Episode 1000610245488

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

0:58 Voiceover And listener discretion is advised.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:02 Adam Hey everybody, it's Loveline. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Dishonest, Bad Luck. Oh my God, is it hot. It is so effin MFNC.

1:18 Drew Ridiculous.

1:19 Adam Suckin M. Mother FN. Hot. I just, I walk around, first off I'm angry. I'm angry, I mean it was, now here's the thing, let me tell everyone a couple of things. First off, set a 100 year old record. I'm always surprised by the way, when they keep the, thanks baby doll, little coffee from. Junior, Producer Lorne. I'm always surprised when they tell you about these records, you know, that are 150 years old. Cause I picture 150 years ago, people just running around like ants bumping into each other, like, what are you keeping right? You had a thermometer? What were you doing with it? By the way, do we need a thermometer 50 years before air conditioning? Hey, here's how miserable you are.

2:16 Drew Ezekiel, fantastic. Look, it was all agricultural then. It really made a difference. Now what the hell?

2:22 Adam We can't control it.

2:23 Drew Now we're just whining.

2:24 Adam No, it's like having-

2:25 Drew Then it was our food.

2:26 Adam It's like having a remote, no TV for another 50 years. But the point is, is the record out here in Los Angeles, 100 years old. You don't see that too much. They'll do stuff where it broke a record from 1978 or something like that. Not into the 18s, over 100, 18 like 94. I didn't know there's people in California. Okay, 100 years old plus, and not only do we break the record, we shattered it.

3:00 Drew Yeah, this is April.

3:01 Adam We broke the record by like 10 degrees. So not only is the record over 100 years old, but we didn't beat it by two or three degrees. We beat it like almost 10 degrees.

3:10 Drew I'm least gratified to know that you and I were right saying, hey, this is like, huh? April, what's that?

3:16 Adam Nutty, cuckoo, crazy, miserable hot. Got home from work about six o'clock, went upstairs into my bedroom where the digital thermostat is, 92.

3:29 Drew In your room, in your house.

3:31 Adam Inside, nine, two in the bedroom. And it was nap time for the Ace man too. And that's just now, now there's trouble.

3:39 Caller Now there is trouble.

3:41 Adam All right, so they say it's gonna cool off 20 degrees tomorrow. 20 not enough. So 70 degrees would be nice.

3:49 Drew Yeah, they owe me a snowstorm or something.

3:52 Adam All I can say is sometime in August, it better dip into the 40s. Because we will not be even. Because it is imaginably brutally hot. Kathy?

4:04 Yeah.

4:04 Adam You're 20?

4:05 Caller Yeah.

4:06 Drew It's good to know at least you were working outside during all this.

4:08 Adam What's that?

4:08 Drew And in front of hot lights.

4:09 Adam That's good. All right, let's go. Kathy?

4:15 Yeah.

4:16 Adam Go ahead.

4:17 Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been together for a little less than a year. And he still hasn't been able to give me an orgasm. And I was just wondering if there's something wrong with me or what I can do differently to help.

4:28 Drew Have you ever had one?

4:30 Yes.

4:30 Drew How did you have one before?

4:32 By myself.

4:33 Drew Okay, that's good. And you're not in medications now or anything like that?

4:37 No.

4:38 Drew And can you do what you did to yourself as part of the whole ritual with you and your boyfriend?

4:43 Mm-hmm.

4:45 Drew How about you bringing that into that?

4:46 Adam Will it work?

4:48 I've tried it before. I know I haven't been able to.

4:50 Adam Yeah. I see here's all.

4:52 Drew That's not a man's thing.

4:53 Adam I know, but it's a woman's thing is, is a woman can diddle herself, have an orgasm on her own. Then when the guy's there can diddle herself while the guy's doing his thing and it helps, but it's not going to finish her off. What the hell is that? You know what I mean? It's like, what if there was some way like, all right, will you masturbate? You know, when you can have an orgasm when you're on your own. And now, now somehow magically, maybe you have two penises, you can masturbate and receive oral sex as a male, not going to orgasm. You know what I'm saying? Like, no, what, no, you do it twice as fast.

5:33 Caller Maybe, maybe less. You know what I'm saying?

5:36 Drew Yes, it's, it's right. It's unthinkable. Or you could, you could pick your poison.

5:43 Adam Yeah.

5:43 Drew No matter what, it's going to happen.

5:46 Adam I've had it up to here with the heat and you women. Kathy?

5:50 Yes.

5:50 Adam Okay.

5:51 Drew So how about, does he try to oral sex with you?

5:54 Yes.

5:55 Drew And does he know what he's doing with that?

5:57 I think so.

5:59 Drew Well.

6:00 Adam He feels good? You're 20.

6:03 Drew He's got to spend, how long has he sort of diligently applied himself?

6:10 Trying to make me have one?

6:11 Drew With oral sex.

6:13 I'd say like six months maybe.

6:16 Drew No, no, no. When he's each episode, what's the longest period of time he's at?

6:20 Um, probably like 10 minutes, five minutes.

6:23 Drew Triple, quadruple down on that. And maybe that will bring it around. He needs to really, really, I mean, you don't, you know what I mean? It's like the first time you do anything, it's not, you're not as efficient at it as maybe down in line with it. It takes a little longer.

6:37 Adam You can't bum rush the vulva, as my grandfather used to say. How, what was the temperature in Wisconsin today, Kathy?

6:47 Caller About 45 degrees.

6:50 Adam Let me tell you something. If I could have just stood in Wisconsin, I would have paid $1,500 an hour just to, just to stay in there. I wouldn't have taken a whole hour. I stood there for like 20 minutes. And you know, I paid like, paid like 450 bucks. Yeah. It just, it was so oppressively, brutally, can't escape it kind of hot today. It was like, it was like when you stepped outside of your car or your house or wherever, wherever you were, it was like being punished. It was like, it was like God was like, just, just punishing you. It was brutal in the city, normally in the, in the city, it's a good 10, maybe 12 degrees cooler than it is over in the back.

7:31 Drew Downtown Los Angeles.

7:31 Adam 102 downtown and just, you know, general in Hollywood on the, on this side of the hill, as they say, into the hundreds in Hollywood.

7:40 Drew How was it up at the new house there? Was it a little cooler?

7:41 Adam It was brutal.

7:42 Drew Brutal up there too.

7:43 Adam The Hollywood was hotter. I mean, here's the whole thing. In the doggiest days of summer, Hollywood gets to 98.

7:50 Drew Yeah, the worst.

7:51 Adam Hollywood Downtown Airport 102. What is that? All right, let's go. Let's have it snow or something. I'm already pre-miserable for the summer, Drew.

8:02 Drew Yeah, I'm gonna think it's not even pre. We're just in.

8:04 Adam You know what I'm gonna get? I should just break down and do it now. I'm gonna get one of those John Travolta suits.

8:10 Drew Space suit?

8:10 Adam Yeah, the boy in the plastic bubble.

8:12 Drew Yeah, let's do it. I'll go with you.

8:13 Adam I'm gonna start moving around like those hamsters do when they had the little Habitrail wheel.

8:18 Drew No, just carry the little air conditioning unit in your left hand, the briefcase. And then they do walk around the space suit.

8:23 Adam I'll be like a shuttle astronaut when I'm heading out to the launch pad.

8:26 Drew That's good.

8:27 Adam And it'll be good for colds and stuff too. Plus if I gotta make, just make. Who's gonna know? Amy? You're 17? What's up?

8:45 Caller And okay, in August, I had an abortion.

8:49 Caller And now I'm like having all these crazy dreams.

8:53 Drew About what?

8:54 Caller Like about my kid, but it, like, I don't think it was gonna be just one kid. Like I think I was gonna have four kids and then one of them was gonna die, like right after they were born. And so I was only gonna have three and then just like craziness and like, I can see them. And like, I don't know.

9:11 Drew Well, there's a couple things here. I was reading some article in a reputable medical journal was talking about abortions and they went to great lengths to talk about how there's no such thing as a, you know, post-abortion syndrome in women. How dare we suggest such a thing? And unfortunately, this thing has been so politicized that we're not allowed to discuss about what actually happens to women. I've never, I rarely, I shouldn't say never, but I rarely meet a woman that doesn't have some sort of very intense reaction to the abortion. It seems far, far greater than any psychological or guilt or grief. It's almost like something's gonna rip out of you and you'll feel a sense of loss and then a grief reaction that follows on the heels of that.

9:51 Adam Well, it's an interesting question you pose because all we ever do as a society is argue about when does life begin and is it an act against God and should women have the right to and you can't control her womb. It's all that, but we never, as per usual, never look at the psychological ramifications of the whole thing.

10:12 Drew What happens to the woman? Just realistically, what happens?

10:15 Adam Listen, first off, woman could have a nervous breakdown watching an episode of The Bachelorette.

10:21 Caller But you know what I'm saying? They're not wired right. Imagine.

10:25 Drew Let's stay on more positive notes.

10:26 Caller Here's what I'm saying.

10:28 Adam They get PMS and they fall apart.

10:31 Drew Every time I do a patient's history, listen to this, I'll go, well, how many times have you been pregnant? Well, four times. Hold on.

10:35 Adam Would you listen to me? Do you know what I'm saying? It doesn't take much for a woman to come undone a little thing.

10:40 Drew This is huge. This is a big deal.

10:42 Adam Yes.

10:42 Drew Every history I take a woman, I'll go, well, how many times have you been pregnant? Well, four times. How many deliveries? I'll go, well, what happened to the other three? They will not look me in the eye. They nearly tear up. They have this huge reaction. They go, that's determinate. They can't even, it's like, it's okay. I understand you took it. It's not like I'm going to judge or anything. It's just like, hey, you chose to do this. You judge a little. The point is that it's not because of me, they're having a huge reaction to just thinking about what they've done. And think about it, let's flip around the other way. Think of the drive that women have to have children. I mean, if a man had to risk his life to have a child or go through what a good pregnancy even is, there would be no further human species. No man would go through that. There's no drive for that.

11:27 Adam Couple of gay guys, maybe.

11:28 Drew No, but there's no, you know what I mean? There's no drive.

11:30 Adam The gay guys would do it just to piss their dads off.

11:33 Drew But yeah, I know what you're saying. There's no drive. So women have a very powerful drive to do it. And then when that drive is sort of thwarted, it makes sense that there'd be a reaction, right?

11:41 Adam Absolutely.

11:42 Drew Yeah. All right, Amy, so what's going on? You're having one of those reactions.

11:45 Caller Is it gonna go away?

11:47 Drew It is gonna go away. But if you're really troubled by it, you can get a depression and the depression can be biologically based, not psychologically based. It's a very intense sort of biological chain.

11:55 Adam Or maybe both.

11:56 Caller Or both.

11:58 Drew When's it gonna go away?

11:59 Caller That was a Anderson.

12:00 Adam What was that? All right. Amy, look.

12:04 Drew Yeah.

12:04 Yeah.

12:06 Caller I have been cutting myself for like three years.

12:09 Adam Hold on a second. I was about to say also, when you take a look at the group of young teenage girls who gets pregnant, they're already sort of precarious. Even, yeah, as an abortion or not. But yeah, they're already sort of precariously balanced emotionally.

12:26 Drew They may be a subselected group.

12:29 Adam I like to just think this a little, they got a little extra energy. They got a few extra pairs of slacks in their steamer trunk already. Do you know what I'm saying? All right. And I think Amy needs to get into that.

12:42 Drew So Amy, now that is absolutely, you need to see somebody, okay?

12:48 Caller Well, I've been seeing like, I've been in therapy for like the last couple of years and like nobody's been doing anything to help me. They're just like ignoring me and letting me do it.

12:57 Drew Well, then you go in there and you do some work. You go in there and tell them how you're feeling. You talk about this abortion. You lay a piece of yourself down with this in the relationship with the therapist.

13:06 Adam Amber.

13:08 Oh, yeah, that's me.

13:09 Caller You're 24.

13:11 Adam What's up?

13:12 Hi, Adam. Hi, Dr. Drew. I had a question for Dr. Drew. Okay, it's kind of an embarrassing problem. I have this body odor problem and I've been noticing it like just as of maybe a few years ago.

13:28 Adam You notice your own, your own funk. Hold on a second. I gotta go on a quick jag here, Drew. Just very quick. I notice when I stink. I can tell.

13:39 Drew You never stink, though.

13:40 Adam I rarely stink, but I do notice when I do stink. And there are plenty people out there that got some serious funk going and it's offensive funk.

13:49 Drew Most of them don't know it.

13:51 Adam Don't not crap on my point.

13:52 Drew But strangely enough, you know what I mean? The ones that really need to know it are the ones that don't seem to.

13:56 Adam I know, but they don't know it because they're sort of conveniently out of it or they're just noses where someone dumped acetic acid into their nostrils and then took a blowtorch to it when they're in junior high. I mean, how do they not know how badly they stink? And furthermore, hey, if secondhand smoke can be caused to tell someone to move down the street, when do we start addressing this?

14:21 Drew But then I've seen how you relate to your farts. You enjoy the smell, this putrefying, disgusting sense that come out of you. So other people might just, maybe they don't even enjoy them, they just don't notice them, their own stuff.

14:38 Adam I'm just saying, you get into a cab with one of those guys and it's like, holy ass. Hey Amber? All right, now Smelly Chick is, that's wild. See, to me the smell is, it's 90% who it's coming from. You see that, like if I got into a cab with the crazy Middle Eastern guy and it didn't smell to high hell, I would be surprised and put off. Probably nervous, like hey, I gotta get outta this. I'm getting spooked here.

15:08 Drew Something's wrong.

15:08 Adam Something's wrong, what's up? Yeah, but when a chick really stinks, it's weird.

15:13 Drew This is an armpit type thing?

15:15 No, I don't know where. Like it's mostly, I'm not sure because it's not just it from there, my underarms. It's like I can take three showers a day and it's so.

15:31 Adam Well, where's it coming from, just everywhere?

15:33 I'm not, you know, maybe my pores, I'm thinking.

15:40 Drew But it's not like a vaginal smell.

15:42 No.

15:43 Drew And it's not, you don't have any sort of medical problem, you know, a colostomy thing or something.

15:47 No, well I was wondering if it could be a medical problem because I used to drink a lot and I used to do drugs.

15:54 Drew What drugs?

15:54 And I'm thinking I used to drink like hard alcohol.

15:58 Drew What drugs did you do?

16:00 I used to do speed.

16:01 Drew How long ago did you last do speed?

16:03 I did it for about five years.

16:05 Drew How long ago did you last do it?

16:06 Adam Oh, wait a second, my God, does she have trouble tracking questions?

16:09 Drew I don't know if she's still doing speed.

16:11 Adam Oh really?

16:12 Yeah, yeah.

16:12 Drew And it's been.

16:13 Adam She's not hit one question yet.

16:16 Drew And the deal was speed.

16:16 Adam Where's the smell coming from, my poor.

16:19 Drew Speed gets, they have strange preoccupations, speed.

16:22 Adam When's the last, when'd you stop doing the drugs? I did hard alcohol.

16:25 Drew This is sort of a version of Picker syndrome. They start picking at their skin.

16:28 Adam Amber.

16:28 Drew Things are in their skin.

16:29 Adam Please tell me you're high.

16:32 Right now?

16:33 Adam Yes.

16:34 No.

16:34 Adam Because you do not track well at all.

16:38 What do you mean?

16:39 Adam See what I mean? Every question we've asked you, you don't answer it. You're sort of in the neighborhood, but you don't answer the question.

16:47 Drew How long ago did you last do Speed?

16:51 Six months ago.

16:52 Drew You haven't done any Speed in six months?

16:54 Yeah.

16:55 Drew Anything else you're taking?

16:57 No. No, not right now.

17:00 Drew Not right this second, but have you been taking other stuff recently?

17:06 No. Okay.

17:07 Drew How are you staying sober?

17:09 Because I noticed the problem is more so when I do it, so I'm trying to not.

17:17 Drew Yeah. I think this is a delusional thing. You can get very, very strange delusions when you're on speed. Yeah. You can start thinking there's bugs under your skin, glass on your skin. You'll pick your... Adam with his eye almost at picking at stuff. And you can start... What?

17:31 You think it's in my head?

17:33 Drew I suspect. I suspect.

17:35 Adam Does anyone...

17:36 Like a kidney problem because...

17:38 Drew No. Well, there is something called Fetor that you can get from chronic kidney failure, but it's kind of a fruity smell. You can also get it from diabetes out of control.

17:45 Adam That sounds lovely. Does anyone else complain about your smell?

17:48 Not the people close to me. No.

17:54 Drew I keep hearing a smoke alarm.

17:55 Adam I'm hearing a smoke detector too.

17:56 Drew It's way out in the distance.

17:57 Adam Amber, move toward the smoke detector.

18:02 Drew Seriously. It'll make your smells get better.

18:06 Adam Are you moving toward it? Move toward your smoke detector.

18:15 Drew This isn't funny.

18:16 And if it goes off?

18:19 Adam Just move toward it.

18:19 Drew We're just testing our sensory skills.

18:22 Adam Yes.

18:23 Drew The challenge to ourselves.

18:26 Adam Are you standing under it? Should not move it. All right, just shut up. Why do we even talk to people, Drew? And why do we talk to people?

18:39 Drew So other people can learn.

18:40 Adam Leave us alone, everybody.

18:41 Drew So other people can learn.

18:42 Adam I got plenty of stuff to talk about. I don't need you.

18:45 Drew That's why they need to call.

18:46 Adam Just listen, Amber.

18:49 Drew Amber needs some season treatment. She's got some real serious problems.

18:52 Adam Amber needs some therapy. And here's the other thing.

18:55 Drew She may have some biological injuries from the speed. You can get permanent injuries from speed.

18:59 Adam Amber, I don't know why this is reminding me of this, but Amber needs to know that there's a lot of learning to do.

19:09 Drew 24.

19:10 Adam Yeah. Well, what I mean is, here's what I want to say. People just sort of have this sort of take, which is, look, I am who I am, and people are who they are, and everyone is just who they were, and who they are, and who they're ever going to be.

19:29 Drew That's total BS.

19:31 Adam I know, but it seems like every idiot who calls a show just sort of feels that way. Like, hey, here's what I, here's how I am. That's just how I am. And most people are that way.

19:40 Drew It's sort of, someday I hope we have a more enlightened view of ourselves.

19:43 Adam Yes, here's the thing about Amber. Amber certainly has potential, but has quite a few deficiencies as well. With some therapy, with some, I don't know, exercise, with a little spirituality, with whatever. Whatever it's gonna take for her could probably turn herself into quite a productive and interesting and articulate person. That ain't her now, and she doesn't seem like that's what she's interested in. Do you know what I'm saying? It'd be good, because everyone can be that. Here's what I think it is. I think people sort of vastly oversimplify everything. I think they just look at Dr. Drew, or they look at the principal of their high school, or they look at anybody, a rock star, or someone on television, I was going to say engineer Chris, but no, and they just go, well, that's just who they are.

20:38 Drew Right.

20:39 Adam They don't realize that-

20:40 Drew They were dropped on earth, that's the ER.

20:42 Adam Yeah, and they realize, well, Dr. Drew wasn't always a doctor. Sure, he was in junior high at some point, whatever, but that's just always who he was or who he was going to be. They don't realize that all this stuff is just a journey, and then there's plenty of opportunities along the way to just go south, go in another direction.

21:00 Drew You and I both.

21:01 Adam Not you, but me, yes.

21:02 Drew Well, we've talked about how screwed up idiots we were when we were young males.

21:06 Adam Yeah, yeah, you were a mess, but you were always on a, you had a trajectory.

21:11 Drew Yeah, but that trajectory, I was constantly ready to jump off it. Not on the radio, Dr. Drew. Yeah, I had no interest in that. That was something that never ever crossed my mind. And B, I was constantly thinking about jumping off and doing I don't know what. Yeah.

21:25 Adam Thinking, thinking. Just like you're thinking about getting your way of us back from your old lady.

21:30 Drew No, I don't think about that. I don't think about that.

21:33 Adam All right, everybody, let's get better. Let me tell you another thing I don't like about the heat. Tell you about the heat. I'm going nuts over here because 102 goddamn degrees today in Los Angeles. Everything comes alive. The bugs, they're going nutty. Like everything goes night. Like I'm in my house today. I'm sitting at my computer and a termite just goes flying right across my face and stick right at the computer screen.

21:56 Drew A termite?

21:57 Adam Yeah, a termite.

21:58 Drew Where does that?

21:58 Adam Well, it's termite season and they're like swarming and stuff. They're flying around and they're all over the place. Termite goes buzzing by. Then I'm standing in the kitchen. I've got these wacky bugs up my house that kind of look like centipedes or something. They're crazy. And it just goes flying across the floor.

22:15 Drew Silverfish.

22:15 Adam Drew, you keep saying that. I know what a silverfish looks like.

22:18 Drew I'm asking.

22:20 Adam And we got in this before. I'm telling you, you've not seen this bug. You've never seen this bug.

22:25 Drew Really?

22:25 Adam It's crazy. I'll bring one in.

22:26 Drew Yeah.

22:26 Adam Here's never seen one anywhere else other than this house. Thing goes scurrying across the kitchen floor. Luckily, I hit it with a potholder, stunned it, then tossed it in the toilet, then urinated on it, and then flushed it. But the point is, it made a break. It was making a break for something. And then later on, there's a big old spider, like right as I was walking out, I had to cup it and throw it out the thing. But it's all of a sudden nature just pow! Stuff starts making noise, stuff's buzzing around. What is it with all these goddamn insects? Where are they when it's, you know, 75?

22:58 Drew Slowed down.

23:00 Adam I mean, were they buried? What do they do? It gets hot and they're like, they're like, they're out.

23:05 Drew Yeah.

23:06 Adam It's crazy.

23:06 Drew Look at the freeway, it happens to people too.

23:08 Adam Yeah, I know, I know. It's a disaster. All right, let's take a break, Drew. We'll, oh, play a little Germany or Florida after this.

23:51 Caller Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Roy, and I'm with you over there. Fun number, 1-800-L-G-1-9.

23:59 Adam Want to do a guest night? Tell you what a guest is, guest, guest. The Love Between The Two Hosts. Kerry Mandrum, Survivor, coming in there tomorrow night.

24:10 Drew Your favorite TV show.

24:11 Adam That lady, I love that television show. Tell you what, she'll be in here tomorrow night. Just got to survive there. Dr. Drew in the Hizzy, going to be Bam Jaris coming on here, coming up on MTV's Viva Bam, coming up on Thursday. Fun number, 1-800-L-V-1-9-1. Travel weather coming up top of the air. I'll tell you, it was hot, hot, hot today, Drew. Ready to hop back on the phones?

24:41 Drew Germany or Florida?

24:42 Caller Time to play a little Germany or Florida. Laura?

24:47 Adam 20. Time to play.

24:49 Caller Tell you about a student who better could day-law wouldn't allow.

24:55 All right, I have a Germany or Florida for you guys.

25:03 All right, police stopped a 17-ton bulldozer weaving through the streets at three in the morning by jumping onto the vehicle, smashing the window, and spraying mace into the driver's face.

25:13 Adam That's got to be Germany.

25:14 Caller That's Germany.

25:15 Drew It's very Floridian, but I think it's Germany.

25:18 Caller Do you want me to finish it or do you want...

25:20 Okay, the police spokesman said the 28-year-old man was detained for drunk driving and may be charged with theft for taking the bulldozer on a two-and-a-half mile joyride Sunday after leaving a bar. One of the officers climbed into the moving vehicle, but the driver held the door shut only after the officer smashed the window and sprayed mace into his face did the driver stop.

25:40 So Germany or Florida?

25:41 Adam Well now it sounds like Florida except for if it was in the United States the cops all they could do was sort of stand their cars and drive very slowly behind it until they until the bulldozer eventually ran over an orphanage for retarded kids. So I'm going to Germany.

25:57 Yep, it is Germany.

25:59 Adam I knew it was Germany because the cops did something. Yeah, here's here's the thing. We have, thank you Laura, here our cops can't do anything. We just, look, you want to get in a bulldozer, get in a van, get in a truck and just go on a joyride. They can't do anything. They just have to drive behind you. And a hundred squad cars have to stay a hundred feet behind you. And you can you can do your serpentine all the way through the the valley, the city, wherever you want. You can cover thousands of miles.

26:27 Drew Get a bulldozer if you want.

26:29 Adam Whatever you want. It doesn't matter. Nothing I can do. Somehow, somehow we've decided that... I don't know. This it's the it you know it's it's the it's the fakest part of all TV cop shows that's sort of no time for backup. I'm going in.

26:48 Drew Yeah.

26:48 Adam You see these stores on like Columbine and stuff like, yeah the cops are out there for an hour. They're not going in. Now there's a whole SWAT team. They're still not going in. There may be a bomb in there. Meanwhile the guys are just sort of, you know, killing everyone in library execution style and they're out on the lawn like, hey we're not going in. It's not, it's a combination of, yeah, who the hell wants to run into a place while people are shooting, number one. I mean some is just sort of self-preservation instinct but the other is just all the attorneys and all this stuff. No one does anything more. It's just call for a bunch of backups, send a bunch of dogs in, and if a guy takes off at something we'll just follow him.

27:26 Drew You guys got to remember, good guys, bad guys, bad guys, good guys. That's the basic philosophy we're in the culture right now.

27:33 Adam What do you mean?

27:33 Drew If you're a bad guy you have all the rights.

27:35 Adam Right.

27:36 Drew You're a good guy. Everybody else is the man, it's the bad guy.

27:38 Adam Yes. That's why we're going to Canada, Drew. Tammy?

27:42 Yeah?

27:42 Adam You're 25?

27:44 Yes.

27:44 Adam What's up?

27:46 Well, I've got a boyfriend and he lies to me about just really basic things you shouldn't lie about. Like for instance, his age and I knew that when we had first met, he wasn't, you know, as young as he said he was and I'm like, okay, something's really fishy. I just didn't feel it and three months later I find out that he's actually older than he said he was and I knew I should have walked away at that point but...

28:15 Adam Well, how old did he say he was?

28:19 Drew And how old is he?

28:21 He's 30 and we've been together two years after that so he was actually 27 going on 28 when he told me he was 25.

28:31 Drew So he's only two years younger than he said he was?

28:33 Yes.

28:34 Drew I mean two years younger than he actually was. He said he was two years younger than he actually was.

28:38 Yeah.

28:39 Drew What else is he lying about?

28:40 Adam And right now he's 30? Yeah.

28:41 Drew Yes.

28:41 What else is he lying about?

28:43 Drew She's looking for stuff right now.

28:45 Adam I know. Well, I don't know why he would bother lying about two years, especially when you're both of the age of consent.

28:51 Drew Right. But people that like to lie just lie about everything.

28:54 Adam They do.

28:56 I have a huge problem trusting him. That's been a big crux in our relationship.

29:00 Drew Has he done stuff?

29:01 Adam What else has he done?

29:02 Well, other things that he's done. Well, of course, I guess if you're a bachelor, you like to, your favorite pastime could be porn. And he knows how strong I feel about that. Like I'm really...

29:17 Adam All right. And her name is Tammy. So we got trouble here. Tammy, second only to Cammie in the screwed up chick department thing. What happened? I don't care. I'm not interested in him. What did your dad do to you?

29:29 Nothing.

29:30 Adam Something. Come on.

29:31 Well, my dad wasn't really around when I was growing up, so I was raised by my maternal grandparents. Whoa.

29:37 Drew Where was your mom?

29:38 Well, she was not really very... She was working. Well, my parents were both in the military. I grew up very detached from them, so I stayed with my grandparents a lot.

29:51 Drew Wow. That's terrible.

29:52 And...

29:55 Oh, go ahead.

29:56 Drew Of the four of them, who were the alcoholics?

29:58 None.

29:59 My family is pretty clean.

30:02 Drew It doesn't fit, because this kind of lying is usually reserved for addicts.

30:07 Adam I don't know. You know, there could be just the...

30:11 Drew The abandonment.

30:12 Adam The abandonment and the difficulty with intimacy. And then maybe dad cheated on mom. Dad cheated on mom?

30:20 I don't know. Like, they're really private about that. Like, I think they did to each other. Like, right now, they're legally married, but they've been separated for a very long time, but they've never gotten a divorce. So I know that there were other people, I'm suspecting that there were, but I don't really... Like, I'm beyond that now. I mean, I've grown up, and I'm like, all right, look, my childhood was how it was. I didn't really have either, but...

30:47 Drew I understand, but how it was has left a dramatic imprint on how your brain works, interpersonally.

30:54 Adam Yeah.

30:54 Drew And we need to kind of examine that a little bit.

30:56 Adam Well, what's the guy do with porn?

30:58 Well, he'll lie to me about it. He'll be like, well, I wasn't looking at it. And then sometimes when I'm on his computer, I'll be like, okay, well, I'll check his internet search history and I'll find like all of these sites that he's been visiting. And I'm like, oh my God.

31:13 Adam Well, here's the thing. He's got to lie to you about it. I mean, cause you'll get weird. He's trying to get away with something. It's like, sort of like, it's like a cop accusing somebody of lying. Like he knew how fast he was going. He knew he was doing 80, but he told me he didn't notice. He was just staying, you know, of course, you just say whatever you got to say. You're getting busted, you know?

31:35 Caller Uh-huh.

31:36 Adam I mean, that's, I don't like this guy. I don't necessarily trust him, but I also can see you're picking.

31:43 Drew Do you think he's never gonna masturbate, Tammy?

31:46 Adam Ooh, Drew.

31:47 Caller I just don't find that interesting.

31:50 Drew No, no, I just tell you, you don't, your brain doesn't work the same as his does.

31:54 Adam He doesn't need you to find it interesting, by the way. He just needs to stay the F away from you and his computer.

31:57 Drew But forget the, let's take the pornography away from the equation. Do you expect him not to masturbate?

32:04 Caller I don't, like I really don't know because I, I'm, I don't really know how to conceptualize it. I don't really know how to.

32:13 Drew Okay, well, let's straighten you out for it. He's going to do that, guaranteed, absolutely categorically.

32:18 Adam Probably doing it now.

32:19 Drew Probably right now.

32:20 Adam Right now.

32:20 Drew And if he's doing that, he will need.

32:21 Adam Oh, he's done.

32:23 Drew And when he's doing that, I can tell when a man's done. He will need to look at or think of something. That's the nature of the male's system. They need a visual representation, not of you. Because it has nothing to do with you.

32:34 Caller He's actually told me, well, then after I'm done doing all of this, whatever it is that he does, he's like, well, then I realize how lucky I am to have you in my life.

32:44 Drew No, oh God, he's just BSing you.

32:46 Caller I don't know how to.

32:49 Adam I gotta write that one down.

32:50 Drew You gotta remember that one, huh? It was such an empty experience. Makes me realize.

32:57 Adam He's talking to you. You look like a giant meatball sandwich. It's like this cartoon from there on the island.

33:03 Drew One turn to a hot dog and a hamburger. Chasing each other around.

33:06 Adam Right now, I'm so blessed to have you. He's just checking giant meatballs up in my life.

33:18 Drew How do we help women understand how men are, especially at that age? How do you do that?

33:21 Adam I don't know. I don't, now I'm starting to think, I wonder why this guy must sell something for a living. Tammy? Does this guy sell something for a living?

33:31 Caller Pardon me?

33:32 Adam Does he sell something for a living?

33:36 Caller I, he works at a corporation.

33:39 Drew He's in the sales department?

33:42 Adam What's he do?

33:43 Caller He's a customer service person for insurance. He's an insurance adjuster, I guess.

33:49 Drew Not an insurance salesman?

33:52 Caller Not an insurance salesman, no. It's like people would call him and say, okay, look, buddy, I got a problem. Something along those lines, but I don't think he does it.

34:00 Adam It seems like he's the heart of a salesman. All right, so Tammy, I don't trust him. I don't trust you. I don't know what you're gonna do with this relationship where you're constantly, you know, setting yourself up to be disappointed, and he's a liar. I don't know. How about you just find a nice guy and then you can sabotage that? Well, I mean-

34:20 Drew That's what you're doing.

34:21 Caller Yeah, you are, but maybe-

34:22 Drew We're not sure it's not right.

34:23 Adam We're not sure we like this guy either. And I don't know why he would lie about his age. And I also bet if we spoke to him, he'd give us a marginally different story.

34:32 Drew Or much different.

34:33 Adam Or much different about the age and who the hell lies about two years?

34:37 Drew Drug addicts do. Drug addicts lie about everything all the time.

34:40 Caller Well, I'd ask him about that. And he says, you know, he's recovering from a really horrible injury that almost, like a physical bodily injury that almost left him- What was it?

34:51 Drew A back injury?

34:52 Caller No, no, it was a hip. Like he used to play soccer and he was a really good soccer player. And-

34:57 Drew Does he take medication for the hip?

35:00 Caller Pardon me?

35:00 Drew Does he take medication currently for the hip?

35:02 Caller I think-

35:03 Drew What, what, wait, no, no, no, come on. Now we're finally getting to it here.

35:06 Adam It's gonna take another half an hour.

35:08 Drew What medication is he taking?

35:10 Caller I have no idea what he took for it. I mean, I didn't know him at-

35:15 Adam I don't know. There's something about Tammy that it's a combination between rubbing me the wrong way and-

35:20 Drew Well, she must be an abuse survivor. The way you're abusing her.

35:22 Adam There's something up with her. Well, I feel bad for her because we're parents and we've been raised, being raised by grandparents is weird. Old people are scary when you're young. They smell weird. They got their own weird ways. They eat a lot of, you know, a lot of stale food. What is it about old people? Old people, would they become pigeons at a certain point or catfish or something? Could just eat stuff that you can't eat. You wouldn't normally eat. You go to your parents' house, you see the crap they pull out of the freezer.

35:50 Caller It's like, hey, hello, everybody.

35:52 Adam There's a market down the street. They got stuff that was put in there earlier in the week. You can go get that, not the, you know, reconstituted crap you had in there since the 60s. Freezer burn on everything. Crackers, like, just, here's the thing, too. When you're old, takes you six months to polish off a thing of Triscuits. And so they just sit there. So they just like, they open them. They eat one in March. And then they give, somewhere in December, there are like three more crackers from the bottom. But they're not going anywhere. What is it with old people? What's their stomachs? Are they not no food?

36:25 Drew Your mom was weird about food since she was 20 though, right?

36:28 Adam My mom? Yeah. Well, listen, now you couldn't eat at my house. That was a total bust. Yeah. My nup job mom and her crazy, looks, no, I couldn't eat at my house. I have to go to my grandparents' house. But even that was weird. What is it about, old people are weird to be, that it's weird when they raise young people.

36:48 Drew Yeah, yeah, stuff.

36:50 Adam All right, listen, get some therapy. Thumbs up.

36:52 Drew Thumbs up, that's for sure.

36:54 Adam Go ahead and dump the guy.

36:55 Drew Find out what medication he's taking right now for that hip, I wouldn't be surprised if I had a little Vicodin in there.

36:59 Adam I'm sure it was a championship soccer player. Mira?

37:03 Yeah.

37:04 Adam You're 20?

37:05 Caller Yep.

37:06 Adam What's up?

37:06 Caller First of all, I wish I could have changed places with you for like 20 minutes today cause it was snowing in Detroit.

37:12 Drew Oh my gosh. We wish we could have changed with you.

37:16 Adam Yeah.

37:16 Caller Like we could switch for a little while.

37:19 Caller I think we had to change programs.

37:20 Drew We must organize something like that.

37:22 Adam I know. I mean, here's the thing. As much as the cold sucks and everything, at least you could put a sweater on. This was just oppressive. Like you just couldn't get out of it. Yeah, I'm sorry. Anyways, snowing in Detroit. All right.

37:39 Caller Yeah.

37:39 Adam What's up?

37:41 Caller So anyway, I had sex the other night and like for the first 15 minutes, we didn't use a condom.

37:47 Drew Uh-oh.

37:50 Caller And I've been off birth control for like a month. And so like, I just like, I ran out of the prescription and everything, but I have a packet laying around the house that like has like, cause I messed up one of the cycles, you know, like I missed too many pills or whatever. So I had to start a new pack and I was wondering, can I use those?

38:08 Drew Mary, you need to get the patch or something longer acting. So you don't seem to be a good pill candidate here.

38:13 Caller Well, I went to depot for a while, but the problem was is that like, I happened to be traveling a lot at that time. So I wasn't, I didn't happen to be by my doctor for that four day window.

38:25 Drew Four day window, when you can get the shot again?

38:27 Caller Yeah, yeah.

38:28 Caller And the thing is I really would rather not go through the whole like month long period all over again.

38:33 Drew Leading all the time, yeah.

38:33 Adam What got you to use the condom after 15 minutes?

38:38 Drew How'd you make that transition?

38:42 Caller Yeah, basically it was a location change.

38:47 Adam Oh, location change.

38:49 Caller Yeah.

38:50 Adam You guys switched burners on the stove or what'd you do? You moved from where to where?

38:56 Caller We moved from the bedroom to the shower and then back to the bedroom. It was in a dorm room, so it's all pretty much one room, but we moved back into the bedroom from the shower and got a condom out. No, there was no roommate.

39:09 Adam Do you have a roommate?

39:12 Caller It was his room and no, he didn't have a roommate anymore.

39:14 Adam No, they moved out because every time the guy would open the front door, just an avalanche of semen would come pouring out and just wash him down the dorm hall. Yes?

39:25 Drew Red room. So Myra, what's the question?

39:30 Caller Basically, I was wondering, can I use like those pills, like can I use the regular birth control pills as the morning after pill?

39:37 Drew What pill? Which brand? I would have to look at, that's a lot of progesterone. Do you have the pill there with you?

39:46 Caller I think I can find the info.

39:49 Drew Yeah, just tell me what the actual chemical name of the ingredient is.

39:53 Caller Yeah, I'd have to look for it.

39:55 Adam Well, look for it.

39:56 Drew Oh, smoke detector.

39:58 Caller No, that was my door.

40:00 Adam Yeah, hold on. She's gonna look for the pill. Hey, let me tell you something. I don't know what I was watching. I was watching an old rerun of Saturday Night Live. Wasn't that old? It was like 10 years old. And it's always kind of weird because when you watch Saturday Night Live and you watch the news, it'll let you know the eight or 10 major stories that were going on in whatever that date was in 1993 or 1979. Although when you get back in the 70s, it's always trouble in the Middle East. Shocking. It's great seeing Bill Murray in there in a cast that's almost entirely dead now going, trouble in Israel. What do you know? What is that? 29 years ago? Shocking. Okay, so they were talking about the RU-486.

40:49 Drew Oh really? And they were calling it the Morning After Pill.

40:52 Adam The Morning After Pill.

40:53 Drew Emergency Contraception.

40:54 Adam Emergency Contraception.

40:55 Drew Yeah, which is how.

40:56 Adam I think it was the Morning After Pill or both. I can't remember which phrase they used.

41:00 Drew That's how it gets all screwed up.

41:01 Adam Well, that's what I thought. This is what you've been fighting against all these years. All right. Mira?

41:09 Caller Yeah.

41:10 Adam Did you find the pill?

41:11 Caller Yeah, I got it. It's called desugestral ethanol estradiol.

41:20 Drew Well, let me, I'll get right back to the phone here. We'll look up the dose of that and we'll see if it's enough because you may be able to use that.

41:26 Adam All right. Did she, should she tell you the dose or you're going to tell her?

41:29 Drew No, I'm looking up, yeah.

41:30 Adam All right. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to speak to Theo who sung the old Germany or Florida theme. Theo?

41:38 Caller Hey, how you doing?

41:40 Adam You got a new Germany or Florida theme?

41:42 Caller I got a new Diddy for you.

41:44 Adam Well, we'll sing the old one just to make sure it's you. All right.

41:47 Caller Things are sick and twisted from too much fun and Nazis.

41:51 Adam All right. I believe you. Too much fun and Nazis. I do like that song. It's deceptively good and it sums it up, Drew. Really? Not since the Green Acres theme has a song painted such a vivid picture.

42:10 Caller We're going to take ourselves a little break.

42:13 Adam We'll come back with Theo, Dr. Drew and Jeb after this. It's Love Line. I'm Adam Edds, Dr. True, phone number 1-800-W-E-M-N-A-M-N. Alright, now when we left off, we were going to speak theater. Now, Mira called up, wanted to know about taking the birth control. Drew's been on the internet.

42:53 Drew It's looking good, but I want to confirm it before I give her the definite go-ahead.

42:56 Adam So, Mira's gonna stand hold. We'll talk to Theo, who is the author and artist behind the fabulous-

43:04 Drew Composer, please.

43:05 Adam Germany, sorry.

43:06 Drew Author.

43:07 Adam I don't know.

43:07 Drew How dare you?

43:08 Adam Well, you wrote the words down. Germany or Florida theme. Sing it live for us. I really do enjoy the original theme.

43:15 Caller I will do that. Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis. Sex, meth, and death fetishes. Both of them have got these. Guaranteed not to bore ya. Germany or Florida.

43:26 Adam Solid.

43:26 Drew He sings that with a smile.

43:28 Adam Yeah.

43:28 Drew Definitely smiling when he sings that.

43:30 Adam Now you say you have a new theme.

43:32 Caller Well, see, I didn't hear my old theme for like the last two nights. And I was like, oh, they must've really gotten tired of it at this point, so I have to come up with another one.

43:38 Drew Sorry, Theo, sorry.

43:40 Adam La-dee-dah, temperamental artist. All right, well, let's hear the new one. We'll see.

43:47 Caller I'm hoping it does get us last.

43:48 Drew Now we know we can bait Theo for new material. Whatever, we just withhold his songs for a couple of days. He'll show up with some new stuff.

43:54 Caller You know, y'all can take my number whenever you're having a lull night or whatever. Just give me a call. I'm awake and I'm here.

44:00 Drew Where in Virginia are you calling from?

44:01 Caller I'm in Richmond.

44:04 Drew Richmond.

44:05 Adam All right, let's hear the new theme. You know what?

44:06 Drew His phone is so horrible, though.

44:08 Caller I don't know if I'll ever use this. Yeah, that's all I have another here.

44:11 Drew We want to review it anyway.

44:13 Caller Hold on one second. Area.

44:15 Drew Oh, Anderson. I don't want to hear the discuss talking to himself about this.

44:22 Caller All right.

44:24 Drew Yeah, that's better.

44:26 Caller It's not better at all. But OK, go ahead.

44:28 Adam It's marginally better.

44:29 Caller Go ahead.

44:30 Drew Clear.

44:31 Caller Floridians are crazy. It seems Germans are too. And it comes to FWBS. There's nothing they won't do. So ask away. It's time to play. Don't say I didn't warn you. It's Adam Corolla's favorite game. Germany or Florida.

44:43 Drew But I like the words. I didn't get the tune. I didn't hear the tune.

44:45 Adam It didn't sink in until about the one third.

44:48 Drew What is the tune? I don't really have one.

44:50 Adam I just kind of want to try one more time. And this time I want you to have fun with it.

44:56 Drew All right. But think of an actual song that you're syncing it up to.

45:00 Adam Got it.

45:01 Caller All right. Floridians are crazy. It seems Germans are too. When it comes to FBS. There's nothing they won't do. So ask away. It's time to play. Don't say I didn't warn you. It's Adam Corolla's favorite game.

45:12 Caller Germany or Florida.

45:13 Adam All right.

45:15 Drew Who are the old fractured flickers?

45:17 Adam Now, hang on there, Theo.

45:18 Drew Remember that? Sounds like you should. You should sync it up to that.

45:23 Adam The lyrics are strong in number two. Very strong. Very strong. The first one. And maybe we're just used to it.

45:29 Drew No, I would like him to work on the second one. The lyrics are great. Sync it up to a song. What? To this one? I really think that Fractured Flick is... That, that, He's not going to find that one.

45:48 Adam No one knows what you're talking about.

45:49 Drew All right. This one?

45:51 Adam Let's... Yeah, that's my theme. Patricia, how dare you? You're 19?

45:59 Caller I am 19. Hold on. My friend's in the other room and she wants to hear too. Can I go tell her?

46:04 Adam Yeah, but now...

46:05 Drew We have a five second break here. Well, hang on. After you go to commercials, then you're in.

46:10 Adam All right.

46:10 Drew Let's just go to commercials.

46:11 Adam Really?

46:12 Drew Let's go and talk to her.

46:14 Adam Lesbo girlfriend gets very wet during orgasm. Jennifer?

46:19 Yes.

46:20 Adam You're 27?

46:21 Caller Yes, I am.

46:22 Adam You have a lesbian girlfriend?

46:24 Caller Yes, I do.

46:25 Adam And you're both smoking hot?

46:28 Caller Well, I guess that's a matter of opinion, but we have hot sex, so is that good enough?

46:33 Adam Mm, hold on a second. Now they're bad, now they're very unattractive. Yeah, but that's all right. Hold on. We're gonna talk to Jennifer about her lesbian relationship and then we'll get back with Patricia. She's got a 17-year-old virgin boyfriend who won't have sex with her. She's 19. That's a twist. We'll be right back after this.

46:51 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up?

47:40 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1.

47:43 Drew And for Myra, who is wondering about using MerCet as an emergency contraception, it still seems to me that it should be efficacious. I just can't figure out from the literature I was looking at what dose, and it has, excuse me, and it's not been approved for that yet, so I can't formally tell you to do it.

47:58 Adam Efficacious is effective?

47:59 Drew Yeah, effective dose. I think it might be two pills twice a day for that, but still, though, it might be effective, possibly also not as effective as even Get Your Hands On Plan B.

48:11 Adam Just spend a little time getting to know engineer Chris during the break. Usually we, Chris and I don't talk a lot because, I mean, there's clearly a chasm in class.

48:24 Drew Yeah, you at 27 were doing way more than he.

48:27 Adam I can't be slumming it, but I thought it'd be nice. People say to me, listen, you've been here for a year, haven't talked to this person, haven't talked to that person, but then once I start talking to them, it just turns, it gets painful. I start making fun of them. I was talking to my engineer, Chris, turns out he's going to junior college. Take a one class, take a math class. Now, it's gonna get good in a second, but he told me, he said, I said, well, he goes to school Monday. He takes one class Monday and Wednesday. And we said, well, what do you do the other days of the week? He said, sleep, I sleep in. I said, well, what time does your one class start? He said, 12.45. Drew, you'd kill yourself when your kid's just doing this, would you not? Yeah, you would. I get that's all I can think of is Drew. Drew goes nuts when you start talking about butchering education. I did the same. Maybe worse, but I was making fun of Chris for a while. You know, just living at home. He's chasing a dream.

49:27 Drew He's struggling a little bit.

49:29 Adam He's working at a radio station.

49:30 Caller He's working at a radio station.

49:31 Adam Yeah, I wanna be a DJ. He's taking one math class at the junior college twice a week.

49:36 Drew He's at one of the most important radio stations in the country. Unless they had a tough radio market.

49:40 Adam You're working over at KR, too? Are you talking about this one?

49:45 Drew New York.

49:45 Adam Ah, no, K-Rock. It's a legendary station. But here's my point. I was busting Chris' chops and then realized he's 27. He was doing arguably better than I was when I was 27.

50:02 Drew He's doing arguably better. He's way better.

50:04 Adam No, not way better.

50:05 Drew He's got a job at a radio station.

50:08 Adam Yes, that's true.

50:09 Drew You would have killed for that. You would have killed for that.

50:12 Adam Yes, yes, true. But he is living at home.

50:16 Caller Corolla was building cabinets for radio stations, though.

50:19 Adam Not at 27.

50:19 Drew Not at 27, that's 38.

50:23 Adam I've never heard Anderson laugh so hard. No, how dare you? It's not 38, that was 30. The point is, is Chris has a little savings account, got a few grand in the bank, drives a decent car. I didn't have a savings account. I didn't have a decent car. Do you have any kind of insurance?

50:40 Caller What do you mean, like car insurance?

50:42 Adam You have car insurance?

50:44 Drew Can't drive with that, it's illegal. It's illegal in California.

50:47 Adam Look, put it this way. From 16 to 31, maybe 30 and a half. Let's just say 15 plus years. I had car insurance two years out of the 16. All right, how about health insurance? My dad's. We technically have health insurance.

51:06 Drew Yeah, I do.

51:06 Adam All right, I didn't have health insurance or car insurance. Dental?

51:10 Caller Yeah, well that's through the health insurance.

51:11 Adam All right, maybe doing better.

51:15 Drew Maybe. But I don't, I still live at home. Still live at home.

51:19 Adam Is your car of electric windows or have a crank windows?

51:22 Drew No, yeah, I got to roll them up.

51:23 Adam You got to roll them.

51:25 Drew You actually have a crank there though.

51:28 Adam Yeah, that's what we call a push. Yeah, we don't have the vice grips on there. Okay, all right.

51:32 Caller All right, let's get some calls.

51:35 Adam Now, if you're still here in three years, you better make a move because then I started doing stuff later. You see what I'm saying? It's going to get ugly. Okay, I'm trying to motivate the boy. Patricia? You're 19? What's happening?

51:52 Caller Okay, first of all, my boyfriend is not a virgin. He had one partner before me and we have been together for a year and we have been having sex for a year.

52:01 Drew Have been or have not been?

52:02 Caller We have been having sex for a year.

52:06 Adam Hold on, that's more boring. I want to talk to the lesbian then. Jennifer, it said 17 year old virgin boyfriend won't have sex. That's not like we've been getting it on for a year.

52:14 Drew We haven't heard the question yet, but okay. Who cares?

52:17 Adam Jennifer?

52:18 Caller Yes?

52:19 Adam Your big truckin lesbian?

52:22 Caller Hey, I'm a feminine lesbian, thank you.

52:25 Adam Really?

52:25 Drew What's the question?

52:27 Caller Well, my girlfriend has these really, really wet orgasms and I have always been really dry. And I just wondered if there was something wrong with me or if I'm not having the orgasms that she is or what.

52:39 Drew No, no, no, no.

52:40 Adam That's just her.

52:41 Drew Yeah, you're taller maybe or she's shorter with same kind of thing. Doesn't mean a thing.

52:46 Caller Doesn't mean anything.

52:48 Drew Doesn't mean anything.

52:49 Caller So am I missing out though? Because she seems to really be having like this amazing time.

52:55 Adam Well, she may be enjoying her orgasms more than you. Are you even having an orgasm?

52:59 Caller Oh, totally, totally. She's the best oral sex I've ever had, but she's having like an internal orgasm compared to mine being just like clitoris.

53:09 Adam Yours is on your elbow.

53:10 Drew Does she have multiple orgasms?

53:12 Caller I've seen her have, yeah. I've seen her have quite a few in a row.

53:16 Drew So she's wired differently than you.

53:19 Caller So I just will never be able to achieve that? Or is there a way to try to achieve that?

53:23 Drew It's just different. It's very hard to measure subjective experiences, right? It's just different.

53:28 Adam You just have your orgasm. She has her orgasm. I know what's chicken tastes like to her. Will you ever love it as much as she does? I don't know.

53:40 Caller Well, I just wondered why I don't get wet at all and she gets so wet. So I didn't know if there was-

53:45 Drew Are you on pill? Birth control of any type?

53:47 Caller No, none.

53:49 Adam Why, for a scan or something?

53:51 Drew A scan or regular periods or something.

53:53 Adam There.

53:53 Drew That can keep them driving.

53:55 Adam You guys use any toys on each other?

53:58 Caller We do. We have multiple like, you know, double vibrators and that kind of stuff when we watch a little porn.

54:03 Adam Do you guys live together?

54:05 Caller Yes, we do.

54:06 Drew How long have you been together?

54:08 Caller Um, I've known her now, um, eight years. I met her when I was 19 and she was 30. So she's a little older than me.

54:15 Drew How long has she been your girlfriend?

54:17 Caller Um, we've been on and on girlfriends for the last eight years, but I've, I'm from Texas. I've lived in California now two years with her.

54:23 Drew So. So you've been living with her for two years.

54:26 Caller But we lived together previously for, for three years. So we've known each other a while. And now, so.

54:31 Adam How's the lesbian lifestyle treating you?

54:33 Caller It's pretty hot. I haven't, I like men and women and I haven't had any sex with a man that's been anywhere close to it.

54:42 Adam Yeah. You got to give Drew a run. Oh, yeah.

54:46 Caller I thought Janice was about Drew though. Isn't that weird?

54:48 Adam You need to join the army.

54:51 Caller It's not the club boys.

54:53 Adam He's a passionate man. He's read the word. All right, Jennifer.

54:58 Caller Thank you for your help.

55:00 Adam And let me ask you, people at work know you're a lesbian?

55:06 Caller I mean, I talk about it. So, you know, people don't hassle you. Well, of course, every guy that I meet wants to be my new best friend. So, right. I want to be first in line to watch.

55:17 Adam Right. All right. Good times. Yeah. Never been a better time to be a lesbian.

55:22 Drew Than right now.

55:23 Adam Yeah. And gay, too. Especially out here. I can see being a lesbian. It's almost a novelty. It's kind of fun. It's like being half Cherokee or something. I think it's sort of like in the past, maybe if you were Indian, you'd get a blanket that had smallpox and put on some reservation somewhere. Now, it's kind of cool. It's novel. It's like, hey, you know Cher? Is that where you get your tenacity? Right. You're a very proud warrior. What's that mean? Proud warrior? Oh, it means something good. Great. I think that's the way of being a lesbian now. It's like, yeah, cool. Yeah, guys are kind of intrigued and curious by it.

56:03 Drew Yeah, they're sitting there, troubled by it.

56:04 Caller I don't know about the chicks.

56:06 Adam I don't really think they have a problem with it either because it's just less competition for them. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Women are very competitive as we talk about in terms of attracting men. If there's some hot chick at the office, turns out she's into chicks. One last chick to compete with. Yeah? What do chicks think of lesbians? They don't have a problem, do they?

56:26 Drew I don't think so.

56:28 Adam Your old lady got any problem with the lesbians? Mm-hmm. Probably with one now. All right, let's speak to Patricia again who lied about her call.

56:36 Drew Patricia?

56:40 Adam You're 19.

56:41 Caller I am.

56:42 Adam Got a 17-year-old boyfriend.

56:44 Caller Almost 18.

56:46 Drew Been together for a year?

56:48 Adam Yeah, been having sex for a year.

56:51 Drew What's the question?

56:53 Caller Well, let me give you a little background on this. He's always been a little weird about sex. When we first were having sex, it took him a while to be really comfortable with me. I mean, obviously. And then after a while, it was fine. And then, like during the summer when he didn't have school, everything was fine. And then when he started school, he said he was really stressed out. And so he wouldn't want you so much. And from the first time we were ever like even going out anything, he told me he never had liked oral sex and I'd never given it to him. And he said he'd never liked it from any girl he'd gotten it from or anything. And so one night last summer, I gave it to him and he's like, yeah, he's like, that was good. And he's like, I just don't like it though. And he will also never reciprocate. He has never done it and says, he totally refuses, says he'll never do it.

57:35 Drew What's the question?

57:36 Adam All right, hold on a second. By the way, do you have to make such proclamations?

57:41 Drew Guys?

57:43 Adam Anybody? You know, I don't like it, I'll never do it. What is that?

57:49 Drew I know. I'm actually more disturbed with Patricia's-

57:51 Adam I'm disturbed with her too. Me and this dude?

57:53 Drew Could not hang.

57:54 Adam We got nothing to talk about.

57:55 Drew Oh, and I thought that immediately. I thought, oh, no friend of Adam's.

57:58 Adam We got nothing to talk about. I would be, I'd strangle him.

58:01 Drew Be angry.

58:02 Adam Yeah. Mm-hmm.

58:04 Drew Patricia?

58:05 Caller Yes.

58:06 Adam I don't like this kid.

58:07 Drew All you gotta say is he's not into oral sex, he doesn't reciprocate it. Okay, we got it.

58:11 Caller Wait, but I need to go on. I just, this is so sad. I like made notes because I need to tell you guys everything because it's very weird. Anyway, but the sex is very good when we have it. He's very into it, he's always liked it, but he's never been aggressive. I've always been the one to initiate it. He's never, probably once in our entire relationship, like in the very beginning, did he initiate it? It's so patchy, like in times when, like there will be a month when we won't, and then, and it'll be like once a week maybe, twice a week even.

58:42 Drew And you have to initiate.

58:43 Caller This is the problem is we haven't had sex in a month and a half, and all of a sudden, he says he doesn't like it and doesn't want to do it anymore.

58:49 Adam It's done.

58:50 Drew Yeah.

58:50 Adam But I don't know, he's gay, he's-

58:53 Caller Doctor, I thought, but do you think, like, he really has never had much of a sex drive? He said he never masturbated. Do you think he, like, has a glandular problem or something?

59:00 Drew He could. He could have a pituitary prolactinoma. I mean, he needs to get, he needs to get, he definitely needs to get checked, definitely.

59:06 Caller Yeah.

59:06 Drew He's not on medication?

59:08 Caller No, not at all.

59:09 Adam Is he depressed?

59:10 Caller No.

59:10 Drew No, he should, he should-

59:12 Caller He's a pretty happy kid, he's just normal, but I just, it's just so bizarre. Every guy I talk to says he's gay, and I mean, I can't-

59:17 Adam All right, no. He's not, he's not gay.

59:19 Drew I don't think he's gay, but I think he definitely, and it could just be how he's wired, but definitely he needs, he deserves an evaluation. There's a book called Man-Made by Ken Baker that describes this exact syndrome from when he had a pituitary tumor, what it did to him, and how different it was when that was taken out.

59:33 Adam Ken Baker, the testosterone maker?

59:35 Drew That's him.

59:36 Adam I know that cat. He was on this show.

59:38 Caller Yeah.

59:40 Adam Yeah. Anyway, here's the thing, Patricia. This one's done.

59:44 Drew I think so.

59:46 Adam You guys have been together for long enough. He's made his, I'll not go down on you, proclamation address on more than one occasion. And by the way, listen, wussy, you do what she likes. It's not all about what you like or what you just personally won't do. You just get in and slug it out a little bit. Give her some pleasure. It's your woman. You know what I'm saying? And that's your pleasure. I don't like this guy. I don't trust him. Break up with him. It's fine. It's not gonna work.

1:00:18 Drew I think she's going to.

1:00:19 Adam Good.

1:00:19 Drew All right.

1:00:20 Adam Six. Let's talk to Steve. Steve? Yeah. You're 22?

1:00:26 Caller Uh-huh.

1:00:27 Adam What's up?

1:00:28 Caller Hey, right now I'm taking a class that's talking about like marijuana use and all that kind of stuff. And I'm wondering if you guys think it's a gateway drug and all that kind of stuff.

1:00:41 Drew Well, it's not, people sort of have asked the wrong questions about pot of the, well, I probably treat a thousand heroin addicts. I've only met one that didn't start with pot and tobacco. So it's not so much that you're necessarily gonna go on to heroin, but if you are gonna be a heroin addict, you started with the pot. Yeah. Now every marijuana addict I've ever met also admits that if the pot kept working, they never would have progressed anything else.

1:01:09 Adam Uh-huh, every what addict?

1:01:10 Drew Every pot marijuana addict. Every cannabis addict I deal with all say if the marijuana had just kept working, of course I would have stayed with that. I love pot, it's the greatest thing, but it stops working, you start getting depressed, and they switch on to something else.

1:01:24 Adam Every thief starts with stealing candy from a liquor store when they're kids, you know? I mean, some of it's just an opportunity thing, and some of it's just a progression thing. I mean, pot's the first drug you see.

1:01:35 Drew Yeah, but a thief isn't saying, this is it for me. The Hershey's, I stole it, that's it, it's the ultimate. And Marijuana X, we'll tell you, this is, even when they're on the heroin, they'll say, I never liked anything like pot. That was what I always loved.

1:01:48 Adam Well, I'm just talking about the gateway argument. It's like one of those chronological things. It's like nobody who's ever killed anybody in a car hasn't been driving a car, but that doesn't necessarily mean that everyone driving a car is bad or gonna kill somebody.

1:02:03 Drew You're making the same point I'm making. And in fact, most people, when they progress with pot, progress to speed and or under alcohol. So they don't usually progress to opiates, but some do.

1:02:13 Adam But I would definitely say that drugs are a gateway drug, which is when you're into drugs, if you're into drugs, a lot of people, once you go that route, hey, you're just into drugs. I mean, it's sort of like some people are into porn, other people aren't. When you're into porn, you got a nice collection and it's a variety.

1:02:32 Drew But you would start with Playboy.

1:02:34 Adam It would start with Playboy.

1:02:35 Drew You're more accessible stuff and that's pod.

1:02:38 Adam Right. Yes.

1:02:41 Caller Oh, do you think that like marijuana, like just drug use leads to drug abuse in general or do you think that's more of a personal thing?

1:02:48 Drew No, you have to have the gene.

1:02:50 Adam Yeah.

1:02:50 Drew You have to, it's usually two hits. It's usually some sort of childhood trauma. I mean, for the patients that come for inpatient treatment at my unit, they 100% have a biological family history of alcoholism or addiction and 100% have a history of childhood trauma. And that's it. Those are the two ingredients you need to get this disease. Not all addicts, interestingly, will be marijuana addicts, though. That's an interesting subset of addiction. But for those for whom they love pot, they really love pot. It is a very difficult addiction to treat.

1:03:22 Caller Yeah, I also have a question for Adam. Yeah. All right, me and my roommates, we got a game called Would You Rather? And we thought of one that would be perfect for you. It's like taking two really bad things and picking the last of the two evils.

1:03:34 Drew Adam plays this game all the time.

1:03:37 Caller So we got this one that I thought would be perfect for you. Either become vegan for life. So like no meat, milk, cheese, all the good stuff. Or never be able to masturbate again.

1:03:48 Drew Vegan. I know I can answer for Adam.

1:03:53 Adam But I don't know, I don't know.

1:03:55 Caller I mean, you know, never be able to eat like, you know, the ribs and steak and milk.

1:03:58 Adam Yeah, yeah, either way.

1:03:59 Drew But you could have sex though. You couldn't masturbate.

1:04:02 Caller Oh, it's just masturbation.

1:04:03 Adam I mean, I, I, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd cancel the masturbation. I'd kill myself if I was vegan. I think maybe vegetarian, I could work around if you got into some fish, you know, and I could wear some leather. Vegans, you can't eat eggs, you can't drink milk. Some of them go nutty. Well, you can't wear stuff that's leather. You can't kill termites. Remember when we were talking about that with John from...

1:04:32 Drew Goldfinger.

1:04:32 Adam Goldfinger, right. He was vegan and he was saying he couldn't smash bugs and stuff. Couldn't do anything. Yeah, I don't know. That's way too limiting. Yeah, I think, and plus I think I could beat, pardon the pun, the masturbation on a technicality. I could do something. I could work out something that involved, you know, compressed air or some sort of device or something where I wouldn't actually touch my penis.

1:04:57 Drew You'd become like clairvoyant where you could actually masturbate your penis with your mind.

1:05:01 Adam Yeah, or limber enough to use my heels or something. I would work it out somehow where I said, I will never touch my penis with my own hands to pleasure myself again and then I, you know, then I would beat it on a technicality. I'd work it out. Yes, Drew? All right. Dana?

1:05:21 Caller Yeah.

1:05:23 Adam You're 21?

1:05:24 Drew 21.

1:05:24 Caller Yeah.

1:05:25 Adam You got a home improvement question?

1:05:29 Caller I'm renting an apartment and we just moved in at the end of March and there's this like raunchy odor coming from my medicine cabinet.

1:05:41 Adam Yes.

1:05:42 Caller And like, I don't know what it is.

1:05:44 Caller Like I took the whole medicine cabinet out of the wall.

1:05:47 Adam I know, it's your diaphragm.

1:05:50 Caller I don't have a diaphragm.

1:05:51 Adam It says, it says you have a detachable medicine cabinet.

1:05:55 Caller Well, I took it out of the wall.

1:05:56 Adam Yeah, you just pulled it out. You took the screws out?

1:06:00 Caller Yeah, there's four screws and I took it out.

1:06:03 Adam And it's not like- Hold on a second. Listen screeners, that's not a detachable medicine cabinet. She unbolt, it's like saying, I have a detachable fender on my car. Yeah, I unbolted it and pulled it off my car. I guess technically it's detachable, but so is your nose if I took some pliers to it, right?

1:06:20 Drew Technically. Technically?

1:06:21 Adam All right. Oh, wait a minute. Let's see. Go ahead, Dana. You took your medicine cabinet out.

1:06:29 Caller Yeah, I took it out because I was thinking maybe it was the cabinet that was nasty, so I could just go buy a new one and put it in.

1:06:36 Drew But-

1:06:36 Adam Well, hold on. You got a medicine cabinet. It's just made-

1:06:39 Drew Metal.

1:06:39 Adam It's just made of sheet metal that's got white paint on it. You couldn't just wipe it down.

1:06:43 Caller Yeah, no, I sprayed it with Lysol and I cleaned it and everything and I took it off and I think it's the wall. So I was thinking maybe something with the drywall or-

1:06:55 Drew Maybe a dead animal is stuck in between the wall or something. There's something back there.

1:07:00 Caller That's what I'm thinking. But I don't know. Is there any way that the wall-

1:07:06 Adam Well, let me say this. Your medicine cabinet is going to drop into a bay between your two studs. The studs are 16 on center. They're an inch and a half studs. There's going to be 14 and a half inches in that bay, and that's what's going to drop in, and it's going to lip around the drywall which goes around. Now, it should be framed in so that when you pull the medicine cabinet out, there's a block on the top and a block on the bottom. Now, there could be a rodent or something that died in the bay underneath that cabinet, and the stink could be coming up or maybe it's even coming up from another bay, but if it was coming up, it would be coming up and coming out of that opening. If it was down at the bottom. No.

1:07:49 Caller No.

1:07:50 Adam And there's probably, it's probably a plumbing wall, and there's a bunch of plumbing underneath it, and as a matter of fact, a rodent could have crawled up through the hole that the plumbing comes up through the bottom plate and through the floor joist and all that stuff and crawled maybe died in there. That's the only thing I can think of. So I don't, is there a block underneath it?

1:08:10 Caller There's, yeah, there's a stud underneath it and on either side.

1:08:14 Caller And then that wall.

1:08:15 Adam Yeah, that's a block. Okay.

1:08:17 Caller To the other bathroom. So the shower is like right next to it.

1:08:21 Adam Well, maybe, maybe, maybe you got some mildew problem. You live in an apartment?

1:08:25 Caller Yeah.

1:08:25 Adam All right. Call the landlord or something. What do you care? Just call the landlord. Oh, by the way, this is, this means she's a bad tenant. She's in trouble because she's just taking stuff on herself. If people pay the rent on time, they'll get on the phone immediately. People that are growing a bunch of pot plants in their closet, they'll deal with it themselves. Let me just find out. Dana?

1:08:48 Caller Yeah.

1:08:49 Adam Everything cool with you and the landlord? Really?

1:08:54 Drew Why didn't you call him?

1:08:56 Caller Oh, I haven't gotten a chance to go down there yet.

1:08:59 Adam All right. But you're pulling the medicine cabinet out. You're unbolting it and pulling it out. I like that. All right, there's nothing you don't want him to see in your apartment.

1:09:10 Caller Just the cat. Aha.

1:09:12 Adam You're not supposed to have pets, right? Yes.

1:09:16 Caller Yeah.

1:09:18 Adam You see why I'm a great detective, Drew? Exactly. She's got a cat in there. It says no pets, clearly.

1:09:24 Caller There you go. All right.

1:09:26 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this.

1:09:33 Caller Hey, everybody.

1:09:35 Adam It's Adam.

1:09:36 Drew And I'm Dr. Drew.

1:09:37 Caller Here to talk about an ax.

1:09:38 Adam Deodorant body spray.

1:09:40 Drew Yes, sir.

1:09:41 Adam You spray that on, you give stink the ax. I'll tell you something, Dr. Drew, I was getting into Chris over here during the break, you know, I said, hey, man, he's 27 years old, he's delivering it all at his, at Junica College, I gotta tell you.

1:10:11 Caller And I'm saying to Chris, hey, so I'm like, yes, I'm at a library, he's like, well, I don't know, I don't know, I'm like, well, don't you gotta say it all night? And he's like, well, I don't know, I'm like, well, what time is it? He says, well, I sleep in on that night.

1:10:25 Adam 724, 24, 724.

1:10:28 Caller Coming to Loveline, I gotta tell everybody, it's about that Jerry Manthe coming in, we're gonna add Survivors, one of my favorite shows on television. Hot, hot, hot. Dr. Drew's a big fan of Jerry's coming in, maybe he's gonna be a black boy again.

1:10:43 Adam I remember last time, last time Jerry was on the show, and I said to Jerry, and I read the story, it's true, it's there, right?

1:10:50 Caller It's back in the open to say this, right? I looked across the room and I looked in the eyes and said, Jerry's, you're not getting paid to do Playboy's? And I said, well, I'm sorry. She turned around, she said, I'm sorry, Loveline.

1:11:03 Adam And I was like, well, I'm sorry, Loveline.

1:11:06 Caller And she was like, no, but it's Loveline. And then, as it turned out, I'm sorry, Loveline. I'm sorry, Loveline. All right, there, Chris, buddy boy.

1:11:15 Adam Yeah, I gotta be honest with you now, Drew. She's a hat lady, I tell you what, right now, I gotta be around, I'm gonna be coming around for that.

1:11:23 Caller All right, let's stop having to phones over there.

1:11:25 Drew Bam and Jared.

1:11:26 Caller Bam and Jared, somebody coming on.

1:11:28 Adam Come on over here, you all. You all, remember the name of Jackass, of course. Bam's best known for doing it on MTV. And then somebody, Johnny Knoxville. Coming in there tomorrow night, this is a bit of a beer, Thursday night. And then of course next week we got Andy Richter coming out of the program. Jack Osborne, tell you what, he's had had had to do it. Moore, fan of comedians, comedians, comedians. J. Moore, he's a comedians, comedians, comedians. He's five comedians, middle of the what? Some of them are Drew, you know what I'm saying? Some guys are comedians, other guys are comedians, comedians, this guy's a comedians, comedians, comedians.

1:11:57 Caller You've got to change that name to Jasper Giles, cause you're a hound dog.

1:12:05 Caller Who's the big pig woman with the jug?

1:12:07 Adam That is, I was going to crack, we were walking, but I was not coming to the show. Jay Mark, comedians, comedians, comedians.

1:12:15 Caller All right, let's go to the next episode.

1:12:17 Adam Speaking of Josh, you got 15 years age.

1:12:19 Caller You got right here, you're a dad pubic hair.

1:12:21 Adam My son's having a dad.

1:12:22 Caller Save me the dad. Josh, what's going on?

1:12:24 Adam Coming on the set of Zay.

1:12:25 Caller What on the show, buddy?

1:12:26 Adam 7-2-2-7-2-9-7 o'clock.

1:12:28 Caller What's up there, buddy boy?

1:12:30 Caller Well, I got a problem. I was wondering what the effects would be. I'm a redhead. I've got what you'd consider to be fire crotch. And I was wondering what the effects would be of dying my pubic hair.

1:12:44 Caller What color do you think I'm going to go with that? Do you think I'm going to go with the brown color, Josh?

1:12:49 Caller Darker color, brown possibly.

1:12:51 Adam That is right. Let me tell you something for a second, Drew. I don't know if you ever lived downstairs. The guy with the red hair, the caretops in or down around the nantzack there, but it is red and I don't know about that. I'm talking about Lou Zeele Ball.

1:13:04 Caller No, I'm talking about guys who got the red hair up top. They got the garbage manager.

1:13:11 Adam So 20, 20, F7.

1:13:13 Caller I'm saying that the pubes down there, but not only are red, but that can be bozo red.

1:13:24 Adam Moore convenience community, coming here next week.

1:13:26 Caller You know what I'm saying, Drew?

1:13:28 Adam What can you do?

1:13:29 Caller You got a fire down below.

1:13:30 Adam What you gonna do?

1:13:31 Caller Ha ha ha.

1:13:34 Adam Some 23, 23 reds. What about down in the pubes there?

1:13:38 Caller What's the danger?

1:13:40 Drew The problem is most guys will, people bleach them, and that can cause a lot of irritation there. It's mostly the phenomenon of skin irritation. The test is, you know, you put a gas down, you're testing.

1:13:51 Caller I'll tell you something, man. Bulls on fire.

1:13:56 Adam I was watching somebody using gasoline, went down, a little scratch, a little nutter root, a little jock itch, an XCNO. I got a fire down below, some 22, some 27. Let me say something I remember fast here, Drew. It's true, you gotta take the pubes, you gotta make a way for it to go red, right? Because it's like, you gotta put gesso on that canvas before you start a new painting, you know what I'm saying?

1:14:14 Drew Primer, primer.

1:14:17 Adam No, I'm talking about gesso on the canvas, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what gesso is?

1:14:21 Drew No.

1:14:23 Caller Hey, Andrew and Chris, gesso on the canvas.

1:14:26 Adam Let's say some of the gesso. Gesso is basically just white paint put on the canvas. You don't paint right on the canvas, you put the gesso on there. Ha ha ha, bozo gesso.

1:14:34 Drew Ha ha.

1:14:36 Adam Gesso is bozo-scamaya.

1:14:37 Caller All right, let's talk to Josh.

1:14:39 Adam Josh, you got a little gesso on them pews for you, primer, like that Drew said. You turn them neutral, then you turn them a different color.

1:14:48 Drew Very carefully.

1:14:49 Caller I've spilled gas on my nuts before, and it really stung.

1:14:55 Caller Yeah, well, I'll tell you what you do.

1:14:57 Adam I'll tell you what you do.

1:14:58 Caller You know what you do? I'll tell you what I know.

1:14:59 Adam God bless you. Bag them nuts. You bag them nuts. Bag of nuts. You take yourself. No, no, no, listen, man. You take yourself a Ziploc sandwich bag. You bag them nuts. You put a zip tie on the thing. Electrician zip tie. Now, I'm telling you right now, it's just like masking off an automobile. Let me tell you something, Drew. You paint an automobile, right? You got you got chrome rear view hanging outside the car, right? We don't want to pay that car. What do you do?

1:15:23 Drew Tape it up.

1:15:24 Adam Tape it up. Mask them.

1:15:25 Drew Bag them.

1:15:26 Caller Bag that nuts.

1:15:27 Adam Bag them nuts. You bag them nuts. Then you start your spraying.

1:15:32 Caller See everything?

1:15:32 Adam Little gesso down there.

1:15:33 Drew But he'll have the red bozo goatee.

1:15:36 Caller No, no, same old nuts.

1:15:38 Drew Cut that off.

1:15:38 Adam No, he's 18 years old. I don't know about nut hair at 18. He got no Fu Manchu down there. You know what I'm saying? Now when I was 18, my nuts were at Channamans chin. Some 2220 or something.

1:15:53 Drew You're slowly morphing into like something else.

1:15:56 Adam Yeah, like someone is breaking it up a little bit.

1:15:59 Drew Yeah, yeah, making it real. Kerry, yes, what's up?

1:16:10 Caller Hello, you go.

1:16:11 Drew Yep, we're here.

1:16:13 Caller Hi. Is it?

1:16:16 Drew Well, yes, go, go, go.

1:16:21 Adam Nicole.

1:16:22 Yes.

1:16:23 Adam 21.

1:16:24 I'm pregnant and I don't know if I should tell my ex-boyfriend or not, but I am.

1:16:30 Drew Is he the father?

1:16:32 He's the only one that I've ever slept with.

1:16:35 Adam How ex is he?

1:16:37 Two months.

1:16:38 Adam Two months, and why?

1:16:38 Because I'm going away at the end of this semester. I go to USC. I'm going to go away to grad school at University of Massachusetts Amherst.

1:16:48 Caller Oh.

1:16:48 Drew Like a study.

1:16:49 Adam Go Lord Jeffs.

1:16:50 Drew Well, no, no, this is UMass, though.

1:16:53 Adam Oh, you're that one.

1:16:54 Caller I'm trying to be a history professor.

1:16:56 Drew Nice.

1:16:57 Adam And why did you guys, you guys broke up because you're going to move, but you're not going to move for a while and you broke up two months ago.

1:17:04 Because I just, I don't want to deal with it later. I don't want to be in a relationship and then have to do it later.

1:17:11 Drew All right, well, now you're dealing with more. What are you going to do with this pregnancy?

1:17:15 I don't know. I can't tell my parents because they're Jesus freaks.

1:17:18 Drew What are you going to do with it?

1:17:19 I don't know. I know if I tell him he's going to want to.

1:17:23 Drew Nicole. This has nothing to do with that. You can get support from everybody, but the fact is no one makes this decision.

1:17:30 Adam Well, she doesn't know. That's why she's calling us.

1:17:32 Drew That's what I want to sort of clarify. Where are you heading with this?

1:17:37 Caller I want to fulfill my dreams.

1:17:40 Drew Which are?

1:17:41 Adam Having an abortion.

1:17:43 I want to be able to go to grad school. I want to be able to have a career before I have children.

1:17:47 Drew And you don't want to put this up for adoption?

1:17:49 Adam Have an abortion.

1:17:50 Drew Adoption.

1:17:52 But that means that I would have to tell my parents.

1:17:55 Drew Does it?

1:17:58 Adam Where are your parents?

1:18:00 What's that?

1:18:01 Adam Where are your parents?

1:18:02 Where are your parents?

1:18:04 Adam And you're a couple months pregnant?

1:18:07 I'm just a month.

1:18:10 Adam I thought you broke up with the guy a month, two months ago. Well, first off, let me try to suss something out. You're done with this guy. Yeah, you're not interested in him.

1:18:22 No, not anymore, no.

1:18:24 Adam No. Did you meet somebody else?

1:18:26 No, I haven't met anyone else.

1:18:27 Adam You're just done because the whole part where you get real mature where you're like, look, in August, I'm going to be leaving for, and so we should break up.

1:18:38 Drew Another guy.

1:18:38 Adam No, it's just we should break up in February or March. That just means you're done with the guy. It's not because you're moving. It's just you don't like him anymore.

1:18:49 Caller Yeah, kind of, yeah.

1:18:50 Caller Yeah.

1:18:51 Adam Well, please. But listen, everyone, when people are in love, they're making out on the way to the airport and crying, not busting up six months before they need to. That being said, if you told this guy you're pregnant, you feel like that would force him back into your life.

1:19:10 Caller Yeah.

1:19:11 Adam And he's a little clingy. He's been...

1:19:14 He's going to be 27.

1:19:16 Adam Has he been wanting to get back together this whole time?

1:19:19 Well, he calls me to see how I'm doing, how school is going, if I'm prepared for finals and all that.

1:19:24 Drew What's he doing?

1:19:25 He right now is studying to be... He's in his residency at UCLA med school.

1:19:32 Drew In what field?

1:19:33 He wants to be a cardiologist.

1:19:36 Drew So he's finishing his internal medicine residency?

1:19:38 Caller Yes.

1:19:39 Drew So he's going to do a cardiology fellowship?

1:19:40 Caller Yes.

1:19:41 Drew So he's going to be tied up for another four or five years?

1:19:45 Adam He likes you, but you're done with him.

1:19:47 Caller Yeah.

1:19:48 Adam That's fine. So now you're one month pregnant. You're sure you're pregnant. All right. Well, here's my two cents. A lot of people, Drew is a big fan of adoption, and so am I. But I understand, you got to see that kid through full term. Then there's that selfish part, which is, then I have this kid out there, and it's my kid and some other family is raising it, and that freaks people out. As a matter of fact, most people, and this just lets you know how selfish people are, and I don't blame them. I mean, this is just the way human nature is. Most people would rather abort their own child than live with the notion of their own child being somewhere and not being a part of their life.

1:20:39 Drew But that's a kind of a primitive man, goofy logic. Not a good logic.

1:20:44 Adam It's not nothing to be proud of, but yet it's prevalent.

1:20:47 Drew We should think our way out of that one.

1:20:49 Adam It'd be nice. Now here's my feeling, and I don't know where Drew is on this. You can take this whole potential president thing and distill it down to a couple of single cells and really your head would explode. At a certain point, for me, like I said, you could say pulling out was the wrong thing to do or beating off or using a condom or any form of birth control. For me, I hate the idea of abortion. I certainly hate the idea of it in the second trimester, or third, or the late term stuff, you know. The idea of doing it a number of weeks in, three, four weeks, no, I'm telling you, the idea of doing it at the real early stages of it is a thousand times more palatable. And I don't know, by the way, why everyone isn't this way.

1:21:41 Drew Well, because they're saying there's no doubt what the potential of this is going to be.

1:21:45 Adam Yeah, and I understand you can do the math, but oh my God, I mean, to me, the difference between a six-year-old getting clipped on a spike and going down and you having a miscarriage three weeks into it, that's a spot of blood in your underpants. I mean, I don't care where you go, what God you pray to, it's vastly different. And so if you're gonna, you know, if she's telling me she's five months pregnant and looking at abortion, I'd say, well, come on, stick it out.

1:22:18 Drew Again, you're sort of arguing around experiential kinds of measures of what these things are as opposed to philosophical measures.

1:22:26 Adam Well, even philosophically, like I said, the more advanced the life form, the harder this is gonna be. I mean, it's not, you know, I can understand that this thing is gonna turn into a child one day. The point is, is it's pretty far away now. And I would find that personally much more easy, easier to cope with. So I'm just saying, you know, we can't tell her, what line is she on? Line two? I mean, we can't tell you what to do. And I think we would both prefer the adoption, that's us being selfish in a certain way. But if you are gonna get an abortion, do it tomorrow.

1:23:09 Caller No, I planned on it.

1:23:12 Drew I know if you're a boy, I don't think you have to tell your boyfriend.

1:23:15 Caller I don't have that whole moral aspect of-

1:23:18 Drew I don't think there's a, I'm not sure there's a moral obligation. If you're gonna, if there's a child out there, I think you do, but-

1:23:23 Adam And all it's gonna do is freak him out.

1:23:25 Drew Well, not the, let's put this, not the way the legal structure is now. There's no even implied moral obligation to notify the guy.

1:23:31 Adam And Drew, would you wanna know?

1:23:33 Drew No.

1:23:33 Adam No, I mean, look, would you wanna know if- But I'm weak. You walk down the room and someone said, boy, that guy stunk or he's in a hole or we hate him. No, you wouldn't.

1:23:42 Drew Yeah.

1:23:43 Adam There's plenty of bad stuff you don't need to know. I'll tell you what you need to know, Drew.

1:23:47 Drew All right, thanks, Adam. I'll just go to you for everything.

1:23:49 Adam Anybody can give me a warm up on this coffee, by the way? Chris and I need to talk about you a little bit.

1:23:54 Drew All right, I'll be right back.

1:23:55 Adam Stuff you don't need to know about.

1:23:57 Drew What do you have to tell me that?

1:23:58 Adam Oh, yeah, see? No, that was a mistake. Yeah, look, I don't want some girlfriend of mine, especially when I'm still pining for and in love with, going, oh, by the way, I was pregnant with your kid. I went ahead and had her bored. I thought you should know. It's nothing you can do about it.

1:24:10 Drew All right. It's to get a light in her load, not for anything from him. All right.

1:24:16 Adam We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:24:19 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:24:21 Drew Thanks.

1:24:32 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:24:35 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:24:37 Adam I'm your humble host, Adam Carolla is a good partner. On and on, and off again, lover. Dr. Drew over there. Jerry from Survivor. Survivor, my favorite show. Gonna be in tomorrow night. She, let me tell you something about Jerry. Came, didn't come across too well. The first Survivor she was in, came across much better last one.

1:25:00 Drew I think she made a point to see to it that she shouldn't unload on people.

1:25:05 Adam Did a good job. She's been on this show and in a better mood since the first time we met her, yes?

1:25:12 Drew I only remember that one time she was on.

1:25:14 Adam Really?

1:25:14 Caller Yeah.

1:25:18 Adam Just once, huh?

1:25:20 Caller All right, well good times.

1:25:22 Drew You just got a better feel about her, huh?

1:25:23 Adam I got a better vibe about her. Carrie?

1:25:26 Caller Yes.

1:25:27 Adam You're 26?

1:25:28 Caller Yes.

1:25:29 Adam What's up?

1:25:31 Caller Well, my question is, I didn't know if maybe there was a medical condition for forgetfulness.

1:25:36 Drew Yeah, there's a number of different things about what's happening.

1:25:39 Caller Extreme. Basically, my husband could tell me something and five minutes later, I could completely 100% forget all about it.

1:25:47 Drew You've always been this way or is this something new?

1:25:50 Caller I've mostly noticed it since I've been out on my own and married and have a family. I have two kids.

1:25:57 Adam Do you remember things that are important to you about you? The stuff you need done?

1:26:04 Caller No, I forget everything. Like I'll tell myself, if I remember, if I need something important, like my job, if I need to a schedule, if I pick up a schedule for somebody, I'll forget about it if I don't write it down. If I don't have it right in front of my face, I'll completely forget about anything that's important.

1:26:18 Drew Are you on medication?

1:26:20 Caller No.

1:26:21 Drew Birth control pills?

1:26:22 Caller No.

1:26:23 Drew No birth control pill?

1:26:24 Caller No.

1:26:25 Drew Any medical problems?

1:26:28 Caller Not that I know of, no.

1:26:29 Drew Any speed history?

1:26:31 Caller No.

1:26:32 Drew No drug history, alcohol, anything like that?

1:26:34 Caller No.

1:26:35 Drew Never had any head injuries?

1:26:37 Caller No.

1:26:38 Drew And no learning disabilities growing up, any of that sort of thing? No learning disabilities or anything like that growing up?

1:26:45 Caller No, no, none.

1:26:46 Drew Anything in your family that way, neurologically or otherwise?

1:26:50 Adam Why don't you take one of those memory courses?

1:26:52 Drew Well, no, no, hang on. Because these things usually end up actually not being memory problems.

1:26:57 Adam What are they?

1:26:58 Drew They end up being attentional problems. That's what I'm talking about. That people, as they get older, lose certain amount of strength in their ability to focus and retain and pay attention or keep their attentional focus.

1:27:13 Adam A lot of people around me have that.

1:27:14 Drew And whether it's because of the mood disturbance or because you're raising kids or you're depressed or just aging or maybe you had a tension problem. But usually these things tend to be attentional rather than truly memory.

1:27:26 Caller Can it be related to stress?

1:27:28 Drew Absolutely. That's what I just finished saying.

1:27:30 Adam Whatever you want to call it, it doesn't work.

1:27:33 Drew Yeah, but improving memory doesn't make this problem any better.

1:27:36 Adam Well, maybe part of improving memory is improving attention. I mean, whatever it is. You know what I'm saying? It's like, I don't know how those courses work. I've never taken one. But I'm saying if you start focusing on your memory or do whatever it takes to memorize things more clearly, more effectively, then maybe that will help your focus. I don't know what else to tell her. I mean, others start focusing.

1:28:04 Drew Well, first have medical evaluation, see if it would make sure it's not a thyroid problem or something, creating these attentional problems, make sure it's not a mood disturbance. She's talking about stress. She may be depressed. That may be the issue.

1:28:13 Adam She's 26, said she was never much good at it.

1:28:16 Drew Two kids, two kids at 26.

1:28:18 Adam She said it didn't just kick in. She said it's always been that way.

1:28:21 Drew Hasn't she? No, it's just been bad since she's been on her own with kids.

1:28:25 Adam Now, were you ever good? Did you ever have a good memory, Carrie?

1:28:31 Caller Yeah, when I was younger, when I was in high school, I did.

1:28:34 Caller You were a good student?

1:28:36 Caller And then I started college and it seemed to be starting to decline then, but it wasn't real bad. And then now I'm noticing it because it's frustrating for my husband.

1:28:46 Drew Well, you made to see a neurologist to have a neurologic evaluation. The only way to really assess these things there was something called neuropsychological testing. But then again, there may be sort of other things to be looked at anatomically and just in physical examination that might give some clues about what's going on here.

1:29:00 Adam Every time I hear one of those memory things, it always sounds good. I know you don't like them, but why not? You know, a thing where you go to a party, you meet 40 people, you remember all their names. Now, I sort of conveniently feel like, well, then you get to be one of those kind of people where the more memory you have, the less personality you have.

1:29:21 Drew The more substance, yeah.

1:29:22 Adam Less spontaneous, whatever.

1:29:24 Drew You can put those courses with the vocabulary courses too.

1:29:27 Adam I know, but what's wrong with the vocabulary course?

1:29:30 Drew If there's no substance, you don't know to use the vocabulary, you know what I'm saying? The thoughts aren't evolved. I am the most June person I know, how dare you? You have the temerity to call me June?

1:29:44 Adam Well, listen, all I'm saying is, the idea of helping your memory, and you don't have to memorize 300 people in the studio audience, but I'm just saying, generally, I think you can help your memory by focusing just a little bit. Think how many times you meet people, you don't even think about their name at all. I mean, when we started doing this show, I should say when I started doing this show, you don't hear what the callers are saying for the first, it's been nine years now, actually, since I've actually heard the question. No, I'm just saying, you don't naturally listen. People are saying their names, they're not, you have to discipline yourself to do it.

1:30:29 Drew Good times.

1:30:29 Adam Yes, you couldn't hurt.

1:30:30 Drew Good times.

1:30:31 Adam Focused on it.

1:30:32 Drew Which means an evaluation first.

1:30:33 Adam Fine. I also believe, like we were talking about last night with Buddhism, which is there's nothing magic about it. You just chant for something for an hour a day, and eventually you get it. It's not because Buddha dropped it off, it's because you focused on it. Knowing you have a memory problem, taking a course, reading a book, sort of focusing on it is obviously going to help.

1:30:56 Caller All right.

1:30:57 Adam Let's talk to Alicia. Hey, you're 17.

1:31:02 Caller Yeah.

1:31:03 Caller What's up?

1:31:05 Caller I have a question about female ejaculation. Heard that when a female gets an orgasm, it's kind of squirts.

1:31:22 Drew Not necessarily. A small minority of women, sometimes it does.

1:31:27 Caller I used to, though, I don't know, pleasure myself. Like stuff will come out when I get.

1:31:34 Drew Well, that's some women sometimes.

1:31:36 Adam Remember, you're out of fluid, like, like, you know, wiper spray.

1:31:40 Drew I can't use oil.

1:31:41 Adam You need oil, but you also run out like wiper spray. You have to top off every once in a while. Yeah.

1:31:48 Caller But actually, my question is that, like, when my boyfriend tries to get me there, like, he, I feel like I'm having an orgasm because I kind of, like, quiver and twitch and everything. Like, I'm getting it, but nothing's coming out. And he really wants to, like, Well, forget it.

1:32:06 Drew That's fine.

1:32:07 Adam And don't have an orgasm for him.

1:32:09 Drew Yeah.

1:32:09 Adam Have it for me. Oh, it is.

1:32:12 Drew Yeah, let this nonsense go. This is ridiculous. Yeah.

1:32:15 Adam You're fine.

1:32:16 Drew Yeah.

1:32:17 Adam Oh, oh, boy, I got something to say about car oil. I just never have enough time.

1:32:22 Drew Here we go.

1:32:22 Adam What a great car oil story, Drew. All right. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:32:28 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

1:32:29 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:32:33 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:32:34 Caller Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

1:32:38 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:32:50 Adam Back. Hey everybody. Well that's the show. Well what do you know? Jerry Manthe from Survivor in here tomorrow night. Dear, dear friend. No, not really. I didn't like her the first time, but I really do like Survivor.

1:33:11 Drew Yeah, she was good this time.

1:33:12 Adam She's a new woman. All right, so until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:33:18 Caller The radians are crazy. It seems Germans are too. When it comes to FBS, there's nothing they won't do. So ask away. It's time to play. Don't say I didn't mourn ya. It's Adam Corolla's favorite game, Germany or Florida.

1:33:29 Adam Whatever.

1:33:34 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004