Episode 1000650190429

0:10 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

0:15 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

0:17 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

0:25 Voiceover With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

0:28 Adam It's Loveline. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Diction Medicine Specialist. Drew is in Syracuse, New York. Yes, Drew?

0:39 Drew Yes, Adam.

0:40 Adam Yes, Drew.

0:41 Drew You would love it here. It's beautiful. The trees are changing colors. Crystal, clean, beautiful, cool air.

0:49 Adam Yeah. They're changing colors here, too, but it's because gang bangers are spray painting on them. It's a slightly different vibe.

0:57 Drew It's a different kind of gold.

0:58 Adam Yeah. Bonnie Somerville is here tonight. Bonnie is first season on NYPD Blue, of course, on ABC, Tuesday Nights at 10 o'clock, and also in Without a Paddle, which we were talking about last night, I think, Drew. $55 million. Thank you very much.

1:19 Drew Yeah.

1:19 Adam Wait. Get your... Chris, you've got to tell the guests to talk into the microphone. You've got to turn the mic toward them.

1:24 Bonnie Somerville That would be nice if someone told me what to do.

1:26 Adam Move it around, baby doll. You don't have to chase it. Let the mic come to you.

1:32 Bonnie Somerville I do. I never chase it. Never.

1:34 Adam That's right. And you know what? When you don't chase it, it makes the mic want you more.

1:39 Bonnie Somerville Always.

1:39 Adam Yeah. That's what I did with my mic. I was like, I'm not into mics. And the mic was like, what's up? Everyone's into me. And I'm like, yeah, just not my thing.

1:48 Bonnie Somerville You have to earn it.

1:50 Adam Prove it. Yeah. Drew. You'd like Bonnie.

1:57 Oh, yeah.

1:59 Drew I saw the movie. You didn't see the movie.

2:01 Adam She's good looking.

2:02 Bonnie Somerville Were you really talking about it? Are you just saying?

2:04 Adam No, we were. No, Drew saw the movie.

2:06 Bonnie Somerville You liked it?

2:07 Drew Yeah. My kids loved it.

2:09 Adam Yeah. Drew liked it. The kids loved it. Everyone was happy. Oh, and Chris, move the mic again.

2:15 Bonnie Somerville Thank you.

2:16 Drew I'm looking at 55 million, 421.

2:20 Really? That's a lot.

2:21 Adam Yeah, you're a big time baby, Don.

2:23 Bonnie Somerville Wow, I'm huge.

2:24 Adam And here's the other thing, Drew. Bonnie's right up your alley.

2:29 Drew I will have.

2:30 Adam He likes blondes. Oh, you do? Well, no, Drew, you can say that because your wife is blonde, you see?

2:37 Drew That's right.

2:38 Bonnie Somerville Oh, well then you have to say that actually.

2:40 Adam Yeah, but it's tough because you're still admitting to liking somebody in a sense. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, Drew, passionate man. Bonnie, beautiful woman. You guys make a wonderful couple. That's all I'm saying. All right, so Drew's in Syracuse, so you really couldn't get further away, could you? Could you get further than Syracuse?

3:03 Drew I could be actually in the Atlantic Ocean.

3:05 Adam Yeah. What did you do over there?

3:08 Drew Spoke at another Ithaca school, the same Ithaca College. I was at Cornell a couple months ago. Oh, yeah. Made that lovely trip from, you know, 5 a.m. LAX to Chicago to Syracuse, get in a car, drive two hours to Ithaca, drive two hours back so I could do the radio show.

3:23 Adam Let me see if I can do that math. You're averaging about 18 cents a mile, Drew. Maybe.

3:31 Drew Oh, not even.

3:35 Adam Just do the math one of these days.

3:36 Drew You know what, though?

3:38 Adam If they make it at least 50 cents a mile, don't go.

3:41 Drew I enjoy talking to college students so much.

3:45 Adam I really do. But wouldn't you enjoy it more if they were actually in the continental United States?

3:52 You didn't have to take...

3:53 Drew All things being equal, yes.

3:55 Adam You didn't have to take the spruce goose and a couple of barges and spend the night in a hut to get to where these kids are.

4:03 Bonnie Somerville Camping.

4:04 Adam Wouldn't it be nicer? All right. How's NYPD Blue treating you, by the way, Bonnie?

4:10 Bonnie Somerville It's great. It's the greatest show I've ever worked on by far.

4:13 Adam Why?

4:14 Bonnie Somerville I mean, the show runs itself. It's been on forever. They know exactly what they're doing. It's the nicest group of people I've ever met. And the best group of actors I've ever worked with. I mean, Dennis Franz is just amazing.

4:26 Adam Is it because... I mean, you feel like the show is secure. It's sort of like... I don't know, when shows are young, they're almost like young teenage boys having to prove themselves. And then they sort of mellow into nicer older guys. Is it a nicer older guy?

4:42 Bonnie Somerville Yeah, well, every show I've ever worked on, pretty much, with the exception of one, has been a new, fledgling, you know, suffering, almost getting cancelled, any minute now show. So to get on a show where there's no pressure on me at all. I just have to show up and do a good job.

4:58 Adam Get your paycheck.

4:59 Bonnie Somerville Get my paycheck. Not get fired. And hopefully, you know, the show is amazing on its own.

5:03 Adam What is the show on like year? Twelve? Twelve? Wow. Is there a... I don't know what's on the air currently. I mean, E.R.'s probably been around for ten years or something like that.

5:16 Bonnie Somerville I think Lawn Mower.

5:17 Drew Reba's been on twelve years.

5:19 Bonnie Somerville No, I think it seems like longer, but...

5:22 Adam Yeah, I think Mama's family's been on for like forty-four years. You don't know. That stuff just goes on to like the WB. You have no idea the stuff's still on. Yeah, I don't know. Lawn Order's still on?

5:35 Bonnie Somerville Is Lawn Order even on for twelve?

5:36 Adam I don't know.

5:38 Bonnie Somerville Well, there's like Lawn Order Antarctica, Lawn Order, 57th Street, Lawn Order, Drew's Closet, Cincinnati, Overhead Baggage Compartment.

5:51 Adam That'd be good, Drew. Alright, so Drew's in Syracuse, where it is one and change in the morning.

6:00 Drew Yeah, but in my head, I'm still Pacific Times. That's cool.

6:02 Adam Right. So you're cool.

6:03 Drew You're cool.

6:04 Adam And what is it? Is it 40 degrees outside?

6:07 Drew Yeah, it's a good 44, 45 degrees.

6:09 Bonnie Somerville Don't you love it?

6:10 Drew Love it. I haven't had a fall in about twenty years. Oh my God, it's fall here. It's fall.

6:16 Bonnie Somerville See, I'm from New York, so I hear that and I get, I miss it so badly.

6:19 Drew You're from New York City? Never.

6:21 Bonnie Somerville I'm from Brooklyn.

6:22 Drew Brooklyn.

6:23 Bonnie Somerville Yes.

6:24 Adam Yeah. You actually have seasons. It starts feeling like football season.

6:29 Bonnie Somerville You smell it in the air. It smells like fall.

6:31 Adam Thanksgiving starts feeling like Thanksgiving. You know, it actually turns to colors of Thanksgiving.

6:37 Bonnie Somerville Especially there. It's so gorgeous right now.

6:40 Adam Alright, Drew, don't come back. Stay in Syracuse.

6:43 Drew Fair enough.

6:43 Adam Are you going to be back tomorrow night?

6:45 Drew No, I've got to go to Washington, DC. Alright. Listen, I'm the keynote speaker for the National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity. Actually, not so boring.

6:56 Really interesting.

6:58 Adam Well, that would be good.

6:59 Drew Yeah, good times.

7:00 Adam Find out what those kids are up to. Would you, Drew?

7:03 Drew All the sex addicts?

7:05 Adam Wear your no anal button. You know that ass with the slash wearing your lapel to those things?

7:11 Bonnie Somerville Just say no to anal.

7:13 Adam Yeah.

7:15 Drew It's just everything in that conference. Everything has a double entendre of that conference. No anal butt ton.

7:22 Adam Right. All right. All right, buddy. Hey, Bonnie.

7:26 Bonnie Somerville Yes.

7:26 Adam Have you done any PSAs for ABC News?

7:28 Bonnie Somerville I thought you were going to ask me something else.

7:30 Adam No, no.

7:30 Bonnie Somerville Not an anal question.

7:31 Adam I wouldn't go there. No, you're from Brooklyn. I assume you do that. I'm saying, I'm saying if you have you done any, if ABC asks you to do one of those just read or just talk to your kid ones.

7:46 Bonnie Somerville Hatred is a bad thing.

7:48 Adam Yeah.

7:49 Bonnie Somerville Would I do it?

7:49 Adam Yeah, I like those.

7:51 Bonnie Somerville I like those.

7:51 Adam I like the ones on the cop cars, the sort of general ones like help stop senior abuse. It's like, OK. Well, I'm not currently beating my grandmother.

8:02 Bonnie Somerville The next time I am, I'll think of this.

8:04 I'll give it some thought.

8:06 Adam OK, so I'm not going to do that. Outside of that, really don't know what to do. Unless I start kicking in doors. Like I'm not. Should I start talking to my friends about it? Listen, have you been, you know, backhanded Nana lately or what am I supposed to do to help end senior abuse? Don't yell at Nana. I really, I really think that's just one of those things that someone decided, look, we need bumper stickers to put on cop cars and the gas, grass or ass is not going to do and the no fat chicks isn't going to work. We need something that can just be universally agreed on. No stepping on puppies. You know, like stop senior abuse. Alright. And I like when David Schwimmer just tells you to talk. Talk to your kids.

8:52 Bonnie Somerville I like it when they do it in a lot with wet floors. They just happen to be in a warehouse that's been hosed down with blue lighting.

9:02 Adam Little dry ice in the background. They stop long enough.

9:05 Bonnie Somerville They're smoke-rising.

9:07 Adam They stop long enough to tell you to talk to your kids and then they walk away. They don't tell you what to talk about or anything. It's just, would you talk to your kids?

9:14 Bonnie Somerville Talk to your kids.

9:15 Adam It's condescending. Alright, Drew, you ready to rock?

9:17 Drew Did you see that Roddy Dangerfield died?

9:19 Uh-oh.

9:20 Bonnie Somerville I heard that.

9:21 Uh-oh.

9:22 Bonnie Somerville Wow.

9:23 Adam Now I feel bad because I always said bad things about him. Always had a bad karma. He was a great man. Great comic. He lived a long life.

9:36 Bonnie Somerville He lived a very long life.

9:38 Adam What did he make it to? Like 80?

9:40 Drew 82.

9:41 Adam 82?

9:41 Bonnie Somerville Wasn't he in a coma for a while?

9:43 Adam He was in a coma for... He was on Kimmel like three weeks ago. I kid you not. I mean, Roddy Dangerfield literally got carted out to Kimmel to plug his book. It was less than a month ago. And I remember just thinking, what are you doing? Like, you know, enjoy your old and, pow, like two weeks later, into the coma. But anyway, I'd say he had a bad first half of his life and a good second half. Yes, Joe?

10:17 Drew I think that's right.

10:19 Adam And by the way, how come there wasn't much coverage on Rodney Dangerfield in a coma?

10:24 Bonnie Somerville I didn't even know that until today. Somebody said at work, yeah, he was in a coma. I said...

10:28 Drew They were... The press accepts the gloss that people put on it. Look, you have a stroke in a coma after aortic valve surgery. That is bad times. I told you, I said, he's not going to make it. And then he got the... He developed a semen infection. It was over weeks ago. I could tell. But of course, the press go, oh, well, he's just in a little coma. No big deal. Just a coma. They didn't say a little coma. It's a small coma. Nothing to worry about. They call it Coma.

10:57 Adam All I'm saying is one of the most popular stand-ups and comedic figures of all time goes into a coma and you barely hear about it.

11:06 Bonnie Somerville He doesn't get any respect, I guess.

11:08 Adam If he's in a coma, oh, no, you're going to hell.

11:10 Bonnie Somerville No, I couldn't resist that.

11:13 Adam Two weeks, the guy's in a coma. No one said that. Meanwhile, there's a volcano that's belching just a little, like a handful of ash every other day. And it's all the news can talk about. Right. You ready to rock here, Drew?

11:25 Drew Let's go. You've got the phones at your end.

11:31 Adam You know what's funny, Drew?

11:33 Drew No.

11:34 Adam I owe you that. Oh, God, is that true? Yes. You not know what is funny. Nobody knows what's not funny more than Drew. Truer words were never spoken. Never spoken, Drew.

11:46 Drew That's why I was so emphatic about it. Absolutely not.

11:48 Adam All right. Here's what I'm saying. I always, whenever Drew goes out of town, Drew picks the calls by sticking these little stickums up to the call that he wants. And whenever he leaves town, the stickum is always on the little post-it note, is always next to the call that was from 22 hours ago when we were here last night. And I always look down and go, oh, that's the one Drew picked.

12:12 Bonnie Somerville Are these random?

12:13 Adam They're going to be tonight.

12:15 Drew Hey, by the way, I just went on the line and looked at the previous reports on Roddy Dangerfield. And here's the headline, Dangerfield in light coma.

12:23 Adam Really?

12:24 Bonnie Somerville In light coma.

12:26 Adam What is that? That's stupid.

12:28 Drew It's idiot. I want to kill the press.

12:32 Adam Yeah, I was telling Drew the other day, I would be horrible if a loved one was in a coma. Because they always do that thing where they go, you gotta talk to them. Yeah, you need to be with them. I'd be over there and it'd be like, Hi, Dad, how you doing? Dad, hey. Pops, yeah, nothing? Alright, I'm going to get something to eat. About 30 seconds of me sitting there looking at that potato before I just went, Alright, look, we got two moves here. Either I'm going on a run or somebody got a sharpie. One or the other.

13:13 Bonnie Somerville And a kegger.

13:13 Adam I'm going on a run. Who needs something?

13:16 Bonnie Somerville Yeah, but then what if they can hear you? See, then you're in trouble. Then they wake up.

13:19 Adam Then your dad wakes up and he's like, Yeah, I don't know, Drew, what about talking to them when they're in the coma?

13:27 Drew Maybe it might lighten the spirits while they're in the coma, but they will not remember. Especially an old guy like this that's in a metabolic coma. Impossible.

13:36 Adam What's the difference between a metabolic coma and a coma coma?

13:39 Drew When a structural problem in the brain or being bonked in the head, that kind of thing is different than your body. You're getting multi-system failure, you've had a stroke. You're old, that's bad times. I'm reading through this thing too. It's the wife. It's clear that it was the wife who's going, She calls it a light coma. She says he's getting better. She says he's looking at her and smiling. No, no, no. That's why they spun it that way.

14:02 Adam He'll be missed.

14:04 Michael? Hello? How's it going?

14:09 Adam 22?

14:10 Yep.

14:11 Adam What's up?

14:13 I've had some debates. I've had many health classes. I'm in college now. And I've had health in college. And they never really explain the day after pill. I've had people say, oh, it's abortion. But I've always said, no, it can't be abortion.

14:28 Drew Have you looked up the science? Have you looked up the material?

14:33 You know, I've looked it up in the books that I got through the classes in college I took, the health classes.

14:39 Drew No, no, no, no. You're going to have to go get the primary literature out of the medical literature.

14:43 Adam Well, he's asking you.

14:44 Drew You're talking about emergency contraception, right? Not RU-486, but the emergency contraception, which is a just a preterm pill, which is Plan B. It's a progesterone that you take within 72 hours of unprotected intercourse. It is not an abortion pill. It prevents the egg from being released. There was a New England Journal article just a couple weeks ago that finally admitted that's the way it works. It may have a finite effect on implantation, about the same risk as the birth control pill taken normally, about the same risk as the medication taken off the market last week. Vioxx, we don't talk about that, about the same risks as Celebrex, theoretically maybe interfering with implantation, but its primary effect is by preventing ovulation. That's why you have three days. Sperm hangout hangs out waiting for an egg for three days. And if an egg is released in that three days, you get pregnant. If you suppress the release, you don't get pregnant.

15:39 Adam My sperm doesn't hang.

15:40 Bonnie Somerville Yours isn't there for three days.

15:41 Adam Same with the coma policy. My sperm's like hey, where's any eggs? Nothing. I'm going on a run. And they actually run.

15:49 Drew Even so it takes your sperm about a day. They take about a day to get where they need to go.

16:00 Adam Drew, you're outraged.

16:01 Drew I'm outraged.

16:02 Bonnie Somerville They take three days.

16:04 Drew Three days they hang out but it takes them about a day to get where they need to be.

16:08 Adam It's about a day's journey. We're outraged by this because we've always said this morning after pills, not an abortion pill, and everyone should get on board with this, especially the a-hole, two-faced right-wingers, the religious nutjobs who claim to be anti-abortion. Here's your chance to put an end to abortion, and of course they come out against it, which just says to me they like preaching more than they like teenagers.

16:37 Drew You're interested in helping kids or you're not. You're interested in protecting an ideology, which is it?

16:42 Bonnie Somerville Well, that's the thing. To not let that information out, that the egg isn't even fertilized, is just a crime. It's ridiculous.

16:48 Drew Totally agree.

16:48 Bonnie Somerville For all these people that are against abortion.

16:51 Drew Listen, I would not be talking about it if it did, in fact, have its primary effect as from impairing implantation, then it would be an abortion pill. I agree with that. It doesn't work that way.

17:03 Adam Drew, passionate about his abortion.

17:05 Bonnie Somerville I love that.

17:06 Adam Passionate about his blondes, passionate about traveling for a nickel. Many, many passions, Drew. Very passionate.

17:13 Bonnie Somerville Passionate about without a paddle.

17:17 Adam Oh, without a paddle. $55 million. Thank you very much.

17:21 Bonnie Somerville So happy.

17:22 Adam Yeah. And a lot of that. I got to say.

17:24 Bonnie Somerville A lot of that is going to me.

17:25 Adam I got to say. Well, no, it's not. But if Bonnie Somerville was not in that movie, I got to believe it would be in the low teens in terms of box office gross right now.

17:37 Bonnie Somerville I got to agree with you.

17:38 Adam Yeah. And I'm talking 13, maybe 14. Let's talk to Katelyn. All right. Talk to Katelyn. Katelyn? You're 18? Yes. What's up?

17:54 Caller Well, I'm having problems with my boyfriend. We've been dating for about 15 months now. And until about three or four months ago, every time we had sex I had an orgasm. And for the last three or four months, it's kind of hit and miss. But it doesn't seem to bother him. I have been trying to figure out what's wrong and trying to improve the situation. I've talked to him about it. And he doesn't care. He cares, but he doesn't want to do anything about it. And I don't know what to do.

18:26 Drew What were you liking to do?

18:30 Caller I want him to make a valid effort to make sex more enjoyable for me. Because as of right now, I don't even really want to have it anymore, you know?

18:40 Adam I'll tell you, you have sex with an angry vagina and you've got problems, my friend. I saw that. There was a bumper sticker on an LAPD car. Right next to end senior beers.

18:53 Bonnie Somerville It was a PSA on HBO.

18:54 Adam Yeah, Schwimmer was talking about never having sex with a... Oh, and talk to your kids. They should just start combining them.

19:02 Bonnie Somerville About crime.

19:03 Adam About crime. And angry fraternists. Caitlin? Yeah, so you're angry at him, and is he not giving you oral sex?

19:13 Caller Well, sometimes, but not very often. He expects me to give him oral sex more than he expects me to.

19:19 Drew Is that what you need, though? Is that what you're missing?

19:22 Caller Well, no. Like, I just want him to understand what I need. Like, I started masturbating about two months ago because I realized that I could get myself off easier than he could. And the doctor knows about it, and I tried to tell him, like, if I can show you what you can do. And he's like, well, no, that doesn't turn me on. And, like, he acts as if that is an insult to him that I can get.

19:45 Drew Why are you with this guy? Why are you with him? No, you do not.

19:52 Adam The bloom is off the rose. He's slid into a sort of sexual zone. They go into their comfort zone sexually, and that's it. They just, they're not willing to change. It's easy for them. They got something easy, something regular, and that's it. And you're angry at him, and he's not listening you, and he's not respecting you.

20:12 Bonnie Somerville I'm just so surprised that you're 18, that you're even having this conversation. I mean, I didn't even know to ask for anything until I was at least, I don't know, 25. Good for you that you're asking for stuff.

20:25 Adam Yeah, good for you, bad for him. Hey, uh, Caitlin?

20:29 So you're saying there's no solution on the No, here's what we're saying.

20:34 Adam Don't come at him with the whiny voice. Come at him with the adult voice. Don't go. Give him the, uh, see the difference between that?

20:52 Caller See what I'm saying? I said, look at, watch me. And he said, no, I don't want to. That doesn't turn me on.

21:00 Adam But you're freaking him out. You may, your sexuality may be overtaking him.

21:05 Drew How old is he?

21:07 Adam He's nine. How old? How old is he, Caitlin? He's eighteen. He's a little freaked out. Look, Caitlin, tell him, forget about sex. We need to communicate. You need to meet my needs. I need to meet your needs. And if that's not going to happen, then we need to break up.

21:26 Drew Yeah, that's it. I bet you can break up with him. But God forbid you should get married to this guy. You're 19. Anyway, you've seen the data on 19-year-old marriages. It's like one out of a thousand. It's impossible. How old is this guy?

21:40 Caller He's 18.

21:43 Drew No, it's because he won't respond to you. He doesn't care about you. He's showing something about himself.

21:48 Adam Stop arguing both sides of the point, by the way. Second ago, he was an idiot who wasn't listening to you. And now, because everything's not perfect, you have to break up with him. He's not listening to you. Or just stay with him. Who cares? Just don't get pregnant, all right? Hold on. She's 18. He's 18. She's sexually active. They're engaged. She's from Iowa. Jew! Yes? Am I right? I'm never wrong.

22:14 Drew Are you Jewish, Caitlin?

22:15 Caller No, we're not Jewish.

22:16 Bonnie Somerville No, they're not. They're not. Because they're having a lot of oral sex.

22:20 Adam You know what, Drew? Have I ever been wrong?

22:22 Drew No, not in theirs. Well, you couldn't be right. You're most mistaken.

22:27 Adam Boy, I've got to recalibrate my whole judometer. Caitlin, don't get pregnant. And by the way, yes, you can break up even though you're engaged because when you get engaged at 17 and a half, you're made to break up. That's what you're supposed to do.

22:44 Drew Of course.

22:44 Adam You're not supposed to get married when you get engaged at 17 and change. It's easy to do.

22:50 Bonnie Somerville Is this your first boyfriend?

22:52 Adam No, hold on a second. Put her on hold. Caitlin? First boyfriend?

22:58 Caller Okay. Wow.

22:59 Adam You got that little girl voice.

23:01 Drew Yeah, there's a lot going on with Caitlin, Adam, a lot. I'm telling you.

23:05 Adam Is your dad around, Caitlin?

23:07 Caller No, he's not. Well, I mean, he's around, but I'm not living close to him anymore.

23:13 Drew What did he do to you?

23:14 Adam Why? Was he abusive?

23:17 Caller My dad's great.

23:19 Adam Why did you move out so early?

23:21 Caller Because I didn't want to live at home anymore.

23:25 Drew She moved out because she moved out.

23:27 Adam I'll tell you, no show gets more of those answers than... First off, I moved out. I moved away. I moved out young. Why? Why is your dad around? No, my dad's great. Why did you move out so young? Because I moved out. Something's going on. Of course. You know, chicks don't move out at 18. Then what is it? Is her mom a pain in the ass? Kaylyn, what's wrong? Your mom's a pain? And really, why did you move out so young?

23:58 Caller I didn't want to live with my mom anymore.

24:01 Drew What's up with her?

24:03 Caller Well, she is very demanding. She's unappreciative.

24:09 Adam Alcoholic?

24:10 Caller No, she's not. She owns her own business. Since I have been in eighth grade, I have ran half of the business and I have gotten 20% of the profits. She has never acknowledged when I did something right, but every time I did something wrong, she was all over it.

24:26 Drew What kind of business?

24:29 Adam You got 20% of the business, though.

24:31 Caller Yeah, but I ran 100% of it.

24:35 Drew What kind of business?

24:37 Caller A dog boarding business.

24:40 Adam Lesbian. All right, Caitlin, when you talk about your mom, you sound like you're talking about your boyfriend, by the way. You're very dissatisfied. I don't blame you. Maybe your boyfriend's bad. Maybe your mom's bad. Maybe that's just your point of view. I don't know. Don't get pregnant. Don't get married. Slow down. I know you've been working since you were young and responsible and all that stuff. Slow down. You're 18. No reason to do anything yet. You couldn't go wrong by slowing down, everybody.

25:12 Caller Right.

25:13 Adam Right.

25:13 Caller All right.

25:14 Adam Speaking of slowing down, let's stop this show, Drew. Let's stop this show. Let's stop this show. Let's stop this show. Let's stop this show. Bonnie Somerville is here tonight. Thank you. NYPD Blue. Even though she just showed up, the main reason it's been such a success over the last 12 years. That's the way I look at it. That's what a publicist told me to say. Tuesday Nights, 10 o'clock on ABC, also without a paddle, $55 million. Thank you very much. Take a quick break. Be right back after this.

25:46 Caller Thank you for coming. I'm calling Loveline. Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

26:09 Adam All the way in Syracuse, everybody. Bonnie Somerville is here tonight. She is from NYPD Blue, ABC, 10 o'clock Tuesday nights, and also out in theaters without a paddle, which had her good friend Seth Green in here talking about that and what's his nose and what's his nose to. All right, I can't remember the other guy's name. Okay, Dax, that's right. Well, it's not an everyday name.

26:36 Bonnie Somerville Dax and Matthew.

26:38 Adam Oh yeah, Matthew Lillard came in here. Yeah, and Dax, it's like, you know, it's hard to remember Dax. It's not like, oh yeah, I grew up, I had a neighbor Dax and there's uncle Dax. Dax's Five and Dime store. He didn't know any Dax. Yeah, he didn't know any Dax. Nothing named, he didn't have no pet named after Dax. All right, ready to rock here, Drew?

27:00 Drew Here we go.

27:04 Adam You sure we're going?

27:05 Drew Here we're going.

27:07 Adam Michelle?

27:09 Yes.

27:09 Adam You're 24?

27:11 Caller Yes.

27:12 Adam What is up?

27:14 Caller I have a question regarding anal sex. Hello?

27:19 Adam Yeah.

27:21 Caller Oh, okay. I've been seeing this guy probably for the past maybe eight or nine months and he really enjoys it and I do too somewhat but he is quite big and I've heard pros and cons about it and when we do have it, I don't tend to bleed all the time but I do probably like half the time and I've heard that...

27:48 Adam Hold on. What's the pro part of anal? I'm going to write this down. Laminate it, put it in my wallet. Give me the broad strokes on the pros of anal.

27:59 Drew So, you heard pros and cons. Yeah.

28:01 Adam I heard pros and cons.

28:03 Caller My pros and cons?

28:04 Adam Yeah. Let's hear yours.

28:06 Caller My pro is that I enjoy it.

28:09 Adam Enjoyment.

28:10 Caller The con I guess would be that sometimes I bleed.

28:14 Adam All right. Sometimes you bleed.

28:17 Drew All right. Think about the cons.

28:19 Caller But I also do bleed when we have regular sex from him.

28:24 Drew You bleed from the vagina, not from the anus. Yeah. Okay. But the thing about the cons...

28:31 Adam The baby Jesus bleeds as a small tear of blood comes from the baby Jesus in the nativity.

28:37 Bonnie Somerville During regular sex or anal?

28:38 Adam No, that's anal.

28:39 Bonnie Somerville Right.

28:39 Adam Regular is cool. As far as I know. What about it, Drew?

28:46 Drew The thing about the cons on the anal sex is that they keep on accumulating over time. Because as you get older, that whole area can prolapse and it can scar and get hemorrhoids and fistulas. It just can be a mess. So the fact that you're bleeding from it means you're traumatizing the area and you can really head to a lot of trouble. So it's actually something that... Does it bring you to orgasm when you're doing that?

29:09 Caller It actually does, yeah.

29:12 Adam Passionate woman.

29:16 Drew Try to avoid the activity that causes the bleeding. I mean, take it easy.

29:19 Adam Well, how big is his pecker, by the way?

29:26 Caller Well, I haven't actually measured it, but I would say it's more than... It's probably more than eight inches.

29:35 Adam Wow, that's nice.

29:37 Caller I have done it prior to that with other people, but they haven't really gone all the way in, and I've never blessed them, but I think it's just because he's bigger.

29:48 Adam Big man, yeah. Makes it a tougher cell. See, for me, it's kind of like, huh, all right.

29:54 Drew Are you in yet?

29:55 Caller I have heard... What I've heard about it is that if you do that, he's not supposed to go in all the way. That could be dangerous, and he does, and I don't know if that's the reason why I bleed.

30:08 Drew Well, the going in all the way part is probably not as big a deal as just the overall behavior.

30:14 Caller Going in. Yeah.

30:15 Drew Yeah, the going in at all.

30:17 Bonnie Somerville That's enough.

30:18 Drew Yeah.

30:19 Adam That's a... It's a bad combo. It really is. The guy with the big dork who's bent on anal, it's really... It's like the crazy college student with the hunting rifle.

30:30 Bonnie Somerville Yeah. Yeah. It's a no-win.

30:32 Adam It's bad. Someone's going to get hurt. Yeah. All right. Let's keep on keeping on and speak to Vanessa. Vanessa?

30:42 Caller Hello.

30:42 Adam 21. What's up?

30:45 Caller Well, let's see. I moved back home a year ago and things are going cool. Everything's going really good with my family and stuff. I have a history with women in the past relationships and now I'm kind of like, you know, gotten over that quote unquote phase in my life and stuff and so my parents are happy. They were never too happy, you know, when I was in those relationships but just recently I met someone, a girl, who I'm actually really interested in and so now I'm kind of torn between this, you know, everything being good with my family again and, you know, meeting this really awesome person that, you know, something good might happen from it, so.

31:28 Drew Well, what are you going to do? I mean, you're going to adjust your social life to what sort of satisfies your family?

31:37 Caller I practically did. I mean, my family is like really important to me. Like, we've been close, like, you know.

31:44 Adam Yeah, but you're into chicks, right?

31:46 Caller Well, I'm sort of equally into guys. But I, you know, have had better luck with women as far as, like, emotionally and, you know.

31:57 Drew How do you get so sort of spun about this? How do you get so confused about your identity?

32:03 Caller I think if my parents were okay with it, I would probably be okay with living that life. But, you know, I'm sort of, you know, they're Christians, you know. So, and so it sort of puts me in a spot, you know, because it's either, like, have this lifestyle and not my family or have my family and not this lifestyle.

32:24 Drew Well, you keep calling it a lifestyle, it's just how you're configured, you're wired. Were you sexually abused growing up or something?

32:30 Caller Yeah, when I was little.

32:32 Drew Yeah, well, that doesn't count. No, forget that then. But that's where all this sexual orientation confusion comes from, and that's not something you...

32:40 Caller Growing up, my birth mother was, you know, a complete slut and...

32:43 Drew Uh-oh, birth mother.

32:44 Caller Seeing that growing up, you know, I think that kind of like put that mentality in my head that like I want to be the opposite of her.

32:50 Drew Well, look, you were sexually abused, and when women are sexually abused, it's very common for them to have all kinds of issues about their sexual orientation, development of sexual abuse.

32:57 Adam Who sexually abused you?

32:59 Caller Um, I was a friend of the family, actually.

33:03 Drew Your current family?

33:05 Caller No, my birth mother's family.

33:07 Drew How old were you when you were adopted by this family?

33:09 Caller Um, well, I live with my dad and my step mom raised me, though. So I moved in with my dad when I was about seven.

33:18 Drew I see. Okay, well, look, if you want to do something to kind of get some clarity about this, get some therapy and decide who it is you are and what you are doing. What?

33:25 Caller I'm going right now, actually.

33:27 Drew Well, good. And that's what you need to do because you're trying to make decisions that are really important about who you are and what your sources of attraction are based on your family's wishes. And it'd be nice if you lived in a perfect world that that would work, but that doesn't work.

33:39 Caller Yeah.

33:39 Drew Now, you may end up being not so confused about who you are and your sexual orientation through therapy. And maybe we'll be in such a way that will make your family happy. Maybe it won't, but you'll be able to be able to do it. Deal with that, too.

33:50 Adam I don't get the part where you were molested by a family friend, but you're so worried about your family.

33:56 Caller Oh, that was my birth mother. Her and I don't speak anymore.

34:00 Adam But where was your biological dad? He was out.

34:02 Caller He was living 500 miles away trying to get his life back together.

34:10 Drew As funny as Adam and my women are, if that had been or the sexes had been reversed, that had been a dad who was an a-hole and the mom living far away, she would have moved in with the mom at seven and never let her forget it.

34:20 Adam Yeah. Your dad moved 500 miles away and left you with a crazy mom.

34:24 Caller Well, he didn't know she was crazy at the time, you know? I mean.

34:27 Adam Well, he got divorced from her, didn't he?

34:31 Caller You know, my dad, he's actually my hero, so.

34:36 Adam Yeah. Well, first off, he was young. He was into his own thing. What the hell does that mean? He had a kid. He had a daughter. He abandoned his daughter.

34:45 Caller And he thought the best thing for me would be to leave me with my mother. He thought a kid should be with his mother. But later on in life, more so, he should be with his mother and the father.

35:04 Yeah, how about he hung on the same town?

35:07 Adam Did your dad find Jesus Christ later on in life?

35:12 Caller Probably a couple years after he moved away. And then I was with him.

35:17 Drew Was he in jail at the time?

35:19 Caller No, no, no.

35:19 Adam Because that's where Jesus hangs out.

35:21 Bonnie Somerville Where was Jesus?

35:24 Caller He just started going to a church and that's where he actually met my stepmother at church.

35:29 Adam All right. But listen, here's what goes on. And I don't know why, but one parent has to be the villain and the other one has to be the saint. And the dad is the hero. The dad moved away. I mean, you have a young girl and you split. You leave town. And by the way, you leave her with the nut job. And don't tell me he didn't know she was a nut job. She was stalking the guy.

35:56 Drew Absolutely.

35:56 Adam Getting fires, calling work. You're talking out of both sides of your mouth. First is, oh, my dad's my hero. I owe him so much. He's so much reverence. No, he moved out of town. And then when I said, well, why do you leave him with the nut? Oh, he didn't know. And then the next thing you say is she was stalking him at work and he had to leave town. Of course, he knew better than anybody what a psycho bitch this chick was. Of course, that's why he divorced her.

36:20 Bonnie Somerville That's why he moved 500 miles away.

36:21 Adam That's why he fled. And when he fled, he left you with her. Oh, but he thinks a daughter should be with the mother, even though the mother is psychotic. And he also, oh, well, he was still young. He was still fine in himself. Stop giving this guy such a break. Yeah. Maybe he's got his stuff together. Maybe he's a decent guy. Maybe you remarried and all that kind of stuff. You don't owe him as much as you think you do. The reason you like chicks is because he left you a psycho mom and you got molested.

36:52 Drew But you know, that may not go away. That may be just the way she is.

36:55 Adam Drew, hold on. Yeah. That's heavy.

36:59 Bonnie Somerville Take a breath.

37:00 Adam Let's take a breath.

37:03 Bonnie Somerville You want some water?

37:04 Adam Yeah, I can go for some agua. That's Mexican for water. Drew, don't say anything. Don't say anything. Don't say nothing. All right, buddy? We're going to take a break. We're going to take a break. We're going to take a break. She's not in Syracuse. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there in Syracuse. Bonnie Somerville here tonight, which basically sort of sounds like a cross between like one of James Bond's secretaries and like Ron Howard's girlfriend from Happy Days. Like it has a very wholesome, but slightly sexual sounding name. Yes, Drew?

38:15 Drew Strangely, that's the way her voice sounds.

38:17 Caller Yeah, really.

38:19 Adam Oh, seductive. Yes.

38:21 Bonnie Somerville Slightly wholesome or slightly sexual.

38:23 Drew Both.

38:24 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

38:25 Bonnie Somerville That was good.

38:27 Adam Bonnie and I were just having a great discussion. By the way, Bonnie on NYPD Blue, Tuesday Nights, 10 o'clock on ABC and currently in theaters and without a paddle. Bonnie and I were just having a lovely conversation about Crank Yankers.

38:44 Bonnie Somerville Yes.

38:44 Adam And how much she likes Crank Yankers. God love you, baby doll.

38:48 Bonnie Somerville And you were shocked. I knew what character you were.

38:51 Adam She knew I was Bircham.

38:52 Bonnie Somerville Bircham kills me.

38:53 Adam And it just reminded me that not only is Crank Yankers on as we speak, but secondly, I think we got a Season 1 DVD.

39:04 Bonnie Somerville You do?

39:05 Adam Which is out. Yeah.

39:06 Bonnie Somerville She's excited.

39:07 Adam Yeah.

39:07 Bonnie Somerville No, I'm serious. Season 1, though, that was when I found that. When someone told me about it, because I love that, they were like, you have to see this show. I couldn't believe it. I just I was I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen.

39:19 Adam That's when you fell in love with Crank Yankers.

39:21 Bonnie Somerville I did.

39:21 Adam God love you. And that's kind of thing would, you know, makes you more attracted to me, right?

39:26 Bonnie Somerville Yes.

39:27 Adam Whatever. I mean, because it factors in.

39:29 Bonnie Somerville You as a puppet.

39:30 Adam Yeah.

39:30 Bonnie Somerville I mean, hot, hot, totally hot.

39:34 Adam All right. Let's keep on keeping on.

39:37 Drew It couldn't hurt tomorrow night if everyone tuned in to the Late Late Show for you, could it?

39:42 Adam No, no, it couldn't. Are you on? Yeah. I'm hosting the Late Late Show for the next three nights, actually. That'd be Wednesday, Thursday, Friday of this week. I'll watch. I'll be filling in. Yeah, is as much as people don't believe it. I'm not a big plugger, my stuff. I'd prefer people not watch.

40:03 Drew Oh, yeah, but it would be good if they could tomorrow. All right.

40:07 Bonnie Somerville So I'll plug it for you.

40:09 Adam I'll be, you know, I'll be doing it tomorrow night, Wednesday night and Thursday night.

40:14 Bonnie Somerville Would you have any good guests?

40:15 Adam No, not really. Let's see. I have.

40:19 Bonnie Somerville I want to do it when you're hosting.

40:21 Adam We have. Well, you might be because I swear to you, I have let's see, Pfeiffer. Who do I have? What the hell's his name? Black actor. Mackay Pfeiffer. It's going to go great tomorrow night when I say what the hell is that black actor's name? Mackay Pfeiffer tomorrow night. And then Mark Knopfler from I guess Dire Straits is going to be on the next night. And then I don't even know. And Mark Knopfler or Knopfler, maybe like the musical guest. I don't know. It doesn't seem like they got any big bookings. You should probably.

41:00 Bonnie Somerville I'm available.

41:01 Adam I'm probably going to go over there, put it, put your name in there.

41:03 Bonnie Somerville My publicist is in the other room if you want to ask her.

41:07 Adam I'll I'll talk that. I'll I'll bring it up tomorrow when I go over there. We'll talk. All right. Let's move ahead and speak to Britney, who's 16. Britney.

41:18 Caller Hey, how you guys doing?

41:19 Adam What's up?

41:20 Caller Um, well, for the past about six months, I've been pretty confused about my sexual orientation, I guess, just because I tend to be into like a lot older guys. At first, I thought that was it. But now I'm kind of into one of my girlfriends, which is kind of freaking me out and throwing me off a little bit. Like, I'll be hanging out with her and having just kind of, you know, sexual feelings towards her. And I thought that I was just into older guys. But now I'm totally confused by it and I don't really know why.

41:56 Drew How old are you?

41:57 Adam She's 16.

41:58 Drew Look, at 16, feelings of intimacy and sexuality can be very, very confused. And you may just feel very close and connected to your girlfriend, and that may sort of bleed into sexual kinds of feelings. But that doesn't mean you have to act on them. Understand? You can just kind of sit back and keep the boundaries clear. I imagine you were what, abandoned or something growing up? What happened?

42:20 Caller Well, when I was growing up, my mom, I think, might have done a little bit of weird stuff to me because not sexually, but she was just really, she teed on my dad a lot and took me with her all the time. Like she was very slutty and I had to go to all the boyfriend's houses every day. Well, I had to come home to my dad and then the abandonment thing, she moved away a year ago from my parents. So she kind of, I think that kind of, from what my parents, what I saw can confuse me a lot.

42:53 Adam Yeah, your mom sounds like a severe drug addict or alcoholic.

42:57 Caller She's bipolar and she's an alcoholic.

43:01 Adam Drew knows.

43:02 Bonnie Somerville Oh, both of you.

43:04 Adam Thank you very much. We're all individuals, though. We can never tell. Everyone's different.

43:11 Drew Everyone's different.

43:11 Adam Everyone's different. Everyone's different. You need creatures. They broke the mold after each and every one of us.

43:17 Drew Each and every one.

43:18 Adam Every one of us.

43:19 Drew Nothing in common.

43:20 Adam Nothing in common. Couldn't tell. All right. So, Brittany, this is a mess. And of course, you're just like the last caller we had. Your sexual compass is spinning around like it's in the devil's triangle.

43:34 Drew Oh, nice reference. Thank you.

43:36 Adam Yeah. Drew misses the devil's triangle. By the way, you know, growing up in the 70s, I thought there was a 50 to 70 percent chance I would be taken by the devil's triangle. Yeah, forget it.

43:49 Drew Nuclear Holocaust was not an issue. It was the devil.

43:51 Adam I was watching. When I grew up, it was everything had to do with the devil's triangle and the devil. And I just figured one of these days, I'm going to be, you know, flying into Bermuda or on a barge and that's it.

44:05 Bonnie Somerville Yeah.

44:06 Adam Swallowed up by the devil's triangle, which mysteriously seems to have gone away now, by the way.

44:11 Bonnie Somerville Nobody talks about it.

44:12 Adam Gone. And you know what?

44:13 Bonnie Somerville They killed it. They used it to death.

44:15 Adam Not only, yeah, they worked it.

44:16 Bonnie Somerville They worked it too much.

44:17 Adam And not only that, I know it was like some land that had been formed too aggressively and now the soil is barren. Yes, Drew?

44:26 Drew Yes, Adam, barren.

44:27 Adam Yeah. That's right. Just repeat the last word of my sentence and we'll be fine.

44:32 Drew Fine.

44:33 Adam There you go.

44:34 Bonnie Somerville You guys are like a real relationship.

44:36 Caller Oh, yeah, we're tight.

44:39 Adam Britney's a mess. Britney needs therapy. Britney's mom's a mess.

44:43 Drew Or maybe Britney needs to cool out. Britney's smart. Britney needs to not act out. Right.

44:47 Adam But as Drew was saying, a woman can have intimate feelings like she can feel close to somebody and can begin to feel sexual toward that person, even if it's the same sex.

44:59 Drew Yeah.

44:59 Adam Yeah. Bonnie, anything? Well, that's usually...

45:02 Drew You're not the same sex, Adam. Oh, yeah.

45:04 Adam Oh, that's right. We're almost the same sex. We're close. We're close. Yeah.

45:10 Bonnie Somerville Well, I...

45:11 Adam We could meet in the middle.

45:12 Bonnie Somerville We could meet in the middle.

45:14 Adam Drew?

45:15 Drew She was begging to be on Killborn. I mean, late, late with you.

45:19 Adam I think they're still calling it Killborn.

45:22 Bonnie Somerville I'm just... I'm just offering up my services.

45:24 Adam No, I...

45:25 Bonnie Somerville Don't want to leave them hanging.

45:27 Adam I'm going to go in there tomorrow morning and I will bring you up because...

45:30 Bonnie Somerville I think you should say, why isn't Bonnie Somerville on the show? That's the question. Why isn't she?

45:36 Adam I don't know that they have guests. I really don't. I mean, they have a guest for tomorrow night. And then after that...

45:43 Bonnie Somerville No, they have guests.

45:45 Adam No, they're supposed to have guests. But I've not...

45:48 Bonnie Somerville Maybe not for you.

45:49 Adam Not for me. That's what I'm saying.

45:51 Caller All right.

45:52 Adam Drew over there in Syracuse, Bonnie Somerville here with me in Los Angeles. We'll take a quick break, we'll be right back after this.

46:02 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up?

46:09 Bonnie Somerville But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

46:17 Caller 877-889-DATE.

46:46 Adam Hey everybody, Love Line. I'm Adam. Yeah.

46:53 Caller As I recall.

46:55 Adam So that's upstate New York, right, Drew?

46:57 Drew We're kind of smack dabbing the middle of New York, yeah. Yeah.

47:00 Adam In the middle of the state, but then where's Manhattan? That's closer. New York City's closer, right?

47:06 Drew Closer to what?

47:08 Adam LA.

47:10 Drew No.

47:11 Adam No? You get to Syracuse? I thought, well, what is it? You can't fly directly into Syracuse?

47:17 Drew No, you can't. We're just closer to the Great Lakes, though.

47:20 Adam Oh, it is. All right. So it's actually physically closer to LA, Syracuse is.

47:25 Drew It's a little bit further north, but a little also a bit, quite a bit further west.

47:30 Adam I'm gonna have to look that up. Get the map on there, engineer Chris.

47:35 Drew Chop chop.

47:37 Adam Bonnie Somerville is here tonight. She knows Syracuse. She grew up in New York somewhere, right? Brooklyn, yeah.

47:43 Bonnie Somerville Brooklyn, very far away from Syracuse, but.

47:46 Adam You know the area.

47:47 Bonnie Somerville I did drive around there looking at schools once.

47:49 Adam Oh, you did? And you went to Boston University?

47:52 Bonnie Somerville College.

47:52 Adam Boston College.

47:53 Bonnie Somerville College.

47:54 Adam Oh, is that one worse than the university?

47:56 Bonnie Somerville No, that one's better.

47:57 Drew Better.

47:58 Bonnie Somerville Much better, thank you. Thank you, too.

48:00 Adam Well, one just has the word university and it sounds la-dee-dah, you know what I'm saying?

48:04 Bonnie Somerville Well, universities, yeah. Yeah, pretty much. College.

48:06 Drew College means the teachers are committed to teaching undergraduate students, which is better.

48:11 Adam College is better than university.

48:13 Bonnie Somerville It's a very hard school to get into, I'd like to add. Really?

48:16 Drew For the most part.

48:17 Bonnie Somerville For the most part.

48:18 Drew Oh, Drew. No, no, for the most part, no, no, no, I was still back at the college statement. For the most part, colleges are a little better.

48:26 Adam I see, so Boston College, not an easy school to get into.

48:30 Bonnie Somerville It's actually, now, I mean, I've obviously been gone a long time, but now it's one of the best schools in the country. I mean, it's really difficult to get in.

48:39 Adam Are those the Golden Eagles?

48:41 Bonnie Somerville Yes, the Eagles, Go Eagles.

48:44 Adam Yeah, they're golden though, right?

48:45 Bonnie Somerville Like I ever went to one athletic event, but Go Eagles.

48:49 Adam Yeah, what'd you do? You just walked around, you were just busy being hot, right?

48:53 Bonnie Somerville Well, it does take a lot of time.

48:55 Adam Especially. It does.

48:57 Bonnie Somerville It takes a lot of effort.

48:59 Adam Now you got to put the Vaseline on your feet.

49:01 Bonnie Somerville It's like the thing with the face and the thing and the hair.

49:03 Adam Yeah. Now it's work.

49:05 Bonnie Somerville Yeah, it's work.

49:06 Adam So you were like what? You were like a thespian over there?

49:09 Bonnie Somerville I was a theater major.

49:12 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah.

49:13 Bonnie Somerville I wasn't really running around with the jocks that much.

49:17 Adam Anybody other than you find any success out of your class, out of your group?

49:22 Bonnie Somerville You know, Chris O'Donnell went to Boston College. He graduated two years before me.

49:27 Adam Mm-hmm. So you remember him? Yeah, sure. Batman or Robin or Boy Wonder, whoever it was. Yeah. Robin and Boy Wonder, same guy. By the way, does he need two names? I mean, it could just be Robin, right? Like, I think it was Robin and Boy Wonder, right?

49:44 Bonnie Somerville Yes.

49:45 Drew Robin and the Boy Wonder.

49:46 Adam How about just Robin?

49:48 Bonnie Somerville But what is Batman?

49:49 Adam Yeah, Batman is just Batman.

49:50 Bonnie Somerville The Man Wonder?

49:51 Adam Yeah, it's not like Batman and the Great Guy. It's just Batman. Think about it, Drew. Yeah, you're right. It's heavy. All right. Let's talk to Ashley, who's been on hold for a whopping 80 minutes. Ashley?

50:06 Caller Yes.

50:07 Adam You're 14?

50:08 Caller Yeah.

50:09 Adam What's up, baby doll?

50:11 Caller I was just wondering if it's normal when you're doing high amounts of math to have hallucinations.

50:18 Drew Just amphetamine you're doing?

50:20 Caller Yeah.

50:21 Drew Well, by the time you're getting hallucinations, that usually comes very, very late in the game. First, you get paranoid, and you start thinking people are talking about you and your family is plotting things against you, and eventually, you will see things. My favorite amphetamine hallucination story is actually Todd Bridges. Remember him?

50:38 Adam Yeah.

50:38 Drew Child actor.

50:39 Adam Back to life.

50:40 Drew Yeah.

50:40 Adam Now, wait a minute. He may have appeared on that show, but what the hell was he on?

50:47 Drew One of those. I don't know. Different strokes. And he did enough speed that he...

50:52 Adam I said it before you. I just screwed it up.

50:55 Drew He became acutely paranoid, and then he began believing his grandmother was trying to kill him. Then he believed that the grandmother had raised his house up 6 inches and built a factory to produce little green men that he kept seeing running across the floor in his bedroom.

51:09 Adam That was a great episode.

51:11 Drew And then he started shooting at them. Then he started firing at them with a gun.

51:14 Bonnie Somerville That was when they jumped the shark.

51:15 Adam Wow.

51:16 Drew And that was when he got arrested because he was running down the street shooting at the green men.

51:19 Adam Yeah.

51:20 Drew And yeah, you can have hallucinations later in the game with speed. It's bad, bad times. And it usually is a sign of brain damage too, because speed does cause free radicals. It's a destroy brain cells.

51:32 Adam Ashley. You're only 14. How long have you been doing the speed?

51:40 Caller Speed, only about a year, but I started doing like inhalants when I was like 10. And then I got into like other drugs.

51:46 Adam Well, well, here's the whole thing. You got to stop kicking the ass out of your brain, because you need it for later. You know what I mean?

51:54 Caller Yeah.

51:55 Adam Driving, simple math, things like that. Can you get yourself some help?

52:00 Caller I've been to rehab twice.

52:03 Drew Well, you may need to spend, you need to spend, believe it or not, 12 to 24 months somewhere. You're going to, you are not going to live through this condition. It's certainly not going to live into adulthood in any kind of condition unless you do something about this.

52:16 Adam Where do you get the money for the meth, by the way? I couldn't buy a goddamn soft taco when I was 14. I didn't have the money. Where do you get it?

52:24 Bonnie Somerville But isn't meth a cheap?

52:26 Drew Pretty cheap, yeah.

52:27 Adam But still, she's 14. What are you doing, Ashley?

52:31 Caller The guys just give it to me for free, usually.

52:34 Drew Why?

52:34 Adam I forgot about that part.

52:36 Caller Yeah, why?

52:37 Bonnie Somerville Nothing's for free.

52:38 Caller Why? I don't know. And my dad bought a bottle of diet pills, and I went through it in like a week.

52:45 Caller All right.

52:47 Adam Are your parents aware of the problem? I know you've been through rehab, but do they know how bad it is?

52:54 Caller No, they think I've been off of it for like six months now.

52:57 Drew Oh, okay. Whoever was treating you at the treatment center, get back with them, please, please, please. This is a bad situation. This is bad.

53:05 Adam Yeah, Ashley. I mean, here's the problem, too. I know you're not so worried about next month or next year, but where do you go ultimately? You're 14. Where are you going to be at 16? I'll tell you where you're going to be. Drew, tell her where she's going to be at 16.

53:23 Drew Where's she going to be?

53:24 Adam I'll tell her she's going to be dead or in jail.

53:27 Drew There you go. Or both dead in jail.

53:30 Adam That's right.

53:32 Drew Which is worse.

53:33 Adam That's right. That's what those mausoleums are. Their actual cells. You guys didn't know that, did you? They keep you in there. Oh, you can't get out.

53:42 Bonnie Somerville No baloney sandwiches in there.

53:43 Adam That's right. So Ashley, get yourself some help, please. You know what you're doing. You're called for a reason, right?

53:49 Caller Yeah, I guess. All right.

53:50 Adam Let's take care of you. Would you?

53:52 Bonnie Somerville Don't do that. Don't do that, Ashley.

53:55 Adam It's just it's just there's no see, I understand like in a way, I understand like people who gamble because it's like, yeah, I know you're telling me I'm going to lose and I know I always end up losing. But you know what? I could hit some I could pick ten of the right football teams this week, hit it in an exact, you know, I could do something good could come of this. The thing about like math, what your chances of having anything work out are really just zero.

54:26 Bonnie Somerville Yeah, your luck is not going to change absolutely zero.

54:30 Adam Yes, you just start picking your skin, you get thrown out of school, you get so paranoid, it just turns into a mess. So there's I understand, like I said, you know, one in ten chance you may hit fine. I understand that sort of blind pursuing of those dreams, but this is zero upon zero upon zero. All right, let's see, I'm just going to talk to whoever's been on the hold the longest.

54:55 Bonnie Somerville Wow, 80 minutes. Who's been on hold the 80 minutes?

54:59 Adam That was Ashley and then we got 69 minutes over here with Tamar. Tamar? You're 25? What's up?

55:11 Caller Well, I'm 25, I've been married to my wife for over a year now. We got together back in 99 and in 2000 she got into a car accident and she contracted RSD as a result.

55:28 Adam Drew, what is that?

55:29 Drew The Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome, which is a pain in the limb usually towards the periphery of the limb.

55:37 Adam Hold on, Drew, hold on, are you a real doctor or just a love doctor?

55:43 Drew How dare you?

55:44 Adam All right, so she's got the RFD? Oh, that one, the other one was where Mayberry took place, right?

55:52 Drew The other one was BFD, yes.

55:55 Adam Everyone I know seems to have BFD disorder, especially when I start talking. All right, so she has it, so is that bad, Drew?

56:03 Drew Well, it's a chronic pain syndrome. Is she on pain meds?

56:07 Caller Yes and no. Like recently, I just got insurance, so like she hasn't been able to get them before and she's been off of them for so long that, you know, she's just used to being off of them.

56:18 Drew Good, that's good.

56:19 Caller Well, I guess because she's been just, you know, constantly, you know, complaining about how this hurts, this hurts, this hurts, and she won't do anything about it. You know, she's one of those type of people that's really strong-willed and...

56:31 Drew That's also good, but what's the question? It's a huge, very complex topic here at RSD, so what are we going to get at?

56:37 Caller Well, okay, like I said, she got RSD in 2000. It's now 2004. She and I, I can literally count on two hands with fingers left over the number of times she and I have attempted to have sex, you know, throughout that time frame. And it's gotten to the point where I feel that, you know, I just don't want to be attracted to her anymore because she's a very attractive woman. It's just I don't want to be because like I'm driving myself crazy.

57:04 Drew It's too painful.

57:06 Bonnie Somerville I'm going to get rejected too much.

57:07 Drew Yeah, exactly.

57:08 Caller That and then, you know, it's like I'm starting to feel guilty because, you know, like the last couple of times, you know, she just kind of like, you know, like laid on the bed, like just like cadaver, you know, and it's like necrophilia is not my thing.

57:21 Drew She's not doing any drugs.

57:22 Bonnie Somerville It's also illegal now.

57:25 Adam So yeah, he's calling from Delaware.

57:27 Bonnie Somerville Yeah.

57:27 Adam Well, yeah, you can get your kicks before the S house burns down. But here we've had to seriously curtail. Me too.

57:36 Bonnie Somerville I mean, I have to. Yeah, they may have to rethink everything that made necrophilia.

57:40 Adam The first thing I had to do is clean out my trunk.

57:42 Bonnie Somerville That's number one and hose it down.

57:45 Adam Number two. So tomorrow I feel bad. She. And I know you want Drew to answer. But first off, it seems like she could probably use a little therapy on top of everything.

57:57 Drew Well, this is she is a complicated case. I promise there's a lot more going on here. Yeah. And the RSD. Right. And a magically as with all chronic pain syndromes, there's a very high incidence of sexual abuse and physical abuse in childhood. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And I feel very strongly that that, you know, the character logic use of pain, the addictive process and pain and the whole whole wiring mechanism during development in the face of trauma affects the way the body tells its tale of woe when she's upset, when she's miserable, it becomes expressed as pain.

58:30 Adam So anytime you put the word syndrome at the end of something, it always means the person didn't start off with the hardiest hand dealt to them. You know, when you show me a person that has something, something, something syndrome, I'll show you a person who was in foster care, was sexually abused, was verbally or physically abused, did something to open up cracks to let this syndrome, as I do my quotations in and he's doing bunny ears.

59:05 Drew I'm doing the bunny ear syndrome and I don't know much about her syndrome, but yeah, here's the thing about it is that because it is in the periphery of a limb, there are lots of mechanical interventions or stimulators and nerve blocks, Adam, like the kind you had basically, sympathetic nerve blocks.

59:23 Adam Oh yeah, looking forward to that.

59:25 Drew Yeah, you had that one. So there are things to be done. In addition, these require multiple disciplines intervening on her behalf and it's a long-term proposition.

59:34 Adam Okay, so here's the thing. If you guys are going to be married and you're going to continue to be married, even though she's suffering from this syndrome, she's going to have to make some effort, unfortunately. And if she's not and she doesn't, I think you're perfectly reasonable to move on.

59:52 Bonnie Somerville It's just sad that you have to live like that without having any intimacy at all. You're 25.

1:00:00 Adam Also, she needs to focus on the abuse of the past and stuff relying on the syndrome du jour of today. Yes. Yes? Yes?

1:00:10 Drew Yes. Yes.

1:00:11 Adam Bonnie, yes? Yes. Yes. Stacey? Yes. There you go. 24. What's up?

1:00:24 Bonnie Somerville Mazel Tov.

1:00:28 Adam He's a 90-year-old. He's a 90-year-old Jew.

1:00:31 Drew He's Hindu.

1:00:32 Bonnie Somerville It was a Brist.

1:00:33 Adam He's Hindu.

1:00:36 Caller And I had a couple of questions. Well, I want to know things like healing time because every time I ask him, he tells me, you know, six weeks, whatever.

1:00:47 Drew We have a question first. Why did he get that done?

1:00:49 Caller I caused an injury about a year and a half ago and since then he's been having infections, getting antibiotics, the infection comes back, infection comes back. Wow.

1:01:00 Drew What, pray tell, did you do?

1:01:02 Adam Garden shears. She won after. Sexual injury.

1:01:07 Caller Yeah. I was a little too rough and torrid. It was his fault. He's the one telling me harder.

1:01:15 Adam A woman of exquisite passion, Drew.

1:01:17 Drew Extreme passion, extreme. Well, that is one of the complications of having a foreskin is that they can tear and once they tear, they sort of stenose down, they narrow and then every time the head of the penis comes out, it narrows, it tears and then narrows more. And yeah, that's a good reason to get it. And you want to know how long he's going to be out of commission?

1:01:35 Caller I'd like to know if there are any psychological things I'm going to have to deal with with him.

1:01:41 Adam You're scaring us. You're really scaring us.

1:01:43 Caller I don't have to worry about him suddenly going limp when he looks down and sees Sky Turtleneck now.

1:01:49 Drew No.

1:01:50 Caller Great.

1:01:50 Bonnie Somerville But it's so much cuter.

1:01:51 Caller I agree.

1:01:53 Bonnie Somerville I mean, it's...

1:01:54 Drew Wait, now really, is there anything that can make a penis cute?

1:01:58 Bonnie Somerville A little turtleneck.

1:01:59 Adam Yeah.

1:01:59 Bonnie Somerville Maybe a hat.

1:02:00 Adam A bow tie.

1:02:01 Bonnie Somerville Maybe a coat. Bowler.

1:02:02 Adam That thing with the sharpies.

1:02:03 Bonnie Somerville Some socks.

1:02:04 Adam And the stick on eyeballs that have... Well, actually, the eyeballs themselves swing around. It's all right. It's all right.

1:02:11 Bonnie Somerville Maybe a mustache.

1:02:12 Adam The balls, there's nothing you can do about it. There's nothing.

1:02:17 Bonnie Somerville Well, you can put some teeny-tiny shoes on them.

1:02:19 Drew The humanity.

1:02:21 Adam They're not enough elbow macaroni glue and gold spray paint in the world.

1:02:27 Bonnie Somerville They're a disaster.

1:02:28 Adam That is a disaster. And, you know, I would ask that you not look at my balls.

1:02:37 Drew When are you asking her? When, Adam?

1:02:40 Bonnie Somerville You're asking me not to.

1:02:41 Drew No, I'm not saying that to Bonnie.

1:02:43 Adam Right now?

1:02:44 Bonnie Somerville If you take them out, I will not look at them.

1:02:45 Adam Thank you.

1:02:46 Drew They're out.

1:02:46 Adam See?

1:02:47 Drew They're impossible to miss. It's Mr. Elastic Square.

1:02:49 Adam They've been out for 45 minutes.

1:02:51 Drew They've been filled the room. It's impossible.

1:02:53 Adam That's what it is. That's right.

1:02:55 Drew No, Adam.

1:02:56 Adam Yes, Drew.

1:02:57 Drew Come on.

1:02:58 Adam They're not out, Drew. Please.

1:03:00 Drew But I mean, the gravity, gravity has affected your scrotum.

1:03:04 Adam Yes. And not in a good way.

1:03:06 Drew No.

1:03:06 Adam I got to be honest. But they never, I never, they're, they never were attractive. And that's what I'm saying.

1:03:11 Drew They just not.

1:03:13 Adam All right. Come on.

1:03:14 Drew Mr. Elastic scrotum.

1:03:15 Adam How old are you? What's going on? Are you a doctor or a pornographer?

1:03:19 Drew Relax.

1:03:19 Adam Silence yourself. How dare you speak of my scrotum this way? The love doctor Stacey is frightening me because first she broke.

1:03:30 Bonnie Somerville She ripped the force.

1:03:31 Adam She broke the guy's penis. And then secondly, she wants to know when it's going to get off the injured reserve. She wants to get back in her. And then is it going to be 100 percent? And is it going to perform up to her satisfaction?

1:03:42 Caller She wants it now. Damn it. Yeah.

1:03:45 Adam What is up? I mean, first off, you guys just had a procedure and I, you know, it's easy enough to laugh about because, oh, he's 25, you had a circumcision. This is probably a pretty bad day for him. You know what I'm saying? This is at least a bad trip to the dentist. At least. How about a little sympathy? Stacey?

1:04:11 Drew Bad times.

1:04:13 Adam Wow.

1:04:14 Bonnie Somerville She's violent.

1:04:16 Adam The part I like, too, is like, look, you guys don't seem like you like each other much. Oh, no, we love each other deeply. That's the part I like.

1:04:22 Bonnie Somerville We're engaged.

1:04:24 Drew Stacey, we can't bring up we're engaged.

1:04:26 Adam Stacey. Where's your dad? Yeah. God, do I hate you, Stacey. What are you so angry about? What makes you so bitchy?

1:04:43 Bonnie Somerville Not even one laugh.

1:04:45 Adam What happened to you?

1:04:45 Drew I think it's her bad phone line that pisses her off.

1:04:48 Caller In all honesty, this has just been a really long-standing issue with us because we're constantly arguing about it. I tell him to go to the doctor. He doesn't listen to me. He finally listens to me.

1:04:57 Adam All right. But I'm more interested in why you're so angry and why your phone line is so bad. Yeah.

1:05:03 Caller All right.

1:05:06 Adam All right. Oh, wow.

1:05:07 Bonnie Somerville Wow. You were holding for...

1:05:08 Adam Does anyone... She was on hold for 37 minutes.

1:05:12 Bonnie Somerville Oh, only 37 minutes at a pay phone.

1:05:14 Adam Well, I didn't know people... I thought you had... I thought that pay phones were only for drugs.

1:05:19 Bonnie Somerville Do they still make those?

1:05:21 Adam No, they're marked clearly. Only for drug transactions. Yeah. I don't even know...

1:05:26 Bonnie Somerville Only for drugs, transactions or when you get arrested.

1:05:30 Adam Who uses a pay... Once in a while, you have to beat a guy with the receiver. But other than that, I don't even know what they're good for, anyone.

1:05:36 Bonnie Somerville They still make those.

1:05:38 Adam Stacey, you're angry. And I know you have history with this guy and I don't know what's going on with Stacey other than she's angry. I feel it. And Drew, you feel it and something is going on. And boy, do I feel sorry for this guy and his penis.

1:05:55 Bonnie Somerville And his balls.

1:05:56 Adam And his balls too.

1:05:57 Bonnie Somerville I feel sorry for his balls, to be honest.

1:05:59 Adam It's true. Penis and balls.

1:06:01 Drew Put that on a loop, please, Anderson.

1:06:04 Adam All right, let's talk to Tony, who's 26. Tony? Hello? Oh, Tony. Calling from Riverside.

1:06:14 Drew Oh. Not a lot of nice color in the trees out there, huh?

1:06:18 Adam Riverside, Syracuse, all the same this time of year. What's up, Tony?

1:06:23 Caller Yeah, I just wanted to call and I just wanted to ask, well, me and my wife, we had a problem. She cheated on me. And now that we're back together and everything's all cool, I want to make, you know, have good sex. And I'm coming too quick. So I wanted to see if there's anything that could fix the problem.

1:06:50 Adam Did you forgive her for cheating?

1:06:54 Caller Yes, I did.

1:06:55 Adam And why did she cheat?

1:06:56 Caller I don't know why she cheated. She said that I wasn't romantic enough with her and that I wasn't paying attention to her needs.

1:07:08 Drew There's not the story.

1:07:13 Adam Although, still not going to make me pay attention to my wife's needs, by the way.

1:07:17 Bonnie Somerville Actually, that's going to make you pay less attention.

1:07:19 Adam Yeah. Now I'm going to compensate in the other direction. Hey, Tony, do you guys have kids?

1:07:26 Caller Yes, we have a daughter.

1:07:27 Adam You have a daughter. All right. And your wife, is she OK? I worry a little about her.

1:07:35 Caller What do you mean by OK?

1:07:36 Adam Well, I don't know. Her background. Was she abused?

1:07:40 Caller No.

1:07:41 Adam She just thought it was a good idea to cheat on her sort of newlywed husband. Although, I don't know when you guys got married. How long have you been?

1:07:51 Caller One year.

1:07:52 Caller One year.

1:07:53 Adam Yeah, that's pretty early cheating.

1:07:57 Bonnie Somerville But cheating is the symptom, right, Drew? Is that true?

1:08:00 Drew Well, women cheat.

1:08:01 Bonnie Somerville Cheating is a symptom of a problem?

1:08:03 Drew But cheating, women cheat when men, exactly what she told them, when men are not getting the emotional needs met, when they're not available for the relationship, that's when they cheat. Men cheat because they can.

1:08:13 Adam Yeah.

1:08:14 Drew Quite literally.

1:08:15 Adam Or because we think we can.

1:08:17 Bonnie Somerville But some women cheat, though, just because they can.

1:08:21 Drew Well, those tend to be the view survivors. Yeah, those tend to be either bipolar or abuse survivors. They don't get that much out of cheating. It's not that satisfying to them, so they're not as inclined to.

1:08:30 Adam Something happened when they were in Canada filming without a paddle. Oh, New Zealand. Seth Green is actually in her now. Oh.

1:08:41 Bonnie Somerville He actually is standing here.

1:08:42 Drew You could lose him.

1:08:45 Adam When she was walking out, the pneumatic door closed and hit her in the ass and Seth fell out.

1:08:50 Bonnie Somerville He fell out on the floor.

1:08:52 Adam And he scurried away. He was like, all right.

1:08:54 Bonnie Somerville It's actually under here.

1:08:55 Drew Yeah.

1:08:55 Adam It went under the fridge in the jock lounge. I'm going to try to I'm going to try to coax him out with some skittles during the break. I didn't want to say anything. All right.

1:09:04 Bonnie Somerville Cue the running. All right.

1:09:06 Adam Yeah. Cue the feet running.

1:09:09 Bonnie Somerville That was me.

1:09:10 Adam Here's the thing about Anderson. Anderson came to the studio.

1:09:13 Bonnie Somerville That was me. Did you like that?

1:09:15 Adam I was good. Do it again. There's two people that cue Anderson, Anderson and Anderson.

1:09:20 Bonnie Somerville I think I have a job here.

1:09:22 Drew I'm not a seal.

1:09:23 Adam He's not a seal.

1:09:24 Drew He can't be pushed around. Come on now.

1:09:26 Adam No, no. He only puts 175 drops in a show. You can't tell him to do 176. That's the sound that's sent. Thanks for having my back.

1:09:36 Bonnie Somerville Thanks for helping me with that joke.

1:09:43 Adam Yes, you didn't cater to her. You didn't do it for her. You didn't do it for her. You didn't do it for her. You didn't do it for her. You didn't do it for her. You didn't do it for her. You didn't do it for her. Let's listen to a marriage with a kid cheating very, very bad.

1:10:01 Drew Bad sign.

1:10:01 Adam Yeah. And so as far as your premature ejaculation, I'll tell you what, I don't know how to add time on to it, but I can tell you this.

1:10:13 Drew But I can masturbate before.

1:10:14 Adam You can masturbate before, but if you want to give your wife more pleasure, give her some more sex.

1:10:19 Bonnie Somerville But doesn't that also nerves too? Because now he probably feels so much pressure because she went out with someone else that now every time he's about to do it, he's like so nervous.

1:10:27 Drew No, he's angry.

1:10:31 Adam Don't have any more kids for a little while. Make sure the dust from this cheating settles. And then again, give her some more sex because the meter in the sex cab gets flipped to the right when you begin the oral.

1:10:47 Bonnie Somerville You don't stop, right?

1:10:47 Adam I'm on the clock.

1:10:48 Bonnie Somerville Do you stop in between and do that?

1:10:50 Adam Now, I'm saying when I begin oral, that's when the... That's when the sex begins. That's when the clock starts ticking. The credit.

1:10:57 Bonnie Somerville For her or for you?

1:10:58 Adam For her or for you? For God.

1:11:00 Bonnie Somerville For God.

1:11:02 Adam What I'm saying is that's how it goes down in the books. So what I mean is I give you a solid 15 minutes of oral and then five minutes of intercourse. That's a 20 minute session. You see what I'm saying?

1:11:15 Bonnie Somerville I see.

1:11:15 Adam That's how I count it. And you know, you have to count it that way too.

1:11:20 Drew Because you said so.

1:11:22 Adam That's what I said. Because I know I think I think most women and maybe not Bonnie because she may be a passionate woman like you're passionate man. Well, most women would appreciate passionate but not violent like the last girl, a little more oral and a little less humping.

1:11:38 Drew Well, but unless they're multi-orgasmic, in which case the oral isn't so good.

1:11:47 Adam That's right. True. You're lucky. Yeah, this is good. We got to take a break, but we're coming back. Oh, yeah. I'm going to go dip myself, I'm going to go dunk myself in the latrine and try to cool my passion. Drew, we're going to come back with Bonnie Somerville and I think you may have met your passion match. We'll be right back after this. Bye Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:12:32 Drew I'm Adam.

1:12:32 Adam That's Dr. Drew in Syracuse. Chris, you look at the map, find out if Syracuse was further than New York City or closer.

1:12:41 Drew What county is it in?

1:12:42 Caller Well, I have a map of here.

1:12:44 Adam All right, it's in New York state.

1:12:46 Drew It's right in the middle of New York state.

1:12:48 Adam You'll find it.

1:12:50 Drew Are you looking at California?

1:12:52 Bonnie Somerville It's in Orange County.

1:12:53 Adam I think it may be. Yeah, buddy. You got it, you got it. No, keep, now you're in Arizona.

1:12:57 Caller Is it Riverside County?

1:12:58 Adam Got to keep rolling, buddy. Watching your couch. Bonnie Somerville is here tonight. Bonnie's becoming a dear, dear, dear friend of the show.

1:13:07 Caller Thank you.

1:13:09 Adam Graduate of Boston College, by the way.

1:13:11 Drew Which, by the way, I'm looking up the college ranking. She's right, it's way up there now, by the way.

1:13:16 Bonnie Somerville I'm not kidding.

1:13:17 Adam No, back, you know, when Bonnie went, they'd let anyone in. But yeah, she's sharp.

1:13:22 Bonnie Somerville I'm sharp.

1:13:22 Adam Sharp, beautiful, tall and passionate, Drew.

1:13:26 Drew I'm getting that. It's interesting, women that have multiple orgasms don't understand why other women have difficulty having orgasms and why they would choose, seriously, and why they would choose to have oral sex. Like, that's all right, but it's kind of like me with oral sex, Adam.

1:13:41 Adam Yeah.

1:13:41 Bonnie Somerville Really, but I never thought, I never think of it like that. Like, eh, I mean, it never even, you know, it's not that I diss little oral sex. I'm not dissing it.

1:13:50 Drew But most women can only orgasm with oral sex and that's it.

1:13:53 Bonnie Somerville But I have said things like that in front of girlfriends and they've said exactly what you're saying. Well, Bonnie, that's because you're multi-O. You can, you know, have the O lying down and doing, you know, sex.

1:14:08 Adam Oh, man. What a, what a boost to my ego you would be.

1:14:12 Drew In Adam's series, he's done some research.

1:14:15 Adam I've been like, humping kayaks my whole life.

1:14:19 Caller Like, really, nothing.

1:14:21 Adam Canoe shells. I might as well be on top of a camper shell. I get, nothing, I get a little fiberglass burn. That's it.

1:14:32 Drew Nothing.

1:14:33 Adam Do you know, you know what it feels like for a man? I mean, you know, to be, that sort of conquest, to give a woman an orgasm while you're having intercourse with her, especially when it's not one of those weirdo positions and she doesn't have like five vibrators out. It really makes you feel good. I could only, I could only imagine.

1:14:50 Drew What you mean to say is it must make you feel good.

1:14:52 Adam It must make one feel good.

1:14:54 Bonnie Somerville Yes.

1:14:55 Adam It really must.

1:14:56 Bonnie Somerville Well, it's, it's really a public service that I'm doing. It's a, it's a duty.

1:14:59 Adam Yeah.

1:15:00 Caller Yeah.

1:15:00 Adam I can only imagine what that must be like. Oh, wow.

1:15:05 Drew What?

1:15:06 Adam That was just the phone line.

1:15:08 Caller Like, wow.

1:15:09 Adam God had struck the phone line with lightning. Drew.

1:15:13 Drew Didn't hear it.

1:15:14 Adam Wow. Was it disturbing? I'm now going to take my headphones and our cans, as we call them in the business.

1:15:20 Bonnie Somerville That was Jesus. He's angry at me.

1:15:21 Adam He messed it up. All right, so Bonnie Somerville, NYPD Blue, ABC, 10 o'clock, Tuesday nights, multi-orgasmic.

1:15:30 Bonnie Somerville And don't forget that Adam is hosting the Late Late Show.

1:15:33 Adam That's right.

1:15:34 Bonnie Somerville For the next three nights.

1:15:36 Adam Bonnie may be on for the three nights.

1:15:38 Bonnie Somerville And Crank Yanker started tonight.

1:15:39 Adam Yeah, Crank Yanker's, everybody.

1:15:41 Bonnie Somerville Yeah.

1:15:42 Adam Go out and get that DVD.

1:15:43 Bonnie Somerville I'm getting it.

1:15:44 Adam All right. We will... I got something here that says take. So, I'm going to take this one.

1:15:51 Yeah, this is Julie.

1:15:52 Adam 26.

1:15:53 Hey, Adam.

1:15:53 Adam What's up?

1:15:54 How are you doing?

1:15:56 Adam Good. You sound nutty.

1:15:59 Drew But chipper.

1:16:00 Adam Chipper, nutty. We like that.

1:16:02 Caller You can call us if you will. Basically, I was just calling to respond to a woman that called last night. You had a 26-year-old lawyer. She was meeting her boss.

1:16:17 Adam Yes. Who's 40 and married. Yes.

1:16:20 Caller Exactly. Well, I'm calling just because I actually myself am a professional woman by day. I work as a psychotherapist. At night, I have another profession. I work as a call girl.

1:16:31 Bonnie Somerville I thought you were going to say superhero.

1:16:34 Caller Something like that. Super call girl.

1:16:37 Drew What is your training? Wait a minute here. What is your training for psychotherapy?

1:16:42 Caller I see the lights going off on Drew's little brain there.

1:16:46 Drew What is your training for psychotherapy?

1:16:48 Caller I have a master's in clinical psych.

1:16:51 Drew And what kind of clinical training have you done?

1:16:54 Caller What kind of clinical training? I actually worked. I did many internships. I went to Marquette University in the Midwest.

1:17:04 Drew I mean in California you need several thousand hours of clinical after your PhD or your society in order to be able to be a therapist.

1:17:11 Caller Right, but I'm not at a PhD or a PhD level. I have a master's and basically what I'm doing is I do group therapy with teenagers. I do a lot of work with autistic children. And most of my clinical hours were put in doing work with autistic children for the most part.

1:17:27 Drew What are the requirements?

1:17:28 Adam By the way, the autistic kids is kind of cool because they're never going to go like, look, you're a subpar therapist. I've been working with this piece of clay and stuffing crayon into it for over a year now. I'm going to have to move on. My needs are not being met. And by the way, it starts off, you know, you picture her sitting there in Beverly Hills looking at high powered clients all day and then being a call girl at night. It's a little more her volunteering at the Y.

1:17:58 Drew Well, be that as it may, you can't be taking care of patients and be committing crimes. Those two things don't go together.

1:18:05 Adam Well, Drew, it's only crime because of the man.

1:18:07 Bonnie Somerville The autistic patients are during the day.

1:18:08 Drew Yeah, but you can't do that. You can't be a criminal and maintain a license.

1:18:13 Adam Maybe she has sex with the autistic patients at night.

1:18:17 Bonnie Somerville See, I let you actually say that.

1:18:19 Adam I know you did.

1:18:22 Drew The problem with all this is there's some very, very serious boundary problems here. And the simplest way to look at it is being a criminal and being a clinical caretaker.

1:18:31 Adam That's not judged.

1:18:32 That's a simple boundary to look at.

1:18:34 Adam That's the man that made it a crime. Do you understand?

1:18:37 Bonnie Somerville Crime doesn't pay.

1:18:38 Adam Yes. Drew, you drive faster than the posted speed limit most all the time.

1:18:43 Drew Do you not? Not anymore.

1:18:46 Adam But you used to after getting all the tickets. Well, how can you be a doctor and break the law? Aha! Touché! Touché, I say. Touché turtle. Touché away. Julie?

1:19:00 Caller Yeah, I'm still here.

1:19:02 Bonnie Somerville So she's waiting for you guys to stop.

1:19:05 Caller I can understand Dr. Drew's reaction and I was sort of I've been intrigued to call for a long time based on trying to get his perspective on it. I mean, the natural thing that comes to my mind as a therapist and a criminal is is there some bipolarity? Am I going through some sort of hypomanic episode?

1:19:20 Drew Yeah, you've got a lot. You shouldn't be taking care of patients. That's so very, very clear. Whatever you want to do with your life, that's up to you. But you have a certain modicum of health that you must be able to sustain and of good legal standing in order to be in the position of being responsible for people's health and well-being. And that's it. Whatever you want to do beyond that is up to you.

1:19:44 Caller Right, but the legality issues, I mean, there are places where it's legal.

1:19:48 Drew No, no, no. Not legal. It's there to protect the patients. That's why the laws are put in place. That's why we have the standards we have.

1:19:57 Adam You're not having sex with the patients.

1:19:58 Drew Absolutely not. No, you don't.

1:20:02 Caller And I don't let the two aspects of my life tie together.

1:20:05 Adam Hold on a second. First off, didn't you ever see that movie from the 80s Angel where she was an honor roll student by day and a Hollywood hooker at night?

1:20:15 Bonnie Somerville You know, if someone was just talking about that at work the other day, the movie poster, she had a Catholic school uniform on, remember?

1:20:22 Adam Split in half.

1:20:22 Bonnie Somerville Split in half. And then she had her suit on.

1:20:24 Adam It was very obvious.

1:20:25 Bonnie Somerville With her blazer open and a bra.

1:20:27 Adam It was very easy for her to live the double life, Drew.

1:20:31 Bonnie Somerville And glasses.

1:20:32 Adam All right, now hold on. Let me do the talking. Hold on, Drew. She's not having sex with her patients.

1:20:37 Drew Adam.

1:20:38 Adam You understand that?

1:20:39 Drew What if she religiously just, what if she's robbing banks?

1:20:41 Adam Hmm.

1:20:42 Drew Even sexier.

1:20:43 Adam Is she doing therapy in robbing banks or is she stripping in robbing banks?

1:20:47 Drew Yeah, but the point is that there are standards that clinicians have to maintain that is there to protect the public. And if you can't maintain those standards, then you shouldn't be doing the public service.

1:20:57 Adam I know, but here's the reality, Drew. Many, many therapists especially are nut jobs.

1:21:04 Drew Not like this.

1:21:05 Adam Maybe not like this, but it attracts.

1:21:08 Drew And by the way, let's remember that she's she's wanting. Gee, am I bipolar manic? Listen, if you're an uncontrolled bipolar manic that is engaging in behaviors that are impulsive and dangerous, you shouldn't be taking care of patients. Very simple. Even if you're thinking you might be that patient, you shouldn't be taking care of people. So there you go. Take your light coma, Adam, light coma even.

1:21:28 Adam Take your judgment hat off for a second and put on your party hat, okay?

1:21:35 Drew Which one? The one, the fedora?

1:21:37 Bonnie Somerville Put on your doctor by day.

1:21:38 Adam No, the pointy one.

1:21:39 Drew The fedora or the pointy one with the little thing that you blow on?

1:21:42 Adam The paper pointy one with the elastic strap that goes under your chin. Okay, Julie.

1:21:46 Caller Yes.

1:21:48 Adam How many clients would you say you see a week in the evening? In the evening?

1:21:52 Caller I probably work three days a week and I probably see three clients. In that time, like three per day.

1:21:58 Adam And you have sex with them?

1:22:00 Caller Yes.

1:22:01 Adam And how much money do you make?

1:22:05 Caller I'm getting by. I just wanted to say to Drew as well, because of my inclination towards being a very sexual person, that was the reason I had questioned, you know, is that this is a very typical bipolar behavior. I didn't question whether I was. I'm not bipolar. I don't have any sort of mental deficit. I've just made a choice in my life.

1:22:28 Adam Yeah. Here's what's going on, Julie, because Drew's got his party hat on, and now he can't talk, but I'm going to speak for him, because Drew's the man, and people don't want to listen to Drew, but what people don't realize is I'm smarter, Drew. So you need to listen to me. Here's the thing. First off, you're calling because there's a part of you that doesn't feel like it's okay, otherwise you wouldn't be calling, trying to get Drew's blessing and rationalize it away. There's your smart person, obviously you're intellectual, and you have the capacity to understand that what you're doing is wrong. But then you end up using your IQ to talk yourself out of it with the very sexual person nonsense and all these other smoke screens. So your intellect is what's actually enabling you to go on with this lifestyle because you're talking your way around it, and you're just BSing yourself. You know there's a part of you that's sick and that shouldn't be doing this, and I think you understand that, and maybe that part is just emerging, and maybe you're not going to be ready to listen to it for a few more years. Thank you. That's enough.

1:23:32 Drew Yeah.

1:23:33 Adam I end with me being insightful. And again, she's...

1:23:35 Bonnie Somerville Always go out on an insightful...

1:23:38 Drew If you want to know the character disturbance here, she starts up with, I think I may be bipolar, because this is such bipolar behavior. And then she describes the behavior and goes, well, that couldn't possibly be me. I just told you, it's not me. Well, it's like, okay, that's all distortions. That's all blaming outside of the self, not taking responses. It's all character stuff.

1:23:58 Adam And again, you're a very sexual girl or has a good life and career.

1:24:02 Bonnie Somerville Isn't that kind of like a sociopath who takes themselves out of the situation and completely justifies it?

1:24:07 Drew It's more borderline. It's more borderline behavior. It's a sociopath. Yeah, they do justify and they can't take responsibility for anything. Right. Right.

1:24:14 Adam And she has an answer. She's an educated woman. So every time you throw something at her, she is, you know, she listens and she's diplomatic. And she says, well, Adam, I've heard what you have to say. But then, psycho babble, psycho babble, psycho babble, I'm going to blow a Japanese businessman.

1:24:32 Bonnie Somerville But what about all the dancers that have to, and I say dancers with the bunny ears that are putting themselves through school by working at night and getting a degree in psychology.

1:24:45 Adam And by the way, their schools cost four dollars a unit. They're not, it's not, they're not putting themselves through Princeton or Brown.

1:24:53 Bonnie Somerville No, they're going in with two hundred dollar bill singles paying for the, paying for the class.

1:24:59 Adam They say putting themselves through school, what they're really doing is just going to junior college, doing a little blow and not really wanting to work too much. All right, let's take a little break. Bonnie Somerville here tonight of NYPD Blue fame, Tuesday nights, ABC, 10 o'clock. Also without a panel, the AIM Theaters as we speak. Take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah, get it on, everybody. Bonnie Somerville here tonight. Breath of blonde fresh air, Drew.

1:26:01 Bonnie Somerville Thank you.

1:26:02 Adam Passionate, passionate woman as well, and understands quality. Oh. I got to say that. She likes you.

1:26:10 Bonnie Somerville Yes.

1:26:12 Adam She appreciates me.

1:26:13 Bonnie Somerville Crank Yankers, which started tonight.

1:26:14 Adam Loves Crank Yankers, loves Loveline, loves it all.

1:26:21 Bonnie Somerville I used to watch you guys on MTV.

1:26:23 Adam Used to watch us guys on MTV.

1:26:25 Bonnie Somerville On Boston College.

1:26:26 Adam Boston College watching Drew and Adam on MTV. Thinking one day, I'm going to be on that nappy headed guy's radio show. God willing.

1:26:35 Bonnie Somerville On his radio show. That was a good ending to that sentence.

1:26:41 Adam Oh, sexual. Do you hear that, Drew?

1:26:43 Drew Passion. It's making me feel a little weird.

1:26:46 Adam I got to say, I'm intimidated by Bonnie's passion.

1:26:50 Drew I can tell.

1:26:51 Adam Do you know what I'm saying?

1:26:52 Drew Yeah, because I imagine.

1:26:54 Adam There's a part of me that would like to step into the ring with her, but another part that just thinks, no, I can't compete with that kind of passion. That's smart. Now I'm horny again. Drew, though, who has not lost a passion step, would gladly put the gloves on and enter the passion ring.

1:27:18 Drew In my day.

1:27:19 Adam Back in the day. Back when he was single. Back when he was single.

1:27:23 Bonnie Somerville Do you have triplets?

1:27:24 Drew I do. Twelve years old, almost 12.

1:27:28 Adam Almost 12. Yeah. And that's the passion legacies is going to be.

1:27:34 Bonnie Somerville He talked about passion.

1:27:35 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

1:27:37 Adam All right, Drew. Drew's passionate about his passion. Sarah?

1:27:43 Yeah.

1:27:44 Adam You're 26?

1:27:45 Caller Yes, I am.

1:27:46 Adam What's up?

1:27:47 Caller Well, I was listening to the 16-year-old earlier talk about her mom, how her mom went and had affairs and took her with her. Well, I had that happen both with my mom and my aunt. Actually, my question, let's get back around to that in a minute, is I had no boundaries my whole life and I'm just learning. I actually didn't even know what they were. Yeah. And he was talking about boundaries and I felt really stupid, but I said it. I said, what are boundaries? It's amazing. Well, I was very promiscuous. I don't even know how many men I've slept with. And I was just wondering, how do I know who to sleep with, because I'm very sexual.

1:28:32 Drew Maybe just take some time out. You'll begin to be attracted to and to attract a whole different kind of person once your therapy gets underway.

1:28:39 Caller Well, I hadn't had sex in nine months and then this guy just recently, obviously a player because I was so stupid. I said, are you a player? Like, he's going to answer.

1:28:49 Drew Yeah. Well, here's a way you can judge it. If you're super attracted to the guy, that's the guy you shouldn't be with.

1:28:56 Caller Oh, that sucks.

1:28:58 Drew I know. So you get a little more therapy. A little more therapy and then you'll start getting attracted to people that are actually healthy.

1:29:04 Caller Well, I was with the guy for six and a half years. It was very healthy. An engineer.

1:29:08 Drew You drove him crazy though.

1:29:09 Caller There was no, yeah. Like I was the wild one.

1:29:12 Drew I'm sure you did.

1:29:13 Caller And he would go, do you want to have sex? And I'd be like, no. What are you doing? I mean, he wouldn't just take me or, you know, be aggressive about it.

1:29:23 Adam All right.

1:29:24 Drew She'd have to cheat on him to make up for it.

1:29:26 Adam Yeah, of course. Because if he's a good guy, you're not going to be able to tolerate that. I know you loved him, but you love chaos more. So.

1:29:38 Drew You're doing something bad at least.

1:29:39 Bonnie Somerville Yeah. Yeah, you're in therapy.

1:29:41 Adam You're in therapy, but you sound like you're 15. I mean, you've seen a lot. You've been through a lot. Just trust the process a little bit. Let yourself go, Sarah.

1:29:49 Caller Stop clinging to the old.

1:29:51 Bonnie Somerville No, don't tell her to let herself go. That's what got her in trouble.

1:29:54 Caller So I'm trying to get over that whole addiction thing, I guess.

1:29:57 Drew You're an addict? What are you addicted to?

1:30:01 Caller Coke.

1:30:02 Drew And you're in a program now for addiction?

1:30:03 Caller Yes.

1:30:06 Drew Well, no, wait a minute. You have a sponsor?

1:30:09 Caller I'm in a cognitive, cognitive... Cognitive behavioral?

1:30:13 Drew Yeah, not an AA thing. I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor.

1:30:21 Caller I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor.

1:30:24 Drew I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor.

1:30:43 Adam What do they call that, molting? What do they call that when the snake sheds its skin? There's a good name for it. Come on, you college people. There's a good name, like I think snakes when they get out of their skin, and like tarantulas, is that it?

1:31:01 Drew I'll try to find it before we're back.

1:31:02 Adam Oh, molting was what I said, so is that what it is?

1:31:06 Bonnie Somerville I know what you said.

1:31:09 Adam Yeah, I mean, that's what you're doing. It's kind of painful, and you don't want to leave the old skin behind, but you got to just leave it, leave it behind.

1:31:15 Bonnie Somerville And it takes a lot of work to change. It's hard work.

1:31:18 Adam I know, and it's scary, and you don't want to do it, and you want to cling, so go to CA please. All right, let's just, I got to take a break here, but real fast, like Amber. Hi. Been on hold for 60 minutes. Current boyfriend won't stay hard during sex. Why? Is it your fault? First time ever? No, it is not your fault. And if it doesn't stay hard while he's actually having intercourse with you, that's really not your fault.

1:31:47 Caller No.

1:31:47 Adam I mean, that's seriously his fault, and that could be drugs, it could be medication, it could be a million things. It could be biological, it could be something pharmacological. You should just talk to him, but do not blame yourself.

1:31:59 Caller All right, we will take a quick break.

1:32:02 Adam Drew, you want to just go, get out of here.

1:32:03 Drew No, I'm looking at molting. I'm looking at molting.

1:32:05 Adam All right, we'll be right back after this. You know, Drew, smelling good is more than a smell. It's an attitude.

1:32:15 Drew That's true, Adam.

1:32:16 Adam It is?

1:32:17 Drew I know how to get that attitude, too.

1:32:19 Bonnie Somerville How?

1:32:19 Adam Breakdown?

1:32:54 Drew Thanks for watching! I want to thank Bonnie Somerville for coming in here tonight.

1:32:56 Bonnie Somerville Thank you. Now, dear, dear friend of the show.

1:32:56 Caller Thank you.

1:32:56 Adam NYPD Blue, Tuesday nights, 10 o'clock on ABC, 12th big season, also without a paddle.

1:32:57 Caller Molting, Adam, molting. It is molting.

1:32:57 Drew Yes.

1:32:58 Adam Well, that's what I said, right? Yeah, you're right. And watch Adam on the Late Late Show.

1:32:58 Bonnie Somerville Yes, everybody tune in then.

1:32:59 Caller Three nights.

1:32:59 Adam Three big nights. Three big ones. Maybe you'll see Bonnie there and possibly Drew in it.

1:33:02 Bonnie Somerville He might see me in person.

1:33:03 Adam I see like cut to Friday night. Engineer Chris, what's it like working with me? What would you? Because I need to, you know. I'm there, man. You're there? All right, buddy. Get yourself a little haircut. We'll take a extendo 22-hour break and we'll have a puddle of mud in here tomorrow night. We're going to take calls from Iraq. Mud was just in Iraq doing a USO thing. And now we're going to take calls from the soldiers in Iraq for us. Very cool. So I drew by. So I'll tell you until. Oh, Drew.

1:33:38 Caller Yes.

1:33:39 Adam But I'm telling you, she could have broke up your marriage.

1:33:42 Caller She really.

1:33:42 Bonnie Somerville Oh, no.

1:33:43 Adam She could have. She could have. So until next time. I'm Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:33:48 Bonnie Somerville Feel sorry for his balls to be honest.

1:33:53 Caller Loveline.

1:33:56 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, October 5, 2004