Episode 1000638217469

0:52 Drew See time But I'm amazed it caught my eye at all, because the Maseratis at the car show were like, oh, fat.

1:10 Voiceover Loveline has been through an adult audience. Convertible?

1:11 Loveline may contain sexual intercourse with sex.

1:11 You saw it out of your car driving by.

1:11 Adam Yeah, yeah. All right, you're looking the same car. You're looking the same when you didn't like shot of it. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Oh, I just drove in tonight from Monterey.

1:34 Drew Oh my God, you drove, you didn't fly.

1:39 Adam No, yeah. Got, was it the Pebble Beach show? The Dr. Drew Board Certified Position, Dismas Beva, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1? All right, yeah. Oh, Pebble Beach, Pebble Beach. For those of you who are listening from around the country, California's got some good spots, got some bad spots. Pebble Beach and the Carmel Valley in that area, it's spectacular, that coastline, spectacular.

2:06 Drew Why did we set up this city here and not there? That's the amazing thing.

2:09 Adam I don't know, it had to do with the port.

2:12 Drew Yeah.

2:13 Adam That's about as good as I can tell. I think it was the railroad, the port and the Lakers. I'm pretty sure the Lakers were here when we got here. I'm pretty sure.

2:22 Drew And I think with the Rams, yes, got set up there.

2:25 Adam The Rams had come a little bit later, but when the earliest settlers came here and they went through the Donner Pass and they came here, I don't know, it's been like 1821 or something, there were five huge black men just standing there.

2:39 Drew They thought about establishing a new religion or a professional basketball team, add to basketball.

2:44 Adam We've been playing on this godforsaken earth. Please put some hardwood down for us and put a roof over it and call it to form. And then Chick Hearns showed up and he was already old. And he already had a comb over. And he was already, I already set a record for consecutive games. Wow, already? Yeah, Pebble Beach, Monterey, oh my God. You know, all I did is drive around Monterey. Monterey is just a picturesque rugged coastline, Pacific Ocean, all that stuff, big oak trees everywhere. And all I did was drive around and pass schools. There's schools, you see.

3:19 Drew Colleges schools?

3:20 Adam No, no, schools, regular schools. Yeah, junior highs and high schools. When you have a community and there's a few thousand people living in it, maybe, I don't know, 80,000 people or however many live there, you gotta have four or five high schools. And I would just drive around, you know, in this incredible real estate and go, hey, look at that. And it'd be, that's a high school. And it'd be like, yeah, could you imagine going to high school there? In a way, I think you'd be too sane. Well, in fact, it would screw you up somehow.

3:50 Drew I always satisfy myself by thinking, hey, who of any significant ever came from schools like this? You gotta have the hard knocks to sort of motivate. Otherwise, you just set up camp there.

3:59 Adam These are just happy, adjusted people who are sliding under your radar, Drew. They're not Madonna's and all the other nutballs that are acting out because they had such a horrible childhood and they grew up in Detroit. They're just, they grew up healthy. They start families and then they have healthy kids. But man, the Concourse, the biggest car show in the world, really, and I shouldn't call it a car show, but event. It's not a car show. Well, it is a car show, but it's not fair to call it, as the grandfather of all these car shows. I mean, there's millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars worth of cars at these things. I mean, there's Ferraris that are worth 13, 15 million bucks, and there's one after the other, and you haven't even seen these ones before. Models you haven't seen. Crazy. Oh, Rolls Royces and Bentleys. I mean, when you go tour the grounds, there's $100 million worth of cars there. It is crazy. And, you know, a lot of people get into collecting stuff then, oh, well, what car is worth $10 million? Well, what stamp's worth it? What baseball's worth it? What piece of canvas with some oil paint spread on is worth this? At least when you go look at one of these Bentleys or Rolls Royces or Lincolns from the 20s or Duesenberg or something, your jaw hangs open. I mean, the workmanship, the craftsmanship, the machinery, credible stuff. I mean, you just stare at it. Even if it's a car, I don't like Duesenbergs, but I'm just staring at this Duesenberg going, oh, this is the most magnificent thing made of metal I've ever seen. It's really, it's spectacular.

5:38 Drew Those big exhaust tubes coming up the side. Oh, yeah.

5:41 Adam Yeah, they had the flex exhaust pipes and superchargers and stuff. And then it's just filthy, rich people. Just white, rich people getting drunk.

5:50 Drew You must have felt right at home with all the other literally rich people.

5:54 Adam Literally a millionaire myself, but these guys are taking $12 million Ferraris and putting them on the track and going hard and cracking them up. You listening to this, Drew? By the way, if you had something that was worth more than eight bucks, it would be hermetically sealed, buried in your backyard, and you'd have some flunkies standing over it with a flashlight.

6:17 Drew Yes.

6:18 Adam Yes, these are $12, $13 million cars, guys getting out there, driving them hard, trading paint, pounding them. Guy told the Ferrari GTO, that $13 million car. They drive them. They're meant to be driven. That's the announcement the guys make. No, they go out and race at Laguna Seca. Oh, what a weekend. If you like cars, don't go there, actually, because it's getting a little crowded. All right, but anyway, filthy rich people, and let me say something else, too. Contrary to what my parents tried to ram up, and I took I, growing up. Rich people, not inherently mean. They're actually, can be nice. They got a lot of extra stuff, they don't get weird.

6:59 Drew What do they have to be mean about?

7:00 Adam Let me tell you something. Poor people, the guys that freak on you. Hey, turn on the TV, see the guy who got stabbed because he borrowed a guy's ratchet set and didn't return it. That ain't rich guy stuff. That's poor guy stuff, because the ratchet set, even though it's only worth $86, is one quarter of the guy's gross income.

7:19 Drew When you're under stress, you're more likely to be aggressive.

7:21 Adam And when you don't have anything, it's a big deal.

7:24 Drew And you're acting out, yeah, you're angry.

7:26 Adam I'm just saying, you go buy some Flunky's place, try to get a beer and a cigarette from him, he's gonna tell you to f off. Go ask a rich guy for a beer, there you go, take six back. What's he care? Cost a penny of beer for him. Let's say lots of guys sitting around toasting, and yeah, come on up, sit on down, crack something. I've just drunk the entire weekend, Drew. I'm not ashamed to say it. All right, you ready to rock? Were you gonna say something?

7:50 Drew No.

7:51 Adam No?

7:51 Drew Of course not.

7:52 Adam No, you had something to say, but I cut you off.

7:54 Drew Well, I was gonna say how I saw Chris physically recoil. I think it's about an ass full of your literally millionaire comments. He literally, he looked physically uncomfortable.

8:02 Adam Yeah, literally.

8:03 I'm fine, that's great.

8:04 Adam You're all right? All right, 10 bucks an hour.

8:07 Drew He reacted.

8:07 Adam How many hours would he have to work at $10 an hour to be literally a millionaire?

8:12 A million, roughly, yeah.

8:14 Drew By the time taxes are paid.

8:15 Adam It's that junior college coming through.

8:19 Drew Maybe two million.

8:21 Adam Tony? You're 17? Yeah. You're a chick. Yeah.

8:29 Drew Tony, here we go.

8:30 Adam Here we go now.

8:32 Drew Tony?

8:33 Adam Did she hang up? All right, here we go. Let's get started now. Let's break it down. Let's get a hand in it. All right, is her phone bad? Is that what's going on?

8:44 Drew Oh, not again, Chris.

8:46 Adam Daisy?

8:47 Yeah.

8:47 Adam You're 15?

8:48 Caller Yeah.

8:49 Adam Here we go, what's your question?

8:51 Caller Well, yeah, I've lost like about 30, 20 pounds.

8:55 Drew 30, 20.

8:55 Adam 30, 20, all right.

8:58 Caller Yeah, and well, my boobs have been, you know, they look saggy.

9:03 Drew What do you weigh now? What did you weigh go from two?

9:09 Caller I weighed like about 880, and I weighed like 144.

9:13 Drew Okay, interesting. Well, there are procedures that can be done much, much later if you need it, but I think this will sort of take care of itself. You're a little young right now, things will sort of move around a bit. Get exercising, get your tone up, keep the diet healthy.

9:28 Adam Let's go, let's break it down. Let's go, stop blaming your parents. Let's go, let's get to work now.

9:33 Drew That's good, Daisy. Take care to break your sweat. That's excellent. Just keep it up. The sagginess, don't worry about right now. Things may take care of themselves. If not, and you're 18 to 20, you wanna do something, there are things that can be done.

9:43 Adam How did you lose the weight?

9:47 Caller Oh, I started eating better and exercising my ass off.

9:51 Adam All right, literally. All right, Daisy. Good times there, baby.

9:56 Drew Literally exercised her ass off.

9:58 Adam That's right, she didn't start smoking, she didn't do any speech, she didn't start vomiting, she just ate a little better, did some exercise.

10:04 Drew There you go.

10:05 Adam Oh my God, did I eat like a free food everywhere.

10:08 Drew Really?

10:08 Adam Went like a mad man. I got that same thing with you. You got that thing where you got the free food.

10:13 Drew You saw me eat on Thursday, I was hungry.

10:14 Adam Yeah, it was free food, you go sick. Yeah, it was weird. You get that weird thing.

10:19 Drew You got it worse, you actually have it worse than I do. I just got hungry.

10:22 Adam You're a man of passion, you're a passionate man. Exquisitely passionate.

10:26 Drew You get that with food plus the free thing.

10:29 Adam Yeah, I cannot pass free food and not get in on it because it's just, it's free. It's not gonna be out here again. You gotta get in. You gotta make hay while the sun shines, Drew. Are we talking to Tony again?

10:41 Drew Let's try, Tony?

10:43 Yeah.

10:43 Drew There we go.

10:45 Okay, there's a rumor going around that if you're on the depth of bearer shot that your vagina hole is tighter because this one girl at my school is known by the guys and she said since she's been with her boyfriend and on the shot she's been tighter.

11:01 Drew Well, she's known that the vagina hole.

11:04 Adam I wonder how Tony's brain lump did with her vagina hole. I mean, she must have been listening to somebody.

11:12 Drew Yeah. Oh, Tony.

11:14 Adam The vagina hole, no.

11:16 Drew No, yeah, it makes it drier and so it seems tighter. Yeah, so it may seem tighter but it does not change things significantly. I guess there could be a decrease in suppleness also because when estrogen is deficient and progesterone is up but for the most part, it's not gonna make any difference and for that matter, stop thinking about those kinds of things. They don't mean anything to any guy on earth.

11:41 Adam Hey, Tony?

11:42 Drew Except.

11:43 Adam All right, that line is good. All right, dad smoking pot, McCann smoking pot. All right, someone's getting to the business. Matt? What's happening, Matt?

11:55 Caller I need a break, Adam.

11:57 Drew You need a what?

11:59 Caller I need a break. I'm an aspiring comedy writer and I can't get anyone to give me a break. I'm working my ass off here, trying to get somebody to read my stuff, trying to get somebody to produce my stuff, trying to get an agent to sell my stuff and nothing's happening. I don't want you to give me a break like Jimmy gave you a break.

12:17 Adam Mm-hmm. Well, okay. Well, first off, Jimmy was just doing the local sports and he wasn't a big star like I am.

12:29 Caller Yeah, I didn't mean to laugh at that.

12:31 Adam And then secondly, Jimmy liked me.

12:35 Drew So, you don't like Mazler, you're saying?

12:37 Adam Well, I'm not saying I wouldn't if I got to know him, but I'm not, so I don't.

12:41 Drew Right.

12:41 Adam Now, what kind of comedy do you write, man?

12:46 Caller I don't know. I work with this other guy's name, Hollis, and we've been writing a lot of sitcom proposals and stuff like that.

12:56 Adam All right, well give me a pitch, and then I'm gonna give you guys my pitch. Go ahead.

13:03 Caller Uh-uh, you don't want to pitch it.

13:07 Adam All right, hold on a second. Meanwhile, I'm gonna pitch my new action movie. Came up with it when I was drunk on Pebble Beach today. I was-

13:17 Drew We had a coffee and donuts.

13:19 Adam Oh.

13:19 Drew Remember that one? That was a good movie.

13:21 Adam Yeah, that's a good action. Good action, that's a good action movie. Yeah, coffee is Charles Coffee III. He's very uptight. He's a cop, but he goes by the book.

13:29 Drew That's right.

13:30 Adam And-

13:30 Drew White shirt, thin striped tie.

13:32 Adam That's Charles Coffee III. And then there's donuts. That's Gianni Donetti. Guess whose rules he plays by?

13:39 Drew His own rules.

13:40 Adam That's right. That's right. Plays by his own rules. And they go out and the other guy tells him, he eats a corn dog, and the other guy has to tell him what's in it. Because it's kind of a health food. Yeah, they're on stakeout.

13:53 Drew And yet Donetti always kind of starts skiing hutch like.

13:56 Adam Turns out to be a decent guy.

13:57 Drew Not just decent guy, but always pulls, by being in a hole, pulls things out in an important way.

14:03 Adam Yeah, but I'll tell you, they're a real unlikely pair. You know what I mean?

14:07 Drew Oh, shock. Wow, what a crazy brand new twist on the.

14:13 Adam Well, that's coffee and donuts, yeah. But the idea I came up with today. Like I said, Drew could just.

14:19 Drew As you're driving home from Monterey?

14:20 Adam Do you want one of those hollowed out wooden fish to drag a pencil across and just sit still for a second? Just to start thumping stuff. You really need something to play. You know what you need, Drew? You need some adult version of those toddler games where they take the wine thing and they put the little square in the square and the round and the peg.

14:40 Drew If you'd allow me, listen. If you, like, look, here, give me the pen.

14:43 Adam Just relax.

14:44 Drew If you would allow, look, I do, I do.

14:46 Adam You can do that.

14:47 Drew I started doing it.

14:48 Adam You start something. This is your reaction to it. No, Drew, you get ahold of a pen and you start going.

14:54 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

14:55 Adam Like we're trapped in a vault and you're trying to give some Morse code or something. And by the way, how does that Morse code work? You know, I'm watching those movies like this, like. He's in a vault.

15:06 Drew With another SOS. Go get help. SOS, long, long, long, short, short, short.

15:10 Adam Yeah, but no, but these guys communicate. They have a whole conversation.

15:15 Drew It's an alphabet.

15:16 Adam I know it's an alphabet, but you do, you do it like in the movies, the guy's like. Okay, he's in a vault. There's only 20 minutes of air left. CO2 levels are dangerously high. He needs you to get help.

15:29 Drew Tell his wife he loves him.

15:30 Adam Tell his wife he loves him. Okay, wait a minute. There's a denim. He says that in the drawer of his desk, that there's a key. It's like, he did three and a half taps. All I'm saying about this is you guys are lucky we don't know anything about this because if we did, we'd be pissed. All right, Drew, here's my idea. Chris, are you listening?

15:51 Drew Oh yeah, well, he's thrilled.

15:53 Adam I'm on Pebble Beach.

15:54 Yeah.

15:55 Adam I'm at the concourse today. Like I said, I don't know. Get on the computer, Chris. Put on the Pebble Beach there. Pebble Beach? Yeah, there's gotta be, there must be, there may be $100 million worth of cars out there. Maybe more, maybe more. All right, Submarine Surfaces, right in the bay. It's a beautiful bay, beautiful bay. No, no, it's an old Soviet nuclear class submarine that's been bought cheaply on the black market and commandeered.

16:25 Drew Oof.

16:26 Adam They've removed all the torpedoes and stuff and all the missiles and everything, but it can hold like 22 cars now. Perfect. Comes on top. First guy, first guy.

16:36 Drew The front cone opens up.

16:37 Adam Cone opens, cone opens. Guy, you know, and it got that guy with the crazy accent, he's good looking, he has long hair, you know. They take the 50 millimeter, start spraying all the gentry. People dress in period garb, bottles of Cristal. Well, they dress, sometimes they do dress that way.

16:55 Drew Actually make it look like fat rich guys.

16:56 Adam Fat rich guys, whitey, sprayed, champagne going everywhere. And he does that thing where he goes, I hope I've got your attention now. You know, weird things, like very, he's very understated and everything. All right, my guy could be me, could be Steven Seagal or something.

17:14 Drew Denedy.

17:15 Adam Well, no, no, no, no, that's a different, I'm pitching a movie here.

17:18 Drew Oh, I'm sorry.

17:19 Adam You brought up Coffee and Donuts, you idiot.

17:21 Drew Well, but I'm in a Denedy-like character, some guy.

17:22 Adam No, no, this guy, this guy's, he's been drummed out of the service, not because he didn't get the job done, because he punched out a superior officer when he left some men behind.

17:32 Drew Played by his own rules.

17:33 Adam Tried to cover it up, tried to make his own, yeah, played by his own rules, wasn't scared to stand up, he had good men that he left behind.

17:39 Drew He was framed for a crime he didn't commit.

17:40 Adam That's right, drummed out of the military, but you know.

17:43 Drew Tried to save his.

17:43 Adam This guy was SEALs and Green Beret and Special Forces. Nobody better.

17:47 Drew Tried to save his men, but disobeyed an officer in the course of.

17:51 Adam Now, he's dressed in a old turn of the century, well, make it 20s kind of chauffeur outfit, and he's been demoted to just dusting like a Bentley, you know, he's got the dust thing on there and everything, but he sees what's going on. Loves cars, but sees what's going on. These guys take these multi-million dollar cars and they start loading them onto the thing. They're taking them to foreign markets.

18:19 Drew But what motivates him is a bullet hits of one of his favorite cars you've seen foreboding. Now he's done it. Now you've done it.

18:26 Adam See his reflection in the cracked rear view mirror. Oh yeah, very symbolic, very symbolic.

18:31 Drew This car means something.

18:32 Adam Stows away in the car as they load them onto the submarine. Yeah. That's as far as I got.

18:40 Drew Antics ensue.

18:40 Adam Yeah.

18:41 Drew Is it comedy or reaction?

18:43 Adam I didn't get any further. I saw Jane Leto and I hid. No, it's action.

18:48 Drew No comedy.

18:49 Adam Oh, what's funny about cars being stolen. This is very serious. Now it's out there and he's on the sub. Interesting, stowed away in a Duesenberg, yeah. Yeah, and they're going to some Arab country to sell them to like a Sultan of Brunei or something.

19:10 Drew Nice.

19:10 Adam Yeah, yeah, he's in the trunk. Oh, yeah, oh, action ensues. It's very exciting.

19:17 Drew Moved.

19:17 Adam Yeah, it's powerful stuff.

19:19 Drew I'm waiting.

19:19 Adam Powerful stuff.

19:20 Drew Now let's hear a pitch.

19:21 Adam All right. Matt.

19:23 Caller Hey.

19:24 Adam All right, you have a sitcom idea you wanna pitch us?

19:27 Caller Yeah, I do. Now this one, it was already sort of pitched to the person that was supposed to start it and he said no way. But I'll give it to you anyway, because I think it's pretty good. So it's called Charles Grodin Celebrity Lawyer. So here's my log line. Every day celebrities live in fear. Fear that one day the lifestyle they work so hard for will come to a crashing halt. And there's one who dares to uphold the special rights of all celebrities, and that's Charles Grodin Celebrity Lawyer. All right, and so basically it's about Charles Grodin. You know, he's a little distraught with the loss of his television show and the discontinued association with the Beethoven movie.

20:06 Adam Right, yeah, and so he turns to law. So this is about the real Charles Grodin?

20:12 Caller Well, no, it's sort of loosely based, right? So he's lost direction and he's rummaging through his attic. You know, and what is-

20:19 Drew Finds his law degree. Finds his JD up there in the attic.

20:23 Caller Yeah, exactly. And then later that day, he's sort of just a chance meeting. He runs into a fellow celebrity who's framed for shoplifting and that's how it all starts.

20:32 Adam Well, let me say this, Matt, and everybody's listening out there as far as ideas go. It's really the execution. I mean, we get this all the time, you know, man show idea or Loveline or something like that. It's just really how they're done. Either they're executed well. If you really think of any 99% of the TV concepts on, you know, it's like, oh, I wish I'd thought of The Sopranos. Oh, you wish you just thought of an hour long drama that took place in New Jersey that involved the mafia. They've done a thousand of them. They're never any good. They usually, they star Andrew Stevens and they suck. This is good because you have really talented people writing it, really talented people casting it and it's shot. You know, I mean, really, if you think about, think about the success of The Sopranos. It's only because of the quality of The Sopranos. Other than that, it's a soap opera that takes place on, you know, HBO or any show you like. Whatever it is, it's really the execution of it. Once in a blue moon, and I say 99%, I leave the 1% for Jeopardy. Somebody came up with a good idea for a game show where you say the answer and the person provides the question. Once in a while something like that happens. Other than that, it's just pure execution and shows like Survivor around because they're done well. Everyone's like, oh, the idea, the idea, the idea. They get so caught up in the idea. It's all about the execution. Yes, see, look at this show now. Drew sits there and goes.

22:03 Drew Mm-hmm, that's a perfect evidence of execution.

22:06 Adam Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and I couldn't get another guy to do that. I mean, there's no way a guy like Chris, let's try it. Let's just recreate it, all right? I'll go on my jag, you play Dr. Drew's part, and I'm gonna prove to you that it can't be done with an amateur, okay. It's all about the execution. Yeah, I mean, look at The Sopranos, it's a great cast, it's great writing, it's brilliantly produced and executed. No, not even close. I saw your mouth. A lot of flexion.

22:36 Drew I can't talk.

22:36 Adam I saw your mouth open.

22:37 Drew And it moved.

22:38 Adam Yeah, it moved, something came out of it. Put it back in.

22:41 Drew Close your lips and go, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

22:42 Adam Go get whatever came out of your mouth and put it back in. Yeah, that was nothing like Drew. Do you see Drew? He was staring off into space. His lips were pursed. He looked sort of disinterested. All right, but keep your lips closed this time and don't look at me. But look distracted. Or as a matter of fact, if you could read.

22:57 Drew I gotta get a pen, hold on. See how you can't function if I don't do my job, Adam? When he looks at you, you can't do it.

23:03 Adam Do me a favor, read something while your lips are pursed and you're not looking at me.

23:08 Drew Tap a pen, tap a pen.

23:09 Adam Okay, you ready? I don't wanna see any teeth. I use The Sopranos as a great example. This show is beautifully written and it's wonderfully acted. It's not the idea, it's the execution of an idea.

23:25 Drew It's better, but no feeling, no effort.

23:26 Adam Okay, but there's my point.

23:28 Drew And Chris, do not laugh what he says to it. Do not show any amusement.

23:31 Adam It looks like he almost smiled for a second.

23:32 Drew It's like feeding a lion or something, it's like showing them a big thing of beach.

23:35 Adam Didn't Ann and Lauren talk to you about that? No. Okay, you could lose your job.

23:38 Drew They perfected it, they perfected it. Just follow their lead.

23:42 Adam So the point is, Drew, irreplaceable. All right, Matt, okay, I'm not gonna help Matt. Matt? All right, I like the idea. I can do nothing for you. Keep writing. You have to keep writing and keep writing. That's all I can say.

24:00 Drew Gotta get out of British Columbia. Wait, wait, what's he gonna do from British Columbia?

24:03 Adam Well, don't come here.

24:04 Drew Well, what's he gonna do? Go to New York?

24:05 Adam Go to New York.

24:08 Caller What else can I do? Like, how do I get people to read my stuff? How do I get attention?

24:12 Drew There's a weird thing that goes on in this town, Matt, where if people read your stuff, they won't read it because they're afraid if they come up with a similar idea, you'll sue them.

24:20 Adam Yeah.

24:20 Drew So they refuse to read things.

24:22 Caller I mean, I'm looking through directors.

24:23 Adam All right, here's what you need to do. You need to intern at some TV show.

24:27 Drew Yes.

24:28 Caller Okay.

24:29 Adam That's what you need to do. That's what you need. You go to some place, and there's lots of productions going on in Canada. You'll work for free.

24:35 Drew Yeah.

24:36 Adam You'll hang out.

24:37 Drew Yeah, for a long time.

24:37 Adam You'll Xerox stuff and go on coffee runs. And you do that for a few years, and next thing you know, somebody lets you help them on something.

24:44 Drew Yeah.

24:45 Adam All right?

24:45 Drew That's exactly right.

24:46 Adam Right. All right. Let's take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

24:52 Loveline, we'll be right back.

24:54 Adam Thanks. Hey, everybody, Loveline. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. All right, we're gonna go back to the phones, and we're gonna speak to Sarah, who's 20. Sarah?

25:26 Caller Yeah.

25:27 Adam What's up?

25:28 Caller All right, so I'm eight months pregnant with my second child, actually. And the question for Dr. Drew, and I'm wondering what the best birth control would be to be on after this pregnancy, because this pregnancy I got on when I was on the pill.

25:45 Drew Were you taking the pill properly?

25:47 Caller Yes. The first time I wasn't, that's how I got pregnant the first time, the second time I was very, very, very strict about taking it, I took it every day.

25:53 Drew Were you taking antibiotics or something that might have affected the efficacy of the pill?

25:58 Caller No, the doctor said that it might have been too weak for me.

26:01 Drew That's what I was just thinking, am I on a mini pill or something?

26:04 Caller I don't know what they put me on. Well, it could have been.

26:08 Adam Some people are more fertile than others, yes, Drew? What could you say it that way?

26:13 Drew It's more that medication affect people differently. And in her case, it did make a difference and maybe something more like, something with more estrogen in it would be better for you. So again, the hormones are the most effective. I could see where you might be anxious and want to add a condom to the mix here just to really take the risk down quite a bit.

26:33 Caller And. My husband's gonna have a vasectomy, but we have to save up for it first.

26:37 Adam Good. How much is a vasectomy?

26:40 Caller I don't know. He has insurance. I just know we have to pay a chunk of it.

26:45 Adam Just get a couple hundred dollars. Deductible?

26:48 Caller What's that?

26:49 Adam It's probably just the deductible, right? Or 10% or something like that.

26:53 Caller Something like that.

26:54 Adam All right. Well, that's good. You know, actually I was thinking, I would contribute to that.

27:00 Drew The Ortho Everpatch, try about that.

27:01 Adam You know the guys at the bottom of the freeway ramp that have the Vietnam Veterans sign or making money, it need money to get gas to get back to Arizona.

27:12 Drew So if I stood down there to help a sign, I need money for vasectomy?

27:14 Adam I'd throw a couple quarters in the bucket. Think about it.

27:19 Drew Yeah, just from an evolutionary standpoint.

27:21 Adam Just some guy with a maws buzzing around his head, weird eye patch on, just frothing at the mouth and wants a vasectomy.

27:30 Drew You're on board for that.

27:32 Adam Yeah. I mean, I think just for creativity. You know what I mean? Yeah. Okay. All right, so Sarah should think about the patch.

27:41 Drew I don't know, again, yeah, patch, something. Again, I'm suspicious that she will not be as diligent with the pill as she thinks she might be since she failed on the first go-around. She...

27:51 Adam Oh, because she's saying the patch, not because it's more effective, but because...

27:54 Drew Well, it would give her more estrogen than the mini stuff. And there's a reason, again, I'm sensing here some problems and why they put her on the mini pill.

28:00 Adam You don't trust her, you don't really trust her. She screwed up on the pill the first time.

28:04 Drew That and why they put her on the mini pill when she's complaining about side effects stuff. Just get on the patch and get more estrogen, let's go.

28:09 Adam Sarah, why did they put you on the mini pill?

28:11 Caller I think that they said they were gonna put me on the mini pill because I was still breastfeeding.

28:14 Adam Oh, all right, well, there you go. Hey, Sarah? You sound pretty together for a 20-year-old with a kid. Yeah. Well, almost. All right, good, get the hubby fixed.

28:27 Drew Add a condom. Why just use a condom and a...

28:30 Adam Who the hell wants to use a rubber with their wife?

28:33 Drew For a while until he gets his vasectomy. That's all.

28:37 A rubber.

28:37 Drew I haven't heard they call her a rubber in a long time.

28:40 A rubber.

28:41 Adam I'm old school, brother.

28:42 Drew Dude, you are.

28:43 Adam Yeah. A rubber. Jamie? Oh, hearty heart, never heard Drew laugh. Jamie, you're 18. What's happening?

28:54 Caller I was wondering if being on depression pills and sleeping pills were a bad idea.

29:01 Adam What about supplementing your pills with a little sleeping pill?

29:05 Drew Sleeping pills should really never be used more than a couple of weeks, period.

29:09 Caller I have problems sleeping, and I've had problems sleeping for the past like five months. I mean, I can't sleep until like four or five in the morning. I can't go to sleep, you know?

29:19 Drew Because you're depressed, right? All right, so your depression needs to be properly treated. But early awakening, difficulty falling asleep, these sorts of things are symptoms of depression. If the depression is treated, those symptoms will get better.

29:31 Caller Will they?

29:34 Drew Yeah. Are you being seen by a psychiatrist?

29:36 Caller No, I'm not. I haven't even been to my doctor to even talk to him about it.

29:39 Drew All right, come on, Jamie, come on. Come on. Get it taken care of.

29:43 Caller I know.

29:44 Drew Get it going here. Break it down.

29:45 Adam Let's go.

29:46 Drew Come on, take care of yourself.

29:47 Adam She's calling from Palm Springs. What do you think it was in Palm Springs today?

29:52 Drew 112.

29:53 Adam I'm going 114. Jamie.

29:56 Caller Yeah.

29:57 Adam How hot was it in Palm Springs today?

29:59 Caller I actually can't tell you. I was in Corona.

30:02 Drew Oh, how hot was it in Corona?

30:03 Adam Wasn't that?

30:04 Drew 98.

30:06 Adam I was by the beach. Oh, really?

30:08 Drew Corona's next to Riverside.

30:09 Adam Oh, I thought there was some beach. I'm thinking of the beer. Is this Corona? Oh, there's a Corona Del Mar, isn't there?

30:17 Drew What's going on about Corona is Inland Empire.

30:19 Adam Oh, a different, not the Corona Del Mar. Oh, that's the one I'd like to be in.

30:23 Drew Yeah.

30:23 Adam Yeah. Jamie.

30:25 Caller Yeah.

30:26 Adam How hot was it in Palm Springs yesterday?

30:30 Caller I've been gone for a month and a half. It's been about 115, though.

30:35 Adam All right. Thank you. That's all we needed. 115 degrees. And human beings are supposed to live in this environment. Yeah.

30:47 Drew What's that?

30:47 Adam Let me tell you. Let me tell you, I was just in Monterey. It was 71 in a nice offshore breeze blowing and sunny. Spectacular. Oh, saw those California Condors flying around.

31:03 Drew Really?

31:04 Adam Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be a perfect setting for my sub movie.

31:09 Drew Oh, yeah. Oh, the attack Condors. They could drop bombs in the summer or something?

31:14 Adam No, no, no. I just came up with a great title for it. You ready? It's a sub movie where they steal cars. Subterranean parking. Yeah. That's good. A little too animated with them. Mm-hmm, correct. And just sort of, yeah? What do you think? OK, that's good. I don't believe them. I don't believe me either. I believe he may have liked it. He did just go, mm. There you go. Laura?

31:47 Yeah.

31:47 Adam You're 21?

31:48 Caller Yeah.

31:49 Adam What's happening?

31:52 Caller My son now is eight plus months old. But when I was pregnant with him, I used for like the first four months. What? Speed. I actually like, because I had a really, really, really bad problem with speed. And I don't know how I did it, but I managed to get sober. And luckily, thank God, he came out with every finger, every toe. And he's fine. But I was just like wondering what, you know, I don't want to think that like nothing could happen. So basically like what could happen in the future, if anything, or how I'd get ready for it, or you know, like.

32:31 Adam All right. So kids.

32:32 Drew ADD is one of the things.

32:34 Adam Kids.

32:34 Caller I have that. I have the ADHD.

32:35 Caller They said I self-medicated with speed.

32:37 Adam Kids are eight months old now. You did math from zero to four months as far as your pregnancy went. And then what else, Drew? Anything else?

32:48 Drew First of all, get out of your head the idea that you were self-medicating, ADD, ADHD. Yes, that's why you chose speed. That's why you like speed. But you got strung out on speed and couldn't stop doing speed in spite of the consequences because you're an addict. And the addiction needs to be treated separately. Do not take stimulants. Do not let anybody treat your ADD, ADHD. Adult ADD is addiction in my world. Every single ADD I've ever seen except for two have been addicts. And do not take stimulants.

33:17 Caller Get your addiction treatment.

33:20 Drew Laura, get your addiction treatment. ADD is a marker. ADD is a marker for addiction. ADD in childhood is the child who's going to be an addict.

33:30 Caller I have over a year sobriety. I went into the program when I got sober.

33:34 Drew All right, good. So that's how you got sober. All right, here's the deal. Children exposed to amphetamine, particularly in cocaine also, can have developmental problems, behavioral problems, cognitive problems, learning problems, particularly around kindergarten, first grade. That's when you start to see things emerge. And if they do, have them treated. My understanding is that for the most part, the outcomes as they get older are actually less severe than they originally thought they might be. So things kind of turn out okay.

34:03 Adam Better zero to four months or four months to term.

34:08 Drew I don't know the answer to that.

34:09 Caller I mean, they told me basically that it was better off, that I was sober longer than I was using during my pregnancy.

34:14 Drew You know, I mean, of course that's better.

34:16 Caller Better, it was better. They did all the tests and everything and yeah.

34:20 Drew It sounds like you're in pretty good shape, all things being considered.

34:22 Adam Listen, the kid's gonna be fine and now the real hurdle is you're 21, you had a little bout with the meds.

34:29 Drew Your sobriety, you can't keep your sobriety going.

34:30 Adam I'm not sure where daddy is, where's daddy?

34:32 Caller Yeah, that's where I have actually another question about that because basically he's mad at me for using and he's being mad at me but staying away and I know you, Dr. Drew, having both parents in their lives and I've been trying really hard to have them have a relationship but he's been like-

34:51 Adam Turns crazy that way.

34:52 Drew Yeah, look, he's using that as an excuse. That's BS. He's an a-hole.

34:57 Caller How much did I try to have my son have a father?

35:00 Adam With this guy? Alright, hold on a second. Alright, your son's been on the terra firma here for eight months, right? This guy's seen him how many times? Once? In eight months? This guy's a colossal a-hole. He's an idiot and he wants out. He is out. He's not coming back. You're a single mom and stop clinging to the dream of getting this guy interested in something he's not interested in.

35:33 Drew Here's what I recommend. Get a cup of your sobriety under your belt. You will be amazed at the healthy people you begin attracting, not the crazy, messed up, coked up guys you used to go for. You'll be attracted to a different kind of person. A different kind of person will be attracted to you.

35:47 Adam Did you say messed up?

35:49 Drew Whatever.

35:49 Adam No, it's good.

35:50 Drew It sounds like messed up.

35:51 Adam Yeah. When you're gay and you say messed up.

35:54 Drew But as you get healthy, you'll attract healthy people.

35:56 Adam Like Tyson's saying messed up.

35:58 Drew People are capable of a relationship. You'll have a relationship. You'll have a long term one hopefully. And that will be the child's male role model.

36:05 Adam Yeah.

36:07 Drew Don't worry about the biological father.

36:09 Adam Very convenient for this guy to use your former drug use as a reason not to see his child.

36:13 Drew He's an asshole.

36:14 Adam He's a bad guy.

36:15 Drew Yeah, bad guy. And as Adam often says, recreate on behalf of the child a nice story about who his father actually was. He was an astronaut.

36:25 Right.

36:25 Drew He lost in the Pacific. They never retrieved his body.

36:28 Right.

36:29 Adam He was dusting a Lincoln, a 1923 Lincoln when a Russian, when a Russian, when a commandeered Russian sub pulled up on Pebble Beach. He stowed away.

36:44 Drew This is more of your movie. This could be the home front.

36:48 Adam He stowed away in the intake manifold of a Bugatti and later was drowned when he tried to sabotage the sub. But but but as a hero and he's at sea and every time you see the ocean you think of him and you'll hear his name instead of a jacked up meth head who raped me in a truck stop urinal.

37:09 Drew I didn't want to see you.

37:10 Adam It never never took any interest. Right. Say yes. Yeah. Let's take ourselves a quick break. We'll come back. We'll speak to Katie. Caught dad smoking pot. See what's on line too. Okay. Oh, oh, mystery call. That's exciting.

37:27 Drew It's entry in progress call.

37:28 Adam Entry in progress it says. Syntholating. We'll be right back after this. Love line. You know, Drew, smelling good is more than a smell. It's an attitude.

37:42 Drew That's true, Adam. It is? I know how to get that attitude, too.

37:45 Adam How?

37:47 Drew You see Mac in our show got a 0.0.

37:49 Adam And it's like, it's like, no, we're not interested. Really?

37:54 Drew Because it doesn't give them a chance to beat on their chest or what they're doing.

37:58 Three, two, one.

38:01 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Love Line. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er. You ready to rock here, Drew? Let's go. Let's get it going now. Let's get it on. Got to get it on.

38:16 Drew 20. Yeah. James.

38:20 Adam Yeah.

38:22 James.

38:22 Drew There we go. Go, James. Speak.

38:25 Yes. I'm a 20-year-old virgin and my girlfriend is fine.

38:28 Drew Oh, man, are you? Whoo.

38:29 Adam I was going to say that.

38:31 Yeah. And I've just got back from Iraq in April.

38:36 Drew Hold on one second. Is that now? Is he? Put him on hold. I feel like I don't want to mar his poor James, but do you think the reason he's a virgin is not for lack of opportunity but maybe for lack of drive? Because maybe the levels of the hormone aren't quite as high as in some guys and that's why the voice is the way it is and we assume then that he's a virgin? You understand what I'm saying? Which is first, the chicken or the egg here?

39:02 Adam Well, we had this discussion last week which is I and Drew for that matter can just pick guys or virgins or not by the sound of their voice. We talked to 12 year olds and they were going down.

39:17 Drew Is that a function of losing the virginity or the function of a guy who is that androgenized, that masculine that you know he's not going to be a virgin any longer?

39:26 Adam I'd say it's part inflection.

39:29 Drew Part both, yeah. Like everything.

39:32 Adam Right. So a little bit of everything.

39:34 Drew Three.

39:35 Adam Went to the wrong one. But a virgin, by the way, you should have to get laid before you go into a battle zone. Because dying a virgin would be horrible.

39:47 Drew James? James?

39:50 Yes. All right.

39:51 Adam So you're in the Air Force?

39:54 Yes.

39:55 Adam And you just got back from Iraq?

39:58 Yes.

39:59 Adam What do you do in the Air Force? Oh, an MP. And how was Iraq, Iraq, Iraq?

40:12 Worst experience of my life.

40:13 Adam Really?

40:13 Drew Why?

40:15 Just the things that I saw.

40:17 Drew What happened?

40:21 I really can't say a lot that did happen. It's just a lot of things I don't even wish my worst enemy would see.

40:27 Drew But can you, I mean, things happening to civilians, or to your code?

40:31 Civilians, to military, my comrades, everybody.

40:36 Drew So you were in combat?

40:37 Yes, I was in Baghdad.

40:40 Adam Now what, as a military cop, what are you doing?

40:44 Base security.

40:47 Drew But why are you in such intense areas of combat?

40:52 Because the base was actually under hostile fire.

40:57 Adam Wow, bad times.

40:59 Drew You know, it's interesting, I was talking to some older, some people like, say, our parents' age the other night, and I was saying, you don't understand. I mean, the people in their, in their, the young adults now, either themselves or all of them know somebody who's in Iraq, who's in the military. This is our country, this is our time right now. Hey, James' generation is dealing with wartime, and the rest of us is sort of sitting back. Come on.

41:24 Adam James?

41:25 When?

41:26 Adam I agree with you, Drew, by the way. Did, so you were there for how long?

41:31 Six months.

41:33 Adam And you got to come back already?

41:35 Yes.

41:36 Adam Why so soon?

41:38 Because the Air Force only does six months' rotations. We do it six months there, and six months home, six months there.

41:45 Adam Really? Got to get in that Air Force. And so now you're back. Your virgin and your girlfriend had some bad experiences with guys. Yes. That's what the question says. And what does that mean?

41:57 Combination of them just being like, some of them were hurtful, abusive, just cheating on her.

42:07 Drew Okay, James, and so that's why she doesn't want to move the relationship along with you? Is that what she's saying?

42:18 Actually, what it is, is her father controls her, whatever he wants, he manipulates her to do whatever.

42:23 Adam Then my buddy Chris shows up and she's blowing him while he's talking to her dad. That's how it works. I love that. No, you gotta get some juice.

42:34 Drew Let me translate further. James, not bad enough. Obviously, she went for these horrible guys in spite of what dad wanted, so why won't she go for you, the good guy?

42:47 Adam Here's the whole thing, James, and everybody who's listening who plays that sort of, her dad won't let her card or her boss or she's moving or whatever, here are your two choices in this matter. Either she's telling you the truth and her dad won't let her date you or be with you or whatever and obviously she's going to listen to him, or she's lying and she's using her dad as an excuse to not see you.

43:11 Drew It's not even a volitional lie, it's just sort of a distortion. It's easier.

43:14 Adam It's convenient. Path of least resistance. The point is, either scenario, what's it mean, Drew?

43:20 Drew Can't change things.

43:21 Adam You're out. And I wonder if she's even your girlfriend, James.

43:27 Well, with what we've done in the past four months, with me coming home all the time and us seeing each other and everything, me, I would interpret it as my girlfriend.

43:41 Adam I know you would think that.

43:42 Drew Yeah, that's how it counts here.

43:44 Adam Right. All right. So, James, I don't think she thinks of you as her boyfriend, and I think she's out of this thing.

43:53 Drew This is two guys speaking to you from having been in your shoes.

43:58 Adam That's right. I was in Iraq when I was 19, 20. People want to know what the hell I was doing there.

44:07 Drew No, James, we've loved and lost.

44:10 Adam We've been played.

44:12 Drew Pined for the unavailable.

44:13 Adam Unrequited love.

44:14 Drew It's ridiculous.

44:16 Adam So, James.

44:16 Drew And we all wish that we had somebody like us grab us by the collar and just shake us, just do one of those.

44:22 Adam It's more like me than you, but yeah. Hey, James, I think there's a part of you that knows that she's not really into this thing either. Now there's a part, we haven't talked about this in a while, Drew. There's a part of everybody that, I mean, when you're 19 and you're horny, when you're 20 and you're horny, when you're 17 and you're horny, when you're just a male between the age of 14 and 50, no, but it can go up to 28, 29, 30. There's a 15-year range in there where you can want it enough for the both of you. And where you can become obsessive and a little delusional and even smart guys can, smart guys can't be fooled by bad lies coming from like car salesmen and stuff like that and guys selling timeshare, but they can easily lie to themselves and get away with it.

45:14 Drew Yeah, and women can lie to them even easier.

45:17 Adam Yeah, all they need is a little kernel of something of, well, it's not me, I'd love to see you, but dad doesn't immediately we go to work on dad. What are we going to do? Because she's dying to see me. She's just listening to her dad for the first time ever. You know what I'm saying? It's just, if someone is not with you, it's because they don't want to be with you. And we drive the wrong point home in movies. In movies, we then go and it turns out it is the dad. It's never the dad. If the chick wants to see you, she sneaks out the window and sees you.

45:52 Drew If she's into you, she's into you.

45:55 Adam That's right.

45:56 Drew Bad movie for people to believe.

45:57 Adam If she's into you, she's into you. If he's into you ladies, he's into you. And if not, all the other excuses, don't believe them. They don't exist. You've been watching too many Disney movies.

46:09 Drew Yeah, the unfortunate reality is we were much more primitive than that, especially at that age. We don't do things that make sense.

46:15 Adam If there was a chick that you were super hot for when you were 19, 20 years old, anybody in the family could have kept you away? You would have stabbed your dad with a crocheting needle and stepped right over his cold dead body just to get a handy. Am I right?

46:28 Drew I don't know about the handy, but yeah.

46:31 Adam Whatever, street style, whatever you were doing back then. You know what I'm saying?

46:35 Drew Yeah.

46:36 Adam There's no way. My dad, I would have hurt myself laughing.

46:41 Drew If your dad said something to you.

46:42 Adam We would have had the conversation with him in the living room on the sofa, though. Son, I forbid you from ever seeing that girl again. What's that, dad? I can't hear him in the entry hall. Don't make me sit forward. Go on. I'm thinking about leaning forward. I've been thinking about it for nine years. All right, let's take a little break. I would laugh like a maniac if at 15 my dad told me that. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

47:09 Drew Here it is.

47:10 Adam Bottom line, it sucks being single today.

47:12 Drew Tons of lame people and no decent prospects. Call the dateline.

47:24 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. All right, well, I drove home from Pebble Beach today. Gotta burl him, getting tired, Drew. Oh, really? Gotta be honest with you.

47:39 Drew Oh, boy.

47:40 Adam I'll tell you, is there anything better than a free breakfast? Anything gets you out of bed faster than a free breakfast?

47:45 Drew Well, any free food immobilizes you, moves you.

47:48 Adam Yeah, but the breakfast really gets you, it gets you out of bed. It gets you out of your room.

47:53 Drew Yeah, where'd you have it?

47:54 Adam I was up at like the Carmel Valley Inn or some place like that. GM was paying for all this junk and they got the breakfast going. Oh, that's nice. And the guy, the crepe guy, the crepe guy.

48:09 Drew I was gonna ask you about that. You got a blintz guy?

48:11 Adam Blintz guy? No, just a crepe guy. Blintz is nice, but they just had the crepes. But then they get to build your own omelet guy. Nothing, imagine, okay, you're lying in bed, you don't wanna get up, but you smell some bacon, you smell a little coffee, and you hear the blintz guy making his way to a station. You're up, right? Yeah, that's it. Yeah, gets you motivated. Instead, I got half a yogurt to look forward to in the fridge, or maybe out of the fridge. Doesn't motivate me, but the coffee gets me up, I realize.

48:45 Drew Yeah, yeah.

48:46 Adam Yeah, gets you up? Mm-hmm, oh, I drove out Friday morning, left at 4:30 a.m. Went to bed at 2.30, got up at 4.30 and left. What?

48:59 Drew Say that again.

49:00 Adam Went to bed, I drove out Friday to Pebble Beach. Yeah. I left, actually left at 5 a.m. Wow. Was going on the road at 5 a.m., went to bed at 2.30, got up at 4.30.

49:13 Drew That's what I thought you said.

49:14 Adam Split, kinda, you know what though, you get there, and you don't even remember. It's amazing what you can do and not even know it.

49:19 Drew Do you know for the first time in, let me think about this, 20 years, I'm sleeping.

49:28 Adam Yeah.

49:29 Drew But I mean, I'm like letting myself sleep till like 8.30 in the morning, even after going to bed at 12.31 with Loveline. I've been doing it like two weeks, I'm getting like a seven to nine hours of sleep every night for two weeks. I'm a different human being.

49:41 Adam Yeah, yeah, I can tell by the way you grunt when I'm going on a tirade. You know, before I used to go on my tirades and it'd be like.

49:50 Drew Empty grunts.

49:51 Adam And now it's like, mm. Yeah, so I was like, you see his head move? It's crazy, he's saying to me, he's beaked up, this guy. I reel it in just a little bit, Drew, you're spooking me.

50:02 Drew But now that I'm sleeping, I'm thinking to myself, what the F, 20 years of, six, five, four hours of.

50:08 Adam You torture yourself and then get angry at the world. I've told you to sleep in for a long time. All right, thank you. Abby?

50:15 Caller Yeah.

50:16 Adam You're 18?

50:17 Caller Yes.

50:18 Adam What's up?

50:19 Caller I have difficulties sleeping with my boyfriend.

50:23 Drew Sleeping with your boyfriend, having sex, what happens?

50:25 Caller There we go.

50:26 Drew What happens?

50:27 Caller I don't know, like, I'm bipolar. And I'll just go through my manic highs and my manic lows where I wanna have sex with him. And then other times I'll have really bad flashbacks.

50:38 Drew Of what?

50:39 Adam What?

50:40 Caller I was molested when I was younger.

50:41 Drew Well, so that's gonna screw up your ability to have relations, right?

50:44 Adam Who molested you?

50:48 Drew Good times. And so what we see then is people typically go through periods of very, very intense sexual activity where they're sort of recreating the trauma and then they'll switch from that to very depriving or deprivation states where they don't have any sex. They're shut down. So maybe you're in that kind of shutdown stage.

51:06 Adam And did you tell your mom about this guy?

51:09 Caller Yeah, I went through court and everything. She testified against me.

51:11 Drew She testified against you?

51:13 Caller Yeah.

51:14 Drew Well, that's a good mom.

51:16 Adam Well, how does that work?

51:18 Caller I don't know.

51:18 Caller She said that I'm full of shit.

51:20 Drew At least you realize she said the S words. She did catch herself. Better most of our college.

51:25 Adam Yeah, Abby dropped the S bomb, so I had to put her on hold so we can reboot here for a second. I always wonder about this. Are people that truly evil or does Abby have some sort of very negative, semi-twisted version of what mom did in court?

51:45 Drew Both.

51:46 Adam It's both.

51:47 Drew Yeah.

51:47 Adam Right, mom's horrible, but did she really testify against her daughter? We'll try to find out.

51:55 Drew You know what? I've seen so much screwed up stuff in my career, it's just sort of. My favorite phrase now is whatever.

52:03 Adam Abby?

52:04 Drew I just believe anything.

52:05 Adam Don't swear again.

52:06 Drew Nothing, believe everything.

52:07 Adam All right, now how is it that your mom testified against you in court for this molestation thing?

52:13 Caller And all this other poo and.

52:15 Drew So she was.

52:17 Adam She was freaked out? Poo.

52:18 Caller I guess, yeah.

52:20 Adam And so she was scared of the guy? So she was saying stuff like, I never saw anything?

52:25 Caller He was too busy.

52:26 Caller And they made me sound like a liar.

52:30 Drew He was too busy beating me.

52:33 Adam And so what happened? He was found guilty?

52:35 Caller He signed a confess form and he only served two months. And I don't even know if he's a registered molester.

52:43 Drew Yeah, Abby, you don't have to take a huge drag off so you're gonna blow it into the mic. Get into the phone for us, we get it. All right, baby. All right, listen.

52:55 Adam Angry.

52:56 Drew So have you had a lot of treatment?

52:58 Caller I've been in therapy since I was eight.

53:00 Drew Okay, keep going. What I've noticed in people that have been through this is they sort of splinter internally. They become kind of a good self and a bad self. And when the bad self is active, that's when magically they can have sex. And when they actually get involved in a relationship with somebody worthwhile, that's when they tend to shut down, that the good self is somehow completely divorced from the sexual self. And you gotta be able to integrate these things to have a real relationship.

53:23 Caller Yeah, because he's like the first nice guy that I've ever been to.

53:26 Drew Yeah, so don't screw it up. Yeah, yeah, well, don't screw it up.

53:30 Adam Okay, yeah, just try not to sabotage, Abby. It's gonna be difficult for you. Like, before you give him a BJ, put out the cigarette. Nobody needs that.

53:40 Drew Take your bipolar meds, too.

53:42 Adam Yeah, you ever get your sack burned, Drew?

53:45 Drew With a cigarette?

53:46 Adam Well, Tiparello.

53:48 Drew No, not to think about it, I can't say it.

53:50 Adam Well, you don't know pain, then, you don't know pain.

53:53 Drew And with your immense-

53:56 Adam Predigious.

53:57 Drew Your prodigious sackage, it can't, I mean, poor partner of yours, if she so much as lit a cigarette nearby, the sack would catch.

54:07 Adam Predigious, yeah. Are you ready to rock?

54:09 Drew Yeah.

54:10 Adam Jen?

54:11 Drew Sack-o-plenty.

54:14 Adam Mr. Elastic Scrutum. Jen, you're 20.

54:17 Caller Yeah, I'm here.

54:17 Adam What's up?

54:18 Drew Adam Carolla, Mr. Elastic Scrutum, that's me.

54:21 Guest Yeah, I just have a question about, because I had chlamydia and I got treated for it.

54:26 Drew Yeah, what'd you take?

54:28 Caller They gave me this stuff to drink, I don't know what it called.

54:31 Drew Right, azithromycin, okay.

54:33 Guest Yeah, and I think that was two weeks ago, and I was just wondering, does it go away right away?

54:39 Drew Essentially, I mean, you're certainly good at two weeks. And people might recommend you stay out off things for a week or so, but.

54:46 Guest Okay, because I was wondering when you'll be safe to have unprotected sex again.

54:50 Drew You should be fine. But it's not with the same partner, right?

54:54 Guest No, no, no, no.

54:55 Adam She can start partying tonight?

54:58 Guest No.

54:59 Adam No.

54:59 Drew No.

55:00 Adam But when, two weeks?

55:01 Drew No, now.

55:02 Adam Oh, now? What was the two week part?

55:05 Drew She has been two weeks.

55:06 Adam Oh, it has been two weeks.

55:07 Drew She could start tonight, but how dare you suggest that she is going to start tonight, Adam?

55:11 Adam Yeah, and then she started laughing when he said, same partner. Please, that was Friday. It's almost Monday. Please, gotta be some new penis. Katie?

55:24 Caller Yeah.

55:24 Adam You're 18?

55:26 Caller Yeah.

55:26 Drew What's happened?

55:27 Caller When I was like 14, I got diagnosed with bipolar and they put me on meds and they never explained me that I had bipolar, like really what it was, you know? They explained it to my parents and they put me on Zepakote.

55:39 Drew How old were you?

55:40 Caller I was about 14.

55:42 Drew How much, how fruitful would it have been for them to spend a lot of time discussing your brain chemistry at 14?

55:49 Caller Well, it would have been a lot of help because now I'm 18 and after, I was in the hospital 11 times in all year. I had 11 stays there and then I ended up at a group home and now I'm going to a doctor and I'm out of the group home. I've been out for a year and they tell me that I'm not bipolar and I'm not on any meds now and I feel fine, but because of the Depakote, I gained over 70 pounds.

56:13 Drew Depakote doesn't typically cause weight gain. Were you on something else? Were you on Zyprexa?

56:17 Caller That was the only thing I was on.

56:20 Drew Huh, Syracwil, nothing else?

56:22 Caller I'm on Syracwil now.

56:24 Drew Yeah, well that can cause you to gain weight.

56:26 Adam Sometimes people just gain weight from 14 to 18.

56:29 Caller Well, yeah, that's the only thing I was on and it was over the summer, like three months.

56:33 Drew Depakote doesn't typically cause weight gain. It really doesn't. I imagine if it's possible it did, but it doesn't typically.

56:40 Adam All right, but how does the part where you're in and out of homes and all that stuff work and go to the hospital 11 times?

56:46 Drew And how could you not have a mental illness requiring all those hospitalizations?

56:50 Caller Well, the thing is, as me and my mom, we don't get along at all and I have a really short temper. So every time something happened, I would go back. Like, I would just went on and on.

57:01 Drew Would you try hurting yourself?

57:03 Caller Oh yeah, I used to cut a lot.

57:06 Drew OK, so that's major serious mental illness, Katie.

57:10 Adam Yeah, baby doll. Well, listen.

57:13 Drew It's great that you're off meds and feeling good now, but don't think that magically things have vanished. You need to work hard and be carefully managed. These are chronic conditions. You need to be treated over a long, long period of time to be successfully free of symptoms.

57:30 Adam All right, baby.

57:31 Caller Well, I just want to know, because is there anything like I can do? Because I didn't know about this gain weight. Now I have stretch marks, and my mom wants to sue, and I didn't know if, like...

57:41 Adam She wants to sue the doctor?

57:43 Caller Yeah, the doctor.

57:44 Drew Does not seem like there's a direct connection there, in my thinking.

57:48 Caller No.

57:49 Adam Tell your mom not to sue. Tell everyone not to sue. Everyone, please stop suing so I can get on with my goddamn life without reading warning labels and getting smashed by pneumatic closers in every door I open. Everyone, stop suing. Stop wanting to sue. Can we do that? I've never sued anybody. I've never even wanted to sue anybody. It's not an option. Unless the guy sets you on fire while you're asleep, move forward, everybody. Please, with the lawsuits. Everyone's destroying the country. And the lawyers are destroying the country. But without a-holes who are throwing themselves downstairs at casinos every five minutes, there'd be no clientele. Let's all stop suing each other.

58:33 Drew Please.

58:33 Adam Stop wanting to sue each other.

58:34 Drew I mean, you can't, it's, you know, what the thinking is, the doctor wanted to harm her or was negligent by not, by trying to help, but not-

58:42 Adam Something bad has happened to me and I need to be compensated. Why don't we get a class action lawsuit against God for all the people that are disabled?

58:53 Drew Anything bad or unpleasant.

58:53 Adam Well, I'm gonna blame God for anyone born with an abnormality. You screw up rolling blading, that's not his fault.

59:00 Drew Well, I blame God for the obstetrician.

59:01 Adam Yeah, let's just stop it. Let's just stop suing everybody. Can we do that? I'm a little dignity. What's going on? And how about some goddamn PSAs that talk about something for a change?

59:13 Drew Dignity, how about that?

59:15 Adam Yeah, I mean, I sit here all night and listen to these stupid PSAs about where your laptop computer is and not partying. Yeah, let's work like a charm. We've had 50 years of PSAs about not having that beer when you're under 21. Let's work like a charm. Marijuana, it's not smoked anymore. Cocaine, out of business. Underage drinking doesn't exist. No, we've conquered that. We've climbed that mountain and conquered it, Drew. Here we go. Yeah, those PSAs, they work like charms. How about a little something? I'm gonna listen to a PSA that's like, have some goddamn dignity. Stop suing everybody. Pick yourself up by your own bootstraps and get to work, would you? Your last easy day was yesterday. Don't eyeball me, son. I want a DI. I want a drill instructor to deliver these things. Lou Gossett Jr. from An Officer and a Gentleman. Just start screaming at everybody. He's 70? He's doing Iron Eagle 5. One day I'm gonna put together a list of actors who have Academy Awards and have done horrible, horrible films since, and it's gonna be funny. And Lou Gossett Jr. would be maybe not at the top, but in my top five. He's done some bad work since he got his Academy Award, Drew. I'm hoping one day I can get to the point where I get Academy Award and then start doing bad work.

1:00:31 Drew You know you really could get a rich payoff as Academy Award nominees.

1:00:36 Adam Yeah, oh, well that, that's everybody. The guys that actually brought home the trophy and then gone on to do Iron Eagle 1, 2 and 3. Yeah, that's less plausible than my sub-movie plot. What are you doing, Drew, are we ready to rock?

1:00:52 Drew Let's go.

1:00:53 Adam What's going on? Let's get it on.

1:00:54 Drew Let's go, I'm waiting for you.

1:00:55 Adam Get it on, let's get it on. Drew, the amount of movies I see to the amount of movies I announce I'm gonna see, either on pay-per-view at the hotel or actually in the movie theater, gotta be 75 to one. Like, I was out of town this week, I announced, hey, what's on this pay-per-view? Because they have the still in the theater, Troy, hmm, I could see that. I'm gonna watch, I announced it three consecutive nights, I was gonna watch it, no, never did. Beaten off in the shower and went to bed. Sarah?

1:01:27 Guest Yeah?

1:01:28 Adam You're 17?

1:01:29 Guest Yes.

1:01:29 Adam What's happening?

1:01:32 Guest Hi Adam, hi Dr. Drew. Well, I recently slept with my best guy friend and I wanted some relationship advice because he told me he just wanted to be friends.

1:01:46 Adam After you guys slept together?

1:01:48 Guest Before and after.

1:01:51 Adam How long have you guys known each other?

1:01:53 Guest Often on about two years, we met in school.

1:01:56 Drew Were you attracted to him at first? Did you want to be a boyfriend, girlfriend?

1:01:59 Guest No, not at first. After I got to know him, I started liking him.

1:02:02 Adam Really? How'd you get to know him at first if you weren't attracted to him?

1:02:07 Guest Oh, well, we started hanging out. We live really close to each other, about two minutes away, so usually we just go hang out naturally, because, yeah.

1:02:16 Adam Because he lives within a five mile radius of your house?

1:02:20 Guest Yeah, and plus we have a lot of common interests.

1:02:23 Drew Like what?

1:02:24 Guest Like we have the same taste in music, the same taste in music.

1:02:27 Drew And he's never tried to come on to you before?

1:02:31 Guest No, not really. We flirt, but nothing really before.

1:02:36 Drew Does he have a girlfriend?

1:02:38 Guest He has an ex that he is still trying to pursue a relationship with.

1:02:44 Drew I can't put this one together.

1:02:45 Adam It's a little bit of a ridiculous joke. No, I can, I can.

1:02:49 Drew She's into him.

1:02:50 Adam She's into him. And he's passively into her, but he's way more into this other chick that's really got his attention, because she dumped on him, and now he's become a little bit obsessed with him.

1:03:00 Drew Yeah, yeah, and now he had an opportunity with Sarah, so he had sort of a mercy action, yeah.

1:03:07 Adam When did this, how'd you guys finally get together after these years?

1:03:13 Guest It's kind of funny, we were sitting in a car, and we were kind of having a truth or dare kind of thing.

1:03:18 Adam Uh-oh, yeah.

1:03:21 Guest Because he didn't think that I was daring, and I proved him wrong, apparently.

1:03:30 Mm-hmm, so what was the truth or dare?

1:03:32 Adam I like when the guy pretends he comes up with something.

1:03:35 Drew Yeah, I bet you wouldn't.

1:03:37 Adam Yeah, I mean, like if you couldn't take your top off and run around the car and then jump back in and land on my penis. I just thought of that, man. You guys pretend, like they're trying to come up with dares, but I was involved.

1:03:50 Drew But what are the women thinking? What do they think the guy's motivated to do?

1:03:53 Adam I know, it's so funny, too, like it's never like, let's see, Truth, you tell me how many guys you slept with or Dare, you go down to Old Man Johnson's farm and egg his truck. So it's always something with the shirt coming off. You know what I mean? That's the chick. And for a guy, it's something, okay, you gotta go outside and you gotta take the hose and whatever, and it's freezing cold or something like that. But with a chick, and it's again, the guy's thinking, what would be good?

1:04:22 Drew By the way, the guys are looking for an opportunity to show their willingness to deliver on your behalf.

1:04:29 Adam You pull your sweater over your head and smear this lithium axle grease on your areolas. I just thought of that. I would have done the same for a dude. Yeah, if you're playing, and by the way, when there's guys involved, it's like, okay, put it, the guy stares, like, put another sweatshirt on and then just go roll out in the snow. And then just flog yourself with the hose, right.

1:04:56 Drew Well, it's prove you love me, right?

1:04:58 Adam Sarah?

1:04:59 Drew Yeah?

1:05:00 Adam So what was the dare he gave you?

1:05:02 Guest Well, it was more like just what was the most teasing thing I could do to him kind of thing.

1:05:14 Drew Sarah?

1:05:15 Adam So what'd you do? What'd you do? Don't get too graphic, but go ahead.

1:05:17 Guest Keep in mind that I'm very inexperienced in comparison to him, so I kind of kissed him on the neck, and he laughed.

1:05:26 Adam And so that wasn't good enough?

1:05:28 Guest He explained to me that his idea of teasing was underneath clothing.

1:05:33 Adam Ah, interesting that his idea was a step further than what you'd deliver. Usually guys say reel it in just a little bit.

1:05:39 Drew What I like is like, how dare you? How dare you?

1:05:43 Adam You call that a dare? This guy's good.

1:05:46 Drew He's not good.

1:05:47 Adam So then what happened?

1:05:49 Guest Well, so then, I don't know. I kissed him and he kissed me back and we started making out and one thing led to another.

1:05:56 Drew Oh, one thing.

1:05:59 Adam He had no idea.

1:06:00 Drew One thing led to another.

1:06:02 Adam Don't get too condescending.

1:06:03 Drew But wait a minute. How could that happen? I mean, I'm confused.

1:06:06 Adam All right. Now what's your nationality, by the way?

1:06:09 Guest Me?

1:06:10 Adam Yeah, you have one?

1:06:13 Guest I'm Hispanic and white.

1:06:17 Adam I knew it. Yeah, Drew had another thought. Drew thought you may have been Asian for some crazy reason. I don't know why. I didn't get anything off of you, by the way. I'm very rare, by the way, because I'm usually looking for an ethnic angle. But I got nothing off of you. All right. So Sarah, then you guys had sex in the car. Yeah. Right. And now he's back to wanting to be friends.

1:06:44 Drew At what point did he declare, by the way, as things were unfolding, we're just going to be friends after this, right? What was he doing at the moment that was delivered?

1:06:53 Guest Mid-makeout, I believe.

1:06:55 Drew Yeah.

1:06:56 Adam Listen, Sarah, here's the thing. He may still be your friend. He's not going to be your boyfriend. He's interested in this other chick. You can't win him over. You've had sex with him now. It's not worked. You have to move on. Sorry, but that's the way it is.

1:07:15 Drew Having sex with a guy does not convert them. It does not convert into anything.

1:07:20 Adam No. No. It does not. And here's the thing, too. It's so hard when you're 18 or 17. It's like, oh, this person doesn't like me. How am I going to make it without this person? I'll never see this person. I mean, you remember those stupid sort of retarded fantasies where it's like, you'd say, I will never see this person again. Oh, my God, no. I mean, they're so special. I couldn't imagine.

1:07:49 Drew Couldn't live without them.

1:07:50 Adam I don't think I can make it a week.

1:07:51 Drew And the friends we had together.

1:07:52 Adam And oh, my God. The times, yes. Yeah, but the point is, now you're a little older, Drew, you didn't want to see your wife. Forget about the ones you've had. We'll go home to a house that's empty for a change. The point is, think of all the people you haven't seen in 20 years, and never think about it. It's cool. Once in a while, you're on a long drive, and time in a bottle comes on the radio, and you start drifting back, you get half a boner, but that's about it. You've made it fine. Not only can you make it without this guy, you're going to make it without the next ten guys, and then you'll marry the guy. You're going to stay here for four years, and then you'll make it without him. I'm just saying, you don't need to see him.

1:08:33 Drew And by the way, real relationships are people you want to be with, but don't have to be with. You know what I'm saying? You want to be with somebody, you must.

1:08:41 Adam Let me tell you something, man. Love is like a bird, man. You've got to set it free, man. And if it comes back, it was meant to be, man. But if it just flies out and gets hit, like a UPS guy, then it's dead, man. You can still have sex with it a couple of times, but during the summer, you've got to hurry, because it'll go bad quick. Yeah. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er. Lisa Loeb. Oh, no, that's next week. She's coming in. Yeah.

1:09:43 Drew John Hensley.

1:09:44 Adam Yeah, from Nip-Tuck coming in here. Matthew Lillard coming in here from Up the Creek Without a Paddle. Is that what it is?

1:09:52 Drew Without a paddle.

1:09:53 Adam Without the paddle. Yeah, that's what I said. Up the Creek, Up A Creek.

1:09:56 Drew Just Without a Paddle.

1:09:57 Adam Oh, it's just Without a Paddle. Oh, just Without a Paddle.

1:09:59 Drew I think so.

1:09:59 Adam It is Without a Paddle. Yeah. Yeah. All right, you're right, Drew. That's why you get the big bucks.

1:10:04 Drew That's why.

1:10:04 Adam All right, let's... I want to do Germany or Florida.

1:10:06 Drew Hey, Chris, can you believe we get paid the same? Can you believe that, Chris?

1:10:09 Adam No.

1:10:11 Drew Very enthusiastic, responsive.

1:10:12 Adam I'm lucky we're not doing peace work and I get paid by the syllable. It says you'd be destroyed. Reena? Imagine, Drew, if we were getting paid by the word and you and I had to compete. You see what I'm saying? See who could try to make more money?

1:10:28 Drew Yeah, but there'd have to be sort of a weight applied to each word. There'd be a value to each word.

1:10:34 Adam I don't know. I think it would go something like this. Watch, it would be like this. Reena.

1:10:39 Drew Reena, what's going on here?

1:10:46 Adam Well, you see, now, in that one, I would have gotten in like 21 words, you would have gotten in 19 words. You're very competitive. No, no, no.

1:10:55 Drew No, no, no. The words involved in this would be very important. Yes.

1:10:57 Adam Okay. And for redundancy, you'd have, like I said, no, I'm not 128 times.

1:11:03 Drew That would work.

1:11:03 Adam Wouldn't work. Oh, wait a minute. I just repeated what you said. But there was a context short.

1:11:07 Drew That's okay. That's okay.

1:11:09 Adam That's okay.

1:11:11 Drew All right.

1:11:12 Adam Let's stop being punchy. It's time to play Germany or Florida, by the way.

1:11:15 Drew Let's go.

1:11:16 Adam Let's go.

1:11:16 Drew Let's go.

1:11:17 Adam Let's go. Reena?

1:11:18 Caller Yeah.

1:11:19 Adam 14, baby doll. Germany or Florida? Here we go.

1:11:23 Caller A man suspected of murder after he was seen carrying what a neighbor thought was a body into his flat has cleared his name by showing police his collection of rubber specks of gold.

1:11:31 Drew We've seen this one.

1:11:31 Adam We've heard this one.

1:11:32 Drew Yes, we have heard, actually.

1:11:33 Adam Yeah. They decided it was Germany.

1:11:35 Drew Yeah, it was Germany.

1:11:35 Adam And don't use flat.

1:11:36 Drew Yeah, flat. There's no Florida flats.

1:11:39 Adam No. Yeah, they have apartments.

1:11:42 Drew Way to go, Rayna. Nice job.

1:11:43 Adam But thanks.

1:11:44 Drew It was good. We liked that one.

1:11:45 Adam Good job. Yeah. Yeah, that was Germany. Here we go.

1:11:51 Drew Another bogus call coming up.

1:11:53 Adam Justin? Hey, how are you doing? You're 18? So my question is, my friend was at work and her friend there said, try to have sex, you know, when she's on her bed and I'm happy because girlfriend wants him to do anal sex with her. He's reluctant. Let's know about the rest.

1:12:14 Drew That's bogus.

1:12:14 Adam Yeah.

1:12:15 Drew Yeah.

1:12:17 Adam Began smoking pot, got dad smoking pot. 108 minutes on hold, Drew.

1:12:22 Drew Let's go. Let's go.

1:12:24 Adam Shasta? Is that your name? What kind of name is Shasta?

1:12:34 Caller I like my name, it's a soda.

1:12:35 Drew It's a soda. Adam, it's a soda. You got that?

1:12:38 Adam Oh.

1:12:38 Drew It's a mountain in Northern California.

1:12:39 Adam It's a mountain as well. Yeah.

1:12:42 Drew And a lake, and a lake, and a county.

1:12:44 Adam So who named you Shasta? All right. What's up?

1:12:52 Caller Well, about a week ago, I started smoking pot.

1:13:09 Drew No, that's not true. That's simply not true. It doesn't do anything to you if you smoke it once a month, but if you're smoking it every day, it has rather profound effects.

1:13:20 Adam Yeah.

1:13:23 Drew Three times a week can begin to add up.

1:13:25 Adam That's enough. You're calling from Bakersfield, right?

1:13:28 Drew You need everything you got.

1:13:30 Adam Believe me. Yeah. You should be eating like a ginkgo biloba. You need one of those supplements that help your brain.

1:13:41 Drew Not to bring it down. Pop, for some people, can be quite addictive, and when it's used regularly, will have rather profound effects on your development, particularly your age. So please, please, please don't get going with that.

1:13:52 Adam You're 16, baby doll. You gotta move far away from Bakersfield.

1:13:57 Caller I want to live in London.

1:13:59 Drew London?

1:13:59 Adam Good, good.

1:14:01 Drew I think what Chast will be like, that name in London will be like, intrigue.

1:14:04 Adam What are you gonna do there?

1:14:06 Caller Video game producing.

1:14:08 Adam Oh, that's perfect.

1:14:10 Drew Why London? Oh, really? They may require her to smoke pot though to be a part of that industry, mightn't they?

1:14:19 Adam What do you have to do to be a video game producer?

1:14:23 Caller I'm gonna get into the code area, like designing all this stuff.

1:14:27 Drew Where do you train for that?

1:14:29 Caller Well, I'm taking this computer programming class, and I need to learn all the programs, like I'm going to write programs. Good. I'm gonna do all the code behind it, kind of like HTML.

1:14:40 Drew Chast, don't, you need every brand cell you've got. Do not waste them.

1:14:45 Adam That's right.

1:14:45 Drew This is a highly competitive and intellectual field, it seems to me. At least, challenging field.

1:14:50 Adam Yes. Yeah, here's the whole thing about the weed, everybody. It stunts your mental growth, especially if you're doing it all the time. There's just certain things you miss.

1:15:00 Drew It's not an accident we know you're smoking a lot of pot. We can tell immediately when somebody smoked a lot of pot. Not because they seem sharp and on their game.

1:15:08 Adam No.

1:15:08 Drew Quite the contrary.

1:15:09 Adam It dulls you. It's like when you don't get enough sleep, but every day. And I know you make that thing, but it does take the edge off and make you not quite as sharp as you are.

1:15:21 Drew That's Caitlin.

1:15:23 Adam Caitlin? When I say not enough sleep, I mean like, you know, five minutes sleep.

1:15:28 Drew Yeah.

1:15:28 Adam You're a mess.

1:15:29 Drew Yeah.

1:15:29 Adam You don't think straight. Caitlin?

1:15:33 Caller Yeah.

1:15:33 Adam You're 17?

1:15:35 Caller Yeah.

1:15:35 Adam Yeah. Except for Bill Maher.

1:15:37 Drew He doesn't sleep?

1:15:38 Adam No. I think he smokes a ton of weed, but he's a very sharp guy.

1:15:42 Drew I bet he doesn't smoke that much. No, I bet when he smokes, he smokes plenty. Well, there always is that guy that smokes for a long, long period of time, and it seemed to be resistant to these accumulative effects of the drug. I've known some people. I've had some doctors do that.

1:15:58 Adam Well, let me...

1:15:59 Drew And what I will tell you is, eventually, that Bill comes due.

1:16:03 Adam Well, here's what I'm telling you. That ain't you, whoever's listening.

1:16:06 Drew Yeah. Yeah, no, no, no. I know.

1:16:07 Adam You ain't Bill Maher.

1:16:08 Drew Believe me, I've seen two of those people in my whole life.

1:16:10 Adam Bill Maher smoke a hay bale of pot a week and still be sharp as a ten.

1:16:15 Drew I can't believe that would be Bill. It doesn't fit. Maybe twice a week he smokes out, but not every day.

1:16:22 Adam I don't know. Really, I don't know how much weed he smokes.

1:16:25 Drew I bet not. I bet you not.

1:16:26 Caller Just whenever I'm around him.

1:16:29 Adam Okay.

1:16:30 Drew Well, he may be saying the same thing about you, because whenever he's around you, you're smoking pot.

1:16:34 Adam Oh, well, yeah, but he hands me the joint.

1:16:37 Caller So?

1:16:37 Adam I don't ask him if he wants to go smoke weed. Okay, here's my point.

1:16:40 Drew I remember when Tony Curtis asked him to go smoke weed.

1:16:43 Adam Asked you to go smoke weed?

1:16:44 Drew Asked him.

1:16:44 Adam Asked Bill?

1:16:45 Drew Yeah, Tony Curtis. Whoa. I'm like, oh my God.

1:16:49 Adam All right, here's the point. Here's the thing with pot, Drew, stop making noise.

1:16:53 Drew Maybe he was kidding.

1:16:55 Adam There are a handful of people that are so intelligent, that are so advanced, and have such big brains, that they can actually cool their jets down a little. It's like trying to put out a volcano with a garden hose. Yeah, technically, it cools it a little bit, but really, it's so powerful that whatever. It'd be a little better without it, but.

1:17:15 Drew I understand that you sort of see this as the horsepower of the individual, but there may actually be some properties that resist the cumulative effect of the drug also.

1:17:25 Adam Yeah, yeah. There is, but yes, there is. I'm sure there is, but it's obviously look, I know plenty of intelligent people, not going to mention any more names other than Bill Maher, who like to take a toke now and again, and that's being conservative, who have not seemed to have lost a step from their game. OK, and I know many of these people and they're adults and they consume a lot of marijuana and yet very sharp. OK, they can do it because they're very intelligent people. They don't have the, they don't get the effects that you would have, but here's what I'm saying. That ain't you. All your nut jobs from Bakersfield. You need every cell you got.

1:18:05 Drew And I'm inclined to think that they probably, really seriously, have to, we'll have to get Bill up here.

1:18:11 Adam So we can sue me for slander?

1:18:13 Drew Slander, just trying to speak the truth. Caitlyn.

1:18:16 Adam Trying. Yeah. It's a libel when you talk about it, slander when you're writing it, or which one? Caitlyn? What's happening?

1:18:27 Caller First off, Dr. Drew, I loved your book, Crack.

1:18:30 Drew Oh, thanks, Caitlyn.

1:18:32 Adam Bill Maher smoked it, actually. Bill only liked it, but he had to smoke it. You're 17. What's up?

1:18:38 Caller Yeah, I've recently found out both my parents smoke pot.

1:18:42 Drew Great.

1:18:43 Caller And I don't really know how to handle it.

1:18:44 Caller Like, what I should do.

1:18:46 Adam They're smoking pot every day?

1:18:48 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

1:18:50 Drew What do you mean, how to handle it? What's happening?

1:18:53 Caller Well, I just, I don't know what to do.

1:18:54 Caller Like, I've tried, I've talked to them about it, and like, they say they're going to stop, but they don't.

1:18:59 Drew Yeah, you can't change them, and you're not their parent. So what is it you're looking for? What's the feeling that you're looking for a direction upon?

1:19:08 Caller Um, that they just, I don't want them to lie.

1:19:10 Drew They're not going to change.

1:19:12 Caller Yeah, I don't want them to lie to me about it.

1:19:14 Adam Well, how did you, how did you, how did you catch them?

1:19:17 Caller I walked in my, into my dad's when he was smoking.

1:19:20 Drew All right, the only thing you can do, if you're interested, you can get something, things to help yourself. You can take care of yourself by going to Al-Nod or getting a therapist, that sort of thing to learn to deal with parents who are addicted.

1:19:34 Adam How's your dad doing? Does he have a job?

1:19:40 Caller Yeah, he has a job. Like, they haven't been doing it their whole life, they just recently started up again.

1:19:45 Adam And so they say, do they, do they provide a good home for you? Yeah, they do. What's your dad do for a living?

1:19:53 Caller He's in computers.

1:19:57 Adam And he makes okay money and your mom's good and they buy, you know, do you have a decent house? Is there food in the refrigerator?

1:20:05 Drew Are you going up to college in a year or so?

1:20:07 Caller Yeah, I am.

1:20:08 Drew Where are you going?

1:20:09 Caller Probably the University of Arkansas.

1:20:11 Drew Razorback.

1:20:12 Adam Yeah. Here's the thing, Caitlin.

1:20:15 Drew Jumbotron at the University of Arkansas. The biggest in the world.

1:20:17 Adam Oh, really?

1:20:18 Drew It's so big they had to shut it down because it interfered with air traffic. The radiation from it.

1:20:23 Adam It's huge. Hey, Caitlin. Yeah? How do you know so much?

1:20:27 Drew I spoke there.

1:20:28 Adam All right. Shut up. Don't speak here. Just speak in Arkansas. That's our new rule. All right. Here's the thing, Caitlin, you're not going to stop them. I agree with Drew. You sound depressed. I don't think it's just over this. Your parents are successful or at least successful enough to provide a home and put food on the table and send you off to college one of these days. Focus on your friends. Focus on you not smoking pot. Focus on getting your grades up. Focus on going to school next year and all that good stuff. And don't sit home and sulk over your parents doing this. You're not going to get them to stop. And if they're being, look, here's what I'm saying. I don't want to condemn the parents. If the dad goes to work and he puts in a good day and he comes home and toks out a little reefer and he puts food on the table, so be it.

1:21:12 Drew But they're not the perfect humans you thought they were. I know you idealize them. You do sound a little depressed. Again, therapists, Al-Anon, 12 Step, could help you. If nothing else, go away to college. Take advantage of the mental health services at the University of Arkansas when you get there.

1:21:27 Adam Good times. And go backs. Razor backs. Backpacks. Backpacks. Lauren? There should be a team called the Fanny Packs. Could there be a gayer name for like a football team?

1:21:42 Drew Yes. Lord Jeffs.

1:21:44 Adam East Colorado Fanny Packs. Oh yeah, Lord Jeffs. That was Drew's mascot. Well, everybody, it's beautiful football season and it's the Lord Jeffs.

1:21:55 Drew You don't understand.

1:21:56 Adam Versus the Eastern Illinois Fanny Packs. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, that's bad news. Drew, what's up? Want to talk to Lauren? Yeah. Lauren, 22.

1:22:08 Guest Yes. I'm 22 and my boyfriend's 23. We have a six month old baby together and we live separately. He cheated on me with someone for a while while he was in the Army, broke up with me while I was pregnant, but I couldn't keep working while I was pregnant because of some health issues so he invited me to go and live in his apartment until I could get back on my feet again.

1:22:38 Adam While he was off doing his Army thing or live with him?

1:22:42 Guest Live with him.

1:22:43 Drew While he was broke, whoa, whoa, whoa. While he was broken up with you?

1:22:46 Guest Yeah, while he was broken up with me. We've been really good friends for like six years.

1:22:50 Adam While you're pregnant with his child?

1:22:52 Guest Yeah.

1:22:53 Adam All right.

1:22:54 Guest Okay, so I didn't know that he had cheated on me with this girl yet until like the first night I moved in.

1:22:59 Drew But you knew you were broken up?

1:23:01 Guest Yeah, I knew we were broken up.

1:23:02 Drew So how could it be cheating if you're broken up?

1:23:04 Adam Because they did it before they broke up.

1:23:06 Drew Well, that's why you broke up.

1:23:08 Guest Yeah, we broke up for that reason, but I didn't know until that first night.

1:23:12 Drew This is why you don't get married in the early 20s. It's the kind of stuff that people want to do.

1:23:15 Adam Well, what do you mean you broke up for that reason, but you didn't know? He broke it off because he found somebody else.

1:23:20 Drew Yeah, and she didn't know that's why he broke it off.

1:23:21 Adam All right, go ahead, Lauren.

1:23:22 Guest Well, okay, so that first night that I was there, we had this big, tearful reunion, and he wanted to get back together with me. I found out about the woman and found out that she had planned to move several hundred miles to be near him.

1:23:37 Adam She had?

1:23:38 Guest Okay. Yeah, she had.

1:23:39 Caller He called her, told her what was up.

1:23:41 Adam Oh, really? He had just a tell-all, tearful reunion where he told you about the other girl?

1:23:48 Guest No, his friend ratted him out.

1:23:50 Adam I had that now.

1:23:51 Drew Coming into focus.

1:23:52 Adam Hold on a second. Yes.

1:23:54 Drew Yeah, there we go.

1:23:55 Adam Coming into a very-

1:23:57 Drew Yeah. We're like, what? He told you the truth and some sort of heartfelt-

1:24:05 Adam Didn't sound like a 22-year-old army jarhead. No. Turns out, buddy ratted him out. Probably trying to get in her pants.

1:24:12 Drew Absolutely. Of course.

1:24:13 Adam Right. All right. Hold on a second, Lauren. We got to take a break. We'll find out. You know, she's pregnant. She's with this guy. She busted him for cheating. Got ratted out. We'll figure it all out. We're going to figure it out after this. Hey, everybody. What's really going on, huh, Drew?

1:24:41 Drew I don't know.

1:24:42 Adam Well, I'll tell you what it is. We're gonna get it on.

1:24:45 Drew What it is?

1:24:45 Adam We're gonna get it on.

1:24:46 Drew All right, let's get it on.

1:24:48 Adam I was in Pebble Beach this weekend, and Shaft Marathon on, like, TNN.

1:24:55 Drew Oh, no, that's very funny.

1:24:56 Adam And you realize that some of these movies, these iconic movies from the 70s, really horrible. Just crap, like everything that came out of the 70s. Not only bad, not only bad writing and bad scripts and all that good stuff, bad acting, bad everything, but just bad editing, bad sound, horrible.

1:25:15 Drew Yeah, somehow tonight.

1:25:17 Adam And the song, I was just listening to the song, and I go, uh.

1:25:20 Drew Shut your mouth.

1:25:21 Adam Yeah, John Schaft. No, it's like, he's a complicated man, but no one, now, at the very beginning of the song, the guy's like, he goes, who's the private dick? Who's the sex machine to all the chicks? Schaft, can't dig it, you know? And then 10 seconds later, he goes, he's a complicated man, but no one understands him, but his woman. And it's like, well, wait a minute, does no one understand him, but his woman, or is he a sex machine to all the chicks? And I realized, well, he's both. He goes out and bangs everybody, and then he goes home and his woman understands him. And also understands she can't change the man. Fish gotta swim.

1:26:01 Drew He's a rambling man.

1:26:02 Adam The black guys don't ramble.

1:26:04 Drew That's right.

1:26:04 Adam They just get people pregnant and leave. They get people pregnant and they go to like Detroit or Chicago, but they don't ramble. White guys ramble. Not because we want to, but because we have to.

1:26:15 Drew He's a rolling stone.

1:26:17 Adam Yeah, Papa was a rolling stone. Still almost a little whitey in there. Black guys move on. Oh, they boogie. They gotta boogie.

1:26:26 Drew But here's the deal.

1:26:27 Adam Black guys gotta boogie. White guys have to ramble.

1:26:29 Drew Boogie on. Yeah, somehow tonight you've thrown me back into the emotions of the 70s.

1:26:34 Adam Yeah, it makes you very sad.

1:26:35 Drew Yeah, no, no, no, no. It's not sadness, it's dread. Dread, it was a horrible decade. Any of you think that was a fun time?

1:26:43 Adam He's a sex machine to all the chicks and no one understands him but his lady.

1:26:48 Drew Whatever is wrong with our society now is a result of the 70s.

1:26:52 Adam You wanna get depressed, go watch a movie that's shot in New York in like 1972.

1:26:57 Drew Yeah.

1:26:58 Adam I'll show you depressed, just a decaying city. Everything decaying. Everything in decaying.

1:27:03 Drew That's what we were trying to get work.

1:27:06 Adam No, I wasn't trying to get work.

1:27:08 Drew Why?

1:27:08 Adam I was hoping my NAD would drop. But listen, here's the thing. This is the doom and gloom thing because when you watch these, go watch one of these movies from the 70s, everything was decaying, they're falling apart. So people did the math. Well, they went, well, stuff's falling apart now and it's 1974.

1:27:26 Drew By 84.

1:27:27 Adam By, imagine year 2000. It's gonna be a smoking rubble. It's just gonna be rubble.

1:27:36 Drew But there was not even a sense that there, I mean, there was no future.

1:27:38 Adam There won't be anything. You'll be living underground. We'll be here.

1:27:40 Drew Right, that's right.

1:27:41 Adam No, no one thought, well, hey, maybe if we get our ass together, we can just fix things up. We can actually rebuild stuff, make it nice.

1:27:48 Drew No, it was all about things could be worse to the next generation, how are we gonna deal with the shrinkage and all that.

1:27:52 Adam That's right, the man. Lauren?

1:27:56 Drew You're pregnant, your boyfriend's had a reunion, he's called off the other chick, what's the deal? What's the question?

1:28:00 Adam You moved in, are you living with him now? What's the deal?

1:28:03 Guest No, no, no, actually I live with my dad and he lives in his place still and they stayed friends and I got a relationship.

1:28:13 Adam They meaning this person he had the relationship with.

1:28:15 Caller The girl that he had the relationship with.

1:28:18 Guest Well, they stayed friends and she, I got mad with him and we kind of had a break up for about a week. He was in love with her and now she's pregnant.

1:28:31 Drew Oh, this guy's great.

1:28:32 Adam This guy needs a NARDS hit with a fungal bat. What?

1:28:38 Guest He did admit to the pregnancy with me. He told me what had happened.

1:28:42 Drew So what's the question?

1:28:43 Adam And by the way, look, you come in clean after doing something horrible and being pressed and caught dead to ride. People look at this as admirable. It's like, well, what he did is bang this other chick and he got her pregnant too and he got me pregnant. And then I found out about, because one of his friends told him, but he was open, he was honest about it. Yeah, you caught him.

1:29:05 Drew The fact that people are open and honest should be matter of fact. The fact that people deny things they've actually done is really unbelievable. But okay, so he's honest. Good, he gets a little credit for that.

1:29:16 Adam He's honest when he gets caught.

1:29:17 Drew Yeah, that's all right. All right, but the scary thing is that people don't even expect people to be honest then. That's unbelievable, but okay. So he gets a little brownie point for that that does not relinquish him of the responsibility for bringing an ass.

1:29:28 Adam Well, he's a complicated man, but no one understands him but his lady.

1:29:32 Drew So what's the question?

1:29:34 Guest My guy is a cheater. My question is, I'm kind of excited about this baby. We're back together now.

1:29:42 Drew Your current baby, your baby.

1:29:44 Adam Yeah.

1:29:45 Guest No, his new baby.

1:29:46 Drew With the other girl.

1:29:47 Guest I'm excited about my baby too. Yeah, the other girl's baby.

1:29:49 Drew You're excited about it?

1:29:51 Guest Well, it took me a couple weeks to come down, but I'm actually kind of excited about it and everybody thinks that that's insane.

1:29:59 Adam Well, hold on a second.

1:30:01 Drew You want what?

1:30:03 Guest Well, you know, my son's gonna have a little sister.

1:30:06 Caller I just, I don't want to fight.

1:30:09 Adam You're very mature. We don't trust it. But what is she gonna do? Who's gonna raise the kid?

1:30:15 Caller She's gonna raise the kid.

1:30:19 Drew This is primitive man. This is primitive man. This is the alpha male with his little harem.

1:30:23 Adam Right, she's gonna.

1:30:24 Drew And Lauren wants to be a part of that.

1:30:25 Adam She's gonna raise the kid and what are you gonna do?

1:30:29 Guest I don't know how my relationship with him will progress that we've.

1:30:33 Drew This is very primitive, very primitive.

1:30:36 Adam Well, I don't understand what you're excited about if your boyfriend nailed somebody else and got them pregnant and now she's gonna see that kid through to full term and what are you gonna do? What's your role gonna be?

1:30:53 Drew Lead wife, lead wife.

1:30:55 Adam You'll be number one?

1:30:55 Drew Number one wife.

1:31:00 Adam Well, what is your plan? I mean, I understand, why do you have to be a part of the new kid's life?

1:31:08 Guest I guess I always grew up with step-parents. Yeah, actually the man that I'm living with now is not my father. He's my ex-stepfather who raised me.

1:31:21 Drew Raised you, raped you or raised you? Raised me.

1:31:25 Adam Raised me. Okay, okay, Lauren, look, this is what we call cluster F in the business.

1:31:33 Drew Adam, let's stand back and be a little bit.

1:31:35 Adam You take care of your kid.

1:31:38 Drew Here's the deal.

1:31:38 Adam I don't trust this guy. I don't like this guy.

1:31:41 Drew In ancient Egypt and parts of Utah. And nomadic tribes in the Mesopotamian region at one time, these things work, so there's a primitive aspect of the human being that can tolerate this.

1:31:52 Adam Lauren.

1:31:52 Drew That what we call healthy.

1:31:54 Adam It's a disaster. Look, you're keeping a stiff upper lip, I appreciate it, but the wheels are gonna come off this wagon soon.

1:32:00 Drew Because of him. Here's what you need to do.

1:32:04 Adam I don't trust him, I don't like him, and he's not given me any cause to think anything else about him. You need to focus on the kid you have right now and try not to raise them in the same Cuisinart you got raised in. And no more god damn kids, do you understand me?

1:32:19 Guest Please, I don't want any more kids.

1:32:22 Adam I know you don't want any, but that means you're only gonna have seven. No more.

1:32:27 Drew And the fact is, you can't tolerate intimacy, you need to have a capacity for intimacy from somebody who's actually available and not a Rolling Stone.

1:32:33 Adam No more kids, don't scrub the one you have and see if you can keep him out of jail before he turns 15. And this guy, don't expect anything out of him. Please, no more sex with him.

1:32:42 Drew Yes.

1:32:43 Adam All right, we'll be back after this.

1:32:45 Caller All right, guys, bottom line, here's the deal.

1:32:48 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

1:32:50 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:32:52 Drew Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

1:33:07 Caller Hour brought you a part by Axe. Experience the Axe Effect.

1:33:28 Adam Drew's gonna drive his car off a cliff tonight.

1:33:31 Drew Too much reliving my youth.

1:33:33 Adam Sorry, buddy boy. We're gonna get it together tomorrow night.

1:33:35 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:33:36 Adam I'll tell you that much. Tell you what, we got John Hensley here tonight. Tomorrow night, I should say, from Nip Tuck. Very successful cable show, Drew. Very. We'll take ourselves a quick 22-hour break and until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew, saying, Mahalo.

1:33:56 Drew Loveline.

1:33:59 Adam The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, August 15, 2004