Episode 1000603242757

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:04 Voiceover I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Bert McCracken here from The Use, John Feldman here from Goldfinger, and many other ventures. Joel from Good Charlotte is gonna come in here in just a, well, I don't know. We'll do the rotate thing. Good to see you guys again.

1:24 Good to see you too. Yes.

1:28 Adam It's been a while. So, let's see. They're promoting a benefit to raise money for a organization called SHAC. That's Stop Huntington Animal Cruelty Organization. Maybe just SHACO would be good. SHACO. What's the prom? What's going on?

1:50 Guest Huntington Life Sciences is a huge corporation that tests toothpaste, cosmetics on puppies and on monkeys.

2:01 Drew They do it in England?

2:03 Guest There's a lab in England and there's a lab in New Jersey.

2:05 Drew England has one of the most restrictive animal research in the world.

2:08 Guest Yes, and they have the biggest protests outside this place.

2:12 Drew But I mean, I can't imagine it's horrible since they restrict what you can do in England so much.

2:17 Guest The last footage I saw from the New Jersey one, it's like these dudes punching four-month-old puppies to try and like ingest toothpaste, toothpaste. It's not medicine, it's just toothpaste and then like coffee sweetener, like Splenda, you know?

2:31 Adam Drew, please. Now, what? Why are they punching the puppy?

2:35 Guest Because the puppies don't really want to be injected with these, you know, ounces and ounces of, you know, they're trying to force it down their throats and stick needles in them and all that stuff.

2:43 Adam It breaks my heart. And I've told Drew many, many times, many times, this is why we have homeless.

2:49 Drew Okay? Should we be doing this to the homeless?

2:51 Absolutely.

2:52 Adam There's no way that the, see, here's what I was saying. The homeless are there because, you know, they're junkies or they're evil or they have evil parents or something like this. Whereas the animals, they have no choice. Yes. The homeless put themselves there.

3:07 Drew I see Mr. Hitler.

3:09 Adam And whereas the puppies, I'm agreeing with the band here, whereas the puppies, you know, it's just happenstance. Actually, yes. Now, what do we do about this, though? How do we test this stuff?

3:19 Guest Well, most people like dogs, you know, and the bottom line is that, like, you know, you can buy so many, there's so many options of toothpaste that aren't tested on animals already. You know, and it's just like an insurance scam. So when people like sue, when they get sick, they can say, oh, well, we tested on this animal, even if they get cancer anyway, because, you know, how do you even like say, okay, this dog, like the whole thing, when they tested cigarettes on dogs and they killed, you know, how many millions of dogs saying, you know, lung cancer doesn't come from cigarettes, but dogs can't get lung cancer.

3:48 Adam They can't?

3:49 Guest No.

3:49 Adam Do they have gills or something? But what do dogs have, Drew?

3:53 Lungs.

3:54 Adam I've got my dog stone before. I bet if I did it enough, he could get lung cancer.

3:59 That's not very nice.

4:01 Adam I don't even have a dog.

4:03 Guest Where are you going?

4:05 Adam All I'm saying is why can't dogs get lung cancer?

4:08 Drew I don't know.

4:09 Adam Well, Drew, you being the only doctor in the room.

4:11 Drew And I don't know the answer to that question.

4:12 Adam All right. All I know is that vivisection, is that what it's called?

4:15 Drew When you open them up, yeah.

4:17 Adam Well, I thought it was just experimenting on animals. Now, what's it called when you experiment on the animals?

4:22 Guest Vivisection.

4:23 Drew Vivisection includes all experimentation?

4:25 Adam Let's shut Drew's mic off. Obviously, it has no compassion. We knew we had no sense of humor and now he doesn't care about the pets. All I'm saying is, I never think about it. I'm usually glad that bad things happen, other creatures than me, but then whenever I see the footage of it, I always freak out and I stop eating meat for like 10 minutes.

4:49 It's really easy to check on the back of a product.

4:51 Adam What do you do?

4:52 Just check for, you know, no cruelty. Just check for the products that haven't been tested.

4:57 Adam I'm a Tom's of Maine man.

4:59 Guest There you go.

4:59 Adam Myself.

4:59 Guest That's good stuff.

5:00 Adam Good toothpaste, good deodorant, good everything from those folks. What?

5:05 Burt's Bees.

5:06 Adam Is that your stuff?

5:07 No, I wish. It's good stuff though.

5:09 Adam Get your name in it.

5:09 That's B-U-R-T. Sorry.

5:11 Adam All right, so go out and get that stuff. Costs an extra nickel. It's a little better for the environment. The puppies can run free and I could punch in the face.

5:19 And the monkeys.

5:20 Adam Toothpaste and the monkeys. Understand that. And you know, in the mice, I know where people come down on the mice. I was saying this today to Jimmy. You know, they did this thing where they test mice and they found out the thin ones lived longer. And I said, there's gotta be an animal just a little bit closer to us. Cause you know, every time they do that thing where they go, hey, it works on the mice. So now it's going to work on us. And then I look at the mouse, I see the tail and the red eyes and stuff. And I go, ah, come on.

5:48 Drew No, they go, they go to monkey's necks. And they're doing, they're doing that research on monkeys, in fact.

5:52 Adam I like them to work on manatees.

5:54 Drew Did they look like you?

5:56 Adam They're kind of the shape of a fat chick and they're big. You know, I don't like the idea of something. I want them to be big, like me, you know? I allow, again, the prisoners or the homeless or the mentally insane. I'm just-

6:08 Drew Or people you don't like.

6:10 Adam Or my enemies.

6:10 Drew Yeah, just people you don't like.

6:11 Adam Right, I don't expect the government to sort through all those people, though. All right, so there's a big concert and it is going on in Canyon, let's see, Oak Canyon Ranch in Irvine and that's coming up on March 28th.

6:26 Drew Sunday.

6:27 Adam Sunday, that's this Sunday.

6:28 Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

6:31 Adam You gotta be there because everybody's gonna be there. Are the U's gonna be there? Good Charlotte, or at least members of Good Charlotte, which is really all Good Charlotte is, is a bunch of guys, if you think about it, Drew. So if you have the members, you know, you got Good Charlotte. Goldfinger, is Goldfinger playing?

6:48 Guest We are, absolutely.

6:49 Adam Where's Darren? Don't tell me he's in the United States.

6:52 Guest He lives in Toronto, man. He does?

6:53 Adam He should stay there.

6:54 Guest He moved to Canada.

6:57 Drew Why?

6:57 Adam We threw him out. I think he was extradited.

6:59 Drew Wow.

7:00 Guest His wife's from Canada, I don't know.

7:02 Drew He's still married?

7:04 Guest He's still married, yeah. He's doing really well.

7:06 Drew Good for him.

7:07 Guest We actually just toured England and we did this darkness thing, that band The Darkness, I don't know if you know them, you know, and he just put a thong on him and it's good stuff. A thong. Yeah, a thong. Put a thong and a wig on him and it's like, that's all you need.

7:19 Adam Yeah, he's a drummer. And so is he out here? Is he coming out? Is he playing?

7:23 Guest He'll be here, yeah, tomorrow.

7:25 Adam Fantastic. All right, don't tell him, tell him I'm up in Canada. Tell him I'm in Canada and it'll be one of those things when he calls me to bother me. I'll go, Darren, I went out to Canada. What the, I didn't, oh, Christ, oh, the luck. Wow, like ships in the night. What are you gonna do? Now, give my love, give all the Goldfinger ends.

7:45 Guest I will, absolutely.

7:46 Tons of other cool bands, too, that are gonna be.

7:48 Adam Yeah, yeah, I'm looking at them. And I mean, it's gotta be 14, 15 bands.

7:54 Yes.

7:55 Adam Yes? All right.

7:56 Drew Where is this venue?

7:57 Guest It's down at like Irvine, I don't know, it's out. I've been there once, it's out outside. It's healthy, Warren. I've never seen the food.

8:03 Adam It's Irvine Lake, which is near, it's Oak Canyon Ranch, which is near Irvine Lake. So anyway, that's this Sunday. It's for a good cause. It's a ton of good bands. And if you want the information on it, you can go to www.concertforcompassion, onebigfatword.com.

8:25 Yes? Uh-huh.

8:26 Adam All right, let's get to the phones and we'll speak to Rachel, who's 19. What's happening?

8:35 I actually had two questions, but since Joel's not there yet, I can't ask him. But my first question is, during vaginal sex, and when a girl does the Kegel exercises, I was wondering if a guy really has any effect on him because it doesn't really do anything for me.

8:58 Drew The purpose for the Kegel exercises is to help you with orgasmic control, not to somehow increase the guy's pleasure. It has nothing to do with the guy. No, the guy, listen.

9:09 Adam As a guy, don't you feel like you want to just put your penis through a hole in a piece of plywood and then a big hand grabbed on it and started trying to yank it off? Like isn't that what the Kegels are for?

9:20 Drew But you want your hand grabbing it, you see? What is that? Muscular contractions of the vagina and pelvic floor.

9:28 Adam The guys can do them too.

9:31 Drew We're doing it right now. Listen, Rachel, the guy's just happy if you're there. That's all you need to worry about, just being present. Okay. And a little enthusiasm and he'll be perfect.

9:39 Caller Well, yeah, I got enthusiasm and I'll go with that.

9:43 Adam And the Kegels supposed to tighten it up for the guy?

9:46 Drew No.

9:46 Caller Yeah. Well, it's not.

9:48 Adam What's it supposed to do?

9:48 Drew It's supposed to help her with orgasmic control.

9:51 Adam Well, we wouldn't know. Would we not know? I would know. I can tell. All right, Rachel.

9:57 Drew In fact, during, you know, as in preparation for the course, those muscles tend to relax. I mean, that's part of the thing, you're ready to receive something.

10:06 Adam Let's talk to Ryan, who's 24. Ryan.

10:11 Hey, how's it going, guys?

10:12 Adam Good.

10:13 Hey, I just want to say, Adam, I really appreciate your style of humor. You know, you don't just try to set up for a punch line. You know, you're funny along the way.

10:21 Drew Yeah, but don't step on him. Don't get away. If you don't anticipate him coming into his humor.

10:26 Adam I'm sure you'll finish my goddamn jokes off, you idiot. Hold on a second. I don't know. I haven't seen John from Goldfinger in a while, but I'm not sure if I feel like a winner or a loser when a guest who's been on the show from, you know, years back comes on to the show. And like, what do you think about that, John?

10:46 Guest About you being a loser? Well, here's what I'm saying. That you're still here, you mean?

10:50 Adam Right. Yeah, here's what I'm saying. Like, that could be... It could be... It really could... It could swing drastically either direction, like one hand, wow, it's kind of sad that these two are still just basically, you know, rotting in late night radio. On the other hand, there could be a, wow, you know, a certain kind of respect for them.

11:08 Guest No, the consistency, man. People want consistency, and it's... and you're consistently funny. Whenever I watch, whenever I listen to your show, which is maybe once every two weeks, I laugh out loud at least once.

11:21 Adam So just twice a month? Twice a month, huh?

11:23 Guest Yeah, something like that. Driving.

11:26 Adam That's what you call a fan.

11:27 Drew Now he's angry.

11:29 Adam Every once in a while, I listen to Goldfinger CD, not so much anymore. You know, if I'm on a long ride, like I'm driving to Michigan or something, and, yeah.

11:38 Drew Yeah, you did that at least once in the last eight years.

11:43 Adam I don't do it that much. I don't get a chance to listen to that much Goldfinger anymore. We're cool. Yeah. Did you hear that, Drew? That was an attack.

11:53 Drew I know. I heard it. I knew you'd feel that way.

11:55 Guest I'm not attacking you, Adam. I love you, bro. Come on, bro.

11:58 Drew This makes us your platitudes about staying.

12:00 Adam The kid was selling Doc Martens last time I talked to him.

12:05 Guest Yeah, I was. He comes in here drunk with power.

12:08 Adam He tries to attack me.

12:09 Drew Didn't he work at the Santa Monica pub?

12:12 Adam No, no, he's working with this kiosk.

12:15 Guest I did. No, I had to look at those old ladies' corns. Every day some old lady would be like, how do I get rid of this boil? They didn't want to try on shoes. They just want to show me their feet. That's it. For real. That's what I did for a living. Yeah, I could have a little bit better job now.

12:31 Yeah.

12:31 Adam All right. So, what's up?

12:34 I got a question about semen, but I'd also like to, if it wouldn't be too much to ask, I'd like to field a call for you guys.

12:41 Drew Yeah, it's too much to ask.

12:43 Adam Yeah. All right. Why not? You want to do it?

12:47 Sure.

12:47 Adam How do we do this, Drew?

12:49 Drew Well, first, let him ask his question.

12:51 Adam All right. Ask your question.

12:52 Okay. Well, I was watching a Peter North video a couple of days ago, and I mean, you've seen that guy do his business. I'm wondering, how do you produce that much ejaculate?

13:08 Drew How do you become six foot eight tall if you're five foot ten?

13:10 Is that just a genetic thing?

13:12 Drew Yes.

13:15 There's no way that you can increase the amount of ejaculate?

13:17 Drew Ryan, you could ask me five more times. The answer is going to be the same.

13:21 Adam Have you ever seen the decorator work?

13:23 Drew No.

13:24 Adam You guys know what I'm talking about?

13:26 Guest What does it mean when you watch that more than you watch in the girl in the porn movie?

13:30 Adam Well, it does kind of dominate the screen in a certain portion of the porn movie. And it's always I don't know if it's a little gay if you time yours, you know, but he's still going like 20 minutes after I'm, you know, I'm already I'm in the kitchen. I'm disgusted with myself. I come back. He's still like, I don't like the part where we have to show the guy's face, though, like where the guy go that weird chin dip, you know, you know, the move where at first you stick the chin out and then it kind of dips back like that. It's like, yeah, we get it. You're having an orgasm.

13:58 Drew The vomit sounds.

13:59 Adam Please. All right. Here's all I'm here's all I'm saying. Peter, Peter North produces a copious load, so we like to say in the industry, and that's just how he's wired. That's true.

14:15 Drew That's the plumbing.

14:16 Adam You know, I think it's funny, too, is it there's no rhyme or reason to it. It's like you think it's over. It's like, there you go. OK. And then then OK, there's the last one, because that's one and then all of a sudden one rogue, you know, rogue rope comes flying out of there in some crazy direction.

14:37 It's only editing.

14:38 Drew Thank you.

14:39 Adam No, it's not. No, you've got to I'll show you some stuff.

14:42 Hey, have you ever found that more foreplay actually increases the volume to an extent?

14:46 Drew Yeah, men will actually produce the sort of start storing stuff in the seminal vesicles.

14:51 Adam Yeah, I find that like if I watch like the beginning part of the porn, if you sit for two or three minutes. Like if I watch that part, like if I watched the part where they advertise for the naughty phone calls for the hot chicks talking on the phone, she's like, oh, once while they're like getting it on and they're talking. Sometimes they're like blowing a guy and talking on the phone like, oh, you're so hot. And it's like, and I'd like, hey, if I was on the other line, I'd be pissed. Like, what's that in your mouth? It ain't me. Yeah. Drew, you know what I'm saying? You're paying like $2.99 a minute. She's with some other dude.

15:28 Drew It's nice that it's your idea of foreplay.

15:30 Adam Well, that's what I'm saying. Sometimes I watch that part. What else could you be talking about? You know what would be nice, Drew, if the penis had a little rifling, like a pistol. You know, remember back in the day, they'd have the musket and the ball would just go fly and everywhere. But then they rifled the barrel and all of a sudden it went out of the way. And it hit its target.

15:54 Guest What about distance? Can you hold it in longer to get more distance?

15:58 Drew Listen, not medical issues.

16:02 Adam He knows. He'll tell you during the break.

16:05 Drew That's right.

16:05 Adam All right. I'm just saying if it had some rifling, you wouldn't get that rogue shot that ended up on your shoulder. You know what I mean?

16:13 Drew What are things that would you call that?

16:15 Adam Oh, yoke it out.

16:16 Drew We'll yoke out your penis for you. We'll do it. You told Ryan to go ahead and hit him twice. All right.

16:24 Adam So what I do?

16:25 Let me just do it from this end to make it simpler.

16:27 Drew Who are we talking to? So line four. All right. Four and three.

16:35 Caller's name?

16:37 Drew Jessica.

16:38 Age?

16:39 Adam Sixteen.

16:41 Jessica?

16:42 Yeah.

16:42 You're 16?

16:43 Yes.

16:44 Go ahead.

16:45 Hello?

16:46 Yeah, you're on.

16:47 Guest Professional.

16:51 I have a question.

16:53 What's your question?

16:55 About like this guy I'm sleeping with.

16:59 Are you taking any medication?

17:03 What?

17:03 Do you have any history of abuse? No.

17:07 Yes, actually I do.

17:09 Where's your dad, Jessica?

17:11 My daddy's gone.

17:14 Listen, what you're going to need to do, you're going to need to get yourself in a 12-step program, okay? Work the steps.

17:23 But wouldn't I have to go to Al-Anon?

17:25 Yes, work the steps.

17:27 Drew Jessica's been thinking about this thing. Jessica, what actually is your question?

17:30 Adam I don't know, Ryan's rolling. Let him go. Hey Ryan, Ryan, listen. You know, like last week I was in New York, Stryker came in here. What do we need Stryker for? We got Ryan over here in Orlando.

17:45 Stryker.

17:46 I've been taking some tests.

17:48 Adam Yeah, no kidding. I feel like a jackass. Stoner from Orlando. Alright there buddy. What do I hit here, Drew?

17:58 Drew Jessica, there we go.

18:01 Adam Jessica?

18:03 Drew By the way, I think we freaked Chris out last night too. He was locked in a room with us for six months. We spoke to him for the first time last night.

18:11 Adam Oh, engineer Chris? Oh, I was about to say, who's Chris? That would have been humiliating if I actually said, who's Chris? I haven't guessed on last night. Bert and John both here tonight. Bert from the East, John of course from Goldfinger. Just doing a little reset. Jessica? What's up?

18:29 So, I've called here before, called before and I had moved out of my mom's house. And I was living on my own. I'm in college and I had a job, right? And I did this for like four months and like three weeks ago I moved back home. But the problem was, I was having like a sexual relationship, I guess, with someone, like the owner's son of where I work at. And he's 26. My mom forced me because I got in an accident and I was in the emergency room and I freaked my mom out.

19:03 Drew You said you did have, you do have an abuse history of some type?

19:06 Yes.

19:06 Drew What happened?

19:08 She kind of, when we were younger, she used to sometimes beat us with a belt and throw me down the stairs and stuff.

19:15 Drew Fabulous. Sometimes, just sometimes.

19:18 Oh, yeah.

19:18 Adam Well, it's a cultural thing. We can't judge. Cannot judge.

19:23 Drew Go ahead. Did you run away from home at any time?

19:26 No, I didn't because I knew there, like, I always wanted to when I was younger, but I knew there was no, like, rational, rationally speaking, I knew I couldn't go anywhere. I would have always had to go back home.

19:39 Adam Let me just say this. You hear a lot and you see in movies, like, people being thrown downstairs. How does this actually work? Like, come on, let's, uh, up to the top of the stairs. I'm going to, uh, roll you down.

19:49 Probably start from the top.

19:50 Adam You start, oh, so the argument might break out on the second floor.

19:53 So, my dad come up and rip me out of the top bunk of the bed and then toss me down the stairs.

19:57 Adam Your dad, would your dad toss you down the stairs? But because it seems like in a way being ripped out of the top bunk, it's a sort of smaller staircase to fall down. But all I'm saying is, is after a few tosses down the stairs, if I was like in the entry hall, and there's like, get up here, I'd be like, no, I'm going, I'm going down to the basement. I'm going to lie down on the floor. Like, and by the way, like, you know, you ever hear women about, like, oh, they lost their baby when they rolled down the stairs or they fell there. This is like one of those movie things. I didn't know it actually, actually went on. Jessica?

20:34 Yes.

20:35 Adam All right, so you were thrown down the stairs.

20:37 Drew All right, so this 26-year-old son of the boss, what's the deal?

20:41 Okay, so I was working there and I work with, like, high school kids and he didn't think I was a high school kid and I go, I live on, I was living on my own and I was in college and stuff, so obviously I guess from that he thought I was older. And so we started going out and, like, on our first date, like, we slept together and then it kept going and going and then, like, we stopped it. But then last week, like, I saw him for the first time for a while and we ended up sleeping together again.

21:11 Drew Why did you stop it? Because he found out how old you were?

21:13 No, he, no, no.

21:15 Drew Then why did you stop it?

21:16 Well, because, because, like, we're very different. Like, I'm kind of more intellectual and he's more of a like laid back kind of guy. So, like our interests diverged.

21:28 Drew Well, no, it doesn't fit. Give us another reason.

21:31 Adam Yeah. Your interests include having sex with guys that are ten years your senior and rolling downstairs.

21:37 Caller No, no.

21:39 I mean, like, it was just like a, it was very, very short and I think it was just like a pleasure thing, you know, just sleeping.

21:48 Drew You didn't like him.

21:49 Adam Well, look, either way, the guy's a criminal. He's 26. You're 16, too old for you.

21:54 Caller I know.

21:56 Adam So now you end this and you find a nice guy who's closer to your age, right?

22:01 Caller No, no, but he's like the owner's son, you know.

22:04 Drew You know who this is? This is, no.

22:06 Adam No.

22:07 Drew This is who this is.

22:08 Adam It is?

22:09 Drew No, it's not. No. I know that girl.

22:13 Adam So this is the owner's son. So what? Really?

22:15 Drew That's her.

22:16 Adam Sounds like her.

22:17 Caller No, it really isn't. I know that girl.

22:19 Drew How do you know her?

22:20 Caller No, like I've heard her on the radio.

22:26 Adam Alright, so I don't understand. He's the owner's son.

22:32 Caller Here's the thing. I like sleeping with him and stuff and I'm kind of screwed up myself. Like I have a really bad background.

22:38 Adam Alright, so we're asking you to stop sleeping with him. I know.

22:41 Caller How can I though? I mean, I'm in contact with him.

22:43 Adam You have to keep your knees together.

22:45 Drew Well, you mentioned being an al-anon. Are you an addict too?

22:49 Caller What?

22:50 Drew Are you?

22:51 Caller Am I? No.

22:52 Drew Is he?

22:54 Adam How about you get some therapy? You were, you know, you were physically abused and everything. How about a little therapy for that?

23:06 Drew And you're making some horrible choices. You're making bad choices. You can't control your impulses. That's something needs to be worked on. There's no magic for that.

23:14 Adam It's no fun.

23:15 Drew We can tell you to stop. You're not going to. You can't.

23:18 Adam Speaking of stopping, you know, I was just thinking about her when she was like sleeping with the dude she works with. Then they make a pact and not get together anymore. And then they get together again. Remember those days? Nothing better than that. You know what I mean? Like, hey, we're over. Then next you know you're going at it like eight days later. And then you're over. I'm married now, but I'm going to start implementing that in my marriage. Yeah, listen, I'll not be putting out. There'll be no more.

23:48 Drew First of all, she'll be like, yeah, fine.

23:52 Adam What do you mean?

23:53 Drew That's different?

23:54 Adam I'll be with Hondo the Gardener full time now. We go full time? I got to tell him. I got to tell him. Put an attachment on his leaf blower. And then when it comes time for you to come back, then it's very passionate. And then it's like, no, we can't do this. I'm just saying it's the best. It's the best part of the relationship. When you're breaking it up, when you're getting back together.

24:19 Yeah, the makeup session's the best for sure.

24:21 Adam But I don't need all the hassle, the argument. I don't want to move out. I don't need any alimony or anything.

24:26 Drew This is why your ex-girlfriend of yours moved in with your grandmother. So you wouldn't keep doing that.

24:30 Guest I say, Adam, go on the road, go tour.

24:32 Adam Really?

24:33 Guest Yeah, when you come back, it's awesome.

24:35 Adam Oh, when you come back. OK.

24:37 Guest It's awesome.

24:38 Adam When you come back.

24:39 Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.

24:41 Adam Hi, Drew. That's it. I'm touring. I'm taking Darren's place in Goldfinger. Get myself a little fang back. Get up there, beat my ass.

24:49 Drew Run on a skateboard.

24:50 Guest You got a hairy ass, don't you?

24:52 Adam I got a hairy ass.

24:53 Drew You don't have the right calves.

24:54 Adam He's got big calves.

24:56 Drew Are you willing to?

24:57 Adam Darren's got big calves.

24:57 Drew What was that look? A giant calf. Does he have big calves?

25:03 Adam He's a sturdy man.

25:04 Caller You got to put a Twinkie in your ass, too. That's his job.

25:07 Drew Oh, that's his thing?

25:08 Adam Yeah.

25:08 Caller That's his thing. He lets kids eat it.

25:10 Adam Yeah, I do snowballs. I do the pink snowballs. That's my thing. Because you know what? I don't copy anyone. Yeah, I play by my own.

25:20 Drew I want to be my own pastry anus rule.

25:22 Adam Yeah. Because, you know, I'm going to breed a part.

25:24 Caller Those things are terrible, those snowballs.

25:26 Adam I'm going to test them on animals. Alright, we're going to take a little bit of a break here. We've got a song to hear from the used. By the way, Drew was yacking so much we didn't get to it the first time. Bert's here. Yes! Joel from Good Charlotte is coming, I think he's coming in at 11 o'clock hour. Is that what we're doing? Well, we'll sort the whole mess out after this.

25:50 Caller Love Line will be right back.

25:52 So get your problems ready.

26:12 Adam That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-4-5-6-7-8-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-

26:39 Bert McCracken is here tonight. John Feldman here tonight. The Us and Goldfinger.

26:40 Adam Joel is here from Good Charlotte. He'll be getting his own microphone and just a couple of few. That's him in the background. There's a little gig that they're playing this Sunday. It's at the Oak Canyon Ranch in Irvine, which is near the Irvine Lake, I think, or Lake Irvine. The gates open at 10.30. It's 20 bucks. It's 20 bucks. It's like 18 cents a band. Average is out there. But a churro is going to run you $80. That's where they get you. They get you with the churros. They burn you with the churros, Drew, every time.

27:00 Guest I used to love those things.

27:01 Adam Churros?

27:02 Guest Yeah.

27:02 Caller I haven't eaten one in a while.

27:03 Guest Well, they have butter probably. I don't, I gotta get a vegan churro. I gotta figure something out.

27:08 Adam There ain't nothing that comes from Mexico that you can eat.

27:11 Guest Nothing, nothing.

27:12 Adam Everything.

27:12 Guest Lard.

27:13 Adam Everything.

27:13 Guest Everything is lard. Sucks.

27:15 Adam If flan is just chilled lard with sugar on it.

27:19 Guest Yeah.

27:20 Adam Yeah.

27:20 Guest It's ridiculous.

27:21 Adam They don't, as a matter of fact, if they find out you're vegan in Mexico, they'll string you up. They don't eat your kind.

27:27 Guest Nope.

27:28 Adam And they eat you.

27:28 Guest Yeah. I think about going to Tijuana, those, I used to eat those hot dogs, those dog hot dogs, whatever they are.

27:37 Adam There's mini tacos out there. So I always wonder, like, what's going on in the old brain? Like when you head down to downtown and you're down by the convention center and you see the guy with the modified shopping cart with the propane tank on it, it's got the Oscar Mayer wieners wrapped in bacon. And he's wearing a filthy concert T-shirt and some brown. And it's like, yeah, you're going to pay for the, there's, there's a Dwayne schnitzel over here.

28:03 Guest Drunk food. That's all it is. It's drunk food.

28:06 Adam You got to be loaded, right?

28:07 Guest You have to be.

28:08 Adam You make bad decisions. Yes, Drew? All right. Well, you're going to eat off a shopping cart that's got a propane tank on it. The guy's wiping his nose with a sleeve. He's got the, the rating he has is, is a, is an R. It's just big bars that's not even in the top, the top five. It's way down.

28:28 Guest There's no other city that does that. You know that? I mean, I've never, I've never seen it anywhere else besides the rating, the rating, the rating thing.

28:35 Drew Yeah, I kind of, you know, my wife always freak out if she sees a C or B and I'm like, Well, it's, it's clue the rest of the country and every restaurant in Los Angeles, Los Angeles County, I think gets a rating from the health, health department, ABC or I think it's even the AA.

28:49 Guest I've always sees the lowest.

28:51 Adam ABC, A, yeah, D is bad times.

28:53 Drew Not passing and then the R for the traveling salesman.

28:55 Adam And a lot of people get freaked out when they see the B or the C, but being a DF student, when I see that B, I'm like, wow, these guys, they're on the honor roll. Let's go. I mean, it seems like B is pretty good in my opinion.

29:09 Drew I once saw the criteria and when you read what B is, I think, whoa.

29:13 Adam Oh really?

29:13 Guest Is it really? Yeah. Cause I've asked a C restaurant, they lied then straight up. They must have, cause they said that someone left a jacket on the counter or something like that. To get a C, you gotta like have some rat pooping all over.

29:24 Adam There was a hooker's corpse in the jacket. That's what it is.

29:27 Drew In the chili.

29:28 Adam That actually had a hand fall in the salad bar. Rat droppings. That's the one I always like. Vermin infestation, rat droppings. I always liked that. All right. Let's take ourselves a call and then we'll hear a song. We have a Germany or Florida. This is huge. John listens to the show like twice a year. You know, so he's probably twice, twice a month, twice a month. So he's probably heard.

29:54 Guest I didn't work so much. I listen to every, I would absolutely listen.

29:57 Adam I understand. There's no way you could bring a radio into wherever you're working. They don't make the portable ones anymore.

30:02 Drew Those tape recorders, it's very expensive.

30:04 Adam They make the big truck mounted radios, but you can't actually bring them indoors. All right, bird.

30:08 Guest In between vocal takes, man, this next record, I'm going to just, we're going to put him in left side.

30:13 Adam I'll tell you, that is, it's not like he's working at a chocolate factory or something, you know, he's got to listen because he's producing, you know, he's got to listen, I understand.

30:21 They just said they're taking a Germany or Florida, it might be you.

30:24 Drew Yes, it's Katie.

30:25 Adam It is Katie.

30:27 Drew Go ahead.

30:31 Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis, sex, meth and death fetishes, both of them have got these, guaranteed not to bore you Germany or Florida.

30:40 Adam Yeah, Germany or Florida is a game that's sweeping the nation, which is all the bizarre. Are you, are you allergic to good radio, Drew?

30:47 Drew I must be. Because man, was that good.

30:52 Adam You must have some sort of problem with my comedy pollen. My funny dander's gotten into Drew's sinuses. Here's, here's how Germany or Florida goes. All the bizarre stories, mostly crime related stories. Oh, am I boring you now, Drew? He's yawning, he's sneezing. Here's the thing. They're all, they're either out of Germany or they're out of Florida. They, they give us the story. We tell them Germany or Florida. I, I'm normally bad about 800% here, but I was 0 for 2 the last few nights. Katie? All right, Germany or Florida. Here we go.

31:33 Caller A five year old boy took a bag of marijuana to the school and was sprinkling it over a friend's food when a school monitor intervened. The food was confiscated before the other boy had a chance to eat it. Law enforcement officers said it was unclear whether he even knew what he was carrying, although he tried to hide the bag when the monitor approached.

31:56 Drew How old was he?

31:58 Caller Five.

31:59 Adam What? Did he go to school? Kindergarten? All right. Now I know where this story hails from because I heard it during a writers' meeting. So I'm going to pull out of this one. Let's hear the theme song one more time, Anderson, just to put everyone in the mood.

32:16 Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis. Sex, meth and death fetishes. Both of them have got these. Guaranteed not to bore you, Germany or Florida.

32:24 Adam All right.

32:29 Go ahead.

32:31 Drew You should get a credit fraction on that. It's all right to take it.

32:35 Adam No, no, that's not fair.

32:37 Caller All right.

32:37 Adam What is it? Drew, what do you think? You going Germany? Bert?

32:42 Caller Florida.

32:42 Guest Yeah.

32:43 Adam Florida.

32:45 Guest I just think, I don't think pot when I think Germany. Those people aren't really like pot smokers that I've met over there.

32:50 Drew They're like two kinds.

32:52 Adam Well, that's a good point.

32:53 Guest Maybe, I don't know.

32:54 Adam All right, we got two Floridas and a Germany.

32:57 Drew I actually don't think it's, I can easily see it happening in this country, but not in Florida so much. Strangely enough, that's a California or Nevada thing.

33:05 Adam Katie? Germany or Florida? That's right. Beat by a mcracken. Drew, you better do some soul searching, my friend. All those years of college and the amount of squat, did they?

33:26 Drew Now when it comes to guessing.

33:27 Adam When Bert comes rolling in here, pow. Dropped out of high school. Yeah, it's not just guessing. Yeah. Bert's got a eighth and a half grade education. Came in here and he didn't just guess. He nailed it. No, he took the information. He processed the information. He thought about it and then he guessed. That's what I'm saying. Either way, whether he's lucky or smart, either way he's got you beat. Either way. And John too. Although John may have just been going with Bert because he's producing it.

33:57 Guest No, I smoked a lot of pot in high school.

33:58 Adam So, you know.

33:59 Guest I think about it. I can think like a stoner, I think. Even though five-year-olds aren't quite a stoner probably yet.

34:04 Caller Where'd that kid get his pot from?

34:07 Adam Vanessa? All right, we don't want to talk to you because we got to hear a you song. I don't mean we have to hear a you song. I mean, we will enjoy hearing it.

34:15 Drew And he doesn't mean we don't want to talk to you ever. We just have to come a song before we talk to him.

34:19 Adam Right. All right. All right, let's hear a you song. And then since Bert's here and then Joel's here from Good Charlotte and John's here from Goldfinger and the studio and everything else. All right, well, the song is called Maybe Memories. That is The Youth.

37:19 Caller Thank you.

37:21 Adam That's right. I knew this kid had-

37:23 Caller Thanks, John.

37:25 Adam Yeah. Had what? Verve. Had Verve. Is Voxie. That's Verve and Moxie, everybody. Bert is here from The Youth. John is here from Goldfinger. Joel is here from Good Charlotte, and gonna be jumping in on the microphone right after this break. There's a big concert coming up. It's this Sunday. Starts at the gates open at 10.30, and the money's going to a good cause. So many, many, many bands are gonna be there, including most of Good Charlotte, and The Used and Goldfinger, and you just go to www.concert.

38:02 Story of the year.

38:02 Adam forcompassion.com.

38:05 And My Chemical Romance.

38:07 Adam Yeah, some 1,000 bands are playing.

38:09 Caller 1,500.

38:10 Adam It's never gonna end. As a matter of fact, the concert actually started last year this time. They're just getting to the halfway point. All right, we will take ourselves a quick break, and we'll be right back. Peace.

38:21 Drew Peace.

38:21 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

38:49 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. John is here from Goldfinger. Joel is now here from Good Charlotte. Hello. Bert McCracken is, I'm guessing Burt's on his way to the gym, probably. If I know Bert, maybe down to the firing range or maybe the spa.

39:09 Caller I got a little blip from last time Bert was on.

39:11 Adam Oh, okay, well let's hear that.

39:13 Caller And he's gone now, right? That sucks, here we go.

39:16 First of all, I just want to say that I love Kelly Osborne. And second, I want to say that I am in love with Kelly Osborne.

39:24 Guest Ooh, that's, he doesn't want to hear that. That's mean.

39:29 Adam How dare you Anderson.

39:30 Jerked.

39:31 Caller Just revisiting, that's all.

39:32 Adam All right.

39:33 You guys are mean.

39:35 Adam I know, that's the whole thing.

39:36 I'm looking at Drew and Adam going, you guys are mean.

39:38 Adam First off, we fired Anderson nine months ago. He just won't leave the studio. We're not in the same studio he's in.

39:46 Guest Where is he?

39:46 Caller I haven't paid in six months.

39:48 And you work? Yeah. Still?

39:49 Caller I don't know what I'm doing here, actually.

39:51 Adam He loves the show. And really, he just steals blank cassettes from Likus' locker.

39:58 Do you listen to a Loveline? Yeah, I do the little sound effects.

40:02 Adam I do the doiyoyoyoy sound. How about you make that sound in me?

40:06 Caller How dare all of you. I could also make you all quiet real quick.

40:10 Adam All right, buddy. Good times. So, let's see, Good Charlotte. What do we need to talk about with Good Charlotte?

40:18 Drew Brothers in Japan.

40:19 Yeah, we are starting our record on Wednesday. New record, new album. And so we were on like a five or six week break. And now we're starting a new record and getting ready for just a new album and gonna go back out on tour in the summer and go back out forever.

40:36 Adam Gonna record that out here in Los Angeles?

40:38 Yes, out here in Los Angeles. Hello Los Angeles.

40:42 Adam In the North Hollywood area perhaps?

40:44 Yeah, like is North Hollywood considered over where like Vine and Sunset and Hollywood?

40:49 Adam No, that would be Hollywood.

40:51 Well, we're doing it in Hollywood.

40:52 Adam Yeah, you know, in North Hollywood, there's really nine cities between Hollywood and North Hollywood.

40:58 I don't know it out here. Y'all out here confused me.

41:01 Drew At least North Hollywood is actually north of Hollywood. It's about the only thing that connects it to Hollywood.

41:05 Adam I know, but when you're in North Hollywood, I grew up in North Hollywood. I went to North Hollywood High. Yeah. You go to North Hollywood and people logically would think, well, like if I said it's in North Orlando.

41:18 Drew South Pasadena. It's right next door.

41:20 Southern Maryland.

41:22 Adam You'd think you were in Hollywood. Yeah. You're not you're not 10 miles from you're 10 miles from Hollywood. That's that's all I'm saying.

41:28 Drew 12 cities.

41:28 But it's all the relatives, you know.

41:30 Adam I think I think they're just trying to glom on like Beverly Hills adjacent.

41:35 Drew Right.

41:35 Adam They just say you open the newspaper says Beverly Hills adjacent. It's in Pacoima. They just they just want to make an extra buck.

41:41 Good point.

41:42 Adam Thank you. Thank God, because Drew rarely says good point.

41:48 Yeah.

41:48 Adam Vanessa. Yeah. You're 25.

41:52 Caller Same age as me.

41:52 Adam What's up?

41:54 Well, I'm a single mom. And my five year old son has started to ask about his dad. And his dad hasn't been in the picture since I was three months pregnant. And I never say anything mean about him, even though I would love to, but I just don't feel it's right to say anything mean about him.

42:12 Drew We actually, we suspect, and there's some reason to believe that this is true, that having the dad completely absent is better than the guy that comes in at the holidays and has gone the rest of the time. Better than the guy that's just a deadbeat and a big pain in the neck and got a constant conflict with you.

42:29 Adam And also the guy, I don't like these guys who don't put any work into the production and then get to step out and take a bow at the end of the show and then leave until they put up the next production and everyone's hauling crates and putting up scenery and stuff and you just go out and take a bow again. Like you buy a couple of presents for Christmas and then you split again and the kid ends up idealizing you.

42:50 Drew Well, no, even this, but now she has an opportunity where he can idealize the dad. Well, that could be...

42:57 Adam I don't think if he doesn't have any contact with a kid there won't be as much idealizing.

43:02 Drew No, Vanessa can see to it that it's really...

43:05 Adam You tell him...

43:06 Drew He worked for the United Nations.

43:08 Adam Tell him, tell him is like... Well, is he gonna see the kid at all?

43:13 He has made no contact with him. I just know he doesn't want to have anything to do with him, but I don't want to tell my son that because I don't want to hurt him more than he's hurt already.

43:23 Drew Yeah, do not tell him that.

43:24 Adam No. You tell him he was a part of a desert storm and his F-18 Hornet went down over southern Iraq. He died a hero. His wingman begged him to bail out, but he stayed with it because his navigator had stuck in his harness and couldn't get out, and he said he was staying with him. Most guys would have pulled the ejection cord long before, but he drove it into the ground, and that's how he went.

43:55 Drew War and Peace, the novel ends with an offspring, a son of a guy that died in the Napoleonic War. Imagine who his father was and what a great hero he was and how he'd live up to that. The guy never met this father before.

44:08 Adam Yeah, it's better.

44:09 What about when he meets him and he finds out. I was just telling him that he's not around and you don't know where he is and you don't know, you know, you know, he's asked, is he a good dude? And he's like, I don't really know him. He's not.

44:19 Well, that's what I say, because I don't want to lie, because it's going to come back and bite me in the butt later on. If he's.

44:24 Adam But then when he's like, well, mommy, why are you? Well, why did you? Why were you with daddy when you were?

44:29 Drew He'll blame you.

44:30 Yeah.

44:31 Adam Mom's a whore.

44:32 Oh, and I don't want to open that can of worms either, because I just graduated last year from college and I'm going to law school in the fall. And I don't want to keep anything from. I don't know if this is selfish or not, but I just don't want that to keep me from going over there, because I know that would better me and my son.

44:49 Adam What does your son? I mean, what does your biological father actually do?

44:54 I haven't talked to him since then, so I have no idea what he's doing now.

44:57 Adam You don't get any money from him?

44:58 I don't get any money from him. I'm proud of what I've done without him.

45:03 Adam What you mean? Milk the government?

45:06 No, I have not got any government money at all.

45:09 Adam How do you support it?

45:10 Drew That's not our usual call.

45:12 Adam I work hard.

45:13 Drew No, Vanessa, you're not our usual call.

45:14 Adam I know you're not.

45:15 Drew No. Not by any stretch.

45:17 Adam You're much smarter.

45:18 I respect you, Vanessa. Good work, girl.

45:20 Adam That was Joel. That was Joel. Who's this? Listen, Vanessa, how do you work full time? Did your family help you out? What happened?

45:32 Caller Well, you know what? At first, my parents were very disappointed, that's what I'll say. They were disappointed when they found out I was pregnant. They helped me, but I lived on my own when I was in college. And I did go to college full time and I was working part time, but...

45:47 Drew Who took care of the baby? Where did you work?

45:50 Caller I worked at the university. Now I'm working at a hospital.

45:53 Drew Who took care of the baby?

45:55 Caller The university daycare.

46:00 Adam Oh, look. Here's the whole thing with kids. All you got to do with kids is, you know, they start asking questions and you just point at something and go, hey, look, SpongeBob. And they turn around and you get another six years. That's how it works. Yeah. Yeah. So go ahead and feel, feel free just to sort of skirt the issue a little bit. And then you do that thing where, look, daddy, daddy and I were just together for a little bit of time. I don't know where he is and you're, you're so special. You're, you're why. You're why he just, he just came in like a bee and pollinated me like a, like a flower. And then he flew off to rape another flower. Well, don't say rape, say sexual abuse, deposit, and, and, but you're, you know, shifted to the kid.

46:45 Caller You're, you're always making about how special the kid is, how special the kid is.

46:50 Adam Drew, that's what your folks did with you, right?

46:52 Drew Special.

46:54 Guest You're going to have kids, Adam?

46:56 Adam Yeah.

46:57 Drew When?

46:58 Adam Drew's pregnant now. I'm working on it. I'm working hard.

47:03 Guest Really? Right now?

47:04 Drew Right now.

47:04 Adam Right now.

47:04 Drew He's trying to pregnant me.

47:05 Adam Yeah. You won't hold still.

47:08 Caller Good luck with that.

47:09 Adam We'll take ourselves a quick break. Look at the time, Drew. We'll be right back.

47:13 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

47:15 Caller Looking to hook up? Call the Dateline.

47:16 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:18 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:19 Caller One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline. 1-877-889-DATE.

47:26 Caller You know what I'm saying now, Dan?

48:02 Adam Flow number 1-800-LOVE-191. John Feldman is here tonight from Goldfinger.

48:08 Caller Hello.

48:09 Adam Joel is here from Good Charlotte.

48:11 Caller That's me.

48:12 Adam And both friends of the show. Goldfinger probably, well, one of the first bands probably on this show when I got here. Now Drew.

48:24 Caller Little history.

48:24 Guest 97-ish. When would you get here?

48:27 Adam 97-ish.

48:28 Caller The proud year I graduated from high school.

48:32 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

48:34 Caller I did graduate.

48:34 Guest How is that not a did dis? Actually. And me listening twice a month is.

48:39 Adam Yeah. Well now, but Drew.

48:44 Drew Yeah.

48:45 Adam Drew, I mean you were here with like Bow Wow Wow.

48:48 Drew Oh yeah.

48:49 Adam Hazy Phantasy.

48:50 Drew Scritty Palitty.

48:52 Caller They were great.

48:53 Adam I mean.

48:54 Guest You were here with Ricky, what's Ricky?

48:57 Drew I'd been here 10 years when Ricky showed up.

48:59 Adam Drew had been here 10 years before Raph and got here. I mean, but Drew, Drew, you've been here with some like serious 80s bands, right?

49:06 Drew Oh yeah. Oh my goodness. I'm a pre 80s band. What are you talking about?

49:10 Adam Really?

49:11 Drew I was here when, you know, when the Bangles used to hang out at the back door. Bangles are 80s. And Bang, but before they came in, way years before they came in, they begged Rodney to listen to their CDs.

49:22 Guest Bangles are awesome.

49:23 Drew Yeah. Or that, things like that.

49:24 Adam Bangles too.

49:25 Caller Never really got into them.

49:26 Adam I mean, Drew, you should have got some moral from the Bangles, like, yeah, I'll play your CD, baby. If you, you know, if you help me out.

49:32 Drew Berlin.

49:33 Adam Berlin.

49:34 Drew I think that was the first guest I was on with.

49:38 Adam Berlin. Terry Nunn.

49:39 Guest She tried to sleep with our guitar player.

49:41 Caller It's awesome, man. I'm so excited about all this.

49:43 Adam Yeah.

49:44 Drew I understand the words.

49:46 Adam Listen, you look, you're, you're in rock and roll now. You should know a little about the history. You know what I mean? There's nothing worse. There's nothing worse than these guys that go, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're getting these multi-million dollar contracts. And no, no, listen to me, they're in the NFL. They're in the NFL. And they don't know that Mike Ditka, who's their coach, used to play in the NFL. They never heard of Roger Starbuck.

50:08 Caller I like the old stuff, but I like the good old stuff. The Smiths, the Cure.

50:12 Drew They were all, yep.

50:15 Caller I like Frank Sinatra.

50:17 Adam He's not been in here.

50:21 Guest But Green Day is old school to you.

50:22 Caller I like Green Day, Goldfinger. Green Day was a new band. The Clash and, you know.

50:28 Adam All right, but you had.

50:30 Caller Bagels never got into them.

50:31 Adam You had the Smiths. You had. The Cure.

50:34 Drew With the Cure. The Cure phone or something one time.

50:36 Adam No, Cure, huge.

50:38 Drew Yeah, yeah. But they were there before.

50:39 Guest Robert Smith, therapy by Robert Smith would be awesome.

50:42 Caller I heard Morrissey's playing some shows next month. That's what I heard.

50:44 Adam Yeah.

50:45 Guest He is?

50:46 Adam I like Morrissey.

50:47 Caller I'm gonna go to every show.

50:48 Drew I mean, some of it, Adam, it's like, you know, when we did the TV show, we had like basically the whole cast of Will and Grace.

50:53 Adam Right.

50:53 Drew Do you remember those shows?

50:54 Caller Will and Grace? Isn't that on still?

50:57 Drew Yeah.

50:57 Adam They weren't on Will and Grace.

50:59 Drew At the time, they had the show had not come out yet. We had all those actors and actresses on Loveline, the MTV show. And we didn't. We can't really remember that.

51:08 Adam It didn't really happen. Yeah, when Joel was in diapers, he used to watch us on TV.

51:13 Caller I was coming up from middle school.

51:15 Adam That was great. Well, between snack time.

51:17 Caller Luckily for you guys, you got me right in time, right before I started having sex.

51:20 Adam He would have, he would catch us right between nap time and snack time, where you get a little juice box.

51:26 Drew And graham crackers.

51:28 Adam Some graham crackers, and he'd watch us.

51:30 Caller Teddy Grahams.

51:31 Adam And then he'd see John from Goldfinger on the show. Remember?

51:36 Caller And then I went to his show. I heard you on Loveline, so I came to see you play live. Ah! Can you sign my CD?

51:45 Adam Three. Let's take a call. All right, let's take a call. This is Susan.

51:51 Drew Suzanne.

51:52 Adam Suzanne. Suzanne.

51:55 Caller Hello.

51:55 Adam 19, what's up?

51:57 Caller Okay, first, I want to say hi to Joel.

52:00 Caller What's up, girl?

52:02 Caller Hey, can you say hi to my friend Jenny?

52:04 Caller Hey, Jenny, it's Joel, I just want to say hi. What's your question?

52:12 Caller Me and my boyfriend, we like have sex a lot. And we've been together like a long time, but like every time it comes to like 69, I get really like, like scared. Cause like I've never done it. And like, I don't know who should be like on top and like how it kind of like works, you know?

52:32 Adam That's interesting. Well, I, I, I, I got to consult my Hello Wees book and see what etiquette would prevail for this one. But I'm guessing to me, 69 means guy on his back. Yes?

52:46 Drew They could both be on their side.

52:48 Adam Oh really?

52:49 Drew I'll think about it.

52:51 All right.

52:52 Adam I thought about it. Did it clear it up? Doesn't feel traditional though. I mean, I'm old school.

52:58 Drew I have, you got to remember, you are the expert at receiving.

53:01 Adam I receive more.

53:02 Drew And then no one would want to miss that, you know? And so they can't leave that out of the equation.

53:06 Adam Let me explain that. Let me explain that to people, which is a lot of guys brag about how good they can do it to a chick. For me, I brag about how good I take it. You know what I mean? Like I can receive oral like no other. I'm the first to admit I'm not that good at doing it, but nobody takes it like I do.

53:26 Caller I don't think John believes you.

53:28 Drew You got to show him.

53:29 Adam Oh, well watch. Like here's my move.

53:32 Drew Look at that. Full respect.

53:38 Adam Once in a while, I'll throw in like a, yeah, don't stop.

53:44 Guest You're a lucky wife.

53:46 Adam And then once in a while, it'll be like, I'll throw in like a, nice, you know what I mean?

53:51 Drew That's all class.

53:52 Adam I bet like, or like, I can't see the TV or something, something intimate.

53:58 Drew Sandwich.

53:59 Caller All the chicks you've been with are like, I know he's like a little bit chauvinistic, but he's so cute when he does that kind of thing. Yeah. He just doesn't really do anything, he holds still.

54:08 Drew Do we pretend we thought he was dead?

54:10 Adam Yeah. Yeah, blow the corpse, baby.

54:14 Drew Yeah.

54:16 Adam That's my thing.

54:18 Guest So people still do 69.

54:19 Adam They do.

54:20 Caller So they still go, 69, yeah.

54:23 Guest I see. That's like eighth grade, 69.

54:26 Adam I think, I don't know when the prime 69 years are.

54:30 Caller When I was in high school.

54:31 Drew In terms of preoccupation, not actually doing it, right?

54:34 Adam No, here's what it is.

54:35 Caller Actually doing it?

54:37 Adam The 69, the actual execution of the 69 does not usually make it past the year mark of the relationship.

54:46 Drew But if you think about it, the whole thing is sort of novelty. It's sort of meant for humor almost. That's sort of a novelty quality to it. The young male grabs onto around 14 and just doesn't let go. And then sort of feels obliged to do it somewhere down the line, just as an homage to the years of humor.

55:02 Adam No, you do it. No, you do it when it's a new broom sweeps clean is what I'm saying, which is if you get in a fresh relationship, there may be some 69ing a foot. You see? But when you get to year number 11 of a relationship, there'll be no more 69ing. Thank you. You see what I'm saying?

55:22 Drew Yes, Sir Walter Raleigh. Yes, yes. Thank you. That's right.

55:26 Adam Awesome, man. That's right. Thank you. We'll do a basically, yeah, I do a sort of a just a six where it's like all hold still, get busy. See what I'm saying? Who are we talking to, Suzanne? I would say though, for the 69, and I'm a traditionalist, I think the guy should be on his back.

55:54 Drew What are you guys doing for birth control? What?

55:57 Adam They're 69-ing.

55:58 Caller What are you doing for birth control? Condoms.

56:04 Drew Is that with a question mark at the end?

56:06 Adam Yeah.

56:06 Caller Sometimes condoms.

56:07 Drew Make sure you get that morning after pill. Keep that around too, just in case the condom should fail.

56:12 Adam Am I right, guy on the back at the 69?

56:15 Drew No opinion.

56:16 Caller Your honor.

56:17 Guest I'm visualizing it and it seems the easier way. It seems such a confusing thing to try and focus on what you're doing.

56:27 Drew No, no, no.

56:28 Adam Not into the 69.

56:29 Guest No, I understand, dude.

56:30 Adam No, I understand, but I'm just seeing, maybe you've seen movies.

56:34 Guest I've seen a few.

56:35 Adam Charcoal drawings. You've seen those Asian books.

56:39 Guest My first reaction would have been guy on top.

56:42 Adam Yeah, you think about that, but now think about what's...

56:44 Drew All right, I don't want to think about it anymore. Let's take another call.

56:47 Caller Suzanne, good luck with it though, you know.

56:49 Adam You be the chick for a change and lie down and let us show you why, the flaw in your logic, Drew.

56:57 Guest Okay, act it out.

56:59 Adam Pull your skirt up over your head and lie down. You gotta keep the show moving, it's all good sport.

57:09 Drew What's up, Laura?

57:10 Caller Short attention span.

57:11 Caller Hi, my question is actually for Dr. Drew.

57:14 Drew Yeah, what's up?

57:14 I've recently been getting like two yeast infections a month and I don't know why.

57:22 Adam No 69ing.

57:24 Drew Are you sexually active?

57:26 Yeah, but I make my boyfriend wash his hands and everything like that.

57:31 Drew Are you using condom?

57:32 Yeah, we are.

57:33 Drew Could this be just an allergic reaction to the latex?

57:36 I haven't had it before though with any of my other boyfriends.

57:39 Drew With condoms?

57:41 Yeah.

57:41 Drew Same brand of condom?

57:43 Same brand.

57:46 Drew Well, I'll tell you what, interestingly enough, I was just reading a list today of all the different things that can cause vaginitis or vaginal irritation. It includes things like toilet paper or perfumes. I mean, there's a list, like 35 things on it, of the kinds, almost anything can upset the environment in there and trigger the propensity for yeast infection. When you do get it, how are they treated?

58:10 I've just been using over-the-counter stuff.

58:13 Drew Some of it is not getting it completely cleared up because way back up around the cervix, the yeast can still kind of hide out and just slowly grow back.

58:21 Adam You should use the fogger, right?

58:23 Drew Well, the fogger comes in the form of a pill, called a diflucan.

58:27 Adam I think they should have a vaginal fogger, like they do for roaches, where you actually just pull the lid, you put the thing up there.

58:33 Drew You take the pill and you got to go out for the evening.

58:35 Adam You know your full winter's coming out of your ears. Yeah, all right, you take the diflucan.

58:41 Drew Diflucan, get it checked out, make sure it is in fact yeast and not some other kind of vaginal infection or inflammation, which is the other thing to do. And there you go, all right?

58:49 Caller All right, thank you.

58:50 Caller All right, good luck.

58:52 Adam Good times, right?

58:53 Guest Can you give that to a guy? Can a girl give a yeast infection?

58:56 Drew He can, he doesn't get an infection, but he can have enough.

59:00 Adam Can she give it to the guy?

59:01 Drew Yeah, she can cause him to carry it, but doesn't usually really give an infection. And so he can keep giving it back to her, but he's wearing a condom though, so that doesn't.

59:11 Adam I was a yeast mule for a while.

59:15 Guest What does that mean?

59:16 Caller Wow, he was a carrier.

59:17 Guest Did you use Destin-X, the foot spray?

59:20 Drew No, no, he was packing.

59:23 Adam I was mueling it. I'm like the guy who brings the heroin in from Mexico. I don't actually, I'm not a junkie. I just bring it in. I harbored some yeast. I did. I had to go to the Lesbian Free Clinic in Santa Monica.

59:37 Caller How'd you find out?

59:38 Drew So listen, the Lesbian Free Clinic?

59:41 Adam Little chafing on the Peckeroo, I remember, and uninsured. Had to hit the Santa Monica Lesbian Clinic and get the stink eye from the husky chicks over there.

59:52 Caller Heard they're real nice over there.

59:55 Adam They're delights. All the free clinics. Well listen, anytime you're dealing with the free stuff, they're angry, because you would be too. Like, what if someone said, look, why don't you come over and paint my house? We'll not be paying. How would your attitude be about the year three of you just painting guys' houses for free? You know what I mean? It'd be like, listen, you missed a spot. Yeah, I'm gonna stab you with this roller.

1:00:17 Drew That's my work.

1:00:18 Adam Yeah, well, all I'm saying is, look, of course your attitude's horrible. It's free. That's the exchange you make. I love these people, by the way, like, oh, we went down to County USC. We had to wait for six hours. Yeah, free, free. Things take longer when you don't pay. But people are not in such a hurry to help.

1:00:37 Caller It's like, you know, It's like my dental work.

1:00:40 Adam For free?

1:00:40 Caller You go to the, in Baltimore, there's a dental school where the students do the work on your teeth for free.

1:00:45 Adam Oh, really?

1:00:46 Caller They don't do that great work.

1:00:47 Adam No, they do the work.

1:00:49 Caller Needless to say.

1:00:51 Adam Yeah, it's like, why are the stores only open for two hours in Russia or the former Soviet Union, always out of stuff? Because no competition, no one's paying. That's what you get, everybody. Anyway, we had a little cream to rub on there. So it's good times. You just gotta keep it dry. Yes, Drew?

1:01:11 Drew Dry, yes, Adam.

1:01:12 Adam Dry.

1:01:12 Drew Anna.

1:01:13 Adam Yeah, I wanna speak to Ann.

1:01:14 Drew We will in a second, Anna. Hi. Look how long she's been on hold.

1:01:18 Adam 89 minutes?

1:01:20 Drew Give her a break.

1:01:22 Adam All right, what's up?

1:01:23 Caller Well, do like something out of whack with my endocrine gland.

1:01:28 Adam Hold on a second, hold on.

1:01:30 Drew Yeah, we got the voice going.

1:01:31 Adam Got the sexual abuse voice going.

1:01:33 Drew And not just the voice, but the affects, right? Didn't you feel it right away?

1:01:36 Adam I felt sexual abuse.

1:01:37 Drew What was wrong, she says? Something's wrong with her endocrine gland, which there is no such thing.

1:01:42 Adam There isn't? Jesus. You don't have an endocrine gland?

1:01:45 Drew You have an endocrine system.

1:01:47 Adam Oh. Glands not powering the system?

1:01:49 Caller What's an endocrine?

1:01:51 Drew Endocrine system.

1:01:52 Adam Hold on.

1:01:55 Caller We're all talking quiet.

1:01:56 Adam Anna? Were you ever sexually abused? Really?

1:02:00 Caller I'm just talking low because I'm living at home.

1:02:06 Adam Hold on, physically abused? Where's your dad?

1:02:11 Caller He's not, I haven't seen him since I was two.

1:02:14 Drew How come?

1:02:15 Caller I don't know, I don't question it.

1:02:18 Drew Well, wouldn't that be something you might be interested in, what was going on in your home around the time you were two and why your dad left, why you don't see him anymore? No, something probably pretty heavy happened.

1:02:32 Caller I really don't care.

1:02:34 Drew Well, you know what, you should because we're hearing, we're feeling that it's left some sort of imprint on you.

1:02:47 Adam Okay, go. What are most stories? What are most houses, four and five story houses? She's in a two story house. All right, okay, here's the deal. First off, Drew and I are, we're like Indians.

1:03:00 Caller I can't get out of the loveless.

1:03:01 Drew We're not wrong about this.

1:03:02 Adam I put my ear to the ground. I can tell you.

1:03:04 Drew Iron horses coming.

1:03:05 Adam How many iron horses, how many pale faces, how many horses, we just feel stuff off stuff. Now, it doesn't mean she was sexually abused.

1:03:14 Drew Not necessarily. But something happened.

1:03:16 Adam She's angry at dudes. Though.

1:03:20 Drew And sounds like talking to about an eight, nine year old.

1:03:23 Adam It does.

1:03:24 Drew She says. Her period started when her 10 and this is one of the questions we see on the screen here. And that sets early onset of menstrual flow. And at 10. Yeah. And that often is a sign of stress or abuse, neglect, things like. Orphans, when they came over, they start menstruating at nine. You know, they started really early.

1:03:42 Adam I mean, wow. Come on, Drew. Trying to lighten the mood a little. Anna?

1:03:48 Uh-huh.

1:03:50 Adam So I'm not done talking about your dad. Okay. Do you got a stepdad? Your mom never remarried? So she's just remained single for 18 years? How'd you like him? That was like 10 years ago. So they were together for a long period of time, enough to have two kids, right?

1:04:20 Drew But not married? What does your mom do for a living?

1:04:26 She's a medical lab technician. She's a lab technician.

1:04:33 Adam Lab tech, all right. And so she was with them. How long was this guy in the house?

1:04:41 Caller He never really, like, he lived back and forth.

1:04:44 Caller This is so not what I'm calling about.

1:04:48 Drew Listen, Anna, listen, we need to know about you. You want somehow an abstract question. You can't. We have to know about you and the circumstances in your life.

1:04:57 Adam Well, we don't have to, but we just get to talk about it.

1:05:00 Drew To accurately answer a question.

1:05:03 Adam Hold on a second. If I sat here and fielded every punk's question every night, I'd eat a bullet by the end of the week. I'd go insane. We just gotta go with what's interesting to us. Most of the time, it ends up helping me, kiddies, where they like it. Hell, I'm interested. Not always, but here's the whole thing with Anna. I just wanna say this. First off, she's glossed over the part where this guy came in, sired a couple of kids.

1:05:27 Drew She doesn't wanna talk about anything that's real and substantial in her life.

1:05:31 Adam Right, her dad split at two, which is, to me, it's one thing when you knock up some chick, you never know you got her pregnant, and you go back home to Arkansas. It's another thing when you hang out till two and split. That is traumatic.

1:05:45 Drew That means something.

1:05:45 Adam For a child, and it means there's possibly some blowout. And the fact you never see the kid again is horribly damaging to a two-year-old girl. And then another guy rolls in, has a couple of kids, and he splits.

1:05:56 Drew Yeah, and there's something more to that story, like they're going back and forth or something.

1:06:00 Adam All right, Anna. All right, you've not seen your biological dad or spoke to him since age two. And you have any idea what happened to him?

1:06:13 Drew And what were you saying was going on with the new fellow, that your mom was going back and forth with him?

1:06:19 Caller No, he's like, it's like almost like a boyfriend.

1:06:24 Caller Almost like a boyfriend.

1:06:31 Adam Okay, and he now.

1:06:32 Drew He lived with two kids, does he visit his kids? Does he visit his kids? Does he visit his kids? Was there any, so he's an ass, right? He's an idiot.

1:06:44 Caller You don't like him or?

1:06:45 Drew Well, she can't, did anybody leave two kids behind? And was he, was there anything else you want to tell us about him? Was he a bad guy?

1:06:58 Caller How was he to you?

1:06:59 He was perfectly fine.

1:07:02 Drew But he doesn't have any problem leaving two kids behind and not speaking to them?

1:07:10 Caller I'm not worried about that.

1:07:12 Caller That's, that's your life, though.

1:07:13 Drew That's your family, Anna, that's, you live with these people.

1:07:16 Adam That's your half brother and sister, so you live with, right?

1:07:22 Caller Yeah, but that's the guy that's been in your life.

1:07:24 Drew It's a divorce with a guy that completely abandons and marries into another family. That's heavy stuff. Yeah, but he, that's still, he, even being asked to leave, he would still be in his children's life.

1:07:39 Adam All right, and you have no idea why your original dad split. He just split. I didn't ask you whether you cared. I just asked you whether you knew why he left. All right, well, here's the thing. You're angry and you're freaked out at guys, for sure. It's gonna be a constant issue with you, Anna.

1:07:59 Drew Or if you don't feel freaked out at guys, you freak guys out. Yeah, it doesn't feel good to talk to you as a male.

1:08:06 Adam So.

1:08:07 Caller You sound pretty, but.

1:08:08 Adam You do sound freaked out.

1:08:09 Caller I'm just like being under inspection and everything.

1:08:13 Adam All right, here's the thing. Drew, do you have an answer for her period question?

1:08:19 Drew Your question is, why are they irregular? Why? That's saying nothing. That's just saying they're irregular. You haven't had a period in three years? Do you have an eating disorder?

1:08:42 Adam I'm going on five, by the way.

1:08:45 Drew Well, why haven't you had it? Listen, alligomenturia is not having a period in three years, or really amenorrhea, and that's not in a regular period. That's no period, and that's actually kind of something needs to be looked at very carefully by a gynecologist. This is not just what they call hypothalamic pituitary dysfunction, which is what you're alleging it is.

1:09:03 Adam You're a real doctor or just a love doctor?

1:09:04 Drew I'm just a love doctor.

1:09:05 Caller Have you seen like a doctor about that?

1:09:07 Drew No, just a gynecologist. So do you have a prolactinoma, a prolactinoma? You need to, or it's what it's called, you need to check this out.

1:09:27 Adam What a gynecologist, your mom's.

1:09:28 Caller It's weird, it's like if you've already gone and checked this out with the doctor.

1:09:30 Drew Why are they not following this through? You should be on the pill, you should be cycling, they should be doing something here for this.

1:09:36 Adam Your mom's got connections over at the hospital, right?

1:09:49 Drew I heard a smoke alarm off in the distance. I heard it. Did you? Yeah.

1:09:53 Adam Hey, Anna.

1:09:53 Drew Mm-hmm.

1:09:54 Adam Hold on a second. Have, don't move from where you are. Have you been walking around?

1:10:00 Drew Hold still.

1:10:00 Adam Why do we just hear a smoke detector beep go off? All right. All right, so listen, Anna.

1:10:09 Drew Mm-hmm.

1:10:10 Adam You have a boyfriend?

1:10:14 Drew Some damn thing. What? You see this, you don't think that's a, you don't think, oh, okay.

1:10:20 Adam Just say you have a boyfriend if you have a boyfriend. You have a boyfriend?

1:10:23 Drew Mm-hmm.

1:10:23 Adam How long have you been going out? Okay, or, and by the way.

1:10:28 Caller A month or two.

1:10:29 Adam It just, here's how I know, when I talk to a woman that is angry at men, I know because I want to strangle them. Because first off, they can never give you an answer. Everything they do serves to sort of piss you off. It's everything is a subtle, like, F you. Everyone's a man. Everyone who asks a question deserves a smart ass answer. Everything, it's like, yeah, boy, you can call him that. You know, how long have you been going out? Yeah, a month or two. By the way, the difference between a month and two is a hundred percent. They'll never make you feel satisfied. You'll always feel like you never quite got what you needed. It's like that order you get at the drive-thru and you get home and it's like, I didn't order the fish filet and I'm too lazy to drive back.

1:11:16 Drew To answer her question, she can get pregnant even though she's not cycling. Possibly though it's less likely. How old would you say she was? Just listen to her voice, listen to how old you think she was. Give me a guess.

1:11:25 Caller 17.

1:11:26 Drew Yeah, she sounds way younger than she actually is. That's worth saying.

1:11:29 Guest How old is she?

1:11:29 Drew She's 220.

1:11:30 Adam She's 20.

1:11:31 Guest I don't care at all, at all. She doesn't want to hear a solution. She sounds arrogant and it's just, I don't care at all.

1:11:36 Caller I care.

1:11:37 Adam But she's hurt and she's angry and whatever.

1:11:40 Caller I think you should go talk to somebody, man.

1:11:42 Adam Yeah, a little therapy.

1:11:43 Caller It won't hurt.

1:11:44 Adam And just sounds like she's two, about one pop split. All right, baby doll, get some therapy. Don't get pregnant, talk to your mom.

1:11:51 Drew Finish this endocrine workup because it does not make sense to me.

1:11:54 Adam All right, we'll take a little break. We'll be right back.

1:11:58 If you need help, hang up and then die, die.

1:12:00 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:12:27 Adam Hey everybody. This is Love Line of Adam that's Dr. Drew. Oh, right. Giggity, giggity, giggity. The Family Guy. Yeah. Yeah, Family Guy coming back on. Oh, I'm going to Seth MacFarlane's party on Saturday.

1:12:43 Drew I want to be a voice on that show. You've got to help me. That's one of my missions in life.

1:12:47 Caller Saturday's having a party?

1:12:48 Drew My kids will never, I'll be the hero in their eyes forever if I could be a voice on the Family Guy.

1:12:53 Guest Your kids watch Family Guy?

1:12:54 Caller I watch this show every day.

1:12:55 Adam Great show. Great show. And they ordered like 22 more episodes.

1:13:01 Caller That's awesome.

1:13:01 Adam Yeah.

1:13:02 Drew We'll put Seth up here. I'm asking him to come up here.

1:13:05 Caller What's your fat ass doing here? He's my only means of conveyance, but I guess I do spoil him.

1:13:11 Adam I do. We had a great Crank Yanker session with Seth.

1:13:19 Drew Oh really?

1:13:19 Adam Yeah, he was great on that for us. All right, well I'll see him Saturday. I'll kiss his ass.

1:13:25 Caller And tell him I said hi. I never got to call him back.

1:13:27 Adam I got to come back as the voice of death and Drew's got to come back on the show.

1:13:31 Drew Partner.

1:13:34 Adam You can be like my sickle.

1:13:36 Drew Yeah.

1:13:37 Caller Death's dog should talk.

1:13:39 Adam Death's dog does talk. Oh, my bad. Jimmy was Death's dog.

1:13:44 Drew He's too big for that now. I'll be Death's dog.

1:13:47 Adam I think the dog's a little too big for you though. We're gonna have to find someone in between you and Kimmel.

1:13:52 Drew I'll be a flea of a dog's butt.

1:13:54 Adam Yeah. Boy, it's hard to tell. You know, you think about my two partners. Hard to tell whether I'm a blessing or a curse. And on one hand, you got Kimmel. He's doing a fabulous late night network television. Now you got Drew over here. So which is it? Am I blessing or a curse? I mean, cause he just goes the farthest extremes, you know, career wise. I mean, like, what is it? Hard to tell. You know what I mean?

1:14:16 Drew I have to catch you loose.

1:14:20 Adam I don't see how you could fall any farther.

1:14:21 That's right.

1:14:22 Drew So I'm saying.

1:14:23 Adam Yeah, but then, yeah, you're right. Anne?

1:14:28 Hello?

1:14:29 Adam You want to, you want to be a vegan like John?

1:14:32 Yeah, actually, I went vegetarian a little while ago. Actually, because of Goldfinger, you know, they kind of opened my eyes about it and I read up some stuff and.

1:14:43 Adam Well, when you see Darren shoving a Twinkie up his ass, you do some soul searching. Yes. And that's the thing that the band has thought provoking. I mean, you see, you see Darren.

1:14:57 So, um, so now I'm thinking about going vegan. Now that I'm reading a little bit more about it, you know, watching the videos and all that stuff. But being a student, not being able to, you know, afford eating out at all these kind of places where they serve vegan type foods. How would I go about, like, picking, you know, vegan items from the grocery store, for example?

1:15:19 Guest Oh, it's so, it's so easy. I mean, you can just order soy latte at Starbucks. I mean, you can get a vegan burger at Burger King now. I mean, it's so easy.

1:15:29 Adam They got a veggie burger.

1:15:30 Guest It's vegan, yeah. If you get it without the mayonnaise or whatever, it's vegan, yeah.

1:15:35 Adam So are you vegan?

1:15:36 Guest I've been vegan for seven years, yeah.

1:15:38 Adam Seven years.

1:15:38 Guest Seven years.

1:15:39 Caller You should go to this guy's house.

1:15:40 Drew Do you have to take any extra vitamins?

1:15:43 Caller He eats like a king. I'm not kidding. Like, that's the reason. That's the reason I dropped pork, chicken and red meat. I still eat fish, so I'm a pescatarian, but because I watch the videos with the pigs and the chickens and the cows and how they're just really abuse these animals and they're so cruel to the animals that everyone eats. They don't think about it when they're getting chicken or beef, but when you watch these videos and you get educated. And I went to John's house and he has all this great food and it's, you know.

1:16:07 Adam Now, how is it a tough? Well first off, it's probably easier now than it ever was. 20 years ago, you were screwed, right? You're just having to eat weeds out of your yard.

1:16:17 Guest When I first started, it was it was more difficult. But now, I mean, you can go to like Ralph's and get there's like a whole kind of health food section.

1:16:24 Caller They don't have Ralph's on the East Coast.

1:16:26 Guest That's true.

1:16:27 Adam Stop and shop.

1:16:27 Guest Safeway Foodline and Giant.

1:16:30 Adam Food King. Well, my mom was a not a vegan, but a serious pioneer in the health fooder crap like back back in the 70s and stuff just tasted like like someone just spit out some cardboard in your bowl like the health food was not a science back then. And stuff just tasted like fried hell. I mean, like if when you're eating health food, you knew you're eating health food because a you would just chew it like cud for like 45 minutes. You never swallow. Just just sit there and chew. It's like chewing the tongue of where does she live? North Hollywood.

1:17:04 Guest Where does she live?

1:17:07 Drew She lives in Cerritos.

1:17:08 Adam Diane lives in Cerritos.

1:17:09 Guest Cerritos. There's so many great vegetarian restaurants in this area. So many. There's this place called Outlock down there. It's a really good Chinese place. It's awesome.

1:17:17 Adam All right. So the vegan now vegan. Can you wear leather shoes?

1:17:20 Guest I don't wear leather shoes. I don't eat any animal products.

1:17:24 Adam How about your car?

1:17:25 Guest My car has no leather. But you know, I mean, you can't be, you know, there's probably glue in the tires, I'm sure somewhere along the line.

1:17:31 Adam Well, here's the whole thing. And I'm glad to hear John striking a sensible note here, which is, I think in this society, people go a little bit crazy with the on or off, like game on, game off. Either you're full vegan and if you're full vegan, if you take a sip of coffee and has a little cream in it, you got to spit it out or you can't do anything. But that's unrealistic. I mean, like your automobile. OK, maybe you buy a used car and it's got leather, whatever. You don't have to rip it out.

1:17:56 Caller Just do what you can.

1:17:57 Adam If you do what you can, and if everyone just does what they can, whatever the cause is, we'd be a much better, better society. And like I said, maybe veganism isn't your thing, but I'm saying I think it's a BS thing that people do, like where they go like, I'm quitting this, you know, they're lighting one cigarette off the next cigarette they're talking about. I'm quitting on the first. I'm quitting on the New Year. And I'm like, why don't you just put that cigarette out that you're smoking? No, no, no, it's game on. It's game on until I start my diet, until I quit, until the first of the year, until the New Year's rezo. Nobody thinks in terms of moderation, A, because it's no fun, it's not glamorous. And B, because the diet or the quitting or the cold turkey, the way you can just keep pushing back. That's always in the future. And then when you go off, you're free to go sick.

1:18:47 Drew Well, unfortunately, the reason that that kind of date to stop, get started, is that for things that are really compulsive or addictive, that's what works. It does not work to cut back. You'll cut back up again. You'll taper down, you'll taper up.

1:19:01 Adam But it depends. I mean, look at you, Drew. Quite down. I know I'm cutting into Drew's business. He's rolling me the ice. But here's what I'm saying. You can be compulsive about food. You love food.

1:19:12 Drew But for me to stop?

1:19:13 Adam Quite. Now, you get a little momentum going.

1:19:16 Drew A lot of momentum.

1:19:17 Adam But you reel yourself, you catch yourself, you work out, you reel it back in. You understand? You push out again, you reel it back.

1:19:25 Drew And it doesn't do a goddamn thing. And it's not until...

1:19:27 Adam No, you look good.

1:19:27 Drew No, it's not until I spent... I did that for a year that I, you know, I was like one day on, one day off, one day on watching it. I gained 10 pounds across that year. Finally, one day went. I've had it with this, lost 15 pounds and then I was fine. Well, you look good.

1:19:41 Caller You look great.

1:19:44 Drew I had to detox from carbohydrates.

1:19:46 Adam He's a beautiful man. It's more than handsome.

1:19:47 Drew Stop it again.

1:19:49 Caller You guys can see him out there listening to the radio.

1:19:52 Drew I know you're...

1:19:52 Adam It transcends gender.

1:19:54 Drew He is what I'm saying.

1:19:55 Adam Male, female. He's beautiful.

1:19:56 Drew He's beautiful.

1:19:57 Adam He's getting his...

1:19:58 Drew He really wants to have a kid. And he's looking to me.

1:20:02 Adam I've got my clocks ticking, Drew.

1:20:03 Caller I don't know. I've heard of it.

1:20:05 Adam Here's all...

1:20:05 Caller For helping friends.

1:20:06 Adam Here's all I'm saying, Drew. You're not going off a diet. You don't have a diet. You haven't laid anything out. No, I did.

1:20:14 Drew I did when I finally lost weight.

1:20:15 Adam Not now you don't.

1:20:16 Drew Yes.

1:20:17 Adam You were eating beer nuts last night.

1:20:19 Drew Because last night I stopped.

1:20:21 Caller I'm with Adam. I do... You know, that's my whole thing is I do what I can. I don't... I didn't stop eating meat totally. I eat fish. You know what I mean? But I saw all the videos and it moved me enough to want to help and do what I could and I can give up red meat, chicken, pork and even if someone's just out there and they give up pork or they give up chicken or they give up what they can, it's helping in some little way. And you know, that's...

1:20:42 Drew Your point is well taken, by the way.

1:20:44 Guest But you know, it is hard because you're talking about the extremist kind of mentality and it is hard for me who, you know, I'm signing stuff and I've made this video of all the Slaughterhouse footage to this acoustic song I've written was what she's talking about the stuff she's seen and I'm signing stuff and there's this big security guard guarding me and he's like, well, do you eat honey? And I'm like, well, I don't eat honey, but I'm not going to judge you if you do. And he's like, bees are bugs, man. You know, and this guy's telling me that. And I'm like, and I'm trying to say, okay, there's veal and fur and then there's bees, you know, and how do I kind of go in the middle and say, I mean, like, he's right, like, pigs are as intelligent as my dog or a five-year-old child from what I've read. So why are you going to, you know, slice some pigs' neck open and pay someone to do that? And I think it's great if someone says, I'm just going to quit eating pigs. I mean, that's a great start. And this Tansy's Girls question, I mean, there's silk is everywhere. You can find silk, soymilk anywhere and Boca burgers are everywhere. You can get a Johnny Rockets, a VV Burger there.

1:21:37 Caller I mean, anything you do, when you're out there, like, buying your toothpaste, just look at the back and find something that says cruelty free. It's everywhere. Your shampoo, stuff like that. Just make those little steps and you're helping out, you know.

1:21:47 Adam Drew actually buys his stuff with extra cruelty. I didn't want to admit that, Drew, I know it's uncomfortable for you, but.

1:21:52 Drew I'm so ashamed. Adam, I told you not to mention that tonight.

1:21:55 Adam It's a penny cheaper and he says if a thousand baby lambs have to die so I can save one penny on my conditioner, I'll do it. He said that many times to me in confidence and then said, please don't mention it on the air.

1:22:07 Drew We're through.

1:22:09 Adam Oh, but let me ask a question. This is a tough one for John. What about stuff like termites? Like you want to have your house tented, you know what I mean?

1:22:15 Guest Yeah, it's tough. I mean, like, what about ants? They're a big problem here, right? So, ants hate coffee. They hate coffee beans. So, that's what I did. I just had some ground coffee, put it in the line and they were gone.

1:22:27 Drew You know, there are Hindus that sweep in front of them, lest they, and what do you do about the paramecium and the bacteria live on your skin that die in the shower? I love the bugs.

1:22:37 Guest I mean, but that was the whole question was, well, you could kill one cow and feed all these family, but you're going to kill all these bugs in order to feed or plants or what? It's all that kind of stuff. I just tried to get in it at do what you can, guys.

1:22:50 Drew Here's the animal kingdom life. One huge restaurant.

1:22:53 Adam Yeah.

1:22:54 Drew So it's a giant restaurant.

1:22:55 Adam But termites we can get rid of, right?

1:22:57 Guest I'm not going there with you, but.

1:23:00 Adam But what if they're eating your house as we speak?

1:23:02 Caller The other day I accidentally killed a spider. I felt kind of bad about it. I just wanted to come clean.

1:23:06 Guest Oh, really?

1:23:07 Caller It was at my house and I meant to kick it a little out the door and I accidentally stomped it.

1:23:11 Adam Yeah. You know, it's tough. I do that with spiders too. You try to be sort of humane. In the process, you knock off three legs and they run.

1:23:19 Caller It's like you're running.

1:23:20 Adam Now the things like going in a weird circle and the legs are still sitting there and you thought it's a nice humane move. I just did you. You just ripped three legs. And now the humane thing would be to actually step on it now because you're like a couple legs off.

1:23:32 Caller Do what you can, kids.

1:23:33 Adam Do what you can. That's the point. Do what you can every day. Where are we, Drew? Lesbo question.

1:23:39 Drew It's always been your motto, Adam.

1:23:41 Adam I do what I can.

1:23:42 Caller When you're at 7-Eleven, do you drop your change in the local charity little thing that's in the counter?

1:23:47 Adam Yeah. Oh, I do. I told the guy at the liquor store and I'd say I gave him three bucks. I do that. Although I'll tell you the guy, I don't tip the guy.

1:23:54 Caller No, I mean the one with the picture of the kid on the jar and they're raising it for like some local kid. You know how it is every 7-Eleven.

1:23:59 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:23:59 Caller Good.

1:23:59 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:24:00 Caller Should do that.

1:24:00 Adam Do what I can. I'll tell you what I do.

1:24:03 Drew He's literally a millionaire.

1:24:05 Adam Literally. Literally a millionaire. The only guy I'm not as generous to as I should be is the guy at the strip club who works at the bathroom. You know, the guy with the mints and the.

1:24:15 Guest Spraying you down with some cologne.

1:24:17 Adam Spraying me down with a little Axe. Give the groin a little shot.

1:24:21 Caller Do you try to like make awkward small talk so you can kind of slide out of the bathroom?

1:24:25 Adam So it's always weird because, you know, when you go to wash your hands, once he hands you that towel, you're in.

1:24:32 Caller His hand is in your pocket.

1:24:33 Adam That's five bucks. That's right. Forget that I've wasted one hundred and seventy five bucks out there worth the 20s, no problem. But this guy, I don't want to pay him.

1:24:41 Drew It's great.

1:24:42 Guest You don't go to strip clubs anymore now that you're married.

1:24:44 Drew Oh, no, not him. No, not anymore.

1:24:47 Adam Not zero. Not now.

1:24:48 Guest Lucky woman.

1:24:49 Adam Never.

1:24:49 Drew Can't judge. Can't judge.

1:24:51 Adam But I don't. But if I do, I go for you guys.

1:24:53 Guest But how do you how do you how do you not judge?

1:24:56 Adam You can't judge.

1:24:57 Guest You have to judge. How are you going to know who's the losers or the winners if you don't judge the losers?

1:25:02 Drew How dare you, John? Oh, my goodness.

1:25:03 Guest I'm not judging Adam, but right now.

1:25:06 Adam Let's take a break.

1:25:08 Drew OK.

1:25:08 Adam It's not a break to judge. It's just a break.

1:25:11 Drew OK.

1:25:12 Adam We'll be right back after this. Loveline.

1:25:17 My hair, my hair.

1:25:18 Adam We'll be right back. Forget about that phone number. Let's see, Bert McCracken from The Uses is out of here. Joel's here from Good Charlotte. John is here from Goldfinger. All right. Shavo just called in from System of a Down. And Shavo, talking to Shavo is like talking to my, when I talk to my mom and I go, oh, hold on. Yeah, I got a call on the other line and she goes, all right, anyway, your sister will be coming by. She's bringing the kids. I'm going to make some potato salad. It's like, I'm talking to Shavo, he's rolling, you know? And I said, 20 seconds, okay, I got to do the show. Yeah, anyway, so here's the deal with, I said to Shavo, show start. He was still talking when I handed the phone to Chris. Yeah, what's up, Shavo?

1:26:24 Drew Shavo did an infamous, nefarious Corolla imitation last week.

1:26:29 Adam That's what I heard when I was in New York. All right, well, he wanted to make sure and tell me because Drew did not. Are we gonna hear a Goldfinger song?

1:26:38 Drew Let's do it.

1:26:39 Adam Was that it? Drew.

1:26:40 Caller I'd like to, I'd like to.

1:26:42 Adam Drew's like, oh my God, I don't have to do radio for three minutes and 15 seconds, let's do it. Hey, I'm gonna hear a new cut off the Charles Manson record. Oh, great, Charles Manson. Great, he released a song from Prison. Great, hey, get out of radio, Drew.

1:26:57 Drew Yeah, excellent, all right.

1:26:59 Adam This is a little something from our good friends known as Goldfinger, and this one is called Open Your Eyes. John in here tonight. Off a...

1:29:58 Guest Bird actually sang on that song.

1:29:59 Adam Goldfinger in America's Dunlop.

1:30:01 Caller You guys did our last tour.

1:30:02 Adam We did.

1:30:03 Caller It was great.

1:30:04 Adam Yeah, it's nice to see the resurrection of Goldfinger. People were worried. People thought that...

1:30:13 Caller Not me.

1:30:14 Adam Darren was gonna run out of Twinkie money.

1:30:16 Caller Yeah, that was awesome, Darren and the Twinkie thing.

1:30:21 Guest You wouldn't even let us do that, Joel, on your tour. Because your fans are so young.

1:30:24 Caller We got... Goldfinger comes to the tour, right? And they're one of my favorite bands of all time. So we get them on.

1:30:29 Adam Sure, because you remember when you were in grade school.

1:30:31 Caller When I was in 10th grade, I went to see and play and I used to go to all the shows. And we get them to come on our tour. It's our last tour for the Young and the Hopeless before we had a little break and do this record. And we're like, a lot of our fans, our fans range anywhere from 8 to 28. But there's a lot of little kids there, their first show ever, they're all excited.

1:30:53 Adam Sure.

1:30:54 Caller Mom, thanks for giving me tickets.

1:30:55 Adam I, by the way, cannot wait for the day that one of those eight year olds goes up to Joel and says, when I was in the third grade, I saw you. And he's like smoking, now he's got a goatee. And Joel feels really old. You know what I mean? I saw you, my dad took me. Yeah, anyway, I rode my big wheel through the mosh pit. Anyway, I got the El Camino with the big block out there.

1:31:22 Caller It's already happened. There's kids that are like 24 now. And they were listening to us when they were like 19.

1:31:28 Adam Yeah, but wait, wait.

1:31:31 Caller 21, they're drinking now.

1:31:32 Adam You need the 11 to 19. That's the one you need. But anyway, you didn't want Darren putting the Twinkie in his rectal chute.

1:31:40 Guest How much damage could that really do to an eight year old seeing a man's hairy?

1:31:44 Caller You know, they said they could do whatever they want.

1:31:47 Drew I was just like, man, I just was worried, you know, about I mean, I'm getting post-traumatic stress reaction just from thinking about this fully formed and nicely formed adult.

1:31:58 Caller Don't do it when my mom comes. When my mom comes, when we play Baltimore, when my mom comes, just don't do the Twinkie in the ass thing or the corn dog in the ass, the vegan corn dogs in the ass, right, because it's so true, but it sounds so funny when you say it. And the other day, right, I went to a tea ball game the other day, right? My friend's kids playing tea ball. Now I went to the game and I took the Twinkies.

1:32:19 Adam Darren put the tea up his ass?

1:32:20 Caller I took, no, I took Twinkies and Capri Sun and I'm with my friend, right? And my friend goes, I can't think about Twinkies ever the same again, ever since I saw Darren put a Twinkie in his ass. And we're giving the kids Twinkies, they're all eating Twinkies and I'm thinking about it in this guy's ass and it really sucked.

1:32:34 Drew That's good times, huh?

1:32:35 Adam No, I know. That's why I told Darren never, ever put red wine or porn in your ass because if you ruin that for me.

1:32:46 Drew Oh yeah.

1:32:47 Caller But he didn't do it in Baltimore and I was happy he didn't do it in Baltimore.

1:32:50 Adam He's got a lot of what we call.

1:32:51 Caller My mom didn't get shocked.

1:32:52 Adam We call that decorum.

1:32:53 Caller My mom's old school, she would have flipped.

1:32:55 Adam Yeah, no, he sees a class act all the way.

1:32:57 Caller My mom, she yells at me about bands that open for us if they cuss or they, she yells at me, she comes to me and goes, why did you, you should. And I'm like, mom, they can do whatever they want. I'm not telling these people what to do. And then she, you know, argues with me for an hour. And yeah.

1:33:10 Adam Well, we got to take a little break. Shama's going to be calling again from the talk through the commercial. Joel here, John here. Quick break.

1:33:19 Drew Be right back.

1:33:21 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

1:33:22 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:33:26 Guest One call is all you need to make.

1:33:27 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:28 Drew 877-889-DATE. Call the Dateline.

1:33:57 Adam Hey everybody, well that's the show. Just call on here for 40 minutes, wanna know if I boxed competitively. Never a pro, just golden gloves.

1:34:05 Drew Oh, right.

1:34:05 Adam If anyone wants to know. Oh, yeah.

1:34:08 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:34:10 Adam God bless you, wherever Bert is. Again, I guess he's at the spa.

1:34:15 Caller I love you, Bert.

1:34:15 Adam Probably gonna cuticle push.

1:34:17 Caller I love you, Bert.

1:34:19 Adam From the U's, God bless you. Joel, Good Charlotte, fantastic. Listen, when the new album comes out.

1:34:25 Caller Love you, guys.

1:34:25 Adam Pow, loving you, John.

1:34:27 Caller Thanks.

1:34:28 Adam Goldfinger. What can you say about Goldfinger that we haven't said over the years?

1:34:31 Drew When the concert is?

1:34:32 Adam Dear Dear Friends. Yes, Sunday and it's at the Oak Canyon Ranch in Irvine. You go to www.concertforcompassion.com. And it's a thousand bands and it's 20 bucks. It's really less than a penny a band. All right, I wanna thank engineer Chris for doing a wonderful job over here.

1:34:51 Drew We got no music.

1:34:53 Adam I wanna thank.

1:34:53 Drew What the deuce?

1:34:55 Adam All right, come on. Please.

1:34:57 Caller Dad, it's great. I haven't seen you in like six years. I love you, dad.

1:35:00 Adam Whatever. He's all cracking himself up. Producer Ann Junior, Junior, Producer Lauren, phone screener Brian, the Magic Finger One, engineer Anderson and Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying. Mahalo.

1:35:17 Caller Sometimes, condoms.

1:35:22 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

1:36:14 Caller Get it on.

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Thursday, March 25, 2004