Episode 1000638069637

0:59 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:14 Voiceover Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist, Wesley and Douglas here tonight from Of Mudd. Good to see you guys. Thanks. We, I decided somehow that the band hadn't been in a long time. That's what I thought. Arbitrarily. I think you thought it because I decided a couple days ago. Once in a while, every six guests who comes on the show just randomly, I say, huh, we haven't seen them in a while. What's up with them? Yeah, where they been? Well, Wesley says they were in seven months ago.

1:51 Drew They were definitely in this studio, so it had to be less than a year or so.

1:56 Adam Well, anyway. Where are you guys? Oh, no. You've only been coming for seven months. Well, good to see you.

2:02 Drew I just saw them at CNN today. We were in the same studio, basically.

2:06 Adam What were you doing over there, Drew?

2:07 Drew I go with them about three times a week.

2:10 Adam Really? Yeah. Doing what? Giving people shots and emptying garbage?

2:13 Drew Yeah, emptying garbage mostly. Shining some shoes.

2:16 Adam What was Of Mudd doing there?

2:19 Interviews. We were talking to Brooke on CNN actually.

2:24 Adam Oh, you were?

2:25 Yeah. Talking about...

2:27 Adam Life On Display, by the way, is the name of the CD, which we're going to hear a couple things off of. Also, they're going to be with Nickelback at The Greek coming up on the 26th of August. And just found out before the show started, going on a tour, going to Germany, going to Iraq. Yes?

2:46 Puddle Of Mudd Wild. A little spooky.

2:48 Adam Playing for the troops, right? Is that the only thing you can do? That's all you can do there, right?

2:53 Puddle Of Mudd Those guys are over there, the men and women are over there in 120 degree heat with full gear on and backpacks and combat boots and they're sweating their brains off in the shade and the least you could do is go over there and play some rock music for them and let them have a good time. So that's what we're doing.

3:12 Adam That's commendable.

3:14 Drew We gotta go over there. We do.

3:15 Adam Go ahead.

3:16 Puddle Of Mudd Go over there and hang out with the boys and the girls and have a good time doing it. They deserve it for sure.

3:24 Adam I don't want to correct you but I think it's more like 130 over there now.

3:29 Puddle Of Mudd That's in the shade. I was just talking about in the shade it's 120.

3:32 Adam Oh yeah, it's 130 as soon as you step out from under the palm frond. But it's probably dipped down into the 120s, high teens in the shade by the time you guys get there. You can look for a break. Oh, at night it gets down to 111, 113.

3:46 Puddle Of Mudd I got to tell you, I ran into this soldier from, you know, he was there and he was in the airport sitting there and I was talking to him and he was cold. It was like 72 degrees in the airport, cool temperature but this guy was like, yeah man, it's like 120 in the shade over there. I'm freezing right now. I'm just glad to be going home. I'm gonna keep back out in the heat.

4:13 Adam Yeah, you know, I got a couple theories about this. First off, I couldn't imagine that place with an ocean breeze and 74 degrees. I would be miserable. In Iraq? At 130, I would have to put the gun in my mouth. Yeah, Iraq.

4:29 Drew It just shouldn't have that.

4:31 Adam Well, heat can take a situation that's bad and make it unbearable. You know what I mean? If you're doing some manual labor, you're working, you're doing some construction, you're up on a roof. If it's 85 degrees, it's a tough job to get your hands dirty. If it's 115, it's the end of the world. I would imagine the same with wearing full camis and combats and body armor and all this kind of stuff and just walking through essentially a giant ashtray. Well, let's not make it, let's make a giant cat box. That's the way I look at it. And then I start thinking, everything that has to do with when stuff goes to the desert, it gets mean because it has to get mean to survive. Like cactus, look at a cactus, everybody.

5:10 Drew Rattlesnakes.

5:11 Adam Picture cactus and picture daisies. Yeah, all this.

5:16 Drew Rattlesnakes, bobcats.

5:18 Adam The lizards are covered with spikes. And then you got like sidewinders. And everything is just, look, you're gonna get eaten and there's no water. It's every goddamn living creature for themselves or you're dead. And if you look good and you're pretty, we don't care. You're going down. You better cover yourself with spikes. And I just wonder if the people that have to endure that, what's so different between them and the cactus?

5:43 Drew Right, they get a little spiny?

5:45 Adam You gotta get a little prickly. You don't see a lot of doughy, zoftic sort of pink cheeks. We grab their cheeks.

5:53 Drew That's not the land of polka.

5:55 Adam No, they don't have time. They don't have time for polka. They don't have steam baths and they don't get rubbed down. They don't have time for all the extras in life.

6:07 Drew What you're saying is your wife couldn't go there.

6:10 Adam She would kill herself. It would be great. I'd collect the insurance. No, I'm just saying.

6:15 Drew By the way, did you hear that kind of behavior? Did you hear Amber Fry today? The tapes with her voice on it?

6:21 Adam I heard it was squeaky and it made me think of you, Drew.

6:23 Drew Four-year-old girl.

6:24 Adam Oh, really? Drew, that usually means molestation on this show. But, all right, let's focus on Of Mudd. All right, so going on tour, been touring, Greek, and then you're actually going to Iraq to entertain the troops.

6:41 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, and Germany, and Bosnia.

6:44 Oh, Bosnia.

6:45 Adam Now, is Germany, Bosnia is a troop thing. Is Germany a troop thing, Drew?

6:49 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, it's all troops. Rockin the troops tour.

6:54 Adam We got a lot of troops in Germany and always seem to have. I know it's sort of a Soviet thing for a while.

7:01 Drew But as you said, it takes a while to let go of what happened.

7:06 Adam Yeah, listen, I think we ought to hit Germany one more time. That's my plan. My plan is a preemptive strike on Germany.

7:14 Puddle Of Mudd Those are for all the troops coming back from Iraq.

7:18 Adam Yeah, let them stop over there and just drop a few things.

7:22 I'll tell you what though, we got to Hamburg the first time we ever went to Europe. We left September 10th from Manhattan. We got to Hamburg September 11th. It all went down and we drove to Berlin that night. This concert was canceled. When we got there, the hotel was right next to the Army Embassy, the US Embassy. There's guys with machine guns. I've never seen an outpouring. They were walking to the embassy with American flags, airbrushed on their jeans and crying.

7:48 Adam Oh, really?

7:49 They were walking to the American Embassy on September 11th. I don't think they'd see it coming.

7:56 Adam That's right. That's my point.

7:57 Puddle Of Mudd There's good people everywhere.

7:59 They love Americans, but they're bad people, too.

8:02 Adam God bless them. All right. We're ready to go to the phones? Yes. Let's do it. Amy, you're 18. What's up?

8:12 Caller Yes. I've been dating my fiance for three years now.

8:16 Adam Let me say this. Let me say this about 130-degree temperature. When you're a chick in Iraq, and you've got the full-blown black burka... By the way, don't they have white? Black's a pain in the sun, but you're covered head to toe. I mean, it's like you're in a mascot outfit. Could you do any worse than you looking through a slit just barely to peek through and say, at least you're not getting beaten by the sun. But I mean, it does seem like a, it may be cycling shorts and a tube top.

8:48 Drew Yeah, of all the lands to take on that cultural garb.

8:52 Adam It really is. To the ladies like here, bad news and worse news. Bad news, it's 128 degrees in the summer. Worse news, we're not gonna be able to see any skin.

9:01 Drew Covered all the time.

9:02 Adam Covered all the time. Put some gloves on.

9:04 Drew With drapery.

9:05 Adam Yeah, as a matter of fact, cover yourself in foil. Slather on some margarine, put some foil around you like a corn cop going on a barbecue. Then hang the two-stage drapery over you. Go ahead. And by the way, guys, don't worry. We'll grow beards like Santa. Yeah, that's great. That's a great strategy. It's 130 degrees. I got a beard like Dan Haggerty. Could you imagine? No. What are you doing? Do you hate your face? Like, you know, you get a little beard going and it gets hot, it gets sticky, you get stuff in it, it gets dusty. It's tan lines. Dust blowing around, you get a crazy tan line. And you got a crazy, those big cleric beards.

9:43 Drew The beard is designed for Alaskan environments. Yes.

9:46 Adam North Pole. Keep your puss warm when you got arctic wind blowing over the tundra. It's free. It's burning over there. You got, you got really, you got a 70s NBA fro stuck to the bottom of your chin and neck. That's great.

10:01 Drew And it's 130.

10:02 Adam Here you go, it's 130. Let me get, let me get.

10:04 Drew And the sand, dust blowing everywhere.

10:05 Adam Let me get Dr. Jay's fro from 1974. I'm gonna cut a little mouth hole in it and I'm gonna stick it on the front of your face. That's great. What a way to beat the heat. Fantastic. You guys are geniuses. There's something, we call them shorts. You guys know? Nothing? No? Still with the hat? Okay. Yeah, Dr. Dre's fro is gonna be stuck on the front of your face. We're gonna need a beach towel. We're gonna wrap that up around your head. Okay. Then here's-

10:31 Drew Well, it's actually, it's a carpet.

10:32 Adam Here's some carpet.

10:33 Drew Probably too light.

10:34 Adam Yeah, it's a remanence here. We're gonna wrap these carpet remnants around your head. Feel any heat escaping anywhere through your ears? Let's fill those with spackle. And then put something black on. Put a whole bunch of black stuff on. And oh no, we don't have air conditioning. You're gonna lie down on the floor. Is this strategy? These beards? All right. It kind of makes you wonder if they're just kind of looking for-

10:57 Drew No, no.

10:57 Adam Are they trying to flog themselves a little bit?

10:59 Drew Maybe, maybe. Let's finish with that.

11:01 Adam I'm not done. Hold on. Maybe the people, the same way, okay, you blow yourself up. You go up to, you go with the 72 Virgins. Maybe life's not supposed to be easy. Maybe you're supposed to flog yourself a little bit.

11:14 Drew Well as you and I know-

11:15 Adam You know what I'm saying? That's a lot of religion is kind of about flogging yourself a little bit.

11:19 Drew Well, but as you and I know that people reenact trauma in their life and if you're-

11:23 Adam Dad had a huge Dr. J type fro beard.

11:26 Drew If he beat on you, you'll beat on yourself some way. You'll find some way to do that.

11:32 Adam Amy? Yes. Yeah, because if they like themselves a little more, they'd be wearing, they'd be wearing tank tops and tees, right? And like shorts and- Go ahead, Amy.

11:42 Okay. Well, I've been dating my fiance for three years now. We're getting married when I graduate high school. We just had a kid last year and I took his virginity when we first started dating.

11:53 Caller Well, like-

11:55 Drew Can you really take a guy's virginity? Is that possible? No.

11:58 Adam He blasts his virginity on you.

12:00 Drew Yes, right.

12:01 Adam You don't really take it. You get hit with it. I've had to duck to avoid some virginity. You get that like a camp? Pow! Virginity! Hit the deck! It's flying over your head, takes out a lighting picture. Yeah.

12:15 Drew So you have a kid dating you there?

12:19 Yeah, my phone's dying, so I'm trying to get my problem out.

12:21 Drew Real quick, go. Dating for three years with a kid.

12:27 After I took his virginity, he can only get off once and it's only on three minutes and he can't get up until the next day.

12:34 Drew Well, first of all, that has nothing to do with you taking his virginity, that's just his rhythm.

12:40 Caller Okay, I figured it was associated.

12:44 Adam You got a kid that you're raising?

12:46 Yeah, he's eight months old right now.

12:48 Drew Eight months old.

12:49 Adam All right, you've got to study hard to stay, because right now you're only about a year in the brains department ahead of the kid. You see, you've got to keep studying so you keep staying that much ahead of the child.

13:00 Drew Oh yeah, keep staying all the way through.

13:01 Adam See what I'm saying?

13:01 Drew But listen, you're being sexually active with him is why you're going to see him later.

13:10 Puddle Of Mudd Have fun.

13:11 Adam She must be glad I went on my long-winded diatribe about the Iraqis and the crazy beards with 130 degrees with the carpet on their head, but it is a little food for thought, right? I mean, you would just shave your head and your beard if you wanted to beat the heat, right?

13:26 Drew Take 96, he has an interesting question about, I'll propose to the guard.

13:29 Adam But Drew, what about my beard?

13:31 Drew But this may be a germane to that, line six.

13:33 Adam All right, okay, here's the whole thing though. No more kids, number one. She theoretically can hear us on our radio. No more kids. Number two, having sex with him doesn't have a lot to do with his function.

13:47 Drew Nothing. The fact that he can't respond again until the next morning, probably more to do with laziness than actuality. You know what I mean? Because a guy 18, unless he's 45 or something, but if he's 18 like she is, he should be good in about 30 minutes to go again.

14:03 Adam Yeah, but now you're causing trouble, Drew, because she's going to go to him with this.

14:07 Drew Yeah, but still. I'm just saying she ought to ask him to step up a little bit.

14:10 Puddle Of Mudd Step up to the plate.

14:12 Adam Do these guys need to be getting it on three times a day? They're going to have 28 kids.

14:16 Drew Or, he should masturbate first and then condom, condom, condom, condom. Why?

14:20 Adam He's going too fast?

14:20 Drew Yeah, that's what she said. She associates that with her having taken his virginity. That's why he left me, Jack.

14:27 Puddle Of Mudd He's a quick drama girl. Yeah.

14:29 Adam He took my virginity.

14:31 Drew You don't want to take the garb question?

14:33 Puddle Of Mudd Ten second, man.

14:34 Adam Oh, I don't know. Where is that?

14:35 Drew Six.

14:36 Adam Oh, six. I don't read. Dan?

14:40 Caller Hi.

14:41 Adam What's happening?

14:41 Caller It's an honor to talk to you guys.

14:43 Adam Good to talk to you, Dan. What's up?

14:45 Caller I was reading in the newspaper, and I've heard your rants about hospital gowns. And something popped out. Hospital gowns fitted to suit Muslims.

14:59 Adam Oh, all right. What Dan is talking about. Dan, are you a virgin, by the way?

15:04 Caller Yeah.

15:05 Drew At 20? I can hear that, too.

15:07 Adam It's all in the voice.

15:09 Drew Oh, yes.

15:09 Adam How many male 20-year-old virgins do we get over the course of a year?

15:13 Drew Rare, but when we hear them, we know them.

15:15 Adam I hear virginity in men.

15:17 Puddle Of Mudd God, man. You guys are on it.

15:18 Adam Because this guy's 20 and he sounds like a virgin, and we talk to 13-year-old guys like, yeah, I'll tell you what I learned about the burka for my travel. No, guys, voice changes. He gets more confident.

15:34 Drew It's a squirreliness.

15:36 Adam It almost, by the way, it's the first thing that tips the chicks off not to get down with you. Yeah. Yeah.

15:43 Drew Dance gotta be quiet. It's an interesting question. Is the maximum squirrely not eligible to lose his virginity? And that's why they sound so squirrely because that's why they didn't lose their virginity.

15:52 Adam You mean what came first, the chicken or the egg?

15:55 Drew Squirreliness or the lack of virginity?

15:56 Adam The squirreliness, we all started squirrely.

16:00 Drew But these guys are gonna be extra squirrely, which is why they-

16:02 Adam They're extra squirrely so they're being punished by the female populace. It's true. Guys, we don't have this because if this guy was squirrely but looked good, we'd be it. The female version of him would get plenty of action. I don't care what you sound like or if you're low mileage, hey, all the better. Dan?

16:24 Drew So the gowns, hospital gowns?

16:25 Adam Hospital gowns, yes. I've complained that I don't like the hospital gowns where they take your underpants and make you tie it in the back and your ass and balls are hanging out everywhere. But go ahead, Dan.

16:35 Drew Did Adam entertain the hospital with ass and sack humor for a couple hours before his surgery?

16:41 Caller Well, it says, the state medical center plans to redesign poorly fitting hospital gowns after administrators learned that many Muslim women were skipping appointments because of them. The gowns.

16:53 Adam The modesty. The Muslim women are modest and this gown doesn't protect them enough.

17:02 Caller The gown now leaves patients fully covered. Last year, the hospital learned that three of every ten Muslim women were skipping appointments because of the gowns.

17:11 Adam Yeah.

17:11 Drew Wow. Interesting.

17:13 Caller I feel like everybody would be skipping appointments because of those things.

17:17 Adam Well, most people figure their health is more important than showing a little cheek to a candy striper. Oh, Dan.

17:26 Drew No, that's not pot.

17:27 Adam That's not pot.

17:27 Drew No.

17:28 Adam You're just saying that because he's squirrely.

17:30 Drew That's not pot.

17:31 Adam Squirrely.

17:31 Drew All right.

17:31 Adam You don't smoke pot. Now, what's up with you, Dan? Why? What's up with the ladies?

17:35 Caller I don't know.

17:38 Drew Are you actually 20?

17:40 Caller Yeah, I am.

17:40 Adam I want you to practice not talking.

17:43 Drew I'm brooding. Practice brooding.

17:44 Adam I want you to brood. Dan, I'm going to get you late. Let's have a conversation where you don't talk, all right?

17:50 Caller All right.

17:50 Adam You grunt in a brooding, knowing way.

17:52 Caller All right.

17:54 Adam All right.

17:54 Drew Let's just start now.

17:55 Adam Are your arms crossed? All right. Good. That's good.

17:59 Drew Much better.

18:00 Adam All right. I'll be the chick. Hey, Dan. What's going? Yeah. What are you? Are you in a bad mood? I just ruined my panties. That's great. Well, what can I do to break through? I mean, it really seems like you're in a bad way. Yeah. Why weren't you doing that all along, Dan? Chicks love that. Don't be talking about hospital gowns and stuff you read on the Internet. By the way, here's the other thing, too. Chicks hate information. You get punished. The more you know, the more they punish you. You start talking about, hey, this is what I read on the Internet. Just sit there like you know nothing, fold your arms and brood, and see if you can be kind of bummed out, except for you're not going to tell them why. You can't let them in. You're mysterious. Yeah, troubled and mysterious, the mysterious is the stranger. Blown through town. He's got troubles, boy, but he won't share them with you.

19:04 Caller That's right.

19:04 Adam You want in, but he won't share them.

19:06 Caller You can't handle it.

19:07 Adam Yeah. And besides, I don't want to involve you.

19:10 Drew Okay. Now, should we hear a song or play Germany in Florida? Song or Germany in Florida?

19:15 Adam See how it works.

19:15 Puddle Of Mudd See that?

19:16 Adam That's sexy.

19:18 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah.

19:18 Adam Go ahead.

19:18 Drew Ask again. It forces you to keep asking things over and over again. Play a song or Germany in Florida?

19:23 Adam I don't know, man. I'm not in the mood for either one, man. No, man.

19:29 Drew Dude, you're grounded.

19:30 Adam I just need some time to think.

19:32 Drew Time out.

19:32 Adam That's another one, too. Tell chicks you need time to think and then don't think, but tell them you need that time. I just need time to think right now. And it starts to just, here's what you, you wouldn't understand.

19:44 Drew Oh.

19:45 Adam They're gone? Quiet. You wouldn't understand, I need time to think, and my old man was tough on me growing up. That's good, and then those are three things, and then you're fine, right?

19:57 Drew Yeah.

19:58 Adam All right. All right, let's hear Of Mudd's song. Should we do that?

20:02 Drew Yeah.

20:03 Adam All right, this is, how you doing there, Chris? Doing good? Night's Still Young.

20:08 Drew It's not his game tonight.

20:09 Adam I know, he's standing up, he's lucid. Life On Display, name of the CD, and the first one we're gonna hear tonight is called Spin Your Ramp. Boy, man, I'll tell you, this show is better when we're off the air. Heated, everybody. Of Mudd here tonight. Get into that, well, all right. We gotta take some calls, Drew. We gotta take a break. We gotta take some calls. Oh, man, this game is sweeping, sweeping the nation. I mean, when you guys get to Germany, they'll probably.

24:57 Drew They'll talk about this game.

24:58 Adam Oh, they'll be talking about Germany or Florida, yeah. We'll explain the rules and all that. Wesleyan Douglas here tonight from Of Mudd. Life on display. Name of the CD. We'll be right back after this.

25:09 Caller Loveline.

25:11 Caller Oh, my hair, my hair.

25:13 Caller We'll be right back.

25:15 Before the Olympic Games begin.

25:26 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Wesleyan Douglas, are here tonight. Puddle of Mudd, name of the band, life on display, name of the CD. And we'll hear something else off of that in the 11 o'clock hour. All right, now, it's time to play the game that is sweeping the nation, although we have to explain it to every kind of guest. It's swept the nation, but we'll explain it anyway.

25:54 Drew These guys have been on tour, they've been away about the country.

25:55 Adam They've been away, they've been away. Germany or Florida, here's how the game goes. All bizarre stories. And I learned this sitting at the Jimmy Kimmel writers' table for about a year, that every bizarre story that ever comes down the pike comes out either Germany or Florida. And now these aren't the, I'm not talking about the chick with 50 cats, I'm talking about the guy who cut off his own toes, fried it up and ate it.

26:21 Drew That's exactly the story I was thinking.

26:23 Adam Really? Well, more recent, more recent. That's one of the more recent ones we have.

26:28 Drew It's weird.

26:29 Puddle Of Mudd That makes me quiver, man.

26:30 Adam All right, it's freaky. Now, that comes from either Germany or Florida. So, they ask the question, they give us the call, and they tell us the story, and then we decide, is it Germany or Florida? Joshua?

26:43 Yeah, I have Germany or Florida for you.

26:45 Adam Go ahead.

26:47 Last year, police were summoned to a fight between a man and a familiar prostitute. Apparently, the man was being attacked by the hooker when, in his search for a good time, he was recognized by his wife, who, unbeknownst to him, was working secretly as a prostitute. Germany or Florida?

27:03 Adam Working secretly as a prostitute.

27:05 Drew That could be either.

27:06 Adam But it wasn't her that gave him the beating. It was just another girl who was on the beat, I mean, walking around.

27:14 Drew Is that true?

27:16 Puddle Of Mudd Germany, man, for sure.

27:17 Drew Wait, wait, the wife beat him?

27:20 No, I don't think so.

27:22 Adam He was with a familiar prostitute when he'd frequented him before.

27:24 Drew If the wife beat him up, that'd be Florida.

27:27 Puddle Of Mudd I think it's Germany, for sure.

27:29 Adam Wesley says Germany, and this could be either place. Feels a little German to me, I don't know why.

27:35 Drew Yeah, me too, a little German, too.

27:35 Adam Well, who you, Doug?

27:38 Caller I think it's on the reaper bond in Germany.

27:40 Puddle Of Mudd It's somewhere in Hamburg.

27:41 Adam All right, we all go in Germany? Really?

27:45 Drew If the wife is beating him up, it's Florida.

27:47 Caller Then that's cops in Florida.

27:49 Adam I'm going Florida. But you're right, the wife would have started cracking him. I'm going Florida just to mix it up. Joshua? All right, thank you.

28:01 Puddle Of Mudd High five.

28:02 Adam Now here's the whole thing about this. Now, and we've played this game many times.

28:06 Puddle Of Mudd I'm kicking the butt.

28:08 Adam Germany was everyone's answer.

28:09 Drew You was yours too. You're never wrong.

28:11 Adam It would have been my first one, but just to mix it up.

28:15 Drew Yeah, yeah, I understand.

28:15 Adam And listen, it could have been Florida, but for some reason it smelled like Germany. I don't know how that works. We're about 90% on this thing, maybe a little bit higher, maybe 93%. Why is that? Why did that smell like Germany to everybody? Is it the first one that somebody yells at?

28:32 Drew No.

28:32 Adam People don't disagree that often either. Somebody says Florida, everyone nods their head. Yep, that's what I was thinking.

28:38 Drew It was the casualness of the prostitute.

28:41 Adam Well, he frequents the same one. Right.

28:44 Drew And then a place he could frink with that the wife could slip on into did not sound like a US thing.

28:50 Adam No, here we sweep them up too fast. All right, that's right, all right. Anne?

28:57 Caller Hi.

28:57 Adam You're 17?

29:01 Caller Okay, you guys are gonna think this is really strange, but for like the past 12 years, I've had this like weird habit where when I get stressed out and stuff, I pull my hair out.

29:11 Drew Why would we think that's strange? Because it's.

29:15 Adam We get that call all the time.

29:17 Drew Yeah, it's a very common symptom. It's called trichotillomania. And there are medications.

29:22 Adam Write a song about it.

29:24 Drew Some of the serotonin reuptake drugs.

29:25 Adam You gotta rhyme with something with trichotillomania.

29:28 Drew Help quite a bit with this. So you ought to, of course, one of the things you do is reduce stress in your life, find other ways to manage stress, but if this is a compulsion that you cannot stop, you start having bald spots or pulling your eyelashes out, that kind of thing, you need a medication.

29:40 Adam I got the answer. You do one of those sort of cheap rhymes, but it still works. You go that trichotillomania, driving me insane-ia. You know what I'm saying? You're tweaking a little bit. You can tweak insane-ia. People would know. Insane-ia.

29:57 Drew In a gotta divita.

29:59 Adam In a gotta divita. Anne?

30:02 Drew Uh-huh.

30:03 Adam All right, so you're talking at the hair.

30:06 Drew Get it checked out, okay? Yeah, okay. People go to quite great lengths with this one, pull their eyebrows out, their eyelashes, create bald spots in their head.

30:14 Adam Hey, you wanna work on my eyebrows?

30:16 Drew Oh my God, it was just an endless supply.

30:18 Adam Yeah, because I don't hit them. If I don't hit them twice a month, they'll become one. Trying to drive that golden spike from.

30:26 Puddle Of Mudd Check your tracheotelomania.

30:28 Adam Yeah.

30:29 Puddle Of Mudd Immediately run to the doctor.

30:31 Adam Hey, Anne? All right, go see somebody.

30:34 Drew There you go.

30:35 Adam All right, baby doll. Let's see, not as weird as she thought. Shelly?

30:39 Yeah.

30:40 Adam 27?

30:41 Yeah.

30:42 Adam What's happening? All right, what's your question?

30:46 My question is, I actually got a love question for the guy at the Puddle of Mudd.

30:49 Adam Great.

30:50 Caller I've been hearing that they are going over to Iraq and just wanted to know if that was confirmed and how each of them feel about going over there.

30:57 Puddle Of Mudd Yes, I think it is confirmed. And at first, I thought it was a little spooky. And this is Wes. And now I'm a little bit more comfortable with it. And just to, I feel good going over there and rocking for the people that have been in there 130 degrees sun, so.

31:16 Caller It's the least we can do for them.

31:18 Adam And I'm sure, you know, the Army, first off, it would be, it's horrible publicity if some celebrity goes over there and doesn't make it back. And you never hear about it happening. I'm not jinxing you guys. But here's what I'm saying.

31:31 Drew Thanks, man. It's a battle.

31:33 Adam What I'm saying is, is they have experience. This is one thing the Army doesn't screw up. It seems to me, since Bob Hope was heading over there.

31:41 Drew Except when they had a transport plane in Bosnia and the secretary, what was Brown, the secretary of the Interior went down. Except for that.

31:48 Adam If he was in a ban.

31:50 Drew Never would have happened.

31:51 Adam Wouldn't have happened.

31:52 Drew I'm just thinking about Iraq.

31:54 Puddle Of Mudd Let's hope there's not a first.

31:55 Drew Does Iraq and Virginia, are those same people?

32:00 Adam You mean like, instead of Iraq?

32:01 Drew Iraq, Iraq.

32:02 Adam Iraq. Oh, like if you say I.

32:04 Drew It's Iraq and Virginia.

32:06 Adam Virginia, yeah, maybe. Might be the same guy. Might be the same person that says nuh-huh or nuh-uh.

32:14 Drew Or is it certain regions, Iraq? Because she's from Arizona, she lives from Arizona. But you're not originally from Arizona, are you, Shelly?

32:20 Caller No, I'm originally from Minnesota.

32:22 Drew That sounds better.

32:24 Puddle Of Mudd There's those guys calling out the.

32:25 Adam Same winter though, right?

32:27 Caller Yeah.

32:28 Drew Yeah, Arizona winter, Minnesota winter.

32:29 Adam Same place. Where in Arizona are you?

32:33 Caller I'm in Peoria.

32:34 Adam Is it?

32:35 Drew I'm in Peoria.

32:36 Adam See, there you go. Do we need two Peorias? Do you know what I'm saying?

32:41 Caller It's about 20 miles from Phoenix.

32:42 Drew Phoenix, all right, Phoenix.

32:45 Adam How hot was it today? Did it get up to like 118?

32:48 Caller Right about there. It felt pretty hot.

32:51 Drew It's in the teens routinely.

32:53 Adam Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you move there? I mean, look, Minnesota, that's its own Arctic extreme, but why then go to Arizona and.

33:03 Caller You don't have the humidity. It's just dry heat.

33:06 Adam I know, but.

33:07 Drew No, no, no.

33:07 Adam Shelly, please.

33:09 Drew Shelly, I was in Phoenix two weeks ago. Dry or wet, brutal. Didn't matter.

33:13 Adam I can get my oven is dry heat. Still good enough to cook a meatloaf. Still cook ya. We don't cook ya with moist heat, you know. We cook ya. Jet engine, that ain't dry. That's not wet heat. That's just dry heat. You know, flamethrowers, Bunsen burners, dry heat. Sterno cans.

33:31 Drew No moisture there.

33:32 Adam It's all dry heat. All enough to take your skin off. I mean, yeah, okay, but at what point?

33:37 Drew Douglas loves that Bunsen burner here. Keep going with that, Adam.

33:41 Adam Once you get up to like 138, does it make a difference? That's what I'm asking.

33:47 Drew Yeah, but I have to ask myself, why did humans establish cities and towns in these godforsaken places? It's just amazing.

33:55 Adam Bad luck. It's amazing. A, I think like just wagons broke down and people just squatted.

34:01 Drew Yeah, squatted.

34:02 Adam Freeland, they must have found some gold or something at a certain point.

34:05 Drew Trade routes kind of thing.

34:07 Adam I also, I'm also going back to my sort of religious retardism thing with the Iraqis over there. Iraqis, you know what I'm saying? I think they like to flog themselves a little. A lot of these people were religious pioneers.

34:22 Drew Civilization started in that part of the world. That's where we got started.

34:25 Adam Yeah, there you go.

34:25 Drew It was a little different when we started there, but that's where civilization started.

34:29 Adam Well, that's the birds. They just crapped out some human seeds in that part of the world, and that's where we grew.

34:35 Drew I see.

34:36 Adam That's how it works.

34:37 Drew Oh, really?

34:38 Adam Well, that's my understanding. I barely got through North Hollywood High, but that's the way I understand it. Steven? You're 20? Hey. What's up? Doing good. What's going on?

34:53 Caller Drew, well, first I want to say thanks for, I've been listening to you guys for a while now, and Drew, you've gave me so much advice, and I just want to thank you for that, off the bat.

35:03 Drew Oh, my pleasure. What's happening now, Steven?

35:06 Caller Well, my father is addicted to some prescription medicine. He's got a problem with Zomaz and Vicodin, and just today we actually found out that he's trying something else.

35:24 Drew Well, Soma is really a tough drug to get off. People don't make much of that.

35:28 Adam What do you do with Soma?

35:29 Drew The withdrawal is miserable. It actually, we've been recently seeing a lot of this.

35:33 Adam What's it for?

35:33 Drew It's a muscle relaxant. It's actually converted into meprabamate, which used to be called Miltounce.

35:38 Adam Oh, I'm just gonna get that.

35:40 Drew Yeah, your liver converts it right into Miltounce, and it is a very difficult drug to detox from. It takes about two weeks, and people get what's called akathisia. They're moving, like their body can't, like their engine's going, and they want to punch things. It's like you all the time, Adam, really. Except your engine's not going. If they actually turned your engine on and you wanted to punch things, that's what it would be like.

35:56 Adam Well, you know who we get punched first?

35:58 Drew I know, of course I know, yes. The nearest seat, I'll be sitting over there.

36:02 Adam That's right.

36:03 Drew And then the opiate withdrawal obviously is pretty miserable, so he needs to get in the hospital and get treated.

36:07 Caller I mean, this has been going on, I'll tell you how it started, actually.

36:14 Adam Well, hold on a second, Stephen. Just because we gotta go to break, and we don't care how it starts.

36:19 Drew It always starts with a back surgery.

36:20 Adam Someone gets an injury at work, and then they get hooked on something. They're not bad people, but they just end up this way.

36:25 Drew And they have to understand the need to get off. They don't see it, they don't have insight, they don't realize, they're in denial.

36:30 Caller He thinks we're the bad guys.

36:33 Drew Right, of course.

36:33 Adam Well, look, why don't you hook up with your mom?

36:37 Drew There's Delamo Treatment Center out there in Redondo by you guys. Give them a call. Delamo Treatment Center in Torrance, okay? They're very, very good.

36:44 Adam Tell them Dr. Drew sent you and get 20% off your first night's stay. Is that true, Drew? And you get the tote, you get the tote bag.

36:54 Drew Fanny pack.

36:55 Adam Fanny pack, that's $29 value. It's yours free for just coming in and checking out the Delamo Treatment Center. If you say, Dr. Drew, if you say he sent you and you heard it on this show, yes?

37:08 Drew You know, I once was retarded enough to bring a 7-Up can to Six Flags because they said they'd give you like $10, $4 off or something.

37:15 Adam I remember, I do remember that campaign. Six Flags, Magic Mountain out here. Back before it was Six Flags or anything, it was just Magic Mountain. It was, bring it, bring it, empty.

37:27 Drew Empty Diet 7-Up, I think it was.

37:28 Adam No, it's just a 7-Up. They probably said 7-Up or Diet 7-Up can and you get like $4 off the price of admission, which was probably $12 or $16.

37:37 Drew So I plopped the can down and the guy says, what's this? Really, he was like, what are you doing? It's $4 off, so.

37:45 Adam This can $4 off everyone, right?

37:47 Drew That was the price of admission was $4 off. Yeah, yeah. But he was angry that I put a can down in the little windows. Like, what are you doing?

37:53 Adam I like when they make it humiliating, like give the Tom Turkey gobble and it's like, gobble gobble, I didn't hear you. Gobble gobble gobble, my hearing's not so good. Could you bring it up a little? Yeah, like sometimes where you actually have to say the person's name, the DJ's name, but Drew, at least you got out to Magic Mountain there, buddy. They didn't have anything back then, though, did they?

38:15 Drew Can't even remember the long time ago.

38:17 Adam It was before they had any of the Batman rides or anything. Drew would pull in and five guys would come out and shake the car and then he'd pay him $12 and go home. Is that how it worked?

38:28 Drew Yeah, that was pretty rough riding that day.

38:30 Adam It'd just jump up and down on the bumper. And that was exciting, that's all we had. Yeah, and eventually they worked a log flume into it where the guy would spray the windshield with a hose, while the same guys jumped up and down on the bumper of the car. And then you drove home. And I think they'd give you a snow cone or something.

38:45 Drew Big thrill in them days.

38:46 Adam Yeah. All right everyone, Of Mudd in the studio tonight. Douglas and Wes here from the band. We'll take a quick break. When we come back, Drew.

38:57 Drew Take line one.

38:58 Adam Line one.

38:59 Drew From North Hollywood.

39:00 Adam Joseph from my hometown in North Hollywood likes girls to abuse him. I'll tell you, you like abuse. North Hollywood's your place. Lots of mean people waiting to die or perhaps abuse you before they go on the ground. That's fantastic. You go to North Hollywood. Hey, I hook them up to my family.

39:18 Drew But this is more evidence of how people reenact trauma. You grow up around trauma, you reenact it.

39:23 Adam You go to high school, you get a little abuse. You go home, you get a little abuse. I'm gonna get some abuse. Go down, head down toward like Roscoe and Sherman Way. That's where they're really dealing out some of the abuse out there. Yeah. All right, I'll give them all the abuse hotspots in North Hollywood. Take a quick break. We'll be right back.

39:44 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

39:46 Adam Hey buddy, it's Adam.

39:46 Drew And I'm Dr. Drew.

39:47 Adam Here to talk about Axe Deodorant Body Spray.

39:50 Drew Yes, sir.

39:51 Adam You spray that on, you give stink the axe. Ha! Doug and Wes here tonight. They switched seats.

40:12 Drew I'm confused.

40:13 Puddle Of Mudd Magical chairs.

40:16 Adam Of Mudd, name of the band. Uh-oh, I think they may have gotten stoned. No.

40:22 Puddle Of Mudd No.

40:24 Adam I heard a pot laugh come from what? They're just.

40:27 Drew There may be leftover, though.

40:28 Adam It could be leftover? From like six o'clock tonight? All right, I just heard.

40:33 Puddle Of Mudd We'll watch ourselves even now.

40:34 Adam I heard the pot laugh, that's all I'm saying. All right, listen, doesn't mean they can't rock. Yeah. And in I rock, yes, Drew? E rock. I mean, E rock. E rock. E rock. All right, so we're moving forward with the show. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Here's a little dilemma we have. Drew and I both got a couple bottles of wine, actually one bottle of wine from the folks at Westwood One for doing a little work for him. I took them both. I decided they were both mine because I do all the work when it comes to anything.

41:07 Drew We also do all the wine drinking.

41:08 Adam And I do all the boozing, so I figured I'd take them both. Drew decided he liked one a little better than the other. Drew, who speaks French fluently, is a well-seasoned traveler, and a bit of a connoisseur as well as a part-time opera singer, said-

41:23 Drew Rock on tour.

41:24 Adam Oh, these are, yes, these are great vintages, these are very expensive bottles.

41:28 Drew Another rare bottle, they must be.

41:30 Adam Rare, rare, so now, here's what we need to do. We need to find out how much.

41:33 Drew Let me go.

41:34 Adam And then I'll just take the more expensive one. Okay. All right, that seems fair. That's fair. Unless you want the other one more, in which case I'll take the cheaper one, just because you want it more. But only if it's a few dollars. Well, Chris could look it up.

41:47 Drew Le L'Ouvert, Chris.

41:48 Adam Chris, could you look it up?

41:49 Drew Chateau Le L'Ouvert.

41:50 Adam Yeah, I'm handing the bottle. Now, this is a month's work for you, do you understand? So if you drop it, you're pro bono for the next month, do you understand? You can trust me. All right, all right, you got it? All right, look that up. There's something going on in the back there. It's just where they got the wine and stuff. I wanna find out how much. See what they think of us, by the way. Westwood One, guys, better hope it ain't $9.95. And I'll just take the more expensive one, even if I don't like it. Joseph? Yeah. You're 16? Yeah. Oh yeah, you're from North Hollywood. Oh yeah. Yeah, speak up a little, please. Get into that phone. Where do you live? Where do you live in North Hollywood?

42:29 Caller I live right in the border of Sun Valley and North Hollywood.

42:33 Adam That's the only people, the only people on the planet that wish they lived in North Hollywood are the people in Sun Valley.

42:42 Caller Well, it's not that bad over here. It's pretty great.

42:45 Adam It's great?

42:45 Drew Great?

42:46 Adam Where are you from, Beirut?

42:48 Drew What was the temperature in Iraq? What was the temperature there today?

42:51 Caller It was kind of hot, but not as usual.

42:54 Drew What was the temperature?

42:55 Caller Like about 98. Oh, no.

42:59 Adam It was 103.

43:00 Drew Nirvana.

43:00 Adam Are you near, where are you near, Polly High?

43:03 Caller Yeah, I go there.

43:04 Adam You go to Polly? Yeah, that was my home field when I played for the Sun Valley Falcons.

43:09 Drew Oh, no kidding.

43:09 Caller I actually heard you talking about last week about how you used to play Pop Warner for the East Valley Trojans and the Falcons.

43:15 Adam You played for the Trojans and the Falcons?

43:18 Caller Yeah.

43:18 Adam Wow.

43:18 Caller I played for two years Trojans, and then I went to the Falcons.

43:21 Adam Wow, it's a shame we're never gonna talk again. We could talk about this, but that's not gonna happen. But wow, here's a guy who played Pop Warner Football for the East Valley Trojans and the Sun Valley Falcons. Nobody moves around.

43:35 Drew Did anybody, Joseph, talk to you about taking a knee or not using your helmet as a chair?

43:39 Adam Break it down, buddy. Grab a knee.

43:43 Drew Same coaches, I guess, huh?

43:44 Adam All right. No, mine are all dead.

43:47 Drew Sun to the same guys.

43:48 Adam All right, so you're-

43:50 Drew No way.

43:50 Adam The bottle of wine. One bottle is 25, the other is 20.

43:54 Drew No way.

43:58 Adam Yeah, producer Lawrence said she already looked it up. You were saying when it went incredible vintage. All right, so listen, Joseph. What happened to Joseph? Yeah, what's your question?

44:11 Caller Well, I like being in abusive relationships. I like when girls will lead me on and shut me down. It's weird, it's weird, because I'm attracted to that. And if we're on and off, I'll go through that, and then when I go with the next person, I'll shut them down, and it's a pattern. And I want it to be like.

44:28 Drew So you like the chase.

44:29 Caller Yeah.

44:30 Drew And then you don't like the consummate. You don't like to have the relationship. You like to just end it before it starts.

44:36 Caller And I want to know why I was like that.

44:38 Drew Well, it may be nothing. It may be just some weird adolescent behavior you're getting into, just you don't want to be in a relationship, you're afraid to be in a relationship, or you've had some major losses growing up, and so the prospect of intimacy is really too dangerous.

44:50 Caller My dad, I never really knew my dad. You think that might be it?

44:54 Adam Yeah, well we know that. They don't let you into some val, you can't get into poly if you know your dad. Yeah, that's how they do a quick quiz. That's part of their story. Do you know your dad?

45:05 Drew No, they try to trick you. I understand they ask, what's your dad's hair color?

45:10 Adam You're in, you're in. Who raised you, your mom or your aunt? My aunt. You're in with honor, scholarship, free ride. This kid's getting a free ride.

45:19 Puddle Of Mudd How many relationships have you been in?

45:21 Drew Like that?

45:22 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah. Well, you're saying that.

45:24 Caller I've been in like two.

45:26 Puddle Of Mudd Two.

45:26 Caller And the other ones, like I've treated people pretty badly and stuff.

45:29 Puddle Of Mudd Like girls or?

45:31 Caller Girls.

45:33 Drew First of all, you're never gonna have sex behaving like this. You're also never gonna have a real relationship. Get through it, realize that this is not the way people wanna be treated.

45:42 Caller I had another question too, like the person, the first person that ever done this to me, she's grown up pretty badly, like her dad was alcoholic and she hung out.

45:49 Drew Well, of course, people are only gonna be attracted to you who want abuse.

45:53 Adam That's on the test too, like, do you know your dad? Yes, I do, I'm sorry, yeah, I know him well because he drank and beat the crap out. Oh, oh, okay, back, sorry, I'm sorry. It was a little mix up, I'm sorry, sir. You're back in. Go get your letterman jacket, there you go. As long as he hung out and he was loaded and smacked, you know, beat on you.

46:11 Drew So the fact that abuse victims are attracted to you is really concerning, Joseph, because that means that's the kind of partner you are in a relationship, that's the kind of person you are attracted to and who you're going to attract. It means a lifetime of chaos in your relationships and drama, it's not a good way to have it.

46:25 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, I agree, I'd say don't do that.

46:27 Adam Don't get anyone pregnant in the meantime.

46:29 Drew Please, dear God, no.

46:30 Adam While you work out all these bugs. Ryan?

46:33 Caller Hey.

46:34 Adam 17.

46:35 Drew Hey, buddy.

46:37 Adam What's your question?

46:40 Caller Well, me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over a year, and we've been, as soon as we started dating, started having sex.

46:50 Adam Sure.

46:51 Caller And for a little while in the beginning, I was able to have intercourse with him. I don't know, is it considered intercourse with two guys?

47:01 Adam It's considered blasphemy.

47:03 Drew I don't know, what would a gay couple call it?

47:05 Adam I don't know, yeah, why are you asking us? You're the gay one. All right, hold on a second. Hold on, Ryan, hold on. We're just giving them crap because-

47:14 Drew It's bogus, that's why.

47:15 Adam It's bogus. But, maybe-

47:17 Drew All right, we'll talk about it.

47:18 Adam All right, Of Mudd here. We'll take a quick break. We'll get back with Ryan after this.

47:23 Caller Here it is, bottom line, it sucks being single today.

47:26 Puddle Of Mudd Tons of lame people and no decent prospects.

47:29 Caller Call the Dateline, call the Dateline, call the Dateline.

47:31 Caller 1-877-889-DATE. Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready. This hour brought to you in part by Axe.

47:44 Caller Experience the Axe Effect.

48:07 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Wes and Doug here tonight. Of Mudd. Yo. Oh, yeah. Life On Display, name of the CD. We're gonna hear something else off that, and a couple of few. Drew's on the internet trying to figure out how much these bottles of wine cost that Westwood One gave us. I'm gonna take the more expensive one. So far, the one Drew gave me is, well, he found 38 on the one that Drew gave me. And now he's trying to find his bottle. Now, don't let him lie, Chris, because they'll say it's less so he can keep it. But as we know, the rules of the games, I get the one that's more expensive.

48:45 Drew That's the rules.

48:46 Adam Even if I'm allergic to it. Even if it's called the Cigale Crap, that's gonna be the French name of it, I still have to, and it's white with a black speckles in it and it's part of like a hermit crab. I still have to get that one, you understand? I love it. Well, Drew, you better find it, buddy. All right, let's get back to Ryan. Ryan is a 17, maybe, calling from Missouri, probably, says he's gay, maybe, and says he's too big for his boyfriend. And I'm gonna go with a big negative on that one, but go ahead there, Ryan.

49:21 Caller Well, it's not necessarily me being too big or I think he just has trouble handling the pain. My question is, I'm sure you've probably got this a hundred times, but what can I do to make it easier? I mean, more lube, give me some suggestions here.

49:39 Adam Well, what do you think we're gonna say? Yoke him out with a curling iron? More lube, yeah. Yeah.

49:47 Caller Well, but see, we've tried that.

49:50 Adam Well, look, maybe this ain't his thing.

49:53 Drew Why is he the only receptive partner?

49:55 Adam Switch it up.

49:56 Caller I usually am the receiving partner.

50:00 Adam Oh, all right.

50:03 Caller I like to get my kicks in.

50:05 Drew You know why I know this is bogus? Because this is not how gay men behave.

50:09 Adam No, they don't.

50:10 Drew That's not what they do.

50:11 Adam They sit around and blow each other.

50:12 Drew They have oral sex or one is the receptive and one is the dominant, and that's it. They don't switch around. And they rarely get into anal sex. That's sort of an unusual behavior.

50:21 Adam I know. It was disappointing when I found that out. Because it seemed so much more entertaining when they were doing it.

50:26 Drew That's it.

50:27 Adam Sorry, Ryan, we don't believe you, buddy.

50:30 Drew Nice try.

50:30 Adam That was a good try.

50:31 Puddle Of Mudd Go to the surgeon and get your thing shortened or something.

50:36 Drew There's obviously many different things you could be doing besides that, obviously. If it hurts somebody, of course you do something else.

50:42 Adam All right, Ryan, nice try. All right, see you. I like it when they give up. By the way, look, I'm not telling you you should sound like a caricature. You don't have to call and sound like Richard Simmons. But if you're saying you're gay, gay it up just a little bit. You know, even if you're gonna be butch sounding like Ryan from Missouri, at least drop in like, yeah, I was taking a me day the other day and it was cornhole. You know, I mean, you sound like a trucker, for Christ's sake. At least work in some gay, work in something, some diet soda, some Yoplait, we figured out what? The squeegee and the lucite shower door.

51:25 Drew Yeah, that was a very, I bought two homes or condos from gay couples and both time they left behind a squeegee inside the shower, which they'd squeegee off the lucite shower door every time.

51:38 Adam Yeah.

51:39 Drew That's something I've never done. It's a pattern.

51:41 Adam It's a gay thing. Straight guys don't think to put a squeegee.

51:45 Drew Even when the squeegee was there, I left it there and thought maybe I'd do it.

51:48 Adam Never did it. Well, yeah, but they weren't taking water off that door. That was stool and semen. You understand? When you're gay and you got a shower and a lucite door, God knows what's hitting that thing. You know what I'm saying? It's not just tap water hitting that thing. I mean, you need a pressure washer and a car buffer. You're going at that thing. There's stuff flying at that thing all the time. Looks like spin art when you're on the other side of it. Just crazy stuff.

52:42 Puddle Of Mudd It must be really expensive, you can't find it.

52:44 Drew Right, it must be a special bottle.

52:46 Puddle Of Mudd Special.

52:47 Adam Alright, let's keep a rocking. We do want to hear another Of Mudd song, too. Virgin has a problem turning off, wait, Virgin has a problem turning boyfriend on. Help, please. She's a virgin? Leah?

53:02 Yeah?

53:03 Adam You're 25?

53:04 Caller Yeah.

53:05 Adam You're a virgin?

53:07 Caller Yeah.

53:07 Adam And how long have you been with your boyfriend?

53:12 Caller We're seeing each other.

53:14 Adam For how long? Oh, he's not your boyfriend?

53:17 Caller No, he's not my boyfriend.

53:18 Caller We're just seeing each other.

53:19 Adam Well, how long have you been seeing him then, painting the ass?

53:22 Caller A few weeks.

53:25 Adam And why are you a virgin?

53:28 Caller I was raised very Christian.

53:30 Puddle Of Mudd Are you thinking about having sex with him?

53:33 Caller Yeah, I'm thinking about it.

53:34 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, you should. You should just do it.

53:36 Caller Yeah.

53:39 Puddle Of Mudd Get it over with and just kick it.

53:40 Caller Well, I can't if I can't turn him on.

53:42 Drew What does that mean?

53:43 Puddle Of Mudd Watch a porno.

53:44 Drew What does that mean? What do you mean?

53:45 Adam She can't get a boner.

53:46 Puddle Of Mudd Watch a porno or something.

53:48 Drew That doesn't make sense.

53:49 Adam Does he not get a boner?

53:52 Caller He has a few times. But they don't stay around very long.

53:58 Drew Is he on medication?

53:59 Puddle Of Mudd Medication.

54:00 Drew Is he on medication?

54:02 Caller Well, I don't think it's a medication thing necessarily because I don't know what to do with it once it's there.

54:07 Drew Is he on medication?

54:10 Caller Just get on it.

54:12 Puddle Of Mudd I don't know. I don't know what to do with it.

54:21 Drew Let's put it this way. Anything you do with it will make him happy.

54:25 Puddle Of Mudd Just do something.

54:27 Adam Hold on. But what do you mean you don't know what to do with it?

54:30 Caller Well, a friend of mine had told me that because the boy, the guy, is more experienced than I am that the chances are that the things that turn him on are going to be totally different than the things that turn me on because I'm not experienced.

54:45 Adam Listen, your friend's retarded, number one. Number two, what turns him on is anything he can get.

54:50 Drew Right.

54:50 Adam And all the above. If you whip it with a dish towel, he'd be into it. He's like a BJ Moore, but he'll settle for the rat's tail with the dish towel. I mean, guys just take whatever. You just say, look, I'm going to rub up against it with the bony part of my elbow for two minutes. Okay, we'll take it, we'll take it.

55:10 Puddle Of Mudd Whatever you think you should do, that's what you should do.

55:13 Drew Not even that.

55:14 Adam Don't even think.

55:16 Drew Just anything. The guy will be beside himself.

55:18 Adam Yeah. So if that doesn't work, is it wrong? What happened in the past? And by the way, I know you're 25 and you're a virgin, but were you transported from a different time? Like, you know, I'm picturing you like being in like a Salem in the 1700s or something. Yeah. Were you an early settler? Like, what's going on?

55:44 Caller No, no. I decided around the age of 20 that I was gonna wait until I was married to have sex. And once I made that decision, I ended up not, well, I decided not to do anything that would...

55:55 Drew But see, here's the thing.

55:56 Adam I know you decided that, but do you have a computer? I mean, have you ever seen anything or heard anything?

56:02 Caller You mean like porn?

56:04 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah.

56:06 Adam Just read a Cosmo magazine. Porn.

56:08 Puddle Of Mudd Have you seen porn?

56:09 Adam Yeah. What about porn?

56:10 Caller No, I've never...

56:12 Adam Really?

56:13 Puddle Of Mudd Do you think you know what you should do with this cat, with this guy?

56:19 Caller I'm sorry.

56:19 Puddle Of Mudd Do you have any idea what you think you might do? Why don't you just ask a girlfriend or something, you know?

56:24 Adam She did.

56:25 Puddle Of Mudd What do I do, Suzie?

56:26 Adam She's asking the wrong questions.

56:29 Caller I've tried to give him hand jobs. I've tried to go down on him.

56:32 Adam What's he do when you try to go down on him?

56:37 Puddle Of Mudd You're saying his erection doesn't stick around?

56:41 Caller Right.

56:41 Puddle Of Mudd He just goes limpal.

56:44 Caller Well, it just kind of, yeah. All right.

56:47 Puddle Of Mudd Well, there's something wrong with that guy, man.

56:49 Adam Here's the thing. How old is he?

56:52 Caller He is 28, I think.

56:55 Drew And he is on medication?

56:58 Adam Are you into him? He probably is.

57:00 Caller Yeah.

57:01 Adam You're really into him?

57:02 Caller Yeah.

57:03 Adam All right. And you think he's into you?

57:05 Caller Yeah.

57:06 Adam Okay. Here's what you do. Just take it slow. Keep seeing him. See what happens. And don't put so much pressure on him. When it starts getting pressured, it gets weird. I mean, here's the thing about sex. Drew found something?

57:19 Drew Found it.

57:20 Adam Let me just say. Let me say something about sex. Sex is like, I don't know why you get punished whenever something gets difficult or sticky, but if you're nervous and you gotta deliver a speech, you'll eff the speech up. If you're nervous and you have to do some sort of guitar recital or something, you'll eff it up. The more tense you are, the higher the percentage chances are you're gonna eff it up. And it's the same with sex. I mean, if you're nervous and you're a little skittish and you're not very confident and you're always worried about clanking teeth when you're making out, you're gonna clank teeth. I don't know why that is. I don't know why we perform so poorly under these circumstances, but we do. And then we get going down into this negative spiral. She needs to take a little pressure off herself. She's fine. She's into him. He's into her. Just keep seeing each other and just let it go. Don't turn it into such a problem.

58:14 Drew To me, it reminds me of how confused and screwed up women are about men and their sexuality. Shall I read more Cosmo? Should I read more of this? No. Just be there. Be enthusiastic. And anything you do, he'll be beside himself.

58:26 Adam Absolutely. He'd actually like it if you passed out.

58:30 Drew It's being there.

58:30 Adam Pretend like you're dead for 20 minutes.

58:33 Drew Perfect.

58:34 Adam Just drive your corpse over to his apartment and get naked and then throw yourself down on the floor. And then he'll be done. It'll be fine.

58:43 Drew All right.

58:46 Adam This is 25 euro.

58:48 Drew This is like 30 bucks.

58:49 Adam Besides maybe 30, 32 dollars.

58:51 Drew This is like 38.

58:52 Adam 38 euro.

58:53 Drew 38 bucks.

58:54 Adam 38. Oh. Uh-oh. Now the ban is fresh from Europe.

59:01 Drew I can switch it to dollars. I've got a little program here. I'll switch over dollars.

59:04 Adam Please, please, Drew, because as you know, I get the more expensive one.

59:07 Drew Yeah, 30 dollars, this one.

59:09 Adam 30 dollars.

59:09 Drew And that one's 38.

59:10 Adam 25 euro, 30 bucks? I would have thought it was more like 35 bucks or something like that.

59:16 Drew What's the conversion? I'm just using this machine here. Anyway, this one's more expensive. That one's more expensive.

59:23 Adam Are you sure?

59:23 Drew Chris, what do you say?

59:25 Adam Chris could be in. Great. He could be in? All right. So, Drew, you get the one you want. I get the one I want.

59:31 Drew Yeah.

59:32 Adam Let's drink them now. By the way, Drew, you're staring at the bottle an hour ago. Tell me it's a hundred dollar bottle of wine.

59:39 Drew I thought it might be. I thought it might be. These are unusual bottles of wine.

59:43 Adam All right. I wouldn't be surprised if-

59:45 Drew You're not that far off as half the price.

59:47 Adam Westwood One is just dumping some Fetz or Table wine into nice bottles and then recapping them and sending them to their talent.

59:54 Drew Okay.

59:55 Adam Let's hear a little Of Mudd, shall we?

59:57 Drew Yeah.

59:57 Adam Drew, you can come back over here now. You're done. You're done, buddy. Stop looking at all the French words. I know you're excited. All right. Of Mudd in tonight. We're going to hear a song off the newest CD, Life On Display. And this one is called Freak Of The World. Freak World. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline, Of Mudd in Student Night.

1:03:44 Drew I love the discussion amongst heterosexual men when you start talking about gay males, and inevitably every male goes, well, I wouldn't know. I mean, I think this is what they do. Don't count on me to know.

1:03:54 Adam Wesley, we're having a pretty heady conversation about who would be a top and who would be a bottom, how AIDS got going and oral sex versus anal sex. So do we all agree we'd be tops or, right?

1:04:12 Drew Oh, Wes, what?

1:04:14 Adam Wes made me.

1:04:15 Drew What, man?

1:04:18 Puddle Of Mudd Don't pick on me, man.

1:04:19 Adam Yeah, I'm just saying, on one hand.

1:04:24 Drew You're pretty lazy, Adam.

1:04:25 Adam I'm pretty lazy, yeah. I don't like moving that much. I could see myself that just shoot my ass up. You're the bottom. Shoot me up the little Nova cane and go at it. Please, if you see any blood, please promise me you'll stop and just have at it. And watch the Comforter for the love of Christ. You know what I'm saying? Get the squeegee out, use it on my back. I could go. Which one, by the way, does one make you gayer than the other?

1:04:55 Drew Being top or bottom?

1:04:56 Adam Yeah, you hear, you know.

1:04:58 Drew Gay men will talk about being a bottom, being a more, what's the word?

1:05:04 Puddle Of Mudd Feminine thing.

1:05:05 Drew No, no, no. Talk about being more manly. Not more masculine, but more courageous.

1:05:10 Puddle Of Mudd Courageous, yeah.

1:05:11 Drew Being a real man.

1:05:12 Puddle Of Mudd They're a lioness.

1:05:13 The lions. Right.

1:05:15 Adam So, right. Yeah, that's noble. Yeah, it's like Knights of the Round Table.

1:05:20 Puddle Of Mudd More courageous.

1:05:22 Adam All right, someone make a movie about that. Russell Crowe stars.

1:05:25 Puddle Of Mudd Can anyone say depends?

1:05:28 Adam All right, let's keep going. Here we go, moving on. Here we go, moving on now.

1:05:33 Puddle Of Mudd Moving on.

1:05:34 Adam Moving on. Let's go. Let's go. Michael?

1:05:37 Yeah.

1:05:37 Adam You're 17?

1:05:39 Caller Yeah.

1:05:39 Adam What's happening?

1:05:40 Caller I got a question for Doug and Wes, but before I get into that, I just want to say that you guys rock. I'm Wes, you're my idol, man. You guys just rock. I mean, I love your music.

1:05:50 Puddle Of Mudd Thanks a lot, man.

1:05:51 Caller You guys just rock so much, man.

1:05:53 Puddle Of Mudd What's your question, man? Thanks.

1:05:56 Caller Are you guys gonna be coming to Arizona at all, anytime soon to perform?

1:06:01 Puddle Of Mudd I would think we are, yeah. I would think so.

1:06:04 Caller That's cool.

1:06:05 Adam They're going to a place that's just a little bit cooler.

1:06:07 Puddle Of Mudd Maybe Scottsdale or Phoenix. Yeah, we're going to Peoria. We're gonna fry, man.

1:06:13 Caller I'll be there, man.

1:06:14 Puddle Of Mudd Hell yeah, you guys just rock. Just check puddleofmudd.com, and you're totally cool with all the dates that we're gonna be playing.

1:06:22 Caller Hell yeah, man, I'll do that.

1:06:23 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, thanks.

1:06:25 Adam www.puddleofmudd.com, and that's gonna have the whole tour schedule on it. Yes?

1:06:31 Drew Yes.

1:06:32 Caller You can even register to vote on that now.

1:06:35 Adam You guys ever played that Red Rock place?

1:06:37 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, that place rules.

1:06:39 Adam I'd love to go there.

1:06:40 Drew That's beautiful.

1:06:41 Puddle Of Mudd Oh, it's sick. It's amazing. There's another place in George Washington.

1:06:45 Caller The Gorge.

1:06:46 Puddle Of Mudd Washington's called The Gorge. That place is insane, too. What do you like better, Red Rock or The Gorge?

1:06:52 Caller I think it's a tie.

1:06:53 Drew But The Gorge is giant, right?

1:06:54 Puddle Of Mudd The Gorge is amazing. It's the most amazing place to put a place, to put an amphitheater at in the world. Behind the stage is just this amazing, you know, Gorge.

1:07:05 Caller Looks like the Grand Canyon.

1:07:06 Puddle Of Mudd Looks like the Grand Canyon. Yeah, there's a river going down. You can go down there and get jet skis and it's crazy. So Red Rocks is good, too, but I don't know, man.

1:07:14 Caller And Red Rocks, the Beatles played and Jimmy Hendrix played. Oh really? It's been there that long?

1:07:19 Puddle Of Mudd Very legendary place.

1:07:20 Drew I think it was a new place.

1:07:22 Caller No. You too, obviously.

1:07:24 Adam You too did their video there, right? But is Red Rock that much bigger than the Gorge?

1:07:29 Caller No.

1:07:29 Puddle Of Mudd Or smaller? No, it's smaller, yeah.

1:07:32 Adam Smaller, that's what I meant.

1:07:32 Caller It's actually built out of the earth's, you know, these huge mountainous red rocks. Right, it's beautiful.

1:07:38 Puddle Of Mudd That's where they put the amphitheater.

1:07:39 Adam Now where, is that in Arizona or Colorado or Utah?

1:07:42 Caller Colorado.

1:07:43 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, it's in Colorado.

1:07:44 Adam Colorado.

1:07:44 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, it's just right outside of Denver.

1:07:46 Caller There's a tunnel under the audience that you can go from backstage to the sound board.

1:07:50 Puddle Of Mudd Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:07:51 Caller That's cool.

1:07:52 Adam Oh, so you can get to the sound board.

1:07:54 Puddle Of Mudd Right, without having to go through anything. You can go underneath the crowd.

1:07:58 Adam I'd love to go out there. Drew, why don't we go out there? Let's do our second honeymoon out there. Dominique?

1:08:04 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:08:05 Adam You're 22? Good.

1:08:08 Puddle Of Mudd How you doing, Dominique?

1:08:09 Caller Good, hi Of Mudd.

1:08:11 Puddle Of Mudd Hello.

1:08:12 Caller I love your music.

1:08:13 Puddle Of Mudd Oh, thank you very much. Araby Reba. What's the question? What is the question?

1:08:20 Drew Yeah.

1:08:21 Caller I got a question. I have a blood disorder. It's called sickle beta thalassemia. And I have to take pain medicine for it, obviously.

1:08:30 Drew So you have sickle crises.

1:08:32 Caller Yes, I have sickle pain crises.

1:08:34 Drew Sickle thal, it's called.

1:08:36 Caller Yeah, well it's like the combination of the thalassemia and the sickle thal. Okay, and I see.

1:08:42 Adam Wait, are you black?

1:08:43 Drew Yeah.

1:08:44 Caller I'm Puerto Rican.

1:08:45 Adam Puerto Rican?

1:08:46 Caller Yeah.

1:08:48 Adam Is it, does it affect, I thought that was a black thing. Or is that just sickle cell things?

1:08:52 Drew Mostly black, but go ahead, so what's the question?

1:08:54 Caller Okay, you know, I have to take, you know, I have to take Roxanol for pain.

1:08:58 Drew Oh, that's morphine.

1:09:00 Adam Oh, really?

1:09:02 Caller And my doctor gave me this new medicine recently. It's called Oxifast.

1:09:07 Puddle Of Mudd Oxycontin?

1:09:08 Caller Well, it's a liquid. Okay, and I was just wondering, you know, how, like, cause obviously I'm gonna have this for the rest of my life. And I was wondering how this medicine is gonna affect me in the long term.

1:09:20 Drew Do you have a family history of alcoholism?

1:09:23 Adam She's Puerto Rican, Drew.

1:09:26 Caller No, but my dad, he was addicted to, I think, like cocaine for a few years. Like a few years back when I was younger.

1:09:34 Drew Do you feel like you have some, are you preoccupied with these pain medicines? Do you think about them all the time and pursue them a lot?

1:09:40 Caller No, but I get pain crises a lot.

1:09:43 Drew No, I understand, but hold on. But separate from the pain and the pain management, we gotta evaluate what your risk is for addiction.

1:09:49 Adam Where does the pain come from with this disease?

1:09:51 Drew The cells sickle and they clog the arteries.

1:09:54 Adam Sickle means what?

1:09:55 Drew It just forms like a, they form a sickle. Yeah, they form a sickle shape.

1:09:58 Adam Like the Russian flag?

1:09:59 Drew Exactly, that's what shaped the red cells, which are normally these sort of biconcave discs. They become sickles and they clog the arteries.

1:10:07 Adam The sickle cell is-

1:10:08 Puddle Of Mudd They're for inducing pain?

1:10:10 Drew Hypoxia, it's like blood supplies cut off to regions of the cell, the tissue starts dying. It's very, very painful.

1:10:15 Caller Wow, I think you should take the medicine. That's what it's made for.

1:10:18 Drew Well, of course, of course you take the medicine. And indeed, sickle patients do sometimes become addicted. But Dominique, you don't sound like one of those people. You've probably been taking these things since you were a teenager.

1:10:26 Caller Yeah, I've been taking them since I was about 14.

1:10:29 Drew Absolutely, and you're tolerating a fine. They're not escalating. You're fine, you're gonna be okay. Well, of course, but tolerance increasing is different than a preoccupation and a pursuit of the opiates. You don't strike, you know how I kind of, I can smell addiction on people, I don't smell it on you.

1:10:45 Puddle Of Mudd Now, if that somehow is just a natural thing and you go to the doctor, is that somehow, do you have to pay for that your whole life, or do you, does the government pay for it?

1:10:54 Caller Well, luckily I have really good insurance.

1:10:56 Puddle Of Mudd Oh, okay.

1:10:57 Caller I have awesome insurance, because my mom used to work for LA County and she got hurt and so now they have to pay her insurance for the rest of her life.

1:11:03 Adam Perfect, that's why I pay so much in taxes. All right, is she, what do you mean? What is she doing? Is she okay?

1:11:11 Caller Well, yeah, she's okay, but she used to work for the sheriff's department and she hurt her knee.

1:11:16 Adam Doing what, though? I mean, look, if she jumped off a two-story building like TJ Hooker onto a perp's car hood and got rolled into some trash cans, I'm fine. But if she tripped on a power cord in the office, pushing some paper.

1:11:29 Caller It was during duty. It wasn't making the shift.

1:11:32 Adam She was going to the bathroom?

1:11:36 Drew Not doing duty, during duty.

1:11:38 Puddle Of Mudd She was doing duty.

1:11:39 Adam Sometimes you push hard, you can blow a knee off. My dad tore an ACL after eating some brisket. Did you know that, Drew? That's what sidelined him.

1:11:51 Puddle Of Mudd Brisket.

1:11:53 Adam Drew, I never told you that.

1:11:54 Drew You always said he did his duty, but I didn't know what you were talking about. I didn't realize.

1:11:58 Adam Oh, you know, I said duty. What kind of duty is there?

1:12:01 Drew You're right.

1:12:03 Adam Other duty? You call that a job?

1:12:05 Drew Yeah, you're right. You're right.

1:12:06 Adam Dominique?

1:12:07 Caller She was subduing somebody.

1:12:09 Puddle Of Mudd There you go.

1:12:11 Adam All right, so she was in the bathroom when a-

1:12:15 Puddle Of Mudd In the line of battle.

1:12:16 Adam Okay, so she was in-

1:12:18 Caller Oh, man.

1:12:21 Adam This story gets grosser and grosser.

1:12:23 Drew In the line of duty. Oh, my God.

1:12:26 Adam Who would line up their duty?

1:12:28 Puddle Of Mudd Hurt a knee and get some kick-ass insurance.

1:12:31 Adam All right, so she hurt her knee when she slipped on some duty. She hurt her knee, taking down a perp.

1:12:38 Drew She was in the line of fire duty.

1:12:41 Adam Right, and now, what'd she have? She had to get knee surgery?

1:12:45 Caller Yeah, she had to get surgery on her knee and it was when I was young.

1:12:49 Adam Oh, okay, and she's not been back to work since, huh?

1:12:52 Caller Well, yeah, she just changed her career. She's working at an adult school in Thousand Oaks. She teaches computers.

1:13:01 Adam She teaches pornography to kids. Well, I heard adult.

1:13:06 Drew Adult computers.

1:13:08 Adam Oh. This is bad, yeah. One minute she's sliding on some fecal matter, the next minute she's showing people how to pull up pornography on a computer. I don't know if I like this one.

1:13:20 Drew It'll make you good, you're fine.

1:13:21 Adam Of Mudd here tonight. Take a quick break, we'll be right back. Here we go.

1:13:36 Puddle Of Mudd Hey everybody, Loveline! Hello.

1:13:43 Adam Yeah. Rock and roll. That's from Wesley and Douglas in here tonight.

1:13:47 Puddle Of Mudd Get down.

1:13:48 Adam Life on display, name of the CD. You go www.puddleofmudd.com. You find out all the information about where they're gonna be. All right, and here's the thing. You wanna see them for free, you enlist right now. Because they're gonna be in Iraq.

1:14:02 Puddle Of Mudd We're going on the troop camp tour.

1:14:04 Adam That's right. You get, you enlist right now. You get through basic real quick. You tell them you wanna be Marine, you wanna be on the front lines. You go over there, you catch Of Mudd for free, then you fake an injury and you come back stateside. That's what I'm gonna do, Drew. Are you in?

1:14:20 Drew Let's go.

1:14:20 Adam Let's do it.

1:14:21 Puddle Of Mudd Some of the callers that call in here might actually try to pull that off, man.

1:14:25 Adam It wouldn't be bad. And it's probably, it's Of Mudd this week and then Drew Carey's rolling through the next week. You got comedians, maybe Lola Filana or I don't know.

1:14:36 Drew Non-stop laughs.

1:14:37 Adam Non-stop laughs. Bob Hope. Bob Hope comes on out. I mean, yeah. They did ask me, actually. Somebody asked me if I wanted to do a comedy tour there. Did I say that? No. Yeah, you know Jeff Ross, the comedian? Yeah. Does all the roasts and stuff? Yeah. And Drew Carey and I don't know, like another guy called me said we're leaving in like two weeks. Wow. I said, my wife better let me go in the mailbox. She'd be PO'd. Yeah. Besides, I'm chicken. Not man enough. Yeah. Jessica?

1:15:08 Caller Yeah?

1:15:08 Adam Sorry, I gotta help the kids by making fun of them.

1:15:11 Drew Yeah, you're right.

1:15:12 Adam Go ahead, Jessica.

1:15:13 Caller Hi.

1:15:15 Puddle Of Mudd Hey, what's up, Jess?

1:15:15 Adam 16.

1:15:17 Caller Yeah.

1:15:17 Adam Yeah.

1:15:19 Caller I have a question about like my vibrator thing. Mm-hmm. Okay, so I use that vibrator like every day and...

1:15:27 Drew Good times.

1:15:28 Caller I'm just coming numb to it. So is there any way that I could like, you know, still please myself?

1:15:36 Adam Well, you could step up to a Duracell because this thing will freak. I mean, you get just the...

1:15:43 Puddle Of Mudd Switch vibrators.

1:15:45 Drew Maybe...

1:15:45 Puddle Of Mudd Get the Rabbit.

1:15:46 Drew The Rabbit.

1:15:47 Adam I'm not kidding you. You get the cheap Chinese batteries that come with the thing. It's like...

1:15:51 Puddle Of Mudd You got the Rabbit?

1:15:52 Adam You get the Durr cell.

1:15:53 Caller No, I have good batteries.

1:15:55 Adam Oh, you do?

1:15:56 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, but what kind of vibrator do you got?

1:15:58 Caller It's a little mini one that's waterproof.

1:16:01 Puddle Of Mudd You should probably get the big dog.

1:16:02 Caller The Rabbit.

1:16:03 Adam Well, you don't want one made out of suede.

1:16:05 Puddle Of Mudd The Rabbit or the Hummingbird.

1:16:07 Drew How about the...

1:16:10 Caller First of all, how about the real thing?

1:16:12 Adam Yeah.

1:16:13 Caller Could I ask another question?

1:16:14 Drew Yeah.

1:16:14 Adam I agree with Doug. How about one that plugs in?

1:16:17 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, once you just get a real one.

1:16:18 Adam Oh yeah, that's a real one, right.

1:16:21 Puddle Of Mudd If the vibrator isn't satisfying her right now and she's numb to it, there's no way.

1:16:26 Drew How about a little break?

1:16:27 Adam Yeah, how about a break?

1:16:28 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, break me.

1:16:29 Caller Okay, how about if like...

1:16:31 Puddle Of Mudd A hot dog?

1:16:33 Drew How about what, Jessica? How about...

1:16:38 Caller Okay, there's this guy that I'm fucking.

1:16:41 Drew Oh, Jessica. First of all...

1:16:43 Adam She dropped the... Hold on, she dropped the F-bomb, by the way. It's all bogus.

1:16:46 Drew That's totally a bogus call. There's a dude, there's a guy listening in the check room. There's a group of guys going, ask about this.

1:16:53 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I almost want to go back to her just to get that out of her.

1:16:57 Drew Let's get it out, squeeze it out.

1:16:59 Adam All right, she dropped the F-bomb.

1:17:01 Drew Are we reset, Dave?

1:17:03 Adam We don't hear the F-bomb drop that way too often, by the way. There's this guy that I'm effing.

1:17:07 Drew Not with that kind of alacrity.

1:17:10 Adam Alacrity? What does that mean?

1:17:12 Caller The FCC.

1:17:14 Adam Jessica.

1:17:15 Caller Yeah?

1:17:16 Adam Please just tell us the truth about the guys who put you up to this phone call.

1:17:20 Caller The guys that what? Uh-huh.

1:17:23 Drew Put you up to this phone call. Oh, no.

1:17:26 Caller Believe me, it is happening.

1:17:28 Drew No, no, the guys that are there around listening to you make this call.

1:17:32 Caller No, because I'm in the car right now. I decided to call because I already had that question.

1:17:37 Drew With the guy.

1:17:38 Adam You're in the car?

1:17:40 Caller Yeah.

1:17:40 Adam All right.

1:17:41 Drew With the guy going, make the call.

1:17:42 Adam Is there a guy sitting in the passenger seat?

1:17:46 Drew In the driver's seat?

1:17:48 Caller No, do not worry.

1:17:49 Adam All right, so can you turn your radio down, screwball? Jesus Christ. That's why she can't think. All right, yeah, but please.

1:17:59 Puddle Of Mudd No more F-bomb.

1:18:00 Adam No more F-bomb. Oh my God. Jessica.

1:18:06 Drew Well, she's from the beautiful town of Belleville.

1:18:09 Adam I know, do not use the F word, please. Oh, I'm not, okay, the guy you're having sex with.

1:18:15 Caller Yeah, he's like pretty packing it down there.

1:18:19 Right.

1:18:22 Caller There's his friend that like, okay, he's not, it feels good, but it's big and it hurts, too.

1:18:28 Drew Yeah, right, that's a more, the over big is a more common complaint than the not big enough.

1:18:32 Adam Yeah, I mean, oh, really?

1:18:35 Drew Yeah, that's more common.

1:18:36 Adam Do tell.

1:18:38 Drew Well, okay, I just, I don't see, I don't see.

1:18:42 Caller He's not like relationship or anything, and there's his friend that I'm kind of also having sex with, and, but they're friends, and his dick is like.

1:18:52 Drew Hang on a second, I'm looking at my crystal ball, yes, yes. I'm seeing Jessica's future, oh, no, oh, Jessica.

1:19:01 Adam Bad.

1:19:02 Drew No, oh, well, at first, that's a nice trailer, but then, no, later, that doesn't look so good.

1:19:09 Adam Stop talking for a second. You there? Let's see, hang on.

1:19:14 Caller Can't go back to her, hold on a second.

1:19:15 Drew Oh, he can't go back to her, he's sad.

1:19:17 Adam Why, did she, was that swear word she said?

1:19:19 Drew He thought so, I guess.

1:19:20 Adam I've called guys worse than they had on this show.

1:19:23 Puddle Of Mudd That's people's names, man.

1:19:25 Drew Yeah, it's a good point.

1:19:26 Adam Guy's name, Richard.

1:19:28 Drew She has a very gruesome history ahead.

1:19:33 Adam Well, at least she learned her lesson about the profanity.

1:19:35 Drew Yeah, okay. Next topic.

1:19:37 Adam All right, I'm now angry at her. But look, Jessica.

1:19:41 Drew Yeah.

1:19:41 Adam I don't know what happened to you, but worse is to come. I just take my word for it.

1:19:48 Drew You gotta cool your jets.

1:19:48 Adam You're getting out of control. You're gonna get pregnant, you're gonna get a venereal disease.

1:19:52 Drew 16 and hanging out with guys that are idiots.

1:19:54 Adam You're 16 years old, come on. Just reel it in just a little bit. It's not all about your sexuality. All right. Can you do something, can you just, come on, go to school, crack a book, get on the volleyball team, or go to college somewhere where it's not all about how much guys wanna eff you.

1:20:08 Drew Right, create something worthwhile. That's not a message we give out clearly enough, I don't think.

1:20:14 Adam Well, look, I'm against women empowering themselves, sure, just like the next guy.

1:20:20 Drew Even you.

1:20:20 Adam I think there's plenty of 15 and 16 year olds who call this show, whatever they're worth to another guy sexually or the populace of men in their neighborhood is all they're worth. And they spend their whole lives putting makeup on, vomiting to lose weight, reading magazines to try to get tips on it. And meanwhile, their brain is just in a piece of Tupperware in a freezer. It doesn't get any, it's all about their sexuality. How desirable can I be to this guy? And I'm having sex with this one guy, but his friend wants to have sex with me too, so I'll have sex with him because it makes me feel good when more people want to have sex with me, but I'll vomit so my ass doesn't get too big, so a third guy will want to have sex with me. What happens when you're 26? It's really, it's like someone just took your brain out and confiscated it. You know what it's like? It's like that scene from 48 Hours where Eddie Murphy goes to get his car back after 10 years. Like they just blow the dust off it and see if it starts. It's just been sitting in a garage.

1:21:21 Drew Yeah, also the satisfaction from that kind of interaction with people is bottomless. It's never enough.

1:21:28 Adam Right.

1:21:28 Drew It's not nourishing.

1:21:29 Adam Yeah, yeah, you just have a string of crappy relationships, guys end up using you. Meanwhile, then you come on this show and you don't know any of the participants in World War II. That's you. Yeah, we could have asked her.

1:21:43 Drew Maybe Lisa will know.

1:21:44 Adam Lisa's gonna know. Lisa! Oh, wait a minute, what's the phone?

1:21:49 Drew It's going one.

1:21:49 Adam Oh, that's right, I got it. Lisa? What's going on, baby doll?

1:21:55 Caller Hey, nothing.

1:21:55 Adam You got a Of Mudd question?

1:21:57 Drew No, no, you were gonna ask her a question.

1:21:58 Adam I am.

1:21:58 Caller Yeah, I got a Of Mudd question.

1:22:01 Adam She sounds smart.

1:22:02 It's the freak from Phoenix, Arizona.

1:22:05 Puddle Of Mudd Hello, darn.

1:22:06 Adam 21, sounds like she's in her 50s.

1:22:09 Caller I want to know where in the kinkiest place you guys ever had sex, and where are the wildest women?

1:22:18 Puddle Of Mudd Airplane.

1:22:18 Caller Don't say Phoenix, Arizona, because I'm already wild, I already know that.

1:22:22 Puddle Of Mudd An airplane.

1:22:23 Adam The gorge. Yeah, an airplane.

1:22:25 Drew Lisa. Lisa, veal or venison?

1:22:30 Adam Do you know the difference?

1:22:33 Caller Do I?

1:22:34 Adam Yes.

1:22:35 Caller No.

1:22:35 Adam All right, do you know what veal is?

1:22:37 Caller I'm a good girl, I don't know all this nasty stuff.

1:22:39 Caller I just wanted to call this a puddle of mud.

1:22:42 Adam Do you know what veal is?

1:22:44 Caller Oh yeah.

1:22:45 Adam All right, what is it?

1:22:48 Caller From whatever, it's meat.

1:22:52 Adam What kind of meat, that's the question.

1:22:53 Caller I don't know, cattle.

1:22:55 Drew Cattle, what kind of cattle? Is there anything special about it?

1:22:57 Caller I don't know.

1:22:59 Adam That's a crazy question.

1:23:00 Drew Yeah, how dare we?

1:23:00 Adam And no venison, though.

1:23:04 Drew Oh.

1:23:05 Adam Ooh. Well, that is.

1:23:06 Drew There you go. So you know more than you think. You should give yourself a break. Don't hide your intellect.

1:23:12 Adam That's right.

1:23:13 Drew Let it ring out. So, who are the Axis powers from World War II?

1:23:16 Adam Have you done a lot of speed?

1:23:18 Caller Have I done a lot of what?

1:23:20 Drew No, no, no, no. No.

1:23:21 Caller Deep, deep throating?

1:23:23 Drew No, no, no.

1:23:24 Caller I'm just messing around.

1:23:26 Adam No, no, I was just asking about speed, but there's something interesting. Are you a heavy set gal?

1:23:31 Caller All right.

1:23:32 Adam What are you coming in at?

1:23:34 Caller Size 12.

1:23:35 Adam Size 12.

1:23:36 Caller More cushion for the push.

1:23:37 Adam Oh yeah, no, guys love it. They love it.

1:23:39 Caller The double Ds, gotta have those.

1:23:41 Adam Oh, you gotta have them. Yeah.

1:23:42 Caller Especially for the, you know, double dose of this here pimping.

1:23:45 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, for the puddle of mud.

1:23:47 Adam Yeah. So, what weight you coming in at?

1:23:52 Drew No.

1:23:52 Adam 150? No.

1:23:55 Caller I'm top heavy.

1:23:56 Adam Oh, really?

1:23:57 Caller Yes.

1:23:57 Drew You wouldn't call yourself big, then.

1:23:59 Caller Come on, Wes, you know.

1:24:00 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, she's not lying.

1:24:01 Adam When she's walking on her hand, she's top heavy.

1:24:03 Puddle Of Mudd She's one of the biggest, like, the most coolest puddle of mud fans there is.

1:24:07 Adam Really, you know her?

1:24:08 Puddle Of Mudd We see her all the time. She comes to a lot of the shows.

1:24:11 Adam A lot of cleavage.

1:24:12 Puddle Of Mudd She's always got gifts and presents for us. Really? Nice things for us. She's really actually a very sweet, sweet girl.

1:24:18 Adam All right.

1:24:19 Puddle Of Mudd So, don't give her such a hard time.

1:24:21 Adam $150, though.

1:24:22 Puddle Of Mudd Come on. Hey, you know.

1:24:25 Adam Yeah. Yeah, we don't judge. All right, so listen. Yeah. All right, let me see.

1:24:29 Puddle Of Mudd Thanks, Lisa.

1:24:30 Adam All right, Lisa, what do you do for a living?

1:24:32 Caller What do I do?

1:24:33 Adam What do you do?

1:24:34 Caller I do customer service.

1:24:35 Adam Oh, you do?

1:24:36 Drew For?

1:24:36 Adam For what?

1:24:38 Caller For, well, I used to for Hotel Chain, for Beth Western.

1:24:41 Drew Cool.

1:24:41 Caller That's where I get all my free hotel rooms when I go see the mud men.

1:24:45 Puddle Of Mudd That's the ticket.

1:24:46 Caller Yeah.

1:24:47 Adam All right, baby doll. We'll see you at the next mud concert.

1:24:51 Caller We'll be seeing you in, I think it's Las Cruces, New Mexico.

1:24:54 Puddle Of Mudd Las Cruces, you're right. Yeah, we're gonna be there soon.

1:24:57 Caller And you gotta go to mudfetish.com, okay?

1:24:59 Caller Cause that's my website I do for the guys.

1:25:01 Puddle Of Mudd Yep.

1:25:02 Adam Wow.

1:25:03 Caller And you do all the other guys, you know, Greg.

1:25:05 Adam Will we see a picture of you on mudfetish.com?

1:25:09 Caller You know what?

1:25:09 Caller Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am on there.

1:25:11 Caller I am on a couple of those.

1:25:14 Adam Take a look at that.

1:25:14 Drew Chris is on it.

1:25:16 Adam Chris is on it.

1:25:17 Caller They're looking at you.

1:25:18 Puddle Of Mudd They're going for it right now.

1:25:19 Adam All right. Well, it's nice to have hardcore fans, isn't it?

1:25:23 Puddle Of Mudd Hardcore.

1:25:23 Caller They're there for us.

1:25:25 Puddle Of Mudd Without the fans, man, you know?

1:25:26 Drew Two Ds.

1:25:27 Puddle Of Mudd It's impossible.

1:25:29 Adam I get jealous. There's a guy I work with who's seen Fish 75 times, and he's a kid. He's a nice guy, but he's like, I don't know, he's 24, 26 or something. And he's like, yeah, they're gonna Fish play in their last concert in Maine, I think, or maybe, I mean, it's way out there. Yeah, I'm flying. I'm going out Friday. I'm gonna catch him. I'm gonna think to myself, what do you get the money to do this? I know now you have a job. When you were in high school or college or something, like the idea, like you being in high school, yeah, I'm gonna get on the plane. I'm gonna see Jethro Tull. He's playing, he's in Montreal. I'm gonna, she's like, are you kidding? Like, how do you do this? Do your parents give him the money?

1:26:14 Drew Unthinkable.

1:26:15 Adam Drew, could you imagine?

1:26:16 Drew No.

1:26:17 Adam No, you can't imagine getting on an airplane going to San Francisco to see?

1:26:21 Drew Anything.

1:26:22 Adam Anything ever? No, but when you were 19?

1:26:25 Drew No.

1:26:26 Adam That's out of the question. Unless the band shows up and plays within like a four block radius of your house, you couldn't possibly go.

1:26:33 Drew Couldn't possibly.

1:26:35 Adam Let's get out of that mindset, Drew. Let's free ourselves up, huh?

1:26:38 Drew Free. Feel free to talk to Lisa.

1:26:40 Adam Puddle of Mudd here tonight. Take a quick break. Be right back.

1:26:44 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:26:49 Adam Drew. What are women most attracted to?

1:26:52 Drew Confident guys.

1:26:53 Adam That's right. You can't buy that confidence. At least you couldn't until now.

1:26:57 Drew What do we got?

1:26:57 Adam You got Axe deodorant body spray.

1:26:59 Drew Oh my God.

1:27:17 Adam Hey everybody. It's Love Line. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Wesley and Douglas here tonight from Of Mudd. Hey. Yeah. Everybody, life on display, name of the CD. You like good music? You get that CD. You go to www.puddleofmudd.com. You find out all the information, all the door dates. And vote.

1:27:37 Puddle Of Mudd And you get a vote from our website.

1:27:38 Caller You can register to vote.

1:27:39 Puddle Of Mudd Register to vote.

1:27:40 Adam Oh, you can?

1:27:41 Puddle Of Mudd Yes.

1:27:42 Adam Oh, good.

1:27:42 Caller So vote.

1:27:44 Adam Karen? Karen? 21? You're three weeks pregnant?

1:27:52 Caller Yeah.

1:27:53 Adam And you want an abortion?

1:27:56 Caller Yeah. I'm really considering that.

1:28:00 Adam Who's the father?

1:28:00 Caller I don't really know. My boyfriend. My long-term boyfriend.

1:28:03 Adam Long-term.

1:28:04 Drew What's your question?

1:28:06 Caller What was that?

1:28:07 Drew What is your question?

1:28:09 Caller I just, we've done a little bit of research on it, but I'm not really totally sure about the risks involved.

1:28:17 Adam Well, first off, Drew, she's three weeks pregnant.

1:28:20 Drew They might well do one of the chemical abortions.

1:28:23 Adam And how much, I mean, I'm guessing the risk goes up as the term goes up?

1:28:28 Drew There really are not significant medical risks for abortion in the legal window that's available. It's very rare that somebody would have serious consequences.

1:28:37 Adam What is the legal window?

1:28:38 Drew It's the first trimester, basically, and that if you, you can get infection because it is a procedure.

1:28:44 Adam Is that three months in a week?

1:28:47 Drew Three months.

1:28:48 Adam Just three months. Just three months.

1:28:50 Drew Straight three months. There's, most of the, you know, they can have chemical now with RU-46. They're gonna take medication to cause the abortion. There are gonna be infections and prolonged bleeding and prolonged bleeding from the pills. But the most significant thing that I constantly encounter, even though there's controversy about this, is depressions and remorse. The women have a very, very strong emotional reaction. There's a book out there called Maternal Desire by a woman named Demar Neif. And she goes into great length discussing sort of the ins and outs of all of this. You might want to read that book and consider things very carefully. It's a very well thought out, almost philosophical and psychological treatment of all of this.

1:29:28 Adam Well, what? You gonna talk her out of it?

1:29:31 Drew No, it's up to her. I think she seems like she's a very thoughtful person and wants to kind of think it all through. And she's got a week or so to do it.

1:29:37 Adam Well, here's the thing, too. Your body goes into gear and all of a sudden the man pops it out of gear. It's gonna cause some residual effects.

1:29:49 Drew It has to. It just has to.

1:29:50 Adam It has to, yeah.

1:29:52 Drew But in terms of significant effects to your fertility and that sort of thing, no.

1:29:56 Adam All right. And also, if it's something you're gonna do, definitely want to do it sooner than later. Sooner than later. All right, Karen.

1:30:04 Caller Is the surgical procedure more, is it more difficult later on to have children?

1:30:11 Adam No. Listen to Drew, would you? No. It's all right. All right. It's really, what Drew was saying is there's not, there's not a physical problem for the most part.

1:30:25 Drew It really is not. I mean, there's some evidence with each subsequent abortion, of course you increase the risk of getting into problems.

1:30:31 Adam Once you get into the high 50s.

1:30:33 Drew Those are pretty rare.

1:30:34 Adam Yeah.

1:30:34 Drew It's really more of a philosophical problem that people have with it.

1:30:36 Adam Amanda?

1:30:37 Caller Yeah.

1:30:38 Adam You're 17?

1:30:40 Caller Yeah.

1:30:41 Puddle Of Mudd Hey, Amanda.

1:30:42 Adam What's happening? You've been having sex with a condom and it hurts?

1:30:48 No, no, no. Okay, well it hurts with the condom, but I, like in the beginning, I stopped using the condom and it made it a lot like less painful. So now it hurts without the condom.

1:31:16 Adam You've been with the same guy?

1:31:17 Yeah.

1:31:18 Puddle Of Mudd Might be a natural response from her body.

1:31:21 Drew Does the pain begin immediately or is it only after a certain period of time?

1:31:26 Pretty much immediately.

1:31:28 Drew Is it at the time of penetration or just after penetration?

1:31:32 After penetration.

1:31:33 Drew After. And then how long after would you say?

1:31:36 I would say a couple of minutes or so.

1:31:40 Drew I'm already at the fridge. Is it vaginal pain or is it way deep in your pelvis?

1:31:49 Adam At one minute, I'm 45 seconds into a frozen Hungry Man dinner in the microwave.

1:31:54 Drew Nice.

1:31:54 Adam Yeah, they take 6 minutes and 28 seconds.

1:31:56 Drew So you're already going in 45 minutes?

1:31:57 Adam I'm down about 5, 5.30 on the countdown.

1:32:00 Drew And you got the remote going?

1:32:02 Adam Yeah, Salisbury Steak takes an extra 26 seconds, unless you want to go for the turkey. But I do that around the holidays. Hello? Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes the peach cobbler, some of the peas will get mixed in with that. The point is...

1:32:22 Drew It's a mess.

1:32:23 Adam At the one-minute mark, like I said, I'm 30, 33.

1:32:27 Puddle Of Mudd If you're not having sex, is your vagina hurting?

1:32:33 Drew Is it deep in the pelvis or is it in the vagina?

1:32:36 Caller It's in the vagina.

1:32:39 Drew The vagina. And do you lubricate normally?

1:32:42 Yeah, well, I'm turned on. It's not a problem with that.

1:32:46 Drew I understand you're aroused, but do you lubricate?

1:32:50 No.

1:32:50 Drew Don't lubricate.

1:32:51 Puddle Of Mudd Yeah, I used lubrication.

1:32:52 I tried it last time.

1:32:54 Drew What?

1:32:55 Adam What last time?

1:32:56 Like putting lube. Is that what you're talking about?

1:32:58 Adam Yeah. Well, how about that?

1:32:59 Yeah, we tried that and it didn't make a difference.

1:33:02 Adam Okay. Have you ever been abused, raped, anything like that?

1:33:06 Never.

1:33:06 Drew This could still be vaginismus. It could still be a pelvic floor muscular spasm. True. I would keep going back to the doctor and having this investigated further because you should be able to overcome. This is not normal.

1:33:16 Adam Whenever you say do you lubricate, there was a, we tried to lubricate and people don't think of self-lubricating. All right, we'll take a quick break. Be right back.

1:33:24 Caller Alright, guys.

1:33:25 Puddle Of Mudd Bottom line, here's the deal.

1:33:27 Caller Looking to hook up.

1:33:28 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

1:33:30 Caller One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

1:33:32 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:33:38 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:33:40 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191. Experience the Axe Effect.

1:34:20 Adam Three, two, one. All right, everybody, that's the show. That's the week.

1:34:21 Drew God bless Of Mudd for coming in here.

1:34:21 Caller Thank you. Wesley Doug, always a delight.

1:34:21 Adam Woo! All right, I want to thank phone screener Brian for doing a great job, and wish him a speedy recovery. Gallbladder remover. Yeah. Drew removed it during the break. During the break, yeah. Who's phone screened at night then?

1:34:27 Drew Adam.

1:34:28 Adam Adam, yeah. Me?

1:34:29 Drew No.

1:34:30 Adam Okay.

1:34:30 Drew Different Adam.

1:34:31 Adam Good job, Adam. Chris, remember I said never not talk? He said never talk, never talk. Okay, all right. Now even if you get a motorcycle accident and paramedics, like what's your blood type?

1:34:41 Caller You just go, mm, mm.

1:34:43 Adam Adam, and you hand him a note. Adam said, and then, oh, oh, positive. All right, I want to thank junior, junior producer, Lauren, for doing a great job. To find out how much these bottles of wine cost, I want to thank engineer Anderson. And who's filming for Anderson tonight, then?

1:35:01 Puddle Of Mudd Dave. Dave.

1:35:02 Adam Dave. Engineer Dave for doing a stellar job tonight. And until next time, oh, producer Ann for doing a, out of sight, I don't mind. Doing a great job all week. So until next time, it's Adam Crowell for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:35:21 Caller The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, August 12, 2004