Episode 1000653273906

12:02 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

12:06 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

12:09 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised.

12:15 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

12:22 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

12:25 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist, Cary Elwes here tonight. I sort of did that right. Leigh Whannell. Wait, Leigh Whannell?

12:41 Guest Almost.

12:41 Drew Whannell. Whannell?

12:44 Adam No, not Whannell.

12:46 Guest Whannell. It is. It's literally...

12:47 Adam Oh, you do hit the N.

12:49 Guest How I would say it is there's only Whannell in Leigh.

12:52 Adam Right. I'd say, let me hear you say your last name. Whannell. Oh, there's only Whannell. That's it. Whannell. Leigh Whannell. Yeah. I'm going to go ahead. Yeah.

13:01 Drew It's like Whannell down there.

13:03 Adam All right. That's what I'm going to do. Fantabulous. I don't know why I bother writing because I can't read. It's really like buying a set of tires. We don't have a car.

13:14 Drew You could just put an L down there.

13:16 Guest That's half price education. It was like we can teach you to either read or write.

13:19 Adam Yeah.

13:20 Guest And you chose reading.

13:21 Adam I chose ceramics class. Leigh is from Australia, by the way. And Cary, of course, is from England. Good to see you guys. The movie Saw, by the way, S-A-W like Saw and Bones.

13:36 Drew Chainsaw.

13:37 Adam And it's coming out this Friday. And it seems scary. I'm prepared to be scared. Leigh, you co-wrote it, right? And starring in it as well.

13:47 Guest I share the story credit with James Whan who directed the film, a good friend of mine, also from Australia. But I actually wrote the screenplay all by my lonesome. Which is good for an actor.

13:59 Adam Yeah. Well, maybe you're a horrible actor.

14:02 Guest You've seen the film?

14:07 Adam Because I've got to say, when I...

14:09 Guest He wrote the best dialogue for himself.

14:10 Guest Yeah, exactly.

14:11 Adam I saw one of my favorite movies is Pulp Fiction. Pulp Fiction, sorry.

14:18 Guest Both of them.

14:18 Adam There we go. Pulp Fiction, and we saw it in a screening before it ever came out. And we had no idea who anybody was. And we saw the movie. And me and Jimmy saw the movie. We said, wow, that's a great movie. Except for that one guy was a bad actor. And the one guy was the guy who wrote it. Other than that, it was like everyone is fantastic. Except for that one guy. Wonder how he got it.

14:42 Guest Well, you know.

14:43 Adam But no, that's not what's going to happen with Saw. That's what I'm saying.

14:47 Guest No, this guy did a great writing job on the script.

14:50 Adam All right. Well, give us the thumbnail sketch of the movie.

14:56 Guest The pitch.

14:57 Adam Yeah, give us the pitch.

14:59 Guest Two strangers awaken in a dark room, essentially. They can't see anything, which is always scary. They manage to turn on the lights. And my character, Adam, finds myself staring at Cary's character, Dr. Gordon, and we're two men who are chained up at opposite ends of this kind of grimy industrial bathroom.

15:18 Drew You don't know why you're there?

15:19 Guest We don't know why we're there. We don't know how we got there. And it all sort of goes from there.

15:24 Drew Do you know who you are?

15:25 Guest Yeah, we start to figure out that we've been put there by a serial killer who calls himself Jigsaw, who basically just wants to torture us.

15:31 Drew Right. And why don't you remember how you got there and all that? He drugged us. The drugs.

15:36 Guest We've woken up in this room, and in fact, his whole sort of modus operandi is to put people into these situations and force them to play a game, force them to choose to either hurt themselves or hurt someone else to stay alive. In this particular case, Cary's character has to kill my character.

15:53 Guest Yeah, it's a very, very suspenseful film and very taut.

15:57 Adam And you break out of the dungeon.

15:59 Guest I can tell you, you have to see it. There's a very surprise ending. You got to see it. It's a very, very seriously dark psychological thriller. I mean, very, very graphic.

16:06 Adam Well, that's it. I'm seeing it. Except for I'm not going to theaters because I think I might have something here. Or is this a DVD? Is this a DVD CD?

16:14 Guest You thought it was a bootleg copy from Barley.

16:18 Adam I got all excited. This is it. So there's a soundtrack that in companies.

16:23 Guest There is. We were lucky enough to have Mr. Charlie Klauser, who is one fifth, one sixth of Nine Inch Nails. And he did the music. That's the thing that's great about LA. We said to the producers, we want kind of a Nine Inch Nails-y type sound. And they said, well, why not get the guy from Nine Inch Nails? Yeah.

16:42 Adam Yeah. That's what they do when they cast people. They go, we want a Dr. Drew type. And then Dr. Drew says, what about me? And they say, no, no. All right. All right. So the movie is coming out this Friday. The Red Sox have finally won. So everyone, please shut the f up about it.

17:02 Drew Please.

17:05 Adam With your socks.

17:06 Drew I've had such an ass full of you Sox fans.

17:08 Adam Oh, please, please do something. You know what? And I predict a huge emotional letdown for the city of Boston. People don't realize what it's like. It gives them something, something to do. It really does. Yeah. It really gives them. It gives them something to think about, something to get up in the morning.

17:26 Guest Is that the sound of burning?

17:26 Adam Yeah. Yeah. But that's that's wood burning.

17:30 Guest We need more car metal upholstery.

17:33 Guest That's where the BBC reporter comes in and goes burning, looting the streets of Boston overrun by rioters. Once again, the fruit of peace has become the jam of war. I must say, MacRam, BBC News as Boston burns.

17:48 Adam I love that. That is awesome.

17:52 Guest We'll get later on in the show, Cary, we'll be bringing on some guests, some friend of his, maybe Michael Caine will come on.

17:59 We'll get later on in the show.

18:00 Guest You're going to have to stay with us.

18:02 Adam Cary, you're doing Michael Caine.

18:04 Guest I'm known to do Michael Caine.

18:06 From time to time, you know what I mean?

18:10 Adam There's a guy who's been in like 750 movies.

18:13 Guest Didn't you have a story about him, the way he accepts the world?

18:16 Guest One time his agent called him and said, hey Michael, I have a script for you. Michael said, oh yeah, what's it about? And the agent said, well, it's about a million dollars. And Michael went, right, I'll do it.

18:30 Adam Yeah, finally we got somebody on this show that's got a little life in them, Drew. Normally, don't worry, don't worry. We got the like, normally, let me see what the show is. Normally it's like the bass player from Slipknot. It's like, hey, hey, hey, yeah, talking to the mic. Over here, hey, over here, Drew, administer CPR, go get the crash card or something. I think it's hard to stop again. Finally, we got some, oh, we got the BBC reporter, we got Michael Caine.

18:56 Drew Michael Caine of the studio.

18:57 Adam Awesome. Actually, can you get Michael Caine on the show? All right, let's move forward here, Drew. You ready? All right, so, calls come in, you jump in, you say whatever you want. What's up? You're 23.

19:15 Caller What's up, guys? Anyway. Hi. Okay, I have a question regarding my boyfriend and his testicle. You know, you kind of inspect your significant other's body when you're just laying there naked. And I started noticing...

19:34 Drew That stops at a certain point, too.

19:35 Adam Yeah.

19:36 Caller What was that?

19:37 Adam Yeah, that stops after a while.

19:39 Caller Oh, yeah, well, it's still interesting to me.

19:41 Adam No, I mean, Drew, your wife walked past you, you have a woodpecker on your head. You're going at your brain, she just keeps walking. Probably put something down so it didn't mess up the sheets. Don't get any blood or fecal matter on the sheets and then just keep walking.

19:59 Drew What's the question?

20:00 Caller So, I noticed that one of his testicles was a little bit larger than the other. That wasn't the only thing. It had, like... It was a little lumpy on one side, like his left testicle is a little lumpy.

20:12 Drew Yeah, those are usually varicoseals or cystoseals. Those aren't anything to worry about. As long as it's not rock hard. If it's smooth and rubbery, you're fine. But if it's something like a very irregular surface, like a pebble, then you ought to have that looked into.

20:26 Caller Yeah, it looks like almost like cellulite growing on...

20:30 Drew How would you say cellulite on a scrotum?

20:36 Guest And by the way, is he leaning to one side?

20:42 Drew It's common for them to be bigger, on a different angle, lower than the other, and it's even common for there to be these cysts inside, these varicoseals or justiceals. But again, if they're smooth and rubbery, relax. So what, it will feel pebbly? It will feel like a surface like this and something that's like a rock, like a pebble.

20:59 Adam 20 years in radio, you still do this? 20 years in radio, he still does hand signals and shows pictures and has a dry erase board and stuff. You actually say this.

21:12 Drew I said this.

21:13 Adam You said this. And would anyone like to call, someone call in and guess what this is. That would be an interesting game. What do you think this is?

21:21 Drew Perfect.

21:21 Adam They're never going to guess what you touch.

21:24 Drew Okay.

21:24 Guest More important I think is the ball inspection technique.

21:28 Adam How do you do that?

21:28 Guest More damage could be done.

21:30 Adam During the technique?

21:31 Guest During the inspection, if it's not.

21:33 Adam Well that's why.

21:34 Drew It's done with a hammer.

21:37 Adam How do you do it, Drew?

21:38 Drew How do you do it?

21:39 My flashlight technique?

21:41 Guest If it's a bevel, don't hit it with a hammer.

21:43 Drew Mostly it's a squeezing, it seems.

21:46 Adam And what are you trying to feel?

21:48 Drew The smoothies, feel the epithetimus. You feel the contour of the testicle.

21:51 Guest Not too hard.

21:52 Drew Scramatic cord.

21:53 Adam How often should a guy do that?

21:56 Drew Once a year.

21:57 Adam Once a year?

21:57 Guest So I'm overcompensated.

22:00 Adam Every time I take a shower. Yeah, well, look, you're allowed to like lather yourself up with soap and do that kind of stuff.

22:09 Drew That's called masturbation.

22:11 Adam Nick?

22:12 Yeah.

22:13 Adam 22? Your girlfriend took the morning after pill.

22:18 Yes.

22:19 Adam Then had sex, what?

22:22 Drew Two days later?

22:22 Adam Two days later?

22:27 We had sex Friday with condom. It broke. So we went to get the morning after pill. It's two pills. I come to find out.

22:38 Drew She took one pill. Go ahead.

22:39 And then on Saturday evening, we ended up having unprotected sex. And then she took the other pill.

22:46 Drew Why didn't you take it? Wait, wait, wait. When did you take the first one? Saturday morning?

22:50 Saturday sometime during the day.

22:52 Drew I see. And then she took the second one in the evening.

22:54 Yeah. And between the two, we had unprotected sex. I was wondering if that decreases the chances, or if that increases the chance of her getting pregnant. And I was wondering what's supposed to be happening is she read the thing on the website that she was supposed to get her period or something within a couple days.

23:15 Drew Not necessarily. But it will screw up her period for a few months. But I think she should be fine. Look, there's nothing more you can do.

23:24 Adam Let's put it that way. So you take one pill one day.

23:27 Drew And then 12 hours later, you take the second dose.

23:29 Adam And you saw fit to have unprotected sex in between. But by the way, that's what you do when you're 22.

23:33 Drew Right. I know.

23:34 Adam So you had unprotected sex. Couldn't have made it a day with just a BJ. Couldn't have made it one day.

23:41 Drew For condom?

23:41 Adam Not one day.

23:42 I know.

23:44 Adam Yeah.

23:46 Drew Fair enough.

23:46 Adam And let me just ask you something, Nick, because I really have this theory that people start with the best of intentions, which is we're just going to screw around a little bit here, but no unprotected sex. But then once the ball gets rolling, so to speak, it's hard to stop.

24:02 Drew Right?

24:03 You have hit the nail around the head, sir. Right.

24:05 Adam You're like, look, just a little heavy petting, maybe a little third base action, but that's where it ends. And then somewhere that chainsaw just gets ripped in you.

24:16 Guest That's when the old classic, I'll pull out before it happens.

24:19 Adam Right, yeah.

24:20 Guest That's that old chess game.

24:22 Adam Yeah, it's usually with our listeners, our callers, it's like this. Don't worry, baby, I'm going to pull out before it happens. All right, I got to eat. What's going on? Clean up. I'm going to go do a pose down in the bathroom.

24:37 Drew In the country where you guys come from.

24:39 Adam Well, they're different ones.

24:40 Drew I know. Emergency contraception, post-coital contraception. They have no problem over the counter, no big deal. Commonly used. No big deal. Adam, I rest my case.

24:49 Adam I know.

24:49 Drew What's the deal here? What's the problem?

24:52 Adam What is the problem here?

24:53 Drew What is the problem?

24:54 Adam Don't get Drew fired up. But yes, we're angered at it. This country is such a paradox, you know? I mean, we lead the world in pornography and high cholesterol food and all kinds of great things that make this country go crazy.

25:09 Guest I believe Norway is giving you a good run for your money. Oh, really?

25:13 Adam Oh, I got to get out there. Change my travel plan. Yeah, Norway is great, but I mean, we burn, we have SUVs that get like zero miles to the gallon and actually just, actually run off pornography. Oh, that'd be good, an SUV that ran off pornography. The point is, what we aren't very progressive in is this morning after pill. And we claim to hate abortion. Oh, we got to stop abortion. But the same loud mouths that are against abortion are against this pill, which leads me to believe that they're not actually against abortion. They're just sort of pro blowing their trap off, really. They're pro blowhard, they're pro letter writing, they're pro Bible, and they can't stand the idea that people are getting laid and not being punished for it because they didn't get laid in high school, they didn't get laid in college if they do have any college under their belt. And now they're angry that the beautiful people get to get laid and there's no strings attached. And they don't look at that. But meanwhile, then that's fine. Like, hey, if that's your opinion, like, hey, I'm angry or I'm jealous or I'm freaked out that you guys are getting laid, I'm not, just say it. But instead they say we're against abortion, good, here's a magic pill that's going to cut it in half or make it go away. Oh no, we're against that too. Hypocrites.

26:27 Guest Well, I'm living proof that you cannot get laid in high school and come and be fine. Yeah.

26:31 Drew And be pro morning after pill.

26:33 Guest Yeah. You can be both.

26:34 Adam And also make a nice comeback, I'm guessing, as an adult with the acting and the writing and the movie stuff.

26:40 Drew Oh yeah.

26:41 Guest Vengeance will be mine.

26:42 Adam It's payback time, ladies.

26:44 Caller Oh, you girls.

26:45 Guest I hope they're listening.

26:46 Caller Leigh's crying.

26:47 Guest All the way over from Australia.

26:49 Caller So you wouldn't go to the prom with me. Right.

26:56 Guest You know what? He's close to the truth there.

26:58 Guest No, I know.

27:00 Adam I know how it goes.

27:01 Guest Success is the best revenge, right?

27:02 Adam You know what you want? You know who you want your daughter dating? A guy who got a ton of action in high school is a little burnt out on it by the time he gets to her.

27:10 Guest It's boring.

27:11 Adam Not a guy who's been without and is hungry. You don't want a guy with the eye of the tiger on top of you.

27:16 Guest Every single guy that got a ton of action in high school is now living in a trailer, punching out job as a bouncer.

27:22 Adam Still had a better life than us. He still traded his life. Just for the eight months he had in high school, still best to throw it all away. If we had it all to do again, he'd still get laid in high school.

27:32 Guest Getting any action in high school is the greatest motivational thing in the world. Looking from Bill Gates to any...

27:40 Adam Well now wait a minute, he was quite the man about campus. Nailed everybody on the cheerleading team, the drill squad. Yeah, of course, it motivates you. And there's this weird, it's an interesting question because how much, like you have two sons Drew. Now you don't want them to go without completely or they could get a little angry, they could become like Lee, they could become, you know, sort of, or the guys who could...

28:07 Drew Revenge stuff.

28:07 Adam Cary and Lee. Yeah, you become a serial killer, whatever. On the other hand, guys having too much fun, getting too much action, he gets soft. You want to be a little bit hungry.

28:17 Drew Yeah, get something out of the system and then... Right.

28:20 Adam You may have to do that yourself, Drew.

28:22 Drew No.

28:23 Adam As a doctor, I think it would be alright.

28:27 Drew It's not just an extraction.

28:29 Adam It's nothing sexual about it. It's purely a procedure. All right.

28:33 Guest Scientific.

28:34 Adam Yeah.

28:35 Guest So I need to do some experimentation.

28:37 Adam Here's what you want, then. I think you want your boy to have a little tough 9th and 10th grade, or grade 9 and grade 10, as you guys may know. And then we can't just agree on that internationally, by the way, whether it's 10th grade or grade 10. Shouldn't we just go ahead and decide on that? Yeah, we're so close. With Canada, it's like grade 9, and here it's a 10th grade or that 9th grade. Let's just go ahead and flip a coin and decide what we're going to call it, and then it'll be that way for the world.

29:03 Guest In Australia, it's year 10.

29:04 Adam Oh, it's year 10?

29:05 Guest You say year 9, year 8.

29:06 Adam Oh, really? Uh-oh.

29:08 Guest But then.

29:09 Adam Now. Now, I'm sorry, but you're not in the running. Here's what you need to do, Australia.

29:15 Guest We did bring Yahoo! Serious to the world so no one can trust us.

29:18 Adam And Jaco.

29:19 Guest All right.

29:21 Adam The point is, no one knows who that guy is anymore.

29:24 Guest He's the greatest battery salesman in the world.

29:25 Adam I know. Who's Jaco?

29:27 Guest He sold Energizer Batteries. He was a former Geelong football player.

29:31 Adam He was a big, burly bald guy who had somehow, I got to believe, somehow men at work paved the way for Jaco. They really did. There was just, and maybe Olivia Newton John, there was a weird, we became obsessed with Australia for like 10 minutes in 1983 and then we sort of burnt out on them real quick.

29:53 Guest We still haven't recovered. We have a national day of mourning.

29:57 Guest Yahoo! Sirius took care of it.

29:59 Adam It is really, Australia was like, it's like when you move and you discover a restaurant nearby, oh, greatest dry food ever, and you eat it five nights a week for three months and then that's it. Now, then it's 10 years of just driving past it. That's what we're doing with Australia now.

30:13 Drew We're done. We still got the Crocodile Hunter.

30:14 Guest Crocodile Dundee, remember him?

30:16 Drew I think he's the one that paved the way for Jaco.

30:18 Adam No, because Jaco was around before him. Drew, don't give me the lineage of Jaco.

30:26 Drew I remember Jaco.

30:28 Adam Let me show you the chart I got in the car, please.

30:31 Guest We don't want you guys to know, we're whispering down there going, be quiet, the Americans will hear us and realize we're all having sex and the morning after pill is freely available.

30:40 Adam I know, you guys. You're lucky you're so far away because we're like this close to coming over there, we really are because everybody who goes over there is like, oh my God, it's amazing, you have to go, it's just, you have to go, but it's 15 hours on the plane.

30:55 Drew 21 or something.

30:57 Adam What is it? What is it?

30:58 Guest From LA, it's 16 hours.

31:01 Adam 16 hours, and it's sort of-

31:03 Drew Isn't there a layover you have to take that was there on the way you can go?

31:05 Guest No, you can take it straight.

31:06 Guest Yeah, you can stop in New Zealand, though.

31:07 Drew Take it straight in.

31:08 Adam But see, that's the whole thing, it's like, everyone says you have to go, you have to go, you have to go. But then you wait 16 hours against like literally an hour and 45 minutes to some spot in Mexico on the Yucatan or on the peninsula or something, and it's like, you know, look, I could see if it was 16 hours versus like 12 hours or nine hours or something, but literally two hours we can get somewhere in Mexico, get ourselves some cheap food, and we're going to be drunk either way. We're not going to remember what's going on. All we know is we've almost drowned twice, but we're loaded. Right. All right. So we got it. I want to go to the Great Barrier Reef.

31:42 Drew I know.

31:44 Adam Because we've heard there. That's where they have the giant clams, the 500 pound clams.

31:50 Guest That's the bar and by hotel.

31:52 Drew No, no, no. The giant, the giant, giant clams. We were obsessed with those here, those big scalloped lips.

31:57 Guest Does this have anything to do with the show? Wait, is this on?

32:00 Caller It should.

32:02 Adam No, they think it's a double entendre. We're actually interested in the giant clams. We're not talking about a fat broad.

32:08 Guest I think it's just a ruse.

32:10 Adam No, no, no.

32:12 Drew We looked it up on the web one night.

32:13 Adam Wow. Hell of a nauseous business.

32:15 Drew Up to 500 pounds.

32:16 Guest I was at the Great Barrier Reef trying to convince some British backpackers that I was the hard man of Australia. I was the jacko. Oh, really? Of this particular boat and I was like, being an Australian is a daily struggle to survive. Everything here will kill you from jellyfish to spiders. And I kid you not, five minutes after my speech to them, I jumped into the water and was promptly stung by a blue bottle jellyfish. Now, in Australia we have the blue ring octopus and the blue bottle jellyfish and I couldn't remember which one kills you. And so I'm screaming at these British backpackers that I've just given them tough man speech to going, help me, help me, thinking that my flesh is rotting off my back. And they're like, we don't know what to do. You told us not to touch it. And it turns out I was fine.

32:55 Caller We all right?

32:56 Adam Yeah. Well, that's why I'm not going to Australia. It's not the plane flight. It's that and the red back spider.

33:02 Caller Yeah.

33:02 Adam Yeah. That's a tough spider there, Drew. Drew, you know nothing about Australia.

33:06 Drew No.

33:06 Adam Practically a tour guide.

33:07 Drew Practically nothing.

33:07 Adam Listen, we got to go on the Internet and show these guys a giant clam. It's 500 pounds.

33:13 Caller It could be a ruse to get you to come stay at someone's hotel.

33:16 Drew No, no, no, no, no. No.

33:17 Come on down to my hotel. I have the only giant clam in all of Great Barrier Reef, OK?

33:26 Adam Look it up right now. All right. And by the way, just to give you like a scale size of the shell.

33:32 Adam If a cigarette that would go in this, if you made an ashtray out of it, would be the size of a redwood. Yeah.

33:38 Drew Yeah.

33:38 Adam Because that's what we do with our wildlife. We take our turtles. We take our clams.

33:42 Drew We make ashtrays out of everything. We can look at this.

33:44 All in ashtray, the size of the giant clam from our gift shop.

33:48 Adam George?

33:50 Yes.

33:51 Adam You're 21.

33:53 Caller Yeah.

33:53 Adam What's up?

33:54 Caller What happened was, back in March, I would say, I was dating a girl. I'm still dating her now, planning on proposing to her in December, Christmas, actually. Back in March, she was 17 and she had like a dime size, looked like a little bruise on her stomach and then it kept on growing and I couldn't really take her to the doctor myself or anything because I was afraid she's underage at the time. It's basically not my call. Today, Junior?

34:28 Adam How long ago is this?

34:29 Guest Adam Sandler.

34:31 Caller Back in March.

34:32 Drew How old was she at the time?

34:33 Caller She was 17. Now she's 18. And now it's about a dollar size so I'm wondering if it's wrong of me to kind of drop the hat on her or what I should do because she went to the doctor, found out it's, I guess, Morphea is what it's called.

34:50 Adam What is that Drew?

34:51 Drew What do you mean drop the hat?

34:53 Adam And by the way, you guys being from lands abroad might think that drop the hat is a popular American euphemism or colloquialism. We've never heard of it either. Our callers are such idiots, I have no idea what he means.

35:05 Drew What do you mean drop the hat?

35:06 Adam Is that like drop a dime?

35:08 Caller No, I'm sorry. If I should go through with the whole proposal on marrying her, I was planning on marrying her next June.

35:13 Drew So you're talking about dropping your engagement because of Morphea?

35:19 Caller That's what I should have said, yeah.

35:21 Drew Morphea is nothing. It's nothing. It's a little plaque that gets on your skin. It goes away with vitamin E very often. What's wrong with you, George? What did they tell you?

35:30 Caller Well, the doctors were telling her it's like a type of lupus and she has to carry an IV around rather than take steroids. And if she takes steroids, then she's going to...

35:40 Drew Does she see a dermatologist?

35:42 Caller She went actually today to see a rheumatologist down at the APA.

35:45 Drew No, dermatologist.

35:48 Caller She already saw a dermatologist.

35:49 Drew Morphea is usually a very benign condition. Very benign.

35:53 Adam Well, is there something that sounds close to it that he's confused with?

35:56 Drew Well, no, he's right. It's a relative of scleroderma and lupus. And if there are systemic manifestations, Morphea has a very low probability of being associated with systemic rheumatic disease. Very low.

36:07 Adam Yeah, but he's thinking about marrying this girl and, you know...

36:10 Drew They're screwing him up.

36:11 Caller And I mean, the doctor's telling her, you know, you can stop it now, kind of make it dormant, but it can never go away.

36:20 Adam Well, George, here's a real question. How are her gums? You've got to give her that look. You have to pull it back, check that. Yeah. Check. Look, you're not buying a pack animal. You're marrying a woman. I feel sorry for her now, by the way, and not just for Morphea, more for Morua.

36:38 Drew I would get a second opinion about this because I, my understanding of Morphea is very benign. Unless there is something else there to suggest she has other rheumatic disease, I would really look around for some opinions about this.

36:49 Guest Did you get a second opinion?

36:50 Caller That's the problem, Dr. Drew. Like, I've been pushing for her because I do care about her, try to have her see. She's gone to maybe six doctors so far.

36:59 Adam Well, listen.

36:59 Drew Why all these doctors?

37:00 Adam George, I hate to say it, but you know, you've got to put her down. That's the only thing you can do.

37:04 Caller Because she needs to be put down.

37:06 Adam Before she breeds.

37:07 Drew Did one scare her and now she's running around trying to figure out what the actual reality is?

37:12 Caller She's not scared. She's just more, I mean, concerned. She knows that, you know, the doctors are kind of not giving her a straightforward answer.

37:19 Drew Well, it sounds like somebody is scarier or confusing her.

37:21 Adam Well, let her go. By the way, you're in Riverside.

37:24 Caller Yeah. Not the 9-9. We changed to the 9-5-1. So you can't be... You don't...

37:28 Adam I assume they only have taxidermists in Riverside. They actually have physicians there?

37:33 Caller You've got to get out of Riverside and get a second opinion. No, she went to San Diego.

37:37 Adam OK, so George, here's your thing. She's still 17?

37:40 Caller No, she's 18 as of... She's 18. All right.

37:42 Adam Don't think about marriage for a little while.

37:44 Drew Yeah, you guys are too young anyway. It's a sign. It's a sign you should delay this.

37:47 Caller Right. There you go.

37:48 Adam All right?

37:49 Drew But I bet... Yes, delay it. Just because...

37:52 Adam Just delay it.

37:52 Drew You're both too young.

37:53 Adam And I don't trust him. Just give it a break. Let her get cured.

37:58 Drew I'll look out more for you.

37:59 Adam Yeah, Drew's going to look it up. But find the giant clam, too. OK, Michelle, is it Cary Elwes here tonight? Leigh Whannell here tonight?

38:10 Drew Yes.

38:10 Adam Yeah, saw the name of the new movie out this Friday. Scary, scary, scary stuff. We're going to take a quick break. Be right back after this.

38:26 Drew Bravo's giving away three scary DVDs to the last caller of this hour, and you'll automatically then enter to win 25 scary movie DVDs. Watch the 100 Scariest Movie Moments this week at 9, 8 Central on Bravo.

38:45 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Jimmy Eat World in here tomorrow night. And tonight we're talking about the movie Saw with Cary Elwes and Leigh Whannell.

39:03 Guest Yeah!

39:04 Adam Yeah, baby. Whannell, baby doll. Man, just looking through Cary's bio here. Forgot all the good movies. I mean, everyone knows Princess Bride, and then Robin Hoodman, tight stuff. But Hotshots, forgot about that. Yeah. Days of Thunder, forgot about that one. And Glory, great movie.

39:22 Thank you.

39:23 Adam Drew, you ever see Glory? The Civil War thing.

39:26 Drew Oh, I've heard about them, yeah.

39:27 Oh, yeah.

39:29 Adam Great movie. Matthew Broderick. Denzel Washington.

39:33 Guest Morgan Freeman.

39:34 Adam Great movie. Oh, Drew, go watch that movie.

39:37 Drew What's it about?

39:38 Adam No, now.

39:38 Guest It's about the first black regiment to fight in the Civil War.

39:41 Drew I did see it. I did see it.

39:41 Guest 54.

39:42 Drew They all got creamed going that one. Yeah, that one assault on the beach.

39:46 Guest Fort Wagner, exactly, yeah.

39:47 Adam Yep.

39:47 Guest You guys are researchy guests, right?

39:49 Adam Oh, yeah.

39:50 Drew We're just preparing for the show, did you?

39:54 Adam Hours of prep. Well, we have a noon meeting and then we break for lunch at about three and then we meet back here about five o'clock to get started on the show, that's right.

40:04 Drew Yeah.

40:05 Adam Now, here's what happens. I come into the studio at 30 seconds to 10 and I know I'm late because Drew's sitting in my chair, which means he's now getting ready to start. The captain is drunk and he's in the lounge and the co-pilot is taking over. And he's gonna try to land the plane, that's right. But prepare for disaster. And by the way, they did that whole commission thing on that flight that crashed over Long Island and they said it's because a guy was wagging the plane and trying to avoid some turbulence or lessen some turbulence of a jet stream of a plane that had taken off before him. And they're doing this sort of pilot error thing. But they didn't really explain in the article, like the tail's not supposed to break off when you wag the plane, sort of semi-gently. Like they keep saying pilot error, but it's as if you're riding a bike and you try to pop a wheel and a handlebars came off in your hands. I'm like, well, it's the error of the guy. Well, no, the guy made the bike sort of screwed up, it seems like to me. What is that?

41:03 Guest Really, it's the tail's not supposed to come off.

41:06 Adam No, and if I'm the family of the dead pilot who did the little waggle thing, who was trying to interrupt some stream or something, some jet wash from the plane that took off, the thing snapped off. But I mean, isn't the plane supposed to hold together a little better than that? One would think. And by the way, I've been talking about this, it's why movies like shows like Lost send a dangerous message because the whole back of the plane breaks off, it's wide open and they crash land on the beach. Have you seen Lost?

41:35 Guest No, I don't watch it. I saw that episode where it comes off and then people are flying.

41:39 Adam It just comes off and people are like there, like oh my God, the serving cart has fallen out the back of the plane. And then it's like, somebody tell the pilot, we gotta bring this thing down soon. No, we're not gonna make Kennedy. We'll put it down in Newark. You know what I mean? It's like, no, you have no body. Now, this is where you start the cartwheeling process, by the way.

41:56 Drew I had a period of fear of flying when I lived with a metallurgist in Massachusetts, MIT metallurgist. No, that's bad. He announced that all metal eventually fractures.

42:05 Adam Oh, yeah.

42:06 Drew All metal.

42:06 Adam Yeah.

42:06 Drew Eventually. That's not just a probability equation of whether you're gonna be on a plane where it suffers one of those.

42:11 Adam It's great. There's nothing worse than the blowhard who scares you.

42:18 Guest That one pilot, you know, tells it, you know, two out of four planes crash.

42:22 Adam Most of these replacement bolts and bearings coming out of Mexico in the underground. Stuff never been stowed.

42:28 Nothing's been mined.

42:29 Guest The irony is. We see a crack and we just paint right over it.

42:31 Adam You know, most of the stuff's rejected out of Europe. We just gobble it up at wholesale prices and slap it right on the plane. No, they don't care. The guys who put the plane together don't fly the plane. No. You know that blowhard guy freaking you out? You're like, well, I am going to Australia tomorrow. Well, actually not tomorrow. Today it's now past midnight. I'm going to be leaving the airport in four hours. All right, good luck. I had the guy, I had this guy. I flew like two days after 9-11 and had the, I was literally talking to a guy going, I'm on my way to the airport. What for? I'm getting on a plane. Oh man, no way. And I'm like, yeah, I'm getting on the plane. Oh wow, you got wave-offs, my friend. It's like, would you shut up?

43:09 Guest I'm on the way to the airport.

43:11 Adam I'm not, unless you know something, like if there's a bomb on this flight and you don't want me to get a fight, but just the general sort of musings of, ooh, wow, okay then.

43:22 Guest There's a giant leap of faith happening anyway, I think, anytime anyone lifts a huge piece of metal machinery and expects it to go through the air nicely and then land in another spot.

43:34 Drew They're flying again. The irony of after that metal just made that announcement to me is, remember that plane with the fuselage roof lifted off Hawaii? Yes. That happened like a month later.

43:43 Guest If you're on your way to the airport and you're listening to this, just don't worry about it. We're just kidding.

43:51 Adam Yeah, safer and drier.

43:53 Drew Don't take all the food.

43:53 Guest Two weeks by boat to Australia. You can still see giant clams. If you take the boat.

43:58 Adam Yeah, and if you take the cruise. Do they have cruises to Australia? That's too far.

44:04 Take my lovely cruise to see the giant clam and then spend a nice evening in my beautiful hotel, home of the famous giant clams of the Great Barrier Reef.

44:16 Adam Oy, that's what Jaco would say. Dante, Drew, I can't believe you don't know Jaco.

44:22 Drew I know Jaco, I know Jaco.

44:23 Adam No, you don't. You know Jaco because I told you about Jaco.

44:26 Drew No, I remember him in those commercials.

44:27 Adam You're the guy who thinks Crocodile Dundee came before Jaco.

44:31 Drew I can't remember the chronology, but I remember Jaco.

44:32 Guest Do you remember his single? I'm an individual. It was the song he released.

44:37 Really?

44:38 Adam Wow.

44:38 How'd it go?

44:39 Guest It went, I'm an individual, you can't fool me. That was the chorus.

44:44 Adam Also in a TV show. Seriously. He was in a TV show out here. Right. Wow. Wow, wow, wow, this is getting scary.

44:53 Guest Listen, I'm from Australia. Don't cross me on Jacka.

44:55 Adam Yeah, man, they got nothing going on over there.

44:59 Guest Did Yahu Sirius ever have any hits in the charts at all?

45:03 Guest Not song-wise. After Young Einstein, he released a film called Reckless Kelly and now I believe he's selling dishwashers or something in Tasmania.

45:13 Adam Dante?

45:15 Guest My questions are going to my pecker.

45:18 Guest Dante.

45:19 Adam Didn't I punch Dante out?

45:20 Drew Yes, yes, he's up. Dante. Caller goes by Dante.

45:24 Adam He's not talking. All right, screw Dante. Let's talk to a chick. Where's the girls? Lexi, Allison? Yeah, you're right, Lexi's the only one. Lexi, all right. Lexi.

45:34 Yeah, actually it's Leslie.

45:36 Adam Leslie, 14. What's up?

45:39 Caller Okay, well, I've been going out with my boyfriend for four and a half months now and last Friday, me and his best friend, they've been best friends since they were like two. Well, we all got high at his house and my boyfriend, like, I don't know, he took it hard or whatever. I'm like, he fell asleep for like 20 minutes and while he was sleeping, I, well, yeah, basically I hooked up with his best friend, but then like me and his best friend started talking and like, I found that I like him and I don't know what to do because I like his best friend a lot better than him. But like, if I go out with him, then he'll know that we hooked up and like, I don't know whether to go out.

46:19 Adam Great if this could just carry into adulthood, like we all go out, me and your wife start making out and I find out I like her because she smells good. And so we hook up for a while.

46:29 Guest It's just, anything can happen with whippets.

46:31 Adam Yeah, yeah, what, what were you doing? Were you smoking, were you doing whippets? Are we smoking pot? What were you doing?

46:37 Guest Do people still do whippets?

46:39 Caller It was just pot, it was weed.

46:41 Adam Just weed, and was your boyfriend passed out in the room that you were in?

46:47 Caller Yeah, he was an express.

46:49 Drew Oh, and when you say hook up, you just mean make out.

46:53 Caller No, well, like, he ate me out and I gave him that.

46:58 Guest In 20 minutes?

46:59 Drew With your boyfriend lying next to you?

47:01 Adam Wait a minute, where'd you go to finishing school? I'm guessing abroad, Geneva, I'm guessing.

47:07 Drew Switzerland, Switzerland, Switzerland, absolutely.

47:10 Guest But hang on, he was passed out for 20 minutes, she said, so that means everything had to be signed, sealed, delivered. The conversation, the ice breaking, the act.

47:19 Drew And then finish. Forget the timing.

47:20 Guest Forget ice breaking.

47:21 Drew I think the way those are doing it next to the boyfriend. Well, was he in the room? Surreal.

47:27 Adam It was right next to him.

47:29 Guest Right next to him?

47:30 Adam Yeah.

47:31 Guest No, if he's listening to this, he's like, what?

47:34 Caller That's so not cool, man.

47:37 Adam We don't all sound that way. Wow, that is horrible. And by the way, she slipped this one in too, which is, you know, after the copious amounts of oral sex we had, we began talking and discovered we shared affection for each other.

47:51 Guest But this is what I'm saying in the two minutes.

47:53 Adam Yeah. Lexi.

47:55 Drew Leslie.

47:56 Adam I mean, Leslie. I'm reading the screen. Okay, so your boyfriend was in the same room when you engaged in oral sex with this guy.

48:07 Drew Are you really angry with your boyfriend? Do you not like him?

48:09 Caller No, I like him. I just like his friend, Butter.

48:11 Drew Yeah, I understand that. But to do this is such a... Yeah, it's such a horrible, aggressive act to do it with him. What if he had woken up?

48:19 Adam You would have had to kill him, by the way.

48:23 Hey, this is so not cool, man.

48:27 Adam No, he would just assume he was having a horrible, horrible dream.

48:30 Guest Can I ask, Leslie, does he know now?

48:34 Caller No, he doesn't know.

48:35 Guest He still doesn't know? Well, here's my advice.

48:38 Caller If I went out with his best friend, like, he'd know. He'd be like, well, what the hell, you know?

48:42 Guest No, no, what you do is, first of all, you break up, you gotta break up. Then wait a month, then start going out with the best friend.

48:48 Drew Or maybe hide the fact that you've been going out for a while.

48:51 Caller But I don't want to wait. Like, I already, like, hooked up with his best friend again.

48:54 Guest Like, you can wait a month. I mean, you're only 14.

48:58 Adam And you hooked up again.

48:59 Caller Well, yeah, but he was in Lexus again, but he was, like, at the bathroom.

49:05 Guest You hooked up in the Lexus while he was in the bathroom?

49:08 Drew No way.

49:09 Adam No.

49:09 Drew No way.

49:09 Adam So he's in the bathroom this time?

49:11 Drew This is now bogus.

49:12 Adam You don't believe it? No. No. Really? But it's so outrageous.

49:16 Drew So outrageous. But how could she time it? What did they do while he was in the bathroom?

49:21 Adam Well, first off, this guy moves.

49:24 Caller This guy, he's like, I'll be right back, guys. I'm just going to the bathroom.

49:30 Adam And this other guy's like a ferret. He's just, pow, it's on top and he's done.

49:36 Guest Or you could continue to go out with the boyfriend to just keep feeding him the whippets or the weed and then wait for him to pass out.

49:42 Adam Leslie.

49:43 Caller Yeah.

49:44 Adam You say he was in the bathroom.

49:46 Caller We were in the movie theater. And he just gone for like five minutes. We only like made out. We wasn't like anything.

49:52 Adam Oh, that's refreshing.

49:53 Caller That's right.

49:53 Adam No 69ing in the aisle or anything.

49:56 Caller No.

49:57 Adam Okay, using the imitation butter flavoring as a lubricant. Nothing. It's really it's like we turn the calendar back a hundred years. I imagine this is how courting was around the turn of the century.

50:09 Guest It's this new age of conservatism, compassionate conservatism.

50:12 Adam Wow. I say it's gone too far.

50:14 Guest Yeah. I think you need to let the guy know, man.

50:17 Guest Just carry, carry.

50:18 Drew End this relationship.

50:20 Adam That's what I mean.

50:20 Guest End it. Just let him know it's over.

50:22 Drew You're being very cruel, Leslie. I don't know why you're being so cruel to this guy.

50:26 Adam And by the way, she's 14.

50:28 Drew You're 14.

50:29 Adam You're 14. This is going to end up in disaster. This is going to be like the Hindenburg in a couple of years. Oh, the humanity.

50:39 Guest He's going to catch you at some point. I mean, you're just tempting fate there.

50:44 Adam How about you reel it in a little bit?

50:46 Guest To quote Homer Simpson, welcome to Dumpsville. Population, you. Yeah. Just get rid of the guy.

50:55 Guest You what?

50:56 Caller It's 2004. I mean, it's not like it's like the 1800s or like.

51:01 Guest But the guy, you're leading this guy on.

51:04 Adam Just break up with your boyfriend, would you?

51:05 Drew Please.

51:06 Caller OK. All right.

51:08 Adam And please, you're going to get pregnant in the ninth grade. Just slow it down a little. Would you reel it in?

51:16 Caller Whatever.

51:17 Adam Yeah.

51:17 Drew Well, wait a minute. What do you mean, whatever?

51:20 Adam Yeah.

51:21 Caller Well, like, what do you want me to do? Like, like not have oral sex, is that what you mean? Or like what?

51:26 Adam Well, I would like you to stop using your sexuality as a weapon.

51:31 Caller As a weapon.

51:33 Adam By the way. But, you know, in terms of getting, getting beaten up, though, better if someone uses sexuality on you.

51:38 Caller As beatings go.

51:40 Adam As beatings go. It's a good one. But I, I've just, we were, how about you focus on your friends, a little school, a little bit, something like that?

51:46 Caller I've just, I've always been, like, a very sexual person.

51:50 Adam You're 14, unless you're talking about a past life we don't know about. I like this. I like to make these proclamations. I've always been a very sensual person. Oh, the 70s were a great time for me. Twenty years before I was born, then AIDS came along and screwed everything up when I was two.

52:07 Drew She had been abused. Passed me abuse.

52:11 Adam I don't care. Here's the thing. Break up with the guy, use 30 condoms and never call the show again. All right? We're going to take ourselves just a little bit of a break. Leigh Whannell here tonight, Cary Elwes here tonight, the movie saw going to see it this Friday when it comes out. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

52:33 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

52:55 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. That's Drew out, getting Cary and Leigh out of the hall there. Sit on down, we're on the radio. Are we really? Yeah. Unacceptable.

53:06 Guest Unruly guests.

53:08 Adam Yeah, you guys are fantastic. Really, we get so many knobs in here. It's nice to have someone with a thesis and a humor and a little education. Yes, Drew?

53:18 Guest Yes, Adam.

53:18 Caller All right.

53:20 Adam And anyone want to call in, guess what Drew was referring to when he said it had a texture of this or felt like this? It's never going to happen by the way. Cary and Leigh are both here promoting Saw, which is coming out this Friday. It's a nationwide release. Yes, large scale.

53:38 Guest And it's the only R-rated horror film that's going to be out this Halloween weekend.

53:44 Guest Oh, yeah, we had some screenings in Sundance and some of the audience members were like visibly upset and had to be escorted out.

53:53 Adam Nice, I like that.

53:54 Guest So we're telling people if you're too squeamish, with high blood pressure.

53:58 Guest Let's just, let's invent another horror film that's coming out on, let's pretend there's another horror film that's competing with us that's coming out this Halloween weekend.

54:06 Let's call it The Crunch.

54:09 Guest And it stars a cast member of Buffy, say. Let's say it's PG-13. Why would you see that film instead of Saw?

54:17 Adam You wouldn't. And by the way, first off, I heard a horrible review by Roper and Ebert, by the way, on that. And number two, how well traveled is that road where the house is haunted? That's enough of that.

54:30 Guest Yeah, how long can you stay in a house when you know it's haunted?

54:33 Adam At a certain point, I say get out.

54:35 Guest Get out.

54:35 Guest For me, about brunch.

54:37 Adam Right. About brunch. I do breakfast and then brunch. I'm thinking about lunch, but I think no. Now I'm out. Spend another night here.

54:47 Guest There's not a Richard Pry joe, he's like get out.

54:49 Adam Yeah, yeah. Just get out. It's like Amityville Horror. The house is actually yelling at you to get out.

54:56 Guest If you're still sticking around after the house is telling you to get out.

54:59 Adam Yeah.

54:59 Guest You're dumb and then you know anything.

55:01 Adam Yeah, really. And so who needs that grudge, by the way? And that grudge, it has to be promising because that movie made $40 million, I think it's first week out, surprised a lot of people. And it says to me that people want to see a horror movie.

55:16 Guest Where's my car?

55:17 Adam No, I'm not saying it's good based on the amount of money that it made. I'm saying this is a good thing for you guys. This is opportunity. And I don't understand, by the way, we've talked about this before when you talk about Blair Witch Project or you just talk about the Friday the 13th series or Halloween or whatever it is, why someone wouldn't just take a small budget, make a horror movie, make the money back every time. I don't understand the huge multi-billion dollar extravagances.

55:45 Guest Well these guys are living proof of how you can do it because they really had an idea to make a movie very cheaply anyway. Why don't you tell them about that?

55:52 Guest Well yeah, we were back in Australia and we just finished film school and so we wanted to make a film, put those years of school to use and we realized we had no money and so we said all right, let's pay for a film ourselves and the cheapest thing we could think of was two guys chained up in a room and it's just sort of a weird sort of cosmic accident that it ended up snowballing from us doing it in Australia with our own money to doing it over here in LA with Cary and Danny Glover and all this.

56:19 Adam And getting the financial backing to do it again?

56:22 Guest Yeah.

56:23 Adam Do it right so to speak?

56:24 Guest It was living proof that a script will get you, you know.

56:28 Guest Did you guys shoot an actual? They're living the American dream, these guys, I'm telling you, really, truly.

56:33 Guest Well, you saw the scene, that was the thing.

56:35 Guest Yeah, they sent us, this is how I got involved, they sent us a little DVD, an eight minute DVD that these guys have both made, Lee and James, of a scene that's in the movie. Where James is playing the part that's actually played by a woman in the movie, and he has a reverse bear trap in his mouth.

56:50 Guest That is me playing the part, James directing.

56:52 Guest And yeah, and he has a reverse bear trap in his mouth.

56:55 Adam Wait, what's a reverse bear trap? You mean like a bear trap?

56:58 Guest Yeah, and it's on a timer, and if he can't find the key in time, so the traps go off and split his skull in two.

57:07 Guest It's like almost a many evil pair of braces that fits into your lower and upper jaw, like kind of hooks in, and then when it opens, it goes, oh, so it's a bear trap that doesn't snap shut.

57:19 Adam It's not like a giant clam. It's like when the giant clam yawns, it opens and splits your head. Yeah, I'd much rather have my head smash by a bear trap than split open.

57:29 Guest And it was such a compelling little eight minute film that I sent back an email with just the word wow, with an exclamation mark, and I just knew these guys had such a vision already in the scene, this little doll comes out on a tricycle and I went, oh these guys are out of their minds.

57:45 Adam And did you shoot, we gotta take a break, so we'll get to this when we get back, but did you do a whole movie or did you do some scenes?

57:51 Guest Just a scene.

57:52 Guest Just one scene.

57:53 Adam Oh man, am I angry and jealous. We gotta take a little bit of a break. I'm gonna pick Lee's brain while we're on commercial break. Cary here as well. Movie Saw coming out this Friday, with a quick break, be right back after this. You know, Drew, smelling good is more than a smell. It's an attitude.

58:16 Drew It's true, Adam.

58:17 Adam It is?

58:18 Drew I know how to get that attitude, too.

58:20 Adam Break down?

58:21 Drew Axe deodorant body spray.

58:42 Adam Hey everybody, Loveline. That's Dr. Drew for number 1-800-LOVE-191. Jimmy Eat World in here tomorrow night. Cary Elwes in here tonight. Leigh Whannell in here tonight. Saw name of the movie this Friday. Only R-rated movie out on Halloween weekend. Do you know that, Drew?

59:03 Drew That's amazing.

59:04 Adam And you got, here's the whole thing. Here's the way I feel. I never really thought about it, but if you're gonna see a horror movie, you gotta go R. Otherwise, it's like, you know when you go to a Mexican restaurant and you want the margarita, and they go, we make ours with wine. You're like, no. What am I supposed to do, hit myself in the head with a shoe or salt shaker to get effed up? Come on, that ain't getting drunk. That's what the PG is to the horror movie. That's the margarita made with wine. I have to drink 35 of these before I even begin to catch up.

59:36 Guest Wine out of a box.

59:38 Adam That's right. We have a box of wine that we mix in with our margarita. Screw you. I need booze. I don't even like to mix in with the tequila. I'd rather just have a margarita with just tequila. But the white wine one. Oh, and look, don't serve it then. And don't tell me it's good. I might taste good.

59:55 Caller I'm not getting effed up.

59:57 Adam True. Am I right?

59:58 Drew You're right, of course.

59:59 Caller All right.

59:59 Drew That's what this movie.

1:00:01 Adam That's what that's what the grudge is. You want a wine margarita out of a box? Enjoy the grudge. Enjoy.

1:00:09 Guest You want to grudge it up.

1:00:10 Adam You want a double shot of a Cuervo 1800? You go see the saw.

1:00:15 That's right. That's right.

1:00:16 Adam You're goddamn right. I'm done, Dre. I know.

1:00:18 Drew That's it.

1:00:20 Adam I think that was good, but that's enough.

1:00:23 Drew Don't take any calls at this point. Whatever you do, no call.

1:00:25 Guest Oh, what? What?

1:00:27 Adam Don't you don't think I'll take calls?

1:00:29 Drew We could not play according to countdown, too.

1:00:30 Adam He thinks he's a boss of me because he's a doctor. He can tell me what to do. Well, you know what? Maybe I'm going to take some calls. What do you think of that?

1:00:37 Drew I'll be upset.

1:00:38 Adam Look where my finger is. You think you can stop me?

1:00:41 Drew Very disturbing.

1:00:42 Adam Pow! We're going to the phones. All right. All right. Smart guy. Keep going. We'll take another call. Ian.

1:00:50 Guest Hey, Adam, what's up?

1:00:51 Adam Drew thinks he can tell me what to do. He thinks he can manipulate me.

1:00:56 Drew I showed him. What's up, Ian?

1:00:57 Guest Hey, dude, I just wanted to say I live my life by the Adam Carolla gospel. I use my horn religiously and I always look through the red hand arrows. Good man.

1:01:09 Drew What's up?

1:01:10 Guest My question is, dude, I can have multiple orgasms on the same erection. And I was wondering if during sex I should take off the condom, like pull out and take off the condom and put on a new one each time?

1:01:23 Drew Yes. Yes. No, no, no. Take off. That's how condoms get torn. All right. That is, by the way, not a multiple orgasm. That's a sequence of orgasms.

1:01:32 Adam Well, but it's it's it's it's our like we say same boner new chiz.

1:01:39 Drew That's what we always say. Like we always say.

1:01:41 Adam Our grandpa used to say, like the Petridge Farms guy used to say.

1:01:46 Drew It really is like a commercial, a morning cereal commercial.

1:01:49 Adam Same boners, new chiz. Yeah.

1:01:52 Guest That just means your factory is working doubly hard. Your next check, please, before your last one's been spent.

1:01:56 Drew Yeah, but it's not multiple.

1:01:59 Adam But I'm saying for a guy who can't really have a multiple orgasm, that's a multiple orgasm. Right.

1:02:07 Guest Is he practicing tantric sex?

1:02:09 Adam Yeah, what are you doing?

1:02:10 Guest No, not at all.

1:02:11 Drew He's just 20.

1:02:12 Guest That's the way it's been. Ever since I first started jacking off.

1:02:15 Adam All right. All right. Well, consider yourself in some sort of rarefied beat-off air. You're the best of the best when it comes to beating off. Yeah, they like it.

1:02:29 Guest Section eight.

1:02:30 Adam Survivors should write a song about you. And by the way, is it? We're Sting from England. I don't want to.

1:02:37 Guest I don't want to.

1:02:38 Adam I find it obnoxious when he when he goes on like Oprah and talks about banging his wife for nine hours. And she's sitting right there next to him and then they take a tour of one of his many homes. It's a sort of live. Oh, I'm going to explain you how to live your life. And it's oh, well, and by the way, you always feel like a jackass because it's like what I do is, well, you know, I sleep I sleep an hour and a half at night a night. I get up at the four. We do we do the yoga for three hours and it's fresh pressed juice. And then it's tantric lovemaking. For nine hours for nine hours. And then it's off to work with the indigenous people of who the F cares. And then I got to write another platinum selling CD with more indigenous people. And I'm like, well, let's see. I roll out of bed at noon. I break wind. I get back in the bed and I beat off and I complain about my dad.

1:03:26 Guest Those shows aren't as bad as I've just discovered being over here in America. Those look how rich these people are shows. And that Lindsay Lohan took five of her friends to St. Tropez. Cost $16,000. The fabulous life of Tara Reel.

1:03:44 Adam They do it on MTV too. They do that thing too where they're like, Brad liked the new Land Rover so much that he bought Jennifer one. Just like, well, okay, it's a $45,000 car. He gets paid $13 million. It's really like one of us driving a moped. Yeah, that's what you do when you have a ton of money. You buy a car with it.

1:04:06 Guest Do people like watching this though? Do they like looking in the...

1:04:08 Diddy arriving in St. Tropez in the biggest yacht ever to arrive in this harbor.

1:04:14 Adam Yeah, once owned by the sultan of fill in the blank and yeah, I know. And I don't know if it really psychologically, it has to damage people that are just sitting in the crappy apartment, staring at the rust colored carpet with the TV with the rabbit ears on it and they're using a pair of vice grips to change the channel. It's got to be brutal. Right. And you know, you know what the thing is? And here's an interesting shocking that I have thoughts about this. But, you know, they would say like I grew up in a crappy house, you know, we didn't have any major major problems, a little welfare, some food stamps and a little depression floating around. And I would stand and they would always say they would always say we were poor, but we weren't proud. That's the twist in our family. We're poor, but not proud. We would gladly borrow money from anybody and not pay it back. So we're poor, but no pride, Drew, which is a twist again for the Corollas. But here's what happened. They would have these shows like Samford and Son, where they lived in a basically a garbage can and they would say, well, maybe that's not a great message to put across. But the message that was horrible was the Brady Bunch, because everyone loved each other and they lived in a big house and they all sat down and said, grace. That was the depressing part. It's actually better to watch people that are lower down. It makes you feel like, wow, this guy found someone who's got it worse than we do. Watching the Sandra Payne stuff and the P. Diddy and all that kind of stuff, it's it's brutal when you have nothing. It creates envy. And then I think you get unrealistic. You go, screw college. I'm going the P. Diddy route, but you never get you never, you never rise.

1:05:52 Guest There seems to be a whole emphasis now, though, on the bling bling.

1:05:55 Adam Yeah, right. Never.

1:05:56 Guest It's like how rich are they? It's rubbing the poor people's faces in the dirt.

1:05:59 Adam Right. Yeah. And and the idea that you you know, you got rims that never stop spinning and you're wearing a hubcap size and medallion around your neck and the guy tries to talk about I think we're talking about the Asians, by the way, I think we just go out and say it. We are talking about it. So let's let's not skirt around the issue. We're talking the Asians with the big triple chrome rims and the Cadillac Escalade.

1:06:20 Drew Say bling bling.

1:06:21 Adam Forty two inch plasma airbag. Yeah. Bring bring. Bring bring.

1:06:29 Drew Got it.

1:06:30 Adam Come on, buddy. All right. All right.

1:06:32 Caller All right.

1:06:34 Adam Aaron, bring bring.

1:06:38 Caller Definitely.

1:06:39 Guest Hey, Aaron.

1:06:40 Caller Yeah.

1:06:40 Guest You're 24. Yeah.

1:06:42 Adam What's happening?

1:06:44 Caller Well, me and my girlfriend have been together for a couple years now. And, you know, we wanted to try something new. You know, I've been experimenting with this in torn with the idea. And you know, she's kind of small. I'm like six, four or something.

1:07:00 Drew Hang on. As soon as the guy said this, there's only two options. That whole intro was it was by the way, yeah, a lead into either a anal sex or B3, threesome.

1:07:09 Adam If you're if you're her father, let's just say, and you're hearing this conversation, you know, we've been together for some years and we've been meaning to try something a little different. We're both open minded. Of course, I'm a big man. She's a small. That's like you're you're putting a shotgun in your mouth, kicking your shoe off, trying to get the toe on to the trigger, right? That's what you do, right?

1:07:30 Drew Absolutely. And then you know, here comes here comes.

1:07:34 Adam Now I suggested water soluble lube, but she said no, she's a tough gal. She prides herself. Well, OK, where's the shotgun?

1:07:41 Drew Pull the trigger.

1:07:41 Adam It's gone. You know, my friend Lucius, he's also a large man and he he happened to come over. Yeah.

1:07:52 Caller Right.

1:07:53 Adam Aaron.

1:07:54 Caller Yes.

1:07:55 Adam You're 24. So so keep going. What'd you do?

1:07:59 Caller The answer is A. I haven't done anything yet. Nothing. I had the A and B scenario. I said, hey, no. So like I've tried some stuff, not really like all the way since you already know what the thing is all about. But yeah.

1:08:12 Adam Well, it says here it's about it's about anal sex.

1:08:15 Caller Yeah.

1:08:17 Adam And you want you want to know if that's a good idea?

1:08:20 Caller Well, because if you go too far and you damage something in there, you rip it, you know, you can't really come in. How embarrassing is that when you go to the emergency room? Yeah, doctor. I, you know, killed her or whatever.

1:08:33 Drew Sure. Bad times.

1:08:34 Caller Yes.

1:08:34 Drew Not a good idea.

1:08:35 Caller Yeah, it's a bad time. Exactly. So that's why I was like, if you do it, is it like, you know, should you be easy?

1:08:41 Adam You know, I mean, yeah, no, no, no, no, you go 100 percent. If you go half speed, that's when you get hurt. That's what my football coaches used to say. If you're going to only rape somebody, you go 110 percent.

1:08:52 Drew Anything under that you hurt that's how bad for reelection, they would call it.

1:08:56 Adam Gentlemen. No gravity. Break it down. Let's go. Yeah. Is he bogus? Is this bogus or what? It's weird. Let me try to figure this out. Aaron?

1:09:08 Caller Yeah.

1:09:09 Adam What do you do for a living? Something, something with a forklift, right?

1:09:13 Caller No, actually I sell real estate.

1:09:17 Adam Uh-huh. Out of a forklift or no?

1:09:19 Caller Yeah, out of the trunk of my car.

1:09:22 Adam You sell real estate and you can't figure out, you can't do the anal math? You know, I mean.

1:09:28 Caller I can know how you can do it. I just don't want to do it to the extent that it's going to damage, you know.

1:09:35 Adam Well, why don't you, why don't you, why don't you leave her alone then?

1:09:39 Caller Right.

1:09:40 Adam You're a big man. She could hurt her.

1:09:43 Drew There you go. It could hurt her. So why bother? She's not into it. It's something you've been rumoring about. She's not asking for it.

1:09:48 Caller Is she?

1:09:48 Drew You can only.

1:09:49 Adam Sometimes they're asking for it without saying anything. I can always tell.

1:09:53 Caller It's more along the lines of.

1:09:54 Adam It's more of a look.

1:09:57 Caller But if not, then I don't want to.

1:10:02 Drew I'm trying to translate that.

1:10:03 Caller Like if you start to do it and it's like if it's uncomfortable, then she doesn't want to.

1:10:07 Drew That's right. And that's when you stop. And that's the end of that.

1:10:09 Adam All right. Oh, that's fine.

1:10:10 Caller All right.

1:10:11 Drew All right.

1:10:11 Adam Look, I don't know.

1:10:13 Caller I don't know.

1:10:13 Adam I don't know how it works in Australia or England, but the anal obsession we have in this country. I don't get it. I don't understand. Call me old fashioned. It's not. It's a. Prison six.

1:10:25 Drew It's aggressive. It's a real aggressive move.

1:10:27 Adam Is it? Is that what it is?

1:10:28 Drew Misogyny.

1:10:28 Adam But don't you think there's an aspect of.

1:10:31 Drew No pun intended.

1:10:32 Adam There's.

1:10:33 Drew Everything's a double entendre.

1:10:35 Adam It really is. There's an element.

1:10:37 Drew Yes.

1:10:38 Adam OK. Of. I just want to. I want to say I tried it. Right.

1:10:43 Drew You always say that, but the guys don't really tell us that. For some reason, they can't really even tell us what is motivating them.

1:10:49 Adam Is there also sort of an element of it's out there. Well, most 24 year old guys who have a girlfriend, they'll look at it more as a sort of cadaver for them to experiment on.

1:10:58 Drew My sense is they kind of want to hurt a woman with their penis. They're kind of looking to. Yeah.

1:11:05 Adam I'd like to just say I did that once.

1:11:06 Drew Right.

1:11:06 Adam I'd have to get a running start.

1:11:08 Guest I think that is. It's like ticking off boxes, isn't it? It's like you want to. Everybody wants to appear like they're really sexually open and free and I've tried. They don't want to want to appear repressed like they haven't done it.

1:11:17 Adam Nobody wants to be lying on their death bread and say, I never corn hold abroad. You know what I mean?

1:11:22 Drew Or spent too many hours at the office. Those are the two things that you want to say.

1:11:27 Adam Drew, I had to do motivational posters.

1:11:29 Drew You really should.

1:11:30 Adam Eagle, eagle soaring over the Alaskan tundra and it says nobody wants to be lying on their death bed. Yeah. And by the way, is that a different bed than the one you normally sleep on or is anyone you're going to die on as a doctor?

1:11:42 Drew It's usually different.

1:11:43 Adam But you don't have it labeled death bed at the hospital, do you? That's a bummer.

1:11:48 Caller You move them on to the death bed?

1:11:49 Drew You show it to the page, you bring it in.

1:11:52 Adam You put them on the death bed. They know because there's a body being rolled off of it as they get on.

1:11:56 Guest You're not even giving me a fighting chance. I'm on the death bed.

1:11:58 Adam Sorry, you're on the death bed. Where's a trailer hitch on so we can drive it to your grave? But yeah, so it's a picture of an eagle and it says over the Canadian Rockies. And it says nobody wants to be on their deathbed and say they didn't cornhole abroad.

1:12:18 Drew Yeah.

1:12:18 Adam Yeah.

1:12:19 Drew Powerful. Very moving.

1:12:20 Adam Powerful words.

1:12:21 Drew Motivation. John Denver's picture next to it.

1:12:23 Adam Yeah.

1:12:23 Guest I like trailer.

1:12:24 Guest It's the rule one finger at a time.

1:12:28 Guest It's the rule.

1:12:28 Adam Yeah.

1:12:28 Guest Just go somewhere. Start small.

1:12:30 Adam One finger at a time.

1:12:30 Guest I mean, you can always find out if someone's into it or not.

1:12:33 Guest Yeah, if she's not into it, I wouldn't.

1:12:35 Guest If she can't handle an index finger, then.

1:12:38 Drew Yeah, it could only hurt.

1:12:39 Adam Yeah.

1:12:39 Drew There we go. Keep going.

1:12:40 Adam Move on. All right. So one finger at a time. And if you run out of hands, by the way, though, maybe she's not a keeper. Maybe you don't marry. That's all. She can start getting your feet involved. You know what I'm saying, Drew? Start rolling into the toes. Maybe you got a problem. Lindsay? Maybe she should have went C-section. Lindsay, you're 16. What's up?

1:13:02 Caller My parents are recently divorced and my mom has a new boyfriend and he spends the night sometimes and my bedroom is right below theirs and I can hear them a lot. Yeah. I'm wondering how to approach this issue.

1:13:22 Drew Are there other siblings in the house?

1:13:24 Caller Yeah, my brother.

1:13:24 Drew How old is he?

1:13:25 Caller He's 12.

1:13:27 Drew Oh, I think he's around this time.

1:13:29 Caller His bedroom is a little further away on the bottom floor but-

1:13:32 Drew Take a broom into your room and when they start that up and you just smack the ceiling, they will freak out. They will freak out, I suspect, when they realize that you can hear it and then your mom will have to talk to you.

1:13:41 Adam No, no, no. But that's weird.

1:13:43 Guest Or she could paint her face-

1:13:45 Drew Listen, it's weird to the parents to put this poor girl in this position in the first place.

1:13:48 Adam What do they want? Go ahead, Leigh. Sorry.

1:13:50 Guest She could stand at the end of the bed with kind of that shining-esque pale face makeup and just stare at them until they see her.

1:13:57 Adam Right. It would freak them out.

1:13:59 Caller Then they know that I know. It would be creepy anyway.

1:14:02 Adam Yeah, they can't know you know. That's weird. I'll tell you, I'll tell you what you're going to do. First off, you got to get, you got to get those little foam earplugs, you got to plug your ears up. You got to get some kind of little noisemaker, like a little fan or a little white noise thing, you know, makes the sound of the ocean. That's it.

1:14:17 Drew I worry about the mom that's getting this far out there that her-

1:14:21 Adam She got a new bow, you know, it's been a little dry spell. This guy's excited. They don't live in a castle, you know. What are they going to do? Hump in the kitchen? See what I'm saying? Lindsay? Is it a small house?

1:14:35 Caller Not really, no.

1:14:36 Adam Oh, really? Can he take- is there other- but they don't have other bedrooms or anything, right?

1:14:42 Caller No.

1:14:45 Drew But you're not willing to put her on notice in any way that you know. You want to hide that you know.

1:14:50 Adam How about you do it jokingly?

1:14:52 Caller I'm like less worried about her knowing that I'm about him knowing because he's new and I'm still kind of weird about him and I don't know.

1:15:01 Adam In what way weird?

1:15:02 Drew Well, just he's kind of slimy and don't talk to him, don't even deal with him. It's really between you and your mom.

1:15:07 Adam Well, this isn't a stepdad. This is a boyfriend. Yeah, a new one. And she's had other boyfriends that you disapproved of?

1:15:16 Caller No, this is the first one.

1:15:18 Adam And do you where's dad?

1:15:20 Caller He's around.

1:15:22 Adam He's around. But how recently did he leave?

1:15:25 Caller No, he didn't like leave per se. Like I don't know, they got divorced and it was kind of it was pretty mature thing. It was just like and I go to his house half the time, but when I met my mom and I had to move in your back to your dad's.

1:15:39 Adam Well, look, here's the way you do it. You do it jokingly. You say to mom, wow, sounds like somebody had a good time last night upstairs. And hopefully that's enough just to give her a little little little jab, a little shame. And she reels it in. If not, then you start getting into the earplugs and you start getting into the noisemaker. Nothing wrong with that. Let me tell you something. Hold on. Leigh's got something to say too.

1:16:01 Guest Well, I was just going to say that I had experience with this, not so much with the hearing sounds, but with parents separating, new boyfriend comes in and I had to share the house. And it's not good. You have to tell, she has to tell her mother about this because it's just, she has to live there in this house. If you're uncomfortable in your own house at that age.

1:16:21 Drew It's very disrespectful.

1:16:23 Guest She needs some self-respect.

1:16:25 Guest She won't want to come home. She'll be uncomfortable in her own house.

1:16:28 Drew So let's get the brass to be bad.

1:16:30 Adam Leigh, by the way, is a product of a dysfunctional family, as am I.

1:16:35 Drew Oh, yes.

1:16:35 Adam Drew, you don't know what it's like.

1:16:37 Guest We put the funk in dysfunctional.

1:16:38 Adam Are you two caring, your parents?

1:16:40 Guest Oh, man. Name me one that isn't.

1:16:43 Adam Dr. Drew over here.

1:16:45 Caller I could say something.

1:16:46 Adam They still love each other.

1:16:47 Caller I went through the same problem. I don't know, I was like 10 or 11. My parents were at it and I just walked in the bedroom and stood at the foot of the bed and they immediately got up. My dad just like got on top off of my mom and said, Oh, what's the matter, honey? I said, I can't sleep. And what they say, they talk about it and say anything. They just kind of my mom kind of like hit under the covers and my dad just, they never talked about it again. And it stopped them kind of for a little while, but then went back on. So I started sleeping with the Walkman.

1:17:26 Drew You were 10 at the time? Did it screw you up?

1:17:29 Caller I think I am.

1:17:30 Drew Did that experience traumatize you?

1:17:32 Caller Oh yeah, totally did. I was so fearful of sex and I just didn't, you know, it just traumatized me. So I began listening to sports talk radio and fell asleep with the Walkman every night and so I have bad hearing.

1:17:46 Guest Why is it so hard to even think about your parents having, is there a psychological reason for this, where it's just like you shiver?

1:17:54 Adam And Drew, what is that? I mean, is human beings, evolution and all that, people living in confined areas, huts, caves, you know, large families, you know, why, how would that serve us to be grossed out by our parents, you know, sexuality?

1:18:11 Drew It prevents, well, a number of things. It prevents the consanguinity of genes, you know, the same genes being shared by the same people.

1:18:20 Adam Oh, you mean like, dad, like, oh, I got a little something left for you, Junior.

1:18:23 Drew No, well, this is even worse than brother and sister sharing genes. We'd be like son and mom sharing genes, genetic material.

1:18:29 Adam Yeah.

1:18:30 Drew You end up with some bad mixing.

1:18:32 The ling-no-ling-no-ling-no-ling.

1:18:34 Guest Psychologically, it's just something.

1:18:35 Drew I think it's more psychological. I think there's a psychological process to it, but I think it is something evolutionarily serving us from an evolutionary perspective.

1:18:43 Adam Well, it's an interesting thing, which is, you talked to Drew and whatever bizarre sort of thing that we think is an idiosyncrasy or it's just sort of societal more or something like that. You start breaking it down. You start realizing there's a reason for it. I mean, sort of biologically.

1:18:59 Drew Right. Somewhere in there. Right.

1:19:01 Adam And so you would say this is it.

1:19:03 Drew Yeah. To prevent the genetic.

1:19:05 Adam Because millions of years ago, dad still had a boner left and was going to use it on the kid.

1:19:11 Drew Or the son on the mom.

1:19:13 Adam Or the son on the mom. That's right.

1:19:15 Drew And that's theoretically is something that's in us and there needed to be motivation against that very strong sort of disgust and things.

1:19:22 Adam Sort of freaked out by it.

1:19:23 Drew Yeah.

1:19:23 Guest So when people break it and do, obviously it does happen, that's just them fighting against it.

1:19:28 Drew And also, imagine what happens to the family system. I mean, you know what happens in romantic or sexual relationships already. I mean, the kind of chaos that erupts. Imagine if that's going on within a family. This is a family that wouldn't survive, the individuals wouldn't survive, you know, they can't. In nature they never would get by.

1:19:43 Guest She's my sister. She's my daughter. She's my sister.

1:19:45 Adam True. You don't know. You don't know the weirdness of when the new dad or stepmom or not even the new dad. It takes takes 10 of them before you get to the step. You got the weirdo boyfriend guy who's hanging around, weirdo, weirdo chick du jour from the office is 20 years younger is hanging around.

1:20:01 Drew So weird for the kids.

1:20:03 Caller It's just weird.

1:20:06 Adam Oh, the guy's humping your mom.

1:20:08 Guest This is your uncle. How about that choice?

1:20:13 Adam Oh, we're going camping. My mom is a hippie too. She was like, we're going camping with Uncle Zorback. He's got a micro bus. What are we doing? We're going to eat some peyote in the desert and freak out. Fantabulous. That's what, by the way, I'm scheduling a therapy for 20 years. I wish I put you down twice a week.

1:20:33 Drew Tell them what happened. Tell them what happened.

1:20:36 Adam Carbon monoxide poisoning. I could have been some, I could have been a genius. I really believe I could have been a genius had it not been for the carbon monoxide poisoning.

1:20:44 Guest You can see just the occasional bursts of what could have been.

1:20:47 Adam You see a little flash. A little flash every once in a while. Right.

1:20:51 Drew The back of the bus was open. He was sleeping back there and the exhaust was coming right in on him.

1:20:55 Guest So this is a true story about Zorback.

1:20:57 Drew Oh, yes.

1:20:57 Adam Oh, Zorback. Yeah, you can't make up Zorback. If I was a genius and hadn't been poisoned by his exhaust, I could have made that up. But instead, I have almost no creativity because of the carbon monoxide poisoning. But let me tell you, I'll tell you an important thing I learned about carbon monoxide is as far as as far as, you know, people use it to commit suicide. Perfect way to go, because you get you get tired. I was sleeping in the back of this bus, this hippie bus with like I had a screen door for like a back, you know, the back window was like a sliding screen. It was open, which you don't realize if you ever drive around a car and you open the hatch, you just breathe the exhaust of the car creates a vacuum or something, and especially old cars. Right. Which is crazy, too. Like you drive behind a Honda now, you forget what it was like back in the day. You drive behind a car, you know, that guy's running a little rich. You got to reject that carburetor. You can smell what kind of fuel the guy's burning. So you know, you get tired and then you go, I'm just going to fall asleep. And 200 miles later, you're done. You're getting you wake up, wake up dead. Oh, no, listen, if it weren't for that one trip with Zorback, I would be in some lab right now and I'd have a stick. I'd be pointing at things and I'd be asking you got to change the next line. There'd be I'd be surrounded by Indians and Asians and they would all want to know what I thought next about something. And I'd be talking. It'd be it'd be huge. Instead, it's 14 year olds who got a boil on their coos. That's that's what it's turned into. And I blame Zorba.

1:22:32 Drew It is Zorba's fault. It's your mom for bringing Zorba around.

1:22:35 Adam Oh, don't worry. She's paying.

1:22:37 Drew Oh, no kidding.

1:22:37 Adam Don't worry. Let's take a little break. Saw everyone coming out there Friday. Only R rated movie out this entire weekend. It's Halloween weekend again. And went that margarita with a box of wine. What's that, Drew?

1:22:50 Drew One R horror film.

1:22:51 Adam That's right.

1:22:52 Drew Our horror film.

1:22:53 Adam The only R horror film. He said a one R horror film.

1:22:58 Drew I don't know. A one R the only R horror film.

1:23:02 Adam Is that what you said?

1:23:03 Drew Yeah, I think I said that.

1:23:04 Guest It's the Calvin monoxide.

1:23:05 Adam Wow. Come on, Drew. What's your excuse, by the way? Your parents stay together. You didn't get monoxide poisoning.

1:23:11 Drew I'm having to do that.

1:23:12 Adam All right, buddy. Let's take a little break. We'll be right back.

1:23:16 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline. Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

1:23:26 Loveline is brought to you by Sprint.

1:23:42 Adam Hey, yo, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, Cary Elwes here tonight, along with Leigh Whannell. And these guys are both involved starring in, and Leigh wrote the new movie Saw. We just had a screening out here, and we had some very excited young fans just to make their way into the studio. Although I'm guessing these guys seem more frightening than the movie could ever be.

1:24:07 Drew Those are K-Rock.

1:24:08 Adam Oh, really?

1:24:09 Drew All right.

1:24:10 Adam Employees. All right, I'm gonna take the escape pod out. They came in, they were excited, they saw the movie tonight. What did they say, Drew? I was making number one.

1:24:21 Drew People were out of their seats the last 10 minutes of the film. And there was people yelling at the screen so much.

1:24:27 Adam White people. Wow. Oh, maybe. Okay, well the point is everyone was out of their seat.

1:24:36 Drew Everyone was out of their seat yelling at the screen.

1:24:37 Adam That's whites. That's right. That's Asian. That's right. Where's the board?

1:24:41 Guest I'll tell you when I realized this movie was officially happening was only a few weeks ago when they played us the television trailer and The Voice of God was on there.

1:24:49 Guest That guy, it was like, critics recalling saw the scariest film of the year.

1:24:54 Guest Yeah, that guy. The Voice of God. He's like a walking money factory. Every trailer, every, what's the guy's name?

1:25:00 Guest I don't know, but he does everything.

1:25:02 Guest He's like, in a land before dying in the world. But when he comes on and critics recalling saw the scariest film of the year.

1:25:08 Guest It's awesome.

1:25:09 Adam Yeah, it's, you know, you've arrived. It's really like if you're a fighter and Michael Buffer says, let's get ready to rumble. It means you've arrived. That's, that's, that you've arrived. Wow. Wow. It's like, wow. It's like Anderson, right at rock. Hey Anderson, do you have my, what's my trailer? Remember the guys from Arrested Development that came in here?

1:25:36 Drew Oh yes.

1:25:36 Adam And one of the guys did a lot of voiceover stuff for like Dodge and did a lot of TV voiceover work. And we did the, in order.

1:25:45 Drew Hatch.

1:25:46 Adam Hack. In order for Hack. Do you have that Anderson?

1:25:49 Caller In order to reach these kids, Hack will have to become a rapist.

1:25:55 Adam So that was my idea. Maybe this could be another movie here. This is my movie idea. It's a guy, it's every TV trailer is this week on Hack. In order to catch a counterfeiter, Hack is gonna have to become a rapist. Everything ends with rapist. You'd think he's gonna say counterfeiter, but it turns out he loves rape so much. And it's every every week.

1:26:20 Caller And this week, in order to catch an international jewel thief, Hack is gonna have to, and then it'd be rapist. Everything's. Rapist.

1:26:31 Adam It's wrong.

1:26:31 Drew I bet these guys would appreciate your theory on rape.

1:26:34 Adam Well, it's not a theory.

1:26:35 Drew Well, your description of rape.

1:26:36 Adam Well, I mean, it's a fact. It's an act.

1:26:38 Drew It's not a violent act.

1:26:40 Adam It's not a sexual act.

1:26:41 Drew You've heard that, right?

1:26:42 Adam It's not.

1:26:42 Drew Rape is a violent act against women.

1:26:44 Adam It's violent. It's violent.

1:26:45 Drew It's not a sexual act. Nothing sexual about it.

1:26:47 Adam It's a violent act. But you know, you come. But it's no, it's no different. No different than if I just clubbed Drew over the head and came, but no different than if I, you know, went into a liquor store and just robbed it and violently, but you know, came and then took the money. And it's no different. I understand, Drew.

1:27:07 Drew Same thing.

1:27:07 Adam It's an act of violence.

1:27:08 Drew Ejaculate, ejaculate.

1:27:10 Adam Yeah, you come. But it's violent. That's the point. That's my point. All right, Drew, are you done offending? Can we move forward? It's not a, it's not a sexual.

1:27:19 Drew Not violent, but you do. You ejaculate.

1:27:22 Guest It's a violent act that involves come.

1:27:24 Adam That's right, that's right.

1:27:26 Drew Not sexual.

1:27:27 Adam Not sexual. Not sexual, nothing sexual about it.

1:27:29 Caller How dare you think it's sexual?

1:27:30 Adam When did it, by the way, I don't know when it, that became popular about 10 years ago, that decree had to go down. Like, I think it is sexual for the guys who are actually having the orgasm. Of course it is. It doesn't make it right, but it's, yeah, it's sex. It's not consensual sex, it's not loving sex. It's a crime, but why do we have to do that?

1:27:48 Drew Like, pretend it's something that it isn't.

1:27:49 Adam Yeah, it's incredibly sexual, I'm guessing, for the guy who's doing it because he can't stop, you know?

1:27:55 Drew It's like saying pedophilia is not sexual, zoophilia is not sexual. People that have distortions of their sexuality, that is sexuality to them.

1:28:03 Guest What do you call it when someone's turned on by killing, just by killing, not by...

1:28:08 Drew Again, that is a sexual perversion, and that's the same kind of stuff. Yes, it's a violent act, but it's this kind of sexual thing for them.

1:28:15 Guest It's like Jeffrey Dahmer, he enjoyed drilling holes in people's heads and pouring the boiling water in, but he was sexually turned on by it.

1:28:23 Adam We gotta go to phones.

1:28:24 Drew Drew, this is the guy that wrote that goddamn film.

1:28:27 Adam I know, wrote it. Lived it. It's a documentary.

1:28:33 Guest Great So Calling Saul, the scariest film of the year.

1:28:37 Drew Where's that pod you were talking about?

1:28:41 Adam Mike.

1:28:42 Yeah.

1:28:43 Adam You're 22?

1:28:44 Caller Yes, I am.

1:28:45 Adam What's up?

1:28:46 Caller Well, I had a couple of things. I just wanted to say hey, Doc, to Cary. I'm an ex-Civil War reenactor and I thought that's got to be one of the best movies, Glory, that depicts a Civil War that I've ever seen.

1:28:57 Adam Oh, thank you.

1:28:58 Drew You're gay. He's what kind of actor?

1:29:00 Adam He was an ex-Civil War reenactor until he took a pretend musket to the sternum and had to pull out.

1:29:10 Drew Where did you do this?

1:29:12 Adam By the way, you hang up your fake-

1:29:14 Drew At 22?

1:29:15 Adam Your fake musket and in your knee-high boots at 22? By the way, this is something you're supposed to get into when you're like 50.

1:29:25 Caller I moved away from where I used to do it, so-

1:29:27 Drew Really?

1:29:28 Guest Which regiment were you part of? A certain regiment or something?

1:29:31 Caller Yeah, I started off in the 79th New York, the Scottish Highlanders, then I switched to cavalry. The 2nd Massachusetts, which is also the first California regiment, the Cal 100 out of San Francisco. And then the 2nd South Carolina Sharpshooters and ended with the 1st Marine Corps Presidential Detail.

1:29:54 Guest Wow.

1:29:55 Drew So you played both blue and gray?

1:29:59 Caller I had to. I'm from the South.

1:30:02 Guest I had to do it a little bit.

1:30:03 Guest So did you get really involved in it, where you like traveled in a pitch tent? Because I met a lot of these guys in pitch tents and feed themselves around campfire and the whole thing. Show you pictures of their wives that were done in like, old tint-a-chrome pictures and stuff.

1:30:19 Drew Big things of hair, their wives.

1:30:22 Caller I didn't do that. I did use to wear. I pitched my A-frame and everything, but I never went back East. I've eaten hardtack, but I much prefer steak. I'm not into the hardcore stuff.

1:30:33 Adam Right, right. Isn't it freaky though, like when your sergeant is dressing you down and saying that we got to make Bunker Hill by nightfall and you're like, run, we're going to work on Monday. And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about, Private.

1:30:51 Guest People don't realize how dangerous it is. It's like, no, Chad, I'm General Lee.

1:30:55 Adam Right.

1:30:59 Caller That's another reason why I got out of it. It gets way too political and people just...

1:31:04 Guest I shot you. You should be dead, man. I shot you three times already.

1:31:08 Drew Yeah.

1:31:09 Guest Is there much inter-re-enactment people dating going on? Just trying to bring it around to the sex thing? Is there much, you know, is there a lot of love happening within these groups? Is it a good social...

1:31:19 Drew In the A-tents?

1:31:21 Guest It's kind of a carny atmosphere.

1:31:22 Guest I never got into it, but yes, very much so.

1:31:25 Adam Oh, I mean, I bet the chicks rival those at the Renaissance Fair in the Pigfactor.

1:31:34 Drew Is there any other country... It's got to be brutal where people do that?

1:31:37 Guest Oh, sure, they do it in England.

1:31:39 Guest In Australia, they have the medieval thing.

1:31:41 Guest In England, they do the Civil War thing, the English Civil War. These guys come out, muskets, the whole thing.

1:31:46 Caller Really?

1:31:47 Adam It's nice to know, actually.

1:31:49 Guest I'm sure they do it every France, Germany. I'm sure they all do it, you know?

1:31:52 Caller Well, I don't know about France.

1:31:53 Drew France.

1:31:54 Guest Yeah, the French are doing it daily, just living.

1:31:58 Adam Yeah, Jean-Claude, you didn't lay the arm down correctly. We put it down and then we drop it and hands up. There you go. Perfectly. Single file. Perfect.

1:32:09 Guest If you were going to reenact a period, maybe Adam, which one would you choose? If you had to be a part of something.

1:32:15 Adam For me, I go World War II. I got the street sweeper, I got the Tommy gun. That's rat patrol all the way. I got the helmet with the net in it. Not sure why, but the net's in there. And I'm firing rounds off into the air. Yeah, we're dug in in the beach, you know? I'm on the talkie with the huge day of call in air support.

1:32:35 Drew Talkie weighs about 40 pounds.

1:32:38 Guest The LA police call it, there's a man on Venice Beach dug in firing rounds. We have a suspect, a 211 in progress.

1:32:45 Adam He's got a mortar that's made of a plastic PVC piping. It's not going without a fight. He's just dropped a bean bag into it, he's waiting for something to happen.

1:32:54 Guest So anyway, what's your question, man?

1:32:57 Adam Oh yeah, World War II, yeah, oh man, P-51 Mustang flying overhead.

1:33:05 Caller They do World War II, re-enacting Irvine.

1:33:07 Adam Gotta get out there.

1:33:08 Guest They'll do anything in Irvine.

1:33:10 Drew All right, so man will get into anything, anywhere.

1:33:12 Guest I went into the Pixies in Irvine last time.

1:33:15 Adam Any excuse to get out of the house. So Mike, so the question is, what?

1:33:21 Caller Okay, my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, he's actually British, so Cary might know about this, but I hope not. He gets off popping like beach balls.

1:33:31 Adam Popping what?

1:33:32 Caller Like kick balls and stuff, and I wanted to know what causes such a weird f-ed up fetish.

1:33:37 Guest What do you mean, he does that during sex?

1:33:40 Caller No, he doesn't even have to have sex to do that. He gets off on watching people pop a ball.

1:33:48 Guest You mean he like ejaculates when that happens?

1:33:51 Caller I didn't go as far to ask that much.

1:33:55 Guest What's he popping the ball with?

1:33:56 Caller He just watches in his hand.

1:34:00 Guest He needs help, clearly, the guy's got some issues.

1:34:03 Drew It's hard to really, no one knows specifically or explicitly what causes fetishes. You know, they still argue about why people get preoccupied with feet and they get preoccupied with SNM type fetishes, but the fact is something happened when he was growing up that was overwhelming and very sort of arousing to him and it may be terrifying to him and it gets converted into something, a source of arousal in adulthood.

1:34:27 Guest Popping beach balls, though.

1:34:29 Guest What's the weirdest one you've heard of, Liam?

1:34:31 Adam There you go.

1:34:32 Drew I mean, I can't think of any, over here are some weird ones. They're all pretty standard.

1:34:38 Adam Beach ball ones, aren't they?

1:34:40 Caller I like it when a beach ball is popped. That's when I really get turned on. If there isn't a beach ball involved, I'm afraid I can't be involved myself.

1:34:49 Drew I think you'll find that.

1:34:50 Adam I like the fact that he figures about 80 percent of people from England are involved with this fetish.

1:34:55 Drew 80 to 90.

1:34:56 Guest I've never heard that before.

1:34:58 Adam You don't come from a long line of beach ball.

1:35:00 Caller There's a whole contingent of beach ball poppers where I come from.

1:35:03 Adam His crest is a guy sitting on a, actually puncturing one with an erect penis. That's his family crest.

1:35:09 It started when we went to Batlin's on a nice, lovely summer afternoon in the freezing cold water off Cornwall. When the beach ball headed my way, and it burst overhead. And at the same time, I find myself absolutely ejaculating. It was extraordinary. And now, I have to have a beach ball in the room every time.

1:35:36 Adam I'll tell you this, he is the Benny Hill of... Yeah, I was going to say, yeah, but no, it turns out you're from the same place.

1:35:44 Drew I think one day we're going to find that there are sort of characteristic things that can happen during development because there are only so many fetishes and something happens, some sort of source of terror, and it becomes a visual focus for males. I think it pretty much only happened to males, these weird fetishes.

1:35:59 Adam Women don't have that.

1:36:00 Drew And it converts into something as they mature. It's very hard to understand. I wonder, it makes me think, I wonder if mom was pregnant or something weird, some kind of weird, some image that got converted.

1:36:11 Guest I hear you saying the word weird a lot.

1:36:13 Drew It is weird, but it got converted into some sort of thing about balls. Who knows?

1:36:18 Adam I'm just thinking about the stark contrast between the Civil War play and then coming back to the harsh reality of it.

1:36:28 Guest Now is this guy a friend of yours? Who's your girlfriend's ex-boyfriend?

1:36:33 Caller This is my current girlfriend's ex-boyfriend.

1:36:36 Drew Is he an OK guy otherwise?

1:36:38 Caller I think he's pretty asked up. He works for a German porn company. There you go.

1:36:44 Adam Be honest. Be honest. We've got to take a break. Do you ever use the powder horn on the old lady?

1:36:54 Caller I never had to use one of those. I had rolled cartridges.

1:36:57 Adam I meant on the old lady. They didn't use the horn, they used the rolled cartridge.

1:37:04 Guest Between the German porn and the beach balls and the Civil War reenactment, you've got a strange circle of friends.

1:37:09 Guest So this guy's hanging out still with your girlfriend?

1:37:13 Adam He's gone.

1:37:14 Drew He's hung up.

1:37:15 Adam By the way, you know how long it would take me to load a musket with a charging regiment coming at me? Hour 20, hour 30 minutes. Fiddling, things falling off.

1:37:26 Guest That's when you get the dressing down from the sergeant.

1:37:28 Guest This is what I love about the right to bear arms. When that was written, they were firing these muskets. I couldn't hit you from here.

1:37:36 Drew Same thing as an automatic banana clip.

1:37:38 Adam Oh yeah, same thing. 70 round banana clips, same with the cop killer. That's what the founding fathers had. That's what they wanted. Alright, we'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this.

1:38:03 Caller Love Line is brought to you by Bravo. Watch the 100 scariest movie moments this week at 9-8 Central on Bravo.

1:38:11 Adam Hey everybody, it's Loveline. That's Dr. Drew, Jimmy Eat World in here tomorrow night. Cary Elwes in here tonight and Leigh Whannell also. I got that right, right?

1:38:25 Whannell.

1:38:27 Adam No, it's not Whannell. Whannell.

1:38:28 Whannell.

1:38:29 Adam Yeah. The name of the movie is Saw. And we had some people that were so excited about seeing this movie. They came in here and had to give props to Cary and Leigh, by the way.

1:38:41 Drew They had to sign little doll versions.

1:38:44 Adam Excited. Just got done seeing a screening, a special K-Rock screening of it. And people yelling, screaming, vomiting in the aisles, making.

1:38:56 Guest Screaming for their money back.

1:38:59 Adam Making. Your soul comes out like soft swirl when you see this movie. Absolutely. And rated R, everybody.

1:39:09 Drew Only one. Did I say it right this time? Yeah, you did. Only one. Only four films this weekend.

1:39:15 Adam This Halloween weekend. And I do mean it. And I made my Margarita analogy earlier. But I do feel like it's like if you're going to like it's like seeing a porn movie that's rated, you know, R and C 17 or something.

1:39:28 Guest Do you ever watch the sub porn on the hotel?

1:39:31 Adam Let me think. Yes. Thousands and thousands of hours.

1:39:36 Drew I thought that would insult your sensibilities. Well, first off, break the TV.

1:39:42 Adam There's a time when it's all I had. Oh, yeah. So what are you going to do? Is this a prisoner insulted that you give him bright grass?

1:39:48 Drew I don't mean to bring that period of reliance on them. Sorry.

1:39:55 Adam No, of course I've moved on.

1:39:56 Drew Of course.

1:39:57 Adam Man, if I move on, it's weird.

1:40:00 Drew Adam has a bunker of porn. Oh, it's carefully guarded. He has to put his face into this scanning device and let me in.

1:40:09 Adam I've had problems.

1:40:10 Guest I'm going to try and break in there doing that Tom Cruise Mission Impossible thing where I lower myself down.

1:40:15 Drew Many times, many times. He's got laser devices.

1:40:17 Adam It's awesome. And by the way, let me. Oh, here's another one of those movie conventions that I think never actually happens. You know, I'm obsessed with these things where the guys like there's a horrible storm at sea and then wakes up the next morning on the beach, passed out.

1:40:32 Drew Or washing up.

1:40:33 Adam What happened? I washed up. I must have I must fall asleep. Twenty nautical miles out.

1:40:39 Guest Eighty knots.

1:40:40 Adam Swells. Yeah, hypothermia. And I just wake up on the beach. OK, that's one thing that never happens. But the other thing, you know, they start crawling through ducting. This happened in Mission Possible. First off, I can't imagine air ducting is that well lit from the inside. I imagine it to be a dark place. I couldn't see financially, you know, like when you're building a commercial building, all right, we need lighting for inside the docking. Phil, are you high? Let's take the rest of the week off. No, we don't need lighting inside the docking.

1:41:12 Drew It's got to be big enough to handle two people.

1:41:13 Adam It's got to be big enough. And a 300 pound black man is going to be a little lower. A 200 pound man with a cable down the thing. But I've built many, many, many places. The ducting is held on by thin strap that's fired into the cement slab that's above it on the floor. Couldn't hold anything. Barely holds its own weight up. It's like a mobile hanging over a crib.

1:41:35 Guest The great thing about Mission Impossible was they get in there and it's like Fort Knox, it's guarded, lasers, you got to get through finger scans, eye scans, and then they get into the duct and there's a rat in there. That's what upset the rat running loose in the duct.

1:41:46 Adam Well lit, well spacious duct. And by the way, it just becomes a way, almost a form of transportation, this duct. Like you just, well, you want to get to that, you want to take the hallway, you want to use the duct.

1:41:56 Drew Oh my gosh, it's just a laundry chute.

1:41:59 Adam Yeah, just kick the thing out, hop in the thing. I would say it has been utilized in 150 movies, but once in a while, a prisoner wiggles through something, but that's about it. Yes? Yes. And it's got to be filthy, by the way. Look at your air condition. It's got all that soot and all that crap stuck in. It's always squeaky clean. It's like, you know when you put a little dust in there?

1:42:21 Guest The CIA have squeaky clean air ducts.

1:42:23 Adam That's right. It's polished chrome. It's well lit.

1:42:27 Guest Even the rat doesn't leave any mess behind it.

1:42:29 Adam No, it's no rat crap. Come on.

1:42:31 Guest All right.

1:42:32 Adam I'm glad. That's not in Saw, is it?

1:42:34 Guest Write the script with the first realistic duct.

1:42:38 Adam It could be a duct scene where the guy looks in it, he can't see anything, he climbs, he starts to climb up into it and the whole thing collapses. And he's caught in torture.

1:42:47 Drew There you go.

1:42:48 Caller The Chicago Sun-Times is calling it the greatest duct scene ever produced in film.

1:42:53 Guest They're calling it Duct Wars.

1:42:56 Caller Run. Don't walk.

1:42:57 Adam If you're a fan of ducting or any HVAC work at all, any forced air heating. It is the HEPA filter of Duct Work movies. Oh my God. Look what time it is, Drew.

1:43:09 Drew Oh, you're enjoying yourself so much. We got to take a break.

1:43:11 Adam I'm really enjoying myself.

1:43:12 Drew Jeff wanted to talk about anal sex.

1:43:14 Adam Jeff. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. The anal ship sex is sailed. We're out of time. The USS bunghole is a sail. We got it. We're out of time. I'm sorry, sweetie. We just got to take a break. That's all.

1:43:28 Drew Let's do that.

1:43:29 Adam All right. We'll be right back.

1:43:30 Guest All right, guys.

1:43:31 Drew Bottom line.

1:43:32 Caller Here's the deal.

1:43:34 Guest Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

1:43:36 Caller One call is all you need to make. Call the dateline.

1:43:38 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:43:44 Caller Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:43:46 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:44:02 Adam Well, that's the show, everybody. I want to thank Cary and Leigh for coming in here tonight and be in delights.

1:44:11 Guest Thank you for having us.

1:44:12 Guest Thanks for having us, man.

1:44:12 Adam Our pleasure.

1:44:13 Guest Thanks, guys.

1:44:14 Adam Our pleasure.

1:44:14 Guest Can we change some lives? Oh, yeah.

1:44:16 Caller Oh, yeah, absolutely.

1:44:18 Adam Co-C Saw coming up this Friday, everyone. R-rated, big Halloween weekend. Forget that grudge, knock it right off its high horse and replace it with Saw. All right, God bless it to you. Come back anytime, any projects, any movies. We'd love to have you. Jimmy Eat World tomorrow night. Until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:44:43 Guest Earning, looting the streets of Boston overrun by rioters. Once again, the fruit of peace has become the jam of war. I'm Azim Akram, BBC News, as Boston burns.

1:45:00 Caller The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, October 27, 2004