Episode 1000652907719

5:37 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

6:00 Voiceover Hey everybody, it's Loveline. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician. Addiction medicine specialist.

6:38 Drew This song always give me the chills. Oh, yeah.

6:40 Drew Let's get it on.

6:41 Adam I seem to notice what other people do or don't do, and then I get angry. Like, I don't like it when a guy doesn't clap.

6:42 Adam No, like, you know, once in a while. Once in a while, being in an audience, and the magician does his trick, or the guy bows, or the song's over, or whatever, and everyone's, there'll be a guy sitting in the middle that's not clapping, and he'll immediately distract me.

6:45 Drew Do you mind if the guy does at least this? I like him to acknowledge and do something.

6:46 Adam Yeah, if you're holding a beer or a pretzel or something. Just hit your leg or something. Yeah, I'll whack myself in the face.

6:48 Drew But it's the complete abstention that bothers you.

6:50 Adam It bothers me. It's like, what are you doing?

6:53 Drew Maybe they're making a point. Maybe they're trying to defy.

6:57 Adam Once in a while, it happens at the writer's table over at Kimmel. Someone will do a song parody or something. Someone will do something real funny. It'll be like everyone will start clapping. There should be one guy just sitting there, just sort of looking at everyone. And it's like, to me...

7:10 Drew They're making a protest.

7:12 Adam No, no, they're just...

7:13 Drew They're being an a-hole?

7:14 Adam No, people are just sort of out of it. You know, it's not, I'm not clapping for me, so why should I clap kind of thing? And I'm not going to get fired or anything. It's just, you know, and they don't know that it's noted sort of thing. And maybe it's not, it's only me, but when I see someone that's not clapping and amongst a group of people that are clapping, I always get angry and like put off.

7:35 Drew That's a great paradigm. I don't want to go too far off on this topic, but that's a great model for how your brain works. Whenever there's anything out of the ordinary, anything that's novel in a situation or a room, you go insane. And that's your amygdala. The amygdala notices difference, novelty, background noise, chirping, smoke detectors, that sort of thing.

7:56 Adam It's not clapping for me. That's the whole thing.

7:59 Drew I know, but it's just that it's different.

8:00 Adam And if it was me, it wouldn't even bother me.

8:03 Drew I know. It's like me screwing around with stuff here on the table. If I just tap my hand or move my fingers around, you go nuts.

8:09 Adam Yeah. Well, that's noise that is picked up by the microphones, and it's unnecessary. It's one thing when you, you know, rape the mic with your coffee mug.

8:17 Drew Listen, when I do this, I do stuff like this. It doesn't make any noise.

8:21 Adam No, please, that's how I can tell you're doing it. No, you do, you like to do stuff like this.

8:25 Drew No, no, I understand that, I understand that.

8:28 Adam Yeah, yeah, you do that, you tap your ring, you do, you have, like, nervous tics. That, no, you can fiddle, you can doodle, I don't say anything, but when you start making noise, I can hear it.

8:41 Drew It's good to know.

8:42 Adam It's unnecessary, is what I'm saying. Good to know.

8:46 Drew No, it's good to know. I didn't know there was a differentiation for you.

8:49 Adam Yeah, no, you you fiddle around sometimes.

8:52 Drew And it makes noise. I get that.

8:53 Adam It doesn't make noise. And other times you out and out tap like you just take your ring finger and you tap. But here's the good news. I just I got I got gas tonight. And it's big. It's a big night for.

9:24 Drew Me.

9:29 Caller It's been so long.

9:30 Drew Yeah.

9:39 Adam Oh, man, I ate chili last night and chili tonight and just been tooting all night.

9:45 Drew Well, you found the combo. You unlocked the secret.

9:48 Adam One would think one would think.

9:50 Drew Oh, my God.

9:51 Adam Ebola ice cream. I had ice cream and chili.

9:52 Drew I've got to talk to your wife. She made that chili. What did she put in it?

9:55 Adam I don't know. I don't know, but I'm going to guard the recipe now.

9:58 Drew But it's very sweet.

9:59 Adam Thank you. That could be the strawberry ice cream.

10:03 Drew No, no, no. Not that kind of sweet.

10:05 Adam Novel gas.

10:06 Caller Oh, my God. Novel.

10:07 Adam So look out. Oh, my God. Hey, and let me tell you something. That fart announced to the world that Adam Carolla is back because it's been months. I've had nothing. It's been like warm air escaping.

10:19 Drew Like 18 months.

10:20 Adam Just warm air.

10:21 Drew You know, it's been since we were in the old studio because I remember worrying about the cloth wall we had there, absorbing some of that and never letting go.

10:28 Adam You know, it's been coming out of me for about the last year and a half just to stuff. The stuff that exits the canister vacuum, you know what I mean? Just that warm air. Remember when you were a kid that just, just a little warm air. That's what's been coming out of me for a year and a half. Now I got something attached to it and I'm sending a message.

10:50 Drew Are you kidding? It is still ratcheted in here.

10:54 Adam Yeah.

10:56 Drew And this, we don't have the mics on the wires so I can leave the room like we used to.

11:01 Adam You're a doctor. You'll hang tight. Oh. You man your battle stations and you stay there. Let me tell you what tonight's going to be like for you, Drew.

11:10 Drew It's like I'm like on German in one of those pillboxes at Normandy Beach.

11:14 Adam Yeah. I prefer to think of you as on the deck of one of the, of like the-

11:20 Drew Pearl Harbor.

11:21 Adam Of the Arizona Pearl Harbor. And you're Cuba Gooding Jr.'s character and you're the cook but you've manned a 50 caliber machine gun and the Japs are strafing you and you just, you won't leave your post. Ships on fire. You can't go. You understand?

11:36 Drew I'd rather be there.

11:37 Adam You sworn in on it.

11:37 Drew I'd rather be there.

11:38 Adam All right.

11:38 All right.

11:40 Adam We'll see. Jessica?

11:43 Guest Yeah.

11:43 Adam Oh, you're 20. Yeah, you're calling from last night. Hi baby doll. Jessica was on hold for 131 minutes or something last night.

11:53 Guest I enjoyed to think of you guys anyway.

11:54 Adam You got a great attitude baby doll. Oh, thank God you're not in studio tonight. Although she is in Northridge. If the wind changed, she could catch some of that.

12:01 Drew Oh, it wouldn't take much of a change in the wind. This is hurt. This is painful here right now.

12:06 Adam Yeah, it's a hanger too because I was doing some like work in the office and a wife came up like 20 minutes later, I was like, what the hell's going on in? I like when you have to play coy. What? What do you mean? I don't know. Oh, oh, you mean because I've been farting for the last hour in here? I see. Yeah. Oh, that's that. Oh, I like when you have to play like you don't know what I'm talking about. No, I don't. I don't smell. What do you like? Like what? Is it like you mean like a gas line broke or something? Is something burned in the kitchen? What? Oh, yeah. I've been farting.

12:40 Drew Did you unload it in?

12:41 Adam No, no, no.

12:42 Drew It's like a second wave.

12:44 Adam Thank you. Thank you. Jessica?

12:48 Guest Yeah.

12:49 Adam You're 20? Yeah. What's up?

12:55 Guest I've been listening to you guys for a really long time. Dr. Drew, you're the best. I grew up listening to you and I learned so much from you and Adam, you're hilarious. Okay. Anyway, I just got in a relationship like a year and a half ago with my ex-boyfriend that I was with for two years and he was like my serious boyfriend that I've ever had and now I can't get myself to get over him.

13:21 Drew How long ago did you break up? How long ago did you break up?

13:25 Guest Like around a year and a half ago.

13:27 Drew Oh boy. And you were with him for two years?

13:31 Guest Yeah.

13:32 Adam Yeah, that's a long time. I mean, not to be able to bounce back.

13:35 Drew Right.

13:36 Adam A year and a half and 20 year old years is an eternity.

13:40 Drew That suggests something's going on. Have you been depressed?

13:44 Guest Well, I mean, ever since we broke up, I've been kind of depressed. Like I can't let him go and like.

13:51 Drew Does he keep coming back and sort of having, you know, going out with you or sleeping with you?

13:55 Guest Well, we've, no, we stopped like, we slept together like twice, but right after we broke up, but that's it.

14:02 Adam That was it.

14:02 Guest And this was like last year. And then we still like talk sometimes like on like on the internet or whatever, or like we'll see each other at like gatherings and stuff and we'll talk and what's up.

14:17 Drew All right. No, you need to cut off all contact. That is, that is your only move is to have no contact with this guy. That is the only way. And then I think I really do believe you ought to seek some help with this because if it goes more than six months and you're starting to have trouble functioning, you're getting depressed, you can't have, go on and have other relationships. That's not about this relationship. That's about something in your mental health.

14:39 Adam You're depressed. Here's the thing. So you say. But what ends up happening is life isn't going as good as it could go. All your sort of emotional eggs get put in his basket and they become this panacea that's going to fix everything.

14:58 Drew That's some of what a guy thinks in a way, you know what I mean? It's a little different way.

15:01 Adam It's kind of all cathartic.

15:02 Drew Yeah, a little bit with women is a little different. And they really are get so profoundly attached that they don't know how to unattach.

15:08 Adam She needs to fall for somebody. I mean, here's the thing. You can talk all you want about getting some therapy and working out some feelings and get in touch with some things. Find some guy that really flips your cookie and it's over the next week.

15:23 Drew The problem is though that could be just a reach for a life preserver and who knows what the guy is and she may do the same thing all over again with this guy.

15:30 Adam Don't find an abusive alcoholic who is going to beat you with his belt before he sodomizes you. Have him beat you with his belt after the sodomy, then he beats you with the belt. That's the guy I'm looking for. Jessica, you sound attractive.

15:46 Guest I am. I'm confident. I'm not like...

15:49 Adam You're confident, you're attractive. How about just giving another guy a chance?

15:54 Guest I've gone out with a lot of guys and they're wonderful guys. They treat me really good and they take me to lots of places and they're smart, but it's not the same.

16:07 Adam It's not the same because this guy dumped you.

16:09 Drew Also, this was her first boyfriend, her first love and stuff. Everyone has trouble getting over that one.

16:16 Adam If you walk around with your mantra of, it's not the same, it's not the same...

16:20 Drew It's never going to get over. No one will ever compare to this.

16:23 Adam You're going on a date, the guy's good looking, he's got a job, everything's good, and it's like, it's not the same, it's not the same, it's not... Of course, it'll never work then.

16:30 Drew Here's the deal, Jessica, everybody feels that way, but then they go out with somebody else, they have another relationship, they develop feelings with that person, they look back at their first one and go, oh my God, what was I thinking?

16:40 Adam Right. And they masturbate to them.

16:42 Drew Occasionally. But most of the time, they're thinking, what the hell was I thinking? And then they do that again with the next relationship and the next one, and then they find somebody they really like.

16:49 Adam Well guys go back and look at the girls they dated and they're like, oh man, if just one more crack at her, should have nailed her one more time. And women are like physically repulsed, oh, oh, I can't believe I was with him, I think soiled. I know, I've been there. Women who've gone out with me in the past.

17:06 Drew Maybe they don't.

17:06 Adam You know what I do after that?

17:08 Drew Maybe they don't react that way to all former players.

17:11 Adam It's quite possible. You know that?

17:12 Drew By the way, if you gave them a taste of what I've had this evening, no wonder. No, no, no wonder.

17:17 Adam Sweet ass nectar.

17:20 Drew Yeah.

17:21 Adam Yeah. So, you know what they do, Drew? You know that move I do when I'm urinating and you walk out of the stall, like a boom?

17:27 Drew Yes.

17:27 Adam That's what they do when they think about me, the ex-girlfriend.

17:30 Drew If you seriously, if you gave them a little taste of what you call your ass nectar. You did it again.

17:39 Adam Ass nectar.

17:39 Drew You did it.

17:39 Adam No, no. I did not. Listen, you'll know when I fart. It will be coming out of your nose, eyes and ears. And number one, number two, I'll be laughing like a mania. Chris, it's going to be a tough, tough night for you.

17:55 Drew I've heard about a huge sweatshirt.

17:57 Adam Yeah. You're really, you're really going to. Barrier. You're really going to earn your, your medal tonight.

18:05 Drew Chris is ready.

18:05 Adam Jordan. 13. Oh, you called last night too.

18:11 Drew Yep.

18:13 Adam Hold for millionaires. So we're talking to you first tonight. You're a virgin. You want to know if sex with a 16-year-old boyfriend will hurt.

18:27 Drew Yeah, big or not big, 13-year-old, not a good idea to have sex. Really, really bad idea.

18:32 Adam And by the way, how bad a shape are you as a guy when a 13-year-old goes, medium to small? You know, I've never seen one before, but I'm guessing they're bigger than that.

18:40 Drew Jordan, you will live to regret this. Not only have I never met a woman who had sex under the age of 15 who felt good about it. I've never met that woman. Maybe even if you feel good in the moment, later look at it as a mistake. And secondly, the facts are that our brains aren't developed to manage all that goes along with that kind of relationship. So you're about 16. So please don't do it. Horrible idea. I don't care whether it's King Kong or Tiny Tim.

19:06 Adam Second a lesson. Jordan, what grade are you in? Eighth grade.

19:11 Drew Horrible idea.

19:12 Adam And what grade is he in?

19:14 Drew Eleventh.

19:16 Adam Oof. So he's even a notch older than often. I mean, it makes sense he's in eleventh, but he could be in tenth. Huge difference between eighth and eleventh.

19:28 Drew Huge. You will regret this like my god.

19:32 Adam Like my god. Hey, George.

19:34 Drew Like I regret being in this room with Adam tonight.

19:38 Adam I would press, but I'm scared of my soil. But hey, Jordan, where's your dad? Is he out of the scene? Hold on a second. I got to talk to Drew. He's in the living room right next to me.

19:57 Drew I don't think she means like physically in the next room, the room next to me, the living room next to me, not she's next. He's next to me.

20:04 Adam He's in the living room.

20:05 Drew Let's ask.

20:06 Adam She says right next to me.

20:08 Drew Let's see.

20:09 Adam Jordan? When you say right next to you. Right.

20:16 Drew And he's OK with this conversation? By the way.

20:25 Adam This will show him.

20:26 Drew Yeah. By the way, that would not qualify as great parenting. You said dad's a great guy, great guy. 10 feet away, his 13-year-old daughter is talking about having sex with a 16-year-old and he can't even get his ass out of his head sufficiently to hear.

20:37 Adam She doesn't know what she's doing? Now.

20:45 Drew We thought you said your relationship with your dad was perfect.

20:49 Adam You know, it's really, you know, our listeners are so dumb. I shouldn't say our listeners, I should say our callers.

20:55 Drew Yeah, the callers.

20:56 Adam And our listeners. There'd be like, oh really, and it'd be like if someone was walking with a limp, yeah, you have any trouble with your leg? No, it's great.

21:05 Drew Leg, what are you talking about?

21:07 Adam No, yeah, your leg, is it any problem? No, no, no, no. No, really, no. Is there no problem with the joint or the knee or anything? No, not at all. And then later on you found out it was a prosthetic leg.

21:16 Drew Yes.

21:16 Adam That was fine. It's like, yeah, but your leg was bitten off by Gator in 1981.

21:23 Drew Yeah, well you didn't ask me about that.

21:24 Adam Yeah, no, the one I got on now is fine. Yeah. That's what we do with this show with the step dads. Like, where's your dad? He's right here. You really still married your mom? Mm-hmm. You love him? Oh, he's great. Oh, it turns out, step dad, where's your real dad?

21:37 Drew I mean, step dad number three.

21:38 Adam That's the question. Jordan, where's your real dad? And step dad's been around since you were how old? Six.

21:49 Drew Did he do something to you abusive? Oh, only when you were little, was he abusive? That's nice.

21:57 Adam Well, when was he abusive?

21:59 Guest When I was around eight, he used to beat me.

22:01 Drew Oh, that's nice.

22:03 Adam Well, you know, some kids are asking for it. All right, baby doll, there's issues here. And here's the thing. Jordan, I'm not only twice as, three times as old as you, I'm 10 times as smart. So please listen to me. And I know you'll choose not to listen to me. And that's just part of what makes you young and stupid. So do whatever you want. But for the record, you can think back on this conversation years from now and you can say, ah, he was right. All right? And I won't think back on it because I won't remember it. But here's the thing. You're a real dad, a man in the family. Stepdad was abusive. You have issues. You have issues with men. You're at a crossroads right now. You're in the eighth grade. You could take that turn. You could take that turn where you just worry about being seductive toward men and how they feel about you and start using your sexuality and your power and using it as a weapon and all that kind of stuff. And it'll make you feel good for a few years. You end up getting used up. You end up getting spent up. You end up, your self-esteem gets lower and lower. And maybe you get a venereal disease, maybe you get pregnant, maybe worse, who knows? We're telling you not to do it. There's a part of you that called the show, a part of you that realizes that maybe this is wrong. I'm telling you, you're at a crossroads. Once you go right and you go down the Hershey Highway.

23:23 Drew It's a missile that's fired up in the Pacific.

23:26 Adam It's a cliff, it's a free fall. You'll just keep going. You'll just keep going, that's it. You'll sleep with this guy, you'll sleep with his buddy. Eight months later, and then it just gets easier. And then you spin out and your self-esteem goes down and you start getting into drugs. And next thing you know, you're on Maury Povich.

23:40 Drew Mm-hmm.

23:41 Adam Mm-hmm. All right, you ready?

23:45 Drew The Hershey Highway ends in Maury Povich's, huh?

23:49 Adam That's where the Hershey Highway goes, right.

23:50 Drew Nice, that's nice.

23:51 Adam That's right. And then there's Exposition, which is now Martin Luther King Boulevard, and that goes to college.

24:01 Drew Yeah.

24:01 Adam That's 21, or Cesar Chavez. See, around here, what we do is we rename streets for like civil rights leaders that have already been named so everyone can get confused.

24:12 Drew Yeah.

24:13 Adam There's no, and by the way-

24:15 Drew You know, it's by the way in New York, I've noticed they've started putting, in Manhattan, putting names on the east-west streets.

24:21 Adam The avenues?

24:22 Drew Right. No, the streets.

24:24 Adam Oh, right, right.

24:25 Drew So this is the avenue of whatever it's called.

24:28 Adam Look, look, here's the thing, everybody. I got a couple of thoughts on this. One is, is once you have a major street and it's been that way for 100 years, that's it. There ain't, look, great people die. Go find another goddamn street for them. That's all. They gotta go to Simi Valley or some place that's being built. Maybe not a great place for Martin Luther King. But you know what I'm saying?

24:54 Drew Yes.

24:54 Adam You can't, it gets too confusing when you start doing that. And the same goes for airports and ballparks and stuff like that. Around here, we don't have numbers, we don't have avenues, we don't have anything.

25:06 Drew There's no grid.

25:07 Adam All we have is streets, and then we confound people even more by having the same street, but it's Circle, Lane, and Vista. And it's like, where are you on? I'm on Valley Vista, or Valley Terrace, or Valley Circle, or Valley, are you serious? Could it be more confusing?

25:27 Drew And by the way, every street that is not named after a geological or geographic sort of highlight is named after a Spanish version, a Mexican name, or Juanepo Rosero, or the guy's...

25:42 Adam Oh, it's Los Feliz, and you take that over to Sepulveda, and then that takes you through Santa Monica. How are we supposed to ask these people not to come over here when every goddamn thing in this place is a Spanish surname? Is it really? Could you imagine? Imagine somebody telling you, yeah, don't come over, we shouldn't go to Mexico when a Bob Hope Drive runs right down the middle of it, and then Honky Berg is right over there, and then you can go, oh, oh, yeah, you wanna go to the Klan Stadium?

26:13 Drew And every street is Washington, Lincoln.

26:14 Adam Yeah, of course, I'm going home. Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, no, no, they shouldn't come to Chula Vista.

26:22 Drew What?

26:24 Adam San Diego? No, no, no, San Diego. Yeah, Tempe or Tucson or whatever. It's all, every street here's got a name, and then everyone just screws it up. Los Feliz, Los Feliz, Sepulveda, Sepulveda, no one can, it's really rubbing it in the faces of our Mexican brothers.

26:44 Drew You know, it's a little bit like what we did this country with the North American Indians, because you go to the, sort of the Middle Atlantic and the Midwest, a lot of North American Indian names.

26:53 Adam Yeah, no, we do this with the Indians, it's more like, we're just going to infect and wipe out your people, but we'll name our SUVs after. Rivers and SUVs, pow, that's yours. Oh, and college football teams.

27:05 Drew Rappahannock and the, what the hell, the.

27:06 Adam Yo, they're all, every, every, every river.

27:10 Drew One of the ones in Pittsburgh, they're crazy names.

27:13 Adam The, oh, they got.

27:14 Drew They got the Allegheny, Decayne and the. Well, three rivers. Yeah, Manga Hala, Manga Hala.

27:22 Adam By the way, can we come up with stuff we can pronounce too? Jesus Christ. All right, we got the Cherokee and the Mustang and the Pinto. Is the Pinto ours or is that theirs? All right, we got to take a break. We're gonna come back, we're gonna speak to David. Can't get it up. Boyfriend, a blood clots in his legs.

27:43 Caller All right, oh, that's all good.

27:44 Adam And some weather.

27:45 Drew Oh yeah, but nice.

27:46 Adam The weather coming up.

27:47 Drew It's beautiful.

27:48 Adam All that after this. Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. No, no, no, I got nothing. I'm just, oops, I snuck my coffee arm. I know, I'm just laughing because we're coming up with cities. Yeah, yeah, okay. All right, because I got weather to get out.

28:27 Drew How many people do you think across the country could recognize any of the cities you're about to mention as in Los Angeles?

28:33 Adam Oh, yeah.

28:35 Drew I mean, think about it.

28:36 Adam That's a good point. Well, I'll tell you, I learned from listening to drive time radio, morning drive time, that weather is huge, huge.

28:46 Drew Extremely variable throughout the great old times.

28:48 Adam Huge, especially listen to AM. They gotta break away every six or seven minutes because they gotta get to the weather, they gotta get to the traffic, but especially the weather. And I found out that it's people checking in from other cities and it varies. I mean, it could be 59 in one part and 60. And across town and then up in the mountains, like the foothills sometimes 58 and a half, 59. I mean, it swings, it varies, it varies.

29:19 Drew Huge.

29:20 Adam It varies. You go 60 miles towards San Diego, it's 58. You head up towards Santa Barbara, it's 58. It's all over the place. So it's important. And you'd have no way of knowing what the temperature was where you lived.

29:32 Drew If they weren't announcing it all the time, you'd have no, how would you know?

29:35 Adam You gotta know, but you know why? Because I could get in my car in my house, it could be 60 degrees. I get in my car, I could get over to my job, it could be snowing or it could be 130.

29:49 Drew No way of knowing.

29:49 Adam How would you know? How would you know? So they have to keep breaking away. Well, and of course with traffic too, because it's important to know what goes on on freeways that you've never heard of that are 65, but about halfway to Vegas, most of them. Jackknife, Big Rig, out around Edwards Air Force Base in the DeVore Pass. Yeah, fantastic. Let me write that down. Where's my scratch pad? So I just decide if we're gonna start doing decent radio, which you know is a dream of mine, Drew, that I start giving out the temperature.

30:22 Drew Well, let's hear it. It's important. You're wasting time. We'll have to break away in five minutes here and again.

30:25 Adam We should, because we got weather. We got traffic and news coming up too.

30:29 Drew What's the weather? I can't wait to hear what's going on.

30:31 Adam Anderson, we need some kind of weather music. That's the thing. You know, they always have a bed of music underneath them that makes it more palatable and somehow makes you, I think it opens your pores. You can absorb the temperature a little more. And by the way, with weather, ever headed back into the house and grabbed a shawl or taken off a layer?

30:49 Drew I've turn around driven back home. Turn around and drive back home. Because I'm in the car one of those announcements.

30:53 Adam Yeah, and you have no way of, and you and I both drive dune buggies to work, so there's no way of actually controlling the temperature within the vehicle. I don't even have a windshield.

31:03 Drew What are you talking about?

31:03 Adam I have to wear goggles.

31:04 Drew Goggles, yes, and a scarf and a big helmet.

31:06 Adam Yeah, it's like a Stutz bear cat. All right, Anderson, we got anything? Is Anderson by the microphone, by the way?

31:15 Drew Here you go. Yeah, it's like the closest thing I could find.

31:18 Adam All right, that's good enough. George Melinda checking in, 61 degrees, Temple City, 61, Lakeview Terrace, 61, Encino, 61, Norwalk, 61, DeVore, 61, Stanton, 61, Cudahy, 61, Oceanside, coming in at 61, Valencia, 61, Redland, 61, Saugus, 61, San Gabriel, 61, New Hall, 61, La Puente, 61, Port Wyniemi, 61, Duarte, 61. This is not a joke, Anderson. It's not a do you want a bachelor party?

31:46 Drew Get that music back we were initially had. Come on.

31:48 Adam Yeah, this is a serious thing. This is a serious thing.

31:51 Drew There we go.

31:51 Adam Port Wyniemi coming in at 61, Duarte, 61, Hawaiian Guard, 61, Sunland, 61, Temple City, 61 degrees, Pico Rivera checking in. I like when I say checking in. I like who checks in from Pico Rivera, you lying asses. Nobody called you from Pico Rivera. You got it off the stupid ticker. Pico Rivera checking in at 61 degrees. Monterey Park, 61.

32:19 Drew I like your quaint notion of a tele-type ticker going off as opposed to an internet.

32:23 Adam Monrovia, you got some stoned junior college guy, gets four bucks an hour, just pulled it off the stupid internet. Monrovia, 61 degrees. What? He's getting, he's not getting, he's getting like twice that. Oh, he's getting two times, two times four? That's your weather. Now we got action weather, we got news, we got traffic coming up top of the hour. We give traffic, news, weather, top of the hour, middle of the hour, quarter hour, eighth hour, sixteenth of an hour, 32nd hour, 64th of an hour, and 128th of an hour. We're checking in, we're checking in. By the way, there's no content left on the radio because we keep checking in. We got people all over the place too. That's a thrill too. We got them down at the courthouse. Oh, there's a trial going on. What's going on? Well, Kobe Bryant's not showed up yet. Fantastic! Let's get some weather in. You got so little to say, you just have to bounce around and check in everywhere all the time? It's the weather. What's the weather?

33:26 Drew You know what? You're right. Not everybody can fart and then laugh like a hyena. Not everyone can do that. All right.

33:32 Adam I just admit it. Just admit you don't got the goods. That's all. Ah, the weather. So important. So important. How about a little national weather while we're at it? What's going on in Boston, Chicago? Shouldn't we know?

33:47 Drew Travel is what?

33:48 Adam We might be getting on a plane.

33:49 Drew We might be one of the 800 people going to the airport at that moment.

33:52 Adam Sure, sure. What about the wind? What direction is it coming from?

33:54 Drew I love that. How many knots? Every time the pilot gets on the overhead and telling you about what it's going to be like at your destination. Knots. The wind and the direction of the wind.

34:03 Adam I love their knots.

34:04 Drew The winds come out of the south, southwest, 32 knots. And it's 87 degrees, clear sky. Level of, you know, stratus, the stratus for clouds.

34:13 Adam All right, Drew. David.

34:15 Yes.

34:16 Adam 19.

34:17 Hi Dr. Drew.

34:18 Adam What's up? You're calling from Vermont.

34:20 Yeah.

34:21 Adam Nice.

34:22 Caller It must be nice to be pretty warm over there. It's about 38 degrees here.

34:26 Drew Vermont is so beautiful this time of year. Oh my God.

34:29 Caller I really don't like the leaf peepers coming up though, cause drive 25 miles an hour on a 50 mile an hour road.

34:35 Adam Oh, everyone's coming to see the, what do you call them? Leaf what?

34:38 Caller Leaf peepers.

34:39 Adam They wanna come see the leaves changing.

34:41 Drew It's beautiful. So what's going on?

34:44 Adam People come here to see bums set on fire. So it's better to be in your place.

34:50 Caller Oh yeah. It's quieter. About two years ago, I got blood clots in my legs and I was in the hospital for about a month. And since then-

35:00 Drew Wait, a month. Why?

35:02 Caller They didn't know what caused it. I got sick for five days, couldn't eat or drink anything, got extremely dehydrated.

35:08 Drew Well, that was, so the blood clots went to your lungs, right?

35:12 Caller No, actually, I'm missing my inferior vena cava, so I can't have a very embolism, heart attack or-

35:17 Drew Hold on a second. You're missing your inferior vena cava?

35:21 Caller My body instead made thousands of little veins, which stopped the blood clots from killing me.

35:25 Drew Oh, how interesting. It's also probably why you got the clots though, right?

35:29 Caller Um, they said I sort of, they had trace amounts of lupus in my system.

35:34 Drew Well, it's called a lupus anticoagulant.

35:37 Caller And-

35:37 Adam What's he missing then?

35:38 Drew He's missing the main vein that goes from the legs to the heart. There's a huge big pipe that goes there, comes together in the femoral area and it goes up to the, he's got lots of little ones going up. And normally when you get blood clots down in your legs like that, they can migrate to the lungs and cause something called a pulmonary embolus.

35:53 Caller Sure.

35:54 Drew And you can die from that pretty quickly.

35:56 Caller It's bad times. They didn't tell me that in the hospital, they decided to tell me that afterwards and that wasn't too much fun, but.

36:02 Drew And the lupus anticoagulant is sort of a common, well, not so common, but a classic cause of leg clots outside of any other cause of leg clots like cancer and things like that.

36:12 Caller Yeah, they gave me, put me on Couman and for a few years.

36:15 Adam So what's the question?

36:17 Drew What's the question?

36:19 Caller I haven't been able, since I got out of the hospital, I haven't been really able to perform like I used to. Like I used to be able to like really horny in a second, I can get it up and no problem. But lately it's just, I've noticed my sex drive has completely dropped down.

36:35 Drew How long have you been out of the hospital?

36:38 Caller Year and a half.

36:40 Drew And so for a year and a half, and do you want any medication besides the Coumadin?

36:43 Caller This Coumadin, something called selsulate for swelling in my joints.

36:48 Drew That's just aspirin.

36:49 Adam All right, what else? That's it?

36:51 Caller That's about it, yeah.

36:53 Adam All right, what about it, Drew? Coumadin thins your blood, right?

36:56 Drew Coumadin thins your blood, it shouldn't do anything to erectile performance. I guess you could talk to your doctor about being switched to heparin, their heparin alternatives. Well, there's actually, there's something called lovinox you can give by shot twice a day. I've not ever heard anybody having trouble with coumadin erectile dysfunction, but I suppose that's possible. The acyclocylate's just aspirin, and I wonder if there's something else going on, maybe some mechanical relating to the clots that you had, or you ought to see a urologist to see if there's something else going on, or maybe whatever this lupocentric coagulant has been caused by is creating a systemic illness that is beginning to show itself.

37:33 Adam Sure, I hate to bust in, but we got weather to get out. Of course. It's been a minute and 18 seconds. Dior Boleina checking in, 61 Temple City, 61 Lake Vutera, 61 Encino, Chile, 61 Norwalk, a very warm and balmy 61 DeVore, 61 Stanton, 61 Carre, 61 Oceanside, 61 Valencia, 61 Redland, 61 Saugus, 61 San Gabriel, 61 New Hall, 61 La Puente, 61 Port Wyniemi, checking in, 61 Degrees, Duarte coming in at 61, Hawaiian Gardens 61, Sunland 61, Temple City 61, Pico Rivera 61, Monterey Park 61 Degrees, Whittier 61, Monrovia 61, and San Rafael, Drew, what do you think there buddy?

38:11 Drew 61 Degrees.

38:12 Adam Rolls 61 Degrees. That's your weather, we got traffic coming up at the top of the hour, in the middle of the hour, the quarter hour, the eighth hour, the sixteenth hour, thirtieth second hour, hundred and twenty-eighth hour.

38:21 Drew Remember I said there was a place, Lakeview Terrace, I'd never heard of before. That was the one.

38:25 Adam You've never heard of Lakeview Terrace?

38:26 Drew No, no, I've never heard of that.

38:28 Adam All right, you ready to go? To me, I think it'd be funny to live in Lakeview Terrace and then move to Santa Margarita. Imagine the poor SOBs living in Lakeview Terrace, like have to fill out returnants, slips, and home-ant. Lakeview Terrace, pens out of ink again. I need another pen. Same with the Santa Margarita. Yeah, I just want to live in it.

38:54 Drew What about Rancho Cucamonga?

38:56 Adam Nightmare. And for guys like me who can't spell and run out of steam when I'm writing those letter things, trouble. Andrew? Yeah, Germany or Florida?

39:07 Caller Yep, I have a retiree Rex police car with crutch.

39:11 Drew What?

39:12 Adam Rex, a retiree Rex police car with crutch. Now, what's that mean?

39:20 Caller A man, angry and being stranded at a train station, smashed up a police car with his crutch when police refused to drive him home or get him a hotel room, authorities said Friday. When police told the man late Thursday his train only operated on Saturday, he stormed off to the station parking lot and unleashed his fury on their car.

39:39 Drew Sounds very Florida.

39:41 Adam It sounds Florida, but the train part feels German.

39:46 Caller Police found the man sitting with the broken remnants of his crutch by the vandalized vehicle.

39:50 Drew Now, when a broken crime is a wooden crutch, crutches are metal out in this country.

39:54 Adam Well, hold on a second. Now, let me say this. Would this story make it overseas? That guy whacked it.

40:00 Drew Yeah.

40:01 Adam You know, the guy whacked the police car all the times, cracked the passenger side, win-win on the crutch. Is that news from Europe?

40:08 Drew I hope not.

40:09 Adam But then with the internet, you know.

40:11 Drew Yeah, who knows? He may be looking at some German newspaper. Do you speak German, Andrew?

40:16 Caller Yeah, it's Germany.

40:20 Adam He cracks so easily. Yeah, Germany. Yeah, we're right. Woo, never wrong. Yeah. Yeah, well, I was about to talk myself out of the answer, which is the crutch smacked of Germany. Oh, no, not the crutch. The wooden crutch. No, but the trains smacked of Germany. But then I was gonna talk myself out of it with the news coming over. But on the other hand, people just get on the internet and see whatever they want.

40:50 Drew But do you speak German, Andrew?

40:52 Adam Hold on a second.

40:53 Caller I know, this is just on Yahoo News.

40:58 Adam This is international news. I mean, this is newsworthy. Guy does a hundred bucks worth of damage to a cop car with a wooden cane.

41:05 Caller I actually was about $3,700. $3,700.

41:08 Adam Yeah. But you know, those Germans, they drive those very expensive Maybach police cars. So $350,000. They have a sky roof.

41:18 Drew They take turns sleeping in the back.

41:19 Adam Connelly leather. Full, you know, they have like champagne coolers and stuff. Well, that's fine.

41:24 Drew People go to Germany to become policemen.

41:26 Adam It's always weird when you do see a car like it, like German police, you see them driving a Mercedes.

41:31 Drew Yeah, it's weird.

41:32 Adam Nice. You go to Europe and there's like a Mercedes cab. Like we make cars that are made to be cop cars, like the Plymouth Fury and these like dusters and things like that. Like these are just LTDs, like just cop cars from the seventies. And if you see a civilian driving it, it's like, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, what are you doing? Like we have American car manufacturers who make cars that were born to rent and born for cops to drive. Like, you know, Pontiac has like Sunfire and Sunbeam and Sunbird, anything with a sun in it. And it's like, it's turquoise, it's got a T-top. It's plastic cladding all over it with ridiculous rims on it. You're like, oh, this is a rent. Like first up, you got the turquoise with the beige velour interior. Does anyone buy this automobile at the lot? No, no, this is a rental. You're making it to rent. And this other, yeah, the gray four door with the big 440 Plymouth in it, that's a cop car. You're making a cop car. Aren't you making a cop car? In Europe, I don't think they make cop cars or rental cars. They just make good cars.

42:45 Drew And people turn them into whatever.

42:46 Adam Yeah, if you're the police and you want a good car, you get the Mercedes. I feel, as a matter of fact, it'd be much better to be a cop in Europe. They're driving around a nice Mercedes. You got an airbag and climate control. Here we got the guy at the bench, vinyl seat. Oh, they're just driving around.

43:01 Caller Ooh, ooh, ooh.

43:03 Adam You know, they're kicking in overdrive all the time. The crappy hubcaps coming off when they're going around the corners. Then the rental guy's driving around. Like here, you know who's driving a rental car. Really, it's like, oh, really, turquoise. It's our truce. I gotta look into this, Drew, because I wonder if they just make them to be rented. And by the way, as a car company, when you're making cop cars and rental cars, you've given up. You're like, screw it. It's real. It's like us making, it's like making puzzles for retarded people. Like, I'm done with challenges. It's that puzzle. It's one piece. It actually comes out. It's not even a puzzle. If you can open the box, it's done. We'll take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Lynette, who's 20, 36 year old boyfriend has two teen sons that were doing sex stuff to each other. Oh, calling from Des Moines. Wait a minute. I got a theory. Lynette? You're Jewish, right?

44:06 Drew No, the boyfriend.

44:08 Adam The boyfriend's Jewish, yes?

44:10 My boyfriend?

44:11 Adam Yeah.

44:12 No.

44:13 Adam Oh, okay, hold on. Wow.

44:15 Drew You're way off. How could you be so, Adam, I don't understand.

44:18 Adam Yeah, just, because I got to, okay, let's-

44:23 Drew I know you're shocked.

44:24 Adam Let's just go to break, because I got to go take a good look at America. No, I'm saying for me, that was equivalent to a cop shooting a nine-year-old who was like waving around a piece of foil. I got to go evaluate myself. I got to see if I want to even do weather anymore on the radio. Wow, we're going to take a break. Hold on, hold on. Lynette, you sure the, your 36 year old boyfriend with the two teenage sons who are acting out sexually on each other and living in Iowa is not Jewish?

44:57 No, well, the mother keeps on switching religion. So I don't know, but-

45:02 Adam But he's not, he's not a Jew. Wow. Get Stryker in here.

45:11 You're done.

45:12 Adam Yeah, I got to, okay. Maybe I'll be back, maybe I won't. Call Loveline.

45:22 Guest 1-800-LOVE-191.

45:23 Adam Hey buddy, it's Adam.

45:24 Drew And I'm Dr. Drew.

45:25 Adam Here to talk about Axe Deodorant Body Spray.

45:28 Drew Yes, sir.

45:29 Adam You spray that on, you give stink the axe.

45:49 Drew Shields up.

45:50 Adam Woo! Oh, sweet, sweet, hungin ass neck.

45:54 Drew Sweet mother of God, is what you're saying.

45:56 Adam Wow, I just let a great one fly. Oh, Chris. Let me try to, let me.

46:00 Drew That way it backs away into the corner.

46:02 Adam Hey, hey, how about, how about you act professional, okay?

46:07 Drew Oh my God.

46:08 Adam Hey, it's the Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. I just let another ass biscuit go. And you know, the thing, the thing about it is, is I felt it come on with about 45 seconds before we came out of break. And I was trying to save it for you kids on the air. But if you chamber it, sometimes it goes away.

46:29 Drew Yeah.

46:30 Adam And you gotta let it fly. So you can only keep a fart on deck for so long. You know what I mean? You try to put it, it goes back to the dugout.

46:40 Drew To have a detailed discussion about how your gas functions within your anal verge is torture. When you're sitting here, it's being exposed to this.

46:49 Adam It's called the anal verge? Yes. I like that. What is the anal verge?

46:53 Drew Well, I'll get your picture of it.

46:54 Adam No, no, I don't want to see a picture.

46:56 Drew Right at the end of the rectum basically.

46:57 Adam Right, so what I'm saying is, if I got one that's on deck, I have to send him up to the plate.

47:04 Drew Oh my God.

47:04 Adam Because if he goes back into the dugout, he may not get a turn at bat.

47:08 Drew I've started like salivating and drooling in here.

47:11 Adam You're fine buddy, let's go. Can you be a pro? Can you focus? I don't care about the anal verge.

47:16 Drew I'm gonna show you a picture.

47:17 Adam All right, and I don't know what kind of thought, oh no, no, no, don't spray the lights all around. Screws the coffee up. It gets, it's a disaster.

47:26 Drew I'm just sitting here on the table just the next time you think of a young man.

47:29 Adam All right, Lynette?

47:30 Yeah.

47:31 Adam All right, so tell us your story.

47:34 Okay, I'm dating a man who's 36 years old. He's been divorced for two years. He has two older sons. Just to protect them, the older son is 13 years old. We're going to call him boy one. All right, he's just going to be 13.

47:50 Adam Well, I'll tell you what you can do. You can just call one the 13 year old and the other the 15 year old.

47:55 Oh, okay, thank you. The 13 year old, he's a big boy.

48:00 Adam Hold on a second. Hold on, is the other one 15?

48:04 No, they're at the age, they're 12 and 13.

48:08 Adam Oh, okay, well then we'll call the one the 13 year old and the other the 12 year old, all right? I like your flexibility though, Lynette.

48:19 Yeah, I'm trying to do this because I love him. I've known him for two years. And it's been dating for like four months.

48:27 Adam You've known him for two years?

48:29 Yeah, we've been dating now for four months. And I've gotten to know him over the two years. I've gotten to know his kids a little bit. And I've gotten to know him no more. I just don't want to make the mistake of pushing the two boys away. I don't want to make the mistake of pushing any of his kids away.

48:47 Adam Okay, all right, relax. You're 20, right?

48:49 Drew What's happening right now, what's happening?

48:51 Well, we got a call on Sunday. The 12 year old was, I guess, fighting with his brother, jumped on the back of the 13 year old, knocked him out. And when the 13 year old came to, the 12 year old had flipped him over, taken his pants down, and had his picker up his butt. And I mean, I've always wondered if the 12 year old-

49:14 Drew Hold on a second, hold on a second. Just take that in for a moment.

49:19 Adam Not Jewish.

49:21 Drew No, I don't think so. Yeah, it's amazing.

49:23 Adam I gotta recalibrate everything.

49:28 Drew And we don't believe this?

49:32 Adam It's tough.

49:34 Drew She laid it out so matter-of-factly. Des Moines.

49:38 Adam Yeah, I know, I'm with Lynette. Lynette.

49:42 Yeah.

49:42 Adam How do they know that the pecker was up the butt?

49:46 Well, I don't know personally. This is what I was told. I was right there when the phone call came in.

49:52 Drew Who called?

49:53 The mother. The mother lives in a different town and she called, she was very frantic. She was very upset. And there was a discussion about the 12 year old coming to live with us. But then the mother called and said that she's gonna have therapy, keep him in school there, keep him in therapy there and everything and try to figure it out. But when they come down here, it's just, I don't know what to do. They're supposed to come down this weekend.

50:21 And so it's kinda...

50:22 Drew All right, well, A, first of all, the 13 year old needs to be examined having had a sufficient head injury to go become unconscious. Yeah. That's a very serious head injury. He may have all kinds of post-concussive symptoms. God knows he may have other more structural, significant structural problems in his brain.

50:37 I'm also thinking he may also need to be checked anally because if that did actually happen, because their boy...

50:45 Drew Wait, we thought it was the other way around.

50:46 Adam Yeah, I thought it was the other way around.

50:49 Drew The 13 year old had the...

50:51 Pucker up his butt.

50:52 Drew Up his butt. You said it was the other way around. Yeah.

50:54 When you had it described. The 12 year old had his pants, had the 13 year old's pants down.

51:00 Drew And was raping him. My way to say he was raping him, but it's a little more specific, you know.

51:05 Adam Yeah.

51:06 Drew A little less graphic.

51:07 Adam We call it a window of opportunity in North Hollywood.

51:11 Drew Now, all we know, the 13 year old will be traumatized by this and will not be the same as a result. Maybe. And the 12 year old is profoundly ill. That's all we know. That's all we know so far.

51:25 Adam Lynette, are you sure you wanna get in the middle of the sort of retarded Hatfields and sexual McCoys here? Are you willing? You're 20 years old. Really?

51:35 Caller Well, this has happened to me before. My cousin sexually molested me. I have-

51:40 Drew I know, so to you it sounds okay. This is profoundly out of line.

51:43 Adam Hold on a second.

51:44 Drew Shocking.

51:45 Adam Not Jewish.

51:46 Drew Not Jewish either.

51:47 Adam All right, hang on a second, Lynette, cause there's a little more here to talk to. A gripping tale. We'll take, I'll see if I can work up some more gas. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

51:57 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up?

52:49 Adam Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1.

52:55 Drew I'm still recovering from my...

52:57 Adam Sprayed Lysol on here.

52:58 Drew Yes, I do. Just recovering from your farts, I am. I'm recovering from my kids' birthday party at Magic Mountain still. We had the best time. My kids today announced it was the best birthday party they ever had.

53:06 Adam They announced that.

53:07 Drew They announced that, but the problem is, there's so many, these parks, these theme parks have so many rides. It takes like a week to do all this stuff.

53:15 Adam I'll tell you the problem. The problem is, is you can't spend your own money for tickets, Drew. That's really the problem.

53:20 Drew No, I can't take all those kids' money for tickets.

53:22 Adam Once you get their parents to spend it, they can't do that. But it's like 50 bucks a head, and you're trying to bring 20 kids. Chris, like eight grand. Screwed. Yeah. I was able to do, look at me. I didn't do Magic Mountain when I was a kid. Look at me, I'm not better. Fine. Let me say this, Drew. Tell me what you think of this. I was thinking about it today. You're just spraying the lice all over the place. Now everyone's spraying the like fab breeze on everything. It's like every commercial is like your towel came out of the washer. You think it's clean, but is it really clean? Who cares? And so everyone's going nuts. And now they have this stuff that's like you're plugging stuff in. Now I'm seeing this one where it lets go little puffs of smoke every 15 minutes. How good do things need to smell? How about everyone just, you know, jump in the lake twice a month and we're fine? Yeah. Well, what are we going? What's going on here? Do we just decide in like the last six months that everything had the smell of a honeysuckle all the time everywhere? And I don't like houses smelling like something. It covers things up. I don't want them to smell like dog or ass, but I like them just to smell sort of clean. I do like, I do like the ass, right? My own ass. If I could get my ass and someone else, if I could go to someone's house, walk in and go, wow, smells like my ass in here, that would be huge. That would be in there. There's a scent I could get behind Adam's ass. You know what I mean?

54:52 Drew Yes.

54:53 Adam Finally, finally, they fashioned something after me. It would be like what what the Cordova car was to Ricardo Montemont.

55:00 Drew Yes.

55:00 Adam I love what they've done with my ass. Rich Corinthian underpants. Oh, I'm just saying, Drew, I don't mind you. I don't mind a couple of scented candles spread about the house. That's pleasant. Maybe you want to burn a little incense once in a while when you're actually like firing up Briggs and Stratton engines and pumping stuff in and plugging stuff in. I don't need it to run off a 110, you know? By the way, aren't you admitting there's a problem when you're actually plugging things in? It's your house, yeah. And then there's this idea of you're spraying the air and you're cleaning it by by. I'm just I'm sure people are going to get brain damage is come down with like minor lung 20 years from now from just sucking in like they're going to dissect people. They're just going to find pounds of Lysol and Febreze. There's going to be a syndrome, Febreze syndrome, Febreze lung. People just walking around in 20 years from now when just breathing, you know, toting an oxygen tank with them, it's like what have Febreze? Yeah, it's Febreze syndrome. Do we need to spray everything all the time? And you know what this reminds me of? This reminds me of the hand sanitizer craze that everyone was on like three years ago, all the Purell, all personal, everyone would shake hands and then just start hand sanitizing. Still around. Yeah, but they were going sick with it like three years ago. What's up? Is it look, I eat crap off the floor. I wear the same sweatpants two weeks in a row. I ate junk that rolls. I cramped in my hand, unfortunately. I didn't want to do that. That was a mistake. But I take a leak in the sink. I'm fine. But what's going on?

56:45 Drew I think it's actually mostly driven by women. Women are much more aware of the germ thing.

56:49 Adam Is it driven by women or is there a part that's like freaked out by like, I have this feeling like we're thinking about terrorism and we don't know when it's going to strike next. We're kind of freaked out and we're feeling out of control, so we got to start using extra hand sanitizer.

57:03 Drew Could be. OCD, Obsessive Compulsiveness, is a way of managing, controlling your environment.

57:08 Adam Yeah, I'm going to control because I'm going to circle the lamppost three times and that's going to stop the evil eye.

57:12 Drew Right.

57:13 Adam I'm going to use a bunch of Purell and some Febreze and all of a sudden whatever's going on in the world, it's going to be better. I'm going to fix it. It's weird. Let's just stop it, everybody. Stop spraying everything all the time. But do go ahead and get a couple of the scented candles spread around, nothing wrong with that.

57:31 Drew I like that. Any particular scent besides Adam's nectar?

57:33 Adam No. Just Adam's ass. That's it. Lynette?

57:37 Drew So Lynette, you've got a horrible situation we were talking about in the last hour.

57:40 Adam Well, let's recap, Drew.

57:42 Drew One brother, 12 year old, 13 year old of your 36 year old boyfriend attacked each other. 12 year old beat the 36 year old into unconsciousness.

57:49 Adam The 13 year old. Said 36 year old.

57:52 Drew 12 year old beat the 13 year old into unconsciousness and then raped him.

57:56 Caller Yeah.

57:59 Drew With his brother raping him. Don't put it, don't use any other language than that. That's what was happening.

58:04 Caller Yeah. That's the way I look at it, but it's foolish like, no, it's not like that. I'm like, no.

58:09 Drew Lennette?

58:10 Caller He was unconscious and it's against his will.

58:13 Adam Right.

58:13 Drew Listen, well, let's say they've been consenting. It's okay for the brothers to have anal sex.

58:17 Adam You just date-rape your brother as opposed to violently rape them? Yeah.

58:21 Drew I mean, come on.

58:22 Adam Well, now Lennette's 20 and Lennette was abused.

58:26 Drew She told us she was sexually abused too.

58:28 Adam Who sexually abused you, Lennette?

58:30 Caller My three cousins and my grandfather.

58:33 Drew Well.

58:34 Adam I hope your grandpa's dead at least.

58:36 Caller No, sadly not.

58:37 Adam But I'm sure he will be. Well, you're going to be dead too. And so are we.

58:43 Drew Having now sort of been the victim of that kind of history, now you're keeping people around you who have similar tastes.

58:52 Caller Well, it's a 12 year old boy.

58:54 Drew Yeah, but who did what to the 12 year old? Your boyfriend, unfortunately, we have to be suspicious of your stepfather or your boyfriend because the fact that you were sexually abused would make you attracted to people that have that kind of tendency. It's the way it works.

59:09 Caller That's kind of a sad way to look at it.

59:13 Drew I'm not looking at it. I'm just telling you the fact. The fact is that sources of terror in childhood become the source of attraction in adulthood. So if you were terrorized by somebody that victimized you, you'll be attracted to that kind of person.

59:24 Adam But it's like you're going, you've got a thrombosis and you're like, well, you're looking at it that way. Mr. Pet Scan over there. Well, just telling you the facts, you will be more attracted to guys who are abusers because of your past abuse. Sorry.

59:44 Drew And the fact that your boyfriend minimizes the profound, profound nature of these children's disturbance. It isn't troubling.

59:51 Caller The mother and the father.

59:52 Adam The mother and the father, yeah.

59:54 Drew Well, the mother at least wants to get some treatment going and she's looking at it as she's a frantic, she's upset, and she wants to take this very seriously.

1:00:00 Adam I wonder if the mother was sexually.

1:00:01 Caller I want to separate them both, you know, to prevent anything else from happening.

1:00:05 Adam Yeah. I wonder if the, I wonder if the mother was sexually abused.

1:00:13 Caller I don't know, but she is psychotic.

1:00:15 Drew Wait a minute, she's psychotic?

1:00:20 Caller How can I put this? She jumps, she jumps things. She does abuse her children, she does hit them. And this house, I can have them stand three feet, two feet next to me, and I can put my hand up and tell them, wave at them and tell them to go do what they need to go do. Well, I was in her house and I did the same thing because they were supposed to get ready for bed, and both the boys flinched, like I was going to hit them, but they've never done that here in this house.

1:00:50 Adam Okay, well, Lynette, let me give you some advice, baby doll. You're 20. You're 20 and you're signing up for a tour, like a 10-year tour with the worst army in the world. You understand, you're like signing up, you're committing to this family, it's like you being in the Taliban. Like you're going to the desert, you're going to be sleeping in a cave, you're going to be doing that stupid monkey bar thing, you're going to be down. You got a lifestyle change here.

1:01:23 Drew She's a victim.

1:01:24 Adam Yes, it's familiar because I know what you're used to and you're a victim and that's probably, ironically, what's attracting you to this situation and you're trying to fix it, you're trying to get some control over it. This is going to be a horrible, you're 20, you should be in your sophomore year of college or junior year of college having a good time, dating some 21 year old guy.

1:01:53 Drew What's that?

1:01:54 Caller I'm getting ready to go back for mortuary science. I've already wasted three years.

1:01:58 Drew Mortuary science?

1:02:02 Adam Listen, Lynette, I appreciate you wanting to help this group. This is more chaos. This is more of what you came from. This is more of what you know. And you're going to be right back in the thick of it. So if you...

1:02:16 Drew The mom's desire to get help is the big news here. Let the professional team decide whether the boy should be separated or not. The fact is somebody did something to that 12 year old, something awful. Oh no.

1:02:27 Adam Punchy. Punchy. Speaking of mortuary signs, something just died in my ass. Oh yeah. Yeah. Sweet. Sweet. Let's get to the weather. Temple City coming in at 61. Yorba Linda, 61. Lakeview Terrace, 61. Encino, 61. Norwalk, 61. DeVore, 61. Stanton, 61. Cuddey, 61. Oceanside, 61. Valencia, 61. Redland, 61. Saugus, 61. San Gabriel, 61. New Hall, 61. La Puente, 61. Port Wyniemi, 61. Tuarte, 61. Hawaiian Garden, 61. Sunderland, 61. Temple City, 61. Pico Rivera, 61. Monterey Park, 61. Whittier, 61. Monorovia, 61. And San Rafael. Check it in, 61 degrees. Yes, Drew? Time for news, weather, and traffic. And let me tell you something over here. We go to news, weather, and traffic every half hour, every quarter hour, every eighth hour, every sixteenth hour, every thirty-second hour, every sixty-fourth hour, and every hundred and twenty-eighth of an hour, and every two hundred and fifty-sixth of an hour. That's when we go to news, every two hundred and fifty-sixth of an hour. Nobody gets in more news, weather, and traffic than we do.

1:03:41 Drew Important. And a little bit of ass nectar.

1:03:43 Adam A little ass nectar. Adam's ass nectar. Eliza? Check it in. North Hollywood, fifteen sixty-one degrees. What's up, baby doll?

1:03:56 Guest First of all, I just want to say that I love you guys. I love you every night. And I wanted to know.

1:04:02 Adam Hold on, baby doll. Where are you calling from? North Hollywood. That's my hometown.

1:04:06 Guest Really?

1:04:07 Adam Yeah.

1:04:08 Guest Cool.

1:04:09 Drew Where do you live?

1:04:10 Guest Um, where do I live? Well, like around Coldwater and um, Victory, around there.

1:04:22 Drew It's near your house, Adam. Your party house. The other side of the freeway.

1:04:25 Adam Yeah. That's uh, no, no. She said.

1:04:28 Drew You're on the other side of the freeway.

1:04:29 Adam No. She said, no, we're on the same side.

1:04:30 Drew Oh, really?

1:04:31 Adam Yeah, we're cool. Uh, the Victory part's bad. Yeah, that's bad times.

1:04:34 Drew Oh, Victory, I was thinking, yeah.

1:04:35 Adam Yeah, gotta get out of there.

1:04:38 Guest Well, I wanted to know whether or not Crystal Mess is addictive.

1:04:41 Drew Profoundly, of course.

1:04:43 Adam Mm-hmm.

1:04:44 Drew You never heard of amphetamine addiction?

1:04:46 Adam Where are you going, North Hollywood High or Grant?

1:04:48 Guest Grant.

1:04:51 Adam It's Grant with the Chancellor's. I used to play him in football. I was like, what the F is a Chancellor?

1:04:57 Drew What does their mascot look like? Like the King of Hearts or something?

1:05:00 Adam It's a guy infected with a smallpox and he's a hemophiliac and he has a powdered wig on.

1:05:08 Drew Nice.

1:05:08 Adam And he's dying.

1:05:09 Drew Nice.

1:05:10 Adam He's fable. He died before half time.

1:05:14 Guest The reason I'm asking is because I've been doing it for about a year among other things and sometimes I feel like I need it and sometimes I just…

1:05:26 Drew Most amphetamine addicts, most amphetamine addicts are only using about two to three times a week. Yeah. And it will accelerate with time. So the way to prove to yourself whether or not you're addicted is to go ahead and stop.

1:05:37 Adam It's horrible.

1:05:38 Drew It happens.

1:05:38 Adam What are you doing? What's up? What's your plan?

1:05:41 Drew The thing about amphetamine is it causes the brain chemicals to form into free radicals. It causes… It pressures the chemicals out of the cell and makes the cells not work properly and the brain chemistry itself becomes free radicals that destroy the brain cells.

1:05:56 Adam Eliza?

1:05:57 Guest Yeah?

1:05:58 Adam What's your plan?

1:06:00 Guest What's my plan? Well, I don't know. It's just I want to stop because I haven't been doing too good in school and I'm repeating the ninth grade already.

1:06:10 Adam Yeesh. And by the way, that's… she's not… she's not calling… she's not in Tokyo. She's in North Hollywood.

1:06:20 Drew Repeat the ninth grade.

1:06:24 Adam Listen, they should issue you a hockey helmet if they tell you… if they repeat… you should be able to get like handicapped parking and stuff. You repeating the ninth grade over in North Hollywood? That's frightening. That… that… that really is. That is… that's scary. Eliza? Yeah.

1:06:48 Drew It's big time.

1:06:49 Adam Yeah. Okay. I want you… I want you to promise me a couple things first off. First off, you gotta stop the drugs. Secondly, you guys share a campus with Valley College there? Yeah. Don't ever go there. Don't ever… it's the worst thing in the world. There's an actual junior college and Valley College and Grant are like on one big block.

1:07:12 Drew At least they make no… they don't… no pretensions there. It says, the high school, here's what follows.

1:07:17 Guest Yeah.

1:07:18 Adam See you soon. See you soon.

1:07:19 Drew Well, it's just… it's all one campus.

1:07:20 Guest So, guys, I also wanted to know, like, if my parents were drug addicts and alcoholics, does that, like, necessarily mean that I will be?

1:07:30 Drew No, it's about a 50% probability of you inheriting that biological potential, but you are an addict, so we know you've inherited it.

1:07:37 Adam Yeah, I don't trust her now. Are you BSing? I don't believe you anymore.

1:07:41 Guest Me?

1:07:42 Adam Yeah, you.

1:07:43 Guest No, I'm not BSing.

1:07:45 Adam All right. Yeah, all right. So, you really got to repeat the ninth grade.

1:07:49 Guest Yeah, I really do.

1:07:51 Adam Just absent too much?

1:07:53 Guest Pretty much, yeah. It's because it's for a ditching school.

1:07:56 Adam Okay. Well, what's going on? What do you want to do? What do you want to do for a living? What's the plan?

1:08:02 Guest So, I originally wanted to be an actress because I'm like really into the performing arts. But I'm really like not sure where my life's going anymore.

1:08:11 Drew It's not going anywhere. That's the problem.

1:08:14 Adam Why don't you just drop out and get a job? Why bother with school? It's just a formality. You don't learn anything. You're going to end up cutting most of your days anyway. Just learn something.

1:08:28 Guest And it's like more pressure on me because I'm in a foster home. And like I have like people pushing me from all sides.

1:08:39 Drew Why did you end up in foster care?

1:08:41 Guest Well, because my mother is manic depressive.

1:08:44 Drew A drug addict.

1:08:45 Guest And an alcoholic. And my father is in prison.

1:08:49 Drew Excellent.

1:08:50 Adam All right. So, by the way, it could be Miss North Hollywood with that resume. Hey, Eliza, you have a tough road a hoe. And I don't, you know, I'm going to give you some advice. You're not stupid. School may not be your thing, but you're not dumb.

1:09:12 Drew Maybe vocational school or something.

1:09:13 Adam You cannot get, yes, you cannot get involved with drugs. You are a person who has a bit of a handicap just because of your bad parents in your environment. And you getting on drugs is like a guy with a bad hip who's already running a marathon deciding what's what's saying and it's underpants. You understand? Get off the drugs. Please get off the drugs. Watch out for the boys. Don't let them get you get get pregnant. Don't put all your eggs in the boy basket and find something you're into realistically, not acting and go do it. And look, the Eliza's of the world, we need to just pluck them out and go look, if you did graduate in three years, that's a big if. And if you did, so what? You got a D, you got a D average and you're gonna end up going to Valley College and we'll bury you there. How about we find out what you're into? What? What do you like? You like hair? Fine, go to school. You go to six months, you'll get your permit. We'll find you a job. That's what we need to do. I don't know why we don't do this in this country. They do it in other countries. They seem to understand that, okay, not everyone's going to college. And we think in this country that it's unfair for the to single people out who aren't going to college. No, I'll tell you what's unfair. What's unfair is to have people graduate from high school and go to work cleaning carpets. That's unfair to them. Plucking, you know, getting a hold of them at 15 or 16, you go, hey, buddy, you should learn welding. That's merciful. That's what you do. You realize, you know, at her high school, that 20% of the students, put it this way, 80% aren't going to college. Let's get them into something. You want to be a cop? Let's start working on it. You want to be a fireman? You want to be an electrician? You want to be a beautician? Nurse, secretary? Let's start working on it. Let's learn to type, learn to file, learn to weld. Let's work on it. Now, it's just, it's that 20% of them will go to college and the rest will warehouse. I say 20% will go to an actual college. The other, oh yeah, they're going to Valley. Oh, they're going to, oh yeah, they'll transfer. Yeah, please, please, please. You got held back a grade in the ninth goddamn grade. Do you think you're going to go get on the dean's list over the junior college and transfer to Stanford? Please, just learn something. Whatever you're interested in, pick something realistic and do it. That's what the counselors, by the way, should be doing.

1:11:47 Drew They're right.

1:11:48 Adam They don't do that. They're not, it's like, it's just warehousing, it's just.

1:11:52 Drew There's a theory though in this country that if we don't have an educated populace, we can't have a democracy.

1:11:58 Adam And I think they're not educating them. They're just smoking pot, cutting classes, they're not learning anything.

1:12:03 Drew I know, I know.

1:12:04 Adam Who are you kidding? Have people learn a trade, make a living, pay some taxes, and let's get on with it. You want to be educated, go watch Discovery Channel. All right, what's going on, Drew?

1:12:15 Drew We're gonna watch Discovery Channel.

1:12:16 Adam One more call. One more call.

1:12:18 Drew Quick one.

1:12:19 Adam Jake.

1:12:20 Caller Yeah.

1:12:20 Adam 26.

1:12:21 Caller Hey, how you doing, how you guys doing?

1:12:23 Drew Good.

1:12:24 Adam All right, I don't want to talk to him. Come on. He's recovering.

1:12:27 Drew Well, it could be a quick one.

1:12:28 Adam We just talked to someone who's recovering. Huh, this one? Dad forbid her from seeing boyfriend after he learned they had sex. Yeah, this is tawdry. Alex?

1:12:40 Guest Yeah.

1:12:41 Adam You're 16?

1:12:42 Guest Yes, I am.

1:12:44 Adam Call him from Tucson.

1:12:45 Drew How's your boyfriend?

1:12:47 Guest Well, he's my ex-boyfriend now.

1:12:50 Drew How old was your boyfriend?

1:12:52 Guest Yeah, he's about 17.

1:12:55 Drew About 17. All right, hold on.

1:12:59 Adam No, I'm just, I just can't, about? I know. Now, what do you feel that means? Do you think it means 18?

1:13:06 Drew Yeah, she's trying to bring him down a little bit.

1:13:09 Adam Turn him down?

1:13:09 Drew Turn him down?

1:13:11 Adam Alex? Yeah, yeah.

1:13:13 Drew He's 18, right?

1:13:16 Adam All right, now I'm gonna have to punish you. It's about 17.

1:13:21 Drew Yeah, I know. Well, she's talking to us the way she talks to her parents.

1:13:29 Adam Yeah, we're gonna lose this democracy, I'll tell you that, right? He's about 17. All right, now I'm disgusted with all of yous. Let's take a break, Drew. And we'll be back with young Alex, or my girlfriend's little sister keeps hitting on me. Now, please. Oh, my balls are so big, I can't ride my bike. Now, please. We'll talk to Alex after this. Yeah, you're listening to Loveline on Hot Talk 93ZFM. Temple City coming in at 61, Yorba Linda coming in at 61, Lake Vutera 61, Encino 61, Anderson, Where's My Goddamn Music? 61, Norwalk 61, DeVore 61, Stanton 61, Karahe coming in at 61 degrees. Oceanside 61, Valencia 61, Redland 61, Saugus 61, St. Gabriel 61, New Hall 61, La Pointe 61, Port Wyniemi 61 degrees, Duarte 61, Hawaiian Gardens 61, Sunderland 61, Temple City 61, Pigover 61, Monterey Park 61, Whittier 61, Monrovia 61, San Rafael, Drew?

1:14:46 Drew 61 degrees.

1:14:48 Adam That's right, right here on Hot Talk, The Edge, and Alice, 93.6.75 on your AM and FM dial. It's 827.27 after eight o'clock. That's 33 away from the top there. News, weather, and traffic coming in every quarter hour, eight hour, 16th hour, 32nd hour, 64th hour, 128th hour, 256th hour. Weather, traffic, sports. Jet Needwood coming in with sports at the top every hour or two. Dodgers didn't play tonight. All right, 61 degrees and cut of hay. Let's get back to the phones, Drew. You wanna play a song or we can back to the phones? What do you say?

1:15:31 Drew Don't drop trial, do not drop trial. And watch how they're gonna do it. He is out of his mind, he will drop trial.

1:15:36 Adam 61 degrees and you're, Melinda, back to the phones. We got Jake on there, Jake. Hold on a second, I wanna talk to Jake. Gonna speak, Alex. Yeah, 16. What's happening?

1:15:51 Caller Well, uh.

1:15:52 Drew Did your dad learn that your boyfriend is an adult?

1:15:56 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:15:57 Adam Well, he's around 17.

1:16:00 Guest Well, the thing is, okay, before we had sex, he was 17 and I was 16.

1:16:05 Adam Mm-hmm.

1:16:06 Guest And I'm just gonna call myself Alice, Alice right now, but yeah. Okay, well, what happened was, yes, he was-

1:16:15 Adam I just called ya Alex, so.

1:16:17 Guest Yeah, I know. Well, Alice, Alice, it doesn't matter. But yeah, what happened was, my dad-

1:16:25 Drew Around 17. Your dad, what?

1:16:28 Guest Hey, listen, listen, okay, so, yeah, my dad, he found out what happened. Anyways, he told-

1:16:35 Adam How did your dad find out? Is it a diary?

1:16:39 Guest I'm retarded, but yeah.

1:16:42 Adam What'd you do? Diary, right?

1:16:43 Guest Yeah, yeah, I didn't, okay, the reason why I did that was because I didn't know where to put my emotions at all. Like, I didn't know who to talk to.

1:16:54 Drew Don't you wanna make note of the fact that Adam magically knew that your dad had found your diary without you having to tell him that? No.

1:17:03 Guest Well, I don't.

1:17:04 Drew Is that kinda weird?

1:17:05 Adam No, it's not weird because it happened to you and therefore we should know. But it's not all that weird anyway. Chicks are done that way. And by the way, you're putting your emotions into a sum with a picture of Hello Kitty on the front of it that cost a buck 99.

1:17:19 Guest It was actually like, it was like a 99 cent, just blank, blank, blank paper. Yeah, but what, I mean, what's going on for me right now is that, you know, I really, really care about my ex-boyfriend.

1:17:40 Drew Why? Why is he your ex?

1:17:43 Guest Well, well, after I left his house and like my dad, like, can't ever see again, you know what I mean? Like we, he, I called him once and he didn't seem to want to talk. And I didn't know what was going on. And he wouldn't talk to me.

1:17:58 Drew Because your dad threatened his life or something?

1:18:01 Guest Well, I'm pretty sure that a guy would get scared, crapless, you know, if, you know, his girlfriend's dad just came to you and he knows that you're having sex with his daughter. And he's telling you, I mean, I'm pretty sure he was scared.

1:18:14 Drew So did your dad, did your dad go confront your boyfriend?

1:18:19 Adam I'm telling you, it's the height of retardism.

1:18:22 Drew I know.

1:18:22 Adam We have it every night. It's what manifests itself in your children, which is kids think you know what's going on with their story. That's why the classic kid thing is when you're eight, you go, Timmy doesn't think, and you're like, Timmy? Oh, Timmy, who's Timmy? Oh, you find out it's one of his classmates. Kids don't say, the kid who sits behind me or my friend, you don't know him, they just say Timmy, because that's when you do when you're eight. Hopefully, you leave that behind somewhere around the first or second grade. Alex is seem to, when you're dumb, you take that with you, just start talking about stuff that you think, well, we must know, sure. You reviewed the tape, didn't you, Drew?

1:19:04 Drew Of course, well, I was right there, I was standing right there.

1:19:05 Adam You see the part where the dad came in?

1:19:06 Drew I was standing right beside her.

1:19:08 Adam Yeah, I know you, Alex, we don't know what your dad did. Did he confront this guy? He did.

1:19:16 Drew Well, he went to his house and laid into him?

1:19:20 Guest Well, my dad and my stepmom, my stepmom mainly, it was her, she called my ex-boyfriend's mom saying that she wanted to have a talk and wanted to sit down and talk about the whole situation and we did.

1:19:39 Adam We did.

1:19:40 Drew Who's we?

1:19:41 Guest My father, me and my mom.

1:19:46 Drew She called somebody and we-

1:19:51 Adam The step-

1:19:51 Drew I love that we had to play this all back for her.

1:19:54 Adam I would, except for I would have a seizure if I had to hear it again. Stepmom, okay, here's what I've gotten so far. Had sex with the boyfriend. You okay, Drew? Well, that's a first.

1:20:06 Drew Just a new noise.

1:20:07 Adam Okay, had sex with the boyfriend. Boyfriend is 17 at the time, he's 18 now. Yeah, right. I wrote it down in the diary. The dad read it. Dad pitched a meeting with Stepmom. Stepmom called his parents, suggested they all get together and have a meeting.

1:20:24 Drew I'm not sure she suggested that.

1:20:27 Adam Oh, well, that's the way.

1:20:28 Drew Yeah, it came off that way, but I'm not sure that's what happened.

1:20:30 Adam And then it ended up they had a meeting, but it was just Stepmom, dad, or she said her mom.

1:20:34 Drew Yeah, I didn't get Stepmom even.

1:20:36 Adam Stepmom made the call, but then mom got in on the meeting, Alex.

1:20:42 Drew Please explain what the hell happened.

1:20:44 Adam Who had the meeting?

1:20:46 Guest My, well, the thing is I'm trying not to give too much information because-

1:20:50 Adam Yeah, you're doing a great job.

1:20:52 Drew Yeah, well done.

1:20:52 Adam Fantastic.

1:20:53 Guest Okay, well, what? Yeah, my dad, me, and my stepmom. And we all went over to my ex-boyfriend's house.

1:21:01 Adam And you went over there.

1:21:02 Drew And met with his parents?

1:21:05 Adam Oh, it had to be a hellish car ride.

1:21:07 Drew A car ride? How about with the boyfriend waiting there for the Grim Reaper to arrive?

1:21:11 Caller Hellish.

1:21:12 Guest Yeah.

1:21:12 Caller Hellish.

1:21:13 Adam I would have swallowed my keys and jumped off a cliff if I was the boyfriend.

1:21:18 Guest My car-

1:21:19 Adam All right, no, wait a minute. So you went over there and had the meeting go?

1:21:24 Guest It went horrible, you know?

1:21:26 Adam Did you have to do like a recreation, like a coitus recreation?

1:21:30 Guest Well, you know, I went over there and what I wanted to come out of it didn't happen.

1:21:36 Drew What did you want to come out of it?

1:21:38 Guest I wanted to go over there and I wanted my dad to just sit down, be quiet, and just let me talk or let him talk. And I wanted to walk out of there having a better relationship with my boyfriend and you know, he probably was really scared of my ex-boyfriend, he was probably terrified. I wish he would have just stood up and said, yeah, I care about your daughter and I don't want you to tell me that I can't see her.

1:22:15 Drew Maybe that's not how he felt.

1:22:17 Adam And maybe he was scared and just thought discretion is a better part of Valor.

1:22:21 Drew But more than that, maybe he was just into it for the sex.

1:22:24 Adam Well, I mean, were you guys truly boyfriend and girlfriend?

1:22:29 Caller Yeah.

1:22:31 Drew For how long?

1:22:32 Guest Not very long.

1:22:34 Drew How long?

1:22:34 Guest About a week or two.

1:22:37 Drew Oh, that's not a boyfriend or girlfriend. See, he's not interested in staying in a relationship with you, Alex.

1:22:44 Adam Hold on, a week or two. We could be talking about five days.

1:22:48 Drew Yeah. We're talking about one outing. We're talking about him begging for sex and then getting it.

1:22:54 Adam I don't even know if he had to beg.

1:22:56 Drew No, I think about five days.

1:22:58 Adam Yeah. And so now...

1:23:01 Drew Not your boyfriend. Not your boyfriend.

1:23:03 Adam And how long ago was that?

1:23:06 Guest How long ago did we sit down and talk with each other?

1:23:08 Adam Yes. Yes.

1:23:09 Guest It's been almost probably two and a half months.

1:23:14 Adam It's been two and a half months. And he's been avoiding your phone calls since then?

1:23:21 Guest I've called him only about two or three times. And when we've talked, it hasn't been anything about his dating, like, do you want to get back together or...

1:23:31 Drew Well, you were never together in the first place, Alex. Because you had sex with him doesn't mean anything to him. I know.

1:23:36 Adam Look, here's...

1:23:37 Drew He's 18.

1:23:38 Adam Alex, forget it. He's 18. He's moved on. It's called unrequited love. You had feelings for him.

1:23:46 Drew He didn't have a return.

1:23:47 Adam He didn't have for you. He was horny. He desired you sexually. He got busted and it was an uncomfortable thing and that was it. If he was into you, I know you're going to blame your dad for this one.

1:24:01 Drew Your dad has the right instincts. Yeah.

1:24:03 Adam Your dad is going to give you eating disorders, a little intrusive, but your dad is actually present in there and trying to do some parenting in a world that's a void of parenting.

1:24:16 Drew Your boyfriend is lucky to have his head torn off.

1:24:19 Adam But do not blame your dad for this. Your boyfriend, the reason he didn't stick up is because there wasn't anything sticking up except for the boner in his sweatpants. He's not interested. Get realistic about it and stop blaming your dad. By the way, everybody, please, why go through life with that sort of like, your boss tells you he needs you to focus on work and he's jealous. That's why he told you some guy he had a one night stand with who doesn't want to see anymore, doesn't want to see anymore. It's your dad's fault. It doesn't serve you well to go through life in this sort of bizarre fantasy world where everything else is someone else's fault or someone else's prom or you start blaming.

1:25:01 Drew Blaming is a bad strategy just generally.

1:25:04 Adam Do you want to blame the wrong people? That's what you want to do?

1:25:06 Drew Blame the weather?

1:25:08 Adam Sixty-one coming in at Port Wynime. Is that what you want to do? You just want to go through life like blaming your dad, the guy you have to live with, by the way, for the guy you're never going to see again?

1:25:17 Drew Yeah, Adam, I can imagine somebody blaming their grandmother, their mom, freak out or how dare you. Blame their parents. How dare you, Drew. How dare you carpet cleaning.

1:25:25 Adam I'm a victim.

1:25:26 Drew Blame the school.

1:25:26 Adam How dare you.

1:25:27 Drew Blame the driver's ed.

1:25:28 Adam I am a victim of a society, of my parents, of the LA Unified School District. How dare you. How dare you turn my own carry on myself. He who went to the Lord Fowler School.

1:25:43 Drew Now you're blaming me for albino hemophilia.

1:25:46 Adam Yes. He who got laid in high school. He whose parents provided a roof, hot meals, and a car for him. He who, he who, he who. You know what you're getting for that? Sweet nectar, sweet nectar, temple city chicken, it's 61, New Orleans is 61, Lakeview Terrace is 61, Encino is 61, Norwalk is 61, DeVore is 61, Stanton is 61, Cadet is 61, OJDyde is 61, Valencia is 61, Redland is 61, Saug is 61. Say that. You ready to go here, Drew?

1:26:26 Drew Yeah, break.

1:26:26 Adam What do we got?

1:26:27 Drew I gotta run out of this room.

1:26:28 Adam Alright, we gotta run out of this room. Sorry, Ann. We gotta run out of the room. She wants to do liner.

1:26:32 Drew Well, she's not gonna come in here and set it up, don't want to.

1:26:34 Adam No, it's bad. We gotta get out. Alright, we'll be right back after this. Guess how many terrific sense acts, deodorant, body spray comes in? No, it's more. No, more.

1:26:51 Drew Nine.

1:26:52 Adam No, seven. Yeah, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew over there. Thank God that fart cleared out.

1:27:20 Drew Yeah, I get that. Did you just grab yourself?

1:27:24 Adam No, I don't think so. Yeah. No, I mean. You're a doctor, come on.

1:27:38 Drew Yeah, that's the point.

1:27:39 Adam Yeah.

1:27:40 Drew Even I am disgusted by this.

1:27:42 Adam Yeah.

1:27:43 Drew I have to put a shield up over my face.

1:27:45 Adam Yeah.

1:27:46 Drew Disgusting.

1:27:47 Adam Yeah. All right. You ready to roll?

1:27:51 Drew Oh, Chris just lost it. He had a seizure.

1:27:53 Adam Are you all right, buddy? I wonder if you could get sued.

1:27:56 Drew Oh, with that?

1:27:59 Adam If I farted and Chris had a seizure.

1:28:02 Caller I would be here for a course.

1:28:03 Adam You really think so?

1:28:04 Drew It's an attack.

1:28:06 Adam If I did cause the seizure, one could argue.

1:28:09 Drew Maliciously too, you pushed it out. As you said earlier in the show, by your own admission, you could make it sort of recede.

1:28:16 Adam Infinity's got the deep pockets.

1:28:18 Drew Oh my God, this is a bad one.

1:28:19 Adam We do work for Infinity, right?

1:28:21 Drew Right, Westwood One, Infinity, yeah.

1:28:23 Adam Same place? Okay. They got the deep pockets. He goes after them. You all right?

1:28:29 Drew This is a bad one, huh?

1:28:30 Adam Jake?

1:28:30 Caller Yeah, hey, how you guys doing?

1:28:32 Adam 26?

1:28:33 Caller That's me.

1:28:34 Adam What's up?

1:28:35 Caller Well, first, you guys were talking about Mercedes-Benz in Europe.

1:28:40 Adam Mm-hmm.

1:28:41 Caller And I was over in Europe this past summer and they kind of gut them out for the Europeans. The Americans like the cush, automatic, leather seats and stuff. But those cars the cops are driving around and they're kind of beat up and all cloth interior and stick shift, so it's a little different in terms of quality.

1:28:59 Adam No, I know, before Mercedes will actually deliver them to the police department to take a chain to them. Yeah, they beat them up pretty good.

1:29:07 Caller Yeah.

1:29:09 Adam I-

1:29:09 Drew Take out the leather putty velour.

1:29:11 Adam No, I understand they might not have the heated seats.

1:29:15 Drew It's not the bravest system.

1:29:17 Adam Yeah.

1:29:18 Drew No.

1:29:18 Adam No, I understand maybe they don't go with like the optional 14 speaker Blaupunk and stuff like that. It's still a Mercedes. And yeah, they have a stick, but Ferrari's are sticks. I mean, it's not.

1:29:32 Drew And by the way, the point was about how they're not manufacturing cars specifically and solely for the purpose of being capital.

1:29:39 Adam Yes, I understand that it's not the top of the line. It's not the same one the royal family tools around it. Go ahead, Jake.

1:29:49 Caller Right, right. Well, my question was actually for you, Dr. Drew. I'm in recovery. I've been clean over two and a half years. Great. And I have a sponsor. I'm in a 12 step program. Uh-huh. And I listen to your program and you speak really highly of 12 step programs. And I'm sort of living proof that they work. But a friend in recovery sent me an email that had these two comedians, Penn and Teller.

1:30:16 Drew Penn and Teller?

1:30:17 Caller Yeah, yeah. And they put together this whole thing. They were interviewing people from like American College and people from the Harvard Medical School that were talking about how 12-step programs are ineffective, outmoded. There are serious concerns in the psychiatric community about the effectiveness of 12-step programs. Uh-huh. And, you know, there's real debate about whether or not addiction is a disease.

1:30:47 Drew No, there's no debate about that. But there is debate about what the best way to treat it is. And because things, particularly what they're talking about is opiate addiction. And opiate addiction has a very poor success rate, no matter how you're treated. And as a result of that, a philosophy has sort of bled into the treatment arena, whereby there's a growing sort of wisdom that opiate addicts should be treated with long-acting opiates like methadone or replacement therapies like buprenox or buprenorphine. Magically, though, that option is not offered to other doctors, airline pilots or lawyers. People actually have to return to a flourishing life. Right. Magically, that's not offered to them.

1:31:27 Adam Go girl.

1:31:28 Drew But to everybody else, it's okay. So just trust me. Just trust what's worked for you. There's a reason that 12-Step is sort of the basic foundation of most treatment modalities, most treatment centers, and those centers that really are entrenched in returning people to an active and full life are involved in 12-Step.

1:31:48 Adam Thank you, Drew.

1:31:48 Drew They don't always work, and there are other things that need to be considered for people that are more intractable, and okay, that's where the debate comes in.

1:31:54 Adam April?

1:31:55 Caller Yes?

1:31:56 Adam Twenty-two?

1:31:56 Caller I'm sorry, what?

1:31:59 Adam You're 22 years of age? Turn your radio down, please.

1:32:04 Caller It's not even on. Sorry.

1:32:06 Adam I think we're just hearing an echo. Go ahead, April.

1:32:11 Caller Okay, so my boyfriend likes to perform certain acts on me, but he'll only do it when I'm asleep.

1:32:20 Adam Uh-huh.

1:32:20 Caller I occasionally wake up. He isn't aware that I wake up, and then when I wake up, he stops. He won't do it. He doesn't even know that I know he does it.

1:32:29 Drew What is it he's doing?

1:32:32 Caller Should I be blunt about it? Basically tossing my salad.

1:32:37 Adam He looks her. He looks her ass.

1:32:39 Drew That's tossing salad?

1:32:40 Adam I think it is, Drew.

1:32:41 Caller Yes.

1:32:42 Adam I learned that in Oprah.

1:32:43 Drew Tossing salad is...

1:32:45 Adam They actually talked about it in Oprah.

1:32:47 Drew What does that do with time?

1:32:49 Adam I don't know, Drew. What's cornholing have to do with... Touche. Touche. What's a dirty Sanchez have to do with? Okay. All right. All right. April.

1:33:05 Caller Yes.

1:33:05 Adam And by the way, you give him a little taste of what I got. He never going down there again.

1:33:10 Drew That's aversive conditioning.

1:33:12 Caller That's...

1:33:12 Drew Yeah. So maybe we can put your wife's chili as a sort of... Yeah.

1:33:18 Adam Uh, he's actually licking the anus while you're asleep.

1:33:23 Caller Yeah.

1:33:23 Adam And he doesn't expect that's going to wake you?

1:33:27 Caller Sometimes when I drink, I don't wake up.

1:33:31 Drew Is he ashamed? Is that why?

1:33:34 Caller Like, I'm scared to bring it up to him because I'm like...

1:33:37 Drew That's a hard one for me to imagine would be arousing if you didn't think you were actually doing something to your partner arousing, you know what I mean? It's not something that sounds enjoyable for its own sake.

1:33:47 Adam That's taken one for the team. If you're doing it on a corpse, that's just low self-esteem right there.

1:33:54 Caller Or more. The second I wake up, it stops.

1:33:59 Adam Huh.

1:33:59 Drew Fascinating.

1:34:01 Adam Well, look, does he drink or do drugs?

1:34:04 Caller No.

1:34:05 Adam Really? And you get drunk and you pass out?

1:34:09 Caller No. Well, occasionally we'll go out and drink, but I mean... I mean, extremely heavy sleeper.

1:34:16 Adam What? What does...

1:34:17 Caller I can sleep through an earthquake and not wake up.

1:34:19 Adam You're very lucky. What is... What's the question? What's he do for a living? Construction?

1:34:25 Caller He works at Starbucks.

1:34:27 Adam Starbucks?

1:34:28 Drew Yeah.

1:34:28 Caller Yeah. He's a manager.

1:34:30 Adam Nice. April, I think you need to talk to him.

1:34:34 Drew Is this Chris's brother we're talking about? I think it is.

1:34:37 Adam I think you need to talk to him. That's negative. That's negative. Can you talk to him? Yeah. Let's talk to him. You need to talk to him. Just tell him you woke up the other night and you were down there and it was weird. Don't corner him. Don't shame him. But just see if you can get to the bottom of it. Pardon the pun. I don't know what to say.

1:34:58 Drew You just say what you know.

1:34:59 Adam It's freaky going to bed thinking that somewhere in the middle of the night you're going to get a dart and you're cool.

1:35:08 Drew Like I said, like we've said, though, you ain't got no concerns in that regard.

1:35:11 Adam Buddy dart.

1:35:12 Drew Right?

1:35:13 Adam Yeah.

1:35:13 Drew Your nectar ain't going to be sipped.

1:35:15 Adam No.

1:35:16 Drew No.

1:35:17 Adam And let me tell you this, Drew, and hold on a second. Yeah. Oh, sweet. Sweet. Oniony. Brine. Nice. Yeah. Let me ask you this, Drew, please, everyone always tell me about a dog's mouth being cleaner than humans.

1:35:39 Drew Yeah.

1:35:40 Adam What's going on? First off, okay, maybe it's marginally cleaner.

1:35:44 Drew It's cleaner in terms of the-

1:35:45 Adam It still shouldn't be looking in the face. I don't know, like dogs and whether, but you know, they're-

1:35:51 Drew Just because they sniff each other's ass doesn't mean that the nectar from the ass stays in their mouth.

1:35:55 Adam All I'm saying is people throw that dog's cleaner than a human mouth thing.

1:36:01 Drew Let's put it this way. You get a bite in your hand from a human. The infection that you get is destructive, it eats tendon, it's a mess.

1:36:08 Adam Really?

1:36:09 Drew You get a dog bite, it's no big deal.

1:36:11 Adam Why do you get the shot then? Why do you get the rabies shot? It's no big deal.

1:36:15 Drew From the standpoint of that bacterial infection that comes from the mouth, way worse. Cat way worse than the dog.

1:36:22 Adam Really?

1:36:22 Drew Human worse than the cat. Cat is something called Pastorella marcescens that you get from it. Pastorella is a really bad bug.

1:36:31 Adam And humans bite you, will you get it automatically or does the person have to be carrying something?

1:36:37 Drew No, you're pretty much going to get some bad infections.

1:36:39 Adam You get bitten, really? Nice.

1:36:41 Drew When people punch and they get a knuckle, a tooth across the knuckle, it breaks the skin, the joint gets infected horribly usually.

1:36:48 Adam Really? I was going to sock you after the show, but I'm actually going to hit you in the ribs now. All right, what are we going to do, Drew? Let's take a break.

1:36:58 Caller Yeah.

1:36:58 Adam All right, we'll be back after this.

1:37:01 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:37:02 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:37:06 Adam One call is all you need to make.

1:37:08 Guest Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

1:37:11 Drew Call the Dateline. 1-800-CALL-LA-PIE.

1:37:31 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. We could end the show like 30 seconds early, right?

1:37:38 Drew It's never happened.

1:37:39 Adam No, it's never happened.

1:37:40 Drew I doubt it's gonna happen tonight.

1:37:41 Adam No, I think we could do it.

1:37:42 Drew Really?

1:37:43 Adam Yeah, I think we could do it. And by the way, this is my new policy, because I found out that ending it two minutes late every night, it wasn't like airline mileage. We didn't accumulate a rollover or anything.

1:37:52 Drew Yeah, we were supposed to accumulate an entire show.

1:37:54 Adam That was my plan. Two minutes at a time, we built a show.

1:37:57 Drew So we need to start working at the other direction. Too late for tonight.

1:38:02 Adam We just start chipping away, start chipping away. We'll leave early tonight. All right. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:38:15 Caller This has been Loveline. Opinions expressed in the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, October 18, 2004