Episode 1000612139642

1:09 Voiceover Listen, discretion is advised. Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:11 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam.

1:11 Adam That's Dr. Drew.

1:11 Voiceover Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11 Adam Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist.

1:12 Drew Lisa Dergan is here tonight from, well, let's see, Stuff Magazine. Stuff Magazine named her the sexiest sportscaster, Drew. Yeah, makes sense, right? I mean, there is some competition these days. There didn't used to be, but there's a lot of good-looking ladies in the world of sportscasting, and they're not just talking heads. Like, they're actually into sports. Lisa was talking her ear off about golf last time. Oh, your mother. How could we forget? She loves her goddamn golf, this Lisa. She's a great golfer, just ask her. And I'm no good at golf, so I'm bitter.

1:51 Adam But she also excluded you from her list of potential mates because of that.

1:55 Drew Because of my inability to play golf.

1:57 Lisa Dergan Yeah, I've never had a boyfriend that wasn't at least out there with me all the time.

2:01 Drew Well, I'll go out there with you.

2:02 Lisa Dergan Well, I don't want to play with you if you're not that good.

2:06 Adam That's not the point, you're just going to sit there, he's going to drink beer. The red wine we were talking about.

2:09 Drew Golf is great because the chick comes by in a golf cart, which is really just like a mini keg truck. She comes by with booze, like what other sport does somebody with booze on wheels come by and ask you to make change and give you Pringles and give you beer? It's awesome, yeah?

2:28 Lisa Dergan Yeah, where they drive up to, but if you're at a baseball game, they walk down the steps, but usually they're not a cute girl.

2:33 Adam But you're not playing baseball though.

2:34 Drew Yeah, you're not playing. You're actually participating in a sport if someone's giving you beer.

2:40 Lisa Dergan Well, that'll get you out there.

2:42 Drew Lisa is also part of the Best Am Sports Show period, which I think I did a couple of weeks back. Yeah, but I didn't see you.

2:49 Lisa Dergan Well, I'm not on the set every single day. I'm a correspondent.

2:53 Drew You were doing correspondent work. But I didn't see you. I didn't see you piped in via the TV set or whatever.

2:58 Lisa Dergan I could have been on the floor right above doing my anchoring, so I probably was in the building, because I do remember you stopping by.

3:05 Drew She is a former St. Poly girl, by the way, which is, I don't know, I have a very, and Drew, now be honest with me, I have a very, no, I was going to say soft spot in my heart for the hot chicks on the beer posters at the liquor store.

3:21 Adam Sure. That's all you had when you were a younger male. Adam would stare about it, stare and take note and then go home.

3:29 Drew I worked at a liquor store when I was in high school, and I would stare at those beer posters, and there was something, I don't think posters have the same connection or lore they have with teenage boys as they did when we were growing up, but that's kind of what we had, and it didn't have to be, you know, Fair Fawcett or Linda Carter, something like that. Linda Carter? Well, she was in a Wonder Woman outfit once. Don't you ever? Oh my, oh my God. Hold on. Okay, I'm done. I'm like a ninja. Yeah, Linda Carter in a Wonder Woman outfit was hot. But okay, here's my point. I worked at the liquor store. I would see the St. Polly girl of your, of course, and there's like, that's why I refer to the visceral reaction because it's so much a part of your youth and memory. The Meketa tool girl was hot.

4:20 Adam You know, that's all you had.

4:21 Drew That's what I also had.

4:22 Adam Yeah, you had that in the pool box. The inflatable raft box.

4:25 Drew I was in love with a chick that was on a raft box.

4:27 Lisa Dergan Oh my gosh.

4:28 Drew She was floating on the raft.

4:30 Adam That's all young males had for images of the females.

4:33 Drew I should go to the Big Five and see to see just to check. I couldn't afford the raft.

4:36 Adam Oh, I didn't have a pool.

4:37 Lisa Dergan Unbelievable.

4:38 Drew But I stared at the raft box.

4:39 Lisa Dergan Well, St. Paul made a six-foot cardboard cutout, so I should have brought that in for you.

4:46 Drew I got one.

4:47 Adam I got one.

4:48 Drew Yeah. Yeah. I had a hinge in these. Yeah. I just used shoe leather. I didn't actually put a hinge in.

4:56 Adam Oh my God.

4:57 Drew Yeah.

5:00 Lisa Dergan You know what's great?

5:01 Drew Yeah. What's great?

5:02 Lisa Dergan Also, another reason why I'm here is the Bench Warmer Trading Card, which you can carry in your pocket.

5:07 Drew That's what I need because I cannot travel with that six-foot cardboard cutout of yours.

5:12 Adam Here, look.

5:13 Drew Yeah. They got Bench Warmer Trading Cards. This is Lisa holding a football and wearing, well, I call those panties, yes, sir? And a bra. Little hot pants. Little hot panty things. Is there gum in here?

5:28 Lisa Dergan Why don't you open it up? Series 3 just is coming out this week.

5:34 Drew Is this, look, I got to, I must admit I never collected baseball cards or trading cards or comic books or anything like that.

5:42 Lisa Dergan Well, you were just staring at the posters at the liquor store.

5:44 Drew Yeah, yeah. So, I never got into this stuff. Is it big? Is it sweeping the nation?

5:49 Lisa Dergan It's a phenomenon.

5:51 Drew It is.

5:52 Lisa Dergan Yeah.

5:52 Drew And where do you get these?

5:53 Lisa Dergan Everywhere. Spencer Gifts, Tower Records, any place where you can buy trading cards has them.

6:00 Drew And do you go to?

6:01 Lisa Dergan You can go to benchwarmer.com and what's great is, it's girls.

6:06 Drew Yeah, no, it is. Yeah, we don't see a bunch of sweaty guys with pork chop sideburns and slugging percentage. You just got hot chicks and bikinis and then you collect and you trade.

6:18 Adam Here's a piece of a bikini on this one, Adam.

6:20 Drew Oh, there's an actual piece of a bikini on here. It's like, this one may be scratch and sniffed around.

6:26 Adam I knew you were going there.

6:27 Lisa Dergan Yep.

6:27 Drew Well, I mean, look at that.

6:28 Lisa Dergan And the girl, if you look at the picture, I think she's wearing...

6:31 Adam That bikini.

6:32 Drew She's wearing it and there's actually... Hold on, but are we in prison? I got porn in there.

6:37 Lisa Dergan What?

6:37 Drew We think we're on an island somewhere? I'll go home. I got tons of porn. What do I need this for? Okay, all right.

6:46 Adam It's to break the fortune and slow it.

6:48 Drew I see. I see. This is for the young man.

6:50 Lisa Dergan This is for any man. Or woman.

6:52 Drew No, no. Women are going to be...

6:54 Lisa Dergan Whatever you're...

6:54 Drew Women are going to be pissed off if they see this. Wow. Crazy, crazy batch of ethnicities here, too. Look at that. You got one everything. Now, wait. Kathleen Cohen. So, you're... Wait, did I find you? Is this you?

7:09 Lisa Dergan I think you got me right there.

7:11 Adam Yeah, okay, good.

7:12 Lisa Dergan And when you get series three, I'll have the cover.

7:15 Drew Oh, really? Well, give me those. I like this one.

7:20 Adam Who's this chick?

7:21 Lisa Dergan See, the...

7:22 Drew Yeah, Kathleen Collins. Nothing wrong with her.

7:24 Lisa Dergan The listeners can't see these, but they can go out and get them. So, they'll see what you've got in your hand right now.

7:28 Drew Yeah. Well, that's the... That's the plan.

7:32 Adam Engineer Chris is eyeballing this a little bit.

7:34 Drew You want some of this? Take some of these cards. Come on, throw them a bone. There you go. And take that. He lives at home. I know you think that's hot, right? Yeah. Oh, these are... And there's some rookie cards, like Sonia Vera over here. It's a rookie card?

7:50 Lisa Dergan You've got it all in there.

7:52 Drew Yeah.

7:54 Lisa Dergan Something for everyone.

7:55 Drew You can get them where? Anywhere.

7:56 Lisa Dergan Tower Records, Spencer Gifts, benchwarmer.com if you're lazy and you just want to go right to the site.

8:02 Drew They don't have gum, though. Can they come with gum?

8:05 Lisa Dergan Do you want it for the gum?

8:07 Drew Well, it's just one of those things. You don't want the parsley, but you're mad if it's not on the side of the plate.

8:12 Adam It's also, what do you tell the person at the cashier or cash register?

8:15 Drew Yeah, now you're just buying pocket porn. At this place, like, in this case, be like, I want some gum. I guess there's some Scandall and Clad chicks I got to get to.

8:23 Lisa Dergan Well, you can buy a pack of gum when you're buying one of these.

8:25 Drew Well, all I'm saying, if you're doing trading cards, you got to shove the gum in there. That's all I'm saying.

8:31 Lisa Dergan We'll throw a pack in there for you.

8:33 Drew All right, please. Please do. All right, Drew, that's enough. All right? You good? All right, we're moving forward. Kelly? Yes? You're 17? Hold on a second. I'm the first guy to think of putting gum in here? You got to put gum. It's like there's some sort of federal mandate that says you have to put gum in trading card things. And by the way-

8:55 Adam Not anymore. That's in the old days.

8:56 Drew The cellophane, I would be angry if I bought this and didn't have gum in it.

9:00 Adam Because cellophane says gum?

9:01 Drew This says gum. This screams gum at me. The shouts from the highest mountain, gum.

9:06 Lisa Dergan You know what? If you want a trading card with a guy on it, you get the gum. But if you want the ones with the girls on it, we think that's enough.

9:13 Drew You're probably right. But look, engineer Chris, look at that. Now you would think, you bet me a thousand dollars, give me ten to one odds that that had gum in it. Right?

9:22 Adam And you okay?

9:23 Drew Hands man. You ready? Yeah. Kelly.

9:30 Yes.

9:30 Drew You're 17?

9:31 Caller Yes, I am.

9:32 Drew What's up?

9:34 Caller My boyfriend is in Hawaii and he's not coming home until next Christmas. So, that's like seven months away and I don't know, it's kind of like banging my head against the brick wall, I guess. I really don't know what to do.

9:49 Drew What's he doing in Hawaii?

9:50 Caller He's in the Marine Corps.

9:52 Adam When's he coming back?

9:54 Caller Christmas.

9:55 Adam For good, he's going to stay in Christmas?

9:58 Caller No, he signed up for five years, so he's been in for a year and a half.

10:03 Adam No, Kelly, this doesn't sound like something you should...

10:05 Drew I just got a note from producer Ann that next year's series will have gum in it because people, well, have been outraged quite frankly. But I'll tell you what's going to end up happening is from now on, they're going to have gum in them. The ones that didn't have the gum will become collectors.

10:21 Adam So don't open them.

10:22 Drew Don't open them.

10:23 Adam Just keep by them.

10:24 Drew Well, you could even open them, but the point is they won't have any of that white powder residue that comes off the gum and that will become a collector series. I know it sounds funky now, but this happens all the time. Some records that have a deleted track on them or something later on, they become collectors because what they don't have. You see what I'm saying?

10:40 Adam I know what you're saying. She doesn't know what a record is.

10:45 Drew I'm going back in the day. Oh, for Christ's sake.

10:52 Adam I know what a record is.

10:53 Drew No, but I'm saying records because I'm saying it was a collector stuff. It's worth a lot today because in the days of your.

11:00 Adam Just the reaction was classic. Records.

11:05 Drew I know what I'm like 65 and you're 14.

11:07 Lisa Dergan I'm just giving you a hard time.

11:09 Drew No kidding.

11:10 Adam All right. Where are we? I have a sense about his age these days.

11:13 Drew I'm really sensitive.

11:14 Adam He's sensitive.

11:14 Drew I'm sensitive.

11:15 Adam He is.

11:15 Adam Very sensitive.

11:17 Adam We had a 21 year old in here and she wasn't interested in him and it sent him a reeling.

11:21 Drew She said I was too old for her.

11:23 Adam Really. And I had explained to him that it just meant she was healthy. It would be weird.

11:28 Drew It was at Alicia Cutbert.

11:30 Adam Yes.

11:32 Drew Hot stuff. She's riding high now. I'll talk to her in a few years. She'll be begging for me. Kelly?

11:40 Adam So, Kelly, this sounds like a relationship that may not be meant for right now anyway. The people your age, 17, 18, 19, tend to sort of try to cling to relationships because you feel like this is the one and only and there's never going to be anything like this again. But it's sort of normal for people to split up and go on with their life and go to college and go into military training. Whatever it might be, takes them apart and if you get back together in the future, that's fine, but you really got to get on with your life right now.

12:07 Drew I can't believe this son of a bitch is in Hawaii when everyone else is in Iraq.

12:11 Adam He may end up, he's got five, four more years to go.

12:13 Drew I hope he goes there. What's he doing in Hawaii?

12:17 Caller He's, I can't remember the name, meteorological equipment technician.

12:26 Drew Oh, we got some sort of base over there.

12:27 Adam It's so interesting, each of us, you know, we hear as a Marine, we forgot the gun on the front lines, and no.

12:32 Drew Yeah, yeah, I know.

12:33 Adam You guys fix the landing gear at a Navy jet.

12:36 Drew That's what I know. I know, everybody works for an airline, I figure flies the plane. Less than 1% of them actually even see the plane. Right. That's, oh, you fly the plane. Well, it's funny because you're missing an arm and you're blind.

12:49 Adam You work on the plane.

12:50 Drew You're morbidly obese, you're confined to a wheelchair. Yeah, I attract baggage. So you're not flying the plane anymore? I never did fly the plane. Oh, you gave up flying the plane. I can't. It just we go right to the exciting part. That's a good thing.

13:05 Adam What our brain sort of takes us to.

13:07 Drew We just don't have room in there to pull out all the nuances of every job.

13:11 Adam Yeah, the support teams. All right, Kelly, just I think it may be time. Get on with your life. Molly?

13:19 Drew Yep, Molly? You're 16?

13:22 Caller Yeah.

13:23 Drew What's up?

13:25 Caller I have been going to a therapist like for maybe five months now, kind of like on and off. But like I can't open up to her and I don't really like open up to my friends or anything like anything.

13:40 Adam How come?

13:42 Caller I don't know.

13:43 Adam All right.

13:45 Adam What kind of stuff you got in there that needs to be brought out?

13:48 Caller I just have never been able to do it.

13:50 Adam But what is it you need to bring up?

13:52 Drew What do you need to know? You're 16. Maybe you don't have anything in you.

13:56 Caller Like whenever I get depressed a lot or like it's like hard for me to tell any of my friends like anything.

14:04 Drew Well, first off, is there anything deep and dark we need to know about? Like molested or physically abused? You ever get a cellophane packet with cards in it and no gum? Have you ever traumatized that way? No. So you're just a 16 year old who has her good days and her bad days?

14:27 Caller Yeah, but it's like all the time. And like I think more than like or like all the time during the day everything I do I always regret it.

14:36 Drew All right. You're depressed. Let's just go talk.

14:41 Adam All right. Hold on.

14:42 Drew I'm not deeming this a call. I feel bad for her. But yeah, join the party every 16 year old in the world. I think she's fat and doesn't like her friends and doesn't feel like she can open up to anybody. Molly's depressed like half the nation is. Here's what you got to do. Let's start talking to your friends. There you go. You don't open up to them. You don't want to open up to them. Go ahead and do it. That's what they're there for. And by the way, everyone, just sort of kickstart yourself a little bit. Just going to therapy. Let's go ahead and do it. Yeah. Holly.

15:16 Adam Yeah.

15:16 Drew You're 17. What's up?

15:22 Adam Well, I slept with my best friend about a month ago.

15:26 Drew Yeah. A female, it says.

15:28 Adam You're a lesbian.

15:29 Adam Yeah.

15:31 Drew Bisexual.

15:32 Adam Yeah.

15:32 Drew Well, sorry, Your Highness.

15:34 Well, it's OK. I love you.

15:36 Drew Drew, you're way off.

15:37 Adam I didn't.

15:38 Oh.

15:39 Drew I heard you say lesbian.

15:40 Adam You're a Mormon.

15:42 Drew Yeah.

15:42 Mormon.

15:43 Drew Mormon. All right, go ahead, Holly. So you slept with your friend.

15:48 Adam Yeah.

15:49 Drew Your best friend.

15:50 Adam Yeah.

15:51 Adam Mm-hmm.

15:52 Adam So, like, now she's, like, freaked out because somebody found out about it, and now, like, she's telling everybody I raped her and all kinds of crap.

16:01 Adam Oh, my God. Is there anything that might have made her think you raped her or?

16:05 The roofies and the clink-pink.

16:06 Adam I know her pretty well, and I know it's pretty much because she doesn't want anybody to know that she's, like, bisexual.

16:12 Adam Mm-hmm.

16:12 Adam So she's just afraid to admit it, so she decides to go...

16:15 Adam Well, how did this all go down, so to speak? How did it happen?

16:19 Adam Well, we, like, we slept with each other at least five times before she decided to go tell everybody this.

16:24 Adam Ah. Does she initiate these things?

16:27 Adam She's the one who initiated it in the first place.

16:29 Adam Yeah. She sounds pretty chaotic.

16:31 Drew Yeah.

16:32 Adam Yeah.

16:32 Drew Holly sounds like a sack of trouble herself.

16:35 Adam Also. Put the two together.

16:36 Caller I am not trouble.

16:37 Drew Where's your loser dad? What did he do to you before he left?

16:40 Lisa Dergan That's always the question.

16:42 Drew Yes.

16:44 Adam Where is he?

16:44 Drew Where is he?

16:45 Adam He's upstairs.

16:46 Drew Aha. He's in heaven.

16:48 No.

16:51 Drew His bedroom in heaven?

16:53 Adam No.

16:54 Drew My dad lives with me. He lives with you?

16:56 Yeah.

16:57 Drew What's he do? Muffler shop?

16:59 Adam My mom and my dad run a preschool daycare in my house.

17:03 Drew In your house.

17:04 Yeah.

17:04 Adam Did they do anything weird to you?

17:06 Caller No.

17:07 Adam That's gotta be weird.

17:09 Caller No.

17:11 Drew Rats run around the carpet everywhere.

17:16 Adam No physical abuse, huh?

17:17 Drew Hold on. How come I don't trust anyone who opens a daycare center? What is that?

17:22 Adam I know.

17:23 Drew Why shouldn't, why we should like these people, right?

17:25 Adam I think we're so used to hearing about the horror stories.

17:27 Drew No, it just, it feels like-

17:29 Adam It feels like an abnormal impulse. Like a strange, do it in your house. It's intrusive.

17:34 Drew There's something wrong with it. Yeah. It's weird and intrusive because it's in your house. It's, it's, it's sort of, it's, it's, it's, it's crazy, ambitious and super lazy at the same time. Like on one hand, you're going to have what, 27 four year olds running around in your house all day. That's crazy. The other part is how lazy are you that you can't get dressed and go get your own job?

17:52 Adam Right.

17:53 Drew I just, I don't trust it.

17:55 Adam And it's such a personal thing to bring children into your own home. It seems a weird boundary issue.

18:01 Drew You know what it is?

18:01 Lisa Dergan What happens when somebody doesn't pick up their kid? You want to sit down, have a glass of wine.

18:07 Drew Yeah. And, uh, maybe a little sleeping pill, too. Yeah. We're going to try some Ambien, me and Lisa in the parking lot after the show.

18:16 Adam Oh, that'll be pretty.

18:17 Lisa Dergan There'll be a first for everything.

18:18 Adam We'll go sleep in the parking lot.

18:19 Drew And why am I going to have to crash at your place?

18:21 Lisa Dergan I don't think so.

18:23 Drew When I say crash, I mean actually drive my car into the side of your house. I literally mean crash. That's what I mean when I say crash at your pad. Sometimes it's confusing when people don't know what I'm talking about. I may have to crash at your pad and I'm actually parked in my car in the living room. Molly, something's screwy with Molly. Molly.

18:44 Hi, my name's Holly.

18:46 Drew I mean Holly. What's wrong with you?

18:48 What do you mean what's wrong with me?

18:49 Drew Something seems up. How did you become bisexual? What happened to you?

18:55 Adam Well, I've been bisexual. I've actually been attracted to girls.

19:00 Adam Are you lesbian? Are you lesbian?

19:04 Adam No, I'm bisexual.

19:05 Lisa Dergan I'm surprised you guys are quizzing her on it. Isn't that every guy's dream?

19:09 Adam Yeah, but it doesn't really happen without a lot of stuff going on. It's not on this show.

19:14 Drew When did you lose your virginity?

19:18 Adam Like this year.

19:20 Drew Really?

19:20 Adam Yeah. When was the first time you were with a girl?

19:24 Adam The first time I was with a girl.

19:26 Adam Of any time?

19:28 Adam You were 12? Now we're talking here. And who was the girl?

19:34 Adam Her.

19:35 Adam And how old was she?

19:36 Drew Same girl. Well, she's the same age, right?

19:38 Adam We haven't established that. She was 17?

19:41 Drew So you think you're in love with this girl? Oh. Oh, I was.

19:47 Adam You were? I was. This girl may be an abuse survivor and maybe she acted out on Holland.

19:53 Drew You were in love with her. So you're calling her your friend but you're really falling in love with her.

19:57 Adam I've been in love with her for a long time. She just doesn't know about it.

20:00 Adam You're a lesbian. You're not bisexual.

20:02 Drew That's a lesbian.

20:04 Adam No. I like men though. I'm attracted to men also.

20:08 Drew All right. Well, look. Here's my plan for you. This chick's chaotic. This is just going to be drama.

20:14 Adam I guarantee you the girlfriend is a sexual abuse survivor acting out when she's 12.

20:20 Lisa Dergan I was thinking about all that stuff at 12.

20:24 Adam No.

20:24 Drew You weren't? What were you thinking about? Golf?

20:28 Adam Golf.

20:29 Lisa Dergan Golf was 12 when I started. Yeah.

20:32 Drew So you were thinking about golf?

20:33 Lisa Dergan I was thinking about golf. And my lessons twice a week. That's what I was worried about.

20:37 Drew Golf lessons?

20:38 Lisa Dergan Yeah.

20:39 Drew I'm going to kick my dad right in the nuts. As a matter of fact, I'm going to borrow your sand wedge and just tee off right on a sack. Golf lessons. Can you imagine lessons? You got them golf lessons.

20:54 Adam What about you? They had like a golf camp.

20:56 Drew They went to golf camp? What the hell's wrong? You're going to turn those kids into like wasps. They'd be an Aryan youth. They want to go to Mars too. They'll get to go.

21:08 Adam It's like a week long little camp camp.

21:10 Drew Oh, Drew's kids, they go to the Disneyland Hotel for like a month. This is like Michael Jackson.

21:14 Adam They take up a whole floor.

21:17 Drew Come on. Let's get you to ruin those kids, Drew. They're going to lose their eye. They need their edge. They're going to be hungry. Got to be hungry.

21:24 Adam You're right.

21:24 Drew Drew, what's the most important thing for someone to be?

21:27 Adam Got to be hungry.

21:28 Drew Just say hungry. No, hungry. What's the most important thing for something to be? Just say hungry when I point.

21:34 Adam You ready?

21:36 Drew What's the most important quality a man can have? No, say hunger. A man can have.

21:41 Adam Hunger.

21:42 Lisa Dergan Yeah, but.

21:43 Adam Hunger.

21:43 Drew That's right.

21:44 Lisa Dergan Yeah.

21:45 Drew Now get a hand in and break it down. Let's go. Let's go, Lisa. Get a hand in. We're going to break it down now. Got to be hungry now. Don't sit on your helmets. Helmets not a chair, gentlemen.

21:57 Adam All right. Laura.

22:03 Drew Laura.

22:04 Yes?

22:05 Drew You're 18?

22:06 Caller Yes, I am.

22:07 Drew What's happening?

22:09 Caller Well, I've been seeing this guy for about three months and he can't come when we're having sex. And it's been on three occasions, I think, that he has been able to come, but he doesn't. And, actually, I've questioned it before and he's let me know that he has to fake his orgasms with most of his lovers, which, you know, it kind of, it gets me a little bit insecure, I guess, but I don't know if it's me or I don't know what's his deal.

22:36 Adam Well, obviously, it's not you if he has to fake with other people, right?

22:41 Caller Yeah.

22:42 Adam Okay.

22:42 Lisa Dergan He was forthcoming to tell her that, though, because most guys would be embarrassed.

22:46 Caller We're really good friends. I mean, I've only known this guy for three months and we've become really close friends. And he says I'm the first girl that he's opened up about, you know, his problem, I guess.

22:55 Drew Smart.

22:56 Caller He doesn't think it's a problem.

22:58 Adam He doesn't think it's a problem. Is he on medication?

23:00 Drew Tell that to his balls, by the way, who are mad as hell. Not going to take it anymore.

23:05 Adam Is he on medication?

23:06 Caller We were talking about this last night and he said, it's just, I can go for a really long time. And I said, is it that you can go for a really long time or can you even go at all?

23:15 Adam Is he on medication?

23:16 Caller I know he's not.

23:19 Adam I know he's not. Other means he can achieve this other than, of course?

23:26 Caller No. Good question. The first time I was on oral sex, he actually told me, you know, the only way I can get off is with sex. Oral doesn't get me off. And I was like, what?

23:38 Drew I couldn't hang. We got nothing to talk about me in this character. Nothing.

23:42 Caller I've never heard that one.

23:43 Drew He's dead to me.

23:44 Lisa Dergan I haven't heard that either.

23:46 Drew You're not gonna.

23:47 Caller I feel that I work it pretty well.

23:49 Adam Maybe just not.

23:50 Caller And it surprises me when he says, over time, we're having sex. It's a bad guy for him, but he can't go.

24:00 Adam He can't come. Well, there are some guys that are wired that way. That's just the way it is.

24:04 Drew There are.

24:04 Adam And he has to kind of pay attention and figure it out a little bit. He seems to put a hand in.

24:08 Drew He's in denial? Let's go. He's got to break it down. He's got to get a hand in. That helmet's not a chair, gentlemen. And when I say gentlemen, I use that term loosely. Okay, ladies, come on now.

24:21 Caller I don't know what else to do.

24:24 Adam Laura, it's not about you.

24:25 Drew Quiet down. Quiet down.

24:26 Adam Relax.

24:27 Drew Now, how old is he?

24:29 Caller He is 19.

24:30 Drew He's 19. So let me say this, and Drew was a man of exquisite passion. Ladies should know that about Drew. I don't know if I've ever mentioned that on here, but he's a man who's bursting at the seams with passion. Uh-huh. It caught Lisa's attention now. Now she's listening. A man of Drew's exquisite passion could not understand something like this. I, who do not have the same passion level that Drew has for anything, really, quite honestly.

25:04 Adam Except ambient and red wine.

25:05 Drew I like red wine, yeah. I like my pills. I'll be crashing into your place later tonight, Lisa.

25:10 Adam But except for that, the engine is barely on.

25:12 Drew Except for that. Right. Understand that, you know, a man can go, a guy at 19, especially if he's a little bit of a squirrely, a little bit late bloomer, may not have it worked out just yet. He can hit his rhythm. Well, that's the point. And that's what he's got to do. He's got to work it in and work it out.

25:28 Adam The fact that he's even making it an issue for Laura is like, hey, hey, come on, get your act together.

25:33 Drew Yeah. Laura, here's what you need to do. I'm telling you, this is going to help. You need to figure out if he beats off and if he does, what position is he in when he beats off? Because that's going to be his prime position.

25:46 Adam There you go.

25:46 Drew Lisa's nodding feverishly. She's also a woman of extreme passion. You two could have passionate kids. Find that out. Tell him to get on it. And don't make it as such a big issue about he's not doing this. I can't do that for him. Just enjoy your relax. Enjoy your intimacy.

26:05 Adam It's not about Laura at all.

26:07 Drew Not about you, not your prom. Have your intimacy, have your relationship and see where it goes. And by the way, use protection because he will figure it out and you'll get pregnant first time around. Yeah. Thank you. She's calling from fan eyes. It means.

26:20 Adam By the way, morning after pill, shot down for over the counter.

26:24 Drew We're taking a break. When we come back, I'm come back with an ass full of steam for this. Because I do have passion for this.

26:29 Adam Yeah, I know. Me too.

26:30 Drew Lisa Dergan is here tonight. She's got the bench warmer, training cards, no gum, everybody. But if you get these early ones, they're going to be collector's editions because the new ones will have the gum. You see? Take a quick break. We'll be right back. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Lisa Dergan is here tonight. She's a sportscaster on Fox Sports West.

27:13 Lisa Dergan Net.

27:14 Drew Oh, net. Didn't I screw that up last time?

27:17 Lisa Dergan Well, everybody always does that. They say Fox Sports Net, Fox Sports West, Fox Sports 2.

27:22 Drew I'll just say Fox Sports. You can find her on Best Day in the Sports Show period.

27:26 Lisa Dergan Have you both been on?

27:29 Adam I did Tom's wedding.

27:31 Lisa Dergan You did Tom.

27:31 Adam No, no, I didn't do Tom. I did his wedding roast, his bachelor party thing.

27:38 Drew Yeah.

27:38 Adam That's the only time I did that show.

27:39 Drew I've been on maybe three times. Show's been going good and going strong. And I remember when it-

27:46 Adam I would love to have a show. I think it'd be fun just to sit around. What do they talk about?

27:51 Adam What do you think they talk about?

27:52 Adam But if it was somebody like us, what would they talk with me about?

27:55 Drew I don't know what they talk about.

27:56 Lisa Dergan Everybody that comes on our show, it's not just sports. It's entertainment.

28:01 Drew I happen to know a fair amount about sports.

28:03 Adam I know, I know.

28:03 Drew Thank you.

28:04 Lisa Dergan But we don't even care if you do. We'll find something that-

28:07 Adam I did something for them, but you did it too, some sort of 50th anniversary thing or some, I can't remember what it was, but they asked lots of questions about sports things you remember.

28:16 Drew Oh yeah, that was for another show, I think.

28:18 Adam But it was at Fox, right? I did that and I realized I don't know anything other than what happened between about 1972 and 1980.

28:25 Lisa Dergan Now why is that?

28:25 Drew Because he's an idiot.

28:27 Adam Those are my sports fan years or something. I don't know, I knew a ton about that interval and then I know a little bit about the last four years.

28:36 Drew A man of passion and a doctor, so he was spending a lot of time focusing on his doctoring.

28:43 Lisa Dergan My passionate pursuits. Well, he'll get into it a lot more again because of his kids.

28:47 Drew Yes, kids will get him in.

28:48 Adam That's exactly why I'm back into it.

28:49 Drew That's right.

28:50 Lisa Dergan But then he sends him off to the camp, so he's not.

28:52 Adam No, the golf is not for me. Golfing is not for me.

28:55 Drew Okay, well now you guys can't hang. So that makes two of us. I'll still be crashing at your pen, in your pen. You can go to www.benchwarmer.com and I think get a free set of these cards or so I hear. We got stuff to talk about, Drew. One is the May birthdays list that was posted all over the station. It's nice. And by the way, it's one of these things that didn't exist. I don't know if it exists in other fields. Before I got into television, before I got into radio, no one gave a rat's ass about your birthday. As a matter of fact, it was sort of, it was a pain in the ass when it was your birthday because then I was like, what do we do? We gotta get him something? What are we gonna do? My birthday is in this month, by the way.

29:39 Adam And yet I see 29 names there. Yours must be at the top.

29:44 Drew Now my birthday is on May 27th. Now you see my name there under the 27th of May? No. No? What name is that?

29:55 Adam Myung-Joo Yunn.

29:57 Drew Yeah, there's a crazy Korean person that's, or maybe Chinese, what would that be? There's a little crazy Korean woman that's getting married, has the temerity to be born on the same day as I, who also works at this radio station. But there's really, it's a big laminated thing, it says May birthday, it's got a picture of cards and candles and cakes and presents, there's 25 names on it, and Ace man didn't make the cut this year.

30:27 Adam There you go, what are you gonna do? You're a pretty popular guy, you know?

30:30 Drew Myung-Joo Yunn is in there.

30:31 Adam I'm sure over at Kimmel they put you up, stick your name up.

30:34 Drew That's a matter of, I gotta look into that. All right, Lisa Dergan here, what else, Drew? Oh, you were gonna complain.

30:41 Adam Morning after plan.

30:42 Drew I'd been looking at this for a week, the only reason I brought it in is because I like the crazy novelty name that's where my name should be, Myung-Joo Yunn. That's good times. Yep, that's where the round eye should have been, right there.

31:03 Adam So the director of the FDA decided on his own to disregard the unanimous direction of his advisers, which was to put the morning after pill over the counter, which is this pill, just a birth control pill, but you take after intercourse instead of before. And it works by preventing ovulation, just the way the pill works normally. But because it's after intercourse, people have this sort of magical belief that it must be an abortion pill, which it is not. In fact, it could eliminate abortion in this country. And throughout the world, somewhere around 4 to 60 million users prescribed prescriptions have been issued, not a single Everest event in the history of its use.

31:43 Drew Well, that means they're due. That means they're due.

31:45 Adam You can't say that about aspirin. I see what you're saying. About aspirin.

31:48 Drew They're due to go.

31:48 Adam Anything else, it is one of the safest products out there.

31:51 Lisa Dergan And so now they're taking it off?

31:53 Adam Well, it was supposed to go over the counter in the United States like other civilized countries. And since we because of political issues, it was shelved for a while, so to speak.

32:03 Drew Well, you know, Bush, he's a very, he's a strong-faith man and he talks to God a lot.

32:09 Adam And I'm sure he should talk directly to God about this one, because God will say, hey, get your act together.

32:15 Well, come on.

32:16 Drew Hey, here's the thing. I don't I don't want the FDA making moral judgment calls. You pinheads just decide if something's safe or not. And then if it is, put it, let us decide whether it's morally OK for us to ingest it or not.

32:29 Adam If it's morally safe, I mean, if it's if it's egregious, if it's if it compels people to do a morally egregious action, I'm all for keeping it off the shelves. You know what I'm saying?

32:41 Drew Well, I mean, one one could argue then that wouldn't be safe. I mean, if it got people to kill, then even though it was safe for you, it might not be safe for your neighbor. But this I mean, have we can we get to the bottom of this, you know, condoms or birth control? I mean, here's what I'm saying. Let's say we are under the impression in this country that if you educate kids about sexuality, that's going to get them to go out and have sex.

33:08 Adam By the way, only topic that we apply that logic to it, we have to talk to drugs, drugs. You got to talk to them when they're for talk. But with sex, if you talk to them, they're going to want to do it. Which is it?

33:21 Drew And that's a good point.

33:23 Adam Why just sex? It's the only human behavior that if you talk about, you make people do.

40:20 Drew Hey, everybody. Gotta apologize for Lisa Dergan's outburst last week. She's obviously passionate about this morning after pill in the FDA. You go to www.benchwarmer.com, by the way. You get a nice, nice, well, you get the Bench Warmer cards here. We'll give you a free pack, yes? Yes, and you get the collector pack, which is the one minus the gum.

40:45 Lisa Dergan Minus the gum.

40:46 Drew That's right. All right, let's get to the phones, Drew.

40:48 Adam Good, Adam.

40:49 Drew Come on, buddy.

40:50 Adam Break it down. Jenny.

40:51 Drew Jenny, you're 20.

40:52 Caller Yes, I am. I'm about six weeks pregnant, and I did take the morning after pill. Within, I think it was less than 24 hours that I took it.

41:01 Adam It's not 100 percent.

41:06 Caller What are the effects of it? I mean, how does it guarantee it, I guess?

41:10 Adam It doesn't guarantee anything. It works by suppressing an egg from being released from your ovary. If the egg had already been released, you're going to get pregnant. Very simple.

41:20 Caller Now then, my next question is, what are the effects on the baby if I decide to have a baby?

41:24 Adam Zero. Absolutely nothing.

41:26 Caller My other question is...

41:27 Drew I don't expect great things anyway, though. I mean, I... Well, no, I'm just saying you don't want to...

41:32 Adam You're playing the odds?

41:33 Drew Well, I'm playing the odds. I'm also saying that, you know, going with low expectations, and the kid graduates from college, it's a nice, pleasant surprise.

41:42 Lisa Dergan I have a question for her before she goes to the next one. What were the effects of taking it? Because even just the pill makes me nauseous. I couldn't imagine the morning after pill. That's got to be like a big horse pill or something. I don't know.

41:56 Adam No, it isn't. It actually has...

41:57 Drew You take a rectal, so...

41:59 Adam Plan B has progesterone. It doesn't have estrogen, so it doesn't make you sick. At all. Not typically.

42:05 Drew But you take like three, right?

42:06 Adam The Prevent can make you sick, which has estrogen.

42:09 Drew Mm-hmm. Hey, Jenny?

42:11 Caller Yes.

42:12 Drew Is the dad around?

42:14 Caller Yeah, kind of.

42:16 Adam Uh-oh.

42:16 Caller Kind of. No, he doesn't. No, he's not happy about it.

42:19 Adam All right.

42:20 Caller But I did have another question, though.

42:21 Drew How about adoption?

42:23 Caller No, I wouldn't consider adoption.

42:25 Adam How dare you, Anna?

42:26 Drew You're screwing it up yourself.

42:28 Adam What's your other question?

42:29 Caller What about the abortion pill?

42:31 Caller I think it's the RU.

42:33 Adam 46. That's a totally different thing. That is an abortion pill.

42:35 Caller Well, no, and I'm asking if I decide to do that.

42:38 Caller My doctor told me I had until the 18th to still do that.

42:41 Adam Right.

42:42 Caller So what are the risks with that?

42:44 Caller And I heard that it's also still not 100% that you might still have to go in for the procedure.

42:48 Adam That's true. But it's fairly effective. It's fairly effective. And the bleeding is the most significant complication.

42:55 Drew You know the thing, I know I'm the 200th person to bring this up today, but I find it incredible that the RU 486 is, to me, you know, 86 means you're out of there. We'd always say in construction, a guy got fired, he'd get 86. I don't know where 86 comes from, but 86 is a fairly well-known meaning you're gone.

43:15 Lisa Dergan It was a food term when I was a waitress.

43:17 Drew 86 means what someone left?

43:19 Lisa Dergan Yeah, 86 the mustard, yeah.

43:20 Drew Oh, get rid of the mustard. Yeah, 86 doesn't even just mean like you're fired or you have to leave, it means it's gone. And the idea of this thing calling RU 486 being an abortion bill just sounds like an abortion clinic doctor's, you know, vanity plate. Yeah, it's like it's really like I don't know if as long as you're just picking random things and stuff, doesn't anyone want to pipe up and go, let's just make an RP for it.

43:47 Adam It was a French. It was a French product.

43:50 Drew Let's make it three. Let's get rid of four.

43:51 Adam It'd be Edvoo 486.

43:54 Drew Yeah. That's the same when you were waitressing, right? Yeah, 80. Where'd you waitress?

44:01 Lisa Dergan San Diego.

44:01 Adam Really?

44:02 Drew Nice.

44:03 Lisa Dergan I was really good at it, too.

44:04 Adam Oh, really?

44:05 Drew Why?

44:06 Lisa Dergan I would stack everything up my arm.

44:08 Drew Oh, really? Do that thing with the plate where you hold three plates?

44:11 Lisa Dergan More than three.

44:12 Drew Oh, more than three?

44:12 Lisa Dergan Yeah.

44:13 Drew That's a lot because you can only do it on, you do the one over the hand and then one in the middle and then one as it gets to the crease of the elbow, right?

44:20 Lisa Dergan They are smaller plates. I think everyone should be.

44:24 Adam In food service?

44:25 Lisa Dergan Yeah. At one point in their high school or college years because, man.

44:30 Drew It's tough?

44:31 Lisa Dergan You just had to deal with a lot of different types of people.

44:34 Drew Yeah. Well, you had a bunch of guys trying to pick you up all the time, right?

44:37 Lisa Dergan Well, the tips were good, yeah.

44:38 Drew The tips are good.

44:39 Adam But then you had people who were kind of paying the ass and yelling at you.

44:42 Drew Yeah.

44:42 Lisa Dergan Not really.

44:43 Adam Everyone should be a doctor too, in my opinion. Really deal with people.

44:47 Drew I'm not sure how the patients would feel about that.

44:51 All right.

44:52 Drew Let's keep rocking here and talk to Levi.

44:57 Yeah.

44:57 Drew You're 20? Yeah, that's right. What's up?

45:01 Caller Actually, I just had a question for Drew.

45:02 Caller Drew, me and my girlfriend actually had sex in the hot tub on Friday night, and I was just wondering what kind of health things were involved with that, any kind of risks.

45:11 Adam Pregnancy.

45:13 Pregnancy, yeah.

45:14 Caller But she's on birth control and nothing went inside.

45:18 Drew She's fine. Sometimes you get a little diatomaceous earth up there.

45:21 Adam Sometimes women can get a vaginitis from that, but that's really it. Okay. There are certain fungous skin infections and things, but that's anybody in a hot tub.

45:28 Drew Yeah. Yeah. Good times. The real problem is the poor sap that's got to climb in there the next day with your nice jizz slick floating around in there. Honey, what happened? I don't know. Must have, a seagull must have crapped in here.

45:46 Adam That is just an image that will stay with me.

45:48 Drew And let me tell you something about semen in the hot tub.

45:52 Adam Please tell us. I've not heard enough yet.

45:54 Lisa Dergan I'm sure you know.

45:54 Adam I've not heard enough.

45:55 Drew Well, it's like it's like it's like a sea mine in that in that it's it's magnetized. When a freighter starts steaming by, it starts moving toward whatever's in the water. It doesn't just randomly bob around like a like a rubber ducky. It will find you. It's like a parasite. It's like a tick. You know what I mean? It's it feels your heat and starts coming after you. So you go into that you go into that body water, it will come find you. And if you got a little hair on your body with your with your Sherwood Forest, it's not it's not it's not going to come out. It's it's still God knows what I got on me. God knows. God knows the tubs I've been in the action I've seen a guy could be wearing the semen of a thousand men around my waist. Maybe more. Maybe more. Lisa Dergan here tonight. I'll be crashing into her path later on tonight after we got after we do our ambient and we're going to do some Jägermeister out in the parking lot. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

46:54 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal. Looking to hook up?

46:56 Caller Call the Dateline.

46:57 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

46:59 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:00 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:01 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:02 Caller 1-877-889.

47:35 Drew That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Lisa Dergan is here tonight. She's Stuff Magazine's sexiest sportscaster. You can also find her on the Best Damn Sports Show, period. And you can find her on these cards. It's really, it's a sweep in the nation, by the way, these Bench Warmer trading cards, Drew. Surprise your kids aren't into these things yet.

48:01 Adam Well, they will be. Yeah, I just saw what Chris was doing with them.

48:03 Drew Yeah, yeah.

48:05 Lisa Dergan Chris has a stack over there.

48:07 Adam But they're not stacked, they're sort of arranged in a very frightening little special arrangement.

48:12 Drew Yeah, remember those bad detective movies from the 70s when they would finally break into the guy's one bedroom apartment and they have pictures of the girl cut out, the eyes were always cut out or darkened in or something. He's gonna make a very, yeah, he's gonna make a very, he's gonna make a collage.

48:33 Adam With the spin arts.

48:37 Adam No.

48:37 Drew Except for, no, he's gonna make a very ghoulish collage out of those things, but he'll not be using paste to stick them to the construction paper. He'll be using crazy glue.

48:48 Adam Good times. I like the spin art.

48:49 Adam Yeah, the cool spin art, do it.

48:55 Drew And then you look at it with the black light. Yeah, oh, wait a minute.

49:01 Adam This is gonna sweep the nation.

49:02 Drew This is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is. Now, now for those, do they still have spin art?

49:08 Adam Of course not, you gotta explain what it is.

49:09 Drew Spin art is, now again, the Corollas never went in for this stuff because it would have been $1, $1.50 at the time, that's crazy expensive. Yeah, you take, essentially take a Potter's Wheel. This is a, do I have to explain what a Potter's Wheel is?

49:26 Adam It sort of spins real fast.

49:27 Drew You know what a Potter's Wheel is? Yeah, it's something you make ash trays out of clay on. You take that, you take a little card, it's like a little six by six card or three by six card.

49:40 Adam Cardboard, yeah.

49:40 Drew You stick it down to this thing and it spins. And then for Buck at the carnival, you take a little mustard and ketchup squirting container, except for they have paint in it, you squirt it on it while it's spinning around. And then when it stops, it turns out it made some funky kind of cool orbital design.

49:56 Adam Sort of a, yeah, sort of modern art spinning.

49:58 Lisa Dergan What would you do with it?

49:59 Adam You'd put it in your room and say, I made that.

50:02 Lisa Dergan I've never heard of this.

50:03 Drew Never heard of it.

50:04 Lisa Dergan No.

50:05 Adam She was playing golf.

50:07 Drew You're on the links.

50:07 Lisa Dergan Yeah.

50:08 Drew You're on the links. No, I never went to a fair and saw that spin art.

50:11 Adam She's too young for that.

50:12 Lisa Dergan I never saw spin art, but I used to go to the Del Mar fair and see.

50:15 Drew Spin around, yeah. I bet if you go to the fair tomorrow, they'll have that spin art stuff. They didn't care, yeah, that's still around. Anyway, point is, is if we could replace the paint with semen and the blank card with one of these bench warming cards, or your favorite model, and then you display it with the black light, now you got something. Chris, yeah. All right, buddy. I went to bring the black light and the card in tomorrow, okay?

50:47 Adam And I made that crazy noise.

50:50 Drew Just a potter's wheel, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. Yeah, just whizzing around. Yeah, now the good thing is there is a shroud that goes around it.

50:56 Adam Well, it looks like a cotton candy machine, really doesn't look like it.

50:58 Drew It's got the high plastic sort of bowl that the thing's inside of, so the paint doesn't go flying around and get all over your slats.

51:04 Adam Yes, the paint, yeah.

51:07 Drew We're gonna replace that, and then we look at it with the wood slide. It's gonna be great. Drew, seriously, this could really be, just look.

51:14 Adam I thought of it.

51:15 Drew Yeah, this is Drew's, this is his state. There's Jesus in urine, Drew's got the jizz on the spin art. It's gonna be great.

51:26 Adam John, I'll be proud of that always.

51:28 Yeah, how's it going, guys?

51:29 Drew You're 19?

51:30 Caller Yeah, I am. I wanted to say that I called in less than a week ago. I was the guy who was drinking 12-pack a day. And I just want to say that I cut down to about a six-pack a day now.

51:42 Drew Fantastic, have you heard of spin art?

51:44 Caller I have, I actually had one.

51:47 Drew Yeah. I bought one that was by Nickelodeon. He's 19 years of age now. See, it's not an age thing.

51:53 Lisa Dergan But is it only at the fair where this happened?

51:55 Adam It's at like Piers, fairs on the pier, would you say?

51:58 Drew And anywhere there's milk bottles to be knocked over with softballs, there's spin art.

52:04 Adam Or they're headbanded.

52:04 Drew Go ahead, Jen.

52:06 Caller What I wanted to say is I had a panic attack today. I was, I remember Dr. Drew said, go ahead.

52:14 Drew Have you?

52:15 Adam Yeah, well, you're having alcohol withdrawal is the problem. And you need to, John, you need to get this medically managed. If you're starting to have panic and anxiety and tremulousness, this is your brain withdrawing from the alcohol.

52:27 Lisa Dergan And it'll get quite costly.

52:29 Caller How's that?

52:31 Lisa Dergan Always buying the booze every day.

52:33 Adam Well, yeah, but he's alcoholic. And going from six to zero is gonna be actually kind of dangerous.

52:39 Drew Really?

52:39 Adam Yeah.

52:40 Drew Oh, from six to zero. Now, going from a 12 pack a day to a six pack a day, not bad, not dangerous?

52:45 Adam You just get some symptoms, yeah, like he's getting panic and anxiety, sleep problems.

52:48 Drew Now you're talking about cold turkey.

52:49 Adam Now you're taking it all the way down. And people don't taper down from the drug of choice. They just don't do it. It just never works.

52:55 Lisa Dergan So what do you suggest he does?

52:57 Adam You need to get treated, John. You need to be seen by somebody who's addiction medicine certified or a psychiatrist. And there are medicines that can give you, listen, 60% of delirium DTs ends up in fatality. Alcohol withdrawal is the only drug withdrawal that is commonly fatal.

53:13 Drew What happens?

53:15 Adam They get a collapse of the autonomic function of the nervous system. Their pulse goes out of control. Their respiration becomes dysfunctional. They get pneumonia and they die.

53:24 Drew Really?

53:25 Adam Usually true DTs only emerges though when there's a second medical problem. Again, like an infection, pneumonia, heart attack, that kind of thing.

53:31 Drew True DTs or true deaths from DTs?

53:33 Adam True DTs, usually, which is this uncontrolled outflow from the central nervous system, which results in a cardiovascular collapse, usually is with a second medical problem.

53:42 Drew But you can get the DTs and not die, right?

53:45 Adam You can, but people just think of tremors and vomiting as DTs, that's just tremors and vomiting. DTs is fever and high pulse rate and low blood pressure.

53:54 Lisa Dergan So is he gonna have to eventually have nothing? He can't just be the occasional pay a glass of wine? No, he's an alcoholic.

54:00 Adam I know that's hard for Lisa to get her hand out.

54:02 Drew It's tough for her. Yeah.

54:03 Adam But yeah, no, he's tough.

54:05 Lisa Dergan He's an alcoholic. I really like a glass of wine.

54:07 Adam He's an alcoholic.

54:09 Drew I'll be crashing at your pet tonight. I'll be bringing that glass of wine.

54:13 Lisa Dergan You are so not even gonna know where I live.

54:15 Adam Oh, believe me, I can follow you.

54:18 Drew And I'm like an Indian. I put my head to the ground. I can find a hot chick.

54:21 Lisa Dergan I'll drive really fast.

54:22 Adam Inspector Clouseau here.

54:23 Drew Yeah, I put my head down. Many blondes travel many moments this way. Manatee. And then I do that thing where I hold my hand up and there's a bunch of guys behind me in the cars and they stop and I consult, you know what I mean? And I reach down and I pick up like a discarded Kleenex on the side of the road and I sniff it. Mm-hmm, yah, she traveled towards sun and meata. You'll pay much swamp for a squaw like this. And then we just keep going, wait, we'll find you. We'll crash right in your house. We? Me, my posse.

55:05 Adam Your posse.

55:06 Drew My Indian posse. All right, where are we, Drew?

55:09 Adam We're talking to Michelle.

55:10 Drew Well, Lisa was saying she gets panic attacks on occasion.

55:14 Lisa Dergan Now, I think I had a panic attack.

55:16 Drew Mm-hmm.

55:17 Lisa Dergan I had shortness of breath.

55:18 Caller Mm-hmm.

55:20 Lisa Dergan I've always got 20 things going on and I just felt a little anxiety going on.

55:25 Drew Mm-hmm. You're one of those overachiever chicks, yeah?

55:28 Lisa Dergan I guess so.

55:29 Drew You're like a pusher. You're going.

55:31 Lisa Dergan I'm going.

55:32 Drew Yeah, and you're also one of these people that needs to be perceived a certain way. And I don't mean that in a bad way, but you're together. You smell good, you look good. There's a pressure to being you. You gotta keep it together a lot. You're a pleaser.

55:49 Lisa Dergan I didn't think of it like that.

55:51 Adam Oh yeah. I think we need to be perfect.

55:53 Drew Yeah, you need to be perfect.

55:54 Lisa Dergan Nobody's perfect.

55:55 Adam I know, but.

55:56 Drew Yeah, but you try. You gotta try. You put too much pressure on yourself to try.

56:01 Adam Well, you don't even say too much. You're putting.

56:03 Drew Actually.

56:04 Adam You're sort of passing judgment when you say too much. You put a lot of pressure. You try to be perfect, that's right.

56:08 Drew Well, who we can. I don't try to be perfect. I'm talking to an adult woman. Yeah, listen. I'm telling you. I know what you got.

56:15 Adam People get defensive when you say.

56:17 Drew Don't get defensive. I wish more women were like you, but I know your makeup. You are a pleaser in the sense that you don't want people to perceive you as anywhere other than well put together and well spoken and perfect for lack of a better term. And it's a lot of pressure. See what I'm saying?

56:39 Lisa Dergan Well, the alternative is not what.

56:42 Adam Yeah. See what she's going to take from that is, well, who wouldn't want to be that perceived that way?

56:46 Drew Yeah.

56:47 Lisa Dergan But I don't agree with what you're saying. I'm not trying to be perfect.

56:50 Adam Not better than, not better than. And by the way, it shouldn't, it shouldn't.

56:55 Lisa Dergan I put a, yeah, I'm a high achiever.

56:58 Adam Yeah. It's usually feeling less than that makes you feel that you need to be perfect.

57:00 Drew Well, hold on, I wanna get stuck on semantics here.

57:03 Adam So we're getting through here.

57:04 Drew Thank you. Well, you are. Here's my point. First off, striving to be perfect, not a bad thing. It just puts a lot of pressure on you. That's where you can have a panic attack. That's all I'm saying.

57:16 Adam That's true.

57:17 Lisa Dergan Okay, so that's what that was? It was in the middle of the day.

57:21 Drew Well, it ends up being a lot of work being you, if you think about it. I don't mean that in a horrible way either, but I just mean once you look this way and you present this way and people are used to seeing you, then it's like you can't have a bad day. You can't be in a bad mood.

57:37 Lisa Dergan Oh, I have bad days.

57:39 Drew You can, you just can't do it in front of other people.

57:45 Lisa Dergan I think it's funny because the panic attack happened when, you know, everything's right. So I don't know why I had a panic attack.

57:54 Drew Yeah, why, Drew?

57:55 Lisa Dergan Unless that's not what it was, but I think it was.

57:59 Adam Panic can occur. It's real hard to predict when a panic can occur. And they usually out of the blue and they're not necessarily in times when you're feeling blue or bad or anxious. They just power occur.

58:09 Lisa Dergan I'm never really blue.

58:11 Drew I see.

58:11 Lisa Dergan I'm a peppy girl.

58:12 Drew That's what we're talking about. Give yourself, give yourself the freedom to be a little blue every once in a while. Have a, have a, take a mean day. Put on some sweatpants.

58:23 Adam Oh, that's me. One of the things, one of the things that can't happen if you tend to be perfectionistic is that you can get so invested in that.

58:29 Drew Drew's that way too.

58:30 Adam I'm very much that way. You get so much invested in that part of yourself that your genuine needs get sort of not paid attention to so much. And that can lead to panic too. That's true.

58:39 Drew That's what happened to Drew.

58:40 Adam And so you're.

58:42 Lisa Dergan That's true.

58:43 Drew You put too much pressure.

58:46 Adam But you're not aware of it because you're just busy. You're just moving along.

58:49 Lisa Dergan So I should just try the Adam way.

58:51 Adam Yeah. Go. Yeah.

58:53 Lisa Dergan The opposite.

58:55 Adam No, Adam, listen to Spinard and he listens.

59:00 Lisa Dergan And he's in Jacuzzi by himself watching things float around.

59:03 Drew Well, they're coming to me though. Remember that. Michelle?

59:08 Caller Yeah.

59:09 Drew You're 18?

59:10 Caller Yes.

59:11 Drew What's up?

59:12 Caller I have a question. I'm trying to get on the pill. And the doctor told me that when I started my period next cycle to start taking the pill this Sunday after I started it. I just ended my period about last Saturday.

59:30 Adam Yeah.

59:30 Caller But I got it again this weekend. I took the emergency contraceptive, which the morning after pill a week ago.

59:39 Adam Yes, that will screw your period all up. Yes, just get on the pill. Don't worry about it. Just get going. That business of starting the Sunday after your period all of a sudden, that's sort of an old fashioned way of doing it. Just get going. Get going. Start taking the pill. Get going.

59:52 Drew Get going. Stop talking when Drew's talking. Please just let him tell you what he's trying to say.

59:56 Adam There's a growing sort of consensus that people should start the pill when you put it in their hands. Go. Start the pill. Your period's all screwed up because of the morning after pill. Don't worry about that.

1:00:10 Lisa Dergan Just give it time. It'll regulate, right?

1:00:12 Adam Yes, glad you're paying attention.

1:00:14 Drew All right, baby doll.

1:00:16 Adam There we go.

1:00:16 Drew Take that pill. Okay. All righty. It's a weird impulse to not let people finish their sentence.

1:00:24 Adam I keep thinking it's the phone or the something.

1:00:26 Drew Yeah, it's a little of that. But it's also a little nerves. People either don't talk or they talk too fast. Yeah, she was nervous. That's all right. That's all right. You're not gonna have a panic attack, are you? No. You're feeling good, right?

1:00:40 Lisa Dergan No, I'm feeling great.

1:00:41 Drew All right, let's talk to John, who's 20. John?

1:00:47 How's it going? How's it going?

1:00:48 Drew Good.

1:00:49 Caller I had a question for Dr. Drew. When I'm first with a girl, when we're having sex for the first time with a girl, I can go for a long time. As I get comfortable with a woman, it's just not long anymore.

1:01:07 Adam That's because you're not nervous anymore.

1:01:11 Caller I mean like quick. Like a minute and then I was wondering if I had anything to do with like, cause I'm not circumcised.

1:01:19 Adam Nothing. No.

1:01:21 Caller Nothing.

1:01:24 Adam Nothing. Well, there's something you can do about it. You can masturbate before you have sex, that kind of thing.

1:01:29 Drew I do it while I'm having sex.

1:01:30 Adam I know you do.

1:01:31 Drew Yeah.

1:01:32 Caller But I've tried that.

1:01:33 Adam While you're running away from the slick.

1:01:36 Drew That's right.

1:01:36 Caller Why what?

1:01:37 Lisa Dergan You guys are married.

1:01:38 Drew Go ahead, John.

1:01:39 Caller Well, I've tried that because I listened to you for a long time, about three or four years ago. I've heard that and I've tried that. That doesn't work. I've tried to pull the foreskin up during the day. I've heard that.

1:01:49 Adam No, forget, forget, take your attention away from the circumcision that has nothing to do with this.

1:01:55 Drew Yeah.

1:01:56 Adam Think about it. How could it be both? How could it cause you to be both prolonged initially and quick later?

1:02:03 Drew Well, he's not asking about the prolonged part. He's asking about the quick part. And he may be extra sensitive. And that's what does it.

1:02:10 Adam No, that's nothing to do with it. Nothing to do with it.

1:02:14 Drew First off, Drew, who's always right between me and you?

1:02:17 Adam Why isn't he extra sensitive when he gets going at the first place?

1:02:20 Drew Well, those nerves are factors.

1:02:25 Caller There's not much I can do.

1:02:27 Drew Well, here's what you can do. You can stop focusing on your foreskin 100%.

1:02:32 Adam Yes, take the mind off that.

1:02:34 Drew Number one, because there's billions and billions of men who aren't cut and who don't have this problem.

1:02:40 Adam Exactly.

1:02:41 Drew So that you can go ahead and rule out of the equation. The next part is you can stop fretting about everything.

1:02:47 Lisa Dergan That's what's doing it.

1:02:48 Drew Yeah, you just find yourself a girl, get comfortable with her.

1:02:51 Adam Maybe go twice with her.

1:02:53 Drew Go twice. Give her that oral sex. Yeah, get good at that. Believe me, when the meter's running, once you get down there. What? Well, I'm just saying, you take that two-minute session, you turn into 22 minutes by going down on her for 20 minutes. See what I'm saying? It's like a cab. You hop in the cab, you think, oh, well, we're not driving anywhere. I'm just sitting in a cab. Oh, the meter's running. The time, the sexual meter is running.

1:03:20 Adam I'm not sure Lisa's on board with this.

1:03:22 Drew No, Lisa's on board with this. But here's what I'm saying. You got a guy that can only last two, three minutes. Okay, not a great thing. But if he goes down on you and does a nice job for 20 minutes, then you can look at it as a 20 minute plus session, basically, as opposed to just a quick hit. And guys don't do that. Guys want to add another minute and a half to the intercourse. We're saying, yeah, just get down there and do a fantastic job downstairs and you will have a satisfied customer. Yes?

1:03:54 Lisa Dergan I agree.

1:03:54 Drew You agree. You're a woman of passion. Yes?

1:03:57 Lisa Dergan Your hair.

1:03:57 Drew Yes, that's right. Oh, you're getting that St. Poly girl outfit. True, they wear the skirt with like the later hose and skirt on it. The big frilly thing. Oh man. I have it at home. Do you?

1:04:11 You can wear it if you'd like. I'm crashing.

1:04:14 Drew The knee-high socks. Knee-high socks.

1:04:17 Lisa Dergan No, I didn't wear knee-high socks. Oh, you didn't? It was just like a corset, white corset.

1:04:21 Drew A little red skirt. Slow down, yes.

1:04:23 Lisa Dergan You only wear it when you do the photo shoot.

1:04:25 Drew No, you don't. No, you wear it all the time, watch. I'm gonna close my eyes up. Yep, there you are. You're in it. You never take it off. It's like, it becomes like a GI. Joe's outfit or something that's just his outfit. What'd you wear for socks? Just shoes?

1:04:40 Lisa Dergan Just little black heels.

1:04:41 Drew No black heels? Oh, that's right. You know, no, maybe I'm thinking.

1:04:44 Lisa Dergan It's an updated version.

1:04:45 Drew I maybe think of the Oranjeboom girl or whoever that, remember that beard roof?

1:04:49 Adam I have heard of Oranjeboom, the Dutch beard.

1:04:51 Drew Yeah, I think she may have had some knee socks. Anyway, we're going to implement knee socks into the outfit. Because it could work.

1:04:58 Lisa Dergan It could be whatever you want it to be.

1:04:59 Drew All right, that's right. Chris, you getting this? For your spin art collection tonight? Yeah. So all right, same polygour. Oh, and a little puffy shoulder things with the, did it have the elastic on the shoulders?

1:05:12 Lisa Dergan On the arm.

1:05:13 Drew On the arms, right?

1:05:14 Lisa Dergan And it was kind of off the shoulder.

1:05:16 Drew Oh, yes, yes.

1:05:18 Adam Oh, that's the puffy thing you're talking about.

1:05:19 Adam Yeah, go get the beard.

1:05:20 Lisa Dergan German looking.

1:05:21 Adam Yeah.

1:05:23 Drew John?

1:05:24 Yeah.

1:05:25 Drew You're 21?

1:05:26 Caller Yes, sir.

1:05:27 Drew Turn your radio down, please.

1:05:31 Adam Truck driver, what's he doing?

1:05:33 Drew What are you doing, John?

1:05:35 Caller Drug driver, I'm on the road right now.

1:05:37 Drew All right.

1:05:37 Adam Sounds like a noisy piece of equipment he's driving.

1:05:40 Drew What is happening?

1:05:43 Adam 21, the other 20 year olds drive trucks?

1:05:45 Caller My girlfriend, when we have sex, she slipped up a couple of times and said she wishes my penis was a little bit longer, which I do too. I was wondering if there's a possibility, if there's something besides surgery that'll make my penis longer, without having to have surgery permanently. And I was wondering if smoking would actually help me. If I quit smoking, it'll help the weight.

1:06:16 Adam No.

1:06:17 Drew It never hurts to quit smoking, but that's not gonna do anything to your penis.

1:06:20 Adam Well, it helps the blood supply, so it might help the tumescence.

1:06:23 Drew He's 21.

1:06:24 Adam All right.

1:06:25 Drew You gotta need like another 20 pack here before it starts making a dent or in the dork. But here's the thing, weights, weights will do something.

1:06:34 Adam We heard that from Dr. Alter.

1:06:36 Drew Yes.

1:06:36 Lisa Dergan How does that work?

1:06:38 Drew Well.

1:06:38 Adam Stretching it out.

1:06:39 Drew You take a weight and you put it right on there. And eventually, you know, it starts heading down toward terra firma. Now, I don't know, I don't know what it does for your erection. And also Dr. Alter, who is in, they unfortunately named Dr. Alter, who was in here talking about, who does the gender reassignment, was talking to us about weights in conjunction with the ligament snip. No, well, I think they cut it. Right, right. It's not a football injury, it's something crazy people pay for. But they snip the ligament down there, then they essentially put the weight on it, and it starts to essentially pull it out. It's like taking a mailbox and pulling it out of the stick that's in the lawn with, just lifting it up a little bit. You can use some weights even without the cut. It's a stupid thing, but if you're gonna be sitting in a truck for 14 hours a day.

1:07:33 Adam What's with the girlfriend? We don't know what he's in on.

1:07:36 Lisa Dergan I actually think that's kind of tacky of her to have said that, because now he's got the issue about it. Oh, really?

1:07:42 Drew Good.

1:07:43 Lisa Dergan And you know what? He should throw something right back at her.

1:07:46 Drew That's right, yeah. Tell her she's got hairy nipples. That'll freak her out.

1:07:52 Caller Smoking will help me increase my length.

1:07:54 Adam What is? What?

1:07:55 Drew Smoking will, oh, shut up. Smoking will help him increase his length. Alan?

1:08:05 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:08:06 Drew He's trying to help a trucker get a few extra inches on the dork and this is how he repays you?

1:08:10 Adam It's nice.

1:08:11 Drew I'm disgusted at all he is. Alan?

1:08:14 Caller Yes.

1:08:15 Drew You're 23, you're a virgin?

1:08:17 Caller Yes.

1:08:18 I have a whitehead on my penis. I'm curious as to whether or not it'd be safe to have sex with my girlfriend. I had parts of it a bunch of times over the last two years.

1:08:34 Adam And it keeps going back?

1:08:36 I went and saw a doctor the other day. He didn't seem all that concerned about it. What is it?

1:08:40 Drew He's calling it a whitehead.

1:08:43 What's that?

1:08:44 Adam And did he take it out?

1:08:45 Drew What's a whitehead?

1:08:48 Adam It's a recurrent pimple in the same spot?

1:08:51 Drew It means like a pimple whitehead.

1:08:53 Adam What do you mean pretty much? Is it exactly in the same spot?

1:08:56 Well, yeah, it's in the same spot, but it wasn't there when I showed it to him, but I popped it last night while I was in the john. Yeah.

1:09:05 Adam Where exactly do they occur?

1:09:09 You know the, I'm circumcised, so you know the brown ring? Just below that.

1:09:18 Adam So it's towards the tip?

1:09:20 Drew It's ring around the collar, we call that.

1:09:21 Adam That's the tip.

1:09:22 Drew It's right at the head there.

1:09:26 Adam Where is it?

1:09:28 I'm gonna say mid shaft.

1:09:29 Adam Mid shaft.

1:09:29 Drew Mid shaft. Yeah, hold on a second. Do we have to get into the brown ring around the head discussion if it's in the middle? It's like, yeah, your car's dented, what part? Well, you know the front fender? Yeah, well, this is the quarter pound. Just say the goddamn part. You have to discuss all the other parts that it's not?

1:09:48 Adam If it's healed, Alan, you're fine.

1:09:50 Drew Our callers, I don't understand these people.

1:09:52 Adam It's healed, right? It's healed now? Yes.

1:09:56 Caller Well, I don't know.

1:09:57 Drew Look, look, okay, Alan, listen to me. You're 23, you're a virgin, right? This is just the kind of talk and it's made you a virgin all these years. You got a girl stupid enough to agree to have sex with you now, right?

1:10:09 Caller Yeah.

1:10:09 Drew All right, then shut up.

1:10:10 Lisa Dergan Hey, I think it's Grady called if he's concerned.

1:10:13 Drew I think it's fantastic, too. Just be quiet and have sex, would you? Put the condom on. Is there any dumber people on the planet than the people that call this show?

1:10:26 Adam Tonight.

1:10:27 Drew I would hit our callers against any other radio program, national or local, and their stupidity.

1:10:34 Adam Tonight we'll win.

1:10:35 Drew They're confused by their own questions. Pop your zit, get to humping. Would you screwball? You're 23. Let's go now.

1:10:43 Adam Let's get a hand in it, Lisa.

1:10:45 Drew Get a hand in it. Break it down now. Listen, gentlemen, that helmet is not a chair. And I use that term, let's see, whatever. Yeah, all right. Loosely, gentlemen. All right, we got Lisa Dergan is here tonight. She's got herself some bench warmer training cards, trading cards. Chris gonna do a little spin art on those. Yeah. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:11:17 Caller Love Line will be right back.

1:11:18 Caller So get your problems ready.

1:11:20 Caller Ready.

1:11:33 Drew Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:11:34 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew.

1:11:36 Drew It's phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Lisa Dergan is here tonight. She's the babe from the Fox Sports Net. Yeah, also she can be found as a correspondent on the Best Damn Sports Show, period. And then has these new trading cards out. They're called BenchWarmers, and it's www.benchwarmer.com. You get a free one, you go there. Yeah, yeah. I'll give Chris another pack over there for a spin. It's great.

1:12:09 Adam He's so excited. Yeah, he is.

1:12:11 Drew You know what's great about having Chris over here, makes 10 bucks an hour. It's like, it's like, it's really, it's like working with a catfish. It's just, some guy sends us some crappy junk. Here you go, buddy. Someone sent us some flash-frozen White Castle Burgers the other day and a T-shirt that says, you know, a big Johnson pipe fitting equipment. The guy with the stupid gay, here you go, buddy.

1:12:39 Adam Isn't it more like a big lab or something?

1:12:41 Drew No, no, catfish.

1:12:42 Adam Catfish?

1:12:43 Drew Catfish. It's just, whatever you don't, you know, whatever comes out of you that, what your waste is his dinner. That's all I'm saying. And I don't mean that, I don't mean that in a bad way.

1:12:54 Adam So it didn't come out that way at all.

1:12:56 Drew I'm just saying, no, here's the thing. You work at a radio station, you get a fair amount of junk sent to you. I just don't have any more room for any more T-shirts or any more just, here, try this, try, you know, try this inflatable that or this novelty this. People send you stuff. They're well intentioned for the most part, but it's just so much junk that just ends up, you know what it ends up? It never gets out of your car. Ends up sliding around the trunk of your car for six months.

1:13:23 Lisa Dergan It never takes stuff out.

1:13:24 Drew And eventually, well you don't want to take it out of the car because you don't want to bring it into the house because of the inflatable sheep.

1:13:30 Lisa Dergan Don't even bring it in your car then.

1:13:32 Drew That's what I'm talking about with the catfish over here. Take the inflatable sheep and the flash frozen White Castle burgers. Here you go, buddy. That's right, and that's a big day for you, right?

1:13:46 Adam It's nice.

1:13:46 Drew Did you eat those White Castle burgers?

1:13:48 Caller Not yet.

1:13:49 Adam They're frozen.

1:13:50 Drew They're in your car?

1:13:51 Lisa Dergan No, no, no. You brought them in?

1:13:52 Caller They're in the kitchen.

1:13:53 Lisa Dergan Is this White Castle, like, an East Coast thing?

1:13:56 Drew It's an East Coast thing.

1:13:57 Lisa Dergan I don't know about it. I'm from San Diego. I'm in New York at a party, and there was all these White Castle little mini burgers.

1:14:06 Adam Right.

1:14:07 Drew White Castle and Spin Art, evidently are the two things that did not make it out to San Diego.

1:14:12 Lisa Dergan I'm sheltered.

1:14:13 Adam They don't have In-N-Out.

1:14:15 Adam Yeah.

1:14:15 Lisa Dergan Yeah, we've got that.

1:14:16 Drew Yeah, we got that. And I would say we, now here's the thing about, and here by the way, the thing about these regional foods, because I work in an office filled with guys from everywhere but California who love to argue about nothing the entire day. And you're always getting these arguments over who has the better burger and who's this and that. A lot of this stuff is just the one you enjoyed with your dad when you were nine. Right. It gets burned in just like some song that you think is great or some chick you think is hot, just because it's from that initial impression. That initial impression, yes. I think when you just sort of break it down though, I would say the In-N-Out Burger. Yeah, get a hand and break it down. I'd say the In-N-Out Burger probably superior to most burgers around the country. And I didn't try it when I was nine.

1:15:07 Adam I like the french fries. Good fries too. All right.

1:15:11 Drew I always feel like I'm getting chipped over there because I don't know the language.

1:15:15 Adam It's hard to make an order.

1:15:16 Drew There's some guy in front of you who's ordered the four by four manimal. And you just ordered the regular one and you feel like he knows something you don't know. But I can't figure out what he knows.

1:15:25 Adam All right.

1:15:26 Drew Lauren? You're 18? What's happening?

1:15:37 Caller And...

1:15:38 Drew Congratulations, baby. All right.

1:15:42 Caller And after that, I've gotten birth control and... So, over there, in the shot, and I was wondering if it was any cause to not wanting to be intimate with my boyfriend.

1:15:58 Adam Well, just having had a child can turn your libido down quite a bit, but I'll tell you what, that shot, the depo... What is that shot? It's a progesterone and it's a birth control shot. It's a three month shot. You basically bleed continuously for the first three months and you lose your period after that.

1:16:19 Drew Didn't Lee Green have to use the term bleed?

1:16:21 Adam You slough?

1:16:21 Drew What did I say? Slough. Now go ahead and start again.

1:16:25 Adam And.

1:16:26 Drew Start again.

1:16:27 Adam Lisa just did one of those.

1:16:29 Drew Start from the top, Drew.

1:16:30 Adam Yeah, it's a progesterone and so you get sloughing for three months.

1:16:34 Drew I'll just say you slough. Let's take it from the top.

1:16:37 Adam Progesterone agent. And hold on.

1:16:38 Drew And action.

1:16:39 Adam Progesterone agent makes you slough for three months and then you'd have no period after that. It's effective for three months and kids don't need to take it over and over again. They don't even remember to take a pill. And so it's a very effective birth control. But it has a lot of side effects for some women, interestingly, they get depressed, get energy problems and they lose their libido. They get really shut down.

1:16:59 Drew Is this boyfriend the same? That doesn't sound great for me.

1:17:01 Adam Well not, but some women, actually it enhances their libido. That's the craziness about women is that for us, as men anyway, it's such a tremendous spectrum of biological responses.

1:17:09 Drew It's a role of the vaginas, we like to say.

1:17:12 Adam Of the ovaries and the ovaries.

1:17:13 Drew Yeah, a role in those ovaries. Hey Lauren? Is this boyfriend of yours the same guy who's the father of your child? Very quaint. He's been working for about a whole five months, he's hung out. All right, what's he do?

1:17:28 Caller He goes to school just like me, but I work, so I work and go to school actually.

1:17:36 Drew Nice. I'm gonna go out of the way, out on a limb here and go junior college.

1:17:42 Adam How dare you?

1:17:44 Drew Yes? All right, that high school?

1:17:48 Caller Yeah.

1:17:49 Drew You guys going to junior college or high school? High school, what about him?

1:17:55 Caller He's same with him.

1:17:57 Drew Oh, you're both in high school? All right. Well, listen, forget about junior college. I know you're thinking about it now. Don't worry about junior college. You worry about me and a mom. He should worry about getting some work. Yeah? Now here's what he can do. He can do some sort of vocational thing where he learns how to do underwater welding or something for eight months. But then he gets busy right after that, gets some sort of degree, some sort of certificate and then pow. This is what everybody who isn't going to a regular college needs to do. They need to learn like a computer. They could be an ambulance driver. They could learn typewriter repair.

1:18:35 Adam Whatever.

1:18:36 Drew Whatever. Learn something, takes about six months and then pow, start working. And by the way, you can do okay with this stuff. You learn how to weld. You get a union gig, whatever. Next thing you know, you're getting 37 bucks an hour.

1:18:48 Adam Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

1:18:52 Drew Mike?

1:18:53 Adam Mm-hmm.

1:18:53 Caller Mm-hmm. Yeah. I was wondering, I heard you talk about sex addicts before. Mm-hmm. And just like when I heard you talk about it, like I'm really addicted to like phone sex and cyber sex and stuff like that. Mm-hmm. I was wondering if that was a characteristic or, you know.

1:19:13 Drew Of addiction?

1:19:15 Adam Yeah, I mean cyber, you know, the whole idea of internet porn addiction is a growing area of expression of sexual addiction. There's really.

1:19:25 Caller Do you have any idea where that could come from or?

1:19:27 Adam Well, if sexual addiction in general, if first of all, you want to predict, you want to have a diagnosis, you want to have a family history of alcoholism.

1:19:35 Drew What's 17 year old isn't gonna get addicted.

1:19:37 Adam Yeah, I know that's what I'm listening to. Do you have any addiction in your family, alcoholism?

1:19:42 Caller No, the only thing that I could ever think of was, I mean, and probably not even a big deal. It's just like when I was like three, three or four, like I just had like a girl next door and like we used to pretend we were married and like did, you know, stupid like, you know, like, you know, the marriage game.

1:19:59 Adam But not, I beg your pardon. But no intercourse, anything like that. No, no. Yeah, nothing directed sexually.

1:20:06 Caller No, that's insane.

1:20:07 Adam But look, you may just be a 17 year old who just has a basic crack pipe sitting in his bedroom, which is the internet.

1:20:14 Drew I mean, Drew, imagine. Imagine 16, 17 years old, a magical box.

1:20:25 Adam In your room.

1:20:25 Drew It's in your room, and this is a porthole to the world. It's like, hey, you know that Alyssa Milano, you see her on that TV show? Wanna see her topless? Yeah, what do I gotta do?

1:20:36 Adam Climb Mount Kilimanjaro?

1:20:38 Drew No, no, it's right here in the box. Just type her name in. What? Yeah, yeah. Paris Hilton, you seen that show? I take rough cut diamonds and drag them to Indonesia? No, no, it's right in the box. There she is. Like, if someone could bring you back, if someone built a time machine and just brought you that, oh my God. You got a question? You got term paper coming up, right? You got a question about something?

1:21:08 Adam You go to the library, right?

1:21:09 Drew No, no, no, it's in the box.

1:21:11 Adam You go to the library, flip through the cards.

1:21:12 Drew No, no, no, what are you doing to turn paper on?

1:21:15 Adam Uh, MacKillam-Majoro, interestingly.

1:21:17 Drew MacKillam-Majoro, there you go. It's printing. It's printing your page. It's printing your term page. You got to type your name in, though.

1:21:24 Adam Where's, where's Melissa Malano?

1:21:26 Drew I'll get back there. Yeah, that's it. What are you into? You into big jugs? You into black chicks, black and white, anal, big dongs, stump horn. What are you into? What do you like? I'll just type, I'll just type right in. Give me a word.

1:21:37 Caller Here's a butt on the floor.

1:21:38 Drew Yeah. There's a magic butt. You'd be up all night with a pistol, like just sitting in front of it, like just sweating like a whip and a pistol. Someone's got to try to get this box away from me. I won't let them do it.

1:21:51 Adam What? You were going nuts. Your head would just crack open, you'd explode. You'd explode.

1:21:58 Drew Your head would explode.

1:21:58 Adam You sound bitter. We missed it.

1:22:01 Drew Oh, I had my raft box.

1:22:03 Adam And the St. Pauli girl cut out.

1:22:07 Drew Good times. But the point is, is what would you be doing, yeah, what 17-year-old guy would not.

1:22:15 Adam It almost, it suggests, when you really think about it, it suggests a new sort of imperative in parenting. Help 17-year-old males contain themselves.

1:22:25 Drew Yes. It's true. What, I can't, especially, now here's the other thing too. You're going to be able to navigate, every kid who's, you know, born, you know, after 1990 is going to be able to navigate the computer like, you know, the technician of years ago. Just, I mean, type in 70 words a minute and stuff. They can find anything they want. So whatever, whatever it is, if they can't find a picture of their favorite star naked, they'll build one on the computer. I don't know how you're going to get, and if you think about, you know, when you were 15 or 16, Drew, in the crazy, you know, the testosterone kicking in, the hormones kicking in, what, what, how do you get yourself away from the computer? No?

1:23:18 Lisa Dergan What is this going to do? Desensitize everybody?

1:23:20 Adam I don't think it might charge them up. I think it might heat things up a bit. Mike's a great, we should sort of poke at Mike a little bit and see what this is going to bring.

1:23:29 Drew Mike?

1:23:30 Caller Yeah.

1:23:30 Drew So you've got a time machine?

1:23:33 Adam So you had no sexual abuse and no addiction to the family, right?

1:23:37 Caller No.

1:23:38 Adam So that sort of mitigates against it.

1:23:40 Drew It makes it unlikely that you're having it. Is the computer in your room?

1:23:43 Caller No, we just have a computer room and I usually do it, you know, like when my parents aren't home or whatever. I hope so.

1:23:50 Drew Do you do it in the middle of the night or do you just do it during the day when they're at work?

1:23:53 Caller Both.

1:23:54 Drew All right. And you sneak in and you see, here's the thing. If you have a computer, you put the computer in the middle of the living room, you have a spotlight on it, you put it inside a shark cage and that don't matter. You just have kid will dig under the house and come up through the bottom.

1:24:12 Adam Oh, absolutely.

1:24:15 Drew I'm angry. I don't know why I'm angry.

1:24:17 Adam So he's worried.

1:24:18 Lisa Dergan What's his question?

1:24:19 Adam He thinks he's doing too much of this and that it's, you know, he's getting out of control. Maybe he sounds compulsive about it. That's for sure.

1:24:24 Drew But we're sort of exploring whether or not that what's going on here is the only thing is the only thing I think is going to save a teenage boy is a girlfriend.

1:24:33 Adam Yeah.

1:24:33 Drew That's going to cut into it. Be a social life.

1:24:37 Adam Lots of friends, lots of activities and some some break it just like you would an eating habit or something. You know, it's it's any little compulsion.

1:24:45 Drew You got to start. Let me tell you the number of times I've said to myself no beating off and the times have actually not beat off after making the proclamation of no beating off as the shame you feel after you actually do. I'm disgusted.

1:24:58 Adam I'm disgusted.

1:24:59 Drew Not just myself.

1:25:00 Adam The world.

1:25:01 Lisa Dergan But do you think that going back to the sky, do you think that affects his relationships?

1:25:05 Drew He doesn't have any. That's the thing. He's 17. He's busy, you know, taking the wind out of his own sail. Here's what I'm saying. He's got it.

1:25:14 Adam First off, he's got to work.

1:25:15 Drew He's got to get something. He's got to get a girl and he's got to get activities. He's got to get a sport. He's got to get a hobby. He's got to get golf. That's what it means. You've got to get golf. Six hours out there chasing a ball around. All right, we're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back. Loveline.

1:25:33 Caller 191.

1:25:44 Drew Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Drew just scalded me with steaming hot water. Wait a minute, you scalded me or scalded me?

1:25:57 Adam Scalding is what you always do to me.

1:25:58 Drew Yeah, you scalded me, Drew. By the way, did you have that in the microwave?

1:26:03 Adam No.

1:26:03 Drew Oh, really? Just out of the hot tamp thing. Wow, thing was hot. Anyway, Drew's a clumsy man. He's a man of exquisite passion, but yet clumsy. So I could imagine.

1:26:15 Adam You're just coming to terms with that. You're just, oh yeah.

1:26:16 Drew No, I know. I just imagine the ladies. Here's a man who's, you know, highly motivated yet clumsy that could, you know, he could break some hearts, some Heimans, some furniture in the bedroom.

1:26:27 Lisa Dergan But that's endearing, guys like that.

1:26:29 Drew Yeah. Lisa Dergan, big fan of Dr. Drew over there. She's a woman of passion herself, yes? And here Chris has got some paper towels. Hold on a second. Chris, you may take one of those paper towels for yourself. It's gonna be a long ride home with those trading cards. Long ride, you know what I'm saying? Why ruin the nice velour interior in the Ranger? Oh yes, nothing wrong with that.

1:26:55 Adam You need to give him something to collect for his spin art. Forget the paper towel.

1:27:02 Drew All right, Lisa Dergan here tonight.

1:27:04 Adam I'm gonna go visit his brother tomorrow.

1:27:07 Drew www.benchwarmer.com Engineer Chris' brother works at a Starbucks somewhere around. Well, it's within a 40 mile radius of where Drew works. Drew thinks he can get to save a nickel on a medium of a cup of Java. So far, no go, but he's going back again. Yeah. Have your brother.

1:27:26 Maybe he'll cut like 10 cents off.

1:27:28 Drew Yeah, have your brother float Drew a Breiko there. How many times we gotta mention the place on the air before he gives you a cup of Joe?

1:27:34 Adam Exactly.

1:27:36 Drew Let's, I had a weird thing happen to me. I was, I went to the coffee bean place down the street from Kimmel's. And we go there, all the writers go there after the lunch meeting every day, get a cup of coffee. And I always pay. And I had a guy who never pays, who was with me, who wanted to get his card stamped. And I don't have a card. Drew, what are you doing?

1:28:04 Adam What are you doing there, Chris? We're getting it a little, okay, go ahead, I'm sorry.

1:28:10 Drew What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you?

1:28:13 Adam You had to see what I saw. I was trying to get your attention.

1:28:16 Drew Well, you guys got a boner.

1:28:17 Adam I know.

1:28:18 Drew He's trying to sit down with a boner. It's not easy. I understand.

1:28:23 Adam He's right at the coffee.

1:28:24 Drew So they stamped the card. I don't have the card. That's low rent. You know that card where you go, you get 10 of them, you get one free? But the guy I did buy the coffee for had the card. He wanted to get his card stamped, even though I bought him the coffee. Yeah. I told him no. You know what I mean? You're a prick. That's a power move, right?

1:28:42 Adam No.

1:28:43 Drew And he was like, they were like, well, we'll stamp any card because you guys, you just bought five coffees. I don't have a card.

1:28:48 Adam You're bringing an A-hole.

1:28:49 Drew I was bringing an A-hole.

1:28:50 Adam Yeah.

1:28:50 Drew But it's a nice move.

1:28:52 Adam Yeah.

1:28:52 Drew And he was like, well, why don't you, why don't you just stamp? I said, no, don't stamp his card. There'll be no stamping. Yeah.

1:28:58 Lisa Dergan So you're calling your friend low rent.

1:29:00 Drew Yeah. I don't have a card to stamp. I just don't want, that's my move. You see what I'm saying? That's a power move. Does that turn you on, Lisa?

1:29:06 Lisa Dergan No, that wouldn't turn me on.

1:29:08 Drew I thought so. What'd she say?

1:29:13 Adam Claudia, 22. Claudia. There you are.

1:29:18 Drew Well, Mayan was so powerful, he could buy three medium coffees and then not get his buddy's card stamped. That kind of power, that kind of flagrant power doesn't turn you on.

1:29:27 Lisa Dergan It's not enough.

1:29:30 Adam La-dee-dah. You have to buy like 10 coffees.

1:29:33 Drew Claudia?

1:29:34 Lisa Dergan Yes.

1:29:35 Drew You're 22. No one's named Claudia anymore. Did you notice that?

1:29:37 Adam I didn't notice that.

1:29:38 Drew What happened to Claudia?

1:29:39 Adam It's a pretty name.

1:29:40 I don't know.

1:29:41 Drew All right, go ahead.

1:29:42 So my question is, I like rough sex.

1:29:46 Adam Sure.

1:29:47 And I also mean kind of like role playing, like a little bit of bondage, nothing too severe, and it's with someone I trust very much. But I'm concerned about the activity just because I'm surprised that I'm so drawn to it.

1:30:04 Adam Mm-hmm.

1:30:06 Adam And what's your question?

1:30:07 Drew Do you have a safe word when you guys get rough?

1:30:10 A safe word? We've never gotten rough enough that that's really been necessary. All right. I know what you mean.

1:30:20 Lisa Dergan I don't know what you mean. What does that mean?

1:30:22 Drew Safe word?

1:30:23 Lisa Dergan When it gets a little too far.

1:30:24 Drew Later when I crash into your house? I was explaining it.

1:30:28 Adam I think that...

1:30:30 Drew I gotta explain this. Safe word.

1:30:33 Lisa Dergan I think I get it, but...

1:30:34 Adam Well, it's all right.

1:30:35 Drew Let's say if you're into the rough trade, you're like a little bondage.

1:30:38 Lisa Dergan This is the S&M thing going on.

1:30:39 Drew Little S&M going on. We get a little role playing. I give a little tug of the hair, how much you love it, talk about the spin-R. And I give it a tough talk. I'm like, those crappy trading cards, no gum. What were you thinking, bitch? Shh, don't talk.

1:30:55 Caller All as you're holding the hair.

1:30:56 Drew I'm grabbing your hair.

1:30:57 Adam Don't look at me.

1:30:58 Drew Don't look at me.

1:30:58 Adam Don't look at me.

1:31:00 Drew This is what it's gonna sound like when we get it off.

1:31:14 Lisa Dergan Is that you?

1:31:16 Adam David on a career doing an Adam impersonation.

1:31:19 Drew That's what it's gonna be like.

1:31:21 Lisa Dergan And at one point the safe word gets said and it all goes back to hi honey.

1:31:27 Drew If it gets out of hand, we got a safe word, you see? And I hear that safe word and I know to stop. Like for us it'd be my boyfriend's home. That'd be our safe word. All right, I hear that, I pull right out. Yes Drew? Yes. All right.

1:31:47 Adam I just remember the I hate your mother story.

1:31:52 Caller No, but like I said, that's not really the issue that I'm calling about. I'm just concerned that that's what I'm drawn to because the behavior itself is something that has so much stigma attached to it.

1:32:04 Adam All right, well. What does that mean, stigma attached to it? Just a little bit. It can mean things and if you need high levels of arousal in order to feel sexual, it can mean that the parts of your brain that sort of normally become aroused have been, let's call it burned out or changed as a result of high levels of maybe abuse or even deprivation in childhood. And so these are ways that those things happen. If you're just into this as sort of a style, something you kind of just enjoy, that's fine. But if you need it to function sexually, then it means something.

1:32:37 Caller What do you mean by deprivation in terms of childhood?

1:32:41 Adam Well, if you were abandoned, neglected, that sort of thing.

1:32:44 Caller Wow, see that could strike a clue. And that's why I've always been curious because there's no sexual trauma. And that's often what people attribute to sort of the type of-

1:32:53 Adam No, it's different forms of abuse get you there.

1:32:56 Drew A little deprivation. So you were left alone.

1:32:59 Caller Or abandoned. I mean, not-

1:33:01 Drew All right. Latchkey kid, we used to call him back when they're making movies of the week about that sort of nonsense. All right, baby doll, how about a little therapy here, buddy? Could be. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:33:12 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up?

1:33:15 Caller So I was like you and I used to think that these datelines were totally cheesy. But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell? So I called the dateline and actually met a cool guy.

1:33:27 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:33:35 Caller This hour.

1:33:52 Drew Well, that's a show, everybody. I want to thank Lisa Dergan for coming in here. Always a delight. And a good sport, always a good sport.

1:34:00 Lisa Dergan You guys are like the married couple, I swear.

1:34:02 Adam Thanks.

1:34:03 Lisa Dergan So cute.

1:34:04 Adam Yeah.

1:34:05 Drew This week, I get to be the dude.

1:34:07 Adam No way.

1:34:08 Drew Oh yeah, because it's an odd, oh no.

1:34:10 Adam I caught last week.

1:34:13 Drew We gotta work this out. Yeah, we gotta have, what's our safe word?

1:34:17 Adam F you.

1:34:18 Drew Drew's safe word is I'm hungry. We go out, we go out the noggles at 4 a.m. Lisa Dergan, everybody, www.benchwarmer.com. Get these cards and get the Collector Series with no gum. They're gonna be worth something one day.

1:34:34 Caller Absolutely.

1:34:35 Drew Chris, you bring the spin art back tomorrow. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:41 Caller Good night.

1:34:45 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

1:35:00 Caller Classic alternative and the cutting edge.

1:35:58 Caller The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

1:36:47 Caller Get It On.

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Monday, May 10, 2004