Episode 1000650786630

0:57 Voiceover Online is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:22 Voiceover Oh, yeah. Get it on. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Orlando Jones. Yeah, hold on.

1:35 Drew I'll take your part.

1:35 Adam Quiet down. Orlando Jones is coming in here on Sunday. And then Dave Navarro on Monday. And Drew is in Washington, DC. Yes?

1:45 Drew Indeed I am.

1:46 Adam And you attended some conference for what?

1:51 Drew Addiction. Addiction to sex. And I'm actually their keynote speaker tomorrow night. So I'm sitting through other people's lectures today and tomorrow and then I'm giving the big one tomorrow night.

2:00 Adam Mm-hmm.

2:01 Drew Good times.

2:02 Adam Good times.

2:04 Drew I enjoyed your, again, your laugh out loud, spontaneously. Like I would like not to laugh at you sometimes. I laughed out loud at your presentation at Late Late Show.

2:14 Adam Thank you.

2:15 Drew Even though, how about a little heads up about the Germany or Florida?

2:21 Adam Oh, for you?

2:22 Drew Well, just for now, not just for me, but the whole Loveline squad, just to let us know, to put us on notice that you're taking our, what seems like our home game.

2:30 Adam Yeah. It seems like we played a little Germany or Florida on the Late Late Show tonight. Went over well, I must say.

2:37 Drew Actually, I did like the graphics. Seems like you're making fun of it. They've got Hasselhoff's face over Germany.

2:43 Adam I thought that was me, by the way, during rehearsal, because it was so small. Is that me behind that G? Yeah, Plato, Germany or Florida. Well, here's the thing. Really, the reality is, is Germany... Let me tell you who owns Germany or Florida, Drew. The wind.

2:59 Drew No, I know. It wasn't invented with Loveline.

3:03 Adam Because it was invented at the writer's table over at Kimmel, and it was really pulled out of Kimmel's scrap heap, because he really didn't have anything to do with it, or didn't want to do anything with it, so I just dragged it over here, and then dragged it over to CBS.

3:21 Drew How did it go with Kathy?

3:23 Adam Kathy Griffin, dear, dear friend. She was on the show tonight. Always easy, you know, when she's a guest, because she just goes and goes and goes.

3:32 Drew How come she doesn't enter a radio studio the way she entered your set?

3:36 Adam Yeah, she was, oh my God, she was done up, she was becoming Phyllis Diller, by the way.

3:42 Drew Did you say that on the air?

3:43 Adam No, I did not. I just thought it on the air.

3:46 Drew She's like a hot Phyllis Diller, though.

3:47 Adam Yeah, like a hot Phyllis Diller. Well, I mean, she's just got her, you know, she's, she's, you know, putting on the mascara, that's all I'm saying. All right. Got a little female impersonator going on it.

4:03 Drew She's getting all this stuff put on her, you know what I mean?

4:05 Getting stuff put on her.

4:07 Drew That's the whole plastic thing is becoming a female, female impersonator.

4:11 Adam She may have a little fetish thing going, Drew.

4:13 Drew Oh, interesting.

4:14 Adam Anyway, so a good show tonight on CBS. And God bless Drew for keeping tabs on me. All right. You write a rock here, Drew?

4:22 Drew I am. You were whining about not controlling the calls.

4:26 Adam I do want to control them. Because I would like to talk to calls like Chris. Who's 20, Chris? What's up?

4:39 And I went up to New York and did it. And I went and got a piercing done. And then on my way home, I got into a car accident. And since then, I haven't been able to really enjoy or engage in facts or come to life.

4:58 Drew I lost. I couldn't figure out the story.

5:00 Adam She got on a train and a car. And then she took a boat to get a tattoo. And then she got in a dirigible.

5:07 Drew And the dirigible exploded?

5:10 Adam It crashed. All the humanity grew. Okay.

5:14 She took a car.

5:15 Drew Wait, wait. Did she say something about losing her virginity? Yes. When was that? July?

5:20 That was in July.

5:21 Drew And you've been having sex with the same guy ever since?

5:25 Yeah.

5:26 Drew And so the guy you're not... It's a friend with benefits.

5:31 Not even that, no.

5:33 Drew It's a booty call.

5:39 Adam Yeah. Well, it's just getting to the point where it's like he pays her $8 for sex. I mean, that's like what it's getting to still down to.

5:46 Drew Come on, that's a little rich.

5:48 Adam Yeah. I'll tell you my favorite part of Hooker's on the brink. Just the mic'd up Hooker. He's down in some bad part of Washington, DC. And the guy's in a busted up Cherokee and it's like, Hi, sweetie, how you doing?

6:05 What you need tonight?

6:07 Adam How about some hair? How much? Four dollars? Oh, baby, you got to do better than that. It's really under $20. Anal is like $750 and the guy's always complaining like, Oh, come on, baby. Now, who do I look like? Dr. Phil over here? You've got to do better than that.

6:29 Yeah.

6:29 Adam That's my black guy, Drew.

6:31 Drew It's well done.

6:31 Pretty effective, huh?

6:32 Drew Yeah, by the way, you're going to get the complaints tonight from the Korean National Assembly.

6:37 Adam Yeah, what did I say about that?

6:39 Drew The crazy Koreans and the Daehatsu.

6:42 Adam Oh, yeah. Don't give it away, Drew.

6:44 Drew Oh, I didn't say what about the Daehatsu, though.

6:46 Adam Chris. All right. So you're getting a tat. You were, took a train.

6:52 Drew No, piercing.

6:53 Adam You lost your virginity. Oh, yeah, piercing.

6:55 Drew Where was the piercing? And you got a car accident. Have you been having nightmares or flashbacks or anything because of the car accident?

7:04 Well, yeah, I've been in therapy over it because I can't sleep and, you know, I could drive more well.

7:10 Drew Listen. So you were, you're having what's called a post-traumatic stress disorder. If something as relatively minor as a motor vehicle accident triggers intense post-traumatic stress reaction, that suggests you've been traumatized growing up. Sort of sets you up to be this way. Well, hold on.

7:27 Adam How bad was the accident?

7:29 It was pretty bad. It was, I was in a little car and the woman ran and stopped by an SUV and drove my car and I had to have surgery and so on and so forth.

7:40 Drew What kind of surgery?

7:42 I had to have surgery on my knee and an adjustment on my right wrist.

7:48 Drew What was the surgery on your knee? An arthroscopy?

7:51 I don't know. It wasn't, it was like a two hour long surgery or something. I don't know what it was.

7:58 Adam She doesn't know.

7:59 Drew Well, because I'm trying to determine, did they just sew her up or did she actually have a surgery where they invaded her because of some internal injury?

8:08 Adam Either way.

8:09 Drew It's important because a trauma survivor will make a lot of a little.

8:13 All right.

8:13 Adam Well, I don't understand why she's a virgin until she's 20, but on the other hand, how many virgins get nipple piercings? You know what I mean?

8:21 Drew Reclaimed virgin. Declared virgin.

8:25 Chris.

8:25 Adam Yes. Were you molested growing up, Chris?

8:28 No. No.

8:29 Adam Never sexually abused in any way?

8:33 Drew But physical abuse?

8:34 No.

8:35 Drew What?

8:36 Adam No?

8:36 Well, no.

8:38 Drew How do you define physical abuse, then, for you?

8:44 Adam No.

8:44 Drew That's extreme beatings. Physical abuse is somebody hitting you with an object.

8:48 No.

8:50 Adam Where you get hard with an object. I'm done ringing her like a retarded bar rag to try to get a drop of information.

8:58 Drew All we can say is.

8:59 Adam Chrono therapist.

9:00 Drew No, no. She's getting therapy. Post-traumatic stress disorder. Very good. Of course your sex drive is down when you're having PTSD. Of course. So, it has nothing to do with the piercing. Everything has to do with the accident, but more to do with whatever sets you up for the trauma reaction to the accident.

9:15 Adam Angels, O and 2, Dodgers, O and 2, Drew, you know what I'm saying?

9:20 Drew And both teams were up quite a bit too, you know what I'm saying?

9:24 Adam Like three days ago they were talking about a subway series, a freeway series. Oh my God, it's going to be great. The World Series is coming to LA. Now it's like, huh? I didn't think it would.

9:39 Drew But the teams are playing, the Red Sox and the Cardinals are unbelievable.

9:43 Adam Yeah, they're good, but I don't even know how much better they were record-wise during the year. Was it considerably better?

9:50 Drew No, no, no, no. They just are more powerful. These are offensive teams.

9:53 Adam Yeah, but here's the thing, I know, but the thing about baseball, it's all out the window. If a pitcher has a good game, if a batter hits for the cycle, you know what I'm saying? I mean, you know, six times out of ten the better team is going to win. But not eight or nine times out of ten, you know what I'm saying?

10:11 Drew Correct, but we were hoping for one of those four times for these two teams and we didn't get it.

10:15 Adam Yeah, we didn't get it. All right, Drew, I just whacked the monitor and now I got nothing in it. So it's time for you to sing the dreidel song.

10:26 So do you want me to hook in to the, I don't know, I don't necessarily need to see the monitor.

10:32 Adam All right, I guess I could just whack some, some number, punch some, yeah, okay. I'll go number one. Hello?

10:38 Drew You're going number one.

10:39 Adam Yeah, it's, it's cold in here. Oh, I'm not hooked up.

10:44 Drew Do you want me to hook up?

10:46 Adam I have no idea.

10:47 Drew All right, let's talk about your performance.

10:49 Adam How about them angels, Drew?

10:50 Hey, you guys want to take one or what?

10:52 Adam Tell you what. Did I come disconnected, Anderson?

10:56 Yeah, apparently. It says you're on, but Drew, do you want to go on?

10:59 Drew Yeah, I'll go on.

11:00 Which college are we going out of right now? College radio.

11:05 Adam All right.

11:05 What do you want? You want Chris on line one?

11:07 Adam Yeah.

11:08 He injured his dork during sex.

11:10 Drew Thank you, Anderson. Thank you.

11:12 Adam Chris?

11:12 Drew Makes it much more professional, he puts it like that.

11:14 Hello?

11:15 Drew Yeah.

11:16 Adam What's going on?

11:18 Well, I was having sex with my girlfriend about two weeks ago, and she went back to... She was on top, and she went back to answer the phone and lean back, and there was just a loud pop, and my penis just started throbbing and hurting, and then afterwards it had a tilt to it, you know?

11:37 Drew A tilt, or like a bump on the side?

11:39 No, it was like it was broken, kind of.

11:42 Drew Ah, you're BSS.

11:43 Adam Who was on the phone, by the way?

11:45 Huh?

11:46 Adam Who called?

11:48 Me?

11:48 Adam You called her while you were underneath her?

11:53 Oh, no. I don't know who called. It was one of her friends.

11:57 Adam All right, you're lying.

11:59 Idiot.

12:00 Drew You have that emblazoned in your mind. You'd be so angry with that person.

12:04 Adam Our callers are such retards, too, they can't come up with anything. Take them like 45 minutes to come up with like a fake birthday. But let's go like, May, uh, but the, uh, oh, uh, uh, oh, May, uh, 33rd. I mean, I mean, uh, negative one. Oh, Christ.

12:26 Drew Our callers will always start with May. I don't know.

12:28 Adam Oh, oh, uh, uh, no, like stupid people don't realize they make noise when they're thinking like, you know, stupid people and me make noise when we're eating. Here's the way. Let me tell you something about being dumb. You make noise doing everything. You snore. When you eat, it sounds like it. Being stupid that makes you so goddamn loud. Stupid people should be quiet. They should be trying to fly under the radar so we don't notice how stupid they are. But they advertise. That's right. Wait a minute. You know what I'm saying?

13:34 Drew I absolutely agree with you. And yet I'm trying to wonder, I'm trying to, it's, it's sort of a clumsiness. It's rather, when you're not refined, you're not contained.

13:43 Adam No, you don't know you're stupid and you advertise. That's what that is. You get cars with broken mufflers. You all these jackasses on these motorcycles that pull the baffles out of it and they drive up and down. You know, they got their hogs. Oh, these tards and their hogs. Please. Who are you? Idiots kidding. You jackasses. Oh, and by the way, how about handing some tickets out to these folks? These guys get these hogs. They're you know, they're basically single cylinder or two cylinder motorcycles. They have them board up to like 1900 CCs. It is a car engine in a motorcycle with just an open carburetor. It's got like a McHoonie 44 side draft. They take the baffles out of the pipe. It's an open pipe and these a-holes are going up and down the street at four in the morning. Hey, everyone, listen to me. I dropped 14 grand on a motorcycle. Listen to me.

14:42 Everyone, look, I'm coming.

14:44 Adam Here I come. Oh, yes, it's 4 a.m. I'm drunk. Really? There's nothing. And by the way, if you like live in a canyon or something, you can hear these dicks going all the way up the canyon. They pass your apartment. They go a mile up. You hear them going through the hills now. Really? That's cool with everybody? No problems here at all. No tickets for this guy. But oh, God forbid you roll through a four-way stop at 3 a.m. with no cars in the city. Oh, that's yeah. Oh, no. No. We're going to have to put an end to that. What is that? Drew?

15:18 I don't know.

15:20 Adam All right.

15:20 Drew I don't know. I wish I knew. You're talking to me. I wish I could talk to Chris still, too.

15:24 Adam Everyone listen to me. All right.

15:27 Drew Here's the deal.

15:28 Adam What a comedy partner.

15:29 Drew I hear you. I hear you. I feel your pain. I feel your pain.

15:33 Adam Abbott and I don't know. We could do Who's On First. I don't know. Who's On Second? I don't know. By the way, that's a crappy comedy routine.

15:46 Drew Who's On First?

15:47 Adam Yeah.

15:48 Drew Why?

15:49 Adam I'll tell you why it's crappy because the names of all the players in the routine are names like I don't know or I'm not, don't tell my wife. That's nobody's name. But it's a joke. But it's a retarded, flawed comedy premise.

16:06 Drew Here's the premise, if you've ever heard, they sometimes miss the preamble. The preamble is they're getting together, talking about black baseball and they go, what if we made a fantasy baseball team? And Abba goes, I can make one with a bunch of interesting names. And he goes, what would your first baseman names be? And then it starts.

16:22 Adam Yeah, I know. But there's a guy on first named Who and like not only that but is behind the plate. And What Did You Say is pitching. It's a self-serving retarded premise. I'll tell you what's a good one. I was talking to Fred Willard, the very funny Fred Willard on a private plane in the Kimmel entourage, heading out to the Vegas, heading out to Texas last year for the Super Bowl. And I think he was telling me about a Who's On First bit they used to do way back in the day, but it was with bands like The Who and like Yes. And so it would be like, Who's playing, Who?

17:07 Yes.

17:08 Adam Who's opening for them?

17:09 Yes.

17:09 Adam Who? Yes. Okay, that works.

17:13 Drew Yes.

17:13 That works.

17:14 Adam You understand? Not a first baseman name I don't know.

17:17 Drew Yes.

17:18 Adam Yes. Yes. Thank you.

17:20 Drew And who?

17:21 Adam I think the Who and then the Guess Who were also one of the bands. And then Yes was one of the other bands.

17:27 Drew All right. We got to make a list. During the break, make a list of all the bands we could use in a routine like that. That's never going to happen. But let me address the broken dork for a second, man.

17:35 Adam Korn Andersen.

17:36 All right.

17:42 Adam What's up? What's up, Drew? What are you trying to do? What's wrong with Korn?

17:46 Korn could work somewhere in there.

17:48 That's good.

17:49 Adam You could wedge Korn in if you got a running start, but it's not the Guess Who, the Who or Yes.

17:54 Drew It's not the answer to a question with a question or a statement.

17:58 All right.

17:59 Adam Let's move forward, Drew. I have no board over here.

18:02 Drew No. I know. But I want to talk about the broken dork for a second. So, we're not going to talk to Chris because we think he's bogus, but the fact is that people can fracture the dork in very much the manner in which he described, and there are two possible injuries. One is that you take it where it attaches the body to the body and bend it down too far and the ligament tears. You don't usually hear a pop. You hear sort of a tear from that. It doesn't hurt, and the penis kind of hangs low as a result. That doesn't kind of have that nice 45-degree angle anymore.

18:30 Right.

18:30 Drew Now, in the mid-shaft, if you fracture it, you'll see you'll usually have swelling on one side because you actually break the cavernous body that holds the blood, and so it leaks out to that side and pushes it in the other direction, but it's sort of a... It's not an elbow, as this guy described. It's just sort of a swelling on one side that pushes it over, and that's actually a serious injury. It may need surgery or your dork may not work right anymore or it may shorten and pull to one side.

18:52 Caller Mm-hmm.

18:54 Drew Good times, huh?

18:54 Adam Drew, I'll tell you what. Thanks for that explanation. Why don't we break a minute or so early?

18:59 All right.

18:59 Adam Try to get our phone screen thing working.

19:02 I've got it.

19:03 Drew I'm good. I can see it.

19:04 Adam Oh, you do?

19:05 Drew Yeah, I'm fine.

19:06 Adam Yeah. I can miss it on my side.

19:08 Drew I know, but let's finish the segment, at least, with it over there.

19:10 Adam Well, listen. We break every night 10 minutes late. I just thought we'd go on time for a change.

19:16 Drew 126. Juan.

19:17 Yeah, what's up?

19:18 Drew We're asking you.

19:20 Well, I'm 26, and last month, I wet the bed twice.

19:24 Drew Yeah. Had you had a pansy in your whole life as an adult, or even in late in childhood, you never wet your bed?

19:31 I never did late in childhood, and never did as an adult, either.

19:35 Drew Are you having any of the symptoms?

19:38 Any of the symptoms, what does it mean?

19:39 Drew Are you thirsty all the time, are you peeing all the time during the day? Anything else?

19:42 No, nothing like that.

19:44 Drew People don't think of the fact that you get diabetes, and when you're diabetic, you bladder you pour fluid out of your body, and your bladder fills up so fast, you basically can't handle it, or it overflows sometimes.

19:55 Adam When you say pour fluid out of your body, you don't mean like sweating, you mean like pour fluid out of your body in your bladder.

20:02 Drew So quickly that the bladder just sort of gets...

20:05 Well, the first time it happened, right as soon as I started peeing, I woke up right away. But the second time, I woke up in a puddle.

20:14 Drew Is there anything else, anything going on in your life, major something going on? Nothing.

20:21 Adam Let me say this too, and Drew, don't you have a random events coalesce in a something, something, something?

20:28 Drew What?

20:29 Adam What's your random events coalesce?

20:31 Drew Oh, oh, oh, random events segregate non-randomly. There you go. Like you're flipping a coin, it doesn't go heads, tails, heads, tails, heads, tails, it goes tails, tails, tails, tails, heads, it runs in series.

20:43 Adam Well, what I'm saying is, is if you wet the bed twice in five years, it could be in the same week.

20:49 Drew It's a little bit, yeah, possible, a little trickier if I'm not wrong.

20:52 Adam All right, but here's the other thing too. I believe that the first one makes the second one much easier. It loosens you up, it starts weighing, you start thinking about it a little bit, do you know what I'm saying?

21:05 Drew Well, here's what I would say. This is somebody who's never had a bedwetting, I do know what you're saying, but I would say not only that, but the possibility here is that somebody has something medical going on. I would not ascribe that to any of these. I would say either some bladder issues, maybe some urethral infection, or I would look at metabolic problems whereby he's producing too much urine too fast. There's a lot of them. What are the doctors there? Yeah, those are kind of common medical problems. Some are called diabetes occipitus.

21:28 Adam Let me say this, chicken little.

21:32 Drew Diabetes mellitus, diabetes occipitus, these are common conditions.

21:35 Adam You're freaking this guy out. Well, listen to me, why don't you see if it happens one more time? I don't know if you're drunk when you're going to bed or you're having a sleeping disorder or something like that.

21:48 Well, I have sleeping disorders but...

21:50 Drew From what? What do you mean sleeping disorders?

21:53 I just, I mean, I can't sleep and when I sleepwalk all the time and I wake up and I'm dreaming but I think I'm awake and I see people in front of me and even though I'm sleeping I think I'm awake.

22:05 Drew How long have you had that for?

22:06 My whole life. I remember since I was about like nine I had to get up and run around the house screaming until somebody woke me up.

22:12 I could have fallen in you.

22:15 Drew You could have tipped us off on that one. That makes this a little bit different. Do you want any medication right now?

22:19 No, I'm not on any medication.

22:21 Drew But it does make a little different because if you're having that trouble with that sort of sleep-wake sort of interface you may have in your mind thought you were up peeing at the toilet and pow, off you go.

22:31 Yeah, so.

22:33 Adam Alright, so why don't you look into the sleeping disorder though? They have all kinds of clinics and programs and things like that.

22:39 Drew Yeah, absolutely. Those are called night terrors he's having.

22:42 Adam Even when it's not a terror?

22:44 Drew Went around the house screaming.

22:46 Adam Oh, well that part, yeah, but even later he's more casual about it. Like he just gets up, he walks around, or at least that's the way he was describing it. What the hell? I couldn't, how deep do you got to be in? Didn't sleepwalking used to be more popular, or was that just some sitcom convention where people would sleepwalk?

23:05 Drew It was, no, it was as popular as Souffle.

23:08 Adam Humor. Right.

23:09 Drew Sleepwalking. And then Poconuts hit over the head. Those are all things that were in the same category.

23:13 Adam Gone the way of the dodo. All right, let's take a break. Can we, Drew?

23:17 Drew Do you want me to stay, do you want me to disconnect out here, or do you want to keep doing it?

23:22 Adam I'd like to get the screen fired up on this side.

23:24 Drew I am off.

23:26 Adam All right, we'll take ourselves a quick break. Dr. Drew over there in DC me in LA. Orlando Jones coming out on Sunday and, oh, I was going to sign off for a second. We'll be right back after this. Dude, you got issues.

23:41 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

23:54 Adam Yeah, buddy, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there in Washington, DC. That is phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Yeah, I took a leak during the break, Drew, and I forgot to get the computer started.

24:07 Drew No.

24:11 Adam The screen is blacker than Orlando Jones.

24:13 Drew Okay, so we're gonna do mine again.

24:15 Adam Yeah, we better do yours again.

24:16 I gotta get it all up, so hang on a second.

24:18 Adam Don't be scared to hang up on these punks, though, Drew. Orlando Jones, by the way, coming in Sunday night. Orlando's done a lot of good work, lots of movies. You'd be surprised how many movies he was in.

24:30 Drew Has he done Loveline? Seems like we had him a long time ago.

24:35 Adam It seems like he's come in before. I see a feel like I know him, and maybe that's just because I've seen a lot of the movies he was in, but he was really good in like, you ever see Drumline? Mm-hmm.

24:47 He was really good at that.

24:48 Drew Really good, I agree with you.

24:49 Adam Yeah, he's a really talented guy. And then Dave Navarro coming in here on Monday.

24:55 All right, Drew, you ready to rock?

24:57 Drew Within seconds. Coming up.

24:59 Adam He can only kiss Orlando Jones' ass so long, Drew.

25:02 Drew I'll kiss your...

25:03 Adam And what about his work when he was the 7-Up guy? Man, that's gotta be tough to be the second, you know, the replacement black guy for 7-Up.

25:15 Okay.

25:16 Adam All right.

25:16 What about more bands?

25:17 Drew What about more bands? Concentrating on this thing. Oh, we forgot to do the bands. That one's better than corn. What's that? Duh-duh. Yeah. Adam's not cool enough to know about that band. So anyway, here we go, Ivy, who's 22.

25:34 Adam What's happening, Ivy?

25:36 Not much. My boyfriend is trying to tell me that you can get cancer from having sex with someone with an uncircumcised penis. Is that true?

25:43 Drew Adam, is that true?

25:44 Adam Well, here's the deal. Drew was talking about the spreading the warts, which then lead to like cervical cancer. And that's the tenuous connection.

25:55 Drew That's the connection is that they've shown statistically that they could reduce the incidence of genital warts if they did more circumcision. And given that genital warts is the cause of cervical cancer, maybe we could reduce the incidence of cervical cancer, but it's not as though you're getting cancer from the uncircumcised penis.

26:12 Okay, that's what I thought.

26:15 Drew Yeah, which a circumcised penis can have also. If you look hard, they can have that, yeah.

26:20 Adam Yeah. All right, so technically your boyfriend's right, but practically you're okay.

26:27 There you go.

26:28 Drew Oh, I got him on hold.

26:29 It worked.

26:29 Drew It worked.

26:30 Adam What happened, Drew? Drew, remember I was talking about dumb people making a lot of noise?

26:36 Drew Yeah, I know, I was a little slow in the draw there.

26:37 Adam I know, I'm just talking about, Drew, I can hear you thinking.

26:41 Drew Oh, sorry.

26:42 Adam I don't know who you're talking to. You're talking to Anderson, you're talking to yourself?

26:45 Drew No, I'm doing six things at once here, and that's the way you're hearing it, and Anderson asked me to speak directly into the mic. My computer is like six feet over the other side, I have to turn my head to the side to get to the computer, and so on, so there we go.

26:57 Adam That's a good audible example of turning your head to the side, Drew.

27:00 Drew Natalie, who is 19. I have to turn my head to the side to read the goddamn computer.

27:06 Why don't you put it in front of you? Because the wires won't reach.

27:12 Adam All right, Natalie, what's up?

27:15 Hi. Please, I just want to say that I love your show.

27:19 Adam Thanks.

27:19 I listen to you like all the time. And yeah, basically, okay, that was kind of a fake question, but what I really wanted to ask you is, if molestation, like, if that can lead to like any other psychological problems in the future?

27:34 Drew All kinds, lots of different kinds. And at the end of the day, we need to talk to her. Yeah.

27:38 Because when I was like six, I was molested and like I have like a lot of issues.

27:44 Drew Yeah, of course. It changes the wiring in your brain. It changes how you trust other people, how you relate to them, how your arousal circuitry is wired up. It leads to difficulty in relationship, trouble in intimacy, sexual issues, and often even personality disorder. So yeah, very, very common and very difficult. Needs a lot of treatment.

28:00 Yeah, like I've like wanted to get therapy and stuff, but like my dad's like totally against like psychiatry and all that, so.

28:08 Drew And some of you are not seeing a psychiatrist, you're seeing a social worker. Because they make good, they make good therapists, a lot of them.

28:13 Adam And your dad, well, who did the molesting?

28:16 My grandfather.

28:17 He may have been your dad.

28:19 Adam On your dad's side?

28:21 Drew Yeah, he may have gotten the dad in the crossfire.

28:24 But we don't talk to him anymore.

28:25 Adam That seems appropriate. Yeah, your dad's kind of an idiot, though. A, his dad took a pass at you, so that's bizarre. And then secondly, he doesn't want to get you any help. He wants it to go away. No, you have to get some help.

28:42 Yeah, like I told him, I was like, oh, I'm fine. I'm not affected. But like, it's like, it's a lot of things, like I'm anorexic and like, sometimes I'm like, if I stop and get really depressed, it's just really, yeah.

28:53 Adam Oh, how many times did this happen?

28:56 Um, like for like about a year, every time I go there.

29:00 Adam Is that old guy dead yet?

29:02 No, I wish.

29:03 Adam Yeah, it's too bad. What happened? How old is he?

29:07 Uh, like 60, 70.

29:09 Adam Yeah, oh yeah, he's probably gonna go on forever.

29:12 Drew Say he lives to molest again.

29:14 Adam Yeah, no, any other, do you have, did your brother have brothers and sisters or are there other kids you have?

29:21 Yeah, I have a sister.

29:23 Adam Did she get molested by him?

29:24 No, like that's why, I was like too afraid to say anything but then like I kind of like thought about her and I was like, well, I have to like protect her because I didn't want that to happen to her, so I like told my parents.

29:36 Adam Yeah, all right, yeah, you gotta get some therapy. I'm sorry, and you don't have to listen to your parents. I mean, you're, what, she's 19 now, she's smarter than her dad is, go get some therapy and get yourself corrected and what? Get yourself corrected.

29:52 Drew Get yourself fixed.

29:53 Adam Get an alignment, go to the chiropractor. Let me say this, Drew, you know, getting molested by an old guy is just one, two, three punch. It's A, you're molested, B, it's a dude, and C, his whole body looks like a scrotum sack.

30:08 Drew We call that shattering.

30:10 Adam That's shattering. Yeah, I mean, once in a while, and people like to do that thing where it's like, look, you know, if you're an 11-year-old boy and you got that 17-year-old female babysitter who wants to go down on you, there's no difference between a molestationist, ha ha ha, grandpa, ha ha, ho ho, grandpa doing it to you is way worse, especially when grandpa is old and a dude.

30:35 Drew And there's worse than that. There's ritualistic abuse by your siblings and your dad. You know, there's all kinds of really crazy stuff people do.

30:42 Adam Yeah.

30:42 Drew It's worse. The effect's worse. You're right, it's a dose.

30:45 Adam Yeah, it's a dose. It's like poison. You just get a higher dose of arsenic. All right, who are we talking to?

30:52 Drew James, who is 20.

30:53 Is that him hanging up?

31:00 Drew He freaked out. No, I think that was a real call. He was saying that he picks up hookers, even though he's, check again on that call, see if he's back yet, but picks up hookers, even though he's married for now he's gone. But that's the kind of stuff I'm here in Washington talking about, which is the-

31:14 Adam Oh, really? Well, what's going on with your sexual addiction conference?

31:20 Drew It's stuff I've been dealing with for quite some time. A lot of, it's all the stuff you know. Listen, our show is just a sort of a gathering place for people with sexual addiction compulsions. I was, you know, what's case has been on my mind for a long time is, not a long time, last couple of days, is that woman that called up who was a therapist, also a prostitute. And that, this is, to me, is so emblematic. No, but it's so emblematic of how screwed up our culture is that this woman can maintain a defensive posture where she doesn't even understand how profoundly disturbed that is. And it's gonna take some horrible, horrible consequence before she really comes to terms with it.

31:57 Adam Yeah, and have you learned anything at this conference?

32:02 Drew You've been listening to speakers, yeah. What the basic, the interesting thing I'm finding is that there's a growing, what I would, what's called consilience, a coming together of different disciplines into the same sort of, talking about the same thing in the same way. The anthropology and biology and psychology and addiction and attachment, they're all coming in together and starting to talk about the same systems and the brain and the same phenomenon in people. And it is the stuff we've been talking about on Loveline forever.

32:28 Adam All right.

32:28 Drew You should feel good about it, Adam.

32:30 Adam I feel great.

32:31 Drew You're at the front end. You're at the leading edge.

32:33 Adam I'm spearheading the cause against sexual abuse, yes?

32:37 Drew Yes, yes. And this now is Archie who's supporting your spearhead. He is 18.

32:41 Adam Archie? Hello? You giving my spear some head?

32:46 Hi, Adam. What's up?

32:47 Adam What's happening, Archie?

32:49 Not much. I love your show, guys. I listen to you guys every night, even though you guys come on at 2 a.m. over here in Detroit.

32:55 Drew Nice.

32:55 How you doing?

32:57 Adam How are you? Do you work at night, Archie?

32:59 Do you record it?

33:01 I get off work at around 11 or 12.

33:04 Drew 18?

33:05 Wow.

33:06 Drew You're 18.

33:06 Caller Wow. He's working.

33:08 Adam He's got to work.

33:09 Of course he got to.

33:11 Adam What's up, Archie?

33:12 Nothing much.

33:15 Adam Why'd you call tonight, brother? Archie?

33:19 Yeah.

33:20 Adam Are you drunk? Did you drink like half a box of wine or something after work?

33:27 No.

33:27 Adam All right, do you have a question tonight?

33:30 My girlfriend has had problems with being intimate ever since she's had an abortion. It's really causing a strain on our relationship.

33:40 Drew How long ago was the abortion?

33:43 About a month and a half ago.

33:46 Drew Not an unusual reaction at all. Although there are people that say there's no such thing as a forced abortion reaction, I hear about all the time. People get depressed, they feel remorseful, they get conflicted, and they will often have all sorts of symptomatology around their sexuality. So this is sort of typical of that reaction, often in my experience associated with a mood problem like she's getting depressed.

34:10 Adam By the way, Archie is going to be hosting the Late Late Show on Monday. He's doing three nights. I'm looking forward to that.

34:19 Drew Why not?

34:20 Adam Why not?

34:21 Drew It's a good time.

34:22 Adam All right, let's take a break, Drew.

34:24 Drew All right, yeah, you're right.

34:24 Adam We're supposed to go out about this time, aren't we?

34:28 Drew I know, but this Late Late Show has got you for clumped.

34:31 Adam Yeah, I'm tired. No, I'm fine. It's just, I don't have the board lit up here, so I'm not motivated.

34:37 Drew Okay, do you want me to get off this?

34:40 Adam Yeah, I think we'll try to work it. Yeah, I know what you're saying. We'll try to work this out during the commercial.

34:44 Drew Okay, so I'm signing off, off. There we go.

34:47 Adam All right.

34:47 Drew And you work it out.

34:48 Adam All right, we'll be right back after this. It's Adam.

34:58 Drew And I'm Dr. Drew.

34:59 Adam Here to talk about Axe Deodorant Body Spray.

35:01 Drew Yes, sir.

35:02 Adam You spray that on, you give stink the Axe. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. And the madam that's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew in Washington, DC gonna be the keynote speaker at the Conference for Sexual Addiction. Yes, Drew?

35:29 Drew Yes, Adam.

35:31 Adam And where's that taking place, in like a five-man tent somewhere deep in the woods?

35:38 Drew Not in the woods, but yeah, yeah. How'd you know about the tent?

35:41 Adam That's where they usually have the addiction.

35:42 Drew Oh, no, wait a minute. It's on Capitol Hill. Sorry.

35:48 Adam Oh, big time.

35:49 Drew Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

35:51 Adam Yeah, you and the coked up models. Gotta talk to Congress.

35:55 Drew Yeah, no, it's not for Congress, no, it's for professionals.

35:59 Adam But where in Capitol Hill? Is there out?

36:02 Drew Just at a hotel right off the Capitol, but it's really kind of cool. I mean, I've gotten to know this town pretty well over the last couple of years. I run the mall every time I come here.

36:12 Adam Been jogging that mall.

36:13 Drew It's the greatest. This beautiest town is so, it's like Paris here. It's a really, you gotta come here sometime, Adam.

36:20 Adam No, listen, I've took a tour of the White House.

36:23 Drew I remember, I ran past the White House today. I thought to myself, I'm running past the White House. Corolla gets a private tour for God's sake.

36:30 Adam Yeah, me and the Afghan wigs for like 1997 or something like that. But the point is, is yeah, it is beautiful. It's got some pretty crappy parts too. I mean, ironically, lots of crime and all that kind of stuff going on in DC. But if you're in a nice part of DC it's pretty amazing. All right, so Drew, I tried to fix a computer during the break. We got nowhere.

36:58 Drew Dude, I got you covered. Here's Jane of Seventeen.

37:00 Adam Jane? What's up?

37:06 Drew This is going right along.

37:08 Adam Yeah, by the way, why do people seem to sort of almost instinctively understand when equipment's bad and compound things by making it that much harder to get out of the blocks? You know what I'm saying?

37:19 Drew That's random events segregating non-randomly again.

37:21 Adam Thank you. Go ahead, Jane.

37:23 Caller All right. So my question was me and the girls were talking and we're talking about how like girls, when they sweep around, they, like at a young age, they can't really conceive when they get older.

37:42 Drew No, it's true that, no, no, no. It's true that early sexual activity is associated with cervical cancer and STDs and that is associated with fertility problems. So, and whether you start early or just do it a lot with a lot of different people, both have adverse impacts on your fertility.

37:59 Adam And it's like we're talking about with the foreskin and the cancer and the HPV and all that good stuff. These things, you have to scratch them like a lotto ticket to get to the truth. And there is some truth. It's not a lie. But when you start scratching it, it becomes like a Scooby-Doo episode. You realize, oh, it was old man Hunter over there who did this. You know what I mean? He was dressed up like a headless horseman. Yeah. Right, right. And you have your answer. You sleep around early. But I think people don't examine it any closer than that. And what ends up happening is it's like, well, it's sort of a God punishes you. It's a sort of a native tribesman sort of approach to it, which is you start early, you wear out your cooch, and then you can't have kids.

38:50 Drew You know what I'm saying? Listen, the least common domineers always were people revert. They revert to primitive man in all situations in terms of trying to understand life.

38:59 Adam Right.

39:00 Drew All right. Here's Riley, 17.

39:02 Caller Hello?

39:03 Adam Riley.

39:04 Caller Hi.

39:04 Adam What's up?

39:07 Caller I have a third nipple.

39:09 Caller Yeah.

39:09 Drew Good times.

39:10 Caller And it kind of scares any girls that I've been with.

39:14 Drew No.

39:15 Caller Yeah.

39:15 Drew Well, first of all, you haven't been with any girls.

39:17 Caller Yeah, I have.

39:19 Adam Well, hold on, Drew. He has. Riley's a name that'll get you laid about three years early.

39:23 Drew And by the way, that was, how dare you?

39:26 Adam Oh yeah. No. He's been with women.

39:29 Caller Oh, oh, I have.

39:30 Adam He's a good looking kid this Riley.

39:32 Caller Oh yeah.

39:34 Adam You're blind, Riley?

39:36 Caller Hello?

39:37 Adam Are you blonde?

39:38 Caller Yeah, I am.

39:40 Adam I don't know why Riley is a blonde kid's name, but it is. Riley's not a dark skin or dark haired kid's name. No Jew named Riley.

39:50 Caller No, I don't like Jews.

39:51 Adam Big nappy helmet head. What's up? You don't like Jews? What's wrong with Jews?

39:58 Caller No, not Jews.

40:09 Adam Oh yeah, see. That was done with all the subtlety of a suicide bomber. That was like an Al Qaeda prank caller there.

40:20 Drew Let's go back to our Trauma Survivors, it's better.

40:22 Adam We should never talk to a male between the age of 13 and 42. That's my new policy, Drew.

40:29 Drew 34.

40:30 Adam 34. Who's up?

40:33 Drew Okay, Katie. Katie's 24.

40:34 Adam What's up, Katie? What's happening, baby doll?

40:38 Caller I just had a question. First of all, I want to say you guys are great. And my legal grandfather is a child molester.

40:47 Drew Nice.

40:48 Adam Good times.

40:49 Caller And he's not-

40:50 Drew Is he a professional or amateur?

40:54 Caller I guess you would say professional.

40:56 Drew He's a pro, huh?

40:57 Adam Is he in jail?

40:59 Caller No, he's actually never been caught.

41:01 Adam Oh, crafty.

41:03 Drew Did he do something to you?

41:05 Caller Yeah, honestly, I don't really remember any. Like, I remember a few things, nothing like what anyone would consider horrible, horrible, but I remember a few things.

41:15 Drew Well, it may be horrible just being around a guy like that.

41:19 Caller Oh, yeah.

41:20 Drew And so somebody, you might have had good instincts, may have been a healthy person, and sort of done your best to stay away from him, and yet still be made to feel awful around him without being significant. Are your relationships okay?

41:30 Caller Um, yeah, yeah.

41:32 Drew So you're able to have relationships, is not like chaos or drama in your life?

41:36 Caller Yeah, I mean, I'm okay. Like, I mean, I feel okay to talk about it, you know, like, I don't feel like I remember.

41:43 Drew I don't know, the talking about it's not the issue, it's the action, is the, do you, are you able to have stable intimacies? And if you are, then he probably didn't do much to you.

41:52 Caller Okay. All right. My question is, though, is, is there a way that, like, we can get him in jail? Because it's a big family thing. I mean, he did horrible things to my mother. There are 17 people that we know of.

42:10 Adam Really?

42:11 Caller Yes.

42:12 Drew Why don't you, why don't you call law enforcement?

42:15 Adam Why don't you collect that evidence in those people and call the cops?

42:20 Drew Or even just hand the names over to law enforcement, and let them handle it?

42:23 Caller Well, according to like what I've been told, because everything I've been told is through mainly my grandmother. And she has told me that because of statute of limitation, that everything basically means nothing.

42:39 Adam I don't think they have, I don't think they have statute of limitations on that kind of stuff.

42:43 Drew I agree with you. And we're talking about the grandmother that's married to this grandpa, right?

42:47 Adam Well, not necessarily.

42:48 Caller He's not, she's not anymore, but she knew about-

42:51 Drew But she thought it was wise to marry this a-hole, yeah. So she's got problems too.

42:56 Adam Hold on, hold on. Put her on hold for a second. First off, it's like getting information from an informant in the joint. You know what I mean? Talking to this grandma about it. I mean, you have to consider the source. And by the way, I guarantee she's no Clarence Darrow, this old broad who decided to make a family with Captain Molester over here. You go get that stuff.

43:19 Drew Captain Kanka Molester.

43:20 Adam Yes, go get that stuff together and take this guy to court, please. He's an animal. Or by the way, and I'm fine with killing guys like this, too, by the way. I know people are shocked by that. Like, yes, he molested 17 people. We can't waste a bullet on this old fart's head. Really? Oh yeah, well, that makes you just as bad as, oh, by the way, who started this just as bad? Yeah, look, yeah, you got an animal that's out of control that's biting everyone who rides by on a bicycle and then you put a bullet in it. Oh, now you're just as bad? What are you talking about? World War II got started. They bombed Pearl Harbor and then the Germans decided to start exterminating people. We went over there and put a bullet in them. Oh, now we're just as bad? Are you high? They needed to have a bullet put in them. Just as bad? Just as bad? We're 10 times as good. The guy sits around and does nothing is almost as bad. You got to be doing it yourself to be just as bad. I just put a bullet in this old ass head. Put him out of his misery. And by the way, is that such a bad thing? Criminal for suggesting that. And secondly, I think you'd be doing him a favor. I really do. I really do. You're walking around with the knowledge that you goose half your family.

44:42 Drew Well, there are people that can be treated. And if you're motivated to treat them.

44:46 Adam He ain't one of them.

44:47 Drew Yeah. I mean, people, I think everyone deserves a chance to get better.

44:51 Adam Yeah, that was 20 years ago. That's when the Dick Van Dyke show was on.

44:55 Drew Cameron's 21. Cameron. What's up?

45:01 Adam Cameron, such a pussy voice, a reason over there.

45:05 Drew Cameron. Yeah, go ahead.

45:08 Caller Um, well, about six weeks ago, um, I was having, attempting to have a hair course with my husband and he ripped.

45:18 Adam Mm-mm.

45:19 Drew What, ripped in half? What do you mean ripped?

45:20 Adam A fart.

45:21 Drew He ripped a fart?

45:22 Adam Well, his penis ripped.

45:27 Drew You mean the foreskin? Okay, well, that's why, that's why circumcisions are a good idea because tearing the foreskin is rather a pretty common thing.

45:34 Adam Feel free to say, uh, tore the foreskin, by the way. What do we do, what, Drew, what did we do? Or did we like take a phone and put it back in time? Is that what happened? I feel like I'm talking to like prehistoric man. He ripped, he ripped his baby rip. Well, anyway, we have to start exploring it.

45:55 Drew Right.

45:55 Adam It ripped off, it ripped in the middle. No, he's sinned, rip, and then fire.

46:02 Drew Right, right, Osiris, God of Love, must've been angry with me.

46:06 Adam I'm really feeling like I can control the, most of the United States with just a torch at this point. I really, I could just start waving it around in the middle of the country.

46:15 Caller People are like, oh, oh, oh, back, back. Yeah.

46:20 Adam Say the guy's foreskin ripped. So is everything 20 questions on this show?

46:25 Drew Yes.

46:26 Adam Okay, let's take a break.

46:29 Drew The fact is, again, the tears on the foreskin are very, very common. The problem is that they tend to recur, and that tends to cause stenosis of the foreskin, so the penis, the head of the penis can't come out of the foreskin, and if it does, it tears again. So when the tearing starts occurring, oftentimes guys have to get a circumcision, and why not? Get the problem taken care of.

46:45 Adam All right, but look, you're telling him, if someone's calling in saying their car's making a noise, and you're saying, well, let's just buy a new one. They can't afford it, perhaps. Maybe they don't need a new one. So you should definitely go talk to a urologist.

46:59 Drew Yes, but you would urge, if the car was gonna give them lots more problems, you'd urge them to get a new one.

47:04 Adam You know, Drew, you can't tell everyone who calls in to get a circumcision, especially when they're 25.

47:09 Drew I'm not telling them to, I'm saying consider it. What else you can do, really?

47:13 Adam Okay, go consult a urologist. Drew, quiet down.

47:16 Drew That's what I'm saying.

47:17 Adam No, that's not what you're saying.

47:18 Drew That's what, they'll cut, they'll cut.

47:21 Adam Okay, I think you gotta sign something first. We'll be right back.

47:25 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up?

48:10 Drew Get it on!

48:14 Caller Freak out! Freak out. Freak out. Get it on and freak out.

48:24 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. Oh, yeah. Dr. Drew in Washington, DC going to Capitol Hill tomorrow in the B room of a Ramada Inn, unfortunately. Not the Capitol Hill you think of. And talking to folks with patches on their sleeves. Lots of dandruff. Keynote speaker at the, what is it called again officially?

48:54 Drew It's got two names. It's the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health. That's its new name. The old name is National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity.

49:03 Adam Mm-hmm. All right, well that'll look good on your brag sheet, Drew.

49:08 Drew Yeah, I'm telling you. But now listen, you have got the calls up on your end?

49:12 Adam Yeah, we fixed it. And guess who fixed it, by the way? You.

49:50 Caller She circles Minnesota.

49:51 Adam She's just sealed her victory for another consecutive week in the football pool at the radio station. All you professional gamblers, take note. We have Junior.

50:23 Drew You know, the guys in the players are, like, if a guy's a fall or a summer, there's betting that goes on accordingly.

50:26 Adam That's right. All right. Drew making a little Late Late Show reference, yes?

50:31 Drew Yeah, giving you an opportunity to sort of jump on that and bring it up.

50:35 Adam Oh, okay. I look, I don't know. I'm here to help the kids, Drew.

50:40 Drew Yeah.

50:41 Adam Okay, I hosted the Late Late Show tonight. There you go. CBS, 1230, I think.

50:47 Caller All right?

50:50 Drew Mm-hmm.

50:50 Caller All right.

50:51 Adam I'm going to pick up some calls now. Drew, you plug it.

50:55 Drew Plug your show?

50:56 Adam No, don't do it.

50:58 Drew Are you ready to go? I'm sorry I missed the part with Kathy Griffin. Who's your other guest?

51:05 Adam Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Producer Lauren.

51:09 Drew How much more Germany or Florida did you play throughout the game? Throughout the show?

51:13 Adam I think I played three rounds. Well, really two rounds, two and a half rounds.

51:18 Drew And how did you do?

51:20 Adam Well, I won the first two and then I let Kathy Griffin play Germany or Florida, and I couldn't help her. I didn't help her and she lost. She lost.

51:32 Drew I don't think people quite got the nuance of it. You know what I mean? They seem to sort of go right from the gut. Like Florida as opposed to going, let's see, Gun, Puppies, Gun Florida. Yeah, you got to put all the pieces together.

51:44 Adam Well, it's that in-studio crowd, Drew. Lowest common denominator.

51:48 Drew But they seem very, again, they seem very receptive.

51:50 Adam Yeah, they were a good crowd tonight. Much better than last night. All right, you ready to rock?

51:55 Drew You know what? As a television viewer, you can't tell that. They both seem receptive.

52:01 Adam Being in the studio, I could tell that tonight's audience was a much better audience. Okay, let's talk to Scott, who's 23 and still a virgin. Scott?

52:12 Caller You got to use that word, huh?

52:14 Adam That's right.

52:14 Caller That's the key word.

52:16 Caller That's harsh.

52:17 Adam Go ahead, buddy.

52:18 Caller I like you guys a lot. I think you're doing a public service. But yeah, I'm 23. What time does it become really odd and abnormal? Because what time is it not?

52:28 Adam About 22.

52:29 Caller Yeah, exactly.

52:33 Adam Scott, you've probably talked yourself right out of many pairs of panties. You probably had a shot, but it's that negative talk. Screw you.

52:45 Drew Is it a value of yours? Do you want to remain a virgin till a certain time of your life?

52:49 Caller Yeah, I'm not a religious man or anything like that. It's just I've had some experiences with casual chances, and it just really fell awful to me. I just can't find anything serious. Felt awful?

53:04 Drew Tell me more about that.

53:06 Caller One time I kind of picked a girl up at a bar, trying to think this is going to be it, and get her home and just kiss my corpse. It was really awful.

53:16 Caller Hold on a second.

53:21 Caller Hold on a second.

53:24 Adam I can't get him off the line. Are you there, Scott?

53:26 Caller Good.

53:28 Adam What's wrong with Scott? It's either bogus or he's just one of these guys. Then he's one of these guys that has that rap. No, I don't think it's a rap. I don't mean a good rap, but I just mean he's got the negative kind of rap that repels people.

53:48 Drew Yeah, some people have trouble connecting. I'm trying to figure this out with him. Either he is picking people that sabotages the possibility that he'll be intimate, or when he gets to the place of intimacy, all the wiring is off and he just feels uncomfortable and can't go on.

54:07 Adam All right, well, let's see. Scott? All right, Drew, now there's something wrong with the phone because the thing is locked up. Scott?

54:16 Drew Oh, for God's sakes.

54:17 Adam All right, I'm going to try another one.

54:19 Caller All right, now.

54:20 Caller No, I just put Scott up. I think you're probably frozen over there, Adam.

54:24 Adam Scott? Yeah, I'm here. All right, so first off, anything wrong with you that we need to know about?

54:31 Drew No, no, no, I mean emotionally.

54:32 Adam No, no, no, no. Wait a minute, Drew. I did mean that.

54:36 Drew Oh, you mean somebody repelling about and repulsive about it. Yeah.

54:38 Adam Do you have like shingles or something?

54:41 Caller No, I don't have sex. I got a lot of time to work out, you know what I mean?

54:44 Adam You see? Yeah, angry.

54:47 Drew Definitely angry. Well, something called schizoaffective, there's things like that that sort of make people sort of withdraw and steep to themselves. Are you a very, very shy person?

54:56 Caller You know, I was, but I've kind of worked hard at overcoming that, you know. I'm a... I was kind of introverted when I was younger.

55:04 Drew What the hell is he listening to?

55:05 Adam I have no idea. It wasn't Gordon Lightfoot. That's all I know. All right, Scott, do you have male friends?

55:14 Caller Yeah.

55:17 Adam Sorry.

55:17 Drew Are you ever thought about... Are you attracted only to women?

55:22 Caller Yeah, completely.

55:24 Drew You are attracted to women.

55:26 Caller Yeah, I can't imagine. I love women a lot. It's just, like I said, I don't know what's up.

55:32 Drew Can't be with one.

55:34 Caller Well, I would, but sometimes the women that seem attracted to me aren't like... you know, strong people. They're kind of like weak-willed, and it kind of makes you... makes me a little ill sometimes. I don't know.

55:47 Drew What does that all mean? Do you hate your mom or something?

55:50 Caller No, I guess part of it maybe is my father didn't always treat my mother real great, but I just don't want that.

55:58 Drew So you saw her as weak-willed?

56:00 Caller Yeah, a little bit.

56:02 Adam What do you do, Scott?

56:05 Caller I work at a university.

56:08 Drew Doing what?

56:11 Caller I'm in one of the...

56:13 Adam One's a rape crisis group?

56:16 Caller No.

56:16 Adam What do you do?

56:19 Caller I work in the parking and transportation office. I know you hate parking people.

56:23 Adam And by the way, that office is four sheets of plywood and a piece of corrugated steel on top. All right, listen, Scott, here's the thing. You're angry. You're super angry. And you freak chicks out. Just quiet down, Drew. There's something about your personality that's repelling women. Also, you're not trying hard enough because there's always somebody out there if you wanted somebody. But your standards are high, and so is your anger level. And you're not going to get the kind of chicks or attract the kind of chicks that you want to attract.

56:56 Drew But he has become his father. And as his father, he's always going to attract people that are like mom, that he's considered weak-willed, and he's disgusted by them, and therefore he can't be with them.

57:06 Adam Scott, you're in for a very long sexual haul, unless you get a little therapy and resolve some feelings.

57:14 Caller Is there alcohol a problem?

57:16 Adam I expect a very short, curt, smart-ass answer out of Scott before we hang up with him. So go ahead.

57:22 Drew Is alcohol a problem in your life, Scott?

57:24 Caller It's not a problem. I don't let it affect my work.

57:27 Drew Is alcohol in your family?

57:31 Caller Yeah, I wouldn't say there's any real bad alcoholics, but there are a lot of heavy drinkers.

57:34 Drew Do you feel like you maybe have that tendency yourself?

57:38 Caller Yeah.

57:39 Drew So kind of keep an eye on that. That's kind of what I hear here.

57:43 Adam Also, Scott needs some, I know he says he has buddies, but he needs male buddies. His male buddies should be networking and setting them up. You know what I mean?

57:53 Drew Yeah, absolutely.

57:54 Adam He needs, there has to be some social interaction. For Christ's sake, didn't he say he worked at a college?

58:00 Drew University, yeah.

58:02 Adam Oh my God. And he went there.

58:04 Caller Yeah, I graduated and it just, yeah, never happened for me.

58:08 Adam Okay, but look, first off, stop looking at yourself as cursed. Secondly, deal with the anger issues and the feelings toward mom and you'll be fine.

58:20 Caller That's pretty simple, but okay.

58:21 Drew The symptoms will go away if you actually deal with them.

58:23 Adam Just get rid of them. Listen, I hope your hymen is the size of a trampoline.

58:31 Drew There's the...

58:32 Adam Remember I said...

58:33 Drew You should have a hymen the size of a trampoline.

58:36 Adam It should grow over your head so you lose your sight.

58:41 Drew No, no, no. What? Yeah, you said the short, Kurt, smart-ass answer. You got it.

58:45 Adam Yeah, look, Scott, just go run along then. Just go beat off and quit calling the show.

58:53 Drew You should have a hymen the size of a trampoline. And an anvil should try to bounce on it.

58:58 Adam All right, Drew. By the way, would you get rid of Scott? Anyone who can get rid of Scott?

59:03 Drew It's Anderson, because I can't. Let me go. Why don't you sign off and let me sign on?

59:08 Caller Yes.

59:10 Drew Anderson, you're in. You've got to sign him off.

59:12 Adam Get rid of Scott, would you?

59:13 Drew Scott's gone. Your screen is frozen.

59:14 Adam All right, why don't you get rid of him? Ten minutes ago.

59:16 Drew I know, but then Anderson, you guys, but Anderson, you guys got to, he was doing drops, Adam. He was doing drops of him.

59:22 Caller Yeah, I was.

59:23 Drew Those are drops. But Anderson.

59:26 Adam Anderson, don't F with me.

59:28 Caller I'm not. I wasn't.

59:31 Adam I don't know what's going on.

59:32 Caller You were talking to him.

59:33 Adam That's what I thought.

59:35 Drew Drop it off at your end. Get off the computer at your end. I'll be on, okay?

59:38 Adam Drew, was he doing drops or not?

59:40 Drew I thought it was drops.

59:42 Caller I don't even know anymore, guys. I'm sorry.

59:44 Caller I can't tell.

59:45 Adam All right, that means he was doing drops.

59:48 Caller All right.

59:49 Adam And Anderson, drop some acid and give the phone back to Drew, would you, for Christ's sake?

59:53 Drew Yeah, they have to drop off the computer at their end because you can't do it from, you can't drop off from your end.

59:59 Adam All right. So my side froze.

1:00:01 Drew On your side, just push Control-Alt-Delete. Just push those three buttons simultaneously.

1:00:05 Adam That's going to take 20 minutes.

1:00:07 Drew We got to have this in.

1:00:08 Adam Control-Alt-Delete. And then where's the delete one? That to the left? To the right?

1:00:14 Caller Right.

1:00:15 Adam Oh, there it is. That's the one that's like the Del Taco Del?

1:00:18 Drew You a Mormon?

1:00:19 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:00:21 What the hell is that for?

1:00:22 Adam I just did it. Anderson's gone haywire tonight. He's like that robot on the ship in Alien.

1:00:30 Caller He's just spun out.

1:00:34 Drew Let's just call him Hal. Let's call him Hal, said Anderson.

1:00:37 Adam I hit the Control-Alt-Delete during something.

1:00:39 Caller We're good.

1:00:40 Caller Just turn the monitor off and don't look at it. Just focus on the sound.

1:00:43 Drew Anderson liked my losing it on Scarborough.

1:00:47 Caller He was great last night, Adam. Did you see that?

1:00:49 Adam Really?

1:00:49 Caller He was clapping and pointing at the monitor and yelling. It was awesome.

1:00:54 Adam There's a side to Drew that will scare all of us, believe you me.

1:00:58 Caller I wish he would come out on the show a little more often.

1:01:00 Adam Scarborough, well, he doesn't get paid to do those other shows. You pay him, he shuts up. Scarborough is the guy who has vaginas for eyes. His eyes look like the vagina of a nine-year-old.

1:01:13 Caller Oh my God.

1:01:15 Adam Am I right?

1:01:16 Drew If you say so.

1:01:17 Adam Drew, you know what I'm talking about?

1:01:19 Drew I know what you're talking about, the eyes with no eyelids kind of thing.

1:01:24 Adam It is if, you know what it's like? It's like you took a nine-year-old girl and slid under her on a mechanic's creeper. Nice.

1:01:30 Caller That's what his eyes look like.

1:01:32 Drew I'm delighted that you bring it up that way.

1:01:34 Adam Well, don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about.

1:01:37 Drew Now, Anderson, I don't think you're disconnected at the computer at your end.

1:01:42 Caller Yeah, we're completely shut down.

1:01:44 Drew Thank you.

1:01:45 Caller Well, I'm trying to log on there.

1:01:46 Adam Let's play a song.

1:01:49 Drew No, I want to talk about your Killborn thing, your Late Late Show. Are you really?

1:01:59 Caller No.

1:02:00 Drew You'd be great.

1:02:01 Adam I'm seeing the theme from Taboo 2.

1:02:03 Drew Why not?

1:02:05 Adam Why not? Because I don't want a big hook to grab me and drag me off stage. That's why not. Are you lying?

1:02:13 Drew What are you going to do tomorrow?

1:02:15 Adam I have no idea.

1:02:16 Drew No, that's good.

1:02:17 Adam You're kidding? I talked about squirrel crap for ten minutes today. I got nothing.

1:02:23 Drew You have no idea what you're going to talk about tomorrow?

1:02:26 Adam You mean in the opening?

1:02:28 Drew Do more Germany or Florida.

1:02:29 Adam I don't know if I can do that. No, I have like a man on the street bit. Yeah, but you know, it's weird. You got to kill like 13, 14 minutes, you know? It's a lot of junk. It's a lot of dancing. But I think we're going to do a live remote to Vegas, do some home improvement questions from Vegas. They told me they have some sort of live feed to Vegas that they've always wanted to use and never wanted to use it. So I fired up and I just decided let's just take home improvement questions from Vegas. Why not? So I got that and I got that and as far as the opening monologue stuff goes, I got nothing. So I'll go figure that out tomorrow. I don't feel like I can do the news, you know? I don't want to do any Paris Hilton jokes.

1:03:21 Drew But you could do a little bit, like the debates or that night stuff.

1:03:24 Adam I know, but then I'd have to do the writer's jokes and I'd feel weird. And I just, I can't do it. I don't think I'm any good at that. All right, what's going on?

1:03:33 Drew Well, I can't get this, you're not, they're not up at their end. My computer shows that either the computer's not on. Well, it's not saying busy, it's just not hooking on. So that means the computer's off at their end.

1:03:44 Adam All right.

1:03:45 Drew So Anderson, how about we...

1:03:46 Caller Yeah, how about we go to Rory? He has fantasies about being raped and molested. He wants to know.

1:03:51 Drew Fair enough.

1:03:52 Caller She wants to know what Rory does.

1:03:54 All right.

1:03:54 Adam How old is Rory?

1:03:55 Caller She's 18.

1:03:56 All right.

1:03:57 Adam What's up, Rory?

1:03:58 Hi, I'm 18. I just want to say that I like your guys' shows a lot. It's very interesting.

1:04:05 Adam Thanks.

1:04:07 Caller Ever since I started becoming... like having sexual thoughts, I'm a version I've never had sex before, but ever since I've thought about it, I've always had fantasies and I've actually masturbated a couple of times to either being raped or sexually molested. I have no previous...

1:04:28 Drew What do you mean by sexually molested?

1:04:30 Caller Like someone fondling me or like... I have dreams where I'll be a little girl and an older man or someone will be fondling me or touching me inappropriately.

1:04:45 Drew Do you think I've ever had that?

1:04:47 Adam Nothing like that ever happened to you?

1:04:49 Caller No, I haven't had any molestation or anything.

1:04:53 Adam Alright, I'm going to say that there's a fair amount of this going on out there as far as the fantasy part goes with women and the rape part with women and it's more prevalent than we would think in women, in the population of women that weren't victims.

1:05:08 Drew I agree with you. I agree. It's a relatively... It's not the healthiest of impulses but it's a common impulse.

1:05:14 Caller Do you think like I have psychological problems or like I should probably get help or something?

1:05:19 Drew No, not necessarily. Not necessarily.

1:05:21 Adam From the tone of your voice, it sounds like something's going on.

1:05:23 Drew That's a different thing, yeah. What's going on, Roy? Do you come from an alcoholic family or are there other things going on that might need some help?

1:05:31 Caller Well, I mean, my parents are separated and I haven't seen my dad in like 13 years but like, I don't, I'm talking in a lower voice right now because my grandma's in the other room and I don't want her to hear.

1:05:48 Adam By the way, if you sleep in the same house with your grandma, it's a bad sign. It's a bad sign, yeah. Why are you living with your grandma?

1:05:57 Caller Because she's really sick and I have to take care of her.

1:06:00 Adam You have to take care of her. So you're kind of being parentalized pretty early.

1:06:06 Caller Yeah, well I have a brother who's disabled and I have to take care of him and my grandma and we live in a house and I haven't seen my dad and my mom. She works in upstate New York and I see her almost every day.

1:06:22 Drew What's wrong?

1:06:23 Adam Yeah, I want to know what's wrong with your brother.

1:06:26 Caller He was in a car accident seven years ago and he had like half of his brain was removed and he now can't eat correctly and he can't tie his two laces. The doctor said he basically has a mind like a five-year-old now.

1:06:47 Drew Yeah, that's more like a cat, a five-year-old cat.

1:06:51 Adam So Rory... Thanks, Drew, that's nice.

1:06:55 Drew No, but you have to realize what she's dealing with is that when people say things like a five-year-old, five-year-olds are sort of autonomous and can think and this is not that. This is somebody who really brain is not working.

1:07:06 Adam Right. So Rory's got a tough road to hoe.

1:07:10 Drew Yeah, and she's been parentalized, like you said, and of course, feelings of aggression and all sorts of feelings about powerlessness are going to emerge. So yeah, there's a lot to be dealt with here. I don't know whether you have the energy or the time really to focus on yourself right now because your life has put you in a position where you are a caretaker and some people are really relying on you. It's not fair. I think you ought to have some help. You deserve a life, too, and you ought to work on finding a way to get a life away from being just the caretaker, but that's going to take some doing, it sounds like.

1:07:39 Adam All right. You're a good person, Rory, and don't beat yourself up about the thoughts that you're having. As long as you're not acting out on anything, that's fine.

1:07:48 Caller I just want to say that you guys make my day. You're really funny and I enjoy listening to your show.

1:07:54 Adam Thanks. You make it all worthwhile, Rory.

1:07:58 Caller And, Adam, you're probably one of the funniest guys in the world. I watch The Man Show almost every single day and I loved it. And I was completely upset when they switched the guys. I think I stopped watching it, I boycotted it now, and I don't watch it at all. I just want to say that you make the best of it.

1:08:15 Adam Anderson, please, that's enough now. I'm starting to get wood. Thanks, Rory. God bless you. Doing the Lord's work over there. All right. Let's take a little break. Yes, Drew? Yes, Adam. All right, we'll try to figure out Drew's computer. He's over there in Washington, DC. I'm out here in LA. We'll be right back after this. Hey, yo, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there, Washington, DC. Going to be the keynote speaker tomorrow with the Society of Sexual Compulsion and Addiction. All right there, buddy boy. We're very proud. Now, is your screen on? Is your computer up? Or is it all Anderson now?

1:09:06 Drew It's all Anderson.

1:09:07 Adam All right, buddy, because we're having some technical difficulties tonight. My computer's down, Drew's computer's down. So it's up to Anderson. Go ahead, Anderson. Tell us who's up next.

1:09:18 Caller I'm thrilled. This is great. Here we go.

1:09:21 Drew Get a little positive attitude, Anderson. Come on.

1:09:23 Caller I'm just nervous about picking the wrong one and getting...

1:09:25 Adam No, who cares?

1:09:26 Caller Just pick one. This Tasha gets physically nauseous when she's near her dad. She's never molested and she wants to know what's going on. 20 years old.

1:09:35 Drew If you're going forward, all you got to do is give them the name and the age and you pick.

1:09:38 Adam That's all. Go ahead, Tasha. What's up?

1:09:43 Caller Hi. I've been in this problem since I was like, as long as I can remember. I have really gross feelings toward my father. I can't get close to him physically at all. I can't get near him if he tries to hug me or anything.

1:09:56 Drew Is there something weird about him?

1:09:59 Caller Yeah, because I don't have it with anybody else.

1:10:02 Drew What's weird about him?

1:10:04 Caller I don't know.

1:10:09 Drew My question is, is there something about the way he treats you, like he's kind of a weird guy or he's an intrusive guy and you feel like he's sort of invading you when he comes around?

1:10:17 Caller Exactly. It's more like an invasive type thing. I can't see him hugging anybody, especially my five-year-old niece. I can't even watch it. I just feel gross like I'm going to puke type thing. I feel like he wants to hug her more of a thrill for him as opposed to like a fatherly or grand fatherly type thing.

1:10:35 Adam Well, hold on. Do you know if he did something to you?

1:10:39 Caller No, that's the thing. It sometimes seems like that's in the back of my head, but I don't remember anything of him touching me in any way I didn't want to or anything like that. I don't remember that.

1:10:49 Drew It just sounds like that's how she relates to him.

1:10:52 Caller She picks up on something weird from him.

1:10:53 Adam Do you remember any other parts of your childhood that you don't remember?

1:10:57 Caller I don't remember him in my childhood at all, really.

1:11:01 Adam What's that mean?

1:11:03 Caller I mean, he was never really around.

1:11:05 Drew Why?

1:11:06 Caller Well, he was at work. I mean, he went to work early in the morning, got home late, and then we went to bed.

1:11:14 Adam That's what Drew does once in a while when he goes to DC. But his family's happy about it. It's different.

1:11:21 Drew They're glad.

1:11:22 Adam As long as she keeps that skating money coming back. Yeah, baby needs a new pair of blades. Now, is he still married to your mom?

1:11:33 Caller No, they got divorced when I was like 12, and she moved out, and so it's just been me and him and my sister.

1:11:38 Drew Have you ever... Oh, well, you're with him?

1:11:40 Caller Yeah, I stay with him.

1:11:44 Drew But why not your mom? If you were so weird about your dad, why didn't you stay with your mom?

1:11:47 Caller I didn't really have that... Like, I wanted to stay with the house. I didn't really have that type of... Like, I had the feelings towards him. Like, I didn't really want to stay with him, but I wanted to stay with the house. My mother cheated on him. She betrayed me. I didn't really want to go with her. And I have, like, everything I could possibly want material-wise here.

1:12:07 Adam Cool your jets there, Tasha. Let me just say this. He didn't molest you. It sounds fairly clear that he didn't do it. Sounds like the guy worked hard, and it sounds like the guy tried to keep some semblance of your old life together when your mom cheated and moved out.

1:12:23 Drew Is that accurate?

1:12:24 Caller Yes, yes.

1:12:25 Adam All right. He kept a roof over your head. He bought you plenty of things. Once you cut the guy break, I mean, I know it's hard to control your viscera when you see the guy hugging your niece, but how about you work on it a little bit? He doesn't sound like a pedophile. He just sounds like a hard-working dad to me.

1:12:45 Caller He acts like one, though. Any time anything is on TV about Michael Jackson or any type of pedophile type thing, he goes out of his way to make it seem like, oh, that's so wrong type thing.

1:13:00 Drew It is wrong.

1:13:02 Adam Get rid of him. I'm done talking. Hang up on her. Hang up.

1:13:07 Drew She thinks he protests too much.

1:13:09 Adam I know, but look, if the guy said, leave the guy alone. He likes kids, then he's a molester. If he says, oh, what he did is horrible, then he's a molester? Who's not a molester then?

1:13:21 Drew You're seeing your sister in this girl. Right? You know what I'm saying? How your sister busted your dad's chops.

1:13:28 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:13:29 Adam My dad deserved to have his chops busted.

1:13:32 Drew But her brother may feel the same way about their dad. You know what I'm saying?

1:13:36 Adam Look, here's the thing. Her dad obviously didn't molest her, or at least by her own admission didn't molest her. He seemed to get up early, go to work and come home late, presumably tired, kept the house together. Mom cheated and moved out and sort of dumped on the family. I cut the guy a break, but I don't know.

1:13:57 Drew But alcoholic dads typically get cheated on. Okay, well...

1:14:01 Adam You hear that?

1:14:02 Drew You listen to what your wife is right now?

1:14:03 Adam Where do you think your wife is right now, Drew?

1:14:05 Drew I just checked five minutes ago.

1:14:08 Adam Yeah. And by the way, the gardener and the pool man were both in there like, Manuel, turn the leaf blower off. The phone's ringing. It actually brings the blower into the house, Drew. That's what... That's the sound he makes. All right. Let's keep going. I don't know what to say about Tasha other than get over it or have the guy arrested. I don't know. You're creeped out.

1:14:30 Drew Yeah, but he may have other sort of personality issues or something.

1:14:34 Adam I'm sure he's not the world's greatest guy. How about you just move out, get your ass together and do your own thing?

1:14:39 Drew That's good advice.

1:14:40 Caller Hey, watch this segue. Take Charles. He's 25. Here we go.

1:14:44 Drew That's it.

1:14:45 Adam Charles, 25.

1:14:46 Caller Hi, Adam.

1:14:47 Caller Great show.

1:14:48 Adam Thanks. What's up?

1:14:50 Caller I'm 25 and I have sexual fantasies about younger boys ages 11 to 14, 15.

1:14:58 Drew Did something happen to you when you were 11?

1:15:01 Caller Not that I know of. My parents got divorced around that age for me and my older brother would always pick on me and always call me a fag, stuff like that.

1:15:18 Drew Did your brother ever do anything weird to you?

1:15:20 Caller No.

1:15:21 Caller He never touched me.

1:15:23 Drew Did any other peers or anything do anything funky with you?

1:15:26 Adam No.

1:15:26 Caller Never any touching that I can recollect.

1:15:29 Adam So are you gay, Charles? No.

1:15:32 Caller I am bisexual. I have a girlfriend right now.

1:15:36 Adam Honey, if for a guy, you know, maybe I'm being close-minded, but when I hear 25-year-old guys say bisexual, it's just gay in waiting, like going to be gay.

1:15:47 Caller Or straight.

1:15:48 Adam Might as well just go find...

1:15:50 Caller I'd rather go straight if that were...

1:15:53 Drew But that's probably why you're bi.

1:15:54 Adam That's what's making you bi.

1:15:56 Drew It's that a lot of gay men don't want to be gay. They're trying to reconcile, make themselves straight, try to live a straight life, but the fact is they're gay and they don't want to be gay.

1:16:05 Adam The mind is willing, but the dork is weak.

1:16:08 Drew No, the other way around. Yeah, yeah, right. That's right. Yeah.

1:16:11 Caller All right, Drew.

1:16:12 Adam You ever get tired of that?

1:16:14 Caller No.

1:16:14 Caller Give it a break.

1:16:15 Adam Give it a break.

1:16:16 Caller And like I told the screener, I have acted on this from the ages of like 14 to 17 with my neighbor.

1:16:25 Adam And how old was he?

1:16:26 Caller 10, 11, something like that.

1:16:31 Adam So he was 10 or 11 and you were 13?

1:16:35 Caller 14, 15, 16.

1:16:37 Drew At the time?

1:16:38 Adam Oh, now, well, hold on, because at the beginning it was like 11, 12, 13 and he's like 10, 11. But 16 and 11, now you're getting super ultra creepy now.

1:16:49 Drew Wait, I don't understand, you mean when you were 16 you were with an 11 year old? Yeah. Alright.

1:16:56 Adam You gotta get yourself some help there, Charles.

1:16:58 Caller That's what I'm calling for.

1:17:00 Drew No, no, no, this is something that's gonna take many, many, many, many long, long periods of time of work. You're not calling a radio show and getting a solution to this. Where are you calling from?

1:17:12 Caller Northern California.

1:17:14 Drew Northern California.

1:17:17 Adam What should he do, what's a first step for someone like Charles?

1:17:20 Drew You gotta call, you gotta ask for help.

1:17:23 Adam I know, but what's the first step?

1:17:25 Drew I'm just, he gotta call a facility. I'm trying to think of some place in Northern California.

1:17:28 Adam Well, how about like an SA?

1:17:31 Drew I think this is gonna need some immediate intervention. It sounds to me like he's been out of control for a while here. An SA.

1:17:37 Adam Hold a second, wait a second.

1:17:39 Drew There's like a heroin addict calling, going, yeah, I just overdosed last week.

1:17:44 Adam I'm not gonna do anything. I'm trying to make it, you know, accommodating for him.

1:17:50 Caller Charles, you're quiet.

1:17:51 Adam You're 25 now. Yes. You, when is the last time you acted out?

1:17:59 Caller 17.

1:18:00 Adam 17. So, you've been dormant for eight years.

1:18:05 Caller But yeah, but it's in like, when I like masturbate, like it's almost like the first time I see that.

1:18:13 Adam It's in your fantasies.

1:18:15 Drew Are you, are you spending time with internet porn and this stuff? That kind of thing? Yeah. Yeah, that's illegal. So, he's, he's doing stuff that's...

1:18:23 Adam No, I'm saying, I'm saying he's not a volcano that's going to blow tomorrow. I'm just trying to get him going in some direction here.

1:18:30 Caller Not illegal stuff on the internet, just stuff that's tailored towards that kind of demographic.

1:18:36 Drew I understand. There's a facility in Southern California, in Torrance, California, called the Delamo Treatment Center. That's the nearest one I can think of in your area, Delamo, D-E-L-A-M-O, Delamo Treatment Center. Call them. They may have referrals up in Northern California.

1:18:50 Caller Yeah.

1:18:50 Drew A place called Springbrook in Louisiana is good. A place called Psychological Service.

1:18:54 Caller Yeah.

1:18:55 Drew People are sort of consolidating.

1:18:57 Caller Yeah, there's really not a lot of help.

1:18:59 Drew I know, I know.

1:19:01 Adam All right, so, look, Charles, get yourself some help, please, for your luck. And here's, put them on hold, would you please? I don't want them to answer any of this crap, but here's the reason you need to get yourself some help. You know, from a societal standpoint, you got to do it for the potential victims, but be selfish and get yourself some help.

1:19:19 Drew Oh, absolutely, before you harm yourself.

1:19:21 Adam Because you get busted and you go in the joint, you know?

1:19:23 Drew Absolutely. Listen, this is like a heroin addict who's out of control. They got to get help and they got to get intensive help right away.

1:19:28 Adam I know, I'm just, the only reason I'm not calling it out of control is because it's been eight years.

1:19:34 Drew Well, but I just, I got a feeling that it may have been more recent or not, even though I'm saying...

1:19:37 Adam And I just don't think he's going to drive to Louisiana.

1:19:40 Drew Oh, I know. Here's the thing about addicts, they lie all the time. And so, I got to rely on my feelings more than what they say sometimes.

1:19:48 Adam All right. Well, I'll tell you, for a guy who lied, he sure told us a lot of dark crap.

1:19:53 Drew I know, from ten years ago, seven years ago and so on, it's worse, it's worse. Listen, when you're with addicts, you multiply everything times two. And just, go ahead.

1:20:02 Adam So, if an addict says he weighs 175 pounds, you make him 350?

1:20:08 Drew Yeah, he is 350. I'll make him, he is.

1:20:11 Adam Oh, he is. All right, let's take a break.

1:20:14 Drew Let's think of bands that will be good for who's on first routine.

1:20:16 Adam You do that, Drew. I can't, I can't start everything and finish it. You think of something.

1:20:21 Drew Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, good, good. Let's go in.

1:20:25 Adam All right, Anderson, on top of this game. I don't know about corn, though. Let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this.

1:20:37 Caller We'll be right back.

1:20:38 Adam Hey, everybody.

1:20:41 Caller Love Line.

1:20:42 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is in Washington, DC tonight. Orlando Jones is going to be in here on Sunday. I think he's plugging Father of the Pride. And Dave Navarro in here on Monday.

1:21:00 Caller Good times.

1:21:01 Adam I think he's plugging Carmen Electra. Yeah.

1:21:07 Caller That's comedy.

1:21:08 Adam I still got it, brother.

1:21:09 Caller Yeah.

1:21:10 Drew Hey, I got the bands for our Who's On First routine. All right. Go ahead. We got Yes, Who, Guess Who from, as you mentioned earlier.

1:21:18 Adam Yeah.

1:21:19 Drew What do you think about The Dab?

1:21:21 Adam Well, Anderson brought that up a half hour ago.

1:21:24 Drew Yeah, yeah, yes.

1:21:26 Adam Another one of Anderson's.

1:21:27 Caller Yeah. Uh-huh. Oh, that's no doubt.

1:21:31 Drew No doubt.

1:21:31 Adam No doubt. Strong.

1:21:33 Drew Yeah.

1:21:34 Caller Yeah.

1:21:34 Adam Who fed you those?

1:21:36 Caller Anderson and Brian.

1:21:39 Adam So it'd be something like I'd be like, all right, so who's playing?

1:21:45 Caller What? Yeah, who's playing? Yes.

1:21:47 Adam What? What? Yeah, who's playing the venue on Saturday?

1:21:51 Drew That's right.

1:21:53 Adam That's right.

1:21:56 Drew You're feeding the band.

1:21:59 Adam Who's playing? Who's headlining on Saturday?

1:22:01 Drew You got it.

1:22:07 Adam Who's warming up?

1:22:08 Drew Then you say, don't make me guess who.

1:22:11 Adam What? No, no, no, Drew, you got to do it. What band is opening for The Who?

1:22:17 Drew Guess who?

1:22:18 Adam I'm asking you. And who's the third? Let's see.

1:22:28 Drew Yes.

1:22:28 Adam Yeah, who's the third band?

1:22:30 Drew Yes.

1:22:31 Adam What do you mean, yes?

1:22:32 Drew Yes. Then you go, yes is the third band? Yes.

1:22:36 Adam Yes is the third band?

1:22:38 Drew And who's the second band? Guess who?

1:22:40 Caller I already guessed.

1:22:42 Adam And who's playing next week? That's right. No, no, I think, oh yeah, that's right. Who's opening, then who's opening next week?

1:22:54 Drew That's right.

1:22:56 Adam No, I think there's, maybe you gotta throw like a no down in there.

1:22:59 Caller No, that's how, listen.

1:23:00 Caller Okay. You gotta end it by saying, is there gonna be food there? And then you say corn, you go, oh, corn's gonna be there? No. That's how it ends.

1:23:06 Adam That's how it ends. All right, we got the ending, we just need the beginning and the middle part. All right, getting close there, Drew. All right, where are we going? Who's got the phones? My screen is black as the night, Drew?

1:23:21 Drew Anderson?

1:23:21 Caller All right, Jenny, 33.

1:23:23 Drew There we go.

1:23:23 Adam Jenny.

1:23:25 Drew What's up, Jenny?

1:23:26 Caller Hi.

1:23:27 Adam What's up?

1:23:29 I just have a, well, it's kind of a question, I guess. I've been with my girlfriend for about two years now and... You're gonna drop here, Anderson?

1:23:39 Caller Excuse me? Go ahead.

1:23:41 Oh, her girlfriend and her worked together for about seven years. Thank you. Mm-hmm. And we're all pretty good friends. And she's kind of like hinting around. They both have this joke in mind that they kind of want us all to kind of hook up, you know, sexually. And although I think it would be really hot, I'm not sure like if it's the best thing to do emotionally.

1:24:04 Caller Like if it's not...

1:24:06 Adam Is this a foursome we're talking about?

1:24:08 No, no, it's just me and my current girlfriend and it would be her ex-girlfriend.

1:24:15 Drew You know, we were, I was at a conference today, we were studying this kind of stuff and these things end up being betrayals. When you get in there and you start having these heavy feelings about what this person coerced you into doing or convinced you you ought to do, you feel like hell. You feel abandoned and betrayed. It's the same, the feelings that occur when somebody cheats. Do not put yourself in that position.

1:24:40 Adam Plus, they end up 69-ing for an hour and a half and you're standing there holding a towel. Crying into your towel. Of course it's a bad idea. Let me explain everybody. First off, you're 33, Jenny. If you had not been around the block, you're asking like you're 17. Here's the thing.

1:25:05 Caller I've never had a three from before and it just doesn't really seem like it would be that big of a deal.

1:25:12 Adam It's not a big deal when it's nothing but vagina involved.

1:25:16 Drew It's also not a big deal when it's on the drawing board. When you get in there and actually act it out, that's when it becomes a big deal.

1:25:23 Adam What, do they have a schematic of the threesome during it's up there? I wouldn't care if this wasn't your girlfriend's ex.

1:25:35 Drew Oh, that is especially bad.

1:25:37 Adam That's the part that's especially bad, but the other part is, I'll say it again, you're 33.

1:25:42 Caller Come on. All right?

1:25:44 Drew Let's break it down here.

1:25:45 Adam Yeah. Shouldn't you guys be, you know, settling down and thinking about, you know, raising some sporting goods or something like that? I don't know what the lesbians do, quite honestly.

1:25:55 Drew Being intimate. Then listen.

1:25:57 Adam Being intimate.

1:25:58 Drew When the lesbian relationships tend to be very intimate and very intense and when they break up, it is horrible.

1:26:04 Adam You got two broads at the helm. Of course it's a disaster. All right. That's enough. That's enough nonsense. And here's the thing, too. Hang up on her, please. It doesn't matter what your sexual proclivity is, lesbian or heterosexual, bisexual, the rules all apply the same for the threesomes and the ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends. It's all the same rules. All right. Who's next, Anderson?

1:26:30 Drew Yes. Guess who?

1:26:33 Caller I read about as well as you do here, so I'm trying to figure out what would be good. We're going to go with Tony's 18.

1:26:39 Adam Tony, what's up?

1:26:41 Caller Hello?

1:26:42 Adam What's happening, Tony?

1:26:44 Caller Oh, not much. Just I was wondering about the liposuction and tummy tucks for 18-year-olds.

1:26:51 Drew Where are you? What's happening?

1:26:52 Caller Well, I weigh about 260-270 and I'm about 510.

1:26:57 Drew You're fat.

1:26:58 Adam Drew, please. And have you lost any weight?

1:27:02 Caller Well, when I... What the hell is that?

1:27:06 Adam I don't know.

1:27:07 Drew Well, here's the deal. Put them on hold. The fact is that I would think any plastic surgeon that would be willing to even entertain this possibility would want you first to really make an effort at idealizing your body weight as much as possible, exercising, getting on dietary plans, see where you can get with with your own natural physiology. And then afterwards, whether you need a tummy tuck or where you need some lipo here and there, then certainly that can be taken care of. But in the meantime, don't go directly to the lipo. Go to the dietician and the gym.

1:27:32 Adam What's the difference in terms of like skin elasticity at 18 as opposed to 40? You know what I'm saying?

1:27:40 Drew Yeah. I don't know the answer to that, but you can bet it's better at 18.

1:27:43 Adam It seems like a guy who's 260 is not morbidly obese or actually probably technically he is at 510. But the point is 260 is not 325. You know what I'm saying?

1:27:57 Drew He's a solid linebacker weight.

1:27:59 Adam Yeah. I don't get the feeling he is. But the point is he could diet, exercise, do it slowly and methodically. And I bet the skin would just go down with you.

1:28:11 Drew Of course.

1:28:13 Adam And by the way, you shouldn't be thinking about lipo when you're 260. You should be thinking about losing 80 pounds, right?

1:28:18 Drew Absolutely. That's my point.

1:28:20 Adam Who's next Anderson?

1:28:22 Drew Sarah.

1:28:22 Adam She's 24. Sarah?

1:28:25 Yes.

1:28:25 Adam What's up?

1:28:27 Well, I'm having problems having an orgasm with my boyfriend.

1:28:35 Drew The good times. During intercourse you mean?

1:28:37 During intercourse. Well, at all.

1:28:42 Drew And have you ever had an orgasm with somebody?

1:28:46 Adam No oral sex. She's 24.

1:28:48 Drew Have you ever had an orgasm with yourself?

1:28:51 Yes, but the only time I can is when I'm frustrated or upset about something.

1:28:58 Adam Really? Angry. Masturbator. I like that. And does he give you good oral sex? He does.

1:29:09 Drew No orgasm. Yeah, you can forget about having an orgasm with the intercourse. Not going to happen. But he should be able to do with oral sex. Not a big problem. If you really were working hard at it, if you were able to sort of guide him and show him what you like and kind of teach him, bring him along and give him some feedback as he sort of moves towards what is pleasing to you, there shouldn't be a problem with oral sex.

1:29:33 Adam And by the way, Drew, what, you know, there's women who just don't have the wiring hooked up down there.

1:29:41 Drew Yep.

1:29:41 Adam Oh, God knows. God knows.

1:29:43 Drew I think you've run into a couple of them, I guess.

1:29:45 Adam God knows.

1:29:46 Drew And there's some, as we've talked, remember Nicole Richie, orgasms fell out of her when she sat on a cold bathroom floor.

1:29:53 Adam I remember that.

1:29:54 Drew Or she did sit-ups.

1:29:55 Adam I remember that. The point is, is, you know what I'm saying? Here's what I'm saying. No.

1:30:02 Drew You're not?

1:30:05 Adam I'm not as physically into her as possibly the other gents are. But let me say this, Drew. For a woman who can have an orgasm at her own hand, what is the likelihood of her having an orgasm through oral sex if it's done properly?

1:30:27 Drew Very high.

1:30:28 Adam That's what I think. So you and I are on the same page. Now, if there's a woman who can't have an orgasm, then you may not coax one out of her via oral sex. But if she's able to have one, the circuits are firing. If you do a bang up job in the oral department, you should be able to get one out of her.

1:30:46 Drew Yes? But she needs to provide the feedback, the guidance. If she's holding back, just getting frustrated and angry because it's not just quite right, he's never going to get it right unless you tell him. And guys love the guidance. They want to know how to do things right. They're lame. Teach them.

1:31:02 Adam That's right.

1:31:02 Drew All right.

1:31:03 Adam Let's take a little break, Drew.

1:31:04 Drew Mercifully. Yes, please.

1:31:06 Adam We'll be right back after this.

1:31:08 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

1:31:10 You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:31:14 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:31:15 Caller Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

1:31:19 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:31:22 Caller Love, 191.

1:31:27 Adam Oh yeah. Look at us, Drew. We're going to finish the show on time tonight.

1:31:32 Drew No way.

1:31:34 Adam Oh yes way. All right. So I'll give some plugs to see me on the Late Late Show on CBS hosting tonight after Letterman. And Drew, if you're out in Washington, DC, see Drew talked a bunch of guys with silver goatees and patches on their sleeves and damp on their shoulders. All right. I want to thank engineer Michelle for stepping in and doing a yeoman's job the last few nights. And Chris, engineer Chris, there's some pretty big shoes to fill on that kid, I can tell you. And it's daunting filling that, you know, and it's you don't want to be the guy to follow engineer Chris. Nobody doesn't pay attention like engineer Chris.

1:32:22 Drew I'm used to it. Whatever. He dazzles.

1:32:24 Adam He dazzles. He shines. Yeah. And actually, you know, your best bet if you're going to if you're going to go in after engineer Chris, don't try to be like him because you'll hurt yourself.

1:32:34 Drew Yeah.

1:32:35 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:32:36 Drew There's no way to compete on his field.

1:32:37 Adam It's like it's some show off does a triple gainer off the high board at the pool in Vegas. You just do a jackknife or a cannonball. Don't try to do what he does. You're going to end up on the pavement.

1:32:48 Drew Right.

1:32:50 Adam Thank you. All right. I want to thank Junior Producer Lauren for really stepping up her game lately. She's booking, she's pouring coffee, she's troubleshooting computers. There's a new woman here. Love to see that. And Engineer Anderson for coming in. And really, you should really get like a... Drew what union are we at? AGVA?

1:33:15 What?

1:33:16 Adam He should get like a SAG card.

1:33:18 Drew AGRO. We're the AGRO. AGRO. AGRO.

1:33:20 Yeah.

1:33:20 Adam Well, he should really... Shut up Anderson. Just shut up and do the buttons, would you please?

1:33:25 Caller Thank you.

1:33:27 Adam Listen, I don't care. He's fine.

1:33:29 Caller All right.

1:33:31 Adam He's a big boy. Until next time. Oh, I want to thank, I want to thank, oh, Ann, Producer Ann and Ziggy and phone screener Brian for doing a great job.

1:33:40 Caller I'll call you.

1:33:41 Adam And until next time, this is Adam Carolla. Thank you. For Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:33:45 Caller And computer.

1:33:46 Adam Why don't you put it in front of you?

1:33:49 Caller Because the wires won't reach.

1:33:58 Caller The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Thursday, October 7, 2004