Episode 1000651594655

0:57 Voiceover Online is meant for an adult audience.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:03 Voiceover Sexually oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:20 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist, Orlando Jones is in studio tonight.

1:31 Orlando Jones Addiction Medical Specialist.

1:33 Adam Always good to see Orlando Jones.

1:35 Drew Been working with him for years.

1:37 Adam That's very helpful. I'm a fan of Orlando Jones.

1:40 Orlando Jones I'm a fan of Adam and Dr. Jones.

1:42 Drew Or whatever your name is. You can be the guy with the man-show shirt.

1:45 Adam I like Alan and... No, Orlando, we knew from many seasons ago on Mad TV. And then, was it Mad TV to 7 Up to Movie fame?

2:02 Orlando Jones No, it was Mad TV to Movie to 7 Up in the Middle back to Movie.

2:06 Adam Oh, really?

2:07 Yeah.

2:08 Orlando Jones I was 6 Movies in when 7 Up happened. Wow.

2:13 Adam I loved Drumline, by the way.

2:15 Orlando Jones Oh yeah, thank you. That was fun, though.

2:17 Adam That was really, I don't know, you're doing a little against type. I mean, at least for your other characters in most of your movies. But, it was a movie that, it didn't try that hard. I mean, it didn't get caught trying. It was just, it was nice. It was sort of the, it was like the black election. It was just a nice school movie. And it got you caught up in it, even if, even though you could have driven past that college a million times, never even turned your head to see what was going on on the field.

2:46 Orlando Jones Yeah, I felt like it was something that hadn't been done before. Right. So, you know, which I think was really the key for me anyway.

2:52 Adam Yeah, you know what? And it strikes me, too, that you can get people as involved in your plot as you get them involved. It doesn't really matter. There doesn't have to be a meteor heading toward the planet.

3:04 Drew No, no. But, you know what I mean? In fact, it's easier when it's a unique environment that you-

3:09 Adam That's what movies miss out on.

3:11 Orlando Jones Movies about the human condition. What a shocking concept. And not us killing each other.

3:17 Drew About something real, God forbid.

3:19 Adam But I'm just talking about in scale. You can have a guy at an all-black college doing a drum competition, and you can get as into that as you do the Olympics or the seventh game of the World Series, if it's shot right.

3:33 Drew In a way, you have a little bit of an edge, because it's unique. It's always novel.

3:38 Orlando Jones And the core story is really just about integrity and the battle that we all go through to try and have it.

3:42 Drew And love and blah, blah, blah.

3:44 Adam All right, Drew. Come on, buddy.

3:45 Orlando Jones Love is always a part of it.

3:47 Adam Father of the Pride is the new project that Orlando's working on Tuesday nights in NBC at 9 o'clock.

3:55 Drew You watch that?

3:56 Adam No. Just so you know. Oh, yeah? I hear it's really good.

4:00 Drew Yeah, it's very good.

4:00 Adam Drew, don't put me on the spot that way.

4:03 Drew I thought you had it. I will speak on your behalf, because you're not too good with the Tivo unless it's the History Channel.

4:07 Adam Yeah.

4:08 Drew And so my wife Tivo is Father of the Pride.

4:11 Adam I'm going to watch it this Tuesday.

4:12 Drew That's funny.

4:13 Adam I've heard good things.

4:14 Drew Who plays the old lion?

4:16 Orlando Jones Carl Reiner.

4:17 Drew Is that Carl Reiner?

4:18 Orlando Jones Carl Reiner.

4:19 Drew He really sounds old.

4:20 Orlando Jones You know, Carl Reiner is amazing. I mean, he's obviously like an icon. He's sort of in the business. But yeah, it's John Goodman, Cheryl Hines, who, of course, is on Curb Your Enthusiasm at Carl Reiner and myself. But it's a lot of fun, the show. I think we really get to do stuff that people haven't done before on TV in a long time.

4:36 Adam VO work, the voiceover work, that is a good gig if you can get it. It absolutely is... Well, it's not Money in the Bank at the very beginning.

4:46 Drew But it's easy still.

4:48 Adam It's still easy. And then if you can get some going like The Simpsons, you're done.

4:52 Drew Well, explain to people what you mean by VO.

4:53 Adam Voiceover. I said voiceover after I said VO.

4:56 I'm not too hip for the role.

4:58 Orlando Jones You stand in a room by yourself and record.

5:02 Drew Was there any nervousness about Siegfried and Roy?

5:05 Orlando Jones Not a lot, I don't think because we started long before a little of this happened.

5:09 Drew Obviously, that's the point. Once it happened, people go, oh, now how are we going to sell this?

5:13 Orlando Jones I don't think particularly because I think that this show isn't necessarily about Siegfried and Roy as much as it is about the animals that they rescue.

5:19 Drew Not only that, Siegfried and Roy represent, they're like not Siegfried and Roy. They're Siegfried and Roy. They're symbols of themselves. They're not even themselves.

5:28 Orlando Jones They're magicians.

5:28 Adam Every gay man, whoever, who collected animals, donned a cod piece, diamond cod piece, thank you very much.

5:35 Drew Fidgeted his beard and collected animals. Yes.

5:37 Adam Yes. But I am with Drew because I remember thinking, I mean, here's an act that's been around for 35 years and then four months after you guys go into production, pow, a line turns on one of them. And I remember hearing there is a show that's coming out, would it be weird? And strangely, not been that weird.

5:57 Orlando Jones No, I think primarily because they're involved and also really wanted it to continue because their legacy at this point is sort of living on through this show.

6:04 Drew I was going to say even less than weird because people are sort of gratified at them living on Hole as we like to think of them.

6:10 Adam Right. Well, it seems like Roy's coming back a little.

6:13 Orlando Jones Yeah, he's been in great, great health, actually.

6:15 Adam You know, Drew, go put a pox on the world, would you? The world's crappiest doctor.

6:22 Drew I just have to, I'm trying to be a voice of reality in the media spin world where it's, oh, he'll be running track next week.

6:28 Adam No, no, they're not saying that. I'm saying you were saying how grave it was when it happened, and they're doing interviews with the guy now, and he's progressing. I don't know if he's going to be even a shell of what he was before, but he's not hooked up to a tube.

6:44 Drew No, he's not. Half his body doesn't work.

6:46 Adam Yeah, all right, but he's, you know, he's progressing. I mean, he's not what he was. He's better than he was eight months ago. And he seems to be able to cobble together some form of a life. It's not going to be a bunch of, you know, put the Salisbury steak in the blender.

7:02 Drew You know what I'm saying? No, he's not going to be a vegetable.

7:04 Orlando Jones And he's managed to put a hit television show in the air.

7:07 Drew No, absolutely. That is correct.

7:09 Adam Orlando's got a gig. I mean, it's all good, Drew.

7:12 Drew No, it is. I'm, you know, God bless him. Again, I'm not fighting or not trying to encourage him. I'm trying to fight media and their, you know.

7:19 Orlando Jones I don't disagree with you. I mean, I remember when it happened, everybody talking about how he was going to progress so rapidly and, you know, that was...

7:26 Drew A big dance and a tap dance.

7:28 Orlando Jones Yeah, you know, yeah.

7:28 Drew No way.

7:29 Orlando Jones The show isn't going to be back up next year.

7:31 Drew Stroke means your brain is gone. That part of your brain is just gone. That's the part of your body not going to work. That part of your thinking is not going to work. So you have to compensate. You have to learn all kinds of ways to compensate. But that's a different thing than everything coming back on again.

7:43 Adam Right.

7:44 Drew So, that's it.

7:44 Adam How about the guys who shot at the gate and yelled like fag, like last week?

7:49 Drew What?

7:49 Adam I didn't hear about that. Maybe the week before.

7:52 Orlando Jones I think it was, yeah. Yeah, somebody drove by. I mean, I don't know if it's determined that they were silly directing it.

7:59 Adam Well, there was a, yes, they were labeling it a hate crime because somebody yelled at them. By the way, whenever you fire at anyone, you yell fag. So, it could have just been an ugly coincidence. Yeah, exactly.

8:10 Orlando Jones I had no idea.

8:10 Adam Guys in Vietnam were yelling fag while they were firing M16s and the guys at Rice Paddies.

8:15 Like you just yell fag when you start spraying bullets.

8:17 Drew It speaks volumes about the heterosexual male.

8:20 They don't understand.

8:21 Drew The impulse.

8:22 Orlando Jones You say that as if you've done it before. You're an aficionado on what to say after shooting.

8:26 Adam You yell fag and you just empty a whole clip. Also, they do one of those things like, here's the whole thing. If I was that big living in a town that small, I wouldn't have the huge initials on the gate. Well, I mean, it's a town where it's not exactly Los Angeles or New York City.

8:49 Orlando Jones When you have half the animal kingdom at your command, when you say sick them, you know it's going down.

8:54 That's true.

8:56 Adam Who the hell? How much crack do you got to be on to hop the wall over at Siegfried and Roy's place to try to steal their stereo?

9:04 Orlando Jones Sarmone, get them.

9:07 Blixson, Tasha, Simone, Blixson, Donner, Dixon, get them. It's awesome.

9:13 Adam I bet nobody's, oh, they got to have like the world's most nervous pool guy. Like the pool man is like Batasu, Tarzanek and Tomosha in it. But this time the door shut, the thing slid shut, right? Because last time I had to go in the pool. You know?

9:31 Orlando Jones You throw the mail over the fence and run.

9:33 Adam It's got to totally be freaky for guys who work. I mean, you got to have a gardener, you got to have a pool man, you got to have all these guys. And you got these guys, you know, Siegfried, they're wearing like the banana hammocks and they're running around, riding the tigers and stuff. You got to just become thoroughly freaked out.

9:50 Orlando Jones I didn't need that image.

9:52 Adam But when I was a carpenter, I'd go over to someone's house and they had like a mean dog. It was tense. It was like, okay, the dog's in the kitchen, so come around the back. Make sure the gate closes of the dog. Well, it was kind of weird, you know, couldn't imagine 800 15 800 pound tigers roaming around.

10:10 You're turning your back to them.

10:11 Adam You got the pool net out.

10:12 Huh? Freaky.

10:16 Adam The gardener has to clean up tiger crap. And I'm saying I got a 60 pound dog that lets a frisbee size load go. I mean, this is 800 pounds.

10:25 Orlando Jones That's hefty. What kind of dog is that?

10:28 Adam It's a Shih Tzu.

10:31 Drew Strangely enough. Strangely enough.

10:32 Orlando Jones I tried to get his son up.

10:35 I was waiting on you. Jesus.

10:38 Adam No, it's a small lamb, but it's sizable, sizable droppings. I'm just saying it's not 800 pounds.

10:45 Drew Maybe a tiger is like a squirrel though. You ever seen a tiger crab?

10:48 Adam No, but seriously, a tiger, 800 pounds, got a crate. What did it eat? What did it eat for lunch? A pig.

10:56 Drew Protein does not make small crafts.

10:57 Adam The duke's got to be, I mean, you know.

10:59 Orlando Jones Hey man, it's the animal kingdom. He ate like an antelope for lunch, an impala for dinner.

11:04 Adam So it's like you're pushing your mower through Siegfried and Roy's backyard, and you run into one of those things. It's just an ass storm.

11:10 It's poof, just brown out.

11:12 Adam You know?

11:13 Drew, am I right?

11:14 Drew I'm just thinking about the trouble of maintaining our grass for our little 40 pound dogs. Big brown spots.

11:19 Adam Who's cleaning that Tiger Duke up?

11:21 Drew There's gotta be dedicated staff to each animal.

11:24 Orlando Jones Like what you would find at a zoo or any animal reserve.

11:27 Drew I have seen rhinos crap. I've seen rhinos ass. Rhinos take serious ass.

11:32 Adam Oh, nothing.

11:33 Drew I've seen that. They let loose wherever.

11:34 Adam Nothing better, by the way, than hippo flop underwater.

11:38 Because immediately the water just goes poof.

11:40 Orlando Jones Not familiar with that. Hippo flop underwater.

11:43 Adam I've seen it at the zoo.

11:44 Drew Nice.

11:44 Adam Just the head sticking out. The water was clear and then pow.

11:50 Drew That's an adolescent dream, right? That's when you really struck Peter.

11:54 Orlando Jones Do they yell fag afterwards is my question.

12:00 Adam Cara? Cara, please.

12:04 Drew What's going on there? You're 18.

12:06 Caller Cara.

12:07 Drew I beg your pardon.

12:08 Adam Thanks for correcting me, by the way, Drew.

12:11 Drew No, she said Cara first and didn't answer, so I took a chance.

12:16 Adam What's up, baby doll?

12:17 Caller You know that sex show that comes on, like Oxygen, that old woman, you know? My friend said she was watching that, and she heard something about guys having like an A-spot. You know how like girls have a G-spot?

12:32 Drew Yeah. That's total unadulterated BS.

12:35 Adam Where is it? What's the A-spot?

12:36 Drew It's going to be something in the A-ness, I'm sure. Right? That is, listen.

12:41 Orlando Jones I'm going to let you guys feel that way.

12:43 Drew That is why these shows are dangerous, when people who don't have experience are giving advice about things they really don't understand. There are a few men walking the planet who do like that stimulation back there. They will let you know it.

12:56 Adam You don't have a spot.

12:56 Drew Never met that guy. Wow.

12:58 Orlando Jones Same names.

13:02 Adam Whatever the tiger's name is.

13:03 Drew One of them. But there are those guys around, but they are rare. I mean rare. And if you start, I'm just tired.

13:10 Caller Me fits thou protest too much.

13:12 Drew No, no, no. I'm tired of this preoccupation with nonsense.

13:17 Adam You're the only guy on the planet who is allowed to talk about love, aren't you, Drew?

13:20 Drew No, no, no. No, no, no.

13:21 Adam Interesting.

13:22 Drew No, she can't.

13:23 Orlando Jones How do you even ask for that? Look here, baby. This might sound strange, but could you take the index finger?

13:29 Adam No, no, you don't.

13:30 Orlando Jones Touch my A's.

13:30 Caller She said the index finger, like the two fingers, you're supposed to go up a little bit.

13:36 Drew Tara, forget it. You do that to a guy and he'll like bite you or sock you.

13:41 Orlando Jones I don't know, she sounds like she already tried. Tara, have you tried this already?

13:44 No, no, that's what she said.

13:50 Adam Look, here's the reason why we don't have to explore any further than sex, because that's good enough for guys.

13:57 Drew Right, for men, yes.

13:58 Adam It's no use. It's like saying, look, here's a Game Boy to play on the roller coaster. It's like, I'm going to enjoy this roller coaster. You know, here, here, use the Game Boy. And it's like, I don't want it. That's distracting.

14:10 Drew And if you need some sort of crazy stimulation in addition to sex, it means you're a trauma survivor.

14:15 Orlando Jones You're sending mixed messages. You're flip-flopping.

14:17 Drew But usually, well, the flip-flopping is there, but usually the trauma survivor will need like, you know, something like out of doors or voyeurism or something crazy. But that's a dysfunction. That's a problem. You're dressing up in a diaper or something weird, crazy, crazy stuff. And yeah, fine. God bless you. You want to do that. That's fine. But that's not, oh, every guy's got this ace. No, no, no, no.

14:37 Adam No, well, here's what the popular wisdom is. There's a part in a man that the man doesn't know about. If you could just get at it with like a number two pencil, you're going to explode with passion, like some sort of secret button that you're going to push. Believe me, it ain't there.

14:54 Drew Here's the if you really want a guy.

14:56 Adam Let us bang one of your friends.

14:57 Drew Another woman. That's the only thing. Thank you very much.

15:00 Orlando Jones That's real. That's real.

15:03 Caller Yeah.

15:03 Orlando Jones With that.

15:03 Caller Yeah.

15:04 Drew We don't mean a threesome. Just just another one.

15:06 Adam My spot.

15:07 Orlando Jones My spot.

15:07 Adam It's in the vagina of your college roommates. Yeah. That's where my spot is.

15:12 Drew And they wouldn't go, oh no. They don't want to hear that.

15:14 Adam They don't want to hear that.

15:15 Drew They want to think in terms of there being a spot. They're trying to find themselves because things that no, no guys have no spots.

15:21 Adam No.

15:21 Drew It just works just fine. It's all single flavor.

15:24 Adam They want to do it. You want to do something nice. So I'll tell you, like I'm trying to think like good, simple, whatever, uh, put a porn on and we'll get on with the porn.

15:33 Drew You know what else? I think here's the other thing is even easier. Actually be excited about having sex with your partner.

15:41 Adam That's a crazy idea.

15:43 Drew Be turned on. You're being turned on.

15:45 Adam I mean, yeah. Act turned on.

15:47 Drew Act or be whatever that that's.

15:49 Adam I only know it is acting. Yeah. There you go. Show a little enthusiasm.

15:54 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

15:55 Adam But a four finger up the rectum.

15:57 Drew That's enthusiasm. That's round house.

15:59 Orlando Jones That's out of bounds. That's a step too far. That's right. That's R. Kelly right there. He was the guy who went a step too far. Let's get a bunch of girls.

16:05 Caller Oh great.

16:06 Orlando Jones Some of them 13.

16:07 Caller Whoa.

16:07 Orlando Jones Pause. That's too far. Step too far.

16:10 Drew Sarah, 21.

16:11 Orlando Jones Too far.

16:12 Adam Still never done any time. Has he?

16:14 Caller No. Not at all.

16:15 Adam He'll wait till the chicks are in the hit menopause before he actually does some community service. Sarah? Sarah?

16:22 Hello?

16:22 Adam 21?

16:23 Yeah. What's up?

16:32 And I wanted to know like if you guys had any advice for me, like emotionally and sexually.

16:37 Adam Ah, you break up.

16:42 Well, he tells me he loves me and he wants to marry me like constantly, but then when it comes to like actually like, like he used to spend the night at my house like every night and now he hardly does, probably like two nights a week.

16:57 I don't know.

16:57 Drew And what does he tell you the reason for that? Does he give you a reason for that?

17:00 Well, he works at night and so, I don't know, it seems like when I try to be like emotionally in our relationship that he keeps pushing it away and we have...

17:10 Drew Maybe he's one of these people that can't tolerate intimacy. Is he a trauma survivor? Was he abandoned when he was growing up or anything like that?

17:17 I don't think he was abandoned, but he... I don't know, things seem to be going like really good and then once we get like really close, I don't know, we used to have sex like at least once.

17:29 Adam Hold on a second, see, our listeners are callers actually, they're sort of like...

17:35 Drew Listeners are different than callers.

17:37 Caller Oh, I pray they are.

17:39 Drew I know they are.

17:42 Adam I'm not going outside tonight, you understand? I'm not going to get my car. They're sort of, our callers are like my dog when I put them in the pool and just hang on to them.

17:52 Drew Yeah, they just keep going, pat them, pat them, pat them, pat them.

17:54 Adam And then once in a while you grab them and you sort of cradle them a little. And it's sort of like...

17:59 Drew Heading for the side.

18:00 Adam So now, has this guy had any trauma in his life? I don't know, but we don't have sex like we would. You can keep asking whatever questions you're trying to and you just keep reiterating the part about not having sex.

18:18 Orlando Jones The only things I could think of were just too straightforward.

18:21 Adam What's the strategy, by the way, of telling a doctor the exact same thing you've told him three times for a fourth time when he asked another question? Do you know what I'm saying?

18:30 Drew Oh, I know. Believe me, I know.

18:31 Adam Well, stop yelling at your patients, will you?

18:33 Orlando Jones She thought you didn't understand. She needed to reiterate.

18:36 Drew She's in her... she's not listening.

18:38 Adam Something's going on. Now, how long have you two been going out?

18:41 About nine months.

18:43 Adam That right. This thing's probably coasting to a stop.

18:46 Drew How old is he? And she's twenty-one.

18:49 Adam Too old for you.

18:50 Drew Well, thirty and twenty-one is not the kind of thing that usually sort of coasts to a shop in nine months, particularly with the guy saying, I'm gonna love you, I'm gonna marry you. But it is the kind of thing where a guy at around six months gets so close, if he has difficulty tolerating intimacy, it's a problem. Is he extra close with his mom?

19:09 Adam We don't have sex.

19:14 Drew I understand. That's because he's one of these people.

19:17 Adam Hold on.

19:18 Drew Write that down.

19:19 Adam Does have sex exactly how they used to?

19:21 Drew Not like they used to. They did and now not like they used to.

19:25 Adam So it's the same as it was?

19:27 Drew But not like they used to.

19:28 Orlando Jones Not like last. Well, before it was five times, it was six times.

19:31 Drew No, now it's different. Now it's different.

19:33 Adam It was different. Now it's the same.

19:35 Orlando Jones It's May on the rhetoric, he's poking someone else, May.

19:39 Adam It's different. Keep going, Sarah.

19:42 Drew But Sarah, look, there are people on this earth that you seem not to really sort of be tuned in to understand that when they become close intimately, they pull back. It's a very common thing. And it's not a good thing, it's an unhealthy thing, but there are lots of people that can have sex with somebody new, but once intimacy develops, then it's like, whoa, whoa, this is too uncomfortable.

20:01 Adam Okay. I'm just saying, Sarah, listen, if you got a 30-year-old... He's independent.

20:10 Orlando Jones What is he?

20:10 Drew He's a different than it used to be. He's independent.

20:13 Adam He's independent. Look, here's the thing. Show me a 30-year-old guy who hooks up with a 21-year-old chick and starts not coming around after about six months. I'll show you guys starting to head out. I'll show her Orlando Jones.

20:26 Drew It means something. It means something.

20:28 Adam He raised his hand. I don't know what he wanted.

20:30 Drew No, it means something.

20:31 Orlando Jones That was something else I was thinking of.

20:32 Drew We're going to assume he's not a sociopath. We're going to assume when he says, I love you, I want to marry you, he kind of means that.

20:38 Adam At the time.

20:39 Orlando Jones Yeah, I'm assuming that he just doesn't want her to go off and poke somebody else. So he tells her what he thinks she wants to hear at the time.

20:46 Drew Bad guy. He's either a bad, bad guy or a guy that can't tolerate a relationship.

20:50 Orlando Jones Exactly. Either way, she deserves better.

20:53 Adam Wait a second. So Sarah. You live alone? Okay. So what do you do? You strip? Let's see. Junior college?

21:09 You're in, buddy.

21:10 No, I go to San Marcos.

21:12 Adam San Marcos? She actually goes to school in Mexico. She actually is from San Diego.

21:17 Drew She goes to the bar every day.

21:19 Adam It's a small community college in Tijuana. The donkey actually teaches the sciences.

21:30 Drew It's a burro. I beg your pardon.

21:32 Adam The burro. The basketball stadium is a fan. And auditorium is a dumpster. It's got one side missing so you can get in there. But a great business school. People come from... All over Chihuahua. Come as far as... Xtapa. Xtapa, Chihuahua, and Mexicali actually attend their business school. Great law school, I believe.

22:04 Drew We're making fun of you because you're sort of stuck, you're not listening. And the fact is, this guy is either not a good guy, a manipulative guy who's controlling you with sort of I love you stuff, or he's a guy who says that and means it but can't tolerate it. Or both. In either way, you are both. In either respect, Orlando is right. You do deserve better.

22:25 Adam All right. That's right. You're 21, baby. Top of the world.

22:28 Orlando Jones That's your whole life ahead of you.

22:29 Adam We'll take a little break.

22:31 Drew With our law degree from Chihuahua.

22:33 Adam Orlando Jones here tonight.

22:36 Drew San Marco. San Marco.

22:37 Adam San Marco. From Father of the Pride, 9 o'clock on NBC, Tuesday nights. Take a quick break. Be right back after this.

22:44 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline.

22:46 Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

22:49 Caller Call 1-800-LOVE-191.

23:03 Adam Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Orlando Jones in studio tonight. Orlando can be found on Father of the Pride, Tuesday nights, NBC, 9 o'clock. And now it's time to play a little something we call Germany or Florida. Dave Navarro, by the way, in here tomorrow night. And then, ooh, Jeff Probst from Survivor. And Sarah Rue.

23:34 Orlando Jones I know, Jeff, he's a good guy.

23:35 Caller Good guy?

23:37 Orlando Jones Yeah.

23:37 Adam Looks good in that choker.

23:39 Orlando Jones Yeah, that's a manly, sexy thing, a choker.

23:42 Adam He's one of these guys who's just built for the shirts that have the pockets with the little flat button over the top, you know, and the sleeves that roll up.

23:50 Drew It looks like he's been permanently on safari.

23:53 Adam It was just built to be on safari.

23:54 Drew Yeah, traveling.

23:56 Adam Yeah.

23:56 Drew The gentleman traveler.

23:57 Adam I'm trying to think of, you know, the sort of, the keys to being built for being on safari. You know what you need? You need nice forearms, number one. You need like a little, little veiny, bulgy forearms because the sleeves are always rolled up. And that's the part of you that's sort of sticking out.

24:15 Orlando Jones And the shirt needs to be a small or medium. No large is extra large.

24:18 Drew Not too big a differential between the waist and the shoulder.

24:21 Adam No, you don't, you don't have to, here's what you need for safari. You don't need a lot of shoulder, back and chest. You don't need the big traps or the big delts. Or the lats. You need nice form and a nice calf. And you need a chiseled chin.

24:34 Orlando Jones You've thought about this.

24:35 Adam Yeah, I thought about it. Way too much. You know why? Because you're gonna be wearing that rawhide choker. And if you have like a double chin, the choker just looks like hell. It looks like it's literally choking you. Yeah, so you need nice cleft in your chin, little forearm and some calf would be nice.

24:52 Orlando Jones And a tan, you gotta throw that in.

24:54 Adam You gotta have a tan.

24:54 Orlando Jones Gotta have a tan, like a shark's tooth.

24:56 Adam Shark's tooth would be nice.

24:58 Orlando Jones I'm waiting for him to do next year with a loincloth on.

25:01 Adam It'd be nice.

25:01 Orlando Jones His first kill.

25:02 Drew He's getting it real.

25:03 Orlando Jones Yeah, then he'd be representing and keeping it real.

25:05 Drew Germany for Florida was premiered on national television last week.

25:08 Adam Yeah, on the Late Late Show when I was hosting that for a few days. And now it's coming back to its home on radio. Jackie? Year 14? What's up? I forgot, I forgot, I'm sorry. I got going on Jeff Probst. The blood started going to my groin. I'm such a, you know, I start talking about the choker. Survivor fan. Big volcano eruption this week on Survivor, by the way.

25:36 Orlando Jones Are we talking about your pants, or are we talking about, I'm just trying to be clear.

25:39 Adam There's gonna be some magma flowing down my leg when he comes in here. Oh yes.

25:45 Orlando Jones Walking away.

25:46 Adam The, yes, Germany, Florida. All bizarre stories. All the macabre, all the occult, all the people cutting their toes off, frying it up and eating it.

25:55 Caller Violence.

25:56 Adam Comes from either Germany or Florida.

25:58 Caller Gotcha.

25:58 Adam So we hear the story, and then we guess. Is it Germany or Florida?

26:02 Caller Gotcha, okay. All right.

26:04 Adam Go ahead, Jackie.

26:05 Caller Okay, an actress was taken to the hospital after a man injured her breast while trying to cut open her bra with a chainsaw during rehearsal for a show. It was the worst moment of my life. I thought I was going to die. The woman who was also a former porn star told a newspaper. The chainsaw operator said she was lying down during the rehearsal and suddenly bent forward just as he was applying the saw to her bra.

26:25 Caller Mm-hmm.

26:27 Adam All right, so this is like an act, like a sideshow act. We're going to take the...

26:31 Drew She's got to be huge. Otherwise, the chainsaw would actually cut her sternum.

26:35 Adam Hit her sternum, right.

26:35 Drew So she's got to be like... She was a...

26:41 Adam Felt Florida to me. I felt Florida for her.

26:44 Drew But she was in porn, so I...

26:48 Orlando Jones What? I go to Germany.

26:49 Adam You go to Germany? Drew, what do you say?

26:51 Drew I can't figure it out, because does Germany have weird sideshow porn?

26:54 Orlando Jones I can see Germany having a weird side show.

26:56 Drew Florida doesn't have weird shows like that, do they?

26:58 Adam I think they do, yeah.

26:59 Drew Do they?

26:59 Adam I think they do.

27:00 Drew Well, I cannot decide.

27:01 Orlando Jones You know, I'm just not into fat porn, so I have to hope that it was Germany. So, well, she's big. You didn't cut her sternum.

27:07 Drew I figured she had a big... No, but maybe silicone type, you know, Minka style of silicone. All right.

27:12 Adam But don't try to talk Orlando out of his gut answer.

27:14 Drew No, I'm just trying to reason this through here.

27:15 Adam I'm going Florida. Orlando's going Germany.

27:18 Drew I'll go Florida.

27:18 Orlando Jones I'm going Germany.

27:19 Adam It's ironic that Orlando would go Germany and Adam would go Florida. We need some guy named like Helmet who goes Florida here just to sort of equal out the irony. So what do you got, Drew?

27:32 Drew Florida.

27:32 Adam Florida. Stop being such a puss and going with me all the time.

27:35 Drew You're always right. What? Some people are puss.

27:37 Adam All right. All right.

27:38 Drew I'm just going with the odds.

27:41 Adam Drew and I are Florida. Orlando is Germany. Go ahead. It's Germany.

27:47 Caller Oh.

27:49 Drew You have not been wrong a long time.

27:50 Adam Drew, by the way, you're wrong twice by saying C when she just says Adam and Drew. Do you understand how bad your instincts are?

27:58 Caller C, you're wrong.

28:00 Drew Horrible.

28:00 Orlando Jones I tell you, smell Germany.

28:01 Adam Wow.

28:02 Orlando Jones I work with Siegfried and Roy, man.

28:04 Adam Orlando Jones knows.

28:06 Drew It makes sense in retrospect. In this country, you couldn't get away with dangerous stuff like that.

28:10 Adam No, yes, you could.

28:11 Drew You could get a chainsaw, get close to somebody's body with it, look at the liabilities and blah, blah, blah. No, no, no, no.

28:17 Adam You can do crazy circus acts. It's like a circus thing. You could do that. I thought about that. But they do like knife throwing and stuff like that.

28:25 Drew They've come a long way from the clowns crawling that little car.

28:27 Orlando Jones What happened to the lady with the mustache?

28:30 Adam She's got the bra on and she's getting a chainsaw.

28:33 Orlando Jones She upgraded that. Okay, hats off to her.

28:35 Drew Let's take another one. Let's do it again.

28:36 One more time.

28:37 Orlando Jones I like that.

28:40 Yes?

28:40 Adam 28. Go ahead.

28:42 Drew Hi.

28:42 Really quickly, I just want to say I'm a really big fan. The last time I called in, I was 18 and I'm 28 now, so that's how long I've been listening. I know.

28:52 Adam Drew was like 55.

28:54 Yeah. Emergency medical technicians summoned to the home of a grossly overweight woman. It had the usual problems with removing her inadequate stretcher and doorways too small, but there was a much more serious concern for the one 480 pound woman. She had not budged from her couch in several years and its covering had become grafted onto her skin requiring her to be transported while on the couch to the hospital. The couch had to later be surgically removed.

29:27 Drew I've seen cases like that. They're hurt up at the hospital. Really? Where the springs get embedded in the back and you find animals living in the peep holes.

29:34 Adam I mean I had that when I was effing a bean bag in high school but it was different.

29:38 Drew You had embedded it in your prostate.

29:40 Adam Well it wasn't all just, it was messy.

29:44 Drew You made a cement.

29:46 Adam We had to soak it off.

29:47 Drew I see.

29:48 Adam It was very uncomfortable. I don't know why my stepmother had to preside over the whole thing.

29:53 Drew How embarrassing.

29:53 Adam Very uncomfortable.

29:54 Drew Florida. EMT.

29:56 Adam Yeah.

29:56 Drew I don't think EMT goes to Germany to me.

30:02 Adam Maybe they would translate it that way.

30:04 Drew Maybe they would.

30:04 Adam All right.

30:06 Drew I've heard of these things going on in the US.

30:07 Adam We're all going Florida. Although 480, I don't believe morbidly obese in Florida. I believe they would call that fit. Yes.

30:16 Caller Oh, you're right. All right.

30:17 Adam We're going Florida, Casey.

30:21 Drew Wait, no, wait. Last answer?

30:23 Adam Yes.

30:23 Drew Final answer.

30:26 Would you like any lifelines, anyone?

30:29 Adam Florida.

30:29 Caller So you're one for one now this evening. It is Florida.

30:33 Drew There we go.

30:33 Adam All right. Well, I'm one for two, actually, and so is Drew.

30:38 Drew One win, one loss.

30:41 Adam Yeah, I know. But you would call it one for two.

30:43 Orlando Jones You would call it one for two.

30:44 Caller One for two.

30:45 Adam One for one would be.

30:46 Caller You're one and one, I should say.

30:48 Orlando Jones That's right. I'm two and one.

30:48 Caller There you go.

30:49 Adam That's right. Orlando's. Don't ever forget that.

30:53 Orlando Jones Make that clear.

30:59 Drew Yes, please.

31:01 Adam Some hot lesbian action going up here. Nicole?

31:04 Drew Yeah.

31:05 Adam You're 19?

31:08 Drew What? She's my son's baseball team play to Santa Margarita team today.

31:12 Adam I'm not going to explain that, Drew. You're going to have to explain.

31:15 Drew Santa Margarita is where Nicole's calling from. There you go. It's part of Orange County.

31:19 Adam That's enough.

31:19 Drew Behind the orange curtain.

31:20 Adam You just have to explain that one part, why you're bringing it up. It's all right. Maybe in your 2050 year of radio, you'll figure that out. 30. Nicole?

31:30 Yeah.

31:31 Adam You're 19. You're calling from Santa Margarita.

31:34 Caller Yes. What happened was...

31:37 Drew Oh, wait a minute, Nicole.

31:39 Orlando Jones First of all, is what happened was...

31:42 Drew Did you hear that?

31:42 Caller Oh, yeah.

31:43 Drew You heard that?

31:44 Caller Yeah.

31:45 Drew Let's give that another 20 seconds or so.

31:48 Caller Now, I got it.

31:51 Adam I timed it at 35 or 36, so that means it will be coming in about a minute.

31:57 Caller Seven.

31:58 Drew Here we go.

31:59 Adam No, no.

32:00 Caller We got a few seconds.

32:01 Drew We got six seconds.

32:02 Caller Three, two, one, go. Yeah.

32:10 Drew Maybe it's the 35 second thing.

32:14 Caller There it is.

32:15 Adam So that was 13.

32:16 Caller All right. Hold on.

32:17 Adam I got to pace this thing. I got to pace this now. One went off at 36. The other one off at 113. So that's 47.

32:27 Drew Yeah.

32:27 Adam Is that 47?

32:28 Drew I got a little extra to the map.

32:29 Adam Yeah, it's 47. That's 47. So 47 on to 113 then is.

32:37 Drew But you stopped the clock.

32:39 Caller You stopped the clock.

32:40 Adam Oh, oh, oh.

32:41 Caller Well, wait a minute.

32:42 Adam No, this one will work.

32:43 Caller I'm looking at the wrong one. Oh, man.

32:45 Adam Oh, man. We're all over the place now.

32:47 Drew But, Nicole. Yeah. There it is. Twenty-two. It's twenty-two. Twenty-two. So it'll be.

32:55 Adam Twenty-two.

32:57 Drew Seventeen next time. I have thirty-six.

32:59 Adam One off at the. No, no. This is a longer one. This is a longer one. This one's forty-seven seconds. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying this thing.

33:09 Drew So this will be one oh nine.

33:11 Adam This thing should be one oh nine. All right. We're just looking at the clock here and trying to pace. That's her smoke alarm, by the way. That's her. That's her low battery. Now, get closer to it. Wasn't it, Nicole?

33:22 Caller Everybody thinks it's a bird.

33:25 Adam Well, those are your stone friends.

33:27 Drew What kind of people you have visiting? Oh, there was again. They came early that time.

33:30 Adam Yeah. Well, no, they don't change. Uh-oh. No. No, there's not two of them. You don't have two of them going on. She was at twenty-two. No, we're thirty-eight. We're thirty-eight. They're always between thirty-three and like forty. Right?

33:44 Drew All right.

33:44 Adam Let's just wait till the next one. This one's got to go at two thirty-eight.

33:50 Drew All right.

33:51 Adam Let's see if we can count this down. Are you there, Nicole?

33:53 Caller Yeah.

33:54 Adam Are you right underneath your smoke detector?

33:56 Caller Yeah.

33:58 Adam Shh.

33:58 Caller All right.

33:58 Drew But don't talk.

34:01 Caller Five, four, three, two.

34:06 Adam Second off.

34:07 Caller Yeah. We heard.

34:07 Drew We know it just went off.

34:08 Adam All right. Now, here's where the comedy comes. Here's where the comedy comes.

34:11 Caller Hold on a second, Nicole.

34:12 Adam Now, here's where the comedy comes. I'm telling you, Orlando, people live in these houses. The smoke detector is not in the entry hall.

34:21 Drew It's probably in her bedroom.

34:22 Adam Or the foyer. It is in the master bedroom. Or where she's sleeping. Or in their bedroom, oftentimes. And the average amount of time the thing has been going off is several months.

34:33 Drew Three to six months.

34:34 Adam Yeah. Now, this thing is over your bed.

34:39 Drew Chirping.

34:40 Adam It's chirping so audibly that I don't really even need these headphones to hear it. I think if she opened her window, she's in Orange County with a nice offshore breeze, we could hear it. And it is going on month number five this way. And I've said to Drew many times, this would drive a reptile insane. Do you understand? If you had a pet snake, it would go nuts. It would eventually just stand up and start, call her the C word and then yell, I'm going insane, you see?

35:13 Drew How about getting a goddamn effing nine battery, you see?

35:19 Adam Don't make me slink to the 7-Eleven and get it myself, you see? You realize that? I claim more animal than person if you can sleep in that room.

35:30 Drew Yes, yes. On the other hand, the case I've made for you, Adam, the skill that you don't have is that unique ability to screen one's environment. That takes an amazing amount of skill.

35:41 Adam But it's an interesting thing that it resides on both ends of the human spectrum. The yogis who found such enlightenment that they could actually light themselves on fire and see no pain.

35:54 Drew She's getting closer to that.

35:55 Adam And then the borderline junior college tards that call this show both at the spectrum of them not noticing anything, not feeling no pain.

36:03 Drew That's the amygdala. The amygdala can be pre-wired.

36:06 Adam Nicole could walk on flaming sand.

36:10 Drew The amygdala screens things out of your nervous system. It screens out for novelty in the environment. If you're not able to appreciate novelty, well, you won't hear that beep every few minutes because there's no difference in the beep and the non-beep.

36:23 Adam Wow, Nicole.

36:24 Caller Nicole, I'm impressed.

36:26 Adam How long has that thing been chirping?

36:28 Caller Well, I mean, like when I first moved in here, it was, it does that, but I just, I don't even notice it anymore because my dad's did that too.

36:38 Adam Oh, by the way.

36:39 Caller Wow. Wow.

36:47 Orlando Jones Did you hear Pandora's Boxes?

36:49 Drew She was born into a house with a chirping smoke detector. She moved into this house with a smoking smoke detector, therefore, in 19 years.

36:58 Adam We call those legacies.

37:01 Caller She's a prodigy.

37:03 Drew Oh my God.

37:03 Caller She's a tardigy.

37:04 Orlando Jones If you meet another guy who has a smoking, a beeping smoke detector, marry him right there.

37:08 Drew Did you get all that information?

37:10 Adam Well, first of all, hold on, this is the coup de grace because this hasn't been going on for six weeks. No, this was happening when she moved in and has not been corrected. And by the way, this is another thing I've learned from now living with a woman. There's something about women which is if they can't reach it, it ain't getting done. I mean, they stick their hand up and as high as they can get their hand, that's where it is. There's no concept of getting here's why they don't do the smoke detector because they can't reach the ceiling. Women do not have the ladder concept at all. Guys, nothing but ladders. Half the guys over 50 die from falling off the ladder.

37:51 Caller No woman ever dies from falling off the ladder.

37:54 Adam Whenever you talk about one of your dad's friends, well, what happened? He seems to have cleaned in the gutters, soft ladder, broke his head, landed on his, he's a vegetable. Oh, I've heard. I got a friend, guy landed and then like rolled into the pool. They found him. Guys die on ladders every day. No woman has ever died on a ladder, ever, ever. You're right. What, what, they have women firemen. What do they do? Do they sit in the truck?

38:19 Drew At 50, they stop.

38:20 Adam They can't get, they can't get above the ladder. No chick will ever go up and get anything off the ceiling. Nicole? Yeah. And by the way, they could, they could see a spider, a size of a tarantula just crawling around and seeing they just sit there and watch it. They can't do anything. It's a guy's job. Got to go up there and get it.

38:37 Drew Nicole, how long have you been living in that house or that apartment?

38:41 Caller For about three, three or four weeks, about a month.

38:44 Adam Three, three or four weeks. And the thing was chirping when you moved in.

38:47 Caller Yeah, I asked my roommate to get it fixed, but she just, she, she, that's, that's not a lot.

38:54 Caller Yeah.

38:54 Drew To get it fixed.

38:55 Caller Right.

38:56 Drew You understand it doesn't need to be fixed.

38:57 Adam It's not broken.

38:57 Drew It's working fine.

38:58 Adam It's, it's, it's.

38:59 Orlando Jones Just replace the battery.

39:00 Adam The fact that you can hear it is, is, it means it's working. It's letting you know.

39:03 Drew It's telling you the battery's low.

39:05 Caller I don't even want it though, because like I smoke in my room and there's no point in it. It doesn't go off when I smoke.

39:10 Caller Yeah. Right.

39:11 Drew Battery's low.

39:11 Adam But it's made, it's made not to go off for stuff like cigarette smoke, you understand. Otherwise it'd just be going off all the time. And by the way, Nicole, do you want it going off when you smoke?

39:21 Drew Every time we ask a question, we get an explanation.

39:24 Adam Yeah. How about you get a 9-volt battery and replace it?

39:27 Orlando Jones That's crazy. Then you gotta get a ladder. No, no, no. Leave it like it is.

39:32 Caller What's that?

39:35 Orlando Jones What?

39:35 Adam Oh, you can step on the entertainment center?

39:38 Caller Don't need a ladder.

39:39 Orlando Jones That's true. Just balance off the TV.

39:41 Adam All right.

39:42 Drew What am I supposed to do with that information?

39:43 Adam I don't know.

39:43 Drew I don't even make of that.

39:44 Adam Nicole, we got to take a little break. All right. I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to break the second thing, Chirps, again.

39:51 Caller All right?

39:52 Drew And then we're actually going to return for your question.

39:54 Caller Yeah.

39:54 Adam Because it's a hot lesbian question.

39:57 Caller All right.

39:58 Drew So.

39:58 Orlando Jones Is it your roommate? Don't answer.

40:00 Caller Hold that thought. We're going to break. You ready, Chris? When you hear the Chirp, Orlando Jones and I.

40:06 Drew I want to hear a very lively outro. Hold on, Nicole, where are they? Hello.

40:21 Caller This is your radio.

40:24 Drew Drew.

40:25 Caller Yeah.

40:25 Adam What are women most attracted to?

40:27 Caller Confident guys.

40:28 Adam That's right. You can't buy that confidence. At least you couldn't until now.

40:32 Drew What do we got?

40:33 Adam You got Axe deodorant, body spray.

40:35 Drew Oh, my God.

40:35 Adam Spray that on. It's like slathering on the cuffs. You can't buy that confidence. That's Dr. Drew, Dave Navarro in here tomorrow night, Orlando Jones in tonight, Father of the Pride, name of his latest project, which is Tuesday Nights on NBC on at nine o'clock.

40:59 Drew All right.

41:00 Adam When we left our screen and Nicole, Nicole's I'm just going to pop in to see when that smoke alarm chirps again. We're obsessing on a smoke alarm and neglecting her very important question. But quickly on the smoke alarm one more time, I was saying to Orlando during the break, I was saying, you there, Nicole, by the way, Nicole?

41:22 Caller There we are.

41:23 Adam You standing by the smoke alarm? Sit tight for a second.

41:29 Caller There we go.

41:30 Adam I was saying to Orlando during the break, I said, could you imagine if you're designing We lose the timer then. I got it. Imagine if you're the company, your first alert or Coleman or the company that is actually manufacturing or you're part of the board that decides the criteria for manufacturing things. So it's like, well, here's the deal. It's got three years battery life, it has to have such and such a decibel siren and such and such other criteria. What if the battery is going low? Well, it's got to be a 110 decibel chirp that goes off in no more than 40 second intervals and people must have been going, oh, that'll send people running to the liquor store to get batteries. This would be impossible to ignore.

42:16 Drew In fact, we could get into liability from causing people emotional distress.

42:20 Adam Yeah, yeah, it's essentially like someone pulling a diesel truck horn every 30 seconds in your bedroom. I mean, there's no, but here's the thing. It's like when they're breeding roach spray and they said, this stuff will kill a rhino. But then a few generations later, roaches started driving on this stuff. We've outbred humans for this. Now we've bred a human that is not bothered by the 120 decibel chirp that goes off every 30 seconds.

42:50 Orlando Jones It proves my theory that like if it happens long enough, Americans can get used to anything. Remember when the homeless was like a problem? All of a sudden that's no longer a problem. We didn't worry about that. There's a homeless guy who was outside my office and every day I talked to him like he lives somewhere. I'm like, hey, how you doing? How you doing?

43:06 Drew But the problem is for 10 years, we were arguing that homeless people were just regular people that ran out of money.

43:12 Adam You remember that? Oh, it was always the same ramp.

43:14 Orlando Jones Exactly.

43:15 Adam This guy was a work for a defense contractor. He was an NGO. He was a metalurgist.

43:22 Drew That guy doesn't exist.

43:23 Adam That's not what I'm saying. We were doing the ramp where this guy, he has a family, he had a great job, he was working for Northrop until they closed the factory and then all of a sudden he smells of Boone's Farm and he defecates in his pants. These are drug addicts.

43:41 Drew And people with very serious mental disorders.

43:44 Adam Yeah, yeah. These aren't guys who got laid off over at Grumman Northrop, you know what I'm saying?

43:49 Drew Those people find a way back to work and back to a place of life.

43:53 Adam By the way, why must we do that as a society? And I know that's mostly the left wing that does that kind of crap where this guy's a hard working family man, after 30 strong years of working for GM, he gets laid off, pow, he's in the street. And by the way, you got a gig for 30 years and you get fired on a Monday and a Wednesday, you're living out of your car, you're picking out a dumpster, you're not doing a good job in financial management.

44:18 Drew It's again the BS of the press, that they don't ask the right questions and they believe whatever's on the surface and then they project that under the satellites and that's the story.

44:27 Adam People who are on the street are drug addicts or they have mental disorders or both. I don't know what percentage of them are factory guys that have been laid off or good God-fearing family men. I'm going way less than 1%.

44:40 Orlando Jones I don't know what factory there is in Beverly Hills but I know it's a lot of homeless dudes hanging out.

44:44 Adam Yeah, well the weather's got good climate out here. All right, so Nicole, yeah, got to figure out this question. So Nicole, you got high.

44:54 Drew What do you mean got high? I mean smoke pot?

44:57 Caller Smoking chronic, I don't know.

44:59 Orlando Jones I'm not confused with ebionic.

45:01 Adam All right, and you gave an oral to your girl roommate?

45:05 Caller Yes. Well, because she was telling me that she misses this guy who did it so good and whatnot. And she was like, you should leave because I'm going to please myself. And I was like, I was going to say something and she was like, what are you going to say? I was like, let me know if you need help. And she's like, all right, go yell at the kids and then come back and then maybe you can join us.

45:28 Drew What?

45:28 Orlando Jones Wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

45:30 Drew Go what?

45:33 They're like my godkids.

45:35 Orlando Jones Oh, rock on. By the way, my girlfriend's out of town. They better hope nothing happens.

45:43 Caller They better hope nothing happens to her.

45:45 Caller They don't know anything.

45:46 Drew Reiterate that, Adam.

45:47 Adam I said they better hope nothing happens to her. And by the way, a whole new generation of people immune to the smoke detector chirp. These kids are living in the house?

45:56 Caller What apartment?

45:57 Adam They're living in the apartment with you? By the way, hold on a second. We are breeding, that's what I'm talking about, we're breeding generations of, you know when it's going to happen, when, here's the thing, companies now who manufacture smoke detectors, low battery, a big scissor arm with a boxing glove is going to have to come down and whack you on the head. Because the chirp, you think these kids are going to mind the chirp? These kids aren't going to be able to go to bed without the chirp. You understand? Like with these guys in their thirties, they're going to have a smoke detector with a low battery on their nightstand.

46:32 Drew They're going to have smoke detector machines instead of the wave machines, like rain.

46:36 Orlando Jones The relaxation sounds. The sounds of the ocean, the rainforest, and a smoke detector.

46:42 Adam Alright.

46:42 Drew Again.

46:42 Adam Nicole.

46:44 Drew We're never getting Nicole's face.

46:46 Adam Hold on a second. This is by the way albino white trash activity that's going on here.

46:53 Drew Scary, scary, scary.

46:54 Adam Two kids. Huh?

46:57 Drew They're young. That makes it much better. Much better, Nicole.

47:02 Adam It'll be fine. Alright. Hold on a second. By the way, smoke detector is there to detect smoke so your kids don't burn in a... Yes.

47:10 Drew Thank you.

47:11 Adam Orlando Jones here tonight. He's both amused and disgusted. We will take a quick break. We'll get right back with Nicole for another hour or so and then it's going to go into Rodney's show. She's going to talk to her.

47:24 Caller All right.

47:25 Adam Right after this.

47:26 Caller Here it is.

47:27 Caller Bottom line, it sucks being single today.

47:29 Caller Tons of lame people and no decent prospect.

47:32 Caller Call the Dateline. 1-877-889-DATE. So get your problems ready. This hour brought to you in part by AXE.

47:49 Adam AXE.

48:13 Caller Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam.

48:14 Adam That's Dr. Drew, Orlando Jones. Hey now. Here tonight.

48:18 Caller All right.

48:20 Adam Nine o'clock Tuesdays on NBC's where you can find Father of the Pride and Dave Navarro in here tomorrow night. He can be found inside Carmen Electra as we speak, but he's gonna come in here and I don't know what he's plugging, but-

48:37 Caller Carmen Electra.

48:38 Adam But we're gonna find out tomorrow night. Good guy. We like him.

48:43 Drew Good nipples, though.

48:44 Adam Nipple rings.

48:45 Drew Yeah, you don't like that. You don't want him watching you.

48:47 Adam I don't like, if a guy wants to wear nipple rings because it's its own sort of fetish and he wants to do it with his old lady in the bedroom, whatever, that's fine. I don't like the nipple ring guys when they're strutting around.

49:00 Drew With the shirt off.

49:01 Adam Shirt off. Forcing you to sort of focus on their nipples. Hey, yeah. Oh, yeah. I find it intrusive.

49:09 Drew It has to be both or either.

49:11 Adam One is bad and then two though, it's not twice as bad, it's three times as bad.

49:15 Drew Yeah.

49:16 Adam I don't know why that is.

49:17 Orlando Jones Two puts, because it doesn't get anywhere else to look.

49:19 Drew Right, you can look at the one without the nipple.

49:21 Adam Yeah, now it's like I gotta focus on his junk. There's nowhere else to look. Yeah. And it's one of these things too, where as a society we laid out some rules and we didn't know that the people were gonna do f'd up things to themselves. So I was like, well, okay, women can't walk around topless, but now I'm staring at man nipple with the rings. You know what I mean? So it's like, I'm an atheist. So here's what I get. No boobs and a guy with a bone through his goddamn nose and the nipple rings. And for me, because I'm an atheist and I don't really subscribe to any retarded pie in the sky stuff, it's just flat out worse. I get nothing now. I get no boob and a dude with a quarter through his nipple. That's what I get. Quarter? Quarter. Yeah, just twisted and shoved through.

50:08 Caller Nice.

50:10 Orlando Jones Twisted and shoved through.

50:12 Caller Yeah.

50:13 Adam I wonder, can we, here's all I'm saying. Is there a place where sort of a normal, you know, right thinking atheist could live, like a place where I could buy a lighter, cigarette lighter that I didn't have to use two hands to get lit, you know?

50:28 Orlando Jones I know a place with two lesbians and a smoke detective.

50:31 We're gonna talk to them, that's right.

50:32 Orlando Jones I'm just suggesting maybe there's a place to hang out.

50:35 Adam Nicole? Yeah. Okay, so you went down on your roommate.

50:40 Drew Who has two kids, which are, who are what age? What age are the kids?

50:43 Caller Four and seven.

50:45 Drew Fabulous. And what was it you yelled at them at your roommate's behest?

50:49 Caller She yelled at them.

50:51 Caller They were in my room messing up stuff and I just, I was like, get out.

50:56 Drew Right, get out so you could go down on their mom.

50:59 Caller No, I didn't even, like I didn't even think it was gonna happen. It was, I don't know why.

51:03 Drew Yeah, but you sent them out of the bedroom. Where did you send them?

51:06 Caller Where did they go?

51:07 Caller They were in my bedroom. We were in her bedroom.

51:08 Adam Well, they could have went to the squash corridor, the library, wherever. There's a big apartment for us.

51:13 Caller Where did they go?

51:15 Adam High vaulted ceilings.

51:16 Drew The living room. By themselves.

51:19 Adam One of those ladders with the wheels on it.

51:20 Drew A four to seven year old, unattended alone.

51:23 Adam They're fine. They got SpongeBob. They took that to TV. They're cool.

51:27 Orlando Jones Yeah, yeah. She taped Father the Pride for them to watch while that was going on.

51:31 Adam She taped that and then taped them to the sofa.

51:33 Drew All right, then what happened?

51:36 Adam All right, so you went down on your roommate. She's older, I'm hoping.

51:41 Caller Yeah, she's 26.

51:43 Adam 26, all right. All right, and where's the father of these children?

51:49 Caller They actually had two separate fathers. One's in Miami and the other one's, and he's around here.

51:56 Drew One's in Florida, that's a shocking revelation.

51:58 Adam It is shocking that first these were sired by two different men. And B, I'm now flabbergasted that one of them resides in Dade County somewhere. I am flabbergasted. All right, so just when you think you know people, Drew, pow, you get blindsided.

52:13 Drew Shocking.

52:14 Adam All right, I would have assumed, I would have thought for sure it was one guy and he was in Israel. You know, but I- Two guys.

52:23 Drew Marin County.

52:24 Adam One of them's in Florida.

52:25 Drew Marin County.

52:25 Adam Cannot believe it.

52:27 Orlando Jones I'm so glad you're not black, Nicole.

52:32 Drew All right, so anyway, what's the deal? What's happening?

52:35 Adam All right, so you went down on her, now what?

52:37 Drew What's the question?

52:39 Caller I just, I wanna know, like, I wanna know how to be around her because, like, lately, like, she won't even look at me. Like, we talk, but she doesn't wanna talk to me.

52:47 Drew She doesn't wanna be around me. Are you a lesbian?

52:49 Caller Yeah.

52:51 Drew Are you in love with her?

52:53 Caller No. I think she's cute, like, she's really pretty, but that's it.

52:57 Adam Wow, that one scared me. Well, I'll tell you what, why don't, why don't you have a joke with her about it? I mean, do you think she wants to do more of it?

53:07 Drew No. I think she's uncomfortable. But listen, it's why you don't violate boundaries with people that you have to live with. There are certain-

53:17 Caller Oh, I know, my, somebody said the exact same thing.

53:20 Drew All right, well, listen, try to restore the boundaries and make it clear to her that I'm not gonna ask any more of you. We all want things the way it was before. We have to live together in this house. Let's agree we're not gonna do this anymore. And you have to agree to that. Clearly your girlfriend or your roommate has got very poor and porous boundaries and she's somebody who sort of can't say no to things. And that's one of those people that's easily persuaded and easily manipulated. You gotta lay off.

53:46 Adam Try to convince her not to crap out any more kids for the love of Christ, would you please?

53:52 Caller Okay.

53:52 Orlando Jones Is her ma'am back in town?

53:54 Caller Um, she, like, she doesn't really see them, like, like she doesn't really hang out with them.

54:00 Caller Oh, oh, okay.

54:02 Orlando Jones He's not the father of any of the kids.

54:04 Adam Huh?

54:05 Orlando Jones He's not the father of any of the kids. He's a new guy, the guy that was out of town that...

54:10 Caller No, there's one of them, one of the father, but he treats them both the same.

54:15 Caller Whatever.

54:20 Adam One kid will be a doctor, the other will be a lawyer. That's my prediction.

54:24 Caller All right.

54:24 Adam And really, there's no correlation between a crackpot, a half-lesbo, nut job, sitting out kids and the same families doing it. No correlation in terms of the child's success.

54:35 Drew No, in terms of the child happiness, mental health, all that is irrelevant, Adam. How dare you?

54:39 Adam Zero.

54:39 Drew How dare you?

54:41 Caller Yeah.

54:41 Adam Let me say something.

54:42 Caller Sunday night, I'm always in here and POs.

54:45 Drew Well, it's because we've had two nights to sleep.

54:47 Adam Two nights to sleep, I come in with a fresh battery and I'm pissed off, but I heard, who's the mayor of this crappy city? James Hahn. Yeah, Hahn has a plan, by the way, for speeding up traffic. By the way, he's announcing he's gonna synchronize some signals and get Wilshire moving or something like that. First off, when did the traffic problem hit? Was that over the summer or has it been 40 years? By the way, you got a plan? Oh, that's interesting. What else you got a plan for? Oh, you got something? Oh, terrorism, you got something for that?

55:23 Caller Or what about the smog?

55:25 Adam You got a plan, oh, interesting. So he's now gonna start doing something, but I just, as I was driving through my 50, 500 Red Arrow this weekend, by the way, times two, Owen Burbank, that's my favorite place to do it. Here's what I've realized, and it's been a while, so I gotta get people going with this campaign or they're gonna forget about it. Orlando, you can do it, you can be one of my celebrity arrow runners.

55:51 Drew I'm losing minion.

55:52 Adam Everybody please drive through the Red Arrows when your signal is green.

55:59 Drew Yield, yield to oncoming traffic.

56:02 Adam Yes, but drive through the arrow if it is clear, no pedestrians, no oncoming traffic. Turn left just as you did or could have done at the intersection before that that had no arrow.

56:15 Drew Or before they put the GD arrow in that intersection.

56:18 Adam That's right. Now let me tell you something. It's tough to drive through your first five and people are freaked out. I don't wanna do it. Drive through it and you realize you're home free. It is, there's nothing there. It's just air you're pushing through and you're home twice as fast. I drive through every goddamn one of them because why should I sit there and rot away waiting for your stupid arrow? And here's the other thing too. I just, I go, I drive, I go out of my mind in this city. First off, yeah, Han is gonna get the Fairfax and what? How about a little campaign? And we do nothing but campaigns. Let me tell you what Los Angeles does. Los Angeles has a lot of idiots from around the world and around the country moving to it. And we spend millions of dollars begging people that don't speak a lick of English not to fall asleep on train tracks. That is our big thing. Like, hey, yeah, if the arm goes down and the lights are flashing and there's a toll gate that popped, don't run the barrier and run into the blue line. The train's going 60 miles an hour.

57:26 Orlando Jones Yeah, that seems like somebody who's like armed and suicidal. That problem's going to take care of itself.

57:30 Adam It seems like it, too. We have lots of campaigns trying to get people not to climb over barbed wire fences and nap on train tracks, that kind of stuff.

57:39 Orlando Jones After two or three of them die, the message will be out.

57:43 Adam We got a big campaign about, yeah, 4th of July. Yeah, don't put an M-80 up your rectum and again, fall asleep on the train tracks. Could you not do that? We have unlimited funds for that, but there's no campaign that says shake your ass. Hey, hey, here's a campaign I'd like. Since everybody in Southern California comes from either another state or another country where evidently it's illegal to turn right on a red, how about a campaign that says, guess what? It's legal here.

58:11 Caller How about that?

58:12 Adam How about we let everybody who's a visitor and I'm behind all of you every day when I try to get to my crappy job. And I know you come from New Jersey and it's illegal. I don't know why, but it's illegal where you're from.

58:26 Caller And by the way, let me say this.

58:27 Adam Now I'm really angry. If you're in another state, if you're in another state and there's something that's legal here and it's not legal in your state, you got to take a look at it. Because everything is illegal here.

58:40 Caller Imagine the shame of being in a state. And that's all I would say, by the way. If I was in New Jersey and I was trying to get right turns and legalize, I'd say, hey, guess what? The fags in California are doing it. Are you kidding me? You kidding me? They got a law? We got a law they don't have? Put a gun in your mouth. That's the law that we have that they don't have because they got every goddamn law there is.

59:04 Orlando Jones Watch where the GD is now.

59:05 Caller We take visiting laws, you understand. We take laws that other states don't want and other countries.

59:11 Drew We take them. Orphan laws.

59:13 Caller Orphan laws. Bring us your crappy laws. We write more jaywalking tickets than they write in all of America.

59:22 Adam And Europe combined it.

59:23 Caller I'm not even gonna count Asia because I don't even know if they have crosswalks. We got tickets for smoking on beaches. We got tickets for smoking on beaches over here. We got tickets for everything. Tickets for everything. If you're in a state where you can't turn right on a red, you better figure it out.

59:38 Adam But here's the thing. It is legal here in California. You can turn right on a red.

59:44 Caller Right on a red.

59:45 Adam And nobody who's driving seems to be aware of that. And that pussy, Han, who wants to get everything moving is so busy keeping people off their train tracks and not blowing their asses up on the fork of a line that he can't put an ounce, how about it?

1:00:04 Caller Turn right, you pussies.

1:00:06 Adam Right on the. How about it?

1:00:08 Caller It's red, it's safe. Shake your ass. Right on the red. You don't want to build another railroad?

1:00:14 Adam You don't want to build another subway?

1:00:15 Orlando Jones Don't want to do it.

1:00:16 Adam What do you figure that subway is a foot?

1:00:18 Caller What do you figure it costs?

1:00:19 Adam 10 billion dollars an inch?

1:00:21 Orlando Jones Too much to count.

1:00:22 Adam What do you think a second story on the 405 would cost?

1:00:26 Orlando Jones Not so much.

1:00:27 Adam Wait a minute. Wait a minute, my brother.

1:00:29 Drew That's expensive. We need that.

1:00:30 Adam No, we need it, but still a lot.

1:00:32 Drew Put it off a little bit.

1:00:34 Adam Here's the point.

1:00:35 Caller Here's the one.

1:00:35 Adam Let's get the rhythm back now.

1:00:36 Caller Put it off a little bit.

1:00:37 Adam The point is, is we wouldn't need to do anything if we could get people moving.

1:00:43 Caller Well, all right now. We could get people moving 25% faster and that's it.

1:00:48 Adam This is a factory and we ain't adding any square footage to it, but we're gonna speed up the conveyor belt and we're gonna need all the employees to pay attention and pick it up. And all I'm saying is let's put some goddamn posters up in the lounge and let people know that we're speeding up the belt.

1:01:05 Orlando Jones That's right. Let the choir sing, Sister Gilmore.

1:01:08 Adam Here's the deal. If you're napping on a red and you could turn right, you're getting a ticket.

1:01:13 Orlando Jones That's right.

1:01:14 Adam If you're that guy who likes to count to 10 Mississippi after the light changes green before you go, you're getting a ticket.

1:01:21 Caller And if you're the guy who's going 46 in the fast lane on the freeway, you're getting a ticket.

1:01:26 Orlando Jones Show them what's it working with.

1:01:27 Caller Where's that voice? Where's that campaign? No, all we got is the highway patrols cracking down on speeders. Make the right. Watch yourself. In what state? What are you talking about, speeders? It took me four days to get to my goddamn mailbox. Four days. What's speeders? Speeders. You're cracking down on speeders. That's where you gotta go to find speeders. You guys go to Nevada. That's where you find speeders and not here anymore.

1:01:54 Adam They all went to Nevada. We can't speed anymore because no one's driving. Make the right. Make the right.

1:02:02 Caller Show them what you're working with.

1:02:04 Caller Drew, would you stop that?

1:02:05 Drew Well, that's good.

1:02:06 Adam You're undermining it.

1:02:10 Caller All right. All right, all right.

1:02:11 Orlando Jones I feel good about that.

1:02:13 Caller Yeah, it's Sunday.

1:02:14 Adam I feel better. Let me just say, I'll calm down now, but I am going to say, you don't think that we could get the city moving 20% more efficiently through the enforcement of these kinds of things in an awareness campaign.

1:02:32 Drew Don't you think that could bleed into sort of all aspects of one's life?

1:02:36 Orlando Jones It could.

1:02:36 Drew We could even sort of encourage people to- Pick it up.

1:02:41 Adam Yeah, and I'm saying like on those big freeway signs, just a big shake your ass.

1:02:46 Drew We need an acronym for hustle. That works.

1:02:48 Adam Just let's go. Let's get it on.

1:02:50 Caller Have, get a move on.

1:02:51 Drew You sell.

1:02:52 Adam Let's hustle it up. I sit at those red lights waiting for A-holes to turn right. Nobody honking. I'm six cars back. I'm on the horn. Not one horn. Everyone just planted. By the way, what goes on in this town that people have just unlimited time to either get to work or get home? Or what, what is going on? Is it all just the crazy cultures that have jobs where they don't have jobs, where they just nap all day, or they're used to taking a donkey, or riding like a three-wheel moped or something? Is that what-

1:03:24 Orlando Jones I think it's taking a donkey.

1:03:25 Adam Is that what's going on in this city? Are we just-

1:03:28 Orlando Jones I just don't think people care about being late anymore.

1:03:31 Adam They did, yeah.

1:03:31 Orlando Jones I just like, you're fighting, it's now, if you're supposed to be there at five, if you're there between five and 530, that's cool. Traffic, what can I do?

1:03:39 Adam Maybe bosses need to just start firing people for being late. Whatever it is that, we gotta put a fire under people in this city. And it's great work that the great James Hahn has decided to sync up the signals. And how come no one raises their hand and says, hey, genius, why don't you sync them up when you put them in? You're deciding now? Oh, that's wonderful. Why don't people start yelling at people? And what about this red arrow? How come no one says anything? How come, please people drive through it. I drive through every single one of them.

1:04:08 Drew Every GD1 of them. I'd love to hear from some LAPD and see if they've seen a little more of this lately.

1:04:13 Adam I pray to Christ they have. And let me tell you this. Here's why it's safe to drive through those arrows. Okay, I was talking about this with my buddy, the Wheeze, today when I was screaming at him about driving through the arrows. His name's the Wheeze? Well, I call him the Wheeze, real name Don. But here's the thing. Here's why, Drew, open your mind, put that pen down and focus on me. Okay, Drew, I don't need that. Focus on me for a second. And just think about this, think about this. Cops write tickets for, here's what I think. Here's the two tickets they write. The guys who sit there with the radar gun, the cowards, the vermin, who sit there hiding, hiding up the driveway of the apartment.

1:04:50 Drew How about the guy that traps you on the left turn that I got turned on?

1:04:53 Adam All right, all right, Drew, it's not about you. It's about me. Okay, the guy, so cops write tickets with the radar gun. That's one way to write it. And then the other way, it's just, they're driving around, their heads swiveling around. They see something. They see somebody pull a maneuver. They see somebody speeding. They see somebody do something, right? Now, when you get a ticket, you won't get a ticket for turning left on an arrow because in the cop's mind, you're neither speeding nor are you doing anything. You don't see it as doing anything. Now you're a cop. If you're not directly behind you, you're coming the other direction or coming any direction. It just looks like you're turning left with a green signal when there's no oncoming traffic.

1:05:31 Drew You've got to give people the direction you normally give them is to look around for police.

1:05:34 Adam Look around, but now I'm thinking just look in the rear view because you will not stand out as doing anything wrong because the cop has been watching people turn left when it's safe and the signal's green for the last eight hours.

1:05:48 Drew By the way, the more sophisticated signals will turn green when there's no oncoming traffic, like it should.

1:05:53 Adam Yes, and the other direction is just gonna be green. So my point is, is the only way a cop could bust you is if he was right behind you and looking at the signal. You see what I'm saying? So everybody, stop being such pussies and do it, please.

1:06:09 Orlando Jones I think you made a good case for it.

1:06:11 Adam Please, and look, I'm not just talking. I do hundreds a week, hundreds. And drive by parked cars, by the way. The lemmings, the pusses, the people have nowhere to go that are stacked up, waiting for the man to tell them it's okay to go home, drive right past them. Go right past them. Just keep rolling. Everybody do it.

1:06:29 Drew They honk at them.

1:06:29 Adam Please, please everyone do it. And by the way, this is what you do with horrible laws. You ignore them.

1:06:36 Drew Civil disobedience.

1:06:37 Adam Civil disobedience. Rosa Parks.

1:06:39 Orlando Jones You got it, that's right. That's right. Rosa Parks. If you're black and Latino and you're listening, ignore this man, cause they'll be writing your ass a ticket as soon as they're looking for you, brothers.

1:06:48 Caller They will beat the car out of you.

1:06:50 Orlando Jones He's right, they look for two things.

1:06:52 Adam But white guys need to do this.

1:06:53 Orlando Jones White guys, y'all need to step it up.

1:06:55 Adam For real.

1:06:55 Orlando Jones Yeah, get with the program. Like, don't be pussies, but brothers and Latinos, chill out.

1:07:00 Adam Take it easy now.

1:07:01 Orlando Jones Ease up.

1:07:01 Caller Yeah.

1:07:02 Orlando Jones Yeah, cause you know what the deal is.

1:07:04 Adam And enough with those rims that look like they're spinning when you're standing. They spinning, baby. They spinning.

1:07:11 Caller Uh-oh.

1:07:12 Adam Drew's got an acronym for hustle.

1:07:15 Drew Hurry up, slackers. Yeah. Stop loping, wait a minute.

1:07:22 Adam Loping. What do you like from the 50s? What is a loping? No one uses loping anymore.

1:07:29 Drew Hurry up, slackers and stuff.

1:07:31 Adam John, I'm gonna move ahead.

1:07:32 Orlando Jones You can stop loping.

1:07:34 Adam Consume yourself.

1:07:35 Orlando Jones In rims.

1:07:35 Adam With what will be a disappointing acronym at the end.

1:07:39 Drew Loping, stop loafing, everyone.

1:07:40 Adam All right, and by the way, let me tell you something too when you do an acronym. You don't have to spell it right.

1:07:45 Drew Yeah, that's right.

1:07:46 Adam You don't need the E at the end, but that still works. So, hurry up, slackers.

1:07:51 Drew Stop.

1:07:51 Adam Stop loafing everyone. Nice. There's two S's in hustle.

1:07:58 Caller I think.

1:07:59 Drew For sure.

1:08:00 Caller One S. One S.

1:08:02 Caller Yeah, I think there's one S.

1:08:06 Caller One S.

1:08:07 Drew Hassle is two S.

1:08:08 Adam One S engineer Chris.

1:08:10 Drew Hassle is two S's.

1:08:11 Adam I think hustle is one S.

1:08:14 Orlando Jones Yeah, take my word for it.

1:08:15 Adam It's one S.

1:08:16 Orlando Jones Think about the hustler store. Yeah.

1:08:20 Drew All right, Drew.

1:08:21 Adam All right, Dr. Drew.

1:08:23 Drew Is that a T in it, hustler?

1:08:26 Adam Yeah, it does.

1:08:27 Drew That is a T in it.

1:08:27 Adam All right, well, that's true, too. I still think it's one S. John, but here's the thing. If I'm correcting you on spelling, you better put a bullet in your head, Drew. Because no one dumber than me.

1:08:37 Drew Spelling wise. We're going to take a break. I'll look up hustle.

1:08:40 Orlando Jones Nicole, hold on. We'll be back for your question.

1:08:44 Drew One S with a T.

1:08:45 Adam All right, now.

1:08:45 Drew Yeah, one S with a T. H-U-S-T-L-E.

1:08:47 Adam All right, now give us a better acronym.

1:08:51 Drew I will.

1:08:51 Adam I work on that during the break. Orlando Jones, here and I.

1:08:54 Caller That will be right back after this.

1:08:56 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:09:01 Adam What are women most attracted to?

1:09:03 Caller Confident guys.

1:09:04 Adam That's right. You can't buy that confidence. At least you couldn't until now.

1:09:08 Drew What do we got?

1:09:09 Adam You got Axe Deodorant Body Spray.

1:09:11 Drew Oh my God.

1:09:11 Adam Spray that on, it's like slathering on the confidence. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Orlando Jones is here tonight from Father of the Pride, Tuesday nights on NBC at 9 o'clock. Dave Navarro into our night. Drew has not come up with a good acronym for Hustle ever since he realized how Hustle was spelled. His first one was Shake Your Ass Foreigners, and I explained that that's got nothing, that's not even close to the acronym for Hustle. So Drew, what do you have so far? Do you have anything?

1:10:04 Drew Nothing, hurry up, slackers.

1:10:06 Caller Hurry up, slackers.

1:10:09 Drew Hold on a second, relax.

1:10:11 Adam It's just, you know, we gave it all a break.

1:10:13 Drew I was listening to you talk. You always insist I listen to you when you're speaking.

1:10:17 Caller He does have one thing.

1:10:19 Adam Why aren't you listening now?

1:10:20 Orlando Jones He was focused.

1:10:21 Caller All right. John?

1:10:24 Yeah.

1:10:25 Adam You're 20?

1:10:26 Caller Yes, I am.

1:10:27 Adam What's up?

1:10:28 Caller Well, I've recently got into a fetish. I find it erotically gratifying to wear women's clothing.

1:10:35 Caller All right. Yeah.

1:10:38 Drew And what's your question?

1:10:38 Caller I was wondering if that could be, well, I know it's not normal, but I was wondering if that's like psychologically unhealthy or if I could be like still totally normal and still be doing that.

1:10:50 Drew No, you can't be totally normal in doing that, but you don't have to be seriously ill and be doing that. Can you have relationships?

1:10:57 Caller Yeah. Yeah. I have a girlfriend.

1:10:59 Drew And how long have you been with her?

1:11:00 Caller I've been with her since last October.

1:11:03 Drew And things are going okay?

1:11:04 Caller Things are going pretty good, yeah.

1:11:06 Drew Are you guys sexual together?

1:11:08 Caller Oh yeah.

1:11:09 Adam What are you wearing on the women's line?

1:11:13 Caller Just anything, bras, panties, dresses, makeup occasionally.

1:11:21 Drew I'm beginning to believe that some of this has something to do with how visual males are and that these experiences of terror in childhood around their relationship with mom, whether it's mom being overly intrusive or overly sexual with them, it's in sort of a covert way. Results in feelings.

1:11:37 Caller My mom was very close with me a lot and my dad, he wasn't around a lot since he was in the Navy and I was with my mom mostly through my childhood and she kind of believed in me a lot.

1:11:46 Drew There are books out there on covert incest. It's not actual incest, it's sort of a covert thing.

1:11:50 Adam Dad was in the Navy.

1:11:52 Drew Yeah, so this is her surrogate. This is her surrogate husband is the little man at home now. And that becomes terrorizing into a kid and the visual impressions of mom then becomes sort of emblazoned in the source of attraction later in childhood.

1:12:08 Adam All right, well look, here's the thing though. I'm not sure if there's a fetish cleansing. I don't know if we can deprogram you. On the other hand, you can keep things in check. You cannot spin out.

1:12:19 Drew And you can get therapies to sort of undo the sort of aspects. Again, you might want to look through some of these books on covert incest, covert child abuse basically is what it is. There's a book called Drama, The Gifted Child that talks about this kind of stuff sometimes. Look into this. Some therapy can take care of these things very quickly sometimes.

1:12:40 Adam You can also not act on your bizarre impulses.

1:12:44 Caller Can you?

1:12:44 Drew You can and you can try to have real relationship which are truly intimate, but the probability is that his real self is sort of guarded and put away somewhere and you know.

1:12:52 Orlando Jones Or you can pick a side.

1:12:53 Caller I'm gonna, yeah.

1:12:54 Adam I'm gonna pick whatever one you look better at. That's my feeling with everything. If you make a better fill in the blank, that's what you should become.

1:13:03 Orlando Jones That's an interesting theory.

1:13:04 Adam For me, it's a Korean woman.

1:13:06 Orlando Jones I can see that.

1:13:08 Adam Roger?

1:13:09 Yeah.

1:13:09 Adam You're 15?

1:13:12 Caller Hey Mr. Corolla, how's it going?

1:13:13 Adam What's going on? You're calling from North Hollywood.

1:13:16 Caller It's 71 degrees on here, by the way.

1:13:18 Adam Blah, my old hometown. Whereabouts in North Hollywood?

1:13:22 Caller On Van Noren and Tonga. Yeah.

1:13:26 Adam That's bad. People from my part of North Hollywood make part of that part of North Hollywood. Yeah, they're cleaning it up though. They're getting it together over there. All right, oh yeah, close to the In-N-Out Burger.

1:13:40 Caller Yeah.

1:13:41 Adam That's good. All right, so what's up?

1:13:43 Caller Oh, before I start, Mr. Jones, you are awesome on Father of the Pride, very funny.

1:13:47 Orlando Jones Oh, thank you, man. Thank you very much.

1:13:49 We had a good time doing it.

1:13:50 Caller Sorry, I've been listening to the show for a while and Adam, when you usually go out to your rants and you're done with them, you say it takes all kinds, but what do you mean by that?

1:14:00 Adam Well, it's an old expression from probably, I would say the 30s. Would you say it goes to the 30s? Could go to the 20s.

1:14:07 Yeah.

1:14:08 Adam I don't think it's earlier in the 20s. They, it became very popular like in the 50s, but I imagine.

1:14:14 Drew I was thinking 50s is really where it sort of.

1:14:16 Adam But wouldn't you think it was around before that?

1:14:19 Drew It's a little bit Ozzy and Harriet-ish sort of comment or believe it to be, where it's kind of like, well, it's not, it takes all kinds.

1:14:24 Adam Oh, look up the origin of takes all kinds.

1:14:26 Drew Oh, Chris is like, what the hell are you talking about?

1:14:29 Adam All right. And what it means is it used to just be the, here's what it was. It was sort of the punchline on the 50s and 60s sitcoms where Drew and I would be, no, no, it was even a cartoon thing. It would be like, one thing would be a couple of guys standing on the corner. Another guy walks by in the middle of summer, he's wearing a fur coat and a lampshade on his head. And the one guy turns to the other guy and says, well, it takes all kinds.

1:14:56 Drew Right.

1:14:56 Adam It just.

1:14:56 Drew It just closes it out.

1:14:57 Adam It just means takes, it's different strokes to rule the world.

1:15:02 Orlando Jones We celebrate our differences.

1:15:04 Drew Right.

1:15:05 Adam There's a, it just, I don't know why it takes. I don't know why they say takes, but it just means.

1:15:09 Orlando Jones It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. It takes all kinds of people to make a society. It takes all kinds of people for us to live together.

1:15:16 Drew The subtle message is we cannot judge.

1:15:18 Adam Right.

1:15:18 Drew We do not judge.

1:15:20 Orlando Jones It takes all kinds.

1:15:21 Drew You're very general, so don't judge.

1:15:23 Adam But it's not, it's not that harmonious. It just means, well, there's all kinds of crazy people out there.

1:15:28 Drew But we can't judge them.

1:15:29 Adam All right, you got that Roger?

1:15:31 Caller Thank you.

1:15:32 Adam All right, I'd like to see you get out of North Hollywood. Yeah, what high school are you going to?

1:15:37 Caller Well, actually we had this discussion about a year ago. I'm going to Cleveland High.

1:15:40 Adam Oh, okay.

1:15:41 Drew It's the feeder school, isn't it?

1:15:42 Adam That's better. Yeah, cause otherwise.

1:15:44 Drew Oh, you called in a year ago?

1:15:45 Caller Yeah, and on Adam's birthday.

1:15:47 Drew I remember this.

1:15:48 Caller Oh, really?

1:15:49 Drew That's where I first heard about Cleveland High.

1:15:51 Caller All right. Oh, wow.

1:15:52 Adam Thanks, we played them in football.

1:15:54 Orlando Jones Hey, it takes all kinds.

1:15:55 Adam All right, here's the thing. I'm sure it's named after a president, but Cleveland High, that is, but it was always confusing to me that there was a Cleveland in the San Fernando Valley.

1:16:09 Orlando Jones Oh, yeah, it's like there's a Paris in Texas.

1:16:11 Adam Yeah, yeah, it didn't work out well. I mean, here's the thing. If you're, if you got a presidential name that you want to name a high school after, it's gotta be in the corresponding city, like any Washingtons need to be in Washington, any Clevelands need to be in Cleveland.

1:16:26 Drew And by the way, why, a lot of presidents to choose from. Two Grover Clevelands? Really?

1:16:32 Adam High school?

1:16:33 Orlando Jones I thought it was James Cleveland.

1:16:35 Adam What'd he do?

1:16:36 Orlando Jones He was the father of Jefferson's.

1:16:37 Caller Oh, really?

1:16:39 Adam I thought he did something with peanut butter.

1:16:42 Drew But what's Grover Clevelands?

1:16:43 Orlando Jones That was George Washington Carver.

1:16:44 Adam Well, whenever there's a black dude who did something and I can't think of what it is, I go peanuts.

1:16:48 Orlando Jones You go peanuts? It's George Washington Carver.

1:16:50 Adam Yeah, no, I'm hip. He came up with 10,000 things to do with peanuts.

1:16:53 Orlando Jones Grover Clevelands? Grover was the dude on Sesame Street in a garbage can. Cleveland I don't know about.

1:16:58 Adam Cleveland, Cleveland the president? I didn't even know when he was the teen.

1:17:02 Drew Just 1890s, by the way.

1:17:04 Adam 1890s.

1:17:04 Orlando Jones I think he was one of the presidents that.

1:17:06 Drew Big fat guy. Everyone hated him, he was a party boss guy.

1:17:10 Orlando Jones Yeah, I think he was the guy who lost popular sovereignty but won the Electoral College vote. I think he was one of those guys.

1:17:16 Caller Wow. That happened in 2000.

1:17:19 Adam Orlando, damn.

1:17:19 Drew But he was sort of not a popular guy. Teddy Roosevelt hated him.

1:17:23 Orlando Jones No, that's what I'm saying. Popular sovereignty voted in another president in Electoral College.

1:17:26 Drew He was a boss leader in New York.

1:17:28 Orlando Jones Yeah, he was a shady kind of cat.

1:17:32 Adam And in Los Angeles, by the way. Did he grow up out here? You know what I mean? You know, he's an East Coast guy.

1:17:40 Orlando Jones Well, you know how it works. He spent some money out here.

1:17:43 Drew Right, there you go.

1:17:45 Orlando Jones There you go. All right.

1:17:47 Adam Look up Cleveland.

1:17:49 Drew Grover Cleveland.

1:17:50 Adam President, yeah.

1:17:51 Drew How about It Takes All Kind? You got the source of that? Yeah, it's just a bunch of websites that have different people saying that. So there's no origin of it.

1:17:59 Adam Words. So no.

1:18:00 Drew Don't look up Cleveland. Yeah, let me look up those websites. All right, take a right. You talk to the acronyms about hustle and I'm gonna go. You take four and five.

1:18:08 Adam Four and five. Okay. Someone has an acronym for my new hustle campaign. Go ahead, Joe. What's happening?

1:18:18 Caller Yeah, my acronym for hustle is Hurrying Up Street Traffic and Life Efficiently.

1:18:24 Adam Traffic, the traffic is nice.

1:18:26 Drew Yes, traffic goes nice in there.

1:18:29 Caller All right. And then the life part's like for shake your ass for everything else. Right, right.

1:18:34 Adam The life, life is the weak part, but everything else is super strong.

1:18:39 Caller Yeah, I don't know, the L kind of threw me off, but I try.

1:18:44 Adam Right, right, no, that's solid. That's a good, that's much better. You're 19, you're calling from Fresno, and you're way ahead of Drew.

1:18:52 Drew Way ahead, much better.

1:18:53 Caller What was your E again?

1:18:55 Adam Efficiency, right? Efficiently. Oh, efficiently. Yeah, with the L-Y. Yeah, see, I would like to work an insult into the hustle acronym. I'd like hurry up spineless traffic losers. You know what I'm saying? I would like to shame them a little bit. Todd?

1:19:20 Caller Yeah.

1:19:20 Adam You're 26, what's up?

1:19:22 Caller Okay, I got it, I think I got it.

1:19:24 Caller This one kind of stays in the vein. It's like, it kind of helps out with both.

1:19:28 Caller And it's like, it gets to the point.

1:19:30 Caller Here we go. Hurry up slackers. Today, loafing ends.

1:19:40 Adam Powerful, work slacks in time.

1:19:41 Orlando Jones Yeah, good one for that one.

1:19:42 Drew And loafing, slackers and loafing, the key word.

1:19:44 Adam That's solid.

1:19:45 Orlando Jones Today, loafing ends, okay.

1:19:46 Adam That's solid. Thank you for calling in there, buddy. Well, that was good. I mean, we're normally profoundly disappointed by any time anyone calls with a suggestion or an announcement, but those were both strong. Drew, we got a heroin call over here.

1:20:01 Drew Next after the break, huh?

1:20:03 Adam All right. We got a 28 year old boyfriend broke up with her.

1:20:05 Orlando Jones Did you say heroin?

1:20:06 Adam Heroin, yeah.

1:20:07 Orlando Jones You want to wait till after the break? I mean, I'm not telling you how to do your job.

1:20:10 Adam May OD during the break, Drew. Drew's got to find out where Takes All Kinds came from. Figure out why we need two Southland high schools named after Grover Cleveland.

1:20:20 Caller Yeah, that's a good one to pull out.

1:20:21 Adam Most didn't like or remember. And unless he's from the San Fernando Valley, which I highly doubt. I don't know. Find out where he's from. And maybe that high school isn't named after that Cleveland. Maybe there's another Cleveland. All right, let's take a little break. Orlando Jones is in a studio tonight. Man, is this guy smart. Knowing about the popular vote.

1:20:44 Caller Hey, I was a guess.

1:20:46 Adam And I mean, wow, that is sharp. We'll take a Father of the Pride, by the way, nine o'clock on Tuesday nights on NBC. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:21:22 Caller Here buddy, it's Loveline.

1:21:24 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dave Navarro in here tomorrow night. Poly-Sci major Orlando Jones in here tonight. And he was just explaining to Dr. Drew and myself how democracy worked, actually.

1:21:40 Orlando Jones Well, in this country, electoral college.

1:21:42 Adam I know there's two things that were never really discussed in junior high or high school. The geography and the system for voting and electoral college stuff and house and senate and seats and all that never, never was discussed. But we had to focus on retarded things like cooking and learning to make...

1:22:08 Orlando Jones Shop class...

1:22:09 Adam .Parmesan popovers where, of course, you wouldn't want to teach your students about how the government worked. Instead, you would explain to them how to apply Parmesan cheese to Pillsbury dough. That's important.

1:22:25 Drew That's like some sort of vocational rehab for the mentally deficient.

1:22:28 Adam Yeah. It's what you do with people who have been injured, gotten head trauma and stuff. You warehouse them. You put them in a group of 30.

1:22:37 Drew Really, it's true.

1:22:37 Adam You speak to them in those sort of...

1:22:39 Drew Let them play with clay.

1:22:40 Caller Today, we're going to take out your pan.

1:22:44 Adam Timmy, don't hit yourself on the head with the pan. Take the pan out and put the grease on the pan. Now, that was my education, just standing in between felons and retards. You know what I discovered in cooking class? I'll tell you, everyone discovered that the pan fit in the sink almost like a piston fits in a cylinder and that if you filled the sink completely and then put the pan on top of it and pressed it down, immediately all the water would just come sailing out. It was those kinds of things.

1:23:15 Drew And that South Park reference reminded me of Family Guy and I wanted to tell you something. I forgot to tell you, Adam, I was at the UCLA game, football game this weekend, and lo and behold, the UCLA marching band plays the Family Guy theme.

1:23:27 Caller Wow. Really.

1:23:29 Drew It's really coming in.

1:23:30 Adam Hip. All right. So, Orlando here. Love that show. No father of the pride, but a decent animated show.

1:23:38 Orlando Jones Does what it can.

1:23:39 Caller We can't all be the original.

1:23:42 Orlando Jones No, I like the Family Guy. I think it's a funny show.

1:23:44 Adam Wendy? You're 18?

1:23:47 Caller Yeah, I've only been 18 for about 6 months too.

1:23:50 Adam All righty. Hold on, Wendy, just for fun. I know you're junky, but was that a joke or was there irony there or is that just?

1:24:03 Caller Well, yeah, because I'm going to jail tomorrow and I've got two felonies on my record. So I'm one of those felons in your class or whatever, but I've got two felonies on my record. I'm only 18 for six months.

1:24:16 Drew So you're sort of you're gloating.

1:24:18 Caller No, that's a horrible thing.

1:24:21 Adam What are the felonies for?

1:24:22 Caller Drug charges.

1:24:25 Drew So what's happening?

1:24:26 Caller Well, I've been using heroin since I was 14 and I've been using drugs since I was seven or eight.

1:24:34 Drew Oh, my God. How did you get?

1:24:36 Caller My parents brought them in the house and it wasn't like they gave them to me, but because they were around, you know, you see your dad do a lot and you figure it's okay. So, I've been doing drugs for about 11 years. Well, I've been doing heroin for four years and for the last like year or so, I haven't gotten my period.

1:24:54 Drew When you're doing heroin, you don't get your period typically, you know?

1:24:57 Caller But when I would quit doing heroin, like about six months ago, I stopped doing heroin. I got my period about a month later. Well, I haven't done heroin in three months and I still haven't gotten my period.

1:25:06 Drew Is your weight, way down?

1:25:08 Caller Actually, my weight went up.

1:25:10 Adam How does the heroin...

1:25:12 Drew It changes the dopamine metabolism, suppresses the pituitary release of the cycling hormones for your ovaries and...

1:25:18 Orlando Jones Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

1:25:19 Adam You're a real doctor or just a loved doctor?

1:25:21 Drew That's right. And so, Wendy, are you on any other medication right now?

1:25:25 Caller No, uh-uh.

1:25:26 Drew Nothing?

1:25:27 Caller Nothing.

1:25:28 Drew You just came off heroin and you didn't replace it with anything else?

1:25:31 Caller Well, I went to jail. And so, in jail, I kicked heroin. It took me about a week to kick. And, uh, because I was doing an 8-ball a day when I went to jail.

1:25:40 Drew That's a lot of fun, then, kicking up from that.

1:25:44 Caller I got abused by my dad for like nine years and that wasn't half as painful as the five days of kicking.

1:25:49 Adam And what is that 8-ball? Was that like 3.2 grams or something?

1:25:55 Caller 3.5.

1:25:56 Adam 3.5 grams.

1:25:58 Orlando Jones You got 3.2. They gypped you.

1:25:59 Caller Yeah.

1:26:00 Drew It's a lot of heroin.

1:26:01 Caller Yeah.

1:26:02 Adam I got to split, fellas. I got to settle something.

1:26:04 Drew See you later.

1:26:05 Caller Yeah.

1:26:06 Drew So, Wendy.

1:26:06 Adam Orlando needs some backup.

1:26:07 Drew So, your concern is you're not menstruating now, even though you're taking nothing. Is that correct? Nothing? No pot? No nothing?

1:26:13 Caller Nothing.

1:26:14 Drew Not at all.

1:26:14 Caller I'm actually on house arrest. I go to jail tomorrow and I'm on house arrest right now, so I haven't even had the chance to do anything even if I wanted to.

1:26:21 Drew But you're not on no methadone or nothing?

1:26:23 Caller Nothing.

1:26:24 Adam So, you got the ankle bracelet on?

1:26:26 Drew No.

1:26:27 Caller I have to report to pretrial services. They don't even call me or anything like that. I could go anywhere I wanted to if I wanted to.

1:26:34 Adam Well, why not that ankle bracelet?

1:26:36 Caller Because that's EHM, electric home monitoring, and it costs $140 a week. I couldn't afford that.

1:26:42 Caller Oh, I see. I see.

1:26:44 Adam All right. So, you're going to the joint tomorrow?

1:26:47 Caller Yeah.

1:26:48 Adam For how long?

1:26:48 Caller Well, I'm going to be in a chemical dependency program for a cut.

1:26:52 Drew Oh, that's awesome. That is awesome. Well, you'll see a doctor there no doubt. And he's talking about the lack of cycling. It's not uncommon, though, for it to take six months to get back on board.

1:27:02 Caller Well, the other thing that I was wondering about is I've never had a pap smear. Could that be part of it?

1:27:08 Drew No, but you definitely need a pap smear if you're sexually active just to make sure you, you know, is controlled.

1:27:13 Caller What is a pap smear?

1:27:15 Drew Pap smear, they reach in, you take a speculum, open the vagina up and reach in with a stick and scrape some cells off or a brush. Well, because you can get cervical cancer very easily at your age. And if you have the ward virus, you will be prone to cervical cancer. And if you have the pre-cancerous changes, they can be cured.

1:27:31 Adam You've been shooting junk for four years, you'll be all right with this.

1:27:34 Drew Yeah, you'll handle the speculum exam.

1:27:35 Adam Yeah. If a figure five, a student who's a prodigy on the harp can handle it, the junkie can handle it. That's all I'm saying.

1:27:44 Drew I'm just so happy they're giving her a treatment as an option. That's awesome.

1:27:47 Adam Yeah, me too.

1:27:47 Drew Yeah, that's a big deal.

1:27:48 Adam And she sounds like she's better.

1:27:49 Orlando Jones Hey, congrats. That's tough to beat it and still be making the choices that you're making.

1:27:54 Drew Big deal.

1:27:56 Adam All right. Where are we going next here?

1:27:57 Drew Kayla.

1:28:01 Caller Hey.

1:28:02 Adam Nineteen. What's up?

1:28:03 Caller Okay. I have two simple questions. First, I was wondering, okay, my boyfriend is 23. When we have sex, like, you know, like from the back or whatnot, he, like, if I try to put my hand back there or anything, he'll, he'll, like, get really upset and move my hand and say that it throws him off and he'll go soft.

1:28:23 Adam Well, what do you mean put your hand back there?

1:28:26 Caller Like, if I try to, like, touch myself or something, like, you know, like, any...

1:28:30 Adam Oh, oh, touch yourself, sort of, help yourself along, you're, you're in doggy position now, right?

1:28:35 Caller Yeah, exactly.

1:28:36 Adam Exactly.

1:28:37 Drew And you're, you're masturbating yourself.

1:28:39 Caller Yeah.

1:28:40 Drew Yeah, some guys freak out about that.

1:28:41 Adam It throws him off.

1:28:42 Drew Well, he, this is one of the guys that thinks he should be able to, you know...

1:28:44 Caller Yeah, and, like, like, it's really confusing because, like, a lot of the time when we're having, when we get ready to have sex, he doesn't, like, try any foreplay or anything. He'll even try to put it in soft, like, I don't get it.

1:28:56 Adam What in soft? How do you...

1:28:58 Orlando Jones Yeah, basically what...

1:28:59 Caller It's like trying to shoot someone with no bullets.

1:29:01 Orlando Jones You need a more seasoned artisan in the field.

1:29:03 Drew More than that, why would you even hang with this guy? I don't know.

1:29:08 Orlando Jones Did he hit you with a club and drag you home to his house? Kay, thank you.

1:29:13 Drew Sorry.

1:29:14 Adam Yeah, Kay, let's see. Well, hey, it seems... And is this your boyfriend? I know you're calling him your boyfriend, but is he your boyfriend?

1:29:20 Caller Well, like, we've been together almost a year or whatnot. You know, like, I don't know. Like, in the beginning, like, we used to, like, do things or not, but now he just... He's weird. Like, he won't even let me, like, go down on him. He doesn't like... He doesn't like to feel wet. Like, we won't...

1:29:39 Adam Okay, look, here's the thing, everybody. Guys who have too many rules in the bedroom need to be tossed out of the bedroom. That's the deal. The guys who have that, like, I like the... It goes either direction, the whole spectrum.

1:29:53 Drew By the way, women, the rules are, hey, listen, you're in charge. The guy listens to you.

1:29:57 Adam Yeah.

1:29:57 Drew That's it. You got the goods.

1:29:58 Adam Here's what's in it for them. They get laid. They get a BJ. Now they shut up and they start going down on you.

1:30:04 Drew Or whatever. Whatever you want.

1:30:05 Adam Yeah, whatever you want.

1:30:06 Orlando Jones It's up to me. If it's not that fulfilling to you and you feel trapped within your own sexual relationship, you should seek out one that's more fulfilling.

1:30:14 Adam Yeah. And this stuff, although it seems like something that is just contained to the bedroom, we all know it's smacks of larger, more global problems in a guy. Show me the guy. He doesn't like wet. He doesn't like you touching. He's all weird. He's trying to stuff it in limp. And by the way, what's in it for him with the limp stuffing? You know what I'm saying?

1:30:34 Drew It's all weird.

1:30:35 Orlando Jones That's what we call a sport hunk on behalf of Stoker.

1:30:38 Drew Doesn't like it wet.

1:30:39 Adam Let me say this. Speaking of stuffing, I was trying to. I got into a cranberry. No, no, I'm going to get my cranberry recipe soon. And holidays are coming up in a quick pie speech, too. But let me say this. I was maybe on two occasions this weekend. Once I opened a thing of multiple vitamins, I had to try to get the cotton out of there. Then with the aspirin, middle of the night, like hung over trying to the small aspirin when we can't get your fingers in there and I start putting like a ballpoint pen in there. Then sometimes you're eating your first or second aspirin or multivitamin. You realize, oh, yes, there's a piece of cotton stuffed in my mouth. Haven't improved on the cotton stuffed in there in 90 years. Nothing we could do. There's nothing. That's it. Just I got to sit there like some kind of just a raccoon trying to get it at a fish, you know, just I'm not sure is in any way necessary when like when we get samples of medication in my office. No cotton.

1:31:38 Drew No cotton.

1:31:39 Caller What?

1:31:39 Drew What?

1:31:39 Orlando Jones And literally, I thought they put that silica in there now.

1:31:44 Drew They also put the cotton in sometimes.

1:31:46 Caller They do.

1:31:46 Drew They're over the counter. Oh, no.

1:31:48 Adam All the multivitamins and the aspirin and stuff is still cotton and and I'm still like an idiot. And like I said, if it's a small aspirin thing and the openings about the size of a dime, you got your pinky stuffed in there, which just serves to sort of ram it in there a little bit. Shredding it as you try to shred it little pieces and then inevitably, like I said, you're eating now. Now it ends up getting caught on that little the there's like a little foil thing. The hymen you have to never fully get off. So that so there's a jagged edge that catches the cotton.

1:32:21 Caller So now when you shreds and pulls apart, how long were you working on this?

1:32:25 Drew About three days, about three and how many cumulative months have been spent digging stuff out?

1:32:30 Adam I got I got a lifetime. Yeah, I got a lifetime.

1:32:33 Orlando Jones I think this may have been designed by the same people who did the smoke detectors, which I think is the problem.

1:32:37 Adam I'm just in a good callback, by the way, Orlando. All I'm saying is, is let's improve on that cotton. Let's do something or put a goddamn hook on it or something. Put something. But you know, put a tampon string on it.

1:32:50 Drew That's all you need.

1:32:51 Adam Put a tampon. All you need. That's just something. Give me, let me get it out of there.

1:32:54 Drew Absolutely.

1:32:55 Adam Is it, really? I have to get tools out?

1:32:57 Drew Is it that much different than a vagina?

1:32:59 Adam I gotta get tools out to get the cotton out of the thing or I gotta go get the shop vac or something?

1:33:03 Drew You're right. All right.

1:33:04 Caller Drew, am I right or am I right?

1:33:05 Drew You're absolutely right.

1:33:06 Orlando Jones I like the tampon string idea. I think that's good.

1:33:08 Drew That's it.

1:33:08 Adam I have eaten, by the way, I've consumed the equivalent of a comforter. A California king comforter. Over the years, in cotton.

1:33:17 Drew Sofa pillow.

1:33:18 Adam No, no, the comforter.

1:33:19 Drew That's fine.

1:33:21 Adam We'll take a, let's see, your soap pillow is not better than the comforter.

1:33:25 Drew You're right.

1:33:25 Adam You got to do better.

1:33:26 Caller You see what I'm saying?

1:33:27 Drew Can't do better.

1:33:28 Adam Can't do better.

1:33:30 Caller What would it be better?

1:33:31 Orlando Jones 42 ounce California king comforter.

1:33:33 Caller That's the point.

1:33:33 Adam You either do better or nothing. That's what I'm saying, Drew.

1:33:36 Caller Fair enough.

1:33:37 Adam Drew's mad now.

1:33:38 Caller I'll talk to him during the break.

1:33:40 Adam We'll be back.

1:33:41 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

1:33:42 Caller Look in the hookup, call the Dateline.

1:33:44 Caller Stick a waist in time with the wrong person, call the Dateline.

1:33:47 Orlando Jones One call is all you need to pick.

1:33:48 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:49 Caller 1-877-889-DATE.

1:34:09 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:34:10 Adam Yeah, well that's a show. Where'd the time go?

1:34:13 Caller How come? I don't know.

1:34:14 Adam That was one of those shows that started fast.

1:34:16 Drew Ended quick.

1:34:17 Caller Took a little like, huh?

1:34:19 Adam And then pow, over.

1:34:20 Drew Gone.

1:34:20 Adam Gone. Dust in the wind.

1:34:22 Orlando Jones Good to have you guys.

1:34:23 Adam Never to be reclaimed.

1:34:24 Orlando Jones A lot of fun.

1:34:25 Adam Oh, always a good time. Orlando Jones, you come back anytime you like.

1:34:30 Orlando Jones It's been a long time. I think the last time I saw you, was the TV show.

1:34:34 Adam Well, you're in town, so.

1:34:36 Orlando Jones I'm in town for once, yeah.

1:34:37 Adam More regularly.

1:34:38 Orlando Jones I would love to, man, yeah.

1:34:39 Adam Father of the Pride, everyone. Tuesday nights, NBC, nine o'clock.

1:34:43 Orlando Jones Yeah, check it out.

1:34:43 Adam Check out Orlando over there. And yes, the catch, what?

1:34:47 Drew The catch?

1:34:47 Orlando Jones The catch? Oh, no, not later on this year.

1:34:50 Drew All right, all right.

1:34:51 Orlando Jones I'll come back. We'll talk about it.

1:34:52 Adam Come back and plug that. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, throw it, please, please, then. Saying, mahalo.

1:35:02 Caller Turn right, you pussies! Right, I don't know about it. It's red, it's safe. Shake your ass. Right on the rail. You don't want to build another railroad?

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Sunday, October 10, 2004