I mean, I know it probably doesn't make for better or all, but just seeing somebody having to use like a, you know, popsicle stick to get their mouth around my penis would be awesome. And just like that thing that happens when you're at the dentist, getting a root canal, a little tears just coming down. I got my chicks, I got talking, smoking, chewing gum.

1:11:05 Drew But you have any practical records?

1:11:07 Adam Like a slim gym.

1:11:08 Drew What do you have? Do you have any practical records? For a medical stand-up point, I don't have any.

1:11:12 Adam You know? All right, well, we'll get into it. All right, Hoobastank, Linkin Park here tonight, talking about the tsunami relief. You just go to www.musicforrelief.org, and you make yourself a donation. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:11:33 Caller Hello. This is Loveline.

1:11:35 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:46 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Bruce. Filling in for Dr. Drew. Brad, Doug, and Mike are all here. Linkin Park and Hoobastank, and talking about the tsunami relief. These people need your money. I'm gonna make a donation. We'll reveal that amount at the end of the show. Oh, son of a bitch, Dr. Drew. He goes and makes money in Florida talking to some condom nerds. I lose money staying behind doing his job. But it's all for a good cause.

1:12:22 Drew That's right.

1:12:22 Adam That's the important thing. And you know what? It's karma. Yes?

1:12:26 Guest Can I thank some people? Sure. I was just saying earlier during the break that we started this thing up and really kind of wanted to get to involve as many people, musicians and fans and just people we know, get them involved in the cause. And everyone's been so great. And there's been so many people that have helped us to accomplish this. I mentioned some of the bands before that have stepped up. But we should also thank, really thank K-Rock because the station's been great in terms of getting the word out. MTV too, they've been great. They actually broke the story on their website. And I'm sure I'm forgetting a lot of people, but if I'm not saying your name, I want to thank you for helping to make it all happen.

1:13:10 Guest And the Red Cross for jumping in with us.

1:13:12 Guest The Red Cross, Hoobastank, a lot of really great bands that are making this a priority.

1:13:18 Adam You go to 1-800-HELP-NOW, 1-800-HELP-NOW, that's the number for Red Cross, and you can make your donation. Or you can go to www.musicforrelief.org and make your donation to this very worthy cause. All right, let's talk to Greg who wants to know how it was working with Jay-Z. Greg?

1:13:43 Caller Yeah, what's up, Adam?

1:13:44 Adam What's up? You're 16.

1:13:46 Caller I'd like to ask, Linkin Park, what it's like working with Hover, Jiggerman, Jay-Z himself.

1:13:53 Guest You always know the big Jay-Z fans when they start using his multiple names. They like to show that knowledge off.

1:13:59 Guest I wish I had multiple names.

1:14:00 Guest It's like Ludacris fans who call him Luda, like you always know.

1:14:03 Caller Oh, really?

1:14:03 Guest They're the guys. Yeah, he's a good guy. He's a real good guy, down to earth guy. It's kind of surprised. Not so much because I assumed otherwise, but because I didn't know what to expect. And given the guy's status and how many, just how long he's been at the top of his game, you kind of expect that when he comes in the studio, he kind of just runs the show and does what he feels like doing and kind of he can do what he wants. But he actually came in, he left his ego at the door and he was really friendly to everybody. I mean, it's on the Collision Course DVD, you can see us first meeting and you can see the guy is completely like, he's just a cool guy, just real nice and real professional.

1:14:45 Adam How'd you guys get hooked up?

1:14:47 Guest We actually, MTV came to Jay and said, because so many mashups had been done with his music from the Black Album and whatnot, they wanted to do a live show with him and they said, who do you want to work with? And he called us. That's nice. Yeah, we were obviously pretty flattered at that point, but I didn't know how to respond to that because it's one thing to talk to a guy like that and say, yeah, we can do it. This is what it would sound like, but that's not necessarily going to do it. So instead, what I decided to do is I threw together two, I did Numb encore and I did Lying From You, Dirt Off Your Shoulder in our bus. I think we were in Europe at the time and I sent those back overseas to him. And that was our response, like, yes, we'd love to and here are two songs, prove it. And he was really impressed and that kind of set things off on the right foot.

1:15:44 Adam And he was like, hey, Greg, we're done with you now.

1:15:49 Guest Thank you, Greg.

1:15:50 Caller I just want to say, Adam, you're a fizzle, rest in peace, notorious, and Linkin Park, you guys.

1:15:58 Caller All right.

1:15:59 Guest And he hung up. Yes, that was amazing.

1:16:01 Guest And he went out on top that color.

1:16:03 Adam Yeah, it's great.

1:16:04 Guest He got the last word.

1:16:06 Adam White is a ghost. Probably had his bar mitzvah two years ago. And he's just walking around, wiggin out.

1:16:13 Guest All right.

1:16:14 Adam Let's talk to Molly.

1:16:15 Guest Don't knock it till you've tried it, I guess.

1:16:17 Adam Molly.

1:16:18 Caller Yeah, hey.

1:16:19 Guest All right.

1:16:20 Adam So you have a, what you would consider an average size mouth opening. But your boyfriend has a much larger than average penis.

1:16:29 Caller I don't think it's love. Maybe I don't really know. Maybe it's just that I don't know the right way to do it. Maybe because when I, I'm reading the graphic.

1:16:38 Adam Yeah.

1:16:38 Caller When I put my mouth over it and stuff, I can't really move around a lot. It's like, clogged.

1:16:45 Adam Can't get things done.

1:16:46 Caller Yeah.

1:16:47 Adam You want to make waffles. You want to program the Tivo. You can't get anything done.

1:16:52 Caller But I can.

1:16:52 Adam Because penis is too big. I know what it's like.

1:16:55 Caller You do.

1:16:56 Adam Yeah. Whereas if you're doing like, you know, sodomy, you can get around the house. You do stuff. I hate to be graphic, but it's true. I can get stuff done from that position.

1:17:06 Caller So what do I do?

1:17:09 Adam Phone, you know, conduct a lot of business over the phone, kind of stuff. I think this is, you know, you need to sort of break each other in a little here sexually. You know, I don't think there's anything we can tell you over the phone other than sort of relax, don't push too hard and, you know, don't freak out. And by the way, all you girls who are worried about whether you're doing a good job or not, don't worry about it. It's just the fact that you're doing it.

1:17:36 Guest The guy is stoked beyond belief.

1:17:37 Adam Yeah. Yeah, he is, especially if he's a civilian. If he's in a band like one of these guys, well, you become a little jaded. Years on the road, a lot of groupies, that kind of stuff. But for your average guy, and what does this guy do?

1:17:52 Caller He plays music. He's a local guy.

1:17:55 Caller Uh-oh.

1:17:56 Adam If he plays music, he may be used to better.

1:17:58 Caller He's not like in the whole band scene, but like.

1:18:01 Caller Oh, they're not, they're not.

1:18:02 Adam He's not making any money?

1:18:05 Caller He works at Coffee Bean.

1:18:06 Adam He works at Coffee Bean?

1:18:07 Caller Yeah.

1:18:07 Adam String quartet. He's excited. Believe me. Believe me, you could just take a tumbler and fill it with lard, and just shove it on there, he'd be excited. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait a minute. I've got to write that down.

1:18:23 Guest Yeah, write that down for me.

1:18:24 Adam Yeah, that may be a good one. Hey, Molly, you're fine. Are you guys in love?

1:18:29 Caller Yeah, I'd say so.

1:18:30 Adam All right.

1:18:31 Caller I mean, as far as a 17-year-old relationship can go, yeah.

1:18:34 Adam All right. Very either super, super mature, or super, super bitter and jaded. I can't figure out which one it is.

1:18:41 Caller It's one of those.

1:18:42 Adam All right. The point is, is you guys just get along in a Mazel Tov.

1:18:47 Caller Thank you.

1:18:47 Adam Is what we have to say. You'll be fine.

1:18:49 Guest That was almost a good pronunciation.

1:18:51 Adam Was it close? I don't, I'm not Jewish, but many people think I am. So I'll take it. And I got a, my step grandfather was Jewish. So I learned a lot of things from him.

1:19:02 Drew Got the lingo down.

1:19:03 Adam Yeah, I got the lingo down. And I know how to guilt too, because he would do that thing. He did, Drew does that. Drew's half Jewish and he does that guilt thing. Like my grandpa would do, I go, Grandpa, I'm leaving now. So you're going to leave? Yes, I'm leaving now. Oh, so you're, oh, so you're leaving? I think you make, I say it four times. So you just feel like a hell. The Gentiles just let you go. Like you tell the Gentile grandpa, I'm leaving now, Grandpa. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. That's the Gentiles, the Jews. They give you a little, little surish as they call it. A little guilt, a little something for the road.

1:19:40 Guest Is that accurate?

1:19:41 Adam Yeah.

1:19:41 Caller That was good.

1:19:41 Adam That good?

1:19:42 Caller All right.

1:19:43 Adam All right. Drew does that. Drew did that to, he'll do that to Ann. Ann will go, I'm going outside. I'm going to wait for the band. Drew will go, they're not here yet. You see? Painful. Yeah. And he's wounded. And Ann will have to go, no, that's why I'm going out to the goddamn park. You'll have to retire. Yes.

1:20:03 Drew If you're gentle, it works even better. It's even worse.

1:20:05 Adam What do they do? What do we do? What do you got?

1:20:08 Drew You have no defenses for that. Oh yeah.

1:20:10 Guest You're saying we're not used to it?

1:20:11 Drew No. Yeah.

1:20:12 Adam We're just, yeah. We are anus is popping out. We don't know what to do.

1:20:16 Drew Yeah.

1:20:17 Adam I'm sort of an honorary Jew. When I was a carpenter, no one ever mistook me for a Jew. But now that I got into show business, that's the common read on me. See? All the years I swung a hammer, never worked with one Jewish guy. But now that I'm in a show business, lots of people think I am. I got the nappy hair.

1:20:37 Drew You got the hair.

1:20:38 Adam I got the big brow. I'm a schvitzer.

1:20:43 Sam? Yeah.

1:20:45 Adam You're 24?

1:20:46 Caller 24.

1:20:47 Adam What's up?

1:20:50 Caller I was with my girlfriend. We were talking about getting married. We both got freaked out, decided to see other people. I knocked her up, the rebound girl.

1:21:03 Adam Well, you knocked her, you knocked your girlfriend up.

1:21:07 Caller No, I knocked up the rebound girl.

1:21:09 Adam Okay, we said you knocked her up.

1:21:10 Caller Yeah. The problem is that my girlfriend, I thought that she'd be done with me.

1:21:15 Caller Well, she's crazy.

1:21:16 Caller She still wants to be with me. Now, I don't know what to do.

1:21:20 Adam Okay. Your girlfriend wants to be with you even though you knocked up the rebound girl.

1:21:24 Guest I think you should purchase Usher's Confessions.

1:21:28 Caller Yeah, that's my life story. I thought that myself.

1:21:33 Guest He's already been there, done that, dude.

1:21:34 Guest He's like, I did, it didn't help.

1:21:37 Drew So, is the rebound girl keeping the baby or? Yeah. Oh, yeah. How far along is she?

1:21:42 Caller Four months.

1:21:45 Adam And I don't know, I think there's a lot of gray area in this topic. Like, do you hang out, become a part of the child's life or you just become a sort of distraction? Would it be better to let her move on, you know, remarry, get the kid consistent?

1:22:02 Guest Well, how do you feel about your ex-girlfriend or girlfriend and as opposed to the rebound girl? I mean, how do you feel like towards them individually?

1:22:11 Caller I mean, to be honest with you, my ex-girlfriend, she was a lot better looking. That's not a lie.

1:22:17 Adam Yeah.

1:22:18 Caller All right.

1:22:18 Adam So that kid could be ugly.

1:22:20 Caller Yeah. I don't want like an ugly kid.

1:22:22 Adam Yeah, they got you and the ugly chick. They don't stand a chance.

1:22:27 Guest He said he didn't want an ugly kid.

1:22:30 Adam Well, it's tough, you know. It's just tough. It's hard to love unattractive people.

1:22:36 Drew So you're willing to step up to the plate and take responsibility for the kid, though.

1:22:39 Caller I am. Yeah, I come from a long line of deadbeat dads. I don't want to be them because my dad was a deadbeat son.

1:22:48 Adam Okay. So there's no chance of that happening.

1:22:50 Drew Do you have a good job?

1:22:52 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:22:54 Adam Where do you work?

1:22:56 Caller For a real estate company.

1:22:58 Adam All right. I'm guessing he's the guy who drives the truck with the signs, real estate signs, and goes and just pounds them into the thing with a single jerk sledge. Sam?

1:23:08 Caller Yeah.

1:23:09 Adam Yeah. It's a good tool name, the single jerk. It's a small sledge hammer. It's like a mini sledge, single jerk. That's kind of like you, Sam, single jerk. You're with, you're back with the new girlfriend, or the old girlfriend now, right?

1:23:21 Caller No, no, no. I'm in between now.

1:23:23 Adam You're in between. All right. If she's going to have this kid, then you're going to have, you're going to be sort of financially obliged to contribute a certain amount every month to raise the child. The question is, do you become a distraction? Do you confuse the kid? Do you show up once a month as Uncle Sam? Uncle Sam? The red, white and blue tuxedo with a top hat.

1:23:48 Guest That happens on April 15th.

1:23:49 Adam Yes. That's when the raping begins. I tell you. I was thinking a lot about that. I'm not going to soften my bid, but I was sitting home and I was thinking, I should give something to this tsunami relief.

1:24:02 Drew Tax deduction.

1:24:03 Adam Then I thought, well, no, I took it a step further. I thought, wait a minute, I gave away hundreds of thousands of dollars to the federal government last year, and they're helping us. So you know what I mean?

1:24:14 Guest I just paid them. Already are?

1:24:15 Adam Yeah, I just said, well, I paid the federal government, and they sent over a couple of helicopters with some bisquick and I'm a whatever they're doing. I'm on my boys. I leave it up to them. Let the pros do it. I pay them.

1:24:27 Caller It's a wee rationalization.

1:24:28 Adam I'll kick in some. All right, Sam. Yeah. You need to do the right thing, and what the right thing is not going to be decided tonight. You got to do what she wants you to do. You got to do what's in your heart. You have to give money.

1:24:44 Caller Which she is that?

1:24:46 Adam Well, she is the woman who's pregnant.

1:24:47 Caller Yeah.

1:24:48 Caller Okay. Okay.

1:24:50 Drew The welfare of that child is your responsibility in some ways. Yes. If she finds some other guy that's great, that's willing to support the kid, and you not being in the picture is better, then maybe.

1:25:00 Adam I am a proponent of you saying, look, if you can hook up with somebody who's consistent, who's going to raise this child as if it was his own, and is going to be here for this child, that would be the best case scenario. Better than I'll be in Florida and I'll send the kid a stuffed animal twice a year.

1:25:21 Drew Yeah. Unlikely, but it's a good scenario.

1:25:23 Adam All right. By the way, this open adoption, you know where the parent comes power, like the teenage mom stops in every couple of weeks and cuddles her kid for a while, and then gets on the L and heads back to the trailer park, like is that going to be freaky for the kid?

1:25:41 Drew Very confusing.

1:25:42 Adam I don't understand that. Everyone's like, oh, that's fantastic, this open adoption. I think it's being selfish. It's like, I don't want to raise the kid. I don't really have the time or money to raise a kid, but he's mine. I want to check him out every couple of weeks and come over there and play the good fairy. Just get all the loves and cuddles and then go back. Will you guys clean up the diapers and make the formula? It's just a weird-

1:26:03 Drew I don't understand. That seems almost like a trend rather than something that has some substance bond.

1:26:07 Adam Yeah, it's like, look, if you're going to give your kid up for adoption, give your kid up for adoption. If you're not, don't, but don't give it to another family to raise and you stop by every month as aunt whoever.

1:26:17 Drew Yeah, very confusing.

1:26:18 Adam Very confusing. All right. Let's take ourselves a break. If you guys want to get in on this pledge, I'm going to reveal my amount. Perhaps, I was going to tell Bruce, but Bruce is driving a car that his sister gave him.

1:26:35 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:26:36 Adam I mean, look, I got to be honest. This is going to be a little painful, but I'm going to save you a couple of bucks.

1:26:40 Drew My family Camry is a wonderful, wonderful car.

1:26:43 Adam His sister gave him like an 86 Camry with two million miles on it, and I had to cosign for the laser. So as much as, I know you're thinking this guy's a doctor, thinks it's been a divorce, thinks it's not been a great year for Bruce. Bruce, I'm saying this to save you a couple of bucks.

1:27:02 Drew I'll donate a guitar.

1:27:03 Adam Donate a guitar? Oh yeah, you have a nice collection of guitar.

1:27:06 Drew Well, actually, the divorce took a toll on that, too, so. But we'll negotiate something.

1:27:11 Adam Maybe you put a guitar in, because you have some very nice guitars.

1:27:14 Guest We'll find a way to make that work.

1:27:15 Adam You should get some money. All right, and I'll reveal my donation after this.

1:27:24 Caller Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:27:27 Caller We'll be right back.

1:27:49 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, Dr. Drew, in Tomorrow Night. We'll see if I can squeeze him for a few bucks, but don't expect any blood to come out of that rock. He's tight, he's tight. Oh yeah, passionate, but tight.

1:28:07 Drew Passionate man.

1:28:08 Adam Super tight. We're talking a little bit tonight with just a few minutes left about the devastation of the tsunami and what people can do to help out those, our brothers in that part of the world. They can go to www.musicforrelief.org and make their donation, or they can call 1-800-HELP-NOW, which is the Red Cross number, and make their donation. Let's take a quick question for Linkin Park. And Arvin.

1:28:44 Caller Yeah.

1:28:45 Adam What the hell kind of name is that? Okay. What's up? You got a question for Linkin Park?

1:28:52 Caller Yeah. I was wondering what's your next new album?

1:28:58 Guest Go ahead, Brad. You got it, man.

1:29:00 Guest Our next new album is coming out a month ago, and it's called Collision Course. Yeah.

1:29:07 Adam And what is it? Is it 18 months between, a year between, two years between? Have you worked out an average yet?

1:29:16 Guest Eighteen albums a year for you guys to think, right?

1:29:19 Guest We're like, I don't know, we're just, we try and just keep ourselves like kind of entertained. You know, that's why this, I think this album, Collision Course is like, it was, it totally blindsided people. You know, it's something that we, with the people wouldn't have never, would have never expected. It's a lot more lighthearted and fun. And I mean, you know, with the CD and DVD with Jay-Z, it's like nobody knew that was going to happen. So hopefully the next thing is as surprising as an exciting or more.

1:29:50 Adam Right.

1:29:50 Guest We don't know. We don't have can't put a timeline on that.

1:29:53 Adam I call the surprise. Rachel.

1:29:55 Caller Yeah.

1:29:56 Adam You're 17.

1:29:58 Caller My name is actually Rachelle. And yeah, I'm 17.

1:30:00 Adam All right. What's up there, Rachelle?

1:30:04 Caller I have sex like a lot. I'm my boyfriend would categorize me as an infomaniac because like I just I can't get enough of him. Because it's annoying. Yeah.

1:30:17 Adam He finds it annoying? Really?

1:30:20 Caller It's annoying for him, not for me. I don't know. I really like to have sex. And like whenever I have sex with him, I orgasm from like three to ten times during whenever we have sex and it could be from anywhere from like.

1:30:34 Adam I could see that getting really annoying if I was in high school. This multi-orgasmic, I'm not in high school.

1:30:40 Drew You're 17, 17.

1:30:42 Caller I'm in college.

1:30:43 Drew OK. How old is your boyfriend?

1:30:44 Caller He's 17.

1:30:45 Drew All right.

1:30:46 Caller He's in high school.

1:30:48 Adam Right.

1:30:49 Guest That's why I'm sure he's bummed about having an older girl who orgasm all the time and wants sex all the time.

1:30:54 Adam Next thing you know, you're going to tell me you have a small ass and huge cans. That's really going to piss him off. I would be beside myself if I were him. Yeah, I said he was in high school, by the way.

1:31:05 Caller Yeah, he is.

1:31:06 Adam Where are you? You're going to junior college?

1:31:09 Caller I'm going to a local community college because I go to high school.

1:31:13 Adam Junior college. Here's all I'm saying. I like to shame the people that go to junior college to get them moving. Because they like to call community college like people who sell their eggs for five grand, call it donating their eggs. It makes them feel better about themselves. Yes, you donated something for 7,500 bucks. That's not donating. Donating is giving you the tsunami relief fund at www.musicforrelief.org. That's donating. You selling an egg is selling an egg. And you are going to junior college, not community college, not two-year college, junior college. And when I'm in charge, it'll be junior, junior college. Yeah. It'll be the equivalent to looking at the kids menu. That's why I went like, ah, this is part of my shame program. Anyone who goes to junior college becomes a junior. When you go to a restaurant, you get the kiddie menu and the high chair. That's right. Now the good news is you get in the movies cheaper. I can't do anything to stop it. Rules are rules. All right? There is a good side to this. But everything else is just junior. You can't buy beer. You can't buy cigarettes. You're junior. Got to eat at Carl's Jr. You got to eat at Carl's Jr. That's right.

1:32:25 Guest Junior mince. You can't eat it.

1:32:27 Adam Junior mince. You can't eat at Bob's Big Boy. It's got big boy in it. You go to the junior place, Junior, sit in that high chair. I don't care if you're 470 pounds. You got to sit in that high chair and you got to read off the menu that just has a spaghetti and macaroni and cheese and chicken fingers.

1:32:42 Drew Yeah. So is Rochelle sexually compulsive with a problem or is she?

1:32:47 Adam All right. Don't get pregnant. Have a good time. Stop acting out. Reel it in a little bit. I think you're freaking the guy out.

1:32:53 Drew Yeah. Well, she also may be sexual addiction does exist. And it has more to do with going after just the feeling without the intimacy.

1:33:01 Adam All right.

1:33:02 Drew Boring. Can be a problem for some.

1:33:04 Adam All right. Let's keep going. Come back. I'll tell you what I'm going to donate to the very worthy cause after this. All right, everybody. That's the show. I think I'm gonna give $3,000. Thank you. Yes.

1:33:47 Guest That's big.

1:33:48 Adam That's really big.

1:33:49 Guest That's almost as much as we spend it at any machines.

1:33:52 Guest That's huge. Adam Carolla, ladies and gentlemen. Putting his money where his mouth is.

1:33:57 Adam Now, I will go to www.musicforeleaf.org and do that.

1:34:04 Guest Yes.

1:34:04 Adam And you guys can call 1-800-HELP-NOW if you want to make a donation as well as go to that website. Hey, Adam.

1:34:11 Caller Yeah.

1:34:12 Adam I don't think Drew is actually out of town.

1:34:13 Guest I think he's at his house.

1:34:14 Caller He just wanted to avoid this whole thing.

1:34:16 Adam Oh, really? Yeah. He figured Linkin Park was coming in.

1:34:19 Guest Hoobastank's coming in. I'll be calling in to solicit tomorrow.

1:34:21 Adam Might cost a nickel. Thanks a lot, guys. You're doing the Lord's work. We really appreciate what you're doing. Well, Hoobastank, Linkin Park, get the CDs, go see them in concert, support these guys. They're not running around knocking up people and suing their managers. They're raising money and putting it in the right place.

1:34:40 Drew And articulate, responsible.

1:34:42 Adam That's right. Keeping it real, as we like to say. Good work, guys, and much luck and success to you. Who's in here tomorrow night? Crystal Method in tomorrow night, along with Dr. Who? I can't remember that guy's name anymore. Dr. Drew. Dr. Bruce. Wonderful job all week long. Thank you. Fantabulous. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Bruce saying, Mahalo.

1:35:07 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:35:11 Drew The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, January 5, 2005