Episode 1000609975670

0:03 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

0:08 Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

0:11 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew. Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist, everybody. Dear, dear, dear, dear friend of the show, Sharon Osbourne is here tonight.

0:28 Sharon Osbourne Hello.

0:29 Adam Good to see you.

0:30 Sharon Osbourne Thank you so much. Good to see you.

0:32 Adam How are your spirits? It seemed like a good question.

0:38 Sharon Osbourne That's a very novel way, Adam, to say, how are you? I'm doing fine. Thank you.

0:43 Drew Good.

0:43 Adam You look good.

0:44 Sharon Osbourne Thank you.

0:46 Adam Oh, you've been to hell and back, my dear. You've been, I've had trouble with yourself, the kids, Ozzie, the accident, the cancer, everything.

0:55 Drew Trying to do a talk show through all this?

0:56 Adam Yeah, trying to do a talk show. I mean, could there be a four year or three and a half year period? I don't know when when we started that had more highs, more lows, more success, more tragedy. I mean, you've been on the planet for a while. It didn't feel like you got like a lifetime squeezed into three years.

1:17 Sharon Osbourne Yeah, it's all been condensed into three years and it's it's been a hell of a ride.

1:23 Drew I'm flashing now on a fun Osbourne show moment where you were on a jet with Kelly taking her back to somewhere and saying things are so wonderful now. But I'm such a Jewish mom. I expect the other shoe to drop any minute. And that was that was before it all started.

1:39 Sharon Osbourne But do you know what happened right after that? I swear to you, this is a true story. The next day after that, I got the results that I had cancer. And I said that the night before on the plane.

1:51 Drew Not crazy.

1:52 Sharon Osbourne Yeah, you know, you just get the feeling that life is too good. It doesn't work this way.

1:56 Adam I know. But it's you know, it's life's tough because when it's really good, you're waiting for something bad to happen. And then when bad things are happening, well, bad things are.

2:05 Drew Well, you're waiting for it to get better.

2:07 Adam Yeah.

2:07 Drew When it gets better, you're waiting for it to get bad.

2:11 Adam Let me tell Drew. Shut up. What are you saying? Here's what I'm saying. I'm saying is when it's bad, it's bad. And when it's good, you're waiting for it to get bad.

2:18 Caller Right.

2:18 Adam Which can kind of ruin it too.

2:20 Caller Yeah.

2:20 Adam Yeah. This is going to end. When is this going to stop? It's a combination between I could just get randomly shot at the ATM or when are people going to wise up, realize who I really am and throw me out here? Do you see what I'm saying? Well, that's what we're all going to do with you in this radio show. How dare you, Drew? Can you believe we get paid the same, Sharon? Oh my God. That is like Ozzy getting paid the same as his roadie. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, sure. Technically, they travel. See, that's what Drew would be the roadie going. Hey, man, I travel. I don't even get to fly in the plane. I got to take the bus.

2:54 Sharon Osbourne I'm at the gig too.

2:56 Adam You are. The Wiggies think, goodbye. I get there before you, dude, and I leave after you. I should get paid more.

3:01 Drew I'm sure the roadie fans that come up to the roadies saying as they often do to me, why don't they let you perform more? Why don't they let more of you come through? Ozzy hogs the stage too much.

3:11 Sharon Osbourne It's all about you.

3:13 Drew Yeah, Adam, it's all about you.

3:14 Adam Thank you. All right. So let's see, what do we got here? Sharon, now, what's up with the talk show? The last episode is going to air May 12th or is it taping May 12th?

3:25 Sharon Osbourne It's taping till May 12th. The last episode is September 7th.

3:30 Adam And then that's it. Yeah. Is it just too much of a grind? Or did you just do it and you did it?

3:37 Sharon Osbourne It was a dream come true for me. I'd always wanted to do it. The opportunity came and I ran with it, but I didn't get picked up for another year.

3:45 Drew I really liked your show. I'm so surprised. Is there any chance somebody else will pick it up?

3:51 Sharon Osbourne Not now because I'm going off to do other things this year. Yeah, I'm going over to England to do a show there. Two shows, in fact. So not for a while now.

4:01 Adam I did Sharon's show when Sharon wasn't there.

4:04 Caller Kathy Griffin hosted.

4:06 Adam I got everyone in the world to co-host but me. Or guest host, I should say. They actually did have one of Ozzie's roadies doing an episode. Drew, you didn't do it. Did you do it?

4:16 Drew Everyone in the world did it except you.

4:17 Adam Did you? You must.

4:19 Drew Everyone in the world.

4:19 Adam Engineer Chris.

4:20 Drew Yeah, Chris did.

4:21 Sharon Osbourne Yeah, Chris was there.

4:22 I remember Chris.

4:24 Sharon Osbourne He was fabulous.

4:25 Adam Yeah, he had all trouble with those cute cars, I remember. But everybody, well, anyway, Kathy Griffin is a dear, dear friend. I was glad to do it. But I was disappointed that she was there. It's much a lot of times people show up here when Drew's on the road and they get Dr. Bruce and I can just see the look on their face. That's the that's the same look I had on my face when Sharon wasn't there.

4:44 Drew And the same look when you're going to go to jail, buddy. The same look when an audience shows up in the roadie. They were looking forward to seeing it wasn't there. That's right.

4:53 Adam All right. So Sharon has don't worry about her. She'll land on her feet. You're going to see you're going to England to do TV shows.

5:02 Sharon Osbourne Yeah, I've got two shows lined up.

5:04 Drew I bet they'll be fun there.

5:05 Sharon Osbourne Yeah, with two separate channels in the UK. And I'm doing that until the end of the year.

5:10 Adam Are you so you'll be moving there, I guess?

5:13 Sharon Osbourne No, I'm going to do the shows back to back. And I'll probably be there for about two months and then come back home.

5:21 Adam And now OzFest is going to kick off July 10th.

5:25 Drew Yes.

5:25 Adam But Ozzy is not in any condition to perform, is he?

5:28 Sharon Osbourne Yeah, he's doing so much better.

5:30 Drew He is.

5:31 Sharon Osbourne Yeah, he's fine. And it's sort of anime gave him a date.

5:35 Adam He's fine. He's fine.

5:36 Sharon Osbourne He's not fine as I don't think that Ozzy will ever have the strength back that he once had before the accident. But I mean, he's doing fine. He's really good.

5:48 Adam And so this gives him something to shoot for.

5:51 Sharon Osbourne That date gave him something to work towards.

5:53 Drew Was he actually on a ventilator for as long as they said he was?

5:56 Sharon Osbourne Eight days. He was on the tube on the tube for eight days. And they had to take him off the ventilator because they were scared of infection going into his vocal cords. And they'd given him like a few hours to see whether his body would breathe on his own. Otherwise they were going to give him a tracheotomy.

6:17 Adam So Drew, eight hours on the ventilator, I mean, eight days on the ventilator is mega.

6:22 Drew To not get an ammonia is amazing. To be able to, given the sort of the musculoskeletal injury and problems.

6:28 Sharon Osbourne He did. He had mild pneumonia and they thought that it was going to get worse, but thank God it didn't. But he did have it.

6:35 Adam Wow. All right. Well, you know, I think that's nice. I was thinking about is, is when you're Ozzy Osbourne, you have this date of you going out in front of 55,000 people, whereas most people, it's just sort of, yeah, it's been one year since the accident and I was going to, my goal was to make a solid BM on my own within the week of my anniversary of the snowmobile accident. This is much more motivation. I mean, when he goes out and that stage and the crowd is going to go insane.

7:06 Sharon Osbourne I hope they will because he has worked so hard since Christmas to get to get himself together again.

7:15 Adam So he's rehabbing every day, he's on the treadmill, he's in the swimming pool.

7:19 Sharon Osbourne And he has to work with a physiotherapist and, you know, he's so much better.

7:26 Adam All right. So let's go to the phones. Am I missing anything? No. Yes. That's right. Miss Diana, here you go. Diana. You're 16? What's up?

7:42 Actually, I'm on a question for Dr. Drew, but my main question is, I was wondering when you get your period and the egg comes out, if it's at all predetermined and if it's just any egg that would have been hatched otherwise, like, let's say, like someone's mother, a different egg came out and like, listen, my mom had my egg when she was, you know, a teenager, would I not be born?

8:05 Drew What?

8:06 Adam I think she's talking about giant turtles. You know, they go up to the beach.

8:10 Drew They lay their eggs in the pit.

8:11 Adam Yeah, you got to watch out because the crabs will get them before they make the surf. Oh, the hatchlings. Okay, your eggs, your egg drops down, right?

8:20 Drew Yeah, your egg is released.

8:22 Adam It doesn't hatch, per se.

8:24 Drew No, the hatching suggests a calcium shell, but your egg is just a single cell.

8:28 Adam It's just a cell.

8:29 Drew Tiny, tiny cell.

8:31 But when you're pregnant, it hatches, right?

8:34 Drew No, no, no, no. Diana.

8:37 Adam By the way. Yeah.

8:39 Drew LA. Unified? No.

8:41 Adam Hey, yeah. I want you to go, when you go into school tomorrow, I want you to find your health teacher. I want you to kick him right in the nuts and say, you have failed me horribly. Kick him in the eggs, the huevos, as the Spaniards would say.

8:56 Drew No, there's no hatching. The sperm penetrates the cell. The egg is a single cell.

9:02 Adam Just one cell.

9:03 Drew One cell. And the sperm is also one cell. Micro, micro, microscopic.

9:08 Adam But it seems like the sperm is a smaller cell than the egg.

9:11 Drew It is a smaller cell, absolutely. Hundreds of times smaller, but maybe.

9:14 Adam Oh, really?

9:14 Drew And it gets in there.

9:16 Adam There's mega cells and minus cells?

9:18 Drew It's bigger and smaller. I mean, there's single-celled organisms. What? How many angstroms are there across?

9:31 Adam Oh, Drew, touche.

9:32 Drew How many angstroms a sperm is a cause. But the fact is that then the cell just starts dividing and then differentiating and forming a fetus. And it does that while it's moving down the fallopian tubes. And eventually, if the what's called the corpus luteum starts producing enough progesterone, it will prepare the uterus to accept the egg and it will implant in the uterine lining and then the placenta will take over the production of progesterone to sustain the fetus.

10:02 Adam Okay, well let me ask you a question. Are you a real doctor or just a love doctor?

10:14 Drew Yes, every time you have your period, there's an egg that goes unused.

10:18 Adam Well, wait a second. I thought when you have your period, that's the lining sloughing off and then you drop the egg two weeks later.

10:24 Drew Yeah, the egg is, but it's, you have your period because the egg is unused.

10:28 Adam Oh, you have the, because you're not utilizing the egg, it's not cracked.

10:32 Drew Not cracked. All right.

10:36 Adam All right. Hey, Diana? Okay, baby. Don't be so depressed.

10:40 Drew What's behind all that?

10:41 I don't know, just, I was just thinking about people living and stuff, and…

10:47 Adam Uh-oh. You're depressed.

10:48 You're depressed. No, no, no, I'm not. Yes, yes, you are.

10:50 Adam Well, then you're high. Then you're taking mushrooms. You're depressed. You're taking mushrooms.

10:54 Drew What do you mean you're thinking about people living? What does that mean?

10:56 No, I just, I, I don't, you're going to make fun of me. I just think a lot about people living and how they think and how they affect and everything.

11:04 Drew Every, every person is a result of a unique egg and a unique sperm.

11:08 Adam That's right.

11:08 Drew You know, millions and millions of sperm could have gotten to that egg, but one gets there and forms a unique person.

11:13 Adam That's right. We're all different in our own ways.

11:15 Drew Now your eyes get better speaking of different in our own way.

11:18 Adam Now listen up, you Lemmings.

11:20 Drew Oh, you're a…

11:21 Adam I'm the leader.

11:22 Drew Your TV people must have gone insane when you walked in with that big thing out of your eye.

11:26 Adam All right. Drew, we're talking about eggs, not my eye. I had, I had what I thought was an egg-grown… No, I'm not pointing at the side that hurts. I, I had what I thought, you shut up, Drew. I thought I was, I had an ingrown hair and my thing was like there. Ah, it's still, I'm still going with ingrown hair. I took a, I took a pan, I was trying to dig it out and it got all infected and everything. Drew, it got all weird. But let me tell you something about the Corollas. We snap back. This thing be gone in a day. Don't you worry. And here's the thing, too, about makeup. You know, you, you don't realize it till you do something. I've been shooting this ABC special all week. You go in there with a little neck rash, a little zit, a little blackhead, pow! They go right over. It's like going to the body shop. You got a scratch. You got a ding. You got a dent. Well, we'll buff that right out. And then you realize for women, every day is this. Now it's a pain in the ass. But when a guy gets a zit, we got to go, we got to go out and face the world with that zit. And we got something funky, something effed up, little herpy thing, little zit thing, little whatever thing. That's us. That's our badge. And people will know, you'll go to work. I like when people do it too. You got a zit. Like, hey, what happened there? A zit! Because it looked like a zit. Thanks for asking.

12:40 Drew What happened here?

12:41 Adam I love that. Any questions?

12:42 Drew It's their favorite question. Hey, what happened here?

12:44 Adam Yeah. Any other questions about the brillo head or the yellow teeth? Any insulting things you want to get in? What happened here? You would go find short guys and ask them, hey, what happened here? What happened with it? What's going on? That's why I hate people, Sharon. I got a dent in my car and every MFer on the planet has to come up to it and go, hey, what happened here? What happened? A meteor hit me. Something hit the car. Hey, what happened? You don't care what happened. What do you mean what happened?

13:13 Sharon Osbourne If it's any consolation to you, I cannot see anything wrong with your eye. It's perfect.

13:20 Adam Because it's like I'm like a sun to Sharon. And in her eyes.

13:25 Drew You're radiant.

13:30 Adam You are perfect. I mean like an offspring. Yes. Thank you.

13:35 Drew Yes. She idealizes it.

13:36 Adam Thank you.

13:36 Drew Thank you.

13:37 Adam I'm just saying, though, am I right, though, when a woman, Drew, you've gotten a zit. Drew, what do you got? You got a little zit right there.

13:43 What?

13:43 Adam What is that? Right on the side of your leg.

13:44 What do you got there?

13:45 Drew What's happening here?

13:46 Adam What's that?

13:47 Sharon Osbourne It's an ingrowing hair.

13:49 Adam What is that?

13:49 Drew Give me your pin. Let me dig it out.

13:52 Adam It's your Sharon. Come on. Look at that. Look at that. Unsightly. Unsightly.

13:56 Sharon Osbourne That's a little spot. Yes, it is. It's a spot.

13:59 Adam We call it a turn-off.

14:01 Drew In England, they call zits spots.

14:03 Sharon Osbourne Yes, it's a spot.

14:04 Drew It's much better. It's simpler, isn't it?

14:06 Sharon Osbourne It's much nicer than a zit.

14:08 Adam Yeah. Well, as a guy, you can't do anything with your spots. You get one, you've got to go live with it. Women, you wear makeup. Roll right over it.

14:16 Drew We need to start a new movement here to start calling zits spots.

14:19 Sharon Osbourne It's so much nicer.

14:20 Drew Oh, it's so much more pleasant. The British don't use language. It's spots. It's got spots on his face.

14:26 Adam Yeah, you're right.

14:27 Drew It leaves out the pus and the white head. It just leaves out the red spots.

14:32 Adam Yeah, we got our choice. We got zit and we got black head and we got white head. White head is a good English name, by the way. I work with a guy named white head. Let's get back to the spots. Pustule. Mike.

14:46 Sharon Osbourne Leave that out.

14:47 Adam You're 19?

14:48 Caller Yeah. I've been married about five months now. I just found out last night my wife's pregnant. I'm having a pretty hard time dealing. I was wondering if what I'm feeling is normal and what my wife has been doing is normal. She's upstairs sleeping right now, so I gotta be kind of quiet.

15:07 Drew And you're 19 and she's 19?

15:08 Caller Yeah.

15:09 Drew All right. And she's pregnant. You're married how long?

15:12 Caller Five months.

15:13 Drew Five months.

15:14 Caller I met her four and a half years ago.

15:17 Adam He met her four and a half years ago.

15:18 Caller All right.

15:19 Sharon Osbourne All right.

15:19 Adam So what's the question?

15:22 Caller She's been pretty mean and said some pretty jacked up things to me and she talks about ex-boyfriends a lot and it's upsetting me quite a bit.

15:31 Drew Is she vomiting a lot?

15:33 Caller Yes, she is.

15:34 Drew And how far into her pregnancy is she?

15:36 Caller A month and a half.

15:38 Drew Six weeks. It could be a pretty miserable time. And also women sometimes feel terribly, terribly vulnerable as pregnancies hit and they start, you know, if you're not paying attention properly, they'll start sort of acting out in various ways.

15:51 Adam Really? You mean like with other guys?

15:54 Drew No, no, no. I more mean sort of lashing out. I guess it would be a better way of lashing out. It would be a better way of saying it.

15:59 Adam Oh, women.

16:00 Caller Yeah.

16:01 Adam So it's almost like it's like pre-menstrual?

16:04 Drew It's worse. For some women it's way worse. I don't know if they're just men.

16:08 Caller Ex-boyfriends and like how she tried to get pregnant with them.

16:12 Drew Well, her thing is, look what you've done to me, you've made me miserable.

16:14 Caller She was trying actually.

16:17 Drew No, I understand. But now that you are pregnant, it's your fault that she feels so horrible.

16:20 Adam Well, look, you screw up.

16:21 Drew And she feels vulnerable because you apparently, at least in her mind, probably are not spending the kind of giving her the kind of attention she feels she needs.

16:29 Caller Yeah. Oh, man.

16:32 Adam Wait a minute. I'm going bogus here. I don't believe you.

16:36 Caller Mike. Yeah.

16:38 Adam I don't believe you.

16:40 Caller I'm sitting right here at home talking to you guys and I'm very confused myself about this whole situation. All right.

16:48 Drew Well, look.

16:51 Adam When you say lucky, you got to say something.

16:52 Drew Well, I'm saying what more can we say? It's just that she's, she's miserable, maybe even getting a postpartum depression doesn't always start postpartum. It can start intrapartum too. She was on medication before, now she's off medicines. You shouldn't be surprised that she may start getting irritable.

17:08 Adam This is why you don't knock up 19 year olds, this is why you don't get married at 19. Because you guys are a mess, emotionally. That's the reality of it. And you know, I don't know, by the way, and look, you stick it out and you stick with it and you stay together and you try to do what's best for the child. And I'm wondering, like, you know, I'm really starting to think where I think you could have got married at 19, 150 years ago, because I think I could...

17:33 Drew You lived to 40.

17:34 Adam Yeah, not only lived to 40, but I think, you know, I'm just sitting there and watching you churn butter all day while I'm, like, fashioning a hat out of straw. I might as well get married at 11, you know what I mean? I think it's tough at 19 to get married now. I mean, there's so much going on and there's so much opportunity, and I don't mean just opportunity for other relationships.

17:56 Sharon Osbourne Why would you want to get married at 19?

17:58 Adam I have no idea. I know it has something to do with being stupid. When you're dumb, you want to grow up really early. It's a weird thing.

18:07 Drew But when your parents have done that, you have that as the model.

18:10 Adam Yeah, well, maybe your parents are dumb, but dumb people like the idea of getting married at 18. They like the idea of joining the Army at 16 and 17. They want to do this stuff. They want to get out of high school. They're in a big hurry to get out of high school, and then they're just in a holding pattern.

18:25 Sharon Osbourne Forever.

18:26 Adam They're 17 for the rest of their life. They got the $9 an hour job. They're driving this crappy car. It's like you're in such a hurry to get out of high school, to get a job, to get independent, to get married, to have a family, whatever, and then you just stay this crappy 19-year-old couple for your whole life.

18:44 Sharon Osbourne And miserable about having a baby on the way.

18:48 Adam Yeah, which is-

18:48 Drew Scared, mostly.

18:49 Adam Unfortunate. You should be scared at 19.

18:52 Drew Can you imagine us fathers at 19? Oh, my God.

18:55 Adam And not only that. Well, first off, we never talk about this, Drew, but let's face it. You make a little money, you get a pad with a little square footage, you go to the other side of it and the old lady starts freaking out. You know, people don't even tell you when you're living on top of each other, that's stress. I mean, when you got a one bedroom apartment and the old lady spinning out, you can't head upstairs or go out to the back and shoot some hoops or something like that. You know, I'm going to hit the lap pool. You go to the library and pitch a tantrum. That's not like the Osbourne house. You guys are on top. It's like, oh, yeah, I'll stay off my side of the futon. That's what it ends up being. You're just you're just you're just in the same place and you don't have any money. And it's all everything's real stressful. And it's just it's really it's really not the time you need to get married. I could see if you're farming and it was 100 years ago.

19:42 Drew You need to create some some children to work the farm.

19:45 Adam Fantastic. Don't do it now. I mean, 25, I think, is young.

19:49 Sharon Osbourne They say they've been together four and a half years. That's insane.

19:54 Adam By the way, they've been together for four and a half years. Where's all the other boyfriend?

19:57 Sharon Osbourne Yeah. Where's all the other one to get me pregnant?

20:00 Adam The other boyfriends have been together since 14, 15.

20:03 Drew Want to ask him?

20:05 Adam Mike.

20:06 Caller Yeah, there was a gap between those years we were apart. My brother got in trouble with the law. By the way, she's military. When you said army, she's Air Force. Shocking.

20:16 Adam So listen, Mike, you don't sound like a dumb guy, but you've you're leading kind of a dumb life.

20:22 Caller Yeah.

20:22 Drew But he's already in.

20:24 Adam OK, you're you're in, but you need to be the brains of the operation now.

20:28 Caller Yeah, I don't know what to do.

20:29 Adam You're going to be you're going to have to be a 19 year old that doesn't act like a 19 year old. You're going to have to step back and get a little distance and not join her in her dance. She's going to come after you. You can't dance with her. She's having all kinds of hormonal changes and feelings. And maybe she's an immature 19 year old.

20:48 Drew You're going to have her meds.

20:49 Adam You're going to have to be very mature 19 year old. And on behalf of now, you're married to the child. I'm just saying, why put that kind of pressure on yourself?

21:01 Drew All right.

21:02 Adam Let's see. When do you hope your kids get married Sharon? You got an age for them? You got three kids.

21:08 Sharon Osbourne Yeah.

21:08 Adam Now, what are they? How old is your oldest by the way?

21:11 Sharon Osbourne Twenty.

21:12 Adam Twenty.

21:14 Sharon Osbourne Nineteen and eighteen and I mean, obviously they're going to do what they want to do but I don't think that they anybody should get married before before twenty six, twenty seven.

21:28 Adam Why not?

21:29 Drew You know, why say twenty eight, thirty two sort of our zone.

21:31 Adam Yeah. But realistically, I know, by the way, her kids have been, you know, you know, they've grown up a little faster than most kids, you know what I'm saying? And a guy like Jack can't stay off the market for too long, you know what I mean?

21:46 Sharon Osbourne But you just don't, you know, what you love at nineteen, you don't love at forty.

21:51 Drew That's true.

21:52 Adam Right.

21:52 Sharon Osbourne You know, come on, you grow, your tastes change, and it would just, you know, if they chose to get married at this early age, of course, there's nothing I could do and I would, you know, support them, but I wouldn't be happy about it.

22:09 Adam How old were you when you married Ozzy?

22:11 Sharon Osbourne Twenty nine.

22:12 Adam And that seems that seemed about right.

22:14 Sharon Osbourne That was right. I mean, I could never have done it before. I definitely wasn't ready. No way.

22:20 Adam Let me give you a little tip, Sharon, as far as the kids go. You know, you always play that angle. Well, look, I don't want them to do this, but if they do do it, there's nothing I can do and I'm going to love them anyway. You should do what Drew's mom would do, which is I'll beat your ass and I'll disown you and you can't do this. And this is Drew's well in those thirties now. All he wants to do is buy a new water heater. She went right after. You know what I'm saying, Drew? That would be more effective because if I had a mom who was saying, look, I don't want you to do X, Y or Z, but of course I can't stop you and I won't stop loving you and supporting you. I'd just go do it. I'd be on my way doing it while she was doing it.

22:57 Sharon Osbourne But what are you going to do when you've got kids who are independent, they don't need you for support, they don't they can go do whatever they want.

23:06 Adam I don't know, you got to try to make friends with them.

23:08 Sharon Osbourne Yeah, and other than you say, you know, you're going to break my heart, I'm going to be so disappointed, but what else can you do?

23:15 Adam Yeah, I don't know. I mean, your kids are smart and they're independent and they have money, they have their own money. I mean, many kids are just like, look, I want to drop out of college. No, you can't. I'm not going to pay, you know, you're not going to fund it, not going to subsidize it. Your kids have their own bank account.

23:33 Sharon Osbourne I have. I can't say to them, I'm not going to support you through school or I'm not going to pay for your car or, you know, I won't pay your rent. You know, they just say, see ya.

23:43 Drew Is Amy in school now?

23:44 Sharon Osbourne No, no, she's out of school.

23:46 Drew She's acting.

23:47 Sharon Osbourne Yeah. And she writes, she's she's doing her own thing in New York.

23:51 Adam And oh, she's out. She moved to New York. That's right. I think, um, Kelly told us that, I believe. Yeah. Sharon Osbourne in studio tonight. We're going to take a quick break. And when we come back, a little Germany or Florida to play after this.

24:07 Thank you for calling Loveline. Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

24:36 Adam There's Sharon Osbourne filling out her paperwork. Drew didn't notice that.

24:40 Sharon Osbourne I'm at your apartment.

24:41 Adam All right, Sharon Osbourne in the studio tonight.

24:43 Sharon Osbourne Are you throwing a tantrum?

24:46 Adam Maybe I had a tantrum last time, sure.

24:48 Sharon Osbourne Again.

24:50 Adam I got to tell you, everybody, who is listening to the show somewhere other than Los Angeles, 103 degrees today, it said on my car thermometers, I was heading into Drew's hometown of Pasadena at about 110 in the afternoon. And I was thinking, we're in April. Like, it's not, we're not, we're not, you know, it's not June 1st. It's, we're in April.

25:15 Drew Not July.

25:16 Adam We're in the month. Yeah, well, it's not July. But what I mean is, it's like we're not-

25:20 Drew Moving into summer.

25:21 Adam I'm saying it's not June. Once in a while, something will spike in June. It'll be like, well, what do you want? Summer's coming up or we're getting into it. You know, okay, it's game on. Like it starts getting hot in June. It's like, all right, we got we got summer. But April, 103?

25:36 Sharon Osbourne It's scary.

25:37 Adam Crazy oppressively hot in April. It was bizarre. And a big earthquake's coming.

25:44 Drew You decided.

25:46 Adam I'm just telling all you a-holes who want to move here from your distant lands to stay home. We got oppressive heat. We got race relations could be better. I'll be honest with you.

25:59 Drew Lots of crime.

26:00 Adam Lots of crime.

26:01 Drew And you know, people don't move their ass.

26:03 Adam People do not drive correctly here. They don't shake a leg.

26:07 Drew Lots of red arrows.

26:11 Adam Although I did, I was talking to Drew on my cell phone and a guy honked at me.

26:17 Sharon Osbourne And it was a policeman.

26:18 Adam No, it was, no, I did. Yeah. I was talking to you. You were saying to me, who are you yelling at? Is it this guy?

26:25 Drew Oh, this was funny. I think it's always exciting around Adam. Whenever you talk to him, there's something amazing happening. You were walking, weren't you?

26:32 Adam Well, here's what happened. And then we're talking about Sharon Osbourne. Say that right now. Here's the thing. I go to this car wash and some car washes, like if you have your car and the antenna's not motorized or where it doesn't go, they'll like unscrew it. They'll take stuff off, you know, so it doesn't get knocked off or whatever. Well, this car wash, it's just like one of these things. They unscrew my antenna on my car and they put it in the driver's seat, in the passenger seat, and of course naturally no one would think to put it back on. But I'm, you know, I'm handy, so I just put on myself. So I go across the street and I'm filling up on gas and I start to screw it on and I get distracted by something, go back, so the thing's just hanging there. Then I start driving home and I realize the radio reception's not so great, the car. And then I think the antenna's fallen off on the street somewhere. It fell off. I had it setting on there and it fell off. And then, so first I get angry at me, then I get angry at the car wash guy, and then I get angry at me again for not screwing it on. And then I double back and I go, all right, it's out in the street, I'm gonna find it. Now I'm driving around looking for it, trying to drive and look for my lost black antenna, which is out in the street somewhere, about a half mile from where I am to the gas station. Finally find it right when Drew calls, pull the car over on a busy street, start walking out into the intersection to go pick it up and the guy's turning right and he honks at me.

27:53 Drew What I hear is, what I hear in my head is, hey D, the light's green. Look at the light.

27:59 Adam I had a crosswalk. What are you yelling at? The guy honked at me.

28:05 Drew Can you say the D word on the radio?

28:07 Adam Can't say dick? Oh, I think you can.

28:10 Drew Anyway, he calls it, he goes, hey, look at the light.

28:13 Adam Hey Anderson, can you say the D word?

28:16 Drew Yeah, say dick all night. He goes, hey, dick, look at the light. It's green. It's going with me. And then I imagine you like raising your hand at him.

28:25 Adam Well, the guy honked at me when I was going across the crosswalk and he was turning right. Yeah, I mean, here's the thing. His signal's red or his signal's green. My do walk, you know, come on and walk thing is green.

28:40 Drew But if you're on the other end of the phone, you're interested in now, well, what just happened? What did he do? What did he do when you yelled at him like that?

28:46 Adam He's a pussy. He didn't do anything. Let me tell you something. Ninety nine percent of people, you just yell at him and you scare the crap out of him. They just keep driving. I size that was the guy look like I look like it was. And then, okay, then the next car that drove by yelled love line socks.

29:03 Sharon Osbourne And I gave the guy the finger and all this time, you're still on the phone to phone with Drew.

29:11 Adam And I'm trying to try to retrieve out of the street. Yeah, that was funny. Yeah. Well, I didn't yell anything at him. He got out of range. I just have to give him the finger. Thank God for that finger.

29:21 Drew Thank God. Oh, my God.

29:23 Adam All right. Germany or Florida. This game is sweet. Sharon, I don't want to rub salt in the wound. But if you guys had picked up on Germany or Florida on the Sharon Osbourne show, you would get picked up for another season. I mean it. It is that good. All bizarre evil emanates from either Germany or Florida. And we're going to find out, we're going to guess, is it Germany or Florida? Go ahead, Nicole.

29:48 Caller A woman and a male friend faced prosecution for human trafficking after they put the woman's daughter up on an auction site starting at the price of a dollar and twenty cents. A photograph of the eight-year-old child was posted by the band who later told the police he had placed an offer to test the online auction system. The senior prosecutor investigating the case said both the man, 35, and the mother, 41, faced charges of attempted child trafficking. Three people made offers for the child at the bidding price reached $30.25 before the company pulled it.

30:22 Adam It went up $30.

30:24 Caller Yeah. $30.25 before the item was removed after being online three to four hours before the company pulled it.

30:32 Drew Well, isn't it kind of the police got it, as I understood.

30:34 Adam So, Drew, you know this story. All right. Well, then you're out of the running, yes?

30:39 Drew I did not know it was one of these said locations, though.

30:43 Adam Oh, really?

30:43 Drew Yeah.

30:44 Adam So, you don't know?

30:44 Drew But I do know it's a particular country, though, so.

30:47 Adam Uh-oh.

30:47 Drew Yeah. So, take myself out of it.

30:51 Adam You think this happened in Germany or Florida, Sharon?

30:53 Sharon Osbourne Florida.

30:54 Adam Sounds like Florida to me, too. You said a particular country. I'm going Florida.

31:00 Sharon Osbourne Definitely.

31:01 Adam Yes.

31:02 Caller Well, it's Germany. Oh.

31:06 Adam That's smart.

31:07 Drew And finally, the reason I said particular country, I was thinking US. I thought it happened in Florida.

31:12 Caller Well, I'm sure it's happening all over, but this happened in Germany.

31:16 Adam Well, I'll tell you, when the Floridians catch wind of this, there will be a lot of copycat stuff going on.

31:21 Drew I swear it was a US thing.

31:22 Adam Well, maybe it happened here, too.

31:25 Drew It was three beds and the police got it, I heard. All right.

31:28 Adam All right. Well, that's why. Oh, we got a question for Sharon, by the way. Laura? What's happening?

31:36 Nothing. I had a question for Sharon.

31:38 Caller First of all, Sam, I love you. I love yourself.

31:42 Sharon Osbourne Thank you, Laura.

31:43 Caller What is it like living in a house that's totally insane?

31:51 Adam The house is crazy.

31:52 Sharon Osbourne Do you know what, Laura? I don't know how to live any other way. I've been doing it so long. I don't know. And I don't think we're insane. I think we're normal because that's the way I've always lived. So to me, it's normal.

32:11 Drew I love it.

32:14 Sharon Osbourne Thank you very much.

32:15 Drew That is always Adam and Sharon's point, is that Ozzy was working class stiff, right? Or lived in that kind of neighborhood and made good. And he's sort of every man with success.

32:28 Sharon Osbourne He is. And it's never changed him. I mean, he doesn't pretend to be something he's not. And he's very working class. And that's what I admire about him. And a lot of people who who make a success for themselves and also come into money think that they have to behave in a certain way. And he never has.

32:48 Adam No, he never has. Is he is he? He seems simple. I mean, it seems like when he's not working, he wants to putter about the house, watch his shows, get his exercise in, eat his food, and that he's doesn't seem like a task master around the house.

33:08 Sharon Osbourne He really isn't. And he's not an extravagant man. And he's not looking to go out and socialize and be seen in the right places and whatever. He's a very simple working class man.

33:21 Adam What would you say are his hobbies? If not, you know, touring, you know, performing, eliminate that. We'll just call that work, recording, all that stuff. What hobbies? Is there a sport he has?

33:35 Sharon Osbourne No, he's not into sports at all, but he loves his painting and he loves history.

33:41 Adam Oh, really?

33:42 Sharon Osbourne Yeah.

33:43 Drew He's particular kind of history.

33:45 Sharon Osbourne Yeah. He's obsessed with first and second World War.

33:49 Adam Smart man.

33:49 Sharon Osbourne Yeah. Yeah.

33:51 Adam He saw a whole thing on the History Channel tonight about human missiles, you know, kamikazes, and then the Germans, you know. The manned stuff. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We can't judge. Both great cultures, fantastic cultures. But they were willing to make human missiles out of, you know, their people. We never did that over here, but we can't judge. We cannot judge. We can't judge. Let me just say this real quickly. Following that was a little something on the Baton Death March and building, you know, the bridge over the River Kwai or whatever. And it's basically it's like this. One out every three English prisoners died. And like one out every four Australian prisoners died. And these are the Japanese basically labor camps. 50-50 with the Asian culture, you know, Chinese or whoever else they'd captured, half of them died. And it's just no medical, no nutrition at all, just constant beatings and tortures. And basically worked malnourished prisoners until they died. And then they just burned, it was a constant fire of bodies. They're just constantly burning bodies. Great culture, we can't judge. We're just as bad as they are, really? That's it? They're allowed to just work everyone to death until they die and they're fine. We're cool with them. And then we are prisoners, we don't do that too, but we're just as bad. We're just the same. We can't judge. Really? Don't you think you can judge by how a culture treats or how a country treats their prisoners of war during war time? Isn't that a pretty good way to judge?

35:32 Sharon Osbourne You should talk to Ozzie about this. Ozzie always says he's very, very wary of the Japanese because he says now they bow and they're all over polite and he says that, you know, you cannot trust them.

35:44 Adam Poise for a comeback.

35:46 Sharon Osbourne He's very wary of the Japanese and, you know, of course a lot of Europeans, he's very wary of them.

35:53 Adam Yeah. Good. Smart. He knows what it's like. I'm just saying we can't judge. They just would work people until they died. That's all. That's all. Just work them till they fell over and just burn their bodies. Right? Were we doing a lot of that? No.

36:10 Drew We're going to get a bunch of people calling now. We incinerated a hundred thousand in Nagasaki.

36:14 Adam Stop. Okay.

36:15 No, they're not going to say that.

36:16 Drew Yes, we will.

36:19 Adam Oh, no, they won't. Listen. First off.

36:21 Okay.

36:22 Adam Don't. Okay. Here's the thing. They would have done that to us in a second. And listen. Here's the deal, everybody. Hey. Don't go. Don't go find the biggest guy in your school. Run up behind him and sock him in the back of the head and run. If you don't think he's going to come after you and kick your ass one day by any means possible. That's what he did. Yeah. You F around. You get burnt. That's how it goes. You hear that, countries? You don't F around because when you do, we come back and we kick your ass. Number one. Number two, these guys were ready to just start human waving stuff. I mean, it would have been millions and millions dead. I mean, what we went through just in the Japanese islands, just trying to get an air base close enough to drop the atomic bomb on those guys, hundreds of thousands of people dying in the human waves and guys fighting in caves never coming out. Where nothing. What? Did those guys have to wear diapers when they fought all the time? They're every guy's in a diaper. I was just wondering, don't you got any shorts? Where did this come from? They fight in a diaper.

37:19 Drew Just let it go.

37:20 Adam They just see Ozzy will back me up. Every time they're pulling them out of one of those caves on Okinawa, they're in a diaper. Here's the point.

37:28 Drew Primitive man, surviving in the wilderness.

37:29 Adam Here's the point. They were going to tell their people that the Americans were just bloodthirsty savages that were going to rape and pillage and everything and everyone would grab a pitchfork and fight to the death. It would have been millions killed. As it is, 50,000 here. That's pretty light compared to what it would have been. All right, all right, and?

37:49 Drew Jordan, the country of Jordan almost lost 80,000. You hear about this terrorist attack they thwarted?

37:56 Adam What happened?

37:57 Drew We'll talk about it during the break.

37:58 Adam True.

37:59 Drew All right. They thought they were going to have 140,000 injuries and 80,000 deaths in an attack they just thwarted.

38:06 Adam Really? Sharon Osbourne here. Want to talk history? We'll take a quick break. In a diaper they fought.

38:12 Sharon Osbourne In a diaper.

38:13 Adam We'll be right back after this.

38:15 Drew Hello. This is your radio.

38:21 Adam You know, Drew, smelling good is more than a smell, it's an attitude.

38:26 Drew It's true, Adam.

38:27 Adam It is?

38:28 Drew I know how to get that attitude, too.

38:29 Adam How?

38:31 Drew Axe, deodorant, body spray.

38:36 Adam It's the Love Line, I'm Adam. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Sharon Osbourne is here tonight. Let me say this, Drew always tells me genetic diversity, that's the strength, you know? It's, you know, when you take a black guy and a white chick and you get them together, it's a whole different kind of movie, too. It's called, I can't remember the call, it's like a hot chocolate thing or something. But the point is, that kid, that's what you need. You need the diversity.

39:10 Drew Right.

39:10 Adam And I was thinking, you know what makes this country great? We're all mutts.

39:14 Drew Yeah, yeah.

39:14 Adam See? And whenever they see, you know, you watch these World War II because Sharon got me going here with Ozzy since we were watching the History Channel. I wouldn't mind come by, me and Ozzy, sit around and watch the History Channel together.

39:25 Sharon Osbourne Oh, you would have a blast, let me tell you.

39:28 Adam Yeah, because I know, you got the young kids, they don't want to sit around with dad and watch the History Channel, but the Ace man, I'll come right over there, I'll sit right down on that sofa and we'll move.

39:37 Drew Oh, right.

39:38 Sharon Osbourne I will tell him.

39:39 You want to stop talking though, either.

39:42 Adam How dare you, Anderson.

39:43 Drew Springs are growing into your touch. Yeah.

39:45 Adam Yeah. I will, I become part of the sofa.

39:47 Sharon Osbourne Yeah. So you don't think that the Aryan race is interesting, Adam?

39:52 Adam I find it, I find it fascinating, but think about it. That is like the French poodle that dies at seven years old, whereas America is like that mutt that goes on until 16, 17 years old, you know what I'm saying?

40:05 Sharon Osbourne Well, mutts are much more interesting.

40:07 Adam And it's stronger. And it's, you know, think about what this country, you know, when you go to battle with this country, you go battle with the best from all the countries. You got to think about it that way. Yes?

40:19 Drew Yeah. Well, what's that? You're certainly battling, you're not battling just white folks, you know what I mean?

40:26 Adam Well, hey, listen, you, you, you, your crowds want to kick the Jews out? Fine, we'll get them over here. We'll make a rocket. I mean, that's how it works, right? Bring them on. Come on. We'll take all the, take all the smart ones, the strong ones, bring them all over here and then we'll get them together and we'll come back and kick your ass and think about it. That's what's going on. Genetic diversity, Drew, that's what you're talking about. Well, don't you think that would hold true for countries?

40:55 Drew Absolutely. No, no, no, I am a disgruntled.

40:57 Adam Quiet down. Nikki?

41:01 Drew Nikki?

41:03 Caller Hello?

41:03 Adam Day 19? What's up?

41:09 Caller I'd say probably about like October, I got diagnosed with genital herpes. OK. My boyfriend had gone down on me when he said that he thought he had a cold sore. I didn't see anything, so I thought it would be OK, and after that, I had a breakout. And since then, nothing happened to me. It's like I haven't had another breakout since then. And I was talking to my aunt about it, and she gets frequent. And she told me that the same situation happened with her and her husband, that she had gone down on him.

41:47 Drew You're talking to your aunt?

41:51 Adam Let me say this. Aunts get into some pretty heavy ass with their nieces, not their nephews.

41:57 Drew Thanks to my wife has no sisters.

42:01 Adam Oh, yeah, it's always the crazy horny one who's like pull them aside and start talking to them about finger finger in an oral. I'm telling you, it's going to happen, Drew.

42:15 Caller Well, she told me that she had gone down on him and he also had a breakout from it.

42:21 Drew An oral.

42:21 Caller Pardon me?

42:23 Drew She had a breakout in her mouth?

42:25 Caller Yeah, she had a breakout in her mouth and she had gone down on him. And he ended up getting a genital breakout, too.

42:31 Adam You know your uncle Stan? Oh my God. Oh my God. Stan, come here. Come here. Stan, tell them what happened. Oh my God. I would just light myself on fire like a Buddhist protesting the war. If any of my family begins to even start talking about anything below the waist, I would run out screaming.

42:53 Drew So, Nikki, and so she mentioned this to you, and?

42:57 Caller And I guess the doctor had told him that he's never going to get it again because it was a different form of genital herpes.

43:09 Drew All genital herpes is, tends to be recurrent. Some people get lucky and the recurrences are very rare and they sort of burn themselves out rather readily.

43:17 Adam No doctor ever says you'll never going to get this again either, ever.

43:21 Drew No way.

43:21 Adam About anything.

43:22 Drew Yeah. No way he could have said that if it were herpes. In fact, if it doesn't recur, the diagnosis is highly questionable.

43:31 Adam Yeah. Then she told her about anal warts. One time her and, you know, they were going back door.

43:40 Drew That's your aunt again?

43:41 Adam Yeah, aunt again.

43:42 Drew That's Dan.

43:44 Adam You know, you stand out by the barbecue, you've had a couple of wine coolers, you loosen up. Let's start talking. It's family. All right, Nikki. How old is your aunt? She older than you? Yeah. Sometimes you get these aunts where they're almost the same age as the kid and then that's a weird one. And is she still together with your uncle? Yeah. Do you guys consider yourselves white trash? No. No. Well, they never do. Okay, baby doll. Well, what should you do? I don't have an answer. She was telling me so much about her family.

44:22 Drew I don't know what was going on.

44:24 Adam She got herpes or something.

44:24 Drew Yes, she got herpes. Yes.

44:26 Adam That's it.

44:28 Drew She should consider herself infectious. She can reduce that risk by taking medication every day if she wants to, practice safe sex, condoms. Yeah.

44:37 Adam But what do they take the medication every day so she doesn't have a breakout?

44:41 Drew It reduces the risk of viral shedding.

44:43 Adam All right. Anything new? I haven't seen any new commercials where the chicks are kickboxing and they're... No. Whenever I see it, you know, there are these commercials where the chicks doing their own thing. It's always something. Vagina has been liberated now. Something. It's like she's kickboxing. She's out on a date. And they never tell you what it is.

45:02 Sharon Osbourne Riding horses.

45:03 Adam Yeah. Like women must know what it is because I'm always watching. It's a special code. What's going on? What is this chick doing?

45:09 Sharon Osbourne Freedom.

45:10 Adam Yeah. Yeah. It's always got something to do with the vagina when they're, when they've been liberated that way. All right.

45:18 Caller Let's, uh, huh?

45:20 Adam Was, uh, five, uh, abuse relationship?

45:21 Drew We're going to take a break.

45:22 Adam No?

45:23 Drew Yeah. Break.

45:23 Adam All right. Who are we going to talk to when we come back? Janice?

45:26 Drew We'll see.

45:26 Adam We'll see. Drew doesn't like Janice. Danielle?

45:29 Drew Janice is all right. Janice is the best thing that's up there right now.

45:31 Adam What about Danielle with her crazy, zealot, religious folks there? Homeschooled. Uh-uh. That is child abuse. You get those crazy religious parents and you kick it out. She said St. Louis. St. Louis. We'll take a quick break. Sharon Osbourne's here. We'll be right back.

45:48 Alright guys, here's the deal. Looking to hook up?

45:50 Caller Call the Dateline.

45:51 Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

45:53 Caller Call the Dateline.

45:54 One call is all you need to make.

45:55 Caller Call the Dateline. 1-877-889-DATE You know what I'm saying, I'm Dan? This hour.

46:32 Adam Love Live, Ask Ron Atlaw on Radio North America. The Queen of Diagnosis is up. God bless you, welcome to the show there, Sharon. He's gonna be back in full force coming out of the theater. Sharon Osbourne, Foxy Lady, I tell you what, hair is looking good. Say hi to the Asband woman. That's one of those DJ BS, DJ moves, you know, it's like Ozzy Osbourne has no idea who you are. Tell the Asband, the Ace man says what's up. He tells you he still owes me a six. Alright, hey Drew, when are we gonna get a phone? 724-24, after 7 o'clock. I always love it when they say hi about people, obviously. Say, tell Ozzy, the Ace man said hi, and then any other cool people you run into. Tell the Ace man said hi.

47:46 Drew He'll do it.

47:46 Adam 722-22 after 7 o'clock. We're gonna have a phone, see what everybody's saying? Sharon's got a little DVD coming out, of my Osbournes. You know what I gotta tell you, about the Osbournes over there? Sharon comes up, Sharon's like, Why does it go with Os? Jack's like, Oh, it was. And Os is like, How about it? Sharon Osbourne hanging in the studio, till the Os man, Ace man says hi. Come on, bring some of them burritos, watch a history channel again. I was over at the Osborne home just a couple of weeks back. Well, it seems like it was the last Christmas time.

48:40 It was the Jack man.

48:42 Adam Shoot a little something in the Osborne kitchen. I think it was a good time. They're funny. Had to see it, had to be there. I'll tell you what. 722-22 after 7 o'clock. Sharon Osbourne and the studio and I were going to hop back on the phones. We got Danielle out there. Sharon's going to be going heading back over the pond, over the English Way over there. There's some TV shows over there. We got Osbourne DVDs coming out. Coming out, this is May 4th is coming out. And you catch more of Osbourne. Tell Isaiah, say hi. Well, he'll know who I'm talking about. Ask him if he remembers Reno. He'll know what I'm talking about. What, it's going to be coming out of Kimmel next week? Hey, if you see Kimmel, tell the Ace man, say hi. Hey, if you see your husband and Kimmel, tell the Ace man, say hi. And hi. Okay? So, you're going to be on Kimmel, you're going to be on Leno Wednesday. Tell Leno Ace man, say hi.

49:36 Drew Is this all promotion for the DVD?

49:38 Sharon Osbourne Yes, it is, yeah.

49:40 Adam Oh, okay. Drew thinks he's on The Wave.

49:48 Drew I never think of that, I never mistake this for The Wave.

49:55 Adam Alright, let's go. Drew, you ready? Do your DJ, do a classical DJ. Come on, you must know some Chopin or something like that. Come on.

50:06 Drew I can't think of how they do it.

50:08 Adam They speak in very hushed tones.

50:12 Sharon Osbourne I'm still waiting to hear the lady from St. Louis.

50:15 Drew That's who's coming up.

50:17 Adam Danielle.

50:17 Hello.

50:18 Sharon Osbourne Yes.

50:18 Are you 14?

50:18 Thank you, Sharon, for reminding them.

50:20 Um, I...

50:22 Drew Damn, how dare you.

50:30 Adam Japanese stories...

50:43 That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard on radio.

50:46 Adam What is, what? Alright, go ahead, baby doll.

50:48 Hey, um, yeah. Um, I'm having a lot of trouble with my family lately just because about a year ago my dad lost his job. And I've always been really depressed and a couple years ago I left school and became home-schooled because I was suicidal. my family's always been very religious.

51:10 Drew Wait, they brought you home because you were suicidal?

51:19 I was constantly getting hurt and...

51:23 Adam When do you mean getting hurt?

51:25 I'm clumsy and I have just a tendency to fall down the stairs.

51:32 Adam Really?

51:33 I was really stressed out and having a lot of trouble.

51:36 Drew Why?

51:37 Just home issues, piled on to school issues, piled on...

51:41 Drew Yeah, okay, here's the deal. This is our point. The real source of the trouble was at home. And so them pulling you home just must have intensified things.

51:50 Caller Well, I really hated school.

51:53 Drew I'm sure. That doesn't mean it wouldn't be a better place for you.

51:56 Caller At the time, I considered it better that I was going home.

52:01 Drew What was going on at home at the time?

52:02 Caller I was learning nothing at school.

52:04 Drew What was going on at home at the time?

52:06 Caller At the time, it's always been very hectic around my house.

52:10 Drew Did you feel that somehow you needed to be home to keep things kind of together at home?

52:16 Caller I needed just time to recoup. I was on the pushing edge. I couldn't take much more of anything at the moment. At the moment.

52:27 Adam Alright, so the question now is you're home and you're being homeschooled?

52:33 Caller Yeah, which I do like very much. Because I make a lot of friends and they're better influences than the types of people I met at normal school.

52:42 Adam Sure, your friends, what come in that animal crackers box.

52:46 Drew You talk to all the little friends.

52:48 Adam You have your friends.

52:49 Drew Yeah, and you talk to them.

52:52 Caller I have normal friends. In fact, I have friends that are gays or potheads or whatever.

52:56 Adam Really? Mom brings them in during career day?

53:01 Caller I have friends that are hardcore Christian punk group. Now that's cool.

53:06 Adam Yeah, alright.

53:08 Caller Awesome people.

53:09 Adam Okay, so what's up? You're doing okay? You're at home? You're doing homeschooling?

53:14 Caller My dad left to move and I was suicidal a couple years ago and I've changed a lot and I have more friends now. I had one friend at the time.

53:23 Adam Where does he want to move?

53:27 Caller Up to a small town in Michigan.

53:30 Drew Why does he want to move there?

53:31 Caller To start a ministry. He wants to start a Bible college.

53:39 Adam Drew, hold on a second. Drew, quick question. When you're home, Sharon too, when you're homeschooled and you move, do you have to actually move the living room with you? Do you have to take the class or wherever you land becomes your new school? I'm unclear on that.

53:53 Drew You have to bring the home school.

53:56 Adam Yeah, it must be nice though because everybody I talk to, whenever they talk about moving, it's all about the school district and the kids and why they're going to move. The schools are crappy here, but when you're homeschooling, that's it.

54:07 Drew So the bottom line is he's leaving for kind of goofy reasons and she doesn't want to leave the friends she's finally been able to establish. Which is understandable.

54:14 Adam Listen, and how many times have I said it, when are we going to start looking at this sort of religious zealotry as a mental disorder? You know what I mean? We're so busy respecting it, we've got to start looking at it as what it is, which is a mental disorder. You have a personal relationship with some ghost that lives in the sky, I think I'm Napoleon, so I'm nuts. You're perfectly fine. You're going to start preaching the Gospel and move and hit the traveling, hit the road show and everything. Somehow we're supposed to look up to that or respect that? You're just as nutty as anybody else. You screw balls with your crazy religion. And now what you're doing is you're abusing your child. You really are.

54:54 Sharon Osbourne Why can't you do this in St. Louis? Why do you have to go to Michigan?

54:58 Drew Or why can't you wait a little while?

54:59 Adam He probably has a bunch of warrants in St. Louis.

55:03 Drew Why don't you graduate? What kind of work was he doing? What kind of work was he doing?

55:09 Caller He was a computer engineer. He was laid off.

55:11 Drew How does he plan to establish this school?

55:14 Caller I have a large number of siblings. How many? Five younger brothers. We cannot afford to stay here. He lives in a nice house, an expensive house in the suburbs.

55:30 Adam Hey, Danielle.

55:32 Caller Look.

55:33 Adam Just quiet and listen to me. You're 14, baby doll. You sound like just the world's tensest housewife at 14.

55:42 Drew Maybe she can graduate early from home school. From college.

55:46 That's actually possible.

55:47 Adam How about you sneak in your mom's closet and steal your diploma and get out at 14?

55:52 Caller I have to finish four courses in each subject.

55:57 Drew But once you really work your tail off and get it all done as fast as you can and get out of there to school.

56:02 Caller True, I could do that, but then I'd have to go to college.

56:04 Drew Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

56:05 Caller The thing is, I have recovered from a severe depression because I've found new friends, which I never had. I was never popular.

56:16 Drew But Danielle, you've made it clear no matter what you're moving. It's impossible to stay where you are because a financial situation makes it impossible.

56:24 Adam What about staying behind? This happens a lot. It does. A surprising amount. She moves in with one of her friends.

56:32 Caller I don't have one that will take me in. I don't have any good friends, really.

56:36 Adam Well, then what do you want me to do?

56:37 Drew You don't have any good friends. You just finished telling us you have these great friends you can't withstand leaving.

56:41 Caller I have more friends than I've ever had in my life.

56:45 Adam Does one of them have a futon in their garage?

56:48 Caller What?

56:50 Adam Listen, I don't like Danielle because she's angry as hell.

56:53 Drew You can't blame her, though.

56:54 Adam She's got this horrible, abusive... Okay, here's all I'm saying. First off, hey, Danielle, there's nothing you can do. I'm sorry. You got a bad hand out to you.

57:03 Caller Your dad's a nut bar.

57:07 Adam And when are we going to start attacking religion and making fun of it?

57:10 Drew Well, you started, so...

57:11 Adam I've been going, doing this goddamn thing for years, and no one will listen to me. We have to be so respectful. Oh, no, the Muslims, they're great. They're wonderful people. Everything's great. Everything's wonderful. We always... Such reverence. Oh, hey, here's a man I respect. He follows his faith. He's a weak nut jobs. Look, have your faith. Fine. Shut up about it. I don't want to know what you are. Wacky Jehovah's and screwed up born agains and a crazy hasidim.

57:39 Sharon Osbourne I don't understand what she was saying. Her father's a minister, but he was a computer operator. How do you become a minister?

57:46 Adam Oh, let's see. You can do it over the internet.

57:48 Sharon Osbourne Can you?

57:49 Drew Oh, yeah.

57:49 Adam And I'll tell you why. I probably got S-CAN because the guys at work are tired of him sharing the good news and speaking in tongues.

57:58 Drew But the point is, they're leaving St. Louis no matter what. They can't afford to stay there. She needs to come to terms with that. She needs to graduate from the home school as fast as possible to go off to college. That's it. Period.

58:06 Adam Danielle is...

58:08 Drew She's spinning. Her thing is... Look, I said... She goes, well, then I'll have to go off to college. That's right. You go off to college. Well, I can't leave my friends. We'll stay back with the friends. Well, I don't have any good friends. Well, it's just spinning.

58:17 Adam And then you said, I thought you didn't have any friends. You said, I have 50 friends.

58:20 Drew So look, you've had the best group of friends you've had so far. You will find another group of friends where you're going. It's painful. It's traumatic. Yes. But it's reality. You have to do it.

58:29 Sharon Osbourne At 14, you think that that's all that's important.

58:34 Adam Oh, I would hire a drifter to kill my dad. That's what I would do.

58:39 Drew And you've tried that a number of times.

58:41 Adam You're going to heaven, Pops. What are you worried about? You're just sitting there hanging out with the Lord. The streets are paved with gold. Yeah, go ahead. That makes perfect sense.

58:49 Caller You got a VIP pass.

58:51 Adam You'll be living in his mansion. It'll be great. You'll be reunited with your dog from the sixth grade. It'll be great. Perfect sense. Perfect sense. No one can say anything about this bizarre fantasy we've whipped up. No, such reverence. Oh, he's a man of deep faith. Oh, hi, I preach out of the presence. No, he's seeking counsel with us. He's always here. He's here. Picture him coming out of church. Really? Nobody stops and questions and says anything? What percentage of people really buy this? Do we really? I don't really think that many people do, and I'll tell you how I know, because they get so pissed off when you tell them about it. If you have your deep faith, fine, just take it with you and shut up. But if someone brings it up, they get all violent about it.

59:30 Drew People feel like you're attacking their family. Well, they're idiots.

59:35 Adam Let's face it, her dad is mentally unstable. Why can't we just look at it as that? Why do we have to respect it? You hear voices. If you hear voices, you got a problem. But if you hear the voice of God, you're fine. Really? Are you just some grandiose idiot who's got a mental disability? It's just grandiosity, Drew. That's all it is. Janice? As an atheist, I'm just tired of having to be reverent to everybody and go along with everything.

1:00:08 Drew I'm working on a new book. In this next book, I'm trying to figure out what the common threads are of people's spiritual experiences in recovery and losing weight and thinking what gets people to do that. Is there a common thread? I know in addiction, certainly in spirituality, it becomes a key part of that. What are the common experiences in that?

1:00:25 Adam Be spiritual. Just shut up. Shut up. I don't want to know what you are. I don't want to know what you are.

1:00:32 Sharon Osbourne It's a personal thing.

1:00:35 Adam That's right. Keep it all inside, everybody. Keep it all inside. Stupid. Then they start getting into these Muslim religions. This whole thing is a mess. People are all idiots. It's laughable. Janice? Yeah. What's up?

1:00:54 Drew Are you a Mormon?

1:00:55 Caller I'm a Jew.

1:00:58 Adam One, two from Anderson.

1:01:00 Caller I'm 25. I have one child.

1:01:03 Adam One quick thing. Real fast. What's going on over there in Israel? West Bank and Gaza Strip and all. They are going to have that worked out just a couple of days. What day is it, Drew? Is it Monday?

1:01:17 Sharon Osbourne It should be done by Friday.

1:01:19 Adam Yeah, by the weekend. I mean, I think by Saturday we'll be in full swing. So I'm saying we'll be putting the finishing touches on it Friday late afternoon. Of course. Just a couple of days. I mean, it's just, we got to be coming to the end of it, right? I mean, it's just a couple, right? Maybe Wednesday. Sure, right? You guys are, everything's cool. You guys are sane. You don't really want any trouble. Great respect. Great respect for both groups. Great respect. Janice? Yeah, they get off. They're just, they're just dotting the I's and crossing the T's this weekend for sure.

1:01:51 Drew Janice, 25.

1:01:52 Caller Yes.

1:01:53 Drew Hey, what's up?

1:01:55 Caller I'm 25. I have one child. I'm just finishing up my law degree. I was in an abusive relationship with a man who was 10 years older. I've been out of it for about a year and a half. In the relationship, I was called names and verbally abused a lot. It started turning physical right at the end. I wasn't hit that much just as the relationship was ending and I got out of it. I got out of it through prayer. Sorry, Adam, but God is real. Well, look, just hold on.

1:02:29 Adam Rubber rock. Why do I care?

1:02:30 Caller Okay. God brought someone into my life that was able to get me out of it. My question is...

1:02:36 Adam Why did he let the guy beat on you?

1:02:41 Caller I wasn't hit that much.

1:02:43 Adam Alright, so God said, just give Janice a light beating. Don't teach her a real lesson. No, I know. God said, look, work the midsection a little. Hit her with an open hand, but not a close one.

1:02:58 Caller I got out of it as soon as I turned around and started praying.

1:03:01 Adam By the way, you're going to law school.

1:03:02 Caller What do you think, Adam? Do you think you created yourself? Are you just a body?

1:03:06 Adam How do you think your dog got here?

1:03:09 Caller Answer my question.

1:03:13 Adam It's just a biological organism. It just gets created.

1:03:18 Caller I'm going to make two points and then I want to hear from Dr. Drew.

1:03:21 Adam First off, you're not in law school. You're way too stupid.

1:03:24 Caller You're not.

1:03:25 OK. OK, two points.

1:03:31 Caller First of all, for anyone else who's considering suicide, I've been suicidal. I'm not anymore. If you kill yourself, you take the pain with you because it's your spirit that's in pain, not the body.

1:03:43 Adam You go to hell.

1:03:44 Caller Suicide doesn't solve the problem.

1:03:45 Adam Yeah, you go to hell. But if you're Muslim, then you go to heaven. So, you know, you got to figure it out.

1:03:50 Caller I'm just saying, as a spirit, it's your spirit that's in pain when you're suicidal, not the body. So if you kill the body, you're going to take that pain with you. You got to heal it while you're here, while you have the chance.

1:03:58 Adam Yeah, because everyone's a spirit.

1:04:00 Caller The question I have for Dr. Drew is, as I'm reflecting back on that relationship, I'm having a hard time understanding how I got in it and why I stayed the long.

1:04:08 Adam Well, God was testing you.

1:04:11 Drew Well, let's just talk about depression for a second. Depression is a biological process in your brain that can be reversed with medication. So that needs to be treated. And if you have severe depression, that needs to be dealt with, okay?

1:04:26 Adam I don't anymore.

1:04:27 Drew Number two, people that get involved in abusive relationships, there's a number of ways that people find themselves into that. Usually they're trauma survivors themselves. And they find somebody that they feel is sort of strong and a protector. But that person usually is also the one with the capability of being an abuser. And eventually you reenact the abuse of the past. Our brains are configured in such a way that when we're traumatized, we go back out into the world and recreate the trauma over and over again. It's a biological process.

1:04:56 Adam I'll tell you how God planned it. If your dad raped you when you're five, then you get raped as an adult. That was God's plan. It's interesting.

1:05:04 Drew Whatever.

1:05:05 Adam Well, it's God's plan, obviously. We just can't question it. He had a plan. He calls it the rape plan. So you got to look into it.

1:05:13 Drew Anyway, so what happened?

1:05:14 Adam He has a plan.

1:05:14 Drew What happened to you, Jazz, growing up?

1:05:17 Caller My dad died when I was eight.

1:05:21 Drew Was he an alcoholic? No.

1:05:24 Adam Why did he kill himself?

1:05:27 Caller I don't know.

1:05:30 Drew And was he with your mom at the time? I mean, were they together?

1:05:33 Caller No, they got divorced.

1:05:34 Drew And why did they get divorced? Why don't you look into all that? I think you'll find your answers about why you got in an abusive relationship. I think you'll find your dad was abusive. I think you'll find he was an alcoholic. And there you go. That'll be your answers to why, why, why. The amazing thing about the human is that things that happened to us early have an extraordinarily disproportionate influence on everything else that is to follow. It leaves an imprint on our biology that we cannot naturally get or find our way out of without treatment.

1:06:09 Adam You gotta pray.

1:06:10 Drew Treatment. You gotta get therapy.

1:06:13 Adam Alright, pray for therapy. That's a compromise, yes?

1:06:18 Drew Prayer can't be useful in these things. Sure. They can't be actually.

1:06:21 Adam I'll listen.

1:06:22 Drew Whatever it is, Adam, it can be useful.

1:06:23 Adam Absolutely. I'm not, I mean, focus on something and do it. Yeah, Jehovah, I'm not Jehovah, it's the, who's who the?

1:06:30 Drew Buddhists.

1:06:31 Adam Yeah, Buddhists. They're smart. They chant on stuff.

1:06:35 Caller Hey Adam, get to work on that GED, okay? Get to work on that GED, okay Adam?

1:06:42 Adam I wonder where she's going to, she's not going to law school, by the way.

1:06:47 Caller You're working on your GED, tell the truth.

1:06:50 Adam No?

1:06:51 Caller Keep working on it.

1:06:52 Adam All right, baby doll. Here's the thing. The Buddhists, they're smart, because the Buddhists tell you, look, you want a color TV set, you just chant on it. You just chant, you want a car, you want a new job, you want a wife. Namyo Rengekyo. Namyo Rengekyo. You sit down for an hour every day and you rub and you just sit there and you go, Namyo Rengekyo, Namyo Rengekyo. Yeah, TV. You start thinking about TV. Well yeah, if you sit down and, I mean everyone should do this. Like look, you want a new job? Sit down for an hour every day and focus on getting a new job. You will get a new job that much faster. I guarantee it. The alternative is you never thinking about getting a new job, you're not going to get a new job that fast. Or a TV. Drew, don't you think if you sat down and took a half hour and chanted on getting a new set of tires for your car, it would help? It would help. Right? I'm all for it.

1:07:47 Sharon Osbourne Prayer, too.

1:07:48 Adam I think it helps. All right, Sharon Osbourne is here today, atheist, agnostic, Jew, born again?

1:07:56 Sharon Osbourne I don't know what the hell I am. I'm just me.

1:07:59 Adam That's right. That's right.

1:08:00 Drew Are you a Mormon? True. Do you accept that perhaps for some of these people, some of this is a way of accessing a subconscious, emotional system and maybe even there's a common thread amongst us as humans are tapping into with this?

1:08:15 Adam I'm all fine with everyone's personal spirituality.

1:08:20 Drew Yeah, I just don't want to hear about it.

1:08:21 Adam I don't want to hear about it. I don't like it when the president has to pretend to be religious.

1:08:26 Drew You don't like when there are wars because of it.

1:08:27 Adam I don't like when there are wars because of it and I don't like the fact that we have to respect the hell out of the crazy Jews and the crazy Arabs over there and pretend like everyone's doing something very noble when they're just brainwashed and idiots.

1:08:43 Sharon Osbourne Has there ever been a war that wasn't about religion?

1:08:49 Drew It had no religion and had nothing to do with it?

1:08:51 Adam Well, it's usually evolved.

1:08:53 Drew It's usually the cultural base.

1:08:55 Sharon Osbourne To me, it just seems it's always down to religion.

1:09:00 Adam I just wish everyone could just keep the pie holes shut about the religion and go about their goddamn day. That's all.

1:09:07 Sharon Osbourne It's like whatever makes you happy, do it. Keep your mouth shut.

1:09:11 Adam That's right. Want to go home, talk to your kids about it? Fine. I don't want to know what team you're playing for by your uniform.

1:09:16 Drew Let's go hand-holding and watch World War I films.

1:09:19 Adam Yeah. I like two. Me and the Ozz Man. Hey, you going to see the Ozz Man? Tell the Ace Man.

1:09:28 Sharon Osbourne Ace. I remember Ace.

1:09:31 Adam Reno 97, man. I'll tell you, she owes me a six or a five, Mickey's. All right. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:09:41 Caller Love Line will be right back, so get your problems ready.

1:10:01 Adam Hey, yo, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, Sharon Osbourne in Studio Tonight. The Osbournes DVD is going to be released on May 4th. All right, now-

1:10:16 Drew Is that just the first season, the first two seasons, or?

1:10:19 Sharon Osbourne No, it's got to be like the third, right?

1:10:21 Drew Everything. Oh, it's the third. So there have been two previously released.

1:10:25 Adam I'll tell you, it's quite an industry these days. I mean, you know, TV shows on DVD, it didn't used to exist. It was sort of, well, you get a movie on DVD, but now they're selling, I don't know how many they sold in the first and second season, I'm guessing quite a few units.

1:10:43 Sharon Osbourne Quite a few, yeah, we did good.

1:10:44 Adam And then like, you know, Family Guy was real successful. The Man Show actually sold, not that we've seen any money yet because, you know, why should we? We only created the show.

1:10:54 Sharon Osbourne But- It's in the post.

1:10:56 Adam I'm sure it's coming. I'm sure it's in the mail, but someone told me 200,000 units of the first season.

1:11:03 Drew Good times.

1:11:04 Adam Yeah, good times, Drew. For all the lovely people out there.

1:11:09 All right.

1:11:10 Adam This guy got tasered. I'm gonna talk to the taser guy real fast. Jeff?

1:11:15 What's going on?

1:11:16 Adam You're 22?

1:11:17 Caller Yeah, what's going on, guys?

1:11:19 Adam You got tasered by the cops?

1:11:21 Caller Yeah, I have a question for Dr. Drew. After it happened, I've been a little angry and I've been hearing voices and I haven't been able to sleep after it. Is that from the tasering or?

1:11:32 Drew What do you mean you're hearing voices?

1:11:34 Caller Yeah, I hear things that usually you don't hear out of the ordinary.

1:11:39 Adam Like step out of the car, put the knife down?

1:11:41 Drew Are people saying things to you in these voices? Can you make them out?

1:11:47 Caller It's like mumbling in my ear.

1:11:48 Drew And have you had voices ever before?

1:11:51 Caller Never.

1:11:52 Adam Why did you get tasered by the cops?

1:11:55 Caller Okay, the story is, I was walking from a friend's house. I guess three blocks up the street, the house burned down and they said that I set it on fire because I robbed it. The point was...

1:12:08 Drew Did you rob it?

1:12:09 Caller Oh no, I was on the opposite street, on the opposite side of town, but I happened to be walking on the same street. So they pulled me over or whatever you want to say, they stopped me. And I told them no, I didn't do it. And so there was a little altercation and I'm a big guy, so there was a little wrestling going on there. And so they shot me about four times with the gun.

1:12:36 Drew Why did you get into it? Why did you mix it up with the cops? Why didn't you just say, I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't do it.

1:12:41 Caller I did, but they automatically put hands on me.

1:12:45 Drew Well, let them do it, whatever, who cares? You didn't do it.

1:12:49 Caller Point is, it's already too late for that anyway.

1:12:51 Drew But the point is, were you on drugs or something?

1:12:54 Adam We can't live in the past.

1:12:57 Drew Maybe if you prayed about it.

1:13:00 Adam And what kind of tays are the ones with the wires that are attached to it, the barbs on it?

1:13:04 Caller Yeah.

1:13:05 Adam Yeah, I've been hit with one of those too. Well, not hit, but I had one tested out on me. It's freaky deaky, man.

1:13:13 Drew Really?

1:13:13 Adam It's weird.

1:13:14 Drew Puts you down.

1:13:15 Adam If it doesn't put you down, you'd like to go down.

1:13:20 Sharon Osbourne Did you hear voices afterwards too?

1:13:22 Adam No.

1:13:24 Drew Did you have trouble sleeping afterwards?

1:13:26 Adam No, I've had trouble sleeping before.

1:13:28 Drew I would be more thinking in terms of just having been an intense experience and that sort of stirred you up.

1:13:33 Adam Yeah.

1:13:33 Drew Were you on drugs or anything where this happened?

1:13:35 Caller Oh, no, I was clean.

1:13:37 Drew Do you take drugs?

1:13:41 Adam What's the part, though? Alright, so listen.

1:13:45 Drew You've never taken drugs?

1:13:46 Caller Well, I was young, you know.

1:13:49 Adam Alright, are you doing okay now, Jeff, or what's going on?

1:13:53 Caller I'm just asking if it can go away or what's going on with it.

1:13:57 Adam Well, let's just assume it's going to go away for now.

1:13:59 Drew Well, if it's related to the Taser, but I'm not sure it is.

1:14:02 Adam Are you working?

1:14:04 Caller Yeah, of course. I'm out of work right now.

1:14:07 Adam Sorry, buddy. What are you doing?

1:14:09 Caller Security.

1:14:10 Adam Alright, buddy. It's always funny that security are the guys most likely to get Taser when they're not doing security. Alright, listen, Jeff, here's the whole thing. Everybody, with the cops. You know, when they tell you to do whatever they tell you to do.

1:14:24 Drew Do it.

1:14:25 Adam Drew and I were talking about this here today. Drew, you get pulled over. You put your hands on the wheel, ten and two, right?

1:14:31 Drew That's right.

1:14:32 Adam And if they tell you to get out of the car, what do you do?

1:14:34 Drew I immediately get out of the car. With the wheel. With the wheel. I'm on my hands.

1:14:37 Adam That's the thing. I will actually shove my ass out of the window and pull the wheel off with me.

1:14:44 Drew Or what I did, I shoved my ass up there and put my legs out and kept my hands on the wheel.

1:14:49 Adam Yeah, inside of the vehicle. That's it. You put, yes sir, no sir. I'm going. My, you know, my whole, my, you know, they tell you like they went in your lice. You know, if you're going for the glove box, you got to tell me. You can't, don't screw with them.

1:15:04 Drew You got to, you got to see it through their eyes. They walk up to some guy's car.

1:15:07 Adam That's my favorite. That's my favorite part. Like about the show cops, when the guys are out on the sidewalk, the perps on the lawn, he's in his boxer shorts and a wife beater and slippers. He's, they're yelling repeatedly, stop. And the guy keeps moving forward, waving his arms around. You know what I mean? It's like, really? Then you get shot, then the community protests. How about we just stop this whole thing by you stopping when the cops tell you to stop? You know, cop pulls you over, says you did something. Talk to them, ask for an attorney perhaps. Those are wrestling with them. Is it really? By the way, wrestling the cop, slightly higher percentage of working out than the, I'm going to outrun the cop. And by the way, the outrun the cop stuff only works when you're on, you know, in the hills of Kentucky, you can shut your lights off kind of stuff. You know, I mean, you got to hear banjo music. When you start hearing like that beatbox music, you can't. You got to hear.

1:16:05 Drew Outside, outside your car. You hear this.

1:16:09 Adam You outrun the cop. As a matter of fact, I'm going to sell a tape for people who want to outrun the cops. It's just this kind of banjo music.

1:16:16 Drew It has to be outside your car though.

1:16:19 Adam I think you'll hear it. No, no, you pump it in. No, you hear that, you're going to outrun the cop. But you started hearing that beatbox stuff and now we got helicopters and spike strips. Yeah, you hear this? You ain't making it. And this is what you're hearing in Los Angeles, you see. Play the banjo again, Anderson. Yeah, now you're going to make it. You shut your lights, you go up the old Cougar Farm Road there. He goes past and you double back and go the other way.

1:16:47 Drew Jump over the pond.

1:16:48 Adam The bridge is out, you got to jump it. That's right. No, you don't. You jump in your car, Anderson. You don't run out of the car. That's banjo music for outrunning the cops.

1:17:02 Drew It's good.

1:17:03 Adam Yeah.

1:17:04 Drew But still, there's something wrong that he's hearing voices and that he fights the cops and he may need to get this evaluated. Something is wrong. And I don't think it's the Taser.

1:17:13 Adam Let me say one other thing about these cops. And now they pass this stuff where cops can only do these low speed pursuits. You know, so these guys had one the other day. It's a couple of days ago. You guys, you see it as a van was like a white van. It was three hours long. They circumnavigated the entire city. It's basically become like the Pope on a parade route. It's like you're due 11 miles an hour. The cops keep their distance. Everyone gets out of your way. You just drive in a circle. You run out of gas. Eventually, maybe you hit a spike strip or something. The whole idea is, well, let's not provoke these guys. But what happens if you run over somebody three hours after the chase started? As the parent of the kid who gets clipped by this guy 700 miles away in Marin County, because it started out here in LA, but no one would do anything, aren't you kind of pissed? What if you found out this thing started at noon and your kid got out of school at 3.30? That's when he got hit. Then they would just kind of do something when it happens. The idea of sort of following them around very slowly as they serpentine through the valley in the city, is it? Should we just hop on it? This is sort of nip it in the bud a little bit.

1:18:28 Drew Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, I'm with you 100%. But we wouldn't infringe upon their rights.

1:18:34 Adam Yeah. And it's like, well, something bad could happen. Well, couldn't something bad happen in the four hours that the chase is going on? What about something bad happening where there's the entire police force is following one drunk guy and an astro? You know what I mean? He's got a Chevy Astro. We've got the entire police. What about the bad stuff that's happening across town because all the cops and helicopters and everything are following the one drunk guy? Huh?

1:18:59 Caller Uh-huh.

1:19:02 Adam Sharon, you with me?

1:19:03 Sharon Osbourne I don't know why they don't shoot the tires out on the cars or something.

1:19:07 Adam It's all, everything's like, everything is something bad could happen now as opposed to, well, something bad could happen later on. So we'll just put it off. I had a, I live up in the Hollywood Hills area there. It's a very elite area, Drew. And I saw a car, a Speed Chase that went right by my house. And once you go up my street, there's only one way out of the street.

1:19:32 Drew But they didn't block it.

1:19:33 Adam They didn't block it off. They just followed them all the way around this sort of loop. They could have just blocked it off. This thing ended up in Northridge, ended up in Northridge.

1:19:42 Sharon Osbourne Such a waste of time and effort. And it's just ridiculous.

1:19:46 Adam By the way, kid could have got run over in Northridge. They had the stupid thing in Hollywood contained. The guy went from, you know, Hollywood into like Glendale through Northridge, eventually jumped out of the car and like ran into some apartment building. Isn't there potential for bad to happen there? Let's just get the bad over with. Let's do it. I blame the attorneys and the bleeding hearts. Thank you. Question for Sharon.

1:20:14 Drew Joel.

1:20:16 Caller Hey, how's it going you guys? Good.

1:20:17 Drew We're good.

1:20:18 Caller Hi Sharon. Hi, I just like to say that I really enjoy your daytime talk show.

1:20:25 Sharon Osbourne Thank you very much.

1:20:26 Caller Yeah, I used to watch it every morning when I was out of work. You got a good variety of guests going on there. I just really enjoyed the show.

1:20:35 Sharon Osbourne Thank you very much.

1:20:36 Caller I hope Ozzy's doing good.

1:20:40 Sharon Osbourne He's doing a lot better.

1:20:43 Caller What are your plans for the show?

1:20:45 Caller Do you enjoy doing that? Is it something you got into and enjoy doing?

1:20:50 Sharon Osbourne Yeah, very much. I love doing it. I love meeting all different people. And it's been a great experience.

1:20:58 Caller Oh, that's good.

1:21:00 Caller I got a question for Drew.

1:21:02 Adam How do you like doing the show?

1:21:06 Caller I like doing what show?

1:21:08 Adam Loveline? I've gotten a Drew. How do you like doing Loveline, Joel?

1:21:12 Caller I think it's great. Actually, I should be your successor.

1:21:16 Adam Why don't we let you take a call?

1:21:17 Drew Okay, I can do that. Did you have a question first?

1:21:22 Caller Yeah, you said something. You were talking about doing another book.

1:21:27 Drew What's it on? Well, spirituality probably.

1:21:32 Adam Joel, let's have you take over. Because I may not be here. I'm not going to be here forever. I'm going to be honest with you. And we're going to need a successor.

1:21:40 Caller Yeah, I'm pretty funny.

1:21:42 Adam I know. Yeah, I can tell.

1:21:45 Drew Hey, Drew.

1:21:45 Adam This could be your new partner. You better start kissing ass.

1:21:48 Sharon Osbourne Respect here.

1:21:50 Drew No, I'm not going to let this one, I'm not going to let this one get it run out of control like the last one. Yeah. Let me kiss ass.

1:21:55 Adam So how do we do this? We'll put Joel on with Samantha up here.

1:21:59 Drew Let me work on this.

1:21:59 Adam Yeah.

1:22:00 Drew We can't really do that with this system.

1:22:02 Adam We can? I think we've done it before.

1:22:06 Drew Anderson will do it.

1:22:07 Caller Who do you want to put her on with?

1:22:08 Drew Four and one.

1:22:09 Adam Four and one. Joel, you talk to Samantha.

1:22:12 Caller Okay. Is she on right now?

1:22:13 Drew No. Now she.

1:22:14 Oh, we lost Joel.

1:22:16 Drew Hi, Samantha. Good job, Anderson. Well done.

1:22:19 Adam What do you do? Hang up on Joel?

1:22:21 Drew Yeah.

1:22:21 Caller We're working on it.

1:22:21 Adam Hold on.

1:22:22 Drew I think it's still there.

1:22:25 Adam Joel can take over for me.

1:22:26 Drew Joel?

1:22:27 Caller Yeah.

1:22:28 Drew Hold on.

1:22:28 Adam I speak to Samantha.

1:22:29 Drew There she is.

1:22:30 Caller Hello?

1:22:30 Drew Yeah. Hi, Samantha.

1:22:32 Caller Me and my boyfriend had unprotected sex today in the spa, and I'm on the pill. I've been on the pill for like almost a year now, and I was wondering if it was possible if I'm pregnant.

1:22:46 Caller How old are you? You're 18? You guys are having sex in a spa?

1:22:53 Caller Good times.

1:22:55 Caller I guess, uh, Drew, you'd have to field this one. Oh, no.

1:22:59 Adam Come on, Joel.

1:23:02 Caller Oh, man.

1:23:02 Caller I can't really say.

1:23:03 Drew Think of something interesting to say. Because I have something uninteresting to say. What's the question? Can you start being the radio guy?

1:23:15 You got to listen, Joel.

1:23:17 Drew Come on. Hang up on her. Hang up on her. Samantha. Wait, wait.

1:23:21 Adam But it's a laugh of impatience.

1:23:24 Drew Samantha, here's the deal. Your concern is that somehow being in a hot tub would affect the efficacy of the pill?

1:23:31 Caller Well, no, because he came inside me.

1:23:34 Drew Yeah, but you're on the birth control pill.

1:23:36 Adam I know.

1:23:38 Caller But, I know, but I didn't know if, like...

1:23:43 Drew You're on the birth control pill. You're not going to be pregnant on the birth control pill, whether you're standing on your head or whatever. Or in a hot tub.

1:23:50 Sharon Osbourne Even hot water?

1:23:51 Drew Even hot water.

1:23:52 Caller All right.

1:23:54 Drew Well, I don't understand. I'm not sure I can even understand where that question comes from. Were you having sex with him before at all, even though you were on the...

1:24:04 Caller But he had never come inside me before.

1:24:06 Drew What would he do? Why? Why?

1:24:09 Caller I don't know, because he asked.

1:24:11 Drew No, no. Why wouldn't he before?

1:24:13 Caller Oh, just because...

1:24:15 Caller Like, because I didn't want to get pregnant.

1:24:18 Adam He's a gentleman.

1:24:19 Drew You're on the birth control panel.

1:24:19 Caller Oh, where would he blow his load? Oh, where would he blow his load then? Would he pull out and go on you, or are you wearing condoms, or what?

1:24:29 Caller Like a napkin or something?

1:24:35 Sharon Osbourne Samantha, that's romantic.

1:24:38 Drew Yeah, but Samantha, I don't understand why you don't, you're on the birth control panel, but you don't understand how it works or that it works?

1:24:44 Caller Well, cause, well, okay, I missed like two pills, but not like, consecutively.

1:24:50 Drew This particular pack?

1:24:52 Caller Yeah.

1:24:53 Drew Alright, so they're not, it's not going to be quite as effective as it might have been if you'd taken it properly.

1:24:57 Caller Right, and, and I somehow always seem to miss my first pill, like with every pack. Alright, that's annoying.

1:25:07 Adam Alright, listen, Joel had his chance. Joel?

1:25:10 Drew He's on hold.

1:25:11 Adam Good, alright. My job's safe. And, and by the way, you want to take my job, you're going to have to learn to do a little something I like to call, 7-22, that's 22 after 7, that's 38, away from the top of the hour straight up. Sharon Osbourne, hanging in there. Sharon, you go home to the Oz Man, tell him the Ace Man said hey. Tell the Ace Man said hey. Tell you what, Drew.

1:25:38 Drew Yeah.

1:25:39 Adam I could tell you what me and the Oz Man did, but I have to kill you. This close to drop and drop.

1:25:46 Drew No, no, don't do it.

1:25:48 Caller Tell all of them.

1:25:52 Sharon Osbourne You.

1:27:08 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. Sweet Adam Carolla. Yeah. The lovely Sharon Osbourne is in the studio tonight. We got a question for Sharon. We'll talk to Jeremy, who's 19. Jeremy?

1:27:29 Caller Hey, what's up, man?

1:27:30 Adam What's up?

1:27:31 Caller Hey, I got a question for Sharon.

1:27:34 Sharon Osbourne Go on, Jeremy, I'm ready.

1:27:36 Caller All right.

1:27:37 Caller I just got to know one thing.

1:27:38 Adam You know how you have the Osbourne show on MTV?

1:27:41 Sharon Osbourne Yeah.

1:27:41 Adam I just got to know one thing.

1:27:43 Caller How does it feel to have them cameras following you around all day?

1:27:46 Drew No one has ever asked her that question. How would an astute and amazing question.

1:27:52 Adam Drew, come on. We got a young journalist here. All right.

1:27:56 Sharon Osbourne It changes by your mood. Most of the time, I really don't mind, but sometimes it can be really annoying and invasive.

1:28:07 Adam You've been there.

1:28:09 Sharon Osbourne Most of the time, it can be very annoying.

1:28:12 Adam Well, here's an interesting thing I'm certainly of. Back when cameras first came out, when people get their photographs taken, it was a big thing. You get dressed up, you sit still, and they'd always put a puss on that looks sort of proud or noble, or at least very serious. This is not something to monkey with. It was sort of like airline travel when it first got going. Put your suit on, put a tie on, and straighten up. Yeah, it was serious, not to be taken, it wasn't frivolous. The camera was not a toy. And then, you know, they came up with the photo mats where you put the quarter in, you put your head in, you get three pictures, you do all the crazy faces and everything. I think people are getting used to being on camera now. I could remember when my buddy The Wee's got a video camera, it was still connected with a tether to the thing, but he had one and it was like, it was a novelty to look at it and then look at the TV set, then look at you. It's like, hey, look at me, I'm moving.

1:29:10 Drew Yeah, I'm on the TV.

1:29:12 Adam I'm on the TV. It's like, yeah, hey, idiot, remember when you were in the mirror 10 minutes ago? Same concept, really, same view. But it's like, hey, look at me, I'm moving. Hey, look at me, I'm on the TV. I think people now with more and more video cameras everywhere, surveillance. I think your kids are just be won't be any big whoop and someone pulls out a video camera. I imagine having guys following you around, eventually you just ignore it, right?

1:29:37 Sharon Osbourne I mean, to a degree, to a degree you can. Yeah, but there are there are times, you know, when you just come in and you're really not in that mindset of, oh, God, there's cameras in here and you just go through the house and you're like, oh, OK.

1:29:54 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you mean, you mean there's there's the ones that are fixed to the wall.

1:29:59 Sharon Osbourne Yeah. And it's like you can't. I just wanted to say, right. But I can't say it right. You know, right.

1:30:06 Adam So you're saying even more so than the guy following you around with the camera. It's the surveillance part.

1:30:13 Sharon Osbourne Oh, yeah. I mean, there's loads of times where I've gone around the house and, you know, you're picking your nose or you bite your fingernails and you're doing personal things and you go, oh, no.

1:30:24 Adam I would I would have to be I don't know what I have first. I have to go to some sort of training seminar to stop scratching my ass.

1:30:29 Drew They'd have to actually, you know, they have those mitts.

1:30:31 Adam That's what I was thinking.

1:30:33 Sharon Osbourne I would have a dog collar too.

1:30:36 Adam So I could get to my nose.

1:30:37 Drew Yes, your mouth, your hair, your picking stuff.

1:30:40 Adam I can't even break wind without doing the fan thing. I can't my hair.

1:30:43 Drew You do the big lamp shade thing upside down.

1:30:45 Sharon Osbourne No, it's like, you know, in the middle of the night, you go downstairs, you want to make something to eat. And you're like, you know, it's like, oh, just do that.

1:30:56 Drew You'd be scratching your nuts and farting.

1:30:59 Adam Oh, it'd be a disaster.

1:31:01 Drew Oh, my God, the VCR.

1:31:03 Adam Is there any feeling of security, though, in an interesting way? Like you don't feel alone in your big house or frightened of intruders or something? Is there a feeling of?

1:31:14 Sharon Osbourne That's the one thing now. I never feel afraid that they ever be intruders. That never in LA.

1:31:22 Adam You're not going to go home to a dark. You go home and the kids are out and Ozzy's not there. Whatever is kind of weird. Like you go in, you don't know what's going on.

1:31:30 Sharon Osbourne I do always feel safe in my house. That's very true. I do.

1:31:35 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break. Sharon Osbourne here tonight and we'll be right back after this. There, buddy. Loveline, where did the time go? I'll tell you that little angel, Sharon Osbourne, gobbled it all up.

1:32:17 Drew I could have figured it out if you just told me the time more frequently than I would have been able to pay attention.

1:32:22 Adam 722-2257, it's 38 weeks on top. Sharon, God bless, God speed, good luck, girl.

1:32:30 Sharon Osbourne Thank you.

1:32:31 Drew Are you gonna live in England for a while?

1:32:33 Sharon Osbourne Only for a couple of months.

1:32:34 Adam Couple of months, I should be right back.

1:32:35 Sharon Osbourne Oh, of course.

1:32:36 Adam All right, they live in things called flats over there, Drew.

1:32:39 Sharon Osbourne Mm-hmm.

1:32:41 Adam All right, Osbourne DVD coming out on May 4th. Look for them on Leno coming up on Wednesday and then Kimmel coming up the following Monday. That's the one you need to watch. Sharon, say hi to Osbourne for me. That's amazing.

1:32:56 Sharon Osbourne Oh, I'm telling you, the first thing I'm gonna do.

1:32:59 Adam He's gonna probably wait. No, she's gonna listen. Hey, Osbourne, you listening, buddy? Sharon's gonna tell you. I said hi in about a half an hour.

1:33:08 Drew He'll sit up and wait for that.

1:33:09 Adam I'm gonna hang out, watch the History Channel with him. So until next time, it's Adam Crawler for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:33:18 Caller I got out of it through prayer. Sorry, Adam, but God is real.

1:33:21 Adam All right, well, look, look.

1:33:27 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Monday, April 26, 2004