Episode 1000632678190

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. I'm Adam.

1:05 Adam Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, and we'll welcome back to the show, master drummer, Matt Sorum from Velvet Revolver.

1:18 Hi, Matt.

1:19 Velvet Revolver Hello.

1:20 Adam Matt has been in here representing the cult, I think maybe Guns N Roses.

1:27 Velvet Revolver I came down here once with Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols. And John Taylor. We had a band called Neurotic Outsiders. Wow, a long time ago.

1:36 Yeah, yeah.

1:37 Adam Well, listen.

1:38 Velvet Revolver Steve Jones was always fun on this show.

1:41 Adam Yeah, Matt has been, well, he's sort of becoming the drummer of choice for the super bands.

1:50 Yeah, they all go for Matt.

1:51 Velvet Revolver Yeah, I kept busy. I've been a very lucky guy.

1:55 Adam It seems like Matt had a turnaround at some point, gotten a mountain bike riding and taken multiple vitamins or something. And it's probably worked out.

2:04 Velvet Revolver I don't do the mountain bike thing, but I do the vitamins. And we'll talk about that later because I have some vitamins for people out there that are keeping active in different areas of their lives.

2:14 Adam Well, you made some, I thought you were riding mountain bikes.

2:20 Velvet Revolver That's Duff, that's Duff, my bass player. He's like, you know, he's a black belt in karate now. And, you know, he got off the drugs and he's into martial arts and he's around mountain bikes and, you know, climbing the Andes and whatever else he's doing.

2:33 Adam That's the problem with people who get off drugs. They get on to everything else, including my nerves, Drew. I like the better when they're on to drugs. Like now they're into everything. He's like, come on, we're going parasailing.

2:42 Velvet Revolver Yeah, he's up way too early. I still sleep in. Duff gets up at like, you know, 5 a.m. and, you know, runs 15 miles. And then he's, you know, then he goes kickboxing and I don't get it.

2:53 Adam So of Velvet Revolver, you got you and you got Slash and you got Duff. And obviously you Axel is gone. It's like, was Axel the troubled part of Guns N Roses, as far as you know?

3:08 Drew I mean, I mean, what I mean is, We've seen Slash drop lit cigarettes into his boot and not move.

3:18 Velvet Revolver You know, they kept us pretty liquored up through the whole thing. I mean, the idea was keep the band inebriated and they won't mind. But at one point we were kind of like, Hey, we're missing out here. This is an especially when we're trying to make this album that still hasn't come out, the Chinese democracy of sorts or whatever it's called. We basically spent like four years hanging around a room trying to record an album that never got done. So we all said, Hey, we got to figure out what we're doing here. And I discovered again that I'm a musician when got back with the cult. And then this time, after all that happened, about four or five years went by, put this Velvet Revolver thing together.

4:00 Adam So Axl Rose is like impossible to work with. Would you say that?

4:06 Velvet Revolver It got to be that way.

4:07 Adam I don't mean impossible. Like, well, he's such an a-hole or such a maniac. I just mean, there's some guys that become like Howard Hughes or something. It's just at a certain point, you just can't, you couldn't work with them. They might be able to work or do something, but I just mean you couldn't work with them.

4:23 Velvet Revolver Well, you know, when it was great, it was great. I mean, we would do shows, you know, we'd be playing, you know, all over the world doing stadiums and arenas all over the world. But, you know, we'd wait an hour or two hours to get on stage. And, you know, it was a drag. But once we get up there, you know, some of the gigs were unbelievable. And people would walk away going, oh, my God, that was the best rock show I've ever seen. So it's kind of like, you know, it's the it's the deal that goes with being a lead singer, I guess. I mean, it seems to me that all the good ones are a little bit on the edge. It seems like, I don't know. I mean, the great ones, Jim Morrison, you know, you know, some of the greatest rock performers of all time. I mean, yeah, you know, it's a drag. Half of them are dead. But it's like, yeah, seems like there's a lot that goes with having that thing that makes rock and roll.

5:08 Adam Speaking of that, what's going on with Scott Weiland?

5:10 Velvet Revolver Scott's doing great, man. He's doing great. We just went out on about an eight week tour. He had a six month deal with the courts and he fulfilled his commitment.

5:22 Adam He seems skinny. I don't want to, you know, cast the aspersions, but he looks like he's...

5:28 Velvet Revolver He's got that heroin look, but let me tell you what it is. He doesn't eat.

5:32 Adam Because he's doing heroin or he just doesn't eat because he's not on the ground?

5:36 Velvet Revolver Trust me, if Scott was on heroin, he wouldn't be on stage. I mean, not with us, no.

5:41 Adam Really?

5:41 Velvet Revolver No, he wouldn't be able to perform like he does.

5:43 Adam Okay, because Drew's got a puss on. I got to tell you, I know Drew. You know, it's a sensitive subject and you got your laws and your rules and stuff. Stop talking so much, Drew, you're making me nervous. But you know what I'm saying, I don't know anything. All I know is Scott Weiland looks like a guy who's back on with the drop.

6:05 Velvet Revolver You know what, he's in the gym every day.

6:07 Adam I'm not saying he acts like it, he doesn't sing like it, he doesn't sound like it, he just looks like it.

6:13 Velvet Revolver Hey, but all those skinny front men, man, they have that look. Look at Iggy Pop. Come on, Iggy Pop's skinny, just drinks like six diet Pepsi's before he goes on stage. He doesn't do drugs anymore. Egg whites or whatever they do. Look at Dave Navarro. I'm backing Scott.

6:31 Drew Drew, hello, I'm all for Scott.

6:33 Adam I know we're all fans, there's no doubt about it. That's why we're talking about it. So, Velvet Revolver, we'll hear something off the new CD in just a couple of few. We'll get to the phones and speak to Christy, who's 23. Christy? What's happening? Let me tell you the other thing about Scott Weiland, too. Scott Weiland, a lot of people don't really know this, is a really great front man. I mean, you don't hear about it, I don't know, SDP was a good band and he sounded good and the songs were good and stuff. But if you see him perform, you realize he's a great front man for a band. He's a great guy to have up there as a lead singer. Not just he has a charisma, he has a stage presence that I'm not so sure. A lot of guys in the kind of bands that he was in before don't have. You know what I'm saying?

7:28 Velvet Revolver Well, we were looking, you know, Slash and Duff and myself got back together and we looked for almost a year and a half for a lead singer and what we realized is there isn't any out there.

7:38 Adam No.

7:38 Velvet Revolver They broke the mold.

7:40 Adam Have you seen though, I mean, you probably caught some SDP shows back in the day and probably remembered that Scott Weiland was pretty good.

7:49 Velvet Revolver Well, we did. We had an idea, but we knew what we were kind of getting ourselves in for being as, you know, we kind of wanted things to run a little bit smoother than our previous band. So, you know, we really, when we went into this whole thing, we were like, okay, we know what we're getting into. We know what kind of character he is, but we're, you know, we're very supportive of him and we've all been there. You know, I was an alcoholic, cocaine, snorting party guy for years and, you know, I got through it and I'm, I'm cleaned up now and I'm living life healthy and Duff McKagan, same guy. Oh, yeah. Slash shot some speed balls in his day, you know, and heroin and everything else. And now he's got two kids and throws back a couple of Guinness in there. But, you know, he's off the hard stuff. And, you know, so we're kind of like, hey, man, if we can pull that out, if we can do it, he can do it. I am a poster child for a guy. If I can do it, anybody can get caught.

8:48 Adam Well, how many years of sobriety do you have now?

8:51 Velvet Revolver September will be six years I haven't had any drugs or alcohol. Yeah, yeah. But that night, that last night, let me tell you, that last night was a lot of fun, as much as I can remember.

9:02 All right.

9:04 Adam Let's talk to Christy. Was I speaking to Christy before? Christy. You're 23. What's up?

9:10 Caller I am 23. And by the way, I love Velvet Revolver. Big fan. I keep getting spoon fed all these sweet, like, emotions and guys telling me, I guess, basically what I want to hear. And I never seem to find the right one. It's like they put on all this, I guess you could say a front. And, you know, a couple of days later, after I start responding to it and making sure that they're making the first move, it's like, oh, wait, I don't want that.

9:48 So hold on.

9:50 Adam This is not a real problem.

9:51 Drew Yeah, we don't know what you're talking about, really.

9:53 Adam It's just guys doing their thing. They want to get in your pants. You want to, you know, they lie a little bit.

10:00 Caller I'm out there looking for somebody and they smell that.

10:04 Drew And that's what they go after. And they see how far you're going to go at that.

10:07 Adam Well, yeah. Where are you? Where are you looking to meet guys?

10:10 Caller Basically, well, just like the area. I mean, I live in Illinois. I'm about 10 minutes from St. Louis on the Illinois side.

10:19 Drew And you look for them.

10:20 Adam So you're not leaving.

10:21 Velvet Revolver Hey, you know what I know about the Illinois side? When you go over the bridge there from St. Louis, that's where all the good strip bars are.

10:26 Adam Oh, really?

10:27 Velvet Revolver Yeah. On the other side. That's true, right? I'm right.

10:35 Drew What Adam's asking is, do you meet these guys at work or through friends at school?

10:40 Caller I've met one at work and some are through mutual friends and some are just people that... I go to college, so some of them have been from college.

10:49 Drew And you actually go on a dinner. Who cares?

10:52 Adam It's just luck. She's 23. She's going through that thing that everyone goes through. You meet, you have a couple of bad... Yeah, actually, probably a good thing to have a couple of bad dates, a couple of bad relationships, a couple of bad outings. True. And everything, you know what I mean?

11:07 Drew Experience this thing, learn it.

11:08 Adam Yeah, you dump somebody, they dump you, somebody cheats on you, you bust somebody, they bust you a little this and a little that, a couple of bad first dates before you know it, you're married and you have something to go off of. I think people that marry, like the chick they met in the ninth grade, always have it in the back of their head of, whoa, wait a minute, I don't even know what it's like to be with somebody else. I mean, you need to know, Drew, you've been with a lot of crazy broads, Drew, I mean, hundreds, hundreds of crazy broads to know, to know that the crazy broad that you married was the right choice, right? I mean, you know your wife, you've been through it, enough candy stripers, not to mention, I mean, there's the staff at your office, I mean, it just keeps going, it just keeps the bae, the poor guy.

11:57 Velvet Revolver Are you single still, Drew?

11:58 Drew No, no, I have three kids.

11:59 Adam Drew has three kids, three kids and a lovely wife, but the point is, is he didn't marry the first lady, dip the wick in, that's all I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

12:10 Drew I know what you're saying.

12:11 Adam You know what I'm saying? Matt, what about you?

12:13 Velvet Revolver I am single.

12:14 Adam You're single now?

12:15 Velvet Revolver Yeah.

12:16 Adam You've been married though, right?

12:16 Velvet Revolver I got married for a minute. Yeah, it was a one year thing.

12:20 Adam Was it like a rock and roll thing?

12:21 Velvet Revolver It was a rock and roll marriage. Yeah, the rest of the band got married, so I figured, okay. Backstage party was over.

12:27 Adam Right.

12:27 Velvet Revolver I got married for a year. What happened? And it was, you know, I was still doing drugs and drinking, you know, drugs and drinking and being married just doesn't mix.

12:35 Adam Yeah, because here's the thing, really, if you think about it. It takes all your energy not to F up as a guy in a relationship. As a male. As a male. It's almost like driving a big rig that if you start getting loaded, you're going to jackknife immediately. Like, I'm just saying, I'm serious. As a guy, you know, not to cheat, not to say stupid stuff to your wife, not to spack her a little bit once in a while, to pay attention, to not try to screw her friends, all this stuff you can't do. You have to be sober and focused to do that.

13:11 Velvet Revolver If you're drinking and doing drugs, other things start coming in.

13:14 Adam A couple rails of blow, a few heinies and you're out on the road. You go in a direction that you would easily go. You want to go that direction anyway.

13:24 Velvet Revolver You end up in Vegas usually. Then it's just bad. That's right.

13:28 Adam And even though they say what goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas, oftentimes other people leave and tell your wife what you did.

13:35 Velvet Revolver That's right.

13:36 Adam Which you did stay there, but they saw what you did and they brought it home.

13:39 Velvet Revolver I actually used to call it the CLIT organization. Chicks linking information together.

13:44 Adam Oh, they love it. They love it. Oh, producer Ann. Are you kidding me? Do you know what happened at the Bachelor party?

13:52 Velvet Revolver They used to say do it more than three area codes away. That used to be the motto, right?

13:56 Drew Yeah, that was before the Internet.

13:59 Velvet Revolver Oh, no, they loved to. That's right. It was before the Internet.

14:02 Adam I'm sorry you have to hear it from me, but did you know what went on at the Bachelor party? Well, I mean, well, first off, you would have thought Matt was the Bachelor the way he carried on.

14:11 Velvet Revolver No, you know what it was with my old lady, like living in Hollywood, right? Like everyone calls everybody. If you like have any sort of celebrity, everybody knows everything about you and they want to talk about it. So it's like I get home, got the wife, I get home about 6 a.m. I was at the studio with the band, honey. Actually, no, you weren't. You stopped by the body shop on the sunset. Then you went to Crazy Girls. Then you're at this party at 12304, right, that drive with some chick. And her name was Lisa.

14:42 Adam If a guy found this information out, he wouldn't report it back to his friend. He would try to get in on it. He would try to capitalize. Do you know what I'm saying? If you swapped it around, like let's say, I found out that so-and-so's wife was out making the rounds. I wouldn't be like, I got to go tip him off. I'd be like, I got to get in on some of that now. I mean, that's how guys think. Guys are like, what's in it for me? Girls are like, I'll tell you what's in it for me. I get to make you feel like ass. That's what's in it for me. I thought you should know. Listen, I'm only telling you this because I love you. You know I love you and I love Matt, but other people love Matt too. They love him. They give him like an oral love job. Anyway, I just thought you should know. I really thought you should know. Oh, if you knew what went on at that bachelor party, do you want to know? I thought you should know. I think you should know. It's best that you know. So you guys can get divorced.

15:37 Velvet Revolver You know, when I got married, see, that's the problem. When I got married, my wife didn't let me have a bachelor party. You know what she said to me? She said, your whole life has been a bachelor party. You're going to have a bachelor party.

15:48 Adam She should have let you in. She should have purged you. Chris?

15:52 Yes.

15:53 Adam You're 27?

15:54 Caller Yeah. How you guys doing?

15:56 Adam Doing good.

15:57 Caller I just wanted to say, man, you guys are my favorite people in the world. I listen to you all the time.

16:02 Drew I'm coming to Phoenix next week. I'm going to Phoenix on Friday.

16:07 Adam Yeah. He's calling from Phoenix, everybody. When Drew says that, it's because he's...

16:12 Caller I was just wondering, Adam first, I just want to know, you guys talk to yourself all the time. I was just wondering, how come, I mean, we sit on hold forever. And I was just wondering why you can't go in the corner and jack up and get a little of that frustration out.

16:30 Adam Hey, Drew's coming out to Phoenix next week.

16:34 Caller I know, Drew, I love you.

16:37 Drew This is a funny, funny guy. Funny, comedian.

16:44 Adam Drew, are we heading out toward Phoenix? Visit our buddy Chris when you get out there?

16:49 Caller It's great.

16:49 Drew First order of business.

16:51 Adam Listen, everybody, I don't mind a critique of the show. I don't mind a prank phone call. I don't mind some chop-bots. I don't mind any of it.

16:58 Drew You might lack a talent and stupidity.

17:01 Adam Yeah, here's the whole thing. If you want to do a practical joke, do a practical joke, but don't walk up to some guy and go... Boo! No, just walk up and smack him in the back and have the ball peen hammer. It's not like it's a practical joke. Do something funny. Anyway, Drew, he's out in Phoenix.

17:20 Drew I'll visit him. I'll get his address from...

17:25 Adam By the way, if you think you're insulting me by telling me to go in the corner and beat off...

17:28 Drew No, that's a green light.

17:31 Adam That's like insulting a bear by telling me to give him a pot of honey.

17:36 Drew I'll go in the corner.

17:37 Adam Yeah, thank you. And by the way, I don't need a corner to beat off.

17:43 Drew I know. I do it right in the middle of the road.

17:46 Adam Oh, I see. Symbolically.

17:47 Drew Yeah, just kind of pull out a little bit and go by yourself and beat off. Not in front of us necessarily.

17:52 Adam I see, I see. I see what he meant. Okay, my apologies to Chris.

17:56 All right.

17:57 Adam It's sort of like a jack-off time out. Is that what that would be like?

18:00 Drew I think that's sort of the implication. Yeah. Yeah.

18:03 Adam Well, let's hear a song from Velvet Revolver. How are you doing over there, Chris? How was junior college this weekend? Fine?

18:12 Drew Got your new schedule set up?

18:14 Adam Friday?

18:14 Drew Math?

18:15 Adam No. Drew, you look at the schedule. Now, the schedule, I've seen the junior college schedules. They just have pictures. They don't have words because a lot of the people that go there, they don't read real good, but they'll have a smiley face if it's good.

18:30 Drew Mr. Sick Man at the Blackboard doing the arithmetic.

18:32 Adam Right. Well, that's what it would be. Like math, they'll just, math will just have a picture of a calculator. Oh, okay. It won't have words there. And history is a picture of a...

18:44 Drew English warship.

18:45 Adam Well, it's going to say globe, but it's actually flat with a ship sailing off the edge of it. We haven't really got the... Perfect. They don't got globes yet over there. All right. Oh, no. We're going to hear a song. That's right. That's right. You crewed up there?

18:55 All right.

18:57 Adam A little something from Matt Sorum, by the way, is here tonight from Velvet Revolver. We'll hear a little something off that. And this song is called Slither. Yeah, a little Velvet Revolver for you, Matt Sorum. Super drummer.

23:16 Velvet Revolver Thank you very much.

23:16 Adam Drummer of the Stars is here tonight representing. We will take ourselves a little bit of a break. We'll hear something else from Velvet Revolver in the second hour. And when we come back, Amy, yes Drew, who do you want to talk to? Sex addict, Mark, Virgin.

23:34 Drew Courtney.

23:35 Adam Here's a Virgin, Courtney the Virgin. Folks don't believe her. When I put her on the birth control pill, your folks don't believe you're Virgin. Courtney?

23:44 Yeah.

23:45 Adam Your folks don't believe you're Virgin?

23:47 No, they don't.

23:48 Drew How dare they?

23:49 Adam Yeah. All right. Hang on a second. I remember my dad couldn't believe anyone would screw me.

23:55 Drew I couldn't believe it.

23:56 Adam The exact opposite. Dad, I'm 33. I'm getting laid now. Please son. Who are you kidding? You're Corolla. Yeah, but dad, I'm on MTV. You're Corolla first. Corollas don't get laid. Now focus.

24:10 Velvet Revolver Yeah, but dad, I'm on MTV. That's for sure.

24:14 Adam Let's take a little break. Matt Sorum here tonight. We'll be right back after this. Check this out.

24:28 Summer's never been hotter.

24:29 Drew The Olympics begin August 13th on the networks of NBC.

24:45 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline of Adam. That's Dr. Drama filling in for Dr. Drew. Matt Sorum is here tonight.

24:55 Velvet Revolver Nice.

24:55 Adam Super drummer, Matt Sorum.

24:57 Velvet Revolver I was supposed to come with Fab Moretti from The Strokes.

25:01 Adam What happened?

25:02 Velvet Revolver Fab's in New York hanging out.

25:04 Adam Oh, all right.

25:04 Velvet Revolver And he was supposed to come out and visit his girlfriend, Drew, and he was going to come down here with me.

25:10 Adam He has a girlfriend named Drew? Oh, well, this is-

25:14 Velvet Revolver You guys spell that the same? Well, he spells- Drew and Drew.

25:18 Adam Drew spells-

25:18 Velvet Revolver You know, the other Drew Barrymore.

25:20 Adam Spells the name Dramond. It's Dramond, yeah. Yeah, those are Drew and Drew. Okay, here's a good question. The two, you know, there's the chick version and the dude version of a lot of names. Drew and Drew, same, right?

25:34 Drew Spelling-wise, yeah. Yeah. Chris and Chris.

25:37 Adam Yeah, or Stevie. Maybe.

25:40 Velvet Revolver Stevie. Stevie.

25:41 Drew Or Sam and Sam.

25:43 Adam All right, maybe.

25:44 Velvet Revolver I've heard chicks named Sam. I like chicks named Sam, but that would be Samantha, but then the guy's version is just Sam.

25:49 Adam Any chick with a dude name is always a good thing, or goes terribly wrong, but there's a better chance of not, it's a good thing. All right, so here's the question then, Drew and Matt. Are there more, now are there more, you know, spelled the same names, the ambiguous names, or unisex names are the ones that are spelled differently?

26:10 Drew I think there's more kind of spelled the same, basically.

26:12 Adam You're probably right. Yeah, I thought it was a really crappy point I brought up.

26:16 Drew Thank you for the waste of one more time. Now we're gonna go to Sean, which is generally spelled differently.

26:22 Adam Yeah. Ah. Yes, very interesting. But we're not gonna go to Sean, we're gonna go to Courtney. No, we're going to Sean because I gotta make my point. Sean? You're, hold on, Sean, you're a dude? Get out of my face.

26:35 Drew Well, wait a minute, maybe that's how Brian spelled it.

26:38 Adam How do you spell your name, Sean?

26:39 S-E-A-N.

26:41 Drew There, see, S-E-A-N. But I've seen women, some occasionally do it that way. No, you haven't. Usually it's S-H-W-N, S-H-A-W-N.

26:51 Adam Those are dudes with small penises.

26:52 Drew What's up, Sean?

26:54 Adam No, I don't care about you anymore. We've cleared up his name. Now I wanna talk to the Virgin. Courtney?

27:01 Yeah.

27:02 Adam 16?

27:02 Yeah.

27:03 Adam What's up?

27:04 Well, my parents were gone for Friday and Saturday and me and my friends decided to go out, but like there wasn't anything going on, so we didn't do anything. And my parents found out and I got in big trouble. And then they started screaming at me that I'm not a Virgin anymore. They wanna put me on the pill and I have no reason to go on the pill.

27:24 Adam Well, wait a minute, just because you came home late?

27:27 Did I? No. They found out-

27:30 Drew They found out you did what?

27:31 What?

27:32 Drew They found out you did what?

27:33 They found out that I wasn't at the friend's house because they called and her dad answered.

27:37 Drew And what did you do?

27:38 I went home and I took what was coming for me. But I just want to convince them that I'm-

27:45 Drew Courtney.

27:45 Adam Hold on a second. The hymen on her brain has been broken. It's like-

27:49 Drew It's like it's over her ears.

27:51 Adam Yeah, yeah, she did take, yeah, it's right there. Courtney. I'm gonna need you to take a number two pencil and jam it into your ear so you can pop that membrane that keeps all the information from getting into your head. Now, thank you. Now, here's what we need. What were you doing?

28:08 Drew Instead, other than being at your friend's home, where were you and what were you doing?

28:12 Caller Well, we were behind the Western Express just talking. Like we were trying to find somewhere to go get drunk.

28:19 Adam You and a guy?

28:20 Caller No, me and like my three other friends and-

28:24 Adam What is the Western Express, by the way? The Western Express. You understand we're-

28:39 Drew A thousand miles away?

28:41 Adam Maybe more. Yeah. We're not out in Corvallis? No.

28:46 Drew We might not know where the Western Express or what the hell this is.

28:49 Adam Western Express. All right. Well, listen. All I know is every time I drive in from New York, right from JFK to Manhattan, I pass the Gaseteria. And I think to myself, that is a great name for a gas station. And why can't we have one out here?

29:06 Drew Neon lights.

29:07 Adam If we had a Gaseteria out here, I would drive out of it. Like if I was in the Valley and on E, I would drive over the hill to get to the Gaseteria out on like Pico and Venice or something, just to say I was seen at the Gaseteria. All right. So you're sitting behind the gas station.

29:24 Drew Anyway, your parents knew you were up to no good.

29:25 Adam Somehow they're hanging out with your friends.

29:27 Drew They figure this problem and being on the birth control pill may be just sort of an overreaction they're having to the whole situation that maybe the virgin issue is sort of a manner of symbolic virginity that you've sort of shown them that you're no longer chaste and that you're into things that they don't approve of. And oh, by the way, we're going to be sure you're protected if that's the way it's going to be.

29:47 Velvet Revolver You're three friends, were they guys, girls? What were they? All girls.

29:52 Drew But not an irrational thing to sort of want you on the, and I'm glad they're talking about the birth. There's a flip side to this. A, they're doing their job as parenting. They're involved in your life, maybe a little bit over involved. They're talking about the birth control, and I'll be at, they're not sort of presenting it in a way that makes it sort of useful to you, but at least they're on board. Courtney, I think more than anything, it's just you don't like the fact that they're coming down on you. That's what's most unpleasant. Forget how they're coming down on you.

30:18 Adam Well, and that they don't believe you, except for you're angry at them for not believing you about being a virgin when you just get them lying to them about some other activity.

30:28 Drew Right.

30:29 Caller No, actually I told them the whole truth.

30:31 Adam After they called and the guy's dad picked up and found.

30:34 Drew After they caught you lying.

30:35 Adam You told them the whole truth. Yeah, it's a confessing to a murder. You did not do the murder, you just confessed to it.

30:41 Drew Yeah, and by the way, just because you're now honest, doesn't make, doesn't take everything else away. Oh, I know.

30:49 Adam All right, all right, so look, your parents are overreacting. I don't think you have to be on the pill.

30:53 Drew But at least they're doing their job.

30:55 Adam I don't think, and they're just threatening. They're not gonna make you take the pill. And I don't, by the way, I don't think legally parents could make a kid take a pill. Do you think they could? I don't think they could. I mean, even if the kid's a minor, I don't think they could do that.

31:10 Drew You can make them take treatments, yeah.

31:11 Adam You make them take treatments, but I think you could argue that this is not a treatment, it's a prevention.

31:16 Velvet Revolver What kind of treatment?

31:18 Drew If they need psychiatric care or whatever, they could require them to take things.

31:21 Velvet Revolver Well, I think a girl being 16, parents are probably starting to think, hey, you know, she's gonna be getting up to some mischief soon.

31:27 Adam I'm hip. Maybe she just really has bad skin and her parents think she's gonna clear it up.

31:31 Drew You know, a 14-year-old gets an ammonia, says, I don't wanna take the antibiotics. Well, they're not in an age- The same kind of thing. They're in harm's way, they're not in a position to make judgments like that.

31:41 Adam Yeah, but I would guess you would have to prove that the person was in harm's way. I mean, if you wanted just to sort of go through the court system, her being a virgin is not a great case for the parents forcing her to take the pill. You know what I mean? If she'd had eight abortions and was going to lose her uterus, then I think you got a pretty good argument for forcing your minor to take the pill.

32:06 Velvet Revolver Don't you think they're just reacting to her lying to them and they're thinking, hey, you know, she's lying to us, so she must be getting laid.

32:12 Drew She must be doing all kinds of things.

32:15 Adam And here's the thing too, they're just threatening her. They're not going to go do it. Unless you do what my dad did with my sister, which is you crush it up and put it in her food.

32:23 Drew He still does that?

32:24 Adam Still doing it today. Yeah, you do it.

32:26 Drew That's a commitment.

32:28 Adam You get like when you want to get your dog, you can take it out of cereal or.

32:31 Drew Applesauce. Does he feed it, the spoon it in still? He would do it.

32:36 Adam He would do it in strain peas. Cause he had her on it, had her on about three or four. But she was really young. Cause North Hollywood's a little dicey. And a lot of girls lose their virginity, five or six over there. Yeah, so he had her on that. And then later on, he just started working it into solid foods, hash browns, things like that. He would crush it into a fine powder. I would see him every morning with the mortar and pestle. It just crushing up the birth control pills and evenly weighing them and then putting them into the.

33:04 Velvet Revolver Well, who came down on you more, Courtney? Your dad or your mom?

33:07 Adam Oh, that's a good question.

33:08 Velvet Revolver Is she still there?

33:09 Adam Yeah, Courtney?

33:10 Caller Yeah.

33:11 Adam Who came down more, your mom or your dad?

33:15 Drew Is there alcohols in your family somewhere?

33:17 Caller No, but I know my dad, the real big pothead.

33:20 Drew Yeah, because I just get, I get that they see a problem. They know there could be a problem. They're freaking out.

33:26 Adam All right, so here's the thing. Don't freak on your parents. They're just lying. They're not going to make you take this pill. Meanwhile, try not to get busted, all right? And look, that whole thing where I'm at, I'm at, I'm at. Your parents would pick up the phone and call where you're at. You got to say stuff like camping. First, I'm making noise. You got to say, you got to say like you're in the wilderness. You can't say, I'm going to be over at Jenny's house and Jenny says, I'm going to be over at Sherry's house. And then Jenny and Sherry's parents pick up the phone and call each other. You're not there. You can't do that.

33:53 Drew I'm putting a chip in my kids and just using a GPS system, that's it.

33:57 Adam He didn't have to do that, Drew. You just, here's what you've got to do, Drew. Again, you just got to fool your kids. What you do, just get a nice clean hypodermic needle from your office, right? It's sterilized in the package and everything. You just tell your kid, look, I got the chip. It's in this needle right here. You stab in the arm with it, they're like, ow! Okay, now I know where you are. That's it.

34:18 Velvet Revolver They have those for kids now, I've heard.

34:19 Adam I know, but why waste the money?

34:20 Velvet Revolver I've heard they have chips.

34:22 Adam They do. I'm just saying, you don't have to waste money. You just talk to your kids.

34:26 Drew It's like a big dramatic.

34:27 Adam The chip knows when you're smoking pot. The chip knows when you're getting a handy. The chip knows when you're giving a handy. You just got girls and boys. The chip knows when you're not staying. The chip knows everything. You just stand with that thing, they feel the break.

34:40 Velvet Revolver How much of that are they doing now with the chips? Very little, very little.

34:43 Drew But it's out there.

34:44 Velvet Revolver Isn't that, isn't that, isn't that, is that legal?

34:47 Adam Yeah, well, they do it to animals. They do it to pets and the attorney general of Mexico, by the way.

34:55 Drew Oh yeah, he did it with himself.

34:58 Adam The attorney general of Mexico.

35:00 Velvet Revolver In case he got lost or kidnapped or something.

35:03 Adam Kidnapped, yeah, there's so much kidnapping going on over there. And again, wonderful people, you can't judge.

35:09 Drew You can't judge the culture, you can't judge the culture.

35:12 Adam Everything's the same, everything's the same. All cultures are great, they're all beautiful. They just have a problem with kidnapping over there. And like they do in a lot of these land cultures, they like kidnapping, that's their thing, we can't judge.

35:27 Drew I was at dinner the other night and somebody said to me, goes, that's just a business in Mexico, just a business. Everyone accepted, just a way of doing business. You pay your money, get your person back, it's just business.

35:37 Adam No, we, for instance, we have textile mills. They kidnap and torture officials.

35:43 Drew It's just business.

35:43 Velvet Revolver Hey, I did a gig in Bogota, Columbia.

35:46 Drew Oh, with Guns N Roses, right?

35:48 Velvet Revolver And we landed, we landed, and we both guys, each guy in the band had two security guys. And we get to the hotel and there was a tank and guys with machine guns. And I was like, why are all those guys out in front with machine guns and that tank's there? And our manager's like, they're here to protect you guys. And we're like, from what?

36:06 Drew I was in Cartagena.

36:08 Velvet Revolver Kidnapping.

36:08 Drew Cartagena, and we had-

36:10 Adam Columbia's at war.

36:11 Drew I was in Cartagena with a group of businessmen and we had three or 4,000 machine gun guards and the Coast Guard cruising around. And we had to protect 500 businessmen.

36:20 Adam Oh, listen, Columbia- Let me tell you something about Columbia. Columbia's the nastiest place on earth. It is the meanest people in the world.

36:28 Velvet Revolver The cocaine is very cheap though, $7 a gram.

36:30 Adam Really?

36:30 Drew You can buy cocaine at the tank out there.

36:32 Adam Take everything back.

36:33 Velvet Revolver I bought the, actually, I bought cocaine off the guy that was in the tank.

36:38 Adam Ran into Manuel Noriega. He bought an eight ball for him and Duff. Holy Christ.

36:45 Velvet Revolver Oh yeah.

36:45 Adam Seven bucks.

36:46 Velvet Revolver It's all happening down there.

36:47 Adam Gotta get out of that way. Yeah, it's a crazy culture over there. It's tough. Like Roberto Duran is a Colombian, considered a pussy, by the way. The biggest pussy for me.

36:59 Drew That country's got a tremendous history.

37:01 Adam Great. But again, here's all I'm saying.

37:04 Drew Beautiful culture. Can't judge.

37:05 Adam Can't judge. It's not the people.

37:07 Velvet Revolver Some beautiful looking girls down there.

37:09 Adam Good looking chicks.

37:10 Velvet Revolver Good looking chicks.

37:11 Adam Yep, yep. And by the way, if you do about 20 bucks worth of Coke over there, like two and a half grams, everyone looks good. Penis doesn't work. Everything looks great. No, they do. Here's what they say about Colombia. You know what they do? They say, not me, not the white, not the round guy, not the white man. They say, it's a beautiful, beautiful country in mean, mean, mean people.

37:31 Drew Scary people.

37:34 Adam No, we can't judge. We cannot judge. It's just, there's a good chance you get killed if you go over there. That's all. That's all. They were just, during the whole drug thing, they were just killing everyone every day, every day, all the time. No, I mean, it's great. That's great. No, it's great. We can't judge. It's, everything's the same. There's no difference.

37:52 Drew You know, here's the, I always say, we had guys with machine guns surrounding us all the time, like hundreds and hundreds. And I thought to myself, all the drug cartels do is pay off one of these guys. They pay off one of these guys, he turns his gun on everybody. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?

38:06 Adam Well, they don't want to slaughter you. They want to get you out of there and then sell you back. But I mean, I mean.

38:12 Drew One guy in a helicopter then.

38:13 Adam During the whole, during the whole drug, oh, I mean, first off, I know we're going all over the place. Pablo Escobar, crazy stuff going on over there. There was a documentary called Killing Pablo. It's a crazy single world. It's like he wanted to get rid of an official. He put one of his guys on a commercial commercial flight. By the way, he just told his guys, this is one of his close guys like, hey, I want you to take this suitcase with you on your flight out, out, out to Costa Rica. Here you go. 150 people on a commercial flight took, took down the plane. The official wasn't even on the plane. He knew there was, this just a commercial flight with 150 citizens on it and one of his lieutenants, hey buddy, just take this suitcase on this flight. Would you buy it? The, the dignitary that he was trying to take down ended up not taking the flight. It took all commercial jetliner down and his, and his buddy, no problems.

39:09 Drew Can't judge.

39:10 Adam Well, again, we can't judge. It's the cultural thing. That's what they do. They take down commercial airliners over there and it's their beautiful people. We can't judge. But I'm just saying, oh, you get in a whole Pablo Escobar thing over there. Crazy violence, crazy violence. We'll take ourselves a little break.

39:29 Drew Fill the revolver.

39:30 Adam Fill the revolver, everybody. Well, listen, they've done some drugs in that band in their day.

39:34 Velvet Revolver We'll probably go back to Bogota, Colombia, too.

39:36 Drew So you're saying these guys support terrorism, are you suggesting?

39:38 Adam They support terrorism. Well, no, no, because let me explain how you support terrorism. You support terrorism by funding these groups that make money off of the drugs, where, with the huge markup, you know, I'm paying a hundred bucks a gram, sometimes more depending, you know, the ones around the, you know, New York, Manhattan. Matt and the boys, they go straight to Colombia, get their stuff.

40:02 Velvet Revolver Actually, I think the guys that were promoting the gig were all cartel drug dealers, actually.

40:07 Adam The profit is cut out. They take out the middle man, and that's where the profit is. Whatever.

40:12 Velvet Revolver Hey, we're just down there trying to rock the people, man.

40:14 Adam That's right.

40:14 Velvet Revolver They want to feel the freedom of the rock.

40:16 Adam And they're good people, and we can't judge.

40:17 Velvet Revolver Good people wanting to rock.

40:19 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this.

40:23 Velvet Revolver Loveline.

40:26 Adam You know, Drew, smelling good is more than a smell. It's an attitude.

40:31 Drew That's true, Adam.

40:32 Adam It is? How? Break down.

40:36 Drew Axe, deodorant, body spray. Can't lose.

41:02 Adam Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Matt Sorum is here tonight from Velvet Revolver. They're gonna be playing, let's see, Saturday. They're gonna be at Club Largo, and then Sunday, they're gonna be in Bogota, Columbia, actually playing a soccer venue. So, yeah, we will hear something from Velvet Revolver before the night is true. I think we'll hear something else in the 11 o'clock hour, and we'll get back to the phones, and we'll, let me ask you about, oh boy, let me ask you about Slash, by the way. I really like Slash. Actually, Slash and Duff are both what I would call sweet guys. They're nice, they're good, you know, like, there's guys.

41:49 Drew We're talking about Dog. I know he's going there.

41:52 Adam No, they're guys, the guys out there that are nice guys, that are pleasant guys.

41:56 Drew Like dogs that are certain breeds.

41:58 Adam Yeah, Slash, it's like, yeah, he's like a labrador. Yeah, he's very friendly.

42:02 Velvet Revolver You think he's a lab?

42:04 Adam He's not, he's not a smart, he's not a water dog. If he went to a pool, he'd drown. I think his hair would get wet, take him right down to the bottom.

42:11 Velvet Revolver But his hair is actually wet, it's down to his ankles.

42:14 Drew Sort of, it's a briard.

42:17 Adam Slash would attempt to smoke in the pool like three times and then realize it wasn't for him.

42:20 Velvet Revolver You know, he quit smoking for a while. For nine months, he went to a hypnotist.

42:24 Adam Really?

42:24 Velvet Revolver This groovy hypnotist guy that's out here in LA. He's got like 500 people on the waiting list. And he went in there three times, guy scared him to death, showed him pictures of livers and lungs ridden with soot.

42:38 Adam Sure.

42:38 Velvet Revolver And he came back like the poster child and I didn't even notice it first. We were rehearsing and he was smoking like three packs of cigarettes a day. I mean, from when he would put one out, he'd light another one. Oh yeah. And I didn't notice, I was all of a sudden, I didn't have to go home and dry clean my clothes. Right. I thought, oh my God.

42:56 Drew Magically it came back though.

42:58 Velvet Revolver Slash it quit.

42:59 Adam But he started up again.

43:00 Velvet Revolver He started up again. As soon as we started the tour, Slash is back to smoking.

43:03 Adam But he strikes me as a nice guy. I mean, you know, crazy at times, maybe a little left up, sometimes out of it, but a really nice guy.

43:14 Velvet Revolver No, very even keeled guy. You know, very shy actually. I mean, a lot of the reason his hair is in front of his eyes and he's got the top hat, he's a fairly introverted guy and just had another baby. He's got baby number two, Cash Hudson. That's why we came off tour. He had another kid with his wife.

43:32 Adam God bless him. I was just, I always thought, I don't know if people don't know slash, they must think he's just whatever, standoffish, or he thinks he's too cool for school or something, but he's really a sweet guy, really nice guy.

43:46 Velvet Revolver I think a lot of rock guitar players are like that. You're in your bedroom, you're a kid, you want to be a rock star, you're jumping around in front of a mirror with your guitar, doing the whole air guitar bit.

43:56 Adam Yeah, that was true. That was true. Replace guitar with stethoscope.

44:01 Velvet Revolver You did that, didn't you? Really? You play guitar, right Drew? No?

44:04 Adam Drew does nothing. Sinks after.

44:07 Velvet Revolver So that's slash. Joe Perry, he's another guy that's pretty shy. Jimmy Page, he's fairly quiet guy.

44:13 Adam Oh really?

44:13 Velvet Revolver Yeah.

44:14 Adam Oh, so maybe most lead guitar players are quiet.

44:17 Velvet Revolver Lead singers in general, I mean, they're like, you know, low self-esteem, big ego, attention mongers.

44:24 Adam Yeah.

44:24 Velvet Revolver Bass players are sort of a little bit, a little bit flaky usually. Kind of a little off. Drummers are crazy.

44:32 Adam Yeah, they're nuts.

44:33 Velvet Revolver Any good drummer is usually out of his mind completely.

44:37 Adam Yeah. Yeah, I'd like, Drew, that's what your next study should be by the way. No, just figure out the groups, you know what I mean?

44:43 Drew The rock band?

44:44 Adam Like the lead guitar is quiet, introverted. The lead singer has low self-esteem, but he lashes out. You see what I'm saying?

44:55 Drew Attachment problems.

44:55 Adam The bass player's a little flaky, just glad to be there kind of thing. And the drummer, drummer's got energy and could go off at any time. And I think historically this is proven out by, you know, your tooth moons and your tongue bottoms and all that stuff. Amy? Amy? Yeah. All right, so you're 14.

45:15 Drew What's up? Somebody listening? All right, mom's there. I think she let the F word go there.

45:21 Adam Does it count if you whisper the F word? Yes.

45:25 Drew She said, oh F.

45:26 Adam It was funny too, cause she's like, my mom's here. Oh, okay, so I'm gonna, I will use profanity on the airwaves, but I'll do it in a way that my mom won't be able to hear. Only North America can hear me. Great. She's a class act, this Amy.

45:42 Drew Yeah, she is indeed.

45:43 Adam Amy?

45:44 Drew Can you talk now?

45:49 Adam Okay, listen.

45:50 Drew Don't use the F word or the S word, okay? Sorry that you can't talk now.

46:01 Adam Is your mom there?

46:04 Drew Can you talk?

46:04 Adam You guys live in a small house? I grew up in a small house, it sucks. You know, it's nice to have an upstairs and a downstairs because, I forget it. Like when you're coming, you can hear your dad coming down the stairs, hear the stairs squeaking, you know, uh-oh, my dad's coming, I gotta go. You know, when you live in just a crappy little, you know, 1200 square foot apartment or there's none of that, they're on top of you. And the doors are holocore, you know, I can hear right through the door. You need, you need a nice squeaky staircase and a fat dad, you know what I mean? I would encourage my dad to get fat if I was a kid. Hey, daddy, eat up, here, eat my pudding. Have a second portion. You get a fat dad and a squeaky staircase, you're cool. That, that, that's like, that's a mark.

46:47 Velvet Revolver You know, in a stash, the mag.

46:48 Drew We don't have either of those things, but we do have to need to take a break right now.

46:51 Adam We gotta take a break. See, Drew, you got stairs at your house, but you're not fat enough and you've got carpet on the stairs and your staircase are formed. I don't think they're wooden. I think, I think you have concrete steps in your house.

47:03 Drew Yeah, I think I have both, actually.

47:04 Adam Okay, the concrete steps with the carpet on it and the thin dad, that's a zero. It's nothing. That's a ninja coming down the stairs.

47:11 Drew I'm the phantom, I'm a ninja in my house.

47:12 Adam Drew comes down on one of those cords, a zip cord. He comes from the pulley.

47:16 Drew Black hood with a little thing for my eyes.

47:18 Adam He does a shoulder roll and he pops up. You see his head pop up out of the kid's hand and then goes down again and then it pops out of the closet.

47:24 Drew Throw those little stars.

47:25 Velvet Revolver Where do you have the kids? Drew, on the same floor? Upstairs with you?

47:29 Drew That's what my needs are for you.

47:32 Adam Take a break. All right, Matt Sorum here, SuperDurham. We'll take a quick break. Be right back.

47:36 Velvet Revolver Alright guys, here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:41 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:42 Velvet Revolver Call the Dateline.

47:43 Caller 877-889-8.

47:45 Velvet Revolver Call the Dateline. This hour brought to you in part by Axe. Experience the Axe Effect.

48:07 Adam Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Matt Sorum is here tonight. From Velvet Revolver. Played with The Colt and Guns N Roses and many other bands. Who's the, what do you think your, I don't know, who's the best?

48:31 Velvet Revolver I would say that Velvet Revolver has been my best experience yet.

48:35 Drew Good answer.

48:36 Adam That's a good answer.

48:36 Velvet Revolver Dean, you know why?

48:37 Adam Why?

48:38 Velvet Revolver I'm an original member.

48:39 Adam Oh yeah, you don't get that, yeah.

48:41 Velvet Revolver I always replace guys in those other bands. I was the drummer that replaced the guy in The Colt. And then I was the drummer who replaced Stephen Adler in Guns N Roses. This band actually, I know it's kind of like other bands and all that stuff, but it's a new band and I'm the original drummer.

49:00 Adam You know what he is? He's the Ted McGinley of drummers. Ted McGinley is that actor that replaced the guy from Married with Children, became the neighbor guy. Then he replaced the other guy on Happy Days. He keeps replacing guys on shows.

49:13 Drew But when he replaces guys, the shows end.

49:16 Adam You know what? They say that, because I know there was the Ted McGinley curse, but the shows end up going, you know, he replaced the neighbor guy from Married with Children. And yes, the show ended seven seasons later. I mean, you know, it's unfair to say.

49:31 Velvet Revolver But you know, it's a good feeling for me. Yes, to be there. I've done a lot of stuff. You know, I've got the big career, I got the resume, the whole deal. But just starting your own thing and having to be successful is very fulfilling and gratifying.

49:44 Adam Yeah, and you got in on the ground floor. That's what I'm saying. All right, and we will hear something else from Velvet Revolver before the night is true. Amy.

49:56 Drew Can you talk now? What's going on? Amy. That's when you talk right now.

50:07 Adam Okay, all right, listen, please, hold on. Let me just say something very quickly. Calling all tarts, attention all tarts. Stop calling this goddamn show. It's been, I'm calling on nine years of you idiots calling the show.

50:21 Drew Oh, just the tarts not to call.

50:23 Adam Yeah.

50:23 Drew But anyway, does call. Prepare to actually speak.

50:27 Caller What? No, yeah, go on.

50:29 Drew When we put you on the air.

50:30 Adam I've been here for nine years. One out of every five calls from a teenager, they act like you called them and they're in the movie theater. Like it's as if they're sitting in the theater and their cell phone rings.

50:41 Velvet Revolver Are they choked up? Or is it like one of those, like when you're in a dream and you can't talk?

50:46 Drew No, no.

50:47 Adam I don't know what it is.

50:48 Drew They're put off. We're bothering them.

50:50 Adam They're bothering them. It's like if they're in a theater and their cell phone rang and Adam and Drew were on the other line, how you doing? What's going on? Oh Christ.

50:59 Velvet Revolver Listen, can we talk? Well, you guys have been on for nine years. It's like you're in their living room every night.

51:04 Adam Maybe.

51:05 Velvet Revolver It's like you're part of the family.

51:06 Drew What are you saying? Is it bored with us?

51:08 Velvet Revolver No, I don't mean that. But you guys, they know you.

51:12 Drew Let's try it.

51:13 Caller I can't.

51:14 Adam Amy?

51:15 Drew Okay, here we go.

51:23 Caller And then it hurts like a few minutes after it. And then it kind of goes away.

51:26 Drew All right, that's an infection, Amy. You need to get that seen by a doctor immediately. You're having sex with him? It could be something called honeymoon cystitis, where the bacteria around your vagina gets forced into your bladder and causes a bladder infection. The problem with that is it can get up into your kidneys rather quickly and cause a very serious infection. So you need to get that treated now. The other possibility, this is also the symptoms of a sexually transmitted disease, if you get a discharge and burning when you pee. Now, if both of you have been virgins and not been with anybody else, that makes that less likely. And certainly urinary tract infections are very, very common. But you're 14, you're having sex at 14. You can't even handle the basic biological realities.

52:10 Velvet Revolver I hear a lot from girls that if you're having a lot of sex, there's a lot of problems with yeast infections.

52:15 Drew Some women, yes, some women, no. But that doesn't cause burning when you pee like this.

52:19 Adam Hey, Amy.

52:20 Drew This is this disuria, this urgency and all that stuff is all.

52:22 Adam How old is your boyfriend? 16, yeah. That's a little creepy. That's a big two years, that 16, 14 thing.

52:30 Drew Just the 14 is creepy. 14 with anybody is creepy.

52:33 Adam Yeah, I know, but 14 on 14 is, same grade young sex is not as creepy. What grade is your boyfriend in? Oh, I see now, this is getting creepy, yeah.

52:47 Drew She's a freshman.

52:48 Adam He's senior and you're in the ninth grade?

52:51 Drew Going into the ninth.

52:51 Adam Going into the ninth grade.

52:53 Drew He's going into the 12th grade. Yeah, yeah. Senior and freshman.

52:57 Adam No, no, no, no, okay. All right, so go to the doctor. And by the way, I've been screaming about this for.

53:02 Drew The name of this has to be treated. The kidney infection's gonna be very serious from this.

53:05 Adam It's something I've been screaming about for a while. No one ever listens to me. By the way, a couple things. First off.

53:10 Velvet Revolver You think the guy's too old for her? Or she shouldn't be having sex with him?

53:13 Drew She's four to one. The point is, there's really clear scientific evidence that the brain isn't developed sufficiently to handle all the emotional realities that come with this kind of intimacy until you're about 16, most people. And even then, most people are not of an age for developmental maturity where they can handle it. She can't even handle the basic biological responsibility. She's got a bladder infection from sex, sitting around wondering what it was. Meantime, this thing's getting up into her kidneys and cause kidney failure. I mean, that's a serious deal. She can't tell anybody about it. It's secretive. She doesn't understand it.

53:47 Velvet Revolver Okay, where can she go and get this taken care of then without going to the doctor that knows of her parents?

53:54 Drew Anywhere you go, your care will be confidential. It's illegal for doctors to tell your parents anything. You can go to Planned Parenthood, who are really designed to take care of a teenager and adolescent.

54:04 Adam Let's go to Planned Parenthood. All right, so now, here's the thing. Couple of things I've been railing about for a few months is one is, is really, can someone invent a microwave that you put metal in? It'd be real nice. I had a burrito tonight, had to surgically take the thing. Needed a shot. I took it home. And you know, stuff, you just needs a shot in the microwave. You know that thing where you go get a little Mexican food and you bring it home and it's like, it just needs a blast in the microwave.

54:29 Drew You need about 20, 30 seconds. Why don't we decrease the reliance on metallic substances?

54:31 Velvet Revolver They do the tin foil underneath the paper. Yeah, yeah. They do the triple thing.

54:35 Adam Yeah, they screw with you. So you gotta take the whole goddamn thing apart before it goes into the thing. I'm just saying, the microwave has been around for 40 years now. Let's go ahead and work one out that works with a little metal in there, huh?

54:47 Velvet Revolver It's just like they forget about it and go on to something else.

54:50 Adam Put the Italian, you know, the Italian food container, you know, the one, the metal one that has the lid, the little plastic lid on it, slide that whole thing in. There's nothing worse than the transference of the old food, especially when it's a greasy stuff and it hardens, you know what I mean? You know, when you're scraping the container and you're putting it onto the plate, it would be nice to slide the whole thing in. That's all I'm saying. Okay, that's one thing I want them to work on. That's all I'm saying. It doesn't seem like that tall an order.

55:15 Velvet Revolver You just put it out there, man.

55:16 Adam Just putting it out, just let's get to work on that. Number one, number two, when I was in junior high, it was seventh, eighth and ninth grade, and then you got to high school, 10th, 11th and 12th.

55:27 Drew That was probably a smart way to do it.

55:29 Adam Now somebody decided some years ago, we gotta throw the ninth graders in with the high schoolers. Anyone who's in your high school is fair game sexually when you're in high school. Now you got guys, sometimes 18, sometimes 19, if you missed a grade, you got held back. I'm guessing Duff was probably in his mid 20s, still going to high school.

55:48 Drew Slash.

55:49 Adam Slash, Slash was 31 when he was going to Granada High. And now you got chicks. Now once in a while, also you got chicks that made it the other way. They're young, whatever, they're 14, you know, 13, 14, whatever. You got a bunch of 14 year olds running around with a bunch of guys that are chain smoking and driving El Caminos and it's fresh meat and it's game on. I mean, would you know your kids are gonna attend your alumni of your alma mater, the Little Lord, Fauntleroy School for albino hemophiliacs. But if they went to a regular high school, could you imagine your daughter, 14 years old, the bunch of guys that have licenses that are smoking and drinking Mickey's Big Mouth at the park and stuff, they're pulling up in a Camaro covered with Bondo, an I Rock, an I Rock C, got the Kragers, face right letters, torque twister tires on it, you know what I mean? Like a bunch of dudes. I mean a dude at 18 is good to go. Your penis can never gonna cause more damage than it does at 18.

56:48 Velvet Revolver Okay, but the 18 year old dude with the 14 year old chick, that's not acceptable, is it Drew?

56:52 Adam I know, I'm saying.

56:53 Velvet Revolver Okay, but the 17 and 11 month year old dude is cool with that. No, that's a good thing.

57:00 Adam I'm just saying, whoever decided, hey, we gotta take the ninth graders and slide them into high school, I think was, didn't think this thing out completely. All right, that's all I'm saying. And that's how all the public schools are out here. I mean, imagine you're going out to school at Sun Valley out here or something.

57:17 Velvet Revolver You know, that's more how it is in Europe, isn't it? The school system there. They keep them up, they keep them in a different school system up until about, which would be equivalent to the ninth grade.

57:28 Adam Yeah, they're not animals over there though.

57:30 Drew We got, we got civilization.

57:31 Adam They have civilizational rules and stuff. We just have anarchy and chaos and guys with boners and guns.

57:36 Drew You know, the other thing was, the Americans only kind of thing went from, from barbarism to decadence without going through civilization.

57:41 Adam Yeah, we never made it. We just, just a bunch of guys, bunch of gang bangers with boners. That's all high school. Guys and gangs with boners. Boner gangs, they call them. They run wild. Yeah. Dustin, I was in the South Side Chubs, we call ourselves, yeah. Dustin?

58:02 Yes, sir.

58:03 Adam You're 24?

58:04 Caller I am, I had a question for you. Every time I have an orgasm, I feel really sleepy right afterwards.

58:11 Drew That's normal, there's a surge of certain neurochemicals that cause that in men. In women, they have a different chemical that goes up, sort of the adrenergic system is stimulated, which makes them want to talk, makes them awake.

58:24 Velvet Revolver Wasn't that Eddie Murphy that said, I have sex for three minutes and I got to sleep for three hours?

58:28 Adam Yeah. So they said, you're a great black guy, man. By the way, and let me just say this, ladies, ladies are like, why do you guys get so tired after sex? Here's the thing, we're tired all the time. It's just, when we think we're gonna get sex, we wake up a little bit, we get it together, we rally.

58:47 Drew And then there's a surge of chemical.

58:49 Adam And then we go back to where we are.

58:50 Velvet Revolver Love is a drug, man, isn't it?

58:52 Drew Well, you've heard David Alan Greer, how he experiences his love making.

58:55 Adam Yes, yes. I think David Alan Greer, I think, summed it up best, this what Dustin is talking about when he did this.

59:02 Drew He acted it out for us.

59:03 Adam He acted it out for us during Love Unloved.

59:05 Velvet Revolver Don't look at me.

59:06 Drew I will give you something to smile about.

59:25 Adam That's what it's like.

59:27 Drew Yeah, that is what it is like. That was the best rendition of the male experience I've ever heard.

59:37 Adam No further than David Allen.

59:39 Drew That's right, it's just there it is, and it's all its glory.

59:41 Adam That's what it is. Sorry, don't worry about it, though. And then, I don't know why guys want to sleep. Well, actually, we want to get out of talking.

59:51 Drew No, no, it's actually a difference in the chemistry.

59:53 Adam No, I understand that, but you got to ask why does nature, you know what I mean?

59:57 Drew Why does nature do that?

59:58 Adam But here's the whole thing.

1:00:00 Drew Why does nature do that?

1:00:01 Adam Okay, look at it this way, Drew. We were having a lot of conversation and contact that we probably didn't want to have except for to get laid.

1:00:11 Drew Right.

1:00:12 Adam And we've had an ass full of the, oh my God, I can't believe what's her name from work, said that, and all that, oh, you're totally right, and I'm like, please, can we have sex? Oh, yes, no, yeah, we're gonna eat, we're gonna talk about this, and then when we're done, it's not that we're tired from sex, we're tired from the talking that went into getting you into bed. And we no longer process any more information.

1:00:33 Drew Let's evaluate what Nature might have been doing. Maybe it was Nature didn't want man getting back up and going, looking for some more action somewhere else.

1:00:39 Adam Spreading his seed, yeah.

1:00:40 Drew And they wanted the woman to kind of stick around and look over the product here, make sure he doesn't get away, like a prey.

1:00:47 Adam It was good, yes. Nature said, we don't need him impregnating someone in another cave.

1:00:53 Drew And by the way, taking some disease with him to another woman or something.

1:00:56 Adam Right, we should put him to bed.

1:00:57 Drew Put him down.

1:00:58 Adam Put him down, that's right, okay.

1:01:01 Drew And then the woman's got to stand over and watch guard, make sure the animals get up, make sure that some other woman doesn't come up and wake him up and get going again. It's true, right?

1:01:15 Adam Yeah, no, listen, Drew, your next book should be, What Did Nature Want? You know what I mean? Why does this happen? Why do we have our nipples? Do it, what does nature want?

1:01:26 Drew What does nature want?

1:01:26 Adam You'll never do that.

1:01:28 Drew The hell I want, we could knock that one off.

1:01:30 Adam I remember six months ago, you said, we're gonna do the best of Loveline, you're gonna record every night, you're gonna.

1:01:34 Drew Okay, I put that together and you guess what happened. I talked to everybody about it and they went, you don't know that.

1:01:40 Adam You talked to nobody.

1:01:41 Drew I did.

1:01:41 Adam Okay, just do the name, the name of your next book.

1:01:44 Drew What Nature Wants.

1:01:44 Adam What Nature Wants.

1:01:45 Drew Or what they want, that's fine, what nature wanted.

1:01:48 Adam I don't know.

1:01:48 Drew What nature wants, all right, just don't screw it up.

1:01:51 Velvet Revolver Maybe there's a lot of carbs in sex. Seems when I eat a big bowl of cereal before I go to sleep, I sleep better.

1:01:58 Drew So there's female juices, female secretions.

1:02:02 Velvet Revolver I mean, you know what I'm saying, Drew?

1:02:04 Drew That's all mucopolysaccharides, those aren't really.

1:02:06 Velvet Revolver You think there's some carbs going on there?

1:02:07 Drew No, not anything close to a bowl of cereal.

1:02:10 Velvet Revolver Nice calming, you know, effect?

1:02:13 Adam No.

1:02:14 Velvet Revolver No, just a question for Drew.

1:02:16 Drew No, it's not what nature wants.

1:02:17 Adam Nature doesn't want that.

1:02:20 Velvet Revolver Just out grazing, you know.

1:02:22 Adam Sean?

1:02:23 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:02:24 Adam You're 26?

1:02:25 Caller Yeah.

1:02:26 Drew Nature does want you to eat like a half an elk and then go to sleep. So after a big meat meal, you will go to sleep.

1:02:32 Adam Yeah, that's another thing too, yeah.

1:02:34 Drew And then wake up.

1:02:34 Velvet Revolver Wait, you just said it, Drew. The woman is eating the meat and the man is eating the carbs. That's what's happening.

1:02:42 Adam No, no, she's staying up. She's eating the meat.

1:02:44 Drew No, she's eating the meat, she stays awake.

1:02:46 Adam And why does nature want you to go to bed after you eat a big steak?

1:02:49 Drew Yeah, because it takes a lot of energy to metabolize protein.

1:02:52 Adam Oh, so you got to rest. Yeah. See, that's chapter three. Why you got a nap after a steak?

1:02:59 Drew What nature wants. That is a great idea.

1:03:02 Adam No, there's a lot.

1:03:03 Drew I eat six a day, you can knock it off in an afternoon.

1:03:05 Velvet Revolver Like turkey.

1:03:05 Drew It's a weekend.

1:03:06 Velvet Revolver You know, when you get done eating a turkey, you gotta crash.

1:03:09 Adam Yeah.

1:03:10 Drew But that turkey is even higher in tryptophan. And so that, that's.

1:03:14 Velvet Revolver So maybe there's some tryptophan in the vagina.

1:03:17 Drew No, there isn't though.

1:03:20 Adam I don't know, Matt's a drummer. I gotta agree with Matt.

1:03:23 Velvet Revolver I'm just thinking, man. I'm trying to think here. I'm just asking questions of Dr. Drew. Is there tryptophan in the, can I say pussy?

1:03:30 Adam I guess you can, yeah, I guess. We're talking about vaginas. Like on one hand, well, this guy has a medical degree. On the other hand, this guy's banging so much trouble on the road. He's practically a gynecologist. It's kind of a toss up.

1:03:41 Velvet Revolver I keep chicks around just so I can have a good nap. That's my thing.

1:03:44 Adam Yeah, I'm trying to think who I should side with.

1:03:47 Velvet Revolver Honey, can you come over? I want to take a nap. That's what I want to do.

1:03:49 Drew Sean, 26.

1:03:52 Caller I had a quick question about, well, let's see. I don't have any sensation in my orgasm. I was wondering, is there any way to get that back?

1:04:01 Drew You have no sensation. You have zero sensation when you orgasm?

1:04:06 Caller Yeah, it's pretty much just like peeing.

1:04:08 Adam Really?

1:04:09 Drew How often do you, just for masturbation?

1:04:14 Caller Once every two days. Hour.

1:04:17 Drew You're masturbating every two days.

1:04:18 Adam Every two days?

1:04:20 Drew Oh, I see. I need a bunch of information. You're ejaculating only once every two days.

1:04:24 Caller Well, no. Like, sometimes once a day, sometimes once every other day.

1:04:30 Drew And you have no medical problems?

1:04:32 Caller No.

1:04:33 Drew You're not diabetic or something like that?

1:04:35 Caller I just like sort of went away. You know, like.

1:04:38 Drew Sean, I got it. Now, Sean, let me ask the questions. Are you obese?

1:04:45 Caller A little bit, yeah.

1:04:47 Drew And you had back injuries, orthopedic injuries, anything like that?

1:04:51 Adam Let me figure out what size and pieces.

1:04:52 Drew Are you on medication? You on medication? Go ahead and figure out the obese size.

1:04:57 Adam Well, how tall are you?

1:05:00 Caller 5'9 and a half.

1:05:02 Adam That half always, I just added 30 pounds. By the way, hold on a second. Whenever you're talking to a chick and you hear a half, go ahead and add 25, 30 pounds. I know whatever they take. They're stretching as long. All right, Sean. So 5'9 and a half, what's the weight?

1:05:18 Caller 190.

1:05:20 Adam A little obese?

1:05:22 Drew Just overweight.

1:05:23 Adam I mean, depending on what your build is, it's not even overweight.

1:05:30 Drew And no history of trauma or physical or sexual abuse would lead you to sort of a psychological block?

1:05:36 Caller No sexual abuse.

1:05:39 Drew But no, you weren't beaten or anything.

1:05:42 Adam Speaking of beating, well, why are you beating off a few times a week if you get no sensation out of it?

1:05:47 Caller Oh, I still get excited. You know, I just, I don't know if I don't like to wash like sticky underwear. You know, do you get that crusty underwear?

1:05:58 Adam Full of crap.

1:05:59 Drew Yeah, it's bogus.

1:06:00 Adam Yeah. You get that crusty. Oh, man. Yeah, because if you don't beat off for like two and a half days, you'll just start spontaneously ejaculating.

1:06:09 Drew You'll just overflow semen.

1:06:10 Adam Even if you're walking down the street and there's semen dripping down your leg, you'll explode. It's tough on long car trips and stuff with the folks.

1:06:17 Drew Sean, 88 minutes for that, Sean.

1:06:20 Adam Good times. Sean's been a hold for 88, 81 minutes. Yeah. All right. What are we going to do, Drew? You want to take a break? Just found out she's pregnant. Methods of abortion.

1:06:32 Caller That's depressing. A question for Matt.

1:06:34 Adam A question for Matt about doing a little rock and roll drama. Megan?

1:06:38 Yes.

1:06:39 Adam You're 19?

1:06:40 Caller Yes, I am. I'm so excited.

1:06:44 Adam What's up, baby doc?

1:06:46 Caller Hello. I just wanted to say thank you to you and Drew. And I'm echoing in my cell phone, so sorry.

1:06:54 Drew We hear you. You're not echoing to us. It's fine.

1:06:56 Caller What's that?

1:06:57 Drew You're not echoing for us.

1:06:59 Adam Hold on, Drew. Don't ever talk.

1:07:01 Drew I know.

1:07:01 Caller Don't ever talk. Please.

1:07:03 Adam It's always, I'm sorry, then it's a stop, then it's a screw up.

1:07:06 Just don't talk, please.

1:07:07 Adam Now, don't even answer me. Don't talk.

1:07:11 Caller Good.

1:07:12 Adam He nodded.

1:07:13 Caller Megan? I just wanted to say thank you to you guys. I went through a long period of depression and I listened to your show every night and just that little bit, Adam Drew, little jokes just brightened my night and I mean, I could get through the rest of the day. And I fully recovered now and also I was raised very conservative Catholic. So when I listened to your guys, it broadened my horizon, broadened my sexual horizon. I mean, now I'm more accepting than I was back then. And I also wanted to say hi to Matt and Velvet Revolver is the most awesome band ever. I can't stop listening to the CD.

1:07:47 Velvet Revolver Thank you very much.

1:07:49 Caller You're welcome.

1:07:50 Velvet Revolver Hope that inspires you as well.

1:07:51 Caller I was doing pretty good imitations of Scott on the stage. I saw you guys at Weenie Roast and it was the most amazing show ever.

1:07:59 Adam Well, you know, I think Megan's got kind of a crappy line. Drew nodded, by the way, acknowledging the compliment that you gave us. Thank you. We will hear something from Velvet Revolver. Well, I think...

1:08:14 Velvet Revolver This is the ballad. This is the next single that's coming out. Well, you guys are playing it already on K-Rock, but I think it's coming out next month. We're going to make the video this weekend.

1:08:23 Adam Can you, can we...

1:08:25 Velvet Revolver And I just asked Rodney Bingenheimer to be in the video.

1:08:28 Adam Oh really?

1:08:29 Velvet Revolver Yeah, because it's going to be a...

1:08:31 Adam Double Godhead.

1:08:32 Velvet Revolver Well, check it out. It's going to be a period piece. It's going to take place in like 1979. And we're going to recreate... There was a club on Crescent Heights and Santa Monica Boulevard called Starwood back in the day. And there was a very cool scene there. And Rodney had his disco there. It was called Rodney's New Wave Disco. But the parking lot was very mixed in those days. It was like glam rockers, early punks, like there was bands like The Germs and Fear and those kind of bands that came out of Orange County, TSOL.

1:09:02 Drew I just remember a lot of people wearing brown in the parking lot.

1:09:06 Velvet Revolver And there was a lot of drug dealers in that parking lot, too. There used to be a lot of dudes selling Shurm cigarettes, laced with PCP. That was always cool to be on PCP.

1:09:15 Adam The Shurm days.

1:09:16 Velvet Revolver But yeah, so we're going to do that this weekend.

1:09:18 Adam So that was Sunset and Crescent Heights, right?

1:09:21 Velvet Revolver No, Santa Monica.

1:09:22 Adam Santa Monica and Crescent Heights.

1:09:24 Velvet Revolver It was a lot like the whiskey at GoGo, but they tore it down. There was a guy there that used to run the joint and his name was Eddie Nash. And he got involved in the famous Laurel Canyon murders.

1:09:35 Adam The John Holmes stuff, yeah.

1:09:39 Velvet Revolver And he was the manager and ran the club. So after all that stuff went down, things kind of went downhill.

1:09:45 Adam I'll tell you, they slide under the radar a little. Everyone hates attorneys. And then if you're in this business, you hate publicists and stuff. I'll tell you one of the diciest of all professions, club owner, the guy who owns a couple of clubs, because club owner, you got, you got, he encompasses all the horrible attributes of the attorney and of the publicist and stuff, mixed in with a little, hey, I'll pistol whip your ass and rape you.

1:10:13 Velvet Revolver Well, look, I actually played the Starwood when I was in, I came to Hollywood in my early teens and I played there. I used to have Sunday Night, amateur rock band night, and I went in to get paid at the office, the band, and he offered me Quaaludes.

1:10:25 Adam That's what I'm saying.

1:10:27 Velvet Revolver Or money. That's what I'm saying. And I was like, great. I think, you know, it was like 75 bucks or something so we could get gas to get back to Orange County. But, you know, it was either Quaaludes or cash.

1:10:38 Adam I'm saying, like, when somebody says, like, yeah, oh, my daughter's seen a guy, what's he doing? He owns a couple of clubs.

1:10:45 Velvet Revolver Plus, the guy was looking at me kind of strange, if you know what I mean.

1:10:49 Adam Yeah, yeah. It's a club. They're sexually ambivalent in the sense they'll F anyone who comes into the room or kill anyone. They might F you, they might kill you, they might fill you full of drugs. There's always something going some murky deep dark thing.

1:11:04 Velvet Revolver He was wearing one of those kind of silk jackets, you know, from the 80s. Remember those things? Or it was, like, members only or whatever the thing was. It was just in kind of greasy hair.

1:11:13 Adam Yeah, he did a little time in the joint for that whole Wonderland slot. I think it went on up there. Yeah, Drew remembers that. Drew, please tell me you had a members only jacket in 1979.

1:11:24 Drew I had a friend that did.

1:11:27 Caller You know, those are back.

1:11:28 Velvet Revolver Kids are wearing them again, man.

1:11:29 Adam I know.

1:11:31 Velvet Revolver I've seen some kids wearing members only, and I'm like, that was never cool.

1:11:35 Drew You have to have not been in the 70s to pull that off.

1:11:38 Adam Alright, let's take ourselves a little break. Matt Sorum is here tonight from Velvet Revolver. We'll hear something off the new CD after this.

1:11:55 Caller The summer's never been hotter. The Olympics begin August 13th on the networks of NBC.

1:12:14 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Matt Sorum is here tonight. Rock and roll drummer, extraordinary. Now with Velvet. Yeah, that would have been him.

1:12:25 Velvet Revolver Isn't that like what they do at the end of a joke?

1:12:27 Adam They-

1:12:30 Velvet Revolver A bad joke.

1:12:31 Adam That's what they do.

1:12:32 Velvet Revolver I don't like that.

1:12:33 Adam I know, it seems like an insult, but it also, it is apropos to a rock and roll drummer who makes a drum sound, a thump, thump. You know, the thing about engineer Anderson, ever since we moved out of Westwood 1 over to here, he's become brazen. Yeah. He plays insulting quotes to the guests and realize there's no way they're gonna find him.

1:12:56 Velvet Revolver Understand what you're gonna do?

1:12:57 Drew I've been doing that since before.

1:12:59 Adam No, I know, but what's Matt gonna do? Crawl through the microphone and kick your ass? He doesn't know what he got.

1:13:03 Drew Remember Janine Garofalo?

1:13:05 Adam Janine Garofalo? What'd I do?

1:13:07 Drew No, it was me and she got so pissed off she left.

1:13:10 Caller Oh, yeah, yeah.

1:13:11 Adam What did you play?

1:13:13 Caller I think you're a lesbian.

1:13:15 Caller Oh.

1:13:17 Caller And bitch, she didn't like bitch much.

1:13:20 Drew I think you weren't there that night. I don't think Adam was there.

1:13:22 Caller Oh, well, there was a problem. That's why, yeah, I was the mean one.

1:13:25 Drew You mean-spirited, you're mean, you're a mean, awful person.

1:13:28 Adam Oh, I had trouble with, well, something happened. Janine Garofalo, something happened to her a few months ago where she, instead of being funny, got just really bitter and weird and freaking everyone out now. Maybe she needs a CAT scan or something.

1:13:42 Velvet Revolver Refresh my memory on who that is, actually. Who is that again?

1:13:45 Adam Janine Garofalo is a stand-up comedic actress who was like, she was the girl buddy of the hot chick in about every movie from like 1995 to like 2001 or something. She's did a ton of stuff.

1:14:04 Drew She did that thing about the pet talk show.

1:14:06 Adam Tons of good movies, you'd recognize her in a second. And then about two years ago, decided to stop eating and stop telling jokes and just got angry. And I don't know what the hell happened, but something happened and I'm not sure what it was, but it wasn't good. Anyway, a dear friend though, and wish her well. Don't get me wrong.

1:14:29 Drew You're a lesbian.

1:14:30 Adam Thank you. That's a Dr. Drew, engineer Chris, pull up a list of a top 10 Janine Garofalo movies. So Matt will know exactly who we're talking about. All right.

1:14:43 Velvet Revolver Could be that low carb diet again. You know, not calming, angry.

1:14:48 Adam Yeah.

1:14:49 Velvet Revolver Do you, Drew, do you find that people that eat a high protein diet are a little edgy?

1:14:54 Drew I don't.

1:14:57 Adam Drew, stop arguing with our guests.

1:14:59 Velvet Revolver I'm just, you know, I'm here.

1:15:00 Drew I was looking for an answer.

1:15:01 Velvet Revolver I never can get through on the phone. I try to call, but you know, it's cool.

1:15:04 Adam Drew, what about, what about mood? I mean, what about guys, you know, eating nothing but steaks and chops as opposed to pasta and bagels? Is anyone any different now? Does it make a difference? Is there more testosterone?

1:15:18 Velvet Revolver Maybe a little bit.

1:15:18 Adam Talk about meat eaters and that kind of thing.

1:15:21 Drew But again, you see, your body adjusts to background. You know, if you're doing something all the time, that just becomes the background. If you're changing it up all the time, you can change how you feel.

1:15:32 Velvet Revolver But isn't carbohydrates more of a brain food?

1:15:36 Drew Not necessarily. I mean, your brain uses glucose, but it gets it from your liver.

1:15:39 Adam Speaking of, yeah, imagine what slash his liver's giving him.

1:15:45 Caller Just like I am.

1:15:47 Velvet Revolver You know, the writer backstage, we have a juicer backstage now, believe it or not.

1:15:50 Drew Oh, really?

1:15:52 Velvet Revolver We have a juicer, a juice man.

1:15:54 Adam Yeah, oh, so when Velvet Revolver performs, there's got to be the guy with the juice tiger and the crazy eyebrows who's sitting there talking about the assets.

1:16:03 Velvet Revolver We got all that. And he's actually the guy, we have the guy backstage doing the juice with the celery.

1:16:09 Adam What do you do?

1:16:10 Velvet Revolver We do celery, you know, carrot, a little ginger, some beet.

1:16:15 Adam Beet's nice. I do an ABC, apple, beet, carrot, nice.

1:16:20 Velvet Revolver You know, it's replaced the agameister, but that's cool. You know, it's-

1:16:24 Adam Let me tell you something about the juice. You know, you get yourself some nice OJ going, hey, if you got to dump a little Kamchatka in there, so be it. You know what I mean?

1:16:34 Velvet Revolver What?

1:16:34 Adam I'm just saying, it's nothing that says that after a tough gig, you can't dump a little vodka into the juice and drink it.

1:16:40 Velvet Revolver You know, I was talking to-

1:16:41 Drew I was gonna say you can't slam heroin either. What are you talking about?

1:16:43 Adam No, I'm just saying-

1:16:45 Velvet Revolver Speaking of juice, a friend of mine, another drummer friend of mine, Tommy Lee, I had a discussion with him the other night about juice. He's a big believer in the pineapple juice.

1:16:57 Adam Oh, coming through the penis?

1:16:58 Velvet Revolver Well, yeah. It makes the semen taste better. And his drink of the evening would be a vodka pineapple.

1:17:06 Adam I see.

1:17:07 Velvet Revolver And that's what he drinks throughout the night. And, Drew, have you heard this?

1:17:12 Drew We've heard it. We actually tested it. And people couldn't identify the pineapple.

1:17:16 Velvet Revolver Who tested it?

1:17:16 Drew This show, this show tested it.

1:17:19 Velvet Revolver True.

1:17:20 Adam It's called Blue Six Samoan.

1:17:22 Velvet Revolver See, there's Adam over in the corner again.

1:17:25 Adam Well, Drew, you want to know the weird thing?

1:17:26 Drew It's called auto-inoculation.

1:17:29 Adam I wasn't on this show when I heard that show.

1:17:32 Drew Really?

1:17:32 Adam I think it was you and poor man.

1:17:34 Drew Yeah, it was like 15 years ago.

1:17:35 Adam I was like driving my car around.

1:17:37 Velvet Revolver I've been eating pineapple like crazy. I just keep forgetting to ask my girlfriend.

1:17:41 Adam Yeah. Tommy Lee, it's got such a long pipeline. By the time it gets out, it loses its...

1:17:46 Velvet Revolver So the test did not come up. The survey says no.

1:17:51 Adam Survey, yeah.

1:17:51 Drew Just that they couldn't identify it. They couldn't tell. If you blind them, people can't tell the difference.

1:17:55 Velvet Revolver Really?

1:17:55 Adam Let me say this, Drew.

1:17:57 Drew If you suggest it, they're like, oh, it's pineapple, great, oh yeah, pineapple. But as soon as you blind it and say, this one ate pineapple and he didn't, they can't tell.

1:18:04 Velvet Revolver Another thing I heard about for semen is the vitamin zinc. I heard that it brings your semen count up.

1:18:12 Adam It brings it up.

1:18:13 Drew Oh, no, no, no, no. It might make the semen more effective.

1:18:17 Adam Swim better.

1:18:18 Drew Swim better.

1:18:18 Velvet Revolver No, more, more like more semen, like.

1:18:21 Drew No, no, not more semen.

1:18:22 Velvet Revolver Like, like for instance.

1:18:24 Adam More volume. More volume.

1:18:25 Velvet Revolver Okay, I'll just, I'll just break it down to you. I heard it from this guy named Peter North.

1:18:29 Adam Yeah.

1:18:30 Velvet Revolver He's a famous porno star.

1:18:31 Adam Call him the decorator.

1:18:32 Velvet Revolver And this guy, this guy can shoot, right?

1:18:36 Adam Yeah.

1:18:36 Velvet Revolver So I meet him and I'm, I'm fascinated.

1:18:39 Adam Sure.

1:18:39 Velvet Revolver And I see, I say, Peter, what, what's going on? What is the secret? So he tells me that it's all about zinc.

1:18:47 Drew Zinc and volume of semen.

1:18:49 Adam Yeah. It's all about the zinc.

1:18:50 Velvet Revolver Is that just, is that just an oddity? Is that just-

1:18:53 Drew He's just born, yeah, he's born with the-

1:18:54 Velvet Revolver Okay.

1:18:55 Adam Drew, have you ever seen-

1:18:57 Velvet Revolver Cause I went out and I bought bottles of zinc. You know what happened to me? I got a stomach ache.

1:19:00 Adam Yeah. And nothing, nothing extra?

1:19:04 Velvet Revolver Okay. I could shoot a couple of field goals.

1:19:06 Adam Okay. Peter North, it's, it's obnoxious. Like you leave the room and come back, he's still going. And, and just when you think it's over, there's like one, one thousand two and as a guy gets older, though, Drew does the semen.

1:19:20 Velvet Revolver I mean, like when you're a kid, when you're like, you know, in your teens and early twenties, you're just shooting like crazy.

1:19:26 Adam You can go two, three, four times, Matt asking the tough questions tonight, by the way.

1:19:32 Drew You will age.

1:19:33 Velvet Revolver And then you get a little older, you know, you get one good one. If you're lucky.

1:19:37 Adam I give it a medium.

1:19:38 Drew If you're lucky.

1:19:39 Velvet Revolver I mean, I'm not an old guy yet. So I'm saying I'm just, I'm just, that can go away too.

1:19:42 Adam It will. Eventually you'll, you'll die and everything will go.

1:19:47 Velvet Revolver Well, eventually.

1:19:47 Adam Yeah.

1:19:47 Velvet Revolver Eventually.

1:19:48 Adam All right. Drew, let me say this, by the way, apropos to nothing, but Drew and I are wise. We went out, ate some dinner last night. So we like to, five nights a week, not enough for us. I like to get together sometimes on the weekends. Oh, have a good time. Drew has heard me rail many times about following in the etiquette of following. And I've yelled about my dad who does this. So, you know, my dad, I'll say to him, we'll meet at some diner, we'll eat some breakfast. And I'll say, dad, I'm up at the new house. You've not been there yet. Follow me up to the new house. And he will leave 75 car lengths between my rear bumper and his front bumper. And meanwhile, cars are sliding in between and I'm going 28 miles an hour and people are flying past me. And then inevitably you make a signal and then they don't make the signal. And then you're sort of pulling over and some guys are trying to get out of the driveway. Yes.

1:20:42 Drew What your dad doesn't have is a woman in the next seat.

1:20:45 Adam I'm gonna vomit, I'm gonna vomit. Okay, now here's what happened. So I've gone nuts about this. I'll do this sometimes. I'll go like, I'll say to him, follow me. And the person leaves three football fields between. Actually, there's two types of followers. If there's a guy leaves the three football fields between you and meanwhile, cars are sliding in between and you can't find him.

1:21:07 Drew And there's a three inch guy.

1:21:08 Adam Or the guy.

1:21:08 Drew Which do you think I am?

1:21:09 Adam Or the guy who thinks he's driving NASCAR and is trying to draft you.

1:21:12 Drew Which do you think I am?

1:21:14 Adam Okay, quiet over here, you P-whipped MFer. So I'm saying to my wife the whole time, now I'm looking at Drew and he's got the Xenon headlights so I can tell his car, you know, cause he ain't no low rent here with Drew. I see the Xenon and I'm looking and we're driving up La Brea and I'm looking and he's way back. And I'm going 35, 36 miles. I'm going the speed limit. I'm not speeding. And he's way back. And then I make the signal naturally and he doesn't. And I'm pulled over. Then it starts that thing where you're pulled over and you're looking in your rear, trying to see when they're starting. And then I, and I'm screaming at my wife. I'll go, what the hell is wrong with Drew? I've given him the follow speech a thousand times. What's he doing? I can't even see him back there. I'm barely moving. And, and, and so my wife is saying, well, you know, Drew's, you know, he's a doctor, he's conservative. I said, no, Drew's a maniac behind the wheel. He's an animal. I said, that's his wife. That's gotta be his wife. So when he's talking about it, I said, no, Drew, Drew's an a-hole. Drew's an a-hole when he drives. And he drives like a piece of prick, you know? You son of a bitch. I can't stand that guy.

1:22:15 Velvet Revolver You're different around the old lady.

1:22:16 Adam And, and, and I said, yeah. And I said, I said, I said, that, that's the old lady. I said, that's his navigator. She's slowing him down. And me, I'm driving. I said, would you get behind me? Cars are sliding in between us up. Now we're not on the mountain road yet. Now what's going on? What is your wife complaining about? You're going in a straight line.

1:22:33 Drew You're going too fast. You're slowing down. You're going 36 miles an hour. I'm going to vomit if you speed up too fast and slow down too fast.

1:22:39 Adam Just open the window and throw her out.

1:22:41 Drew Literally it was about speeding up too fast. Oh, your car makes me vomit.

1:22:45 Adam What is she talking about? What about the earth revolving? Does that make her want to throw up too?

1:22:51 Drew She sits down in my car and goes, I'm going to vomit.

1:22:54 Adam We're going in a straight line up La Brea.

1:22:58 Velvet Revolver Accelerating slowly.

1:23:00 Drew Are you kidding? Are you kidding?

1:23:01 Adam I know that's what I'm yelling. Now, but now worse than a guy who drives slow. Pee with Andretti over here.

1:23:10 Drew And how about the mountain road? You lost it.

1:23:13 Adam The mountain, the mountain. As soon as I start going up the mountain, I would say it's true it's gone.

1:23:16 Drew You notice I picked up a little bit and she's like, what are you doing? She goes, you know where he's going. I've never been this road before.

1:23:22 Adam Yeah. But seriously in a straight line.

1:23:26 Drew Seriously, it's about accelerating and decelerating.

1:23:29 Velvet Revolver It's nice that you guys talk about this stuff though. So, you know, it's nice that you get out these.

1:23:33 Adam Straight line, man. We're going in it.

1:23:35 Drew We're going up to LaToya.

1:23:36 Velvet Revolver I'm really, I'm really, I'm really happy that you guys are able to talk openly.

1:23:40 Adam I know. I look and she's a lovely woman, but it's not like, it's not like she's, you know, nine months pregnant or it's not like we polished off a bottle of Mezcal tequila in the parking lot or something. We just went out to dinner. She can't drive in a car going straight.

1:23:56 Drew Stick shift, accelerate to five.

1:23:58 Adam All right, Drew, you know what? Let me tell you something, buddy. It's time, let me, let me just say.

1:24:02 Velvet Revolver She must be pretty hot.

1:24:05 Adam She's good looking, but here, here this is a friend. Here, this is a friend.

1:24:08 Drew Here we go.

1:24:09 Adam It is time for you to put your foot down. Not, not only your right foot on the accelerator foot.

1:24:14 Velvet Revolver Wait, he's a doctor, right? He's a doctor. He must be driving a Lexus or a Mercedes or something.

1:24:18 Adam Driving a BMW.

1:24:19 Velvet Revolver Okay, a BMW.

1:24:20 Adam It's got good acceleration.

1:24:21 Velvet Revolver 740, IL probably.

1:24:24 Adam The car, it's an M, it's an M5. And the car will do zero to 60.

1:24:29 Velvet Revolver Oh, that is the sporty version of that BMW.

1:24:32 Adam Will do zero to 60 in well under six seconds. Although with Drew's wife in the car, it's gonna take a couple of days to get to 60. Couple of days. Jesus Christ, what she wants you to do? Get out and push or something? Like what? You're going in a straight line. What? As I'm saying, Drew. Put the right foot down, put the foot down symbolically with the old lady. Got it. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. My old lady start complaining about that. She get the Thomas guide right across the face. Just the whole thing. The big fat city one too, just. Included Orange County. Pow! Right upside the head. That's right. Like a man would do. All right.

1:25:14 Drew She actually does get, say I've had her vomit in the horrible one.

1:25:17 Adam Straight line.

1:25:18 Drew She starts burping. She starts burping moments into an event.

1:25:21 Adam She can't go in a straight line.

1:25:23 Drew If I accelerate a little, I don't know.

1:25:25 Adam I was barely moving. I was yelling at it. One time we're all in a cab. This is, this is a pleasant. She yelled at the cab driver to slow down. And I yelled at her to stop. And then I yelled back at the cab driver to speed up.

1:25:36 Velvet Revolver Oh, New York City should be done.

1:25:37 Adam We were in San Francisco.

1:25:38 Velvet Revolver When you go to New York, what do you do when you go to New York with her?

1:25:41 Drew Yeah.

1:25:41 Adam What do you do?

1:25:41 Velvet Revolver Those guys are nuts.

1:25:43 Adam How does she travel in New York?

1:25:45 Drew I just keep that plastic thing shut. Tomorrow the window's open.

1:25:49 Adam Matt Sorum is here tonight. Oh, we got to hear. We're taking a break. We're gonna come back right here soon. That's where I need it. All after this.

1:26:00 Caller So get your problems ready.

1:26:04 Caller Drew, how much money do guys spend trying to get chicks? Into the billions?

1:26:10 Caller Cars?

1:26:11 Caller Everything. Condos? Everything. Hair plugs?

1:26:13 Adam All they need is a max deodorant body spray and a million dollars.

1:26:35 Caller Yep, there you go, everyone.

1:26:37 Adam Velvet Revolver. We're gonna hear something else from Velvet Revolver. Matt Sorum is here tonight, drummer for Velvet Revolver. And first guy in the band, by the way. First time this ever happened. We will take one call, and then it's Velvet Revolver time. Yes, because I see Sex Anakin, you know.

1:26:58 Caller Mark? Yes, this is Mark.

1:27:00 Adam You're 25?

1:27:02 Caller That's correct, good evening.

1:27:04 Adam Good evening. You have sex with strangers you meet in chat rooms.

1:27:09 Caller That's true, and I'm having a hard time because I've been trying to stop lately and I'm not able to do so.

1:27:16 Adam Are these chicks or dudes?

1:27:20 Caller Chicks.

1:27:21 Drew Chicks. Appropriate age, are they old enough?

1:27:23 Caller Oh, yes.

1:27:26 Drew And how come you don't have a relationship with any of them?

1:27:29 Caller I also have a relationship as well, but I'm doing this on the side.

1:27:33 Drew Oh, boy.

1:27:34 Adam Oh, so you have, are you living with somebody?

1:27:37 Caller I have a girlfriend, but we don't live together.

1:27:39 Drew She just sounds like, sounds like a sex addict.

1:27:44 Adam Oh, really?

1:27:45 Drew Okay. And were you sexually abused when you were growing up?

1:27:48 Caller No, not at all.

1:27:49 Drew Not at all?

1:27:50 Caller No. All right.

1:27:52 Adam And so do you want to stop doing this?

1:27:55 Caller Yeah, I've actually gone to a SAA meeting once and I thought it was stupid, so I didn't go back at all because I didn't think it could help me.

1:28:06 Drew Yeah.

1:28:07 Adam I think it's just SAA by the way.

1:28:08 Drew Well, there's SAA too. Anonymous.

1:28:13 Adam But, but I, but isn't it just-

1:28:16 Drew Sex addicts.

1:28:17 Adam Yeah, they just call it SAA.

1:28:19 Drew Yeah, there's SAA and SCA or something.

1:28:22 Adam So an SAA meeting is different than an SAA meeting?

1:28:26 Drew SAA is really considered the one that you want to call it.

1:28:28 Adam What about an SS meeting?

1:28:30 Drew SS, we've outlawed that. I wouldn't really just consider that.

1:28:33 Adam Poor form, poor taste.

1:28:34 Drew Poor terms, mostly terms. Poor taste though.

1:28:37 Adam Okay, so-

1:28:38 Drew Mark, never sexually abused?

1:28:40 Caller No, not at all.

1:28:41 Drew Did an experiment with kids your own age or something when you were in kindergarten?

1:28:46 Caller No.

1:28:47 Adam Matt, what kind of tale can you pick up on the internet these days?

1:28:51 Caller Well, you know, sometimes it's better than others.

1:28:53 Drew We're not gonna have time for a Velvet Revolver show.

1:28:55 Adam All right, real fast.

1:28:56 Drew Did you addicted to anything else?

1:28:57 Adam Hold on a second. Oh, screw me. Sometimes it's better than others.

1:29:01 Drew Yeah, I think it's bogus. It doesn't fit.

1:29:02 Adam All right. I don't like Mark anyway. Just go back to another... Go to an... You need an SAAA meeting. He's... A hole? Yes.

1:29:11 Drew SAAAH meeting?

1:29:13 Adam Right. All right. Let's hear something from Velvet Revolver. How about it? Chris, what do you say, buddy? This one is called Fall to Pieces. Another good one from Velvet Revolver, everyone.

1:33:52 Velvet Revolver That's our next single.

1:33:53 Adam Sounds great. We will take a little break, and we'll be right back after this.

1:33:59 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me.

1:34:01 Caller So what's up?

1:34:14 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:34:16 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:34:22 Velvet Revolver This hour brought to you in part by Axe. Experience the Axe Effect.

1:34:46 Adam Everybody, that's the show. Ozo Motley's gonna be in here tomorrow night. Haven't seen those guys in quite some time. Oh yes, they've been on the show before. Drew, don't make that face when they come in tomorrow night.

1:34:57 Drew I may have been away or something.

1:34:59 Adam It's highly possible, but it's been five years in a row. All right, Matt Sorum, God bless you. Always good to see you.

1:35:07 Velvet Revolver It was a good time, I learned a lot tonight.

1:35:09 Adam Velvet Revolver, everybody.

1:35:11 Drew Zinc and semen production. That's where it went tonight.

1:35:16 Adam My pleasure, Matt. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew, saying mahalo.

1:35:28 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, July 18, 2004