Episode 1000653272207

0:57 Voiceover Online is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:23 Voiceover Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, Dixie Beve. Drew, you're paranoid, right?

1:32 Drew Little. That's not certain things. Anxious, not paranoid.

1:34 Adam Well, like if someone comes up to you in the airport and says like, hey, I disagreed with something you said, you'll tell me that you were attacked at the airport. It feels like attack to you.

1:44 Drew Yes.

1:44 Adam Right.

1:44 Drew Yes.

1:46 Adam No, I'm just saying it's like talking to one of your mom's friends.

1:49 Drew Right.

1:50 Adam You know, they go, they're like, and I went to the podiatrist and he attacked, he stabbed me.

1:56 Drew He stabbed me. I have a mutation.

1:57 Adam And you go, and you go, I should probably just scrape in the bun. You know, no, no, it was intentional.

2:02 Drew Yes.

2:02 Adam You know, that kind of person. And then you go, why would he intentionally stab you in the foot if he's, I don't know. Ask him. And then you realize, that's you, Drew.

2:09 Drew I hope I'm much less that way than he was.

2:11 Adam Oh, you're a little less, but don't worry. It's going to get worse. Christy Canyon. Because you're getting older. Yeah, you get older and you get more paranoid and everything feels like an attack. Christy Canyon here, everybody. Dear, dear, dear, dear friend, Christy Canyon.

2:24 Christy Canyon Yes, we go way back.

2:26 Adam We we absolutely do.

2:28 Christy Canyon We're from the elementary school.

2:30 Adam Same.

2:30 Drew No way.

2:31 Christy Canyon Yes, we did. We did. We went to school together.

2:33 Drew You go to hippie school with him?

2:34 Adam No.

2:35 Christy Canyon No, he was actually two years older than me.

2:37 Adam And still am.

2:38 Christy Canyon You were. Yeah, I still haven't caught up. He was in my sister's class. That's right.

2:42 Drew He mentioned that.

2:43 Adam That's right. I don't know if we went to the same elementary school, though, but we definitely went to the same junior high.

2:49 Christy Canyon Missy Mr. Delberti, Christy Mr. Delberti.

2:53 Adam Mr. Delberti was no, he's North Hollywood High.

2:58 Christy Canyon I just went to my oh, my God, last Saturday night, I went to my 20th high school reunion, North Hollywood Huskies. It was so like almost surreal because I haven't been to any functions since I became, you know, Christy and like people coming up to me, I'd never I didn't remember them at all. And suddenly they they all know, oh, we, you know, I had such a crush on you in high school. I'm thinking, yeah, right. When I had braces, you wouldn't even look at me.

3:22 Adam I would.

3:23 Christy Canyon No, you didn't either.

3:24 Adam Oh, please. You know, I'll tell you, the revisionist history that goes on once a guy gets on basic cable is crazy. It's nuts. We you know, we once because I did ask. I'm going to slip up and call you by your real name once in a while.

3:40 Christy Canyon You mean that's not my real name.

3:41 Adam I'm going to. But I asked Christy out and probably she was 17 and I was 19 or something like that.

3:48 Drew I heard of it. He's mentioned this multiple times. It wasn't it wasn't.

3:51 Adam It wasn't a flat out.

3:52 Drew No, it was a set. And I guess you didn't show.

3:55 Christy Canyon I know, you know, that whole year was almost a blur.

4:00 Yeah, it was a good thing.

4:01 Christy Canyon I got into porn because I just was on the wrong track.

4:06 I did.

4:06 Christy Canyon You know, it was talking about. Was that at that party with Teresa where I was really drunk?

4:11 Adam Well, it it could have been no.

4:14 Christy Canyon Remember on Briar?

4:15 Adam No, I believe me. Briar? It's a street.

4:18 Christy Canyon It was a street. It was Grant's house.

4:20 Adam Grant now your husband. Yeah, I went to high school with as well kept it in the family. Grant, two years younger than me or one year?

4:27 Christy Canyon Two.

4:28 Adam Two. Same with same grade as you. So, OK, so we're all over the place, but here's all I have to say. One time we did this bit for the man show where we're going to contact all the women who, you know, stood me up or never went out with me or turned me down or went out with for two dates and then dumped me or whatever. And we were kept calling them up and they kept saying that's not how it went down. You know, and it was like it was absolutely how it went down because we went out on two dates. I was India. I was ready for my third and you couldn't make it, you know, and they're mine.

4:59 Drew And then I'm wondering what was their mind was their version.

5:02 Adam Their version is like he dumped me and I'm wondering and I know Christy is just saying that for the people at home, but she knows what went on.

5:11 Christy Canyon I really I swear to you.

5:13 Drew That's worse. She has no recollection at all.

5:16 Christy Canyon It wasn't for a year.

5:19 Drew It didn't matter at all. Whatever happens means nothing.

5:21 Adam Here's the point. OK, but here's what it is. I think that a disproportionate amount of people think they got dumped. Like, here's what it is. Each time somebody's the dumper, someone's the dumpy. I would say out of three times, two people feel dumped. Instead of two people being the other way around. That's confusing. But you know what I'm saying? I think oftentimes...

5:47 Drew It's not matching up. The math is matching up.

5:49 Adam Right.

5:50 Drew Somebody had dumped somebody.

5:51 Adam There should be a million dumpers and a million dumpies. And there's 1.5 dumpies and 0.5 dumpers. You know what I'm saying? Because people have low self-esteem and then history is sort of sad in a way. You do get better in sports with history, but not with dating. Everything just looks like a disaster. I mean, when you go back and look back on your dating history, you're like, oh, I don't think... I think I've been dumped every time. I don't think I ever dumped anyone. It doesn't feel that way.

6:21 Drew I never have any conversations with anybody from my past.

6:24 Adam Well, the point is, is Christy, would you know me if I wasn't on radio?

6:31 Christy Canyon I would.

6:32 Drew She doesn't remember you from the year when you dated.

6:34 Christy Canyon No.

6:34 Adam Quiet. Let her answer.

6:37 Christy Canyon I remember you lived close to our elementary school. I think across the street, I'm going to say.

6:44 Adam Well, now, what was your elementary school?

6:47 Christy Canyon Not Carpenter, Colfax.

6:48 Adam Colfax. Okay.

6:50 Christy Canyon And I remember my sister had a crush on you.

6:52 Adam Yeah.

6:53 Christy Canyon That's how I remember you the most was she had a crush on you.

6:56 Adam Now, is she your full sister or like half sister?

6:59 Christy Canyon I had a half step sister, but no, she is my absolute full sister.

7:03 Adam Really? Because they don't mean she's an attractive woman, but they don't they don't look the same.

7:08 Christy Canyon We are completely opposite. She's very tiny, small chested, little hands, little feet, blonde hair, green eyes.

7:19 Adam Yeah, but she asked me, Christy's sister asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance. I remember that one of the few victories I had from 10 to 26 was the Sadie Hawkins dance over Walter Reed.

7:35 Christy Canyon She was wearing her wallabies, I'm sure.

7:38 Adam Oh, I'm sure of it. Had the braces, feathered hair.

7:42 Christy Canyon And the brush in the back pocket.

7:44 Adam I was all Brillo head and elbows. Brillo awesome, oh, disaster. Disaster. Comb over, Brillo. I hope she's done better than me. She's beautiful. Yeah, she's an attractive woman. She is. Yeah, I think I think the one Sadie Hawkins dance was sort of convinced her to keep moving. But that's all right. Look at me. Literally a millionaire. Yeah. The world can kiss my ass.

8:09 Christy Canyon So you've bent over, baby.

8:11 Adam That's right. That's right. Christy is here promoting the annual exotic erotic ball, which is going to be held on the it's it's at the twenty oh at the twenty fifth. You're going to be appearing at the tour. There have been twenty five of these things.

8:26 Christy Canyon I guess so. They finally figured out who I was and invited me.

8:30 Adam This is your first one.

8:32 Christy Canyon Yes.

8:32 Adam This is at the Cow Palace in San Francisco, which is this thing. This is Sodom and Gomorrah. Have you ever seen this thing?

8:40 Drew The Cow Palace is legendary rock concert venue.

8:42 Adam The Cow Palace is, but I mean, what goes on at the exotic, erotic ball is it's insanity. Is it?

8:48 Christy Canyon I've never been.

8:49 Adam I've seen like once in a while if you watch, you know, seventy hours of Playboy channel a week every two and a half days. How many days before you get to seventy? Three days. The point is, the point is, is you'll see it and it's just guys dragging people around by nipple rings and just a lot of hoods on and, you know, gimp balls and gags and, you know, it's it's it's way out there. But, you know, good time.

9:15 Christy Canyon Oh, my. Well, I'm going to be signing during the day. I'm signing my book and I'm signing with, I think Tabitha Stevens and Ron Jeremy. And that is just for one day. So everyone is not doing anything. Come and see us.

9:33 Adam When you originally, when you said assigning, assigning during the day, Richard, I thought you're talking about working with the hearing impaired. Of course, I didn't I didn't know. I didn't know you're actually signing a book, signing a book. I see.

9:44 Christy Canyon I know sign language, too.

9:45 Adam And that's there. No, you don't.

9:48 Christy Canyon A, B, C, D, E. I buy all those cards at the airport.

9:54 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah.

9:54 Christy Canyon You know, when they come around with the pencils. Yeah.

9:56 Adam So I just buy the globe keychain that immediately breaks in half and I get angry and try to hunt the guy down, beat the crap out of him. You're lucky you can't see this coming, buddy. It's going to be brutal. Nice. Yeah. This is October 23rd. That's this. It must be this Saturday. San Francisco. Oh, debauchery.

10:16 Christy Canyon I love San Francisco.

10:18 Adam Sure. It loves you.

10:19 Christy Canyon It's great up there.

10:20 Adam And what's up? Now, Sue, are you retired from the adult industry? I mean, making movies?

10:26 Christy Canyon I am. I haven't made a movie since 1995.

10:29 Adam Oh, really? It's been that long.

10:31 Christy Canyon Time goes fast. Yes. It's been since 95. But I still am in the business in other ways. Like I still have my my website, which Vivid runs, obviously Christy canyon.com. And I came out with my book. God, what was it? About a year ago when I was on the show. You're on here. Nine months.

10:48 Adam Well, it says August 20th, 2003. So it's about 13, 14 months ago.

10:53 Christy Canyon Yeah, I think I came right before I released my book. And I'm still working on my second one. The second one is just going slowly. So stop emailing me, everybody. And I still do stuff in the business. I just don't make films and I don't strip anymore.

11:07 Adam No more dancing.

11:08 Christy Canyon No. You know, my husband said, I don't care what you do, but no nudity anymore. Yeah. You know, at my age, the fans would say, yeah, we agree. No more nudity, please.

11:18 Adam You still look like you're in pretty solid shape there. I got to say. God knows. And so, I mean, now how do you feel about, you know, if someone showed you an old video of you, would you wince, would you be ashamed of it, would you not want to see it, or would you not care, or would you, would it be a walk down memory lane?

11:37 Christy Canyon I love seeing the old stuff. I mean, I was geeky as anything can be, but I mean, I love my life and my past. I just got to the point where I didn't want to make films anymore, but no, I never, I've never been ashamed of anything that I've ever done.

11:53 Adam Good.

11:54 Christy Canyon In the business. I'm sure there's stuff I can show you.

11:59 Adam What was your, you know, you know, I think I talked about last time Christy was on the show, but when we found out she was in a movie, it was well, first off, Anderson, you got to make that running, the paddling, running, paddling. That's us going for the door, which is I remember, I remember I came home from, you know, swinging a hammer when we didn't have much back then. You know, I mean, I was making seven bucks an hour and we're all living, me and Chris and Donnie, we're all living in the same one bedroom apartment in North Hollywood. And somehow I got back and was like, yeah, Christy, uh huh. Oh yeah, she's great. What did a movie?

12:37 What, what, where, where is it?

12:41 Adam Who's got this movie?

12:43 Who's got it?

12:43 Adam And you know, there's no, there's no internet. There's no, uh, there's, there was beta. You know, there's beta.

12:51 Christy Canyon I was on beta.

12:52 Adam There was no, there's no, oh yeah, I'll send a file over. I'll burn you a quick CD or anything.

12:56 It was just, what, what, where is it?

12:58 Drew Where is it?

12:59 Where is it?

12:59 Drew Right out in the middle of the street.

13:00 Adam And it was like, we got to lead. We got to lead. It's some Korean video store out in like Sun Valley, has it?

13:06 Well, what's it called?

13:07 Adam Well, the thing about pornos is like, OK, it's either, it's either Weekend Relent or it's Weekend Trist or it's a Sluts, Sluts on the on the back 40 or it's like five, five or six titles that it might go on. OK, we got those. So now we got a whole ass over the place, busting into the place and it's like, wait, wait, I don't think we knew your, your, your name. I'm not sure if we knew, you know, so start looking through boxes and that guy was like, you kids get out of here.

13:40 Don't make me get rough with you.

13:41 Christy Canyon I went to school with this girl.

13:43 Yeah, right.

13:45 Adam Nothing better. I mean, it's just.

13:47 Drew Did you find it?

13:51 Adam You know what I mean? You know, it's like, it's like they talk about, you know, being there for the birth of your child or hitting a home run or something. And it's all it's just a blur. It's all those great moments in life that happen in slow motion. But it's hard. It's just it's just a it was a blur. But I don't know if someone found it. Someone held it up, whatever.

14:12 Christy Canyon And then it was the halo light go above him when he held it up.

14:16 Drew The Holy Grail of being down on a little spark.

14:19 Adam It was crazy. It's like, I've been wanting to see her naked for five years.

14:26 Christy Canyon You know, you know, the first person was that ever found out that I know of was Rick. I don't want to say his last name. Do you know who I'm talking? Yellow truck. Yes. And I was on an adult set. Oh, porn set. Let's call it what it is. And I opened the door to go do my sex scene. And there was Rick H standing right there. And I guess he was friends with the owners of the house. And I just thought, oh, God, people are going to know what I do now. Like, I was really going to hide it anyway. I thought no one looks at this stuff.

14:57 Drew Well, did he? I burned a hole in it.

15:01 Adam Like Superman. I actually saw through the cassette. I see my hand waving behind the cassette. I was that focused on it. Sharp beams of light going to it.

15:13 I just hold up the light.

15:18 Adam Do you remember the name of this first thing?

15:21 Christy Canyon You obviously didn't read my book I gave you last year. Yes, it was called On Golden Pond. No, On Golden Blonde.

15:28 Adam On Golden Blonde.

15:29 Christy Canyon On Golden Blonde.

15:31 Adam Write that down. I always get these titles mixed up. But that wasn't a Ron Jeremy thing, was it?

15:38 Christy Canyon No, the first thing I did with him was just a was called a loop.

15:41 Adam Yeah.

15:41 Christy Canyon And it was just like a sex scene, no dialogue or anything. It was like Swedish erotica number 57.

15:48 Adam So let me let me tell you something about Swedish erotica. I am I'm upset.

15:53 Christy Canyon Why?

15:54 Adam Well, I got to tell you, a buddy of mine bought me a couple. The whole Swedish erotica series came out on DVD. A buddy of mine bought me a couple. DVD is like, oh, there's 750 scenes on this one DVD. You're on the cover. You're on the cover of the Swedish erotica one. And I don't know who's on the other one. But the point is, is you're on the cover, barely in the movie.

16:15 Christy Canyon That's so typical.

16:17 Adam It there really should be. I don't know. Like, who's the John Michael Vane or? Yeah. Who do you complain to? That's the whole thing. There's so much shame involved that no one demands their money. I barely was able to beat off to this, sir. How dare you? How dare you? You know what I mean? Like nobody gets indignant about porn. We just sort of put our head down and go, well, you got burned. It's really it's like buying drugs. It's really about you. But it's baking soda. What am I supposed to do? Call Ralph Nader. Go to Channel Seven. See if I can get the troubleshooter on my side. It's like you just ate it. You eat it. Yeah. You learn your lesson. That's what you get.

16:57 Christy Canyon Oh, you should have told me I would have brought you some.

17:02 Adam Oh, please. You're right on the cover there. And I was so revved up. And it's just nothing.

17:07 Christy Canyon You know, I think I only ever did two scenes for Swedish Robotica. So they couldn't have put too much in it.

17:12 Adam Yeah. Well, they didn't. But they put you. And here's how you know you've arrived in the adult business. You are the... You know, there's 30 scenes in this thing. You're the least represented inside the thing and all over the cover. You see what I mean? It's like it's like it's like after Fair Fawcett got famous and she was in Logan's Run for 10 seconds.

17:34 Christy Canyon Yeah.

17:35 Adam Logan's Run starring Fair Fawcett. She ran through one scene.

17:39 Christy Canyon If you went to get popcorn, you would have missed her.

17:42 Adam All right. So I'm outraged. But again, too much shame to say anything. Maybe we can make it better on Golden Blonde. I'm going to find that. That's on the Internet.

17:52 Christy Canyon Oh, you've got to be able to find it on eBay.

17:54 Adam I'm going to be looking. OK, well, I'm going to have to pay a little.

17:59 Christy Canyon Yeah, I'll hold $12.

18:02 Adam Honey, what happened to the Mini Cooper? Don't worry.

18:06 Christy Canyon But come to bed, baby.

18:10 Yeah.

18:11 Adam You're 28?

18:12 Caller Yeah.

18:13 Adam What's up?

18:14 Caller What's going on?

18:15 Adam Yeah.

18:17 Caller So I've been for eight years, I've been having sex with my wife. And so we were married before that, for some of that time. So she told me recently she's never had an orgasm. So kind of devastating. Anyways, though, I have penile curvature. And it points down. And I went to a doctor and he actually was kind of surprised. He said, well, you know, it does point down. It's substantial, but you should...

18:51 Drew Dave, Dave, Dave, that has nothing to do with orgasm.

18:54 Caller Nothing.

18:55 Drew That has to do with comfort. It can hurt her. It can cause discomfort. It will not improve orgasm function. Most women do not have orgasm with intercourse. Most. Ever. Do you understand that? Really? Yes, that's a fact.

19:07 Caller Okay, because she definitely, you know, when I touch her clitoris, she definitely calms and she...

19:13 Drew All right, well, that's what you need to do. You need to do that. But most women cannot have an orgasm with intercourse.

19:21 Caller Okay, with sex, then?

19:22 Drew Correct. That is most women in their lifetime do not.

19:26 Caller Okay, because she doesn't...

19:27 Adam I'm uncomfortable with this. Christy, do you have orgasms, though, when you were having sex?

19:32 Christy Canyon Only in missionary.

19:33 Adam Oh, really?

19:34 Christy Canyon I...

19:35 Adam Interesting.

19:35 Christy Canyon I don't if I'm doing any other positions with actual intercourse. I kind of only in missionary.

19:43 Adam What about on the set, like when you're making a movie?

19:47 Christy Canyon You know, some of those positions, again, without being in missionary to turn me on at first, it was really... it would be harder. Like, some scenes, you know, you'd be like up against a sink and you'd feel like the faucet up your spine. I mean, sometimes they were in bad positions, but a lot of times there's a lot of foreplay in videos which turns me on. So that would always help.

20:08 Adam Any turn on... what about the fact that there are, you know, guys in cutoffs with rolls of duct tape on their belt, wearing a jab flap, standing around? Is it a distraction or a turn on? Like, hold on a second, don't answer. But as a guy, it's a needless distraction. We'd like you all get the F out of the room. We could get busy. But if you got to stand around, you got to stand around. You know what it's like? It's like when you see like a lion eating a carcass of a gazelle and there's like flies landing on its head and occasionally bird land. It's like, all right, I wish they would go away, but I'm eating.

20:40 Christy Canyon I love that comparison.

20:43 Adam But now for a woman, it could be a, oh, my God, I can't do this or could be a, this is a turn on. There's a bunch of guys standing around.

20:52 Christy Canyon For me, it was a turn on because in my personal life, I'm very monogamous and boring. I don't know. But like I've never outside of films been into like group sex or multiple partners. Like I'm very.

21:08 Adam Why should you be? I mean, the guy who works at the at the windshields doesn't want donuts when he gets home.

21:13 Christy Canyon Exactly.

21:14 Adam You know what I mean? So I think.

21:17 Christy Canyon When I got to work, it was fun because I could do all these things that I wouldn't do in my normal life. So I never had a problem. I liked other people around. I thought it was very.

21:27 Adam It was a turn on.

21:28 Christy Canyon Yeah, it was.

21:29 Adam It's a turn on if you don't have to get a boner. You know, if you got to get a boner, it's tough. Guys definitely have a harder time stopping the filming while you're chubbing up in the corner filled with shame.

21:41 Drew You've got to take this next.

21:42 Adam Oh, my God.

21:43 Drew Very quickly.

21:44 Adam Was this John from System of a Down?

21:46 Drew Yes, Mr. Pornographer.

21:47 Christy Canyon He's Armenian.

21:48 Adam Yes, he is. John. What's happened? This is John from System of a Down. Yeah, John has a porn collection that would rival my own. Because John is the one who reunited me with Taboo 2.

22:15 Drew I will remind the listeners that when John last called in, it was because Adam was complaining he would give anything to get a copy of Taboo 2. John chimed in, had it. Adam left the studio to go get it.

22:27 Oh, who's in Taboo 2?

22:28 Adam Yeah, well, this is 70 miles away.

22:33 Christy Canyon How funny.

22:35 Adam Yeah, who's in Taboo 2? Well, Ron Jeremy, the ubiquitous Ron Jeremy, and then Bambi, and then Junior. I don't know whoever Junior is, and K Parker.

22:45 Christy Canyon But why did you want that one? What was so special about it?

22:47 Adam First off, wait a minute, wait a minute. Who's in Taboo 2? Who's in Taboo 2? Yes, how dare you? You know what this is like? You know what it's like? You know what it's like for you to ask that? It's like when you find some guy who's being coached by Mike Ditka, some young rookie. He says, oh, did you play coach? You played ball? You play in the NFL? Didn't know that. Yeah, not interested. It's funny.

23:12 Christy Canyon I wasn't in it, so why do you care about it?

23:14 Adam Well, I'll tell you why.

23:15 Christy Canyon I'm a little insulted.

23:16 Adam Well, I'll tell you why, because I didn't have on Golden Blonde.

23:19 I'll make you a copy of Insanity if you want, Adam.

23:23 Adam You kind of need it tonight.

23:26 You know what I mean?

23:29 By the way, you never called me. I had all those Swedish eroticas for you. I had the whole set.

23:33 Adam Oh, my God.

23:35 Drew See you tomorrow night.

23:36 Adam First off, John, I'm sorry. I hope you accept my apologies. Secondly... No, Cannot Tab. This is my average.

23:49 Christy Canyon Hold on.

23:50 Adam What do you have?

23:51 They also put Taboo American Style on DVD.

23:55 Adam What? They also put Taboo American Style on DVD.

24:00 Christy Canyon Oh, I got plenty. When are you going to be in concert? I want to come and see you.

24:04 We're in the middle of making our album right now. We just played a show on the 24th of April.

24:11 Christy Canyon Oh, where was it?

24:12 Caller It was at the Greek.

24:14 Christy Canyon Oh, well, if you have a number, I'll get it from them when the show's over.

24:18 Yeah, that's no problem.

24:21 Christy Canyon Why does Armenians have to stick together now?

24:24 Why does Armenians have to stick together now?

24:31 Christy Canyon The only problem is I went to Grand High School. I know a little bit.

24:41 Adam Someone just ordered something.

24:43 Christy Canyon Who cares?

24:44 I don't know if you guys saw the Boston game, but they kicked. Yeah.

24:51 Drew I can't believe it.

24:52 Adam Let's not talk about sports, John.

24:54 Drew Let's talk about dinner. You and I need to have dinner with John.

24:55 Adam We need to do that, but what we need to do is get like some sort of courier or something over. John, you still live in like off the 405 there?

25:05 Caller No, no. I'm with my family a little further west. You don't understand what I've gotten my hands on since the last time you checked out my collection though.

25:14 Adam Further, further west. What do you got? You got the Swedish erotica series. How far west did you go? What city are you in?

25:21 Caller West Hills.

25:22 Adam No, this is horrible.

25:23 Drew The Valley. All right.

25:25 Caller What I've told them some other time.

25:27 Adam Yeah, yeah. If I leave now though, I'm...

25:28 Drew Yeah, I told you. I'll see you tomorrow night.

25:31 Adam Well, I got a cell phone.

25:35 Drew All I know is last time you left early.

25:37 Well, we turned into a... Well, don't say that.

25:39 Adam I left a poker game. Oh, yeah. That's right, John. We said a poker game. John, give me your phone number. I got it. You got it on you?

25:47 Drew Yep, I do.

25:47 Adam Drew's got your number. You got his new number?

25:50 Drew I believe I do.

25:51 Adam All right. Hold on a second, John. Hold on. John from System of a Down, by the way, calls up, knows more about pornography than Ron Jeremy and Bobby Hollander put together. Oh, yeah.

26:05 Christy Canyon Bobby. Where did you come up with that name? You are a connoisseur.

26:07 Adam That's a deep cut, baby. All right. Christy Canyon here tonight. I'm going to call John because he has on Golden Blonde, which is a Christy first movie, take me right back to when I was 19, Drew, right back.

26:22 Christy Canyon Well, wait, you had to be 20 because I was 18.

26:25 Adam OK, then 20. Whatever. I may go back even a year just to play it safe. We'll take a quick break.

26:31 Drew Build into it.

26:32 Adam That's right. Slow, slow build. Don't want to pull a muscle. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, Christy Canyon in Studio Tonight, one of the legends of the adult film industry. I would say one of the, I don't know, I have top three biggest female names.

27:18 Christy Canyon Probably. A lot of it was the timing, too, in the mid-'80s when it was going from like the Pussycat Theater to your bedroom.

27:27 Adam Yeah, well, not really my bedroom, just the living room of the apartment. Wherever.

27:31 Drew Wherever the VCR was.

27:31 Adam Wherever the VCR was. And we've talked about that. You know, the guys, they move out, they get a bed, you know, two-bedroom, one-bedroom, and there's an argument. Where are we? Oh, VCR is going in my room. Oh, no, it's not. It's going in my room. Yeah. Your room becomes the Jackatorium now. Every second you're out of the apartment, your roommate is beating off on your comforter. You understand? Do not argue. You should be fighting to keep it out of your room.

27:57 Drew The worst thing is they decide to put it in the common space. Thinking, oh, we'll smart each other.

28:01 Adam That's rough.

28:02 Drew Then they walk in on one another repeatedly and blame one another for the problem.

28:05 Adam Or both get started at the same time. Oh, that's bad. Yeah, that's it's called a Mexican standoff and no one will back down and it gets it gets ugly. It's happened to me before. It's, you know, when you won't blink, you're playing chicken with another man. It's tough. It's tough. But, you know, you had to do what you had to do back in those days. And so, so Christy, so you did, you did the, oh, I was going to say, yeah, on Golden Blonde.

28:32 Christy Canyon Yes.

28:32 Adam Got to find that. So John has that.

28:34 Christy Canyon John's got it for you. I don't even have a copy. John, if you have two copies, I'll take one.

28:38 Adam I'm going to ask you. I'd like both of them. No. I need one. I need one for the car. I've got a VCR that hooks up to a cigarette lighter and, you know, a traffic, a bad traffic is true. I got the Sun Visor with LCD.

28:52 Christy Canyon The mini will be rocking. For a minute.

28:56 Adam So that that was number one. What was number two? Do you remember what the number two was? I might have to go through that one.

29:02 Christy Canyon It was called Night of Loving Dangerously. They always had these knockoff titles.

29:08 Adam Yeah.

29:08 Christy Canyon And then when I quit the business the first time in 85, I came back in 89. But in between, I was at like some family dinner and it was real stuffy. Everyone there was stuffy, some horrible dinner. And we were all talking about musicals and what we liked. And I, of course, had to open my mouth and say my favorite musical was Little Oral Annie at the dinner table with these like stuffy in-laws and step parents. And oh, my God. Like, but she was an actress in the business. And like the whole table just got really silent. Like, there she goes again. You can't control your daughter. Or Orphan Annie. These titles all like.

29:50 Adam No, I know. A couple of glasses of Chardonnay.

29:53 Christy Canyon I didn't even have anything to drink.

29:55 Adam Well, a couple of vials of heroin. You quit. You got out of the business in 85. Yes. And let's see. I'm trying to do. So you're only in the business for like a year. And then you got out.

30:07 Christy Canyon Not even.

30:07 Adam Is that right?

30:08 Christy Canyon Probably like eight months. And then I quit for four years and worked for my dad.

30:11 Drew What motivated you to get out?

30:15 Christy Canyon Just burnout. I got to send you a copy if you give me your address, because I wrote a book last year.

30:20 Adam Don't you have her book, Drew?

30:22 Drew I wasn't here when you were.

30:24 Christy Canyon And someone stole your copy, I think.

30:26 Adam No, I have it. I got to be honest with you. I haven't read Drew's books.

30:29 Drew He's not read my book, not seen my film.

30:31 Christy Canyon Oh, I did. For hours.

30:36 Adam Christy's the only one who saw it.

30:38 Drew And she liked it.

30:38 Adam Christy and one of the Olsen twins. It's the only people in America that saw that flaming card.

30:43 Drew See that as it may. But I will send you a copy. My friend has not witnessed either of these things.

30:48 Adam Send him a copy.

30:49 Drew I'm going to.

30:49 Adam Please send Drew a copy because he will read a Turkish driving manual.

30:54 Drew I would.

30:55 Adam You throw something at him, he just starts reading it.

30:57 Christy Canyon And it's a real, it's like an autobiography. And I mean, really.

31:01 Adam Is this stuff all in there? Because I might have to open it up.

31:04 Christy Canyon What's it called? It's called Lights, Camera, Sex. But I will send you a copy if you can get the address.

31:12 Adam All right. Night of Loving Dangerously. That's number two.

31:15 Christy Canyon Yes.

31:16 Drew Little Earl Annie.

31:17 Adam No, no, no.

31:18 Christy Canyon That was a girl I worked with.

31:19 Adam Please. Drew. All right. So you worked in the industry for like eight months.

31:24 Christy Canyon Yes.

31:24 Adam And you made like how many films?

31:27 Christy Canyon Oh, probably 40.

31:29 Adam 40. Now, is that when you had the short hair? Because sometimes you got to look. I can only judge by the hair.

31:34 Christy Canyon Oh, that was the Buffon Dippity Doo.

31:36 Adam When was that?

31:37 Christy Canyon That was the 84, 85 era.

31:39 Adam That's the first short hairs, early, early stuff.

31:43 Christy Canyon Yes.

31:43 Adam OK, again, I, you know.

31:46 Christy Canyon Sure. All right.

31:47 Adam And then you get out and you work for your dad for a year, four years, four years.

31:53 Christy Canyon He was an accountant.

31:54 Adam Oh, those are prime porn years, too, by the way.

31:57 Christy Canyon They were.

31:58 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

31:58 Christy Canyon They were fun.

31:59 Adam No, well, they weren't for me because you were out of the business. All I had was on Golden Blonde. So and you couldn't you couldn't really own back then. You had to you just ran. And then if you ever lost the movie, that's one hundred and twenty two dollars.

32:12 Drew Oh, they're expensive.

32:13 Adam They were so it was like it was insane. Like you would go, oh, kids, you don't know how lucky you have it. If you rented a movie and the movie got left in your car and it got melted or the car got stolen or something got ripped off or so on, whatever, you'd go back to the you know, wasn't a blockbuster, but whatever it was. And you'd be like, yeah, I lost the film. And they'd be like, let's see on Golden Pond, or it wouldn't matter if it was porn or if it was Raiders of the Last Star, be like, that's eighty nine, eighty nine. They were so much. This is nineteen eighty five. You know what I mean? You're making seven dollars an hour. That's ninety dollars. You owe them like it's crazy.

32:50 Christy Canyon I know. I know. Now they're what about two bucks?

32:54 Adam Well, King's Ransom for on Golden Blast. Oh, yes. So can we dispatch a courier? Go visit John over there. Nobody's got a set of wheels around here. Where are the van drivers? Don't we have van drivers? What about the van drivers? Someone get on the blower and find one of these van drivers. You know, there are some cockamamie party patrols somewhere. They're doing nothing.

33:13 Drew We got an extra screener over here.

33:15 Caller Maybe we can send Zig.

33:16 Adam Extra screener? Yeah.

33:18 Caller What?

33:18 Adam Zig? What do you got? You got wheels? Ziggy's got wheels. What do you got there? Ziggy, is something going to get you out to the west?

33:23 Caller Brand new Ford Focus?

33:25 Adam Ford Focus. And I like the name of that because that's what I'm going to need. I'm going to need focus. I'm going to need your hands at ten and two. I don't want the radio on. I don't want any distractions.

33:34 Drew He's got to be back within the hour.

33:36 Adam That's all right.

33:37 Drew All the way to West Hills.

33:38 Adam All right. Hold on, Ziggy, because we got to call. Unless you drop that tape off, I'll make it worth your while. I went by the ATM today. I swear to Christ. You know what I'm saying, kid? I did. It'll be cool. Just don't blow him. Give him a little street style reach around for the effort. All right. Do that thing where you crack your knuckles and stay loose. I'm going to get on the blower with John and see if we can work this one out. Maybe it's one of those, leave it in the mailbox. All right. Christy Canyon here.

34:08 Drew Very excited.

34:09 Adam She's going to be... Don't break it. No, I know. I'm not breaking.

34:12 Drew I'm just doing a little...

34:13 Adam We took half a call a while back.

34:15 Drew No, no.

34:15 Adam We took a call last show.

34:17 Drew Remember that? Yes, last show, last second. All right.

34:18 Adam No, I mean... Tuesday. Tuesday. All right. Let's go.

34:23 Drew Let's break it down. Break it down.

34:24 Adam Let's focus.

34:24 Drew Focus what you need.

34:26 Adam Let's go. Saturday, October 23rd, this Saturday at the Cow Palace in San Francisco, going to be at the 25th Annual Exotic Erotic Ball, doing a little signing and exotic and erotic balling over there, I guess. It's a good time. Pop a little of those, some of those Amel poppers, you know, and you just X out a little and you just got to tug on some nipples. It's awesome. You ready?

34:49 Drew Here we go.

34:50 Adam Here we go. Let's break it down. Alan?

34:52 Yeah.

34:53 Adam What's up?

34:54 What's up, Matt? I've got problems when I'm having sex with my girlfriend. Condoms don't stay on.

35:06 Drew Anything we need to know about your dimensions?

35:08 Well, I'm not circumcised and the foreskin seems to pull it up every time it comes back to the tip.

35:19 Drew Can you pull the foreskin down before you roll on the condom?

35:25 Yes and no. I've tried doing it with and tried doing it without. It doesn't seem to work.

35:30 Adam Yeah. You gotta use a coat hanger and kind of get in there. You know, when you're wearing a cast and you got an itch. There's a little of that. First off, I can't believe this is all foreskin related because many guys wear condoms that aren't cut.

35:46 Drew Right.

35:46 Adam So what about some guys have a penis shaped like a TR7. Some wedge shaped things.

35:54 Drew Nice.

35:55 Adam Yeah. Hey, Alan. Maybe you should step down to a smaller size or put like a zip tie around the waist of the joint there or something. I don't know. Or hang. Do you have a girlfriend? Do you have a girlfriend?

36:11 Yes, but it's really not an issue at the moment.

36:16 Drew You're not having sex?

36:18 She's deeply religious.

36:20 Adam Hold on a second. Bogus.

36:23 Drew Yeah.

36:24 Adam It just struck me.

36:24 Drew Bogus. Yeah. Bogus and if not Bogus, why?

36:27 Adam Boring. Alan. Yeah. Bogus. You've been sussed out, my brother. Yeah. Sorry, buddy.

36:35 Drew Nice try.

36:36 Adam Nice try.

36:37 Drew All right.

36:38 Adam Good try. Please bring something to the table, everyone. You start off with something confusing and at first we're trying to decipher it and then it just becomes Bogus.

36:47 Drew It just starts to be meaningless.

36:50 Adam Yeah. Impressed. He's an idiot.

36:52 Drew Keep going. Move along.

36:53 Adam No. I'm just saying, look, bring the Bogus call. Make it titillating. Make it exciting. You know what I'm saying?

37:01 Drew But again, we always have to set the rules. Not so far over the top, though, that we can't evaluate it objectively.

37:07 Adam Well, here's the thing, you can't call and say you have AIDS because we have to take it seriously. You can't call the fire department and say, you know, your kid is choking. That's not a prank. Come up with something interesting to see if you can fool us.

37:19 Christy Canyon Have you ever actually heard of anyone really having that problem before?

37:23 Drew Which?

37:23 Adam The foreskin?

37:24 Drew Not like that.

37:25 Christy Canyon The problem with the condom?

37:26 Drew No, not like that.

37:27 Adam No. They fall off every once in a while, but it's usually because a guy has a little circulation problem.

37:33 Drew Or they keep going after they've ejaculated, or they're not paying attention to it and it slips off after a period of time, or they were having sex first, then put the condom on. Right.

37:42 Adam Here we go. Now, there's another guy. Do we need to talk to a guy?

37:46 Drew Look at the board there. One girl.

37:48 Adam Sherman Oaks. Jenny? What's up?

37:54 How's it going?

37:55 Adam Well, it's going to be good as soon as I get the Ziggy on the road.

37:58 Nice.

37:59 Adam Focused. What's happening? The focus is probably going to be like a thimble full of gas getting out of there, so I have to reimburse it for that. Does it have a passenger seat, those cars?

38:12 Drew It's actually a sidecar.

38:13 Adam It's a sidehack? You just sit in a bucket? Airbags, a Ziploc bag.

38:20 Drew Jenny, what is your question?

38:21 Adam Hi.

38:22 OK. Well, when I was little, when I was like five or so, I used to have weird sexual fantasies involving being abducted and molested. And before you ask, no, that didn't happen to me, or at least I have no recollection of it.

38:35 Adam When you were five?

38:36 Yeah, when I was probably, because I remember living in the place that I lived in, and I was six and under when I lived in that place.

38:43 Drew And you actually had a specific sort of fantasy of what? What kind of sexual contact?

38:49 Well, like people abducting me and then, you know, like forcing me to do things, or touching me.

38:57 Drew Where?

38:58 It's pretty vivid.

38:59 Well, they would take off my underwear or something when I was five and, you know, like touch me and things like that. And like none of this actually happened to me, you know?

39:08 Adam Good and creepy. But Drew, if you just watch in the news that, you know, sitting in front of the TV, right?

39:15 Drew Yeah, there wasn't actual intercourse in these fantasies. There wasn't intercourse in these fantasies.

39:21 No, there wasn't.

39:22 Drew Yeah, just sort of out of control, touching. I mean, that could be, I mean, that could be remnant memories from even like, diapering changes. Anything, anything dramatic go on in your family early, early on?

39:32 No, I mean, I remember having a really healthy, happy childhood, like...

39:37 Drew No, no, no, no, no. This doesn't really mean anything specific, what you're describing, but it might be, it's like, kind of like a recurrent dream.

39:44 Adam I could get Ziggy over to John's.

39:46 Drew Yeah, there may have been something that happened that sort of had a residual effect and you sort of, the memory itself came out in this preoccupation. Something, you know, that was traumatizing to you at the time, but not overwhelming.

40:00 Adam We can't solve the world's problems in one night show. We just got to get Ziggy over to John's.

40:05 Drew What are you going to say?

40:06 I was going to say that, like, I don't even recall being exposed to, like, pornographic material.

40:10 Drew No, no, no, no, this is not about that.

40:11 At least until I was, like, eight or something.

40:13 Adam It's the beginning of exposure to pornographic material. Eight?

40:18 Well, yeah, I had a friend who found her parents' stash and showed it to me, so.

40:23 Adam But then again, what are you going to do?

40:24 Drew But you're okay now. You have relationships that are stable, right?

40:27 Yeah. I mean, everything.

40:28 Adam Everyone land. You land on your feet.

40:30 Drew You land on your feet.

40:31 Christy Canyon It's all a trial and error out there.

40:34 Drew Adam cannot concentrate. He's got to get that focus out to West Hills. I got to get to the end of it. What radio show?

40:42 Adam Go. Yeah.

40:43 Christy Canyon Is it normal? I mean, do people usually remember when they were abused or is it very rare that it's so buried that they don't remember?

40:52 Drew It can be buried and those really the present is the evidence of the past. If somebody has very chaotic relationships or gets re-involved in abusive relationships, you can bet that they were in that situation when they were younger than they were.

41:09 Adam I got to get on the horn with John, I got to get Ziggy some directions. No, we got to take a break.

41:14 Drew I know. I'm going to break. You go outside and take the phone. All right.

41:16 Christy Canyon I was never abused.

41:18 Drew I understand. But the fact is that the quality of the relationships is evident that something had happened in the past. If somebody says, gee, I don't remember anything in my childhood before the age of 12 and I've got chaotic relationships, well, that's something went on there. On the other hand, most people that were sexual abuse or physical abuse have recollections of it, this whole idea of hidden memories. There goes Adam.

41:40 Christy Canyon Did he really go to call Ziggy?

41:42 Yes, he did.

41:44 Christy Canyon Adam, you're so cute.

41:46 Drew This is Loveline, Christy Canyon. We'll be right back.

42:23 Adam I was going to send Ziggy out on a run.

42:27 Drew You should call back in if he has a different number than what I have.

42:29 Adam John, if you're listening, hey, this is Adam. We're going to need you to call the hotline, brother. I don't care what you're doing right now.

42:40 Drew John, please call, he's going to blow.

42:41 Adam Please call, John, just call.

42:43 Christy Canyon Or come down here.

42:44 Adam No, cannot have. No, cannot have. I am being a waiter. It's goat based. No, cannot have. No, cannot have. No, cannot have.

42:57 No, cannot have. No, cannot have.

43:34 Spain and Mexico.

43:35 Adam I still don't know the difference.

43:37 Drew They had a relationship at one time.

43:38 Adam They did? Well, good. Let's see. Let's two get back together. Anyway, both beautiful places. They're in the same place. Spanish food, Mexican food. Different.

43:49 Drew Different.

43:49 Adam You have to put up with them every night. Language is like the same. Almost the same?

43:53 Drew Yeah.

43:54 Adam Same?

43:54 Drew Look at us.

44:10 Adam No, cannot have. It's going to be doing a little signing and then making the scene. All right.

44:36 Drew Quick call with Mike here.

44:37 Adam Quick call with Mike. Again.

44:39 Drew We will not be able to take that.

44:40 Adam John from System of a Down.

44:41 Drew Please call. He's losing it too.

44:43 Adam And look, look, John, if you're nervous, you're worried, you're thinking, you know, I may be heading over right now with like sport and wood. I sure...

45:25 Junior college rule. I made it out.

45:27 Adam What happened?

45:28 Well, I went in, and I had to figure it out. I had to pay for college myself. Parents were different tax brackets, so they wouldn't help. I took my own way and paid for it myself. Decided, you know, junior college is cheap.

45:42 Drew And where did you go afterwards?

45:44 St. Cloud State.

45:46 Drew St. Cloud? I spoke at St. Cloud.

45:58 I am a sales major.

45:59 Drew And now what are you doing now?

46:00 I was working for a medical supply company at the time.

46:04 Caller And now I am a sales rep for them.

46:06 It's been going spectacular.

46:08 Adam Alright. Well, there you go, Mike. I love it. Alright, we have one success story. 200 million people that go to junior college. One person graduated.

46:18 Drew I just graduated. I graduated and gainfully employed now.

46:21 Adam That's a step in the right direction. Still not worth the billions of tax dollars we flushed down the toilet so people can live at home and play hacky sack and smoke on their parents' dime, but fantastic. Alright. Well, John, when I am wrong, I am wrong. Still not wrong about junior college.

46:38 Drew Alright.

46:38 Adam Who do you want to talk to, Joe?

46:39 Drew No, break.

46:40 Adam Oh, take a break?

46:40 Drew Yes.

46:41 Adam Oh, my God.

46:42 Drew Yes.

46:42 Adam Okay, hold on. John, Adam, friends call me Ace, over here. Got a situation. John, please call. Please call, John. Ziggy's got to be dispatched to your pad in the next 10 or 15 minutes, otherwise he ain't got to make it back, in which case he's going to have to drive her to my house. No, cannot, no, no, cannot, no! That was like when we went out and ate Armenian food with System of Down, like, hey, System of Down, the world's biggest Armenian rock band, yeah. Hey, how about we get those, and we'll make them into appetizers. Christy Canyon here tonight.

47:18 Caller We'll take a quick break.

47:19 Adam We'll be right back.

47:21 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

47:26 Adam What are women most attracted to?

47:28 Drew Confident guys.

47:29 Adam That's right. You can't buy that confidence. At least you couldn't until now.

47:33 Drew What do we got?

47:34 Adam You got Axe, Deodorant, Body Spray. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Christy Canyon here tonight. Christy, of course, a legendary adult film star, and I'm a big personal fan because we knew each other before she got into the business.

48:14 Christy Canyon We go way back.

48:16 Adam Really makes a nice payday for me. And I'll tell you what, John from System of a Down, who's the one who reunited me with Taboo 2.

48:26 Drew That used to be your friend, John from System of a Down?

48:29 Adam Well, John, if you're out there, buddy, hey, it's the ace man. Give a buzz, just pick up the phone, would you? Love to hear from you. Love to hear from you. And basically what happened is in the first hour, John called in, told me he had Christy's first movie, which is, to me, that's a home run ball. You know what I mean? That has a lot of sentimental value. You know what I'm saying? That's worth something. You know, you want the 500th home run ball. You want the 501 or the 499. You know what I mean? That's the 500 for me.

49:01 Drew You also want the one you saw. You were there to witness the 500.

49:04 Adam Right, I was there with my dad. He's passed away now. You know what I'm saying? It's important. That's sentimental value. John called in, said he had on Golden Blonde. I was gonna dispatch Ziggy, phone screener Ziggy, to go get it and now John's gone. So he did say that he lives somewhere in the west San Fernando Valley. What I'm gonna need, thanks for being more specific. There's a point. I need Ziggy to start combing the area. Serpentine, zigzag, just knocking on doors. If a Armenian guy looks like he rocks pretty hard, answers it, ask him who's John.

49:42 Drew Take him down.

49:42 Adam Take him down and go start opening all the books. A lot of stuff is hollowed out. You see like the Armenian Bible or something. Pop it open. It's in there. The point is, if it's just an old white guy or a woman or something, just keep moving. And it's not, I've narrowed it down to about a 14 mile square area. You just hit that area, we'll get it, and then you run it over to Mind Path.

50:04 Christy Canyon Now, do you like it when the videos, the collector's ones such as mine, have the original box? Or will you just take a dupe, a duplicated copy?

50:14 Adam You know, you take what one can get. But yeah, the original box is nice.

50:18 Drew I'll just remind you, it's the same guy that's gonna be crawling around the neighborhood all night looking for it.

50:22 Christy Canyon And it says, I'm not even on the cover, but it says introducing Christy Canyon.

50:27 Adam Yes, we all introduced ourselves to Christy.

50:32 Christy Canyon They didn't think I'd stick around this long.

50:34 Adam Yeah, and how many movies, how many movies did you make all together?

50:38 Christy Canyon God, I don't know, maybe about 70.

50:41 Adam About 70? Now, is that a ton or is that not that much?

50:45 Christy Canyon Not for this day and age because the last 10 years, I was with, well, no, the last six years, I've made films with Vivid Video.

50:51 Adam Just to a handful a year?

50:52 Christy Canyon Yeah, like three or four. And a lot of them from the mid 80s, you can't even get anymore because they had Tracy Lourdes in them. So I'd say half of mine from the early mid 80s, you can't even get anymore.

51:05 Adam Oh, really? Wow, that is a shame. What if I get it and I just sort of hold my hand over where Tracy is?

51:11 Drew Just black out her eyes.

51:13 Adam Yeah, you could put the stars on her.

51:16 Christy Canyon I won't get jealous. You could watch her.

51:19 Adam And she was underage. Half those movies from that from that period.

51:22 Christy Canyon Yes, we worked together all the time because her and Ginger Lynn and I were like the top three and her and Ginger hated each other. There was always some rivalry and I always was just in the middle. So right. It was like Tracy and me in a movie or Ginger and me. But it was rare to see Ginger and Tracy.

51:39 Adam So why those are worth more.

51:41 Christy Canyon I know. Poor me. I just hate these beautiful girls I had to work with.

51:44 Adam And so what did they do? Did they destroy all those or they had it because she was underage at the time or what? How does that work?

51:52 Christy Canyon I think that they I would assume that they destroyed him or shipped him to Europe where they probably don't care.

51:58 Drew I bet John has.

51:59 Adam Hold on. I got to go to Europe. Ziggy, gas up the Cessna and go to Europe.

52:07 Christy Canyon Well, I better go with you to that trip to make sure that you find the right one. All right.

52:11 Caller You know, co-pilot.

52:14 Adam Yeah. So she was underage. I mean, Tracy Lourdes was. So those had to be destroyed. I'm sure John is handful, too, because, you know, it's like prana is illegal, but I'm sure John is a tank.

52:26 Drew He may have destroyed his videos.

52:27 Adam He probably uses them to guard his Tracy Lourdes.

52:30 Drew He wore them out.

52:32 Adam Slow death. OK, so so those are gone, but still plenty, still plenty. And do you make money off of these things still? Or is it just one of those things like Gilligan's Island, Gilligan's Island?

52:45 Christy Canyon From the 84 to 85 era, no, you got a set fee and that was it. But then when I came back in 89 and signed with Vivid Video, I did get a royalty and then five years after it came out, then I got a payout.

52:59 Adam And what was the set fee like back in the day, 84, 85?

53:07 Christy Canyon Oh, I think for two scenes a day, it was like a thousand dollars. Hey, when you're 18, that was like a million bucks. I could buy a pair of shoes in ten different colors.

53:20 Adam And what we do, we live in an apartment. Did you have a boyfriend? Like, what were we doing back then when we were making that kind of money?

53:27 Christy Canyon Um, I did not have a boyfriend.

53:29 Adam Mm-hmm.

53:30 Christy Canyon You know, I'd go to a lot of clubs. I don't know if you remember, like, we were talking for a second before the show. It's like Seven Seas or Voila. Do you remember that at the Beverly Center?

53:39 Adam Yeah, I wasn't allowed to go to that ass. Well, because I was a dude and because I didn't have any money.

53:44 Christy Canyon They always let me right through the ropes.

53:46 Adam I did clean carpets at Voila once. Did you clean the orchards? Yeah, at the Beverly Center.

53:50 Christy Canyon Um, you know, I think I was just, just did things that most 18-year-olds did.

53:55 Adam They just had a good time.

53:56 Christy Canyon But instead of going, you know, to work at the clothing store, I'd go to work on a porn set.

54:00 Adam And would, and then as the years wore on, you were making good money. Were we saving some of the money? Were you investing some of the money? Did you buy a house? Were you just living in an apartment?

54:13 Caller No.

54:14 Christy Canyon Um, I was very smart. It's that Armenian in me. It's that good Armenian gene.

54:20 Adam Ron Jeremy's Armenian?

54:22 Caller No.

54:22 Adam Yeah. I thought it was a joke.

54:25 Caller All right.

54:26 Adam So so you saved the money and you bought stuff. And you're not just shoes. You bought like a condo or something.

54:32 Christy Canyon I had actually a house and I actually own three apartment buildings.

54:36 Oh, wow.

54:37 Adam Nice. Sweet.

54:39 Christy Canyon You need to move to Bellflower. So just different things and three apartment buildings.

54:46 Adam And did you have like a money manager or something like that or some advisor? Um, would the industry look after you at all?

54:54 Christy Canyon Vivid is the best. I love that company. The owner is just amazing. He would like steer me in the right direction. Like, you know, I use this guy, Smith Barney, if you're interested. And and I just trust him so much that I just would do whatever he said. And it always turned out right.

55:11 Adam What about stuff like taxes? Would you ever get in trouble with that? Did the IRS come after you?

55:18 Christy Canyon I always paid every year.

55:19 Drew Oh, Lord.

55:20 Christy Canyon I mean, I paid everything. I never. I mean, I was fine.

55:24 Drew She got her own patrol car.

55:25 Adam Right. So you would have only I know what you're talking about.

55:29 Christy Canyon I'm just thinking, that's all right.

55:30 Adam He 20 years ago, you know, the thing is, so like they would give you a 1099. Like like vivid would be like, all right, we paid you one hundred thousand dollars this year, so you're responsible for thirty thousand dollars worth of taxes.

55:43 Christy Canyon Like that, it definitely I got 1099, which I still do from them for the website stuff. But but since I'm an independent contractor and I'm an actress, model slash author now, I have just such wonderful write off, write things off. But I have to pay every year of self-employment tax and all that. And sure. But I always file that second extension. I think I just paid.

56:08 Drew We're missing something.

56:09 Adam What? No, that's what you do. Yeah.

56:12 Caller All right.

56:15 Adam Let's talk to Keel.

56:17 Caller Keel.

56:18 Caller Keel.

56:19 Caller Hey.

56:20 Adam Hey, you're 20. What's up?

56:22 Caller I have this problem that it doesn't matter who the girl is, whether if it's a one night stand or if it's a girl that I'm in love with. But every time we have sex for about 10 to 15 minutes afterwards, I just can't be touched by her in any way.

56:37 Drew What is the feeling associated with the touch?

56:40 Caller Anything. It doesn't necessarily have to do with.

56:43 Drew What is the feeling you have when they touch you?

56:46 Caller It's just like a cold feeling like I just need my personal space for a minute.

56:52 Adam After your orgasm?

56:54 Caller Yeah.

56:56 Drew That's a normal physiologic response. It's a little exaggerated in your case, but basically what men want to do is go back in the cave.

57:02 Adam Yeah.

57:02 Drew That's basically what that's about.

57:08 Caller It's kind of confusing to me because usually I love the whole coupling thing, but it's just after that one instance.

57:14 Drew Yeah. Back to the bogus again.

57:15 Adam Is this bogus?

57:16 Drew Yes. He didn't need to go around with that.

57:19 Adam He didn't need to say that.

57:20 Caller Okay.

57:20 Adam First off, it's almost a non-question.

57:23 Drew Right.

57:24 Caller Keel? Yeah.

57:27 Adam We're labeling this bogus.

57:31 Christy Canyon Second one tonight.

57:32 Caller Yeah.

57:32 Adam Sorry, brother. Nice try, though.

57:35 Caller Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it.

57:38 Drew What is that instinct to push to get that next round in there? Except they have a punch on their arm to squeeze it in.

57:45 Caller Yeah.

57:45 Adam Here's the deal. Here's the deal with these bogus calls. It's like a game of horse. You're winning. You're doing good. You're hitting the free throws. You're shooting the baseline shot. Now you're going to do the sky hook off the picnic table. It's too tough. You're not going to make it. Stay with the easy shots and just keep the ball. You know what I mean? That's what it is.

58:04 Christy Canyon Do you get a lot of bogus calls every night?

58:06 Adam No.

58:06 Drew A couple. One or two a night, would you say?

58:10 Adam No.

58:10 Drew Less than that?

58:11 Adam Yeah, I'd say less than that. Yeah, probably two a week. We don't know.

58:17 Drew Some we don't know.

58:18 Adam But I think we're pretty good at it. I think we think when we know.

58:24 Christy Canyon If they're bogus but interesting, then it's kind of fun.

58:28 Adam Yeah, hold on a second. John, John from System of a Down. This is Adam, come on, buddy. What's going on? Hey, buddy, if I said anything to offend you or anything about their meaning people or anything like that, brother, you know it's just ingest and you know how I feel about you and your band and your peeps. I know I owed you a phone call, but I mean, you know what I'm saying? I just hope you can kind of be man enough and just don't make me beg. No, no, no, no, just go. Really?

59:09 Drew Yeah.

59:09 Adam No, I think we gotta work that out.

59:11 Drew We work that out.

59:12 Adam Really? Do you think we're ready? I haven't heard any music. Michelle's ready. Yeah, now you got the good music for Ace's accordion countdown? Yes, I do. Is it solid? All right, hold on a second then. Christy Canyon here tonight, gonna be at the Cow Palace on Saturday with the erotic exotic ball out in San Francisco. It's a little game we would play around the Kimmel Riders office. It's called the Ace's Mexican accordion countdown. We play the ranchero music and then before we announce, how long, how long before the accordion comes in? Drew kicked my ass last night, by the way.

59:46 Drew Well, we both got burned by a couple songs that never accordion never came on.

59:49 Adam At the end, it never kicked in. What can you do?

59:51 Caller Yeah, yeah.

59:52 Drew Chris is not following.

59:52 Christy Canyon No, what is this game I wanna play?

59:55 Adam Here's how you do it.

59:56 Caller Here's how you do it.

59:57 Adam I'm gonna pick a time. You, we, when engineer Michelle fires up the music, you, how long until we hear the accordion?

1:00:05 Drew After the music starts, how long before an accordion cranks up?

1:00:07 Adam It could be immediately. Could be immediately.

1:00:10 Christy Canyon Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me think of what the accordion, okay, it's that big, huge thing that goes in and out.

1:00:15 Adam That's us.

1:00:17 Drew Not you.

1:00:18 Adam Another Ron Jeremy joke, everyone. Now, come on, Drew, you go first. What do you say?

1:00:22 Drew Eight seconds.

1:00:23 Adam Eight seconds, all right? I'm going five.

1:00:26 Christy Canyon Wait, I wanna pick one.

1:00:27 Adam Well, pick a number.

1:00:29 Christy Canyon Six and a half seconds.

1:00:31 Adam We can't, we don't get into fractions here. We can't break that down.

1:00:34 Drew Three.

1:00:35 Adam Three seconds, three seconds.

1:00:36 Drew Over or under.

1:00:37 Adam Three seconds. All right, now, Drew, I'm gonna punch you if this isn't the right music that Michelle brought in.

1:00:42 Drew Oh, Michelle.

1:00:44 Adam No, it's all right. She feels strongly about it. All right, let me get to the 30. You ready, Michelle?

1:00:48 Drew Sure, I'll music, yes?

1:00:48 Adam Yes, you ready? Go.

1:00:56 Drew I did it.

1:00:57 Adam Wow!

1:00:57 Drew That's good. Here, a little more, a little more, come on.

1:01:01 Adam Just a little taste, just a little taste. Hey, come on. Just a little taste, just a little taste. Wow, that was two and a half, three seconds. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no, cut. No, no, we like the same song. We like the first one. Don't yell at her. How dare you, Drew.

1:01:22 Christy Canyon That song made me want to have a big Mexican dinner right now.

1:01:31 Adam There you go. Now, Drew, you went with eight seconds. Way off, crazy off. Christy went with three. I think I went with four and I think I think that was probably about two and a half or three, right?

1:01:45 Drew I thought it opened with accordion.

1:01:46 Adam No, no, there was two beats before it started. Wow. Nobody's better at the Ace's Mexican accordion countdown than Christy Canyon. I claim ex-porn stars have an unfair advantage. I really do.

1:02:02 Christy Canyon Why is that? Well, you know, I have to admit that song was in one of my films.

1:02:06 Adam That's right. That's right.

1:02:10 Christy Canyon Sing that three-way.

1:02:12 Adam Oh, is there anything more annoying?

1:02:14 Drew All right.

1:02:15 Adam Let's let's keep. Well, I think I work like a charm. Nice, nice job. Engineer, Michelle. Wonderful job. I should talk to Carla from Bakersfield.

1:02:24 Drew Sure.

1:02:26 Adam Powerful.

1:02:27 Drew Was there only one song? You have only one song?

1:02:29 Adam She's got a few. The rest of the theme from the guy.

1:02:33 I don't know where it came from, but I have two CDs.

1:02:35 Adam Two CDs full of Ranchero music.

1:02:38 Just for you, Adam.

1:02:40 Adam Yeah. Now, it's unfair because Drew could have heard many, many, I mean, Drew, in college, you listen to almost nothing but Ranchero music when you studied, right? Pot it up a little, you know, when you're studying, when you're like studying anatomy, this is what you want, right? I can see you burning the midnight oil. It's like you got a final the following morning.

1:03:05 Drew You certainly can't sleep.

1:03:15 Adam All right, you ready to rock here? Let's talk to Carla, who's 17. Carla? Hello? Calling from Bakersfield, beautiful Bakersfield.

1:03:27 Drew So sorry.

1:03:28 Yeah.

1:03:29 Adam What's up, baby doll?

1:03:31 Oh, well, I kind of like seem to be going out with guys who don't get along with their dad.

1:03:38 Adam Mm-hmm.

1:03:38 All right.

1:03:39 Adam You have a current boyfriend? It's time to play Ace's Mexican Accordion Countdown. Round two. Do you have something worked out there? All right, Christy, what do you think?

1:03:54 Christy Canyon Are we doing the accordion?

1:03:56 Adam Round two.

1:03:56 Christy Canyon Seven seconds.

1:03:58 Adam Seven seconds.

1:03:59 Christy Canyon I'm going to go for seven.

1:04:00 Adam Powerful. I'm going to write that down. Man, this is tough. I'm just going on a crazy whim. Crazy whim. Eighteen seconds. Eighteen seconds. Zero. Oh, immediate. I mean, hold on. Don't hit it yet. Let's wait till the clock gets to top. You ready? Ready, Michelle? Hit it. How'd you know?

1:04:26 Drew In the hizzy.

1:04:29 Adam Nobody plays this game better than Drew.

1:04:31 Drew And it would be that wild polka beat, too.

1:04:36 Adam Again, exclusively listening to The Ranchero.

1:04:39 Drew How else would I have known that?

1:04:41 Adam You're right. Come on.

1:04:44 Drew Right back to college. It goes cold winters in New England.

1:04:46 Adam Are you kidding? So let's just set the scene. It's 1978.

1:04:51 Drew 1976, 1978. It's February.

1:04:55 Adam Snowing.

1:04:55 Drew 20 below zero. Snowing outside. Cold winds on the New England countryside.

1:04:59 Caller And there you are.

1:05:00 Drew Here I am. Studying biology, biochemistry.

1:05:03 Adam Right out of a love story.

1:05:05 Drew And a little floss to mix Daniel Descartes and some Hume. I remember David Hume's name jumps into my mind when I hear the music. That's a medical school. This is all general liberal arts. Give me this song. No, this is not a good song. Give me another one.

1:05:22 Adam Would you do... This is like what you would do like... I didn't know. I didn't know, Drew. I didn't know. I figured it was like classical music or jazz or fusion or something.

1:05:38 Christy Canyon That music reminds me of like being in Cabo San Lucas on the beach.

1:05:43 Adam What?

1:05:43 Drew Why?

1:05:44 Christy Canyon That music that we just heard?

1:05:47 Drew I think about New England in the winter.

1:05:48 Adam Yeah, I think I do. I think about I think about snow. I think about old buildings and Ivy League and Bell Tower. And football.

1:06:00 Christy Canyon I don't think of the winter time at all with that music.

1:06:03 Adam Turn it up. Okay. So what I'm picturing is a street covered with snow and I'm seeing the ice ice ice. I'm seeing I'm seeing the orange leaves that are falling. I'm seeing kids wearing sweaters.

1:06:23 Drew And I hear the cars moving by with the salt in the road.

1:06:26 Christy Canyon And a plow in the distance.

1:06:32 Adam Oh, they're like a tapping maple trees.

1:06:35 Drew It's a hot apple cider.

1:06:40 Adam And the football game with everyone bundled. It's a football game.

1:07:04 Christy Canyon Always crazy porn girls.

1:07:06 Adam That's a different life.

1:07:07 Drew I don't know what they do to them.

1:07:11 Adam There's no counting for taste.

1:07:13 Christy Canyon Shooting a sex scene on the beach. Hawaiian tropics sporting. Especially the ah song.

1:07:25 Adam All right. Teach your own, I guess.

1:07:28 Drew I can do. Takes all kinds.

1:07:30 Adam It really does. Christy Canyon in studio tonight. Drew. Brought back to college. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. I'm Adam. And it's Dr. Groove on number 1-800-LOVE-191. Christy Canyon, legendary Don't Film Actress. Christy Canyon, dear, dear friend. Here tonight, Christy and I go way back.

1:08:09 Drew She's a good Aces, Accordion, and Countdown player.

1:08:12 Adam Solid.

1:08:12 Christy Canyon I won one out of two.

1:08:14 Adam Yeah.

1:08:14 Christy Canyon Not bad for a new girl.

1:08:15 Adam You won the first round with three seconds. It's probably more like two and a half, but you're closest. I won four, so I was off by a mile. Drew went immediate.

1:08:26 Drew Got it.

1:08:26 Adam Yeah.

1:08:27 Drew Nailed it.

1:08:27 Adam Nailed it. Nailed it. So you guys, well, I'll tell you what. We'll play the rubber match coming up. I know everything's double on time, really, isn't it?

1:08:36 Drew I was just thinking every musical, every book has got a porn potential to it.

1:08:42 Adam Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Even when they'll take like serious movies like Philadelphia, Fill Your Belly. Yeah, it was like crazy. It's a guy with AIDS. Yeah, yeah. I got a porn version.

1:08:58 Christy Canyon They just don't get AIDS and it's not really in Philadelphia.

1:09:02 Adam Yeah, I wonder, like I don't even need a, I don't need a plot. I don't need a sound. I don't need anything. Let's just, let's get to it.

1:09:09 Christy Canyon You don't like a cute little plot?

1:09:13 Adam No, no, no, I don't, I like, I don't.

1:09:15 Drew Men don't need plots, do they?

1:09:17 Adam We need a plot. We need something that. Couples. Here's what's, I'll tell you what's good.

1:09:24 Drew Couples need a plot because there's a woman.

1:09:26 Adam Yeah.

1:09:26 Drew If it's a gay couple, no more plot.

1:09:28 Adam No, but I'll tell you what is nice. And then Drew, Drew is a man of exquisite passion, extreme passion. As passionate as those folks are about the accordion, as it's true, true as about the ladies, okay? And Drew, Drew, now here's what I like, but you stop me. I don't need a whole plot like, oh, oh, her brother was kidnapped and now she has to have sex with him to get the information out of whatever. Here's all I need. But I do like this. I like a bikini. I like when the chick's like, you know, she's out by the pool and she's like sunning herself by the pool in the bikini for a couple of beads and the pool guy, you know, he's got the cutoffs and the sausage in his pants. And it's like, she said, I kind of like to see her in civilian clothes for a beat or two. Yeah, you with me? And also tell me if you're with them. Don't agree with me if you don't agree with me. I also don't like to see them in like a stripper get up. You know, I'd rather see them in sort of civvies. You know, I'd rather see bikinis nice, but just a regular dress or something.

1:10:29 Drew You want to recreate what was burned into your head when you were 14 years old, basically.

1:10:33 Adam That's right.

1:10:33 Christy Canyon Yeah, that's what was by me in high school. Right.

1:10:37 Adam Yeah, I like to see like I don't want to see the chick wearing the nine inch wedgies and have the thong back on. At the beginning, I'd like to see her dress like sort of normally.

1:10:47 Christy Canyon Maybe in like a red long sleeve shirt and a pair of gray sweat.

1:10:51 Adam That's right.

1:10:52 Christy Canyon You know, hair kind of tussled.

1:10:54 Adam Same thing. Christy's wearing a nice.

1:10:56 Christy Canyon Oh, God, look who I am.

1:10:58 Adam That's what I'm with. Some like accordion music, playing in the background. Yeah, that's time. And I'd be like, oh, I'd be like, I start sweet talking like, baby, you know, you want it, right? I mean, I can give it to you.

1:11:13 Drew So you got to start at the full man. I can give you every time at the pool.

1:11:16 Adam Yeah.

1:11:16 Caller Hey, baby, you're going to need a little more to die to make this earth in your filter.

1:11:21 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:11:23 Christy Canyon Will you clean out my filter?

1:11:27 Adam Clean it out.

1:11:28 Christy Canyon Oh, you clean it out.

1:11:31 Adam I'll use my skimmer on you. Is this music really sets the mood to done it makes you feel hot. All right. So I like a bikini. Bikini is nice. Yeah. So so that scene where they like meet by the pool and then they always adjourn into the house to hump like in six seconds. I'm fine with that. I just don't need the whole part where, you know, the guy's playing a private eye.

1:11:56 Drew She had no star. No, you know what? Different pictures.

1:12:00 Adam Right.

1:12:00 Christy Canyon Even really see them adjourn to the to the bedroom. If there's just a real fast cut.

1:12:04 Adam Yeah, here's here's the move. Here's the move they do. They do the move where they stand up and walk out of frame at the pool and then walk into frame at the bedroom. That's that move. You never see any in between.

1:12:15 Christy Canyon And you could tell it's on a sound stage the second time.

1:12:18 Adam Oh, yeah, they go from the pool to the weird lighting and the bad paneling. And when the guy closes the door, the whole wall shakes.

1:12:27 Christy Canyon And there's no glass in the window.

1:12:31 Adam Yeah. All right. On the same page. Should we talk to Mia over here? Yeah, she's a fair amount of those movies were just shot at people's houses, right?

1:12:40 Christy Canyon You know, in the mid 80s era, those were actually shot at beautiful houses like an Encino and gorgeous, huge houses in Sand Canyon. And then Vivid did a lot of shooting at sound stages.

1:12:53 Adam Right. Would you rather shoot at someone's house or in a sound stage?

1:12:57 Christy Canyon You know, it didn't really matter. Yeah, I didn't care.

1:13:00 Adam I saw this. I was looking through this porno magazine once. Once.

1:13:05 Christy Canyon Christy Canyon, Jugs 85.

1:13:07 Adam Could have been. And there was a candid picture of a guy named FM. Bradley. Remember FM.

1:13:13 Christy Canyon Bradley?

1:13:14 Adam Again, you know what I mean? I know more than Christy.

1:13:16 Christy Canyon You know, they were just a number to me. Next. Get in here.

1:13:19 Drew You're like a consultant.

1:13:22 Adam Bradley was well, first off, it's funny when you start learning the poor names later on, like, oh, yeah, Buffy Davis, Buffy Davis. And realize, oh, that's the chick from Family Affair. You remember Buffy?

1:13:34 Christy Canyon Yeah, I do. That one I remember.

1:13:36 Adam There you go. The point is, is it's weird. You'll hear about a poor name for a long time and then and then do the math on it later on. Bradley was Field Marshal Bradley from World War II. He was like the African Corps or something for England, right? But the point is, the dude was black and he had like 11 inch fonts. But anyway, FM. Bradley, there's a candid shot of him just standing by the drapes, sort of just sort of cleaning the end part of his dong like a pool keel. You're sort of looking over his shoulder, but the camera is on the other one. And it just said, why you shouldn't let him shoot a porn movie at your house. Like he just he just used the courage to mop off.

1:14:21 Christy Canyon I'd never let anyone, my God, come into my house to shoot them, because we would thrash places and not even meaning to. But sure, it goes you're on a couch doing a scene and your heel on a smash is a coffee table. Exactly.

1:14:35 Adam That's a good time. Sure. Those were the 80s.

1:14:37 Christy Canyon They were so fun.

1:14:39 Adam Mia. Hey, Field Marshal Bradley. Mia, you're 18. It's a big world war two buff. This guy. You're 18. What's up?

1:14:50 Caller I have two daughters and their dad's not around.

1:14:54 Adam And dad's not around.

1:14:55 Caller Yeah.

1:14:55 Adam You're 18.

1:14:56 Caller Yeah.

1:14:57 Adam Two daughters.

1:14:59 Drew Where did dad go?

1:15:01 Caller Huh?

1:15:02 Drew Where is dad?

1:15:03 Caller He just doesn't want to be around. I mean, we live in the same, like, city and everything, but he just doesn't want to be around.

1:15:10 Adam Michelle, look at FM. Bradley up on the end there.

1:15:14 Drew Field Marshal.

1:15:14 Adam If you get a bald... If you get a white guy that looks like David Nivens, that's the wrong guy. Yes?

1:15:22 Caller I was wondering if it was OK to, like, maybe make up a story about their dad because he's not around and now he's not going to be...

1:15:31 Adam For the kids...

1:15:31 Caller .a good guy either, so...

1:15:33 Adam For the kids.

1:15:34 Drew All right.

1:15:34 Adam All right, baby.

1:15:35 Drew It's an interesting question. A general principle, I don't think you should lie to your kids ever. However, I think people have done this throughout history, and kids do tend to idealize the parent that's not there.

1:15:46 Adam Well, here's the thing, too. There's this sort of thing, this adage, especially it took root in, like, the 70s, but it's kind of getting away from now, which is, you know, kids need to know the truth. You don't lie to anyone. You never lie to anyone. You never cover anything up. You're doing everyone a disservice by lying to them. Untrue, for adults and for kids. If someone gets a bad haircut, they don't need to know about it, and the kid's dad is raped mommy, and now I got twins, and he's split, he's cooking up meth in Riverside. They don't need to know that. They don't need to know any of those details. You focus me on finding another guy that might be good for the kids. There you go. Although you're 18.

1:16:29 Caller If they ask about him, what would I say?

1:16:31 Adam Well, how old are they now?

1:16:33 Caller They're two and a half now.

1:16:34 Adam Two and a half now.

1:16:36 Caller Oh, okay.

1:16:36 Drew She was 16 when she had that way.

1:16:38 Adam Hold on. What were they half a year ago?

1:16:41 Caller What?

1:16:42 Adam How old were they half a year ago?

1:16:44 Caller Two.

1:16:46 Adam Two and a half now, though.

1:16:47 Caller Yeah.

1:16:48 Adam Half a year from now?

1:16:49 It will be three.

1:16:51 Caller Three. Okay.

1:16:53 Adam This one, no. If you just say someone is two and a half, I'm like, when is that? 1965?

1:16:58 Drew All these numbers, and I suddenly want to make another prediction.

1:17:02 Adam Hold on. Mia, I say you crossed that bridge in a couple of years, but I don't think you want to go crazy where, you know, Dad, did you see the North Hollywood shootout, honey? Yeah, that was Daddy. He took a bullet for now. I don't get into that, but then don't get in the part where it was a one night stand or he was abusive or whatever it is. It's just Daddy, you know, kids are going to push.

1:17:25 Drew Why isn't here? Why does he leave?

1:17:27 Adam Yeah, except for in this day and age when most of the people they go to school with don't have a dad around and don't settle for just any guy to take that place. Got to be picky. Here's the thing, too. You should. I, you know, I just thought of this, but everybody like wants their kids to go to the best school and be around the best kids. And, you know, if your kids are from a wrong side of the tracks and broken family, you still would like them to go to the school with the families and academics and stuff. That's tough because you go there and it's like, what are you guys doing this weekend? Oh, we're going out on the yacht. My dad, mom. Yeah, they're renewing their 10-year marriage vows. My dad took her to the chalet in Switzerland. It was beautiful. We got 700 acres up there in the yacht. And it breaks your heart. You're like, what are you doing? I'm just going to play in a shopping cart that's got a busted wheel. Someone left it on our lawn of the apartment. You know what I mean? You want to go with other kids that are kind of like yours. These kids want to be around other kids. You know your dad? No. You know yours? No. What's your dad do? He drinks Sterno. What about your dad? He's in the joint. Fantastic. You feel better. You know what I'm saying? Oh, your dad's in jail?

1:18:41 Caller Ha ha!

1:18:43 Adam I never knew my dad, but at least he's not in the joint. See what I'm saying?

1:18:46 Drew You're right.

1:18:47 Adam You don't want that big disparity between you and them.

1:18:50 Drew Don't want to have any shame.

1:18:52 Adam You'll be shamed. And if it's just a bunch, you go to a crappy school, everyone's divorced. You're fine. Unless your heart's in the right place, it'll work out.

1:18:59 Christy Canyon We went to a crappy school and we turned out good.

1:19:01 Drew Yeah, look at us. I'm just thinking about how North Hollywood You guys have porn on the radio.

1:19:36 Adam I feel like there's pretty much just warehousing going on over there, right? Did you learn anything?

1:19:42 Drew No.

1:19:43 Christy Canyon I was the worst student, but I didn't apply myself. I just went for fun. I had a lot of friends and I liked PE. I liked English, but I don't know much about history. I cheated my way through all math, algebra.

1:19:56 Adam Algebra? I didn't even take algebra.

1:19:58 Drew Clairvoyant with the accordion. I'll tell you, as a gift.

1:20:02 Christy Canyon You can't teach that though. It's that gut smart I got, boys. Yeah, that good street smart.

1:20:07 Adam Let's put it to the test one more time.

1:20:08 Drew Three seconds.

1:20:09 Adam Hold on, hold on. Let engineer Michelle cue up with the Ace's accordion countdown here. We haven't heard the songs before. We just decided how long before. Now, Drew went with immediate. Nailed it. You're going with three seconds this time. This is kind of a rubber match between you two because Christy won the first, I think was about two and a half seconds. And Drew won the second with immediate.

1:20:34 Christy Canyon I'm going to go five seconds.

1:20:36 Adam Okay, Drew's three, Christy's five.

1:20:39 Drew If you just go two, you get anything on the third.

1:20:42 Adam You know, a lot of guys play that game. I'm going six. I'm going over. I'm going over. I'm going for the over. Alright, let me let the clock at 55 here. You ready, Michelle? And go. Oh, wait, no. No. I win, no, wait. It's got to come in.

1:21:19 Drew Well, you notice that when they put strings in, it replaces the accordion?

1:21:27 Adam No, we all lost. I like that.

1:21:30 Drew Same bet, next song.

1:21:31 Adam Yeah. All right. All right. You queued up there. Hold on a second. We got to wait till the clock. I got to build a time in here. You ready, Michelle? And go. It was three seconds. Three seconds. Drew, you were three?

1:21:51 Caller You know what's wrong with this gang, guys?

1:21:52 Drew Is either the accordion's constant or it's not at all. See?

1:21:55 Adam Well, how dare you? It was a whole.

1:21:58 Drew Three seconds. Four. It was only three seconds. And the song before it was, in fact, immediate and constant.

1:22:03 Adam Oh, what a shock. Shocking. We're going to take a little break. Christy Canyon here. Drew, sorry. No, I mean, sorry, Christy. Sorry. And Drew. I won. He's the accordion and countdown champion tonight. Next time we come in. We got parting gifts.

1:22:21 Christy Canyon I won the first game. So.

1:22:24 Adam Drew studied. What was best? Best two out of three.

1:22:27 Christy Canyon Drew's smarter. He had more schooling than me.

1:22:30 Drew Those long winters.

1:22:32 Adam Long, long nights. That's right. You thought you heard this in Mexico, not New England. Hey, I'm sure they're celebrating up in New England now at the Sox victory.

1:22:45 Drew Oh, yeah. Of course this one plays.

1:22:49 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this. Guess how many terrific sense acts the odorant body spray comes in? No, it's more. No, more. Nine. No, seven. Hey, buddy, it's Loveline, Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, I forget about it. Marsha Thompson in here. Oh, wait a minute. No, no, no. Thomas, sorry. Chris's head was in the way. Marsha Thompson in here from NBC's Las Vegas tomorrow night. Christy Canyon in here tonight. Adult film legend. Christy Canyon. Yeah. She is gonna be over at the erotic, exotic ball over at the Cow Palace in beautiful San Francisco. That is this Saturday. And this is big.

1:24:04 Christy Canyon For directions, I could always get it off my website too, which is christycannon.com.

1:24:09 Adam The performance is by Everclear and two live crew.

1:24:14 Christy Canyon I didn't even know that. That's very cool.

1:24:18 Adam Yeah. Stymie and the Pimp are gonna be playing there.

1:24:21 Christy Canyon My favorite.

1:24:22 Adam Yeah, they play that accordion countdown.

1:24:25 Christy Canyon They do.

1:24:26 Adam It's huge. Huge in the community.

1:24:28 Christy Canyon Everclear, that's very cool.

1:24:29 Adam Yeah, Everclear's great. That's gonna be a good time. Go over there, buy yourself a ticket. Get the gang ball.

1:24:35 Christy Canyon Oh, yeah, I'll get you on the list.

1:24:37 Adam Please. I've never been to the Cow Palace. It's huge, isn't it?

1:24:41 Christy Canyon I've never been either.

1:24:43 Adam It's a horrible name for a venue.

1:24:45 Drew But it was cool in the 60s, eh?

1:24:48 Adam No, but I think the Cow Palace holds like 10,000 people or something.

1:24:52 Christy Canyon It's going to be packed. It's a huge event, this Exotic Erotic Ball. I love San Francisco. Oh, my God. It's so much fun up there.

1:25:01 Adam Gorgeous. April? Yeah, I do, too. I get to go out there.

1:25:05 Christy Canyon Great shopping. If I'm not at the Exotic Erotic Ball, everyone, meet me at Neiman Marcus. I'll sign my book over there.

1:25:12 Adam True. Remember we were in Frisco about a year ago? It's beautiful, isn't it?

1:25:17 Drew Oh.

1:25:18 Adam April? Yeah.

1:25:22 Drew How dare you?

1:25:23 Adam You're going to see a guy in San Francisco? You're 28.

1:25:29 Caller We've been together since we was 18 and 19 years old.

1:25:31 Adam Hold on a second. Are you depressed? All right, baby doll. Let's go there. Let's break it down. So, you've been with your boyfriend for 10 years.

1:25:42 Caller We're married now.

1:25:43 Adam Oh, okay.

1:25:45 Caller We lived together for about 3 years. Mm-hmm. And then we got married. Relationship. Mm-hmm. But when I was younger, you know, when we first got together, I had no problem, you know. We experiment and, you know, we work with each other. I'm sorry?

1:26:37 Drew That's something you've never done before?

1:26:38 Caller No, I've done it before. It's when, you know, when we first started seeing each other and when we lived together and everything, I used to do it, but for some reason, I can't do it now. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

1:26:51 Drew Oh, that reason did.

1:26:53 Adam He wants you to swallow, all right. Oh, see, I'm confused. I'm sorry, but when she said experiment, I thought, you know, I thought she meant like clinical stuff.

1:27:02 Caller No.

1:27:03 Adam I didn't know you mean sexually stuff, but...

1:27:05 Drew Yeah, back to the...

1:27:06 Adam I was picturing like graduated cylinders, beakers and things like that.

1:27:10 Drew And the ranchero music and the new...

1:27:11 Adam Right, right. So, you mean sexual experimentation? I see. And so, he wants you to swallow. Now, let me just get something straight, and I don't want to find a point on it, but does he need you to swallow as in ingest, or does he need you just to sort of keep it in your mouth until he's done and then you can spit it into a potted fern?

1:27:37 Caller He said, either way, I want to do it, but every time I try, I kind of gag.

1:27:43 Adam Right, but it seems like a taller order to swallow. Like, here's what I'm saying. Here's what I mean. I could take a chug of bad milk from the refrigerator and make it to the sink. I wouldn't just spit it all over the...

1:27:55 Drew Carried your mouth to the sink, yeah.

1:27:57 Adam I could transport it to the sink. I think I could do it. If I really love the refrigerator... And the milk. And the milk, I could take... I didn't go to the refrigerator. I take a nice swig of it, and I go, and I just walk it over, sing it and blah. Yeah, that I could do. But if you ask me to swallow it, I don't think I would do it. You see what I'm saying?

1:28:16 Christy Canyon I can't stand that. I don't like to swallow, I don't like the taste.

1:28:34 Adam I could, but...

1:28:35 Christy Canyon You?

1:28:35 Drew Come on.

1:28:36 Adam Christy has an amazing rack. And when you have a beautiful rack in the porn industry, they don't ask you to put stuff in your mouth.

1:28:44 Christy Canyon Oh, it was a given.

1:28:45 Adam Let's do the rack. Do the rack.

1:28:47 Christy Canyon When they gave their three-second warning, I just automatically just...

1:28:51 Adam Put some frosting on that cake. You know what I'm saying? All right. Nice.

1:28:56 Drew Thank you, Adam, by the way, for not being crude. Well done.

1:28:59 Adam Yep.

1:29:01 Drew I say. I say.

1:29:02 Adam This is why I'm sure I'm going to get the CVS game, your guess first night. And then we play the Mexican Accordion Countdown, it's going to be huge, huge.

1:29:11 Drew We're going to play one more time for the night.

1:29:12 Adam All right. April. So you can't even keep it in your mouth and go spit it in the sink.

1:29:19 Caller It just kind of...

1:29:22 Adam Yeah.

1:29:22 Drew You know what?

1:29:23 Adam That's it.

1:29:24 Drew Deal breaker. Maybe.

1:29:25 Adam That's it.

1:29:25 Drew Don't do it.

1:29:26 Adam You got to tell him. It makes you sick.

1:29:27 Drew He'll be all right.

1:29:28 Caller Well, no, that's the problem. When we were first seeing each other, I never really had a problem doing it.

1:29:34 Drew I know, but now you do. And if he doesn't believe you, that's his problem.

1:29:37 Adam You told us that five minutes ago, by the way.

1:29:39 Caller He thinks I just don't want to do it, which in a way I don't.

1:29:42 Drew Well, you don't want to do it because it makes you sick. Whatever your reason is, you really don't.

1:29:46 Adam Here's the thing. You don't want to do it because I don't think anything's metabolically changing you in the last five years that you can't actually be a, you know, receptacle for a few seconds. And so you're saying both things. One is, is, well, I used to do it. Well, I could do it, but I don't want to do it, but I can't do it.

1:30:10 Christy Canyon Right.

1:30:10 Adam You know, and he's hearing that and obviously he thinks and then he starts pressuring you and then you get angry at him and then you don't want to do it. And it's this vicious cycle.

1:30:19 Christy Canyon Wait, but I have a question. How come you used to like to and now you don't just out of curiosity, because I never liked it. But why didn't it taste funny?

1:30:29 Adam By the way, the world's dumbest. How come you used to be able to do it, but you can't do it now? It tastes funny. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, so the taste has changed. I see. See, now it used to just be like like marshmallows.

1:30:45 Caller Marshmallows. It was like a s'more.

1:30:48 Adam Someone just popped a s'more in your mouth and now it's like someone took a like a sock and vinegar and just slapped you in the face with it.

1:30:55 Christy Canyon Did he change his diet?

1:30:56 Caller What?

1:30:57 Adam I know it tastes funny, but he changed.

1:31:00 Caller He drinks.

1:31:02 Adam Oh, no. He's angry. You're angry at him.

1:31:05 Caller He don't drink that much, but I'm just wondering if maybe.

1:31:08 Adam Where's my bourbon? He drinks.

1:31:10 Drew But not enough.

1:31:11 Adam Oh, so you're mad. No, he doesn't drink. He doesn't drink much. What the hell's going on with you? All right, then just do it, would you? Or tell us you're angry at him and tell him you're angry at him and you don't want to do it anymore. Are you angry at him? You're very much in love.

1:31:32 Caller We're happy.

1:31:34 Adam And I'm going to ask you again. I'm going to reiterate Christy's question, which is why can't you do it anymore?

1:31:40 Caller It's just when I first started doing it, I never had a problem that it didn't taste bad or anything like that. I would actually swallow it.

1:31:49 Drew So his taste has changed.

1:31:51 Caller Yeah.

1:31:51 Drew Is he on medication?

1:31:53 Caller No, it's like we haven't really changed our diets or anything. It's just I don't know if it has something to do with his drinking or anything like that.

1:32:01 Adam Well, he doesn't drink much.

1:32:02 Drew He doesn't drink much. You made that clear.

1:32:04 Caller He drinks beer, but that's all he drinks.

1:32:07 Drew He smokes a lot of cigarettes and tobacco?

1:32:09 Adam We both smoke.

1:32:11 Drew Shocking.

1:32:12 Adam I figured her for a dipper. You gave that up.

1:32:16 Drew 30 seconds for Ron Jeremy's.

1:32:17 Adam All right. Listen, April, I don't think his taste changed that much, okay? His diet didn't change. It's not like he's on Atkins now. Nothing changed. You're just not as into him as you were before. Thus, it tastes bad.

1:32:31 Drew It bothers you more now.

1:32:32 Adam And then there's part of you that's so defensive every time we try to ask you, is there a situation, there's an emotional component to this?

1:32:38 Drew Good.

1:32:38 Adam Fine. There's not. You're very much in love. Just take a seed and spit it in the toilet. Liar.

1:32:45 Drew Here we go. Immediate.

1:32:49 Christy Canyon Oh, we're doing this again.

1:32:51 Adam We're doing the countdown.

1:32:53 Christy Canyon Take the seed.

1:32:55 Adam Three.

1:32:55 Drew Three seconds.

1:32:56 Adam Three seconds.

1:32:57 Drew Go.

1:32:57 Adam Seven seconds.

1:32:58 Drew And action. You got it.

1:33:19 Adam Don't F with the Ace man when it comes to his recording. Here comes. Listen, I know. I know the rhythm.

1:33:27 Drew All right.

1:33:29 Adam Right on top. All right.

1:33:31 Drew I just wanted to go out.

1:33:32 Adam Now, what was that? Was that about 12 seconds or something? Strong, strong. All right, we'll take a break. We'll be right back.

1:33:40 Caller Here's the deal. You're looking to hook up? Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:33:44 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:33:46 Caller Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

1:33:49 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:51 Caller 1-800-CALL-LOVE-LINE.

1:34:02 Adam Well, that's it. I want to thank Christy Canyon for coming in here tonight. Just talking about our grade school teachers, 56th grade school teachers. Yep, I'm sure they're all on the ground. All right. That heavy note. And, and yeah, see, little did they know what we'd be up to. Little did they know.

1:34:23 Christy Canyon And remembering them.

1:34:24 Drew Yeah. Training that North Hollywood College, that culture down upon the country.

1:34:29 Adam Oh, Mr. Corral, be quiet. Stop talking. Your boss will go, yeah, kiss my ass.

1:34:35 Christy Canyon And mine was always, Christy, come sit up by me today, sit by your teacher.

1:34:42 Adam Creepy.

1:34:43 Christy Canyon But it was the 70s and 80s.

1:34:45 Adam It was a different time. Sure, pedophilia was all the rage. All right. Go down to the erotic, exotic ball of the Cow Pals, San Francisco, San Francisco, Saturday, see our good friend Christy Canyon out there and listen to our good friends Everclear play. So, until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew Sang, mahalo. John, John from System of a Down. This is Adam. Come on, buddy. What's going on? Hey, buddy, if I said anything, you know, to offend you or anything.

1:35:13 Caller No, no, cannot.

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Wednesday, October 20, 2004