Episode 1000632810996

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:03 Adam Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, board certified physician.

1:10 Bob's best, best.

1:17 Adam Oh, thank Christ, no guests tonight. Those pesky, troublesome guests.

1:23 Drew Always just, they're getting in the way of your rants.

1:25 Adam They're bees in my bonnet. You understand? I gotta pay attention.

1:29 Drew Yeah, you gotta talk to them. You can't just go on.

1:31 Adam Well, I talk at them, but I have to act interested. Oh, and the new CD. I don't know, number 1 on the Latin Grammy charts. Oh, it's a fantastic, oh, oh. These are good guys.

1:41 Drew I like them.

1:42 Adam Ozo Motley? Yeah, nice guys. Yeah, good guys. I like them.

1:46 Drew I hadn't heard all those epithets about the Mexican-American in quite some time.

1:51 Adam Really? Who came out?

1:53 Drew You.

1:54 Adam Me? I did not, not epithets.

1:56 Drew Well, epithets like Beaner and.

1:58 Adam No, I didn't do that.

1:59 Drew You did.

1:59 Wetback?

2:00 Drew Yeah, you were using all kinds of words like that.

2:02 Adam Oh, really?

2:02 Drew I had to explain to my kids what they meant.

2:04 Adam On the air?

2:05 Really?

2:06 Adam Wow, didn't even know it. Really? I didn't do it on the air.

2:12 Drew Well, maybe not, but you did it in this room.

2:15 Adam Was it Beaner, Wetback?

2:18 Drew At the very beginning, at the very beginning, when you kept yelling at me for being quiet because it was so uncomfortable.

2:24 Adam Oh, well, maybe I was using it sometimes.

2:26 Drew Yeah, you're not being derogatory.

2:28 Adam I use a racial epithet to make an example of somebody who's a racist.

2:34 Drew Yeah, yeah, I remember being uncomfortable, but not totally inappropriate. And I just hadn't heard those terms in a long time. That's all. They're very creative terms, you say, very historical.

2:46 Adam I like it when they just name the race after the food, like kraut, you know, it's pretty simple. It's like, well, they eat sauerkraut. We'll call them krauts. Although it doesn't seem to mean all that much. Like, I don't know, as American, you might be called a hot dog or corn dog or cheeseburger or something.

3:03 Drew Yeah.

3:04 Adam We have to sit still. And by the way, I put this challenge out to, we call the American Indians the maize, the corn. I put this challenge out to the public. Still looking for a good name for Whitey.

3:18 Drew Yeah.

3:19 Adam You know what I mean?

3:19 Drew Yeah, a good derogatory, descriptive.

3:22 Adam Yeah.

3:22 Drew Digging.

3:23 Adam Yeah, I gotta tell you, a cracker just, it doesn't stick quite right. It's water on a duck's back. It just rolls right off. It's nothing. Whitey's not good. Honky's kinda funny.

3:36 Drew Whitey's good, Ronda's good.

3:37 Adam Yeah, it's just sorta, you guys need something. You know, you need an N-word. You know what I'm saying?

3:46 Drew Yeah, why don't you work on that?

3:48 Adam Me?

3:49 Drew Speaking of work on something.

3:50 Adam I can't do that.

3:50 Drew Yeah, you can.

3:52 Adam I can't come up with one good for myself. Do you know what I mean?

3:56 Drew I see.

3:56 Adam For my people.

3:57 Drew The other countries.

3:58 Adam That's up to the other races. Let's see what you can do, everybody.

4:01 Drew The better Iraq's got some good stuff.

4:03 Adam Iraq?

4:04 Drew They must have some.

4:04 Adam No, no, you know, that's the problem with those people. Here's what they do. They build a horrible effigy. They take, you know, they take a mop handle and they tape a picture of Bush to it from the USA Today. And then they burn it. And they'll jump on top of it and laugh like maniacs. That's like, when they take the American flag, it's a bed sheet with a Crayola written on it. They scrub the flag and then they burn that. By the way, can't get hold of an American flag. Got to use a bed sheet. Someone's got to send them some flags so they can have a proper burning out in the middle of town. I always like it when one of them, then their sleeve catches on fire. Half of them are barefoot or wearing sandals, like while they're jumping on the effigy of Bush, which again is the mop handle with the picture from USA Today, tape duct tape to the front of it.

4:49 Drew Cartoon hand drawn.

4:50 Adam Yeah, they're not. They just look, I'll tell you. I'll tell you, I'll tell you what a guy with an entrepreneurial spirit would do, Drew. I'd like to head over there with about 10,000 units of American flags. These are paper. This is paper that's doused in kerosene. I mean, that stuff goes up like a Roman candle. You know what I mean?

5:10 Drew It's like infected blankets.

5:12 Adam Yeah, three different sizes. No, no, no. No, I'm not an infected blanket. That's different. That's when we're trying to kill off the American Indians. I'm talking, they're doused in kerosene. As soon as you put a match to them, they go up, nothing better.

5:25 Drew What I'm saying is that they'll have such a time with it. They'll light the whole place on fire. It'll be an internal sort of a...

5:32 Adam Here's the problem with burning the place that's just made of mud and straw.

5:38 Caller Oh yeah, don't burn.

5:39 Adam No, nothing burns over there. No better, no safer city to smoke in than Iraq. It's really like smoking on the surface of Mars. It's just, there's nothing but rock and sand everywhere. So there's no fire thing. But listen, Drew, hear me out. I head out to Iraq. I got myself a bunch of American flags. And again, these things, I'll make them in Indonesia. It'll cost me about three, four cents a unit. I'll head out there. I'll go out there with some real Bush effigies. I mean, where we really, where the thing really looks like, I mean, you could have sex with it. You know what I mean?

6:12 Drew It's that. It'll be equivalent of like a Disney theme store. Believe it, American theme store.

6:15 Adam American theme store.

6:17 Drew With specially designed objects to be burned.

6:19 Adam It'll end up being like a fireworks stand. You just buy, hey, you wanna buy Bush? Hey, here's Cheney, here's, oh, oh. Here's a big fiberglass Michael Moore. Put him on the roof during Christmas time like we'll do with Santa or Frosty. Someone put on your lawn. Like, yeah, Michael Moore, you don't wanna burn him. A big, big fat.

6:38 Drew Put a light under him.

6:39 Adam Yeah, put a candle in him. Yeah, just like a big fat fiberglass one like we have with Santa. Big plastic fat, as a matter of fact, we could probably just retrofit some of the Santas that are out there already.

6:52 Drew Now you're merchandising the anti-Americanism. It's a good time.

6:55 Adam Trim the beard back a little, put some glasses on the Santa, take the red coat and spray paint it brown, put some suede patches on the sleeves. Michael, yeah, so who do you want? You want Condoleezza Rice? We got her. We got catalogs. You come on down, you buy this junk, and then it's burning time.

7:13 Drew And instead of fleecing or flocking them like you would a Christmas tree, you soak them. You spray them down with kerosene or something flammable.

7:20 Adam Yeah, no, no, they're impregnated with this stuff. But I mean, it comes ready to go.

7:24 Drew Charge extra charge, spray it down. Spray it down.

7:27 Adam Okay, I'm gonna work. The point is, is this stuff goes up.

7:29 Drew It's not to transport it all together.

7:30 Adam First light, first match, guaranteed. First match, pow, goes right up.

7:35 Drew Then you have the kinds that won't, can't be blown out.

7:38 Adam Yeah, yeah, the novelty ones. Burning in there, signs, good slogans too. You know, none of this, like when you guys call us dogs, they don't realize that it's not such a bad thing. You know, we got Randy Jackson from American Idle Call and everyone, dog. It's no big thing. You call us dogs. We'll give you some good, I'll come up with some slogans that really cut. You know what I mean?

8:02 Drew You're a career set for you now. You got it.

8:04 Adam Head over to Iraq, start selling these things. Parties coming up. You know, we got CNNs in town. They're gonna film something. You guys wanna take this street. This is your headquarters. This is a Bush effigy headquarters. Burn it down, get Michael Moore. Here's, you can get like a, get like a, Michael, what the hell is Sheen? What's the older Sheen? Martin Sheen, get one of him. You put, Drew, do you have to punctuate every movement with a hand slam?

8:31 Drew I was agreeing with your funny. Oh, thank you.

8:33 Adam You must have been a judge. You know what? And you know what you were? You were probably like a hanging judge in a past life. Like, you're something, like you must have had a gavel or something. You used to like to say, I agree, but okay, order.

8:45 Drew Yeah, it's probably in the Federalist.

8:49 Adam The Congress. We'll do like a Whoopi Goldberg. We'll do all the American traders. We'll put them out there. You can, again, put them on your roof. You dress the place up. Put them, you can do it as like a house guest. You do that thing where you just put them at the table with you while you guys eat your sand or whatever you guys eat over there. Fantastic. All right, Drew, I gotta get busy with this.

9:09 Drew Yeah, you better go.

9:09 Adam You gonna handle the rest of the show?

9:10 Caller All right.

9:12 Drew Be careful, someone may have heard this and gotten ahead of you.

9:14 Adam Do they have money over there, by the way? Do they got anything?

9:17 Drew Some unit of exchange, I'm sure, oil.

9:19 Adam I can get something out of them. All right, let's get to the phones and speak to, how much work do you think it would take to get one of those big plastic fat sands to look like Michael Moore? I mean, to just put the glasses on, trim the beard out a little, put like a blazer on him.

9:37 Drew Just paint it out differently.

9:38 Adam Yeah. You know the thing about Michael Moore? Let me tell you something. Let me tell you, let me just give a tip to all super goofy guys out there, because Michael Moore is a super goofy guy. And he makes good films, but he's a super goofy guy. And I've realized, do you want to know what the one, and women know goofy guys, and they don't want to have sex with them. It's instinctual. They don't want their goofy jeans passed on. They want the jock jeans. They want the conqueror jeans. They want the head of the, they want the big man on campus jeans passed on. Not the goofy guy jeans. But how do you tell? You know, I mean, there's some guys, they're sort of the same size. You know, like they're, they're not big. It's kind of hard to tell who's goofy and who's not sometimes. Watch them walk. Goofy guys, feet point out when they walk. Watch Michael Moore walk. He walks. He's got, he's got one foot pointing toward Medina, the other is going to Mecca. I mean, it's like he walks with his feet further, further out than a head. It's like, you know, if 90 is just plain strata straight out and, you know, zero straight ahead, he's passed 45 degrees with his feet. He walks like crazy. And then I started realizing most guys that are bad at sports are just goofy guys. They walk goofy.

10:51 Drew Well, you wonder if that is a lack of athletic training creates some of them over years and athletic guys.

10:56 Adam They're sort of they walk gracefully and it's not much effort, but their feet are always pointing forward and they're a little bit. They're a little bit on the balls of their feet. I'm just saying goofy dudes, take your feet, ratchet them in a little, go ahead and face them the direction you're going. By the way, it's not like your feet are going. You know that you're pointing one foot to the right, the other foot to the left, the body's going straight. It's got to be like. It equalizes out. It equalizes out, but it's like saying, it's like saying I got a car with a bad wheel that pulls to the right. So instead of fix it, I'll go get the one to the left to pull the left. And that way I'll plow forward. Point the feet straight, everybody. Goofy dudes, straighten out the feet. You'll get light. Yes, Drew? I'm telling you.

11:40 Drew Still got them jeans.

11:41 Adam But you know what I'm talking about with the goofy guy? Feed out.

11:44 Drew The question though, here's the question. If you're a goofy guy, do you go with the goof? Like Michael Moore does, you try to.

11:49 Adam Well, he's embraced his goof.

11:51 Drew Yeah, do you embrace it or do you try to tune it up a little bit?

11:52 Adam No, he can get laid. It doesn't matter. It's just like, you know, whatever. He's a filmmaker.

11:56 Drew But what do you do as a goofy guy? You tune it up?

11:59 Adam Is a goofy guy.

11:59 Drew I go for goof.

12:00 Adam If the goofy.

12:01 Drew Just walk straight and forget about the rest?

12:02 Adam Well, listen, if you're a goofy guy who half of Hollywood is in love with, you don't have to straighten your feet out. If you're a goofy guy and you're, you know, working at the Starbucks like Chris' brother, you've got to straighten those feet out.

12:16 Drew Not a goofy guy.

12:17 Adam I'm not saying.

12:18 Drew If you were.

12:18 Adam He's a goofy guy. I'm just saying if you got his gig and you're goofy.

12:21 Drew You gotta. The guy Chris was meeting with to go over his schedule.

12:25 Caller Goofy guy, goofy guy.

12:26 Drew All right.

12:27 Adam You gotta take those feet, goofy guys, and straighten it up. And listen, everybody, take a look at yourself. Let's walk, take a little walk. Take a look in the mirror when you walk. See those feet don't go in all goofy directions. Straighten them out. Smooth it out.

12:39 Caller Know what I'm saying?

12:40 Adam Let's go. Let's go, guys. Let's break it down. I'm trying to help you. How much of that, Drew? What do you think women think of that when they see that goofy foot walking?

12:50 Drew If they assess it, it's not a conscious assessment.

12:52 Adam But. But.

12:53 Drew It becomes part of the tally. It's part of the tally.

12:55 Adam If I could put a probe in them, the vagina would dry up like an ashtray.

13:00 Drew Interesting. I was thinking about.

13:01 Adam Think about it.

13:03 Drew How the vagina reacts today.

13:04 Adam Boom.

13:04 Drew In my What Nature Wants book that I'm gonna read.

13:06 Adam Tries up like a sand ashtray. I wanna talk to you about that.

13:09 Drew I wanna talk to you about all the different things that should be in that book.

13:12 Adam Like an ashtray.

13:14 Drew What nature wants.

13:15 Adam Vanessa?

13:16 Yeah.

13:17 Adam You're 16?

13:18 Caller Yeah.

13:19 Adam What's happening?

13:20 Nothing much. I had a boyfriend and I had sex with him when I was 16. Well, yeah. And I was on my period and I was just wondering, does that mean like, can I get pregnant? If I have my period?

13:33 Adam No.

13:33 Drew Yes.

13:34 Adam Not really.

13:35 Drew It means you can't. It's not, you're likely.

13:37 Adam Technically possible.

13:38 Drew You had, you had sex during your period?

13:41 Adam Yeah.

13:42 Drew Yeah. You can. It'd be a good idea to take, that's pretty good for the virgin.

13:46 Adam How old, how old? She was a virgin, right?

13:48 Yeah.

13:49 Drew And he was too or no?

13:50 Yeah, we both were.

13:51 Drew Yeah.

13:52 Adam That's a baptism by fire. Or whatever. You know what I mean?

13:57 Drew Or baptism by.

14:01 Adam I'm just, I'm just saying it's like, yeah, I've only, you know, I've only, I've only driven in one car in my life and it was a funny car.

14:12 Drew It was a jet.

14:13 Adam Yeah, it was like a top fuel car. Like, wow, never been in a pinto, huh?

14:17 Drew Okay, here's the deal. You should have taken the morning after pill. It'd still be a good idea. When did this happen?

14:22 Caller This happened about a week ago.

14:24 Drew All right, so it's too late to do that now. Just take your pregnancy test in about a week and say your prayers.

14:28 Adam Yeah, you'll be fine. You should be fine. I don't know what percentage of women can get pregnant on their period. I don't know if anyone knows. And what Drew's gonna say is it may, it's not necessarily your period for sure.

14:41 Drew No, what I'm gonna say is some, it's not as though there's a woman that could get pregnant during her period each time. Any woman randomly may become able to be pregnant.

14:51 Adam Really?

14:52 Drew Random eggs get released.

14:54 Adam Really? All right, baby doll. Hey, I just want to tell all the kids, by the way. Crankyankers, hey. Forgot about that, Crankyankers. Crankyankers, Crankyankers. New season in this, I think Ludacris is doing a call for us tonight, but new season of Crankyankers coming on tonight on Comedy Central, my favorite show. All right, let's speak to Dustin.

15:20 Drew 19.

15:21 Adam Dustin is 19. Dustin?

15:24 Drew I'm here.

15:24 Adam What's happening?

15:26 Caller Freaking, I've been dating this girl now for like two years and we dated back in high school and just recently her parents like walked in on us, having sex.

15:35 Drew That's good times.

15:36 Adam What position?

15:37 What?

15:38 Adam What position?

15:39 Caller What do you mean what condition?

15:42 Adam What position you retire?

15:43 Caller Like we were going at it like full blown.

15:45 Yeah.

15:46 Caller And like we looked up.

15:49 Adam All right, now this could be bogus because he's rehearsed.

15:54 Drew Yes. He can't even stop to entertain the question.

15:59 Adam No, because he's worked it over his head a few times. He's gone over it.

16:04 Drew That's not a question you're supposed to ask me.

16:05 Adam He's hit.

16:06 Drew Therefore I'm going to go forge on.

16:08 Adam Yeah. I've hit the beat. He's got a few beats to hit and he's forging ahead. Well, folks are mad at them once another solution. And by the way, non-question, the solution. Well, you get her some flowers.

16:25 Drew Take the mom out to dinner.

16:26 Adam And you get him a box of cigars and all's forgiven. Non-question. Dustin. I'm labeling this call bogus.

16:35 Caller Why?

16:36 Adam Because you're not listening. You have no real question.

16:40 Caller No, I really do have a question.

16:41 Adam No real answer. But this never happened.

16:44 Caller No, I really do have a question.

16:45 Drew What's the question?

16:46 Caller I want to like end this, cause my family and her family, they're really close. But right now, I'm not allowed to talk to them. They're not allowed to talk to me. And I don't know what to do, because I want to go up there. But the thing is, my parents say I go up there. They're not going to pay for college. Her parents say she tries to contact me. She loses college too. And it's like, like they're throwing that at us saying, we can't see each other anymore. And I don't know what to do. I mean, I don't like my parents knowing that.

17:07 Drew You just said you wanted to end this.

17:10 Caller You said you want to end it, right?

17:11 Drew Well, they ended it for you.

17:12 Adam Well, end it. Yeah, you got a good experience.

17:14 Drew They ended it for you.

17:15 Caller It's not great.

17:17 Adam Well, I mean, you want to end the relationship.

17:19 Drew What's the question then?

17:20 Caller No, I don't want out of the relationship. I want to end it in a way to where like, at least we can talk to each other. Cause she tried to talk to me, but I always have to tell her, no, we can't talk. If we talk, we're screwed. And she tells me that too.

17:34 Adam You want out of the relationship.

17:36 Caller I don't want out of the relationship. I want out of the fact that we can't talk to each other. We can't see each other. We can't do, then there's nothing we can do about it. I mean, we're both adults, but it's kind of like, our parents are throwing like our future at our face.

17:48 Drew So you want to get out from under the family's sort of leverage they're pulling.

17:55 Caller Yeah, I want to, I don't want their hand in my life, but so much, I've allowed so much of them to be in my life that I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say.

18:03 Adam All right, well, wait a second. Are you in love with this girl?

18:06 Caller I love that girl more than anything in my whole entire life. And you know what? I would be willing to throw away college. I'd be willing to throw away everything, but.

18:15 Adam Well, why do your parents care if you date her?

18:18 Caller Because they said that they're worried that we're going to ruin our lives. Like when I have a child, when she has a child, like what would we do? And that's what they keep throwing in our face.

18:26 Drew How about the appropriate thing then to take you to get some birth control?

18:30 Caller And that's what we were doing. I mean, we did, we did.

18:32 Drew You can't have a child if you can't have a child.

18:34 Adam Something's missing, by the way, from this story, which is you're not allowed to have, at 19, you're not just gonna bang other chicks at college. What are they talking about?

18:46 Caller That's the point that I don't understand why it's such a big deal.

18:49 Adam Well, there's something missing. First off, do your parents have some sort of kooky religion?

18:54 Caller They do. They go to the Church of Christ.

18:58 Caller Yeah.

18:59 Drew What's that, Mormon?

19:01 Caller I don't know.

19:01 Adam I don't know what that is.

19:03 Drew It's a...

19:04 Adam Are churches the Church of Christ?

19:06 Caller No, the Church of Christ is an offspring of the LDS Church.

19:10 Caller Oh, okay.

19:10 Adam Because I go to the Beelzebub Church. You go to the Church of Christ. All right, so they don't believe in any of that premarital fornication?

19:19 Caller No.

19:20 Adam Okay, here's the thing.

19:23 Drew There's still a lot missing here.

19:24 Adam There's a lot missing, but the wacky religion sort of clears things up. Again, please, ladies and gentlemen, can we start looking at these nutballs with their wacky religious beliefs as mental disorders, like they should be looked at instead of respected and revered.

19:41 Drew Oh, but this is not wacky religious belief. This is just somebody with certain kind of values that are forced on their kid.

19:46 Adam I'm sure the parents got their own wacky religious belief. I'm just please, please asking as a society, please let's stop being so respectful of these nut jobs. And by the way, they have zero respect for you and your agnostic or your atheist beliefs or whatever they might be. Why should we keep respecting these nut jobs praying to their retarded made up cartoons in the sky? Let's just start verbally abusing them again, I'm gonna shut the F up. Thank you. Now anyway, what Dustin needs to do is Dustin needs to make a choice. And then just like all you need to make a choice, which is when you put your hand out, when you say to somebody, look, pay for college or just pay me or whatever it is.

20:28 Drew You gotta live the way they tell you.

20:29 Adam The person who's putting the money in your hand gets to say, yeah, I'll do that, take the garbage out. I'll do that, go to school, go to this school, go to that school, do whatever. Hopefully you guys can find a balance. It's just like in life, it's like, hopefully you find a job that you kinda like and you have a boss that you kinda like and whatever. But when you say, hey, give me money or take care of me or give me a car or whatever it is, you're giving the other person a right to say, first do this. And hopefully it's not shoot a snuff film or put some tar on a roof.

21:00 Drew Even worse. He can take out college loans. He can take out a job. He can try to pay for college on his own.

21:04 Adam He can do what millions and millions and millions of people before him have done, which is go to college without any help from anybody.

21:11 Drew That doesn't mean that the girl will be able to do that and they still won't be able to contact her. I don't understand what his plan is. So if they are, it's like Romeo and Juliet, they are so hell bent on getting together, they will.

21:21 Adam Yeah, it's more like a retardio and Juliet because Dustin's not too sharp.

21:26 Drew So you know what I'm saying? They will get together.

21:27 How can they stop?

21:28 Drew They're both in college. How can they monitor what they're doing?

21:30 They're both in college.

21:31 Adam Yes. So you decide and do whatever you want. But here's the thing, everybody, you can't resent your parents, although you do anyway, and you can't help it. But when they tell you, look, I'm going to pay for everything, then they have the right to tell you what else you're going to do. And it's sad that they try to control your social life this way and all that. But if you really want to clear this problem up, you get a job, you move out of the house.

21:54 Drew Isn't it true of every human relation where somebody's incumbent upon another person, they start to resent them? You know what I mean? Whenever your parents are going to go, hey, America takes care of other country, we're their best customer, they start resenting us. Oh, of course. You know, really, the way you deal with that is.

22:08 Adam That's why the rest of the world hates this country.

22:10 Drew But you really have to be prepared.

22:11 Adam They're too inept to take care of themselves, so we bail them out and they're angry.

22:14 Drew You have to be prepared interpersonally to go, oh, you don't want this? Okay, that's it. No, no, no, no, that's fine. Bye, goodbye, enjoy, enjoy. And you gotta mean it. And that's it. That is the way you deal with that. And you know what? Order of the court. People will be happy coming back and creating another more mutual relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.

22:38 Adam There's a certain dignity in that too, especially for a fella to say, well, I guess I have to put college off for a couple semesters and get a job.

22:45 Drew And by the way, it could be a very important experience for somebody to do. But they may need to do that.

22:49 Adam Let's put it this way. 10 years from now, I would rather hang out with the guy who said to his parents, sorry, I love this woman. Sorry, that doesn't bode with your religious sensibilities. And I'm gonna have to put college off for a year or so, but I'm gonna go to work. I'm gonna save some money. I'm gonna apply for some loans. I'm gonna date her and I'll go to college. I'd rather hang out with that guy in life than the guy who kisses his parents ass.

23:14 Drew Right, but that same guy could try it, it not work out and go, you know what? I need to make it all the way through graduate school. I have these particular plans. All right, I'm back. I'm back, I made some choices and I need you.

23:23 Adam Did your parents tell you what to do, Drew, when they were paying for your college?

23:27 Drew No, not by that point. I was so too broken by that. There was no chance.

23:34 Adam You'd already had the Stockholm Syndrome.

23:36 Drew Oh yeah.

23:36 Adam Where you just, they knew you weren't leaving. They didn't have to chain you up at night.

23:39 Drew Oh yeah.

23:40 Adam You're just.

23:41 Drew It was just Patty Hearst.

23:42 Adam Yeah, you weren't going anywhere. Yeah, I love that. Oh, you know, I think, I always think about that.

23:49 Caller I was, oh, Drew.

23:51 Drew What?

23:53 Adam I was watching TV right before I, right before I came here.

23:56 Drew They were supposed to be here doing the best of?

23:58 Caller Yeah, yeah, okay.

23:59 Adam Yeah, right, right here. And I was watching TV and I was, I was watching a thing on Richard Speck, the guy who went in and killed all those nurses like in the 60s. He wanted some sort of nursing compound and just killed like nine nurses. And one of them, one of them rolled under a bed and hid early. Well, he took each and every other one of them, he had them all tied up, except for the one that was hiding under the bed, took them each individually into the next room, stabbed them to death, and then came in and got the next one, took the whole evening to do, the one hid under the bed paralyzed. Now, she could have hopped out at any moment after he'd taken the other ones into the room to kill him and ran out and screamed for some help, maybe save three or four of them, maybe five or six of them, whatever. But she didn't. Now, I'm not blaming her. I'm just saying, it's interesting how people react. Later on, by the way, this guy, and she didn't come out until the following morning, by the way.

24:57 Drew She was traumatized.

24:58 Adam And then I thought nursing students, and I thought all nurses are nuts, and she was traumatized at some other time. And that's why, literally, the guy did his damage at 10 o'clock at night from like 10 to midnight. She came out at nine the next morning kind of thing. And then I thought trauma survivor, and I thought nursing student. And then I started thinking about Richard Speck and realized that he was, then she convicted him. She was all the evidence they needed in 1967. And he got convicted in June of 67. And the judge was like, well, we'll see in the electric chair in September. Two months later, we'll see in the, and then something happened, and there was this, there was that, there, and then I fast forward in my mind to the videotape of him when he was in the joint just before he died 25 years later. Breast implants, doing coke, having parties with guys. And I thought, really? Really all you anti-death penalty pussies out there? This is it? This guy can systematically just take nurses into a room, stab them, kill them, the girls in their late teens, early twenties. And he gets 20 years of boob jobs, doing blow, sucking off inmates, having a good time. I mean, you know, whatever he's doing inside, it's a party for him. That's what he gets to do. You had him in the chair, you were this close to having him in the chair, 25 years ago and this is what? Taxpayers will just pay for this guy to do this? Really? That's what we want? That's our plan? That's justice? That's justice? Guys got, guys on estrogen and doing a coke off the ass of some prisoner. That's really, that all worked out for everybody? That's how, that's how it's supposed to be? Is that what we're all planning on? And what about the families of the nine nurses? Ever got that? That's what they want? That's what they have in mind? That's what they deserve? Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. All right. Let's take a little break, Drew. I know you have thoughts, but we got to take a break. We'll be back after this.

26:52 Loveline, will be right back.

26:55 Loveline is brought to you by Harold and Kamar. Go to White Castle in theaters this Friday, July 23rd for a special advanced sneak preview.

27:10 Adam Hey, everybody. Loveline and Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-1-91. All right there, buddy. So I was going nuts on Richard Speck, the serial killer, killed all his nurses in the 60s, and then became a sex toy in the joint. They had videotape of it and was just doing blow and all that kind of stuff. And the thing, we're so close to killing the guy. It was supposed to, it was just open and shut case. He should have been dead in 67. We kept him around for 25 years and paid for him in the joint. And here's all, here's, here's all I'm saying. The death penalty. I'm not, not a huge fan of it. I don't, I don't think it needs to be done for the guy who gets drunk and stabs the guy who's effing his wife kind of thing. Those crimes of passion and that kind of stuff. The guy who systematically tortures and kills nine women, average age 20 and four months. Let me go ahead and put him down. That's it. We'll just weigh it out. I don't understand, I don't understand why everyone wouldn't, wouldn't just agree with that. But and by the way, a guy who thinks it's a good idea to put down nine women and who has that rolling around his head, sees that picture every time he closes his eyes. Believe me, he wants to be put down. You're doing him a favor. You really are like a dog with dysplasia. Barely stand up. You put him down. You're doing, doing the right thing. Know what I'm saying?

28:42 Drew Interesting.

28:43 Adam And it's not up to them anymore. Guess what? You killed nine people. You lost your vote. That's all. Can't vote. We don't get a vote on this one either. Let's put you down. Move on. Drew, you got some ideas?

28:54 Drew No. I tend to agree with you a little bit on this. It's tough stuff. But yeah.

28:58 Adam Yeah. It's not that tough. You killed nine nurses. And imagine, imagine the families of these people.

29:04 Drew Oh, please.

29:05 Caller Let's just put them down. That's all.

29:08 Adam And by the way, it's not like a choice between us putting you down and you getting back to the lab to do your stem cell research. You're just going to basically slide into a box and rot for about 22 years. If you're lucky, you'll play a little handball. Maybe it'll put you to work in the laundry. You know what I'm saying? What are you doing? Here, we'll feed you some slop. And let me tell you something. I've been to prison. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Kimmel and I went to prison.

29:34 Caller Yeah.

29:35 Adam And we didn't, you know, we didn't go to jail. We didn't go to a drunk tank. We went to prison.

29:39 Caller Yeah.

29:39 Adam And we went in with the lifers. And those guys, food, by the way, ho, ho, wow. Jesus Christ. I mean, I'm a product of the LA. Unified School District. I didn't think the food could get any worse.

29:52 Drew Oh, really?

29:53 Adam Like, like here's what I figured.

29:54 Drew I'm impressed.

29:54 Adam I used to look at the food. I used to, I used to be on the food stamp thing, you know, to get a little card for the loser kids. Sure, sure. They'd slide you over the tray of a slop. I used to think the only way the school food could get any worse is if the principal actually just squatted over the trash and just dropped the load right, right on, right between the buns here, like it couldn't physically, couldn't make food, institutional food, could not know. Prison food? Worse. They figured out a way. They figured out a way to make it worse.

30:23 Caller I mean, it is bad.

30:25 Adam And these guys are miserable. Yeah, that's good times. All right. What are we doing here, Drew? Let me tell you something too, Drew.

30:33 Drew Please.

30:33 Adam I go to the joint.

30:34 Drew Yeah.

30:35 Adam I want to go to San Quentin.

30:37 Drew It's a little more colorful.

30:38 Adam I want to head out to the Bay Area. Get the wind blowing. Let me tell you something about San Quentin. San Quentin, that's where Ransom is. San Quentin, San Quentin, if there wasn't a prison there would be some of the most prime real estate in North America. If there wasn't a prison where San Quentin Prison is in Northern California, they could build a championship golf course there and some condos be worth into the billions. Easily. Or, you could head out toward Edwards Air Force Base out here and just stay at the one in the desert. You're just sitting in a big ashtray, dust blowing everywhere, crows sitting around. I mean, it's really ominous. Just crows on the front. Just dust and dirt everywhere. See, that prison, that would suck. San Quentin, it's like, hey, you got a big rock house by the beach. They're sort of looking at it that way. Seriously, Bay Area.

31:32 Drew I've seen that, but it's beautiful.

31:35 Adam You could do worse. And by the way, should Manson be in the good one?

31:38 You're breathing the fresh sea air.

31:41 Adam It's a hell of a lot closer to the beach than we are. You know what I'm saying? Do you realize the air that Manson breathes is better than our air?

31:50 Drew There's no secondhand smoke.

31:52 Adam Oh, yeah. He's going to live forever. No, seriously, we got a particle problem here in LA right? Manson, his air?

32:00 Drew Perfect. Pristine.

32:00 Adam Not twice as good as the stuff your kids are taking in, Drew. Probably into the 10 to 20 times better. And the climate? Better. View out the window? Hell of a lot better than yours. All right?

32:11 Drew Yeah.

32:13 Adam Can't send her to the crappy one? Got to go to the good one.

32:16 Drew Kat.

32:17 Adam Kat?

32:18 Drew What's going on?

32:20 Adam Hi. What's happening? Oh, man, I got to get some of that Manson air. Drew, we should bottle the Manson air. It's great. Beautiful San Quentin Bay area air.

32:31 Caller Bring it in.

32:32 Drew Kat, what's going on?

32:34 Caller Do you want me to tell you my story?

32:36 Drew Please.

32:39 Caller I got drunk for my birthday on my 15th birthday, and my sister's boyfriend's brother was there.

32:46 Drew Uh-huh.

32:46 Caller Because we're friends. And we had sex, and he said that he wanted to be with me.

32:52 Like girlfriend and boyfriend.

32:55 Caller And I'm like, okay, you know, I say yes. And the next day, he just starts cussing at me and everything, and just going off on me for no apparent reason.

33:05 Drew But he said, he told you he wanted to be the boyfriend before you had sex?

33:09 Caller Yes.

33:10 Adam Yeah.

33:11 Drew Well, the guys will say anything to have sex.

33:13 Adam Yeah.

33:13 Drew Anything.

33:15 Adam Drew told a chick he was going to buy her a houseboat once.

33:18 Caller Yeah.

33:18 Adam So she'd get in her pants.

33:19 Drew Well, actually, I actually bought the houseboat.

33:21 Adam Oh, you did?

33:22 Drew But it's, the guys really, they, they, they can be awful with that kind of nonsense.

33:28 Caller They really hurt me. So my sister talked to him when he went down because he lives on the mountain. He came downtown. Well, my sister...

33:40 Adam I bet his hair is better than Manson's hair.

33:42 Drew Yeah. Better than Kat's.

33:44 Caller Coming down from the mountain.

33:45 Drew To the downtown.

33:47 Adam I picture him like...

33:48 Drew I just think of the Unabomber. I'm just imagining.

33:50 Adam Oh, really? I was picturing more Jeremiah Johnson.

33:53 Drew Yeah.

33:54 Adam Guy with buckskin. How old is the guy? Carrying a gun. Drinking out of a boat of sack.

33:59 Drew He may not have a birthday. They may not know.

34:01 Adam They don't know. They don't have records. No. No. I don't know if he's even a youngin anymore.

34:08 Drew How old is he?

34:09 Adam He's 15.

34:10 Drew 15.

34:11 Adam 15. Alright.

34:12 Drew And he came down to the city.

34:14 Caller Yeah.

34:14 Drew Your sister talked to him.

34:16 Caller Yeah.

34:16 Drew And what happened?

34:17 Caller And he apologized to me and asked me out. And I told him I'd think about it. And I don't know what to do.

34:26 Drew Well, no harm a good. Do you like him?

34:29 Caller And I've owned him for a long time.

34:33 Adam Well, listen. When does he have to head back up to the mountain?

34:36 Caller Like a couple days ago.

34:39 Drew He left.

34:39 Adam Oh, okay. So like when bear hunting season opens up, let's go get some meat for the winter? Elk. Elk. Okay. They got to get some, like, caribou and start drying the meat.

34:51 Drew How often could you see him?

34:53 Caller I get to see him every weekend.

34:54 Drew Every weekend when he comes down with your sister's boyfriend?

34:57 Caller No, my sister's boyfriend lives here and he lives up on the mountain.

35:03 Adam Why did he just start cussing at you for no good reason?

35:07 Caller Well, he was drunk and everything, but it really, it still upsets, it's saddening me.

35:13 Adam I understand. I don't trust this guy.

35:15 Drew He does not sound like a good guy to me.

35:17 Adam How about you find a guy from a valley, shake it up a little.

35:21 Caller The guy that I go out with is usually a one night stand, and this last guy that I went out with, I never had sex with him, all I did was make out with him and he...

35:31 Adam Hey, hey, hey, cat, cat, cat.

35:33 Drew Stop with the sex cat.

35:34 Adam Listen to me. Would you please listen to me for one second? Please, please, please, I'm a genius, or at least a relative genius compared to your 15 year old ass. So listen to me. Okay. You, you got something right now that seems like a gift, which is a vagina, that's all guys want. And you realize that guys want me. I'm cute. I'm, or I'm at least I'm not fat. I'm, I live at the bottom of the mountain and S rolls downhill. And everyone wants me. And that's where I'm going to be about for about the next 10 years. Meanwhile, you're not getting educated. You're not learning anything. You're not discovering yourself only who you are to these guys that want to have sex with you. And every decision becomes about, should I date this guy, how to treat me?

36:20 Drew And to them, you're just an object. You're not even a full person.

36:22 Adam Yeah, even if you do find one that treats you right, that's not who you got to be. Who are you? I mean, you need to be a student. You're 15. You need to learn something.

36:32 Drew Right. You need to develop yourself.

36:33 Adam You need to develop your personality, not your personality and how, not your sexuality, your personality, not what guys think of you. What society thinks of you.

36:43 Drew Who you are.

36:44 Adam Who you are. Yes. Do not get caught up in this. I really worry about it and I don't know how they can avoid it, but so many women, especially the cute ones, and that's why, I swear to Christ, you're better off just having a fat troll for a daughter who can get on with her life and start developing a personality and education and blah, blah, blah. Especially when you come from, when I'm picturing cat coming from, I'm picturing a house with like mud between logs kind of thing and a door with leather hinges. That's what I'm picturing, by the way. They just realize like whatever guy thinks of me is who I am. That's all I'll ever be. And by the way, these are the women I ended up talking to in 10 years and they weren't sure who fought in World War II. They don't know anything. They just, everything's on hold. It's all about who wants to have sex with me? How can I present to guys? What does he think of me? What's he doing to me that's wrong? Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Go to school. Learn something. Go to college. Learn something. Or just get a hobby.

37:47 Drew Start playing the guitar. But she is going to still have relationships, no doubt. So here's how to best conduct those. No sex. Two-year moratorium on sex. Stop that.

37:57 Adam Are you kidding?

37:58 Drew And just date guys.

37:59 Adam Two days is the over under.

38:01 Drew And be very picky. And don't get a boyfriend. Just date and then work on yourself, as Adam suggests. Anything else in that is going to be distracting?

38:09 Adam Let me tell you what picky to cat is. Only dating guys with rope belts, not rope suspenders. No more of them.

38:16 Drew Well, we brought it out to the valley, guys. Here we go.

38:19 Adam All right. All right. Let's take a break.

38:20 Drew All right.

38:21 Adam Break it down. We got a Germany or Florida coming up.

38:23 Drew Want to do it quickly?

38:24 Adam Quickly. All right.

38:25 Drew Here we go.

38:25 Adam Quickly. Costya?

38:29 Drew Costya.

38:30 Adam All right. Hey, wait a minute. There's a fighter called Costya Zoo.

38:35 Caller Oh, I heard about him. Yeah.

38:36 Adam You ever heard of him? I have.

38:37 Caller He doesn't pronounce it.

38:39 Adam He doesn't pronounce it Costya Zoo. It's Costya Zoo.

38:42 Caller Really?

38:42 Drew What kind of name is that?

38:44 Caller It's Russian from Greek.

38:48 Drew Go.

38:49 Caller So, law enforcement officials are mystified by bizarre new local pastime. Young people dangling themselves from meat hooks on a popular sandbar. Locals say the wild behavior is becoming a tradition. Police found that five young people had erected a bamboo tripod and hung meat hooks from it. A young woman, her feet brushing the surface of the shallow water, dangled from the frame, hooks embedded firmly in her shoulders. A police, sorry, edited this story.

39:23 Drew I don't know how many sandbars are in Germany, but I don't think there are too many. So let's go with Florida.

39:28 Adam We're going Florida.

39:30 Drew And police too. What?

39:32 Caller There's beaches in Germany.

39:34 Adam I don't know they have sandbars. You never hear about sandbars. How many beaches? Do they have a lot of beach?

39:39 Caller They have meat hooks, though. I mean, that's clearly Germanic.

39:44 Adam We're still going. We're going Florida.

39:45 Drew No, the meat hook thing is sort of a North American Indian thing. The Cherokee and stuff.

39:49 Adam We're going Florida.

39:50 Caller Yeah, well, they see they're part of...

39:52 Adam All right, it's Florida. Whatever.

39:54 Caller Also, I heard the story earlier at Kimmel.

39:57 Adam I mean, is Germany a big sandbar area?

39:59 Caller No.

40:00 Adam No.

40:01 Drew Is there ocean access?

40:02 Adam I'm trying to think. I'm trying to picture a...

40:05 Drew Maybe up north.

40:06 Adam What's... If Germany's landlocked or not. They got like a Rhine and stuff. What...

40:11 Drew Must be some access up north.

40:13 Adam Let's take a look at a map. Let's go take a look at Germany.

40:16 Drew We can't. Yeah, we got to do the best of, Chris, map of Europe.

40:19 Adam Chris, have you heard of Germany? I know they don't let you talk about other countries.

40:23 Drew Where is that?

40:24 Adam Junior college. It's in Canada. No way. I'm telling you.

40:28 Drew That's cool.

40:29 Adam Get on like MapQuest or something and find us a picture of Germany. Let's try to figure out how much ocean is around it, if any.

40:36 Drew When you learn about it, what were these people doing? What was the nature of this region?

40:40 Adam They're just hanging themselves from hooks. People have done that for a long time.

40:44 Drew It's a North American Indian thing.

40:45 Adam It is?

40:45 Drew It is. Yeah.

40:46 Adam That's all right. That's a good time. Take a quick break. We'll be right back.

40:50 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

40:56 Adam What are women most attracted to?

40:58 Drew Confident guys.

40:59 Adam That's right. You can't buy that confidence. At least you couldn't until now.

41:02 Drew What do we got?

41:03 Adam You got Axe, Deodorant, Body Spray. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Flow number 1-800-LOB-191. Hi there, buddy boy. What's happening there, Drew?

41:31 Drew Those of you that heard just sort of saying something like this, this is actually the show.

41:36 Adam Yeah, we're now doing the show. We were taping some best ofs, and the way we, well, maybe people should, maybe we should clue people into the whole best of thing. Of course. Here's what happens. Engineer Anderson goes ahead and picks the best of stuff. He takes some good names, some good guests, some good people, some, you know, if there's a good show, he marks it down. It's about once every 18 months. He gives us a check by show.

42:06 Drew Part of a show.

42:07 Adam And we get a good guest in here, and then he makes a segment out of it, and we have to do a little pre-taped thing to set up the segment. See what I'm saying? And we got to record those. And tonight is the night we do that.

42:20 Drew Right, and we usually do that before the shows, but Adam didn't show up before the shows, so we did during the commercial breaks.

42:25 Adam Right.

42:26 Drew Except Anderson left the mics on, so people who were not hearing commercials, people who were hearing public service announcements might have heard our voices over those public service announcements.

42:36 Adam But I didn't use the F word.

42:38 Drew For a change.

42:39 Adam Or the N word. Well, that's surprising.

42:41 Drew That's five minutes without.

42:43 Adam I didn't complain, and I didn't do anything. I was all business. All right. You ready to rock here, Drew? Let's talk to Kristen, who's 21. Kristen.

42:54 Yes.

42:54 Adam What's happening?

42:56 Well, I was dating a guy for two years. And I decided to move in with him, finally against my wishes. But he was talking about getting serious, and he wouldn't marry me until I moved in with him. Anyway, his cousin decided to move in with him before I got there. And she kind of took over my heart, I guess you could say. She replaced all my pictures with hers.

43:23 Drew She didn't say fart, Adam. She said art.

43:26 Heart.

43:26 Adam I thought part or heart.

43:28 Drew Heart.

43:29 Heart with P.

43:30 Adam Part. Part.

43:31 Her role.

43:32 Drew Her role at the house.

43:35 Adam That's his cousin. Moved in with him.

43:42 Yeah.

43:43 Drew A female.

43:44 A female, 22.

43:46 Adam Replace the pictures of him and you with pictures of he and she.

43:53 Him and her.

43:54 Drew That's weird.

43:56 Adam All right.

43:57 Caller Weird, I know.

43:59 And then start picking out his clothes.

44:02 Drew All right, what's the question? We get the picture.

44:06 So I was wondering if this is just, we eventually broke up because he decided that we shouldn't be together anymore because she doesn't want us together anymore. Was that just because he was freaking out from the marriage thoughts or was it-

44:20 Drew No, we don't know. Come on, it could be a million things, Kristen.

44:22 Adam Because he was freaking out because of the marriage? Let me explain something. Ladies, please.

44:29 Drew Guys that want to get on out.

44:30 Adam Guys and ladies. But especially ladies. Like, hey, everything was going great. We're going to get married. We're going to spend the rest of our lives together. And then his meddling cousin moved in. And so please, please.

44:41 Drew He was done with you. And he was looking for a way out, but didn't have the strength to do it by himself or whatever.

44:48 Adam Yeah, it has nothing to do with her.

44:49 Drew Right.

44:50 Caller Oh, unless, unless she wasn't.

44:52 Adam Guys don't give a good, ripe ass about what anyone thinks, if they're really into you.

44:55 Drew Some guys are really bad guys. And this wasn't even the first cousin. This was his new girlfriend or something. I mean, they can be guys BSing.

45:02 Adam I know, I know it makes it easier for you emotionally, just to blame the cousin and make her into a horrible person and all that kind of stuff. I'm sure she's no picnic, but it's really his fault. First off, he could have had to wave us to stand up to her. But secondly, he didn't want to. He wanted out.

45:19 Drew If you want to get married, he would get married.

45:20 Adam Yeah, she didn't brainwash him. He wanted out.

45:24 Drew Maybe it's, you know, here's, I'm developing a theory here.

45:27 Adam I don't know.

45:28 Drew You listen, listen to this. Because guys seem to be so easy. Here's the, listen to me. Hear me out on this.

45:33 Adam I'm listening.

45:34 Drew When a woman is dating a man, they seem so easily manipulatable. At the beginning, it's like, whatever I ask, he does.

45:41 Adam Yes. Yes.

45:42 Drew Therefore, he must relate that to all women. They must be able to manipulate him.

45:47 Adam Right.

45:47 Drew But they don't factor in the reason, what's the reason he'll do anything she asks.

45:51 Adam The F factor?

45:53 Drew The F factor. And that's it, period. He is under a spell. He's not under the spell of all his other women. He's under your spell. Maybe some other ones that he's interested in having sex.

46:03 Adam Well, that's the WF factor. That's a one, two, F. But even then, That's the WFU factor.

46:09 Drew Even then, men will focus, they'll focus their energy, and they seem to be completely compliant with anything you ask of them. No sinister motivation. Absolutely. Are you kidding? No, and by the way, he probably, he could have 50 guys telling him not to do that. No way he's gonna do it. No one can dissuade him from that when he's decided that's where he's going. So the idea that you could have, some cousin could come in and talk about a marriage. No way.

46:39 Adam No way.

46:39 Drew Think about that ladies, come on.

46:41 Adam No way. And then replacing all the pictures with her.

46:45 Drew I mean, think about that. Think how women think men must be given how they behave around them when they want to have sex with them.

46:50 Adam Something's wrong with Kristen's story and I'd like to know what the real story is. Either way he's gone, either way it was his decision, either way you gotta move on. All right, and speaking of moving on, Drew, we'll be right back after this.

47:03 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

47:05 Call the Dateline.

47:06 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:08 Call the Dateline.

47:09 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:10 Call the Dateline.

47:11 Caller 1-877-889-DATE. You know what I'm saying, I'm dead!

47:48 Adam Yeah, caught us up. Let's go. Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew over there.

48:02 Drew Dr. Drew over there.

48:03 Adam Dr. Drew over there.

48:08 Drew Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew over there.

48:09 Adam Dr. Drew over there. About this time in the evening, it cools down to about 71, 72 degrees. Again, this time next year, about this date, what do you think it'll be like outside?

48:26 Drew 71, 72.

48:29 Adam And 10 years from now?

48:30 Drew 71, 72.

48:30 Adam 100 years from now?

48:31 Drew 71, 72.

48:32 Adam 100 years ago?

48:33 Drew 71, 72.

48:34 Adam Right, well guess what? Hawthorne coming in at 72. Chula Vista, 72, Arteza, 72, Banning, 72, Carson, 72. Cerritos, checking in, 72 degrees. Downey coming in, 72 degrees. Thousand Oaks, Belle Gardens, Recita, Cudahy, Kiana, what the hell? I can't even read it. Hawaiian Gardens coming in. What's coming in at Drew? 72 degrees, Belle Gardens, 72. Cronata Hills, 72 degrees. Gardena, 72, DeVore, 72, New Hall coming in, 72. Checking in, Bellflower checking in, 72 degrees.

49:08 Drew Who actually checked in by the way?

49:10 Adam There's people I have over there, the mayor. The mayor of all these cities actually checking in. Hacienda Heights coming in, 72 degrees. Checking in, 72. Traffic's slow and go by the way. Stanton checking in, 72 degrees. Garden Grove, 72.

50:40 Drew I mean, you could tell what the temperature was. No way.

50:42 Adam No. I was close to death once. I was in my car. I had the heater turned all the way up and the defroster going. Windows up. In your parka. I was wearing a scarf. I was wearing like a mask that that guy robbed a bank in. I said, take a full ski mask. A parka I had my hands wear in a muff. I was wearing my muck locks. I was wearing a ski bib overall to kind of use for skiing and extreme mountain climbing. I was actually wearing those those like tennis rackets. They used to go the truck through deep snow, deep powder snow and turns out one hundred and four degrees.

51:24 Drew How would you have known?

51:25 Adam I could have died in that car.

51:26 Drew How would you have known?

51:27 Adam I have no idea how I would have known. But thank Christ for morning radio. And I'll tell you the other thing, too. When they gave me the tip, look out for brake lights. Now when I used to see those lights go on on the back side of a car, I was like a bull. I was like a bull. I saw those lights go on. Pow! My right foot would snap. I would actually just sit there, sit there in the freeway looking for, looking for. I didn't know they were called brake lights at the time.

51:49 Drew Well, even if you knew they were called brake lights, you wouldn't know to watch out for them.

51:52 Adam No, I thought I really, to me, like I said, like a bull.

51:58 Drew When I go charging at it, of course.

52:00 Adam I saw that brake light.

52:01 Drew You see red.

52:02 Adam I literally saw red. I literally would see red and my right foot would just plant the accelerator to the floor.

52:09 Drew And now?

52:10 Adam And again, not being able to react quickly because the middle of July, but again, going out in full parka and ski, hands in a hand warming muff, not being, you know, yack, layers of yack skin on me, you know, just layers of pelt on me in the goddamn car. And again, not knowing to look out for brake lights, just plowing, you know, 80, 90 miles an hour in the back car and continuously. And then I started listening to morning radio and I learned and I learned to look out for brake lights. I learned that sometimes in July, it warms up, you know, but they'll tell you, they tell you and you got to keep listening the next day because things could change dramatically. I mean, you know, you know, July, you know, July out here in Southern California, 103 one day snowing the following morning ice on the road. You got to listen. You got to listen. You got to listen. You got to listen. That's why you got to listen. The other reason you got to listen is to find out what time it is because I used to have to be at work at eight o'clock. I would. I knew it was seven fifty five. But if you ask me how far away that was from eight o'clock, I'd say two, two, two hours, two, three hours.

53:25 Drew I would know what you're talking about.

53:27 Adam Yeah. I would.

53:28 Drew How far from it?

53:29 Adam How far from eight o'clock? Seven fifty five. I don't know. What do I know?

53:32 Drew Eight o'clock. I have to work at eight o'clock.

53:33 Adam What am I? A jet airline pilot? What do I have? Some sort of master's degree in calculus? I possibly know. So they, you know, I would look at the clock, I would say seven fifty five, I'd say, oh, I'm going to crack a beer.

53:46 Drew It's not eight o'clock.

53:47 Adam I'm not moving. I don't have to be worked late. I work a half hour away from here. I got a good three, four hours.

53:53 It turns out I'm still.

53:55 Drew They have to tell me how long it is.

53:56 Adam Turns out I was late.

53:57 Drew Of course.

53:58 Adam It turns out, turns out seven fifty five is five after seven, five away from eight o'clock.

54:04 I only had five minutes.

54:05 Drew You do not know that unless they tell you. You still don't know. They must tell you.

54:08 Adam They must tell you. I had no idea.

54:09 Drew You still have no idea.

54:10 Adam I had no idea.

54:11 Drew You still have no idea.

54:14 Adam How it worked. Right.

54:15 Drew That's right. If they don't tell you, how are you going to know?

54:17 Adam Well, the thing is, is I have a digital clock. So seven fifty five. I don't know where I'm at. You know, if you have a chronograph type clock, you can actually see it coming up.

54:28 Drew Of course.

54:28 Adam See it coming up on the edge.

54:30 Drew Who knows how long it could take to go that distance.

54:32 Adam Thank God these morning show A-holes have entered our lives. Because other than that, again, five day forecast. And then I'll tell you about that time, I start wondering how the Nikkei average is doing. And when I find out that the Dow is up twenty two points and the Nikkei has been dropping in the index for the trading that's been going on in the Fortune 500. I mean, it all starts coming together. And then it turns out later on, because they put the news at the top of the hour. Are you sitting down, Drew? Chris, put the coffee down and brace yourself. Would you buddy hang on the side of the desk? Because let me tell you something. I was listening in the morning. I was in the morning on the way in. I was listening to some news. I heard the traffic. I heard the weather. I learned all this stuff. I learned to look out for brake lights. I learned how long it's going to be slow and go. Out here in Southern California, it turns out a little traffic sometimes on the commute in the morning. What an unknown. What an unknown. You guys sitting down. I was listening to the news. Listen to the news. Apparently, trouble in the Middle East.

55:31 Drew War in Iraq.

55:33 Adam Trouble in the Middle East. There's trouble there.

55:35 Drew Really?

55:35 Adam There's some time. Obviously, those people, something happened. I don't know what happened. There's a little trouble. There's a war. There's some trouble. There's trouble in that region. I guess the good folks aren't getting along so good. Just, I mean, momentarily, I'm sure it would have worked out by the weekend, but the point is is I want to know. I want to know about that. Thank Christ, I was sitting down. I had no idea what was going on in that part of that region of the world. I thought it was just one big maypole. They were all dancing around, holding hands, and wearing the costumes of the different garbs, and embracing each other's cultures and religions. I had no idea that there was some trouble in the Middle East. Again, thank Christ for morning radio. Trouble in the Middle East. Nikkei Average up 22.5. Trouble in the Middle East. Holy Christ, where would we be? Where would we be without this information?

56:24 Drew Speaking of which, I got to go find a map for you.

56:26 Adam Find a map. Turns out in the Middle East, some time once in a while, a guy put like a bomb in a car.

56:33 Drew It blew up. Wild.

56:34 Adam Now, he could have been one of these guys like me, wasn't looking out for brake lights. That's a good theory.

56:39 Drew I don't think he blew up the car.

56:41 Adam I just don't think they have morning radio over there. He was wearing a parka. He floored it when he saw the brake lights. Didn't know what time it was. Didn't know anything. As it turns out, trouble in the Middle East, Chris. Holy Christ. It could have blown me over with a feather. No idea whether there's trouble over there with those people. I mean, I know we have our own domestic issues, but the Middle East? Trouble?

57:04 Caller Wow. Wow.

57:07 Adam Floored. Floored. All right. I can't wait to find out what's going on tomorrow. I have no idea. What do you think the temperature is going to be? What do you think 755?

57:17 It's 10 minutes after the hour now.

57:19 Adam It's 10 after the hour. So we got another eight hours of show, right? I have no idea. Someone's got to do the math.

57:26 Drew Confused.

57:27 Adam They got to do the math for me. They got to figure out. Again, I'm on pins and needles about the Middle East. What do you think? Cleared up? Maybe more trouble? I don't know.

57:35 Drew Yeah, cleared up.

57:36 Adam Yeah, couldn't go on for two days straight. No way. No way. I got that worked right out. No problem there.

57:41 Drew That's how it's been going since 3000 BCE.

57:44 Adam Sensational culture. You can't blame people. Wonderful. You can't judge. So. Here we go. I'll be tuning in early tomorrow morning to find out what's going on out there. Rachel?

57:54 Yeah?

57:54 Adam You're 20? You're 20 years old?

57:58 Caller Yeah.

57:59 Adam Yeah. That's 10 years after 10? Yeah, I'm trying to see. Let's break some of that into, that's 80 away from 100? Yeah. You're calling from Hawthorne? Mm-hmm. Let me check here.

58:13 Drew What's the weather there?

58:14 Adam 72 degrees.

58:17 Drew If you could tell her that, she would know it.

58:19 Adam What are you going to wear tomorrow? Do you know? You have any idea?

58:21 Drew How could she know? She hasn't heard the morning report yet.

58:23 Adam Leg warmers, a parka, muck locks, ear muffs. I don't know.

58:27 I'm going to have to wait for the morning report.

58:29 Adam Yeah, you're going to have to listen. Of course I can.

58:31 Drew What's the question, Rachel?

58:32 Caller My house.

58:33 Drew What is the question?

58:34 Caller Okay, I actually for the past few days or a couple weeks or so, have been throwing up when people just say little critical things to me. And I just wanted to know if that could escalate into a bigger problem.

58:52 Drew Do you mean you're forcing yourself to throw up? Yeah. Oh, that is a big problem.

58:56 Adam Oh, when people say critical things to you, you force yourself to throw up.

59:01 Caller Well, not like critical, but like when they just criticize me or whatever, I just like freak out. And it makes me feel better.

59:10 Drew Yeah, that's almost like, that's basically the way cutting works. That's why people do things like that. And are you expecting to accomplish something by the vomiting? Are you trying to lose weight or something?

59:20 Caller No, cause like I'm fine with how I look and everything.

59:24 Drew Are you just trying to discharge your feelings? Or like literally purge?

59:27 Caller Yeah, like cause after I'm done, then like all the bad feelings, like I feel fine and then I'm just like happy and you know.

59:33 Drew You ought to look into this. You're 20, come on. Are you in school now? Where are you in school?

59:39 Caller At Bryman.

59:42 Adam Bryman.

59:43 Drew Adam likes that.

59:43 Adam Yeah, are you learning to work in a doctor's world?

59:47 Caller Yeah.

59:47 Adam What do you do over there, Bryman?

59:50 Caller Medical insurance.

59:52 Adam Yeah.

59:52 Caller Feeling and coding.

59:53 Adam Yeah. I'll tell you, you were, you had a dead-end career until that Bryman school. I used to watch those commercials when I was a kid. Nothing wrong with that. Listen, that's smart. It's like a trade school. Go get, how long is the program over there?

1:00:10 Caller Five months.

1:00:12 Adam Five months. Five months.

1:00:13 Caller In four hours a day.

1:00:15 Adam In four hours a day. And then when you get out, you get some sort of certificate or something?

1:00:19 Caller Yeah.

1:00:19 Caller And then like you get a certificate and they put you like in a job.

1:00:24 Adam Yeah, they place you.

1:00:25 Caller Yeah.

1:00:25 Adam All right. Good. Smart. Genius. Genius. And again, hold on a second. Rachel. So see a doctor. God bless you with the Brian in school.

1:00:37 Drew You do need some help with this, Rachel. It's pretty serious. People can, these kinds of purging, whether it's specifically with intent to control one's weight or how you eat, or if it's on an emotional basis, the chronic vomiting can really cause severe medical problems.

1:00:51 Adam And again, you'll want to tune in tomorrow morning to catch the weather and traffic, because if you got to go out and put chains on your car, you're going to need a little heads up. You know what I'm saying? That's going to take extra 20, 25 minutes. You want to be late for school, okay? Yeah, because again, there's no possible way of knowing what the temperature might be tomorrow. It's impossible. I wake up every morning. I just, I got to know, I got to know.

1:01:20 Drew It's almost this novelty of how varied it is.

1:01:22 Adam Yeah, I'm thinking a hail size of softballs tomorrow. What are you thinking, Drew?

1:01:27 Drew Tornadoes.

1:01:27 Adam Tornadoes, yeah. Engineer Chris, what do you think for tomorrow? Anything, have any idea?

1:01:33 Caller No, I got to check the radio.

1:01:34 Adam Check the radio, yeah, yeah. Because again.

1:01:37 Drew It could be snow, it could be snow.

1:01:38 Adam Could be snow.

1:01:39 Caller What are we talking about? What are we talking about?

1:01:41 Adam You can't hypothetically, we're not talking about it. So why try, why try? Yeah, we, please.

1:01:47 Drew Or it could be 90 degrees.

1:01:48 Caller Or it could be exactly what it was today.

1:01:50 Adam Exactly what it was today?

1:01:51 Drew Yeah.

1:01:51 Adam Possibly the day before. And then the day before that, and then the day after tomorrow. Mm-hmm.

1:01:56 Caller Excellent.

1:01:56 Adam Jenny?

1:01:57 Caller Yeah.

1:01:58 Adam You're 26?

1:01:59 Caller Yes.

1:02:00 Adam What's happening?

1:02:02 Caller I don't know if you remember me. I talked to you last week. I have a boyfriend, and I've like slowly stopped wanting to have sex with him.

1:02:15 Adam Yeah. That sounds familiar.

1:02:16 Caller I was the one, my dad was a biker. You asked me if I'd had any near-death experience or something.

1:02:24 Drew With a bike, with a motorcycle. Yeah, we know Adam was imagining a motorcycle.

1:02:28 Adam Pictured somebody seeing somebody die, and I pictured a motorcycle accident. And then you told me your dad was a biker. But he didn't get hurt in a motorcycle accident.

1:02:38 Drew And you never saw any big accidents.

1:02:39 Adam But he died some other way, didn't he?

1:02:41 Caller No, he's still alive.

1:02:42 Adam Oh, he's alive.

1:02:43 Drew She's taking care of him. Remember, she takes care of him or something?

1:02:46 Caller No.

1:02:48 Adam Well, is this the guy who lives in the trailer? Well, I thought he lived like, he lived in like the dog run of some house. There's another caller we had.

1:02:57 Caller It was this one.

1:02:59 Caller He lives in a trailer, like a camp trailer by his parents' house.

1:03:03 Caller Yeah.

1:03:04 Yeah.

1:03:04 Caller I remember.

1:03:05 Adam So he was sort of like I pictured a picture of sort of camping at someone's yard.

1:03:09 Right.

1:03:10 Adam Essentially. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that. You were telling me everything was great. Your dad is great. You loved your dad. And then turned out he was just sort of a meth head biker, piece of white trash.

1:03:19 Drew Who you were responsible for. Just like your boyfriend.

1:03:21 Caller Right.

1:03:22 Adam So and your boyfriend wasn't a great guy either, was he?

1:03:25 Caller Well, he's not terrible. I mean, we've had, he's been disloyal to me at a couple of points in our relationship.

1:03:36 Adam That's right.

1:03:37 Caller All right.

1:03:37 Adam So what's the question tonight?

1:03:39 Caller Well, my not wanting to have sex, is there something I guess I want to?

1:03:47 Adam Well, your boyfriend, you caught your boyfriend cheating on you multiple times, right?

1:03:53 Caller Once.

1:03:55 Adam Once.

1:03:56 Caller I mean, I didn't really catch him. He came back from, he was out of state for work. And when he came back, he had some other girl calling the house.

1:04:06 Adam Right. Right. Right.

1:04:09 Caller All right.

1:04:10 Adam So you don't want to have sex with him. But are you are you angry with him?

1:04:14 Caller No.

1:04:16 Adam No.

1:04:16 Caller No.

1:04:17 Adam Not angry with him.

1:04:18 Drew Why not?

1:04:21 Caller Why not? Well, because it's been a long time.

1:04:27 Adam All right. Well, look, then you sound kind of depressed too. Maybe you're just depressed. When you're depressed, it makes everything difficult.

1:04:34 Drew You don't want to have sex.

1:04:34 Adam You don't want to do anything, really, but eat.

1:04:38 Drew Are you on medication?

1:04:39 Caller No.

1:04:40 Drew Do you want to continue this relationship with your boyfriend?

1:04:43 Caller Well, we have a two-year-old together, so. Yeah. Yeah, you know.

1:04:48 Adam Yeah. That's not a ringing endorsement.

1:04:51 Drew You're not in love with the guy anymore.

1:04:53 Caller Well, can that just happen, though?

1:04:56 Drew Can you fall out of love? Absolutely, of course.

1:04:58 Adam Yeah. I did it with myself.

1:05:00 Drew Why do you think people get divorced?

1:05:03 Caller Well, I just figured because they find, I don't know, you know, basically they're all apart.

1:05:08 Adam Well, listen, Jenny, here's the thing.

1:05:10 Drew That's what falling out of love is.

1:05:12 Adam We're not really going to be able to settle this, other than to say that your depression is going to screw up your sex life with your husband or boyfriend.

1:05:22 Drew She doesn't like him anymore. She's not in love with him.

1:05:24 Adam Well.

1:05:25 Drew And that's going to screw it up. But listen, the women, that's going to screw it up.

1:05:27 Adam She's not in love with herself either, Drew. And I'll tell you, dude, I didn't learn that on morning radio. I learned it from a little something called the Bible. Listen, Jenny, I know. I think this is just to carry over from the last time we spoke, which is it doesn't sound like you're enamored with this guy anymore. Here's what I am saying. You do have a two year old. You don't seem angry with the guy. I'll tell you what. Why don't you see what you can do about your depression and then make a decision?

1:05:54 Drew That's the reason why I try to work it out with this guy, because not likely you're going to find great happiness with somebody else either, really. The fact that she kind of goes for guys that are problematic.

1:06:03 Adam Yeah. Jordan's in a wheelchair. He has no feeling below his waist. He wants to know anyway to get the feeling back. Sarah found some blood in the semen in a condom that was used. Bad times. Nick gives out...

1:06:20 Drew Kristen's neck gives out.

1:06:22 Adam Oh, neck.

1:06:23 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:06:24 Adam Kristen's neck gives out during BJs.

1:06:26 Caller God bless her for trying.

1:06:28 Adam Fifteen.

1:06:29 Caller Holy Christ. What's this world coming to?

1:06:31 Adam Steve called... Steve called. He works... He's out in Claremount. He works for a Toyota dealership. What?

1:06:43 Caller What's the temperature out here?

1:06:46 Adam Claremount. Let me check. Seventy-two. But again, again, listen to morning radio so you can find out what it's going to be like tomorrow because you may go out in a thong-back Speedo and a T-shirt.

1:06:59 Drew Snowing.

1:06:59 Adam And just some flip-flops. Or again, you may have to head out in a full park and ski. You know, what they use... You know, the guys who run in the Iditarod? Yeah. The sled team guys. You may be wearing a full-seal skin too. You have no idea. You have no idea. Okay?

1:07:16 Caller Cause I'm on my way home from Claremont to Riverside where I live. Temporary out there.

1:07:21 Adam Riverside checking in 72 too.

1:07:23 Caller All right. Just making sure.

1:07:26 Adam And every place in between Claremont and Riverside checking in 72 degrees.

1:07:30 Drew I wonder if Steve got kudos from his boss for getting that 20-minute commercial for the Prius.

1:07:36 Adam My dad. This is what... I was complaining about it last week, which is I leased my dad a luxury automobile. Five-year lease. He thought it was four years, but...

1:07:51 Caller Oh, my God. Is that guy out of it?

1:07:53 Adam Anyway, five-year lease. I leased him... It was like a Lexus or something. Anyway, the point is, I paid the insurance on it, too. It cost me about $800 bucks and change a month over five years. Sixty months.

1:08:08 Drew Hey, listen. That's probably $500 a year for just registration in the state, for DMV registration.

1:08:14 Adam You do a little math. It turns out to be, I don't know, 40, 50 grand.

1:08:17 Drew I'll remind you that our governor... Those of you in the country that didn't realize why we kicked our governor out, he wanted to triple that in California. It would have been $1,500 a month to lease your dad a car.

1:08:28 Adam Well, Drew, remember I told you many, many years ago that this state and Los Angeles especially used to have a rail line, used to have transportation. They jacked it all out of here, they brought in the motorist, and then they started ringing nuts. And basically they just started raping everyone who drives a car, parking enforcement, whatever. They just rape everyone in Los Angeles, at least then in California, because they know you need your car, and this is a nice group to rape, get tons and tons and tons of revenue. Speaking of rape, I was leased from my dad a luxury car, and the lease was coming up. And he, however, because he's a Corolla, did not see fit to drive the luxury car that I was leasing him. Last 13 times I saw him. And eventually when I confronted him on it, and I assumed he was just letting my stepmom drive the car, who treated me like a prince when I was in high school. Oh, close your eyes.

1:09:26 Caller Yeah, or wait a minute, did she kick me out of the garage when I was 19?

1:09:30 Drew Take you out to the garage?

1:09:32 Caller No, kick me out of the garage.

1:09:33 Drew Well, you're not even able to stay in the garage.

1:09:35 Caller Time to leave.

1:09:36 Adam Actually, I got my garage room converted into a garage. Any room for the car that I eventually would lease him. But anyway, turns out he wasn't driving the luxury automobile because gas is a whole $2.27 a gallon, and that car gets about 5 miles a gallon worse than my stepmom's crappy car that he would then drive.

1:09:58 Drew He was driving all of about three quarters of a mile to see you.

1:10:01 Adam It was almost a mile.

1:10:02 Drew A mile.

1:10:02 Adam There and back. A mile. He saved three pennies. Yeah. My dad's an economic genius. A genius, a man. So anyway, it was time to lease him a new car, and we were joking that we should give him like a moped or a hybrid car or something since he's so concerned with mileage. But one of him got him like the baby Jag, the cheap one anyway, but he doesn't know the difference. He doesn't know it's a cheap one.

1:10:31 Drew But Steve offered to give you, put you the top of the list for a...

1:10:33 Adam Yeah, the hybrid Prius, which is a nice ride that has a premium too, by the way. Hey Steve, are people paying over sticker for that car?

1:10:46 Caller Where I used to work, I'm not going to say the name, I used to work in another toy dealership. In order to get the car right away, you had to pay two grand over sticker. When I'm on Twitter right now, we're charging full sticker for them because they're such a high demand for them. I offered you though, when you wanted one, talking about the Jaguar that is a hundred bucks over invoice. What actually we bought the car for could be a hundred dollars over that.

1:11:12 Adam MSRP. And what is, and what is, by the way, I like the dealerships, there's two things I like when dealerships do. I like when they're selling cars one dollar over MSRP. It's like really? You guys just a buck per unit, huh? So let me do some math here. You sell 50 cars over the course of a weekend, which is a pretty good haul, you know, trucks, RVs, the whole thing, sedans. They only make fifty dollars. Crazy. Then you gotta pay taxes on it. One dollar over invoice. I like that one too. I always, other one I like dealers do, we pay, we pay top dollar for trade-ins and no one beats our used car prices. Wait a minute.

1:11:52 Drew How's that work?

1:11:54 Adam You're going to pay me five grand more than Blue Book when I trade this car in, but when I buy it, it's five grand under Low Blue Book.

1:12:02 Drew I'm coming to you.

1:12:03 Adam Here's the deal. You're lying about one of them.

1:12:06 Drew Or both.

1:12:07 Adam Or both. But I'll tell you one thing. I'll tell you one thing at July over at Cerritos Toyota. I'll tell you one thing. You know what July, you know what July is? Claremont. Claremont. You know what goes on in July? You know what those are?

1:12:21 Drew Dealin days. Dealin days.

1:12:22 Adam Dealin days. Dealin days. That's July. Big one. The manager screwed up. Ordered too many, too many units. Now we gotta move them before the boss gets back. I like that too.

1:12:33 Drew Steve said he was the guy in the commercials. He used to do that.

1:12:35 Adam No way. Alright Steve, we gotta take commercial.

1:12:38 Caller Alright.

1:12:39 Adam I got my dad a Jag. Sorry.

1:12:42 Caller What about Dr. Drew?

1:12:45 Caller These guys wear some Pan Pan. Let's go.

1:12:47 Adam He doesn't need a crappy car with a washing machine engine. He's got an M5. He's a real man. He burns fuel.

1:12:53 Drew He's a great car.

1:12:55 Adam Not for you. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:13:06 Loveline is brought to you by Harold and Kamar. Go to White Castle. In theaters this Friday, July 23rd. For a special advanced sneak preview.

1:13:24 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-B-E-1-9-1. Drew's over there at the computer, seeing how Germany's looking.

1:13:32 Drew Yeah, there is a port, or less a seaboard at the North Sea.

1:13:37 Adam Oh yeah.

1:13:38 Drew Where it meets in Denmark comes off of Germany.

1:13:41 Adam Yeah, we're talking about that about three hours ago on the show. I do remember they had like a submarine port, but it was always hard to tell when you watch all those World War II stuff, like I watched, Germany, they just moved into, you know, Poland and France and all these other places and just started using their stuff. So it was always unclear when you watch, it's like a German submarine port, German, this is where the Germans kept their battleships and all kinds of stuff, but it was always someone else's country.

1:14:07 Drew Right.

1:14:07 Adam It's gotta be kind of crappy if you're that country, huh?

1:14:12 Caller Laughing time is over.

1:14:13 Adam How much water, how much North Sea comes in contact with Germany?

1:14:18 Caller Is it like turn in and go in there?

1:14:19 Drew It's quite a bit. It's, yeah, it's.

1:14:22 Adam Thought there was some of that.

1:14:23 Drew But I wasn't sure. All of Denmark is attached there. And yeah, no sandbars on the North Sea that I can think of.

1:14:30 Adam No, right, I'm looking, I'm looking. I keep talking.

1:14:32 Drew Right here, see right there. That's the sea, that's all Germany, and that's Denmark up there. So that's pretty cool, huh? And that's all Germany.

1:14:38 Adam All right, it's great radio. Coming back there, buddy. All right, God bless. I'll tell you the computer. What can't the computer do besides be entertaining on the radio? But don't worry, we're gonna work that out. Are you ready to rock here, Drew?

1:14:52 Drew Yeah, let's talk about semen again.

1:14:54 Adam Oh, yeah, blend the semen. Sarah?

1:14:57 Hello?

1:14:58 Adam 23?

1:14:58 Yes.

1:14:59 Adam What's up?

1:15:01 I was taking out the trash today and looked in an old condom and there was blood in like the semen. And I'm just wondering if I should be concerned.

1:15:13 Adam How old's the condom?

1:15:15 Like from yesterday?

1:15:18 Adam No.

1:15:19 Drew Wasn't like an Egyptian condom, Adam, no.

1:15:22 Adam No, I just.

1:15:22 Drew Was that a petrified condom?

1:15:23 Adam Old condom, yeah, all right. It's still a soil that you see. Here's the thing, old condoms gotta be, I don't know what you think through it. See, that's a soiled condom.

1:15:33 Drew Yeah, old condom would be something from long ago.

1:15:37 Adam No, old condom, here's what, old condom, seriously, seriously.

1:15:41 Drew Yeah, seriously.

1:15:43 Adam Old condom is a week old. Maybe five days plus becomes an old condom. Before five days, like three day old condom.

1:15:52 Drew It's a soiled one, used one.

1:15:53 Adam Used condom, am I right?

1:15:54 Drew I'll give you that. Yeah, blood in the semen is not an uncommon thing at all and it doesn't necessarily really mean a thing. However, it's something just worth checking out with a doctor just to be sure. It's remarkable how common it is and how infrequently it amounts to anything.

1:16:11 Sarah?

1:16:12 Drew Did you hear what I said?

1:16:13 Yes, most of it. You're cutting in and out kind of.

1:16:17 Drew I'll say it again. That blood in the semen is very common. It needs to be checked out, but it rarely means anything significant.

1:16:25 Okay, great. Thanks a lot.

1:16:26 Adam Hi, baby doll.

1:16:27 I've got one more question.

1:16:28 Adam Oh yeah, let me check. Where are you calling from?

1:16:30 Huntington Beach.

1:16:31 Adam Oh, well, let me check this. 72 degrees.

1:16:34 Drew Fountain Valley?

1:16:34 Adam That's right. Don't try to stump me, Drew. Throw a city at me. Chris.

1:16:42 Drew Redondo?

1:16:43 Adam 72.

1:16:44 Drew Long Beach?

1:16:45 Adam 72. No one's faster than I am. No one.

1:16:49 Drew Bolsa Chica?

1:16:50 Adam Bolsa Chica. 72 degrees. Newport. 72, they're checking in. Close to Mesa? 72. 72. You can't stump me. I'm just saying, because they've all checked in.

1:17:04 Drew I was like, I'm out of here.

1:17:06 Adam All right, but what else? Do you have another question?

1:17:09 Yes. Okay, in the Jewish religion, are you circumcised or not circumcised?

1:17:16 Drew You are circumcised.

1:17:18 Adam You are.

1:17:19 Drew She's a biblical scholar, so biblical studies.

1:17:25 It's a question me and my friend had and I'm wrong, so thanks a lot.

1:17:30 Drew Circumcision was a way that primitive Jewish tribes distinguished themselves from everybody else. Now circumcision is sort of a common procedure in this country and it's part of a routine childcare.

1:17:44 Adam And the crazy payas and the beard down to their waist and the nutty hat and the cardboard box taped to their head, that didn't, not a tip-off that they weren't going. Didn't think they were just a band of surfers out following the swell.

1:18:03 Drew Oh, how dare you?

1:18:05 Adam Really? People didn't know. Didn't know all the rest of the crazy crap those nut jobs engage in. That wasn't a little heads up that they were different, you and I. Yeah. It's wondering, it's curious why throughout the annals of history that Jews have taken such a good ass kick in over the years. Possibly it's because all that weird crap they're into. Here's the thing, everybody. You show up to school wearing the full length duster, the kabuki makeup and the aggressive piercings. Guy on a football team may kick your ass. And you show up wearing the crazy pay-ass, the beard down your neck and a crazy hat, and the wooden box, prayer box strapped to your head. You may also be in for a good ass kicking. That's society. Society asks that you blend in. And when you stand out, sometimes, Japanese have a saying, Drew, the nail that sticks up gets hit with a hammer. And you want to stick up, you want to be that nail? Sometimes society will take a hammer to you. Not saying it's a good thing. Not saying it's a right thing. I'm just saying that's how it works. Your job, people, blend in. Stand out, sometimes the hammer will get you. That's all.

1:19:26 Drew Sarah's 23.

1:19:27 Adam 23. Let's just call her from Huntington Beach.

1:19:29 Drew Ask her if she's trying to.

1:19:33 Adam Sarah?

1:19:34 Wasted.

1:19:35 Adam You a good looking girl?

1:19:37 Yeah, I'm okay.

1:19:38 Adam Junior college?

1:19:41 No, I work.

1:19:42 Drew What do you do?

1:19:43 Adam Anytime in junior college?

1:19:46 I took like one class. A volleyball class.

1:19:49 Drew Orange Coast. Volleyball.

1:19:51 Adam That's Chris. Chris is looking at some hacky sack classes, actually. Change his major to volleyball.

1:19:57 I recommend it.

1:19:57 Drew What kind of work do you do?

1:20:02 And retail.

1:20:03 Adam Public school, yes?

1:20:05 Yes, and Christian school for three years.

1:20:10 Adam All right there, Sarah. Just checking.

1:20:13 Well, thanks a lot, you guys.

1:20:15 Adam All right, baby doll.

1:20:16 Love the show.

1:20:16 Adam Love you. All right, 23. Didn't know that in the Jewish culture, they circumcised the... Now, again, let's just get some clarification. Sarah, it's only for the males of the Jewish religion. You clear?

1:20:34 Drew Oh, she hung up.

1:20:34 Adam Okay, oh man. I feel like I fire off an email now just to make sure.

1:20:38 Drew Catch up with her.

1:20:39 Adam She's calling her. Yeah. All right, all right. And again.

1:20:42 Caller Can't judge.

1:20:44 Adam Can't judge, and we must have respect for all religions, they're all beautiful. They're beautiful.

1:20:49 Drew Well.

1:20:49 Adam They're all beautiful.

1:20:50 Drew Do you know the-

1:20:51 Adam I love the Jews.

1:20:52 Drew Do you know the source of toleration? It used to be people would say, and this is, you don't even know this history, that they would say, well, we're aware that if you don't accept God and get baptized, you're gonna go to hell. And that we can't allow that. I mean, that's a horrible thing to stand by, let that happen to somebody. So we have to save you. Unless we're convinced it's gonna happen, unless we help you, therefore we can't tolerate that the possibility happened to you. We can't let it happen. That's where all that crap comes from. And so then it became, now we gotta tolerate everything. Yeah.

1:21:24 Adam No, the Lord works in mysterious ways. I was just thinking about it. And, oh, he's up there. And he's looking after each and every one of us. And we all have an individual relationship with him. And he knows us all, at least by first name basis. I'm not sure if he knows your, does he know your full name? He's looking out for all of us. And I was just thinking about the time he was looking out for one of his souls named Adolf Hitler. When, because it's the anniversary, by the way, today. It's the anniversary of the plot to kill him. And some guy brought in a bomb, put it in a suitcase, and like slid it under a table that old Adolf was in. One of God's children. And the bomb went off, thank God. Adolf was shielded by some like thick oak door, table leg or something. Saved his life and went on to cremate several hundred thousand, maybe a million, or a few more Jews after that. And of course, the guys who put the bomb in there, well, they were executed. Again, God's got a plan. Now, that one's a tricky one to try to figure out. Hmm, what was that plan? These guys, they were gonna kill Hitler. Hitler made it. They got executed and put in the ground with several million more Jews. Anyway, can't question it. Cannot question. Believe me, he's got a plan. I'm sure it's gonna come around any day now. And don't give up the faith. That's the point. He knows y'all and he's got a plan for you. All right? And even if that means keeping Hitler's out of harm's way or tossing your three-year-old in front of an RTD bus, whatever it is, it's a plan. We gotta go with it. You see what I'm saying? It makes sense. You gotta have faith. You gotta have faith. That's all I'm saying. But there's no doubt. There's no doubt that he's looking after all of us. That's all I'm saying. There's no doubt. Now, it may have fallen asleep at the wheel just a little bit for the guys who tried to kill Hitler and ended up getting executed. Maybe just a bit. Just a little bit. Again, I can't question. Because obviously the guy's got, you know, I want to get mad props. He's up there. He's looking after everyone. I don't want to talk any smack about the guy. I'm just saying maybe with the thing with the guys getting executed or trying to kill Hitler, maybe it would have been a work down better the other way. But again, that's hindsight 2020. I don't want to be one of these armchair quarterbacks either. You know what I'm saying? Jordan?

1:23:54 Yes.

1:23:55 Adam You're 15?

1:23:56 Caller Yes, I am.

1:23:57 Adam All I'm saying is, it's important that you guys all go on believing. And then thrusting your retarded beliefs on everyone around you. What's up there, Jordan?

1:24:05 Caller Well, I have a spinal amputation and it's a thing where I'm in a wheelchair and I don't really-

1:24:11 Adam Sorry, but that's part of the plan.

1:24:13 Drew That's what somebody's born with.

1:24:14 Adam Yeah.

1:24:14 Drew Did you have a meningomyloseal?

1:24:16 Caller Yes, yeah.

1:24:18 Drew Yeah.

1:24:18 Adam Yeah, Drew, real doctor or just a love doctor? Again, Hitler missing out on death with the bomb, you being confined in a wheelchair, all part of the plan.

1:24:28 Caller Yeah, totally.

1:24:29 Adam I'm glad you know that.

1:24:30 Caller Yep.

1:24:30 Adam So what's going on?

1:24:32 Caller And I don't have any feeling in my groinal area.

1:24:35 Adam Part of the plan, right on schedule. Groinal. Groinal area.

1:24:39 Caller Yeah. And I-

1:24:40 Adam So, hold on a second. If I took a curling iron to your penis, would you feel it?

1:24:49 Caller It's really weird on like days it could maybe, on other days I can't. It's like I can feel pain and then I can feel the sensation of pee, but I can't feel any like pleasure or the pain.

1:25:04 Drew Can you have an orgasm?

1:25:06 Caller No, I can't.

1:25:07 Adam All right, but he's 15 and at 15, I wasn't, you know- On board completely. On board with the orgasm department, either. You can feel the sensation of urination.

1:25:20 Caller Well, I know when I have to pee, but I can't feel it come out.

1:25:23 Adam Okay, so that's probably a little bit different. Thank Christ, by the way, that you have, you know when it's time to go.

1:25:32 Caller Oh, I guess.

1:25:33 Adam Yeah, well, that could be bad times otherwise. It has. And you can, you would feel, again, if I put a thumb tack in your penis, you would feel it.

1:25:42 Caller It really depends, but I-

1:25:44 Drew Anyway, he has some feeling.

1:25:46 Adam All right. Seems like, seems like we could-

1:25:51 Drew There's a chance-

1:25:52 Adam We could work on this one.

1:25:52 Drew You have some function out there, but there's no way to get more feeling per se.

1:25:56 Adam But plus-

1:25:56 Drew Who was born with this spinal cord injury?

1:25:58 Adam Everybody is going just full nuts ahead on this one. I mean, I'm just talking about, I know- Stem cell research, this kind of stuff.

1:26:08 Drew Yeah, full nuts ahead, full nuts ahead, except not at all in this country.

1:26:11 Adam Right, right. Again, oh, wait a minute, we got Bush in there.

1:26:16 Caller He's a religious man, and not into the stem cell research. That's right. Thank God it's not affecting guys like Jordan over here, combined in a wheelchair.

1:26:28 Adam I was just crazy that Reagan with his Alzheimer's and all that stuff, it was crazy. Now his wife's out there championing stem cell research. Yeah, yeah, and listen, honey, where were you before your husband, how come you didn't pipe up before your guy got it? He didn't give a rat's ass about everyone else who could have benefited from this technology, only when your guy got it, we got to hear you pipe up about it? Interesting, all right. So we ain't moving forward in this department, but it does seem like, and I don't know, you know, don't worry about any of them creams or pills or anything, and also Jordan, you're 15. So you're gonna start, hopefully, obviously things aren't gonna work out for you like a normal, healthy guy who's not gonna find a wheelchair, but as far as the orgasms go and other functions, things may start coming online with you. All right, Jordan? All righty.

1:27:26 Drew You shouldn't be afraid to talk to your doctors about this stuff, too. There are various things. Even things like if you want to become sexually active, things like Viagra and whatnot might be helpful for you.

1:27:34 Adam And it also, it does seem like every time I hear any kind of conversation involves medical, whatever, it's all, and maybe a lot of it's Christopher Reeve stuff and all that stuff is a lot of the spinal repair and a lot of this kind of, I don't know if it's neuro type of medicine, I mean it seems like we work big to small. You know, 150 years ago we were worried about just sewing up skin and patching, putting bones back together. And as the technology gets stronger and as we learn more and the sciences get stronger, we start getting smaller. We're working our way into this stuff. I don't know what the future holds for 15 year old Jordan. I imagine, especially if we get off our ass with the stem cell research stuff and we get these nutball religious lunatics out of the way, we can get a little work done and maybe when a guy, a guy like Jordan can look forward to a semi-normal life. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. It's Adam.

1:28:33 Drew And I'm Dr. Drew.

1:28:34 Adam Here to talk about Axe Deodorant Body Spray.

1:28:37 Drew Yes, sir.

1:28:38 Adam You spray that on, you give stink the Axe. Let's get some calls. Oh man, we may have a record here, Drew. We may have an on-hold record. I don't know, phone screener Brian is the keeper, the official on-hold record, but we have 130 minutes and 17, no, 19, no, 20, never stops, seconds.

1:29:25 Drew I wonder if she will be awake.

1:29:28 Adam Well, after my spirited tirade against organized religion, I can't imagine she'd be asleep. Kristen?

1:29:37 Caller There she is.

1:29:39 Adam 130 minutes on hold. Two hours and 10 minutes. Thanks, baby doll. God love you. We got to keep moving forward with the show though. We got Germany or Florida coming up here, Drew. We got to break. Hey, we got to pay some bills. I like that we got to pay some bills. Wait a minute, Kristen. Sorry, baby. Just screwing with you. Go ahead with your question.

1:30:12 Caller Last time I called in, you kind of like my question, you said it was like a typical 15-year-old girl question or whatever. So I kind of like pissing you off with my questions or whatever. Because I was the one that called in like, why can't guys stay hard when they're coked up or whatever?

1:30:30 Caller Yeah.

1:30:31 Caller He'll build. But your phone screen is I said that this question is more interesting. So I wanted to know like, if you give head too much, can that like mess up your neck or something?

1:30:42 Caller Yeah.

1:30:43 Adam You know the guy who called earlier was find a wheelchair?

1:30:46 Caller Yeah.

1:30:47 Adam 15-year-old spina bifida? Copious amounts of performing oral sex as it turned out would put him in the chair. Yeah. That's how Churchill got put in there too, by the way. A lot of people don't know that.

1:30:58 Caller Well, like my neck has like given out on me before.

1:31:02 Adam That's Stephen Hawking. That's what happened to him. You work too hard. You sever the T. What is that?

1:31:09 Drew I'm going to tell my daughter that Stephen Hawking had got that from exposure to semen.

1:31:14 Adam What's the high break? The T?

1:31:15 Drew Cervical.

1:31:16 Adam T what? Cervical? C8 up top?

1:31:20 Drew Yeah.

1:31:21 Adam Yeah. You lose function. Well, in the upper body.

1:31:24 Drew C5?

1:31:25 Adam C5. You sunk my battleship. All right, Kristen. Yeah. That's most people you see, especially the elderly who are confined to a wheelchair, especially guys, oral. That's what put them there.

1:31:45 Caller Yeah.

1:31:46 Adam So unless you want to be walking around, getting around one of those larks or using a stroke cane or something just to get through the market, I suggest you slow it down a little bit, all right?

1:31:55 Caller Yeah.

1:31:56 Adam All right, baby. Again, I candid it not only for birth control for someone like Kristen who's 15, but for me to actually fill her up with cement.

1:32:06 Caller Take her vagina and actually fill it in.

1:32:08 Drew I would like to develop something that you could seal on. Yeah, something equivalent of the brick in the vagina. Yeah, just a brick in, but to brick it in.

1:32:18 Adam Brick it up.

1:32:19 Drew Yeah, brick it up.

1:32:20 Adam Like a barbecue or a smokestack. Just look, sweetie, we cannot have you getting pregnant. Do you understand? We cannot, as taxpayers, as Americans, we can't support that. All right, baby doll, well on hold for 130 minutes. Find out if your neck can give out from giving too much oil. And at 15, she keeps calling it. I mean, come on.

1:32:39 Drew She was so disturbed being the last time.

1:32:42 Adam I know. Come on, sweetie. You're going to end up doing porn in six months, which you just find Jesus Christ. I rarely say, find him.

1:32:52 Drew But tonight you do.

1:32:52 Caller Find him.

1:32:53 Adam He's got a plan for you. Finished a plan about saving Hitler. He's gonna move on for playing with you.

1:32:58 Caller All right? Here we go. All right.

1:33:00 Adam We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

1:33:02 Caller Here it is.

1:33:02 Adam Bottom line, it sucks being single today.

1:33:05 Caller Tons of lame people and no decent prospects. Call the Dateline.

1:33:09 Caller 1-877-889-DATE.

1:33:15 Caller Love Line will be right back.

1:33:17 Caller So get your problems ready.

1:33:37 Adam Well, that's the show, y'all.

1:33:39 Caller Thanks for hanging in with us tonight. We'll do it again tomorrow night, so until next time, this is Adam Krohler for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:33:54 Caller The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, July 20, 2004