Episode 1000648606341

5:00 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

5:04 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

5:07 Voiceover Sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

5:23 Voiceover Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist, Bryan Herta and Dan Wheldon are both here tonight from the Toad Indy 400, which is going on this Sunday in Fontana at the California Speedway in Fontana. I think I went two years ago, maybe.

5:46 Drew This is the third one?

5:49 Adam Well, it's confusing and I have to apologize, but I do this every time these guys come on. I get all screwed up with CART and Indy and IRL and everyone's angry at everybody. And it's starting to turn into boxing and with like WBO and WBC and IBF. It's confusing to the consumer. Well, no, I'll take to the casual fan. I like motor racing, but I can't figure out. I figure out the Grand Prix cars, and then after that they start looking like Indy cars. Which is good, right? Or bad?

6:25 Guest Ours all you have to remember is Indy. Indy 500, Indy cars.

6:29 Adam Right. And does this... The Indy 500 is coming up, right?

6:35 Guest Next May. Right around the corner.

6:38 Adam Oh, you're right. Somebody asked me to... Oh, you know what it is? I was asked by some Indy thing organization to do some cruise. Where they... You know you've... And by the way, here's the thing.

6:50 Drew Oh, you've arrived.

6:50 Adam Here's the thing. No, as a person, when they give you a free cruise and they want you to do this or that, you've arrived. As an entertainer, you're in the toilet.

6:59 Caller You know what I mean?

7:01 Adam Like, think about it for a second. As an entertainer, that's a bad sign. As a non-entertainer, it's a gift and it's a great thing. It means to pack the bags. We don't have to talk. But as an entertainer, it's a bad thing. They want me to hand out trophies on a boat. That's basically what happened. But I think... You're going, right? Yeah, of course. I have to. But, alright, anyway. We'll get into that later. That's right. Just had the Indy 500. Alright, so I got confused. But let's push forward here. First off, Bryan, do you know the size of the engine that's in your car?

7:37 Guest Three liters.

7:38 Adam Three liters.

7:38 Guest Three liters.

7:39 Adam And everybody runs the same motor, right?

7:42 Guest Same size. Same size. And see, there you go. Dumb it down for you. And you know, displace it. That's correct.

7:49 Adam Yes. And you get to... Well, dumb it down for Drew. And... But do the... Now, what... See, because the rules change from racing league to racing league, does it need to be the same number of cylinders?

8:02 Guest Yes. It's pretty... The rules are pretty specific. I mean, it's...

8:06 Adam So, the three-liter V8?

8:07 Guest Yeah, like we run Honda engines. There's a couple manufacturers, but the rules are such that all the engines are very, very close. Not identical, but close.

8:16 Adam What's the fastest track in the circuit?

8:19 Guest Probably, probably Indy. I would say it's the quickest one, yeah, but California is pretty quick.

8:23 Adam Maybe here.

8:24 Guest Maybe here.

8:24 Guest Yeah.

8:26 Adam I've not been to India. I've been to California.

8:29 Guest It's one of the... It's what they call a super speedway. We do three. Indy here and the one in Michigan. So, those would be our three fastest tracks.

8:36 Adam What size is the Indianapolis 500?

8:39 Guest Two and a half miles.

8:40 Adam Two and a half. So, is that the biggest?

8:43 Guest That's the biggest track.

8:44 Adam So, what are the speeds going to be like on Sunday?

8:47 Guest I reckon probably we'll average around 217.

8:52 Adam 217.

8:54 Guest That's what they've slowed us down a little bit to try and... Just to make it a little bit more safe as well. So, that's at the reduced speed. It's going to be a good, good exciting way.

9:04 Drew How much safer is it 250 versus 220? You know what I mean? What?

9:07 Adam Well, 10% or whatever it works out to be.

9:12 Drew I mean, if you decelerate from 240 to 0, 220 to 0 is safe.

9:16 Adam Oh, well, yeah. But you're picturing, you know, running into like an earth mover or something. This is rolling. They're only going to roll 14 times as opposed to 17 times. You see, Drew?

9:27 Guest It still takes us a mile to decelerate.

9:29 Adam So, got to look at it that way. Well, you know the thing, you know what I was thinking?

9:36 Drew Not even spoken.

9:36 Adam Come on, Drew. Knock on something. What I was thinking about was, no, this is a fairly safe form of motor racing. I mean, I don't know what the Harrius is. This is one of the fastest ones. Ice motorcycle racing seems like a bad idea. You know what else seems like a horrible idea? The pylon airplane racers. Yes. We're going to go out in the desert. I got a 1944 vintage Mustang. I'll be flying about 20 feet off the ground on a pole. And you'll be right behind me in your plane, which has a propeller, which might shave my rudder. And here's how much time I have to get out. Oh, I'm 20 feet above the ground and I'm going 600 miles an hour. So you do the math on how much time I have to get out of the cockpit. And that'll be it. And that'll be it. Yeah. That seems like a bad plan. But what you guys are worse. Oh, you know what the worst? Drag boat racing.

10:31 Guest Boats.

10:32 Drew Why is that worse?

10:33 Adam Because they come off. They come off the water all the time.

10:37 Guest Those things, they do nothing wrong. You're just going along, doing your thing. You do nothing wrong. Things start skipping. And boom, you're in the air. At least ours, pretty much, you usually got to do something wrong to get in trouble, at least.

10:47 Adam Yeah. At least you're being punished for whatever you did. Yeah. That's the liquid quarter mile, Drew. Some go. Some blow. Yeah. It's a bad sign when you have a sport, which is drag racing, where every sport would actually put a parachute on you and go, no, no, don't belt in because you'll be unconscious and this thing will be capsized.

11:10 Drew You're not flying. And one of the places the vehicle may end up is on the audience.

11:14 Adam Right. Right. It's a very good chance the boat is going to be up at the snack shack. You put the parachute on. Yeah. I'm not jumping out of a place. No, you may come off of this thing at some point. That's a bad. Yeah, it's a bad sign when you're you're not planning on actually leaving. Not an airplane. Higher than sea level and you're putting a parachute on you. But yeah. So yeah. But this still still takes way of us. Don't get me. Don't get me wrong. Takes major balls to get into one of these cars, especially 200 and something miles an hour. You know, he's talk about how things slow down at that speed, but I would assume they just be 10 times as fast.

11:49 Drew You're going to.

11:50 Adam You know, they interview guys like things slow down. That never happens. That's just in the movies, right? Stuff's faster, right?

11:56 No, it does.

11:58 Guest It does slow down. Yeah. Until until something goes wrong, then it suddenly seemed really fast.

12:03 Guest Yeah.

12:05 Adam And everything's been going good this year. No accidents. Everything's fine.

12:10 Guest Knock on wood. Everything's been going good.

12:12 Adam All right. So this Sunday, the California Speedway watched the Indy cars. Yes, you're somewhat wrong. Oh, yeah. You got a little bit. That could have been for masturbating.

12:22 Guest I almost took this off in the car because I knew that comment was coming. But the truth be told, this is actually Adam's fault.

12:28 Guest It really was masturbating for me.

12:29 Guest This is from last time I was on the show. Adam gave me his autographed copy of Kama Sutra for one. I was trying one of the more advanced maneuvers and it just.

12:38 Adam Corporal panel.

12:39 Guest Yeah, it didn't work out right. So.

12:40 Adam So you're all right?

12:41 Guest You're going to be ready to race on Sunday? I have two broken bones in my wrist, but I will be okay to race.

12:46 Adam You'll be ready to race. You know, I was thinking about with their sport. One of the only sports, if you think about it, where they actually have to slow them down a little bit, where the technology surpass the safety and have to slow them down. And I was thinking football is getting close to this point. Yes. Not really for the white guys, but the brothers, we got to put like a sandbag in their underpants or something. You know, I mean, injuries are getting bad. People are flying. Guys are running for two 40s now. I mean, do you see the acceleration like on the punts and the kickoffs guys flying down the field?

13:17 Drew But those guys are 230 pounds.

13:19 Adam And they're running for two 40s, right? That's my point. We need to need to need to tweak them a little bit. You know, I don't know if it's a bong load. I don't know if it's a sandbag. I don't know what it is. But just like they do for safety and so things can remain competitive, you just change the change the wing a little. So there's not quite as much downforce. You know what I'm saying?

13:43 Drew All right. We can play again.

13:47 Adam Let's see if we can play again. Chris?

13:51 Hello?

13:52 Caller You're 24?

13:53 Drew A guy.

13:54 Yeah.

13:54 Caller I have a question.

13:56 Well, first off, I want to say, you guys, I love the show.

13:59 I've been listening to you guys for a long time, ever since the show first started.

14:03 Adam Thanks.

14:03 I think, Drew, you're a genius.

14:05 Adam Adam, you're hilarious.

14:06 I swear to God, every night I listen to this show and just crack my ass off every night. My buddy said he had a question, we're fighting back and forth to find out whether or not, is there really a place in a man's anus that can make you come instantly? No.

14:23 Adam Hold on, this is for the drivers.

14:25 Caller Oh, yeah. Sometimes they have questions for the guys.

14:30 Adam No, that's from the movies. That's from the movies.

14:33 Drew Yeah, most guys have...

14:35 Adam All right, all right, go ahead.

14:38 Drew Most men would find that very unpleasant. Very unpleasant.

14:42 Adam Yeah, they're...

14:43 Drew Independent of what Cosmo is teaching women.

14:45 Adam No, in the movie Road Trip, I think there was a scene where a guy was sort of milked against his will. Can you be milked, Drew?

14:53 Drew I mean, there might be a guy that could have that happen, but that'd be a rare find.

14:57 Adam If there was a situation where somebody was passed out and you needed their semen... All right, let me give you a scenario. Let me give you a scenario. Would you open your ears and close your mouth, open your mind for a second?

15:10 Drew Take the cotton out of my ear and put it in my mouth.

15:12 Adam Please, here's the situation. We're all locked in a bank vault. There's four of us. There's just four of us in a vault. And we're running out of air. And the thing's on a time release thing. It's not gonna open until Monday morning at 9 a.m. It's Saturday and we're almost out of oxygen. Bryan is passed out.

15:31 Drew He's already down.

15:32 Adam He's down because he's not cut out of the same cloth we are. And he's succumbed to the lack of oxygen in the air.

15:39 Drew And we'll need to clone a new one when we get home.

15:41 Adam No, no, no. That's stupid. We need a semen as lubricant for the door mechanism. Oh, of course.

15:48 Drew Yes, yes.

15:49 Adam That's the only thing that's gonna work. Because he actually has a higher level of graphite in his semen because of all the raising.

15:56 Drew We're not trying to get sperm. We're trying to get semen.

15:58 Adam We're trying to get something from him. And it's a non-sexual thing, Bryan. Don't worry about it. You're passed out. Is there a way to do it? Would there be a way to milk it like a gland, you know? You know what I mean? Like when they capture a snake, a rattlesnake, they want to get the venom.

16:13 Drew I know of no way to squeeze it out.

16:15 Adam So we're gonna die?

16:16 Drew You can do it the old fashioned way. Get it to produce.

16:19 Adam No. I don't think we're at that point yet.

16:23 Guest Plus... I heard you and Bryan were tied.

16:25 Adam Well, security cameras and everything.

16:27 You know the Internet.

16:28 Adam The tapes get around.

16:29 Drew Screw up that cruise you're planning. And then there's the possibility of sort of getting a needle into the seminal vessels.

16:36 Adam That's what we're gonna do. That'll be good.

16:38 Drew That'll be hard to do.

16:39 Adam Hold them down. Yeah, hang on a minute. We're gonna get you out of here, buddy. So I can see that. We can do it that way.

16:47 Drew Let's see if we got to survive. You got to survive.

16:50 Adam Do what we can. Shane?

16:52 Yes, sir?

16:53 Adam You're 27?

16:55 Caller That's correct.

16:55 Adam What's up?

16:57 Caller Just to have a quick question for you, ma'am. My girlfriend and I have been together for quite some time, and she has a severe oral fixation, which I have no complaints of. She does like to swallow, and on occasion she says that it tastes different, and sometimes she doesn't like the taste of it. I've heard from different people that sometimes you can eat fruit like X amount of hours before you have to add something like that, and it changes the actual flavor of overall.

17:25 Drew Have you tried that yet?

17:27 Caller I'm sorry, go ahead.

17:28 Drew Have you tried that yet?

17:29 Caller Yes, I have. She says it makes a difference, but I don't know if it is actually a mental thing or if it's just the fact that she knows I've eaten fruit.

17:38 Adam Well, look, Shane, I got to tell you, we're fighting for our lives here. We don't care about flavor. We're worried about viscosity, and we want to be able to open that lock. Is that what he's talking about?

17:47 Drew Yes, it's graphite content.

17:48 Adam I heard it. Who cares what it tastes like, Shane? We're dying here.

17:51 Drew But I think it's more an issue, Shane, of not eating something that gives it an unpleasant taste. You can't make your poo better, but you know what I mean?

18:02 Adam But you could make...

18:02 Drew No, but sometimes some people...

18:04 Adam That's the whole thing. That's a good point. This is my argument with this stuff. What are you going to do? So you eat a banana split and just a tub of Cool Whip. You think your poo comes out? Oh, eat it again. Fantastic. Recycle. Swirl? Yeah, it goes down a notch. It was a banana split and now it's just sort of like a brownie.

18:22 Drew It's not Mexican food.

18:25 Adam It's not going to help. Mexican never helps.

18:27 Drew It could make it worse, but it ain't going to make it better. Right. So he basically shouldn't eat asparagus and smoked cigarettes before his refraction.

18:35 Adam All right. So and what about that? Because it's not going to... You can affect your urine, you can affect your semen, like I said, with pineapple. Oh, who cares? Look, who cares, everybody? What you got to do? Leave us alone.

18:53 Caller We're fighting for our lives.

18:54 Adam Let's talk to a chick. We can't talk to guys.

18:57 Drew I know. I was trying... I got busted on both of them. Chris and Shane. I thought it was girls.

19:02 Adam Oh, okay. Rebecca? Shane's kind of a... That's a dude name.

19:06 Drew Yeah, but I...

19:08 I know.

19:09 Adam Rebecca?

19:10 Yeah.

19:11 Adam That would be funny if she was like, Hello. You're 23. What's going on?

19:18 Caller I have a six-month-old son, and ever since I had him, it's really hard for me to want to have sex with my husband now.

19:30 Drew Is your nose packed with cotton right now? It sounds awful.

19:34 Caller I have a cold.

19:37 Adam You say you don't want to have sex with your husband since you've had your newborn.

19:41 Caller Right. Are you breastfeeding? No, not anymore. I did for three months.

19:47 Drew That's completely normal to have a significant drop in your sex drive after you deliver.

19:51 Caller No.

19:51 Adam Drew, when are you not a newborn anymore? You become a toddler? What do you mean?

19:56 Drew You become a newborn, then you're an infant.

19:58 Adam Then you're an infant.

19:59 Drew Newborn is like weeks.

20:00 Caller Newborn is weeks.

20:01 Adam Infant is like...

20:03 Caller Six months?

20:05 Drew Eight to twelve. You're still...

20:07 Adam Anything under a year?

20:08 Drew I think you're still kind of... They're infantile. They start walking, really.

20:12 Adam All right.

20:13 Drew Just trying to get some clarification. Yeah.

20:15 Caller Go ahead, Rebecca.

20:19 Drew Basically, most often, it is. There's some dramatic biological changes with pregnancy, and it's Mother Nature's way of making sure you don't get pregnant again because your biological and metabolic and psychological needs have to be poured into this child for a few years, and so nature set it up this way. So, when you breastfeed, you don't ovulate. It cuts your sex drive down, and just the pregnancy itself makes you have a period of low sex drive. Sometimes you can regain it by going on the birth control pill if the pill in the past has helped you with sexual desire. The other thing is the stress of having a baby. Sometimes people get depressed in that first year, so you got to watch out for that. But having a low libido is very, very common that first year.

20:57 Adam Now, what are you good for? Like a month.

21:00 Caller Um, probably like four times a month, I would say.

21:07 Drew That's pretty good.

21:08 Caller I mean, is that bad for where you're at?

21:10 Drew Yeah, yeah. That's pretty good.

21:12 Caller See, but before, it was way more than that.

21:17 Drew But you're still near the national average. I had a very uncomfortable conversation with my wife because she's my sort of...

21:24 Adam I got to tell you that most conversations with your wife is uncomfortable. Yes, she's very open sexually.

21:29 Drew Well, no, it wasn't that. I use hers. I sort of question her about stuff. And I go, and I got to sort of bug up my ass and I go, tell me, why can't, let me understand, I got to understand, why can't women appreciate that men have a biological burden with this and it accumulates and something must be done about it?

21:47 Adam You're talking about the sexual...

21:49 Drew And you don't have to do anything but kind of hold still and appreciate that guys have this. You don't have to... And then she's like, well, thinking about sex that makes it not... Don't think sexual, don't worry about it. Just have an appreciation that this is how... Oh, that's gross. Well, yeah, okay. But just, this is how men are and why can't women accept, that's my point. Why is it, girl, why can't you just accept that and why again, you know, it's so... Why can't they just go, I understand it's hard for them to feel sexual without sort of an intimacy and this and that and thinking about pure biology gets weird for them, but just have an appreciation that, accept that men are that way.

22:21 Adam They won't accept it. You know what we really have to do with women is, you know, they go to the spa, they understand that concept of just wanting a rub down or neck rub or to be pampered, it's just a physical thing. The person, you know, you'll say to them, like, what, I mean, you're nude in front of some dude who shaves his chest? Oh, it's nothing, it's just, you know, I want to get my back rubbed out or whatever. Can't you just sort of translate that or transfer that thought into us sexually? Like, we just need something we got to do here. It's nothing personal, nothing personal.

22:52 Drew You could even transfer it into other expiratory functions.

22:56 Adam Like what? Number two? Really? I mean, you want to do it on your wife? No, I'm just saying that, I'm just saying that, I think we heard what you had to say. We got to break early. We're going to break early. Wow.

23:13 Drew I told you it was uncomfortable.

23:15 Caller It was an uncomfortable conversation. Yeah. I didn't know it was going to get any worse.

23:20 Adam No, Drew, what do you mean?

23:21 Drew The point is that women have no other other than eating and other extra function. They don't have any appreciation of anything building up and needing to be cut out.

23:30 Adam Oh, wouldn't it be great? Wouldn't it be great if women got sort of pent up and had a, you know what I mean? It's time. Yeah, it's time. Like all you'd have to do is basically stand out front of the women's porno theater and when they exited and be like, come on, lady, who's next? You could find them at the right time, built up, pent up. You know what I'm saying? Yes. The guys are walking around like loaded weapons. Every 19 year old guy in America is this way. Could have got some 10 minutes ago. Now he's re-cocked and ready to go. New bullet in the chamber. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Women never have that. So it's all, it's like.

24:14 Drew Well, they do occasionally at some times.

24:16 Adam No, women, you know, trying to sell them sex is like trying to buy a car off one of your buddies who doesn't need the money. So you're just trying to convince him, oh man, that DB5 is just gathering dust in you. Yeah. He doesn't need the money though. So it's like, it's sort of like, well, if you present a good enough offer, I mean, of course I'll think about it, but there's no, there's no rush. There's no imperative here. I don't need, I don't need it. No, what you need is you want to, you want to be dealing with someone who's got their eye on another car and needs that money.

24:45 Drew Again, I want to, God's great jokes on humans is women do actually have a period when they predictably can experience this and it's about month eight, nine of pregnancy.

24:54 Adam Yeah. Haha, buddy.

24:55 Drew Enjoy.

24:57 Adam It does us no good. No good. And we would get the chick we got obviously because she's knocked up and then we don't need her in that stage. Really? I really, I'm not a God-fearing man, but I know what's right and I know what's wrong and that's just wrong. No, you stick the world at that point.

25:14 Caller Call me old-fashioned. Call me old-fashioned.

25:17 Adam I'm with you. Yeah, you're with me, right? That's not right. Let's take one more quick call. Drew, we'll sell a call. We'll do that and then we'll go into break. Who do you want to talk to? Kimberly?

25:28 Drew That's the same question, isn't it?

25:29 Caller Oh, it is?

25:31 Drew Oh, no, this is good.

25:31 Caller Tara?

25:33 Adam Kimberly?

25:34 Yeah, hi.

25:35 Adam You're 20?

25:36 Caller Yeah.

25:36 Adam What's up?

25:37 Caller I have a question. My boyfriend, I think he might have low testosterone. He has a very low sex drive, but he's like 20 years old.

25:47 Caller Mm-hmm.

25:49 Adam And how long have you been with him?

25:51 Caller About a year and a half now.

25:52 Caller Mm-hmm.

25:53 Caller We've been friends for like six years, though, so.

25:57 Adam Who liked who first?

26:00 Caller He liked me first, actually.

26:03 Adam And how often you guys do it?

26:08 Caller Well, in the beginning of the relationship, it was a lot, but it's kind of sitting down to like maybe once every two weeks.

26:16 Drew And before was every day kind of thing.

26:18 Caller Yeah.

26:19 Drew Indianapolis, interestingly.

26:21 Guest And he's I have nothing to do with her.

26:25 Adam I promise you go the speedway.

26:27 Caller No, no, no.

26:30 Adam See, I would assume that everyone has to go loaded in a bus shackle.

26:34 Caller I don't like the whole NASCAR thing.

26:36 Adam It's this same NASCAR.

26:38 Caller This is any car, any kind of car thing.

26:43 Guest We can convert you. We can convert you.

26:45 Adam What do you guys think? I don't like NASCAR. I got to say, I mean, it's got an engine and they race and that part of it's good. But other than that, I'd rather watch like snowmobile racing or something. You guys are offending you?

26:57 Guest No, I think it sucks. I'm with you.

27:00 Adam Yeah, good. Well, okay. Here's what I want to say. Way too much NASCAR and like the speed speed channel. Like, you know, they used to have the Goodwood Festival and the Exhibition of Speed and all this kind of cool, funky stuff and all this, you know, sports car racing from Germany and all this kind of road racing stuff. And, you know, hill climb, you know, not the greatest, but here's a good sport. Motorcycle hill climb. Guys got, especially when you get into the unlimited category.

27:27 Guest The Widowmaker. That hill, the Widowmaker.

27:29 Adam Guys got like a swing arm that's eight foot long, like a high school basketball goal post. It's got like an outboard engine on it and like chains on the rear tire. And it's crazy, crazy contraptions trying to get up these hills that Billy Goat couldn't make it up. But the point is.

27:48 Guest Fringe motorsport.

27:49 Adam Yeah, very fringe. But guys weren't Viking helmets, you know.

27:53 Drew What I like about NASCAR is I think it evokes a very primitive response in males. Looking at it, I feel like I did when I held a little car and went, you know, like a little toy car, it evokes that feeling.

28:03 Adam I don't like the cars. I don't know what it is. I don't like the vehicles. It shouldn't be as big as it is. And it's one of these things that lets me know this country is mostly stupid. It really is. There are certain things in life where I go, what, NASCAR is like the number one thing on TV? And how many gallons of Mountain Dew and Sunny D did we sell? 40 billion gallons of Sunny Delight we sold last year? I gotta move. People are stupid. Something's wrong with this country. You ever take a swig of that stuff? You spin it out and slap the person that handed it to you.

28:39 Caller What is it?

28:42 Adam It's like fake orange juice.

28:43 Caller It's basically what it is.

28:45 Adam There are certain things, and to me it's the Mountain Dews and the Sunny Ds and the NASCAR things that make me realize it's time for me to go to Canada.

28:53 Caller And Dr. Phil.

28:53 Adam It really is. Oh, and Dr. Phil. Oh, see, now Drew's on board. Dr. Phil's number one weekdays. NASCAR, number one on weekends. And everyone's got himself a big heaping tumbler of Sunny D.

29:08 Drew Maybe we should get a show in, like, Slovenia or something. We've got to be in another country.

29:11 Adam We've got to get... Is the Iron Curtain still up? We've got to get behind it, Drew. All right. Let's take ourselves a little break. I don't know what's up with Kimberly and her man, but when you're 20 and you're not having much sex, it kind of means that things coast in a little bit. Yeah?

29:28 Drew He's been after her for six years.

29:30 Adam He got what he wanted. Kimberly?

29:33 Drew Yeah, I'm here.

29:34 Adam Sorry I had to cut you off. You're talking smack about motorsports.

29:37 Drew Does he have medications?

29:38 Caller No, he was on Zoloft for a while.

29:41 Drew There you go. All right.

29:43 Adam That's it.

29:45 Caller He's been off of it for about a year now.

29:47 Adam Are you in love with him? Do you want to continue?

29:50 Caller Yeah, definitely. I mean, like we already bought a house together and stuff.

29:54 Adam Indianapolis, like $22,000. You can get the governor's mansion. It's awesome. Here, you can't get like 100-foot hoes at the Home Depot for $22,000. I got to move, Drew.

30:06 Caller All right.

30:07 Adam Listen, you're in love. Just keep going.

30:09 Drew Enjoy.

30:10 Adam Go out and enjoy the motorsports over there in Indianapolis.

30:12 Drew That's what you got. It probably is something more biological for him than not. Maybe it's just his rhythm. He may be depressed again. Maybe he's not as into the relationship as you thought. You know, it's not that big a deal.

30:23 Adam Bryan Herta here, Dan Wheldon here, both IndyCar drivers in the Indy series. Going to be at the California Speedway this Sunday. 200-plus mile an hour. Take a quick break. Be right back.

30:45 Drew Love Line.

30:46 With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

30:50 Drew San Francisco.

31:05 Adam I'm Adam. Dan Wheldon is here. Bryan Herta is here. Both IndyCar drivers are going to be doing the Toyota Indy 400. I'm guessing that's 400 miles. What do you cover that in?

31:21 Guest It's like an, I think, an hour and 50 minutes, maybe two hours. It's one of the longer races, actually.

31:26 Adam The 400.

31:26 Guest Yeah.

31:27 Guest Yeah, because it's around two hours.

31:28 Adam Bigger super speedway out here at the California Speedway. Go for the Indy, but leave for the food. Horrible food over there.

31:37 Drew Really?

31:38 Adam Yeah, I got to be honest.

31:38 Drew At the California Speedway?

31:39 Adam I got to be honest with you.

31:41 Drew Bryan was just bragging about it. He said they've got it really, really juiced up this year.

31:43 Adam Well, then maybe something changed.

31:45 Guest You obviously haven't tried the knockwurst.

31:48 Adam Oh, really?

31:49 Guest Oh, I don't know.

31:49 Adam Oh, it's bad times over there.

31:50 Guest I don't eat that stuff.

31:51 Adam Yeah, they got to, you know what they got to do? They got to do what Major League Baseball did, which is open.

31:55 Drew The Krispy Kremes in there.

31:57 Adam Put the Pizza Hut in there and let people eat what they normally eat.

32:00 Drew Which is weird, why don't the franchises go, they go everywhere but not certain places?

32:05 Adam Yeah, I know. And by the way, the one, you know, you're out with the family, you spend a few hundred bucks, you're watching a thing where you want to eat prison food for two hours? Please. I had to keyster a hoagie to get it in there last time I was there because they check you.

32:19 Drew Here we go again.

32:20 Adam It was good. My point is, you got to get one of those booths, one of those boxes up there where they got the kiwi cut up and the beer floated.

32:29 Guest That's a good living, the shrimp cocktails.

32:32 Adam You want to get up there.

32:33 Drew Maybe that's what he was bragging about.

32:35 Adam Oh, Matt could have been in.

32:37 Guest He's bragging about our team hospitality. We have some good food there.

32:40 Adam Oh, you do?

32:41 Guest Yeah, you got to break into that place because they serve Jim Beam and everything there.

32:45 Adam You're on the Indredi green racing team.

32:48 Drew Captain Morgan.

32:49 Adam What is the green, by the way, what's the green part of green racing?

32:53 Guest Kim Green.

32:54 Adam Oh, that's the name? Gotten mixed up with the Cools, I think, or something like that. But the team is green. What color is the car?

33:04 Guest We all have different. Mine's sponsored by Klein Tools and Jim Beam, so it's red, white, and black.

33:09 Guest Mine's black, yellow, and red. It's XM. Are you guys on XM?

33:12 Adam No. We should be on XM. Why aren't we on XM, Drew?

33:16 Guest We should be on XM.

33:17 Drew Brian can set us up with that, too.

33:18 Guest I'll hook you up. Shrimp cocktails and XM.

33:23 Adam Please. All right. Let's just take question for the guest. Baxter?

33:28 Yeah. How's it going?

33:29 Adam You're 15. What's up?

33:31 Caller Well, first, Adam, I just want to say that you're my freaking idol, man.

33:35 Adam Thank you.

33:36 Caller And I was wondering what kind of cars you drove.

33:38 Adam Oh, I have quite a few.

33:43 Caller You have an M3, right?

33:45 Adam Yeah, I have two, actually.

33:47 Caller You have two. E36 or E46?

33:50 Adam Uh-oh.

33:51 Drew One of each, right?

33:52 Adam Well, I got an E46 and an E30.

33:55 Caller Oh, nice.

33:55 Adam Oh. But the old one.

33:57 Caller Nice.

33:57 Adam Yeah, the box flares. Yeah. And it's an 89.

34:01 Caller Nice.

34:03 Adam But enough about me. Listen, people start getting angry when they tell me I have nice cars because they drive crappy cars and they get angry at you. Go get your own self a goddamn nice car. Everyone stop presenting me. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Yes, Drew. It's not like I started off with a collection of M3s. I started off with a beat up Mazda pickup truck with the, I used to have to use vise grips as cranks to get the windows open. So kiss my ass, everyone. I get very defensive and then overcompensate the other direction. All right. You got a question for the guys?

34:33 Caller Yeah, I wanted to know the difference between Indy and F1.

34:37 Caller Like what's the difference between the cars?

34:39 Guest Bryan's a very good one to answer this because he's driven both.

34:42 Adam You've driven F1, right?

34:44 Guest I didn't race but I've tested an F1 car.

34:46 Adam How about it? Which one?

34:49 Guest A Minardi.

34:50 Adam A Minardi?

34:50 Guest Yeah, a Minardi. Which is sort of like...

34:54 Adam Like a Mexican?

34:54 Guest It's the slowest F1 car in the field but it was still freaking incredible.

35:01 Adam We don't know that though. You didn't have to tell us that. Everyone knows Schumacher and Ferrari does it pretty good.

35:09 Guest They're from... Well, Minardi is also from Italy. Oh, really? Ferrari and Minardi are both based in Italy.

35:16 Drew I'm curious. What made it so impressive?

35:20 Guest The biggest thing is F1 car is a lot lighter. It's like 400 pounds lighter and it has a similar amount of horsepower, so basically it just stops, turns... It does everything a lot quicker, 400 pounds. Our cars only weigh 1,550, so their cars weigh almost nothing and that increases the performance.

35:40 Adam Yeah. It's the leading edge of motorsport is F1 and by quite a bit. The difference... I don't think the average layperson knows the difference between NASCAR and an F1 car is the difference between a Learjet and an old crop duster for the most part.

35:58 Guest It's the type of tracks too. You couldn't run an F1 track on an oval here at California Speedway because they're so light they're also not as strong.

36:05 Adam Oh really?

36:06 Guest Yeah. You hit the wall at California Speedway and an F1 car there would be nothing left of you or the car. Right. So our cars are heavier because they have to be stronger because they race on road courses where they might touch just over 200 miles an hour for a short part of one straightaway where we're over 200 miles an hour for the entire two hours. So it's sort of a different use.

36:26 Guest The technology though is amazing. To run like Ferrari Formula One team, the engine program and the car program, to run those two cars for the full year is $400 million plus.

36:37 Drew Oh my God.

36:38 Guest Like to run an Indy car for example, it's probably between $7 and $9 million.

36:43 Guest Yeah.

36:43 Guest So there's a big difference.

36:44 Drew Is it the car, what's in the car or if the car vaporizes they just have another one?

36:49 Guest It's just rules. You know, they're just, they're a lot more unlimited in what they can do, unrestricted in what they can do in Formula One. So you know, basically it becomes the more money you can spend, the more advantages you can find.

37:00 Drew But is each car a one of a kind, priceless? Yes. So if you lose that car, it's not like they can replace it in a few days with another one.

37:07 Guest They can build another one, but that, you know, costs a lot of money.

37:11 Drew Is that the $400 million?

37:12 Caller No.

37:13 Drew No, that's what I'm asking.

37:14 Guest It's not just the car.

37:15 Caller No, no.

37:16 Guest The car is the cheapest part of it.

37:18 Drew That's what I was asking.

37:19 Guest The car is the cheapest part of it. Yeah.

37:20 Caller That's what I was asking.

37:22 Adam And the guy's shoes, I think are the cheapest part.

37:24 Guest The car is like this microphone out of the radio station.

37:27 Drew Okay, got it.

37:27 Guest Right.

37:28 Caller What's he talking about?

37:33 Adam No, that's good.

37:33 Caller I like that one.

37:35 Adam Oh, man.

37:36 Guest You've been all over the place. We're on the bus with you. You leave me hanging.

37:39 Adam I'm sorry, buddy. Come on, let's rattle. Let's break it down.

37:43 Guest I'm with you. I'm with you.

37:44 Adam F1, you know, the other thing I don't like when F1 moved the wing down underneath the nose. It looks funky now. To me, it's all aesthetics. I went to the Pebble Beach and went to the Laguna Seca Raceway about a month or so ago for the Vintage Race and I think Ferrari was to make and they had all the F1 cars from the 70s and 80s and stuff you remember having slot cars of and the Elf cars and Jackie Stewart's car and you just realize those ones from like the middle 70s, early 70s that had the rear tires that look like barrels, you know, just literally two foot of a tire, you know, they had no rules back then, like no safety rules, though, whatever. Remember one car had two front wheels, remember the six wheel Elf car? Come on, Drew. Four front tires. John Player Special. Just everything was crazy and experimental because you just here's the rules for F1. Spend as much money and do whatever you want so you can get around the track the fastest. It doesn't even matter. You could pull a van out there, it doesn't matter if you think you can get around the track faster and now they have rules.

38:53 Drew Why did they back off in there? When did they back off?

38:55 Adam Speed.

38:55 Drew Just the speed. Dangerous. Yeah.

38:57 Guest Yeah. Yeah. If it was unlimited, it would just get too dangerous.

39:02 Adam Let's talk to Line 4. Mike? 17?

39:09 Yeah, what's up Adam? You're great. Drew, you're great.

39:12 Caller Thank you.

39:13 My question is for you Adam, I want to know what you did in high school to get the female man, what you did to get him to notice you.

39:20 Adam Well, first I masturbated, then I cried.

39:24 Caller And then you combed over your hair.

39:27 Adam No, I didn't do, I didn't get any chicks in high school. I had like one chick that liked me, Stacey Mallon, but her dad was Mr. Mallon, the plastic shops teacher from my junior high who I hated and I could never get over, I could never reconcile my hatred for Mr. Mallon, for my love of his daughter. Like every time I saw her, I saw her fat stocky dad with the comb over and the thick fingers and the smelling like surfboard resin and I was mad.

39:58 Drew He's not the one that you burnt his kitchen up.

40:01 Adam No, no, that was St. Chilladag's dad, yeah. That was another thing. Yeah, a lot of unrequited love. Plus, you know, I had this indignity, this happens every once in a while too. Nothing worse than starting out good, I'll put it in racing terms here, a couple of wins early in the season and then can't find the podium after that, it's brutal, you know. Had a chick that was sort of hot in junior high, no, that was high school.

40:29 Drew Oh, well, he's a dad, that's good.

40:30 Adam That's a one-time thing, though. All right, all right, that's something, that's a podium. I was so behind on points by then. But here's the thing, here's the thing, I had a chick that was kind of hot in like the eighth grade, she's the one who called and said it was between me and my buddy Chris, and she picked me and then and then mentioned all my friends think I'm crazy. You have to tack that on to the end of the day. I was starting to get a boner, now this? All my friends, all of them think you're crazy? Okay, but why do you have to put that on there? Maybe it's just nervous, but she, okay, but here's the thing. Then we broke up, we got in high school, she got smoking hot. Once in a while, a chick at like 14, 15, a little awkward, whatever, them figuring out what to do with her hair, chicks with curly hair, they don't know what to do with it at 13 or 14. Pow, 16, they got it figured out, boobs come in, they want nothing to do with you. Boobs come a-knockin, and they're in. So now she's hot, and I, you know, she used to be my, right, but no, she does not have nothing to do with me now. She's one of those, that kitchen I burnt down later on. Yeah. Oh, wow. So, yeah, so it's bad. So I got a couple of wins early in the season, and then just a long, long dry spell, and then now I'm trying to pick up a sponsor. I got no ride, I got no ride this year. Yeah, it was tough, it was lean. And I was like the captain of the football team too, and still nothing.

42:03 Drew How do you explain that?

42:04 Adam I'll tell you how, I'll tell you how. I was extra goofy, and maybe that was enough.

42:08 Drew Or maybe it was like the way the models always say, I could never get a date in high school.

42:12 Adam No, here's the thing about me.

42:14 Drew Now you're starting to sound like one of those supermodels.

42:17 Caller I was a tomboy, that was super goofy.

42:18 Adam No, I was goofy. Chicks don't like goofy.

42:22 Drew Desperate, I think would be a better word.

42:23 Adam Desperate meets goofy. Doofy, that was me, desperate meets goofy. But here's the other thing too. If you think about it, oh, that's enough, that's not funny. Here's the thing. There were better times to be the captain of the football team. Like in the 50s, I believe that would just translate into punta, you know what I mean? Then like during Vietnam, I don't think that meant as much. Maybe it's cooler now than it was in 1982. You know what I'm saying? I believe I hit a bad time for captain of the football team.

42:58 Drew You were participating with the man at that point.

43:02 Adam In my high school, you would have been better off just being punk than you would have being an all-league football player.

43:10 Drew Thus you have your friend Donnie.

43:12 Adam Killed us. Nothing worse than when little guys get laid a lot. You know? Makes you angry. Little pint-sized guys getting laid all the time and you're just sitting there.

43:21 Drew You're just peeing on your friends. Nah, right.

43:23 Adam Come on Drew. Let's focus now. Let's break it down. We got a show to do. Let's go. We're gonna take a little break. Big race this Sunday at the California Speedway. 215 miles an hour and then some. That is out in Fontana, which sounds further than it is. I've been out there quite a few times.

43:44 Drew That's what scares me off.

43:45 Adam Fontana sounds hard. Drew, from where you are.

43:48 Drew It's close, huh?

43:49 Adam You live in Pasadena.

43:50 Guest Yeah, it's like 35 minutes.

43:52 Adam Yeah, I mean you make it in half an hour. And there's not much traffic out that way.

43:56 Drew You know, I went to that, there's a concert at the.

44:00 Adam To get out there. DeVore.

44:02 Drew Yeah, near DeVore. That's where we passed the Speedway. I was amazed.

44:04 Adam Yeah, the Speedway, yeah, you can't miss. It's like 70 acres of orange. All right, we're gonna take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

44:13 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

44:46 Adam Yeah, everybody, Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, call number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Bryan Herta here, Dan Wheldon here tonight. Both IndyCar drivers, both gonna be at the California Speedway for the Toyota Indy 400, which is coming up this Sunday. Tickets still available. You just go to, what do we call, 800? Is there nothing I can't, tickets. Yeah, okay, I was gonna give you the phone number, and I realized you're not holding the pen. I'll give you the phone number in a second. Okay, 800-944-7223. That's the number you call. I've been, I don't think I was there last year, I think I was there the year before. Very enjoyable, much better than television. You don't get the speed. You don't get the speed vibe thing on TV.

45:35 Guest It's too sterilized. It's totally different live.

45:37 Adam Yeah, and you know what?

45:38 Guest The sound too, the sound is different.

45:39 Adam Yeah, the sound is crazy, and the smell. Like when a guy eats a chip beef and breaks wind next to you. You don't get that at home. Unless you're with me. Yeah, you're not gonna get that. No, I mean, there's cars running off of, what are they running off of? Methanol. Methanol. Yeah, now it's weird that we've been trying to get cars to run off of methanol out here. It's just made from like corn, I think, and it's like essentially alcohol, right? And does the methanol, stop me from wrong here, but does it burn clear? Is that one of the things? Because it's hard to tell when the guy's on fire.

46:13 Guest You can't see the flame, but they could put something in it for that.

46:16 Drew But does it take more energy to create the methanol? You know what I mean?

46:20 Adam It's not working for some reason for the consumer. But I don't, you know, there's nothing funnier, by the way.

46:26 Guest I drove a car in Le Mans a couple of years ago. It was powered by bioethanol.

46:31 Adam Really?

46:32 Guest Yeah, they said that the amount of emissions equaled the amount of carbon dioxide that would be absorbed by like the next crop of corn and stuff that they used to make it. So it was like a zero net output thing and.

46:45 Adam Wow.

46:45 Guest Yeah, well.

46:46 Adam How'd you do it? What kind of car was it, by the way?

46:49 Guest It was just a sports car at the 24 Hours Le Mans.

46:52 Caller I know, but what kind of sports car?

46:53 Guest Okay, it was a Raynard with a Cosworth engine. It was actually an Indy car engine that was retuned to run on this bioethanol.

47:02 Adam How'd you do? Was the car fast? Did it run right?

47:05 Guest No, I crashed it.

47:06 Adam Oh really?

47:07 Guest Had you not crashed it? Had I not crashed it, it would, you know, it wasn't bad.

47:11 Adam It was a 24-hour race.

47:12 Guest Bioethanol is not as efficient a fuel, so you have to burn more of it. So you don't get as much miles per gallon as you do in gasoline. So we would have to make a lot of extra pit stops, which would have penalized us a little bit. But I mean, it was still out there. You know, it was far from the slowest car in the field.

47:28 Adam Right. Well, I mean, he crashed three minutes into a 24-hour race, so it's hard to tell.

47:32 Drew You don't wanna hassle with the stops.

47:34 Adam I used to like on the Le Mans is the running start. You know, like they were doing speed racers. Guys running. It was awesome. Because by the way, you put the seatbelt on on lap 13 when you get settled. You know, it was number one.

47:48 Guest Most of those guys didn't use seatbelts then.

47:50 Adam Yeah, so why not? And then number two, it was always funny. Guys pulling out onto the track. Cars were parked at like a 45-degree angle. Guys jumping into the cars, pulling out onto the track while other cars had a head of steam who were down 100 feet were coming out of the doors, flopping open. Guys just wearing overalls anyway, so it's cool. But what the hell were they thinking? We got to run. I would have been like, folks, Claude, Patrice, it's a 24-hour race. Do we really need to run to the goddamn car? Let's see if it's like a 40-minute race. We'll run to the car. But 24 hours, let's just go ahead and start the car like human beings. Running to the car, 45 minutes in.

48:28 Drew Leftover from bicycle racing or something.

48:30 Adam Yeah, there's always the old footage to the one guy sort of missed the gun. There's always the one guy standing there inexplicably for like the three count looking around before his team starts yelling at him. But yeah, biggest race in the world, would you say? Is Indy bigger than New York?

48:44 Guest Yeah, Indy's bigger.

48:45 Guest Indy's the biggest race in the world.

48:47 Adam Indy's, is it because, is Indy is big in Europe too?

48:52 Guest Yeah.

48:53 Adam It's huge.

48:53 Guest Yeah, I think everywhere.

48:55 Adam Everywhere.

48:56 Guest I've been in Europe, Italy, France, Germany, Spain. Everybody knows about the Indianapolis fight. I underestimated it though, the atmosphere. You were just talking about the atmosphere at Fontana. The atmosphere that the morning you walk like out through gasoline alley is unbelievable.

49:15 Adam Didn't a European guy win India year before last or something like that? Isn't there- Brazilian guy. Brazilian guy.

49:24 Caller All right.

49:25 Adam It's to me, it just goes in the brain as foreigner. That's all. So not one of us in other words.

49:30 Guest Right. But we got it back this year. We got it back. Buddy Rice won it this year.

49:34 Adam Buddy Rice. There's, that's a guy you want to win it.

49:37 Caller All right.

49:38 Adam Let's, should we take one call? Let's talk to Tara.

49:42 Caller Tara?

49:43 Adam 21? You're breastfeeding your baby. You're on soma.

49:49 Caller Mm-hmm.

49:50 Adam You know what's funny, Drew? You ever see a guy-

49:53 Drew We'll back there in a second.

49:54 Adam Guy catches on fire for one of those methanol fires.

49:57 Caller Yeah, it's funny.

49:58 Drew It's very funny.

50:00 Adam You can't see the flame.

50:01 Drew Oh, so funny.

50:02 Adam So the guy's gulped in flames, but you don't see the flame. So it just looks like a man. It's like a lunatic out on the infield. Guy running around, he's rolling.

50:09 Drew Breathing in 600 degree air. It's great. It's so funny. Lungs fry. It's hysterical.

50:12 Adam Okay, all right, I see. Now you're making fun. But I'm telling you, if you could see the guy rolling around on the infield and like swatting himself like he was a Shiite Muslim and just scooching his ass like a dog on the carpet and stuff, it's crazy.

50:32 Drew Sitting there sort of burning out, but he's just sitting there. That's a scary look.

50:36 Adam Oh, really? When do you see that? Oh, come on, Drew. This guy's got to go race on there to bring that up. All right, so I'm gonna show some coot. We got to take a little break. And you know what? That's it, that's the hour. The guys are gone. They're only staying for the first hour. Yeah, let me just say this. You go to www.californiaspeedway.com and you get those tickets. You know what Fontana's logo should be? Fontana, we're not as far as you think. Fontana, not far. Change it to Fontana. Now you got people coming. This Sunday, everybody, Bryan, Dan, God bless you for coming in again, by the way.

51:15 Caller Pleasure, thank you.

51:16 Adam Best of luck to you on Sunday. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

51:24 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person. One call is all you need to make. Call the dateline.

51:28 Drew 877-889-DATE.

51:34 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

51:42 This hour brought you apart by Axe.

52:06 Adam Yeah everybody. That's us. PO number 1-800-LOVE-191. Said goodbye to Bryan Herta and Dan Wheldon. Both good guys and good car drivers, IndyCar drivers, California Speedway. This Sunday. It is an event. It is worth going to. I like race car drivers, Drew. There's a certain sort of ease to them that rock stars don't seem to have. They're sort of caught somewhere in between being a celebrity, but when they get off the track, they're not celebrities anymore. So they're sort of humbled. So it sort of makes them regular for the most part.

52:47 Drew Professionals, they seem to have professional demeanor about them.

52:50 Adam Yes, there's a part of them. There's sort of part rock star, part airline pilot.

52:57 Drew Right, part professional task player, part airline pilot.

53:01 Adam Yeah, part athlete, part airline pilot, which is you can't really, you kind of have to, you can't be too high on quail eggs when it's time to do your job. Yeah.

53:11 Drew Although how do you do it without that? I don't know.

53:13 Adam But you'll die if you screw around too much. And that's what I like about them. Plus there's a part of them, I think, that their life is led at 200 plus miles an hour. And so in real life, they're calm.

53:28 Drew Yes.

53:30 Adam For them, I think it's just they're not moving. It's like, you're used to going that fast and then you're just driving 30 miles an hour down a side street. Doesn't feel like going anywhere. Yes?

53:40 Drew I'm always interested in what kind of cars those guys drive.

53:42 Caller I forgot to ask.

53:43 Adam It's always disappointing.

53:44 Drew But it's always nothing because they're like, hey, I drive these crazy things all day. Why don't I want to drive anything crazy on the street?

53:49 Caller Yeah.

53:50 Adam Well, I remember talking to Bryan in the past and I think he's an enthusiast. I see. Yeah. It's always a let down. But what's it going to be? You think they're going to be driving the Chi-Town Hustler.

54:01 Adam Right. Give me a power dragster. Some go, some blow. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. English Leather Girl's going to be there. Papa Do-Run-Run in the infield. Fox Night. They'll all be there. Shirley Cha-cha-moldowny, the Texan Billy May-Q-it, the Chi-Town Hustler. TV, Tommy Ivo. Don the Snake. Don the Snake, Bruno. I like the fake conversations they would have. Shirley Cha-cha-moldowny says that Trophy's here.

54:42 Caller Big Daddy's got other ideas.

54:44 Adam Really? Did you talk to Big Daddy? Maybe he's cool with Shirley.

54:48 Drew What ideas does he have?

54:50 Adam I don't know. I don't know. Qualification 12 new. Elimination's under the lights. They're yelling at you. You crap yourself listening to these old commercials. I like this one too. It's like the, let's see, Orange County International Raceway where the 101, the 110 and the 105 explode.

55:09 Guest They're exploded?

55:12 Adam I'm scared and I'm frightened. I don't want to go. Fox is free. Love that Fox night. Yeah.

55:20 Drew That I don't remember.

55:21 Adam You don't remember Fox night? Start to play the song Fox on the Run. Fox is free.

55:30 Caller English letter girls.

55:32 Drew That guy graduated to become a stripper announcer.

55:35 Adam He ended up doing that. Yeah. Yeah. That was a, that was good times. The best is the, the, well, there was a, the good one was a, some go, some blow.

55:45 Drew It's a sundoe, sundoe, sundoe.

55:49 Adam Oh, I got to get a tape of that because they just have the sound of the guys doing the burnouts in the background. There's always something, always somebody crazy too. Dan, Dan Thompson, human stick of dynamite. It was like, guy blows himself up. There was this crazy sideshow stuff. Some school bus that wheelied with 13 special children in it.

56:10 Drew We just, oh.

56:11 Adam Oh yes. They would put the handicapped in there and wheelie the school bus.

56:14 Drew You just saw it.

56:15 Adam They would wheelie everything, by the way. This, you kids don't know from wheelie.

56:19 Drew Yeah, but the trash trucks, everything was wheelie. The celebrity wheelie vehicle of all time, of that period of history, was Hemi Underglass.

56:27 Adam Yeah. Which we saw. It was a Hemi. It was.

56:31 Drew It had two engines, didn't it? One in the front, one in the back.

56:33 Adam It was a Barracuda, it was a Dodge Barracuda. And an old one, I think. And they took this like 400, 428, 427, 429 Hemi big block engine and they put it in the back of the car.

56:48 Drew Back seat, basically.

56:49 Adam Yeah, even a little further back. So the car had so much weight in it that when a guy lit up the slicks, it would wheelie right down the course. And the underside of the car was glass so the guy could see. Because if you think about it, if you're just wheeling, you're just staring at the sky. Yeah, yeah. Hemi under glass.

57:10 Drew Sort of a silver and black. Gold and black.

57:11 Guest Gold, gold and black.

57:14 Adam Hurst.

57:15 Drew Glass, right?

57:16 Adam Yeah, oh, that Ms. Hurst was gonna be out there. Hot, juggy blonde. It was a more innocent time, kids. Get out to the drag races. I used to like, there's one of my favorite commercials where they would actually explain how the internal combustion process worked. There was like nitromethane. Throw it on the ground, drop match on it, virtually nothing, but put it inside a 500 cubic inch Hemi convention block. Liquid dynamite, Drew.

57:52 Caller All right, isn't that nitroglycerin? Yeah.

57:55 Drew Here we go.

57:56 Caller Here we go.

57:57 Drew Tara.

57:58 Caller Tara, Tara, Tara.

58:00 Drew Tara? So you were on soma and you're breastfeeding, right? How long have you been on the soma for?

58:08 Adam What's the soma for? Is that a muscle relax?

58:10 Drew It's a muscle relax and it's converted by your liver to Milltown, a drug that used to be called Milltown. Soma is actually a very highly addictive compound and extremely difficult to detox people from.

58:19 Adam What's it give you? Is that a big white pill kind of thing?

58:22 Drew Yeah, you like that?

58:23 Adam No. No, it's all right.

58:25 Drew Some people like it, it gives them sort of a buzz and it's hard to stop. But you just used a single pill, right Tara? Yeah, give it a good 12 hours. Yeah, at least.

58:37 Adam All right, baby doll.

58:38 Drew All right, thank you.

58:40 Adam Hey Drew, how about some good blowhard advice? You know the best way to stop? Never start. I like that guy, yeah. Thanks, Pops.

58:46 Caller I'm a junkie.

58:47 Adam Never start.

58:49 Drew Just say no.

58:49 Caller Yeah.

58:50 Adam Best way not to get a venereal disease? Don't have sex.

58:53 Drew Hold an aspirin in your legs.

58:55 Caller Yeah.

58:56 Drew Do it like we did in my day.

58:57 Adam That's good, yeah. You really want to, you know, best tip of course to avoid the hangover, the New Year's Eve hair?

59:03 Drew Don't drink.

59:04 Caller Don't drink?

59:04 Adam Moderation.

59:05 Caller Okay, thanks.

59:06 Adam Where's my steno pad?

59:07 Drew I gotta write these pearls down.

59:09 Adam Don't do anything?

59:10 Drew That cable, that was one of the commercials on some kind of herbal product that's gonna take care of hangovers. So you can enjoy yourself on, and still go to work the next day.

59:20 Adam Well, before you had to say no at 11 beers on a weeknight. Now, polish the case off. Yeah, well, Drew, a hangover, I mean, there's no free lunches of nature, right? A hangover, you're supposed to pay a little.

59:35 Drew Alcohol withdrawal, that's it.

59:36 Adam Pay the Fiddler Law. Is it just withdrawal, you always say this, I'm always a little confused by it.

59:40 Drew There's a toxic effect also. You can get a toxic, you get nausea and vomiting, things like that.

59:45 Adam But is the main part, you want more, you want some alcohol?

59:49 Drew No, no, no.

59:50 Adam What's the withdrawal?

59:51 Drew The getting sick part. Withdrawal, you get sick, you feel like hell.

59:55 Adam The following morning.

59:56 Drew Yeah.

59:57 Adam Yeah, so I know, but don't you crave, I mean.

1:00:01 Drew I guess an alcoholic would crave, but non-alcoholics just feel sick.

1:00:04 Adam You hear that, Chris? Chris Smart, though, made his first class at noon, so basically.

1:00:09 Drew You can deal with it.

1:00:11 Adam Drink a pony cake at 2 a.m. and be stone cold sober when it comes to his basic math class.

1:00:16 Drew And then withdrawing right after that.

1:00:18 Adam So then, if you're having withdrawal from whatever it is you're having withdrawal from, wouldn't a little bit of what you're having the withdrawal from cure you?

1:00:25 Drew Not cure you.

1:00:26 Adam Well, not cure you, but make you feel better?

1:00:27 Drew That's why they say the hair of the dog. People do feel better after a little bit.

1:00:30 Adam Yes, I do.

1:00:31 Drew But it boosts up the withdrawal. It actually makes the withdrawal worse, so you feel better for a little while, and then it makes it worse on the other side.

1:00:36 Adam Well, you have another drink.

1:00:38 Drew There you go.

1:00:39 Adam All right, next thing you know, drunk all the time. No, but isn't there a way to, I mean, look, let me be honest. Let's put on, let's be honest for a second.

1:00:49 Drew Let's pull the curtain back.

1:00:50 Adam I've got a problem.

1:00:50 Drew Layer of chips on table.

1:00:52 Adam When you, when I, When I, When one, when one, one, one, one does a night of drinking.

1:00:58 Drew Yes, one.

1:00:59 Adam And really ties one on, and then the following morning feels like a fried hell. And doesn't have to go in, not going into work or anything. Let's say it's a Sunday. One has a Bloody Mary. One feels a little better. At least it's, it's, you're in a storm at this point. You're fighting for your life. I mean, you think you're going to vomit. The room is spinning. You feel like hell. You have that and you're prolonged. I understand that sort of prolongs things. But if you just do enough and you do it at the right time, can't that act, look at it this way, Drew.

1:01:29 Drew You're tapering slowly. It's supposed to be cut off.

1:01:31 Adam Here's what I'm saying. Here's the ground. Here's the drunken platform I'm on. I need to step somewhere in between so I don't sprain my ankle.

1:01:38 Drew Here's the case you're making. Is it as opposed to have abruptly stopped drinking and asleep for 12 hours or wake up in withdrawal, you're gonna start withdrawal and then aborted by taking some more alcohol. The problem is in some individuals, yes, that is more of a slow taper and might in some people ameliorate the withdrawal. In others, it can sensitize receptor sensitivity and boost it up to a really intense withdrawal. It's variable, I wouldn't know how to...

1:02:03 Adam More people do better with the... That's why the Bloody Mary was invented by the way.

1:02:07 Guest Let's be honest.

1:02:09 Adam Joanne?

1:02:10 Caller Yeah.

1:02:11 Adam You're 20?

1:02:12 Caller Yeah.

1:02:13 Adam What's up?

1:02:15 Caller Hi, I'm 20.

1:02:18 Drew And you're Joanne?

1:02:20 Caller Yeah.

1:02:22 Caller And I'm bisexual and I like having sex and I'm having a hard time finding partners that can keep up with my interests.

1:02:32 Adam You want a female or a male?

1:02:36 Caller I'm with a girl right now. And I've been with guys before. And I just, my partner seemed to get boring very quickly. And whenever I bring up, I'm sorry.

1:02:48 Drew Boring to you?

1:02:54 Caller And whenever I bring up something new, they're just like, not into it.

1:03:00 Drew Give us an example.

1:03:01 Caller Like anal sex.

1:03:05 Adam With the fellas, right? I mean, we're not talking strap-on, are we?

1:03:13 Caller Well, yeah, that or just like with fingers and anything.

1:03:21 Adam Well, here's the thing most of the time, I find. It's not that they're uptight. It's that you freak them out with your sort of aggressiveness. They think something may be wrong with you.

1:03:32 Drew Yeah, it makes them feel uncomfortable.

1:03:34 Adam Yeah, is there something, something up? Some history, something we should know about?

1:03:39 Caller I've never had like anything weird like happen to me in my life. I've just like always been sexually aggressive or I've been interested in sex.

1:03:50 Adam Where's your dad?

1:03:52 Caller What is he?

1:03:53 Adam Where is he?

1:03:54 Caller Oh, he's in New York.

1:03:56 Adam He's in New York?

1:03:57 Drew So you don't live with him?

1:03:58 Caller No, I go to school out here.

1:04:01 Adam When did, wait, hold on a second. Are you going to Northridge?

1:04:06 Caller No, I go to-

1:04:07 Adam Pierce?

1:04:07 Caller I go to Fashion Institute.

1:04:09 Adam I see. Oh, that's a fashion institute in Chatsworth?

1:04:12 Caller No, it's in downtown LA.

1:04:15 Caller You live in Chatsworth?

1:04:16 Caller Yeah.

1:04:17 Adam Okay, gotta get out of there.

1:04:19 Drew First door in business.

1:04:20 Caller I hate Chatsworth.

1:04:22 Drew So, you moved from New York. You grew up with your father?

1:04:24 Caller I grew up with my mom.

1:04:27 Drew What happened to your dad?

1:04:28 Caller He has another wife.

1:04:30 Adam Mm, abandoning. Yeah.

1:04:34 Caller I mean, he's been around in my life.

1:04:36 Adam Yeah, now. When did he cut out?

1:04:39 Caller He's always been around. I just moved out a year ago.

1:04:44 Adam When did he cut out?

1:04:45 Caller Oh, before I was born.

1:04:47 Drew Before you were born?

1:04:48 Adam Before you were born.

1:04:49 Drew Did you have other men in your life growing up?

1:04:52 Adam No, your mom never remarried?

1:04:54 Drew No other, she didn't have any boyfriends or anything hanging around?

1:04:58 Caller Like when I got older, she started dating.

1:05:01 Adam But not the whole time, just you and your mom, huh?

1:05:03 Caller Yeah.

1:05:05 Drew And were you exposed to any sexually explicit material or anything of that nature at a young age?

1:05:10 Caller Not really. Actually, I grew up in Caltech school and I was very sheltered from a lot of things.

1:05:18 Adam So, when did you start becoming interested in women?

1:05:22 Caller When I was like 13.

1:05:25 Drew Were you with a woman then?

1:05:28 Caller No, I wanted to be, but first time was like in high school when I was 15.

1:05:32 Drew And no weird stuff with children doing stuff to you when you were growing up? Any romantic depression in your family anywhere?

1:05:42 Caller Not that I know of.

1:05:47 Adam You got a motor on you.

1:05:48 Drew Yeah.

1:05:49 Adam Once in a while it happens.

1:05:50 Drew And are you having consequences from your sexuality? Are you doing things you don't want to be doing?

1:05:57 Caller I find myself going out a lot and trying to like find new people I have sex with.

1:06:02 Drew Anybody?

1:06:03 Caller Not just anybody, like, I'm, I like attractive people and, but like, after we hook up, it's just really slow and then I want to progress, I want to like do more things and they're kind of slow about it.

1:06:19 Adam So you just, you want to do more sexually? Yeah. All right, well, look, here's the thing. Here's the problem. You like attractive people.

1:06:28 Caller Yes. You understand?

1:06:30 Adam Attractive people don't put out. They're not as flexible sexually as unattractive people. Unattractive people have to be flexible sexually. That's part of the deal. It really is. You tell a super hot chick, yeah, here, put the donkey outfit on and let me give it to you in the key store.

1:06:48 Drew Isn't there also some?

1:06:49 Adam And she says, screw you. I got some rich producers.

1:06:51 Drew Right, it's kind of a market issue too. It's like, it's not anything interesting to them because it's just, it's like, they have so much available. It's like, yeah, whatever.

1:06:59 Adam It's like, here's the thing. When you're attractive, you do what you want to do sexually. You don't do a whole ton of, I don't want to do this sexually.

1:07:08 Drew Or what other people want you to do.

1:07:09 Adam Or, yeah, yeah, because it's a buyer's market.

1:07:13 Caller Right, exactly.

1:07:14 Adam You know your hot commodity. Seller's market? I don't know what the hell it is. Whatever it is, it's a buyer's market. What's that mean?

1:07:20 Drew Sellers, sellers. She's selling, the hot chick's selling.

1:07:23 Adam Buyer sounds better. Whatever the market is, she'll find some other dude, or some other chick, or some whatever.

1:07:29 Drew Joanne, it's interesting, though. Real quick, a couple quick questions for her. Joanne? Do you have relationships? I mean, real relationships? Is it just about sex?

1:07:38 Caller I've had a relationship a few times, and it doesn't really work out well.

1:07:45 Drew How come?

1:07:48 Caller We just, we get bored.

1:07:50 Drew Yeah, see, there's something going on here.

1:07:52 Adam Joanne, you're, okay, a couple things. Let me just say something, then we'll get rid of Joanne.

1:07:56 Drew Loose the smacks of addiction. There's a smattering of addiction there.

1:07:59 Adam Joanne, I know we say this to everybody, but you're more screwed up than you're willing to admit. There's something going on with you, and I don't know what it is. Maybe it's never having a father. I don't know what it is, but there's part of you that's a little bit angry, and there's part of you that's a little more screwed up. And your thing is like, hey, I'm just sort of open sexually, and I like to have a good time when I'm young, and everyone else can't hang with me, so what's everyone else's problem? It's not everyone else's problem. There's something going on with you, and that's what you need to look into. What you don't need to do is just go find someone who's drunk enough to let you do what you wanna do to them. That's a short-term solution, but not long-term.

1:08:32 Drew If you kind of feel not right and empty, and there's something going on emotionally, then your solution is to use sex as a drug to fill that emptiness, and it never quite gets filled.

1:08:39 Adam And look, people, it's not like we talk about all the time. They're freaked out by the energy, not the act. It's like, look, if I found someone that was exquisitely sane, I would let them put a fire hydrant up my ass. That sounds like a great idea. But it's always the person that seems, it's like your spidey sense starts tingling. It's like, what's going on with this person? And Drew, remember when you would be dating a woman, when you would start realizing they were insane? And then you weren't attracted to them anymore, which is opposite of most people. But what I mean is, as a guy, you'd be like, everything was great, first date, whatever, second date, everything fine. And then something would happen. And it's just a little flash. It's a weird little flashback. It's like in a movie when the CIA brainwashes a guy, but he gets that flash thing of his old life. Start seeing his wife and kids and blood. It's always in black and white, by the way. I don't know why. Mine can't flash back in color. I don't understand. Okay, but here's the thing. Boom, it makes a flash, too, like whoosh. And then burns away again. But you just get the little glimpse of this broad's crazy. You know what I mean? That's what Joanne has given it. She's given off that. Yeah. This broad's crazy. That's what people are responding to. Thank you.

1:09:54 Drew Yes.

1:09:55 Adam Drew, am I right or are you just ready to move on?

1:09:57 Drew No, I'm just thinking that people don't really get those messages clearly unless they're kind of sane or mature. And so she's kind of picking sane people.

1:10:06 Adam You don't have to. There's a part of all humans, I think, that are instinctual and that there's a sort of survival mechanism.

1:10:15 Drew Yeah, but if they're screwed up, they're attracted to all that craziness.

1:10:18 Adam Oh, if they're screwed up. But she says.

1:10:20 Drew She's not picking screwed up people, really.

1:10:22 Adam That's my point. Joanne. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're not picking screwed up people, right?

1:10:28 Caller I did once, and it turned out really badly. And I try to go for the sane people.

1:10:35 Adam You want sane, attractive people, and you want them to do deviant, violent, diabolical things, and they don't want to do it.

1:10:43 Caller Yeah, like, like I.

1:10:44 Caller All right.

1:10:45 Adam That's the whole thing, everybody. When you do crazy things, you gotta find a crazy person.

1:10:50 Caller Jill?

1:10:52 Caller Yes.

1:10:53 Adam Unless you find a sleeper like Drew.

1:10:55 Caller Freaky.

1:10:57 Adam Freaky in the sack.

1:10:59 Caller Oh yeah.

1:10:59 Adam He peels his glasses off.

1:11:01 Caller Look down.

1:11:01 Drew Do do do.

1:11:03 Caller Hello?

1:11:03 Adam Jill, 27, what's up?

1:11:06 Caller Yeah, I just have some questions.

1:11:07 Caller I've been taking a lot of prescription drugs for a while, and I have zero sex drive for about six, seven months now.

1:11:17 Drew Well, that's what depression medicines and various, actually various pharmaceuticals can do that. So what's up?

1:11:23 Caller I've been diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar type two.

1:11:29 Adam What's the rapid cycling?

1:11:30 Drew That you go up and down very, very quickly. Modes fluctuate rapidly.

1:11:36 Caller And I was on lithium for about a year and a half. And that's when I noticed the change in my sex drive about a year into it. And do you think that's a side effect from the lithium or is there something else going on?

1:11:52 Drew Were you only on lithium at the time?

1:11:55 Caller Yes. And I thought that might have been a result from the lithium. And I went to a new doctor and they found out that I was actually rapid cycling instead of just bipolar type two. And they said, Lamictal would be a better choice for me. And so now I'm on Lamictal and Seroquel. And for about two months now, no lithium at all. But I haven't had a change quite yet in the sex drive. And I'm engaged and this puts kind of a lot of pressure on the relationship.

1:12:26 Drew Have you been more depressed lately?

1:12:29 Caller Actually, I was probably very depressed when I was on the lithium for a while.

1:12:35 Caller I was in a really bad job.

1:12:37 Drew And are you a trauma survivor?

1:12:41 Caller No, well, my whole life has been really hard.

1:12:45 Drew That would be trauma, yes?

1:12:46 Adam Yes, well, she's thinking overt stuff.

1:12:49 Drew Yeah, so the bottom line is you've been depressed. That can affect your sex drive. Yes, being a trauma survivor, people can go through periods where they are very sexual and they're very not sexual, sort of bipolar in terms of not just your mood, but also your sexual drive can have a bipolar quality to it. And then finally, yes, lithium can do some things to your sex drive. But in my experience, occasionally the drop in sex drive that I think sometimes associated with lithium, again, it's hard to tell in bipolar patients, can go on for a while after you get off the lithium. So.

1:13:18 Caller Mm-hmm. All right.

1:13:20 Adam Let's take a little break, Drew. When we come back? It was Shar over here, 31 day and the 44 year old boss. Not meeting his needs. Shock therapy. John, it's shock therapy. Erica over here said, Doc says she was at risk for stroke.

1:13:38 Caller Because boyfriend's on the pill.

1:13:40 Drew She's on the pill.

1:13:41 Adam Oh, she's on the pill. All right. And then we got cheated on girlfriend while drinking with buddies. Everyone knows. Let's talk to Joe. It's always fun to talk to a guy who got busted. We'll be right back after this. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. IndyCar drivers have left the hissy and they're going to be at the Fontana Speedway this Sunday. 200 miles an hour plus. Chris, you going, buddy? No?

1:14:23 Caller No.

1:14:24 Adam Got to study?

1:14:26 Caller Got a big test.

1:14:28 Adam Big test.

1:14:29 Drew What's the topic now?

1:14:30 Caller What are you working on?

1:14:32 Caller Math, I don't know.

1:14:33 Adam Just math?

1:14:33 Drew Real numbers?

1:14:36 Caller Yeah, that's a lot.

1:14:37 Adam Yeah, you'll be in Harvard in no time. Yeah, look buddy, go ahead and just focus on the radio. You don't need all that schooling. You don't need that. Fall back on two units of high school math that you took in college? That's it's really, once you just put a, I'll tell you what you should do. Take a hoe and place it forward and place it up on its back so you can land on that. That'd be a better thing to fall back on than a junior college education. You really would be better off, just take a gardener's hoe, flip it up so the pointy side is up, put it so it lands somewhere around T5, and fall back on that. Better than falling back on a junior college education.

1:15:19 Drew Yes, Joe?

1:15:20 Adam Garden hoe?

1:15:21 Drew Can I just graduate to a university? Yes, that's the plan.

1:15:25 Caller Yeah. How old are you, buddy?

1:15:28 Drew 21.

1:15:29 Adam You're a math guy, what are you, like 28? 28?

1:15:33 Drew 27.

1:15:34 Adam 27. Alright, 27. You got another year or so of JC before?

1:15:39 Caller Let's hope, yeah.

1:15:41 Adam Alright. You graduated high school when you were, what, 24?

1:15:45 Drew I was 23.

1:15:47 Adam 18, right? It's going to be 85 when he enters his freshman dorm.

1:15:53 Drew He'll do it anyway.

1:15:54 Adam He's going to rush a friend in his 90s. Alright, it's going to be awesome. Joe?

1:16:00 Caller Joe.

1:16:02 Adam Joe, 26.

1:16:03 Caller Yes.

1:16:04 Adam Cheated on girlfriend.

1:16:06 Caller Yes.

1:16:07 Adam While drinking with your buddies.

1:16:09 Caller Well, I mean, it's kind of a little bit more in-depth than that. Me and my buddies are in a band and we, you know, we go out, play shows, we get drunk, stuff like that. And girls love guys that are in bands, you know what I mean? I mean, like, it doesn't matter how bad you suck if you're in a band. What is that?

1:16:29 Drew What is that about women?

1:16:30 Adam I don't know. But it's funny during the commercial, I was like, this would be a good call. And Drew is like, yeah, but those guys are always such jackasses. Joe, what's the name of the band?

1:16:44 Caller Infusion.

1:16:45 Adam Yeah.

1:16:46 Drew Infusion.

1:16:48 Adam What kind of music you guys play?

1:16:50 Caller Kind of like Cold or Breaking Benjamin, stuff like that.

1:16:55 Adam So you guys like Breaking Benjamin?

1:16:58 Caller Yeah.

1:16:59 Adam I got their best of.

1:17:01 Caller Oh yeah? Yeah.

1:17:04 Adam Yeah. It's BBB. It's BBB. It's the best of Breaking Benjamin. These guys are awesome. I like them back in the 80s when they had the original lineup, but they're good. I've caught them a few times at Red Rock.

1:17:18 Drew I like Manudo. I just keep filing new guys through.

1:17:21 Adam Yeah.

1:17:21 Drew So Joe, what's the question?

1:17:22 Adam Hold on. Engineer Chris, you know Breaking Benjamin?

1:17:25 Caller Yes.

1:17:26 Drew Really?

1:17:28 Adam How many engineers do we have now?

1:17:29 Drew Two.

1:17:31 Caller There's another one.

1:17:31 Adam Anderson. Anderson, you know Breaking Benjamin?

1:17:34 Drew No.

1:17:35 Caller All right. Well, wow.

1:17:37 Adam It's the only answer by the way Chris has ever known.

1:17:39 Drew How is that?

1:17:40 Adam What are you doing tonight?

1:17:41 Drew Because we play them.

1:17:42 Adam Oh, you play them.

1:17:43 Drew He listens to K-Rock, I don't.

1:17:44 Caller Yeah.

1:17:45 Adam Oh, come on.

1:17:45 Caller I listen to K-Rock all the time.

1:17:50 Adam Joe.

1:17:51 Caller Yeah.

1:17:52 Adam So you guys sound like Breaking Benjamin. Has Breaking Benjamin been on the show?

1:17:55 Caller No.

1:17:55 Adam All right. Well, it can't be that big. All right. So anyway. So you're in a band. The band's doing okay. Chicks dig a guy in a band. And you got girlfriends and you cheated. How'd they find out?

1:18:11 Caller Well, I mean, it was kind of like hearsay. And she found out and wasn't a good thing. And now I don't know what to do because I...

1:18:21 Adam Let's do a little reenactment, Drew.

1:18:25 Drew So you got girls. So what happened?

1:18:27 Adam Well, we're in a band.

1:18:29 Drew And you see you cheated. Girlfriend found out. And?

1:18:33 Adam Well, and? And we're in a band.

1:18:37 Drew And I'm sort of like hearsay.

1:18:39 Adam No, I asked how she found out, goofball. Drew, please. Drew, do the, come on, do the reenactments.

1:18:45 Drew I didn't ask that. I was so busy.

1:18:46 Adam I said, how did your girlfriend find out?

1:18:48 Drew I didn't even think.

1:18:50 Adam Reenactment.

1:18:51 Drew So you had a girlfriend, you cheated. What happened?

1:18:54 Adam I cheated.

1:18:55 Drew So what happened?

1:18:56 Adam Ask me how she found out.

1:18:58 Drew That was my next question because you asked it three times.

1:18:59 Adam Oh, but the love of Christ, you can't do a reenactment.

1:19:02 I asked how I goddamn found out.

1:19:04 Drew How'd you find out?

1:19:05 Adam Ah, forget it. Jesus Christ, what am I? I'm book-handed by tards here.

1:19:11 Caller I can't escape.

1:19:12 Adam It's like a Tartar Lodge.

1:19:16 Caller All right, Joe.

1:19:18 Drew So what's the question, Joe?

1:19:20 Adam Yeah, don't ask Drew to repeat it, by the way.

1:19:23 Caller You want to, I fed you the line.

1:19:25 Drew I know, you asked twice and then you asked, how'd you find out?

1:19:28 Adam If you heard it, then why didn't you?

1:19:31 Drew Oh, the first time I didn't hear it, but then after you fed me the line, I did.

1:19:37 Caller I just want to know what I should do. I mean, she's dead.

1:19:41 Adam You're in a band, right?

1:19:42 Caller Right.

1:19:43 Adam It's easy to get chicks. You're 26, you're not ready to stop.

1:19:46 Drew You should have a girlfriend.

1:19:47 Adam Why put that kind of pressure on you? As a matter of fact, this whole finding out you cheated sort of thing is a nice beginning to an end for the two of you.

1:19:57 Drew For their girlfriend, yeah.

1:19:58 Caller But I love her though, you know, I mean. I didn't mean to do what I did, I was just drunk and it happened.

1:20:04 Drew Yeah, well, there you go. That's the way to treat somebody you love.

1:20:06 Adam How, I mean, really, do you love her? You just said you're in a band, it's easy to get chicks. How long have you been with this chick?

1:20:14 Caller Five years.

1:20:15 Adam Five years. And how old is she?

1:20:18 Caller 25.

1:20:19 Adam 25. And you sure? I mean, you know what the band takes off and you guys start going on the road and everything, you're in here talking to us. We're not remembering this conversation. You know what I mean?

1:20:32 Drew Yeah, I just think if you're in a band and you're traveling and your behavior speaks volumes about where you're really at. I mean, if you truly love this woman and it was a commitment in your life, you wouldn't be as apt as, I know, I know.

1:20:45 Adam That guy could get loaded and succumb to, you know, the witchy ways of a woman.

1:20:50 Drew If it was just one of these ridiculous things you have tremendous regret for and it's maybe even associated with alcohol issues, then ask forgiveness and recommit yourself to the relationship. But I don't think that's gonna happen. Right.

1:21:03 Adam I'll give it a try. And you're gonna do it again, though.

1:21:07 Drew I think so.

1:21:07 Adam Yeah. Char? You're 31? Char Short for something like Charlene or something?

1:21:16 Drew Yeah.

1:21:16 Caller Charlena. Charlena.

1:21:19 Caller Charlena. All right.

1:21:20 Adam What's going on?

1:21:23 Caller Well, I'm kind of at a dilemma in my relationship. He's very critical of me and my friends and I've been friends with some guys growing up throughout my whole life. We've been friends for like 20 years and he has really big problems with me having friends that are guys. I have friends that are girls also too, but.

1:21:50 Adam Your boyfriend?

1:21:51 Caller Yes.

1:21:53 Adam He's got problems with you having friends that are guys.

1:21:56 Caller Well, yeah. And then actually just recently, he started telling me about one of my girlfriends was telling him that I liked this guy and he liked me and we couldn't wait to see each other again. And she says she did not say that. He says she did.

1:22:15 Adam Let me stop you here. You're 31, he's 44. You got a combined age of 75.

1:22:21 Drew Aren't we done with the... I love a Christ.

1:22:23 Adam This is a teen beat hotline.

1:22:25 Drew And your girlfriend...

1:22:26 Adam What's going on with you two idiots?

1:22:26 Drew Your girlfriend's into the guy and trying to sabotage your relationship. It really sounds like 18 year old behavior.

1:22:31 Caller She hates him. She hates him. Nobody wants me to be with him. Why not? Cause he's so controlling. At least they think that he is. I kind of do too. I mean, he has the problem with my children's dad coming over to pick him up and sitting and visiting us for 10 minutes. Your children's dad? He has a problem with my friends that are guys. He doesn't want me to see them at all unless he's there.

1:22:59 Drew Your children's dad, not your ex-husband.

1:23:01 Caller So what was that?

1:23:03 Drew The children's dad is not your ex-husband?

1:23:06 Caller Yes, he is.

1:23:08 Drew He is your ex-husband?

1:23:09 Caller Yeah.

1:23:09 Drew How long were you married for?

1:23:11 Caller I was with him eight years.

1:23:13 Drew Why'd that break up?

1:23:15 Caller A brain injury that he received.

1:23:19 Caller Really?

1:23:19 Caller Yeah.

1:23:20 Adam From your frying pan or what happened?

1:23:23 Caller He fell 30 feet from scaffolding. I rounded on his head.

1:23:26 Caller Yeesh.

1:23:29 Caller Well, we stayed together three years after that, but it just caused such a trauma like that. It really turned your world upside down, you know?

1:23:37 Caller Whoa.

1:23:38 Caller And it just totally changed.

1:23:41 Adam Is he on disability now?

1:23:43 Caller He does have an impairment, but he's still actually able to work, just not the line of work that he was doing.

1:23:49 Drew Which was what?

1:23:50 Caller Painting.

1:23:51 Drew Painting, can't do that.

1:23:53 Caller And we are friends.

1:23:55 Adam By the way, the people have been dead for 30 years who can paint. By the way, if you can't paint... Yeah, you can't sit up. People paint, you know, they paint with their mouth. They put a brush in their mouth, they can paint.

1:24:10 Drew They paint with their feet.

1:24:11 Adam They paint with their feet, yeah, I saw that. Saw that movie.

1:24:14 Drew Sure, this whole thing, I don't know, what do you want from us? What are you asking of us? It sounds like very adolescent behavior. That's all we're here for.

1:24:22 Adam That guy sounds like an A-hole. Sounds like your dad was probably an A-hole. You're stupid for sticking with him, but what are we gonna do?

1:24:28 Drew On the other hand, you sort of have desperate circumstances where you have this horrible trauma. You're trying to contend with it.

1:24:32 Caller Is it realistic? That's what I'm wondering. I mean, is it realistic for me to see my friends on his schedule?

1:24:39 Adam But look here, let me.

1:24:41 Caller Or am I being disrespectful and not treating it like a relationship?

1:24:45 Drew No.

1:24:45 Caller He thinks I'm not treating it like a relationship.

1:24:47 Drew Is there some ethnic problem here or something? Does he have a certain cultural attitude about things?

1:24:53 Caller Not that I know of. I mean, he kind of dropped out of religion, but he basically does have religious belief.

1:25:03 Adam He's not one of these wacky, oppressive nationality types.

1:25:06 Caller He's been married three other times.

1:25:09 Drew Oh, come on.

1:25:10 Adam Three other times?

1:25:10 Drew You really want to bet on those odds?

1:25:12 Adam What's he do?

1:25:13 Caller Well, yeah, that's kind of-

1:25:14 Caller He's in construction?

1:25:15 Caller Of course he says it's his last wife, which he actually just was breaking up with when we got together.

1:25:22 Drew Of course, nothing's his responsibility. What does he do for a living?

1:25:25 Caller He manages a food, whatever you call it, a food store.

1:25:33 Drew Do you work for him? A market? Do you work for him?

1:25:36 Caller I cater for them, yeah.

1:25:38 Drew And he's your boss and he's having a relationship with you? You don't have a problem with that? Look, this is a bad situation. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

1:25:51 Caller Yeah, well, he's not with her no more.

1:25:53 Drew Yes, but he's still your, then he needs to fire you too and make you his girlfriend and not somebody he manages. It's not okay for him to have a dual relationship with you. That is not okay. There's a power imbalance there. It's basically sexual harassment you're dealing with.

1:26:06 Adam Power imbalance. So the company consists of one van and a pimento loaf.

1:26:12 Drew But still, he can't do that. That's a form of sexual harassment. It's inappropriate.

1:26:16 Adam Listen, Shara, I don't like this guy.

1:26:18 Drew No, no.

1:26:19 Caller Well, am I being rude?

1:26:20 Adam No. Rude, I don't know. Look, what happened?

1:26:23 Caller What happened?

1:26:25 Adam Shut up, listen to me. What happened to your horrible self-esteem? What happened to you?

1:26:29 Caller I've had a bad life. I can hear it.

1:26:33 Guest I can hear your voice.

1:26:34 Caller I put one in prison. Good.

1:26:38 Drew Well, you still have yourself, you're still attracted to abusive a-holes. You've got to break that pattern. The guys that are attractive that way, stay away from. Sure.

1:26:46 Adam On behalf of your two children.

1:26:49 Drew Two?

1:26:50 Caller Three.

1:26:50 Adam Yeah.

1:26:52 Caller Three girls. Oh.

1:26:55 Adam We got some strippers on the way, everybody. Sit down. I'm going to the bar right now. I'm going to get a good seat. Hope I guess the right poll. I've been burned before, Drew. They're five. They'll be coming here in about 14 years. By the way, a lap dance could be $482. It's going to be the year 2015.

1:27:21 Caller Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:27:23 Drew What does it cost for a lap dance?

1:27:24 Adam No, but don't play stupid, Drew.

1:27:25 Drew I have no idea.

1:27:26 Adam Listen, I'll explain. A lap dance is $20, as I've said before, because that's what comes out of an ATM.

1:27:33 Drew 10 bucks in Pittsburgh.

1:27:35 Adam 10 bucks in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh must have ATMs that spit out 10s.

1:27:39 Drew Is it like a three minutes or one minute or five minutes?

1:27:42 Adam It's the length of a song, but I swear to Christ, they compress those songs.

1:27:47 Drew Well, it makes sense that they're trying to make money. They should compress them, right?

1:27:50 Adam They tighten them up.

1:27:51 Drew But your friends still stand.

1:27:52 Adam Stairway to Heaven was a minute 33 seconds. This time I got a line of dance.

1:27:56 Drew In a Gada DeVita, 45 seconds.

1:27:57 Adam 45 seconds.

1:27:58 Drew And your friends still finish though in that.

1:28:00 Adam Here's what In a Gada DeVita sounds like in a strip club. Bum, bum, ba, na, na.

1:28:06 Caller That's it for that.

1:28:07 Adam Now, Stairway to Heaven.

1:28:08 Caller There's a lady.

1:28:09 Caller Okay, that one, that one there.

1:28:12 Adam Now, Freebird. Okay, we're done with that one. Yeah, that's how it works.

1:28:16 Drew And the guys are just, 20, 20, 20, 20.

1:28:17 Adam You just gotta keep peeling it. Yeah, once in a while you get a short song. Or you get that thing where you start getting the lap dance like halfway into the song. Then it's unclear, like, oh, do we get halfway into the next song? Like, cherry pie's coming. Do I get halfway into cherry pie? Do I get into the bridge of cherry pie? Drew? It's a science. And it's a business, do not kid yourself. All right, so listen, Shar, I can hear in her very oppressed voice that she was abused and abused consistently. And now she's gotten a little healthier and found a guy who's only mildly abusive.

1:28:52 Drew Here's the other, these guys that you perceive as powerful and because they're controlling and they seem to be very interested in blustery, they're just abusive a-holes. They're not powerful as they're not gonna protect you. They're going to exploit you and abuse you.

1:29:06 Adam Yes, all right. Let's say exploit and abuse the urinal, shall we?

1:29:10 Drew Yeah, please.

1:29:11 Adam Take a quick break, be right back after this. It's Love Line, I'm Adam Ness. All right. Back to the phones we go. Yes, Drew? Here we go. Kyle?

1:29:49 Caller Yeah, how you guys doing?

1:29:50 Adam You're 24. What's up?

1:29:52 Caller Oh, all right, man. I actually had two questions. The first one, I want you to answer the first question, Adam. And I will ask you the question I have for you guys. I want to know, I heard you talk a lot about you had crummy jobs coming up, and I want to know what was the first steps you took, and what was the first job that you had when you started to get over to entertainment, and finally in the radio.

1:30:16 Adam Yes, I had, it says here, your construction labor. You're just picking up garbage?

1:30:21 Caller Well, I'm environmental, I'm basically glorified garbage man for GIO. Take care of all your waste.

1:30:26 Adam Oh, well, is it a union gig?

1:30:30 Caller Yes, yesterday it was a new company where I got with them, a brand new union, terrible job, and I got with them when I was 19, been there five years, went on six, and I got a new job, of course, and I told them, you know, I want to get with a company that I can grow with, one that has a degree in environmental. Sounds like it's way ahead of you, Adam.

1:30:54 Adam You're way ahead of where I was. I was just working under the table, digging footings underneath like crappy, condemned apartments in East LA doing earthquake rehab. Ooh, a lot of earthquakes going on.

1:31:05 Drew Yeah, it's weird, man, a couple today.

1:31:06 Adam We'll get into that in a second. So look, how does one make the transition from a crappy job into a good job? All right, I'm putting them on hold for a second. Here's what I wanna say. Drew, we've had this discussion many times. If you have a crappy day gig and you come home and you drink six pack and you watch Bachelor and you pass out on the sofa, you will maintain that crap. That is maintaining. That is, here's what it is. That is the exercise equivalent to running two miles on a treadmill twice a week. You're not gonna get fat, but you're not gonna look like Mr. Olympia. You're calling and wanting to know. People wanna know, well, how do you look great? You take your shirt off at the beach and you have the six pack and everything. Well, that's work. That's not maintaining. And look, most of the planet maintains. That's what they do. Where they're in a constant holding pattern. And then sometimes, quiet, Drew looked like he was gonna say something for a second.

1:32:09 Drew I was thinking about something.

1:32:10 Adam Sometimes, don't share it with anyone.

1:32:12 Drew No, don't worry.

1:32:12 Adam Not even yourself.

1:32:13 Drew It's gone. Gone.

1:32:15 Adam I don't believe you. I think you're thinking about it now.

1:32:17 Drew I'm trying to get it back.

1:32:18 Adam Get it out. Okay.

1:32:19 Drew Did a 20, oh, I forgot.

1:32:20 Adam Sometimes people put themselves in a position where they can't get to the gym at night, to use my analogy, to continue with it, which is to have a couple of kids.

1:32:31 Drew Yes.

1:32:32 Adam Sometimes there's just hardship stuff where their mom's sick and they have to take care of her.

1:32:37 Drew Life intervenes. Or there's another piece of that where you don't prioritize properly. You're too busy spinning your wheels and things that you can't really make the time for things that might build for the future.

1:32:47 Adam That's kind of what I'm saying, which is a lot of people get a job, they come home and then they do whatever. They play Dungeons and Dragons, they watch TV, they smoke a bong load, they go to bed.

1:32:58 Drew Especially at 24, you've got time.

1:33:00 Adam You've got time to develop something. Number one, don't get yourself into a situation where you're coming home and you have to read bedtime stories to nine kids and take care of the wife and all that kind of stuff. Free yourself up. That's number one. Don't get yourself locked into that. Then number two, when you come home, work's done and you gotta start working on the new gig. And that could be nighttime classes, that could mean acting classes, that could be open mic down at the improv. If you want to do comedy, that could be just writing. If you want to be a writer, whatever it is, now it's time to go to work for a second time.

1:33:34 Drew They can't see though, that they can't see where that's going. They have to really like doing it, so they just develop it and all of a sudden, opportunities emerge.

1:33:42 Adam The problem with that is it may not be going anywhere. Right. And there's no guarantees. And it's really hard to have someone say, do a hundred push-ups. And you go, oh, why, for my chest? But there's no guarantee you'll get any extra muscle out of it. It might be as if you never did them. How about that? Just do them. Now you're still gonna do them? Show me the guy who does it with that. I'll show you the guy who ends up getting the job he wants. Most people want the reward. They want the reward at the end of every challenge.

1:34:12 Drew And they'll burn out after a few months.

1:34:14 Adam Right.

1:34:14 Drew You have to sustain that kind of thing for years.

1:34:16 Adam Right. I, however, did none of those things. My father is the president of radio. And we figured out with Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, producer, Lauren Owen, Chris. Yeah, it's who you know. Yeah. So me, I knew Jimmy Kimmel, except for I never knew Jimmy Kimmel. People don't realize, by the way, there's times, there was a time before I knew Dr. Drew, there was a time before I knew Jimmy Kimmel, and it was not the eighth grade. You understand? It was the eighth grade, but it carried over until I was 30.

1:34:48 Drew Heesh.

1:34:49 Adam Yeah. And then some. Yes, Drew?

1:34:51 Drew Yes. Good times.

1:34:53 Adam All right. So the point is, is everybody out there, if you don't like your day gig, you gotta work on your night gig at night. And then, and not only this, it's not even free. Sometimes it costs money. You have to take classes, you have to enroll, you have to wish in.

1:35:07 Drew I was thinking about my kids who are 11 and the academics are hitting the ground running in these days, and they're gonna be at it for 12 years to get to somewhere. And killing themselves for 12 years.

1:35:17 Adam Well, I was gonna say, not 12 years, because, let's see, sophomore year, one of them jumps off the bell tower.

1:35:23 Drew Okay, there you go.

1:35:24 Adam Let's face it.

1:35:25 Drew If they-

1:35:25 Adam Drew's called, wants to know why they're only carrying a 4.2.

1:35:29 Drew Yes.

1:35:29 Adam You're never gonna get into medical school.

1:35:31 Drew They're not gonna jump, they're gonna start firing off it.

1:35:33 Adam Oh, yeah, Drew's gets, yeah, Drew's, Paulino, the girl, will be firing off the bell tower. And the boys may jump, but the girls will take people with them. She'll take her ice skates, take her ice skates.

1:35:50 Drew But the point is, it's years and years and years of work to get in a position where maybe they get a decent job. And the same thing happens if you start at 21. You gotta apply yourself for a long time for things to keep developing.

1:36:02 Adam And do it because that's what you wanna do, though, by the way.

1:36:05 Drew Because you're right.

1:36:05 Adam You're better because there's probably not gonna be, you're gonna be panning up in the river with your donkey for a number of years before you get that nugget of gold.

1:36:14 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:36:16 Drew Mm-hmm.

1:36:17 Adam Or you go the route that engineer Chris goes. It's 40 years of junior college, one unit at a time. One painful unit at a time.

1:36:25 Drew Right, right, right.

1:36:26 Adam Earliest class, noon. Latest class, noon.

1:36:30 Caller There's one class.

1:36:32 Adam Class average starting time and ending time. Oh, average ending one o'clock.

1:36:38 Drew Well, first and last class starts at noon.

1:36:40 Adam First and last, noon.

1:36:44 Caller You gotta start somewhere. What's the college again?

1:36:48 Drew Oh, Elac.

1:36:49 Caller Elac.

1:36:50 Adam Doesn't even sound like it. Sounds like the name of an alien from a alienous sitcom from the 70s. I'm Elac. Oh, hi, Elac. Do you smoke? Only when I drink cheap oil. And then big laugh track, Drew.

1:37:05 Drew Now we're doing a laugh track. A talk show.

1:37:07 Adam Yeah. All right. Let's take a little shout out to Elac and all the homies. They really gotta start building grave. They need to put graveyards. That's what I'm gonna do. When I'm in charge, Drew, I put graveyards at the JC. Ooh. And every day-

1:37:22 Drew Is that as a reminder?

1:37:23 Adam Yes. Every day when you walk up that front passage, graves of all the people that never made it out of there. Subtle, not so subtle reminder. Take a quick break.

1:37:33 Drew Be right back.

1:37:34 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me.

1:37:36 Caller So what's up?

1:37:40 Caller But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

1:37:49 Drew 877-889-DATE.

1:37:53 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:37:57 Caller This hour brought to you in part by Axe.

1:38:09 Adam Yeah, well, that's the show, y'all. Tomorrow night, Boston, the band Boston. I played more air guitar to Boston than any other band. Oh yes, easily. Easily.

1:38:22 Drew I'll also be good tomorrow.

1:38:23 Adam Easily. I mean, Ace of Bass, a distant second, and then Savage Garden, I think would be a third or fourth. That point is Boston, number one, and then the big drop off between the Ace of B and Savage. Gee, abbreviate, I like both bands so much. Savage Garden, by the way, isn't that gay bar? What's going on with that title, Phil? Ho, ho, ho.

1:38:47 Drew You don't hit a lot of run though, huh?

1:38:48 Adam Okay, we'll take a 22 hour break. Until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

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Wednesday, September 29, 2004