Episode 1000669611784

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Sexually oriented content.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:14 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:18 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800- oh, forget about that. It's the best of Loveline, Drew.

1:28 Drew The best of the best.

1:29 Adam It's the best of the best of the best of the best of Loveline.

1:31 Drew Well, no, and the introduce for Ann really kicked my ass tonight. She goes, these are the best. We're going all the way back to the very, very best. So here we go.

1:39 Adam Dr. Drew, board certified physician. Still, I'm guessing unless your board's come up sometime between now and then.

1:46 Drew No, no, no. All right.

1:47 Adam So tonight, who do we have on the show? Jenna Jameson. Dear, dear, dear friend. Dax Shepard and Seth Green from Up the River, in the river, up the river without a paddle.

1:57 Drew There you go.

1:57 Adam Dear, dear friends. Huba Stank.

1:59 Drew Nice.

1:59 Adam In studio tonight. Also, the offspring.

2:02 Drew We blew off.

2:03 Adam I got a call on Dexter.

2:04 Drew He was in town, asked you to go fly.

2:06 Adam All right, buddy. Black Eyed Peas with Fergie and Taboo. I think they're Fergie, a little nutty. I think they got some Grammy nominations or something. I don't know. They're doing good. And of course, the nutty but lovable Macy Gray. So, let's start the show with Jenna Jameson. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Jenna Jameson in the studio tonight. Dear, dear friend, Jenna Jameson. The book is called How to Make Love Like a Porn Star. It is number nine on the New York Times Best Seller List, and it is a substantial piece of work. Almost 600 pages.

2:50 Best Of I like that. Substantial.

2:52 Adam It is. Substantial is a good word because it suggests that it's a powerful book and you could hurt somebody if you hit them with it.

3:00 Best Of It's like a brick.

3:01 Adam Yeah, it is. It's a block of book. Drew.

3:04 Drew I have a question. The guy that helped you write this.

3:07 Best Of Yeah, Neil Strauss.

3:08 Drew Says he wrote one of the best-selling adult films of all time.

3:12 Best Of Yes, he did.

3:13 Drew Which one?

3:13 Best Of Bella Loves Jenna.

3:15 Adam Wow.

3:17 Drew I'm just.

3:18 Best Of That's an amazing writer.

3:20 Drew I thought you were going to say Taboo or something, and Adam would just go ahead and be like.

3:23 Best Of Which is one of the best-selling of the year.

3:27 Adam Yeah. And who knew that Bela Gozzi would make a movie that late in his career? No, you didn't. He was in his late 80s when he shot the film.

3:36 He didn't go there.

3:37 Best Of You know.

3:39 Adam Bella. I don't know if I've seen Bela Loves Jenna. Bela Loves Jenna. What year did that come out?

3:46 Best Of This year.

3:47 Adam Oh, and it's one of the best-selling ones of all time?

3:50 Best Of Of all time.

3:52 Adam Wow. I didn't know that could. I don't know why.

3:54 Drew That fast, yeah.

3:55 Adam Yeah. I thought these things had to accumulate over the course of, you know, 40 years or something.

4:00 Best Of Before.

4:01 Adam Is DVB-

4:01 Best Of Times have changed. Everybody buys them now.

4:04 Adam Yeah. So DV. Well, yeah, people used to rent them. And by the way, you know, it's, you know how we were look back on that guy sitting in a theater, sitting in a pussy cat theater. And like, imagine one day when I'm going to have to explain to your kids that yes, hundreds of men would gather in one theater and all watch communally three, four films in a row. They're going to be like, Uncle Adam, I don't understand. Did they have it? No. Oh, no. There was no Internet, my friend. How's that possible? We would have to lock arms. At least that's the way your Uncle Adam did it. And we would all sit in a crowded theater. And not watch one 60-minute film. Much like nine. I mean, you sit there for about seven hours.

4:45 Best Of I don't think you're supposed to lock arms, though, Adam.

4:47 Drew Just the way Adam did it.

4:50 Adam That's the way the Corollas did it, and will continue to do it. Because we're rich with traditions. But, okay, so the point is, so then you go from that, so that sounds bizarre now. Like telling, you're sitting with a bunch of dudes. What are you supposed to do? Well, you log it all, you get about nine hours in your brain, and then you hustle home, and you beat yourself to a pulp, you know? And it's like, okay, but now, we were talking about this when people were renting porn, and the idea of renting porn now sounds bizarre.

5:21 Drew How about, hey kids, you remember that, that television star, Pee Wee Herman, you used to like when you were a kid? Well, he went to one of these theaters.

5:27 Adam We locked arms. Exactly.

5:29 Drew I mean, think how weird that's gonna be for us.

5:30 Adam He was on my right side. And so, so now-

5:34 Drew He didn't wait till he went home.

5:35 Adam They don't really rent movies anymore, do they?

5:37 Best Of No, not really. Do people rent movies? Everybody buys them.

5:40 Adam Because, I mean, you could literally go to a truck stop and get one for $6. Do you need to rent?

5:46 Best Of You know why I think that is? Is because I think more and more women are comfortable seeing porn.

5:53 Adam Oh, we don't have to hide it.

5:54 Best Of Yeah, so guys don't have to hide it in the locker.

5:57 Adam And who the hell wants to- You know, if you think about, all right, the movie costs three, four bucks to rent, but getting in your car, trucking it down to the thing, getting the humiliation running, running in so many went to high school with. I ran a movie called Porn Bloopers once, because it's like, well, I like to beat off and I got a sense of humor. This is like, this is tailor-made for me. You know what I mean? These were my two things, right? These are my two things.

6:22 Drew Adam Carolla story.

6:23 Adam And Porn Bloopers. I rented Porn Bloopers, which was a disaster. And I was returning it, except I realized, oh, I have no cash. So I had to go out the car and fish through the change, you know, the ashtray thing and get like four bucks worth of quarters and nickels. And then the person behind the counter, someone I went to high school with, a chick. This guy's returning Bobby Hollander's Porn Bloopers and he's paying in nickels. Corolla gets followed up hard times.

6:50 Best Of That's pretty bad.

6:51 Adam Yeah.

6:52 Best Of That's pretty bad.

6:52 Adam Boy, you captained the football team last time I saw you. What happened? Sad. Normally, she would be embarrassed because she's working at a video store. But no, not when the guy returns Porn Bloopers. You got any blooper reels, Jenna?

7:10 Best Of Well, that's the cool thing about DVDs nowadays.

7:12 Adam Oh, yeah.

7:12 Best Of You get all the extras. So there's always a bloopers reel.

7:16 Adam Yeah. I know because I got Jenna's movie. What's the Firehouse movie?

7:22 Best Of Flashpoint.

7:22 Adam Flashpoint. Yeah.

7:25 Best Of I can't believe I can remember these things.

7:27 Adam Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah. It's got the behind the scenes, got the director narrates, a little picture of the craft service table. It's all there. It's all there. Let me say this too about porn on the DVD format. You know where you're going. You know what I mean? Otherwise, you're fast forwarding. You can either scan through it, but it goes too slow, so you stop it and you go forward, but then you think you missed something, so you stop and go back.

7:54 Best Of Well, the cool thing about my movies now, I put a fetish menu, so you can pick out what you like the very best about porn, and it jumps to those exact scenes.

8:10 Adam Really? You mean in the DVD?

8:12 Best Of So you're nipple licking, boom.

8:14 Adam But that's my own nipple, so.

8:16 Best Of Well, you can fantasize.

8:17 Adam She's working on that.

8:17 Drew She's working on that. She's working on that.

8:19 Best Of Yeah, sooner or later, I'll be able to do that.

8:21 Adam I don't want to be confused with me giving pleasure to others. That's not what it's about. Drew, explain to Jenna that nobody receives oral like me.

8:29 Drew Oh, would you like to see this? It's really, you may be giving up some secrets that could show up in a film.

8:34 Adam Exactly. Well, what I want to say to Jenna is a lot of people talk about their prowess satisfying others. A lot of guys brag that they can bring a woman to climax or give her great oral sex or whatever.

8:46 Drew Carolla.

8:46 Adam Not me, not me. But I'll tell you what I do do better than any guy in North America is I receive oral better. Do you know what I'm saying?

8:55 Best Of And to me, that's a talent.

8:59 Adam I'll tell you why, I'll tell you what.

9:00 Drew Adam, don't you go too far. Don't you better let it go.

9:03 Adam Well, no, I want to get defensive about it. What I'm saying is-

9:05 Drew Are you going to show her?

9:06 Adam I will, I will, yeah.

9:07 Drew I want to see. Are you sure? I will. Later, later. All right.

9:11 Adam But the point is a lot of guys, it's like you watch the Olympic sports. Everyone wants to win in the swimming and the track and field things. But the smart guys over collecting his medals in archery and ping pong and stuff. He goes where there's not much competition. You don't have to take on any brother that can squat 800 pounds, just a couple of nerds and you take home the gold and you got a gold medal. That's what I did with receiving oral. That's nice. I'm not even getting the line to the guys who claim they can go all night and bring a woman to the height of climax. I receive better than anybody and there's nobody who can take my, who can make lay claim to my throne, Drew. Do you understand?

9:51 Drew I'm here to tell you.

9:52 Adam All right. I'm going to give you just a little sample of what I'm like. Okay, bring it on. This is probably part of my technique. Yeah. Oh boy. Yeah. Keep going. And that's it.

10:09 Best Of That's good.

10:10 Adam No beating about the head with the knuckles. No resting the beer on the crown of the head. That is good stuff. Yeah.

10:18 Best Of Yeah.

10:18 Adam Again, I'll give you one more shot. And I'm not rude.

10:21 Drew Come on.

10:22 Adam But I've refined my techniques over the years, too. I learned, for instance, put down the TiVo remote. That's something I learned just a few weeks ago. I mean, the point is, is I can always improve.

10:33 Drew You're bragging now. You're bragging. Come on.

10:35 Adam All right. All right.

10:36 Best Of I'm getting intimidated.

10:37 Adam I'm saying, take the pants all the way off. These are other. Oh, if you're going to take the pants off, unless you take the shoes off. These are all things. Always, I've honed my technique. Do you see what I'm saying, Drew? There's no matter how good you are, you can improve. That's what I'm saying.

10:55 Best Of I agree completely.

10:58 Adam What you saw there, you thought was the pinnacle of receiving oral, but I'm still looking to move forward like any champion. Do you know what I mean? I don't look at my rear view. I don't look at my oral rear. I look through my oral windshield. You know what? Okay. There we go. You know what I'm saying? I would like to work with kids, handicapped kids who don't... The confidence that comes from receiving proper oral. You know what I mean? Properly receiving oral, I should say. Here we go. You're going to start talking and you've got to get them early too. You approach a guy 18, 19 years old, try to teach. No, it's like gymnastics. You get them with five, six, seven years old and really start working on the fundamentals. You don't do oral on them at that point. But again, start working on the posture, start to develop those muscles. It's just right.

11:51 Yeah.

11:52 Adam Jennifer?

11:54 Yeah.

11:55 Adam You're 28?

11:56 Caller Yes.

11:57 Adam What's happening?

11:58 Caller I don't know. My question is, I am 28 and I've never had an orgasm. I just want to know how abnormal that is, I guess, and if there's anything I can do.

12:10 Adam What do you think, Jenna?

12:12 Best Of Well, I don't think it's abnormal. I think that a lot of women, they aren't able to relax enough. They worry too much about other things that are happening, like whether or not they look fat, whether or not their man is truly in love with them, or there are a lot of different things that go through women's minds, and it's hard to relax enough to be able to get to that point where you orgasm. I've been through it, believe it or not, and it's all a matter of feeling comfortable and letting go.

12:49 Adam Women get up in their own head a little too much and get their own way, beside whatever biological wiring that is different in some women from woman to woman. But I do agree with Jenna that even the ones where the potential is there for an orgasm, they get up in their head sometimes.

13:04 Drew Does the letting go have, is it a frightening experience to some women you think?

13:09 Best Of Yeah, it's a trust thing.

13:12 Drew But what about now, that's interpersonal, that's with another person, what about if she's by herself?

13:16 Best Of Well, that's how it should begin. You should make sure that you practice. That always helps.

13:22 Drew We have a lot of women that call here, it's can't quite get in that place where those things happen to them.

13:27 Best Of Well, it's put into our heads that masturbation is so wrong.

13:31 Drew I'm not sure that.

13:33 Best Of It really is.

13:34 Drew You can't force a guy to stop no matter how much you try to tell him it's bad.

13:37 Adam Well, that's a guy, but girls.

13:38 Best Of Well, that's a man. Women are totally different.

13:40 Drew Totally different.

13:41 Best Of Totally different.

13:42 Adam What do you think she's talking about?

13:43 Drew Well, no, but she's saying that the reason they're different, I want to be clarified, it's not they're different because they were told not to do it or something's wrong with them.

13:50 Best Of No, we believe that. I mean, from the time I was young, I certainly worried about whether what I was doing was right. But I got past that. But I certainly did. But yeah, it's kind of a hard thing. I know that once I've gotten, I got to the point where I trusted a man enough to be able to like not worry about whether my face looks stupid when I was orgasming, then it was fine, then it came easy to me.

14:21 Caller So with masturbation, it's not uncommon to not be able to have one?

14:26 Drew It's very common. It's much more common with masturbation than with a person. And at your age, it's much more common to have trouble orgasming. Oh, really?

14:34 Best Of Really?

14:34 Drew Yeah.

14:34 Best Of I didn't know that.

14:36 Drew It is common at my age? For women, yeah. But at 28, you should be getting around to it. Yeah. It should be about time that things...

14:44 Best Of You got to get the right toy.

14:45 Adam Yeah. You got a vibrator?

14:48 Caller I do. But I was wondering, do I need to try different ones, I guess?

14:52 Best Of Absolutely. Drop around.

14:57 Caller All right. Thank you.

14:58 Adam Yeah. Why? What's the difference between them?

15:03 Best Of Well, every girl is different with what they like. Some like very minimal stimulation, some like very heavy stimulation. So there are toys that run the gamut.

15:14 Adam I have Ron Jeremy's penis in my attic, by the way.

15:17 He does.

15:19 Drew Ron brought in a latex version of himself.

15:22 Adam I didn't really bring it in. I told him to go get it.

15:24 Drew It was in the trunk of his car.

15:26 Adam At first when he said it was in the trunk, I thought, oh Christ, this is going to get nasty when he pulls this thing out. Then I realized, oh, it's actually on the car. I thought that was just more porn talk. But he went and got it.

15:39 Drew Then when your Guatemalan maid found it, come on. That was traumatic.

15:42 Adam I don't have no, she's probably writing a book right now.

15:45 Drew Oh, yeah.

15:46 Best Of You ought to talk to my maid.

15:47 Adam Oh, well, your maid commits suicide. You got to pay for like therapy for your maid. Exactly. My maid found this behemoth of a dork that was sitting around my house and probably thought, God knows what he does with this thing. I'm sure it had zero context other than the up the Tokai. There's only one place that thing could have gone. Yeah, very scary. And my whole thing is, I should throw it away, but it probably cost 65 bucks.

16:19 Best Of Oh my God.

16:20 Adam Like what? I can't throw it away. It's something. Do you guys get into that?

16:24 Best Of So you don't use it really truthfully?

16:27 Adam I might use it to ward off like someone's trying to break into the house or something. It's a weapon. But no, I don't. Once in a while, I'll dab a little nivea on it and touch it just a little bit on my nipple. Yeah, just a little bit. Just a little bit. Come on, Drew. I have sensitive nipples. But that's un-rare. I mean, that's like three nights a week.

16:50 Best Of When you're feeling real freaky.

16:51 Adam Yeah. I got to feel. And it's poor for me to feel sexy. That's why I wear sexy underpants. And it's not for my lady. I do for me. You know what I'm saying. I like to feel good. I don't care what other people think. I need to feel sexy.

17:04 We'll be right back.

17:05 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. The Jenna Jameson in tonight. Name of the book. How to make love like a porn star. It is out as we speak. We'll take a quick break. Be right back. It's Loveline. Nay, the best of Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, and we move forward with the show. Yes, Drew?

17:54 Drew I want to just look back to Jenna Jameson. We just finished. Remember when she hit that, like a 12-carat canary diamond on her hand?

18:01 So crazy.

18:02 Drew Spotty guards.

18:03 Adam Yeah, spotty guards.

18:04 Drew My goodness.

18:05 Adam What's a spotty guard?

18:06 Drew Spotty guards.

18:07 Adam All right.

18:07 Drew I mean, it just was, she was an event.

18:10 Adam Oh, yeah. Big kasha. Big time. All right. Let's get going. Well, Seiko was the same way in the 70s. Let's get moving with Dax Shepard and Seth Green. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Seth Green is here.

18:29 Caller What's up, y'all?

18:31 Adam Dax. Quiet, Drew. I'm not done introducing the guest. Dax Shepard.

18:36 Caller Sorry, Adam.

18:37 Adam Thank you. Dax Shepard is also here tonight.

18:41 Best Of What it is. What it is.

18:42 Adam Without a Paddle is the name. And Dax Shepard destructed me as the world's greatest astronaut name, Dax Shepard.

18:49 Best Of Well, there is the famous Shepard astronaut, so it's not a far leap.

18:52 Drew But Dax has even a more masculine.

18:54 Adam Yeah.

18:55 Best Of That's the astronaut for the new millennium, y'all.

18:57 Adam Dax, what's, is it short for something?

19:01 Best Of There was a best-selling book in the 70s called The Adventures by Harold Robbins and my parents were reading the book when they were pregnant with me and the lead character's name was Dax.

19:11 Drew Trooper Doxent.

19:13 Best Of No.

19:13 Drew No.

19:14 Adam Wow. So they just write a book and then... Yeah.

19:16 Best Of He was a Spanish revolutionary, who laid every girl he met and yeah. It was a real smutty...

19:23 Adam Good thing they weren't reading like Charlotte's Web. Be shrewd.

19:28 Best Of Well believe me, in Michigan, I don't know that there could have been a worse name. Charlotte might have been about...

19:33 Adam Oh, Dax. Yeah, but now it's cool.

19:35 Best Of Well, now people accuse me of having made it up for this.

19:38 Adam Well, that's the other thing. Now you have to deal with that.

19:41 Best Of Yeah.

19:42 Adam Yeah.

19:42 Best Of It's funny. When people are confronted with something new, they refuse to believe that that could just possibly be.

19:50 Adam You hear a name like Dax and you assume... And the guy's in show business and he's on MTV or was on MTV.

19:56 Best Of But if you make that assumption about me, you're basically also making the assumption that I'm an ass.

20:00 Adam Yeah.

20:01 Best Of Because if you think, oh, this guy made up this name Dax, then you must think I'm a real jerk, too.

20:05 Adam Yeah.

20:06 Best Of Right?

20:06 Adam No, no.

20:07 Best Of Because if you told me, Dr. Drew, you said, my name's Lightning Bolt. I'd be like, A, you made it up. B, what kind of idiot makes up a name? Lightning Bolt.

20:13 Adam By the way, but that's why we make the assumption it makes us feel better about us. Right. You understand?

20:20 Best Of I see you're a handsome man.

20:21 Caller He's only 20 years old.

20:23 Adam Drew, please.

20:25 Drew But somebody could say, who gave you that name? You know what I mean? It's a nickname or something.

20:31 Best Of Oh, that's true. But my nickname's Grunt.

20:34 Adam Really?

20:35 Best Of From when I was a kid, I was deaf until I was two years old. Really? Yes.

20:39 Adam Deaf until two?

20:40 Best Of Yes. This is a true story. You could even call my mom to confirm this. But I had an earache. She took me to the doctor. Doctor looked at my ears and said, you know Dax is deaf. And my mom said, Dax isn't deaf. Dax, touch your nose. So I touched my nose. And then he said, okay, he turned me so I couldn't see her and said, now tell him to touch his nose. So she says Dax, touch your nose. I do nothing. I had scar tissue over both ear drums and was deaf. And so I couldn't talk. I had like 25 percent hearing in one ear. So I would grunt. I would try to talk. I had a surgery and they took away the scar tissue. And then I was talking like a month later.

21:15 Adam Everything was like reading your mom's lips. Yeah.

21:18 Yeah.

21:18 Best Of You would you learn to read lips just as quickly as you would learn to, you know.

21:23 Yeah.

21:23 Adam Tell me what I'm saying right now.

21:27 Best Of Olive oil.

21:30 Adam We're going to need.

21:31 Caller Whisper it. You go.

21:32 Best Of You go, I'm so into you.

21:35 It's ridiculous.

21:36 Caller Watch my lips move.

21:38 Best Of I hope you can hear what I'm saying. I hope you can read between the lines. I want you in the studio. I don't care who watches.

21:45 Adam I think I need your girlfriend to wait out in the car too. I don't need that.

21:48 Best Of She'll document with photograph. Oh, she will. Yeah. She's quick with a camera.

21:53 Adam Elisa, Elisa, Elisa, what's up, baby doll?

21:59 Caller I'm 15 and I have a question about, if you have an alcoholic parent, what can you do as a child to help them?

22:07 Best Of Well, I have intimate experience with this.

22:10 Drew You want to talk about it?

22:11 Best Of Well, hold on. Yeah, we both. What's up for ACOAs?

22:15 Adam I want Dax to read my lips again. Al-anon. Did you read it?

22:19 Drew What'd I say?

22:20 Best Of Yeah, that was good.

22:21 Drew Did you get it?

22:22 Adam Are you parents alcoholics? Yours?

22:26 Best Of Mine? Yeah. I have a parent. That's a recovering alcoholic.

22:29 Adam Did you do any Al-anon stuff?

22:32 Best Of I did and I found it. Well, yeah, I did.

22:38 Adam All right.

22:38 Best Of But I enjoyed going to AA More because I'd rather be the guy that was causing all the problems and the people dealing with the problems.

22:46 Adam Hey, Alyssa?

22:47 Best Of Yeah.

22:48 Adam Is it Alyssa or Alyssa?

22:49 Drew Alyssa.

22:51 Adam Okay. That's another one we got to straighten out too. How about something like Alateen?

22:57 Drew See, she's focused on curing the mom and not helping herself. That's one of the mistakes that people have when they're involved with alcoholic addicts. Really, all you can do is take care of yourself. The fact is, in my experience, that when these important relationships in the alcoholic's life begin taking care of themselves, they stop engaging in the dance with the alcoholic. They stop putting up with the BS. That actually wakes the alcoholic up very often. It gets them willing to get better. There's nothing you can do to make her better. You can certainly put her on notice that it's significantly affecting your life, refer her in the right direction, get her to go into AA if possible, get her to a Dictionologist. But all you can do for yourself is go to Allatee and Andrew Guettether.

23:37 Best Of I think the most important thing for you to recognize is that it's not a judgment on how much that person loves you, that they don't love me enough to quit, because they don't love themselves enough not to quit. They're miserable. Anyone who suffered from it hates it more than you could possibly hate it and they can't stop it for themselves. So you should never feel like it's any judgment on their loving you or not loving you.

24:02 Drew All right, baby doll.

24:03 Adam That is. Take care of yourself, all right? All right. Have a good time.

24:08 Best Of It really sucks to deal with that when you're 15.

24:10 Drew Yeah, but you shouldn't have to be a parent at 15.

24:12 Best Of No, but so many people are.

24:15 Adam Yeah, and saving your parents or healing your parents. You should just work on getting away from them. Really, that's what you need to focus on. And then retribution, which is the stage I'm at now. Now it's payback time. Oh yeah. It's a bitch. Pixie?

24:29 Yeah.

24:30 Adam You're 18?

24:31 Caller Uh-huh.

24:32 Best Of Is that a nickname, Pixie?

24:34 Caller No, it's my real name.

24:35 Adam Wow. You got to get together with Dax.

24:37 Best Of Do they read that famous book?

24:39 Adam This is Dax and Pixie Shepard.

24:41 Caller Dax and Pixie.

24:43 Best Of Dax and Pixie Shepard.

24:46 Adam Is that a mousty?

24:47 Best Of Would you like to date me? Is that an option, Pixie?

24:50 Caller I really don't know.

24:52 Best Of Oh, boy. I've just been exposed as a nobody.

24:55 Adam Go ahead, Pixie. You got to get another motorcycle accident to build your confidence up. Go ahead, Pixie.

25:02 Caller Okay. I've been dating this guy for about a month, right? Every time we mess around, I can't get his penis fully hard. I mean, I'll do strip pieces. I'll do everything.

25:13 Caller Is it really big?

25:15 Caller What?

25:16 Caller Is it really large? Because sometimes that has an effect. If a guy has a really, really large penis, it won't get full.

25:21 Drew Does he have medication?

25:23 Caller It's what?

25:24 Caller No.

25:24 Best Of It's eight inches long. I love it. She knows exactly. It's eight inches.

25:29 Caller Yeah, I'm sure. But anyways, about that. Is he on Prozac? No, he's not on anything.

25:35 Best Of How about Propecia? Does he have thin hair? Is he on testosterone inhibitor?

25:41 Caller I don't know.

25:41 Caller Is he into dudes?

25:44 Caller I don't think he is. I mean, him and his friend, they're living together. They're pretty homophobic.

25:49 Adam I mean, that's always a good sign.

25:52 Caller That's the big flag right there.

25:53 Drew He does protest us too much.

25:55 Adam It's true. You hook these guys up to the TMSN monitor and show them some gay erotica. It's always the homophobes that set the thing off the charts. I've been busted a few times with that.

26:07 Best Of Obviously, there's times where it is fully erect because you've measured it.

26:11 Caller Oh, I mean, it won't be fully erect, but usually when I do measure, it's about eight inches.

26:19 Best Of That's a pretty good size whining this gentleman's got.

26:21 Adam Not fully erect. And again, because there's confusion, you measure the penis, Drew, from where?

26:28 Drew From behind the anus.

26:28 Adam Center. Top of the butt crack. Center of the anus to just past the tip.

26:34 Best Of No.

26:35 Adam Yeah.

26:36 Best Of Then you're measuring your perineum. That's not fair.

26:37 Adam Center of the anus to just past the head.

26:40 Best Of Then I've got 15 inches because I've got a six inch perineum.

26:46 Adam It's just past so you can go just.

26:48 Caller I've got the biggest perineum this radio station has ever witnessed.

26:51 Adam I think it's perineum.

26:52 Caller I've got the John Holmes of perineums. I'm the John. You could land an airplane on my perineum. I hope you like playing soccer on my perineum because there's room for all your friends. John Travolta actually landed his jet on the runway that I call my perineum.

27:06 Caller I believe that.

27:07 Caller I tried to tour the Grand Canyon, but my perineum would not fit in its parameters. I've stored enough heat and food for the winter just to start my perineum.

27:20 Caller It didn't even make any sense.

27:21 Adam Hey, you want to see that whole perineum, actually, perineum riff.

27:26 Best Of Is it perineum?

27:28 Adam I was going to stop you on the fourth one.

27:30 Drew It's funny the way you were doing it.

27:31 Caller Listen, you say tomato, I say perineum.

27:34 That's right.

27:36 Adam I just got to let him roll with it.

27:37 Caller Perineum. Wait, now here's the question. So you're just not getting them completely hard?

27:44 Caller No, and I'm actually doing a lot of things. Like, even when I give him some...

27:47 Caller But what do you consider completely hard enough to break something?

27:50 Adam It's just not functional.

27:54 Caller Is that what it is? It's not functional?

27:55 Caller Exactly. I mean, I've never had an orgasm with him. And I'm like, OK, give me something to work with, you know, because I really... It's just like I'm pleasing him.

28:06 Caller Yeah, yeah.

28:07 Adam And what, does he give you oral sex?

28:09 Caller He does, but he'll stop, like, he'll go and then every, like, you know, two to three minutes he'll stop, and he'll just finger me.

28:17 Best Of That's because he's afraid to ejaculate.

28:20 Adam Well, but he's not without an erection.

28:23 Drew No erection.

28:24 Caller All right, here's the thing. No, no, she said oral.

28:26 Adam Pixie, this doesn't sound like much of a relationship. You trying to...

28:32 Caller We're casually dating.

28:33 Adam All right.

28:34 Best Of Well, I do want to say, though, if at the, you're at the month marker and he doesn't have, you know, you might want to...

28:40 Caller Yeah.

28:40 Caller Yeah, I mean, we can, I've actually looked at his penis several times while he's giving me head, and it won't be erect.

28:48 Caller But that's not uncommon.

28:50 Caller And I mean, even, even when he's like playing with my breast or something, I mean, they're just out there. So, I mean...

28:58 Adam All right. Listen, Pixie, let me explain something real quick.

29:01 Best Of I'm erect and I'm not even with you.

29:03 Caller Just you describing your breast is doing a lot for all of us.

29:06 You, you're fine.

29:07 Adam You are somebody who, who bases your soul worth on this planet to how seductive you can be to a man. So hooking you up with a guy that can't get a boner is like having a vegan work at a Black Angus restaurant. It's a retarded connection. It's unfortunate that you base your entire being on how many guys you can give a boner to in a weekend.

29:31 Caller But you're soliciting the approval of a guy who spends a lot of time living with another dude talking about how gay they're not while they slap each other on the ass with their half-armed wangs.

29:40 Adam So go find a guy. That's right. That's right. All you guys with big wangs. That's right.

29:45 Caller Oh my goodness.

29:46 Adam You're just you're like you're like a huge shotgun with no bullets in it. You know what I mean? Whereas I got I got the derringer in my sock. But it's deadly. It's deadly, man. But at close range, you got to be real close.

29:58 Best Of But honestly, Pixie, if you fell out of an airplane, you'd wish you had my perineum on your back.

30:03 Adam That's right.

30:04 Best Of It'd slow you down.

30:05 Adam That's right.

30:07 Best Of You could fan it out and use it as a makeshift parachute.

30:10 Caller I actually did that in New Zealand. We got really close.

30:13 Best Of Well, remember, I just laid on my stomach and you guys wrote it like a slip and slide for a few hours.

30:17 Caller It's really odd.

30:18 Adam Mamma. They use Dax's perineum, by the way. You know at the ballpark when it rains and I got to get the diamond?

30:26 Caller Yeah.

30:26 Adam That's what they use.

30:27 Best Of Just fan it out.

30:29 Caller No pun intended of the ballpark.

30:33 Adam It says, if you look at it, it says Brewer's on it if you can see it. Well, it's unfurled. Yeah.

30:39 Caller I posted a lot of advertisement on Dax's perineum.

30:41 Best Of Sometimes if I'm driving real fast down a hill, my brakes get hot, I'll just let some of it out the window. Yeah. And it'll just be like a sock.

30:48 Adam Yeah. Slow them right down. All right. Should we take a break or we can?

30:52 Drew I think that Pixie call. Yeah, we need a break. But Pixie call confused me. I don't think we.

30:56 Best Of I think she was just bragging about what a hot sex pot she is.

30:59 Adam She's screwy.

31:00 Caller How old was she? She's going to get pranked.

31:01 Best Of She was like, I do strip teases and everything.

31:03 Drew And sometimes when he's given me the advice not to base her whole worth and focus of her life on the male's appropriate advice.

31:11 Adam Yeah.

31:12 Drew Get on with your life.

31:12 Best Of That was pretty hard hitting, Drew, though, because I are, you know, Adam, because I kind of wanted it to keep going. And, you know, I applaud you for taking it off the sex track. Yeah, because I was I fell into it. She was getting exactly what she wanted for me. I wanted to know where she was at.

31:26 Adam Well, don't get me wrong. I want to get with some chicks. I'm saying you diked it up every once in a while. I wasn't saying stop the sexuality. I'm saying it turns a guy on if you see going down on a check. I hope that wasn't misinterpreted.

31:37 Drew No, don't worry.

31:38 Adam That came across.

31:38 Drew Yeah, of course.

31:39 Adam All right. Let's take a quick break. We'll be right back.

31:45 Love Line will be right back, so get your problems ready.

32:12 Adam Yo, it's Loveline, the best of Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Well, enough with Jenna, enough with Dax, enough with Seth. It's time to welcome Hubba Stank. Yeah, everybody! It's Loveline! I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Hubba Stank in here tonight. Got the lovely Doug and Dan. Flew in all the way from Florida, Miami.

32:41 Drew Man, they look happy about that, too, Loveline. Look at Dan.

32:43 Adam Dan's angry.

32:44 Yeah. I'm just pissed about that. We have to have a little segment where you can just talk, because you got to, we came in from Miami. Might as well get your, you know, get your words in. I can't. I'll say bad words and it'll just get ugly.

32:56 Adam Dan, you said you had a puss on. No, I just, I get really frustrated easily.

33:00 Caller I'm really irritable, you know?

33:03 Don't look at me.

33:05 Adam I'm that way, too. What is that?

33:07 Fine, now I'm home, but.

33:08 Adam Travel stuff. Unfortunately, we have to fly out early tomorrow.

33:11 But we just got the upgrade approval.

33:14 Drew Oh, congratulations.

33:15 Thank you. Thanks.

33:16 Yeah.

33:16 Drew That's the good news.

33:17 Yeah.

33:18 Adam They moved out of the bathroom and into coach.

33:22 Yeah.

33:22 And all we have to do is play an acoustic set on the plane, you know?

33:27 Adam It makes all the difference in the world. Yeah, it's like airplane. But let me ask you something, Doug. Doug, you're not a rangy guy. You're not a short guy, but what are you, 5'10?

33:38 5'9?

33:39 Adam 5'9. See, you always go up. You go up one.

33:42 Good.

33:42 Adam You know what I mean?

33:42 Drew You make him feel a little bit better about himself.

33:44 Yeah, you really thought I was 5'9, but you threw 5'10.

33:46 Adam I was thinking 5'5. No. Okay, you're 5'9. And 1'60. With the hair, you're about 5'10. Your hair is tall right now.

33:56 Caller Thanks, dude. A lot of hair. No, 1'60. I mean, try about 1'40, 1'30.

34:04 Adam Again, though, guys, you go up. Chicks, you go down. See what I'm saying?

34:08 Caller Yeah.

34:08 Adam You know, it sounds like a pack of muscle. All right, here's all I'm saying. At 5'9, 1'40, if you got a guy who's like 6'2, and 200, it's the difference between business and coach almost. It's not in the service, just in the seat size. Like I'm 6'2, and coach is really made for guys. I mean, this is how they do it. If you're 5'10, you're gonna be comfortable. If you're 5'7, you'll be more comfortable. If you're 6'3, you're aft. I mean, your knees, when that person in front of you reclines their seat, your knees will be.

34:42 Caller I had somebody's knees in my back flying home today.

34:44 Adam Yeah, horrible.

34:46 Caller I can pretzel my way into some interesting positions on Coach. I can get away with it better than you can, obviously.

34:53 Drew That's what we're saying.

34:54 Adam Yeah, I'm just saying. All I'm saying is, it's really... The number one thing in Coach... I mean, the number one thing in air travel is probably seat space. Like how much room do you got in your seat? And if you're broad-shouldered and you're lanky or tall, or you have long legs or you're heavy-set, there's going to be five hours in that chair is going to be a long ride. And if you're a dwarf, a high chair is first-class. And that's all I'm saying is the dwarfs complain a lot, but every flight is first-class.

35:26 Caller So it's even that much better for us when we get first-class. Just imagine how first-class feels to me.

35:32 Drew Not mad.

35:33 Adam Yeah, oh no, yeah.

35:34 Caller And if you can't, it's like an apartment.

35:36 Adam Most of the time when we get to the airport, we just request emergency exit rows because then you got the...

35:41 You get the electric.

35:43 Caller You got to get the second row because the first-row emergency exit, they don't recline.

35:47 Adam Right.

35:48 Caller So you get the second one, you might as well be in business class.

35:50 Adam Right. All right. All right.

35:52 Drew Except for the size of the chair.

35:54 Adam Let's keep moving. But important tips for the kiddies who are flying. Don't wear flammable clothing and do not... I always like they're still pulling box cutters out. Like they retrieved like 1500 box cutters that people were trying to travel with last year. It's like, first off, how much... You're going to a box cutting convention or you got to do a box cutting demonstration in Orlando or... What are you doing with the box cutter, by the way?

36:24 Caller Master box cutter being called across the country.

36:26 Adam Yeah. I do an origami like box cutting thing. It's beautiful, Drew.

36:31 Drew You have to see me do it. Why are those people arrested or taken for questioning?

36:34 Adam I guess they size them up and figure out that they're just stupid guys who have traveled with box cutters.

36:39 Drew That's profiling. How dare you?

36:41 Adam I know. The point is, I read in the newspaper a few weeks back that they confiscated... I mean, it could have been 20,000 box cutters since 9-11. And I just thought, okay, I understand...

36:53 Caller How many box cutter attacks are there every year?

36:57 Adam Here's what we've learned from box cutter attacks. Two is too many, you know? But the point is, I understand the nail clippers. I even understand the occasional weapon, which is, I'm a guy who walks around with a knife in my boot, and I forgot to take it out when I went to the airport. The guy's stupid, but at least... Where's the box cutter factoring in? What are you doing with it? You're breaking down pallets or something? What are you doing with it? What do you got to travel with it?

37:22 Drew I'm saying the person needs to be brought in.

37:25 Adam All right, this is just like the good white trash you see on Southwest, the guys that are flying in cut-off sweatpants and a wife beater and flip-flops. It's like, where are you going? To the beach? Like, are you flying from Cincinnati to the beach? Where are you going? Where are you going in your... You're wearing sweatpants with no pockets. Where are you going? What are you doing? You're wearing a sleeveless shirt and flip-flops. Does someone wake you up and push you on to this airplane? Does you not know you were leaving the day before? Want to wear a shirt with a pocket in it, perhaps? You can put a pen or your sunglasses in it or... Even a fanny pack at this point, you know? Like, where are you going?

38:09 Caller Yeah, but those people usually have fanny packs.

38:11 You are right.

38:12 Adam You are right. You are right, yeah. Leather fanny packs.

38:16 Caller That's a Harley Davidson.

38:18 Adam That's how you know you have arrived. You step up to a leather fanny pack.

38:22 Drew Cecilia, 16. Cecilia?

38:27 Caller Hello?

38:28 Adam What's happening?

38:30 Caller Well, I'm 16 and I just started hanging out with a different crowd, which is older than me. Well, they all were revealing clothes. Of course, I would do that too. Since I'm, I don't know, bigger than them, I got a touch. What do you mean bigger?

38:52 Adam Bigger chested? Yes.

38:54 Caller Just bigger.

38:55 Caller Bigger chested. And so I got the attention of this guy and he ended up molesting me and now I feel like I have feelings for him.

39:08 Drew What do you mean molesting him? What does that mean?

39:09 Adam I think it's called rape after a certain age and done by a stranger.

39:13 Drew He forced himself on you physically?

39:16 Caller Yeah. And he ripped off my shirt and yeah.

39:21 Drew Did he have intercourse with you?

39:23 Caller No.

39:25 Adam Well, what did he do? He ripped off your shirt and?

39:27 Caller And he kind of, I don't know, felt around and sucked stuff and licked stuff on me.

39:34 Caller Were you trying to fight him off or you just kind of, what's going on?

39:38 Caller I told him no and he wouldn't get off me.

39:41 Adam And did he actually tear your shirt?

39:44 Caller Well, he unzipped my coat and he like kind of ripped it.

39:49 Drew All right. I assume there were no witnesses, right?

39:51 Caller No, not at all.

39:52 Caller What about God?

39:54 Drew And there's no way to prove that he did this. So really what you got to do is stay away from these people.

39:59 Adam She likes the guy.

40:00 Caller How much older were they?

40:03 Caller Well, 18. My friend was 18 that I was with.

40:07 Drew Well, next it's going to be rape. So that's where this is going.

40:11 Adam So what's the name of your kid's book?

40:12 Drew Next it's going to be rape, yes.

40:14 Adam I think next stop rape. I think there's a train smiling train.

40:18 Drew That's the French translation, yes.

40:19 Caller Next stop rape.

40:21 Adam All right, so listen, Cecilia, why is it you like this guy? You must have a horrible father.

40:27 Caller Yeah, I do actually.

40:30 Adam Because when you have a horrible dad, then horrible guys seem attractive.

40:33 Drew Right, especially when they do a horrible thing.

40:35 Adam Yeah, in a way. Well, that's how you become a horrible guy.

40:37 Drew I guess that's true.

40:38 Adam In a way that it transcends logic. It's like this guy abused me, but I can't stop thinking about him.

40:45 Caller Yeah. Could it be that I'm attracted to him because I just broke up with my boyfriend too?

40:52 Drew No, it's because your dad was a horrible guy.

40:55 Adam Yes.

40:55 Caller So was my boyfriend.

40:57 Drew Well, you're attracted to horrible people, but the fact is it's just like being an alcoholic. You have to break it. You have to stay away from this. You can't even tiptoe into this. You have to get away from this guy.

41:07 Adam Cecilia, I worry about you. I worry about the future. I worry about you getting pregnant and dropping out of school and becoming a statistic.

41:18 Drew Future is not bright on the path you're on.

41:21 Adam So how about a little therapy? What can you do? Do you like school? Can you do something?

41:28 Caller Yeah.

41:30 Adam Well, hold on a second. We got to talk about Cecilia for a second. Here's the problem. You got a 16-year-old who's dad was an a-hole who did God knows what before he left. And then you got Cecilia and all of a sudden she springs a set of boobs and gets guys who are attracted to her and she's getting the attention that she never got from daddy.

41:48 Drew Older guys.

41:49 Adam And they're older guys and it's exciting. And what are you going to do to talk her out of this?

41:54 Drew You know what I mean? At least maybe she can hear the fact that the situation she was just in was not something that was good for her, that she wants to repeat. Maybe she'll believe us. This is a road she's going down where people like this will treat her more like that. And even perhaps worse things will happen. And the only way to break that or keep that from happening is to stop. Yeah. Step back, get back into school, do other things. You can get her out of there, go to college, be with people of her own age.

42:19 Adam But could you imagine for just one second? And I know Doug and possibly Dan had a decent childhood.

42:27 Drew Don't look at him.

42:28 Adam Well, I don't want to eyeball him. But a year I had a horrible childhood. Drew was medium crappy. What if at age 15 and a half, you started really filling out your trousers and the ladies started noticing the older ladies. And all of a sudden you had 19 year old ladies coming by staring at your groin going, wow, that Drew's really filling out his shorts. Look at that. And then said, hey, you want to drink some wine coolers? It's like, I got my own van, you know, like how quick would you be on that?

42:59 Caller Are there ladies that actually do that?

43:01 Adam No, that's my point. I'm saying, would any of us have said no to it at 15 and a half or 16? How are you going to tell Cecilia to, now look, focus on schoolwork.

43:13 Drew Thankfully, a 16 year old female has a few more neurons firing than a 16 year old male.

43:18 Adam As a man of exquisite passion.

43:20 Drew She's not under the influence of the same hormonal storm that the male is.

43:23 Adam He would have dropped out of school. Like they could have went like this 19 year old with the van and the wine cooler is going to want. I'm going to need you. Yes. I'm going to need my friends to have sex. I'm going to film it and then I need you to kill your parents. Okay. Okay. Yeah. All right. So I'll pick you up at 8.

43:42 Drew We'll be like, oh, it's cartoon.

43:43 Adam Do you be following the scent? Yeah. All right. Cecilia. Yeah. All right. Focus on school. Please.

43:54 Drew Get out. Go to college. Go away. Go far away with your people, your own age.

43:57 Caller Okay.

43:58 Drew Stop handling bad guys. Realize that bad guys are not going to change. They're not going to treat you well. I know it's amazingly attractive to you, but don't go after those things that are super attractive because that source of that attraction is built on very, very serious pain.

44:11 Adam And let me say this. This is a second reason why society needs to really punish these deadbeat slash a-hole dads because of the lingering psychological damage. You know, we do this thing where, well, he molested his kid or he was an alcoholic or he physically was physically abusive or he left his family and his three-year-old daughter. And he went and started another family. But whatever, he's not a criminal. All he just left. But he is inflicted most of the time, irreparable mental imagery and abuse on his young daughter, who will then hook up with the succession of abusive guys who could possibly, I mean, what percentage of women who are killed by their abusive husbands had the abusive dad who never goes to jail?

45:01 Drew 100%.

45:01 Adam And the only thing that got him with the abusive, what turned out to be an abusive killer is the a-hole dad who is abusive. He's not yet, we don't hold him, he's not culpable at all. It's just like, well, he's not a great guy, but he led her down that path. Prostitution, whatever it is. Not the strippers.

45:20 Drew Oh, you like those?

45:20 Adam Those are college girls. They're looking for a lot of money.

45:23 Drew Just trying to get by.

45:24 Adam They're trying to, you know what? They like kicks. Just looking for kicks.

45:28 Drew Just for kicks.

45:29 Adam Just for kicks. All right, Hoobastank is here tonight. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

45:36 All right, guys, here's the deal.

45:37 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person? One call is all you need to make.

45:42 Call the Dateline.

45:43 877-889-DATE.

45:47 Caller 1-800-CALL-

45:49 LOVE-191.

46:07 Adam Drew, get it on.

46:09 Drew No weather, please no weather. I mean, tell the weather, tell the weather.

46:12 Adam 829, 299.

46:13 Drew Yeah, I love the weather, so tell the weather.

46:14 Adam Lots of weather. 56 degrees in Carson, 56 in Banning, 56 in alcohol.

46:21 Drew It's bad when there are psychological issues.

46:22 Adam Sugar White checking in at 56.

46:26 Drew All right. I love the offspring.

46:27 Adam Let's keep moving with the show. Drew does love the offspring.

46:31 Drew I do.

46:32 Adam Yeah.

46:32 Drew And Dexter was very kind, and he was going to take you flying, and you blew him off.

46:36 Adam He is a pilot. He owns a jet. Two jets.

46:40 Caller Two jets, remember?

46:42 Adam Really?

46:42 Drew He had pictures of both, though, remember?

46:44 Adam Wow. I don't even have half a jet. Wow. Yeah. He doesn't like to brag because that ain't rock and roll, but the man owns a jet. He's doing all right. All right. So please welcome our dear, dear friend Dexter from the offspring. Everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Dexter's here from the offspring. Hi. A bit of a little panic. We're in the other room doing a little recording, and we saw Chris run. When you see Chris run, it puts the fear of God in you. When engineer Chris starts running for the door, that's trouble.

47:21 Drew You know it means something.

47:22 Adam It's kind of like the first time I heard my dad say MFer.

47:27 Drew Scared you.

47:28 Adam Yeah, I knew he meant. He let the MFer fly. Oh, no, he let the C sucker go.

47:37 Drew Oh, yeah.

47:37 Adam And I remember thinking, wow, he means business.

47:41 Caller Parents save those ones for special occasions.

47:42 Adam They do, and once in a while, just freak the kid out when the serious profanity comes sailing past the lips. All right. Offspring, CD, what else? Splinter and let's take some calls. Some calls? Yes. Because that's the show.

48:01 Drew Yeah. As you can see, Dexter, that's the show. I'm not getting to talk.

48:04 Adam It's about the calls, about the callers. Shana?

48:09 Yeah.

48:10 Adam You're 18?

48:12 Caller Yes, I am.

48:13 Adam What's up?

48:14 Caller Well, I've been dating my boyfriend for three months now, and I kind of have a problem. We just recently started having sex in the last month, and I always need to hear a celebrity's voice in order to get off.

48:30 Drew A particular one?

48:31 Caller There's a couple of them, like Anthony Ketis from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Steven Seagal is another one of them. And we always have to have sex over at my house and my apartment so I can play either a DVD or my CDs in the background. Or otherwise, I don't want to have sex.

48:52 Adam Hold on.

48:53 Caller Hold on a second.

48:55 Adam This sounds bizarre and sort of untrue.

48:59 Drew Where do you get a CD of these guys just talking, I mean?

49:03 Adam Well, do you have to have Anthony Ketis singing?

49:06 Caller Oh, no. I mean, it's not necessarily even him that I need. There are several different people that will do it for me.

49:12 Adam Well, you got Seagal. Who else? Like who? Yeah.

49:15 Caller Kevin Fafey is another one. Norm Macdonald. I like all of those guys.

49:23 Adam And you will not have an orgasm without the sound of their voice?

49:28 Caller Well, it depends. I mean, I used to date a guy that had a nice voice that actually turned me on, so I didn't really need that. But the guy that I'm dating right now, he has kind of a high whiny voice and it doesn't do it for me.

49:40 Drew It's the beauty of guys, too. It's like, yeah, whatever you need. Let's just figure it out. Let's go.

49:44 Adam What do you want me to kill my parents?

49:45 Drew Yeah, fine. Okay, let's go.

49:50 Adam All right. So this is weird. Anybody? How about Drew or me or Dexter? I mean, we're all quasi-celebrities. Nothing?

49:59 Drew No.

50:00 Caller No, it's not even the fact that they're celebrities. It's just that their particular voices just do something really...

50:05 Drew But they're all different kinds of voices, though.

50:07 Caller Yeah.

50:07 Adam And I get mistaken for Norm MacDonald on occasion.

50:11 Do you?

50:12 Adam It happens.

50:12 Caller Maybe then I should start listening to you a little more.

50:15 Adam It should work.

50:15 Caller You should work, then. Yeah.

50:18 Caller But the problem is, anyway, it's been about a month now that we've been having sex, and he's starting to think that it's weird that we're doing it at my house all the time, and that I would just have something recorded in the background.

50:30 Adam Think about the guy whose voice is entering your ears, or are you just hearing the voice?

50:37 Caller Well, it's the voice and thinking about the person.

50:40 Adam So, I mean, you're thinking about Norm MacDonald.

50:43 Caller Yeah, or whoever it is. Yeah.

50:45 Adam Steven Seagal.

50:46 Caller Right. Steven Seagal.

50:47 Drew So, really, it's not their voice, it's just the fantasy there with one of these guys.

50:53 Adam It's like saying, I have to hear the voice of a porn star when I'm receiving oral from my girl. It's like, no, you like to watch porn while you're getting sucked off. That's what you like to do.

51:05 Caller But why is Norm MacDonald in this list?

51:07 Caller I don't understand that one.

51:10 Adam He has a certain quirky attractiveness.

51:12 Drew Yeah, she likes distinctive voices.

51:14 Adam Shana? No, but it's not so much about the voice. She likes Norm. She's attracted to Norm MacDonald.

51:19 Caller I'm actually not. It's just the voice.

51:22 Adam But you need to see the... You're thinking about them, right?

51:26 Caller A little bit, yeah. I think it's just become a problem of mine.

51:29 Adam Are you thinking that they're having sex with you?

51:31 Caller Yeah.

51:32 Adam Well, that's fantasizing about somebody else while you're with your guy.

51:37 Drew Yeah, it's a way of distancing yourself from your actual partner.

51:40 Adam She said no.

51:41 Drew She said yeah.

51:41 Caller But I'm really starting to care about the person that I'm dating and I don't want this to become an issue.

51:46 Adam All right. Well, why don't you quit it then?

51:49 Caller How can I quit it? It doesn't do anything for me.

51:51 Adam I'll give you a hint. You can't play Under Siege 2 while your boyfriend's effing you. That's one way you can quit.

52:01 Drew Just you have to stop doing it and just focus on the intimacy and see if you can get a real connection.

52:05 Adam Under Siege 2 was on a train.

52:06 Drew Well done.

52:07 Adam I was like, I want to come over the series of movies where I just come to the movie and we just have to find the modality of transportation. Like, hey, first one's on a boat, second one train, third one RV. You know, like, I don't think of the story anymore. I just got to think of where it takes place.

52:24 Drew Why don't you just follow the progression in the Green Eggs and Ham? On a boat or the goat?

52:31 Adam Or maybe I'll do it in this transportation progression. Like, first one takes place on one of those bicycles with the giant front wheel.

52:39 Drew Oh, the historical progression.

52:42 Adam That one's a steam car and it just keeps going.

52:45 Drew First be a wagon, a horse drawn, be a rock.

52:49 Adam That's a wheel carved into it. Yeah. Then we end up with the citation. Yeah. Commander Dexter on the flight deck. He doesn't call it the cockpit. That could be offensive. All right. Frank.

53:04 Caller Hey, people. Hey.

53:07 Adam Hey.

53:08 Caller What's happening, Frank?

53:10 Adam We were doing great until you called, Frank. Now you're bringing us down.

53:14 Caller All right. I'll try to correct that.

53:16 Adam Thank you.

53:16 Caller What's up? Well, you guys were talking about penis curvature.

53:22 Adam We were.

53:23 Caller We was.

53:24 Caller I think I have the problem of it pointing downward. All right. What's the deal with that? Like, is it the anatomy or what?

53:36 Drew Well, anatomy is a description of what you're looking at. So they would have to be the anatomy.

53:41 Adam It's not a force field of downward facing dorks that's in your underpants is your actual penis, right? Yes.

53:49 Drew Yes. All right. Is this something you've acquired as you've gotten older or has it been there all the time?

53:54 Caller Well, it's actually just one of some.

53:59 Drew But is it something that it's always been that way?

54:00 Adam I was going to explain to you it's when he has a boner.

54:02 Drew I know.

54:03 Adam I said- I love our callers. Go ahead, Drew. Let's do a Loveline reenactment.

54:07 Drew So your penis points downwards, has it always been that way or is it something that's developed recently?

54:12 Adam Well, it's only when I get a boner. I blew a Snuggie on the mic.

54:24 Drew Oh my.

54:25 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

54:26 Adam We understand. Listen, when you don't have a boner, your penis is zero shape. Everyone's dork is the same shape minus the boner.

54:33 Drew Yes.

54:33 Adam It's the boner that brings it out.

54:35 Drew That's right.

54:35 Adam It's the same shape balloons have when they don't have air in them. You don't know which one you got until you blow into it.

54:42 Drew That's right.

54:42 Adam You see what I'm saying?

54:44 Drew Right.

54:44 Adam That's why it's important to blow. Frank?

54:48 Caller Yeah.

54:49 Adam Okay.

54:50 Drew So this downward curve, something that has evolved recently or has it always been this way? Your penis?

54:55 Caller It just evolved recently.

54:57 Drew All right. So then that's something that sometimes will respond to vitamin E. Take about 800 units of vitamin E a day. If it doesn't get better, there are actually surgical interventions.

55:05 Adam How many units is, how many is that? Two pills? Three pills?

55:08 Drew They're usually come at four or eight hundreds.

55:11 Adam So you just take a pill or two?

55:12 Drew Yeah.

55:13 Adam All right.

55:13 Drew Once a day.

55:14 Adam Yeah, it's good times.

55:15 Drew It is a good time.

55:16 Adam It's not gonna do anything, but you take it anyway.

55:18 Drew No, if it's peronies, the peronies, the evolving thing can sometimes get better with that.

55:21 Caller No, no, no, no.

55:23 Caller Now listen, no.

55:25 Adam I'm telling you no, but you could take it anyway. And here's the other thing, too.

55:28 Drew It sounds like you struggle with that, Adam.

55:30 Adam With the peronies?

55:31 Drew Yeah.

55:32 Adam No, I never had peronies. I don't got enough. That's right. It's like a fresh stock coming out from the soil. It can't wrap itself around the trellis. I see. It's barely peeking up from the earth.

55:46 Drew Right. I understood.

55:47 Adam Of course, it's going to go off.

55:48 Drew That's right. Not enough to make a design yet.

55:51 Adam How windy can an eight-foot road be?

55:55 Drew Yeah.

55:56 Adam You see what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

55:58 Drew Right.

55:58 Adam Okay. Let's keep moving forward. Ryan?

56:03 Yeah.

56:05 Adam You're 15?

56:06 Caller Yeah.

56:07 Adam Your girlfriend is a virgin, won't have sex with you?

56:10 Caller Yeah. Because I'm not circumcised. I want to know if I should get circumcised or if I should just find someone else.

56:20 Adam Did she say because of that?

56:23 Caller Yeah.

56:24 Drew Well, maybe she's just not ready to have sex. She's using that as an excuse.

56:28 Adam Sounds like that's the case.

56:30 Drew Maybe you ought to slow down a bit. All right.

56:34 Adam Yeah. What do you guys do?

56:38 Caller Just foreplay stuff. Nothing real heavy.

56:44 Adam Nothing heavy?

56:45 Caller Yeah.

56:46 Adam Yeah. How long have you been with her?

56:48 Caller Well, I've known her since I was a little. Our parents work together. So I've known her since I was probably about two or three.

56:55 Adam Right. How long have you been with her?

56:58 Caller For about a year and a half.

57:01 Adam Oh, all right. So she's been your girlfriend for a year and a half.

57:04 Caller It's a long time when you're 15.

57:05 Drew Would she say that too?

57:07 Caller Huh?

57:08 Drew Would she say a year and a half also?

57:09 Caller Yeah.

57:10 Adam All right. Well, she's not ready to have sex.

57:16 Caller All right. All right.

57:18 Adam And listen, I don't know what the... Uh-uh. That sounds bad. I don't know what the statistics are on circumcision in the United States, but it was probably, I don't know, 50 percent 10 years ago or something, wasn't it? It wasn't it on the circumcision sort of... Was there a certain point where it was crossing and becoming more prevalent? No, no, I was going to say less prevalent, or maybe it's had a resurgence in the last few years.

57:50 Drew I still think it's drifting.

57:52 Adam It's drifting toward Europe?

57:54 Drew Towards the prepuce.

57:55 Adam Toward the prepuce. So the point is, is listen, ladies...

58:00 Drew Get used to it.

58:01 Adam Yeah. I've seen your future. There's a foreskin in it. I got a crystal ball here.

58:09 Drew By the way, is anyone consulted with women on this point? Because everyone's thinking that they're always better worried that they're being abused in childhood by having their foreskin removed.

58:18 Adam Wouldn't be a bad... Yeah.

58:19 Drew That might be a little survey of women's preferences.

58:22 Adam What do you like, ladies? Because that's...

58:24 Drew That's where we're going.

58:25 Adam Yeah. That's where we're going. Yeah. Same way. It's same way with, you know, first date. What kind of food you like? What movie do you want to see? What do I need? What do you like? A lambskin or latex gal? What do you... What can I do to get you to spread your legs?

58:39 Drew By the way, all these other a-holes can go on and get their... Leave their prepues right where it is. And I'm taking my kids off. On the hunch that they'll give them an edge.

58:46 Adam I like the idea that... I like the guys that are trying to stretch it with tape and weights and they've been traumatized and... Where are those guys? I haven't heard about them in a while.

58:56 Drew Not in a while.

58:57 Adam I used to hear about those guys. They went... What'd they do? They got onto something else. Yeah. They always get... It's always that same breed. It's that somehow they've been wounded. It's society's fault, but it's really their mom they have the beef with. Yes? Struggling with their sexuality, putting fishing weights on what's left of their foreskin, trying to stretch it back, crunching some numbers and giving some sort of bizarre data. It's really... It's the data people. They start talking about how thick the skin is on the head of your penis and how thick the skin is on guys who are uncircumcised versus... It's the same people with the 55,000 people dying of second-hand smoke. Just go get your data. What's your point? We'll make the data fit. Sort of like attorneys, really. Oh, who doesn't like them attorneys? Nicole?

59:53 Caller Yeah.

59:54 Adam You're 22?

59:56 Caller What's up?

59:58 Caller I recently got a phone call from like a telemarketer and it was actually for our phone sex line. And I found out that the boyfriend, my boyfriend I live with had a $1,500 phone sex line, phone bill.

1:00:13 Adam I love it when a guy gets popped and it's not me. Any guy gets popped other than me is great. Wow. I love that. And especially because the guy probably makes $1,500 every three months, right?

1:00:26 Caller How many minutes is that? He makes pretty good money.

1:00:28 Caller It's paid off already, but.

1:00:30 Adam Oh, what's he do?

1:00:32 Caller He works, I guess two jobs.

1:00:34 Caller He works hard.

1:00:36 Adam Two jobs. By the way, two jobs, worse than one job and three jobs worse than two. And whenever you say, oh, this guy, he's got the world by the horse, he's got five jobs. That's always bad. I don't know why it is, but more jobs you work, the less money you make. Maybe it's commuting. I don't know what it is.

1:00:55 Caller So, he knows I know, but I just wanted to know is there, because he says that it's been like a month since he's called. And of course, it caused a fight. And I found out, you know, my how and when he had been calling.

1:01:08 Adam But what do you want to bet, by the way, like a month is into single digits? I mean, nine days.

1:01:14 Drew Yeah.

1:01:14 Caller No, it's been the people faxed me actually a list of, you know, all the time he had called. And the last time was like a month ago. But I just wanted to know how, I don't know, the signs, I guess, of if it's going to happen again or.

1:01:32 Drew He's onto another service.

1:01:33 Adam Cauliflower ear and chafing on the right hand.

1:01:36 Caller He says that, you know, he realized that it was wrong of him to do. And I kind of seen it as cheating.

1:01:42 Drew It's not cheating. Guys, well, it's not cheating. However, it does suggest it's suspicious for sexual addiction.

1:01:50 Caller Right. Yeah. He thinks. And after talking about it, he does think that he might have a sexual addiction to porn.

1:01:58 Adam Well, where is he? Where are you? Do you work a night shift or something and he's home during the day or?

1:02:04 Caller He works mornings and I work nights and go to school full time.

1:02:07 Adam Yeah. I'll tell you, the devil makes work for idle hands. You live a guy alone in a house and I don't know, how old is he?

1:02:17 Caller He's 22.

1:02:18 Adam You live a 22-year-old dude with a credit card.

1:02:21 Caller On a computer.

1:02:21 Adam And some cable and a computer and a little spice channel, whatever. You leave that guy home all day, well, you're gone all day. There's a jack fest going on in there.

1:02:30 Caller And I'm not one of those people that think, oh, guys shouldn't masturbate. Like, I understand masturbation.

1:02:35 Adam Well, listen, you're here, but yeah, your guy may have an issue.

1:02:37 Drew This is all part of his masturbatory habits.

1:02:39 Caller Right.

1:02:40 Drew That's all this is.

1:02:40 Caller I just want to know if there's something I can do to maybe take the attention off of calling the sex lines and maybe.

1:02:48 Drew It depends if he's an addict or not. If he had a history of sexual trauma in childhood.

1:02:52 Caller No.

1:02:55 Adam What about other, I'm sorry, go ahead, Dax.

1:02:57 Drew Get a day job.

1:02:58 Caller Yeah.

1:02:59 Adam He has two jobs and he's got six hours a day to putz around the house and beat off.

1:03:04 Caller It's just, he said that, you know, it's just like when he gets bored and I'm not home. And I guess he said that he just kind of goes blank and calls and doesn't think about the consequences at the time. I'm just worried that that's going to turn into.

1:03:18 Adam All right. Is he, does he smoke weed? Is he drink?

1:03:22 Caller Did he ever?

1:03:23 Caller When he, maybe when he was like 16, but not since I've been with him, not for like three or four years.

1:03:28 Drew No, no, for sure.

1:03:30 Caller Drinks on social occasions, but.

1:03:32 Drew Nothing much, all right.

1:03:32 Adam All right. Look, Drew, I'm no doctor, but here's what I'm going to say. I think you have to let it be known that, listen, I'm cool. You want to beat off, you want to beat off. This is not about you beating off.

1:03:43 Drew It's about the consequences.

1:03:44 Adam This is about addiction.

1:03:45 Drew Yeah, it's the consequences.

1:03:46 Adam And it doesn't matter what we're talking about. Addiction is addiction. Right. And I'm not going to have the addiction part.

1:03:51 Drew Right.

1:03:52 Adam So that's the part we got to work on.

1:03:53 Drew And the question is if he, can he prevent the consequences? And if the consequences keep mounting, if the relationship starts having trouble, if his work fails, or he spends too much money and he still can't stop, that's addiction. I would check out the Delamo Treatment Center in Torrance.

1:04:07 Adam Yeah. Never beat off the phone sex once in my life. No, never had credit cards on the prompts. But hey, hey, hey.

1:04:15 Drew Phone sex seems almost antiquated with all the stuff that's out there.

1:04:18 Adam I know. They call me old fashion, but just pop in a porn and go to town. I really got to be talking to some. I don't want to talk to people having sex with it. That's what I do. It's like I call up phone sex lines, like shh, quiet down, sweetie, I'm beating off. I'm wearing it. Hey, I'm beating off. We can talk when you're done.

1:04:38 Drew Yeah, Adam, when you talk about beating off, you don't always have to give the sign the universal beat off sign.

1:04:46 Adam How are you going to know I'm talking about beating off unless my hand is doing the Yahtzee roll? All right. Dexter is here from The Offspring. Take a quick break. Be right back.

1:04:56 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline.

1:04:57 Caller Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

1:05:04 Adam If the January Playboy is any indication, 2005 is going to be hot, hot, hot. Thanks to Jenny McCarthy's steamy pictorial. Yes, we knew Fergie when she was-

1:05:46 Drew Orca, wildflower.

1:05:47 Adam Wildflower. No, wild orchid. Wild orchid. That's all right. Yeah, I met her on Love Line, the TV show. Nice. Nutty, but nice. And I've had some celebrities get mad at me because I call them nutty, like Rose McGowan and stuff. Well, first off, you are nutty.

1:06:04 Drew Dave Arquette.

1:06:05 Adam Dave Arquette's nutty too. You can't get mad if I call you nutty because you're nutty. I don't just make it up. I'm just reporting the news. I'm not making it up.

1:06:12 Drew When you said that, 300 deps have said it, and acted nutty.

1:06:15 Adam That's very true.

1:06:16 Drew Very good nature.

1:06:17 Adam Nutty, not a bad thing if you're a celebrity.

1:06:19 Drew No, no, no.

1:06:19 Adam It's colorful.

1:06:20 Drew In fact, tonight, we're full of that.

1:06:22 Adam That's right. Please welcome the Black Eyed Peas, featuring Fergie and Taboo. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew for number 1-800-LOVE-191. The Black Eyed Peas are here tonight. Fergie and Taboo are in here. And we have...

1:06:43 Caller Did a switcheroo.

1:06:44 Adam We did a little switcheroo. Anderson, Anderson, maybe you can play the Taboo theme song.

1:06:49 Caller Which is this...

1:06:52 Caller Yes. Classic.

1:06:54 Adam Classic. Yeah. This song is in Taboo too. Do you know Taboo?

1:07:00 Caller I've been a big fan of Taboo. I've been a big fan of many adult films. Oh, really? Since I was young, you know, it taught me a lot about my manhood. Yeah.

1:07:10 Best Of This film could cover this.

1:07:11 Best Of You know, it is quite a theme song for you.

1:07:14 Caller It's quite a theme song. You know, there's also Sweetest Taboo by Sade.

1:07:18 Adam Well, that's true.

1:07:19 Drew But I'm just thinking about Taboo learning about being a man through this film.

1:07:24 Best Of Yeah.

1:07:24 Caller Well, you got to understand, I came from a place called Rosemead, which is in the San Diego Valley.

1:07:30 Drew Next to Temple City.

1:07:31 Caller Yeah. Dr. Drew.

1:07:33 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Shout out for Temple City.

1:07:37 Drew To the side of Montebello.

1:07:38 Caller Rosemead.

1:07:39 Drew Montebello's to the side.

1:07:40 Best Of Right next to San Gabriel.

1:07:41 Best Of And I have to give it up to Hacienda Heights.

1:07:43 Caller Hacienda Heights.

1:07:45 Adam You're Hacienda hider?

1:07:46 Best Of Definitely.

1:07:47 Adam Wow. The other thing that's ironic about Temple City, not one Jew in the whole place.

1:07:51 Best Of Wow.

1:07:52 Adam Think about it. Temple City. Not a Jew?

1:07:55 Best Of No temples.

1:07:56 Adam Yeah. No temples. Hacienda Heights. Yeah. It's beautiful.

1:08:00 Drew Must be beautiful.

1:08:00 Caller I gotta say thank you for the theme song. I love it. I appreciate it.

1:08:05 Adam It makes me feel.

1:08:05 Drew There must be beautiful farms and ranches in Hacienda Heights.

1:08:09 Best Of No, actually, it has the only Buddhist temple in North America. Oh, it's huge. The biggest one.

1:08:17 Drew Strangely, it was supposed to be in Temple City, but they're real-born in Hacienda Heights.

1:08:21 Best Of Yeah, but it wasn't. No, it's in Hacienda Heights.

1:08:24 Adam So we got some locals out here. Teresa Pasadena, man. Pasadena. I'm North Hollywood. Yeah.

1:08:31 Caller North Hollywood.

1:08:32 Adam Yeah, it sucks.

1:08:33 Caller What do you think of Old Town Pasadena?

1:08:34 Drew I like it. I love Old Town Pasadena. Yeah, it's wonderful. Yeah.

1:08:37 Caller Have you ever been to Sushi Float?

1:08:39 Drew A Float.

1:08:40 Caller Yes. How about Hooters right across the way?

1:08:44 Drew I can't say. Usually, my family would go to A Float, so it's like in the Hooters.

1:08:47 Best Of I'm sure Adam's been to Hooters.

1:08:49 Adam I have been to several of them, but I've not been to the Old Town Hooters. Is that in there? They got one going?

1:08:55 Drew I've been to that one. Of course. Chris.

1:08:58 Caller Yeah, buddy.

1:09:00 Adam All right.

1:09:00 Drew He's thinking about Jenna the whole time.

1:09:02 Adam We're going to hear something else from the Black Eyed Peas, by the way, before the night is true, possibly in this break. Although, I'm not sure. I keep calling these breaks, but I should call them segments, right, Drew? And I'm not sure what the next song we're going to hear is, but we'll figure it out.

1:09:16 Drew It'll be a good one.

1:09:17 Adam We've got a question for Fergie. Rachel?

1:09:20 Hi.

1:09:21 Adam What's happening?

1:09:22 What's going on?

1:09:24 Adam What's happening?

1:09:25 Caller Hi, Rachel.

1:09:27 Adam You love me?

1:09:28 I love you.

1:09:29 Adam Great. You got a question for Fergie?

1:09:32 Caller I did. I was wondering, I grew up watching Kids Incorporated, and I was wondering how you got involved with that and how your transition between TV and becoming like a big famous recording star went, like how did you get into show business at young?

1:09:46 Drew Of course, naturally, they went looking in Hacienda Heights for future stars.

1:09:51 Adam That's the cradle of child stars is Hacienda Heights. That's where they go.

1:09:56 Best Of You know, no. Actually, you know what, you're very original. You're an OG gangster. You know, you knew Kids Incorporated. That's very cool. You know, I did that since I was eight years old. I did it for six years and graduated from that and got out of the music business for a year and got back into it with Renee, who was on the show with me, did a group with her called Wild Orchid.

1:10:22 Adam Wild Orchid, all right. And this is five years ago, six years ago?

1:10:26 Best Of Yeah, definitely. Well, it was when I was...

1:10:28 Drew It probably started eight years ago.

1:10:29 Best Of Yeah, it started a long time ago from when I was 15. Right. I actually stayed in the group for a long time, way longer than I should have personally, because I grew up as a people pleaser. You know, I wanted to make everyone happy. And so that's why I stayed in it so long. But I mean, I love the girls. They're amazing.

1:10:46 Adam And why did you why did you leave? Did the band break up? Did you leave?

1:10:51 Best Of Well, we did break up, obviously. But it had nothing to do with the girls. You know, they're great people. I stayed with them for a long time.

1:10:58 Adam But but it sounds like you want to go a different direction.

1:11:01 Best Of I had been wanting to go a different direction for a long time. And I just didn't know how to express that. And that was a personal thing for me.

1:11:10 Adam How did you get hooked up with the Black Eyed Peas?

1:11:13 Best Of Well, I went in 1998. I went to go see them at the L. Ray Theatre in LA. And I you know, I've always been to a lot of hip hop shows. I've always been a huge hip hop fan. But I went to go see them. And something about them really intrigued me because it's not that they were these thug guys. They just were artistic. They were hip hop, but they were also a rock in the same sense. They had a band. You know, they were stylish in the way they dressed.

1:11:42 Adam How'd you make your way in? Because every time I see a concert, I think, I got a jam with that guy.

1:11:47 Best Of No, I just did a mo- no, no.

1:11:49 Adam Yeah, what'd you do?

1:11:49 Best Of No, no, no, nothing like that. No, nothing.

1:11:53 Adam How'd it work? What happened then?

1:11:55 Best Of Nothing like that.

1:11:56 Adam I'm not saying it was that way. I just want to know the way it was.

1:11:59 Best Of No, the way it was is this. They're always very personal guys and back.

1:12:05 Adam Oh, please Anderson, how dare you. Chris. Yes.

1:12:08 Best Of I wish. Taboo and I have talked about it many times. But no.

1:12:14 Adam They're good guys.

1:12:15 Best Of No, they're very good guys. But actually, they did their show and they're very normal guys. And after the show, they came out at the Elrith Theatre and they did their dance circle like they always do. They did their battle.

1:12:27 Adam I do one of those after each show.

1:12:29 Best Of Yeah, they come out, they came out and just started battling, started a dance circle.

1:12:34 Adam And so you hung out.

1:12:36 Best Of Yeah, I was watching.

1:12:36 Adam And you started talking to them.

1:12:38 Best Of Yeah, I actually talked to Will.

1:12:39 Adam I don't want to finish the story for you, but eventually you got into the band, right?

1:12:43 Best Of Well, no. I talked to Will and his name at the time was Will 1X. But I talked to him and I said, you know what, I really have to work with you guys. But at the time, I was with Wild Orchid and the record company. There was no way they were letting us do anything with any hip hop artists.

1:13:00 Adam I see.

1:13:01 Best Of Because they just didn't really get that.

1:13:03 Drew So when did it happen?

1:13:04 Best Of So I kept the number, saved it, went through everything I had to go through, ups and downs, a lot of downs. But yeah.

1:13:15 Adam But eventually you got into the band, right?

1:13:18 Drew No, Adam, she didn't.

1:13:20 Adam I dare you. Well, I'm just trying to figure out how you got into the band.

1:13:23 Caller We were doing an album called Elefunk, right? We had a song called Shut Up, right? Which was one of our singles. Right. We were looking for a female voice. Our friend Dante suggested Fergie. We were like, well, can Fergie sing? Yeah, she could sing. All right, let's bring her in. We brought her in. She knocked it out.

1:13:38 Adam So you called her.

1:13:39 Caller We called her.

1:13:40 Best Of Yeah. But I mean, there's a lot of stuff that went in, in between that. So I was using myself for a while. This is and it was a very bad point in my life. I spent all my money that I had made from Wild Orchid.

1:13:54 Caller Well, do you make any money?

1:13:56 Best Of Well, I had been a child actor. I had done Kids Incorporated for my big acting debut.

1:14:04 Adam Now, so, but this.

1:14:06 Jennifer Lam-Huitt.

1:14:07 Adam Yeah.

1:14:08 Best Of Well, yeah.

1:14:09 Adam Yeah. Can you introduce me to her by the way? That was a personal call then 20 minutes ago.

1:14:13 Best Of Yeah, exactly. I mean, there's a lot of things that have happened in my life. I mean, I could go through it. It's going to take a long time.

1:14:19 Adam Well, no, I don't think we need to do that. But all I'm saying is, is you checked out the Black Eyed Peas, you were in the band. You wanted to be part of the band and the band called you.

1:14:30 Best Of No, you know, it's not that I wanted to be part of the band. I mean, I love them. I was a fan of them. I can do a lot of hip hop concerts and something about them attracted me because it wasn't the stug.

1:14:43 Adam You didn't want to be in the band.

1:14:45 Best Of You know what? I wouldn't say I didn't want to be in the band, but I would never plan to be in the band.

1:14:50 Adam All right.

1:14:51 Caller It was just a natural progression.

1:14:52 Best Of Yeah, it was just a natural progression.

1:14:54 Adam You're in the band now. That's important.

1:14:56 Best Of I was never saying that I was going to be in the Black Eyed Peas. I would have never thought that at all.

1:15:02 Adam We're going to make fun of some teenagers. Let's let's focus.

1:15:05 Caller Sarah.

1:15:06 Caller Hi. Yeah.

1:15:07 Adam You're 19?

1:15:08 Caller Yeah.

1:15:09 Adam What's up?

1:15:11 Caller Well, I've been clean now for 13 months. I shot up methamphetamine since I was 15. I've been doing drugs pretty much since I was 12. And since I've been clean, like I would say maybe once a month, maybe not even that often. I have like actual dreams, like more flashbacks of shooting up and I wake up and I'm like sweating and crying. My question is, I was wondering if that's something I'm going to have to deal with my whole life or will it eventually go away?

1:15:37 Drew Probably not. They're actually very positive when you have dreams like that. They're reminding you of what it feels like to do that and to wake up feeling guilty and miserable is sort of a rehearsal process. It's a similar kind of dream to people say, dreaming that they went into a test unprepared or on the stage and not knowing the music or something. It just motivates you to stay where you are.

1:15:58 Adam What about that one where I'm whizzing in the sink, but I'm really asleep and then I-

1:16:02 Drew You're actually whizzing in the sink though.

1:16:03 Caller No, I'm not.

1:16:05 Caller How about the one where you dream where you lose your teeth? What does that mean?

1:16:08 Drew That's anxiety. You're grinding your teeth at night.

1:16:10 Best Of No, but I actually can talk about this because I had an experience with crystal methamphetamine and it was for about a year and it's a very powerful drug, a very addictive drug and I didn't know it when I started using it. I completely understand that you have visions because you have sleep deprivation, and that's what it's from. You have-

1:16:31 Drew Well, no, it's a year and a half later. She's sleeping normally and now she's having dreams of using dreams and the part of it is-

1:16:39 Best Of The triggers.

1:16:40 Drew It's really, this is such a profound alteration of the brain's motivational systems that it's always there driving you back and it becomes visualized in dreams once in a while and then you react to them and that's good.

1:16:53 Adam That's a healthy thing. Sarah, it says you shot meth for three years.

1:16:57 Best Of Yeah.

1:16:58 Adam So that's pretty hard core.

1:17:00 Best Of Hard core. So it's normal for you.

1:17:02 Caller I started doing meth when I was 15. I think the last year and a half was just straight shooting it.

1:17:07 Adam Wow. All right. And now it's been a year and a half since you've been sober.

1:17:13 Drew Let me talk to you a little bit about that.

1:17:14 Caller It's been 13 months.

1:17:15 Drew Congratulations. It's interesting. The two things that usually happen when people shooting a lot of speed is one, you start picking on everything. Did you do that?

1:17:25 Caller I'm not picking on myself, but like I'm very critical of everything.

1:17:29 Adam No, no.

1:17:30 Drew When you were using, when you were using, I mean picking your skin till you get ulcers and things.

1:17:35 Adam Yeah.

1:17:35 Drew Did you do that?

1:17:36 Caller Yeah.

1:17:37 Drew Yeah. And then the paranoia is that develop. Can you describe the paranoia when you had it?

1:17:42 Caller Yeah, I had paranoia. And actually, I kind of have another question. It's about like I've been hallucinating.

1:17:47 Adam Has everyone ever satisfied you with the description of anything?

1:17:49 Drew Not tonight.

1:17:50 Adam All right. Well, not any night.

1:17:52 Drew Not any night. You're right.

1:17:53 Adam Have you ever on the show told said someone? Yeah. And tell us, tell us how that made you feel. Had him give you an answer?

1:17:59 Drew No.

1:17:59 Adam No. Well, stop it then.

1:18:00 Drew No, I'm going to keep trying.

1:18:01 Adam Whose fault is it?

1:18:02 Drew I'm going to keep trying.

1:18:03 Adam All right. She's got another question. Wait, this is enough questions, Sarah. We spent enough time with you. What are you doing for your sobriety?

1:18:12 Caller Well, I'm going to start going to classes again. I actually got out of treatment early. I just-

1:18:16 Drew Classes? You don't have a sponsor right now?

1:18:18 Caller No, I don't.

1:18:21 Adam Drew's got a puss on.

1:18:22 Caller I know.

1:18:23 Adam Sarah, you got to get back in.

1:18:25 Caller Yeah. Next week, I'm actually going to start going to NA meetings and stuff.

1:18:29 Drew Yeah. Get yourself a sponsor immediately. Immediately.

1:18:32 Adam All right.

1:18:33 Drew All right. Thank you.

1:18:34 Caller Thank you.

1:18:35 Adam I have a good time.

1:18:36 Drew Classes.

1:18:37 Adam What classes?

1:18:38 Drew She just doesn't understand the process.

1:18:40 Caller Is that like at a junior college?

1:18:41 Drew Not a good sign.

1:18:44 Best Of You know what? It's a huge deal. You know, it's.

1:18:47 Caller Yeah.

1:18:48 Best Of I don't even recommend people who don't know.

1:18:52 Drew About speed?

1:18:52 Best Of Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's horrible. I didn't know.

1:18:55 Adam It's insidious. I don't know. To me, they're happy drugs and then they're bad drugs. And the speed is a bad one. I like the happy ones.

1:19:04 Drew The speed. Yeah. Me too. Even if you're using it three times a week, you can be addicted. It can change your thinking. It can damage your brain.

1:19:10 Best Of I think they should actually make classes about that in high school. I think they should make classes to make that more known that that's that addictive.

1:19:17 Adam Well, but then what about my cooking, sewing and horticulture classes?

1:19:22 Drew Horseradish classes.

1:19:23 Adam And then my, oh, my cell is a ceramics major. How? I had to make a pinch pot ashtray. Are you kidding? These are, these are the important life decisions. Do you go coil pot or do you go slab pot? Do you fire in a kiln or do you use the riku firing method? Felspar? Whether it's felspar.

1:19:43 Caller These are the things we learn on our love lines.

1:19:45 Caller I'm an expert in ceramics.

1:19:46 Adam Do you realize what that's, you know how much money I've made off my ceramics? Zero. No. Zero.

1:19:52 Drew Impossible. I'm shocked.

1:19:54 Adam I'll tell you the only thing it's done. My wife went down to that Color Me Mine place and made me an ashtray and all I did was critique it. You call that an ashtray? What did you do? Was that a pinch? Pinch ashtray? That sucks. What kind of glaze were you using? This wasn't fired at the right temperature. Take it back. It's really almost cost me my relationship. That's all. I just become critical of other people's ceramic work. I do nothing myself.

1:20:18 Best Of Have you ever been to Color Me Mine?

1:20:20 Adam No. I've walked, Pat, I've walked that, by the way, these are these places where you can buy it.

1:20:26 Best Of Tell them what you do.

1:20:28 Adam It's really, it's the equivalent of a dog park for people. Like you can go around and sniff people's ass and work with something and then fire something and then leave with it. You get to work with clay in a supervised environment.

1:20:40 Drew We don't work with the clay. It's all made pre-made. You just paint it.

1:20:43 Adam Well, that one you paint. I think this one, once in a while they give you a hump of clay and there's places where you get to actually do something. But I pass these places and I go, how do they stay in business? How many of those ceramic clowns can you sell? It's like, well, the clown is four bucks and then the glaze is 350 and then it's eight bucks. Still, how many of those you got to move to make a business go here? I'm not sure if they're around, as a matter of fact, anymore. But anyway, I was a ceramics major in high school. I just think, you know, we sit around and do the show and we think about all the things that they don't prepare you for. Meanwhile, they're busy filling your head with nonsense. I know how to make Pillsbury Parmesan popovers, by the way, from my junior high cooking class.

1:21:33 Caller Very creative.

1:21:34 Adam I made a pillowcase in my sewing class. Like I'm sewing now. Please, forcing guys to do this nonsense too. How dare you?

1:21:42 Caller It's disgusting. Let's get to the next caller.

1:21:45 Adam Let's get. You're right.

1:21:46 Caller Next caller.

1:21:47 Adam You're right. Heather? Yeah. I'm going to go back and sue the LA Unified School District. Yeah. I'm telling you. Here's how it's going to work. My lawyer is going to pull down a map of the United States and he's going to go, Adam, find California. I'm going to walk up and point at Montana. I go, and he's just go, we rest our case, we rest. Your honor, we rest. He's a complete imbecile.

1:22:12 Caller Heather, you're on the line. Hello. How are you doing?

1:22:16 Fine.

1:22:17 Adam Who fought in the Civil War, Adam? Good guys and bad guys? I don't know. One group dudes like the black guys. I know that much.

1:22:27 Drew One guy look like Colonel Sanders.

1:22:29 Yeah.

1:22:30 Adam The other dudes look like Colonel Sanders. Heather.

1:22:34 Yeah.

1:22:35 Adam You're 21.

1:22:36 Caller Yes.

1:22:37 Adam What's up?

1:22:38 Caller Got a question for you. All right. I've been having sex since I was 17. Been with a few people and never in any of the times I've had sex have I ever had an orgasm during sex. I'm curious, what can I do myself to make myself have an orgasm during sex?

1:22:56 Caller Well, there's this adult bookstore on Colorado Boulevard in Pasadena, which...

1:23:02 Adam She's calling from San Diego.

1:23:03 Caller Oh, okay. Well, take a trip to Pasadena. I don't even know where that is. There's this adult bookstore and they have many, many toys that you could play with.

1:23:13 Adam Yeah. How about a toy?

1:23:15 Caller What I'm wondering is, is there any way that I can do it by having sex? I've tried toys and oral sex and all that works, but I'm wondering if sex can...

1:23:24 Drew You mean during... You want to have an orgasm during intercourse? Yes.

1:23:28 Best Of I think it's more of a mental thing.

1:23:30 Drew Many women can't do that.

1:23:32 Caller I mean, there's nothing I can do to make it happen.

1:23:35 Drew Well, ask Fergie as a...

1:23:38 Caller Fergie, what's up?

1:23:39 Best Of Well, I mean, I just think, you know, from experience, I think it's more mental, and I think that it's a very personal thing, and when you have an orgasm, it's very personal, and women are...

1:23:50 Drew But she has them with oral sex, but she wants to have it with intercourse.

1:23:52 Best Of Yeah. I think that it's... Because I used to be like that as well, and I think that it's just about letting go and being able to accept certain things while you're in the presence of another person.

1:24:03 Adam I was just thinking, guys don't have personal orgasm. We got orgasm, like, hey, you want some? There you go. There you go. That's some for you. You got any friends want some? I don't need it. I'm done with it. Like, very personal. Drew, is there a guy ever been born and said, yeah, my orgasms are very personal?

1:24:24 Drew We don't know what they're talking about. We hear like the music starts playing. I mean, they said when I'm talking like that.

1:24:29 Adam Well, yeah, here's the thing, though. Heather, you're having an orgasm through oral sex, though. Right.

1:24:35 Caller Any other time I could, like, even like play with myself, I can have an orgasm.

1:24:40 Adam Butterfingers. You're 21s. You're head of the game.

1:24:43 Drew Yeah.

1:24:44 Caller Yeah.

1:24:45 Adam Okay. So first off, focus on what you do have.

1:24:49 Drew Okay.

1:24:49 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:24:50 Drew Perfect.

1:24:50 Adam That's not what you don't have. No, you got that part down. What I'm saying is don't feel like you're you're you're cheated. Here's what I'm saying. You're a person that's driving around in a Range Rover and looking at people in Ferraris and want to know why you don't have one. Look at the guy in the Chevy Vega and appreciate your Range Rover. Do you see what I'm saying? There are many women who have have it worse. They don't have an orgasm through diddling themselves or through oral sex. They don't. They can't have one period. You're 21. You're having three different kinds of orgasm. You're just missing the, you know, the the jewel in the crown. Fine. I bet that one that one ain't ain't far away. There you go. All right. The Black Eyed Peas are here tonight.

1:25:29 Best Of Yes.

1:25:30 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little bit of a break.

1:25:33 Caller And I love that little fake applause.

1:25:35 Best Of Yeah, it was really cute.

1:25:38 Adam All right.

1:25:39 Best Of We're going to take a break.

1:25:40 Adam And we'll be right back after this.

1:25:43 Caller If you need help, hang up and then die.

1:26:02 Adam Hey, it's the Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, it's the best of Loveline. Well, we'll say goodbye to Fergie and Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas. Here's a woman who I think is an amazing talent and is the most color nutty, I'll call her colorful.

1:26:17 Drew The most colorful mom.

1:26:19 Adam Oh yeah, that's right.

1:26:20 Drew Ever.

1:26:20 Best Of How do big breasts is gray?

1:26:23 Drew There she is.

1:26:23 Adam Yeah, that's her, everybody. Welcome Macy Gray. Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Macy Gray is our guest tonight. She just woke up.

1:26:35 Caller Hello. Thank you very much.

1:26:44 Adam Christy?

1:26:45 Caller Hey.

1:26:46 Adam Hey, you're 17.

1:26:47 Caller Yeah, I am.

1:26:49 Drew What's up?

1:26:50 Caller I am just wondering if talking dirty, like during sex, is going to affect my relationship.

1:26:57 Drew You mean you needing him to do that or him needing to do that?

1:27:00 Caller No, like neither one of us really needs it. It's just something that's been lately happening probably half the time when we have sex.

1:27:06 Caller Don't look at me, don't look, don't look at me.

1:27:09 Caller I will give you something to smile about.

1:27:44 Caller Like, I don't know, just stuff like that. It's not something I would normally say. And so I don't know.

1:27:49 Drew Yeah, he needs to do that. Yeah, either one of two things, either he had some other girlfriend that needed it and taught him that's something that she liked, therefore all women like, men tend to generalize, or he needs to talk like that. Those are the only two options.

1:28:04 Adam Han, let me say this though.

1:28:06 Drew And this may get worse. You may see some smacking to follow up.

1:28:10 Adam He's 22? Here's the thing is sometimes, first off, never met a woman that didn't like just a little rough trait. Just a little. Macy's smiling.

1:28:20 Caller No, I like it.

1:28:21 Adam She likes it. Nothing too, just a little tug on the hair and a tap on the ass every once in a while. He gets your head back. Yeah, he gets the feeling you like it a little bit and that's why he's moving forward with it.

1:28:33 Drew Yeah.

1:28:34 Caller Is it going to have any negative effect on our every day relationship?

1:28:38 Drew The only way it would is if you really start, if this is the beginning of a path that he's heading down, and if he gets into more and more fetishistic behaviors, that will diminish your intimacy and take you away from a little bit. You'll start to feel weird, but if it's just an issue of taste, so to speak, this ain't going anywhere.

1:28:58 Adam But also, it's still nice to probably break it up a little bit and leave it out every once in a while.

1:29:04 Drew I did an interesting CNN thing tonight where they have found that several or many of the firemen, the brethren, that were sort of brought in to console the widows of the fallen brethren. Guys with families and things end up picking up on these young ladies and leaving their wives.

1:29:22 Adam Really?

1:29:22 Drew Yeah.

1:29:23 Adam Wow. You mean after 9-11? Yes. That firemen who were, well, a lot of firemen came to New York from other parts of the country.

1:29:32 Drew Most of these guys were guys from the same station who were actually at the event. So they were all themselves were traumatized. It's all kinds of things going on that can cause people to do that. But not the least of which, think about what we've always said about men. This is your buddy's wife, always been kind of attracted. You know what I mean? Yeah. Now he moves in.

1:29:51 Adam It's like, what? Guys will do that. I mean, your boyfriend could kill himself in five minutes, let her guy be there like going, oh, this must be a tough time and hugging him and then trying to make out with you. The only part I like is if he is best friend, if the girl stops him when the guy goes, oh, yeah, I don't know what came over me. What was I thinking?

1:30:11 Caller I don't know what women buy that.

1:30:12 Drew I was so traumatized.

1:30:13 Adam I was traumatized, too. I was.

1:30:14 Best Of Is that from all the football, from all the physical things you made the new?

1:30:17 Drew No, guys wired in their head.

1:30:19 Adam Guys are sort of guys have a sort of physical agenda that can't really be altered by with words or or situations or events.

1:30:28 Drew Younger guys especially.

1:30:29 Adam Yeah, morning doesn't seem to be.

1:30:31 Drew But that didn't intensify.

1:30:32 Adam Most 22 year old guys, if there's a funeral goes on for more than 20 minutes, we'll get a boner at some point in the funeral. It's documented. I used a two-message monitor and realized that most guys get boners. This how guys are, Macy.

1:30:47 Best Of Oh, I'm hip.

1:30:48 Adam You're hip?

1:30:48 Best Of Yeah.

1:30:48 Adam Yeah, you know. Are you married?

1:30:50 Best Of I was.

1:30:51 Adam Yeah. So you know how guys are.

1:30:54 Best Of Women are the same way.

1:30:55 Caller We just don't talk about it like that. We don't admit to it.

1:30:58 Adam Oh, really?

1:30:59 Drew Yeah, we don't say it.

1:31:00 Best Of Women get boners at funerals.

1:31:02 Caller We don't say things like that.

1:31:03 Caller Really?

1:31:04 Drew But women, they...

1:31:06 Adam I was suspected they got boners at funerals.

1:31:08 Drew It seems that they reserve this sort of behavior for just certain men. Yeah.

1:31:13 Adam You mean the naughty behavior?

1:31:15 Drew Not even naughty, but sort of where they can't control themselves, the behavior that men fall victim to?

1:31:20 Adam Yeah. There's a handful of guys that women will present themselves to. And then the rest have to just sort of slug it out in the trenches.

1:31:27 Caller Well, it's just chemistry.

1:31:28 Caller There's like a certain guy you do everything with, you know?

1:31:32 Adam Yeah. Well, you see, women say that. They go, I have chemistry with this one guy. You and every other broad, you know, has chemistry with this one guy. So I don't know what it is that he's putting out that works in the chemistry department. And also he knows how to move his cohunga.

1:31:49 Drew No, they don't know that.

1:31:50 Adam I know that in advance. No, you know it then you know it when he's on top of you. But how do you know when you're at the club at the funeral or at the funeral?

1:31:58 Caller No, it's like eye contact, it's like.

1:32:01 Best Of Yeah, but like subtle evidence that I mean, it's the guy like you can't say in private.

1:32:08 Adam I gotta get, I gotta rub some stink on me or something.

1:32:10 Drew It's pheromones.

1:32:11 Adam I believe I'm a guy, I get punished.

1:32:13 Drew For the rest of the guys?

1:32:14 Adam Well, you know the guys, those guys you assume, the women just assume are better than they are and they all get with him and all that kind of stuff and he's probably no different than, and then there's the guys that are where they're at and then the guys that women assume are worse than they actually are.

1:32:26 Drew You're the worst.

1:32:27 Adam I'm the worst one.

1:32:28 Drew Napoleon was sort of apparently like. What? Not good.

1:32:32 Adam Not good in the sack? How do you know?

1:32:34 Drew I just read a medical thing about him.

1:32:37 Adam Oh, what do you know?

1:32:39 Drew All the women complained.

1:32:40 Adam He had his hand tucked in his jacket. He wore that crazy hat.

1:32:44 Drew No, he ejaculated too quickly. He didn't give a rat's ass what was happening with women. And at his autopsy, there was some anatomical deficiencies.

1:32:53 Adam Wow.

1:32:54 Drew Yeah.

1:32:54 Caller All right.

1:32:55 Drew But they but they still presented them. You know what I'm saying?

1:32:57 Caller Yeah.

1:32:58 Adam Well, he was a snappy dresser and he was, you know, conquering Europe.

1:33:03 Best Of That's sexy.

1:33:05 Adam Women, women, women like square buckles on a guy's shoes and a front girl, a hat that's shaped like the roof of Taco Bell and and conquering Europe.

1:33:17 Drew That's a good time.

1:33:18 Caller Conquering Europe.

1:33:19 Adam That's good, too, right?

1:33:21 Best Of Yeah, that's sexy.

1:33:22 Adam Yeah.

1:33:22 Caller Well, guys, as you come, you go up to the ground and say, I conquered Europe.

1:33:26 Adam Right.

1:33:26 Caller I guarantee.

1:33:27 Adam Yeah. All right. Here I say I haven't I don't want to jinx it. I haven't conquered Europe, but I'm conquering Europe.

1:33:34 Best Of I always say you did it already.

1:33:35 Adam All right. We're going to take a quick break.

1:33:37 Caller All right, guys. Here's the deal. Look in the hookup.

1:33:39 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:40 Caller It's a waste of time with the wrong person. Call the Dateline.

1:33:43 Caller One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

1:33:51 Caller If you need help, call Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:34:03 Adam Well, that's the show. I want to thank Jenna Jameson and Dax Shepard, Seth Green, Huba Stank, The Offspring, Black Eyed Peas, Macy Gray. Wow, what a show.

1:34:12 Drew Good show.

1:34:13 Adam So, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:34:19 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:34:23 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, December 23, 2004