Episode 1000645690292

0:58 Adam Audience.

0:59 Loveline may contain sexual.

1:03 Adam I can't actually get it together.

1:05 Drew Same thing three days ago.

1:07 Adam Yeah, I know.

1:08 Maybe it's a virus that we're, you know, sort of passing that step using our tongues.

1:23 Adam Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-dot-Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. The Great Kevin Nealon is in studio tonight.

1:31 Drew I believe you prefer it to be called Kevin Nealon, The Great.

1:34 Adam The Great.

1:35 Kevin Nealon Yeah, it usually comes after.

1:36 Adam Kevin The Great, you know, his work from Cranky Anchors. And well, that's about it. No, of course.

1:43 Kevin Nealon Even Aunt The Improv as well.

1:44 Adam Saturday Night Live. And just, I read it every time, but I'm always surprised. The longest running cast member in SNL history.

1:52 Drew I said that.

1:53 Kevin Nealon Well, not not not anymore.

1:55 Adam Not anymore.

1:55 Kevin Nealon That's an old bio thing.

1:57 Adam Yeah. Who's Beat you now?

1:58 Kevin Nealon Pardon me?

1:59 Adam Who who was?

2:00 Kevin Nealon Well, Tim Meadows has been out for a long time. And I think this year, Darryl Hammond will be quite a while.

2:07 Adam I remember you're saying a few years back that Phil Hartman was getting close. But Kevin put an end to that pretty. Oh, no, I mean, he made it look like an ass. He's very protective, Drew. He has a certain territory that it's like he's like he's he's he's like a mother tiger. You get you get near his cubs.

2:28 Kevin Nealon Those are you talking about me?

2:29 Adam Yeah. Yeah. SNL.

2:31 Kevin Nealon No, they're my cubs.

2:32 Adam No, not as cubs.

2:34 Kevin Nealon Those are my bitches.

2:35 Adam Yeah, but not as cubs. Kevin, I'm guessing is going to be.

2:40 Kevin Nealon It's like you're looking at my work, a teacher looking at my work and grading it.

2:51 Drew Let's see.

2:55 Adam Extra credits here. Yeah. Where are you going to be? At the Improv?

2:58 Kevin Nealon I'm going to be at the Improv in Irvine. We're out there in Orange County. OC.

3:04 Drew They seem to book some good stuff.

3:08 Kevin Nealon Yeah, they were on a run.

3:15 Adam What happened? Any good chain will hick up every once in a while. Maybe this is it. Then Nealon pulls out and we get a name in there. But here's what I'm saying. We have a lot of comedians coming through here. They're never plugging the Improv on Melrose. It's always Irvine Improv. I wonder if the Improv on Melrose isn't a moneymaker or it's not big enough.

3:35 Kevin Nealon Well, the one on Melrose is more of a showcase place. They don't really pay much.

3:38 Adam Right.

3:39 Kevin Nealon But the one in Irvine pays millions of dollars.

3:41 Drew Oh, good.

3:42 Adam How big? What is it? About 300?

3:44 Kevin Nealon Yeah, it's about, I'm guessing about 350. I'm not good with size numbers. I don't know, 8,000 maybe.

3:49 Adam Maybe 8,000, 10,000.

3:50 Kevin Nealon That's an arena. It's the first Improv Arena.

3:54 Adam Yeah. The Irvine Juice, the basketball team would play there if Kevin wasn't there. That is Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Two big shows most of those nights. Let me kiss a little Nealon ass. Kevin, who I've seen do stand up in the flesh. I know you haven't, Drew, but-

4:17 Kevin Nealon Drew, have you ever seen a comic perform?

4:19 Drew Not since about 1984.

4:22 Adam Yeah.

4:23 Kevin Nealon Who was that? Do you remember?

4:24 Adam Gitche Guy. Who did you see perform?

4:26 Kevin Nealon Don Ho.

4:28 Drew No. My fourth year of medical school, I went to a couple of clubs and I saw Rosie O'Donnell at the Improv.

4:35 Adam Bill Kirkenbauer.

4:37 Drew Then nobody, no name, anybody would know. Yeah.

4:41 Adam Well, not everyone makes it on the SNL. Now, let me say this about Kevin Nealon. I don't know who brought it up recently, but it came up just a couple of days ago. Maybe this isn't a compliment, but when people bring up Kevin Nealon in a stand-up, they go, Kevin Nealon is a really funny stand-up. Then someone else will go, I know, he's really funny, and then there'll be one person who goes, I haven't caught him, and then both people turn on him and go, no, you got to understand, he's really good at stand-up. So there's something about you that doesn't exude confidence or competence or something when it comes to stand-up.

5:19 Kevin Nealon No, I'm very, very funny man.

5:21 Adam You are, but your persona is low-key, maybe you're laid back and people. You know what you're like? You're like that kid in high school that was a bad ass, but wasn't a big talker and didn't wear tank tops. You know what I mean? And then once in a while people go, Mitch Schneider, I saw him kick the ass out of Tony Collider.

5:41 Drew He's like a downhill skier and no one knew it because no one gets to see it. And then, he's a championship skier.

5:46 Adam Yeah, he's good. He doesn't talk about it. Kevin doesn't, you got to pay him to be funny.

5:52 Kevin Nealon See, I hate to have to live up to something like that. I like them to come and be surprised or not be surprised.

5:59 Adam But better this way than the alternative.

6:01 Kevin Nealon Yeah, Kevin's not pretty good.

6:03 Adam I mean, he's great off stage. He's huge when no one's around. Yeah, decent guy. No, Kevin Nealon, great stand-up comedian. I've seen him on, well, actually one occasion. But he was good. He's one for one.

6:16 Kevin Nealon I have a couple of brothers and a brother that's a year older than me. And all my friends and my other brother even says, Mike's really the funny one. But the problem with Mike is he hasn't learned how to cultivate it. You know, it's more of the five beer funny. You know, with the cookies on the eyes, you know, being silly with the waitresses and stuff.

6:35 Adam Yeah, that is, by the way, every family that has a successful comedian son or brother or whatever, there's always someone else in the family that they're touting as the funny one.

6:47 Drew Always declare that.

6:49 Adam You know what you should do?

6:49 Drew You understand, I'm not the funny one.

6:50 Adam But you know what you should do? We should fire back and whatever they do, that's what we do better. Like, my sister cuts hair when they announce that she's the funny one. I go, yeah, but I cut a hell of a head of hair. I cut hair better than that bitch. So come on, come on with it.

7:04 Kevin Nealon I'm a better, you know, undercover. It was a DEA. I worked for the DEA.

7:08 Adam You're hell of a lot. Put the windbreaker on, Kevin.

7:10 Drew Look at that.

7:11 Adam The windbreaker. It looks like you painted on him.

7:13 Kevin Nealon It's beautiful.

7:15 Drew DEA is a laugh a minute.

7:18 Adam Undercover.

7:20 Drew Wow. I guess you got to have a sense of humor.

7:23 Kevin Nealon I remember one time my father was visiting him and we all sounded like on the phone, my father, my brothers, and his partner, you know, these guys work with partners, partner called my brother who was out at the time. My father answered the phone and they thought it was my brother. And without even like asking, his partner started saying, all right, Mike, he's arrived out the airport. We're gonna go down and meet him. I'll see you there in a half hour. So I think my father is such a nice guy. I thought my father would probably go down there just to help out.

7:52 Adam Did your brother, is he taking down any perps lately? Perps or perps? Perps. Perps. Has he been shot at? Anything good?

8:00 Kevin Nealon He's been in fights. You know, he's got a knife wound on his hand.

8:03 Adam Wow.

8:03 Kevin Nealon But that was from peeling an apple.

8:05 Adam Is he, do you say he was DEA?

8:07 Kevin Nealon Yeah.

8:08 Adam Wow. Undercover.

8:09 Kevin Nealon He worked for the DEA. He was with the Atlanta Police Department.

8:12 Adam Wow. And no more retired?

8:14 Kevin Nealon Yeah, he retired and now he's a private investigator. Yeah.

8:19 Adam Let me tell you something about when cops retire. Cops retiring, you never ask like when one of your mom's friends had to have some outpatient surgery. Pelvic surgery. Yeah. See, what I'm saying is like when a cop goes, I was with the Atlanta PD for about 13 years and then I retired. Why do you? No, no, no. No, I never do because it's like I saw my partner die or I shot my old lady or broke down and killed a nine-year-old black kid who was using one of those hose sprayer things. It gets weird and it gets scary just like the mom's friend. She had a little light surge. I'm like, it's good. I hope she's fine because the vagina and the ovaries and the parts are all going to enter in in just a matter of seconds.

9:02 Drew Yeah.

9:02 Kevin Nealon When he first started, he's a cop.

9:04 Adam I don't want to know anymore. I don't want to.

9:07 Drew No, he first started.

9:08 Adam Okay.

9:09 Kevin Nealon And he got a call that there was a rape in progress behind a gas station.

9:12 Adam Wow, in progress.

9:13 Kevin Nealon Yeah, when you get a call like that, it's a long way.

9:17 Adam Yeah.

9:17 Kevin Nealon But so he gets there, he goes to the behind a gas station and he's nervous and he sees the door open to the bathroom and he kicks it in and there's this old older guy on top of this older woman and there's crutches there, you know. And he pulls the guy off the top of her and throws him in the cop car, comes back to get the woman and turns out it was the woman that was doing the right. No, it was the guy who owned the crutches and they knew each other. They're like two homeless people and they knew each other and it was just a rendezvous for them.

9:47 Adam Oh really?

9:49 Kevin Nealon So he dragged the guy to the car not knowing he couldn't walk.

9:52 Drew Oh no.

9:53 Adam Oh yeah. That's you gotta retire.

9:55 Drew You gotta retire.

9:56 Kevin Nealon Yeah.

9:56 Adam All right. But then for the rest of your life, no one asks with you. You know what I mean? It's true. It's like being some sort of judo champ at college or something like people just leave you alone.

10:06 Drew Oh yeah.

10:07 Kevin Nealon He'll mess with a cripple guy.

10:09 Adam Yeah.

10:09 Drew He doesn't care for cripples.

10:10 Adam He's a badass. He doesn't care. Nikki?

10:13 Yeah.

10:13 Adam You're 28?

10:16 Caller Yeah.

10:16 Adam What's up?

10:18 Caller I want to know like when I'm having an orgasm, is there supposed to be like, you know, something that comes out to let me know I'm having an orgasm? I don't know if I'm having one or not.

10:35 Drew You're not having one.

10:36 Adam I use a little kazoo like character that pops up over my shoulder to give me a little heads up.

10:41 Drew Dum dum.

10:43 Adam You're having an orgasm.

10:44 Kevin Nealon Isn't there a big O that lights up somewhere?

10:46 Drew Somewhere, but you may not see it. But, Nikki, no, no, no. You do not have to have anything come out. Most women do not have anything come out. But if you were having an orgasm, you would know you're having an orgasm. So you're basically not having one.

10:59 Caller I get this like, you know, rush of like blood to my head and I'm like sweaty and I get like this very intense sensation all over my body, but it's like I just want to know is there something that's supposed something else that's supposed to let me know?

11:16 Adam No, and your boyfriend should let you know.

11:19 Drew You're not having an orgasm.

11:20 Adam Yeah. Here's the thing. You're 28, Nikki.

11:23 Drew You're like we're talking to a 12 year old.

11:25 Adam Where are you from? Haiti or something?

11:30 Drew This is where you before?

11:31 Adam Before then? Wow. That was that that accent was born on this soil.

11:38 Drew And by the way, she's calling from Indiana, having just cruised up there this evening.

11:42 Adam Really? So you're from Louisiana.

11:46 Drew Which is getting creamed tonight.

11:48 Adam I was going to suggest we bomb it. I don't know if they're playing in the United States.

11:52 Kevin Nealon Are they playing tonight?

11:54 Drew Ivan has come to shore in Louisiana.

11:56 Adam Oh, really?

11:56 Kevin Nealon Yeah, mobile.

11:57 Drew Turn on the TV. It's all you see.

11:58 Adam Yeah, I think I thought it missed New Orleans and is heading toward Mobile, Alabama.

12:03 Kevin Nealon This is so much like guys, you know, you start talking about orgasms. They're talking about hurricanes.

12:07 Adam Yeah. Hey, Nikki.

12:11 Caller All right.

12:12 Adam So I'm picturing you growing up like on a swamp.

12:16 Caller Not exactly on the swamp, but I mean, we weren't far from swamp areas.

12:21 Drew What he's saying is that you seem sort of undeveloped, that you wouldn't understand your body a little better at 28. Do you have a boyfriend now?

12:29 Caller Yeah.

12:30 Drew How long have you been with him?

12:32 Caller Three years.

12:33 Drew Okay.

12:35 Adam Does he give you oral sex?

12:37 Caller Yeah.

12:38 Adam He does. Do you enjoy that?

12:41 Drew Basically, you'll know we have an orgasm when there's a release afterwards.

12:45 Adam Yeah, but not a release of any, you know, no fluids or anything.

12:48 Drew No pidgeons, no doves, no fluids. Just a release of tension.

12:52 Adam Yeah, so let the games begin. No, it's one of those things where it's sort of hard to explain, but it truly is one of those, I mean, you know, we have a few of those in the society, like when you go into the Mercedes dealership and you say, how much is your car? And they go, well, if you have to ask. It's like, well, I'd still like to know how much. No, I got to cut a check. At a certain point, you have to tell me how much your car is. That's ridiculous. But I think with the orgasm, you truly do know. If you have to ask, you haven't had one, right? You would know. Yes.

13:21 Drew Absolutely. There's a build to irrational proportions.

13:26 Adam It's nice to have some confirmation. It's nice to get that diploma.

13:30 Drew Yes.

13:30 Kevin Nealon Also, you know, it's hard to explain what an orgasm really feels like to someone who hasn't had one.

13:35 Drew Yes. Right. That's right.

13:36 Kevin Nealon It's like describing a color to a blind person. Right. Describe that feeling.

13:41 Adam Well, I mean, color, big afro, flared nostrils, yelling.

13:47 Drew It's because it's a...

13:48 Adam Are you saying... Oh, you were... I thought you were being derogatory. Okay. I'm sorry. I misunderstood you, Kevin.

13:55 Drew Because it is a specific somatic experience. It is what it is. Right.

13:59 Kevin Nealon And if you use any more big words like that, I'm going to have to leave.

14:02 Drew Okay.

14:02 Adam All right. Kevin is modest, but probably not only the funniest stand-up comedian... .currently in this studio, arguably the funniest stand-up comedian.

14:14 Kevin Nealon There's a good word, arguably.

14:16 Adam Arguably.

14:16 Kevin Nealon I always wonder, does somebody have to argue to prove the point?

14:20 Adam Yeah, and not only that, it's not saying much. It's sort of like when arguably the best stand-up, well, there's many people that would argue vehemently against Kevin Nealon being even considered in the top tier, even close to the top tier.

14:33 Drew But you could argue on his behalf.

14:35 Adam I would argue back, yes, but I'd probably be beaten down by the roar of naysayers. They do that in sports too and they'll do that one, John Elway, as good as any quarterback in the league. Well, maybe better. He's got a couple of Super Bowl rings and he's going in the Hall of Fame next week. Probably better. I don't like that as good as, not the best guy.

14:59 Kevin Nealon I was in some little town in the south and it was one gas station and it was called Best. I thought, what a waste. You didn't even have to use that name, you don't have to.

15:08 Adam Right.

15:08 Kevin Nealon You said good.

15:10 Adam You only need best when there's more than one of you. I like that too. I don't know, we're just going off on a tangent here. Every once in a while, I remember when I was in junior high and high school and there'd be the elections would come up every year. There'd be the treasurer and the student body president. Drew was the student body president by the way. Once in a while, there'd be some crappy gig like secretary of the cafeteria or something and they would run unopposed and the person would still give a speech which I don't agree with and the other thing is they would always do that. Even though I'm running unopposed, I still need your vote and I thought, no, no you don't. Not if you vote. The worst you're going to do is a tie. You have to be, you'll be in. If you vote for you, you're in. You don't need my vote. It just means you're insecure. We shouldn't be hearing this speech right now.

16:03 Drew They're afraid of write-ins.

16:03 Adam Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

16:06 Drew That's how insecure they are.

16:07 Adam Yeah. I think North Hollywood High would actually let felons vote in their elections, too, with a lot of prisoners writing in from Chino and other outlying prison colonies. Oh, wait a minute. Let's see. Let's talk to Jamie. Jamie, you're 17. What's up?

16:24 Caller I have a blister on my vagina and I was wondering what it might be.

16:28 Drew What do you mean blister? I mean, like it's clear liquid in it, clear fluid?

16:33 Caller It just looks like a regular blister. It's just like the same color and everything.

16:37 Drew Does it hurt?

16:39 Caller What?

16:39 Drew Does it hurt?

16:41 Caller A little bit. Not really.

16:43 Adam It's on the edge of the vagina?

16:45 Caller Yeah, it's on my lips.

16:47 Adam Mm-hmm. You weren't doing that trick where you smoked the unfiltered cigarette down there, were you?

16:51 Drew You mean where you got it burned down there?

16:53 Adam Yeah, I had a girlfriend try it once and it looked funny. Was she a stripper? Well, what we did is we put some sunglasses on her lap and then put a cigarette in there. It was funny. At the time, it was a funny Christmas card, I thought.

17:05 Drew Until she got burned.

17:06 Adam Yeah, until she got burned.

17:10 Drew Jamie, herpes is classically described as a grouping of a cluster of small blisters on a red base.

17:18 Caller I've only been with one person for three years.

17:21 Drew I'm just saying. If you want to know what a blister is, that's the one thing you worry about.

17:28 Kevin Nealon Can I offer something, Dr. Drew? Do you wear tight jeans? Without underwear?

17:35 Drew Sometimes.

17:35 Kevin Nealon There you go. That could be it.

17:38 Adam Like Kevin was talking about penis.

17:39 Drew There are inclusion cysts and things like that where glands can get clogged and swell. It may just be something like that, so you need to have a doctor take a look at it. And be sure to do it while it's still there because these things are clinically diagnosed. There's no test for them. It depends how they look.

17:52 Kevin Nealon I'm sticking with the jeans.

17:54 Adam All right.

17:54 Kevin Nealon Did you wear jeans in the last few days? Tight?

17:58 Adam Yeah.

17:59 Kevin Nealon I wouldn't worry about it.

18:00 Adam Nealon knows.

18:00 Kevin Nealon Go have fun.

18:01 Adam Kevin is a guy who rarely wears underpants and almost always wears very tight jeans. Kevin seems to think that's the answer.

18:09 Kevin Nealon Sergio Valente jeans. Designer jeans.

18:13 Adam Thank Christ we're not packing our prodigious sacks and belly rolls into those things now. What a disaster. What did 45 year old guys do by the way in 1977? They just had to shoehorn their junk into those jeans? I guess if you were single you had to do that.

18:33 Drew Well not everyone screwed up heads towards Mecca like yours. Yours is...

18:37 Adam It's prominent. What can I say?

18:39 Kevin Nealon I loved it when Levi's came out. Was it Levi's that came out with a relaxed fit?

18:42 Adam Yeah. Oh yeah. And then the ones with the scotch more room and the seat and thigh. Perfect. Yeah. Nice. But the problem is now I only feel comfortable if I'm wearing like a bed sheet and half a pair of underpants. I leave the house. Yeah, I really do. I leave the house just wearing a toga and flip-flops. The idea of just wearing 501s feels confining now.

19:08 Kevin Nealon Yeah.

19:09 Adam It's really weird. It's like, I got to wear sweatpants. I got to wear just a towel around my waist. But I don't want to have to.

19:15 Kevin Nealon That's what Rodney Dangerfield always does. He would show up to the clubs wearing pajamas.

19:19 Drew Is that right?

19:20 Kevin Nealon Yeah. Or a bathrobe.

19:21 Drew What do you remember now?

19:22 Adam You remember when Dangerfield did our show?

19:24 Drew Yeah.

19:25 Adam We did the TV show. And, oh, by the way, Rodney Dangerfield, for those of you who haven't met him in person, a delight. A delight. Hey, how you doing? A delightful. Yeah. Oh, what a scared guy.

19:39 Kevin Nealon I worked on-

19:40 Adam God, I hate that guy.

19:41 Kevin Nealon I worked on a movie with him a couple years ago. And I said, how you doing, Rodney? And he looked at me and goes, I'm coughing up blood now. He was serious. And a week later, he had his heart surgery.

19:54 Adam Here's the thing about Dangerfield. The guys looked at as a bit of a living legend in this business. Everyone I've ever talked to about him says he's a colossal prick, including myself, who's met him a couple of times and found him to be a horrible man.

20:09 Kevin Nealon I've never experienced that with him.

20:11 Adam I think you have.

20:12 Kevin Nealon He's always been nice to me.

20:13 Adam No, he hasn't. No, he hasn't. Well, we met him. Well, when he did the TV show, by the way.

20:18 Drew Well, he was not an offensive guy. He just wasn't sort of connected.

20:21 Adam Jackass. I think it's fair to say.

20:23 Drew Blowhard.

20:23 Adam Let's put it this way. When he did the Loveline TV show, he was in his dressing room. I decided to go in there and greet him before he came on to the show and just kick the tires a little bit. So I came in. And he's sitting on the sofa with that crazy Buddha belly hanging out of his bathrobe. And sure enough, he is in his pajama. Oftentimes he just wears a bathrobe. Yeah. Places. By the way. He should be your idol. You're describing your future. He's the idol of many Chinese because he had the gut. He just had a gut sticking out and the belly button that just looked like a doorbell. Just pow. Just like a Biafran kiss.

21:12 Kevin Nealon I see a lot of older guys with a big gut and I wonder how do they live with that? I know how it happens. I don't know how it stays there.

21:20 Adam Well, I guess you start wearing a bathrobe around. So he was sitting there and he was very glassy-eyed and I came in there and I said, hey, Rodney, I just want to introduce myself and he went, who are you? And I was like, I'm the host. So what do you want? I was like, it's saying good to see you, you know, come on the show. Yeah, okay, whatever. Then he came on the show. After the show, we do those quick wraparound things where it's like, you know, everyone leaves and they do that. Hi, I'm Rodney Dangerfield. Catch me after Real World on MTV's Loveline. He wouldn't do them. He wouldn't. And he said, hey, Rodney, it's going to take 30 seconds. No, not going to do it. It's like we could have been done by now. Now I got to get a haircut.

22:00 Drew Dude, this guy is your idol.

22:01 Adam He had to get a haircut. Do you remember that? He had to get a haircut.

22:05 Drew He just got up and left.

22:06 Adam He just got up and left. All right. So listen, he was a prick. I mean, let's face it. I'm just saying, here's all I'm saying. And not all that funny, by the way, either.

22:13 Kevin Nealon How long ago was that?

22:15 Adam Oh, man. Five, six years ago.

22:17 Kevin Nealon Okay, maybe the heart attack changed him.

22:18 Adam He's a nice guy now.

22:19 Kevin Nealon I've always had a nice experience with him.

22:21 Adam Really? No.

22:23 Kevin Nealon I get back rubs and everything from the man.

22:24 Adam All right. We're going to take a break. Kevin Nealon is going to tell me off the air what kind of real experience he had with Ronnie Dangerfield or I will not plug his appearances coming up at the Braya Improv.

22:37 Kevin Nealon Maybe he wasn't being nice because he wasn't getting respect.

22:40 Adam Oh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

22:42 Kevin Nealon Did he say anything about not getting respect?

22:44 Adam No, but he did grab a tie and he almost choked himself because he was wearing a bathrobe. All right. We're going to take a little break. Kevin Nealon at the Braya Improv Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

22:52 Kevin Nealon No, that's the Irvine Improv. Irvine.

22:55 Adam Is there a Braya? Am I making that up?

22:56 Kevin Nealon Yeah, there is a Braya. They're the same thing. They're just out in Orange County.

22:59 Adam Is it a different place?

23:01 Kevin Nealon It is.

23:01 Drew We were talking about Braya last night.

23:02 Adam Oh, is that? Was someone named Braya?

23:04 Drew Nicky Zeris from Braya.

23:05 Kevin Nealon This one's Irvine.

23:07 Adam Or Braya is what she pronounces it. Anyway, Irvine Improv Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Surprisingly, arguably, the best standup comedian in this room, Drew. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

23:21 Kevin Nealon Well, I'll tell you what, sweetheart, I think I'll have the french fries, bitch. And Angel will also give me the hammocker whore. And I don't think I'll take any ketchup with that.

23:45 Drew I can't believe I'm trying to practice medicine in that condition.

23:50 Adam What is that? I mean, I just had a sick little thing. They should feel good. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Kevin Nealon, arguably one of the funniest stand-up comics working in the Irvine improv this Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. He did two big shows, by the way, on Friday and Saturday. Yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you, you gotta see him do stand-up. You really do. You don't need to see the whole act, but you should just catch the beginning part.

24:27 Kevin Nealon One of the best arguers around. No, arguably.

24:30 Adam Arguably, one of the best arguers.

24:32 Drew Literally, arguably.

24:33 Adam Yeah. Oh, my God. I was just watching TV tonight and they did that thing where they go, and the short stop, literally, he came from nowhere, got the ball and threw it up. He literally came from nowhere. Literally, literally, he came. And it's like, if I see another person go, I literally, I jumped out of my skin. I literally, I literally, I literally jumped out of my skin.

24:59 Drew There was.

24:59 Adam There was. Just as if I'd shed my clothing. I literally jumped out of my skin.

25:05 Kevin Nealon You know what's another word that's kind of misconstrued is the enormity of a situation. It doesn't mean big.

25:14 Adam Oh, really?

25:14 Kevin Nealon No.

25:15 Drew What does it mean?

25:15 Adam It should mean.

25:16 Kevin Nealon It's like an evil connotation.

25:17 Drew Oh, is that right?

25:18 Adam Yeah. Oh, it really is. We know that.

25:21 Kevin Nealon So I got to tell you, I really got ripped away from a good TV show tonight to come down here. Maria Shriver, entering.

25:27 Drew I was just watching it.

25:28 Kevin Nealon Roy and.

25:28 Drew Yes.

25:28 Kevin Nealon Seeker and Roy.

25:29 Drew Oh, really? What was up?

25:31 Kevin Nealon Troy's in the chair.

25:33 Drew That's what I expected. But people are like, oh, he's made great progress. He's hemi-puretic. He's just gone at one time.

25:37 Adam He's hemi-puretic.

25:38 Drew Gone.

25:39 Kevin Nealon Means he's got a hemi coming out of his head.

25:41 Drew He's just gone on one side.

25:42 Adam I mean, hemisphere.

25:43 Drew Yeah.

25:43 Adam The paralysis in one hemisphere of the brain.

25:47 Drew Yeah, well, one half of the body completely.

25:49 Adam Hemi-puretic. See?

25:50 Kevin Nealon Hemi-puretic.

25:52 Adam Thank God North Hollywood High had that Latin program for me. I studied very hard.

25:56 Drew But I mean, this whole host company is looking like he'll be doing magic in no time. Yeah? How'd it look to you, Kevin?

26:03 Kevin Nealon It looked pretty bad.

26:04 Adam Yeah. Was he speaking? Was he able to speak?

26:06 Kevin Nealon He was speaking, but he was speaking as if he was recovering from a stroke. Am I right, Drew?

26:11 Adam Right.

26:11 Drew That would be about what's happening, I'd say.

26:13 Adam The good news with the gay guys and the neck injuries is they're prone to scarf-wearing anyway. So it's always, you know, it's very-

26:20 Drew And it's pretty lack, too. It goes very nicely with that.

26:22 Adam It's smart. In general, with hickeys, with line attacks, whatever happens, it's a good idea to sort of, it's like a guy who's not bald wearing a baseball cap early in his career. So later on when the hair falls out, everyone knows he's got the cap.

26:38 Drew The problem here though is clearly not the neck injury, the massive stroke, massive stroke.

26:41 Kevin Nealon The thing, they were showing-

26:42 Drew The half his brain is gone, basically.

26:44 Adam Well, what, now what happened, Drew?

26:45 Kevin Nealon I'll tell you exactly what happened because I was watching part of it before I came down here. He came out like he does every night with Montevaney, whatever the tires- Montagore. Montagore, yeah, the white tire, and comes out and introduces it to the audience and says, this is his first night, and he's a little nervous, and it's not really his first night. He's been doing it for 3,000 shows, and for some reason on this night, Montagore-

27:15 Adam I thought we were, look, a little preview for the- No, I thought you actually came out with- No, this is what-

27:21 Kevin Nealon I actually come out with Montagore, too.

27:23 Adam Right.

27:23 Drew It's a different thing. All right.

27:25 Kevin Nealon Anyway, for some reason, the tiger bit onto his arm, and he told the tiger to release his arm, and he did, but as he did, he fell backwards. Roy fell backwards onto the stage, and the tiger, I guess trying to help him, picked him up by the neck. There was no screaming by Roy. He just kind of went limp, and the tiger just nonchalantly dragged him, carried him off stage like a baby cub.

27:49 Adam Dragged him and then released him?

27:51 Kevin Nealon There was no blood, nothing. And they, backstage, he, you know, they let him, somehow they got him out of there.

27:58 Adam Did he release him? I mean, we've heard this story before.

28:03 Drew Drew is too cynical to believe it. No, no, he didn't grab him and shake him.

28:06 Kevin Nealon No.

28:06 Drew I mean, he wasn't trying to destroy him.

28:08 Adam Yeah, well, I mean, one could argue that if the tiger was going to maul him, he would need 700,000 stitches, right? I mean, he'd be...

28:16 Drew Done.

28:16 Adam Although, I would have those things declawed almost immediately, by the way.

28:21 Kevin Nealon Here's the big thing, by the way. The story was really supposed to be about Siegfried and Roy, but they were touting it as Maria Shriver coming back to TV, the first lady of the Governor of California. Really?

28:32 Adam Wow.

28:32 Kevin Nealon So, you know, some guy miraculously recovers from a tiger attack. It's in the wheelchair, but yet it's really about Maria.

28:39 Adam Well, now...

28:40 Drew They had a stroke, then they hit his carotid artery or something, and they stroked out.

28:43 Adam Okay, so the tiger punctures the artery in the neck. And, by the way, if you ever get one of those full-size tires and sort of peel the lip back and take a look at that tooth, I mean, you've seen the, you know, you've seen the guidos with the shark tooth in New Jersey. I mean, this thing is incredible. You know, this thing looks like a three-inch dagger.

29:02 Kevin Nealon It's like an elephant's tusk.

29:06 Adam So that punctures the artery and the brain, the supply of blood to the brain is cut off. Is that what happens?

29:15 Drew I imagine that's it.

29:15 Kevin Nealon I don't know the exact, I assume that's what it was, a carotid artery or something.

29:19 Adam And then he has a stroke.

29:20 Drew Right.

29:21 Adam Now is that what happens when blood is cut off to the brain?

29:23 Drew Yeah, your brain dies. That part of your brain just dies.

29:25 Kevin Nealon That's why you should take an aspirin every day.

29:27 Adam Can it come back?

29:28 Drew No. Brain is over. That's just part of your, half your head's gone.

29:32 Kevin Nealon Well, how come people that have strokes can relearn to talk again? That's the other side of their brain?

29:36 Drew No. They'll never be the same. No. They're just using other areas and they're bypassing some, but those are small strokes they learn to talk in. I mean, when they're...

29:44 Adam Those are tremors. Those are big earthquakes.

29:46 Drew You have a big, what's called middle cerebral artery event. It's just, you're not the same.

29:50 Adam Are you a real doctor or just a love doctor?

29:55 Kevin Nealon How will I know if I have a stroke?

29:57 Drew You won't.

29:58 Kevin Nealon We will. Will it be coming out?

29:59 Adam We'll tell you. You'll only be doing three shows at Derivine Improv instead of four nights.

30:05 Drew He had a left-sided stroke, right?

30:07 Adam Hold on, Kevin. You got to do... It's time. It's time. Here's what I'm saying. For a while in the 80s, it was in vogue to have these sort of handy-capable comedians. I saw them on The Facts of Life. There was a handful of comedians out there that were deaf and had speech impediments and had cerebral palsy and stuff like that. You do Nealon stroked out.

30:34 Drew Oh, man.

30:35 Adam Kevin Nealon with a stroke. He's continuing to go on.

30:39 Drew That'd be so funny.

30:41 Adam That would be great comedy.

30:42 Drew He had a left, as I recall, his left side was out, so he speaks, his language was intact.

30:46 Kevin Nealon He's like Kurt Douglas.

30:47 Drew Language was intact, but he has what's called anasognosia, and so everything on the left gets ignored. Left doesn't exist for them. It's a very strange state.

30:57 Adam Really?

30:57 Kevin Nealon So he knows nothing about the Democrats?

30:59 Drew No.

31:00 Adam Only wrong. So if you have a stroke, and it's just luck of the draw what part of your brain it affects?

31:08 Drew Basically.

31:08 Adam Basically. And you could have a stroke that didn't affect your speech per say.

31:13 Drew Well speech is all right side.

31:15 Adam So it affects your left side. I mean his left side is affected.

31:20 Drew When I say right side, I mean I would be right side of the body, left side of the brain is speech. Right side of the brain, left side of the body is the anti-sugnosia.

31:28 Adam And so he can't use his left arm, his left leg.

31:32 Kevin Nealon Wouldn't it be terrible if, you know, like when you get shot with an arrow, sometimes they say, I can't take it out otherwise you'll die, we're gonna leave it in. What if the tiger, they had to make sure that the tiger still grasped on, he had to live the rest of his life with a tiger on his neck.

31:45 Drew Would have prevented the stroke.

31:46 Kevin Nealon Yeah.

31:46 Adam I was thinking, I have thought about it, and we've talked about this before, it's got to be the worst part of an already bad injury when the rebar's impaling you and it's going through your chest and you're at the process, not where you're pulling it out, but where you're sawing it off so we can take you to the hospital. Just the idea that we're not really doing anything about this rebar going through other than just cutting it loose from the cement retaining wall.

32:10 Kevin Nealon One of the funniest cartoons I saw, I think it was in some newspaper, it was at this guy in the doctor's office and he had a big arrow through him, big arrow, and the doctor said to him, he goes, now, just, I want to warn you, this may tickle a little bit when I pull it out because of the feathers.

32:28 Adam All right, Drew, are we going to say one thing or are we going to the funnels? Are we good? All right, interesting. All right, so never going to perform again?

32:35 Drew It will, but it won't be the same. If you take some of the anti-signos and have them draw a clock, they'll only draw, they'll cram it all on the right side. It's just a complete, I mean, their brain is not working right and they don't process emotions normally and things.

32:51 Kevin Nealon Even if you tell them to draw a circle?

32:53 Drew They draw the circle, but they push, it would be lopsided and they would push everything.

32:57 Kevin Nealon It looked more like a peanut.

32:59 Drew But then also if you said draw a clock, all the numbers would be on the right side.

33:02 Kevin Nealon They make clocks like that, by the way.

33:03 Adam Salvador Dali. Krista?

33:07 Yeah.

33:07 Adam You're 19?

33:09 Caller Yeah.

33:09 Adam What's happening, baby doll?

33:11 Caller Well, I've been dating my boyfriend for about three and a half years and about six months before I started dating him, I was raped by two guys. And they put me on Zoloft and Wellbutrin, and then I stopped taking it and about six, eight months ago, I completely lost my sex drive. Like, it just plummeted to zero. It didn't like taper off at all.

33:35 Kevin Nealon You're wearing tight jeans?

33:38 Adam No, Kevin, not everything's tight jeans.

33:39 Drew This is off the antidepressants.

33:41 Adam Roy, however, was wearing tight jeans when he was attacked.

33:44 Drew Off the antidepressants, you had a loss of sex drive.

33:47 Adam Well, let me ask, were the two guys raped you simultaneously?

33:51 Caller I don't know. I passed out. I was drunk.

33:57 Adam Oh, okay. Yeah, but when you say two guys raped you, you mean in one evening? It wasn't two separate events.

34:02 Kevin Nealon Were these guys you knew?

34:04 Caller They went to my high school. I didn't know them.

34:06 Adam They went to your high school?

34:07 Kevin Nealon It was like a big party probably in high school.

34:09 Adam And so you got drunk and you passed out at a party.

34:13 Caller Right.

34:13 Adam And how do you know they... Yeah?

34:15 Caller Well, I woke up with my pants down around my ankles and I was a virgin at the time so I had lost my virginity.

34:22 Drew And no sexual abuse in childhood? No weird touching or anything?

34:29 Adam But how do you know that they had intercourse with you?

34:32 Caller I don't know completely, 100 percent, but I just assume. And I went to therapy and they said, well, you were raped and whatever. And I'm in therapy now. And they just put me on Lexapro and.

34:46 Drew But again, understand these antidepressants can totally shut off your sex drive. So first thing I want to establish is that the change in libido correlate in any way with the medication.

34:56 Caller I think so.

34:59 Drew The medication. Listen, Chris, the medication will completely shut down your sex drive. The Zoloft Lexapro less so, but it can Prozac. All the serotonin reuptake inhibitors can cause a severe drop in your sex drive. In fact, with women, particularly, sex looks sort of irritating, like seeing people kiss is like, Oh, what are they doing that?

35:15 Adam Well, I got the same. I fast forward through that part.

35:18 Drew I know.

35:18 Adam Right.

35:18 Drew So Chris, that's not a normal thing for Christa. And so are you having those sorts of feelings now?

35:24 Caller Yeah, I won't even kiss him.

35:26 Drew Yeah, that's the end of the person.

35:28 Adam But here's the part I worry about is that you just assumed two guys raped you when obviously something happened, but not necessarily. And why not, you know, you know, like always look on the bright side? Well, I mean, if I'm the guy who's on the firing squad and one of us has a blank, I'm going to assume that I was the guy who had the gun with the blank just to get through my day. You know what I'm saying? Why not? OK, assume these guys did something, diddled you, what have you.

35:54 Drew Well, that's why it sounds...

35:55 Adam The fact that they both have an intercourse with you, I was raped by two guys.

35:58 Drew That's why she sounds like a victim.

36:00 Adam I know.

36:00 Drew That's why I was...

36:01 Adam So what's going on with that? Christa? And you lost your virginity to these guys, but did you ever get up?

36:08 Kevin Nealon I think she did.

36:09 Adam You ever get a medical evaluation?

36:11 Caller No, I didn't, but I did go to therapy and I told them what I thought had happened and they basically said, well, you were raped and you don't need to deny it, you need to admit it.

36:23 Adam Yeah, these were angry lesbians. Yes? Yeah.

36:26 Caller Well, I probably.

36:27 Adam Probably. And by the way, first off, there's way too much of that stuff. Like, I had a dream my dad molested me. Oh, okay, you're a victim. You got to write him a letter. Put it on his grave.

36:37 Drew Victim is as victim does. You have to earn victim status.

36:40 Adam Well, here's the thing, too. Three-quarters of the people that you're talking to who are therapists, especially if they're women, are nuts and were diddled. Let's be honest with you. You want an old Jew with a bad beard and dandruff, quite frankly. Horrible hygiene, by the way. And a corduroy jacket with the suede patches on the sleeves. And it'd be nice if he strokes a lap dog while he's doing the device. And a smoker's nice, too.

37:06 Kevin Nealon You're thinking a doctor? No, no.

37:08 Adam I'm turning him into a doctor evil. Yeah. All right. No, wait a second. Never victim, parents together, no alcoholism or drug abuse in the family?

37:20 Caller My dad's an alcoholic and he lives in Georgia.

37:22 Drew Yeah. And did they physically abuse you or anything when you were growing up?

37:27 Caller When I was younger, my brother did.

37:30 Drew You just sound like a victim.

37:31 Adam There's something up. Yeah.

37:32 Drew You're just ready to be a victim. And you didn't go take action, you didn't get a medical exam, you didn't protect yourself, come to your own defense, you're blaming other people for your status as a rape victim. It's just, it's all victim.

37:45 Adam Someone's got to rape you, Drew.

37:46 Drew No, but I mean she's saying the therapist told me I'm a victim, so therefore I am.

37:49 Adam And I'll take it a step further, the therapist probably didn't say you were raped, now get over it or it's time to act accordingly. They probably said, well, there's a chance you may be a victim.

38:02 Drew Yeah, why don't deny that? Let's just get on with the talk.

38:05 Adam Right, they rarely speak.

38:06 Kevin Nealon But why can't she be a victim?

38:08 Adam I don't know. No, I'm just saying we know that there's something in her past that is relevant because she is so sure that she was victimized by these two guys. And I'm sure they did something and they deserve something bad to happen to them. But why go through as the double rape victim?

38:28 Drew Well, you're in therapy.

38:29 Adam It's fine.

38:30 Drew It's antidepressant or what's grown with your sex drive probably. Now, not to say that the victimization, whatever it was that happened, you couldn't also come to bear on your libido. It certainly will.

38:39 Adam And an alcoholic dad in Georgia is something you should focus on in therapy too.

38:43 Drew Yes.

38:43 Adam Although I've not been to Georgia, but I understand you have to be an alcoholic.

38:49 Drew But not a dad. But not a dad.

38:50 Adam Oh.

38:51 Drew So.

38:52 Adam All right. So I know the laws vary from state to state.

38:54 Drew There's a reason they're in Georgia.

38:56 Adam Right.

38:56 Drew Krista, yeah, the alcoholic dad and the abandonment, all those issues, that's what you're focusing on in therapy, making it what's called a cohesive narrative of your life.

39:04 Adam We will take ourselves a little break. Kevin Nealon, arguably one of the best arguers in Southern California, is going to be at the Irvine Improv, arguably one of the best comedy clubs in Orange County. He's going to be there Thursday, Friday. And Friday, arguably the best day of the week because, you know, there's, thank God, it's Friday, there's TGI. You know, there's a restaurant, there's a movie.

39:31 Kevin Nealon That's probably the most popular day of the week.

39:33 Adam Arguably, yeah. And it's furthest away from Monday, really, if you think about it.

39:36 Kevin Nealon But really, the weekend's starting on Thursday for most people.

39:39 Adam Yeah, for most of us out here in Southern California enjoying that lifestyle. Arguably one of the best states in the union.

39:45 Kevin Nealon Notably one of the best states. Notably.

39:47 Adam Yeah. And it's that people don't understand the enormity, by the way, of the notability. OK, go Drew, look it up. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.

40:21 Kevin Nealon Oh, I went to San Maria.

40:28 Adam Talk to the gate guy.

40:30 Drew Keeper.

40:30 I think it's nice.

40:31 Adam Something with the G.

40:32 Two, one, go.

40:34 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew.

40:39 Kevin Nealon Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

40:41 Adam Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Kevin Nealon in the studio tonight. Really a fantastic stand up comedian. He's the thinking man's.

40:52 Drew Comedian's comedian.

40:53 Adam He's a comedian's comedian. Arguably one of the best comedians' comedians.

40:57 Kevin Nealon Do you think there's other professions like that? She's a stripper's stripper, you know. He's a doctor's doctor.

41:04 Adam Yeah, I don't think they have a thinking man's either. I think she's the thinking man's stripper.

41:10 Kevin Nealon That's a nice move she made. I wonder where that came from.

41:16 Adam Yeah, and they don't have like the Michael Jordan of all wet nurses or anything like that. They probably don't have a Michael Jordan of crappy jobs either.

41:23 Kevin Nealon No, no.

41:25 Adam Although, engineer Chris over here, arguably the Michael Jordan of $10 an hour.

41:31 Drew I am literally gonna kill myself if I don't get another call. Literally, literally.

41:35 Adam Arguably or literally?

41:36 Literally.

41:37 Adam Okay, let's go. Amanda.

41:41 Adam.

41:41 Adam You're 27, what's up baby doll?

41:44 I am actually looking for Dr. Drew to demystify female ejaculation.

41:49 Drew What about it?

41:51 My girlfriend does it and she worries often that it's urine or that it's a combination of ejaculation and urine.

41:57 Drew For some women it is, but for the most part it isn't.

42:00 Would it be noticeably odorous?

42:03 Drew Yeah, again, there are acid tests. You could take a big dose of B vitamin or some asparagus today, more than the chances of feces coming out as well. No, no feces from the vagina. There is something called a rectovaginal fistula that in bad times, feces can come out of the vagina. That is rare.

42:19 Adam That's really equivalent to a fountain peeing blood, right? I mean, it's the devil's work. The devil's work is at hand there. Wait, wait, hold on a second, Amanda. What about the mixture? We never hear about the mixture.

42:33 Drew No, it's usually one or the other.

42:35 Adam Yeah, I mean, we hear, well, no, it's female orgasmic incontinence, in which case it's urine, or we hear that it's just a gland out there shooting some fluid out, but the chances that it's a mixture, and it makes sense, it could be, but...

42:47 Drew We don't hear about it. That means it's probably very unusual.

42:50 Adam So, here's the deal, Amanda. First off, nice work.

42:54 Drew That you produce. It's good, right?

42:56 Kevin Nealon That's a girlfriend.

42:56 I am quite proud.

42:58 Adam Yeah, you're doing good.

42:58 Kevin Nealon I thought it was her friend.

43:00 Drew Well, but she produces... It's her girlfriend.

43:03 Adam Kevin, let me explain something. Kevin's...

43:05 Kevin Nealon Oh, oh, oh, oh, I see. That's a gay couple.

43:08 Adam Yeah, he's wearing the pants.

43:09 Kevin Nealon I'm sorry. I thought she said her friend.

43:10 Adam With the Scrooge Moore room in the jeans. Yeah, he's a lesbian. Yeah.

43:17 Drew Yeah, but, Amanda, you're not angry.

43:18 Adam No.

43:19 Drew Well, no. Not yet.

43:22 Adam So, she produces fluid. I think you would know it if it was urine. How about that?

43:27 Drew Again, you can test for it by taking vitamins, eating asparagus, but the probability is, yes, that it's fluid glandular material from down there.

43:34 Kevin Nealon I would say.

43:34 Drew There's a lot of fluid produced, some women. Some women. Interesting thing about this is, again, some women do this, some women do not.

43:40 Adam Yeah.

43:40 Drew A small percentage will do it. Sometimes not others. It doesn't necessarily equate with the size of the orgasm, and a lot of women that do it feel ashamed of it. They're somehow embarrassed or feel something happened bad to them. No, of course. It's a good thing, right, Amanda? There you are producing it.

43:52 Kevin Nealon It's easier to tell if it's urine if they do it in the snow.

43:56 Adam Yeah. Hey, if they can do their initials, it's huge. Amanda, you give her this orgasm via oral sex?

44:08 Their penetration or click oral stimulus.

44:12 Adam What kind of penetration?

44:15 Just my hand.

44:16 Drew Digital.

44:17 Adam Digital penetration or what's the other one? All right, so no oral, right?

44:22 No.

44:23 Adam Okay, good.

44:24 Drew Why?

44:25 Adam It's kind of like when you light a cigarette off the stove, you know, you burn your eyebrows. It's not a good idea. It's not a good idea. Just get right in there. Use a lighter.

44:34 Kevin Nealon You know that medicine, what's it called? It's made with horse's urine. Oh, Premarin.

44:39 Drew Premarin.

44:40 Kevin Nealon Premarin.

44:40 Adam Premarin. It's made from pregnant mare's urine. Yeah, Premarin.

44:46 Kevin Nealon And yet, I don't know how women could take that.

44:49 Adam I don't either, but I don't know why you wouldn't name it just a Goodendall or something. You got to name it after pregnant mare's urine.

44:57 Drew Biological, yeah. A lot of biological products are produced in interesting situations, whether it's plant or animal or whatever.

45:05 Adam All right.

45:06 Kevin Nealon Plant urine.

45:07 Adam We got a question for, they have feelings though, seriously, can I ask?

45:11 Drew Seriously. Literally.

45:12 Adam Eric.

45:14 Hey, guys.

45:16 Adam You're 23. What's up?

45:17 Caller Yeah, well, I hate to interrupt you, but I've got to go to the weather in Los Angeles checking in 71 degrees.

45:21 Drew This is that guy.

45:23 Caller And Wine Garden.

45:23 Adam Oh, it is.

45:24 Caller 71 degrees.

45:25 Adam Wow. All right, buddy.

45:26 Kevin Nealon Eric's back.

45:27 Adam What's up?

45:28 Kevin Nealon Hey.

45:29 Caller I had a question for Kevin Nealon. Kevin, how are you doing?

45:32 Kevin Nealon Good, thanks.

45:34 Caller All right. I think that you are one of the funniest people on the planet, and I've been looking for a long time and haven't seen a best of SNL DVD. Do you have one?

45:43 Kevin Nealon No, I don't allow that.

45:45 Caller What's that?

45:46 Kevin Nealon I don't allow that.

45:47 Adam You don't allow that? They must have best of SNLs that have Nealon in there.

45:52 Kevin Nealon I meant some of them, yeah. What he's saying is there's not the best of Kevin Nealon.

45:56 Adam Oh, you're saying dedicated to Nealon?

45:58 Kevin Nealon The problem is I was only on the show for nine seasons. I didn't really have enough time to get enough sketches together.

46:05 Adam He was just starting to hit a stride.

46:06 Drew He still has the best sketch of my favorite all time with Harvey Keitel.

46:09 Kevin Nealon That's my favorite.

46:10 Drew In the bathroom when he's the attendant in the small little bathroom.

46:16 Adam Let me stroke Nealon here for just a second. Kevin, again, a comedian's comedian, but not a bells and whistles guy. Nothing you can really hang your hat on in terms of it's not the church lady. It's not you look marvelous. It's not the big stuff. It's not the coneheads. It's a wonderful study in less is more. I know this is going to start getting irritating, but I just mean...

46:48 Kevin Nealon Start?

46:49 Adam Kevin is one of the smarter guys out there and doesn't need to shout to let people know he's funny.

46:55 Kevin Nealon There you go. Also, I think they come out with the best of when somebody has a film out and they want to publicize it.

47:02 Adam Right.

47:02 Kevin Nealon To jump on that bandwagon.

47:04 Drew Anyway, he's saying he would like the producer to contact him tonight.

47:08 Adam Nealon going to be at the Irvine improv, arguably one of the better improv in Irvine. That's Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Kevin Nealon is in studio tonight. Kevin is at some point was the longest running cast member on Saturday Night Live until it was overtaken by, I don't know who. Tim Meadows. He, who by the way, probably doesn't have a best of Saturday Night Live box set dedicated to him either. But a funny gentleman.

48:17 Kevin Nealon Although he might. He had a film come out.

48:19 Adam He did have a film coming out.

48:20 Kevin Nealon Ladies man.

48:21 Adam I'll tell you that thing by the way was just sort of quintessential Saturday Night Live film that doesn't seem to work out. It was almost a parody of Saturday Night Live films that didn't seem to work out.

48:35 Kevin Nealon That character though kills me.

48:37 Adam I do love the character. I love the Corvassia and all the rest of it. It's just I think that movie came out and it was almost like this is not a real movie. This is just one of those. It was like when Molly Shannon had the like Catholic schoolgirl superstar cheerleader superstar thing come out. It was almost like, well first off, can we make them? Do we have to make a movie about every bit that was on SNL? I mean, it's a funny bit. They're both funny, you know, three and a half minutes. I couldn't imagine 95 minutes of them. And maybe the rest of North America couldn't either. But the point is, is Timmy Meadows, great guy and a dear, dear friend. Dear, dear friend, it's time to have him back on the show. He was on here with... Mean Girls. Yeah, Mean Girls. What's her name? Tia Fey, everybody, who probably doesn't have a box set out about her either. See, started feeling better, buddy. Gonna beat the Irvine Improv. Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And go see Kevin Nealon and be surprised by how funny he is. Impressed.

49:43 Kevin Nealon And it is stand-up comedy. It's not sketches. A lot of people think they're not sure that I do stand-up.

49:49 Adam No.

49:49 Kevin Nealon They think they're gonna see some sketches, but it is indeed, it is stand-up with a few characters from Saturday Night Live here and there sprinkled throughout for familiarity purposes.

49:58 Adam But he doesn't have to. It's not a crutch.

50:00 Kevin Nealon No, no, it's not a crutch. It's not a wheelchair. It's nothing like that.

50:02 Drew Do you know the Harvey Keitel skit I'm referring to?

50:04 Adam It's kind of a stroke cane. It's not really crutch per se, but it is one of those canes that has the four legs on it. Yeah, but it's not a walker.

50:11 Drew Do you know what skit I'm talking about?

50:12 Adam Yeah, I do. We've talked about it quite a bit. I'm a fan. You know what I'm saying?

50:18 Drew Yeah, literally.

50:19 Adam Literally a fan.

50:20 Drew Arguably.

50:21 Adam Literally.

50:22 Kevin Nealon I like to hear Tom Brokaw say it, literally.

50:25 Adam And by the way, he's becoming a parody of himself on television. He is now doing himself.

50:31 Drew Yeah.

50:32 Adam Which I'm gonna do when I get home. Ashley? Yeah. You're 19?

50:37 Caller Uh-huh.

50:38 Adam What's up, baby doll?

50:41 Caller Well, I have been dating my boyfriend for about seven months. And when we first started having sex, it would go for, you know, like an hour, everything is fine. And then recently, I can only go for like three minutes.

51:03 Drew Before, before what happens?

51:06 Caller I'll have an orgasm and then I'll just wanna stop.

51:08 Drew So in the past, you wanted to have multiple orgasms.

51:11 Caller Right, and I could have multiple orgasms.

51:13 Kevin Nealon So you're like a guy now.

51:14 Caller Like I would go in the beginning, and then I would go again, and now it's just like, it happens, and then it's just over for me. And when he goes down on me, I get no enjoyment whatsoever.

51:28 Drew Multiple.

51:29 Adam You got a sister? Three minutes worth of... Oh, okay. All right, and you used to have multiple orgasms, but you don't anymore. Okay. Is this like unsatisfying to you to just have sex for three, four minutes and have your orgasm and hit the fridge?

51:48 Caller Well, I mean, it's not really that it's unsatisfying.

51:51 Caller I just feel bad for my boyfriend.

51:53 Caller You know, because I think he can tell that after I'm done, it's just kind of like I sit there and I'm just waiting for him to go.

52:00 Drew How long does it take him?

52:03 Caller It depends. Sometimes he can go for like an hour. Sometimes it's like 30 minutes.

52:08 Drew So for at least 27 minutes, maybe up to 57 minutes, you're just kind of reading the paper, watching the counting sheet?

52:16 Caller Well, lately it's been like that, yeah.

52:19 Adam Wow. How about he pulls it together a little bit? In the orgasm department, that is. You know what I mean? I mean, can he buck up and get something to jump out of his dork in 14, 15 minutes? I know I can.

52:33 Drew I mean, he can work it up on his own and then finish shop.

52:36 Kevin Nealon And then, Adam, you hit the fridge afterwards? I hit the fridge.

52:40 Adam Yeah.

52:41 Kevin Nealon That's like a routine for you?

52:42 Adam I actually move the fridge into the bedroom now. Literally.

52:45 Kevin Nealon So you think about eating afterwards?

52:47 Adam Yeah.

52:48 Drew Well, after he's remote controlled and eating, is that usually working?

52:52 Adam Sometimes I'll watch programs about food.

52:56 Kevin Nealon Adam's got the coolest house. He's got a TV in every room.

52:59 Adam Yeah.

53:00 Kevin Nealon Perfectly located. It's in the new house?

53:02 Drew The new one.

53:03 Adam Oh, yeah.

53:04 Kevin Nealon Both houses, though.

53:05 Adam Yeah. They're my homes.

53:08 Kevin Nealon Yeah.

53:09 Drew They're your toys.

53:10 Adam Thank you. Yeah. Arguably one of the nicer houses in the San Fernando Valley. Ashley? Uh-huh. What about, okay, I mean, you go at three minutes. You want to extend it a little bit longer? You do?

53:25 Caller I can't, well, there's a big age difference between us. I'm 19 and he's 30.

53:30 Drew See, she's the night of this guy.

53:32 Adam Are you not into him? Is there something you find repugnant or grotesque that you could think about, you know, napalm, Vietnam?

53:39 Caller No, I'm totally, totally.

53:41 Caller I am, I mean, he is great.

53:43 Adam No, I know you're into him, but I'm just saying, I don't know if a woman has ever done this. I think guys have. I mean, guys think evil. You know, we picture maggots crawling on a potato bug and we can squeeze another 45 seconds out of the journey. You know, if, do they have potato bugs anymore, by the way?

54:03 Drew Out here they do.

54:03 Adam Oh, they do. Ashley, can you, what if you thought about the grossest guy you work with for 10 minutes? Could you go, you know, 13, could you make it now 13 minutes?

54:15 Well, that would probably just turn me off.

54:17 Adam I see. I see. Well, well, it's kind of, here's what it is though. It's like you have to feather the throttle a little bit. You know what I'm saying?

54:27 Drew Why do you sound like you're just sort of frustrated and not into this guy?

54:29 Adam Yeah.

54:31 Caller Well, it's just, it is kind of frustrating because when we first started having sex, it was like, I mean, amazing. I was having multiple orgasms. I've never done that before. And now it's just like for some reason, I don't know if I'm just overly excited about it or not.

54:48 Drew No, you're not.

54:49 Adam It's not like you're this into, that into the guy.

54:51 Drew But here's the deal. The newness of the situation creates the arousal. Now you're just going back in your more normal rhythm. And why do you have to be sort of greedy about it? Why can't you just have your normal experience and be done with it and just try to get him to sort of cooperate with your biology?

55:06 Adam I'm tired of women now with this, let's turn back, let's build a time machine and get it on like we did eight years ago. I don't go for, I'm tired of that crap. And guys don't do that either, by the way. Women do so much of that, you know, when we first started going out, it was all about foot rubs and flowers and all right. You were 30 pounds lighter. Come on. Things were different. Of course they were different.

55:32 Drew Well, when you start invoking the Coolidge effect, it means...

55:36 Adam Tell the Coolidge story, Drew. Tell the Coolidge story, Drew.

55:39 Drew Coolidge story is basically refers to a phenomenon. The president that exists in mammals, male mammals. Apparently there used to be federal farms maintained by the US government. When Calvin Coolidge was president, he and his wife went to every year they had to tour the farms as they went out touring. They would have two separate tours. The first lady went for the president. The first lady was going around and they got to the chicken coop. The farmer very proudly presented his prize rooster and he said, Mrs. Coolidge, I must share with you this is our prize rooster. And this rooster is able to copulate at least 100 times a day. To which point Mrs. Coolidge looked spry and said, please report that to the president. Make sure he's aware of the 100 times a day of copulation. So now, off they go. She goes on to the dairy section and the president comes around and now the farmer is a little more coy about this and says, Mr. President, the first lady asked me to point this rooster out to you and to let it be known that this is a rooster that's able to copulate 100 times a day. At which point Calvin Coolidge said, with the same kitchen chicken? No, not with the same chicken. With 100 different chickens. That's why he's able to copulate 100 times a day and that's called the Coolidge Effect where male mammals are aroused by diversity and newness.

56:55 Adam Let me tell you about the Dr. Drew effect. You tell a 14 minute story and at the end replace the word chicken with kitchen.

57:02 Drew We won?

57:03 Kevin Nealon Almost.

57:04 Drew Nearly did.

57:04 Adam You almost say kitchen when you should say chicken but that's a good story, Drew.

57:08 Drew I love that one.

57:09 Adam It's one of the rare moments I can actually sit back and enjoy the show.

57:13 Kevin Nealon What would be the Roosevelt effect?

57:15 Drew Eleanor or FDR?

57:16 Kevin Nealon Yeah, either one.

57:18 Adam The point is women get angry. My wife called me into one of the many rooms, one of the many television sets and there was that god damn Oprah and she said I want to show you something. She said look at this. She said this is two nights ago. Look at this. I said what's going on? Okay, she's doing a story about the most romantic man, the guy's a colonel in the army, he has her on this deal with the flower shop where she gets a bouquet of roses.

57:48 Drew This guy's having sex with multiple women.

57:49 Adam Every two days.

57:51 Drew These guys are suspect when they do stuff like that.

57:53 Adam He never stops loving her. He's writing poetry and it's like for the love of Christ. And I realize really envy does just, it's destroying our society. I realize. I'm staring at this jackass who's probably gay who's never stopped sending the things out. They don't live together by the way. He's got his pad. She's got her pad. You know. They're married? No, they're not married. She's the boyfriend and you know he's.

58:19 Drew He's compensating.

58:19 Adam He's going, he's by the way going, going, he's in the military so he gets shipped out for six months at a time. And by the way, that that whole thing where you become like the dad who just shows up at Christmas, brings a few presents in his night, gives a kid a little horsey ride, heads back to Florida.

58:37 Drew To get this guy. We had to go find him. I wanted to kill him.

58:40 Adam And then she had nothing but guess, nothing but kiss ass guys on there who loved their wives so much. And it was just, I was watching this thing and I realized my wife's got actually getting angry, because Oprah was parading these a-holes in front of the world, and these Benedict Arnold's, I call them, turncoats.

58:58 Drew On the mail. Yeah. I'm telling you, listen, I am totally into my wife. I love my wife. But if I started behaving like that, she should be worried.

59:04 Adam Oh, yeah.

59:05 Drew She should be very concerned. There's something, I'm up to something, something's wrong.

59:08 Adam Possible tumor.

59:09 Drew Tumor, yeah, but there's something of concern, regardless. It's a differential, but.

59:13 Adam If I say hi to my wife when I come home, she gets me a PET scan. She believes, I look down when I talk, I don't even, I walk with purpose, I look at my feet, I storm right into the Roman begin watching pornography. That's my life. All right, you ready, Drew?

59:27 Drew Yeah.

59:28 Adam You ready, Kevin?

59:28 Kevin Nealon Yeah.

59:29 Adam Can I call you Kevo?

59:30 Kevin Nealon Yeah.

59:30 Adam Okay, bye.

59:31 Drew Although, I gotta admit, there's one thing that's happened to me is I'm getting, as I get older, I keep realizing what women put up with with men, and what they want and what they don't get. You know what I mean? I'm feeling like I owe her more now.

59:43 Adam Stop it.

59:44 Drew I mean, at a certain point, you feel like you want to show them a little more from what they put up with.

59:50 Adam Well.

59:51 Drew But that's when you're older. Not when you're young. You can't do that when you're 20.

59:54 Adam No. And then listen, here's the thing. I really do believe women sit around, they watch TV, they see what people are wearing, they see what people are, how they're being treated, they see the lives they're leading, and here's what I'd like, by the way. My wife sits there and watches that Oprah and focuses on the part where the world's most romantic husbands and boyfriends. How about watch the episode before it where the battered wife is being flogged and has the eight kids and is living in poverty, not watching the TV that's buried in the wall, for Christ's sake. Start focusing on that.

1:00:27 Caller All right.

1:00:28 Adam Sorry. Shirley?

1:00:30 Caller Yes?

1:00:31 Adam You're 23? All right. You sound like an old soul, Shirley.

1:00:38 Caller Well, actually, I sound older than what I really am. What's going on? Well, my problem is that, okay, when I was younger, I met my husband when I was 14 years old.

1:00:52 Adam Uh-uh.

1:00:53 Caller And then I was really sexual. I was always wanting to have sex all the time.

1:01:00 Drew At 14? At 14, Shirley?

1:01:03 Caller Yes.

1:01:04 Drew Okay, so that means you're a victim. You're some sort of survivor. That's what that means.

1:01:11 Adam It's just amorous.

1:01:11 Drew That's what that means. You're liberated. How old was he?

1:01:14 Caller He's 25. He just turned 25.

1:01:18 Drew So he was 16, you were 14?

1:01:21 Caller Well, we're kind of, he was actually 20, or he was actually 15 when I was 14 and he turned 16 when I turned 15.

1:01:31 Drew The point is you were having sex at a very, very young age.

1:01:33 Adam Somehow, now he's 25 and she's 23, so he's gained a couple of months on you.

1:01:38 Caller I'll be 24 this week.

1:01:39 Adam Alright, I see. There's a small window.

1:01:41 Drew And the fact is that when people are survivors, they'll go through periods of very, very intense sexual activity and then have periods where they completely shut down to it.

1:01:49 Adam Listen, we don't know that she's a survivor. I only know by her voice that she's been through, been to hell and back. So what's up? Speed, abuse, alcohol, drugs? What's up?

1:02:00 Caller Well, when I was young, well, when I first met him, I ended up pregnant. And ever since I had it, because I got pregnant at 14 and I had my son at 15.

1:02:14 Adam It's all...

1:02:14 Caller And ever since... Well, ever since then, I haven't... It's like I totally lost my sexual drive all the way and he's like, his sex drive goes really crazy. And I don't even know how to...

1:02:29 Adam We understand. But surely, just satisfy us, please, and tell us all about the abuse in your childhood.

1:02:37 Caller Well, when I was a kid, I really didn't have a mom. My mom wasn't really there for me and then I had a dad that abused me and I was molested a couple of times by my... I was molested by my stepdad and I was molested by two of my uncles.

1:02:56 Drew Hold on a second. Why did you call me off when I was saying that she was an abuse survivor?

1:02:59 Adam No, what do you mean? The first thing I said is she sounds like an old soul and that's just sort of code for...

1:03:03 Drew Yes, but she responded to you by saying she just sounds a lot older than she is. She sounds like a Vietnam vet.

1:03:09 Adam Yeah. First off, chicks are 23 that seem like they sound like nurses from Korea, they just look death in the eye a thousand times. That always means abuse. Because essentially what happens is you become an adult the minute things crappy. Here's what being an adult is, kids, when life goes wrong, that's how you're an adult. People do horrible things to you, you have to pay bills, divorces, death. It's Oprah being called in and forced to watch Oprah on your own goddamn 42-inch television set, which you paid for with your own hard-earned money, and now, really, I put the set in so I could be bitten in the ass by my own TV set. Benedict Arnold, I tell you.

1:03:51 Kevin Nealon Most of the girls that call in here, though, they sound a lot older than they are. And I think it's probably that the ones that call in have no inhibitions about speaking freely. When I was 19 or 18 or 17, I would never call on a radio station, especially to talk about these kind of things.

1:04:06 Adam No. That's true. But, no, that's incorrect in the sense that, yes, most people, everyone on the show, speaks freely. There's no doubt they wouldn't call the show. She sounded burnt out. Yes, she sounded, she's an abuser by the way. Sure. She started getting abused at seven and that's when she sort of became an adult, by the way, cranked out a kid at 15.

1:04:29 Drew So her sexual acting out was part of the hypersexuality of the sexual abuse and physical abuse and abandonment. She has the trifecta, abandonment, neglect, abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse.

1:04:38 Right.

1:04:38 Drew And those kids are sexually active at a very young age and as they move towards adulthood, they'll often, particularly when you're in an intimate relationship, which it sounds like you are with your husband, shut off to sex. Sex becomes the bad part of the self and you can't share the bad part with somebody who you feel close and intimate to.

1:04:54 Yeah.

1:04:54 Adam All right. Here's what I worry about. A few things, Shirley. Any more kids?

1:04:59 Caller No, I have, well, I have two. I had a...

1:05:04 Drew Any more kids? Any more kids?

1:05:06 Adam No.

1:05:06 Drew No.

1:05:06 Adam No. Well, there's Brian.

1:05:11 Drew And Joey.

1:05:12 Adam And then the triplets.

1:05:17 Kevin Nealon But no, no kids.

1:05:18 Adam No, no, no. No more kids. By the way, does anyone do the opposite of that, like Adam? Have any kids? Yeah. As a matter of fact, no.

1:05:25 Drew No.

1:05:25 Adam No, I don't. You never hear the opposite.

1:05:29 I'll just remember.

1:05:30 Drew Will I ever answer no to everything?

1:05:33 Adam You hear no and then you hear five.

1:05:34 Caller Everything.

1:05:35 Kevin Nealon Surely. It's better than the people that answer like this. Any kids? Well, yes and no.

1:05:40 Drew I'd kind of rather be...

1:05:41 Adam Wait a minute. My parents do that. So you had a miscarriage.

1:05:47 Caller Well, actually it was a preterm birth.

1:05:49 Adam All right. Uh-oh. Is that bad?

1:05:51 Drew Is he okay?

1:05:52 Caller Oh, yeah. But I don't plan on having any more. I've got my tubes tied.

1:05:57 Adam Okay, good. Good. And by the way, you would have 35 kids by now if you didn't have those tubes tied because people sound like you just spit out kids.

1:06:07 Kevin Nealon Do you think somebody would tie their tubes just to help them remember something?

1:06:13 Adam Like you know tie string around your fingers.

1:06:15 Drew Oh, of course.

1:06:16 Adam That would be an expensive. What? Squaresville over here. Shirley, you ever do any speed?

1:06:26 Caller No, I don't. The only thing I've ever done of any kind of drug is I drink alcohol and I used to smoke weed.

1:06:34 But I've never done any kind of drugs ever.

1:06:37 Adam Did you do a little bit of drinking tonight?

1:06:40 Caller Well, I do. It's an occasional thing. I really don't drink all that much.

1:06:45 Drew A recreation. Are you drinking tonight?

1:06:46 Adam It's occasional.

1:06:49 Drew No, it's an occasional thing.

1:06:51 Adam Did you have a few drinks tonight?

1:06:53 Caller No.

1:06:53 Adam No booze?

1:06:54 Caller I've been on the road with my husband. He's a truck driver.

1:06:57 Kevin Nealon He's on tour now?

1:07:01 Adam Is he on tour? Is he out driving? Okay. All right. So no more kids and some therapy for all the abuse you've suffered. The horrible abuse you had as a young child.

1:07:15 Drew She's actually in decent shape.

1:07:17 Kevin Nealon Has she ever had therapy?

1:07:19 Adam Have you had therapy?

1:07:20 Caller Well, like a couple years ago, I had an anger management type of thing going on with me. And I ended up going to domestic violence classes. But it turned out that my anger wasn't behind the night or behind what I got in trouble for. It was from my past. So instead of doing group counseling, I did single counseling.

1:07:47 Drew Good.

1:07:47 Adam Right. Okay. Listen.

1:07:48 Caller I got a lot out of my system.

1:07:50 Adam Good. Good, baby doll. Just take care of those kids.

1:07:54 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:07:56 Adam All right. Very casual. All right. So yeah, your husband wants sex. You don't. That's because you were abused. You were abused, and this is the way it goes. It's feast or famine, and you're in the famine part.

1:08:08 Drew And the famine part is most often associated with emotional intimacy. You wall off from those aspects of yourself that you associate with the abuse.

1:08:17 Adam So here's a... I think here's about the best advice we could give. It's not your husband's fault that you were abused when you were young by your stepfather and other people.

1:08:27 Drew And he has a normal sex drive.

1:08:28 Adam And he has a normal sex drive for a 25-year-old guy. You, as a wife, need to understand that. That doesn't mean you have to bite on a wooden spoon while he penetrates you five times a night. That just means at normal intervals, a couple times a week, maybe once a week, if you can tolerate it, you have to be intimate with him. And the other thing, too, is I think you can sort of draw yourself into that. I mean, it's sort of like exercise. You don't... I mean, okay, here's what I want to say. We act like if a woman is... If one fiber for being is not interested in having sex that night, then by all means she shouldn't, she should never have sex. No one should ever tell her she can have... No, you get married, you have a husband, he's 25, he's horny, he's been out on the road for a week driving an 18-wheeler. He comes in the room, he's got a boner, he wants some sex. Feel free to give him a handy or a BJ. Let's face it, that's part of the relationship. And by the way, if not that, what's in it for us? Marriage-wise. Just to yell that in front of the TV about Oprah, that's it. We build a house so you can yell at us in front of the TV.

1:09:34 Drew And the same thing is true if the roles are reversed. I mean, the guy's just going in just, you know.

1:09:40 Adam Now, here's the thing. Here's what happened. We got spoon-fed this crappy thing about 10 or 15 years ago where if a woman did not want to have sex 100%, not 99%, 100%, it was rape. It was essentially, you could rape your wife if she wasn't in the mood that night and you had intercourse with her.

1:09:57 Drew Which you can do, but that's not what we're talking about here.

1:09:59 Adam No, but I'm close.

1:10:00 Kevin Nealon Can you get arrested for that?

1:10:01 Drew Well, rape is a violent crime.

1:10:03 Adam Oh, it is. Drew brought this up. It's a very important thing.

1:10:07 Drew Kevin, listen carefully.

1:10:09 Adam Okay. Kevin? Rape is a violent crime. It's not a sexual crime, you understand? It is a crime of violence.

1:10:19 Kevin Nealon And power.

1:10:20 Adam And power, but mainly violence where you come at the end.

1:10:24 Kevin Nealon So let me understand this then. You're saying it's a crime of violence.

1:10:28 Adam It's a violent crime. It's not a sexual crime. It is a crime of violence.

1:10:33 Drew We ejaculate.

1:10:34 Adam You come.

1:10:34 Kevin Nealon You come.

1:10:35 Adam You come. It's no different. Now let me explain something.

1:10:38 Kevin Nealon Can you get violent somewhere else and have that same...

1:10:41 Drew Well, he's gonna even sample.

1:10:43 Adam It is no different than if I go in and violently assault a liquor store owner and rape him and come and... No, no.

1:10:53 Drew Pistol whip him.

1:10:54 Adam Pistol whip him.

1:10:55 Drew And then ejaculate.

1:10:56 Adam And ejaculate. It is no different than if there's an elderly man walking down the street and I stab him and take his wallet and come. It's a violent, violent...

1:11:09 Kevin Nealon Would that cause you to ejaculate?

1:11:12 Adam It would, yeah. But I'm saying it's not a sexual crime. It's a violent crime where you come.

1:11:19 Kevin Nealon So you really shouldn't let it matter to you?

1:11:21 Adam No, I'm just saying a lot of people confuse it with a crime of a sexual crime.

1:11:26 Kevin Nealon They're not really attracted to you then.

1:11:29 Adam This is violent. It's like sports, you know, boxing, football. They're violent sports. If you came, if a guy punched you in the head and you ejaculated, that's what it would be like. So it's not a sexual... I'm just saying do not confuse it for a sexual crime. Okay, so about the time that crap was being laid out in a society, somebody decided that you didn't have sex unless you were damn good and ready. And I'm saying I don't think someone like Shirley's ever going to have sex because of what she's been through.

1:12:02 Drew Yes, she's not going to feel great about it.

1:12:03 Adam And her husband has to be a good guy about it.

1:12:05 Drew He's hanging out.

1:12:06 Adam But there's the other part too where you don't want to do something and then you start doing it and halfway into the 20 minutes you've been running on the treadmill about minute number 10, you see a girl, I'm glad I did it. That's not so bad. You can do that with sex. We've done it. Let's face it. There's been nights when we've not exactly. Drew is a man of extreme passion. Never had that night. But I've had those nights where, you know, I'm just... That must be tough. You know, this one's for the team. I'm going to lean into one.

1:12:34 Kevin Nealon Now, would that be a crime of violence that you're talking about now?

1:12:38 Adam It was. It was a violent violence. But I work, yes. On the hair. But it was a violent, violent, violent act. All right. We're going to take a break. The great Kevin Nealon over here. Arguably the comedian's comedian and the thinking man's arguably comedian. Going to be at the Irvine Improv, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:13:01 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:13:13 Adam Thank you. So, he's calling the emergency hospital right now. Kevin Nealon, dear, dear friend, Kevin Nealon here. And Kevin, arguably, one of the funnest and funniest comics in the Irvine improv. It's this Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, Drew's back. All right? Everything cool? Yes? Good? Did they need to page you? Uh-oh. Uh-oh. What's that like? Because all the times they don't. They don't.

1:13:39 Kevin Nealon Always wearing a pager.

1:13:41 Drew Good times.

1:13:41 Adam Really? What'd you do? You asked for lactate ringers and D5W stat?

1:13:47 Drew One or the other.

1:13:48 Adam Oh, it's one or the other? It's either lactate ringers or D5W?

1:13:51 Drew Actually, I tend to use D5 half.

1:13:53 Adam D5 half? When I say, I go D5W. That's me. But lactate ringers?

1:13:58 Drew It's too hypotonic.

1:13:59 Adam Too hypotonic? But would you use lactate ringers with D5W or be one or the other?

1:14:03 Drew Lactate ringers. The surgeons use a lot of lactate ringers.

1:14:05 Kevin Nealon What's a lactate ringer?

1:14:07 Drew Something with milk?

1:14:09 Adam Yeah. What is a lactate ringer?

1:14:10 Drew It's a replacement fluid, IV fluid.

1:14:13 Adam Oh, really? Because it seems like something a Mexican whore might give you. An extra 10 bucks to go with a lactate ringer. You want the lactate ringer? A ringer is a lactate. It's going to cost you.

1:14:23 Kevin Nealon You're thinking of a lactate ringer.

1:14:26 Adam My friend visited a Tijuana whore once when we were in Tijuana. It was one of these things where it was like 25 bucks for either a BJ or intercourse. Then when he went upstairs, found out it was another 25 bucks for a room. This was many years ago. He was planning on spending 25 bucks. Then it was another 25 for the room. Then he changed his mind midstream and went from the BJ to the intercourse, as many guys will do. I think they're counting on that. I actually think secretly the prostitute hopes you start with the BJ because you're always going to switch gears. You see what I'm saying?

1:15:07 Drew It's a marketing tool.

1:15:07 Adam It's a marketing tool, in which case they charge you the extra 25.

1:15:12 Drew Nice.

1:15:13 Adam Yeah. Took a little while. It was a scene from Porky's. We were then caught by the bouncer pulling a bottle of tequila out from under the table and freshening up our expensive Pepsi's and were chased out of the joint and down the street and a buddy was in there on top of a teijuana whore.

1:15:31 Drew Paul?

1:15:33 Yeah.

1:15:33 Adam You're 22?

1:15:34 Caller Yeah, I'm 22.

1:15:38 Adam What's up?

1:15:40 Caller Well, I have what is arguably the most difficult situation I've ever had to face. I was dating a girl for two weeks. We broke up and she calls me a couple weeks later and tells me she's pregnant.

1:15:57 Adam Two weeks you'd been dating her?

1:15:59 Caller What's that?

1:16:00 Adam Two weeks only.

1:16:02 Caller Right. Two weeks. Two weeks. She was kind of nutty, so I kind of had to get out, but anyway, she's pregnant now, fairly certain it's mine, probably about 95% sure. And what she's telling me is that she doesn't want to give the child up for adoption. I do, but obviously it's not my choice.

1:16:31 Drew I was drifting off a little bit, worrying about this problem I've got at the hospital.

1:16:34 Adam Blackgate Ringers or the D5 Debbie?

1:16:36 Drew The D5 half. How long have they been together, these two?

1:16:39 Adam Two weeks. They were together for two weeks. He met her at a bar. He really forgot to pull out. She called a few weeks later and said she's pregnant. Now they broke up.

1:16:47 Drew So there's a two week sort of hook up basically.

1:16:49 Adam There was nothing. It was a tryst.

1:16:51 Kevin Nealon She's kind of a nutty girl.

1:16:52 Adam She's nutty.

1:16:53 Drew Do you want to get more involved with her?

1:16:54 Adam No, no. She's nuts. She wants to keep the kid.

1:16:59 Drew So what's the question?

1:17:01 Caller Well, we broke up and she kind of threatened suicide and kind of crazy and thought she was in love with me or whatever.

1:17:08 Drew Maybe she's not pregnant.

1:17:11 Caller What's that?

1:17:11 Adam Could she be using this as a ploy?

1:17:14 Caller I thought she was at first, but based on…

1:17:22 Adam Here's the deal. You telling her to get an abortion or to give the kid up for adoption, she's probably not going to work if she's nutty. You're going to have to say to her, and this is about the only way you can sort of call her bluff, which is, look, if you insist on bringing the child to term and being the child's mother, fine, understand when the child is born, I'm going to have to get a paternity test before I then go ahead and start whatever. Now we'll get the paternity test, we'll establish that I am or am not the father, and if we establish I am, then of course I will be responsible financially, and we'll work that out. We'll not be together as a couple.

1:18:02 Drew Well, we will not have a relationship, yeah, you've got to make that clear.

1:18:05 Adam It's a bad situation, yeah.

1:18:09 Caller Yeah, it's not the approach she came at me with, she came at me with this is the situation, do you want to have any part in this, and in Texas we, you know, I have the right, if I want to, to sign off parental rights and not have any responsibility or any...

1:18:26 Adam Really?...

1:18:27 Caller towards the child.

1:18:28 Adam Financially?

1:18:29 Drew No, I don't think that's true.

1:18:30 Caller Financially, I wouldn't have any responsibility.

1:18:32 Drew What?

1:18:35 Adam Really? Well, if the mother, if you sign, it doesn't sound right.

1:18:41 Caller No, it's in the state of Texas.

1:18:43 Kevin Nealon You know those Texans.

1:18:44 Adam Yeah. So, do you want to do that?

1:18:49 Caller Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out, you know, I'm trying to look at it from both sides.

1:18:54 Adam Well, okay.

1:18:55 Caller Obviously, I want to give up the child for adoption, but I don't have that choice.

1:18:58 Adam Right. All right, well, I would say you should tell her, I want to give the child up for adoption, and if she won't agree to that, then I guess you can sign the paperwork. On the other hand, I would still insist on a paternity test after the kid comes out. And then thirdly or fourthly, if it is in fact your child, I imagine you're going to have some contact with it. On the other hand, is some contact worse than none? I sort of think limited is sort of worse.

1:19:28 Drew In some ways it is. But at least he could send some money to the kid, support the child.

1:19:32 Adam Yeah. I mean, shouldn't they just make up a story about how he was killed in a duel?

1:19:36 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:19:37 Adam Very brave.

1:19:37 Drew Of course.

1:19:38 Adam Some guy called me a strumpet. Your father insisted on dueling him. And with sabers. Killed the man and was killed off the ricochet after the bull passed through the guy's heart. So it's showing he was a marksman too.

1:19:52 Drew Right, right.

1:19:53 Adam All right. Nicole. You're 26.

1:19:59 Caller Yeah.

1:20:00 Adam You're remodeling your basement.

1:20:02 Caller Yes.

1:20:03 Adam You want to talk insulation.

1:20:06 Caller Yeah, exactly.

1:20:07 Adam All right. What's the question?

1:20:09 Caller Hey, I'm I'm in Utah, so it gets cold here. But I just want to know like the thickness. But you know what I mean?

1:20:20 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're, you're, you're, you're.

1:20:23 Caller What?

1:20:23 Adam Hold on, your basement is just a poured concrete walls.

1:20:28 Caller Yeah, and the people that lived here before tried to put up, I guess, some paneling, whatever.

1:20:35 Adam Yeah, they put, they put, they put sleepers on the wall and then, and then put insulation between the sleepers and then put, put paneling or drywall up. Oh, what did they try to do then?

1:20:47 Caller They tried to put up spacers and they're all. Like, some of them are a foot apart, some are two feet apart.

1:20:56 Kevin Nealon Does this become a home improvement show?

1:20:58 Adam It is now.

1:20:59 Drew Partly.

1:20:59 Adam Okay. So they did a horrible job. Yes.

1:21:04 Drew Take it down.

1:21:05 Adam Okay. Here's what you got to do. Pull the crap they put off. Did they just use two by fours on there?

1:21:13 Caller No. What they put was, it's probably like two inches across and half an inch thick.

1:21:20 Adam This is a forearm. Uh-huh.

1:21:24 Caller They're not either.

1:21:25 Adam Yeah. She's a victim. Listen, one way or another, sweetie. You were raped by a contractor. Schneider raped her. Okay. Now listen, Nicole, are you trying? Are you drunk, by the way, or high or something?

1:21:40 Caller Well, I've been drinking.

1:21:41 Adam Okay. So, you're not going to, it's going to be like a dream. I had a dream that Adam Carolla gave us some bad insulation advice. Okay. Listen to me.

1:21:48 Kevin Nealon I don't understand. Is this really like an insulation question?

1:21:51 Adam It is. All right. I'm going to answer the question. First off, you need to treat the concrete with something. You get some of that dry lock masonry paint or something and actually paint it, seal the concrete. The concrete is very porous, by the way. It does not hold water. It leaks.

1:22:05 Drew It's Utah.

1:22:08 Adam Number two, you need to put on something that you can put the drywall or paneling onto. That stuff needs to be womanized or treated or pressure treated. It can't just be raw wood. Everything there is going to get wet. It's all going to get mildew. It's all going to get screwed up. Seal the wall. Seal this basement wall. Then you can go ahead and put two by fours or two by six or whatever, but it's that green pressure treated stuff. It's good for termites and water and stuff like that.

1:22:35 Kevin Nealon It doesn't cause cancer though.

1:22:37 Adam It does if you violate yourself with it, which I made a wooden leg out of it and then put it in me. Keister. Yeah. I do have rectal cancer, yes. But it's good in the wall. It's good. It's great in the wall. It's great for bottom place. The point is, is you do that. Now, the whole thing about insulation, insulation is measured in R value, yes, R-13 for the 2x4s, R-19 for the 2x6s, the bigger the span, the more insulation you can put in there and thus the greater R value. Now you're burning space. Now you're making your basement that much smaller. Oh. You know what I'm saying? I, aha, and you got a mildew situation there. Here's what I would do. You ready? I would use the treated 2x4 sleepers on there, pop them on the wall. After I seal the wall, then I would take rigid insulation. It's flat. It's like a styrofoam. It's only about an inch and a half. Cut that, put it in the bay. That's not going to be as permeable with the water and stuff. Then put the drywall over that. You get a little R value. You get your sleepers. You don't have to worry about the rot.

1:23:46 Kevin Nealon Did you say 2x6?

1:23:48 Adam I'd go 2x4.

1:23:49 Kevin Nealon 2x4.

1:23:49 Adam 2x4 flat.

1:23:50 Kevin Nealon Flat. That's what I was going to say. So you're not burning space.

1:23:53 Adam And then put the rigid, it's basically like foam. It's hard foam.

1:23:57 Kevin Nealon What about that stuff they spray in the wall? The foam that they spray in there.

1:24:00 Drew It's different stuff.

1:24:01 Adam That's good stuff. There's the expanding stuff, the two-part stuff, and then there's the cellulose stuff, which is just sort of newspaper with borax in it.

1:24:10 Kevin Nealon Which is also what women have sometimes on the back of their legs.

1:24:12 Adam Yeah.

1:24:14 Drew You sit with borax.

1:24:15 Adam Hewell Houser, everybody. Yeah.

1:24:16 Drew Take a break.

1:24:17 Adam Christine, oh, we gotta take a break. Christine? You got your tongue pierced? Yeah. But you smoke meth?

1:24:26 Caller No, I did, but right now I'm in an outpatient rehab program.

1:24:30 Adam But what's this have to do with construction? I don't. Hold on a second. There you go, everybody. Am I boring, Kevin?

1:24:39 Drew You're okay.

1:24:40 Kevin Nealon I just, oh, the show just took a while to turn.

1:24:42 Adam Well, we can talk our value.

1:24:44 Kevin Nealon Do people know that they can call in and talk construction, too?

1:24:47 Drew Subject.

1:24:47 Adam They rarely do. But once in a while, we get the phone call.

1:24:50 Kevin Nealon I think you were more excited about that than the other conversations.

1:24:54 Adam Oh, yes.

1:24:54 Kevin Nealon I've seen you come alive when they started talking about insulation.

1:24:56 Drew Our values, my God.

1:24:57 Kevin Nealon Our values, wow. Yeah.

1:24:59 Adam All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. Kevin Nealon, arguably.

1:25:04 Kevin Nealon No, no. It's not arguably anymore.

1:25:06 Adam The best.

1:25:06 Drew Literally.

1:25:07 Adam Literally. Literally, the best stand-up comedian that's ever worked, that's ever climbed onto a stage, and will ever climb on stage. Long after he's gone, there will be others trying to live up to him, but never, never even come and close to him. He's a climber. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:25:29 Caller Love 100, Love 191.

1:25:31 Caller Can you get addicted to after?

1:25:33 Caller It hurts when I pee. That's pretty accurate.

1:26:02 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Yeah, Kevin Nealon, the comedian's man's comedian. Yeah, he's the comedian's thinker, what he is. Funny, funny stuff, I'll tell you. Funny.

1:26:19 Kevin Nealon And we've digressed a lot.

1:26:20 Adam He really is funny. And he's going to be there if I improv, that is Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. And go out there and I'll tell you what, if you don't think he's funny, I'm going to give you your money back. Yes, Drew?

1:26:33 Drew You will.

1:26:34 Adam How about that? Don't make me do it.

1:26:36 Drew He's wild, Kevin. He is wild.

1:26:38 Adam I will drop Trow. I will drop Trow. I'm this close to dropping. You want me to drop Trow?

1:26:42 Drew He's crazy.

1:26:42 Adam Tell him I'll drop Trow.

1:26:44 Drew He will do it.

1:26:45 Kevin Nealon I believe it.

1:26:45 Adam I believe it. Kevin, you ready to rock here, buddy? Yeah, man.

1:26:48 Kevin Nealon Let's rock, man. I'm ready.

1:26:51 Adam Christine? So you pierced your tongue.

1:26:57 Caller Yeah.

1:26:58 Caller I got it pierced like four months ago.

1:26:59 Adam You smoke a little meth, but you quit.

1:27:03 Caller Yeah. I'm in a rehab program and my crutch is smoking cigarettes.

1:27:13 Kevin Nealon Yeah.

1:27:13 Caller My parents want me to stop doing everything.

1:27:15 Drew What's your question?

1:27:17 Kevin Nealon How to kill her parents.

1:27:19 Caller My parents' problem mainly is that I could get tongue cancer from smoking cigarettes.

1:27:25 Drew No more than anybody else. Your parents need to go to Al-Anon. Your parents need to go to Al-Anon.

1:27:29 Kevin Nealon Really? Smoking will not give you tongue cancer?

1:27:32 Drew No. What I said was no more so than somebody without a tongue piercing.

1:27:40 Kevin Nealon But smoking will give you.

1:27:41 Drew Absolutely it can. It's pretty much only tobacco users that get cancer.

1:27:45 Kevin Nealon Also colon cancer, but that's only if you inhale really deep.

1:27:49 Drew Or as Adam has tried many times.

1:27:52 Adam Rectally?

1:27:53 Drew Yeah.

1:27:53 Adam Yeah. Well, you know.

1:27:56 Drew That's just true.

1:27:58 Adam It's more of a gag, to get the life and the mood.

1:28:01 Drew That's a great thing.

1:28:04 Adam Some people draw a hot bath, I smoke rectally.

1:28:07 Kevin Nealon I chew rectally. I chew tobacco rectally.

1:28:10 Adam He dips.

1:28:10 Drew He dips and when he goes to the spittoon, it's just hysterical.

1:28:13 Adam Oh, it's a great sound. It coming out, I mean, mixed with the fart is awesome.

1:28:17 Kevin Nealon Can you hit the spittoon?

1:28:20 Adam All right. Hey, Christine. Look, here's the deal. Your parents sound concerned.

1:28:27 Drew They need to go to Al-Anon.

1:28:28 Adam I wouldn't be angry at them, but they need to go to Al-Anon. Yes. Yes. You smoking cigarettes.

1:28:33 Caller We were talking about it in the program today, and we've been trying to work it out that I could smoke some cigarettes, but they just, you know, like I can't quit everything at once.

1:28:42 Drew Well, look, actually, the rule of thumb is that you should try to quit everything you want, but if you can't, that's really understandable that cigarettes are not what are destroying your life right now.

1:28:50 Adam Well, but secondhand smoke is a first rate killer. How many Americans died last year of secondhand smoke, Drew? Four. Four. Four, I rarely, I read, I saw a billboard that the Rob Reiner Company put up, it was like 55,000.

1:29:02 Kevin Nealon Really?

1:29:02 Adam Four.

1:29:03 Kevin Nealon Nobody talks about being killed by secondhand cars, though.

1:29:06 Adam Yeah.

1:29:06 Kevin Nealon Which is probably a higher rate.

1:29:07 Adam Yeah, absolutely. Careening off of lampposts and mailboxes.

1:29:11 Kevin Nealon Yeah, buying used cars that aren't safe.

1:29:14 Adam Oh, yeah. No, no, no. No.

1:29:15 Kevin Nealon But that's another show.

1:29:16 Adam Yeah. No, people with smoke are evil. So Christine, and Christine sounds angry at her parents, and they need to go out and on, and look, oh my God, snot-nosed 17-year-old girls, I think they know everything, and they got the tongue piercing, and I bet her parents are okay, too, by the way. Christine? Uh-huh. What are your parents, attorneys?

1:29:36 Caller No, my parents are entrepreneurs, though. My mom has a promotional company.

1:29:42 Adam All right. They make money, right?

1:29:44 Caller Not really.

1:29:45 Adam They don't?

1:29:46 Caller Not too much, no.

1:29:48 Adam No. I mean, they claim that. Do they live in a decent house and drive a decent car?

1:29:52 Pretty decent.

1:29:53 Adam All right. Are you?

1:29:55 Right now, we're in debt and everything.

1:29:56 Adam Are you angry at your parents?

1:29:59 Caller I used to be. Right now, I'm just kind of, like, I guess, mutual with them.

1:30:04 Caller OK.

1:30:05 Adam Well, listen, try not to be bitter.

1:30:08 Caller Yeah.

1:30:08 Drew I'm just focusing on it. Just focus on your recovery.

1:30:10 Adam Focus on sobriety.

1:30:12 Caller Oh, and I'm 16 now, I'm 17 tomorrow.

1:30:15 Drew OK.

1:30:16 Adam Happy birthday. Well, that's God willing, by the way. It's one day at a time. One day at a time. OK. Let's, you know, as a kid, I always walked around and I saw those bumper stickers everywhere, you know, the one day at a time. And what's some of the other slogans of the program?

1:30:35 Drew One day at a time is the big one.

1:30:36 Adam Yeah, but there was, thanks, when I mentioned that one, there was a couple, there was, you know, a sober and sexy one. Easy does it. Easy does it. Thank you. I would see the rainbow tape, easy does it on almost every car in my neighborhood, which is probably not a good sign, and a lot of smashed up front ends. And I would see the easy does it, and I never knew what it was, you know, it was just like, ah, I guess the easy does, you know, it makes sense, it's like here comes the judge or something like that, like where's the beef? Easy does it. I never knew it was a sober guy thing.

1:31:09 Kevin Nealon I didn't either.

1:31:10 Adam Is this new to you now?

1:31:13 Kevin Nealon Yeah, I never knew that.

1:31:14 Adam Yeah, easy does it, and what was the first one I said?

1:31:18 Drew R equals radiant.

1:31:19 Adam Oh, R equals radiant, by the way.

1:31:21 Drew R value is a laboratory measurement of conductive heat transfer.

1:31:24 Adam Yeah, that's a wordy bumper sticker, but I would see it every once in a while. Nerds, guys working at JPL down the street. Yeah, didn't I say R stood for radiant?

1:31:35 Drew Yeah, you did.

1:31:36 Adam Thank you.

1:31:36 Drew Genius.

1:31:37 Adam Thank you. All right, Drew, by the way, both getting paid the same.

1:31:41 Kevin Nealon Really?

1:31:41 Adam Drew returns calls to the hospital with the lactate ringers, he's on the phone with this old lady, he's probably shopping eBay now on the anchor of the show and nope, get paid the same, split it right down the middle. And by the way, I don't look at it as us getting paid the same, I look at it as a lump of money for the show and I choose to split it with you, Drew.

1:32:01 Kevin Nealon Thank you. I present it in a higher tax bracket.

1:32:04 Adam Yeah, well he is because I'm going 50-50 with him. If Rachman was still here, believe me, he wouldn't be in that bracket. Oh yeah, all right, I said it.

1:32:11 Kevin Nealon There you go.

1:32:13 Adam Matt? You're 24? All right, hold on. Let's talk to, pay the same. Jeremy?

1:32:21 Caller Yeah.

1:32:22 Adam You're 20?

1:32:23 Caller Yeah, I'm 20. How you guys doing?

1:32:24 Adam We're doing good. You get nervous and your butt sweats.

1:32:28 Caller Yeah, it's kind of embarrassing.

1:32:30 Adam And that's where it sweats?

1:32:32 Caller Yeah, it's just only there, nowhere else. I can't figure it out.

1:32:35 Adam Right.

1:32:36 Caller When I'm in the office all day sitting out, I get up in the frigging ring on my board.

1:32:39 Adam That's right. And you're calling from Yuma, Arizona.

1:32:42 Caller Yeah.

1:32:42 Drew Where it's nice and cool.

1:32:44 Adam Yeah. Yeah. All right. That's where you sweat. Yeah. Not a whole lot, although I am a bit of an expert at this. Really? Here's basically what I know about sweating. People sweat in different places. I mean, there's the common ones, you know, under the arms, sometimes small in the back and sometimes like that. Sometimes people just sweat from the forehead. Sometimes they sweat from their ass. Usually people put out about the same amount of sweat. It's just people sweat in different places. And some people do sweat profusely. Guys sweat more than women and so on and so forth.

1:33:18 Drew But mostly it's when it goes to like the hands or the head or the ass that it becomes a problem.

1:33:21 Adam Yeah. By the way, guys who sweat on their ass will have dry armpits and you can feel sorry for all the guys who have gone out on dates with the big flop sweat rings underneath the guys who are pitting out with the khaki shirt on and you got the ass that looks like the upside down heart. Okay. The point is not a whole lot you can do about it. Don't worry about it. And start wearing jeans.

1:33:43 Kevin Nealon Can I interject something here?

1:33:45 Adam Stay away from the dockers. No, we're running late. We got to take a break.

1:33:47 Drew All right.

1:33:48 Adam Kevin Nealon, arguably one of the best interjectors. We'll be right back.

1:33:53 Kevin Nealon How do we, how do you know?

1:33:54 Drew Here's the deal.

1:33:55 Kevin Nealon Looking to hook up. Call the dateline.

1:34:06 Adam Hey everybody. That's the show. I want to thank Kevin Nealon for coming in tonight.

1:34:11 Kevin Nealon I had a great time. It was really, really fun.

1:34:14 Adam You were a delight, Kevin, as usual.

1:34:15 Drew As always.

1:34:16 Adam He's going to be at the Irvine Improv Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday this weekend. Again, I'm going to give your money back if you don't bust a gut laugh at this guy. Funny, funny stuff.

1:34:26 Drew Literally.

1:34:27 Adam Literally. Literally. All right. James lights out Tony, one of the greatest boxers of all time, in here tomorrow night. Something like 67 and 3. And I'm going to spar with him.

1:34:36 Drew I was going to say, tomorrow before you get here?

1:34:39 Adam So we'll have something to talk about. And he's a maniac.

1:34:41 Drew Bring some video.

1:34:41 Adam He's a maniac. So there could be trouble. All right. Until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, September 15, 2004