Episode 1000662807564

5:05 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

5:13 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

5:16 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

5:18 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

5:29 Voiceover Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. And tonight we have the host. I was going to say cast, but the host and cast of Extra. Dayna Devon and Mark McGrath are both here. Nice to see you. We've never met, have we?

5:51 Guest No, we haven't. I've met Drew. I mean, doctor. The doctor. The doctor is in. But I've not met you.

5:59 Adam Where did you meet Dr. Drew?

6:00 Guest He was at Extra.

6:01 Drew Remember? He's an alumni. What about a blank? I did some work over there?

6:04 Guest Which is interesting, actually.

6:05 Guest Yeah.

6:05 Guest Because as I was coming here today, I got a lot of messages about how you were actually not a fan of Extra.

6:13 Adam That's true.

6:14 Drew I'm not a fan of those kinds of television.

6:17 Guest Those kinds.

6:18 Drew That genre.

6:19 Guest Right. And also, Adam, if I might, that you weren't actually a fan of the spelling of my name. We're just going to start right off, aren't we?

6:29 Adam Well, let's get into that for a second.

6:31 Guest Right, let's do that.

6:32 Adam The ridiculous Dayna, D-A-Y-N-A. I know. But you can change it. You should change it. Because here's the thing. It doesn't, first off, everyone has to take a hiccup before it comes out of their mouth if they're reading it.

6:45 Guest Right.

6:45 Drew What name is that? Dayna? Dayna?

6:50 Adam There's just a heartbeat before you screw it up. And then, the other part is, I find it passive aggressive by appearance.

6:58 Drew I think they're effing with the word.

7:01 Adam It's an attack. It's not passive. It's just aggressive. Is there someone in the family who spells it?

7:07 Guest No, no. I don't know why they did it, actually. It's really annoying because of that, what you just said, Dania, Donia, Dineshia, you know, whatever. It's never, nobody ever gets it right. And it's really very simple. Day-na. Day-na.

7:20 Adam Yeah. Well, no, it's spelled like I would have spelled it in the third grade. I want to say third grade. Let's make it the eleventh grade. I'm good at these things. And Mark McGrath, I watch your show, by the way.

7:35 Guest It's your guilty pleasure.

7:37 Adam You heard that. And I don't mean guilty pleasure like, you know, I like the main line, a little heroin everyone. That's your usual guilty pleasure. I want to see, you know, Julius twins and. You know the names? Yeah. Go ahead. What do you think about that?

7:54 Guest What are their names?

7:54 Adam All right. I'll tell you.

7:55 Guest I'll tell you.

7:56 Adam I'll tell you what's funny.

7:57 Guest Speaking of manlining heroin.

7:59 Adam Here's the reason why I know one of their names is Phineas and the other's name is like.

8:04 Guest Hazel.

8:05 Adam Madge Hazel.

8:06 Guest Right.

8:06 Adam OK. I have a nephew named Finn and I think his name is Phineas, but I'm not always been scared to ask my sister. It's one of those things where you know, when you meet someone at the party and then you see there's a window closes where you can't ask him again what it is when they're relatives.

8:21 Guest You really can't pipe up.

8:23 Adam He's between, he's between 3 and 19. I think I'm either going to give him a big wheel or a Corvette this year, I'm not sure.

8:34 Guest Finn drives a Corvette for sure.

8:36 Adam Finn is probably, I think he's five. He's five and his name is Finn and you know, my sister's all artsy fartsy and everything, but we're at Kimmel all day today with the riders and we're all first, first, you know, like at the riders table is look at these crazy names that, you know, Julie Roberts gave her kids names. Oh, Finn, what a man's kicking he's going to get and I'm like, Adam, ridiculous, am I right? And I'm just sitting there waiting for someone to pipe up, but no one seems to have known and then I don't know whether to say anything or not and they're all laughing and he's going to be gay and what kind of ridiculous parent would name their kid. Talk about precocious. She should be sued.

9:15 Guest I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, Phineas is a classic name, what is it, The Catcher in the Rye?

9:20 Guest Is that what you're asking me?

9:21 Guest Well, you actually are very well read.

9:23 Guest Judy Blume.

9:23 Guest Isn't it from The Catcher in the Rye or something? Wasn't there Phineas?

9:26 Guest No, there is some.

9:27 Guest It's a kind of a classic name, but Hazel, I'm losing.

9:30 Guest Is it Hazel?

9:31 Guest Right on the heels of Apple, which I'm still not okay with.

9:34 Guest Well, I'm so anti when like parents try to make themselves look cool and name their kids something. I mean, give the kid a chance, hard enough.

9:40 Guest Right.

9:40 Guest Yeah.

9:41 Adam No, I agree.

9:42 Guest I agree.

9:44 Adam You're just Drew, right? Or what was your real first name? Who's the doctor?

9:46 Drew David Drew.

9:47 Adam David. See, name your kid David.

9:48 Guest That's like a soap star's name.

9:50 Adam Let the chips fall where they may. Right. Just call him David. He's going to sink or swim with David. We're not going to help it. He's not doing anything with David. And by the way, David's, I don't care.

10:02 I don't know.

10:03 Adam Look, we're not going to talk that much.

10:04 Guest I'm going to call him boy.

10:06 Guest Adam, do you have kids?

10:10 Adam No, I don't.

10:11 Drew Oh, we're waiting for that moment.

10:18 Guest We're waiting.

10:19 Guest Yeah, but I've been working on it.

10:20 Adam I've been thinking about names like, you know, because you got to factor in the last name, like they don't factor in the last name. You got Corolla. What about Clutch Corolla?

10:29 Guest It's a foreign name.

10:31 Adam Clutch is a strong name.

10:32 Guest Clutch is cool.

10:34 Drew Cargo.

10:35 Adam Clutch is Corolla. Ace Corolla. Deuce Corolla.

10:39 Drew What?

10:39 Adam Deuce?

10:40 Adam Yeah.

10:40 Guest All right.

10:41 Adam So extra, let's see, 730, right?

10:44 Guest Or seven.

10:45 Guest Seven. All right.

10:47 Adam So wait, when does Pat O'Brien come on?

10:49 Guest He's on a different thing now, because remember he moved over to the insider.

10:53 Adam I know, but he moved over, but then he's still somewhere else. What's going on with him? By the way, I want half as much Pat O'Brien, not twice as much Pat O'Brien. I like him and I want half as much of him. Then someone should have said, no, no, you misunderstood Pat, we had it in less. We had an ass full of you six months ago. We're looking to reel it in just a little bit, we're looking to expand. Yeah, who decided he could franchise this way? We didn't like the first doughnut shop he was running, we can't open another one. What is he on? Five channels now?

11:26 Guest He's on one, actually, but he's just really prominent.

11:29 Adam Well, someone needs to tell him to slow down a little. Hey, old man, slow down, yeah, wait a minute, Sugar Ray needs another lead singer, don't they?

11:39 Guest Yeah, he plays keyboards, man.

11:40 Adam Oh, you know how you know, he does a 20 minute segment on it every night.

11:43 Guest I know, it's like, hey look, a piano. No way, Brad Garrett, there's a piano in your house.

11:51 Adam Yeah, I don't like that show, screw that show, Actress, Actress is the show I watch. Seven o'clock, and it's doing well, right? Does it matter, can they ever take them away, I mean, can it go away, can't it?

12:03 Guest You know, now, especially now that there's four, yeah, I mean, there's four, so you only, you figure there's a pie, there's only so much to go around, you know, you never know when it's going to stop. But right now, I mean, we have an insatiable, as a society, appetite for, for entertainment. If you look at like, Us Weekly didn't used to be an entertainment magazine, remember?

12:21 Adam What was it?

12:22 Guest It was kind of like a, yeah, it was kind of like a, like a World News Tonight slash Life magazine. Remember that? That wasn't too long ago.

12:30 Adam And they start making the, and then now we have InStyle, what was the other one?

12:37 Guest There's InStyle. Star. Star, but there's another one. But anyway, there's a ton of them that these are just recent, like in the last three year magazines.

12:45 Adam And, and Drew, you're here now. Oh, in touch.

12:47 Guest In touch, thank you. Excuse for a second.

12:49 Adam It is, so what's the schedule? Oh, but by the way, though, now extra is 11 season because I remember there was sort of the new kid on the block. I mean, it's the entertainment tonight was the perennial and then extra feels like a not brand new, but well, they came around after.

13:06 Guest I remember that too.

13:07 Adam You know, now what were you doing when they hit?

13:09 Guest I was in college.

13:10 Adam Who was the that's a good answer, by the way. It's bad when you know, you'd say like, I was just playing catch with my grandson and I got the call 11 years ago. You're in college. Good. That's right. Where'd you go to college?

13:24 Guest I went to the illustrious Texas Tech University. Go Red Raiders.

13:29 Adam Red Raiders, a great name because.

13:31 Guest Bobby Knight.

13:32 Adam Raiders alone would have been enough.

13:33 Guest Not really known for their academic achievements, though. Let's just be honest.

13:35 Adam Yeah, but that's all. Are we a journalism major?

13:38 Guest No. No.

13:39 Guest What was your major?

13:41 Adam What are we hearing?

13:41 Guest It was English, which is frightening.

13:42 Adam Hold on. We're hearing a crazy echo.

13:44 Guest I can throw my voice.

13:46 Drew I think Dayna's doing it.

13:47 Adam Oh, really?

13:48 Drew Yeah. The devil's speaking through her. There's some crazy...

13:51 Guest The devil's speaking through her.

13:53 Drew Did you hear that? It's a crazy echo sometimes.

13:55 Adam Yeah, I do hear a crazy echo. Engineer Chris has snapped into action. He's taking a leak.

14:02 Guest I mean, it was a blur. Seriously, like, I could barely see him.

14:05 Guest He kept calling me.

14:05 I don't know if you guys noticed it, but he was calling me on air, and he was trying to, like, whisper in the corner, and I said, dude, leave the room and call me.

14:10 Drew And that's what we were hearing?

14:12 Guest No, no.

14:12 Apparently, you guys got a problem, and we're trying to figure out how we'll be able to fix it.

14:15 Adam He was calling him on air.

14:16 Drew I wonder if we were picking up his voice, talking to him.

14:18 Adam No, we're hearing an echo.

14:20 Guest You know, when I was telling people today that I was coming on this, I should probably not hit my microphone with my fist.

14:25 Drew No, that's part of the show.

14:26 Guest When I was telling people, I was telling people that so many people are so excited about the show. I had no idea, because I'm usually in bed by now.

14:34 Adam Is the same guy ratted me and Drew out, by the way?

14:38 Guest I have his number, actually, Adam Bernstein. He's so excited about this. He listens every night because, you know, it's 10 o'clock is my bedtime.

14:45 Drew He had a little critique of the various games we play.

14:47 Guest Yeah, I have a message to play for you, if we can get it, but...

14:49 Drew Anderson, were you able to get that?

14:52 Adam He likes or he doesn't like...

14:54 Guest He used to like something joke game or joke or something, Dr. Drew's jokes or something. Is that right?

14:59 Drew Well, back on television.

15:00 Adam Oh, yeah, that's right.

15:01 Guest He liked that, but he does not like a new game.

15:04 Drew He does like the Ranchero Castle.

15:05 Guest He does not like Ranchero.

15:07 Adam All right, well, now we're going to have to play it. You guys are going to love Aces Mexican Ranchero, according to Countdown, by the way. And I predict it may even weave its way into action. And Mark was on location in England, by the way. No, wait. Yes. Yes. That was last week.

15:26 Guest Yeah, it was two weeks ago. Yeah, two weeks ago. It was two weeks ago, right? Yeah, that's cool.

15:34 Guest He's hanging out with Shania Twain.

15:36 Adam In England. Oh, was she doing a play? What was going on?

15:39 Guest No, no. Actually, I interviewed Kristen Slater, who's doing a play over there. He's doing one who flew over the cuckoo's nest doing the Jack Nicholson role.

15:45 Guest Maybe I was Phineas. Maybe, yeah.

15:48 Guest I don't even know who I'm talking to anymore.

15:49 Drew Phineas Fogg.

15:50 Adam Yes.

15:51 Drew Around the world in 80 days, right?

15:55 Guest That's why he's the doctor.

15:57 Adam Yeah, huge Jackie Chan fan. All right. So what are we doing? We're going to take some calls. We've got to wait for Chris to get back. Brandi? Hello? He's 24. What's up?

16:12 Oh, not much.

16:14 Adam All right.

16:14 Sit around.

16:16 Drew Here we go, Brandi. Break it down. Come on. Here we go.

16:20 Guest Get a hand in. Here we go now. Let's go now.

16:23 All right. Well, I've got this guy that I like and I've been interested in him for a couple of years and we've been friends and we've just recently started hanging out and getting to know each other and, you know, I've decided that...

16:41 Drew Brandy, Brandy, Brandy, Brandy. What's the question? What is the question?

16:46 Caller Well, basically I'm really interested in this guy and I want to, you know, sleep with him and all that kind of stuff, but I don't know how to let him know that I want to do that without making myself sound like a total slut.

16:58 Drew Okay. There are going to be two approaches to this. First of all, we're going to let Dayna approach this and then we're going to tell you the actuality of your situation.

17:04 Guest Well, okay, I'm so glad you let me handle this because I just read the book, He's Just Not That Into You. If he wanted to sleep with you, he'd be sleeping with you.

17:12 Drew Correct.

17:12 Guest Guys don't care about a friendship. They are not like ever keeping it in their pants because they want to save a friendship.

17:20 Drew If he was actually interested in this with you, it would be like trying to hold back a freight train.

17:25 Guest Yeah.

17:25 Drew That's it.

17:26 Guest I completely agree.

17:26 Drew Otherwise, you can't turn a guy into that guy. What? He's either in or out.

17:31 Guest It's not even a debate.

17:32 Drew By the way, how did Dayna know that? She's the best. She's cracked the code.

17:35 Adam She's a red raider.

17:39 Guest Do you know what Mark said to me the other day?

17:41 Guest It was the greatest thing. He said, you know what the difference is between women and men? And I was like, no, what? And he said, if a woman's not into a guy, she could care less. It doesn't matter what he does, if he's trying to cool, whatever, she could care less. But even if a guy's not into a girl, he still wants to see a naked part of her. If a boob accidentally comes out, he still wants to see naked boob or whatever.

18:01 Guest Stay in the obvious, stay in the obvious.

18:03 Guest But women will just turn away from it.

18:06 Adam I will lay down some sack every once in a while at the workplace because I will wear like a dolphin short, I'll wear running type short with no underpants. This is summer, summer, fall and sometimes spring, but rarely winter unless it's a warm winter like we're having.

18:26 Guest I'm glad to know you're being aerated.

18:28 Adam I will aerate and women, I've seen women where the vomit came out of their nostrils. They put their hand over their mouth and it comes shooting out of their nostrils. And I fear if they plug their nose, it'll come out of their ears and come out of their eyes.

18:41 Guest And then there's a real medical situation.

18:43 Adam Women are grossed out. The ugliest chick in the office, if a little nipple was hanging out on the side of the bra, it would draw a crowd, whereas women would be grossed out.

18:52 Drew The biggest example of that though is a woman who's already been with a guy, they dated for a while, they slept together, and she comes to her sense and goes, oh, this isn't working, and then looks back and when she talks to her friends about having been with that guy, she's like, huh! Yeah, she shudders.

19:06 Guest Oh yeah, it's a physical fringing.

19:08 Drew The guy would come around another round, come around, come around.

19:11 Adam I've induced the shiver a few times, like, what was I thinking, kind of, oh, there's no loofah big enough to clean it. Take that rape bath they do in the movie, I just cry, I want to crawl out of my skin and send it out.

19:28 Drew So Brandy, there's really, unfortunately, nothing you can do. The only thing you can do here is if you sort of make your wish to be known, he will sleep with you, but it will not be a relationship, he will not be coming back. And if he is in, he'd already be in, so to speak.

19:42 Caller Yeah, well, I don't know, we've talked about it, we've actually even agreed that we want to be like friends with benefits and all that kind of stuff, but...

19:48 Drew Yeah, but Brandy, friends with benefits for a guy, I'm telling you...

19:51 Guest You cash that in immediately.

19:52 Drew That is a friend, that will never go anywhere else than friends with benefits. And if that's okay with you, fine, but I'm picking up that you're into this guy. And I don't think you're... Brandy, be honest with yourself, for crying out loud, be honest. Don't do that to yourself.

20:07 Caller If that's all he wants it to be, then that's fine, but if he wants it all...

20:10 Guest He wants a friend, a sleeping buddy, you know.

20:13 Drew And that's it. And that's not all you want it to be, and you're taking that because that's all you're going to get. And that's really setting yourself short.

20:19 Adam When did this... I was just saying, like, in our society, when did this, like, look, if he wants to, you know, if he wants to see other people, then that's fine, or if that's all he just wants to hump on, that's fine.

20:27 Drew When do women decide they're going to take that as, yeah, why is that okay?

20:31 Guest People always say that, but it never works.

20:33 Drew But they settle for that. Women do that all the time. It drives me insane.

20:36 Caller Dayna doesn't settle.

20:37 Adam Of course not.

20:38 Caller You don't settle for that.

20:39 Adam No.

20:39 Guest I don't even think dating works.

20:42 Guest What? No, yeah.

20:43 Adam You don't settle.

20:43 Guest I don't think dating even really works in our society, because generally people go out with somebody like three times and they maybe sleep with them. Isn't that about what you think is probably three dates and they're sleeping together? And so you can't...

20:54 Guest The 50s, maybe.

20:56 Guest To me, it's about what they...

20:58 Guest I'm saying at the latest. Right?

21:00 Adam Well, if they order the Surf and Turf, you know you should get it earlier.

21:04 Guest The Surf and Turf, yeah. You are funny.

21:07 Adam You just want to get a dinner salad, I'll give you five, but you're going Surf and Turf.

21:13 Guest So you can't really be dating... Like, you know how people are like, oh, I'm just dating around. You can't be really dating three dates with this guy and then dating three dates with this guy, because then you're sleeping with everyone. So you can't do that. So it doesn't really work anymore.

21:24 Drew But you know what? The reality is there should be more dating. There should be dating as a procedure of assessment. Of assessment. Just as you figure out what the hell you want, who you want, how do you want it for that. I know, Mark, you can't wait past the first handshake. But the fact is...

21:38 Guest I want to roll the dice, Dr. Drew. We've all been there. Let's wrap it up and have some fun.

21:44 Adam It's an interesting point, which is if dating is made for a society that doesn't sleep together for a few months. Right. If everyone's going to hop on, you know, get Mark's bus with him, or as you say, now dressing room with him after 10 minutes.

21:59 Drew Office is an office.

22:01 Adam Yeah, he gives her some Mike and Ike's. That's enough to lure her back to the dressing room. That's fine. All I'm saying is that you can't date because then everyone's just spreading venereal disease at this point.

22:14 Drew But I think, though, if women who have all the power.

22:17 Guest Yeah, they are the gatekeepers.

22:20 Drew If they would just put the brakes on a little bit and just ask for some sort of procedural assessment, even five dates, because you may not go to that fifth date before you sleep. You may have four. Four dates is plenty to know that you want to go on a date with somebody else. Then you could date.

22:35 Guest Right.

22:36 Drew And the fact that it's three, that's really the problem, isn't it?

22:38 Guest It is.

22:38 Drew It's really the problem.

22:39 Guest That's the number.

22:40 Drew It's one to three.

22:42 Guest Three is the panic.

22:42 Adam Well, Drew, now that we're married, let's just get jacked up.

22:45 Guest The women panic. The guys panic. It's like, what's going on here?

22:47 Drew Now let's screw it up for the rest of the kids. Sure, of course.

22:50 Guest You need a Starbucks card to punch. All right.

22:52 Drew One more call, and then some Ranchero.

22:55 Adam Hey, Chris, how are you doing there with the Ranchero music? Feeling good? Pretty good, man. Pretty good?

23:02 Good. Maria?

23:04 Adam 22? What's up?

23:07 Caller Well, I know females can have multiple orgasms. I was wondering how likely it is that males do it.

23:15 Drew Men do not actually have multiple orgasms. Once they go into... Well, once they go into a... You can have two sort of little peaks. I've never had more than one. Yeah, but once you go into refractory, that's why it's called refractory. That means you can't. By definition, you can't. You know, guys can have this sort of, kind of a bi, you know, sort of a dual peak thing in one, but it's really one. It's really one.

23:36 Guest Who are these liars, Dr. Drew, out there?

23:38 Drew Like Stang, who's telling us that you can...

23:40 Guest Yeah, nine hours of tantric...

23:41 Drew Oh, what is that? It's all BS. Delaying ejaculation for nine hours.

23:47 Guest Who wants that anyway? That sounds like work to me.

23:49 Adam By the way...

23:50 Guest Yeah, you're exhausting, it would just be exhausting.

23:52 Guest I've already worked eight hours, I don't want to, you know... I need my two minutes in the sports center.

23:58 Adam You've been married since Zumblata and Nimbata, whatever that...

24:02 Guest Atlantis de Amor.

24:03 Adam You've been on the same chip for 20 years. How about rolling it back to seven hours? Really? Your kids have to sit outside the room and listen to that for nine hours. I got a question for daddy. Don't knock, let him finish. Calendar pages blowing by.

24:21 Guest Got any other songs?

24:23 Adam Math homework.

24:24 Guest You know, once you hear this stuff about people, though, like I listen to his music now and I'm like, ugh, that's all I can think about. Thank you.

24:30 Drew That's good.

24:30 Guest And there's rumors, and I don't know if these are substantiated, that they go to some sex clubs and he's out naked, you know, having sex with someone right in front of Trudy, you know?

24:38 Drew That's hell.

24:39 Guest Rock and roll, baby.

24:39 Guest All I hear in his music is thinking of him in a sex club.

24:43 Drew Yeah, there you go.

24:44 Guest Fields of Gold has a different meaning now, doesn't it?

24:49 Drew You're going to do it. No, I'm just saying, I don't see a big difference between that behavior and the other one. It's all sort of compulsive sexual acting out and stuff.

24:58 Adam So, the guys, I mean, the guys' version, what's the closest the guy will come to a multiple orgasm?

25:05 Drew There's two versions. One is they can have like a double peak in one, but it's really just one. It's like a stall, right? It's a little stall. It's like a comma. They can do that.

25:17 Adam A little rogue robe comes out at the end. And if you're 18, it's just like, that's it. Oh, there's Loveline.

25:26 Drew And then they're done.

25:26 Guest They open their eyes again.

25:28 Drew And if you're 18, sometimes your refractory period is like 12 minutes as opposed to, or a whole year. And where, you know?

25:34 Guest Right.

25:35 Drew Refractory period?

25:37 Guest Three days.

25:37 Adam Well, I'm going on month three.

25:38 Guest Month three. That's good.

25:41 Drew It's like a lunar calendar.

25:43 Guest Have you ever heard of something where there's like a delayed stall and there's a non-ejaculation?

25:48 Drew And then refractory.

25:49 Guest Yeah. And then you're just bummed because then your load's like locked in like the plumbing.

25:52 Drew You know, it actually is an induced refractory state.

25:55 Guest I don't know what that is. Am I saying that?

25:57 Drew You're refractory. Now you can't have an orgasm.

25:58 Guest Yeah. And like you're, it's almost like blocked.

26:01 Drew You're in refractory without having, actually having an ejaculation.

26:03 Guest How do you alleviate that?

26:05 Drew Time.

26:05 Guest Is that the blue thing?

26:06 Guest Oh, I don't get that.

26:07 Drew No, no. The blue thing is different. The blue thing is different.

26:10 Adam We gotta quickly get to the blue thing. Mark's not talking about a retrograde ejaculation.

26:16 Drew No, he's talking about one that sort of almost happens and then does it and then you're refractory.

26:19 Guest And then you're bombed. And then you're stuck. You know what a dog's like? It's just stuck in that and you have to pour sugar on it.

26:24 Guest Right.

26:26 Guest I got such a visual there.

26:29 Guest All right.

26:29 Guest Come to my house.

26:30 Adam Sugar.

26:30 Drew We'll explain to these guys what we're doing.

26:32 Adam I'm going to, I just want to make sure Chris is cool. I've learned from doing many years in the construction field here in Los Angeles that the ranchero music is, it's the drum. It's the beat of the drum that drives this city. The ranchero music and nothing more annoying by the way, but the accordion seems to be the backbone of the ranchero music.

26:50 Drew The turntables, if you will.

26:52 Adam And then I started to realize, I don't think I've ever heard ranchero music without a blaring obnoxious accordion in the middle of it. And then I started playing this game at the office over at JKL where we just turn it on and see how long it takes for we hear accordion and that turned into an easy ranchero accordion test. So, Drew, why don't you get things started tonight and tell us what you think.

27:15 Drew Four seconds.

27:16 Adam Four seconds. Now, this is a random ranchero song. Engineer Chris is going to turn it up, not at the beginning, but just in a random spot of a random ranchero song. Drew says four seconds.

27:27 Guest What's the record?

27:29 Adam Well, once in a blue moon, there's no accordion. No accordion.

27:33 Drew That's shocking, we're blown away.

27:34 Adam Oftentimes it's immediate.

27:36 Drew Usually, man, immediate to three is the average, but sometimes it goes eight to twelve.

27:39 Guest And there's the refractory.

27:41 Drew There's the refractory.

27:43 Guest What's the name of the group here? Because I'm kind of, you know, you know, you're in.

27:46 Adam Dayna, what do you have?

27:48 Guest I'm going to go two.

27:49 All right.

27:49 Adam Two seconds.

27:50 Guest That seems like safe.

27:51 Mark?

27:51 Guest I'm going to go eight. I'm feeling zany. We're going to have a bridge or something.

27:56 All right.

27:56 Adam I'm going immediate.

27:58 Guest All right.

27:59 Drew Perfect.

27:59 Guest All right. I'm going to lose, aren't I?

28:01 Adam We've got four to go.

28:03 Guest I'm going to go immediate.

28:04 Drew All right.

28:04 Adam You ready there, Rancher? Chris, hold on now.

28:06 Caller Four, three, two, one, go.

28:15 Guest You know, it is a wonder Adam Bernstein did not like this game. It's a great game. It's a great game.

28:20 Adam First off, Jews love Rancher music. That has been proven time and time again.

28:26 Drew Right.

28:26 Adam I mean, every lawyer's office, every dentist's office, Rancher music blaring.

28:31 Drew A lot of high education, the Jewish community. And nothing says New England in the winter liked this music.

28:36 Adam No, I mean, Drew, you think of your college days back, snowing, people burning.

28:40 Guest I see a lot of the Hasidic Jews over in my area, and this is the music they have.

28:44 Guest I think surfing, you know. I think surfing. By the way, the accordion hasn't stopped. Yeah. Not only is it not. It's a plan.

28:51 Adam We'll play it again. Don't worry.

28:53 Drew See, this is Rancher music.

28:54 Adam Yeah.

28:55 Drew It's some of that stuff.

28:56 Adam Well, we hear Kookie song every once in a while, but here's the thing with Rancher music. It has an incredible range about the range of a daisy air rifle.

29:08 Guest A lot of dynamics, too. What's the listener response to your game here?

29:11 Drew Well, Adam's not a fan.

29:13 Guest Adam's not a fan.

29:15 Guest It's a little personal. It's kind of a personal game.

29:18 Adam Yeah, it is.

29:19 Guest I think there's maybe two people thoroughly enjoying this.

29:21 Adam Where maybe.

29:22 Guest And that's you and I.

29:25 Adam I think we'll hear from some fans out there. The point is, there's a proud, silent majority that listens to the show. Yes, Drew?

29:33 Drew Well, Dayna has not yet been exposed to Germany or Florida.

29:35 Guest Oh, and we're going to play Germany or Florida.

29:37 Guest Oh, that's. He talked about that. I've got it. Yeah, he talked about Germany and Florida. All right.

29:41 Adam So we'll play that later tonight as well.

29:42 Guest And I was like, what is he doing? Reading a CNN headline? I didn't understand that part of the message. But now, yeah, I need to hear that.

29:47 Adam Well, we're going to shed light on everything before the night is true. Uh, Dayna Devon here tonight. Also Mark McGrath from Extra, NBC, 7 o'clock. We'll take a quick break.

29:58 Guest We'll be right back after this.

30:20 Adam Hey, buddy, it's Love Line.

30:21 Guest I'm Adam.

30:21 Adam That's Dr. Drew.

30:22 Guest For number 1-800-LOVE-191.

30:25 Adam Dayna Devon here tonight. Mark McGrath here with her from Extra, NBC, 7 o'clock. Best guilty pleasure on television, Drew.

30:33 Guest Yes, indeed.

30:34 Adam Drew can't stay in the show.

30:35 Drew I'm a big fan. No, no, not this show.

30:36 Adam Huge fan.

30:37 Guest Oh, please.

30:38 Guest But Drew, you were gonna actually work for Extra at one point, or you did?

30:41 Drew I did some stuff for a little while.

30:43 Guest What? What happened?

30:45 Drew I'm actually, no, I just, I don't have any talent for it, but I'm interested. It makes two of us.

30:50 Yeah, I'll alert you.

30:52 Adam Oh, wait a minute.

30:53 Drew I'm disturbed at the sort of the way celebrity is massaged. You know what I mean? Rather than try to dig in, who are these people? I make some, why do they need to do this? Why do they have this craziness? As opposed to, well, they're engaged in this craziness because they're trying to affect something in their career or to affect some other celebrities thinking about, no, no, no, these are people with real serious disturbances of the psyche.

31:14 Adam Well, you're saying Renell Zellweger has problems with her name is?

31:19 Drew I'm saying the people that have chaos in their relationships, as you well know.

31:22 Adam But here's the thing, you can't turn the celebrities into people, if you turn them into people, then you have no more show. And no one cares what they ate or what their dog's name is.

31:30 Guest Well, and generally speaking, the audience that you're appealing to doesn't necessarily want to get into the deep, deep. They like, they grew up on video games and they like fast and furious. And we've actually tried to slow our show down and try and get a little bit deeper, but sometimes you just, you fight that a little bit. You have a short attention span theater, you know?

31:50 Adam All right, Drew, please.

31:51 Guest You don't want to see the wizard behind the curtain, man.

31:53 Adam That's right.

31:54 Guest You know, keep the curtain closed, buddy. Wizard of Oz, baby.

31:57 Guest It's really supposed to be just fun.

31:59 Guest You know what I mean? It is.

32:00 Adam I'm not about it, Drew.

32:01 Guest Yeah.

32:01 I'm just having fun.

32:03 Drew You're right.

32:04 Can you finish this?

32:05 Guest This is too logical.

32:06 Drew I'm with it.

32:07 Caller I'm with it.

32:09 Drew So I don't not like extra. That's not it at all, because I'm against it. It's like the happiest staff on earth. I mean, it certainly is. It's a very happy place. Like a big room there where you go to hurry.

32:21 Guest Oh yeah, the purple one.

32:22 Adam You want Mark to like sit down with Liv Tyler and ask when she was molested.

32:25 Guest You're gonna start crying and stuff like that.

32:27 Drew That's what I want.

32:28 Guest That's me. Investigative journalism, that's my...

32:30 Guest I tend to like that personally. Like I like those parts of an interview more than I like anything else, but it just doesn't work in this format. There has to be a branch off if we're gonna do that. You know what I mean?

32:40 Drew I mean like a Barbara Walters style interview.

32:41 Guest Yeah, there has to be like, you have to have a separate kind of environment for that because it's not working like that. But you can touch on it, but you just kind of like walk around it, skip around it, and then you move on. You can't get real deep.

32:53 Adam Skip, skip. How long, by the way, Billy Bush, pussy, by the way, by the way, by the way. Drew doesn't even know who he is, do you, Drew? You wouldn't recognize him if you're standing in the street and walk right, bumped right in here, would you?

33:07 Guest You might, though.

33:08 Adam Doesn't know the kid.

33:10 Guest He's the nephew of Bush?

33:12 Adam Don't even know.

33:13 Drew And what happened?

33:14 Guest He's co-host of Access Hollywood. Actually, I think he's really nice.

33:17 Adam No, but no one likes him. He rubs everyone the wrong way. Guys hate him and chicks are creeped out by him.

33:24 Guest Really?

33:24 Adam Yeah, that's what I would say. Never met anyone that had a good time with him. I'll be kissing his ass once he ends Wednesday. Billy, great job. Give me some sugar. Mark, just stay with the band. Yeah, no, I agree.

33:37 Guest Mark guy's creepy, isn't he?

33:39 Guest I don't think you're creepy. Mark actually was one of the first people that we ever had.

33:42 Guest Thanks for saying that, by the way, because I wasn't even asking you, like, for real.

33:45 Guest No, I was going to tell you, though, because Mark is one of the first people that we had that came on the show that didn't offend one or the other. Like, gay men love Mark, straight men love Mark, gay and straight women love Mark. There's nobody he offends.

33:58 Guest And I love them all.

33:58 Guest You know what I mean? Right.

34:00 Guest I do offend them.

34:00 Drew Until he actually starts loving them all, then it gets a little nasty.

34:03 Guest Yeah, yeah, second date, you know. Could you wait till the third, please?

34:09 Guest Punch my card.

34:10 Adam Let's take ourselves some phone calls. Drew, watch the show, really.

34:15 Guest Tivo, Drew, you got that.

34:16 Adam All right, got it. Ashley? Year 24? What's up?

34:22 Well, I just have a question. Ever since I had my first kid, about four years ago, I've been really uncomfortable. Actually, it turns me off really bad. Whenever my husband touches me, down in my genitals or goes down on me or anything.

34:35 Guest Is it painful or just uncomfortable?

34:37 It just turns me off. It disgusts me.

34:40 Adam How about in sex, same thing?

34:42 No, sex is fine. Oh. And then I had our second kid and I breastfed him. And ever since I breastfed, I don't like my nipples being touched.

34:52 Adam Is that normal? All right, she's gonna run out of parts soon. She's gonna feel like just get a PQ tip and poker or something across the room.

34:58 Drew There's gonna be a problem when the kid starts holding her hand.

35:01 Guest That sounds psychological though.

35:02 Drew Well, I'm trying to evaluate whether this is sort of post-traumatic stress of some type or if this is some sort of biological reaction. Any way I could figure out a biological medical reason for this and I can't come up with one. So the next question is, did you have some sort of trauma growing up? Were you sexually abused or something?

35:18 Somewhat.

35:20 Drew Yeah.

35:20 Caller Oh, that's nice.

35:21 Adam Well, that's it. What happened?

35:24 Guest But why do you think the kids have to, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.

35:27 Drew It's a trigger, it's sort of a pulling. When people have post-traumatic stress, something's gotta sort of reawaken it. And so the idea of something coming out of her and then all the intimacy with the child of revokes all this crazy stuff.

35:37 Adam Plus, she was a kid when she was abused or molested or whatever it was. As a child.

35:42 Guest Did your husband know that, that you had some sexual abuse?

35:47 Adam And who did this to you? Family member?

35:49 Stepfather.

35:50 Adam Stepfather. How old were you?

35:53 It started when I was like seven. And ended when I was like, I think I was 13.

35:58 Guest What about counseling? Did you ever get any counseling?

36:00 I got some, but it just, it didn't seem to help at all.

36:04 Guest I think you guys probably need marital counseling, don't you?

36:07 Drew Well.

36:07 Everything else is fine. I mean, you know, he's okay with it, but you know, every once in a while, he slips up and tries to do something or he gets a little bit frustrated and tries to go down there and it just grosses me out.

36:16 Drew Well, but Ashley, these things don't exist.

36:17 Adam By the way, I think these are terms I could agree to in a relationship.

36:20 Guest Yeah, no kidding.

36:21 Most guys be stoked on them.

36:21 Adam There'll be no oral sex. Done and done.

36:24 Guest Darn.

36:24 Darn.

36:25 Guest Tonight was your night.

36:26 Really?

36:29 Guest Not everybody's flower full.

36:31 Drew I'm fine.

36:31 Guest Really?

36:32 Drew I'm fine with it. I'm a man here.

36:34 Adam What do you mean you're fine with it?

36:35 Guest But you'll just tolerate it. You're not into it. You just tolerate it.

36:38 Guest You seek it out?

36:39 Drew No, I don't seek it out, but I'm happy to oblige. You do what you gotta do. A little more than that. However, but Adam had a great way of- Mark? Wait, wait, wait. Me? Yeah.

36:50 Guest If there's grass in the valley.

36:52 Drew And Adam had a great way of thinking about this. Wait, wait, wait. Just looking at it as if you were an anthropologist from Mars, you're Martian and landed, and you're trying to learn about what oral sex is. Go ahead.

37:01 Adam Well, I was saying this. Women say, oh, you know, forget about what you guys do. What about what we have to do? And I, you know, comparing the two orals.

37:10 Drew Wait, wait, listen.

37:11 Adam I said, look, forget about what your sexual proclivity is. You're from another planet. You come down here. You want to bury your face on a churro or an abalone? I'm a nine out of ten Marquis.

37:24 Guest Nine out of ten Marquis.

37:28 Adam I mean, just, those are your two choices. Where are you going? Cinnamon-y, sugary, still hot.

37:35 Caller Or, or.

37:42 Drew I'm sort of, you know, I'm adventurous, I'm a scientist, I like that stuff.

37:45 Adam Yes, yes.

37:46 Drew So I'll go for the Dionysian.

37:49 Adam Yes, yes, I feel like, well, first off, Mark, you're single, right? Abalone.

37:54 Guest Yes.

37:55 Adam Okay, so you cannot ask me. What I mean is, is a single guy, you can't be yakking on the radio that you're not, that's not your cup of tea because the words are-

38:04 Guest Right, it's an act of reciprocity, isn't it? I mean, it's, you know what I mean, for a guy at least. I mean, I know all the guys dig it, but you know, it's not-

38:10 Drew They're guys that are really into it.

38:12 Guest Oh yeah, but psychotically into it.

38:14 Adam You don't want to be with that guy, by the way. That's the weirdo dude. Avoid that.

38:17 Guest Yeah, that's the guy that stares at you like-

38:18 Guest That's the guy that I was working in the mall and he would go, we'd find him back in the lingerie section of the place he would be in to the underwear.

38:25 Guest Usually has a mustache.

38:26 Drew That's even different.

38:26 Adam That's a guy that-

38:27 Guest Usually has a mustache and drives a van.

38:29 Guest I want to taste you by the river.

38:31 Guest I need to taste you.

38:32 Adam Yeah, that guy. Yeah, watch out for that guy.

38:35 Guest That is, I did not really realize. I mean, I knew there were a small part of the population that probably didn't know it.

38:40 Drew You have to use your imagination for that one to know the guys might have a little-

38:44 Adam No, you're misleading her. Here's the thing. Most guys, here's the thing about guys. We're much more flexible. We can take a punch in the stomach from one of our buddies. We can eat a sandwich that fell on the ground. You know what I mean? We just, we'll do whatever we have to do. We don't have strong feelings about it. But we're not dying to do it after, you know, year one of the relationship. We'll do it. I mean, there's a weird thing. It's like, how do you explain to someone, it's like saying someone is not smart, but that doesn't make them dumb. You know what I mean? Not to say we love it doesn't mean we hate it. It just means a gray area there. Yeah, we're ready to do it.

39:21 Drew Well, the guys grew up with no idea what that is for a woman. The guys grew up with the sense that a vagina is just an inside out penis.

39:29 Adam Right.

39:29 Drew And therefore having sex would be perfectly suitable for a woman. And the idea that it being different is something that comes much, much later.

39:36 Guest I never know what I'm doing either.

39:37 Drew It goes without saying, but.

39:39 Adam Right.

39:40 Guest Well, you know, I'm trying to be candid here, Dr. Drew. I need a kick to the nuts from you, you know what I mean?

39:45 Drew What dare you? Wait, wait, wait. Where's my anatomy book? Get the Chris anatomy book.

39:50 Guest I learned from Sam Kinnison. He said, do the alphabet with your tongue. You know what I mean? And you know.

39:55 Guest You told me that on the set.

39:56 Guest I know. And it's, I don't know.

39:58 Guest But isn't there something sexy about it? If you're really into someone, like, you're almost ingesting them. I mean, I guess you could actually are.

40:06 Drew It's in a great.

40:07 Domber over here.

40:08 Adam Red Raider.

40:15 How it happens down in Texas?

40:18 Adam You're so into them, you want to consume them.

40:20 Guest Yes.

40:20 Adam There's passion.

40:21 Guest But I guess that goes into the first year thing that you were just saying.

40:25 Drew I'm just saying. That's all the action.

40:27 Adam You give your husband a pass tomorrow night, he'll be cool with it.

40:30 Drew Perineum.

40:31 Guest What about digital manipulation?

40:32 Guest You know, my husband is a doctor and he didn't do well in the gynecology part.

40:39 Drew I'm very proud that you're bringing that up tonight.

40:40 Guest He likes it when I do that.

40:42 Adam All right, Drew, do this off the air. It's a visual thing. The point is, guys, here's the thing. Guys need to know that they should put a stronger emphasis on this than they actually do. Nobody talks about it. Everyone's talking about sex and humping and screwing and banging and all that good stuff. They never talk about-

41:02 Drew The songs aren't about this part.

41:04 Guest Nothing rhymes with Cunning Lungus.

41:09 Adam And what rhymes with Avalonis, if you think about it.

41:14 Guest But hey, there's never good communication. I've never had good communication in that sense because it's kind of awkward. You know what I'm saying? I've never had a girl go, oh, that feels great. That doesn't like guide me through this. Even with girlfriends and stuff. So I think there's a communication problem.

41:26 Adam Somebody help me.

41:27 Drew This is again, we were talking about earlier with women settling for things and not asserting.

41:31 Guest They settle on that.

41:32 Drew And men are happy to oblige if women just go, hey, hey, try this. Tell me what I'm doing.

41:37 Plus men are fine.

41:38 Adam Most the notes would be burn less calories. Reel it in a little.

41:44 Drew Try Sally.

41:45 Guest Well, actually, you know what? I think even this is not even so much an issue for women. If there was just more, it's like when you first go out, you're kissing for hours. You're kissing for so long that you've got razor burn from the guy and your lips are sore the next day. And you're like, you know what I'm saying? Then as soon as you get married, there's not that much kissing anymore. You don't even really like full mouth kiss anymore. Yeah, it becomes gross.

42:05 Guest Yeah, it's a chore.

42:07 Guest It's like there's a lot of stuff going on in a human's mouth and you just kind of get like, and as much as you don't want someone in yours, is you don't want to be in theirs.

42:15 Adam I know.

42:16 Guest But if you even just had kissing, you wouldn't even have to do that stuff as much.

42:20 Adam Me and my wife before.

42:20 Drew Wait, wait, I said that. Here's what all the guys heard. Yeah, you didn't hear what she said. That we just heard wah, wah. She said, if you kiss, you don't have to do this so much.

42:29 Guest Foreplay. In other words, slow, like, you know, take your time and then that's not even so much as an issue.

42:36 Caller I thought, don't you think?

42:37 Drew It's hard even to process that.

42:39 Guest You don't think so?

42:40 Drew No, you're probably right. It's just this how far men and women are apart.

42:43 Guest Yeah. This is so exciting to get right to it though.

42:46 Drew Yeah, but this is the point, this is all the-

42:49 Guest Communication, right?

42:50 Drew They need this other part.

42:51 Guest The emotional, we just need the physical.

42:53 Guest It's not emotional actually. I mean, it is, but it's physical. It's actually preparing a woman.

42:58 Adam Well, first off-

42:59 Caller Yes, yes.

43:00 Guest Preparation was never my strong point.

43:02 Drew No, it's like, yeah, it's Thanksgiving.

43:04 Adam No, you know, my wife and I are at the point where all we do is lo-fi for real fast-forward.

43:09 Guest Lo-fi, lo-fi, okay, that's good. I'm in, I'm in, I'm done.

43:15 Adam All right, what's going on? Turn extra on, sweetie. Yeah. Yeah, it is, here's the problem, here's what women don't know, Dayna. Here's what's in it for us. I'll tell you what's in it. There's not a lot in marriage for guys. Now, Drew piped on, I know your wife's listening, but guys instinctively, sort of what's in it for us, this is what's in it for us.

43:37 Guest Sex.

43:37 Adam We can have sex.

43:38 Guest But guaranteed.

43:38 Adam Minus all the cuddling and the making out and all. This is where guys go to. But it's not guaranteed though. That's guaranteed though.

43:46 Drew I know, but it's the compensation.

43:48 Adam Right, as a guy, as an 18 year old guy, what's in it for you, marriage-wise? I mean, even if you're gonna get married in 10 years, well, you get to get laid when you want. It's like, it's living in the house. There's an ATM in the house.

44:02 Guest And it's free. You don't need a card.

44:04 Adam No lines, no getting a car.

44:05 Guest It ain't free.

44:05 Adam No, yeah, what 18 is.

44:07 Guest It ain't free.

44:07 Guest 18 is about youth.

44:09 Adam Right, right. Yeah, well, there's no surcharge. You save you $50, but the bank manager's embezzling is what you don't know. He's taking hundreds of thousands of dollars. Right, that's the point. But it's in the house and the sex minus all the dating and the handholding and the kissing and the cuddling and all, we narrow it. See, here's the whole thing. This is what we've always wanted. It took eight dates and a bunch of meals and a few plays and everything to get this. We whittle it down to where we want it to be, which is lo-fi, pow. This is the direction we've been heading. Look at it as a giant pyramid that we've been heading toward this. Quick intercourse, the whole, since maybe junior year of high school, this is where we've been heading. We're there now. You guys, you got the kids, you got the ring, you got the SUV, we get the quick thing. Everyone dies, everyone's happy. Right. The great life. Let's take a break. There it is. Well, Dayna Devon, here tonight, and you know what? We shed some light on each other's parts.

45:07 Guest We did.

45:08 Adam That's what I like about it.

45:10 Drew These are getting closer. They look like a retreat for them.

45:12 Guest Well, actually, we've already discussed 90% of this, which is frightening. We do it with microphones on, on the set. The entire staff, they're popping in tapes in the back, and Mark's talking about, what was it?

45:22 Guest Your. Yeah.

45:24 Adam Better than our, our taped, our taped mics ones were like, the producers are idiots. I'm going to kill these guys. What am I doing here? That's the part they were listening to.

45:34 Drew The Loveline.

45:35 Adam Yeah, they would have probably enjoyed if we just had a sexual discourse. We'll be right back after this. Hey, buddy. It's the Love Line of Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified. Mark McGrath here, everybody. Tonight from my ex-girlfriend, David Devon. Tonight, 7 o'clock on NBC.

46:10 Guest Love that, yeah.

46:11 Adam Xtra, favorite guilty pleasure on TV. And not because it's bad. What's that?

46:16 Guest Because it's good.

46:17 Adam Because it's good, Drew, please.

46:18 Guest This is Ranchero Countdown, no good, you don't like that game.

46:22 Guest This is my message.

46:24 Drew This is her friend, okay. What else?

46:27 Guest All right, is that it? I got the whole thing, you guys wanna hear it?

46:30 Drew Yeah, sure.

46:30 Guest Yeah, can we hear it? This is Adam.

46:32 Drew This is Dayna's friend.

46:33 Guest Adam, it's 5.50. I'm gonna try and make this short. I'm gonna go over a few things again. First, Drew doesn't like the show. Adam doesn't like the Y in your name. Then also you might wanna mention to them that they should bring back the Dr. Drew joke counter because he doesn't make many jokes, so they counted them up. Very funny thing they used to do on the TV show. And then also the new game, Aces Ranchero Countdown, no good, you don't like that game. And the Florida, Germany, Florida, I'll try and come up with one even. You can shock them by giving them a good Germany or Florida or re-question that they play it. Now, if you want to give me a call back, it's 818.

47:21 Guest Isn't he great? Oh my God, like you would not believe how many people know about this show and like were like telling me stuff to say and oh, it was so funny.

47:29 Drew It's quasi insulting the way Dayna says that.

47:31 Guest Isn't that? Well, I honestly got, I'm in bed.

47:34 Adam She just asked me what I did during the day.

47:38 Guest What does he do during the day? I could tell by his response, that was a really dumb thing to ask.

47:46 Adam No, we were talking a little construction and then Dayna wanted to know if I had my day job still. But no, I don't. I gave it up many years ago.

47:54 Guest What does he do?

47:56 Drew He writes for Jimmy Kimmel Live.

47:58 Adam Why did you tell me that?

47:59 Drew He has a couple of his own shows.

48:00 Adam Well, no, I'm a first off.

48:02 Drew He feels like to toot his own horn.

48:04 Guest Because construction sounds so much sexier.

48:05 Adam Yeah.

48:06 Guest I was kind of into you when you were talking about floating the floor.

48:10 Guest Shirt off.

48:10 Guest I was into that.

48:11 Adam That's right, greased up.

48:13 Guest Roach coach.

48:15 Guest All right, we need to make it.

48:18 Drew Take another break.

48:19 Adam Actually, we want to play.

48:20 Guest But didn't we just take one? I don't want to go yet.

48:23 Adam And by the way, let me just say this. All the years I worked construction, they did have the lunch truck, the roach coach, pull up and they would honk the horn. The song's La Cucaracha. You want the cockroach? We'll open into the breakfast burrito. Shouldn't we separate the cockroach from the food?

48:39 Guest Let's be honest though, that food is good.

48:41 Adam It is.

48:41 Guest It's dynamite food.

48:43 Adam It is, and it takes over your soul and rings it like a bar rag. Like you'll do that thing where you'll go, okay, this time, you know what? I'm gonna get the O-plane, the orange. I'm gonna get a crystal light and I'm gonna get an orange and that's it. Then you start smelling some degreased guava.

49:00 Guest No, it's not good. It's not good, Mark. No, I can't let you go down this aisle.

49:04 Adam Do you know, by the way, breakfast burrito.

49:07 Guest You cannot be eating off that truck at work, Mark.

49:10 Guest It's the best, the parks are in your area.

49:11 Guest I felt the fly, half of a fly in there and I could not, Dr. Drew, psychologically, I was really impaired for a long time. Of course, I didn't lose any weight. I probably gained five pounds. I mean, it's not good and everything tastes the same. See, that's where, this is a woman man thing. It's all the same grease, so whatever's in it, it all tastes the same. It doesn't matter if it's chicken or refried beans. It tastes the same.

49:31 Drew And I told you, we had one of these at my high school. Oh, really?

49:34 Caller Every time I bring it up, you see the surprises I've seen.

49:37 Drew I've never heard of it. And I got disgusted with it. Really?

49:41 Adam Yeah, the lunch truck would pull up on the campus. Wow, and you would just order like you would on a construction site?

49:46 Wouldn't it just be a big line?

49:48 Drew Yeah, but it was one of those ones that just the things, flaps go up, and there's nobody cooking. It's just free stuff, like a microwave kind of thing.

49:54 Guest It's funny, they pull up and they've got like a D rating and you still just chow down right there. You're like, give me cantaloupe.

49:59 Guest With Mexican restaurants though, that's an encouragement. You know?

50:02 Drew The arteries are good.

50:04 Adam It's kind of like this guys? Guy's always up there with his old lady too, doing the cooking.

50:29 Guest I'll have you know that was a track on our first record, Lemonade and Brownies. Yeah, we had 11 songs, that was one of them. We counted that as a song. And that was called The Drive-By.

50:38 Adam Engineer Anderson digging deep.

50:40 Guest Good job, man.

50:41 Guest We like that, yeah.

50:43 Adam All right, Dayna, Mark and Mark here tonight for Maxxer at seven o'clock. MBC will take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

50:55 Guest Thank 1-800-LOVE-191. 1--LOVE-1.

51:29 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-E-E-1-9-1, Mark McGrath here tonight, Dan Devon here tonight from Extra, Extra, Seven O'Clock NBC. Yes.

51:36 Drew Nice working with hosts.

51:37 Adam It is.

51:38 Drew Because they try to stop us.

51:40 Adam How fast does first hour go by?

51:42 Drew Not only that. Now that the show starts, they know they're supposed to be sitting here in front of the mic ready to go. They're ready for business. Even with the millisecond despair.

51:52 Guest Remember I used to not come to the mic, I'd be drinking a beer in the kitchen.

51:54 Drew I do remember that.

51:55 Guest The good old days.

51:56 Adam What is the schedule by the way over there? Like I know it varies, you're doing red carpet stuff or Mark's going to England and doing, you know, talking up a play, but normally day in and day out, what is the schedule?

52:10 Guest Well, about, I get there about eight and depending on-

52:14 Guest Dayna, you've never gotten there at eight, ever.

52:16 Guest Yeah.

52:17 Guest You get there super- Dayna was the hardest working person in show business.

52:20 Drew What time did she get there?

52:21 Guest If there was a normal day. Five. No, no, no, 4.45 on an early, yeah.

52:26 Guest There she goes.

52:26 Guest No, like tomorrow's a 4.45, but that's cause it's, there's two days a week that's really early.

52:32 Adam You're taping at 4.45.

52:34 Guest No, that's for hair and makeup. I mean, it takes a village to get me ready.

52:39 Guest So we'll be taping tomorrow at seven.

52:42 Drew She's not complaining tonight.

52:43 Guest We're doing two shows.

52:44 Adam Okay, well, let me get this straight. I always thought that the shows, that these shows tape an hour or so before they went to air.

52:52 Guest Kind of, yeah, right? Because we start at like 1130. The show has to be fed out completely done by 130. So we start dabbling in it at like 1130. Really, we get serious about noon. And then as things come in, you tape them. And then it has to be completely done and fed out at 130. And people take it directly off the satellite at 130.

53:09 Guest Because on different times, like back East, sometimes on four New Orleans and stuff like that.

53:12 Adam Okay, so everything has to be done and in the can by one o'clock.

53:16 Guest Right.

53:16 Adam And so the day starts on an average day.

53:20 Guest Average day, 7.30 probably for me.

53:22 Adam And what time for you, Mark?

53:24 Guest I get there about eight o'clock.

53:26 Adam And now you start.

53:27 Guest Is that funny?

53:29 Guest Why are you laughing?

53:30 Guest Because they know me.

53:31 Adam Yeah.

53:31 Guest I know, it's very cute.

53:32 Guest I have a commute now. I have a commute.

53:34 Guest And he's real excited. Like he comes in and he's almost got his like little backpack and lunch. Like he's real cute about it. Like he's always chipper.

53:41 Drew It's probably a relief on some level. You know, it's good to have a little structure.

53:45 Guest It is, you know, because I've had a good time in the band. I still continue to, but you know, to have structure and get back in the day to day and get into reality, it's humbling to say the least. You know, but it's good to get back into that. Cause you can get caught out there, Dr. Drew, as you know. You can get stuck in a moment. You can't get out of his bono, said, well.

54:02 Guest He was so funny cause one time you and your manager were going to go out and they were, Mark was heading out to meet him out and he called me. He was like, I can't, I can't go. I'm too tired. I can't go. So Mark went home and his manager went out to like all hours of the night. And then the next day calls him and he's like, wow, isn't this role reversal?

54:18 Guest Yeah, he was hungover. Yeah. I was at work chipper and he was hungover.

54:21 Adam So, and, and hair and makeup at the beginning, are you work, are you work, is there a teleprompter? You guys working on copy that's going into the teleprompter? Someone's giving you a script and you're saying, let's tweak this and do that.

54:33 Guest A lot of times in the morning, we get a stack of papers about two inches thick. And that's all of the entertainment headlines from around the world. Some of them real, some of them fake, you know, fake like the tabloids in the UK, not always. Yeah. So you read through all that. So just when you do radio stuff and somebody asks you about Liza Minnelli's X something, you know, you kind of know what you're talking about. So like a lot of the morning is reading the trades, reading, you know, kind of refreshing. And then as the stuff starts going in at like 11, 1030, we start reading. We used to have a table read, which is great. We'd go through the whole show and get our stick together.

55:05 Guest Get our stick together.

55:07 Adam And you can do a few takes on something. Oh, yeah.

55:11 Guest Until it gets really near the satellite.

55:14 Guest Dayna can do one take all the time. I need to do like three or four.

55:17 Adam And well, you guys have a good chemistry, by the way, for a new couple, if I can call you that.

55:26 Guest I really like him. I mean, like, it's so funny, because people go, okay. They go, okay, seriously, tell us the truth. Tell us. He's so easy. He's so funny. Like, when he was starting, like, he'd go, will you help me out with this? And he never, he does not have one diva bone in his body. Like, if he thinks he didn't do it well, he's too even, he will not even ask to do it again.

55:47 Drew I've never heard, no one's ever got Mark.

55:49 Guest Never.

55:50 Drew But no one ever does, that's not him.

55:52 Guest Yeah.

55:52 Adam No, Mark's a really nice guy. And I start to wonder, like, I think a lot of people feel like, well, if you have this much success, or you look this good, or you nail this many chicks, or you sell this many records. Here's what I think people think. I think people, everyone starts off in the same place in this sort of niceness meter. And then the more records you sell, and the more groupies you nail, or the bigger your paycheck is, or the nicer your car you drive, the worse you get. Untrue. There's some people are nice, and some people are a-holes, and there's a-holes who make minimum wage, and there's nice guys who make $500,000 a year.

56:24 Drew A friend of mine, Barry Wise, he said that money and success just makes you more of whatever you are.

56:28 Guest It just emphasizes everything. It puts a microscope on it. But you know, when he first started, we did these promos, and they brought in all these extras, and these whatever. And literally, I was so shocked, because I knew Mark was a rock star, but you know, I didn't realize people's effect when he would even look. He would look at them, and they'd get that like jittery, like he full on had groupies.

56:49 Adam Then they brought the ladies in and look out. Yeah, exactly.

56:52 Caller Where's Dayna Bain?

56:53 Adam By the way, yeah, she thought I swung a hammer. What'd you do, drive a Zamboni or what? Wow, they really had a cattle call. Well, life exists outside of your home, Dayna.

57:11 Caller I think that's the point.

57:12 Adam I think that's the point.

57:13 Guest It's really refreshing.

57:14 Adam It's frightening and refreshing. They make a great deodorant. It's frightening, it's refreshing. Great combination. All right, Drew, stop you from pinning out in those sweatshirts. All right, so everything's working out, right? Frightening, refreshing, fun, all right. And the day is basically done at one o'clock? No, no, now it's time for a meeting.

57:41 Guest It could be anything, it could be a fitting. And fittings can take fricking hours. And you sit there and like, you get caught up in pins.

57:48 Guest But here's how my fittings work.

57:50 Adam Are these pants? Yeah, those are good. Don't you want to try them on? Are they 34, 34? Yeah, they're good, will work. Just bring a belt and prepare to let them out if we have to, but yeah. So yeah, then you have to go down to the red carpet or something, you're going out on assignment.

58:04 Guest Or there's a screening or there's something. There's usually something going on in the afternoon.

58:08 Guest Yeah, they told me that the job was like nine to two. And those are great. You know, I'll show up every day and I'll really at home run. It's a little different than that.

58:15 Adam Yeah, cause then you're going up to talk to Jada Pinkett. She's giving you the stink eye out of red carpet.

58:22 Guest Entertainment news happens all the time.

58:24 Adam That's right, and you're there when it happens.

58:26 Guest We're there when it happens.

58:27 Adam And they don't give these guys very much credit, but it's gotta be a tough gig, that red carpet job, by the way. First off, Drew, can you imagine you being the spotter for someone at the red carpet? I did it. Imagine you being the spotter. Imagine if it was like a sitcom and the guy did the spotting actually fell off and you actually had to take his place and you're in the guy's IFB and you're like, oh man, it's that, the chick from the, oh man.

58:51 Guest We do that, we do that.

58:52 Adam I mean, there must be nothing, that's all, it would be one succession of, I would know like, okay, that's Ray Romano. That other man would be like, that's the dude, Adam, that's your sister, that's right, I knew it.

59:03 Caller I knew her, her name is Lauren.

59:05 Adam Lauren. Phineas, Phineas.

59:10 Drew Phineas Fogg, not Phineas Fogg, we found out, Phineas Fogg.

59:13 Adam I would be one big, oh, oh, ah, I know, and so you gotta have a spotter, right?

59:18 Guest Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

59:20 Adam Who's spotting?

59:20 Guest Well, usually you have a producer with you that, it's funny, because even if you get really versed in TV, then you'll go and you'll do a movie one, like I remember he was doing a lot of movie junkets for a long time and I would be totally into the movies and then I would start doing some TV stuff and I'd be like, oh, you know what I mean? And you felt like you were complete. And that's hard because, and then you add in music and you're like really screwed and then you add in country music and then you're really screwed.

59:43 Guest I mean, there's shows that are huge on TV that you don't know a single cast member.

59:48 Adam That's all, like all the CSIs, I've never seen any of them. They're huge, you get them all confused. I'll tell you, Spotter, I want a gay guy.

59:57 Guest Oh yeah.

59:57 Adam Like I'm making a friend in prison, I want a black guy, but Spotter, I go gay guy. You know, there's certain people for certain jobs, you want a gay guy, you want him up in the tower with the binoculars. He's gonna tell you who they are and how much weight they put on them.

1:00:11 Guest Exactly, if they're wearing is cool.

1:00:13 Adam Yeah, what they're wearing, that's right.

1:00:14 Guest They can give you six degrees of separation. They can tell you they worked with directors so and so, and you know, they had that in common with so, I mean, they can tell you everything.

1:00:20 Adam That's what I want, gay Spotter. Yeah, all right, you ready to rock here? You know what would be a good job, by the way?

1:00:27 Guest Tell me.

1:00:28 Adam I was, I don't know if we talked about this, Drew, the guy who does the spotting at the cheerleading competition.

1:00:34 Drew Yes, this guy's a stand behind.

1:00:36 Adam That's my gig. That's the gig I want. Here's your job. You, yeah, see these 14 year olds? Yeah, they're making a pyramid. I need you to get underneath them and look up. And by the way, if you look down, you're fired. I need you to stand behind them and just stare up.

1:00:51 Guest I think the gay Spotter's got those jobs, too.

1:00:53 Adam Maybe that's it. Maybe I have to be gay. Maybe they put like a tumescence monitor on you, put the cigar band around your dork and they show you a slideshow for 15 year olds and if nothing happens, you're in. Get in there.

1:01:06 Guest You know, usually with most of those yell leaders, it's not an issue. Trust me. It's not an issue.

1:01:11 Drew I'm talking about the Spotter guy. The guys just spot. The big guys stand behind.

1:01:15 Adam At the competition.

1:01:16 Drew At the competition.

1:01:17 Guest Oh, the person that actually has their hand up there is the yell leader.

1:01:22 Adam And by the way, what about the parents that are in the stands like, that's my little 15 year old, my, look at her. She's a, she's a sophomore. She made it to the head cheerleading. Yeah. Yeah. Ms. Johnson, this guy's got his palm up her like a puppet.

1:01:36 Guest It's fisting part of the exercise.

1:01:38 Adam It's all right. It's all right. Hey, Bob, make her do the, we got the spirit. Yes, we do one.

1:01:48 Caller Can you move her arm too?

1:01:49 Adam It's just her mouth. Okay, good. Oh my God. I mean, it's like, look at her. We're so proud.

1:01:55 Caller He's got his hand up her. She's 15. What is that?

1:02:02 Adam By the way, it's just his palm.

1:02:03 Caller Worse.

1:02:04 Adam I'd rather get an index finger.

1:02:07 Guest Seriously, palm?

1:02:10 Adam Who decided that was cool though, by the way?

1:02:13 Caller I got a new cheer.

1:02:14 Adam What is it?

1:02:15 Caller 1953?

1:02:16 Adam Here's a cheer. Ladies, hop up on the guy's palm. Not your knee. Get the vagina on the palm.

1:02:22 Caller Great.

1:02:22 Adam Guys, one hand up there. Let's go. No, no spotters.

1:02:25 Caller Yeah, legs.

1:02:25 Adam No, legs. A kimbo. Who signed off on that? Is that okay?

1:02:32 Guest Get the vagina on the palm.

1:02:34 Adam How come nobody's saying anything? By the way, if there's a hot cheerleader, I would walk around with my hand in a plastic bag.

1:02:42 Drew Just like a guy.

1:02:43 Adam Yeah, what's up? Go across the box. Just rubber band around a plastic bag all day in school. Who wants some?

1:02:51 Guest You are hilarious.

1:02:53 Guest You really have a future in this.

1:02:54 Guest Did you get that? I think you can let the construction job go and really do this.

1:02:59 Adam I'm going to let the daytime gig go. To hammer down.

1:03:01 Guest You know what I'm saying?

1:03:02 Drew You could write or something.

1:03:05 Guest You could do something with this.

1:03:06 Adam Thanks.

1:03:06 Guest We didn't have guys.

1:03:07 Guest We didn't have that. We held each other. And that's really sad because I was really skinny like when I was like a freshman. So I was at the top of the pyramid and then I gained some weight like when I hit puberty and then I was at the fricking bottom of the pyramid and that's the foundation.

1:03:23 Adam That's the equivalent like the chick fat equivalent. Sorry, is the bottom of the pyramid and the guy fat is the anchor on the tug of war. We need to. No, no, no.

1:03:34 Guest With the loop around. I was just pulling them up. That guy.

1:03:36 Adam No, the most important job. It's sort of the equivalent to Little League when we're going to need you behind the place. That's the fat kid. There's a couple of fat guy jobs. End of the rope. The guy's rope ties around.

1:03:50 Guest Catcher, yeah. Catcher for sure.

1:03:51 Adam Catcher fat kid job. When the rope ties around your waist and you're at the anchor.

1:03:56 Guest Goalie in soccer.

1:03:57 Adam Bottom of the pyramid.

1:03:58 Guest Yeah, bottom of the pyramid, exactly. And wrestling.

1:04:01 Adam James?

1:04:02 Drew And cannibals.

1:04:03 Adam I don't know if that's official gig though.

1:04:06 Drew Yeah, but that's.

1:04:06 Adam Where's the tug at? Tug at the anchor.

1:04:08 Drew That's where the distinguishments are. Yeah.

1:04:10 Adam James?

1:04:11 Caller Yes.

1:04:11 Adam What's happening?

1:04:12 Caller Oh, big fan of the show. Adam here, hilarious. He can make a joke at my expense when I hang up on the pressure.

1:04:20 Adam Well, I would if we had a clear connection. But go ahead.

1:04:23 Caller I've got actually some, I've had some pain pretty much as far as I can remember. In my colon or my rectum, I don't know what it is, it's almost like a cramp or a contraction. It doesn't happen that often, maybe about once every two or three weeks. Sometimes it's like debilitating, like I have to lay down or sit down because it lasts a few minutes.

1:04:44 Drew Is there anything that you do that precipitates that? Is it after any activity or?

1:04:49 Caller Not that I've noticed, but within the last two months, I took a more physical job and I've noticed that it gets more frequent.

1:04:55 Adam It says here that you have a job as a fisherman.

1:04:58 Caller Yeah, I work on a crab boat in the Bering Sea.

1:05:01 Drew In the Bering Sea?

1:05:03 Caller Yeah, I just got back.

1:05:05 Adam How long do you guys go out for?

1:05:08 Caller Well, the crab season this year was the king crab was only three and a half days, but then we do other different types of crab for, you know, up to three weeks around the sea at a time.

1:05:17 Adam King crab, pulling up king crab.

1:05:20 Guest I love them.

1:05:21 Guest Don't you love king crab?

1:05:25 Adam I'm sure. I don't think you'd love them if, you know, there was, you know, gale force winds and fear would frosted into it.

1:05:31 Guest Are you kidding? I was like about to die in my house.

1:05:33 Guest Like a traffic storm type stuff.

1:05:35 Adam But how big are the king crab? Because there's nothing like a big crab. It's just nothing cooler. Like, yeah, once you go to that restaurant, there's a guy holding it up.

1:05:46 Guest In a living still?

1:05:47 Adam Yeah. How big is it?

1:05:49 Caller Before we process it, they can get up to about two feet in width.

1:05:53 Drew This guy pulls into Fisherman's Wharf with his stuff. That's like San Francisco.

1:05:56 Adam Oh, that's manhole cover size.

1:05:59 Caller We pull into Dutch Harbor, Alaska, which is one of the little islands.

1:06:05 Drew I'm glad you're bringing it back on track here because he's describing something called Proctalgia Fugax, which is caused by a lot of different things. James, how come you're calling a radio show and not going to see a doctor about this?

1:06:16 Caller It hasn't been that frequent, it just comes once every three weeks and it's very short.

1:06:24 Drew It is a sign of many, many different things, anything from a hemorrhoid to a perirectal abscess to even tumors and prostate problems.

1:06:33 Adam I have.

1:06:34 Caller That's good.

1:06:35 Adam What happened?

1:06:36 Guest They hurt. I had to have a colonoscopy.

1:06:40 Drew I've had a colonoscopy, that's fine.

1:06:42 Guest Yeah, no, yeah, it's not. I've had two because I had pre-pollips.

1:06:46 Adam Pre-pollips or what, Drew?

1:06:47 Drew They're hyperplastic polyps.

1:06:49 Guest They're precancerous, right?

1:06:50 Drew Well, they're pre-precancerous, yeah, but it's still good to get them out because they would have potentially become something, something. I didn't want mushrooms growing in there.

1:06:56 Guest Not as much as you would want. Fungal polyps.

1:06:58 Drew Fungal polyps. I mean, it's really important to get these things done every five years. Have you done it?

1:07:03 No, I haven't done it.

1:07:04 Drew I did, too.

1:07:05 Guest I've never done one. What age?

1:07:07 Guest I got a video.

1:07:08 Drew 40?

1:07:09 Guest I did.

1:07:10 Drew Stop.

1:07:12 Guest I know where it's going, stop.

1:07:13 Drew It depends what's going on in your family. If you have a lot of family history of colon cancer, you can start at 40, but 50 is where you're supposed to start. 50 every five years after 50. But Adam had a particularly adventuresome perianal experience.

1:07:26 Guest Could you tell us, Adam, about that? Look at the face.

1:07:28 Adam I don't know, the dude's name is Perry, I had what I call a carbuncle on my, near the rectal area.

1:07:37 Guest What's a carbuncle?

1:07:38 Drew Abscess.

1:07:39 Adam Yeah, it was, it hurt.

1:07:41 Guest It's not. What was it?

1:07:43 Guest Here's the thing. Was it a pineal? What's the pineal?

1:07:46 Drew Parctals of Fugax? Phineas Fugax?

1:07:49 Guest Pineal, pineal?

1:07:51 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:07:53 Guest Was that it?

1:07:54 Drew No, that's up above, that's up here. This is the actual, right near the target.

1:07:59 Guest The fun center?

1:08:00 Drew Bullseye.

1:08:02 Adam If it was a building, it would be the chimney. You're like out in the tomato garden. I'm in the chimney. You understand? Right, I hear you. Smart bond.

1:08:13 You understand.

1:08:14 Adam You got that. Well, listen, I don't have these highfalutin doctors. How did you rectify that? Get it?

1:08:20 Guest Yeah.

1:08:21 Drew Funny.

1:08:21 Adam I'll tell you, first thing is, it's hard to get a good look at that area.

1:08:26 Guest Yeah, no kidding.

1:08:27 Guest Hand mirrors don't.

1:08:28 Drew Well, no.

1:08:30 Adam They, you do what you can. First off, it's a tough area to get friends to investigate. It's not like when you get ingrown hair in the back end.

1:08:39 Guest The barber.

1:08:40 Adam I just got that shave from the barber. What do I got cooking back there?

1:08:42 Guest That, you can do.

1:08:43 Adam The anus, the chimney, it's a difficult place for people to give a... They don't want to go down there and kick the tires in other ways.

1:08:49 Caller Yeah, they don't want to look around.

1:08:51 Guest And by the way, what really...

1:08:53 Adam One of my idiot friends from North Hollywood come up with if they saw something down there anyway.

1:08:57 Guest Oh, God.

1:08:57 Adam So, I had a friend who convinced me it was a hemorrhoid and it wasn't, and then went out and dropped a box on the prep H and rubbed that on there for a week and nothing happened. And here's the problem with anything to do with the anus, no sympathy from society at all.

1:09:14 Guest Yeah.

1:09:14 Adam Like, I'm saying to people, look, I got a situation. I can barely walk here and barely get out of bed. What's the problem here?

1:09:23 Caller My asshole.

1:09:27 Guest Yeah, I'm dying.

1:09:32 Adam Doc says I got about four weeks. Listen, I'm giving away the truck. You want it? My dad doesn't drive a stick. I said goodbye to a little finial and yeah, right.

1:09:47 Guest It's not the heart.

1:09:48 Adam People laugh and laugh and literally their ass off at your ass problem, but I couldn't go into work. I, you know, this is this was some years ago.

1:09:57 Guest When you called in, what did you say when I called into work?

1:10:01 Adam Yeah, I told him, I told him, I asked problems and here's why the same reason why women should play the female card, yeah, because there's no follow up to the ass or the period thing. And so I thought, anyway, eventually the thing blew. Now here's how I got to look at it. What do you mean? Well, he did surgery on it, well, like is it I got, I actually got a pin into a lance. I lanced one of them personal lancing. I did a personal lance or lance a lot. I lanced one that was more than one. No, no, here's the thing. I had one at 19 and one at 29.

1:10:45 Guest Same spot.

1:10:47 Adam It's, you know, it's, it's hard to tell. First off, there's a lot.

1:10:51 Guest First, are you cleaning that area sufficiently?

1:10:53 Adam Here's, here's.

1:10:54 Guest It doesn't sound like it.

1:10:57 Drew With all that hair down there.

1:11:00 Guest I know.

1:11:00 Adam Let me say this. First off, it's hard to tell if it's the same spot because A, it's been 10 years and B, the mirror flips things around. Everyone, so I'll try to hold the mirror behind your head and you're trying to pass it down and your hand's going the wrong direction, hitting yourself in the face, you know, what's going on.

1:11:15 Guest All right.

1:11:16 Adam So it's hard to tell. And the map had been lost many years before. But I assume it was the same area, same side. And the point is, I was looking at the mirror and the way I was able to get to it is I had a full length closet door sliding mirror and I was able to sort of prop my legs up on the thing and I had to bounce a flashlight off of the mirror. It's the same way they say that the Egyptians got light to the center of the pyramid. A series of mirrors that reflected the light.

1:11:47 Drew The image is so spectacular. If someone had walked in, it would have left their ass off.

1:11:53 Adam It blew, well first off you'd assume I was just trying to blow myself. I can think of no other explanation. That's all, I don't know what he was doing.

1:12:01 Drew You're hoping that's what he was doing.

1:12:02 Adam I don't know what he was doing with the flashlight. We pray to Christ he was just trying to blow himself. Either way, we got to get the security deposit back and we got to get out of here. I was living with Ralph Garman by the way, he's doing the morning show on K-Rock here by the way.

1:12:18 Drew And a movie star now.

1:12:19 Adam And a movie star, so he could have walked in. But as I was shining light on, maybe just a little heat created from the flashlight, maybe a little blazer. Softened up, pow, the thing blew.

1:12:31 Guest And I wouldn't want to be that washcloth.

1:12:34 Drew Washcloth, the mirror.

1:12:35 Guest It was, no, no, no, how dare you, Drew.

1:12:39 Adam Point is, I got up, I was in humongous pain for a week. I said the pain was immediately gone. Drew, how does that work, by the way, where the thing blows? It's under pressure. And then I did the scene from Tommy, where he could see. I'm running down the street in flares with no shirt on, cut to me on top of a mountain, cut to me on top of a Ferris wheel, cut to me running on a boardwalk, slow motion. I'm just all, I'm every place, I'm everywhere. I'm on the top of the Eiffel Tower, on the top of that thing in Rio de Janeiro with the big priest on the hill. I'm everywhere all the time, it's like a Phil Collins video, I'm going nuts. Jimmy and I celebrated by going out and eating Mexican. I'll never forget, I'll never forget. This is 10 years ago, by the way, still working at K-Rac, I got on the phone with them saying we're going to El Torino, I'm buying, we are celebrating. That is hilarious. That was my anal adventure.

1:13:36 Guest And not a moment too soon we wrapped that up.

1:13:38 Adam Anal adventures, I know, we did. You got the anal ball rolling.

1:13:41 Guest Yeah, yeah, I did.

1:13:43 Drew When we get back, we've got your buddy Adam, whose message we sent you a few minutes ago online.

1:13:48 Adam Interesting. And also-

1:13:50 Guest He's on, we have him?

1:13:51 Drew He's on the line.

1:13:51 Adam We gotta play some Germany or Florida, by the way.

1:13:54 Guest He told me that he was gonna help me out with the Germany and Florida thing, so maybe he might want to play.

1:13:58 Adam And also James, who's like a-

1:14:01 Drew You're gonna need to see a doctor by the way.

1:14:03 Adam The Gordon Spisher man, we talked to him like 10 minutes ago.

1:14:05 Drew It could be, sometimes, your logical problems like prostate infection, the prostatitis does this, sometimes it's very incorrect.

1:14:12 Guest Crabs though. This poor guy's still on the phone?

1:14:15 Adam Oh yeah, he's surrounded.

1:14:16 Guest After all this? Oh God love him.

1:14:19 Adam James?

1:14:19 Guest Yeah.

1:14:20 Adam All right buddy, you're doing the Lord's work by stripping the ocean that way. All right buddy, you go to the doctor.

1:14:27 Guest All right.

1:14:29 Adam All right, that's enough. We gotta take a break. The Drew brought up the anus story. What are you gonna do? We'll take a quick break, we'll be right back after this.

1:14:39 Guest Ace's Ranchero Countdown, no good. You don't like that game.

1:15:10 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. That is Dayna Devon over there. I'm Adam Carolla, Mark McGrath just entered the studio. Extra Extras, seven o'clock on NBC.

1:15:24 Guest That's gonna throw you in, isn't it?

1:15:26 Guest Yeah. In LA.

1:15:27 Drew Check your local listings.

1:15:28 Guest Exactly.

1:15:29 Adam Sorry, that's right. And to me, it feels maybe just from living in LA, that if one of those shows came on before seven, it would feel weird. Like, it's all seven and 730, right? LA's just, shows that started at seven, shows that started at 730, it's sort of always been that way, right?

1:15:47 Guest That's right. I have more people sometimes recognize me by my voice than by my face, because I think they're cooking dinner or they turn it on and they're doing stuff and they listen to it, they don't really watch it.

1:15:56 Adam That's interesting.

1:15:57 Guest Yeah.

1:15:57 Adam Yeah, never thought about it.

1:15:59 Guest But don't people recognize you guys by your voice?

1:16:01 Adam Yeah, but this is the radio.

1:16:05 Guest Good point, that's a good point, I'll give you that one.

1:16:08 Adam No, I know, it's like asking a blind guy, sometimes you hear noises and you think, yeah, yeah, I got no eyes.

1:16:16 Guest Yeah, eyes none.

1:16:17 Adam Crow pecked him out when I was hunting coyote. Remember that? Yeah, sorry, I had to bring that up again.

1:16:23 Guest Oh my God, that's funny.

1:16:24 Adam No, you know, I know what you're saying. We actually, Drew, we should get more of that.

1:16:29 Drew You would think so, would you?

1:16:30 Adam How come we don't get more of that? I'll tell you why. I don't know what your excuse is. The show was on TV, on MTV for long enough, I think that people can put a face behind the boys. And also-

1:16:42 Guest Well, that's what I meant, by the way.

1:16:44 Drew Yeah, no, but I think-

1:16:45 Guest Mr. Crow pecked out my eyes.

1:16:48 Drew You would think you'd get something like it, the fast food once in a while, or something.

1:16:51 Adam Yeah, I think we've both been on TV enough to probably, I don't know, doesn't happen nearly as much as you would think it would. Yes, Drew? Let's speak to Adam.

1:17:04 Drew There's nothing unique about your voice, either.

1:17:06 Adam The-

1:17:07 Drew Except for that nasally drone, I guess.

1:17:09 Adam Let's talk to Adam. Adam is 20, Adam is, Dayna says, well, she didn't say, but I did the math, a lackey over at Extra. Hey, buddy, we need your racist pile of tapes.

1:17:23 Guest Hi, Adam. I got moved to the, hey, Dayna, hey, Mark, hey, guys. Hey, hey. I got moved to the sister show, Celebrity Justice, but still in the same building.

1:17:33 Adam All right, well.

1:17:34 Drew Across the street, isn't it?

1:17:36 Guest Adam, you've called in here a bunch of times and this is the first time getting on the air?

1:17:39 Guest Yeah, well, I used to call when I was young and make up stories and they used to always bust me, so.

1:17:44 Guest Now, they're good at that.

1:17:47 Guest I'll admit it.

1:17:48 Adam Adam, we heard your, you're not so flattering a message on Dayna's cell phone explaining that you weren't a fan of Ace's Mexican Ranchero Accordion Countdown.

1:17:59 Guest Ace's Ranchero Countdown? No good, you don't like that game. You don't like that game. Here's the deal, Adam.

1:18:07 Adam Hold on, before we keep going, is there anything else Dayna hasn't seen or heard of that she doesn't like that you could pull her in on? As a 20 year old goomper. By the way, I got busted down to the Celebrity Justice Show, which is just one step from a full blown S-canning.

1:18:25 Guest Please, how dare you?

1:18:26 Guest I do vocal listings, all right?

1:18:29 Drew Adam, and how do I do the Joke Tote? Is that what we used to call that?

1:18:33 Adam Yeah.

1:18:33 Drew How do we do that without a visual?

1:18:35 Adam Yeah, you're thinking of the TV show with Drew's Joke Tote board, right?

1:18:40 Guest Yeah, keep track, let us know. Let us just say, of course you don't have a visual, it's radio, but just let us know, keep track, it's funny.

1:18:47 Adam Okay, so far we're at zero minus three. You would be zero for jokes, but you stepped on so many of mine, I'm gonna actually deduct a few from yours, all right? You were sitting there and going to break right in the middle of my beautiful rants? All right, so Adam.

1:19:05 Guest No, hey Adam, I gotta say this though, the show's only two hours long, you don't need to kill time with that Ace's Ranchero countdown.

1:19:13 Adam Well, it's ironic that you bring that up.

1:19:17 Drew Unless you have a Germany or Florida for us.

1:19:19 Adam Do you have a Germany or Florida, Adam?

1:19:22 Guest I actually do, yeah.

1:19:26 Guest See, I told you Adam was good.

1:19:28 Adam All right, so we're gonna play a little Germany or Florida then. Hold on, Adam. What about that theme song that one day Sugar Ray can sample?

1:19:35 Guest You scribbled my name on your paper. Hold that up.

1:19:38 Drew Hold it up.

1:19:39 Guest Hold it up. You scribbled my name, you scribbled my name with a Y, with a Y.

1:19:47 Drew You put it on your shoes?

1:19:49 Guest I used everyone.

1:19:50 Adam Hey, Adam?

1:19:51 Guest Yeah, yeah.

1:19:52 Adam All right, go ahead. Give us your Germany or Florida. So, I know, by the way, how the game is played is we hear the crazy story and then we guess. Is it Germany or Florida? Because all bizarre stories either emanate from either Germany or Florida.

1:20:06 Guest Go ahead, Adam. Things are sick and twisted from two men, sons and Nazis, sex, meth and death fetishes. Both of them have got these guaranteed not to bore you Germany or Florida.

1:20:15 Adam Yeah, well, I guess that guarantees out the window.

1:20:21 Guest A man 55 years old was arrested for fraud and theft for a sham marriage to a comatose woman and for subsequent purchases of almost $20,000 on her credit cards. According to the police detective, this man said the woman's dog told him that the woman would want him to use her credit cards and live a better life after she died. Germany or Florida?

1:20:45 Drew That's a good one.

1:20:46 Adam So the guy wed a woman who was in a coma. Is that it?

1:20:50 Drew And her dog, is that what you said?

1:20:54 Guest The woman's dog told him that she would want him to use her credit cards to live a better life after she died.

1:21:01 Guest That's so Florida.

1:21:02 Guest That's, I think it's Florida.

1:21:04 Guest That's so Florida.

1:21:05 Guest Old lady in a coma is Florida.

1:21:06 Drew You know what?

1:21:07 Guest In Germany, they go mushroom hunting and get poisoned to death. That's the kind of Germany stories you get.

1:21:12 Adam Florida is-

1:21:12 Drew They knock off their old people too.

1:21:14 Adam That's a good point. All right, Adam. Anyone want to go Germany just to make it interesting?

1:21:19 Guest I'm real Florida.

1:21:20 Adam Everyone's going Florida, Adam. Go ahead.

1:21:22 Guest Everyone's going Florida. Oh, I'm blown away. Everyone's right.

1:21:29 Adam And that's how you play Germany or Florida. How beautiful. Yes. Now, because we're going to complete the-

1:21:37 Drew Trilogy.

1:21:38 Adam Yeah, well, it's not really the trilogy. It's just pretty much the tag team with the Aces Mexican Ranchero Recording Countdown.

1:21:45 Guest They're going to rub it in. You're going to have to play.

1:21:47 Adam Yeah, you're going to have to play along. You have to play along.

1:21:50 Guest Oh, come on.

1:21:51 Guest Apparently, you don't understand. What they were explaining to me off the air, Adam, is that you don't understand the true charm of Aces Mexican Riviera-

1:21:59 Caller Ranchero Recording Countdown.

1:22:01 Guest Yeah.

1:22:01 Guest Because you are not actually playing.

1:22:03 Adam Will you load that into the teleprompter so we can get it right?

1:22:07 Guest That is, the involvement is actually part of the charm, Adam, see?

1:22:11 Adam Yes, that's right.

1:22:12 Guest I believe it, but I played from home when you guys did the last one.

1:22:15 Guest I told you he was a fan. He played from home.

1:22:17 Adam How'd you do? How did you do?

1:22:19 Guest Actually, I guess I didn't really play. I just kept my fingers crossed for Dayna or Mark and-

1:22:24 Guest Look how cute little Adam is.

1:22:27 Adam Wow, except for the ace man won that one, didn't he? Yeah.

1:22:30 Caller Here we go, Adam. Make a bet.

1:22:32 Adam Let's see. You know how the game is played. How long until the accordion music chimes in? Chris, you're ready. We'll start with Adam at home first. Go ahead, Adam.

1:22:41 Guest I'm going to have to go. I think this might be a long one. I'm going to go nine seconds.

1:22:46 Adam Nine seconds.

1:22:47 By the way, for someone that hates this whole procedure, he sure plays it a lot.

1:22:51 Drew He's like, let me give this some thought.

1:22:53 Adam Yeah. Here's something I'm going to differentiate between the two Adams. I'm going to put a smiley face on my one. You see the frowny face? You're next. Nine seconds. I'm going three seconds.

1:23:09 Guest I'm going beginning. Oh, immediate. I'm taking your old.

1:23:12 Adam Immediate.

1:23:13 Guest Yeah.

1:23:13 Drew All right.

1:23:13 Guest That worked for you.

1:23:14 Drew All right.

1:23:16 Guest I'll say five seconds.

1:23:17 Drew Five seconds.

1:23:18 Adam Five seconds. Mark has five. Drew has two. Now, you're right in amongst between me and Dayna with the immediate and the two. There could be some controversy, Drew.

1:23:28 Guest Okay, one.

1:23:29 Adam You go one second. This is right one. Interesting.

1:23:32 Guest Closest without being over, though.

1:23:34 Adam Mark. No, no. No being over. Just closest. Mark is five seconds. Drew is one. Dayna's immediate. I'm three. And Adam with the frowny face is nine seconds. Yes?

1:23:46 Caller Yes.

1:23:46 All right.

1:23:47 Caller Chris, you ready there?

1:23:48 Five, four, three, two, one. Go.

1:24:05 Guest One note, too.

1:24:09 Adam And by the way, he was pinched in between the two Adams at nine seconds and three seconds.

1:24:15 Guest I thought Adam was gonna pull it out on his first Mexican Riviera taco enchilada.

1:24:21 Drew Correct, that's all probably correct.

1:24:22 Guest The horns will throw you too. The horns give a little faux accordion sound.

1:24:25 Guest Yeah, I got confused.

1:24:26 Adam It's tough.

1:24:27 Caller No, it's a challenging game.

1:24:29 Guest It is.

1:24:29 Drew This is the stuff I don't like.

1:24:30 Adam You don't like this stuff here?

1:24:31 Drew This music.

1:24:32 Guest Hey everyone, I got a confession to make though, real quick.

1:24:34 Adam Yeah, yes.

1:24:35 Guest I actually hate the show, but I- He doesn't. He's lying.

1:24:44 Adam Alright, Adam. I got rid of him, he's crossed the line.

1:24:55 Guest Who's getting publishing on that?

1:24:57 Guest Trans-Sarrow Countdown, no good. You don't like that game.

1:25:02 Adam By the way, God bless Dayna Devon, by the way. Is this giving this guy a cell phone number like Drew?

1:25:09 Drew The stalker.

1:25:11 Adam Listen, engineer Chris doesn't know my last name. If he's out in the parking lot when I pull out a line-

1:25:20 Drew When you look down.

1:25:21 Adam No, I'll turn left. I don't want him to know which direction I head home.

1:25:24 Guest His enthusiasm was contagious. I'm serious. I mean like-

1:25:28 Guest Yeah, yeah.

1:25:29 Adam The purpose, yeah.

1:25:30 Adam Yeah.

1:25:30 Guest Fantastic.

1:25:31 Guest Yeah.

1:25:31 Guest All right.

1:25:32 Adam He's a bright kid. Too bad he had to go to Celebrity Justice. Let's hope he's not featured in one of the stocking cases.

1:25:38 Guest That's all I'm saying.

1:25:39 Adam Full circle. Ironically, he used to work here.

1:25:42 Right. Right.

1:25:43 Adam Let's take a little break, Drew. Mark McGrath here tonight. Dayna Devon here from X-Dragon. It's seven o'clock. Everyone, NBC will take a quick break. Be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, a man that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Dayna here tonight, Mark here tonight, our new friends from X-R-O-S-T-A-N-E-S-A. Actually, Dayna's a new friend, Mark's an old friend. Seven o'clock, at least out here. Check your local listings on NBC. All right, let's hop back to the phone. So speak to Jessica, who's just 13. Jessica? Jessica, by the way, on hold for 107 minutes. Yep. Drew's so busy telling fanny stories. He had no time for young Jessica. What's up, Jessica?

1:26:59 Caller Oh, cause when I was around six, I was molested by my neighbor.

1:27:05 Adam You were molested by your neighbor? Yeah.

1:27:07 Drew Molested, meaning he had sex with you? What did she do?

1:27:12 Caller She was like touching me.

1:27:14 Adam All right, was she your age or older?

1:27:16 Caller No, actually she's around 12.

1:27:19 Drew At the time?

1:27:20 Guest At the time, and you were?

1:27:25 Drew And what's the question?

1:27:26 Caller Well, I was just wanting to know that, do you think this would affect my relationship with guys, like when I'm older?

1:27:33 Drew Not necessarily. It's funny, these things, there's different thresholds for these sorts of experiences being traumatizing or becoming traumatizing. Some people are very troubled by these things. Others really barely make note of it.

1:27:46 Adam Crappy dad will probably do more in the negative department than the chick who lived next door.

1:27:51 Drew And that's very much to the point, which is that the fact that you were a good victim for somebody who's a victimizer says almost more about you than the fact that you were victimized.

1:28:00 Adam But most six-year-olds, with a 12-year-old, are gonna sort of feel ashamed and be quiet.

1:28:07 Drew Correct, but still the victimizers can just know who the at-risk kids are. Jessica. Was there already stuff going on in your house at that point?

1:28:14 Adam Was there what? Wait, how's your dad? Let me talk to her, Drew. Yes. Your dad's all right. And is he living with the family?

1:28:25 Caller Yeah.

1:28:26 Adam And is he an alcoholic?

1:28:28 Caller No.

1:28:29 Adam And what does he do? Is he do anything with a forklift?

1:28:33 Caller He's a carpenter.

1:28:35 Guest Oh, that's bad. That's bad. All right, all right, racist, alcoholic, pedophile, positive.

1:28:43 Adam Don't get me wrong, I love these guys.

1:28:45 Caller Worked with them all my life.

1:28:47 Adam And so he's a carpenter and him and your mother get along okay and he's never been verbally abusive or any loves you very much. All right, so he's good. You love him, he loves you. Really? It's not a ringing endorsement for dad. Do you love your dad?

1:29:08 Caller Well, we don't get along like a lot, but like, you know.

1:29:11 Drew What kind of, what kind of problems do you have with him? Well, whatever that means.

1:29:21 Adam All right, well, that's a teenage girl thing. But I mean, he was, he's, does he provide, is he good?

1:29:29 Caller But the thing that worried me is that when I told my mom, cause I told my mom, right?

1:29:39 Drew Well, it's important because it's important to you, but it's not necessarily shattering.

1:29:44 Adam Here's the thing, Jessica, you don't want to go through life looking for reasons why you can't have a relationship, you can't have a career, you can't have an education.

1:29:53 Drew Especially to focus on a single thing when it just doesn't sign that the single thing is enough. If you're having those kinds of troubles, there's a more global or we call them a chronic problem going on with your development, something else going on.

1:30:03 Adam I wonder if there's some sort of street cred like a young black kid will get where he has been shot and he grew up in the south side and all this guys, especially later on, you need your street cred as a white guy, it's getting molested. I think it's like, oh really? You think you're tough? I have both grandpas.

1:30:22 Guest Same time.

1:30:25 Adam It was like a parachute of scrotum landing on me. Two guys, average age 78, both going at me. Scrotum parachute, next year to realm.

1:30:36 Guest Adam, I thought you brought up a good point though, that although it's sad and completely unfortunate that this happened, you gotta kind of put it past you and not let this be an excuse for something that you fall back on and make excuses for and that you were a victim. You know what, it sucks it happened, but you gotta go on, you gotta pick yourself up by your bootstraps.

1:30:54 Drew There's some victimization that changes your brain. Your brain will just not function normally ever again, or at least not until some treatment goes into effect. But this does not sound like that kind of a shattering trauma. So it is the kind of thing that she should be able to sort of volitionally have some influence over and get over, like you guys were saying.

1:31:11 Adam Right, and it seems like society, or at least the people we speak to, can be broken up into two halves. One is the ones who need help and are ignoring it. They were ritualistically abused, and they're saying, well, that was three years ago. It's not affecting me now, although I'm cutting on myself with a syringe, by the way, that I'm about to inject myself with. But that doesn't matter to me. And then they're the ones who are making something out of something that doesn't, you know. At 13, yeah, it's sort of, you have to do one or the other, it almost feels like. You need to focus, her home life does, it sounds a little less than great, but focus on your school, focus on your friends. When home life isn't good, have buddies, have friends. Go do something, and then go off to college somewhere, and then get on the radio and start paying them back. That's right.

1:31:56 Drew Stable relationships outside the home, particularly with adults, very helpful.

1:32:00 Adam All right, let's, there's been on hold the longest, Drew. Oh, right here, talk to Erin. Erin, 24? What's up? What's going on?

1:32:12 Drew Hello.

1:32:14 Adam Hello, what's your question?

1:32:17 Caller I have a question. When I have sex and I don't come, it's fun, I like it. But when I do come and I actually, it kind of itches myself.

1:32:30 Drew What is this accent?

1:32:32 Caller When I come, it itches me.

1:32:36 Guest I see, okay.

1:32:38 Drew That's somebody else, it itches her.

1:32:41 Guest Right.

1:32:41 Drew It itches her.

1:32:42 Guest Right, it itches you where?

1:32:46 Caller If he comes, his ejaculation does not itch me. If I come myself, it itches me.

1:32:52 Guest It itches you where though, inside your body or outside your body, like where?

1:32:58 Adam Both, inside and outside. Right, it itches.

1:33:05 Drew When you say come, are you talking about something coming out of you or just an orgasm?

1:33:09 Caller Myself, when I have an orgasm, it physically itches me down there.

1:33:13 Adam Well, sweater comes flying out of it.

1:33:16 Guest I've seen it before, Drew.

1:33:17 Adam It's great during cold weather, but summer, it's a bitch during the summer. Well, Erin. She's dying. Are you from anywhere or is this just the valley talking? Are you from a country other than this one? Okay. Okay, hold on a second. Drew, I grew up in the valley. This is-

1:33:42 Drew That's the flood valley?

1:33:44 Adam Yeah, I don't come down myself and it itched me.

1:33:48 Drew Itch is in me.

1:33:50 Adam And it tasted salty.

1:33:53 Guest But I'm actually curious about this itching.

1:33:56 Drew Well, I'm not sure.

1:33:58 Adam I'm gonna put together hypotheses here, which is she doesn't always have an orgasm.

1:34:03 Drew Correct.

1:34:04 Caller I got that.

1:34:04 Adam Those are shorter sessions. When she does have an orgasm, it's a prolonged session.

1:34:08 Caller So she just feels irritated afterward.

1:34:10 Adam Irritation.

1:34:12 Drew It's not just itching, Aaron, it's irritation, right?

1:34:15 Caller Aaron.

1:34:17 Caller Yeah.

1:34:18 Adam Aaron.

1:34:18 Caller Yes. It physically itches.

1:34:21 Guest It doesn't like hurt, it itches.

1:34:24 Caller Right, like I mean, I don't want to scratch it, it itches. Right, right. It doesn't feel like an irritation, like it's rubbing where it's almost raw.

1:34:32 Drew How long you had this one?

1:34:37 Caller It doesn't happen every time. I've noticed it over probably the past about six months or so.

1:34:46 Drew All right, Dayna wants to say something.

1:34:48 Guest I was going to ask you, I was going to ask you if she has some kind of infection.

1:34:52 Drew Well, yeah, that's the one thing whether it's-

1:34:54 Guest Because if you don't cure, and I hate, men die when you say the word yeast infection. Because if you have like a yeast infection and you don't really treat it completely, can it kind of hang around?

1:35:06 Drew It can smolder around and it can be difficult to get rid of them and some women have chronic recurrent yeast infection. There is now a pill you can take that tends to be very good at eradicating these things, but some women need the prolonged basic treatment.

1:35:18 Adam I'm putting Erin on hold because I don't-

1:35:20 Drew All we can say is that she's not tracking really.

1:35:23 Adam Is that what it is?

1:35:24 Drew Something, but all we can say is that that suggests irritation. And we've all sort of picked up on that whether it's because of a yeast infection or other sort of vaginitis or excessive activity, whatever. The itching thing, the irritation is usually from some sort of inflammation of the lining. Why it is associated with your having had an orgasm is difficult to understand. The important thing, though, for you is to go get a pelvic exam, get checked, make sure there's not something medical causing this. There isn't, it's not real life, there's anything you can do to stop this, I'm afraid.

1:35:52 Adam Itching, and by the way, I've had more coherent conversations with thawed cavemen. They were screaming at the sun, calling it a burning ball. I was trying to get them to focus, but eventually found some common ground. Like a language barrier here, that I'm not sure we can ever overcome. By the way, itching on the inside, I could only imagine, like, it's like, is it the equivalent of like wearing a cast and trying to get the coat hanger in there, put a chopstick down there.

1:36:26 Guest Coat hanger up there, generally bad. I mean, I'm not a doctor. Right.

1:36:30 Drew Generally, yeah, I think generally coat hanger bad.

1:36:32 Adam Even those padded ones with a little bow on it.

1:36:35 Guest Well, that's just a dry cleaner, like the fancy dry cleaner.

1:36:38 Drew Yeah, the really padded ones for the-

1:36:40 Guest You can even get potpourri in there. Yeah, right. Those are okay, probably, right?

1:36:44 Drew Those are good for the vagina.

1:36:45 Adam Honey, you smell like cedar down, don't ask.

1:36:48 Caller Yeah.

1:36:49 Guest Well, they can have like rose scent. You know, like-

1:36:52 Caller Yeah, actually, I've talked to my doctor about it and I've been tested for everything.

1:36:56 Adam I don't physically have it. Okay, Erin, here's my question. What is the difference between the times you have the orgasm and the times you don't have the orgasm?

1:37:05 Drew In terms of the activity.

1:37:06 Adam Is it-

1:37:06 Drew The interaction.

1:37:08 Caller The only thing that I can place it with, maybe, is shaving with a razor. I don't know if it's fresh when I shave. If I itch-

1:37:19 Guest But if you're itching inside-

1:37:20 Adam Hold on, didn't we ask what the difference though? She said foreplay.

1:37:24 Guest Erin, here's the thing about foreplay.

1:37:26 Adam Is the session longer when you have the orgasm?

1:37:29 Drew Or are you having orgasm only with oral sex, with only the intercourse, or what?

1:37:32 Caller It's just basically any time I have a full-on orgasm, whether-

1:37:37 Guest Full-on, full-on, full-on, dude.

1:37:40 Caller Erin, come on, dude.

1:37:41 Adam Here's the thing.

1:37:42 Guest What are we talking about?

1:37:43 Adam You're lucky we don't care, because that's what I'm gonna say to you. So otherwise it would drive myself insane. I was trying to figure out- She only has the itching with the orgasm. She decided-

1:37:53 Guest I think you're not gonna find out.

1:37:54 Adam No, no, no. And you know what?

1:37:56 Guest I think it's who shot-

1:37:57 Drew It's Jeff. You know, it's like talking to Bats.

1:37:59 Guest Yeah.

1:38:00 Drew It's like talking to Primitive Man. Dude. That's right.

1:38:02 Adam Well, take yourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:38:05 Guest Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up?

1:38:10 Guest Why can't I meet anybody? But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

1:38:21 Guest 877-889-DATE. This hour brought to you in part by AXE. Experience the AXE Effect.

1:38:47 Adam Hey, everybody. Dayna Devon. God bless you, sweetie pea. And Mark McGrath, always a dear, dear friend. Always good to see you. Mark, great, doing a great job on the show. Thank you. Instant chemistry.

1:39:00 Guest Thanks for having us, man. I appreciate it. It's always been good to me.

1:39:03 Adam Our pleasure. Extra, everyone, check local listings, NBC every day. And weekends, too. There's a weekend show, right?

1:39:12 Guest Yes.

1:39:13 Adam You guys come back anytime you like.

1:39:18 Drew We got a free night.

1:39:19 Adam Hey, we're ready. So, until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:39:24 Guest Ace's Ranchero Countdown, no good. You don't like that game.

1:39:29 Guest This has been Loveline.

1:39:34 Adam Opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station.

1:39:40 Guest Sponsors or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:39:44 Adam Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, November 29, 2004