Episode 1000646765861

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised.

1:10 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:20 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. And tonight I'm delighted to have on the show James Lights Out Tony.

1:33 James Toney Thank you. Thank you for having me.

1:34 Adam James is 67 and 4. He's a professional fighter. And put that in some perspective, most of these guys, you know, names you know, guys you've seen around, your De La Hoya's, your Tyson's, these guys, Bernard Hopkins, these guys are in the high 30s, sometimes the low 40s, they're 42 and something, they're 38 and something. This is 67 and 4. I mean, it's double pretty much. Yeah. And good to see you by the way, James.

2:03 James Toney Thank you very much.

2:03 Drew I've never seen Adam quiver like this.

2:06 Adam I chickened out. Okay, first we got to set something straight. So I thought I said, oh, I could spar with James. You did say that. It's a dream, you know what I mean? I mean, you know, actually there are many dreams you have as a young man. But this is a sports related one. But the thing about James is I've been a huge, huge fan of his for many years. And I've seen him fight in person at the Olympic Auditorium about 10 years ago. James, by the way, campaigning at heavyweight now. And as I said before, only a black man can do this, Drew. Look good at 162 and then look good at 130, at 232. White guy, if you go from 160 to 230, you got stretch marks, you got breasts, you're a mess.

2:57 Drew Tubbo.

2:57 Adam Yeah, you're pink, you're producing estrogen.

3:01 Drew Your penis just going inside us.

3:03 Adam Your penis actually goes inside of you. White guy might be able to move a weight division or two, possibly. A guy could go from maybe 140 to 148, maybe 152, but you can't fight most of your career at middle weight, super middle weight, and then fight at heavy weight.

3:20 Drew You got to have the James.

3:21 Adam And I tell you, I saw James today, and this is part of what scared me. I saw James today. Now, James not a tall man. James 5'11, 6.

3:31 James Toney No, only 5'9, to tell you the truth.

3:34 Adam No, no. Really?

3:35 James Toney Yeah. 5'9, but I packed a big wallet. Yes, I did.

3:40 Adam All right. I'm not going to argue with him. The point is, you know, so here's a guy. All right, he's 5'9, 5'9, he, you know, fights his whole career at 160 and change. How the hell is he going to weigh 230 and look like, you know, like he's not just a tabagoo? Fighting without a shirt, so I'm sparring today. Solid Rock. Rock solid. Scaring. Talking to the guy. A lot of talking.

4:05 James Toney Got to get to his head, you know, letting him know what time it is. You know, just got to let him know that I'm the new man on the block and I'm here to stay. I'm not going anywhere until I'm ready to leave.

4:13 Drew Well, Adam was going to spar with you today.

4:15 James Toney I was looking forward to boxing with Adam. You know, my man Nick was saying, oh, we got Adam coming down to AC. Corolla. We sat down at the steak restaurant a couple months ago.

4:23 Adam Yeah.

4:23 James Toney I was like, oh yeah, bring him down. I owe him one.

4:25 Adam Yeah.

4:27 James Toney You know, they said he came in. He left quickly.

4:29 Adam Let me tell you what, remember yesterday, Drew, I said I thought I got AIDS or something.

4:35 James Toney Oh, Lord.

4:35 Adam Remember I said I was on my period or I had AIDS.

4:39 Drew He said he has periods, what he said.

4:41 James Toney Oh, good to hear.

4:41 Adam It could be Hep C.

4:44 It could be AIDS.

4:45 Drew I feel like I have my period.

4:47 Adam I just said. I feel like somebody hollowed me out, took an ice cream scooper and hollowed him out and filled me back in with sand and urine. Oh, that's what I feel like. My back hurts. It's like I'm having my period or something. Anyway, the point is, the point is, is I felt like crap. But I said, I said, no, this is this is a once in a lifetime chance. So I did that thing that I always do where I went down and I got a smoothie. I said, this is going to fix it. Oh, the drinking, the smoking, the eating, the eating like crap. Don't worry about any of that. You get yourself a nice carrot smoothie. Ten minutes before you get in the ring with James Toney. Everything's going to be fine. I drank my smoothie. I showed up, James is in the ring, and he's beating the crap out of scary guys. He's doing that thing where he's got his sparring partners, but they're rotating. So it's like, you know those boxing games where they have the Samoan thug and the black thug and the Mexican thug, all the scariest guys in the prison kind of thing, and you pick the fighter you want? These guys are rotating in and out of the ring.

5:48 Drew And he's killing them.

5:49 Adam And James is just smacking them around. Basically.

5:53 James Toney Just like we did the Lakers.

5:54 Adam He fought everyone on D block. And so I was sitting there thinking about having AIDS or being on my period or whatever I got. I was just watching James and I thought, and last time I saw James too, by the way, was at a steakhouse. I don't want to speak out of turn, but James had probably had a couple of cocktails.

6:12 James Toney Oh yeah.

6:12 Adam I may have had a cocktail myself. No.

6:15 James Toney Had a little Nicky. Nicky was with, you know, these people, and I was with little Nicky in there.

6:21 Adam They had their own room though. They were in their own room.

6:23 Drew Of course.

6:23 Adam They had that thing where you had to slide the doors into the pockets and then he would entertain you, but you had to check with someone before you could go in.

6:30 Drew Lose it, lose it, steps forward.

6:32 Adam Yeah, yeah. So anyway, the point is James has shed the pounds and just looked chiseled. That is scary, Drew. Scary, I tell you. Yeah, ready to go. And anyway, so I thought, discretion is a better part of Valor. So I thought, I'll just pack my crap, I'll go back to Kimmel's and write jokes. Who are you kidding? But don't, but I'd like to do it. I like to do it sometime. I'll let you get all the rage out on Rydell Booker, by the way, who is fighting a week from today. That is Thursday, and it's gonna be, it's gonna be on the Best Damn Sports Show. It's gonna be put, it's gonna be shown live on the program. And I don't think they've done that before, by the way.

7:11 James Toney This is the first time for Network TV, live championship boxing. The best heavyweight in the world fighting on TV on the Best Damn Sports Show. It's gonna be a blast. It's gonna be a short night's work, too.

7:25 Adam The heavyweight division is wide open, by the way.

7:29 James Toney No, not wide open. It belongs to me.

7:31 Adam Oh, belongs, yeah, that's what I meant.

7:33 Drew It's wide open for him to take.

7:35 Adam It's yours for the taking. Yeah, and I mean, I think a few years ago, James Toney, who everyone regards as a legendary fighter, that's Jimmy Kimmel, who was inducted to the Farting Hall of Fame. Did you see him in sports there? Yes, Dad cried because I think he farted before he went up there. But the point is, James Toney, legendary fighter. I don't know if even huge fans of James Toney a few years ago would have thought of him as a contender at the heavyweight division, but he's proved after beating Vandor Holyfield, he's proved himself a contender at that weight division, and it's in a little bit of chaos up there. I mean, it's up for grabs. After you beat Rydle Booker, who are you looking for? A Klitschko?

8:24 James Toney Well, that's the main focus right now, is Klitschko. First and foremost is Rydle Booker. He's an under-fitted kid, and I'm not taking him lightly. Everybody thinks he's going to be easy, but he's coming to fight.

8:36 Adam 22-0.

8:37 James Toney He's 22-0, 12 knockout, but see, everybody thinks he's going to be easy, push over, but I'm not trading for it like it is.

8:43 Adam Do you ever, I mean...

8:45 James Toney Back in the past, I have.

8:46 Adam You have?

8:47 James Toney But now, no, I can't afford to do that, because big things at stake. You know, I get past this fight, after I get past this fight, which I will, then we got Klusko, and that will be crowned the double heavyweight champion of the world.

9:00 Adam And there have been, I mean, you have great ability. The thing about James is James is a great natural fighter. He doesn't burn a lot of calories waving his arms around. He doesn't...

9:11 James Toney No, I'm a real fighter. I'm old school.

9:14 Adam Yeah, yeah, slick. And you know, these guys, he fights a lot of these guys. I saw his fight with Vasily Girov, who's a...

9:22 James Toney We had fun that night.

9:24 Adam That was fun.

9:25 James Toney I wish you could have been there with me.

9:26 Adam This guy basically is a European guy, white guy. Holds the hands up high, throws lots of punches and burns tons of calories. Therefore, he must have twice as much fuel in his tank. You understand? It's like his stroke is so smooth, he barely makes a wake in the water. And James can go in and probably take some guys a little lighter, not train quite as hard for certain guys, and still get away with a victory, but not anymore.

9:58 James Toney I can't afford to do too old for that now. You know what I'm saying? I must mature. I think right there, like I said, he's in for a whole world of hurt because I haven't fought since I had the injury. I'm hungry, I'm starving. I told him I had Achilles tendon.

10:12 Adam How did you do that, by the way?

10:13 James Toney Oh, boxing.

10:14 Adam Really?

10:15 James Toney Spine. As a matter of fact, having the week before my last fight, I went in and threw a left hook. They see no snap, down I go.

10:23 Adam How does that work, by the way? There's a guy with 70-something professional fights. God knows how much road work getting up at the crack of Don and hitting the road and everything. And then you just throw a hook, a punch you've thrown a million times, and all of a sudden pop.

10:38 James Toney You know, it could happen if I walk down the street. What could happen to you? Walking down the street. I can say it was a lot of work, a lot of hard work getting back together. Everybody was going to fight this year. They thought we were going to next year. I got my mind to do it. I just got tired of watching all these heavyweight champions, pretendos, of trying to fight and talk about how I'm going to do this and do that. I got to show what real fighting is all about.

11:06 Adam Do you think you're going to get Klitschko after you beat Rydell Booker?

11:14 James Toney I ended up more contented in the world. So, you know, right now basically he's living on borrowed time. I'm going to get him. Basically all I got to do is go down the street to the bread boxing gym and go in that gym at four o'clock in the afternoon and go knock his ass out.

11:29 Adam Yeah, he trains down the street.

11:32 James Toney I'm just trying to be cordial right now. But after the fight, I will start steering things up.

11:37 Adam Okay. You know, you can get guys, by the way, to fight you if you make fun of them for long enough.

11:43 James Toney I must break you.

11:45 Adam Especially guys that are 6'8 and 260 pounds aren't used to having people screw with them. You screw with them enough, you do it. You know, the guy who beat Roy Jones Jr. I mean, the unbeatable Roy Jones Jr. He's not unbeatable.

11:59 James Toney He's got, hey, it was like, it was a female getting knocked out by another female that night.

12:03 Adam All right. Sorry, James. I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to rouse you. All I'm saying is, is some people thought that Roy Jones Jr. was a guy who couldn't be beat and...

12:14 James Toney Those people were crazy. Those people, I thought they were, they didn't know nothing about boxing.

12:19 Adam Well, it had been a while since he lost. It's been a while since he lost.

12:22 James Toney It's been a while since he fought, but it's real. And this time, you know, he paid the price.

12:27 Adam He fought the guy who kept bugging him.

12:29 James Toney Yes.

12:29 Adam He just kept going to his press conference.

12:31 James Toney Well, he wouldn't fight me, though, because I was bugging him, worse than he was. Yeah, but you're scary.

12:34 He scared the death of me.

12:35 Adam Well, everyone's scared.

12:36 James Toney You scared the death of me.

12:37 Adam You should be scared of you.

12:38 James Toney I am.

12:42 Adam Karen?

12:44 James Toney Karen?

12:45 Adam You're 20?

12:46 Caller Yeah.

12:47 Adam What's up?

12:49 Caller I, well, me and my boyfriend were having sex and-

12:53 James Toney Mm-hmm.

12:55 Caller And I started bleeding. Well, we found out after that it was blood. He just thought I was like really wet. And afterwards when we were done, I saw like it was dark and I was like, oh crap, it's blood. And then I just thought, or we just thought that I just got my reg when we were doing it. And then-

13:17 Adam What about it?

13:18 Caller Is it normal to like bleed during sex? Because it never happens to me before.

13:22 Drew Are you on the birth control pill?

13:23 Caller No.

13:24 Drew Are you on shots? Ooh. Are you on shots?

13:28 Adam He's from the street, Drew.

13:30 Drew Come on. He goes right for it.

13:31 Adam He's no doctor.

13:33 Drew Any birth control?

13:34 Caller No, I don't take anything at all.

13:36 Drew Anything at all. Well, it can happen. Sex can sometimes generate bleeding. It's not uncommon.

13:40 Adam It is weird though when the lights are off and you're like, boy, this chick's excited. And then you look down and it's like, oh, Christ, that's horrible. That's like a horror movie when you wash yourself off in the sink. The close up of the train. Crap going down there. Yeah, it's a good luck. All right. We got a, Stephen's got a boxing question. Stephen?

14:08 What's up, man?

14:14 Adam Go, Stephen.

14:14 Who's gonna win between Hopkins and Delahoyah?

14:18 James Toney Oh, Hopkins, look at me. It's gonna be a tremendous fight. I look at that two scenarios. I look at if Delahoyah can fight, fight the, can box a purple fight like he did against Trinidad, but fight the last three rounds and box effectively, he will win. But if he's still there and trying to stand tall and tall, Bernard, he's gonna get knocked out.

14:36 Adam Well, Hopkins is...

14:38 James Toney He's a tremendous fighter.

14:39 Adam By the way, he's like got 18 successful title defenses. Yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty amazing. Delahoyah doesn't get the credit that he deserves those, being a pretty tough champion, too.

14:50 James Toney Delahoyah is a good, he's a true, he's a great fighter, but if you put Delahoyah against the fighters of the 70s and 80s, he won't last a minute.

14:59 Adam Oh, really? You think those guys were better? Well, that's true. Hurns.

15:04 James Toney With 80-months, like he did Pepino Cuevas, one or two rounds blowout.

15:07 Adam Well, that's true. That's an interesting thing.

15:09 James Toney Inverted Iran with a shoot him up.

15:10 Adam It's an interesting, you know, it's interesting, which is, you know, when you go back and look at sports, and most sports, you go back and look at football from the 70s, a bunch of 190-pound guys with their socks around their ankles, running around, wrapping guys, and now, you know, a bunch of guys, you know, flying 20 feet in the air and throwing forearms. So in basketball, the same way, a bunch of white guys in shiny shorts throwing the ball around.

15:34 James Toney Tight shorts.

15:34 Adam Yeah, tight, shiny shorts with belts, ironically. You get the world's tightest shorts. I know we need a goddamn belt to hold them up. But the point is, is you look back 20, 25, 30 years ago in every other sport and you go, there's no way they couldn't compete, couldn't compete today. Too small, too weak, too whatever. Boxing, you look back on, you know, your Muhammad Ali's or your Hearns, Thomas Hearns, Iran, Hagler, and you go, these guys, these guys 20, 30 years back would be competitive today. And maybe, maybe part of that is just the weight division too. That in football, they just keep getting heavier, they keep getting bigger, just keep bigger and stronger and everything. There, 160 is 160. You know, you take a guy 30 years ago, 160 with no fat, you take a guy today, 160 with no fat, you gotta do the math, you know what I mean? James, how would you have fared back 20, 30 years ago?

16:30 James Toney See, I'm an old school fighter, I can fight any decade.

16:33 Adam So you say do okay?

16:35 James Toney I'll do perfect. I'll be a champion of the world like I am today.

16:38 Adam I just wanted to make sure.

16:39 Drew What position Sir Francis of Targeting would have been playing?

16:42 Adam Yeah, they're friends.

16:43 James Toney Well, Sir Francis was a great quarterback.

16:44 Adam It was, but he was 5'9.

16:46 5'8, yeah.

16:47 James Toney But he just couldn't win the big one.

16:50 Adam Just couldn't win the big one, that's alright. I'm just saying, here's a guy who's, you know, he's 5'8, he's 150 pounds, he's got a comb over. I mean, the quarterbacks now, they're like 6'8, they're 240 pounds. I mean, they're just throwing those lasers down the field.

17:06 James Toney And they crybaby shoot them. They get a little pinky, they go, eww, they gonna lock me.

17:10 Adam Yeah, those guys were tough. They take the needle back then, Drew. And by the way, in boxing, what about, you don't hear about steroids that much in boxing. I know Vargas got busted for steroids and was put out for a year. You always can tell in boxing, because you're doing it with your shirt off. You see the guy in his last fight, he doesn't look so great, and then all of a sudden six months later, he's got muscles coming out of the back of his neck. But it doesn't seem to help that much in boxing.

17:37 James Toney You know what, because in boxing, you can't put steroids in your chin.

17:40 Adam That's right.

17:41 James Toney You know, the chin is the most important thing. If you ain't got a good chin, you won't last in this game.

17:46 Adam Right.

17:47 James Toney And like I said.

17:50 Adam And they test, right?

17:51 James Toney Yeah, they test everything in boxing.

17:53 Adam They do the tests. One time a guy got stripped of his belt for testing positive for marijuana. Give the guy another belt. He's smoking pot and he's in there. First off, could you imagine being high and walking out to the ring? You would freak, right? Immediately just slide into the crowd and grab something. With no sound. Really, the guys you test, I'm telling you, there's performance enhancing drugs, right? The steroids are performance enhancing, the blood doping, all that. So they test for it because it's unfair to the people they're competing against for performance enhancing. Pot doesn't help anything.

18:33 Drew Quite the contrary.

18:35 James Toney Look at Ricky Williams.

18:36 Adam Yeah, pot just makes you want to eat and not do your road work.

18:39 James Toney Yes, and make you forget about 80-minute contract.

18:42 Adam Yeah, alarm goes off at 5 a.m. It's time to go do your road work, your stone. Forget about it, right? All I'm saying is using the logic of performance enhancing, if a guy's high, we should give him a couple rounds. You know what I mean? Yeah, give him another belt. Big hemp leaf on there. Amanda?

19:01 Caller Yeah.

19:02 Adam You're 22?

19:03 Caller I am.

19:04 Adam What's up?

19:06 So my entire life, when I was like, whenever I get hit with something, I never ever bruise, ever. And ever since I changed to the Nuva Ring, every couple weeks, I get bruises like crazy. And I was wondering if it had anything to do with that.

19:23 Adam Explain what that Nuva Ring is, by the way.

19:25 Drew It's a birth control ring you put inside.

19:27 Adam Right. And let me tell you some about James Toney. He wants Klitschko so badly, he would fight him in a Nuva Ring.

19:35 Drew In the Nuva Ring?

19:36 Adam In the Nuva Ring. Nice. Yeah. There's arguments about 18-foot ring, 20-foot ring, guys want bigger and smaller ring. He'd fight him in a Nuva Ring. Yeah.

19:45 James Toney That's how small it is.

19:46 Adam That's how small it is. Yeah. Yeah. What about it, Drew?

19:50 Drew Yeah, that can happen. Are you bloating or hanging out of the fluid, are your breasts getting tender or anything like that?

19:55 Oh, my goodness. My breasts are so tender all the time now and they never were before. Well, I wouldn't say all the time, but at least every couple weeks they get so tender I can't touch them. They hurt so bad.

20:07 Drew You okay with that, Adam?

20:07 Adam Yeah, as long as I can look at them. It doesn't hurt them to look at them, does it? No.

20:14 It's just like they're uncomfortable even in my bra and it's just not...

20:18 Adam Well, maybe you should get off this new ring, right?

20:19 Drew Yeah, you should talk to the doctor about it. It sounds like this isn't working for you. And don't worry about the bruising. It doesn't necessarily mean anything serious.

20:26 Do you think it has something to do with the ring?

20:29 Drew Oh, I do. Why should you have two problems simultaneously? Yes, you should have a blood count down, you should have something called a protime, but the fact is, it's probably the medicine.

20:37 Adam James, you have kids? Family?

20:39 James Toney Oh, yeah.

20:40 Adam How many?

20:41 James Toney Can't tell you that.

20:42 Adam 30? Like, what, you got a ton?

20:44 James Toney Well, about 10 of them.

20:45 Adam You don't hear about that. That's right. Yeah, like Evander Holyfield, you hear about, well, Evander talks too much about God. That's why people start looking at him a little bit.

20:54 James Toney Evander's a hypocrite, though. That's why I had to do like I did.

20:58 Adam Yeah, that's why I had to beat him. Yeah. And by the way, you know, Holyfield's thumping the Bible and thumping chicks at the same time. It's like, he's got three, four different kids, three, four different sets of kids.

21:09 Drew It's a technicality.

21:11 Adam I'm just saying.

21:12 Drew He sees his way out of it with technicalities.

21:13 Adam Yeah. Yeah. But you beat Holyfield. Aren't you worried you might go to hell? No. Just want to check that.

21:21 Drew Why would that send you to hell?

21:23 Adam Well, because he loves God. Oh, I see. It's like beating God up.

21:26 James Toney So do I. But I just don't go to church and be saying like he did.

21:29 Adam And by the way, talk about performance enhancing. How about kissing God's ass, getting in good with him and then going in the ring? You know what I mean? That's an unfair advantage. If you think about it, is it like I'm an atheist. I don't stand a chance in there. I'm lucky to just get whacked in the head, have some vessel burst and just go into a coma and be dead before I hit the ground.

21:48 James Toney Welcome to Kid of the Day.

21:50 Adam That's what would have happened today. James lights out Tony in the studio tonight, not only a great boxer, but a great humanitarian and a great individual. James. A legend. A legend. 67 and 4, everybody.

22:07 Drew I forgot to mention that the Against the Robe was based on his life.

22:10 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. He had he had one of the first. Well, I don't know if it's one of the first, but she was a female manager.

22:17 James Toney The first one was Becky O'Neill. They keep on forgetting about her. She's nice to live in Philadelphia.

22:22 Adam Jewish female manager. I remember seeing her when I saw James fight at the Olympic Auditorium about 10 years ago. It's crazy. Just all hair and nails climbing in to the ring. All right. So that movie was with Meg Ryan and who was that? Omar Epps. Omar Epps. Loosely based on James Toney. James is going to be fighting this Thursday one week from today on Fox Sports West. It's going to be broadcast live on the best day on a sports show. He's fighting guy, Ryder Booker, 22 and 0. So no walk in the park for James. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

23:07 Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready, ready, ready.

23:13 Caller Loveline is brought to you by the Sony Network Walkman player with up to 30 hours battery life, Sony like no other.

23:42 Adam See Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Here tonight with legendary boxer James Lights Out Tony. 67 and four. Soon to be 68 and four. Fighting one week from tonight. This Thursday, and it's gonna be live on the Best Damn Sports Show. And you find Rydell Booker who's 22 and 0 and then gonna be looking for a Clitch Go, namely Vitaly. It's tough because one's Vladimir and the other's Vitaly.

24:19 James Toney But they both suck.

24:20 Adam You always got a hiccup. Yeah, well, one doesn't suck as badly as the other. And that's the guy who's got the heavyweight belt right now.

24:27 Drew Right, I think the win is over.

24:29 Adam James got to get it from him. Yeah, now see, the problem is, is this a tall guy? Yeah, he's a lot of, Drew, you want to drag out the cardboard picture of him? We'll keep a cardboard picture of him here in the studio.

24:44 James Toney For what? What the hell you want to picture him for?

24:47 Adam Well, now that's a good question.

24:49 James Toney Oh, Lord, look at this guy's picture.

24:51 Adam When you see it, you got the breast is on him, you got the lipstick on him, the eyeliner.

24:57 James Toney Yeah, that's a pretty good picture of him.

25:00 Adam Yeah, what happened is a layman Brewster came in here and he drew on it. Yeah, so the point is, and by the way, if Klitschko ever comes in here, we got to hide that thing.

25:15 James Toney No, if Klitschko comes in here, make sure you call me so I can put that post out for you.

25:19 Adam Yeah.

25:20 James Toney I got your back.

25:20 Drew They guard us.

25:21 James Toney Adam, I got you.

25:22 Adam We'll just hide that.

25:22 James Toney I got your back.

25:23 Adam I don't really need you to beat him up, I just need you to keep him busy for long enough for me to get to my car.

25:28 James Toney Got you.

25:29 Adam That's all. And then what happens after that's what happens. I can't be responsible for that. I give two toots on the horn when I'm driving down Venice. There you go. Yeah. That would be a nice fight. And the thing is, where this guy's essentially a super heavyweight. And heavyweight, once you got out of cruiserweight, you got into the heavyweight division. And guys used to fight at the heavyweight division at 218, 215, 195. You know, Muhammad Ali, probably half the dudes Muhammad Ali fought were in the 200 pound range. He would, you know, what's his name? Trying to think of...

26:09 James Toney Say, Liston?

26:10 Adam Well, Liston was probably a little bit heavier.

26:12 Drew Foreman was big.

26:13 Adam Foreman was big, but Foreman was still 226 when he fought Ali and considered one of the bigger heavyweights. All I'm saying is, now these guys are 265 and they're 6'8. So there really should be a super heavyweight division.

26:32 James Toney I don't think so.

26:33 Adam You don't want that?

26:34 James Toney No, I don't want that because you don't need that.

26:36 Adam Why not?

26:36 James Toney These guys, these so-called big guys, they're big and bad. Bring their ass to me.

26:43 Adam Right.

26:43 James Toney This is James' world right here. They just got a little ball time in it.

26:47 Adam James is slick and that's the whole thing. These guys are big and clumsy. So, I think James' plan would be to out slick them.

26:53 James Toney My plan is go in there and just knock them straight out like I did Holyfield.

26:56 Adam Oh, you do the slick part and then you knock them out.

26:58 James Toney Yeah, because you know, I'll sit there. I don't run from nobody. Like I told you, Adam.

27:03 Adam No, you don't run.

27:04 James Toney You saw the fellow Holyfield. I stand right in front of him.

27:06 Adam Yes.

27:06 James Toney And Holyfield is one of the greatest fighters of all time. You know, he made things. He was holding dance on for three fights.

27:12 Adam Right.

27:13 James Toney And what I did to him was candy, playing with him.

27:16 Adam Now, James is a natural boxer and he's very slick and very hard to hit and he doesn't have to run around and dodge you. He stands right in front of you and you miss him. And then he hits you and then he wins. James, that's how it works.

27:31 Drew That's why you didn't fight him today.

27:32 Adam Call her James. Yeah, well that in my period. I was, I looked down into my sweats. I was spotting. It was very embarrassing.

27:39 James Toney What's wrong with this guy?

27:40 Adam I went into the bathroom to find a tampon dispenser. Yeah, I had to stuff a pad to my low foul protector, Drew. Let me tell you something, too. Let me tell you something, too. Guys look scarier sparring than they do in the fights. I'll tell you why. Sparring, yeah, you see them in the fight. They're wearing the silk trunks and the silk robe and they're sort of cleaned up a little and they're fighting in a nice place, a lot of good-looking blonde chicks sitting around, the ring girls and Michael Buffers there and it's sterile. You see them in the gym. There's duct tape on the canvas floor. There's blood everywhere.

28:23 James Toney That's the workplace, baby.

28:25 Adam The guy he was sparring was wearing a t-shirt, looked like the operating table. There's blood and guts and parts. He had part of his nose. He had an ear on. James is sitting there. You wear the low foul protector, the cup belt thing. You wear it outside of your trunks when you're sparring. You look sort of disheveled but crazy disheveled. You're wearing cut off sweatpants. You're wearing the head gear and stuff. You look like a lunatic. You look like a maniac. It's not the shiny stuff. You look that much scarier. Then the environment is scarier. It's like you're fighting in a cave.

29:04 James Toney Cause everybody's looking at you.

29:05 Adam Right. Yeah. James talking and whacking guys in the head. And plus I heard stories about James too. People are like, oh yeah. He, well, you never know. You know you get that kind of, you know, that's the thing that scares you the most. Yeah like they, you know, they go, oh, you're going to move around with James? Yeah. Oh, okay. You never know. I mean, he likes you, right? Oh, you never know. See that kind of stuff scares you. Caller James?

29:31 Yep. Yeah.

29:32 Adam What's up?

29:34 Well, hey Dr. Drew, hey Adam, how are you doing? My, actually my question is if I drink and then I have sex that night, could my sperm possibly get, if the baby was to conceive that night, give it fetal alcohol syndrome?

29:50 Adam Wow.

29:50 Drew Your drunken sperm?

29:51 Adam If that were true, everyone, every kid would just be walking around with a hockey helmet on and drooling into a cup. We'd all have it. Everyone gets pregnant when they're drunk, right?

30:01 Drew And you're saying, if only you were the drunk one, if she was straight?

30:04 If I was the drunk one, because my wife will let me have sex with her when I'm drunk, because she thinks that I could transmit fetal alcohol syndrome.

30:12 Drew That doesn't happen that way. And in fact, it doesn't even happen if she were drunk either, reality is, because, look, people have this very bizarre conception, that concept, that conception occurs at the moment of intercourse, like the sperm is released into the vagina and moments later I'm pregnant. The fact is, the pregnancy actually develops, on average, about one to two days later.

30:32 Adam Really? Not with Holyfield. Holyfield happens the day before.

30:37 Drew The egg is sitting there.

30:39 Adam He actually gets him pregnant before he actually has sex with him.

30:41 Drew The sperm sits there for up to three days, waits for an egg to be released. It's rare that the egg would just be sitting there waiting.

30:47 Adam So you're saying your stuff sobers up while it's waiting?

30:53 Drew Yeah, the workout, the workout of swimming up, screaming like that.

30:56 Adam Yeah, you sleep it off. Oh, you work it out.

30:58 Drew Sweat it out.

30:58 Adam You sweat it out. Yeah, you go sweat it out. All right, so if you're drunk, your sperm's not drunk, right?

31:05 Drew It's just either going to work or it's not going to work.

31:06 Adam Yeah, because that's all I need because I do a fair amount of masturbation when I'm drunk and I don't need any other big man beating off again. You met your sperm coming out drunk. Hey, loser, how'd the date go?

31:20 Yeah, the date went so well, what am I doing on your sock?

31:30 Adam Badger, your sperm talking smack after it came out.

31:37 Drew First it was me, what? What? Outrage!

31:41 Adam Now you're walking to the toilet with the cleaner.

31:43 Hey, buddy, come on now! I thought we had something!

31:47 James Toney Hey, hey, Adam, you talking about anybody in the room over there?

31:54 Adam So nothing gets, no sperm will not get drunk.

31:57 Drew No, well, it can get impaired if you're not drunk.

31:59 Adam How about a booger? Did you get a booger drunk?

32:01 Drew Oh, goodness. Boogers don't usually talk like that.

32:04 Adam Come on, you whack people in the head for a living. Jay? What's happening? 23.

32:13 Hey, I got a question for you guys. I, when I was about 10 to, well, between the time of 10 and 12 years old, my dad's sister, she molested me.

32:27 Adam Your dad's sister.

32:28 Drew How old was she?

32:30 She would have been, oh, God. See, that's... Kim? That brightened up in her, like, 22, 23.

32:36 Drew She was 22 at the time, molesting an 8-year-old, 9-year-old.

32:41 It's weird.

32:41 James Toney Wow.

32:42 My cousin, my cousin on my mom's side, she's three years older than I am, and she also would do things to me when I was at that age.

32:51 Drew A female cousin?

32:53 Yeah. And my mom and my dad had a talk with, like, my aunt and uncle and stuff about it and whatever.

32:59 Adam Had a talk with the shoot.

33:01 Drew Well, we... They shot him. Yeah.

33:04 They wanted to know what was going on because they, I went to my parents with it when it happened and I didn't, because I didn't, I mean, at that age, I mean, I really didn't, you know...

33:13 Drew Right...

33:14 .know what they were doing.

33:15 Adam Did you have sex with her?

33:16 Well, no. They, like, they would touch me and they would, like, make me do things to them. And my parents...

33:24 Adam I know it's not a factor, but it's easier, it's a less bitter pill to swallow if she was hot. Was she hot? I mean, look, let's face it. It helps. Here's all I'm saying, all I'm saying is this, and I know it sounds horrible, but if she came into the room and was a big fat pig with, you know, clamp-on earrings and chewing gum and be like, you poor dear, you were traumatized, and if she came in and looked like Nicole Kidman, people would be like, all right, kid, let's move on. I mean, we can get over it, right? I mean, it is true. It is true as guys. Yeah? Where was he? Line one.

33:58 Caller But the thing is that ever since then, like, I don't know, normally in cases like this when you're traumatized like that, with something like that, don't you normally, like, you're not as more tendency to want to have sex and do stuff like that or...

34:12 Drew Yeah, you can get hypersexual.

34:14 Adam It can speed you up or it can shut you down.

34:16 Drew Or you can flex right back and forth.

34:18 Caller Okay, you see with me, it's I want it all the time now.

34:20 Drew Yeah, yeah. It really kind of wires up that part of your brain and then puts a supercharger behind it basically.

34:25 Caller And like my girlfriend, I have a girlfriend right now and, like, I've been with her for about a year and four months and we started having sex about two months ago. And before it I had a girlfriend, before her I had a girlfriend for three and a half years and we had had sex about a year and a half after we were together and it wasn't like it was a big deal with her. You know, we just did it occasionally and now this girlfriend, it's all the time. All right.

34:48 Adam Well, listen, 23-year-old guys are going to have sex as much as they can with whoever they can have sex with anyway.

34:54 Drew Well, if you've been a trauma survivor, sometimes you can never be satisfied. It's always more and more.

34:57 Caller That's the best thing. I feel like I'm never satisfied. Yeah.

35:00 Adam Well, how about a little therapy?

35:02 Caller Well, that's the other thing I was thinking about. You know, is that, is there, I obviously could go to probably, what would it be, like a sex therapist or just a regular therapist?

35:10 Adam Just regular.

35:10 Drew Regular therapist. But are you an alcoholic or is that alcohol in your family?

35:14 Caller I don't drink at all.

35:15 Drew But is there any of that in your family?

35:19 Caller My dad, he's, he isn't a drunk, but he drinks probably every day he drinks.

35:26 Drew So it's possible you've got the combo here of addiction and trauma, which results in sexual addictions. So you could consider SA also as a way of.

35:35 Adam But you gotta get a little therapy if your aunt's coming in that way.

35:37 Drew That's why. And a cousin, but different sides of the family? Where does that?

35:41 Adam That's just white trash there, you know.

35:45 Drew That's super white trash. You didn't tell the story about what they look like, how old they were, that kind of stuff.

35:49 Adam Oh, okay. It's gonna get sad. Were they ugly? I mean, it makes it different.

35:55 Caller It wasn't pleasant. Let's just say that.

35:57 Adam It wasn't. And would you have to do oral sex on them?

36:00 Caller The one that was 22, yeah. She would have me groping her and doing stuff and fingering her and stuff like that.

36:08 Drew Wow, it's just incredible to me.

36:09 Caller And it's weird because she's married, she has four kids now and like...

36:14 Adam You see her on Thanksgiving?

36:16 Caller Well, it's kind of hard. No, we don't really because my dad doesn't get along with his family.

36:21 Drew And what is it your parents wanted to know about it, they sat down and had a little discussion about this?

36:25 Caller Well, they didn't find out about... My dad didn't find out about his sister until probably a lot, like after the stuff happened with my cousin. It kind of happened during the same time. It was weird because it wasn't connected at all really. I mean, they didn't know each other, either side of the family. And obviously, my cousin, she was only a few years older than me.

36:41 Drew Yeah, but once you've been made a victim, the other victimizers sniff it out.

36:45 Adam They sniff it on you.

36:46 Drew They just see it. It's amazing.

36:48 Adam Yeah, I know. Yeah. All right. Well, bad times, as we like to say, over here. But Jay, he landed on his feet. He'll be fine. He'll get a little therapy, work it out. Still not as bad. I don't believe it was as bad as if it was a woman doing this to a guy, a young girl doing this to an older guy.

37:05 Drew Older guy was abusing the, yeah, yeah.

37:07 Adam Better 10-year-old guy.

37:09 Drew It ends up kind of the same place, though, doesn't it? It's interesting.

37:12 Adam Yeah. There's parts of the world where 10-year-old guys get gone, you know, at that age, yeah. James, when did you lose your virginity? 10?

37:20 James Toney 11.

37:22 Adam I mean, I could see you grew up in Detroit, right?

37:24 James Toney I'm a veteran. See, this is why they call me Dark Gable. I'm very able, man. I take care of business. Ain't no shortstop for me, baby.

37:33 Adam Dark Gable.

37:34 James Toney Goddamn right. Say it again.

37:36 Adam Dark Gable.

37:37 James Toney There you go.

37:37 Adam Well, wait a minute. Who came up with Dark Gable?

37:40 James Toney It's me, Dark Gable, President Douglas, you know, Count Chocula. I'm all that. Whatever you want me to be, I'm that. I can't help it.

37:48 Adam Let's ask. We got a quick question for James Lights Out, Tony or James Dark Gable, Count Chocula.

37:54 James Toney I like the lights out.

37:55 Adam Tony, Paul? You're 30.

37:58 Caller What's up?

37:59 Hey, you're awesome, dude.

38:01 James Toney Thanks, man.

38:02 Caller How long before you get to knock out Coach Co?

38:05 James Toney We're talking about April.

38:07 Oh, in April?

38:08 James Toney April's gonna be the date. April, somewhere around, April 7th, somewhere around there.

38:12 Adam Now, is that a big payday fight?

38:13 James Toney Oh, it's huge.

38:14 Adam Have you done okay?

38:16 James Toney We've done good.

38:17 Adam I mean, in your career, and you've been boxing for what? 20?

38:22 James Toney 18.

38:23 Adam 19 years of professional boxing.

38:25 James Toney We've done good.

38:26 Adam And you've made money.

38:28 James Toney Done good.

38:28 Adam Good. I'm glad to hear that. Here's the thing about boxing. It's all over the map. I mean, there's guys.

38:33 James Toney But certain fighters make certain money. Certain fighters, a lot of fighters don't make everything like you think.

38:37 Drew It's like radio.

38:38 Adam Yeah.

38:39 James Toney I don't know about that, bro.

38:42 Adam No. It is. You'd be surprised and angered to know that Drew, A, makes as much as me, which doesn't seem fair at all. But B, yeah, there are guys that are doing this shift at night and getting 30 bucks a night.

38:54 James Toney 30 bucks a night?

38:55 Adam Not us. We're getting $33.50.

38:56 James Toney That's what I'm talking about.

38:58 Adam Yeah. So James, good. You're making money. Good. Because there are guys who've had long careers, had a lot of fights, names you've heard of who didn't do very well, and a lot of guys just threw their money away, too, right?

39:08 James Toney Yeah, but see, you know, you got to be diverse. I'm a diverse individual like Doc Gable, you know. That's my alter ego.

39:16 Adam Do you save your money? Do you invest your money?

39:19 James Toney Yes. I have investment councils and everything like that. You do? Good.

39:23 Adam Smart. Let the Jews handle it. Black man will do the fighting. Let the Jews take care of the money.

39:28 James Toney No, I know.

39:29 Adam Listen.

39:29 James Toney But this black man right here, he's smart because you know that's why I said the Doc game production is coming to play. I might put you in the film.

39:36 Adam Please. Please put me in your movie.

39:38 James Toney Yes.

39:39 Adam Please.

39:39 James Toney Definitely.

39:40 Adam What is it? What's the movie about?

39:42 James Toney Adam Carolla does LA.

39:44 Adam Good. Now I have to be in the movie.

39:46 James Toney Otherwise I'm suing.

39:47 Adam We'll take a quick break. James lights out Darkwing Duck, Dark Gable, Dark Gable, King of Chocolate, all that.

39:57 James Toney We'll be right back.

40:00 Adam Shlong, Tony is in the hissy and we'll be right back after this.

40:08 James Toney Call Loveline.

40:08 Adam Loveline 1. Can I get pregnant if I do?

40:10 Can you get addicted to that?

40:11 It hurts when I pee.

40:12 Caller That's pretty accurate.

40:13 Loveline.

40:14 Adam Be right back. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. James lights out Tony in the studio tonight. Sixty-seven and four. And then a couple of draws, too, by the way. Which is...

40:59 James Toney Avenged, though. Avenged.

41:00 Adam Avenged draws. Seventy... Didn't win the fight, shot the guy in the parking lot. Seventy... So what is that? Seventy-three professional fights. Fights. And that's active because most... A lot of guys fight once, twice a year.

41:16 James Toney It should have been more, but I retired for two years.

41:19 Adam Did you?

41:19 James Toney Yeah.

41:21 Adam What years did you retire?

41:22 James Toney From 97 to 99.

41:25 Adam And what did you do while you were retiring?

41:30 James Toney Drip clubs, pizza, steak.

41:32 Adam Sure, sure.

41:33 James Toney Tribal eggs.

41:34 Adam Yeah.

41:34 James Toney Good life.

41:35 Adam Yeah, I wonder if, by the way, you know, fighters, they're, I don't know, they're wired a certain way, which is when they ain't training.

41:44 Drew Going the other way.

41:44 Adam They're going the other way. Oftentimes, yeah. And that was the old you, right, James?

41:49 James Toney Going the other way to the food place.

41:51 Adam Right. But not anymore.

41:53 James Toney No, when I'm basically, because I'm at where I'm supposed to be in the first place, you know.

41:56 Adam Yeah.

41:57 James Toney I've always been a heavyweight and I'm very comfortable here. I think when I'm starting to show my real skills.

42:02 Adam Yeah. And so I'm with a shirt off today, Drew. Unfortunately, I was spotting and lactating. So I had to leave. I sprung a vagina when I walked into the gym. James Oskar was yelling at the guy who was beating up.

42:15 James Toney Yeah, I was trying to make him fight me.

42:17 Adam Poor guy.

42:18 James Toney Wank him. The guy had been calling for me for two weeks.

42:24 Adam The Mexican guy or the black guy? He been calling for you?

42:27 James Toney Yeah, he been calling for me for the last two weeks. So, you know, he got what he wanted.

42:30 Really?

42:31 James Toney Calling for you? Actually, there's a saying going around that says, be careful what you ask for because you might get it. He asked for it and he got it.

42:38 Yeah.

42:38 Adam I think that was part of the ring conversation, too. Yeah. Let me tell you, I talk to you in the ring. It sounds like this.

42:46 James Toney Sounds like Nick, man.

42:48 Eric? Eric?

42:51 Adam Caller goes by the name of Eric. Yes?

42:54 Yes.

42:55 Adam 25. What's up?

42:57 Hey. I've been listening to your shows. I like you guys a lot. I was just wondering every time you get a call from somebody, the first thing you ask is were you abused? Were you alcoholic?

43:09 Adam That's all we do.

43:11 Drew Are we ever wrong?

43:13 No, but it seems like that's the solution to all of your problems. I mean, you were abused. Yeah, go get some therapy. I mean, is that for real or?

43:22 Drew Yeah.

43:23 I mean, I have plenty of problems and I was never abused. My family wasn't alcoholics. I mean, you know what I'm saying?

43:31 Drew What kind of problem do you have?

43:34 Yeah, I got no problems, but I wasn't abused or I wasn't alcoholic.

43:38 Adam Listen, jackass, don't call the show anymore. What, are you drunk? Well, so what's your point? You call the show, you have no problems, but you have problems, you were never abused, we ask everyone if they're abused.

43:52 Caller What's your point? Well, I usually listen to the people call you for and the other one says, well, you were abused.

43:57 Adam I know.

43:58 Drew Because that's the source of their problems. That's why they get locked in.

44:00 James Toney What is the reason why you call them?

44:01 Drew That's why they get locked in these patterns of repetitive abuse. They are reenacting their original abuse. We're just bringing that to life. And it's something that takes years to treat. So the thing that we could treat that in a minute and a half on the radio is ridiculous.

44:14 Adam Well, no, but here's what we do. People call and they want to talk, they say, look, I got a piercing, you know, going through, goes in my ass, it comes out the urethra of my penis. And I now want to do one where I want to staple my scrotum sac to my forehead. Is that safe? And instead of us talking about stapling the guy's sac to his forehead, we try to get at the root of the problem.

44:36 Drew Why you're interested in stapling your scrotum to your forehead.

44:38 Adam It turns out your uncle took you down to the basement, molested you for 14 years. And now you think it's a good idea to staple your sac to your forehead. We'd rather address, here's what I'm saying. Instead of going to the... Superficial. Here's what I'm saying. Instead of getting out the mop, we'd like to stop the leak. That's what I'm saying. You could get out the mop every time, but why not just stop the leak?

45:04 Drew By the way, you're usually looking for us to endorse behaviors that are so destructive, that it doesn't even make sense to even talk about them.

45:10 Adam All right. I'm just saying, and I don't mean to come down on Eric, but I don't know what his point is. I'm mad at him now.

45:17 Eric?

45:18 Caller Yes?

45:19 Adam You come down here, and James Toney is going to give you a beatdown, all right?

45:24 Caller I would like to go and actually see him fight.

45:27 Adam All right.

45:28 Well, you guys, I like you a lot.

45:31 Adam You can watch Best Damn Sports Show on Thursday, a week from now, doing the fight live, something that hasn't been done before.

45:38 Caller Thanks for taking my call.

45:40 Drew Watch that. He's a good guy.

45:41 Adam He's a good guy. Everyone's a good guy.

45:43 Drew Why has it never been live fights before on TV?

45:45 Adam Well, they do them on TV, but they've never done it on a TV show that way.

45:49 James Toney It's the first time I've ever done a big TV show like this. That's why. It's big. It's been in everything. The publicity we're getting from it is great. I think it's going to break all records. It's going to be a great show. It's going to be a quick night. I'll get your butts out there early.

46:06 Drew That show's an hour show, right? Do you have to get the fight in in an hour?

46:12 James Toney Well, you know what I mean?

46:14 Adam They'll replay it. The fight, is it a, how many rounds?

46:18 James Toney It's 12 rounds.

46:19 Adam It's not going 12. No. But if it was a 12 round fight, you just go four times 12 and then you got your time there. What is that? Five days. It's 48. It's still in under an hour. You see what I'm saying?

46:33 James Toney It's going to be a good show. If you can't make it out, just tune in to the Best Dance Sports Show because I'm the best damn heavyweight period.

46:40 Adam Now you're going to start fast?

46:42 James Toney I'm going to start very fast. I'm going to start very fast, Adam. All the time I don't start fast as in the bedroom, pimp.

46:49 Adam I start slow and then go to stop. That's what I like to do. That's my move. I started slow, I go to pause and then to stop. Those are my three phases. And then I actually start backing up to the point where it becomes the calendar starts going the wrong direction. James lights out, Count Chocula, Black Gable.

47:08 Drew Dark Gable.

47:09 James Toney Dark Gable. There you go. You can come and count Black Gable if you want to.

47:12 Adam Black Gula. Tony is in studio tonight. He's going to be fighting one week from today. Guys, 22 and 0. The guy's fighting. So no pushover. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

47:26 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me.

47:28 So what's up?

47:48 Caller This hour brought to you in part by Axe. Experience the Axe Effect.

48:30 Hey everybody, it's Love Line.

48:34 Adam Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191- James lights out Tony in the studio tonight, 67 and four. Fighting one week from today on the Best Damn Sports Show period, and he's fighting a guy named Rydell Booker, Jewish guy, I'm guessing, with a name like Rydell Booker.

48:53 Yeah, I mean, you would assume.

48:55 Adam 22 and O, Rydell is, well, 22 and O, hard to argue with, but he's gonna have himself a loss on this record. Maybe two, you know what? When James is through with him, he may be 22 and two. He might, if you beat the guy up bad enough, can you give him two losses?

49:14 James Toney Oh, he might just do that.

49:15 Adam Yeah, so it'll be 22 and two, 22 and two, and James will be inching closer towards 70 professional.

49:25 James Toney It'll also be the debut of Lights Out Boxing, my new promotional company.

49:29 Adam Oh yeah?

49:29 James Toney Yeah, doing a co-promotion with dudes and tutors, so you know, big things are happening. Big things, big things.

49:35 Adam All right, well I will be watching and cheering. Cheering at home, Drew, and I will do that. Let's get back to the phones. James is gonna be here for one more segment. Matt?

49:48 Caller Hey, what's going on, guys?

49:49 Adam You're 20, what's up?

49:52 Caller Well, I got, I got hair growing up, I guess you could say the sides of the shaft. I wanted to know if there was any easy way to remove that, that's safe.

50:00 Adam It's bad times, that's like ivy going up a drain pipe.

50:04 Caller Yeah, pretty much like that.

50:05 Adam Hey Matt, you're calling for Michigan?

50:08 I certainly am, sir.

50:09 Adam That's James, James home state, yeah?

50:12 Caller Yeah, it is, I'm not a huge follower of the boxing, but I've heard your name many times, man, much respect.

50:17 James Toney Thank you very much.

50:18 Adam Yeah, and that's a good thing, by the way, when someone doesn't follow us for it, knows you. Yeah, where are you from?

50:23 Caller I'm from about half an hour outside of Detroit, Plymouth.

50:26 James Toney Oh yeah, you're right on the floor from Ann Arbor?

50:29 Caller Yeah, oh yeah.

50:30 James Toney How's it going to jump?

50:31 Caller I go to school in Ann Arbor.

50:33 James Toney Okay, go to University of Michigan, all right, all right.

50:36 Drew Or Northeastern Michigan.

50:37 James Toney No, University.

50:39 Adam Hey Matt?

50:41 Caller Yeah, what's up?

50:41 Adam So you got, well, you called. You got hair growing on your penis.

50:47 Drew I don't know if any of these laser techniques would be used on the penii.

50:51 Yeah, I was wondering.

50:53 Drew I don't know if it would be safe or what.

50:54 Caller Now, you know, that kind of, I don't know something about lasers and my penis that don't mix, you know what I mean?

50:58 Drew No, I understand that. And it's a sort of a painful procedure too. So I don't know offhand if they would use food on the genitalia or not, but I bet they do.

51:06 Adam All right, well, you don't want to shave it, right?

51:13 Caller I mean, it's nice.

51:13 Adam We're gonna need you following me around. I'm sorry, man. Woo! All right, how about, you know, you're gonna need, you're gonna need some waxing. You need a bikini wax.

51:22 James Toney Go to the next place.

51:23 Drew But that's gonna come right back, though.

51:25 Adam Not, not, what are you gonna do? Let me tell you something.

51:27 Drew Might as well shave it every day.

51:29 Adam All right, but let me, let me explain life, first off.

51:32 Drew What's life? Explain life.

51:33 Adam Let me explain life to you and James.

51:35 Drew James, listen carefully. He's gonna explain life. He's leaning in.

51:37 Adam First off, if you got a nice car, you gotta wash it once a week, right? Throw a quart of wax on it.

51:42 James Toney You gotta put the marmor on it.

51:43 Adam You gotta take care of it. What could be more important than your penis? That is the Ferrari of body parts. You understand?

51:49 Drew Or the Miata in your case.

51:52 All right, all right.

51:54 Adam You had to pick a gay car. You couldn't just pick a small car. You had to pick a gay car. All right. Okay, thank you. In my case, the Mini. Right.

52:03 James Toney The next question.

52:04 Adam The point is, is you gotta take care of that part, and if that means you gotta maintain it couple times a week, once a week, put a little wax strip on it, then so be it. That's what you gotta do. That's what he's gotta do. You don't wanna take a laser to it. You don't wanna shave it.

52:19 Drew Yeah, but the, why not?

52:20 Adam Why? You'll have, you'll have sex with a chick with a, you'll have a five o'clock stubble. You give her, you'll turn her inside out. Yeah, you'll tear her up.

52:30 James Toney Like a hamster.

52:31 Adam That's right. What? Like a hamster, that's my point. The point is, is you gotta either pluck it, or you gotta wax it. That's what I'm saying. All right. Marina?

52:45 Yep.

52:45 Adam You're 24?

52:47 Caller Yep.

52:47 Adam All right, what's up?

52:49 Caller Well, I just started seeing Guy about two weeks ago, and I immediately started getting intimate with him. Aside from the fact that alcohol was involved, I was just really, well, I am really gaga over him. But didn't have sex though until the second week. We just got intimate and fooled around and whatever. Anyway, aside from the sex, we get along absolutely great.

53:17 Drew Aside from the sex.

53:18 Adam What's wrong with the sex?

53:20 Caller Oh, there's nothing wrong with sex.

53:21 Adam All right, so you have good sex, you get along with him. What's the problem?

53:25 Caller The problem is, is I want to make sure, have some sort of signs of whether he is in it for just the sex, and for the good time, and then he'll drop me.

53:36 Drew How old is he?

53:38 Caller 32.

53:39 Drew 32, 32-year-olds are usually past that just for the sex stage, wouldn't you say?

53:44 Adam Yeah, yeah, I was past 32, and I got married, I'm looking to get back in the way.

53:51 Drew But I mean, if she had said 22, I would say, well, that's what he's in for.

53:56 Adam Also, let's just try to figure out what this guy's got going for him, because, okay, here's what I say, let's put it this way, it's sad but true. Guys will do about as much as they can do with as many people as they can do it with. Now, Drew, you don't have this problem because your wife's listening and you won't admit it, but here's what I mean, here's what guys will do. Guys will be with the same woman for a long time, all of a sudden win the lottery, get a sports car, and all of a sudden they're banging their secretary. It depends, guys are, you know, the reason actors-

54:25 Drew That, by the way, is why you wait till later in life to see where you're gonna put your positions.

54:29 Adam The reason professional athletes and actors aren't faithful to their girlfriends is because they can get other chicks. I mean, oftentimes, that's what happens. No, James doesn't know. No, boxers never do this kind of stuff. No, I mean, when I say professional athlete, I mean golfer, polo, bowling, swimming, bowling.

54:50 James Toney Lawyers.

54:52 Adam Lawyers.

54:52 Drew Curling.

54:53 Adam Curling, there's a guy. Those Canadians. Yeah, I mean, those types of guys. Yeah, I'm not talking about your black fighters.

55:04 James Toney We're so innocent.

55:05 Adam No, not basketball players.

55:07 Drew How dare you?

55:08 Adam No, and I'm sorry if I even, if you inferred that at all.

55:12 James Toney I'm appalled.

55:13 Adam I want to apologize. I'm sorry, buddy. I spoke out of turn.

55:20 Drew Yes, you did. James got a career in acting, I swear to God.

55:22 Caller He really does.

55:23 Drew He's got a new career.

55:24 Adam He really does.

55:25 James Toney You guys really upset me.

55:26 Adam I'm sorry, buddy. If I could turn back time and take that back, I would do it in a heartbeat, I really would. And of course, I didn't mean boxers, but my point is, is guys will do as much as they think they can get away with. Now you show me a guy who's got a nice ride, a nice pad, who looks good with his shirt off and has a good gig. I'll show you a guy who might not be ready to settle down at almost any age.

55:48 Drew But, but, but, or who could, if he's there also could be ready to settle down and Marina could be the one.

55:55 Adam She all right, could be, could be. Marina? What's he do? What's his job?

56:01 Caller He has his own business.

56:03 Adam Does he make money? He does?

56:06 Caller He does.

56:06 James Toney Do you work for him?

56:08 Caller Does he what?

56:09 James Toney Do you work for him? Do you work for him?

56:13 Caller Oh, do I work for him?

56:14 James Toney Yeah.

56:15 Caller Oh, no, no.

56:17 Adam And he makes a good living. What kind of car does he drive?

56:23 James Toney Yeah.

56:25 Adam What kind? What kind?

56:29 Drew Does he talk about other girls? Is he still dating other people?

56:31 Adam No, he wouldn't talk about other girls.

56:33 Caller Well, as far as I know, he's not.

56:36 Drew What do you mean, as far as you know? Have you had this discussion yet?

56:38 Adam Does he look good with his shirt off? Because when guys stop working out, it means they're ready to get married.

56:43 James Toney Is he hairy?

56:45 Caller No, yeah, no, he looks good with his shirt off.

56:47 Adam He looks good with his shirt off.

56:48 James Toney Is he hairy?

56:49 Caller Is he hairy? Well, he shaves. He could be hairy.

56:52 Adam Uh-oh, he shaves.

56:54 Caller Uh-oh.

56:55 Adam That's trouble. If he's shaven, by the way, when you're primping, when you're plucking, when you're tanning, when you're shaven, when you're armor-auling, it means you're looking for chicks.

57:06 Drew Where does he live?

57:08 Caller Where does he live? Beverly Hills.

57:09 Adam Nudist colony. Where? Where does he live? Beverly Hills. Uh-oh. Where'd you meet him?

57:19 At a bar.

57:20 Adam At a bar. All right, all right. So he's a smooth talker, he's got a nice car, and he shaves his chest.

57:28 Caller We did have that conversation because I know I'm young and a lot of older guys think that, you know, well, she's too young for me, well, let's see what I can get out of her. She's young anyway and I wouldn't marry her.

57:39 James Toney How old are you?

57:40 Caller 24.

57:41 Adam 24.

57:42 Drew Okay, and so you had this conversation and what came of it?

57:45 Caller Well, he said, yeah, I'm looking for someone and whatever, but that was what I was expecting. Of course, I wasn't thinking he was gonna say, no, I'm just here to screw you.

57:54 Adam Right, all right, is he wearing any jewelry? He's got that, no jewelry.

58:00 James Toney Bling, bling.

58:01 Drew She's calling our show.

58:02 Adam That's good.

58:03 Drew Strike a guesser.

58:03 Adam All right, listen, Marina.

58:05 James Toney Uh-huh. What's that?

58:08 Adam Don't get pregnant.

58:10 Drew All right. You still need to have the talk with this guy, because you gotta at least get it clear to him that you're beginning to have more feelings than you would wish you'd had.

58:18 Adam Yeah.

58:18 Drew And that if he's gonna screw you over, you might as well understand what his intentions are and as he can adjust accordingly.

58:24 Adam You gotta worry when guys try and when the guys are keeping up with themselves. I mean, James.

58:28 Drew At 32.

58:29 Adam James, a professional athlete, he has to stay in shape. That's his business. But regular guys, when they start working out, I'd say the number one thing, if you were with a guy, especially if you're married to a guy or a dating guy, all of a sudden he starts working out, something's up.

58:45 Drew You guys just go up and down the workout thing.

58:47 James Toney He might need to get healthy.

58:48 Drew Yeah, guys go on and off with that. If the guy's never worked out before.

58:52 Adam There's a difference between me and you, James. You see the good in people and then try to kill them.

58:57 James Toney No, no, no, shut up. Look, now if a guy, if his health is declining, when you go to the doctor, the doctor says, you gotta do something to get you something better.

59:05 Drew Yeah, all right.

59:06 James Toney He might go to the gym.

59:07 Drew What if the guy has worked out all his life and kind of lets it go and then gets it back again?

59:10 James Toney Yeah, like myself, I did it before. I had it all go boom, got 275. Look at me now.

59:15 Adam 275.

59:16 James Toney 275.

59:18 Adam 275 packed on a 5'9 and probably still look better with a shirt off.

59:22 James Toney Not like Rollie Ploy, that was a doughnut.

59:24 Adam I don't know, but see when black guys get the rolls, it looks like muscle that's just, you know, just gonna nap. You don't get pink and stretch marks. Our nipples get bigger and stuff, you know? We have big frisbee size areolas. We're a mess. Yeah. I'm coming back as a black dude next, Drew. That's gonna be my move. Yeah, I'm gonna let the, you know, make sure everything's cool and then just come back as a black guy. And you know what? I'm not putting a shirt on. I'm walking around with my shirt off. I'm a dead a winner. Shirt off.

59:56 James Toney There you go.

59:56 Adam All the way. I don't care if I get a job as a lawyer. I'll put the tie on with no shirt. Just no shirt. All right. Where are we, Drew? All right. So here's my point. Oh, yes. Guys can work out, of course. I'm just saying if you're with a guy who doesn't seem interested in working out for a number of years and all of a sudden he's hit in the gym and looking at himself in the mirror, that may be a sign.

1:00:16 Drew All right. Whenever guys are behaving themselves, watch out. Basically what we're saying.

1:00:20 Adam When they're doing what?

1:00:21 Drew Behaving themselves.

1:00:22 Adam Yeah, that's right.

1:00:23 Drew Whatever it is.

1:00:23 Adam That's right. Amber?

1:00:25 Yeah?

1:00:25 Adam You're 21?

1:00:26 Caller Yes.

1:00:27 Adam What's up?

1:00:28 Caller I was just wondering if there's any health risks with this. I have this form of masturbation where I like to lay down in the tub and let the water pulsate over my vagina and my quatorus. And I was just wondering if that, like, there's any, like, if that can, like, do, I don't know, if there's anything, health effects with that.

1:00:48 Adam Yeah, is it all right with you, James?

1:00:50 James Toney Man, I need to go help her. I honestly didn't run with it at all. Man, Doc, I'm sorry, Doc.

1:00:56 Drew No, it's good, James. No, nothing wrong with that. That's a preferred method, as a matter of fact. It's certified.

1:01:01 Adam It couldn't wash your essence out, you know?

1:01:04 Drew No, not get your essence out. I suppose if you really had a firm, you know, sort of intense pressure, you could get a urinary tract infection, but that's about it. Or you could burn yourself, you said it was hot water, but, well, you'd work that out.

1:01:16 Adam How often do you do that, Amber?

1:01:18 Caller Whenever I feel like it.

1:01:20 James Toney Where your boyfriend at?

1:01:22 Adam Yeah, where's your boyfriend?

1:01:25 Caller I don't have one. It's like a guaranteed orgasm in like 30 seconds.

1:01:29 James Toney Oh, it's time for Dr. Gable to come over there.

1:01:32 Adam Black woman. Yeah, he communicates with fish and with vaginas. Alright, so guaranteed orgasm, 30 seconds, and really, once a week, twice a week, what are you good for?

1:01:45 Caller I'd say probably twice.

1:01:47 James Toney That's too much.

1:01:48 Adam I'm trying to think she's out in Phoenix.

1:01:51 James Toney Phoenix, Arizona. I'm out there all the time.

1:01:54 Adam Alright, swing by her pad. Should be the place the water coming out of the front door. Cascading down the driveway. I swear to you, we always talk about, especially Phoenix, it's a desert. And there's droughts. And water conservation, always a big deal. And here in Los Angeles, same thing, it's a desert, water conservation. And they're always telling you, hey, turn the sprinklers off, don't run them at night, don't run them during the day, don't wash your car off with the hose, don't wash down the drive with the hose, blow it out. How about, hey teenagers, quit beating off in the tub. You know, guys go in there, they turn the water on, so mom thinks they're taking a shower. Then they spend 20 minutes beating off in front of the toilet. You know what I mean? Meanwhile, that's beautiful water going right down the drain.

1:02:41 Drew Adam, a new PSA.

1:02:43 Adam I could do it. Hi, I'm Adam Carolla. This is my partner James Light South Tony. We're trying to knock out teenage masturbation. Hey, you want to beat off in bed? Fine. You want to do it in the closet? You want to do it in the entry hall?

1:02:55 James Toney Well, don't do it in the shower.

1:02:56 Adam That's right, that's good potable water just going right down the drain. And if you think about it, teenagers just go in, they turn the faucet on, and then they go in there, and they go at themselves. Somebody needs 20 minutes.

1:03:08 James Toney I'm going to tell you, they do that all the damn time.

1:03:10 Adam I know. We've got to stop that.

1:03:13 Drew That's it, that's the PSA right there.

1:03:17 Adam James Toney's lawn is turning brown because you teenagers won't quit beating off in the tub. And again, we do that thing where we do knock out water waste. Because whenever it's a sports thing, you gotta, if it's baseball, you gotta get home run.

1:03:33 Drew Turn off the tub and pick up the sock.

1:03:36 Adam Right, right, right.

1:03:37 James Toney I can't get with this good master beating this in the tub, man.

1:03:41 Adam Yeah, the guys do it like that, and then the girls, this is a thing I learned from this show, James. Many women do this in the tub.

1:03:50 Drew Our producer does it.

1:03:51 Adam Yeah, as a matter of fact, everyone except for my mom. No, your mom neither.

1:03:57 James Toney You talking about my mother?

1:03:59 Adam I'm saying she doesn't do it.

1:04:04 James Toney I don't care if she does it. Don't say the S word.

1:04:09 Adam I'm saying I don't care either. I'm not saying she does or she doesn't.

1:04:12 Drew You just say whatever James wants.

1:04:13 Adam Whatever James wants his mom to do in the tub is what she does.

1:04:17 James Toney That's what I know.

1:04:23 Adam You're 23? You want to marry your girlfriend?

1:04:28 Caller Yeah. Oh my God. I can't believe I'm talking to you guys. You guys are so awesome. Thank you for taking my call.

1:04:33 Drew You're gay.

1:04:36 Adam How dare you? He said he was getting married.

1:04:39 Drew What's up, Mike?

1:04:40 Caller Not too much. I just want to call and get your advice on my situation. I've been with my girlfriend for a really long time and like to ask her to marry me, but there's something that I've been keeping from her. I just have a... I was really young at the time and I got arrested for petty theft.

1:05:03 Drew What'd you steal?

1:05:04 Adam An ascot.

1:05:06 Drew A USB port.

1:05:09 Adam What'd you steal?

1:05:10 Caller A couple DVDs and stuff.

1:05:12 Adam DVDs.

1:05:13 Caller Just selling it for money.

1:05:16 Adam So you have a misdemeanor and what?

1:05:19 Caller Well, I mean, you know, it totally straightened out my life. I just graduated and like, I'm on the right track now. I'm applying to dental school and trying to do the right thing.

1:05:30 Adam So what?

1:05:31 Caller I just don't know if I should even bring it up to her or like...

1:05:35 James Toney That's the past, man. Leave it alone.

1:05:37 Drew I don't see why you would be... Is she squeaky clean and you idealize her and you're afraid that she'll somehow...

1:05:45 Caller I told her just recently that I pot once and she kind of was kind of freaked out about that too.

1:05:54 Drew By the way, his one time smoke was from 16 to 22.

1:05:58 Adam One time for eight years. Hey, Mike, why are you going to marry this prissy chick? She sounds too uptight for you. You're a wild man. You're a dental school student. You're out of control, buddy. You're like a biker. You know, with the floss and the water pick and everything.

1:06:14 Caller Well, you know how it goes. I don't know. She's a real girl. Hang on.

1:06:19 Drew You did not smoke Pachos once.

1:06:22 Caller No, really. Just once.

1:06:24 Adam Really?

1:06:26 Caller What's that?

1:06:27 Adam Yeah.

1:06:27 James Toney Was it good to you?

1:06:31 Caller Yeah, I got...

1:06:36 Adam Hold on a second. You're going to dental school.

1:06:38 Caller Well, not yet. I'm applying.

1:06:39 Adam You're applying to dental school. By the way, do you really want to do that? Crawl inside of people's mouths all day?

1:06:45 Drew It's a good life.

1:06:46 Adam It is a good life? Really? Look, scraping people's... the plaque off people's tongues and having them try to talk to you while they're all numbed up and...

1:06:55 Drew If they're interested in that stuff, it's pretty cool.

1:06:57 Adam Who's interested in that stuff? No, I wouldn't want a job. I want a job where people want to see me. You know what I mean? The dentists, people are angry when they show up.

1:07:07 Drew Yeah, just kids are that way. Adults are fine.

1:07:09 Adam I'm 40. I'm angry at the dentist.

1:07:11 Drew Oh, that's you.

1:07:12 Adam Mike? Yeah. All right. Well, look, I think she's too uptight. I think you ought to slow it down a little bit.

1:07:19 Drew Here's what you need to do. Mike, here's the deal. Don't idealize her so much. She needs to be able to accept who you are to hide parts of yourself because you're afraid of upsetting her sort of unrealistically rigid expectations. That's not a good relationship. You've got to lay it out, who you are, all your warts and sores and whatever. And if she loves you, she'll accept all that. It's not like you're somebody who's prone to spiraling out of control. You're fine. Yeah, don't hide stuff. It's all right.

1:07:51 Adam Let me tell you, before I got married, I told my wife I pee in the sink.

1:07:54 Drew No, you did not. You saved that until afterward and she's been freaking about it ever since. She would not have married you if she knew that.

1:08:02 Adam Well, again, I'm conserving water. That's my whole thing. I don't want James Toney to have a dead lawn or an escalade that's covered with a coat of dust. That's all I'm saying. Together we can knock out the drought. Knock out the drought. There you go. Yeah, there's the PS guy. James Toney, James Chocolate Thunder Count Chocula...

1:08:27 James Toney James Chocolate Thunder, I like that one.

1:08:29 Adam Dark Gable, Tony, Lights Out Tony, is going to be fighting one week from tonight on the Best Damn Sports Show. He's fighting Ry-Dell Booker.

1:08:39 Drew What time is it? 5 o'clock Pacific Time.

1:08:44 Adam In the ring, 5 p.m. 5.03. He should be home, actually.

1:08:49 James Toney I should be home by 5.30.

1:08:51 Drew You're gay.

1:08:53 James Toney If you're done with all the ring announcements and all that, I'm gonna go to work.

1:08:58 Adam Right, right. James lights out Tony an honor to finally meet you and have you on the show.

1:09:03 James Toney Thank you, Adam.

1:09:04 Adam We'll have you back soon when you're fighting Klitschko, perhaps. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Where the hell did the week go, Drew?

1:09:57 Drew Yeah, you're right, it's kind of weird that way, huh?

1:09:58 Adam Well, I'll tell you what it was. By Monday or Tuesday, it was like, oh, when is this week gonna end? And now it's, wait a minute, tomorrow's Friday?

1:10:06 Drew Yeah.

1:10:07 Adam What's up? Yeah. Well, we said-

1:10:09 Drew I got a lot to do between now and like Sunday, and I'm sort of dreading it.

1:10:12 Adam What do you got to do, Drew?

1:10:13 Drew Just a lot of patients and kids running around.

1:10:17 Adam There. Okay, buddy. Find some time for you.

1:10:20 Drew Thank you.

1:10:21 Adam Have Calgon take you away.

1:10:23 Drew Yeah, bubble bath. That'd be good.

1:10:24 Adam Do a little masturbation in the tub. I want to thank James Lights Out, Tony, for coming in here today.

1:10:30 Drew He was an interesting guest.

1:10:31 Adam Yes. I love the guy. He has a great personality and a great boxer, and always entertaining in and out of the ring.

1:10:42 Drew All right.

1:10:42 Adam So I look forward to that fight one week from today, and we'll talk to Leigh, who's 24, Leigh.

1:10:50 Caller Yes.

1:10:52 Adam What's up?

1:10:53 Caller No, I just have this thing whenever I, well, whenever I masturbate, I'll ejaculate, and it's like really watery, almost like urine, but I never have an orgasm.

1:11:06 Adam Oh, really? Yeah. But something will come out of you, and it's not just lubrication, it's not moisture.

1:11:14 Caller Well, and honestly, the first time it happened, I thought that I couldn't control my bladder.

1:11:20 Drew I think that's what is happening.

1:11:22 Caller No, but I investigated, it's not that.

1:11:24 Drew How did you investigate, pray tell?

1:11:27 Caller I checked it. I just, I smelled it, and it's a little sticky.

1:11:32 Caller A little sticky, a little viscous.

1:11:34 Caller It's not, but it's still watery.

1:11:36 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:11:37 Drew Because I would think, how can you, without the muscular contraction of an orgasm, it's hard for there to be anything. I see, so you're sort of squeezing something out just prior to having an orgasm.

1:11:49 Caller But it's a lot.

1:11:50 Drew Yeah, that's you.

1:11:52 Adam And how does it come out? I mean, is it, you know, like wiper sprays, is it like a super soaker or squirt gun? What?

1:12:02 Caller Well, it just kind of comes out. It doesn't squirt.

1:12:05 Adam How come I knew we would never, the answer to that is that it just kind of comes out. But by the way-

1:12:12 Drew It's just Loveline Collar.

1:12:14 Adam You know, it's the radio. Paint a picture with words, everybody. I'm trying to figure out-

1:12:19 Drew Could it be like a urine stream or does it seem like-

1:12:21 Adam No, well, yeah, I don't even know what I'm trying to figure out anymore. But it seems like if it sort of just dribbles out, I could see her doing it without having an orgasm. If it comes sort of blasting out, it seems curious that there's no orgasm.

1:12:36 Drew The other thing is that usually it can come out in like rhythmic pulsations, you know? Is it coming out in repetitive streams or a single stream?

1:12:45 Adam How does it come out, Lee?

1:12:46 Caller It'll come out a little bit at first, and then it'll be a lot.

1:12:50 Adam How? How?

1:12:51 Drew Describe the stream.

1:12:53 Caller It's like why-

1:12:54 Adam The love of Christ, how?

1:12:56 Caller It's like it's like it's peeing, but it's not. Like it's a spray, but it's a weak spray.

1:13:02 Drew Like a stream like urine?

1:13:04 Adam You know, I want to strangle, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to strangle the collars, and then I'm going to strangle myself. Can you kill yourself by strangling yourself, Drew?

1:13:12 Drew I'm sure you can.

1:13:13 Adam I'm going to try. But here's the point. You know, the question is how does it come out? And believe me, I'm not so stupid as to just ask how does it come out, because the answer would be very nicely, thank you. I have to say, is it like a wiper spray? Is it like a squirt gun? What kind of stream does it come out? And of course, first you get, well, a lot comes out.

1:13:34 Drew It just comes out.

1:13:35 Adam It just comes out as answer number one. Number two, a lot comes out, and then a little bit. Really? I just can't, can't do, well, what is that about people, Drew, and how do they not know what you're asking?

1:13:51 Drew My guess, she studied rhetoric in college.

1:13:55 Adam Please tell us how it comes out.

1:13:58 Caller It's a pouring out. It's like if you took a glass of water and then you just poured it out slowly. It just pours out.

1:14:04 Drew So there's not, no sort of rhythmic pulsation. Wow. Yeah, okay, well, there you go.

1:14:09 Adam It pours out.

1:14:10 Drew Yeah, that makes sense. Because when the muscles contract, you can squeeze those glands pretty good and squirt something out.

1:14:16 Adam That's not squirting out, that's pouring out.

1:14:18 Drew Yeah, which is, yeah, that's fine. That makes sense. Are you able to have an orgasm?

1:14:24 Caller I, do I, I'm sorry, what?

1:14:26 Drew Are you able to have an orgasm at all?

1:14:27 Caller No, I've never had one.

1:14:30 Drew That's wild.

1:14:30 Adam You with a guy? You got a boyfriend?

1:14:33 Caller Yes.

1:14:34 Adam Oh, I totally screwed up, Drew. I forgot. Is James, Chris, is James Toney who's left the building? Yeah.

1:14:42 Drew Why?

1:14:43 Adam It's Rosh Hashanah. I was gonna, I meant to wish a guy happy Rosh Hashanah.

1:14:48 Drew He's never gonna speak to a guy. You know how, you know how they, yeah.

1:14:51 Adam It's, you know, it's like one of these things where now, he's in his car, now I remember. I think he was angry.

1:14:57 Drew You get him a young kipper.

1:14:59 Adam Okay, I just, I feel like an idiot. James, if you're listening, buddy.

1:15:05 Drew Happy New Year, James.

1:15:06 Adam Happy Jewish New Year, buddy. Happy, just happy New Year. Yeah, yeah, I mean, just New Year. Happy Rosh Hashanah, I'm sorry. This is so obvious, so stupid. Yeah, I got caught up in the record. I was plugging the fight.

1:15:19 Drew It's just, it's just, yeah. When things are obvious, it's hard to remember.

1:15:22 Adam Is my face red?

1:15:23 Drew Yeah, it should be.

1:15:25 Adam All right, let's get back to the phones and speak to Cheryl. All right, so Lee, nothing wrong with you.

1:15:33 Drew You gotta keep working on things. She should be having orgasms. That's kind of weird that she's not.

1:15:37 Adam All right, wait a minute. Lee? All right, Lee was, Lee was one of these chicks who was, first off, I'm going with Hot Chick, and I'm going with, not as hot as she thinks she is, but Hot Chick, and I don't know quite how to say it. There's certain people out there who think they deserve more than they've earned.

1:16:01 Drew Oh, you think she was that? I didn't get that from her.

1:16:03 Adam Well, no, I just mean a little like, hey, what's going on? Hey, why isn't this happening? Not totally, but a little bit.

1:16:11 Drew I just got sort of underdeveloped.

1:16:13 Adam And the thing about that is for women, if you're pushing, you know what it's like? It's like trying to put a thread through a needle and being in a big hurry and being aggressive about it. It's like you gotta stop, you gotta shake your hands out, you gotta hold it up, you gotta move very slowly, and there's no really forcing it in. Orgasms that way. Yes?

1:16:35 Drew Well said.

1:16:35 Adam And don't go into every sexual encounter thinking tonight's gonna be the night. Just have a wine cooler and relax.

1:16:41 Drew She was using a vibrator, though.

1:16:43 Adam Oh, she was? Cheryl? What's up?

1:16:51 Caller So, I have a problem here.

1:16:59 Drew Well, just we're not using all these alphabets, Sue. It's bacterial vaginosis, which she's talking about.

1:17:06 Adam James and I were gonna do a PSA for BV as well as the drought thing.

1:17:10 Drew Knock out the BV.

1:17:11 Adam Knock out the BV.

1:17:14 Is it?

1:17:14 Drew Lights out on BV.

1:17:16 Adam Who decided, and I know it seems obvious, but every single time they have some athlete, there's a guy from the Dodgers, and they always get these athletes to do these public service announcements, and it's like, hit a home run with your family by, okay, that was cute the first 700 million times we saw it. You know what I mean?

1:17:38 Go ahead and hire a pro.

1:17:39 Adam Let's just go ahead and do something else. We get it. You play professional baseball. And by the way, do you talk that way all the time? Just hittin home runs.

1:17:49 Drew You think I look like a cigarist or Indian.

1:17:51 Adam I know, Cheryl?

1:17:53 Drew Okay.

1:17:53 Caller All right. So, I found out that I have this, and I was just wondering whether or not, you know, what the amount of time or how long I have to wait until I have intercourse again with my partner.

1:18:08 Drew How are you being treated?

1:18:08 Caller Yes.

1:18:10 Drew How are you being treated? How are you being treated?

1:18:16 Caller I had some antibiotics.

1:18:19 Drew Which antibiotics?

1:18:20 Caller God, I don't remember.

1:18:24 Drew Okay, metronidazole?

1:18:26 Caller Yes, exactly.

1:18:27 Drew So, you couldn't drink alcohol while you were on that thing. Well, that'd be a deal breaker. That'd be a deal breaker. You took that for a week. Did your boyfriend take it also?

1:18:34 Caller Actually, no, that was the thing.

1:18:37 Caller I am not really altogether sure whether or not it was him or not.

1:18:42 Drew Well, you're cleared up right away from the antibiotic. I mean, it works very, very quickly. So, you could have sex right away. The problem is, though, if you had been having sex with him, he also could be harboring the bacteria now. You're-

1:18:55 Adam Passing it back and forth.

1:18:56 Drew Yeah, you're supposed to treat him, too, if you've been treated. So, you know, you can go ahead and try to have sex, but he may give it back to you.

1:19:02 Adam I don't, I wouldn't take medication where I couldn't booze.

1:19:06 Drew I know that, I would begin to think of giving you something like that.

1:19:09 Adam Vagina could smell like a compost heap.

1:19:11 Drew Your vagina.

1:19:12 Adam Yeah, my vagina.

1:19:13 Drew Yeah.

1:19:13 Adam And as I learned, I had today, by the way. I didn't know I had a vagina. Then I went to the gym.

1:19:20 Drew Well, you asked me about your period yesterday.

1:19:22 Adam I saw James Toney sparring and I got scared. And I was not feeling 100% Drew, as you know. As you know, I'd complained to you.

1:19:30 Drew You have dysmenorrhea.

1:19:31 Adam I have something. Yeah, I think my cervix is tilted actually.

1:19:36 James Toney Yeah.

1:19:36 Drew Your pansy. Uterus.

1:19:38 Adam Uterus. Yeah, it's on. It's a Kimbo. It's a-

1:19:41 Drew John.

1:19:42 Adam Yeah, John.

1:19:42 Drew 16.

1:19:43 Yeah, hi, how are you?

1:19:44 Adam What's up?

1:19:46 I am Jewish. I'm actually calling because you guys just brought up Rosh Hashanah, but in Judaism, in the Torah, it says you're not allowed to waste semen.

1:19:58 Drew What exactly does it say?

1:20:01 I don't know the exact words, but it says not allowed.

1:20:03 Adam What's the Torah? Is that the old test of it?

1:20:04 Drew Basically, yeah.

1:20:05 Caller Yeah, you're not allowed to waste semen or sperm, which means no masturbation.

1:20:09 Drew Isn't it something of the effect of it can't be spilled on the ground or something?

1:20:13 Caller No, it's just you can't waste it, like, you know.

1:20:16 Drew You might want to look it up, just so you can stay consistent with your faith. Anyway.

1:20:21 Adam There you go.

1:20:22 Caller So, unless my intent is to have a baby, which it's not.

1:20:26 Drew No, and John, what's the plan here? Cause God takes it out of you during the night and it gets wasted that way if you don't take it out of yourself.

1:20:32 Adam Well, but no, but he'll pass over your house. Drew, what's that one called? Passes over the kid and doesn't give him a wet dream.

1:20:42 Drew Oh no, we have to put the sperm of the lamb out in front of the house.

1:20:44 Adam You put the sperm of the lamb out on the front door and that's, God passes over. It all makes perfect sense. It really does. Yeah, anyway, John.

1:20:53 Caller Well, I don't know. I guess I'm this summer taking my religion a little more seriously. I don't know, cause I don't think it's really practical.

1:21:03 Adam So, well, you're a virgin, right?

1:21:05 Caller Yeah.

1:21:06 Drew It's not possible, John. Seriously, as a physician, you will have nocturnal emissions.

1:21:11 Caller No, I understand that, but I guess it's more like the intent.

1:21:14 Drew Okay, all right.

1:21:15 Adam Well, if you think of unattractive women, I think God's easier on you, you know?

1:21:23 Drew But what's your question? What is your question exactly?

1:21:25 Caller I just want to know what you guys think I should do.

1:21:29 Drew I mean, should you follow the letter of your faith?

1:21:33 Adam I think you beat yourself to a pulp, and I'll see you in hell. Well, listen, John, here's the problem with all this nonsense.

1:21:45 Drew Well, wait a minute. All right. Think about it.

1:21:48 Adam Look, I love the Jews. God bless the Jews. They have a comically novel religion, but it keeps the kids together, and the family, everything works out.

1:21:59 Drew That point was actually made very clearly in Salad Park the other day when they were talking about Mormonism, is that these things work for people, and they keep them focused in a way. So let's not disparage these things just because they...

1:22:10 Adam And then here's what I want to say. If you're gonna be devout, and you're going to adhere to the tenets of your religion, then no beating off.

1:22:19 Drew No beating off.

1:22:20 Adam Now, that's a thing.

1:22:21 Drew But from our standpoint, we don't see what you get out of that. Maybe you wanna...

1:22:26 Adam But let me just say this. Let me just say this, all you nutjobs with your crazy religion. If that's what you are, I mean, if you're Muslim, if you're Christian, if you're Jewish, whatever you are, born again, whatever, or a Jehovah's Witness, whatever it is, you picked your kooky religion, that's your religion, feel free to follow it to the letter of the law, and enjoy, and then shut up. That's it, that's your thing, then do it, and shut up. Go read the kooky cookbook, whatever your religion espouses, and then follow it to the letter of the law, and I'll be enjoying myself. That's what I'm saying. But follow it, you gotta follow it, it's your religion, you cannot pick and choose the good stuff you like, it's not a religion buffet.

1:23:12 Drew But I think things are sort of open to interpretation, and you can kind of share that kind of thing.

1:23:17 Adam Of course, you swing it in your direction. Let me tell you this though. I was, I was somewhere, I was down like the Fairfax area today.

1:23:31 Drew Little Ethiopia?

1:23:33 Adam No, it was little Jerusalem. And I was down there, it's still like the Hasidic Jew part of town. And actually-

1:23:42 Drew There is a little Ethiopia sign as you go down Fairfax. Fairfax, right?

1:23:45 Adam Yeah.

1:23:46 Drew Between here and the part you're talking about.

1:23:47 Adam Yeah.

1:23:48 Drew All right, so go ahead.

1:23:49 Adam And by the way, do we really wanna live in a city with no little Italy and a little Ethiopia?

1:23:55 Drew Los Angeles, yeah.

1:23:56 Adam And by the way, it shouldn't be little Ethiopia, it should be tiny Ethiopia. You're right. Because there's three doors and it's just a bunch of flies. It's a mess, this place. But okay, here's the point. I'm down at where the Hasidim are chilling and the Jews are there and their families and they're all Hasidic Jews. And I see this kid, he's like eight and he's got this dew where his head is basically shaved to the point, you know, marine haircut, short, you know, buzz cut on the top part. And then he's got, it's real long on the side because he's got the peyos, you know. And he's wearing the, you know, he's nine years old, he's wearing a black suit and a black top hat. And I thought, no, not child abuse. At what point do we start calling this child abuse, by the way? Look, my kid gets some secondhand smoke, he's going to be taken out of the house. You shave your kid's head and dress him like, like he's in the mafia and fill his head with a bunch of retarded crap. And he's got his, he's got his, you know, curls hanging down past the job. I'm sure he's getting his ass kicked at school every other day. What, no, no, no, that's good. That's a good thing. Can't say anything about that. That's fine. We're essentially indoctrinating him into a cult. Is there a big difference between that and a cult? What's the big difference, by the way?

1:25:17 Drew No leader.

1:25:17 Adam It's one thing.

1:25:18 Drew No guy having sex with a woman.

1:25:20 Adam It's one thing to have, have your religion, have your faith, find, believe what you gotta do, whatever keeps you sane, I understand. But, you know, when you're shaving the kid's head and putting him in a crazy outfit and he's spending, you know, not plugging anything in on a Saturday and spending X amount of hours a day, you know, kneel down, facing MacGyre, wherever the hell you're going, whatever your nutty religion is. But that's a cult. That kid is being indoctrinated into a cult. That's it. And by the way, what is, by the way, all cults are, they're upstart religions that just don't get enough momentum. I don't know, take a look at them in a hundred years. Maybe they'll be a religion. What the hell did all this stuff start as? Started, you know, a few thousand years ago, they're five people, I'm sure it was called a cult. All right, anyway. A happy Rosh Hashanah, I say. And no disrespect, I love the Jews. I think as far as kooky religions, they got the number one one, because the families stay together, everyone loves each other, and they, you know, push everyone through college, and they do right, you know what I'm saying? That's fine. They don't blow anything up. That's why they try to defend themselves. Anderson, what is that phone ringing?

1:26:33 Caller Anticipation of the calls. We'll be getting them tomorrow.

1:26:36 Adam Oh, okay. All right. We'll take a... No, I love the juice. I'm like an honorary Jew.

1:26:42 Caller Oh, you are. Oh, yeah.

1:26:44 Adam We'll take a quick break.

1:26:46 Caller I'm a Jew.

1:26:47 Adam And we'll be right back after this.

1:26:49 Caller Hello, this is your Radio Radio.

1:27:37 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam Nets. The good doctor, Dr. Drew. Ooh, uh-huh. Oh, yeah. All right. Hey, next week, I think we're going to have Sarah Silverman on the show. A delight.

1:27:53 Drew Dean Cain.

1:27:54 Adam Beautiful. Dean Cain. By the way, Dean Cain, one of the nicest, genuinely nice guys you'll ever meet. Friendly as hell.

1:28:03 Caller Yeah. Hey, Corolla. Speaking of Sarah Silverman, I saw a promo for her today in LA Weekly, I think. She had a Hitler mustache.

1:28:13 Adam Oh, really?

1:28:14 Caller What was she doing? The name of her show is like Jesus is Magical, I think.

1:28:18 Adam Jesus is Magic, I think. Yeah.

1:28:20 Caller Jesus is Magic. She's just standing there with a Hitler mustache. It's like a good picture of her, but she's got the Hitler mustache.

1:28:25 Drew Is this a stand-up thing she's doing?

1:28:27 Caller Yeah, I think it's like a live show.

1:28:29 Drew We will hear about it next week.

1:28:32 Adam I was talking, thank you Anderson. I was talking about that a couple of weeks ago, that if all the footage I see, all the World War II footage, all the footage of all the German guys and everything, foot soldiers, generals, everybody, all I do is go home and watch the History Channel. I get drunk and I think we got to bomb Germany again. That's what I do. I sit there with my bottle of red wine, and they're like, and then they march 6 million Jews to the camp. We're not done with you. We're coming after you, German.

1:29:02 Caller We're going to give you a good one.

1:29:04 Adam So the point is, I said, all the footage I've never seen, never seen a guy with a Hitler mustache but Hitler. Right. Until a few weeks ago when I did see an infantryman with that Hitler mustache and I thought, what abuse he must have taken for the rest of the guys in the regiment. Hey, Colonel Kiss Ass over here. Nice. He's trying to do that thing where he's going, hey, what do you mean? I had the Hitler, I was sporting the Hitler mustache a long time. This is way before Treaty of Versailles, way before. Come on now. Go look at my high school yearbook. I'll show you that it's in there. Junior year over at the helmet high. I had the Hitler mustache. Hitler got it from me. Besides, I think it looks good. By the way, I just realized people said, well, maybe it was a slap in the face to the Fuhrer to sport the mustache. It never is.

1:30:05 Drew It's always a compliment.

1:30:07 Adam Nehru put on a Nehru jacket and so did all of India. You know what I'm saying?

1:30:12 Drew Yeah.

1:30:12 Adam You do that. Jackie Kennedy put the pill box hat on and so did all of the women in the 60s. You know what I'm saying? People go for the haircut, they go for the look, they go for the suits that their beloved leaders had.

1:30:26 Drew What you're saying is that this one was so wacky.

1:30:28 Adam Hitler's stash was so f'd up that people wouldn't even go for it. He would probably, imagine probably talking to some of his generals like, hey, how's the stash? Yeah, it's just not coming in. Wife made me shave it. Probably could have scored some points if you would have gone for the Hitler mustache.

1:30:48 Drew Now, the other thing, that was a period of history where clean shaving was routine, right? People did not have facial hair.

1:30:55 Adam Yeah.

1:30:56 Drew Think about it back then, everyone.

1:30:57 Adam It was especially in that part of the country, but the world I should say. But also here, yeah, you didn't see guys in the-

1:31:06 Drew Certainly not with the handlebar mustache.

1:31:07 Adam Late 30s, early 40s with the stash of the beard. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe, by the way, it was even a regulation in the military that you couldn't have facial hair. But-

1:31:20 Drew That sounds dramatic, right?

1:31:22 Adam Hitler had that soul patch on top of his lip and I saw a guy riding in a half track. I Tivo'd it and ran it back six times. Hitler mustache. Yeah. That's the way I labeled it.

1:31:33 Drew How would you shave that anyway? Do you just go to the edges and that's it?

1:31:37 Adam Had he shaved Hitler's mustache?

1:31:38 Drew How do you shave it?

1:31:40 Adam Very carefully. How do you grow it in? I don't know. I'm going to work on one. Or we'll ask Sarah Silverman. I don't think he did anything in the middle. Well, Sarah Silverman will come on next week. We'll ask her how she grew in that Hitler's mustache. Good. And Rich Eisen's going to be in here from the NFL Network. Very good sportscaster next week as well. Steve?

1:32:00 Yeah.

1:32:00 Adam You're 28?

1:32:02 Caller Yes.

1:32:03 Adam What's up?

1:32:05 Caller Yes. I've been dating a stripper for about a year and a half. And we've been living together. We moved from Arkansas to Arizona back in January.

1:32:16 Drew For her career?

1:32:18 Caller No, no, no, no. Actually, I got her into stripping because my whole family is in it. My younger brother's wife is a stripper. My older brother has his own mail review.

1:32:34 Caller All right.

1:32:35 Adam Do you do any stripping yourself, Steve?

1:32:38 Caller Yeah, I'm going to start stripping here pretty soon, about a month, as soon as I get my abs in. Yeesh.

1:32:44 Adam Yeah. So you've got to get in shape, right?

1:32:48 Caller Well, yeah. All I've got to do is get my abs in. I don't want to look stupid or anything.

1:32:59 Adam No, you know, the last thing you want is to go out there with the love handles, maybe a big zit on your back.

1:33:06 Drew The whole family is stripping. It's wild.

1:33:07 Caller Yeah, well, the thing about it is, me and my older brother, we don't do steroids. It's all natural. We just, you know...

1:33:15 Adam Yeah, I know. A lot of the strippers these days are on the juice.

1:33:18 Drew What is your question?

1:33:20 Caller My question is, I'm thinking my girlfriend is cheating on me because whenever she first started stripping, back in like February, she took a guy home and stayed the night with him and everything else. And I haven't trusted her ever since. And...

1:33:41 Drew She's not cheating. How dare he?

1:33:42 Adam Stripper takes a guy home.

1:33:43 Drew It spends the night.

1:33:45 Adam From the club?

1:33:46 Caller Yeah, a DJ.

1:33:48 James Toney Oh.

1:33:49 Caller Because he needed a ride home. And I told her, and the thing about it is...

1:33:54 Adam He needed a ride home.

1:33:55 Drew Is she doing drugs?

1:33:59 James Toney Back at Steve's girlfriend.

1:34:01 Adam This is man's lunch. Some goes, some blows. Tammy, stage four, stage four.

1:34:08 Drew Is she getting involved with drugs, Steve?

1:34:11 Caller No, she's never done drugs or anything in her life.

1:34:15 Adam Steve...

1:34:17 Drew Sorry.

1:34:17 Adam We're short on time.

1:34:19 Caller Not a good situation.

1:34:21 Caller They've cheated.

1:34:22 Adam Oh, that DJ, he needed a ride home. You see what I'm talking about?

1:34:25 Caller Alright, alright.

1:34:26 Adam I don't know what to say. You're dating a stripper or you're married to a stripper, your family strips. It's a rich tradition. Alright.

1:34:33 Drew Bad boundary situation. That's why these things don't tend to work out.

1:34:37 Caller Right. Alright.

1:34:37 Adam You date a stripper, you get cheated on. Yeah. Alright. You date an accountant, she does your taxes. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Alright, guys.

1:34:46 Caller Here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:34:50 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:34:52 Caller Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

1:34:55 Caller Call the Dateline. 1-800-CALL-UP-LINE.

1:35:23 Adam Well, that's the show, everybody. Thanks for tuning in. I want to thank James, Lights Out, Dark Gable, Tony for coming in here, snorting into the microphone. He's going to fight one week from today on Thursday, Best San Sports Show, about 5 o'clock. And find a guy, 2210. So it'll be always a good show. So check that out. I want to thank engineer Anderson for doing a fabulous job back from Betty Ford. I want to thank, who else do we thank? Brian for doing a great job on the phones all week long. Engineer Chris, producer Ann, and of course junior, just junior, just one junior producer, Lauren for doing a whale of a job. Except for she should have put James Toney's actual record on this cheat sheet.

1:36:15 Drew She assumed you knew it, I think.

1:36:17 Caller She's coming, coming, all right.

1:36:18 Adam So until next, well, she assumed I know his name too, but I got to sit at the top. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:26 James Toney I'm a veteran, see this is when they call me Dark Gable.

1:36:33 Caller This has been Love Line. Opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, September 16, 2004