Episode 1000672929535

7:22 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline.

7:42 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew. Filling in for Dr. Bruce tonight. Be quiet. Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist, Ken Jordan and Scott Kirkland here tonight. The Crystal Method, our dear, dear, dear, dear friends, bringing soft tacos and macadamia nuts. Awesome. Happy New Year. Yeah, same to you guys. We love you guys.

8:11 Drew I think the macadamia is from Anderson.

8:12 Adam Oh, we did?

8:13 Drew You brought those?

8:14 No, no, we didn't bring those.

8:16 Adam Well, you brought us Mexican and that's enough, Drew, and good Mexican.

8:19 Drew Not just Mexican.

8:20 Adam Yeah. Place out in La Crescenta, La Canyada. I used to live where, here's the thing, the Crystal Method got started in the place that I lived for the last three years before I literally became a millionaire. Of course, you're still living there. La Crescenta, California, there's a Mexican food place called La Cabanita and it is awesome. It means, it's Spanish, I think it means heroin. You can't stop. Drew ate nine soft tacos and Drew's a man of passion.

8:50 Drew But I'm eating watch out.

8:52 Adam Oh yeah.

8:52 Drew I'm feeding.

8:53 Adam No, he's like a dog in that if you try to get something away from him or just got a digit too close to his puss, he might take one off.

9:04 Drew Or until the action's over.

9:05 Adam Yeah. Well, it settles down. Yeah. It's like it could be your dog in the fight, the dog would still bite you if you're trying to break it up. If it was, you know, if it was game on. And that's how Drew is in the sack and at the table and on the table on rare occasion. The Crystal Method is nominated for a Grammy.

9:26 Yeah. How about that?

9:27 Drew Nice.

9:28 Adam You guys have never been nominated before?

9:30 No, there really wasn't a category. It's a brand new category this year. Best Electronic Slash Dance Album. And there was no real category for electronic albums before. This is the first year. And we had our Legion of Booth came out in 04. And so it was eligible. And we got the nomination.

9:50 Adam The Crystal Method is is a band. I'm trying to it's a little hard to sort of categorize them. But I would say everyone knows who they are. Yep. Yes.

9:59 Drew Yes.

10:00 Adam I don't know if they know who they are. They just know the name. They probably picture a bunch of punks from Liverpool or something.

10:07 Drew In fact, Nicole, who precedes us on K-Rock goes, Are they from England?

10:11 Adam Yeah. You just assume. No. No. I mean, Ken looks like he works on heavy equipment.

10:18 Drew By the way, how many times did we go up to them and introduce ourselves before?

10:21 Adam You.

10:22 You.

10:24 Adam I was down with the Crystal Method. I always knew who they were. They're very, they're very unassuming, almost pedestrian. But they bring that same genius. They bring that same blue collar work ethic to the dance floor every night. Yes. Yes. Yes. And so now finally, they've been recognized by the Academy and they're nominated on who you against. A bunch of Liverpool fags, right?

10:47 Well, all British, actually.

10:50 You're a good friend, Paul Oakenfold.

10:52 Adam Screw him. Oh, wait. Who is that? He was up here once. Yeah, he was up here. We didn't like him, did we?

10:59 Baseman Jacks, Paul Randag, and Prodigy.

11:02 Adam Oh, Prodigy. Yeah. Now, have they been on the scene and we haven't known it or they make a comeback?

11:08 They put out a new album. They went a long time between albums and they just put out their latest album towards the end of last year.

11:15 Drew What is the category?

11:16 Best electronic dance album. First year for them.

11:21 Adam Yeah.

11:21 Drew Interesting.

11:22 Adam Yeah.

11:22 Drew Nice.

11:23 Adam He mentioned it three times ten minutes ago, Drew. You were just too busy belching up Tornitas.

11:28 Drew I was thinking about the next talk. I'm thinking about re-feeding.

11:31 Adam It's really good. All right. Where are we, Drew?

11:36 Drew Taking calls.

11:37 Adam We're taking calls. We're going to hear something off of Legion of Boom, which is the nominated CD. When are the Grammys? March?

11:44 February 18th. 13th.

11:46 Adam Oh, coming. That's going to be exciting. Yeah. Show up a couple of porn stars. It's going to be awesome. Yeah. Have you been to the Grammys?

11:55 No. This will be our first time.

11:58 Adam Drew, have you been? No. As you know, I went to the Grammys. With the Dixie Chicks. Let me say this. They won two Grammys. This is a pre-... I'm sure they have 25 now, but this is the first two, which is the most important. I'm not saying anything, but I am pretty much two for two.

12:18 We should take you. That's what he's saying.

12:20 Adam That's not what I'm saying, but that's exactly what I'm saying. You should take me. I'm almost guaranteed success, or you could look at it as I'm papped out. I'm out of Grammys.

12:31 Drew I'm reading Ken's mind as a horn star, Adam. Horn star, Adam. Girlfriend.

12:36 Adam Yeah. Now, look, there are things I can do to a man. I mean, only a man knows. I know what you need, Ken. Let's face it. It comes in a hairier package, but I know. You close your eyes, you're all hopped up on champagne, the limo's dark. You're not going to know what hits you, brother. And we got those Grammys.

12:57 Drew But only a man knows.

12:58 Adam Yeah. This thing of being with a hairy man will wear off long before those two Grammys will ever tarnish.

13:04 Drew Provided that his scrotum doesn't fixate you.

13:06 Adam Yeah. A lot of scrotum.

13:08 That's all right.

13:09 Adam I can handle it.

13:10 All right.

13:10 Adam You ready to go, here, Drew?

13:11 Drew Take some call.

13:12 All right.

13:14 Adam Is that Azzy?

13:14 Drew That's what it looks like.

13:15 Adam Azzy?

13:16 Drew Yeah.

13:16 Adam You're 18?

13:17 Drew What's up?

13:18 Hey. Well, my thing with sex is, I've been sexually active since I was 13, and the thing is whenever I went and engaged in sex within the first five minutes, the orgasm will be right at each other.

13:33 Drew What at the what? Well, we'll stop down. Right at the what?

13:35 Oh.

13:36 After each other?

13:37 Yeah.

13:37 Adam After each other?

13:38 For example, the longest I can actually go if I have an orgasm is like 14 seconds, and if I try to hold them back, the next one will be like really big and strong, and I've tried going online and finding SSI to help me out.

13:52 Drew Wait a minute. You're what they call multiply orgasmic. You're blessed. Yeah, you're blessed. What are you doing?

13:58 They will come after each other constantly, and they will physically drain me, and after an hour, I'll be physically drained, and the next hour, I will want it again, and I have tried exercises.

14:10 Adam Ken just found his new Grammy gate, by the way. I think I'm out.

14:16 Drew Why do you go a full hour if it's so unpleasant to you after the hour?

14:19 No, it's not unpleasant. It physically drains me. That's the thing, but I don't like it.

14:23 Drew So you need to go until you're drained. Is that right? Right.

14:25 And the thing with me is, you know, I don't care how much it comes, but it physically just keeps interrupting, just keeps coming, and I would like to go have an orgasm. And I have tried, you know, vaginal exercises, but when I use them, they will make them more stronger in power.

14:39 Drew No, wait, you're, wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

14:41 Wow.

14:42 Drew You've got, you're all screwed up here.

14:43 Hold on.

14:44 Drew So the problem is-

14:45 Adam We're going to need some DNA from you.

14:46 What is the problem?

14:48 I think I know what the problem is. She's complaining that she keeps on at orgasming, and she just wants to go with the flow and let her partner enjoy the moment.

14:58 Adam Look at this. I have a vagina. I'm a genius.

15:01 Drew Yeah. What I'm hearing, as it's a little different, I'm hearing that you have multiple, multiple orgasms, which is a good thing, and only about 5 or 10 percent of women actually ever are capable of that. You're wired that way. That's what you have. But the problem is, as I hear it, you are never satisfied. You have to go until you're completely exhausted. Then an hour later, you want to go again.

15:22 No. I will have all life I truly wanted. It's just I'm not going to stop because the orgasm will keep coming. I would just actually like to enjoy it without having them again. Like the longest time I can actually.

15:35 Drew The reason why you enjoy multiple orgasms is bewildering.

15:39 As you say, each one isn't long enough. She says 14 seconds is really funny.

15:44 When I have an orgasm, it looks like I'm having a seizure. That's what my boyfriend told me.

15:48 Drew Yeah.

15:49 I physically shake all over and I don't want to stop every second. For example, that's why I can't do a mission. Whenever we have a mission impossible, I'm swallowing off the bag because I can't hold the orgasm to the point where they have to hold me down in bed. Every couple of minutes, I don't care, but the longest I can not have an orgasm for 14 seconds, that means I have one.

16:08 Drew You understand that from a male's point of view, to say I'm having an orgasm, I can't enjoy, those words don't go together.

16:13 They love that, but me, every second it just comes and comes and comes. I would like to be able to.

16:18 Adam All right, hold on.

16:20 Drew We can't, we can't get her to.

16:21 Adam You're breaking my heart, sweetie, with your, with you just at Niagara Falls, coming out of your vagina filled with orgasms.

16:28 Drew I thought at first she said that she can't, she has to exhaust herself physically, and then she wants to go down. She's not really sad.

16:33 Adam I'm not a doctor, but how about rubbing a little coke down there?

16:36 Drew I know.

16:37 Adam It couldn't hurt.

16:38 Drew This is, she also let us in on a clue that she was sort of sexually abused. She let go when she was 13.

16:44 Adam Azzy, any sexual abuse?

16:47 Drew How about, she had sexual activity at 13. That is, that is...

16:51 Adam It's a cultural thing.

16:52 Drew No, no, no, no.

16:52 Adam What color are you?

16:54 Well, I'm African American.

16:55 Adam Blade Bloomer. I call them spinstresses, if they could start at 13.

16:59 Because I was in high school at the age of 13. I was in 9th grade and, you know, homer came in early. What can I say? And so I was actually like to be able to control my orgasm to the point where...

17:08 Adam Okay. How about, I don't know what we can physically do to tell you.

17:12 Drew You cannot change anything.

17:13 Adam How about meditation? How about you start meditating?

17:14 Drew This is how she's wired. I've tried that one. And she's already been on SSRI. She's been on serotonin reuptake inhibitor.

17:20 Adam Oh, really?

17:21 Drew Can you say that?

17:22 I've tried yoga meditation.

17:23 I've tried exercising.

17:25 Adam Okay. How about this? How about the sort of freedom in letting go?

17:28 Drew Yeah, just let it go.

17:29 Adam How about you don't go into the bedroom with such incredible expectations? Don't try to control everything.

17:34 Drew Yeah, she should just let it go.

17:35 Adam I have that horse, be a horse that just roams where it will.

17:39 Drew Or maybe she feels ashamed that she's like seizing there with the guy. He's making fun of her or something. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's fine.

17:44 It's good.

17:45 Drew You're blessed.

17:46 Adam Climb on the orgasm pony and let it go where the wind takes it. Yes?

17:52 Drew Yes.

17:53 Some pharmaceutical companies would like to study her.

17:56 Drew Absolutely, of course.

17:57 Adam Yeah, it's weird that it's-

18:00 Drew I've never talked to multiple orgasmic women for whom that is a problem, but they can't like manage it.

18:05 Adam Yeah.

18:05 Drew Usually those are the ones that are like thinking all their friends are lying about how difficult it is to have an orgasm and they're just fine with it. All right.

18:11 Adam All right. Just get with the guy, get comfortable. But I think sexually, women come in and we talk to the other side of the coin all the time, which is I got to force an orgasm out of myself. I got to focus. I'm not focusing enough or how do I do it? Women can't go into the bedroom with a whole laundry list of goals. You know what I mean? They screw themselves up because they're not physically wired like we are. We can go in with a goal. For me, not pull a calf muscle, for instance, is one on top. I'll tend to cramp up on the calf.

18:43 Drew Think how different her wiring is though than other women who have trouble having orgasms. Right.

18:48 Adam All right. And then don't talk that way in front of any of my old girlfriends, by the way, though, because they'll freak out and try to kill you.

18:54 Drew What way?

18:54 Adam Oh, I have millions of orgasms. I don't know what to do with my orgasms. I light a cigar with an orgasm every once in a while. I'm that rich with orgasms. All right, we got to break and eat more Mexican. That's true. I know we're going about 15 minutes early, but the stuff's getting cold, right?

19:10 Drew I'm hungry.

19:10 Adam All right. The Crystal Method in Studio Tonight will hear a song. What's the longest track you have on Leech Up?

19:19 Drew So he can eat?

19:21 Adam Oh, there's one called Adam Eats a Churro. It's 14 minutes and 27 seconds long. Now seriously, what is the longest cut you got on here? You got, what do you think? Because I know the dance, the electronic and dance can be.

19:36 The longest one I think is the long version of Bound Too Long, which is on there, which is about seven plus minutes.

19:44 Adam So if we played it twice, it'd be close to 15?

19:47 We'd fill up the half an hour pretty quickly.

19:49 Adam All right. Well, that's that. And the thing about the thing about the techno and the dance is electronic music is it doesn't exactly play like, like you wouldn't, you wouldn't want to hear the same Eagle song three times. But this is almost soundtrack. You know what I mean? It's just, it's, it's, it's almost, it's like they've, they've, they put music to your life.

20:08 Drew Yes.

20:08 Adam Yes.

20:09 Yes.

20:09 Adam Yeah.

20:10 I think we could get away with that.

20:11 Drew And eat.

20:12 Adam And eat. Justin?

20:15 Hello?

20:17 Adam You're, uh, 18?

20:18 Hey, what's going on?

20:20 Adam Hey, is this Justin's dad?

20:22 No.

20:23 Adam This is Justin.

20:25 Yes, sir.

20:25 Adam Not a virgin.

20:27 Drew What a screwball.

20:29 Adam What's up, brother?

20:31 I have a question for Dr. Drew. I was wondering what percentage of males can give themselves an oral? Ooh.

20:42 Drew An oral?

20:43 Adam Yeah. What about it, Drew? Can? Who else?

20:47 Drew Just can.

20:48 Just can.

20:49 Adam What percentage of males can give themselves a BJ.? Drew, any studies?

20:55 Drew No studies on that. That's not something the government likes spending its money on, I suspect, nor universities.

21:00 Adam All right, but someone's got to get done.

21:02 Drew Limber. Limber. And by the way, I would say less than half are interested in trying. Yeah.

21:09 Adam It's an interesting philosophical question that Jimmy and I have brought up at the morning show way back in the day many times, which is, do you do it if you get a shot at it? It's interesting.

21:21 There was a Will Ferrell skit on Saturday Night Live where he was doing yoga and he finally was able to get all the way over and he was doing it.

21:29 Drew That's nice.

21:29 Adam Well, here's the thing. Here's the arguments that people make, pro and con, because there is a camp.

21:38 Drew It definitely means you're homosexual.

21:40 Adam If you think it's disgusting, you're using your hand though, right?

21:44 Drew It's your hand.

21:45 Adam Okay. All right. But it's the difference between murder one and manslaughter, but still there's a body on the ground. You know what I mean? It's not quite the same, but still, it's the same neighborhood.

21:59 Drew You're focusing on something else, not a yoga act.

22:03 Adam You don't think I could blow myself and think about other things?

22:07 Drew You might be able to operate the remote, but you would be seeing it so well.

22:10 Adam Move your balls aside so you can see the TV.

22:13 Yeah. You have to be so focused on the oral sex that you would be homosexual.

22:19 Adam I'll tell you what I think I could do. I think I could use it as a little kickstart. You know what I mean? Just a little something to get me head in the right direction.

22:29 Drew Salad.

22:30 Adam Yeah. Just a little, just one tug of the lawnmower pole, you know.

22:36 Ron Jeremy always says he can do it, right? He's one of the clumsy kids.

22:39 Adam Yeah. And here's the thing too, by the time you can get there, there's almost no technique involved. You know what I mean? You just don't have enough to work with. The question is, what if you could pull your thing off and just plant it on a bar? Would you do it? Would you do it? And then what if your mom caught you? That'd be weird. And you'd be like, no, no, mom, this is mine. I mean, oh, Christ, don't tell dad. That's when you have to yell when she ran out.

23:06 Drew I just ate Mexican.

23:07 Adam All right. Drew's going to throw up. All right.

23:11 Drew Let's speak to Claire. I'm going to give an answer at less than 0.0001%.

23:15 Adam Really? 0.0001%.

23:18 Drew I would say about 10% are interested in it.

23:20 Adam What percentage of guys do you think could make contact with the penis with their tongue?

23:25 Drew Excluding those that would not be interested in trying or including those.

23:29 Adam It just physically could do it if you took every single guy.

23:33 Drew It's got to be a fraction of a percent.

23:35 Adam Fraction of, really? I think many guys in certain cultures, like certain African cultures, longer, leaner, you know what I mean? I think they could do it. I think it may be up around... Gymnasts. Gymnasts. I think it could be up to around 2% who could make contact.

23:51 I got you.

23:51 Adam If there was an electrical circuit, you know, that you just had to... Yeah?

23:55 Okay. I'll give that.

23:57 Adam Let me try it on you.

23:58 No. Okay.

23:59 Claire?

24:00 The Crystal Method Hi.

24:01 Adam You're 26?

24:02 The Crystal Method Yes.

24:03 Adam What's up?

24:04 The Crystal Method I have a question for Dr. Drew.

24:07 What's up, Claire?

24:08 The Crystal Method Hey, guys. Basically, about two years ago, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend at the time. You know, I took birth precautions, I had my birth control, and I had my... obviously, I used protection.

24:23 Hey, Claire?

24:24 Drew Claire? Yeah. That was your first time with that boyfriend, or your first time ever?

24:28 The Crystal Method Ever.

24:28 Ever.

24:29 The Crystal Method I'm sorry.

24:30 Drew 24. Pretty...

24:31 Yeah.

24:32 Adam Claire?

24:33 The Crystal Method Yeah?

24:33 Adam If you could get to my penis, would you put it in your mouth? Now hold on, this is a study we're doing.

24:41 The Crystal Method Okay, if I could what?

24:44 Adam If you could get to my penis.

24:46 Drew From where you are.

24:47 Adam From where you are, you will put it in your mouth, right?

24:51 The Crystal Method I plead the fifth.

24:52 Adam Alright, that's a yes.

24:55 Drew Always, always the fifth is guilty.

24:56 Adam That's right.

24:57 Yeah, I see.

24:58 Adam Alright, so it says here you have warts, yes?

25:03 The Crystal Method Yeah, and then I was diagnosed. I have eight months later.

25:08 Drew Alright, well pretty much everybody gets those, so there you go.

25:10 The Crystal Method Okay, well basically, I mean, so now I was traumatized by the whole thing because I, you know, I asked my boyfriend at that time and he said he was, you know, clean and everything. And I mean, I know you can't really go by asking, taking people's word for it, but.

25:27 Drew Clare, he doesn't, men often don't know they carry that virus.

25:30 The Crystal Method Really?

25:30 Drew Women, women for the same thing, but they're, roughly 50% of the people in the city where you live have that. They're young and sexually active.

25:37 The Crystal Method Well, as a result, you know, I guess I've been traumatized with it because, you know, I mean, what a way to go. I mean, you know, first time.

25:43 Drew Wait, wait, wait, but Clare, listen, if you're sexually active and you live in Chicago, you're going to have this virus. That's the probability.

25:49 Adam I got it for myself. It was part of that 2% that could.

25:54 Drew And then got the HPV.

25:55 Adam I gave it to myself.

25:56 Drew What a shock.

25:57 Adam It was rough. At first, I was angry at myself. It was uncomfortable. Phone call. I got to say.

26:03 Drew More uncomfortable than actually the act?

26:05 Adam It was. It was humiliating. And then I had to call my hand and it was.

26:10 Drew Oh, I apologize.

26:11 Adam Oh, yes. Oh, the hand was like not talking.

26:14 Drew Devastated.

26:15 Adam Devastated. I could tell it was angry, but I didn't know.

26:19 Drew Look at it, it's squirming even now.

26:20 Adam Felt betrayed.

26:20 So she said, what a way to go like she had died.

26:23 Adam Yeah. Now, listen, Clare, now, Drew, you dumped acetic acid on my penis and hit it with a woods light. Didn't see it.

26:32 Drew Didn't see it. Even though I believe to this day that was a disposable penis.

26:35 Yeah.

26:36 Adam Nothing there but a little of the chapstick I was wearing.

26:38 Drew Some sort of magic trick. I know it. But the point is... Maybe you want the chapstick. I mistook it for the...

26:43 Adam Drew says that people living in urban areas...

26:48 Drew Very common...

26:49 Adam .that are young, almost 50 percent. That's what they say. And you say, what? That's incredible. A lot of people don't know they have it.

26:55 Drew Yes. And a lot of people... It's not a big deal. For men, it means nothing. And for women, it can be managed rather easily. So let's talk to her about it.

27:01 She doesn't have a question about it.

27:03 Adam What's her question? I want to hear Crystal...

27:06 Drew What's her question about the taco song? What's your question, Crystal Taco?

27:09 Adam Yeah. There's a band name.

27:11 Drew What's your question?

27:13 Adam What kind of song do you want?

27:15 Something hot and spicy.

27:18 Adam Yeah. From the Crystal Taco. Anderson blew a basket over there. No, I think he's not high tonight. Anderson, where did you find this taco song? It's a South Park taco song. You watch South Park every night. You never heard the taco song?

27:49 Drew I think I have.

27:51 Adam Claire, sorry for that. I know it's a very important call.

27:54 Drew What was your question?

27:54 The Crystal Method I'm sorry. Basically, I guess you could say I was traumatized by the whole thing and I was upset and angry. Eventually, after we broke up anyways, but eventually I managed to find a new boyfriend. Now I told him, I explained to him the thing, and he's practically still scared. I mean, he's scared and I can understand that, but I mean, I try to understand.

28:19 Drew The probability is he already has the virus. What's your question?

28:23 Adam That's not going to help her because he's just going to say no.

28:25 The Crystal Method A dildo and so...

28:27 Adam You got a dildo?

28:29 The Crystal Method A dildo, yeah. Yeah. Or a vibrator. I'm sorry, a vibrator. And I've never used that even before.

28:34 Adam I could get to one of those, I think.

28:35 The Crystal Method Okay, vibrator.

28:37 Adam Vibrator, yeah.

28:38 The Crystal Method And so, you know, I went to the store and I just happened to grab the one off. I went in by myself and I didn't want to be stuck there, so I grabbed the one I first saw and it was a nine-inch one. So anyway, I'm having a hard time inserting it and I use lubrication. And I don't know, I mean, and I don't even feel any sensation, is it because I'm still...

28:59 Drew Were you sexually abused growing up?

29:01 The Crystal Method No.

29:03 Adam All right. Well, hold on a second.

29:04 The Crystal Method No, no, I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh, but...

29:06 Adam Claire, but let me say this. The vibrator, you don't need to put in you. You can just kind of put it on you.

29:12 Drew Yeah, they're not meant to be abused on the outside, right? You understand that's where you...

29:17 Adam You have to read the instructions.

29:20 Drew Most women don't get much from putting things inside.

29:22 The Crystal Method Oh, really?

29:24 Oh, wow.

29:25 Drew 26.

29:26 The Crystal Method No, seriously. I mean, so, you know, basically we try... I mean, I get more sensation on the outside than on the inside. And he's telling me, come on, you know, you can do it. And he gets so frustrated, and I'm frustrated. And it's just like, I don't understand. Maybe...

29:42 Adam Hold on. Is this the guy behind the counter? Or is this...

29:45 This is the new boyfriend that's afraid of the ward.

29:47 Adam Because these guys work off commission. So you shouldn't trust them. They'll say, oh, that dildo looks great on you. But that dildo makes you look thin. They'll sell you a whole line. They'll tell you the 2005s are coming in and it's dealing days. We got to move. We got to move stock.

30:05 Drew Oops.

30:07 Adam Wait a minute, Clare. Hold on a second. I'm very intrigued with Clare.

30:12 Drew All right.

30:13 Adam I got to say this. I got to be honest. Three minutes ago, I'm thinking, let's play a Crystal Taco. We'll play the song. The song will be four minutes. That'll lead us into the break. We get eight minutes. I'll get a taco in me. But Clare came back so strong with this vibrator story.

30:29 Drew It's not even a vibrator. It's just a dildo, right?

30:31 Adam I think it was a dildo then turned into a vibrator. No, maybe it is. Does everyone know the definition?

30:37 Drew Nine-inch vibrator?

30:40 Adam Yeah. They got those. Oh, hold on a second. Clare takes batteries, right?

30:47 The Crystal Method Yes.

30:49 I think that's the difference. Your boyfriend is afraid of one of the warts.

30:54 Drew What's his plan? Never going to have sex again?

30:56 The Crystal Method I don't know. I mean, I'm really frustrated. And, you know, he keeps, I guess, putting the blame. He's like, well, you know, I don't know, he just says, see what you've done. You know, you basically.

31:06 Are they visible? I don't know. I'm not too familiar with general words.

31:10 Drew You have them.

31:11 The Crystal Method They're not visible.

31:12 Drew You figure you have them.

31:12 Adam According to Drew, everyone has them.

31:13 The Crystal Method They're not visible at the moment.

31:15 Drew No, they're not visible to guys, oftentimes either.

31:18 The Crystal Method Right. You don't know it.

31:19 Drew Right. You don't know it. But most people have it, Clare. You don't seem to get that through your head, no matter how often I say it. And you just wear a condom, and that tends to reduce the risk of transmission.

31:27 Is she honest? Does she need to be this honest with her boyfriend?

31:30 Drew Yes, she should be. It's a good thing to be that way. But she puts a condom on.

31:32 What about the condom?

31:34 Adam Hold on. I put her on hold. I'm intrigued.

31:36 Drew We'll go back.

31:36 Adam I'm not done with her. The Crystal Method is here tonight. We're going to hear something off the Legion of Boom. Nominated for Grammy, everybody. They might be bringing the Good Luck Charm with them in February. Are there any more tacos in that bag?

31:48 Drew Oh, yeah.

31:49 I don't know if there are any more tacos.

31:50 Drew What?

31:51 Seriously? There's a lot of chips and salsa.

31:53 Drew The salsa's good, though.

31:54 The salsa's good. We'll have to take a look.

31:56 Adam Adam's looking for a taco. Someone's got to head into La Caminita and break into that place because I need another taco. All right. We'll check that out and we'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Scott and Ken here tonight. The Crystal Method is the name you know them by. The Legion of Boom is the name of the Grammy nominated CD you heard Drew just put down. Why don't we... Got some of that Moli sauce in me.

32:49 That's good.

32:51 Adam I'm gonna need a nap soon, though.

32:53 Drew Keep going.

32:54 Adam All right.

32:54 Drew We'll be fine.

32:55 Adam We left off by speaking to Claire. Claire's 26. She's got a certain way about her.

33:00 Drew She's waiting till she was 24 to have sex, but...

33:02 Adam Did she wait until 24? Is that what she said? Yes.

33:05 Drew And then freaked out about having HPV, but is now diligently trying to make her current boyfriend happy, who's telling her that she's ruined everything, so therefore he's gonna make it right by making her use a dildo.

33:16 Adam Yeah, but she went out and got the dildo.

33:18 Drew Yep, to make him happy. And she doesn't feel anything when she uses it.

33:21 Adam Claire.

33:22 The Crystal Method Yes.

33:23 Drew Is that about summing up?

33:24 Adam No. She got the dildo for herself. Am I right, Claire?

33:28 The Crystal Method No, actually, I'm sorry. I called it a dildo, but it's a vibrator because it's battery-operated. He told me to go, why don't we try it? So he sent me to go and get it.

33:36 Drew He sent me to go get it.

33:37 Adam He did, okay. It's also a vibrator if it runs off 110, 220 or propane. Actually, I found two.

33:45 Drew Nine-inch thing.

33:47 The Crystal Method Basically, I grabbed, I mean, I've never been in those places before, those type of places. And I was the only girl there and I got freaked out enough. People staring at me.

33:55 Drew Why isn't he?

33:56 Adam Oh, wait a minute. Wait, did they have to fire it up before they gave it to you? Because they do, there's no returns.

34:03 The Crystal Method Actually, it was just going to joke around and ask him what's the return policy on that. But I think that's too scary.

34:07 Adam They fire them up. They fire them up to let you know they're working because you can't come back.

34:12 Drew She's jovial. She's never been in a sex shop before. In there is joking around with the guy while she has the 9-inch tilde on the counter. What's the return policy here?

34:20 The Crystal Method I got nervous. I don't know what else to say.

34:24 Drew Very good natured about this. But here's the deal. I have two questions. A. Why doesn't he perform oral sex on you?

34:31 Adam He's too afraid. Can he get warts for that?

34:33 Drew Not really, no.

34:34 No?

34:35 Drew No, he's not going to do that.

34:36 B.

34:37 Drew Why doesn't he put a condom on and have sex with you? Because if he has another girlfriend, she's going to have warts too, because that's just the probability.

34:45 Adam Yeah, not from you, but...

34:46 Drew From somebody else.

34:47 Adam Right. Claire, what about a condom?

34:51 The Crystal Method He's still afraid. I don't know. He just...

34:54 Adam I don't think he's afraid. I think he's punishing you.

34:56 Drew He sounds like a bad guy.

34:57 Adam I think he's screwing with you. Guys do this sometimes.

35:00 He does want her to have some joy, so he can... he asks her...

35:03 Drew Although he punishes her...

35:04 .to get the vibrator.

35:05 Drew Yeah, but he's demanding that she insert a nine-inch needle there when she wins a little bit.

35:09 Adam Vibrator.

35:10 Drew I know, but she's interested in clitoral stimulation. He's not paying attention.

35:13 So you just perform oral on him?

35:16 Yeah, basically.

35:17 The Crystal Method I get nothing out of it. I really don't.

35:19 That's why he said, yeah, go, honey, go get a vibrator. Work it out on your own.

35:23 After I'm done, take this.

35:25 Yeah, I want to go watch... Hey, that's the vibrator, not the remote.

35:29 Drew Give me the remote. Yeah, this is the guy who does it. I mean, Claire, you don't put up with this.

35:33 Adam Claire, we don't like this guy. No, you don't. No, and I don't think you should, either. okay, Claire, here's what's going on. You're walking around feeling like damaged goods. Yeah, I do.

35:45 Drew You're not.

35:45 Adam I know. You have something that half the people between, you know, 18 and 35 have in metropolitan areas, and you're walking... half the supermodels out there probably got this.

35:57 Drew Half?

35:58 The Crystal Method Probably.

36:00 Drew Claire, you're not hearing us.

36:02 Adam What do you know about supermodels?

36:03 Drew Do you not believe me that half people have this?

36:08 The Crystal Method Well, that's what my doctor said, and she told me.

36:11 Adam Claire, Claire. Something's wrong with her self-esteem.

36:14 Drew Claire, I'm a doctor. Another doctor's told you the same thing. Why can't you believe us?

36:19 The Crystal Method Because I guess it's with the person that I care so much about keeps telling me.

36:24 Adam This guy's not a good guy. You're feeling like damaged goods, and he's making sure you feel like damaged goods. Meanwhile, he's doubling down on his oral pleasure. I don't like this guy.

36:36 Drew You're a normal young adult.

36:38 Adam Go get a nice guy. Put a condom on and go to town. And you'll probably find a guy who has it.

36:45 Drew I find it bizarre that two professionals tell you the same thing independently, and you're going to just dismiss that?

36:51 Adam I don't like this guy.

36:52 The Crystal Method I guess it's stubbornness.

36:54 Is this just your second person that you've had sex with?

36:58 The Crystal Method I didn't even have sex with him yet. I mean, I'm sure I have to, but I mean...

37:03 Drew He's the second guy she's been sexually active with. You're not being stubborn. You're insistent on feeling bad. You've got to feel ashamed. For some reason, you need to feel ashamed. That's why I asked you about sexual abuse. All right, stop it.

37:14 Adam For what?

37:15 Drew For having something everybody has? Yeah.

37:17 Adam Well, now at least we know Drew has it, because he won't shut up about it.

37:20 The Crystal Method I just feel guilty, because, you know...

37:21 Adam All right, that's enough. That's enough. I don't like this guy. No, no, no. And by the way, this is grounds for dismissal. I don't need to hear any more about him. I don't care if he's good to the elderly. I don't care if he's a Catholic big brother, or he donates his weekends to the retarded folks. He is a bad guy. He needs to go.

37:39 Drew Yes.

37:39 Adam Yes? Get rid of him.

37:42 I don't know why she's so day. I know.

37:43 Drew She needs to feel that way for whatever reason. Right. That's because she was abused.

37:46 Adam Bad dad. She's got to have a horrible dad.

37:49 Drew The 24-year-old waiting till she's a virgin till 24. Okay.

37:52 Adam Liz?

37:53 Yeah.

37:55 Drew Real quick.

37:55 Adam No. I want to hear Crystal Method.

37:57 Drew After this question, we'll do Crystal Method.

37:58 Adam You got herpes one year ago, no reaction. But now, pee is rosy color.

38:04 Yeah.

38:05 Adam Is that a herpes thing?

38:07 Drew No. What do you mean? What could it be?

38:09 A year ago, I got herpes and I had a reaction for a couple of days. And my doctor told me that throughout the year, I might get a reaction again. And I haven't. I'm wondering, is that normal?

38:21 Drew To have outbreaks?

38:22 Yeah.

38:24 Drew Yes. Herpes always recur. That's what defines the illness.

38:27 Adam That's a lot of venereal disease to a lot of people.

38:30 Drew It always recurs, Liz. It never goes away.

38:35 Was she wondering if she didn't have an outbreak? If that's normal?

38:39 No. I had an outbreak once, but I haven't had one since. And it's been a year.

38:43 Drew Well, you've never had one since. But they said you had another one now.

38:47 I've never had one since. No, she's... I've never had one.

38:50 Drew Well, it's A, as you're thinking, it's possibly a misdiagnosis. Because really the recurrence is what defines the disease. And if you don't see a recurrence, it's rather unusual. It happens. That's rather unusual. And some people have very, very infrequent outbreaks. Have you had the same partner that whole year?

39:04 No.

39:05 Drew Have you had different partners?

39:07 Yeah. The guy who gave it to me said he didn't and he ran off.

39:10 And I never heard from him.

39:11 Adam Did he physically run?

39:13 Because I like that.

39:14 Adam And did it make that sound? That sound where it sounds like a paint can with a ball in it?

39:19 Yeah, it was like some foil motion running.

39:21 Adam Anderson, make that sound. Make the running sound. Come on.

39:25 There you go.

39:29 Adam Hey, Liz, you have a kid? No. No.

39:32 Drew Why did you say that?

39:33 Adam I thought I heard a kid for some reason.

39:35 Drew It's possible that wasn't herpes. It's not uncommon for there to be a misdiagnosis. It's very hard to clarify the diagnosis because you can only really definitively diagnose when there's an outbreak through viral culture. I don't trust the blood test. I think they're very inaccurate.

39:47 Adam Why don't they get better with those?

39:48 Drew Because everyone gets exposed to that virus. So to test antibodies is just a very poor way to do it.

39:52 Adam Oh, really?

39:52 Drew Yeah.

39:53 Adam So people would have false positives?

39:55 Drew You have a lot of false positives, a lot. You have to have a very high suspicion. There's something here about the rosy colored pea though. What was that?

40:03 Adam Maybe she's just looking at her urine through rose colored lenses. Liz, I've done that.

40:08 For the past three days, pea is yellow and my pea has always been yellow.

40:13 Adam Slow down.

40:14 Drew Slow down.

40:16 The Crystal Method I'm proud of that. For the past three days though.

40:18 Adam Is it like banana yellow, corvette yellow? It's different yellow.

40:23 Drew Neon yellow.

40:24 It's been coming out like a peach color.

40:27 The Crystal Method Peach color.

40:28 Maybe I was on my period if I was spotting.

40:32 Drew That's a possibility. Are you having any pain when you urinate?

40:35 The Crystal Method No.

40:35 No burning sensation.

40:37 Drew Here's the deal. Here's the deal. That's why I want to take her call quickly. It could be a urinary tract infection. That's probably the most common reason someone your age would... The peach color, the pinky color is blood. The most common reason would be a urinary tract infection and or as you suspect your period contaminating it. But blood in the urine is actually a very serious... It is. Very serious.

40:57 Adam Not as serious as blood in the stool.

40:59 Drew It's more serious. It is. It can mean immediate and intrinsic severe disease of the kidney itself. Blood in the stool in somebody her age would not be a big deal. It would be hemorrhoid 99 times out of 100. But blood, genuine blood in the urine, if it's not a urine infection, you need a kidney evaluation. Because there are many different kidney diseases that cause actual blood in the urine.

41:18 Adam Is that right? You were a real doctor or just a love doctor?

41:23 Drew I can tell you, I've never seen crenated blood cells in the urine and non-crenated blood cells.

41:26 Adam Well, let's get into that over some urination ourselves. The Crystal Method is in the studio tonight. We need to... I shouldn't say need to. We would like to hear something off of the Grammy nominated CD, Legion of Boom.

41:40 I have our first song written down right here.

41:44 Adam Michelle, you good to go?

41:46 All right.

41:46 Adam From the Crystal Method, this is called Born Too Slow. That's The Crystal Method.

44:52 Dear, dear, dear.

44:54 Taco, packin.

44:56 Adam Crystal Method. Scott and Ken here tonight. Another good one. From Legion of Doom. Grammy nominated. All right, we'll hear something else in the 11 o'clock hour. When we come back from this brief break, we'll speak to Tracy. Bisexual for about four years.

45:13 Drew 13.

45:14 Since 13.

45:15 Drew That's not bisexual.

45:17 Adam You say, abuse? We'll find out after this.

45:25 If you need help, call Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

45:42 Drew My kizzr, my kizzr, my kizzr, I see you don't lose it. It's all kizzr. It's always like my kizzr. It's always like one zoom, one z, one zoom, zoom, z.

45:54 Adam Once you have it, you don't lose it.

45:56 Drew I thought I was losing my memory.

45:57 Adam No way. You're sharp as you ever were.

46:00 Dr. Drew in the hizzy.

46:06 Adam The Crystal Method in studio tonight. Ken and Scott, both here representing. They're all of the Crystal Method, by the way. Do you guys ever get confused, think they're more people, think they're different color, different ethnicity or come from a different part of the world? You must surprise people.

46:27 They assume we're British a lot. And, you know, they'll say, what do you play? You know?

46:34 Right.

46:35 There was a guy once that went around Arizona pretending he was Ken Jordan.

46:39 Wow.

46:40 And he was getting in the strip clubs and trying to get him in the parties by saying he was Ken Jordan.

46:45 But he was actually, he was trying to buy cars and ripping people off. Oh, really?

46:49 Yeah. Really?

46:51 Adam So he would like go to a strip club and go, I'm Ken Jordan from The Crystal Method.

46:54 Because a lot of people don't know what we would look like.

46:56 Right.

46:57 He actually went to a few of our shows and was saying he was from some clothing company and everything. This whole time he was gathering all this information. And after about three shows, we kicked him out forever because he was just so weird. He lied about everything.

47:11 He kept promising us clothes and he showed up one day and he like pulled these clothes like out of a bag. He's like, here, this is my clothing line. This is all fresh stuff. And it had like tags from like stores. You could just tell he just ripped it off.

47:23 Adam This is a La Tigre. Come on, dude. Hey, what is it about coming up with your own clothes line that just sort of takes flaky people and just turns them into really felons? Like, I don't know what it is, but you show me a guy who's trying to get his own clothing line off the ground and I'm going to show you a guy I can't hang with. What is that? It's the sort of retarded entrepreneurial spirit. There's nothing worse. You know what I'm talking about?

47:51 Drew It's trying to get at the easy money. You know what I mean? It's entrepreneurial, but it's...

47:55 Adam Yeah, something happened.

47:57 Drew You're not starting a biotech company, okay?

47:59 Adam Yeah, something happened with clothing that everyone thought they could do it and everyone thought they had a cool idea for a t-shirt or some shorts and so everyone got into it. Jimmy's brother-in-law was starting a little clothing line many years ago and he had about a thousand t-shirts printed up and it was a t-shirt. It said, let's see, scars heal, losing doesn't. And I had to point out to him that one of the definitions of a scar doesn't go away. That's the difference between a cut and a scar is that it doesn't.

48:35 Drew It means wounds here.

48:37 Adam Let me show you. Let me show you. I got a smallpox vaccination in 1964. It's still clear as it was the day they did it.

48:44 Drew Don't heal.

48:45 Adam It's a scar. Yes, that's what I had to explain to him, but he already had a thousand units printed up.

48:50 Drew Oh, no, what'd he do?

48:53 Adam It was worth it for just Jimmy, because when I explained it to Jimmy, yeah, it was a good laugh. It was a good laugh. Later, we had him print up like a thousand man-show shirt, and he was able to make it up. But scars heal, losing doesn't, I thought. No, not really.

49:07 Drew Great English, too.

49:10 Adam The point is, you get the point, right? Don't lose. That's the point, all right?

49:16 All right.

49:17 Adam Let's talk to Tracy, who's 17. Tracy?

49:21 The Crystal Method Yes.

49:22 Adam Bisexual.

49:23 The Crystal Method Yeah. I have a question. Me and my boyfriend just now decided, because he has an ex-girlfriend, and we just now decided to invite his ex-girlfriend back into our relationship because we both like her. And I was just wondering if that's like any type of wrong.

49:42 Drew Is it any what kind of wrong?

49:43 The Crystal Method Like, is it wrong to do that, do you think?

49:45 Drew Any type of wrong. Any type of wrong. I see. In what sense wrong? What are you looking for?

49:50 The Crystal Method Like, do you think that it's like, do you think other people would not like accept the fact that we're doing this?

49:57 Drew I think other people will react to it. I think your relationship won't survive it, but I don't think it's going to survive anyway. I think whenever you have a threesome, it tends to create feelings in at least one of the people involved that they don't expect.

50:09 Adam This was your idea?

50:10 Drew This is his idea.

50:11 Adam I know. I just like the we part. Yeah.

50:14 Drew This is of course him, as soon as you mentioned that you were kind of attracted to him going into high gear with it.

50:18 Adam I mean, you know what the equivalent to this is? Like, we talk to this all the time where it's like, we, me and my boyfriend, we and the guy saying, yeah, me and my girl, the side that you know what the equivalent event is for the guy, the wedding, the wedding. We picked out these flowers. We settled on these color schemes. We, yeah, yeah.

50:37 Drew The only time I ever heard guys talk like that is we decide I need to stop doing heroin. That's when the we kicks in.

50:43 Adam That's when the we comes in, right?

50:44 Drew Yeah. That is the only time the guy uses it.

50:47 Adam Yeah. The only time the we means her is.

50:49 Drew Right. But he has to stop doing something.

50:51 Adam I'm excited that my drinking has gotten out of control. Yeah. That's where the we is.

50:57 Drew I can hear a guy say we.

50:58 Adam That's true. All right. Heroins and weddings. Heroin and weddings are where the we comes in, but not with the threesomes.

51:04 Drew No. That's him.

51:05 Yeah.

51:06 Adam Now, Tracy, have you been with a woman before?

51:10 The Crystal Method Yes, I have.

51:11 Adam Did you enjoy it?

51:13 Yeah.

51:14 Adam You did? What's up with poor Tracy? What's going on, baby doll? Where's your dad?

51:22 The Crystal Method In Pekin.

51:24 Adam Oh, he's out in Pekin?

51:25 The Crystal Method Yeah.

51:26 Adam She's cold this time of year out that way.

51:28 Drew How about Springfield? Huh?

51:31 Adam A few miles north of Springfield?

51:34 The Crystal Method Yeah, I think so.

51:35 Adam All right. Good. What's he doing out there?

51:39 The Crystal Method I think working construction.

51:41 Adam Oh, so you know he's a gem. Well, if you find out he's a roofer, we have to start calling him sir. I think you get knighted when you go up to a roof.

51:50 Drew Your Highness.

51:50 Adam Your Highness. Have you seen him in a while?

51:54 Last weekend.

51:55 Adam Oh, really?

51:56 Drew What kind of guy is he? What kind of guy is he, your dad? Um, lazy. Lazy, yeah.

52:07 What else?

52:07 Drew Give me some other words.

52:10 The Crystal Method He doesn't like to do anything unless he has to work. Like, he'll stay at home and won't do anything unless he actually has to.

52:17 Drew He'll lift a few beers, though, right?

52:19 No, he doesn't drink.

52:20 Adam Doesn't drink anymore. He stopped drinking?

52:23 I don't think he ever drank.

52:25 Drew All right.

52:26 Adam Did he live with your mom?

52:28 The Crystal Method No, they're divorced.

52:29 Adam Okay. All right.

52:30 Drew Did he do anything horrible to you growing up?

52:32 The Crystal Method Um, no.

52:34 Adam Okay. So you were never abused?

52:37 The Crystal Method Um, no.

52:42 Adam Really? Nothing?

52:45 How about your mom?

52:47 She's...

52:49 She got a boyfriend? Yeah.

52:51 Drew Have they ever done anything weird to you, the boyfriends?

52:53 The Crystal Method No.

52:55 Adam No. Okay. All right. I gotta put her on hold because the feedback's driving me nuts. Uh, here's the thing. Something's going on with Tracy. I can hear a little girl voice. Just a daddy who's in the trades is abuse enough. He seems sort of distant. She seems like she has a mentality of an 11-year-old. Um, this is gonna end in chaos. Don't get pregnant. That's the thing. And you're not gonna... The picture's not gonna become clear as you sample more varieties of sexuality. It's gonna get fuzzier. But if you're gonna do it, go ahead and do it. Do not get pregnant. And I don't want to see you in junior college.

53:30 Drew No.

53:31 Adam No.

53:31 Drew Don't waste your time.

53:32 Adam Yeah. And in military. That would be good. The Crystal Method is here tonight. Take a quick break. Be right back after this.

53:39 All right, guys.

53:40 Here's the deal.

53:41 You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

54:04 Adam Yeah, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Scott and Ken here tonight from The Crystal Method. Well, they are The Crystal Method. The Legion of Boom, name of the CD. We'll hear something else off of that.

54:19 Oh, my God.

54:21 Adam Worst night of my life last night.

54:22 Drew Oh, wow, what happened?

54:23 Adam No, uh, uh, power out when I got home.

54:26 Oh, boy.

54:27 Drew I just heard the Southern Conference Edison going on the radio and talking about how this, we're having another winter storm coming through Los Angeles area.

54:33 Adam How this time on a second. Here's the thing. If we're in winter and there's a storm coming through, you don't need the winter storm. No, I mean them.

54:39 Drew Yeah.

54:39 Adam Winter storm. Yeah. Yeah. I know where we are. So the summer storm, you know what?

54:43 Drew Because everywhere else in the country has storms all year round. We just have them only in the winter here, really.

54:47 Adam Whatever time we're in, if there's a storm, it's the time it is. That's what it is.

54:52 Drew In any event, they were gloating about how, well, you know, we had lots of problems last time, but we got it all ironed out.

54:58 Adam No, no, no, no, they did not. No, they did not. And first off, I cannot, I, I just, I live to go home and watch my TiVo. And, and I don't read, as you know, Drew.

55:11 Drew I know well.

55:11 Adam I believe it poisons the mind.

55:12 Drew He still hasn't read my book.

55:14 Adam Still. You say still like I'm gonna do it.

55:17 I know.

55:18 Drew You say, you told your wife you were gonna do it, or you're gonna have her read it to you.

55:20 Adam I was gonna have her read it to me if we ever did drive to Montana.

55:24 Drew We even drove to Northern California last week.

55:27 Adam I had to talk during that trip.

55:28 Do you have an audio version of it? An audio version of it?

55:30 Adam Yeah. How about it, Drew?

55:31 Drew It's a great idea.

55:32 Adam Get that.

55:34 Drew For the blind and Corolla.

55:36 Adam Just get it, have it come out on cassette, would you please?

55:38 Drew I'll just read it in myself.

55:39 Adam Please.

55:40 Drew For you. All right.

55:40 Adam The point is no power when I come home and I'm going out of my mind. Now, I have a generator, but the generator is hooked up and not hooked up. So by the light of the headlights of my car, I'm out there trying to fire that thing up at one in the morning with the five horsepower briggs and Strand. And I'm sort of gingerly trying to flip breakers to see if something goes on inside the house, a thousand trips in to see if the microwave light is blinking or not, back around again. I can't get the gate closed. The gate's an ingenious design, which is it's like an automatic, like an electric gate. But when the power goes out, it just comes open and it just stays open. And you can't get it closed. You can unlock it and close it. But then the motor starts running. It has a battery in it and it's like ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. I'm in there with a screwdriver, like a flashlight down on the hedge, undoing the front box, doing the electrical box, the gate trying to disengage the thing, just pulling plugs out. It's two in the morning, going insane. And I'm thinking, you know, and oh, I came back. I announced this is this night. Oh, let's put it this way. If you said you're going to do it tomorrow night or pay a thousand dollars, I would pay the thousand dollars in a heart beat. And this has happened like three times because where I live, the power goes out. There's some sort of problem. Here's all I'm saying. Fix it. Can we fix it? Because here's the thing. This neighborhood, it's like the high roller suite of these are taxpayers, boy.

57:13 Drew Where you live.

57:14 Adam Oh, yeah. People pay in taxes. I want something for my money.

57:18 Drew Listen, I was I was at the MGM Disney Studios in Florida yesterday and you have this Ride the Movies thing. When you get on the ride, there's a picture of the Hollywood Hill by the Hollywood sign and your houses are painted on to the damn wall.

57:29 Adam Really?

57:29 Drew Yes.

57:30 Adam I should sue them.

57:31 Drew It's your house.

57:32 Adam Are the lights off? Lights off, right?

57:34 Drew Come on.

57:35 Adam Yeah. No power. Just as much power on the pictures I had at home. And then my wife's like, you know, of course, there's like flashlights and bathrobes and it's freezing cold. And my wife says, well, you know, when's the power coming? I said, look, well, I know when the power is coming back on. She said, when? It's 5 a.m. Of course, it'll be on at 5 a.m. Here's when it'll go on. Here's when the power is coming on. It won't go on before 2 a.m. because I'm going to bed at 2 a.m. And I will not let me enjoy 10 seconds of Sports Center. So that's not going to happen. It's not going to come on at 8 a.m. when the sun's up. Like, it will kick on at 4.30 or 5 so that the TVs and the lights and the stereo and all the other junk will kick on in the middle of the night. It wouldn't make sense for it to come on at 8 in the morning. And it wouldn't make sense for it to come on at 1.30 at night. It'll come on if I came on at about 4.35. Perfect. Boom. Pow. And here's all I'm saying. What do I get? Where's my compensation? I need something. I wasted a goddamn night and it's been three. It's been three in like the last 10 days. All I'm saying is fine. You guys are screwing up. You're not putting the equipment, whatever. I need to be compensated. It's killing me. This guy could have killed. I should have killed myself last night.

58:49 Drew It scares me that you're going to kill somebody else.

58:50 Adam I am.

58:50 Drew You're going to go out some sort of rampage running on the street through your screwdriver.

58:53 Adam I'm going like a madman in his bathrobe with a Phillips head. I was going crazy last night. I'm trying to fire up the generator. It's true. You don't feel any of this. Imagine just 12 hours at a time, pow, 8 hours, 12 hours every other day, boom, all day. Awful. Naked.

59:17 It feels horrible.

59:19 Adam You realize how dependent you are on the TiVo's heroin, man. No TiVo. I got to get a crank hooked up to that thing or something. I was going insane.

59:28 Drew Not the water, not the heat, not the hot water.

59:29 No, TiVo.

59:30 We're TiVo from way back.

59:32 Adam Yeah.

59:33 Yeah. You got the new HD TiVo box?

59:35 Adam Yeah.

59:35 I got it.

59:36 Adam Yeah. I got that too. Oh, that day. No, my precious TiVo. I cried in a fetal position next to it last night.

59:45 You know, but you're honest. I'm like, as a generator with TiVo, you'd never be without TV because the satellite power is not going out. Do we set it?

59:52 Drew Oh, no.

59:52 I got it.

59:53 Drew So hook the generator just to the TiVo.

59:55 Adam No, I do. I do have the generator hooked to TiVo. That's a long story. And I actually did that thing where I just sitting there alone at two in the morning in a pitch black house. And I did that. I did that thing where I pointed at the TV and I went and how? Come on, baby.

1:00:12 Come on.

1:00:12 Adam Nothing.

1:00:13 Of course. All right.

1:00:14 Adam For God damn 30. Of course it went on at 430 because I actually wouldn't have wanted it. Like you said to me, is there a time when you don't want the power to come back on? I would have said, yeah, between four and six, probably. I really don't need it to come on at 5 a.m. and kick everything on. Yep. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Chad?

1:00:36 Yes.

1:00:37 Adam What's happening? You're 20?

1:00:39 Caller Yes, sir.

1:00:40 Adam What's going on?

1:00:42 Caller Well, my wife is-

1:00:46 Adam Let me tell you about karma too for all you pussies that believe in that. Drew, you dodged a bullet last night because we had Lincoln Park in here last night.

1:00:56 Drew We like those guys, right?

1:00:57 Adam Yeah. Well, we did. Yeah, we did like it. No, we like those guys and we had Uvastank in here and they're raising money for the tsunami.

1:01:05 Drew Yeah.

1:01:06 Adam Relief thing. Then Bruce started, well, Adam's literally a millionaire. Three grand I dropped on those guys.

1:01:14 Drew Nice.

1:01:15 Adam Yeah, nice. Come home to pitch black house. Huh? Karma?

1:01:20 Drew What?

1:01:20 Adam Should have gave five? Five. What do I get? My refrigerator running for five? What's it going to take to get some Tiva? Twenty grand? There's no God. I just-

1:01:30 Drew Well, not for them, the good side, but all those people at the victim of those tsunamis, they were all being punished by God.

1:01:35 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, I never thought about that. Yeah, it is an act of God.

1:01:38 Drew Yeah.

1:01:39 Adam It's true. Actually, we should think about that.

1:01:41 Drew There's all this news now coming out, the people at the religious groups have decided that-

1:01:45 Adam Oh, sure.

1:01:46 Drew Yeah. That this is the re-creation of the Flood.

1:01:48 Adam Oh, of course. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Yeah, but here's the thing, too.

1:01:52 Drew By the way, it should have happened in, like, Connecticut, if we're going to have it somewhere. You know what I mean? Florida.

1:01:57 Adam Let's say this, though. If you are one of these people that sort of buys the act of God, and even, I think insurance might call it an act of God, it's like almost sort of clinically or technically an act of God, a tsunami, then if this is in fact an act of God, maybe we shouldn't be helping out. Maybe we're tampering with his will.

1:02:17 Drew That's what Dante would say.

1:02:18 Adam He had an idea. He would try to do something.

1:02:20 Drew Justice.

1:02:21 Adam Yeah, he was sweeping the unrighteous out to sea or something, and we got in there with a life preserver and a sack of bisquick. Maybe we shouldn't. Think about it. I'll get that three back. I get that three back.

1:02:36 Drew I prefer to take the human point of view.

1:02:39 Adam No act of God?

1:02:39 Drew We'll help. Maybe act of God will help.

1:02:41 Adam You could be angering God.

1:02:42 Drew Yeah, that's where it goes.

1:02:44 Adam He was trying to do something and you got in there and meddled. Think about it, Drew.

1:02:48 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:02:48 Adam They call it an act of God. Jess?

1:02:52 Drew Therefore, I would be an act of God, too, by going in and helping out.

1:02:54 Adam Well, you can't. You're playing God, Drew. As a doctor, you play God. And you can't play God. I can't act God. You can't play God.

1:03:01 Drew I can act God.

1:03:02 Adam You could act God for like a mini series, but you couldn't play God like a normal life.

1:03:06 Drew I see.

1:03:10 Adam Oh, wait, was I speaking to, who was I speaking to before, Chad?

1:03:14 Caller Oh, okay.

1:03:15 Adam Chad, you're 20. What's up? Yeah.

1:03:18 Caller Well, my wife is eight months pregnant, and I'm having trouble getting into the mood for sex.

1:03:29 Drew You don't like what's happened to her body.

1:03:30 Caller And no, I love her to death. I mean, I married her, but...

1:03:35 Drew But you don't like what's happened to her body.

1:03:37 Adam It's always a bad sign when they go, I married her. Do you love your wife? I married her.

1:03:43 Drew Chad.

1:03:43 Adam It's like a mistake.

1:03:44 Drew Is it not the case that you're kind of unattracted to what's happened to her body?

1:03:49 Caller No, it's not that. It kind of makes you feel weird knowing that there's something inside there.

1:03:54 Adam Yeah.

1:03:55 Caller It just takes my mind off of the sex, and she got mad at me because I didn't want to have sex, and she thinks it's her, and it's not.

1:04:04 Drew Well, women, they can obviously feel vulnerable during times like this. Their bodies are changing a lot, and they feel very sexual oftentimes during that last trimester. So, Chad, how about just kind of give one up for the gipper?

1:04:15 Adam I can see being sort of psychologically weird knowing that the gardener's kid was inside of your wife, and you're having sex. Is it your kid, Chad?

1:04:26 Caller Yeah, it's my kid.

1:04:27 Adam All right. You have no gardener, do you, Chad?

1:04:30 Caller No, no gardener. I live in an apartment, no gardener.

1:04:34 Adam What's going on? I don't normally like guys named Chad raising kids.

1:04:39 Drew Why is that? 20 especially.

1:04:41 Adam Because it just doesn't work out. Grandpa Chad, Uncle Chad.

1:04:45 Drew Well, Uncle Chad works out, though.

1:04:47 Adam Uncle Chad, yeah. Actually, Uncle Chet. That sounds like a guy who's going to fill you up. What's going on? Are you making enough money to raise this kid?

1:04:56 Caller No, no, I'm not.

1:04:57 Adam Oh, that's great. What are you doing?

1:05:02 Caller Right now, what am I doing right now?

1:05:05 Adam Right this second. This very second. What are you doing? Because I'm working, brother. What are you doing?

1:05:10 Caller I do security.

1:05:12 Drew Oh, he is working.

1:05:12 Adam You do security. Are you working now?

1:05:15 Caller Yeah, I'm working right now.

1:05:16 Adam All right. And what do you get?

1:05:18 Drew By the way, let me take a beat here. First time that the response to the question, what are you doing?

1:05:24 Adam Well, right now, it actually was what you were doing.

1:05:26 Drew I'm actually mad right now.

1:05:28 Adam Chad, what do you get in an hour?

1:05:31 Caller I get $7 an hour. All right.

1:05:34 Adam Here's what you're going to need to do. You're going to need to get a raise. You know how to do that? You have to fake a stage robbery and then thwart it.

1:05:44 Caller All right?

1:05:44 Drew And then go in there and say, I've got a baby coming.

1:05:47 Adam Just say you got a baby coming and you need another 75 cents an hour.

1:05:50 Caller You got to.

1:05:51 Adam All right, buddy.

1:05:53 Caller I have one more. One more question. I get really mad when she starts talking about her ex-boyfriends and the guy she had sex with. They put a mental picture in my head.

1:06:05 Drew And I know you're really bad.

1:06:07 Adam Yeah. Well, OK, Chad, you're here. Let me let me say something to you. This is why you're not supposed to have kids and get married and check up and everything at 20, because you got energy. Emotionally, you have too much energy. You get a little older, you don't care.

1:06:23 Drew The testosterone levels are too high to withstand all that.

1:06:26 Adam Right. Here's here's the thing, Chad. You are married. You do have a child on the way. You have to act wiser than your years. All right. Now, she shouldn't taunt you with that stuff. And you should just tell her not to taunt you with it and to please not bring it up. Focus on the kid. Focus on being a dad. You don't have time to be immature to focus on these nonsensical things. All right.

1:06:51 Caller Got you. Thank you.

1:06:52 Adam All right, brother.

1:06:53 Drew They're not nonsensical to him, but they are not important compared to importance.

1:06:57 Adam Yeah, nonsensical. Not the right word. But what I meant is is you must you must prioritize that you can do. Look, if you're in your third year of college and your girlfriend was with your college was with your roommate or something like that, go ahead and do it. Get drunk and do whatever. If you're working and you're out of the house and you got a kid coming, all you do is focus on making more money. That's right. And making the place safe for the kid.

1:07:21 Drew And go ahead and double down on the on the wife a little bit. Come on. Yes. Let me let me reassure you, Chad, the baby is not aware of you're having sex with the mom.

1:07:30 Adam I don't know. I think I remember my dad. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure of a dent in my head. I'm pretty sure.

1:07:36 Drew It's a Corolla.

1:07:38 Adam No, I know. But I mean, I was suspicious about this sort of a dent I had in one day. I took my dad's penis and it fit in like a lock and key just snapped into it.

1:07:49 Drew That's yeah.

1:07:49 Adam Yeah. And I realized right then, wow, this is it.

1:07:53 Drew Did they have a post delivery, though?

1:07:55 Adam Same. It was actually during delivery.

1:07:57 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:07:57 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:07:59 Drew Yeah. What's why it's on the side of your head is squeeze it past your head.

1:08:02 Adam You had to slip past my dad to get to get there.

1:08:04 Drew Yeah.

1:08:05 Adam Yeah.

1:08:05 Drew All right.

1:08:06 Adam Look, if you look closely at my chin, you can see a sack groove. Oh, that's a good name for your next album. Sack groove, Groovy Sack, Crystal Methods, Sack Groove. No, Groovy Sacks. You're trying too hard now. Let them let them use their imagination.

1:08:21 Drew I think I think that could trigger a whole sort of sack groove.

1:08:25 Caller Yeah.

1:08:26 Adam Yeah.

1:08:26 Caller Groove on.

1:08:27 Adam Get your sack groove on. Get your best girl out on the dance floor and move your sack around. You know what I mean? Yeah. Lift your sack. Everyone hands up. Lifting the sack. Yeah, Drew.

1:08:39 Drew Crystal Methods into it.

1:08:40 Adam Yeah.

1:08:40 Caller I can see it.

1:08:41 Drew They're just there. I think it's a great idea.

1:08:42 Adam Jess?

1:08:43 Caller Yeah.

1:08:44 Drew Oh, Jess. Yeah.

1:08:45 Adam All right. When were you molested? Come on.

1:08:49 Drew Six, eight. Come on.

1:08:52 The Crystal Method I don't know.

1:08:54 Drew Give us the year.

1:08:55 Caller Come here and give me a hug.

1:08:56 Adam Yeah.

1:09:00 The Crystal Method I don't know.

1:09:01 Drew Well, give us an estimate then.

1:09:03 The Crystal Method I was like 10-ish.

1:09:05 Drew 10. Okay. I'll say eight because I hear an eight-year-old talking when I close my eyes.

1:09:11 Adam Now, her question has nothing to do with being molested, but one syllable out of jazz, and that's molestation.

1:09:16 Drew We hear that little girl voice. She's 23 years old. You have a 23-year-old on the line, and the moment she picks up the phone, it sounds like you're talking to a six-year-old.

1:09:25 Adam Yeah.

1:09:25 Drew Eight-year-old.

1:09:26 Adam We're long-time listeners. We know it.

1:09:29 Drew Did you hear it? Did you guys hear it when she started?

1:09:31 Adam Well, Ken got a boner. That's how you know.

1:09:32 Drew Well, that's the other one.

1:09:33 Adam That's another molestation.

1:09:36 Drew They're guys that are, you know.

1:09:37 Adam No, no. He's got, like, a divining rod between his legs.

1:09:40 Drew That happens.

1:09:41 Adam No, I know. No, that's how I knew. I felt it on my knee. Yeah. Oh, he's part of the two percent. He can get to himself, and does, and does. Chess? All right.

1:09:54 Drew So, so what's the question? Yes.

1:09:58 The Crystal Method Like, every time I have sex, like, I just can't get into it. Like, I just, I can't pay attention.

1:10:04 Drew All right. Well, because you probably are flashing back or, you know, the trauma when you're abused when you're a kid.

1:10:09 Adam Who molested you when you were a kid?

1:10:12 The Crystal Method My dad.

1:10:13 Drew Oh, your dad. Tough.

1:10:14 Adam Yeah. Where's he now? Is he in prison?

1:10:16 Caller No.

1:10:18 Drew He needs to be.

1:10:19 Adam Do you see him?

1:10:20 Caller Do I see him?

1:10:21 The Crystal Method Yeah, he's still mad at my mom.

1:10:22 Drew Oh, does your mom know he did this? Oh, Jess. Can you please get some help with this? It's a very difficult situation. You're living with the perpetrator. He just did it one time.

1:10:34 Adam Well, are they living? You're not living at home, are you?

1:10:36 Caller No, I don't live at home right now.

1:10:38 Drew All right, good.

1:10:39 Caller OK.

1:10:40 Adam Now what's going on? What are you doing? Cocktailing?

1:10:43 The Crystal Method No, I'm going back to school.

1:10:46 Adam Junior college?

1:10:47 The Crystal Method No, I have my BA.

1:10:49 Adam You do?

1:10:50 Caller You know what?

1:10:51 Adam Cocktailing.

1:10:52 Drew Politics.

1:10:53 Adam Politics.

1:10:54 Drew Political science?

1:10:55 Adam Political science.

1:10:57 The Crystal Method No, I went to a liberal arts school, so it was called politics. But I'm going back to get my teaching certificate right now.

1:11:05 Drew Where'd you go to school?

1:11:06 The Crystal Method In Idaho.

1:11:09 Adam Oh, yeah. Idaho is the state that's known for its liberal arts, Dr. Drew. I think most of the free thinking and new ideas come from Idaho because they got the white supremacists over there. Yeah. All right, Jess, how about a little therapy for the abuse you suffered at the hands of your horrible father?

1:11:31 Drew The reason you can't experience yourself sexually is that that was all robbed from you long ago.

1:11:36 The Crystal Method If you want to reconnect with all that, it's something you're going to need some help I had sex with my best friend a couple of weeks ago, and I really care about him and stuff, but it's just- Jess?

1:11:47 Drew Again, I feel like I'm not even talking when I talk to our listeners.

1:11:51 Adam Yeah, I'm not sure if they can hear you. I think this is an intercom we have.

1:11:55 Drew You and I talking?

1:11:56 The Crystal Method Yeah.

1:11:56 Adam I look at it that way. It's like what you have between the guy drives the limo and the kid's partying in the backseat. People outside of the limo don't hear you.

1:12:06 Drew Right. You and I, I'm the limousine driver and you're the kid in the back?

1:12:09 Adam Yeah.

1:12:10 Drew Then you yell out the window to people once in a while and that's how they get to hear.

1:12:13 Adam Yeah. That's how I do it. I hang out of the sunroof.

1:12:17 Drew Okay. Well, as long as they get to hear it somehow. So go ahead, tell her what I just said.

1:12:21 All right.

1:12:21 Caller Hold on.

1:12:22 Wait.

1:12:23 Caller I press the wrong one.

1:12:24 Adam I tell her, hey, you girls want to party? Is that what you said?

1:12:29 Drew No.

1:12:30 Adam That was an actual limo call. Jess.

1:12:33 Drew Yeah.

1:12:35 Adam You've got to, wait, I got a quick question. Your dad is where now? Is he in Reno where you are?

1:12:43 The Crystal Method He's like a couple of hours away.

1:12:46 Adam He's in Nevada?

1:12:49 Drew He did this to you one time?

1:12:53 The Crystal Method I don't know. Like a couple of times.

1:12:55 Drew How many years?

1:12:56 The Crystal Method I don't really know.

1:12:58 Drew Approximately how many years?

1:13:00 The Crystal Method I feel like four, five.

1:13:03 Adam Okay. What's your dad do? Is he a publicist?

1:13:08 The Crystal Method He's a geologist.

1:13:10 Adam Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Really?

1:13:14 The Crystal Method Yeah.

1:13:14 Caller Hold on a second.

1:13:17 Adam She went to liberal arts school in Idaho. He's a pedophile geologist in Nevada.

1:13:24 Caller Holy Christ.

1:13:25 Adam I don't like this guy, but I do admit he has range. I have to admire his range. Novel. I have to admire the cat's range. I'll give him that. I don't respect him. I don't like what he is, but I will say, guys in pit helmets and knee-high socks don't usually do the molesting. Yes? No. That's rangy. All right. So Jess, you're smart. You went to college. You're going back to get your teaching credential. Avail yourself of some of the services the college has. Get some...

1:13:57 Drew Student mental health services.

1:13:58 Adam Get some therapy.

1:13:59 Drew I'm going to reiterate what I said, which is you're going to have great difficulty experiencing yourself sexually. I dare say you will not.

1:14:05 Adam Drew says you're going to have a difficult time sexually.

1:14:08 Drew And if you do start experiencing yourself sexually, it will probably evoke a bunch of flashbacks, and you'll tend to be attracted to very abusive guys. Not a good situation if without some help.

1:14:19 Caller Okay. All right.

1:14:21 Adam Did you hear that?

1:14:22 Drew All right.

1:14:23 Adam So get some help, baby.

1:14:24 Drew What did you hear? I just had a curiosity.

1:14:27 The Crystal Method Huh?

1:14:27 Drew What did you hear me say?

1:14:29 The Crystal Method To get some help.

1:14:30 Adam At least you got that. All right. Give yourself some help, baby. It will make you a better teacher. It's true. Okay. All right.

1:14:37 Caller Geologist.

1:14:40 Adam What kind of geologist?

1:14:41 Caller I was just thinking, what is a shale? He must be like a shale or something. No, no, no.

1:14:46 Adam I'll tell you what would sort of make sense if you realized you work for some oil company.

1:14:51 Drew That's what I'm saying. He pulls oil out of shale and he's way out in the outskirts somewhere trying to find ways to pull more oil out of stone, basically. Ask her.

1:15:03 Caller She's going to know.

1:15:04 Adam Jess. Yeah? What kind of geologist is your father?

1:15:09 The Crystal Method He does gold mining.

1:15:10 Drew Gold mining?

1:15:11 Adam Uh-oh.

1:15:12 The Crystal Method He's a manager out there.

1:15:14 Drew Of a gold mine?

1:15:15 Caller A lot of mines in Nevada.

1:15:17 Adam Yeah. Oh, he's, okay. But he's more like a big beard with a donkey, right?

1:15:26 Drew And teeth and cane. They call him cookie?

1:15:31 Caller They call him cookie.

1:15:33 Adam All right.

1:15:34 Caller What's his name?

1:15:35 Caller He's gold in them hills.

1:15:36 Drew He doesn't look like ZZ Top?

1:15:37 Caller He's gold, I tell you. Gold.

1:15:40 Drew So you were visioning a gold, like a panoramic panning for gold.

1:15:43 Adam I'm picturing treasure of Sierra Madre. That's what I'm picturing. I tell you, boys, riches.

1:15:49 Drew Wait, let's start just tomorrow. Come on, just real quick. Is he really go to, did he go to? Jess?

1:15:53 The Crystal Method Yeah.

1:15:54 Drew Is he a trained geologist or he just calls himself a geologist?

1:15:57 The Crystal Method He has a master's.

1:15:58 Drew OK.

1:15:59 All right.

1:16:00 Drew Just very interesting.

1:16:01 Caller Do you have any brothers or sisters?

1:16:03 Uh-huh.

1:16:04 Caller Do you know if this happened to them?

1:16:06 The Crystal Method I don't really know. Like, my older brother is like 12 years older than me.

1:16:10 Drew Oftentimes, it's just the one. They pick one and...

1:16:12 Caller Really?

1:16:13 The Crystal Method I don't think so. Then I know like my younger brother and him are really close. So...

1:16:17 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:16:19 Adam It just, I know you hear about it so much. He's almost like a pedestrian. But imagine your dad coming at you sexually.

1:16:26 Drew Yeah.

1:16:26 Adam You know what I mean? And then you're living in the same house.

1:16:28 Drew Now you got that younger, younger sign.

1:16:30 Adam You're living under the same roof that he is.

1:16:32 Drew Very bad.

1:16:33 Adam And this is going on for a few years. And you can hear the wood floor creak and he's coming up the hall. And mom, oops, 1030.

1:16:40 Drew Forget your dad. Just think what your wife thinks when you approach her that way.

1:16:44 Adam Well, yeah.

1:16:45 Drew Yeah, it's bad enough.

1:16:46 Adam Yeah.

1:16:46 Drew You know what I'm saying?

1:16:48 Adam No.

1:16:48 Drew You're her husband.

1:16:49 Adam What are you talking about, you asshole?

1:16:50 Drew I'm just saying, think what women have to put up with. I'm just saying that even in the normal situation, women are stuck.

1:16:57 Adam Are you not attracted to me anymore? Is that what you're saying? I put a couple pounds on. That's no big deal. I've worked that right off. That's just a little holiday.

1:17:05 Drew A little holiday weight.

1:17:07 Adam That's all right. I don't have to get into a two-piece for another six months. Drew's not attracted to me anymore. All right, everybody. Let's take ourselves a little break, The Crystal Method, in tonight. We'll hear something else off their Legion of Boomer CD, and we'll talk to more of yous after this.

1:17:27 Caller If you need help, call Loveline, 1800-LOVE-191.

1:17:41 Adam Yeah. Get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on. Freak out, get it on. It's The Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Ken and Scott are here tonight from The Crystal Method. Dear, dear, dear, dear friends.

1:18:00 Drew We've known you guys for like 10 years, 12 years, something crazy like that.

1:18:03 Adam Long time. Yeah. No, it's not 12 years.

1:18:07 Caller Since 1997, some 97, 96.

1:18:10 Adam When did, let's see, is it vague?

1:18:12 Caller Almost nine years.

1:18:13 Adam Yeah, 93, right? You guys formed in 93?

1:18:16 Caller 97 was the first album.

1:18:18 Adam 97. At least from then, right? I like legible. That's Clive. Clive Barker, yeah. What happened to Clive?

1:18:28 Caller I haven't seen him in a while.

1:18:29 Adam Yeah. All right. Known him since the sixth grade, right Drew?

1:18:35 Caller Oh yeah.

1:18:35 Adam All right. We will hear something from the Crystal Method. First, we're going to take a call. Sherman and Alex taking ecstasy.

1:18:43 Caller Pregnant, broke up with dad. Here, here, here, here. With a guy. Here, here, here.

1:18:46 Yeah.

1:18:46 Caller All right.

1:18:47 Adam Let's talk to JT. JT?

1:18:49 Caller Hey, guys.

1:18:50 What's up?

1:18:51 Hey, just want to say I really appreciate you guys' show. It's par excellence.

1:18:57 Adam Thank you.

1:18:58 Hey.

1:19:01 Adam Nothing wrong with that.

1:19:03 I actually got a song I wrote for the beautiful Amarak, which is Ace's Mexican Ranchero according to Countdown.

1:19:12 Adam Wow. An acronym out of it.

1:19:14 So I was wondering if I could bless you with song.

1:19:17 Adam Well, first off, we should explain that Ace's Mexican Ranchero according to Countdown is a game we like to play on the show.

1:19:23 Drew We should play just one round.

1:19:25 Adam Then we'll hear the theme song.

1:19:26 Drew Then we'll hear the theme song. All right.

1:19:28 Adam So as you know, as I've learned from working on many construction site, the accordion is the cornerstone to the Ranchero music that my Latin brethren like to blare very early in the morning.

1:19:39 Drew A classic musical form Adam likes to call Ranchero music.

1:19:42 Adam Ranchero music, yes. And we've, it is so ubiquitous, the accordion that you rarely hear two seconds go by without some accordion music playing. And we take a random Ranchero song and we cue it up to somewhere in the middle. And then engineer Michelle hits the button and we guess, how long before you hear that accordion coming in? You could go never. There's, there's some that don't have it. I'll start immediately.

1:20:11 Drew I'll start the bedding. Two seconds.

1:20:12 Adam Two seconds.

1:20:13 Drew Two seconds.

1:20:14 Adam All right. Scott, I'll go Scott.

1:20:17 Drew Six, six seconds.

1:20:18 Adam Six seconds. I'll write this down, Scott. So Drew's got two. All right. Ken?

1:20:25 Caller I'm going to have to go eight.

1:20:27 Adam Eight seconds. An eternity in the life of a ranchero accordion player.

1:20:31 Caller This is not going to start.

1:20:33 Drew Not at the beginning of the song. During, in the middle of the song.

1:20:34 Adam In the middle of the song.

1:20:36 Caller But will they be accordion right there?

1:20:38 Drew We don't know. It's random or better.

1:20:39 Caller I'm saying instantly.

1:20:40 Drew Instantly. That's a good bet. Instantly.

1:20:42 Adam He wants to know where the accordion's going to be. So when he goes to Vegas, he's like, what color is that ball going to land on after the wheel's done spinning around? Oh, you're not going to say. All right. Well, I'll take both colors. Yeah, it's gambling, Ken. You're going immediately. All right. Now, oh, man, I was going to go long. Now I'm going to two and four. I'm going to go five seconds. All right. All right. Now, so we have five, six, two and immediately with Ken.

1:21:13 Caller All right.

1:21:14 Adam You're ready there?

1:21:14 Caller Six, five, four, three, two, one.

1:21:20 Adam Go. Let's go. I think that's Rhythm Accordion.

1:21:51 Drew That doesn't count. Do it again.

1:21:54 Adam We're hearing that in here.

1:21:55 Drew That's Rhythm Accordion.

1:21:56 Caller All right, I'll do another one. I think it was at the beginning.

1:21:58 Drew It's got to be lead accordion.

1:21:59 Adam Yeah, it's got to be.

1:22:00 Caller Maybe it's like a trumpet first or something.

1:22:02 Drew Yeah, that's right.

1:22:03 Caller And then, but that was...

1:22:05 Adam We're looking for the Jimmy Page of accordion players, not the Joan Baez. You know what I mean? I want some light strumming in the background.

1:22:13 Drew All right, let's try that.

1:22:14 Adam All right.

1:22:15 Drew Six, five. That's where it started. The middle of the song.

1:22:18 Adam Wait, wait, wait.

1:22:19 Drew She's giving us the beginning of the songs. That's why that was screwed up.

1:22:21 Adam All right, baby. The middle is right in the description of Ace's Mexican Ranchero Accordion Countdown. That was the beginning of the song.

1:22:27 Caller I didn't have it queued up because I had The Crystal Method song in there.

1:22:30 Adam Well, forget about Crystal Method. We're listening to Ranchero music, sweet cheeks.

1:22:34 Drew We're talking about Grammy nominated Ranchero music.

1:22:38 Adam Yeah.

1:22:39 Drew All right.

1:22:39 Adam Are you good? You feel good?

1:22:40 Drew All right.

1:22:41 Adam Where are we, Drew? Now we got to get to a hole.

1:22:43 Caller Three, two, one.

1:22:44 Adam No, no, no, no, no. We got to, I won't be able to add that.

1:22:47 Caller Three, two, one. Go.

1:22:54 Drew That's it in the background again.

1:22:55 Adam It's more rhythm. There it is.

1:22:59 Drew Seven seconds.

1:23:02 Adam Seven seconds.

1:23:04 Caller You were going to go with seven initially.

1:23:06 Adam No, no, no. I wasn't. I went with five. Scott won that.

1:23:09 Drew I swear there's three accordions in this song.

1:23:11 Adam It sounds like there's a million in every right show. So that's the beauty of the music. Yeah.

1:23:17 Drew I still think I won. I think so, too. I think there are two different accordions in this one.

1:23:23 Adam Well, we need a rubber match now. One more, one more. We've never had this kind of controversy.

1:23:28 Caller I know.

1:23:29 Adam But these are professional musicians. Of course.

1:23:31 Drew There are many things we can't hear.

1:23:32 Adam And they have a competitive nature that we don't have in radio.

1:23:36 Caller You're right.

1:23:37 Drew We just like to roll over. Yeah.

1:23:39 Adam Yeah.

1:23:40 Drew All right.

1:23:40 Adam So are we sticking by our bets?

1:23:42 Drew Yes. All right.

1:23:43 Adam So we have we have I have five seconds. Scott has six. Drew has two. And Ken has a media. All right. And again, it's not it's really it has to be pronounced.

1:23:56 Drew You have to be able to hear the accordion.

1:23:58 Caller Identifiable.

1:23:59 Adam Identifiable. All right. We're going to roll it when we get to the top here. All right, Drew.

1:24:03 Drew Top the top of the minute there.

1:24:05 Adam Yes. Six or five, four, three, two, one, go.

1:24:15 Drew Is that an accordion?

1:24:20 Adam How do they outdo themselves on the annoying meter? Each and every song more annoying than the last.

1:24:27 Drew It's like, Ken's got it.

1:24:29 Adam I'm unsatisfying, though.

1:24:31 Drew I know. It wasn't this rhythm. Didn't have the nice umpah quality. The German accordion quality that we're used to hearing.

1:24:38 Adam Let the baby have his bottle. He's got his bottle.

1:24:41 Drew Let's hear our theme song.

1:24:44 Adam Oh, I see.

1:24:45 Caller All right.

1:24:46 Adam Let's speak to JT.

1:24:47 Caller JT?

1:24:48 Drew Yeah.

1:24:48 Hey, man, this is going to be like a pseudo-Aldo Nova tribute. And it's probably going to be in that last song.

1:24:54 Caller That is just a fantasy.

1:24:55 Caller Yeah.

1:24:56 Adam All right.

1:24:57 All right. Three, two, and one. I've never been blinded by the blues. I've never been blinded by jazz. But when I hear that accordion, the seconds just click too fast to be racking. I said that because you can't rock. We can't rock. But I am racking to Ace's Mexican Ranchero accordion. Yeah.

1:25:26 Adam 41 JT is. Yeah, that's solid, buddy.

1:25:30 You know, we're just a cut from the same cloth, I think.

1:25:34 Adam Yeah.

1:25:36 All right, so I'm about to hear beat it, so I appreciate it, guys.

1:25:39 Adam No, thanks for the effort there, buddy.

1:25:41 Drew Well done.

1:25:42 Adam We appreciate that.

1:25:43 All right, guys. Have a good night.

1:25:45 Adam All right. Have a good new year. God love you. I want more. One more round. One more round.

1:25:50 Drew You can hear The Crystal Method song here, too.

1:25:52 Adam That was The Crystal Method. They just sampled a lot of Ranchero on the last sound.

1:25:57 Caller Well, they will Ranchero remix.

1:25:59 Adam Yeah.

1:25:59 Drew There's going to be a Love Line tribute with Ranchero music.

1:26:02 Adam Well, let me see.

1:26:02 Drew All these tacos and Ranchero.

1:26:05 Adam Dance and electronic music and Ranchero. They're really from the same place. Oh, yeah. You know, when people go like, well, I listen to all kinds of music, you know, blues, jazz, hardcore rap. They never mention Ranchero. They don't mean Ranchero, do they? Do they?

1:26:22 Drew All kinds of music, Adam. All kinds. How dare you?

1:26:26 Adam All right. All right. One more song. And then I'll go for eight seconds. All right. What are you going for? I'm sorry. I got to write this down.

1:26:32 Drew I'll go eight.

1:26:32 Adam True. Eight.

1:26:34 Drew I'm tired of this.

1:26:35 Adam OK. All right. All right. Scott, what do you got?

1:26:39 Drew Three.

1:26:39 Adam Three. Smart. Ken?

1:26:42 Caller All right. I'm going for four.

1:26:45 Caller All right.

1:26:47 Adam I'm going to media. All right. All right. You ready? All right. One, three, two, one, go.

1:27:00 Caller Yeah.

1:27:02 Adam Listen to it in Weep. And I don't mean because you lost. I just mean Weep. It's that bad.

1:27:14 Caller So the term ranchero, that's your own genre that you know.

1:27:18 Adam An engineer's engineer's Michelle does a little place, occasional wedding, does a little little DJing.

1:27:25 Drew I believe this is her people's music.

1:27:27 Adam This is her people's music. And this is so we have your people to blame for this. And this is out of her private stock. And she says it's ranchero. And I hear this blaring every day at my house because there's work going on.

1:27:40 Drew Well, explain to me what happens to him when you walk into your garage every morning.

1:27:44 Adam I need to hear the one with the flute in it to really, what was the one, what was the one right before this?

1:27:48 Drew Adam's got construction going on at his house for the last, almost, how long has it been?

1:27:51 Adam Two years.

1:27:52 Drew Almost two years.

1:27:52 Adam Two years now.

1:27:53 Drew He's got a crew that's there every morning.

1:27:55 Adam I'm going to set the scene. The elect, I came home the night before the power was out. I spent 45 minutes in my bathrobe in 40 degree weather trying to get a briggs and Stratton motor fired up to no avail and then spend the next hour on my knees with a flashlight in my ass trying to dismantle the gate so the motor wouldn't burn out. I went to bed at 2.30 in the morning. The power then kicked on at 5 a.m. I got up again and then woke up again for the last time about 8.45 in the morning to now walk down the stairs and into the garage and this is what I hear as I stumble into the garage. And then it goes something like this. Ozzy, Ozzy, we talked about putting the scratch coat and the stucco on before the brown coat. The brown coat is not going to stick to the... Yeah, that's how it goes. That's how it works. Yeah, that was Waldo. That's how it works.

1:29:02 Caller How's your friend's wife?

1:29:03 Drew Had her matrice out.

1:29:06 Adam Somebody had like, yeah, one of my crew guys, the wife had a hysterectomy or something. I don't know what it was. He was dressed up. That's always a bad sign when a guy shows up in loafers. That means trouble. Somebody's sick. But she's okay now, right, Drew? I was asking. Drew was standing next to me while he was explaining what happened to his wife, but in Spanish. We figured it out, right? Hysterectomy?

1:29:28 Caller All right.

1:29:30 Adam She's on her feet now, right?

1:29:32 Drew I bet. I hope. Yeah.

1:29:34 Adam You have 26 kids, it'll screw you up in there sometimes. We'll take, don't laugh at them. That's horrible racist humor. Let's take a little break. The Crystal Method is here tonight. We'll hear something else off the Legion of Boom CD, and we'll be right back after this. Loveline. Amanda, that's Dr. Drew, Scott and Ken here tonight from The Crystal Method. Yes, Drew.

1:30:15 Drew You just been screwing around so much, Adam. Let's get to The Crystal Method song right now.

1:30:19 Adam No.

1:30:19 Drew Come on.

1:30:20 Adam No.

1:30:21 Drew It's not gonna happen.

1:30:21 Adam We just heard the Ranchero offerings. We heard like six of the Ranchero songs. I only liked three of them, actually. I gotta be honest with you. Now, we gotta talk to Alex, and then we take, and then we play a song.

1:30:34 Drew How about Ashley then?

1:30:35 Adam Ashley?

1:30:36 Caller All right. Ashley?

1:30:38 Hello?

1:30:39 Adam You're 19?

1:30:40 Caller Yeah.

1:30:41 Adam You had sex with your boyfriend and...

1:30:44 Caller He's not my boyfriend. He's just some guy I've been dating.

1:30:46 Drew How dare you, Adam?

1:30:47 Adam Sorry, sweetie pea. I didn't know you were a slut.

1:30:50 Caller No, no, no. It's not like that.

1:30:52 Adam Oh, yes.

1:30:53 Caller He doesn't want a relationship.

1:30:55 Adam Oh.

1:30:56 Drew So he would be your more than a boyfriend.

1:30:58 Caller He would be my boyfriend. He just doesn't want a relationship.

1:31:00 Drew Well, why did you put up with that guy's crap?

1:31:03 Caller I haven't been with someone in a while. I had a really bad breakup about a year and a half ago.

1:31:09 Drew Fair enough.

1:31:10 Caller You know what I mean?

1:31:11 Adam Yeah, fair enough. By the way, you having consistent sex with somebody and saying, I'm just not ready for a relationship, you're on top of the person, dropping a little seed into him.

1:31:23 Drew The guy.

1:31:23 Adam Yeah, the guy. You're having a relationship. You don't want one. You don't like this person that much.

1:31:28 Drew That way.

1:31:29 Adam Yeah, you want something that feels good, but it's not like you're not ready for, you just can't handle or anything. Is it getting on three times a week?

1:31:38 Drew All right.

1:31:38 Adam So.

1:31:39 Drew That's what happened.

1:31:41 Caller What happened was like in the beginning, I haven't had sex in a year since him. So when we first got together, I hadn't fooled around in a long time. And I gave him a head and his come was orange.

1:31:57 Caller Orange.

1:31:59 Caller And he blamed it. I confronted him about it. And he blamed it about the jelly beans they'd been eating earlier. No. And I just kind of bought it and was like, OK, OK, whatever. It was stupid of me. And then later we had more sex.

1:32:13 Adam Jelly beans.

1:32:15 Caller Yeah, jelly beans. And then about three weeks ago, I started getting these rashes. There are these like, they look like kind of open sores. And they're red.

1:32:27 Adam And those are candy apples.

1:32:29 Drew Are they?

1:32:30 Adam You got to blame that on the candy apple.

1:32:31 Drew Are they on the genital, like on the lips?

1:32:33 Caller Yeah, they're on my, they're on like my genital area, but they're also like on my back, like, and then like in my back.

1:32:40 Drew Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Like on your buttock?

1:32:43 Caller Yeah.

1:32:45 Drew Oh, my.

1:32:46 Caller So I don't know if it's just a genital thing or if it's just a genus. That might not even be related to him.

1:32:51 Drew And they hurt?

1:32:52 Caller Um, they itch.

1:32:53 Adam Hmm.

1:32:54 Drew Could be herpes. Could be herpes. You got to have somebody look at it. It's extremely important, Ashley, that a doctor look at it while you have the outbreak, okay? There's also something called lymphogranuloma venerum that kind of can look like that.

1:33:06 Adam Do you have an outbreak now?

1:33:09 Caller They're still there.

1:33:11 Drew All right.

1:33:11 Caller They haven't really left.

1:33:13 Adam Get to a clinic or somebody. Somebody can take a look at it and see what, make a diagnosis before they leave.

1:33:19 Drew Maybe nothing. There's a lot of different things that can look like this. But Ashley, the deal is the orange comb probably doesn't have anything to do with the jelly beans. It certainly doesn't have anything to do with the jelly beans.

1:33:28 Adam Well, Mike and Ikes.

1:33:30 Drew Probably doesn't have anything to do with the red hots.

1:33:32 Adam Good and play.

1:33:33 Drew It probably doesn't have anything to do with what you're experiencing. But it does mean he had blood in his semen.

1:33:37 Caller Is it normal?

1:33:38 Drew No, it's usually blood in the semen that caused the orange or the brown.

1:33:42 Adam Yeah.

1:33:42 Drew And blood in the semen usually also frankly doesn't mean anything, but guys need to get that checked out just to be sure.

1:33:49 Adam All right, Ashley. Come on. You don't forget this guy. He doesn't love you.

1:33:53 The Crystal Method I know, dude.

1:33:54 Caller I don't know.

1:33:55 Adam Well, stop doing stuff you don't want to do.

1:33:57 Caller He broke up with me yesterday, that's what I mean.

1:34:00 Adam He broke it off with you?

1:34:01 Caller Yeah.

1:34:02 Adam You got clingy.

1:34:03 Caller He said he wanted to take the physical part out of the relationship.

1:34:06 Drew Oh, sure he did.

1:34:07 Caller I don't understand what this means.

1:34:09 Drew Yeah, that means he wants to get away.

1:34:11 Caller Yeah, basically, so it's his life.

1:34:12 Adam All right, baby. That's all right.

1:34:14 Drew You didn't get pregnant.

1:34:15 Adam You're fine. Don't get pregnant. Get out of Riverside. Yeah. All right, yeah. Goals to get out of there before summer.

1:34:24 Drew Oh, I felt bad for her, Ashley.

1:34:26 Adam I did too. Get out of that crappy Riverside. Give yourself a guy who loves you. Yeah? Yeah. All right. Let's hear...

1:34:31 Drew We're going to go back as we love.

1:34:33 Adam Yeah. Crystal Method, everybody. We need to hear Crystal Method's song. Nay, we would love to hear Crystal Method's song. This is... I got the first song.

1:34:43 Caller Where's the second song we're playing?

1:34:45 Caller It's called Bound Too Long.

1:34:48 Adam This is the taco song.

1:34:49 Drew Bound Too Long.

1:34:51 Adam What's it called?

1:34:52 Drew Bound Too Long.

1:34:53 Adam Bound Too Long from Legion of Boom. Crystal Method, everybody. Here, here. Next in food, bringing friends. The Crystal Method, nominated for a Grammy.

1:38:41 Caller We found out there's a new porno that just came out called The Crystal Method.

1:38:46 Adam Oh, really?

1:38:46 Caller It's Jenna Jameson and she'll probably be in here promoting it.

1:38:50 Caller So we're going to name Crystal with a K.

1:38:52 Adam Oh, I see. But a tip of the hat to the band.

1:38:55 Caller Yeah, nice. A friend of ours was in Times Square and I guess Jenna Jameson has a big billboard down there and it was coming soon, you know, The Crystal Method.

1:39:05 Adam Really? And they spelled Crystal with a K.

1:39:11 Caller Yeah, Crystal with a K.

1:39:12 Adam Wow. But cool, right? I mean, definitely. It's hilarious. Yeah, it makes everyone who's heard of you think of you. And those who haven't confused. Let's take a break, Drew. Let's go. OK, thanks, buddy. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I know you're working over there. We'll be, we relax. If I relax, the show stops. Better hope I don't relax, buddy boy. Tell you that right now, mister. Got some news for you. You told me. OK. All right. All right, man. I said good day. Good day. How dare you? I love that that was the greatest insult you could do to someone. I said good day.

1:39:52 Drew I said good day, sir.

1:39:53 Adam Now it's MFer and that's great.

1:39:56 Caller Yeah.

1:39:56 Adam All right.

1:39:57 Caller We'll take a break.

1:39:57 Adam We'll be right back. Yeah, The Crystal Method, everyone. God bless The Crystal Method. Scott, Ken, always a delight.

1:40:37 Caller Thank you for having us.

1:40:38 Caller Always good to be here.

1:40:39 Adam Always great to taste, I mean, to see you guys.

1:40:43 Drew They're good at the Rich Harrow countdown, too.

1:40:45 Adam They're maybe a little too good. They may not be asked back. All right. I want to thank engineers, Michelle for doing a great job, engineer Chris for doing a great job, of course, engineer Anderson for making it all happen. Wait, whose phone is screening this week? Who? Who do I give it? Not ziggy, right? Corey. Corey.

1:41:06 Drew Excellent job.

1:41:07 Adam A notable excellent job from Corey. And of course, producer Anne. Of course, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, producer Lauren for doing a great job all week. So until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:41:23 Caller Never been blinded by the blues,

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Thursday, January 6, 2005