Episode 1000602435098

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:04 Adam Adam, well, look who's graced us with his appearance tonight. Whoa, to what do we owe this honor, Mr. Pinsky? Dr. Drew, everybody, in the hissy. Phone number, 1-800-LOBE-191. Dr. Drew, still boardified, boardified, still certified. He's boardified, he's certified, and he's addictionified. All right, what's going on? What do you need there, Drew?

1:30 Drew I need that.

1:31 Adam Well, Drew, all the prep time you give yourself. Drew, what were you doing? You're caught up playing those video games?

1:37 Drew Absolutely.

1:38 Adam What were you playing?

1:38 Drew I don't know what it's called.

1:41 Adam Let me, okay, let me say this about life. Here's basically life in a nutshell.

1:46 Drew I'm listening.

1:47 Adam You spend your entire childhood just dying. Like here's how I spent the ages 11 to 19, standing by a pinball machine in a 7-Eleven, watching a guy play it and saying, could I take this ball? Could I just have one ball?

2:03 Drew Could you also play one ball? Can I eat some of that?

2:05 Adam Yeah, bumming, bumming stuff. But just standing, just one ball. Could I play one ball? Could I have one? You got 16 games on there. You just matched. One ball, one ball. Okay, that's how you spend the beginning part of your life. Second part of my life has been living amongst free video games and walking right past it.

2:24 Drew Yeah, it's not one of them. That is human behavior, right?

2:29 Adam Yes.

2:29 Drew If somebody else wants it, I want it. If somebody else is interested, I'm not.

2:33 Adam Let me explain something. Over at Kimmel's place, the writers meeting downstairs, in the same room we're in, which is in the green room, there are 25 video games, top-notch. Walk right past them, run past them every day. And here, I have two jobs. They're both filled with free video games. I've not played 10 seconds of one of them.

2:54 Drew Nice.

2:54 Adam Because they're free. I gotta get back to that 7-Eleven in North Hollywood and just stand there by Chris Maiselow going, can I play one ball? Can I play one ball?

3:02 Drew Did he ever let you play?

3:03 Adam Can I have a bite of that? Can I play one ball?

3:05 Drew Do you want that drink?

3:07 Adam How about I play half a ball and just take a small bite out of that soft taco? How's that thing? You gonna eat that?

3:12 Drew Did he ever let you play? No, no.

3:14 Adam You know what you get a lot of? See with your eyes, not in your hands. You get a lot of that when all the kids had those little electronic football games. Me, me, when they were sitting in junior high. They'd bring them to school. And by the way, you know, they talk about bringing stuff to school like, hey, no gang colors and no, you know, girls shouldn't be wearing the tube tops and you know, don't bring any weapons to school and all that. How about just bringing crap that other kids don't have that freaks them out? Really lets you know how poor and miserable your life is. You know, there's nothing worse than some kid who was sitting there. I think it was like the first video game ever. The first portable video game is that electronic football. And it must have cost 28, 30 bucks back in the day. And that was basically 125 bucks. And only the kids that had a few bucks had those games. And they would just sit there during lunch and nutrition, and everyone else would just sit there staring at them. Could just one, could it just try, could I touch it? Could it just touch that? Could it touch it?

4:13 Drew No, no. Didn't Ray walk up and just take it?

4:15 Adam Can I see that? See with your eyes, not your hands. Oh yeah. And then that same kid would be the first kid to get the moped when he was 14 and a half. Hey, could I try the moped? No. Hey, could I just see it? No. Hey, how about I just sit on it? It's not even running. No. Can't. Dad said no. It's like, oh yeah. You shouldn't be able to bring that crap. I don't know. I don't know what. I don't want to be.

4:37 Drew Who are these kids? Didn't know North Hollywood created that crop.

4:40 Adam That was, there was a handful of kids from the Hills and a couple of bucks and they brought their stuff in. Just sit there. Soothe your eyes. Yeah. Let's move forward, Drew. Hey Drew, by the way.

4:53 Drew Yeah.

4:53 That game you're playing, it's called Centipede.

4:56 Drew And I see. And the reason I was playing it is to try to wipe you off the screen.

5:00 Yeah.

5:01 Drew Your high score is very elusive, my friend. No, but I've gotten you now off the screen completely.

5:04 You're a dick.

5:05 Adam I'm not allowed to say that. Anderson is on, Anderson's got the high score?

5:09 Drew No, he has some of them and I was taking them off.

5:11 Adam I thought they weren't letting Anderson in the building.

5:13 Drew Yeah, they let him in. They thought he was just some kid playing. It was funny because I'm like, who is this Dre character that keeps showing up every day I go in there as you're hiring him?

5:21 Adam Dr. Dre. We did, later on in life, we did have a centipede game in my kitchen of my first apartment in North Hollywood that my buddy, the Wheeze, commandeered. And you had to pay to play it. And then once every about four months, we'd open up the change bucket and there'd be like 86 bucks worth of quarters in there. And we would go out and buy weed and food and go see movies. And ironically go to video arcades. We were 20, 22, 23. Yeah. Warren?

5:53 Yeah.

5:54 Adam You're 17?

5:55 Caller Yeah.

5:56 Adam What's up?

5:58 Caller Hey, you guys, great show. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing else on the radio.

6:03 Adam Thanks.

6:03 Caller Yeah, Frank Anchor.

6:05 Drew No, he means there's actually nothing on the radio where he lets us in.

6:07 Adam Oh, I see. Oh yeah, hey, wait a minute. You brought up Crank Yankers. I forgot about that. Tonight, 10.30 Comedy Central, everybody.

6:13 Caller Yeah, great show, great show. And Dr. Drew, I'm planning on going out and getting your book as soon as I can scrounge up some cash.

6:19 Drew It's coming out in paperback. It's gonna be less expensive to come out and feel guilty about it. It's gonna come out in paperback in the fall.

6:24 Adam How much is it now?

6:24 Drew It's like 18 bucks or something.

6:26 Nah, come on, buddy.

6:27 Drew Maybe you're a boy.

6:28 Adam Yeah, literally.

6:34 Caller Adam, I saw something you might like. It was at, I started school. It's like a little handout someone put up on the wall. It said smokers only inhale 10% of the smoke. The other 90% becomes secondhand.

6:50 Adam Yeah, no.

6:51 Drew Therefore, of every cigarette you smoke nine times what the guy actually hit the other cigarette.

6:57 Adam Secondhand smoke, first rate killer. Drew, you see thousands of patients come to you.

7:01 Drew Every day.

7:02 Adam Every day. Every day. Well, it's greatest killer.

7:04 Caller All right.

7:05 Adam What's up there, Warren?

7:07 Caller I have a question for Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, like, I don't know, a couple of months ago you made reference to a study that had said that uncircumcised guys were more likely to contract certain STDs. Right, yeah.

7:21 Adam You're more susceptible to secondhand smoke too.

7:26 Caller I just was wondering if there, I want some more information about that because I am uncircumcised and whether there's been any more research about that.

7:33 Adam That's no big deal. Are you a virgin?

7:36 Caller Yes, I am.

7:37 Adam Shocking. Couldn't you hear it in his voice? Warren is 17 and we'll talk to 13 year olds that'll be like, hey, what's up?

7:51 And yeah, pretty bummed out. Gotta blow out of my pigwheel today. Hey, watch a little SpongeBob, nailing this chick in the fourth grade. She's pretty hot, she's mulatto.

8:14 Drew Nice.

8:15 Getting the t-shirt, too.

8:16 Adam Well, you know, but you know the guy I'm talking to. Drew, what are you looking for?

8:19 Drew I'm looking for the specific article he wants.

8:21 Adam What were you looking for 10 minutes before his thing?

8:23 Drew Well, I got this one. I thought that would be enough.

8:25 Adam Oh, you read the screen?

8:26 Drew Yeah.

8:26 Adam Drew, how many times have I warned you about reading the screen?

8:29 Drew Here it is. Okay, ready, Warren.

8:32 Adam Warren was ready 20 minutes ago.

8:34 Drew The article is from the April 11th, 2002 New England Journal of Medicine. Okay, you can look it up there. I'm sure you can get it probably on the web and that'll sort of send you around other stuff too. There's pretty good evidence that it's a good idea.

8:48 Adam Okay, well hold on a second. Drew has nine boys and he got them all circumcised twice. So he's very pro circumcision. The reality is is Drew likes to make the point which is, well, there's no cases of penile cancer amongst people that are circumcised and there's almost none amongst those who aren't. It's marginal, it's up. Look, Warren over here is a virgin.

9:14 Drew Yeah, that's more important.

9:15 Adam He's got bigger fish to fry than his prepuce. He ain't gonna get any diseases because he's never dipped his wick in any wax.

9:20 Drew The good thing is he's convinced the prepuce is cursing him, preventing him from getting...

9:26 Adam No, you know what Warren is like with the venereal diseases? He's like the guy who goes out, gets the Ferrari jacket, starts out, gets the Ferrari key chain. Meanwhile, he makes 28 grand a year. It's like, he cleans out the garage, makes a space for it, talks a lot about it. You ain't getting one, can't afford it.

9:45 Drew Let me just quote something from this article. If we assume that 25% of men around the world are circumcised, then the genital adoption of circumcision might lead to a further reduction in the incidence of cancer of the cervix of 23 to 43%. Circumcision also tends to reduce the risk of penile cancer, HIV, and perhaps other urogenital infections. The practice should be considered public health benefits.

10:05 Adam What, all right. But what about, what about the-

10:07 Drew The New England Journal of Medicine.

10:08 Adam What about the fact that most of these countries where they don't circumcise are just filthy, backward dumps where disease runs wild in the streets.

10:17 Drew There you go, except for that. But yeah, but still, yeah, but still.

10:20 Adam All right. Mercedes? You're, you're 16? You're Mexican? No. But Porsche, you know, I've known a few Porsche chicks and a few Mercedes. Porsche, Porsche and a Mercedes.

10:37 Drew Porsche's a little different. Porsche is a PRTIA, Porsche.

10:40 Adam Really? Is that how they spell it?

10:42 Drew Merchant of Ventus, she was the-

10:44 Adam Ventus?

10:45 Drew Ventus, I beg your pardon.

10:46 Adam All right, see? You mispronounce things yourself, hotshot. Porsche was in the Merchant of Ventus?

10:51 Drew Famous Shakespeare character.

10:53 Adam Listen, I wasn't fagging off with my best thespian buddies doing pippin in high school. I was on a football team. Go ahead, Mercedes.

11:01 Drew I was doing both. Sometimes at the same time.

11:05 Caller Let's see, me and my boyfriend broke up about a month ago. We were together for about five months. And recently I've been kind of wanting to get involved with somebody else. But I've been kind of having second thoughts. Like, I'm not sure if I'm doing it to just try and get over him or-

11:28 Drew She lives in a haunted house?

11:29 Adam Yep. Was that the door?

11:32 Caller Yeah, sorry.

11:33 Wow.

11:35 Adam Go ahead and put a little WD-40 on that hinge.

11:38 Drew Let's hear that again.

11:41 Caller You want me to do it again?

11:44 Drew Novelty squeak.

11:53 Adam Wow, wow, it's like a violin screeching. Is that the door to your room? People are like animals. Hold on a second. That would drive an iguana crazy. You know what I mean?

12:07 Drew It should, anyway.

12:08 Adam A turtle, that would drive a turtle crazy. Things with almost no brain, just barely a spine, that would drive insane. I just, I-

12:18 Drew It's a selenterator, a jellyfish would go there.

12:21 Adam Yes, yes. I cannot believe that this, that kind of stuff didn't just, that's been going on for 16 years.

12:28 Drew By the way, I drove past your house today.

12:29 Adam Looking good.

12:30 Drew Castle.

12:31 Adam Thank you.

12:31 Drew Peripede.

12:32 Adam Mercedes? All right, let's get a little oil on that hinge. What's going on? You're interested in a guy?

12:40 Drew No, she just broke up thinking about dating other guys, but not really. I don't understand. You've broken up, so it's time to- Yeah.

12:47 Caller Well, I was gonna, I'm not sure if I'm looking for someone else to try and make myself go over him faster.

12:55 Drew How long ago did you break up?

12:56 Caller About a month.

12:58 Adam Let's get back to the hinge. I want you to open the door back and forth real fast, like five times. You ready? Go for that. It's more exciting than the quick.

13:07 Drew Sounds like a dentist drill. Right?

13:10 Adam I know.

13:10 Drew Right, it's like getting into your head. That's great.

13:13 Adam It's a nice early warning system. Stepdad can't come lurking into the room at four in the morning drunk to get a handful of cysts. Jesus Christ. Okay. She broke up with the guy.

13:29 Drew It's been a month. She's feeling ambivalent. That's fine. Go ahead and have a social life. You're allowed. You're worth it. It's fine. We release you.

13:36 Adam Yes.

13:37 Drew Don't think that by being, here's the ultimate, only thing you can do is take care of yourself. And if this guy sees that and becomes jealous and wants to have you back for some reason, well, whatever. But if you sit and brood about him, he ain't coming back.

13:48 Adam And don't, here's what everyone needs to do. Stop questioning yourself so much about a lot of things and then start questioning yourself a little more about other things.

13:56 Caller Yeah.

13:58 Adam Just want to shift it. People pick on themselves too much for certain things. And then for other things, they ask some questions. Brandon?

14:06 Yes.

14:07 Adam You're 23? You're virgin?

14:12 Caller No, but kind of, I guess you call it born again.

14:15 Adam Born again?

14:16 Drew Re-virgin.

14:17 Caller Re-virgin.

14:17 Adam I was wondering, because it says he's a firefighter.

14:20 Drew No firefighter virgins.

14:21 Adam They don't let you into the academy unless you've gotten your hose wet.

14:27 Caller Yeah.

14:28 Adam All right, so you had some fun and now you found Jesus Christ.

14:33 Caller All right.

14:34 Adam So now you're a virgin again.

14:36 Caller Yeah, well.

14:37 Adam All right. That's good. I'm going to do that. You are? Yeah, I'm going to make that move. So what's up, Brandon?

14:45 Caller Fire station, you know, it's the last place to be a born again version. So I live with a bunch of other guys. And so recently I started having kind of like a discharge when you go to bathroom in the morning. And it kind of looks like you're, you know, kind of like an ejaculation or something.

15:03 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

15:04 Caller And you know, it's been a while since I've seen one of those. So.

15:09 Drew So you don't masturbate either?

15:10 Caller Um, if I messed up, but it's been a couple of months since I messed up.

15:16 Adam Yeah.

15:16 Drew Who, who, what, what?

15:17 Adam A couple of months. By the way, who'd?

15:20 Drew Well, that's just, it's just pouring coming out of you now. It's just, it's, you'll have night emissions.

15:24 Adam Yeah.

15:24 Drew You can leak. It's just, that's you. You're not taking care of yourself. One.

15:30 Adam Yeah. One good turn down that pole. And.

15:33 Drew Pow.

15:34 Adam Pow. You know, how it drags it, you know, it drags, sure.

15:37 Drew But you'll have nocturnal emissions. And if they have, if you have them in the early morning, then when you first urinate, you'll get stuff out. And then some people just sort of overflow. They sort of stuff kind of comes out.

15:45 Adam Yeah. That's true. As a man of supreme passion.

15:48 Drew Oh, there's a good, I did a CNN thing today. A great study came out showing, you're gonna love this. Look at functional MRI scans on men and women, right? They take women, men, men, they show them pictures of people having sex. Lights up in very similar patterns. Both report arousal, except one difference. Men, the amygdala, which is sort of the novelty monitoring center, lights up like a starboard.

16:09 Adam What do you mean the novelty monitoring center?

16:12 Drew It's sort of the area, it monitors for appetites, it monitors for drive, it monitors for novelty. And it throws the information back to the hypothalamus and triggers basically hunger. So you see the image, it goes novel, unique, I like it, trigger the sexual drive centers. So when you visualize something, you get the activation of a hunger. And it's also, it's monitoring for novelty and difference. So it's also taking into account parts of the body, you know, parts of women, their face and this and that.

16:39 Adam Right. So women are excited by the sex, but the guys are sort of drawn to it in a visceral way.

16:47 Drew Visceral hunger. They actually have an appetite response. Women, no such thing.

16:52 Adam So would you say, well, let's just stick with food for a second. Is it, might it be the difference between looking at a picture of food in a gourmet magazine and then having the plate slide and the smells and the heat and you're hungry and you've picked up a fork kind of thing.

17:10 Drew And you were hungry to begin with and just activates.

17:13 Adam Right.

17:13 Drew That's it.

17:15 Adam Amen.

17:16 Drew Women don't have that.

17:16 Adam Drew, an incredible appetite. A Dom DeLuis size appetite and a passionate, passionate, passionate man. And he will strap on that lobster bib of love and absolutely go to town at the Hometown Buffet.

17:40 Drew What's interesting also is people go, oh, you know, you can never tell whether that's a learned behavior. The men learn to look visually. And guess what? Male rodents, same thing.

17:49 Caller Well, they learned it from the internet.

17:51 Drew Well, it's the rodent social life. It's like, oh, come on.

17:54 Adam Here's all you need to know. Here's who does the raping. Men, men rape, women don't. And think about, and everyone-

18:03 Drew Violent crime.

18:04 Adam That's an act of violence.

18:05 Drew Not a sexual act, not a sexual act.

18:06 Adam It's not a sexual act.

18:07 Drew How could you have dared you?

18:09 Adam Understand this. Rape is not a sexual crime. It is an act of violence. It is a violent crime, except for you come. Other than that, it is no different than armed robbery. If you came or pistol whipping an elderly woman in stealing her handbag and running. If you came, again, if you came, vehicular manslaughter. If again, you have an ejaculation. It's the same. It's a violent crime. It's not an act of sex. It's not a sexual crime.

18:49 Drew Oh, how dare you?

18:50 Adam But you do come. But it's no different than any other violent crime, is what I'm saying.

18:58 Drew Of course.

18:59 Adam Any stabbing where you come, any shooting where you come, any bludgeoning where there's a semen emission. It's no different than any of those except for you orgasm. Listen. Course guy, we invented rape. Chicks would be raping. That's that part of your brain that you're saying that hunger part. That's the rape part.

19:19 Drew Yes, that's the guy that'll kill you for food if you were hungry, too.

19:22 Adam Yeah. No, I'm not saying it's a good thing, but let's just call it what it is. And by the way, instead of sort of running from the information, why don't we share it? So your teenage girl, when she goes out on a date with a guy, and he has a couple of beers, and says, well, look, I'm only gonna go to third base with a guy, and then I'm gonna stop. No, no, no. Let this guy know that when you're parked in his El Camino up by the lake, and you flip that switch on him, you might not be able to shut that switch off.

19:55 Drew Yes, that's it, period.

19:57 Adam Let's stop pretending.

19:57 Drew Yes.

20:00 Adam Violent crime, right, not an act of sex. But. But you come, you do come, yes. Sarah? 21? What's happening, baby doll?

20:16 Well, about two years ago, I was sexually assaulted by my supervisor. I'm in the military.

20:24 Adam No, that's not a sexual assault. It was a violent assault.

20:28 Not exactly. He wasn't really violent with me, but I mean.

20:33 Adam Sex is violence. It's the same thing.

20:36 Drew Well, what'd men do?

20:37 Adam Yeah, when you go home and have intercourse, right?

20:39 Drew That's fine. Same thing, I get confused.

20:41 Adam All right, so he sexually assaulted you.

20:44 And I'm wondering if maybe it was my fault because at one point in time, I was just thinking, you know, if I just go through with it and get it over with, you know, that would be better.

20:58 Adam Well, it's not your fault. We heard your voice. Were you sexually abused or victimized?

21:03 Drew Oh yes, what happened?

21:05 Adam Before this.

21:07 I've got lots of stories I could tell you guys.

21:09 Adam Sexual abuse or physical?

21:12 Well, when I was five years old, I was sexually assaulted by my neighbor.

21:18 Drew All right, well that's what this is. Once you become a victim and learn that freeze response, somehow people, perpetrators know that about you and they just keep at you until you freeze and then they take advantage.

21:31 Adam All right, so did you report this guy?

21:33 I did and it didn't really get resolved too well. I mean, he got in some trouble, but two or three months later, it was pretty much all blown over and I pretty much got the blame for it because I'm the lower ranking of the two.

21:46 Adam Well, wait a minute, hold on a second. Let me say a couple of things. First off, again, not a real popular PC attitude here, but you know, we've talked about this a little bit with like the Kobe Bryant case and the gal who's, seems like she's got a little history of partying, a little depression, suicide attempt, multiple partners, that kind of stuff. Here's my point.

22:12 Drew Trauma survivor.

22:13 Adam We talk about this all the time. A trauma survivor, everything is perceived as trauma. They freeze, they freeze up oftentimes. And so the guy who is essentially goes from aggressive male to rapist, but he doesn't know it.

22:30 Drew He doesn't know he's done that.

22:31 Adam Oftentimes, I'm not saying there's no rapists out there. It happens all the time. I'm saying in a case, when you get these cases like this case and possibly the Kobe case, at least in our sort of professional experience without looking at any of the evidence, that's what it's starting to feel like. It's like, is it rape? Is it just a sexual encounter? Well, it's both. It depends who you ask.

22:56 Drew That's right. It's experienced as.

23:00 Adam Every encounter gets experienced as, and it gets experienced as the next day. We didn't talk about this too much. Remember when Jeff Probst came on here from Survivor?

23:10 Drew Yeah.

23:11 Adam And he was saying to us, maybe on the air or off the air, episode six, wow, it's real heavy. Now what happened in episode six is one of the gals, I can't remember which one she left. Susan. Thanks, Anderson.

23:25 Drew Susan, the one from the. Susan, the first season.

23:27 Adam Susan, the trucker left. Yeah, well, what happened was is she was, Richard Hatch got naked, as he always does, and Richard Hatch was, they were doing this obstacle course along these balance beams and stuff like that, and at a certain point, if you took the right path, you would run into your foe in the middle of this balance beam and have to have a little old Sherwood Forest type joust to see who threw who into the water.

23:54 Drew Right.

23:55 Adam All right, she hates Richard Hatch, Hatch and her have been going at it. She lands on a platform and sees Hatch on the other side of her balance beam and starts taunting him, starts yelling at him, come on, come on, bring it on, now he's naked, come on, bring it on, I'll take you on, and Hatch sort of blows her off, and whatever happens, Hatch ends up running across without a confrontation. When he gets to the pad that she's on, and it's a small area, her and two other women are on, he is now, because she's taunting her, he's naked, he's sort of rubbing his ass against her and saying, hey, you wanted something, she's like, get away from me, you pig, and she goes running the other, she goes, she's completing the game. Well, that night, she gets back and she was like, I was violated, I was assaulted, I was attacked, that was an attack, I was raped, I was violated, that was a sexual assault. Then the next day, depression, tears, and then anger, and then rage.

24:52 Drew Oh, so she was an abuse survivor.

24:53 Adam And I was just watching that and I was going, she was abused, she was sexually abused or physically abused in her past, and that's why the thing that went from, it didn't seem like anything, she was taunting him and laughing, he came running over and sort of started, he was inappropriate, don't get me wrong, but he's a big, fat naked homo who she's screaming at on the other side of the log and taunting verbally, Anderson, back me up here, and he ran across and started screwing with her a little. And that was that. She went into a rage, she went into a depression, started crying, started cussing Jeff Probst out, screaming she was violated, was suing, and left the island. And I was just sitting there with my wife, and everyone's going, what is, what? She was lying. And I was saying, she was abused.

25:39 Drew She was abused.

25:40 Adam And now, think about Kobe's friend. Oh yeah.

25:43 Drew This, I deal with this stuff every day, every day. It's why you, you know, with people like me, I don't ever go in a room with somebody alone. I always have witnesses, I always document everything.

25:54 Adam Right, we always have Chris the engineer here.

25:56 Drew I won't be with you. Are you kidding? That's right.

25:58 Adam It's almost like being alone. Almost. We got to take a quick break. We'll get back with Sarah in the military thing. We'll figure that out and we'll get all that after this. Hey, everybody. Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191. Did we hang up?

26:32 Drew No, we lost her. Our buddy from Arkansas.

26:35 Adam All right, well, we did a lot of talking. Okay, here's the thing. I think we sort of touched on it.

26:42 Drew Yeah, with her. She is perceiving a lot of things as abuse. She also will attract abusers, so it's hard to tell what happened to her. It's not because she is an inferior position, although she feels powerless all the time, I'm sure.

26:56 Adam In the Army.

26:57 Drew In the Army. The fact is the superior offer is the one that's actually scrutinized much more seriously than an under office.

27:04 Adam You'd like to think so.

27:06 Drew No, they are. They're very, in any situation. That doesn't mean that they all behave themselves, but they're scrutinized.

27:11 Adam Right, and here's the thing. Guys will, as we talked about the part that wants to polish off a six foot sub. Let me tell you how guys are. Guy could have a six foot sub, six foot sub just sitting and not even be that hungry, and when someone else walks up, he shields the sub from the other guy. Hey, this is mine. Mine, yeah. I'll be eating this. Geez, it's 100 degrees out. The mayo's probably gonna go bad in the next three hours. Yeah, doesn't matter. I'm standing around, I'm gonna hump it, and I'm done. That's how guys are. So, I'm just saying. Guys, well, you flip that switch, guys are gonna go. And I don't think this was a great guy. On the other hand, I know she didn't scream.

27:55 Drew Yeah, or, yeah.

27:56 Adam And in his mind, he was probably, come on, baby, come on. And that's her, that's her past. All right, therapy, therapy, therapy. Let's talk to Mariana.

28:08 Hello.

28:09 Adam You're 19, what's up?

28:13 Caller I feel like my water broke earlier, but I'm not pregnant.

28:17 Caller What do you mean earlier?

28:19 Caller Earlier this evening, I got out of the shower and I was getting ready for class and stuff. And I just like, I don't know why I got into my room and all of a sudden I felt water just like gushing out of me. And I was like, what the hell? Like I didn't know what was going on. And you know, I checked, it didn't smell. It didn't have any color. It just kind of flew out of me. And it was a good amount too.

28:40 Drew And it was not urine.

28:42 Caller It wasn't urine, no. I know. I asked my mom and she was like, it didn't smell. I'm like, no. She's like, no color.

28:51 Drew Thank you, mom. Thank you.

28:53 Caller Exactly.

28:54 Adam I don't think I've ever had a conversation about my dad about anything between my knees and my shoulders.

28:59 Drew Oh my God.

29:00 Caller Oh no.

29:01 Adam Even if my upper back is sore, I won't tell him.

29:03 Caller We're very sexually open here. So that doesn't surprise her at all.

29:07 Adam That's good and creepy. And let me tell you something. This is a two-way street. I don't want my kid coming to me either and talking about, you know, oh, hey, dad got the bejesus banged out of me by my boyfriend last night. Now there's some chafing.

29:21 Drew Oh my God.

29:22 Adam Yeah. Not, not, not injury.

29:24 Drew You don't want that to change either. I'm trying to think, Mary, of what they could be. I mean, sometimes there are glands that can rupture, Bartholomew's glands, cysts and things.

29:32 Adam What about water that they, could water have been stored up there? I mean, could you have taken a hot tub or something and four hours later, some little pocket one, nothing?

29:43 Caller I don't take baths or anything.

29:45 Drew I'm expecting somebody to call up and go, I'm surprised you for not having thought of this. And I just, I'm not, it's not occurring to me.

29:51 Adam People listen to this show, The Tards with the Fourth Grade Education. They're working on a third shift at factory jobs. Are you kidding me? Mariana?

30:02 Drew Yeah.

30:03 Caller All right.

30:04 Adam I know it probably seemed like a lot of liquid came out.

30:07 Caller Yeah.

30:08 Adam Actually, you know, the smartest thing I ever did was doing my coffee spill test on LoveLine TV show.

30:17 Drew Yeah, that was pretty smart.

30:18 Adam By the way, Crank Yanker is on Comedy Central Night. Yeah, 10.30. We, people used to call a show all the time when we used to do a TV show and they'd be like, Oh man, my girlfriend, she came and just a ton came out or the girl would call and say it's embarrassing, a ton. Like how much comes out? A quart, two quarts, you know? And I took my coffee mug, which was filled pretty much at the top, maybe about a quarter inch from the top. And I sloshed it and it made a mess.

30:48 Drew But you barely could tell that any fluid had been lost out of the cup.

30:51 Adam That was the point. I sloshed it on the coffee table. The camera could see that it looked like it made a mess.

30:57 Drew Like a quart.

30:58 Adam And it went down about an eighth of an inch on this smallish coffee cup. So it doesn't take much liquid to seem like a lot of liquid came out.

31:07 Drew That's right.

31:08 Adam Although we're still not telling her what it is.

31:11 Drew Again, all I can figure is a gland that's maybe cystic rupture.

31:14 Adam Should she see somebody?

31:15 Drew Yeah, because we can't explain it. Sure, you weren't pregnant, so there you go.

31:19 Caller All right. Cheated on wives.

31:22 Adam Michael? You're 26? You cheated on two wives?

31:29 Caller Oh, I bet I'm...

31:31 Adam Yeah. And each girlfriend you've had?

31:33 Caller Look, since I was 18, I've had a problem, at least since then. And I'm not sure. I mean, because the last girl I was with, I wasn't married to her, obviously. Not to you, but I wasn't married to her. And I cared about her. And I still did the same thing.

31:54 Adam Now, when you say cheating...

31:55 Caller Believe it or not, I did it with one of my ex-wives.

31:58 Adam You cheated with an ex-wife?

31:59 Caller Yeah. And it's kind of... I mean, it's almost embarrassing, really, but it's like... I don't understand what the problem is.

32:10 Drew Why you have to keep doing this? Is that the question?

32:11 Caller Yeah, you're playing the Okie-Dokie.

32:14 Drew Do you...

32:15 Adam That's not me. That's Anderson.

32:17 Caller Yeah.

32:18 Drew Do you have any other compulsions?

32:21 Caller Well, I don't know. There's... I don't know. There's quite a few, really. I mean, it's... It's kind of weird. I mean, it's like that's... That's really the main one. I don't know what... I mean, I...

32:33 Drew Hey, Michael, I didn't ask what the main one is. I said, do you have any others? So the answer is yes.

32:39 Adam The answer is yes. The answer is yes.

32:40 Caller I mean, I'm the dude that sits around and watches the porno and jerks off.

32:46 Adam How dare you?

32:47 Caller Yeah, how dare me? I mean, it's not... That's not a problem, I don't think.

32:50 Adam He's attacking my people.

32:51 Caller The fact that I can't be committed to someone. That's what I think the problem is.

32:55 Drew Okay, so you're not... Hang on. You're not having sexual compulsion or masturbation, right? No, I mean, that's not a problem. You said you have other compulsions. What are they? Adam's going to hang up. He's got his finger on the button.

33:10 Caller I mean, that's really it.

33:11 Drew So you don't have alcohol and drug problems?

33:15 Caller Not a drug problem, no.

33:16 Adam Any drinks?

33:17 Caller Yeah, a little bit. You Mormon?

33:20 Adam I don't know. Just a handball against the drugs.

33:24 Drew The one problem I got to tell you is you're elusive. You're manipulative. It's like, dude, do you have a problem with drugs or alcohol? Not drugs. Yes, I have a problem with drugs or alcohol. The answer is yes, I do. I have a problem with alcohol.

33:38 Adam The guys that cheat all have the same thing. They have a rap, a sort of retarded rap that works on stupid chicks.

33:46 Drew Well, they're sort of too calm.

33:47 Adam And they become... They're a little sociopathic. The reason people don't... The reason chicks don't trust guys are guys like AJ. First off, they call themselves... Michael, Michael. I mean, guys like Michael. They... Everything is sort of... They're a little slicker than they need to be. They're a little elusive. And they end up... You don't feel like you're talking to a human being.

34:09 Drew Well, that is what sociopathy is. But he either has a little dose of sociopath, in which case people are just objects. And they really don't... You can't connect with them. In fact, you're fearful of connecting with them, possibly. Or there's sort of a narcissism here, where it's again, you feel empty, you feel like you can't connect, you just won't. So you just avoid it by... And some sort of avoidance, like you said, of intimacy. These are things that...

34:32 Adam Oh, look. Here's the deal. You're 26. You shouldn't have been married twice before 26.

34:39 Drew Should have been?

34:39 Adam Shouldn't have been.

34:40 Drew Should not have been, that's correct.

34:41 Adam Shouldn't have been married twice before the age of 26. You don't like what you're doing, stop. Go and stop. Feel free. You know, I think what people do too easily is they just announce, hey, this is what I do. I'm this guy. Hey, I cheat. Hey, I can't stop myself from whatever. Yeah, you can. Just don't do it. And if you can't, then you gotta get some help. Either way, the ball's in your court. Right.

35:06 Drew That's right. You may not be responsible for what you're doing, but you're responsible for dealing with it.

35:11 Adam One thing you can do is not have any kids and not get married until he gets us out of the system. And then if he wants to have some casual affairs, so be it.

35:19 Drew I bet you, you know, I bet you Michael's physically abused.

35:22 Adam No.

35:22 Drew Yeah.

35:23 Adam He'll never get it out of him.

35:24 Drew Ask him.

35:25 Adam It's like talking to a used car salesman. How many miles does this car have? She's a runner. Michael?

35:35 Caller Yeah.

35:36 Adam Any physical abuse in your past?

35:38 Caller I am a used car salesman.

35:41 Adam Shocking.

35:43 Caller No.

35:44 Drew So no one ever struck you growing up?

35:47 Caller Yeah. I mean, I had a problem with my stepmother. And see, that's kind of something that I wonder about because she and I didn't get along. My dad married her when I was about eight years old.

36:00 Drew Where was your mom?

36:01 Caller I didn't know her.

36:03 Drew All right. So mom abandons.

36:04 Caller Yeah.

36:05 Drew So your mother is physically abusive.

36:06 Caller Yeah.

36:07 Drew That's a recipe for trouble. How can you trust anybody? Yeah, of course you're going to have women or you're going to have all sorts of people.

36:13 Adam He didn't say she was physically abusive.

36:15 Drew Yes, he did.

36:16 Adam He said he had problems with her.

36:17 Drew I said did she strike you? Yes.

36:19 Caller That's what I said. When I was 14, she struck me and we kind of got into a big fist to cuff, struck her back, busted her eye open. She busted me open and that was kind of the beginning of the end to that.

36:30 Adam Was she hitting you before then?

36:31 Caller Yeah. She struck me sometimes. I told her not to do it because I didn't appreciate being struck in the face.

36:37 Adam Oh, really? You know what my punch is? I like a combo. Pow-pow. Kidney. I like to be set up with a jab and then overhand right so I like to be finished off. I like the idea that she's duking it out with a step-bomb and he busts her up and she comes back. She couldn't answer the bell round eight though. She had a cut. They stopped it. They called it a technical draw. All right. Here's the deal. A little therapy, huh buddy?

37:05 Drew Quite a bit.

37:06 Adam Quite a bit of therapy? Used car salesman though. What a shocker. AJ? You're in the work release program?

37:17 Yes, I am, Adam.

37:19 Adam All right, buddy. Hold on a second.

37:21 All right.

37:22 Adam All right. What does that work release mean exactly? You're in the joint for a while?

37:25 Well, not the joint per se. It's a dormitory. It's like a detention center. Remember the old, it reminds me of my old dorm. That's where it reminds me of. There's a big day center with big screen TV, ping pong table.

37:40 Adam Your junior college had a dorm?

37:42 I didn't go to a junior college.

37:44 Adam Where'd you go?

37:46 Drew Colorado State.

37:48 Adam What went terribly wrong? What went so wrong, AJ?

37:51 I drank too much one night and got a DWAI.

37:55 Drew No, not one night.

37:58 I had a prior in 97 and then I got another one in 2000.

38:04 Adam Hold on a second. It's tough with the DUIs or the DWIs. I'm not so sure. I was called a DUI driving under the influence and then maybe east of the Mississippi, it's driving while-

38:16 Drew Intoxicated.

38:17 Adam Intoxicated. Let's go ahead and straighten that one out. We used to call them 502s too. I know. No one calls them 502s anyway? Gone. Jesus Christ. Take a quick break. We'll get back with AJ. We'll do all that after this. LoveLine. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-1-N-1. All right, AJ is on the phone, got himself a couple of DUIs or DWIs. Now he's in a little work release program. AJ? Yeah? So how much longer are you in the work release program for?

39:17 I got 30 more days.

39:18 Adam All right, how long have you been in? It seems like two DUIs in the course of three or four years, it doesn't sound like that much.

39:32 Drew I think there's more.

39:33 Well, they're really tough here in Colorado, they are.

39:36 Drew Usually it's three, isn't it?

39:37 What's that?

39:39 Drew Wasn't there a third probably?

39:42 Caller Just two, huh?

39:46 Drew Wow.

39:47 Adam And what did you blow?

39:49 The first one was a.298..298, wow, that's up there. It was the New Year's Eve, it was the cliche one. Second one, I had a.04, which isn't the limit, but Colorado has a law that there's no priors. If you have a prior, there's no tolerance for a second.

40:11 Drew For any alcohol at all?

40:14 Any alcohol, yeah.

40:17 Drew Oh yes, it could be.01.

40:19 Adam No, I know, I know. I'm just saying it's half the legal limit, which is, you know, half the legal limit.

40:25 Colorado's.05.

40:27 Adam Oh, it is?

40:28 Drew I don't know why I knew that, because we're trying to get that down here too..05?

40:33 Adam Oh, for Christ's sake. We just focus on the jackoffs that can't turn right when the signal's ready, when the no cars are coming. How about we crack down on those motorists, huh? How about the guy in the left lane that's going 56 and holding everybody? How about him? How about that guy? I've driven around the world five times drunk. I'm fine..05. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right, go ahead. And listen, here's the thing. I know there's plenty of anguish caused by drunk drivers..04 probably isn't that guy. But.298, wow. I mean, if Colorado is, that's almost six times the legal limit, right?

41:17 Drew Yeah, it's a good number. But the point is that that put him in a position with no using while driving period.

41:24 Adam All right, so, yeah, because you can get to.04, not much effort at all.

41:30 Drew That's a half glass of water.

41:32 Adam All right, what's happening? So now you're in a work release program. So what do you do? You sit in a dorm, you watch TV, and then during the day you rake things?

41:40 No, no. I manage a auto parts store.

41:45 Drew And what's your question?

41:48 Well, hold on one second.

41:50 Drew He's working.

41:52 No, I was standing in front of one of the guards. Who's a woman? I haven't had any relief at all since I've been in here. And I have not had a wet dream either. So I was just wondering if that was normal.

42:04 Drew I, you know, you're sleeping in sort of a dormitory with a bunch of guys. That's enough to inhibit.

42:09 Adam Tough to focus.

42:10 Drew Yeah. The quiz question is, why wouldn't you even have a wet dream? And, you know, he's 26. You really kind of should be, but there's things that influence your testosterone levels and your sex drive. And being incarcerated.

42:26 Adam All the saltpeter they put in the S on a shingle, they feed you guys.

42:32 Drew Good being.

42:33 Adam Good being. All right. Hey, you're fine. You get out soon. You got a new life there, right? Mm-hmm. Jenna?

42:42 Hi.

42:42 Adam You're 16?

42:43 Drew Yeah. What's up, baby doll?

42:46 My doctor's telling me that I need to go and go to like her or like Planned Parenthood or something and get a checkup, you know, where like to get you in the strip.

42:56 Drew Right, a pelvic exam.

42:57 Yeah, and I feel really uncomfortable with that. Like I don't like that. And I was thinking that, you know, the last time I had sex was over a year ago and doesn't, don't you only get cancer and stuff from warts, which I never had, so.

43:13 Drew How do you know?

43:14 Well, because I got checked after I had sex.

43:18 Drew So you had one pelvic exam, right? Yeah. And that's the only time you ever had one?

43:23 Uh-huh.

43:24 Drew And how old were you then? And no sex since? And no sex, no sexual contact since?

43:32 Uh-uh.

43:34 Drew Well, a case could be made against you getting screened, to tell you the truth. But I do agree with your doctor that you should be.

43:39 Adam Who's the doctor? Okay, but what do we do in society about everyone just going, ah, just go do it? And you're going, like, well, it's not gonna. Yeah, just go.

43:47 Drew Definitely by 18, you must do it. Yeah, within the next year or so, you need to do it. It's diligent and proper to do it before then. But it's not, they're loosening up a little bit on the pelvic recommendations.

44:00 Adam I just, you know, I again, I just keep blaming the lawyers on this one. Everett, we just got into this thing where it's like, look, it's not gonna happen. It's probably not gonna happen. It for sure won't happen. But just go do it anyway. Well, that's great for you. It's not great for the person that has to pay and drive across town and get out of school and take a day off work. There's like way too much of that. You know, just do it. Let's just do it. Yeah.

44:26 Drew You know what I mean?

44:28 Adam Yeah, yeah. Well, it's not a bad plan to adopt to some extent as a society. But now we're just getting like way too much into that. You know, I had to have an MRI when I got my hand operated on. It's like, what? It's a cyst. And we're gonna get an MRI. Why? And we just better do it. Well, how come? You can't tell what it is? Well, no. Let's just do it. So a thousand bucks and three hours later and a missed day of work. It's like, yeah. It was nothing. That's what we thought. Meanwhile, you put my head in a trash can while a guy beat it with a wooden spoon for an hour. Going insane, by the way. Head first in that goddamn contraption. But it's that, yeah, it's just better. Everyone's covered. I don't know. Can we take a few more chances?

45:09 Drew Well, yes. And people, they are trying to decide how to utilize health care resources more judiciously. And so things like pelvic exams are being examined. Maybe they don't need to be as frequent.

45:19 Adam There's a finite amount of doctors, stirrups, MRI, trash cans, technicians. You know what I mean? Do I have to get everybody? And then by the way, how about just giving the people that need it priority, prioritizing, you know, give them priority.

45:34 Drew All right.

45:34 Adam That's true. Can't argue with that. Lana?

45:37 Yeah?

45:38 Adam You're 19?

45:39 Caller Yes.

45:40 Adam What's happening?

45:43 Caller My question is for Dr. Drew. Um, I was born with two heart murmurs and with the normal ones, but, um, and I was recently just got active, you know, in sex and whatnot. And I just wanted to take birth control, but I was wondering if that would affect it in any way.

45:58 Drew What do you mean by heart murmurs?

46:01 Caller Heart murmurs, they affect the heartbeat and the blood flow of my heart.

46:06 Drew No, that's not what a heart murmur is.

46:07 Adam What is a heart murmur?

46:08 Drew Heart murmur is something the doctor hears when he listens with a stethoscope.

46:12 Adam Yeah.

46:12 Drew Yeah. It's a sign of turbulent blood flow across the valves.

46:16 Adam Mm-hmm. Is that what that is?

46:17 Drew To have two almost doesn't make sense. You wouldn't be talking about having two murmurs. You would say I have valvular defects or I have two valves that don't work right.

46:27 Adam So is a murmur a constant sound?

46:30 Drew No. No.

46:32 Caller From what I was... All right.

46:34 Adam Hold on.

46:34 Drew It's between the... At some phase in the cardiac cycle, it's usually between the first and second heartbeat, so it's bump, bump. So the sh is the... I was going to do a little beep-bop. There's different kinds of... I'll tell you about murmurs after the break. After the break.

46:49 Adam Oh, we got to take a break?

46:50 Drew Yeah. All right.

46:50 Adam Hang on there Lana. Don't hang up on Lana. She's hot. That's a hot name, that Lana. We'll talk about murmurs. Drew will explain all that after this. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-ER. Ah, yeah, the heart murmur person, yeah? Alright, what's a murmur sound like, Drew? All right, Lana.

47:53 Drew They have different qualities based on where they are, which valve, where you hear them when you listen to them.

47:57 Adam Now, what's it mean normally?

47:59 Drew Usually means a valve is either leaking or it has some sort of restriction to inflow or some sort of irregularity on the leaflets, so it creates turbulence.

48:08 Adam What do you gotta do about it?

48:09 Drew Usually nothing, but they can be serious. You can have holes in the heart and things like that. They can cause murmurs.

48:15 Adam What's happening with you, Lana?

48:17 Caller Well, yeah, I just recently got sexually active, so I mean, I just wanted to know, because you always hear warnings about, oh, this may cause heart attacks or strokes.

48:28 Drew I need to know what your murmurs are due to. What's your diagnosis? And no one has given you an echocardiogram or worked this up to see what is causing the murmurs?

48:40 Caller No, I have heard my heartbeat once on an amplified system, where they showed you that normal heartbeat and then my heartbeat, but I never really had any diagnosis. I was taken to a specialist when I was an infant and he would diagnose it as just like, I don't know what it was, but it was just normal heart murmurs.

49:00 Drew Okay, so incidental murmurs mean nothing. They usually outgrow them, so you shouldn't have the murmur anymore.

49:05 Adam Yeah.

49:06 Drew You don't have it anymore?

49:07 Caller No, I have it still, because my heartbeat still sounds the way you said it.

49:11 Drew Well, it has nothing to do with your heartbeat, nothing, nothing.

49:14 Adam I asked your doctor if you can bone down or not.

49:17 Drew I'm sure you can, but I can't tell you with any confidence unless I knew what your diagnosis was.

49:22 Adam Well, she doesn't know.

49:23 Drew You need to find out. Because you may need to be taking antibiotics before dental work. There's a lot of things that you could need to look for. Really? Yeah.

49:31 Adam Antibiotics before dental work.

49:32 Drew Yeah, one of the things that happens in your blood system or something? When there's turbulence across the valve leaflets, bacteria, when they break into your bloodstream, like getting your teeth worked on, that kind of thing, the bacteria stick to the valve leaflets and cause horrible, you know, life-threatening infection.

49:44 Adam Yeah, well, good times.

49:45 Drew It's good times, huh?

49:47 Adam Jesus, I gotta go back to the dentist. I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell you how immature I am. For some reason, I got like in between dentists and they've not contacted me for like eight or nine months. So it's like, oh, I've dodged a bullet here, you know? Meanwhile, I got these two bolts in my tooth. I need, I need crowns on them, you know? I'm just eating, like Frankenstein in my goddamn mouth. I got these two big posts in there.

50:10 Drew You never had that finished?

50:11 Adam No.

50:12 Drew Why?

50:13 Adam Because when they screw these titanium bolts into your jaw, they have to heal and they have to set and they have to sit there for like at least six months before they can put the crown on it. Yeah, because your body has to accept it, essentially. Or whatever it is.

50:34 Drew Did your body accept it?

50:35 Adam Evidently, I'm eating with it now.

50:38 Drew Aren't you in a hurry to get the crown on there?

50:41 Adam Here's the whole thing. The dentist to me is like, you know what I mean? I'm never in a hurry.

50:46 Drew You've got frankentooth sitting there. That's ridiculous.

50:50 Adam I've got a big hole there with two bolts. I just eat on the right side of my mouth. Here's the whole thing. It's now been probably a year. I haven't talked to the, you know, I don't know where I'm at. I gotta, here's the point. I gotta contact him. And, you know, calling the dentist is like calling parking enforcement and going, hey, just checking in. Anything on the record? Anything I should be taking care of? Should I? Yeah, you know, there's a part, maybe there's some stuff out there and maybe a warrant or two, but it's like, you're just driving. I don't wanna know. I don't wanna stop, you know? You get the cleanings. And let me tell you something. I've been, I didn't go to the dentist for like 10 years cause I never had insurance or anything. I never flossed, never did anything. Then it's like, oh, copious flossing and cleanings every four months and stuff. It's the same amount. Same, same, same stuff. I got, I got evil spit. My spit is bad. I just, I have corrosive spit.

51:48 Drew Nice.

51:49 Adam I, that's what I've decided. Hey, here's the thing. It's all hereditary.

51:53 Drew Yes.

51:53 Adam You can F your teeth up. Don't get me wrong. But if you're going to get cavities, you're going to get cavity. There's people that are 50 have never had a cavity. Is it because of their immaculate hygiene?

52:03 Drew No.

52:03 Adam No. Doesn't matter what you do. I started flossing, they started cleaning. Same thing. Go back every six months, there's a cavity.

52:10 Drew Nice.

52:11 Adam Yeah.

52:11 Drew Yeah.

52:11 Adam But they, they try to tell you there's something you can do because it keeps their business going. Think about it. It's not hurting to floss, but it doesn't prevent anything. All right, Drew.

52:23 Drew That's more for gum disease than caries.

52:25 Adam All right. And it's just, it's all good times. Micah? You're 17? What's up?

52:39 Caller And I feel pretty bad about it.

52:41 Caller I feel kind of selfish.

52:44 Drew Meaning that once you're done, you have to stop?

52:47 Caller Well, no. I mean, we just, we keep going and then he'll be like, you know what? I don't think I can go. And I just feel like crap.

52:54 Drew So it's not you feel selfish. Oh, you mean you can't satisfy.

52:57 Caller I really do.

52:59 Adam Oh, because you, like she has like a refractory period?

53:02 Drew No, it's that she, he won't ejaculate. Therefore she feels worthless.

53:06 Adam I know, but she, does she have to stop at a certain time?

53:09 Caller No, he stops.

53:10 Adam He just can never finish.

53:11 Caller There's some times where he can and that's only when we do like anal and we have sex like, you know, every weekend all the time, but we don't do that for a week.

53:22 Adam It's an interesting anal ploy. It's like two pumps vaginally. Well, that's not gonna work. Jeez, you only been on me for 30 seconds. Believe me, a man knows. We gotta go anal. Oh, yeah, Drew, that's considered a late bloomer anal.

53:40 Drew I guess so in Nevada.

53:41 Adam Mm-hmm, yeah, she's considered a spinstress, an anal spinstress.

53:48 Drew Nice.

53:49 Adam Micah? How old is he? 24. Oh, 24 year old?

53:53 Caller Oh, he's criminal.

53:54 Drew He's too old.

53:55 Adam He's living in Carson City.

53:57 Drew What do you mean, lectured? It's not about lecturing. When you're 24, you'll freak out.

54:02 Adam I was like, by the way, when people are doing speed balls and they're like, I know, you're not the first person that told me to stop mixing the Coke and the Speed and the smoking. It's like, I know. Yeah, I know, you know. Now stop.

54:16 Drew But it's not, it's-

54:17 Adam Spare me the lectures.

54:18 Drew Here's the deal. It's like, well, you're the man. Then it's, no, you want to kill yourself? That's up to you. But look, if people care.

54:27 Adam What's he do just for kicks? Uh huh, what?

54:32 Drew You knew it.

54:33 Adam I knew it. Computer tech? How'd you meet him?

54:38 Caller I met him in a bar.

54:42 Adam What were you doing in a bar at 17?

54:44 Caller I knew the bouncer.

54:47 Adam Oh boy, you got that voice, baby doll. What happened to you? Sexual abuse? Baby, CD, CDFG, That was from a 44 year old woman who called the show last week. What do you got going? Sexual abuse in the past?

55:02 Drew Abandonment.

55:03 Adam Abandonment. Where's your daddy?

55:06 Caller He's around.

55:09 Adam When did he move out of the house?

55:11 Caller Oh no, he's living in the house.

55:13 Adam He is?

55:14 We just don't talk.

55:15 Adam Where's mama? Are they together?

55:17 Yeah.

55:19 Adam Why don't you two talk?

55:20 I don't really have the chance to.

55:26 Adam Oh boy, does she hate him. You know, there's nothing worse than your kid. And this girls, by the way, they get disgusted by you. You know what I mean? They treat you like they treat other guys. Like he's gross. It's like he's your dad. You don't have to bone him. He's just your dad, you know? He's gross. Like do boys ever do that with their moms? Like, what about your mom? Ugh, skank, big ass, never do her. Maybe if I was really loaded.

55:55 Drew Why don't you talk to him?

55:58 Caller Never really have the time to. He doesn't really care to listen to anything I have to say. I mean, I always disagree with everything.

56:06 Adam So, you're hurt, you're angry, and whatever.

56:09 Caller Yeah.

56:09 Adam Fine.

56:11 Drew How long has that been going on for? How long? How did it get started? What happened? Oh, that explains everything. Now it's coming clearly into focus.

56:26 Adam So, the prince came by with the slipper, and fit your sister. Well, okay, listen, Micah, you sound angry at your dad. That's fine. Most 17-year-old chicks don't like their dads that much.

56:39 Drew They're more working on their mom more than their dad.

56:42 Adam That's a good point, too. The dad just usually sits there while the mom kicks their hymen around the house. Okay, so here's the deal, Micah. It's legal, I guess, in Carson City, Nevada, for a 17-year-old to have sex with a 24-year-old. So be it. Take it easy on the anal. As far as him not being able to have an orgasm, you guys will work that out together. Don't feel bad. You're having an orgasm. So be it.

57:10 Drew I have great concerns about this guy, up to bottom.

57:12 Adam I do, too. You're doing everything you can. And how about if you hate dad so much, you start thinking about plans to get out of the house. Now, I know there's no college in the future unless Carson City has an extensive junior college program. Micah?

57:29 Caller Yes, I actually plan on going to college.

57:32 Adam Right.

57:33 Caller For business and four years in math, and then I want to be a pilot.

57:37 Adam Oh, all right. Don't use that voice, by the way, when you come over the intercom. Like, don't get like a...

57:44 Drew Marilyn Monroe.

57:45 Adam Hey, you guys. We'll be flying at an altitude of 36,000 feet. And if you look to the left side of the air, well, we got to wait till we get off the ground. We got to pass this thing. It's a big ditch. It's like got a hole. I think it's called a grand hole or a big canyon or something.

58:07 Drew 16 is the age of consent in Nevada.

58:09 Adam All right, that's fine. Wait a minute. Hold on a second. Micah?

58:13 Caller Yeah?

58:14 Adam You're a... Are you a senior in high school now? Junior?

58:18 Caller Mm-hmm.

58:19 Adam You just turned 17?

58:21 Caller Mm-hmm.

58:22 Drew Are you already flying?

58:23 Caller Um, I actually have been on a couple trips.

58:27 Adam Or, okay, where you've been a passenger?

58:30 Caller No, co-pilot.

58:32 Adam Co-pilot. Now, how'd you get to do that? Your parents have some money or something?

58:37 Caller Some of my clients.

58:39 Drew Your clients?

58:40 Caller Some people I work for, they own planes or pilots themselves.

58:44 Drew Hold on, what do you mean clients?

58:46 Caller Oh dear God.

58:48 Adam What do you do?

58:49 Drew Carson City is known for...

58:51 Caller No, no, no.

58:54 Adam Teenage prostitute?

58:56 Caller I don't do this. I'm a topless, topless and nude housekeeping.

59:00 Adam Topless and nude housekeeping, really?

59:03 Caller What?

59:05 Adam Drew used to do some nude handymanning to get his way through college.

59:09 Caller Oh.

59:09 Caller What?

59:11 Caller What?

59:11 Adam Nude, nude? Don't pretend like you've never done it. You've never hired a topless or nude housekeeper? What?

59:20 Drew What?

59:20 Adam Yeah, they have nude nannying. What? Nude tutoring of tutors.

59:25 Drew Oh my God.

59:26 Adam Asian chick comes by, just wearin nothing but a thong, tutors your kid and man. And piano. They have music teachers. I have nude everything now, Drew. Sparkless guy comes by my house naked, junk flopping around, he's wearing just the boots.

59:41 Drew Oh my God.

59:42 Adam Yeah, I got a nude, I got a nude pool guy, nude gardener, leaf blower. That's stuff, he's wearing just a huge sombrero and some sandals and that's it, just a leaf blower. Legs akimbo, nuts flopping around.

59:58 Caller What?

59:59 Adam She doesn't do it. Micah? Yeah? You work for a company that does nude housekeeping?

1:00:06 Caller No, I'm starting to open a company. I do not do the work myself.

1:00:11 Adam Right, okay.

1:00:13 Drew How did you come upon this work?

1:00:17 Adam Well, she's 17. She's a junior in high school. All right, look, who cares? I'm done talking to Micah. Micah's one of these, she's one of these 17 year olds that knows everything. She's all, I just, I can't stand her.

1:00:30 Drew Micah has a personality disorder.

1:00:31 Adam Yeah, so what?

1:00:32 Drew And she's getting into some weird ass stuff.

1:00:34 Adam Well, stop.

1:00:37 Drew And I can't figure out what's going on with that family.

1:00:39 Caller That's screwy.

1:00:43 Adam Micah's a type. We haven't talked to her in a little while. It's that I know everything. I know it's going on wise way beyond my years. I've, you know, I'm dating a guy who's 20 something. I'm a junior in high school. I got my, I'm going to be a pilot. I'm going to be an astronaut. I'm going to open my own business. I'm going to, yeah, okay. We'll see you in junior college toots. You got the life by the tail. Fine. Do what you got to do.

1:01:04 Drew Yeah, but that's all, as you're picking up, it's like a delusion.

1:01:07 Adam All right, so be it.

1:01:09 Drew It's not, you can't make choices if you're not sort of processing in a real.

1:01:14 Adam Just happier than everyone at the station. So what?

1:01:19 Drew What?

1:01:20 Adam All right, nude housekeeping crew. Don't play stupid.

1:01:23 Drew What?

1:01:26 Adam Geneva?

1:01:26 Drew I can't get over that. I saw it in Los Angeles.

1:01:31 Adam They don't have it in Los Angeles? Yes, they have nude handyman in Los Angeles. What? Yeah.

1:01:36 Drew Well, but this is Nevada.

1:01:39 Adam I hired some nude day labors to work on the new house. They're couple extra-

1:01:44 Drew I'm having hallucinations.

1:01:46 Adam Couple extra bucks an hour, but it really does a lot for the morale on the job. You know what I mean?

1:01:52 Drew To see some-

1:01:53 Adam Nude guy, these guys, they're not skilled craftsmen, but they'll do a little cinder block work, a little light concrete work, and do some forming.

1:02:01 Drew The sack adds-

1:02:03 Adam Nude, sack.

1:02:04 Drew Sack adds-

1:02:04 Adam Oh, they wear boots.

1:02:07 Drew Attitudes of the clothes. Skilled laborers.

1:02:11 Adam Yeah. My skilled guys will usually make them work and they're underpants. High dollar guys.

1:02:21 Drew Nude and, did you say nude and topless?

1:02:24 Adam That's just, I don't know. Geneva. You're 16? What's up?

1:02:32 Caller Just recently, three weeks ago, my psychiatrist prescribed me Lexapro because for my depression, and I've been going through a serious viral depression lately, and I saw him today, earlier today, and he decided to prescribe me Wellbutin on top of Lexapro because he thought that I needed to boost my energy. And I'm just wondering why he would do that. I don't know, it just seems like he's over-medicating me or something.

1:03:08 Drew But you must have still been complaining about low energy or perhaps lack of-

1:03:12 Caller Well, right. I mean, he asked me, well, how is this working in the first three weeks? And I'm just like, I don't really feel a difference. And he was like, well, is your energy still low? And I'm like, well, yeah, I don't feel a difference. And he was like, okay, well, I'm gonna prescribe you this, but it's like, he was just like, take it in the morning, don't take it at night because it might keep you up all night. And it might make you anxious. And I'm like, well, I don't know. It's like, what's the difference between like that and taking some speed in the morning and feeling good all day? I mean, I just-

1:03:43 Drew It's completely different. Completely different.

1:03:46 Caller I feel like he's a, and then I'm also gonna be on the pill soon. And then he also gave me stuff for sleeping pills. I just feel, I don't know. It feels like weird to me that I'm on all these pills.

1:03:59 Adam Yeah, what about it, Drew?

1:04:00 Drew Have you been hospitalized psychiatrically?

1:04:02 Caller No.

1:04:03 Drew Are you trying to hurt yourself?

1:04:06 Caller I used to cut myself.

1:04:08 Adam Well, there you go.

1:04:09 Drew All right, so these are pretty serious psychiatric symptoms. That's why he's trying to find something that's gonna work here.

1:04:14 Adam But you stopped cutting yourself? Well, that's nice. Do you have a boyfriend?

1:04:18 Caller No.

1:04:19 Adam Well, you say you're going on the pill soon.

1:04:21 Caller Oh, no, that's to regulate my periods because I've been having irregular periods since I started my period.

1:04:28 Adam Uh-huh, yeah.

1:04:29 Drew Antidepressant medicine, it's not like you can measure a level of the neurochemicals in your brain and then figure out which medicine you need. You have to keep trying and adjusting and finding something that A, lifts your affect, your mood, and B, doesn't cause untoward side effect, and then C, corrects specifically the depression symptoms you're having. So Lexapros is a very powerful and good medication. It has very limited side effects. Oftentimes, well, butch will be added to that when people are complaining about low energy. That's not experimentation. That's sound practice.

1:05:03 Adam Yeah, well, good times, you know? My boyfriend was molested as a kid. Virgin really wants sex. Can I talk to Alex?

1:05:14 Drew Sure.

1:05:15 Adam Alex?

1:05:20 Caller I don't have a boyfriend. I was molested as a kid.

1:05:25 Adam What's the BC?

1:05:26 Drew Because.

1:05:26 Adam Oh, because. Really? I gotta get hip.

1:05:28 Caller Yeah.

1:05:30 Adam So you were molested as a kid by whom?

1:05:34 Caller Was a neighbor's friend or like her boyfriend's mother molested me and her and a couple other girls. I was a kid from between my age, between like three and six.

1:05:46 Adam And so this was an adult woman?

1:05:50 Caller No, it was an adult guy.

1:05:51 Adam All right, you said your girlfriend's mother and boy, your girlfriend's neighbor's mother's boyfriend.

1:05:58 Caller Okay, no, my friend when I'm a little kid, my neighbor, my friend.

1:06:05 Adam Who cares? It was a guy.

1:06:07 Drew All right, what's your question?

1:06:10 Caller My question is just that I really, I'm looking just for advice. I mean, I'm at my age now and since I grew up religiously, sometimes it was a taught religion growing up, since I have attractions of both sexes and it makes me more.

1:06:31 Adam All right, so you're confused.

1:06:32 Drew Are you sexually compulsive?

1:06:35 Caller No, I'm not. I can be sexually compulsive if I have a boyfriend, but I haven't had one for over a year.

1:06:43 Drew So you have a girlfriend now?

1:06:45 Caller No, I don't have a girlfriend right now. I actually, my whole life, I've always been really shy to females.

1:06:52 Drew So you're gay.

1:06:53 Adam He's bisexual. Hey, Alex. Yeah. So it sounds like somebody bent your antenna a little bit when you were younger and scrambled your signal a little bit, and now there's some ambivalence and some confusion. How's the rest of your life going other than the dating part?

1:07:15 Caller Well, I've held my job for seven years, even though I dropped out of high school. I'm very close to getting my GED.

1:07:23 Adam All right. That's going to make you a million. Don't bother with that GED, everybody. That thing is SHI. Well, you know what I'm saying. That GED is worthless. And what are you doing? What kind of work do you do?

1:07:39 Caller Well, I actually work in fast food.

1:07:43 Adam Oh, by the way, hold on a second. It's easy to keep your job in fast food. You got to quit. You got to quit or you got to take a dump in the salad box. They don't fire you. You work there for four months and you realize, hey, I'm getting $5.55 an hour and this sucks. I got to get the hell out of here.

1:08:05 Drew Nobody quits?

1:08:06 Adam Nobody gets fired. Nobody gets fired, yeah. They'll keep you there for a hundred years if you're stupid enough to stand behind the grill for a hundred years.

1:08:13 Drew Well, here's the deal with Alex. He's conflicted about his values as they contrast with the drives he has and his sexual orientation and whatnot. And if he wants to try to sort this out, there are treatments out there not to try to switch his orientation but just kind of bring him to terms with all this. And particularly if he's been a sexually compulsive, which is a common consequence of sexual abuse, there are 12-step programs and treatment centers dedicated to that sort of thing.

1:08:37 Adam So what should he do?

1:08:38 Drew Well, there's Meadows down in Arizona, there's Delamo Treatment Center here in Los Angeles. He could call these places and get the referrals out in his area.

1:08:47 Adam Oh, really? Hey, Alex. Yeah. What do you do at the fast food place?

1:08:55 Caller I'm a shift manager, actually.

1:08:58 Adam Shift manager. That's good.

1:08:59 Drew That's the guy that used to bust your chops.

1:09:02 Adam Oh, my God. Ken, kiss my ass. Time to lean, time to clean. I knew it was time for me to go when I heard the... I used to work at the McDonald's out in Studio City, and I knew it was time to go when I heard that time to lean, time to clean mantra that Ken, big fat manager, used to yell at me all the time. And then the other thing, too, was you didn't walk in and punch in. You walked in, went down to the basement, jumped into your polyester brown gi, and then went up and punched in. There was no punching in, you know, because, God forbid, you spend a minute and 28 seconds punched in when you're actually changing into the crazy outfit you got to wear for that godforsaken place. Oh, and then sweeping and mopping, $2.35 an hour, taxes taken out.

1:09:57 Drew She's my first job, $1.69.

1:10:00 Adam Really? Is that minimum wage?

1:10:01 Drew Yep.

1:10:01 Adam Where was it?

1:10:03 Drew It was sweeping streets, basically.

1:10:05 Adam Sweeping streets. Yeah. But the streets were made of gold. Did you have taxes taken out?

1:10:16 Drew Of course.

1:10:17 Adam That's great. It's great.

1:10:19 Drew Of course.

1:10:20 Caller It's great.

1:10:22 Drew It's a buck and a quarter an hour.

1:10:24 Adam After taxes, yep. I was just working. My cuticles smell like onions for months after I quit that dump sweeping and mopping out there.

1:10:33 Drew I remember when it went up to $5 an hour and I was like, oh my God.

1:10:36 Adam Minimum wage? When did it go up to $5 an hour? It's like $6.50 or something now.

1:10:43 Drew No, I know. But I remember when it went up.

1:10:44 Adam Yeah, I know. I know. It sounds like a ridiculous amount. I was getting $1.69. I was getting $2.15 or $2.35.

1:10:53 Drew I remember that one.

1:10:55 Adam We broke the $2 an hour barrier. I would work like, during the summer, work like a 17 to 20 hour a week and walk with like $42. Maybe. Oh, no, no. I'd walk with like $28. That was a good time.

1:11:14 Drew Big money in those days.

1:11:16 Adam You stick with it there, buddy. Shift manager, don't beat yourself up. You like guys, fine. You like girls, fine. You take care of yourself. You got to get a little therapy. Don't worry about God. God wants you to get therapy.

1:11:25 Drew 12 step would help him.

1:11:26 Adam All right. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. 1-800-LV-1-1.

1:12:25 Drew That's you.

1:12:26 Adam That's me.

1:12:26 Drew That's what I sound like.

1:12:28 Adam George?

1:12:29 Caller Yeah.

1:12:30 Adam You're 24?

1:12:31 Caller Yeah.

1:12:32 Adam You had gland problems?

1:12:34 Caller Well, I had a, I have a pituitary tumor, so I didn't go through puberty, naturally. Delayed puberty.

1:12:43 Drew Yeah.

1:12:43 Caller So, I was diagnosed when I was 18, and so I had surgery and everything, and then they gave me testosterone, and then I went through puberty then, but like my genitals and stuff never, like, kind of, you know, went through the changes.

1:13:03 Drew Never grew.

1:13:04 Caller Like, what's that?

1:13:05 Drew They never grew?

1:13:06 Caller Yeah, they never grew, not really, no.

1:13:10 Adam So, they haven't grown from when, or since when?

1:13:13 Caller Since I went through puberty, like, so, like I have hair and stuff, but like everything's really small down there.

1:13:23 Adam What size are you coming in at?

1:13:25 Caller Like, uh, grapes and Vienna sausage.

1:13:29 Adam Oh, bad times.

1:13:31 Caller Yeah.

1:13:32 Adam Yeah, yeah, there's cocktail weenies.

1:13:33 Drew How long have you been on the testosterone?

1:13:37 Caller Uh, since I was 18, so, what, four or five, six years?

1:13:41 Drew Have you talked to the endocrinologist about that particular issue?

1:13:45 Caller Well, he said that since, like, I'm not making the gonadotropins, my testes will be small, but I was curious about the penis size.

1:13:56 Adam Yeah, who cares about the sac? What about the jack?

1:13:59 Drew Yeah, the phallus should lengthen and elongate and enlarge.

1:14:03 Adam It'd be nice.

1:14:05 Drew So I would be asking him why not? What's going on here?

1:14:08 Caller Well, should I be taking more, like, androgenil?

1:14:12 Drew That's what I would wonder. I can't tell you that, but that needs to be discussed with the endocrinologist.

1:14:17 Adam The point is, is it 24? What are the chances the joint's going to make a move this late in the race?

1:14:22 Drew I don't know.

1:14:23 Adam But you're not good.

1:14:25 Drew It's not as good as if you were 15, that's for sure, but there's a book called Man-Made by a guy named Ken Baker where he had a prolactinoma.

1:14:32 Caller Yeah, I called before. I read the book with Ken Baker.

1:14:35 Drew How'd you like it?

1:14:36 Caller Yeah, it was great.

1:14:36 Drew Was that your experience?

1:14:37 Caller I hadn't even met him before.

1:14:38 Drew Was that your experience?

1:14:40 Caller Yeah, yeah, I have a prolactinoma like him too.

1:14:43 Caller All right.

1:14:46 Drew So, you got to talk to your endocrinologist, do you have a...

1:14:48 Caller Endocrinologist?

1:14:49 Adam Yeah, talk to your endocrinologist, yeah.

1:14:51 Drew He's somebody that then you would probably have talked to Dr. Alter.

1:14:54 Adam Oh, really? Yeah, Dr. Alter will stretch junk out a little bit.

1:14:59 Drew Yeah.

1:15:00 Adam Yeah? Give you some tissue from a corpse. Pinch that right into your dork.

1:15:06 Drew Is that what he was doing?

1:15:08 Adam Well, he did it to me during the commercial break. No, the only way to really... Here's how you make your penis larger. You clip the ligaments and then you put weights on it, essentially, because you got to keep it pulled out.

1:15:24 Drew He's got a girth issue here.

1:15:26 Adam And then the girth issue is addressed by grafting on some skin, and that skin is... Or some cells on the penis, some like human cells, and those are from cadavers.

1:15:39 Drew Nice.

1:15:40 Adam So, you know, like I said, that donor sticker on my wallet, I thought I was going to give sight to a blind person or give some retarded kid my kidneys or something, when I buy it on the motorcycle.

1:15:51 Drew Penis to George.

1:15:53 Adam Me, dorks going to George. Fantastic.

1:15:56 Drew Paul?

1:15:57 Caller Hey, how you guys doing tonight? Good.

1:15:59 Adam What's up?

1:16:00 Caller I had a question for Dr. Drew. Actually, Adam, I wanted to ask you one thing really fast. In your crusade for pies over cakes, where does cheesecake fall?

1:16:10 Adam Cheesecake's perfectly acceptable.

1:16:12 Caller Perfectly acceptable? All right, good. Because that's the best stuff in the world anyway.

1:16:15 Adam And any... Hold on. Let me explain something. Anything that is the size of essentially a small hubcap and weighs 30 pounds, falls... It's got to be good. It's more of a weight, volume and density issue. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's nothing worse than that big, flat old sheet cake, size of a manhole cover, chick lift it with one hand. You know what I mean? It's nothing. It's nothing. I like cheesecakes, a block of calories. By the way, there's nothing better than cheesecake. Could anything be worse for you than cheesecake?

1:16:49 Drew No.

1:16:50 Adam I mean it...

1:16:51 Drew And they've perfected making it worse. We'll throw in some caramel. We'll put in some whipped cream on it. We'll put chocolate through it.

1:16:59 Adam It's... It's always great when they start putting the fruit and cherries and stuff on it. Okay, now I'm getting hungry. What's happening, Paul?

1:17:08 Caller I wanted to ask Dr. Drew about problems associated with use of prescription amphetamines for ADD.

1:17:15 Drew Which ones?

1:17:16 Caller Particularly, well, risks of abuse and becoming dependent on it.

1:17:24 Drew Well, I happen... I have a pretty radical opinion about this. My opinion is that if you have a parent who's an alcoholic and you have ADD, you have that gene for alcoholism addiction.

1:17:38 Caller All right, well, I have no history of alcoholism in my family. Roll on.

1:17:45 Drew Hold on a second. Go ahead, Drew. And if you suspect you have that genetic heritage for whatever reason, you must get off the stimulants at 18. And the scientific data suggests that before 18, there is significant benefit to being derived from being on them. After 18, it's been my experience that it frequently activates addiction. So you have to switch over to Clonidine or Welbutrin.

1:18:11 Caller The non-seminal ones, pretty much.

1:18:13 Drew The non... And even... I've had people going out on Provigil and Stratera and all the ones that aren't supposed to be amphetamine-like. They seem to weakly activate addiction. And they're really not supposed to. It almost doesn't make sense physiologically, but I've seen it happen.

1:18:29 Adam But, you know, good times, you know. Erin?

1:18:37 Caller Hello?

1:18:37 Adam You're 19?

1:18:39 Caller I've had a question. So I was wondering if it's normal that, like, after antiphoric, I hear, like, real hyper for, like, the next 5 to 10 minutes, but that's, like, until I get, like, this sudden urge to, like, hearing it real bad. And not only that, but, like, a little bit later after that, I, like, get real, really wet and I was wondering if that's, like, come and if it is, like, is it normal to come after intercourse?

1:19:06 Adam Well, it's, uh, it's not remnants from the guy's, uh, seed, is it? No? No, that's you?

1:19:15 Caller Yeah.

1:19:16 Adam He doesn't, he pulls out?

1:19:17 Drew You mean you suddenly lubricate a bunch?

1:19:20 Caller Yeah.

1:19:20 Drew I don't know what that's about. The dirge de p is from irritation of the urethra. It has nothing to do with the hyperness. The hyperness is due to the neurochemicals that surge in your brain that God is using as a giant joke on humanity, which is, he surges us with serotonin so the males want to go to sleep and the women want to go run a marathon.

1:19:39 Adam Yeah. Yeah, it's more like talk a marathon. That's where you get a lot of that. Uh-huh. And by the way, I mean, it's like, here's what happens, like, oh, boy. Oh, I'm really bushed. You know what Tammy Orrk said today? Now it's like, now it's double, it's double impact because it's not only do you not normally care what Tammy said at work, but now you got nothing in you, sack empty, no, no, now no incentive. The only Tammy in work, you know, the only incentive to listen to that God awful stories because you know, he had like half a boner. Now it's gone. Now it's like, oh, Christ, now what is that, Drew? Why do they get Gabby? What's going on?

1:20:27 Drew Norpinephrine.

1:20:28 Adam Norpinephrine. I hate that writer.

1:20:31 Drew Yeah.

1:20:32 Adam All right. What is Norpinephrine? That's what they get?

1:20:34 Drew That's what they get. We get the serotonin.

1:20:37 Adam Bad times.

1:20:38 Drew Good times.

1:20:39 Caller Don't look at me.

1:20:40 Caller Don't look at me.

1:20:41 Caller Here it is.

1:20:41 Adam What it sounds like. Always funny, Drew.

1:21:37 Drew Always.

1:21:38 Adam Always. Never not funny. Always funny.

1:21:41 Drew All right, Fooled Around With Cousin As A Kid, France Is Female, Elvis Up Here From Riverside.

1:21:48 Adam Oh, for Christ's sake, it's gonna be a train wreck. Elvis? You're 18?

1:21:56 Caller I'm about to turn 19.

1:21:58 Adam All right, so that makes you how old?

1:22:01 Caller Nine, 18, 18.

1:22:02 Caller Yeah, yeah, almost 18.

1:22:04 Adam All right, what's up?

1:22:07 Caller Wait, can you hold on a second?

1:22:11 Drew What's happened to Elvis?

1:22:12 Adam Didn't I tell you that was gonna be a nightmare? Elvis from Riverside? It's kind of, it's a disaster. All right, let's cut our losses. Let's take a break. We'll be-

1:22:22 Caller No, we gotta go back, come on.

1:22:24 Adam To Elvis?

1:22:26 Caller Let's just-

1:22:27 Adam All right, Elvis?

1:22:28 Caller Yeah.

1:22:29 Drew What happened there?

1:22:30 Caller My brother was holding the line for me. I had to take out the trash.

1:22:33 Drew Oh, that wasn't even Elvis?

1:22:34 Caller Yeah.

1:22:36 Drew Well, good. That's fine. I didn't want to talk to the other guy. That's all right. We don't have to talk to the brother. We talk to Elvis.

1:22:43 Adam All right, hold on a second. By the way, this is River. You wanna know what Riverside is like? This is it. Guys arguing over us taking the garbage out at midnight. We'll take a quick break. We'll get back with Elvis right after this. That's Dr. Drew. Forget about that phone number. It's too late for you guys to call. Let's get back to the phones.

1:23:24 Drew Yeah, we lost Elvis.

1:23:25 Caller All right.

1:23:27 Adam Wow, let me think about how I feel about that. You know what? I'm over it.

1:23:32 Drew I thought you were gonna go, huh?

1:23:34 Caller What?

1:23:34 Adam Let me think. Let me try that. Let me think how I feel about Elvis hanging up. Huh?

1:23:41 Caller What?

1:23:41 Adam No. What?

1:23:42 Drew Are you okay? Yeah, okay.

1:23:43 Adam No, I'm okay.

1:23:47 What was that?

1:23:48 Caller I had no idea.

1:23:51 Drew Stacey.

1:23:51 Adam Stacey, you're 16. What's up?

1:23:54 Caller Yeah. I had sex for the first time unprotected cause I'm, I just started to throw.

1:24:00 Adam Great.

1:24:01 Caller And I was wondering after I had sex, like after the guy ejaculated inside me, all the semen came out. Is that normal?

1:24:08 Drew That is normal.

1:24:09 Adam No, you normally belch it up in the form of a huge bubble.

1:24:14 Drew From your mouth?

1:24:17 Adam And then you float. Yeah. Until a woodpecker lands on it and hits it.

1:24:22 Drew I mean, just, what do you think?

1:24:24 Adam Well, maybe you just absorb it or something, you know?

1:24:27 Caller Well, I don't know. I didn't know what was supposed to happen.

1:24:30 Drew It's got to go somewhere and you don't need every drop of it.

1:24:33 Adam Yeah. And Drew, what would you rather hypothetically, semen on or semen in? You know what I mean?

1:24:39 Drew What do you mean? No. As a girl?

1:24:43 Adam As a girl or a guy. Like how ghastly a feeling must that be with the guys and the anal sex? The semen going in you?

1:24:51 Drew Well, people, oh yeah. People like that.

1:24:53 Adam Think about it.

1:24:54 Drew We would like that.

1:24:55 Adam I know they do, but think about your ass for a moment.

1:24:58 Drew No, thank you.

1:24:58 Adam That would be brutal. It'd be brutal, right? On the other hand, if it went on, you'd never get it out. Never out. It's just for me, would never be there. Never get out.

1:25:09 Drew Peanut butter and the shag carpet.

1:25:12 Adam That's for me. That's a... Listen, if a guy finished on me, On your butt. In that area, in the rear area, forensic team could show up 30 years later.

1:25:25 Drew Oh, a new absence.

1:25:26 Adam Plenty, enough DNA evidence to convict this guy and his whole family.

1:25:29 Caller Yes.

1:25:30 Adam It just never would come out. Yes, sir?

1:25:32 Drew Yes.

1:25:33 Caller Okay.

1:25:33 Drew Of course, all the other guys that they detect too, though.

1:25:36 Adam It's pretty like, which guy? We got to date and mark these things. They put little tags on my ass, you know? December.

1:25:42 Drew The flags.

1:25:43 Adam You know, there's something they'd have to estimate. Mid-80s, 84 to 87, we estimate. All right, she's fine, right?

1:25:54 Drew Yeah, she's fine.

1:25:54 Adam All right, let's talk to Lidabet. Lidabet? You're 17?

1:26:00 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:26:02 Adam What's happening, honey bunch?

1:26:04 Caller I've been having sex for the last four years and I've never had an orgasm.

1:26:09 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:26:10 Drew That would be normal. You're a little bit young to be expecting that, believe it or not.

1:26:15 Adam Yeah.

1:26:17 Drew I'm sure you have friends that have, do you have any other way of working? Do you masturbate or oral sex?

1:26:21 Caller I don't masturbate.

1:26:23 Drew Oral sex?

1:26:23 Adam No, really. Well, la-dee-dah. Her Highness doesn't masturbate, Drew.

1:26:28 Drew Oral sex? And do you have an orgasm that way?

1:26:34 Caller No.

1:26:34 Drew No.

1:26:35 Caller I've never had one at all.

1:26:36 Drew Why do you have sex if it's so unsatisfying?

1:26:45 Adam It's nice to be loved.

1:26:47 Drew You have a boyfriend? For a male, that's hard to understand. There's no drive.

1:26:51 Adam Yeah, by the way, this is what you're talking about, the top of the show with the pet scans or CAT scans or MRIs, which one is a pet scan?

1:27:00 Drew Functional MRIs, functional MRIs.

1:27:01 Adam What's the difference between, what, I had the dysfunctional MRI where I put my head in a trash can and I took the thing.

1:27:06 Drew This shows metabolic activity in certain areas.

1:27:08 Adam That's a functional MRI? Yeah, whereas the guys light up like a tiger seeing us, a wounded gazelle. And these chicks kind of like, meh.

1:27:19 Drew I do that, yeah, whatever.

1:27:20 Adam Yeah, I'll hold still. Yeah, imagine what it's like now, chicks, chicks being us. See what I'm saying?

1:27:28 Drew A man thinks about sex like eight times a minute or something, women it's like eight times an hour. And even then it's a different context without the drive and the hunger and stuff.

1:27:36 Caller Is that a new sweater?

1:27:38 Drew You thinking about sex?

1:27:38 Adam I mean, just you're filling it out nice so you've been working out. I can see you've been working out. I mean, obviously you take care of yourself.

1:27:45 Drew That's good time.

1:27:45 Adam I'm like a man who takes care of himself.

1:27:47 Drew I told you, uh-uh, not you and I. Not in that way.

1:27:51 Adam Can I pass along a compliment without giving you a street style reach around? So you drew, he takes, he takes care of himself. He's not, this is, you know, it's attractive older gentleman. I'm just, you know, I'm trying to give you a compliment.

1:28:06 Drew Oh, thank you. Yeah.

1:28:08 Adam Just saying, you look, you know, obviously you work out. You have some pride in your look and people notice.

1:28:14 Drew Well, I thought it was Liz about that.

1:28:15 Adam We are, we're not. Wow, I'm just really, you know, I just noticed you filling out the sweater. That's all. Little, little, little, little of Beth.

1:28:24 Caller Yeah.

1:28:26 Adam Okay.

1:28:26 Drew So women under 20 often don't have orgasm. Most women never have orgasm during intercourse ever. And, you know, you've got to sort of work on that if you're going to ever become orgasmic.

1:28:39 Adam And you, you're having sex since 13, huh?

1:28:44 Drew Which is troubling to us.

1:28:45 Adam Yeah. What's up? Drew, there's new sweats.

1:28:54 Drew Now I'm wearing jeans.

1:28:55 Adam Well, jeans, nice. Nice.

1:28:58 Drew Cause I thought there was cat. Oh, that's you on me? Is that a masculine stain?

1:29:04 Adam It's masculine, I'll get that right out. Yeah, Drew really, really fills out those jeans nicely. Mike?

1:29:12 Caller Yeah, what's up guys?

1:29:13 Adam You're 24, what's going on?

1:29:15 Caller I got a question for Dr. Drew about antidepressants. Okay, I used fluoxetine two years ago for about three to four months and it really messed me up sexually and so I stopped using it with my doctor's permission. Lately, just because of school and stuff, I want to start taking something again now and I was wondering if there's something on the market now that's better for that than others.

1:29:37 Drew Fluoxetine is Prozac. We are, right, yeah. And Prozac shuts you down more than anything. So yes, there are a number of things out there you can try. The ones that are least likely to change your sex drive is Serizone, Welbutrin, or Remeron. All right. And then there's a new one called Lexapro that's very effective. It's less likely to shut you down than the Prozac, but more so than the other three.

1:30:04 Adam Yeah, but good times, you know.

1:30:06 Caller No, not really, actually. Very frustrating.

1:30:09 Drew Sorry about it. Prozac, Zoloft, those shut you down pretty good.

1:30:13 Adam They shut you down, but you know you're shut down and it's frustrating, right?

1:30:17 Drew No, most guys, they don't really realize it. They're like, because I had a friend who was taking Zoloft and he was in therapy and his therapist was like, hey, you gotta go out, you gotta meet with, he's like, mm, mm, mm. He didn't, a year later, he's like, hey, what the hell's going on here? I'm not interested in that, but what, what?

1:30:35 Adam Hi, but I thought you said, or maybe you're saying it with women then, where they're shut down and they know they're shut down and it bothers them.

1:30:42 Drew It bothers them because even physical contact looks like, like, what are they doing?

1:30:48 Adam Right.

1:30:48 Drew It's just so-

1:30:49 Adam They're repulsed by it.

1:30:51 Drew They're almost repulsed. Yeah, almost repulsed by it.

1:30:52 Adam Yeah, it's like my ex-girlfriends, when you talk to them about being with me, they're always like, ugh.

1:30:57 Drew Yeah, they shudder.

1:30:57 Adam They can't get clean. Guys are like, yeah, if I could just hit one more crack at her, that'd be great. And the chicks are like, ugh. Here's the one I like. Here's the one. And guys never give this one. Here's a chick line. What was I thinking?

1:31:14 Drew Yeah.

1:31:16 Adam Guy never said that about a sexual conquest.

1:31:18 Drew No, he's cataloging.

1:31:20 Adam Yeah, maybe he got a little drunk and got with something that may have been a step or two below his normal standards, but he never gives that shiver, what was I thinking?

1:31:30 Drew He knows what he was thinking. But it's interesting, I was with a group. I was working, doing some work for Trojan Kano. I think I mentioned this to you. We were doing some magazine stuff. And in the room was people talking about men and women. And they were talking about what happens when they're having sex. And these women are going, oh yes, I shut my eyes and I feel my whole body and my feelings. The guys are like, huh? And we were talking about how visual guys are. This one guy in the room goes, yeah, yeah, I have to look at body part of them. And she goes, don't you ever close your eyes? He goes, yeah, sometimes when I'm not really into the girl I'm looking at, I have to close my eyes and visualize a part of my old girlfriend that I found arousing.

1:32:08 Adam Wow.

1:32:09 Drew Right?

1:32:10 Adam Yeah, that's how it works. Yeah, but good times. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:32:24 Caller 1-877-889-DATE.

1:32:34 Adam It doesn't air for like another month.

1:32:36 Drew Fabulous.

1:32:37 Adam Yeah, I'm going to...

1:32:39 Drew Thanks for bringing it up.

1:32:39 Adam Yeah, I'll be on the Stern next. Well, I'm telling people I'm out for a couple things. It's Friday. Yeah, Stern Thursday, I think. Sitting in for a couple hours. So, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:32:51 Caller What?

1:32:52 Adam All right, nude housekeeping, Drew. Don't play stupid.

1:32:55 Caller What?

1:32:56 Caller What?

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Tuesday, March 16, 2004