Episode 1000657968160

0:10 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

0:15 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

0:17 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

0:28 Hey, buddy.

0:28 Voiceover It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Elizabeth is here tonight from The Apprentice. Hello. Thursday night. It's 9 o'clock. I am a fan of the show. I think it's very well done.

0:49 Drew I am, too, and I hate reality TV.

0:51 Adam Yeah, you say that, but then...

0:52 Drew I don't know.

0:53 Adam Well, but then there's Survivor, and there's... You don't like Survivor, but there's The Apprentice and... Mark Burnett does really good work. I'll give him that. And you'd like Survivor, too, if you gave it a chance. Look, listen, wise-ass. Remember when I was telling you about the family guy about three or four years ago? And now you come in here talking my ear off about it all the time. I realize I'm always right. Stop arguing. Elizabeth is here. Elizabeth is, I'd say, the foxy one. She's smart, but definitely best-looking one of the group.

1:21 Elizabeth Jarosz Thank you, Adam.

1:22 Adam Yes, I found, except for Raj. Raj wore bow ties. But I was watching, and I haven't seen every single episode, but I saw Elizabeth, she really got hung out to dry a couple of weeks back when they did the whole NYPD. Nice, Drew. Drew just whacked the mic with his coffee mug. And Drew, you know, let me say something about you and your relationship with the coffee mug. It's a lot like when you go to the Natural History Museum. First, there was just homo sapien. And he didn't know how to work with tools or anything yet. That's what you wore a few years back. Your homo erectus. You would actually just punch the mic using your hand. And sometimes, but fashioning crude tools to damage the mic.

2:07 Drew The Pamaax.

2:08 Adam The Pamaax. But now you've advanced to mugs. I saw you whack it with your glasses the other night. You really started to move.

2:15 Drew Well done.

2:15 Elizabeth Jarosz And cool mugs at that. It says wicked.

2:17 Adam Yeah. It says porn mug. Let me tell you what was in there before coffee. Ron Jeremy's seat. So Elizabeth, so here's the thing. I was watching and you were in charge of the team on the challenge when you had to come up with a promotion or a commercial for NYPD.

2:36 Elizabeth Jarosz That's right.

2:37 Adam And it was really, I was actually yelling at the TV set. And tell me how much of this came through or didn't come through with the editing or whatever. But Elizabeth wanted to take this sort of approach that had some family, had a little heart, had a little military, had a little action, a nice mixture that was going to be run on this one-minute commercial ad that was going to be shown, I guess, in New York to try to recruit people to join the NYPD. All her guys forced her to do this whole militant thing.

3:08 Elizabeth Jarosz No, no, no. It was a mixed team, but everybody else on the team was in one camp and I was in the other.

3:12 Adam Well, there were mainly a couple of guys that were basically... They were bullying her and they were saying, let's do it. It should be all about terrorists. It should be all about paramilitary stuff. And Elizabeth didn't want to do it, but had a couple ideas. Unfortunately, and I think this is why she got escanned, didn't step forward with a strong enough idea to counter the idea that they were foisting upon her. Ended up getting this horrible idea foisted on her. Didn't want to do it. They end up doing it. And then everyone who sees it goes, well, this looks like a military training tape. This is horrible. We're frightened of it. And then the guys with the horrible idea says, Elizabeth, you shouldn't have let us do it. Is that about right?

3:57 Elizabeth Jarosz That's pretty much what was on TV.

3:59 Adam That's not what happened, though?

4:00 Elizabeth Jarosz Well, you know, there's a lot of footage. There's a lot of hours and you guys only see a few minutes. So it's shortened and it's abbreviated, obviously. But yeah, you've got the gist of it, Adam. I mean, you know, marketing is what I do for a living. And I know a lot about developing good campaigns. And Donnie Deutsch was very specific that the plan.

4:19 Adam Hold on. I almost vomited into my trash can after taking a look at Donnie Deutsch. By the way, is there, Drew?

4:25 Elizabeth Jarosz That tight blue shirt, are you kidding me?

4:27 Adam Is there any? Okay, you tell me this guy. We see him in LA. They used to be all over William Morris when I used to be there. You see him in Madison Avenue, New York. It's the dude, it's the 40-something year old dude who works out all the time and wears the tight shirt and has the hair slicked back and weaves in at the end of the day 170 times a sentence. At the end of the day, people, it's about getting to the end of the day. You want to get to the end of the day at the end of the day. At the end of the day, I'm going to say at the end of the day, okay? So at the end of the day, oh, this guy just, you know, it's great. And these guys run their own businesses, so no one can ever call them a-holes or blow hearts or anything. Everyone just has to talk behind their back and cover the trail of sebum and Grecian formula they leave behind them like snails, they're just working out all the time. A couple of third trophy wife or whatever. Sometimes gay too. And then also it's confusing sexually.

5:20 Elizabeth Jarosz You know, Adam, most of the time when someone talks about someone so much, it's because they're jealous.

5:23 Adam Oh, my God. I only saw the guy.

5:28 Drew He's going to have to talk for the next 70 minutes then because he talks about everybody this much.

5:32 Adam No, I've only seen the guy one time, I just realized I hate blow hearts. I hate my skin crawls and he was just sitting at the end of this board table beaming because someone for once wanted his opinion on something and he was like people at the end of the day to please. What a slimeball. He tried to get in your pants, right?

5:51 Elizabeth Jarosz Actually no.

5:52 Adam Really?

5:52 Elizabeth Jarosz There wasn't time.

5:53 Adam I hate him more. Now I have no respect for him. I had this much respect for him and then I find out he didn't come on to you. Now I have zero respect for the man.

6:01 Elizabeth Jarosz Neither did Trump, by the way.

6:01 Adam Really?

6:02 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah.

6:03 Adam Zero respect. Zero respect. So, what don't... Deutsch is a blowhard, though, right? Like huge blowhard, right?

6:12 Elizabeth Jarosz No comment. I'm pleading the fifth on that one.

6:13 Drew It seems like everyone that comes off The Apprentice is one of the shows where people are not bashing one another as they leave. Every other show, it's like, ah, that pain that I got. Even Jeff Probst just bashes all the contestants on The Survivor.

6:25 Adam Well, he was pretty high when he was in here.

6:27 Elizabeth Jarosz You know, I didn't bash anybody on the show either, though, Dr. Drew.

6:29 Drew But that's what I'm saying, is that everyone speaks highly of Trump. I don't know if that's just how you're afraid you're going to run into one another in business life and the world again.

6:39 Adam Well, no. You know what I think it is? I think everybody's so highly educated and so refined that they don't really...

6:46 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah, the truth of the matter is there were so many really smart, competent, I mean, just amazing people on this show. And I think that it's important to make sure that people know that.

6:56 Drew That comes through, by the way. That does come through. That's why I like the show.

6:59 Adam Cream of the crop. But, on the other hand, I will say this with all the incredible education and the accolades as far as...

7:10 Elizabeth Jarosz I kind of think they made some of us look like morons to be honest.

7:14 Drew Well, maybe, again, it...

7:17 Elizabeth Jarosz I mean, I know some of these people personally. And you know, the true spirit really did not come through.

7:22 Drew Well, I thought it was interesting. Almost every person that Trump kicks off says things like, you're going to have an amazing career, you're going to do amazing in life. But I got to get rid of you. Kind of like you didn't hear that last season.

7:33 Elizabeth Jarosz In the whole episode, you were like made to look like you're a total idiot.

7:36 Adam Well, wait a minute, Elizabeth, did you get tossed before the even showdown?

7:43 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah, yeah. I didn't get a chance to have a boardroom even.

7:45 Adam Never even saw that.

7:46 Elizabeth Jarosz No, no.

7:47 Adam Drew, never before in history.

7:49 Elizabeth Jarosz I'm glad you watched it, Dr. Drew.

7:50 Drew No, I don't watch every week. I miss that particular episode.

7:53 Adam Sure.

7:57 Elizabeth Jarosz I wouldn't be here with you if I was still there.

7:58 Drew We'll see. We'd make up for it.

8:00 Adam This is a show he likes, by the way, so he doesn't even watch ones he enjoys. No, here's what happens. They do that thing where, okay, everyone sits down, the whole losing team sits down, and then they give the team captain, the leader, a choice. You want to take two people, you want to take three people, everyone else splits and goes back to the apartment. Usually you pick two people and then you go at it. Now, that's the finals. Trump tossed Elizabeth off before. He said, we don't even do it. You're gone.

8:28 Elizabeth Jarosz I tell everybody, I like to do everything big. You know, I got to make a big statement.

8:32 Adam Has that ever happened before?

8:33 Elizabeth Jarosz No, it was unprecedented. I mean, history. I mean, apprentice history.

8:38 Adam Let me tell you what that is. That is like, not only did your kids little league team lose the game, but the slaughter rule was enacted. The team was up, they got to the third inning, the other team was up 28 runs and they went, let's go home.

8:50 Elizabeth Jarosz I do have to say though, Adam, had I been given a boardroom, I don't think there's any way I would have been fired. There's just no way.

8:56 Drew Really? Yeah.

8:57 Elizabeth Jarosz I mean, I was right and I did too many great things in the task. I didn't actually get to tell Trump all the stuff I got to do, so he didn't have all the information when he fired me.

9:05 Adam Venom, man. They were going after her. But here's the thing, and here's the problem, which was sort of a catch-22 as I see it, which is, yeah, you're right in that this horrible idea that everyone hated was not your idea and you announced to the world you thought it was a horrible idea, yet you as the team leader went along with it. But it seems that— And that's the problem they had, I think.

9:25 Drew I think there was a lot of precedent, what I've seen so far, there was a lot of resentments built when team leaders went, I hear you all, but we're just going to go the way I said. And the people were like, hey, that bitch is paying the ass, isn't it?

9:36 Adam Yeah.

9:36 Drew You didn't want to be the one that already built the precedent.

9:39 Elizabeth Jarosz No, I never went along with it. I mean, I recognize that that's kind of how it looked, but that wasn't at all the case.

9:44 Adam I didn't mean went along with it. I just mean it was a sort of situation where it's like, look, we got 48 hours, we don't have anything in the can, we got to do something, and they just sort of went along.

9:54 Elizabeth Jarosz My mistake was I delegated the creative and asked for three ideas, and they came back to me with one that was really bad. When I told them to change it, they just kind of were so passionate about it, they wouldn't. It's a situation where you're playing a reality show game at the end of the day, and when they see that... At the end of the day. I've been influenced heavily. No, but whenever you're on one side and everybody else is on the other, you make yourself a prime target. Right. And so, basically, what it is, is everyone says, hmm, this is going to be an easy one. Let's just sort of be all over here, and then she'll be all over there, and then that's the next one fired. And really, it's about a strategy to get to the end for these other people. And so, I wasn't surprised that they all kind of ganged up on me.

10:37 Adam Well, ultimately, you may, and it even sounds like you already are, possibly forging a better career than you would have had working under the thumb of Trump.

10:47 Elizabeth Jarosz This has been a great experience for me. I mean, more people are asking about my business, Pulse 40, so I'm getting a lot of new clients that way. And then, also, I was telling Dr. Drew earlier, I've developed an interview process. And so, people are picking up on that and asking me to do that in other environments like on camera.

11:03 Adam I've worked one out, too, here on this show, which is I talk about my high school football days to whoever the guest is while they sit there and hope we go to college.

11:11 Drew Be fair, you talk about high school football.

11:12 Adam What did you play? Oh, I played guard on offense and linebacker on defense.

11:17 Elizabeth Jarosz Oh, both sides.

11:18 Drew Oh, yes. He talks about getting his teachers to kiss his ass.

11:23 Adam Oh, yeah.

11:24 Drew You talk about being a millionaire and paying a lot of taxes.

11:27 Adam I'm literally a millionaire.

11:29 Drew Yes, literally. You talk about the early pickup of the garbage and the late delivery for the mail.

11:34 Adam Missed them this morning, by the way.

11:35 Elizabeth Jarosz And it must be noted that you have a haircut.

11:37 Adam I got a haircut, too.

11:38 Drew And a shave.

11:38 Adam I wasn't planning on talking about that. All right, should we take some phone calls? Yeah, true.

11:44 Valerie?

11:46 Adam 26?

11:47 Yep.

11:48 Adam What's up?

11:49 Okay, I've been seeing this guy since I was like 17. I've lost my virginity to him, and he's been like always in my life. And then like about a year ago, he proposed to me, but like a couple months after we got engaged, he like broke up with me and said that he wasn't in love with me and that he never was. And then like two months later, he like asked me back and said that he was the one.

12:09 Drew What's your question? We got the picture.

12:12 He wants me, he broke up with me again and now he's like saying that he wants me back himself and I don't know if I should go back. I don't know. I don't know what to do.

12:22 Drew No way.

12:23 Why did he break up with you? Hold on.

12:26 Adam Quiet down. First off, you're 26 and it sounds like, you know, this is Tiger Beat Hotline and you're babysitting.

12:33 Elizabeth Jarosz But you guys, this is nine years. That's a long time.

12:36 Drew It's eight years that should never have happened. It happened only because of the fact that they had sex when they were teenagers and then bonded them together and they had this chaotic on again off again thing along and she needs to get something else going. She just hasn't got anything else.

12:48 Adam By the way, she got put in like a time capsule when she met this guy in 17 and it doesn't sound like she's moved forward. You know, you got to love and lose a little bit everybody to kind of mature, ripen, just a little bit. A little bit of college wouldn't hurt either, Valerie.

13:05 Elizabeth Jarosz Hey, Valerie. I think the thing for you is you got to decide what you really need, you know, and you got to go with that, and I don't think it's probably a guy who's going to make you feel like this, right?

13:14 Right. Well, I mean, I did graduate from college. I got my, I'm a pharmacy technician. And, you know, I love my life. I do social science research, and, you know, I have a lot of friends. It's just, you know, he keeps popping back up in my life, and that was that I had friends.

13:28 Drew Stay with that healthy instinct of moving on. Do not let the, let this chaos pervade your life.

13:33 Adam Where is he going when he announces he's breaking up? What does he do?

13:38 What do I do?

13:39 Adam What does he do?

13:40 Drew Where does he go?

13:40 I don't know. He doesn't tell me.

13:43 Adam I know. Here's the thing. Guys break up because, yeah, guys break up because they want to do something, or because they think they're going to get busted doing something. I mean, the guys that come back and forth. You know what I mean?

13:54 Drew Yes. They're up to something.

13:55 Adam There's a certain guy.

13:57 Drew Not necessarily something pernicious. It's just, they've got stuff to do.

14:00 Adam Well, there's a certain guy out there who wants to bang other chicks, wants to get into heaven, doesn't want it to go on his record. So, he breaks up right before he starts screwing around with the chick he met on the internet. That goes on for a few months and then he's done with that. He comes back and then they break up when he meets the next chick on the internet. The yo-yoing, that's what it feels like to me. And yes, hold on. No. Where's Valerie? Valerie.

14:22 Yeah.

14:23 Adam These are the words of a woman who has a large ass.

14:28 Um, not really. Medium.

14:31 Drew Chicago medium.

14:32 Adam Let me tell you what medium is. Medium is a deep dish pan. Yeah. Yeah, what? Give me a...

14:37 Elizabeth Jarosz Hey, I'm from the Midwest. Be careful.

14:39 Adam Give me, uh, give me your dimensions, please.

14:42 Drew I'll tell you.

14:43 Um, I guess I'm six foot and I weigh about 180.

14:48 Drew You're fat.

14:49 Adam Hold on. Would you fit through the St. Louis Arch if we got, if you ran? You're overweight. All right. Hold on a second. Hold on. Hold on now. Wait a minute.

15:00 Drew How dare you, Adam?

15:01 How dare you?

15:02 Adam First off, I'm scared. Here's the deal. I don't know. Whenever I hear, when I hear the word tech with any female job, I just picture those big hospital scrubs. Let me tell you something about the hospital scrubs. You want to know what? Nurses are all fat. You don't want to know why? Because they wear the billowy crap and they can, they grow like a goldfish gets as big as its aquarium. You know what I'm saying? Office women, Elizabeth.

15:25 Elizabeth Jarosz You grow into your clothes? Is that what you're saying?

15:27 Adam Well, hear me out. Hear me out. I just, you know what, I had a couple thoughts about this today.

15:32 Elizabeth Jarosz So if I have a big house, does that mean I'm bigger than if I have a smaller house?

15:35 Adam Unless you're Asian, yes. Asians will have bigger houses and remain the same size.

15:40 Elizabeth Jarosz That's because there's so many people staying close together.

15:42 Adam I will, seriously, please. Please hear me out. Elizabeth, you're a shapely attractive woman. You go to work, you wear business attire, you wear smart, tailored things. When you wear suits and tailored skirts and blouses and jackets and stuff, you put on five pounds, you feel it. I mean, you put the pants on after Thanksgiving and it's like, oh, man. And your first thought is, boy, I've got to work this off. You feel it. If you walk around in sweatpants all the time and just essentially, scrubs are even bigger than sweatpants.

16:17 Drew There's no feedback.

16:17 Adam There's no feedback. So you just keep growing. Look at some of these. You wear comfortable shoes and you wear, uh-huh, and you... Your feet become huge. Your feet.

16:26 Drew Like flippers.

16:27 Adam I'm telling you, you wear the nursing shoes, you get those scrubs on, you just keep growing. I was thinking about this today. I was actually at the gym and I was thinking, you know what? We shouldn't let...

16:37 Drew Oh, the relaxing gym.

16:38 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah.

16:38 Adam We shouldn't let fat guys grow beards because they do the same thing. They would normally have that big, goitery, you know, triple chin and stuff, but they grow the beard and they just carve themselves a chin and then they just keep packing it on. They get a flannel shirt.

16:51 Elizabeth Jarosz No.

16:51 Adam And they just think, well, I got it. I got big forearms and a nicely shaped chin. No. Fat guys shouldn't be able to have beards and nurses should have to wear the candy, the super tight candy striper.

17:01 Drew I'm shocked you didn't do the radio math on Valerie though.

17:03 Adam Well, I'm going to do it on Valerie because Valerie, when she says she's six foot and 180, that means...

17:11 Drew Oh no.

17:12 Adam No. I mean, seriously, look, you talk to people. You claim you like to talk to people. You know how people lie. I'd say, I don't even want to touch the height, but I'm guessing we're at least 194, 195. I mean, easily. It's... I mean, people... Look, the radio's got to be about the same as your license, and people lie a good 15, 20% on their license weight. You know what I'm saying? Maybe more so than a license. Valerie? All right. Here's why I'm harping on you. Here's what's going on. You're a person that doesn't feel great about yourself, so you sit around and take whatever scraps of love this guy will give you, okay? You need to take charge. You're better than this. You're educated. You have plenty to offer. You make a nice living. This guy's a screw up. He got to you early. He eroded your self-esteem.

18:00 Drew And he keeps working it. He's just working you.

18:02 Adam Yes. You are a good couple months of some diet, some exercise, and like listen to a little classical music, putting your headphones on and going for a walk in the morning away from being rid of this guy.

18:14 Elizabeth Jarosz Be strong, baby.

18:15 Adam That's what you need to do.

18:16 Drew All right.

18:17 Adam You need to motivate. All right?

18:19 All right.

18:20 Drew All right.

18:22 Hoorah!

18:22 Adam And can you what? Can you get Quailoods still? No. No, no Quailoods? All right. Well, we're done. I just saw someone brought up Quailoods at the office here. I got to get some of those. Lonnie?

18:35 Drew Motivate!

18:35 Elizabeth Jarosz Lonnie or 19?

18:49 Drew I'm going to call him.

18:50 Elizabeth Jarosz I'm going to call him. It wasn't really big, and now it's like, it's so huge.

18:59 And I know he hasn't been taking anything for that, but like, what happened?

19:05 Elizabeth Jarosz What?

19:05 Elizabeth Jarosz Dr. Drew's face is stumped.

19:07 Drew Oh no, I mean, he was 18, right? He was 18?

19:12 Elizabeth Jarosz No, he was 21, and now he's 22.

19:15 Drew Wow, that's unusual. But the man's penis can't grow up to 21. And some guys actually will have some change based on their circulating testosterone levels. So having a girlfriend, being working out more, being in a position of authority, these things change male's testosterone level. That shouldn't be from medium to huge.

19:33 Elizabeth Jarosz Seriously, a position of authority?

19:36 It's got like about two and two.

19:38 Drew Presidents have very high levels of testosterone. Yeah, absolutely. Men's testosterone levels change profoundly based on what's happening in their life.

19:44 Elizabeth Jarosz Amazing. No wonder women go after powerful men.

19:49 Drew That's what you're looking for.

19:51 Adam Yeah, wow.

19:52 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah.

19:52 Adam I guess we know Elizabeth's story.

19:54 Elizabeth Jarosz You know. So I hear.

19:57 Drew We do.

19:58 Adam We're done, by the way. This conversation is over, Elizabeth. I've had enough of this. I don't need to sit here and take this.

20:04 Drew I know it's a little touchy for you.

20:05 Adam I really am.

20:05 Drew I know. It's difficult.

20:06 Adam Lonnie?

20:07 Elizabeth Jarosz Yes?

20:07 Drew I'm fine, by the way.

20:08 Adam All right. So maybe add a growth spurt, so to speak. But either way, is it causing a problem?

20:16 Elizabeth Jarosz No, it's fine.

20:17 But is it because we have a lot of sex?

20:21 Drew Is that what's doing it? Yeah, it's helping.

20:23 Adam Yeah, I don't know. I mean, also, I don't know, I mean, the body does seem to sort of cycle sometimes, too. I mean, there are times when you get up, you get out of the shower, you look at yourself in the mirror and you go, whoa, wow, looking good. And then later on that night or the next day, something happens. I don't know how it works.

20:43 Drew And no one has ever studied these kinds of things, really, in any kind of systematic way. So we can't really address it in any kind of complete way. But I agree with you. I think things do change.

20:52 Adam They're also days, as I've been thinking about it, it's interesting. They're days when you're just lucid and sharp and on top and it's everything. And everyone wants to attribute it to diet and sleep and everything. But I don't think it is. I've never made any correlation. But they're just, they're good days and they're bad days. I kind of think that successful people just have more good days.

21:12 Drew Yeah. What we noticed, too, is we're having to express ourselves with language all the time. And if you have trouble, you know, just putting thoughts together and expressing them, you really notice it.

21:21 Adam Yes.

21:22 Drew And I, and I, like you, I cannot figure out why some days it just flows and some days it just does not.

21:27 Adam Right. Which, which day is this, by the way, for you?

21:31 Drew When it, when it flows?

21:32 Adam No, today.

21:34 Drew Well, obviously not today.

21:35 Right.

21:36 Adam Thank you. Well, you're realistic.

21:37 I like that about you.

21:38 Drew Perfect assessment.

21:39 Adam Elizabeth is here tonight from The Apprentice, nine o'clock on Thursday nights, NBC. I think my new show, Drawn Together, is on Comedy Central.

21:50 Drew I found one of my kids watching my show.

21:52 Adam Oh, Stilfy. Yeah, he should be upset. I think that's on tonight at ten thirty. You gotta check that out. It's a big hit.

22:00 Drew Oh, so maddening.

22:01 Adam Thank you. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

22:12 Drew Loveline is brought to you by Sprint PCS with ReadyLink.

22:29 Adam Subs www.zeoranger.co.uk Hey, everybody, Loveline and Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Elizabeth is here tonight from The Apprentice, the fantastic show The Apprentice. She's booted off the week before last, right? Wasn't Raj kicked off last week?

22:45 Elizabeth Jarosz Raj was last week.

22:47 Adam Nice to see him go.

22:48 Elizabeth Jarosz And another one tomorrow night.

22:50 Adam Yeah.

22:51 Elizabeth Jarosz That's all right. It's coming up.

22:52 Adam And, I don't know who's...

22:54 Drew There's some difficult women in that group.

22:56 Elizabeth Jarosz Yes, that's true.

22:58 Adam The women don't do as well with the women as the men do with the men.

23:02 I think I've learned.

23:03 Adam Well, something we've known.

23:04 Elizabeth Jarosz But you know, if you watched last season, the women dominated when they were together.

23:08 Adam They did. They still seem like there's more in-fighting with them, even though they were productive. And they did win. It's horrible for guys to get beat consistently. It really is. Women, you get beat by guys, you don't like it, but we have the part where we got beat and then we got beat by women. You just have the part where you got beat. Think about it.

23:28 Elizabeth Jarosz Let's think about that underlying assumption there, Adam, that's making that bother you.

23:32 Adam It bothers all men.

23:33 Drew It's back to the small penis again.

23:36 Adam You know what I'm talking about.

23:37 Elizabeth Jarosz Well, now I do.

23:38 Adam Women?

23:39 Elizabeth Jarosz I've been educated.

23:40 Drew You know what? I disagree with you, because when you've been, I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why.

23:43 Adam All right, well, be prepared to be wrong.

23:45 Drew Well, that men that have been competing with women straight along through their author professional training, you don't really make that distinction. It's just a peer competing with you.

23:55 Adam No, untrue because.

23:57 Elizabeth Jarosz So Adam, are you saying that you don't consider women peers? Is that what you're saying?

24:02 Adam No, well, first off, to me, peers are things that hold up peers, they're like the pylons. Yeah, you just go, they have, there's old guys there who close one eye when they talk and they call you champ. And they're fishing for lunch. No, here's, I love the gals, but here's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, is as a male, it starts in the schoolyard. If a girl beats you at sporting, you know, that's how you compete, really. You compete in sports when you're very young, you're in the third grade. If a woman beats you, it's considered humiliating. For guys, it carries on into life to some degree. For some guys, it's almost nothing. For other guys, it's a huge deal. But there's usually a little something. If you got a little testosterone flowing through you, you don't like being, you'd rather just be beat by a guy than you would be beat by a woman. Now, as a woman, the idea of being beat by a guy is almost, this is gonna sound horrible, expected as far as society goes. Society.

25:05 Drew Great, now more like graceful.

25:07 Adam Yeah, you've done the right thing. Yeah, you were noble. All I'm saying is, is when we get beat, you know what it feels like? Here's what it feels like. It feels like we were the favorite and we lost to the underdog. When you feel like you're the underdog and you lose to the favorite, you can hold your head up high. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying for guys, it's a one-two. You lost and you were the favorite. Societal, somehow you felt it in your ego.

25:34 Elizabeth Jarosz I can see how you would feel like that if you were basing it on things like physical challenges, you know, like sports and things like that.

25:39 Adam It's not logical.

25:40 Drew Particularly guys that don't go through their lengthy educational career with women, they remain back with that physical.

25:45 Elizabeth Jarosz I think that's the main difference is if you have been challenged intellectually and you're comparing those kinds of things and having those experiences, then you do grow up with a sense of peer relationship.

25:56 Adam You do, yes.

25:57 Elizabeth Jarosz But you know, you're an athlete, so we get it.

26:01 Adam No, no.

26:02 Drew Poor athlete.

26:03 Adam And a celloist as well. No, all I'm saying is it is a guy, you know, we operate on certain levels, doesn't matter whatever.

26:14 Elizabeth Jarosz See, I used to beat guys at races and stuff. So I'm having a hard time, you know.

26:19 Adam No, I'm not saying that guys don't, I'm not saying guys win every event. I'm just saying it stings more from a woman. That's the way it goes. It's, by the way, every time you make one of these distinctions, difference between genders, it's perceived as some sort of genderism or some sort of sexism. It's not, it's just the way it is. Guys, guys.

26:42 Drew You're just describing a state of affairs.

26:44 Adam That's right. That's what I'm saying. I'm not saying it's good that they think that way.

26:50 It's worse when you lose.

26:51 Elizabeth Jarosz Not that there's anything wrong with that.

26:53 Right.

26:53 Drew Very, very defensive, Adam Lakers.

26:55 Adam I'm defensive. Look at this one.

26:57 Elizabeth Jarosz I gotta represent. I'm the only chick here.

26:59 Adam Yeah, but, okay. Hey, what do you got over here? Josh?

27:04 Yes.

27:06 Adam You're 21.

27:07 Caller Correct.

27:08 Adam And by the way, you're not the only chick. You got Drew. Josh? Thank you.

27:15 Caller During sex, my girlfriend, she contracts her vagina muscles and it actually pushes my penis out and it's very hard to put it back in. And I was wondering, she said this never happened with any other guy. And so I'm not sure what-

27:31 Drew How old is she?

27:32 Caller She's 20.

27:34 Drew Well, you're describing vaginismus, which is sort of a spasmodic contracture of the pelvic floor musculature. And it usually makes it difficult to achieve penetration. And it can be painful for women when they're having this thing. And why is she's having it? Maybe nervous, anxious, maybe there's an anatomical-

27:53 Adam Why halfway into it, though? You don't hear about that.

27:57 Caller No, it's-

27:57 Drew No, that's right.

27:59 Caller We're pretty well into it when it starts. And it'll actually push me out and then it's hard to get it back in. And we can eventually get it, but it's really hard.

28:10 Adam Sure, now I know, but you really have to buckle down when you get a running start, like a tube of margarine. Yeah, you really got to focus. You got that ninja. All right, and by the way, the guys, boy, when it comes to, even guys that don't finish, finish the orgasm, you know what I mean? Like guys can't turn in anything, can't finish any homework, can't do their book report, can't keep a job, they can't do, the orgasm, oh man. They're like ninjas.

28:36 Drew They're better at, those guys are-

28:37 Adam Those guys are actually better at that.

28:38 Drew Right.

28:39 Adam Yeah, they're hell bent for leather when it comes to finishing the orgasm. All right, I don't know, do you know?

28:46 Drew She can be treated for vaginismus, she can-

28:48 Adam How does she get treated for it?

28:50 Drew How long has it been going on for with her?

28:51 Adam How does she get treated for it?

28:53 Drew There's various treatments out there. They even have pressure cylinders.

28:56 Caller The last few times, we've only been dating for two weeks and only had sex.

29:00 Drew Oh no, no, no, all bets are off. You're right at the beginning. Just get things relaxed, calm down, take it easy. Once you guys are comfortable together, this thing probably will quiet down, all right?

29:10 Caller Okay.

29:10 Drew All right, good times. All right, enjoy. Abadonza.

29:14 Adam I want this guy's, this guy's, all right, just got out of the joint. I want to talk to him. Mark?

29:20 Yeah.

29:21 Adam 27?

29:22 Yes, sir.

29:23 Adam What's up?

29:25 Like you said, I just got out of jail. Actually, I got out of jail and went to rehab. And I'm a recovering drug addict and I got a nine-year-old kid. And I was wondering if there's anything I can do, maybe when he's 11 or 12, counseling-wise, it's gonna help him from becoming a drug addict or a virus.

29:45 Drew Do you think he-

29:45 Adam Hold on, you're calling from Oklahoma? All right, I'm going out on a limb here. Are you Jewish?

29:51 No, I'm Indian, bro.

29:54 Adam You believe I'm wrong about that.

29:56 Indian?

29:57 Drew Well, that's interesting. Mark, usually it's about 50% per child the probability of getting the gene from your dad.

30:03 Well, my dad's an alcoholic, that's why.

30:05 Adam If you're Indian.

30:06 Drew If you're Indian, it's higher, believe it or not. I have a Cherokee particular, I've noticed it's almost a Choctaw.

30:12 Adam Navajo. What are you?

30:14 Drew Choctaw.

30:15 Adam Oh, Choctaw.

30:16 Drew What's that?

30:17 Adam It's Choctaw. Yeah.

30:18 Drew That's what you speak.

30:19 Adam I do speak a little Choctaw.

30:20 Elizabeth Jarosz Oh my gosh.

30:22 Adam Yeah. Do you speak any Choctaw?

30:24 No.

30:26 Adam Because we can talk, you know.

30:28 I hear you.

30:29 Drew Choctaw is, if I understand, is sort of that's that southeastern related to Cherokee.

30:37 Elizabeth Jarosz I can understand it. I just can't speak it. So, do you want me to translate?

30:43 Drew We will get a visit from Chief Thunderbird and Elizabeth will translate. This is gonna be good. All right, but here's the deal, Mark. So there's a high probability that he has the genetic predisposition.

30:53 Caller Okay, well, I mean, is there anything I can do?

30:55 Drew Yeah, yeah, there's two things. There's a couple things you can do.

30:57 Caller A, Because he's kind of visiting me in jail and in rehab, I'm not allowed to run in the wallet.

31:02 Drew Here's the deal. Your instincts are right on with this. A, get him involved in your recovery. Get him to Allotine Codependency Recovery Programs, all right? B, educate him as much you can about the disease and the consequences it's had for you. And then C, if you can get him an individual therapist, if you can afford that, now's the time.

31:20 Caller Like when he's nine years old, this is, I mean, This is the time.

31:23 Drew In fact, most, I was involved with an expert, with a group of experts down at the Carter Center in Atlanta, and everyone decided that the consensus there was that if you can intervene by eight, you have the highest probability of really making it. Well, you bring it on. You sound like you're right in the right place for helping him. And your recovery, by the way, your sustained recovery will have a greater impact on him than just about anything else.

31:49 Caller Y'all's pretty big in jail, man.

31:51 Adam Thank you.

31:51 Caller Everybody. You got a radio, man, from 10 to 12. They got that Loveline on.

31:56 Adam Oh, really?

31:57 Caller Yeah.

31:57 Adam Well, I'm gonna give a shout out to all my felon peeps out there.

32:00 Drew Which prison was this?

32:02 Caller This is just, I was just in a county, Tulsa County.

32:05 Drew Everyone in Tulsa County, give a shout out.

32:07 Adam I'll tell you, it's too bad those folks, you know, they don't get the Arbitron books over there. You never know about the ratings. You know what I mean? I've always felt like, I felt like if they gave the incarcerated those ratings books, we'd be number one in every city we're at. The incarcerated people love us. The captive audience is really our audience.

32:24 Elizabeth Jarosz I can see that about you.

32:25 Adam Yeah, they draw pictures, send them to you once in a while.

32:30 Elizabeth Jarosz Everybody loves you guys though. I mean, come on.

32:32 Adam Yeah, but for some reason, I don't know what it is. I think when you're incarcerated, you want to hear some talk.

32:39 Drew Yeah.

32:40 Adam Like if I was incarcerated and I was just lying there before lights out or lights just went out and I heard man eater, I would kill myself. I would, you know, I'd pull the lid off my toilet and I would whack myself in the head until I died.

32:51 Drew In fact, yeah.

32:52 Adam Yeah, but I would like to hear the nasally drone of my own voice. I would actually, that's what I'd do. If I ever got in the joint, I would do my own radio show from the Hole.

33:01 Drew Well, it sort of, it represents, as you said.

33:04 Adam Yeah, yeah, the show, we keep it real, right?

33:07 Drew All right.

33:07 Adam Keeping it real. Motivate. Simplify. Elizabeth here from The Apprentice, Thursday nights, nine o'clock on NBC. We'll not break yet. Let's talk to you, William. You wanna talk to Gwen? Elizabeth, what's, is there anything surprising about Trump? Is there anything?

33:30 Elizabeth Jarosz Yes, he has a sense of humor.

33:32 Adam Good sense of humor.

33:32 Elizabeth Jarosz A huge sense of humor. He's very funny.

33:35 Adam Really?

33:35 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah.

33:35 Drew Well, he's always so...

33:37 Elizabeth Jarosz He seems so serious, right?

33:39 Drew He's serious with you guys.

33:40 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah, he's very serious.

33:41 Drew When does he get to break it down?

33:42 Elizabeth Jarosz You know, every once in a while, the cameras, we'd be waiting for something and he would crack a joke and he was so funny. I wish they would put it on camera more often.

33:49 Adam Is he funny like, hey, this guy owns the building, laugh it up funny, or is he really funny?

33:53 Elizabeth Jarosz Well, nobody's funny like you, Adam, but...

33:55 Caller Yeah, yeah.

33:57 Drew This woman knows exactly what to say.

33:59 Elizabeth Jarosz True has his own style, you know?

34:02 Adam Yeah, all right, okay.

34:04 Drew I had dinner with him once.

34:05 Adam You did? Yeah. Was he funny? Hold on, Drew does this kind of stuff, you and 185 people?

34:10 Drew No, no, no. I had, we were at, we were judging in this contest and there was 12 judges and there were four people at a table.

34:19 Elizabeth Jarosz All Miss Universe.

34:20 Drew At my table was Martha Stewart and Donald Trump. Really?

34:24 Elizabeth Jarosz At your table.

34:25 Drew At my table. Wow. And there was just the four of us. Wow.

34:28 Adam You, your wife?

34:30 Drew No, no, no, I don't remember the four of us.

34:32 Adam You don't remember the other person?

34:33 Drew Yeah.

34:33 Adam Still could have been your wife.

34:35 Drew Somebody from, somebody from, nice.

34:37 Adam Oh.

34:37 Drew It was somebody from the organization, the MSUSA organization.

34:41 Adam Okay, but by the way, if it had been your wife, you would have to have the sniper on call.

34:44 Elizabeth Jarosz Did you see that white man overbite in like one of the Apprentice episodes where he's watching the models or something? That was funny.

34:51 Adam Oh yeah. Oh yeah, no, where he's sitting there.

34:53 Elizabeth Jarosz Where he's kind of dancing like this, you know? He's got the mm.

34:56 Adam You know about Trump?

34:57 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah, true.

34:57 Adam Yeah, Trump just.

34:59 Elizabeth Jarosz It's my favorite.

35:00 Adam Trump just sitting there next to his super hot Euro trash. Melania. Melania. Melania.

35:06 Elizabeth Jarosz She's gorgeous, you guys. She's a more beautiful person.

35:08 Drew Super hot Euro trash, is that what you call it?

35:11 Adam And by the way, her real name is probably Geraldine, but you know, when they come over here.

35:14 Elizabeth Jarosz You know we went to dinner there, in episode one, on my team one, and we went to dinner. It was like being in a castle. I mean, in a palace.

35:20 Adam Well, first off, but Trump's, Never there. Trump's condo looks like a Turkish whorehouse. I mean, oh my God. It's ridiculous. I mean, I don't know what part of the, is Trump a Middle Eastern name? Where'd he get that horrible taste, by the way?

35:35 Elizabeth Jarosz I think he's branded it in that area.

35:37 Adam Oh my God, please, buddy. There's something called taste, use it. But here's the thing. He's up there, his girlfriend or whatever, du jour, smoking hot, just a crazy smoking hot. But he's sitting there watching the Miss Universe or Miss USA pageant, whatever he owns. He's just sitting there, it looks like a cheetah in the high brush looking at, you know what he did, looking at the zebras at the watering hole. Just thinking, where's my next victim? I'm getting one of these chicks, maybe two. Yeah, all right, all right.

36:08 Drew All right, now we're breaking.

36:09 Adam Let me say this, too.

36:10 Drew Please don't, do, don't.

36:12 Adam Trump, he really, he does his house up like, his whole house looks like Elvis' bathroom. I mean, it's ridiculous, right? He dates all these Euro trash chicks. Do you think he feels like he doesn't have class or something and he has to kind of compensate and go the other direction? Like, feels.

36:30 Elizabeth Jarosz Kind of like guys who buy big cars.

36:32 Adam Yeah.

36:33 Drew It's a penis thing.

36:34 Adam He's trying too hard. No, I'm not saying small penis. I think it's a part of him that feels, this happens to us-

36:39 Drew That's what guys do with a small penis. They compensate. He's compensating.

36:43 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah, but Trump has a lot of power.

36:44 Adam I'm saying-

36:46 Elizabeth Jarosz In a conversation that would impact that in a positive-

36:48 Adam Well, maybe one from tiny to small.

36:50 Drew Right, see.

36:50 Adam Okay, but here's the thing. No, I don't feel that way. I mean, I just feel like, I think sometimes that rich Americans don't feel like they belong or they feel sort of rich but stupid and rich. They don't feel classy and elegant. They feel elegant and rich. It's not that European rich. So they go over the top by getting it, you know. So you don't want to be seen with the ditzy American chick. You get the Euro chick and you do everything up in this sort of Gotti Euro style. Yes?

37:15 Drew Yes, thank you.

37:16 Adam All right, thank you. Now who has insight?

37:18 Drew And also, I looked at that though and I thought to myself at a certain point, I wonder if people get bored with other kinds of style and if they've got unlimited funds, there's just this one to go after, which is the overdone one.

37:29 Adam This is why, you know why? This is why I believe the Richard Gere gerbil in the ass story. You're nailing Cindy Crawford for a few years like, where you go? Get the gerbil, call, hey, bring out the gerbil.

37:45 Drew Size of a gerbil.

37:49 Adam All right, Rabian Nights reference, everyone. Elizabeth is here from The Apprentice. We'll take a quick break, be right back after this. Loveline.

38:20 Elizabeth Jarosz I'm Adam.

38:23 Adam Tomorrow night on the show, we're gonna have Jason Bateman and Will Arnett from Arrested Development, which is really the darling of the Emmys last year. Elizabeth here tonight from The Apprentice.

38:39 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah, I might come back tomorrow for Jason.

38:40 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah, he's cute.

38:42 Elizabeth Jarosz There you go.

38:43 Adam Good kid down there too. We'll see you now. We'll see you now after all the Emmys.

38:48 Drew They came back, you know what I mean? They're here on the show.

38:50 Adam Yeah, but they're just to rub it in our faces.

38:52 They're gonna be pretty well coked up.

38:55 Adam Have some hookers with them. Car's gonna be running out there.

38:58 Elizabeth Jarosz Now, Quaaludes is the word of the day, isn't it?

39:00 Adam Yeah, what about the Quaaludes, Drew? Where are the Quaaludes? They gone. I'll tell you, here's the problem with Quaaludes. People start describing it as a six pack and a pill. Whoa, you know what I'm saying?

39:13 Elizabeth Jarosz I just think it's a neat word to say, Quaalude.

39:16 Adam Quaalude, it sounds like you get effed up just saying Quaalude. It's like that movie Candyman. You say Quaalude five times, you get high.

39:24 Elizabeth Jarosz People should start naming their kids Quaaludes.

39:25 Drew Methaqualo. Oh, oh.

39:28 Adam I'm sure there are many members of the black community that have taken that camp. Speaking of the community, Drew. Very tragic day, Yasser Arafat has passed away. Yeah. I'm sure, first off, I'm picturing his funeral. They have to have it on a weekend because people don't have time to take to the streets in that part of the world during the weekdays. They're all pretty hard. Yeah, they're hard at work. So you wouldn't, and I'm sure it'll be something small, something tasteful.

39:58 Drew No guns.

40:02 Adam This is gonna be great. There's gonna be 500 people killed from the ammunition from the M16s they fire off over their heads are actually, I think Uzis is what they would probably be using over there, Kalashnikovs or something. But yeah, when the bullets then return to earth, they'll go through a lot of kids' heads, but it'll be a good time. Anyway, great to see him dead, everybody. Let's go. Let's keep our fingers crossed for Fidel. Hopefully he'll trip on something and land on a bullet. Perhaps, or perhaps a bullet will land in that old F's brain. That'd be nice too. By the way, it's good when bad things happen to bad people. We have to start celebrating that in this country. As good as it is, actually better. When good things happen to good people, you know, when the woman has been serving her community and has a disability and all of a sudden the home makeover people come in, as good as you feel about that, you should even feel better when bad people die. You really should if you think about it. You know, guys like Dahmer get raped in prison and then get violated with a broomstick and then killed in the bathroom. Better, better than the woman who's been serving her community. If you really, if you just look at it cosmically, better that bad things happen. And by the way, you don't believe me, do the math. Wouldn't it have been nice if Hitler got hit with a nice piece of debris or something and crushed when he was, you know, somewhere around 1938, 39? Would have been good, right?

41:23 Elizabeth Jarosz See, I was brought up Catholic, so the guilt immediately sets in and I'm starting to think, okay, if you feel good about bad things happening to people, then all of a sudden you're one of the bad people.

41:34 Adam Then what? As a matter of fact, good people are supposed to do bad things to bad people. We're supposed to kill them.

41:40 Drew Good people kill bad people. But you're also not supposed to have remorse when God takes his justice out.

41:47 Adam Exact, his revenge, yes, yes. Swift sword of justice, yeah. Yeah, nothing wrong with that. And by the way, just hypothetical. Take Stalin, take Hitler, take anybody.

41:57 Elizabeth Jarosz By the way, I was born the same day Hitler was.

41:58 Drew Who?

41:59 Adam Would you? Oh now, now it's trouble, all the smack in the tongue.

42:02 Elizabeth Jarosz Now, a whole new personality emerges.

42:04 Adam Is, would you rather, just go back to Stalin's early days or Hitler's early days, would you rather his neighbor, his very deserving neighbor get a complete home makeover or he get a bullet in the head, maybe in his early 30s?

42:20 Drew Nice.

42:21 Adam Think about it.

42:22 Drew Well said, Adam. It's important to the man thinking of those kinds of things.

42:25 Adam The answer should be missed.

42:26 Drew Gwen. Gwen.

42:28 Elizabeth Jarosz Hey, Gwen. Hi.

42:29 Adam What's happening?

42:30 Elizabeth Jarosz I was wondering if the fact that I'm very, very-

42:33 Adam Hold on, what's your sign, your zodiac sign, Elizabeth?

42:37 Elizabeth Jarosz I am smack in the middle of Aries and Taurus.

42:39 Elizabeth Jarosz Oh, really?

42:40 Elizabeth Jarosz Nobody can figure it out.

42:41 Adam You're a cusper.

42:41 Elizabeth Jarosz I'm a cusper.

42:42 Adam So Hitler was a cusper, too.

42:44 Elizabeth Jarosz Well, I think it also depends on what time you were born.

42:49 Adam I'm gonna look into that. Gwen? That's amazing. I don't know what Hitler's sign is. There's probably, I'll go home and watch the History Channel. There's probably 13 specials called Hitler Sign, Zodiac. Anyway, she's like, he's compatible with Geminis. I should have known that. All right, go ahead, Gwen.

43:08 Elizabeth Jarosz Hi, I was wondering, by the way, I love the show. I was wondering if my being very thin has anything to do with painful sex.

43:19 Adam No. Here's, I'm gonna-

43:21 Drew This thin or this small, are you small?

43:25 Elizabeth Jarosz I don't know, because my friends are all telling me that it's because I'm really, really skinny.

43:30 Adam I'm gonna do the math. I'm gonna guess you were victimized at some point.

43:36 Elizabeth Jarosz You were sexually abused? Not that I know of.

43:39 Adam Not physically either.

43:41 Drew Nobody ever hit you with anything growing up?

43:46 Elizabeth Jarosz My dad used to beat up on my mom, but not on me.

43:50 Drew That's traumatizing.

43:51 Caller That's not the same.

43:52 Adam Not the same, but a freak out. And he would, when you say beat up on your mom, what does that mean?

44:00 Drew So understandably, you would have a lot of mixed feelings and anxiety about being with a man, particularly in an intimate situation. So what Adam is building towards that you may be similar to the caller we had a while ago whose vagina was clamping down. You may be having a certain amount of muscular spasm and that's making it seem like you're sort of too small and it causes pain with it.

44:21 Adam You don't have an eating disorder, do you?

44:22 Elizabeth Jarosz Oh God, no.

44:24 Adam No, you're just small.

44:25 Elizabeth Jarosz Well, I'm really tall.

44:27 Adam Yeah, but you're slender. How thin are you?

44:30 Elizabeth Jarosz I'm 5'11 and I weigh 1.08.

44:33 Adam Oh, that's spindly.

44:36 Drew That's not the reason you're having pain, though.

44:38 Adam We gotta get some weight on you. Hey, I just had this idea, really. I was thinking, you know, sorry. Guys come home drunk and they beat on their wife. It's an age-old thing.

44:49 Drew Sure.

44:51 Adam I think we need to get these guys TiVo because I come home drunk and I start, I think, oh, I gotta beat on my wife. You know, I take one step up the stairs and then I go, oh, wait a minute, TiVo. I got Sports Center on there. I got the History, oh, oh, I got Modern Mar, what night is it?

45:07 Drew Oh, Predator.

45:08 Elizabeth Jarosz TiVo has changed my life.

45:10 Adam And you know what?

45:11 Elizabeth Jarosz I'm dating my TiVo, sure.

45:12 Adam I'm actually raping my, I mean, I know.

45:15 Elizabeth Jarosz And he surprises me with things that, you know, I don't even know I would like.

45:18 Drew If you put a hole in the side of his, it's amazing.

45:23 Adam No, yeah, I know. I really do think, like, when you're drunk, you really want to watch TiVo. It's like, you want to do everything that you like a little bit more when you're drunk. If you like eating, then you're drunk, you really want to eat, and all that. You like screwing, you're drunk, you really want to screw. For me, it's TiVo. I really want to watch TiVo. And I just don't have time to beat anymore.

45:42 Drew Speaks volumes.

45:43 Adam I'm serious, Drew. If we got some of these abusive guys TiVos and I said, look, you smack on your wife, we're taking the TiVo. They would just walk through the trailer door and they head right in, right into the TiVo.

45:55 Drew That's good.

45:56 Adam All right, thank you. Elizabeth, and I got to think of something that rhymes with TiVos for the program. You know, TiVos, not punchos. You know what I'm saying?

46:05 Drew Oh, I see the little aphorism.

46:06 Adam You need a retarded aphorism, otherwise you can't get any charitable stuff going. Right, right. You see what I'm saying?

46:11 Drew I'll think of it.

46:12 Adam Yeah, or you come up-

46:13 Drew Get Steve-O the TiVo.

46:14 Adam Yeah, close, yeah. Or you got to do the retarded acronym, too. Like, you know, you get the Glads and the Dare, Dare. I like Dare. Dare's the one. All right, work on it. Elizabeth here from The Apprentice. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

46:29 Caller All right, guys, bottom line, here's the deal.

46:33 Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

46:35 Caller One call's all you need to make.

46:36 Drew Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

46:43 Caller Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

46:45 Elizabeth Jarosz 1-800-LOVE-191.

47:08 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. Elizabeth, the delightful and foxy Elizabeth. You're not intimidating. You're really beautiful, smart.

47:19 Elizabeth Jarosz I like that, foxy.

47:21 Adam Gotta rest together. Absolutely. Dynamo, but overachiever. Pushes too hard.

47:29 Elizabeth Jarosz That's true.

47:29 Adam Give you a headache eventually. Gotta learn to relax every once in a while, baby.

47:33 Elizabeth Jarosz I know, I know. My cheeks are clenched as we speak.

47:37 Adam You need, yeah, you need some TiVo. TiVo for the men to give them to stop beating on their women when they're drunk, and TiVo for the overachieving women to just unwind a little bit. Yeah?

47:46 Elizabeth Jarosz That's right. Maybe that's why I love TiVo so much.

47:49 Adam Really?

47:49 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah, maybe. You don't know?

47:51 Adam It's efficient. That's probably why you like it.

47:54 Elizabeth Jarosz That's true, that's true.

47:55 Elizabeth Jarosz It's exactly why I like it, to be honest.

47:56 Adam Let me say this. I'll give you the same advice I give Drew. Drew is a-

48:01 Elizabeth Jarosz Because Drew's a woman, right?

48:02 Adam Well, Drew is, yeah, maybe even, I don't know if there's something beyond woman. Drew is-

48:08 Elizabeth Jarosz It's the best of both worlds, come on now.

48:11 Adam Drew is a, he's a very motivated guy. And he gets a lot done based on that. But then, there's a certain point where you just drive yourself nuts with the motivation and you're not really getting that much done. That or the more you do it, you're not really getting any more done. You're just scared not to be motivated all the time. There are ways to actually achieve results. To be more efficient. And to lower the speed on your treadmill a little bit. And I think, here's an interesting thing. Drew, and this happens to a lot of people, becomes so obsessed with the speed that their treadmill is set to, they miss the efficiency part. And then ultimately end up covering less ground because it's the cadence rather than the actual, they don't get the gestalt of the whole thing. Yes?

49:04 Drew I agree.

49:07 Adam Takes a big woman to agree with me. Elizabeth, do you have that too? You're saying I have a big ass. I'm just saying, don't wear horizontal. Oh please.

49:18 Elizabeth Jarosz I do.

49:18 Adam You have a beautiful rear end.

49:20 Elizabeth Jarosz You know, but I don't know where it came from.

49:22 Adam Your beautiful rear end?

49:23 Elizabeth Jarosz It's like a Latin butt, you know, but I'm not Latin.

49:25 Adam It's nice. It's very nice.

49:27 Elizabeth Jarosz It's definitely there.

49:28 Adam No, but it's not big and bubbly.

49:30 Elizabeth Jarosz It's bubbly.

49:30 Adam It's beautiful.

49:31 Elizabeth Jarosz I'll show you. I have a butt.

49:34 Adam Yeah, you have a butt, which is...

49:35 Elizabeth Jarosz That's not a white girl's butt, right?

49:37 Adam Please step back a little bit so I can get a little... Oh no, no, watch out. Drew may be a woman, but he's all men. Yeah, you watch out, because you know what just happened to Drew when he checked out?

49:52 Elizabeth Jarosz You guys are putting in my hands now. See, it just took me a little while.

49:55 Adam That was two tugs on the chainsaw and you're lucky didn't catch. When you turn around, let me tell you what happened to Drew. If it started, we'd all be gone. They're just gonna take us all out. Don't ever do that again, or at least wait till I'm out of the room. No, no, no, Drew, avert your gaze. Gaze. Yeah, yeah, wow.

50:18 Elizabeth Jarosz So am I right?

50:19 Adam You're, no, no, I will say...

50:21 Elizabeth Jarosz Admit it, admit it, Adam.

50:22 Adam You have a beautiful rear end. It's just right. Drew would love to say it, but his wife is listening. But it is, it's not flat, it's not bulbous, it's just right there.

50:32 Elizabeth Jarosz There you go.

50:32 Adam Perfect. Do you work hard? Do you work out?

50:35 Elizabeth Jarosz I do. I work out a lot.

50:37 Adam Yeah, shocking. No eating disorder. Just working out.

50:41 Elizabeth Jarosz That's right.

50:41 Adam All right. But listen, do you have a man? No. No, you're single? Yep. Reel it in. You're gonna drive a guy nuts. Reel it in a little bit. And here's the thing. Here's what the achievers do. And again, we're talking about this earlier, how guys don't like to get beat by women and it's unfair, but it's kind of true. Guys will have a harder time with a super motivated woman. They will be intimidated. You have to, even if you're motivated, you have to reel it in a little around them.

51:09 Elizabeth Jarosz Are you saying pretend? Are you telling women to pretend we're not who we are?

51:12 Adam I am saying, I am saying, here's what happens. All right, seriously. I'm gonna, no, I'm gonna give you, this is gonna give you great advice here. Motivated people look at it as it's a virtue through and through. It's a great thing. And it is to a certain degree, but there's a part of it that's an illness, just like people that do drugs or do whatever excessively.

51:38 Elizabeth Jarosz It's called addiction to success.

51:40 Adam There is a part to it. And then you get into this thing where like, hey, if he can't handle, if he's too shallow to handle a successful person, then I don't need a connection. You know you're 45 and you got nobody. It's, there's a balance to strike. And it sounds, it sounds bad to say like, oh, well look, I'm so successful. I'm so motivated. He's not interested because he's intimidated. No, it's not just that. Thank you.

52:04 Drew Because I suffer from the condition. It's partly an anxiety disorder. And the anxiety is coming out of your pores all the time. And it overwhelms people.

52:11 Elizabeth Jarosz Mine's coming out of my butt.

52:12 Drew Right. But people get like, whoa, I need to relax, I need to calm down, I just want to be with this person.

52:19 Adam And as a guy, you don't really, women don't respond to the same things and you can do okay with that. But as a woman, you can freak a guy out because they're overwhelmed. And then you go, well, he was intimidated because I'm successful.

52:33 Drew It's not intimidation.

52:34 Adam That's the point, that's what I'm saying.

52:36 Elizabeth Jarosz See, but I believe that if you're a strong man, that would intimidate you.

52:41 Adam We're not intimidated. Did you perceive it as intimidation so you can go on with the dance? As guys, we're just driven crazy by it. It's like, oh, this broad won't shut up. She's driving me nuts. And I'm feeling anxious every time I'm around her. She can't relax.

52:55 Drew That's a good thing, guys who feel anxious around.

52:56 Adam Right, you say, well, he's intimidated.

52:58 Elizabeth Jarosz Wait, the guy feels anxious or the woman feels anxious?

53:00 Adam The guy feels anxious because half the sort of, the ugly cousin of the motivated person is anxiety. They produce that and it freaks people out. It's hard to hang out because your motor's going all the time.

53:15 Elizabeth Jarosz So now do guys get anxious around motivated men?

53:18 Adam No, because they go home.

53:20 Drew They'll get away from it, they'll kick their ass, they'll physicalize it, they'll start beating them up.

53:23 Adam Yeah, yeah, or they are. Are you being serious? No, they, but here's.

53:27 Drew I mean, maybe not.

53:28 Elizabeth Jarosz And this is the reason for football, oh my God.

53:30 Drew We don't tend to harm, but they'll physicalize it.

53:32 Adam We don't have to go away for weekends with these guys and stay in bed and breakfasts. We just see them at the board room, at the office, and then we go home and talk smack about it.

53:41 Drew I know I drive my wife crazy with some of this stuff, but she gets angry and respond out of her, she gets overwhelmed and then angry. And I don't know, guys don't, how do they react? They get.

53:50 Adam What, with women though, that way? I think that they, I think it's what you said earlier. I think they feel like there's too much anxiety and they tend to reel in and they don't want to be around them as much.

54:03 Drew They don't even know why really probably.

54:04 Adam Right.

54:06 Elizabeth Jarosz All right.

54:06 Adam Well, there you go. Listen, you got, you know what you got to do? You got to eat a pot brownie every once in a while. Do you eat pot? You got to eat some pot or do a lude. You want to do a lude? Drew, do you got those ludes? Did I tell you to get those ludes? Where are the ludes?

54:19 Drew Many times you told me.

54:20 Adam Yeah, you got to mellow out. I'm telling you, start smoking pot. Now the people, here's the thing about pot. The people that smoke pot shouldn't be smoking pot. People that don't smoke pot need to smoke pot. It's weird. You know what I mean?

54:32 Caller There you go. I have some clonopin in my bag right now.

54:34 Adam Do you have something? Do we shoot it at her like a dart or do you just take it like a pill?

54:39 Drew You know what you've done. He's gonna reach in and take all your meds.

54:41 Adam What do you got in there? Really? Clonopin, what is that? Is that good?

54:44 Drew He hasn't ever asked you to score for him. Now he will.

54:46 Adam All right, I'm gonna need one of those. Listen, I'll pay street price for it. I mean, it's a 10 bucks, a pill, 20. Street price. What do we got to do?

54:56 Drew All right, let's keep rocking.

54:58 Adam We gotta break it down. Let's go, we're gonna play Ace's accordion Mexican countdown.

55:03 Drew Let's do that now.

55:04 Adam No, no, we gotta take some calls. We gotta help some kids, all right? And then we'll play the red chair up, countdown. Gerald?

55:12 Drew Yeah.

55:13 Adam You're 21?

55:14 Caller Yeah, I'm 21.

55:15 Adam What's up?

55:16 Caller The problem is I got this friend and we hang out a lot. And I don't know whether or not I should ask her out on a date.

55:24 Drew Why wouldn't you?

55:26 Caller Why wouldn't, cause if I ask her out and she rejects me, it's gonna get weird.

55:34 Elizabeth Jarosz Gerald, has she given you any signs that might be helpful?

55:37 Caller See, that's another thing. I really don't know what signs to look for.

55:41 Drew Okay, Adam, give them the talk. The hand drag and the hanging out.

55:46 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah, has she touched you when you talked to her?

55:48 Adam Yeah, they touch.

55:50 Caller But she's like one of those super friendly people that touches people when they talk. Mm-hmm.

55:54 Drew She wouldn't hang out with you and do that.

55:55 Elizabeth Jarosz But a woman typically puts a guard up if she's not interested. So if she touched you, that probably means she's interested.

56:07 Adam Well, women, most women, sane women, will not want you interested or even thinking that she's interested if she's not.

56:15 Caller Exactly.

56:16 Adam And then there's screwed up women who need to be desired by everybody and they just do that to everybody. And so they just sort of reel in as many customers as they can and then turn people down.

56:24 Elizabeth Jarosz So the question is, is she screwed up?

56:26 Adam Yeah, is she screwed up?

56:30 Caller I don't think so.

56:31 Adam Okay, does she?

56:32 Drew What's up with you, Gerald? You can't ask somebody out. I'm confused.

56:35 Adam 21.

56:36 Elizabeth Jarosz No, I kind of get it because how long have you guys been friends?

56:41 Caller Like three months.

56:43 Adam Three months. How did you meet her? How'd you two come together?

56:48 Caller Through work, I just introduced myself and we just started hanging out.

56:53 Adam You guys work at the same place?

56:56 Caller Yeah, at the same place.

56:57 Drew What kind of work?

56:57 Adam What kind of work, yeah.

56:59 Caller Customer service.

57:01 Adam And she's single.

57:04 Drew I knew Gerald was either customer service or auctioneer.

57:08 Adam You guys go out, you go on outings, you go to movies.

57:11 Caller We go bike riding and sometimes we watch movies at our house.

57:15 Adam At our house.

57:16 Caller At our house.

57:17 Adam Okay, and she doesn't, does she live at home?

57:21 Caller Yeah, she lives at home.

57:23 Adam With her parents. Yeah.

57:25 Caller But we have no night jobs, so they're usually gone.

57:28 Adam Right, what, okay, and what do you, okay, here's, okay, I'm sorry. Here's what you have to do. You need to do a nighttime date. You don't have to call it a date. You have to work booze into it. I hate to say it, or maybe Ludes. Ludes, it's like a six pack.

57:42 Drew Brownies, as you say.

57:43 Adam Yeah, Kalanipin, what do you have over there? Okay, same one of those. So you have to go out at night. That's what you need to do. You need to do a date. You need to pick her up. Don't meet her at the restaurant.

57:56 Drew I don't think you have anything to worry about.

57:58 Adam No, you don't.

57:59 Drew I find it bizarre that you haven't closed the deal sooner.

58:02 Adam Well, women will let you know subtly if they're interested, but if a guy's radar dish is smashed, he's not going to pick up on anything.

58:13 Drew I just probably shouldn't throw herself at him, Adam.

58:15 Adam The fact that you met at work, yeah.

58:17 Elizabeth Jarosz But Adam, you're kind of saying, take her out, get her drunk, and why not just go for it and say, let's go out? I mean, I want to take you on a real date.

58:24 Adam Well, here, I'll tell you why. I don't think he's got the way votes to do that. I don't think he has to way vote.

58:30 Elizabeth Jarosz All right, so Jared, let me ask you this. I mean, if you ask her out and she rejects you and you guys are no longer friends, can you live with that? Can you live with no longer being friends with this girl? Yeah. Well, then you got to go for it. You got to put it all out there.

58:46 Adam Also women know when you're asking them out, if you say to them, like, look, Saturday night you want to go to this place, a nice restaurant, and we'll go out to a movie or watch something. They kind of know the difference between that and going on the bike ride during the day.

59:01 Elizabeth Jarosz And in fact, they also know if you're asking them out, but not really asking them out. You know what I mean? Like, a woman will know if you're saying, let's go to, I don't know, a movie on Saturday night, and you don't come out and say, I want to take you on a date. Then she's put in a situation to say, hmm, does he think it is a date? Does he not think it's a date? Maybe he doesn't have enough.

59:21 Adam Here's what I'm saying. I don't think you have to verbally label it a date. You just make the date, go out. I'm only saying booze because a couple glasses of wine helps people sort of relax a little. It's more for Gerald than for her and then over dinner, start going that direction. That's all. That's fine. I don't think he's got the way of us to ask her out. It's going to be weird and she'll know what he's doing if he makes it first Saturday night. All right? And women touch you when they like you. They drag their hand on you. We haven't gotten into this for a while. Women that don't like you don't want to touch you, by the way. They're freaked out by you. They won't even really punch you or anything. And once in a while, there's a situation where like, oh, the...

1:00:09 Elizabeth Jarosz They won't even punch you. Did you pick up on that?

1:00:12 Adam They don't even screw around with it. They don't even do what Peppermint Patty did to Charlie Brown. And here's the other thing too. She liked him. There's some chick at work you like, and then you got your second quarter earnings in and they were through the roof and everyone's hugging each other. And it was that uncomfortable moment where you have to hug her. Yeah, it's like someone tipped an ironing board against you. It's what it feels like. You feel every vertebra on their spine and you'll get nothing back. But when they like you, oh my God, oh, you're so funny. And the little hand drags all the time. Am I right? You're right. And the drag, like they do, and they just a little.

1:00:52 Elizabeth Jarosz The drag is a dead giveaway. But a touch can also mean that she likes you.

1:00:56 Adam Touch can. But if you, okay, touch.

1:00:58 Elizabeth Jarosz I mean, if she's dragging, I'm forgetting that.

1:01:00 Adam You get subtle drag. Even in the handshake, you'll get the subtle drag.

1:01:04 Drew The lingering, anything lingering. Anything lingering.

1:01:07 Adam Yeah, any linger, except for a fart. Sometimes those won't go away.

1:01:11 Drew Well, that's your problem.

1:01:12 Adam I'm saying, I'm saying if there's any lingering physically, if there's a hand or whatever.

1:01:18 Drew Discussion lingering. Discussion lingering. Waiting during the crazy pause.

1:01:22 Adam Waiting for the lull. Waiting for the lull. Let's work through a lull. Let's work through a lull.

1:01:28 Drew Let's do that.

1:01:29 Adam All right. So I get to be the dude. Of course.

1:01:31 Drew All right. We're established.

1:01:32 Adam We're at the party.

1:01:33 Drew Yes.

1:01:33 Adam Right. It's Mark's party.

1:01:35 Drew Yes.

1:01:36 Adam How do you know, Mark?

1:01:37 Drew Oh, we work together. Oh, yeah.

1:01:42 Adam Hardwood floors in here. Great.

1:01:43 Drew I love hardwood.

1:01:45 Adam See, they hang for the pause. They go through the pause as opposed to, well, that's about it. The pregnant pause. Yeah, they're waiting. They're waiting.

1:01:52 Drew They're waiting.

1:01:52 Adam Here's the other way. You be the chick. You be the chick.

1:01:55 Drew All right. I'll be the chick.

1:01:56 Adam I bring stuff up. You bite. You bite on it. You're not qualified. Because. I'm not qualified.

1:02:05 Elizabeth Jarosz Do you know how many pauses I've done in my life?

1:02:09 Adam You be the chick. But see, you don't know what the game is. Well, she's the chick. I'm going to feed you the answer. OK, watch. OK, let's just see if you work instinctively this way. Everything the person brings up, you're into. Man, I've heard amazing things about that. The Incredibles? Yeah, the Incredibles.

1:02:32 Elizabeth Jarosz I know. My friends saw that movie and they said it was the best thing they've ever seen.

1:02:36 Adam I'm thinking about checking it out.

1:02:37 Elizabeth Jarosz I know.

1:02:38 Adam Have you seen it?

1:02:38 Elizabeth Jarosz No, I haven't seen it yet.

1:02:39 Adam Yeah, see, that's it.

1:02:41 Drew You're in. As opposed to giving the alternative.

1:02:43 Adam Give me the chick that doesn't want to go out. Oh, man, and Credibles heard amazing things about checking it out. What is that? It's a new Disney Pixar flick supposed to be amazing. I mean, do you like animation?

1:02:56 Elizabeth Jarosz You know, I'm not really into the Disney movies.

1:02:59 Adam Well, this isn't Cinderella. This is a computer-driven animation.

1:03:02 Elizabeth Jarosz Right, but cartoons are kind of like for the little kids and I'm a cyber-sci-bar.

1:03:05 Adam Ball buster. Penis goes right in the air. Search frown in a vagina, gotta get out of there before you get boobed. Yeah. No, that, no, see that, that's the thing, like, they, they won't give you that.

1:03:23 Drew But the guy, guys will not pick up on that.

1:03:24 Adam They won't give you anything.

1:03:26 Elizabeth Jarosz Well, that's a whole nother conversation.

1:03:27 Drew But that's how stupid men are, really.

1:03:29 Adam But you're really...

1:03:29 Drew No one trains motels men that that's how it works. They don't know. They think they're sort of trained that, well, it should not respond to push harder. Keep going.

1:03:36 Adam Keep going. But the outcome is the same, they don't go to the movie that weekend.

1:03:41 Drew Right.

1:03:41 Adam And yes, women will be creative about like, not only have I not seen this movie, but I just don't like animation.

1:03:51 Drew They just go negative, negative, negative.

1:03:52 Adam When they're into something, I swear to God, if they could go into anaphylactic shock if they came near seafood and you could say, I know a great seafood place right by the wharf, they'd be like, oh, okay, I'll buy my lobster bib off. I'll be there. I wish someone had told me this, by the way, I really wish they had.

1:04:07 Drew We had so many years of pain.

1:04:08 Elizabeth Jarosz Did I pass the test? Am I the champ?

1:04:10 Adam Yeah, you're good. From now on, you're the official Loveline chick. All right. Fantastic. We may need you in here tomorrow night.

1:04:17 Elizabeth Jarosz Jason, Jason.

1:04:19 Drew He wants to be Jason.

1:04:19 Adam All right, well, come in tomorrow night and see him.

1:04:21 Drew Do the hand-drag on him.

1:04:22 Adam Yeah, give him the hand-drag.

1:04:25 Elizabeth Jarosz We'll test it out and we'll see if he gets it.

1:04:28 Adam Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure he'll figure it out. Well, we'll get it.

1:04:34 Elizabeth Jarosz It's a good experiment.

1:04:35 Adam Do the gag re-

1:04:36 Elizabeth Jarosz I'm here for you.

1:04:36 Adam You do the gag re- Present with your ass. He'll get that part. Believe you me.

1:04:41 Drew You present.

1:04:42 Adam I got that. That was presenting.

1:04:44 Elizabeth Jarosz Your ass.

1:04:45 Adam That was nothing short of presenting.

1:04:47 Drew Lordosis and presentation.

1:04:48 Adam That's what that was.

1:04:49 Elizabeth Jarosz It's a juicy jeans.

1:04:50 Adam You give him the hand-drag, give him the ass thing, you'll be seeing the Incredibles this weekend.

1:04:56 Elizabeth Jarosz In Lake Flynn.

1:04:57 Adam Yep. All right. Where are we?

1:04:59 Drew Kevin.

1:05:00 Adam Kevin. Kevin 20.

1:05:01 Drew Let's do Ranchero music. Come on.

1:05:03 Adam All right.

1:05:03 Drew Kevin. Kevin, hang on a second, buddy.

1:05:05 Adam Kevin? Yes. You're 21? All right. Hold on. We have to play Ace's Mexican Ranchero Accordion Countdown game. It's huge. Some people are saying it's bigger than Germany or Florida.

1:05:18 Drew I don't know, but you may be right.

1:05:19 Adam Certain circles. Certain circles.

1:05:20 Drew I've heard that.

1:05:21 Adam Here's how the game is played.

1:05:22 Drew It's rumored.

1:05:23 Adam I've learned from many years of construction that Ranchero music was driven by the accordion. Much to my dismay. But I started listening to it because the guys I work with...

1:05:36 Drew Elizabeth's from Michigan.

1:05:37 Adam She's from Michigan.

1:05:38 Drew She doesn't know what you're talking about.

1:05:40 Adam Have you seen a Mexican?

1:05:42 Elizabeth Jarosz I've been in LA for four years.

1:05:44 Adam Okay. Watch what you say because engineer Michelle's got a little... She'll cut you too. She'll get loaded up on one of those Kalana pins and stab you with a number two pencil. One of those homegirls. So the point is the music, it grates on my soul. And...

1:06:03 Drew Ranchero.

1:06:03 Adam Mostly the Ranchero version, although I'm not sure if there's many variations of it.

1:06:09 Drew There's the mariachi.

1:06:10 Adam Yeah, I don't mind the mariachi. I'm cool with that. And anyway, it's heavily accordion driven. And I started realizing that not a second goes by without hearing accordion in Ranchero music. And so what happens is... Here's how the game is played. Engineer Michelle, she fires... She gets it to a random spot in a random Ranchero song. And before she cues it up, we decide how many seconds until we hear the accordion.

1:06:35 Elizabeth Jarosz But for those of you who don't know, Adam actually played the accordion when he was a child. And so that's why he doesn't like it. He was traumatized.

1:06:41 Drew Well, no, he was in... He worked in construction for many years and he had that pounded into his head.

1:06:45 Elizabeth Jarosz Yes.

1:06:45 Adam Yes.

1:06:46 Elizabeth Jarosz And there was a Mexican that played accordion right next to him.

1:06:48 Drew No, he played the ranchero music, though.

1:06:50 Adam Here's the deal. Here's the deal. Here's how the radio works in construction. Whatever there's more of, that's the music. If you work with country guys, you got to hear country. If you work with Mexicans, you got to hear ranchero. And I was always outnumbered. So, Drew. Oh. And then I worked with born-again Christians and we had to listen to Christian rock.

1:07:08 Caller Oh, really? Yeah.

1:07:09 Adam It was so bad. You know...

1:07:11 Caller You wished for ranchero music.

1:07:12 Adam Yeah. I was praying for ranchero music, so you know it's bad. You know what happened, too, is I started to go nuts after listening to enough Striper or whatever the hell they listen to over there on the Christian rock. I was working with four of these guys installing Closet. I said to them, finally, I said, can we just put on some alternate, put on Kaila West or something? Let me just hear some rock. Please. It's not going to kill you. The songs aren't... It's not all Ozzy Osbourne. There's some... So, we flipped it on. And it was Main Street by Bob Seeger. Down on Main Street. Nice song. Slow. Nice. So, I said to him, this... What's wrong with this? Now, I got a nice guy strumming acoustic guitar. It's a nice slow rhythmic song. He's singing about Main Street. And they're like, he's singing about visiting a prostitute. And I was like, she looks so lovely. Yeah, he is singing about a whore. All right. So, the one song...

1:08:09 Elizabeth Jarosz Isn't it amazing how you listen to these songs? Can you actually sing along? You have no idea what they're talking about.

1:08:13 Adam Listen to Main Street, singing about a prostitute. He used to go down to Main Street, and she was walking Main Street, and she looks so lovely with her long hair, and she's banging a prostitute. That's right. That's right. The Detroit Rockers are banging a prostitute. So I had to say, Touche, when you guys are right, you're right. We switch it back to striper. So now, the Ranchero countdown. Drew, you go first.

1:08:35 Drew Two seconds.

1:08:36 Adam Two seconds. Wow. Drew often times goes immediate. Elizabeth, what do you think?

1:08:43 Elizabeth Jarosz Three and a half.

1:08:45 Adam Three and a half. Yeah. David Alan Greer went into the, got into the tents too. All right. Three and a half. I'm going big and I'm not going to be puss and go four. I'm going seven seconds. All right. Now, wait a minute. We got to wait till we get to a nice round number. Otherwise, we're not going to be able to do the math. You ready there? Michelle? Two, one, go. Oh, yeah, that was not eight seconds. It was eight seconds, eight seconds.

1:09:20 Drew That was eternity.

1:09:21 Adam It felt like a lifetime. At least 30. Lifetime.

1:09:24 Drew We gotta play again, we gotta play again.

1:09:25 Adam But turn that up a little. This is an awesome one, by the way.

1:09:32 Elizabeth Jarosz Now let me, again, I'm gonna do my, holy crap, is he rapping? To turn it off.

1:09:40 Adam Keep it up, this is great stuff.

1:09:41 Elizabeth Jarosz All right, I'm gonna do a reenactment of me talking to my main man, Ozzy, about 8.30 in the morning.

1:09:50 Adam It's Monday morning. My buddy Ozzy is at my house. He's doing a little masonry work. I'm in my bathrobe. I've just awoken. I went to bed at 2.30 drunk. I heard this music playing. I've now come downstairs. And it's time to talk about the work we discussed.

1:10:10 Caller Alright, here we go.

1:10:12 Adam Ozzy, if you're going to do stucco work, you've got to put a scratch coat on, then a color coat. You can't put a brown coat on more than three quarters of an inch without putting a scratch coat on.

1:10:25 Shut it off! Shut it off!

1:10:30 Adam That's how it works. All right. Well, that was a good one. Yeah. And I gotta say, that was eight seconds.

1:10:39 Drew I took seven. That was a finesse style. That was really an unusually good strike on your part.

1:10:46 Adam It really was.

1:10:46 Drew Yeah, seven seconds.

1:10:47 Adam I've been pretty good though. I gotta say. All right. Well, that's how you play Ace's Ranchero recording and countdown.

1:10:54 Caller You can see why it's so big.

1:10:56 Drew I'm speechless.

1:10:56 Adam We gotta get a home version of this thing going.

1:10:58 Drew We gotta take a break.

1:10:59 Adam We gotta take a break? All right, we're gonna take a break. Yeah?

1:11:02 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah.

1:11:02 Adam You cool? I'm cool.

1:11:03 Elizabeth Jarosz All right.

1:11:04 Adam Elizabeth here from The Apprentice. Nine o'clock on Thursday nights. And we'll see. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:11:12 Elizabeth Jarosz Thank you for calling Loveline.

1:11:13 Elizabeth Jarosz Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

1:11:17 Caller 800-LOVE-191.

1:11:36 Adam Hey, buddy, Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Jason Bateman tomorrow night, Will Arnett, both from Arrested Development, the Emmy Award-winning Arrested Development. Elizabeth here tonight from The Apprentice on Thursday nights, NBC, nine o'clock. Drew and I just came back from the Fabulous Kitchen, which we share with the Aero Classic Rock Station. And I don't know what it is about radio people. They're horrible. They're really, radio is for, like, here's what radio is. It's for guys that don't want to grow up. There's everything but fecal matter smeared on the wall in that place. The microwave, which was in a pristine condition earlier in the day, has the toppings of three or four pizzas spread out all over the loose site merry-go-round that's in there.

1:12:30 Elizabeth Jarosz There was pizza?

1:12:31 Adam There was.

1:12:32 Drew The remains.

1:12:33 Adam The remains. Well, it's as if. I don't know how you get that many pizza toppings on the floor of a microwave without flipping it over or scraping it off.

1:12:44 Elizabeth Jarosz It's because everything blows up in the microwave. Trust me, I know the microwave inside and out.

1:12:51 Adam This seems almost intentional or malicious. The point is, now I put my goddamn coffee in there to get a warm up, and it comes out, it smells like a pezone. And I think to myself, look, okay, that's a little trouble in the microwave. You open the door, you don't want to, you want to just grab a wet nap and wipe it out, you retards? And if you go through the refrigerator of the kitchen over here at the radio station, first of all, I thought we hit an all time low when I found a Chef Boyardee ravioli can that had three raviolis left on it, and a napkin, wasn't yours, but that was not yours. A napkin was balled up and shoved in the top of it to keep it fresh.

1:13:31 Drew To save it, to save the Chef Boyardee.

1:13:32 Adam As a physician, there's no way air can penetrate a balled up napkin.

1:13:37 Drew And you wouldn't want to waste those last three ravioli.

1:13:39 Adam You would think, now, if you didn't know where you were, and you just opened the door, you'd say, well, either you're at a preschool or one of those halfway houses for challenged adults. You would have no idea that professionals worked there. Yeah, I mean.

1:13:53 Drew Well, tonight we found a frozen Coke.

1:13:56 Adam Tonight, I opened the freezer and there was a Coke, and I don't mean a Coke in a bottle or a can. I'm talking about a McDonald's Coke, like just comes in a McDonald's cup.

1:14:06 Elizabeth Jarosz With a straw or without the straw?

1:14:08 Drew Straws in it.

1:14:08 Elizabeth Jarosz Straws in there.

1:14:09 Adam Straw in it, but again, with an eye on freshness, there was a yellow Post-It.

1:14:15 Drew Post-It sticky.

1:14:16 Adam Yellow Post-It sticky.

1:14:16 Elizabeth Jarosz Over the opening of the straw.

1:14:17 Adam Crinked over the top of the straw. And it.

1:14:20 Elizabeth Jarosz You are kidding me.

1:14:21 Adam No, and a piece of tape around that.

1:14:25 Elizabeth Jarosz Adam, I think you plant these things.

1:14:28 Adam No, no, you don't understand radio people. You don't understand. Listen, I am considered a, I'm Tony Randall around here. You understand? I am a debonair. These low lives. And by the way.

1:14:42 Elizabeth Jarosz That's why you didn't clean the microwave before you put your coffee in it.

1:14:45 Adam I can't, it's really, cleaning up someone's microwave is like coming in after them and cleaning their toilet. And by, it would have been better off they just took a crap at it. How dare everyone at this radio station. And then, and by the way, let me tell you how much Coke there was at the bottom of this thing. About an inch and a quarter.

1:15:00 Drew And it was frozen.

1:15:02 Adam Literally, nine cents worth of Coke at the bottom. Who, the freezer, the freezer. What's going on? And listen, listen, a radio a-holes. If you're gonna capsize your pizza in the microwave, feel free to at least take a swipe with your hand and knock out the big chunks. So everyone have to wade through your crap. It's right, it's aggressive, Drew. It's nothing, it's an attack. I was attacked. No, it's rape. I was raped, no. It's rape and son. No, I was killed.

1:15:28 Drew I was killed right in front of me.

1:15:30 Elizabeth Jarosz I blame the overnight people.

1:15:32 Adam I don't.

1:15:32 Drew Come on.

1:15:33 Adam Oh my God. But you understand, average age, 44. They're really, you're capsizing pizzas. No, you're too delicate a flower to ever do anything like that. That's not even in your vocabulary, yes. Even your wildest dreams to sabotage my coffee, you can come up with that. All right, you ready to go here?

1:15:54 Drew Yeah, let's go here, bro.

1:15:55 Adam Do you really, saving, do you think it's the same retard that saved the nickels worth of Coke that saved the raviolis, the three raviolis?

1:16:04 Drew It's the same person. That'd be more appealing to me than thinking there's more of those guys out there.

1:16:09 Elizabeth Jarosz I think it's the same guy.

1:16:10 Adam Same guy? I hope it's the same guy. Same animal?

1:16:12 Elizabeth Jarosz No question about it.

1:16:13 Adam I'm gonna call it a man. And let me say this too about the Chef Boyardee ravioli. You open a can, you should dump them all onto the ground. You should not eat one of those things. If you are over nine years of age and you enjoy a Chef Boyardee ravioli or a Spaghetti-O, you either have a disorder. Yes, there could be, sometimes there's like a cassava melon-sized tumor putting pressure on the side of your brain that makes you an idiot, or you have a disability of some kind. There's no way you can be an adult and enjoy that garbage. Yes? And hopefully you'll hate it as a kid as well. That's a good sign.

1:16:50 Elizabeth Jarosz I don't know, those are the secrets to my butt.

1:16:52 Adam Really? Let's see the butt one more time. Drew, don't look. Don't look. I'm gonna look at Elizabeth's butt. Wow, type two. What do you do? Do you run on that treadmill? You do the stair stepper?

1:17:03 Elizabeth Jarosz I mix it up.

1:17:04 Adam You mix it up?

1:17:05 Elizabeth Jarosz Yeah, because I don't have patience. I need to try new things all the time.

1:17:08 Adam Is that Stewie? Yeah. Did I hear Stewie in the background there, Anderson?

1:17:12 Elizabeth Jarosz No, that was Napoleon.

1:17:16 Adam Kevin? You're 21? All right, you sound like you're 45.

1:17:22 Caller No, I'm 21.

1:17:24 Adam All right, what's up?

1:17:27 Caller My girlfriend thinks that I'm an alcoholic. I drink a couple 40s every other night and she's threatening to leave because she thinks I drink too much. She has a son who, his father died in a car accident drinking and driving on his 21st birthday. I don't know if you know Malik Sealy from Timberwolves?

1:17:47 Adam Sure.

1:17:48 Caller Yeah, you remember he died a few years ago? He was a drunk driver.

1:17:52 Adam It was in all the papers out of here.

1:17:54 Drew What's your point there, Kevin?

1:17:55 Caller Well, yeah, it was the same place where he died that, or where Malik Sealy died that he died and she thinks because I drink and I don't drive obviously, but she thinks that because I drink that I'm gonna end up dying like her son's father did.

1:18:14 Adam Who's not Malik? Who's Malik?

1:18:16 Caller Malik Sealy, he played for the Timberwolves about four years ago and he died in a car accident six years ago, actually.

1:18:22 Adam Ah, okay. All right, yeah, hold it.

1:18:25 Drew The local reference.

1:18:26 Adam Yeah, I mean, we're pretty big hockey fans out here, but I couldn't name one guy. Oh, Timberwolves, sorry.

1:18:33 Caller Timberwolves, but no hockey this year.

1:18:35 Adam No hockey, yeah, big strike season. It's a bad sign, by the way, when you're locked out or you're on strike and no one even knows it.

1:18:44 Drew Well, Kevin, the fact that she's attracted to you does increase the probability that you're an alcoholic because she seems to be one of these people that needs to be with an alcoholic all the time. That tends to be the way it goes. Her dad's an alcoholic, then she'll be attracted to alcoholics. And you're resistant to doing anything about this. And the fact that it is having an effect on your relationship essentially defines the disease of alcoholism.

1:19:06 Adam And by the way, you're 21 and you sound grizzled.

1:19:09 Drew Yeah.

1:19:10 Adam That's alcohol.

1:19:11 Caller Here's what the bad part is, okay, she's a stripper. Yeah. Okay, that makes it even all the better. And then on top of it, my father was an alcoholic.

1:19:26 Drew Right, you inherit that gene.

1:19:27 Caller Yeah, he quit when he was in the Army during World War II. My father's now 72. I'm the youngest of four.

1:19:37 Adam Wow, hold on, you're 21 and you had a dad that saw action in World War II?

1:19:42 Caller Yep, he's 70, my father's 72, so.

1:19:46 Drew Yeah, he was 50 when he had him.

1:19:47 Caller Yeah.

1:19:48 Drew 52. Well, he might have to find narcissists. Yeah, he might make guys having kids.

1:19:55 Adam You make a very compelling point, Kevin.

1:19:57 Drew What's your point? So I just want to see the points.

1:19:59 Adam My dad was an abuser.

1:20:00 Caller My point is that my uncles were, and I don't want to be an alcoholic.

1:20:04 Drew Well, you don't get to choose that, you inherit it. Yeah, you define the disease. It's a genetic disorder where the hallmark is progressive use in the face of adverse consequences.

1:20:13 Adam Drew didn't want to be a chick.

1:20:14 Drew What are you gonna do?

1:20:17 Caller I've gone to AA meetings and I've done this and that. The next thing, and I still continue to drink.

1:20:22 Drew Well, you have to stop.

1:20:24 Caller I'm not sure that I am or not.

1:20:26 Drew Trust me, you are. I guarantee you, you are.

1:20:29 Adam Let's go, yeah. You're drunk now. Yeah, well, I know. Well, by the way, let me tell you something. You never get guys, 21-year-old guys, to admit they're drunk. I mean, the guys talking to you through a lampshade, just wearing a tutu. He just got done punching out to his best friend.

1:20:47 Drew Did you tell me you guys would have fights on your stairs out in front of your apartment over who's drunk?

1:20:52 Adam Here's the thing about, okay, let me explain something. Here's the number one thing that gets people into trouble when they're drunk. They don't realize they're drunk. There's a thing. When I'm drunk, I know I'm drunk, and I do everything accordingly.

1:21:06 Drew You pass out.

1:21:06 Elizabeth Jarosz You like to watch Tivo.

1:21:08 Drew You vomit. Vomits into ice bins and ice-picking machines.

1:21:11 Adam I did do that in Tijuana, but no, I gotta be honest. I've driven a vehicle drunk, could've lapped the world three times. Here's the beauty. I know, I'm sending a very positive message. Kids, but look, I gotta be honest. Let's face it. Look, it's.08 out here. What are you gonna do?

1:21:29 Drew A couple of beers and barbecue.

1:21:31 Adam Here's my point. I'm, uh-oh, I'm drunk, and legally, and if I get pulled over, it's gonna be big problems. So here's what you do. Slow down, put the hands at ten and two, do all the signals, don't be an idiot. The guys who get busted, they get drunk, and they're doing Brody's in the parking lot of the Safeway. They don't know they're loaded, and they don't admit they have a problem, and they don't know they're effed up, and then eventually bad things just start happening, and they still don't admit it. And eventually, life gets sort of taken away from them. Yes? All right, so that's Kevin. Kevin? What else are you gonna tell us? Your girlfriend thinks you're an alcoholic? Everyone in your family is an alcoholic? You're drinking quite a bit?

1:22:12 Caller Drank since, since uh, Yeah, okay, you're-

1:22:17 Drew Right. Yeah, that's rare.

1:22:18 Adam All right, your father was able to kick his alcoholism. It doesn't mean he wasn't an alcoholic.

1:22:24 Caller I'm not able to kick it.

1:22:26 Drew We understand that.

1:22:27 Adam Thank you.

1:22:28 Drew You need to go to-

1:22:28 Adam Oh, wait a minute, now my opinion's changed. Completely.

1:22:30 Drew Completely changed our attitudes.

1:22:31 Adam Well, new plan, Drew, what is it?

1:22:33 Drew Go to AA, obtain a sponsor, and work the steps.

1:22:36 Caller I go to AA, I just-

1:22:38 Drew Get a sponsor.

1:22:39 Caller Every other night, I still, after a meeting, I come home and I drink again.

1:22:43 Drew Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, get a sponsor and follow his direction, okay? Get a sponsor. Raise your hand at the next meeting and go, I need a sponsor. Let's see if that helps out, all right?

1:22:56 Caller Okay, also, you know, she's got this kid, his father died, you know, in a car accident, drinking and driving, you know? That's why she doesn't like me drinking and driving.

1:23:09 Drew Well, there's lots of reasons why.

1:23:10 Caller He doesn't like me drinking, period.

1:23:11 Drew Right.

1:23:11 Adam Whereas, when it's like our wives never lost anyone.

1:23:14 Drew So they're encouraging us to drink and drive.

1:23:17 Adam My wife won't let me leave the house without a pony cake. I have to carry it and I have to tell her, honey, honey, I'm loaded. I'm already drunk. Oh yeah, your buzz could wear off in traffic. Yeah, yeah, I know. That's everything you do, by the way, when you're drunk, you just keep repeating the same thing. You do it a little bit louder and then you keep claiming you're not drunk. It's sad and obvious. Kevin, just go get a sponsor. I don't want to hear any more of your stupid excuses.

1:23:41 Caller Univision, the Spanish channel, Tivo that because of...

1:23:47 Drew Get the mucho Hidalgo.

1:23:49 Adam All right, just please go get a sponsor, please.

1:23:52 Elizabeth Jarosz We should have closed that up with the Ranchero music. I think that would have been perfect.

1:23:56 Adam You can't, well actually you can only tolerate the music when you're loaded. It's because-

1:24:02 Elizabeth Jarosz So perfect.

1:24:02 Adam Yeah, except for us. We're not drunk, so we'd have to kill ourselves.

1:24:07 Elizabeth Jarosz Speak for yourself, Adam.

1:24:08 Drew Trey. 23.

1:24:09 Adam Are you really? Are you drunk with power?

1:24:12 Drew Trey.

1:24:14 Adam 23?

1:24:15 Drew Yeah, what's up, Trey?

1:24:15 Adam Your girlfriend wants to have a threesome?

1:24:18 Caller Yeah, well, there's a situation. We've been together two and a half years. We've lived together for six months now. We've gotten to the point where I want to marry her, and then all of a sudden, recently, she's been talking about wanting to have a threesome with-

1:24:32 Drew All right, hold on a second. Hold on a second.

1:24:34 Adam All right, with a female roommate? No.

1:24:39 Drew A male?

1:24:42 Elizabeth Jarosz Well, there's gotta be three there.

1:24:43 Adam You want a threesome with who?

1:24:45 Caller No, she wants to have a threesome with this other girl she works with.

1:24:48 Drew No, she wants to have a threesome with another person. How dare you, Adam? No.

1:24:52 Adam Wow, I tell you, I'm so far off tonight. I didn't know she wanted a threesome. I figured she wanted a threesome with another girl. I didn't know she wanted a threesome with another girl. Our callers are so, you can't dictate. I think I should start everything with, and so I know your idea, your highness, was to say this. I'm going to say it for you with your permission.

1:25:12 Drew With your permission.

1:25:13 Adam He can't say anything. I was like, no. And by the way, isn't it a horrible etiquette that everyone in this country now, whenever you speak to them, they're like, no, no, no, no. And then they repeat the exact same thing. Really? You're supposed to just say no, no, no.

1:25:25 Drew It used to just happen to me, remember?

1:25:27 Adam What's that?

1:25:27 Drew It used to just happen to me.

1:25:29 Adam Yeah, I know.

1:25:30 Drew Now it's everybody.

1:25:30 Adam Now everyone's a no man. What happened to yes men? All right, let's take a little break. We'll get back with Trey, who girlfriend 173 is doing. We have very strong feelings about this. And the beautiful Elizabeth after this.

1:25:50 Caller Drew, how much money do guys spend trying to get chicks? Into the billions? Yes. Cars? Hair plugs.

1:25:59 Adam All they need is a Max deodorant body spray. Hey everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam, this is Dr. Drew. Elizabeth here tonight from The Apprentice. And tomorrow night, the dreamy Jason Bateman.

1:26:16 Elizabeth Jarosz I just found out he was married.

1:26:19 Adam Oh, probably now into a more. Into a more. He can still come out tomorrow and present for him. Also, Will Arnett in here from Arrested Development. We've got the Emmys, got the wife, he's got it all. The Bateman's got it all. And you know what? Down to Earth, good guy. Good guy. Will Arnett, good guy. Decent guys. Yes?

1:26:41 Caller Yes, fans of theirs.

1:26:42 Adam Fans of theirs, yes? All right, ready to go on the phone? Yep, yep. Now here's, let me tell you something, Elizabeth. I know you now, because you're on TV, you think, well, I gotta get a celebrity guy. No, you don't want that. You want just a good salt of the earth type.

1:26:55 Elizabeth Jarosz Tell me what I want, Adam.

1:26:56 Adam I'll tell you what you need.

1:26:58 Drew Okay?

1:26:59 Elizabeth Jarosz Already.

1:26:59 Adam Only Elizabeth can tell Elizabeth what Elizabeth wants. But Adam, Adam can tell Elizabeth what Elizabeth needs.

1:27:06 Drew Okay?

1:27:07 Adam And it's not a guys on TV. You need, you know what you need? Here's what guys do. Aha, ha. Guys are smart in relationships, which is we don't get more of us, we get a counter to us.

1:27:20 Drew Oh yeah.

1:27:21 Adam You know what I mean? We're not good at certain things. We get someone who's good at those things.

1:27:25 Elizabeth Jarosz Filling in the gaps.

1:27:26 Adam Women, you want another one of you. You're a mover and a shaker. You want to get with a mover shaker. You need someone to come cool your jets a little bit. You need a little bit of home body.

1:27:35 Elizabeth Jarosz You gotta respect the guy. You can't get somebody who just doesn't do anything.

1:27:39 Adam Hmm, hear that? That's aggressive.

1:27:41 Drew She's inherited his money. Yeah.

1:27:43 Caller You need a guy.

1:27:47 Adam Yeah, yeah, you need one of those trust fund babies.

1:27:51 Caller Yeah.

1:27:53 Adam Feed you a little pot, loosen you up a little bit.

1:27:55 Elizabeth Jarosz The brownies.

1:27:56 Adam Brownies.

1:27:56 Elizabeth Jarosz I had to make good brownies.

1:27:57 Adam Trey?

1:27:59 Drew Yep. So here we go.

1:28:00 Adam 23.

1:28:01 Drew So what do you wanna do about this?

1:28:03 Caller So I guess my question, now I'm just kinda like what the F, you know?

1:28:06 Adam All right, well, Drew, please recap. We're here for the love of Christ.

1:28:10 Drew He has a fiance, right?

1:28:14 Caller No, he hasn't married yet.

1:28:15 Drew All right, the long-term relationship that suddenly-

1:28:16 Adam Two and a half years.

1:28:17 Drew Suddenly came forward with the idea-

1:28:18 Adam Lived together for six months.

1:28:19 Drew Of wanting to have a threesome with your female coworker or something. Lucky.

1:28:25 Elizabeth Jarosz So, Drew, what, I mean, you know, what's bothering you about the situation?

1:28:29 Drew Trey?

1:28:30 Caller Yeah, basically, I mean, the way I see it, I mean, if it's someone I'm thinking about marrying, you know, I don't wanna, I don't wanna marry someone who has, like, those kind of feelings and would wanna do something like that. So now I'm just kinda like, don't really want to do it.

1:28:43 Drew If you do it, the relationship will not survive. I guarantee that.

1:28:46 Caller I realize that.

1:28:49 Drew Her request to do it may be one of two things. She may have a lot of turmoil and chaos in her life, and may have difficulty sustaining an intimate relationship, and this may be her way of sort of throwing a wrench at it and sabotaging it.

1:29:03 Caller Well, what else?

1:29:04 Elizabeth Jarosz What's the other one?

1:29:04 Drew Well, I put the two together. One is the chaos and the other is the sabotage. He missed the third.

1:29:09 Elizabeth Jarosz What if she just likes women?

1:29:10 Drew What's the third? Yeah.

1:29:11 Elizabeth Jarosz Maybe she's curious.

1:29:12 Drew She could be cool.

1:29:13 Caller Because the thing is, we have such a normal life.

1:29:16 Adam Hold on a second, I gotta talk to Drew. It's getting a little cathartic here with the look of it.

1:29:20 Drew She came forward a little bit briskly and assertively.

1:29:23 Caller She certainly did.

1:29:25 Adam There's definitely something going on. That's why she-

1:29:28 Drew I didn't think about that one.

1:29:28 Adam That's why she likes Jason Bateman. She wants to get to Justine. That's her way in. That's her entree.

1:29:36 Drew Think she hears you?

1:29:37 Adam No. Lesbians have horrible hearing. I can't hear.

1:29:43 Caller I have Gator and now-

1:29:45 Elizabeth Jarosz Another woman to the rescue.

1:29:47 Adam Michelle, you know who's lesbian. Not lesbian. But curious to try.

1:29:56 Drew That is certainly a possibility. But again, that's more chaos than anything because she's in a committed relationship.

1:30:01 Adam Trey, yeah, here's the problem. Trey is, you're normal, you're healthy, you're a simple man with a simple taste, and your instincts are right. Your spidey sense is tingling. It sounds exciting, it sounds fun, and it, is it Drew? All right, it could be fun. But here's the thing, if you want to marry her, you realize this someone is chaotic. I think what you need to do, if you're really serious about her, is talk to her about what her motivation is. And if she doesn't give you a good answer, there's no engagement ring here.

1:30:33 Drew Right, right, agreed.

1:30:37 Adam Once in a while, you get a normal answer. It's like, I don't know, I was reading about it and I saw a movie about it, I was reading about it in Cosmo and I just wanted to try to check it off my list. And they don't pursue it that much and all right. But it usually means something.

1:30:50 Drew Yeah, you got me, yes it does.

1:30:51 Adam All right, let's take a little break.

1:30:53 Elizabeth Jarosz Adam, wow.

1:30:54 Drew Discouraging somebody for a threesome?

1:30:56 Elizabeth Jarosz No, no, I'm surprised.

1:30:59 Adam I know everything, I know everything, I know everything.

1:31:02 Drew We've seen so many problems from that.

1:31:04 Adam Yeah, no, I'm a genius. Hey, you college people, Drew, would you tell her I'm a genius? College people just go college and everything becomes about paper and degrees and all that stuff. No, no, genius, yes?

1:31:15 Drew Adam is like a genius. You're the school of life. Instinct, instinct like a wild animal. That's right. That's the cheetah.

1:31:21 Adam That's right. We'll take a break, be right back after this.

1:31:25 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:31:27 Elizabeth Jarosz Looking to hook up?

1:31:28 Drew Call the Dateline.

1:31:29 Elizabeth Jarosz Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:31:30 Drew Call the Dateline.

1:31:31 Elizabeth Jarosz One call is all you need to make.

1:31:33 Drew Call the Dateline.

1:31:34 Caller One eight seven seven eight eight nine.

1:31:39 Elizabeth Jarosz Date.

1:31:42 Caller Call Loveline. One eight hundred, love one nine one.

1:31:54 Adam Well, that's the show. Where did the time go? Where, Drew? All right.

1:32:00 Drew Lost it somewhere around the presentation.

1:32:02 Adam Foo-bop. Great radio with the head nodding, head shaking.

1:32:05 Elizabeth Jarosz I don't wanna leave.

1:32:07 Adam Yeah, well, I know, cause Jason Bateman's gonna be here in 22 hours. He's so dreamy.

1:32:12 Elizabeth Jarosz No, he's married. Now I'm, you know, that's it.

1:32:15 Drew Now I wanna more.

1:32:16 Caller You wanna more. No, no, no, no, no.

1:32:18 Adam Wear those tight jeans, present like you do. He'll be, he'll be cool. All right, Elizabeth, God bless. Thank you. I'm sure we'll be hearing huge things from you.

1:32:27 Elizabeth Jarosz Thank you for having me.

1:32:28 Adam But really, don't have that hamster. We'll spin too fast. He scared the guys. All right. You know, Jason's kind of a laid back dude. You'll freak him out.

1:32:37 Drew Pot brownies, right?

1:32:38 Adam That's right. Eat them pot brownies. Get some of that Kalanipin from Michelle. See that?

1:32:41 Elizabeth Jarosz I got my own love line.

1:32:43 Adam Will Arnett in here tomorrow night, too, from Arrested Development. And until next time, this Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew is saying, mahalo. These are the words of a woman who has a large ass.

1:33:01 Caller The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:33:10 Caller The producer for Love Line is Aningold. Love Line is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Wednesday, November 10, 2004