Episode 1000638029392

0:30 Voiceover 30 seconds. 20 seconds. 5, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.

1:06 Voiceover Love Line is meant for an adult audience. Love Line may contain sexually oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:18 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:19 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:22 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:29 Adam Yeah, everybody! It's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Telephone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Yeah!

1:41 Drew Yeah, just the love between us.

1:43 Adam That's right. No pesky guests to deal with. We're gonna be getting it on, me and Drew. Yeah, getting it on. All right. Trying to goose myself. I'm gonna get a pulse going. Tired. First off, I don't sleep right.

2:00 Drew Well, that is an eternal problem with you.

2:03 Adam Yeah.

2:03 Drew And by the way, while you were getting all these medical procedures, why didn't you get the nasal septum repair so you can actually sleep? Because part of your sleep problem is you sleep with your mouth open until it's dry and sticks to the top of your mouth.

2:14 Adam My mouth is like a cat box. After about two hours after I go to sleep, it's just like a cat made in there. It's like someone filled it with litter and then a tabby maid in it. And it's like I can't even do that mm-mm thing because it's so dry that my tongue will cleave to the roof of my mouth. Like some sort of Yiddish curse. Your mouth should taste like a cat box.

2:45 Drew And your tongue should cleave to the roof of your mouth.

2:49 Adam And your teeth should fall out and hair should grow in its place. And your head should grow in the air. Okay, you guys should focus a little too much on the growing part. Your head should grow in the ground like an onion. I love that stuff. Point is, is yeah, my mouth, it tastes like hell. And you know what? You know what would really do it? And I'm an idiot. And I swear to Christ, I gotta get into this. I gotta get like a straw. I gotta get the kind of straw that guys in handicapped wheelchairs use, you know, the quads. And it's just gotta, see, here's the problem. You put the glass of water by the side of the bed, but the problem is, is A, half the time you forget to do it. B, water goes bad faster than milk or orange juice, which I don't understand. I swear to, holy Christ, if I put a thing of OJ next to the bed, the next day it would taste fine. Water's gone south.

3:39 Drew Tastes like hell, yeah.

3:40 Adam I don't, can water spoil?

3:43 Drew Sparkling water with a little cap on it.

3:45 Adam That's the thing. I know, but I'm such a retard that I won't even do that. And so the thing is, is I put the glass, but you realize the glass was there from the night before and the water is somehow stale. And then you have to sit up if it's a glass. I need to lean over and just suckle on something.

4:00 Drew But you wouldn't be waking up and your mouth wouldn't be dry if you breathe through your nose like everybody else if you had the septum repaired.

4:06 Adam Yeah, but what if I damage this silky, golden velvety? No, the tone, do you hear the rich tones that come out of me?

4:15 Drew Yes, these tones, yes, rich.

4:16 Adam Rich, yes, velvety.

4:17 Drew Especially when you're eating. When you're eating, yeah, it's a great sound.

4:20 Adam You should see me at the, when I go to the movie theater, I always get a popcorn, and whoever's sitting with me always has to go like, hey, could you quiet down? Like, literally make too much noise eating popcorn in the theater. It's like a, might as well have a cell phone conversation. It's less unnerving. Like this. Yeah. Yeah, maybe I should do something with that septum.

4:46 Drew Yeah, I'm just saying you can handle these operations.

4:48 Adam Mouth wide open, tossing and turning, and did Kimmel tonight, which is fine, but you gotta do your homework. I'm not a doctor.

4:57 Drew What happened?

4:58 Adam Well, what I mean is, you go on one of these shows, you sit there and you, no one expects you to be that entertaining, and you tell a couple of cute stories about a patient.

5:09 Drew Mary Kate.

5:10 Adam Mary Kate Nashley, and you're off the hook. I gotta dance. Say, Corolla's coming on. Oh, he's gonna be, man, something funny's gonna happen.

5:18 Drew Didn't you yell about left turn signals?

5:20 Adam Yes, I did.

5:21 Drew And interestingly, tonight, South Park was about, it was very funny, about secondhand smoke.

5:26 Adam Oh, really?

5:27 Drew And about how Rob Reiner and his organizations had become the evil empire, and they had Cartman get on the air and read a PSA. By the time you read, by the time you see this.

5:39 Adam Do it in a voice.

5:40 Drew By the time, I can't do Cartman.

5:41 Adam No.

5:42 Drew By the time you do it.

5:43 Adam I can't do him either.

5:44 Drew By the time you see this PSA, I'll be dead. And Cartman's going, what about that dead part? And Rob Brown, just eat this cupcake. You'll be fine. What about the dead part? Yeah, well, go ahead and eat the cupcake. And he realized they're trying to kill him to make the PSA true. And it's the actual tobacco companies rescue him. Oh, yeah. From the evil secondhand smoke people.

6:04 Adam Well, maybe South Park's been listening to the show.

6:07 Drew Very funny.

6:08 Adam Yeah, so anyway, you know, once every four months, I sleep all the way through the night and I wake up, and I actually wake up and I feel good, and I go, oh, this is how people feel. I see. Yeah, the tossing and turning thing, all night you wake up the next morning, just feel like you didn't go to bed.

6:25 Drew You're right, it doesn't matter anyway. You drink so much alcohol at night that it messes with your sleep every night.

6:29 Adam Is it?

6:30 Drew Yeah, yeah, it messes with your sleep.

6:31 Adam Why, what's it do?

6:32 Drew It's, you know, sleep is a very delicate biology, and you start putting-

6:36 Adam Drowning it in booze?

6:38 Drew You start putting drugs into the system, it affects its rhythmicity, and it's-

6:41 Adam Yeah, what about the ones that make you go to sleep?

6:44 Drew Make it bad. Really? They put you to sleep that night, but they can upset the chemistry over the long term.

6:49 Adam Well, I'm only interested in that night.

6:50 Drew All right, well, you go. All right. And then next night.

6:53 Adam But it doesn't work that night either. Bobby? Yes. You're 18?

6:59 Caller Yeah, it's actually Danny.

7:01 Drew Danny?

7:01 Adam Danny. All right. Are you a virgin?

7:06 Caller Yes.

7:07 Drew Oh yeah.

7:07 Adam Shocking.

7:08 Drew He's got that virgin twang.

7:10 Adam Young Jerry Lewis. What's up there, Danny?

7:14 Caller So yeah, I was wondering, why do guys like when they sneeze or like do some physical activity, well, sometimes I get like cramps in my balls or my grundle area.

7:23 Drew I don't know why.

7:24 Adam Yeah.

7:25 Drew So let me look that up in the atomic book here, the grundle.

7:27 Adam There it is.

7:27 Caller It's like the flamdo, or like, I don't know, like the perineum, I guess?

7:33 Adam This perineum.

7:34 Drew There you go.

7:35 Adam This is a, what is your question?

7:38 Drew Why does that happen?

7:41 Adam No.

7:42 Drew Well, okay.

7:43 Adam This is a bogus call.

7:45 Drew It really shouldn't happen. If it's happening to you regularly, it's something, you need to get it checked out. You can get tumors and cysts and things that can predispose to pain down there. And even sometimes the testicle can sort of turn on itself and twist the blood supply and cause a lot of discomfort. It's called torsion. So if you're having a lot of pain down there, even with sort of heavy lifting or any exertion or valsalva, that is something you should have checked out.

8:06 Caller No, no, it's not like, it's not heavy pain. It's just, you know.

8:08 Drew Hang on, we want to talk to Bobby because he's from East Lime. We talked to him about Lyme.

8:11 Adam Oh, we weren't talking about Lyme? All right.

8:13 Drew Hey, Bobby.

8:14 Adam No, it's not Bobby. It's Danny.

8:15 Drew Oh, Danny, Danny.

8:16 Adam Danny, we're no longer interested in your lame question that we feel is bogus, but we are intrigued by the fact that you're calling from Lyme, Connecticut.

8:25 Caller Yes. I live in California, but I'm on vacation in Connecticut right now. I'm visiting my friend.

8:33 Drew In Lyme.

8:34 Caller No, no, I swear.

8:36 Drew In Lyme.

8:38 Adam It's turning who's on first. Well, now he has no answers about Lyme. Drew says that's the birthplace of Lyme disease.

8:47 Caller Yeah, Lyme is. I'm in East Lyme, though.

8:50 Drew Well, old Lyme is where Lyme disease started.

8:52 Adam Oh, you're East Lyme. I'm sure it's a million miles away from the birthplace of Lyme disease.

8:58 Caller It's only like 10 miles, actually.

9:00 Adam All right. All right. Drew, what do you know about Lyme disease?

9:04 Drew A lot. Why?

9:05 Adam Well, how do you know it was born in, it was named after Lyme, Connecticut?

9:09 Drew Yeah, it was first picked up in Lyme, and it was on the ticks in the deer in Lyme.

9:16 Adam Three years ago, or?

9:17 Drew 20 years ago.

9:18 Adam 20 years ago? You didn't hear that much about it back in the day. Oh, maybe it did.

9:23 Drew It was a contender for chronic fatigue for a while there.

9:27 Adam Ah.

9:27 Drew Everyone had Lyme.

9:28 Adam What happened to Rocky Mountain spotted fever ticks?

9:30 Drew My son had something like that. He had Murine typhus, which is a relative of Rocky Mountain spotted fever.

9:36 Adam Nice.

9:37 Drew And those are the Rocky Mountain spotted fever ticks are the hard ticks, the dermocentroamericanitis ticks.

9:43 Adam Yeah.

9:44 Drew Yeah.

9:45 Adam What the hell? The ticks, they bury in you? What do you gotta get them out of there with?

9:48 Drew You have to, a lighter, you gotta burn them.

9:50 Adam You gotta burn them?

9:51 Drew Or tear them up, they tear flesh with them.

9:53 Adam So if you burn them, they let go?

9:55 Drew Or die.

9:56 Adam Oh, wow, can you hit them with like a cigarette butt or something like that?

9:59 Drew Yeah.

9:59 Adam Or maybe a punk?

10:01 Drew Punk.

10:02 Adam Yeah. That's a nice item.

10:03 Drew Do they have punks anymore?

10:04 Adam I don't think kids have punks anymore. I'm gonna ask engineer Chris if he knows what a punk is. You know what a punk is?

10:10 Caller You mean like a punk kid?

10:12 Drew No, no, no.

10:14 Adam No.

10:14 Drew No.

10:15 Adam Punk is it would pertain to something you would like.

10:19 Drew Fourth of July, punk. Oh, no, no. No.

10:22 Adam No, okay. Turn your mic off. We gotta talk about Chris. Here's the problem with Chris. I don't know that that doesn't mean people don't know what it is.

10:29 Drew It means Chris doesn't know.

10:30 Adam Right. Chris speaks for Chris. He doesn't speak for America. I've learned for that. I've learned that over the years.

10:36 Why should I speak for America?

10:37 Adam That's right.

10:37 Drew Yeah, good point.

10:40 Adam A punk is like a little piece of incense that never goes out.

10:43 Drew And doesn't smell either.

10:45 Adam Doesn't smell. It's like when you're lighting firecrackers instead of having to light a book of matches all the time or light or something. It's got this glowing little thing. Like a stick. Yeah, just put it right on the end. It's a nice item.

10:56 Drew Yeah.

10:56 Adam I don't know. Maybe they don't have punks anymore.

10:58 Drew No lighters now.

10:59 Adam All right. All right, where are we, Drew?

11:01 Drew We're talking to Kat.

11:03 Adam Kat. You know, they had all this problem. Didn't they have a Lyme disease? What do we got going out here now with the mosquitoes? West Nile. Sprayed a bunch of mosquitoes. It didn't work.

11:14 Drew I know, it's gonna be tough.

11:15 Adam Well, let me say this. This stuff never really pans out. The news, the media gets all involved with it. Oh, West Nile's coming. Oh, I remember the killer bees were heading this way. Oh, they're coming.

11:26 Drew They were possessed by the devil, weren't they?

11:27 Adam The killer bees, they're coming from South America. They've already made it through Central America. They're going through Mexico and they're heading to Arizona. Eh, this is 22 years ago. Somehow stuff loses its steam when it gets here. And maybe these other countries where people sleep outdoors and walk barefoot through big fields of fecal matter, somehow there's a more devastating effect to these things. You know what it is? A lot of these other countries are like we were 200 years ago. Something breaks out, you're gonna lose a few thousand people. Here we lose two old people. And we try to make as much out of it as we can.

12:06 Drew Everything is hyped by the news media. Everything that makes a good story, that has a good headline attached to it, you're gonna hear about no matter how unimportant or ridiculous it is. That's it. Medical headlines? Worthless. I just saw a headline on a website, internet site. Headline. Heart medicine.

12:26 Adam Stop smacking everything.

12:27 Drew Heart medicine.

12:28 Adam Heart medicine's Liberace or some, ba-dum.

12:30 Drew Heart medicine causes sort of potassium overload. It's like, what is that supposed to mean?

12:37 Adam I don't know.

12:38 Drew The week before, by the way, about two months ago was, new cheap medicine, a must for all heart failure patients. Guess what? That's the medicine that's causing the potassium overload. You make a new headline.

12:48 Adam Don't read those things. Two things. Don't read that and don't read the Amazon book rating thing and find out your book is number 2,756,000 on the list and there's not even that many books on the chart. Don't do that and don't read those reviews either.

13:05 Drew I had like 400 reviews up there, took them all off.

13:06 Adam Good, good. Your therapist probably had them take it off. Cat?

13:12 Yes.

13:12 Adam You're 27?

13:13 Caller 27.

13:15 Adam You know what gag I miss? I miss the gag of the Playboy or the newspaper or something coming out with somebody in it who had an embarrassing article or something and the person getting up in the morning running around and buying all of them. Do you remember that gag?

13:32 Drew Gonna buy them all up.

13:33 Adam Gonna buy all the Playboys or a new boyfriend.

13:36 Drew No, it's a picture. It's a picture, a sort of revealing or embarrassing picture.

13:40 Adam Doesn't want him to see it.

13:41 Drew Bring it all.

13:41 Adam So he can buy all of them. Yeah, that used to be a convention in sitcoms and even dramas too, like in movies. So, oh my God, there's a scathing article about me in a horrible picture in the Los Angeles Times. I gotta buy them all up. Somehow it was feasible too. You run down to the newsstand, you buy everything they got and your guy could never see them. Kat?

14:06 Caller Yes.

14:07 Adam 27, go ahead, baby doll.

14:10 Caller I've been married for two years and I've been with this amazing guy for seven and a half years now. And all of a sudden, in the last, I don't know, six months, it seems like he's changing.

14:24 Adam He's becoming better.

14:26 Caller Worse. Not for the better.

14:29 Drew What's he doing?

14:31 Caller He's just been really stressed out with work and I guess his life and a couple weeks ago, he kind of flipped out and said that I didn't help him at all and I didn't do anything around the house, so he picked up all of our dishes and threw them into the wall.

14:46 Adam And he wasn't drunk or high or anything?

14:49 Caller No, no, he doesn't, very seldom drinks, doesn't do any drugs.

14:52 Adam Just freaked on you. And what's he do for a living?

14:57 Caller Structural engineer.

15:00 Adam Nerds, bazzing out. I love it. It's great when a guy can't throw a proper tantrum, really starts spinning out, voice cracking.

15:08 Caller He did good, it stuck in the wall.

15:10 Adam Oh, that's good. A picture like Dr. Bruce, really doing this on a chick.

15:13 Drew Did he try to hurt you?

15:17 Caller No, but he screamed at me a lot.

15:20 Adam He freaked you out.

15:21 Drew What'd he say?

15:22 Caller Basically, we're over, I'm done with you, get the hell out of my house.

15:29 Adam Really, just because the place wasn't picked up when he came home?

15:33 Caller No, it was actually over vacation.

15:36 Drew And did he get over that, did he come around, what happened?

15:39 Caller Yeah, I mean, I guess I obviously freaked out and grabbed a bunch of stuff and walked out, and he called me on my cell phone and said that he's sorry and that he doesn't know what happened, and he flipped out and that he needs to get help. He'll be better, so I called and made an appointment with a psychologist, and the night before that he was supposed to go in, he said he was gonna be really busy, and he wasn't gonna be able to go, and just late.

16:07 Drew All right, what you need to know is there's a ton of missing information here, and very little of it has to do with you or your relationship. That's, the relationship's been going okay, right? There's nothing you need to tell me about the relationship, problems, chaos.

16:20 Caller No, I mean, it's been fine.

16:21 Drew And is he an abuse survivor, is he an abuse or trauma survivor in his life?

16:25 Caller His dad was a really bad alcoholic.

16:28 Drew So here's the missing kinds of pieces. He may be using drugs or alcohol, and you not know it. That's a possibility. He may be bipolar, and that's been undiagnosed. You need to have him, you really should see a psychiatrist, not a psychologist to start with.

16:43 Caller He said that it's in his head, and he's the only one who can fix it. Yeah, right.

16:49 Drew Yeah, right. Yeah, when he gets a heart attack, too, he can just hit him. I'm not gonna help with that, either.

16:53 Adam Six years of college under his belt, and I can't even come close to this one. All right, well, look, here's the thing, Kat. You gotta tell him, all right, fine. If you have another outburst, though, I'm outta here.

17:06 Drew And I'm calling the police.

17:07 Adam Nah, leave the police alone. I always call the cops all the time.

17:10 Drew You what, Kat?

17:12 Caller I've already told him that. I said that if it ever happens again, that...

17:15 Drew Yeah, that'd be a problem. I mean, this kind, if he's bipolar, which I suspect he is, he may become really violent. I mean, who knows what he might do. And especially in these sort of fugue states where he can't contain his impulses, it's bad times.

17:26 Caller Yeah, it's just he's never done anything like this before.

17:29 Drew Well, something is really significantly wrong with him psychiatrically, and that needs to be assessed.

17:34 Adam All right. Oh, look, you're gonna have a hard time getting him to go to the shrink, but women can use their leverage against their guy because they just tell him, I'm leaving if you freak out.

17:46 Drew Yeah, but if he's sort of kicking her out and stuff, and sort of weird and blaming her.

17:50 Adam Yeah, but don't call the cops. Leave them alone. And by the way, they don't have enough manpower to do it.

17:56 Drew Yeah, you're right.

17:57 Adam They're right in tickets. Yeah. So here's the thing. I don't know what the thing is. He ain't going if he ain't going. If you really want him to go, you can pressure him now.

18:06 Drew I'll tell you who has the greatest success in getting males to treatment.

18:10 Adam Your wife.

18:11 Drew The employer.

18:12 Adam Well, the employer.

18:13 Drew If you can get the employer.

18:15 Adam Oh, he's gonna freak though if you rat him out to the boss.

18:18 Drew There might be ways you can sort of use the workplace to help a person.

18:22 Adam They may have just been looking for an excuse to cut this guy loose anyway.

18:26 Drew If he has an EAP, an Employee Assistance Program, I would call the EAP and they can give you a confidential assistance and call him in and say, you gotta do this.

18:34 Adam What's wrong with her saying, you freaked me out, but good. I was scared for my safety. I still am. I know you think the seas have calmed, but you're gonna need to talk to somebody and get an assessment or I'm out of here. I'm not waiting for the next blowout where I get a fireplace poker through my neck.

18:53 Drew In fact, that would be the healthiest thing she could do. Unfortunately, I'm not clear that we'll get him. I'm not sure that we'll get him to the table.

18:59 Adam Well, when he's calmed down, I'm sure he would see the light.

19:02 Drew But now he's not and he is calm.

19:04 Adam He is calm now. Kat?

19:06 Drew Yeah.

19:07 Adam How about you do what I just said? What do you want? You want him to go to the shrink.

19:15 Drew Was your dad an alcoholic?

19:17 Caller No, no, my grandfather was. My father never drank.

19:22 Drew Or nobody was sort of a rage-aholic in your family? See, I'm wondering why you can't come to your own defense. Why something that Adam suggests, which is actually a healthy move, to you sounds impossible.

19:36 Adam Yeah, just do it. My dad was a rage-aholic. One time, he got so angry, he almost got off the sofa.

19:45 Drew For your dad, that's an expression of intense rage.

19:48 Adam He started to lean forward, and I could see him put his hands down on the pillow like he was gonna lift himself up.

19:55 Drew Did he complete the movement?

19:57 Adam I heard a loud pop halfway into it, and he just crumbled back down to the sofa. I think he may have broke a bone in his upper arm. He may have ripped the tendon off the bone. And he learned his lesson. He was a young man, thankfully, but he learned a valuable lesson, which is the sofa's where I'll be. And then that's how he traveled. Remember the beginning of the show, The Monkeys, where they're going down the street in the bed and they're like paddling? So my dad would travel that way on the sofa.

20:24 Drew Oh, that's good.

20:24 Adam Yeah.

20:25 Drew How convenient.

20:25 Adam We'd cart him around. And we got a trailer hitch.

20:28 Drew Pulled him behind the car.

20:29 Adam Put a trailer ball on the car. And if we were ever going out of town or camping or anything like that, we just hook the sofa up to the trailer and we just drag him out.

20:38 Drew Nice.

20:38 Adam Yeah, never got on there. We catheterized him.

20:41 Drew Why? He could just pee on the couch.

20:43 Adam Well, he did that for several years, but eventually.

20:46 Drew He started breaking down.

20:47 Adam Well, the cat, when the cat smelled it, they would start peeing on it, too. And then what we did is we actually made a hole in it, put a toilet seat on it, and dug a septic tank underneath the house.

20:58 Drew How'd you drag that? How'd you, what'd you do when you were out traveling?

21:03 Adam We got a port of sand that we actually wove.

21:05 Drew Wove into the seat.

21:07 Adam We actually upholstered it.

21:08 Drew Yeah, yeah.

21:09 Adam Yeah.

21:10 Drew To look like the couch.

21:11 Adam Yeah. But I still would label him a rageaholic.

21:13 Drew Yeah, of course.

21:14 Adam Drew, you've spoken to my dad, yes?

21:17 Drew It's just out of control. Yeah, out of control. Intense.

21:19 Adam Intense man, right? He almost looked up once, right?

21:23 Drew Did he?

21:23 Adam I don't know. Just picture my dad saying something. Christine? You're 15?

21:35 Caller Yes, I'm the one you called last night.

21:37 Adam Yeah, oh yeah, Christine, yeah.

21:41 Drew We're good.

21:42 Adam Christine called last night. We had her on hold for a while. We couldn't get to her call, so we told her to call tonight, right?

21:47 Drew Right.

21:47 Caller Yes, that's right.

21:49 Adam What's up, baby doll?

21:50 Caller So, thanks for taking my call. I'm very happy to be talking to you guys. Basically, I had a question about my quote unquote sexual past and I'm sort of confused because based on the things that I've done, in the past, I'm kind of scared. Like if it's affected me now, does that make sense?

22:12 Drew Yeah.

22:12 Adam What have you done?

22:13 Caller Well, I started, I'm just wondering, I started masturbation at age eight and I was wondering, first of all, if that's early.

22:23 Drew Well, that's early, but it happens sometimes. I'm not sure that it clearly means anything.

22:27 Adam Women are all over the map because they don't have any plumbing that's really hooked up like guys do.

22:32 Drew So, it's like, it's hard to really understand why there's so much variability, but some women are masturbating to orgasm at 10. Other women are having their first orgasm at 22.

22:42 Adam It's another reason we had to catheterize my dad.

22:45 Drew Why, hold on a second, Christine, I gotta hear this.

22:48 Adam Well, he wouldn't get off the sofa and he did want to pleasure himself on occasion.

22:52 Drew So, what would the catheter do? Oh, you catheter it?

22:56 Adam Yeah, we'd do a semen catheter.

22:58 Drew Well, that's hard.

22:59 Adam Yeah, it's not easy. Blew out a few times, had a rapid duct tape, and then go actually around his waist and come back.

23:06 Drew Tough.

23:06 Adam Yeah, it's tough. Go ahead, Christine.

23:09 Caller Okay, so that's the first thing.

23:12 Adam Hold on a second, Drew. If you put a catheter in.

23:16 Drew You can't get semen.

23:17 Adam You can't?

23:18 Drew You can't do it.

23:18 Adam What if it comes out? What if I could blow some out?

23:21 Drew If you put a catheter in and then masturbated.

23:23 Adam Yeah, I'd like to try that. I'm up to that. I'd do that.

23:29 Drew I think that would cause intense pain. I'm not sure if anyone's ever. But you know what? Here's the interesting thing. I'm not sure anyone's ever tried that.

23:35 Adam I'm like a ninja.

23:36 Drew So this could be a really first time human experience.

23:40 Adam Yeah, do you think we need a bigger bore on the tube, though, because this stuff's a little viscous?

23:44 Drew No, no, no, the bigger the bore. See, if it's gonna come out, it's gonna have to come out around the tube because the end of the tube is in the bladder.

23:51 Adam Oh, yeah, it would have to blast out around the tube. Yes.

23:55 Drew Oh. It's a valve.

23:56 Adam Yeah, no, I know it now. What if we took a catheter and we just stuck it halfway down the pike there and taped it off?

24:04 Drew It would drive you insane, hurt.

24:05 Adam I know, but what if I could push through? Would semen come out of the tube?

24:10 Drew Even then, it wouldn't get to the tube part. You know what I mean? It wouldn't likely get to the lumen.

24:16 Adam Why wouldn't it get to the tube part? It'd still go around? You don't think it'd push through the tube?

24:21 Drew Very little.

24:21 Adam All right, well, this is disappointing. Christine?

24:25 Caller Yes, you guys never cease to interest me.

24:28 Adam All right, so you've masturbated, and what else?

24:31 Caller Yeah, and then at age 10, I was sort of forced into giving my first sort of blow job to my older boyfriend, which is extremely young, in my opinion.

24:44 Drew How old was he?

24:45 Caller What was it?

24:46 Drew How old was he?

24:48 Caller He was 15, yeah.

24:49 Adam 15? And he had a 10-year-old girlfriend?

24:52 Drew That's crazy.

24:53 Caller No, no, no, I totally realize that now because.

24:56 Adam I know.

24:57 Caller He had problems, but of course, I didn't see that.

24:59 Adam What about anyone around you? Did your parents see you're popping around with a 15-year-old?

25:05 Caller No, I totally just, you know, the whole, when you're young, you get the parents.

25:10 Drew You're freaking me out. How did your parents not know about it?

25:13 Caller That I was doing stuff with him? They knew I was hanging out with him, but.

25:17 Drew Well, just hanging out. See, if my daughter was hanging out with a 15-year-old, I would.

25:20 Adam No.

25:21 Drew No, no way.

25:22 Adam Yeah, so, all right, so you did this, and that's weird and freaky out a little bit, and what else?

25:27 Drew What's the question?

25:28 Caller Okay, so then I sort of did more sexual things, and I thought, I sort of, well, my question is, now I feel kind of, I felt really, whenever I get hooked up with someone, I feel very, like, I feel used, I guess is the word.

25:45 Adam Yeah.

25:45 Caller And I also feel kind of socially stuck because now I feel too immature to hang out with like the older group.

25:54 Adam All right, all right, listen, listen. Christine, listen to me, I'm a genius. Quiet, quit flapping your lips there. Here's the thing, you're 15. I know you feel like a seasoned veteran because of these people have done these things to you and whatever you've done to yourself. But reality is, is you're 15.

26:12 Drew Right.

26:13 Adam What you need to do is you're all up in your head. You need to just, A, cool your jets a little with the sexuality and the boyfriends and what have you. B, there's nothing wrong with you, you're not damaged goods. C, a little therapy wouldn't hurt for a 10-year-old that was forced to perform oral sex on a 15-year-old. So that's always a good thing. But don't sit around and examine things constantly. I mean, if you want to examine things, get a little work, get a little counseling, see a shrink, what have you. Don't walk around like you're damaged goods. Have your relationships, but you don't have to.

26:48 Drew Right.

26:48 Adam Just slow it down a little bit. You're 15, everybody. Just take it.

26:52 Drew Everybody.

26:53 Adam Slow it down, everyone's 15. Let's take a quick break. Drew's 15, there's three of them living inside his show.

27:00 Drew Yeah, we can do.

27:01 Adam All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, puddle of mud in here tomorrow night. Haven't seen those guys in a long time, have we?

27:48 Oh, oh, hiccups.

27:50 Adam Drew's got hiccups, this is gonna be funny. All right, what's up?

27:54 Drew Okay, this is where the catheter goes, right? Drew, show me the book, the male anatomy book.

27:59 Adam It goes up the urethra and it goes all the way up.

28:01 Drew And it goes all the way to the bladder, and this is where the balloon is inflated so it can't pull out. And that's where the end of the tube is, so the bladder just drains directly by gravity.

28:10 Adam Well, how, if they inflate a balloon, I forgot about the balloon part. They inflate a balloon, how does the urine get into the tube?

28:20 Drew This thing just fills up. The balloon's only a few millimeters.

28:24 Adam But how do you inflate it if it's just one hose? Does the hose have two openings, two channels?

28:29 Drew Yeah, it's got two channels. We fill the balloon with water, really.

28:32 Adam Oh, really? And then you block that channel off so it stays inflated, and then the urine comes out the other channel. Sweet.

28:40 Drew And then here's the ejaculatory duct right here. Here's the seminal vasculis.

28:44 Adam Stop touching me.

28:45 Drew Here is where, if this is the penis straightened out, so the catheter goes right down here, look where the ejaculatory ducts are.

28:52 Adam Uh-huh. It just hit the tube. Well, my plan is to catheterize myself, but only a partial catheter, go about halfway down my penis, about an inch and a quarter, and stop it there, tape it off, and then begin the masturbation.

29:11 Drew Inflate the balloon.

29:11 Adam Try to get a little extra girth. Smart. Yeah, tape it off there, and then begin the masturbation, see if I get semen to come out of it.

29:19 Drew A common phenomena happens in old confused patients, agitated patients, they will pull on that balloon until it comes right on out the end.

29:28 Adam Oh.

29:28 Drew Oh, yeah.

29:29 Adam Oh, it's like getting shot with an arrow and just yanking that arrow head out of you.

29:34 Drew All the way through, yeah.

29:36 Adam Oh, oh no. No. Then there gotta be some kind of safety release or some kind of breakaway thing on there.

29:42 Drew You would think.

29:43 Adam But then, what if the hose breaks away and the-

29:46 Drew Stays inside?

29:47 Adam Stays inside, it'll drain. But how do you get it out?

29:50 Drew They'd probably use a cystoscope.

29:51 Adam Oh, they gotta go in there with the claw.

29:53 Drew Yeah.

29:53 Adam All right, let's talk to John. John? 28, what's up?

30:02 My wife had a baby about a year and a half ago. And she now smells after that. I don't know what kind of smell it is, but I mentioned it to her once. And then for hints, I've like went out and bought like the Epsom salt, the stuff that you put in the bathtub that is like, smells like strawberries and stuff like that.

30:24 Drew Yeah, that ain't going in her vagina though.

30:26 Adam That ain't gonna work that out.

30:28 Drew This is probably an infection.

30:29 Adam Hold on, that's like having rotting pot roast in the refrigerator and you put a little Fantastic or 409 on the outside and wiping it down. You still open that fridge, you get a nose full of hell.

30:43 Drew Yeah, yeah, buddy. Has she been back to your doctor since that?

30:46 Adam Chris, digs that one. Yeah.

30:49 Drew God, he's laughing.

30:50 Adam He's laughing.

30:52 Drew John, has she been to see her doctor since the pregnancy? And what did they say? What did they talk about this?

30:58 Caller Well, I don't think she mentioned it to the doctor.

31:00 Drew All right, it's probably an infection. And so she needs to mention it to the doctor.

31:04 Caller Okay.

31:05 Drew Okay, antibiotic-

31:06 Adam Anything to do with the baby? Throw off the floor and the fauna down there?

31:09 Drew I doubt it. You know, placenta has its own lovely smell. I realize- You know what it smells like is, what's the mushroom that the pigs get in France?

31:18 Adam Those are truffles.

31:20 Drew Truffles, yeah. Smells like truffle oil.

31:23 Adam Truffle, by the way, nothing sounds less like a mold that grows under the earth that pigs sort out.

31:32 Drew Sounds like a chocolate.

31:34 Adam Truffle, like if someone says, hey, I'm gonna go to the store and grab some truffles. Put me down. Put me down for Baker's Dozen of those. I'm picturing something like a flaky crust with a creamy center. This idea of truffles. Truffles, I don't know what it is, but once in a while, something gets the wrong name. And truffle is the wrong name.

31:55 Drew Absolutely.

31:56 Adam Garnish isn't a good one either.

31:58 Drew Call it placental.

31:59 Adam Garnish, garnishing your wages. But truffle is a disaster. Yeah. It really is.

32:07 Drew Yeah, you kind of would like your wages garnished.

32:09 Adam Sounds good.

32:09 Drew Sounds like parsley on your wages.

32:11 Adam Hey, Drew, we're gonna garnish your wages, yeah?

32:13 Drew Parsley or watermelon slice?

32:15 Adam Yes or no? Yes or no?

32:16 Drew Of course, I want some garnishment.

32:18 Adam Put you down for the garnishment? Engineer Chris, I'm gonna garnish some wages, yeah? Put you down for that?

32:23 Drew That'll be cool.

32:24 Adam All right, maybe get a little orange wedge.

32:26 Drew Yeah.

32:27 Adam Get a little parsley.

32:27 Drew Parsley would be great.

32:28 Adam Be nice. Sometimes I take a radish and cut out, make it look like a swan. That's what it seems like.

32:33 Drew Yeah.

32:34 Adam Also, casualty. Casualty, not as heavy a word as it should be. Yeah, we suffered some casualties. You got dead guys. There's body parts all over the place. It's a casualty. Casualty sounds like a shirt that you would wear somewhere. What's the dress code? Casualty. No denim, please, but it's casualty. It just, casualty doesn't sound like death.

33:01 Drew No.

33:02 Adam It's got the word casual right in it. I mean, you know, mortar round goes off the foxhole. There's parts everywhere and innards and you get a little brain on you and it's like, that's a casualty of war. No, that's a casualty. Well, he'll be coming back soon, though, won't he? No, no, it's casual.

33:17 Drew It's casual.

33:19 Adam And actually, it's gone in the ground where the truffles are. Like, who would, a truffle is a piece of mold that's covered with dirt that only a pig can find.

33:27 Drew Yeah.

33:28 Adam And a casualty means body parts.

33:31 Drew Nice.

33:31 Adam Drew and about.

33:31 Drew Perfect.

33:33 Adam And garnish your wage means we're taking money from you. We gotta work these things out. They don't sound heavy enough. And why is it only these pigs can find these truffles?

33:42 Drew Yeah, I have no idea.

33:44 Adam And again, couldn't we use these pigs?

33:46 Drew Yes.

33:48 Adam To sniff out.

33:49 Drew Pregnancy.

33:50 Adam Pregnancy.

33:51 Drew Yeah.

33:52 Adam Pig, if a pig could find a truffle that was buried in the ground. And you know, the poor pig, it's like, hey, once you find enough truffles, we're gonna slaughter you and eat you with the truffles. We're having pork chops and truffles tonight. Yeah, fine, well, you got 28, find 30, and then go ahead and stab you and bleed you. That's gotta suck, right? It's like, I gotta have truffles. Yeah, enjoy those truffles. Oh no, this is a side dish. Not gonna be eating these. You don't just eat truffles, you gotta have some pig, too. Very, very cruel world, Drew, very cruel. Travis?

34:24 Caller Yes?

34:25 Adam Year 20?

34:26 Caller Yes, sir.

34:27 Adam What's happening?

34:29 Caller My question's for Dr. Drew. I actually think I contracted herpes from my work environment.

34:36 Drew Where do you work?

34:37 Caller Yes.

34:38 Drew Where do you work?

34:39 Caller I work at an adult bookstore in El Cerrito.

34:43 Drew And where are the herpes?

34:46 Caller On my mouth and actually on my hands.

34:50 Drew In multiple sites and hands?

34:52 Caller Yeah.

34:54 Adam Are you cleaning out the stalls?

34:56 Caller Oh, I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and I've actually got checked out.

35:00 Adam I thought it was a euphemism for going down on your lady.

35:02 Drew It was like garnishing.

35:04 Adam You cleaning out her stalls, baby? No, I mean at the adult bookstore. Drew, you've not frequented these places.

35:12 Drew Can't say I have.

35:13 Adam Chris, is this before your time? Before my time, yes. What's he care? He's living at home, beating himself a river every night over there. His mom's 10 feet away asleep. Picture of him by the nightstand.

35:24 Caller Hey, but I'm cleaning out the stalls.

35:26 Adam The point is, you used to go in these places. They had a little flapping door with a little barrel bolt lock on it and a roll of paper towels.

35:37 Drew Nice.

35:38 Adam Brazenly strewn across the thing. Just pow. When you see that roll of paper towels.

35:43 Drew Yeah, but just think what the process they had to go through to motivate them to put that up there. It didn't start with it up there. It's like, holy Christ.

35:50 Adam First four years we're in business, no paper towels.

35:53 Drew Well, we're kidding. Put the towels up there.

35:55 Adam Talking about casualty.

35:56 Drew Yeah, they had a mop, mopping guy.

35:59 Adam They still got the mopping guy. Have seen the mopping guy. That's weird eye contact, by the way. You just left the stall and the mopping guy's head in your way. It's a weird little, you know, you lock eyes for a heartbeat and then sit just right back down at the shoes. Like, oh no, hey brother. Hey, that's job security. We need a clean up aisle five. Yeah, get on that, would you?

36:20 Drew Stall five.

36:21 Adam Stall five.

36:22 Drew Stall five.

36:22 Adam Yeah, dropped a little semen in there. Hope I'm not going to have to pay for it. Hop on that. And again, symbiotic relationship. I'm confused.

36:30 Drew I'm confused. What do you mean, aren't there women that frequent these and go and sit in there? I don't understand. Men and women the same. They're for the same. They're for women. Let's go to these things.

36:40 Adam Well, here's what I would imagine.

36:41 Drew Or society made you that way, Adam. Made you. Forced you.

36:45 Adam It requires you to do that. Yeah, no, Drew, they're the male ones where the guys hang out and look at pictures of naked women. And then there's the ones that have the pictures of the naked men.

36:59 Drew The women.

36:59 Adam Where the gays hang out. It's all men. Could you imagine, and by the way, could you imagine for just a hummingbird's heartbeat that there would be such a place, and these places would have these peep shows and stuff. Could you imagine a sort of an octagon shaped plywood shack in the center was like a mirror. I know it sounds like Madonna video, but lights and a thing, and a guy dancing nude in front of it, and chicks just met, just business women. You know, could be attractive, you know, early 20s. Just diddling themselves sitting on a bench looking at checking the guy out while he's dancing.

37:36 Drew Here's the really amazing thing about that. In order for that to even begin to work, they'd have to have masseuses. And then people for the hair and nails and stuff. And in four seconds, the guy wouldn't even be noticed.

37:47 Adam Let me say this. I'll get to Travis in a second. But let me, you bring up a good point, which is women don't go for this. I mean, there's no way.

37:58 Drew There's no drive for this.

37:59 Adam There's no way a woman is going to go into the female equivalent of this kind of thing, feed a few tokens into a projector, and beat herself silly with the door close and the mop check out there.

38:14 Drew If we raised a woman like an Amazon.

38:16 Adam Impossible.

38:18 Drew Just threw her meat. They don't have it in them. I mean, impossible.

38:21 Adam All right. But let me say this. Men have this drive, this capacity, and it's heat powerful. It can't be denied.

38:29 Drew But you can't scare it out of them.

38:32 Adam Right.

38:32 Drew They tried for history.

38:33 Adam But let me say this now, in just the fairness department. What women, you brought up masseuse, what women, the equivalent of this is, oh, they go to the spa. Yeah. And they get handled over there. And they get naked and they get rubs and they get salted and they get peeled and they get loofahed and oftentimes it's the hands of a guy and they're totally naked. There's a stranger guy, you know, working them over and all that kind of stuff. That stuff, totally acceptable. And by the way, we pay for it. Now, that is less a biological drive than us going to the strip bar, us going to whatever.

39:09 Drew And arguably a little more of a boundary violation. Somebody's touching them.

39:13 Adam You're nude, baby. I just got my fly down. Yeah, okay. Yeah, listen. Okay. All right. I may be getting a lap dance, but I'm wearing a pair of super denim jeans and some BVDs here, and I got a flannel shirt on, and there's 80 other guys sitting around me. I'm actually bumping elbows with half these idiots. We're sitting out in the middle of an open place. You go in a room, you lock the door. The guy lights a candle, puts on a little onion, tells you to disrobe, seeing the hands sliding under the towel, and all, oh, what's it cost us? 120 bucks. Oh, plus tip.

39:52 Drew Plus the tip, because they work for the tip.

39:53 Adam Now imagine this. Hey, baby, I'm going to the nudie bar. We're going to need some 20s. Yeah, you'll be paying. You'll be paying. I'm going to get a couple lap dances, sit by the side of the stage. We're going to need a dime to toss the guy in the bathroom, because we'll get a lot of Purell. Give me a shot of that Purell so I can clean my hands up a little bit.

40:14 Drew You'll pay?

40:16 Adam You're paying? No, not in a million years. But them, it's like, hey, I need some money. I go get naked and have a guy handle me.

40:22 Drew Let's not even take it to that extreme. How about how you would be dealt with for going where you go as opposed to how you're supposed to react to where they go?

40:29 Adam Please, please. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Them going to strip, oh, they're enlightened. They're like a Roman. Yeah, them going to the spa. They go to their exchange important ideas. Health. Yeah, it's health. Health. What we do is lascivious and dirty and dank and disgusting. And what they do, that's a good thing. And our things are much more biologically driven motivator than what they got. And I'm sickened by all of it. We gotta take, listen, if they're gonna get health clubs, we gotta get strip clubs. That's it. And they want us to pay? You gotta pay for us going to the strip club. And believe me, what we're doing is in front of a huge group of guys. And I'll tell you this too, none of the chicks are interested in us.

41:13 Drew Oh, that's for sure.

41:14 Adam You got some 22-year-old dude who's got his hand up your toaster. Believe me. He's got some ideas. How dare you. How dare all of you. My wife needs to go to the spa because she got too vigorous a rubdown at the last spa she went to. Are you kidding me? Oh, and you got a tip. They're only getting 120 bucks for 50 minutes work. How are they gonna survive? The guy's got six months of correspondence college under his belt and you just get paid like an attorney or a doctor? Oh my Christ. All right, Drew, I'm sick. You all sicken me. Let's take a quick break. What did Travis want? He got herpes?

41:59 Drew We'll talk to him.

41:59 Adam After this.

42:04 So get your problems ready.

42:09 Adam Drew, how much money do guys spend trying to get checks? Into the billion? Yes. Cars?

42:15 Drew Everything.

42:16 Adam Condos?

42:16 Drew Everything.

42:17 Adam Hair plugs? All they need is some axe, deodorant, body spray, and a million dollars. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, this is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LEE-191. Oh, yeah, Drew.

42:50 Drew All right, let's have a little herpes talk here.

42:52 Adam Yeah, herpes talk.

42:53 Drew Travis got herpes from someone at his place of employ. How did that happen, exactly?

42:59 Caller I have no idea.

43:01 Drew And how do you know it's herpes that you have?

43:03 Adam He works at Adult Bookstore, by the way.

43:06 Caller Yeah. I just know I've seen friends with herpes before.

43:09 Drew Where is your problem?

43:12 Caller It's on my lips and somewhere on my hands.

43:16 Drew Both hands?

43:17 Caller On my hands.

43:19 Drew Both hands?

43:19 Caller No, just my, actually, my left hand.

43:22 Drew On one finger?

43:23 Caller No, it's like between my thumb and my pointer finger.

43:28 Drew In the sort of web area there? It's blisters?

43:32 Caller Little red blisters, yes. And they pus and they pop. And I know I didn't get it from my girlfriend. I don't cheat on her or sleep with anybody.

43:41 Drew How long has it been there on your hand? How long has it been there?

43:44 Caller It's been there for the past couple of days.

43:46 Adam Yeah, August is butt plug dealing days.

43:49 Drew Oh, yeah?

43:49 Adam Yeah, I saw the banner up front of the plugs.

43:51 Drew What were we calling used butt plugs last night? I don't remember. What was that?

43:56 Adam I don't know, but you guys... Hey, Travis, you guys...

43:59 Caller You'll be in booth number six.

44:03 Drew No way.

44:04 Adam Who's going into booth number six, Travis?

44:07 Caller Sorry about that.

44:08 Adam All right. Two fellas going into one booth?

44:12 Caller Yeah, he paid me $10, and he's going to watch a movie in a booth.

44:16 Adam With another guy?

44:18 Caller Of course not. That's illegal.

44:20 Adam Oh, okay.

44:21 Drew How dare you? How dare you?

44:23 Adam I offended Travis' delicate sensibilities. He would never mop up the semen of two men. Only one huge man.

44:36 Drew What did we call the used-by plug last night?

44:38 Adam It was a name that sounded like something. Travis. Do you guys sell vibrators?

44:45 Caller We sell many vibrators.

44:47 Adam You have to test them out before you hand them over, right?

44:49 Caller Of course, because if it doesn't work, they can't bring it back.

44:52 Adam There's no returns.

44:54 Caller Of course not.

44:56 Adam No.

44:56 Drew How dare you?

45:01 Adam If there's ever a place that you could get something, I think this would be a good place for it.

45:07 Drew It's pretty hard to get herpes on the hand, but when it occurs there, it's called herpetic Whitlow. It usually occurs around the nail beds, like around the nail. It can be quite painful. Is it real painful down there in your hand? Uh-huh. It's usually, though, not something that develops on more than one site. So to have it on the mouth and the hand is kind of unusual. But it ought to be looked at, Travis. The problem is if it goes away before a doctor has a chance to look at it, it's very difficult to diagnose.

45:35 Caller I don't think I got it from either merchandise, but we do like rental returns and who knows?

45:41 Drew It could be an infection or something else. You're surmising this is what it is.

45:45 Adam Go to the doctor.

45:46 Drew Yeah, let somebody look at it. Again, I cannot stress this enough that when people call this program with skin problems, I can't tell what they're describing.

45:55 Adam This sounds like Arby's.

45:57 Drew Suspicious, but it could be a lot of other things too.

46:00 Adam People still renting videos. Porn?

46:04 Drew Is that what you do?

46:05 Adam No.

46:06 Drew What do you do?

46:06 You just buy it?

46:08 Adam I lease to own. It's different.

46:11 Drew Do you have a service that delivers regularly or something?

46:14 Adam I'm in a Jack of the Month club. Each year, each month, they bring over 45 new releases. I audition them, keep the ones I like, send back the ones I disapprove of, and then they bring me. In other words, I only pay for the ones I keep. It's like a book club. You hear the Wine of the Month clubs?

46:42 Drew Book of the Month, Wine of the Month, Jack of the Month.

46:45 Adam Same difference.

46:46 Drew I understand, of course.

46:49 Adam It wouldn't be a bad idea, but here's the thing. You can get a DVD, porno, You can get a DVD, porno, and a car wash for like four bucks now.

47:00 Drew They're car washes?

47:03 Adam Go to the right ones, yeah. The point is there's no reason to rent porno anymore.

47:10 Drew Because it's so cheap.

47:12 Adam It's just cheap and abundant. You can just go get some DVDs, go on the internet, get them, you know. Why are you handing it back and forth? What have you got when you fall in love with it? Every once in a while, it's like, and then you fall in love with the porno, and it's like the scene at the train station where the girl's leaving. All right! I'll miss you, my darling! Oh, yeah, very sad. We have a relationship, Drew. It's a relationship. Don't kid yourself. We're going to take ourselves a little break, right, Chris? All right, we'll be right back after this.

48:03 This hour brought to you in part by Axe.

48:06 Caller Experience the Axe Effect.

48:34 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Tay, it's really heating up out there, Drew.

48:40 Drew Outside?

48:41 Adam Outside, yeah.

48:42 Drew You know what, though? In the evening, it's nice. It's not that crazy heat that you can't get away from at any time during the day.

48:49 Adam Yeah.

48:50 Drew So that's nice, but it's been hot during the day. But I say to myself when I want to complain, just a few more weeks, and we had a nice July.

48:58 Adam Oh, yeah, we had a good July, and it may push through, though.

49:03 Drew You mean it may have pushed through.

49:05 Adam I don't know. We got punished in April inexplicably, end of March. 120 degrees out here. I like death valleys. I was reading in the papers 123 degrees today, and I thought, what kind of retard lives there? And it's got the word death right in it, and then valley.

49:23 Drew Both not good words.

49:25 Adam It's not called Green Valley or Lush Valley. It's called Death Valley. And by the way, who signed off on that? You know what I mean? How about we call it, well, the guy who founded it was Bob Johnson. So we're thinking about calling Johnson Valley. How about Death Valley? Yeah, that's good. That'll get tourism out. The Death Valley. Yeah, there you go.

49:51 Drew How about a Royal Grande?

49:53 Adam No, no, no. We'll call it Death Valley. How about Fiegelberg? Ooh. Well, now we got a dilemma. Yeah, I still think death. You put the word death right in the name of your county? Something like a great idea. Like, I even put hanging or lynching or something, but death.

50:16 Drew Maybe they wanted to keep people out and they didn't feel that the 120 degree heat would quite do the trick.

50:22 Adam Yeah, and maybe Death Valley's really called something else. And we just call it Death Valley.

50:28 Drew Yeah, once you live there.

50:30 Adam I mean, did anyone officially name it Death Valley? Or if you open some map of Nevada or California, where is it, in Nevada?

50:40 Drew California.

50:40 Adam It's in California, it's near Nevada. The border, must cross the border. No, okay, you open some map, don't you think it might just say, I don't know, have some sort of designation or something? I mean, do you think it's official title?

50:56 Drew Can we get on the web?

50:56 Adam Death Valley.

50:57 Drew Should I do it?

50:58 Adam Get on the web, Drew. You know how people get nicknames and they stick? Do you need to find out the guy's real name? You know what I'm saying? All right, look into that. I just can't believe everyone signed off on Death Valley.

51:11 Drew Yeah, it doesn't make that much sense. There's that whole Scottie's Place and all that Be Herdabelle stuff.

51:16 Adam No, but I know the road to Zizek's. Zizek's. Bryce? Yes. By the way, who names a freeway off ramp like ZZZY? It's like a cartoon where someone's sleeping.

51:30 Drew But if you want people to remember it.

51:34 Adam I guess so. You know, kind of a-hole. I'm saying how stupid it is. Go ahead, Bryce.

51:42 Okay, about three weeks ago, I was with somebody and about a week and a half later, she called me and she said she had symptoms of herpes and asked if I had it. And I do. I've had it for years. I think I've had it since I was a kid and it was a herpes type one.

52:07 Adam Where are they?

52:10 I have a discoloration on my lip and that's the only sign that I've ever had it. And maybe once every two years when I get really, really sick and my immune system is down, I'll have an outbreak. But that hasn't happened.

52:24 Adam On your lip?

52:25 On my lip, yeah.

52:26 Adam But not on your genitals?

52:28 No, I've never had it down there.

52:29 Drew All right, what's your question?

52:32 Well, so she's, we're almost positive that I gave it to her. I've got tested and I've got the results back. She's just waiting to make sure she definitely has herpes type one.

52:44 Adam But, this is your girlfriend or who is this?

52:47 No, this is somebody that I just.

52:50 Adam Hooked up with?

52:51 Yeah, we got together and we live in two different places.

52:55 Drew First of all, just because it was on your lips doesn't mean it was type one. It can be one or two on your lips.

53:00 Adam It can.

53:01 Drew Yeah, so whatever. How was she tested? What do you mean she was tested?

53:09 Well, she went to a clinician where she lived and she should be getting the results back any day now.

53:14 Drew Of what? Of a culture?

53:16 Yeah, she got a culture because she had the outbreak. Me and my guys got a blood test.

53:21 Drew Blood tests are essentially worthless, but go ahead.

53:24 Adam Where did she get her outbreak?

53:26 She got the outbreak down below her waist.

53:30 Adam Sure, sure.

53:32 All right, all right.

53:37 Adam Well, now you gave it to her.

53:39 Well, you see, I mean, I understand that. I've been with partners before, and I've never done anything on an outbreak, and this definitely was, there was no outbreak, but I guess.

53:51 Drew You cannot predict when you're producing virus. It's very difficult to predict.

53:54 Adam Only God knows when you're producing herpy virus.

53:58 Drew Even he has trouble.

53:59 Adam Oh, no, he can call it.

54:01 So now what's happening is I feel completely responsible because, so I feel responsible to pay for her medication and everything, all the costs like that, because I did know I have it.

54:14 Adam I just didn't realize that. All right, listen, that's fine. So why don't you do that?

54:19 Okay, and also.

54:21 Adam Does she have insurance?

54:23 I don't believe she does, no. She's in a different city and she's getting herself set up over there.

54:29 Adam All right, well, why don't you pay for the medication for an allotted period of time and let her get set up and then she's on her own?

54:36 Drew Usually the only treat for the initial outbreak and it's not that expensive, so.

54:40 Adam All right, so there you go.

54:42 Well, can I ask one more question, please? That's also that we talk and she's very upset.

54:51 Drew This is going bogus.

54:53 And so, what's that?

54:55 Drew Go ahead, keep going.

54:56 Adam It's starting to get bogus now.

54:59 No, it's, so she's upset and she's like, because she's 22 years old and she feels like her, you know, like who's going to want to be with me after, you know, because I have, you know, now she has a responsibility to tell everybody that she's right about this. And so, I don't know, I mean, that's true. And I don't know how to really calm her. I mean.

55:18 Adam Well, all right. There's really, I don't know what you can say about this.

55:22 Drew Yeah, you can't take it away. It's uncomfortable and it's stigmatizing. And it's miserable to have to deal with that. You don't know how your future partners are going to react to it. It's something she has to contend with now. I mean, she can be on antiviral medication chronically, and that will significantly decrease her risk of being able to transmit to other people. She can require her future partners to fastidiously wear condoms, which is something she should be doing anyway. So there you go.

55:44 Adam All right. And now there's some evidence that these things burn themselves out eventually and doesn't seem to be the life sentence that it was before.

55:54 Drew That's exactly the point. After 10 or 15 years, very often there's 10 or 15. It's the warts that go away in five years oftentimes. The herpes can take longer.

56:02 Adam So they didn't think the warts would go away at a certain point either. Yeah. Right. And those burn themselves out.

56:07 Drew Those do burn themselves out.

56:08 Adam The herpes, really 10 or 15?

56:10 Drew To really be non-infectious. As time goes along, the recurrence, the frequency of the recurrences go down. But in terms of really being low risk for infection, it takes 10, 15 years.

56:19 Adam What do you got with death valor?

56:20 Drew I'm finding all kinds of things, but nothing about the name yet.

56:23 Adam Where is it?

56:24 Drew Borax mining.

56:25 Adam California?

56:26 Drew Scotty, a colorful personality whose tales and exploits helped to publicize The Valley.

56:30 Adam Is it near the Nevada border? It's not that close.

56:34 Drew Borax works.

56:35 How close?

56:37 Adam That's got to suck. What do you do? I live in Death Valley. Uh-huh. What do you do? I mine. I mine borax. All right. What year is it? It's 1902. All right. You got air conditioning? No. Won't be invented for another 60 years. Smart. Sure you don't want to work on a whaling ship or something good like that? Nope. Drew.

56:59 Drew Yeah.

57:00 Adam All right. Where is it? Find me a map.

57:02 Drew Hold on. Let me get you the name first. I'm sorry. I found somebody who actually asked for the name.

57:06 Caller All right.

57:09 Drew Here we go. Well, the popular story is that one of the women in the 49ers group, people from the mining group.

57:16 Adam Gold Rush.

57:17 Drew Turned back as they were finally leaving and said, goodbye, Death Valley.

57:21 Adam Right. So, the big Gold Rush hit in 49 in like Sutter's Mill or something. Everyone went to San Francisco to get in on it. People were mining in Death Valley. And she said, kiss my ass.

57:35 Drew Death Valley.

57:36 Adam Death Valley. It was probably called something else then. And that's then the name Stuck.

57:41 Drew Exactly. Here's a definition. People are, I'm sure, very interested in this.

57:45 Adam Yeah. It's just the idea that...

57:47 Drew It's in the Mojave Desert. It's all in California.

57:48 Adam The place gets called Death Valley.

57:50 Drew Oh, along the California-Nevada border. Approximately 160 miles, 100 miles west of Las Vegas.

57:56 Adam Oh. So it runs along the border. Do you think the border goes around Death Valley? I wouldn't want to include Death Valley into my state.

58:05 Drew Right. So they closed it out. Nevada has enough trouble, let's face it. Really?

58:11 Adam I mean, does it just stop at the border? Or does it spill into Nevada?

58:15 Drew No, it's in California.

58:17 Adam It runs along the border. All right, let's talk to, um, hmm. Kristen? Hey, baby doll, what's happening? Thanks for calling tonight. All right, Drew, that's enough Death Valley trivia. Come over here. Sit down. Go ahead, Kristen.

58:37 Well, my friend, my best friend, who's been my best friend ever since I was like two, she just came out of the closet and said she was a lesbian and now I have to go to basketball camp with her in about a week and I don't know how to act around her or anything, so like how do I, I don't know, how do I act around her?

58:55 Drew No differently, no differently than you've ever had to.

58:57 Adam Well, except for the part where you urinate into a fire extinguisher and spray her all day long.

59:03 Drew That's what guys do.

59:03 Adam Oh, that's what guys do. Oh, chicks don't do that?

59:06 Drew No.

59:06 Adam Hmm. Well, I'm stumped then. Hey, go ahead and treat her the same. Basketball camp? Where are you going to basketball camp?

59:15 Hoop Mountain basketball camp.

59:17 Drew Where?

59:17 Adam Where do you go?

59:18 Drew Who?

59:19 Where? Hoop Mountain.

59:21 Adam Hoop Mountain? Wow, that's just... You're not going to a Dunk Valley?

59:30 Drew Dunkville.

59:31 Adam Dunkville. Or a Layupburg or any place like that. You're going up to Hoop Mountain, huh? All right. And how long do you stay for basketball camp?

59:42 It's five days altogether.

59:44 Adam Five days. That's cool. Like a camp for everything now. Space camp, all sorts of sports camps.

59:49 Drew Kids love this stuff, too. In my day, camp was sort of a punishment, send you away to camp.

59:54 Adam You went to camp like the Jews went to camp, you know what I mean?

59:57 Drew Yeah. So I'm talking work camps.

59:59 Adam Yeah. They're gulags, really. You just go there. Yeah, they go there. Well, you sit under a tin roof making lanyards for 17 hours, and then if you're lucky, you can look at a picture of a canoe.

1:00:11 Drew I remember lanyard and resins, like hardening.

1:00:15 Adam Did you go to sleepover camp?

1:00:16 Drew Yeah. Oh, really?

1:00:19 Adam I went to camp one time, and you're probably wondering, like, how did that go?

1:00:24 Drew Oh, my God, how did that happen? Some of your friends dragged you along.

1:00:27 Adam My dad's sofa capsized in a storm and actually knocked him off it.

1:00:32 Drew And?

1:00:33 Adam He hit his head on the coffee table.

1:00:34 Drew Oh, and you got away.

1:00:35 Adam I was a dad for about 10 minutes at Amnesia.

1:00:39 Drew You thought he was Marianne?

1:00:40 Adam I'll tell you what happened. Here's what happened. Our neighbor guy moved in, and he ran a camp. And I used to babysit.

1:00:51 Drew Oh, that's a recipe for sexual abuse.

1:00:52 Adam I used to babysit. He was a good guy.

1:00:54 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:00:54 Adam Yeah.

1:00:55 Drew Yeah, sure.

1:00:55 Adam I used to babysit the neighbor, the neighbor's kid.

1:00:59 Drew Oh, that was the two boys, right?

1:01:00 Adam No. That was Reeve and Ronnie. This was Adam.

1:01:04 Drew This is Adam, whose Count Chocolat you would raid.

1:01:07 Adam Well, whatever was in the refrigerator or in the pantry, I would raid. I was like a crazed raccoon. Raccoon, yeah. Yeah, I would open up, I opened up a can of pie filling, dumped it into a bowl, put baby marshmallows on it.

1:01:22 Drew And the Count Chocolat on top of that.

1:01:24 Adam Whatever. Do you know what pie filling is? I mean, it's not pumpkin pulp. I'm talking about cherry pie filling. Just syrup, just pure syrup, little bits of purie cherry in it.

1:01:37 Drew Oh, you thought you'd hit pater, too.

1:01:38 Adam I looked at it, I think it's a picture of a pie. Holy Christ, what kind of confection is this? There's a can.

1:01:48 Drew And you figure they'd never miss it.

1:01:49 Adam It's got a picture of cherry pie on it. They must have been emptying the garbage, like, who the hell ate a can of, what, the Manson's that crawl in here in the middle of the night? It's like something a homeless guy would do. Yeah, it was so crazed because my mom was a health food nut. I went in there, opened up that can. But see, when you see the can, it has the picture of the pie on it. That's what gets you. I loved pie. Now, it was a little disappointing when I poured it out and it was like pie soup, you know?

1:02:17 Drew Yeah, like you cared.

1:02:18 Adam Still ate it.

1:02:20 Drew He had some cereal to it.

1:02:22 Adam He ran a camp, but it was like somewhere like around Magic Mountain or Valencia or something. And it was just like a plot of dirt. And he must have said, you know, you should come out and come with me and do this. Went over there one time. That was my camp experience. There wasn't nothing going on. Here's the thing. You go to camp, you got to have a lake. You go in the middle of the chaperone to sit there and pull foxtails and burrs out of your socks and it's just all dried scrub and everything's brown, just dirt everywhere. There's nothing going on. You may have like a horse. I think maybe they had a pool or something, but you need a lake. You need a campfire. You need some trees. Know what I mean?

1:03:00 Drew Yeah, absolutely.

1:03:01 Adam Where'd you go to camp?

1:03:04 Drew Catalina. YMCA camp.

1:03:07 Adam Shelly?

1:03:07 Yeah.

1:03:08 Adam You're 18?

1:03:09 Caller Yeah.

1:03:10 Adam What happened? What's up? Yeah.

1:03:14 Caller Adam, oh my gosh. I love you so much, man. I've been listening to you since like I was 12.

1:03:20 Drew Bitchin. Very moving.

1:03:21 Adam I'm gonna be on Kimmel tonight if you want to see me in the flesh.

1:03:25 Drew Don't blow the cover. It'll ruin it. She has this great image of you and all.

1:03:29 Adam You see me? I'm wearing a suit, baby. He's exquisitely passionate man.

1:03:35 Caller So what's going on? I heard you guys are talking about Death Valley.

1:03:38 Adam Yeah. What do you know about Death Valley?

1:03:41 Caller Well, I've actually been there. It's really cool.

1:03:43 Adam Yeah, I've been there, too. Who cares?

1:03:46 Caller I mean, hey, you know, there's a blip on your radar.

1:03:50 Adam Now, do you know anything about Death Valley?

1:03:52 Caller Well, I've been there, and I know that it actually, it runs along the border of California and Nevada, but it does dip in in Nevada.

1:04:00 Drew Oh, it does go in?

1:04:01 Caller Yeah.

1:04:02 Drew Not what they said on the web.

1:04:04 Caller Well, there's a lot of misconceptions about it.

1:04:07 Adam Why do you know so much about Death Valley?

1:04:09 Caller I've been there. My parents take me on big old long vacation trips and stuff.

1:04:13 Adam All right, you've been there, but I think I've been there. Why do you know so much?

1:04:19 Drew So far, I haven't heard anything.

1:04:20 Caller I'm a history buff, Adam. I love history.

1:04:23 Drew Okay, so where'd the name come from?

1:04:24 Caller The name actually came from the 49er party, like you said. She said goodbye to Death Valley, but that's also because they lost some people in their party there because in the summertime, the temperature will reach up into the 125s.

1:04:38 Adam Yeah, you got to be. And by the way, chicks ain't wearing shorts in a halter top back then. They're looking like a little house on the prairie dolls, you know? 125. By the way, do you really just put down stakes there? Don't you keep moving? Hey, folks, we could be in Malibu in a few days. Let's keep on trucking.

1:05:01 Drew One of the gold and the silver and stuff.

1:05:04 Caller It's part of the Sierra Desert, so it's really, really big.

1:05:09 Adam All right, baby doll. I think Death Valley may be the hottest place on the planet, by the way.

1:05:14 Drew Yeah, it has the highest... That was on the web, too. 134 degrees.

1:05:17 Caller It also has the lowest point in the eastern hemisphere.

1:05:21 Adam Thanks, baby doll. Shelly's like a stoner antlers. Crazy wealth of knowledge from somebody who's having trouble stringing together a sentence. But she knows her Death Valley trivia. Have you been out... I was going to Vegas for a bachelor party a year or so ago, and we got out of the bus somewhere around Death Valley, and it was probably 121, and it is a blast furnace.

1:05:50 Drew I've been in Phoenix when it was 120, 118.

1:05:54 Adam And what you do is you keep thinking you're standing next to something that's generating heat. Like you're standing next to a bus or a car or something. You think you must be by the exhaust or something. So you move, and it follows you.

1:06:07 Drew It is as uncomfortable as 50 below zero is on the cold end of the spectrum. It's as intolerable.

1:06:13 Adam Without the option of putting a park on.

1:06:16 Drew You can't escape it.

1:06:16 Adam It's brutal. I couldn't even imagine.

1:06:19 Caller All right.

1:06:20 Adam Let's talk to Alex. Alex? You're 18? What's up?

1:06:28 Caller Huh?

1:06:29 Adam What's happening?

1:06:30 Oh, yeah.

1:06:32 Caller I have a friend.

1:06:33 He's like really like big time drinking a lot and stuff.

1:06:38 Adam Mm-hmm.

1:06:39 And well, he comes to me every night like 2 o'clock in the morning.

1:06:46 Adam Morning.

1:06:49 Caller And he's like talking to me and stuff. And he's like, hey, I'm going to be drinking. Hopefully, it'll put me to sleep. And so he tries to drink.

1:07:02 Drew I think he's been drinking tonight.

1:07:03 Adam Do we got phone screeners?

1:07:04 Drew No. No. How dare you?

1:07:06 Adam What are we doing? Just randomly calling people across the United States? Yeah.

1:07:10 Drew We disturbed Alex, clearly.

1:07:13 Adam All right. Who is this guy?

1:07:17 Caller He's a friend of my dad's and we've been helping him out for like about six months.

1:07:23 Drew What's your question?

1:07:24 Caller My question is like, what should I do to help him out?

1:07:28 Drew With his alcoholism?

1:07:30 Adam Yeah.

1:07:31 Drew Take him to a program. Get him treated.

1:07:33 Caller He just, he doesn't want to like...

1:07:36 Drew Well, then start closing him out.

1:07:37 Adam He can't hang out.

1:07:38 Drew Yeah. You don't support his... If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. So, just don't support it. Just keep confronting him about what he's doing. Encourage him to get care and that's all you can do.

1:07:50 Caller And I was just wanting to ask about... Well, I have bipolar and like my doctor says that I'd have to depend more on my medicine. But I've like been trying to do other stuff so I didn't have to take my medicine so much. Like being out in the sun or exercising or other stuff that would help the chemicals or so and whatnot.

1:08:17 Drew That will help with the depressions. It doesn't do much with the mood stability. And if you truly have bipolar, you're going to have that the rest of your life just the way you'd have diabetes. And it needs constant management.

1:08:28 Adam And what can you do? Okay, so let's say you clean up your diet and you stop drinking and you start exercising. Is that going to help just like it helps diabetes?

1:08:39 Drew Absolutely. If you are bipolar and you're drinking, it's going to destabilize the bipolar. And having structure in your life and feeling better about yourself and having less fluctuations in what you eat and how you eat, that will all help. Mm-hmm. You're looking at Chris. Yeah, well. You're worried about the lad.

1:08:58 Adam I'd just like to see him stop fluctuating.

1:09:01 Drew Really?

1:09:01 I'm fluctuating?

1:09:04 Adam He thinks that means farting. I'm just growing with it. No, you're fine, buddy.

1:09:09 Caller I'll stop then.

1:09:10 Adam Please. We'll take a quick break, Drew. Who are we going to talk to when we come back?

1:09:15 Drew A great call.

1:09:16 Adam A great one?

1:09:16 Drew Yeah.

1:09:17 Adam All right. After this.

1:09:20 Caller This is your radio.

1:09:49 Adam Thank Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. who? Dr. Drew, everybody. All right, let's hop back to the phone, see if we can help the kiddies. What do you say now? There we go. Let's break it down. Hey, let's go now. Let's get a hand in. What do you say, Chris? Let's go, buddy. Break it down now. Gentlemen, and I use that term loosely, grab a knee, grab a knee. And I'm gonna tell you this too, helmet, not a chair. Take a knee. Take a knee.

1:10:19 Drew It's usually more take a knee than grab a knee.

1:10:21 Adam Take a knee? No, we grab some knees.

1:10:23 Drew Occasionally, but you just take a knee.

1:10:24 Adam One knee. Two knees. You don't do two knees.

1:10:27 Drew No.

1:10:27 Adam Two knees when you're giving a guy a BJ in the park.

1:10:32 Drew When you were nine, is that what your coach said to you?

1:10:34 Adam That's right.

1:10:35 Drew Yeah.

1:10:36 Adam He said, tying is like kissing your sister and taking two knees. It's like blowing a guy in the park.

1:10:41 Drew Yeah.

1:10:42 Adam Yeah. Eric?

1:10:47 Drew What's happening?

1:10:47 Adam You're 23.

1:10:49 Caller Yes, sir.

1:10:49 Adam What's happening?

1:10:51 Caller Got a problem with my girlfriend for some reason. We've been together like six years, and I've never done anything to make her not trust me or anything like that. But she's constantly paranoid thinking that I'm cheating on her. She drives by my work. I work nights. And she drives by to make sure my car is here. Whenever I call her from any place, she's always calling back to check up on me and see if I'm really calling from where I say I'm calling.

1:11:16 Drew How has your relationship been going? How has your relationship been?

1:11:21 Caller Good, other than that, it's frustrating to me because I gotta live day to day proving that I'm not.

1:11:27 Drew You never have cheated on her?

1:11:29 Caller Never. I've never done anything to make her not trust me in the slightest.

1:11:32 Drew Is she doing any drugs, speed, pot?

1:11:34 Caller No, no, no, no.

1:11:36 Drew Does that make you pretty bad?

1:11:38 Adam Yeah, so nothing changed. And all of a sudden she doesn't trust you.

1:11:42 Caller It's not even all of a sudden. I mean, it's been fairly constant, but it seems like the more serious we get, the more she's thinking that.

1:11:49 Adam All right, well, her dad cheated on her mom.

1:11:52 Caller Well, actually, her mom cheated on her dad.

1:11:55 Drew Oh, so maybe worse. She's used to chaos coming from relationships.

1:11:59 Adam Yeah. All right, so.

1:12:01 Drew And in fact, as you were describing this paranoia, I was thinking to myself, jeez, the only people that get that paranoid about somebody cheating for no reason are people that have cheated themselves.

1:12:09 Caller And I've thought of that too. But the thing is, I'm so trusting of her. I don't want to do the same thing, which is be checking up on her all the time, thinking that she's cheating on me, because I trust her more than that. But at the same time, I know how that works, that people accuse other people of cheating because they're cheating themselves. They're a little suspicious because they're doing that, cheating themselves. But I don't know if I should start checking up on her.

1:12:32 Adam All right, listen, here's the deal here, young Luke. I know, wait a minute, who are we talking to? Oh, Eric, yeah, I'm just going through my Bible. Eric, she has to stop this and control this, otherwise you're gone, daddy gone.

1:12:48 Drew Yeah.

1:12:49 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:12:50 Caller I can't be gone, daddy gone, because I am daddy.

1:12:54 Drew But there may be an unconscious desire to go record.

1:12:56 Adam She's going to have to grab a little therapy because if her mom was cheating on her dad, her compass is spinning around a little bit.

1:13:03 Drew How long ago was the child born?

1:13:06 Caller Turned coming up on three years old.

1:13:10 Adam And what are you doing? And why are you working in the middle of the night? What's going on?

1:13:13 Caller I'm a night owl. I got a good job. I just I can't wake up early in the morning until I get a night shift job.

1:13:18 Adam All right.

1:13:20 Caller It's better all around.

1:13:21 Adam What do you do?

1:13:22 Caller Do you think this is a better therapy that she should do on her own or something we should do together?

1:13:27 Adam I think you sound like you're pretty well put together.

1:13:30 Drew Yeah, better.

1:13:31 Adam It sounds like you came from.

1:13:32 Caller You should see me, Adam.

1:13:34 Adam It sounds like, now I'm worried.

1:13:36 Drew What the hell's happening?

1:13:37 Adam I have no idea. That's why he works at night. No one wants to work with him. All right. So listen, Eric. It sounds like you come from a decent family. Yes? Your parents treated you OK growing up?

1:13:52 Caller Yeah, I mean, not as bad as after-callers.

1:13:55 Adam Oh, not nearly. You don't have a bunch of baggage. It doesn't sound like Eric is looking around a lot of baggage. Not a lot.

1:14:02 Drew Not a lot. It's a little physical abuse.

1:14:04 Adam Little physical abuse, maybe?

1:14:07 Caller You know, a belt here and there, nothing major.

1:14:11 Adam Drew smelled that on him. All right, listen, no belts here or there for your kid.

1:14:15 Caller No, no, no, not at all, zero.

1:14:17 Adam Anyway, the point is she comes from a family. It's got some chaos. She's got a little chaos going in her. She's trying to then create that in your family. Thank you. And for that reason, she needs a little therapy. Now, a little couple's never hurt, but it sounds like she's the party that needs a little therapy. And feel free to tell her to do that before she screws the kid up anymore, and she already has. Thank you. Luke?

1:14:43 Drew Sure could feel that physical abuse in him, though.

1:14:46 Adam I got whacked around a little. Luke? 26.

1:14:51 Yeah, hey, how you doing?

1:14:52 Adam What's happening?

1:14:54 Not a whole lot, you know? Just listening to a great show.

1:14:59 Adam Thanks, buddy.

1:15:00 Caller Yeah, so I'm calling because recently sort of out of a relationship, but still sort of seeing each other about two and a half years.

1:15:12 Drew Hold on a second. You were in the relationship for two and a half years, or you've been out and kind of seeing each other for two and a half years?

1:15:17 Caller No, we've been seeing each other for two and a half years, just recently out. And just probably the last probably three or four months since we were living together, and now we're not. When we've been doing sex, it's been a little bit painful for me in terms of aerobic exercise. When I feel like I'm trying really, really hard, not like when you're running and you feel it and it feels really good and everything, but right when I'm trying to feel like I'm really good. No, this is sex. This ain't running. When you feel like you're really working, it feels good, but recently, it's been really, really painful in my chest. My heart feels like, I need to say, whoa, I need to stop. Something doesn't feel right.

1:16:04 Drew You're not doing any, you're not smoking cigarettes or speed or no medications. No, I don't smoke. No, I'm not a drinker.

1:16:10 Caller No.

1:16:11 Drew No medications.

1:16:12 Caller The only thing I take is, was it doxycycline?

1:16:18 Drew Is that it for acne?

1:16:20 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:16:22 Drew Well, you need a cardiac evaluation, Luke. Sometimes, there can be things you were born with that you're not aware of, that can be of a significance. And if you're having chest pain.

1:16:31 Caller Yeah, I've been to a doctor. I was trying out for a meningitis vaccine study over in Oakland, like a year and a half ago. And they found there's some weird stuff with my bilirubin count, so I couldn't participate.

1:16:43 Drew Well, that's called Gilbert's disease. That's nothing.

1:16:45 Caller Yeah, that's exactly what they got.

1:16:46 Drew Yeah, that's nothing.

1:16:47 Adam What's going on with the bilirubin?

1:16:49 Drew Gilbert, his indirect bilirubin gets elevated when he stresses, when he gets stressed. His eyes get yellow.

1:16:53 Adam What's a bilirubin?

1:16:54 Drew Bilirubin is a breakdown product of cholesterol, basically. It's your bile.

1:17:00 Adam Sounds like a good sandwich.

1:17:01 Drew Bilirubin.

1:17:01 Adam What are you going to have? Are you going to have slaw with that or fries?

1:17:05 Drew On rye. Bilirubin.

1:17:06 Adam Bilirubin. And give me a little dipping sauce, too. Look at that bile dipping sauce.

1:17:12 Drew Yeah, so Gilbert is a common thing. It's a normal variant.

1:17:15 Adam That's bilirubin and some truffle for dessert.

1:17:17 Drew That has nothing to do with your cardiac status. You need a stress evaluation, an echocardiogram, and you may, God knows, need an angiogram.

1:17:26 Adam All right. Well, get it checked out before you die on your girlfriend. It turns out one of those things where she can't get out from under you for four or five days until your body decomposes enough, loses enough fluid weight where she can actually snap an arm off and then use that to drag the phone closer to call 911.

1:17:46 Drew Yeah.

1:17:47 Adam Yeah.

1:17:48 Drew Nice.

1:17:49 Adam Yeah. Use it as a back scratcher. Carrie?

1:17:54 Caller Yes.

1:17:55 Adam You're 22?

1:17:58 Caller What's up? I'm just calling. When I was 19, I called up your show and I asked if, even if I had mild depression, if I needed to go on antidepressants. And Dr. Drew told me yes. And I just wanted to tell you that I am on antidepressants now and my whole life has just turned around.

1:18:15 Drew Oh, yeah. Good job, Carrie.

1:18:18 Adam Yeah. And you're living in Santa Cruz.

1:18:21 Caller Yeah.

1:18:22 Adam Man, that sounds nice.

1:18:23 Caller Oh, I was living in LA back then. That's probably part of the reason I was depressed.

1:18:27 Drew Right. It's part of that you've made some good choices since calling us.

1:18:30 Adam Sitting at those red arrows waiting to die. Yeah, that's depressing. Santa Cruz, Shangri-La.

1:18:37 Drew So nice up there.

1:18:38 Adam Oh, I'm telling you, if I was that Death Valley group, I would have just kept going.

1:18:42 Drew Half Moon Bay.

1:18:43 Adam Oh. I'm coming. I'm going up to Pebble Beach on Friday.

1:18:47 Drew Nice.

1:18:48 Adam Oh, sweet. All right, Carrie.

1:18:51 Drew Well, good.

1:18:52 Caller Okay. Thank you.

1:18:53 Adam What are you doing over there in Santa Cruz?

1:18:55 Caller I'm going to school and I'm an office manager for a finance company.

1:18:59 Adam And look at you. Doing great.

1:19:01 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:19:02 Adam I'm very proud.

1:19:03 Caller I finally found her the right one.

1:19:06 Adam Good. I don't know what she said, but good. It sounded positive. You know what I'm saying?

1:19:11 Caller Yeah.

1:19:11 Drew That just doesn't matter. Child.

1:19:13 Adam Whatever. She's doing good. I don't know what's going on tonight, but there's been an inordinate amount of compliments coming toward this show that we rarely hear.

1:19:21 Drew Very suspicious. I don't know.

1:19:23 Adam Something's going on?

1:19:24 Drew Something's wrong.

1:19:24 Adam Something's wrong. I mean, normally it's like, yeah, Dr. Chu, Alan, okay, and tonight it's like, hey, enjoy the show. I heard like eight enjoy the shows tonight. Maybe it's because I usually talk so much we only take two calls.

1:19:40 Drew Today we're taking some calls.

1:19:41 Adam Maybe that's it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm all talked out from doing Kimmel.

1:19:44 Drew They're trying to like reinforce your behavior.

1:19:47 Adam That's it. Yeah. Hey, it's a good thing to take calls. See, people are friendly. Nikki? Uh-oh, Nikki's calling from Riverside.

1:19:55 Drew What's up?

1:19:56 Caller Oh, hello. I have a question. Okay, the other night me and my boyfriend were trying to have sex and I had started crying just out of nowhere.

1:20:12 Drew I'm trying to list what you're... Wait, hang on a second. You and your boyfriend were trying to have sex?

1:20:18 Caller Well, yeah.

1:20:20 Drew What does that mean?

1:20:21 Caller That means we were really just like right there, but it didn't quite make it.

1:20:28 Drew Why? Why?

1:20:29 Caller I don't know. I just got all emotional and all sad and started telling him to go away.

1:20:35 Adam Yeah, that could be something. What do you think that is?

1:20:38 Drew Was this your first time being sexual with him?

1:20:41 Caller No, we had, but this is actually the second time this has happened. I just got curious because it happened the second time. It was one of the first, the first time I started trying.

1:20:51 Adam Yeah, so what do you think?

1:20:55 Drew Nikki?

1:20:58 Caller I don't know. We were just curious and my boyfriend wanted Drew to shrink me, I guess.

1:21:02 Adam I know. Well, look, here's the obvious stuff. First off, you're living in Riverside, I'm surprised.

1:21:08 Drew That would make most people cry.

1:21:10 Adam If I lived in Riverside, I would just be crying, like, how are you doing?

1:21:15 Drew But just think, if you got distracted and looked out the window while they were beginning to have sex.

1:21:20 Adam Why are you crying, Adam? It's Tuesday, I live in Riverside. What happened? You watching something sad? No, I'm just watching. I'm just watching TV. I'll just be bawling, a trail of tears following me all over the place, be like that Indian.

1:21:35 Caller It's not all that bad.

1:21:38 Adam I've labeled it as bad. It may not be Bakersfield bad, but it's still bad. And probably hotter in Bakersfield, Riverside.

1:21:47 Drew It's a close second.

1:21:49 Adam What's that?

1:21:50 Caller Oh, I just said it was 105.

1:21:53 Adam Beautiful. You know, people ought to go there to die, I realized it. You know cats will go under the house.

1:22:01 Drew Yeah, Riverside, really. That's where Death Valley should have been reserved.

1:22:05 Adam Yeah. Come for the heat, stay for the death. Let's go there to die. It seems a shame to screw up a nice place like Santa Cruz by dying in it. You know what I mean? Plenty open ground to bury stuff. Hey, Nikki?

1:22:23 Caller Yes?

1:22:23 Adam Were you ever molested?

1:22:26 Drew There you go.

1:22:27 Adam Well, there you go.

1:22:28 Caller What's your problem? I had been with other people and no.

1:22:33 Drew Well, Nikki, what happens when you've been abused is that people have a tendency to split into two senses of themselves, a good and a bad sense. You start to feel sort of dirty and bad and anything really sexual feels sort of like you don't want to show that to somebody you really truly feel intimate with.

1:22:48 Adam Drew split into boring and boring.

1:22:51 Drew Boring and more boring.

1:22:52 Adam Oh, that's right.

1:22:53 Drew And, Nikki, the thing is that when you actually do develop strong feelings for somebody and then try to be sexual, those two things don't go easily together for you. They make you feel somehow bad and negative and you can't show your sexual self to somebody you really care about. It's time for treatment when you get into that.

1:23:10 Adam Who did the molestation?

1:23:16 Caller I'd like to keep that a secret.

1:23:18 Adam Alright, well, go on with family member. I'm smelling, brother.

1:23:23 Drew Yeah, you gotta get treatment.

1:23:24 Adam You gotta get treatment. That's alright. You didn't do anything wrong. But you're 18, you got molested, and you gotta take care of it.

1:23:34 Drew I'm smelling grandfather.

1:23:35 Adam I smell grandpa. Yeah, I smell little grandpa. I smell that bad sweater. All right, Nicky, otherwise, it's gonna be tough.

1:23:45 Drew Yeah, you're gonna constantly, you're gonna cheat. That part of yourself that you feel is bad, in order to experience it, you have to be with bad people, and you're gonna cheat with bad people or be in a relationship with bad people. It's not a good thing.

1:23:57 Adam Yeah. Look, if you were molested, you need therapy. No ifs, ands, or buts, yes? All right, let's take a little break. We'll be right back after this.

1:24:09 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191 We'll be right back.

1:24:13 Adam Guess how many terrific sense acts, deodorant, body spray comes in? No, it's more. No, more. No, seven. Anyway, seven's enough, right? Hey, yo, Loveline. That's right, I'm Adam. That's my partner, Dr. Drew, my part. You ready to rock, buddy? Let's rock it. Let's go. Hey, who's in tomorrow night, Drew?

1:25:00 Drew Puddle O Mud.

1:25:01 Adam That's right, they are. It's been a while. I always get them in jars of clay confused. Thought they should tour together. Puddle Mud opening for jars of clay? Yeah?

1:25:13 Caller All right.

1:25:14 Adam Here we go now. Megan, you're 22.

1:25:19 Caller Yeah.

1:25:20 Adam What's happening?

1:25:22 Caller My boyfriend, who I've been seeing for about two years now, he's not really interested in having sex.

1:25:28 Drew How long has that been going on for?

1:25:32 Caller Since I met, pretty much his entire life apparently. He's 34 years old, and I was the first person he ever had sex with. But he's still not really interested in it.

1:25:45 Adam Well, wait a second. How old?

1:25:48 Drew 32.

1:25:49 Adam It was two years?

1:25:51 Drew Yeah. He was 32, his first sexual encounter? Yes.

1:25:55 Adam Drew, how much of your passion had you released by 32?

1:26:01 Drew Metric ton, volume.

1:26:05 Adam How much acreage is it covered? I know we can't go by weight. How much water would have displaced? More or less than an aircraft carrier?

1:26:15 Drew Oh, more high.

1:26:17 Adam California class aircraft carrier? This is about 800, 900 feet long.

1:26:22 Drew Yeah, OK, just about there.

1:26:26 Adam Yeah, so that's a weird one, losing virginity at 32.

1:26:31 Caller I didn't know when I started dating him. He apparently dated someone for about 10 years who was really big on no sex before marriage. And he was actually faithful to her and finally gave up the ghost stuff for about 10 years.

1:26:45 Drew That still put him in at 22.

1:26:47 Adam Why don't you get married, by the way, after being with someone for 10 years who doesn't want sex until marriage?

1:26:54 Caller I don't know.

1:26:55 Drew Well, there's...

1:26:56 Adam Thumbs up.

1:26:57 Drew Yeah, exactly. There's a couple possibilities here. A, he's got some sort of medical problem that needs addressing, two, some sort of developmental problem, a tuatary tumor, prolactin screening tumor, that sort of thing. Does he have normal secondary sexual characteristics, normal hair distribution?

1:27:13 Adam Let's see, does he work with computers?

1:27:16 Caller Huh?

1:27:17 Adam Does he work with computers?

1:27:18 Caller No, he's actually kind of more of an art type.

1:27:22 Adam Art type.

1:27:23 Drew And three, there may be something very, very wrong here that we need to know about. And number four, there is that guy, though, Adam. There is that guy, the low sex drive guy.

1:27:31 Adam Yeah, does he masturbate?

1:27:33 Caller I don't know. I've asked, he says no, but most guys lie.

1:27:37 Adam We ever find any pornography around the house? Anything on the computer?

1:27:41 Drew Let's test out that lying question, that lying sort of issue. Adam, do you masturbate?

1:27:46 Adam Yes.

1:27:47 Drew Okay. Lying.

1:27:49 Adam I mean, now?

1:27:50 Drew Not right at the second, but is that something you might be?

1:27:52 Adam Well, I am going now.

1:27:53 Drew Yeah, I know, I'd ask you to not, come on.

1:27:55 Adam It's a coincidence.

1:27:55 Drew I know.

1:27:57 Adam All right, Megan, I'm wondering why you're hanging out with this, you're 22.

1:28:02 Drew Mm-hmm.

1:28:04 Adam Something's, I don't know. I mean, you say he's an artsy type, what's he do?

1:28:09 Caller He actually works as an engineer.

1:28:13 Caller Okay.

1:28:14 Caller He just got out of college, and we met while he was in college.

1:28:17 Drew Why was he in college so late?

1:28:19 Caller He didn't start till later.

1:28:22 Drew Oh, hang on a second, hold on a second, Megan. The reason he didn't get out of, he got out of college so late, as he didn't start till later.

1:28:29 Adam Well, that's an answer. He didn't start till he was 27 or something.

1:28:34 Drew Why didn't he start?

1:28:35 Adam Whatever. Why didn't, how old's Chris?

1:28:40 Drew He's in college.

1:28:44 Adam Listen, Chris is gonna transfer to a four-year university in 12 years, and people are gonna wanna know, why'd you start so late? And it's like, well, that's my pace.

1:28:53 Drew It took my time.

1:28:54 Adam Took his time. Took his time, took his mom's time, took everyone's time.

1:28:58 Drew Megan, why so late?

1:28:59 Adam Took my tax money.

1:28:59 Drew What was he doing for the 10 years he should have been going to college?

1:29:03 Caller He spent like two or three years out working, and then he went to community college for a while. He had to put himself through college, and so he was never taking very many units, and he switched.

1:29:14 Adam All right. Why do you find that so suspicious? He got his degree. Look, here's the thing.

1:29:20 Drew Suspicious? What I find suspicious is he's in his mid-30s, and he's still going to school. Who's supporting him?

1:29:25 Caller No, he's no longer going to school.

1:29:27 Adam He was working.

1:29:28 Caller He was in college.

1:29:29 Adam He's done now. Listen, Megan, don't listen to Drew. Here's the thing. You tell him that he needs an evaluation and or a workup, or, and if there's nothing wrong with that, then you got the possibly gay, got some kind of weird mommy relationship with you, some deep psychological things, some trauma history, or he's just one of those guys whose metronome barely moves. Either way, this could be, feel free for this to be a deal breaker for you guys.

1:30:01 Drew If she wants, if not, if it works for her, but it sounds like it's not working. She wants to know why or how to make him more interested in that kind of stuff.

1:30:08 Adam Go ahead and have him evaluate it, and tell him he's got to step up to the plate if he wants to spend more time with you.

1:30:16 Drew Couldn't hang with that guy.

1:30:18 Adam Oh, Drew couldn't. But you know, we can hang, and I have almost no passion.

1:30:24 Drew Yeah, because your passion is all over the pamper.

1:30:27 Adam Right.

1:30:27 Drew Well, at least I know if you gave your passion five minutes to accumulate, there'd be passion.

1:30:32 Adam Oh, interesting. Amanda?

1:30:38 Hello?

1:30:39 Adam You're 17? What's up?

1:30:43 Caller I've been doing math for like 10 months now, and it hasn't been every day. It's been sporadically, whenever I can get my hands on it, and I just basically want to know like how do you know if you're addicted to it?

1:30:57 Drew Addiction is really the ongoing use in the face of adverse consequence, very simple. And if you're having things happen to you that are not so cool as a result of the relationship with that drug, that's addiction. Now, the other piece of evidence would be a family history of alcoholism. That tends to be the evidence for the genetic heritage, and if you got the gene, you got the behavior, that's the disease.

1:31:17 Adam I potted it down because I had too much noise going on in the background. But meth is insidious.

1:31:23 Drew You don't have to use meth every day to be addicted. So many of my amphetamine addicts are only using three or four times a week, but they just can't stop. They can't string together any sober time.

1:31:33 Adam Stop with the meth, that's just a bad one. It can't go anywhere but down with that drug. It is a horrible drug. All right, let's speak to Josh, he's 23. Josh?

1:31:47 Yeah, I'm here.

1:31:48 Adam All right, buddy. Sorry you're on hold for so long. Drew didn't want to talk to you.

1:31:53 I just want to say how much I do enjoy you guys. It's nice being entertained after a day of work.

1:32:01 Adam Thanks, buddy. You're 23, it says see snakes and bugs when you're about to go to bed.

1:32:09 Yeah, it's kind of a weird thing. I've had this for a couple years.

1:32:14 Caller It's like I'll wake up.

1:32:17 I'll still be visualizing something as though it's in a dream, but I'll be totally coherent like I am awake.

1:32:24 Adam What about that snake and bug thing? I get a fair amount of that stuff, too.

1:32:28 Drew In dreams?

1:32:30 Adam Just, you know, I have that hypervigilance thing. So if I see a spider or something, it's got to be dealt with. There's no way. I couldn't go to bed with a bug in the room. And I do have a minor preoccupation with that. Oftentimes, I have dreams where I'm bitten by a snake or a bug or something. I used to have the jaws locking on me, but that's back when I owed the IRS money. Remember that dream?

1:32:56 Drew Yes, we were depressed with IRS.

1:32:59 Adam I wouldn't let go if you tore your hand out, it'd do worse. But if you stayed there, you're going to die.

1:33:03 Drew Yeesh.

1:33:05 Adam Yeah. I have constant dreams of things locking on to me, pit bulls, sharks, alligators. And then I couldn't, the trauma was, the thing was locked on, and as long as you just stayed, if you started to wrestle, it would just tear. It's weird to just sort of sit there with this thing that was locked on you.

1:33:25 Drew So you're saying you get sort of night terrors when you wake up and you stay in a semi-dream state?

1:33:29 Yeah, and it's, I mean, I'll tell you this one, this one that, I mean, it scared my wife half to death, and I must have been watching something before I went to bed, but I woke up and I look over at her, and it looked like there was a bomb strapped to the wall. So I wake her up, I take her out of the room, and I'm sitting there trying to explain myself in the living room, and she's like, no, just come back to the bed, and I'm like, okay, I don't know what's wrong with me.

1:33:54 Adam All right, this is sleep disorder at this point.

1:33:57 Drew Yeah, or drugs and alcohol.

1:33:58 Adam Well, he's not doing drugs, he's calling from Salt Lake. Do you do drugs and alcohol, Josh?

1:34:03 Caller Not at all, not at all.

1:34:04 Adam All right, I know.

1:34:05 Drew So it's a sleep disorder. Yeah, sleep terror, basically, is what that is.

1:34:08 Adam Well, what do you do?

1:34:09 Drew You get that evaluated, sleep disturbance, there are treatments.

1:34:12 Adam Well, we gotta take a break, but let me just say this. All the imagery that's flowing in through ISDN lines and high-speed internet, cable with 1,000 channels, don't we got too much up in the Viewmaster before we go to bed now? Before it just be a picture of, what do you got in your head? Well, you got your imagination of a book you're reading and a candle flickering.

1:34:34 Drew Or maybe you got an Indian test pattern.

1:34:37 Adam Yeah, now you got a zillion. I got everyone in the Hilton family flying through this. All Donald Trump, everything. Al Qaeda, it's all blowing through there.

1:34:46 Drew Interesting.

1:34:47 Adam Take a break, we'll be back.

1:35:08 Caller This hour brought to you in part by Axe.

1:35:10 Caller Experience the Axe Effect.

1:35:35 Adam Well, that's the show, everyone. Puddle of mud in here tomorrow night. Thank you for listening and until next time, this is Adam Kroll with Dr. Drew saying Mahalo. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, August 11, 2004