Episode 1000606209271

1:05 Voiceover I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist, Doug and Dan both here from Hoobastank. Yeah.

1:17 Clap, clap.

1:19 Adam We couldn't figure out... We spent a while trying to figure out who was in here last time, who was in here, and at the end of... We disagreed to disagree and move forward, or not care. I don't know. It was... I seem to remember being here.

1:36 What was the conclusion? It was the both of you. I totally remember. Oh, okay. I'm so starstruck.

1:41 Hoobastank What about the laser thing?

1:43 That was the time before in a different studio.

1:46 Drew Here's how this conversation started. I straightened your guys' names out in my own mind and got them... I don't normally get that solidly for guests. I let him worry about that.

1:56 Adam Yeah, Drew doesn't normally know who's on the show.

1:59 Drew I had to explain to him who was who, what's going on. And I said, what? I opened the show that night. I must have. That's the only reason I was straightened out.

2:07 Adam I did Kimmel that night. Maybe I was guest hosting that week or something.

2:11 Drew Or maybe I was preparing for you to be late or something.

2:12 Adam You weren't. Well, you know, I like when Drew does his second week to do the Loveline TV show. He would go, Well, now, Adam, in this case, I agree with, and he'd look over at the band on the sofa, and he'd look back at me and he'd go, The Guests. And I realized right then and there, Drew did not know the name of three-quarters of the celebrities and bands that were actually out on stage with you for the hour long show. Generous.

2:40 Drew Generous.

2:42 Adam 15, 16ths of the bands that were out there. And not only bands, but just C-list celebrities we would get on the show.

2:50 Hoobastank So you didn't remember this or you didn't?

2:51 Drew No, I did. I had you guys all just nailed. And I remember being in there with you guys too. I don't know if I have that vivid a memory of it. I'm responsible for something.

2:59 Adam Producer Anne, who just got done patting herself on the back for having this cheat sheet with the dates and all the stuff, the band and all that. And I said, What was the band on last? And she said, Well, it's right there in front of you. Had Dan and Dan. Had you both as Dan. Drew caught that at the end. Let me tell you something. I'm like a Fembot, a Maskbot.

3:25 Drew Just programmed.

3:26 Adam I would look down and say, Well, it's Dan and Dan from Hoobastank. And then I don't let you guys talk. So we'd been into the 11 o'clock hour before.

3:38 Hoobastank You would have corrected me. I'm Doug.

3:41 Adam I would have done a good 20 minutes on, Well, when you guys travel, and there's two suitcases, and they both say Dan, or when somebody calls, and wants to speak to Dan, and both you, or there's some hot chick in the audience saying, I love you, Dan, holding a shot, I would have done about 40 minutes on that, and then at the end of it, you would have quietly reminded me that we've never both been called Dan, but I've many occasions been called Doug, and he's been called Dan.

4:05 Hoobastank Yeah, right. It must be the goatee, man.

4:08 It's the deed. Nobody can get it straight.

4:10 Adam I've been called Alan many times and do not monkey with it. Drew, do you ever get called something else and just keep moving?

4:16 Drew Two, yes, all the time. Drew, you know we did this the last time, too. On this album?

4:22 Yeah.

4:23 Drew Who wants another book?

4:27 eBay.

4:28 Adam Let me tell you this, the CD...

4:30 Drew I think it wasn't this album, though.

4:32 Yeah, it was.

4:33 Adam Drew, you better hope you had like a mild stroke this afternoon. Because we need to take you in and get you a PET scan.

4:41 Drew I think you're right.

4:42 Adam What you need to do right now is stop talking and lie down.

4:45 Drew There you go.

4:46 Adam There you go. We should just get a cot and a microphone for you and you should just recline. Yes? Number one song in the country now.

4:57 Hee hee.

4:58 Adam What the hell is going on with Hoobastank? How do they figure out what the number one song in the country is? By the most spins in the radio station?

5:07 Well, obviously the best song. And we have it.

5:11 Drew It's the most, what do they call it, shipped records or shipped CDs?

5:14 Adam No, no, that's sold though.

5:16 Hoobastank This is just the most played rock song in the country.

5:20 Adam Right, it's the number one rock song. And I guess they go through radio stations, have to have a lot of stuff. They don't know.

5:29 We have no idea about those guys.

5:30 Hoobastank Yeah, those guys in there might know, but.

5:32 Adam Yeah. The Wranglers. Yeah. Yeah, so I guess each radio station says how many times they played a certain song and then they just get all that information. They figure out which one has the most spins, like the rock genre and the rap and R&B. There it is. I figured it all out. Let's take some photos. I'm probably wrong.

5:49 It's an amazing feeling, too, because you know when it was number two, it was awesome. And then when it went to number one, it was almost like going from 15, 15 years old to 16 years old. Remember how you felt?

5:58 Adam Yeah.

5:58 That was great.

5:59 Adam Free at last.

6:00 Yeah.

6:00 Adam That mom's going to let you borrow the Honda.

6:02 20 to 21. Ooh. Yeah, we feel like that right now. Now we're legal.

6:08 Adam I popped my drinking cherry about 15, though. So, by the time I turned 21, it was like, yeah, I'm hungover from last night. I'm not going to be doing too much boozing. Actually, my... Does everyone remember their 21st birthday and what you did? You do?

6:25 Well, I remember... I didn't drink until I was probably about 23. I never drank anything. Really? Really? But we went to a strip club on my 21st birthday.

6:33 Well, that's for yours, but what the hell did I do for mine?

6:36 We did nothing for years.

6:38 Probably.

6:39 I don't know.

6:41 Adam Here's what I did on my 21st birthday. Drew, I'm trying to figure out what year it was. 1944. Our boys had just come back from the war. I think Truman was in office. Drew, what did you do?

6:54 Drew I didn't go to college. I don't remember doing anything.

6:58 Adam I know exactly what I did. I don't remember too much.

7:01 Drew However, I was living in Massachusetts at the time when the drinking age was 18.

7:04 Adam Oh, so no big... That's why I don't remember. I went out partying with my friends. I got loaded at a party. I mean, obliterated because I was 21 and I had to drink. And I fell asleep on a box ring that was in an alley behind the party. I don't know if you want to call it falling asleep. Falling asleep would imply brushing your teeth, fluffing your pillow, kicking your slippers off. This is more just like a wrestler had thrown me off a cinder block fence onto this box ring and I just sort of sprawled out. My friends found me before they left, scraped me up and threw me in a VW van, and we went off and partied a little more. But I was obliterated and eventually got dropped off at my buddy's house, The Wees, who had just bought a new BMW or just got a new car. And I landed at The Wees' house. I was like, my head's spinning. I'm not feeling good. I drank too much. I got it. Can you drive me home? And he said, yeah. But first, we're going on a mall hauling run because I just got my new wheels. And he was a maniac. So we had to go up the mall hauling while he took his new car through his paces like a maniac sideways on every corner. I was like, I was dying. I was like, please crash so we can just die already because I'm going to heave all over your headliner. And then he dropped me off. And guess who had to work the next day?

8:26 Drew Oh, yeah. Well, not, I'd say four hours later.

8:28 Adam Well, no, but this was a Friday. I was working on a Saturday, digging ditches.

8:33 Yeah.

8:35 Hoobastank Those are the good old days.

8:36 Adam Oh, great times.

8:38 All right.

8:39 Adam I really should have killed myself, Drew. That's, that's my biggest lament in life is not killing myself when I was 22. Hope you kids learn a lesson from that.

8:47 All right.

8:48 Adam Let's get to the phones, Drew. Yes?

8:50 Yeah.

8:51 Drew And they're looking around like, what? What?

8:53 Adam Yeah.

8:53 Drew Now what do we say?

8:55 Adam That's an important message. Lee? Yes? You're 23? What's that?

9:02 Caller Well, my fiance wants me to sleep with other guys.

9:05 Drew Well, that's not such a great idea, is it?

9:09 Caller No, that's why I haven't done it yet.

9:10 Drew Does he want to do it with you present, with him present?

9:12 Caller No, he doesn't want to be there. He doesn't want to know who these guys are. He just wants me to do it.

9:19 Drew Why, pray tell? What's the point?

9:21 Caller That's my question. But he says it's because he feels funny calling me a slut when I've only slept with two women. Or two men.

9:30 Drew He's funny.

9:30 Caller I wish my girlfriend was more like her boyfriend.

9:33 Drew He wants to be able to call you a slut and feel good about it?

9:35 Caller I like him calling me a slut, but yeah, he doesn't want to feel bad about it.

9:40 Adam Oh, yeah. This union has been blessed. You've got to have some kids. And by the way, Drew, what percentage of our callers, when you say why, pray tell, think you're mispronouncing their name? They're actually calling them pray tell.

9:54 Hoobastank That's Michelle.

9:55 Adam Dr. Truth thought I was black or Mexican or something.

9:59 Drew Lee's from Kansas.

10:01 Hoobastank What percentage of your callers actually like being called sluts?

10:04 Adam Oh, that's well under the 80s. Hey, Lee, I'm confused here. The fiance of two and a half years, it says?

10:13 Caller You got that wrong. Fiance of a year and a half. We've been together two years.

10:18 Drew How old is he?

10:19 Caller He's 24.

10:21 Drew Then he likes to call you a slut.

10:24 Caller Yeah, he does. I like being called a slut.

10:27 Drew And in order to feel good about that, he needs to make sure that you are one?

10:33 Caller I don't know if that's his reasoning or not. He just says he feels odd about calling me when I'm not.

10:38 Drew Lee is on medication.

10:40 Adam Lee is? Lee, are you on medication or are you just angry?

10:44 Caller I'm not angry.

10:45 Adam I'm just completely confused. I know you're angry. Big gal?

10:50 Caller No. Hmm? No, about 150.

10:55 Adam About 150? How tall?

10:58 Caller Five-seven.

10:59 Adam All right, let me do some radio math here.

11:01 Drew Oh, you haven't played that in a long time.

11:02 Adam Well, here's the thing. When you say five-seven, one-fifty, you go... You're five-five and thirteen-sixteenths and one-fifty-nine. But when you say about one-fifty, I go ahead and check twenty pounds onto my one-fifty-nine. I know you're one-seventy-nine, Drew. All right, so we've got five-five and thirteen-sixteenths. And we've got one-seventy-nine. Yeah, now the only reason I say she's angry is because whenever I want to strangle callers, it always means they're angry.

11:37 Drew It also means they're abuse survivors.

11:39 Adam You've been abused.

11:40 Drew Because when Adam wants to abuse somebody, he wants to pile on to their misery.

11:45 Caller I know.

11:46 Hoobastank I still don't see what the point of the call was.

11:48 Drew Well, that's part of the mystery here.

11:50 Adam So, where's your dad, Lee?

11:52 Caller He's married to my mother.

11:55 Drew Wow, that's where he is?

11:56 Hoobastank That's shocking.

11:57 Drew And it's a little bit of an angry answer.

11:58 Adam Yeah, well, it's all a little angry. And how do you... Okay, so they're still together. And now, was he a good guy?

12:11 Caller He's a good guy and he's never abused me.

12:13 Adam What's missing? An alcoholic?

12:16 Caller No, not my dad. My grandfather is...

12:20 Adam Is he abused you?

12:21 Caller No.

12:23 Adam When did you lose your virginity?

12:25 Caller When I was 21.

12:27 Adam And no sexual abuse?

12:30 Caller I was abused when I was 13.

12:32 Adam Now it's coming again.

12:34 Drew You were raped at 13?

12:35 Caller No, I was not raped. It was a molestation. It was no actual intercourse.

12:40 Adam But who did this?

12:42 Caller A neighbor.

12:43 Drew We would predict that there's something even before that. Maybe physical abuse before that?

12:48 Caller No, I was not physically abused. What do you mean? Or were you abused?

12:53 Adam What's your dad do for a living?

12:55 Caller Retired military.

12:56 Drew Were you moving around a lot?

13:00 Caller Houston to Germany the rest of the time here in Kansas.

13:04 Adam That's the same place, really.

13:06 Drew But in the same city? Or would you move from city to city?

13:11 Adam What about the neighbor? How old was he?

13:14 Caller I do not really recall. He was a friend of my older brother. That's all I recall.

13:18 Drew We'd imagine he'd be your older brother's age.

13:21 Caller My brother's 27. At the time he was probably 16.

13:24 Drew And was your older brother tough on you?

13:31 Adam Well, we're going to flip over all the cards. It's a subtle thing, but Lee's angry.

13:38 Drew Well, it's very least. I don't get angry so much, but I see where she's evoking the desire to abuse in you. That's very predictable.

13:45 Adam No, no, no. She gives her curt answers and they're always a little bit... There's a little twist.

13:50 Drew A little knife twist.

13:51 Adam A little eh, a little F-you. So Lee, this guy is not the world's greatest guy. I'm not sure what's up with you that you would be attracted to this guy or want to go along with this.

14:04 Drew Why you wouldn't ask questions about this bizarre request and wouldn't...

14:08 Caller I have asked questions. And yet when we ask you about the... His whole reasoning is he feels odd calling me while I'm not. That's his entire reasoning.

14:19 Drew Yeah, well that's total BS and it's totally bizarre. And when you say to him that is bizarre and ridiculous...

14:28 Hoobastank Is it something that you ask to be called or he just starts calling you? You say you wanted to be called this. And he feels...

14:34 So this isn't something that he...

14:35 Hoobastank It's like he's saying to you that he's doing this for you.

14:38 But he feels weird.

14:41 Caller What's the word I'm looking for?

14:45 Adam Well, S&M? Ass play.

14:47 Caller Exactly. That's right, Adam.

14:49 Drew And you don't think it's a little bit off to be wanting to be called a slut all the time?

14:52 Caller He doesn't call me a slut all the time, just during sex.

14:56 Adam Was that right in my ass play or was it the S&M part?

14:59 Caller S&M. And he's a great guy. He's in college. He does not... He is sweet. He is kind. He is loving.

15:07 Adam Welding schools, not college.

15:09 Caller Not welding school.

15:12 Adam What kind of schools he go to?

15:14 Caller He spent four years at UMBC and now he's at BIC, studying the culinary arts. And now everybody knows he is. He's listening to the show. We know.

15:27 Adam Listen, Lee, I don't have any kids with him for a while.

15:31 Caller I wasn't planning on it.

15:32 Adam Okay, good.

15:33 Caller Not for a while.

15:34 Adam How are you about kids?

15:36 Caller I love children. I'd like to have them now, but I'm going to wait because it's not the right time.

15:41 Adam Okay, good.

15:43 Drew Lee, either this wasn't sort of a meaningful question. It was just sort of a, well, I'm going to ask the guy on the radio because you're such an idiot for asking me that all the time. I mean, it's the only... Or there's something horribly wrong here. We're not getting at it. So just, okay, if you're just goofing around, fine. That's fine.

15:59 Adam Just don't have any kids.

16:01 Drew Either way, don't have any kids.

16:02 Caller Please don't.

16:03 Adam Or if you do, send them away somewhere.

16:05 Hoobastank Yeah, and don't go sleep with other guys, you know?

16:08 Drew No, I don't think she has any intention of that.

16:10 Caller But if your girlfriend told you that you can go have sex with other girls and she didn't want to know about it?

16:15 Hoobastank Yeah, but there's something wrong.

16:17 Caller I agree, but it would be great for a week.

16:20 Drew Were you going to go do it, she would freak like all hell on you. She would absolutely go insane.

16:24 Hoobastank Right, so don't ask me.

16:26 Adam Just tell me what to do.

16:27 Caller My wife did propose that to me.

16:28 Drew Really?

16:29 Adam Yeah. And? I've been on that for like five years. Where have you been?

16:33 Drew Trying to have my other girl?

16:35 You've been trying the whole time?

16:36 Adam I knew we were going to have this conversation one day, so I got started. Well, it's actually a bachelor party in 98. And I started working your name in, Drew. Because it feels healthier when Drew's there. Drew said it was cool. So you work with the doctors? Cool. Yeah, Drew. No, Drew said go right ahead. He said don't say anything. And then he said don't bring his name. Oh, Ashley? Yeah?

17:05 Drew Ashley?

17:06 Adam Ashley needs to turn her radio down.

17:08 Drew No kidding.

17:09 Adam We've not had that problem in a while, though. I mean, to be fair to our callers, we've not had to turn the radio down a while.

17:16 Drew That's true. Did she just hang up?

17:19 Adam I like to try to make her think she did. Let's talk to a lesbian here. Dallas? I mean, Dallas, you're 22.

17:29 Caller No, this is Tim. I think you guys crossed lines, dude.

17:35 Drew That must have been Dallas.

17:36 Caller I got a German or a Florida guy.

17:40 Adam All right. Wait a minute. We have to explain to Hoobastank how Germany or Florida works. You know Germany or Florida.

17:47 Hoobastank Yeah, I've heard this one.

17:47 Adam Okay. I seem annoyed.

17:49 Hoobastank I just didn't understand what he said. I got a feeling there's a lot of guys.

17:52 Adam Oh, yeah. Listen, you realize you have to speak Stoner-Gibberish to get along on this radio show.

17:58 Hoobastank Now, we just came from Florida, so we have maybe a little advantage in this. And we're going back tomorrow morning.

18:03 Adam Well, we'll see. We'll see. Flying Coach from Florida, by the way. Number one song in the country. Flying Steerage.

18:12 Things are sick and twisted from too much fun and Nazis.

18:15 Sex, women, death, fetishes, both of them have got these.

18:18 Caller Guaranteed not to bore you, Germany or Florida.

18:21 Adam All right, there's the theme song. Now, go ahead.

18:24 Caller First of all, Hoobastank, I love your music, guys. Me and my girlfriend listen to you all the time. It's so great. And Adam and Drew, oh, you guys are great. Adam, I agree with you 99% of the time with everything you say.

18:34 Drew Thanks, buddy. That is scary, though. Let's go ahead.

18:36 Caller Anyway, Germany or Florida, police were called to an explosion at about 9:30 p.m. We were told of a man who had been threatening his girlfriend with a bomb and had a mishap. The man planned to fire a rocket toward his girlfriend, but it went awry when the rocket ricocheted inside his car and died between his legs. Bursting in a fiery display, it burned all the hair and skin from his legs to his groin, police said.

19:07 Drew Florida.

19:08 Hoobastank Really? I'm going Germany.

19:11 Caller Florida.

19:14 Drew It just had a white track.

19:20 Adam You're right. I usually start and I was being a contrarian. I heard all the Florida's and I thought, you.

19:32 Caller Know, somebody's got a better radio to say Germany.

19:35 Caller What's the name of it? Where is that?

19:37 Caller Oh, you don't want to know. Never mind.

19:39 Caller Is that like Riverside or something?

19:42 Caller No, I live in Ontario.

19:43 Drew Oh, I beg your pardon.

19:46 Caller How dare you, Adam?

19:47 Drew You got that one wrong.

19:51 Caller Yeah, that's the Beverly Hills with the 909.

19:54 Adam Oh, yeah, it's beautiful. Okay, thanks. Let me tell you something. We've talked about this many times with the Ontarios, California and Ontario, and the more you start looking into this and the more you travel and the more you realize there's just Salem, Massachusetts and Salem, Oregon, and at a certain point it gets confusing when you're talking about coming out to Salem or Rochester, Minnesota, Rochester, Springfield. At a certain point, it's confusing. You got one in Minnesota, you got one in Upstate New York. Here's what I'm saying. Someone's going to have to change their name. You know what I'm saying? There's got to be New Ontario. You know what I mean?

20:37 Hoobastank You can call that New Ontario.

20:38 Adam I could, but it would only serve to confuse people even more. I'm just saying, we need to decide, have a competition. Who's better, Ontario or Ontario? Rochester or Rochester? Oregon or Salem, Mass? And we'll figure it out. And then the winner keeps their name. It's like wrestling. Loser leaves town, but actually the town leaves the town. The name has to leave the town and instead they get a number. So it would be like A32-5. It would be great. Competitions. The toughest dude in each town would have to go Adam. Yeah? What do you think?

21:18 Caller Ultimate town fighting at sundown.

21:21 Hoobastank Yeah, name claiming fights.

21:24 Adam You know, it would be like it would be something like 8 foot black dude who says he's from Salem, Mass. You know, and everyone would know he was a ringer. You know, if they brought him in from New York or something. What are we going to do, Drew?

21:37 Drew I'm going to mention a Girl Next Door promotion.

21:39 Adam I think I may have already done that. And then we're going to hear a Hoobastank song.

21:44 Drew When we get back, I think.

21:46 Adam No, I think we could hear one.

21:47 Drew Alright, let's hear that now then.

21:48 Adam Well, let's do the promotion.

21:49 Drew Alright, go ahead.

21:51 Adam Well, should we hear the song? Hey, you know what else? Crank Anchor's on tonight, everybody.

21:59 Drew Oh, I'm on Real World tonight, too.

22:01 Adam Really? When is that on?

22:04 Drew It's on right now. Oh. Let's go screw up the crank anchors.

22:07 Adam You gotta watch the crank anchors, kids. Drew, what are you doing on Real World?

22:12 Drew They had a cutter on there. I had to go straighten things out.

22:14 Adam Stop monkeying. Somebody was cutting on themselves.

22:17 Caller I saw the previews for that earlier today.

22:19 Adam Pretty heavy, huh?

22:20 Caller Freaked me out.

22:23 Drew I had to kind of straighten the producers out and say, here's what you're doing. They were like, huh? How could that?

22:28 Caller She didn't mention those things.

22:29 Adam I thought they were colorful. People will not tell you they're doing those things.

22:42 Drew Off mic?

22:43 Adam Yeah, but we'll be able to hear you a little bit in the side. A little small talk. The Girl Next Door, yes. All callers 17 years of age and older who get on the air tonight will win a pair of tickets to see The Girl Next Door starring Alicia Cuthbert. Now, Alicia's going to be in here on Thursday, by the way, and Engineer Chris has already gotten a pre-jack-off. Yes? Maybe two. She is a hottie. Hey, come on, Drew. I'm trying to do a show here. You mind? David's telling tomorrow night, by the way. Anyway, if you're living in the Los Angeles area, you can email us right now at girlnextdoortickets. at earthlink.net. Girlnextdoortickets at earthlink.net. You get your Passes special Loveline screening on April 7th. Yes? Yes. All right, here we go. Now, it's too late to play Hoobastank's song because Drew was talking to the band. Take a break? Play a song? We could do it. See, with, Engineer Anderson's not around. We got Ken. Ken's like my sock puppet. I can do whatever I want with that kid. We run well over with Ken.

23:57 Drew Alright, let's do that.

23:58 Adam Oh, we got Chris over here. Alright, we're queued up? This one is called The Reason. That was the greatest song. The greatest, greatest song in the United States, possibly parts of Canada and Mexico. If they had radios over there, we'd be playing this song. I think we're just introducing AM to Mexico.

28:08 Drew It's coming out in Cameroon soon.

28:11 Adam All right, Hoobastank in the studio tonight, traveling all the way out from Florida. Troopers.

28:17 Drew We're gonna be nice.

28:19 Adam I'm gonna be nice, I will be nice to the band.

28:22 Drew Ah.

28:22 Adam Yeah, but not as nice, I'm gonna be to Alicia Cutbert.

28:26 Drew Chris is just laughing out loud.

28:27 Adam Chris all punchy. I'm gonna be nice to Alicia when she comes in here from Girl Next Door. When is she coming in here? She's coming in here Thursday. If you guys can just hold off for about 46 hours, you might catch a whiff of her. All right, we're gonna take a little break. Hoobastank here. We'll be more ass-licking after this. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, greatest rock and roll band in the world. Hoobastank here tonight.

29:07 Drew Who played that? Was that the question? Yeah, who was that? Chris was that. Ken, who was that in that intro?

29:12 Adam Oh, he doesn't know.

29:13 Drew Blink.

29:14 Adam That's Blink. Yeah. Thank you. All right. Thank you. Dear, dear, dear friends. Remember those Blinkster kids came in here? Oh, fresh faced about 9 years ago. Remember them, Drew?

29:26 Drew No. I remember them coming in jaded and older.

29:30 Adam Angry.

29:30 Drew Much later. They were angry. No, no, no.

29:33 Adam Strong sense of entitlement.

29:34 Drew No, that's not that.

29:35 Adam First class all the way Blink. So that's a thing. Hoobastank. Let me explain what happens. The band keeps its edge and its street cred by never flying actually inside the airplane.

29:49 Drew We fly in the wings.

29:50 Hoobastank We fly cargo.

29:50 Adam We insist on flying down in the hole, actually, at the bottom there where it's not pressurized.

29:54 Hoobastank Or those biplanes where you can actually, like you said, hang on to the wings.

29:57 Drew Stand on the outside.

29:58 Adam Yeah.

29:58 Hoobastank Yeah.

29:59 Drew Or you stand up on top with them.

30:00 Hoobastank It takes a little longer. But we keep our street cred.

30:04 Adam Yeah. When you're flying like an old camel from World War I, by an even triplane, it flies about 80 miles an hour, it takes, and you have to refuel every several hundred miles, it takes, well it takes longer to get cross country than it does on a horse. Actually faster than a wagon train. It's actually faster.

30:26 Hoobastank But just imagine the credibility though.

30:27 Adam Street cred's amazing.

30:28 Drew And these guys will be leaving tonight.

30:30 Hoobastank Amazing.

30:31 Drew For the trail.

30:32 Adam That's right.

30:32 Hoobastank We leave tonight by biplane. We have a show in three weeks.

30:36 Adam That's right. Let's, where are you Drew?

30:39 Drew You're in the store. The lesbians you want to talk to. Oh, the lesbians. We're treating them. Dallas?

30:44 Caller Hello Adam. Hi Drew.

30:46 Adam Uh-oh. What is happening strippers?

30:50 Caller So my friend is gay. I'm straight.

30:52 Adam Uh-huh.

30:53 Caller And her birthday was last week. We're going to Vegas. And as a great birthday present from a very close friend, I'm going to take her to a strip club. I just don't know which one. I've never been to one before.

31:13 Drew Oh my God, what do they say?

31:15 Adam Are you guys high? What do you do for a living?

31:18 Caller I'm a children's bookseller.

31:20 Drew Oh, yes. It's just with the ball.

31:22 Caller And Drew, Drew, you actually came to my bookstore and did a signing for your new book.

31:27 Drew In Santa Monica?

31:28 Caller No, Pasadena.

31:30 Adam Oh.

31:31 Caller The good old Rome.

31:32 Adam She works with kids.

31:35 Caller I do all day long.

31:36 Adam She sells books for kids.

31:37 Drew That's a great bookstore.

31:38 Caller Isn't it wonderful? You should bring your kids in. I'd love to recommend books to them.

31:42 Adam Yeah.

31:42 Drew Well, I don't know about that. But I do bring those boys in. At least when they were younger, we used to bring them in upstairs all the time.

31:50 Caller Yeah, it's story time.

31:52 Adam We were talking about strip clubs. And so, all of a sudden, we got into children's books. Here's the thing. Everyone likes Olympic Garden. But I like that parody. Those fags have never been inside a strip club, much less a woman. Don't listen to them.

32:19 Drew Why do you like the Paradise? That's right by the airport, right?

32:26 Adam Well, it's right across the street from the Hard Rock Hotel. I like it because it's across the street from where I'm staying, but I don't know, I've had good times over there.

32:39 Caller See, what we're looking for is a club that's more women-friendly, you know, like we won't feel out of place.

32:45 Drew I think all you need for them to be women-friendly is to be holding dollars, or money, when they're women-friendly.

32:52 Adam Yeah, every club is women-friendly.

32:54 Drew They're mostly all money-friendly.

32:56 Adam But they're more boob-friendly, they're just having to be women attached to the boobs.

32:59 Caller You'd probably prefer seeing women-friendly.

33:02 Adam Yeah. But listen, you can go to Olympic Garden, and Olympic Garden's got the dudes upstairs. Yeah.

33:14 Drew You'll get a lesbian girlfriend.

33:16 Adam Well, you get both. You got Schlong upstairs and Crotch downstairs. Great. You got a badge in the basement and dorks on the ceiling.

33:26 Drew I'm starting to worry about the FCC.

33:27 Adam Go over there. Let me tell you something. I've been up to the dude section there before.

33:32 Drew Intentionally?

33:34 Adam No, I tripped and fell up the stairs.

33:36 Drew I thought maybe the bathroom was up there or something.

33:38 Adam No, that's how they work it. No downstairs bathroom. The dude's off to walk past. I have to go to the men's dressing room with all these guys with banana hammocks hanging around.

33:47 Drew Men's could be up there.

33:49 Adam No, please. What kind of club lays itself out that way? How dare you?

33:56 Drew Yeah, it does not offend my sensibilities quite the same way it does yours, but I'll take your credit.

34:00 Adam I went up there to do some bachelor party, bachelor party bit me and Kimmel did for the man show once and dude's wearing those weird socks, weird sock-y things with the strap. It's like, wait a minute, are we the same species? Wait a minute, maybe I'm a chick. Hold on.

34:31 I like that you're in Chubb Up.

34:32 Caller We were in Florida, like somewhere in Florida the other day and they were having, it was all black male Chippendales dancers in our hotel.

34:39 Hoobastank Chippendales convention, black Chippendales convention in Jacksonville, it was absolutely awesome. Really? We had to walk by it a few times to get to the bus. We had to walk through the convention hall and it's just loaded with women just screaming and it was really, really fun.

35:03 Adam Big black women, right? Oh, hell, did you see him? Let me tell you, people think that big black women just go nuts at funerals and stuff. They go nuts everywhere. You just see them at the funeral yelling take me and throwing themselves in the grave and stuff. You see them at the Chippendales. Look out. Look out. I've seen these things on HBO and the dudes that are dancing, holy mackerel. They make these special socks, sausage casing in there. It's crazy. It's flying around. It's separate from the sand.

35:36 Drew The thing at the Olympic Garden, is it for men?

35:38 Adam The upstairs?

35:40 Drew No, I mean is it for gay men or is it for women?

35:42 Adam No, no. It's for bachelor at parties. Gay men, you know why you don't go to strip clubs, Drew?

35:50 Drew Why?

35:50 Adam Other than that your wife would put an M80 in your ass and blow you up in front of the kids, Drew's wife would kill him. But Drew cannot go. God bless her. Drew told me once, he cannot go to a strip club because Drew is a man of extreme passion. I mean this, he is a man, his whole thing is-

36:14 Drew That would be torture. Continue to be torture.

36:16 Hoobastank You know what? I know where you're going because, Dan, this sounds a lot like you right now.

36:19 Caller I know. Is it that when you go there you see these naked women and you get their hands off and they're rubbing their boobies on your face?

36:27 Hoobastank It's annoying.

36:28 Adam Right, why torture yourself? You're on an island and a culinary magazine washes up. Why just stare at all the beautiful stuff when you've got nothing but sand to eat? Is that what you're saying?

36:41 Drew No, I'm saying I'm at Desert Island, but I can go back to the hut and I've got a meal laid out with just the one I want.

36:46 Adam You've got some poi that you've been eating for about the last 20 years. I don't have much flavor. Yeah, you've got some roots that you've mashed in.

37:01 Drew This is the part you can't reconcile. You can't deal with this.

37:05 Adam Roots living off poi.

37:06 Caller Honestly, I've never really understood going to strip clubs. I think I've only been three times total.

37:13 Hoobastank We've been like, yeah, this is not a strip club you can.

37:16 Adam We put four zeros behind the three and we got the same number. But here's the point. I'll tell you my feeling. I'm the same way with the VIP room. I have seen friends, and I'm not going to mention any names, go into that VIP room and come back with a few grand less in their pocket. And there ain't nothing going on. That's another thing. No, the drills, half Jew, half wuss, bad combo for the strip club. Out the money, wife kicking the ass. It's a one-two punch. You stay home and eat that point. The VIP room is, you don't get sex in the VIP room.

38:00 Caller You just lose more money.

38:01 Adam You just get a little personal attention. Yeah, you know, you got someone handing you drinks, you got your own girl sort of pretending like she likes you and not watching her slobber on your buddy five minutes later kind of thing. Because you don't get any actual sex, except for the meter is running. And at the end...

38:16 Drew Do they, do they, do they, do they, do they have to keep upping?

38:19 Adam here's how it is. You go in there with a couple buddies, you swing around for an hour and a half, you have a few Jaeger shots, and at the end they slap you in the bill. The bill's like, you know, 2300 bucks.

38:30 Drew It's literally that much?

38:32 Adam Oh, it can go up, it can... It can be up there. And you look at the bill, the bill's like, 152 Jaeger shots, that's $1300, and then 72 bottles of champagne. And you're like, who? There's four of us. Like, what the... But you're loaded, and you have half a boner, and you're like, I don't want to see... Last thing you want to see, it's Strip Club, you don't want to seem like Mr. Tight. Well, wait a minute, wait a minute, let me get my penlight flashlight out. Now, I had three Jaegers, and... Yeah, what you have, you have two, a one-spill, all right, then with tip, yeah, but they... No, they just hit you, they just keep piling it on. And then there's the tip.

39:15 Caller I went to the strip club in, I think it was in Texas, the guys from Pantera own it, and you can bring your own alcohol to it, so it was great, because we walked off the bus with our own Jaeger and just went in and...

39:24 Adam Yeah, it's a real money saver. There's a corkage fee.

39:27 Drew Is that a euphemism or something?

39:30 Adam Yeah, they call the cork out of you. No, I mean, you go to strip club, going to strip club and drinking is like going to the ball game and eating, but big, you know what I mean? It's like instead of a hot dog being $1.50, it's $4.50. A shot of Jaeger ain't $3.00, it's $9.00. It just keeps going. All right, Jerome, I'll explain to you more about what goes on in there.

39:51 Drew Well, it's a good time.

39:52 Adam Let me tell you, let me just say this about, I've talked about before, the club paradise over there across the street from the Hard Rock. Somebody, there's like a 22-lane highway between club paradise and the Hard Rock, and there's a signal four miles this way and the other signal is four miles that way, and there just has to be drunken guys at 330 and more with half a boner, completely blasted out of brains, trying to run across that highway and get back to the craps table on a nightly basis, and I think they should either put the sign up of the guy with the lampshade on his head, like stumbling, yeah, flies open, got the zingers coming out of his head, he's dragging a corpse of a hawker, he's holding a bottle of crevasse A, yeah, like that sign should be up, and or they should build some sort of walk under tunnel. The tunnel would be nice because you get a little more privacy. You know what I'm saying, baby, let's go to the tunnel.

40:52 Drew All right, we took no calls.

40:53 Adam First, we're going to get some poi though. That's right, you're going to live off, boy. You're staying alive, you're healthy.

41:07 Drew I'm not kidding.

41:07 Adam I'm not kidding. Man of passion. All right, let's take a wine of great passion. Take a little break. We'll be right back.

41:14 Hoobastank Thank you.

41:25 Adam Hello, Adam, that's Dr. Drew.

41:27 Hoobastank How come this book here, like, you know, like, books, like...

41:31 Adam They have an anatomy book, by the way.

41:33 Hoobastank It opens to this one, like, most automatically.

41:35 Drew That's a picture of the female reproductive system.

41:38 Hoobastank Is this what you have the most...

41:39 Drew I'm having the most often to explain to Adam how that all works. Because Adam isn't convinced there's just marshmallows on the inside of the female.

41:47 Adam Well, not the big marshmallows.

41:49 Hoobastank Just like the ones that are in Lucky Charms?

41:51 Adam Yeah.

41:52 Drew You notice the mail page opens up a fair amount, too.

41:54 Hoobastank I don't look at...

41:55 Caller It just goes back to the China.

41:58 Drew It goes back.

42:00 Adam I don't like to see that stuff.

42:01 Drew Yeah, that's sort of why I'm opening to that page so often.

42:04 Hoobastank Really?

42:05 Adam Hoobastank is here tonight, Dan Doug, representing the band. We'll hear something else off the CD in a couple of few, probably 11 o'clock hour. Now we gotta get some calls in, bro.

42:17 Hoobastank Let's actually talk to some people here.

42:18 Adam Let's go. Let's talk to some kids. This guy's in fly all the way out from Florida. I hear you wax on about their boy consumption. Rebecca? You're 21?

42:28 Caller Yeah.

42:29 Adam What's up?

42:30 Caller Oh, I don't know what to do right now. I've been addicted to ephedra for a while.

42:36 Adam Ephedra? Mm-hmm.

42:38 Caller Ephedra?

42:39 Adam Where do you get that ephedra?

42:41 Drew It's a health food store kind of thing, but you probably get it. Where do you get it now? You can't get it anymore. Probably email or other websites and things, but be that as it may, you have to take big, big doses of it and your body basically converts it to amphetamine. That's its speed.

42:59 Adam All right.

43:04 Drew Yep.

43:04 Adam Yeah, see what happens when I stop telling strip club stories?

43:08 Drew Yeah. So what is your question there?

43:10 Caller I want to get off of it. I don't know how.

43:14 Drew Well, then you need to go to a program.

43:16 Caller I've been taking it for a while and just tonight I felt really, really weird. I feel like I'm going to throw up my heart.

43:25 Adam We've got to get into a program.

43:26 Drew We need to go somewhere and get treated.

43:27 Adam For Fedra? They have a Fedra program or speed?

43:30 Drew That's speed. It's just speed. But are you taking anything else besides a Fedra?

43:34 Caller I can and sleeping pills because...

43:37 Adam You've got to wind down at night.

43:38 Drew Yeah, you may be withdrawing from that. That's actually the more serious withdrawal. You can have seizures from that.

43:42 Adam Well, what kind of sleeping pills?

43:44 Drew They're all the hypnotics, benzodiazepines.

43:46 Adam Over-the-counter stuff?

43:47 Drew No.

43:48 Adam What are you taking? So it's over-the-counter.

43:53 Drew Are you taking anything prescription?

43:55 Caller Vicodin.

43:56 Drew Yeah, which is opiate. So there we go.

43:58 Adam Well, look, you got to get in a program.

43:59 Drew Yeah, you need to go somewhere.

44:00 Caller Is there like any program you can get into that's not like overnight because I can't have people find out?

44:06 Drew No. Listen, you have a severe illness. It needs to be a priority in your life. You're going to have to not be secretive about it. People are going to have to find out because you're going to be spending most of your time working on your recovery for the next few weeks and maybe the next few months. So you need to go somewhere. You need to stay. One thing about opiate addiction is it does not respond to treatment without a higher degree of structure. And that means going somewhere. You've been using speed for a long time trying to stop. You know, that's no good either. You've got to go. Just throw yourself on the mercy of an emergency room. Get a referral in your area and go.

44:38 Adam But, you know, good times, good times. Jessica?

44:42 Caller Yeah?

44:43 Adam You're 15?

44:44 Caller Yeah.

44:44 Adam You're in a relationship with a 34-year-old?

44:48 Caller Yeah. And he's married too.

44:50 Adam And he's married.

44:51 Drew And you're 15?

44:52 Caller Yeah.

44:52 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

44:55 Drew What is the nature of this relationship?

44:56 Caller Well, like his wife, like, doesn't live with him.

45:00 Caller She lives in, like, Florida or something.

45:03 Adam I'm starting to say Germany.

45:04 Caller Oh, no. She's not there a lot.

45:07 Caller She's not there for a long time.

45:11 Drew I'm saying this guy must be just a criminal on the lamb.

45:13 Adam She works in Florida. He may literally be on a lamb. You know what I'm saying, Drew? That'd be funny if it actually happened or a fugitive was actually coughing a lamb.

45:24 Drew On a lamb, yeah.

45:25 Adam He was on a lamb. Yeah, I know. He'd been a fugitive. On a lamb, not the lamb, Frank. A lamb. There's a difference. He was on the lamb and on a lamb. All right. Jessica?

45:39 Drew Yeah.

45:40 Adam That's like my calling card, Drew. You know what my calling card is?

45:43 Drew It's actually a calling card.

45:44 Adam It's a calling card. Yeah, that's nice. It's a twist. It's actually, that is my calling card. Okay, Jessica. So he is, she is in Florida.

45:55 Drew How do you know the dude?

45:57 Oh, it's my friend's neighbor.

46:00 Drew You've just been hanging out with him?

46:01 Yeah.

46:02 Drew Like... Jessica, stay away from this guy.

46:04 Adam Well, what are you doing with him?

46:05 Drew We're going to read about you in the newspaper soon.

46:07 Adam Yes, Jessica wins Oscar.

46:11 Drew No, Jessica is out. Missing.

46:14 Adam Oh, missing. And so is Oscar. Jessica?

46:20 Drew Yeah?

46:20 Adam We've got to take a little break, but I'm not done with Jessica. Now, have you kissed this guy?

46:24 Drew Yeah.

46:25 Adam What have you done? What base have you got to with this guy? Second. Second. All right, hold on.

46:30 Drew If I were Jessica's dad, I would...

46:34 Adam He's a Florida dude doing nothing.

46:36 Drew What's he not? The wife is in Florida. This guy's in San Diego.

46:39 Adam The dad. If Jessica's dad, though.

46:41 Drew Oh, yeah.

46:41 Adam Where do you think he is?

46:42 Drew Oh, interesting.

46:43 Adam And we'll find out.

46:44 Drew Germany.

46:44 Adam Hoobastank is here tonight. We'll take a quick break.

46:46 Hoobastank What's second base nowadays, anyways?

46:48 Adam It's oral sex. It's anal 69. Have you done that, Drew?

46:54 Hoobastank That's what I thought.

46:55 Adam It's a tall order.

46:58 That's second base.

46:59 Hoobastank Yeah.

47:00 Adam Anal 69. We'll take a... That's why Drew keeps stage with the hummus. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

47:10 Caller Here's the deal.

47:11 Caller Look in the hookup.

47:12 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:13 Caller Stick a waste in time with the wrong person.

47:15 Caller Call the Dateline. One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline. 1-877-889.

47:22 Caller You know what I'm saying, Adam?

47:24 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

47:45 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Hoobastank is in the studio tonight. The reason, name of the CD. Go out and buy that CD.

47:57 At least three or four of them.

47:59 Adam Oh, yeah.

47:59 Hoobastank Because you'll wear it right through them.

48:01 Adam One for every finger. And third and a last for the Pepe. Dave Attell is gonna, I do that. Dave Attell is, I gotta put a little duct tape around so it doesn't fall off, you know. Dave Attell, one of the best stand-up comedians working. Really ever. Really.

48:19 Drew Tomorrow night.

48:19 Adam Tomorrow night. Just a great stand-up, you know, I'm from...

48:22 Hoobastank In the history of stand-up?

48:24 Adam It really is.

48:24 Caller Now he's different from Dave Chappelle.

48:26 Adam He's different.

48:27 Caller Because I thought he was the greatest stand-up comedian.

48:29 Adam Dave Chappelle is a great stand-up. Dave Attell, Attell. Now one of them is, well, they're both on Comedy Central. And one of them does Insomniac, that's Dave Attell. Hilarious stand-up. Probably the best. All right. And then Alicia.

48:45 Drew Another does Rick James.

48:47 Hoobastank What's that?

48:48 Drew Rick James.

48:49 Adam Yeah. The other.

48:51 Hoobastank That's an awesome show.

48:52 Adam It is a great show. Comedy Central making a nice little comeback. Yeah. All right.

48:57 Drew We got Ron Perlman from Hellboy scheduled for next week.

49:01 Adam All right. Drew saw it, didn't like it.

49:03 Drew No, no, my kid saw it twice in a weekend.

49:06 Hoobastank That's why you didn't like it.

49:07 Drew No, I just, I'm not into that kind of film, but my kid's a lot of dits.

49:10 Hoobastank I did that to my dad too. I made him see Breaking Two, Electric Boogaloo twice. And he, that was grounds for grounding after that. Yeah.

49:19 Drew Then I was sent immediately to Scooby-Doo 2 after that.

49:21 Hoobastank Oh, really? Now that's gotta be awful. No, it wasn't.

49:24 Drew No, it wasn't.

49:25 Hoobastank You liked Scooby-Doo 2 better than Hellboy?

49:27 Drew No, I liked them both for what they were.

49:30 Hoobastank Yeah.

49:30 Drew I would not create it.

49:31 Adam A crap, you like a crap. Flaming turds.

49:33 Drew For what they were, you know, for stuff, for that kind of entertainment.

49:35 Adam Exactly. Here's the thing. There's bad, good, and then there's bad, bad. Like I can always sit through a bad action flick just because there's stuff going on.

49:43 Hoobastank It's eye candy stuff.

49:44 Adam You know, the guy has got a jet ski and he's going down the side of the Hoover Dam. Okay, so I'll stick with this. Yeah, but when it's just bad animation or bad comedy or bad, you know, the dog looks.

49:58 Drew No, this was good. I was amazed.

49:59 Caller We just saw something. What did we just see that was really bad? That stupid horror movie.

50:02 Oh, that's the Dawn of the Dead. Horrible.

50:06 Adam Really? I can't, I didn't see it. I can't stand to watch people bite in it. Like, I don't mind seeing a guy getting his head taken off of the machete. I don't like seeing the gnawing, you know, the teeth pulling the flesh.

50:16 Drew Yeah, the whole time my kids couldn't wait to see Van Helsing. Oh yeah, I gotta see that.

50:20 Adam What?

50:20 Drew I gotta see my film come out the same weekend.

50:23 Adam What's Van Helsing?

50:24 Drew It's this movie about a vampire, of course, or monsters or something. I'm playing the Olsen twins' dad.

50:30 Adam Yeah.

50:30 Caller Really? Yeah.

50:33 Olsen twins' dad.

50:34 Adam It's called Dad, Please Stop. He actually has sex with both of the twins. It's an R, you know.

50:42 It's R.

50:43 Adam The Olsen twins are, it's what they call against type for Drew. Olsen twins are taking a chance. Do we call him the business against type?

50:54 Drew That's right.

50:55 Adam And Drew's showing his range.

50:56 Drew It was a stretch. I was the father of multiple physicians struggling with his time.

51:00 Caller Yeah.

51:00 Drew The stretch. Ranging.

51:03 Adam Yeah.

51:03 Caller Yeah.

51:04 Adam Drew's got the range of one of the Star Trek disc guns you have in your kid. No wind, about eight feet. Nerf rockets. Yeah.

51:14 Drew About the discs. About that range.

51:16 Adam Jessica.

51:18 Drew So how do you, you're hanging out with this guy, making out with this guy. He's 34, you're 15. He's the neighbor of a friend, right?

51:25 Caller Yeah.

51:28 Adam And his wife is in Florida.

51:30 Drew What's he doing out here?

51:33 Caller I don't know.

51:33 Drew Jessica, yeah, just this guy's a good guy.

51:35 Adam Well, what do you mean? What do you mean out here? This is where he lives. He lives in San Diego.

51:39 Yeah.

51:40 Drew So she's out there. She's gone out there for business. They live here and she's moved away.

51:44 Yeah.

51:45 Drew What?

51:47 Adam I don't understand what you're saying.

51:48 Drew My sense of this guy is that he's like a transient. He's on the lam or something. And he just-

51:51 Adam Well, no, wait a minute. Hold on a second. You live in San Diego, right?

51:56 Caller Yes.

51:56 Drew His wife lives in Florida.

51:58 Caller Well, no, not all the time, but-

52:00 Adam She goes there. He lives in San Diego, right? Yeah, he lives in San Diego. Jessica, yes.

52:10 Hoobastank And his wife goes to Florida on business?

52:12 Adam Jessica.

52:12 Caller Yes.

52:13 Adam Will you just say he lives in San Diego after one time after I goddamn say it with you? He lives in San Diego, right? You live in San Diego. He goes to Florida on business for prolonged periods of time.

52:25 Caller Yes.

52:26 Adam I don't, Drew, what's wrong with you?

52:27 Drew I heard her say she lives in Florida.

52:29 Adam All right, quiet down. No, she goes there for long periods of time. Jesus Christ.

52:34 Oh, I was wondering if either of us could get in trouble for like...

52:39 Adam Well, what is second base? You can't get into trouble for anything. You could light a hobo on fire. You'd do about three weeks.

52:47 Drew Yeah, here's the deal. When you disappear, you'll get in trouble, right?

52:50 Adam Light hobo on fire.

52:52 Drew What? I'm not kidding. You've got to stay away from this guy. This is a bad dude. Jessica? Jessica?

52:58 Hoobastank There's something wrong with this guy.

52:59 Adam It's only second base bad.

53:01 Drew Something very, very wrong with this guy.

53:03 Adam Okay, so, but let's find out a little more. And Drew will be quiet. What is second base? Not oral sex. Not oral sex.

53:16 Caller But what is second base?

53:17 Adam But feeling, feeling, it's a good point. Oh God, do I hate our college? Tell me what it's not. What is your name? It is not Sheila. Okay, he put his hand on your parts down there?

53:35 Hoobastank Yeah.

53:36 Adam A bare parts, is a bare part touch?

53:39 Caller No.

53:40 Adam No, through the panties?

53:41 Caller Yeah.

53:42 Hoobastank Okay, like-

53:43 Drew That'll put him in jail for as I'm concerned.

53:45 Adam Okay, and now what stopped it from going farther?

53:50 Caller I had to go home.

53:51 Adam All right, did you want it to go farther? No.

53:57 Caller I'm not gonna have sex with this guy.

53:59 Adam Well, why not? I mean, as long as you're doing whatever you're doing with him.

54:03 Caller Um, I don't know who else he's slept with.

54:07 Adam Okay, probably half the junior high across the street. Okay, so this is a bad guy. You look at yourself as an adult, but you're 15.

54:19 Caller Yeah.

54:19 Adam He's 34. He's automatically flawed because he's having a relationship with a 15-year-old.

54:25 Drew A physical relationship with a 15-year-old, it's against the law. Yes. He is married. Bizarre behavior. He lives in the neighborhood where he's carrying on like this. It really throws the possibility open to other dangerous behaviors as well. I'm not kidding, you might show up missing someday.

54:42 Adam Yes. Well, I don't think you show up missing. I think you leave.

54:45 Drew You turn up missing.

54:46 Adam Well, you turn up dead.

54:47 Drew Yes, turn up dead.

54:48 Adam You should... Okay, the point is, you know what my calling card is, Jessica? What? Okay, here's my point. Here's my point. Drew is right. This guy is a... Who knows what he may do? That's right.

55:01 Drew That's right. That's what I'm saying.

55:03 Adam He may go to the VIP room and drop 3,800 bucks. I mean, that's how crazy this guy could be. So, Jessica, does this guy have any kids?

55:11 Caller No. Well, not that I know of.

55:14 Adam Okay, can you never see him again, please? Well, are you gonna do that? Or are you gonna go over there for more attention?

55:22 Drew Seriously, Jessica, this should be reported to the police. Seriously.

55:25 Caller Did she even say what it was about this guy she's interested in?

55:28 Adam Why do you like him? He has a lot of money. Yeah, no, no, no. I know a lot of money. He makes $17.45 an hour. Plus he gets time and a half if he works Easter. Oh God. I wish I really, you know, when got, you know, I think back on my childhood or my teen years, and there was some always some older dude around who had his own apartment and had like a new Sentra. He was a hundred and thirty four bucks a month.

55:57 He was the guy who was making lots of money.

55:58 Adam And this dude was rolling.

56:00 Drew He was like the guy from Dazed and Confused, Matthew McConaughey.

56:04 Adam He opens his wallet. There's always a 20 in it. This dude is loaded. You know, I can just remember thinking, a guy who owned his own sofa was good. Like if he, if you had your own leather sofa, you were one of the Rockefellers. Yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure this, but that's it. When you got an ATM card and you can take out 180 bucks and you're 15 and you're Jessica, that's a dude who's got a lot of money. What the hell's she, why does she care anyways? Yeah, where's your dad?

56:33 Caller He's in Minnesota.

56:36 Adam Mm-hmm. What's his number? What's he doing over there?

56:39 Caller Um, he lives there.

56:41 Adam He's ignoring you and now you're seeking attention from the, uh, so-called rich, dirty, uh, four-year-old. What does the guy do for a living, by the way?

56:48 He does something with banks.

56:53 He robs them.

56:54 Adam Yeah.

56:54 He cleans them.

56:56 Adam No more. Yeah. He buffs the floor. No more going over there, Jessica. Security guard. He's not a good guy.

57:02 Drew Jessica, please, please. Seriously.

57:06 Adam He did not do that, really. You're gonna get into trouble. For reals. All right. Uh, we got a caller from, uh, Valencia, by the way, which is out here, a suburb of, uh, Los Angeles.

57:20 Drew I was just out there yesterday. Saturday.

57:22 Adam You were.

57:22 Drew I was getting competition out there. They have these, Valencia now looks like, uh, Orange County circa 1995. Brand new and built up.

57:32 Adam It's popping up there. You know, you go to Valencia, you go to Orange County, you see grass on that little part by the gas station sign, where the sign is, and it's always to me, it's like when that's well manicured, when it looks like a golf course, it's always like, look at that 8x8 piece of earth with a stick out of it. It's got grass on it, honey. I'm used to seeing like a hobo napping and an El Camino for sale that's up on blocks. And if anything, maybe a little of that astroturf, or some bum took a dump on it earlier. But it's like when that's well manicured, it's like, oh, what a utopia this is. Even the gas station has a lawn.

58:07 Drew Or maybe a little waterfall in front of the gas station.

58:10 Adam Yeah, that's when you know you've arrived. The gas station.

58:12 Drew A fountain.

58:13 Adam When the gas station is landscaping in front of it, that means you're in a good neighborhood. And when it has the three quarter inch plexi that the midget is behind yelling at you through the change hole at, that's bad. It's a bad neighborhood, yeah? OK. The gas station by my house, by the way, spells, it says mechanic on duty, and it spells mechanic M-E-X. And it says like Mexican. It's like, I always think it's a joke, like it's a Mexican mechanic. But I think it's just, yeah, no lawn, by the way.

58:48 Drew No waterfall. No doubt.

58:49 Adam No miniature golf course out front there. Shannon. You're 32.

58:56 Caller Yes, I am.

58:56 Drew Calling from Utopia.

58:57 Adam Turn that radio down, baby.

59:00 Caller You know what? We're driving up north, and my husband is a huge fan, and he doesn't want to talk to you. He's making me talk, and I'm driving, and he wants to hear what I have to say. So sorry about the radio.

59:09 Adam All right.

59:09 Caller But how are you? Good. Do you remember getting pulled over on New Year's a couple years ago?

59:16 Adam Yes, I do remember getting pulled over on New Year's a couple years ago. It must have been right off the 101 somewhere around Hollywood Bowl.

59:25 Drew What happened?

59:26 Adam That was it. It was early. It was probably... You know what? I'll put Shannon on hold for a second so she can hear us through the radio. It was early. It was like 7, 7.30. And I had it on. Maybe had a beer. Let's get warmed up. Because you don't want that booze to all hit you at once, Drew, to knock you out. You start slowly saturating your cells with booze probably about noon. But I wasn't drunk. And I was driving home because I was going to another party. I had to get something, whatever. Got pulled over. Good times. But you know what? I'm one of the dudes on The Man Show.

1:00:05 Caller You dropped that line?

1:00:07 Adam No, he dropped it. Now here's the thing. Let me explain something, everybody.

1:00:11 Drew I got the ticket.

1:00:12 Adam Yeah, because you are not on The Man Show. You are the man. And that's why you need to be reckoned with. Here's the thing. I was telling these guys during the commercials, the same with strip clubs. It's not so much how many records you sell or who you know. It's the crowd that knows you. Here's who you want to know you. Cops and strippers. This needs to be your audience. I'm going to do a new cable show called Welcome Cops and Strippers. I do nothing but cops and strippers. All I do is heap praise on law enforcement and strippers.

1:00:43 Caller And hook them up with strippers.

1:00:44 Adam I hook cops up with strippers. It's called Adam Corolla's Cops and Hookers Corner. It's a half hour every night. It's on Bravo. Here's what happens. If your show is known by cops, you get pulled over. Well, there's your cop. Hey, it's a guy from the Man Show.

1:01:00 Caller It's a guy from the Cops and Hookers Show.

1:01:02 Adam Hey, could you hook us up? Sign my billy club. All right. That's that. And then the hook, the strippers, that's a different thing. That's all you need to know. The people that know you, Drew, are like faculty and stuff. They can't do anything for you.

1:01:21 Drew Loveline MTV used to like, cops used to like that.

1:01:24 Adam All right. That's a long time ago, Drew.

1:01:27 Drew I used to be in the wheelhouse.

1:01:30 Caller I pulled like I'm driving. I get pulled over and the cop, do you know why I pulled you over, son? Well, because I pulled out the CD because I was listening to the Hoobastank CD that I play guitar in.

1:01:41 Hoobastank Here's an autographed copy, officer. The classic one when you're trying to get notice. You know, but I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not from here. I'm from Hoobastank.

1:01:53 Adam Well, I just thank Christ for the cops and their love of the man show. But Shannon. So your husband, and what a shock that there would be a cop who lived in the Valencia area. Here's the real question. Are there not? It's like a cop community. That's all there is.

1:02:12 Caller When we moved there, we were told it was Copland.

1:02:15 Adam Oh, yeah. No, you see, in the morning, guys going out to get the newspaper doing shoulder rolls all the way out there popping up with a gun.

1:02:24 Drew It's interesting, the 92 earthquake, people were killed were cops driving from Valencia back to their town, they flew off the freeway.

1:02:31 Adam All right, so Shannon, go ahead.

1:02:33 Caller My husband can't be on your Cops and Strippers show.

1:02:37 Adam Don't worry, I'm going to dedicate it to him. He pulled me over.

1:02:42 Caller But didn't he let you go?

1:02:44 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:02:45 Caller Do you know why he let you go?

1:02:48 Adam I assume it's because of my matinee idol good luck.

1:02:52 Caller Well, that and he called me and asked if he said, hey, guess who's in my car? And he told me who was in my car, in his car. And he told me that you wanted to get out and do a field sobriety test and you were like giggling and he was cracking up. And then he said that he said, well, what should I do? And I said, well, you know, what do you think? And that's why he let you go.

1:03:13 Adam Oh, well, thank you. So because of you. Thank you.

1:03:17 Drew So next time, if I'm recognized by a cop, I should recommend he call his wife.

1:03:22 Hoobastank It's nice to know that he wears the pants in that relationship.

1:03:25 Drew But it sort of freaks me out a little bit. I mean, there's that much room to move in this kind of thing because they lead you to believe once you pulled over, some sort of mechanism is activated when they leave the car. They have to write the ticket.

1:03:37 Adam You know, it'd be funny. It'd be funny if she was in a bad mood or like he got the wrong number or something and the person picked up was just like, put a bullet in the back of his head, then wipe the gun down and put it in his hand. It'll look like a suicide. You know what I mean? Because that could easily happen. Yeah, take a little crack, throw it in the past of your seat, put a slug in his head and keep driving. Wipe the gun clean.

1:04:02 Hoobastank And it turns out it was just a joke, but you know, he's such a dutiful husband that he actually And all the time you see people getting pulled over and cops like, you know, standing around their cars and you know, on their radios and phones or whatever and they're really just calling their wives.

1:04:13 Drew That's so funny.

1:04:16 Hoobastank Honey, he was doing 57. What do you think?

1:04:19 Drew He went back to his car and let you sweat a little bit, let you believe he was going to ride a ticket. In the meantime, he was talking to his wife. He said, I got to call my wife. Hang here.

1:04:26 Adam He actually said, I had to call my girlfriend and then I'll call my wife and then said, don't talk about this on the air. So I did. And then he came back and he said, yeah, my girlfriend's not home. She's at Pilates. I guess I'll call the old lady. And I asked when he called the old ball and chain. As he called her, the ball and chain or the boy, the back door. Here's the thanks for calling Shannon, by the way. And God bless. Any copper pulls me over and doesn't actually give me a citation. Yes, I did a little reverse psychology because he did that day. You've been drinking. And it's like, I think in general, the answer would have to be yes. Like if you just looked at my life and said, have you been drinking overall, you know, the overall answer, yes. Yes. Yes. Have I been drinking in the last couple hours? No. May have had a beer, but I did challenge him to a field sobriety test. Go ahead. Let's do it. You know, all right.

1:05:17 Drew You made him giggle with that? I'm not so sure.

1:05:20 Adam I'm not sure.

1:05:20 Drew Who was in the car?

1:05:21 Adam With me? Just I kept, you know, the hooker in the trunk. Couldn't smell her. You know, during the winter, you know, they don't smell. In the summer. Yeah. Who was saying?

1:05:32 Drew We forgot to mention that girl next door thing.

1:05:36 Adam Well, you may have just done it.

1:05:37 Drew No, we got to do it once an hour.

1:05:38 Adam All right. We got to hear. We got we don't have to hear. We would very much like to hear.

1:05:43 Drew We got to hear this. Hoobastank.

1:05:45 Adam Hoobastank song.

1:05:46 Drew After I do this, all callers 17 years or older get on the air tonight. We'll win a pair of tickets to see The Girl Next Door starring Alicia. We're going to find out in a couple of minutes. Alicia Cuthbert. If you're living in Los Angeles area, you can email us. Tonight is really the last night at girlnextdoortickets.earthlink.net. And you can get two passes to the free showing, the Loveline showing, tomorrow night at the Arclight.

1:06:09 Hoobastank Isn't that movie about like a porn star who moves next door to this teenage guy?

1:06:14 Adam It's good. I saw a preview of it.

1:06:16 Caller We're going to have to hit that on our day off.

1:06:18 Hoobastank It's rated R, too.

1:06:19 Adam And that Alicia Cuthbert is smokin, clefin the chin hot. I remember when this guy pulled me over, he said his girlfriend, who he was going to call first, actually said, I'm going to call my girlfriend's sister, who I'm effing. But if she's not home, I'll then call my girlfriend.

1:06:36 Hoobastank And then she was with the Pilates.

1:06:37 Adam Then I got to call my wife. Yeah. Because, yeah, she was in Pilates. The Ball and Chain, she said, called it. The Sack, I think he called it. Let's hear a Hoobastank song. Great idea. Let's do that. What song are we going to hear? Oh, I know what song we're going to hear. Yeah, you good up there? This off The Reason. This is called Chest One. Hoobastank, everybody.

1:10:16 Caller Didn't that sound like a number two song?

1:10:21 Drew Oh, absolutely.

1:10:22 Adam Yeah.

1:10:22 Drew Go hand in hand. Hand in glove.

1:10:24 Hoobastank Dan, before I think, you know who came out to my car today to ask me a question? Just say it.

1:10:28 Caller Where are you going with this?

1:10:29 Hoobastank Just say it.

1:10:29 Drew Shannon's husband.

1:10:30 Hoobastank Just say it.

1:10:31 Caller Who?

1:10:32 Hoobastank Just say it.

1:10:33 Caller Say what?

1:10:33 Hoobastank Say it for me.

1:10:34 Caller Jim Robb?

1:10:35 Caller That's it. Go ahead.

1:10:38 Adam Yeah.

1:10:39 Hoobastank Yeah. You don't know who he is.

1:10:40 Adam Jim Robb?

1:10:40 Caller Yeah.

1:10:41 Adam Sounds like two guys. You don't know the last name.

1:10:44 Hoobastank You know what? He is. Yeah. He's got enough personality for two people.

1:10:48 Adam Who's Jim Robb? Should I know him?

1:10:52 Hoobastank Dan?

1:10:53 Caller No, no. I just take more calls.

1:10:55 Hoobastank Yeah.

1:10:57 Caller It's going nowhere, honestly.

1:10:58 Hoobastank Yeah, it honestly is going nowhere.

1:11:00 Drew They don't know the mics well. Let's get a commercial.

1:11:01 Adam Well, see, if this is a TV show, we just edit that out.

1:11:04 Hoobastank Can't we do that anyways? Just pretend that it never happened.

1:11:08 Drew Yes.

1:11:08 Adam Now, if we did edit the show, we would have to do a five hour show every night. You know what I mean? To get it down to a tight hour forty. You know what I'm saying?

1:11:17 Drew Yeah, tight. And I'm sure that's even possible. All right.

1:11:20 Adam Maybe you're right. Hoobastank here tonight. David Tell, tomorrow night. Alicia Cuppert from My Girl Next Door on Thursday. We'll take a quick break. When we come back, we'll speak to Cecilia, who was molested, now has feelings for the guys who molested her.

1:11:36 Drew I guess.

1:11:37 Adam Creepy. All right. After this. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Hoobastank in here tonight. Got the lovely Doug and Dan. Flew in all the way from Florida and Miami.

1:12:24 Drew Man, they look happy about that too. Look at Dan.

1:12:26 Adam Dan's angry.

1:12:28 Caller I'm just pissed about that.

1:12:29 Hoobastank We have to have a little segment where you can just talk because we came in from Miami. Might as well get your words in.

1:12:36 Caller I can't, I'll say bad words and it'll just get ugly.

1:12:39 Adam Dan said he had a puss on it since he hit LA.

1:12:42 Caller I get really frustrated easily. I'm really irritable, you know? Don't look at me.

1:12:48 Adam You all right?

1:12:49 Caller No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine now, I'm home.

1:12:51 Adam Travel stuff.

1:12:52 Caller Unfortunately, we have to fly out early tomorrow.

1:12:54 Hoobastank But we just got the upgrade approval.

1:12:57 Drew Oh, congratulations.

1:12:58 Hoobastank Thank you, thanks.

1:13:01 Adam They moved out of the bathroom and in the coach.

1:13:05 Hoobastank Yeah, and all we had to do is play an acoustic set on the plane, you know.

1:13:09 Adam It makes it makes all the difference in the world. Yeah, it's like airplane. But let me ask you something, Doug. Doug, you're not you're not a rangy guy. You're not a short guy. But what are you 5'10?

1:13:21 Hoobastank 5'9.

1:13:22 Adam 5'9. See, you always go up. You go up one.

1:13:25 Hoobastank Good.

1:13:25 Adam You know what I mean?

1:13:25 Caller You make him feel a little bit better about himself.

1:13:27 Hoobastank You thought I was 5'9, but you threw 5'10.

1:13:29 Adam I was thinking 5'5. You're 5'9, and 1'60.

1:13:37 Caller With the hair, you're about 5'10. Your hair is tall right now.

1:13:39 Hoobastank Thanks.

1:13:39 Adam A lot of hair.

1:13:42 Hoobastank No, 1'60. I mean, try about 1'40, 1'30.

1:13:47 Adam Again, though, guys, you go up. Chicks, you go down. See what I'm saying? You know, it sounds like a pack of muscle. All right, here's all I'm saying. At 5'9, 1'40, if you got a guy who's like 6'2, and 200, it's the difference between business and coach almost. Not in the service, just in the seat size. Like, I'm 6'2, and coach is really made for guys. I mean, this is how they do it. If you're 5'10, you're going to be comfortable. If you're 5'7, you'll be more comfortable. If you're 6'3, you're aft. I mean, your knees, when that person in front of you reclines their seat, your knees will be...

1:14:25 Caller I had somebody's knees in my back flying home today. Horrible.

1:14:29 Hoobastank I can pretzel my way into some interesting positions on coach. Like, I can get away with it better than you can, obviously.

1:14:36 Drew That's what we're saying.

1:14:37 Adam Yeah, I'm just saying. All I'm saying is, it's really... The number one thing in coach... I mean, the number one thing in air travel is probably seat space. Like how much room do you got in your seat? And if you're broad-shouldered and you're lanky or tall or you have long legs or you're heavy set, there's going to be... If five hours in that chair is going to be a long ride. And if you're a dwarf, a high chair is first class. And that's all I'm saying is, you know, the dwarfs complain a lot, but every flight is first class.

1:15:09 Caller So it's even that much better for us when we get first class.

1:15:12 Hoobastank Just imagine how first class feels to me.

1:15:15 Drew Not mad.

1:15:16 Adam Oh, no.

1:15:18 Hoobastank It's like an apartment.

1:15:19 Caller Most of the time when we get to the airport, we just we just request emergency exit rows because then you got the you get the actual.

1:15:26 Hoobastank But you got to get the second row because the first row emergency as they don't recline.

1:15:30 Adam Right.

1:15:31 Hoobastank So you get the second one. You might as well be in business class.

1:15:33 Adam Right.

1:15:35 Drew Except for the size of the chair.

1:15:36 Adam Yeah. Let's keep moving. But important tips for the kiddies who are flying. Don't wear flammable clothing and do not. I always like they're still pulling box cutters out like they retrieved like fifteen hundred box cutters that people were trying to travel with last year's like a first off. How much what you're going to box cutting convention or you got to do a box cutting demonstration in Orlando or what are you doing with the box cutter, by the way?

1:16:07 Drew Master box cutter.

1:16:08 Adam I just call it an origami like box cutting thing. It's it's it's beautiful.

1:16:14 Drew Dr. Drew, you have to see me do it arrested or taken for questioning.

1:16:17 Adam I guess they size them up and figure out that they're just stupid guys who have to travel with box cutters.

1:16:22 Drew That's profiling. How dare you?

1:16:24 Adam I know. The point is, is I was I read in the newspaper a few weeks back that they confiscated. I mean, it could have been twenty thousand box cutters since 9 11.

1:16:34 Hoobastank And I just thought, OK, I understand box cutter attacks are there every year.

1:16:40 Adam Well, here's what we've learned from box cutter attacks. A two is too many. You know. But the point is, is I understand the nail clippers. I even understand the the occasional weapon, which is I'm a guy walks around with a knife in my boot and I forgot to take it out when I went to the airport. The guy's stupid. But at least where's the box cutter factoring it? What are you doing with it? You're breaking down pallets or something. What are you what are you doing with it? What do you got to travel with it?

1:17:05 Drew I'm saying the person needs to be brought in. All right.

1:17:08 Adam This is just this is just like the good white trash you see on Southwest, the guys that are flying in a cut off sweatpants and a wife beater and flip flops. It's like, where are you going to the beach? Like are you are you flying from Cincinnati to the beach? Where are you going? Where are you going in your in your you weren't you weren't sweatpants with no pockets? Where are you going? What are you doing? You're wearing a sleeveless shirt and flip flops. Or does someone wake you up and push you onto this airplane? Does you not know you were leaving the day before? Want to wear a shirt with a pocket in it, perhaps? You put a pen or your sunglasses in it or even a fanny pack at this point, you know? Like where are you going?

1:17:52 Hoobastank Those people usually have fanny packs.

1:17:54 Drew You are right. You are right.

1:17:55 Adam You are right. Leather fanny packs.

1:17:59 Hoobastank That's a Harley Davidson.

1:18:01 Adam That's how you know you've arrived. You step up to a leather fanny pack.

1:18:05 Drew That's Cecilia 16.

1:18:09 Caller So, yeah, hello.

1:18:11 Adam What's happening?

1:18:13 Caller Well, I'm 16 and I just started hanging out with the different crowd, which is older than me. And well, they all were revealing clothes. So of course I would do that too. And since I'm, I don't know, bigger than them, I got bigger.

1:18:35 Adam Bigger chested?

1:18:36 Drew Yeah.

1:18:37 Adam Just bigger.

1:18:38 Caller Bigger chested. And so I got the attention of this guy and he ended up molesting me and now I feel like I have feelings for him.

1:18:50 Drew What do you mean molesting? What does that mean?

1:18:52 Adam I think it's called rape after a certain age and done by some ranger.

1:18:56 Drew He forced himself on you physically?

1:18:59 Caller Yeah. And he ripped off my shirt and yeah.

1:19:04 Drew Did he have intercourse with you?

1:19:06 Caller No.

1:19:08 Adam Well, what did he do? He ripped off your shirt and?

1:19:10 Caller And he kind of, I don't know, felt around and sucked stuff and licked stuff.

1:19:17 Hoobastank Were you trying to fight him off or you just kind of, what's going on?

1:19:20 Caller Yeah, I don't know and he wouldn't get off me.

1:19:24 Adam And did he actually tear your shirt?

1:19:26 Caller Well, he unzipped my coat and he like kind of ripped it.

1:19:32 Drew All right, I assume there were no witnesses, right?

1:19:34 Caller No, not at all.

1:19:37 Drew And there's no way to prove that he did this. So really what you got to do is stay away from these people.

1:19:42 Adam Well, she likes the guy.

1:19:43 Caller How much older were they?

1:19:46 Caller Well, 18. My friend was 18 that I was with.

1:19:49 Drew Well, next it's going to be rape. So that's where this is going.

1:19:53 Adam So what's the name of your kid's book?

1:19:55 Drew Next it's going to be rape, yes.

1:19:57 Adam I think next stop rape. I think there's a train.

1:19:59 Drew That's the French translation.

1:20:03 Adam Alright, so listen, Cecilia, why is it you like this guy? You must have a horrible father.

1:20:11 Caller Yeah, I do actually.

1:20:12 Adam Because when you have a horrible dad, then horrible guys seem attractive.

1:20:17 Drew Especially when they do a horrible thing.

1:20:18 Adam Yeah. In a way. Well, that's how you become a horrible dad.

1:20:20 Drew I guess that's true.

1:20:21 Adam In a way that it transcends logic. It's like this guy abused me, but I can't stop thinking about it.

1:20:35 Drew No, it's because your dad was a horrible guy.

1:20:38 Adam Yes.

1:20:40 Drew Well, you're attracted to horrible people. But the fact is, it's just like being an alcoholic. You have to break it. You have to stay away from this. You can't even tiptoe into this at all. You got to get away from this guy.

1:20:50 Adam Cecilia, I worry about you. I worry about the future. I worry about you getting pregnant and sort of dropping out of school and sort of becoming a statistic.

1:21:01 Drew The future is not bright on the path you're on.

1:21:04 Adam So how about a little therapy or what can you do? Do you like school? Can you do something? Well, hold on a second. We got to talk about it, Cecilia, for a second. Here's the problem. You got a 16 year old whose dad was an a-hole, who did God knows what before he left. And then you got Cecilia, and all of a sudden she springs a set of boobs and gets guys who are attracted to her and she's getting the attention that she never got from daddy.

1:21:31 Drew Older guys.

1:21:32 Adam And they're older guys and it's exciting. And what are you going to do to talk her out of this?

1:21:37 Drew You know what I mean? Well, at least maybe she can hear the fact that the situation she was just in was not something that was good for her that she wants to repeat. Maybe she'll believe us. This is a road she's going down where people like this will treat her more like that and even perhaps worse things will happen. And the only way to break that or keep that from happening is to stop. Step back, get back into school, do other things that can get her out of there, go to college, be with people of her own age.

1:22:01 Adam But could you imagine for just one second and I know Doug and possibly Dan had a decent childhood.

1:22:10 Drew Don't look at him.

1:22:14 Adam Well, I don't want to eyeball him. I had a horrible childhood. Drew was medium crappy. What if at age 15 and a half, you started really filling out your trousers and the ladies started noticing the older ladies and all of a sudden you had 19 year old ladies coming by staring at your groin going, wow, Drew's really filling out his shorts. Look at that. And then said, hey, you want to drink some wine coolers? I got my own van. How quick would you be on that?

1:22:42 Caller Are there ladies that actually do that?

1:22:46 Adam That's my point. I'm saying, would any of us have said no to it at 15 and a half or 16?

1:22:52 Hoobastank How are you going to tell Cecilia to stop?

1:22:55 Adam Now look, focus on schoolwork.

1:22:56 Drew Thankfully, a 16 year old female has a few more neurons firing than a 16 year old male. She's not under the influence of the same hormonal storm that the male is.

1:23:06 Adam You would have dropped out of school. They could have went, like this 19 year old with the van and the wine cooler is going to went, I'm going to need you.

1:23:16 Caller Yes.

1:23:16 Adam I'm going to need my friends to have sex with you. I'm going to film it. And then I need you to kill your parents.

1:23:23 Caller Yeah.

1:23:23 Adam All right. So I'll pick you up at 8.

1:23:26 Caller Do you be following the scent?

1:23:30 Adam Yeah. All right. Cecilia. All right. Focus on school, please.

1:23:37 Drew Get out. Go to college. Go away. Go far away with your people your own age. Okay. Realize that bad guys are not going to change. They're not going to treat you well. I know it's amazingly attractive to you, but don't go after those things that are super attractive because that source of that attraction is built on very, very serious pain.

1:23:54 Adam And let me say this. This is a second reason why society needs to really punish these deadbeat slash a-hole dads because of the lingering psychological damage. You know, we do this thing where, well, he molested his kid, or he was an alcoholic, or he was physically abusive, or he left his family, even his three-year-old daughter, and he went and started another family, but whatever. He's not a criminal. He just left. He has inflicted, most of the time, irreparable mental imagery and abuse on his young daughter, who will then hook up with the succession of abusive guys, who could possibly... I mean, what percentage of women who are killed by their abusive husbands had the abusive dad, who never goes to jail? And the only thing that got him with the abusive, what turned out to be an abusive killer, is the a-hole dad who was abusive. And he's not yet... We don't hold him... He's not culpable at all. It's just like, well, he's not a great guy. But he led her down that path. Prostitution, whatever it is. Not the strippers.

1:25:03 Drew Oh, you like those?

1:25:03 Adam Those are college girls. They're looking for a lot for money. You know what? They like kicks. Just looking for kicks.

1:25:11 Drew Just for kicks.

1:25:13 Adam Hoobastank is here tonight. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:25:19 Drew Hello?

1:25:47 Adam That's Dr. Drew, Doug and Dan here from Hoobastank.

1:25:51 Drew God, Adam, I'm so excited.

1:25:53 Hoobastank Yeah, tell us more about this.

1:25:55 Drew I'll be a hero for my kids.

1:25:56 Adam Everybody around here loves the family guy, especially Drew. Well, actually, I got started on the family guy and was trying to talk Drew into it for about two years and then he wouldn't listen to me. But now he's into it. Now I'm tired of it because Drew keeps bugging me about it.

1:26:11 Hoobastank So we watched those DVDs into the grave on the bus.

1:26:15 Adam Oh, really?

1:26:16 Hoobastank You can recite those things.

1:26:17 Adam Oh, really? Well, it's, of course, a favorite episode has to be Death Lives.

1:26:23 Hoobastank Which one's that?

1:26:26 Adam That's the one where I play the Undertaker, the Grim Reaper. Yes, one of the best episodes. But I think I'm in two or three episodes. And I think Jimmy's in a couple, too. But anyway, I went to a party at Seth MacFarlane's house, saw everybody but him. And then he called me, though, a couple of days later because he heard I was at the party and I never did see him and spoke to him about the family guy. And they're doing like 30 episodes and they're getting started on it now. Oh, and or soon. And I told him, you know, Drew's a crazy fan. And I said, do you really got to get him on? And he said, any, you know, he'll write you in. So whenever there's a place for any kind of doctor or authority, whatever, you will be him.

1:27:14 Drew Oh, my God.

1:27:15 Adam And death will be back.

1:27:17 Drew Death will be Adam and I'll be life.

1:27:18 Adam He said, everybody's in but Hoobastank.

1:27:21 Hoobastank Can't you write us in for something? Can I be like the token Asian guy or something?

1:27:27 Adam I said, I didn't even know Hoobastank was coming on in a few days. And I was like, why did you just me? And he said, don't worry about it.

1:27:34 Caller That's my business.

1:27:35 Adam And then I question him again. And he said, you want to come back as death or do I got to get Norm MacDonald out of the grave? And I said, OK, no, it's cool. So I just let it go. But, yeah, so that's exciting. All you all you fans can see one of the best shows on TV family. Yeah, Sarah. You're 20. So your boyfriend of three years broke up with you after he read Dr. Drew's book.

1:28:06 Drew You bastard, Drew, that doesn't make sense to me. That sucks, man.

1:28:11 Adam Well, but it's also after he brushed his teeth and after he ate dinner. It's after a bunch of things.

1:28:15 Drew It doesn't have to be connected to a causational relationship here.

1:28:19 Adam Thank you. So why do you think he broke up with you?

1:28:25 Caller Well, actually, I have a lot of problems in my life and that really affected our relationship for this last, say, like four months or so.

1:28:34 Adam Your problems did? He didn't want to save you anymore.

1:28:40 Caller Yeah, exactly. He didn't want to be my hero.

1:28:42 Drew Well, by the way, the metaphor in the book, you know, I use myself as a character in the book, and the metaphor is not to abandon people, but to not need to fix them and to be present with them and let them struggle with their own issues, but not have to take the issues away and make them better.

1:29:00 Adam And a little more hump and a little less talking.

1:29:03 Drew That's what Drew says during the break. Oh, so he is, but you said he was leaving you.

1:29:10 Caller No, well, see, he broke up with me. But like, he still wants to be friends, and he took me to dinner. Tonight's my birthday and everything. But it's no, like, it's not a relationship anymore.

1:29:25 Drew Are you a survivor?

1:29:26 Adam Yeah, what's up with you?

1:29:27 Drew Are you an abuse survivor? Are you an addict?

1:29:33 Caller No, I'm not an addict. My dad has abused me a couple of times physically.

1:29:43 Caller That's about it.

1:29:44 Adam Alright, Sarah, let me say this. Here's the thing. You've had a three-year relationship. From the age of 17 to the age of 20, you had a relationship with this guy. You should be breaking up. You don't want to turn it into a nine-year relationship, but then you get divorced with two kids after three years of marriage. It's a better arc of life just to have your relationship. You've had it for three years. Now you move on. Fine. And you know what? Here's when you get to do... Look, I hate to get preachy. As you know, I don't believe... Well, first off, the callers are the show. I don't believe in talking. But let me just speak for one moment and say, the real growth as a human being comes sort of in between things, in between the jobs, in between the relationships, in a little adversity there.

1:30:31 Drew The jobs and the relationships keep you stuck in a certain mold.

1:30:34 Adam You're in that dance, whatever it is. You're fixing, she's needing a repair, whatever that weird, whatever that dance you engage in in your relationship, you're just dancing. It's when you get off the dance floor and sit down and grab a cup of punch, or in my case, a grain alcohol. But it's when you sit down and relax for a minute, it's when you really do a little growth. And she needs to do it. Three years, that's enough. And I can hear her voice. She's not done much work in the last few years.

1:31:03 Drew But I also don't feel the wholesale abuse in her voice either. You shouldn't give you that feeling of hostility and all that stuff.

1:31:09 Adam No, she's one of these people who wishes she was abused more, so she could live up to the tone of her voice.

1:31:15 Drew Or blame my book.

1:31:16 Adam And she's like, and after three years of hanging out, it's done. It really is. It's cute at first, but eventually it's like, it's the equivalent to the chick who hooks up with the guy who's got the hair trigger temper, likes to do a little booze and a little brawl and he's dangerous. That's great for about six months, but it gets old eventually with the women bailing the guy out of jail and so on and so forth. The same thing, the deer in the headlights thing for the guys, it's equivalent to that. It's cute for a while, but eventually it's like, OK, baby, look, you get a flat, you got to change your own goddamn tire. You can't give me that. Although Drew doesn't change his tire, does he? You couldn't, could you, Drew?

1:32:02 Drew I could.

1:32:05 Adam Drew, you need something with a fourth A in it. You know what I mean? It's even beyond AAA. It's like, I am that big a puss.

1:32:13 Drew I need a triple A for A-holes. Triple A to quadruple A.

1:32:18 Adam Right. Triple A is for guys who aren't, you know, handy. I am a full blown woman. I need quadruple A. All right, let's take a little break. What do you say? Hoobastank here. Quick break. We'll be right back.

1:32:31 Hoobastank Alright guys, bottom line, here's the deal. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:32:36 Caller One call is all you need to make. Call the dateline.

1:32:39 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:32:44 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:33:11 Adam Well there it is everybody. I want to thank dear, dear, dear, dear, dear friends, Hoobastank for coming in here tonight, especially for the show.

1:33:18 Drew They can get back on a plane, go back to Miami. How good I know. How great for them.

1:33:22 Adam I know. Poor guys.

1:33:23 Hoobastank Can you get us some family guy for us?

1:33:25 Adam I'll put a word in for it.

1:33:27 Hoobastank I'll be the token, you know, half Asian, dude.

1:33:29 Adam You don't say can you sound a little more Asian?

1:33:31 Caller I mean, yes, I would be by pure Asia to speak of Asian.

1:33:36 Adam You're only half Asian. That's right.

1:33:39 Caller I've got plenty of years of a poor act of this.

1:33:42 Adam That's great. What the dudes? True. Doing stewie. All right. The reason, the name of the CD. Go out and get it. The band got on a plane flew across the country here. I was going to say halfway across the country, but no, across the country. Be on the show tonight. We always appreciate it. I'll put an award with Seth and I'm your Asian guy. All right. Until next time, this Adam Corolla. Well, they have a Trisha Tuckanoe, who is the token Asian.

1:34:09 Caller She doesn't have the voice, though.

1:34:11 Adam She got.

1:34:12 Caller It's not like that, though.

1:34:13 Drew She doesn't have it like this.

1:34:15 Adam No, she doesn't have that.

1:34:16 Caller This is legit right here. This is, you know.

1:34:18 Drew The reason is the name of the CD.

1:34:19 Adam Yes.

1:34:20 Drew Which is the reason they came out from my house.

1:34:22 Adam That's right. So that's actually their management made them. So until next time, I'm Adam Crowe for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:34:32 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, April 6, 2004