Episode 1000635077483

0:57 Voiceover Online is meant for an adult audience.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. And tonight, a little segment I decided to call Future Talent Kiss Ass. This is where we put guys on that we think wouldn't do this show had they not promised to come back and do this show when we had them on the first time. Do you see what I'm saying?

1:45 Drew Yes, yes. So you're putting a bet down.

1:48 Adam I'm putting a bet down. And it's not on a long shot. Yeah.

1:52 Drew And the bet's gotta come in. Yeah. As the thing accrues.

1:55 Adam Yeah, now tonight we're talking about boxing, something that I really enjoy. And Bolo is our guest, Damian Bolo Wills. He's a heavyweight, nine and oh. Nine knockouts, by the way. Wow. Every fight, a knockout, Drew. That's nine for nine. And he's fighting this Friday at the Henry Fonda Theater. And I've been to all these. I've seen his fights. And they're fun, but you don't want to blink your eyes. Yeah, he's got good pop. He's a big guy, as you can see. Good hand speed. You don't see that too often. Yeah, but say hi, Bolo.

2:28 How's it going, everybody out there?

2:30 Adam Bolo is, his trainer is my trainer. Although his trainer, you know, trains him like he's going to do something. And me just talks to me about Bolo the whole time. But you know, it's the only thing where, like if you went in and talked to a therapist, you paid him a hundred bucks an hour and he talked your ear off, you'd be pissed. You'd be like, I didn't get a word in edgewise. If you did, if you went, if it's like, if you went into a masseuse and you were massaging the masseuse the whole time and paying him a hundred bucks an hour, you'd be pissed. But when a trainer does it, it's cool because you feel like you're going to vomit and collapse. So when they start talking, you can get a break. Hey champ, he's looking good. He's looking good. He's a big man with fast hands. He, you know, he's just been spawning them. Clitch goes on, how tall is he again? He's six five, six four, six five, 250 pounds, all muscle. When's his next fight? Glad you asked.

3:30 Drew You're spawning with this guy?

3:31 Yes. Yeah, we're pointing.

3:33 Adam Drew never gets tired of doing bad. He's pointing at a cardboard, cardboard cutout of Vitaly. No, flat, no, let's see. Which Clitch go is that?

3:44 That's Vitaly, I think that's life size too, that cardboard cutout.

3:47 Adam Vitaly Clitch go, who he was sparring with, he's also been sparring with Laman Brewster, who was in here, who's a WBO champ up in Tahoe, or Arrowhead, or wherever the hell he, Big Bear, you gotta go up there for altitude training, Drew.

4:01 Drew We got it.

4:02 Adam You gotta get that, it's the thin air. Makes your lungs tough.

4:05 Drew So de la Hoya does.

4:06 Adam Yeah, what I do to toughen up my lungs is I smoke. I don't need any altitude training. Just toughen them up. Bust a filter right off that cigarette and just smoke them camels two at a time. Toughen that lung up.

4:17 Drew Inhales will paint.

4:18 Adam Yeah, I'll huff some copier toner or something. Gotta toughen them. It's really the equivalent to you doing a sit up and a guy hitting you with a medicine ball in the stomach. You huffing that copier toner while you're smoking a cigarette. Toughen them lungs up. So, yeah, Bolo, yeah. Nine and O. So up and coming heavyweight basically is why we're having him on the show. And I think that Bolo could be the next heavyweight champ of the world.

4:42 Thank you, Adam.

4:42 Adam Yeah, well, I have a lot of confidence in you. Yeah.

4:45 You're the toughest actor I've seen around.

4:47 Adam Really? What do you have to say about the Ace man?

4:49 Because a lot of people don't know he's a softball and he's really fast. And if you've seen him and you didn't know he was Adam Carolla, you would think he was a fighter in the gym, actually. I've seen him spar with Lemon Bruce before.

4:59 Adam God bless you.

5:02 Drew He did good. It's funny when you see him on television, you think he couldn't be an actor.

5:08 No.

5:09 Adam Oh, how dare you, Drew?

5:11 He could be down on the rest of the actors.

5:12 Adam That's what I love about Bolo. He's keeping it real. So, Bolo's got a fight. Now, I'm going this Friday, and I've talked about this on the air before, which is Los Angeles is kind of missing a scene. You know what I mean? I mean, we're all about Nobu and these hoity-toity restaurants. That's a homos hanging out, drinking apple martinis. But we don't have a steak joint and a fight night. Do you know what I'm saying? We were talking about this last night. We don't have a little Italy in this town. I feel like if we got a little Italy, everything would get cleared up almost immediately. We'd start having Friday night fights and clubs. And it's one thing to go, everyone wants to go to these super fights in Vegas and sit 70 rows back and look at the Jumbotron. But I'm telling you, going to a club type fight, and this is at the Henry Fonda Theater, it's this Friday. And sitting up there and it's, you don't know anybody's on the stage except for Bolo. Everyone else is just a bunch of guys that are hanging drywall during the day or slinging hash, beating the crap out of each other for 60 bucks, but it's better that way. And people are drunk and people are screaming and there's chicks with huge asses holding up by ring signs and shaking their ass. One of the round girls was so drunk she fell over. Last time. Two times. Yeah. Yeah, she, you know, here's the problem. They wear those huge stripper wedgies and the ring has got a little foam rubber under the canvas and a couple of shots of Grand Marnier, the stripper wedgie and the canvas on the ring, all, it's a deadly combination. Yeah, plus you're holding your hands over your head and you're a little tipsy. Boom, she went down like Bolo hit her. Yeah, so even, it's such a good fight night that even the ring girls are going down. Everybody's falling down in that ring girl. Yeah, so do you plan on an early knockout or you want to stretch it out, get some work in?

7:08 Caller Every time I go in the ring, I never plan on having a knockout. I just go in there and try to work on my trainer, Terry Clagmire, and teach to me. I think that if I just apply that, then they have to go anyway.

7:19 Adam You know what I'd like you to do with Terry next time he's working a little too hard? No, I'd like you to go. How's that, Jim? I tell you what, Jim, he sucks, but he pays on time.

7:30 Drew He talks about you all the time.

7:31 What it really is, yeah.

7:33 Adam Yeah, that's what I want you to know. I want you to bug him about me and see if you can catch a little wind. Because if you can get a guy talking, he'll start talking for a minute and you can get your... You should try that in the ring on Friday. If you get tired Friday night in the ring, just say to the guy, like, hey, what's going on with Terry Claymon? See if you can get him talking about something.

7:50 Caller They all wanna knock me out.

7:52 Adam Well, yeah, they want to, but they can't do it. That's the thing.

7:55 Drew How tall are you?

7:56 Caller I'm 6'4.

7:57 Drew Yeah, he's big.

7:58 Adam Yeah, and let me tell you the thing about Bolo too. It's not that sort of pumped up steroid big. It's just big. It's all in there. You know, the thing about boxers is you want that sort of natural, you want the guy at his natural weight, not an inflated weight. There's a fluidity to it. You know, there's a hand speed that guys who've been working out at the gym too long to try to get that size don't have. It's a certain fluidity. I don't know what it is.

8:27 Caller Yeah, they lift weights. They can't even tie their shoe strings.

8:29 Adam Yeah, it's the same way. There's certain sports like tennis and stuff. It just doesn't seem to work.

8:34 Drew Right, the skill sports.

8:36 Adam Yeah, the skill sports. And boxing is, it's the sweet science. It's brutal and people get caught up with that. But man, it's all about rhythm and repetition and hand speed and all that good stuff.

8:47 Caller You'll see all that on, you know, Friday Night Fight Night, Hollywood Fight Night.

8:50 Adam Yeah, well, you'll see it when Bolo's in the ring. You're not gonna see it when the drywallers in.

8:54 Caller You're gonna see it for some of the other guys, you know.

8:55 Adam Listen, it's better. It's better, Drew, cause you're screaming. And you know what's funny, too? No respect. People take a wild swing and miss a guy. People are laughing and people are screaming. And there's some celebrities there, too, Drew. No, I wasn't gonna count me.

9:10 Drew Every time you go.

9:11 Adam I've missed one, I think. It was out of town. It's a good night. It's the Henry Fonda Theater. It's right in the middle of Hollywood.

9:18 Drew Is that one every Friday?

9:20 Adam No, it's doing it every other month or something like that.

9:23 Drew That's the site.

9:23 Adam Yeah, that's the site. That's the site now. The booze is flowing, lots of hot chicks. Fights, and by the way, guys dress up like it's some kind of players ball too when they go to the, white guys wearing bowler caps with striped suits and silk vests is crazy.

9:39 Caller That's the atmosphere of fights though. Yeah. Everybody dresses their best. The women come out looking as good as they possibly can.

9:45 Adam Celebrities come out. People get drunk and start pushing each other and stuff because they get hyped up.

9:50 Caller Celebrities like down dress actually.

9:53 Adam Yeah, because they don't want to be spotted. That's right, Denzel Washington was there in just his underpants. He didn't want to be seen. No, but they don't dress all flashy. Right, right. It's the guy who... Face block, yeah. Yeah, like me, Drew. All right, let me just give the information out if you're going to be in the LA area and then we'll move on with the show and I'll give it a little plug later on. You just go to, I'll tell you what you can do. You can go to www.ticketweb.com and get any information you need about it. www.ticketweb.com. Have some fun, see some fights, and don't bother me. I'm gonna be there, but I'm gonna be up front with the Waynes brothers, schmoozing.

10:34 Drew And what Adam says if you come up to me, he says, beat it.

10:36 Adam No, no, no, no, it's a, you come up, I had a girl come in.

10:39 Drew You might wanna fight you there.

10:40 Adam A 16-year-old girl come up to me at the Best Buy and say, what'd she say to me, Drew?

10:45 Drew Oh, she said. Are you as big an ass person as you are on TV?

10:48 Adam And I just said.

10:49 Drew You didn't even look up, you said, beat it.

10:51 Adam And she ran, crying to Drew.

10:53 Drew And you're awesome. You are, you are, Drew. And I said, beat it.

10:58 Adam Come on, Bolo, you know me, I'm a nice guy, right?

11:00 Caller You're the greatest guy, man. I've known you for a while. He's always funny in the gym, man.

11:05 Adam Yeah, yeah.

11:06 Drew He's funny, he's distracting, he's a traitor from the work.

11:08 Caller No, no, you know what the biggest thing is, is his boxing is just like, you know, it surprised me. You know, a lot of people, I don't sit down and watch. There's very few actors that I'll sit down and watch train. Like Denzel, I watch him train. But Adam, you know, I'll sit down and watch him train. And actually, I'll sit down and watch him train.

11:23 Adam Yeah.

11:23 Caller You know, he's making those pads in there to talk, you know.

11:26 Adam Yeah. Ouch, they're screaming.

11:29 Caller It's all fault.

11:31 Adam How's well his knee jointed. That's okay. What's his weight like? 265, atomic, 65, that's a big thing. Natural orthodoxy of Southpaw, you convert him. Is that written on parchment papers? Yeah, that's what I do. I make small talk. I'm going in tomorrow. So I come up the list of small talk before we get in there. It'd be nice.

11:58 Drew Use your gift of gab.

12:00 Adam Sydney?

12:02 Yeah.

12:03 Adam You're 20? Uh-huh. What's up, baby doll?

12:08 Caller I've been dating my friend for three years now. And it's always been a constant problem. And I finally got through to you guys and kind of want to get your opinion. He's the only guy I've ever been with. So I don't really know myself.

12:21 Drew What is the constant problem?

12:23 Caller Okay. He has a curvature in his penis. And I was thinking about it. I'm going to say it's about a 20 to 30 degree curve.

12:36 Drew And we're in the middle, the tip?

12:38 Caller Just the entire thing.

12:40 Drew Sometimes you can get a hockey stick. Oh, really? That's actually what you get from complications of circumcision.

12:46 Adam Oh, really?

12:47 Drew It folds right over that side.

12:48 Adam Wow. Oh, that's bad times.

12:51 Drew Yeah, this is more...

12:51 Adam Unless you're Canadian, then it's kind of cool to have a hockey stick in your pants.

12:56 Drew Well, they ask for it.

12:57 Adam Ladies, look at this.

12:58 Drew Your parents signed up for that.

12:59 Adam Yeah. Put the tape on the end of it, tape up the end, just like the hockey stick. All right, so where's the curve in the middle?

13:06 Caller It's just like, oh, thing just, I think he went to his doctor and one side grew faster than the other side, is what it seems like.

13:14 Drew Well, no, it's that one side gets a scar and it pulls over to that side. Now, it's not going down, though, it's going to the right or left, right?

13:22 Caller It's, yeah, it's going to his right. And it also, another thing about it, it kind of twists at the same time.

13:29 Adam Oh, man, it's like the ultimate roller coaster. So if he goes down too fast, you'll spin around and slide to the left. Oh, he's got to kill himself. That's the only advice, Drew. Is there advice ever, just kill yourself?

13:46 Drew I don't remember Dr. Alter can repair these kinds of things. How's the size of it?

13:49 Adam How's the size of it? Has he got anything to work with?

13:52 Drew Well, has he got anything to spare, is really the question.

13:54 Caller Wait, what do you mean?

13:55 Drew To operatively repair these kinds of things, basically they pull back the long side. They make the whole thing the length of the short side, see?

14:03 Caller Oh, yeah, he's big enough that they could, but he doesn't really want to go through with something like that. I don't, I don't.

14:10 Adam Well, does it bother you? Can you handle it?

14:12 No, that's what I was calling it.

14:13 Caller It always hurts. And I finally went to the gynecologist and found out that it's, I think personally, like no one's told me this, but my cervix, the lady couldn't find my cervix because they're pushed to the side where she's curved.

14:28 Adam He moved it?

14:30 Drew She's flopped over.

14:31 Adam He moved your parts?

14:32 Drew I don't think he moved it. No, no, I think you're flopped.

14:36 Adam Well, that's probably a coincidence.

14:38 Drew It's probably, women can flop to one side or the other. Yeah, and when you flop over, listen to me. And when he, he's probably straightening you out and that's what hurts. He's doing this with it. It's like a valve, it just keeps flopping back.

14:53 Adam Now, can you move other parts, like lungs and livers and stuff?

14:56 Drew Well, you can, but not with your penis, no.

14:59 Adam You gotta use like a butcher knife, right?

15:01 Drew Yeah, okay. What's that Sydney?

15:03 Caller How is it, is it that's not a coincidence that the side that he goes to, that's the side where my hair is.

15:08 Drew Well, I understand that's suspicious and it is suspicious, but I don't see, but I don't see why that would cause pain. In fact, that should sort of be, but that's the point, if the fact that.

15:21 Adam Hold on, listen to all you retards who call the show with a year of junior college on your belt. Stop arguing with the doctor, that's my job. He's a doctor, you're an idiot. You called to ask his advice.

15:30 Drew But the point is, you're being over to that side should accommodate his penis rather than hurt with it. And you're postulating that he drove it over that way. Well, then the pain should have stopped once he got you in position. And the fact is, it kind of straightens you out and that's uncomfortable.

15:42 Adam There's nothing we, nothing anyone can do about this.

15:45 Drew Well, he can take vitamin E, 800 units of vitamin E. If this is a Peyroni's type syndrome, sometimes that does help straighten things out a little bit. Other than that though, it's surgery and pain in the partner is one of the more common reasons that guys go have that.

15:55 Adam Let's talk a little more about boxing for a second. Bolo and I were talking about heavyweight by the way, 9-0, 9 knockouts, fighting this Friday.

16:03 Drew Have you ever sparred with that?

16:04 Caller Probably will fight 9-0. I haven't had the pleasure.

16:05 Drew You gotta do that.

16:06 Adam No, he's too big.

16:07 Drew He needs a little straightening out.

16:09 Caller Like I said, he isn't there with Lamon Bruce.

16:10 Drew Speaking of straightening out, someone's cervix.

16:13 Adam He's straightening out my cervix. Do I have a cervix?

16:16 Caller What?

16:17 Drew We'll find out. He'll straighten it out.

16:19 Adam My cervix on Bolo's glove!

16:22 Terrible.

16:24 Adam Bolo's beating the crap out of me. I'm asking him, what do you think of that combo? He just hit me with that. Let me tell you, Bolo and I were, to Bolo's too big for me. He's a big man.

16:35 Drew You told me you could take on anybody.

16:36 Adam I was just shut up. I never said that. I told you not to say anything in front of Bolo. Bolo and I were talking about the Tyson fight before we got on the air tonight. Tyson was in an excellent fight on a pay-per-view last Friday. And you know what is weird? Everybody feels bad for Tyson. Which is funny because the guy was considered an animal at a certain stage in and out of the ring, by the way. Here's a guy who's done some time for rape and arguably has probably strangled a woman or two. And when he was sitting there sort of in a heap trying to find his way, every guy who was in the room with me was like, oh, I wanna give him a hug.

17:17 Drew The beast of the beast of.

17:18 Adam Yeah, everyone felt.

17:19 Drew When the tiger gets taken out, we're like, oh, that was, what a way.

17:22 Adam It's really weird. It's really a strange human emotion because Tyson was not Rocky Marciano. There's some guys that were beloved champs. Tyson was sort of despised. I mean, everyone respected his ability, no doubt about it, but people were dying for somebody to take Tyson's head off when he was as dominant as he was. And when Tyson got in the ring with Holyfield, everybody wanted to see Holyfield shut this guy up. And even with Lennox Lewis, to a certain degree. But to see him lying there in a heap, sort of trying to find the rope clearly out of it.

18:00 Drew Men can't tolerate that. We don't like it.

18:03 Adam There was 10 guys almost tearing up. A lot of them had money on them, too, was the problem.

18:08 Caller I was by the bed on them, too, but I'm glad I didn't.

18:11 Drew What's that, Anderson?

18:12 I had Williams in the fourth, and I was still rooting for him. I was really sad.

18:15 Adam Oh, really?

18:15 And I had a bunch of money to win.

18:16 Adam Wow, did you get in a pool or something?

18:18 Yeah, I got in a pool, we dragged from the hat, and I got the fourth.

18:21 Drew Williams, you won?

18:23 Caller But I was sad, I was really, I was rooting for him.

18:26 Adam Yeah, he wanted Tyson to win.

18:27 Drew But it's so amazing, he won. That's a crazy way to win.

18:30 Adam I know, Williams was a 10 to 1 underdog.

18:32 Caller Yeah, a 9 to 1.

18:33 Adam The thing that's funny, and here's what I was, I was watching Tyson, and Bolo, here's some advice. You're a young man, what are you, 23, 24?

18:39 Caller 24, I'm 24.

18:41 Adam All right, I'm gonna work that out. What's Bolo, 24, what's it about, 6'5, Tuesday Night, how's that knee? So, Stan Zell coming Friday, I guess the next Stan Zell. We were playing baseball catch. What's Stan Zell going, about 6'1? All right, so here's the thing, I was looking at Tyson, I was realizing, bad move, when the black dude gets older, starts in with that penciled-in, Ike Turner mustache.

19:09 Drew It's not Ike Turner, it's Michael Jackson's dad's mustache. Oh, yeah, that's where our head's going now, right?

19:16 Adam Yeah, Joe Jackson, yeah, Ike Turner, Joe Jackson, that little penciled-in, that's what happens to the brothers. I don't know what, the white guy, we get toupees, maybe put a little Just For Men in our beard or something, we screw ourselves up.

19:30 Drew White guys got 40 ways to screw themselves up.

19:32 Adam The blonde guys will dye their hair kind of red when it's turning gray and that kind of thing. But the black man does that weird little penciled-in mustache. Yeah, it's Joe Jackson. It makes you look old and it makes you look creepy at the same time. Makes you look like I'm either gonna die or feel up a nine-year-old. I'm not sure what yet, but I got this penciled-in mustache, so look out. I'm just saying, Bolo, don't ever get that mustache. People think you're old when they see that little pencil. People already think I'm old. Well, then start it now. That's what you should do. This should be your strategy. You come into the ring with that pencil-thin mustache. Oh, people freak out. I'm gonna kick his ass. And then pow, you crack him one.

20:17 Caller I don't think my girl's gonna go for the pencil.

20:18 Adam She's not gonna go for the pencil stash? That's the one thing. I was looking at Tyson when he was, I was looking, his physique is amazing. He doesn't look that old. But when you saw that pencil stash on him, you thought, oh, now he's gonna molest somebody. It's gonna be trouble. It's gonna be trouble.

20:34 All right.

20:34 Adam Let's talk to Andrew, who's 17. Andrew? Yeah, hi. 17?

20:41 Yep.

20:41 Adam What's up, buddy?

20:43 My problem is that I have unusually large nipples.

20:46 Adam Yeah. That's not funny.

20:49 Drew It's good times.

20:50 It's not.

20:51 Adam Now they stick out?

20:53 Yeah, they're kind of like a Hershey's kiss, if you meant, it's like that kind of shape.

20:59 Adam Oh, puffy.

21:00 Drew Bad times.

21:01 Adam Yeah, that's that lump.

21:02 Drew Yeah, that's a puberty thing. That's a puberty thing, but some guys get stuck with that permanently.

21:07 Adam Yeah, chicks dig that.

21:08 Drew Oh man, do they. And there are many different plastic procedures for that. Most of them, I think, begin with liposuction. Oh, really? They kind of suck out the lip of the fat there, but sometimes that doesn't take care of it because there's glandular tissue there, so they have to actually take out the gland material. So it is something that can be repaired. You might want to wait a couple more years before you do because sometimes it will go away by itself. Keep your weight way down.

21:35 It's not beneath me, but not very often. All right, not often.

21:38 Caller Maybe you should do some push-ups or something like let the rest of his chest catch up with his nipples.

21:42 Drew Well, then you just got that thing on top of the chest muscle.

21:47 Adam Yeah, it's like the cherry on top of the sundae.

21:49 Drew Like the heresies kiss sitting on the ledge there. All right, keep your weight down, keep it down.

21:54 Adam No, but here's the thing.

21:55 Caller Well, I'm kind of a skinny guy too, so it's kind of weird, you know, I just think of myself as that guy, you know?

21:59 Drew Yeah, yeah.

22:00 Caller I'm like, here's, here's.

22:01 Adam Yeah, well, first off, you better hope you never spend the night in prison, because there's a lot of guys, you know, that'll do.

22:07 Drew They're into that?

22:08 Adam Good enough. Good enough. It'd be my attitude if I was in prison. Let's find me some puffy nipples. I'll grow my little pencil mustache. That'll be it.

22:18 Drew Oh my God, are you in Boston?

22:20 Caller Yeah, yeah, I'm in Massachusetts.

22:22 Drew There's tons of opportunities to get the right repair.

22:24 Adam I bet you go to college. You go to one of them colleges, right?

22:26 Drew Yeah. There's a great medical school. Yeah. Where you going to school?

22:31 Caller I'm not sure, I'm looking at like, I don't know, Vassar.

22:34 Adam All right. No, listen. Listen, here's the thing. Here's the reality.

22:37 Drew William, is that what you said?

22:39 Adam What? That's a chick school, right?

22:40 Drew No, no, William's a good school.

22:41 Adam No?

22:42 Drew What would he go to college for? That's what Adam asks all the time.

22:46 Adam No, no, yeah. No, he's gonna go to college to get an education.

22:50 Drew And he's gonna go to a university.

22:51 Adam And he's gonna go to a university to see about getting his nipple reduction.

22:55 Caller I thought you were suggesting like he'd go on those Girls Gone Wild videos or something.

23:00 Adam You could also make a few bucks, yeah. Just pull that shirt over your head and then go, I hope my dad doesn't see what I'm doing.

23:08 Drew Dad, I'm sorry. Wait till he throws the beads at you?

23:10 Caller Yeah.

23:11 Adam Get some beads, yeah. Go down to New Orleans for, yeah, get some beads. All right, all right, Andrew?

23:17 Caller Yeah.

23:18 Adam You're gonna have to get a surgery, though.

23:19 Drew Well, probably. You might wait a little while, but yeah.

23:22 Adam All right, but let's just talk about genetics over here for a second. He's, you know, Bolo's over here, he's 6'5. Andrew's over here, he's got the puffy nipples, you need glasses. I got one of my balls hangs down lower than the other.

23:36 Drew And the other one hangs up still very low.

23:39 Adam One's three feet, the other four feet. Here's the thing. That's how God made us, right? And I...

23:45 Drew Now you can monkey around with it these days.

23:47 Adam Oh yeah, but I'm not gonna take any multi-vitamin and do some pushups and fix myself.

23:51 Drew You need a scrotal lift.

23:52 Adam I need more. I need a forcal lift.

23:56 Drew Yes, yes.

23:57 Adam To lift the scrotum up. The point is, is he wants to fix those puffy nipples, he's probably gonna have to go under the night.

24:03 Drew Yeah, probably have to do something kind of drastic. Again, the genetics are such that sometimes it is only during puberty that it becomes noticeable. Kind of settles down after that. But he's 17, wrapping that up. Usually it's gone by 15, 16.

24:17 Caller I think you should do push-ups.

24:19 Adam I was just thinking. I can't help stop thinking about Michael Jackson's dad, Joe Jackson, and that, like, this guy's gotta get, he's gotta get like a publicist or something like, listen, buddy, you can't pluck your eyebrows so it looks like you're surprised all the time. Lose the penciled mustache and the weird earring. You're a 70-year-old dude, people are accusing you of goosing your son when he was five. How about you put on, like, a nice Bill Cosby-type sweater and grow your hair out a little bit and let the eyebrows run a little wild? You know what I mean? Yeah, you're looking like what people are thinking you are.

25:00 Drew I really think, I really believe that how people deal with their hair has an emotional basis to it, whether you pluck it till it's, you know, pluck your eyelashes out or be crazy.

25:09 Adam Look how sane I am with these huge brows.

25:11 Drew I know you got caterpillars sitting there. And you go crazy patterns with your eyebrows or whether you're doing things with your beard or the mustache or what you do with your hair. I think it all has sort of-

25:19 Adam What about Bola's got the corn rows?

25:21 Drew I got the braids going on.

25:27 Adam All right, Damian Bolo Wills is here tonight. It's gonna be at the Henry Fonda Theater this Friday. I'll be there too, getting drunk. Always in the house. Always in the house. Wedge between one of the Waynes. Always get a little confused because 14 of them show up at the fight. They're like, hey, Marley gave a love by name. Oh, it's the sister. Oh, that was embarrassing. Well, they're all rangy. You know, they're all tall, muscular. Muscular, they can box. They can tell a joke. Oh yeah. I'm gonna be there. Damian's gonna be there knocking a guy out about 10 o'clock.

26:04 Drew Their father does not have a thin mustache.

26:07 Adam No, no, I don't think he does. Drew can't be there, cause whoopie, my wife won't let me out of the house. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

26:16 Caller 1-800-Call-Love-Line.

26:17 Caller Love, 1-9-1.

26:35 Adam Hey everybody, it's Love Line. I'm Adam Nets, Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Ron Livingston is in here tomorrow night, a very familiar-faced actor. You've known from a hundred movies. You know if you see him. Yeah. Except you're not gonna see him. Maybe that's it. Office Space. What other movies have you been in, Anderson? Think of anything? Office Space. You love Office Space.

27:03 Drew He's been a ton of them, though.

27:04 Adam Yeah. Tonight, Damian Bolo Wills is here tonight. Damian is a heavyweight. He is nine and oh with nine knockouts. Damian is a friend of mine. His trainer is a friend of mine. And I'm putting him on tonight because Damian's fighting on this Friday at the Henry Fonda Theater. And that is in the middle of Hollywood. And I'm gonna be there. And it is, it's a good time. And I'm glad it's coming back to the Los Angeles area. And it's nice. It's a scene.

27:37 Drew How come it's not at the Olympic?

27:39 Adam I don't know why it's not at the Olympic. Actually, it's probably not at the Olympic because the Olympic is probably too big a venue. I mean, no offense, but the Olympic probably holds 10, 12,000 people.

27:51 Drew Oh, really? I never knew it was that big.

27:52 Adam It's pretty good size. Yeah, I mean, I'd like to look into it. It's better because there's 500 people here, maybe 800 tops, but it's intimate. It's a club.

28:03 Drew Got it.

28:03 Adam It's like the difference between seeing a band at an amphitheater and seeing them at the club.

28:08 Caller Right.

28:08 Adam You know what I'm saying?

28:09 Caller We train in Hollywood, so we like to keep everything in Hollywood.

28:11 Drew That's what I was thinking. It's how cool it is in the Hollywood world.

28:13 Caller Yeah, we keep it. It's right there on Hollywood and Gower, so it's like right in the neighborhood. And here we find a theater. You can get tickets at ticketweb.com or you call 323-845-1425.

28:23 Adam And it's a scene. There's celebrities there. There's drunk chicks there. Everyone puts on their baths. It's nice for me because it's near my house because, you know, I tilt a few. You know, I get a little drunk. I bet with the guy next to me. It's a good time. And then Bolo closes the show, comes in, your knocks this guy out in a couple of seconds, and then we get to go home.

28:45 Caller Then we go to the after party.

28:46 Adam Then we go to the after party. That's it.

28:48 Drew That's when Adam takes on Captain Morgan.

28:51 Adam That's when I start boxing my demons. All right, let's get to the phones and speak to Chris, who's 25. Chris?

29:04 Go ahead.

29:05 Adam What's happening, Chris?

29:05 Drew Yes, go ahead.

29:06 Oh, I'm sorry.

29:07 All right.

29:09 My girlfriend, we're together, and she wants me to go down on her, give her oral sex, but I have like a kind of a crack in the side of my mouth.

29:21 Drew Well, is it crack with a sore forming around it or just the crack?

29:25 Adam Well, he put it there with the playing card.

29:27 Drew I see the crack.

29:28 Adam She smells. Yeah, he don't want to go down there. Just a paper cut. Yeah, smart.

29:33 Drew The crack is called chelitis, and that's not necessarily a cold sore.

29:37 Adam What is it?

29:37 Drew It's just, it's actually usually medication or something, or something that dries you out. Shapping, yes, that kind of thing. Yeast in the mouth can cause that, but it can sometimes be the beginning of a cold sore, though you have to watch out.

29:49 Well, I kind of showed my concern about it, and her kind of theory or plan is, is that if I do it just with the tip of my tongue and not really get on it like I'm, you know, get on an ice cream or something.

30:01 Adam Yeah, all right, so are you down with that? You okay with that?

30:04 I mean, I guess it'll work, but yeah.

30:06 Drew No, no, that will not work, that will not work. It'll work, it'll work, this is Bogus Call.

30:09 Adam I know, it'll work for me, though. I mean, if I was on the, you know what I'm saying.

30:13 Drew No, it would not work. If you're having viral production, it will get all over your tongue.

30:19 Adam You know.

30:19 Drew Shall we tell it to Bogus Call? It's so easy.

30:21 Adam I know, he's full of crap.

30:23 Drew Other people can't tell that.

30:24 Adam Everybody can tell, Drew, but what do we care? We gotta kill two hours and get the hell out of here.

30:28 Drew How do you know it's a Bogus Call? It's like, it screams Bogus.

30:31 Adam I know, but people don't really, people listen to the show or stone and not really listening.

30:35 Drew That's fine.

30:36 Adam All right. I, you know, I'm just, yeah. I'm just, I'm just saying, yeah. Yeah, no, no. I mean, he wasn't faking an injury, was he? No, Bogus. Yeah. Yeah.

30:51 Drew Yeah.

30:52 Adam All right. Yeah. I'm talking to, talk to Danielle. Daniel. Oh, I mean, Daniel. Sorry, buddy. Yeah, spelled differently. You're 15. What's up?

31:07 Caller I wanted to talk to Drew about becoming an addiction medicine specialist.

31:13 Drew When you're 15? You're 15?

31:15 Caller Yeah. I mean, I guess a little bit earlier than that.

31:17 Drew You got a couple, you got a couple short-term goals to focus on. Get into medical school.

31:22 Adam You got to get into medical school, buddy.

31:23 Drew You got to go to the best college you can.

31:25 Adam Yeah, get through high school.

31:26 Drew Get the best college you can, get the best medical school you can, then do a residency in either medicine, pediatrics, psychiatry, family practice, or anesthesiology, and then you can do a fellowship in addiction medicine.

31:40 Adam What was yours then?

31:41 Caller This is at medical school or this is after?

31:44 Drew Yeah, it's about five to six years after medical school.

31:47 After medical school, okay.

31:48 Drew Yeah, so you're looking at about 12 years from where you are.

31:50 Adam Daniel.

31:51 Caller Okay, so where did you do this?

31:52 Adam Just listen to me.

31:55 Drew Hey, I went to Amherst College and University of California, then University of California Hospitals for my residency. And then on my day, I started working in addiction medicine like 15 years ago, and so I got what they call grandfathered in, so I was already practicing it. Didn't have to take a fellowship because the field developed while I was practicing.

32:12 Adam How many years are we talking about from the time you graduate high school?

32:16 Drew Me?

32:17 Adam No, just for Daniel, today.

32:20 Drew 13 to 14.

32:21 Adam 13 to 14 years. And listen, Daniel, if everything goes according to plan, you get straight A's and all goes right, you could be sitting next to a guy with buck teeth and a Brillo head in barely a high school, barely a high school education who makes more money than you and yells at you, who's verbally abusive and yells at you to get us coffee.

32:40 Drew It's good times.

32:41 Adam That's if everything goes according to plan.

32:43 Caller I think it sounds more appealing than that.

32:45 Adam All right, buddy boy. Well, you get them grades up.

32:48 Drew Good luck.

32:49 Adam Get out of high school. That's right. You gotta graduate. You gotta crack them books. Put down the weed, pick up the textbook and the Bible.

32:56 Drew The main thing is get focused on the medical school.

32:58 Caller I'm Jewish. I can do this.

32:59 Adam Oh, then you're in.

33:01 Drew You're in.

33:02 Adam Now you better be in. Your parents will kill themselves. Let me tell you something. Now the Jews, they set the bar too high, the parents. You know what I mean? Like for me, my parents just figured, look.

33:12 Drew There was no bar.

33:13 Adam There was no bar, the bar was on the corner. They figured I should be watching the TV set up in the corner. Yeah, yeah, I mean, my parents were, see, let me tell you something. I'll tell you the reality.

33:23 Drew I'll tell you what goes on here.

33:25 Adam I'll tell you what happens. I'm, you know, my trainer, Terry Clavon, he's Bolo's trainer. I keep trying to tell him that my mom was food stamps and welfare. He just thinks I'm slumming it because I'm a white guy, you know what I mean? He doesn't believe that I was underneath the buildings in downtown LA digging with a coffee can, digging footings with a coffee can.

33:46 Drew He just thinks it's some sort of fantasy.

33:47 Adam No, he thinks, first off, everyone thinks I'm Jewish. And then they all think I went to college and then they figure my dad was a dentist. I mean, please, tell Bolo what a loser the Corollas are.

33:57 Drew Adam is a loser.

33:59 Adam No, no, not me, you idiot.

34:01 Drew He comes from a long line of incredible losers. Food stamps, mom, food stamps.

34:08 Adam Welfare and food stamps.

34:10 Drew I lived in his, squatted in his grandmother's house his whole life.

34:13 Adam Oh, well, that's my mom's house.

34:15 Drew Well, your mom's squatting in your grandmother's house.

34:16 Adam Yeah, that's loser.

34:17 Drew Loser. Right. She had trouble parenting, became overwhelmed by the idea of raising the likes of Mr. Corolla and would lock herself in the room and scream freak out, scream freak out and smoke pot. And his dad left the scene when he was eight and married a ball busting woman who banished Adam to the garage, which they turned into a room with a cement floor, no running water or a bathroom, and had him crap into a popcorn tin.

34:44 Adam Decorative popcorn tin.

34:46 Drew Decorative mind you, with a lid.

34:47 Adam That was a toilet.

34:48 Drew As a way of managing his excrement.

34:49 Adam Actually, that was my idea.

34:51 Drew I understand, you had to get by. It was like a Civil War prison or something.

34:54 Adam Kicked me out of the house at 18 and a half.

34:56 Drew And then he took, he launched immediately into an illustrious career of carpet cleaning and then figured he needed me to move off that ladder and went on to digging ditches with coffee cans.

35:04 Adam I'm getting depressed now.

35:06 Drew And then knocking out asbestos and dry water. That was when you're really moving along.

35:10 Caller He's one of the boxing actor contenders out there.

35:12 Adam Oh, and now look at me.

35:14 Drew But all that aggression from all that pain has got to come out through the boxing.

35:17 Adam Literally, and literally a millionaire now.

35:19 Drew Literally a millionaire and taking it out on all.

35:21 Caller I think I've seen him hit Terry a few times.

35:25 Drew Terry's not listening, he's not even here.

35:27 Caller He's probably on the telephone somewhere.

35:28 Drew Oh, for God's sakes.

35:30 Caller He told me to tell you guys, powerfulpound.com. You could also get your tickets there.

35:34 Adam That's right. Yeah, go to that fight Friday night.

35:37 Drew I expected to move him to tears with that story. What is going on? I'm so mad.

35:41 Caller He's always on the telephone. That's what he is.

35:42 Adam He's always on the phone. He's on the phone. It's your life story.

35:44 Caller He just told you.

35:46 Adam He holds the punch glove with one hand. He talks on the cell. Talks to Denzel Washington on the other, with the cell phone. And while I ask him how much Bolo's weight's doing. Boxing's the only sport. It's really, it's almost gay. You never heard guys talk about weight so much. How's his weight doing, how's Bolo's weight? He's 262.

36:06 Caller How's Bolo's knees?

36:07 Adam How's his knee? How's his figure doing? His love handles doing good? How's that six pack? How's his weight? How's his weight? A lot of guys, you never heard more obsession with weight. Guys, you know what's crazy too, Drew? They've been doing this thing in boxing now, where they weigh the guys in, they weigh them in the day before the fight, right? I mean, it's about 24 hours before they get in the ring. And they've been doing the weigh-in time and the actual fight weight. Now, they finally started weighing them before they got in the ring. Guys that are making weight at 148 are coming into the ring 163, 165. Crazy, crazy leaps. I know, it's 24 hours. It's not a week, it's not three days. It's guys that are trying to make weights at like 154, 148, coming in 163, 165.

37:00 Caller That's because those guys are pressured to come in at like 145 or something like that and they just starved themselves before the fight and don't drink any fluids.

37:07 Adam It's all fluid.

37:08 Caller Don't eat.

37:08 Drew They take a bunch of diuretics too.

37:12 Adam I don't know, but I can tell you, I mean they're doing everything but trying to, you know, take their tattoos off of their eraser. I mean, these guys are shaving their eyebrows to try to lose an ounce. And they literally put on like 14 pounds in a course of 24 hours.

37:29 Drew There's only one way to do that, that's fluid.

37:31 Adam Yeah, that's fluid. This is not a 210 pound guy. It's a 150 pound guy putting on, you know, 10% of his body weight.

37:38 Caller And then after the weigh-in, you go and eat. You know, they finally get to eat after starving themselves for about three days, not eating anything for like three days, drinking as little water as possible. That's the pressure they put on themselves for fighting that water weight and middle weight.

37:51 Adam That's why Bolo just goes heavyweight.

37:53 Caller There's no weight limit there.

37:55 Adam You going to 255, I like the guys when he fought last fight, it was 237, this time he's 309. But he says he's in great shape, I always love that.

38:06 Caller I always have to make weight, or I'm gonna have to hear Terry, you know.

38:09 Adam Yeah, you would like to be high 240s, low 250s?

38:13 Caller Right now I weigh 245.

38:15 Adam Oh, that's good, that's light for you, right?

38:17 Caller Yeah, that's real light for me.

38:18 Adam All right, see, that's his Tinkerbell at 245, Drew. All right, we're gonna take ourselves a little break. Bolo in here tonight, future heavyweight champ of the world. And just don't, here's what I'm, here's all I want to say, Bolo. You're gonna start winning some fights. You're gonna, he's nine and oh now with nine knockouts. You're gonna be 28 no, 29 knockouts. Oh yes, that's what I think. Here's what you're gonna do, you're gonna start, you're gonna get a posse. You're gonna get 75 inch rims for your Escalade. You're gonna lose everybody. You're gonna, Terry Claiborne, down the road, firing everybody, managers, girlfriends, everybody's gone, parents not talking to anybody anymore. Out with the old, in with the new. But you remember who put you on this show, right?

39:05 Caller Well, so the good thing about Terry is I've been knowing Terry since I was like three years old, so.

39:08 Adam I know, but he's gone, as soon as you're 10 and 0, he's gone. You gotta get up with a dude, like big pinky ring and that pencil mustache. But here's the thing, I don't care about him. You come back on this show. That's what I'm saying, cause that's the deal. We're laying the groundwork. Yes, Drew?

39:24 Drew Yes, Adam.

39:24 Adam Now, Drew won't be here.

39:25 Drew You'll never see him again.

39:26 Adam We'll have gotten rid of him by then.

39:27 Caller I'll take his place.

39:28 Adam That kid who called in is gonna take his place.

39:30 Caller Dr. Bolo.

39:31 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this. Call Loveline. Hey buddy, it's Adam. Here to talk about Axe Deodorant Body Spray.

39:46 Drew Yes, sir.

39:47 Adam You spray that on, you give stink the axe.

40:04 Caller Hello there, buddy, it's Loveline and Adam.

40:06 Adam That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. Ron Livingston is in here tomorrow night. Damian Bolo Wills in here tonight. Heavyweight Prospect, 9-0, nine knockouts, fighting this Friday. Henry Fonda Theater, Hollywood, I'm gonna be there. And there will be 50 celebrities who you recognize before me there too. And I will be the drunkest, and I will be cheering on Bolo. And if you want to check it out in real life, and I'll tell you, everybody, by the way, should go to a fight at some point in their life, and not a big Vegas casino fight. I'm talking, you don't want to squeeze in between Sly Estolone and Donald Trump, you know what I mean? Where you're sitting there between the every man, where I'm wedging between the Waynes brothers, you know what I mean? Keeping it real. In Hollywood. In Hollywood, club style thing. People, moms getting pissed and jumping in there, and whacking them with a slipper. You know what I mean? That kind of stuff. Ring girls, drunk, falling over. Really getting knocked out. Really getting knocked down. Novelty knocked down. People yelling. And when a guy swings and miss, people laughing. Ridiculing. Yeah, nothing better. And by the way, too, small venues, the fighters looking out into the crowd saying, hey, that's that dude from White Chicks. Waving at them.

41:29 Caller That's when they get knocked out, waving at them.

41:31 Adam That's during the fight. Saying hi and stuff. It's crazy. It's a good time. Guys going out in the ring, wearing a holiday in bathrobe and stuff. The marker Sharpie written a name on it, misspelled on the back. Wearing slippers. Keeping it real.

41:45 Drew Our gang.

41:45 Adam Yeah, it's good times. So anyway, you want to check this out. You just go to www.ticketweb.com or call 323-845-1425 this Friday. I'll be there. Drew will not. So that's how you know what's good.

42:02 Caller Drew, you got to come, man.

42:04 Adam His old lady won't let him.

42:05 Caller You got to bring her. You got to have a great time. Send somebody to get knocked out, man.

42:09 Adam Yeah, Drew.

42:10 Caller Send somebody to get their ass kicked.

42:11 Adam Why should Drew pay to watch you knock a guy out when he can just watch himself get his ass kicked by his old lady every night when he comes home? He want to see someone get his ass kicked, he look in the mirror.

42:20 Caller Well, you know, that might not happen that night.

42:26 Adam All right, let's go. Let's break it down, Drew. What do you say? Get a hand in. Yeah, let's help some kids. Let's heal some babies. What do you say? Let's break it down now. Yeah. All right, here we go. Jumping on the phone. Talking to Tiffany who's 15. Tiffany? What's happening, baby doll?

42:44 Nothing much. Me and my boyfriend, we've been going out for seven months now. And I found out through a friend that he's been cheating on me.

42:55 Drew What does that mean, cheating at 15?

42:58 Adam Well, she's calling from Oakland, so it means anal sex, yeah.

43:05 But anyway, yeah.

43:07 Adam No, what does it mean? No, it's not saying yeah to that.

43:09 Drew No, what does it mean?

43:10 Adam He's having sex, right?

43:11 Yeah.

43:12 Drew At 15?

43:13 Adam Well, he's 33.

43:15 Drew Oh, how old is he?

43:17 He's 19.

43:18 Drew Oh, you don't know. He's going to jail. Get rid of this guy anyway.

43:21 Adam That's too old for you, Tiffany.

43:23 Drew No good. Giant difference. When you're 19 and you think about your male peers dating 15-year-olds, you will vomit.

43:29 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll hate them.

43:32 Drew The guy, the 19-year-old you look at, you'll think this is the weirdest, despicable guy.

43:37 Adam Yeah, this is ninth, tenth grade and one year of high school if he graduated. And he's cheated on you, Tiffany, so what's up?

43:45 Caller What, older woman problem?

43:46 Adam That's right.

43:48 Drew Well, probably, hopefully, you've not had sex with him, right?

43:51 Adam No.

43:52 Drew Right. That's good job.

43:54 Adam Still a virgin? All right. All right, well keep that virginity. All right, I want you to save it until you're 75. And then I'm taking it.

44:05 Drew Maybe you had a line, you had a book, a schedule of when you were gonna line up at 18, remember?

44:11 Adam Oh, that was my plan. Yeah. What a plan that was. Yeah, you're 15. Yeah, I got a whole plan. I should have started signing. My whole plan was to start signing up chicks, you know? So I'd take my calendar and go, well, let's see, when's your birthday? When is your birthday, Tiffany?

44:25 Caller February 20th.

44:27 Adam February 20th. I got an opening in my book. February 20th.

44:30 Drew 2007.

44:31 Adam 2007. There'll be a knock on the door one minute after midnight. Hello? I'll be wearing Bolo's bathrobe. You'll recognize me. I have the penciled in mustache. And I'll, and you know, it takes my robe off. I have a guy like James Brown takes his cape off. Right. And I'm wearing nothing but black socks. I take a robe off. You'd be my robe man. There you go. And I'm also gonna need, I'm gonna need you as sort of my, my muscle. You just stand by the door. Arms folded. Boyfriends, dads, police officers, uncles, anybody. Anybody looks like they could pose a threat to me. All right, Tiffany. So you're done with this guy? Yeah. Good, good. Save that virginity. Yeah. I know. I know there's nothing more attractive than a 19-year-old guy cheating when you're 15. So tantalizing, so tempting.

45:24 Drew Please.

45:24 Adam Oh, if I could only make him love me. Oh, I'll win him back. I'll show him I love him.

45:30 Drew Well, everyone, I'll be the queen bee if I've got a 19-year-old male attached to me.

45:33 Adam Right, right. Don't do it. Lucy? You're 16? What's up?

45:42 Caller I think I have a mental block problem and I can't like self satisfy myself.

45:50 Adam Really? I got a mental problem, but it's the opposite.

45:53 Drew You can't stop.

45:54 Adam I cannot stop. I did one during the break last night. Yeah, oh yeah. Into the coffee. Are you drinking coffee? Oh, I did that for the guys at Arrow. I didn't know.

46:05 Drew No, it's been refreshed.

46:06 Adam I told you not, you're drinking on what?

46:08 Drew It's old coffee.

46:08 Adam Old coffee?

46:09 Caller Yeah, it's on the coffee.

46:10 Adam Oh, smart, yeah. Okay, good, good.

46:12 Caller Terry's drinking a coffee.

46:14 Adam Oh no, oh Terry, I am sorry, my brother. That will not happen again.

46:20 Drew All right. We gotta take a break.

46:21 Adam We do?

46:21 Drew Yeah.

46:22 Adam All right, well Lucy.

46:23 Drew No, we'll talk to her. Interesting question.

46:25 Adam She's calling from Wisconsin, she's 16, she cannot pleasure herself.

46:29 Drew We'll find out what that means and what the block's from. It's an interesting topic, really.

46:35 Adam Bolo here tonight, up and coming, heavyweight fighting this Friday. I'm gonna be there, Henry, find a theater. I'm just gonna keep him for the first hour, but I like Bolo, you know why? Because he laughs at my jokes. He says I'm a good boss.

46:48 Drew And he laughs at your jokes.

46:49 Adam And he laughs at my jokes. So I'll tell you what, we'll hang out one more long break with Bolo and then he's gonna get up early and do a little road work. Got a big fight coming up this Friday. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

47:02 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

47:04 Caller Looking to hook up?

47:05 Call the Dateline.

47:06 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:07 Call the Dateline.

47:08 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:10 Call the Dateline.

47:11 Caller 1-877-889-DATE. You know what I'm saying, I'm Dan?

47:44 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LV-191. What's the matter, Drew?

47:49 Drew I was gonna write a note to myself to look back on the web for my ticket, where today, apparently, I think, my trial by declaration occurred.

47:56 Adam Drew's fighting the man. He got a ticket, and he's fighting it.

47:58 Drew Horrible, ridiculous entrapment.

48:00 Adam Yeah.

48:02 Drew It said something about court date, August 3rd, when I look it up on the web, and I don't know if nobody notified me to be in court. I'm assuming that means my declaration comes up today, August 3rd. And now I go to look it up, see what the status is, and sorry, temporary website's down. Oh. Plan maintenance.

48:18 Adam I'm a warrant now. At midnight, you will be-

48:20 Drew You're at some point, you're gonna be a warrant out for him.

48:22 Adam You will become a fugitive at midnight. I have been arrested on warrants before. I was pulled off of my motorcycle and hauled in and fired from my job.

48:32 Drew I gotta call him.

48:33 Adam If the cop likes you, he'll let you ride in the front seat, but he still cuffs you. It's kinda nice having a guy put a seatbelt on you, though. You never think about it. You know, they cuff you and they put you in the seat and the guy's gotta reach around and buckle you up. It's like you're five again.

48:47 Caller If they don't like you, they don't buckle you up, though.

48:49 Adam No, they put you on the hood. Bolo is here tonight promising a young heavyweight. Nine wins, all by knockout. How many losses do you think Bolo has, Drew?

49:02 Drew Zero.

49:03 Adam That's a good guess. Fighting.

49:05 Drew How many fights has he won without a knockout?

49:07 Adam Zero, same number, zero losses, zero wins without a knockout. That is nine and oh. And he's gonna be 10 and oh in about three days. This Friday's fight at the Henry Fonda Theater. I'm gonna be there. And you can go to www.poundforpoundboxing.com. That's L-B for the letter four, L-B, boxing.com.

49:31 Drew I was gonna say that because that's confusing. L-B for L-B, L-B for L-B, pound for pound. Not P-O-U-N-D.

49:37 Caller Or you could also go to 323-845-1425.

49:41 Drew 845-1425. How do they get guys to fight a guy that's got nine knockouts? Who in his right mind would?

49:48 Adam Well, they gotta give him a couple of bucks.

49:50 Drew And some, again, Captain Morgan again.

49:52 Adam A little shot of Captain Morgan.

49:54 Caller Nah, not before the fight.

49:55 Adam No, they gotta give.

49:56 Drew Not for you, for the guys that wanna get in the way with you, they must be.

49:59 Adam They gotta pay him. They gotta pay him.

50:01 Drew I see.

50:02 Adam You know what I'm saying? You gotta show me the money. Then they get in there.

50:05 Caller Everybody knows I'm a nice guy, so, you know. That's how I step in the ring.

50:09 Adam Yeah, then all that anger comes out. Then the game's over. Fast hands.

50:14 Drew I gotta take a box.

50:15 Adam You gotta take a box, and Drew, cause you're angry and you got nothing to take it out on. You gotta get in there without him. That's right, Drew. Drew, one time, Drew tried whacking the heavy bag. Remember that, Drew?

50:29 Drew No, we did it a series of times.

50:30 Adam We did it a couple times, but you never stopped complaining about it.

50:33 Drew The last time I did it, my neck tweaked so badly, it took two years.

50:37 Adam Drew was complaining. Two years later, he's still whining about the time I told him to whack the heavy bag.

50:42 Drew Yeah, my neck was just not, I pulled a disc or something, it was just bad times.

50:45 Adam Never been right.

50:46 Never been right.

50:51 Adam Drew stab you with a hypodermic and take you down and then start beating on you. You start getting dizzy, you go down like an animal being tranquilized and then he comes at you with the scalpel. That's the doc.

51:01 That's the doctor.

51:01 Adam That's the doctor. All right, Anderson, what are you yelling about?

51:07 Drew We can't hear you.

51:07 Adam I have no idea what you're saying, Anderson.

51:09 I'm just trying, like I do some nights where I have Chris do the levels.

51:12 Caller It's kind of a pain in the ass, sorry.

51:13 Drew Oh, he couldn't hear us. He couldn't hear the guest?

51:15 Adam Turn the guest up, turn Bolov. How dare you? Don't kill him, Bolov.

51:18 Caller It's gonna be a fight in here.

51:20 Adam That's right. And there's gonna be a better one on Friday night. Henry found it there.

51:24 Drew Just so you know, we hear this. I know, because I'm trying to do it in between Adam's rants, it's tough.

51:30 Adam Well, you ain't gonna squeeze in between my syllable system.

51:32 Drew I might as well just say, Adam, hang on a second. Chris, up there.

51:36 Caller And I don't want the guest to know, especially when he's a boxer, that Chris is keeping him way low.

51:41 Adam Come on, Chris. We're paying you 10 bucks an hour. Come on. All right, what are we gonna do? We're gonna take some calls.

51:48 Drew We gotta get back to Lucy, who has trouble masturbating.

51:50 Adam Okay, all right, where is she? She's line one, right? Lucy? All right, so 16. Trouble masturbating. Yeah? Yeah, anything weird happen when you're young?

52:04 Caller No, not at all, not at all.

52:06 Drew But this is the point, and this is what I wanna get into a little bit with her, is that women don't have the same drive to manipulate themselves the way men do. It actually feels kind of weird and uncomfortable. Yeah, but how does it feel to you?

52:21 Caller Well, okay, the funny thing is, like, a guy can do it to me and I'm fine, but I just can't, like, I can't do it myself. It's just like, yeah, and I don't, I don't know.

52:34 Drew Well, let's think, but I'm curious about what, what's the feeling that it evokes, Drew?

52:38 Adam I'm just curious. She doesn't know. She's 16, she doesn't know anything.

52:42 Drew Is it frightening? Is it fearful? Is it just uncomfortable? Is it hurt?

52:45 Adam All right, here we go.

52:49 Drew Now you're talking about insertion, though, right? Yes. You don't have to insert, in fact, you probably wouldn't insert to masturbate, right?

52:57 Adam I do.

53:00 Caller That's the thing I have problems with, doing that. Like, everything else is fine.

53:05 Drew You can't insert anything?

53:07 Caller Yeah.

53:07 Drew Well, that would be normal.

53:09 Adam Yeah, kind of normal. Are you a virgin?

53:12 Drew And so that could be uncomfortable if you insert something. So the working part's on the outside, right?

53:20 Adam All right, can you have an orgasm?

53:24 Drew She doesn't know. No, don't take that as a no.

53:26 Adam Yeah, or no?

53:29 Caller Yeah, it happened like once. Once.

53:32 Drew Again, once Adam discovered that. Put you on the list. Yes, it was not, you talked to him three weeks later, it was not like, uh, yeah, once. It was like, uh, yeah, I don't need a seventh time.

53:43 Adam No, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, with me and masturbation, it's like when they interview guys from surf movies, they may go, no hobby is a way of life. First time I went out, I was bitten by the bug and I've been in the ocean ever since. Just to replace masturbation for surfing. And that's what it's like. It's like, oh, I knew right then I had a relationship with the ocean, it was never gonna end. And I'd never, and every day, you know, they talk about like some religion. That's what I got with masturbation. That's what the guys got with surfing. That's it. And this is why you should never, ever let your kid go surfing because they just turn in one of these burnout hessiers to cut school, goes to the beach. Every time a swell kicks in, they follow it around. They're going to South America. They don't have any money. They're living out of a van and it becomes like heroin. And nobody ever tells them to quit because it's not heroin. They go, oh, look at you. Oh, you look good with your shirt off. What is that, a tan? That's nice. And everyone leaves them alone and they just end up being losers for us. That's what happened with me.

54:45 Caller Pat me on the back, pat me on the face.

54:47 Adam Let me tell you something. I'm Southpaw. Southpaw. So we're cool with the right hand.

54:52 Caller Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

54:54 Drew That's where you developed a big knot that was in your left hand, huh? Oh, you didn't tell me that. That explains it all now.

55:01 Adam I had a huge knot in the palm of my left hand that Drew tried to stab with a syringe and drain once, but nope, to no avail. That was over time. Oh, that was brutal. Oh, I had to have surgery, big old club hands. Oh, that was tough, doing with that cast, Drew. Speaking of pain. When I had the surgery, I had it on for a good two, three weeks.

55:27 Drew You remember that.

55:28 Adam Remember that? Huge, big club-sized thing I had on my hand.

55:32 Drew I don't remember it. You must have taken it off and mastered, you know.

55:35 Adam No, no, no, I did. I started training with my feet when I realized I was going to do the surgery.

55:41 Drew That's why you're doing that thing where you're flipping over and you're, okay.

55:44 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, wait a minute, we're done with Lucy, right? Who are we going to talk to? Let's talk to Laura. Laura?

55:54 Hi.

55:55 Adam What's happening, baby doll?

55:57 Nothing. I just want to say I love you guys so much. I listen to you every single night.

56:01 Adam Thanks.

56:02 Caller And I was listening to the PSAs. Adam, I think you should do a PSA about running the red arrows.

56:09 Adam That is a public service announcement for those people that don't know the radio lingo. Yes, and I would like everyone within the sound of my voice to drive through the red arrows when the light is green because you just sit around and wait to get T-boned by a drunk driver. Meanwhile, there's no traffic coming. Zero. We should all be left alone to do this. This is the greatest and freest country on the planet.

56:31 Drew Yes? Except for all the laws that are infringed upon us.

56:34 Adam That's right. To protect the freedoms.

56:36 Drew That infringes to protect.

56:37 Adam Laura, you got any? Drew's mad at the man because he's trying to fight his ticket. Take it like Mr. Drew. You got a... So Laura, did you have a question? Or it's just state?

56:47 Caller Actually, okay. I'm a student. I go to school in St. Paul and I live there too. And we don't have a lot of green arrow or like left green or left arrows and stuff.

56:57 Drew What school do you go to at St. Paul? St. Thomas?

56:59 Caller No, I go to Hamlin University.

57:00 Drew Hamlin University.

57:01 Adam You ever heard of that?

57:02 Drew No.

57:03 Adam No.

57:03 Drew I don't know what schools are in St. Paul.

57:05 Adam All right, go ahead, Lauren.

57:06 Caller But we do have a lot of the signs that say no right turn on red. I was wondering, Adam, what is your opinion in those? Do you run those as well?

57:17 Adam Yes. Isn't it illegal? I will not be satisfied until everyone in America is on the lam.

57:25 Drew Gets it.

57:25 Adam So physically trying to outrun the law. Because here's the thing too. They don't spin. In Minnesota, they'll probably spin you out. It's like NASCAR. LA, we got too many lawyers in this city. If you try to outrun the cops, you just get to drive until you run out of gas and then you get to walk to another car, fire that up and keep on going. I mean, there are low-speed pursuits that started in like January that are still going on. They pass my house every 20 minutes. It's the same guy, same disgruntled employee who's commandeered the van. Yeah, like the cops will not, here's the thing is, once you start fleeing, you gotta start ramming as the cop.

58:08 Drew That's an amphetamine move.

58:09 Adam It is? It is?

58:11 Drew Oh yeah. Those guys are all tweaking. All right.

58:14 Adam All right, so here's all I want in this country. If it's legal to turn right on a red and it makes sense in LA, then it should be that way in Minnesota and whatever rules they got that makes sense will do that too.

58:26 Drew This is a confederation of states.

58:28 Adam I don't want it that way. Here's what I want. I want one age, I want one level of alcohol consumption, like 0.15.

58:38 Drew That's the drug. He wants to be able to get as loaded as possible and drive.

58:41 Adam That's right.

58:42 Drew He wants to be able to go to any state and have a sex with a young woman and know it's okay.

58:45 Adam I like the 13, you become a woman.

58:48 Drew You want to know that you can go through.

58:50 Adam I want to buy fireworks. I want to buy fireworks in every city. I just say, all I'm saying is, let's just figure out what we can do and what we can't do and just have it everywhere. That's all I want. And I'll tell you, Bolo, when you start traveling, I like to have a nip at the airport. You know what I mean? Calms my nerves before I slide up in the first class.

59:09 Drew This is your biggest complaint.

59:10 Adam I want the bars open all different times at all different airports. LAX, it's like 7 a.m., but JFK out in New York, it's like noon. I'm just saying, we gotta pick a time. Because when I need a bloody Mary at 8 a.m. and I'm in New York, I need a bloody Mary. I'm just saying, if I gotta start carrying a flask, I'll start carrying one, but I need to know.

59:29 Caller Start carrying your own alcohol.

59:31 Adam I start carrying like a Boda bag filled with smearin off. All right, let's talk to, let's get it going now.

59:38 Drew Yeah, come on, Adam.

59:38 Adam Let's focus, let's go. Let's get this show back on the road, all right?

59:42 Drew Let's go now. That's not track anyway.

59:43 Adam All right, Bolo, let's focus now. Eric?

59:46 Yes, sir.

59:46 Adam You're 26.

59:48 Caller I am. What's up? I'm going through a thing with my wife. We're kinda talking about a divorce at this point. And I had an ex-girlfriend that I saw in town here recently. And she's wanting to rekindle what we had. My wife and I, we just, we fight mostly about, she doesn't think I like her family and vice versa. And I don't know, I'm just kinda wondering if this is, you know, should I go ahead and try to give it one more chance or should I walk away and kinda with a clean break or?

1:00:20 Adam Do you have any kids?

1:00:22 Caller No, we don't.

1:00:23 Drew What do you mean, walk away and clean break? And how did the ex-girlfriend get involved with this? What does that have to do with the clean break?

1:00:29 Caller Well, I don't know, I guess that's a wrong term, but it's just, I mean, I just saw it make sense.

1:00:33 Adam Hold on a second, let me explain something because it could be, you know, Bolo's younger, and then there could be an ethnic barrier. Rekindle is white for booty call. That's what we call it. We don't call it booty call.

1:00:45 Caller I didn't know what he was talking about.

1:00:46 Adam We say we wanna rekindle the relationship. That means you come over at 4 a.m. drunk and hit that ass and then stagger back home again. We like to rekindle. I'm getting a BJ in my car in the target parking lot at 3 a.m. rekindling.

1:01:03 Drew Well, it's interesting you went down that path because I went back and forth on Eric here. First, I was thinking to myself, oh, if I were talking to his ex-girlfriend, I'd be going, no, don't go back.

1:01:11 Adam Right.

1:01:12 Drew Then I softened to him. Then I thought, maybe, maybe.

1:01:15 Adam All right, so Eric.

1:01:16 Caller Yes.

1:01:18 Adam You guys, you and your wife, by the way, arguing over who likes whose family less or more doesn't seem like a deal breaker in a relationship. So what's up?

1:01:29 Caller I don't, I mean, I guess, well, I recently got put on Zoloft and my sex life has kind of died down a bit.

1:01:38 Caller Oh, he's on drugs.

1:01:41 Adam Now we don't believe you.

1:01:42 Drew Why don't you believe us?

1:01:43 Adam Why?

1:01:44 Drew Because that has nothing to do with why a relationship would end, especially when you know that that's what's driving your sex life down.

1:01:49 Adam You'd go off, you'd go to your doctor, and say, what about all that rekindling you're planning on doing?

1:01:53 Drew With the ex-girlfriend, exactly.

1:01:54 Adam All right. Now we don't believe you, Eric.

1:01:56 Caller Adam.

1:01:57 Adam I'm going to send Bolo over there. He's going to give you one Bolo punch and send you to an early grave.

1:02:04 Caller Now listen, Adam. I'm sorry.

1:02:09 Adam What do you want? You already said enough.

1:02:12 Caller I just want to say that I think you're a comedic genius and you always bring up your game. I saw you on Stern.

1:02:19 Adam Yeah.

1:02:20 Caller You always bring up your game. I mean, like when you have Tina Fey and Jay Moore and it's an A plus plus game you bring.

1:02:27 Adam That's right.

1:02:28 Caller You always bring A game, but you pick it up a notch.

1:02:31 Adam When you hear me on Stern, it's A plus plus, right?

1:02:34 Caller It's excellent. Yes.

1:02:35 Adam Thank you. Thank you. See, let me explain what Young Eric is saying. By the way, what an American this man is. As bogus collars go. I love this bogus collar. What he's saying is, just like in the fight game, Bolo, sometimes it takes a great opponent to bring out your best. A lot of guys only fight to the level of their opponent. Now, I sit here with Drew night after night and engineer Chris, it's really like staring at groupers in an aquarium. What? I'm not going to dance. Just big eyes swimming by real slow, everyone's mouth hanging open. I don't have to impress anybody, but when we get another comedian in here, it's time to show them who the true pound for pound champion is. And when you go on stern, it's time to let everyone know what's really going on. You see what I'm saying?

1:03:18 Drew Turn it up.

1:03:19 Adam See, I bring it up.

1:03:20 Drew What he's saying is he's lazy on this show, lazy F.

1:03:24 Adam I'm lazy, but all greats can take it to another level, which for me is a one above lazy when another comedian comes in. See what I'm saying? I step it up, Drew, I ratchet it up. Just when you thought I couldn't get any greater, I surprise you.

1:03:39 Drew Yeah, you wake up and bring it on.

1:03:41 Adam That's right, that's right, and that's what, now here, unfortunately, might not happen with Bolo on Friday night. He may just have to dispose of the guy in the first round.

1:03:50 Drew He doesn't have to worry about that.

1:03:51 Adam He doesn't have to worry about that. The reality is...

1:03:53 Drew I'm imagining one of those Popeye punches where the guy flies out and goes into a grave and a flower comes out.

1:03:58 Adam He does that. He lands on my lap, he spills my drink.

1:04:04 Caller Adam Lakers, when I get the blood on the shirt, so...

1:04:06 Adam Yeah, blood, sweat, snot flying around.

1:04:08 Drew Good times.

1:04:09 Adam Little semen. Oh, that was me. That's me. Them ring girls. When I see them fall down, boy, it gets me going. Heather? Yeah, hold on a second. I gotta say, there ain't nothing better than a drunken ring girl. It's just something exciting about a drunken ring girl.

1:04:26 Caller They don't drink no more. We don't let them drink no more.

1:04:28 Adam Oh, really? That's a bad... That's a big mistake. I'm gonna have to talk to Terry about that.

1:04:32 Caller Terry didn't like that.

1:04:33 Adam Ring girl is not quite... It's somewhere between... it's not porn star, but it ain't Victoria's Secret model either. And it's a... You want to know which side it's a little closer to? Porn star. A little bit. Long nails. Got that small of the back tats sometimes. Hot, but will bite you. You know what I mean? Like...

1:04:54 Caller Working for drinks.

1:04:54 Adam Good looking, working for drinks. Looking out. Who's that? The Waynes brothers?

1:04:58 Caller Who's that guy with the pillow head?

1:05:00 Adam Get out the way. Let me see the Waynes. That's what it is. Look at Denzel wearing his Detroit hat. I'm out there out of breath. Where do you think Bolo is?

1:05:13 Drew Before Bolo leaves, we've got to do a Germany or Florida.

1:05:15 Adam All right. Now, let me explain to Bolo what this game is. This is a game that is sweeping the nation. We have figured out that all bizarre stories either come from... Well, actually, Jimmy Kimmel figured it out at the writers' table many months ago, and I just ripped it off, which is all bizarre stories, all them crazy-ass stories you hear about. They either come from Germany or Florida. So the people call in, they ask us the question, they tell us the story, and then we decide, is it Germany or Florida? Go ahead, Dana.

1:05:51 Caller A woman has been arrested for biting the head off a friend's pet python. The wheelchair-using woman was with a group of friends when the incident happened. The 46-year-old asked if she could hold the python, and then told the group she was going to bite its head off. When the snake's owner turned around moments later, she saw the reptile dangling from the woman's hand with its head missing. While she didn't see the incident, her boyfriend, who was watching from nearby, told police she was, er, she saw the woman, he saw the woman bite the snake. She told the officers a dog had bit in the snake.

1:06:28 Adam Oh, she's lying. Well, it's nice to see the handicapped showing that can-do attitude, you know what I mean? A lot of people just stay in a wheelchair, she's in a wheelchair, and bit the head of a snake off. You know what I mean?

1:06:43 Drew I didn't hear that part.

1:06:44 Adam She's in a wheelchair, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, she's handicapped, Drew. Wow. Yeah, well, that's my job. So, here's the thing, my first impulse was Florida.

1:06:56 Drew I heard snake.

1:06:57 Adam You're still in Florida?

1:06:57 Drew I'm still in the Florida zone.

1:06:58 Adam Really? You don't want to go to Germany?

1:07:00 Caller I don't think they have snakes in Germany.

1:07:03 Drew Well, tell me about the Germany. It could be a little snake. In Python, we think of a nine-foot snake.

1:07:07 Adam At least.

1:07:08 Drew Baby Python.

1:07:09 Adam It could be Baby Python, but I hear more Germany. I hear snake. I hear Florida.

1:07:15 Drew I smell Florida. Why do you say Germany?

1:07:17 Adam I'm just trying to mix it up. I'm playing devil's advocate.

1:07:20 Drew Let's think about it here.

1:07:21 Adam No, there's nothing to think about. I think it's Florida.

1:07:24 Drew Oh, I thought, didn't you start out saying you were going Germany?

1:07:28 Adam No, I'm going Florida. I'm just trying to bait you with some Germany. You're going Florida, too, Bolo? All right, Dana, we're all going Florida.

1:07:35 Drew Yeah.

1:07:35 Caller They don't have snakes in Germany.

1:07:38 Adam That's how you play Germany or Florida. By the way, we were right last night. Yeah, we're really on a roll, Drew. Nobody's felt better. No one feels better about themselves when it comes to nonsense than you are, right? We're eight out of 10 for Germany or Florida. Shut up, you idiot.

1:07:55 Drew Who cares? When we match our bets on somebody having been abused, it's not just nonsense. The macabre, generally. I know.

1:08:01 Adam Do you understand? It's like we're in a lockdown or some prison. We're in the tank. We're in the hole somewhere. We're just trying to entertain ourselves. Isn't that what the show has become, Drew? You and I playing a big, long rock, paper, scissor game. Hey, nice one, Drew. That's good. Germany or Florida. Fantastic. What are you? Come on, you're a doctor. You shouldn't be lowering yourself to this. All right, let's take one more call.

1:08:23 Drew No, no, no, come on. We're done.

1:08:26 Adam We're done? We're taking a break?

1:08:27 Drew Yeah.

1:08:28 Adam All right, I want to give Bolo some nice plugs.

1:08:32 Drew Let me put out this website, because I swear this website is a confusing one.

1:08:36 Adam How do you say it? Say it in the least confusing way. This is where you go if you want to come out Friday night, you're in the Los Angeles area, and you want to have some fun, and you want to have me not talk to you. This is where you go.

1:08:47 Drew You would tell someone to go to poundforpoundboxing.com, but wait. It's LB, number four, LB, for LB Boxing, but the point is though, it's the abbreviation for pound followed by the number four, abbreviation for pound, boxing.com, no spaces.

1:09:15 Adam By the way, Terry Clavon, he's a genius, he's fine, but why the LB?

1:09:20 Drew It's something from old England.

1:09:22 Adam Well, let's just put a P there. It's confusing. You know what I mean? The LB, it's nothing, that doesn't say pound. I mean, it does because you know it, but I just put a P in there. You see what I'm saying?

1:09:32 Caller I don't know who came up with that.

1:09:34 Adam Yeah, go find what the LB is Drew. Hurry, Bolo, go after him. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to do a show where it's called Bolo Does Adam's Bidding. Hey Bolo, that guy gave me the stink eye. Which one? Kick his ass. Kick his ass. And Bolo's beating the crap out of someone. I'm going, no, Bolo, that's the wrong guy. No, that's his old lady. It's him, that dude. Give it to him. Anybody, mailman, the tax man, pool guy is not doing a good job. Kick his ass. What'd you find out, Drew? All right. Then shut up, would you? Well, stop grunting. That's what I like. I like. Bolo does my bidding. We go, we walk around, we go out to eat, service is a little slow. Bolo, go get him.

1:10:14 Caller Kick the waiter's ass.

1:10:15 Adam Kick the waiter's ass. Dry cleaning's not on time or there's a spot in my shirt. Go get him. Kick his ass.

1:10:21 Caller Yeah.

1:10:22 Adam Jehovah's Witness comes to the door, Bolo, get the door, smash his bike, too. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break, Bolo. Great seeing you. I'll see you. Maybe tomorrow.

1:10:34 Caller Oh, yeah, I'm gonna come in and watch you.

1:10:36 Adam But for sure, for sure. Because I'll get you pumped up for the fight. I'll put my moves on you. Uh-oh, Drew's got the LB. What do you got? Alpha Pound.

1:10:45 Drew Back to the Roman term Libra.

1:10:47 Adam Libra.

1:10:48 Drew Yeah, which was...

1:10:50 Adam That meant pound?

1:10:52 Drew I'll look it up. I'll get it all straightened out. All right.

1:10:54 Adam But the LB is for Libra. In the abbreviation for pound. Well, there you go. Alpha Pound Boxing. All right. Go to that. And we'll see you on Friday night, and we'll be right back after this.

1:11:07 Caller If you need help, hang up, and then dive, dive.

1:11:12 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:14 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:11:33 Adam Yeah, everybody.

1:11:34 Drew You saved that up to Bolo's departure. You just let out a huge fart.

1:11:38 Adam That wasn't huge.

1:11:39 Drew You saved that up to Bolo's departure. You just let out a huge fart.

1:11:42 Adam That wasn't huge. It was like a seven. I let a little something go before, right before we went on there, just a little, forget me not for Drew. All right, Bolo has left the studio. Always good seeing him. Nice guy, right? Yeah, good guy. Yeah, where do you see him in the ring? In the animal, I tell you, Drew. We will hop back to the phones. Drew went on the internet and looked up why the LB symbol is used for pound, as in pound for pound boxing. Yes, Drew?

1:12:17 Drew I said it on the air. It goes back to the Roman term libra, L-I-B-R-N. Then apparently this little history site said that it was to distinguish the abbreviation from the pound sterling, money, which was a fancy L.

1:12:30 Adam Uh-huh, the British pound.

1:12:32 Drew Yeah, or the French, who else has pounds?

1:12:35 Adam I have no idea.

1:12:37 Drew Somebody else had pounds. Anyway.

1:12:38 Adam Listen, I barely know what we have. I really do. Once in a while, people will be like, that's a lot of Jeffersons, and I'll be like, what is that, the $8, what is that, $2.50? Which one is that? Is there a Jefferson? Does he have a bill? Is that a quarter? What's he on? You know, this is basically, if you wanna know how retarded I am, I've handled millions of $5 bills in my life.

1:13:05 Drew Don't know who's on it.

1:13:06 Adam I have no idea. I wouldn't know what, no, I don't, I don't.

1:13:10 Drew Oh, come on, that's impossible.

1:13:12 Adam Is it impossible that I don't know what's on the $5 bill?

1:13:14 Drew Yes.

1:13:15 Adam Really?

1:13:15 Drew Give it a shot.

1:13:16 Adam You want me to really give it a shot?

1:13:19 Drew Think about what's on the back. I'll give you a hint.

1:13:21 Adam The back is a pyramid with like an eyeball on it.

1:13:25 Drew That's the $1 bill.

1:13:26 Adam That's the $1 bill. The back is a...

1:13:30 Drew What's on the back is a monument to the guy in the front.

1:13:33 Adam Oh, all right. There you go. There you go, now I know. Here we go, this is it. I'm gonna go with Walter Payton.

1:13:47 Drew I'm gonna show you the back.

1:13:48 Adam All right, show me that, no, no, it's not, it's unfair. Drew, put the money back. Hold on a second, what kind of wallet is that, Drew?

1:13:55 Drew My wife gave me.

1:13:56 Adam Please, is that a Gucci wallet?

1:13:58 Drew It's some fake of something.

1:13:59 Adam That's a Yves Saint Laurent? Oh, you pussy, look at that. It looks like an old woman's purse. Chris, you see this wallet? Look at this thing.

1:14:08 Drew It's great, he likes it.

1:14:10 Adam Listen, you need something made out of leather with a chain on it. Really, it looks like, you might as well carry a purse.

1:14:18 Drew I'll start carrying a purse.

1:14:20 Adam Lincoln.

1:14:21 Drew Thank you.

1:14:22 Caller Yeah.

1:14:23 Drew You recognize that?

1:14:24 Adam No, Lincoln's monument? No, I only recognize Lincoln's monument if you get up close. Yeah.

1:14:31 Drew Because you see him sitting there.

1:14:33 Adam Yeah, I see him sitting there.

1:14:34 Drew But you got this, right?

1:14:36 Adam I got the picture of Lincoln, yeah. 20? That's a good, by the way, that's the creepy, we were talking earlier about the creepy black guy look, which is the Joe Jackson, Michael Jackson's dad at that penciled-in mustache. It's just a little faint thing on the upper lip. Creepy white guy look, beard, no mustache. Well, that's creepy white guy look.

1:14:59 Drew That's creepy religious guy, it's zealot, it has a kya.

1:15:04 Adam It does now, yeah. Named all his kids after the apostles. Gonna beat you down with the Bible.

1:15:10 Drew It also says farmer.

1:15:12 Adam Yeah, farmer.

1:15:12 Drew It says agriculture.

1:15:16 Adam Right, he's judging you because you use the Lord's name in vain. Meanwhile, he's married to nine women, he's cheating on them. Right, 44 kids the state takes care of.

1:15:26 Drew Back of the 20s.

1:15:27 Adam Back of the 20s, that's the White House, right?

1:15:30 Drew Good, nothing to do with the front.

1:15:32 Adam Back of the 20s.

1:15:32 Drew Somebody was in the White House. But nothing to do with it otherwise.

1:15:38 Adam The 20s.

1:15:39 Drew This is not easy.

1:15:40 Adam Oh, 20's not easy?

1:15:41 Drew Not really. Not really.

1:15:42 Adam Andrew.

1:15:43 Drew Andrew Jackson.

1:15:44 Adam Andrew Jackson. There you go, first name. Because he looks scary. Hair all windblown.

1:15:52 Drew He was a pretty skeletal, weird looking guy by the time he got the presidency.

1:15:56 Adam Oh, really?

1:15:56 Drew He used to get in fights and bullets in him and stuff in New Orleans.

1:15:59 Adam I like it. I like the old days when the presidents would, first off, if you wanted to barbecue on the lawn of the White House, you go ahead and do it or you want to crap your horse up there.

1:16:08 Drew You just fight everybody.

1:16:10 Adam There's no fence. People hang out on the front lawn. Pitch a tent on your front lawn.

1:16:14 Drew Listen, the inaugural party, just come on in.

1:16:17 Adam Come on down. Come on down, everyone. Come on down. Doors open. Imagine that. And, by the way, even if you were president, if somebody insulted your wife, just take a shot at them. You meet them.

1:16:27 Drew Certainly. Up through Truman, you took a swing.

1:16:30 Adam You took a swing, yeah. Yeah. But imagine, imagine the White House, like, here's the White House. It's drunk, it's 4 a.m., and you come staggering up to the door and just start banging on it. And the porch light flicks on. Guy looking at you through the people. Yes, what do you want? Just kind of slippers in a silk robe, smoking a pipe. As the president answers the door. I mean, you could go trick or treating and hit the White House.

1:16:55 Drew Most of their day was spent with people looking for jobs. And they would take audience with whoever showed up.

1:17:00 Adam People just walking up the lawn.

1:17:02 Drew They just show up and ask for jobs, basically.

1:17:05 Adam Drew, how close do you think to the White House these days before you just got tackled, hammered down?

1:17:10 Drew When I go to DC, I always run. I go and run every evening. I just have this, I love it. It's just beautiful, the mall and stuff. And you're running outside the big giant cement barriers, which are already outside the fence, which are already 300 yards, about a quarter mile from the pillar. They eyeballing you as you run.

1:17:26 Adam What's going on on that White House? What do you think's really going on?

1:17:29 Drew Well, there's an underground world.

1:17:30 Adam They got a bomb shelter under there?

1:17:33 Drew No, there's an underground world under there.

1:17:35 Adam Really?

1:17:36 Drew Oh, apparently.

1:17:36 Adam Mold people?

1:17:38 Drew Military mold people, yeah.

1:17:39 Adam Oh, really? Underground world?

1:17:41 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:17:42 Adam What's on the top? Back at guns and stuff like that?

1:17:45 Drew Old building where Lincoln used to live.

1:17:46 Adam Think there's stuff on the roof, though?

1:17:48 Drew I'm sure.

1:17:48 Adam Something to shoot a plane down?

1:17:49 Drew I'm sure now there is.

1:17:50 Adam All right, and then what's underneath? How far?

1:17:52 Drew I don't know, I've just heard the talk that there's an old world under there.

1:17:56 Adam Do you think the President...

1:17:57 Drew And the State Department's right across the street.

1:17:58 Adam You think the President can get out of the White House without leaving a door?

1:18:02 Drew I bet.

1:18:02 Adam Go underneath?

1:18:03 Drew I bet.

1:18:04 Adam Pop out through some manhole cover in Wisconsin?

1:18:06 Drew Yeah.

1:18:07 Adam Look left and right, and then back down again, right? Mm-hmm. All right, I'm gonna check that out. I took a tour of the White House, Drew. Oh yeah.

1:18:15 Drew I remember that.

1:18:15 Adam I was there. Esther? You're 20?

1:18:19 Caller Yeah.

1:18:20 Adam What's up?

1:18:21 Caller I had a question about...

1:18:23 Drew We're not done talking about presidential history. Are we on the air?

1:18:27 Adam Oh, who cares? I was enlightening everybody, including me. Hey, Esther. Would you have a family member name, Esther?

1:18:36 Caller No. It's a biblical name. I got it.

1:18:39 Adam Oh, it's one of them Jewish things?

1:18:41 Caller Yeah. Well, I'm not Jewish. I just read the Bible, so.

1:18:43 Drew Queen Esther. Queen Esther was a butt kicker. Let's talk about biblical history.

1:18:46 Adam All right, Drew. Yes. Sink into the tablet next, would you? All right, what's the question? Let's go. Let's talk about vaginas and bent penises. Here we go.

1:18:55 Drew What's up, Esther?

1:18:56 Caller Well, I had a question about the morning after pill. And Dr. Drew, I think you said that it only inhibits ovulation a couple days ago.

1:19:05 Drew That there were some publications, a review. I brought it with me. And it was actually in a Women's Health Journal for Physicians where they were finally taking the position that the overwhelming evidence suggests that the only real mechanism that this uses is suppression of ovulation. There's speculation that maybe it affects the way sperm gets to the egg. It may affect implantation. But the overwhelming effect is by preventing ovulation just the way the overwhelming effect of the birth control pill taken before you have intercourse is to prevent ovulation.

1:19:39 Adam So it's not an abortion pill.

1:19:41 Drew My point has always been that any oral contraceptive, any hormonal contraceptive could have a finite effect on implantation. So theoretically, any oral contraceptive could be taken issue if you are strictly anti-abortion. If the implantation issue is so profoundly set in your mind, then you gotta get rid of all hormonal contraceptions, not just the morning after pill. And that's a viable position. I understand people take that position. But to say the morning after pill is the bad pill, that is not a defensible position.

1:20:12 Caller Yeah, I'm actually I'm pro-life and I am against oral contraception. Okay.

1:20:18 Adam Holy mackerel. What, you're against oral contraception?

1:20:23 Caller Yeah.

1:20:23 Adam Because of the hold on a second here's let me let me explain how my what you just heard. Let me explain, let me explain. Here's how I work it.

1:20:32 Drew You're adding some weights to this.

1:20:32 Adam She's 20, she's calling from Sacramento. Starting at 140. Named Esther, Esther, who's Esther? She's a figure from the Bible. Okay, now you're up to 155. I'm pro-life. All right, now we're at 163 and I'm against oral contraception. We're now 181. We're heading toward 200. We're heading toward 200 pounds here.

1:20:58 Drew I'm interested in talking to Esther because she is the first person I've spoken to that is of that persuasion philosophically who's taking a strong position that I think is defensible.

1:21:09 Adam So go ahead, what do you want to say? Now I have her cruiser weight. We started at Welter. We moved through a super middleweight and a light heavyweight. We're on boxing tonight. And now we're now right at cruising. And she's heading toward heavyweight.

1:21:23 Drew So Esther, what's your position? Go ahead.

1:21:25 Caller Okay, well actually, I didn't mean to say oral contraception. I meant to say anything that's progestin in it. Because isn't that what causes the descending of the uterine lining?

1:21:37 Adam Oh, well hold on. I gotta shave some pounds. Because she's leaving. This is now Earth Mama, not Bible Thumper. She's worried about the man poisoning her and her vagina falling off and getting dirty. Oh, let me deduct some weight here, Drew. All right, so we're somewhere between light heavy and cruiser. Yeah, we're dipping down now.

1:22:01 Drew Could be in a free fall.

1:22:03 Adam We're going, we're going, Unless she says wicca. We're going junior middle weight now. Oh, if you go the wicca and religion, now we're up the super heavy weight.

1:22:11 Drew All right, Esther, listen. See, but let's at least say this. You're against hormonal ingestion that could even have a theoretical possibility of impairing implantation, right? So you're against, you're against IUDs? Yes. And you're against any hormones that could have been, and really, it's primarily-

1:22:32 Adam I thought she was against it for now physical problems.

1:22:34 Drew No, no, no, she's a philosophical.

1:22:36 Adam I'm gonna take the weight back on again, Drew.

1:22:39 Drew So Esther's-

1:22:39 Caller I wanna say philosophical.

1:22:41 Drew What is it?

1:22:41 Caller Well, I've just seen a lot of evidence that life begins at conception.

1:22:45 Drew Yeah, it's a philosophical point.

1:22:46 Adam Now we're well over 200 pounds.

1:22:48 Drew Yeah, it's a philosophical point, and if you really believe that anything that could get in the way of an implantation, anything, then you have to say the only really means of contraceptive that somebody should use would be a barrier.

1:23:02 Adam Like one of those things out front of the White House?

1:23:03 Drew Yeah, the cement barrier.

1:23:04 Adam Big cement barrier.

1:23:05 Drew What's that, Esther?

1:23:05 Caller I have a question why you think it's philosophical and not scientific.

1:23:10 Drew Well, here's- Because I think in the interest of prudence that it's reasonable to take a finite risk with the implantation issue.

1:23:19 Adam How much-

1:23:20 Drew That you're gonna end up with so many abortions and so many unwanted pregnancies, if you don't, in the interest of prudence, allow people to try to get their ovulation suppressed, I think it's a philosophical point.

1:23:32 Adam Let me explain, and by the way, how much you weigh in, Esther?

1:23:35 Caller How much I weigh? 130.

1:23:38 Adam 130?

1:23:39 Drew There you go.

1:23:40 Adam She's three foot six.

1:23:43 Drew Esther is a smart and interesting caller.

1:23:45 Adam I can't stand it. Are you attractive? Tell me you have a hook nose and one brow, please. Okay, let's get rid of her.

1:23:53 Drew No, no, that's Esther. So what is it you'd like to say? Since you have a, first time I've talked to somebody that wants to take the philosophical position that it's all bad, that's fine with me. We can agree to disagree.

1:24:05 Adam Yeah.

1:24:06 Drew Well, by the way, I agree with your philosophical point. I just think in the interest of prudence, it should allow it.

1:24:10 Adam All right, Esther's point is that.

1:24:15 Drew Life begins at conception.

1:24:16 Adam Life begins at conception.

1:24:17 Drew Which is, by the way, a very viable position to take. Even though many organizations don't take that, the reality is that's a point that everybody can agree something new is happening.

1:24:27 Adam Yeah.

1:24:27 Drew Even though it may not survive if it doesn't implant, something is happening that has the potential to be a human life at that point. Yeah, all right.

1:24:34 Adam Well, I'll tell you, but let me explain something that a lot of the religious nut jobs have a little difficulty with, which is they don't see shades of gray. We've had this conversation before, but it's been a while, which is there's nothing more majestic than a 500-year-old Sequoia redwood tree, you know, eight foot wide at the trunk, stretching up toward the heavens. And if that tree gets toppled, it's a tragedy if some logger comes in and hacks off. But when that thing's a sapling, if some tourist backs over it when it's six inches off the ground, would you call it a tragedy? It's just not. It just isn't. Is it gonna be a sequoia one day? Probably.

1:25:15 Drew It has potential to be.

1:25:15 Adam It has potentially could be a sequoia. Also has the potential to fall over and crush someone who's camping, which is equivalent to this guy getting high, being a junkie and stabbing someone in the neck with a ballpoint pen. Let's not forget, all humans don't turn out to be such great contributors to the planet. I don't know what the numbers are, but look around, turn on the news these days. Let's look at it worldwide. A lot of people out there just effing, getting drunk and not paying taxes and spreading a little AIDS around. But my point is, is so not all of us are gonna be intellectual giants or captains of industry or work with the retarded. Some of us gonna be killers, some of us gonna be junkies, some of us gonna be pedophiles. You know what I mean? So we don't need to save everybody. That's all I'm saying. But here's the shade of gray that the Bible thumpers don't see. If you, your spontaneous abortion, first trimester, sad. A sad situation for a couple if they're trying to have a kid. Kid comes out stillborn. That's worse, worse, worse. Kid gets cleaned out on his tricycle, chasin, ridin after the ball at age three. Find him floatin in the pool, age seven.

1:26:33 Drew Intolerable.

1:26:33 Adam And killed by drunk driver on prom night.

1:26:37 Drew Well, that could be a good thing.

1:26:38 Adam Devastating. No, prom night's fine. Yeah, after your daughter got laid. Oh!

1:26:45 Drew On the way home.

1:26:47 Adam Yeah, yeah, we did an autopsy. We found semen all over. Covered with semen. Actually, some of that protected her from the fire. All right, the point is horrible. The prom night scenario, I don't know, 100 times worse than the first trimester, oops, there's a liver.

1:27:07 Drew How about the blastosphere, the morula that doesn't implant?

1:27:11 Adam The thing that doesn't implant, yeah, that you don't even know about.

1:27:14 Drew It's just a couple of cells.

1:27:15 Adam Shade of gray. Shades of gray. One's black, one's white, and then there's everything in between.

1:27:19 Drew Especially when potentially sacrificing a couple of the groups of cells to save maybe millions of abortions.

1:27:28 Adam Right.

1:27:28 Drew That makes sense to me.

1:27:30 Adam But we're not going to get rid of Esther so fast.

1:27:32 Drew No, I like Esther. Hey.

1:27:33 Adam All right, now hold on.

1:27:34 Drew We like you.

1:27:35 Adam You heard my diatribe and you're moved. Yes? OK, hold on a second. No, wait.

1:27:40 Drew You've got to take a break. Then we'll talk to her.

1:27:59 Adam I give one last plug out for my main man, Terry Klaybon, over here before we go to break. But then that's it, Terry, so you can turn the radio show off because you're going to hear no more plugs after this. You go to www.poundforpound.boxing. I'm sorry, www.poundforpoundboxing.com. You get those tickets for this Friday night, and I'll see you at the Henry Fonda Theater. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll get back and argue with Esther after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Forget about that phone number. Ron Livingston is going to be in here. Fine actor Ron Livingston. Tomorrow night. All right. Now we left off. Do we really got to talk to Esther? Let's hurry.

1:29:05 Drew Esther, what is your final statement?

1:29:08 Caller Final statement? I'm just saying that if we don't know when life begins, I think we should give the benefit of the doubt to life.

1:29:16 Drew Let's say it is. Let's say it is at the point of conception. Let's say it is. Is it worth risking the possibility of a few of those balls of cells to save millions of abortions? Let's just say it does and let's say that using hormones might sacrifice a couple of those balls of cells and it might prevent a million later term abortions.

1:29:49 Caller Stay with me, Esther.

1:29:53 Adam No, and no difference between the 200 foot tall sequoia and the mini little two inch sampling sticking out of the earth to you. No difference between those two things?

1:30:04 Caller The difference in that just one's bigger in size.

1:30:06 Adam All right, so no difference.

1:30:08 Drew It's right. It's a philosophical position and you want to defend its size.

1:30:12 Adam It's called retardedism, really.

1:30:14 Drew Yeah, it is. It's actually the only fully defensible philosophical position you can take. The rest of them are all BS. Well, this one is this good philosophical position.

1:30:23 Adam No, here it is. It's like taking some iron ore and me yelling that could have been a Ferrari. It's like, no, it's just the ore.

1:30:34 Drew No, it's a little different. It's things that are definitely going to have the potential to definitely be and will be.

1:30:39 Adam They have the potential. Well, the iron ore has the potential to be a Ferrari. It's not definitely going to be, but the kid could be born with no heartbeat or five years or like one of our cars with a penis that reaches around and pokes him in the ass.

1:30:54 Drew Sammy is 15.

1:30:55 Adam Sammy?

1:30:57 Caller Yes?

1:30:57 Adam What's happening?

1:30:58 Caller Nothing.

1:31:00 Adam What's the question, baby doll?

1:31:05 Caller This happened about two weeks before I got out of school.

1:31:13 Drew That would have been what? That's what she said, she got out of school.

1:31:15 Adam Oh, two weeks.

1:31:16 Drew Two weeks before she got out of school.

1:31:17 Adam What day is it?

1:31:17 Drew She got out on July 28th.

1:31:22 Adam Two Fridays to come. Go ahead, Sammy.

1:31:23 Caller All right, well, I was hanging out with these guys. I think there were four of them. And I just, me and my friend, we went, I was at her house and we called them up and we went over there.

1:31:39 Today, Junior?

1:31:41 Adam Come on, baby.

1:31:43 Caller And then I decided to drink.

1:31:46 Adam You decided to drink or they busted out some wine coolers?

1:31:53 Caller That's like my favorite beer. Anyways.

1:31:56 Drew What is your question?

1:31:57 Caller All right, well, we all, I guess, I think... All right.

1:32:06 Adam Hold on a second. You got to turn your radio down, by the way, because...

1:32:09 Drew I don't think your radio's on.

1:32:10 Adam Oh, no.

1:32:11 Drew That's just her.

1:32:12 Adam No, you got to turn the radio down, turn your brain up. I could hear it in the background. Listen, Sam, you had sex with two of the guys?

1:32:18 Caller Yeah.

1:32:20 Adam Well, you're 15.

1:32:21 Caller Yeah. And then the next night, I went out with my sister, and I did it again.

1:32:26 Drew With two different guys? If we had less than, more than five seconds, which is all we have, I bet, on this one. Right. Do some gambling.

1:32:36 Adam All right, Sammy.

1:32:38 Drew Slow it down, Sammy.

1:32:39 Adam You will regret this. Please slow it down. As a matter of fact, slow it down to a stop.

1:32:44 Drew Get a pelvic exam. Make sure you haven't infected yourself. Make sure you're not pregnant.

1:32:48 Adam All right. Just don't end up being like one of our screwball callers, would you? I mean, you already are, but don't be at a 25. Just stop, please. Get your attention somewhere else. Find Jesus Christ. Try out for the girls' golf team. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:33:04 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

1:33:05 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:33:09 Adam One call is all you need to make.

1:33:10 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:11 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:33:14 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:25 Caller This hour brought to you in part...

1:33:40 Adam Alright, well that's the show everybody. We thank Bolo for coming in here. Again, pound for pound, www.poundforpoundboxing.com. I'll see you Friday night, Henry Fonda Theater. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew's saying, mahalo. Look it out. Who's that, the Wains brothers?

1:33:58 Caller Who's that guy with the billow head?

1:34:00 Adam Get out the way.

1:34:01 Caller Let me see the Wains.

1:34:04 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:34:16 Adam The producer for Love Line is Annie Gold. Love Line is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, August 3, 2004