Episode 1000655739268

2:30 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. Loveline. This is Loveline.

2:50 With Adam Corolla and Dr..

3:01 Voiceover It's Loveline, a man of... That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Danny Pino is here tonight from CBS's Cold Case, Sunday nights, 8 o'clock on Before Mention CBS. Number one hit drama, new drama last year, Drew. I don't know what it is this year. It can't be the new one because it's been on. But I'm guessing it's way up there.

3:26 Drew It's been number one, second year running drama. What's happening?

3:29 It's a sophomore, I guess.

3:31 Adam Sophomore.

3:31 What you call it, sophomore year.

3:33 Adam I feel I was watching a promo for NYPD Blue as it's sort of coasting to a stop night.

3:40 Drew With the Smith coming back as a ghost?

3:42 Adam Yeah, but you feel sorry for shows that were these, it's this weird thing. There's like these, you know, you watch football, there's the quarterback, you hate on the other team, and then you see him getting into his declining years, you start feeling bad.

3:54 Drew For me, the paradigm was Ali.

3:56 Adam Yeah, when Ali started getting beat up.

3:58 Drew That was, that for me, it will always be the standard.

4:00 Adam Right.

4:01 Drew Don't want to be like that.

4:03 Adam Yeah. Since Leon Spinks starts slapping him around, it's like, oh.

4:06 Drew Really?

4:07 Adam And it's funny, four years later, I was like, kill this guy. Shut him up. Somebody kill him. I hope a lighting rig crushes him in the ring. And then like three years later, oh, he's such a great champion. It's great how we can do that, isn't it? Wonderful. Yeah. I was actually, I was rooting for my arch nemesis, Pittsburgh Steelers, last week, just to beat the New England, who I formerly liked until they never stopped losing, and now I switched it.

4:33 Drew How did the Steelers become your nemesis?

4:35 Adam Well, I grew up a Rams fan. I just watched. Here's the whole thing. Danny, I don't know. You're from Miami, right? Miami, Florida.

4:44 Drew Uh-uh. Dolphins. And the Steelers' dynasties was unfortunately this year.

4:48 Adam Danny wasn't born when they were...

4:49 Drew I know, but they're way... You can still appreciate that.

4:52 Adam What year were you born, Danny?

4:53 Seventy-four.

4:54 Adam Seventy-four. In two years, they'd gone before I was on... Larry Zonko was in his fifties when Danny was born. Yes.

5:03 It's been an interesting year.

5:06 Adam Yeah. It's been a tough football year. Thank God they beat my Rams. The only victory.

5:12 Yeah, thank you for that.

5:14 Drew Ricky Williams will be back.

5:15 Don't worry.

5:15 Adam He'll be back.

5:16 Well, I don't know if in a dolphin uniform, but we'll see.

5:18 Adam He'll be embraced by his teammates, too, but the thing about it is football is actually one of these sports, which is funny, and here's why you know football is a great sport. Baseball guys come and go. They leave. They get in like off-season boating accidents. They never come back and stuff. You never hear anything out of the team. Football, a guy picks up and leaves, the team's angry. It's like they're battalion. They're like, we were counting on him for leadership. We were counting. It's like all of a sudden you're the crew of the Memphis Bell and the tail gunner says, nah, I'm not going in, not for me. And everyone's like, are you kidding? You're going to get us killed. They're angry. They're angry at him.

5:56 Caller But it's also the motive for him leaving. You know, he wanted to go off.

5:59 Drew That was stupid.

6:00 Caller No, I'm all for it.

6:01 Adam But I'm saying in baseball, you could do this. Baseball guy could just take off for a year. First off, no one on the team feels betrayed when the second baseman or left fielder just says I'm sitting this season out.

6:13 Drew It doesn't seem like it.

6:14 Caller Well, I don't know. If you would have brought on, I don't know, A-Rod into the Yankees and halfway through his third year, he'd say, you know what, I actually want to. That's just because they're paying him so much.

6:25 Adam Well, true. But that's true. But to be fair, that's halfway. Like if you're on, if you're halfway in, he quit before opening season. I mean, he quit before the first game during, I don't know, preseason, well, not first pitch because it's football.

6:42 Drew Right.

6:42 Adam But the point is, is I'm saying baseball, football, great sport because of the camaraderie. And the guys are.

6:48 Drew It's more of a laugh or death sport.

6:49 Adam Understandably angry and don't want to let him come back. And I'm saying if that's baseball, you're sitting beneath, you're sort of stuff, you're sitting between one guy from the Dominican Republic and one guy from Tokyo who don't give a rat, probably couldn't, didn't know who you are, can't pronounce your name, don't give a rat's ass. They're getting their 20 million a year. That's all they care about. You want to go chase Gloria Estefan around, that's your business. You come back a year later.

7:10 Caller Also, Ricky's sort of their franchise player, so I think a franchise player in baseball too would have a severe impact on your team.

7:17 Adam Yeah, they seem to be someone else steps up. Anyway, all right, all right, stop disagreeing with me, Danny, let's go. Come on.

7:26 Drew I don't, I think.

7:29 Adam The Abazaba, yeah. Yeah.

7:31 Caller Let's go, let's get back to the Abazaba.

7:32 Adam Yeah, let's go. All right, so what do we got to look forward to this Sunday, by the way? We give anything away? You get shot? You shoot anybody?

7:41 Caller No, no. I don't get shot. Whether I shoot anybody or not, I think I'm going to hold that back.

7:50 Adam Okay, that means you're shooting somebody.

7:51 Caller Well, who knows?

7:52 Adam That's what I hear. That's what I hear. Drew, you hear that?

7:55 Drew Killing somebody, I heard.

7:56 Adam Or kill, yeah.

7:57 Drew Strangles somebody.

7:58 Adam And pistol whip. All right. And oh, by the way, I know I recognize that Danny played Desi Arnaz in the I Love Lucy movie. You do? Well, do you speak Spanish?

8:09 Caller I do.

8:10 Drew You do?

8:10 Adam So you can do that accent? Are you Cuban?

8:12 Caller I am Cuban.

8:13 Drew All right. Whenever you get angry, you start yelling in Spanish?

8:16 Caller No, no, that's more like my dad. My dad will rant in Spanglish.

8:22 Adam Do you have a good story when you guys came over here or took a raft or anything good?

8:27 Caller No, no.

8:27 Drew Nothing good?

8:28 Caller That's, I think, more common nowadays. That it was? Back when my grandparents came over in 1959.

8:37 Adam Oh, they came over?

8:38 Caller They actually took a flight.

8:40 Adam And what?

8:41 Caller Much more convenient.

8:42 Adam They flew a raft over?

8:44 Caller No. That would be an airplane. Right.

8:47 Adam Yeah. All right. So, and what about Fidel? It was funny when he fell down. I think everyone agreed on that. I think...

8:54 Caller I T-voted and watched it 12 times over.

8:56 Adam Everyone seemed to.

8:57 Drew I have Cuban friends. They despise him.

9:00 Adam Fidel?

9:01 Drew Cuban?

9:02 Adam Absolutely. Not a fan.

9:03 Drew I mean, just a hatred that is deep.

9:06 Adam Yeah.

9:07 Drew Well...

9:07 Adam And deserved. It really... You know, I use him as an example all the time of when everyone talks about how evil this country is and how we like the metal in everyone's business. If we truly were into it, we should have just gone over there. Soon as the Soviet Union or the former Soviet Union started to fall apart, he lost a lot of his military backing and stuff, we should have immediately just went over there and thrown him into the ocean. I mean, if we were as horrible as...

9:34 Drew The American Cubans would have loved that. Oh yeah.

9:37 Adam American Americans, American Cubans, Cuban Cubans, everybody but Fidel probably would have loved that. And I still don't see what the deal is, because here's my feeling with Cuba and Fidel. It's like there's the Soviet Union and then there's the United States. He hitches his wagon to the wrong team. He says, I'm going to hook up with the Soviet Union, you know, put some missiles here. We're both into communism. This is going to be great. And then 25 years, 30 years later, the wheels come off the wagon. And now the big brother who's there to protect them has like tuberculosis and he's dying of the hiv. And he's in a hospice right now. Now we come in and kick their ass, right? Because we have been nice to them for 30 years because of the big brother. You know what they're like? They're like that kid who's got the big brother is the star of the football team. And he's just he's in the ninth grade and the guy's a senior and they're just walking around campus and he's cracking Weisner. No one can do anything because the big brother's got the letterman jacket and he's the captain of the football team.

10:36 Drew But then he graduates.

10:37 Adam Then he graduates. Now he was tossed out, really, is what it is. Point is, is he's in juvie. He's gone, the big brother. Now it's time to exact our revenge on that wise, cracking little brother, right? Should we just go do that? What would the world do if we just said, look, like what if you tell me, Danny, what you think of this, but what if we just said to the world, look, Fidel's caused enough trouble over the last like 40 years. Let's face it, he's a bad guy. People are taking inner tubes over here. They're dying in storms. We're giving him to the first of the year. He doesn't have to leave. He doesn't have to go to exile. Just step down. Just move out.

11:15 Caller Well, you know, I think we're taking away the comedic opportunity of watching him fall more often.

11:21 Drew It would be nice.

11:22 Adam It would be nice.

11:23 Drew And I'm waiting till Raul steps in on his place.

11:25 Caller That would be comedy of errors.

11:27 Adam That his brother? Oh, really? Bad times? Bigger beard? Wow. Maybe the beard's what's taking him down.

11:34 Drew Bigger grenade belt. That's what takes him down.

11:37 Adam Drew, when you have, when you're, when you're basically have 60, 70 pounds of facial hair and you try to stand up as an old person, that's going to take you down, right? That's where you start walking forward, starts pulling you, it's like walking with a big, big bushel of apples on your head.

11:54 Caller What made me laugh is that the Cuban government released a statement saying that he refused anesthesia to, to repair his broken knee. Right. So that he can continue to govern the island.

12:04 Adam So ridiculous. I know.

12:05 Caller Sure.

12:06 Adam Govern the island or just tell what crazy baseball stories from the 40s? Drew knows. Drew, what?

12:11 Drew I went to Cuba and my, our Cuban friends still don't forgive us for having gone there. But we went and spent three hours with him.

12:18 Caller You actually went to Cuba.

12:19 Drew We went to Cuba and spent three hours with Castro.

12:21 Caller It was nice doing the show. You guys take care.

12:23 Adam You, well, Drew and 700 other idiots, by the way, not just him and you.

12:27 Drew There's a couple hundred of us in this room.

12:28 Adam Couple hundred.

12:28 Drew With Castro.

12:29 Adam And Corey Drew's traumatized kids who couldn't stay up.

12:33 Drew That was ridiculous. He went on a completely rambling diatribe that was barely made sense where the opening question was, he stands out there and goes, I'm going to take questions from you all. And the first of all, I had to shift into the building. We had to immediately come and we were under the supervision of the government the whole time we were there. You've got to come now. So we come in there. He goes, what's your question? And somebody goes, why should we trust Cuba? Why should we invest in Cuba? He spoke then for three hours on that question. And in the content, the content of the talk was rambling nonsense where he went on to talk about how he had discovered that Huntington's Korea was an autosomal dominant disease. Something known since the 40s. He discovered in this country. And that it was his Cuban system that he personally, and by the way, he's a great baseball player. I don't end up talking about baseball and how he invented the curveball. He invented it. Wow. Wow.

13:24 Caller It's a little known fact.

13:25 Drew I mean, just nutty stuff.

13:26 Caller Well, you know, you endured for three hours what the Cuban citizens have had to endure for over 40 years.

13:32 Drew And then Havana is this spectacular city that looks like it's Atlantis. It looks like it's just sinking into the water. It's just completely falling apart, but you can see the glory behind it.

13:43 Adam The jury's still out on communism. It may work after all. Give it some time, everybody. Come on now. Let's just go kick a man to the ocean. Can we do that? I mean, look, here's all I'm saying. As long as the rest of the world's going to think we're bullies and think we're power hungry, they already think we're a-holes. Let's start having some fun with it. And Cuba is close. It's easy. It'd be easy to get, I'm sure Bush is probably more popular there than Fidel is. It'd be easier just to get a little uprising. And a coup is always nice, by the way.

14:18 Drew It's quaint, yes.

14:18 Adam I'll take, as opposed to all the kind of ugliness we're having in Iraq and Parts Unknown, a nice healthy coup is nice every once in a while. First off, sounds good, coup. Sounds good. And secondly, it's fun. People taking to the street, firing guns up in the air. No one, I've seen movies, no one really seems to get hurt.

14:40 Drew In the coups.

14:41 Adam Yeah, just a lot of guys firing guns in the air, a lot of guys waving cigars around. A nice coup would be nice. All right, let's work on that.

14:49 Drew All right, here we go. But in the meantime.

14:51 Adam But in the meantime, we're going to the phones. We're going to speak to Ally, who's 17. Ally?

14:57 Drew Hey there.

14:58 Adam What's happening?

15:01 Drew We are good.

15:01 Danny Pino Good.

15:02 Drew You had a question.

15:04 Danny Pino Yeah, I want to know if it's easier to have an orgasm if you've been raped.

15:09 Drew I would say not.

15:10 Adam If it's easier to have one?

15:13 Danny Pino Yeah, like you're more likely to.

15:17 Adam But not during, this is after.

15:19 Drew After the rape, right?

15:20 Danny Pino Yeah.

15:22 Adam No. I would say it's more difficult.

15:24 Drew I would say it's more difficult. That if you're having orgasms easily, that's just, that's sort of how you're wired. That's your constitution.

15:30 Adam Who raped you? What happened?

15:32 Danny Pino Well, I don't really know, but like my dad's dad is a child molester and like, um, like I listen to you guys all the time and like I remember Drew talking about one time how like you get flashbacks. Like I always have flashbacks of when I'm like three and somebody going like, come on, let's go to the bathroom. I'm like, but I don't have to go potty. And then like I black out and then like somebody going, come on, let's go change your clothes. And like, I like blackout and I have like things like that all the time.

16:06 Drew Well, hold on. No, no, no, no, no.

16:07 Adam Is it this guy?

16:08 Drew Is this the guy in the flashback?

16:12 Adam When you're a kid, you have a life full of, you know, we're getting into the bathtub.

16:16 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

16:17 Adam I don't want to take a bath.

16:18 Drew Yeah. It's hard to organize memories in a accurate way under the age of about eight. They're very spotty and they can be interpreted in different ways and sort of filed different than they actually occurred and nothing about those sorts of, those are actually called screen memories are really what you call a flashback. Those are normal, Ali, what you're having.

16:36 Adam Well, what about your dad's dad, as you call him, your grandfather? How do you know he's a child molester?

16:45 Drew Except for that.

16:46 Adam Well, there you go. Well, look, who else did he molest other brothers and sisters of yours?

16:54 Danny Pino He was in jail before any of my other brothers and sisters were born.

16:58 Drew And he didn't go in jail for having touched someone in the family. And you say it's easy for you to have orgasms now?

17:05 Danny Pino Yeah.

17:05 Drew And that concerns you? No, no, no. It's you. It's good. You're lucky. You're one of those less than 10% women that can have them doing sit-ups.

17:16 Adam All right.

17:16 Drew Most of them have great difficulty with that at your age.

17:19 Adam Here's the thing. You're going to get like an SAT score and wonder if it was changed because you were molested, you're going to get a flat tire and you're going to wonder if it happened because you were molested. It's not a good way to go through life. I don't even know if you were molested.

17:32 Drew Yeah. I would sort of...

17:33 Adam Let's just assume you weren't until sort of proven otherwise.

17:36 Drew If you're able to have stable relationships and your mood and you're able that your emotional life is relatively healthy, move on.

17:42 Danny Pino I can't really have stable relationships because of my dad.

17:50 Drew All right.

17:53 Adam Your dad's a criminal too.

17:54 Drew There you go. He physically abused you. So that has the same impact as sexual abuse.

18:02 Adam Well, we probably just leave it at physically and mentally, by the way.

18:05 Drew Just the abuse.

18:07 Adam Abuse. Hey, Ally. Here's my plan for you. Don't get pregnant. Drew, stop that, please. Don't... And Drew's whole thing is you can't hear it on the air, but you can. Don't get pregnant. Yeah. And watch out. I don't trust these guys you're around. All right. And what are you doing in school? You're just getting by? All right. So what's your plan? All right. Because you're going to be grown up in about six months.

18:38 Drew Well, junior college, though.

18:40 Adam Just go focus. Okay, yeah. This is what I'm saying. We got to focus on nursing, right?

18:46 Drew Good.

18:46 Adam What are you going to do about that? Do it.

18:52 Drew Full speed ahead, okay?

18:54 Adam Everyone needs to get a trade, needs to do something. Who aren't going to college. It's fine. Be a nurse. Be an electrician. But do something. Don't just say, I'm going to go to junior college. Hold your ears, engineer Chris. Take headphones off. Or put it on, put it on arrow or something.

19:11 Drew The wrench arrow music?

19:13 Adam Yeah. Don't do the hold pattern thing. Just you're 17, you're a crappy student, fine. And by the way, Drew and Danny, I don't know, were you a bad student?

19:23 Caller Some years. I was a spotty. I guess it was what it was. Sometimes I'd apply myself and sometimes I wouldn't.

19:29 Adam What did you do when you graduated high school?

19:31 Caller I went to college.

19:32 Adam You did? Where did you go to college?

19:34 Caller I went to Florida International University.

19:35 Adam International? Sounds good. Seems like it's bad though.

19:39 Caller Well, it probably should have been called University of South Florida, but they named that University in Tampa, which is actually in Central Florida, but that was taken up by the university. So international.

19:50 Drew International. There is a Southern Florida and there's a Central Florida, right?

19:53 Caller Right, right. But one is in Tampa, one is in Orlando.

19:57 Drew Yes.

19:58 Adam Right.

19:59 Caller Odd.

19:59 Drew Weird.

20:00 Adam International is nice though. You picture like chicks walk around in Stortis outfits from the 60s. It certainly has the Swedish flair to it.

20:08 Caller You've been there.

20:09 Adam Yeah. Is it hot? It feels good.

20:11 Caller You know what? It is. It is. Florida.

20:14 Adam What you want to do is you want to go to a school somewhere in Florida where it's not too tough to get in. Now you've got hot chicks in shorts. You know what I mean? Hot weather, easy admittance equals smoking chicks.

20:28 Drew Just to explore Danny's heritage, let's take a Germany or Florida line one.

20:31 Adam All right. All right. Here's how the game is played. Line one. All bizarre stories either emanate from Germany or Florida. They tell us the story and we guess. Is it Germany or Florida? Drew, you were right last night. Were you not?

20:44 Drew As your behest.

20:45 Adam That's right.

20:46 Drew Remember, you made me vote Germany.

20:47 Adam I made you vote Germany.

20:48 Caller I heard that one. I thought it was Florida. It sounded Florida.

20:51 Adam Well, you're an expert. Zach?

20:53 Yeah.

20:53 Adam Or you were an expert. Zach, you're 13.

20:56 Caller Yeah.

20:56 Adam Give us a story.

20:59 Caller A man was told by authorities that they couldn't shut down neighborhood drug dealers because they lacked evidence. So he went down the street, bought a $4 bag of marijuana and called the sheriff's deputies to collect the evidence. Instead, they arrested him and left him facing a year in jail.

21:15 Drew That's America.

21:16 Caller That's Florida for sure.

21:18 Adam That feels like Florida. Yeah. All right, Zach, we're all going Florida. Florida, Zach. Yes, it is.

21:25 Drew There we go.

21:26 Adam Yeah, that's all right. Now, if you'd said hash, we'd have to think about it a little bit or something, some macabre setting other than the street, cabaret, or something, Hitler's bunker, something like that.

21:42 Drew Yeah, yeah, something like that.

21:43 Adam Wouldn't be a bad name for a gay bar. Walk down some stairs. Hitler's bunker. I'll meet you at Hitler's bunker.

21:48 Drew Bunker.

21:49 Adam Do you ever go to the glory hole of Hitler's bunker? Awesome. It's down about 30 flights of stairs. It's a great little place. You just keep going down Bleecker Street until you see the sandbags. Then you turn down the stairs. It's awesome. All right. Let's see now that was an easy one. That's how you play Germany or Florida.

22:08 Drew Notice the certainty with which Danny approached that. That definitely Florida.

22:12 Caller That's definitely Florida. I'm confident.

22:15 Adam Oh no. It's like an indigenous bird of your region.

22:21 Drew You hear it. You hear it.

22:22 Adam You know what it is. Erica?

22:25 Yes. Hi.

22:25 Adam You're 21?

22:27 Caller Yes.

22:27 Adam What's up?

22:29 Caller I've been with my boyfriend for about 10 months. We're both the same age. We're both 21. And I have absolutely no urge to have sex with him anymore whatsoever.

22:39 Adam Is he doing something wrong?

22:41 Caller No. I don't know. No, because I enjoy it when I have it. It's just the drive. It's the initiative.

22:49 Adam If he's done nothing that you're wanting to punish him for, like not pay attention to you or banging your sister or something, this might mean it's over, unless there's some chemical imbalance or something.

23:00 Drew Or there's always, you know, this is a loveline caller after all. This is a genuine intimacy and maybe she is sort of an abuse survivor and she can only have sex with people she doesn't care about. And somebody that then, and she's in that sort of bipolar phase where she used to be very, very sexually active with guys she didn't care about. Now she actually is with somebody she loves and it all shuts down. This is the Corolla syndrome.

23:20 Caller Is that true?

23:21 Adam Is that true? Is that what's going on?

23:23 Caller Now, I don't know so much about the abuse, but what Drew was saying, I actually told the screener guy, I don't remember his name, but Drew had told another caller a couple weeks ago that that is something that happens, but he never explained it, so I was really, really mad.

23:41 Drew So did you ever have an eating disorder?

23:45 Caller This is the interesting one. Yes and no. I have been known to have a form of anorexia, but it's not because I think I'm sad.

23:53 Drew Stop smoking a cigarette while you're talking to me.

23:55 Adam She's nervous. He's a doctor.

23:57 Caller I'm freaked out.

23:58 Adam All right, but you understand it's like blowing a butt and talking to a doctor is like violating yourself with a crucifix while you're confessional. Talking to a priest. It really is. Drew, you don't have to do it.

24:11 Drew I'm surprised you didn't. I did it for you.

24:13 Adam I only do the beat-off move.

24:14 Drew You don't do the girl.

24:15 Adam I don't do it. I don't have a vagina, but I have a penis. Oh, yes. Yeah, it's got to be, it's just, it's poor form when you're like, yeah, so I think a may have been my legend. Oh, I'm going to, oh, oh, put the cigarette out. All right. Honey, get the dip. I got a dip. Yeah, no, bring the Kodiak. A red man, whatever, just bring it. Let's go. Yeah. Come on, baby. Put that thing out. It's insulting to Dr. Drew.

24:42 Drew All right, good. So, you don't sort of have an eating disorder. That's a yes or a no. So, you had an eating disorder.

24:50 Caller Well, if I don't feel good, if I feel nauseous, I won't eat to keep myself from feeling that way and I get into a vicious cycle. And it has been happening more often than not when I've been with James that I do feel nauseous. So, I went to a health store to get vitamins because I know if I'm not eating, I have to supplement my body somehow.

25:09 Adam Well, why do you get nauseous for being around your boyfriend or being with him sexually?

25:16 Caller No, it's something that like I started working grave at Denny's, which is a wonderful job, but that threw my body out of whack. So, I went through a couple of weeks where I had a cold and was borderline flu and I'm still not quite...

25:29 Drew All this physical stuff.

25:30 Adam Okay, yeah.

25:31 Drew You're abused. Yeah. You're abandoned or neglected or something.

25:34 Adam You got to take care of yourself. What's up? What happened?

25:39 Caller Well, like I said, I've listened to you guys for years. I had a neighbor in elementary school. Now, it was nothing that I think is overly sexual, but Drew is the doctor. It was another girl and she always had me play the guy and we'd have makeout sessions, but we'd never kiss. It'd be like...

25:59 Adam That's more about... Quiet. Where's your dad and your mom?

26:02 Caller They're together and they're...

26:04 Adam Are they good? They're good?

26:06 Caller Yeah.

26:06 Drew Were they in your life when you were growing up?

26:08 Caller Yes. Well, my dad is a workaholic. He was home, but they also both my parents smoke pot. A lot of times, they would ask me to go upstairs or go watch TV or something. They would ask me to leave.

26:21 Adam Hold on a second. You know what I get with Erica is I get someone who feels like she has to take care of herself and urge herself.

26:27 Drew Yes, because no one did it for her.

26:28 Adam No one took care of her. Yeah. So, even though normally it's just the parents abandon you, the dad moves to Florida, ironically. I don't know what happens to Floridians who abandon their kids. Lord knows there's a lot of them.

26:39 Drew Who moves to Germany?

26:40 Adam No, I think it's Nevada.

26:42 Drew Oh, yeah.

26:43 Adam Nevada is a sort of ashtray for Florida. But it is true because you show me a guy who moved to Nevada or Florida, I don't want to talk to him. And when we need him, by the way, the state he left is looking for him.

26:57 Drew But why do they always take a job as a driver?

27:00 Adam They just drive.

27:00 Drew Some kind of driver.

27:01 Adam They drive the truck, you know, you know why? Because you know those guys who start doing this like they go, listen, man, I don't need a job. I got the man breathing down my neck. I don't need some guy with a tie looking at and you start thinking, you start thinking not only do you not he needs you out. That's like I would like you to leave the cab. Could you run alongside the cab? Please could you could you operate it via the rear bumper or something with a remote remote because they can't tolerate work a job anyway people but you start realizing people can't tolerate them. That's the reason they need to get out of the office. She's taking care of herself.

27:35 Drew Let's get on back after the break.

27:37 Adam Really? Because I need to know more of the sex stuff because Danny Pino here tonight from a cold case CBS eight o'clock on Sunday nights. Take a quick break. Right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's The Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE. 191 Danny Pino here tonight. Danny's from Cold Case, CBS, Sunday nights, eight o'clock. Number one new drama on TV last year. Turns out we're almost neighbors, Danny and I.

28:23 Drew Weird.

28:23 Adam Yeah, eerie, spooky, everybody. Let's-

28:30 Drew Finish with Erica.

28:31 Adam Finish with Erica. All right, recap Erica.

28:33 Drew Erica shut down sexually with her boyfriend. She has maybe an eating disorder. She comes from a marijuana addicted, sort of neglectful parents. And Erica.

28:44 Adam Yeah.

28:45 Drew What was sex like? What were you like before the boyfriend?

28:51 Caller Not really slutty, but I was with, I wanna say about 15 guys. I haven't got the chance to count before James, but I only, I lost my virginity at 18. And it wasn't to the greatest guy, but it wasn't rape or date rape or anything like that. It was completely willing on my part and he was a really nice guy.

29:08 Adam Refreshing.

29:11 Caller But yeah, I feel lucky for that one. But it was a lot of random guys. I knew as friends, but it was never really in a relationship sense.

29:23 Adam We just figured that you were sort of neglected and had to care for yourself as a kid, even though your parents were physically around. They were sort of incapacitated downstairs. And now everything's about taking care of you.

29:34 Drew Well, and what happens when you don't get what you need, you don't develop an internal capacity for regulate your feelings, and sex and drugs become a way of doing that. And then you start, you never develop an adequate self-esteem. You start feeling guilty for being that way. Sexuality becomes a part of yourself. It's sort of separate and bad. And when you're in a real relationship with somebody you actually care about, you feel like you can't bring that part in. That's the bad part. You don't want to bring that in. It will somehow soil the relationship.

29:56 Adam And that's just working, by the way, you're calling from New Hampshire, right?

29:59 Drew Graveyard of Denny's.

30:00 Adam And you're working Graveyard of Denny's. And imagine, like, wintertime, 4.30 in the morning, what rolls into that place. Who's coming in there? Are you open 24 hours?

30:09 Caller Yes.

30:11 Adam And who's coming in there at four in the morning?

30:14 Caller A lot of times it's drunk kids, underage drunk kids, like to go in, they party all night and so on.

30:20 Adam Yeah, they went partying, right.

30:21 Drew Do they pee on each other under the table?

30:23 Caller No.

30:24 Drew That's what Adam used to do.

30:25 Caller They generally have some pretty good people. Actually, the bad drunk people are like the 30, 40, 50 year old people that come in, and they'll put insult figures up and down.

30:34 Adam But by the way.

30:35 Drew It's gotta be like truckers going between Nova Scotia and New York City or something.

30:39 Adam These places that stay open, that get the crowd in there at four in the morning, I just become like a sieve in a sewer. Like nothing else is open, they can't go anywhere else, they're loaded, no one wants to go home and it's three in the morning, so they got idiots because they go, it's three in the morning, let's put down a couple of lumberjack stacks before we call it a night. By the way, I miss those days. But I mean, like, and then you wake up and you go never again and then, oh, 18 hours later, you're back there eating your next root and tootie. But the point is, is I could imagine it should be like a horrible, surly crowd and tipping just must be horrible, yeah?

31:21 Drew Yeah, no tipping, especially in those bombing nights in the winter in North New Hampshire.

31:26 Caller Yeah, yeah.

31:27 Adam Are people tipping, Erica?

31:28 Caller Some nights, Saturday night, I ended up working a 12-hour shift. I made about 150 bucks. But last night, it was dead. I made 25 in an eight-hour shift.

31:40 Adam Oh, let me say this about tipping. I got two tipping theories. One is, there's nothing worse than living out here in LA and you got some 19-year-old model who's like, hmm, and everything's overpriced and undersized and you sit down with three or four people and you order a couple expensive bottles of wine and some cocktails and the next thing you know, things upscale, trendy eatery. The next thing you know, it's a $900 thing and she's walking with a couple hundred bucks and she's nothing but attitude. And by the way, her training is she's been there for three weeks and she blew the owner and she dropped out of junior college. I don't, and by the way, you know, okay, so people are like, well, she gets 15, between 15 and 20% because that's the way you tip. You tip, you know, the guys I go out with, like you tip 20%.

32:26 Drew You gotta tip 20%.

32:27 Adam You gotta tip 20%, but really, she needs $200 for an hour and 45 minutes work of really not doing anything and serving three or four others.

32:36 Drew She has a lot of attitude.

32:37 Adam Yeah, she has to get paid. I can beat off to her, that's true. She's gotta get paid like she's an attorney, like she's an engineer, an architect. I was gonna say doctor, but Drew will get insulted because you guys don't get paid that much.

32:49 Drew That's right.

32:49 Adam She who has no training, no college, no anything in his long and attitude is gonna marry some of us, the Sultan of Pranayana in six months. Anyway, she's gotta get 20, no, she doesn't. You could get your $700, $800 thing and give her 80 bucks and I'm fine with that.

33:04 Drew That's tons.

33:05 Adam She's still making 50 bucks an hour. That's fine, she can make 50 bucks an hour cash.

33:11 Drew That's just at that table.

33:11 Adam She's not doing anything. That's just at your table. And by the way, when I was a journeyman carpenter and I was reading plans and dealing with inspectors and pulling up the thing full of truck, $15 an hour. For the love of Christ up there working out hips and valleys and ridge rafters and stuff on a hip square for the love of God. And this little C is getting 10 times what I'm making and having a cocktail and batting her eyelashes.

33:38 Caller How dare you? You leave hungry.

33:39 Adam I leave hungry.

33:40 Caller You leave hungry.

33:41 Adam That's right.

33:41 Caller You gotta go to In-N-Out Burger.

33:42 Adam Eating off the lunch truck.

33:44 Caller Or to Denny's.

33:45 Adam Or to Denny's. Get myself the Sleepwalker Special.

33:48 Drew That's harder than this moment. What got your fancy there, Chris?

33:51 Adam He doesn't like those broads. He's an ass full of them.

33:53 Drew Right, right. Or where you wanted to eat afterwards made you laugh. No, it's just the 15%.

33:58 Adam And Chris over here, look at him. He's busting his ass. He gets 10 bucks an hour.

34:01 Drew That's right. Oh, he's related. Righteous indignation.

34:04 Adam Let me see this. Engineer Chris gets $20 for sitting here listening to my retarded rants, which he's heard the same ones night after night after night. Night after night, he's right, he'll have to go into therapy to the like, he's like, like what he's going to have to detoxify from like venomous rants. He gets next to nothing. This hot chick who, by the way, he's got a sugar daddy who's leasing her a Jeep Cherokee and the guy or condo, the beager. She gets tons of money. No, here's the way it should be. Now, then the same a-holes or maybe different a-holes, they go to a Denny's, they get some chick like Erica, she's busting her hump, but the meal, it's cheap. You and your buddy sit there and eat like John Goodman and it comes to $14.99 and you're like, all right, give her $2.

34:54 Drew By the way, she's sitting there all night.

34:56 Adam All night.

34:56 Drew Not just until 9.30.

34:58 Caller And she probably has like 15 tables compared to other chick who's got like three.

35:02 Adam She's running around. So here's my point.

35:04 Drew So it should be 100%.

35:05 Adam Here's my point. When you get a meal that's like you and a buddy and it's under 30 bucks, you gotta step it up to like 50%. Just leave 10 bucks. You know what I mean? You go to Denny's, you eat your ass off, you get the syrup go round, you get all that stuff. Don't leave her. Technically, you only owe her $2.10 on the $15 meal, but don't do it. Slap a five or a 10 down. Give that person a little something. And by the way, you know what she's going home to? Oh, she's got a husband's like just sucking off a old crow bottle and she's pulling this belt out. When she arrives. She comes through the trailer, just pulling the belt out.

35:43 Drew And by the way, the belt's just a rope.

35:44 Adam Yeah, don't pull the rope out. That's right, that's right. Wore the belt out, beaten her with it. Smoking, some cools. Yeah, no, that's right. Mm-hmm.

35:54 Drew 10 bucks.

35:55 Adam All right, the other one, go down. Fine, she didn't get anything. All right, where are we, Drew?

35:59 Drew Sarah, we're talking to Sarah.

36:00 Adam Talking to Sarah. Sarah, 17.

36:03 Danny Pino Hello.

36:05 Adam What's up?

36:06 Danny Pino Okay, I have another question. I went out with this guy over the summer that was very much older than me, by a lot.

36:17 Drew You were 17, how old is he?

36:19 Caller Yes, 31.

36:20 Adam Oh, I love that. He was very much older than me, by a lot. Because I'm at, I wasn't like, you're 17, he's 41. Now you're 17, no, now you're 14, he's 128.

36:36 Drew I'm Bales above.

36:36 Adam Yeah, he's got a beard down to his knees. He's holding an hourglass.

36:42 Caller She went out with Castro.

36:43 Adam That's right. Sarah? Oh, here's the sad part. When she says how old the guy is and he's a 10 years younger than you, Drew. You want to fall on like number two pencil?

36:57 Drew Yeah, pencil would be fine.

36:58 Adam Makes you have a note to kill yourself when you get home. All right, let's see.

37:01 Drew Chill self.

37:01 Adam Sarah?

37:02 Danny Pino Yeah.

37:03 Adam You're 17. How old was this old man?

37:06 Danny Pino 31.

37:11 Adam Try it up. You're lucky you didn't break him.

37:19 Danny Pino Your voices are like old.

37:22 Adam Wow, that's my favorite. It's my favorite drop. We seem like teenagers because I make 135 beat-off jokes every night and talk about peeing in the sink. That's the teenage part.

37:34 Drew And then there's the reality of our voice. Right.

37:37 Adam All right, so Sarah.

37:38 Drew All right, Sarah, this guy's a criminal.

37:41 Adam We don't like him.

37:42 Drew Did you sleep with him? Yeah. Yes, you did.

37:46 Danny Pino Actually, we went out for a while and it was good in the beginning and then like it just went downhill.

37:52 Drew It's not, Sarah, there can be nothing good about it. I know it might have seemed good, but the guy is a criminal. Wait, this is what I tell every young lady like this, is wait till you're in your 30s and you think about who that guy was that must have been dating a 17-year-old. You will just, your skin will crawl.

38:09 Danny Pino But like, he would be-

38:11 Drew She took that one hard. I know.

38:15 Danny Pino He mentally abused me, kind of. Like, he would threaten to tell my mom stuff and I wasn't allowed to see him.

38:23 Drew Threaten to call your mom. Are you kidding? He'd get arrested if he called your mom.

38:28 Adam I love that ploy.

38:29 Drew What an idiot.

38:30 Adam That's a dude move. No chicks ever tried that move.

38:32 Caller You know what I wanna know? How did it all start? I mean, what was the genesis of it all?

38:37 Adam Yeah.

38:39 Danny Pino We actually met over the summer at the gorge for a concert and then we started hanging out. And he lived by me, so it was kind of...

38:49 Drew Wait, now set the scene exactly. You were at a concert together?

38:52 Caller Oh no, I met him at a concert. He actually met up with one of my friends and I met up with her.

38:58 Drew Another 17-year-old friend.

39:00 Danny Pino Yeah.

39:01 Drew He picked up a 30-year-old picking up on a 17-year-old. What does this guy do for a living, just for laughs?

39:06 Danny Pino Um, he works at a tattoo shop.

39:10 Adam Oh, yeah.

39:12 Drew Yeah.

39:12 Adam Fantastic. So all this and hepatitis C.

39:15 Drew Is he an IV drug user? Not that you know.

39:19 Adam Okay. All right, so, Sarah, you're, yeah, yeah, you better, you better be careful. This guy may rant himself out to your parents. The next thing he's gonna do is tell the authorities. Or maybe he'll just threaten to throw himself into jail.

39:34 Drew It's 16 in Washington, though. It's not illegal. Oh, is that right? Interesting.

39:39 Adam So, Sarah, 16 in Washington is the age of consent.

39:44 Drew By the way, that's why that's not a good idea, of 16 is the age of consent.

39:47 Danny Pino Well, actually, he knocked me up.

39:50 Adam He did?

39:51 Danny Pino Yeah, and then he left me. And I just recently had an abortion, like, not an abortion, but I had a miscarriage. And he doesn't talk to me anymore. But ever since then, when I come around guys that like me, I freak out and run away.

40:07 Caller And it makes me nauseous.

40:09 Drew Hold on a second, hold on a second. So you got pregnant.

40:12 Adam He got pregnant, he got a pregnant.

40:13 Drew How long after did you have a miscarriage?

40:15 Danny Pino Three months, like three and a half, four months.

40:18 Drew And what happened during that miscarriage?

40:21 Danny Pino I was in class and I had really, really bad pain. And I went to the bathroom and clots were coming out of me, like chunks. And so I went home and I pretty much just sat there in blood and then I went to the doctor and that's what they told me, so.

40:38 Drew And they didn't do a DNC afterwards?

40:40 Danny Pino They like gave me a pap smear and checked me out, but I just went to Planned Parenthood and they cleaned me out, but.

40:48 Adam DNCs where they clean you out? What's DNC, Drew? Don't put the plus on, just talk, would you? The DNC.

40:54 Drew The DNC is an operation.

40:56 Adam Well, they got, but they don't cut you open.

40:58 Drew No, but they put her out and they clean them out.

41:00 Adam Well, she said they clean them out.

41:01 Drew In the hospital.

41:03 Adam Well, they can't do it at Planned Parenthood?

41:05 Drew No. What's the difference? Point is, there's a definite bogus flavor to this thing.

41:09 Adam No, no. What'd they use on you? What'd they clean you out with?

41:13 Danny Pino They put a clear clamp inside of me. It kind of seemed like it'd be a passenger, but I was freaking out.

41:28 Adam Hold on a second. Drew, what do you want? What is this? Not bogus.

41:32 Drew Clear clamp, just a speculum. It's a clear clamp. That's what opens it up.

41:36 Adam Yeah, I know what a speculum is. And then they go in with the Swifter and they clean it out.

41:40 Drew Swifter, yeah.

41:42 Adam Whatever they use these days, I don't know. But here's my point. She described an abortion. She was in class, she got cramps, she went to the thing. Drew, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? You don't know anything.

41:54 Drew All right.

41:54 Adam Well, by the way, what's... It's not that spectacular.

41:59 Drew All right, that's fine.

42:00 Adam Sarah?

42:01 Drew Yeah? And so now when you get around guys.

42:05 Caller I was actually like a guy and he tried to kiss me and I get nauseous, like I want puke.

42:12 Drew All right. So you're super anxious around guys.

42:14 Adam No, you're upset. You were traumatized.

42:16 Caller You've been through a lot. You had to sort of expect that.

42:21 Adam Sarah?

42:22 Danny Pino Yeah.

42:22 Adam Oh, she's got a bad line. Sarah, are you there?

42:25 Danny Pino Yeah, sorry, I'm like really, really cold.

42:28 Adam Did your parents know you were pregnant?

42:30 Danny Pino No, God, no.

42:32 Drew What were you planning on doing?

42:36 Adam What was your plan?

42:38 Drew With that pregnancy before it terminated.

42:41 Danny Pino Well, I was planning on keeping it and I was gonna move out and try to do things on my own.

42:48 Adam All right, so you were gonna tell your parents.

42:50 Drew And not tell your parents?

42:51 Adam Well, at some point.

42:52 Danny Pino Well, at one point after I was out and they can't threaten to kick me out because I'd already be on my own.

42:58 Adam Yeah, that Drew, hold on, this isn't a bogus call. She's not smart enough to do a bogus call. And she came up with a good abortion thing. Unless this was, I only well believe it if there was another abortion that she's bringing in, spontaneous abortion, that is. Sarah. Yeah. All right. I believe you. I believe you too. Yeah, so does Danny. Drew over here doesn't. Are you making this up?

43:21 Danny Pino No, I'm not.

43:23 Adam All right, I believe her. So here's the thing.

43:25 Danny Pino You know what, I can tell you where you were. And he actually caught him hitting on 14 year olds too.

43:34 Drew Yeah, well, no, I'm sure he does stuff like that.

43:36 Adam I'm sure he's a bad guy.

43:37 Drew Yeah.

43:37 Adam All right, so here's the thing. All right, you're not pregnant. That's good. Your parents haven't kicked out. That's good. You'll learn a valuable lesson with an a-hole. That's good and bad. A little counseling, perhaps.

43:52 Drew You know what, if you were traumatized in the past, this kind of trauma can trigger all kinds of horrible things. But the fact is, if you're just super anxious around guys, that's really all you're experiencing. Try to find a nice, boring guy just to kind of go out with and hang out with. Don't put a lot of heat on it. Don't expect to get in a relationship. Don't get a physical.

44:09 Adam How about just taking a year off? How about just focusing on your school and your friends and that kind of thing?

44:13 Drew Just take it really slow, really slow.

44:14 Adam Yeah, and believe me, you can go a year in high school without getting laid. Trust me. Believe you, me.

44:22 Drew That's as a male, Adam.

44:24 Adam I know, but guys feel, I think women, we gotta take a break. Oh, do we gotta take a break? But women just feel like they're nothing without men. They don't exist somehow.

44:35 Drew Better if they don't have a male.

44:37 Adam It's like a tree falling in a forest. Would you hear it if they're, would I be alive if there weren't men too long after me sexually? Just stop it. Listen, get your friends, get your school and relax for a year.

44:48 Drew I agree with that.

44:48 Adam All right, you'll be plenty of time to sled around later. Believe me, you got your whole life. All right, with a quick break, we'll be right back after this.

45:01 Drew Call Loveline.

45:02 Adam Hey, buddy, it's Adam.

45:03 Drew And I'm Dr. Drew.

45:04 Adam Here to talk about Axe Deodorant Body Spray.

45:07 Drew Yes, sir.

45:08 Adam You spray that on, you give stink the axe.

45:13 Caller Hey, everybody, Loveline.

45:20 Adam Danny Pino here tonight from Cold Case, CBS, eight o'clock, Sunday night. Yes, Drew.

45:26 Drew Yes, Adam.

45:27 Adam Looking good, buddy.

45:28 Drew Break it down.

45:29 Adam Break it down. All right. Haven't talked politics tonight because we were just sort of had an ass full of it last night. We don't really know what's going on. Although I do here, speaking of Cold Case, the one thing I dug, there was a initiative or ballot, some measure where if they arrested you, they took a little DNA and then they had it on file. And this is something, they was pussies over at the ACLU. You have been fighting from guys on, drove me nuts, which is somebody had this great idea, which is, hey, how about we get a DNA swab of all the guys are on death row? That way we can close some cases that they're probably involved in. And here's how it works, basically. Here's how you can tell, because most of the time when they're looking for a killer of something, it turns out he's behind bars in New Mexico for some for aggravated assault. And they're looking for some, he did some, he murdered a couple of people in Indiana, you know, it's a handful of, makes sense, by the way, it's like they're the guys who make all the money. And then there's the guys who create all the crimes, like everyone takes turn killing somebody. One guys do most of it. And somebody said, I think all the resources it takes, by the way, to keep these files going, you know, from your TV job. That's right. And then think about the poor grieving families who never have any closure. And I know that sounds like a curse. You think the guy is, oh, he's probably got a hooker on top of him right now and is enjoying himself at a roulette table in Nevada. That's horrible. You like to know the guys behind bars or wherever he is. And so someone said, hey, I got a great plan, and this is really what's going wrong with this country in a nutshell. Somebody has an idea. Somebody says, look, here's a way to save some money, save some manpower, get rid of some paperwork and give some closure to the family. No, no, no. We'll go get some DNA swatches from death row prisoners. They're already on death row. We'll get a little DNA from them. We'll be able to close some of the other cases that may be open that have their DNA on them. Or maybe they'll find them innocent. But that's the thing. So, great plan, right? No, ACLU? No, no, no.

47:39 Drew I want to allow it after they're dead.

47:42 Adam I don't know. I guess the ACLU won't. And the thing about it is, it's that no, no, no, no, no, slippery slope, slippery slope. Because the idea is once the government gets a database of everybody, that's when it starts turning on its citizens. Yeah, that's what the government wants to do. They want to know your name, your phone. By the way, what doesn't the government know? Does the government not know where to find you, does not know what your social security is, not know what your taxes are, couldn't push a button and figure out how much you're paying taxes or how many parking tickets you got last year? Believe me, the government knows.

48:15 Drew And what I know is we got to take a break again.

48:17 Adam Really?

48:17 Drew Yes.

48:18 Adam Jesus Christ, I'm on a roll here.

48:20 Drew Yes, sorry.

48:21 Adam Danny Pino here tonight from CBS Cold Case. Yeah, DNA. All right, a little more DNA talk and it's right back to your troubles after this.

48:29 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal. Look in the hookup, call the Dateline.

48:33 Caller Stick a waste in time with the wrong person, call the Dateline.

48:36 Caller One call is all you need to make.

48:37 Caller Call the Dateline.

48:38 Caller 1-877-889.

48:46 Caller Call Loveline.

48:50 Caller Loveline.

49:03 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Danny Pino here tonight, Cold Case, CBS, Sunday Night. Just talk a little DNA before we want to break.

49:18 Drew Need to go back to that?

49:19 Adam Well, here's what I want to say. I want to say that there's an initiative here in California to get a little DNA from those who are pulled over or brought in and keep a database of it, and I'm all for it. And by the way, might turn out to be good for the person that gave the swab. It's not always about you being railroaded into prison.

49:41 Drew If you have nothing to hide.

49:42 Adam You could be missing. Or it could be your corpse they find and want to identify. Yes?

49:49 Caller I'm in full support only because I think it'll help the show go on for another few years. I mean, think of all the information they're going to get.

49:55 Adam Yeah, they're not DNA, boy. That's just solid stuff. That's all we need. Also, one other couple of things. One, I saw some ads that Jesse, former governor Jesse, the body of Ventura was giving black hair, black beard, looking like a maniac. Have you seen him? Well, he's a wrestler. Yeah, he was, but then he became a governor, but then he's now he's a wrestler again. Have you seen?

50:21 Drew No.

50:21 Adam Nothing? Didn't see that spot, Danny? Crazy pitch black dyed beard and pitch black dyed wrestler hair.

50:28 Drew That's your man show viewer there.

50:30 Adam Oh yeah. He loved the man show, the show on TV. God bless the governor. And then I liked that Schwarzenegger was on TV today talking about, I don't know, Prop 66 or whatever the one where they're talking about appealing the or role in modifying the three strikes thing. And I thought to myself, I know you like Schwarzenegger and I like him for certain reasons too, just cause he seems like a hustler, but I don't mean a hustler like Pimp Hustler. He just seems to be doing something. But he's like, he explained why he was against the modifying 66 and I don't do a good Schwarzenegger, but it was basically, we don't want to let these people get out of prison, these murderers, these rapists, these drug and they release them into your neighborhoods and they begin again. But the backers of Prop 66 want the rapists, arsonists and murderers released?

51:28 Drew Of course.

51:28 Adam And do you actually just dump them into your neighborhood where they run around like roaches that were let out of a jar?

51:32 Drew I think Dr. Ross draws a pic to the neighborhood.

51:34 Adam I thought to myself, all right, I'm a fan, but could you be any more of a simpleton? Who are you talking to, seventh graders? Like, how about you say something like, look, the people that are behind 66, I'm sure they had all the goodwill in the world. Their logic is flawed, however. They would like you to believe that you're only letting people that, you know, non-violent crimes or whatever.

51:57 Drew You're judging a man who speaks two languages and who has difficulty with English as his second language. How dare you?

52:03 Adam He basically summed the whole thing up by just saying, they just get a steak bed truck. They start, they use a pitchfork and they load pedophiles onto it. Then they come into your neighborhood and they just dump it. They dump them, they start running around. They get in your neighborhood, they go in your mailbox, they scurry under your screen door. You know that pie that's cooling out on your kitchen window? They eff it. Oh, they don't even eat it. So that hole is at the top. Pow.

52:27 Drew There's a new American pie coming.

52:29 Adam Yeah.

52:29 Drew Your way.

52:31 Adam It was a nice explanation he gave, though. Thank you, Arnold.

52:34 Drew I do admire him.

52:35 Adam Who is he talking to?

52:36 Drew Don't start making fun of me.

52:37 Adam No, I mean it.

52:38 Drew Remarkable, John, really. He's doing a great Davis, God save.

52:41 Adam I think time is over. Please. But really, here's the thing. You replacing Gray Davis is, it would be like if the last doctor on this show was just a cardboard cutout of Dr. Phil. And someone's like, look how much better job Drew is doing than the cardboard cutout of Dr. Phil. Like, all right, but it's not that difficult, is it? I mean, you're doing a better job than Gray Davis. Fantastic. All you gotta do is sit up. You're doing a better job than Gray Davis. I'm fine with that, but why the retarded explanation? Why are they oversimplified talking to, you know, Down syndrome, fourth graders? I agree with you.

53:20 Drew I think there's a lot of that in politics and in media.

53:22 Adam Well, here's what I would like, and Danny, just nod if you agree, because I'm monopolizing it. But how about someone says, look, let me explain Prop 66. The people, you know, they're not insane. Their idea is they're going to let people that are nonviolent out from long sentences. The problem with that logic is, and then tell us why. Don't just say, oh, they want to take rapists and arsonists and murderers and throw them in your bedroom through the heating system.

53:55 Caller Well, you know, he is an actor, so he had to do that for effect. I guess he, I know he had to paint the picture, tell the story. It was his kind of a way of jumping back into character.

54:04 Drew See, Danny admires what he did.

54:06 Adam I know, I know, but it's almost like you going, going, look, you have, I'm trying to decide between the Toyota and the Honda, and we're talking to the Toyota dealer, and he's going, Honda's, Honda's not even a car, it's just a guy defecates on a paper plate, and he sticks wheels to it, and he gives it to you.

54:23 Caller So you've driven a Honda.

54:25 Adam And you're like, well, I'm sure they can't be doing that, they wouldn't be in business with, oh yes, oh yes. No, I want, here's what I want my guy to say, hey, the Accord's a fine car, it's a good car. Yeah, I had one for a couple years in college, let me tell you why the Camry's better. You know what I'm saying? That's what I want, and they won't do it. It's just like the Accord, the other car, doesn't exist. It's horrible.

54:46 Caller But you know what, the whole thing with the Camry, kind of boring, the defecating on a plate.

54:50 Drew Much better.

54:51 Caller Much better.

54:52 Adam Much better.

54:52 Drew More drama.

54:53 Adam And you get people out to vote when you talk about defecating on a plate.

54:57 Caller Oh yeah.

54:57 Adam Two chickens in every pot and a defecation on every paper plate.

55:01 Drew With wheels.

55:01 Adam With wheels. All right, should we keep going? We're going to let arsonists, we're going to let them go in your hair.

55:08 Drew I think we'll let this discussion die natural death.

55:10 Adam We're going to let them go in your hair. That's fortunate. Thanks Arnie. Fantastic. Let me write this down. And now I still don't know what Prop 66 was, but I appreciate the governor weighing in on it. Shall we? People should make fun of him. They really should. I didn't want to, but he goes up there and tells the world's worst jokes. He does all the Terminator stuff and all the I'll be back and all this. He's going to terminate the deficit and all this. Really? Look, I like the guy. The guy works hard, but what is he doing? What is all this stuff? Who's advising him? Does he have to, he has too many yes men around him just laughing at everything he says? Like someone needs to go, okay, yeah, I know, I know. The deficit-inator, by the way. That's enough. Let's go, let's focus. Let's go now. You're right?

56:01 Drew Laughing time is over.

56:02 Adam All right, Shelley, it was over about 20 minutes ago.

56:05 Drew Should we try a second?

56:08 Adam No.

56:10 Drew He's got that gene.

56:10 Adam He's a blowhard, yeah. Shelley, but by your logic, I would be Jewish too.

56:15 Drew Yeah, but you're funny.

56:16 Yeah.

56:18 Adam That's right. Go ahead, Shelley.

56:22 Okay, pretty simple question for you, probably more or less. I'm 28 years old, single, and at best, you might say I've dated. I've never had a real boyfriend to speak of. My friends tell me I'm at least either attractive or average, and I'm wondering what in the world I am doing wrong that I can't ever seem to find someone other than an occasional date. I feel like I can get away half the time. I don't think so, pretty much no drugs are not alcoholics.

56:59 Drew You're fat.

57:01 Other than that, I mean, I'm pretty tolerant of most things.

57:06 Adam What do you do?

57:07 What do you mean, what do I do?

57:09 Drew How do you support yourself?

57:12 I work for the, I have two jobs, one for government and one for the nursery, a plant nursery.

57:17 Drew Are you working so hard that you don't have time to meet people?

57:20 Both my jobs are fairly social and I also, I'm still a student going to school part-time, so I see a lot of people at school.

57:28 Adam Oh, all right, so you're going, you're a student, you work at a nursery and you work for the government?

57:33 Yeah, kind of crazy.

57:35 Adam And what do you do for the government, assassin?

57:38 No, I actually work out in the woods, supervising youth crews.

57:43 Drew So again, these are not the kind of-

57:45 Adam Back to Drew's fat, you're a big gal?

57:50 I am six feet tall. And I range between like one, between 170 and 180.

57:58 Adam All right, hold on, let me do a little-

58:00 Drew You're fat.

58:01 Adam A little radio math. We rarely get the range when you're fluctuating. That's bad. All right, so let's see, six foot, 170, 180. I got five, 11, and 916, Drew, 196.

58:21 Drew I think you forgot the modifier. When they're over six feet, they actually round down.

58:25 Adam They round down.

58:26 Drew So it's actually six, one and three quarters.

58:28 Adam Six, one, 211 pounds. All right, where is she? She's calling from Oregon, boy. Shelly? Yeah. All right, well, maybe you're big and you're intimidating to the fellas. But I can tell you this right now. And I hate to sound like an a-hole, but let's just, let's Drew, stop playing on your, whatever that is. You're probably, what are you, 20 pounds? You think you're 15, 20 pounds overweight?

58:56 Caller I actually might be around maybe 10. Like I said, my degrees are in nutrition and fitness. So my BMI is actually right around 17, 17, actually I'm 17 or 18. I'm really not that much overweight.

59:17 Drew But here's what, you're a type. And when you're a type, it's sort of, yeah, it sort of narrows the field a little bit. The guy has to be into that type. And a lot of short guys are into that type.

59:31 Adam Yeti.

59:31 Drew A lot of small guys.

59:32 Adam Yeah, ironically. Funny. So here's the thing there, Shelly. It sounds like you're living your life and you're doing a lot of things.

59:42 Drew Which is great.

59:43 Adam Which is good. I can tell you, look, I'm not trying to be an idiot, and I know it sounds like, oh, you're gonna give everyone an eating disorder, but six foot and 180 means you're 15 pounds away, maybe 20 pounds away from optimal dating weight. Look at, here's the thing. Look at yourself as a fighter, okay, as a boxer. And yeah, a guy can be, fighter could be Felix Trinidad. He could be six foot and 175 and still look better than us with a shirt off, but he's not at maximum form until he gets down to 168.

1:00:21 Drew Not gonna win any fights.

1:00:22 Adam You see what I'm saying? It's gonna be considered sloppy with an extra eight or 10 pounds on him. You gotta get at sort of maximum fighting weight because the reality is, is you're 28, you're female, you've not had a long term relationship yet, you're getting close to 30 and you're looking for something, whatever, and it's time to make a move. And again, I sound like an a-hole, but you walking around at 180 saying, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm a nutritionist manager, I'm fine. Well, you think you're fine, but the fellas, the market ain't buying it.

1:00:55 Caller You know what, also, there aren't a lot of single guys going to nurseries.

1:00:58 Drew Yeah, I was going to say, and also, we're working in the woods wherever she is. She may need to meet more guys and may need to sort of put it out there a little bit, be more aggressive.

1:01:05 Adam Yeah, Shelly. How about you put it out there a little bit? Like you may need to start having your friends set you up, or are you going to junior college?

1:01:18 Caller Well, it depends on which term. Most of the time, I'm at a four-year college.

1:01:23 Adam When you're walking through it to get to the junior college?

1:01:26 Caller No.

1:01:26 Adam No, but you go to a junior college, too?

1:01:30 Caller Yeah, well, I kind of, as I run out of money, I'll go back to the two-year college for a while, and I'll get money saved up, and I go back to the four-year.

1:01:37 Adam Okay, all right, you're 28, by the way. When, eventually you graduate, right?

1:01:42 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:01:43 Adam Okay. Ideally. Okay, what are you majoring in?

1:01:46 Caller Nutrition and fitness.

1:01:48 Adam Oh, yeah, I already asked that. All right, here's the thing. You're going to have to get around people. You're going to have to get around, okay, here, okay, this is what we got to talk about now.

1:01:57 Drew Why?

1:01:59 Adam Meeting people of the opposite sex. So much of your success surrounding that is about actual, just this sort of-

1:02:08 Drew Being in the market.

1:02:08 Adam Being in that market. I mean, just being in that population. It's really, it's like, if you really look at it this way, people don't vary that much. You take a bunch of 25 year olds, they're 25. Why does this one hook up and that one doesn't hook up? Well, there's certain things people are better looking or taller or whatever, but a lot of it's just being around that group. If you got a job where you go into restaurants and scrub out flues at four in the morning.

1:02:36 Drew Or clean carpets.

1:02:37 Adam Clean carpets at restaurants.

1:02:39 Drew At three in the morning.

1:02:40 Adam At three in the morning. You're not gonna get laid.

1:02:43 Drew Sounds personal.

1:02:45 Adam No.

1:02:45 Drew Oh, yes.

1:02:45 Adam That's all right. Oh, yes. I'm over it. But no, if you're taking a bunch of kids with lording disorders out into the woods and pointing a pine cone and they're going to the nurseries and giving a bunch of a fat old broads a dwarf lemon trees and a bunch of-

1:02:59 Drew Right, and the schools that she's going to, she never established as a peer group. She's going back and forth.

1:03:03 Adam No, you need guys. You need to hang out. You need guys around you.

1:03:06 Drew Consistently.

1:03:07 Adam That's right.

1:03:08 Drew And it will happen. Unless there's something about you psychological, but you're not open to it and you're rejecting these guys for some reason. You're pushing them away, which I doubt. You don't sound like that.

1:03:16 Adam But my, walk around in 180.

1:03:21 Drew It restricts your market. It restricts the guys that are gonna be.

1:03:25 Adam I look, you know what I feel like? I'm like a realtor. I'm a realtor and I'm saying, look, you got a nice house, except for the problem is you painted a canary yellow and it's not gonna sell. We can put a coat of Swiss coffee on there. We'll get an extra 100 grand for it. The person's going, I understand it's good paint. At a certain point I'm going, okay, look, you don't want to sell the house? That's your business. I'm the realtor. I'm saying you drop 15 pounds, the house goes on the market.

1:03:52 Drew That's right.

1:03:53 Caller You're good with the analogies.

1:03:54 Adam You're really good with that.

1:03:55 Drew That's right.

1:03:55 Adam No, I mean, I am saying I'm a realtor.

1:03:59 Drew I'm physically telling her to put a coat of paint on herself. You're reflecting the reality of how people, guys function.

1:04:04 Adam You like the canary yellow? That's your business. I'm telling you as a trained realtor who's been in the association, certified now for over 17 years, which moved over 50 million dollars worth of property, commercial and otherwise, working in the San Fernando Valley and Eastern Valley areas for over a quarter century. I can tell you, I'm starting to enjoy this life, by the way, as a loving mother of three and chairman of PTA, I'm telling you that this is, I don't care what you look like. I'm not gonna bang you. I'm not hanging out with you. I'm never gonna meet you. I'm saying how to move that product. This is how. Yes?

1:04:43 Drew Paint it Swiss coffee.

1:04:44 Adam Paint it Swiss coffee. All right. Cassie?

1:04:49 Danny Pino Hey.

1:04:50 Drew Paint it Swiss coffee.

1:04:51 Adam Paint it Swiss coffee. What's up? What's happening, baby doll?

1:04:59 Danny Pino Okay, well, I've been using meth lately and I told the screener that I was doing it maybe on average two times a week, but actually that was being pretty optimistic. Now I think about it maybe three or four times a week.

1:05:14 Drew That's what most amphetamine addicts do.

1:05:15 Adam Three, four times a week.

1:05:17 Drew Yeah, most amphetamine addicts do it three or four times a week for six to 18 months before the S hits the fan. How many months? You'll start to get irritable, have trouble functioning. You'll start thinking people are talking about you and thinking about you and your family's plotting against you. And it actually damages, first it depletes certain chemicals that gives you this paranoia where you're preoccupied about friends and neighbors and coworkers and family members. And then it damages a part of the brain that's responsible for maintaining mood and establishing memory. Irreperably. Yeah, irreperably. So it's a profound addiction. You gotta get that treated, Carrie.

1:05:53 Danny Pino Okay, I'll work on that, but I also wanna know are there any mental effects too besides the later, like I mean just starting to use it because I've been freaking out a lot lately about like I'll start thinking about my boyfriend, and I'll start thinking about my future and how like this is a stupid white trash drug and I shouldn't be doing it, but I can't.

1:06:12 Drew I think I just explained, I went through a quite a lengthy discussion here which you have trouble concentrating maybe too, but that it causes paranoias.

1:06:20 Danny Pino Oh, well, I don't get paranoid at all.

1:06:24 Drew The thinking about your boyfriend is not paranoia?

1:06:26 Danny Pino Um, no, I just, I feel like-

1:06:28 Adam All right, oh, look, here's the thing. It's speed.

1:06:31 Drew It makes you irritable.

1:06:32 Adam It's horrible stuff. Why are we arguing about it?

1:06:35 Drew It can make you manatee?

1:06:36 Adam It's bad. You should try to get off it as soon as you possibly can.

1:06:40 Drew And I can tell you, it is progressive and it's gonna get a lot worse, a lot worse. And you're not gonna stop it without treatment, is the other thing.

1:06:47 Caller Yeah, how does one stop that?

1:06:48 Drew You've gotta get involved in some treatment. Cassie, 17, you're strung out. This is bad times.

1:06:53 Caller Okay.

1:06:54 Drew And you can't get over it by switching to something else. That's not-

1:06:58 Caller Oh, I don't wanna do that.

1:07:00 Drew Well, people switch to pot and alcohol. They switch to pot and alcohol and attempt to get off it sometimes. And so that's not the solution. You need to see a doctor who's used to treating a fetal addiction.

1:07:09 Adam I was smart. I just switched pot and alcohol from pot and alcohol. I didn't do the speed round.

1:07:16 Drew Just go back and forth. It's pot and alcohol. Or you used both.

1:07:19 Adam I don't really smoke pot anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me. I gotta get going with that.

1:07:25 Drew Pot eventually makes everybody, it doesn't work. Even if you're not an addict, its effects sort of don't work. Really?

1:07:32 Adam Yeah. Ricky Williams. Yeah, I'm gonna have to find out. Yeah, I always get high, but it's just like, eh, I don't like it anymore. It's okay. Someone's gonna give me some. Someone made me a pot brownie the other weekend. Yeah, that's too big a commitment. That's going camping. That ain't taking a hike, that's going camping.

1:07:51 Drew Did you do it?

1:07:52 Adam You're not coming back. No. No, I've done it enough to freak out. And here's the whole thing about, when you eat that pot brownie, that pot cookie, it's a ride that you can't get off of.

1:08:04 Drew Right, ain't going back.

1:08:05 Adam And if you don't like it, it doesn't matter. It ain't stopping the coaster and letting you off.

1:08:09 Drew Right.

1:08:09 Adam That's the problem. Whereas you smoke the weed, an hour later you'll mellow out. I'll maintain. You know what I'm saying?

1:08:17 Drew The orally-ingested pot lasts a lot longer.

1:08:20 Adam Yeah, but when it's right, oh, so right. Yeah, yeah. All right, where are we going here, Drew? Talk to Nicole?

1:08:28 Drew Sure.

1:08:29 Adam Let's talk to, what about Lauren? What about Lauren, been on hold for 80 minutes?

1:08:33 Drew Go ahead, whatever you want.

1:08:35 Adam Yeah, I feel bad for her. Lauren from the OC, and then let's talk to a Sam. Let's just, you know, we do the show every night. People sit there, they have to listen to me rambling for 90 minutes, 110 minutes. It's brutal, it's brutal. It's brutal. I look, I feel sorry for him. Lauren? 17.

1:08:52 Danny Pino Yes.

1:08:52 Adam You lied about being raped. Raped, I should say. Nobody knows the truth. Who'd you lie to?

1:09:00 Danny Pino Well, I told a guy friend of mine. And then he told my parents.

1:09:08 Adam That'd be an interesting and uncomfortable conversation. Why did he tell your parents? Not that it's a bad thing. It's just a strange thing for a teenage guy to do.

1:09:18 Danny Pino I guess, I don't know. I just wanted attention from him. I never really expected it to go as far as it went.

1:09:24 Drew And why did he tell your parents?

1:09:26 Danny Pino Are you kidding me? That would be bad. I'm like, did you know?

1:09:31 Adam Wait a minute. I know. He told your parents, right? Why did he do that?

1:09:37 Caller I don't know.

1:09:40 Danny Pino He's worried about me.

1:09:45 Adam And he, yeah. And you like this guy? He said you wanted attention from him.

1:09:49 Danny Pino Yeah.

1:09:50 Adam You do?

1:09:51 Drew And saying you'd have been raped was supposed to get attention?

1:09:54 Danny Pino I guess so. I don't know.

1:09:56 Adam Maybe I'm an old fashioned, but how about just giving him a BJ or something? You want to get attention. So you're raped.

1:10:03 Danny Pino No, I wouldn't do that.

1:10:04 Adam You wouldn't do that. But you would say you were raped?

1:10:08 Danny Pino I guess so, yeah.

1:10:09 Adam Did you tell him who raped you? Did he want to know? Did he know? Did you tell him it was someone he knew?

1:10:14 Danny Pino No, I just made up a really elaborate story about I was in the wrong place, wrong time, I had no idea who it was.

1:10:22 Drew All right, what's your question tonight?

1:10:25 Danny Pino I don't, I don't know what to do, I mean, like, I feel like I'm crazy because they sent me like this psychiatrist lady and she was really nice and she was like, oh, why would anyone lie about that sort of thing? I've only had two people who have ever lied about rape and they were mentally disturbed.

1:10:43 Adam All right, well now she's got three. And this guy, are you sure he doesn't like you, the guy who told your parents?

1:10:52 Drew Yeah, especially.

1:10:53 Adam Well, I know how do you know, though, he isn't attracted to you and then why is he so close with your parents?

1:11:00 Danny Pino He's not close with my parents. He just told them for some odd reason.

1:11:06 Adam And you're sure he doesn't like you? You've asked him out or you've dated him or?

1:11:12 Danny Pino I asked him out and like I liked him first and my best friend went out with them.

1:11:20 Adam And he has no interest in you?

1:11:22 Danny Pino No.

1:11:23 Adam I can't figure out this guy's role. And you're clearly angry.

1:11:27 Drew Angry and depressed.

1:11:28 Adam Are you angry?

1:11:28 Drew I'm depressed.

1:11:30 Adam Yeah. Super bitter, baby.

1:11:31 Drew All right. So, yeah.

1:11:34 Adam That's not going to serve you very well unless you want to be a waitress at an upscale LA bistro that I'm going to be eating at in a few years.

1:11:40 Drew Should be perfect.

1:11:42 Adam Yes. They're tossing the toot around.

1:11:44 Drew But now what your psychiatrist was using was something called therapeutic wonderment where they go, why would somebody do that? They know exactly why, but she's throwing it up to you to see if you can come up with some process on this. And she's not saying, and she didn't say, the only person ever had was mentally disturbed.

1:12:00 Adam I think my wife does that when I pee in the sink. She says, what kind of animal would pee in the sink? Saying I'm like, well, I'm not going to bite, not going for that. But I do like a monkey, raccoon, I answer.

1:12:14 Drew No, they won't. Only a male or a man would do that.

1:12:19 Adam It's my sink, right?

1:12:20 Drew Of course. Well, it's hers too, right?

1:12:23 Adam And by the way, what's going to wash the snot rocket down? That's my argument. That thing ain't going down the drain on its own, sweetie. Sure as hell don't see any mouthwash around here.

1:12:35 Drew As soon as you come over, the smell. You would pee in the sink again.

1:12:40 Adam All right, all right. Lauren, okay, you need to come clean to your therapist.

1:12:44 Drew Yeah, you need to take some, you need to get help.

1:12:46 Danny Pino I only started like twice and I kind of dropped it.

1:12:50 Drew Well, that's a mistake. Obviously you need some help.

1:12:52 Adam What's going on? Is your dad an attorney or something?

1:12:55 Danny Pino No.

1:12:56 Adam Is he work?

1:12:58 Danny Pino I work, yeah.

1:12:59 Adam Is he, is your parents, are they neglectful or something? You're not getting attention from them?

1:13:03 Caller No, I've had a great childhood.

1:13:05 Adam Sounds like it. What's your dad do?

1:13:09 Danny Pino He like owns his own business.

1:13:12 Adam Right. So number one angry answer we get from angry chicks. Yes. They never, their whole thing is about never really giving you any information. Oh, he owns his own business. Oh, so I could probably use him for something that I don't know about. What business?

1:13:29 Caller He's a contractor.

1:13:31 Adam No, that's bad. What, what's he do specifically? It's always three or four questions, you can't just say put the carpet. Yeah, all right. Metal guy, welds, that's bad.

1:13:44 Caller He doesn't weld, he pays other people to do it.

1:13:47 Adam Yeah, he did it for many years before he got his own business off the ground though. How dare you?

1:13:51 Caller Yeah, right, he can't weld.

1:13:52 Adam He can't?

1:13:53 Caller No.

1:13:54 Adam Wow, at least you're angry at this guy. Why are you so angry? What made you so angry?

1:13:59 Caller I don't know.

1:14:01 Adam Okay, well look, it really, it's gonna be a bad lie for you just walking around angry and telling people you're raped. How about you come clean your parents just so your dad doesn't have the anguish of thinking his daughter was.

1:14:12 Drew They still think you were, they know you lied, right?

1:14:15 Danny Pino No. Oh my goodness.

1:14:16 Adam No, she hasn't told anybody.

1:14:18 Danny Pino Sadly, I'm a very good actress and very good at lying.

1:14:22 Adam Right, all right, so Lauren, do me a favor. Please, please tell your father and mother that you weren't raped, because as a parent, it's gonna be a lot of sleepless nights.

1:14:35 Drew But also, the fact that you take pride in lying is a very bad sign, really bad. It speaks of some significant character problems.

1:14:43 Adam Right.

1:14:44 Drew So you need to keep seeing the psychiatrist.

1:14:46 Adam All right, who she's not seeing anymore. She only saw a couple of times because they thought she was raped.

1:14:50 Drew I know, but believe me, the therapist wants to keep seeing her.

1:14:54 Adam I know, but the therapist had a picture. Okay, start by telling your parents you weren't raped.

1:14:58 Drew And then go back.

1:14:59 Adam For them, for the love of Christ. All right, Danny Pino here. We'll take a quick break. Cold Case, eight o'clock, CBS Sunday Nights. Take a quick break, be right back after this. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Danny Pino here tonight from Cold Case, CBS, 8 o'clock, Sunday night. All right, what's going on? Who's in here? Danny Dick. Yeah, I'm not up for that, Drew.

1:15:43 Drew It's a lot of energy.

1:15:44 Adam I'm tired.

1:15:46 Drew Maybe he'll bring his band in and beat him up. Be nice.

1:15:49 Adam I like a nice Danny Pino type guest.

1:15:52 Jesus Christ in heaven!

1:15:54 Drew Where has this been?

1:15:55 Caller Send me an ounce of this stuff!

1:15:58 Adam That's two hours of me trying to deal with that and Drew sitting there like an idiot just reading his pager. Yeah, fantastic. Danny Pino, you know what he is? He's like a nice Labrador. Just wants to sit with you by the fire. You're gonna read a book. He's gonna relax. Now, if there's any rustling out in the bushes, he's up. He's at the window.

1:16:18 Drew He's ready.

1:16:19 Adam He's all action. He's not running around doing that chewing. Andy Dick's a dog that chews it, it's growing, it makes a noise, just constantly going at it.

1:16:30 I just wanted to see the wet pink stick.

1:16:35 Caller I'll definitely pee in the sink.

1:16:37 Adam Running around, smacking people around, screaming at people off mic all the time. Andy Dick, you know why he's a horrible guest? Because he's like one of these guys. He's one of these guys that comes in and goes, he'll be talking to engineer Chris, but no one knows him. Hi, how are you? Oh, good, you're different. Something's different. And you're trying to talk to him about something. He's pointing at stuff and talking to other people. You know, I swear to God, you want to know something? He's a great, he's good energy. He comes on Jimmy Kimmel a lot.

1:17:05 Drew Dear, dear, dear, dear friend.

1:17:06 Adam Dear, dear friend. One of Andy Dick's favorite all time movies is Windy City Heat.

1:17:13 Drew Oh, is that right?

1:17:14 Adam This movie we did for Comedy Central. It's brilliant. You should all see Windy City Heat. The point is, is Drew's, no, sorry. Jimmy's warmup guy was one of the stars of Windy City Heat.

1:17:25 Caller Oh, you must have heard that.

1:17:26 Adam So we have to remove him from the studio when Andy Dick comes out because Andy Dick will point and go, oh, that guy, hey, buddy, I love that movie. And of course, everyone in America has no idea who you're pointing at or what you're talking about or any reference at all.

1:17:42 Caller He's a funny man.

1:17:43 Adam He is funny, though. I will give him that. All right, we ready to rock?

1:17:47 Drew Here we go. I'm ready to rock.

1:17:50 Adam Drew, I've done the math on what you get paid every year and all that stuff. You get about $3,300 for every Here We Go. That's what really breaks down for you.

1:17:59 Drew And I get about 10 times more per word, maybe 20 times more per word.

1:18:06 Adam Oh, per syllable, per syllable. We've broken it down. We get paid the same amount. Is that right? Yeah, except for I get $4 every sentence and Drew gets $900 a syllable. And that's why the Here We Go is a big money maker for him.

1:18:22 Drew I always fall back on that.

1:18:24 Adam Yeah, here we go. Choo-choo. There's 3,300 bucks. Christina? You're 17? What's up?

1:18:34 Danny Pino Well, I was wondering if you could tell me if I have an STD or not.

1:18:39 Drew Tell us what happened.

1:18:41 Danny Pino Well, about a week ago, I lost my virginity and I was drunk and it kind of just happened. I wasn't even planning it. And well, it got a little carried away and there was a little bit of intercourse involved. And I've been like experiencing, like I went to plant my parenthood to get a morning after pill.

1:19:03 Drew Good girl.

1:19:07 Danny Pino And so I took that. And so of course I was bleeding. And so I wasn't sure if I was hurting because I have like some symptoms like kind of like burning and itching and stuff like that. I wasn't sure if it was a yeast infection or if I was like the cuts were healing and that was part of it.

1:19:28 Drew Ooh, cuts were healing.

1:19:29 Danny Pino Well, I mean, it wasn't like cuts.

1:19:31 Caller I mean, it wasn't like, you know what I mean?

1:19:34 Adam Well, like abrasions, like you were not lubricated or something or the guy was still wearing his jeans.

1:19:42 Danny Pino No.

1:19:43 Drew You did this such a long time that you hurt yourself?

1:19:46 Adam What happened?

1:19:47 Danny Pino No, it just, I don't know.

1:19:49 Caller Was it violent? Was it violent?

1:19:52 Caller No, no, not at all.

1:19:55 Drew So pull back the curtain.

1:19:56 Adam What were the cuts for? Yeah, what happened? Explain the cuts.

1:20:00 Danny Pino Oh, it's not even like a big cut. It wasn't like, it was just sore like the next day. And I was.

1:20:06 Drew Your vagina was, the outside of the vagina was sore.

1:20:08 Danny Pino Yeah. And I like.

1:20:10 Drew Were there sores there or anything?

1:20:12 Danny Pino No, I looked with a mirror and everything and I didn't see anything. I can't see anything now. But I can feel.

1:20:17 Adam I actually had to do that once when I had that car bunkled down there.

1:20:20 Drew You did surgery with the beard though.

1:20:21 Adam Well, hang on there.

1:20:23 Drew You destroyed the beard too, didn't you?

1:20:24 Adam It's in the Smithsonian.

1:20:26 Drew You presented it. You produced onto the beard.

1:20:28 Adam No, I did not. I did not.

1:20:31 Drew Where did all that stuff go?

1:20:32 Adam In my bungalow.

1:20:34 Drew No, you said there was a huge, when you.

1:20:38 Adam There was a release. I had a carbuncle on my ass and I popped it, but it didn't go flying out. It was like a seagull crap on my ass. Disgusting. It didn't go anywhere.

1:20:49 Drew Well, it can come out under pressure sometimes.

1:20:51 Adam It can, but it didn't.

1:20:54 Drew Christina, look, a couple of things here. Thank God you went and got that morning out feel. That was a good move. Yes, you can just have external vaginal irritation after intercourse and that can cause all kinds of funny symptoms and burning when you urinate, but you can also get a urinary tract infection. So you ought to see a doctor about that because that infection can be kind of serious sometimes and get up into the kidneys. So if you have burning when you pee after intercourse, it's basically a urinary tract infection until proven otherwise. If you also have sores or any sort of discharge, that could be an STD. So you really need to go back to Planned Parenthood and get an exam.

1:21:27 Adam Who is this guy, by the way?

1:21:29 Danny Pino I don't want to say anything.

1:21:32 Adam Well, do you like him?

1:21:34 Danny Pino Well, it's not like I like him, but I'm like really attracted to him kind of, but it's not like a big deal at all. Like it's nothing more than friends.

1:21:43 Adam Well, I don't understand. Oh, he doesn't like you.

1:21:45 Drew Right.

1:21:46 Danny Pino Oh, well, no, I don't know. It's just like a physical thing. Like we both.

1:21:52 Drew Yeah, but if he came to you and said, I want to be your boyfriend, let's keep dating.

1:21:55 Danny Pino No, no, no, it's because he had a girlfriend for a while and they just broke up.

1:21:59 Drew So it's just kind of like.

1:22:01 Adam Well, look, had a girlfriend and just broke up is great news for someone who's into somebody else.

1:22:07 Danny Pino No, it's not like I like took the advantage. We saw.

1:22:10 Adam I'm not saying that. Here's here's what we're saying. You you had sex with this guy, you're inebriated, but you had sex with the guy. You're attracted to him. He's a friend of yours. We think you like him.

1:22:24 Danny Pino It's not.

1:22:25 Adam You're trying to.

1:22:26 Drew Yeah, you're trying to talk yourself out of it.

1:22:28 Adam Talk us and yourself out of it. We're not buying it.

1:22:31 Danny Pino No, I really don't.

1:22:35 Adam Well, he's hot, he's nice, and you're having sex with him, but you're not really into him.

1:22:39 Danny Pino No, it was just a one-time thing. I know it's probably not going to happen again.

1:22:42 Adam I understand, but why, why, why? Unless you know he doesn't like you.

1:22:47 Drew Unless you know he doesn't want to have it again. Why wouldn't you want to have it again? You're attracted to him. You like him. What's the matter with you?

1:22:54 Caller Well, I haven't talked to him since.

1:22:56 Adam No, he hasn't talked to you since.

1:22:57 Drew Why wouldn't you want it to be that way? Forget what he wants.

1:23:00 Adam All right, we have the.

1:23:01 Drew Here's why we're yelling, Danny. They're afraid to assert what they want.

1:23:04 Adam Here's what it is. She is interested in him as whatever he's up for, whatever, boyfriend, husband, whatever.

1:23:14 Drew She just accepts the one night stand because she thinks that's all she's gonna get.

1:23:17 Adam He's not into it. She doesn't want to be. Yeah, it's a rebound for him. She doesn't want to be disappointed. So each time we ask her how does she feel about him, she essentially answers how he feels about it.

1:23:30 Drew What he's up for.

1:23:31 Adam What he's up for, which is what she says she's up for, which isn't true. She says, you know, and by the way, I don't know when guys were able to convince women that that to set their expectation level exactly where mine is. Like here's the thing, I really want to bang the bejesus out of you three or four times a month, but I want no strings attached. What do you think? And all of a sudden they're like, yes, I just want to have penetration with you. No strings attached. May we come to your house? How about you put your dork through the mail slot and I perform fellatio on it from the porch, never entering the home. Would you like me to bring over a pizza?

1:24:13 Drew They've all become rosy from the Jetsons.

1:24:15 Caller Well, isn't this sort of defensive? It's sort of a way to protect yourself.

1:24:19 Drew Yes, but it's ridiculous.

1:24:20 Adam Meanwhile, you're not protecting yourself. You're getting in deeper because you're being next to the person that you're falling in love with and you're having physical relations with them, which is drawing yourself in. Christina?

1:24:32 Danny Pino Yes.

1:24:33 Drew All right.

1:24:34 Adam What do you think of what we just said?

1:24:36 Danny Pino I think you guys make a lot of sense, but that's not how I feel. I listen to you guys all the time. I respect everything you say because it makes a lot of sense. All right. But it's not like that. I really, I'm attracted to him. I think he's a great person all around, but it's not like I would want to be with him. Why not? I'm not, because I'm not ready for that.

1:24:59 Drew That's a different answer. That's fine. I can accept that.

1:25:02 Adam And do you think he, and then the question is, what about him?

1:25:06 Danny Pino Well, I know he wouldn't be either, but it's not because...

1:25:09 Adam He doesn't want to be that way either?

1:25:11 Danny Pino Yeah. He just got a long relationship and...

1:25:14 Drew Maybe he does want to be alone with you.

1:25:15 Adam How do you know he doesn't want to be with you that way?

1:25:19 Danny Pino Because I can tell. I know.

1:25:21 Adam All right. That's why you set your gauge to his gauge for the disappointment thing. Maybe you don't even know it anymore. I know I sound like a pompous a-hole, but the fact that both of you who are young and attractive and really dig each other's human beings and are sexually attracted to each other, and neither one of you wants a relationship, I find hard to believe. I'm going to just err on the more traditional side, which is you would like that... If he asked you out, you would like to go out with him. You're not admitting it to us and yourself. No.

1:25:51 Danny Pino If he did, I would go out on a date with him, but it wouldn't be like serious, like a serious thing.

1:25:57 Drew Why not?

1:25:58 Danny Pino Because I'm going to be going to college and it's just a problem waiting to happen.

1:26:04 Drew Where are you going to college? But it's a half hour from where you live.

1:26:11 Adam You live on Oceanside. And where are you going? San Diego University? San Diego or San Diego State? San Diego State. Uh-oh. Oh, okay, that's not even going to college. That's just going.

1:26:23 Drew Yeah, but it should be plenty busy there.

1:26:24 Adam That's called a beer run. That's not going to college. I'm making a beer run. I'm going to be on a beer run for four years. You guys need anything? Give me some Twizzlers and some of that turkey jerky. Not the hot this time. The traditional. The teriyaki? That really should be known. It's a four-year beer run. That's what San Diego State is. Well, what did I say, four years, six-year beer run, but you come back with four years' worth of beer. That's how it works. You don't come back with six years' worth of beer.

1:26:51 Drew Let's take a break.

1:26:51 Adam Let's get it on.

1:26:52 Drew Let's break it down.

1:26:53 Adam Let's go. Let's go. Let's get a hand in.

1:26:55 Drew Break time.

1:26:56 Adam Don't sit on your helmets, gentlemen. It's not a chair. Helmets not a chair. Grab it in. Use that term loosely, gentlemen. Let's take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Danny Pino in here. CBS, everyone, Cold Case, eight o'clock, Sunday nights. All right, what are we doing? We getting to the phones? Yeah. We're gonna rock and roll. Let's do it. Let's talk to Nicole, who's 22. Nicole?

1:27:53 Danny Pino Yes?

1:27:54 Adam What's up?

1:27:55 Danny Pino Hey, I'm 22, and I met this guy, or I met this guy seven years ago, like when I was in high school, or like when I was 15. And we never had anything together. We've never like, we slept in the same bed for like seven years, like, you know, we slept in the same bed, but never did anything for like seven years.

1:28:19 Drew That's her step brother.

1:28:20 Adam Hello?

1:28:20 Danny Pino Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And-

1:28:22 Adam Now Drew's not listening. She's such a, you know, okay, keep going.

1:28:28 Drew I don't get this. She said she's met a guy in high school.

1:28:32 Danny Pino Like, yeah, basically like when I was 15, I met him and for seven years, like we slept, like we would sleep together like in the same bed and we wouldn't do anything, like-

1:28:41 Drew What do you mean for seven years? What does that mean?

1:28:43 Danny Pino I've known him for seven years. And like we would like spend the night at each other's houses and like we would sleep in the same bed, like, but not do anything. I've never like kissed him and then like-

1:28:53 Drew And your parents were okay with you guys sleeping in the same bed?

1:28:55 Danny Pino Yeah, they were fine. Like, we had never did anything.

1:28:59 Caller Like, we were just friends.

1:29:01 Drew Well, but they sleep in the bed with you?

1:29:03 Danny Pino No, I mean, because they just knew.

1:29:07 Caller Your parents are very trusted.

1:29:08 Drew Well, the fact that he didn't is not a good sign for you if you're interested in him.

1:29:12 Danny Pino No, no, no, no. So like, not like, okay, two years ago, we like lost in touch with each other. And like, just recently, like, okay, like I had a baby and like, I just like started looking for him just recently. Like, and I came, like I found him like out of nowhere. Like, he just appeared like a bar that I went to and-

1:29:31 Adam Hold on, hold on.

1:29:33 Drew This bar that you went to with your own baby.

1:29:38 Adam You met him when you were 15. You slept in the, you're 22 now.

1:29:43 Caller Yes.

1:29:43 Adam You slept in the same bed off and on for seven years, but you lost touch two years ago.

1:29:49 Caller Well, yeah.

1:29:51 Drew Five years except for the same-

1:29:52 Danny Pino Five years, so it's like five years and then-

1:29:54 Drew How often would you do that, by the way, every weekend?

1:29:57 Danny Pino I don't know, like sometimes I'd be at his house for like a week and like we would just like go places together and yeah, we were kind of-

1:30:05 Caller So you guys like best friends? Is that what it was?

1:30:07 Danny Pino Yeah, kind of, yeah, like we were best friends.

1:30:09 Adam How old is he, your age?

1:30:11 Caller Yeah, he's my age.

1:30:13 Danny Pino And just like recently, like we like came in contact with each other and we had sex and like- Yeah, and then like-

1:30:22 Drew The ultimate contact.

1:30:28 Danny Pino Okay, and so like after that, like, I don't know, he kind of like hasn't really called, well, he called me, but like I haven't called him back, but like he didn't call for like a whole week and I don't know, I wasn't, I don't know. I feel like a lot of feelings and-

1:30:45 Adam Sure.

1:30:46 Danny Pino Like he's engaged, like, so I don't know, like he says that he's engaged, but then like we had sex and then like he didn't call and then-

1:30:54 Drew Well, his having sex doesn't mean anything.

1:30:57 Adam By the way, he didn't call. Yeah, he's engaged. Right. Secondly, can you imagine the kind of love you'd have built up after sleeping five years in a bed with a woman and not doing a thing and then, true, as a man of passion, can you imagine the tidal wave of semen that would come out of that motel room when you open the door, just washed down into the street, cars piling on top of you, guys talking, phone booth being knocked over, dragged out, semis jackknifing, hitting it, yes?

1:31:29 Drew Yes.

1:31:30 Adam Tofum balls being knocked over, five years of sleeping in a bed, and by the way, okay, I can't figure this cat out. Okay, I don't know if Nicole had some sort of head trauma or something, I can't figure her out, I can't figure her parents out. So, this guy was 16 and she was 16, or they're both 15 and are sleeping in the same bed together. By the way, you sleep in the same bed at 15 with a beanbag chair, you rape it.

1:31:57 Drew A male.

1:31:57 Adam At four in the morning. Absolutely. You get a boner and that's it.

1:32:00 Drew Absolutely.

1:32:00 Adam Dog, Raggedy Andy, whatever's in there, it's getting it, right?

1:32:05 Drew Raggedy Andy.

1:32:05 Adam Hot wheel track you would have sex with. You'd figure out a way to penetrate a hot wheel track.

1:32:10 Drew That is the seven day old male.

1:32:11 Adam Whatever was in your bed when you got that boner and you're 15, right? Yes. So the fact that he didn't do anything with her is, it's bizarre, but it's like makes me think, well, now my natural assumption was, well, he was gay and he wanted a sort of companion and maybe the parents sort of felt.

1:32:27 Drew Or maybe he had delayed sexual development or something and hadn't really come online yet with the hormones.

1:32:31 Adam Right, now he's engaged.

1:32:34 Drew Now he shows up and has sex with her.

1:32:36 Adam Nicole's sort of been looking for him for a few years. I mean, you're always interested in the guy, right, Nicole? You wouldn't have been over at his house.

1:32:44 Danny Pino Yeah, true, like, I mean, I don't know, like, when we were growing up, like, I wasn't really, like, attracted to him, like, he was just like my friend, like, he was shorter than me and like, but then, like, he got taller than me and he just all of a sudden, like, cute.

1:33:00 Adam How do you know you didn't get shorter? You may have shrunk.

1:33:03 Caller No, man, I got taller.

1:33:04 Drew I think his pubertal growth perjury.

1:33:06 Adam Hey, Nicole, here's, all right, let me just tell you a few things, just running out of time. A, no more goddamn kids, please.

1:33:13 Danny Pino No, for sure, for sure.

1:33:14 Caller I'm not ever like having any more kids.

1:33:16 Caller It was the worst experience of my life.

1:33:18 Danny Pino But like, I love my son, but.

1:33:19 Adam Sure. Oh, he's gonna be dynamite. Well, let's all close our eyes and picture him. Yeah, wear a jumpsuit, the sleeves cut off. Lighten a cigarette with a settling torch. Yeah, this would be great. Got just picture in this guy. Four stage mullet. Oh, no, he's gonna be the president.

1:33:39 Drew Four stage mullet. But who is the dad of this kid?

1:33:43 Caller His name is Ronnie.

1:33:48 Adam Ronnie, let me tell you.

1:33:49 Drew Who is he to you? Who is he to you, the father?

1:33:53 Danny Pino Well, he is like my, I met him through my friend and it's his brother.

1:33:58 Adam All right, is he paying? Is he helping to pay for your son?

1:34:02 Danny Pino Well, of course, like, yeah.

1:34:04 Adam Okay, so no more kids. Secondly, this guy is just a memory. Thirdly, you focus on being a good mother, which probably doesn't mean hanging out at bars. Thirdly, you find a good guy who's suitable, who's gonna treat you right and be a good father to your young son so he doesn't stab Drew's kids. Forget about this guy.

1:34:23 Drew This guy's getting married to somebody else. Here we go.

1:34:25 Adam All right, all right. Well, that's mommy. That's mama, everybody. Take a quick break, be right back after this.

1:34:31 Caller All right, guys, bottom line, here's the deal.

1:34:34 Caller Looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

1:34:37 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:34:38 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:34:39 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:34:46 Caller Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:34:47 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191. This hour brought you apart by acts.

1:34:55 Caller Experience the acts effect.

1:35:01 Adam Well, that's the show. Where'd the time go? Danny, a pleasure, my friend.

1:35:05 Caller Thank you for having me.

1:35:07 Adam Come back anytime you like. Cold Case, CBS, Tuesday, I'm sorry, Sunday nights, eight o'clock, y'all. Good times, anytime you got something to plug, you come by, give it a plug.

1:35:18 Caller Well, I will, thank you very much for having me again.

1:35:20 Adam Continued success and say hi to all the folks in the former hood. So, Andy Dick coming in here tomorrow night. I'm going to get like a flu shot and get about 14 hours of sleep tonight. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. You got some 19 year old model who's like, hmm.

1:35:41 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, November 2, 2004