Episode 1000608990886

0:52 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:02 Voiceover Hey everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. And tonight, I want to welcome back to the show, James Marsters from, well, let's see, Angel, and the Vampire Slayer and Spike. I don't know if any, is there any character that's gone from one series to the next? I mean, there's been on evening.

1:34 Drew Mark, Maude, Maude.

1:35 James Marsters Yeah.

1:36 Drew Rota, Rota.

1:37 Adam Yeah.

1:37 James Marsters But these I'm following in Bigfoot's.

1:40 Adam All right. But true.

1:41 Drew Sitcom.

1:41 Adam True. Well, not only sitcoms, but these they're spinning off into their own.

1:46 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:47 Adam Into their own.

1:48 Drew Right. They weren't just appearing on another show. You know what I mean?

1:51 Yeah.

1:51 James Marsters Well, they all got their own shows, whereas like I didn't.

1:54 Adam That's what we're saying. That's a mark of distinction. Somebody has to have the record for least strikeouts in a thousand innings pitch. You know what I'm saying?

2:06 Drew Yes.

2:06 Adam The point is it's a record. That's what I'm saying.

2:09 James Marsters I got something.

2:09 Drew It's better being the second most in anything. Right.

2:13 Adam Well, but by the way, who the hell would guess that you'd be doing Spike and doing a character on one network and one TV show and then sort of slide into another TV show?

2:28 James Marsters I absolutely never thought. I thought that I was going to come down here and work really hard and humiliate myself for a little tiny bit amount of money and then leave and go back to theater. I never saw this coming at all.

2:41 Adam So the run, the Spike run, are we on year seven or something? What year are we on? Seven? Yeah. Drew, what are you nodding like you knew?

2:51 Drew I saw six here on Buffy and I knew this new year was an angel.

2:56 Adam Oh really? Oh Drew, I didn't even see that. You see, that was just my own cat-like sense.

3:01 Drew It's because you, I know it was pretty good, I thought. All that whiny about being in South Pasadena today, filming your Martha Stewart show. But by the way, my kid's baseball dime is right off Los Robles.

3:13 Adam We're gonna visit the kiddies tomorrow.

3:15 James Marsters You're working with Martha, huh?

3:17 Adam I was, you know, it's, it's goddamn television. I'm hosting some thing for ABC that's not airing for a month and we won't get into it yet because we gotta talk about Angel. But the two one-hour specials about sort of crowning the next Martha Stewart book deals and so on and so forth. So I'm at the beginning and I'm like, well, what should we do at the top? Well, this is the heir apparent to Martha Stewart. No, we can't, we can't mention her name. We cannot, we can't bring her name up. That's, you know, we talked to the lawyers. We're not be able to bring her name up. I said, all right, well, what if we do this? You know, as you know, there's quite a void to be filled in this particular, you know, a particular someone is having some trouble and there's just some mighty big shoes to fill. No, no, we can't, we can't elude. We can't elude to her.

4:14 James Marsters How good are her lawyers?

4:15 Adam Yeah, I'm like, first off, the whole reason eluding was invented was so you could elude. You understand? I mean, the essence of eluding is nullified by not being able to elude.

4:30 Drew Yes, there's no.

4:30 Adam Eluding was invented because you could not mention the other thing. Now we're going to have to elude to the eluders.

4:38 Drew I mean, what do we, you know, I'm like, and by the way, but by the way, isn't the show an illusion to her? Isn't eluding just by virtue what you're doing?

4:50 Adam All I'm saying is, is I'm like going, I'm not going to say we need to fill the shoes of the smelly skank who may possibly do some time for, you know, a Rico act or something.

5:03 Drew No, you want to be respectful.

5:06 Adam Just saying, yes, the queen has stepped down. She's advocated the throne and now we're going to need someone else to step up and take the step there.

5:15 James Marsters Can you say Arthur Mayweard Steyer or something?

5:18 Adam Yeah, you can only do the pig Latin, Martha Stewart. So it was fantastic. And you know, me, it's like, I'm always like this. I start arguing for 10 seconds and then it's like, let's just move forward here. Let's cut our losses. Why don't we get paid? What's going on? Anyway, it was a good times over there in Drew's hometown of Pasadena. Angel is on Wednesday nights, nine o'clock on the www, And watch because they've been kicking our butts for the last four episodes of the season are good. Oh yeah.

5:50 James Marsters We paid a price, yeah.

5:51 Adam Now the last episode is May 19th. So that's it and now let's see, I'm reading here that we're going, hmm. What's up? Are they taking the show off the air?

6:05 James Marsters Yeah, they totally are, man. They canceled us.

6:07 Drew Oh really?

6:07 James Marsters Yeah.

6:08 Adam But we gotta start a letter writing campaign, right?

6:10 James Marsters They did, they did. They had people, some people were driving around with a billboard downtown. They were selling chocolate bars. NPR did a thing on it. They did like a segment on Save the Angel on Morning Edition.

6:25 Adam Well, it has.

6:26 James Marsters Something.

6:27 Adam You know, our dear, dear, dear friend, Seth MacFarlane, who does The Family Guy.

6:32 Drew Oh yeah, he got back.

6:33 Adam Had a show that was on for a couple of seasons. Got moved around a lot, got booted off and then the fans sort of brought it back and now they're going back to work on it.

6:43 James Marsters Yeah, well, they're already talking about other like movies and television movies and stuff with the characters and stuff. So the thing's not dead at all. But sorry, right into my, yeah, they're already talking about other projects with the characters and but I think right now that Angel Series is gonna be gone.

6:59 Adam Well then what's next for James?

7:01 James Marsters Well, I'm gonna shave my head. Yeah. And then I have to get to know people as an American with brown hair.

7:09 Adam Yeah.

7:09 James Marsters And my manager thinks I'm gonna be a big leading man star and he wants me to do that and I think I might try that but I also think I might just be a character actor.

7:18 Adam You've been, your hair almost looks the consistency of mine, Drew.

7:23 James Marsters Yeah, I was just gonna say, I've got exactly like your, yeah, yeah, yeah.

7:25 Adam That's very frightening.

7:26 James Marsters And I'm gonna do just like your hair, just cut it real short. Cause what else do you do? You're just big and bushy or short?

7:30 Adam Yeah, you can get work as a superhero called Brillo Head. I was called in high school.

7:37 James Marsters Oh man, mine was monkey.

7:39 Adam Oh really? Yeah, I don't know how old you are, James, but if you're anywhere close to my age.

7:46 James Marsters Yeah, I'm probably older then.

7:48 Adam We had feathered hair was all the rage when I was in junior high.

7:54 James Marsters Yeah, sure, I'm 42.

7:55 Drew So yeah, you remember.

7:56 James Marsters Yeah, I remember feathered hair. I wanted that so badly. It's like, I used to think if I could find the right brush or the right comb, that that would be the mail order for these weird brushes.

8:09 Drew God, were we sick in those days? I think what they did to kids in the 70s, they destroyed them.

8:14 Adam Let me tell you who, based on my hair, I looked like, remember the principal in Room 222? Since there was a character actor, had hair that just, it just looked like you would pull one off and it would snap like a twig, you know? I mean, when you take curly, thick, nappy Sicilian hair and you try to comb it, it looks like kindling.

8:37 Drew And by the way, what was the matter with the people that cut hair in those days? Why didn't they just say, hey, hey?

8:41 Adam All right, let me just tell you goddamn snot-nosed kids something and how good you have it. Here's the thing that you kids can do. First off, you wear your hair any way you want to wear your hair. If you're a white dude and you want cornrows, so be it. If you want dreads, so be it. If you want to go clean shaven, so be it. I mean, when has there ever been a time in history where one dude had cornrows and he was getting tail, the other dude had dreads, he was getting tail, and the other guy was flat bald and was getting tail. When did this hit? Buzz cut, crew cut, rockabilly, whatever you want. Wherever, here's the point. Your hair, it's like a river. Whatever direction it flows, fine. But in our day, it all had to head one direction. Farrah Fawcett.

9:30 Caller Yeah, that was the direction I had to go.

9:31 James Marsters But the guys looked like Farrah too from behind. That was a problem.

9:34 Drew Leif Garrett was the apparently.

9:35 James Marsters That would freak me out in high school, man.

9:37 Adam And. I try not to be my friend. Oh, one of the hardy, the hardy boys over there, too. Oh, yeah. Keith and.

9:46 Drew Let's get some calls.

9:48 Adam Give it a flashback. Here's all I'm saying. Here's all I'm saying.

9:52 Drew What are you saying?

9:53 Adam What if somebody just, and listen to me, you kiddies, what if someone just showed up at your school one day and said, look, here's the look, here's the hair, here's the attitude, here's the whole thing. It's disco, it's feathered, it's this and that. And you were like, yeah, I have a huge ass. It's not gonna look good in those tight jeans. I don't care, pack it in, fat ass. Well, my hair, it's thick, it's nappy, it's not gonna, nope, get a hot comb then and cry me a river.

10:19 James Marsters But that's, yeah, but we've broken out of that. I remember, remember when the wet head got dead?

10:22 Yeah.

10:23 James Marsters Everyone's expected not to do that anymore. All of the sudden.

10:26 Drew Oh my God.

10:26 James Marsters Remember those days?

10:27 Yes.

10:27 Drew I thought that was the slogan behind that.

10:29 Adam The wet head is dead.

10:30 James Marsters We have broken the shackles of that kind of tree.

10:33 Caller The wet head is dead.

10:34 Drew Kaitlyn, 23. Kaitlyn.

10:38 James Marsters Yes.

10:39 Adam I got to build a time machine, go back to junior high and kill myself.

10:42 Drew Yeah.

10:42 Adam That's my plan. You want in James?

10:44 Take me out too.

10:46 Drew All right, Kaitlyn, go.

10:46 Hi, I have a question for you guys tonight. I was curious about the effects of Viagra on women.

10:56 Drew Well, it turned out they've looked at that rather carefully and there's some effect, there's not nothing, but for the most part, it's not much. And it certainly doesn't seem to do anything to desire or drive. It can do a little bit for arousal, but the research showed that women have separate mechanisms for arousal and drive. For men, if you create arousal, you get, you know, coming to go to action.

11:19 Adam If you want, if you pump, if you can figure out a way to, you know, dilate the blood vessels and get some blood down to the hunker, then you're going to get a sex drive out of that guy.

11:31 Drew It's a call to action. Absolutely. Men are at that point driven towards orgasm at that moment. For women, no such thing. No such thing. They, in fact, don't even have drive. They'll have some arousal. They'll describe arousal, but they won't have any interest in that.

11:45 Adam But isn't that, but hold on a second.

11:48 Drew As a guy, it's hard to understand that. It's almost impossible to understand.

11:51 Adam But doesn't it have to get them half a step closer to the desire part to feel?

11:56 Drew Apparently not. The desire needs to come first. And for women, the desire part requires candles and conversation and things. And it's different. It's very different for women. So, Kaylin, the vagabond is not likely to do too much.

12:10 Adam But women are also very pliable emotionally. You give them a child's aspirin and tell them it's a horny pill and they might just go for it.

12:18 Drew Are you having a problem with sex drive?

12:23 I'm willing to experiment or whatever, but I'm just curious about any negative effects, like on your reproductive system or anything like that.

12:30 Drew No, not that we know of. Are you on any medication now?

12:33 No.

12:35 Drew The main problem with VIGOR is on the heart and that's for people that are on cardiac medication like nitrates, so.

12:40 Adam Why?

12:41 Drew It increases the risk of death. It's fine.

12:46 Adam Well, what's it do? Something with the blood vessels?

12:48 Drew We think, yeah, we think.

12:49 Adam Well, isn't that-

12:50 Drew It's not well understood.

12:50 Adam How's it know where to go? How does anything know where to go?

12:53 Drew It goes all over the place.

12:54 Adam That's the thing. That's the problem, right?

12:55 Drew Right.

12:56 Adam So it's whatever it's doing to the vessels in your the dork is doing to the one in your heart.

13:01 Drew Right. And the nitric oxide in the brain seems to get affected too. So we really don't know the long-term effects. So for a healthy person to use it may not be a great idea. We just don't know.

13:13 Adam Angie? 21?

13:17 What's up?

13:21 But I recently found out that I have herpes simplex 1. And I've never had a cold sore in my entire life.

13:28 Drew What do you mean? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean you haven't?

13:30 Adam You don't hear about the simplexes anymore.

13:33 Drew It's all the same.

13:34 Adam Yeah, but I still miss it.

13:36 Well, I got tested for everything and my doctor asked me if I ever had cold sores before and I told her no, which she was a little surprised by my answer.

13:43 Drew You got a blood test?

13:45 Yeah.

13:46 Drew Those are fairly worthless for herpes. They're very poorly predictive. So just don't worry about it. If you don't have it, you don't have it.

13:53 Adam Why do they bother with it?

13:54 Drew I don't know. I think for a while there it was the thing to do and then it was sort of proven to be very poorly predictive of some, it has to be used in a situation sort of a confirmation where you really, high level of suspicion that it can be useful. But in just as a random screen, it's worthless.

14:09 So I'm curious, like, do I still need to worry, like, if about-

14:15 Drew Here's the deal, Angie. Essentially everybody has been exposed to herpes type 1 in their mouth or somewhere. So yeah, you're like everybody else. Now, can you transmit it? Well, yeah, if you're having oral sex with somebody, possibly you could, like everybody else. But if you don't have an outbreak, it's highly unlikely.

14:31 Caller All right, baby.

14:32 Thank you very much. I love you.

14:35 Adam What's the matter?

14:37 Nothing, I just wanted to make sure, you know?

14:39 Drew What do you do out there in KC? What do you do for a living?

14:42 I go to college and I'm actually at work right now. I work for a television station.

14:48 Adam Really? What do you do?

14:50 I'm a video editor here and I work overnight.

14:54 Drew And go to school, my goodness.

14:55 Adam Let me tell you something, that editing, good money.

14:59 I know I'm very happy, I'm paying my way for school now and everybody's so proud of me.

15:04 Drew But are you from the Midwest or something? Are you from Michigan?

15:07 No, I'm in Kansas City. I live here, grew up here.

15:10 Drew You got a little bit of accent from over north of there.

15:13 Oh, no, everybody asked me if I'm from like Canada or something.

15:16 Drew Yeah, you've got a little bit of Minnesota thing going on.

15:19 Adam In a little Wisconsin. But and also you're in a good mood. Most people from KC are miserable.

15:25 Drew No, no, the Midwest is trippy.

15:29 Adam Yeah. Good times there, baby doll. Yeah. TGIFNF, because I got to work Saturday and Sunday. I'm pre-miserable. I'm now pre-miserable. I got to work. Tomorrow, Friday? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, tomorrow. Well, you call it Friday. I call it Wednesday. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have a reason for that?

15:52 Drew It's the part of the story.

15:53 Adam I got to do this. Don't mention her name. I got to do this special. It's great.

15:58 Drew Cooking.

15:59 Adam It's great.

15:59 Drew Cooking special.

16:00 Adam Saturday's a double call, too, which is like show up at 10, you wrap you out at 3, and then I'll need you back at 6, like kind of things like that. So I may be coming over Saturday, Drew.

16:12 Drew All right.

16:13 Adam I may be crashing.

16:14 Drew That's fine.

16:14 Adam I give you a house, a quick walk around, do an inspection.

16:17 Drew Oh, yeah. I love that. We're going to do the baseball.

16:20 Adam Doing the baseball. All right. All right. I'll be napping at your house. Possibly masturbating.

16:25 Drew Oh, God.

16:26 Yeah.

16:26 Drew We'll get the wet naps out there for you.

16:28 Adam Chris.

16:30 Hey.

16:31 Adam You're 19?

16:32 Caller Yeah.

16:33 Adam Yeah.

16:34 Caller All right, buddy.

16:35 Adam We just like, you know, it's like Chris fell asleep. Chris fell asleep in his car on the side of the highway, and I was a cop who just came up, tap my ring on the window, and then shine a flashlight in there. Picture him sort of leaning back, half of Mickey's big mouth falling over and said, hey man, what's going on?

16:54 Caller Chris? Hey.

16:55 Adam Hey, yeah.

16:57 Caller Okay.

16:58 Adam Can I see some license and registration, please?

17:01 Drew Insurance, proof of insurance.

17:02 Adam Step out of vehicle, son, sir.

17:04 Today, Junior.

17:06 Adam We haven't talked about this in a while, but I always like when they get real wordy about stuff. What I'm going to need you to do right now, please, to step out of the vehicle. Okay, go ahead for me. It's like, how about saying out of the car? You have 28 words in there. All right. At this point in time, what I'm going to need you to do, and I'm going to like to do and ask you to do, require you to do, is actually reach into your pocket, pull out your wallet, take the license from the said wallet, hand it to me, please. It's like, how about you saying, how about your license? I'm going to need you to right now. I'm going to need you to do for me. I wonder what goes on at the cop school that they, you know, like.

17:40 James Marsters That's the payoff for the long hours and the low pay. They get to do that. They get to string, they string that out a little bit.

17:44 Adam That's the moment.

17:47 Drew I think it's a test. It's a twitch, a nervous thing.

17:49 James Marsters And also they're afraid you're going to pull a gun and kill them.

17:51 Drew Right.

17:52 Adam Cause it's, it's, it's a, it's, it's like, it's like when they go, well, how many beers did you have son? And you're like, well, now officer.

18:01 Drew Do you mean today?

18:03 Adam Funny story. It's the equivalent of that. You never go nine. You know, it's always, yeah. What I'm going to need you do for me right now, sirs, please step out of the vehicle. It's always like, if I was like looking at the officer's handbook, I'd be looking at that going, all right, let's cut this, cut that.

18:21 Drew How much is just plain old anxiety. Just think you have to walk up to somebody on the street and start talking to them. Just that may be anxiety for you and it wouldn't be interesting. You wouldn't relish it. You'd be like, look, could you come over here for a second? Cause I'm going to need to kind of talk to you from now.

18:35 James Marsters Yeah, you know, maybe they're trying to be polite. Maybe they're trying not to be gruff.

18:39 Adam Could be.

18:40 James Marsters I don't know. I learned a long time ago, do whatever they tell you to do.

18:44 Adam Kiss ass.

18:45 James Marsters Oh my God.

18:45 Adam Yes.

18:46 James Marsters I have a smell or something.

18:48 Drew They don't like you?

18:48 James Marsters What it is.

18:49 Adam You do, you look like trouble.

18:51 James Marsters No, no. They really want to, ever since I was a young guy, yeah. They really want to just get me down.

18:58 Adam Well, that's true.

18:58 James Marsters Yeah, I got, I remember getting mugged and getting my face split open and going to the emergency room and getting, and then getting done by the cop.

19:05 Adam He was like, he thought, he thought you brought it on yourself?

19:08 James Marsters Yeah, yeah, get out of my emergency room, you damn punk kind of thing.

19:11 Adam Yeah.

19:12 James Marsters I was just going home, you know? I'd been working all night and I'm going home, yeah.

19:16 Drew Weird.

19:16 Adam Well, here's the thing I've learned, too, from the cops. And by the way, yes, I sympathize with them walking up, talking to strangers all day.

19:25 James Marsters You always put, if you put your hands up on the steering wheel, they appreciate that.

19:29 Adam Oh yeah.

19:29 Drew And it's strangers, it's not gonna be any strangers, that you get, you know, 90% probability is an a-hole stranger or a criminal stranger.

19:36 Adam I take it a step farther. I will actually, when they tell me to get out of the car, take the wheel with me. I will not lift my hands off the wheel.

19:43 Drew I just crawl out the window, keep my hands on the wheel.

19:45 Adam I crawl my ass out the window, yeah, yeah.

19:47 Drew Now wait a minute.

19:48 Adam I just start kissing their shoes. Hold on, I'm trying to picture not letting go of the wheel. It takes some practice.

19:54 Drew It takes some practice, yes.

19:55 Adam You have to taco yourself in half, shove your ass out the window.

20:00 Drew One foot in the ass.

20:01 Adam And then push the one foot out and then actually, but you can still keep yourself on to the wheel.

20:06 Drew Yes, it makes them very happy to keep your hands on the wheel, they ask for that.

20:09 Adam Interesting. So I feel like an idiot taking the wheel off this whole time, but disengage.

20:14 Drew How do you open the door with your hands on the wheel?

20:16 Adam You gotta disengage the hair bag.

20:18 Drew Yeah, come on, just put your ass out the window.

20:20 Adam Okay, you're right. Drew's right, Drew's right.

20:25 Drew Let's finish Chris's talk, shall we?

20:26 Adam Yeah, we're talking about it.

20:28 Drew Finish Chris.

20:29 Adam All right, what I'm gonna need you to do right now for me, son?

20:31 Drew Chris. Hey. Yeah, 19. And this word has never been more laden with meaning. Action.

20:44 Adam Listen, every once in a while, after my 15th minute of ambling on about nothing, I feel a little sorry for our callers and I say, let's go back and see. You know what it is? You know what I feel like about our callers? I feel like that parent that was, maybe it's a little tough on the boy. That's all tough. Let me go talk. Let me go talk to Timmy. Timmy, listen, daddy gives you time. He turns around and socks me in the nuts. Now he's getting the belt. That's what I feel like. All right, let's take a break. Let's regroup. James Marsters is here tonight from Angel. Nine o'clock Wednesday, www, start sending those letters in, kiddies.

21:20 Drew That's right.

21:21 Adam Four more episodes. Keep the show on the air. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

21:28 Caller Loveline. We'll be right back. As many as one in three Americans with HIV don't know it. To find a testing location near you, call toll-free 1-866-344-K-N-O-W.

21:52 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-E-E-1-9-1, James Marsters, here tonight from Angel. You know him as Spike from Angel and from Buffy the Vampire Slayer all those years. Wednesday nights, WB, nine o'clock. James also got himself a band called Ghost of the Robot, which is gonna be playing at the knitting factory this Saturday night. And I was walking down Hollywood Boulevard and I saw the knitting factory the other day and I thought, wait a minute, didn't he used to be somewhere else? And why is it there? And is it the one that's on Hollywood? And it's right underneath the Galaxy Theater or what used to be the Galaxy Theater?

22:36 James Marsters Yes, I believe so, yeah.

22:38 Adam And right by this wacky Hollywood museum that nobody seems to know about. Do you know about that, Drew?

22:43 Drew The one, I only know about that one by the Hollywood Bull.

22:46 Adam There is a museum that's on Hollywood Boulevard. It's right down from the Chinese Theater. It's right where the knitting factory is.

22:53 James Marsters They got Godzilla outside there in neon.

22:55 Drew You mean the Hollywood Wax Museum?

22:57 Adam Not the wax museum. There's a museum that has the set of Cheers on it.

23:04 James Marsters Boy, that would be exciting.

23:05 Adam It's the one in the corner of Highland? The set.

23:08 James Marsters Yeah, Hollywood and Highland.

23:11 Adam It's west of Highland.

23:12 Drew West of Highland.

23:13 Adam Yeah, about a block or whatever it sounds. Further down than Kimmel is.

23:17 Drew It's on the north side of the street of Kimmel?

23:19 Adam Other side. You know, here's the thing, everybody. You know, you want to meet William Shatner, you want to see the Batmobile, you want to see the Cheers set. Always disappointing, all of it. It's Shatner, you know, fat and hair plugs, Batmobile. You just realize a lot of plywood and duct tape, like just orange tape and stuff. I mean, we had the Batmobile on the Man Show once. I remember Jimmy saying to me, no way, it's just a Batmobile. I was like, he's like a nine year old.

23:48 Drew That's very funny.

23:50 Adam You know, because the rocket-

23:52 Drew It's like my son, like, no way.

23:55 Caller It's just a Batmobile.

23:56 Drew The rocket's blasted.

23:57 Adam The rocket is a Quaker oatmeal, you know, container spray painted black that's duct tape on the back of the Impala. You know, it's not an actual rocket. Jimmy's like, no way, that's not the real one. No, here's the thing. You take the car, you know, you paint it black. You have it go by at 80 miles an hour and you put a bunch of Dayglow orange stickers on it.

24:15 James Marsters It looks, it looks, it looks cool. You can take a close up of it if you want.

24:18 Drew I thought your film was TV then, too.

24:20 Adam Yeah, but totally go get up on some of those, especially those mobiles, and you'll find out, first off, three quarters of them are plywood, like just the facades and the stuff that looks like the shark's fin is just a piece of a CDX ply that's been spray painted silver, you know. It's always a disaster. But, I'll tell you one thing, you're not gonna be disappointed. You're not gonna be disappointed in James' band at the knitting factory.

24:43 James Marsters You're actually humble.

24:44 Adam He has no Batmobile.

24:45 James Marsters No, no way. We got no duct tape, man.

24:48 Adam No, he's the real McCoy.

24:49 James Marsters I gotta say, we got a new album, and we're, it's really good. Our new album is a lot better than the old one, and I think that's probably what you were hoping for when you're in a band.

24:58 Adam And you wanna move that direction, baby, doll.

25:00 James Marsters Yeah, and we've been rehearsing. Just got finished filming, and we started daily rehearsals with the band, and it's just absolutely fabulous.

25:08 Drew Well, you know what I like about the band.

25:10 Oh, really?

25:12 Adam That's a good transition, Drew. Paige?

25:14 Uh-huh.

25:15 Adam 21?

25:16 Yeah.

25:17 Adam What's happening?

25:18 Oh, nothing, just hanging out. I was just calling to see, oh, hi James, hi Drew, hi Adam. Well, I was just calling to find out about James' new album. When is it coming out?

25:32 James Marsters It'll be coming out, I imagine, next fall, early fall. We're gonna come back from Europe and finish it up and then we gotta master it and copy it a million times.

25:43 Oh, right on, sounds cool. Yeah, I loved the last album a lot, it was really good.

25:47 James Marsters Thanks, thanks. I thought that it showed a lot of potential, but it was really rough. There was a really jerk producer on it who wouldn't let us really do what we wanted to and it was me, actually, because I was kinda frontin the money for it at that time and I didn't wanna spend much money and this time we have enough money as a band to really do it right and it just sounds great.

26:06 Oh, well that's good, yeah.

26:07 James Marsters So yeah, do get it, you won't be disappointed.

26:10 Oh, right on. So yeah, I'm excited about hearing the new album then.

26:13 Adam Yeah, if you could get out, now you're callin from Chino?

26:16 Uh-huh.

26:17 Adam How far is Chino, Drew?

26:18 Drew It's north of California.

26:19 Adam That's what I thought. Remember the correctional facility is?

26:22 Drew All right, let's Chico.

26:23 Adam Oh, and the, Let's Chico, I thought there was a Chino, too.

26:26 Drew Chino's, I confused them, I confused Chico and Chino.

26:32 No, Chino, yeah, there's some Chino prison down here.

26:35 Drew So Chico's what I'm thinking of.

26:36 Diamond bar and everywhere.

26:38 Yeah, yeah, Chino, okay.

26:39 Drew Yeah.

26:39 Adam All right, baby doll. Hey, listen, maybe James and the banner will get up north one of these days.

26:45 Drew No, she's down by Diamond Bar.

26:47 Adam Oh, she's down by Diamond Bar one.

26:48 Drew Yeah, Chico's down there.

26:49 Adam Well, that's that one. All right, well, get out here to the knitting factory on Saturday night.

26:54 James Marsters Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we'll hit them. Come on down, it's gonna be good.

26:57 Adam Yeah, go down to Hollywood Boulevard. You see a guy in a Spider-Man outfit who has no ass. I see these guys every day because they're out front of Kimmel's show, handing out flyers and taking pictures. Listen, I understand you're not gonna get a top name, a bodybuilder, just for seven bucks an hour to get in that outfit all day, but at least get a guy with some ass. Those guys are like, you know what looks like a kid wearing pajamas? Who's the guy in the Granimals out here? It's like Captain Craft in his pants out here, 128 pound guy, like super spindly with no ass, and he's just in it. It looks like Spider-Man pajamas at a certain point. And then the other one I saw yesterday, which was a new one I'd seen for, I think Jason from Friday the 13th, but with a huge gut, like a fat Jason. These guys, it's funny, if they play a guy who's not fat, they're fat. If they play a guy who's big, they're skinny. They're always a little bit off.

28:00 James Marsters I think it would be hard to get people to do that job. I think that's a hard job. I used to do parties as Winnie the Pooh, man.

28:07 Adam That is a hard job.

28:07 Drew You talked about this last time you were here.

28:09 James Marsters Did I really? It must be more traumatic than I realized.

28:11 Adam Were you a party pal?

28:13 James Marsters No man, I lasted two parties.

28:17 Adam Had a little dignity.

28:18 James Marsters Man, that's hard.

28:20 Drew That's why they didn't hire you.

28:21 Adam How dare you? They did. Now, what did you do? Because here's what people don't understand. First off, many, many, many actors in this business who never make a penny. And you guys are listening, think about people getting rich. You're thinking about J.Lo. These guys, if they could pay their bills, doing their craft and not have to tempt, not have to be a waiter, server, whatever, they would be ecstatic. They would sign on the dotted line. If I could go to these guys, put a little contract in front of them and say, look, you're not going to be a household name. You're not going to be on a Wheaties box.

28:57 James Marsters It's like it is second.

28:57 Adam You get a two bedroom apartment over there in Sherman Oaks and we'll make the payments on the Acura. Where do I sign? Because they'd be doing what they do. And we'll take your soul. Still sign. So one of the gigs is, so I guess in LA, because there's a whole bunch of actors and everyone's desperate, there's a whole bunch of businesses other than the business, ancillary stuff that is sprouted off to the left and the right. And one of them is all these sort of party guys. And so you get guys who have 18 years of a Shakespearean training dressed up as one of the Ninja Turtles at a four year old's party getting 50 bucks, right?

29:34 James Marsters Yeah.

29:34 Adam So you did as Winnie the Pooh?

29:36 James Marsters Yeah. Yeah. I was like 17 at the time. And-

29:40 Adam Do you have a ramp? Did they tell you-

29:43 James Marsters No, I had a little show, but then I had to hang out with the kids and they were good kids and everything. But that's just basically managing kids. And that's hard when you're dressed normally. But if you're dressed as an animal, it's just absolutely impossible.

29:54 Drew Oh, and it's 103.

29:55 Caller Oh, and you can't tell an egg.

29:57 James Marsters You know, you can't like lay a boundary down as poo. You know, how are you going to do that?

30:01 Adam You got to keep your head on, too, right? But you got to-

30:05 James Marsters Oh, yeah. No, I didn't have that. My face was made up as well.

30:07 Adam Oh, you're made up.

30:08 James Marsters It's like community theater thing.

30:09 Adam We, I came this close to getting involved with something called the Party Pals. And a friend of mine did. And I went with them on the audition and decided to audition my own self. I made it one of the deal breakers was, you know, I had to put the head on for the outfit 100 yards down from the party. So you'd be driving your car, trying to look through Fred Flintstone's styrofoam head, which, by the way, seems like could have been a lawsuit waiting to happen there. You know what I mean? Driving a motor vehicle with that Fred Flintstone's head and just basically looking through a couple of pixie sticks that trying to pull the piece of ass in down from the party and then hit it on foot. They couldn't see you. You couldn't see Fred Flintstone come driving up either. But outfits smelled the high heaven, of course, because there's no way to really clean those things effectively. This is pre-fabris. This is pre. This is PF. You understand, Drew?

31:06 Drew I have a million thoughts.

31:07 Adam All right.

31:08 Drew Yeah.

31:08 Adam You want to share any of them?

31:09 Drew Well, one was I was at Cornell last night, as you know, and one of his kids had a like a polo shirt and they're called like, I guess he got from the gap, he said, and they're like, worry-free clothing. It was like pouring ink on it and spraying wine on it. It just flies off.

31:24 Adam Really?

31:24 Drew And it felt like cotton. It wasn't wasn't like windbreakers. I was like cotton. Yeah. I was like, Oh, okay, everything. That's totally true.

31:32 Caller Everything's got to be that now. Yeah.

31:34 Adam Yeah.

31:35 James Marsters Oh, that'll change my life.

31:37 Adam Yeah.

31:37 Caller Yeah.

31:37 Adam If you got kids. Yeah.

31:39 James Marsters Yeah.

31:39 Adam How will it hold up to vomit?

31:42 Drew Oh, everything. It just blew off.

31:45 Caller Yeah.

31:45 Drew It was weird.

31:46 Adam Kids going to die of skin cancer in just a couple of months. Crystal?

31:50 Yes.

31:50 Adam You're 19?

31:51 Caller Yes.

31:53 Adam Oh, your fiance became a paraplegic?

31:56 Caller Right.

31:56 Adam What happened?

31:57 Caller He was in a motorcycle accident back in January. And he was a T6 fracture, just like mid chest area. And he's paralyzed from that level down. And right now, he doesn't have any movement or feeling below that point. So I was just wondering, like, I know there's grieving process and all of that that has to happen. But I was wondering if there's any way that he would have any type of sexual function that would come back. Or I don't know how long that would take.

32:32 Drew Well, it's not so much that it has to come back because a lot of the male sexual functioning is a spinal reflex. It just doesn't connect to his head. He doesn't feel anything. They can have erections sometimes and some guys even can have orgasm. But if there's a problem with that, there is that viagra, obviously, and some guys get implants and things. So sort of time will tell as they work through this. But his sort of experience of it won't be the same, obviously.

33:02 Adam Well, is he depressed?

33:07 Caller But it's not actually like that as bad as I was expecting it to be.

33:11 Drew What do you mean? His depression is not as bad?

33:13 Caller Right. It's just, you know, down days where he just feels like he doesn't want to live and, you know, just, it's like on and off. Yeah, but sometimes in some other days he's completely happy.

33:28 Adam Well, you know, first off, the beginning's got to be horrible because, A, you're dealing with this new news of not being able to use the lower half of your body, and then, B, you've not learned how to function that way because you've not had to up until then, you know what I mean? Like, could you imagine having to learn how to read Braille at this stage of the game? Not that he has to do that, but you know what I'm saying?

33:53 Drew The poopoo and the pee-pee part of this is a big deal.

33:54 Caller Yeah, I just don't want to expect, I just don't know what to expect or if I should expect anything at all.

34:01 Drew Sexually? Yeah, why not? Try. I mean, work with him. He obviously will want to try. I'm sure.

34:06 Adam Well, plus the fact that nothing wrong with the guy's mouth, right?

34:12 Drew He'll become...

34:13 Adam Yeah. You know how blind people's sense of hearing gets you out of gear?

34:17 James Marsters Go watch Coming Home, man. There's a sexy scene about that.

34:20 Adam He'll do you up like a rattlesnake. All right, baby doll. All right, thank you. All right, good times. Well, you know. Well, what if... I'm trying to go out on a high note, Drew. Hey, it takes all kinds. What goes on with the poo-poo and the pee-pee and that?

34:40 Drew Well, you got to get on a bowel program. Because it doesn't really happen.

34:43 Adam I'd like to sign up for that.

34:45 Drew And then the pee-pee is all variables. Many of them just wear a catheter chronically. And then they get the current infections and the skin breaks down and blah, blah, blah.

34:52 Adam All right.

34:53 Drew So, we're quite a deal. They have to learn how to deal with it.

34:55 Adam You know, if I had a constant catheter, I'd be pushing for road trips, you know, because I could really feel good about myself.

35:02 Drew You mean you wouldn't have to stop.

35:03 Adam Yeah. Why don't we grab a keger and let's just drive straight on through to Oregon, fellas. Well, we're going to need. Well, I don't need to stop.

35:14 Caller You need it?

35:14 Adam You want a cath? You want to try the cathie?

35:17 James Marsters You'll never go back.

35:18 Adam Once you go cath.

35:20 Caller All right.

35:21 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break.

35:23 Caller All right.

35:24 Adam I want to get a little plug in, Drew.

35:25 Drew For?

35:26 Adam Well, I got a couple of things. Uh-oh. Yeah. First, we got the... And I expect... Oh, well, now, this is going to conflict with James' knitting factory gig, so I can't invite James. But down the street at the Arc Light Theater is the Italian Film Festival and Windy City Heat, the movie we produce, is going to be showing there Saturday night. So, you can go to the arclight.com, whatever their web page is, and get whatever information you need.

35:56 Drew Also... You guys are producers?

35:58 Adam Me guys, meaning Jimmy, basically. Also, Sunday, whatever that thing I hosted for Comedy Central... The two-hour special or whatever, Sunday. I don't know what time.

36:11 Drew And then these guys may be on Sunday.

36:12 Adam I haven't spoken to anybody. Oh, look at Drew, everybody. Yeah, the Bobbsie twins are going to be in here. Well, maybe, maybe the Olsen twins are coming Sunday. What do you think, Drew?

36:24 Drew I bet you they do.

36:25 Adam Wow. So here's a picture of Dr. Drew. You see this, James? There's a picture of Dr. Drew from the new Olsen twins movie. Yeah, Papa Drew. What can't he do? I mean, we already know he can't do radio.

36:41 Drew One of the things I can't do, we're going to find out what they are.

36:44 James Marsters Oh my God. Welcome to our freaky fold.

36:48 Drew Look, motherf**ker, I'm telling you.

36:50 Adam Oh yeah. Drew, he...

36:53 James Marsters You look good, man. That's a good face for film.

36:55 Adam Yeah, Drew's... Yes, you can do that. He's very, very easy on the eyes. Very easy.

37:00 James Marsters You have nice eyes.

37:01 Adam He's tough. He's a bitch on the ears, but he's great. You look good in the suit, man.

37:07 Caller Yeah, he looks good in the suit.

37:09 Drew You could play a lot of things in the suit. I'm playing the dad.

37:12 Adam He's here.

37:13 James Marsters Rock on. I thought you were like the lawyer or something. You're the dad.

37:17 Adam No, he's their daddy. That's like a big part. Who's your daddy?

37:22 Caller So you want to be an actor?

37:24 Adam No. No, he was recruited. He was recruited. Don't worry. Also, he'll be playing at the Troubadour Saturday night, James, about the same time your band's going on.

37:33 James Marsters I'm not going to sell any tickets, man.

37:36 Adam James Marsters is here tonight, Spike from Angel and of course, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We'll take a quick break and we'll be right back. I'll be right back.

37:54 Caller Hey, yo, it's Loveline.

37:56 James Marsters I'm Adam.

37:56 Adam That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. James Marsters here tonight from Angel. You know, Ms. Spike took that rollover from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, six seasons, slid it right over in Angel.

38:13 James Marsters Just squeezing that for every drop of money I can get.

38:17 Caller Like a bar rag.

38:18 James Marsters Just not gonna let go of that bone.

38:20 Adam No, but it's been a pretty good bone, right?

38:22 James Marsters Oh man, yeah.

38:24 Adam What's the schedule when you do something like Buffy? I mean, how many months out of a year are you working, a calendar year?

38:33 James Marsters It's nine and a half, and it's five days a week, 12, never less than 12, but 12 to 15.

38:39 Drew So you're working, you're working. Adam did one week of that. He did one week of that, and oh my God.

38:43 James Marsters It's real work.

38:44 Drew You've never heard, my kids when they were infants didn't whine like that.

38:47 James Marsters It'll spin your head.

38:50 Drew Yeah, we did Dawson's Creek one week.

38:51 Adam Oh yeah.

38:52 Drew One week Adam did that. That's a long time. And every night, I'll need 50 grand next time I do something like this. Yeah, you get, yeah.

38:59 Adam Wait a minute, how much did they pay me?

39:01 Drew 50, that's for sure.

39:02 Adam Oh really? Now I'm angry. Now I'm really angry.

39:05 James Marsters My brother moved down here and expected me.

39:06 Adam 50 grand, that's it.

39:07 James Marsters That's what you said.

39:08 Adam I gotta get more than that.

39:10 James Marsters No, that's nothing.

39:11 Adam It's nothing.

39:12 James Marsters No, my brother moved down here and he expected to spend a lot of time with me and he finally got frustrated. He goes, dude, you are a slave. And I was like, yeah, you got it. I'm an indentured servant. I prefer, but yeah. And that's the real work.

39:24 Drew Except 180% of that 12 hours is spent leaning up against the truck with the truck drivers.

39:33 Adam Yeah, I know, except for you need to be there. And that's the part that busts your trust.

39:38 Drew There's also that part where they take the tape from the camera and measure it to your face. It takes about an hour, doesn't it?

39:44 James Marsters Yeah. And then you have to be spontaneous after that. No, the way we shoot Angela, the director of photography is so fast. He's from Australia, Ross Bergman, and he did Dead Calm.

39:55 Drew Oh yeah.

39:56 James Marsters And he lights in like 10 minutes, five minutes. So all of the time is not spent in your trailer waiting for them to be ready, like you'd kind of hope. You know, that's kind of the Hollywood dream. No, it's actually spent on the set with more takes. So I gotta say, Buffy was like that. Buffy was 40 minutes to change a lens or anything, and that was great. Drew, you ever see my guitar most of the time?

40:18 Adam You ever see Dead Calm? No, no. You should see that movie. It's a good movie. Nicole Kidman.

40:25 James Marsters It's about a murder on a boat. Nicole Kidman, Sam Neill.

40:28 Adam But here's the whole thing, the whole, I mean, 98% of the movie, except for a little flashback or something, takes place out at sea. And you're usually used to being out at sea when it's, you know, high seas and, you know, all this sort of, captains and everything. This is, this is Doldrums, just, just Dead Come, as the title would state. But very interesting.

40:54 James Marsters Yeah, but shot really well. And when you think about it, not that easy to shoot, interestingly, that's because Dead Come.

40:59 Adam No, no, Drew, go see it. It's a thriller.

41:01 Drew When did it come out?

41:02 James Marsters Oh man, years ago. It was like the movie that brought Sam Neill to a lot of people's minds, I think.

41:07 Adam Drew thinks that's a chick, by the way, so. Don't talk to him about actors. Nicole Kidman, you'll like her in this. It would have probably been about 12, 13 years. Err, what name is that for her?

41:19 Drew Ariadne.

41:20 Yeah.

41:21 Adam Ariadne.

41:21 Drew Ariadne of Noxus. You're, right?

41:24 Adam You're 12?

41:25 Caller Yeah.

41:26 Adam What's up?

41:26 Drew Your parents are opera fans or something?

41:29 Caller No.

41:30 Drew Greek mythology fans?

41:33 Caller No, I'm just like, Ariadne is like the ancient Greek princess or whatever.

41:38 Drew Yes, that's what I said.

41:40 Caller No, no. Yeah, I mean, yeah.

41:42 Caller Hello?

41:43 Caller Okay, go ahead.

41:49 Drew That's probably more likely to be milk than pus. Are you on medication?

41:53 Caller No.

41:54 Drew Is there any chance you're pregnant?

41:56 Caller No.

41:57 Drew You smoke a lot of pot?

41:58 Caller No.

42:00 Drew Well, you gotta tell your doctor about this. It may be something normal, maybe nothing, but to have milk production at your age is pretty unusual. The most common reason actually would be medication.

42:12 Caller It's not white or anything.

42:14 Drew I know, that's what milk, females, they produce milk, it's pretty clear. Oh, really?

42:18 Adam Yeah.

42:19 Caller It's like lumps, it's like not coming out of the actual nipple, it's like lumps around it. Like on it, but not like, you know.

42:30 Adam And not the actual, not the high point, not the button. All right, Drew, talking to, well first off, just trying to pronounce her name, really trying to pronounce her name is all you need to know about her, because everything feels like a handball against the drapes. She's 12.

42:50 Drew I know, I know.

42:51 Adam She's lactating prematurely.

42:52 Drew Yeah, it needs to be checked out. I mean, there could be tumor, brain tumors and things associated with this. Oh yeah. Oh yes.

43:00 Adam Really?

43:00 Drew Most definitely. Thyroid conditions.

43:03 Adam She needs to get checked out.

43:04 Drew Absolutely. You need to go to your doctor and talk to them about it.

43:06 Adam Who's Ariadne?

43:09 Drew I can't remember the story.

43:10 Adam Greek mythology?

43:11 Drew Yeah, Ariadne of Noxus. There was a famous Strauss opera about it.

43:15 Caller Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Amita.

43:21 Drew Amita?

43:22 Adam Amita with a M?

43:24 Caller Yeah, it's Amita.

43:26 Adam All right, hold on a second. I gotta say this for a second. Listen, all you a-hole parents out there, give your kids these crappy, stupid, confusing names. Please stop it. I had to do this God-forsaken show today with a guy named Govind, okay? And it's like, there were, I swear to Christ, there were like, there were 10 people I was working with, right? There was like a Robert, and a Cheryl, and a Susie, and a Sam, and a Steve, and Govind. I spent the entire time, because I was hosting a thing, and it was like, all right, Bobby, what'd you think of this? And Cheryl, and so I was sitting there the whole time. I spent the, the monopoly of my time, my day was monopolized with trying to figure out this guy's God damn name. Is it Dovind, Dovind, Davind, Stephen, Grovind, Govind, Govind? Now, okay, the guy's a nice guy and everything, but it's really, it's really intrusive for you to take your effed up name and have everyone spend the majority of their day trying to figure it out. And it takes up way too much time. And then, and then see with, here's the real, at least Govind doesn't mean anything. It's just confusing and no one can ever memorize it. And by the way, here's why people can't memorize your name. It's not a name. You know, what if I just said, hey, what's your name? I just made like a Jerry Lewis, it's an amazing thing. Yeah, you're going to be able to remember that? No, it's nothing.

44:50 James Marsters Yes, there's no reference.

44:51 Adam And by the way, I can't, yeah, I can't go, oh, you know, my uncle's name, eh, eh, eh. No, it's nothing. So, what do you have to do? You have to focus, focus. But now, at least the guy I'm working with today, A, nice guy, B, owns a nice restaurant, so that guy kisses his ass. But C, it doesn't mean anything, it's not connected.

45:11 Drew I think it's like Plato's brother's name or something, seriously.

45:14 Adam All right, for me, that's still nothing. I'm from North Hollywood. I'm barely like Plato, what's his name's dog.

45:21 Drew But it's funny, it's all these Greek things tonight.

45:23 Adam Here's now, Amita over here, every single day of her life, here's what it is.

45:28 Drew Amita?

45:29 Adam Yeah, no, no, it's not Anita, it's Amita.

45:32 Drew I think you can take all those seconds that you wasted in your life, Amita.

45:36 Adam You learn to speak Mandarin, Chinese, and play the guitar like Jimi Hendrix. Because every single person you meet, hi, my name's Amita. Oh, Anita, it's nice to meet you. No, no, Amita. You just have to correct every single person. And then if you read it like we are, we're sitting here reading, oh, it's a typo. Yeah. It must be a typo. Is it Amita, Anita, Amita, everybody? Listen, Amita.

46:04 Caller I've never hated my name so much in my life.

46:06 Adam Change it to Anita and kick your dad right in the nuts for me, if you would.

46:10 Drew Hold on, hold on, maybe we gotta take a break, Amita.

46:13 Adam Please go with Anita.

46:14 Caller Okay, why not?

46:15 Adam Listen, Amita, you wanna be my favorite person in the world? Here's all you need to do. All you need to do is every time somebody calls you Anita, do not correct them.

46:24 Caller I usually don't, but you guys actually have to say it.

46:27 Adam I love you. Yeah, now, if it's a guy you think you're gonna spend the rest of your life with, don't correct him either. No, go ahead and correct him. But if the chick at the DMV, leave her alone.

46:36 Caller Yeah, I don't really care what people call me. I don't care, so.

46:39 Caller Good girl, good girl, hold on.

46:40 Adam All right, I'm coming around on this Amita. James Marsters here tonight from Angel. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back.

46:48 Caller Here it is, Bottom Line, it sucks being single today.

46:52 Caller Tons of lame people and no decent prospects.

46:54 Call the Dateline, call the Dateline, call the Dateline.

46:56 Caller 1-877-889-DATE.

47:02 James Marsters Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready.

47:28 Adam Phone number 1-800-LLV-E-191, James Marsters is here tonight.

47:33 James Marsters Yeah, and Amita.

47:35 Adam You know him as a, oh yeah. Spike.

47:39 James Marsters Yeah.

47:39 Adam Lot of spike in years. My angel, nine o'clock on the wwwwwb. Wednesday nights, four more episodes coming up, and then that's it, unless you fans get off your ever winding asses and start writing some letters.

47:56 James Marsters And watch next week, because it's absolutely fabulous. Angel and Spike get made into the most fabulous c**ls and asses for a whole hour. And it's... Yeah, we get made big fools of, both Spike and Angel get made total fools of the whole episode, and it's really hilarious. And I had fun filming it, so that's going to be really good.

48:20 Adam Amita?

48:20 Caller Oh, yeah, I'm here.

48:22 Adam All right, baby doll, what's up? Seventeen.

48:24 Caller Okay, I'm seventeen. My friends started a Self-Metalators Anonymous meeting, and there's only like six in the world. There's barely any.

48:33 Drew Did you hear us talking about that last night?

48:35 Caller What's that?

48:36 Drew We were talking about this last night, whether or not there was 12 Step for Cutting.

48:39 Caller Yeah, there's barely any. Yeah, I heard you guys talking about it for a couple seconds, but I didn't get to listen for very long last night.

48:44 Adam All right, but did that inspire your meeting?

48:46 Drew No, no.

48:47 Caller Oh, no, no, it's been on for months now. It's been a couple months.

48:51 Adam Your friend started it.

48:52 Caller Yeah, and there's a few other meetings. She had gone to one that's around here and she didn't like it. They weren't very serious about it and stuff.

49:00 Drew The idea is that 12 Step is a good way to help contain behaviors that are highly driven behaviors that are difficult to contain with any kind of use of your will.

49:10 Adam So you can take the 12 Step model and apply it to just about anything.

49:14 Caller Just about anything, yeah.

49:15 Adam What about me peeing in the sink?

49:17 Caller Yeah. I mean, there's another meaning for us that's the clutters and things.

49:20 Adam What clutters?

49:21 Drew Well, I think 12 Step can be overdone, you know, but I wouldn't look to it as a primary treatment for cluttering, but if people are having difficulty, it's a way to get support, a way to process things emotionally.

49:37 Caller It helps those people, right?

49:38 Drew Well, I can see definitely. I see most severely addictive behaviors as what I call a bid for affect regulation. People who have deficiencies in their ability to regulate their emotional systems and 12 Step is a way to regain the ability to regulate and feel whole and feel good about yourself.

49:54 Adam All right. So let's break that down for a second. If you're shooting heroin or cutting on yourself or needing a crap beat out of you when your boyfriend's up to poop shoot, that is a need to sort of control your, you call it affect.

50:11 Drew Your feelings. And by feelings, it's almost too narrow a concept.

50:15 Adam But it's trying to regulate, trying to take hold of something.

50:18 Drew Yes, to regulate, to feel whole, to feel good.

50:20 Adam Yeah. But it's almost like by creating another very drastic feeling, you're controlling your feelings.

50:26 Drew You might. Yes. Some other uncontainable feeling may not be always aware of is sort of satisfied or gratified or deferred or something. Right.

50:33 Adam And so the 12 step is a good way to satiate that.

50:37 Drew Rebuild. Rebuild so you don't need to do those things anymore.

50:40 James Marsters Yeah. Because it gives you extra support that you can't give yourself.

50:43 Drew Well, it's actually it's the that's the meeting part. But the actual 12 stepping, the actual doing the 12 step with the sponsor is a therapeutic process. It's just a controlled structured relationship. And it turns out that humans build their emotional systems through dyadic exchanges. I have an interesting question.

51:00 Caller What?

51:00 Adam Dyadic?

51:00 Drew Through interactive, intersubjective, interpersonal experiences.

51:03 Adam Oh, but again, Drew, what is the step I hate?

51:05 Drew All of them, I believe.

51:06 Caller I know.

51:06 Adam But what's my least favorite?

51:08 Drew Oh, the making amends.

51:10 Adam The eighth or ninth?

51:11 Drew Yeah, I think it's eight steps.

51:12 Adam That's where people call me.

51:13 Drew Yeah.

51:14 Adam Hey, man. Who is this? This is John. John who? You know who this is. I've had those. Hey, dude. What's up? I haven't seen you since that party. Yeah.

51:25 Caller That's what I want to talk about.

51:28 Adam Yeah. Well, I'm kind of watching TV now.

51:30 Caller Yeah.

51:30 Adam Listen, I'm sorry for what I tried to do to you, man. It's cool, dude. I don't really want to relive it. No, it's not cool. What I did was wrong. Well, anyway, I'm going to get back to Survivor now, because it's been some years since we did.

51:46 Caller Yeah.

51:46 Adam No, man. Listen, brother, I want to apologize. No, no, no.

51:51 Caller Harm.

51:51 Adam No, foul.

51:52 Caller Yes, foul.

51:54 Adam This is now more uncomfortable than whatever it is you actually did to me nine years ago that you're calling about, because at least I was high when you were doing that, too.

52:03 James Marsters I've forgotten it already.

52:04 Caller I forgot all about it.

52:05 Adam Now I'm sober and this is weird.

52:07 Drew I have a question.

52:09 Adam Let's just create a drive-through or a dummy or a hologram or something they can talk to other than actually confronting the person that they screwed with.

52:17 Drew A men's Obi-Wan doll.

52:19 Adam Yeah, it's just a hologram and you just put whatever face you want on it. Jim Coach, old girlfriend, dad, babysitter, whoever you got to apologize to. Korean liquor store owner, whoever you need to make amends to, go ahead and just apologize your ass off. I can keep drinking, feeling good about myself, and we don't have to have this weird stilted... And here's the other thing that people discount. When you know somebody's really effed up, it makes it easier on you. Like when people are coming up, dude, I love you, and you're going like, okay, he's not going to remember this tomorrow morning at school. But when he's sober and he's getting into that weird, hey, man, I got to... No, this is important to me, man, because I just want to say I'm sorry, especially when the voice starts cracking. I've done a lot of things I'm not too proud of, that's all I'm talking about, is this one of them? How about, what's the step where you call and apologize for this?

53:12 James Marsters We need a 13th step.

53:13 Adam We need a 13th step where you then call back and apologize for the 9th step. That's very uncomfortable, Drew, especially when you've got as many drunken friends as I do. Oh, yeah. I get those calls all day long. I now have my assistant field them. Tell Adam.

53:32 Hello.

53:34 Adam Hello, buddy.

53:34 Caller Florida.

53:35 Caller All right.

53:36 Adam You there?

53:37 Caller Yeah, I'm here.

53:38 Caller All right.

53:39 Adam Are you a virgin?

53:41 Caller Yes.

53:42 Caller Shocking.

53:44 Caller A brewery in blank claims that their beer has an erotic effect with men. For women, the owner claims they merely enjoy the sweet taste. And as for macho men, there's a two-liter version which allows men to, quote, fully participate in the bedroom after drinking the liquid Viagra.

54:02 Drew Now, this could be a little bit of a curve. It could be.

54:06 Adam Yes. Did this happen? Is this brewery in Germany or Florida?

54:10 Drew Right. You think brewery immediately, you think Germany, but he may be trying to trick us with that.

54:14 Adam He may. On the other hand, that would mean he was smart enough to attempt to trick us.

54:21 Drew And the story also called it liquid Viagra. We don't know if Viagra is called Viagra in Germany.

54:26 Adam Yes. But it comes in a two liter container, which soda comes in, but not beer to the best of mine.

54:35 Drew Not in this country.

54:35 Adam Knowledge. Yes. You get your 40 ounce that Snoop is famous for. Other than that, I don't think it comes in a liter container. I'm going Germany.

54:43 Drew I'm with you.

54:44 Adam James?

54:45 James Marsters Germany.

54:46 Adam Brian, we're going Germany.

54:47 Caller Yeah, it's Germany.

54:49 Adam Ding, ding. Best to stay away from the metric system, my friend.

54:52 Caller All right.

54:54 Caller One more thing.

54:55 Caller One more. All right.

54:56 Caller All right. You're the same person as Norm MacDonald.

54:58 Adam Yeah. Did he hang up?

55:01 Drew What does that mean?

55:02 Adam I don't know. I think Norm should be more upset than me.

55:05 Drew I think he means he both did death on the Family Guy.

55:08 Caller Don't you ever stop talking?

55:14 Adam I don't know. All I know is, I think Norm MacDonald, I think people confuse me with a Norm MacDonald and they also confuse me with Gilbert Godfrey and I'm much better with the Norm mixture. Although Gilbert, plenty funny and everything, but quite a few inches shorter than that.

55:30 James Marsters I'm glad to see the Gilbert thing. I get confused with James Marsden all the time. X-Men came out and everyone just thought I was fabulous and thank you, man.

55:41 Adam Write it out. Sophia?

55:44 James Marsters Yeah?

55:45 Adam You're 20?

55:47 Caller Yes.

55:47 Adam What's doing?

55:49 Caller Um, I don't feel penetration whatsoever and I was wondering if that's something's wrong with me.

55:57 Drew Do you have orgasm by other ways?

55:59 Caller Um, only from self-stimulation.

56:04 Drew Well, it may not be abnormal. There is a syndrome that some people get when they were sexually abused at a young age, particularly if the sexual abuse involved a painful experience where they do something called dissociation, they sort of disconnect from that part of their body that was the source of their pain. Those people also tend to be prone to getting pelvic pain syndromes and quote endometriosis and all this kind of stuff.

56:28 Adam Anything like that, Sophia?

56:30 Caller No.

56:31 Drew Right. So it may just be you. I mean, you just, by not feeling anything, do you mean you can't have an orgasm with intercourse or you feel numb?

56:40 Adam So you wouldn't know the difference between being in and being out?

56:46 Caller Right. Like, when a guy try, you know, fingers, anything, I don't feel anything. There's nothing.

56:53 Adam See, that is a, you know, I mean, here's the thing, if we're talking to someone and they're not having an orgasm, we hear that every night. Being numb, I mean, really not feeling anything is cause for some alarm.

57:07 Drew Yeah. Let's go a little further. Were you adopted or anything?

57:10 Caller No, I have happy family life.

57:14 Drew I understand, but this kind of thing, the stuff that causes this is usually very early in life, like the first couple of years. And no, nothing happened during those two years? No, nothing you're aware of, no stories in the family or? Well, that's just you.

57:30 Adam When did you lose your virginity?

57:34 Caller All right.

57:36 Adam No, so no problems, no abuse, nothing like that.

57:38 Caller Uh-uh.

57:39 Adam Huh, well, then, you're.

57:43 Drew But she has orgasms and she has, it just doesn't feel much with penetration.

57:47 Caller Running a few of them, my day.

57:49 Adam Yeah.

57:50 James Marsters Pay attention to the other part now.

57:53 Adam Yeah, how about oral sex? How would that be treating you?

57:57 Caller I've never had oral sex, like, done.

58:00 James Marsters Oh, it's good.

58:01 Adam Yeah.

58:02 Drew That's probably what's missing, I suspect.

58:04 Caller What? I'm a giver, not a receiver.

58:09 James Marsters Oh, yeah, I'm a receiver a little bit.

58:11 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Hold on a second. Then Drew's got to look on the puss. Because this makes it a little suspicious.

58:18 Drew Yeah, that's kind of an unusual.

58:20 Adam Not that unusual for a 20-year-old, but we're piggybacking it on to our initial suspicions.

58:26 James Marsters Yeah, a lot of guys don't like to do that, too. So it might just be what she's with.

58:32 Caller But I, yeah.

58:34 Adam No one likes to do it, but we pretend. The smart guys pretend.

58:37 Drew So you have a boyfriend now?

58:39 Caller No.

58:40 Drew Have you ever had a boyfriend?

58:42 Caller Yes.

58:43 Drew And how long was that relationship?

58:45 Caller I don't really do relationships.

58:54 Adam Did she use the f word there?

58:55 Drew I think she did.

58:56 Adam The funny thing about her f buddy sort of thing is it came out like suck buddy. So, yeah, she may beat us on a technicality. And I suppose if there can be f buddies, there can be suck buddy.

59:14 James Marsters No, it was definitely f. I think it was a bunny.

59:17 Drew Now I'm on to this. Let's get going here. All right.

59:19 Adam Hold on a second. Anderson, what was it?

59:21 Drew It was f. It was definitely f. Yeah.

59:24 Adam No, not definitely.

59:25 Drew Well, he heard on delay. He listened to it after.

59:27 Adam It was close. All right. She's got something going on.

59:31 Drew Find out what her parents do for a living.

59:34 Adam Sophia.

59:35 Caller Yeah.

59:37 Adam Listen, screwball. Stop dropping the f-bomb. Would you, you idiot?

59:41 Caller Sorry.

59:42 Adam Jesus Christ. Are you retarded? God damn it.

59:47 Caller All right.

59:47 Adam What do your parents do?

59:48 Caller I'm really horny.

59:50 Caller My dad is a salesman and my mom's an accountant.

59:56 Caller Aha.

59:58 Adam Drew knew it. Look, something's wrong with you because it started off with, hey, listen, your parents are great. Everything's great. Everything's fine. Everything's beautiful. And that sort of gave way to, I don't get, I give, and I don't have relationships. I'm an F buddy. And now.

1:00:16 Drew You drop the F biome. You can't get it. You don't know where you are.

1:00:19 Adam Red flags are popping up.

1:00:21 Drew Everywhere. Yeah.

1:00:22 Adam So what's up? Something's going on. Did your dad cheat on your mom?

1:00:26 Caller No, not at all. They've had a 20 year, you know, relationship and it's been, you know, perfect.

1:00:32 Adam Fueled by lies and alcohol?

1:00:35 Caller No, like, I mean, it hasn't been perfect.

1:00:38 Adam Look, so, okay, then you have a brain tumor if your parents were perfect because no 20 year old girl is supposed to be an F buddy.

1:00:46 Drew Especially when you, especially when Sophia, you get nothing from sex.

1:00:50 Caller Well, like, that's why, like, that's why I do all the stuff I do because I don't know, like, at first I thought it was maybe the guy.

1:00:57 Drew Sophia, here is why, here is why people sometimes get into this compulsive sexuality. They feel empty. It's the only way they feel whole and they get no satisfaction out of it, but they have to keep doing it compulsively and that is a sign of trauma and that's sort of what you're telling us here. That's something like that. That's sort of in you, that you have to keep doing it, keep doing it, but you can't be intimate, which is really what ultimately that's a bid for, you can't do that. So you have to keep trying to fill the void with these.

1:01:26 Adam I'm going to play another, I'm playing a different angle. Big gal?

1:01:31 Caller No.

1:01:31 Adam Not a big ass, huh?

1:01:34 Caller No? Okay.

1:01:35 Adam Now something is really up. All right, listen Sophia, I don't know what…

1:01:39 Drew We're just adding up the score.

1:01:41 Adam What's wrong with you?

1:01:43 James Marsters Yeah, and that's the thing, if something happened when you were really young, you would have covered it up. Yeah.

1:01:48 Drew It may just be implicit, implicitly left behind in your brain mechanisms and now manifesting as behaviors that you can't seem to understand or get a handle on or be used.

1:01:57 Adam Well, let's just assume everything was fine and dandy. Why don't you get yourself a relationship and start feeling that out and then when you get in a consistent monogamous relationship, you can have the guy go down on you and get some pleasure.

1:02:11 James Marsters Yeah, because he can learn how to please you.

1:02:13 Caller But I mean, I want it from like the...

1:02:17 Adam Something's wrong with her. Oh, well, listen, I got way too much time tied up in these kids. I was a carpenter, I had some pride, I had some dignity. Go home at the end of the day, hold my head up. Now I got to go home, crawl inside a jackpot, cry myself to sleep.

1:02:34 Drew All right, here's the... Whatever is up with Sophia, we're not able to get to in the few minutes we have here.

1:02:40 Adam But now, and all we're doing...

1:02:41 Drew Right, we're just adding up the score, and there's definitely some... The way she's trying to solve this problem ain't gonna work. Her idea, her concept of what she's looking for is going down the wrong path, that she's not gonna find satisfaction in the road she's on.

1:02:56 Adam I don't even know what her plan is.

1:02:59 Drew Well, I just want to find a guy that could just do this to me and I say... Well, her plan is just to F strangers until one of them breaks through. That's right.

1:03:11 Adam And I really mean it. Listen, guys are not girls. They're cut out differently. 20-year-old guys love to have a nice wake of F buddies left in their trail, but not 20-year-old girls.

1:03:25 Drew Well, 20-year-old can go through a phase like that.

1:03:27 Adam Yeah.

1:03:28 Drew But not with numbness and I don't do relationships and all that.

1:03:35 Adam Jenny?

1:03:36 Yeah.

1:03:37 Adam You're 19?

1:03:38 Caller Yes.

1:03:38 Adam What's happening?

1:03:40 Caller I was put on birth control not too long ago because I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts. And the birth control they put me on says that I'm more susceptible to yeast infections. And I've had, let's see, since I've been put on it, which was a few months ago, I've had maybe about three yeast infections. And I'm wondering if there's a way that I can avoid that. If there's anything I'm doing wrong.

1:04:05 Drew Are you using something intravaginally, a ring or something?

1:04:07 Caller No, it's a pill. It's Cariva, if you've ever heard of that.

1:04:12 Adam They got a yeast ring?

1:04:14 Drew No, they have hormones, things you can put inside and stuff sometimes.

1:04:17 Adam In the ring?

1:04:18 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:04:19 Caller I'm not using the ring.

1:04:21 Drew Yeah. Well, I'm not familiar with that medicine. What's it called?

1:04:25 Caller Cariva.

1:04:26 Drew How do you spell it?

1:04:26 Caller K-A-R-I-V-A.

1:04:30 Drew Okay, I'll go look up and see what that is.

1:04:33 Adam I guarantee Drew comes back and goes, Oh, that's... then you're going to be angry.

1:04:38 Drew I'm going to be angry? Yeah, that I didn't know what the real name was.

1:04:42 Adam No, you will have known it.

1:04:43 Drew Oh, really?

1:04:45 Caller Yeah, you'll know what it is.

1:04:47 Drew But be that as it may, you could just keep using the creams over the counter. That's all you can do. If you have something that's causing recurrent yeast infections and you've chosen to take that medicine, that's a potential side effect. There you go.

1:04:57 Caller The last one I had, though, was extreme. They put me on a pill of Diflucan.

1:05:01 Drew Yeah. Well, that's an anti-yeast medicine.

1:05:03 Caller Is that just more, what's the word, strong or something?

1:05:07 Drew Because I couldn't get that over the counter. You don't want to take that all the time. It's extremely powerful.

1:05:11 Caller No. It gave me a rash over 90% of my body. So it really...

1:05:14 Drew You don't ever want to take it again.

1:05:16 Caller Yeah, exactly.

1:05:17 Adam Once you get over 90% of your body, just go ahead and say, My whole body.

1:05:21 Caller Exactly.

1:05:22 Drew Scalp out.

1:05:23 Adam You're going to like 97%. I got a rash all over my body.

1:05:26 Drew Left your perideal out.

1:05:27 James Marsters But on the bright side...

1:05:27 Adam Inside of my right nostril was fine other than...

1:05:32 James Marsters You can explore other birth control if that's really given you a problem.

1:05:35 Drew Will you talk to James? Here's a question for James while I look this up.

1:05:37 Adam It's uncomfortable me and James here alone. I've got to be honest with you. Drew, please. All right. Look it up. Wow. So, James.

1:05:48 James Marsters Hey, man. How are you doing over there?

1:05:50 Adam It's great to have you back on the program. Oh, thank Christ.

1:05:53 Drew I noticed that Chris was looking at all the pictures of the Olsen twins here. Jesus, Chris.

1:05:57 Adam Engineer Chris just undressing himself with his mind.

1:06:03 James Marsters Dr. Drew hung out with the Olsen twins. How long were you there?

1:06:06 Drew A couple of weeks.

1:06:07 Adam In Canada. Dr. Drew with the Olsens.

1:06:10 James Marsters You are now the god of my band. They're in love with you.

1:06:14 Drew Oh, is that right? They're nice girls. Adam's going to be here this weekend. Next show.

1:06:18 Adam Yeah, this, well, actually, I'm seeing, I'm seeing Ashley Saturday.

1:06:22 Drew Oh, you're going out?

1:06:23 Adam Yeah.

1:06:23 Drew You'll like her.

1:06:24 Adam I mean, true. But they're coming in on Sunday. God willing. And look, I don't care if we get one of them or one and a half of them or three of them. I just want those god damn Olsen twins in here, Drew. Yes?

1:06:37 Drew Whatever you say. All right.

1:06:39 Adam Did you find that medication?

1:06:40 Drew I'm looking a lot. I got a real bit.

1:06:42 Adam I got a, I got a serious question over here for James from Dina. Dina?

1:06:49 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:06:49 Adam You're 18?

1:06:50 Caller Yeah, I am. First of all, I want to say Adam and Dr. Drew, you guys are awesome. I listen to you guys all the time. And second of all, James?

1:07:02 Adam Yeah.

1:07:03 Caller I just want to thank you so much. I don't know if you read the thing, but you kind of saved my life.

1:07:10 Adam How?

1:07:12 Caller This may sound kind of lame, but I was really depressed and kind of killed myself one day. And I happened to have Buffy on in the background. And it was a musical.

1:07:22 James Marsters Uh-huh.

1:07:23 Caller And so James, when you said that one line, it was, Life's not a song, life isn't bliss. Life is just this, it's living. You'll get along. The pain that you feel only can heal by living. I realized that I shouldn't kill myself.

1:07:47 James Marsters Right on.

1:07:48 Caller So I've been trying to actually talk to you for a while. I went to the Ghost of the Robot concert when you were in San Francisco at the Great American Music Hall. And tried to talk to you then, but you were kind of like in that.

1:08:01 James Marsters It's just a crazy situation. There's just a lot of people around at that point.

1:08:05 Adam When you're rocking, you know what I mean, you don't got time.

1:08:09 Caller Yeah.

1:08:09 James Marsters But man, that's, I mean, that's, I mean, I'm a part of a very large group to tell stories. And that's, we really do think that we're talking about real things. And that makes me really happy that it gave you a little extra bit that you needed that day.

1:08:27 Adam You have a decent voice too, Dina.

1:08:31 Caller Thank you.

1:08:32 Adam You do any singing?

1:08:37 Caller But a couple of my friends have made fun of me for my voice before.

1:08:42 Adam Yeah.

1:08:43 Caller I don't know if they're just kidding or I actually have a crappy voice, but I guess not.

1:08:46 James Marsters Yeah, no, you have a good voice.

1:08:49 Adam See you at karaoke.

1:08:52 Caller Yeah.

1:08:52 Adam Good times, baby doll.

1:08:54 Caller Yeah.

1:08:54 James Marsters Or get on to a radio show where you can be like a morning DJ. You got one of those ways.

1:08:59 Adam Alright, so you haven't killed yourself. You want to be a guest on Loveline?

1:09:04 Caller Sure, why not?

1:09:05 Adam Listen, I got to say something. If we put everyone who thought about killing themselves but didn't on the show, we would have several thousand guests a night. Yes, Drew?

1:09:13 Drew Yes.

1:09:14 Adam Drew is locked into that computer now.

1:09:16 Caller Not finding anything, buddy?

1:09:18 Drew It's not popping right out of me here. It's here, but it's hard to find information on it.

1:09:23 Adam I got a story that's pretty close to Dina's over here. When I was 18, I heard the song, Man Eater by Hall and Oates, and tried to kill myself. I actually tried to drive the car off the cliff, and then I realized I could just shut the radio by turning the knob. At first, I thought I was just going to ram the car.

1:09:40 James Marsters Or Spirit of the Night by Man for Man. Remember that?

1:09:43 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:09:45 Adam There's a lot of bad stuff going on down there. You know what I was thinking about the other day, a song that Blue Big Chode? Chomps. Yeah. It's Dirty Laundry. Kick them when they're up, kick them when they're down. Once in a while, I don't know which eagle is responsible for that piece. Henley. It's one of the eagles creating a seagull crap. It's basically ironically. Once in a while, I walk down the halls here and into the 93-1 here at Pipe Down, the studio here, the classic oldie station up the hall, and I hear that song and I just, I want to just put an explosive vest on to me like a Shiite and extremist and just go into the studio and take everyone out.

1:10:41 James Marsters There were good songs that year too.

1:10:43 Adam Oh, that dirty laundry song, just makes me want to, a combination between wanting to just vomit and attack somebody like some program director that got too much blow put in front of him. Let me just say that.

1:10:55 James Marsters No, the sad truth is that the people, there's people that, that's their favorite song. That's the sad, I mean kind of frustrating part of it.

1:11:02 Adam I know people. But, you know, okay, let me just say this. Let me say that, Drew, stop looking that thing up. I'm done with you with that. That's over already.

1:11:10 Drew Time for a break, isn't it?

1:11:11 Adam I'm saying something important. I need you to focus on me over here. Let me explain, let me explain something. People are stupid. They really are. Look, if you hit them long enough and hard enough with just about anything, you can get people involved with it. That doesn't mean it's good. That just means their brains are malleable. If you take a god-awful song like Dirty Laundry, a flaming turd of a piece of ass of song and ram it up people's ass long enough, eventually they'll like it. They'll like it like Mom's Familiar Cooking that wasn't that good in the first place. They just have memories attached to it. It becomes like the Pete Ellis Dodge theme song. I sing it. I don't even know. I know all the words to Dirty Laundry. That song sucks ass.

1:11:57 James Marsters We have memories connected to it too because it's been forced down our throat.

1:12:00 Adam I would like to sue the program directors, Don Henley. I'd like to sue anyone of the engineer, anyone involved with that song. I want my life back.

1:12:09 James Marsters I love your passion for music, Matt. You should be a musician.

1:12:11 Adam I don't like good music. I only hate bad music. That's my passion. My passion is for songs like Man Eater and Dirty Laundry that we've had forced up our ass and people try to defend. They're like, oh, that was a good song. Yeah, Hall and Oates. Jesus Christ. The band is revered. They write songs like Family Man. Think about those songs and how badly they blew everybody.

1:12:34 Caller But they had so many hits.

1:12:36 Adam Please, the Eagles, please, enough with you guys. Did you retire already and all that crap and your solo crap? Here's the thing, too. Eagles, three good songs, 30 horrible songs.

1:12:47 James Marsters Hotel California was okay.

1:12:49 Adam I could go on for an hour and a half. Drew's still over there, transfixed by the computer. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:12:59 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:13:05 Adam Hey, buddy. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew over there, James Marsters. From, well, you know, I'm a spike from Buffy, and now from Angel. Wednesday nights, 9 o'clock, www.wb. Yes, Drew.

1:13:32 Drew What?

1:13:32 Adam You find out anything?

1:13:33 Drew Yeah, it's Merced. It's a low dose birth control pill. Not necessarily prone to yeast infection, but any of them can.

1:13:42 Adam Mm-hmm. Saw The Darkness on Kimmel's show the other night.

1:13:46 Drew How'd that go?

1:13:47 Adam Not great. Shocked. The Darkness copped a little attitude and walked off our show on Tuesday, and then I saw him performing live, and I was curious, and I was trying to go in with an open mind. Didn't sound too great live.

1:14:02 Drew Were they interviewed by Jimmy or anything?

1:14:03 Adam No.

1:14:04 Drew No. They're too important for that or?

1:14:07 Adam Hard to tell, but it's tough with bands on TV. I'm going to give them that. Band plays Saturday Night Live and stuff. It's never quite as good as when you're in the audience. But talked to a few folks over at the show and said, was it just me or did darkness sound a little bit sucky on Wednesday night? They were like, yeah, not great. So I thought, oh, good.

1:14:32 Drew I wouldn't think it would be what the record company would want, is a band walking off a show like this.

1:14:38 James Marsters It's amazing how many people, even in normal clubs, will do pre-recorded stuff for their lead vocal and will be absolutely cheating. I've been playing clubs around everywhere. I've been amazed by how much cheating there is.

1:14:49 Drew That's weird.

1:14:51 James Marsters I'm like, dude, it's such a ripoff.

1:14:53 Adam By the way, I don't know, but if you're going to see a live concert, I mean, there's all kinds of rules like if you're doing a game show. You know what I mean? It's like, well, wait a minute. It's just a TV show. No, no, no. There's very strict rules if you're playing a game show. To me, if you're going to see a live concert.

1:15:13 James Marsters It should be, as they say, not pre-recorded.

1:15:15 Adam The band pre-records things. I was watching some of the Britney Spears special on HBO or whatever the other week. There's this whole scene where I was watching the whole thing and I was like, looks like she's lip syncing half this stuff. Then there was a part where she sprinted up a huge flight of stairs and got to stop. Now, here's the thing. Try singing and sprinting up 28 stairs simultaneously with your skipping every other step and see if it doesn't make your voice go, just a little bit and then get to the top and hit the high note without.

1:15:47 Drew Microphone to itch in your mouth.

1:15:49 Adam You got one mic up the took eye and the others up your nostril and you're sprinting up a long flight of stairs and there's not a ounce of breath or whatever to it. It's like, and I thought to myself, I was more angry at the bad choreography than I was at the lip syncing. Like I was like, look, do not put shelf in a dunk tank. Yeah, cause it's so obvious in the lip syncing. Don't run in place and do Tae Bo.

1:16:15 James Marsters Let the background people do all that phonetic dancing so that you can sing. But they have computers where if you go off the note of the melody, it will kick in the pre-recorded melody until you get back on track.

1:16:28 Drew Really?

1:16:28 James Marsters Oh, it's just obscene.

1:16:30 Adam We gotta get one of those for the show.

1:16:31 Drew Absolutely.

1:16:32 James Marsters Every time you say something you wish you didn't say.

1:16:34 Adam It's stupid and it just kicks in. Corolla's telling another high school football story. It just slides in. Drew's about to punch the mic again.

1:16:43 Drew Maybe we'll just put sort of an electrical shock device in our seats.

1:16:47 Adam No.

1:16:48 Drew If we start getting on track.

1:16:49 Adam No, I like this one much better. Yeah, I just, you can't sprint up a bunch of stairs and singing all the while and never hear it in your voice with the mic three chords of any from your mouth. All right. And you do by the way, when people are singing, you hear them, you know, doing the thing.

1:17:06 James Marsters Yeah, but that's the fun of it is that they might make a mistake actually, because it's live. That's dangerous and that's exciting, I think.

1:17:12 Adam Yeah, I don't understand kids today, Drew, but what do I need them for?

1:17:17 Caller I just do a radio show where we talk to them. Chris?

1:17:20 Caller Yes.

1:17:21 Adam You're 21?

1:17:22 Caller What's up? Yeah, so I would imagine that at 21 years old, I would have a pretty healthy libido, right? I mean, that would be-

1:17:33 Adam Sure, sure, Chris, you're right, absolutely.

1:17:36 Caller And I've found that the past few times that when I am in an intimate situation with a female, I don't get an erection and I don't really feel-

1:17:47 Drew Well, what's said female is the possibility that it's like-

1:17:51 Adam All right, you're up in your head, Chris.

1:17:53 Drew Yeah, like a robot.

1:17:54 Adam You can crack a brew and maybe take a little toke off a joint.

1:17:58 Drew Are you nervous? Are you nervous when you're with the girls?

1:18:03 Caller No, I mean, I really enjoy being with them, so.

1:18:08 Adam Okay, all right, here's what Chris needs. I was looking to call for James coming up.

1:18:13 Caller Too much alcohol?

1:18:15 Adam No, no, he's a clean guy. He needs a steady girl that he can work things out with and get his confidence level up with.

1:18:24 James Marsters I think that most guys are the same way. Most guys, really, if we're honest about it, I mean, we can go and do the stud thing and have sex with a stranger, but we really enjoy it much more when you get to know somebody. Am I wrong about it? No, not too well. We just don't admit it because we don't want to say that's the macho thing is not to say that, but it's kind of normal.

1:18:42 Adam Well, look, what it is, is there's a point where you're getting to know somebody and you're feeling comfortable. It's new and you're comfortable. So here's the problem. Either it's new and it's great, but you're uncomfortable or it's comfortable and it's old. There's this sort of part where they cross, usually about week five.

1:19:02 Drew Men actually have a biological drive for diversity. And new.

1:19:06 Caller Tell you, the chicken story?

1:19:08 Adam Old lady listening? Yeah, tell the story. Drew asked a bunch of chickens in the cool.

1:19:15 Drew And the 43rd president. Yes, it's after the president from back in the turn of the century. And basically the federal government used to maintain farms. And they used to take the president around once a year to inspect the farms. And this president Coolidge came around. He and his wife were inspecting the farm. They separated and they were going through the farms. The farmer took Mrs. Coolidge over the chicken coop and one day held up his prize rooster and said, Mrs. Coolidge, understand this is our prize rooster. He copulates at least 100 times a day. The farmer was very proud. Mrs. Coolidge looks at the rooster and says, Ms. Vera, please be sure to point that out to the president. So now she goes on about her business and now the president comes along and now the farmer is still proud but a little more subdued about things. And he goes, Mr. Coolidge, your wife asked me please to point out that this is our prize rooster and he copulates at least 100 times a day. At which point the president said, with the same chicken? No, with 100 different chickens.

1:20:11 Adam Thank you, Calvin.

1:20:12 Drew Yeah.

1:20:13 Caller All right.

1:20:15 Adam God, yes. Drew, and let me say this, Drew's only good story.

1:20:19 Caller Yeah.

1:20:20 Adam I mean, that's a winner for you.

1:20:21 Drew That's a winner. Lots of mileage.

1:20:23 Adam No, I hear it. I hear it only about once every 14, 15 months and I enjoy it.

1:20:29 James Marsters I got to say that.

1:20:30 Adam People are too quick to do that. I've heard this one. No, I always enjoy it when Drew tells us.

1:20:36 James Marsters If you have discipline in every 14 months, then every two months.

1:20:40 Adam For a drop down to a year, I think it would be too much trouble. All right. So who the hell? What the hell? Who the hell?

1:20:47 Drew Five.

1:20:47 Adam Yeah. He's got to... Oh, Chris.

1:20:50 Drew I think he's got to work it out with somebody. Yeah.

1:20:52 Adam Guys need that chick. They can get... Here it is. This is the chick you take your shower with, your first shower with. You know what I mean?

1:20:59 Drew Is it the fart?

1:21:00 Adam You walk around naked. You break wind in front of you. You try a few different positions in front of this is that we, you know, you have sex in a weird place or you get a little oral on the road. This is the one you work all that stuff out with. Yeah. That's what you need. Now, once you do that with one chick and you kind of work it all out.

1:21:19 James Marsters You know where the buttons are.

1:21:20 Adam Then you know where everything is.

1:21:22 Drew How old should a couple be when they're getting that workout one in?

1:21:26 Adam Should the guy or the girl or whoever? 17. Now I was going to say, it usually works out this way.

1:21:35 Drew 17 to 22. It's a range.

1:21:37 Adam You have that relationship. You know, you have that girlfriend, boyfriend in high school. Maybe you do it a couple of times, but it doesn't. It's not experimental. It's just you're lucky to be doing anything. You know, that's the one where you're lucky to be going off the three meter board. You might as well just do a cannonball. You know, you don't want to get any triple pike to have twist crap, right? Somewhere around 19 or 20, it's time to start experimenting. It's time to pull out the vibrator, go, you know, start working the back door. You know, that kind of, you know, and the comfort level, too. That thing, you know, it's weird because for a while you're humping, but you can't see each other naked, like you can't walk around nude. You know, this is that walk around nude person. You know, take the shower, walk into the living room, that kind of thing.

1:22:22 James Marsters Yeah, someone who's kind of your own age, so you're kind of going through the same thing at the same time.

1:22:26 Adam This is the first person you take on a small trip, like a weekender, and then you're going up to Santa Barbara for a couple of days. Yeah.

1:22:34 Caller All right.

1:22:35 Adam Chris?

1:22:36 Caller Yes.

1:22:37 Adam You're 23?

1:22:38 Caller Yes, I am.

1:22:39 Caller What's up?

1:22:40 Caller I had a question for Dr. Drew, actually. I was told, well, in high school, I was always told condoms are safe, they'll protect you from all STDs or most STDs, I should say. But one of my friends was telling me that HIV can actually go through the skin of a condom. It's a small enough organism that it can go through.

1:23:01 Drew That is a concern. That's not been proven, but people have had concerns about that.

1:23:05 Caller Oh, so it can happen.

1:23:07 Drew Well, no, I didn't say it could. I said people are concerned that it might be the case.

1:23:11 Adam Oh, now they're concerned about that with latex condoms?

1:23:14 Drew With latex condoms, but clearly it's a lower risk than if you didn't use the condom. The question is, how good of a barrier is it?

1:23:23 Adam Because it's like any kind of filter in that there'd be less dirty air coming through the filter than if you removed it completely. I mean, even more so than that.

1:23:33 Drew Or less likely for there to be anything getting through. It was a possibility it could get through, but they don't know that it gets through.

1:23:39 James Marsters If you use a spermicidal condom, then you...

1:23:42 Adam That actually doesn't like this.

1:23:43 James Marsters Yeah, no, it's not good news.

1:23:44 Adam It says they taste bad.

1:23:45 Drew No.

1:23:49 Adam What was her name?

1:23:50 Drew Tina Fade.

1:23:52 Caller Oh, she did.

1:23:53 Drew Remember that?

1:23:54 Adam Oh, when I told her about something gross. All right, yes, Drew, why not? By the way...

1:23:58 Drew We don't know, but there was a data, the World Health Organization came up with some data that showed that they actually increased the risk of transmission of HIV. Not an accident or an in-line, maybe an irritant. It may slightly increase the risk.

1:24:08 Adam But because it opens things up a little bit, or causes an opening?

1:24:12 Drew It gives a very, very slight effect. But the thing they did see was it doesn't seem to benefit anything. It's not a big deal.

1:24:19 Adam It's not good. Okay, so what's up with that? Now, what is it, the AIDS virus? Is it a molecule? What is it?

1:24:27 Drew Protein. It's tiny.

1:24:30 Adam Okay, but-

1:24:30 Drew It's not a bacterium like, you know, chlamydia.

1:24:33 Adam Is that bigger?

1:24:34 Drew Way bigger.

1:24:35 Adam It's way bigger. So the difference in size between chlamydia and AIDS- Is it a name like Shaq and the guy who played Webster, that kid? Like I'm thinking of two black, you know-

1:24:48 Drew People were like Shaq and an ant.

1:24:49 Adam Personalities. And an ant. Yeah. Who's still a little bigger and the kid who played Webster.

1:24:54 Drew Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Okay.

1:24:56 Adam So, I mean, it's just a huge difference in size.

1:24:59 Drew Yeah.

1:24:59 Adam Like if you're looking through a microscope at chlamydia, much, much bigger.

1:25:06 Drew Viruses, you need electron microscopes.

1:25:07 Adam Uh-huh.

1:25:08 James Marsters So we need like a titanium kind of glove.

1:25:12 Drew Yeah, but again, the idea is that people thought, well, the latex seems to have these pores in them and maybe those pores are about the same size as a HIV particle and maybe it can get through. It'll be helpful, believe me. Wear a condom is better than not wear a condom. And it probably, these are all risk reduction measures. They're not perfect.

1:25:30 Adam Yeah, so what about latex gloves then with the AIDS virus? Well, I mean, that's all they wear, right?

1:25:35 Drew Yeah, but that's skin and not mucosal service exposure.

1:25:38 Adam Yeah, but still, you see how I use that, James? It works almost every time.

1:25:43 James Marsters But still.

1:25:44 Adam Yeah, but still. See, now I'm right. We gotta move on.

1:25:46 James Marsters All right.

1:25:47 Drew Commercial, here we go.

1:25:48 Adam There you go, Drew. I should have been on the speech and debate team in high school.

1:25:52 Drew Yeah, but good times.

1:25:53 Adam Yeah, but still. It would have been great. We're gonna take ourselves a little break. James Marsters here tonight. And we'll be right back after this.

1:26:02 Caller Loveline, okay, wait, wait, wait, my hair, my hair.

1:26:06 Adam We'll be right back.

1:26:07 Caller Check.

1:26:20 Adam It's Marsters here tonight. Spike from Angel. Drew and his stupid hypotheticals over the air.

1:26:28 Drew Got you guys all. I was going to bring that up on the air, too.

1:26:31 Adam Trying to take a whiz. James, James has one about being on the moon.

1:26:36 James Marsters Yeah, it was actually in the show, so I can't take credit for this really good cavemen or astronauts who would win if they're on the moon, not on the moon, if they're if they're just on earth fighting, who wins in a fist fight, cavemen or astronauts?

1:26:49 Adam I mean, now the astronauts, are they laying down with their equipment and stuff?

1:26:55 James Marsters Yes, they fly through time, right? And they come back in the Mesozoic era or whatever era it was, and they land down and they can get out of their spacesuits if they want to. But they find cavemen and get into a fight.

1:27:09 Drew Okay, man, thanks.

1:27:10 Adam I'm going caveman if I'm just going pure hand to hand. But if you gave the modern man...

1:27:15 Drew Astronauts will find more weapons.

1:27:16 Adam We're saying astronaut, but we just mean modern man. We gave astronauts 20 minutes to put a plan together. They could probably fashion something for themselves.

1:27:27 James Marsters That's right. Plus, they would also respond in a coordinated fashion.

1:27:30 Adam The astronauts, right?

1:27:32 James Marsters And they're also trained by military.

1:27:34 Drew And they can communicate, too.

1:27:35 James Marsters But I still go with the caveman, man, because astronauts are going to be small. They always pick the small guys to be in those capsules.

1:27:39 Adam They can't have any large asses in space.

1:27:41 Drew The spaceship man was small, too.

1:27:43 Adam Yeah, they weren't that big.

1:27:44 James Marsters But thick?

1:27:46 Adam Well, the Flintstones, he was thick. Yeah. Did you see John Goodman?

1:27:51 Caller Huge man.

1:27:53 Drew Loved pizza.

1:27:54 Adam Loved pizza and big ribs.

1:27:56 James Marsters Take your head in his hand, man.

1:27:58 Adam All right, I got my hypothetical, too. This is about effing the person at the office.

1:28:03 Drew Oh, no, we've heard this one. No, no, no, come on. This is good. There's a good call. This is powerful stuff. Somebody wants to give you a bar mitzvah.

1:28:09 Adam Oh really?

1:28:09 Drew Yes, come on, let's listen to this.

1:28:11 Adam You're lucky, man.

1:28:12 Drew I know, I'd hear about that.

1:28:13 Adam This is gonna be powerful. What, where are we going to?

1:28:15 Drew Five.

1:28:16 Caller Five?

1:28:17 Adam Well, how the hell do I know?

1:28:18 Drew Because I had the sticky up there.

1:28:19 Adam The sticky was over on one.

1:28:22 Caller Alexis?

1:28:23 Yeah.

1:28:23 Adam You're 20?

1:28:25 Caller Uh-huh.

1:28:26 Caller What's up?

1:28:27 Caller Adam, I think that you should have a bar mitzvah.

1:28:30 Adam Yeah, it's too late now. It's too late. Now I'm literally a millionaire and I got everything I need. But back in the day, I could have used one.

1:28:38 Caller I understand, but I feel like you have enough respect and like you should be recognized in the Jewish community.

1:28:43 Adam I should. Number one, honorary Jew right here.

1:28:47 Drew It could help your career too.

1:28:49 Adam Yeah.

1:28:50 Caller Well, I didn't hear you, but we could find you a Torah portion and we could do all sorts of stuff. It could be so much fun. My mom can make multiple soups.

1:28:57 Adam Look, I'm into it. I'm not into the studying the Torah part.

1:29:02 Drew Learning Hebrew.

1:29:02 Adam Yeah.

1:29:03 Caller So we'll have like a 13 year old boy say your part or something.

1:29:07 James Marsters That's what I stand in that.

1:29:10 Adam That's that's what I like. I'd be up there, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for coming out. I'm now going to read for the from the Torah. Josh, get in here. Come here, buddy.

1:29:19 Caller I mean, I think that's reasonable. I don't think I don't remember my Torah portion. And I don't really think that it had any.

1:29:26 Adam Oh, you had you had the bat mitzvah?

1:29:28 Caller Yes, I did.

1:29:29 Adam All right, listen, you Jews got to work this out. This is a dude thing. This ain't a chick thing. This is for the fellas. I mean, you guys, you got your minstrel cycle. You got a lot of stuff.

1:29:39 Drew You get your minstrel cycle. Wow. That's like the same.

1:29:45 Adam Minstrel cycle. You got you got your minstrel cycle. I'm tired. Drew, I went to bed at two when I got up at six. There it is. You got your traveling minstrel cycle. The point is, is you have things we don't have. Don't take our stuff. The bar mitzvah, that's for the phallus.

1:30:06 Caller But I'm a Jew. I mean, like, it's more about.

1:30:10 Adam Well, you don't have a beard and a payos, do you?

1:30:13 Drew You didn't become a man.

1:30:15 Adam You didn't become a man.

1:30:16 Caller That's not fair either. I don't even get to wear the yarmulke. I don't get to wear it. You know what I mean?

1:30:20 James Marsters Do you really want to wear the yarmulke?

1:30:23 Caller So badly.

1:30:24 Adam All right. So you want to give me, and what's involved with the bar mitzvah, by the way?

1:30:28 Caller Nothing.

1:30:28 Caller You just have to read something. When's your birthday? I know it's coming up sometime. You said, we're going to do a countdown to your birthday.

1:30:35 Caller Yeah. Or like, maybe that wasn't you. You were going to be recognized for your birthday and be really excited about it.

1:30:40 Caller But you just find a Torah portion, something that was written in the Torah around your birthday.

1:30:44 Caller Oh, really?

1:30:45 Adam That's how it works?

1:30:47 Caller Yeah.

1:30:47 Caller Like whatever they would read on that Saturday, depending on their schedule.

1:30:51 Caller In LA, things get a little booked up. So you might have to read something for a few weeks after, but that's the way it goes.

1:30:57 Caller All right.

1:30:57 Adam And would I pick a theme?

1:31:00 Caller Sure. For the party?

1:31:01 Adam Yeah.

1:31:01 Caller Oh, you're more interested in the party.

1:31:03 Caller The party's where it's at.

1:31:04 Caller I'm just telling you, you have to do the religious stuff. The party, you can do whatever you want.

1:31:08 Caller All right.

1:31:08 Adam Well, I like to pick like a Star Wars theme.

1:31:11 Caller You're in.

1:31:12 Drew I thought you'd have a stripper theme.

1:31:13 Adam No.

1:31:14 Caller Stripper Star Wars.

1:31:15 Adam Keep it cool. And this is Neil.

1:31:28 Caller I went Vince Neil there.

1:31:29 Adam I went Vince Neil. I went Vince Neil. And like a strip club DJ doing it.

1:31:34 Caller It could be arranged.

1:31:35 Adam All right, baby doll. I'll tell you what.

1:31:37 Caller I'll check up on you around your birthday. How about that?

1:31:39 Adam Please, please do. It's coming up. It's the end of May.

1:31:43 Caller Okay.

1:31:43 Adam It's the end of May. And I may be heading toward a bar mitzvah. Thank you, Alexis.

1:31:48 Caller That's I'm in LA and I listen all the time. So I'll check in. I promise.

1:31:51 Adam Thanks, sweetie pea. You don't have to worry about the Jews. They always land on their feet. They really do. They take care of their own children. They take care of business, you know what I'm saying? That's why I could be one. And I could be.

1:32:06 Drew You couldn't take care of anybody else, but you take care of business.

1:32:09 Adam I do got the nap. I got the nappy Jew hair. I got that annoying voice many Jews have.

1:32:14 Caller I have the food.

1:32:16 Drew I complain a lot.

1:32:17 Adam Oh, you nobody complains. Nobody complains. I complain about first class flying. Yeah.

1:32:25 Drew All the time.

1:32:26 James Marsters My nuts aren't warm enough.

1:32:28 Adam Yeah. The ones on the top are colder than the ones on the bottom because the ones on the bottom are insulated by the ones on the top. Please, somebody do something about this. This is an insult. Yeah.

1:32:38 Drew We're taking a break.

1:32:39 Adam Horrible food and in such small portions. That's basically my. That's my key to life. Yes, Drew?

1:32:45 Drew Yes, Adam.

1:32:45 Adam All right. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:32:48 Caller OK, so I know there's nothing wrong with me.

1:32:50 Caller So what's up?

1:32:53 James Marsters Why can't I meet anybody?

1:33:03 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:33:05 James Marsters Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:33:23 Adam Well, that's the show, everybody. James Marsters, everybody.

1:33:29 Drew I will watch something that's after South Park, so.

1:33:31 Adam That's right.

1:33:32 Drew Obviously, be sure to catch Adam this Sunday.

1:33:34 Adam Oh, this Sunday on Comedy Central.

1:33:36 Caller That's right, big special. Big Bar Mitzvah special.

1:33:41 Adam Angel, nine o'clock, WB, Wednesday nights. Wanna thank Anderson and Ann and Junior, Junior, Junior, and producer Lauren and Chris and Brian and all the fine, fine people that make this show the good, solid seven that it is week in and week out. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. By the way, here's why people can't memorize your name. It's not a name. What if I just said, hey, what's your name?

1:34:13 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, April 22, 2004