Episode 1000662185608

0:09 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:10 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. The description is biased.

0:19 Voiceover This is Loveline.

0:25 Voiceover With Adam Corolla and Dr. Dre. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Yeah, buddy.

0:38 Drew Do we have to have our conversation interrupted by the show again? Really, it's annoying.

0:42 Get it on.

0:43 Adam Drew and I got in early tonight. I mean, really early.

0:45 Weird.

0:46 Adam Yeah, eerily early.

0:48 Drew Yeah, it scared me.

0:48 Adam Got in about 9, 54, 37 seconds or something.

0:53 Drew You know what? Some of that, as you said, is because you expected to see tomorrow night's guests here tonight, which I understand, but because we've known Mark for a long time. Mark McGrath's coming in tomorrow night.

1:01 Adam Right.

1:02 Drew But didn't it seem like we had more than one day off?

1:07 Adam Oh, from here?

1:07 Drew Yes.

1:08 Adam Yeah.

1:08 Drew It felt like a week off.

1:09 Adam Yeah. Well, Drew and I got a little gypped because most people got Thursday, Friday off, and we don't work Fridays, so we got Thursday off. But it did feel like a very extended weekend.

1:20 Drew I think it's because neither of us have been apart for a long time, working straight then.

1:24 Adam Well, I miss you, brother.

1:25 Drew I did. I miss you, too.

1:26 Adam I think it was good for us, though. My whole thing about love is it's like a bird. You let it fly away, and if it comes back...

1:33 Drew Here we are.

1:34 Adam Yeah, here we are. If you pay it, it'll come back, and then that's love. You know what I'm saying?

1:39 Drew That's how it works.

1:45 Adam So, I was in a pumpkin pie sort of glaze, semi-coma, the whole week, basically what I did is I had one pumpkin pie left from Thanksgiving, and I did it in quarters, I didn't see Friday, Saturday, Sunday, uh-oh, it's gone, unless we eat more than a quarter. The point is, is I woke up every morning, poured myself a cup of coffee and ate a quarter slab of pumpkin pie, and I was thinking to myself, I could easily do this, yeah, this could be a morning ritual, a cup of coffee, huge slab of pumpkin pie. That's fantastic. So, I ate like a maniac. What did you do, Drew?

2:22 Drew Ate like a maniac. Very good, yeah.

2:24 Adam Drew is a man of passion.

2:27 Drew Passion overflowed this weekend.

2:28 Adam Yeah.

2:29 Drew That's bad. Did it seem though, I think we talked about this last week a little bit, that people were sort of extra thankful this year. You know what I said?

2:36 Adam Yeah.

2:36 Drew A lot of people sort of taking a beat and saying thanks for things. I don't know what that was, the war or what?

2:42 Adam Yeah. But then I mentioned you say that every year. I don't know if you do. But it's easy to say that because you can never remember. It was a year ago. It's kind of a cheap shot. We've got things to talk about. We've got calls to take to and those remind me of things to talk about. Cat?

2:59 Yeah.

2:59 Adam You're 16?

3:00 Caller Mm-hmm.

3:01 Adam What's up?

3:02 Caller Well, I just kind of got out of a relationship with a guy that he was a really nice guy at first. And then he turned into kind of like he started rejecting me.

3:14 Why?

3:15 Caller Well, I told him about my past and he was really supportive, you know, because I was raped and molested. And I told him about my home life, which sucks. And he went to his friends, told his friends, you know, things. And his friends came back and told him that I'm a slut and I look like a dyke or a guy or whatever they said.

3:41 All right.

3:42 Adam Well, Kat, you've been through a lot. And it's always hard to address these ones because when you've been abused like you've been abused, you you end up getting a here's what I want to say.

3:53 Drew You find abuse one way or the other.

3:54 Adam You go through life with a crappy translator.

3:56 Drew Yeah.

3:57 Adam I mean, it's hard to find a good translator. If you if you really sort of think about it, everyone sort of has the equivalent of a translator who all the information must pass through to get to them because it's them.

4:11 Drew Right.

4:11 Adam It's very easy to hear other people have conversations and criticisms and critiques. But when it comes to you, people have a translator and some people's translators are wildly off.

4:21 Drew Broke.

4:21 Adam Like somebody says, wow, boy, you really ate right over Thanksgiving. Oh, he called me fat. He said I was fat. I was I was attacked. Yeah, there's those people out there. It's actually most of the people. And most time people get things sort of half right. The smarter you are and the more self aware you are, the more the more accurate your translator is.

4:42 Drew Generally speaking.

4:43 Adam When you've been abused, you get a crappy translator and you hook up with people.

4:48 Drew That's right.

4:48 Adam You got to abuse your translator.

4:50 Drew You get it both ways.

4:51 Adam That's right.

4:52 Drew And so the really the hard part is for those of us listening to the stories to to interpret, is it the translator or is it who she's attracted to?

4:58 Adam And we'll go with both.

4:59 Drew Both.

5:00 Adam Kat? All right. So how old is this guy? Well, is this thing over with?

5:08 Caller Yeah, definitely. I mean, he's not ready for a woman. He's right now going out with a 13-year-old girl.

5:15 Adam Fantastic.

5:16 Drew Okay. So there we go.

5:17 Adam God bless him. We wish him all the best.

5:20 Drew So there we go. Here he is. He's sort of a bad guy and abuser. Naturally enough, you're attracted to bad guys.

5:26 Adam Yeah.

5:26 Drew That's sort of the way you're... Not only is your translator off, your radar is off.

5:30 Adam Yeah.

5:30 Drew So you're going forward with the skew, the compass spinning as well.

5:34 Adam Yeah. The guys aren't going to cure you. And they may make you feel better, but then they make you feel worse. It's not a cure.

5:42 Drew Well, yeah. You're not going to make better the traumas of the past.

5:45 Adam Right. So how about a little therapy, Kat?

5:48 Caller I've been going through a lot of that and I've actually changed a lot. And it was one of the things that he didn't see at all.

5:58 Adam Okay. Well, good. He looked, he didn't appreciate you, he didn't deserve you. He's a bad guy. You made a mistake.

6:03 Drew Fine.

6:03 Adam Everyone does it.

6:05 Drew Yeah.

6:05 Adam Don't get pregnant, get your grades up, move away, go to college.

6:09 Drew Don't take his behavior out on yourself. Good try again, be careful. Don't go after a guy that you're super attracted to because those are likely to be the guys that are like this.

6:17 Adam There's nothing wrong with you.

6:18 Drew Boring guys and then careful with your translator. Realize that you may be hyper, you may react, you may be sensitive to things, you may react to things and try to listen to what really is being said when people talk to you.

6:29 Adam All right. Fantabulous. You ready to rock here? Let me say this, Drew. Yeah, say this. I know you think we're going to keep moving but we're not. I was speaking of traffic in this town. I was. Oh yeah.

6:41 Drew Yeah. We haven't shared with people our experience driving home on Thanksgiving Eve night.

6:45 Adam Lots of people drunk and meandering on the road.

6:48 Drew Remember we drove home with a new group of people though.

6:51 Adam Yeah.

6:51 Drew And we knew it, it was weird.

6:52 Adam Yeah, Drew and I drive this route like a milkman every night, you know? Just boring milkman in a rugged milkman. Yeah, we speed and when you hit the freeway at exactly the same time and take exactly the same route and you do it over the course of 10 years, you notice when something is different. And I was thinking to myself, and Drew and I always speak on the cell phones on the way home.

7:18 Drew We don't get enough time to talk on the show, God knows.

7:20 Adam No, we're not able to do what we're doing now. So we speak and I was thinking to myself, boy, this is a new crowd. This isn't the crowd I drive with every night. This is a new roster here. And Drew, as I was thinking that, said that. And I don't know how that works, but we can tell it was a different crew.

7:37 Drew I go, look at this, see that Bentley? What are these two 18-wheelers doing here? Without trailers, that's weird. And then we drove on a little bit and I said, you know what, these aren't our people. We're not driving with our people tonight.

7:46 Adam No, they were new crew.

7:47 Drew They were driving bigger cars, nicer cars.

7:49 Adam Thanksgiving crew.

7:50 Drew Yeah.

7:51 Adam I don't know where they were going. But the point, and some were drunk.

7:55 Drew Some were drunk, yeah.

7:56 Adam All right, so here's what I want to say. I was driving in Los Angeles as if things aren't bad enough on the roads. They install these cameras in the intersection. Take your picture and give you a ticket.

8:10 Drew Sometimes those are phony.

8:11 Adam Yeah, shocking. Oh, really?

8:13 Drew Oh, yes.

8:14 Adam What about that?

8:15 Drew They put this, some of them, only some of them are actually active. They still flash at you, but they don't actually take your picture.

8:21 Adam But are they malfunctioning? Are they not hooked up? Are they supposed to be decoys?

8:26 Drew They are decoys.

8:27 Adam Really?

8:28 Drew They only activate a couple of them at the same time.

8:30 Adam Gotta get people to slow it down. The point is Los Angeles, we gotta slow it down. Gridlock, is there anything slower in gridlock? What are we supposed to do? Start tunneling into our own anuses? Well, that would slow us down a little bit. So there's this, now this is why, by the way, you shouldn't have a front license plate on your car if you're in Los Angeles. Go ahead and take that license plate off. You can get a ticket, a fix-it ticket. Better to have it off, though. In general, car looks better, and you can just say you got in an accident, got mashed.

9:00 Drew Would they give you a fix-it ticket if you had it in your trunk and just pull it right out right there and the cop stops you and just put it on?

9:05 Adam Yes.

9:05 Drew You still have to go prove that you...

9:07 Adam Hold on, Drew, you couldn't put on a pair of goddamn sunglasses if a cop was standing outside your car without screwing it up. You think you're gonna go to your trunk and go put it on in front? You called AAA when you got a flat and your car was at home, was in the garage.

9:19 Drew I've done license, oh yes. I do that. Pussy. Absolutely.

9:24 Adam Well, what are you talking about? You couldn't do that.

9:26 Drew I could put a light split on.

9:27 Adam You think so?

9:28 Drew That I could do. The question is, would you allow me to do it?

9:30 Adam Do you have a screwdriver?

9:31 Drew No, I'm saying if you prepared yourself and just kept pulling it in the back of the car, would they allow you to do that and withhold the ticket or would they say, hey, you gotta go to City Hall and prove that you did this anyway?

9:40 Adam It just depends on who you get. Usually, they're trying to generate money and then oftentimes, they'll give you the ticket when you're not in the car. They'll give you the ticket when the car's parked. You'll see a ticket, you'll say what? The meter's not expired and then you'll get it and say, oh, it's for illegal tint or whatever. That's one of those Los Angeles, specially Santa Monica things, by the way. Oh yeah, People's Republic of Santa Monica. Well, the thing is, when you got to support all the homeless people, it's important to rape the populace who does actually pay taxes. I mean, that's their motto. Burbank, I'm sure, does a lot of that, or Rape Bank does a lot of that too. The point is, is I'm driving down La Brea, I'm heading for the intersection I know has the signal in it. Now, I time the signals or drive accordingly, which is, I'm two, three hundred feet away from the intersection, I'm looking to see how many times the red thing is blinking on the don't walk thing. Now's the time to speed up or slow down. Are you gonna go for it, are you gonna make it? The problem is the signal's now entered. This has thrown a new wrinkle in my scheme. The camera. Yeah, the camera, sorry. So, now it's like you get in your head a little bit. Well, I'm doing 42, if I get on it a little bit, I think I can make it, but these things aren't calibrated that great. A lot of times, they're a little trigger happy, shocking the problems they've had with them of them going off a couple beats too early, never too late, of course. So, I could get a ticket. So, I get in my head a little and I go, ah, screw it, and I said, last minute, sort of slow down kind of thing. And I thought, wow, I almost went sliding out in the intersection because it was raining. And I thought, I wonder what, I can't be the only person that does this. This must happen all the time. I wonder if people, I'm sitting at the red light thinking about this. Some guy gets rear-ended because this signal is yellow. He panics and hits the brake and the guy behind him who would have easily made it through matches into him. So there you go, everybody. That's it. That's the city at work for you. Never think about that. All right, fantastic. Slow us down a little more. Fantabulous. Fantabulous, everybody. Are you ready to rock here, Drew?

11:41 Caller Will? Yeah.

11:43 Adam Yeah. What's up?

11:45 Caller I just want to say, first of all, that I love you guys. I've been listening to you guys for so many years now.

11:49 Adam Thanks.

11:51 Caller But first question I had, because I have two, the first question was, I'm uncircumcised and I have like a white, whitish film over my head of my penis.

12:04 Drew Does it come off?

12:06 Well, sometimes it does, but sometimes it still stays there.

12:10 Adam Well, you could wash it off though, right?

12:12 Caller Well, yeah, that's when it comes off. But sometimes, like even when I do try to wash it off, it won't come off.

12:17 Adam Smells like, you know, when you take the brine, you put it in the oven in the little basket of bread. Same consistency. Same smell. That's an acquired taste. Go ahead, Will. Chicks dig it though.

12:29 Drew They like that.

12:30 Adam Oh, they love scuba.

12:31 What you call it?

12:34 Caller I should just wash it off, right?

12:37 Drew Yes, yes. And then dry.

12:38 Adam Yeah, you need the dry.

12:39 Drew The dry piece may be more important than the wash off.

12:41 Adam Let me say this. Uncircumcised guys should have a hair...

12:47 Drew A new invention.

12:49 Adam A blower. No.

12:50 Drew Penis blower.

12:51 Adam Yeah, penis blower. Yeah, Drew's name in it is, well, it is Dorman College. Penis blow dryer. No, yours is just blower. But yes, the blow dryer, the one you whack with your palm of your hand, very satisfying, punching that big button.

13:07 Drew Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

13:08 Adam At the airport. And any button more satisfying than that big old chrome round button.

13:14 Drew They've done it with a lot of airports, you just put your hands under it and it turns on.

13:17 Adam You know, and they don't realize that's one of the, that's why I travel. No, I travel so I can go to the airport and hit that button on the blower thing. And it's a, by the way.

13:29 Drew You didn't know those existed until you started traveling.

13:31 Adam Nobody, at least they have a gas stations and stuff like that. Nobody, by the way, ever pushes that button with a finger or a thumb. And you hit that thing like George Foreman. It's just like pow! I mean, take this, it's certain excitement about whacking that thing.

13:46 Drew It's a clock size.

13:47 Adam Button the size of a hubcap and you have to punch it like it's some sort of circus game or something like you're at the carnival.

13:53 Drew Right.

13:53 Adam And you whack that thing and it just blows away. I always feel weird when I'm walking away and it's still going. And then I whack it again like I'm gonna shut it. And then I think, wait, did I reset it? And I don't know if anyone really knows the answer to that question. Like, if you whack it again.

14:07 Drew Does it just keep, does it just run or?

14:09 Adam Yeah, if I hired a guy to stand there and punch it every 15 seconds, would it keep running? But you need one of those about growing height. As a matter of fact, in general, it couldn't hurt. You know what I'm saying?

14:21 Drew Could you have a little tube that you stuck the No. The schvanz in?

14:24 Adam No, it's too involved. And there's parts and it could choke on it.

14:29 Drew But I don't trust these guys. They still gotta fold the skin down and hold it there until it dries.

14:33 Adam Right. No, no, no, but in general, just having that sort of warm typhoon blowing on your junk would be nice. It would be nice for all men. I should say. You get a little.

14:43 Drew Probably would.

14:44 Adam You get a little hair down there. You get a little sack down there. Traps a little moisture. You put the shorts on.

14:48 Drew In your case, get the paper mache going.

14:50 Adam Yeah. No, that's a good plan, Drew.

14:53 Drew Papierre mache.

14:54 Adam I'm gonna work on it. Yeah, see.

14:56 Drew Really, I mean, it's almost like it's weird that there hasn't been a hygiene product like that. Cause these guys get, what'd you call them? Scubba.

15:03 Adam Scubba. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't know.

15:06 Drew Is it an acronym for something?

15:07 Adam No, it's just scubba. It's just one of those words that sounds like what it is. You know? All right, you ready to rock here? Let's talk to Brandon, 25. Brandon? Yeah, how you doing? Frosting is one of those words that sounds like what it is. It's frost. Yeah, picture frosting when you say frosting. See? And lard, thankfully one of us wants to. Brandon?

15:33 Yeah.

15:33 Adam You're 25?

15:35 Caller Yes, sir.

15:36 Adam Engineer Chris?

15:38 Drew I'm sorry, wait a second, Brandon, hang on.

15:39 Adam You know what lard is?

15:40 Drew Yeah. You like what it sounds like?

15:43 You need it to cook or something.

15:44 Adam You know what it is, huh?

15:46 Caller Not really, you just need it to cook.

15:47 Adam But you know what it's made of? No. Okay.

15:50 Drew Ever heard of lard ass?

15:52 Adam Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, all right, all right. It's just fat. Brandon?

15:59 Caller Yes sir.

16:00 Adam You're 25? Yes. What's going on?

16:05 Caller Basically, it's been about two years. I found out my wife cheated on me with somebody online.

16:11 Drew Two years ago or across the two years?

16:14 Caller It was about two years from now that I found out about it. So it's been two years ago, so.

16:20 Adam How did you find out? How'd you find out?

16:23 Caller Basically, I confronted her on it. I knew something was going on.

16:27 Drew How did you know something was going on?

16:29 Adam I confronted her on it.

16:32 Drew Well, I mean, he's concrete. I confronted her. She told me. That's how I found out. Right, right, right. He skipped the part where we got suspicious because.

16:41 Caller Yeah.

16:42 Drew What made you think you needed to confront her?

16:46 Caller Basically, she is an extremely efficient person. She gets a lot done in a day. A lot done in a day.

16:55 Drew No wonder you're suspicious.

16:56 Adam Yeah. What's that?

16:58 Caller Her productivity fell off. She wouldn't get as much done in a day that she normally does. She was acting strangely towards me.

17:05 Adam So you just assumed she was having an affair.

17:08 Caller Yeah, I ended up being right.

17:10 Adam Yeah. But really, no guys, no phone numbers, no messages, nothing you intercepted off the Internet or anything?

17:18 Caller No, actually, I checked the phone bill as well. I did find a phone number on there that didn't belong and called the number.

17:24 Drew Why didn't you think drug addict or just buying drugs or something?

17:27 Caller Well, she's actually a teacher.

17:29 Adam All right, but did you call the phone number?

17:32 Caller Yeah, I called the phone number.

17:33 Adam And a dude answered?

17:35 Caller Yeah, I did.

17:37 Adam Hey, Brandon? That's how you found out she cheated?

17:42 Caller Yeah, true that. But I did confront her on it and she did admit to it.

17:46 Caller All right.

17:47 Adam I'm just saying, we don't have to like, how'd you find out she cheated? She's a clean freak.

17:53 Caller Okay.

17:54 Adam Get to the part where you have found the phone. Actually, you didn't even get to that part. I got to that part. I'm the one who had to tell you that you found the phone number and called the guy.

18:03 Caller You did.

18:03 Adam All right. I don't know why I ask people. I should have asked myself. Adam, how did Brandon's wife, how do you find out Brandon? Well, I'm glad you asked me that. All right, Brandon. So two years ago.

18:13 Drew You discovered, had she been having it for long?

18:16 Caller It went on for about six months.

18:19 Drew And did she stop when you confronted her?

18:21 Caller So she says.

18:23 Drew And how long have you guys been together?

18:24 Caller Seven years.

18:26 Drew How long have you been dating? I mean, how long have you been married?

18:29 Caller Married, let's see, four and a half years.

18:31 Adam Four and a half years.

18:32 Drew So three years and you're married.

18:34 Adam Now she told, she readily told you, admitted it, which usually means they're trying to, well, trying to send you a message too. You know what I'm saying?

18:45 Caller Well, I asked her why the number was on there.

18:48 Drew No, no, no, no, no. Oh, Brandon.

18:49 Adam Yeah, I know.

18:50 Drew It was a feudalist for a living.

18:51 Adam I know. But she, what do you do for a living, Brandon?

18:56 Caller I work for a home improvement store.

19:02 Drew But what might make her sort of frustrated with the relationship and want to kind of get back at you, so to speak?

19:08 Caller You know, at the risk of saying this on the radio, she told me that it was purely sexual.

19:15 Adam Really? But, but she would say that just to F with you.

19:19 Drew Right. It's not.

19:20 Adam Something's not gelling. I mean, here's why women cheat. Okay, we'll give you two, we'll give you two options. It's A or B. You ready, Brandon? And then by the way, I got a little home improvement quiz for you before we let you go.

19:32 Drew Here's option A.

19:33 Adam Option A, you've not been listening. She's been trying to talk to you. She's been wanting you to be more intimate with her. I don't mean more sex. I just mean pay attention, look her in the eye, spend more time. She's not listening.

19:46 Drew Things that hurt.

19:47 Adam Do all the stuff you haven't, you've been ignoring and she's been telling you and now she's sending a message. There's that. B, chaos.

19:55 Drew Sexual abuse.

19:56 Adam She just comes from a chaotic family. Her mom cheated on her dad. There was alcohol.

20:00 Drew There's an Airbnb.

20:01 Adam So which one is it?

20:03 Drew All right. So, so she, and then by the way, this still to me smacks of addict behavior.

20:08 Adam What's her, what's her, now did her mom cheat on her dad or vice versa or there's alcohol or what? Actually, a little both.

20:16 Drew I think she's got the ism. She got the gene. Even though you say she's a teacher and I understand she'd be hard to hide it.

20:21 Adam All right.

20:22 Drew This is kind of an addict move.

20:23 Adam Yeah. Now does, does she, does she drink? Does she do anything like that?

20:27 Caller No, actually, no, really her only thing is sex.

20:31 Adam All right.

20:31 Drew Well. And is she a sexual compulsive? Is she sexually addicted?

20:35 Caller I wouldn't say addictive, but compulsive might be a good word.

20:39 Drew Well, if you add the gene of addiction to the history that you're describing in your wife, that meets criteria for addiction, not compulsion. It may not be obvious to you that it's compulsive, that it's addictive, but really all you have to do is look at the history here and realize that the consequences are what is defining it as addiction. And if it's affecting relationships, affecting financial status, affecting health, you got addiction going on here.

20:59 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

21:02 Caller Yeah. My overall question was, you know, we have a son together. He's 15 months old. We don't fight readily in front of him. We don't actually fight even apart that much. We get along relatively well despite our past.

21:17 Caller Mm-hmm.

21:18 Caller But, you know, divorce is a serious thing for a child. I'm from a divorced family. And I was wondering, you know, is this something that we should try to stick out, being how we are, at least half-assed getting along?

21:28 Adam Well, here's the thing, Brandon. Can you forgive her and move on if she makes a concerted effort? Because I think the number one thing you have to ask yourself if your wife cheats on you or vice versa, can you forgive the person if they're able to, you know, get into counseling or do whatever it's going to take to move on? Some people can't. I don't, I understand that. I mean, I respect it in a certain way. And if you can't, admit it and go your separate ways.

21:56 Drew There's actually a question a little bit ahead of that, which is, are you committed? Can you commit in spite of not being able to forgive at this point in time? Because sometimes people can learn to forgive later if they'll commit to some kind of treatment.

22:08 Caller That's probably where I'm at right now, because I definitely haven't forgiven her.

22:11 Drew Go get her. But you're going to have to participate in treatment as much as she. And she's got to be willing and really interested in treatment. You can't maintain the status quo. Because although you're kind of getting along, you don't want to rock the boat, I promise you there's more things ahead for you. And unless you do something to change trajectory, i.e. treatment, this is not going to be a great history going forward.

22:32 Adam Hey, Brandon. Quick home improvement quiz. What does OSB stand for?

22:42 Caller It's a particle board. I'm not sure what it actually stands for though.

22:46 Adam Alright, fair enough. MDF?

22:50 Caller MDF?

22:54 Adam That's a medium density fiber board.

22:57 Drew Get a plumbing question going.

22:58 Caller Get help from me. Actually, my specialty is electrical.

23:01 Drew Electrical?

23:02 Caller Alright.

23:03 Drew Get him like an electrical floor or something.

23:06 Adam Alright. Electrical. You got your four gang box, your two gang box.

23:12 Caller Your...

23:16 Adam I don't know. You guys carry variable Romax?

23:18 Caller Yep.

23:19 Adam Alright. Fourteen gauge?

23:22 Caller Yes.

23:23 Adam Fantastic. I'm going to need a couple hundred feet of that and some LBs and some Mexicans. Can you bring them by the house?

23:32 Caller They can probably supply the Mexicans.

23:34 Adam Alright. You're going to bring them over there. Iowa. You're in Iowa.

23:36 Caller You're in Iowa.

23:37 Adam Do they hang out in front of the store looking to pick up some work? They actually do. Yeah. I'm telling you. That's a proud warrior there.

23:46 Drew I don't know what we would do with Mexicans.

23:50 Adam I'll explain to you during the break. It's not bad.

23:53 Drew It'd be cool. There'd be no food.

23:55 Adam There'd be no food.

23:56 Drew We would not be able to buy, go to a restaurant or live in a structure.

24:01 Adam You know what? You know what? I don't believe that. I don't.

24:04 Drew Who would pick it up?

24:05 Adam Well, here's the thing. You see, you're thinking like a rich, white guy. I'm literally a millionaire, as you know. But you're a poor, white guy. No, when I got out of high school, it was a really bad time for jobs. And I was, you know, barely had an education, was not going off to college, knew anybody. But the point is, there's plenty of people who get out of high school that need work. And I mean, I took more carpet cleaning and I couldn't find work just picking up trash on a construction site.

24:33 Drew I think that's a little bit of your historical perspective. You talk to some of these kids around here at the radio station. They're going, hmm, I think I wanted to run the Jurassic Park ride at Universal Studios. So I went over there. That was what I did for a while. And then I wanted to work at Jack of the Bucks. I did that for a while. There's work everywhere.

24:49 Adam Yeah, I know. Chris, the engineer, Chris wants to be a mayor of Disneyland, he told me during the last break. He says he wants to climb the Matterhorn.

24:59 Drew Mr. Mayor?

24:59 Adam Mr. Mayor? He wants a job where he wears a top hat. I'm going to apply tomorrow.

25:03 Drew Yeah. I need to speak to the governor of California Adventure.

25:06 Adam Yeah.

25:06 Drew Because I need to get my kids in there.

25:08 Adam Well, here's my point, Drew. There's always people that fill crappy jobs. There are. I'm going to explain to you during the break. We'll talk about it. We'll take a quick break. When we come back, speak to what? The potential risk of Prince Howard penis piercings after this.

25:25 Caller Love Line, we'll be right back.

25:38 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-ER. Mark McGrath is in here tomorrow night, and Dana Devon is also in here from Extra. I gotta talk to her about that spelling of the name. D-A-Y-N-A. And here's the problem when people screw with their names. It doesn't register. Like, I'm staring at it as I'm reading Mark's name, and I'm staring at Dana's name, and I'm thinking, I'm gonna come to this name in a couple of seconds. I wonder how it's gonna come out of my mouth.

26:10 Drew Right.

26:10 Adam Because it's not gonna come out like, it doesn't feel like Dana to me.

26:12 Drew And by the way, when it comes time to recall her name, it's not as though that sticks better.

26:17 Adam No.

26:17 Drew Sticks worse.

26:18 Adam That's right, that's right. All right, Red Rock had a lovely experience last night, by the way, if you live out in Southern California area, it was windy last night. Nutty, crazy, novelty, windy. And cold. Cold and super nutty, windy, and four 10 a.m., the kitchen window of my house blew open. And I mean, it's three foot across, it's four foot high, and it's on a hinge. It blew open, it came big time. Of course, on the side of the house where the wind was coming from, naturally. So the alarm went off at four 10 a.m. And it's just, I think to myself, with the earthquakes, with this kind of stuff, the power outages and stuff, really. By the way, I go to bed at two, two 30, gets light at five 45. It's not a big window of when I'm disoriented. You know what I mean?

27:17 Drew When horrible things happen.

27:18 Adam But the horrible things happen at this crazy, I mean, we've had the alarm, you know, had the alarm go off a couple of times. What is that?

27:26 Drew Why does every earthquake have to be between four 30 and six?

27:29 Adam So every earthquake. Every once so you can be completely disoriented. So it's not even between four 30 and six. It's between three 45 and five a.m. I mean, it is peak REM time. You've never been further out. So it means like the earthquake hits, you spend the first few seconds processing it in a dream. What's going on? Did somebody fart in my dream? What is it?

27:56 Drew But what's scary, what's awful about that is your body still is going right ahead and reacting. Your pulse is now 150.

28:01 Adam Right, right, so you know, 410, alarms going off. By the way, the window's blown open and you know, stuff's blowing off the kitchen counter and it's like flopping and banging around. Of course, I'm upstairs, all I hear is ruckus in the alarm going off and ruckus in the kitchen. So I'm gonna head down with my half a boner in my underpants to see what's going on. The wife calls the dog into the bedroom. Of course, nice. Yeah, dog, now's your chance to shine, boy. Get down there. We may have a code three. That dog's gonna wag its tail and lick. The dog goes into the bedroom.

28:40 Drew That's probably the best place for him. That dog?

28:44 Adam No, at least distract whoever it is and pump a few rounds into the dog while I'm heading out the front door.

28:50 Drew Good point.

28:50 Adam Yeah, so things just work.

28:52 Drew Before he hits the wire.

28:52 Adam Oh, it's just that, yeah, it's just disoriented for, and then, by the way, I'm up. Now I'm up because I got woken up with basically a hot foot. I'm up like a hup. I'm up now. Oh, now I'm pacing around. By the way, here's the thing. It's sort of like when you have a really bad dream, which is, all right, no one's in the house. Well, there's a 10% chance someone's in the house. It's much, it's not that there's definitely no one in the house. It's just a lower percentage of what it was five minutes ago. Five minutes ago.

29:24 Drew Definitely, somebody's in the house.

29:26 Adam There was a gang of bikers in the house. Now it's just gone to, there's probably one guy in the house. Maybe he's under six foot.

29:32 Drew After all, how did that door open?

29:33 Adam Right, right, no wind banging around on things. So now I'm up, up from five, you know, four.

29:39 Drew Oh, it must be up there in the hill there. It must be windy.

29:41 Adam Windy's here. Four, yeah, it's like, you know, 410. I'm going to, up till 530 now. Thank God for that TiVo. What do you think I'm going to do? Look, I don't read when I'm on the beach. I drag TiVo out with me. What do you think I'm going to do at five in the morning? You gotta catch up. Ben?

30:00 Caller Yeah, how's it going, man?

30:02 Adam 21?

30:03 Caller Yep.

30:03 Adam What's up?

30:05 Caller I'm thinking about getting a print towel. And besides getting infected, I want to know the medical precautions of what could happen.

30:15 Drew Aside from losing your penis, you can lose the erectile function. That happens sometimes, I lose the sensitivity. That happens sometimes. Not especially common, but not something... If there was a medication, let's say Vioxx, that had a one out of 100,000 chance of causing a heart attack or a stroke.

30:34 Adam An effective medication.

30:36 Drew Yes, an excellent medicine that has extreme health benefits in certain situations. The public would want that off the market immediately. And that's in fact what happened. Now, Piercing, particularly Johnson, has no health benefits whatsoever, only putting you at risk. And the risk happens every so often. Not 100,000, maybe 100, maybe five and a half. No one's ever studied it.

30:59 Adam Why?

31:00 Drew Yeah, that goes right on. No problem, no problem.

31:02 Adam Why, Ben? Drew's outraged. But why are you the Prince Albert?

31:06 Caller I've heard it enhances for both parties.

31:10 Drew That's BS, Ben, please.

31:12 Adam Well, who cares? By the way, you're 21. What, are you bored? Bored of banging? You put a bullet in your head if you're tired of screwing.

31:20 Drew But how much better is... You're not having enough fun, as you say, Adam banging, get another partner.

31:26 Adam Yeah.

31:27 Drew Find one that makes you happy. For a male, that's the... Is that not the bottom line?

31:30 Adam It is the bottom line, yeah. Yeah, don't strap a wall sconce on your dork to see if you can crank just a little more pleasure out of the experience. How much you find someone you like screwing?

31:42 Drew Yeah.

31:42 Adam There you go.

31:44 Drew And the same thing for different reasons applies to women too.

31:46 Adam Here's the whole thing, guys, when it comes to women. Don't do, don't bother doing anything they can't see. Your job is to try to meet hot chicks and have sex with them. You doing stuff that they're not gonna find out about until the penis is out, forget it, waste the time. Take that money, put it into a sweater. Put it into a... I'll tell you what'll get you. Let's just talk about this for a second, Drew. All right, I'm not gonna screw with you, sorry. Here's all I'm saying. What can you do to meet a woman and where's the money well spent, if you think about it? Yeah, just whatever. Not necessarily have sex, but just hook up. I don't mean get laid. I just mean exchange phone numbers, get something.

32:34 Drew To get the initial thing going.

32:35 Adam Yeah, like I'll give you... Something just popped into my head. Women love shoes. They love shoes. And you spending 130 bucks to get your dork pierced would be much better spent on a really cool pair of shoes. That's the kind of thing, by the way. Women love shoes for themselves. We've never spoken about this. And I've never really... Women will comment if a guy's wearing shoes. And matter of fact, women will go... They will take shoes and connect all sorts of magical powers to them. Like, here's a guy's on the move. Look at his shoes. Here's a successful guy. Here's a guy's smart. This guy's artistic. Look at these shoes. Somehow because they put such faith in shoes, we should too. But if that's the language you're speaking, go ahead and speak it. So go out and get a really cool pair of shoes. It's no guarantees, but chicks will look down. And if they see something smart on your feet, it's one step, pardon the pun, in the right direction.

33:32 Drew And I know this runs contrary to the essence of the piercing impulse, but put money down at a gym, go to a gym.

33:40 Adam Yeah.

33:40 Drew Go out for three months.

33:41 Adam Work out a little.

33:42 Drew Go a lot further for you.

33:43 Adam You know, you know what could get you, I'll tell you what could really get you going with a chick. I'm just saying, I'm thinking apparel now. Nice pair of frames on your glasses.

33:51 Drew Haircut, nice haircut.

33:52 Adam Nice haircut's gonna work. A pair of shoes work and a cool jacket's gonna work too. All things that'll push you a little bit further in that direction. And again, it's like, you don't need, like, here's a deal. You're parking the car out on the, out in the lot. You want somebody to buy it, wax it up. Don't worry about the engine. Don't, just yet. New people, people aren't gonna see that who are driving by.

34:17 Drew Not in the engine, but make sure the engine runs, but don't chrome it.

34:20 Adam Yeah, don't spend any time on the dork. You don't need that. First, you gotta get people in the showroom.

34:25 Drew Oh, Adam, you're just talking, you're just speaking like the man.

34:27 Adam That's right.

34:28 Drew He's just the man talking through you.

34:33 Adam Cassidy.

34:34 Drew Turn the radio down.

34:35 Adam Turn the radio down, please. Yeah, let me say this. I do a lot of complaining on this show.

34:41 Drew Yeah. Really?

34:42 Adam Sometimes, once in a while.

34:43 Drew No way. Yep. Oh, I've never noticed.

34:45 Adam Oh, it's happened, sure.

34:46 Drew Chryslethane.

34:47 Adam I gotta say that one thing we've done well on is to turn your radio down to green.

34:51 Drew Well, yes, we've been good with that lately.

34:52 Adam We have for a couple of years. So kudos to the phone screeners. Cassidy. What's up?

35:00 Caller First, I wanna say hi and the guy, Brandon, that was on here a minute ago, he mentioned that his girlfriend cheated on him two years ago and that his son is 15 months old. So that would technically mean that his son was conceived when she was cheating on him. So I just thought he might wanna know that.

35:17 Adam Oh, yeah.

35:18 Drew I'm sure he's thought of lovely things like that.

35:19 Adam Food for thought.

35:21 Caller Okay, but my question I have is that I was a stripper a few months ago and I was doing a two-girl show and one of the girls taught me how to squirt. And so I've been really confused about that lately. I was just wondering if it's actually like someone...

35:39 Drew Well, now we're confused. Wait, you're on stage?

35:41 Adam No, no, no. She is doing bachelor parties. Yeah, because the two-girl show part, that's the bachelor part.

35:50 Drew I see, okay.

35:51 Adam And the squirting part, that's the bachelor part, too. What does she, somebody's, the girl's, they do a thing where a guy puts a candle in his mouth and lays it out on his back.

36:04 Drew Seriously? You could say anything, just make it up as you go. And I'd believe you. And it'd probably be as close to the reality as the reality itself.

36:17 Yeah, yeah.

36:18 Adam It's called the slutty soaker. And he, no, I am making this up. I realize I could just lie to you about everything. You didn't know I was an astronaut?

36:27 Drew No, no, no, when it comes to the stripper, okay.

36:29 Adam So anyway, you're able to squirt.

36:33 Caller Right.

36:33 Adam How'd she teach you how to do it? Cause I like to figure it out myself.

36:36 Caller I bet you would like to know.

36:38 Adam Yeah, no, I could figure it out. I think I could do it. Well, how do you do it?

36:42 Caller Okay, we were doing a toy show with Dildos and she put one in me and then I had to push it out with my own muscles. And when I pushed it out, I squirted.

36:53 Adam Oh, okay.

36:54 Drew That's called peeing.

36:55 Adam Yeah, hold on a second. Where do you think she went to finishing school? Now I'm thinking Geneva.

37:02 Drew Yeah, Lausanne has a pretty good one too.

37:04 Adam Oh really?

37:04 Drew Yeah, there's some good schools around Cambridge.

37:06 Adam Oh really?

37:07 Drew Yeah, I'm sure, I'm certain it was European.

37:08 Adam I'm almost sure she was out of country.

37:10 Drew No, definitely European.

37:10 Adam Cassidy.

37:11 Drew I did the distinct French living.

37:12 Adam Cassidy, where did you grow up?

37:15 Caller In a small town.

37:17 Drew Where?

37:18 Caller In California.

37:19 Adam Where, what town? It says Bakerfield here.

37:25 Drew So that's gonna be like Delano or something, Delano.

37:28 Adam All right, so, what? Nuts on. All right, so Cassidy, are you doing, how much money would you make at these bachelor parties, by the way?

37:41 Caller Quite a bit actually, I could make usually $300.

37:44 Adam $300, would you have to have sex with any of the guys?

37:47 Caller Oh, of course not, no.

37:48 Caller All right.

37:50 Drew How dare you, Adam, mister.

37:53 Adam I know, I know, I'm sorry about your presumption. Sorry about your delicate sensibilities, Cassidy. She who blows dildos out with the streams of urine.

38:04 Caller Well, I've only done it once.

38:05 Adam Please accept my apologies. Did, but, now you could have sex with a guy, right, if you're into a guy in a party, right?

38:14 Caller Well, I have a boyfriend who I really like, so I don't really have the need for another guy.

38:18 Adam You guys have a special bond.

38:21 Drew And Norah should be able to speak of this in public radio.

38:23 Adam He wouldn't want to cross the line. So, now does your boyfriend know you do the toy parties for The Bachelor?

38:32 Caller He used to actually be a bouncer for me and he would come and watch and it was kind of fun, actually.

38:37 Yeah, that's nice.

38:39 Adam And, all right, so hold on a second, Cassidy. See, I keep telling you, Drew, all the time, there's stripper, there's stripper, and then there's stripper.

38:46 Drew You know all the different categories. I'm your humble servant, student.

38:51 Adam Give me a little warm up on this coffee.

38:52 Drew Yes, sir.

38:53 Adam As long as you're pledging your servitude. I mean, there's the, you know, topless dancer.

38:59 Drew Yes, you've told me about that.

39:00 Adam And then there's blowing.

39:03 Drew And then the top is bottomless. And then there's top is bottomless in little towns. And then there's bachelor party. And then there's girl, girl bachelor party.

39:10 Adam Then there's, you know, firing a missile across a hotel room. Out of, out of the, out of the, out of the, out of the Shave Silo. Yeah. Yeah. Write that down, buddy. That's hot. Look, we got to take a break. Don't, hey, uh, phone screeners, don't hang up on Cassidy. We're not done with her by long shot. Boyfriend bouncing, hanging out.

39:32 Drew Crazy.

39:33 Adam Take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. All right, tomorrow night, Mark McGrath's gonna be in here, along with Dana Devin from Extra. And as I've said to Drew, that's the shows are my guilty pleasure. So I watch them, then I get angry at society, and then I watch them some more, and then I masturbate, then I cry.

40:18 Drew Then you go back to watch them.

40:19 Adam Then I go back to watch them, and I get angry. And well, you just do the whole cycle. So I'm glad to see Mark is doing well in the show, by the way. Consider him a friend of the show.

40:29 Drew And Mark will do whatever he does.

40:31 Adam Be back tomorrow night. We'll take a talk to him, talking with him. You know, the thing about those shows, though, it's, you're just sitting there and you're watching, and it's like, Rene Zellweger, how she put the weight on. When we come back, yeah, and it's like, how did Rene, hmm, how does somebody put weight on? I, because I'm not moving. I gotta know how to fatten up. And secondly, that, it's not the secret or the riddle of the Sphinx, how to put the weight on.

41:08 Drew What kills me about this whole, the reporters that do the investigating work, they actually believe that people who are in position of celebrity are different, think differently, brains work differently. They're not actually humans, different, different, they're a breed.

41:21 Adam I think they do too, yeah.

41:22 Drew These are human beings, and these are usually flawed human beings, frankly. That's why they need to be celebrities, and they know their relationships don't work right, and they have a lot of alcoholism and addictions. And you can't just stay focused on that if you want to understand what motive is.

41:35 Adam I like when there's a news story that's, someone's saying they're not doing anything. Britney's taking time off. Well, hold on.

41:44 Drew How dare she?

41:45 Adam Yeah, I can't, wait, how am I supposed to go on without that kankily chick of lip-syncs? What am I gonna do? I don't know what to do. All right.

41:56 Drew Have you watched that stuff?

41:57 Adam Oh yeah.

41:58 Drew All right, what's your favorite one? I know we lost Cassidy.

42:01 Adam They're all the same to me. I just, I like Pat O'Brien because he was in love with the sound of his own voice.

42:07 Drew But what I like, I like Pat O'Brien.

42:08 Adam He's a good man. He's a good man. He's a great man, actually. But he loves his job. And there's nothing better than when he's, and when he gets like an A-list interview, he's preening, shining like a new dawn. I sat down with Tom Cruise. And then there's a lot of, you know, then there's that crazy handshake, you know, white guys shouldn't be doing, hey brother, all right. And they have a laugh and they pretend like they're gonna hang out, but never happens. All right, Drew, what happened to our stripper? Did she drop away?

42:41 Drew It looks like it.

42:42 Adam We didn't hang up on her, did we?

42:44 Drew I hope not.

42:45 Adam Okay, more gross stripper talk when we come back. You ready to rock here, Drew? No, we need to play a little Germany or Florida or like Ace's Ranchero Mexican Accordion Countdown or something. Yeah, yeah. Tell folks she's dating girls. All right, let's see. Alex? 16?

43:04 Caller Mm-hmm.

43:06 Adam What's up?

43:08 Caller Well, lately, I've been going through a lot because I met this girl at an amusement park and we are now on our month.

43:19 Adam Dr. Phil's wife opens her house to us exclusively. I love the ass kiss-a-thon that goes on there. You didn't use a decorator? No, no, I didn't, my God, you bought that stuff? Oh my goodness. Oh, talk about ass kissing on the show.

43:38 Drew We gotta talk to Mark about that.

43:41 Adam Alex?

43:42 Caller Mm-hmm.

43:43 Adam Sorry.

43:44 Drew Here we go.

43:47 Adam Here we go.

43:49 Drew Start again.

43:52 Caller Okay, well, we've been going out for a month and a week now and my parents don't know that I'm going out with her.

44:01 Drew Do you both live in the same town or is she like a carny just passing through?

44:05 Caller Well, she lives in Choctaw.

44:09 Adam Oh, Choctaw. She's in Choctaw.

44:11 Drew Maybe we gotta get the Choctaw chief out here.

44:13 Adam Oh, here we go.

44:15 Drew We've got a native, literally a native.

44:18 Adam Coach, coach, hold on a second.

44:21 Drew Coach?

44:21 Adam Yeah, who is it? Chief, yeah.

44:23 Drew Chief, Chief Running Bear. The Thunder Bear, big part.

44:26 Adam The Thunder Bear.

44:26 Drew Chief Thunder Bear is the North American Choctaw speaking. We got like a minute.

44:32 Adam Well, he's playing Tetris.

44:34 He's addicted to that GD game.

44:39 Drew He only speaks Choctaw. He's a North American Indian kind of college. Here he is, here he comes.

44:45 Adam Come on down here, we need you. Yeah, yeah, blow hard.

44:50 Now come on down, okay.

44:51 Adam Oh, Chief, Chief, how are you?

44:54 Drew Be kind enough to bless the studio. Chris, just get under the console. Under the console. He sees you and you don't bring that coffee.

45:05 Adam He's gonna be pissed. Thank you.

45:10 Drew No, no English, please.

45:11 The English is very disturbing when it gets stuck in there.

45:17 Drew We have Alex here who's 16.

45:24 Adam And she has picked up a carny who lives in Choctaw.

45:26 Drew That's his hometown. His family is still there. And in fact, he went back to visit on Thanksgiving. They call it Mays.

45:38 Adam Fresh cranberry.

45:39 Drew Alex, if you hang on a second, the chief will regale you with his fresh cranberry recipe, I suspect. And now that he's blessed the studio and sat down, chief, we've got to take a break here.

45:50 Adam No, no, hey, check it.

45:51 Drew We do, we do.

45:53 Adam I know.

45:53 Drew The game will hold. The game will stay. But just hang on and we will get back to Alex and her lesbian buddy and her friend's reaction to it, chief. Thank you. We'll be right back after this. 1-800-LOBE-191.

46:52 Adam Name board certified.

46:52 Drew Thank you, thank you.

46:53 Adam Yeah, hey, check it, yeah, wha-heeeey!

46:57 Drew We thank you for blessing the studio, and thank you for intro-ing that, this segment, Another Hour of Loveline.

47:02 Adam Yeah, Alex, Line Wheel.

47:03 Drew Before we're talking to Alex and Chief Running Bear, Chief Thunder Bear, I beg, I... That's a good thing, he doesn't understand any of this for a while.

47:09 Adam A gay uncle named Running Bear, hey, please, no confusion.

47:13 Drew Thunder Bear is here, he's a Native American, Choctaw-only speaking, well, now he's getting a little broken English with all this, gynecologist.

47:19 Adam Come see, come see.

47:20 Drew And a little French in there, too. So, Alex, you've got a girl you met at a carnival. But she's not a carny. She lives in Choctaw. Which is, she's from her hometown, and he was just there last week for Thanksgiving.

47:39 Adam Yeah, hey.

47:39 Drew He made himself sick on pumpkin pie. Yes.

47:43 Caller Yeah, I heard.

47:44 Drew And so, what's that?

47:45 Adam Got hold of bad pemmican in stream water.

47:48 Caller Okay, well, my mom doesn't know that, like, she's the first girl, and will be the last girl I will ever go out with.

47:57 Drew I know that already. Whoa, whoa, whoa, say that again. Lesba. So, wait, wait, wait. She was the first and last?

48:02 Caller Yes.

48:03 Drew So, you're done with her?

48:05 Caller No, no, I am still with her, but I know that I won't go out with another girl. This is a one-time thing.

48:11 Drew So, you're not lesbian, you're just in love with this person?

48:14 Adam Lesba.

48:15 Caller And she thinks that maybe...

48:17 Caller Well, you see, you're with a woman, so she, technically, she has his very firm ways of defining these things.

48:24 Drew He's from the old country.

48:24 Adam Barry Faison, Tomahawk woman.

48:26 Drew From Choctaw, like your friend.

48:28 What's that?

48:31 Drew Well, that's...

49:01 1130, math, okay.

49:06 Drew Alex, so?

49:07 Adam Have brave like him, take out the wood and shoot.

49:10 Drew Good thing he can't understand that.

49:12 Adam Put arrow through.

49:13 Drew I know, I won't translate.

49:14 Adam Like Steve Martin.

49:15 Drew I won't translate, it might hurt his feelings. Alex, what's the question?

49:20 Caller Okay, I don't know if I should say with her or not because my mom is strongly against it. Like, I was brought up in a Christian atmosphere. You know, I've had a bad background.

49:37 Drew Okay, Chief has something to say. Chief has something to say.

49:40 Adam Knock Chief over with ceremonial feather headdress.

49:44 Drew Yeah, Chief is amazed that that is your history. But.

49:47 Adam Scrape him off bare skin rug, shock.

49:49 Drew Chief, do you have anything more to say to her? Oh, he suggests, he suggests that you actually, keep going, I've got to translate. That you adopt the Choctaw religion. That the pantheism is be much more appropriate for you because you're into all kinds of people. You're the boys and girls. And therefore, saying prayers to the sun god and the great hawk that flies in the sky. And, okay, I'll shut up, I'll shut up.

50:17 Adam Mm-hmm, Alex.

50:23 Caller And she doesn't really look like a girl. And I think that might be why.

50:28 Adam Diesel dyke, mm, mm, been with, yeah.

50:33 Drew Chief, as a gynecologist.

50:36 Adam I wanna hit JK.

50:37 Drew She still has a vagina.

50:38 Adam Yeah, hey.

50:39 Drew So he says she still has a vagina. Therefore, you are technically with a girl.

50:42 Adam Yeah, hey.

50:42 Drew And therefore.

50:43 Caller I don't really understand that, but I mean, like, I don't really get to see her very much. It's more if I talk to her on the phone and.

50:51 Drew All right, Alex, here's the deal. You've had a lot of trauma in the history. Where's your dad? Was he the one that perpetrated a lot of this trauma on you? It's gonna screw you up. What you're attracted to, when you're attracted to, whether it's male or female, the kind of person, it's gonna be kind of a mess until you get a lot of treatment. So maybe your mom, it's not that she's a girl, although that obviously upsets your mom. Just anybody right now is gonna be kind of a bad choice. You're 16, what do you expect? But on the other hand, what do you expect given the trauma? Well, what are you supposed to do? Be celibate? I know, not like you, Chief, but she's not as...

51:33 Adam Get your head in the deep and peace pipe every night.

51:36 Drew I know, I know, but you've got many squaw. In your religion, as I said, you have many wives. It's your chief. I mean, what are you gonna do? But Alex, take it slow. Think about any close relationship, or even especially a sexual relationship right now, not a great idea, given the past you've had. And maybe get seen by somebody who can help you sort through some of this stuff.

51:57 Adam That I can.

51:59 Drew Thank you, chief.

51:59 Adam Tetris.

52:00 Drew I'll get back to you again, please. Thank you very much. We appreciate it. Very helpful tonight. I know it's nothing. I know. And thank you for the blessings, too. On Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, chief. Thank you. What was with that cry? I thought he was like having a...

52:31 Adam I was down the hole.

52:33 Drew Yeah, I know, but you hear that scream, and he can't...

52:35 Adam That's how he talks.

52:36 Drew That never really happened before.

52:38 Adam You know why? Because he's used to calling people over at long distances through canyons, and valleys, and that kind of stuff.

52:44 Drew Does that make sense? I thought he was just constipated.

52:46 Adam To communicate that way.

52:47 Drew Yeah.

52:48 Adam Oh no, I've seen him start fires in the hole.

52:49 Drew Oh, wait, bling lighting farts?

52:51 Adam No, no, just, just lighting fires, Drew.

52:55 Drew I see.

52:55 Adam He's an Indian.

52:56 Drew I see.

52:56 Adam He's a proud man. He doesn't light farts. I've seen him smoke signals and sometimes, you know, during the winter time, he's burning furniture in there. He lives off the land.

53:06 Drew I'm no kidding. It's the real thing.

53:09 Adam Mm-hmm. All right. You ready to rock here, Drew? What's going on? Who are we talking to?

53:13 Drew Nina.

53:16 Adam Nina? Hello?

53:20 Drew There you are.

53:20 Adam 24, what's up?

53:21 Drew Turn that radio down. It's interesting. Hang on one second, Nina. It's interesting just to the moment in which you declare we've been doing so well with the radio being turned down. Everyone's radio's up now.

53:29 Adam I don't know. I'm not sure if that's that or it's just, you know, cell phone static, but what's up there, Nina?

53:34 Well, I didn't actually expect to get on. Well, first, thank you, you guys, for staying on the air for so long. And thank you very much, Adam, for your recipe. I made a few alterations and it turned out spectacular.

53:51 Adam Fresh cranberry sauce. Yeah, what'd you do?

53:55 I added some toasted pecans, very important that they're toasted pecans.

53:59 Adam Oh, nice.

54:00 Crushed them up a little bit and a little bit of lemon zest and just a skosh of lemon juice.

54:07 Drew No, no skoshes.

54:10 Adam Thanks, Nina. She had bad lines, so I put her on hold. And so she took my cranberry sauce recipe and it added some toasted pecans.

54:18 Drew Nice.

54:18 Adam Can't go wrong with that. And then a little lemon zest, which I'd spoken about. Can't go wrong with that. Here's the whole thing though about the cranberry sauces. Cranberry is very zesty, very tangy, very tart.

54:31 Drew One of the cranberry selections at the dinner table our night was like diced cranberries with diced orange peel and things. Really good.

54:40 Adam Let me tell you what I whipped up.

54:41 Drew Looked like a lot of work, by the way.

54:42 Adam I made fresh beets, beets everybody.

54:46 Drew For a salad?

54:47 Adam Here's what you do with that. Yeah, you know, beet is one of those things where there's not a person alive under 35 that likes beets, but every time an old timer hears beets, it's like, oh yeah, beets, count me in. I don't know what it is. I don't know how that works. It's maybe what gefilte fish is to the Jews. Like sane people are like, I shouldn't say sane, but you know what I'm talking about. The goyum is like, huh, fat. And the Jews are like, oh, it's delightful. It's like fish jello, delightful. Yeah, great. But there's that weird cutoff thing. Beets, there's a cutoff. Like, born before May, 1979, you're cut off from the beets.

55:30 Drew But there's a thing coming around now with beet and goat cheese, you notice that?

55:34 Adam I'll tell you what you do. You get yourself some whole beets. Now, I haven't seen that, but it makes sense. You get yourself some whole beets. I'm not talking about opening a can of beets or pickled beets. Get whole beets and you just boil them. You boil them for like 20 minutes, 25 minutes. And then when they come out, you, what are you looking for?

55:51 Drew I've never thought of that. And then you slice them?

55:53 Adam You just slice them up. You gotta peel them, you gotta shuck them, you know what I mean? You cut the greens off them.

55:59 Drew Before you boil them?

55:59 Adam Yeah, before you boil them, otherwise you got a bunch of like, stocks hanging out of the pot. You boil them, it takes a little while to boil them, by the way. It takes like 20, 25 minutes. Then they come out, run a little cold water on them. You take a celery peeler or a apple peeler and you just peel the thing. You get the thing down to the, you know, get that dirty skin on. Then you just slice it up, put a little blue cheese, crumble a little blue cheese on there, a little blue cheese dressing, a little salt and pepper. It's good, it's meaty.

56:26 Drew This was the first Thanksgiving at your house, right?

56:28 Adam Yes, it was.

56:28 Drew How was that received?

56:29 Adam One fine. Except for I had to carve the turkey. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to carve a turkey.

56:35 Drew Do you have an electric thing?

56:36 Adam No, I didn't have the electric knife. And that was the other thing too. I didn't know-

56:42 Drew You're a millionaire.

56:43 Adam Literally, well, that's why I usually-

56:45 Drew I guess Thurston Howell couldn't do a turkey either.

56:46 Adam I would have my butler carve my turkey. I don't need an electric knife.

56:49 Drew Or Lovey, did Lovey do it after it was all said and done?

56:52 Adam And also, just one more thing for my wife to stab me with, the electric knife. That's the way I look at it. The thing that was interesting is, now I got my brother, I don't even know, my family, everyone's a bunch of step family. What's your step brother-in-law? What's the name of the guy who marries your stepsister?

57:11 Drew Step brother-in-law.

57:12 Adam Step brother-in-law. I see at a certain point, it's just getting too, it gets too far removed. You just wanna call him this dude. I got this dude to carve it for me because I didn't know what he was doing. But here's the thing that's interesting and riddled me this, Drew, the electric knives, they're serrated knives. I mean, you're picturing the knives. It looks like a little saw, it's an electric saw. So I was looking at it and someone said, do you have an electric knife? And I said, no, and then I thought, I'll get the knife in the drawer that looks as closest to that. That's a serrated knife. And as soon as I put that out, no, don't do that, go get a smooth one. And I thought, oh, okay, cause when you use the serrated one, it sort of grinds up the turkey, falls apart. But how has the electric knife worked so well?

57:53 Drew It's a dual action. It's not a single, there's two, yeah.

57:56 Adam Oh, there's two?

57:57 Drew Yeah, yeah, two blades.

57:58 Adam Oh, there is?

57:59 Drew Two blades goes back and forth, it stops the direction.

58:02 Adam But they're both serrated?

58:03 Drew They're both serrated. Somehow that makes it work.

58:05 Adam Really? Two?

58:08 Drew Two blades, yeah.

58:09 Adam And, Jerry Chris, wake up for a second. Could you go ahead, I don't know where, I think I'm first off.

58:14 Drew Anderson, Anderson. We use electric cutter, electric knife.

58:18 Adam He's no electric knife man. Pull up electric knives on the internet. I wanna see a picture, because I've seen them before. I thought they just had one blade.

58:25 Drew He's the ones I've seen her too. Two? We have two. But I need to know that the family made a, there was an appropriate sort of homage to your work at your house. That there was an appreciation of what you'd accomplished there. Well, at least you're step siblings.

58:42 Adam Yeah, yeah, step people love the house. My dad doesn't know where he is. Mike? Yeah, 26, what's that?

58:56 Caller First of all, I want to say I love you guys, sure, I love you both, thanks for what you guys do. But I wanted to check in and get your opinion on whether I should confirm my father about an affair that he had when I was sort of, I don't entirely know to be honest, but I think it was like five or six to seven years after that.

59:16 Drew How did you know that was going on?

59:18 Caller My mom told me a couple of years ago.

59:20 Drew But you didn't know about it at the time?

59:21 Caller No, I had no idea.

59:23 Drew And are your parents together now? Well, there's sort of two, I kind of have two reactions to this, Mike. One is, it's their relationship, that's their business.

59:33 Caller Yeah.

59:33 Drew And it really has nothing to do with you. Now, one of the realities though about families is that people are to some degree responsible for one another's feelings. And if you need to, in order to sort of let go of this thing, have some sort of conversation with them about it, to put it to rest, so be it. If you can't, if you have that kind of relationship with them. But, on the other hand, if you can just let it go and not let it affect who you are and the kinds of, the way you conduct yourself in relationships, it's really, it's their business. If your mom's enlisting you against him, don't get into it.

1:00:04 Adam Well, do you? Mike, let me ask you this. Is there unfinished business with dad? I mean, do you have other feelings?

1:00:13 Drew Yeah, of course.

1:00:14 Adam Other feelings of abandonment or he wasn't supportive or?

1:00:18 Drew Or do you think of your dad the way Adam often speaks of his?

1:00:21 Caller I never would have necessarily known.

1:00:23 Caller I mean, he was just always working, was always a thing. But in looking back, I mean, it's their thing, but at the same time, it's, you know, dinner's missed with us potentially and goodness knows what else, you know, he just went around. There was a thing, sir, but yeah.

1:00:36 Drew Are you sure your mom's not enlisting you in this?

1:00:39 Caller I don't know.

1:00:40 Caller She told me about it a couple of years ago and I haven't, but it comes up occasionally. I never talked to him about it. He doesn't bring it up, but he knows.

1:00:48 Adam I find it sort of, I don't know, somewhere between just selfish and maybe just in sort of poor taste for mom to bring it up.

1:00:55 Drew Oh, yes. That's what's suspicious already.

1:00:57 Adam It's a weird bomb to drop on the kids.

1:00:59 Caller Yeah, especially a little bit later. So the idea is that she's trying to get my help against them.

1:01:06 Drew Or something. She's trying, what?

1:01:08 Caller It's just so long gone at this point.

1:01:11 Drew Yeah, but what's going on between them now?

1:01:13 Caller They're actually doing, I mean, about as well as they're going to. They're still together. They had a lot of therapy and did everything else.

1:01:19 Adam All right. And they had a lot of therapy. They solved it.

1:01:22 Caller They're not quite solved, but yeah.

1:01:25 Adam Well, whatever.

1:01:26 Drew Well, why not?

1:01:26 Caller They did.

1:01:27 Drew Well, it was a long time ago. Why hasn't she let it go?

1:01:31 Caller I mean, I think she has to extend. She told me for sort of bizarre reasons after a breakup of mine, she wanted me to know that she got through a really tough time and that was her example, which I admit is quite bizarre.

1:01:41 Adam But no, but at least it has a little context.

1:01:44 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:01:45 Adam All right, so Mike, yeah, don't, you'll find nothing satisfying about this. And did the guy, yeah.

1:01:53 Drew It's not the way to make a relationship. If you're looking to get your relationship closer with dad, this is not the way to do it.

1:01:57 Adam Did the guy, you know, put a decent roof over your head and put food on the table? Sure, yeah. All right, leave him alone. Yeah, it's just. We'll do what you guys do.

1:02:11 Drew Do what you think you need to do.

1:02:12 Adam No, do what we say. But here's the thing. If we thought there was a sense of resolve after doing these things or resolution that you somehow had a weight lifted off you or Ravel, we would by all means recommend doing it. We just know that these sorts of stare downs never really work and you end up feeling worse.

1:02:33 Drew And then you've got the relationships working. You don't want to get in the middle of their chaos, whatever it is.

1:02:38 Adam Right.

1:02:39 Drew She was telling you for a decent reason. Accept that information in the spirit in which it was offered.

1:02:46 Adam Right.

1:02:46 Drew Which was to help you deal with relationships that don't go perfectly.

1:02:49 Adam Right. Engineer Chris, did you find any electric knives on the internet?

1:02:53 Caller Yeah, there's a lot of websites that have pictures of them.

1:02:55 Adam A lot of pictures. Do they have two blades?

1:02:59 Drew Or some two, some one?

1:03:00 I mean, you can look at them.

1:03:01 Drew Let me go to the other one.

1:03:04 Adam All right. Let me listen to his headphones. I want to make sure. I've caught him listening to Lycus before in here. I think they rerun his show on Kayla Saks. There's a, we're having a little controversy. I don't not believe you, Drew, but because I'm not an owner of an electric knife, but to me it's the single blade. I've never even seen the double blade ones. So go over there and navigate, would you? I need to figure out ways to occupy yourself. You better switch it over.

1:03:33 Drew Let's go. I'm gonna listen.

1:03:35 Adam What's playing? Can you hear me?

1:03:39 Drew Pharaoh.

1:03:40 Adam Are you listening? Are you listening to Classic Rock?

1:03:42 Drew Yes.

1:03:42 Adam What, I got Bad to the Bone or Hot Likes?

1:03:44 Drew How'd you know? Bad to the Bone, how'd you know?

1:03:48 Caller That's all they play.

1:03:49 Adam Yeah. How about a little witchy woman by the Eagles, everybody?

1:03:52 Drew It'll be here soon.

1:03:54 Adam Kelly? You're 15?

1:03:56 Caller Yes.

1:03:57 Adam What's up? Your best friend and your boyfriend, all right.

1:04:06 Caller Yeah. But right before I found that out, found out I might be pregnant.

1:04:12 Drew With your boyfriend's child?

1:04:14 Caller Yeah.

1:04:15 Adam Mm-hmm.

1:04:16 Caller So I was wondering, like, what's the best way to confront them? Cause they both knew before this all happened.

1:04:25 Adam There's a boguosity to it. Kelly, we don't believe you.

1:04:29 Caller Cause like, well, I just, like, I found this out today. I was just talking to my friend and she, like, she told me some guy was over at her house and I was like, who? And then she, like, eventually I finally got her to tell me, like, I found this out.

1:04:43 Adam No.

1:04:44 Drew That's not Cindy, now it's not hanging together at all.

1:04:45 Adam Yeah, it's not hanging together, Kelly. We're going, we're going bogus.

1:04:50 Drew Or it's true. Now we have to deal with it as a whole.

1:04:54 Adam No, no, I'm still going bogus.

1:04:57 Caller Cause I found this out today.

1:04:58 Drew Yeah, we know.

1:05:01 Adam Well, if you found out today, you must first off, accept our apologies, please. I didn't know you found out today. It's impossible to do a bogus call. Cause bogus call, like a fine wine or cheese, must, there's a whole fermentation process that goes on with a bogus call. You gotta put it in a, what you do is you take a oak barrel and you scorch the inside of it. And then you just go ahead and park it in there for, well, months, and you have to rotate the barrels. It's a long story, but there is a curing process, of course. So it's like smoked meat. So Kelly, you just found out today.

1:05:38 Yeah.

1:05:40 Adam What makes you think you're pregnant?

1:05:42 Caller Well, like, I've been having like weird cramps and like, just like, I'm not even close to anything.

1:05:49 Drew How did you find out you were pregnant?

1:05:54 Adam I see.

1:05:54 Drew I thought you said you just found out you were pregnant.

1:05:56 Caller No, I just found out about the whole, like, my friend and boyfriend.

1:05:58 Drew She said, I just found out I'm pregnant. That was the kicker that she threw in.

1:06:02 Adam She thinks she's pregnant.

1:06:04 Caller I think I am.

1:06:08 Adam It just feels bogus. And by the way, you got a little gas, so you think you're pregnant? How old is your boyfriend? How old is your friend? Why would your friend do this to you?

1:06:29 Caller I don't know. I found this out today and I was...

1:06:33 Adam Today, hold on, we'll write that down. Once you find this out, yesterday or tomorrow?

1:06:39 Caller I found it out today.

1:06:41 Adam Oh, today? Hey, Andrew.

1:06:43 Drew Shocking.

1:06:46 Adam Okay, so you found out, well today, so you found out a week ago today. It was a Sunday? And why would your friend... I don't understand why your friend would do this. Did you ever screw around with your friend's bow?

1:07:02 Caller And like, I was wondering, like, what's the best way to confront them both?

1:07:05 Adam No, that's the bogus part. Kelly, please just tell us it's bogus, if it's bogus, because the game's not bogus. All right, and what do you mean, best way to confront them both? Your friend just, your friend told you over the phone today.

1:07:20 Caller What, she told you? What do you mean, what's the best way?

1:07:31 Adam Your friend who you spoke to, what was it? On Friday? All right.

1:07:42 Caller All right.

1:07:42 Adam So, she gave moral today, but she told you a couple days ago. Oh, okay.

1:07:49 Caller All right.

1:07:49 Adam Now it's now, but then she told you just moments after she did it. Today.

1:07:57 Caller All right.

1:07:57 Adam But there's a day difference between here and New Mexico. All right. Here's the thing. How do you, why do you need to confront her or convince anybody if she's already copped to it less than 24 hours ago?

1:08:08 Caller Like I wanted to confront him because like...

1:08:11 Adam How about you just break up with him? He's 18, you're 15, you're going to get pregnant. He's not a good guy.

1:08:18 Drew That's it. And then deal with this possible pregnancy issue. It's more important than anything.

1:08:23 Adam Kelly?

1:08:24 Caller Yeah?

1:08:24 Adam And we worry about you.

1:08:28 Caller But like I was just like, well, what if I am though, that's the part I'm worried about.

1:08:32 Adam What if you're pregnant?

1:08:33 Caller Yeah.

1:08:34 Adam You're going to have to go to Planned Parenthood in a town near you. And you're going to have to figure out what's going on. And then if you are in fact pregnant, call us back. And we'll take it from there. We think there's less than a 5% chance you're pregnant. But...

1:08:52 Drew But about 90% chance that you will be pregnant soon enough.

1:08:55 Adam Oh, the next four months. Yeah. Please everybody, let's stop the nonsense. Everyone acting out. Look, here's the thing, everybody. Act out all... You know what it's like, Drew, get over here. Enough with the electric knives anymore.

1:09:12 Drew I've got one here that's got dual, but you can't really see it that well.

1:09:15 Adam You do. It's got dual knives. Does the majority of them have dual knives?

1:09:18 Drew I'm finding... There are not that many of them. All right.

1:09:21 Adam Well, come over.

1:09:22 Drew Come back here.

1:09:22 Adam Come back here, please. Please. Let Chris continue listening to Arrow. They're playing a supertramp super set. Just coming into Rockvamper. Yeah. Here's what I want to say. Are you ready, Drew? Here's what they tell you about adolescent ears, teen ears, young adult ears. You want to make it out unscathed. And they talk about it in terms of everyone has some story about some friend or somebody from high school that got liquored up and bought it on a motorcycle.

1:09:58 Drew Right.

1:09:59 Adam You know, he's never going to see his 19th birthday.

1:10:01 Drew Right.

1:10:01 Adam There's people that get, you know, they, they get high. They, I had a, I had a friend who, fantastic guy, guy came over to the house to get a little hit of drugs.

1:10:15 Drew Your house?

1:10:15 Adam A couple of guys. No, over to these, these guys' houses, neighborhood guys, nearby, from near the guys, near the guys' sisters and stuff, came over there, shot, shot up. One guy went to some sort of, you know, convulsive fit, died, and they freaked out and put him in the closet and, you know, found his body a week later and the guys end up doing pretty serious time. The point is, those guys were like 18, 19, 20 or something when this happened. When you have a kid at 16, it's not exactly like buying it on a moped, but it should be looked at as being put in a wheelchair from a diving accident, you know what I mean? We don't look at it that way, we look at it, I mean we do, but as a society, we don't really look at it. We're looking, as young men, you should not be paralyzed by jumping off the reservoir in the shallow water, you should not get cleaned out on a motorcycle, you should not drink yourself into some sort of alcoholic coma and not make it, see your 20th birthday, and as a girl, you crapping out a kid or two at 16 and 17, it's basically the equivalent to you getting put in a wheelchair. You've drastically altered your life in a negative way, you've become a burden on society, in many ways, you've limited your options, you can't pay taxes anymore, society now has to sort of step in and get you the electric chair and get you the bag to crap in and build a ramp in front of your mom's house. Yes? This is the equivalent of it. Let's start looking at it that way. All right, I'm done. Take a break, be right back after this. See it's Love Line, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er. Alrighty. Engineer Anderson, I don't count you amongst the groupers I look at through the tank when I do this show anymore, by the way. I know you're a big fan. I was complaining off the air about that. What's, where do you wanna go, Drew?

1:12:33 Drew 21.

1:12:33 Adam Dr. Leanna? Leanna?

1:12:35 Caller Yeah.

1:12:36 Adam 21, what's up?

1:12:38 Caller Hey, how you guys doing? I was listening. Oh, good to hear. I was listening the other night on a rerun.

1:12:44 Caller Oh, I can't even talk.

1:12:45 Caller A rerun on 91X, and you guys were talking about, let me see, a guy called him with a rape fetish. I don't even know if you would remember, but you guys were saying that people with those kind of fetishes are disgusted with their own sexuality, and then Drew had mentioned also people who seek to be involved with somebody who's already in a relationship, they also are disgusted with their own sexuality.

1:13:11 Drew You're misinterpreting things a little bit.

1:13:13 Caller Was it misinterpreting?

1:13:15 Drew Yeah, that there are-

1:13:16 Caller Why, because it got cut off. All right, go ahead.

1:13:18 Drew Well, first of all, people that go for unavailable men, women that go for unavailable men usually had unavailable dads.

1:13:23 Caller Right.

1:13:23 Drew That's the basic-

1:13:24 Caller Okay, that's what I was talking about.

1:13:26 Drew That's the basic bottom line. Now, what I was talking about was people disgust themselves sometimes with their sexuality, either by overdoing it or have feelings of disgust around their sexuality, have trouble feeling comfortable. This is various sort of manifestations of that, but the basic paradigm, when you go with the unavailable guys all the time, it's because you've never had an available relationship with someone you love. And you can't tolerate it.

1:13:51 Adam And by the way, there's an element of that that's just built into females, the, you know, it's that sort of fighting over the handbag at the sales counter. They don't even want it. The fact that some other broad ones, it makes them want it. Guys don't have much of that. Guys are looking for stuff that fell off the truck.

1:14:13 Drew It's easy, yeah.

1:14:14 Adam Easy, yeah.

1:14:16 Caller Oh yeah, I lost my father when I was nine and my oldest brother a few years after that.

1:14:22 Drew Nope, there you go. These are really unresolved grief issues for you. And that is something you should be able to work through.

1:14:27 Adam Let me float this, Drew. It's almost as if women, most all women have this sort of unobtainable guy built-in thing. It's sort of built in to them. And then when their dad abandons them or dies tragically, it activates them.

1:14:43 Drew Turns it up, yeah.

1:14:44 Adam It adds a little water, some sunlight, and some manure to it.

1:14:48 Drew Some nitro.

1:14:49 Adam Yeah, that's right. Some blow. We gotta get, you know, I'm telling you, Anderson, Anderson, we gotta get Fox on the Run by Sweet. If you can get that song, Fox on the Run by Sweet.

1:15:04 Drew Was that what the background music was?

1:15:06 Adam Well, that would be during Fox Night at Orange County International. If you can find that song, I could probably do a pretty faithful recreation of one of those drag racing commercials.

1:15:20 Drew From the 70s.

1:15:21 Adam Oh yeah.

1:15:22 Drew Oh yeah.

1:15:23 Adam So anyway, Leanna.

1:15:24 Caller Uh-huh.

1:15:25 Adam So you gotta get a little counseling probably for your dad. What happened to your dad when you were nine?

1:15:30 Caller My dad died of a heart attack and then a few years after that, my brother Joe, he got killed in a car accident.

1:15:37 Drew So lots of death. Brutal. Lots of real big losses.

1:15:39 Adam Your dad died of a heart attack when he was 40?

1:15:43 Caller 43.

1:15:45 Adam Smoker?

1:15:46 Caller Oh, what was that?

1:15:48 Drew Was he a smoker?

1:15:49 Caller No, he wasn't. It just runs in the family, just heart disease.

1:15:55 Drew You listen, there's treatment for that now. Make sure you get your cholesterol checked.

1:15:59 Caller Oh yes, I do that regularly.

1:16:00 Adam Yeah, a lot of cholesterol stuff going on these days. I see a lot of medication advertised on TV. You should get your cholesterol checked.

1:16:09 Drew Yeah, it's like blood pressure, same kind of deal.

1:16:11 Adam Yeah, it's no, I mean, it's not a first-rate killer like second-hand smoke, but it's still important. Yeah, I mean, as a physician.

1:16:19 Drew Oh, second-hand smoke.

1:16:20 Adam Second-hand smoke.

1:16:20 Drew That's all I treat.

1:16:21 Adam It's huge, I mean, it's huge.

1:16:23 Drew Every patient.

1:16:23 Adam First-rate killer.

1:16:24 Drew I fix every patient.

1:16:24 Adam First-rate, huge. Or?

1:16:26 Drew None of them.

1:16:27 Adam Or none. I can't tell. What about the 53,000 Americans that succumb every year to second-hand smoke?

1:16:33 Drew Or not.

1:16:34 Adam I've seen the billboards, Drew. How could they be lying about it? That's as many people as died in Vietnam after five years. Second-hand smoke.

1:16:41 Drew Well, it'll take care of it now because you can't smoke on the beach, you can't smoke in the restaurants, you can't smoke in the street, you can't smoke in your car.

1:16:46 Adam They've sort of gone away from the second-hand smoke thing. Like it was sort of like the hysteria around the implants, the breast implants, silicone breast implants. Well, it was first-rate killer about four years ago, and now it's gone again. Doesn't seem to hurt anybody. Second-hand smoke, people are just dropping like flies. Kids were dropping. Now, that seems to have gone away now. It just, well, here's the way it is. We got a wild bug up our ass about harping on something that we didn't like, so we made up some facts and we went nuts with it. Now, we're kind of done. Plus, people were poking around. Jammer came out with an article. It said six people died instead of 55,000, and so we decided to reel it in a little bit. Fantastic. No long-term, no repercussions. By the way, we're all on pins and needles waiting for the next duke log you float down your river, by the way, that we're all gonna buy into. Fantastic. All right. Cassidy?

1:17:44 Drew This is Cassidy, the missile-firing squirter. You're back?

1:17:47 Adam Oh, God love you. What happened?

1:17:49 Caller My fricking phone died, so I had to go charge it. I'm on the road right now, traveling.

1:17:54 Adam I see. All right, turn whatever down.

1:17:58 Drew She charged the phone in five minutes, got back in the car?

1:18:01 Adam All right, listen. Whatever, she's a mover and a shaker, this one. So you do bachelor parties, you do a little girl on girl action, you do a toy show, and your girl partner taught you how to squirt something out of your vagina.

1:18:20 Caller Right. Yeah. I always thought it was weird, like whenever somebody was talking about how girls squirt and they think it's hot and everything, I just told them, I think it's pee, I'm pretty sure it's pee, but everybody's always saying, no, no, it's come, it's come.

1:18:35 Drew Well, most people are talking about what happens when a woman has an orgasm, not when she pushes down to, because those who are having a bowel movement, because that's when the urine comes out.

1:18:46 Adam Yeah. Also, sometimes it's hard to get your cleaning deposit back from the suite at the Ramada when you do too much squirting. I learned that the hard way with the ladies. Whoever put the credit card down, that's out of luck. So, now, do you work a lot? Do you still do in the bachelor parties?

1:19:07 Caller I haven't in a couple months because I managed to save up the money so I haven't really had the need to work a whole lot. But I used to do it pretty much every weekend.

1:19:16 Adam And you would do the girl on girl simulated lesbian act?

1:19:22 Caller Somewhat. A lot of us girls didn't really get into it a whole lot, but we did a little bit of simulation. Like one girl had really long hair. She could put her face over another girl's vagina and make it look like they were actually going on it or going at it.

1:19:35 Adam Right, right.

1:19:36 Drew You guys don't care with the details.

1:19:38 Adam Nobody was actual lesbian? Like no one really, you know, want to get it on?

1:19:42 Caller Well, I did, of course, but there's not a lot of girls that are really actually bisexual.

1:19:47 Drew You did, of course.

1:19:48 Caller Some of them are, but not a lot.

1:19:50 Adam All right, and what do you moved on to now? You just over at the library or where are you working?

1:19:56 Caller I have moved on, actually. After I got done with a little bit of dancing a couple of months ago, I started doing a little bit of porn in LA.

1:20:05 Adam Oh, okay, all right. Yeah. All right, okay.

1:20:08 Caller It was pretty fun, actually.

1:20:11 Adam All right, well, that's where you moved to. And how was it? Now, how did you, you know, your first film, how'd you get into it?

1:20:19 Caller What do you mean?

1:20:20 Adam Well, what do you do? How do you, how do you break in?

1:20:25 Caller It was actually hard. My first, one of my first big scenes was a double penetration.

1:20:32 Adam Same with Drew.

1:20:33 Caller Yeah, basically the week before the shoot, I went and bought a butt plug and got ready to go.

1:20:39 Adam Well, you know, you don't hear, you don't hear about that so much anymore, actors today. Preparing for a role.

1:20:46 Drew Preparing for implicit cues.

1:20:47 Adam Well, I, for instance, I remember hearing that-

1:20:51 Drew That internal cues.

1:20:52 Adam Saving Private Ryan, Tom Hanks and fellow actors actually bivouacked for a few days, actually did basic training, really were able to bond. And that's really, that's the mark of a professional, if you think about it. Someone's, you know, you got a double penetration scene coming. A lot of people would just, well, they'd just sit there and watch Dertivo and Mark X is on the calendar until the double P scene came, but not Cassidy. She went out and got herself a butt block.

1:21:24 Drew She took the whole notion of an internal cue to a new level.

1:21:27 Adam That's right, that's right. And so of course, when the day came for the double penetration, you were ready, yes?

1:21:34 Caller Yeah, definitely ready. I was really excited because it was with a really big company. Can I actually say the name?

1:21:39 Drew Sure.

1:21:40 Caller Evil Angel Productions and the movie is Hellcat 5.

1:21:43 Adam Sure.

1:21:43 Caller It actually came out November 24.

1:21:45 Adam No, I saw it in the theater and I read the book.

1:21:48 Drew The book was better.

1:21:49 Adam The book was better. Yeah, it was great. The double penetration chapter was awesome. So Cassidy, now what? More porn?

1:22:03 Caller I'm not really sure. I'm actually getting a boob job this Friday, so I'm going to be out for about a month before I can do anything else. I'd like to continue porn, but a lot of companies have a no fake breast policy.

1:22:17 Adam Really?

1:22:18 Caller Yeah, so I'd be stuck with stripping.

1:22:21 Adam OK, well, let me tell you something important. I hurt my back and was unable to continue playing football. You know what I mean? A lot of dreams are dashed. There's a lot of guys that blow out their knees. Not everyone's able to get to that level. She's been to the show, which is more than a lot of people can say. No fake boob policy? Yeah, a lot of porn. Let's really just examine that statement. A lot of porn companies have a no fake boob policy. Really? Think about that. Yeah, it's like a lot of lobster joints have a no bib policy. Really?

1:23:08 Caller Of course.

1:23:09 Adam And it doesn't make sense. All right, so that just means your face is a little funky, by the way, when they float the no boob policy. By the way, Cassie, why get the boob job if there's a no boob policy?

1:23:25 Caller Because something I've always wanted to do was to have breast enhancements. I have a nice boob right now, but I just always wanted something bigger and a little more attractive.

1:23:34 Adam Right, more novel. And what happened here? Abused, re-abused?

1:23:39 Caller No, nothing, I just, I love sex. I really enjoy it.

1:23:43 Adam So you're just hot, okay.

1:23:45 Caller I actually found the right, I found the right type of boyfriend who doesn't mind me dancing and corn and sex.

1:23:51 Adam No, he's sexual too.

1:23:52 Drew All right, hold on. Any bipolar illness in your family?

1:23:54 Caller No, nothing.

1:23:56 Drew And what was, and you were raised by two parents?

1:23:59 Caller Kind of. My parents got divorced when I think I was in my, maybe middle school.

1:24:04 Drew And why, why did they divorce?

1:24:08 Caller My dad was an alcoholic, pretty bad.

1:24:10 Drew Oh, well, everyone's father is not a bad alcoholic. So your childhood was just like everybody else's. So how dare anybody suggest something different about that?

1:24:18 Adam Yeah, dad was a bad alcoholic.

1:24:20 Drew And bad alcoholic means that he did some bad things.

1:24:23 Adam Yes.

1:24:25 Caller Yeah, like not coming home and like when he tried to quit, he'd have severe withdrawal, so he never really quit for good.

1:24:33 Drew And what did he do to you during these episodes of severe intoxication?

1:24:39 Adam Double penetration.

1:24:40 Caller I never, I never saw anything actually. Like I didn't even realize he was an alcoholic until he told me to my face about a year ago.

1:24:47 Drew And the severe withdrawals didn't bother you, weren't scary?

1:24:51 Caller I didn't know about it. I never, never saw anything. I didn't know my dad really was an alcoholic. I saw him drink beers all the time, but you know.

1:24:59 Drew He wasn't aggressive when he drank?

1:25:01 Caller No, he wasn't.

1:25:03 Adam All right. All right. Well, listen, you found a calling.

1:25:07 Drew She's an addict alcoholic too.

1:25:09 Adam Really?

1:25:09 Drew Yeah, it's part of this thing. She got the gene. And this is how it's manifesting. We'll see. Yeah. I bet there's a little stimulant use in there.

1:25:18 Adam Your first porn movie is Double Penetration, by the way. That's baptism by fire.

1:25:24 Drew I'm feeling a North American Indian here.

1:25:26 Adam Oh, really?

1:25:27 Drew Let me check that out.

1:25:27 Adam Really?

1:25:28 Drew Yeah.

1:25:29 Adam Cassidy?

1:25:30 Drew Yeah.

1:25:31 Adam What's your nationality?

1:25:32 Drew Your ethnicity? Where are your ancestors from?

1:25:37 Caller I think I might be Polish or German, Russian or something like that.

1:25:41 Adam All right.

1:25:42 Drew All right.

1:25:43 Adam We're going to take a...

1:25:44 Drew I really said that, that extreme need for thrill.

1:25:47 Adam Mm-hmm.

1:25:48 Drew A lot of North American Indians have that. So Scottish have that too.

1:25:51 Adam Take a quick break. Listen, we can't judge. That's one thing I've learned.

1:25:54 Drew Not judging.

1:25:55 Adam I've learned that it's impossible to judge. Physically impossible. I've attempted to judge. It's impossible. Take a quick break. Be right back after this. Hey everybody, it's Love Line. I'm Adam Nance, Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-A-V-E-191-R. Tomorrow night, everyone, Mark McGrath and Dana Devon gonna be in here from Extra. Guilty pleasure, watch shows every night. It's great to see Mark doing well. Fits right in. All right, you ready to keep on keepin on? Yeah. Jen? 23? What's up?

1:27:01 Caller Um, I've had a boyfriend for like, three years, and he moved away probably like in June. We had broken up, but like we still talk on the phone. He's out of state. He went to be with one of his children, one of three, and he just recently told me that he has feelings for his child's mother. So I hung up on him that was like two weeks ago. Like, do I make an effort to...

1:27:25 Drew No, no. Whether it's true or not, he is telling you something loud and clear. Don't get into it. Plus, he's chaos, he's a jack-off.

1:27:34 Adam He has three kids. Why do you want this chaotic idiot in your life?

1:27:38 Caller I don't know, you know, it's just like, I've been with him for three years and, you know, that was my life, that was my whole life.

1:27:43 Drew Well...

1:27:44 Adam Yeah, you built your world around him.

1:27:47 Drew Mistakenly.

1:27:48 Adam Yeah, forget it.

1:27:50 Drew Does he have three different moms, too, with these kids?

1:27:52 Caller Oh, of course.

1:27:53 Drew Oh, come on. Didn't they have a hint that there'd be trouble down the line?

1:27:57 Caller Well, I didn't know that he had three children until, like, probably in May.

1:28:03 Drew Oh, well, that makes it much better, then. Of course you'd want to stay with that guy who didn't tell you about his three kids. That would make him an even better guy. Right.

1:28:10 Caller How do I get over him, though?

1:28:12 Adam Well, something's wrong with your self-esteem. I mean, if you can't get over this loser...

1:28:19 Drew Yeah, there's something wrong with your sense of... Yeah, of what?

1:28:23 Adam I don't know, you gotta lose 50 pounds. That'll get you over him.

1:28:27 Drew Yeah?

1:28:27 Adam You a big gal?

1:28:28 Caller No. No, I'm 130.

1:28:30 Adam 130?

1:28:32 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:28:33 Adam As tall as a fire hydrant?

1:28:37 Caller No. No, I'm 53.

1:28:39 Adam Nothing wrong with you?

1:28:41 Caller No, I have... I'm pretty, I guess.

1:28:43 Adam You're pretty? Yeah. What do you do?

1:28:46 Caller I'm a legal secretary. I supported him throughout the whole relationship.

1:28:51 Adam Oh, boy.

1:28:52 Caller Yeah.

1:28:52 Adam Well, first off, it's easy to do better, this guy. Go down to a batting cage and find the guy who's handing the helmets out, and you can do better than this guy.

1:29:01 Drew I know it's not about that. I mean, if he's an abusive, unavailable a-hole, she's going to be interested in him.

1:29:04 Adam Where's... Is your dad a horrible guy?

1:29:06 Caller I consider myself more of like a daddy's girl.

1:29:10 Adam All right. Well, stop disrespecting your father by being with this idiot. And...

1:29:15 Caller No, everyone hates him, but I don't know how...

1:29:19 Adam Look, everyone hates him. He's got three kids with three different parents, three different moms. You're paying for the guy. You're attractive. You're young. You make a decent income. I don't know what's wrong. We burn in some sort of refinery fire or something. What's wrong with your personality?

1:29:37 Caller I had no idea.

1:29:39 Drew Have you ever been in a relationship before? Was this your first one? Oh, no.

1:29:43 Caller I was in a relationship for five years before him.

1:29:46 Drew What happened with that?

1:29:47 Caller Well, they were actually roommates. I kind of broke up the band. I did a Yoko Ono.

1:29:53 Drew You were in a band?

1:29:55 Caller No. Oh, no. I broke up the band.

1:29:58 Drew Oh, they're a band.

1:29:59 Adam Yeah.

1:30:00 Caller Yeah.

1:30:00 Adam Listen, Jen, we all know you can do better than this. All your friends. And by the way, everyone listen to your friends when they tell you either your ass is getting big or you could do better than this.

1:30:12 Drew Wait, what was her mom learn? This is a little F you to mom.

1:30:14 Adam Really? Oh, oh, pay back for mom? She gives you everything? When girls become daddy's girl, it's something with mom. There's a beef with mom.

1:30:31 Drew Right, it's running, we're getting refuge in dad because mom is just too abusive or whatever.

1:30:37 Adam Tell us something bad about your mom.

1:30:38 Caller Um, I've seen her have lots of relationships.

1:30:43 Drew So your parents are broken up?

1:30:45 Caller Oh, um, she's remarried, yeah, yeah.

1:30:48 Adam She didn't cheat on your dad?

1:30:50 Caller Um, he said she did. I never saw it though.

1:30:54 Drew Yeah, but Jen.

1:30:55 Adam What do you have to see? Your dad, who's, your daddy's a little girl, your dad would never lie to you, lie to you. He says your mom is ahead of Ferris.

1:31:03 Caller Yes.

1:31:04 Adam Okay.

1:31:05 Drew Doesn't that affect how you feel about your mom?

1:31:06 Caller Um, no.

1:31:08 Drew Well, here's what we know about Jen.

1:31:10 Adam Okay, it's zero insight and lots of denial. Just stop it then. Everybody, please.

1:31:16 Drew Jen, there's a lot more going on in you than you know.

1:31:17 Adam All right, here's what I want to say, everyone. I know we can't judge, but I would like you to start judging.

1:31:24 Drew Please judge. No, judge. That's not being judgemental.

1:31:26 Adam When a guy has three kids from three different women, feel free to judge. Please start judging, everybody. Let's judge. Why not judge?

1:31:36 Drew Yes, there are certain people that require, that need our judgment. That's what judgment means, right, to be able to know good, bad, right, wrong.

1:31:43 Adam Yes, and by the way, you should be punished for that. You shouldn't have a fourth woman waiting to spread her legs for you. You really shouldn't. We have to do that. And this sort of thing where, oh, the guy's got a rap sheet as long as my arm, he's got three kids from three different mommies and all kinds of stuff, but I, no, no, no, it's a bad guy.

1:32:06 Drew She gets punished too, then.

1:32:09 Adam I know we gotta take a break, but there's a notion in this society that somehow good people can do bad things over and over again. No, that's what defines a bad person. Oh, but in his heart, who gives a rat's ass what's in his heart? He's doing bad things, therefore, bad guy. Can we judge? After this. Hey, well that's a show y'all. Thanks for tuning in tomorrow night. Mark McGrath, of course, you know, from Sugar Ray, and of course, Dana Devon, you know, from Extra. And then you know both from Extra. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:33:27 Drew Loveline.

1:33:30 Caller The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:33:38 Adam The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, November 28, 2004