Episode 1000596206531

0:52 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:05 Voiceover Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-

1:09 Adam Dr. Drew, board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Dave Navarro is our guest tonight. Good to see you again, Dave.

1:17 Dave Navarro Good to see you, too.

1:19 Adam We'll talk a little about the Till Death Do Us Part on MTV 10thirties, 10thirties, Wednesday nights.

1:26 Dave Navarro Yeah, in fact, halfway through this program, if you want to turn this off, just turn it on MTV, be my guest.

1:32 Adam You don't have to turn this off. You just turn that on. I was talking to Dr. Drew about Dave's enema episode.

1:42 Dave Navarro That's right. Some episodes. That's the last one.

1:47 Adam A difference between a colonic enema, Drew, first off. More water.

1:50 Dave Navarro The amount of water I was going to go with.

1:51 Adam And I was asking Drew, these women, it's always that same sort of heavy set, Eastern block chick, yes?

2:00 Dave Navarro Not where I go.

2:01 Adam Well, what? What was I looking at?

2:03 Dave Navarro This is like the female roster of the screen actors go, where I go.

2:07 Adam I'm not talking about the clientele. Oh, you're talking about the person who puts the business end of the hose in the Tokai.

2:14 Dave Navarro That is true.

2:15 Adam It's always that sort of, it's that short. You know what, they're sort of the female equivalent to Soviet gym coaches.

2:24 Dave Navarro Yeah.

2:25 Adam You know, they're perpetually 53. Like that person has never been seen at 78 and I've never seen them at 75.

2:32 Dave Navarro The woman who performed mine, I met her like 12 years ago and she looks exactly the same today as she did 12 years ago.

2:39 Adam See, this is what I say about never having a prime. You don't get burned.

2:43 Drew You don't get good, you don't get bad.

2:44 Adam Yeah, I mean there's nothing worse than that, you know, that hot blonde who was the belle of the ball and then you see her at the reunion and she's all sunblasted and the wheels have come off the wagon, you know, years of smoking and lying out of taking a toll. These chicks, they never work.

2:58 Dave Navarro But eventually someone in her life is going to say, you look great.

3:01 Adam And then you'll listen to it. Yeah. Well, this, this guy.

3:05 Dave Navarro I don't know if that day's come yet, but you know, soon enough.

3:07 Adam Are they're hot? Yeah, eventually.

3:09 Dave Navarro Yeah, eventually it's going to get to catch up with her, where she will look better than her peers.

3:12 Adam She'll be 83 and she'll look like she's 59. And someone will tell her she looks great. It'll be, it'll be a long 83 years up until that point. But Dave was getting the, the colonic, not the high colonic. That's a, that's an aftershave, right?

3:30 Drew I was thinking that was, yeah.

3:31 Adam No, high colonic is that, what is that? That goes up further?

3:34 Drew Just more, more fluid, I imagine.

3:36 Adam And what do they put in there, Dave?

3:38 Dave Navarro From my understanding, it's water. It's different temperatures of water. I think sometimes they have saline in them, which I don't really know what that does. But I guess essentially what they do is, for those of you listening at home, it's a tube that gets inserted rectally and they flush your, your colon out. And they have lots of persuasive material to get you to do this.

3:59 Adam Oh yeah.

3:59 Dave Navarro And you go in this, laying around the waiting room.

4:02 Adam And do they, do they, how much do they pump through you? Do they tell you? How do they know when you're done? When the water's clear?

4:07 Dave Navarro You kind of let them know, yes, when the water's clear. But you let them know when you're feeling like you've had enough.

4:12 Adam Oh really?

4:13 Dave Navarro And I like to always push it one step further.

4:15 Adam Yeah.

4:15 Dave Navarro Because I like to live on the edge.

4:17 Adam How long do you stay on the edge?

4:18 Dave Navarro It's about a 45 minute process.

4:22 Adam I've never done it, you know, in a professional environment. I have done it with a jacuzzi jet before. And I can tell you there are medicinal uses.

4:30 Drew Well, I'm not sure that was all medicinal, though. Sort of.

4:32 Dave Navarro Some slightly erotic.

4:34 Drew No, he used it for violent purposes. Payback, violent.

4:37 Adam Yeah.

4:38 Drew Because he'd fill up and spout off.

4:40 Adam Stop me if I'm wrong. I don't know how. I don't know if they put it in and pull it out or how it works. Right. If you got a full load down there, that thing come out like a fire hydrant.

4:49 Dave Navarro It's coming out.

4:50 Adam I mean, it's coming out.

4:51 Dave Navarro It's coming out.

4:53 Adam People, it's not like you're taking a leak after a night of beer drinking or something. It's, you know, you got a steady stream. It's coming out like, you know, what an elephant does.

5:02 Drew Yeah.

5:04 Adam Sorry, Dave.

5:04 Dave Navarro No, but it's actually, me and the doctor, we're talking about how there is really no medicinal benefit to a process such as this.

5:12 Drew It's outside.

5:13 Dave Navarro And that's what he's, I still don't understand the outside, the body part. We were talking about that before.

5:17 Drew When you're developing, your body sort of involutes to form things like your gut and they remain outside your body. Things inside your body bleed when you go in. You're entering into a sterile space. Colon, mouth, esophagus, stomach, that's all outside your body. It's contiguous with the external world. The bacteria live outside, live in there.

5:38 Dave Navarro But it still has to pass through.

5:39 Drew It's a tube. It's just a tube.

5:41 Dave Navarro I know. But what happens when the tube gets, for instance, the same thinking would go with like when there's an artery clog.

5:47 Drew No, that's no, no, no, no, no.

5:48 Dave Navarro You know what I'm saying? Even though that's clearly inside the body. What I'm saying is.

5:52 Adam I don't think he knows what you're saying.

5:53 Drew No, that would be like saying, hey, there's dirt stuck on my skin. I got to know.

5:57 Dave Navarro But what I'm saying is you need to clear the tube sometimes.

5:59 Adam You gotta blow the tube out.

6:00 Dave Navarro But I blow the tube out.

6:01 Adam True.

6:02 Drew It's no different. It's the same as saying I need to clean the dirt off my hands.

6:05 Dave Navarro It's just you die. Certainly do that every day.

6:07 Drew But the thing of the problem with that is you've got bacteria that get on your eye and that's how stuff gets in your body.

6:13 That stuff is outside your body.

6:14 Drew Outside.

6:14 Adam How much? How much for the enema?

6:16 Dave Navarro We're talking about 90 to 100.

6:19 Adam You go to the shrink, you sit there, you lie for 40 minutes, it costs the same.

6:23 Dave Navarro An expensive day is to go to the shrink and then follow it with the enema.

6:26 Adam Oh no, I do it the same. My shrink has enema.

6:29 Dave Navarro So that's a good tip.

6:30 Adam You got to hit it just the right angle and it can be trouble.

6:33 Dave Navarro The interesting thing when I went is there was this blonde woman who did this craniology thing. I don't know what they... It's one of those things. You were seeing those guys that say put out your hand and I'll ask a question and they push down, they can't push it and then they say they do something and then they can push it down all of a sudden and you know they're just actually pushing harder. It's one of those. So the craniology lady comes in and starts rubbing your head and then all of a sudden you can release better. I don't know if the lady flips a switch or something happens. Oh really?

6:59 Adam She pushes like a pressure point and then suddenly you go like a flipper.

7:02 Dave Navarro And I'm not sure if I'm buying into that but let me tell you something. This chick is so hot that comes in and does the craniology.

7:07 Drew That's where you go.

7:08 Dave Navarro It's worth the 90 bucks.

7:10 Adam And probably a lot of hot kooky clientele.

7:18 Dave Navarro I'm married now so for me going to the gym and going to get a conic is like going to a nightclub for me.

7:22 Adam Yeah. Well I was just saying to Drew.

7:24 Drew If somebody is constipated it's an enema and they'll feel better.

7:27 Yeah and that's a good thing.

7:29 Dave Navarro And I believe that you also lose a lot of water weight. You definitely walk out of there feeling skinnier.

7:37 Drew If you use water, H2O only, there's an osmotic pressure for things to come across the colon back into the water. So yeah.

7:45 Dave Navarro So you walk out of there, your pants are looser and in some circles that's a good thing.

7:50 Adam I'm sold.

7:50 I'm grabbing one tonight.

7:53 Drew But that's the issue.

7:55 Dave Navarro I perform them at my place if you would like to after we get it done.

7:58 Adam Listen, all you gotta do is head out tonight and spread your cheeks.

8:01 You're gonna get an enema because it's coming.

8:05 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah. Drew and I played at the World Poker Tour thing, a lot of big celebrities there, a lot of not too big celebrities there.

8:16 Dave Navarro Did you play with anyone that you had been wanting to meet?

8:19 Adam Celebrity wise or poker guy wise?

8:21 Drew I mean, the big the legends of poker were there.

8:23 Yeah, that was crazy.

8:25 Dave Navarro They asked me to do that. But my understanding was you have to win at little tables and move along. It's a multiple day process. I didn't want to commit to that.

8:34 Don't worry, we had to make no such commitment when we were out the first day.

8:39 Adam I was sitting at a table with an actor named Richard, can't remember, from one of the fourth guys from Spin City.

8:48 Dave Navarro Exciting.

8:49 Adam And the dad from Reba.

8:52 Oh, what?

8:53 Adam So, of course, you know, I couldn't concentrate, I was like a school girl.

8:59 Dave Navarro Sound like playing with Pacino or anything.

9:01 Adam I didn't even know who anyone was. And then, of course, all the poker guys, of course, I hadn't heard of them. But here's what I've learned about poker guys. Turns out, not exquisite conversationalists, you know what I mean? These guys play poker. That's what they do.

9:19 Drew At my table, they're very chatty with one another. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Well, they'd play with each other every day. They see each other all the time.

9:26 Adam But was it what you would call stimulating discourse or is it just guys talking about that?

9:32 Dave Navarro If it's like hardcore poker players, a lot of them, that's part of their game is, you know, some guys have a real like stone face. That's their game and they don't want to give away any tells. And then there's some guys are real chatty to kind of distract you from your hand.

9:43 Drew I thought I'd talk about television.

9:44 Adam I was just, here's what I did is I sized up my table and I thought, I'm not going to win A number one, B number two, I don't really want to win because I'm sitting like here's you have to go for the following day for more. Or just that day. Like, here's the deal. You know, when I play cards, it's to get drunk and to fart on people, not to do anything else. It's a social thing. You have a card game.

10:08 Dave Navarro You don't necessarily need to play cards to do that, frankly.

10:11 Adam I know, but here's the thing. If you do the stuff like that Jimmy and I would do without the cards, it would be gay. It's like, I can say, hey, come on over so I can fart on you when you get drunk and I'll fart on you. You got to have some cards and some chips and stuff like that. But see, you invite six, eight guys you like and you end up talking and having a good time and getting drunk and whatever. You eliminate that element of it. It's just you sitting with six, eight guys you're not really going to see again and you're not, you know, you don't know. Then an hour feels like, eh, seems like you've been sitting there for a little while. There's no music playing. There's no, you know, you're not trading stories. So I just figured, look, I ain't going to win. So and even if I do win, I'm not going to, I'm not going to advance to the, to the end. I'm just going to sit here for five and a half hours. A bunch of guys I don't want to sit with. So I'm just going to start betting like an idiot, see if I can get myself out of here. And of course, the three times I did that, let it ride thing on the really bad hand, they flipped a good car.

11:05 Dave Navarro All in to win. All in to win every time.

11:08 Adam I kept winning. But eventually I got out and Drew got out about the same time.

11:12 Dave Navarro That's the problem with the low limit tables when you go down to commerce, because I go down to commerce casino quite often.

11:17 Drew That's where we were today.

11:18 Dave Navarro Okay. So I play down there. I play stud. I don't play hold them. And when you play the low limit tables, you know, a card is, you know, two, four, six dollars. And it's really very cheap to get an X card to better your hand. So like the high limit tables are where, you know, it's really going to hurt you to buy a card if you don't really have a hand. And that's where the real...

11:38 Drew It was $2,000 sometimes to stay in the game.

11:40 Dave Navarro Yeah, that's a big game.

11:41 Adam Oh, yeah.

11:41 Drew Yeah.

11:42 Adam Oh, yeah. It's good times. It's good times. But again, you know, monopoly money.

11:45 Drew Yeah. We were...

11:46 Dave Navarro Was there charity involved?

11:47 Drew Yeah.

11:48 Dave Navarro What was your charity?

11:49 Drew Hillside Home for Children, which by the way, their benefit is this weekend.

11:52 Adam That's right. Not going to that either. I didn't pick a charity. I'm not getting that far.

11:58 Dave Navarro I'm doing Celebrity Poker, whatever that is, with... I'm doing Elizabeth Glazer Foundation.

12:04 Adam Oh, that's... Rachel?

12:07 Yeah.

12:08 Adam You're 18?

12:09 Caller Hi, Dave.

12:11 Dave Navarro Hi, Rachel.

12:12 Caller Dave, first I want to say hello.

12:14 Dave Navarro Hello.

12:15 Caller Dave, I want to say that you and Carmen are the hottest couple ever, and you guys totally deserve each other.

12:20 Dave Navarro Thanks so much, Rachel.

12:22 Caller You're welcome.

12:22 Dave Navarro I agree.

12:24 Caller Very lucky man.

12:26 Dave Navarro I know this.

12:28 Caller My question is, all right, I was raped when I was 16, but I don't feel as traumatized as most rape victims seem to feel. My thought on it is, I'm not going to obsess over it. I'm not going to walk through life saying, oh, I was raped, blah, blah, blah. I was wondering if this is an okay way of thinking or if I should still try to get some therapy.

12:52 Drew Rachel, this is how we know that you are not a good victim, that you had not been previously victimized.

12:59 Caller Okay.

13:00 Drew Is that true? You weren't sexually abused or anything growing up? Nope. Yeah, people that were victimized will often have post-traumatic stress symptoms, they will resurrect everything from the past, and their behavior around the trauma will be sort of predictable. They won't report it, they will hide it from everybody that feels responsible for it, and when it happens, they will freeze. The freeze reaction is something that is sort of indoctrinated into their brain from long in the past. In your case, you had an accident. What happened?

13:30 Caller I was at a party with a friend of mine, and I was drinking, and I fell asleep, and I just went into one of the rooms and fell asleep, and I was a virgin at the time, and I woke up like I had extreme vagina pain, and I was like, what the hell, and this guy was on top of me, so I started punching, kicking, breaking his nose, and all that, and I just lost and went home.

13:50 Dave Navarro Did you really break his nose, Rachel?

13:51 Caller I did.

13:52 Drew Congratulations. Good for you. Thank you. Please everybody, listen to Rachel, listen to how different that story is to the ones we normally get on Loveline.

13:59 Dave Navarro A few, yeah.

14:00 Drew How profoundly different that is. She beats the holy ass out of this guy.

14:04 Dave Navarro A few more pounds of pressure, those bones would have gone right up into the brain. You could have knocked them out forever.

14:09 Drew Next time.

14:09 Dave Navarro But let me, can I also add a tack on some of this? The other thing, Rachel, that I've learned about, you know, not feeling as dramatically affected by a certain tragedy as you would expect to, don't judge your feelings. If you feel the way you feel, cool. Good for you.

14:27 Caller I mean, I'm going to college, making a better life for myself.

14:31 Dave Navarro That's what you got to do. And don't feel guilty for not feeling bad.

14:35 Drew Here's the deal. She's like had a, some sort of acid test for emotional health in the past. Yeah. It's just, there it is.

14:43 Adam Yeah. Well, listen, you can't prevent people, look, you can be parked at a stoplight and some drunk driver can T-bone you. You can't do anything about that in life, but it's how you react to it. Does it destroy your life? Do you drive again? Do you, can you leave your house? That's the part you can control and she passed the test.

15:00 Drew And most good victimizers though pick good victims. This guy's radar was off.

15:06 Adam Wow, he just saw some chick who was passed out.

15:09 Drew But you know, it's uncannily.

15:11 Adam We call those targets of opportunity.

15:13 Drew I say in your world.

15:14 Adam In the business. Yeah. Patrick?

15:17 Yes.

15:18 Adam You're 20, what's up?

15:21 Caller Just first to let you guys know, because I know the way you guys are by listening to you. Before I tell you my story, I am not gay, nor have I ever stuck anything up my rectum ever in my life.

15:31 Oh, whoa.

15:31 Adam Come on, Dave's right. Dave's right here.

15:34 Dave Navarro In the meantime, I can translate the sentence, I'm not gay, which generally translates into I'm gay.

15:41 Adam Here's, yeah, if you protest too much.

15:44 Drew He's gay.

15:45 Adam Here's the guy's question, which smacks of boguosity to me, which is says he's a vegan who joined the Marines and they forced him to eat dairy and it has pain in its butt. This is obviously bogus. I was just looking and I don't even, I never even look at the calls that Bose. There's not a vegan on the planet that would join the Marines. It's a totally different human being. The guys who join the Marines are guys like Patrick. Guys like Patrick aren't vegan.

16:11 Dave Navarro Not to mention the Marines, they wear leather boots. So it just doesn't work for them.

16:14 Adam There you go. Patrick. We'll see you in hell, jackass. They're not all leather anymore, but they have the leather heel and the leather front. They went to a lighter nylon construction, but they do have the leather.

16:29 Dave Navarro Many animals have died in the process of producing that nylon.

16:32 Adam Oh my God, think about the animals that died in war anyway. Just getting shot.

16:36 You know what I mean?

16:37 Adam Oh my God. All right. Let's talk to Randy, who's 17, who's joining the Army. What's the theme, Randy?

16:47 I was in Arkansas for a little while at Job Corps and I met this girl up there named Casey and we've been, we've been, we were together. I went up there when I first turned 16.

16:59 Adam Hold on. By the way, Job Corps is prison with a rake, essentially. It's outdoor prison. Right. It's a look.

17:07 Dave Navarro You go home.

17:07 Adam You either go into prison or you got to go outside and trim, trim brush.

17:12 Dave Navarro Are you able to go home and you're locked down?

17:15 Drew Eventually.

17:15 I'm always unclear about that.

17:17 Adam Can you, Drew, don't talk about the book unless you're going to talk about the book.

17:22 Yeah. What they tell you about Job Corps ain't really, that ain't the truth.

17:26 Adam Well, what did they tell you about Job Corps?

17:28 They told me you can get anything up there and you can do what you want. It's kind of free, but it's not.

17:33 Adam What'd you end up, what'd you do for Job Corps?

17:35 Get on your knees.

17:36 Adam Come back. You took welding?

17:40 Yeah, and machinery.

17:42 Dave Navarro I think probably the interaction with Casey might be a little bit more fascinating.

17:45 Yeah, go ahead. So I got out, we've been hitting off, so anyways, after about nine months, she got pregnant. And now I'm joining this, you know, for my son because he needs a better life than what I'm doing.

18:01 Adam Well, you're 17, you know, it sounds like a great old veteran from Vietnam or something. When you've loved and lost like Randy over here, we've seen friends dying.

18:12 Dave Navarro Then you know what life's really all about.

18:13 Adam Yeah, it's 17. Jesus Christ. Randy. Now, this is what happens, by the way, you guys, you have these lives where you get a little hiccup and a stumble out of the blocks, then you compound everything by cranking out a kid and now you're screwed. Now you're the world's oldest 17 year old. 17 going on 44. You want to join the army for the for your kid. Well, what about you learn welding at the Job Corps? You know, welding is not a bad gig.

18:47 Drew Yeah, but you can become a welder.

18:51 Yeah, that's what I'm doing right now.

18:54 Adam Well, that's the way to hold on a second. First off, what do you think you make in the army? Well, I know I make a lot more.

19:01 Drew A lot more than a welder.

19:03 Dave Navarro It was the question whether or not I'm still.

19:05 Drew Wait, wait, you're still welding for Job Corps?

19:07 No, I'm at a Job Corps. I graduated last year.

19:11 Dave Navarro That's awesome.

19:12 Adam Where do you where you're welding?

19:14 I'm well at my grandpa's shop.

19:16 Adam Well, you got to your grandpa to pay you.

19:19 Well, he is.

19:21 Adam OK, look, here's all here's what I'm saying to you, Randy.

19:25 Dave Navarro Why doesn't why doesn't you just, Randy, why don't you just hang with the kid and be a dad?

19:29 Adam OK, here's the deal. A welder makes a decent hourly rate, especially if you get into a union and you start doing some commercial work, some construction, you'll make 25, 30, 35 bucks an hour and you get all kinds of benefits. You join the army, you're going to get 875 bucks a month. You see what I'm saying? Now he's 17 years old. If he said he wanted to join the army to get a little discipline or to learn a skill or something, that would be all for it. If you're doing it to step up financially, you want to get no higher bracket, going to the army, it's just a little below hobo on the pay scale. I mean, they pay for everything. That's why it's a good deal, but they don't pay you anything. All right, Randy, if he's 17, he's trained as a welder, he'd do his apprenticeship.

20:20 Drew He sounds like a mature 17-year-old also.

20:22 Adam Not mature, grizzled.

20:24 Drew Grizzled, yeah, mature.

20:25 Adam He sounds like an old miner. Get it? Miner. Randy?

20:29 Drew ER.

20:30 Yeah. I'll be making like $1,500 to $1,800 a month.

20:35 Adam What's your grandpappy paying you right now?

20:38 About $8 an hour.

20:39 Adam $8 an hour. It's a minimum wage out here for a welder. Listen, how about you go down to your local union hall, try to get yourself a job as like an apprentice, you know, you're getting like $18 an hour in benefits. You do that for like a year and a half and then next thing you know you become a journeyman and you'll be 22, 23 years old, you'll be running a cruise. All right. Listen, I like...

21:04 Drew Why can't he hear that?

21:06 Dave Navarro I don't know.

21:07 Adam Let me tell you something about being dumb. Dave, listen, not you, but you know dumb people.

21:13 Dave Navarro Yes. I know plenty of them. It works with me.

21:15 Adam I've said it many times on this show. Part of being dumb is not... It's not that you don't have your own good ideas. It's that you don't listen to other people's good ideas or prudent ideas. You know? Look, I'm not going to invent anything. I'm not going to come up for the cure to cancer, AIDS or anything like that. But I will listen. If someone has a good idea, I'll use it. I'll make it my own. I'll get just as much use out of it as they will. And that'll make me smart or at least smart by default. I'm using smart people's ideas. Dumb people can't hear anything but their own horrible. They got a horrible. They got like a bass drum that's just dumb, dumb, dumb.

21:53 Dave Navarro I know. But what do you what does that say about somebody who calls a phone number to a radio station and hangs on hold for 20 minutes and then asks the question and still doesn't hear it?

22:03 Adam Dumb, dumb, dumb. Now that that just becomes.

22:07 Dave Navarro That's like effort to find the answer that you're not listening to. So he gets an A for effort and a D for dumb.

22:17 Adam David Navarro, everybody, better radio host than Dr. Drew in the 10 minutes he's been sitting here. Are we rolling along here? Oh, we are?

22:26 Dave Navarro Yeah.

22:27 Adam Well, there you go. David Navarro here.

22:29 Yes, sir.

22:32 Adam Wait a minute. Did you guys get married?

22:34 Dave Navarro Yeah, we're married. OK.

22:39 Adam We're going to be watching the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on the show on. The on. 2-VE- Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline.

23:28 Dave Navarro Phone number 1-800-LE-1-9-1.

23:30 Adam Dave Navarro in the studio. Dave has joined us. Dave has taken time out of his busy schedule.

23:35 Dave Navarro We're back with Dave Navarro.

23:36 Adam To join us in our studio. We're back on Loveline with Dave Navarro. Part two with Dave Navarro.

23:40 Dave Navarro It's good to be back here, by the way, you guys.

23:41 Adam Really?

23:42 Dave Navarro Yeah, you both look fantastic. I'm serious.

23:45 Adam Well, you know what's nice about this show is we get to see people and we get to, you know, it's nice because, you know, it's like if you see someone every day, you don't notice when they've lost 40 pounds.

24:00 Dave Navarro True.

24:01 Adam It melts off two ounces a day and it's no big deal. We see people incrementally a year at a time, a year and a half at a time. And it's nice. And sometimes we see them heading up and heading down or whatever. I would say Dave and Carmen, we've both felt that we've seen do a nice steady climb with a nice diet of therapy and enemas and everything. I mean, you and Carmen are both sort of felt at least Drew, stop me if you think I'm wrong here.

24:33 Big foundation.

24:36 Adam Both were on the hoppity horse of life. Not quite sure what direction you're going to bounce next.

24:44 Dave Navarro Absolutely true.

24:44 Adam Stabled out a little a few years ago and now it's not enough just to...

24:50 Dave Navarro Now we're living the dream.

24:52 Right.

24:53 Adam And it's nice. So God bless you.

24:55 Dave Navarro Thank you.

24:55 Adam And give our love to Carmen.

24:56 I will.

24:57 Adam Wednesday Nights by the way, which is tonight, 10.30, which is now...

25:00 Dave Navarro Yeah, two minutes from now.

25:01 Adam Two minutes from now. You can...

25:03 Dave Navarro You can tie bow that thing. With that Billy Blanks with...

25:08 Adam T-Bow. Christina?

25:12 Drew What's the matter, Christina?

25:17 Well, pretty much, I've been going out with my boyfriend for a year, and I don't know, I'm very strict on the underwear rule, meaning we have no sex.

25:28 Dave Navarro You mean it doesn't come off? The underwear does not come off?

25:32 Adam Well...

25:33 Dave Navarro How old are you?

25:35 It's embarrassing to say I'm 21.

25:40 Adam And so you're strict on the underwear rule?

25:42 Yeah, because I believe I should save myself till I'm married.

25:46 Dave Navarro Yeah, well, this boyfriend of yours is a very virtuous man.

25:50 Drew Oh no, I think there's more to the story.

25:52 Dave Navarro Is there? Well, if patience truly is a virtue, he's been there for a year.

25:56 Drew Oh, he's hanging in a year, okay.

25:57 Dave Navarro That's what I'm, yeah, I'm just saying.

25:58 Drew How old is he?

25:59 He's a year older than me, so he's 22.

26:01 Drew 22. And so what's going on now?

26:05 Well, me and him got kind of like really into it at one point and pretty much my panties were off and he was on me and we were grinding and half of his penis went in me, half of it. Which part?

26:22 Adam The middle?

26:22 Dave Navarro The good half?

26:24 I don't know.

26:25 Adam Do that to try to get a little...

26:26 I wasn't found here looking for it.

26:28 Adam Just to get a little feeling.

26:29 Dave Navarro Okay, so what happened? This is, turn the lights in here for a minute.

26:33 Pretty much I pushed him off and because I was scared.

26:39 Drew Scared of what?

26:40 I don't know, just like I don't know at the moment it hurted and I was scared.

26:45 Adam By the way, I don't want to correct you, but it's hurted it. Hurted it? It done hurt it.

26:50 Dave Navarro Was it fear or was it excitement? Sometimes the two can...

26:54 Pretty much.

26:56 Drew Fearful, fear.

26:57 Yeah, so I don't, my question is...

26:59 Adam Christina.

27:00 I don't know if I'm a virgin here or...

27:03 Adam Let's just say you are, but...

27:06 Drew Yeah, we'll give you a pass.

27:08 Dave Navarro Yeah, was there a hymen, I guess if there's a hymen breakage...

27:11 Adam Where's the hymen?

27:12 Drew Well, for us...

27:12 Dave Navarro It's got to be busted by now anyway through some other event, right?

27:16 Drew Our whole thing is did the penis cross the plane?

27:19 Adam That's how mine went. Drew, you know that's how mine went, right?

27:22 Drew I know. I'm sorry.

27:23 Dave Navarro I love when you tell that story, though. We should get into that later. It's a good story. It's a good story.

27:28 Adam It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story.

27:53 Caller It's a good story.

27:54 Adam It's a good story.

27:55 Caller It's a good story.

27:56 Adam It's a good story.

27:58 Dave Navarro It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story.

28:01 It's a good story. It's a good story. It's a good story. He starts pretty much telling me not to hang with his friends because he doesn't trust his own friends, and I don't know, it's weird.

28:15 Drew No, it's not weird, he shouldn't.

28:19 Adam Okay, but what about your family? Your parents together?

28:23 Yeah, they're together.

28:24 I grew up with a big family.

28:27 Drew How many?

28:28 All together, five.

28:29 Drew Okay, and were you living in the country or something?

28:32 Adam All together, five?

28:34 Yeah, well, no, all together, no, my brothers and sisters.

28:37 Adam That's a huge brood, Drew.

28:38 Drew Do you mean you have four brothers and sisters?

28:39 My brothers and sisters, five, and my mom and dad, so that all together was seven of us, but...

28:44 Adam I see, okay.

28:45 Drew Did you live in the city?

28:50 Adam Did you guys make your own dairy products and stuff? No, it's not like that. I just want a picture.

28:57 No.

28:57 Adam Okay, so you didn't churn your own butter, you never had any head trauma, and you weren't raped at nine.

29:02 No, I was not raped at nine, no.

29:05 Adam I don't know, I'm just an old fashioned, simple, religious person.

29:10 I'm not religious, actually. I'm not. It's kind of weird. It's just most likely the respect, you know, because I want to lose it to someone that I love.

29:22 Drew Yes. We get that and we respect that and we admire that. But our question is, why in the face of this mishap do you have such difficulty sort of processing what happened? You need such reassurance. It was sort of an accident happened and sort of nearly violated as something that was important to you. You're a 21 year old woman. Why couldn't you sort of make sense of that for yourself, with your friends? You have friends?

29:51 I have just a couple of close friends, not really.

29:55 Drew So understand we're not at all taking issue with your value in remaining virgin. We are taking issue with why, in the face of mishap, it was so overwhelming to you. You sort of can't process it. Like, oh my god, what happened to me?

30:09 Adam Do you think she goes to school now? She goes to work? She works with stuffed animals or something. Christina? What do you do for a living?

30:21 Actually, I'm going to Olympia College for massage therapy.

30:26 Dave Navarro Nice. That could really parlay into something special.

30:29 Adam And a virgin will fetch you an extra couple of bucks if you're a virgin. I do that.

30:35 Dave Navarro There's an opening in Koreatown, actually, at this one place I know.

30:39 Adam I always get charged more for virgins.

30:40 Drew Do you? You pay more. You pay more.

30:43 Adam Here's the problem. I've gotten the same virgin like 26 times.

30:48 Dave Navarro I know, but you've only gone in halfway, so it's still okay, right?

30:51 Adam And again, I start in the middle. I cock up and then expand. All right. Go to massage school.

31:00 Drew You're fine, Christina. Just relax.

31:01 Relax, relax, relax.

31:02 Adam All right. There's something going on with her. I don't know what it is. Joseph? Yes. Sorry, Dave. Do you have a question?

31:09 Dave Navarro No, I was just going to suggest the other half.

31:11 Adam Oh, the other half of the penis?

31:12 Dave Navarro Yeah. And see what that does for her. Yeah.

31:15 Adam Joseph?

31:16 Dave Navarro Yeah.

31:17 Adam That'd make a hole. There'd be trouble then. What's up, baby?

31:21 Caller I'm doing all right. I'm at work right now. You're 22. I got a question in relation to my girlfriend who lives in Florida. And I met her. She flew down here once to visit and then she left. And she's kind of an insecure person. And I've been having troubles with her and her mom because her mom beats her and does drugs and she's an alcoholic.

31:40 Drew Oh, boy.

31:41 Caller So I'm not going to have my girlfriend who I really love. And I've been dating for like eight months. I'm not going to ever deal with that.

31:46 Drew Hold on a second. Hold on. Hold on. How many days have you been in the presence of your girlfriend? Total.

31:52 Caller Total.

31:52 Drew Face to face to face in her presence.

31:55 Caller I've been with her for days.

31:57 Drew Why is about 15, 15 days.

32:00 Caller Yeah.

32:01 Drew That's not a whole lot of days when you declare your love and the length of time of this relationship. Keep in mind that you really don't know this woman.

32:08 Adam Yeah.

32:08 Drew Your girlfriend. You really don't know her. And she's comes from a very serious chaos. She's going to need a lot of work.

32:15 Adam Yeah.

32:17 Drew Would you guys meet on the Internet or something?

32:19 Adam We're just going to go over like Mike Tyson raising his tigers. You know what I mean? It's like hey, they're crazy.

32:24 Dave Navarro What are the ages? Because I don't have a screen in front of me.

32:26 Drew 19, 22. She's 19, he's 22.

32:29 Dave Navarro She needs to get the hell out of there. She's 19.

32:31 Drew Well, she will. I'm sure she'll run away. She's being abused. That's what's going to happen.

32:34 Adam That's not considered abuse in Florida.

32:35 Drew It's also not considered running away at 19.

32:38 Dave Navarro It's called child raising.

32:39 Adam It's upper middle class. Florida, the alcohol and the beatings.

32:44 Caller Yeah, her mom drinks a lot and then tells her how worthless she is and then she beats her.

32:50 Drew Yeah, she's 19. She needs to get out of there.

32:51 Dave Navarro Yeah, at 19 if someone's beating me, you know, they're going to get beat back and I'm out of there.

32:56 Adam Did I had the same deal with my penis, by the way, Joseph.

33:00 Drew Yeah.

33:01 Adam How did you meet her on the Internet?

33:03 Caller I actually met her through a friend that I know who lives in Florida. He's a meteorologist and he met this girl and then so he called me up and told me about her and so I called her and we started getting to know each other.

33:22 Adam What do you do?

33:23 Dave Navarro If she becomes like a weather, you know, he's going to be a meteorologist.

33:29 Drew The friend.

33:30 Dave Navarro Because I always thought like a newscaster or like a weather woman would be kind of hot as your girlfriend.

33:33 Adam Oh, it would.

33:34 Dave Navarro The big hair and the suits and the whole thing.

33:36 Adam No, yeah, she's going to she's going to be a crack whore. But he is going to be a meteorologist.

33:42 Dave Navarro That could be good, too, though.

33:43 Adam That has its perks. Joseph.

33:46 Dave Navarro Either way, you win, dude.

33:47 Adam What do you what do you do for a living? She's Dave. When we hear here, when you hear this, when you hear right now, what do you do for a living, Adam? Well, me, me right now, right, right now, right now, it's never run my own law firm. Right. Right now. You don't want to hear right now, like, here's what you don't want to hear. When your daughter brings home a guy, she said.

34:15 Dave Navarro Why do we cut them off, though?

34:16 Drew To talk about it.

34:17 Adam Because we're bored.

34:18 Dave Navarro But my question is, what if you said, right now, I'm just expecting to finish this degree in medicine, so I can go on to. It's not going to be that.

34:25 Drew People don't say that.

34:26 Dave Navarro Right now, I'm just about to kick the bar.

34:27 Adam No, no. It's never. It's not that right now. Well, right now, I'm just finishing touches on my astronaut training and then I'll be ready to go into orbit. Never. Joseph.

34:38 Caller Yes.

34:38 Adam Right now. What are you doing?

34:40 Caller I'm a custodian at ASU.

34:41 Adam All right. So you're a janitor at the college.

34:45 Caller Uh-huh.

34:46 Dave Navarro And that's a program where you can pay for your education, right?

34:49 Drew No, he's not.

34:50 Caller It's a lot cheaper than an actual student pays for it.

34:54 Adam No, but you're not a student there.

34:55 Caller No, not yet.

34:57 Adam Yeah. But it's going to be not right now.

34:59 Drew Right now, I'm not a student.

35:00 Adam No, it's going to be like.

35:01 Dave Navarro This is a guy with motivation.

35:02 Adam It's going to be like Good Will Hunting.

35:03 Dave Navarro It's not?

35:04 Adam It's going to be like Good Will Hunting. All right. Joseph. Yeah. Here's the whole thing. And I'm sure Dave will want to chime in on this one, which is. And this is to all you guys out there who are going to go to the pound and save a kitten. It's a great impulse.

35:21 Dave Navarro Yeah.

35:22 Adam But keep in mind, someone like this, A, they grew up in Florida, so that's already years of therapy just to get them right, just to get them to be able to assimilate into the outside world. And number two, you got the abuse of alcoholic moms beating them and you're hanging out for it. Yelling and that they're no good, which by the way, what year is the mom from, the forties? You're no good. No count? The point is, is you get this one. She may look great. She, you may just think, look, all she needs is a shoulder to cry on and a place to feel like she's secure. This will be a handful for you.

35:54 Dave Navarro In the future, let me just tell you this.

35:56 Adam Things will come up.

35:57 Dave Navarro My experience of being the rescuer, which is validating because, especially when I'm doing something, in the old days when I was insecure and I didn't feel like I had direction and then there's some young, you know, helpless little doe out in the forest that needs me to protect her, you know, then I feel validated and I feel strong and I feel like I have value and worth. And then at the end of the six months later, she's banging one of your friends. I'm looking, yeah, and I'm looking, trying to help a man get her out of here.

36:22 Adam He's banging Perry Farrell, yes, if that's something he's into. He does like the gals sometimes, right?

36:31 Dave Navarro He's married with another kid on the way.

36:33 Adam All right. Well, there you go.

36:34 Dave Navarro Two kids, one on the way.

36:35 Adam Holy Christ, how does that work? You know, I ran into today. All right. So the answer for Joseph, God bless you, but be careful. You've only known her for 15 days and there may be trouble. Don't crank any kids out.

36:48 Dave Navarro Also, the other thing is school, you may want to re-evaluate a person that you're hanging out with that's putting up because basically what's happening is this woman that he's dating is sending the message to her family that it's OK to treat me like this.

37:02 Adam Right.

37:02 Dave Navarro And I don't know if it's necessarily the healthiest thing to get involved with somebody long distance that is sending that message to the people in her family. I was a handful there, pal.

37:11 Adam You know, I ran into today at the poker tournament. No, Jim Rose from Jim Rose, a sideshow.

37:18 Drew I didn't see him.

37:19 Adam Well, he's not a big man and he wouldn't recognize him without his balls pulled over his head.

37:25 Dave Navarro See, I didn't talk about dealing cards. This guy has, you know, he's a winner with that.

37:30 Adam I don't know what the hell he Jim Rose, Jim Rose from this side show is he's a guy started the whole Lollapalooza, put the nail through the scrotum sack stuff and pick up the anvil with the penis and everything. And first off, we had this very corporate conversation about puppetry of the penis, which is nice. Like, hey, Adam. Yeah, it was great. Adam, how you doing, buddy? Jim Rose, where we met with Korn in San Francisco. Oh, yeah. Hey, how you doing there, bud? Yeah, good. Hey, what's what's doing? Are you still doing the side show? No, I've got taste of puppetry of the penis. Oh, that was you. Well, you know, we were doing the same thing. So I don't know the name, but I'm in for a taste. Fantastic. That's great. So every time a guy takes a taste of puppetry of the penis dork and ties into a sheep shank, you get a buck fifty or how's that? That's not work. I had a very corporate conversation with him about puppetry of the penis.

38:24 Dave Navarro And so but the last time I know if you want to say that he's in for a taste of that, though, it's probably probably should have said reevaluate that.

38:31 Adam Yeah.

38:32 Drew What his percent?

38:33 Yeah, no, that works.

38:37 Adam He said so, you know, the last time I was in San Jose, last time I saw Jim Rose, I was with Korn in San Jose, somehow bringing Korn out on and some record store. Jim Rose came out behind me and promptly tied his dork into a knot in front of a bunch of 13 year olds. Then there was a big lawsuit, I got called by the San Jose Police Department a week later, but he beat the lawsuit, it just cost a few grand.

39:10 Dave Navarro Good for him.

39:11 Adam Yeah, listen, he landed on his feet.

39:15 Dave Navarro God bless him, you know.

39:16 Adam Yeah, his wife shoots fire out of her vagina.

39:19 Drew You discovered that that night, yes. That was the night you learned that.

39:22 Adam Yeah, we got to go to break, but I just got to tell you, I was sitting around a quiet moment with Jim Rose in San Jose, and I said, Jim, what's it like for you? I'm out on the road 300 days out of the year. What about your wife? Do you miss her? Don't you want to go home? She's with me. Oh, she goes out on the road with you. Yeah, she shoots fire out of her vagina.

39:41 Dave Navarro I think they have something for that, right? Dose of penicillin or?

39:45 Drew When you actually see flames, though, it's a different matter.

39:48 Adam That's nice.

39:49 Drew And look into it.

39:50 Adam The kids come too.

39:51 They watch this.

39:53 Adam Yeah, whether they blow darts out of their ass at the model airplanes at BuzzFly. That's beautiful. So saw Jim Rose. Dave Navarro here tonight. Yes, sir. Till death do us part right now on MTV, Wednesday night, 1030. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

40:28 1-800-LOVE-191 Hey, everybody.

40:31 Adam This is Dr. Drew Dave Nefaro. And I'm Dave Navarro. Yeah, Dave Navarro, joining us in studio tonight, Dave Navarro.

40:38 Dave Navarro We're back.

40:39 Adam Welcome back.

40:40 Dave Navarro Thank you.

40:41 Adam You can help me welcome back, Dave Navarro.

40:44 Dave Navarro I like that. After this, you do a voicemail for me, an outgoing message.

40:48 Adam An outgoing message?

40:49 Dave Navarro Yeah, that'd be nice.

40:50 Drew Just a second, do we have to check some weather?

40:52 Adam First, we got to check the weather, 63 degrees, and also got to 63 coming in to Carson City. South Van Nuys checking in at 63, Laguna de Gal, 63 degrees, a big 63 degrees in Carson, Canoga Park coming in at 63 degrees, Studio City, 63. I like when they mix it up, checking in, coming in at, checking in at, like the goddamn city of Canoga Park all checked in at 63 degrees. Don't these guys just feel like tremendous a-holes when it moves a degree and a half and they cover several million square acres, you know, and they go like Orange County checking in at 59 degrees, Van Nuys coming in at 60, it's 59 in Simi Valley. You've just covered 250 square miles and they've gone up a half a degree. Really? All over? Now you're going for a fourth. Here we go. Santa Clarita coming in at 59.

41:48 Drew They'll go from Santa Barbara to Oceanside.

41:50 Adam Oceanside coming in at 59 and a quarter. One just start breaking up into fractions. I'll give you more to do. Slow and go on the 110. Look out for brake lights. All right. Well, now that everyone's gotten a whole s-load of information they don't need, I can work on killing another hour and getting a paycheck.

42:08 Blah, blah, blah, blah.

42:13 Adam It's 759. That is one minute away from the top of the hour, eight o'clock straight up. I like that. I love that. When they start getting in that, when you start getting into math, that means you've got nothing to say. Like when you, like when you, it's them saying it's 745. That's 15 minutes away from the top of the hour.

42:36 Drew It's really the equivalent.

42:37 Adam It's equivalent of you going out on a date and going, I'm going to have the linguine and clams. What I'm not going to have is I'm not going to get the chili size. I'm not going to get the antipastas. Like, do you got to go over the whole goddamn menu and say what you're not getting? Just say what it is. Oh, that's unclear. You drive in your car? 745. I wonder what he means by that crazy ambiguous message. 745. Is it military time? Where could I be right now? Jesus Christ. What's wrong with radio, Dave?

43:16 Dave Navarro I'm learning as we go right here.

43:18 Adam That's right. And I'll tell you what.

43:20 Dave Navarro You're doing a good job.

43:21 Adam Thanks. You've kissed the right ass, my friend.

43:23 Dave Navarro I know where to go.

43:24 Adam David Navarro, Kissing Ass and Stu, didn't I? Put your cheeks together. We're going to hear something off Jane's Addiction. Where'd you think of that name? It's a kooky name. I love that name. That's a great name. Anyway, hoping to get Jane in from the band possibly next week. She's a delight. We're going to hear something off the CD. The CD is called Stray. It's got a picture of the guys up front. Don't see Jane.

43:49 Drew Now we've got to go break.

43:50 Dave Navarro You look at that picture carefully. Yeah, you would think that that's an acoustic album where we, I don't know what happened there.

43:56 Adam Oh, but contrary, it rocks.

43:58 Dave Navarro It looks like a Dave Matthews album cover.

44:00 Adam Yeah, it does.

44:01 Hey kids, I hate to interrupt, but how long is the song?

44:04 Adam Drew was talking too much. We can't hear the song.

44:07 Dave Navarro We can pass on the song. Let's go to the phones.

44:09 Adam No, we'll go to, when we go to, we'll take a call, we'll go to break, then we come back, we catch up with Dave Navarro. Jane's addiction. We hear the song.

44:17 Dave Navarro Jane coming down, Jethro in pink.

44:22 Adam Molly from Molly Hatch. It's coming by on Tuesday.

44:26 Drew Scott 25.

44:27 Dave Navarro A lot of guys tonight, I'm noticing.

44:30 Adam All right. We can fix that, Dave. Let's talk to Linda. Linda, Line 5. Linda is 17. That's 23 years old.

44:41 Caller 23 away from 40.

44:43 Adam That's three away from 20. What's up, baby doll?

44:47 Hi, I'm kind of like emotionally detached from everything and I don't really know why.

44:54 Dave Navarro Because you're 17.

44:56 Drew Something new happening or you've always been that way?

44:58 No, well, it's been going on for probably like a year.

45:02 Drew What do you mean by detached?

45:04 Like I have like there's people I know at school and when we go out, it's like I don't really want to be there.

45:14 Dave Navarro Well, you don't want to be anywhere else either. I know that feeling.

45:18 Adam Well, is that just depression?

45:20 Drew Yeah.

45:21 Dave Navarro I was just about to go with the old SSRI discussion.

45:26 Adam So how about it, Linda? Maybe you're a little bit depressed.

45:30 Well, I'm not really sure because sometimes I get a little depressed. Like I just withdraw from everything and I don't want to do anything.

45:38 Drew You know, that's getting severely depressed, but just the lack of enjoyment in previously enjoyable activities is a sign of depression.

45:44 Dave Navarro Yeah, depression isn't necessarily like being legitimately bummed out all the time. It can be very, it just can show itself in disinterest and you know, even the choice you'll look, we can go to the dentist or we could go to Disneyland and you don't care which one you go to. That's depression.

46:01 Adam Yeah.

46:02 Dave Navarro You might want to see a psychiatrist about that.

46:08 It'd be good looking at one that really wouldn't.

46:11 Drew Then maybe tell somebody at school to counsel a teacher or something.

46:14 Adam You might be able to tell your parents, you just, you feel tired and you don't, you don't feel like you're enjoying things.

46:18 Drew You can just go see a doctor, say, listen, I don't feel good all the time and they'll take you to any family practitioner or internist who should be able to ferret this out as depression. So yeah.

46:26 Dave Navarro Tell them that you're depressed and you want to see a psychiatrist and the other option is that you could take up the drums and they will drive you right over to the office. Promise.

46:36 Adam We'll take a break. David Navarro in the hissy tonight. Him and James Electra got a marriage show out there and a lot going on. We're going to take a quick break. We're going to hear a slice off his new pizza that he dropped this dish just the other day. We're going to cut some vinyl, cut some wax, all after this. Alright guys, here's the deal.

47:03 Caller Look in the hookup, call the Dateline. Stick a waist in time with the wrong person, call the Dateline.

47:08 One call is all you need to make.

47:09 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:10 Caller 1-877-889-DATE. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

47:48 Adam Hey everybody, it's Loveline. Welcome in Dave Navarro, back on the Loveline scene.

47:55 Dave Navarro I'm learning through this book that forearm skin makes a real good surrounding replacement.

48:00 Drew That's not skin, that they take the muscle and the arteries and everything, and it becomes, they turn it into a penis.

48:04 Dave Navarro It turns into a penis.

48:06 Adam Drew, when Dr. Alter, the guy who lops off penises and puts vaginas that look like that.

48:13 Drew Here's how they created it.

48:14 Adam M80s.

48:14 Dave Navarro Oh, that's incredible.

48:16 Drew Sorry, I'm sorry.

48:17 Adam But Drew, with the book.

48:18 Dave Navarro I'm much happier with the size of my forearm than my penis. Maybe there's something I could do about this. I call this guy.

48:24 Adam Plus it's great for like opening car doors, peeling things. Drew, let me just say real quick with the book. Here's the two rules of the book. You either gotta put the book away. Or you gotta set it up. Drew likes to set, we have this book that Dr. Alter.

48:43 Dave Navarro Yeah, I just went into it.

48:44 Adam I was explaining, that is the most grotesque book you've ever seen in your life. It is really, it's like one of those war injury books. It's a textbook about being transgender, just cutting off penises. Drew will set it out so the guest can find it. The guest will never leave.

49:02 Dave Navarro This is a prompting to...

49:04 Adam Yes, he's hooked you up to a tumescence monitor by the way.

49:06 Dave Navarro The funny thing is for the past hour I've just been looking at it without saying a word about it.

49:12 Adam Dave, the results have not been good for you by the way. You just took a look at the graph. It's off the charts. But the point is that Drew will put the book out. The guest will inevitably flip it open. And then halfway into a call, the guest goes, Oh my God, look at that. And then Drew goes, Yeah, did you see that? And then he points and bangs the mic and no one knows what he's talking about. So Drew, here's what I'm saying. You either got to put the book away or you got to set it up.

49:35 Dave Navarro Or we can make this just like, you know, a firm setup for whenever you don't know what a guest is talking about. It's more than likely this book that we're discussing.

49:42 Adam Oh, yeah, that's right.

49:44 Dave Navarro And for those of you at home, it's called Reconstructive and Plastic Surgery of the External Genitalia.

49:49 Drew And it's a quick.

49:50 Adam It's a fast rate.

49:50 Drew I just I can't. I can't.

49:53 Adam Coming out on cassette.

49:54 Dave Navarro I adult in pediatric. They cut apart.

49:57 Drew You were just looking at some pediatric stuff there.

49:59 Dave Navarro That was kind of hot.

50:01 Drew I also pulled something off the web, a Yahoo headline that oral sex is an article coming out tomorrow. Oral sex linked to mouth cancer. That's all I get a word virus.

50:12 Adam Oh, really?

50:13 Drew So.

50:15 Adam Oral sex for the fellas or for the gals or either way. Either way.

50:19 Drew And I mentioned that to and she went off. Fantastic.

50:22 Adam Yeah. So she's off.

50:23 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

50:24 Adam All right. It's back to the hand. Put on the plate text glove and get back to love. All right. Let's hear something from Jane's Addiction. Of course, Dave Navarro, a big part of Jane's Addiction. How did Jane's Addiction and then Red Hot Chili Peppers and then back to Jane's? Is that basically how it went?

50:51 Dave Navarro Yeah. And that, in fact, we were discussing outside. That's kind of what's leading me to where I'm sitting today. But, yeah, I started with Jane's when I was about 18 years old, went into Chili Peppers for about five years, left and went back. And here we are.

51:07 Adam How much better a guitarist are you now at 36 and you are at 18?

51:14 Dave Navarro I think that my sensibilities are better, but I think that I was technically better at 18.

51:18 Adam Really?

51:19 Dave Navarro Oh, yeah, because at 18, I'm practicing all the time. Really? And now I don't pick up a guitar unless I'm playing with other musicians. And I think that there is a sensibility that comes from playing with other musicians on a continuous basis that, I don't know, it creates a sensibility to music and to hearing things better.

51:35 Adam But technically better at 18.

51:37 Dave Navarro Technically I could do things at 18 that I can't do now.

51:39 Adam Just because you would lock yourself in your room for hours and not stop until you got it right? Yeah. All right. Well, here is the technically poor Dave Navarro, but spiritually richer guitarist.

51:53 Dave Navarro I think it comes through.

51:54 Adam And a little song called Just Because.

55:45 Dave Navarro God, was that unbelievable? That was something.

55:50 Adam That is good technical guitaring, Dave. You're being way too modest.

55:55 Dave Navarro A little hard on myself there.

55:56 Adam Way too modest, yeah.

55:57 Dave Navarro Perhaps I want to look at that.

55:58 Adam When did you pick up the guitar first?

56:02 Dave Navarro I was about 11 years old.

56:03 Adam 11?

56:06 Dave Navarro And I didn't look back.

56:07 Adam Had a gift.

56:09 Dave Navarro I believe I took to it, and I think that I worked real hard at it and developed a gift. I don't know if you just have it. I'm not one of those guys.

56:16 Adam And what made you focus so much on it? Other things not going right?

56:23 Dave Navarro Yeah, I think actually I turned to music to kind of just avoid the monotony of life and perhaps some tragic events that happened in my life. It became my friend.

56:33 Adam And when was your first band? Was it Jane's Addiction?

56:36 Dave Navarro No, my first band was in maybe ninth grade. I was with Steve Perkins from Jane's Addiction, and we had a speed metal band and, you know, Yeah, I was around then we started playing the Troubadour. And so I've been really yeah, since high school, just been playing clubs around LA. Oh, man.

56:52 Adam What? By the way, there was always some there was always some guy played the drums in like junior high or something. He's the coolest kid in the school.

56:58 Dave Navarro Steve Perkins was that guy immediately.

57:00 Adam Oh, really?

57:00 Dave Navarro Oh, the coolest guy in school.

57:02 Adam Yeah. All you had to do was once a year, there would be a talent show at school. All you need to do is a drum solo. And you were in for the rest of the year. That was good. That was one year. You got a one year membership of cool.

57:14 Dave Navarro But in the next year, boom, Steve didn't even have to do that because we didn't have talent shows. It wasn't that kind of school. They weren't. They weren't that flexible. It was it was a private school. So all he had to do was walk around with sticks sticking out of his backpack, which created the mystique.

57:27 Adam Right.

57:28 Dave Navarro That he was funny. You know what I mean? So he just became even cooler than, you know, you don't even you have to imagine how cool he is.

57:33 Adam Wow.

57:34 Dave Navarro It's so cool. It's mysterious.

57:36 Adam You know, see, that's the thing. Like once in a while, there'd be that kid who had a had a jersey. But it was like a motorcycle racing jersey or something. And he was the best. Because, you know, you would never see him do whatever he did. I was just explaining to someone about this is much this is a much better plan. And I know you, Drew, you got to explain this to your boys and your boys. I'm going to make them up a backpack. It's going to have it's going to have drumsticks, motorcycle grips. It's going to have like a Tybo boxing gloves. Just hanging off of it.

58:06 Dave Navarro That's the way to go.

58:06 Adam And everyone's going to be like, they're going to be they're going to respect him. They're going to fear him. Girls will worship him. It'll be it'll be great. But like we had one guy at our school. I went to school in, you know, North Hollywood when one guy was in the hockey. Jeff Katz. He wore a jersey.

58:21 Dave Navarro Is that one of those things that no matter how good you can imagine him to be, he's still not quite cool, isn't it?

58:26 Adam He's still no Jeff Katz was still not quite cool. But the best hockey player any of us ever knew, even though we've never actually seen him play hockey, just because it was North County.

58:38 Dave Navarro Yeah, you probably more than likely didn't know any others.

58:40 Adam So of course he owned his own hands down. The best he had to be the best. And of course, no one would ever call anyone on it because he just show up and start he just wears jersey and start talking about hockey. Now he had a hat trick last weekend. Everyone just sit there and go, wow, that's amazing.

58:53 Drew That's cool.

58:54 Adam That's cool. That's what you got to do with your kid.

58:56 Drew Right.

58:56 Adam I don't know what what that would be for your kid, though, Drew. It could be motor sports. Could it could be like, you know, be good. One of those like crazy octagon fighting things, you know, that would be scaring the other kids.

59:10 Dave Navarro Those ultimate fighting challenge things.

59:11 Adam There's always that one kid who was into the martial arts or something.

59:14 Dave Navarro Oh, and he was always the best, too. He could kick everybody's ass.

59:17 Adam Trophies. Yeah, crazy. Yeah, OK.

59:19 Dave Navarro I had a kid in my school when I was growing up who was into martial arts, and he was Asian. Don't even look at him. Yeah, don't look at him. Look away.

59:28 Adam Look at your feet. That's right.

59:32 Dave Navarro And he was like nine years old.

59:33 Adam He weighed 60 pounds, but he was a tornado. OK, Drew, here's what I know your kid to wear. OK, he wears a gi, a full gi, with the belt, you know, the black belt and everything, right? Then, here's the other guy you had to watch out for. The guy wore those Bruce Lee slip-on shoes.

59:50 Dave Navarro This guy wore those.

59:51 Adam That's scary. And if the big toe is sewn into it, look out. That guy, he'll take his foot, put it right on your temple. Inside your temple, you won't even know what's going on. Okay, they got to wear those shoes. Then the backpack with the gloves, the handlebar grips, and the sticks and stuff.

1:00:07 Dave Navarro And a copy of Reconstructive and Plastic Surgery for the external genitalia inside. In case it happens to open up, that falls out, you got it made. You're getting laid that afternoon.

1:00:18 Adam And some kind of headgear with a bandana-based headgear thing going on, too. That's another badass thing. Chicks will worship him, the guys will fear him.

1:00:29 Dave Navarro But you can't do that in high school.

1:00:30 Adam No, high school doesn't work because someone will call you out on it.

1:00:33 Dave Navarro You're asking for trouble.

1:00:34 Adam You'll run into the other martial arts guy with the drumsticks hanging out of his backpack.

1:00:38 Dave Navarro Especially today with the guns and the whole thing.

1:00:40 Adam That goes to junior high. So we've said that's great. Evan?

1:00:48 Yeah?

1:00:49 Adam You're 14?

1:00:50 Caller Yep.

1:00:51 Dave Navarro Are you male?

1:00:52 Caller Yes, I am.

1:00:54 Adam There's no chick Evans anymore, are there?

1:00:56 Caller Actually, I do know one.

1:00:58 Dave Navarro Yeah, I do.

1:01:00 Adam What's happening?

1:01:02 Caller I've got a question for Drew and for Dave. Which one should I get first?

1:01:06 Dave Navarro Bring it, Evan.

1:01:07 Caller This is Dave here. I've been playing guitar for about two years, two and a half years now. I was wondering why you prefer PRS's over Gibson's and Fender's? What's a PRS?

1:01:19 Dave Navarro PRS is, well let's refer to the manual. It will be right in here, Chapter 48. No, PRS is Paul Reed Smith guitar. The reason I prefer those is because they're lightweight, lighter than a Les Paul. And they have a five position pickup switch where I can get a single coil sound out of it. But I can also get the humbucking sound out of it. So it's lightweight and I get a versatile sound out of it.

1:01:41 Adam What's the humbucking?

1:01:43 Dave Navarro I don't know. I never really got into it that much. I just know it sounds fatter and thicker. It's like there's two coils. It's not interesting to your listeners, but I'll answer your question. It's two coils. It's a fatter sound. And the single coil is like a strat sound. And it's a little bit thinner and a little bit less mirish.

1:02:01 Adam Is part of it stuff that you're just used to? You got started with or you like it? You know what I mean? I mean, what percentage of it is, hey, this is the one I play, so it's the one I play.

1:02:11 Dave Navarro Actually, in the studio, I'll play anything that's appropriate for the track. You know, I want a variety of sound, so I'll play whatever I can get my hands on if it sounds right. But live, I need something that's versatile that I can pretty much duplicate those sounds throughout the night, throughout the set.

1:02:26 Adam How about one of those double neck?

1:02:28 Dave Navarro I have one of those.

1:02:28 Adam You do?

1:02:29 Dave Navarro I have a PRS double neck.

1:02:30 Adam Does that work?

1:02:31 Dave Navarro It works great. It's not comfortable to hold.

1:02:33 Adam I see.

1:02:34 Dave Navarro So what I like to do is I play my single neck guitar, but I have the double neck on a stand just in eyesight. They know I have it in, but they can't imagine how out of the backpack. Exactly.

1:02:46 Drew Back to the drumsticks.

1:02:48 Adam Mark.

1:02:49 Caller Evan. Yep.

1:02:50 Adam What's your question for Drew?

1:02:53 Caller My penis is kind of weird. Say you're looking straight down at a picture of a penis like right into the hole and kind of like tilt the picture like 45 degrees and that's kind of what it's like.

1:03:08 Dave Navarro That's a lot of math.

1:03:08 Adam It's got the corkscrew. It's a corkscrew, right?

1:03:11 Caller Yeah.

1:03:12 Adam Well, Drew, you never hear about that. We hear about bending down and left and right, but we never…

1:03:17 Dave Navarro It's going like this?

1:03:17 Adam It's twisting.

1:03:19 Dave Navarro How do you masturbate?

1:03:20 Drew It's twisting as you go along. Okay. All right.

1:03:22 Dave Navarro That's a good question. And how have you been masturbating since you were a kid?

1:03:25 Adam His palm is rifled from the use of doing it.

1:03:29 Caller No, just been rubbing it as any other guy, just cupped hand kind of.

1:03:35 Caller Yeah.

1:03:36 Drew What's your question?

1:03:38 Caller Well, like, what can I do about it? Are there any problems?

1:03:42 Drew Just if you start having painful erection or trouble getting an erection, then you want to see a urologist. But I doubt you will.

1:03:46 Adam I see. Urination must be like laser straight. I mean, you know, like a picturing like rifling and a gun, you know, like it's coming out like a quarterback throwing a football. You know what I mean?

1:03:56 Dave Navarro This could be like a ballistic situation. We can get into some, you know, forensic stuff.

1:04:00 Adam How's that urine coming out? Is it good and straight?

1:04:03 Caller Not quite. Uh oh.

1:04:06 Adam Is that a problem, Jerome?

1:04:07 Drew Are you spraying all over the place?

1:04:09 Caller No, it's not spraying, but it kind of like leans off to the left.

1:04:14 Drew That's all right.

1:04:14 Dave Navarro So if he urinated in public, forensic scientists could trace it back to the penis easily here.

1:04:20 Drew He's been watching way too much.

1:04:21 Caller David.

1:04:22 Dave Navarro It's interesting.

1:04:24 Caller Also, I'm a diabetic and I was wondering if insulin would affect me in any way.

1:04:30 Drew What do you mean affect you? What do you mean affect you?

1:04:34 Caller Well, like, when I do eventually become sexually active, will it affect me in any way?

1:04:40 Drew The insulin?

1:04:41 Yeah.

1:04:43 Drew Do you have an understanding how your diabetes works?

1:04:45 Caller Yeah.

1:04:46 Drew Tell me what you understand.

1:04:49 Caller Well, the insulin is absorbed by the blood glucose absorbers in the bloodstream.

1:04:57 Drew You don't produce insulin, so you're just replacing what your body doesn't make. So how would the insulin cause you trouble?

1:05:06 Caller I don't know, because it's not human insulin.

1:05:08 Drew Well, it's presumably genetically engineered human insulin, right?

1:05:12 Adam We milk it from corpses. Criminals.

1:05:15 Drew What kind of insulin are you using?

1:05:17 Adam Undesirable.

1:05:18 Drew The humo part is human insulin. And the humolog is the ultra-short actin, so you take it for meals, right? And do you understand how the diabetes does its damage?

1:05:32 Caller Pretty much by not having pancreas.

1:05:37 Drew The damage is caused by the elevated blood sugar causes damage to the small blood vessels. And then that then damages the tissue, the nerves, and particularly with your concern with the penis, it can affect the arteries, it can affect the nerves. And if you don't keep very, very tight control of your blood sugar, yes, it will over many years, it will begin to affect your ability to have an erection and or feel anything in your penis even.

1:05:59 Adam We'll have to come cut your leg off.

1:06:01 Drew So the whole point is you must take very meticulous control of your blood sugar. So it's always in a proper range by using the insulin. All right. Right?

1:06:10 Adam Yes. I'm agreeing with you. When it gets out of the range, it does damage.

1:06:14 Drew Yes. Out of a normal range.

1:06:15 Dave Navarro Real quick, let me just ask this. First of all, the reason I asked about the masturbation is I know some, I've heard stories of guys who have, you know, bizarre methods that affect the cosmetic. That can affect the cosmetic function of the penis. But in terms of diabetes, what's borderline diabetic? Because that's what I am and I don't have to take insulin. But I've been told I'm borderline diabetic.

1:06:38 Drew There is no such thing.

1:06:39 Dave Navarro So I am diabetic.

1:06:40 Drew There's a threshold you're either over or you're not. It's a fasting blood sugar.

1:06:43 Adam What if he's near the threshold?

1:06:44 Dave Navarro Then maybe that's what it means.

1:06:46 Drew How was that judged? How did that happen?

1:06:48 Dave Navarro It was just done. It was a blood test five years ago. Maybe this is something I want to talk about off the air.

1:06:53 Drew Fasting blood test? Fasting blood test?

1:06:56 Dave Navarro I wouldn't know. No, it's not fasting.

1:06:57 Drew Then you can't. It's uninterpretable then.

1:06:59 Adam Really?

1:06:59 Dave Navarro Okay, great. So I'm in the clear.

1:07:01 Adam What's the fasting one?

1:07:02 Drew You have 12 hours to take anything.

1:07:04 Adam No eating?

1:07:04 Drew No eating.

1:07:05 Adam How about the booze?

1:07:06 Drew No booze. And now they have this hemoglobin A1C, which gives an average over a couple of weeks.

1:07:11 Adam So here's what the point is. If you get past this certain mark, you're diabetic.

1:07:16 Drew Right.

1:07:16 Adam But if Dave is up around that mark, Do not. Okay. But he's closer to it than I would be.

1:07:23 Drew Maybe you might want to watch it a couple of times. He wouldn't stay up there.

1:07:27 Adam Would you do anything with your diet or anything at all?

1:07:29 Drew If you were overweight, you would. But if you're not underweight.

1:07:32 Dave Navarro In this case, so in terms of the insulin and the penis issue, his penis would actually probably function better with the insulin.

1:07:40 Drew Oh, absolutely. Without insulin, it will be permanently damaged.

1:07:44 Dave Navarro There you go.

1:07:44 Adam All right. Danielle?

1:07:46 Yeah.

1:07:47 Adam You're 19?

1:07:47 Caller Uh-huh.

1:07:49 Adam What's up?

1:07:51 I didn't already answer this question.

1:07:55 Drew What's that?

1:07:56 Dave Navarro Maya Angelou?

1:07:58 Maya Angelou?

1:07:58 Dave Navarro Is that what you just said?

1:08:00 Adam She said didn't we already answer this question?

1:08:03 No, I just thought.

1:08:04 Drew We don't know your question.

1:08:06 Oh, Dr. Smotherguy, it sounds the same. I have a hard time getting orgasms. I have gotten like maybe two.

1:08:15 Adam Boring.

1:08:17 Caller Boring.

1:08:18 Adam Are you drunk?

1:08:19 Caller No.

1:08:20 Adam This is how you always are?

1:08:22 Caller Yeah. I'm boring?

1:08:27 Adam No, no. Do you have a boyfriend?

1:08:32 Caller Yeah.

1:08:33 Adam You do?

1:08:33 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:08:35 Adam Are you eating something now?

1:08:37 Caller Chewing gum.

1:08:39 Adam Okay, could you spit that out for just a moment? Thanks, baby doll. Oh, man, you got to send your gal to whatever finishing school. We'll get that off the air.

1:08:50 Caller Finishing school?

1:08:52 Dave Navarro Did you guys catch that Super Bowl halftime show?

1:08:54 Caller That was fantastic.

1:08:56 Dave Navarro That was something.

1:08:56 Adam Danielle?

1:08:58 Caller Mm-hmm?

1:08:59 Adam Does your boyfriend give you oral sex? And first off, let me apologize for calling this late in the evening. We didn't mean to disturb you. Tomorrow's a school day.

1:09:11 Caller No, no.

1:09:12 Caller I finished school today.

1:09:13 Adam Oh, you did?

1:09:14 Caller Yeah.

1:09:15 Adam Finished junior college?

1:09:19 Caller No. I go to photography school.

1:09:21 Adam Oh, photography school.

1:09:22 Caller We have seven weeks of pure stress and hell, and then we get a week to sleep and eat.

1:09:28 Dave Navarro That's great. I would just say, you know what? Relax. Let him do his thing. And all the best.

1:09:32 Adam You've had two. All right. Have the two you've had, have they been with this guy?

1:09:39 Caller One of them. I don't get it because I'm turned on, I'm aroused, it's good, but nothing comes. I don't know what the hell that is.

1:09:51 Drew What do you mean nothing comes?

1:09:52 Adam No, no orgasm.

1:09:53 Dave Navarro No orgasm.

1:09:54 Drew Well, I wonder if she, some people confuse these things.

1:09:57 Adam No, you know nothing comes out of you. She just means, she just means no orgasm.

1:10:00 Caller No, I don't know, but I mean nothing comes out like no orgasm.

1:10:04 Dave Navarro Yeah, are you visualizing the right guys?

1:10:07 Adam You got to picture Dave up on stage with a set.

1:10:12 Dave Navarro You got to get it. What you got to get is that Johnny Depp pirate movie, throw that in the VCR and then go for it.

1:10:17 Caller No, no, you're much better.

1:10:19 Dave Navarro Well, thanks.

1:10:20 Adam Hey Danielle. Here's the thing, oral sex is probably going to be your fastest route to an orgasm.

1:10:32 Dave Navarro And then secondly, Here's another option is to go to a sex shop, get one of those little vibrating deals. Well, if you want solution here or what? So hear me out here. Get one of those vibrating deals, let him do his thing and then you can hold that down on your clit at the same time and something's bound to happen. And if it doesn't, like I said, Dave will buy it off you. I could use that, believe me.

1:10:54 Adam Yeah, you do that underarm, you just get a quick wipe under the arm thing before you hand it to Dave.

1:10:59 Dave Navarro And if that doesn't work, you know, like I said, in fact, for women with this problem, because this is a common problem, I think there are certain stores that sell a package of those vibrating eggs that comes with a copy of the Johnny Depp pirate movie.

1:11:13 Drew Yeah.

1:11:14 Dave Navarro And you know, it's a package and you get it at a special rate and I think that'll work for you.

1:11:20 Adam Yeah. Costco is really obviously a good deal. You know, I want to ask you something.

1:11:25 Drew Shut up.

1:11:25 Adam What are you doing photography school, by the way?

1:11:30 Dave Navarro Don't don't go there.

1:11:31 Adam I want to know.

1:11:35 Drew You cut her off.

1:11:36 Dave Navarro That's gone.

1:11:38 Adam What?

1:11:38 Dave Navarro That's it.

1:11:40 Adam Hey Anderson, put her back on the, on the line.

1:11:42 Caller Did you hear her say F you? I had to cut it out, sir.

1:11:44 Adam Oh, I didn't hear her say F you.

1:11:46 Caller Yeah, she said, oh, I heard her say, I heard her say shut up and she said, oh, F you.

1:11:50 Adam Oh, she, but she said the whole word.

1:11:52 Caller She's a horrible person. We shouldn't talk to her.

1:11:54 Adam She's a, she's a, she's a, I think it's safe to say she's a horrible person. And now listen, when I ask if someone's drunk, this is me giving them, they're out.

1:12:03 Drew Yeah, she's been loaded to me.

1:12:05 Adam Because, A, they, they're, listen, your speech is slurred, you're bitch and a half, and you have the attention span of a Duraflame log and you're stone cold sober, that's brain damage now.

1:12:16 Dave Navarro Yeah, no wonder you can't have an organessm. Yeah, you should pray you're drunk.

1:12:20 Adam More, and forget about booze, make some heroin and speed in there too, you know. It's giving you the out. It's like when a cop goes, is your speedometer broken? Yeah, after you punch your fist through it, yes, it is, all right. Dave Navarro, hanging with the zoo. Hey, Dave.

1:12:37 Dave Navarro Yes, sir.

1:12:38 Adam Can you stick around a little bit?

1:12:39 Dave Navarro Actually, I have to catch a plane. I always love it when they do that.

1:12:43 Adam Okay, Dave, Dave, I know we really appreciate it.

1:12:45 Dave Navarro I've always wanted to say that. I got a plane to catch.

1:12:47 Adam I got to get off the sofa, I understand. Great. Good luck.

1:12:51 Dave Navarro I'm out of here. Once again, Wednesdays, 1030.

1:12:56 Adam Say hi to Jane for me. Carmen, the Electra's, his name in the band are coming to town near you. We'll be right back after this.

1:13:07 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:13:20 Adam I'm Ace, my good partner, Dr. Drew over there. Dave Navarro here from Jans Addiction.

1:13:27 Dave Navarro What's up, y'all?

1:13:28 Adam He's coming to the studio tonight. I'll tell you, these kids can rock. I'll tell you what, right now, this guy swings a pretty mean axe. You know, I'll tell you what, he's got the double-necker up there on stage.

1:13:38 Dave Navarro And it looks fantastic.

1:13:42 Adam What time is it, Drew?

1:13:44 Drew It's 11 31.

1:13:46 Adam What's that, 29 away from the top of the hour?

1:13:48 Drew Yes. Oh, now that's 28 and 45 seconds.

1:13:50 Adam Away from the top of the hour? And that'd be midnight?

1:13:53 Drew 28 and 30 seconds.

1:13:54 Caller That's straight up.

1:13:54 Adam That's straight up. And that'd be eight hours and 29 minutes away from 8 a.m.

1:13:59 Caller What's the date?

1:14:01 Drew 25th.

1:14:02 Adam What is that, three days away from the top of the month?

1:14:04 Dave Navarro 29 minutes from the 26th.

1:14:05 Drew So tomorrow will be?

1:14:06 Adam The 26th. So 29 minutes away from the 26th, which would be two days away from the end of the month, which would be one day away when we get to that point from the first, and then eventually we're all going to die. That's fantastic. All right.

1:14:20 Dave Navarro Let's go to the phones.

1:14:21 Adam Let's go to the phones.

1:14:21 Dave Navarro Let's go to the phones.

1:14:22 Adam Let's go to the phones. Let's go to the phones. It's the top of the... Dave, can you hang out? Can you stay with us for a few minutes?

1:14:27 Dave Navarro Well, what time is it?

1:14:28 Caller What time do you play? What time do you play?

1:14:30 Adam It's 28 from the top of the hour right now. We're going to the plane leaving. I know you're a busy guy.

1:14:34 Dave Navarro Well, it's leaving on the 26th.

1:14:35 Adam Dave's been kind enough to hang out with us here at Loveline Studios. Oh, that's 28 minutes from now.

1:14:41 Dave Navarro I can hang out for 28 minutes.

1:14:42 Adam OK, you got it. You're taking a 727?

1:14:46 Dave Navarro It's a 777. You have to go a little bit faster.

1:14:48 Adam All right, 777.

1:14:50 Dave Navarro 777.

1:14:51 Adam Drew, you know, 777 is from an 800.

1:14:56 Dave Navarro No, you literally just went across it.

1:14:59 Adam 23 away from an 800. That'd be eight o'clock to be straight up to be the top of the airplane. All right, let's get back to the phones. LAX checking in at 59, by the way. It's raining out there. So you may want to wear a jacket. I like that one, too. I like the subtle apparel suggestions. There's a 250 mile an hour wind coming in and hail balls. The size of raccoons. You may want to put on a sweater. Hey, thanks. I was going to go out in a Speedo and Zorries, but you're saying it's minus 28. I should put a jacket on. All right, fantastic. Where were we before these guys put sweaters on and doing the math for us on the clock? Christie?

1:15:41 Caller Yeah.

1:15:42 Adam Hi, Christie. 21?

1:15:43 Caller Yeah.

1:15:44 Adam What's happening?

1:15:48 Caller I have to beg my boyfriend to go down on me and most of the time he still won't do it.

1:15:54 Dave Navarro Have you tried shaving down there?

1:15:56 Oh, I always do.

1:15:57 Dave Navarro Oh, wow.

1:15:58 Yes.

1:15:59 Drew What does he say the problem is?

1:16:00 Dave Navarro Clearly he's gay.

1:16:05 Caller Well, you know, sometimes he'll say like, oh, I don't like to do it because my jaw hurts or something. And then he'll make up some stupid reason.

1:16:12 Caller There could be some funky smell coming from your job. I'm not kidding you.

1:16:16 Caller You know, I even asked for that.

1:16:18 Dave Navarro That was Mr. Perry Farrell.

1:16:19 Adam Mr. Perry Farrell in studio tonight. Oh, no. Wait a minute.

1:16:23 Dave Navarro I love a kid for trying.

1:16:25 Adam Chrissy?

1:16:26 Dave Navarro Yeah.

1:16:26 Adam What's his nationality? Maybe there's an ethnic problem here. Ah ha. That's the number one race. Let me tell you. Let me tell you other races about something. Some of you may be better at basketball. Others better at soccer. We got going down on chicks. Us whiteys. Yeah, that's the number one race for going down on chicks. I'll tell you why.

1:16:48 Dave Navarro I want to know.

1:16:50 Adam We overcompensate. We have the smaller.

1:16:52 Dave Navarro Oh, that's a good point.

1:16:53 Adam Smaller genitalia.

1:16:54 Dave Navarro That's a good point.

1:16:55 Adam We don't look. We don't get the six pack abs. We've got a little hair on the ass. You know, let me tell you something about the black man. He disrobes. He's got no hips. He's got the six pack. He has a smooth brown ass.

1:17:06 Dave Navarro I heard something about that. The reason.

1:17:07 Adam We've got to compensate.

1:17:09 Dave Navarro And this sounds in poor taste, but it's late and it's only 26 minutes to the hour. So in that case, I'll go there. Is it true, and I'm directing this to you, Dr. Drew, that the reason why there is such a high amount, high volume of black sports figures is because when they were shipped here from Africa as slaves, the the lords picked the more physically fit slaves. Is that accurate? Not only that, but it's probably a terrible issue for me to bring up right now, especially when this girl is, you know, clearly has a gay boyfriend.

1:17:48 Adam You got to figure the wimpy ones. A lot of wimpy ones died off, didn't survive.

1:17:53 Drew That's what I'm saying. But there was so much adversity that only the strong survived, too.

1:17:59 Adam So the bros you got left, you got the Viking gene.

1:18:03 Dave Navarro But see what I'm going with this, because this goes back to the white men going down and being much better at it. Maybe what really happened was not that the strongest ones were picked, but the ones with the largest penises.

1:18:15 Adam Interesting.

1:18:16 Dave Navarro That's a twist.

1:18:17 Adam That's another theory of mine.

1:18:18 Dave Navarro Yeah.

1:18:19 Adam Well, Drew, what do you think, David Navarro is a very controversial Dave Navarro. He's got to get your plane in 28 minutes. What do you think, Drew?

1:18:26 Drew I think it's 11.35, 55 seconds.

1:18:30 Dave Navarro Is it possible just the ones with the largest penises?

1:18:33 Adam What about the penis, Drew?

1:18:35 Drew There also tends to be, in warmer climates, people are lengthened out, humans are lengthened out and appendages tend to be longer.

1:18:45 Adam I guess my dad was an Eskimo. Christy? The world's only Italian Eskimo. All right, you are going to have to tell him that he needs to do this because you like it and it's important for him to do things that you like and it's important for you to do things that he likes.

1:19:02 Drew But you're not going to do those things unless he was separately. But then you went ahead and did the things he likes and he's still withholding from you.

1:19:10 Dave Navarro That's the problem.

1:19:11 Drew Don't do the things that he likes.

1:19:12 Dave Navarro When it comes to bargaining in the bedroom, I just think that it's already, that's a recipe for disaster.

1:19:17 Drew That's sad.

1:19:17 Dave Navarro You know what I mean?

1:19:18 Adam Kristy? Yeah. Whereas I like to stick with begging. You don't want to, you want to, you want to.

1:19:24 Dave Navarro Well, begging is okay.

1:19:26 Adam Hey, Kristy, maybe you're 21. How long you been with this guy?

1:19:30 Dave Navarro Gives new meaning to the word tat.

1:19:33 Drew Maybe this isn't working.

1:19:34 Adam I think this one's over.

1:19:34 Dave Navarro Yeah. Thanks for the call.

1:19:36 Drew Yeah.

1:19:37 Adam You've been with him nine months.

1:19:41 Dave Navarro And they've only been together nine months?

1:19:43 Adam Yeah. Forget it.

1:19:44 Dave Navarro Yeah, I mean, this guy is got at least like kick up, you know, the behavior for a good year.

1:19:49 Adam It's a bad sign. Dump him. At nine at the nine month mark, you should be at a dinner table on a Passover with your parents. He should pretend to drop a fork and go down on you under the table, rut rubbing up against your dad's knee. That's where you should be at nine months.

1:20:06 Dave Navarro Nine months is a good, it's always a good place to make that decision. It is because it is the gestation time.

1:20:13 Adam Oh, that's it. It's very symbolic.

1:20:14 Dave Navarro It's a re-birthing process that happens there.

1:20:16 Drew Start over.

1:20:16 Adam Dave Navarro after years of therapy coming in with some serious revelations, Drew. I know he's got to catch a plane in 29 minutes. Here's the thing, Drew.

1:20:23 Drew I have 20 seconds.

1:20:25 Adam Yeah. And also, chicks got a weird thing about once they get to a year, once a relationship gets to a year, it's like it'll go another year even if it was doomed at the end of the first year.

1:20:35 Drew That is true.

1:20:36 Adam It's just symbolically good to say if you break up at nine months, you might as well just be six months. You know what I'm saying? You get past the year, it's like, oh, I wasted a year of my life with this guy. Break it off. I don't like this guy.

1:20:47 Drew Marion 18.

1:20:48 Adam Marion.

1:20:49 Yes?

1:20:50 Dave Navarro Hi, Marion.

1:20:50 Adam What's happening?

1:20:53 I've never had a boyfriend. I've only kissed one guy in my entire life and I just want to know if my dad has any effect on me.

1:21:02 Dave Navarro Yes.

1:21:04 Drew Always.

1:21:05 Adam Yes.

1:21:06 Why?

1:21:06 Adam What did your dad do?

1:21:09 My mom and my dad divorced a couple of months after I was born and he's from Nigeria and their culture is really different. They don't show their emotions or anything. He doesn't show his emotions towards me and I just feel really rejected by him and the entire male.

1:21:25 Dave Navarro Abandonment and rejection.

1:21:27 Drew That's very profound.

1:21:28 Dave Navarro Right off the bat.

1:21:29 Adam But you're lucky he didn't do a little circumcision job on you. We can't judge culturally, all cultures are great, beautiful and exactly the same or just different but none worse than others but you're still lucky to have your clitoris.

1:21:43 Dave Navarro So you got that going for you.

1:21:44 Adam You got that going for you.

1:21:45 Drew Right.

1:21:46 I mean is there any hope for me or anything?

1:21:50 Drew Yeah, of course.

1:21:51 Adam Yes, of course. But look, here's the thing there ladies, your dad is not every man and I know it's hard to unwire that. Most every woman we speak to, if they like their dad, they like guys and if they don't like their dad, they just have sex with a bunch of guys.

1:22:10 Drew Well, also they tend to act out the traumas over and over so she's going to be longing for and attracted to unavailable guys.

1:22:17 Adam But the fact that she's 18 and not acting out.

1:22:21 Drew Is a good thing.

1:22:22 Adam Yeah, why is that you think, Marian? Is there a reason why you're not acting out?

1:22:27 Um, I don't know, I guess watching my other friends and seeing their mistakes kind of makes me stay away, but I guess it is what can I interrupt you, honey.

1:22:37 Dave Navarro There's one thing about that, which it's great. You don't act out and it's great that you don't, you know, sleep around and have, you know, casual sex. But at the same time, it's like, you don't want to run your life based on fear. And another thing is that, you know, if you don't take a chance and you don't learn, you know, you're going to rob yourself of a lot of growing experiences for when the right guy does come around.

1:23:00 Drew And if you can't have a real relationship, then that's time for therapy. That's how that works. That's what could be sort of sorted through potentially very quickly.

1:23:07 Dave Navarro You know, because the way I look at it is like things either work out or they don't. But ultimately, I'm cool either way, you know, but I gain from from an experience.

1:23:16 Adam Marin, we were just floating this theory earlier. Is your dad big downstairs?

1:23:21 Drew Oh, please.

1:23:22 Dave Navarro Well, Dave wanted to know, you know, because that could have a strong impact. Literally.

1:23:27 Adam Here's the deal. How often do you see him?

1:23:30 Caller The last time I saw him was a couple of years ago for Christmas, but I've talked to him and he just acts like he doesn't love me at all. And he has another daughter, but he shows lots of love and affection.

1:23:44 Dave Navarro I hope you understand that that's his issue and has nothing to do with you.

1:23:47 Drew And I bet she feels the same.

1:23:49 Adam She'll be in the therapist's office one day too. Listen, do you have a mom who loves you?

1:23:57 Drew That's good.

1:23:57 Adam That's one out of two ain't bad. And I'm sorry, but yeah, little therapy and whatever Dave said, do it. But here's the whole thing too. If you don't have that dad...

1:24:06 Dave Navarro Get used to the when you I feel phrase and prepare yourself for that because that's going to come.

1:24:11 Adam Here's the thing, young chicks out there, you at 17, 18, 19 are not going to change guys that are in their 40s and 50s. They're going to the grave. If you're going to become that guy who miraculously loves his children, that'll happen about 30 if it is going to happen and it hasn't. And that the windows long since painted shut and the ship has left the harbor.

1:24:37 Dave Navarro Yeah, I mean, the deal is with your dad there is like he's got some issue from when he was younger that's affecting him and how he's able to deal with this. Just like this is affecting you. And it's time to stop the cycle because eventually you're going to have children of your own and you're going to be kind of in this mixed up boat.

1:24:52 Adam That's right.

1:24:53 Dave Navarro Just go take some chances and go meet some people and interact.

1:24:56 Adam I'm going to take a chance and ask Dave Navarro if he can hang around.

1:24:59 Dave Navarro I had to look at the clock.

1:25:00 Adam Can you look at the clock? What time is it, Dave?

1:25:02 Dave Navarro You know, I got about 18 minutes, 17 and a half.

1:25:05 Adam Away from the top of the hour. And 727 leaves at 1205.

1:25:11 Dave Navarro That's five minutes into the 26th.

1:25:13 Adam 23 away from an 800. All right. Dave Navarro, you heard it, going to hang out with us in studio. Drew, you're going to be here when we return?

1:25:20 Drew I'm thinking yeah.

1:25:21 Adam I'm sorry to hear that. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after we pay some bills.

1:25:27 Dave Navarro Loveline.

1:25:30 Caller My hair, my hair.

1:25:31 Dave Navarro We'll be right back.

1:25:40 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Dave Navarro in studio, and I, Dave, can you hang with us for just a couple of more?

1:25:47 Dave Navarro Yeah, I got about 13 minutes left in me.

1:25:49 Adam Is there 13 away from the top of the hour?

1:25:51 Dave Navarro Until the 26th. All right, he's got to, I was going to say, I'm going to be out of here by the 26th.

1:25:56 Adam Right, the day changes at the top of the hour, that'll be, it'll go to the 26th, there's 28 days in February. So then, so we're two days away from the top of the month. We're coming away.

1:26:08 Dave Navarro At the top of the hour, but it's still dark out.

1:26:10 Adam It's still dark outside. We'll be changing the clock.

1:26:12 Dave Navarro So it's confusing, but it's a new day, actually.

1:26:14 Adam Once we spring forward, when I say 26 minutes from the top of the hour, it'll be an hour and 26 minutes from the top of the hour, right?

1:26:22 Dave Navarro Is that how it works?

1:26:22 Drew Yeah, that'll happen.

1:26:24 Adam All right, boy, they must love that clock changing thing. They must do like a whole week on the clock change. Oh, you guys, this clock, I say it every year. First off, Drew and I get horribly depressed when we lose that hour. Oh, we're going to lose it. We're pushing it ahead.

1:26:40 Drew I'm trying to get to rest now. Just about that. It's coming in two months.

1:26:43 Dave Navarro What's coming? It gets darker earlier.

1:26:45 Drew Gets lighter, darker later.

1:26:48 Adam Dave, you're a rock star, buddy.

1:26:50 Drew You lose the hour that weekend in order for that to adjust.

1:26:54 Adam That's that whole thing. When you're going to bed Saturday night at 2 45, it's 3 45. And when you wake up at 11 in the morning, it's noon.

1:27:03 Dave Navarro That's not good.

1:27:04 Adam That's rape. And by the way, I've we've discussed this many times, Drew, but that's how I know I'm a loser. How how I lament over that hour for it's like it's like a child of loss. I'll never get it back. You can never replace it.

1:27:17 Dave Navarro Saturday night is basically like, you know, the Sunday night before school.

1:27:20 Adam Yes, yes, yes. And for those are the last day of summer, those of us who hated school Monday. So it'll always be a devastating day. And you know what they ought to do?

1:27:30 Dave Navarro I never like a Monday and I've been out of school for 25 years.

1:27:32 Adam That's right. And I'm the same way. And that's why and that'd be more sensitive to a bad students like Dave and I and start school on a Tuesday.

1:27:41 Dave Navarro I like that idea.

1:27:44 Adam Yeah, but we would learn to hate Tuesday.

1:27:46 Caller But coming off a three day weekend wouldn't be that bad. Right.

1:27:50 Adam Or you know what they should do with school? Move it around. Starts on a Monday, one week. Next week starts on a Thursday. Then it's Tuesday. That's back to Monday. We would hate all the days just a little instead of despising the one day.

1:28:03 Dave Navarro We can hang out. I can move my flight. We can riff on this later.

1:28:06 Adam We'll jam on this. I'll get my double neck riff comedy acts and swing it with you. Valerie? Oh baby, what's wrong?

1:28:17 I'm just trying to get my act together and trying to figure out which one of the gentlemen I'm dating I want.

1:28:24 Adam How many are you dating?

1:28:25 Dave Navarro It's a problem of abundance right there.

1:28:27 Well, I'm dating two.

1:28:30 Dave Navarro You know, we had a caller earlier who couldn't even land one boyfriend. Perhaps the two of you could get together.

1:28:37 Drew Tell us about these guys. Why was this trouble deciding?

1:28:40 Well, one of them, he has just turned 34 and the other gentleman, he's 31.

1:28:47 Drew You're 20? You don't think these guys are a little old for you?

1:28:51 Well, I tried dating guys close to my own age and it was almost like I used to be real busy working in politics with my mom and I ended up liking people much older than me.

1:29:05 Drew Did that seem sort of oblique?

1:29:07 Adam Well, I can tell you this, Drew, she's 20 years of age, that's five years away from 25.

1:29:12 Drew Oh, that makes it so much clearer. Thank you.

1:29:14 Adam Valerie, well, if you worked with your mom who was in politics, well, that explains it all.

1:29:19 Drew That sounded just like total BS.

1:29:20 Adam And what's your mom doing in politics?

1:29:23 Well, she just works for parties and stuff, and has parties and stuff.

1:29:30 Dave Navarro It really makes me wonder what's going on in Power 106.

1:29:37 Adam Dave Navarro in studio tonight. Hey, Valerie? You sound depressed and like life has chewed you up and spit you out at 20.

1:29:49 Dave Navarro That politics is a tough racket.

1:29:51 Adam It really is.

1:29:52 Well, it's been kind of, you know, I've just been trying to decide which one of the two guys I want to go with.

1:29:57 Dave Navarro Okay, have you made a pros and cons list of each one and looked at that on paper, literally done that, sat down on paper, pros and cons of each guy, look at that.

1:30:06 Yes, as a matter of fact, I tried that.

1:30:10 Dave Navarro It evened out.

1:30:11 Adam Alright, hold on a second.

1:30:12 Drew Valerie sounds like a robot.

1:30:14 Dave Navarro Well, you know.

1:30:16 Adam Is Valerie bragging because she's got a big ass? Do you know what I'm saying? I don't get it.

1:30:21 Dave Navarro But you know what? That robotic empathy thing that you sound like. You know, she's primed for a political position. She's definitely in the right direction. Juggling guys, politics?

1:30:33 Adam Valerie.

1:30:34 Dave Navarro You're sad, hon.

1:30:36 Adam You big gal? No?

1:30:42 Not really, no.

1:30:43 Adam Not really. How much you weigh?

1:30:45 Right now, I weigh 128.

1:30:48 Dave Navarro How tall are you?

1:30:49 I'm 5'4.

1:30:51 Adam And what about now?

1:30:55 Drew Right now.

1:30:55 Adam 171.

1:30:57 Dave Navarro You know what, Valerie?

1:30:58 Adam Alright.

1:30:59 Dave Navarro If you can't decide, right, and you're not sure, then that really kind of tells me that neither one of them is a winner.

1:31:05 Drew Yeah, absolutely.

1:31:06 Dave Navarro So why not just go with the one that pleases you better sexually until the guy comes along?

1:31:11 Drew They're both older, way older than you.

1:31:13 Adam Yeah, listen, we'll decide. Take number one.

1:31:15 Dave Navarro Yeah, the 31 year old.

1:31:16 Adam Whoever's taller. Take the younger one.

1:31:18 Dave Navarro Yeah, the 31. That's what I say. Go with him.

1:31:21 Drew All right.

1:31:22 Adam Yeah, go with the 31.

1:31:23 Dave Navarro Yeah, you got it.

1:31:24 Adam And never call the show again.

1:31:26 Dave Navarro Good luck to you.

1:31:27 Drew By the way, the way you would trash our callers, our callers, our listeners, probably not our callers, came to my rescue on Amazon. Remember I was complaining about the reviews last night for Cracked? They wrote some very nice...

1:31:39 Dave Navarro True wrote a book.

1:31:40 Drew I wrote a book called Cracked.

1:31:41 Dave Navarro What were the bad reviews?

1:31:43 Drew I had a lot of good ones, but then a couple bothered me last night that they were so ridiculous and I just wanted to respond to them, but you couldn't.

1:31:48 Dave Navarro Yeah, but if you're going to buy into those, if you're going to buy into the good ones, you've got to buy into the bad ones, and then it just becomes a whole thing.

1:31:55 Drew But anyway, a lot of our listeners came to my rescue, so it was nice.

1:31:58 Dave Navarro I'm waiting for the movie, though. That's going to be good. Paramount's interested in that, right? They ought to be. All right.

1:32:06 Adam Let's take a little break. Dave, are you going to stick around?

1:32:09 Dave Navarro You know, I don't know. To be honest with you, he needs to go.

1:32:16 Adam Dave's got to catch a flight.

1:32:20 Dave Navarro Let me take a look at that screen. I'll let you know.

1:32:22 Adam Take a look at the screen. We're going to take a quick break. We're up against a break here, Drew. Drew, are you sticking around?

1:32:26 Drew I think I might.

1:32:27 Dave Navarro You know, these two hours used to fly right by.

1:32:29 Adam I know. Dave's very disillusioned with the show, by the way. I don't know what happened. He doesn't like me. He doesn't like the callers anymore. You know what it is. You're sober. That's what it is. And everything's like pulling teeth now. Yeah. All right, buddy. You stick around. Dave Navarro's going to hang out with us. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:32:47 Caller All right, guys. Bottom line.

1:32:48 Caller Here's the deal. Looking to hook up.

1:32:50 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person. One call is all you need to make.

1:32:54 Caller Call the Dateline. The Dateline.

1:32:55 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:33:01 Caller Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:33:03 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:33:29 Dave Navarro Speaking of that, I gotta run.

1:33:31 Adam You gotta run, you gotta catch a flight. I gotta catch a flight. Dave, thanks for dropping in to the studio.

1:33:35 Dave Navarro You're welcome.

1:33:36 Adam Doors. Doors always open. Always open. You come by anytime. The great Dave Navarro, Jan's Addiction, the Red Hot Chili Poppers, the whole thing, boy. I really dig your scene, buddy.

1:33:51 Dave Navarro I welcome you guys into the 26th.

1:33:53 Adam Oh, thank you. Feel it. Oh, yeah, we're at two days away from the top of the calendar. So until next time, who's in here tomorrow night, Drew?

1:34:03 Drew Simple plan.

1:34:03 Adam Simple plan.

1:34:04 Dave Navarro That's going to be awesome.

1:34:05 Adam Those are my main men. So Dave Navarro, buddy, seriously. God bless Dave Navarro.

1:34:09 Dave Navarro Thanks, fellas.

1:34:10 Adam Until next time, it's Adam Crawford, Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:34:14 Dave Navarro So he gets an A for effort and a B for dumb.

1:34:21 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Engeld. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

1:35:12 Dave Navarro Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Wednesday, February 25, 2004