Episode 1000650190524

0:01 Adam I know Elon, but I just know him like I know his name, and it's familiar, and I'm sure we've met a few times.

0:20 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

0:23 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

0:26 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

0:29 Voiceover This is Loveline.

0:33 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

0:35 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Drew is in Syracuse, New York. Yes, Drew?

0:47 Drew Yes, Adam.

0:48 Adam Yes, Drew.

0:49 Drew You would love it here. It's beautiful. The trees are changing colors. Crystal, clean, beautiful, cool air.

0:57 Adam Yeah. They're changing colors here, too, but it's because gang bangers are spray painting on them. So it's a slightly different vibe.

1:05 Drew It's a different kind of gold.

1:06 Adam Yeah. Bonnie Somerville is here tonight. Bonnie is first season on NYPD Blue, of course, on ABC Tuesday nights at 10 o'clock and also in Without a Paddle, which we were talking about last night, I think, Drew. $55 million. Thank you very much.

1:27 Yeah.

1:27 Adam Wait. Chris, you got to tell the guests to talk into the microphone. You got to turn the mic toward them.

1:32 That would be nice if someone told me what to do.

1:34 Adam Move it around, baby doll. You don't have to chase it. Yeah. Let the mic come to you.

1:40 I do. I never chase it. Never.

1:41 Adam That's right. And you know what? When you don't chase it, it makes the mic want you more.

1:46 Always.

1:48 Adam That's what I did with my mic. I was like, I'm not into mics. And the mic was like, what's up? Everyone's into me. And I'm like, yeah, just not my thing.

1:56 You have to earn it.

1:57 Adam Yeah. Prove it. Yeah.

2:02 Drew Yes.

2:03 Adam Yeah.

2:03 Drew Right there.

2:04 Adam You'd like Bonnie.

2:05 Drew Oh, yeah.

2:06 Adam Now, she's good.

2:07 Drew I saw the movie. You didn't see the movie.

2:09 Adam She's good looking.

2:10 Were you really talking about it? Are you just saying?

2:11 Adam Yeah. No, we were.

2:12 No, we were.

2:13 Adam No, Drew saw the movie.

2:14 You liked it?

2:15 Drew Yeah.

2:15 Wow.

2:16 Drew My kids loved it.

2:17 Adam Yeah. Drew liked it. The kids loved it. Everyone was happy. And let me. Oh. And Chris, move the mic again.

2:22 Thank you.

2:23 Adam The.

2:24 Drew Looking at 55 million.

2:26 Fifty five. Really?

2:28 Adam Yeah.

2:29 Drew Yeah.

2:29 Adam You're a big time baby, dog.

2:30 Wow. I'm huge.

2:32 Adam And here's the other thing, Drew. Bonnie's right up your alley. Drew, Drew enjoys. He likes blondes.

2:39 Caller Oh, you do?

2:40 Adam Mm hmm. Drew. Well, no, Drew, you can say that because your wife is blonde. You see?

2:45 Drew That's right.

2:45 Caller Oh. Well, then you have to say that, actually. Then you have no choice.

2:48 Drew That's right.

2:49 Adam Yeah. But it's tough because you're still admitting to liking somebody in a sense. You know what I'm saying? Right.

2:56 Caller Somebody else.

2:57 Adam Right. Anyway, Drew, passionate man, Bonnie, beautiful woman. You guys make a wonderful couple. That's all I'm saying. All right. So Drew's in Syracuse. So you really couldn't get further away, could you? Could you get further than Syracuse?

3:11 Drew I could be, actually, in the Atlantic Ocean.

3:13 Adam Yeah. What did you do over there?

3:16 Drew Spoke at another Ithaca school this time, Ithaca College. I was in Cornell a couple months ago.

3:20 Caller Oh, yeah.

3:22 Drew And made that lovely trip from 5 a.m. LAX to Chicago to Syracuse, get in a car, drive two hours to Ithaca, drive two hours back so I could do the radio show.

3:32 Adam Let me see if I can do that math. You're averaging about 18 cents a mile, Drew. Maybe less. Yeah. Maybe less. Yeah. Just do the math one of these days. Here's the thing. If they make it at least 50 cents a mile, don't go.

3:49 Drew I enjoy talking to kids so much.

3:53 Adam How about, but wouldn't you enjoy it more if they were actually in the continental United States?

3:59 Drew Possibly.

4:00 Adam You didn't have to take-

4:01 Drew All things being equal, yes.

4:03 Adam Yeah. You didn't have to take the spruce goose and a couple of barges and spend the night in a hut to get to where these kids are.

4:10 Caller Camping.

4:11 Adam Yeah. Wouldn't it be nicer? All right. How's NYPD Blue treating you, by the way, Bonnie?

4:17 Caller It's great. It's the greatest show I've ever worked on by far.

4:21 Adam Why?

4:22 Caller I mean, the show is, it runs itself. It's been on forever. They know exactly what they're doing. It's the nicest group of people I've ever met.

4:29 Adam Really?

4:30 Caller Yeah. And the best group of actors I've ever worked with. I mean, Dennis Franz is just amazing.

4:34 Adam Is it because, I mean, you feel like the show is secure. I mean, it's sort of like, I don't know, when shows are young, they're almost like young teenage boys having to prove themselves, and then they sort of mellow into nicer older guys. Is it a nicer older guy?

4:50 Caller Yeah. Well, every show I've ever worked on, pretty much with the exception of one, has been a new fledgling, suffering, almost getting canceled, Any Minute Now show. So to get on a show where there's no pressure on me at all, I just have to show up and do a good job and get my paycheck, not get fired. And hopefully, the show is amazing on its own.

5:11 Adam Wait, is the show on like year 11 or 12, 12? Wow. Is there a I don't know what's on the air currently. I mean, ER has probably been around for 10 years or something like that.

5:24 Caller I think Law and Order. Is Law and Order?

5:25 Drew Reba has been on 12 years.

5:26 Caller Yeah, Reba. No, I think it seems like longer, but yeah.

5:30 Adam Yeah. I think Mama's Family has been on for like 44 years. You don't know. That stuff just goes on to like the WB, you have no idea the stuff's still on. Yeah, I don't know. Law and Order is still on?

5:43 Caller Is Law and Order even on for 12?

5:44 Adam I don't know.

5:46 Caller Well, there's like Law and Order Antarctica, Law and Order, 57th Street, Law and Order.

5:54 Adam Drew's Closet. Overhead Baggage Compartment. That'd be good, Drew. All right. So Drew's in Syracuse where it is one and change in the morning.

6:08 Drew Yeah, but in my head, I'm still Pacific Times.

6:10 Adam Right. So you're cool. You're cool.

6:12 Drew Yeah.

6:12 Adam And what is it? Is it 40 degrees outside?

6:15 Drew It's good 44, 45 degrees.

6:17 Caller Don't you love it? Isn't it great?

6:19 Drew I haven't had a fall in about 20 years. Like, oh my God, it's fall here. It's fall.

6:24 Caller See, I'm from New York. So I hear that and I get, I miss it so badly.

6:27 Drew You're from New York City?

6:29 Caller I'm from Brooklyn.

6:30 Drew Brooklyn.

6:31 Caller Yes.

6:32 Adam Yeah. You actually have seasons. It starts, it starts feeling like football season.

6:37 Caller You smell it in the air. It smells like fall.

6:39 Adam Thanksgiving starts feeling like Thanksgiving. Yeah. You know, it actually turns to colors of Thanksgiving.

6:45 Caller Especially there. It's so gorgeous right now.

6:47 Adam All right, Drew, don't come back. Stay in Syracuse.

6:51 Drew Fair enough.

6:51 Adam Are you going to be back tomorrow night?

6:53 Drew No, I've got to go to Washington, DC. I'm assembly listen. I'm the keynote speaker for the National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity. Wow.

7:06 Adam Well, that ought to be good.

7:07 Drew Yeah, good times.

7:08 Adam Find out what those kids are up to.

7:09 Caller What did you do?

7:11 Drew All the sex addicts?

7:12 Adam Yeah. Where are your no anal button? You know that ass with the slash, wearing your lapel to those things?

7:19 Caller Just say no to anal.

7:21 Adam Yeah. Do that. And see if you can. Yeah, cut a PSA.

7:25 Drew Everything has a double entendre of that conference. No anal butt ton.

7:30 Adam Right. All right. All right, buddy. Hey, Bonnie.

7:34 Caller Yes.

7:34 Adam Have you done any PSAs for ABC?

7:36 Caller I thought you were going to ask me something else.

7:38 Adam No, no, not an anal question. I wouldn't go there. No, you're from Brooklyn. I assume you do that. I'm saying, I'm saying if you... Have you done any, if ABC asks you to do one of those just read or just talk to your kid ones?

7:54 Caller Hatred is a bad thing. One of those?

7:55 Adam Yeah.

7:56 Caller Would I do it?

7:57 Adam Yeah, I like those.

7:58 Caller I like those.

7:59 Adam I like the ones on the cop cars that the sort of general ones like help stop senior abuse. It's like, okay. Well, I'm not currently beating my grandmother.

8:10 Caller Next time I am, I'll think of this.

8:12 Adam I'll give it some thought. Okay, so I'm not going to do that. Outside of that, really don't know what to do. Unless I start kicking indoors.

8:19 Caller Right.

8:20 Adam Like, I'm not, should I start talking to my friends about it? Listen, have you been, you know, backhanded Nana lately or what am I supposed to do to help end senior abuse?

8:28 Caller You can yell at Nana.

8:30 Adam I really think that's just one of those things that someone decided, look, we need bumper stickers to put on cop cars and the gas, grass or ass is not going to do and the no fat chicks isn't going to work. We need something that can just be universally agreed on. You know, no stepping on puppies. You know, like, stop senior abuse. Oh, all right. All right. And I like when, like, David Schwimmer just tells you to talk. Talk to your kids.

8:58 Caller Yeah.

8:59 Adam Would you talk to them?

9:00 Caller I like it when they do it in a lot with wet floors and, you know, they just happen to be in a warehouse that's been hosed down with blue lighting and little dry ice in the background. Yeah.

9:12 Adam They stop long enough.

9:13 Caller They're smoke rising.

9:15 Adam They stop long enough to tell you to talk to your kids and then they walk away. They don't tell you what to talk about or anything. It's just, would you talk to your kids?

9:21 Caller Talk to your kids.

9:22 Adam It's condescending. All right, Drew, you ready to rock?

9:25 Drew Hey, did you see that Roddy Dangerfield died?

9:27 Adam Uh-oh.

9:28 Caller I heard that.

9:29 Adam Uh-oh.

9:30 Caller Wow.

9:30 Adam Yeah. Now, I feel bad because I always said bad things about him, you know? He's like bad karma. He was a great man. He was a great man. Great comic. He lived a long life. What did he live through, Drew? Hey, how you doing?

9:44 Caller He lived a very long life.

9:46 Adam What did he make it to? Like 80?

9:48 Drew 82.

9:49 Adam 82.

9:49 Caller Wasn't he in a coma for a while?

9:51 Adam He was in a coma.

9:54 Drew Yeah.

9:55 Adam He was on Kimmel like three weeks ago. I kid you not. I mean, Rodney Dangerfield literally got carted out to Kimmel to plug his book. It was less than a month ago. And I remember just thinking, what are you doing? I'm like, you know, enjoy your old and pow, like two weeks later into the coma. I'd say he had a bad first half of his life and a good second half, yes, Drew?

10:25 Drew Yeah, I think that's right.

10:26 Adam And by the way, how come there wasn't much coverage on Rodney Dangerfield in a coma?

10:32 Caller I didn't even know that till today. Somebody said at work, yeah, he was in a coma. I said, for how long?

10:37 Drew The press accepts the gloss that people put on it. Look, you have a stroke in a coma after aortic valve surgery. That is bad times. I told you, I said, he's not going to make it. And then he developed subthesemia infection. It was over weeks ago, I could tell.

10:51 Adam Right.

10:52 Drew But of course, the press go, oh, well, he's just in a little coma. No big deal. Just a coma.

10:56 Adam They didn't say little coma.

10:58 Caller It's a small coma.

10:59 Adam Yeah, mini coma.

11:00 Caller Nothing to worry about.

11:01 Adam Comat, they call them. Yeah. All I'm saying is, is one of the most popular standups and comedic figures of all time goes into a coma and you barely hear about it.

11:14 Caller It doesn't get any respect, I guess.

11:16 Adam If it's in a coma, oh, no, you're going to hell.

11:18 Caller No, I couldn't resist that.

11:20 Adam Two weeks, the guy's in a coma. No one said that. Meanwhile, there's a volcano that's belching just a little, like a handful of ash every other day and it's all the news can talk about. All right. You ready to rock here, Drew?

11:33 Drew Let's go. You've got the thing to your end.

11:36 Adam All right. You know what's funny, Drew?

11:41 Drew No.

11:42 Adam Oh, God, is that true? Do you not know what is funny? Nobody knows what's not funny more than Drew. Well, truer words were never spoken, never spoken, Drew.

11:53 Drew That's why I was so emphatic about it, absolutely not.

11:56 Adam All right, here's what I'm saying. I always, whenever Drew goes out of town, Drew picks the calls by sticking these little stickums up to the call that he wants. And whenever he leaves town, the stickum is always on the little post-it note, is always next to the call that was from 22 hours ago when we were here last night. And I always look down and go, oh, that's the one Drew picked.

12:19 Caller Are these random?

12:21 Adam They're gonna be tonight.

12:23 Drew By the way, I just went on, wait a second, I just went online and looked at the previous reports on Roddy Dangerfield. And here's the headline, Dangerfield in light coma.

12:32 Caller Light coma?

12:34 Adam What is that?

12:35 Drew That's stupid, it's idiot. I wanna kill the press.

12:40 Adam Yeah, I was telling Drew the other day, like here would be, I would be horrible, like if a loved one was in a coma, I'd be, you know, cause they always do that thing where they go, you gotta talk to them. You really, you need to just go over there. Yeah, you need to be with them. I'd be over there and it'd be like, hi dad, how you doing? Dad, hey, pops, yeah, no, nothing? All right, I'm gonna get something to eat. Does anyone need anything? It'd be about 30 seconds of me sitting there looking at that potato before I just went, all right, look, we got two moves here. Either I'm going on a run or somebody got a Sharpie. It's one or the other.

13:20 Caller And a kegger?

13:21 Adam I'm going on a run, who needs something?

13:23 Caller Yeah, but then what if they can hear you? See, then you're in trouble because then they wake up. Yeah, yeah. And then your dad wakes up and he's like.

13:30 Adam Yeah, I don't know, Drew, what about talking to them when they're in the coma? No?

13:35 Drew Maybe it might lighten the spirits while they're in the coma, but they will not remember.

13:39 Adam No way. Okay, all right.

13:40 Drew Especially an old guy like this that's in a metabolic coma, impossible.

13:43 Adam All right, what's the difference between a metabolic coma and a coma coma?

13:47 Caller In a comat.

13:47 Drew Well, a coma from when a structural problem in the brain are being bonked in the head, that kind of thing is different than your body is you're getting, you know, multi-system failure, kind of stroke. It's a, you know, you're old, that's not, that's bad times. I'm reading through this thing too. So it's the wife, it's clear that it was the wife who's going, she calls it a light coma, she says he's getting better, she says he's looking at her and smiling. No, no, no, no.

14:08 Adam All right, well.

14:09 Drew That's why they spun it that way.

14:10 Adam He'll be missed. Michael?

14:14 Caller Hello?

14:15 Adam Hello? 22?

14:18 Caller Yep.

14:19 Adam What's up?

14:20 Caller I've had some debates.

14:22 Caller I've had many health classes, I'm in college now and I've had health in college and they never really explained the day after pill. I've had people say, oh, it's abortion, but I've always said, no, it can't be abortion.

14:35 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

14:36 Caller So.

14:37 Drew Have you looked up the science? Have you looked up the material?

14:41 Caller You know, I've looked it up in the books that I got through the classes in college I took, the health classes.

14:47 Drew You're going to have to go get the primary literature out of the medical literature.

14:51 Adam Well, he's asking you, Drew. He's calling you.

14:53 Drew If you're talking about emergency contraception, right? Not RU-486. But the emergency contraception.

14:59 Adam Morning after pill.

15:00 Drew Which is Plan B. It's a progesterone that you take within 72 hours of unprotected intercourse. It is not an abortion pill. It prevents the egg from being released. There was a New England Journal article just a couple weeks ago that finally admitted that's the way it works. It may have a finite effect on implantation, about the same risk as the birth control pill taken normally, about the same risk as the medication taken off the market last week, Vioxx. We don't talk about that. About the same risk as Celebrex. It theoretically may be interfering with implantation, but its primary effect is by preventing ovulation. That's why you have three days. Sperm hangouts hangs out waiting for an egg for three days. And if an egg is released in that three days, you get pregnant. If you suppress the release, you don't get pregnant.

15:47 Adam My sperm doesn't hang.

15:48 Caller Yeah, yours isn't there for three days.

15:49 Adam Same with the coma policy. It's my sperm's like, hey, where's any eggs? Nothing. I'm going on a run. And they actually run.

15:57 Caller Even so, it takes you going on a hamper run.

16:00 Caller They actually grow feet and they run away.

16:01 Adam Yeah, it makes that sound. All right.

16:04 Caller It takes about a day to get where they need to go.

16:08 Adam Drew, you're outraged. You're outraged.

16:10 Caller They take three days.

16:12 Drew Well, three days they hang out, but it takes about a day to get where they need to be.

16:15 Adam Right. But, you know, it's about a day's journey.

16:17 Caller I'm not surprised.

16:18 Adam Yeah. We're outraged by this because we've always said this morning after pills, not an abortion pill, and everyone should get on board with this, especially the a-hole, two-faced right-wingers, the religious nut jobs who claim to be anti-abortion. Here's your chance to put an end to abortion. And of course, they come out against it, which just says to me they like preaching more than they like teenagers.

16:45 Caller Right.

16:45 Drew Either you're interested in helping kids, or you're not. You're interested in protecting an ideology, which is...

16:49 Caller Well, that's the thing. To not let that information out, that the egg isn't even fertilized, is just a crime. It's ridiculous for all these people that are against abortion.

16:58 Drew All right.

16:59 Adam Let's...

16:59 Drew Listen, I would not be talking about it if it did, in fact, have its primary effect from impairing implantation. Then it would be an abortion pill. I agree with that. It doesn't work that way.

17:11 Adam Drew, passionate about his abortion.

17:13 Caller I love that.

17:13 Adam Passionate about his blondes, passionate about traveling for a nickel. Many, many passions, Drew has. Very passionate.

17:21 Caller Passionate about without a paddle.

17:23 Adam Yeah. Oh, love without a paddle. $55 million. Thank you very much.

17:29 Caller So happy.

17:30 Adam Yeah. And a lot of that, I got to say...

17:32 Caller A lot of that is going to me.

17:33 Adam I got to say, well, no, it's not. But if Bonnie Somerville was not in that movie, I got to believe it would be in the low teens in terms of box office gross right now.

17:45 Drew You bet.

17:45 Caller I got to agree with you.

17:46 Adam And I'm talking 13, maybe 14. Let's talk to Caitlin. All right. Talk to Caitlin. Caitlin? You're 18? What's up?

18:02 Caller Well, I'm having problems with my boyfriend. We've been dating for about 15 months now. And until about three or four months ago, every time we had sex, I had an orgasm. And for the last three or four months, like, it's kind of hit and miss. But it doesn't seem to bother him. Like, I have been trying to figure out what's wrong and trying to improve the situation. I've talked to him about it. And, like, he doesn't care. It doesn't, I mean, like, he cares, but he doesn't want to do anything about it. And I don't know what to do.

18:35 Drew What were you liking to do?

18:37 Caller I wanted him to make a valid effort to make sex more enjoyable for me, because as of right now, I don't even really want to have it anymore.

18:46 Adam Mm-mm.

18:46 Caller You know?

18:47 Adam Well, yeah. I'll tell you, you have sex with an angry vagina and you got problems, my friend.

18:53 Caller Well, the thing is, like...

18:55 Adam I saw that. There was a bumper sticker on a LAPD car. It was right next to end senior abuse.

19:01 Caller It was a PSA on HBO.

19:02 Adam Yeah, Schwimmer was talking about never having sex with a... Oh, and talk to your kids. They should just start combining them.

19:10 Caller About crime.

19:11 Adam About crime. An angry vaginist. Caitlin? Yeah? Yeah, so you're angry at him and is he not giving you oral sex?

19:21 Caller Well, sometimes, but not very often. He expects me to give him oral sex.

19:27 Drew Is that what you need, though? Is that what you're missing?

19:30 Caller Well, no, like, I just want him to understand what I need. Like, I started masturbating about two months ago because I realized that I could get myself off easier than he could. And I tried to talk to him about it and I tried to tell him, like, if I can show you what you can do and he's like, well, no, that doesn't turn me on and like he acts as if that is an insult to him that I can't.

19:53 Adam All right, all right.

19:54 Drew Why are you with this guy? Why are you with him?

20:00 Adam Yeah, look, the bloom is off the rose. He's slid into a sort of sexual, guys, they go into their comfort zone sexually and that's it. They just, they're not willing to change. It's easy for them. They got something easy, something regular and that's it. And you're angry at him and he's not listening you and he's not respecting you.

20:21 Caller I'm just so surprised that you're 18, that you're even having this conversation. I mean I didn't even know to ask for anything until I was at least, I don't know, 25. Good for you that you're asking for stuff.

20:33 Adam Yeah, good for you, bad for him. Hey, Caitlin? No, here's what we're saying. Don't come at him with the whiny voice. Come at him with the adult voice.

20:47 Caller Don't go, eh, eh.

20:52 Adam Give him the, uh, eh, eh. See the difference between the, eh, eh, eh, and the, eh, eh.

21:00 Caller But I did tell him, I said, look at, watch me. And he said, no, I don't want to. That doesn't turn me out.

21:07 Caller Wow.

21:07 Adam Well, you're freaking him out. You may, your sexuality may be overtaking him.

21:13 Caller Wow, how old is he?

21:15 Adam He's nine. How old is he Caitlin? He's 18. Look, Caitlin, tell him, forget about sex, we need to communicate, you need to meet my needs, I need to meet your needs, and if that's not going to happen, then we need to break up. That's all. What?

21:37 Drew But you can break up with him, but God forbid you should get married to this guy, come on.

21:40 Adam And by the way...

21:41 Drew You're 19 anyway, you've seen the data on 19 year old marriages, it's like one out of a thousand.

21:46 Adam Hold on.

21:46 Drew 18, it's impossible. How old is this guy?

21:48 Adam He's 18.

21:49 Caller I had to break up with him?

21:51 Adam No.

21:52 Drew No, it's because he won't respond to you, he doesn't care about you.

21:55 Adam Oh, and listen, stop arguing both sides of the point, by the way. Second ago he was an idiot who wasn't listening to you, and now because everything's not perfect you have to break up with him. He's not listening to you. Or just stay with him, who cares? Just don't get pregnant, all right? Hold on, she's 18, he's 18, she's sexually active, they're engaged. She's from Iowa, Jew, yes, am I right? I'm never wrong. Are you Jewish, Caitlin? No, I'm not Jewish.

22:24 Caller No, they're not, they're not, because they're having a lot of oral sex.

22:28 Adam You know what, Drew, have I ever been wrong?

22:30 Drew No, not on this, you couldn't be wrong, she must be mistaken.

22:34 Adam Wow, boy, I got to recalibrate my whole, uh, Judometer. All right, Caitlin, don't get pregnant. And by the way, yes, you can get, you can break up even though you're engaged, because when you get engaged at 17 and a half, you're just made to break up. That's what you're supposed to do. You're not supposed to get married when you get engaged at 17 and change. It's easy to do.

22:58 Caller Is this your first boyfriend?

22:59 Adam No, hold on a second, put her on hold. Caitlin? First boyfriend?

23:07 Caller Wow.

23:07 Adam You got that little girl voice, it worries me.

23:09 Drew Yeah, there's a lot going on with Caitlin, Adam, a lot.

23:13 Adam Is your dad around, Caitlin?

23:15 Caller No, he's not. Well, I mean, he's around, but I'm not living close to him anymore, I moved out.

23:21 Drew What'd he do to you?

23:22 Adam Was he abusive?

23:24 Caller No. My dad's great.

23:26 Adam Why'd you move out so early?

23:29 Caller Because I didn't want to live at home anymore.

23:32 Adam Oh, okay. Drew, write that down.

23:34 Drew She moved out because she moved out.

23:35 Adam I'll tell you, no show gets more of those answers than, first off, I moved out, I moved away, I moved out young. Why? Why is your dad a problem? No, my dad's great. Why'd you move out so young? Because I moved out. Something's going on. Chicks don't move out at 18. Then what is it? Is her mom a pain in the ass? Caitlin, what's wrong? Your mom's a pain? Really, why did you move out so young?

24:09 Drew What's up with her?

24:11 Caller Well, she is very demanding. She's unappreciative.

24:14 Drew No, maybe some more.

24:17 Adam Alcoholic?

24:18 Caller No, she's not. She owns her own business. Since I have been in eighth grade, I have ran half of the business and I've gotten 20 percent of the profits. She has never acknowledged when I did something right, but every time I did something wrong, she was all over it. What kind of business?

24:37 Adam You got 20 percent of the business, though.

24:39 Caller Yeah, but I ran 100 percent of it.

24:43 Drew What kind of business?

24:45 Caller A dog boarding business.

24:48 Adam Lesbian. All right, Caitlin. When you talk about your mom, you sound like you're talking about your boyfriend, by the way. You're very dissatisfied. I don't blame you. Maybe your boyfriend's bad, maybe your mom's bad, maybe that's just your point of view. I don't know. Don't get pregnant. Don't get married. Slow down. I know you've been working since you were young and responsible and all that stuff. Slow down. You're 18. No reason to do anything yet. You couldn't go wrong by slowing down, everybody. Right. All right. Speaking of slowing down, let's stop this show, Drew. Let's grind it to a halt. Bonnie Somerville is here tonight. Bonnie is one of the newer cast members, or maybe the newest cast member on NYPD Blue. Thank you. Thank you. Even though she just showed up, the main reason it's been such a success over the last 12 years. That's the way I look at it. That's what a publicist told me to say. Tuesday nights, 10 o'clock on ABC, also without a paddle. $55 million. Thank you very much. Take a quick break. Be right back after this.

25:54 Thank you for calling Loveline. Your call will be...

26:11 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. All the way in Syracuse, everybody. Bonnie Somerville is here tonight. She is from NYPD Blue, ABC, 10 o'clock, Tuesday nights and also out in theaters without a paddle, which had our good friend Seth Green in here talking about that and what's his nose and what's his nose tail. All right, I can't remember the other guy's name. Dax. Dax, that's right. Well, it's not an everyday name.

26:42 Caller Dax and Matthew.

26:44 Adam Oh yeah, Matthew Lillard came in here. Yeah, and Dax, it's like, you know, it's hard to remember Dax. It's not like, oh yeah, I grew up, I had a neighbor Dax and there's Uncle Dax. Dax, right. Dax's Five and Dime store, you didn't know any Dax.

26:58 Caller Dax's Pizza.

26:59 Adam Yeah, you didn't know any Dax. Nothing named, you didn't have no pet named after Dax. All right, we're in a rock clear, Drew.

27:06 Drew Here we go.

27:10 Adam You sure we're going?

27:11 Drew Here we're going.

27:13 Adam Michelle?

27:15 Drew Yes.

27:15 Adam You're 24?

27:17 Drew Yes.

27:18 Adam What is up?

27:20 Bonnie Somerville I have a question regarding email fax. Hello?

27:25 Adam Yeah.

27:27 Bonnie Somerville Oh, okay. I've been seeing this guy probably for the past maybe eight or nine months and he really enjoys it and I do too somewhat but he is quite big and I've heard pros and cons about it and when we do have it, I don't tend to bleed all the time but I do probably like half the time.

27:53 Adam What's the, hold on, what's the pro part of anal? I'm going to write this down. Put it, laminate it, put it in my wallet. Give me the, yeah, give me the broad strokes on the pros of anal with the big penis.

28:06 Drew She's heard pros and cons.

28:07 Adam Yeah, I've heard pros and cons.

28:09 Bonnie Somerville My pros and cons?

28:10 Adam Yeah, let's hear yours.

28:13 Bonnie Somerville My pro is that I enjoy it.

28:15 Adam Alright, enjoyment, pro.

28:16 Bonnie Somerville The con I guess would be that sometimes I bleed.

28:19 Adam And also that's, yeah. Alright, sometimes you bleed. Alright.

28:25 Bonnie Somerville But I also do bleed when we have regular sex from him.

28:31 Drew You bleed from the vagina, not from the anus.

28:34 Bonnie Somerville Right.

28:34 Drew Yeah, okay.

28:36 Adam And the thing about the cons. Baby Jesus bleeds as a small tear of blood comes from the baby Jesus in the nativity.

28:43 Caller During regular sex or anal?

28:44 Adam No, that's anal. Regular is cool. As far as I know. Yeah, what about it, Drew?

28:52 Drew The thing about the cons on the anal sex is that they keep on accumulating over time because as you get older that whole area can prolapse and it can scar and hemorrhoids and fistulas and it just can be a mess. And so the fact that you're bleeding from it means you're traumatizing the area and you can really head to a lot of trouble. So it's actually something that, does it bring you to orgasm when you're doing that?

29:15 Bonnie Somerville It actually does, yeah.

29:22 Drew Try to avoid the activity that causes the bleeding. Take it easy.

29:25 Adam Well, how big is his pecker, by the way?

29:32 Bonnie Somerville Well, I haven't actually measured it but I would say it's more than, it's probably more than eight inches.

29:41 Adam Wow, that's nice.

29:43 Bonnie Somerville I have done it prior to that with other people but they haven't like, they haven't really gone all the way in and I've never bled from it but he, I think it's just because he's bigger.

29:54 Adam Big man. Yeah. Makes it a tougher cell. See, for me it's kind of like, you know what I mean?

30:01 Bonnie Somerville I have her.

30:02 Adam Alright, I'm done.

30:03 Bonnie Somerville If you do that, you're not supposed to, you're not, he's not supposed to go in all the way because that could be dangerous and he does and I don't know if that's the reason why I bleed.

30:15 Drew Well, the going in all the way part is probably not as big a deal as just the overall.

30:20 Caller Going in.

30:21 Adam Yeah.

30:21 Drew Yeah, the going in at all.

30:23 Caller That's enough.

30:25 Adam That's a, it's a bad combo. It really is. The guy with the big dork who's bent on anal. It's really, it's like the crazy college student with the hunting rifle.

30:36 Caller Yeah. It's a no-win.

30:38 Adam It's bad. Someone's going to get hurt. Yeah. All right. Let's keep on keeping on and speak to Vanessa. Vanessa?

30:48 Bonnie Somerville Hello.

30:48 Adam 21. What's up?

30:51 Bonnie Somerville Well, let's see. I moved back home a year ago. And, you know, things are going cool. Like everything's going really good with my family and stuff. I have a history with women in the past relationships. And now I'm kind of like, you know, gotten over that quote unquote phase in my life and stuff. And so my parents are happy. They were never too happy, you know, when I was in those relationships. But just recently I met someone, a girl, who I'm actually really interested in. And I'm kind of torn between this, you know, everything being good with my family again and, you know, meeting this really awesome person that, you know, something good might happen from it.

31:33 Drew So, you know, well, what are you going to do? I mean, you're you're going to adjust your social life to what sort of satisfies your family.

31:44 Bonnie Somerville I practically did. I mean, my family is like really important to me. Like, we've been close, like.

31:50 Adam But you're you're you're into chicks, right?

31:53 Bonnie Somerville Well, I'm sort of equally into guys. You know, have had better luck with women as far as like emotionally and, you know.

32:04 Drew How do you get so sort of spun about this? How do you get so confused about your identity?

32:09 Bonnie Somerville I think if my parents were okay with it, I would probably be okay with living that life. But, you know, I'm sort of, you know, they're Christians. So and so it sort of puts me in a spot, you know, because it's either like have this lifestyle and not my family or have my family and not this lifestyle.

32:30 Drew Well, you keep calling it a lifestyle. It's just how you're configured. Were you sexually abused growing up or something?

32:36 Bonnie Somerville Yeah, when I was little.

32:38 Adam Yeah, well, that doesn't count.

32:40 Drew No, forget that. But that's where all this sexual orientation confusion comes from. And that's not something...

32:47 Bonnie Somerville Growing up, my birth mother was, you know, a complete slut.

32:49 Drew Uh-oh.

32:50 Bonnie Somerville Seeing that growing up, you know, I think that kind of like put that mentality in my head, that like I want to be the opposite of her.

32:56 Drew Well, look, you were sexually abused. And when women are sexually abused, it's very common for them to have all kinds of issues about their sexual orientation.

33:03 Adam Who sexually abused you?

33:05 Bonnie Somerville Um, I was a friend of the family, actually.

33:08 Bonnie Somerville A friend of your...

33:10 Drew Your current family?

33:11 Bonnie Somerville No, my birth mother's family.

33:13 Drew How old were you when you were adopted by this family?

33:16 Bonnie Somerville Um, well, I lived with my dad, and my stepmom raised me, though. So I moved in with my dad when I was about seven.

33:24 Drew I see. Okay, well, look, if you want to do something to kind of get some clarity about this, get some therapy and decide who it is you are and what you are doing. What?

33:31 Bonnie Somerville I'm going right now, actually.

33:33 Drew Well, good. And that's what you need to do, because you're trying to make decisions that are really important about who you are and what your sources of attraction are based on your family's wishes. And it would be nice if you lived in a perfect world that that would work, but that doesn't work. Now, you may end up being not so confused about who you are and your sexual orientation through therapy, and maybe it will be in such a way that will make your family happy. Maybe it won't, but you'll be better able to deal with that, too.

33:56 Adam I don't get the part where you were molested by a family friend, but you're so worried about your family.

34:02 Bonnie Somerville Oh, that was my birth mother. Her and I don't speak anymore.

34:05 Adam Yeah, but where was your biological dad? He was out?

34:09 Bonnie Somerville He was living 500 miles away, trying to get his life back together, so he could provide a good life for me.

34:15 Adam I don't know.

34:16 Drew It's funny, Adam, how women are, if the sexes had been reversed, and the dad, who was an a-hole, and the mom living far away, she would have moved in with the mom at seven and never let her forget it.

34:26 Adam Yeah, your dad moved 500 miles away and left you with a crazy mom.

34:30 Bonnie Somerville Well, he didn't know she was crazy at the time.

34:33 Adam Well, he got divorced from her, didn't he?

34:35 Bonnie Somerville He was young, and he was into his own things. My dad is actually my hero.

34:43 Adam Look, well, first off, he was young. He was into his own thing. What the hell does that mean? He had a kid. He had a daughter. He abandoned his daughter.

34:51 Bonnie Somerville And he thought the best thing for me would be to leave me with my mother. He thought a kid should be with his mother, but later on in life...

34:57 Adam Kids should be with their mother and their father.

34:58 Drew Yeah, how about he hung out in the same town?

35:03 Bonnie Somerville She was not allowing him to have a normal life. She was calling him at work, following him to work. So he would get fired from his job.

35:13 Adam Did your dad find Jesus Christ later on in life?

35:18 Bonnie Somerville Probably a couple years after he moved away.

35:22 Caller Where was Jesus?

35:23 Caller Was he in jail at the time?

35:27 Caller Where was Jesus?

35:29 Adam Jesus is in the clouds, Dodo.

35:31 Bonnie Somerville He started going to a church and that's where he actually met my stepmother.

35:34 Adam Okay, all right. Listen. Here's what goes on. I don't know why, but one parent has to be the villain and the other one has to be the saint and the dad's the hero. The dad moved away. I mean, you have a young girl and you split. You leave town. And by the way, you leave her with the nut job. And don't tell me he didn't know she was a nut job. She was stalking the guy. Getting fires, calling work. You're talking out of both sides of your mouth. First is, you know, oh, my dad's my hero. I owe him so much. So much reverence. No, he moved out of town. And then when I said, well, why did he leave you with the nut? Oh, he didn't know. And then the next thing you say is she was stalking him at work and he had to leave town. Of course, he knew better than anybody what a psycho bitch this chick was. Of course, that's why he divorced her.

36:26 Caller That's why he moved 500 miles away.

36:27 Adam That's why he fled. And when he fled, he left you with her. Oh, but he thinks a daughter should be with the mother, even though the mother is psychotic. And he also, oh, well, he was still young. He was still fine in himself. Stop giving this guy such a break. Yeah, maybe he's got his stuff together. Maybe he's a decent guy. Maybe you remarried and all that kind of stuff. You don't owe him as much as you think you do. The reason you like chicks is because he left you with Psycho Mom and you got molested.

36:58 Drew But you know, that may not go away.

37:00 Caller Hold on, hold on, hold on, Drew, hold on.

37:04 Adam That's heavy.

37:05 Caller Take a breath.

37:06 Adam Let's take a breath.

37:09 Caller You want some water?

37:10 Adam Yeah, I could go for some agua. That's Mexican for water. Drew, don't say anything. Don't say anything.

37:18 Caller Don't say nothing, alright buddy?

37:19 Adam We're gonna take a break. We're gonna back into this break, okay? Don't say anything. Drew is in Syracuse. We got Bonnie Somerville over here.

37:30 Caller Shhh. Quiet time. Thank you.

37:37 Adam We'll be right back. How much money?

37:56 Caller 3, 2, 1, go!

37:59 Adam Yo, Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there in Syracuse. Bonnie Somerville here tonight, which basically sort of sounds like a cross between one of James Bond's secretaries and Ron Howard's girlfriend from Happy Days. It has a very wholesome but slightly sexual sounding name. Yes, Drew?

38:26 Drew Strangely, that's the way her voice sounds.

38:27 Adam Yeah.

38:28 Caller Really?

38:29 Adam Ooh, seductive, yes.

38:31 Caller Slightly wholesome or slightly sexual? Both.

38:34 Adam Yeah. See how that works?

38:36 Caller That was good.

38:37 Adam Bonnie and I were just having a great discussion. By the way, Bonnie on NYPD Blue, Tuesday nights, 10 o'clock on ABC and currently in theaters and without a panel. Bonnie and I were just having a lovely conversation about crank yankers.

38:53 Caller Yes.

38:54 Adam Yeah. And how much she likes crank yankers. God love you, baby doll.

38:58 Caller And you were shocked. I knew what character you were.

39:00 Adam She knew I was Bircham.

39:02 Caller Bircham kills me.

39:03 Adam And it just reminded me that not only is crank yankers on as we speak, but secondly, I think we got a season one DVD.

39:14 Caller You do?

39:14 Adam Which is out. Yeah.

39:16 Caller I have to buy it. No, I'm serious. Season one, though, that was when I found that, when someone told me about it, because I loved that they were like, you have to see this show that I couldn't believe it. I just I was I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen.

39:29 Adam That's when you fell in love with Frank Ankers.

39:31 Caller I did.

39:31 Adam God love you. And that's kind of thing would, you know, makes you more attracted to me, right?

39:36 Caller Yes.

39:37 Adam I mean, because it factors in. Yeah.

39:38 Caller You as a puppet.

39:40 Adam Yeah.

39:40 Caller I mean, hot, hot, totally hot.

39:44 Adam All right. Let's keep on keeping on here.

39:47 Drew What? It couldn't hurt tomorrow night if everyone tuned into the Late Late Show for you, could it?

39:52 Adam No, no, it couldn't. It couldn't. Yeah. I'm hosting the Late Late Show for the next three nights, actually. That'd be Wednesday, Thursday, Friday of this week.

40:02 Caller I'll watch.

40:03 Adam I'll be filling in. Yeah. As much as people don't believe it, I'm not a big plugger of my stuff. I'd prefer people not watch. Yes, Drew?

40:15 Drew Oh, yeah. But it would be good if they could tomorrow. All right.

40:17 Adam So.

40:17 Caller I'll plug it for you.

40:20 Adam I'll be doing it tomorrow night, Wednesday night and Thursday night.

40:24 Caller Who do you have? Any good guests?

40:25 Adam No, not really. Let's see. I have.

40:29 Caller I want to do it when you're hosting.

40:30 Adam We have. Well, you might be because I swear to you, I have, let's see, Pfeiffer. Who do I have? What the hell is his name? Black actor. Mackay Pfeiffer. Yeah. It's going to go great tomorrow night when I say, what the hell is that black guy's name?

40:51 Caller What's his black actor's name?

40:52 Adam Mackay Pfeiffer tomorrow night and then Mark Knopfler from, I guess Dire Straits is going to be on the next night. Then I don't even know. Mark Knopfler or Knopfler may be like the musical guest. I don't know. It doesn't seem like they got any big bookings. You should probably.

41:10 Caller I'm available.

41:11 Adam I'm probably going to go over there, put your name in there.

41:13 Caller My publicist is in the other room if you want to ask her.

41:17 Adam All right. I'll talk to her. I'll bring it up tomorrow when I go over there. We'll talk. All right. Let's move ahead and speak to Brittany who's 16. Brittany.

41:28 Bonnie Somerville Hey.

41:29 Adam What's up?

41:31 Bonnie Somerville Well, for the past about six months, I've been pretty confused about my sexual orientation, I guess, just because I tend to be into a lot older guys. At first, I thought that was it, but now I'm into one of my girlfriends, which is freaking me out and throwing me off a little bit. I'll be hanging out with her and having sexual feelings towards her, and I thought that I was just into older guys, but now I'm totally confused by it and I don't really know why.

42:06 Drew How old are you?

42:07 Adam She's 16.

42:09 Drew Look, at 16, your feelings of intimacy and sexuality can be very confused. And you may just feel very close and connected to your girlfriend, and that may bleed into sexual kinds of feelings. It doesn't mean you have to act on them, you know what I'm saying? You can just sit back and just keep the boundaries clear. I imagine you were abandoned or something growing up. What happened?

42:30 Bonnie Somerville Well, when I was growing up, my mom, I think, might have done a little bit of weird stuff to me, because not sexually, but she was just really, she teed on my dad a lot and took me with her all the time. She was very slutty and I had to go to all the boyfriend's houses every day. Well, I had to come home to my dad. And then the abandonment thing, she moved away a year ago. So she kind of, I think that kind of, from what my parents, what I saw, confused me a lot.

43:03 Adam Yeah, your mom sounded like a severe drug addict or alcoholic. Drew knows.

43:12 Caller Wow, both of you.

43:14 Adam Thank you very much.

43:14 Caller Good work.

43:15 Adam Thank you. All individuals though, we can never tell.

43:18 Drew You can never tell.

43:19 Adam Everyone's different.

43:20 Caller Everyone's different.

43:21 Drew Everyone's different.

43:21 Caller Everyone's different. They're all unique.

43:23 Adam For all God's unique creatures. They broke the mold after each and every one of us was great. Each and every one.

43:29 Wow.

43:29 Drew Nothing in common.

43:30 Adam Nothing in common. Couldn't tell. All right. So, Brittany, this is a mess and, of course, you're just like the last caller we had. Your sexual compass is spinning around like it's in the Devil's Triangle. You need to-

43:45 Drew Nice reference. Thank you.

43:46 Adam Yeah. Drew misses the Devil's Triangle. By the way, growing up in the 70s, I thought there was a 50 to 70% chance I would be taken by the Devil's Triangle.

43:58 Caller You did? Yeah.

43:58 Adam I grew up-

43:59 Drew Nuclear holocaust was not an issue. It was the Devil.

44:01 Adam I was watching. When I grew up, everything had to do with the Devil's Triangle and the Devil, and I just figured one of these days, I'm going to be flying into Bermuda or on a barge, and that's it.

44:15 Caller Yeah.

44:16 Adam Swallowed up by the Devil's Triangle, which mysteriously seems to have gone away now, by the way.

44:20 Caller Nobody talks about it.

44:21 Adam Gone. You know what?

44:23 Caller They killed it. They used it to death.

44:25 Adam Yeah, they worked it.

44:26 Caller They worked it too much.

44:27 Adam And not only that, I know it was like some land that had been farmed too aggressively, and now the soil is barren. Yes, Drew?

44:36 Drew Yes, Adam.

44:37 Adam Barren. That's right. Just repeat the last word of my sentence, and we'll be fine.

44:42 Drew Fine.

44:43 Adam There you go.

44:44 Caller You guys are like a real relationship.

44:46 Adam We're tight. All right. Brittany's a mess. Brittany needs therapy. Brittany's mom's a mess.

44:53 Drew At least Brittany needs to cool out.

44:54 Adam Not to act out. Right.

44:55 Drew Brittany needs to not act out.

44:57 Adam But as Drew was saying, a woman can have intimate feelings, like she can feel close to somebody and can begin to feel sexual toward that person, even if it's the same sex.

45:09 Drew Yeah.

45:09 Adam Yeah. Bonnie, anything?

45:12 Caller Well, that's usually...

45:13 Drew Not the same sex, Adam.

45:14 Adam Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. We're almost the same sex.

45:17 Caller Are we?

45:17 Adam We're close. We're close.

45:19 Caller Yeah.

45:20 Adam Well, I... We could meet in the middle.

45:22 Caller We could meet in the middle.

45:23 Caller Yeah.

45:24 Adam Drew?

45:25 Drew She was begging to be on Killborne. I mean, late, late with you. Begging?

45:29 Adam I think they're still calling it Killborne.

45:32 Caller I'm just offering up my services.

45:34 Adam No, I listen.

45:35 Caller Don't want to leave them hanging.

45:37 Adam I'm going to go in there tomorrow morning and I will bring you up because...

45:40 Caller I think you should say, why isn't Bonnie Somerville on the show? That's the question. Why isn't she?

45:46 Adam I don't know that they have guests. I really don't. I mean, they have a guest for tomorrow night and then after that...

45:52 Caller No, they have guests.

45:55 Adam No, they're supposed to have guests, but I'm not...

45:58 Caller Maybe not for you.

45:59 Adam Not for me. That's what I'm saying. All right. Drew over there in Syracuse, Bonnie Somerville here with me in Los Angeles. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

46:35 Caller This hour brought to you in part by AXE.

46:37 Bonnie Somerville Experience the AXE Effect.

46:51 Adam It's like, something like this, you know.

46:56 Bonnie Somerville I'm gonna show up tomorrow.

47:12 Adam Hey everybody, Love Line. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. And Syracuse. And as I recall, so that's upstate New York, right, Drew?

47:23 Drew Kind of smack dab in the middle of New York, yeah.

47:25 Caller Yeah.

47:26 Adam In the middle of the state, but then where's Manhattan? That's closer. New York City's closer, right?

47:32 Drew Closer to what?

47:34 Adam LA.

47:36 Drew No.

47:37 Adam No? You get to Syracuse? I thought, well, what is it? You can't fly directly into Syracuse?

47:43 Drew No, you can't. It's closer to the Great Lakes, though.

47:45 Adam Oh, it is? All right, so it's actually physically closer to LA. Syracuse is, than...

47:50 Drew It's a little bit further north, but also quite a bit further west.

47:55 Adam I'm gonna have to look that up. Get the map on there, engineer Chris.

48:00 Drew Chop chop.

48:02 Adam Bonnie Somerville is here tonight. She knows Syracuse. She grew up in New York somewhere, right? Brooklyn, yeah.

48:09 Caller Brooklyn, very far away from Syracuse, but...

48:11 Adam You know the area.

48:12 Caller I did drive around there looking at schools once.

48:15 Adam Oh, you did? And you went to Boston University?

48:17 Caller College.

48:18 Adam Boston College.

48:19 Caller College.

48:20 Adam Oh, is that one worse than the university?

48:22 Caller No, that one's better.

48:23 Drew No, it's better.

48:24 Caller Much better, thank you.

48:25 Adam Yeah.

48:25 Caller Thank you, Drew.

48:26 Adam Well, one just has the word university and it sounds la-de-da, you know what I'm saying?

48:30 Caller Well, universities, yeah. College.

48:32 Drew College means the teachers are committed to teaching undergraduate students, so it's better.

48:37 Adam College is better than university.

48:38 Caller It's a very hard school to get into, I'd like to add.

48:41 Adam Really?

48:42 Drew For the most part.

48:42 Caller For the most part.

48:43 Adam Oh, Drew.

48:44 Drew No, no, for the most part. No, no, no, I was still back at the college statement. For the most part, colleges are a little better.

48:52 Adam I see, so Boston College, not an easy school to get into.

48:56 Caller It's actually, now, I mean, I've obviously been gone a long time, but now it's one of the best schools in the country. I mean, it's really difficult to get in.

49:05 Adam Are those the golden eagles?

49:07 Caller Yes, the eagles, go eagles.

49:09 Adam Yeah, they're golden, though, right?

49:11 Caller Like I ever went to one athletic event, but go eagles.

49:15 Adam Yeah, what'd you do? You just walked around, you were just busy being hot, right?

49:19 Caller Well, it does take a lot of time.

49:21 Adam Especially, it does, it does.

49:23 Caller It takes a lot of effort.

49:25 Adam Now you gotta put the Vaseline on your teeth.

49:26 Caller It's like, you know, the thing with the face and the thing and the hair.

49:29 Adam Yeah, no, it's work.

49:30 Caller Yeah, it's work.

49:31 Adam Oh, okay, so you were, you're like, what, you were like a thespian over there?

49:35 Caller I was a theater major.

49:37 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah.

49:39 Caller I wasn't really running around with the jocks that much.

49:43 Adam Anybody other than you find any success out of your class, out of your group?

49:48 Caller You know, Chris O'Donnell went to Boston College. He graduated two years before me.

49:53 Adam Mm-hmm. Remember him? Yeah, sure. Batman or Robin or Boy Wonder, whatever it was. Yeah, Robin and Boy Wonder, same guy. By the way, does he need two names? I mean, it could just be Robin, right? Like, I think it was Robin and Boy Wonder, right?

50:09 Caller Yes.

50:11 Drew Robin and the Boy Wonder.

50:12 Adam How about just Robin?

50:13 Caller But what is Batman?

50:15 Adam Yeah, Batman's just Batman.

50:16 Caller The Man Wonder?

50:17 Adam Yeah, it's not like Batman and the Great Guy. It's just Batman. Think about it, Drew. It's heavy, it's heavy. All right, let's talk to Ashley, who's been on hold for a whopping 80 minutes.

50:32 Caller Yes.

50:33 Adam You're 14?

50:34 Caller Yeah.

50:35 Adam What's up, baby doll?

50:37 Caller I was just wondering if it's normal when you're doing high amounts of meth to like have hallucinations.

50:44 Drew Just amphetamine you're doing?

50:46 Caller Yeah.

50:47 Drew Well, by the time you're getting hallucinations, that usually comes very, very late in the game. Oh, really? First you get paranoid and you start thinking people are talking about you and your family's plotting things against you and eventually you will see things. But my favorite amphetamine hallucination story is actually Todd Bridges. Remember him?

51:04 Adam Yeah. Facts Alive. Now, wait a minute. Well, he may have appeared on that show, but what the hell is he on?

51:13 Drew One of those.

51:14 Adam Different strokes.

51:14 Caller Different strokes.

51:16 Adam I set it before you. I set it before you. I just screwed it up.

51:21 Drew He became acutely paranoid and then he began believing his grandmother was trying to kill him. Then he believed that the grandmother had raised his house up six inches and built a factory to produce little green men that he kept seeing running across the floor in his bedroom.

51:35 Adam That was a great episode.

51:36 Drew And then he started shooting at them.

51:39 Adam Better episode.

51:40 Caller That was when they jumped the shark.

51:41 Adam Wow.

51:42 Drew And that was when he got arrested because he was running down the street shooting at the green men.

51:45 Adam Yeah, what happened?

51:47 Drew Yeah, you can have hallucinations late in the game with speed. It's bad, bad times. And it usually is a sign of brain damage too because speed does cause free radicals that destroy brain cells.

51:57 Adam Ashley.

51:58 Caller Okay, yeah.

51:59 Adam You're only 14.

52:01 Caller Yeah.

52:02 Adam How long have you been doing the speed?

52:05 Caller Speed only about a year, but I started doing like inhalants when I was like 10. And then I got into like other drugs.

52:13 Adam Well, here's the whole thing. You got to stop kicking the ass out of your brain. You need it for later, you know what I mean? Driving, simple math, things like that. Can you get yourself some help?

52:26 Caller I've been to rehab twice.

52:28 Adam All right. Well, that's out of question.

52:30 Drew You need to spend, believe it or not, 12 to 24 months somewhere. You are not going to live through this condition. And certainly not going to live into adulthood in any kind of condition unless you do something about this.

52:41 Adam Where do you get the money for the meth, by the way? I couldn't buy a goddamn soft taco when I was 14. I didn't have the money. Where do you get it?

52:50 Caller But isn't meth a cheap drug?

52:53 Adam Yeah, but still she's 14. What are you doing, Ashley?

52:57 Caller Guys just give it to me for free.

52:59 Adam Oh yeah, I forgot about that part. Yeah, why?

53:02 Caller Nothing's for free.

53:04 Caller That's right. I don't know, they just do. And my dad bought a bottle of diet pills and I went through it in like a week.

53:11 Adam All right. Is your parents trying, are they aware of the problem? I know you've been through rehab, but do they know how bad it is?

53:19 Caller No, they think I've been off of it for like six months now.

53:24 Drew Whoever was treating you at the treatment center, get back with them, please, please, please, okay? This is a bad situation, this is bad.

53:32 Adam Yeah, actually, I mean, here's the problem too. I know you're not so worried about next month or next year, but where do you go ultimately? You're 14, you know what I mean? Where are you gonna be at 16? I'll tell you where you're gonna be. Drew, tell her where she's gonna be at 16.

53:49 Drew Where's she gonna be, Adam, tell her.

53:50 Adam She's gonna be dead or in jail or both.

53:55 Drew Dead in jail.

53:55 Adam That's right.

53:57 Caller Which is worse.

53:58 Adam That's right. That's what those mausoleums are. They're actual cells. You guys didn't know that, did you? They keep you in there. Oh, you can't get out.

54:07 Caller No bologna sandwiches in there.

54:09 Adam That's right. So Ashley, get yourself some help, please. You know what you're doing. You called for a reason, right?

54:15 Caller Yeah, I guess.

54:16 Adam All right, let's take care of you, would you?

54:18 Caller Don't do that. Don't do that, Ashley.

54:20 Adam It's just, it's just, there's no... See, I understand, like, in a way, I understand, like, people who gamble because it's like, yeah, I know you're telling me I'm gonna lose and I know I always end up losing, but you know what? I could hit some, I could pick 10 of the right football teams this week, hit an exact, you know, I could, something good could come of this. The thing about, like, math, your chances of having anything work out are really just zero.

54:52 Caller Yeah, your luck is not gonna change on a math bench.

54:55 Adam Yes, you just start picking your skin, you get thrown out of school, you get paranoid, it just turns into a mess. So there's, I understand, like I said, you know, one in 10 chance you may hit, fine. I understand that sort of blind pursuing of those dreams, but this is zero upon zero upon zero. All right, let's see. I'm just gonna talk to whoever's been on the hold the longest.

55:20 Caller Wow, 80 minutes. Who's been on hold the 80 minutes?

55:24 Adam That was Ashley, and then we got 69 minutes over here with Tamar. Tamar?

55:32 Yeah.

55:33 Adam You're 25? What's up?

55:37 Caller Well, I'm 25. I've been married to my wife for over a year now. We got together back in 99. And in 2000, she got into a car accident, and she contracted RSD as a result.

55:54 Adam Drew, what is that?

55:55 Drew The Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome, which is pain in the limb, usually, towards the periphery of the limb.

56:02 Caller Hold on, Drew, Drew, hold on.

56:04 Adam Are you a real doctor or just a love doctor?

56:09 Drew How dare you?

56:10 Adam All right, so she's got the RFD. Oh, that one, the other one was where Mayberry took place, right?

56:17 Drew The other one was BFD.

56:21 Adam Everyone I know seems to have BFD disorder, especially when I start talking. All right, so she has it. So is that bad, Drew?

56:29 Drew Well, it's a chronic pain syndrome. Is she on pain meds?

56:33 Caller Yes and no. Like recently, I just got insurance, so she hasn't been able to get them before and she's been off of them for so long that she's just used to being off of them.

56:43 Drew Good, that's good.

56:45 Caller Well, I guess because she's been just constantly complaining about how this hurts, this hurts, this hurts and she won't do anything about it. She's one of those type of people that's really strong-willed.

56:57 Drew That's also good, but what's the question? I mean, there's a huge, very complex topic here, RSD. So what are we going to get at?

57:03 Caller Well, okay, like I said, she got GARS-D in 2000. It's now 2004. She and I, I can literally count on two hands with fingers left over the number of times she and I have attempted to have sex, you know, throughout that timeframe. And it's gotten to the point where I feel that, you know, I just don't want to be attracted to her anymore because she's a very attractive woman. It's just, I don't want to be because I'm driving myself crazy.

57:30 Drew It's too painful.

57:31 Caller I'm gonna get rejected too much.

57:33 Caller Yeah, exactly.

57:34 Caller That and then, you know, it's like I'm starting to feel guilty because, you know, like the last couple of times, you know, she just kind of like, you know, like laid on the bed like this, like cadaver, you know? And it's like, necrophilia is not my thing.

57:47 Adam Right.

57:48 Caller It's also illegal now, so.

57:49 Adam Yeah, Schwarzenegger. Well, he's calling from Delaware.

57:52 Caller Yeah, well, yeah, you can do it.

57:54 Adam Get your kicks before the S House burns down. But here, I've had to seriously curtail my lifestyle. Yeah, me too.

58:01 Caller Me too.

58:02 Adam Oh, yeah.

58:02 Caller I mean, I have to rethink everything.

58:04 Adam They made necrophilia illegal. First thing I had to do is clean out my trunk. That's number one.

58:09 Caller And hose it down.

58:10 Adam Number two. So, Tamar, I feel bad. And I know you want Drew to answer, but first off, it seems like she could probably use a little therapy on top of everything.

58:22 Drew Well, she is a complicated case. I promise you, there's a lot more going on here. Yeah. And there's a child abuse. Right. And magically, as with all chronic pain syndromes, there's a very high incidence of sexual abuse and physical abuse in childhood.

58:37 Adam Really?

58:38 Drew Oh, yeah. And I feel very strongly that the character logic use of pain, the addictive process in pain, and the whole wiring mechanism during development in the face of trauma affects the way the body tells its tale of woe. When she's upset, when she's miserable, it becomes expressed as pain.

58:56 Adam Any time you put the word syndrome at the end of something, it always means the person didn't start off with the hardiest hand dealt to them, you know? You show me a person that has something, something, something syndrome, I'll show you a person who was in foster care, was sexually abused, was verbally or physically abused, did something to open up cracks to let this syndrome, as I do my quotations, in. And-

59:30 Caller He's doing bunny ears, folks.

59:31 Adam I'm doing the bunny ear syndrome. And I don't know much about her syndrome, but-

59:36 Drew Yeah, here's the thing about it, is that because it is in the periphery of a limb, there are lots of mechanical interventions, there are stimulators and nerve blocks, Adam, like the kind you had, basically, sympathetic nerve blocks.

59:49 Adam Oh yeah, looking forward to that. All right.

59:51 Drew Well, you had that one.

59:52 Adam All right.

59:52 Drew So there are things to be done. In addition, these require multiple disciplines intervening on her behalf, and it's a long-term proposition.

1:00:00 Adam Okay, so here's the thing. If you guys are gonna be married and you're gonna continue to be married, even though she's suffering from this syndrome, she's gonna have to make some effort, unfortunately. And if she's not and she doesn't, I think you're perfectly reasonable to move on.

1:00:18 Caller It's just sad that you have to live like that without having any intimacy at all. You're 25.

1:00:25 Adam Also, she needs to focus on the abuse of the past and stop relying on the syndrome du jour of today. Yes?

1:00:34 Drew That's right.

1:00:35 Adam Yes, yes, yes. Bonnie, yes?

1:00:37 Caller Yes, yes, yes.

1:00:39 Adam Stacey? Yes. There you go. 24. He's a 90-year-old Jew. Yes?

1:00:57 Caller He's a Briss.

1:00:58 Drew He's Hindu.

1:00:59 Adam He's Hindu.

1:01:02 Bonnie Somerville And I had a couple of questions. Well, I want to know things like healing time because every time I ask him, he tells me six weeks, whatever.

1:01:13 Drew We have a question first. Why did he get that done?

1:01:15 Bonnie Somerville I caused an injury about a year and a half ago, and since then he's been having infections, getting antibiotics, the infection comes back.

1:01:26 Drew What, pray tell, did you do?

1:01:27 Adam Garden shears. She won after. Now, sexual injury.

1:01:33 Bonnie Somerville Yeah. I was a little too rough and torrent. He's the one telling me harder.

1:01:40 Adam Yeah, a woman of exquisite passion, Drew.

1:01:43 Drew Extreme passion, extreme. Well, that is one of the complications of having a foreskin, is that they can tear, and once they tear, they sort of stenose down, they narrow, and then every time the head of the penis comes out, it narrows, it tears, and then narrows more. And yeah, that's a good reason to get it. And you want to know how long he's going to be out of commission?

1:02:00 Bonnie Somerville Well, yeah, there's that. I'd like to know if there are any psychological things I'm going to have to deal with with him.

1:02:05 Drew No, no, no, no.

1:02:07 Adam Stacy, you're scaring us. You're really scaring us.

1:02:09 Bonnie Somerville You don't have to worry about him suddenly going limp when he looks down and sees this guy with a turtleneck now.

1:02:15 Drew No.

1:02:16 Caller But it's so much cuter.

1:02:17 Bonnie Somerville I agree.

1:02:18 Caller I mean, it's...

1:02:19 Adam Yeah, well, hold on a second.

1:02:20 Drew Wait, now, really, is there anything that can make a penis cute?

1:02:24 Caller A little turtleneck. Yeah. Maybe a hat.

1:02:26 Adam A bow tie.

1:02:27 Caller Maybe a coat.

1:02:28 Adam I do that thing with the Sharpies.

1:02:29 Caller Some socks.

1:02:30 Adam And the stick-on eyeballs that have... Well, actually, the eyeballs themselves swing around. It's crazy. It's all right.

1:02:37 Caller Maybe a mustache.

1:02:38 Adam The balls, there's nothing you can do about it. There's nothing.

1:02:42 Caller Well, you could put some teeny-tiny shoes on them, Barbie shoes.

1:02:47 Adam They're not enough elbow macaroni glue and gold spray paint in the world to make a set of nuts look good.

1:02:54 Caller Not at all.

1:02:54 Adam They're a disaster. That is a disaster. And I would ask that you not look at my balls. Why are you asking her when?

1:03:06 Caller You're asking me not to.

1:03:07 Adam No, I'm not saying that to Bonnie.

1:03:09 Caller If you take them out, I will not look at them.

1:03:11 Adam Thank you. They're out.

1:03:12 Caller I'm not looking.

1:03:14 Adam They've been out for 45 minutes.

1:03:17 Drew Give me a fill the room. Is that what that was?

1:03:19 Adam That's what it is. That's right.

1:03:21 Drew No, Adam.

1:03:22 Adam Yes, Drew.

1:03:23 Drew Come on.

1:03:24 Adam They're not out, Drew. Please.

1:03:26 Caller They're not out.

1:03:27 Drew Gravity has affected your scrotum.

1:03:29 Adam Yes, and not in a good way. I got to be honest. But they never were attractive. And that's what I'm saying.

1:03:37 Caller Well, they're just not.

1:03:38 Adam All right. Come on, Drew. Grow up, buddy. How old are you? What's going on? Are you a doctor or are you a pornographer? Relax. Silence yourself. How dare you speak of my scrotum this way?

1:03:49 Caller The love doctor.

1:03:51 Adam Stacey is frightening me because first, she broke.

1:03:55 Caller She ripped the foreskin.

1:03:56 Adam She broke the guy's penis. And then secondly, she wants to know when it's going to get off the injured reserve.

1:04:01 Caller Because she wants it.

1:04:02 Adam Get back in her. And then is it going to be 100%? And is it going to perform up to her satisfaction?

1:04:08 Caller She wants it now, damn it.

1:04:10 Adam Yeah, what is up? I mean, first off, the guy's just had a procedure. And it's easy enough to laugh about because, ah, he's 25. He had a circumcision. It's probably a pretty bad day for him. You know what I'm saying? This is at least a bad trip to the dentist. At least. How about a little sympathy? Stacey?

1:04:37 Drew Bad times.

1:04:38 Adam Wow.

1:04:40 Caller She's violent.

1:04:41 Adam No, the part I like too is like, look, you guys don't seem like you like each other. Why don't you? Oh, no, we love each other deeply. That's the part I like.

1:04:48 Caller We're engaged.

1:04:50 Adam Stacey.

1:04:50 Drew Yeah, we can't break up. We're engaged.

1:04:51 Adam Stacey, where's your dad?

1:04:58 Bonnie Somerville He is probably sleeping next to my mom. Where he's been for the last 25 years.

1:05:04 Adam Yeah. God, do I hate you, Stacey. What are you so angry about? What made you so bitchy?

1:05:09 Caller I'm not even one laugh.

1:05:10 Adam What happened to you?

1:05:11 Caller I think it's her bad phone line that pisses her off.

1:05:13 Bonnie Somerville In all honesty, this has just been a really long-standing issue with us because we're constantly arguing about it. I tell him to go to the doctor. He doesn't listen to me. He finally listens to me.

1:05:22 Adam All right. But I'm more interested in why you're so angry and why your phone lines are bad. Yeah.

1:05:29 Bonnie Somerville All right.

1:05:31 Adam All right. Oh, wow.

1:05:33 Caller Wow. You were holding for...

1:05:34 Adam How long? She was on a land hold for 37 minutes.

1:05:38 Caller Oh, only 37 minutes at a payphone.

1:05:41 Adam I didn't know people... I thought payphones were only for drugs.

1:05:45 Caller Do they still make those?

1:05:46 Adam No. They're marked clearly, only for drug transactions. Yeah. I don't even know...

1:05:52 Caller Only for drugs transactions or when you get arrested.

1:05:55 Adam Yeah. Who uses a... Once in a while, you have to beat a guy with the receiver, but other than that, I don't even know what they're good for anymore.

1:06:02 Caller They still make those.

1:06:03 Adam All right. Stacey, you're angry, and I know you have history with this guy, and I don't know what's going on with Stacey other than she's angry. I feel it. And Drew, you feel it, and something is going on, and boy, do I feel sorry for this guy and his penis.

1:06:20 Caller And his balls.

1:06:22 Adam And his balls, too.

1:06:23 Caller I feel sorry for his balls, to be honest.

1:06:25 Adam It's true. Penis and balls.

1:06:27 Drew Put that on a loop, please, Anderson.

1:06:29 Adam All right. Let's talk to Tony, who's 26. Tony? Hello? Oh, Tony. I'm calling from Riverside. What's up, Tony?

1:06:42 Drew I like the nice color in the trees out there.

1:06:44 Adam Oh, Riverside, Syracuse, all the same this time of year. What's up, Tony?

1:06:49 Caller Yeah, I just wanted to call, and I just wanted to ask, well, me and my wife, we had a problem and she cheated on me, and now that we're back together and everything's all cool, I want to make, you know, have good sex, and I'm coming too quick. So I wanted to see if there's anything that could fix the problem.

1:07:15 Adam Hey, did you, now did you forgive her for cheating?

1:07:19 Caller Yes, I did.

1:07:20 Adam And why did she cheat?

1:07:21 Caller I don't know why she cheated. She said that I wasn't romantic enough with her and that I wasn't paying attention to her needs.

1:07:34 Drew Isn't that the story?

1:07:39 Adam Although, still not going to make me pay attention to my wife's needs, by the way.

1:07:43 Caller Actually, that's going to make you pay less attention.

1:07:45 Adam Yeah. Now I'm going to compensate in the other direction. Hey, Tony, do you guys have kids?

1:07:52 Caller Yes, we have a daughter.

1:07:53 Adam You have a daughter. All right. And your wife, is she okay? I worry a little about her.

1:08:01 Caller What do you mean by okay?

1:08:02 Adam Well, I don't know. Her background. Was she abused?

1:08:06 Caller No.

1:08:08 Adam She just thought it was a good idea to cheat on her sort of newlywed husband. Although, I don't know when you guys got married. How long have you been married? One year. Yeah. That's pretty early cheating. Yeah.

1:08:22 Drew Yeah.

1:08:22 Caller But cheating is the symptom, right, Drew? Is that true? Well, cheating is the symptom of a problem?

1:08:28 Drew Well, but cheating, women cheat when men, exactly what she told them, when men are not getting the emotional needs met, when they're not available for the relationship, that's when women cheat. Men cheat because they can.

1:08:39 Adam Yeah. Quite literally. Or because we think we can. Yeah.

1:08:43 Caller But some women cheat, though, just because they can, or they're not into it.

1:08:47 Caller Well, those tend to be abuse survivors.

1:08:49 Drew Yeah, those tend to be either bipolar or abuse survivors. They don't get that much out of cheating. It's not that satisfying to them, so they're not as inclined to.

1:08:56 Adam Something happened when they were in Canada filming Without a Paddle, by the way.

1:09:00 Drew Uh-oh.

1:09:00 Caller New Zealand.

1:09:01 Adam Oh, New Zealand. Yeah.

1:09:02 Drew Uh-oh.

1:09:03 Adam Seth Green is actually in her now.

1:09:06 Drew Oh.

1:09:06 Adam Yeah.

1:09:07 Caller He actually is standing here.

1:09:09 Adam I don't want to say anything, but when she was walking out, the pneumatic door closed and hit her in the ass and Seth fell out.

1:09:16 Caller He fell out on the floor.

1:09:18 Adam And he scurried away. It was like a rug.

1:09:20 Caller It's actually under here.

1:09:22 Adam It went under the fridge in the jock lounge, Drew. I'm going to try to coax him out with some skittles during the break. I didn't want to say anything.

1:09:30 Caller All right?

1:09:31 Caller Cue the feet running.

1:09:32 Adam All right. Yeah, cue the feet running.

1:09:35 Caller That was me.

1:09:36 Caller All right.

1:09:36 Adam Here's the thing about Anderson. Anderson.

1:09:38 Caller In the studio. That was me. Did you like that?

1:09:42 Adam I was good. Do it again. There's two people that cue Anderson. Anderson and Anderson.

1:09:47 Caller I think I have a job here.

1:09:48 Caller I'm not a seal.

1:09:49 Adam He's not a seal.

1:09:50 Caller Oh.

1:09:51 Adam No.

1:09:51 Drew He can't be pushed around, Adam. Come on, man.

1:09:53 Adam No, no. He only puts 175 drops in a show. You can't tell him to do 176. There you go. That's it. That's the sound.

1:10:02 Caller Thanks for having my back. Thanks for helping me with that joke.

1:10:09 Adam So Tony from Riverside, here's the thing. Something's up with your wife cheating this early into the relationship because yes, you weren't attentive. Yes, you didn't cater to her needs. But six months into a marriage, come on, with a kid, cheating very, very bad.

1:10:27 Drew Bad signs.

1:10:28 Adam Yeah, and so as far as your premature ejaculation, I'll tell you what, I don't know how to add time onto it, but I can tell you this.

1:10:39 Drew Well, he can masturbate before.

1:10:41 Adam He can masturbate before, but if you want to give your wife more pleasure, give her some oral sex.

1:10:46 Caller But isn't that also nerves too? Because now he probably feels so much pressure because she went out with someone else that now every time he's about to do it, he's like so nervous.

1:10:54 Drew No, he's angry at what he is.

1:10:57 Adam Don't have any more kids for a little while. Make sure the dust from this cheating settles. And then again, give her some oral sex because the meter in the sex cab gets flipped to the right when you begin the oral. I'm on the clock. You know what I mean?

1:11:13 Caller You stop, right?

1:11:14 Adam I'm on the clock.

1:11:15 Caller Do you stop in between and do that?

1:11:16 Adam No, I'm saying when I begin oral, that's when the sex begins. That's when the clock starts ticking. For her or for you? For God.

1:11:27 Caller For God.

1:11:28 Adam What I'm saying is that's how it goes down in the books. What I mean is I give you a solid 15 minutes of oral and then five minutes of intercourse. That's a 20 minute session. You see what I'm saying?

1:11:41 Caller I see.

1:11:42 Adam That's how I count it. And you have to count it that way too.

1:11:47 Caller Because you said so.

1:11:48 Adam That's what I said. I think most women, and maybe not Bonnie because she may be a passionate woman like you're a passionate man, Drew, most women would appreciate-

1:12:00 Caller I'm passionate but not violent like the last girl.

1:12:02 Adam A little more oral and a little less humping.

1:12:06 Drew Uh-oh.

1:12:07 Adam Oh, passionate.

1:12:08 Drew Well, unless, Adam, unless they're multi-orgasmic, in which case, there you go.

1:12:12 Adam There you go.

1:12:13 Drew That wasn't so good.

1:12:15 Adam Drew, you are lucky. You're good. We got to take a break. But we're coming back. Oh, yeah. I'm going to go, I'm going to go dip myself. I'm going to go dunk myself in the latrine and try to cool my passion. Drew, we're going to come back with Bonnie Somerville. And I think you may have met your passion match. We'll be...

1:12:35 Caller I think so.

1:12:37 Adam We'll be right back after this.

1:12:57 Caller Three, two, one, go!

1:13:02 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:13:03 Drew I'm Adam.

1:13:04 Adam That's Dr. Drew in Syracuse. Chris, you look at the map, find out if Syracuse was further than New York City or closer.

1:13:12 Drew What county is it in?

1:13:14 Caller Oh, I have a map of here.

1:13:16 Adam All right, it's in New York State.

1:13:18 Drew It's right in the middle of New York State.

1:13:20 Adam You'll find it. All right.

1:13:21 Drew He's living in California?

1:13:22 Caller It's in Orange County.

1:13:25 Adam I think he may be. Yeah, buddy. You got it. Now you're in Arizona. Riverside County? Got to keep rolling, buddy. Junior College. Bonnie Somerville is here tonight. Bonnie is becoming a dear, dear, dear friend of the show. Graduate of Boston College, by the way.

1:13:42 Drew By the way, I'm looking up the college ranking. She's right. It's way up there.

1:13:48 Caller I'm not kidding.

1:13:49 Adam No, back when Bonnie went, they'd let anyone in. Yeah, she's sharp.

1:13:53 Caller I'm sharp.

1:13:54 Adam Sharp, beautiful, tall, and passionate, Drew. Passion.

1:13:58 Drew I'm getting that. It's interesting. Women that have multiple orgasms don't understand why other women have difficulty having orgasms. Seriously, why they would choose to have oral sex. It's not like me with oral sex.

1:14:16 Caller I never think of it like that. It's not that I diss little oral sex. I'm not dissing it.

1:14:22 Drew Most women can only orgasm with oral sex and that's it.

1:14:26 Caller I have said things like that in front of girlfriends and they've said exactly what you're saying. Well Bonnie, that's because you can have the O lying down and doing sex.

1:14:40 Adam Oh man, what a boost to my ego you would be.

1:14:42 Caller In Adam's series, he's been doing some research.

1:14:47 Adam I've been humping kayaks my whole life. Really, nothing. Nothing. If I was to be on top of a camper shell, I would feel better about myself. Nothing, I get a little fiberglass burn. That's it. Nothing. Do you know what it feels like for a man to be that sort of conquest, to give a woman an orgasm while you're having intercourse with her? Especially when it's not one of those weirdo positions and she doesn't have five vibrators out. It really makes you feel good. Really? I could only imagine.

1:15:22 Drew What do you mean to say is it must make you feel good?

1:15:24 Adam It must make one feel good. It really must.

1:15:27 Caller Well, it's really a public service that I'm doing. It's a duty.

1:15:31 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I can only imagine what happens when I blow up. That was just the phone line like God had struck the phone line with lightning. Drew.

1:15:44 Drew Didn't hear it.

1:15:45 Adam Wow. Was it disturbing? I'm now going to take my headphones and our cans as we call them in the business.

1:15:51 Caller That was Jesus. He's angry at me.

1:15:52 Adam Lift it up. All right. So Bonnie Somerville, NYPD Blue, ABC, 10 o'clock, Tuesday nights, multi-orgasmic.

1:16:02 Caller Don't forget that Adam is hosting the Late Late Show.

1:16:05 Adam That's right.

1:16:05 Caller For the next three nights.

1:16:06 Adam Right. Bonnie may be on for the three nights.

1:16:09 Caller Crank Yanker started tonight.

1:16:11 Adam Yeah. Crank Yanker's everybody.

1:16:13 Caller Yeah.

1:16:13 Adam Go out and get that DVD.

1:16:15 Caller I'm getting it.

1:16:16 Adam All right. I got something here that says take. So I'm going to take this one. Julie?

1:16:22 Caller Yeah.

1:16:24 Adam 26. Yeah.

1:16:26 Drew How are you doing?

1:16:27 Adam Good. You sound nutty. All right.

1:16:31 Drew But chipper.

1:16:31 Adam Chipper nutty. We like that.

1:16:33 That's all right. You can call it what you will. But basically, I was just calling to respond to a woman that called last night. You had a 26-year-old lawyer. She was meeting her boss.

1:16:45 Drew Yes. Also a lawyer.

1:16:49 Adam Her boss who's 40 and married. Yes.

1:16:52 Exactly. Well, I'm calling just because I actually myself am a professional woman by day. I work as a psychotherapist and at night, I have another profession. I work as a call girl.

1:17:03 Caller I thought you were going to say superhero.

1:17:06 Something like that. Super call girl.

1:17:08 Drew What is your training? Wait a minute.

1:17:13 I see the light going off on Drew's little brain there.

1:17:17 Drew What is your training for psychotherapy?

1:17:20 I have a master's in clinical psych.

1:17:23 Drew What kind of clinical training have you done?

1:17:26 What kind of clinical training? I actually worked. I did many internships. I went to Marquette University in the Midwest.

1:17:36 Drew In California, you need several thousand hours of clinical after your Ph.D. or your PsyD in order to be able to be a therapist.

1:17:43 Right, but I'm not at a Ph.D. level. I have a master's and basically what I'm doing is I do group therapy with teenagers. I do a lot of work with autistic children. Most of my clinical hours were put in doing work with autistic children for the most part.

1:17:59 Drew One of the requirements.

1:18:00 Adam By the way, the autistic kids is kind of cool because they're never going to go like, look, you're a subpar therapist. I've been working with this piece of clay and stuffing crayon into it for over a year now. I'm going to have to move on. My needs are not being met. And by the way, it starts off, you picture her sitting there in Beverly Hills looking at high powered clients all day and then being a call girl at night. It's a little more her volunteering at the Y during the day.

1:18:30 Drew Well, but be that as it may, you can't be taking care of patients and be committing crimes. Those two things don't go together.

1:18:37 Adam Oh, well, Drew, it's only crime because the man.

1:18:38 Caller Well, the autistic patients are during the day.

1:18:41 Drew You can't do that. You can't be a criminal and maintain a license.

1:18:45 Adam Maybe she has sex with the autistic patients at night.

1:18:48 Caller See, I was going to I let you actually say that.

1:18:50 Adam I know you did.

1:18:51 Caller I set you up.

1:18:52 Drew And if the problem with all of this is there's some very, very serious boundary problems here. And the simplest way to look at it is being a criminal and being a clinical caretaker.

1:19:03 Adam Let's not judge, Drew. Try not to judge. That's the man that made it a crime. Do you understand?

1:19:09 Caller Crime doesn't pay.

1:19:10 Adam Yes. Drew, you drive faster than the posted speed limit most all the time, do you not?

1:19:15 Drew Not anymore.

1:19:16 Adam Oh, okay. But you used to after getting all the tickets. Well, how can you be a doctor and break the law? Aha. Touche. Touche, I say. Touche, turtle. Touche away.

1:19:32 Yeah, I'm still here.

1:19:33 Adam All right.

1:19:33 Caller So she's waiting for you guys to stop.

1:19:35 Adam Yeah.

1:19:36 I don't understand Dr. Drew's reaction and I was sort of, I've been intrigued to call for a long time based on trying to get his perspective on it. I mean, the natural thing that comes to my mind as a therapist and a criminal is, is there some bipolarity or am I going through some sort of hypomanic episode? Is there?

1:19:52 Caller Yeah.

1:19:52 Drew You've got a lot. You shouldn't be taking care of patients. That's so very, very clear. Whatever you want to do with your life, that's up to you. But you have a certain modicum of health that you must be able to sustain and of the good legal standing in order to be in the position of being responsible for people's health and well-being. And that's it. Whatever you want to do beyond that is up to you.

1:20:16 Right, but the legality issues, I mean there are places where it's legal.

1:20:20 Drew No, no, no. Not legal. It's an issue. It's there to protect the patients. That's why the laws are put in place.

1:20:26 Adam Well, she's not having sex with the patients.

1:20:29 Caller Absolutely not.

1:20:31 I do have very clear boundaries. And I don't let the tube aspects of my life come to that.

1:20:37 Adam Hold on a second. First off, didn't you ever see that movie from the 80s Angel where she was an honor roll student by day and a Hollywood hooker at night?

1:20:47 Caller You know, someone was just talking about that at work the other day, the movie poster she had a Catholic school uniform on, remember?

1:20:53 Adam Split in half.

1:20:54 Caller Split in half.

1:20:54 Adam Yeah.

1:20:55 Caller And then she had her suit on.

1:20:56 Adam It was very obvious.

1:20:57 Caller With her blazer open and a bra.

1:20:59 Adam It was very easy for her to live the double life, Drew.

1:21:02 Caller And glasses.

1:21:03 Adam All right, now hold on. Let me do the talking. Hold on, Drew, she's not having sex with her patients.

1:21:09 Drew Adam.

1:21:09 Adam You understand that?

1:21:10 Drew What if she was just robbing banks?

1:21:13 Adam Hmm. Even sexier. Is she doing therapy in robbing banks or is she stripping in robbing banks?

1:21:18 Drew Yeah, but the point is that there are standards that clinicians have to maintain that is there to protect the public.

1:21:24 Adam Oh, look, I agree.

1:21:25 Drew And if you can't maintain those standards, then you shouldn't be doing that.

1:21:29 Adam I know. But here's the reality, Drew. Many, many therapists especially are nut jobs. It attracts.

1:21:36 Drew Not like this.

1:21:36 Adam Maybe not like this, but it attracts nut jobs.

1:21:40 Drew And by the way, let's remember that she's wanting, gee, am I bipolar manic? Listen, if you're an uncontrolled bipolar manic that is engaging in behaviors that are impulsive and dangerous, you shouldn't be taking care of patients. Very simple. Even if you're thinking you might be that patient. You shouldn't be taking care of people. So there you go.

1:21:55 Adam Take your judgment.

1:21:56 Drew Leave your light coma, Adam, light coma even. Take your. Comet.

1:21:59 Caller Comet.

1:21:59 Adam Take your judgment hat off for a second and put on your party hat, okay?

1:22:07 Drew The one with the fedora?

1:22:08 Caller Put on your doctor by day.

1:22:10 Adam No, the pointy one with.

1:22:11 Drew The fedora or the pointy one with the.

1:22:13 Adam The paper pointy one with the elastic strap that goes on your chin. Okay, Julie. How many clients would you say you see a week in the evening in your call girl job?

1:22:24 In the evening, I probably work three days a week and I probably see three clients in that time. Like three per day.

1:22:29 Adam And you have you have sex with them?

1:22:31 Yeah.

1:22:32 Adam And what's how much money you make? You make a couple hundred bucks, Bob?

1:22:37 I'm getting by, but yeah, yeah, I just wanted to say to Drew as well, I because of my inclination towards being a very sexual person, that was the reason I had questioned, you know, is that this is a very typical bipolar behavior. I didn't question whether I was. I'm not bipolar. I don't have any sort of mental deficit. I've just made a choice in my life.

1:22:58 Adam Yeah. Now here's, here's, but here's what's going on, Julie, because Drew's got his party hat on and now he can't talk, but I'm going to speak for him because Drew's the man and people don't want to listen to Drew, but people don't realize is I'm smarter, Drew. So you need to listen to me. Here's the thing. First off, you're calling because there's a part of you that doesn't feel like it's okay. Otherwise you wouldn't be calling trying to get Drew's blessing and rationalize it away. There's your smart person, obviously your intellectual, and you have the capacity to understand that what you're doing is wrong. But then you end up using your IQ to talk yourself out of it with the very sexual person nonsense and all these other smokescreens. So your intellect is what's actually enabling you to go on with this lifestyle because you're talking your way around it and you're just BSing yourself. You know there's a part of you that's sick and that shouldn't be doing this, and I think you understand that and maybe that part is just emerging and maybe you're not going to be ready to listen to it for a few more years.

1:23:59 Caller Okay, well that seems very insightful, but I do want to throw out...

1:24:03 Adam That's enough. I end with me being insightful. And again, she's...

1:24:07 Caller Always go out on a... Insightful. Go out on that.

1:24:10 Drew If you want to know the character disturbance here, she starts up with, I think maybe bipolar because this is such bipolar behavior. And then she describes the behavior and goes, well, that couldn't possibly be me. I just told you. It's not me. Well, it's like, okay. That's all distortions. That's all blaming outside of the self, not taking responsibility. It's all character stuff.

1:24:30 Adam And again, you're a very sexual girl who has a good life and career.

1:24:34 Caller Isn't that kind of like a sociopath who takes themselves out of the situation and completely justifies it?

1:24:39 Drew It's more borderline. It's more borderline behavior. It's a sociopath. Yeah, they do justify and they can't take responsibility for anything.

1:24:46 Adam And she has an answer. She's an educated woman. So every time you throw something at her, she is, you know, she listens and then she's diplomatic. And she says, well, Adam, I've heard what you have to say, but then psychobabble, psychobabble, psychobabble, I'm going to blow a Japanese businessman.

1:25:03 Caller But what about all the dancers that have to, and I say dancers with the bunny ears, that are putting themselves through school by working at night and getting a degree?

1:25:14 Drew The problem is, they've never met one that wasn't sexually abused.

1:25:16 Caller In psychology.

1:25:17 Adam And by the way, their schools cost $4 a unit. They're not, they're not putting themselves through Princeton or Brown.

1:25:25 Caller No, they're going in with $200 bill singles.

1:25:28 Adam Yeah.

1:25:29 Caller Paying for the class.

1:25:30 Adam They say putting themselves through school, what they're really doing is just going to junior college, doing a little blow and not really wanting to work too much. All right. Let's take a little break. Bonnie Somerville here tonight of NYPD Blue fame, Tuesday Nights, ABC 10 o'clock. Also. Without a paddle. The AIM Theaters as we speak. Take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:25:55 Caller This is your radio.

1:26:15 Drew Uh, dude, they left.

1:26:20 Caller Yeah, let's try to talk to Drew.

1:26:21 Caller Placement agency, can I help you?

1:26:22 Caller Uh, hi. I'm looking for a job.

1:26:43 Adam Yeah, get it on, everybody. Bonnie Somerville here tonight. Breath of blonde fresh air, Drew. Passionate, passionate woman as well. And understands quality. I gotta say that about Bonnie. She appreciates me.

1:27:03 Caller And Crank Yankers, which started tonight.

1:27:05 Adam Loves Crank Yankers, loves Loveline, loves it all.

1:27:11 Caller I used to watch you guys on MTV.

1:27:13 Adam Used to watch us guys on MTV.

1:27:15 Caller In Boston College.

1:27:17 Adam Boston College, watching Drew and Adam on MTV. Thinking one day I'm gonna be on that nappy headed guy's radio show, God willing.

1:27:26 Caller On his radio show. That was a good ending to that sentence.

1:27:31 Adam Ooh, sexual, do you hear that, Drew? Passionate.

1:27:35 Drew It's making me feel a little weird.

1:27:37 Adam I gotta say, I'm intimidated by Bonnie's passion.

1:27:41 Drew I can tell.

1:27:42 Adam Do you know what I'm saying?

1:27:43 Drew Yeah, I can imagine.

1:27:45 Adam There's a part of me that would like to step into the ring with her, but another part that just thinks, no, I can't compete with that kind of passion.

1:27:53 Caller That's smart.

1:27:55 Adam Now I'm horny again. Drew though, who has not lost a passion, the step would gladly put the gloves on and enter the passion ring.

1:28:09 Drew In my day.

1:28:10 Adam In his day. Back when he was single. Back when he was single.

1:28:14 Caller Drew, do you have triplets?

1:28:15 Drew I do.

1:28:16 Caller Wow.

1:28:16 Drew They are 12 years old, almost 12.

1:28:19 Adam Almost 12. Yeah, and that's the passion legacies is gonna be carried on.

1:28:25 Caller He talked about passion.

1:28:26 Drew Oh yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

1:28:30 Adam Drew's passionate about his passion. Sarah?

1:28:34 Bonnie Somerville Yeah.

1:28:34 Adam You're 26?

1:28:36 Bonnie Somerville Yes, I am.

1:28:37 Adam What's up?

1:28:38 Bonnie Somerville Well, I was listening to the 16-year-old earlier talk about her mom, how her mom went and had affairs and took her with her. Well, I had that happen both with my mom and my aunt. Actually, my question, let's get back around to that in a minute, is I had no boundaries my whole life and I'm just learning. I actually didn't even know what they were.

1:28:59 Drew But you're in therapy now.

1:29:01 Bonnie Somerville Yeah, and he was talking about boundaries and I felt really stupid but I said it. I said, what are boundaries? I, it's amazing, like, well, I had, I was very promiscuous. I don't even know how many men I've slept with. And I was just wondering what, how do I know who to sleep with? Because I'm very sexual.

1:29:22 Drew Yeah, so maybe just take some time out. You will begin to be attracted to and to attract a whole different kind of person once your therapy gets underway.

1:29:30 Bonnie Somerville Well, I haven't had, I hadn't had sex in nine months.

1:29:32 Bonnie Somerville And then this guy just recently, obviously a player because, and I was so stupid. I said, are you a player? Like, he's going to answer.

1:29:39 Drew Yeah. Well, here's a way you can judge it. If you're super attracted to the guy.

1:29:45 Adam Don't have sex with him.

1:29:46 Drew That's the guy you shouldn't be with.

1:29:47 Bonnie Somerville Oh, that sucks.

1:29:49 Adam I know. I know.

1:29:51 Drew A little more therapy, a little more therapy, then you'll start getting attracted to people that are actually healthy.

1:29:54 Caller Yeah.

1:29:55 Bonnie Somerville Well, I was with the guy for six and a half years. It was very healthy, an engineer.

1:29:59 Drew You drove him crazy, though.

1:30:00 Bonnie Somerville There was no, yeah, like I was the wild one.

1:30:03 Drew I'm sure you did.

1:30:04 Bonnie Somerville And he would go, do you wanna have sex?

1:30:07 Bonnie Somerville And I'd be like, no.

1:30:09 Bonnie Somerville What are you doing?

1:30:10 Bonnie Somerville I mean, he wouldn't just take me or be aggressive about it.

1:30:14 Adam But listen, Sarah.

1:30:15 Drew You had to cheat on him to make him do it.

1:30:17 Adam Yeah, of course, cause if he's a good guy, you're not gonna be able to tolerate that.

1:30:21 Bonnie Somerville Well, I loved him.

1:30:23 Adam I know, you loved him, but you love chaos more. So. I know, but look, here's the thing.

1:30:29 Drew You're doing some about it, at least.

1:30:30 Caller Yeah, you're in therapy, good for you.

1:30:32 Adam You're in therapy, but you sound like you're 15. I mean, you've seen a lot, you've been through a lot. Just trust the process a little bit. Let yourself go, Sarah. Stop clinging to the old.

1:30:41 Caller No, don't tell her to let herself go. That's what got her in trouble.

1:30:44 Bonnie Somerville So I'm trying to get over the whole addiction thing, I guess.

1:30:48 Drew You're an addict?

1:30:50 Bonnie Somerville Yeah.

1:30:50 Drew What are you addicted to?

1:30:52 Bonnie Somerville Coke.

1:30:53 Drew And you're in a program now for addiction? You have a sponsor?

1:31:00 Bonnie Somerville I'm in a cognitive, cognitive.

1:31:04 Drew Cognitive behavioral?

1:31:05 Bonnie Somerville Yeah, not an AA thing.

1:31:08 Drew You might want to look in the AA because that would also work on some of the other stuff you're trying to manage.

1:31:12 Bonnie Somerville I do need, because I'm alone. And so I do need.

1:31:15 Drew Go to see AA, people would do so great in those programs.

1:31:19 Adam They do. Yeah, and look, Sarah, here's the thing. You're trying to become a slightly different person from who you were. And it's tough. I mean, you have to...

1:31:30 Drew Takes time.

1:31:32 Adam Yeah. What do they call that? Molting? What do they call that when the snake sheds its skin? There's a good name for it. Come on, you college people. There's a good name. Like, I think snakes when they get out of their skin and like tarantulas.

1:31:51 Drew I'll try to find them.

1:31:53 Adam Well, molting was what I said. So is that what it is?

1:31:57 Caller Yeah, what you said.

1:31:59 Adam Yeah, I mean, that's what you're doing. It's kind of painful and you don't want to leave the old skin behind, but you gotta just leave it behind.

1:32:06 Caller And it takes a lot of work to change. It's hard work.

1:32:09 Adam I know, and it's scary and you don't want to do it and you want to cling. So go to CA, please. All right, let's just, I gotta take a break here, but real fast, like Amber.

1:32:21 Caller Hi. Hi.

1:32:22 Adam Been on hold for 60 minutes. Current boyfriend won't stay hard during sex. Why? Is it your fault? First time ever? No, it is not your fault. And if it doesn't stay hard while he's actually having intercourse with you, that's really not your fault. I mean, that's seriously his fault and that could be drugs, it could be medication, it could be a million things. Could be biological, could be something pharmacological. You should just talk to him, but do not blame yourself. All right, we will take a quick break. Drew, you want to just go, get out of here.

1:32:54 Drew No, I'm looking at molting, I'm looking at molting.

1:32:56 Adam All right, we'll be right back after this.

1:32:58 Drew Loveline.

1:33:01 Adam You know, Drew, smelling good is more than a smell, it's an attitude.

1:33:06 Drew That's true, Adam.

1:33:07 Adam It is?

1:33:07 Drew Yeah, yeah, I know how to get that attitude too.

1:33:10 Adam How, spray towel?

1:33:11 Drew Axe Deodorant Body Spray, can't lose.

1:33:28 Caller Three, two, one, go.

1:33:31 Adam Yeah, everybody. That's the show. Wanna thank Bonnie Somerville for coming in here tonight.

1:33:37 Caller Thank you.

1:33:38 Adam Now, dear, dear friend of the show.

1:33:40 Caller Thank you.

1:33:41 Adam NYPD Blue, Tuesday nights, 10 o'clock on ABC, 12th big season, also without a paddle, which is-

1:33:49 Drew Molting, Adam, molting.

1:33:51 Adam It is molting. Well, that's what I said, right?

1:33:53 Drew Yeah, you're right. All right.

1:33:55 Caller And watch Adam on the Late Late Show.

1:33:57 Adam That's right.

1:33:57 Drew Yes, everybody tune in.

1:33:58 Caller Three nights.

1:33:59 Adam That's right. Three big nights.

1:34:01 Caller Three big ones.

1:34:01 Adam Maybe you'll see Bonnie there and possibly Drew in it.

1:34:04 Caller He might see me in person.

1:34:06 Adam I can see like cut to Friday night. Engineer Chris, what's it like working with me? Because I need to, you know. I'm there, man. You're there? All right, buddy. Get yourself a little haircut. We'll take a extendo 22 hour break and we'll have a puddle of mud in here tomorrow night. We're going to take calls from my rack. Puddle of mud was just in Iraq doing a USO thing. And now we're going to take calls from the soldiers in Iraq for us.

1:34:35 Caller That's so cool.

1:34:36 Adam Very cool. Bye, Drew. Sorry I didn't get to meet you. Oh, Drew, yes. But I'm telling you, she could have broke up your marriage. She really could have. She could have. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:51 Caller I feel sorry for his balls, to be honest.

1:34:55 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:34:58 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, October 5, 2004