Episode 1000648072264

0:52 And Dr. Dre.

1:09 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:09 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew.

1:10 Voiceover Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist, and welcome back to the show Interpol. All thanks, Carlos D here tonight. Good to see you guys again.

1:11 Drew Thanks. Hello.

1:11 Adam Drew had figured out exactly when the band was on last.

1:12 Drew Which is a rare alchemy for me, right?

1:15 Adam Yeah, it is, although you gotta, your brain's intact. Drew hasn't smoked much weed. He's done, he's done basically a tanker truck full of blow, but no weed, no weed. And no acid. And hasn't dropped any acid and his brain's intact. You know, he does a little moderate boozing, you know. What are you guys into? Do a little drinking? Little drinking. Little drinking, yeah.

1:42 Interpol Here and there.

1:43 Adam Yeah, that's all right.

1:45 Interpol Here and there and everywhere.

1:47 Adam What's your medicine?

1:48 Adam That's what I tell Drew. The edge is just ever-present, so. Yes. Always gotta get it off.

1:53 Adam Saw the, saw something in USA Today, today, with the, turns out a couple of glasses of red wine. Good for you. Can they shut the F up with these polls already? Every 14 months. Hey, turns out a couple of glasses of red wine. Good for the heart, good for the circulatory. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We heard, we heard, we heard. Uh-oh, drink too much, bad for you. Uh-oh, let me make a note of that. Every, I did, is there some sort of decree that every few months someone has to make a study on coffee and or red wine and then make the proclamation that it turns out it is kind of good for you? In moderation.

2:28 Adam Garlic, garlic is the other one, I think.

2:29 Adam Yeah, garlic's the other one.

2:31 Drew That doesn't speak volumes about the nature of news.

2:33 Adam Yeah, this is-

2:34 Drew Really, bottom line.

2:34 Adam Look, here's the deal, as I've said with many of the peanuts cartoon strips I've seen over the years, you got nothing. You don't have anything, you got nothing. Lucy's holding the ball, Charlie comes up, there's Snoopy's taking a nap and then at the end Snoopy says, I've had better days. That's like, okay, that took up half a page, you got nothing. Put a missing kid in there. Take a missing kid picture and put him in there. Save a tree. Just be honest, like you say to your editor, I got nothing, I got nothing. Look, I only wanna give you the good stuff and I don't have it today, but there's some missing kid in there, put a picture. But what if a newspaper did say, look, when we got nothing, when we got BS, we're just gonna waste your time and so on and so forth. We'll put a picture of a missing kid.

3:16 Adam What about Family Circus and Dennis the Menace? I think in the same category is what you're saying.

3:21 Adam Oh my God, and not only that, and it goes like, it goes, it's everywhere. Penthouse cartoons, Playboy cartoons, they've all given up, just like, sometimes you get like four or five captions or boxes in.

3:32 Drew Sometimes it's just a paycheck Adam.

3:33 Adam You get to the fifth, I know it's what I'm doing now. You get to the fifth box and you go, oh, they had nothing, they didn't have anything. I wish that, by the way, say it at the beginning. How about a little, you know what I want? Here's what I'd like in life. People should give themselves a grade. Like Schultz should say, look, this thing's about a D minus at best. So if you're busy, don't read it. I thought he was dead. Well, from the grave posthumously.

4:00 Drew Here's what we do. Here's Schultz's grade.

4:02 Adam That's how you know it's crappy.

4:03 Drew Log on and give your opinion.

4:04 Adam It's better that he died. Now the cartoon's actually, it's come up a little bit now that he's gone. Bad thing to say about an artist, by the way. Can you imagine if you guys died, Interpol actually got better. It actually improved.

4:16 Adam The songs got better.

4:18 Adam They're a little tighter. Look, Chris, there's something you can tap your foot to. I'm not saying better, but different in a good way. Interpol is gonna be, let's see, they're doing a signing tonight, y'all. They're gonna be down at the Virgin Mega Store on Sunset that's right after this show. Yeah, so right at midnight. Yeah, they're gonna cut out here at about 11, 20, and they're gonna hustle on over there to the Mega Store on Sunset, which has got to be the one that's on Crescent Heights and... Laurel? Laurel? Yeah, well, that's Crescent. Well, it turns into Crescent Heights at a certain point, and I think it's up the hill a little bit. So, you guys excited about that? Yeah. Yes.

5:04 Drew Let's hold them back, Adam.

5:08 Adam We flew from Rome today.

5:10 Drew Oh, God.

5:11 Adam Rome to New York. We got a lot of LA.

5:13 Drew Oh, my God.

5:14 Adam So, this is just a sort of surreal, dream-like state.

5:17 Interpol Yeah. Actually, it should be roughly around 8 a.m. for us right now, because it's 8 a.m. in Rome.

5:24 Drew Did you sleep on the plane?

5:25 Adam I did.

5:26 Drew Yeah, good.

5:27 Interpol I got a couple hours, but those hours don't really count. No.

5:30 Adam No, I slept all the way through Walking Tall, or what's the name?

5:34 Interpol Oh, really?

5:34 Adam The Rock.

5:35 Interpol That's actually a good thing. Slept clear through it.

5:38 Adam I'll tell you, this is why we guys, we fly in business, first class, coach, where we're...

5:43 Interpol We don't divulge those kinds of things.

5:45 Adam First, for all intents and purposes.

5:48 Adam Yeah, no, when people don't say, do they not want the fans to think they're sellouts so they're actually flying first class and don't want to say?

5:55 Interpol For their embarrassment. For their embarrassment.

5:57 Adam For the sake of something to talk about, the reality, yeah, it was coached. And on the flight from New York, it was so small. It was, there was, you know, sometimes planes are a little different than other planes. And it was really small.

6:08 Drew That's bad times.

6:09 Adam It's bad, although you guys aren't behemoths. So that's a good thing. I don't mean you're dwarfs.

6:15 Drew How dare you?

6:19 Adam A coach airline seat is made for five, nine and below. And you start getting into the six, two plus range and you start getting some of these healthy guys in there and then they're eating their knees all the way out there.

6:33 Drew And their skin's breaking down just from where their butt's touching those.

6:36 Adam Oh yeah. Oh yeah. They get the flesh-eating virus. Just a short shot just here to Phoenix. We may have to peel you like a glove when we get you. There, yeah. No, the difference between coach and first class size-wise is the difference between a guy who's six, three, six, four and a chick who's five, five. Right? Yeah? Your midget, every flight is first class. So I'm serious. Think about that. If I were a midget, all I'd be doing is flying. That's all I'd do. I'd probably be a pilot. Midget pilot. Yeah, it would freak people out. That would be a great gag to do. Just full on pilot outfit, but mini me. Just walking all the way down the aisle.

7:19 Drew First you have, no, no, first you have just looking over shoulder talking to people. No, no, no. And then he spins around and jumps off.

7:23 Adam No, first he's outside the plane, kicking the tires and the tires up over his head. He's jumping up trying to touch the flaps. That would be awesome. Just midget. You see the phone book in there on his pilot seat. You guys would fly though, right? Just, you had special, special hand controls made. Made with some wood blocks. Yeah, everyone's fine. They have to try harder. We're going to hear a song from Interpol in this first hour. And what else am I missing here? Tonight Show. You guys done the Tonight Show before, yes? Yes, that's correct. Good. And, uh, it's, uh, is it, is it all? I mean, um, how is it for a band to play that show?

8:07 Adam He's good. He, uh, he came into the dressing room the first time we did it and said hello. And it, it, it seemed sincere.

8:15 Adam Yeah.

8:15 Adam He was, uh, you know, he's got a warm personality and he actually does seem like he's not just going through the motions.

8:19 Adam Wearing a denim shirt, no doubt.

8:21 Adam Yeah, he was pretty laid back. And he's got a nice car.

8:24 Adam Yeah. Which one was he driving?

8:25 Adam It was the Yellow Vet at the time.

8:27 Adam Oh, yeah.

8:28 Adam Yeah, that's right. It's got 500 horsepower written on the side of the car, which is just, it was a nice thing. Good for him.

8:33 Adam You know what makes you want to puke is, uh, the richer you get, the more people want to give you crap. You know, it's like, oh, uh, Dave, uh, this is our 10,000th, uh, Harley Davidson. We had a custom, I had a custom forge for you. Your initials are in it. It's like, oh, free. Yeah, he gets that crap for free. They want to say that the company, you got like the first, uh, he got the first GT Ford that just came out. You get the front of the list for everything, Drew.

9:01 Interpol I get free spaghetti and meatballs from the guy down the street from where I live.

9:05 Adam Oh, really?

9:06 Interpol And that's a big perk.

9:07 Drew That is nice.

9:08 Adam Yeah, yeah.

9:09 Drew But no.

9:10 Interpol But I think I agree with you, I shouldn't be getting free spaghetti.

9:13 Adam You don't need it.

9:13 Interpol Because I don't need it.

9:14 Drew The kid with the guy in the refrigerator box out behind the restaurant needs the free of...

9:19 Adam I mean, listen, here's really life in a nutshell. Think about the gift basket. From age 0 to age 30, I never received a gift basket. Not counting the decorative popcorn tin that my uncle Vince and Aunt Pat got me that I ended up defecating in because my stepmom locked me in the garage for a summer. But other than that...

9:41 Drew You think he's kidding. Just get the image in your head.

9:44 Adam Other than the $11 worth of popcorn... $11?

9:48 Drew $4.93.

9:50 Adam Let's make it $5. Let's take all $5. Let's be nice to them. That's the only thing I ever got. Now, anything I do, I get the big gift thing. And it's got stuff in it. It's got Cirrus Radio. And it's got Walkman cramps. You just start piling. You start unfiling. Then you start handing it out to people. Not even a dent. Sort of a hassle. Like, now it's in the house. Now I got to deal with it. Hardened.

10:13 Interpol Jaded.

10:13 Adam Just like those meatballs.

10:15 Interpol I know.

10:15 Adam Yeah, it's great. How can we do that, Drew? How can we not be jaded? I'm not jaded. Yes, you are. Okay. I know. You know why? Because you're keeping it real. What are we doing?

10:28 Taking calls. Let's go.

10:31 Drew Let's go.

10:32 Adam Let's break it down. What are we missing from Interpol here? Conan on the 8th, by the way. Tonight Show. That's Leno on the 1st. And then my beloved Jimmy Kimmel on the 26 of October. Have you done Jimmy Kimmel before? It's a good time.

10:45 Drew And you haven't announced the name of the CD.

10:47 Adam Oh, Antics is the name of the CD and we'll be hearing a cut off of Antics. It doesn't bother you that we could pay the same, huh? You put in half a syllable for every...

10:58 Interpol That's not true, though.

10:59 Adam For every dictionary of words.

11:01 Interpol Because when the calls start coming in...

11:02 Drew There you go. That's why you won't let us... Let's go to the call.

11:05 Interpol When you guys were on TV, I was listening to this guy.

11:07 Adam Yeah. Oh, okay. But you were making me laugh.

11:10 Interpol You were making me laugh.

11:14 Adam Save. Andrea?

11:17 Dance out of dance.

11:20 Adam Andrea, you're 18. What's up?

11:24 Caller I've been with my boyfriend for like a year and a half now. And I feel like I'm like really dependent on him.

11:34 Drew You're 18. How old is he?

11:35 Caller He's 19. 19.

11:36 Drew And what do you mean dependent? What do you mean dependent?

11:43 Caller I really can't hear you that good. You guys keep cutting out.

11:46 Caller What do you mean?

11:48 Adam Let's cut our losses. Let's move forward. She's dependent on her 19-year-old boyfriend.

11:52 Drew We'll find out what that means. I don't know what they... It's an 18-year-old lingo. Like what?

11:58 Caller Like he... He'll treat me really bad sometimes and be really mean to me. And I'll just kind of take it. And like I know an attractive girl and I can find other guys. I just feel like I have to be with him for some reason.

12:14 Adam He's a bad boy.

12:15 Drew Because your dad may have been sort of treating you the same way. And that's your idea of what closeness and intimacy is. Yeah. And that's not okay. That's not a good thing. It's not a healthy thing. And unfortunately, when you've been traumatized by your parents as a child, strangely enough, those things that are so traumatizing to us becomes attractive, like insanely attractive, like you're saying you have to be with it.

12:36 Adam Yeah.

12:36 Drew And if you've had that history, you should really learn how to read those attractions and maybe stay away from people you're super attracted to that way, because it will be the same thing over and over and over again.

12:46 Adam Yeah. What part of Missouri are you calling from? So I'm sure there's a therapist on every corner of St. Charles, Missouri.

12:59 Caller They say nothing is bipolar. Like I come from a broken home and, you know, the typical broken home thing.

13:06 Adam Was your dad abusive?

13:09 Drew Physically and sexually or just physically?

13:11 Caller Just physically and mentally, basically.

13:14 Adam Refreshing these days to hear about physical abuse. Well, that's so quaint.

13:18 Caller It's quaint.

13:20 Adam Sitting on a windbreaker, Andrew. Give your dad something, too. Just physical abuse. He's the father of the year. Three years running in Missouri.

13:27 Drew But, Andrew, maybe get back to the therapist and realize that you need to break this cycle of compulsion with these bad guys. And 18, by the way, it's not an unusual thing for an 18-year-old to need to do this, but if you can't get it out of your system, it's a problem.

13:39 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Best thing. You have sons, Drew. You want to get them laid, right? You tell them to be bad boys.

13:47 Drew Tell them to brood.

13:48 Adam Tell them to brood.

13:49 Drew Wear black and look at the ground and kick the dirt. No.

13:52 Adam Once in a while, they just got to punch their locker. Just punch it. And the girls come up like, What's wrong, Cody? What are your kids' names? I don't remember the kids' names. Kyle, what's wrong? And you're just like, damn, you wouldn't understand. And they make that proclamation. As a matter of fact, I'm going to get my kid a shirt that says, I can't let you in. Dear ladies, I'd like to, but I can't let you in. And they're going to be, but why? It's just a T-shirt. I'll write it with a Sharpie. It'll probably be misspelled. They'll all be wanting to get in. Please let me in.

14:27 Caller I can't.

14:28 Adam I can't chance it.

14:29 Adam I've got to do this by myself.

14:33 Adam There's certain things a man has to do. You're 15.

14:35 Caller I know.

14:37 Adam OK. Yeah, Drew, do that. Get him like a windbreaker.

14:41 Drew No, no, windbreaker.

14:42 Adam No, no, a leather, not a leather windbreaker. Yeah, get him a T-shirt that says, I'm sorry, ladies, I can't let you in. Ladies. And then on the that's on the front. On the back, it says, because you wouldn't understand.

15:00 Drew Jason, 18.

15:02 Adam Yes.

15:03 Drew What's up?

15:03 Adam And then and then other than that, it says, and by the way, it's rambling time. I have to ramble. Check, check. Hyman explodes when they just come walking on a campus. It's the tail. It says you pull it out. You pull it out and it's the knockout punch. Jason.

15:23 Hey, what's up, man?

15:24 Adam What's up? You're 18.

15:26 Caller Yeah, I just have to say, I probably am you guys' first black collar.

15:32 Drew No, no, come on now. We have a few.

15:35 Adam We get hundreds a night, but we never let them throw. It's Drew's policy. He told me not to talk about it on the air. I just feel like I'm going to explode if I don't tell somebody. So, I don't know. Jason, he said, no black guy named Jason. It was cool. Well, you got burns, bro. Go ahead, Jason. I'm sorry about Drew's policy.

15:52 Caller I just want to say I love you guys. But anyway, I've been going out with this girl for about six months now. And we've been having sex about three, four, five times a week. And I basically, she wants to take it further and have a big relationship. She's about, she's 20. I'm 18.

16:14 Drew But why don't you got no play, player?

16:15 Adam No, please.

16:18 Caller But anyway, she's talking about marriage and all that other stuff. All right.

16:26 Adam Well, here's the thing. And you guys chime in. But show me a woman who's dying to get married real early. And I'll show you someone who's sort of looking for a life preserver, trying to get away from something, trying to escape something.

16:37 Drew But in a way, she gives you a perfect out, which is rather than having to have long discussions about are we going to have a relationship or not, you can immediately go to, I am nowhere near marriage.

16:48 Adam Right.

16:48 Drew And if that's a deal breaker for her, then off she goes. Now, if she then downgrades a little bit to, OK, well, let's just have a relationship, well, what do you feel about that?

16:57 Adam Yeah. What if she took the pressure off you, Jason?

17:00 Caller I think it would be all right. I'm just...

17:04 Drew Or, yeah, you're just looking to have sex, right? But 18-year-old, that's what defines a relationship for 18-year-old.

17:09 Adam No, but don't get her pregnant.

17:11 Caller Yeah, of course.

17:12 Drew I'm telling you, nigga, that it would grow into the motor. You would have no problem to get that freaky shit going. 24-7 flowing semen here in your house. In your hizzy. For chizzy.

17:31 Caller So I've been around a lot of white people and the nigga, you gotta stop that.

17:36 Adam Yeah, come on, buddy. You don't do that. Probably someone with a doctorate should know. Alright, you grew up in Rancho Santa Margarita. By the way, how many towns, how many names does the town need? Rancho, Santa, Margarita, should there be a fourth one on there? Okay, so Jason, you cannot get her pregnant, and by the way, if she's a little nutty, this is the kind of broad that tricks you into getting her pregnant. You gotta be careful. I mean, you're having sex five, six times a week. She puts a hole in the diaphragm or whatever it is, doesn't take her pill. You gotta be in charge of this. If she says, I'm taking the pill, she may screw up to try to hook you in.

18:13 Adam There might also be a motive of some kind. Do you know everything about this girl?

18:17 Drew What do you mean?

18:18 Adam Well, why would you, outside of being a life preserver, just in security, there might be a concrete reason, there might be something in her life that makes her feel compelled that she has to lock down a guy right now.

18:31 Adam What about it, Jason? Do you know anything?

18:32 Caller I think her parents broke up, I'm not really sure.

18:40 Drew Look, mother f***er, I'm telling you, don't be a player hater.

18:44 Adam Please, please, stop talking down to her.

18:46 Drew That's the life preserver thing that we're talking about here. And more importantly, she sounds like she's a trauma survivor and has a lot of stuff going on. But be that as it may, she has sort of given you the perfect, I don't want to say out, but by getting crazy, you can say, look, this is a boundary I can set. I'm not getting married. I'm 18. I've got a long life ahead of me. Maybe a relationship, but the reality, an 18-year-old relationship for a male is about the sex. She wants to have something.

19:14 Adam You said enough, Drew.

19:15 Drew But she's going to have one of these things where it's going to be too intense.

19:18 Adam Drew, I'm just cutting you off. I'm scared you're going to drop the end.

19:21 Interpol You guys haven't even asked him about his feelings.

19:24 Drew He keeps saying he just wants to have sex. He said that a couple times. He said he wouldn't mind having a relationship, but an 18-year-old male, that's typical.

19:32 Adam Let's take a question for the band, by the way. Darren?

19:34 Caller Yes.

19:35 Adam 32?

19:36 Caller Yes. Good evening, guys.

19:37 Adam Good evening.

19:39 Caller Adam, Drew, first off, I have to tell you guys, just like everybody, that I've been a big fan for many years and totally enjoy your humor.

19:47 Drew You're gay.

19:49 Caller Definitely not.

19:50 Adam Thank you.

19:52 Caller And I just had a question for Interpol, if I could ask them.

19:56 Drew Hang on, if I could just interrupt Darren for one second. Anderson Hyde tonight, he's on speed. What's going on here?

20:01 Adam He's just happy with the fingers, probably.

20:03 Drew He's going nuts.

20:04 The opportunity was just there a couple of times, that's all.

20:06 Drew And Darren is a little gay sounding. You're usually not that far off.

20:10 Adam Alright, leave him alone. Go ahead.

20:12 Caller Wow, gay and on speed, huh?

20:16 Adam Anderson's on speed. You're gay.

20:18 Drew Alright. You a Mormon?

20:19 Caller Yes, I am. There you go. You got one.

20:26 Adam Hold on a second. We do virtual Adam, in which I don't need to be here. But Drew, I think you could be replaced by a pirate's parrot. You really could.

20:38 Drew Yeah, why not?

20:38 Adam Let's just back off from the mic there for a second. Anderson, can we use a virtual Drew?

20:49 Caller I got so many and I don't have the organize to give a shot.

20:53 Adam Just hit them all.

20:54 Drew Where is he?

20:54 Adam Darren?

20:55 Drew Yes.

20:57 Adam Sorry there. Go ahead, buddy.

20:59 Caller Interpol, I just got a question for you. I noticed that your guys' sound kind of resembles Joy Division, maybe a splash of the Smiths in there somewhere. And I'm just curious what your musical influences are.

21:15 Adam Carlos, you want to field that?

21:16 Interpol Too many to really give you an accurate representation of where those musical influences are working with us musically. I guess that's just not the way we write our songs.

21:29 Adam Well, who did you listen to growing up?

21:31 Adam Importantly, we all write the songs together as four different people and we all have different favorite bands and all come from slightly different musical backgrounds. So none of us favor in the long list of bands that we love those two bands that you mentioned at the top of those lists. But even if we did, it would still only be one person of four that was into it. So it's a lot of different influences that affect our sound.

21:55 Adam Paul, give us your top few bands that you enjoy. Old or new?

22:01 Drew He's just a dick.

22:01 Adam Rolling Stones, Beatles, Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, Nirvana, Jane's Addiction, Cecil Taylor, Eclectic, Carlos, what about you?

22:13 Interpol Off the top of my head, The Cure, Dead Can Dance, Depeche Mode, Iron Maiden, Metallica, Mixed Batch.

22:24 Caller I just wanted to say though, Interpol, you guys are great. I've been playing the crud out of the Bright Lights, turn on the Bright Lights CD, and I'm excited for the new one. Are you guys going to release a live album or a live DVD or something that we can catch you guys off of?

22:43 Adam There's no plans of that nature anytime soon.

22:45 Adam Hey Darren, do you have any callers you're influenced by? Other people.

22:54 Caller No, but Adam, I gotta tell you, Adam, I gotta tell you man, I totally appreciate your fart humor. I mean, you know, I'm 32, I should probably not be giggling over farts, but as soon as I hear one man, you make me giggle, dude.

23:10 Adam Thanks everybody.

23:11 Caller Sure thing.

23:12 Adam Everything from Darren sounds like, at the beginning it said, boy, this is gonna feel good, and then, eh. It's like, you know, it starts off good, but goes a little south right at the end. Thanks Darren, Interpol, here tonight.

23:29 Drew Well, Anderson, I really made the point for you. You know, as I am, he made it such that he didn't have to have any drops, and it could have been like I was here.

23:36 Adam Well, that was a question, that was a question for the band, so that wasn't a fair representation.

23:41 Drew He's gay.

23:42 Adam Uh, Interpol, in here tonight, Antic's name of the new CD, which is out tomorrow, which is tonight, after midnight. Drew, you okay buddy? You're gonna swallow your tongue if you yawn any harder over there. Uh, it's great. It's fantastic doing a radio show every night where you got a guy that basically looks like a bear that just came out of a cave. Just, just... You have to do the novelty size, like the hippo size yawn. You could just put your hand over your mouth or something. Crack your neck, like, what's going on, Drew? These guys just came from Rome, you know. Yeah, you came from Pasadena.

24:22 Drew It's a painful, uncomfortable erection. We'll all be alright.

24:25 Adam Quiet. Interpol, we're going to regroup. We're going to regroup, I'll tell you that. And we'll be right back after this.

24:33 Drew Your rectum falls out of your ass.

24:48 Loveline is brought to you by Sprint PCS with ReadyLink. Lets you link up with your friends fast, walkie talkie style without using your minutes. Only from Sprint PCS.

25:22 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. Interpol here tonight. Paul and Carlos both here, representing the fam. Get the bottle. Seth MacFarlane is coming in tomorrow night. He is the family guy. Drew, very pumped up, gonna be... Yeah, Drew's gonna be representing in this new season of The Family Guy.

25:45 Interpol You're gonna be one of the voices on The Family Guy?

25:47 Drew So far, I've played a dermatologist. They talk about playing the devil.

25:52 Adam We're huge fans of that show.

25:54 Drew We are too, yeah.

25:55 Adam Huge, huge fans. It's the brush I've been looking for.

26:01 Interpol Huge fans is, I think it's an overstatement.

26:04 Adam Well, I'm a huge fan. Ah, there you go.

26:06 Interpol I'm a huge fan.

26:07 Adam Well, then you'd probably know my episode where I played the voice of death.

26:12 Adam Yes, yes.

26:12 Adam Yeah.

26:13 Adam I did, I saw that repeatedly.

26:15 Adam Thank you very much. All right, so Seth will be talking about that tomorrow night. And we're gonna hear something off the Antics, the new CD from Interpol, which is out in about an hour and a half. And these guys are gonna be at the Virgin Mega Store on Sunset doing an in-studio signing coming up 12 o'clock. So they're gonna leave here about 11.30 and hustle it over there and see all you kids and sign your CDs.

26:43 Drew Shall we hear the song?

26:45 Adam Let's take a call. Let's take a call.

26:46 Drew A call.

26:46 Adam Then we hear a song.

26:47 Drew Beautiful.

26:48 Adam All right.

26:49 Drew Here we go.

26:49 Adam All right. Let's talk to Melissa. What about this guy got in a car crash? All right.

26:57 Interpol But that movie crash might have something to do with that movie crash, which was really good.

27:01 Adam It was?

27:02 Interpol You know the whole psychological basis behind this movie crash about how car crashes are somehow turn-ons to people.

27:10 Adam Oh really?

27:10 Interpol And people that would get into car crashes try to relive their car crash. But through a sexual experience. So they show lots of scenes of them looking for wrecked cars and getting in them and like getting off on them.

27:22 Drew Oh my gosh.

27:23 Adam It's like Cronenberg movie with James Spader.

27:24 Interpol Yeah.

27:25 Adam Came out in like, in Rosanna Cat. In 99.

27:27 Adam Yeah, I heard of it, but I didn't.

27:30 Interpol It's so unabashed, it's amazing.

27:32 Adam Is it good?

27:32 Interpol Oh, it's an exquisite movie, yeah.

27:34 Adam It's pretty weird.

27:35 Interpol Yeah, it's creepy.

27:36 Adam Now! I'll rent it. Uh-oh, that means Anderson didn't like it. Anderson, you saw crash?

27:42 Adam Yeah, I thought it was brutal.

27:44 Adam Brutal bad?

27:47 Adam I like the opening title and that was about it. The music and the opening titles was great and then he just missed it.

27:51 I like Cronenberg, but he missed.

27:53 Adam That's a weird, it's a weird movie.

27:55 Adam All right, all right. We'll agree to disagree.

27:57 Adam Sex with Gashes.

27:58 Adam Very bold when you're in another part of the shit again.

28:00 Interpol And Rosanna Arquette is like handicapped, but hot.

28:03 Adam Oh, oh, oh, I remember that, yeah.

28:05 Interpol She has like these weird crutches on, but like she looks hot. That's cause you're, who is that? You're sicko, Carl.

28:11 Adam Oh, Melissa?

28:13 Interpol Darn.

28:13 Hello.

28:14 Adam What's happening? You're 16.

28:16 Caller Yeah, okay. First of all, I wanna say what's up. You guys are great. And I listen to you guys every single night.

28:23 Adam Thanks.

28:25 Caller I've been with my boyfriend for about six months and we've had sex and it doesn't feel good. It just doesn't feel good.

28:36 Drew The intercourse.

28:37 Yeah.

28:38 Drew Meaning it feels bad or you just can't get aroused with it?

28:41 Caller I can't get aroused with it and-

28:43 Drew Do you masturbate?

28:45 Caller Yeah.

28:45 Drew Does that feel good?

28:47 Caller Yeah.

28:47 Drew Do you have orgasms? No.

28:50 Caller No.

28:51 Drew No. Well, 16 year old sex is often not so great for a female. Yeah.

28:57 Adam It's great for a guy.

28:58 Drew A guy, it's the same at 16 as 60 for a guy.

29:02 Adam Yeah.

29:02 Drew That's the strange thing. For a woman, there's gonna be an evolution.

29:05 Adam Here's where it goes bad when you're 60. Chicks 58, that's where it goes bad for the guy. It's good, yeah. It's good 16 to 60 if we can stay with the 16 year old all the way through 60. That's good. But when you're with the 58 year old and the-

29:23 Drew How dare you?

29:24 Adam Vagina looks like a piece of saddle leather. That's bad, Drew.

29:28 Drew It's because you've been saddled.

29:29 Adam Let's face it.

29:30 Drew Panning it all those years.

29:32 Adam Panning that leather. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good though if you can, yeah.

29:36 Interpol I think you're perpetuating a stereotype though.

29:38 Adam You're right, that's wrong, that's wrong.

29:40 Interpol Because I think there's a way that a woman can own into her own sexuality and become sexy because she's older. It's just a little bit more challenging for women than it is for men I think.

29:50 Adam Yeah, no I like that. I like when old women talk about being sexy and I like when fat chicks talk about being sexy. It's like, yeah, okay, out of the way. I gotta find a hot chick. Go be sexy over there.

30:01 Interpol Those two terms are not necessarily in, what's the word I'm looking for?

30:05 Adam Mutually exclusive?

30:06 Interpol Mutually exclusive with hotness.

30:08 Adam Yeah, I know, but guys would like to err on the side of hotness and, I'm sorry.

30:14 Caller Here's the problem.

30:16 Adam My sack would like to err on the side of hotness.

30:18 Drew It always does. Wait, wait, your biology errs on the side of reproductive potential. And so you're always gonna be attracted to symmetry in youth because that's just the way it is. But if you were actually intimately involved with somebody and they're somebody you really are into, you'll still be into them at an older age, at an older age.

30:33 Adam Yeah. So they have like a hot friend or something? Is that your point?

30:39 Interpol Well, sort of, but no, that has to do with love and stuff. But I'm actually just talking about raw lust, which can actually find as its object certain other body types that are not necessarily conventionally known as hot, but are nonetheless hot because the people who occupy those forms make themselves hot by the way they carry themselves.

31:01 Adam It's like Roseanne or a cat with a stroke cane. You know what I mean? It's a little unconventional, but it's still a turn on.

31:07 Interpol I feel bad for the caller who totally, totally lost.

31:10 Adam And the team would get the butter. Maybe Lube would be a suggestion for this young lady.

31:17 Adam Melissa.

31:18 Drew Here's the deal about 16 and female. It's rare to have an orgasm, and it's often that it just doesn't feel that great. Plus, you're dealing with a 16 or 17 year old guy who may not exactly know what to do. And even if he did, for a 16 year old female, the biology isn't syncing up just yet, typically. It's around 20 to 22 when things really start to kick in a little bit, for most. Now, I know there's 10% of women out there going, well, I've been having orgasms since I was eight. Yes, 10%. But for the most part, at 16, it doesn't necessarily feel particularly good.

31:49 Adam The body is willing, but the vagina is weak.

31:52 Drew Yeah.

31:53 Adam At 16.

31:54 Drew But my question, though, always becomes, well, why you having sex if it doesn't feel good?

32:00 Adam Yeah, it's pretty young. But I mean, some women get pain with sex, period. So it might not be something that's going to go away when she's older, or it may well be.

32:08 Drew She didn't say pain.

32:09 Adam I don't know if she said pain, though.

32:10 Drew It just doesn't get sex on the rounds. She said it didn't feel good. But I said, does it feel bad or just not get around? She said, I just don't get around.

32:17 Adam Oh, okay, fine. Yeah, it's totally the guy's not.

32:20 Drew No, no, it's not just the guy. Six-year-old females don't have much response with intercourse. They just, no matter who's the guy doing it.

32:27 Adam Yeah.

32:27 Adam I didn't have, yeah, I never had sex with a 16-year-old.

32:30 Adam Melissa? He'd go 14, 15, skip 16 and go right to 17.

32:35 Drew Or just 15.

32:36 Adam That I did.

32:37 Adam Melissa?

32:38 Yeah.

32:39 Adam All right, so maybe you should not have sex with him if it doesn't feel so bad.

32:42 Caller No, I'm not going to.

32:44 Adam The guy's listening. Try him his moped off a cliff right now.

32:48 Interpol We totally ruined it for you.

32:51 Adam I would put a hit out on me, by the way, if I was him.

32:53 Drew I'm worried about things like that.

32:54 Adam I'm going to roll over to my bare hands. That son of a bitch.

32:57 Interpol How old is the guy?

32:58 Adam He's 17.

32:59 Interpol Oh, yeah, that's definitely what I'm feeling now.

33:01 Adam Does he give you oral sex?

33:04 Drew That's a place to start the exploration.

33:08 Interpol Yeah, but if he can't do it properly, then I mean, that's a sophisticated art form that takes decades.

33:16 Adam You've got to start somewhere.

33:17 Drew Decades.

33:18 Adam Yeah. Well, here's the thing, too, ladies. If the guy isn't sort of sufficient or proficient at that or at least can do it well enough to move on to the next stage, don't let him move on. It's going to be like a video game. He's got to get through it before he can move on to the intercourse stage. You guys let him hop on top. You want to know why that sucks. He's not qualified.

33:39 Drew Right. Plus, he's not going to go back.

33:41 Adam Oh, no.

33:41 Drew He's got to pass for a stage.

33:43 Adam No going back. Yeah. No. That horse is out of the barn, Drew. And it's on top of someone that's humping them savagely. Yes.

33:51 Drew Whatever.

33:53 Adam Interpol here tonight. Let's hear a song.

33:55 Drew Perfect.

33:56 Adam Hey, let's break it down. Let's go. Let's get it on. We got to get it on for Interpol. We got to get it on. Chris, ready to get it on? Antic's name of the CD. What song are we hearing? Ann wrote it down. Ah, first one. Slow Hands. Yeah, Interpol, everyone, in studio tonight. Going to be down at the Virgin Megastore, signing the new CD, Antics, which is out in about an hour, 19 minutes. So they'll be there at midnight. They'll be ushered out of here about 1130, 1130 and hustled over there. Yes. Perfect. All right. We'll take a break. But you know what? I'm going to do some good radio here, Drew. I'm going to tease a call. Jane?

37:43 Drew This is great radio.

37:45 Adam I think it's better and greater than what you call scintillating. Jane, you're 19. What's up?

37:52 Caller Well, I was in a car accident and now I've been prescribed a Vicodin and Anselm and I get like 30 pills of each every week.

38:05 Adam Every week.

38:05 Caller Give me the pills, Skipper.

38:07 Adam What did you get? What was your injury?

38:10 Caller Well, I had back surgery when I was 14. Sexual abuse.

38:16 Adam Were you sexually abused?

38:19 Caller No.

38:20 Adam Physically abused?

38:20 Adam It's a car accident, right?

38:23 Drew What was the back injury for?

38:24 Adam Gymnastics?

38:26 Caller No, I would die. I was moving. We were moving across country and I was moving like something that was too heavy and I had a congenital back disorder or whatever where my nerve canal was too small or something. I don't know.

38:39 Adam All right. So you had back surgery at 14. All right. Hold on a second. Oh, and now she's getting shrunk out of her stuff. Oh, and see, here's the thing. Here's what we learned from doing this show. We just play the odds. Anyone we ever talked to had back surgery under the age of 50 for, you know, wasn't crushed by an eye beam or ran over by a skploader or something or anybody who's on disability. We never trust them. So something's up.

39:07 Drew And she's an addict. We know she's an opiate addict. Opiate addict already has a risk of trauma. Right. And you add in the back surgery.

39:15 Adam But you could add something going on. Drew says no. All right. So we'll get back with Jane and her car crash and her back injury and her 30 pain pills a week or maybe more. And I don't know if she's an addict. She just wants to know if it's OK. All right. All that after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-E-E-1-9-1. All right, we've got Carlos and Paul here tonight from Interpol. Antics, name of the CD is going to be down at the Virgin Megastore on Sunset at midnight, and that's when the CD drops, and they will be signing your CD. That's what they call it, Drew.

40:24 Drew Sounds like a testy dropping.

40:26 Adam Yeah, it's an undescended CD.

40:29 Drew So Jane, let's stay with your question, which is, are you addicted? So do you have a family history of alcoholism?

40:35 Caller Yeah, my dad and my mom.

40:37 Drew And have you ever been addicted to anything else?

40:41 Caller Well, I wouldn't.

40:42 Drew All right.

40:43 Adam Drew here says yes. And by the way, here's what it sounds like, Drew. Just ask whatever question.

40:48 Drew You have family history of alcoholism?

40:50 Adam Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

40:51 Drew You're addicted to anything else?

40:52 Adam Now, the person could be saying no. But Drew just says yes. Why do you ask, Drew?

40:56 Drew That's a good question. Because you know what I smell it.

40:58 Adam You know what you're like? You're like a cop. Do you know how fast you're going, son? You think he's asking? He's going to tell you, I'm sorry.

41:07 Caller Exactly right. You're going 95. Why ask?

41:13 Drew I know.

41:14 Adam I like the cop who talks too much. Son, what I'm going to have to ask you to do right now is please step out of the car for me.

41:19 Drew I have a question.

41:20 Adam How about just get out of the car?

41:21 Drew I have a question.

41:22 Adam Okay, right now, you know, I'm going to have to ask you for your license right now, okay?

41:26 Drew I have a question.

41:27 Adam What is it about the extra talk the cops give you? Are they buying time? Do they feel bad? How about like, give me your license or step out of the car. Okay, at this time son, I'm going to have to ask you to reach into your right hip pocket and take your license out of your alligator skin wallet and then go ahead and hand it through the open window to me, okay, right now? Okay. Yes, Drew.

41:48 Drew I have a question.

41:48 Adam Yes.

41:49 Drew How come, I've seen a thousand cases of light chain. I know the story inside and I know exactly what you're saying. But, Well, I know this as a matter of fact, and that's sort of intrusive. But John Edwards, is it magic? That's cool. Why?

42:15 Adam I'll tell you why, because your diagnoses involves work. It involves stopping something that you like, doing an in-house treatment, discipline and whatever. Nobody wants to hear that. People would rather just communicate through the dead or look at some Ouija board or something like that.

42:32 Drew Or have the evangelism. I've just had the Phil, just evangelical. Dr. Phil, just pure evangelism.

42:36 Adam Yeah, just whack you with the palm.

42:38 Drew I'm gonna heal you, I'm gonna heal you. Oh, good.

42:40 Adam Yeah, no, it is, I think a lot of these TV shows like Dr. Phil are the secular version of a preacher.

42:47 Drew Of evangelism, it's the great awakening. Absolutely, that's what it is.

42:51 Adam Look, I'm gonna cure you in like 18 minutes.

42:53 Drew Yeah, and then you bring them back, go, I'm cured, I'm cured, Dr. Phil.

42:56 Adam Right, yeah, like to tag these people like sharks and then follow them around and see what happens.

43:00 Drew Oh, five minutes, are you kidding?

43:02 Adam All right, Drew, come on, don't be jealous. Jane, it's such a turn off when you're jealous.

43:06 Drew I'm outraged, it's a little different.

43:08 Adam Still a turn off, Jane? Both parents alcoholic.

43:11 Drew Does that mean tonight, no?

43:13 Adam No, nothing, just oral.

43:14 Caller I wouldn't say my mom was an alcoholic, she went to A meetings, though.

43:17 Drew Yeah, that was, she wouldn't be an alcoholic, she wouldn't be in an A meeting if she weren't an alcoholic.

43:20 Adam What was she doing at the A meeting if she wasn't alcoholic?

43:23 Caller Well, when my parents got divorced, she just kinda started going, so I don't know.

43:27 Drew Yeah, she's an alcoholic, Jane. And so how long have you been on the 30 pills a week of the Vicodin and the Soma?

43:32 Adam Hold on a second, I gotta recreate, we have the world's dumbest college, but I wouldn't say my mom's an alcoholic just because she attended regular AA meetings. Well, what happened? Well, my parents broke up, she started going.

43:43 Adam I used to go to AA meetings when I was really young, just because I had a friend that was going.

43:48 Adam Really? No, you're cruising chicks, though. That's different. And if you're gonna go to that meeting, go to the CA one in West Hollywood, there's a hot, hot chick. Write it down, it's on Doheny, I'll give you the address. Hot chicks.

44:04 Drew All right, so Jane, how long have you been on 30 pills a week? A month and a half. And the thing about soma at a month and a half is a very difficult drug to get off of. There's something called an akathisia that develops. You feel like you're gonna just fly out of your skin, you get an upper extremity limb movement disorder, we kind of wanna punch things. It's a very strange withdrawal. And then opiates leaves you with a very intense feeling of loss and what's called dysphoria, like you're really grieving something. And it's not something you're likely, well in fact if you were to come to me and ask for help, it's not something I could do outside of a hospital. You'd have to be detoxed in a hospital.

44:36 Adam Really?

44:37 Drew Yeah.

44:37 Adam Really?

44:38 Adam Only 30 a week though, you know?

44:39 Adam I mean that's prescribed to her too though.

44:42 Drew That's how everybody gets addicted, if I could end this almost.

44:44 Adam She's only doing like 4.2 a day or something, you know?

44:49 Drew 30 a week is what, seven a day, right?

44:51 Adam I don't know, because four times seven, I guess you'd get a weekend.

44:54 Drew Six a week.

44:55 Adam Six a week?

44:56 Drew It's gonna be.

44:56 Adam It's four a day. Yeah, it's four and change a day. Five, 35.

45:00 Drew It's gonna be, she's gonna have withdrawal at six weeks of that.

45:03 Adam Hey, Jane.

45:04 Caller Yeah.

45:05 Adam Okay, so both your parents were alcoholic and now you're hooked on pills, so maybe Drew's right.

45:09 Drew Time to stop.

45:09 Adam Can you stop on your own?

45:12 Caller I haven't really tried yet. I would say that's what I was worried about is if I would have a problem getting off of them.

45:18 Drew It's gonna be tough.

45:20 Adam Should she try?

45:21 Drew Yeah, you should definitely try. You should have somebody help you do that and monitor. But again, if you step up, the next step is gonna be 10 a day very quickly and then you're really in. And it's gonna be extremely difficult to stop at that point.

45:32 Adam Does it work if she weens herself off?

45:35 Drew You really just gotta stop.

45:36 Adam Really?

45:37 Interpol Yeah, but stopping cold turkey would give you these withdrawal symptoms, right?

45:41 Drew They don't ween. People don't ween off these drugs.

45:43 Adam But if they could, would it be a good way to do it?

45:45 Drew Yeah, if you could. But people just don't. I've never seen weening work ever and I've tried it many, many times.

45:49 Interpol I'm having the same problem with Tylenol PM.

45:52 Adam Can you ween off the Tylenol?

45:53 Drew That you can ween.

45:54 Interpol I don't know, I'm trying.

45:56 Adam Tylenol PM can be tough, but you gotta watch it with the booze because it will get in your liver, right, Drew?

46:01 Drew Yeah, the Tylenol, that's true.

46:02 Adam Yeah, everything goes in the Tylenol.

46:04 Drew But I'm just thinking about Jane here for a second. The deal is she needs to really realize that addiction is about a progressive disorder. You used to be addicted to something else, now you're getting out of the opiates. The very specific definition, A, biological disorder, genetic basis, you have the family history. B, ongoing use in the face of consequence. And then C, denial. And you've sort of been maneuvering with the denial and mom's not really an alcoholic, it just goes to A meetings. You meet all the criteria.

46:30 Adam So it's just cruisin chicks. All right, so yeah, and then now the back surgery at 14. 14 year olds don't normally just pull back. You know, require surgery for moving.

46:40 Drew We definitely find a traumatic past.

46:42 Adam All right, all right, all right, there you go. There's your news, baby, sorry. Interpol, in tonight, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

46:49 Caller All right guys, bottom line, here's the deal.

46:52 Caller Lookin to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

46:55 Caller One call is all you need to make.

46:56 Caller Call the Dateline.

46:57 877-889-DATE.

47:03 Caller Loveline, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

47:05 Caller 1-800-LOVE-1-N-1.

47:09 Caller We'll be right back. This hour brought to you by AXE.

47:14 Experience the AXE.

47:42 Caller Loveline.

47:43 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, Paul and Carlos here tonight from Interpol. Antics, name of the CD. It's gonna be out in a little less than an hour, and the guys are gonna be over at the Virgin Megastore on Sunset right in the, right at the beginning of the Sunset Strip, signing your newly purchased Interpol CD. All right, Drew. What's up, buddy?

48:08 Drew Let's break it down.

48:09 Adam Let's break it down. Let's get it on. Seth McFarland from The Family Guy in here tomorrow night. Drew's gonna, Drew, warm up that ass-licking tongue because there's gonna be a lot of ass-licking going on here tomorrow night.

48:23 Drew You're gonna vomit.

48:23 Adam It's gonna be huge, yeah.

48:24 Adam He's a young guy, right, Seth?

48:26 Adam Yeah, Seth's probably mid-30s.

48:28 Drew I'm gonna make him do all those voices.

48:30 Adam Hell yeah.

48:31 Interpol Which one is he?

48:32 Adam He's all of them.

48:33 Drew He's all of them.

48:34 Adam No, but the son is Seth Greenback.

48:35 Drew Yeah, he's not Chris and he's not Lois and he's not the daughter.

48:39 Interpol The daughter is the woman from that 70s show, correct?

48:43 Adam That's right. But he's everyone else.

48:46 Drew He is the neighbor.

48:46 Adam He's the Brian and the baby.

48:47 Drew He's the Brian and the baby.

48:49 Adam Oh, it's gonna be great when during the commercial I have to call Drew's kids as Stewie, leave the outgoing message on their cell phone.

48:56 Drew Oh, I'm bringing in the recording equipment tomorrow.

48:59 Adam Zoe, I wish you'd show as much interest in this show as you do in Seth MacFarlane, Drew. Don't answer, just think about it, okay? You're 27?

49:12 Caller Yes.

49:12 Adam What's up?

49:14 Caller My husband, I've been with him for seven years, and he's always been kind of quick to come, and the longer that we're together and the longer that we've been married, I think the more repressed he's been. He doesn't want to do anything. He's pretty much missionary-style, good at bed, and I've offered anal, everything else to him, into watching porn, that kind of thing. He's not into it.

49:48 Adam Well, usually when guys aren't into it, the more offering, the more uncomfortable it becomes, and the more awkward it becomes.

49:55 Caller Yeah, well, he gets mad at me. He's like, you're a mom now, you're a wife, you need to get over it. I get home, I work at night, and I'll get home, and I'll go down on him, and I tell him, you don't have to do anything, and he's just like, knock it off, go to bed. And I would never cheat on him, I would never leave him, and I love him more than anything, and I tell him, and I try to tell him nicely.

50:31 Adam Like let's keep it interesting. Let's do a little scratching here, let's all get our quarters out.

50:35 Adam Are you sure he's faithful to you?

50:40 Adam He would be, because the guys who are getting it on with the secretary are just taking a wet nap to the dork and putting it in the wife as soon as they get home. Right through the mouth slide. Because those are passionate men, like Drew.

50:52 Drew But they're also the extra, they don't want to tip anybody off.

50:56 Adam Yeah, that's the whole thing. A lot of people assume, like, oh, he's not giving it to you. He must be giving it to someone else somewhere else. But no, they don't want to draw attention.

51:07 Adam He'll be getting ideas from somewhere else as well.

51:08 Drew It's that he wouldn't want to tip her off. Why aren't you with me? They double down.

51:16 Adam Do you think he might be gay then?

51:17 Drew No, no, no, here we go.

51:19 Adam Because he's got kids, so it can't be that.

51:23 Caller He works construction all day long.

51:25 Adam Is he a big man or are you a big gal?

51:28 Caller Huh?

51:28 Adam You a big gal?

51:30 Caller No, no, I take good care of myself. I used to be a stripper, and I've always taken good care of myself. I tell him, I'll do pretty much anything for him. I will.

51:43 Adam Go ahead.

51:48 Adam Maybe... I think some guys, the ultra accommodating thing might be a turn off. Maybe if you go for a different approach and maybe get tough or something, that might trigger something in him.

52:02 Drew Is he fearful of your sexuality? Were you kind of wild at one time?

52:05 Caller He gets very... When I was a dancer, I'm not anymore. I haven't been for years.

52:14 Adam Zoey coming to stage. There's a Mercedes in the light zone parking in the left. D5, WR, Chelsea, Stage 4, Mrs. Man's Lunch. I like the traffic cop part of their job. They gotta go, Hey, quit your drink, quit your drink and drop your lid and show the ladies you appreciate it. Uh, Shelley, Stage 4, Stage 4, Someone lost a wallet. Uh, Business Man's Lunch. Carve with the lights on. Blah, blah, blah. They have to be, you know, air traffic controller and carnival barker. You wear a lot of hats.

52:55 Drew Well, it's sort of like a school principal and carnival barker.

53:00 Interpol I think I can relate to the fact that a male might be intimidated by a female's robust sexuality. But also maybe just intimidated from the standpoint of saying that if I let her become this sexual monster with me, somehow she might cheat on me.

53:17 Drew Right. It'll let something out of it.

53:19 Interpol Yeah. It'll let something that I can't control out of it.

53:22 Drew Guys definitely have that in them.

53:24 Adam I have a theory.

53:26 Drew But I would expect that to be the guy to marry the stripper.

53:29 Adam Right. That's not that guy. Well, I'll tell you what some guys do, too. I heard you, Drew. I'm just deciding whether I agree or not. A lot of guys marry a sexual woman who has a history of maybe many partners or maybe a business where she was using her sexuality and then try to close her down and contain her. If to erase the past. It's like if I can turn you into a housewife, if I can domesticate the beast, somehow all the guys you took your clothes off in front of in the past, it's going to wipe it clean from their memory.

54:07 Drew I'm with you 100% except isn't that guy still the guy?

54:10 Adam Hold on, there's no 100% and except. There's 80% and except.

54:15 Drew But I'm asking.

54:17 Adam Unless it goes over 100.

54:18 Drew Is it possibly also the case? If I'm not 100% there's one question. If I'm 95%.

54:25 Adam Alright, go ahead.

54:26 Drew Is it the guy, isn't that the guy that would still want her to be kind of wild with him alone?

54:34 Adam No, because he's just trying to put her fire out.

54:38 Caller Shut her down everywhere.

54:39 Adam And that way erase the memory of that past for her.

54:43 Adam Where is his sexuality then? In what ways are his sexual needs being expressed?

54:49 Drew But his thing is, he gets her, he does a straight forward missionary. Which is what he likes and he comes real fast and that's it, he's fine.

54:59 Adam And he doesn't have the libido that she has.

55:03 Interpol That is a damn shame because she deserves a man who can harness and we're going to be signing records at Sunset Boulevard baby.

55:17 Adam Alright, so you gotta communicate with the guy. He's your husband, he's the father of your children. But here's what I'm saying, don't keep approaching it with the well, now I got in a French maid's outfit and I greet him by the front door. Don't keep pushing.

55:33 Drew Maybe a slow build, real slow, just little steps forward. You know what we're saying, Zoe?

55:39 Caller Yeah, I understand.

55:41 Adam Alright, did you strip topless and bottomless? Or just topless?

55:46 Caller Full nude in Vegas and in Hollywood.

55:49 Adam Smacks a little something. Where'd you work in Hollywood?

55:51 Caller Oh, I'd rather not say. I worked everywhere. I worked at Little Darlings, I think, for a little while. I helped open up that club. This was years ago, though, and I haven't been a dancer, and I don't dress provocatively, and I think you guys are kind of right, because he does try to make me feel bad. Like, he goes, you know, you don't need to act like that, and I'm only like that in the bedroom with him.

56:15 Adam But he's intimidated by your sexuality, possibly by your past a little bit, and he's trying to sort of contain you and shut you down.

56:22 Drew In a way, it's sort of an ideal situation for a little therapy, because it's sort of a specific issue that can kind of store that.

56:26 Adam Yeah, but he's going to be embarrassed by it, and not want to go into the therapist's office.

56:30 Drew But here's the thing she has to understand. Is it for him, let me ask her something. Please, this is kind of interesting. Zoe.

56:36 Interpol For you.

56:37 Drew Do you need to do some more different things sexually with him in order for this to be a gratifying experience? For you, okay.

56:45 Caller He thinks it's me. He thinks, like, we've had a really good heart to heart. It's not, like, fighting or anything. Really good heart to heart. And he's like, I really think that you have a sexual problem. He doesn't think it's just me with a crazy libido. He thinks that, like, my sexual needs and my fantasies are in some way unhealthy and not right. I don't know.

57:09 Drew Well, I mean, you were a stripper, so it suggests you have some issues. But you're not suggesting anything outrageous. And you gotta remember for him, but remember, for him, things are perfect. Things are right in the zone for him. So don't think that you're going to be doing things that are going to make things more interesting for him.

57:26 Adam And he's just, you know, he's in that I worked a lot of construction with these guys just waiting to die. Buzzards circling his genitalia. He's waiting to go. He's a little depressed too.

57:39 Drew How old is he?

57:44 Adam 29.

57:44 Drew Is he one of your Vicodin guys?

57:46 Adam Zoe, how old is he?

57:48 Caller He's 30.

57:50 Caller He was just, this week, he was put on an antidepressant.

57:56 Drew That's going to screw up his sexuality more.

57:58 Adam But the whole thing almost could be linked to the depression, right? All the apathy could be...

58:02 Adam I think it is all the elements we discussed over the last 25 minutes on this call.

58:07 Drew It's an interesting call.

58:11 Adam Well, you removed the X stripper part, you got nothing. Okay, so...

58:16 Interpol Some dudes are just boring.

58:18 Adam So work it out. Work it out. There you go. Godspeed. Your kids are going to land on your feet. I'll tell you what. Andrew, this is why we need to be able to send out a windbreaker or a T-shirt or something. It's a nice out.

58:30 Drew How about just a basket?

58:31 Adam I'll send you out a basket. Andrew? You're 15? Are you depressed? No.

58:41 Adam You're asleep?

58:42 Drew No. You're asleep.

58:45 Adam And on the radio?

58:46 Adam Are you worried that someone is going to hear you in the house? It says here you're bisexual?

58:55 Drew At 15 you're bisexual?

58:58 Caller Well, yeah.

59:01 Adam And your mom is extremely homophobic?

59:07 Caller Alright.

59:07 Adam Alright, hang on there.

59:09 Interpol And we're never going to come back here. That sounded interesting. It's a shame that we couldn't hear anymore.

59:13 Adam Well, let's, yeah, let's see. Andrea. Alright, you're going to need to, you understand it's a national radio program and eventually you're going to have to talk? Yes. And you dragging out the very last letter of the word that you pronounce does not constitute more conversation. So, you're bisexual. Where's your dad?

59:41 Caller Sleeping here.

59:44 Adam Sleeping, alright. And your mother's homophobic. Is your father homophobic?

59:48 Caller Yeah, but not as much as her though.

59:50 Drew Okay, so why not, not, don't you, don't tell her.

59:53 Adam There you go. Unless you're angry at her and you're doing this to pay her back, which you probably are, except you don't know you're doing it, although you'll realize it later on in life.

1:00:04 Drew Right?

1:00:05 Adam It's a loaded question really, but yes. Alright, don't tell her. Look, here's the old deal. You're not supposed to tell your parents anything when you're 15. Especially about your sexuality. You don't have to make these proclamations about what you're in to.

1:00:18 Drew Heterosexuals do not proclaim what they were doing, but why would somebody proclaim something about their identity that they know is going to evoke something awful from a parent who is being unreasonable? Why would you do that?

1:00:29 Adam Yeah, to pay them back. That's the answer. Dad's homophobic. Go ahead and pay him back.

1:00:35 Drew Because he was abusive, abandoning, or neglectful.

1:00:37 Adam Dad's a racist and abusive. Say hi to Lucius. That's how it works. Dad, I want you to meet Lucius. He's on every team in the school. There you go. That's who I'm having sex with. Happy? That's what happens. That's why you can't F with your daughter. You can F with your son. He ends up just beating his kids. It's no problem. But if you F with your daughter, she'll bite you in the ass. Guys end up getting in fights and playing on a football team. But daughters, you're homophobic, they go Lesbo on you. That's how it works.

1:01:14 Interpol She's bisexual though.

1:01:15 Adam Here's the whole thing. She's not even bisexual. That's a title she's given herself to piss off her mom.

1:01:24 Drew What does she know what she is?

1:01:26 Interpol Lesbian is too strong.

1:01:28 Drew She doesn't know what she is, but she's decided she's something that's going to make her mom angry so she can announce it to her mom.

1:01:34 Adam Lesbian is too strong for someone who's barely interested in women. She's only interested in women enough to piss her mom off.

1:01:40 Interpol And you're definitely sure about this?

1:01:42 Adam Yes. All right, here we go.

1:01:43 Interpol Hold on.

1:01:44 Adam Andrea? Have you been with a woman?

1:01:49 Interpol No, not.

1:01:50 Adam All right, all right. There you go. There you go, everybody. She's a full-blown lesbian.

1:01:56 Drew She's going to announce that to mom at Thanksgiving.

1:01:57 Adam Only woman she's ever seen nude is herself in a waist-high mirror in the bathroom and it was foggy. She's a lesbian. I'm gay. That makes us all gay, by the way. Everyone's gay. I've never been with anybody, but it could be.

1:02:14 Drew Wait till Thanksgiving.

1:02:15 Caller It's gonna be great when you announce it.

1:02:17 Adam When I tell my dad, a couple of glasses of dry-sac.

1:02:21 Interpol Maybe she has sexual thoughts about...

1:02:23 Adam She does.

1:02:24 Drew That's 15, that's not bisexual.

1:02:27 Adam The point is, everybody has sexual thoughts, especially women are very fluid that way. They can go just about any direction at 15. Who would ever... It's like, it's tantamount to you saying yes, I've had thoughts of killing somebody when I was on the road or I'm going to turn myself in and do some hard time. Please. Alright. So this is it. She's trying to get back at mom. She'll figure out a way to do it. The problem I don't... The thing I don't like about the whole situation is everybody in our society is like you can't live a lie. This information people deserve. There's way too much emphasis put on sort of blurting out the truth. I want people to start shutting their yam and keeping their pain to themselves.

1:03:12 Interpol But what if she's interested in a particular girl in her high school wants to do stuff with her but is afraid to because her mom is homophobic. Maybe she's asking for advice on whether she should do it or not.

1:03:25 Adam No. You're being far too kind. And by the way, if you're interested in somebody, go ahead and pursue it. And just like Drew never told his folks anything, I mean you were wildly banging the bejesus out of your 16 year old girlfriend. Your dad had no idea what you were doing. He thought you were upstairs cracking the books, you were cracking the legs. Wide open. Drew a passionate man by the way. Passionate. His passion flows like a mountain stream. And it's never stopped. No beaver's ever damned his fashion. I'll tell you that right now. His passion cannot be damned. No. That's right. He's damned a few beavers. But his passion cannot be damned. Let's hear an Interpol song. You ready to do that Drew? This is off the Antics CD. You cute up there? Yeah. This one's called Evil. Yeah, Interpol, everyone. Antics, Named CD Band is going to be down at the Sunset Megastore, the Virgin Megastore in about 39 and a half minutes. Also doing a in-store on Tuesday down at the Luce Records on the 101 in Encinitas, heading down toward San Diego Way. And then Tuesday, does the door have to slam the second this goddamn door is open, by the way. All right.

1:08:21 Adam That was Carlos' fault.

1:08:22 Adam No, it's not your fault.

1:08:23 Interpol It's everyone's fault.

1:08:25 Adam God forbid. Virgin Megastore in San Francisco out on Tuesday. Thank you, Anderson. All right, guys. I was told- We were cutting you loose at this break because you have to make haste down to the Megastore to meet all your hordes of fans. So, good seeing you again.

1:08:46 Adam Thank you for having us. It was fun.

1:08:48 Adam Our pleasure. We'll see you soon. And we'll take a quick break and be right back without Interpol after this.

1:08:57 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:09:27 Adam Thank you Yeah, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam, that's the good doctor over there. Interpol has left the studio, and Seth MacFarlane from The Family Guy is going to be in here tomorrow night. So, like I said, Drew, put on your ass, kiss, and shoes.

1:09:43 Caller And then I think to myself, my God, wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be homosexual?

1:09:48 Drew Much more of that to come.

1:09:52 Adam Oh, nothing but.

1:09:53 Caller Yeah.

1:09:54 Adam And let me tell you something about Seth, too. Dear, dear friend, not a snob. No. You know, a lot of people, let me tell you what's wrong with this goddamn guy.

1:10:02 Drew He's got a smile, 24-7.

1:10:04 Adam Well, he's high. Let me tell you what's wrong with this world. There's a lot of folks that don't realize why they're where they are, which is to say, you know, Monica Lewinsky, that sack of douche, goes on The Kimmel Show, and she wants to talk about her handbags, and the idea of me giving a hummer to the president, oh, it's forbidden, we'll not be talking about that. Listen, sweetie pea, that's why you're here. And so oftentimes, people don't realize what the hell they're doing there. What do you think, just some hot chick who makes handbags, and all of a sudden we're interested? No, you were performing Oral on the president of the free world, basically, and that's newsworthy. That's why folks know your name. Do not kid yourself. And I just like the fact that people, so a lot of guys, there's a lot of actors who come on, and like, yeah, do the Bart Sim, uh. Yeah, although that's a chick, but yeah, I don't do that. A lot of people don't bring this up. And I can't remember what the other one is, but there's a laundry list of crappy celebrities who are only really there for one reason, and ironically, that's the one thing they won't talk about, and that's the only thing there is to talk about with the idiot, because obviously they're not supposed to be there in the first place. Oh yeah, yeah, Monica's a handbag, so they're taking the world by storm. She's so talented, she's such a talented seamstress. Like look, you blew the president, now we want to know about it. You come on the show, that's what you got to talk about.

1:11:29 Drew We've had a number of those things where it's like people want to know about their wife or something, or you know what I mean?

1:11:33 Adam Yeah, don't ask them about it.

1:11:34 Drew We won't talk about that, we won't talk about that.

1:11:36 Adam Yeah, I know, I know. It's one of those celebrity things, and especially with the bands, like Jacob Dillon, no, no, don't, no, his dad's Bob Dillon, yeah, I know, but don't say anything. Really, can't bring that up, huh? Why is it, oh, by the way, does everyone have a laundry list of crap they won't talk about? Drew, where's your list of stuff you won't talk about?

1:11:56 Drew Oh, I'm glad you asked.

1:11:57 Adam Don't bring this up with Drew, no, that's very sensitive.

1:12:00 Drew I want passion off of this.

1:12:01 Adam Look, okay, listen, here's the deal, if you don't want us to bring stuff up or you're not willing to talk about it, then shut your pie hole and get the F off the show. Monica Lewinsky doesn't want to talk about it.

1:12:10 Drew When did this happen?

1:12:11 Adam Yeah, it was like a year ago, she was on Kimmel's show, and it was, oh, don't, no, don't talk about this. She wants to talk about her handbags. Oh yeah, America's dying to know about your handbags. What do you use, do you use a double stitch? What kind of thread do you use on those sacks?

1:12:26 Drew Corinthian leather or nog hide.

1:12:28 Adam You nog hide, you're using vinyl, what do you use there, what's your stitch? By the way, listen nutty broads, stop it with the handbags already. There's three billion that are currently in circulation, that's not enough? Chicks with their handbags. All right Drew, I'm done with handbags. You know what I was saying Drew today?

1:12:48 Drew You were reading them for quite some time too.

1:12:49 Adam I was at Kimmel today and somebody else, I don't know, Paris Hilton's coming out with handbags and I realized this is, it used to be when chicks didn't really want to work, they became travel agents. It's like all right, you book a few flights and here's how travel agents work. Well, I book one flight for you and one for me. One for you, one for me. Fine, it's like half a job, you get inside, you get to meet with people, you really don't make any money but you end up flying around at a cut rate and it's fine. That's what you used to do when you had a husband, he was a doctor, he was a lawyer, wife wanted to feel like she was doing something, she became a trial agent. Now they're doing handbags, which is the new travel agent, except for it's even less. Now you're not leaving the house. You're doing zero now.

1:13:30 Drew Somebody else is doing it too.

1:13:31 Adam That's right. Little Indonesian kids sweating away in a shop, you're cracking a whip. Fan, very slowly turning in the window with the light coming through. I see that in all the movies, the fan that's up there, the ventilation fan, but it's moving very slowly with the light coming through. If I worked at that shop, I'd be like, hey, it's 140 degrees near. Someone wanna get that goddamn fan moving? Or turn it off. It's bugging me.

1:13:56 Caller It barely moves.

1:13:57 Adam That's what it does in the movie. It's like, there it is, light streaming through the blades. It's big, it's up in the thing. Everyone's mopping their brow. No one turns the fan on. It's one of those movie things I don't think really exists. By the way, there's no speed on a fan that says, barely turning. There's low, in low you still can't see the blade. It looks like it's turning backwards. It's going so fast. That's low and then there's medium. There's no movie setting on the ventilation fan. You open a sweatshop. Hey, we gotta get a fan up there. Why? Because during the summer it gets about 160 in here. All right, but it can't turn faster than three revolutions a minute. That's as fast as it's gonna go. Just, and then we got to have-

1:14:39 Caller It can't be fast enough to move air.

1:14:40 Adam And we need a light source. Streaming through it. Yeah, so it looks like a good Bruckheimer film. Turn the fan on. Yeah. All right, let's break it down, Drew. Let's go. Oh really, is the fan broken? Why isn't it turning? This is why I couldn't, I couldn't work on a film and I couldn't work in a sweatshop. I was immediately screaming about this fan that's not moving. And it's on, it's clearly on. It's not just being moved by the wind, it's on. It's just not really moving. Maybe later on someone's gonna have to time it and climb through it.

1:15:15 Drew Oh yes.

1:15:16 Caller Yeah.

1:15:17 Drew That's bound to happen.

1:15:18 Caller That's good to happen.

1:15:19 Adam Christina? You're 21?

1:15:23 Caller Yeah. What's up? I have a question. Me and my friend were watching a talk show and she is a lesbian and she hasn't came out of the closet to her parents yet. We were watching a talk show and there was a doctor on there and the talk show was basically about people that say that they were born gay. The doctor on there said that there was like a chromosome or like a genetic thing in their brain that can develop before their sexual organ can develop. So, like say their brain develops as a female and their sexual organ develops as a male, that they can be more sided with one side like, oh, if their sexual organ is a male but they have a female brain, that they're going to be more towards males.

1:16:07 Caller What about the gay gene?

1:16:10 Drew That particular theory is very speculative. There are definitely people who have a biological basis to their homosexual orientation. They don't call this show. This show is called People Who Have Been Sexually Abused, and that creates the change in their sexual orientation.

1:16:30 Adam But not a female brain, saying you get a female brain with male genitalia, therefore, you're attracted to males because your brain is in the males. You take a look at a PET scan of a female brain and a male brain beside the female brain being considerably smaller. It looks a lot different?

1:16:49 Drew Profoundly different.

1:16:50 Adam Really?

1:16:51 Drew In terms of how they process things, all very, very different.

1:16:54 Adam Really? Yeah. All right. There's a large handbag section in the frontal lobe of most females?

1:17:00 Drew That's right. For instance, I just did this on Dennis Miller the other night where we showed PET scans of men looking at pornography and women looking at pornography. Men lit up like a Christmas tree in the appetite of centers. We process, we make note of very powerful-

1:17:16 Adam You call them appetitive centers?

1:17:17 Drew Appetite. We go from- An appetite center. We make note drive centers. We make note very powerfully, send that information out of the drive centers and create drive to sex. I mean, very powerful biology. Women get aroused, experience arousal, no drive. No drive.

1:17:33 Caller Can't back it up.

1:17:34 Drew Unless you get them an intimate conversation. And then drive starts coming out. But looking at pictures, they get aroused, no drive.

1:17:42 Adam So the blood goes to the parts, they experience arousal, but they're not going to do anything about it.

1:17:47 Drew It's like they're not hungry. It's like looking at pictures of meals and going, I can appreciate it, that must be good. I agree.

1:17:53 Adam Right.

1:17:54 Drew Manatees, turkey, let's go.

1:17:55 Adam Manatee, eat, let's go.

1:17:58 Caller Right?

1:17:58 Drew But then, but then-

1:18:00 Caller You're scaring me.

1:18:01 Drew Listen, why can't people accept those differences? Why is it so hard for them to deal with that?

1:18:07 Adam I'll tell you why, because there's something about, well, I'll tell you a couple of things. It's usually the angry left, because the conservative right is always explaining, look, there's a difference between this Middle Eastern culture and our culture. There's a difference between men and women. There's a difference between gay and straight. And the angry left always says, no, no difference, no difference, no difference for anything. And they just get angry, even if there's good differences oftentimes. And it's weird because it's a group that wants to celebrate diversity by screaming, there's no difference between anybody.

1:18:42 Drew There was a woman in the studio.

1:18:44 Adam I don't know what that is.

1:18:44 Drew Yeah, there's a woman in the green room when I came off and I said, and she goes, that's very interesting. I go, yes, I think it's important that we understand our differences so we can appreciate what one another is experiencing. Otherwise, that's where problems develop. We don't appreciate the perspective of another person. And maybe it could be translated to other cultural orientation. And then now she goes, no, no, no, no, no. People are all the same. She goes, I've been to lots of countries and there's something about humans that's all the same. I go, yeah, I'm not saying that's not the case of some common thread, but there's some profound differences too.

1:19:16 Adam Yeah, I don't know why they don't want to accept that. I guess if you start talking about differences in people, then you start, there's this perceived, well now we're getting into segregation and we're gonna start separating and then we're gonna start labeling and saying, well, there's a difference. Yes, these people are better than those people and those people need to be put in internment camps.

1:19:34 Drew No.

1:19:34 Adam No, I think, yeah.

1:19:36 Drew Oh, okay, that's why I meant.

1:19:37 Adam Chris, you'd be first to go, by the way. I make you the mayor of the internment camp.

1:19:42 Drew Great, he will call his internment camp boob film.

1:19:45 Adam Yeah, the good news is, the morning trumpet sounds at noon. So you get to sleep in, and it's just warehousing. You'll just be hanging around. You'll be shooting bumper pool and drinking Schaeffer beer all day long. You'll be like those natives from Bikini Island where we're testing the nuclear bomb. So you won't be doing anything. I'll be subsidizing the whole thing. And that way, you'll have the peace of mind of knowing that you got a nice cot to sleep on and plenty of beer during the day, and I'll know where you are. That's my plan. And we'll send in some junior college counselors to...

1:20:19 Drew To make a facsimile of a junior college.

1:20:21 Adam Right. Eventually, we'll turn into a junior college.

1:20:24 Drew Very quickly.

1:20:26 Adam We'll put a hacky sack in there, an ashtray, and as soon as we come... Become a junior college. Maggie? You're 21?

1:20:34 Caller I am.

1:20:35 Adam What's up?

1:20:36 Caller This evening while I was at work, a coworker offered to pay me for a blow job.

1:20:42 Drew A coworker same level or somebody that you are...

1:20:47 Caller Well, I work in a restaurant and I'm a server, and he is like a dishwasher bus person.

1:20:54 Adam And how much?

1:20:56 Caller $50.

1:20:57 Adam $50. Let's not look great in a TGI outfit. And really, $50.

1:21:06 Caller Yeah.

1:21:07 Adam And so how was it?

1:21:08 Drew Things have changed at Downtown Disney.

1:21:10 Adam Yeah. What's that? He's calling from Anaheim. Did you give him the BJ?

1:21:15 Caller No, I did not.

1:21:16 Adam No. How did you respond?

1:21:19 Caller I'm kind of strapped for cash right now, so I considered it for a while.

1:21:22 Seriously?

1:21:24 Caller Yeah.

1:21:24 Adam $50, $50.

1:21:25 Caller But he was like waiting for me in the parking lot, and he was like, so are you going to do it? And I was like, no, I'm going to go home and do it. So I did it.

1:21:32 Drew All right.

1:21:34 Adam Let me, wow, we got a ton of questions. First off, you're a waitress.

1:21:39 Caller Yeah.

1:21:39 Drew It's Disneyland, right?

1:21:40 Adam By the way, hold on a second.

1:21:42 Caller No, I don't work in Disneyland. I work in Irvine.

1:21:43 Adam OK, look, first off, people like that. You know, we could do this. Another thing I'm angry about. It's all the semantic stuff where it's like she's a rape victim, rape survivor, rape survivor. You're waitress, not waitress, server. Server is much more demeaning than waitress. I know I called you waitress, so I need to be corrected. But server. To say, hey, bitch, wash my feet and then go get me a Bloomin Onion.

1:22:10 Drew Right.

1:22:11 Adam Server, it sounds like you're not getting paid at this point. You're wearing a vest with no shirt underneath it, and a fez, and like a puffy pajama bottoms. Right. Here's how I get you.

1:22:23 Drew That's the king in I.

1:22:26 Adam You come out like the old Brenner.

1:22:27 Caller All right.

1:22:29 Adam Maggie.

1:22:29 Caller Yeah.

1:22:32 Adam As a server, don't you get tips every night?

1:22:35 Caller Yes.

1:22:36 Adam And shouldn't you be walking with, you know, $150 worth of cash every night?

1:22:40 Caller Unfortunately, no. I do not. Not on a Monday evening.

1:22:45 Adam All right. But what did you walk with tonight?

1:22:50 Caller $75.

1:22:51 Adam $75. $75. Because it's hard to tell someone to give you a BJ for $50 who doesn't want to hit a crack. You know, they would have got $75 in their pocket, you know.

1:23:00 Drew But this guy picked up on something with Maggie.

1:23:04 Adam Yeah.

1:23:04 Drew That she would even consider it.

1:23:05 Adam And he's a dishwasher. And have you flirted with him? Have you talked to him at all?

1:23:11 Caller Yeah, we've been hanging out.

1:23:14 Caller Oh, yes.

1:23:17 Adam And you guys have hung out. Why is he paying you for the BJ? Like, why not just go out on the date, buy the Surf and Turf and get the BJ? Although this is cheaper. You're right. Yeah, I mean, would you go out with him?

1:23:31 Caller No.

1:23:32 Adam Well, not now you wouldn't, but before this.

1:23:34 Caller No.

1:23:35 Adam Why not?

1:23:37 Caller He's kind of dirty and scandalous and kind of gross.

1:23:40 Drew Would you consider having a sexual relation with the guy?

1:23:44 Caller Have I ever?

1:23:45 Drew No. But you consider that. Have you prostituted yourself before?

1:23:49 Caller No.

1:23:50 Drew No, no. And why would... Why is that a funny question?

1:23:55 Caller Prostitution is ridiculous, it seems to me.

1:23:58 Drew Well, you were contemplating money for sex. That's prostitution. Yes.

1:24:02 Caller Contemplating. But I did not act upon this thought.

1:24:05 Drew Right. But you used to...

1:24:06 Adam Please.

1:24:07 Drew But you said you were close to it.

1:24:09 Adam If you've gone up to 55, maybe.

1:24:13 Caller Maggie.

1:24:15 Adam We want to know what made him think that it was okay to even come close to this subject.

1:24:21 Drew With you.

1:24:21 Caller I think after we closed at night, you know, a lot of jokes start falling around. And I think he just got to the point. I think his girlfriend left the country and he's just really desperate and thought maybe he was comfortable enough asking me, but I don't know.

1:24:39 Adam No. No.

1:24:40 Drew He would ask you for a date, then.

1:24:42 Adam Yeah. Some... You're giving something off that says victim or low self-esteem or something.

1:24:49 Drew Right.

1:24:50 Adam Anything like that?

1:24:53 Caller I don't think so.

1:24:54 Adam All right. All right. Well, look, then. You didn't give him the... But you did contemplate it for 50 bucks.

1:25:00 Drew That's bizarre. It's bizarre.

1:25:02 Adam It's bizarre when you're talking about the kind of money that you would make in half a shift on a regular night.

1:25:07 Drew And it's bizarre you wouldn't go to your manager instantly with that kind of crap.

1:25:11 Adam Well, if you're screwing around and they're having some drinks or something, fine. All right. So...

1:25:17 Caller It just kind of struck me in a weird way.

1:25:19 Adam All right, but it got to the point where he was actually out in the parking lot waiting for you.

1:25:22 Drew Why weren't you fearful? Why weren't you frightened?

1:25:26 Adam Hold on, Drew, did you let a fart go on? Drew punctuates his statement with a little gas.

1:25:33 Caller Why weren't you fearful?

1:25:36 Adam I'm fearful, by the way.

1:25:37 Caller You should be.

1:25:38 Drew But why weren't you frightened by the guy waiting out there? Great, Maggie.

1:25:44 Adam Drew, don't you have control of yourself?

1:25:45 Caller I can't understand you.

1:25:47 Adam All right, listen. She didn't do it. We don't know if she's calling and just sort of bringing this up. Here's the problem. Sometimes people call the show and they were this close to doing something, and other times people call the show and they were a mile away from doing something, but they don't couch it that way. They don't phrase it that way, and it's hard for us to tell. So one side of her mouth, she's saying, well, I almost did this. On the other side of her mouth, she's saying, well, of course I would never do this. We don't know which one it is. We're assuming you wouldn't have done it, and you're not as close as the screener said.

1:26:23 Drew No, I got to say she was close.

1:26:26 Adam Okay, there's something going on with her. Whatever it is, fine. I got to clear out of here.

1:26:32 Drew She should report to the manager, really. This is sexual harassment.

1:26:35 Adam All right, don't talk. Just leave the guy alone. Don't say anything. She's screwing around. They're talking. Leave him alone. I told you this.

1:26:43 Drew Yeah, but he's gross and scarcer and all.

1:26:45 Adam All guys who wash dishes are gross. They handle Thousand Island their whole life. That's all they do. Their cuticles smell like onions. You understand? Nothing worse. And by the way, if I was clearing those plates, I'd be eating off those plates. Oh, yeah. Now, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't take another bite and do a cheeseburger that was almost spent.

1:27:04 Drew Put the French fries.

1:27:05 Adam Fries? Onion rings? Are you kidding me? Game on. And then once in a while, you run into that fruit salad that no one's gotten into.

1:27:13 Drew Coleslaw.

1:27:14 Adam Coleslaw? Forget about it. You know what I did yesterday, Drew?

1:27:18 Drew I can't wait.

1:27:19 Adam Actually, Saturday. Kept it real.

1:27:22 Caller I'll tell you what I did.

1:27:23 Adam I went to the, I was in the parking lot of the old McDonald's. Who had a farm. The old McDonald's I used to work at in Studio City. And I was just sort of staring at it. I was going to another market, but I just ended up parking right in front of the McDonald's. And I actually walked back around the back to where they keep the dumpsters where I ate all the filet of fish they told me to throw out one day in the apple pies. I just stood there and I thought, yeah. Oh yeah.

1:27:52 Drew My heritage.

1:27:52 Adam Yeah.

1:27:53 Caller This is where I come from.

1:27:55 Adam Keeping it real.

1:27:56 Drew Drank it in.

1:27:57 Adam Yeah. Drank it in. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:28:05 Drew Thanks for watching.

1:28:36 Adam Hey, buzzaboo, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Seth McFarlane, the Family Guy guy in here tomorrow night, and he will dance for us. He will do all those voices, I guarantee it. Yeah, because he knows where his bread is buttered. Yes, Drew?

1:28:51 Drew Yes, he does.

1:28:52 Adam Allie? Yeah, 16.

1:28:56 Dr. Drew, I love your book, Cracked, by the way.

1:28:59 Drew Thank you, Allie.

1:29:01 You're, yeah. Okay, I am with somebody, sorry, I'm a little nervous right now.

1:29:06 Adam That's all right.

1:29:07 I'm with somebody who's a lot older than me, and I'm a virgin, and I'm really worried about having sex because I'm not as experienced, and I'm worried that I won't know what to do.

1:29:17 Drew You're 16, and how old is he?

1:29:19 Caller 34.

1:29:21 Adam Well, he's a criminal.

1:29:23 Drew He's a criminal, yeah.

1:29:23 Adam I'm jealous, but criminal. Where did you meet this guy?

1:29:30 Caller Through family.

1:29:32 Drew How do you think your family would feel about this?

1:29:35 Adam Extra creepy.

1:29:35 Drew Yeah, extra weird. How do you think your family would feel about that? Because they're concerned about what that would mean to you.

1:29:47 Adam Hold on a second. Unless you're one of those crazy nationalities where this kind of stuff is cool, in which case we don't care. Is that true?

1:29:56 Drew No. No, she said her parents would freak out. As well they should. Not because there's something wrong with the guy or that they're concerned about what might happen to him. They're concerned about what's happening to you.

1:30:09 Adam Yes.

1:30:10 Drew That a 34 year old with a 16 year old is exploiting.

1:30:13 Adam And when we know this guy's not a good guy no matter how good he seems to you.

1:30:18 Drew Yeah.

1:30:18 Adam There's something wrong with him.

1:30:19 Drew No way, there's something very wrong.

1:30:21 Caller Yeah, it's kind of like when we're together too. We both know what's wrong and we constantly say it, but we're like, okay, we really shouldn't do anything.

1:30:30 Drew Well, here's the deal. Yeah, Allie, you're 16. It's not incumbent upon you to put an end to this the way it is the 34 year old. It's why the 34 year old has laws to urge them on to do the right thing. He's gonna go to jail if he has sex with you.

1:30:45 Adam All right, so and here's the whole thing. There is no good ending for you in this guy, especially after you have sex. Then you get drawn in, he becomes a criminal.

1:30:56 Caller Well, we're not, not that this justifies anything, but we weren't going to till I was 18, but.

1:31:02 Adam All right, but then that becomes even sort of creepier that he's gonna raise you like veal until it's harvesting time. Hymen harvesting time. Full moon, time to harvest the hymens. Yeah, get the sickle out.

1:31:18 Drew If you, I wish there was some way to sort of put you in the perspective of 34 year old, 34 year old Allie, 34 year old yourself, and look around at your peers and think, okay, one of these guys is gonna be dating a 16 year old. You just barf right there.

1:31:33 Adam You know what my new DJ name's gonna be? Dick Sickle. Dick Sickle. Yeah, Dick Sickle in the morning. 828, 28 after eight o'clock, Dick Sickle coming at you, a traffic and weather. We're gonna sickle size you guys later on, a sickle cell. Yeah, Dick Sickle. All right, all right, criminal. And then it gets really weird, creepy, and then sort of sad when it's like, yeah, but I'm just gonna build a shrine to you for two years.

1:32:09 Drew That's then who is that guy? Who is that 34 year old that has to do that?

1:32:12 Adam It's gonna be 36, be 18. It's weird, it's creepy. Find some guy you go to high school with.

1:32:18 Drew Please.

1:32:20 Caller Beth, yeah.

1:32:21 Adam Year 22?

1:32:22 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:32:23 Adam What's up, baby doll?

1:32:25 Caller I'm going through a divorce right now and I'm actually seeing someone else and it's just a casual relationship and I was kind of messing around but I'm starting to wonder if maybe it's more than just messing around and if I should get into something like that.

1:32:46 Drew How long have you been out of your marriage? No, give yourself a little time. It's okay to have a boyfriend, kind of somebody to hang out with but don't get too far in too fast or you can help him. Not a great idea.

1:32:58 Adam Yes, not good.

1:33:00 Drew Not a great idea.

1:33:00 Adam Drew's saying no. Do you have any kids? Good, phew. This is why you don't get married at 19, everybody, because you're 22 and you got a nice divorce under your belt.

1:33:15 Drew Yeah.

1:33:15 Adam Okay, stop using guys to prop yourself up. Spend a little time alone. It's good. It's a good character builder.

1:33:20 Drew Absolutely.

1:33:22 Adam All right.

1:33:23 Drew Good times.

1:33:23 Adam There you go. It really is. It's boring. It's lonely. It doesn't feel that good, but it does build you up to be alone.

1:33:30 Drew Yes.

1:33:30 Adam Yes?

1:33:31 Drew Yes.

1:33:32 Adam Drew, when we go the bathroom during this break, separate bathrooms.

1:33:36 Caller No.

1:33:36 Adam I need time to be. I need time for me. I need time for me.

1:33:39 Caller You got to build your character. Good.

1:33:40 Adam Just me and my stream. All right, sure. All right. We'll take a quick break. Drew, what'd you hit the mic with? You hit it with a Super Bowl ring? Jesus Christ. You hit a Liberace with that ring? Just get a regular size ring on ya. Quit advertising. People think it's like you're married twice with that thing. Just come on, get a nice, good something tasteful. Take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:34:23 Interpol This hour brought to you in part by AXE.

1:34:26 Caller Experience the AXE Effect.

1:34:57 Adam I want to thank Interpol for coming in here tonight, and look forward to Seth McFarlane from The Family Guy doing all the voices. Yes, maybe even voices he doesn't do. Yes, Drew? Hello, Chris. All right. No, he can't. Oh, yeah, he will. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you look forward to my beautiful rendition of blah, blah. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:35:20 Caller So I've been around a lot of white people, and the nigger, you got to stop that.

1:35:30 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Monday, September 27, 2004