Episode 1000603407508

0:52 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:02 Voiceover Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Jena Malone is here tonight. The United States of Leland is the name of the new movie. Well, also, you know her work from Cold Mountain, Life is a House, Donnie Darko, stepmom, contact. Wait, who were you in contact?

1:30 Jena Malone Your mama. No, I was the young Jodie Foster. Oh, yeah. I played her as a child.

1:38 Adam Yeah, when she'd always dreamt of space travel. I like to do it like a flashback to the person and they weren't doing anything that was at all connected to where they were today.

1:50 Drew That would be the Corolla story.

1:51 Adam Yeah, for me, I thought it was going to be a pirate who played professional football. It would be like I'd have a radio flashback and it would just be me thinking about being a pirate.

1:59 Drew Right.

2:00 Adam It would come back to real time and go, well, that's why it's so bad.

2:03 Jena Malone With you in a bathtub at some hotel.

2:06 Adam Yeah, I just, you know, somehow they can always conveniently get to the part where they're talking about astronomy at age nine. Well, how old were you? You must have, well, you're 19 now, right?

2:16 Jena Malone I was 12 when I did that, I think.

2:19 Adam And you're playing?

2:20 Jena Malone A 12 year old, I think 11.

2:23 Adam Didn't tell you that?

2:24 Jena Malone No, they did. I just, I don't think it was very important to the character.

2:27 Adam It was the same age you are.

2:28 Jena Malone Right.

2:29 Adam Yeah.

2:29 Jena Malone I'm just sort of the young child.

2:32 Drew Her dad died and she's trying to contact him.

2:34 Jena Malone Yeah, totally. And there's that really cool shot when she's like, everyone asked me about it, like sort of.

2:39 Drew Through the window.

2:40 Jena Malone Yeah, running through, coming back and pulling back for the bathroom mirror. And it goes from slow motion to sped up.

2:46 Adam The movie Contact scared the bejesus out of me, not because of the content of the film, but because the beginning of the film. And you'll remember this, I'm sure, although Drew will not. It was a shot from like outer space. And it was sort of moving toward Earth, getting closer and closer and closer.

3:11 Drew Crazy sound.

3:11 Jena Malone Yeah, it starts in silence.

3:13 Adam But it starts in silence. It starts in dead, dark silence. And so what do I do? Now, it's one of my first DVDs I'm ever going to watch in my new home surround theater. And which I still can't work to this day, and it's been nine years now. I pop the DVD in, I hit play. Well, we got we got we got a video. We got video. There's no audio. There's no audio. It's a turn this thing on. Turn the boost up on the thing. Start punching buttons.

3:42 Jena Malone And then all of a sudden it kicks in.

3:44 Adam Let me just say something that drives me goddamn nuts. The new stereos, the nice stereos, you buy high end stereo. It has a knob, a volume knob that never stops. It's a Brody knob. It'll just keep turning and turning and turning.

3:56 Drew There's lots of negative numbers. It's very clear.

3:58 Adam Comfortable listening at the Corolla house is negative 18. When you get up to like plus three, you're blowing the windows out of the joint. And I keep screaming at the stereo guy. You can't just have it go from one to ten. There's got to be negative 56. What does that mean? Like I owe sound? What does negative sound mean? Like I hear my own heartbeat. That's it. I'm back in the womb. So naturally I have no idea what any of these numbers or things mean. So being plus 16 or negative 28, I had this thing cranked up to like plus 25, which is as loud as it ever. And then all of a sudden in the movie, it's not a slow burn, it's boom. And you know, stuff shaking and falling. I'm diving. It's like I scared the bejesus out of me. And yes, that was you who did that. That wasn't me.

4:47 That was Robert Semeckis.

4:49 Jena Malone But that's awesome.

4:50 Drew The through the window thing is that they use one of those those crazy robotic apparatus. No, no, they have these things that reproduce movement. I couldn't believe this. It looked like looked like some looked like the damn machine that they built to make the contact. Right.

5:04 Jena Malone Totally. No, I think. Yeah, I think for that one, what they used was they used crane shots to sort of move into something. And then they'd they'd take that image and they did digitally reproduce it on blue screen. And they'd put the blue screen like sort of around the frame of the window. And they'd they'd put that image in the in that little space.

5:24 Adam Derek, I got to get down to the minus. I'm still on the minus.

5:28 Jena Malone So really, minus you understand that because it actually in a weird way, it might offer you more. You know, not only do you have plus channels, but you have negative channels.

5:37 Adam Minus is the comfortable listening. Minus about 16 is where you want it. If you get to zero, it's way too loud.

5:44 Drew By the way, I'm not done with contact. I am a non-sci-fi movie guy. I do not find anything appealing about them, but this was so clever and so interesting. It stays with me to this day.

5:59 Adam Really? And by the way, we're talking about the man who's not seen Raging Bull.

6:04 Drew Crazy.

6:05 Adam Who's not seen The Shining.

6:07 Drew Seen The Shining.

6:07 Adam Well, I forced him to see a sort of...

6:10 Jena Malone And what did you think after forced into that?

6:12 Adam He didn't like it because he watched it at home and it was sort of one of those arm twisting, like finish your peas kind of movie watching experiences where he sort of watched half on and half off.

6:23 Drew I could appreciate that somebody would like it.

6:25 Adam I didn't like it.

6:26 Drew I don't like horror films at all.

6:27 Adam But the thing about The Shining is it's a two and a half, three hour movie and nothing happens for the first hour and 20 minutes. So, I mean, you have to be sort of captive. You almost have to be forced to watch it. And let me say this. I was just thinking, you know, it's unfortunate. All right, I'm going to take an ax to Drew if you don't shut that off, Anderson. It's, you know, it's unfortunate that people, you know, have the choice to watch movies not in the theater these days.

6:59 Drew Yes.

6:59 Adam And I know it sounds like hypocrite. But I mean, something like The Shining, great movie. If Drew had seen it in the theater, he would have really enjoyed it. There's many movies that I have seen out of the theater that I haven't been able to stay with because, yeah, they're a great film, but the phone's ringing and I get up and come back.

7:16 Drew Where, last night I went to a film where I, by the way, saw the trailer for United States of Leyland. It looked very interesting. But I walked into a theater that was big and I thought, oh, my God, I've not seen a film on a big screen in five years.

7:32 Adam Because you saw something for the kids, right?

7:33 Drew No, no, they were seeing.

7:35 Adam Spy Kids 8.

7:36 Drew Hidalgo and I went over and saw Lady Killers. Oh, really? And it was on the big, big, big room. You know, there's lots of little rooms, these theaters now. And they make a difference. Anyway.

7:47 Adam I heard it wasn't great, but go ahead.

7:48 Drew No.

7:49 Jena Malone Well, the original, I mean, that's like Peter Sellers. Don't mess with it, you know?

7:53 Adam Yeah, I heard the original was good.

7:54 Jena Malone It's incredible.

7:56 Adam You're 19. Well, you saw that movie?

7:57 Jena Malone Yeah, well, I'm a big fan of Peter Sellers.

8:00 Well, that's a good stage person to be a fan of.

8:02 Jena Malone But I have to definitely, sorry, you finish and then I'm going to contest the point.

8:05 Drew Well, this film looks very interesting, your film.

8:07 Adam I saw the trailer.

8:08 Drew Yeah, it looks very, what is it that's so special about him? If I could, that does not come through in the trailer.

8:15 Jena Malone What is so special about Leland?

8:17 Drew Yes, he kills somebody because of you. It's all your fault.

8:23 Jena Malone I mean, but that's exactly what the film's trying not to do, is sort of give you that crisp, easy understanding of why, of why these sort of...

8:30 Drew But what comes through the trailer over and over again is like, we've never seen a case like this before. This guy's extraordinary. This kid's got you under his grip too. It is.

8:37 Jena Malone Is the trailer marketing is that? That's funny.

8:39 Drew That's what comes out multiple times.

8:40 Jena Malone Well, what they're saying is like in the juvenile detention sort of system is that there's usually a lot of gang-related people who are being inducted in there, and there's a lot of, you know, just pretty like cases that we hear about all the time. And this was a boy that... Yeah, totally. You know, people sort of tattled tail on other gangs and just all these sort of strange interconnected things. And this is a boy that's sort of, you know, it's just sort of like what happened like a year ago with all the school killings, you know? It's like, it's never expected because he's white and he's, you know, has a good family. But also particularly from him, he really doesn't show a lot of emotion. And he confesses to it, and it's not like he has all of these traumatic, like, oh, he listens to heavy metal or he, you know, wears trench coats. There's not an easy sort of out for an explanation of why he could commit this crime. And I think that's what's so interesting. And that's what makes people want to sort of investigate it more.

9:37 Adam Well, the school killings are the domain of the white man. I want to let you know. It is. It's always confusing when we get our colors mixed up. Like when we found out that the sniper was black in DC was like, oh, my God, I got to go back to the drawing board. I go back to the racist drawing board and get this straightened out.

9:58 Drew You got to straighten out the guy in Ohio. He's straightened it all out for you.

10:01 Adam Right. Couldn't hit anybody.

10:03 Drew But even the kids in Denver turned out to be messed up. I mean, this business about the kids in the school, I couldn't imagine what happened. Long history of very serious stuff.

10:14 Adam Yeah. As a matter of fact, I think I saw this movie reviewed by Siskel and Roper. It was a year ago or something. It's all coming back to me in bits and pieces. But the movie's been around for a little bit, right?

10:32 Jena Malone I made it when I was... I made it when I was like 16. Oh, really? So three years ago. And it came out on the 2003 Sundance Film Festival. That's where it premiered. And it was picked up right away. And then just sort of trying to figure out where it fit in the format of when people would see it. And we're up against basically The Rock. And I think that there's not a lot of people who are going to be seeing this film that would really want to see Walking Tall. I'm not quite sure about that.

11:05 Drew The movie going crowd as opposed to what it is.

11:09 Adam He's no Joe Don Baker, I'll tell you that right now. Remember him? Walking Tall. Let us two by four do his talk.

11:15 Drew Nice reference.

11:16 Adam Yeah. Lauren? You're 17?

11:19 Caller Yeah.

11:20 Adam What's up?

11:21 Caller Well, first I wanted to say that I saw Donnie Darko over the weekend and that is like the weirdest movie I've ever seen in my life.

11:31 Adam Yeah.

11:31 Caller Yeah.

11:32 Adam Anderson loves that movie.

11:33 Caller Like it made no sense whatsoever.

11:35 Jena Malone Well, give it another watching, you know.

11:40 Caller That's got to be because you're a little slow.

11:42 Adam Anderson loved that movie. I never saw it.

11:45 Caller I probably am.

11:45 Drew You were talking about that last time you were up here.

11:47 Jena Malone I think so, yeah.

11:48 Drew Yes, I remember that.

11:48 Adam All right. Well, listen, Lauren, you know, she's 17 years old. She doesn't know that much. All right. Watch it again.

11:56 Caller Right. My question was, like, I finish a lot faster than my boyfriend, and it's only when I'm on top, but like when he's on top, like, I don't finish at all, and I was wondering why.

12:13 Adam You get a little more direct stimulation that way. Look, I, why do, you know, why does a massage around your neck and shoulders feel better than one around your calves and thighs? I don't know. That's what you like.

12:27 Drew Right. I figured that way, that it makes, you know, the fact that you can orgasm during intercourse puts you way ahead of everybody else.

12:33 Adam Especially at 17.

12:34 Drew That she can. That she can. You're capable of that is. Right. Nothing short of remarkable.

12:39 Adam At 17.

12:40 Drew At 17. Yeah.

12:41 Adam Yeah.

12:41 Drew And so as you get older, there may be more generalization to that. You may be able to do it with him on top, perhaps. But just the fact that you can't work out the intercourse puts you ahead of the pack.

12:50 Adam Oh, yeah. Like a Kenyan out in front of some drunken Irishman. Like way out in front. Just looking over your shoulder and laughing.

13:01 Drew This is how amazing, think how ridiculous we are in educating women about their bodies. That a woman that has advanced function has to think, what's the matter with me? Why do I, why only when I'm on top? How weird.

13:14 Adam Well.

13:15 Drew I mean, that's ridiculous.

13:16 Adam It is. But here's the thing, I think we're sort of, and this is a scary part as far as the direction society's turned, but people aren't looking to relish whatever it is they have. They're looking for the piece that's missing. I mean, it's like some gin rummy hand. You're not, you're not excited or proud over the cards you have. There's still two or three that you're missing and those are the ones you're looking for.

13:41 Drew There's something more onerous going on, which is that we're not allowing women to really express what they actually are. They have to be something that they're supposed to be. And actually allowing them to speak up and share what they actually are, which is quite diverse and quite different, is somehow threatening.

13:59 Adam Well let me speak on Jena's behalf as a woman, she says.

14:06 Jena Malone I was totally listening, but I don't know, I was about to ask your name. I don't know, I feel like we don't really get a chance to explore a lot of our sexuality until we have a partner, and then we almost feel like things are... Well, it's just sort of what happens.

14:24 Drew You're not motivated to. A male, you can't force them not to, you cannot create a paradigm where they won't. They will electrocute, they will grow hair in their palms, they'll go blind, whatever, they're still doing it. And if they don't do it, God does it for them.

14:38 Jena Malone Totally. But like if you're in a relationship and you realize that you like sort of like it better on top, it's because also it's like you have more control over what you're doing to your body and like different rhythms that feel better for you. And I think sometimes if you can just apply that to like other sexual situations, like just sort of take from what you like, what feels good, you know, when you're on top, then you can sort of, you know, apply that to other things and that might sort of help out a little bit.

15:05 Adam She's 17. Fine. Nadia? Hi. And you don't much care for Darko?

15:12 Jena Malone If it's weird, it's good.

15:13 Adam All right.

15:14 Jena Malone It's never mind.

15:15 Adam Hey. What's happening?

15:17 Nothing much.

15:18 Adam Got a question?

15:22 I want to know if I can get eczema on my vagina.

15:27 Drew Eczema on your vagina. You have eczema on your skin?

15:30 Caller Yeah.

15:31 Drew You have asthma?

15:33 Caller I don't think so.

15:35 Drew You have asthma? You have asthma?

15:37 Adam You have asthma?

15:37 Drew You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma?

15:42 Adam You have asthma?

15:43 Drew You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma?

15:48 Adam You have asthma?

15:50 Drew Uh, are you there? Nadia, listen, wait, bye-bye. Should I gotta find out what she's seeing now?

15:54 Adam Ah, listen, I speak for all women, go ahead and ask me.

15:57 Drew Eczema is a skin thing, you don't really, but you can get overlap in the mucosal services when you have skin syndrome.

16:04 Adam I talked to her, her phone line's bad.

16:05 Drew Nadia, what are you seeing on the vagina?

16:07 Caller Um, like, like bumps, and it's really like itchy and red, like I have on my arms and my neck and my legs.

16:14 Drew Are you sexually active?

16:16 Yeah.

16:18 Caller I use protection like all the time with my boyfriend, so.

16:21 Drew Condom. Condom?

16:23 Uh-huh.

16:24 Drew You know what? One of the things about-

16:26 Adam She's also got something going on in the background, which is distracting.

16:28 Drew All right, here's the deal. You can put a hold now. One of the things about being examinous is you tend to be allergic to a lot of things called atopy, and one of the things you could easily be allergic to is latex. So using latex condoms may be having a reaction to that.

16:39 Adam People have eczema or are allergic to a lot of stuff?

16:43 Drew And so you may want to use a polyurethane condom or something, and also since you are sexually active, somebody needs to look at what this is so they can diagnose it properly.

16:50 Adam I can't hang with people that are allergic to stuff. I don't like them as human beings. I've said it many times. I don't like them.

16:56 Drew You know my...

16:57 Adam And you know what? I never believe them. Like I was listening to a little talk radio today and they're like, oh, I'm glad they banned smoking on the beach at Santa Monica, and then someone will call in and go. Yeah, they did, yeah. That's ridiculous. I know, and then, I know. What about liberty, everybody? What about that one? Everyone's, here's the whole thing, everybody. You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? You have asthma? Who wants to charge $10 packs? That's not a good sign. I totally agree with you. It's a really bad sign. And it's really, it's an easy sell because, look, if 80% of the population doesn't do something or is not interested in something, then it's real easy to go, who thinks this 20% or 15 or whatever percent should be penalized, punished, whatever, exiled, banished? Well, it's a democracy and people have spoken. I've said this so many times. I've also, all right, but the point is, I get excited, but the point is is, whenever they do these talk shows, people always call in and it's always that guy and he's going, I'm allergic to smoke. And when my neighbors smoke, I ask that they, and I just think, pussy, can't hang with this guy.

18:21 Drew Oh, that's wonderful.

18:23 Adam Won't this be nice for you? I'm sure there are people who are allergic to smoke out there. All I know is, coincidentally or not, I will hate that person. I know they're world-class pussy and I could never hang out with them.

18:35 Jena Malone But it's such a big world out there. You know what I mean? It's like, come on, how long has like, just people in general have been smoking? And it's such a new thing to put these bands on people, particularly in public places. And it's such a, I don't know, I think it's like the first step in a lot of things that are going to follow, which is the sort of the scariest thing.

18:53 Adam Slip or slope, slip or slope, slip or slope. No, it's true. I mean, the idea that 20 years ago, you couldn't smoke a cigarette on the beach of all places, which is just one huge ashtray out front of Vegas Hotel for me. And then number two that you would be getting $250 fines for it. And it's always, you know, everyone always says, oh, the cigarette butts or the whatever. Well, look, that's life. I mean, you can't outlaw fast food because some people throw the garbage out into the street. Yeah, I know Drew was had an idea for something else there. But what I'm saying is, is look, if there's a problem, then you find the people who throw the butts in the ash and you put more receptacles about butts.

19:34 Drew Was this about smoke exposure?

19:36 Adam It's you know, they always get a little vague. They always get a little vague. But two hundred different types of poisons in the butts of the cigarette, by the way.

19:44 Drew Oh, yeah.

19:45 Adam Yeah. So if you stand on that, you'll get foot cancer.

19:47 Drew And don't worry. I see many, many, many cases of cigarette butt related illnesses.

19:53 Adam Yes. Yes. Secondhand smoke. People crawling in and dying in your office every day. Secondhand smoke.

19:57 Drew Secondhand smoke. Only the cigarette butt exposure.

19:59 Adam First rate killer. First rate killer, the secondhand smoke.

20:02 Drew All right.

20:04 Adam It's just all we're saying is, is cigarettes are not good for you. They're bad for you. And that's not a good thing to encourage young people to smoke. But it's a very slippery slope. I hate to say it. When we start, first off, turning things lying, essentially, saying 55,000 people a year die of secondhand smoke. And then secondly, essentially using scare tactics and deception and then outlawing everything because people make a choice and it could possibly hurt them. Really, because you really got to extend that into fast food and motorcycles. I mean, you got to start stretching that into every possible thing where somebody could do some damage to themselves or someone around them. Thank you. Let's talk to Christina. Christina?

20:53 Drew I have a million thoughts about what you just said. Hello.

20:55 Adam All right.

20:55 Drew Well, hold on.

20:56 Adam What are they? What?

20:58 Drew Well, first of all, we're becoming, these are first rate problems. We're becoming a second rate country as a result of them adjudicating them. But the base of love, I'm just going to bore you.

21:09 Adam Go, buddy.

21:11 Drew Aristotle believed that we're supposed to create virtuous people. People live a virtuous life.

21:15 Adam That was Jackie Kennedy's husband.

21:17 Drew Yeah, Aristotle, a Greek man also.

21:20 Adam It's huge glasses on that cat. Good look. I mean, not a great looking guy, but he really pulled down some world class tale.

21:26 Drew I think we're getting confused of what is virtuous and what is healthy. You got a yacht and what is choice.

21:33 Adam You know what I'm saying? You wear those big, Swifty, Lazar glasses, you smoke the cigar and you got that like a 200 foot yacht.

21:40 Jena Malone Strong Greek nose.

21:40 Adam Yeah, very strong. I guess he was a handsome man in many ways. He had those Greek features. What were you saying?

21:47 Drew Good times.

21:48 Adam Well, let's keep the show moving.

21:49 Drew Let's do a German or a Florida, just to cap that.

21:52 Adam Christina? Hello? You're 14. It's time to play Germany or Florida.

21:57 Caller Yes. Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis, sex, meth and death fetishes, both of them have got these. Guaranteed not the Boria, Germany or Florida.

22:06 I love that song.

22:08 Adam That's right. It really, I got to tell you.

22:10 Drew A jig.

22:11 Adam The first time we heard it, I label it as more of a shanty than a song, but it's growing on me.

22:18 Drew It has grown on us.

22:19 Adam It really is. And it does really sum up the essence of Germany and Florida.

22:24 To start off, I want to say, Dr. Drew, Adam Carolla, you guys are the boss. Love your show.

22:28 Adam Thank you. Thank you.

22:29 I have to make this kind of quick because the phone is going to die. All right. So there's a pet shop owner and he is selling ant colonies and ants. He's selling ants individually for $700 and whole colonies for $2,000. And kids in that area, they are just going absolutely crazy over these ants and it's a really big fat.

22:53 Drew Individual specialty ants.

22:55 Jena Malone I mean, are they just regular ants?

22:58 Drew How much is per ant? $700 per ant. Yes.

23:02 Adam So I could make a killing with their philosophy behind the ants.

23:06 Jena Malone He's selling something else.

23:07 I mean, no, just ants and you get the little house to keep them in.

23:10 Adam All right. Well, no, this is the Uncle Milti ant farm thing, I think. No, no. Okay. Here's Uncle Milton. Here's the whole thing. First off, this is a horrible example of Germany or Florida. Some mad man is selling an ant. She's not playing the game right. She's leaving something out.

23:34 Drew Yeah.

23:35 Adam Maybe what she's saying is, is someone has got hold of these vintage ant farms from way back in the day.

23:42 Drew I see.

23:42 Adam And they're reselling them for much more. We got to go Germany. Christina's 14. So we'll forgive her. Oops. She's a Christina. Are you done with the story or is there any part of it you're withholding? Germany. Thank you. That was horrible. You're a horrible person. He's selling ants for $700.

24:12 Drew No.

24:13 Jena Malone If he was selling a philosophy behind the ant, sort of like a little magical story, he can concoct it about these ants.

24:18 Drew She misread the story. Yeah.

24:21 Adam All right. All right. Jena Malone is here tonight. The movie is The United States of Leland. It is opening in theaters on April 2nd in New York, in Los Angeles and then probably spreading throughout the country. We'll take a quick break and we'll be right back.

24:42 Caller As many as one in three Americans with HIV don't know it. To find a testing location near you, call toll-free 1-866-344-K-N-O-W.

25:02 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Ethan is coming in from Survivor, who's got his ass voted off, I think, last week. Jena Malone is here tonight from the United States of Leland, New York, in Los Angeles, April 2nd. Drew saw the move, or saw the trailer, looks powerful. I saw it reviewed, I think, by Roper and Siskel, or Eeper, or Roper.

25:31 Jena Malone Yeah, what did they say?

25:33 Adam I remember them giving a very favorable review, but it was at least nine or 10 months back. Let me say this before Ethan comes in here from Survivor, which is, I got this theory about, you know how, he's a soccer player, and evidently, I don't know, professional soccer player, you know how these things work on these reality shows. A guy plays a little soccer, he's a pro soccer player, and if a chick stands next to a car at the auto show, she's a high fashion model, you know, they, well, we get it all the time on our show.

26:09 Drew Speaks four languages, but I went to Rome once.

26:12 Adam Doesn't speak English. Yeah. We've had him on the show many times, but we'll talk to Ethan about it when he gets here, but I think he was a professional soccer player. Here's the point, gets his ass kicked by Boston Robb, the construction worker from Boston, and all these sort of ones that have to do with footwork, and speed, and agility, and all that dexterity, and all that kind of stuff. And you think, and last week got thrown off, this guy Robb kept knocking him off this, they were doing this log rolling. You know, he was just spinning. This is nothing but soccer dribbling. This is nothing but footwork on the thing. And it just, oh, quiet, made me think two things. First off, soccer, not a real sport, and not getting the cream of the crop athletes. Secondly, you show me a guy, I don't care what he's doing for a living, but an a-hole from Boston, who's got a sharp mouth, and this is the guy, this is the guy who could beat up the guy who's the black belt. You know what I mean? Just because he's angrier than the other guy is, or just because he is what he is. This guy, it doesn't matter who you are, this guy's Boston Robb, you're a professional soccer player, he's gonna out footwork you on the log roll, not getting you into the thing, because he's Boston Robb.

27:20 Drew I actually spent two days with Ethan once.

27:22 Adam Oh, you did?

27:22 Drew In Pittsburgh.

27:23 Adam Log rolling?

27:24 Drew He did not mention soccer once.

27:25 Adam Oh, he didn't?

27:26 Drew No, so that'll be interesting to see if, huh.

27:30 Jena Malone But what if it's like a childhood thing? You know, it's like sort of like they're like kind of pro or like head of their high school.

27:36 Drew I'm telling you, that's high school soccer player.

27:38 Adam I know, I know.

27:39 Jena Malone But what, yeah, okay.

27:40 Drew That's television pro.

27:41 Adam Television is his, he was gonna be professional baseball player until his career was cut short in the eighth grade. If we get a lot, I'm gonna be a pro ball player. Yeah, everyone was gonna be a pro ball player up until the point where they didn't get the scholarship coming out of high school.

27:59 Drew We got a lot of, when we were doing the TV show, Loveline, a lot of, well, Jill here in medical school dropped out just mid-residency for her-

28:08 Adam To become a model.

28:08 Drew To become a model. And you talk to her and it's like, I took a biology class in high school and I thought about it for about five minutes.

28:17 Adam Yeah, and see, in the celebrity world, you thinking you're gonna do something is like some preordained thing. Well, then it is. It is written.

28:26 Drew You did that.

28:26 Jena Malone Totally.

28:27 Drew That's where you were headed until this all happened to you.

28:29 Adam He was gonna do it. Yeah, had she not started blowing overweight Middle Eastern guys in Milan at age 15, she would have been one of the world's greatest pediatric surgeons, you know? Well, she never got past the ninth grade and he never played high school ball even. I'm not sure how he could have played. I'm not talking about Ethan. I'm talking about all the actor guys who were gonna play professional baseball except for they never played in high school.

28:57 Right.

29:00 Drew And by the way, That's gonna be your story when they start getting pirate astronaut.

29:03 Adam Pirate astronaut. Pirate astronaut. I was gonna be.

29:06 Drew No, no, not gonna be.

29:08 Adam I would have been.

29:10 Drew You are a pirate astronaut.

29:12 Adam R.

29:12 Drew Yes, RRR. You got good. No, he was a pirate astronaut and then the man show happened.

29:18 Adam That's right. And I had to drop out of the pirate as well.

29:21 Drew It's tough to get a coat. You'd run and run your course.

29:23 Adam I had the black patch over the space helmet, over just the one eye. It's actually had to have the strap and widen so I could actually put my pirate patch and I have a uniform made up for my parrot. You're 25?

29:39 Caller Yep.

29:40 Adam What's up?

29:42 Caller I was with this guy for about six months or so. The relationship was rocky and I used to like knowing that I used to like getting my way with him but I make him think that he got his way. I was a good girl from whatever.

29:55 Drew Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whatever that statement was made no sense to me. I used to let him think he got his way but I got my way because I made him believe I was a good girl.

30:07 Caller Yeah, you know.

30:09 Drew That doesn't make any sense to me.

30:11 Adam Who cares? Let's just get through this call so I can get back to talking.

30:14 Caller Oh, thanks. Hurry. Well, the thing is, I just recently broke up and I just, I'm just leading him on and I've been a super bitch with him.

30:28 Adam Well, wait a second.

30:29 Caller Just out of spite, I put the cops on him.

30:32 Drew The what?

30:33 Caller I put the cops on him.

30:35 Adam All right. This is why I hate people like Lucy. How many times have I screamed about this? Hold on a second. Now I'm getting going on another thing, which is this, okay, I'm all full of rage tonight, but here's the whole thing. I call 911, I gotta wait in line for an hour, even though, by the way, this is hypothetical because I've never in my 39 goddamn years called 911. Imagine, made it to 39, haven't sued anybody and haven't called 911 yet, but it's because a-holes are using the cops to screw with their neighbors, to screw with their exes, oh, because there's a domestic dispute and they gotta call them for the fifth time that month. When are we gonna start penalizing the people that just sort of use the cops? You know, I got the cops showing up my house at a New Year's party at 9.30 in the evening because the neighbors thought it'd be a good idea. Like, look, you can't just use, hey, I'm gonna screw with you, I'll get a restraining order out against you. You know what I'm talking about? And how come, by the way, we can't start punishing these people?

31:36 Drew We should charge them. No, no, you can just charge them. If you wanna treat the cops like your own personal police force, pay them like your own personal police force.

31:44 Adam Yes!

31:44 Drew That's all.

31:45 Adam Oh, here's the deal. The cops show up at your house, the music's not too loud, nothing's too rowdy, nothing's out of hand. It's 9.45, it's New Year's. Now we're going to the person that made the call and saying that's gonna be 286 bucks, please. You wasted a lot of taxpayer time and money there.

32:00 Drew Thank you. Ambulances ask for share.

32:02 Jena Malone Or could we have just like in-betweeners to sort of navigate calls to sort of like, if it's just something that's kind of pending.

32:07 Adam I've said this many times. Let's put those pussy parking enforcement wusses to do something other than writing everyone tickets. There's millions of them.

32:15 Jena Malone Or the rent-a-cops, we'll just sort of, you know, hire them on the weekends or something.

32:17 Adam Well, see they're, yeah, we'd have to pay them though. I say get the parking enforcement guys to show up for the domestic, you know, tell them to turn the stereo down.

32:24 Drew So basically we need a better triage for the calls too.

32:26 Adam Yeah, we need someone in between the guy who's stopping the North Hollywood bank robber. Look, here's what I want. The guys who are having a shootout with the North Hollywood bank robber should be the same guy who's coming over to your house and tell you to turn the stereo down?

32:38 Drew No.

32:39 Adam No. It's someone in between who gets about half the money and has half the training.

32:43 Drew All right, Lucy.

32:45 Adam Yes.

32:45 Drew Lucy, why are you behaving like a horrible person?

32:48 Caller Okay, well, yeah, that's what I want to know. Like, I've done some horrible things, irregardless of if I put the cops or what on him, I've done some terrible things.

32:55 Adam How do you put the cops on him? How does that work?

32:58 Caller Well, I really can't. I guess I can talk about it, but I just, I choose kind of not to right now. But I've done some really horrible things to him. What's wrong with me?

33:08 Adam Well, you're not a great person, but I'm guessing your parents made you into someone crappy and that you don't have the brain power to pull yourself out of that crap mire that they put you in. But listen.

33:18 Caller I get some sick satisfaction doing it. I mean, I think it's hilarious when he's suffering. I mean, it's not, believe me, I grew up with a great family. I grew up dying for my mom.

33:26 Adam I'm sure there were, I'm sure there were delight.

33:29 Caller Oh, well I've had some, you know, I've seen some things, but I mean, of course, I mean, I grew up with a good family.

33:35 Drew No, Lucy, Lucy, it doesn't go both, Lucy.

33:41 No, hey, ba, ba.

33:43 Drew It doesn't go both ways, Lucy. You don't have a great family and a family that lets you see some things. That's a horrible family that lets you see some things.

33:51 Jena Malone Yeah, and I mean, if you were being like, emotionally false with him during the relationship, then maybe, you know, there's some like, dishonesty in what you're doing right now. And how can you say that you're just like having, you know, that you're really having fun, hurting someone.

34:06 Drew She is. This is what a horrible person does and feels. Oh, true. No, no, no. That's true. It's the case that when people have glee, glee at another person's distress and harm, that's the child pulling the, you know, the, putting the M80 up the cat, you know, and pulling the feathers off the cat.

34:25 I mean, as a child, I grew up, you know, in a Catholic home.

34:30 Adam Let her talk. And by the way, Catholic home doesn't mean ass to anybody who has two brain cells to rub together. Please, you religious retards, everyone, everyone in the joint is a big God fearing Christian and Catholic. Are you kidding? You think there's any Jews or atheists in there? Please.

34:46 Caller Well, I don't know.

34:49 Adam Okay, religious home, by the way, when are we going to stop just, when are we just gonna start checking that off the list? How many times does Bill Clinton have to talk to his clergy or Bobby Brown or Whitney Houston have to go to church before we just start writing it off as a joke? Really? Well, he met with his spiritual advisors. Okay, shut up.

35:11 Drew Whitney Houston's a mess.

35:12 Adam Well, but true.

35:13 Drew She's not left treatment after five days.

35:14 Adam She needs at least six months of treatment. She's a religious woman. She's deeply.

35:18 Drew She was taken Israel by a religious leader.

35:19 Adam She's a deeply religious woman, true. This should all work itself out.

35:22 Drew It's crazy. Listen, here, let me just, a statement of fact. It's all gonna work out.

35:25 Adam It's gonna work out.

35:26 Drew If all we needed to do to treat the emotionally, how can I say this euphemistically, the emotionally-

35:34 Adam Bankrupt.

35:35 Drew Challenge the addicts is get them a spiritual leader. That's precisely what I would do with them, but that does not help.

35:42 Adam How can you argue with Whitney making the pilgrimage back to the native land last year? Yeah, all right. Obviously it's a joke. It's just everyone else is too big a pussy to talk about. What a joke this religion has turned into. Thank you. All right. Now, Lucy, let me ask you a couple of questions. And Drew, you be quiet and Lucy, you got to shut up too and just answer my questions. What kind of weird stuff did you see at home?

36:12 Caller My uncle and my dad used to have playboys lying around.

36:17 Adam That doesn't count.

36:19 Caller And I would constantly hear my parents having sex.

36:25 Adam All right.

36:26 Caller I mean, I would walk in on them and I would be like, what's going on? Okay.

36:32 Adam All right. But you were never struck or beaten or sexually abused.

36:37 Caller No, no. God, no. God, no. My dad's always been that kind of protective guy who, you know.

36:43 Adam And he's, he's, he's still with your mom?

36:48 Drew No, no. But this is.

36:49 Adam And he's a non-alcoholic or anything?

36:51 Caller No. My, my parents, they've only drank when they go to like weddings. That's it. But they don't drink on.

36:56 Drew But listen.

36:57 Adam They go to, every day they go to a wedding.

36:58 Drew Their daughter walks in on them having sex. That is, that's, that is, follow that path.

37:05 Adam Here's, here's, I want to get back to what you told the cops this guy did. That's the part I want to know. Yes. Yes.

37:13 Caller Well, let's just say I'm a very clumsy person and I have a lot of bruises. I run into things and he kind of pissed me off. So what I did was I called the cops and said, he kind of manhandled me.

37:25 Adam Right. They made a report.

37:28 Caller He got arrested.

37:29 Adam All right. Well, listen, Lucy.

37:31 Caller He got arrested and I called him and I told him what was going to happen to him.

37:35 Adam Lucy, here's the thing. First off, I pray to Christ you have no kids. Do you have any kids? Yeah. Yeah. How many do you have? Please try not to do as horrible a job on the kid as your parents did on you. That's your goal. And number two, if you grew up in a great environment, your parents are together, everyone loved each other and there was no abuse or anything, then knock it off. Stop acting like a horrible person.

38:03 Caller Why am I like that? Why don't I show you guys the real me?

38:06 Adam I don't know, but it's high time you stopped acting on it.

38:09 Caller I generally want to stop.

38:12 Adam Then just stop it. I don't know where to go.

38:14 Drew Well, how?

38:15 Caller Just smack me on the arm and say, hey, you know what, Lucy, stop it.

38:19 Drew Well, that's the point, Lucy. Lucy, excellent point. And that means that you saw some more heinous things than you're admitting to.

38:25 Caller Well, whatever.

38:26 Drew Get some therapy. And it needs treatment. You didn't see your dad go into rage and you weren't hiding in closets and that kind of thing.

38:33 Caller No.

38:33 Caller All right.

38:34 Adam Then get some therapy for yourself on behalf of your kid, for Christ's sake.

38:38 Caller Well, what I do in front of my...

38:41 Adam Shut up.

38:42 Drew There's something very much missing from her story.

38:44 Adam There's something very much missing from the story. But look, everybody, if you got a problem and you want it to go away, then feel free to do something about it.

38:53 Drew It's possible that Lucy... You know, one of the other ways you get this way is, you know, she gets involved with a gang at a young age and just never, you know, really becomes... Loses her capacity for empathy.

39:05 Jena Malone But don't you think it depends on how she was disciplined as a child and that it's like...

39:09 Adam Well, look, let's put it this way. There's certainly some bad eggs out there. They're just... Sometimes it's nurture and sometimes it's nature. If what Lucy says is true, then it's nature. The point is, is she's not a great person. The good news is she'd like to stop being a bad person. And I'm telling her that it's going to take a little work. And if you have an impulse to do something, it's probably not a great idea. And I would like the cops to arrest the people that are doing this stuff. And you know, these kind of situations where, you know, the wives call in, you know, Jim Brown, the football player, his, you know, wife who's, you know, 30 years younger than he is or 40 years or whatever, calls the cops screaming, he's beating me, he's going to kill me. And then goes to court a few months later and she says, yeah, I was just trying to get attention. Now, look, either he talked to her and she changed her story or she decided on, you know, that it never happened.

40:09 Drew Either case.

40:09 Adam One of them is going to jail, in my opinion, because like, look, if you just made the story up, and by the way, can we just have wives do that? Yeah, cops, the DA, attorneys, everyone showed up and did the whole thing. And then at the end it's like, well, I'm not going to press charge. I was just kidding. I was just trying to get some attention. Okay, fine. You're doing 14 months now. That's how it goes. Oh, wait a minute. You got something you want to say? That's how it should go. Somebody's going in. Either he beat the crap out of you, and he's going in, or you lied your ass off, and you're going in.

40:43 Caller What?

40:44 Adam What?

40:45 Drew I mean, it's crazy.

40:46 Jena Malone It's so sad because with domestic disputes, isn't it like three strikes and you're out and you're sort of kids go away after that and like, it's just the weight of the situation is so ridiculous.

40:57 Adam You can destroy somebody's life if you want.

40:59 Caller All right, we'll go to break.

41:02 Adam All right. I'm disgusted at all of yous, and we'll be back.

41:06 Caller Loveline. My hair.

41:10 Caller We'll be right back.

41:15 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191.

41:21 Drew We've got to finish educating Jena here a little bit.

41:23 Adam Ethan Zahn is coming in on Tuesday, by the way, from Survivor, my favorite show. Jena Malone here tonight from the United States of Leland. And quiet down, Drew. Open. Quiet. Opening on the 2nd of April, New York and LA. Alex, let's take some calls.

41:39 Drew Just quickly, Jena. Just look at an old building from the 20s and just see if it wasn't transformed in the 70s. And just look at what happened to it. And then that was that decade.

41:48 Jena Malone Okay.

41:49 Adam She doesn't know what you mean.

41:50 Jena Malone I missed out on quite a bit.

41:51 Adam She doesn't know what you're saying.

41:53 Drew I'll think of an example in the break.

41:55 Jena Malone Well, actually, no, I have a house that's built in 1973.

41:57 Drew The cottage cheese in the ceiling.

41:58 Jena Malone Oh, I have cottage cheese all over my walls, gold fixtures, porn den bathtubs.

42:05 Drew There you go. That was the 70s.

42:07 Adam Horrible time. Amanda?

42:10 Caller Yeah. I love you guys. And I love Jena Malone.

42:14 Caller She's my favorite actress, so I have a question for her.

42:18 Jena Malone Okay.

42:19 Caller I wanted to know how you got into acting.

42:23 Jena Malone The long story or the short? Medium. I don't know. I was nine years old and I was living in Las Vegas with my mom. And I answered an ad in a newspaper because I was combing the newspaper because I was really unhappy in Las Vegas because I had just moved from like Tahoe and it's a crazy cultural shock. And so I wanted to like take this like painting class and there was like seminar on acting. It was horrible.

42:52 Drew You were eight?

42:53 Jena Malone I was nine.

42:53 Drew Nine? Looking through the newspaper? Ten.

42:55 Adam Hold on. Moving from Tahoe to Las Vegas is like moving from a beautiful aquarium into an ash, right?

43:04 Jena Malone Yeah, totally. It was really gross and it totally like, yeah. And yeah, it was bad. But I went to this seminar and it ended up being complete fraud. But I asked a few questions. He got me my first audition, which was for a student film. No, actually it was for an audition in Los Angeles. And somehow I ended up booking that job, which was just like a student film through UCLA. And I convinced my mom after that to move to LA for about a year because she was sort of in a dead end job anyways. And I was like, well, the opportunities must be more in Los Angeles. Well, actually, no, it's actually a booming culture because of all the new people going there and the new businesses and a lot of things are built.

43:49 Adam You can work if you want to restock shrimp at the buffet or something. I mean, there's a lot of employment to have.

43:56 Jena Malone Yeah. Well, I thought, I mean, I didn't know anything.

43:58 Adam I like the idea that you picked up the paper. H9, pick up the newspaper.

44:04 Jena Malone But that's, that's how it.

44:05 Caller It's been my life dream to work with you.

44:08 You inspired me to act and stuff.

44:10 Jena Malone Oh, really?

44:11 Adam Yes. What are you doing? Are you acting in school? Yeah.

44:15 Caller Well, I just got, yeah.

44:18 Caller Cool.

44:18 Jena Malone That's like the main thing I would say to you is just, you know, keep doing school things, keep reading a lot and keep being just like, you keep watching a lot of film because that's, that's really where you learn the most, you know.

44:29 Caller Son of Darko.

44:30 Caller I love that movie. I actually got it.

44:34 I guess that makes me weird, but.

44:36 Adam That's all right. All right, Amanda.

44:39 Caller All right.

44:39 Adam Keep on keeping on, baby doll. Just calling from Commerce. Yeah. That's, I got the Poker Keno Pan Society, the Pan Poker Society.

44:49 Drew Good times.

44:51 Adam And Commerce must be by Gardena.

44:53 Drew Culture.

44:56 Adam I'm telling you, I used to watch those commercials. The one thing that Cable and Jena, you're so young, you don't remember all this stuff. But back when there was only two or three TV stations, we had lots of horrible local ads. We used to have to watch over and over again and the Pan Poker Society of Gardena welcomes you to Gardena. They would talk about all the different restaurants and how the dining was exquisite. I was like 10 years old sitting home watching on a black and white TV and it would say, the Horseshoe Italian Cuisine Exquisite. And then they'd go, the Eldorado, you're on the French Riviera. I always remember that. I would think at age 10, I remember thinking, Gardena, French Riviera. Now you know you're not on the French. There's a guy in a bad leisure shoot who's smoking a Tiparillo and got a cup of nickels. You ain't on the French Riviera. It always would scare you, you're on the French Riviera. Holy Christ, we are? Are we sure we're not in North Hollywood? You're over in Gardena? And by the way, Gardena, dump, asshole.

46:10 Drew Commerce?

46:11 Adam Dump. But Gardena, dump your, no, I built, I worked in a decorative box factory in Gardena for about two years. I built a factory over there.

46:23 Jena Malone You built the factory?

46:25 Adam I built, yeah, I was a construction worker and dump, dump, Gardena, dump. You're on the French Riviera, really? Until after the broads are working at the box factory with me. I'm not sure if they knew where they were.

46:40 Jena Malone Maybe it keeps them going during the days.

46:41 Adam French Riviera has a lunch truck that pulls up and there's the, I don't know that much about French culture. French Riviera, a lot of squaddy Guatemalan broads for the French Riviera. All right, we're going to take a little break. We'll be right back.

47:01 Caller So I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up? Why can't I meet anybody?

47:44 Adam Hey, everybody, it's you, Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Jena Malone is here tonight, the movie, The United States of Leland. Very well received, this movie. And Drew?

47:57 Drew Yep.

47:58 Adam That's right.

47:59 Drew Saw the trailer.

47:59 Caller Saw the trailer?

48:01 Adam And Drew can, you know, some people pick out produce by just thumping the melon, looking at the strawberries. Drew's that way with the trailers in the movie. And this trailer?

48:12 Drew Excellent.

48:13 Adam Winner.

48:13 Drew Very interesting.

48:14 Adam Absolutely. And like I said, I saw good reviews on it, but it has been, it's been, it's been making the rounds in the, oh, well, did it go to, did it go to Cannes or Cannes? Or what are we calling it today?

48:27 Jena Malone It didn't go to France. No, it didn't go to Cannes, Cannes, that festival over there. No, I mean, it's been around for a while. We went to Sundance last year and we've just sort of been looking for an appropriate time for its release. And I think, I think this weekend's gonna be a good one.

48:43 Adam Yeah. Yeah, gotta go up against Walking Tall. And most people probably don't even, most of the people that are going to see The Rock in Walking Tall have no idea there was an original Walking Tall. Yeah. Wouldn't you say the vast majority of those people?

49:00 Drew Yes, yes.

49:01 Adam Yes, yes. Let's go to the phones and speak to Susie, who's gonna fill us in on that story that we got from Germany or Florida. The 14-year-old called in about 45 minutes or an hour ago to tell us the Germany or Florida, and it turned out she was missing some pieces. Susie?

49:26 Caller Hello?

49:26 Adam What's up, baby doll?

49:28 Caller So I researched that story, and there's a lot more to it, obviously.

49:32 Adam Shocking. So what is it? So when we left off, a guy was charging $700 for an ant, and we kept saying, what's so special about the ants? And he, she said nothing.

49:44 Caller Yeah, they're actually imported from Southeast Asia. And to sell them in Germany is legal, but to import them is illegal. So there's an illegal import, but once they're in the country, it's apparently legal to sell them.

50:01 Drew What is so special about these ants? Why are they fetching such a price?

50:05 Caller Well, just cause they're an exotic species, and they're becoming fetishized by these children, but they range from being like three, four inches long to being barely visible.

50:18 Adam Well, I think the three, four-

50:20 Caller It's huge like fad now, but there's a reason why.

50:22 Jena Malone Four inch ant, I'd pay.

50:24 Drew By the way, four inch ant, that's already intriguing, right?

50:28 Caller What's that?

50:29 Adam Yeah, it's not four inches long. I hate to tell you. Whenever chicks tell me numbers, I always have to stop.

50:36 Drew With distances or size.

50:38 Adam Even if they tell you how old they are, you don't believe that either.

50:41 Drew So where did you get the four inches from?

50:42 Adam Think about women. Think about women in numbers. How old are you? Don't believe it? How much do you weigh? Don't believe it? How tall? Anything you can park that car into that space.

50:50 Jena Malone That's horrible. That's absolutely horrible.

50:52 Adam And listen, women aren't good with numbers. Guys aren't good with other things.

50:57 Jena Malone What other things?

50:57 Drew So four inches is about you, right?

51:00 Adam Many things. Now you're about three and three eights there. Now you're moving to the four.

51:04 Drew Wow. Look at that.

51:06 Adam Yeah, four is the body of this.

51:09 Jena Malone Well, if you think of it as your thumb, you know, as sort of the inch, sort of the marker.

51:14 Adam Is that the way you look at it?

51:16 Drew That's about right, yeah.

51:18 Jena Malone Coming from the woman side.

51:21 Adam Maybe it is somewhere around four inches. Susie? Yeah? Well, you're gonna pay 700 bucks for an ant. It better be, you know, at least two and a half inches, right?

51:28 Jena Malone It's gotta make interesting ant hills.

51:30 Drew How big are these ant farms? Can chickens roam around in them, too, or? No.

51:37 Adam Okay, thanks, Susie. All right, here's my thing, too. The phone may have cut out on it. Here's the thing. I hate ants, and I'm not a big ant fan.

51:47 Drew I'm with you.

51:48 Adam My feeling with the ant, too, is like, everyone's like, an ant can lift 400 times its own body weight. I'm like, I'm still gonna kill you with this sponge. You understand? Not so hot, are you? I'm still, you understand, I'm still killing you. You're going down the sink. I don't care if you lose a thousand times. And the intelligence still into the millions when he actually can throw me, like Adam Ant. Remember him? He grabbed people by the heel and flipped them.

52:13 Drew He needed his glasses.

52:14 Adam Oh, he did. It was a cartoon. Up in Adam, it was not Adam Ant, you know, A-D-A-M, it's A-T-O-M. Yeah, very strong cartoon ant, yeah.

52:24 Drew Yeah, I see that Michelle Williams is in this one. Didn't we work with her at the Dawson's Creek?

52:28 Adam We did, maybe we did.

52:30 Jena Malone Well, she's in Dawson's Creek, so it might have happened.

52:33 Adam How do you remember that, Drew?

52:35 Drew We worked with her for a week. She was on the radio show with us a couple of times.

52:40 Adam She was the dude, right? That was the dude? That was one of the dudes, one of the girls. Which girl was it?

52:45 Drew The blonde one.

52:47 Adam All right, the blonde one. I don't remember that.

52:50 Jena Malone She's wonderful in this film. She plays my sister, so.

52:54 Drew The depressed one. She's always depressed.

52:56 Adam Yeah, Don Cheadle is in this movie too, he's a great actor.

52:59 Jena Malone Yes, he is awesome.

53:00 Adam Always a good, always puts in a good performance.

53:03 Jena Malone Totally.

53:03 Adam Don Cheadle. All right, let's talk to Naomi, who's 17 on line five. Let's see what happened there. Naomi? No, I think we're not hearing anything.

53:19 Caller Hello?

53:20 Adam Hello.

53:25 Caller Good.

53:28 Drew Start to wake you up there, Naomi.

53:30 Adam Oh yeah, what's going on, baby doll?

53:33 Caller Well, I have a question on, well, basically, I've been going out with this girl for like three years. And, you know, it's been a secret because her mother is like a homophobe.

53:47 Drew How old is she?

53:49 Caller She's 16.

53:51 Drew Since she was 13, you've been seeing her? Yeah, she was 13. That seems kind of odd.

53:57 Adam And by the way, moms and dads who are homophobes, you want to know how to get your kid to go homo? Just be a homophobe. Then it becomes payback time for mommy and daddy. Absolutely. Yeah, well, that's how it works.

54:10 Drew Well, your mom's okay with it, right, Naomi?

54:11 Adam It's not a coincidence.

54:14 Caller But her mom, I mean, she was crazy when...

54:17 Adam You name your kid Naomi, you raise her in San Francisco. You got to be prepared for Lesbo. And I think embrace that, too. You could do worse. Drew, let me ask you a question for a second. Hold on a second. You're bi, that's okay. Here's what I'm saying. And Drew's gonna feel a little bit cornered here, but I can speak for Drew when I say you would rather your daughter be lesbian than be heterosexual and make the rounds.

54:44 Drew Yeah.

54:45 Adam You would, right?

54:45 Drew Of course.

54:47 Adam Yeah. And listen, I know it sounds-

54:51 Drew The crazy BS male impulse.

54:52 Adam Yeah, it sounds, and it sounds horrible. Like, oh, you shouldn't care. But let's face it, parents care. They don't want their kid to be gay. And it ranges. It ranges from I'll never talk to you again to, all right, I'm over it. But I don't think anybody looks at their toddler and wants them to be gay.

55:11 Jena Malone I think that's totally false. I don't know.

55:13 Adam Of course it's totally true. You're just saying that.

55:16 Drew I've met parents that want that.

55:17 Jena Malone Well, okay, first of all, I grew up with two lovers, two moms who were lovers.

55:23 Adam Oh my God, this is great.

55:24 Jena Malone And, you know, and so like.

55:26 Drew But they didn't raise you to be gay.

55:29 Jena Malone No, but they raise you with a certain matter of acceptance and just respect for a person's choice, you know?

55:36 Drew And when you said you were in Vegas.

55:37 Adam I didn't say anything about respect. I just said parents don't want their kids to be gay. It doesn't mean they're gonna do anything about it or even care if they are. Most parents, 99% of parents have the intention of having grandkids and that kind of stuff.

55:55 Drew But you said your mom was in a dead-end job in Las Vegas.

55:59 Jena Malone They had broken up at that point. They were together for 10 years.

56:02 Adam Wow. Where's your dad?

56:08 Jena Malone Yeah, he was like running from the law for a little bit. So Florida, is it Florida? He had a lot of child support. He actually was in Florida under an assumed name. No, absolutely.

56:23 I'm telling you he was in Florida.

56:24 Adam Yes, when you're looking for, listen, all authorities, law enforcement authorities that are listening, go to Florida. You want to find some deadbeat dads.

56:32 Drew Listen, Jenny, you're an actress. People are predictable, extremely predictable.

56:37 Jena Malone It's true.

56:37 Adam Right. All right, so dad, horrible guy. Mom goes lesbian.

56:42 Drew Why was she with a horrible guy? Her dad was horrible.

56:45 Adam No.

56:46 Drew Her dad must have been horrible.

56:47 Jena Malone My dad?

56:48 Drew Her dad.

56:48 Jena Malone Oh, well.

56:49 Adam Your mom's, your grandfather.

56:51 Jena Malone You know, my mom and my godmom both had sort of, you know, kind of traumatic experiences with.

56:58 Drew With horrible dads.

56:58 Caller Yeah, you had a horrible dad.

56:59 Jena Malone Sexually and emotionally.

57:01 Drew Horrible dad, that's what we're saying. And that's why she went for the horrible guy who split.

57:06 Jena Malone Well, I think she just wanted a child, actually. I was a product of a one-night stand.

57:11 Drew Women who are raised by horrible men are attracted to horrible guys.

57:15 Adam Yes, your grandfather must have been an a-hole.

57:20 Jena Malone He's a crazy fellow.

57:22 Drew Yeah, that's not being so nice for everybody.

57:24 Adam He's a bad guy.

57:26 Jena Malone He's, I don't know. I mean, I actually, I don't know too much about him to judge him.

57:29 Adam I know enough about him. Believe me, we know you're laughing. We know your dad went to Florida and we know your grandfather's a bad guy.

57:37 Drew No doubt.

57:38 Adam Or at least didn't do a great job with his daughter. This is how these things work. But you can't judge, not judging, I'm just saying.

57:50 Drew It's not a judgment. It's just factual.

57:52 Adam Well, this is how you get to the bottom of these things.

57:54 Drew It's just observational.

57:54 Adam Yeah. All right. So now, so now you grew up, essentially grew up. Well, from what, from age, what did the god mom, mom's partner essentially come into picture?

58:06 Jena Malone Before I was born, they were together.

58:08 Adam So I was all, and now this is, you're 19 now, right?

58:13 Jena Malone She was working at a temp agency.

58:17 Adam Doing what?

58:18 Jena Malone Mostly like secretarial work, secretary work.

58:22 Adam Funny the temp agency's all staff full timers. You know what I mean? They should be required to have temps work their temp agency. This is something sort of ironic about it.

58:31 Jena Malone I mean, it becomes, you think it's a foot in the door. I think like, you know, young women are like, oh, it's a temp job. You know, I can just go in and show them that I can really do a good job at it.

58:40 Adam She was a temp.

58:41 Drew Yeah, she was.

58:41 Adam She worked at a temp agency.

58:44 Jena Malone She was a temp agency, right?

58:47 Drew That's all she did in Vegas?

58:49 Jena Malone Yeah, she went to school there for a little bit.

58:51 Drew How'd she end up there from Tahoe?

58:53 Jena Malone That's where her family was from.

58:54 Adam Vegas? Oh, that's another bet.

58:56 Drew Strike three.

58:57 Adam Strike three. Strike three. Yeah. All right, so now, so raised with the lesbian couple, but did people know, did people make fun of you? Did they keep it secret?

59:09 Jena Malone You know, I think it's like in the 90s, it's a different story, sort of having two, you know, gay moms, it's like much more like acceptable.

59:19 Adam Oh yeah.

59:19 Jena Malone But when I was younger, like I don't even think I knew what it was, do you know what I mean?

59:24 Drew That's good.

59:25 Jena Malone Yeah, and it wasn't really an issue. I just knew that they loved each other and they were together and there was a purpose for that. And, but no, I mean, like it was awkward on Father's Day. It was like, who do I give this homemade card to? You know, you sort of have to sign.

59:39 Drew We believe that you're gonna see once they've studied this, that gay couples will probably do a better job than the average heterosexual parent childbearing. Would you say that's a safe statement?

59:52 Adam Gays are generally smarter and a little more together, although a lot of them, well, I'm just gonna speak freely here. Here's what you got. You got a situation. Heterosexual couples are a mess. They break up all the time. I think gay couples are a little bit better. You do have probably more past abuse issues in gay couples. So now you got two people that have had less than great upbringing sometimes, but oftentimes they get therapy, straighten themselves out and actually become better, more appropriate parents than the heterosexual couple that never really may have gotten a wholesale abuse, but never really looked into getting any better. So it's an interesting thing. And they recycle, as I've said many times, I enjoy the gaze for recycling. So AI in general, yeah.

1:00:48 Jena Malone I think it's a hard job for anyone. It's like a really huge shoes to fill for anyone is to be that person in a young person's life. I think, you know, it's-

1:01:00 Drew I would not want to do it with another male.

1:01:02 Adam No, I'd say two women would rather have two moms and two dads.

1:01:08 Drew I did the Mr. Mom thing this weekend. Susan was away for I say something. At the end of it, I thought, well, that's it. I can't do this.

1:01:15 Adam Yeah.

1:01:15 Drew I just can't do it. I need help. But you did it. Yeah, but that's it. That was my limit and I need a woman around.

1:01:21 Adam Yeah, and then you don't need your partner, Carl, coming in, you know, he's giving the kid camel poppers and Jaeger shots.

1:01:27 Drew I know Carl could do about, he could do about three days like me. And that's about it.

1:01:31 Adam That's right.

1:01:31 Drew You need the two ladies.

1:01:32 Jena Malone I just think it's awesome if two people who love each other can raise a child together regardless of sex. And sometimes if it's a man and a woman and they already have a lot of problems, they're gonna raise a child with a lot of problems. And if it's two men or two women who have a lot of problems, it's the same thing. I don't think it has anything to do with, you know, with their sex and whether they're gay or they're straight. I mean, I think that's completely ridiculous, but.

1:01:57 Drew Yeah, but.

1:01:57 Adam No, look, all things being equal, you want the dude and the chick, all things being equal. But we don't live in that, we don't live in a perfect society. And there's no, I'd much rather have two women raise my kid than a screwed up male and female, just to say there was a penis and a vagina there. That's for damn sure. Look, I have to.

1:02:16 Drew Everyone wants to say that, of course.

1:02:17 Adam No further than my own parents that realize eff-ups when I see them. Naomi? Well, you really spawned a conversation.

1:02:25 Drew Really, what happened, are we on the air?

1:02:28 Jena Malone Four inch ants, man.

1:02:30 Adam No, this is the next one. But Jena dropped the two mom bomb and we had to go down that path. We had to see it until it hit the canyon floor.

1:02:39 Jena Malone You saw it through.

1:02:40 Adam Yes.

1:02:41 Drew So Naomi, so your girlfriend's mom hates gay. And so what do you want to do? Or what's your question for us?

1:02:46 Caller I don't know whether or not I should just go on or just stay with it.

1:02:53 Caller You mean leave her?

1:02:54 Caller Yeah.

1:02:57 Drew How miserable is this?

1:02:59 Caller I mean, it's kind of miserable because I can't see her and I can only talk to her like once every six months or whatever like that.

1:03:07 Adam Oh no, that's not a relationship.

1:03:09 Drew That's not a relationship.

1:03:10 Adam You guys don't go to the same school?

1:03:12 Caller No.

1:03:14 Drew How dare you?

1:03:14 Adam That's a ridiculous question.

1:03:15 Caller I think the only time we actually get to be together is if we have like mutual friends that we like plan these secret meetings together.

1:03:24 Adam Why, why, hold on a second. You live in San Francisco?

1:03:27 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:03:28 Adam Where does she live?

1:03:29 Drew Not San Francisco.

1:03:35 Adam Well, wait a second. Now, why, you guys both live in San Francisco, but you don't go to the same school as when you, are you homeschooled or out of school? Or what happened?

1:03:46 Caller She goes to a private Catholic school, and I'm in the public school.

1:03:51 Adam And how far away does she live from you?

1:03:55 Caller Pretty far away, actually, like two, three miles, maybe.

1:04:00 Adam Hold on a second. I see if the world's dumbest callers. What do you think, she lives in your basement? Two, three miles, well, that's interminable. I guess if you could charter.

1:04:11 Drew A jet?

1:04:15 Adam Once they used it in Alaska. Yeah, you'd probably drop that down in the bay. You'd never actually have to get it in the air. You actually just scoot it along the bay for several hundred yards and you'd be in her house. Two, three miles, well.

1:04:27 Drew That's at least, Adam, it's at least a 15 minute walk. At least, at least.

1:04:33 Adam If you got roller blades, you got a relationship at the two, three mile.

1:04:37 Drew They got those hills in San Francisco, you know.

1:04:40 Adam And Naomi, do you have a car? Can you walk? You take the bus. Here's my question, I guess. You're not going to be going over to her house for, uh-oh, uh-oh, Drew's thinking.

1:04:58 Drew No, no, I'm just saying, by the way, my question was not.

1:05:00 Adam She ain't into it.

1:05:00 Drew Well, my question was not, is she going to walk? Is she have legs? Could she capable of walking?

1:05:07 Adam Well, Naomi's going to say that she can't go over to her house and that her mom picks her up right after school and keeps a very tight wrap on her and that, and she won't let her out of her sight. I'm guessing, Naomi. So why is it now she is 16 or 17? She's in the 10th grade?

1:05:29 Caller No, she's in the 11th grade.

1:05:30 Adam She's in 11th grade. Does she have a car?

1:05:34 Caller No, she doesn't have a car.

1:05:37 Adam And neither.

1:05:38 Jena Malone This is San Francisco, come on. I mean, it's a city. It's public transportation.

1:05:41 Adam Can she come to your house or can you guys meet somewhere after school?

1:05:44 Caller Uh-huh, we can.

1:05:46 Drew Oh, okay.

1:05:48 Adam Wow, that settles everything.

1:05:49 Drew Why don't you? Why don't you do that?

1:05:53 Caller Well, I don't know.

1:05:57 Adam Now I'm on to something else.

1:05:58 Drew Your friend's not into it.

1:05:59 Adam She ain't into it.

1:05:59 Drew Yeah, your friend's not done. Well, either mom has sufficiently indoctrinated her or pulled her back or it was enacting out that she's not, maybe she's not even gay. Who knows? But whatever it is, she's out. She's out.

1:06:12 Adam Yeah, because when you're-

1:06:13 Drew If she was in love, she would be, she'd be fine.

1:06:15 Adam When you're in the 11th grade and you're in love, you will find a way. You just, I don't think you sneak out your room at night. I don't care how, I don't care if your parents are the Gestapo, you get out, you make it happen.

1:06:27 Drew That's why kids are sent away when they keep doing these things. Because they keep doing it.

1:06:31 Adam She's not into you anymore. No, no, it's over.

1:06:36 Jena Malone But maybe, you know, maybe you guys need some time to sort of like, I mean, if you've been in this relationship for like three years, then I think it's a really, really good thing that you guys have a little separation. You're, oh, you know, it's the end of high school. You're gonna be out going out into the world.

1:06:47 Adam She needs the truth. She ain't into you, Naomi. Well, you know that, don't you, on some level?

1:06:55 Caller Well, I don't know.

1:06:56 Adam Well, when's the last time you guys were together? You spoke a week ago? And when's the last time you were physically together?

1:07:09 Caller About three weeks ago.

1:07:11 Adam Oh, that's a lifetime, by the way, when you're in the 11th grade. It's over, baby doll.

1:07:17 Drew Don't you think?

1:07:18 Caller All right.

1:07:18 Adam Well, why isn't she, she's not making effort to see you, is she?

1:07:22 Caller Well, she's trying to, but her mom just got her an electron or something, you know?

1:07:28 Drew No, not or something. Cause she would be telling you every little detail of what the something was.

1:07:33 Adam She got a cell phone, doesn't she?

1:07:34 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:07:36 Drew She should be calling you five times a day.

1:07:38 Adam Why is she calling you on your phone?

1:07:39 Drew Yeah.

1:07:40 Caller Well, she does, but you know, I just can't call her.

1:07:44 Adam You haven't talked to her for a week.

1:07:46 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:07:47 Adam Okay, all right. So Naomi is a little bit thick, so here's the thing, please. Haven't seen her in three weeks, and by the way, that three weeks could easily be four or five weeks. She lives a couple of miles away, they're not seeing each other, they can't talk. It's over. She ain't into you. It's fine. It happens. It happens all the time. You just, you got to know it. And people are not going to send over a declaration that they're breaking up with you. They'll take the path of least resistance. I mean, it's much easier. We've all been on the winning end and the losing end of this to not sit down with the person, look them in the eye and explain to them why you can't see them again.

1:08:31 Jena Malone Particularly not in 11th grade.

1:08:33 Adam And if you ain't going to the same school, it's real easy. All you got to do is not return a couple of phone calls and then say, mom said, and that's about it.

1:08:41 Jena Malone But I would just hope because if they had, you know, they've been together since they were 13, it obviously started in some sort of friendship, you know. And that, you know, it's really easy to be attracted to your friends and it's sort of maybe progressed to something else and, you know, one was more into it than the other. And I just hope that they can retain at least a friendship, you know.

1:08:58 Adam No, not going to happen.

1:08:59 Jena Malone Well.

1:09:00 Drew Well, but women can do that though. You're thinking like a man.

1:09:03 Adam I'm just saying if Naomi and her try to be friends at this point, Naomi's going to say anything.

1:09:08 Jena Malone Not at this point, but you need some time.

1:09:10 Adam Down the road. Although you'll probably find like we all and Jena, you will soon to do that a lot of people you hung out with in high school with is mainly because they sat next to you or you find not quite as much in common with these folks as you thought. My mom brought over. My mom hangs on to everybody I knew when I was eight and, you know, it's always like, hey, so-and-so's back in town. They got it. And I'm like, I saw them. I was in the third grade and seen them. They're great. They want to see you. We're coming over. You know, it's always like I never have the heart to say anything. And there's nothing wrong with the people. It's just I haven't seen them in 30 years. It's always but it's like there's this thing that well, because you knew them. Here's why you're friends with people. You first off, it's a it's a cosmic crapshoot that they that your neighbor ends up being your best friend. Coincidentally, oh, my best friend. I never know. That's the closest person to you. Your best friends in your high school, your best friend. You marry the you know, your sweetheart from high school. I'm sorry to say, but it's all about proximity. Doesn't mean they can't be good people. But later on in life, when you get some wheels and you get out on your own and you do a little traveling, then you really find your friends because it's not about proximity anymore.

1:10:33 Jena Malone I have one friend that I've retained from high school and I went to high school in New York and I only went to one year of high school. Then I moved to LA and I'm in Tahoe and and so but we still maintain our friendship and we're actually still quite good friends.

1:10:45 Adam You will.

1:10:45 Jena Malone If anything, it's strength and strengthens it if you are going to retain the friendship.

1:10:49 Adam Ten percent of those people are your actual will make it into adulthood. One out of ten of those guys is going nine out of ten are they're going the way the dodo drew the way of the dodo, which is gone the way the dodo that coincidentally the saying the way of the dodo is gone the way the dodo. All right, Jena Malone here tonight. Do you agree, engineer Chris? You never knew about the way the dodo, did you? I will show you the way it doesn't know what a dodo is. There's no greater argument for the way the dodo gone the way the dodo. Chris, you know what a dodo is?

1:11:27 Drew Get that mic on.

1:11:28 Adam No, it's an extinct bird. No, I don't.

1:11:31 Drew Flightless bird as I recall.

1:11:32 Adam It's an extinct flightless bird. Yes.

1:11:34 Drew Reference in the, I believe in the Master and Commander.

1:11:38 Adam Possibly. Yes, it was.

1:11:39 Drew Maybe I'll use it sometime.

1:11:40 Adam We'll be right back. Chris was too busy beating off to the Matrix 3 to watch Master and Commander. We got to take a break. We'll be right back. Hey there, buddy, Loveline. I'm Adam. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Jena Malone in here tonight. She has got herself a little movie out, or it's gonna be out in a couple of days, called The United States of Leland, and it's heavy, but it's got a great cast in it, and Cheetal, Ryan Gosling, and Chris Klein is somewhat underrated, I think, because he does some, he's done a handful of these teen movies and stuff, but he's really good, like-

1:12:39 Jena Malone An election, he's really, really wonderful.

1:12:42 Adam Yeah, he was great in election. Election, thank you Anderson. Election was a great movie. I don't know why. It was just really good. I don't know if Drew's seen it or not.

1:12:55 Drew It's just really good, thank you.

1:12:57 Adam Just good, and if you try to tell people why it was good, or even explain it, it doesn't sound like much, and you kinda go, eh, sounds boring, or slice of life, no thanks. But great performances, slice of life, very compelling. As soon as it starts, you're drawn in.

1:13:13 Jena Malone Totally, I mean, it's like set in a high school, and it's actually, there's a lot of truth in it. It's quite humorous, like life is. So I just love to see when young people are actually kind of portrayed accurately, because usually they just fill you with a bunch of BS, and I'm like, I don't even know these people, and they're supposed to be portraying my age, and my circumstances that I've gone through.

1:13:34 Adam Well, it was nice in election that Chris Klein, who was this sort of the jock, was nice. And as a former jock who hung around with the football a-holes most of the time, we never picked on anybody, picked on each other. Wasn't like we'd go out on geek patrol or something. They didn't even, here's the whole thing about the cool football guys, they didn't even talk to the nerdy people. Not because they were snobs, like they didn't know them. They were trying to get laid and trying to get drunk.

1:14:04 Drew Well, now that you've got to realize that the football guys are just as self-conscious and uncomfortable as the nerds, just a different form.

1:14:12 Adam Yeah, maybe. Yeah, most of them, they just didn't bother, it wasn't like you hated smart people because they were smaller and smarter. It wasn't, I've never seen a movie, a high school movie that had jocks that weren't cruel to the underlings. And I liked the idea that Chris Klein was a jock who didn't do it. What?

1:14:31 Drew Your buddy Ray. Must have been cruel.

1:14:34 Adam To everybody. No, no.

1:14:35 Drew Everybody. Ray, if he needed something, he'd go take it.

1:14:41 Adam He was a Robin Hood of abuse. If someone was weak, he would leave Malone. If someone thought they were strong, that would rile him and he would go after them. And then me. Stephanie? You're 17?

1:15:00 Caller You were in Life of the House, right?

1:15:02 Jena Malone I was, yeah.

1:15:03 Caller Oh, that's like one of my favorite movies, by the way. And I just want to know, first of all, how is it working with Hayden Christensen? He's like, I think he's one of the best looking guys.

1:15:12 Adam He's dreamy.

1:15:13 Caller Like ever. And I just want to know what it was like working with him and like kissing him and stuff.

1:15:17 Adam He's gonna be named Hayden Christensen in Be Ugly, by the way.

1:15:20 Jena Malone It is, it's a solid name.

1:15:22 Adam It's a very hot dude name.

1:15:23 Jena Malone Totally.

1:15:24 Adam Hayden Christensen.

1:15:28 Jena Malone It was, it was really, I mean, he's a really down-to-earth, really like awesome guy. You know, he was sort of coming in, surrounding this, all this Star Wars clout around him. And I had really just, it didn't affect him at all, you know, but he was really hard working. You know, we had, the majority of the scenes that I had was with him. And I just remember it was like kind of a joy coming to set cause he was like overly on top of it and just, you know, giving 120%. And yeah, and it was, it was fun. We had a shower scene together. It was, it was strange. You're in a sound studio that's got this false bathroom that's got, you know, a movable third wall. And you're there with like, you know, basically these nude colored underwear and stickers on your nipples and you're standing in front of, you know, like a room of, you know, 20 big guys moving equipment and you're trying to have a very intimate scene and it's just awkward. Hot water? It was, it was hot in the beginning. And then they ran out of hot water and it was cold for the rest of the time. And yeah, it was not so good.

1:16:31 Adam The pasty, the pasty thing is a strange sort of ritual of this culture. I know it's a, maybe a necessary evil, but it is really strange. I've actually done things that involved pasties myself, not being on the winning end of the pasties, but essentially take band-aids and stick them over the woman's nipples. Those large square band-aids.

1:16:53 Jena Malone I mean, I guess it's, for me, it was more of like a comfort issue, you know, like I had to have my back bare and I didn't want to have like duct tape on my chest. So I just like put these things on, but it's really like when you're at that point, it really doesn't matter whether you see your nipples or not.

1:17:08 Adam Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I mean, I would go for the pasty myself.

1:17:13 Jena Malone But if you're like a 17 year old girl, I understand it, but like, I don't know.

1:17:17 Adam No, I mean, look, I would go for it too, but I'm just saying, it's a strange ritual that we see fit. You're already naked.

1:17:25 Drew It's an arbitrary ritual. It seems like an arbitrary thing.

1:17:28 Adam But yes. The nipples. What the hell are we talking about? Oh, Stephanie.

1:17:34 Caller Well, I have a little problem.

1:17:36 Adam Yes.

1:17:37 Caller Like I'm 17 and I already have like D size, like cup, broad breast. And they're really big. And like, like I'm pretty normal weight, like pretty. I mean, I'd say I'm pretty thin, I guess. And like, it's kind of just out of proportion. And I'm like really, really self-conscious about like the way I look. Cause I feel like it brings like too much tension.

1:18:03 Adam How tall? What is your dimensions by the way?

1:18:05 Caller Well, like I'm five, two. And I wear about like pant size, like five or seven.

1:18:15 Adam I don't know what that is. What size cool lots do you wear? How much do you weigh?

1:18:20 Caller Oh, I weigh like 125.

1:18:22 Jena Malone Sounds perfectly normal. I mean, the strange thing about breasts is that for young girls, they're always an issue. Like I've grown up with absolutely none and I've always felt awkward and strange. And I know girls that have a huge breasts and they feel awkward and strange. So it's like this thing where you can never find the middle ground because it's kind of forced upon by others opinions of your body. So I don't know, I just think like you just kind of have to, I don't know, accept it, like find the bras that you feel comfortable in, like find the clothes you feel comfortable in and just rock it, you know? Because like in 10 years, you're going to be totally stoked.

1:18:56 Adam Yeah.

1:18:59 Drew She doesn't believe you.

1:19:00 Adam Well, look, hold on a second. I'm glad you bring this point up because this is another one of those things. Women with very small breasts complain and women with large breasts complain.

1:19:10 Drew And all the way between. It's very rare to have some women that are satisfied with their breasts.

1:19:16 Adam Right, I'm just saying, you know, you're trying to explain this to an alien. Well, the people, it's like saying, well, guys with huge penises complain and guys with small penises complain. No, no, no. Here's how it works with guys. Guys with small penis complain. Guys with medium penis complain marginally less. The guys with the huge penis do no complain.

1:19:34 Caller Their penis is out.

1:19:35 Adam It's actually out. It's out. Their eulogies, it's out. You understand? It's out in christenings, in apartments, funerals. It's brought out. It's brought out, excuse me, it's brought out. This is why women, you can't figure them out. Guys, you can figure out small penis complain, big penis, shut your hole. And if his mouth is moving about his penis, he's bragging about the size of it. Women can feel self-conscious about anything and I keep trying to explain this to every woman who calls and says, oh, I'm too big or the woman who calls and says, I'm too small. I want to get them enlarged. Guys, guys don't even, women obsess more about it than guys do. Now, now here, let me say this. And I like a big set of cans. That's me. That's who I am. I believe it makes me, I'm more heterosexual than Drew though. Ironically, Drew, very passionate, passionate man, exquisite. You're looking at, look at Drew. You're looking at a passionate man. Exquisitely. He's heaping with passion. Heaping.

1:20:40 Jena Malone It's oozing.

1:20:41 Adam Ooze, oozes. Oh, yes. Runs right down his leg. All right. His sock absorbs his passion. Okay. Now here's what-

1:20:48 Drew That being said.

1:20:49 Adam Can actually look at your sock. See if it was laden with passion. You can wring the passion out of that sock. And he dresses to the left.

1:20:56 Drew So if he does not suck with your hamper.

1:20:58 Adam All right. Here's all, here's all I'm saying. Women say that it is it is men that have foisted this breast obsession upon upon them. It's not guys at all. Because the thing is, is I know tons of heterosexual guys. They can't agree on what size boobs they like.

1:21:18 Jena Malone They don't like boobs in general.

1:21:20 Adam They like boobs in general. They don't like the huge ones. I'm the only guy like that. And by the way, you know, because when you're the only guy in the room who's going, hey, I'm into this, you know that everyone else isn't into it. Guys don't. Don't. Drew doesn't like the big boobs. Bouncy. Not as a passionate man focuses on the vagina. Not a boo man. Is that that passion? Point is, is it is not guys who says we need the huge jumbo can, you know, implants and the big D cups and all the triple D's and all that guys.

1:21:49 Jena Malone Look at all the supermodels, all the guys that I was going to say, like what magazines do you read? Like, do you read a lot of fashion?

1:21:57 Adam She hung up. But yeah, look, look, look. Well, she has the big ones. But what I'm saying is, is all the guys that are on everyone's sort of hot list, whatever, whoever the, I don't know, Christina Aguilera, whoever, whoever it is, whoever the models are, whoever the pop sensations are, usually modestly, chest or intermediate.

1:22:17 Drew And what women complain about when they have large breasts is that the guys' eyes stay on them.

1:22:22 Adam Yes.

1:22:22 Drew And that's something they, they can't help. It's not like they're willfully trying to look down, not look at your eyes. They just, their, their eyes are sort of drawn down.

1:22:29 Adam Yes.

1:22:30 Drew And then, and then the other thing, but it's the more significant thing that, which they complain about more is that other women shunned them, that they're shunned by women who somehow are threatened by them or, you know, make, belittle them and make them feel like, yeah, that's, that's mostly other women that really make things uncomfortable.

1:22:46 Adam Here's the bottom line. And I've explained this and again, no one, no one, no one believes me, but guys, especially in high school and beyond are, are visually oriented. And there's a lot of guys that like a beautiful set of eyes and a beautiful face and a beautiful ass and somehow those guys are noble and the guys who like a nice set of boobs, well, something's wrong with them. Well, look, neither one of them has anything to do with the person's personality or what's inside or their aura, their spirit, nothing. Guys are based. Now, if you see a very classically beautiful woman who's slender and, and, and small chested and a guy's interested in her, well, he's only interested in her because she has beautiful eyes and a cleft in her chin, you know? I mean, it's all a physical attraction.

1:23:30 Drew And we've got some functional MRI studies came out last week that showed that men, not women, men's amygdala's light up, which is a monitoring unit for novelty. The amygdala lights up and throws information back to the hypothalamus causing hunger, sexual hunger drive. Women do not, they get arousal, but not the drive that men get from visual cues.

1:23:51 Adam All right, all I'm saying is, is girls, please, small chested, large chested, just get over yourself and move forward. Guys will be, a certain section of guys will be interested in you, a certain won't, a certain will notice your chest, a certain won't care.

1:24:07 Jena Malone Yeah, your body is perfect for what you have and like what you are and that's awesome. And if you are comfortable with your body, that's even more sexier and awesome, you know?

1:24:15 Adam That's right. We don't care about that, but yes, it sells magazines, guys don't care. We'd like women who had low self-esteem actually in hot bodies rather than women that had bad bodies and felt good about that. Yes, Drew? Easier pickings.

1:24:29 Drew It's true.

1:24:30 Adam That's the truth.

1:24:30 Drew That's the truth.

1:24:31 Adam We don't care about how you feel about yourself. And by the way, we don't care if you feel sexy. We'll decide whether you're hot or not. I'll just be as for they go, hey, if you feel it's always these stupid supermodels are talking to these fat chicks in the audience. If you feel sexy, then you're sexy. Well, maybe once you just feel like you're the president or the ambassador or seven foot tall guys will tell you what they're sexy.

1:24:52 Jena Malone Yeah, but once all the clothes and the makeup come off and they're not and they're still not comfortable in their own skin in their own skins, then what's then what's what's sort of sexy or appealing about that when they're sort of awkward and well, they're hot.

1:25:03 Adam They're hot.

1:25:04 Jena Malone I see.

1:25:04 Adam This is this is how guys work. Now. Now you hang out with some BS. You know, actor artists, guys who don't admit to this, but this is the truth. This is the God's honest. It's all about physicality. It's like, hey, it's great if you got a healthy self esteem. We don't want some chick burner self a cigarette butts because she feels bad about herself. But really, this whole supermodel thing where super smoking chicks tell doggy chicks that you can you can be sexy to just feel sexy. Ridiculous. No, it's not going to work.

1:25:33 Jena Malone Yeah, but they're talking about feeling sexy for themselves. And you're talking about being sexy for you for the exterior male. And I think it needs to start from themselves before they can even approach you.

1:25:43 Adam So now that who cares what they think about themselves, though, I mean, they don't. It's not going to help. They want to they want to attract men. That's why they want to be sexy. I know there's that they do it for themselves, but they only do it for themselves so that they can get guys. No one cares about how you feel about you. You don't need to feel sexy for yourself. Like I'll beat off anyway. I don't care what I look like. I know I'm a mess. Still going at myself that that much harder, by the way. You know what I'm saying? The aggressive, aggressive street style. Oh, yes. The angry, the angry, the vengeful whack. Yeah, I'm a mess. No problem. All right. Let's take a break. Drew is a passionate man. He can't understand my passion for myself.

1:26:28 Drew Well, you're a mess.

1:26:29 Adam I'm a mess. Jena Malone here. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Loveline. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, Jena Malone here tonight. The United States of Leland, named her movie, coming out in New York and Los Angeles, April 2nd. That's right. Drew was telling me off the air that somebody called him at home and blah, blah, and the cha-cha. And he was pout about it. And I received a call from one of my friends, family man, a couple of kids. Yeah, got the timestamp on the phone message machine Sunday morning. I called at 823. And here's the guy like, well, first off, see, once people have kids, they just start getting up at 7 in the morning on a Sunday. And then it's like, well, I've been up for an hour and 15 minutes, time to get on the blower. I call my single Hollywood friend, Adam, over here with the no kids on a Sunday, by the way. Sunday, 823. And then I like to be wilded. Well, I thought I was going to catch you before you headed out, but I guess you're not around. So I'll try to catch you. Yeah, that's what I do on Sunday.

1:27:58 Drew What?

1:27:59 Adam I got a goddamn paper route. Really? It's 823. It's Sunday.

1:28:05 Drew Really?

1:28:05 Adam I get up at 930 on Wednesday, Sunday. I might go till noon. Please. That's amazing. I find that amazing. I'm not angry. I don't pick up the phone. It doesn't ring. I just like the part where I guess you're asleep, you're not picking up. It's like, I guess you hit it.

1:28:24 Jena Malone People just live in their own worlds.

1:28:27 Drew Let's recoup our Germany or Florida.

1:28:29 Adam All right. My dad who goes to bed at seven o'clock at night, it's like, I want to get together for dinner. What time? 4.30, 4.45. It's still light. Yeah, that's when I eat dinner. Well, you go to bed at eight o'clock at night, you got to eat dinner at four.

1:28:46 Drew It's still light at eight o'clock, some parts of the year.

1:28:49 Adam Jay? All right. We are going to recoup our, and by the way, our Germany or Florida goes down as a victory for us. We did get Germany.

1:28:58 Drew You got it. And on the heels of that, we predicted that Jenna's dad was living in Florida.

1:29:05 Jena Malone Yeah, that was, well, he's not living in Florida anymore.

1:29:07 Drew No, he went there as a deadbeat dad.

1:29:09 Adam Through Florida.

1:29:10 Drew As a deadbeat dad.

1:29:10 Jena Malone He hid in Florida.

1:29:11 Drew Yes.

1:29:11 Adam Yes.

1:29:12 Drew They all go there.

1:29:12 Adam That's where the deadbeat dads go.

1:29:14 Drew Particularly the ones from the Midwest. All the Midwest deadbeat dads, Florida.

1:29:17 Jena Malone That's wonderful.

1:29:18 Drew And they drive cars, strange that they're car drivers then.

1:29:21 Adam They drive, they work on fishing buses.

1:29:22 Jena Malone He sold cars.

1:29:24 Drew Cars, perfect.

1:29:26 Adam Perfect. It's a great job for sociopath. Go ahead, Jay.

1:29:30 Caller All right. This is a Germany or Florida that you especially are going to appreciate, Adam.

1:29:35 Adam Well, let's hear the theme song first, Anderson. Come on.

1:29:39 Caller Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis. Sex, meth and death fetishes. Both of them have got these. Guaranteed not the Borya, Germany or Florida. All right. I'm gonna get my radio station to cut a song for you guys and I'll send it out with some smoked almonds.

1:30:00 Drew Whatever.

1:30:00 Caller Thank you. Yeah.

1:30:02 Caller All right.

1:30:02 Drew You'll be a hit.

1:30:04 Caller You're gonna really appreciate this one, Adam, cause you've made a similar argument. Violinists in an orchestra are suing the rest of the orchestra because they play more notes than anyone else for a given song, but they get paid the same per hour.

1:30:17 Adam Right. This is my argument for this show. I should get paid more than per hour. I understand that.

1:30:23 Drew Notes.

1:30:23 Adam Right.

1:30:24 Drew Exactly the same situation.

1:30:25 Adam Well, you think about it. It gets paid the same as the guy who plays the kettle drum?

1:30:29 Drew Yeah.

1:30:29 Jena Malone Or the triangle?

1:30:30 Adam Or the triangle?

1:30:31 Drew Same thing.

1:30:31 Adam Or the glockenspiel?

1:30:35 Drew So is it Germany or Florida?

1:30:36 Adam Yeah.

1:30:37 Caller All right.

1:30:38 Adam I'm going to withdraw because I know the answer to this.

1:30:40 Drew Really?

1:30:40 Adam Yes.

1:30:42 Drew I think you should get credit when you heard the story.

1:30:45 Caller Yeah.

1:30:45 Adam All right.

1:30:46 Drew Go ahead.

1:30:47 Jena Malone What's your guess first?

1:30:48 Adam Oh, please. You can't do it that way. Go ahead.

1:30:50 Drew Florida.

1:30:51 Jena Malone Florida.

1:30:52 Adam All right. I thought it was Germany.

1:30:55 Drew Yeah.

1:30:56 Adam It doesn't sound like Florida, does it?

1:30:57 Drew It's suing, suing. Suing, suing, sounds like it.

1:30:59 Adam It's suing, but in the orchestra, they don't have to know what a violin is.

1:31:02 Drew Yeah, but if they did, they'd be, they'd be dads, they'd be complaining.

1:31:05 Adam So, you know, it's gotta be Germany.

1:31:08 Caller Yeah?

1:31:09 Adam What is it?

1:31:10 Caller All right, Adam, it's Germany.

1:31:12 Caller Oh. Yeah.

1:31:13 Caller Yeah, but not too many.

1:31:14 Adam The symphony, I can't believe you're going to Florida.

1:31:16 Caller There's a lot of orchestras in Florida there, yeah.

1:31:19 Drew Yeah. I bet you there are more than you guys know.

1:31:22 Adam Yeah, yeah. But they play like, yeah, they play like the wash tub and stuff like that.

1:31:26 Drew I bet, listen, Miami, Orlando, Jacksonville, I'm sure they have orchestras.

1:31:30 Adam They're tough thumpers. Hey, Jay. Yo. Thanks, we're going to send you out a windbreaker.

1:31:36 Caller Hey, cool, I'll put it on right now.

1:31:39 Adam All right, yes. We're going to send you an imaginary windbreaker.

1:31:42 Drew Did you know that was the answer or not?

1:31:45 Adam I think I did, yeah.

1:31:46 Drew All right, let's see. Because normally I just go with you.

1:31:49 Adam I know.

1:31:49 Drew And if you're not going to give an answer, I'm going to give a wrong problem.

1:31:51 Adam Well, no, but you know, it was funny and no disrespect to Jenna, but she's a rookie to the Germany or Florida game and it's still batting 500, got to win. Got one win on her belt, 50-50. But here's my point. I don't know, I hear symphony, I just think, I think Germany. But then the suing part.

1:32:08 Jena Malone Yeah, but I would think in Germany, it's more like considered like, sort of like this classical art form that people can't really mess with. So they wouldn't be like allowed to be like, oh, well I should get more. There's not as, you know, like it's-

1:32:19 Drew There's all different kinds of forms of symphonies. All symphonies, operas and operas and operas and-

1:32:25 Adam You break it down any way you want. You were wrong. Dead wrong.

1:32:27 Drew Dead wrong.

1:32:28 Adam Just wrong.

1:32:28 Drew Absolutely. Dead beat wrong.

1:32:29 Adam We need to take a break.

1:32:31 Drew Yes. That's it. We're done.

1:32:33 Adam No, we're not. No, we're coming back. You idiot. After this.

1:32:39 Caller So I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up? Why can't I meet anybody? 877-889-DATE.

1:32:58 Adam 1-800-LOVE-191. There you have it. A very fascinating show with Jena Malone. You can see the movie, The United States of Leland, which is coming out in just a couple of days on April 2nd, New York and Los Angeles. And then Friday. Is that just coming? Really, it's Friday? What the hell are we? We're in the 28th. It's Friday. How many days we got? 31 in this thing? Oh, really?

1:33:32 Drew Thursday's the first, Friday's the second.

1:33:34 Adam Nice.

1:33:35 Caller Yeah.

1:33:36 Adam All right, so go see that movie, and Jena, always a delight. Come back any time.

1:33:42 Caller Our pleasure.

1:33:42 Adam And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew's Sayin. Mahalo.

1:33:50 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, March 28, 2004