Episode 1000652889356

0:56 Voiceover Online is meant for an adult audience. I love you.

1:19 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist in New York City tonight. Drew?

1:30 Drew Yeah, I'm here.

1:31 Adam Yeah, buddy. Jeff Probst here tonight from Survivor.

1:35 Drew What up, Drew?

1:38 Adam My favorite show is True Knows.

1:41 Drew You can do the dance for him?

1:44 Adam I do the dance every Thursday night in front of the TV set. Although it's tough at the beginning because there's a lot of survivors. And it goes on longer and, you know, I got, I got, I vomited. I vomited halfway into it last time, but I got my own tribal dance, I do. And absolutely my favorite show. And what I was saying last night, Jeff, was, I was amazed that you were able to remember everyone's name, especially at the top, because, you know, if you think about it, 16 people at the beginning, right? You could remember the 16 people's names in week number nine. But the thing is, maybe, maybe. But I know, because once in a while I come in here and I look at engineer Chris and it's just a thousand names scroll by in my stone Rolodex, I have no idea. And then it comes out like this. Give me a warmup, kid. That's how it ends up. Michelle here tonight though, yeah? Not Michelle, right? That's right. Nice. So here's my point. The 16, I could remember in week nine, but week one, I wouldn't know the 16, and that's the hardest time. I mean, you have the least time to familiarize yourself with everyone. What do you do? Do you study?

2:56 Jeff Probst I go over these little cards, but I've blanked before.

3:00 Adam Oh, you have? I've never seen it.

3:02 Jeff Probst Yeah, because, well, you're just, it's the same thing. You're thinking of a million things, and names usually, like I know your name because I've seen you on TV a million times. So I look at you and I instantly know your name, but if you're brand new, you're right. You're thinking of something else and you go, the guy with the dark hair is.

3:17 Adam Oh man. I'd be like, hey, guy dude bro, and what's his nose and Nike and Jeff Flaps. Yeah, over here.

3:24 Jeff Probst I just look in between three people and I go, what do you think? Wait for somebody to answer.

3:29 Adam Yeah, Drew does that too when he says, I agree with the guest. That means he doesn't know. Doesn't know the guest's name.

3:36 Jeff Probst I love these little tells.

3:37 Drew Yeah.

3:38 Adam So.

3:39 Jeff Probst Well don't you find that you have agreements with all your friends, which is you walk into a party and the first thing you say is, if I don't introduce you in the first nanosecond, stick your hand out and say my name is.

3:50 Drew This is what you need a wife for.

3:51 Adam Tried it a thousand times. They always fail miserably. And then you find yourself getting distracted because you're angry at them because what do we just talk about? And then they.

4:02 Drew Because it always becomes about, it always becomes about, well, you didn't introduce me.

4:06 Adam Yeah, I know.

4:07 Drew Because I don't remember the name.

4:09 Adam I gave the whole speech. I gave the entire scenario and it played out just exactly as I painted it out in the parking lot and nothing. You came through with nothing.

4:18 Jeff Probst And the thing is, we're rarely that person. People when you go, people probably tend to know you. So they say, hey, Adam, I want you to meet my wife.

4:27 Adam Yeah, well, because and you do the same, I guess, which is we don't play the wacky neighbor on the UPN sitcom. They we don't get called by my character name. If they know me, they know my name because that's the one I use and whatever I will.

4:41 Drew Everybody's outraged that Vice President Cheney didn't remember these sat next to Edwards at a couple of occasions. Are you kidding? This guy must meet a thousand people a day.

4:50 Adam No, I like that. You know what that means? It means he's thinking and not kissing ass. I like that.

4:55 Drew Right.

4:56 Adam Nothing wrong with that.

4:57 Drew If my people are out of, he couldn't possibly have forgotten meeting him. He was lying. No, I don't, I barely remember meeting Jeff, barely.

5:05 Adam The guy's had 70 surgeries and he's 80 years old. Please, cut him some slack. So let's talk Survivor.

5:12 Drew All right.

5:12 Adam Yes, first off, they voted off Dolly, the hot.

5:16 Jeff Probst We were all sorry.

5:17 Adam Hot blonde, so early. It's how you know the game isn't rigged because they consistently vote the hot chicks off early and if the game was in any way being manipulated by the network, that would never happen.

5:31 Jeff Probst And it's a good thing we can't, yeah, it's a good thing we can't rig it because we're all sitting there going, it's looking like Dolly. Really, Dolly? Well, you know, let's think about this for a second. Why do we have to have a tribal council? I'm just throwing out an idea.

5:45 Yeah, do we have to vote somebody out tonight?

5:47 Adam Not night one, please. The jury's way out. Give her breaks, a little sheep farmer, Dolly.

5:53 Jeff Probst I know, with those tight little black shorts. Let me tell you. And our cameramen are expert at doing this. You have a balance beam. Okay, we get lucky and all the girls, instead of walking across, decide to shimmy across. Okay, that's money in the bank. Because you've got, now you're prone. So our guys are so good, they can find a shot of Dolly's buttocks, which by itself will never make air. CBS will find it too graphic. But in a nice fluid motion, you come over that butt and then you go up to Scout, who's in her 60s, and you end on her face and we've got a nice shot.

6:28 Adam Now you got parody.

6:29 Jeff Probst Yeah.

6:29 Adam Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's awesome. And I think it was, I don't know if it was Survivor. Is this nine?

6:37 Yeah.

6:37 Adam Is this the ninth? Maybe it was the seven. Lot of sack and boob and, you know, it's essentially guys. It's essentially you doing an obstacle course in a hotel towel.

6:49 Yeah.

6:49 Adam I mean, that's basically what half of it is, Drew. Just tiling everything out. And some of it in positions that weren't flattering, even for attractive people, and these were fellas.

7:01 Jeff Probst And guys never look good naked. I mean, that was the dumbest thing on Survivors when the three guys in the Pearl Islands dropped their shorts thinking they were studs and they looked like idiots.

7:10 Adam Yeah. Yeah, that's bad time. The sack is not. It's really the least attractive part, not on a man or a woman, but just in the animal kingdom. Even into the insect world and the invertebrate world, Drew.

7:26 Drew The sack isn't. Cylinderates have nothing on the sack.

7:29 Adam It's an invertebrate, isn't it, in the sack? Because I look at it as a separate being.

7:34 Drew Well, it has a mind of its own, yes. Thank you.

7:37 Jeff Probst Yes, it does.

7:38 Adam All right, so Thursday nights, eight o'clock on CBS in a big earthquake, which I thought was an earthquake with a volcano or a volcano that caused an earthquake that was just confusing editing on their part.

7:52 Jeff Probst What do we got? I think the volcano was going off because the world was shaking.

7:56 Adam Oh, it was?

7:56 Jeff Probst The volcano's going off all the time. That thing just is going, going, going. But we did, we had this 5.7 earthquake. And there's really one person was in interview, being interviewed for one of those reality quiet moments where they say, so-and-so doesn't know it, but they're gonna get it tonight. And that was our best shot, because you really see, and then you start seeing the coconuts falling, and then you got all these faces. And it was, we all felt it. We were at a challenge waiting on them to get there and the entire ground just started.

8:25 Adam Really?

8:25 Jeff Probst Yeah, like you're in LA.

8:26 Adam Were people worried about a tsunami or something of that effect?

8:30 Jeff Probst We weren't, but they had had a cyclone through there, I think two months before we got there and wiped out the place.

8:37 Adam Now, where are you, and I think I asked you this last time, but you're always in different places. How far away are you from the camp? You're at a camp essentially, right?

8:47 Jeff Probst Well, we had, on this one, we had, we kind of just took over this little town, Fatay, and so we were in three different makeshift hotels.

8:57 Adam Right.

8:58 Jeff Probst I was at one, some of the crew was at another, some of the crew was at a third. So we're a ways from them. We're a long ways away.

9:03 Adam Right.

9:04 Jeff Probst There was a lot of driving this time, actually. We would drive out to a challenge area and either have the challenge there or we'd drive out to that area, then get on a boat and travel out to another area. So it was a lot, long distance.

9:16 Adam How much work? The locales are so exotic and so like exquisite and so you would never get a chance to go there. I mean, it doesn't seem to be on any travel agents' dock. Right. So what an opportunity, number one, and what an experience, but number two, what is a day like for you there? Because it's not a challenge every day.

9:40 Drew I have a question. That's a good question, but one brief one before you get down to that. The difference between a cyclone and a hurricane. You mentioned a cyclone came through there.

9:49 Adam I think cyclones are hurricanes that take place that hit trailers. Is that what it is?

9:55 Drew No, it's tornadoes. Tornadoes are hurricanes.

9:58 Adam But they have cyclone fencing in the Midwest.

10:01 Jeff Probst I have no idea. I only know I got there and they said a cyclone came through here.

10:06 Drew Are you in the-

10:07 Adam I think a cyclone may be a twister, Drew.

10:09 Drew Are you in the Southern Hemisphere? Yes. I think cyclones are hurricanes in the Southern Hemisphere.

10:14 Adam Oh, really?

10:15 Drew Yeah, I think maybe. I'll look it up, I'll look it up.

10:17 Adam Please do. Now, so what is a- Take your sweet time, please. What's a day like?

10:21 Drew Here we go.

10:21 Adam No, that's good. But what is, I mean, I'm sure there's something to do most days, but if there's not a challenge and there's not a tribal council-

10:29 Jeff Probst If there's nothing for me to do, I go diving.

10:31 Adam Oh, really?

10:32 Drew Yeah, I'll sit in my room.

10:34 Adam Sleep, awesome. So you don't, there's not a bunch of prep for whatever.

10:38 Jeff Probst There's prep, it's, you know-

10:40 Drew No, there isn't.

10:42 Jeff Probst There is prep.

10:43 Adam I get it.

10:43 Jeff Probst No, there is some prep in that you're always prepping the show and the challenges and stuff like that.

10:48 Adam Sure, while you're diving and beating off, you're prepping.

10:51 Jeff Probst Yeah.

10:51 Adam I'm the same way with this show.

10:53 Jeff Probst You know what? This is the first time I have ever downloaded porn directly from an internet site where I didn't bring it with me.

11:00 Adam Oh yeah. But I would travel with a steamer trunk full of porn and I would have like backup and a generator.

11:07 Jeff Probst Next time.

11:08 Adam Yeah, you don't want to get caught out in the wilderness.

11:10 Jeff Probst And our internet connection's so damn slow, I'd have to start it at 8 a.m. and come back at 8 p.m. to get like three minutes.

11:16 Adam Wow, wow. Yeah, well, I mean, it's called Survivor. It's, yeah. I mean, it's, you know. You're living off the land, my friend.

11:24 Jeff Probst But you know-

11:25 Adam Ultimate challenge for me.

11:28 Jeff Probst Well, and this was an island full of not the most attractive locals.

11:33 Adam Well, I saw, we can't judge. All cultures are beautiful. I saw the one guy who was going to- Duh, who was going, this was last week. It was really amazing, by the way, Drew, which was, they survive, you know, they do the reward challenge and it's usually, you know, some blankets or some fishing tackle or hopefully some food or something like that. And this time they win a large black man. And it's like, what are you gonna do with this big black guy? And it's like, he's Duh and he's a native and he knows how to survive off the island. And he'll teach you guys for 24 hours. He'll show you the ways of the land. And I was sort of, I looked at my wife and I was like, ah, fine, please give me a picnic basket. I don't want this dude here. And this guy was amazing, Drew. He showed him, you know, what plants to eat, how to do this. He took bamboo and he whacked it up and he made it into like a bed for like a mattress. I mean, it was crazy.

12:33 Jeff Probst The first thing he did, how he scaled that tree, he walked up a tree like a bat upside down.

12:40 Adam He was hanging down.

12:41 Jeff Probst It really was impressive.

12:42 Adam Toes wrapped around the thing. I swear to Christ.

12:45 Jeff Probst And one other thing he did is he took a coconut, he held it in his palm and he did three quick chops and he chopped the top and he was drinking. And after that challenge was over, we were, the challenge finished and they all left and he was getting ready to go over and be with the women. And I said, hey, show me the rock star move on the-

13:03 Adam Coconut.

13:03 Jeff Probst Coconut. So he hands me, he shows me, he hands me his machete. I take the first hit and slice, slice my hand open. Blood's gushing out. It was a six stitch deal. And it just reminded me how, I mean, how easy that guy made living out there look.

13:19 Adam Barefoot running around, we're running up a tree, Drew, not shimming, just ran over the tree.

13:27 Jeff Probst Adam, though, do you think that when everybody first saw that and this guy comes out, he's wearing basically a loincloth?

13:33 Adam Yeah, it looked like he had a boner, actually, when he first walked out, because it was sticking up. It was like a garage door that got stuck halfway open. Like, hey, Dars got a boner.

13:41 Jeff Probst Doesn't everybody first think...

13:42 Adam I turned to my wife and said, they're going to get raped. All seven of these chicks are getting raped tonight.

13:46 Jeff Probst That's all you're thinking.

13:47 Adam It'll show them the island. Yeah. Put their face right in the island. Hold still.

13:52 Yeah.

13:54 Adam Hey, maybe you get a sand crab while I'm raping you. Whatever.

13:57 Yeah, that's that's the course.

14:00 Adam Was that what you're talking about? The first thing I said, the first thing I said.

14:02 Jeff Probst And they're all like, he's going to the women's tribe. I know.

14:04 Adam And they're like, I mean, and they were crying when he was leaving. They sang him a song, sang him a song like a hymn. It was powerful, Drew. It was very powerful.

14:15 Drew So we did rape them all.

14:16 Adam Yes, evidently did. So a big earthquake tomorrow night and a volcano going off and just now, are you there for how many more days than the 31, 32 days?

14:31 Jeff Probst About five or six.

14:33 Adam About five or six.

14:34 Jeff Probst As little as possible.

14:35 Adam Right. So it's really, you know, month and a week for you, Tops.

14:40 Jeff Probst Yeah, about six weeks. Yeah.

14:42 Adam And going in and it's an improv. I mean, it's not scripted, obviously, and there's homework to do, but when the things, tribal council's going or the challenge is going on, I mean, you don't need a teleprompter, you don't need any cards or anything. It's a great gig, right?

15:02 Jeff Probst It's a great gig. Drew's right. There really isn't much prep you can do. You can just, you can think through some things, but I've thought through them enough. You know, I got a pretty good idea and I'm involved in casting. So I know these guys, Yeah.

15:14 Drew Right.

15:14 Jeff Probst What their personalities are like.

15:15 Drew Most of the procedural stuff that you have got just completely greased. Yeah.

15:21 Adam And how many?

15:21 Drew The council and stuff. You can do that in your sleep now. So it's just, it's actually.

15:26 Adam Yeah. Well, I was gonna say.

15:28 Drew Living around that a little bit, just making it more fun.

15:31 Adam Yeah. It would be nice to have a comedic voice on the show. You know, season 10, new sidekick.

15:41 Drew No calls tonight. There can be no calls. You are not to take any calls.

15:45 Adam Oh, really? Really?

15:46 Drew No calls.

15:47 Adam You think you can tell me what to do from 3,000 miles away?

15:50 Drew I do not want you to take any calls.

15:52 Adam Well, how about I go to the phones right now? Okay, smart guy.

15:56 Jeff Probst You just earned yourself a call.

15:58 Drew No.

15:58 Jeff Probst Yeah, you earned yourself a call.

16:00 Shana, 15?

16:01 Adam Oh, you're on the, you're on Loveline now. How do you like me now, Drew?

16:07 Drew I'm so mad at you. I'm so mad.

16:08 Adam Yeah, you want me to take another call? Keep talking.

16:12 Drew No.

16:12 Adam Keep talking, big man. Shana. Oh, man. You tried this last night. I was talking about high school football for like 15 minutes and he was really into it. And so he was so into it that he was like, even though he'd heard the story a lot, he was like, I want to hear the rest of the story, so don't take any phone calls. I was like, don't tell me what to do. You don't tell me what to do. I'm going with phones.

16:32 Jeff Probst We know who's in charge.

16:33 Adam Yeah, absolutely.

16:36 Drew Do not talk to Shana. Do not talk to Shana.

16:38 Adam Shana? Yes. All right, Drew, any questions? Yeah, the hefe is in charge here. I'm the Jeff Probst of this island. Do you understand? All right, go ahead, Shana.

17:05 And they're going to be auctioning off the girls for dates. And I was wondering if I should participate in that or not.

17:20 Adam Hold on, Drew, tell me not to go to another call.

17:23 Drew Don't go to another call, do not do it. This is too exciting, do not do it.

17:28 Adam Now I'm confused. Oh yeah, I may, I'm gonna. I think I confused myself.

17:33 Drew Is there anything awful about being auctioned off? Are these being auctioned to, you know, ex-convicts?

17:40 Adam White slavery or da or who's gonna get ya?

17:44 I got a two, got a bit now, three now, three, getting me four, I got a three, four, you know, but now four, now four, what you gonna do, five, five, but now five, five, five, five.

17:51 Adam Who are you getting auctioned to and what do you have to do for them?

17:54 Well, it's just not just guys that can buy you, it's also girls and it's not like, I mean, I'm okay with both sides, but it's just, I'm afraid of it going too far.

18:07 Drew Is the school sponsoring this or it's just some?

18:13 Having a party.

18:14 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no.

18:15 Jeff Probst All right, there's a little more to this auction than Sean is saying.

18:18 Drew No, no, yeah, yeah.

18:19 Adam Well, I don't understand. Is this, did they do it in years past?

18:25 Drew I don't know, it's- No, it's a friend's idea for a good party, Adam.

18:32 Adam Look, is there money involved? Okay, well, that's just called prostitution.

18:41 Drew Yeah, let's just be clear about this.

18:43 Adam All right, Sean, you sound confused. What's the matter, baby doll?

18:48 Drew Why are you so upset?

18:48 Adam Yeah, what's going on?

18:52 Drew Hello, Sean.

18:52 Adam Drew, tell me not to take another call.

18:55 Jeff Probst Don't do it, don't do it. Sean, is this the kind of party where you think you're gonna end up in a corner, so to speak, with a guy that you may or may not like and feel compelled to do something?

19:08 Drew Don't put yourself in that situation. Very sorry.

19:10 Adam Boy, really? There's like a 15 Mississippi count.

19:12 Drew Do not take another call. That's the last call of the night.

19:16 Adam Don't go, Sean. Because I was gonna talk to Jeff, but now that Drew says don't take another call, I might just take another call. How about that, Drew?

19:28 Drew No.

19:28 Adam Well, do you think you can stop me? You think you're the boss of me?

19:31 Drew No. Yeah.

19:32 Adam I don't think so. Sarah, 28. What's happening? Good. How are you doing?

19:39 Good. So basically the situation is this. I found a tape in my ex-boyfriend's VCR of me sleeping. Ooh.

19:50 Adam Are you naked?

19:52 Yeah.

19:54 Adam Sleeping with him?

19:56 Well, I always sleep naked, so there's nothing unusual about that.

19:59 Drew Wait, you were just asleep or you were having sex with him?

20:02 Totally asleep. No sex, nothing.

20:06 Drew Did you bring this up with him?

20:09 Well, I found the tape today and I called him earlier this afternoon and I was like, so I found this tape and he's like, yeah. And he didn't know what I was talking about initially and I had to keep probing. And then he was just kind of like, oh yeah, I think I know what you're talking about. It was very weird. And-

20:32 Adam Well, were you on your belly or on your back? Makes a difference. What's that?

20:39 On my back.

20:41 Adam On your back. How hot is it in your house, by the way? Just totally naked, just, you know, legs akimbo, just sprawled out like, like you had a stroke.

20:50 Well, the tape starts out with me, like with the covers kind of on. And then-

20:54 Adam Oh, he pulled them off.

20:56 No, it's me, like, kind of like kicking around and kicking the covers around. And yeah.

21:02 Adam Is there light on? Is there light?

21:04 Jeff Probst Is this available for me to take on the location?

21:07 Adam Yeah. It's sometimes, you know how long it takes to download porn when you're on like Gazanu Mahu?

21:14 Yeah, I heard all about that.

21:15 Adam And yeah, Sarah, did he turn the lights on or anything?

21:19 No, it looks like it's like a like the infrared thing that you can get on video cameras now.

21:25 Adam All right. So you this is very intrusive. It's kind of weird. It's a little creepy.

21:30 It's really creepy. And it made me really like nervous about, well, are there other tapes? Like, he told me it was the only time he had ever done it.

21:39 Drew But how long have you been with this guy? Well, we broke up because of this.

21:46 No, we broke up like four years ago. We stayed like really good friends. We've been thinking about getting back together. And I found this tape today and I'm like, you know, we're living together right now because I just got back into town.

22:02 Adam Her line's horrible. So I'm putting her on hold. But now you broke up. When does getting back together with someone ever work? It just never does. It never does, especially when you're, you know, you break up that it really doesn't. It really doesn't because there's a reason why you broke up in the first place. And that's what you needed to listen to. And the reason you got back together is because things didn't work out. So it's not because the other person got better or more attractive or settled down or you got any better or more attractive. It's just you didn't get laid for a few months and now you're slinking back to the ex. You know, it doesn't it doesn't work.

22:40 Drew I disagree with that. That's usually the way it is, but sometimes it's not that simple.

22:44 Adam No, no. What happened, Drew?

22:47 Drew My wife and I broke up for a period of time and it was because of me.

22:50 Adam Well, yeah, you weren't done banging candy strikers.

22:53 Drew I kind of settled down and kind of figured things out as I went along.

22:56 Adam Yeah. Let me let me let me translate. He he got syphilis from his last candy striper and he really was gut check time. A little soul searching and then he got his wife pregnant and then had to get married. That's that's what happened.

23:10 Drew I really kind of wasn't I wasn't really interested in getting back together, but it kind of just seemed felt right. And we kind of going to get along. Have a good time. It's just not right.

23:19 Jeff Probst Yeah.

23:20 Drew You don't go seeking each other again, but sometimes circumstances bring you back together and you think, oh, my God, I missed this.

23:26 Jeff Probst Here's the thing, though, even looking at her thing on the screen, made made a secret videotape of her sleeping. Can she trust him? Every time you ask yourself that question, you already know the answer.

23:37 Adam And we talked to tons of people that are like, I think my boyfriend's cheating, but I'm just not sure or vice versa. And it's like, how can you be with someone you don't know if they're cheating? I mean, if you have to ask that question, I agree with Jeff. You're in the wrong relationship. It doesn't mean they're cheating because you have to ask yourself that question. It just means things aren't going the way they should be or something's up with you. Jeff Probst, here tonight. Yes, from The Great Survivor. I see no end, no end in sight for this survivor. It's impossible. How could it end? I don't know. As many locations as there are, as many crazy, great looking people as there are willing to do this, as long as you don't get like gored by a yak. And well, I could always get, you know, I step in. Whatever. We would we would do something very tasteful the very first episode. I'm picturing like a wreath like floating in the ocean and some somber music and then me going, we can't live in the past. Let's move on. Jeff would have wanted us to move forward.

24:44 Jeff Probst I like that. I like that you would think of me.

24:46 Adam Yeah, I would definitely. The first episode would be to be very, very touching and then immunity challenge. Let's go. That's the way he would have wanted it. All right, Jeff is here. We'll take a little break. Drew in New York City and we'll be right back after this.

25:18 Drew Yeah, it's Loveline. Adam Carolla.

25:22 Adam Drew, you there?

25:23 Drew Yeah, I'm here.

25:24 Adam Now, are you there? We on now? I don't know.

25:32 Drew I believe you are.

25:32 Adam I heard Drew talking.

25:33 Drew I did the intro.

25:34 Adam Michelle, you may wanna push a button or slide some.

25:38 Drew Hey, everybody. I'm just crying out for you, Adam. Adam, Adam.

25:41 Adam Drew, can you hear me?

25:42 Drew I hear you, you hear me?

25:43 Adam Now. Anderson, can you hear me? Now.

25:46 Jeff Probst I'll be Drew.

25:48 Drew Can you hear Adam?

25:48 Jeff Probst Don't take a call.

25:50 Don't take a call.

25:52 Adam Oh, it was.

25:53 Jeff Probst All right, well, I don't wanna take a call.

25:55 Adam No, nobody tells me.

25:57 Drew No calls.

25:58 Jeff Probst Cyclone is a hurricane in the Southern Hemisphere. Jeff didn't know that.

26:01 Drew I can't hear Jeff. You know what, I looked up cyclone though, and I got a couple.

26:04 Adam All right, are we starting the show?

26:06 Drew Can people hear me? Adam?

26:10 Adam Now, I hear a commercial.

26:13 Drew This is cool. This is good, this is good. Do you really hear a commercial? Do you hear me?

26:17 Adam Uh-uh. All right, Drew, take a call. I'm gonna push William.

26:22 Drew You hear me?

26:23 Adam See what he does. Drew, you hear me, right? William?

26:25 Drew I hear Anderson.

26:26 Adam Now, Drew, we got technical problems over here in a big way.

26:31 Drew Do you hear me? Yep.

26:34 Adam Yeah, I can barely, I can barely hear you. I can't hear you through my headphones.

26:38 Drew Something is wrong.

26:38 Adam My hands, we like to call them in the business. I can't hear it through some speaker. I get the feeling that the engineer Michelle might be able to fix this if she dumped enough coffee on one of the potentiometers over there.

26:51 Adam, I think you complained enough. We're trying to just get new phone lines, man.

26:56 Adam William?

26:57 Yeah.

26:58 Adam There we go. What happened?

27:00 Drew I don't know.

27:01 Adam Yeah. Hey, all right, so let me just reset.

27:04 Jeff Probst God, Michelle was sweating over there, man.

27:06 Adam Drew, you cool?

27:07 Drew I can hear me.

27:08 Adam I can hear you now.

27:09 Drew All right.

27:10 Adam All right, here's the deal. Jeff Probst here from Survivor, my favorite show. And it is Thursday nights on CBS at eight o'clock. And let's get back the phone. So we got William, who's 16. Although I just punched him randomly. I didn't really want to talk to William. Who else do we want to talk to? Ooh, here's Jenny. She has a kid with a 40 year old guy, engaged to another girl. He's engaged to another girl? Jenny? You're 28? What's up?

27:43 Caller We were kind of seeing each other and he didn't really make an effort to make it known that he likes me. So I kind of like, went about my business.

27:54 Adam Well, wait a minute.

27:55 Drew Already I'm lost.

27:57 Adam You had a child two years ago?

27:59 Caller Yes.

28:01 Drew With him?

28:01 Adam With this guy?

28:03 Caller With him, not knowing that it was his.

28:08 Jeff Probst Whose did you think it was?

28:09 Caller This other guy that I was, the beginning of March, I was seeing somebody and I was trying to break it off with him. And the end of March, I seen this other guy.

28:24 Adam All right. So, so now what?

28:26 Caller Well, my question is, now he knows that he's the father.

28:30 Drew How did you find out he's the father?

28:32 Caller We went for a DNA test.

28:34 Drew Okay.

28:34 Adam All right.

28:37 Caller He's coming over to see his son next week. My question is, do I let him know how I feel? How do you feel? I like him, but I don't want a single...

28:56 Adam Hold on a second. Is it Quaalude Night? Everyone we spoke to tonight is just bad calls, bad lines. Just people with serious, like three Mississippi in between every goddamn syllable.

29:10 Drew I told you not to take any calls.

29:12 Jeff Probst He did say that.

29:16 Adam You think you can tell me what to do, Drew?

29:18 Drew I'm just saying, don't take any calls.

29:20 Adam You don't think I'm the captain of the ship?

29:22 Drew Yeah, I'm just saying, I predicted that one.

29:25 Adam There you go. Now you got another call. You got another call. You want to keep going? You want a fourth call? Jenny?

29:30 Drew Yes.

29:30 Adam All right, let's pace it up, baby. Let's go. Let's break it down. It's only a two hour show. You got a kid. Your kid's how old? Two. And the guy's coming over, he's 40.

29:41 Caller Right.

29:42 Adam And you guys broke up in the first place because of why?

29:45 Caller Well, he didn't make it known that he was interested in me. So I didn't.

29:49 Drew Look, you didn't have a relationship. You just slept together.

29:51 Adam You just slept together. And is he single now?

29:56 Drew And he has no idea he has a kid with you?

29:58 Caller He knows.

29:59 Drew He knows.

29:59 Caller He knows he's coming over.

30:00 Drew Now what's he gonna do?

30:01 Adam Yeah, that DNA test. He's gonna come over and kick the kid's tie.

30:04 Jeff Probst Come on, Drew, catch up.

30:05 Adam Let's go, buddy. You're right. Let's focus. So here's the thing. He's engaged. So I don't know what you letting him know how you feel is gonna do when he's engaged to another woman.

30:15 Drew What's he coming over for?

30:21 Caller But we met last month, and he told me that he really loves kids, and he really didn't wanna have a child this way, and he's confused, and he doesn't know what to do, and he really liked me.

30:34 Adam Well, he really liked you as a friend. I mean, and he's engaged.

30:40 Drew Right.

30:40 Adam All right, so Jenny, yes, here's the deal. You're feeling lonely and vulnerable and all the above. This guy's engaged to another woman. He's confused, he's caught off guard. He doesn't even know he has a kid. He's gonna come over there and say hi to the kid. It's just kind of between him and the kid, not really him and you. You guys were one night stand.

30:59 Drew I'm not sure he should really have. I mean, unless this guy's gonna be in his life big time, to have a part-time father is gonna be extremely destructive to this kid.

31:07 Adam Well, how about some money?

31:08 Drew Yeah, he has a financial responsibility, but it might be better to sort of create some sort of fantasy about who his dad was.

31:16 Jeff Probst Are you doing this for the kid, or are you hoping that you can get him over there?

31:20 Drew Of course, that's what she's doing.

31:22 Caller I'm doing this for the kid, too.

31:24 Drew No, please.

31:25 Adam When she says the kid, she means herself. Like, you know, when I say, hey, the kid really had a great radio show tonight. Am I right, brother? The kid's hot, the kid's hot, am I right? That's what they mean when I say the kid. Jenny, you need, here's what you need to do. You need to make sure you get money from this guy. And then I think you need to let him get engaged and get married and you to find another man and create a stable home for the kid, who's me.

31:53 Drew Which is unlikely.

31:56 Adam Boy. What's going on? What else is going on? You just confused and depressed? All right, I don't got enough time. Here's what I gave her the speech about picking up the pace. Here's what she needs to do. Or I don't know. It doesn't seem like Jenny's gonna be the world's greatest mom. Oh no. I'm worried about the kid. Okay, so here are the priorities. No more kids. And see if you can get in a stable, realistic relationship with an available guy who can then be there for the kid.

32:30 Drew None of the guys you're obsessing about. Just somebody you can create a stable, boring life with.

32:34 Adam That's right. Write it out and hopefully you'll be taken early.

32:38 Jeff Probst Here, I got one for you.

32:39 Adam What?

32:39 Jeff Probst Speaking to the kid, name this band. The Kid is Hot Tonight.

32:43 Adam Oh, that'd be a little lover boy. I've done that song in karaoke form like 700 times. I did that song. So I'm such a bad karaoke singer that we used to have big karaoke parties over at Kimmel's house. And I would do The Kid is Hot Tonight or Hell is for Children by Pat Benatar, which is really not a dry eye in the house. And one night, it would be one of these things where we'd be eating dinner, having a few drinks, send the kids to bed about 10 o'clock and then the karaoke would start up. In the middle of Hell is for Children, Jimmy's daughter, Katie, was probably about nine at the time, came down the stairs crying, make him stop, daddy.

33:25 Stop.

33:26 It's like tearing.

33:28 Adam You know kids get like frustrated and they're young and they just had a bad dream about someone, probably some guy with a megaphone yelling at him or something, literally bawling her eyes out as she came down the stairs yelling, make him stop. No decorum. No decorum.

33:44 Drew This is why you don't come around my house.

33:46 Adam Yeah. Oh, Drew, I came around your house. The kids were naked.

33:49 Jeff Probst Oh, there were two of them.

33:51 Adam Really? They were two, but they were still naked.

33:54 Drew Jumping off the-

33:56 Adam And jumping off the furniture. I was worried that they were gonna get hurt. Drew had turned his back to the children, didn't seem to care about their welfare. I was very distracting. I could barely eat. So I just sort of swore off the visits.

34:08 Jeff Probst When is it okay, not okay to be naked anymore?

34:12 Adam I mean, what ages? Yeah, Drew, what is the age where you gotta put some underoos on?

34:17 Drew Well, you put it on, two is when they're throwing it off, but around eight to 10, they suddenly get incredibly modest.

34:23 Adam Yeah, so it's gotta go on again.

34:25 Drew Oh, mine's like, I'm in the bathroom, keep the door locked.

34:29 Adam How scary are you? Okay, so that's good, right? Yeah, but then what about swimming? Cause you know, they'll hit the pool up until about 10 naked, right? No, maybe, maybe about seven.

34:42 Drew Yeah, no, it really, the stuff really, it comes on smart.

34:46 Adam Yeah, but what age?

34:47 Drew Five to seven in there.

34:48 Adam All right, so that's when I head in and grab a beer, cause it shows up.

34:53 Jeff Probst Until you're 25, until you're 25 and then clothes start coming off.

34:56 Adam And it comes off again. All right, let's, we got a question for Jeff, by the way, one I'm sure he's never heard before. Someone wants to know what your favorite and least favorite, oh, wait a minute. Who is your favorite and least favorite rock and roll Jeopardy celeb? Oh, I thought it was a survivor question. Who was your, a lot of people don't know that Jeff hosted a rock and roll Jeopardy.

35:20 Jeff Probst Yes, for VH1. There were some good people on there. Mark McGrath was always a fun guest. And he's bright, I mean, he did so well.

35:30 Drew The rare rock star who went to college.

35:32 Adam Yeah, yeah.

35:33 Jeff Probst Now he's extra, he's extra.

35:35 Adam He's on extra.

35:36 Jeff Probst How fun is that?

35:37 Adam He was great. He was like the grand champion on the show, right?

35:40 Jeff Probst He never lost. And you know who else was really funny was Joe Walsh because the idea of taking Joe Walsh and putting him in a game in which he not only has to read a question, but then tell his brain to push a button that will light up a thing, never gonna happen. And after the first commercial, he had nothing. I don't think he had even woken up.

35:59 Adam No, I mean, that was like a Saturday Night Live sketch, Joe Walsh on that show. It was like Sean Connery on the Saturday Night Live version of Jeopardy. Like he cannot form a sentence, right?

36:13 Jeff Probst And he said, he goes, yeah, there's just a whole 10-year period there I don't remember. And you knew he was serious.

36:20 Adam Right.

36:21 Jeff Probst It was a decade lost.

36:22 Adam Right.

36:23 Jeff Probst Least favorite was the guy from, You know what's scary?

36:29 Adam Chumbawamba, Poison.

36:31 Jeff Probst No, the guitar player.

36:32 Adam Oh, oh, oh, DeVille.

36:35 Jeff Probst Yes.

36:35 Adam Yeah.

36:37 Jeff Probst Drove me.

36:38 Adam We got Cece DeVille, yeah.

36:40 Jeff Probst He wouldn't shut up and he had this voice like this he thought was so charming.

36:45 Adam Right, super, super like-

36:46 Jeff Probst Just shut it.

36:47 Adam Brooklyn-y, kind of just crazy voice and obnoxious, right? I think he's been on this show. All right, so that's your least favorite. Yeah, who is this? Hey, Hans, what's happening?

37:01 Not too much, man. Thank you for answering my question. And I had another one for Dr. Drew and for your guest. Do you make any kind of allowances for people that are on medication if they're on Survivor? Like if they have some kind of like blood pressure medication or something?

37:18 Drew No. They're about to take that? They're probably gonna be ruled out of the show though, right? Yeah.

37:23 Jeff Probst If you smoke, you better get on Nicorette soon. If you're a drinker, you're gonna dry up. There's no help. You get condoms, tampons, and sunscreen.

37:35 Adam Oh, you get condoms.

37:37 Drew Yeah.

37:39 Adam Well, I don't think we talked about that last time you were here. That's interesting.

37:43 Drew That is interesting.

37:45 Adam Is that just a decency thing or an insurance thing or what?

37:48 Drew They kind of wanna have these people having sex, right? That's sort of part of the interest.

37:52 Jeff Probst Yeah, I don't think anybody's ever had full on sex, but I think it's a little bit of both. I think it's a liability issue, too.

37:59 Adam I saw the Rupert 69 episode. That was tough to watch, Drew. Did you ever see that? Oh yeah, him and, yeah, he was on top of Johnny Fair Play and it was almost unwatchable.

38:13 Jeff Probst What is this?

38:15 Adam You're probably back at camp, beating off or downloading some porn or doing some spearfishing or something, but you gotta watch the show once in a while. It was controversial.

38:23 Jeff Probst I don't remember this.

38:24 Adam Very controversial. Yeah, big Rupert on top of Johnny Fair Play. Yeah.

38:30 Jeff Probst Nice.

38:30 Adam I love Johnny Fair Play.

38:31 Jeff Probst Yeah, he's great.

38:33 Adam I don't know where the hell he is now, but I miss it.

38:35 Jeff Probst That guy is a classic jackass. He is absolutely what he appears to be. You wanna punch him.

38:40 Adam Yeah.

38:41 Jeff Probst But you want him to get back up because you wanna talk to him some more.

38:44 Adam And then hit him again. And then punch him. Yeah. Yeah, and what about, how often by the way for something like the All Stars? I mean, I think it worked incredibly well and people were into it in a big way, right?

38:57 Jeff Probst I guess.

38:58 Adam You don't like it?

38:59 Jeff Probst I didn't like it.

39:00 Adam Not pure?

39:00 Jeff Probst I just don't think you can play the game with all that personal baggage. These guys now know each other and guys like Hatch or Colby, those guys have no chance because people are irritated that they were so popular.

39:11 Adam Right.

39:12 Jeff Probst Rupert would be the first one voted out in the next All Star.

39:14 Adam You think so? Yeah.

39:15 Jeff Probst Oh, there's so much envy about Rupert right now.

39:18 Adam Really? Interesting.

39:19 Jeff Probst Oh, you're America's favorite.

39:20 Adam Oh, interesting. So you're gone. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that. On the other hand, it's really fun. It's to watch a game like, it's like your team when you know your players, you know? And it was really, it was really a good idea. And I don't think you would do two in a row and I don't think you'd do one every other year, but certainly four or five years from now, you could pop another one out.

39:45 Jeff Probst I really think we'll be on four or five years from now.

39:46 Adam The show, barring, you know, is something horrific and a lawsuit. I don't see it ever going away. It's almost, it's like.

39:56 Drew I don't see that not happening.

39:58 Adam Oh, that's, yeah, yeah, no, no, that's, that's probably this year, but Jeff's not saying anything. But I, it's like a game show and that it's a great format. And as long as you have a solid host in yourself and a solid format in terms of the rules and how the show's structured, who, they're always gonna have hardcore fans. I just can't imagine it ever going away. At least, maybe I'm saying that for selfish reasons because I enjoy it so much. All right, Jeff Probst is in studio tonight. Drew.

40:28 Drew Yeah.

40:29 Adam Have you ever heard me kiss this kind of ass?

40:31 Drew I'm really, I'm amazed, amazed.

40:35 Adam Jeff. Thank you.

40:35 Drew Sir, yeah. Who is it?

40:38 Adam Drew, tell me to stop kissing ass.

40:43 Drew Uh, yeah, yeah, stop kissing ass Adam.

40:46 Adam No, no, not gonna happen.

40:48 Drew No, don't stop kissing ass. No, don't, don't stop.

40:50 Adam You keep it up.

40:51 Drew Oh yeah?

40:52 Adam Oh yeah? Well, now I'm confused, you idiot. I'm just gonna kiss ass to play it safe. All right, Jeff, loosen up the belt. We're gonna take a break.

40:59 Okay.

41:00 Adam Drew and New York, we'll be right back after this. What are women most attracted to?

41:10 Confident guys.

41:11 Adam That's right, you can't buy that confidence. At least you couldn't until now.

41:15 Drew What do we got?

41:16 Adam You got Axe, Deodorant, Body Spray. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew out in New York. Drew, you're back tomorrow night, yes?

41:36 Drew Yes.

41:37 Adam Jeff Probst in studio tonight. Best gig on television.

41:44 Jeff Probst Next to this one.

41:45 Adam Next to this one. This one's not on TV. But yeah, this is a great gig. Sarah Rue, who is, well, you know, her from barely making a, what the hell is that show called? Well, yeah, Less Than Perfect. Sarah Rue, sounds like a snack cake. Sweet as sugar, that girl. She's gonna be in here tomorrow night. And Jeff in here tonight, Survivor, eight o'clock, Thursday night. I will be watching tomorrow night, seeing the big earthquake. And what else is coming up? You can't give away too much, but you did drop some nice little tidbits last time you were in here. I think you talked about the shark. You talked about the shark a little bit. I think you talked about something coming up. I think it was like three episodes from where we were. And I remember, you know, anticipating that. Any monumental stuff coming up? Any tips, anything?

42:37 Jeff Probst Not really. You know, it's funny because last season there was a lot of promotable stuff, just big things you could promote. Right. There wasn't this season. It's a really good season though. It's the best time I've had out there just personally, because I like these guys so much. I just like the group a lot. And in typical Survivor form, it gets, you can't help but get dicey, you know? Right. By week six, seven, you know, it's starting to heat up and it's a great finish. It's one of the best final tribal councils I think we've had since season one or two. Oh really? Yeah, where everybody that got up had something interesting to say or ask. They delivered it well. We got a good response from the final two. And it felt like we don't know who's gonna win. You better have an answer, because I'm telling you right now, I'm gonna vote for one of you two. Because so many times the final tribal feels like, oh, it's just, come on. Right.

43:30 Adam Well a lot of it, sometimes it's just sour grapes where people are, you know, Drew, you would, you'd love it because I know you hate people in the human condition, ironically. But, you know, people angry at people for playing the game, essentially.

43:43 Jeff Probst Which drives me nuts.

43:45 Adam And I was like this guy too, the guy's napping on the beach all day and he's pissed off at the guy who was collecting firewood because he's a kiss ass.

43:52 Jeff Probst He's making me look bad.

43:53 Adam Yeah, like, well, which is it? Yeah, I mean, you're napping all day. Give us a break. So again, my favorite show. I just adore the show. And now who comes up, and I don't know how much, because you gotta start running out of obstacle courses and games and all this crazy stuff you're doing. Who comes up with that stuff?

44:14 Jeff Probst Well, there's a department. I mean, there's two guys in particular, John Kerhoffer and Dan Munday, and they're the challenge producers. And that's their job, is to go surf or go, you know, and say, hey, what about, you know.

44:26 Adam Now you do, you gotta be, you have to be baked to come up with these kinds of things.

44:30 Jeff Probst And they're good, not only do you have to, first you have to conceptually come up with them, then somebody has to be able to sketch how you're gonna build these, and then somebody has to build them. You know, you think of some of the things that have been created out there. We have a maze this season that is a vertical maze. And the way it came about was John, the head challenge guy said, I don't wanna do a maze. We've done a maze six seasons, seven seasons in a row. I don't wanna do another maze where we have cameras and we look. And so Monday started thinking, and he said, what if I just invert it and I make it go straight up? A maze that's a vertical maze. And it's like a, it's really cool mousetrap.

45:04 Adam Right, and you're actually climbing and doing it?

45:07 Jeff Probst And it took, I think it took a month to build. It is really cool.

45:13 Adam Yeah, and it's all, it's not only is it built, but it's sort of Disneyland built. It looks, it doesn't, it doesn't, it's not a bunch of plywood from Home Depot. It looks like a shipwreck.

45:22 Jeff Probst Yep.

45:22 Adam Hey, yes Drew.

45:23 Drew You need to kiss more ass and take fewer calls, okay? No calls, kiss ass.

45:28 Adam Oh, okay, well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do then.

45:32 Jeff Probst Do it, do it.

45:32 Adam Bro, not gonna kiss his ass. And you know what? Going to the phones, Drew. Any other suggestions?

45:38 Caller Anything else?

45:38 Adam What do you want me to do? Not punch myself in the head? Say the word, I won't punch myself in the head. I just hit myself in the head.

45:46 Caller You did it.

45:46 Adam I whacked myself in the head. You want me to not hit myself again?

45:50 Drew Don't do it.

45:51 Adam There you go. Now who's got brain damage?

45:54 Drew All right.

45:55 Adam Where am I going? I'm taking a call.

45:56 Drew You're not taking calls.

45:58 Adam James. Yes. Your penis is discolored.

46:02 Yes, I was circumcised in March.

46:04 Adam Uh-huh.

46:05 And I went in for like the follow-up treatment and it was discolored and my doctor's like, oh, don't worry about it. And a month later, it was still discolored.

46:14 Drew Yeah, are you a dark skinned person?

46:16 No, I'm white.

46:17 Adam What happened, wait a minute, why'd you get circumcised in March?

46:21 Well, I was, I like was having infections and stuff, so I just wanted to-

46:24 Drew He was planning it for May, Adam, but they moved it up a couple ways.

46:27 Adam Yeah, all right, all right, so-

46:29 Drew But here's the deal, when you have irritation of the skin, it can either hyperpigment or depigment pigment. And the penis at the circumcision site, or like, you don't notice guys can get a circumferential sort of brown spot around their penis, that's from circumcision, it's not uncommon at all.

46:43 Adam What do they call it?

46:45 Drew It's a pigmentation or depigmentation.

46:47 Adam Yeah, but you called it something.

46:48 Drew Circumferential, it goes all the way around.

46:51 Adam Circumferential.

46:51 Jeff Probst No, but you said something else, you can get a brown spot called a...

46:54 Adam Yeah, I think you said circumferential.

46:57 Drew Oh. I like that. Depigmenting or hyperpigmenting, so.

47:01 Jeff Probst But can we just settle something for any moms or potential moms listening?

47:05 Adam Well, hold on a second, because we gotta take a break. I think I know what you're gonna ask. But we will, I think it's gonna be a question about should you have your son circumcised or not.

47:14 Jeff Probst You should.

47:15 Adam Well, hold on, hold on, Drew's with ya. Drew's firmly in the Lop-Off Camp. It's like a horrible Russian camp, doesn't it? The Lop-Off Camp. We'll take a quick break.

47:27 Jeff Probst I will cut y'all to penis. Don't shut up.

47:30 Adam That's Jeff Probst. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

47:33 Laughing time is over.

47:34 Caller All right, guys, bottom line, here's the deal.

47:38 Sick of wasting time with the wrong person. One call's all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

47:42 877-889-DATE.

47:48 Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

47:50 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back.

48:08 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline of Adam. That's Dr. Drew in New York. We'll be back in studio tomorrow night with our guest Sarah Rue from Less Than Perfect. Jeff Probst in here tonight from the fabulous, wonderful Survivor, Thursday Nights, eight o'clock on CBS. I don't care. I'm a huge fan. Yeah, that's right, kissing and licking. When we left off, Jeff had a question for Dr. Drew, which was circumcision or not.

48:37 Drew Yeah, it's sort of why not circumcision is really the question, because there are significant, there are some health advantages. You don't have to get the stenosis and irritation that can occur later from tearing, from the foreskin not sort of working the way it's supposed to, which happens rather commonly. The theory is that you'd be less at risk of genital warts and thereby less at risk of transmitting that to women and putting them at risk for cervical cancer. So all things being equal, circumcision, and they do it now with anesthetics so the baby doesn't feel anything.

49:11 Adam The number one thing is the weird out the high school chick factor.

49:14 Jeff Probst Exactly.

49:15 Adam Chicks just get weird on that stuff.

49:18 Jeff Probst That's what I'm talking about. There's not a decision. Make your kid look like 99% of all the other kids look.

49:24 Adam Yeah.

49:24 Drew Well, that's the whole thing.

49:25 Adam It's not, yeah. Well, where's your kid growing up?

49:28 Drew Right, I understand, I understand. We could change it in this country, but the point is that the prevailing wisdom is that it should be done and why not?

49:37 Adam Let me say this, this whole thing, it was like the metric system a few years back. It was like, I remember in the 70s, it was like, hey, in five years, it's metric everything. It's gonna be liters, it's gonna be millimeters. That's all it's gonna be. And if you don't know it, you'll get left behind. I remember the, I always remember the teacher, teacher's threatening, you're gonna get left behind and I always thought, I like being left behind. I'm sitting in the back of the class for a reason. I'd like you all, let's leave right now, just stay here. Please leave me behind, it's a fantasy of mine. Everyone just, just get up and leave. I'm gonna stay here, I'm watching. Now with TiVo, I really wanna be left behind.

50:15 Caller But you're gonna.

50:17 Drew I'd be angry if I didn't get circumcised and then in my adult life start having problems with tearing of the foreskin and stenosis, and now I gotta take a month off and be on my back with my penis in pain.

50:28 Adam You're not taking a, what, you think you're in traction? Injection?

50:32 Drew I'm just saying, injection, yeah.

50:33 Adam Taking a month off.

50:36 Drew The point is, the point is-

50:37 Adam IV's hooked up to you.

50:39 Drew It can be pretty miserable.

50:39 Adam You're using a stroke cane for the rest of your life. You have to get around with one of those larks. Yeah.

50:44 Drew It can be pretty uncomfortable and unnecessary. So what the-

50:47 Adam Yeah, it's the weird out, the high school chick factor. I agree with Jeff. You don't wanna do anything that can soil that deal. Nothing, you want nothing that can screw it up. And then, so I was saying that everyone thought, well, everyone is gonna be on the metric system and no one's gonna be circumcised. And it's just, we told those Europeans to kiss our American ass. We really did.

51:11 Jeff Probst And there's a small little group of boys right now that are gonna have to, 21, like this guy.

51:16 Adam They're like, the small little group's gonna have to move to Europe. They're like, the guy cut four millimeters off the end of my penis and I was like, huh? That's my, oh no, I gotta move back. I gotta move back to Europe. It really is, it's, I really do think it's like us telling the Europeans to blow us. It really is. You learn the metric system, cut your, leave your foreskin, we'll do none of, we'll do none of the above. Thank you, Frenchie.

51:41 Drew So we will mark our society by making sure all the males don't have a foreskin.

51:45 Adam We love inches and we hate our foreskins. That's really, that's really what you can say about this country. All right. So the idea is, do it because it couldn't hoit, as they say. And also all you, of all the guys that are in the, like restore the foreskin groups, you know, the ones that are like suing their parents and using like medical tape to stretch what little left they have. And are basically walking around feeling like they're Vietnam vets who got a leg blown off and denying, please, you guys have deep psychological issues.

52:20 Jeff Probst Put them in a room with Cece DeVille.

52:21 Adam That's right.

52:22 Jeff Probst They all belong together.

52:23 Drew That's right. I've just conceived of a new aphorism. Hound and pre-pews, pure American.

52:31 Adam That's right. That's right, Drew, except I'm the only one who knows what pre-pews is. You gotta do better. You gotta do something that's a little more accessible. Yeah.

52:40 Drew See Drew? I saved my dime for scale. No, no, my dime for scale dropped. Anderson's got it from last night.

52:47 Adam Send me a picture of your hymen with a current newspaper, with the date on the newspaper visible once a month.

52:56 Drew And a dime for scale.

53:00 Adam That's true. Drew made a joke.

53:03 Drew That's funny.

53:03 Adam Do you understand? Drew makes a joke about as often as the socks win the World Series. Oh, it really does. I was saying to a 15 year old girl sounded like just albino white trash that she was gonna get pregnant in the day after tomorrow. And she said she was a virgin. And I said, I'm gonna need you to take a picture of your hymen with the current newspaper at once a month so I can confirm it. Confirm it. And Drew said in a dime for scale, which is bizarre, but funny, Drew. Very funny. And then we did talk about how much we love when things are photographed like hearing aids and stuff like that. They always put the, any spy cameras, anything. So it's got a dime sitting next to it. And I just like them to use something else. And I'm not sure what it is. Maybe a Pez dispenser or something else that, small. Well, but see that varies. I need something of uniform size to let me know how small that cell phone really is, but no more change. All right, let's get back to the phones and speak to Megan, who's 20. Megan? You're 20 or bisexual.

54:13 Caller Mm-hmm.

54:14 Adam You're Mormon.

54:15 Drew Uh-uh.

54:19 Caller Well, I'm still struggling with whether or not to go back to church because it's kind of hard to go when you're feeling one way and then the church is screaming another thing at you. Technically, yes, I'm still in the books. I haven't been going.

54:35 Drew 100%, 100% Adam.

54:36 Adam That's a drop of Dr. Drew saying, are you a Mormon?

54:39 Drew You're a Mormon?

54:40 Adam Engineer Anderson plays it works every single time.

54:42 Drew People answer the drop every time.

54:45 Adam Yeah. Yeah, it's actually the answer to the drop more than the answer you, Drew, if you think about it.

54:51 Drew Oh, I think about it every time. They seem not to hear me when I'm actually speaking, but that drop they hear every time.

54:56 Adam Yep, I didn't hear what you said. Let me talk to cyber Drew so I can understand what he's saying. So, Megan, so are you angry? Listen, listen. Oh, wait a minute. That's Drew's listen drop? Megan, are you angry at your parents?

55:10 Caller They haven't exactly helped. So, yeah, I mean, I understand and I totally support what they believe and I in great part believe in a lot of it myself. It's just that that one aspect that, you know.

55:25 Drew What one aspect?

55:28 Jeff Probst What's the question?

55:29 Adam She's just angry. Yeah, you're just angry at your parents. That's why you're bisexual anyway. Eventually you'll tell them and they'll be shocked and you'll have completed your mission. Oh, they know.

55:42 Drew Mission accomplished.

55:43 Adam Oh, okay, well then you're done. Your parents tried to voice the retarded religion on you. You got angry at them and you decided to go down on chicks in order to F with your dad. So fine. Now what?

55:55 Caller Well, the thing is that I miss a part of that. I miss a part of the stability and the belief and the spirituality and I've tried to, you know, capture those parts of myself in other ways, but it's not the same. You know what I mean?

56:08 Drew The church will, if my understanding is correct, they will have you back. They'll harp on you for your behaviors, but it's not like they'll reject you because of it. They don't reject people that have been drug addicted. They don't inject people. They'll try to change you and that may be uncomfortable, but they're not gonna reject you.

56:22 Adam Well, why even bother? I mean, you're going to hell anyway.

56:25 Drew You know what's interesting?

56:26 Adam I mean, look, I'm no theologian, but I know I'm going to hell and I'll see you in hell.

56:30 Drew Think about this. This is interesting. Is that women do, sex for women can be a vengeful drive. But for guys, no, it's just a drive. No, no, it's just, exactly. You can't change it. You can't, it has no rational sort of understanding associated with it.

56:51 Adam And it's not like- No, there's no, there's no, I mean, about the worst I did to my dad was, you know, beat off into his toiletry kit in terms of vengeful, in terms of using my sexuality for vengeance.

57:03 Drew It just was, it's in the way. It just happened to be in the way, yeah.

57:06 Adam It was one of these things where it's like when you're gonna throw up and you just vomit and trash can it, you just, what are you gonna do? You start looking for something.

57:12 Drew Right, but you didn't mean anything by it. It was not any sort of directed behavior.

57:17 Adam No, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't mean to spot well, well, the mini aquavelva to the side of the thing. No, I didn't mean to do that. No, but, but Megan, you're not living at home, are you?

57:27 Caller No, I'm not. And just to let you know, I didn't do it like in revenge or like, you know, to piss my parents off or anything. Because I really did have a wonderful relationship with them. And it wasn't like that at all. It's just that, and that's one thing that's like really hard for me to believe in the church because like, I'm not, I'm not attracted to a penis or a vagina.

57:47 Adam Well, what, how do your parents know that you're bisexual?

57:52 Caller I, I told them. Why? Because they, they pretty much, they had, you know, suspicions and whatnot. And my dad and I have a really good relationship. And we sat down and he just basically said, you know, you mean the world to me. And I know that you're suffering through something. And my suffering was through like lying to them all the time.

58:12 Drew And so I'm confused. Did you have a girlfriend?

58:17 Caller Yeah, I did.

58:18 Drew Are you just lesbian? Are you lesbian? And that's that?

58:21 Caller No. And people ask me that all the time. I wouldn't consider myself a lesbian because I don't want to limit myself like that because I'm sure.

58:30 Jeff Probst We get people like this when we're doing survivor casting and you'll get into a conversation like this where and if you grill them long enough and interrogate them hard enough, you do get to the truth. And it's it's rarely what people are saying, what they're forcing.

58:44 Drew Jeff, you're so right. People just espouse a lot of BS because it's sort of the it's the politically correct sort of scapegoat of our time. It's the way to justify what you do to make sense of it when the reality is a far deeper issues.

58:56 Adam Well, here's the next thing, too, I've really realized for women, especially although it holds true for guys to a certain degree, but mostly for women, which is they can now have these long winded discussions on their sexuality, where there's every ear is on them. And they're like, I don't like to be limited in my sexuality. I believe that. Just shut up. Go either go down on a chick or go like sixty nine a raccoon or something. Just let me watch, would you? Just shut up. Like, I don't know. When did it become in vogue that people get to sort of espouse their retarded sexual notions all the time? And I don't believe that it's fair. And I'm I don't judge.

59:38 Drew I'm limiting. I want to be limited like you.

59:40 And I believe that.

59:41 Adam And it does. You know, I might be just shut up. Just go do what you're going to do and shut your pie hole.

59:47 Jeff Probst Everybody would just shut up. It'd be just be a lot more pleasant.

59:50 Adam It'd be great because that'd be the only one talking.

59:53 Drew But there is always a point here is that people, normal, let's say people, people that are feeling healthy about themselves, don't go broadcasting about their sexuality to their family and things. Right.

1:00:03 Adam And here's what I think we all object to, which is I don't care what your religion is or if you have a religion at all. I don't care what your sexual proclivity is. I don't care about any of it. I'm just reacting to the part where I have to address it now because you're confronting me with it constantly. And somehow you're the evolved one because you get to talk about your retarded sexuality constantly. And I want you to go away. I just want my goddamn TiVo. Just get your nipples pierced and go a 69 bovine water yak. I don't care. Just go do it and shut up. I'm tired of everyone expressing themselves.

1:00:47 Drew We accept you and love you. Now keep to yourself.

1:00:50 Adam We would love you more if we didn't know what you were doing.

1:00:52 Jeff Probst And no one cares.

1:00:53 Adam And nobody cares. That's the other thing. It's this sort of supreme narcissism where everyone needs to know about me and my sexuality. And of course, how could the world continue to spin on its axis if folks didn't know where I was coming from sexually? Just here's the thing. I assume everyone's heterosexual until proven otherwise, but don't care. I just don't care.

1:01:16 Jeff Probst The best conversations I have are with my buddies when you really are just honest and you're saying the dark dirt about why you just did what you did. There's no masking it. It's I did it because it was there or I did it because I always wanted to or whatever.

1:01:33 Drew You're talking about men and sex now, right?

1:01:35 Jeff Probst Yeah, typically, yeah, men and sex. But if you just take that, extrapolate that on, if you would just get to the point, what is it you want to say and say it because we're wasting time and it's all I got. I only got so many quarters to put in the meter. Don't him haw around. If you like women, good. If you're trying to prove something to your dad, I don't care.

1:01:56 Adam Let him kill himself and we'll all move forward. All right, Jeff Probst. Jeff, you could really...

1:02:00 Jeff Probst God, I like getting on soap boxes. It's great.

1:02:03 Adam It feels good. Because normally, just explaining the obstacle course and then doing that start thing.

1:02:09 Drew Since Jeff was last on the show, I did a thing with this cold turkey show and on that show, I met a psychologist that did all the pre-testing psychological screening. They now have a group of guys that just do that. And he was telling me that basically all reality show contestants have virtually the same personality profile. Narcissist, borderline, sociopath, drug addict. That's the basic profile. And they're all the same people. It's amazing that these are the people that self-refer and more importantly, get on reality television.

1:02:37 Jeff Probst Okay, that's a bit of a generalization, but...

1:02:41 Drew No, no, he'd actually done the testing. It was not a generalization. Here's the data. I forget the guy's name, but he'd done like about 80% of all the reality shows. And he's a young guy, nice guy, very smart guy. True.

1:02:53 Adam A guy farts and you hear drug addict, sociopath.

1:02:56 Jeff Probst Yeah, I was gonna say the drug addict thing and sociopath.

1:02:59 Drew No, not actively, not actively, but that's sort of the basic profile. It's a borderline narcissist.

1:03:03 Jeff Probst I'll tell you, it is true that in general, the best, most memorable characters have either very high or very low IQs and in their personality, their psychological profiles, whereas Drew might just sort of float in the middle, a little high, a little low here and there. These guys spike. They're very high or they're very low.

1:03:25 Adam Right. Yeah, we talk to people when they're low, bottoming out, as a matter of fact.

1:03:30 Jeff Probst Don't take a call.

1:03:32 Adam Listen, you think you can tell me just because you do?

1:03:35 Jeff Probst Don't take a call. I've been here for an hour. I feel like I have some involvement. Please don't take a call.

1:03:40 Adam I got to say, Jeff, I'm a fan. I was a fan of the show, but I don't come out to a Vanuatu and tell you how to run your show. And I appreciate it if you'd, you know, afford me the same courtesy when you're on my island. You understand? And for that, I'm going to take a call. I'm taking a call. I'm taking a call. I'll tell you that right now.

1:03:57 Drew How dare you.

1:03:58 Adam Sally? Yeah, they said I couldn't talk to you, but you know what? I defied them all. Because I'm a rebel. And you know what? I'm a rambling man. That means I got to leave at midnight because I got to ramble home and kiss my wife's ass.

1:04:11 Jeff Probst You know when to hold and you know when to fold.

1:04:13 Adam That's me. Hey, Sally. Hold on. I was just thinking to myself. Kenny Rogers. It's great. He wrote a song about gambling in 1969. And now he's the spokesperson for all gambling. And I think I need a song because this is you are just feathering your nest for the future. That's it. I mean, he wrote that, you know, you got to know when to hold them. When to fold them. When to fold them. That song is 25 years old. And now it's like any time there's like, hey, where we want to start a casino, well, who do we get? The Gatlin Brothers? No, what do you mean? We got Kenny Rogers. He's only got one gambling song in 1974. Oh, OK. Yeah, we'll get Kenny, agent on the phone. We got another gambling spot for you to do. He is the authority on gambling now because he wrote a song. He probably didn't write it. He probably didn't write it.

1:05:00 Caller Yeah.

1:05:01 Adam Charlie Price wrote it in 68 and he covered it in 74. And now he's making millions just doing he's opening casinos. Drew, what would my song be? That's what I'm saying to you.

1:05:14 Caller They'll never hear.

1:05:16 Adam Not sure if my balls are is going to make me millions down the road. But I just is gay. Oh, maybe that Sally. All right. So you're twenty seven. Calling from Pittsburgh.

1:05:30 Caller Yeah.

1:05:31 Adam What's up?

1:05:32 Caller Well, I have some weird sexual things going on with me. And I'm just wondering, you know, why I am the way that I am. First, I can remember actually having orgasms like from the time I was like seven or eight years old before I even knew what they were.

1:05:53 Drew That does happen to some women. And that doesn't necessarily mean anything other than just a little bit different biologically.

1:06:01 Caller And also, I can't have an orgasm unless I'm fantasizing that the person is overpowering me. But it still has to feel good. I have to feel like they're making it feel good and I don't really want it, but it's out of my control. I can't help it because...

1:06:20 Drew Do you have some reason to feel sort of shameful about your sexuality that which sometimes this means occasionally that you feel sort of uncomfortable about being sexual and if somebody else takes that over, you don't feel ashamed any longer because you're out of control and nothing to do with you. Somebody else did it to you.

1:06:36 Caller Uh-huh.

1:06:38 Drew Is that relatable?

1:06:40 Adam Or... Hold on a second. Drew, she's from Pittsburgh. Here's the thing. You always float that theory, but I really think it's more that women like being taken. And then that's a fantasy that women have.

1:06:54 Drew You're right. There is a natural tendency for that, but if she's bothered by it and it's a fetish, then it's sort of like, eh, you know, that's in the sexual abuse range, that's maybe shameful about sex, maybe, you know, shamed about it in some way, and maybe just what?

1:07:08 Caller If I was feeling shameful about it, I mean, I'm in a relationship with a guy I've been living with for seven years, and, you know, I'm completely comfortable sharing this with him, and he knows about this.

1:07:22 Drew Drew, can you? Go ahead, Jeff.

1:07:24 Jeff Probst I have a question. Can you fantasize about a scenario so often that it just becomes habitual, that that's what you need, just like?

1:07:33 Drew Yes, it's a fetish, then, it's a fetish. And that's what fetishes are, they're ways of distancing yourself from difficult feelings. And yes, while she feels comfortable superficially with her sexuality, the part that is uncomfortable for her, she escapes by turning it over to him. He takes me, it has nothing to do with me, he just makes me feel this way. And that's the part where she's uncomfortable.

1:07:55 Adam Sally? Yes? You sound depressed, you're having problems, you've been with a guy for seven years, are you married? Why not?

1:08:08 Drew He's not interested in getting married?

1:08:09 Adam Do you have kids? Okay, well that's good. What's wrong? Is life going okay? It sounds bad.

1:08:16 Caller Yeah, I mean, other than financial problems.

1:08:19 Drew Were you abused growing up?

1:08:21 Caller No.

1:08:23 Drew Were you shamed in some way about sexuality? Was there a sort of hyper-religious environment or anything like that?

1:08:30 Caller No, as a matter of fact, my parents were always like very open about it. Even when I was growing up, my dad told me that, you know, that any questions I had, I could ask him.

1:08:40 Drew How old were you when he said that?

1:08:42 Caller Oh, I don't know. I was probably pretty young, actually.

1:08:46 Drew Were you exposed to sexual material at a young age?

1:08:49 Caller Yeah. I can like, and he was, he could also be very crude in how he explained.

1:08:55 Drew That's creepy. Yeah. That becomes really almost a sort of sexual abuse of sorts. If you're exposed to materials like that for kids before the age of 12 and discussions and overt sexuality can be very, very traumatic.

1:09:07 Adam What?

1:09:08 Drew She saw a pornography or something?

1:09:09 Adam I don't know. I was just thinking about my grandma. I used to walk around nude.

1:09:13 Drew Oh, boy. It really ruined me. But you see pornography. You become shattering.

1:09:17 Adam Hold on. I can see the grape pubes. I can see them. I swear I can see them.

1:09:23 Jeff Probst Is this another case of what we were just talking about, though, that Sally knows the answer? If we depressed a little further and just said, what is it? She's got to know what the deal is.

1:09:32 Drew Well, the deal is she saw all this traumatizing material at a young age. And people don't, however, really realize what's happening to them. They distance themselves from the experience. And then it becomes sort of implicit in their behavior and their memory systems and how they act out their sexuality. And they're not really aware of it anymore. It's just how their sexuality emerges. And this is the case with Sally. In Adam's case, because of the trauma about the pubes, he has to focus up top. And he became the big top guy.

1:09:59 Adam Well, I like a busty woman.

1:10:02 Drew I'm not ashamed of that. That takes your eyes away from anything below. And so you're not so traumatized anymore.

1:10:08 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I want them to wear a diaper.

1:10:11 Jeff Probst The question Sally wants to ask, I think, is not why, but how do I change it?

1:10:16 Adam Right. Sally?

1:10:16 Jeff Probst That's my psychic ability.

1:10:20 Adam You sound depressed. It sounds like your childhood was less than perfect. It also seems like you're in a stagnant relationship. You've been living with a guy. You've been with him for seven years. Seems like you'd like to get married, move on with things. I suggest either he S's or gets off the pot. I suggest you actively do something about your financial situation, like get a better job or get a little job training or something like that. And then thirdly, maybe opening yourself up to looking into your past just a little bit and not saying that your dad was sort of euphemistically an open guy or not uptight. But maybe more like he had a couple beers and got out of line, at least verbally a few times.

1:11:03 Drew Yeah, I would say stuff that didn't have been written sensitive to how it affected a young girl growing up. That's the reality of what happened here.

1:11:09 Adam All right. Let's talk to Dan real quick before we go to break. He has a question for Jeff, which I'm sure he's heard before. But ask again. Go ahead, Dan.

1:11:16 Yeah, I was wondering, this is for Jeff and Adam.

1:11:19 If Jeff, has Survivor ever planned on having a celebrity survivor?

1:11:24 And if so, Adam, would you do it?

1:11:29 Jeff Probst Yeah, well, in the beginning we did. After season two, when it was really big and it beat Friends and it was the most watched show, everybody was talking about that. And the problem was lining up schedules with actors who have little hiatus windows, but then they get a movie and they can't promise they'll do it and all that. We probably wouldn't do it now, but...

1:11:48 Adam No. To me, the show has a sort of purity to it. And plus, since then, there's been other attempts at these sort of a celebrity get me out of here kind of debacles that fell flat on their face, although, albeit you could argue that they didn't actually have... Nikki Zuring's sister is not exactly what you call it.

1:12:08 Jeff Probst Well, and they caved in to them. Those guys complained and got tense. And then they complained and they got food. It wasn't... Right. But would you do it?

1:12:16 Adam I would definitely consider it. I'm that big a fan of the show, but it is a hairy show. I mean, the idea... You know, we've just seen the bugs crawling around is enough to freak me out. But I didn't know you got condoms. So, you know, that... I could be back on. I would definitely give some consideration. Here, the real question is you wouldn't want... But I'd be way down on the list of guys you'd be going after. Believe me, you would start at the top. And by the time you got to the top... I... Well, you would... Your fantasy answer would be, you know, John Travolta and whoever. But then realistically, that would never happen. And it'd probably be like, what'd Bonaducchi say? No, get Corolla on the phone. That's how it would work. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. Jeff Probst in the studio tonight from Survivor. We'll be right back after this.

1:13:09 Jeff Probst 1-800-LOVE-1-9-

1:13:19 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, back in studio tomorrow night in New York City tonight. Yep. Jeff Probst in studio tonight. Sarah Rue coming in from Less Than Perfect tomorrow night. Of course, talking about Survivor tonight, and excited about tomorrow night show. Big earthquake, big earthquake, 5.9. And I don't know what there is to knock over on that island. Coconuts, I just love to see that Na'ru guy run. What's his name? Dah? Dah ran right up the, he ran up the tree, Drew. Like a squirrel, he ran up that tree. I don't know what there, it must have just been like, like nothing but black ball sack to anyone who was underneath him. I know that sounds crude, but an eclipse of sack must have been, cause they don't have underpants.

1:14:15 Jeff Probst Oh, I remember the Rupert Johnny Fair play thing now.

1:14:18 Adam What happened?

1:14:19 Jeff Probst Where they went down the netting type of thing.

1:14:23 Adam I told you, I told you you could do it. Ronnie? 29.

1:14:28 How you doing?

1:14:30 Adam Good, what's up?

1:14:33 Well, I just wanted to call and I was talking to the screen earlier. I just.

1:14:38 Adam No, I don't believe him already. How you doing, Drew? What else are we gonna do?

1:14:45 Drew Yeah, yeah, I know you don't like him.

1:14:46 Adam All right, Ronnie, go ahead.

1:14:47 I've just been waiting for a long time. I get to the cut to my house. I'm outside of my car talking with you guys.

1:14:52 Drew What's the question?

1:14:54 I just got back with my, she's actually the mother of my son. And we were apart for a couple of years. And we were very sexual before. And just for other issues, we separated. And I was out of the state. And I'm back. And so we're back together. Florida. We had a threesome.

1:15:16 Adam We just had a threesome.

1:15:18 Drew Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:15:20 Adam That's you, your girl and your son?

1:15:22 No.

1:15:25 Drew You're uptight. Why did you separate? Why were you apart?

1:15:29 Well, I had to go out of town for, I had to go out of town for family.

1:15:32 Drew No, wait a minute, stop. Why?

1:15:35 Jeff Probst It's all night with these calls.

1:15:38 Adam I know. But listen. Get to it. Jeff, I like Jeff because he doesn't like survivors. He doesn't like Loveline College. He doesn't like anybody. He's angry. I like that we could hang out, yell at people. You and I should just drive around while I yell at people while we're on the road.

1:15:51 Drew But here's the deal. He's saying, why did you break up with this one?

1:15:56 Adam Well, Drew, you know what it's like. You have relatives on the East Coast. You got to visit them for like a memorial weekend. You break up with your girl. You get a divorce, right?

1:16:03 Drew Exactly.

1:16:04 Adam You go out of town. You see some relatives.

1:16:06 Drew Right. So why did you break up?

1:16:10 Well, we broke up because we were young. We were just young. We were young when we got together. And, you know, and you didn't want to be with her.

1:16:18 Drew You decided you were done with her. Why do you come out and just say that at the beginning? You wanted to leave. All right. So you left and then you decided to come here. Yeah, please. Honest that we're looking for. And then you came back. And then how long have you been back with her?

1:16:33 We've been we've been, you know, back with each other for about, I don't know, I'd say buckets for maybe four months.

1:16:40 Drew And immediately went into the threesome thing.

1:16:43 No, no, no. This this was just over the weekend.

1:16:45 Drew This past weekend. That's the end of that. That's going to screw you up.

1:16:49 Adam Who is a threesome with?

1:16:51 With a friend of hers from work.

1:16:53 Drew She's a male.

1:16:55 No, female.

1:16:56 Adam No, female.

1:16:57 Who wanted it? Well, you know, we just always we talked about it, you know.

1:17:02 Drew She's looking for trouble. She is looking for trouble. And he's up and he's open for anything. And she's looking for trouble. So she wants a reason to get it.

1:17:10 Jeff Probst Most erotic and most threatening experience simultaneously.

1:17:15 Drew Jeff.

1:17:16 What you're doing now is I noticed she's just calling her more, you know, when she's like home or we're out somewhere and she's calling her and or, you know, she's, you know, like, you know, like some are saying. But I don't know why she does. You worry about it or just kind of go with it.

1:17:29 Adam All right. Listen, Ronnie, Ronnie. First off, give the do the kid a favor. Give it to like some hyenas. Throw it in the hyena cage at the zoo and give the kid a shot. In a decent childhood, would you please? You two knuckleheads raising this kid. You're 29 for Christ's sake.

1:17:45 Caller I mean, we're good parents, though. I mean, we are.

1:17:47 Adam Oh, you're the best. None better.

1:17:48 Drew Yeah. You've left for how many years? That's every parent should leave for numbers of years, especially the ones.

1:17:53 Adam No, nobody better.

1:17:55 Caller I left for I left. I was out of town for a couple of months and I just kind of put the icing on the cake. But I've always been there for my, you know, for my son. Sure. Sure.

1:18:04 Adam Someone's got to hand you a towel when you're back and someone from work.

1:18:07 Jeff Probst Another guy who knows the answer to his question.

1:18:09 Adam Yeah. What's that? Listen, Ronnie, who needs a show?

1:18:13 Caller Should I be worried about the calls or you're you're you're maybe right.

1:18:17 Adam Ronnie, look, here's the thing. You're 29. You sound like you're 21. Get it together, brother. You this relationship probably never was meant to be. But unfortunately, you have a kid now. So you have to both on behalf of the child, start acting like people that are, you know, a couple of months from 30 rather than just getting out of a summer camp in 14 for the love of Christ.

1:18:43 Drew And she clearly is into a lot of chaos. She's mad at you and she's threatening you with this relationship with this girl, which may or may not be real. Who knows? Who knows? It's all chaos.

1:18:52 Adam You must sell something for a living. What do you sell?

1:18:58 Caller I actually just help people with their finances, believe it or not.

1:19:02 Adam Really?

1:19:02 Drew You don't sell financial products?

1:19:05 Caller What's that?

1:19:06 Drew You don't sell financial products?

1:19:08 Caller Yes, I do.

1:19:10 Adam There's something. You're a salesman because you're one of these guys who has a rap. You ask a question, then you give the answer for it. You're going to screw the kid up. And by the way, is it a girl?

1:19:19 Drew Boy. It's a boy.

1:19:20 Adam Oh, it's a boy? Good. They'll just be a gangbanger or something. Girl goes right into pornography. All right, Ronnie, get it together. Stop acting out. No more threesomes. No more threesomes. That's it. That's it. And focus on your kid. And look, we hear this rap every night. I go out. I'm a raging alcoholic.

1:19:40 Jeff Probst I'm a junkie.

1:19:41 Adam I just turned over Circle K. I lit a bum on fire. I'm a great parent. I'm a great parent. Look, first off, you can't be a great parent if you're a horrible person.

1:19:52 Drew There's no such thing. I was just thinking that you've got to be a great person and you've got to be able to sustain in a great relationship. That's what makes a great parent. That's it. I'm a rapist. That's it. Drew, please. No, that's it. Everything else is evidence of you not being a great parent.

1:20:05 Adam Yeah, I don't know. And by the way, so according to your logic, the guys who give to the March of Dimes and work the 50-hour weeks and volunteer down at the homeless shelter are horrible parents or do they get to be great parents too? Is everyone's a great parent? You're junkie, you're whoring out your wife, you kick the puppy and put the M-80 in the ass of a kitten, but great parent. Oh, great, great. Now I got to go to a Klan meeting. Great parent. I'm going to Swingers Club with my old lady.

1:20:38 Drew Great parent.

1:20:39 Adam I'm banging the bejesus out of my secretary, and she's handicapped. Great, great parent. Great parent. I just ripped off a guy on a car warranty, but great. Great parent.

1:20:49 Drew I moved to Florida for three years.

1:20:53 Adam Oh, no. Great. I'm great. You loving your kid is not being a great parent. You actually expressing love to your kid is what makes you a great parent. Yes, Drew?

1:21:03 Drew Do you remember the guy in Florida that was driving us around telling us what a great parent he was? He was in Florida. He saw the kids once a year in Michigan.

1:21:11 Adam Like a kid in Michigan. Yeah, it was great, Dad. By the way, it's easy to be great the one day you see. Here's what it is. It's like, well, I see the kid once a year. We go to Knott's Berry Farm and then TGI. Fridays for blooming onion and all he can eat. So, okay, one day, yeah, you're a great parent. It's like, I'm the world's greatest employee. The one day I showed up for work, I showed up early and I got all my work done.

1:21:38 Drew Same thing.

1:21:38 Adam Yeah, but you got to show up the next Monday. No, no, greatest employee, employee of the year, right here, showed up early.

1:21:44 Drew Boss, you had to inform me. Boss had to inform me.

1:21:46 Adam Didn't even steal any copy of toner. What an employee I am. What a dad you are. Please, and by the way, who are you talking to, for Christ's sake? Would you listen to yourselves? You live in Florida. Your kid lives in Michigan. You're a great dad. Or maybe their logic is, well, I'm an alcoholic and I'm sexually abusive, so I'm a great dad by staying away from my kid. Maybe that's it, Drew. Maybe that's the twist we don't know about.

1:22:11 Drew I think the real twist is that their father was a physically abusive alcoholic, and therefore they would have rather had the dad be absent, so they're going to give that gift to their child.

1:22:20 Adam Right. I'm giving you the gift of absence, because I can't beat you from Florida. Fantastic. All right. That should be the Florida bumper sticker, by the way. You can't get beat from Florida. Welcome deadbeat dads. All right. Let's take ourselves a little break.

1:22:38 Drew Jeff Probst, you can't beat our deadbeat dads. That's good.

1:22:43 Adam That's true. That's not bad.

1:22:45 Jeff Probst That's catchy.

1:22:46 Adam Florida, come for the waffles. Stay for the deadbeat dads. We'll work it out, Drew. Jeff Probst here from Survivor. That is CBS on Thursday nights, 8 o'clock. Big earthquake episode tomorrow night. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. That's Dr. Drew in New York tonight. Gonna be back in studio just in time for Sarah Rue tomorrow night. Jeff Probst in studio tonight. Big fan.

1:23:37 Jeff Probst I forget, I get caught up in listening to the show. I'm sitting in here and just like I do every night.

1:23:42 Caller Seven months and ever since, well, not like every time we have sex, but there's been quite a few times since I made out with my friend that I've been like imagining that it's either her or a different girl.

1:23:56 Drew Are you mad at your boyfriend about something?

1:23:59 Caller No, I wasn't mad at him.

1:24:01 Caller Like we weren't like having the best time, but.

1:24:05 Drew What's the problem? What's going on?

1:24:07 Caller I don't know.

1:24:08 Caller Well, like, I'm just afraid that, I don't know, I'm kind of concerned that maybe I'm the lesbian and I don't know it.

1:24:16 Drew What's going on with your boyfriend?

1:24:19 Adam I got a better question.

1:24:21 Drew That's the issue.

1:24:22 Adam All right, but we're not going to get to that.

1:24:23 Drew Why you said, do things are not going well with the boyfriend? What's the problem?

1:24:27 Caller Well, I don't know. Like we just haven't been getting along too great.

1:24:30 Adam Why?

1:24:31 Drew What does that mean?

1:24:32 Adam Please, Drew, would you go smack your head against a locker?

1:24:35 Drew It would be easier.

1:24:36 Adam So you could get something done?

1:24:37 Drew Yes.

1:24:38 Adam It would be better. More gratifying.

1:24:40 Drew Yes, it would.

1:24:41 Adam By the way, when they invented lockers, who knew they were going to take such abuse? People punching them, people whacking their football helmets against them, guys throwing stuff at them. I mean, you really, when you invented a locker, you'd think, well, here's a nice thing. I'm going to make a nice contribution. Yeah, you got a little coat thing. The guys can keep their shorts in there. Who knew people would be beating the crap out of them?

1:25:00 Drew Is this part locker, part drum, you say?

1:25:03 Jeff Probst And that a locker would be responsible for so much, for so much a mental trauma. Think how many kids were pushed up against a locker by the bully. Yeah, those bastards who made those lockers should be locked up with Cece DeVille in the, who else?

1:25:19 Adam Joe Walsh.

1:25:19 Jeff Probst Joe Walsh.

1:25:21 Adam And Johnny Fairplay in their own locker. Wouldn't that be poetic justice?

1:25:26 Jeff Probst And all the guys who have foreskin.

1:25:27 Adam That's right. No, just the foreskin. All right, hold on a second. Shove like that. Stop talking to Grace. Let me talk to Grace. Grace. When you fantasize about being with the girl when you're with your boyfriend, how do you explain the penis? You know what I'm saying?

1:25:47 Caller Well, yeah, I know. But like, I just imagine that it's like a strap on or something like that.

1:25:51 Adam Oh, really? Yeah.

1:25:53 Jeff Probst Hey, Grace, is that, is making out with your female friend, was that cheating?

1:25:59 Caller He considered, like, he thinks it would be, that's why I haven't told him. He doesn't know that it even happened, but he considers it cheating, but I don't.

1:26:07 Drew How do you know, did you happen to bring it up to him, to test him? How, what would you say if? One of those sorts of discussions?

1:26:15 Caller Yeah, and he, like his ex-girlfriend, it happened to him with her, and he broke up with her over it.

1:26:22 Adam Okay, so look, Grace, I think maybe this relationship is done.

1:26:27 Jeff Probst Yes, that's the problem.

1:26:27 Adam You're angry, you're having fantasies about women, you are cheating, albeit it's not egregious, but you're being intimate with other people.

1:26:37 Drew Heterosexual women commonly retreat to women when they're being brutalized in some fashion in their relationship. I don't, I'm being overly sort of maybe dramatic with that, but they're being, they've made to feel bad in the relationship, they'll retreat.

1:26:55 Adam All right, I feel bad, because William's been on hold for 118 minutes.

1:26:59 Jeff Probst Wow.

1:26:59 Drew It was the first call, wasn't it?

1:27:00 Adam Oh, I don't know. Oh, it was? It was the guy I talked to at the very beginning?

1:27:05 Jeff Probst That's cold.

1:27:06 Adam All right, I'm sorry, William. Are you still there?

1:27:08 Yes, I am.

1:27:09 Adam Sorry, brother, man.

1:27:10 That's all right. Hey, I just got hired at a LA Unified School District, and I'm making like $200 a week, and my mom wants to take 50% out of my paycheck, and I was just wondering, is that fair? Because I think I'm earning the money, I should be able to keep it. 50% for what?

1:27:27 Adam What are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing, you're 16.

1:27:29 Caller I'm just an assistant helping around at the actual district, and my mom's on the line right now too.

1:27:34 Adam Oh, okay. Oh my God, she's been on hold for 118 minutes too?

1:27:37 Caller Yes.

1:27:38 Adam All right, I'm gonna try to go fast and just call her William's mom. William's mom? All right, you're there. Now William is 16, he's bringing home a couple hundred dollars a week?

1:27:51 Caller A potential job, yes.

1:27:53 Caller Potential, yeah.

1:27:55 Adam And you would like, you think you're entitled to half of that money?

1:27:58 Caller That's correct.

1:28:01 Drew For you, for living expenses, for the two of you, or so he can put it away in a college account or something?

1:28:05 Caller Well, I'm a single mom of three. I work only five and a half hours a day. I also work for a school district, but it's not a full-time job. I struggle with all three of my kids. No help from dad. I don't think I'm being unfair. I've raised William, I've done the best I can. I still drive a 1986 car, and I think I should be able to keep half of that. That alone would cover maybe the groceries.

1:28:35 Adam Here's the thing, William's mom, here's the problem. You're gonna end up getting 450 bucks out of him. He's gonna be spending 20 grand in therapy and resent you for the rest of his life. That's the problem. On the other hand, if you really need the extra three or $400 a month to make ends meet, then that's a necessity. And if that's the case, you gotta do what you gotta do. And William, unfortunately, you got a tough hand dealt to you. Your dad abandoned the family and now sort of you're taking on a parental role and you're gonna have to contribute. Ultimately, William, I can guarantee you it will make you stronger and better. Every successful entrepreneur has this story. It was never, oh, we had a great, it was cushy, it was a wonderful life, I had a silver spoon in my mouth. No, they grow up hungry and they understand what it's like and the value of a dollar and what it's like to work early. So William, as much as you may resent it, she may end up teaching you some valuable lessons about life and if she needs it, she needs it. Maybe you guys strike a bargain. Maybe not half.

1:29:38 Drew Right, not 50%, right, maybe 25% or something.

1:29:40 Adam Yeah, give her 50 bucks every week and that'll be her tiding.

1:29:45 Drew Right, and be careful that he doesn't build resentments against you and the other kids.

1:29:49 Adam We'll have a, take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:29:53 Caller Dude, you got issues.

1:30:08 Adam Yeah, well, that's the show. Oh, so many questions, so little time. Wanna thank Jeff Probst for coming in tonight from The Great Survivor.

1:30:17 Jeff Probst Did a lousy job of promoting Survivor.

1:30:19 Adam That's all right.

1:30:20 Drew Oh, are you kidding? Adam did it for you.

1:30:24 Adam Yeah, yep, Thursday Nights, everybody. CBS, okay, eight o'clock. Big earthquake tomorrow. Look out. Sarah Rue on Tomorrow Night, and Drew, give me a call.

1:30:35 Drew I'm going to.

1:30:36 Adam You got your old lady with you?

1:30:37 Drew No.

1:30:38 Adam Good, cut that bag loose. Where are you going by? It's 3 a.m. over there. You swing by Scores, have a little nightcap, pretty poppin in the room.

1:30:44 Drew Oh, of course, you know me. That's what I always do.

1:30:47 Adam We'll take a little extended 22-hour break. We'll be back tomorrow night with Sarah Rue, and until next time, this is Adam Carolla.

1:30:53 Jeff Probst See you, Drew.

1:30:54 Adam For Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:30:56 Caller I will cut y'all to pieces.

1:30:59 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:31:03 Caller Loveline.

1:31:04 Jeff Probst Opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:31:11 Adam The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:31:14 Jeff Probst Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, October 13, 2004