Episode 1000653273797

0:57 Voiceover Online is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:20 Voiceover Hey everybody, it's Loveline. That's Dr. Drew. I'm on the phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. And tonight our guest is Marsha Thomason. Marsha is from Las Vegas. Not from Las Vegas, but it's on Las Vegas. When she starts talking, you'll realize she's not from Las Vegas.

1:39 Marsha Thomason Definitely not from Las Vegas.

1:40 Adam She's from Ohio. Leena, pull the mic toward you there, Marsha. Thank you.

1:46 Marsha Thomason How's that?

1:46 Adam Now, right in there. Put it right. That's how we like it.

1:52 Drew Good Lord.

1:53 Adam Now, Marsha is from Manchester, England.

1:57 Drew What? They said Ohio. Kentucky.

2:01 Adam I read it here. I wouldn't have guessed it. I didn't know that. Born and bred in Manchester. Went out with a girl from Hounslow once.

2:08 Marsha Thomason I did not.

2:09 I did.

2:10 Adam See, they all have a great sense of humor. They all have that same sense of humor.

2:15 I'm telling you. It's good.

2:21 Adam Marsha?

2:22 Yeah.

2:22 Marsha Thomason All right.

2:23 Adam Now you live, you split your time between England and here now, right?

2:27 Marsha Thomason No, I live here.

2:27 Adam You're here full time.

2:28 Marsha Thomason Yes.

2:29 Adam Yes. Shouldn't have read that.

2:31 Drew Scratch that off.

2:31 Adam Scratch that off. Good. And you work with our dear, dear friend, Nicky Cox.

2:36 Marsha Thomason Yes, I do.

2:37 Adam And Josh Duhamel. Molly Sims, dear, dear friend. And James Kahn, dear, dear friend, even though I've never met him. On Vegas. And what are we in? Season 3?

2:48 Marsha Thomason Two.

2:49 Adam Really? That's it?

2:51 Marsha Thomason Yeah, sorry.

2:52 Adam It seems like...

2:53 Drew It's been around a while, but...

2:54 Adam Did it replace something mid-season? Is it like two and a half or something?

2:58 Marsha Thomason No.

2:59 Drew I think there was a half year build up.

3:00 Marsha Thomason It's one in six episodes is what it is.

3:02 Adam Is that what it is?

3:03 Marsha Thomason And we didn't replace anything. We were just there on our own.

3:07 Adam It feels like a perennial. It feels like some all-star that's been in the league for many years.

3:13 Marsha Thomason Oh, that's nice.

3:13 Adam Marsha also was in the Haunted Mansion opposite Eddie Murphy, which I didn't see, but I swore I was going to do it. You got kids.

3:22 Drew Of course, of course.

3:23 Adam Remember Marsha? You do? Want to say something nice?

3:26 Drew It's a good film. Yeah.

3:27 Adam Well, that's just say something nice about Marsha.

3:28 Marsha Thomason What about the fact that I had a really brilliant American accent?

3:30 Drew I was just thinking about that. I was thinking, I wonder if you do other accents too. You know, absolutely no way you could tell that she had a British accent. In fact, as the bubble over my head, what thought bubble was, how did she do that?

3:43 Marsha Thomason How do you really, really good?

3:46 Drew How do you make your accent?

3:46 Adam You got to be good. But how did you know? You didn't know when you were watching it that she was a British actress.

3:51 Drew No way.

3:52 Adam What do you think is harder, going British or going from British to Yank?

3:55 Drew I can't imagine how you go Yank. How do you even do that?

3:58 Adam Well, like my girlfriend used to say things like water.

4:02 Drew Right. It always sounds so exaggerated. It sounds like they're making fun of it.

4:06 Adam Yeah. I think she was. How do you do it? Can you give us a little bit?

4:10 Marsha Thomason Absolutely not. Under pressure, I'm just rubbish.

4:13 Adam All right.

4:13 Marsha Thomason Well, give me a whole film crew, Eddie Murphy and, you know, cameras and stuff and I'm fine. But you guys, it's too much pressure.

4:19 Adam All right. Well, we won't look at you, but we'll pop in and out of it.

4:22 Marsha Thomason All right.

4:23 Adam Throughout the night. Let me say something that I don't know if they have this problem in Manchester or not, but I was driving in tonight. You know how I'm going insane in general about all the graffiti everywhere?

4:33 Drew Yes.

4:34 Adam Because when I was growing up, there would be graffiti on places where there should be graffiti. Such as old buildings, walls of old buildings and alleys and things like that. I'm now seeing them on curbs and trees and rocks and trees.

4:48 Drew Every really flat.

4:49 Adam I really have seen them on turtles. Rocks.

4:55 Drew If things don't move, it's going to get painted.

4:57 Adam You understand that they now like up in the hills where they have some of these big boulders and some of these areas where like there are these look out off a mall hall and whatever. There actually is a crew that has to paint the rocks because people have written on them. Yeah. And you know where else to write on all the freeway signs. Every freeway sign. And so either you so what you have is either the tagged freeway signs or you have the razor wire. The spools of razor wire going around it. And as you drive down the freeway and you see the razor wire draping off of the freeway sign, it just makes you think of those apocalyptic movies. It's like escape from New York kind of movies. Like this is the future.

5:39 Drew Yeah, we're there.

5:39 Adam Somehow there's razor wire hanging off everything. And I thought, it's sort of a minor bummer just when you drive around, just makes you think unhappy thoughts when you see barbed wire hanging from freeway signs and stuff. Makes the place look like a sort of concrete jungle kind of thing. And I thought, you know, and I don't know if they have that in Manchester or not. I'm sure they have, I'm sure they have graffiti.

6:03 Marsha Thomason Oh yeah, they have graffiti.

6:04 Adam Do they have to put razor on freeway signs?

6:06 Marsha Thomason No, we don't do that.

6:07 Adam Yeah, it's weird.

6:08 Marsha Thomason I'm sure we will be in about five years.

6:11 Adam Well, you guys are way behind. And I don't even know how they get to it. And by the way, how come no one ever seems to spot them? You never hear any of those PSAs talking about this, by the way. CHP makes an announcement every few weeks about cracking down on speeders. They never say anything about the people.

6:29 Drew They have. I've seen that.

6:30 Adam You have? You've seen them. What do they say?

6:34 Drew I forget the sort of theme, but it's something that at least doesn't...

6:38 Adam You've got to pair it where they go, Officer Bird wants you to put down the spray can. But they never do anything.

6:43 Drew No, no.

6:44 Adam And how many of those PSAs? You saw one when you were nine. You don't see them anymore.

6:48 Drew It seemed like they had a campaign about it about 10 years ago. You know what I mean?

6:53 Adam I'm just saying they got cameras every goddamn intersection. How about focusing on this just a little bit? Can't stop guys from crawling up. They're well lit signs. They're in the middle of the freeway. There's a guy standing there with the spray can. He's not a Caltrans worker.

7:06 Drew And by the way, it's not like they're just putting a big question mark. They're works of art. They're like huge landscapes.

7:11 Marsha Thomason I'm kind of fond of graffiti artists. I'm sorry. I'm kind of fond of the rebel.

7:16 Adam Yeah, but here's the thing. I don't I don't mind the movie version of the graffiti artist because the guy's actually an artist. What we have is just just scrawlings on these on curbs on rocks. It's just all over the place.

7:30 Drew Here's what gets me. I have my office is in a small office building with four other offices.

7:35 Adam Yes.

7:35 Drew And in the elevator, one floor elevator to the parking lot, somebody took and put their initials in a dark, you know, not erasable pen on the side of the wall. I think he is. What would that do?

7:48 Adam Oh, well, you can't don't use logic.

7:50 Drew I mean, the impulse is becoming so pervasive now. It's like now whatever I see in empty space, I must put a couple of letters.

7:56 Adam It is on stop signs, on street signs, on fire hydrants.

8:00 Drew People are going to see it where it is like a sign that's understandable. But the impulse now includes everything.

8:05 I've always thought it was like wolves or dogs like leaving their mark.

8:09 Drew Oh, absolutely. That's the same. It's a very all I'm saying.

8:13 Adam Let's start.

8:14 Drew Let's start paying on.

8:14 Adam No, let's start caning.

8:16 Drew Caning.

8:16 Adam Let's start. Caning.

8:17 Drew It's a good idea.

8:17 Adam Caning a nice ass whooping with a cane. I got no problem with it.

8:21 Drew There's no graffiti in Singapore.

8:23 No, no. You get a nice caning.

8:25 Adam Nothing wrong with a good caning and then a little buggering.

8:29 Marsha Thomason Well, I'd say ass and buggering.

8:31 Adam Yeah, well, we don't know.

8:32 Marsha Thomason I feel very at home.

8:33 Adam We don't know what buggering is.

8:34 What is buggering?

8:36 Adam I know what buggering is.

8:38 Marsha Thomason And I think they know what buggering is.

8:40 Drew No, I don't know what it is. I'm not kidding you. Help me.

8:44 Adam Well, it's like what it's like humping in England, except for I think and stop me from wrong. I could give you a good buggering, right? But it would be better. It'd be more applicable if we were in...

8:58 Marsha Thomason If you two gave each other a buggering.

8:59 Adam Yeah, it's a gay thing.

9:03 Drew Yeah, that includes the rear.

9:05 Adam I could give you a buggering, right? And I'm not sure. Could I give Marsha a buggering?

9:09 Marsha Thomason Yeah, but it's not the same thing.

9:11 But I take it like any partner storm, you know.

9:14 Marsha Thomason Pretty much.

9:17 Adam So a buggering is like...

9:19 Drew She doesn't say buggering. How do you say it?

9:21 Marsha Thomason Boogering. I'm from the north of England, remember? People in London say buggering.

9:26 Drew They say buggering.

9:27 Adam Thank you.

9:27 Marsha Thomason I say buggering.

9:30 Adam So buggering is what lads in English schools, like grade nine, would do to each other.

9:36 Drew Yes.

9:37 Adam I'm sure there's a lot of it going on. You went to a prep school, Drew.

9:39 Drew The buggering doesn't include the mouth. It includes the...

9:42 Adam No.

9:42 Marsha Thomason Yeah.

9:43 You got it.

9:45 Adam But here's a question. Is it all butt love?

9:49 Drew That's what she said.

9:51 Marsha Thomason It's all about the butt love.

9:52 Adam It's all about the butt love. Which, if you do it in a different cadence, it's all about the butt love. You know what I mean? It would work, but it would work, too. Las Vegas, everyone. NBC, 9 o'clock, Monday nights. We'll get to the phones. Little caning.

10:10 Drew I'm with you.

10:11 Adam Hey, listen.

10:11 Drew Absolutely.

10:12 Adam And by the way, here's how we sell it. It's a safety thing. It's four in the morning. Your kids are crawling around over the freeway. Literally hanging on the freeway. It's going to fall, go through someone's windshield.

10:21 Drew By the way, digging through the razor wire.

10:23 Adam Yeah.

10:24 Little caning.

10:25 Marsha Thomason Or a good boogering.

10:26 Adam Or a good boogering.

10:27 Hey, not to break it again, guys.

10:28 But I am. Remember the guy Chaka?

10:30 Drew Do you remember Chaka from back in the day?

10:32 Chaka was one of the first ones and he was everywhere. And it's like legend now that that guy, he's out, but he's not allowed to have a ballpoint pen. He's not allowed to have any kind of writing instrument at all.

10:40 Drew Well, if you remember, he went to court and then as he's walking out of the courtroom, tagged him.

10:44 He couldn't help himself. He was Chaka.

10:47 Adam Yeah. And we went busted a kid for for tagging our garage once.

10:52 Drew Really?

10:52 Adam Yeah. It's like a it's like a bad movie for this poor kid. We walked down a site. We're living in North Hollywood. Walked out our garage at Egbert on the back of our garage and Egbert, Egbert, Egbert is a booger and huge letters. It's Egbert. Yeah. And so we were outraged. We're like, oh, who did this? So we knew hooligans throughout the city. I know. But OK, we're going to get to that.

11:16 Drew So you and Huggy Bear got out in the street.

11:17 Adam We all, all my friends, we jumped in our car and we went to this one guy's house. It was like this kind of has quasi gangbanger guy, sort of knew everything. And while we're going to his house, we saw him driving away. So we followed him for like four or five miles. Eventually, my friend Snake yelled at him and he got scared and he pulled over. And we grabbed him and they said, who's Egbert? And he said, this guy named Greg Besner. And I said, Craig Besner? I know his brother Stuart Besner. And they said, I know where he lives. We went over to the dude's house.

11:46 Drew How do you know?

11:46 Adam I know it's North Hollywood. It's not big. Knocked on the guy's doors. Mom answered, said, what's up? So I think your son did some graffiti. He said, he's in the shower. And then the dad said, you're missing some cans of paint from the whatever. I sat down in the living room. This was the following morning. He went out, did the tagging Saturday night. This is Sunday morning.

12:05 They're like, Greg, get in here.

12:07 Adam He comes out. He's like drying his head off with a towel. Yeah, mom. He's just saying there's a bunch of strangers in his living room. And her mom goes, did you tag on this guy's garage last night? And he goes, uh, yeah. And they started yelling at him. And that was it. But I thought to the guy, like this guy, what crazy justice he must have thought like one night he's out. He's out the night before tagging a random alleyway five miles away from his house. The following day, there's a bunch of people sitting in his living room.

12:35 Drew That scene for me highlights the thinking that people have in our culture about the normalcy of deviance. It's like he's a normal kid. He's a normal guy. I sat in his living room. His mom just came. That's a normal family. The guy is an a-hole. This is why the neighbors described the murderer next door as a great guy. Because people don't assess one another. They don't know how to do that.

12:56 Adam Well, he wasn't a gang or anything. I knew his older brother. He painted the whole alley. No, he's not a gang now.

13:02 Drew But he's a mess now.

13:03 Adam No, we intervened and we nipped him in the bud. Oh, please. I've done worse than what he did. It just wasn't right. Like what? Boogering? A little boogering. All right, come on, Drew. Let's go. Let's focus. Let's do the show. Let's break it down. Marsha, clap your hands now. Let's go. There we go.

13:21 Drew She's never played football, so she wouldn't have played. Well, they play American football.

13:24 Marsha Thomason I don't play American football.

13:26 Adam Let me tell you something about soccer.

13:28 Drew You must choke on that word.

13:30 Soccer.

13:30 Marsha Thomason Yeah, I don't say that.

13:31 Adam You don't like it.

13:32 We call it football.

13:33 Adam Football over across the pond there is fine, except for in American football, we get fired up. We get dives, they get in a circle, they start going, they start yelling at each other, they start smacking each other in the head, they bang each other head, and they start screaming about their house, and no one comes into our house, and that kind of stuff, and they go nuts. They get themselves worked up into a fever pitch, and then lose, oftentimes. But they get completely worked up, and you guys, you don't have to break it down. You know, they get a hand in. Let's go now. Let's get fired up. Come on now.

14:09 Let's go, Marsha. I think they do.

14:12 Marsha Thomason I think they just do it in the privacy of their own dressing room. Maybe we're just not as ostentatious. And what's with the clothes, anyway?

14:19 Caller Which clothes?

14:20 Marsha Thomason The head gear, the pads, the butt pads, everything. No wonder they're all running at each other, because they're so protected.

14:26 Adam Well, the butt pads are for the boogering. To avoid it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Christy?

14:32 Yes?

14:33 Adam You're 16?

14:34 Caller Mm-hmm.

14:36 I'm reading you guys' book that you made a couple years ago. It's really funny.

14:43 Adam Thanks, baby doll.

14:44 Yeah, I always do think it's really funny, too.

14:46 Caller Good.

14:47 Yeah, so on Monday, I was having sex with my boyfriend. And, um, I guess, yeah, the condom broke towards the beginning. He didn't, like, have time to, like, come or anything.

14:58 Drew He was?

14:58 So, yeah, it broke, and then, like...

15:01 Adam He didn't have time.

15:02 Yeah, it was before he could do that. It was about 15... We noticed it was broken about 15 seconds after it happened. So, I don't know, like, is that... Could that endanger me in getting pregnant or not?

15:15 Drew Well, he didn't ejaculate, right?

15:17 No.

15:17 Drew And how long had you been having sex before it broke? How long were you... Had you been having sex before it broke?

15:24 Adam 15 seconds.

15:27 Drew No, 15 seconds after it broke, they noticed it.

15:29 Oh. Yeah.

15:30 Adam How do you know... I know, Drew picked something up for the first time, but wait a second. How do you notice something 15 seconds after it happens if you didn't notice it when it happened? How do you know when it happened?

15:41 Drew It just feels different. They feel... It pulls it out. Oh, I see.

15:45 Adam That would be immediate. I mean, maybe it's like getting a flat tire for the first eighth of a mile you think you're running on rough road.

15:53 Drew All right, anyway. Christy? Reality is you're probably OK, but as you know, there are emissions that can come out before ejaculation. So if you want to be completely safe, you want to take that morning after pill.

16:06 It's been over three days now.

16:10 Drew Well, tonight it's three.

16:12 It was Monday, right?

16:14 Drew But you can actually take that up to five days. You're supposed to take it within three for it to be optimally effective. But you can take up to five.

16:20 Adam Marsha, they have that in England? That morning after pill?

16:23 Marsha Thomason Happen, they do.

16:24 Adam They do. Now not the abortion pill, the morning after pill.

16:28 Drew They have it over the counter.

16:31 Adam Shocking.

16:32 Marsha Thomason They have it over the counter.

16:34 Adam In England. They do. They're just more evolved over there. I think they tend to do what makes sense. We're here like a native tribe. We got a lot of superstitions and stuff. They just sort of read a book, look at some data, and then do what makes sense.

16:52 Drew We have to stand by historical ideas, ideologies.

16:58 Adam Here's the problem with this country. Here's why you should have never moved here, Marsha. There's a handful of a-hole loudmouths that sort of run it. It's really, 90% of the country is sort of decent. They're just trying to get through their lives. And then there's the letter writers who write letters and complain. And they bring lawsuits. And so the countries basically, they're the sand that gets dumped into our gears. We have a magical labyrinth of gears. Everything works fine. It's just a teaspoon of that sand and everything starts getting clogged up and not running well. And then everyone, and by the way, then we all fall under suspicion. Oh, it's like the airport. We all got to get strip search. Hey, old lady, take your shoes off. You know, a couple of A-holes, boom, stops everything, right? Oh, white. Oh, caning. Got to start the caning. Start caning people, write bad letters, caning taggers, caning guys that don't turn right on the red when it's clear.

17:54 Drew Just caning.

17:56 Adam Just a caning.

17:56 Drew Why don't you just get your own caning and start whacking people?

18:01 Adam You're going first, though, Drew. I got a cane.

18:03 Marsha Thomason That's something I love about America, by the way, that you can turn right on a red as long as it's clear. We don't do that in England. I mean, we'd have to do the left, what with us driving on the wrong side of the road. But I love that.

18:14 Adam I do, too.

18:15 Marsha Thomason God bless America.

18:17 Drew Not all America does that.

18:18 Adam Too bad only 20 percent of the population knows that.

18:21 Drew That's a state by state law.

18:22 Marsha Thomason Oh, I didn't know that.

18:24 Drew Most of it have adopted it, but I think Massachusetts still doesn't.

18:27 Adam No, there's plenty. New York doesn't have it.

18:29 Marsha Thomason They don't?

18:30 Adam No. Yeah, which is great for us because it's nothing but people from other states who you're driving behind who are here on vacation. Of course, they're adhering to the rules of whatever the state they've been driving in for the last 40 years. What about a little ad campaign for that, too? Huh?

18:46 Drew Yeah.

18:47 Adam Well, something.

18:48 Drew Marsha hasn't gotten the idea. She hasn't really been exposed to how different state by state mores, attitudes, laws are. Each state's very different.

18:57 Adam We're wacky over here. Like, you know, you can have sex with a nine year old in no state taxes in Nevada and gambling in Vermont. They have to be in their 40s before they can have sex.

19:10 Drew And it's all all of that.

19:13 Adam It's really ridiculous. It's like, well, horse racing's legal here, but dog racing isn't legal here. But we can play pie gal poker here, but we can't play 21. But we can't bet on football. But we can play the lottery. Oh, you want to play lottery? We don't have it in this state. You go to state and they got Indian game.

19:32 Drew It's bad here in this state.

19:33 Adam It's bad. It's clearly wrong.

19:35 Drew Eagle.

19:36 Adam As wrong as the right hand turn is in New York, is as wrong as dog racing is here. It's stupid. And then there's a state where it's like, well, we can't gamble on land, so we'll take a river boat. We'll put it on pylons and we'll park it in the parking lot and we'll pour a teaspoon of water around. They can go gamble on that. There's some water around it. What's wrong with this country? You know, here's how this country works. People make retarded rules and then people work around those rules with stupid things. And that's where you get the barge that's moored out in the lake, so you've got to go gamble on the barge.

20:10 Marsha Thomason Where's that then?

20:12 Adam Mississippi, yeah. I've got them like Kansas City, places like that. I could let me show you my United States. We just travel around while I complain.

20:22 Drew He might try to booger you though.

20:24 Adam Light boogering every once in a while.

20:26 Light boogering.

20:27 Adam Light boogering. Just a gas boogering. Like, hey, this tank ain't filling itself, baby. That's all I'm saying. Light boogering, but mainly in education. Here's the Grand Canyon. I'll take you out to Lake Powell. We'll go to Yosemite. Show you like Half Dome. Bend over. Been like 20 minutes. We've covered a lot of miles. Boogering tour. It'll be awesome. I'll take you to Mississippi. That's boogering country, too, by the way. It is? Oh, yeah. Mark Twain used to write books about boogering. Famous author.

21:05 Caller I don't want to spoil it.

21:09 Adam Let me show you my America. It's off to England for some more booger.

21:13 Drew Another call. Come on, Lisa. 18.

21:19 Adam Lisa. Yes. 18. What's up?

21:26 A few nights ago.

21:27 Drew You're lucky.

21:28 Hi, Adam.

21:30 Drew Hi.

21:30 Adam What's going on? Here we go. Break it down.

21:33 Drew Yeah.

21:35 A few nights ago, I was at my friend's house and we're getting stoned and we drank. I guess I don't remember, but the guy, he told me that he took advantage of me.

21:49 Drew You don't remember. So you drank so much you blacked out?

21:53 I fell asleep.

21:57 Adam You drank so much that you fell asleep. You passed out.

22:00 Drew You passed out. And you were sufficiently deeply unconscious that somebody could have sex with you and you wouldn't wake up?

22:07 He said he tried to have sex with me, but it wouldn't go in.

22:13 Adam Well, why do you think he told you that?

22:16 Because I've known him for a really long time.

22:21 Adam All the more reason why I wouldn't tell you.

22:23 Drew And why do you think you didn't wake up if you only drank a little bit?

22:28 I didn't...

22:30 Caller No, I drank a lot.

22:32 Drew Yeah, you were completely... No.

22:39 Adam And so what's the question?

22:41 So like today I just got done peeing and then I wiped myself. There was some weird like goopy a little clunk of like goopy stuff. Clunk of goopy stuff.

22:59 Drew Is your period coming up? Is your period coming up?

23:03 Is what?

23:06 Adam I'm just like talking to a quail.

23:10 Drew She holds it just half a beat long enough to make you uncomfortable.

23:14 Adam What's wrong with her? Is she angry? Is that what it is? Or is she just stoned? The guy didn't do anything.

23:21 Drew Or maybe he did. Did he apologize at least?

23:24 Caller I'm going to find out.

23:27 Drew The alcohol consumption is a sufficient problem or concern that you really need to look at that. If you're blacking out at 18, if you have a family history of alcoholism, I would seriously look at that. Number two, you may have had sex with a guy. You've got to get that morning after pill. There's a discharge now. The discharge you're describing...

23:43 Adam Why would he bring it up?

23:44 Drew I don't know. But the fact is she has a funny discharge, although the way the discharge you're describing is not one that is typically that of an infection. Usually they're either yellow or malodorous or thin milky discharge that we weren't talking about.

23:57 Adam All right, hold on. Lisa, I need you to pick up the pace here. Can you do that? Yes. Okay, here we go. Were you ever victimized, abused, grown up? Yes. All right, that's what I'm hearing. Yeah. And what, sexual abuse?

24:11 Caller No.

24:12 Adam Physical abuse?

24:13 Caller Yes.

24:14 Adam You got a caning and a light boogering?

24:17 Drew Basically.

24:18 Adam Who physically abused you, your dad?

24:20 Caller No.

24:21 Drew Mom?

24:22 Caller Yes.

24:22 Drew Mom? Mom beat you.

24:24 Adam Your mom beat you. All right. All right.

24:27 Drew That's why we're not getting that horrible hostility that we're used to.

24:30 Adam We're just getting under something angry about her, something off about her.

24:33 Drew Right.

24:33 Adam Okay.

24:34 Drew The deal is you've been victimized. You probably have a freeze response when people threaten you. And God knows when you're intoxicated, that makes that all even worse.

24:42 Adam Yeah, and this guy is not your friend.

24:46 Drew But you need to go to Planned Parenthood to see a doctor just to make sure he's doing something.

24:49 Yeah, I just want to know like if I could be, if he like come to me and... No.

24:55 Drew That's not what you found.

24:56 Adam I don't think so because he wouldn't have said anything to you.

24:59 Drew But he may have been in you and that would be enough to make you an infection. And enough to make you pregnant.

25:03 Adam Nobody bring it up. All right. Anyway, this guy's a borderline criminal, Lisa. You don't need to be hanging out with him, all right? A little therapy for the beating your mom gave you.

25:13 Drew That's what I'm saying. So if she gets involved in the system, let them look at her and maybe refer her.

25:18 Adam You know guys see chicks passed out in this country and it's like a bear just seeing a station wagon parked with the window cracked open or something. What's going on in there? Let's see what I can get.

25:31 Drew Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

25:32 Adam Horrible. Horrible country. Horrible. Marsha Thomason is here tonight. Marsha's from the show Las Vegas Monday nights.

25:41 Drew We're leaving on a tour of America, Adam's America.

25:44 Adam That's right.

25:44 Drew Shortly after the show.

25:45 Adam Yeah. You know where we're going to start?

25:50 Drew I knew that's where you're going.

25:51 Adam Actually, we might go through Palm Springs. I go through Palm Springs and then it's Maranova. We're going to go to a Hadley's Date Forum. We're going to get you a date shake. Set the mood.

26:03 Drew Look at the thermometer in Zizek's.

26:04 Adam Oh yeah, the world's biggest thermometer over there.

26:07 Marsha Thomason The world's biggest thermometer.

26:08 Adam Yeah.

26:09 Drew You actually haven't been to Las Vegas.

26:10 Adam Yeah.

26:11 Marsha Thomason I have been to Las Vegas.

26:11 Drew You haven't driven there. You haven't driven.

26:12 Adam You gotta drive there. I haven't shown you my Vegas.

26:15 Marsha Thomason That's right.

26:16 Adam You've seen your Vegas. I gotta show you my Vegas. I will take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Marsha Thomason is here tonight. She's in a little show called Las Vegas, second season on NBC, Monday nights, nine o'clock. James Cahn, weird guy, strange guy?

27:05 Marsha Thomason No, he's brilliant. I love him. And often, you know, you get asked about your co-stars, and you have to lie a little bit. But this is one person I don't have to lie about.

27:14 Drew The rest, I'm just lying about, though.

27:15 Adam Yeah, yeah. Josh Duhamel, yeah, you gotta lie your ass off with that kid. Yeah, so he seems, I don't mean this in a bad way, but it seems he seems a little nutty. Is he nutty?

27:26 Caller Is he a little nutty?

27:27 Marsha Thomason Yeah, he is a little nutty, but we all are, I think. I don't think he's anywhere. And I think he's been nutty. I think he's in a much calmer phase.

27:34 Adam Oh, I see. He's on the other side of like Nut Mountain.

27:37 Drew Nutville, yeah.

27:38 Marsha Thomason I have so much fun working with him. He's such a laugh.

27:40 Adam Yeah, it's kind of nice, actually, to catch guys, especially most guys start mellowing in their thirties. But then nutty, nutty guys have a lot of energy. Well, they're their fifties. And then if you can catch them a little bit past that, they're just experienced now. They're just seasoned. They were nuts five years ago.

27:57 Drew I got lots of good stories.

27:58 Adam Oh, yeah.

27:59 Marsha Thomason Great. Raccoon Terry's a great stories.

28:02 Adam He had someone like a fall off the balcony of his condo or something. Someone jumped out of his balcony and died like five, eight years ago. Westwood. Yeah, I don't know what it says. Somebody.

28:15 Drew Yeah, I remember that.

28:16 Adam Don't ask about that. I'll get uncomfortable.

28:17 Drew Speaking about jumping out of a balcony after someone, last night we had Christy Canyon in here and John from System of the Down called in and offered up Adam a few of her classics. And Adam, Anderson VQ up the sound of the paddle foot.

28:33 Adam I never did get hold of John from System of the Down yesterday. So if, you know, I'm going to give him a... Oh, he's going to Vegas. He's going to Vegas today.

28:45 Drew Go. Now.

28:46 Adam I got to go. Are they done with that bullet train? Where's the bullet train? You know, so anyway, he's in Vegas and I could be back for a few days.

28:53 Caller Has he already left?

28:54 Adam I've got to call him.

28:54 Caller I'm going tonight so I can grab a...

28:56 Caller You left?

28:56 Adam Oh.

28:57 Caller If he brings it with him, I can bring it back.

28:59 Adam And then I'm going to need you to keyster it and mule it back. I know there's no border between here and there, but they do have that backyard fruit sign.

29:05 Caller No, but if he's already left, then it's too late. But if he hasn't left, I can pack it up and...

29:10 Adam He's already left. I think he said he was leaving for Vegas today.

29:13 Marsha Thomason Aren't we going to Vegas after the show?

29:15 Adam No, absolutely.

29:16 Drew Now, another part of Adam...

29:17 Adam So, also, we got a VCR in our room. I got to do what I got to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But don't worry.

29:22 Drew What else do you got to bugger?

29:23 Adam I'm going to be caught up in the VCR, so don't worry. Yeah, you'll be in the shower. I'll be buggering myself. I can do it. No, no, hold on a second. I want to know when they're going to finish that bullet train to Vegas. They've been working on it since I was in high school, by the way.

29:38 Drew Any day, any minute.

29:39 Adam It would be awesome.

29:40 Drew Any minute.

29:40 Adam So, you live out in Los Angeles, right?

29:42 Marsha Thomason Yeah.

29:43 Adam And Vegas is not filmed in Vegas, but some of it's filmed in Vegas, or are exteriors shot like the pool has to be shot in Vegas, right?

29:52 Caller No?

29:52 Marsha Thomason No. They shoot that in Marina Del Rey.

29:54 Caller Oh, they do?

29:55 Marsha Thomason It's all an illusion. It's just a mirage.

30:00 Adam I would have thought that the pool, you know, it seemed like a tough one to fake, must be a nice hotel in Marina Del Rey.

30:05 Marsha Thomason Yeah. I can't remember which hotel it is, actually, but we shoot at all different hotels.

30:09 Adam Oh, really?

30:10 Marsha Thomason Different pools, different exteriors.

30:12 Adam Yeah. Right. So, nothing in Vegas?

30:14 Marsha Thomason We go there every now and then. We went there for one hideous week in August, the exteriors were like, one-fifty.

30:21 Caller One-fifty, yeah, it was just, it was vile.

30:23 Adam I know.

30:23 Marsha Thomason It's so funny, you cut to the interiors and everybody's really glamorous and then we walk out the doors and you cut to the exteriors and we're just dripping.

30:30 Adam It was a glass furnace. I know, I know, because I had explained that to one of my cab drivers when I flew in somewhere around August, you know, 119 degrees. And he was like, whenever they hear you're from LA, they start talking smack. Every cab driver who's in Vegas used to live in LA and they're like, yeah, I used to live out in LA, but, you know, gang violence, mudslides, torrential rains, corrosive smog, earthquakes and potential for terrorist attacks. I moved. I'm like, a hole. Yeah, I'm going back in 14 hours. I got a house there. So I didn't move out here. I didn't move into the Bellagio. I'm coming. I'm going for a night. Then it's back to the home where the family is in the dreadful Los Angeles. What kind of decorum is that? Talk about how horrible it is. But then they go and by the way, no one has any kind of pride or any kind of decorum when it comes to Los Angeles. Like if somebody says, oh, I'm from Pittsburgh. Oh, I hear that's not I hear it's nice. He tried to try to muster something.

31:31 Drew LA people just hang their head like, oh, what a dive.

31:34 Adam What happened? What's going on? You got to get out of there. So I'm so we're driving. He's telling me what a dump Los Angeles is. And I said, OK, I'll be it. It it it may be a dump. But if this cab breaks down, we die. We can't walk 200 yards in a hotel. We will buzzards will be circling us. You understand? OK, so at least we don't die if the cab breaks down like it's shot halfway home. But we don't we don't we don't die of exposure.

32:02 Marsha Thomason It's funny because they're telling people you live in LA in England has the exact opposite effect. They're like, you do? Oh, my goodness, that's so glamorous.

32:09 Adam They think you think you live like in between celebrities.

32:12 Marsha Thomason Did you actually go to Melrose Place? What's it like?

32:16 Adam Yeah. Well, that's all they know.

32:18 Drew Yeah.

32:18 Adam I could show them my LA.

32:20 Marsha Thomason No.

32:21 Adam Let me show you my North Hollywood.

32:24 Drew Your Van Nuys?

32:25 Adam I'll show you my Van Nuys, too.

32:26 Drew Adam has special music.

32:27 Marsha Thomason Encino?

32:28 Drew Adam loves this certain kind of music.

32:30 Adam This is this is what we're going to be listening to, by the way, as we crisscross this great country of ours on our extended road trip. No, I'm just going to give her a little hint.

32:38 Drew Yeah.

32:39 Caller Give us a little taste.

32:40 Marsha Thomason Exclusively.

32:48 Caller Yeah.

32:48 Adam That's all we listen to for thousands of miles.

32:51 Marsha Thomason I don't get it.

32:52 Adam That's my music.

32:54 Caller That's my rules.

32:55 Drew A hanker. We got to play.

32:56 Adam It's my car. No, no, no, we're not. We're taking some calls. Later on, we'll play my accordion countdown. It's a game that's sweeping the nation. I'm surprised it hasn't made it over to England yet.

33:06 Drew How long after the music starts before the accordion kicks in?

33:10 Adam It's interesting. It's strong. I was soundly beat by Pornstar last night and then Drew beat her.

33:18 Drew Killed you guys.

33:18 Adam Drew destroyed us with like three seconds. Liz? What's up? 26.

33:25 Yeah, I'm 26. I was talking to some friends recently and I actually kind of have over the past several years and the subject of masturbation has come up and it's come to my attention that I think it might be kind of strange.

33:40 Adam Hold on. Speaking of masturbation. John from System of a Down is calling. John? What's happening? Are you in Vegas yet?

33:49 I'm calling you straight from the crazy doors too in Las Vegas, Nevada.

33:53 Drew Did somebody call you and tell you we were talking about you?

33:57 Somebody called me and said you were lying in a car so I called in. I told you I was in Vegas and I told you that yesterday?

34:03 Adam Yeah, you did.

34:06 Caller All right. Well, here I am.

34:13 Adam You're in the crazy horse too in Las Vegas?

34:18 My favorite.

34:18 Adam Oh, that is.

34:19 Ship joint in Nevada.

34:21 The crazy horse too.

34:22 Adam Beautiful. Yeah. Well, John, I'm going to send Ziggy out there to pick up the tape.

34:30 You got to come out yourself.

34:32 Adam All right.

34:32 Drew All right.

34:34 All right.

34:35 Adam Now, you're coming back in a couple of days? Maybe.

34:41 Drew I'm glad to hear you guys are working hard on that new album.

34:44 Yeah.

34:44 Drew You guys are really, really putting in time in.

34:47 I deserve a break like anybody else does.

34:49 Adam Yeah. Oh, so you're just over there partying? You're just having a good time in Vegas. You guys aren't playing or anything?

34:56 No, no. Tonight is one of my good friends' basher party.

34:59 Adam Perfect.

35:00 And so I should.

35:02 Adam It just bit a nipple.

35:05 Marsha Thomason It just boogered someone by mistake.

35:07 Adam Yeah. You better tip her right, John.

35:10 All right, you be back.

35:12 Adam All right, John, get back to the boogering. We appreciate the call. Give my love to all the crazy horseians over there. And God bless you for calling in.

35:22 You know I will.

35:23 And it's funny how things get around.

35:25 I got a phone call, call in right away.

35:27 Adam That's right. Well, thanks, buddy. I was going to say emergency.

35:31 If you want to go out and get it.

35:33 Drew I know we're good.

35:34 Adam We're good, John. I was this close to sending up the jack signal, but we'll just use a cell phone. That's the way to go.

35:40 Drew Thanks, buddy. A porn emergency.

35:42 Adam Yeah. Porn emergency. I am having a porn emergency. That is wonderful. I have a cell phone technology. Hey, what? All right. Where are we? We're talking to Liz.

35:52 Drew You broke in there.

35:55 Adam You know, you know, bachelor parties are great because it's really the bachelor party of whoever has the most money. You know what I mean? Well, what I mean is, is technically one guy is getting married, but the quality of the operation. The guy, the guy, no, the guy is getting married is usually, well, he's getting married. He's of that mindset. You know what I mean? There's, there's always a guy who's five years older and who's never been married, who has a ton of cash on him. It turns into his bachelor party, plus the guy's getting married. He's getting married. He can get, you know, he can get a little, little whipped with a feather duster, but he can't go in the next room and, you know, do the buggering thing.

36:33 Drew Whatever.

36:33 Adam Then there's a single, there's a guy who's divorced, who's just sold his.com business, got tons of money, is ready to go. You see what I'm saying? Guys, guys, and guys will take over other guys bachelor party. They'll get drunk. They'll just make a trip by the ATM and next thing you know, it's their bachelor party. Yeah. Good times. Yeah.

36:53 Drew Yeah.

36:55 Adam 26? Nothing worse than a pathetic bachelor party.

36:59 Drew What's that mean?

37:00 Adam Just a sad one. You know, a bunch of guys. I went to a bachelor party once where it's like literally the guy, well, this is my accountant and this is my pool guy. And this is like the bachelor party of the guy doesn't really have any friends.

37:13 Marsha Thomason We have a term for that in England, Billy no mates.

37:16 Adam Oh, Billy no mates.

37:17 Marsha Thomason Billy no mates.

37:18 Adam He's got no mates. It's sad.

37:20 Drew But this guy's got mates. They're just boring mates.

37:22 Caller No.

37:22 Marsha Thomason No, there is a accountant and his manager.

37:24 Adam They're not his mates.

37:25 Caller They're on the payroll.

37:28 Adam Yeah. They're on the payroll. Stop being so contrarian all the time. He's got no mates. He's got the guys who work for him. They have to show up. They're on the payroll. Oh, my God. It is. We all just sat around. You know, you sit in a room, you drink like a lukewarm beer and it's like went to a strip club.

37:44 Marsha Thomason How did you fit into it?

37:45 Drew I was going to say who you were.

37:47 Adam Who was I? I think I was the guy's dentist.

37:50 Caller I'm not sure.

37:52 Adam No, I was the guy's friend. I think I was the guy's only friend and everyone was like a wuss and they just sat on their hands and their wallets. Is this a comedy writer? I went home early. No, no, this is years ago. This is this like 15 years ago. Yeah, it sucked.

38:06 Marsha Thomason Yeah, but it was your bachelor party.

38:08 Adam No, mine was good. Yeah. Yeah, Drew wasn't there.

38:12 Drew I know.

38:12 Adam It was good.

38:13 Drew Yeah, but I'm still upset about that bachelor party.

38:15 Adam Yeah, very upset.

38:16 Drew You know why? Because it was like Friday afternoon and Jimmy goes, all right, we're going to Tahoe.

38:20 Caller It's like, oh, no, you got less.

38:23 Drew I got like a five day warning on that.

38:25 Adam Please.

38:25 Drew Seriously.

38:26 Adam Puss, you promised me you'd go.

38:28 Caller I wanted to go.

38:28 Adam If I ever got married.

38:29 Drew I wanted to go.

38:30 Adam Screw you.

38:31 Drew I mean, create another one for you.

38:32 Adam Yes. Liz.

38:34 Drew We'll do it. We'll do a baby shower for you.

38:36 Adam No.

38:36 Drew It will include a bachelor party.

38:37 Adam Liz. You're 26.

38:40 Marsha Thomason She's 28 now.

38:42 I've gained a couple of years.

38:45 Adam We've got to go to break though. You're right. Marsha is a smart ass. They're all smart over there. That's why I like them. Yeah. They're saucy. They're they're they're they spar with you. They're sharp. They got a good brain over in England. They develop the brain.

39:02 Drew They develop it early.

39:03 Adam Yeah. And they have a little sharp tongue over there.

39:06 Drew Respect for the language.

39:07 Adam That's right. Yeah. Here it's like, oh, hey, dude, girls calling other girls, dude, and they're like, he done cummed in me, dude. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Let's let's take a break.

39:27 Drew We'll get to Liz in a second.

39:28 Adam We'll get to Liz in a second. Marsha, hang tight. We're Vegas, by the way, on NBC Monday nights, nine o'clock. Take a quick break.

39:37 Drew Be right back.

39:37 Adam Be right back after this.

39:40 Caller 800-LOVE-191.

39:44 Adam Drew, guess how many terrific scents the odorant body spray comes in?

39:51 Caller No, more.

39:52 Drew Nine.

39:56 Adam Anyway, seven is enough, right? That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Marsha Thomason is here tonight from Las Vegas, NBC, 9 o'clock Monday night. And you know, Carrie Elwes is coming in next week, who I've never met, I don't think. Jimmy World's coming in, and we think, what's her name is coming in, who's coming in? What's her name? Osmore, Kelly Osmore, yeah. But Carrie, I never know, say his last name, Elwes, Elwes, Elwes.

40:52 Marsha Thomason He's English.

40:54 Adam Yeah, he is.

40:54 Marsha Thomason He's one of my lot.

40:55 Adam He's a good-looking kid. It's been a lot of good movies, and I always want to meet him. Never mind. Drew, any thoughts? You have no idea what I'm talking about.

41:03 Marsha Thomason You've seen The Princess Bride.

41:04 Adam Come on, buddy.

41:06 Marsha Thomason He's the good-looking, the guy.

41:07 Adam He's the princess.

41:08 Drew He's the princess.

41:09 Adam I mean, he's the bride. I mean, you know what I'm saying?

41:11 Drew He plays Julie Andrews.

41:12 Adam He's the dude. Come on, Drew. Come on. You know what I'm talking. You've seen the guy, right?

41:17 Drew Probably.

41:18 Adam Oh, Drew. You know, any celebrity who took an elevator trip with you would just get out and kill himself.

41:23 Drew Yeah.

41:24 Adam It's just when you're feeling pretty good about your career, there's Drew, huh? And you do what? So you do? So you're the assistant to the? No, I am the guy.

41:31 Drew By the way, by the way, that same guy would say, yeah, I've been to your show three times. All right.

41:38 Adam And oh, yeah, pray you don't run into Drew somewhere.

41:41 Marsha Thomason And I'm just going to ignore him.

41:43 Adam Ignore him, please.

41:44 Drew Don't don't think I'm ignoring you.

41:45 Adam No, no, no, we just. Yeah, there's trouble.

41:49 Marsha Thomason Oh, that's all right, then.

41:50 Adam Liz. You're 26.

41:54 I am 26.

41:55 Adam All right. You began masturbating in by having an organ age nine.

42:01 Yeah, I done come to when I was nine.

42:06 Adam You know, when if that's normal.

42:08 Well, and I was also wondering, I mean, I guess it's probably makes sense because I developed really early and got my period right around then, like fourth grade. And. Yeah. So and ironically, I was a major tomboy and didn't want to have anything to do with it at the time. But I wonder if it was just hormonal or if I'm just I don't know.

42:27 Drew I've talked to people and I, you know, you can understand that the women's orgasmic response is all over the place. Some women never have orgasm, can't masturbate. I mean, most don't have with intercourse. You're one of these folks that it probably is pretty easy for you. You're lucky. Yeah, you're lucky. And of course, it's going to turn this whole system is sort of coming online when the hormones are coming on. Now, for many women, again, the orgasmic function doesn't occur until maybe 10 or 15 years later. That just doesn't sort of hook up.

42:54 I've talked to so many people, yeah, who aren't even able to orgasm or who never have, no matter what, you know, or more probably don't or can't, right?

43:03 Drew They can't with masturbating because it doesn't make sense.

43:05 Doesn't seem right or or oral or anything.

43:09 Adam Is it coming on earlier? Are, you know, periods coming on earlier?

43:12 Drew No, they're not. People believe they are. But if you actually look at the data, it's the pre period changes, the hair growth and the breast growth that's coming on, which is actually mediated not by the ovaries, but by the adrenal gland. And that may be more of an indicator of stress than any kind of hormone circulating.

43:27 Adam Kids growing up too fast.

43:29 Drew Or under stress.

43:30 Adam Yeah.

43:30 Drew Trauma.

43:31 Adam They're like worrying about their weight, they're worrying about their grades, they're watching, they're worried about terrorism.

43:38 Drew They're in destroyed families, beginning sexually abuse, getting the crap beat out of them.

43:42 Adam True, don't judge.

43:43 Drew We can't judge. It's a cultural thing.

43:46 Adam We can't judge. We cannot judge.

43:47 Drew Impossible. It's all beautiful.

43:49 Adam The point is, is this then brings on the breast and the hair and all that kind of stuff. Meanwhile, the period is starting when it starts.

43:55 Drew Sorry, 11-12 usually. That's where it's been for like 200 years. That's more of a nutritional issue.

43:59 Adam Those are prime pedophile years, by the way.

44:02 Drew The 8-12?

44:03 Adam You know, boobs coming in the periods and I know it sounds, I'm not a pedophile.

44:07 Drew But you're a practical man.

44:10 Adam I realize we have a lot less in the show. And then what about menopause? Is that set back further? Is that coming off at the same time? What about people being in better shape living longer? You know what I mean? Like back in the day, menopause meant you died five years later.

44:27 Drew Well, menopause was sort of genetically programmed to occur around the time of a life expectancy.

44:32 Adam Oh, it was? Yeah, we just weren't going to go beyond that.

44:35 Drew Or if you went to 30, it was a big deal.

44:37 Adam We can't get another harvest out of your field, sweetie. You're going in the ground. And now, you're just living.

44:44 Drew We live way past that.

44:46 Adam Interesting.

44:48 Marsha Thomason I got my period for the first time in the theater.

44:50 Adam In the theater?

44:51 Marsha Thomason I was 14. I was in the theater. I was in a white costume.

44:54 Adam Oh, my.

44:55 Marsha Thomason But I love that I was in the theater. That's a great story.

44:58 Drew You were on the stage or you were watching a show?

45:02 Marsha Thomason No, I was on the stage. I went to the restroom and I was like, What?

45:05 Adam And you were in a white costume.

45:08 Marsha Thomason I was playing a sailor.

45:09 Caller Oh, really?

45:10 Marsha Thomason I was in a white costume. And it was the matinee performance. And we had a late night performance, which happened once in the whole run of the show. I had to wear the costume again later. It was a huge disaster.

45:21 Caller Wow.

45:22 Adam Wow. It's like a tampon commercial.

45:24 Marsha Thomason I was clearly meant to be an actor.

45:28 Caller What were you doing?

45:34 Adam What were you doing? I mean, what was the production?

45:36 Marsha Thomason It was a pantomime. You guys don't do pantomimes, do you? What, at Christmas time? No, no, no. Pantomime is like a show that they have. They run from November through February. And it's like a Christmas thing. And the kids go, and it's like, it's like high camp. There are like men dressed up as women. They play the dames. I think it was Dick Whittington that I was doing. So a woman plays Dick in high boots. It's very saucy. And then there's usually a big fat man playing Dick's mother or something.

46:05 Adam Now, is pantomime, like, why? I think a pantomime...

46:08 Drew He's behind you.

46:09 Adam Marcel Marceau is trapped in the box, right?

46:12 Marsha Thomason No, that's not pantomime. I'm not being very eloquent. Yeah, you know, and it's like, it's for kids. It's like, did you see where my cat went? And then the cat's behind him and then they turn around and the audience are like, he's behind you, he's behind you because it's for little kids. And they turn around and they go, I can't see... You know, it's like high camp. I was a sailor. On my period.

46:34 Adam It's funny. Kids love the... Where is it?

46:41 Marsha Thomason I guess it's behind you.

46:42 Caller Where's your tampon?

46:44 Adam It's at home!

46:45 Caller Go get it!

46:47 Adam Alright, alright. We gotta take a break. Wow. Very eye-opening stuff. Eye-opening. Marsha Thomason is here tonight. From Las Vegas. A fabulous Las Vegas hit TV series that is not the city. Monday nights, 9 o'clock NBC. We're gonna take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back with more grotesque revelations from Marsha.

47:22 Caller Hey everybody, it's Loveline.

47:25 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. We got good old American gumption over here. You know, we roll up our sleeves. We don't sit around and talk about stuff. We do it. You know what I'm saying? Marsha Thomason is here tonight. She is from the hit TV series Las Vegas.

47:39 Drew Marsha would basically sort of say that we are capable of talking about things.

47:43 Adam Yeah, that's true. Yeah, it is true. Monday 9 o'clock NBC, we're just talking about you know, how impressive England is and the educational system and all that kind of stuff. But it is interesting that this country probably does things a little less in theory and actually knows a little less about what they're doing but tends to want to go out and do it. The people who are sort of, this country never been accused of sort of living up in their heads too much or over theorizing. They just like to go do stuff.

48:21 Marsha Thomason Are you saying that's what we do in England? Because we can take this outside right now.

48:25 Adam Well, let's do it.

48:26 Marsha Thomason And I'll roll up my sleeves and show you how we get things done.

48:29 Drew I think we should do a test here by sort of matching matching wits in a game.

48:34 Adam Oh, really? Yeah, yank against breath.

48:38 Marsha Thomason I'm not into this at all.

48:40 Adam This is a good game. You're going to like this game. This is a game that when you go back to England, you're going to bring this with you. And I predict we'll catch on. Like, you know, once in a while, back in the day, like a rat would still weigh in the hold of a ship and then just go in fact to a totally different continent or something. That's what this game is going to be like for England. You understand? This is going to be the infected roach in your cargo when you go back there.

49:06 Drew Little skeptical, but here we go.

49:07 Adam No, you're going to enjoy this. You're going to enjoy this. We have music out here called ranchero music. And it's beautiful symphonic music. Everyone loves it. And it's got a lot of accordion in it.

49:23 Drew Maybe you should give an example of what your house sounds like when you guys are working around the house.

49:27 Adam Someone might say too much. Yeah, let me give you a little taste of the music.

49:32 Drew And so Adam and people are working in his house all the time.

49:34 Adam You don't have this in England. You guys aren't involved enough for this. But we have it here. That's the accordion. Now the question is, stop it, Michelle, please.

49:47 Drew I want to hear the version of your house too. I love that invitation.

49:51 Adam Do you want to know what it sounds like in the morning? Well, hold on a second. Hold on. I got to set the mood. Here's the thing. I've been building my house for about a year and a half. I have a lot of my Latino brethren over at the house building the house. They enjoy their ranchero music. And they start about 730. I come rolling down about nine. And then usually see something that I told them not to do that angers me.

50:20 Drew That is all your workers, whether they're Caucasian or whatever.

50:23 Caller You do that too.

50:26 Adam I'm equally abusive. I don't look at skin color. I just look at work. And then I start start abuse. But here's some in my bathrobe. They've been going at it for two hours, usually in the wrong direction.

50:41 Marsha Thomason And I've been going at it.

50:42 Adam Here's no work. No buggering. And here's here's what it sounds like.

50:48 Drew Come downstairs in the garage.

50:50 Adam All right, Ozzie, come here. Ozzie, I thought we talked about that you're using semi gloss. I said, I said, I said, we're going to go with an oil base. You got to go with the oil base. That's what it sounds like. Every morning. It starts creeping in and it starts destroying the cells in your brain. It's slowly losing. You realize you go from like, huh, what's that to incredibly annoyed and just just about about 10 seconds. So. We play the song and this is called Aces, Accordion Countdown. You tell us after after Michelle randomly cues it up, how long before we hear the accordion? I got the clock here. Drew, you want to? Yeah.

51:38 Marsha Thomason I'm just going to randomly give you a number.

51:40 Adam Give us a number.

51:41 Drew What do you think?

51:42 Adam How many seconds or minutes or hours before you hear the accordion?

51:46 Marsha Thomason Eight seconds.

51:47 Adam Eight seconds.

51:48 Drew It's good. That's good.

51:49 Adam That's sound may play this before another show. English.

52:08 Drew Maybe I'm Kentucky.

52:09 Adam What do you got? One second, one second, one second. Oh, because it can go immediate. You know what I'm saying? A lot of a lot of guys might go nine seconds. I'm going high. I'm going 14 seconds. Hold on. Just impress. All right. Now you're ready. You're randomly queued up and action. We're at seven seconds. Oh, there it is. You got it. Wow.

52:39 Caller Come on, England.

52:52 Adam Wow. It's like you're possessed.

52:58 Drew Let's do it again.

53:01 Marsha Thomason Oh, that's not fair.

53:02 Drew I'm going. Immediate.

53:04 Adam Do you got another song queued up there?

53:06 Drew Immediate. All right.

53:07 Adam Going there, Marsha. Drew's going immediate.

53:09 Drew Instant.

53:10 Adam What are you going?

53:11 Marsha Thomason I'm going. Twelve.

53:14 Adam Twelve seconds. Go with it. You have an impulse. You got it.

53:20 Drew You got to trust your gut. She doesn't know this.

53:22 Adam Let me tell you something.

53:24 Drew Trust your gut on this.

53:25 Adam Just listen to me. You have a gift for guessing accordion music. Not everyone has that. You understand? You've been touched by God. All right? Never question your gut. Sounds like Scooby Doo. You understand? You're saying what I'm saying? You snorted.

53:45 Drew I'm snorted. All right.

53:46 Adam Don't ever question yourself. You understand?

53:48 Marsha Thomason Never again.

53:50 Adam So you're 12 seconds. Drew's at zero. I'm going right in between. I'm going six seconds. Hold on. You ready, Michelle? And go. Go. Three seconds. Nine seconds.

54:11 Drew Right in between you two.

54:12 Adam Wow.

54:13 Drew Yeah.

54:14 Adam Wow, I want six. You want 12. We land on nine.

54:19 Drew Tiebreaker. Here you go.

54:21 Caller You need a tiebreaker.

54:22 Drew No, no.

54:22 Adam Let's take a call. Let's take a call. Drew, you're angry because you want a medium, and you got burned. That's all.

54:27 Drew I don't like that group.

54:28 Caller That's sad.

54:29 Caller I just won twice.

54:30 Adam Sour grapes. Sour grapes. Sour grapes, Drew. Big goose egg for you, brother. Let me tell you something. This guy was on top of the accordion guessing world.

54:40 Drew As of yesterday.

54:41 Adam As of yesterday. Ryan High.

54:43 Caller Fickle finger fate.

54:46 Drew It's a cruel, cruel mistress.

54:48 Adam Yeah.

54:48 Drew The accordion music.

54:49 Adam It really is. Trying to handicap accordion music is a tough way to make a living. It really is.

54:57 Drew This one. I was a few cents under this upset. Got a gift.

55:01 Adam It's a gift. Rebecca. You're 24.

55:06 Caller I am.

55:07 Adam I'm sorry we didn't get to you earlier but we have some important business.

55:12 Caller What's up?

55:13 Well, first I want to say I really admire what you guys do stay on the air.

55:17 Adam Yeah, it's important.

55:19 And I'm 24 and I've been sexually active since I was 18. I've been masturbating probably since I was 14, 15, something like that. I've had orgasms on my own pretty regularly but whenever I have sex I don't have orgasms and whenever I try to have oral sex I don't have orgasms then either. In fact, I find it rather irritating.

55:43 Drew Do you have multiple orgasms?

55:46 You know, I'm not sure.

55:47 Caller I heard you mention that on a show a few weeks ago.

55:50 Well, how would you know?

55:51 Drew No, no, that's not you then. Do you have a boyfriend? I do.

55:57 I'm actually married.

56:01 Drew Are you able to sort of guide him through his oral sex?

56:04 Just whenever he goes down there, it's like nothing.

56:13 Drew I have a suspicion it's him. That's my suspicion because the fact that she's able to orgasm relatively easily, she says one-timer, doesn't within a course she should be able to have with oral sex.

56:22 Adam Well, okay, but let me say this, feeling nothing is different than not enjoying it. So you would think that even if he was doing a horrible job, she would feel something and might be able to guide him. Yes, Marsha?

56:38 Well, he's pretty sexually experienced, he's very sexually experienced, quite the wild youth.

56:47 Marsha Thomason Well, okay, but that doesn't mean he's any good, though.

56:49 Drew No, that's right.

56:50 Adam No, but it helps.

56:51 But even like direct finger stimulation, it hurts, actually, I can't stand to have anyone touch me there.

57:00 Drew And how do you masturbate, how do you orgasm by yourself?

57:03 I mostly, I use vibrators, external vibrators, I kind of like, one.

57:10 Drew Why don't you include that in what you guys are doing?

57:13 Adam Yeah, weave that into the mix.

57:14 Drew Yeah. Okay.

57:16 Can you do that?

57:18 Adam Well, yeah, surprise, we're the first to think of that.

57:20 Drew But that's what I'm saying, Rebecca. It's almost bizarre that you haven't thought of that. It again leads me back to the point where I'm thinking, geez, she might not be comfortable expressing to her husband exactly what she needs done. They're thinking, oh, he's so experienced, he must know what he's doing. For you, he doesn't know what he's doing.

57:38 And he doesn't have a whole lot of pride in that area like, oh, well, I'm so great. He's willing to learn and listen to me. It's just that I'm probably not vocal enough. Yeah.

57:50 Drew All right. Is there anything, is there anything of any problems? Yeah, were you abused or anything we have to know about to make this?

57:54 Not that I'm aware of.

57:56 Drew Okay, so it's just really, you're uncomfortable. A lot of women have really great difficulty discussing it. They're so focused on making a man happy. The idea of turning it around and focusing on them is very difficult for some people.

58:07 Adam You don't have to really, you know, first off, it's not like, you know, you're up in the control tower and you're talking a guy down who can't fly an airplane. It's just a little noise. Warmer, warmer, oh, hot, molten, on fire.

58:24 Drew I think this guy's getting a little retooling though, I do.

58:26 Adam I know, but you're so quick to jump on this guy.

58:29 Drew I am, I am, I know.

58:30 Adam He's an experienced guy who evidently doesn't have much ego when it comes to this. She just can't tolerate it.

58:36 Drew She's not helping him. It's strange that she needs a certain something different.

58:40 Adam Yeah. Rebecca.

58:42 Yeah.

58:43 Adam What's this guy do for a living?

58:46 We're both in the Navy.

58:49 Adam What's he do?

58:50 Caller Boatswain.

58:52 He's underwater ordnance.

58:55 Adam Underwater ordnance, wow. Now he does the surface to air stuff, but he's underwater.

59:01 Drew I see, I see.

59:02 Adam That's the twist.

59:02 Something like that, yeah.

59:04 Adam And he's underwater ordnance. Like torpedoes and...

59:07 Mines, mines. Wow.

59:09 Adam All right. And what do you do?

59:12 I'm in aviation.

59:13 Adam All right. And... You guys go out on the same ship?

59:18 No, actually, right now we're stationed pretty far apart.

59:22 Adam And there's no big issues?

59:25 Other than we don't live together presently. It's, you know, nothing.

59:30 Caller All right.

59:30 Adam You sound... And let me tell you something, I hate to hate to hate to sound anti-American here. But when a young lady is in the Navy, something's wrong. Something happened.

59:42 Caller Something went wrong.

59:44 Adam Look, I get a lot of crap for this, especially during wartime. But close your eyes. Think about the guys you went to high school with who ended up enlisting. They weren't on the dean's list. You know what I mean? This is what you do. There's a very small minority of guys in the military that are actually career guys that went to the Naval Academy or West Point or something. The bulk of the guys that are in there doesn't make what they do any less important. It's just they got out of high school.

1:00:15 Caller They didn't have a lot of options.

1:00:17 Drew That's why I asked Rebecca. I'm just curious.

1:00:21 Adam Rebecca? Why did you join the Navy?

1:00:27 I wasn't sure where I wanted to go with my life. I had a couple of things happen.

1:00:33 Caller I had a baby.

1:00:35 I got pregnant about a year after high school. I gave him up for adoption. God bless you. He's wonderful. He's about to turn five. Oh my God. And I was working at McDonald's. I was happy working at McDonald's.

1:00:54 Adam All right.

1:00:55 Drew That's a bad sign.

1:00:56 Adam That's what I'm saying. This is what you do. You don't got anything cooking. It's not like, oh, your dad left you his publishing empire or you're going to go to the NBA. No, no, I think I'm going to join the Marines. It doesn't work that way. You got nothing going. You do it. That's how it works. So you're dealing with a population that oftentimes comes from little broken families, the smattering of abuse, things. Things aren't working out so good. And they're smart enough at 19 to go join up or 18 to go join up. It's other than that, it's work at McDonald's and get married, submitting and get pregnant. That's what happens.

1:01:34 Drew So you're sort of saying two things at once.

1:01:36 Adam I should have done it.

1:01:37 Drew Right.

1:01:38 Adam I was cleaning carpets and digging ditches.

1:01:41 Drew Right.

1:01:41 Adam You don't learn anything.

1:01:42 Drew But it's a good way to go.

1:01:44 Adam Yeah. But I'm just saying you're dealing with the population that is, you know, not not Harvard bound.

1:01:50 All right.

1:01:52 Adam Best country in the world right here. Best fighting force in the world.

1:01:56 Yeah.

1:01:56 Adam And you know what? They travel on their stomachs.

1:01:59 Yeah.

1:02:00 Adam Army does.

1:02:00 Drew Oh, that's right.

1:02:01 Adam Yeah. What do you mean? They say an army travels on their stomach. That's all I know.

1:02:06 Drew I think it's when I came up with that.

1:02:07 Adam I think when they're crawling underneath that barbed wire thing is what they're talking about. Yeah. Whereas the terrorists, they travel on their hands because they're on those monkey bars. We saw the monkey bars. They were shorts. They got that one piece of footage. Hey, look at them. They're on the monkey bar. Where's it? Where's that happen? By the way, you know, the plane they took over with the boxcar. Monkey bars? Where were the monkey bars? They must think the United States is one set of monkey bars. Like, how do you get from, you know, downtown Manhattan up in the upper west monkey bar? You just can't just hang on those bars like they must think they made us like a form of transportation for us. Yeah.

1:02:42 Drew That's me. All right.

1:02:43 Adam Let's get back to the phones. What do you say? Let's break it down. Let's get it on. Yeah. That's right.

1:02:49 Caller Bring it. Bring it. Bring it on.

1:02:52 Adam One for one or two for two or at least one and a half or two.

1:02:56 Drew You need a tie breaker. You guys split that one.

1:02:59 Adam Ace's accordion countdown.

1:03:01 Drew New bands.

1:03:02 Adam Look at Drew.

1:03:03 Caller He takes it very seriously.

1:03:06 Drew I'm upset.

1:03:07 Adam Venting on engineer Michelle. Venting on her.

1:03:10 Drew She's a cruel mistress.

1:03:11 Adam Sweet. He's just lashing out.

1:03:12 Marsha Thomason You won't forget me now, right? You don't remember this face now, right?

1:03:15 Adam No, yeah.

1:03:16 Marsha Thomason Yeah. Marsha Thomason. That's right.

1:03:18 Adam Yeah. The sound beating. She did play football, I think. It's going to have another period, won't you? Get fired up. Oh, yes. I've seen it happen. What do you have? Do you have something queued up there?

1:03:35 Drew I'll be the referee on this one. You guys bet.

1:03:37 Adam Oh, this is the rubber match.

1:03:38 Drew Because I'm out.

1:03:39 Caller All right.

1:03:41 Drew Ladies first, ladies first, please.

1:03:42 Marsha Thomason I'm going to say eight again.

1:03:44 Caller Eight seconds.

1:03:45 Adam I go nine. I'm over. And then I get anything over anything under is just screwed.

1:03:50 Drew And you know, that's right. Cheryl music.

1:03:52 Adam And I'm going. I'm going. I'm going seven. On seven.

1:03:55 Drew I guess the bed. All right. Go ahead.

1:04:02 Adam It's in.

1:04:02 Drew That's it. That's it. That's it.

1:04:04 Adam We got to win. We got to win. Yeah. All right. Immediately. See, Drew, you would have gone in immediately.

1:04:21 Drew Absolutely.

1:04:23 Adam But eight. Good call. Good. Good. Solid call.

1:04:26 Marsha Thomason You win some. You lose some.

1:04:27 Drew She's human after all.

1:04:32 Adam Twenty-three? You've been married for two months. You have sex with your wife, but you can't orgasm?

1:04:42 Sometimes. It happened about a dozen times.

1:04:45 Drew How long have you been dating her?

1:04:48 Dating her for six years.

1:04:49 Drew And you guys have been having sex most of that time?

1:04:52 Nope. Not until we got married.

1:04:54 Drew So it's been two months.

1:04:55 Marsha Thomason You waited all that time.

1:04:56 Adam Wow.

1:04:57 Drew And are you on any medications? Nope. Any medical problems?

1:05:02 No, none at all.

1:05:03 Adam Whose idea was it to wait, hers?

1:05:05 Both of ours.

1:05:06 Adam Oh, so you're religious?

1:05:08 Yep.

1:05:10 Adam What's your religion?

1:05:12 Which? Covenant.

1:05:15 Adam Yeah.

1:05:16 Covenant.

1:05:24 Adam And you guys have been having sex?

1:05:29 Yeah.

1:05:29 Adam And you guys have been having sex? And now you guys are married. And so you've only been having sex for two months.

1:05:33 Drew When you masturbate or when you were sort of trying to not have sex with your wife, you were masturbating, I imagine, yes? And would it take a long time for you by yourself?

1:05:44 No, not really. Not too much.

1:05:47 Drew Do you feel nervous or anxious when you're with your wife?

1:05:50 No, not at all. Quite comfortable. But it seems like when we try to have sex at a faster pace, which is what she needs to reach orgasm, it just doesn't work for me.

1:06:05 Caller Well, there you go.

1:06:07 Adam But it has worked a number of times, right?

1:06:09 Oh, yeah.

1:06:10 Drew This is that work it out phase. There's still that work it out phase. You gotta work it out. It takes a while to work it out.

1:06:16 Adam Plus, you guys, and I gotta say this to Marsha…

1:06:21 Drew It can take you six more months to grease it.

1:06:24 Adam And that's what I'm saying to Marsha. When we hit the road…

1:06:26 Drew The booger road?

1:06:27 Adam When we hit the boogering highway? Don't expect us to, you know, mesh, you know, in California or Nevada or even Arizona.

1:06:36 Drew He's just managing expectation.

1:06:37 Adam Yeah, what I'm saying is we'll start hitting our stride like a dance couple, like a couple that hasn't worked out. We'll start hitting our stride around the middle of the country.

1:06:47 Drew By the time you hit those…

1:06:48 Marsha Thomason The big country?

1:06:49 Drew Yeah, those riverboats in Missouri, Mississippi.

1:06:52 Adam Well, that might be a little early, actually. Yeah, somewhere around KC, I think I'm going to start coming into my own. And then that's going to be fast freefall after that, though, because I start tapering off pretty quick after that, too.

1:07:05 Drew He returns to his usual pace.

1:07:07 Marsha Thomason Geez, you really sold it to me.

1:07:09 Adam That doesn't matter because I have endless… I have an MP3 player with 13,000 Ranchero songs that I… I use a cassette adapter. I hook it right into the stereo and we'll just…

1:07:22 Marsha Thomason We can just play this game.

1:07:23 Adam We'll be listening. We'll be playing accordion countdown all the way across the country. It'll be awesome.

1:07:29 Marsha Thomason I imagine it's a lot of pressure to be with someone for six years and to wait to have sex and then…

1:07:34 Adam Yeah.

1:07:35 Drew And in relation… Think about it. When people are together, they sort of work it out. You know what I mean? And neither of these two have ever worked it out with anybody, so they've got to kind of work out not just their own thing, but also their coupling thing. Yeah. And she knows what she… the fact that she can have an orgasm with intercourse is a positive thing. Yeah, it's good. She needs a certain style stimulation. They have to sort of balance it all out. Yeah.

1:07:56 Adam And yes. Worse, if you'd met two months and a day ago and started having sex, it would be easier than knowing each other for six years and then having sex after that six years. So you guys are fine.

1:08:09 Drew Oh, they're great.

1:08:09 Adam It's going to work out.

1:08:12 Drew They're going to be working it out, figuring it out.

1:08:14 Adam That's right. Maybe Carrie Elwes was on the show, maybe has been on the show before.

1:08:19 Drew Is he the guy from England?

1:08:21 Adam He's the guy from England.

1:08:21 Drew That brought his family here.

1:08:23 Adam Maybe brought his family?

1:08:25 Drew He plays the bat. There are two guys in Princess Diaries.

1:08:28 Adam Yeah.

1:08:29 Marsha Thomason Princess Bride.

1:08:30 Adam Princess Bride. He's the good one. He's the prince.

1:08:34 Drew We had the other one.

1:08:35 Adam We did.

1:08:36 Drew I just saw him last week.

1:08:37 Adam Oh, Andre the Giant.

1:08:38 Drew Yeah, Andre the Giant.

1:08:40 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break. Andre's passed on. He's great, though, because he was a huge guy and people would tell stories around like, oh, he would sit down, he would eat 11 chickens and drink three cases of wine. And he loved the ladies. I was, I don't know. There's something about guys that are really short or really big. They love the ladies. I was like, all right, what, I got to vomit? What do you mean he loved the ladies? He's 18 inches tall. He loved them. It's like your mind starts going in these bizarre places. He loved the ladies. Herve Villaches, a tattoo from Love, Love of Fantasy on it. Love the ladies. I think people are trying to freak you out in their own way, like, look, I mean, Drew, you love the ladies, right? No, I said, Dr. loves the ladies. I got a picture of an 800 pound guy on top of like, what, how many, six women or?

1:09:31 He loved the ladies.

1:09:32 Adam So it's weird. It's always safe about every midget, her baby, like, picture him crawling inside a woman and running around like he's on a hamster wheel or something.

1:09:41 He loved the ladies.

1:09:42 Adam And then once in a while, they throw you this one, too. He loved the ladies. And the ladies loved the ladies. Okay, listen, I got to take a shower.

1:09:51 Marsha Thomason I love me a midget.

1:09:52 Adam I'm taking a shower. You understand? There ain't enough loofah in this country for me to get clean from that last guy.

1:10:01 Caller Don't you know that I got a sex life?

1:10:04 Adam Is there any normal size guy who loved the ladies? All right, let's take ourselves a little break. Marsha Thomason here tonight from Las Vegas, Monday night's NBC. Nine o'clock.

1:10:15 Caller Quick break.

1:10:16 Adam Be right back after this.

1:10:22 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:10:45 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Marsha Thomason is here tonight. She is from the hit series Las Vegas, NBC, Monday nights, 9 o'clock. See Jimmy Khan and your buddy, Nicky Cox, dear, dear friend, Molly Sims. Dear, dear friend.

1:11:05 Marsha Thomason Am I a dear, dear friend? No. You shall be.

1:11:07 Adam At the end of the night.

1:11:09 Drew You could be competing with him a little bit. You may have a grudge.

1:11:12 Adam No, no, no.

1:11:12 Drew Once the bugging begins, it'll be fine.

1:11:19 Caller She's going to be with us for a while. Yeah.

1:11:26 Caller Sarah. I want to say I thought I was totally on top of this, but apparently we get a delayed broadcast. So last night, Dr. Drew was talking about memory problems in people who have been sexually abused.

1:11:44 Drew We were talking about blocked memories. Yeah. And that's not a common thing.

1:11:48 Caller I was sexually abused. Like there's documentation. There was a court case. Right. It's documented I was abused. The guy didn't get convicted because they couldn't prove it was definitely him, which is horrible.

1:12:00 Adam Well, did you know it was definitely him?

1:12:05 Caller I don't anymore. I did then. They had me testify. I was six years old. They testified. But I can't remember anything from before I was like eight years old now. And I have other problems and I'm wondering if they're related memory problems where like I can't remember conversations I have day to day.

1:12:23 Drew Are you on medication?

1:12:25 Caller No, I'm not on any medication.

1:12:27 Drew Do you have any medical problems? Huh.

1:12:33 Caller I'm fine in school, but it's like conversations and it's affecting my relationship with my husband.

1:12:39 Drew And I don't know. Do you dissociate easily? Do you know what I mean by that? We sort of kind of fade out or go out of body kind of thing. So that dissociative biology is something that will you need that to be treated. Okay. You need to see a therapist who's used to treating trauma survivors. Because what happens when you've been traumatized, particularly at a young age, is you sort of learn to shut down. And that shutdown reaction starts to happen across a broad range of stress. In other words, anytime you're uncomfortable or somebody talks to you strangely, you just you'll click out, you'll freeze. And in that situation, memory doesn't work very well.

1:13:23 Caller I don't have a problem with rote memory. Like I remember birthdays and telephone numbers.

1:13:27 Drew Now listen to what I'm saying.

1:13:29 Caller I don't remember like conversations. Like if I'm like talking to my boyfriend and then he's like, don't you remember I told you my work schedule yesterday?

1:13:37 Adam Why waste your breath by the way?

1:13:38 Drew She's not going to remember that.

1:13:40 Adam And now she's not going to remember the conversation.

1:13:42 Drew In an interpersonal context where there is stress, you may be dissociative and your memory won't work very well. Well, let me ask. And being dissociative is not a good healthy thing. You're going to have problems with because of that. So you need to get that treated.

1:13:55 Adam Why are you married so young?

1:13:57 Caller It's common law. He and I have a daughter together. We live together. We're both college students.

1:14:04 Adam Hold on. You have a daughter who's four?

1:14:07 Caller Yeah. We're both parents. We've been together for five years.

1:14:11 Drew He's an abuse survivor too, right?

1:14:14 Caller No, he's not.

1:14:15 Adam What's he doing? I mean, so you were pregnant at 14 or 15? 14. And that's considered an old maid in this country.

1:14:26 Drew In Adam's America.

1:14:27 Adam Most women are pregnant by eight or nine. Sure. Yeah. My mom, my mom's 39. Actually, you're older. The pastor. Sarah, Sarah.

1:14:40 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:14:42 Adam How old is your husband? So but but it's a it's common law husband. He didn't have a ceremony.

1:14:51 Caller No, because we get more financial aid if we're not married. If we don't file taxes together.

1:14:57 Marsha Thomason So you live together.

1:14:58 Drew Are you at a college?

1:14:59 Caller We live in an apartment together. We're both students. I'm an English major.

1:15:03 Drew What college?

1:15:03 Caller Major at the Colorado School of Mines.

1:15:07 Adam School of Mines?

1:15:09 Caller Mines M-I-M-E-S. It's an engineering school.

1:15:12 Drew Mines. Mines. It's like coalmine.

1:15:14 Adam Oh, really? School of Mines, first off, seems like you're going to get like black lung just during the Pledge of Allegiance. Who teaches your statistic class? A guy named Cookie with a long beard, he's an old timer.

1:15:30 Caller He's dirty. No, there's gold.

1:15:34 Adam He's got them. Charlie Weaver is the dean of students. The dean of students is a donkey, the old mule to pull him around all the time. Sounds crazy. What do they got? The Snack Shack. I got a Streamwater and Dried Salmon. Roots. It's like a bad place. The name of the football team is the Shafts.

1:16:01 Drew Give them the shaft.

1:16:03 Adam That's a good name. Wait a minute. You could do worse than Shaft.

1:16:06 Drew You could have called them Lord Jeffs.

1:16:11 Caller Shut your mouth.

1:16:13 Adam I think what's great about the Shaft song is he doesn't sing song when he responds to the backup singers. He doesn't go, Who's the baddest man? Shut your mouth. He doesn't go, Just talking about Shaft. He's just like, Who's the baddest man?

1:16:29 Caller Shut your mouth.

1:16:32 Adam They actually cut it.

1:16:34 Drew It's conversation.

1:16:35 Caller Yeah.

1:16:35 Adam I love the beginning too. It's like, Who's the private dick? Who's the sex machine to all the chicks?

1:16:42 Caller Shaft. But no one understands him but his lady. It's like, huh?

1:16:47 Marsha Thomason His woman.

1:16:48 Adam Yeah. His woman.

1:16:49 Drew His woman. His woman's okay with him being with all the chicks?

1:16:51 Adam Sex machine to all the chicks?

1:16:54 Caller All of them? No.

1:16:55 Adam He's got the one lady who understands him. Understand. Is this while he's banging like her sister and her friend? When is the understanding part? That was a good 70s movie icon when, you know, you get to go bang as many women as you want, but there's one chick who knows you. She knows you. Oh, yeah. She knows. She knows you like to bang other women, too. But she knows you. She's there.

1:17:17 Drew She knows the real you.

1:17:18 Adam She's past it.

1:17:18 Drew The real you.

1:17:19 Adam Yeah. He's a sex machine to all the chicks. John Shaft. I like how they work his first name in. That's another one of those movie things, which is if a guy's got a cool last name, like, you know, he's a cop and his name is Justice Breaker or something like that, his first name has to be John, because it makes it plausible. See? Shaft. What kind of name is it? John's his first name. I could see that. He didn't try to get some of the first name.

1:17:52 Drew And the guy always has to be called by his last name.

1:17:54 Adam Oh, yeah. So always by the last name. But first name John. See? That's realistic. Of course.

1:17:59 Drew Yeah.

1:18:00 Adam All right. Yeah. If his name was like Rock or Justice or Gaylord.

1:18:06 Drew Gaylord.

1:18:06 Adam Gaylord Shaft would be name a good bar.

1:18:10 Caller Can you dig it? Gaylord Shaft.

1:18:15 Adam He's just he's a private dick who's buggering all the guys.

1:18:20 Caller He's Gaylord.

1:18:21 Adam He's Gaylord Shaft.

1:18:24 Caller Wash your ass.

1:18:26 Adam Just talking about Gaylord. Yeah. All right. Sorry. Yeah. Marsha got me going in a weird direction there. I don't know what you're talking about.

1:18:37 Caller Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:18:38 Adam So he goes to a mining school?

1:18:40 Caller It's an engineering school. It's actually like the third most prestigious engineering school in the country. They have their own particle accelerator. Yeah, we were all surprised that he got in.

1:18:54 Adam What's the mine school? What's the M-I-N-E?

1:18:58 Drew Was it not a military thing at one time?

1:19:01 Caller I don't think so, but we do feed in. A lot of our graduates feed into Lockheed Martin.

1:19:08 Adam Yeah.

1:19:09 Drew And where do you go?

1:19:10 Caller I go to Metropolitan State College. It's just a state college in the middle of Denver.

1:19:15 Drew I actually spoke there. It's got a...

1:19:18 Caller Oh, really?

1:19:18 Drew It's right in the middle. It's by the stadiums, sort of.

1:19:20 Caller Yeah, it's down by the...

1:19:22 Drew There's like three schools. There's like three schools there, though, right?

1:19:26 Caller Yeah, I go to Metro. There's also the Community College and the CU Denver branch.

1:19:31 Drew That's right. Metro's the good one.

1:19:32 Caller That's right.

1:19:33 Adam Well, wow. Never seen teen parents doing so well scholastically. All right, so...

1:19:37 Caller Yeah, we work our butts off all the time. I would never recommend our path to anyone ever.

1:19:43 Adam Don't get preachy. So, your memory... How about some therapy for the atrocities in the past?

1:19:49 Drew I've said it about eight times, you've got to get some treatment for this.

1:19:51 Caller Yeah, I mean, I was in therapy before and I just... When I was younger and then I moved away from the town I was living in and I just hit a really bad patch in my life and then I moved into Denver and I got into one really bad relationship and then...

1:20:10 Drew You're doing great. You're doing great, but you still have that tendency to dissociate.

1:20:13 Caller He's a complicated man, but no one understands him.

1:20:17 Drew Has some expertise in dealing with that problem.

1:20:23 Caller You're damn right.

1:20:26 Adam Oh, you know, I swear I did watch a watch about an hour of Shaft when I was north about six months ago. Not a great movie. You realize the soundtrack, ton of mileage out of the soundtrack, ton of mileage out of the name and just sort of getting them be able to beginning is aired many, many times.

1:20:46 Caller Right.

1:20:46 Adam Right. When you watch the movie, the budget must have been thirty five grand like for the sound was horrible. It wasn't done right.

1:20:55 Caller It was shot.

1:20:55 Adam It was sort of ridiculously bad and really had nothing going on. It was a B movie, B minus type movie. Just got right place, right time, right name.

1:21:03 Drew But also B minus in the 70s was just just total just ridiculous.

1:21:07 Adam That was a comedy.

1:21:10 Drew Keep going.

1:21:10 Caller Where are we going?

1:21:11 Drew Tony.

1:21:11 Caller Where are we going?

1:21:11 Adam Talking to Tony? Talking to Tony. Here we go. Let's break it down. Tony, there we go now. Yeah.

1:21:17 Drew Yeah.

1:21:18 Adam Hold on. What happened to those particle accelerators? Where are we going to smash atoms or protons or something? What are we getting?

1:21:25 Drew Where's the electricity? Oh, no, no, no.

1:21:27 Adam I want something.

1:21:28 Drew That's different.

1:21:29 Adam I want free energy.

1:21:30 Drew Oh, you want to get fusion out.

1:21:32 Adam I want fusion.

1:21:33 Caller Well, no. They built the huge accelerators.

1:21:36 Drew Huge accelerators. That's how they've been able to study subatomic particles and whatnot.

1:21:41 Adam Where's the car that runs off of my urine? You know what I mean? What's going on?

1:21:45 Drew Where's the Back to the Future car?

1:21:47 Adam Where's the freebie stuff? Where's the perpetual motion stuff? Where's the battery that never wears out?

1:21:51 Drew Keep holding your breath. Where is it? I've got the 30 hours on the MP3 player and the phones now. It's amazing.

1:21:57 Adam MP3?

1:21:58 Drew MP3.

1:21:58 Adam Yeah. The one, oh, you mean, oh, the one, yeah, the one, the 30-hour battery with the 13,000 songs. It doesn't work with my Mac, that one.

1:22:05 Drew Oh, no.

1:22:06 Adam Yeah.

1:22:06 Drew Oh, come on.

1:22:07 Adam I'm using it for Doorstop. Yeah.

1:22:09 Drew My kids use it.

1:22:10 Adam No way.

1:22:11 Drew My kids are fighting over the one I've got.

1:22:12 Adam Sorry. Tony? I was going to give it to them until I found out they wanted it.

1:22:18 Drew 122 minutes.

1:22:19 Marsha Thomason Wow.

1:22:22 Adam Tony could have fallen asleep. Tony's been on hold for 122 minutes.

1:22:25 Marsha Thomason No. Yeah. Tony.

1:22:27 Drew Let's listen. Tony sounds like...

1:22:31 Adam I can hear him snoring a little bit.

1:22:32 Drew Yeah, but he seems like the kind of guy we really hear him sleeping. What do you think?

1:22:36 Adam Tony is the name of a guy who...

1:22:38 Drew Who you produce.

1:22:39 Adam Sleeping disorder.

1:22:41 Marsha Thomason Tony.

1:22:42 Adam You know, it's funny. He's calling from Anaheim. Anaheim. I was telling you the other night, the best cities to sleep in. Minneapolis, Minnesota, number one. Number two, Anaheim.

1:22:56 Marsha Thomason Well, he's clearly a case example.

1:22:58 Adam That's right.

1:22:59 Drew Let's take a break.

1:23:00 Adam He's spearheading the whole thing. Yeah. Let's take a break. Marsha Thomason here tonight from... And by the way, Marsha, I know you well, but I always have to look down because I'm scared I'm going to call you Thompson. I'm sure. I'm sure. Marsha Thomason here, Las Vegas, everyone. Monday nights, 9 o'clock, NBC. Quick break. Be right back.

1:23:25 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:23:29 Adam Guess how many terrific scents and deodorant body spray comes in?

1:23:36 Caller No, more.

1:23:37 Drew Nine.

1:23:38 Adam No, seven. Anyway, sevens are not friends.

1:23:42 Drew Sevens break.

1:23:47 Caller Loveline. Yeah.

1:23:50 Adam Got to get it on. Freak out. Tell you what. Yeah. Marsha Thomason is here tonight. Las Vegas, everybody. Name of her show. Monday Nights, NBC, nine o'clock, nine o'clock. And what's going on in the movie world? Yeah.

1:24:10 Marsha Thomason Yeah.

1:24:10 Adam It's out on DVD. It's out on DVD. What else? Anything growing?

1:24:16 Marsha Thomason I did an independent movie called The Nickel Children about child prostitution. They're just getting that ready to try and do the festival circuit. So I just had a film, Pure, in the Hollywood Film Festival.

1:24:28 Adam And so if you had your druthers, would you just exclusively do films or enjoy doing a series?

1:24:38 Marsha Thomason I enjoy doing the series. I like the... Yeah, I do. I enjoy it.

1:24:44 Adam That's now. It's. Like a casino and if you think about it, you know, I think that's one of the one of the few things that people don't know, which is, is they'll take a sewer system and build the sewer system. They'll take a casino. They'll build a casino. They'll take a boat. They'll build a boat. Anything but try to light and put cameras in the real the real thing and especially especially a casino. You couldn't do it.

1:25:35 Marsha Thomason Well, we shot the pilot at the Mandalay Bay and it was kind of a nightmare because, you know, the place never sleeps. So there's patrons everywhere. Exactly. And we were having to film at stupid o'clock, you know, because that was when it was quieter and it was just right. It's just not easy.

1:25:54 Adam And by the way, if you're waiting for the casino to quiet down in Vegas, you know, it's well, it's nine thirty at night. Things should be settling down. I mean, you got to go. You get somewhere between like four fifteen a.m. and six a.m. or something. I would imagine it's probably better at seven a.m. than it is at four a.m.

1:26:14 Drew Probably.

1:26:14 Adam You know what I mean?

1:26:15 Drew It may be like four thirty.

1:26:16 Adam That's the one I know. Sort of. Somewhere around four or five finally goes and passes out and the people that come down early to gamble at seven. That's a that's a frightening. That's a fanny pack group there. Those are guys with the funky knees. Weird knees.

1:26:32 Drew Fat knees.

1:26:33 Adam Fat knees. But showing them off like jowls in the knees. Weird rubbery knees. And you're thinking knees on display. First off, we're inside. Where are you going in those shorts? You're going to run and track me? Put some goddamn pants on. Put them away. Plus, if I had knees like that, I would not only be wearing long pants, we were knee pads. Just in case something happened. You know, I'd be wearing like Tyler's knee pads. I'd be wearing catcher shin guards with those things on. Are you kidding? I look like one of the warriors is what I would look like. I can't believe you're wearing shorts with that. And and it's that greats, that fanny pack, it's the shorts, it's the sandals. What is it with when you get a little bit older, you got to start supporting sandals and shorts everywhere, even though you never go outdoors because you don't give an ass and you don't care. Everyone can kiss your ass. Is that what it is?

1:27:19 Drew That's what it is.

1:27:19 Adam You don't care.

1:27:19 Marsha Thomason I like fanny packs. And in England, we call them bum bags because we don't call the derriere the fanny.

1:27:24 Adam Oh, you don't?

1:27:25 Marsha Thomason No, we don't.

1:27:25 Adam They call it the bum.

1:27:26 Marsha Thomason We call the front bum the fanny.

1:27:28 Adam The front bum the fanny. Oh, OK. So the rear end is. Well, hold on.

1:27:33 Drew Is this a woman's front bum?

1:27:34 Marsha Thomason Yeah.

1:27:34 Drew Only a woman.

1:27:35 Marsha Thomason Yeah.

1:27:36 Adam OK. So let me get this right. The rear end is the bum. We know that. I'm into that.

1:27:41 Drew The vulva is the fanny.

1:27:43 Adam The front end, the vagina is the fanny.

1:27:45 Marsha Thomason The vagina.

1:27:46 Adam Just call it the vagina, Drew. We're not all med students here. That's the fanny.

1:27:51 Marsha Thomason Yeah.

1:27:52 Adam So she's got like so like if you went like, oh, yeah, I got a vulva pack, she got a leather fanny pack. The person might hit you. Right. Like you think you're calling a vagina.

1:28:06 Drew That's where you think about it.

1:28:07 Adam Yeah.

1:28:08 Drew It's about the same.

1:28:08 Adam Put a little velcro on the end so the nickels don't fall out. You ready to go?

1:28:14 Drew Here we go.

1:28:14 Adam Fanny's the front.

1:28:15 Drew Michelle, Michelle, just got your junk.

1:28:17 Adam Jerry? Yeah. Oh, that Michelle. Yeah. Sorry. What's happening, Jerry?

1:28:22 I've been with this girl for about six months and many of our sexual intercourse has been poor.

1:28:29 Adam You're 24.

1:28:30 Caller Yes.

1:28:31 Drew Is she your first girlfriend?

1:28:33 Caller No.

1:28:34 Drew And what do you mean it's been poor?

1:28:36 Caller I've just been sort of divorced and this is my second.

1:28:39 Adam Are you from England too?

1:28:41 Caller No. I'm a Latino.

1:28:43 Adam Oh, okay. Always off.

1:28:46 Drew It's shocking.

1:28:46 Adam All right. And you got divorced and your girlfriend is poor. Yeah. What do you mean?

1:28:53 Drew What do you mean it's been poor? What does that mean?

1:28:56 Caller Well, you know, my, my animal is not so like before, you know, it's just all of a sudden just one time and that's it. I can't really get your record again.

1:29:06 Adam Well, a lot of guys can't get it going again, but the idea is to tie it, kind of stretch it out a little. But if that's your time, that's your time. Do you give her oral sex?

1:29:15 Caller I give her everything.

1:29:16 Adam All right.

1:29:17 Drew Yeah. But focus on the oral sex. That may be where you spend most of your time.

1:29:21 Adam Do you like ranchero music?

1:29:24 Caller Yes, I do.

1:29:25 Adam You do? All right. And you probably think you know a little something about it.

1:29:30 Caller Yeah, but I'll probably rule at the moment.

1:29:32 Adam No, I don't. Oh, well, yeah. No, don't play the ranchero.

1:29:35 Drew No, Adam wants to challenge you.

1:29:36 Adam You don't play that when you're trying to get down. No, no, you play that when you're trying to hit a piñata, not a chick. You know what I mean?

1:29:44 Caller Mariachi band, yeah.

1:29:45 Adam Yeah. Now, hold on there, Jerry. Just hold on a second. Jerry has a cultural step up on us.

1:29:51 Drew Well, so challenge him.

1:29:52 Adam Let me call him out. And I think we're all we're all going in on this.

1:29:56 Drew Let us down.

1:29:56 Adam Jerry, you call yourself a Latino, right?

1:29:58 Caller I'm Mexican. That's right.

1:30:00 Adam I was going to say that, but I didn't want Michelle to get mad. All right. So, you know the ranchero music, yes? You know your way around an accordion? Yes. A little bit. We're going to play a little something called the Aces Mexican Music Accordion Countdown. All right. Now, here's how the game is played. Engineer S. Michelle has the ranchero music loaded up and we estimate how long in a random song before we hear the accordion. All right, Jerry?

1:30:34 Caller All right. All right.

1:30:35 Adam I'm going seven seconds.

1:30:39 Caller No problem.

1:30:39 Marsha Thomason I'm going, oh, is it just you two?

1:30:41 Adam No, go ahead, Marsha, go ahead. What do you got?

1:30:44 Marsha Thomason Eight. I like eight.

1:30:45 Adam You're going eight? You're going eight? All right. Jerry, what do you got? Ten seconds.

1:30:52 Drew And I've been shamed multiple times tonight, but I'll just throw in my hat in the rank of three.

1:30:56 Caller I kind of repent that.

1:31:00 Adam Five seconds. Five seconds.

1:31:01 Drew I'm going three.

1:31:02 Adam Drew's got three, the J-Man's got five, Ace has picked a seven, and the Amster has eight.

1:31:11 Caller All right.

1:31:12 Adam Well, hold on. Let me get the clock queued up here.

1:31:15 Drew I'm not going to name that accordion.

1:31:16 Adam You ready?

1:31:16 Caller All right.

1:31:18 Adam All right. Three, hold on. Two, one, go. Seven. Seven seconds. Seven seconds.

1:31:39 Caller Dead knots on seven seconds.

1:31:42 Caller Pow!

1:31:43 Drew Humble. Humble.

1:31:45 Caller You're from LA man.

1:31:46 Adam That's right, brother. That's right. I know Ranchero over here.

1:31:50 Caller I'm a Northern Mexican over here.

1:31:52 Adam Yeah, that's right. I don't need the... No excuses, Jerry. I may be a gringo, but I know my Ranchero music, my friend. Yeah, bring it on.

1:32:01 Caller I'm just trying to see what's going on here with me and my...

1:32:04 Adam No, I understand. I understand.

1:32:06 Drew The oral sex is where you need to spend your time a little bit. And don't worry so much about how long you're lasting with the interchorus part.

1:32:11 Adam Yeah.

1:32:12 Drew Just to focus on her and what she needs, not your performance so much. Just try to respond to her specifically.

1:32:18 Adam Let me say this about the Ace man and the Ranchero music. When I was looking at the clock, I even forgot I'm such an idiot because I went first and I did seven. I was writing everyone seven. I was staring at the clock. It went at 37, went seven seconds, dead nuts on. And I shouted out and, you know, what can I say about myself that hasn't been said, you know, in regards to Ranchero music already?

1:32:41 Drew We can wax on, but you heard that, Michelle?

1:32:44 Adam Getting turned on.

1:32:45 Marsha Thomason Can't wait to get on the road.

1:32:47 Adam Way do we hit the road. Way do we hit the trail. Buggering, Ranchero music is going to be huge. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:32:56 Alright guys, here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:33:01 Adam One call is all you need to make.

1:33:02 Drew Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE. Call the Dateline.

1:33:07 Caller 1-800-CALL-LEP-LINE.

1:33:09 Love, 191.

1:33:17 Adam Yeah! Well, our new favorite guest, Marsha Thomason. Fantabulous, baby. You were wonderful.

1:33:25 Marsha Thomason Thanks. Am I a dear, dear friend now?

1:33:28 Caller Dear, dear, dear friend.

1:33:34 Adam You're welcome back anytime, sweetie pea. Vegas, Las Vegas, name of the show, NBC, 9 o'clock, Monday nights.

1:33:42 Drew All right.

1:33:43 Adam I want to thank Ziggy, phone screener Ziggy.

1:33:47 Drew For running out to Vegas to pick up the porn for you.

1:33:48 Adam He's on the road, he's listening on the radio. I want to thank phone screen Brian for doing a fantabulous job. Of course, the magic fingered one, engineer and. Yeah, you're a dear friend now. I want to give a special, special thanks to our engineer out here, Michelle, who brought in the Tejano music and the Ranchero stuff, who laughs at all my jokes. Never seen it. Nine years I've been here. Never seen so much as a smile from anyone who worked here.

1:34:12 Drew I don't see this already, you know.

1:34:14 Adam I can't focus.

1:34:15 Caller Fantastic.

1:34:18 Adam That's right. You're getting a raise. All right. And I want to thank Junior, Junior.

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Thursday, October 21, 2004