Episode 1000592955115

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

0:58 Voiceover And listener discretion is advised. Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:05 Dr. Who That's Dr. Who? Oh, relax. In the hizzy.

1:11 Drew Actually, I was even, I was hearing stories that you spoke kindly of me while I was gone, which made me feel very good. I knew I'd hear none of it when I got here.

1:19 Dr. Who That was delirious. It was like a plate spinner. All those doctors there and these crazy guests, me covering, like a...

1:27 Drew Why don't you leave me alone once in a while?

1:29 Dr. Who You know what it was? You know what it was like for me? Haul all over town, chase a little money. No problem.

1:35 Drew I don't mean leave permanently.

1:37 Adam I mean, you just go take a bath.

1:38 Dr. Who Let me tell you what I was like last week. Remember that movie Mrs. Doubtfire?

1:42 Drew Yes.

1:43 Dr. Who Yeah, see? That's a movie Drew saw.

1:45 Drew Saw.

1:46 Dr. Who At the end, the big crescendo, Robin Williams had to play Mrs. Doubtfire.

1:52 Drew Yes.

1:53 Dr. Who And like a regular guy who was going on a big job interview, had to keep running back and forth to the bathroom. That's what it was like for me. Had to keep it going.

2:01 Drew So you were playing Fred Flintstone. All right, go back to New York. Fred Flintstone, who would have to be in a bowling match and at dinner with his wife at the same time, right?

2:12 Dr. Who That was me. That was me. And by the way, in movies, the makeup happens just a little too fast.

2:20 Drew Yeah.

2:20 Dr. Who You know what I mean? Like whenever they do those movies where they talk about, you know, Mrs. Downfire or the Grancher and any movie where, you know, Charlize Theron and Monsters, like I was in the makeup chair for six hours a day. You can't run to the bathroom, become a different person and run back and sit down, not have crap hanging off you.

2:38 Drew Yep.

2:38 Dr. Who Like in Mission Impossible, the other thing is like, just pull the fresh. Fool them with the fake voice chip. And really, how'd you slap that thing on? Punch. And Drew, imagine what you would look like if you're trying to mold yourself a quick fake face in some dark storm drain somewhere.

2:55 Drew Star Wars Cafe.

2:56 Dr. Who Right, you just come out and look like someone crapped on you. How was New York, buddy?

3:01 Drew It was great. Had a nice time.

3:02 Dr. Who Good time.

3:03 Drew Did some work with Trojan Condoms. They have a new product coming out.

3:05 Dr. Who That's great. What is it? What is it?

3:08 Drew It's a kind of a lubricant that heats up.

3:12 Dr. Who And the condom man, I mean, secret, they don't talk about it during their press conference. Talk about what? Behind closed doors. They secretly wish for new aids.

3:22 Drew No, they don't, you see. But I came upon, I was doing a lot of condom thinking in New York, and it occurred to me, one of the things that kept coming up was why guys won't do it, and it's always that we need that condom loader, we're taking care of everything except the part where they have to stop and put it on. And I thought to myself, you know what, it's really not that guys are going to lose their erection, the guys are afraid that the woman's going to like come too, they're like a lion that's pounced on a gazelle, they're afraid if they pull their paw up, the freaking gazelle is going to take off.

3:54 Dr. Who That's not really pull their paw up, it's open the jaw that's clamped around the neck.

3:58 Drew Just open it for a second. Pow, things gone, right?

4:01 Dr. Who Yeah.

4:02 Adam That's how guys are.

4:03 Dr. Who It is true, which is you're on some, it's like you're playing pop a shot and you just just nailed 26 in a row and your buddy's yelling at you, the pizza slice is ready.

4:15 Adam You're like, no, I'm going.

4:19 Dr. Who You get the feeling if you stop, turn around and look back again, the next one's going to come off the side of the rim.

4:24 Drew Just forget the fact that you're on a roll, just the fact that you have a girl in a trance.

4:29 Dr. Who That's what you being on a roll is. She's agreed to intercourse with you.

4:33 Drew At least provide a shit and wake up or come to or come to her senses or whatever.

4:38 Dr. Who Yeah, Drew doesn't mean come to in a roofy sense. God knows he's been on the winning end of a roofy more than once. But back when we didn't know any better, you know, it was socially acceptable. But yes, that if you somehow stop and it's sort of like if you flip the light on, they're going to look around and go, wait, huh?

4:59 Drew It's like waking up a sleepwalker.

5:00 Dr. Who What happened? Yeah. Where are we? What are you doing? You're not, you're not my boyfriend.

5:03 Drew It's all because that damn condom I had to put on, right? That's what the guys think.

5:06 Dr. Who Yeah, they don't want to stop.

5:07 Drew But it's not real.

5:08 Dr. Who The reality is, is when you're with a woman and it's to the point where she says get the condom or you say get the condom.

5:16 Drew It's game on.

5:17 Dr. Who There's no more.

5:18 Drew Yeah.

5:18 Dr. Who You know, that's as much guarantee as you're going to get to get in line.

5:21 Drew But think about how guys' heads are going, she's having sex with me. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. That's, that's all that's going on in a guy's head. Guy, I was doing an interview with some magazine a couple weeks ago and they were like, well, what are guys thinking? I'm thinking, you know what they're thinking?

5:31 Dr. Who Hold on. Is it some magazine or some magazine?

5:34 Drew It was some magazine. It was like, I can't remember.

5:38 Dr. Who Oh, but name of it was.

5:39 Drew It wasn't some.

5:40 Dr. Who Well, you got a magazine called Stuff. Seems like you could have one called Some.

5:43 Drew Yeah, Some Stuff. And I thought to myself, what are they thinking? They're thinking, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, she's having sex with me. That's all they're thinking.

5:50 Dr. Who But really answer my question. Do the Trojan people hope for new aids?

5:53 Drew No, I don't think they do.

5:54 Dr. Who New aids?

5:54 Drew No.

5:56 Dr. Who Really? Because really they could move, you know, more product.

5:58 Drew Move more product?

5:59 Dr. Who Well, you'd buy stock, you know what I mean?

6:01 Drew That's what they'd be wishing for.

6:02 Dr. Who Kind of stock going through the roof.

6:05 Drew No, no.

6:05 Dr. Who I'm thinking new aids.

6:06 Drew New aids.

6:07 Dr. Who Wait, it's got to be tough because, you know, they're getting some of these venereal disease. They're getting the venereal disease is under control. Aids, they're getting a check on a little bit. Hepatitis, always nice. I'm sure they're hoping for like a hepatitis D or something.

6:20 Drew There is such a thing, a delta, yeah.

6:22 Dr. Who Oh, there is a delta? What about an epsilon? Foxtrot or something. Yeah. All right. Did they have an E?

6:31 Drew It has an epsilon, yeah. It has an epsilon too.

6:33 Dr. Who Oh, really?

6:34 Drew Oh, really?

6:34 Dr. Who Jesus Christ. Those hepatitis people never sleep. You know, back in the day, if you're lucky to get A, now it's going all the way to E.

6:44 Drew All different kinds of parts.

6:45 Dr. Who They're like TV sizes.

6:47 Drew But I'm sure it's not because the Trojan guys have wished for it.

6:49 Dr. Who I think they got their fingers crossed for new AIDS.

6:52 Drew I'm trying to think what they're wishing for.

6:53 Dr. Who New AIDS. Stephanie, and that's not an indictment of the good people over at Trojan. I'm just saying, hey, it's a business. At the end of the day, Drew, what? It's a business.

7:03 Drew At the end of the day.

7:04 Dr. Who Don't kid yourself. It's a business.

7:06 Drew When they have growth, the public health is enhanced, you see?

7:09 Dr. Who Don't you hate jackoffs who give you that don't kid yourself is a business line about things that are obviously business? You know, not like when they do it too, like, let me tell you, Pete, NFL is a competitors that can be as much as these guys are great athletes. It's a business.

7:22 Yeah.

7:23 Dr. Who Okay.

7:23 Drew Jackoff. Don't let them kid you.

7:24 Yeah.

7:24 Dr. Who Don't let them kid you. It's a business. That's good. That's good sports talk. It's a business. It's a business.

7:30 Drew Speaking of sports guys, my kids were in the pregame show of the NBA All-Star Game tonight.

7:34 Dr. Who What the? No.

7:37 Drew They had a friend, a friend, a buddy of theirs who was father's, godson was the producer of the pregame show. And so they needed a bunch of kids lining the stage, giving high fives to the players that came out.

7:48 Dr. Who You kids, what a downhill slide it's going to be when they're done with you. Living in some apartment in Van Nuys when I was working for Pink Dot. The other's writing a screenplay that will never be made. And they're like, oh, we high fived Carl Malone. Stephanie? You're 19?

8:06 Drew What was Carl Malone?

8:07 Dr. Who Yeah. He's injured. I don't think he made it this year.

8:09 Drew Yao Ming, they got Yao Ming.

8:12 Dr. Who What did he do? High five Yao Ming's nutsacks? They couldn't high five him. He can't get that low.

8:18 Drew He crawled up.

8:18 Dr. Who He has to pay a dwarf to tie his shoes, you know. He can't get to his shoes. Oh yeah, it's good.

8:25 Drew You're right. You're right.

8:26 Dr. Who Stephanie?

8:27 Dr. Who Yeah.

8:28 Dr. Who You're 19?

8:29 Dr. Who Yeah.

8:30 Dr. Who What's up?

8:31 Dr. Who Okay. I have been dating this guy for about two months and things are going really well and I want to give him oral but I'm really scared because like I don't know what to do. I've never done it before, you know, and you know, I want to make him happy and please him but I'm afraid I'll go like wrong.

8:48 Drew This is something I've been sort of coaching women about.

8:51 Dr. Who Sure.

8:51 Drew All you need to do is stay in the room with him and be willing to do whatever it is he's interested in.

8:57 Dr. Who Yeah.

8:57 Drew That's it. It's over the top.

9:00 Dr. Who Part of it is how experienced is he? But yes, I agree with Drew. I agree with Drew but how experienced is he just for kicks?

9:10 Dr. Who Well, I mean, he actually used to be married and so I know he has a lot of experience and he's been with four other girls.

9:18 Drew Four other girls and a marriage. Good times.

9:20 Dr. Who Did you say four other or some other?

9:21 Dr. Who A few others. I don't know exactly.

9:26 Dr. Who So, well, Stephanie sounds very naive for just like a babe for 19. Would you grow up in a sheltered house?

9:36 Dr. Who Well, I'm in a pretty strict family and so, yeah.

9:43 Drew But you're not isolated from the world. You're not disabled or something?

9:49 Dr. Who How about, have you ever seen anyone perform oral sex?

9:54 Dr. Who No.

9:54 Dr. Who How about you watch a little pornographic film where that's involved and maybe, you know, at least get an idea what's going on.

10:04 Dr. Who Yeah, I could.

10:09 Drew Tell me, the deal is, if you're enthusiastic and you're there, he's fine. Whatever it is, he's good. Listen, unlike a woman, a guy does not mind having to talk somebody through something. He doesn't spoil anything if he has to give you a little pointer here or there.

10:24 Dr. Who Yes, but, I mean, this is somebody who, when she closes her eyes, has no conception of oral sex. Yeah. You know what I mean? I blink. I see blowjobs.

10:37 Drew I know.

10:37 Dr. Who You know what I mean?

10:38 Drew There goes one.

10:39 Dr. Who Even one eye.

10:41 Drew They're like, ooh, ooh.

10:42 Dr. Who Did you see that? Nobody receives oral like me.

10:47 Drew I know.

10:47 Dr. Who I've said it many times. A lot of guys brag about the prowess, you know, how well they perform. How they bring a woman to climax, what they can do for a woman. Not many guys will have the confidence to really express how well they receive oral.

11:03 Drew Well, as you said, that may talk about what they can do for a woman. And you receiving it is the ultimate.

11:08 Dr. Who It's ultimate gift.

11:09 Drew Ultimate gift, yes.

11:10 Dr. Who Yeah. Because they say that giving is better than receiving. So those who facilitate receiving, I mean, giving, yeah, it's got to be better. Yeah. I'm the next level up. Yeah. Chris, you want to see my technique for receiving?

11:23 Drew Sure. You've never seen it? Really? There it is. You're right, Chris. Overwhelmed, huh? See how that goes?

11:35 Dr. Who It's, it's, it's, you got to relax.

11:37 Drew Yeah. You're good at that.

11:38 Dr. Who Yeah. I think my dad, I, you know, must have been good at it. Because they said whenever I used to see him, he was in sort of, you know, he was on the sofa.

11:45 Drew That's where you get to...

11:48 Dr. Who Drew it.

11:50 Drew That's what you fashioned your pose after.

11:51 Dr. Who Yeah. I just watched my dad all those years playing it on the sofa. I say Stephanie gets herself a porno movie or hops on the internet. It just takes a little look at it, but don't do that weird spit thing. I don't know when that came into vogue, but I don't go for that.

12:06 Adam What is that? What is that?

12:07 Dr. Who What is that? Somebody decided about six, seven years ago that the porn had to involve like long bridges of saliva and like spinning and stuff. You know what happened? Porn was just porn for like 30 years and then somebody said, we got to ratchet this up.

12:28 Adam We have to distinguish ourselves.

12:30 Dr. Who Yeah. Here's the way I wish they would have ratcheted it. Hotter chicks with bigger cams. But instead, they went nasty.

12:38 Dr. Who Like we got to get nasty, you know?

12:39 Dr. Who So chicks are going to get all these tats and piercings. They're going to like, they're going to like spit on their hand and start attacking the guy's penis like giving an Indian burn. They're spitting on the guy's joint and leaving, you know, peeing on him and stuff like, hey, look, I didn't want to get abused. I just want to beat off. And here's the thing. Hot chicks never, never out of vogue, never goes out of style. Like, it's not like it's like it's not like somebody's got to improve. We got, hey, we got a way to make watermelon better in the middle of summer now. That's good. Just just get folks on Good Melon. Folks on Good Melon. That's all you need folks on. That's it. Porn. Don't change. Just the influx of young hot chicks. There you go. Thank you. Kristen. Oh, Christine. Yeah. What's happening, Christine? You're 26.

13:31 Dr. Who I love the show, guys.

13:32 Dr. Who Thanks.

13:34 Dr. Who What's happening is that I can have orgasms when I'm asleep and like a dream leads up to them, but I have never had one when I'm awake with a partner or with myself.

13:46 Drew You have a lot of experience? You have boyfriends?

13:49 Dr. Who I have one right now. We've been together two and a half years.

13:51 Drew And I've asked the right questions.

13:55 Dr. Who Now, I was thinking, Christine's my mom's name.

14:00 Drew Is that weird for you?

14:01 Dr. Who I was over at her house today, so I was thinking about that. I stopped paying attention.

14:06 Drew That's what he does when he hears the word Christine.

14:08 Dr. Who I heard my mom's name and then I thought, yeah, I went over to her house for a brunch today.

14:12 Drew Doesn't that make you stop paying attention just hearing her?

14:15 Dr. Who Yeah. So what did she do? Why do I got to answer any questions? You answer. I answer questions all last week.

14:23 Drew Does he perform oral sex on you? Sometimes.

14:28 Dr. Who Well, I mean, I've gotten close, but it's never, and I've felt very stimulated both during intercourse and during oral or with his hand, but I've never gotten to where I know it's going to happen like I do when it's happening when I'm asleep. And it'll wake me up. Like it'll, I'll get really close and it feels really good. And I have been...

14:50 Drew What are you doing during the dream?

14:52 Dr. Who It can be either an erotic dream or just random and I'll just, it'll just kind of go into this kind of sexual thing. I can be doing anything. No, there doesn't have to be an act. I can just walk up to like whatever's near there. I don't know. And then I'll wake up at some point and, and in order to go really over the edge, I have to physically touch myself, but just really lightly. And then it, it all, you know.

15:18 Drew Why can't you sort of recreate that in life?

15:21 Dr. Who I don't know. That's what I'm asking you.

15:23 Dr. Who So you have a long... Are you married? You have a boyfriend?

15:27 Dr. Who We've been together two and a half years.

15:29 Drew And he performs oral sex sometimes.

15:31 Dr. Who Yeah.

15:31 Drew The light touch suggests to me that that's the oral sex department.

15:35 Dr. Who Yeah.

15:36 Drew He really, maybe he doesn't know what he's doing.

15:38 Dr. Who What do you mean sometimes? Do you, do you wish you would do it more?

15:41 Dr. Who Um, I don't know. Not necessarily. I'm not uncomfortable with it. I like it. But I, I guess the thing is that it's never gotten me off with anybody. So I don't really see why I should do it that much.

15:52 Dr. Who How about, how about you have him do it and do a much lighter approach? Yeah.

15:59 Dr. Who Yeah. Definitely. It's still, things feel better when he's going lighter. I told him I was going to call so he's listening.

16:05 Drew So very light, very rhythmic, circular motions, nothing fancy, just, just repetitive, don't get slick, like petting a Persian cat kind of thing, like very slow rhythm.

16:19 Dr. Who Yeah.

16:19 Drew And the light and that's the, and just, and have a, you know, have at it a bit, give her a chance. She's never done this before. Yeah.

16:28 Dr. Who Here's the thing.

16:29 Drew He's got beside 20 minutes.

16:30 Dr. Who You can't.

16:31 Drew Right?

16:32 Dr. Who Yeah.

16:32 Drew Yeah, at least. And then have an appointment with your dentist the next day.

16:37 Dr. Who Yeah.

16:38 Drew To prepare your jaw.

16:39 Dr. Who Yeah.

16:39 Drew But.

16:40 Dr. Who Well, well, here's the thing too, is you can't set some sort of tongue tempo that she has to keep up with.

16:47 Drew No. And I think that's what guys do.

16:49 Dr. Who Guys push, try to push the action along like some sort of tongue metronome or something that try to, try to get it, get the cadence going and it's not, that's not the way to do it.

17:01 Drew I've done a lot of thinking about this stuff this week when we were doing the condom. And listen, I realize guys just think of a vagina as an inside out penis. Uh-huh. And when it doesn't act like an inside out penis, then they got to, they got to get it there. It's like, I understand. It's like, I'm confused now. I'm just pushing harder.

17:15 Dr. Who It's one of those penises that when you put it on the grill, it cracks open like a bratwurst or something.

17:20 Drew That's.

17:21 Dr. Who Yeah. Like a Polish. You know, when you do a Polish sandwich. You get the dog in there.

17:25 Drew Yeah, that's good.

17:26 Dr. Who That's nice, by the way.

17:27 Drew I love those.

17:28 Dr. Who Polish sausage on some grilled, uh, rye.

17:31 Drew Sourdough.

17:32 Dr. Who Little sauerkraut in there. No, no. You do it on rye.

17:36 Drew The rye's good. I was thinking of a sourdough roll. It's good too.

17:39 Dr. Who Now I'm thinking, I'm thinking the crown.

17:42 Drew I think the crown of the rye is good.

17:43 Dr. Who The crown of the rye. Yeah. It's got to be a little greasy. Oh, and some cheese. Oh, maybe a little Swiss cheese on that. Oh, a little mustard. Nice beer to wash it down with. Let's go.

17:55 Drew Let's get out of here.

17:57 Dr. Who What were we talking about? Oh yeah. You gotta eat.

17:59 Drew Tell me about Florida.

18:00 Dr. Who Yeah. Don't push. Yeah. But don't push, fellas.

18:02 Drew Yeah. It's not, it doesn't work like a penis. That's the reality. It just doesn't.

18:06 Dr. Who Right. A penis, you can't, here's the thing about a penis. A penis is sort of like 382 strokes and something's going to come out.

18:17 Drew Period.

18:17 Dr. Who Of it.

18:17 Drew Or whatever the stroke number is for that male. Right. It's preset.

18:21 Dr. Who It was, it was God ordained that many, many years ago.

18:26 Drew And it did different on different days, different things, but it's set.

18:29 Dr. Who Now, here's the thing. If you did a stroke a day over 300-something days, it's not going to work, but you put together a little pace and if you pace it up a little bit, it's going to go that much faster. Vagina, not that way. Could be 10 minutes, could be never, could be the end of time. That's why you're really taking your chances when you're heading down.

18:50 Drew That is why guys are all effed up. They cannot figure this out. I mean, they have experience with one woman, they figure that's how they all are and they're all vastly, vastly different. But would you like to talk about this? Guys are totally visual, right? But what confuses women, and we talked about this at dinner the other night, for the man, every man has his visual sweet spot. And you can't change that. You can't move yourself into it by dressing a certain way. You know what I mean? Guys have visual taste and that's it.

19:19 Dr. Who No, you mean if a guy likes leggy blondes and you're a haunchy brunette, but don't worry, I got myself a new teddy, that's not going to make a dent.

19:31 Drew Guys, and that confuses women because they don't understand that. The guys have their visual range and it's set. There ain't no change in it, that is what it is.

19:40 Dr. Who Unfortunately, 99 percent you don't fall into it.

19:44 That's the problem.

19:45 Dr. Who That's why that one percent is in real demand. There's several hundred thousand guys going after the one and then the rest, they hold my beer. Let me just say one thing real quick and then we're going to play a little Germany or Florida. This is what's scary about going down on a chick as a guy.

20:01 Drew What's scary?

20:03 Dr. Who If someone told you, you never know how long you're going to be down there. It's like it's like somebody's saying, look, we're going to submerge your head in water. We might let you ice water, ice water. We might let you up in 30 seconds. Could be nine hours. You'd be like, whoa, you'd be freaked out. As soon as your head went under, you'd be like, holy ass. You'd be freaked, right? That's what it's like for us ladies. We know we don't know. We don't know if we're going to if it's like falling into a frozen lake or just a quick dip.

20:33 Drew But if there is anything you can do to make it a quick dip, slow it down.

20:36 Dr. Who Slow down that breathing. Don't panic. You'll drown. Thomas.

20:41 Yeah.

20:42 Drew Hey.

20:43 Dr. Who Germany or Florida?

20:45 Yeah, I've got one. First, I wanted to ask Drew. I heard you the other night mentioned the drama of The Gifted Child.

20:51 Drew Yeah.

20:51 And I asked my dad about that and he's a he's a therapist. You've met him and he's got that book.

20:56 Drew Yeah.

20:56 And and I was wondering like if I would like that, like I read your book and I liked it a lot. And I was I wanted to get more in depth and I was wondering if that kind of thing would be the kind of thing for me to read.

21:07 Dr. Who Tell me.

21:08 Drew It's more about that's more about yeah, it's about codependency and boundaries and things. And if you really want to get in depth, look into the work of Alan Shore, S-E-H-O-R-E or Peter Fonagy. A-G-I. And actually, I'll tell you what. Here's a book that if you're really ready to slog through something called Healing Trauma. Healing Trauma? Healing Trauma by a guy named Dan Siegel. That's really got the stuff in it.

21:34 Dr. Who Talk to me on the website.

21:37 Drew Please, thank you for buying my book. I've not promoted my book in so long.

21:40 Dr. Who It feels like 20 minutes.

21:41 I heard you didn't get any money for that, is that right?

21:43 Drew No, no, I didn't make much money for it. But I sold through. I actually got a residual check today.

21:51 Dr. Who Oh, really?

21:52 Drew Wow, I couldn't believe it.

21:54 Dr. Who $8.

21:54 Congratulations on that.

21:55 Drew Thank you.

21:56 Dr. Who All right, Thomas. Germany or Florida?

21:58 Here it is. All right. The teachers in a school were tested in a hospital after gobbling up anonymously donated chocolate cake. Unaware, it was laced with hash or pot, authorities said on Thursday. Some ten teachers from the school were treated for nausea and dizziness after sharing a cake left at the door to their staff room, a police spokesman said. They thought it was food poisoning, but the doctors quickly recognized the problem, the spokesman said. They showed all the classic signs of people under the influence of drugs. The spokesman said the teachers had not suspected anything because it was customary for them to buy cakes from the school children as part of a fundraising project. Blood tests and a sample of the uneaten slice of cake revealed that it had been doctored with the drug.

22:43 Drew The way he's hiding the drug makes me think Germany.

22:47 Dr. Who No, I was thinking Germany already. I was thinking Germany from the beginning. I'm not sure why. They're into cakes.

22:54 Drew They like cakes.

22:55 Dr. Who Cake made me think Germany.

22:57 Drew It's not a cupcake, it's not a doughnut.

22:59 Dr. Who And people wouldn't die. People wouldn't, in Florida, they wouldn't share their drugs. They squirrel those drugs away. Yeah, we're going Germany.

23:08 Is that your final answer?

23:10 Dr. Who Yes.

23:10 All right, you guys are right, it's Germany.

23:14 Adam Yeah.

23:14 Dr. Who Thank you. Thank you.

23:16 Adam Good job, Thomas.

23:17 Drew Thank you.

23:18 Dr. Who Don't try to screw with us, are you sure?

23:20 Adam That was good, that was good.

23:22 Dr. Who All right.

23:23 Drew Come on, he's playing the game.

23:23 Dr. Who That was a good question. That was a good Germany or Florida.

23:25 Drew Well done, well delivered, that's good.

23:27 Dr. Who It's funny, Germany popped in my head a couple of beads.

23:30 Drew At least a cake.

23:33 Dr. Who Here were the beads, I really mean it. I couldn't picture kids in Florida sharing their weed. That was day number one. Like if you're in Florida, your kid, you got your hands on some weed, it's going to your head, as we say in the game. The other thing was cake for some reason, like we don't consume 70 billion metric tons of cake in this country, and the idea that teachers would eat confections that were left by the kids to sound too old world. Yeah, here it sounds like they have to get put through some sort of screening device or something, you know what I mean?

24:05 Drew Where they would be against policy or something, you know, it just wouldn't be a cake.

24:09 Dr. Who This country's so effed up with all that nonsense, all that, everything's got to be like, every time a car goes in reverse, there's a beeper going off. I mean, we're all left. The terrorists, you know, people, you know, talk about the terrorists winning, the lawyers of what? We're more, we're more effed because of them than because of the terrorists, but between the lawyers and the terrorists, that's it, you can just go to the airport, take your shoes off, get patted down, have, you know, you can't drink your beer out of a bottle, the ballpark is might throw it out into the field.

24:42 Adam I was thinking that today, listen, we're done.

24:43 Drew I was thinking that today when I walked by the NBA All-Star game and I was walking outside and there were so many police and army and stuff. And I thought, wow, even I'm uncomfortable with this. And I like that kind of thing. You know what I mean?

24:54 Adam I don't bother me.

24:55 Drew And I thought, this is just, what, really? Is there, is there?

25:00 Dr. Who We're done. We're done. The lawyers won and then the terrorists won. Now it's actually gonna break up the opening to the.

25:09 Drew Thank God we didn't go down that slippery slope.

25:12 Dr. Who Yes, yes.

25:13 Drew Those many slippery slopes the attorney saved us from.

25:15 Dr. Who Yeah, thank goodness they're there.

25:17 Dr. Who All right, we're gonna take a, I'm saying they've bricked up the opening to the Statue of Liberty or they're going to, for safety. It's like, look, eventually we should all just dig ourselves a hole and climb in it.

25:28 Drew Let's start a new country.

25:30 Dr. Who Let's just do that. I could work out, I could work out so many things. Oh, could I work things out? All right, we're gonna take ourselves a, all right, now let's take a break.

25:42 We're getting fired up.

25:43 Drew We'll come back with a new constitution.

25:44 Dr. Who All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

25:48 Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right back. Every hour, two Americans under the age of 25 are infected with HIV. Protect yourself. Call toll free 1-866-344-KNOW.

26:27 Dr. Who Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. All right, back to the phones we go.

26:41 Drew What?

26:41 Dr. Who What city is this up here?

26:43 Drew Burlington, Vermont?

26:45 Dr. Who I thought it was Burlington. I think there's a Burlington game?

26:49 Adam Ask him, I'll tell you.

26:51 Drew No, no, no, no.

26:52 Dr. Who What? What'd I do?

26:53 Drew You pushed two.

26:54 Dr. Who Oh, I pressed the wrong two. Steve? Yes. Where are you from?

27:00 I'm from Burlingame.

27:02 Dr. Who Where is that?

27:02 It's in California, a little south of San Francisco.

27:06 Dr. Who Sounds nice.

27:07 Yes, it's nice.

27:10 Drew What's up?

27:11 Well, I stopped smoking pot one week ago tonight.

27:15 Dr. Who Yeah.

27:15 And I've been doing it for like six years.

27:18 Drew That's gonna be rough.

27:19 Man.

27:20 Drew That's gonna be rough. That will not work unless you do something to, for lack of a better way, treat the condition you've got.

27:30 That's what I gathered from your book, which I read and loved.

27:34 Drew All right. Thank you, Steve. Just check out MA. Just call me. You'll find a hundred Steves there. People with your story, people have been where you've been, people can support you through this. Because if you get what I was saying in the book, it really is other people that help us regulate and get through things. Certain things we can't do. I was thinking about this the other day. It's like having a trainer or a dietician. When you have another person there, you do it. Right. They give you the support. And with this disorder, particularly the emotions and the misery and all that, you need to have other people there to help sort of regulate all that with you. Because it just overwhelms.

28:08 I understand. That's part of the reason why I'm calling. I'm wondering how many meetings you recommend I go to per week.

28:14 Drew Well, I don't want to overwhelm you with that. You just go to one, you get yourself a sponsor and you follow his direction, okay?

28:21 Alrighty.

28:21 Drew That's all you got to do.

28:22 Can I ask you one more question?

28:26 What about taking sleeping pills, prescription or over the counter?

28:28 Is that like supplementation or?

28:30 Drew No, no, because you're withdrawing now. The withdrawal came out the last couple of weeks and the sleeplessness is part of that. If you can get by with just Benadryl, like 25 or 50 milligrams of bedtime, that's great.

28:39 Dr. Who What is, what are you talking about, which one is that?

28:42 Drew Benadryl is just an antihistamine. It can help you sleep. It's over the counter.

28:45 Dr. Who Really?

28:46 Drew Yeah, Benadryl.

28:46 Dr. Who I thought the antihistamine zipped you up.

28:49 Drew Some people, but usually they put you down. Benadryl particularly puts you to sleep. It's the decongestants that pick you up. Decongestants, the Sudafed and all that.

28:57 Dr. Who Oh, okay, but.

28:58 Drew Benadryl puts you down. And see, and there are.

29:01 Dr. Who What form does it come in, a pill?

29:03 Drew Yeah, it's a capsule, 25 milligrams capsule.

29:05 Dr. Who And for having congestion?

29:07 Drew It's for allergies, really.

29:08 Dr. Who I thought that made people zippy. People always complain about that. All right, well, why don't you just get a sleeping pill?

29:15 Drew Well, that's the other thing, Steve. If you really, for a week or so, if you talk to some doctors used to dealing with this, there are medicines. I don't mean prescription.

29:21 Dr. Who I mean, just go get a regular sleeping pill, like over the counter.

29:24 Drew Because you know what's in those over-the-counter sleeping pills? Banadryl. Banadryl.

29:27 Dr. Who Oh, well, yeah, but shouldn't, okay, but here's what I'm saying. If I wanna sleep, and I don't have any kind of prom with antihistamines, should I be taking the antihistamines or should I take this sleeping pill?

29:41 Drew They're the same, throw it on the counter. Sleeping pills are over the counter, it's actually just antihistamines.

29:46 Dr. Who All right, so if I got Tylenol PM or Simply Sleeper or-

29:53 Drew If you got Tylenol PM, I can't swear it for all the prides, but if you got Tylenol PM and Benadryl, same thing.

29:58 Dr. Who All right, but then there's a whole bunch of other, like SalmonX or whatever, just sleeping pills.

30:04 Drew Generally, those basically have Benadryl in them. That's basically what they are.

30:07 Dr. Who Okay, but why not just get the sleeping pill if you're gonna be sleeping? Why are you getting the antihistamine pill for?

30:11 Drew Because that's what's in the sleeping pills. I know. It's fine, whatever.

30:15 Dr. Who It's more expensive?

30:15 Drew Yeah, it's just a different way to do it. And it's harder to adjust the dose and stuff. With Benadryl, you take 25 or 50 milligrams, you're done, that's it.

30:22 Dr. Who Yeah. I'm gonna be angry when they come in, though. Something's gonna happen.

30:26 Adam Let me look it up on the computer.

30:27 Dr. Who You'll look it up.

30:28 Drew The doses are and stuff. But the fact is, because putt withdrawal could be pretty miserable, something like Klonopin or Librium, those kinds of drugs may be necessary.

30:36 Dr. Who Hey, but good times. I went to the symphony last night.

30:41 Drew Why did we both think of that simultaneously?

30:43 Dr. Who I don't know. I was thinking about it. Yeah.

30:46 Drew How was it?

30:47 Dr. Who Oh, it was, it was good, except a couple of experiences.

30:50 Drew What'd you hear first of all?

30:51 Dr. Who I have no idea. Went to the new, I didn't even get a flyer or brochure or whatever. I don't know what I was looking at. Hulled ass, made it on time. And then did you see, see Drew, Drew's wife and Drew scared me because first off, Drew's, we went out to dinner last night, my wife and Drew's wife and me and another couple. And we had to cut out just a little bit early because my wife got us tickets to the symphony, which I've never been to, which I've always wanted to go to.

31:23 Drew And in the new big concert hall.

31:24 Dr. Who In the new Disney, whatever thing. It was a really great looking, it's a beautiful place to see a concert. So I've always wanted to go and never have, well, I can't say if it was once ago, but recently thought you should go. I recently thought I should go. And it's fine. I enjoy myself. And so I started at eight. And we're like eating dinner. It was like 730 and it's going to be traffic and stuff. And so I said to Drew's wife, what time do you got to get? Oh, they started like 8.04, 8.05. I figured it was like a concert. You know, concert says it's starting at eight. It's a nice band goes out on stage like 8.35, 8.45 or something. I figured it would be at least 10, 15 minutes. No, as it turns out, it's just a couple of minutes. And then the other scary part is you get locked out. Once they start, you're locked out until they take their break. So we're hauling ass, running up the escalator, get to the top of the stairs. There's some chicks there. It's like, oh my God, Loveline, Adam's great. I said, look, I know, you know, it's tight, right? Yeah, I said, but do I got time to hit the bathroom? Oh yeah, you'll make the bathroom.

32:27 Drew Oh no.

32:28 Dr. Who Run in the bathroom, take a leak, start hustling back. It's like that door shut. It's like, honey, really? She's like, oh, I'm sorry.

32:37 Drew And your wife's in there?

32:38 Dr. Who No, my wife was standing out front pissed off. Oh. And she's yelling at me. Why, what, what'd you take so long? And I said, first off, I was pulling my dork out as I was going through the bathroom door. It's not like I stood there. Say it was about a 37 second whiz that I, it was one of those whizes that was an optional whiz. Did not have to take it. That's that whiz of, look, if it's a two hour car ride, I'm taking a whiz. But if we're just going over the hill, I'm cool. Unless you tell me we got plenty of time, which case, you know, might as well be comfortable. So I asked the usher chick, you know, can I take the whiz? And she's like, yeah, go ahead. I figure she stands there every night, you know, for the last five years. She must know what the thing is. She was very apologetic, which was fine. But just the idea that I didn't have to take the whiz, we got locked out. But here's the thing I was thinking about. First off, nothing hotter than than a Asian fiddle player. Playing that violin. It's very hot. It's sexy. In the evening gown and everything.

33:39 Black evening gown.

33:40 Dr. Who And they're just going away at that fiddle. Very nice. Secondly, the conductor. I thought if you cannot be a conductor with like a buzz cut.

33:51 Adam You have to have big hair.

33:53 Dr. Who Not only you have to have big hair, you have to have hair that comes undone. That let's everyone know just what you've been up to for the last 45 minutes to an hour. It's like this guy had sort of the half comb over and the thing and he's going with his hands and he's doing his thing. And you know, and then, you know, turn around. Hair, he just looks like a guy put his dork in an electric socket, you know. It's like stuff's flopping over. You know, the point is, if you're going to be a good conductor, you got to put yourself back together when you're done. Cause it looks like you've been doing something.

34:23 Drew Yes, that's right.

34:24 Dr. Who That's good. And the guy would leave and come back like 45, 50 times.

34:29 Drew That's very dramatic.

34:30 Dr. Who At the end, but it's like, it's the end of the concert. I got no idea what to expect. The concert ends. I think it ends, I'm not sure. Not sure. He gets up and he immediately storms out. Someone opens the door, boom, he storms out. As long as it takes him to turn back around, he storms right back out again. Does a quick bow, storms back out again. It's about a 30 foot walk till he gets off stage. Then basically turns around, he's not back there tallying off, he just takes a comb over and knocks it back into place. Pow, he's right back out again. Now sort of a three quarter bow, pow, he's off the stage again. Not even yet. He went back and forth like 14 times and then it was like orchestra, yes, yes, yes, first violinist, yes, yes, and now it's back out again. Now he's back out. Six or seven, literally six or seven times back and forth, but not hanging back and not no encores, just back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.

35:30 Drew You should see the opera.

35:31 Dr. Who Oh, thousands of back and forth.

35:33 Drew Well, because each character has to come out and get a couple and then they all come out together and then they go back. Then they all come out together with the conductor and then they all go back. Then the conductor comes out by himself and then they go back and then the conductor with the leads and then they go back, it's crazy.

35:45 Dr. Who Nobody left either, by the way, I guess it's considered rude. Oh, man, my hands were gonna fall off.

35:50 Drew What'd you hear?

35:50 Dr. Who Just clapping and clapping. I heard that Japanese chick playing the fiddle. I don't know what it was. I only recognize one of the songs from like a...

35:59 Drew A Bugs Bunny Cartoon Show.

36:00 Dr. Who Probably, probably, I don't know. But it was enjoyable. I had the only guy in the entire venue in front of me was yelling Bravo, by the way, which I liked because it was like old school. Bravo! It's like attack of the nerds in there, though. Just a bunch of sort of husky guys and tweed jackets. And yeah, well, the straight guys are heavy. The homos are skinny and they're like screaming Bravo. And they're, you know, this pounding on, oh, it's great.

36:32 Drew All right.

36:33 Dr. Who So you want the new Disney.

36:35 Drew Joining the culture elite now.

36:37 Adam It's good. Sarah?

36:40 Dr. Who You're 24?

36:41 Yeah.

36:42 Dr. Who What's up?

36:43 I was wondering what kind of cure there is for, for like an infection, urinary infection thing.

36:48 Drew It hurts when you pee? The antibiotics, you gotta call your doctor.

36:53 Okay, I did that and they didn't work, whatever.

36:55 Drew What do you mean they didn't work?

36:57 I mean, I took them for a week and they're still there.

37:00 Drew What'd you take? What antibiotics? Ceptra?

37:06 A Ceptra, something like that?

37:12 Drew Oh, metronidazole, woo, that would not work for this at all.

37:15 Dr. Who Really?

37:15 Drew He thinks you have a, like a yeast or a sexually transmitted disease or vaginitis. I don't mean yeast, a vaginitis or a sexually transmitted disease.

37:23 Dr. Who I thought the metro was for yeast, too.

37:26 Drew No, that's flu cans for the yeast. Flagyl is metronidazole and that will not work for urinary tract infection at all. So, what kind of doctor was that?

37:35 Oh, like a Chinese doctor. It's like a pediatrician.

37:39 Dr. Who I see.

37:41 Drew You're 24, you're seeing a pediatrician?

37:42 Caller I'm 25.

37:44 Drew You're 25 and you're seeing a pediatrician?

37:46 Caller Well, not a pediatrician, but it's like a small clinic, so I don't think they know what they're doing over there.

37:50 Drew Well, they thought you had a vaginal infection and you probably have a bladder infection, so you need more appropriate antibiotics, so call them in.

37:55 Dr. Who It's a nice little touché, though. You're 24 and you're seeing a pediatrician? 25. Ah, touché.

38:01 Drew Yeah, why'd you say so?

38:02 Dr. Who That's different. 40 would have been even better, but all right, get back in there. And let me tell you something, y'all. What kind of doctor? Here's the, here's probably on a roll for my Asian fiddle player. Very sexy, very sexy.

38:25 Drew Young too, usually.

38:26 Dr. Who Oh, see, that's the whole thing about the orchestra there. The only ones under 25 or 30 are the Asian chicks. Yeah, yeah, she was a hot. And then there's the harp chick. There was two harp chicks playing the harp. And I think to myself, what gets you onto the harp?

38:45 Drew Yeah.

38:45 Dr. Who Like how do you even, I don't think I even saw a harp in person before the age of 30.

38:50 Drew Yeah.

38:51 Dr. Who I don't know what gets you onto the harp. The other thing I like is the percussion guys. Guy just sitting there, he's got a triangle. He's bored off his ass. He's holding that triangle and he's just holding it and holding it and it's holding it like eight minutes later, doink, sits back down again. And I thought, hey, that's, that's your mic gig. Yeah. Yeah. Cause those fiddlers, I mean, they're, they're, they're working. They're losing five, six pounds and, and you know, just a body weight up there, you know, sweating it off, they got towels everywhere, but the guy plays a triangle. Then once while he puts that up and he picks up a drumstick and he whacks something once. That's a good gig. All right. We're going to take a little break. Screws boyfriend, less boyfriend. He can't get her off, huh? Screws boyfriend. Less. Because, oh, because he can't get her off. Used to fake. Now frustrated. Speak to young Heather.

39:41 Surprise, surprise.

39:42 Dr. Who After this.

39:42 Loveline.

40:06 Dr. Who That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1.

40:11 Drew And I want to say, please people support my book. I haven't talked about it a long time, but it's called Cracked and I really want people to read it.

40:18 Dr. Who Yeah, it's important.

40:22 Drew What was that?

40:23 Dr. Who Where is Dr. Drew? Oh, you know, Drew, the show goes on even without you.

40:28 Drew So, are my kids asking for me or what?

40:30 Dr. Who We had Dr. Alt. Dr. Alt are in here.

40:33 Drew How was it? You learn anything more about general reconstruction?

40:37 Dr. Who No, I learned. You know, I was calling him the, I was basically saying that a stock and trade was gender reassignment. And you know, that was basically what he was known for. And he said, well, that's untrue. And I said, all right, well, when did you, when did you do your last gender reassignment yesterday?

41:00 Drew Did you ask him about the four-limbed, three-limbed individuals stuck in a four-limbed body?

41:04 Dr. Who Oh, I yelled at him with that, you know, there's a woman, what's matter with you? It's like retarded. I told him that the woman trapped inside a man's body, like some legitimate, like a legitimate medical condition, like you have a parasite in you or something. I mean, really replace man, you know, replace woman trapped inside. Put Elvis, put Napoleon, put an octopus, put Jesus Christ, put a giraffe. It's all the same, isn't it? You've made up something that doesn't exist and said it lives inside you and is looking to get out. There's a giraffe living. I want my neck extended.

41:43 Drew Again, even just something simpler, like I'm a nine fingered person stuck in a 10 fingered person's body.

41:48 Dr. Who Yeah.

41:49 Drew So take that finger off.

41:50 Dr. Who Yeah, you pick the finger, not the pink on my right hand, that's for picking my nose.

41:55 Drew And not the middle finger.

41:56 Dr. Who Yeah, gonna need that.

41:57 Dr. Who Gonna need that for my folks.

42:00 Dr. Who Yeah.

42:00 Dr. Who It's great. All right, let's keep rocking here, Drew. Yeah, yelled at him. But, you know, he's such a lovable guy. It's hard to keep up. Smart too, super smart. Yeah. But not so smart that after piling it on and then asking him when he did his last gender reassignment, he didn't think the lie, he had to say yesterday. Like I knew. Oh yeah, got some anesthesiologist buddy of mine told me differently. Like if he said like two months ago. I'd get some inside dope on him. All right. Heather.

42:36 Hello.

42:37 Dr. Who Hello. What's happening Heads?

42:41 Dr. Who Nothing, don't call me Head.

42:43 I just want to tell you I love you so much and you got me through puberty.

42:46 Dr. Who Thank you.

42:52 Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice.

42:54 Dr. Who What is up ladies?

42:56 Nothing, I'm just having a little problem with my boyfriend. Lately, I don't know, we've been dating about five months and recently I kind of stopped faking it and it's kind of screwed up our sex life because now he realizes he can't get me off. He's all distracted and he gets all weird. Like we didn't have sex yesterday on Valentine's Day and like everything just sucks. So I don't know, I guess I want some advice on how to make him feel at home.

43:20 Drew Well, a couple of things, whoa, whoa, a couple of things. First of all, are you sure this relationship is meant to survive?

43:27 I mean, yeah, I mean, I really love him and everything I'm in for the long run.

43:31 Drew And you understand by faking it, you're having done that was, now he knows you were faking it all this time?

43:38 Well, now he does, yeah.

43:39 Drew He does. And then that's pretty shattering to a guy.

43:42 Dr. Who Now he does because he has a radio.

43:44 I mean.

43:45 Dr. Who Oh, wait a second, hold on. How old is this guy?

43:48 He's 18. 18.

43:50 Dr. Who 18. You guys been together for how long?

43:52 Five or six months now, probably almost six.

43:56 Dr. Who And he, did you tell him you were faking or does he have a radio?

44:03 Dr. Who I hope he's not listening.

44:04 Drew You told him though.

44:05 Dr. Who You told him.

44:06 Yeah, I basically told him.

44:08 Dr. Who Okay, that's, that's gonna.

44:10 Drew That's tough for guys to take.

44:12 Dr. Who That's gonna, that's taking a dump in his punch ball.

44:14 Drew Yeah.

44:15 But he'll never learn if I didn't say that.

44:17 Drew No, no, yeah, we're all for that. We're all for you being honest about it. We don't think you should have faked in the first place, but here's the thing about guys.

44:22 Caller I do.

44:23 Drew But here's the deal. This, this again, having been thinking about this, working for the Trojan Condom People this week, I was thinking about men and women and how different we all are. Men cannot imagine having sex without an orgasm. That is, especially if you're aroused and into it. If you, if you are actually excited, hold on. If you actually excited and it doesn't end in an orgasm, that we can't get our head around that, right? It's like, no, either, the only way we can rationalize is, well, you're not into it or you have a brain tumor. It's like, we just can't figure it out. So his assumption is either you're not into it, which is bad times for him, or he's just got to figure out how to unlock the code.

45:03 Dr. Who Right.

45:04 Drew And neither likely to be the case.

45:07 Dr. Who All right, so the answer is, don't get pregnant. He can start easing himself back into a rhythm, but she almost sounds a little.

45:19 Drew I doubt she's ever had an orgasm.

45:20 Dr. Who Yeah, she says she loves him, but she's also a little bit of a ball breaker. Heather's kind of hot though. Heather?

45:27 Caller Yeah.

45:28 Dr. Who You're a good looking chick, right?

45:29 Caller Yeah, I am actually.

45:30 Dr. Who Yeah.

45:31 Drew Have you ever had an orgasm? With a guy?

45:35 Caller Yeah, with my other boyfriend.

45:37 Drew Oh, he'll love that.

45:40 Dr. Who Listen.

45:40 Drew We don't think you're that into this guy.

45:41 Dr. Who We don't think you're that into the guy. Not only do we think you're not that into the guy, but we think there's a little payback going on. Like.

45:48 Caller No, I mean, I told him I can be happy when I don't have an orgasm. I mean, as long as I get to some point. But now he won't even have sex with me because he's scared to.

45:55 Dr. Who Did he cheat or anything like that?

45:57 Caller I don't know. I don't think so.

45:59 Drew Were you mad at him for something?

46:01 Caller Not really.

46:01 Drew Not really.

46:04 Caller I mean, we've been fighting a lot, kind of, lately.

46:06 Drew It sounds like that. We were picking up on that.

46:08 Dr. Who There's a little venom in your voice.

46:10 Drew Yeah, there's a little frustration and, like, hostility.

46:13 Dr. Who Yeah.

46:14 Drew That's why we're wondering whether you're really into this.

46:15 Dr. Who Maybe I would just chalk this one up to experience and move on.

46:18 Dr. Who Are you that much into him?

46:20 Drew You're just in love with being in love with him.

46:22 Dr. Who And what happened to your last boyfriend? Who dumped who?

46:26 Caller Who dumped who last boyfriend?

46:29 Dr. Who All right. I got it.

46:31 Drew Yeah, mad at guys. Just mad at guys.

46:32 Dr. Who Yeah, mad at guys and this guy's a little rebound, a little confidence builder, not quite up to Heather's number. And Heather knows it like, Heather's a good eight and a half, but she was dating a nine who dumped her. And now she slid down to a seven to try to build herself back up. She's done building herself up. She's a little angry, a little weary.

46:54 Drew She's only bothered with him.

46:55 Dr. Who Break up with him. Don't do him any more favors. And he's going to cling a little, so hang on.

47:00 Drew Oh boy.

47:00 Dr. Who We'll take a quick break. Drew back. Easy, buddy. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. All right, guys.

47:09 Here's the deal.

47:09 Adam Look in the hookup. Call the Dateline. Stick a waste in time with the wrong person. Call the Dateline.

47:14 One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

47:21 Caller You know what I'm saying, I'm dead?

47:53 Drew Can I cut 100? Oh no, strokes.

47:54 Dr. Who Yeah. Everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. All right. We're going back to phones. Now, a little earlier in the evening, I was talking about my night at the new Disney Center. Is that what it's called?

48:12 Drew Disney Concert Hall, yeah.

48:13 Dr. Who Disney Concert Hall out here in Los Angeles. Went to the symphony last night with the old lady. And saying how a nice usher girl stopped me from, told me, gave me the green light on number one.

48:26 Drew To go pig.

48:27 Dr. Who Gave me the green light on the yellow. And then we got locked out. Roxy. Was that you, baby doll?

48:36 Dr. Who I am so, so sorry.

48:40 But usually they start at least about three more minutes like after the time. So they'll start at like 8 0 8 instead of 8 0 5. So I really thought you were going to have a chance to go.

48:51 Dr. Who That's all right. It's just my wife blamed me. That was the part.

48:58 She totally did. When I went up and said, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Are you mad at me? She said, oh yeah, he's mad at you. He was just talking about how much he hated you.

49:04 Adam Oh, what?

49:06 Dr. Who No, she didn't.

49:08 That's what she said. That's what she said.

49:10 Drew She was kidding.

49:11 Dr. Who She was kidding. I was a delight to you, Roxie.

49:15 You were such a sweetheart.

49:18 Drew Roxie, he doesn't know what he heard. What were the pieces that were actually, who were the composers?

49:22 Dr. Who She doesn't know either.

49:26 Adam Who were they last night?

49:30 Dr. Who Angie or Chris over here doesn't know both our names. He knows me, he doesn't know that you are.

49:35 Drew Roxie, you have no idea what the composers were last night?

49:38 Caller No, I don't, I don't. I'm so sorry.

49:42 Drew Poor Roxie apologizing all the way around.

49:44 Caller I know, I apologize for all kinds of things all the time.

49:47 Drew Who was going to that?

49:48 Dr. Who Oh, come on, baby doll. How'd you get the gig as the charrette over there at the Disney Music Hall?

49:55 Caller Okay, well, I started working there only because Bjork was going to perform at the pavilion across the street. So that's how I got that job. And then when the Disney Hall opened up, they just moved most of us over there. So I work at all the theaters there. Not just at one of them.

50:12 Dr. Who Okay, all right. And how many theaters do they have there?

50:16 Drew The Omensons, the Mark Taper, the Chandler.

50:18 Caller The Omensons, the Mark Taper, the pavilion, and then the new Disney Hall.

50:22 Dr. Who That's a decent gig.

50:23 Drew It's a great gig.

50:24 Dr. Who I could see myself.

50:25 Caller Yeah, you get to listen to great music all the time.

50:27 Dr. Who Yeah, that you never heard of and don't know what its origins are.

50:31 Drew She doesn't pay for it like you do.

50:33 Dr. Who She's wearing that blazer.

50:35 Dr. Who It's looking good.

50:36 Caller Yeah, that thing is kind of heavy sometimes, but you look good in the blazer. Yeah, it's warm.

50:42 Dr. Who Gray slacks. It's a smart look.

50:45 Drew Little tie.

50:45 Caller Well, they were black, but yeah.

50:47 Dr. Who Black slacks. Sorry, you know, I had a nip of wine, you know, off course. Well, I had to drink. I had to numb myself. Do you understand?

50:59 Caller He had two drinks before he went inside. One, the one that he put down right before he went inside.

51:07 Drew Oh, when was he actually able to sneak him in?

51:09 Caller I got him in five minutes after it started.

51:13 Dr. Who Well, it wasn't bad.

51:15 Drew Thank you.

51:16 Dr. Who No, I didn't have two drinks. I had the one drink.

51:19 Drew And then I had another one. She doesn't know you had a bottle of wine before you got there with us.

51:25 Dr. Who What are you gonna do? All right, Travis.

51:30 Caller Hey, how you doing?

51:30 Dr. Who You're 20, what's up?

51:32 Caller Well, fun stuff. First, I just wanna say you guys are great. I think you guys probably have about the most balanced outlook on life of anyone. Oh, thanks, Travis.

51:43 Dr. Who Well, here, let me explain something about our, what might, what you call a balanced outlook on life, which is other people on the radio would have a balanced outlook on life if they didn't lie. They just lie about stuff because they can't, here's the whole thing about radio.

51:59 Drew It's not just radio, it's our culture, right?

52:02 Dr. Who The people you see on TV and especially the people you hear on the radio have a persona that they have to keep up. So you don't really get who they are. Like here's the whole thing. I shouldn't be talking about going to the symphony. Do you understand? Because it doesn't bode well with my, you know, young, stupid, misogynistic, whatever persona I should have to do this half of the radio. You understand? And Drew shouldn't say he's in favor of legalizing marijuana because it wouldn't work well with his persona that radio dictates you should have. Our problem is, is we don't really have that. And so it seems like we're sort of sensible. And other people don't seem sensible. If you saw them, if you heard them off the radio, they would sound sensible, but they're not, they're cowards. They have to pick a strong angle. I don't really call it cowardly. What'd you call it, Drew? They're insecure. They don't think they can be entertaining and sort of ride a fence. Be real, be real. Yeah, they gotta be black or white about something. If they're Republican, they have to agree with everything Bush does. They're Democrat, they have to agree with everything Kerry does, and that's it. They don't actually think that way. That's just the way they have to sound on the radio. Thanks, Travis.

53:16 Caller Yeah, no problem. I guess, there's actually two questions and the second one's a little more serious, but first, I actually had basically just a condom broke last night. I'm not really normally concerned because my girlfriend's on birth control as well, but I guess she was about maybe like 12 hours off, two days in a row with her pills and we're worried, how serious is that? Should we go to a doctor? Should we get a morning after pill?

53:41 Drew So, earlier in the month, she was 12 hours off twice?

53:45 Dr. Who Or right off of last few days?

53:47 Caller That's late, two days in a row.

53:49 Drew No, there's not much you can do about that really. It's gonna be what it's gonna be. She's probably fine. And I don't think you...

53:56 Dr. Who What about morning after steps?

53:57 Drew So, have her double down? Maybe, basically, we're talking about her doubling up on her pills. She's already on her pills. Where is she on the cycle, do you know?

54:07 Caller I'm not sure.

54:08 Drew I just think it's gonna work nearly as well as it's supposed to, just not exactly as well as it's supposed to, missing it by a few hours like that. I don't think doubling down is gonna add anything. I really don't.

54:19 Caller Mm-hmm. My other thing, I guess this is kinda a little history. I've been basically smoking heroin, opium, whatever you wanna call it, for about six months.

54:33 Drew Yes.

54:33 Caller And that's become a pretty serious problem. I've tried a lot of times to quit. I quit for a few weeks and I kinda get drawn back because the withdrawals get pretty intense.

54:45 Drew Well, it's not just the withdrawals. Once you get through the withdrawals, you're still gonna go back, unless you get treatment. That is a absolute guarantee. Opiate addiction is the most serious form of addiction and it does not remit by itself. And everyone has a fantasy belief that if I could just get through the withdrawal, then I'll be fine. The fact is it alters permanently the motivational priorities of your brain and that requires treatment.

55:12 Caller Mm-hmm.

55:15 Drew So go to NA. Go to NA, baby, Don. And see if you can get somebody, get some referrals and get some.

55:20 Caller How much can they do? Because I know there's a lot of drugs they can give you because it is an opiate thing. Is there stuff they can do to kind of ease the withdrawals at all?

55:28 Drew Yeah, I treat it every day, but I do it, I don't treat opiate addiction outside a hospital. I just don't believe it's.

55:33 Dr. Who You don't do it out in the parking lot?

55:34 Drew No, I just, I require people to come in the hospital for it, it just never works.

55:38 Dr. Who You mean just stay in the hospital?

55:39 Drew Stay in the hospital for five to seven days. And yes, it can make it very easy.

55:43 Dr. Who Five to seven days. Not very easy.

55:45 Drew Much easier, yeah.

55:45 Dr. Who Five to seven days? That's it?

55:47 Drew That's it.

55:49 Dr. Who For what?

55:50 Drew For opiate withdrawal.

55:51 Dr. Who Oh, really?

55:51 Drew Yeah. Yeah. It's no big deal. It's no big deal. That's the thing that kills me. People have to go get general anesthesia, all this stuff. Opiate withdrawal, no problem. Get you through it.

56:00 Dr. Who But is there some sort of sober living or something they should go to after that?

56:04 Drew Oh yeah, they need, that's not treatment. That's just getting them to withdrawal.

56:07 Dr. Who Right, they go hang with you for a week and then it's off to the loony bin. A bunch of guys chain smoking, putting stuff out in coffee cans. What is it, by the way, that these guys can't invest in ashtrays? You always see these guys, they're always sitting on the picnic tables. They got the trash, they got the coffee can, they got some sand in it and stuff. They never just have regular ashtrays. I don't know what that is.

56:27 Drew Ashtrays are not cool anymore. Those are from the 50s.

56:30 Dr. Who It's such a volume of smoking that goes on.

56:32 Drew I think that's part of it, that the sheer magnitude overwhelm any ashtray.

56:37 Dr. Who You can't have the holiday in an ashtray. You gotta have just like a huge five-gallon Sanka can there, Hills Brothers can, or some of these guys always sitting out on the picnic table just smoking.

56:51 Drew It's good times.

56:52 Dr. Who You know the thing that's funny about when you see people go out and smoke, sometimes it's a social thing, but most of the time the people, the only thing they have in common is the smoking. So it's like five people sitting at a picnic table with their backs all turned to each other smoking.

57:06 Drew My favorite place is the little bins at the airport they all have to go into.

57:11 Dr. Who They should have, you know, they're constantly beating on kids not to smoke, you know? They really need to arrange field trips to the airport. Take them to the Vegas airport there. Look at it, they have, it's really like a terrarium for smokers. Like kids could come up, like, don't feed them, Johnny. Well, I got some extra honey roasted nuts. No, no, no, no.

57:39 Drew No. Have you seen that 60s gate terminal at the United where they've got the outdoor bin?

57:45 Dr. Who Oh yeah.

57:45 Adam That's great, that's great.

57:46 Dr. Who But at least that's outdoors.

57:47 Drew Yeah, but it's got high fences around it. It looks like a holding tank.

57:51 Dr. Who I like the box.

57:53 Adam Yeah, the glass box.

57:54 Dr. Who The glass box. You can just go in and observe the smoker in his natural habitat. It's great. Like they really should just throw like a tire swing in there, be like a monkey cage. And they're all, everyone's just sitting there smoking. And everyone's just walking by looking at them like loser. You're so chained to your addiction, you can't even make it out to the curb, you know, or you're getting onto the plane and you got to suck a butt up, you know. And of course, now, however much smoke you're taking in when you're smoking a cigarette, it's gotta be 70 times as much as you, I mean, it's like firemen don't go into that kind of environment.

58:31 Drew How do you have to light up in there?

58:33 Dr. Who Yeah, yeah.

58:33 Drew Go into a couple deep breaths.

58:34 Dr. Who That's a good point. That's a good point. I mean, like if you're running low on butts, as a matter of fact, you just-

58:39 Drew Save some money.

58:40 Dr. Who Break a filter off and just put it in your mouth and put like a funnel on the end of the, on the end of it. Two filters in your nose and then one with a funnel on the end of it, like a Dr. Seuss horn. You just sit there, just smoking, smoking everyone else's smoke. That's great. I love, I really, I just love the glass thing. And I just, you know, I just, you should, there should just be a field trip. Kids should come up, they should line up. Take a look at the smokers, everybody. This could be you.

59:11 Dr. Who Yeah. All right.

59:12 Dr. Who And by the way, whatever's going around on that plane, I guarantee is worse, worse than a couple of cigarettes from a respiratory standpoint at the six, you know, you're flying 18 hours into Taiwan. But some guys on the plane's got SARS, but believe me, there's something weird going through that, whatever's going through that plane.

59:29 Drew Every patient that I have, that I see that, that in my practice, that ends up going to the Orient, to Asia, comes back with a respiratory infection every time they go.

59:40 Dr. Who Well, they smoke. They're all smokers. Corey?

59:44 Caller Yes?

59:45 Dr. Who You're, you're 16?

59:47 Caller Yes.

59:47 Dr. Who At least in Vegas, they have slot machines in the smokers thing. So you can sit there and sort of double down on two addictions.

59:54 Drew Is there, is there a smokers thing in Vegas? Isn't it the smoking airport?

59:57 Dr. Who No, there's no smoking airports anymore. I don't think there's any smoking airports in the United States, but there is, Vegas has the cage.

1:00:05 Drew Well, their cage is elsewhere too. There's some really obtuse ones.

1:00:07 Dr. Who Oh, there's some great, yeah, some great ones. All right, go ahead, Corey.

1:00:11 Caller Hi, I'm here to push for Dr. Drew. Yeah. And I was wondering if you knew of any weight support groups in Maryland?

1:00:21 Drew What, what do you mean, overeating?

1:00:23 Caller Yeah, correct.

1:00:25 Dr. Who What are you, what are you coming in at?

1:00:27 Caller I'm about 250 and I'm about 5'11.

1:00:32 Dr. Who And you're, you're 16? Are your parents big?

1:00:36 Caller No.

1:00:37 Dr. Who They're not?

1:00:38 Caller Well, my mom is, but my dad, he was in the Navy, so he's not like huge, but I mean, he's average.

1:00:45 Drew Here, you're overthinking everything. You've got everything all figured out.

1:00:48 Dr. Who Yeah, Navy doesn't, listen, remember in Gilligan's Island, the skipper, fattest guy on the island?

1:00:54 Drew He was in the Navy too.

1:00:54 Dr. Who He was in the Navy, that's right.

1:00:57 Drew Captain in the Navy.

1:00:58 Dr. Who I know, skipper, I don't know what the hell he was. He was drummed out for hitting a guy with his hat. Drew, what happened to people hitting people with their hat?

1:01:10 Adam Not so popular anymore.

1:01:11 Dr. Who They don't wear hats anymore. Okay, so, Corey. Let's talk about your diet, eating a lot?

1:01:19 Caller Well, actually, me and my dad are starting up this body for life program. Hopefully, that will help me lose some weight.

1:01:27 Drew All right, that's a good program.

1:01:29 Caller Play football and all.

1:01:30 Dr. Who How does that, how does that-

1:01:31 Drew You do play football?

1:01:32 Caller Yes, I do.

1:01:33 Dr. Who How does that program go? What do you eat?

1:01:35 Drew It's just an exercise.

1:01:37 Caller It's, you eat six meals a day, and it's basically, you try and eat as many or as much, or you try and even out your protein and carbs. So you're trying to just turn out a protein and carbs and-

1:01:47 Drew This is a pretty reasonable diet. A lot of exercise, a lot of cardio in it. And- The other options are get a dietitian and have them follow with you, or go to OA if you wish. But I don't think you, it doesn't seem like you need that kind of thing. You just think you're a big guy.

1:02:02 Dr. Who What are you doing? What position are you playing football?

1:02:05 Caller Tackle.

1:02:07 Drew How small do you need to get?

1:02:09 Caller Well, it's not that it matters how small. I'd just rather, I mean, I just want to lose some weight. So I'd-

1:02:15 Drew That's fine.

1:02:16 Caller I guess I'd have more confidence because later on I'd like to be going to the Marines.

1:02:22 Drew This is all going to take care of itself. Yeah. It's what you call baby fat, I bet you.

1:02:25 Dr. Who Yeah. And listen, they'll take whoever rolls into that recruiter's office. Like we have a very stringent test. Now you're in. It's like the smoker's pen at the Vegas airport. Like here's what you need to get in. Feet. That's how you get in. Initiation is you walking into the recruiter's office.

1:02:44 Dr. Who Actually in.

1:02:45 Dr. Who We'll take you.

1:02:46 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:02:46 Dr. Who I would imagine the brains. Well, I would imagine now especially. Everyone being recruited. I mean, all these guys that are in, these guys were all being called up. Yeah. The guys thought they're putting in a weekend, a month for a couple of years. Next thing you know, you're in Iraq. By the way, that's going to be just bad timing. Because you go into the reserve and you figure, look, I'm in medical, dental, I put a couple of weekends in.

1:03:15 Drew You figure most of them will be called up for public, for National Guard type duty.

1:03:20 Dr. Who Yeah. There's a little looting going on. I got to hop in the back of a jeep to drive down Beverly Boulevard. But now you're in Iraq. That's got to suck.

1:03:34 Dr. Who All right.

1:03:35 Dr. Who Let's talk to Carly, who's 24. Carly? What's up, baby doll?

1:03:46 Dr. Who Yeah. It's funny because the call you took is kind of on the same lines as mine. I wanted to ask Dr. Drew some questions about therapists and confidentiality. I wanted to talk to one about, I guess, an eating disorder and I just didn't know if they thought something was life-threatening. Could they get outside help and commit me to a hospital?

1:04:07 Drew Yes. If they thought your behavior was going to kill you, or that you were actively trying to kill yourself, yes, eventually you get help as a product.

1:04:17 Dr. Who What are the rules with that?

1:04:19 Drew There's three basic conditions where people can take over. One is where you plan to harm yourself, two is where you plan to harm somebody else, and three is where you're what's called gravely disabled, which means you basically can't take care of yourself.

1:04:32 Dr. Who I think that's me.

1:04:33 Drew Yeah. I think I'm the third.

1:04:37 Dr. Who So what, what do you got, eating disorder, Carly? I think so.

1:04:41 Drew I don't know. Yeah, but think how many people have eating disorders and are not committed. Really, it's very hard call to say somebody's imminently going to die, or plans to kill themselves because of eating disorder.

1:04:51 Dr. Who Just go be upfront with your therapist and take care of your eating disorder.

1:04:55 Drew Here's what this is all about, Carly. You don't want to get well, and that's the bottom line. That's the bottom line because, Carly, they're going to make you get well, and you don't want to do that.

1:05:04 Dr. Who Thirty-three pounds. How much do you weigh now? Mm-hmm. You want to get down to ninety?

1:05:13 Dr. Who Yeah. Well, I'm short. I'm like five-four.

1:05:15 Dr. Who Five-four.

1:05:17 Dr. Who Once I do that, then I'll stop, but I just want to talk to somebody because I think I'm going about it the wrong way.

1:05:24 Drew Five-four. Let's start with the dietician.

1:05:27 Dr. Who Ninety pounds is a little bit light for five-four.

1:05:30 Drew Yeah. It's ridiculous.

1:05:32 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:05:33 Dr. Who Dieticians are like fifteen bucks a minute.

1:05:37 Drew Corolla, here we go. You just don't want to do this. That's the bottom line here. You don't want to. You don't want anybody to tell you what to do. You know you're doing something dangerous, but you don't really want to change. That's the bottom line.

1:05:48 Dr. Who It's the bottom line.

1:05:52 Drew There's a piece of you that's healthy and it wants to do what's right. You can either do it or not.

1:05:57 Dr. Who It's starting to scare me a little bit about how I'm doing things.

1:06:00 Drew That's right. You're going to harm yourself and you know you are, but you ain't about to stop. It means there's a lot more going on here you don't want to deal with than just the eating.

1:06:08 Dr. Who Well, let me explain this to those who have this eating disorder. I know Drew always yells at me for trying to talk a little sense into people that have a disorder, but here goes anyway for Carly and anyone else who's trying to do it. In your mind, when you look in the mirror, you always see a fat person. Even at 90 pounds, you're going to see someone who's fat. As a society, and this is what you really need to be focusing on, pleasing society. Well, thank you. 90 pounds is abnormally skinny and grotesque in its own way. How attractive. I'll put it this way. Most guys I know would take a chick that had 10 extra pounds on her, maybe 20, rather than one that was sort of emaciated. Absolutely. Yeah, especially when you're a man like Drew of extreme passion, where you could physically hurt somebody of that size. Weakened bones, smaller pelvis areas, less muscle and flesh on them. Drew literally snapped them like kindling with his passion. You understand? So as screwed up as you are and as bad as you feel about yourself, and as you looking in the mirror seeing a fat chick staring back.

1:07:28 Drew That's going to solve everything.

1:07:30 Dr. Who There's got to be a part of your mind that can throw out some numbers, can dial the phone, can talk to us. And I am telling that part of your mind that 90 pounds and 5'4 is grotesque looking.

1:07:46 Drew That's right. But that this decision to make things good and to manage your feelings by correcting all your problems with weight loss, that's the bigger issue here. There's something really going on there.

1:08:00 Dr. Who Yeah. That's, you know, but good times.

1:08:03 Drew Good times, for sure.

1:08:04 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:08:04 Drew Of course.

1:08:05 Dr. Who She's got to, what, should she just start with OA or something or what should she do?

1:08:10 Drew She needs a professional in her life. It's a dietitian or therapist, whatever, no one's going to force her into a hospital with the way she's thinking at this stage of the game. And you know, start taking direction. It's all very simple. No one's going to, no one can force you to do things you don't want to do, but there's a lot more going on here than you realize.

1:08:29 Dr. Who Speaking of eating, by the way, and oh my God, I swear to, I've been, I've been F'd in the A by this, the literally the last two times I went out to eat, which is, we went out to eat, I went out with Drew last night.

1:08:45 Drew Was that last night?

1:08:46 Dr. Who That was last night. Wanted the, wanted the prime rib.

1:08:50 Drew Oh yeah.

1:08:50 Dr. Who The reason I wanted the prime rib is because the last time I went out to dinner to a different place a week earlier, ordered the prime rib and was told it was a mistake, it was not on the menu, that shouldn't be on there. Now, here's the whole thing about ordering everybody. Man, when you see something, it is a visceral primal reaction. I mean, when you think about ordering food and especially when you're hungry and especially when you're, you know, you're not at the falafel joint. You're at a place that has, you know, 40 different types of meat.

1:09:22 Drew You've been looking forward to it all day. You've been looking forward to it.

1:09:24 Dr. Who But I mean, even if I, it doesn't matter if it's fish, if it's pasta, if it's chicken, whatever it is, you taste it. It, you know, in your mind, you want to taste it, you want it, and you sort of lock into it a little bit. And when you have the discussion with the waiter slash waitress about it and then make your decision, even if it was between this one and that, oh, it's between the T-bone and the and the prime rib, once you establish one, when they come back and tell you we're out of it, it's like you're ready just to pick up and go home. Like it's it's devastating.

1:10:00 Drew The train has left the station at that point.

1:10:02 Dr. Who It just has. And whatever comes after that is fine. But it's not what you wanted. I'm not I'm not going to be a drama queen and say the night has been ruined by that.

1:10:14 Adam But you did say that.

1:10:15 Drew You said that last night.

1:10:16 Dr. Who Okay.

1:10:16 Drew Maybe not for radio. Maybe you actually said it in person.

1:10:19 Dr. Who That may have been the wine talking. But the point is, is it is it substantially cut into the evening.

1:10:25 Drew The waitress sold it to you with all kinds of extra sort of descriptions about that.

1:10:29 Dr. Who You want the cut.

1:10:30 Dr. Who You want the end cut. That's usually.

1:10:32 Dr. Who Horseradish. And cut. Horseradish.

1:10:33 Dr. Who That's a little.

1:10:35 Adam It goes well with the cream mushroom.

1:10:38 Dr. Who I said, well, I don't like the end cut because it would be a little dry, but I don't want the pink center. She said, well, we'll give you a center cut. We'll toss it on the grill for me. You know, we'll cook it up with the heat up. And I'm picturing that horseradish sauce. And then she, you know, they come back. And here's the thing.

1:10:55 Drew Timing on that's key, too.

1:10:56 Dr. Who When you come back and you don't got that prime rib, you need to come back. You need to have an offering. First off, you can't have that, oh, a FYI out of the prime rib. Get over it. And let's pick something else. No, here's what you need. I need like, listen, Adam, can we talk? Yeah. What's up?

1:11:15 Drew It's an emergency.

1:11:15 Dr. Who Not here. Not here.

1:11:17 Drew Come into our debriefing room.

1:11:19 Dr. Who We go out to the car, smoke cigarettes. What's on your mind, baby? Out of the primer.

1:11:26 Dr. Who Oh, hold on.

1:11:27 Dr. Who Easy.

1:11:28 Dr. Who Easy.

1:11:28 Dr. Who No. I start climbing out of the car. Adam, no. Don't do anything stupid. You take it out on yourself, man. Okay. We talked about other meat options and I brought this. That's what I need. I need to be debriefed. Like, I need that. You know what I need? Like, you know, the counselors that were waiting at the school after Columbine. I need that group. I need that team to come out.

1:11:53 Drew Then you need some compensation to right now.

1:11:55 Dr. Who Okay. Now, now this is what we're talking. We're talking. Look, we're knocking 10 bucks off the T bone or the fly.

1:12:03 Drew Yeah, and it's good. And then then you need to be debriefed. That's just the intro. That's to get you on board.

1:12:08 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:12:08 Drew And that's okay.

1:12:09 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:12:09 Dr. Who Here's how it has to go. Hey, Adam, good news and bad news. First off, good news. You're getting $20 off.

1:12:17 Adam Anything you want. Anything you want.

1:12:22 Dr. Who Except, except the prime rib. All you got to tell me is we're going to throw in one more stock of asparagus and I'd probably be happy to give you an extra dollop of sour cream on the potato. That whole we're out. Get over it. What's next? There should be lawsuits against restaurants. They should have to just give you that. It's not even a... Here's the whole thing. And we got to go to breakthrough, but here's what I'm saying. It's got nothing to do with money. It's being let down.

1:12:51 Adam It's easing you out of the letdown. Yeah.

1:12:53 Dr. Who If you said, look, we're out of the prime rib. We're going to comp all the sides tonight. You go, huh? Huh?

1:12:59 Adam Huh?

1:13:01 Drew The reality is they can say...

1:13:02 Dr. Who And you just tip it twice as much.

1:13:03 Drew This is Rita. She's a massage therapist.

1:13:06 Dr. Who Yes.

1:13:06 Drew She's going to give you a rub down. Now, during the rub down, I got to have a conversation with you.

1:13:11 Dr. Who I was definitely... The food was great, but the whole... Oh, I just spilled warm out. The whole time I'm eating, it's like, uh, this could have been prime rib. And I would argue, you know, being out of the prime rib is not like being out of the salmon.

1:13:23 Drew No, no.

1:13:24 Dr. Who This is a visceral. This is fat and horseradish and like burnt flesh.

1:13:29 Drew It's a ritual, too. Breaking.

1:13:32 Dr. Who We got to take a break. We'll be right back. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LLVE-191-ER. Back to the phones?

1:14:14 Drew What do you think? Let's go over here. There we are.

1:14:16 Dr. Who Talk to Lacey.

1:14:20 Dr. Who Hey there.

1:14:21 Dr. Who You're 30, what's up?

1:14:24 Dr. Who I was calling to ask you guys if I should tell someone I just started dating what my part-time job is, and if it would freak most guys out.

1:14:34 Dr. Who Well, attorney, what is the part-time job?

1:14:40 Drew Phone sex actress. Or operator, right?

1:14:42 Caller How long have you been doing that?

1:14:44 Dr. Who Well, a phone sex operator is really not a great, sounds like you're gonna patch you over to a vagina.

1:14:49 Drew Yeah, no, you're right. It's a phone sex actress, right? That's right. That's what that is.

1:14:55 Dr. Who That's what you are.

1:14:56 Drew How long have you been doing that?

1:15:00 Dr. Who How's the money?

1:15:01 Dr. Who Pretty good, actually. I average about 600 every two weeks and that's just logging on when I'm home doing nothing.

1:15:07 Drew Oh, really?

1:15:08 Dr. Who So you just make it when you want, huh?

1:15:11 Drew What does your male friend do? Security, he'll be fine.

1:15:17 Dr. Who Yeah, he'll get right over there. Yeah, he ain't much of a gig either.

1:15:22 Dr. Who How old is he? How old is he?

1:15:26 Drew 28.

1:15:27 Dr. Who 28, all right.

1:15:29 Drew You might get a little weird still. What else? That 17-year-old energy lingering.

1:15:32 Dr. Who What else do you do?

1:15:35 Dr. Who I work for university.

1:15:38 Dr. Who I see.

1:15:40 Drew And? Is he in an academic position? Okay.

1:15:47 Dr. Who And when you're doing the phone sex thing, how different are you than what you are physically and everything else?

1:15:55 Dr. Who I'm taller than I really am. And it depends on, if the dispatcher tells me the guy wants a blonde and I'm blonde.

1:16:05 Adam He's whatever the guy wants.

1:16:06 Drew She's whatever the guy wants.

1:16:09 Dr. Who But I mostly see what I look like, except for my height.

1:16:11 Drew Do you think the school will have any problem with what you're doing?

1:16:15 Dr. Who I don't know.

1:16:16 Dr. Who Who cares? And how long is the average conversation?

1:16:24 Dr. Who Well, they start at five minutes minimum. And I'd say average is about 15. And I've been on the phone with someone an hour and 20 minutes, sometimes two hours.

1:16:35 Dr. Who That's my old roommate, Ralph.

1:16:37 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:16:38 Dr. Who He has to get bills from Singapore and stuff.

1:16:41 Drew Seriously?

1:16:41 Dr. Who Because we'd go out of the country. Wow, a couple hours.

1:16:47 Dr. Who Right.

1:16:48 Dr. Who Yeah, it must have had a little whiskey dick going or something like that, it's probably coked up. It's probably, the guy's probably pretty coked up.

1:16:58 Dr. Who Yeah, he's coked up.

1:17:00 Dr. Who Do you think he was coked up? Yeah, and now is there a role, is there, hang on a sec. Her line's crappy, but see to me, if it was like five minutes and then it rolled over into another five or another five minute billing period or something, I'd be going like a maniac.

1:17:21 Drew They're trying to get it done by the five minute.

1:17:23 Dr. Who Which I don't want to do is like five minutes, five minute, one second, you're into the next billing period.

1:17:31 Drew Yeah.

1:17:31 Dr. Who Because then I would have to stay on to talk to her. Because I'm cheap. I'm so hot, do you have to keep talking?

1:17:41 Drew I was like, what do you really look like?

1:17:46 Dr. Who Oh, tear us down at the Home Depot today. What a disaster. Yeah, I'd just be talking about my mom and complaining about everything. I said I call on those weird, so I can just complain. You know, Drew, you and you and I are the same. Never, never called him on his phone sex. I got to see something. Yeah. You know what?

1:18:05 Drew Phone sex to me would be like, you guys are probably looking at something when they're talking to her.

1:18:10 Dr. Who Are they? To me, it's like calling a restaurant and they can describe their menu. Listen, I got to eat. I got to see something. Yeah. I don't want to just sit there with a guy going, you know, we've got to braise salmon and new brocca flour and slightly poach his brunei sauce. What am I doing? Either I'm coming over there and eating or I'm not. I don't want to talk about it. I mean, it's nice. It gets me salivating a little bit, but now I'm hungry.

1:18:39 Drew Well, I think it's the part that adds a person to the pictures, you know what I mean? They have their own person there.

1:18:45 Dr. Who Lacey. Yeah.

1:18:47 Drew It just seems like a very, it sounds like a very lonely thing. Not her, but the guys that we're calling.

1:18:52 Dr. Who The guys, now, do you ever fall in love with any of these guys?

1:18:56 Dr. Who No, but they want to send me gifts and things and.

1:19:02 Adam That connection, oof.

1:19:04 Dr. Who That's scary. But it's always, I'm sure it's like, oh, baby, I'm gonna, I'm gonna send you out a diamond tennis. I gotta go, right? They don't want to send you a gift after they bust a nut, do they?

1:19:20 Dr. Who No, I've never gotten, I don't, I don't.

1:19:22 Adam They don't actually send the gift.

1:19:24 Dr. Who Yeah, they're like, I'm gonna send you a gift.

1:19:27 Caller Hold the envelope open.

1:19:31 Dr. Who I think it's kind of rude. They don't even say thank you.

1:19:35 Drew They're embarrassed.

1:19:37 Caller They're, you know why?

1:19:38 Dr. Who Yes, because.

1:19:39 Drew At first they're driven, they have to do it. And then they're like, oh my God, what have I done? Right? When they're feeling.

1:19:46 Dr. Who You ever, now anything weird like, let's see it. Now any, like what percentage of guys perform oral on you in their fantasies?

1:19:57 Dr. Who About 10% probably.

1:20:01 Dr. Who Good and low, smart. And then what percentage get the anal?

1:20:09 Dr. Who Well, if I meant, well, when I mention it, most of them, all of them say they like that.

1:20:15 Adam Is that something you actually like in real life? She does like that in real life.

1:20:22 Dr. Who Bring the anal up to me. I'll give you, I'll give you their only option, which other than agree to it or say they're into it. Go ahead, Lacey.

1:20:31 Dr. Who You want me to bring it up to you?

1:20:33 Dr. Who Yeah, bring, bring it up. But like we're having a phone sex, Gammers says.

1:20:36 Dr. Who All right, would you like to have anal sex with me?

1:20:40 Dr. Who Not really. I find that area of the body dirty.

1:20:44 Dr. Who You're not going to have any of those guys, right? Even if that's what they're thinking, they're like, yeah, baby, oh, no, no, no.

1:20:51 Dr. Who You want to know one of the strange calls I've had?

1:20:54 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:20:56 Dr. Who I had to throw up or make vomiting sounds for seven, for this guy.

1:21:01 Drew For how long?

1:21:04 Dr. Who Seven minutes?

1:21:06 Drew Who's making a recording? His buddy said video cameras on him.

1:21:09 Dr. Who Probably crank anchors. And Anderson must be doing something tonight. Other than this. I'm just waiting for that David Allen.

1:21:20 Drew He's just not listening.

1:21:22 Dr. Who But here's the thing, Liza.

1:21:24 Drew David Aguirre. Vomiting.

1:21:27 Dr. Who I don't worry about it. Yeah. It's cool. Thank you. Now, what did you hear? What did your sound like? Could you do a fake heave?

1:21:38 Dr. Who Do you want me to do that?

1:21:40 Dr. Who Yeah, I do. I got to get my hands down. All right, go ahead.

1:21:46 Dr. Who Okay, ready?

1:21:47 Dr. Who Okay, no?

1:21:50 Dr. Who No.

1:21:53 Dr. Who I could not beat off to that. You're clearly an imposter.

1:22:03 Drew Wait, that wasn't her best effort.

1:22:04 Dr. Who And did you say?

1:22:05 Drew She did it for seven minutes straight. I mean, you got to give a little... We got it just so strong together.

1:22:09 Dr. Who But were you like saying to the guy, like, oh, yeah, that got like pees and all that stuff?

1:22:13 Dr. Who No, this vomit sounds the whole time. And he actually called for five minutes and he wanted to extend it, extend the call for another two minutes.

1:22:20 Dr. Who Oh, so...

1:22:21 Drew How did he bring that up? Forget how you bring up anal sex. How did he bring up the vomit thing?

1:22:32 Dr. Who Now, are these guys, are they always beating off? I mean, some guys pretend... What percentage of guys are pretending not to beat off? Do you know what I mean?

1:22:43 Dr. Who No, they pretty much let me know they're doing it.

1:22:48 Dr. Who That's nice.

1:22:48 Drew One of the things that frightens me for you all that do this stuff, aside from that sort of, what's the word I'm looking for, a global spiritual sense, is that you're going to end up sort of hating men. Because I think women, when they're really exposed to how disgusting men can get, it's just like, ugh, forget it.

1:23:11 Dr. Who Is there any part of you that gets excited at all when these guys have their orgasm?

1:23:15 Dr. Who Yeah, it depends on the call, but yeah, it works on me sometimes.

1:23:20 Dr. Who And are some guys, are you ever attracted to any of the guys?

1:23:24 Dr. Who Yeah, I mean, not attracted to, but some of them sound really, I mean, they're probably, I don't know what they would look like in real life, but no, some of them sound very nice.

1:23:32 Drew So you're having, you're really having phone sex yourself too.

1:23:36 Dr. Who Do any of the guys go like, well, I'm an attorney who lives in the Bay Area, I'm single, I'm 29, I enjoy triathlons and puppies. You know, I mean, if it's, I mean, is it, can a guy sound hot like that? And does it, do they ever try?

1:23:53 Dr. Who I have, I have some, some people try to, if they find, you know, that I live in the area, they're like, oh, you know, come to my office in the morning. They, you know.

1:24:02 Dr. Who No, no, no.

1:24:02 Drew That's not what he means. That, that's, that's the whole, that's freaky.

1:24:05 Dr. Who I don't mean, I don't mean trying to F you in person. I just mean do guys try to sound.

1:24:08 Drew They try to get you aroused too.

1:24:10 Dr. Who Yeah. They tell me that, you know, they're, they're well endowed and they tell me, you know, I'm sure this is a lie, but.

1:24:15 Dr. Who They're not like, I'm calling for my mom's house. I'm in the basement.

1:24:21 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:24:21 Dr. Who I'm like a Murphy bed.

1:24:24 Dr. Who Well, good times. Trying to vomit. Oh, I love, you know, there is all fetish in where guys are in a vomiting. Really?

1:24:33 Drew This fetish for everything for men, everything.

1:24:36 Dr. Who I know. I know.

1:24:38 Drew And that's askew as anything for these poor women. It's bad enough when women come to terms with sort of how men's priorities work. They're so visually and sexually propped up. But when they see when they're exposed to how depraved they can get.

1:24:50 Dr. Who Yeah. Oh, I like that.

1:24:52 Adam I like that. Are they going to go less?

1:24:53 Dr. Who I think part of it, they don't even say bye.

1:24:55 Dr. Who Like, I'm going to love you all my life, baby. I'm going to give it to you, to the cows, slam the phone down. No, thanks.

1:25:07 Dr. Who See you again soon.

1:25:08 Drew Once again, it just points out what men actually do on behalf of women, what they would be like if they didn't have to, you know what I'm saying?

1:25:18 Dr. Who Right?

1:25:19 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:25:19 Drew It's bad.

1:25:24 Dr. Who The phone went off.

1:25:25 Dr. Who All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, Ali sneaks peeks at other chicks, not a Lesba after this. I'm Adam Nads, Dr. Drew. We're right back to the phones, Drew, because this show, it's not about me.

1:26:02 Drew Yeah, it's about phone sex operators vomiting. Yeah.

1:26:06 Adam That's what it's about.

1:26:09 Dr. Who What guys can beat off to?

1:26:11 Drew Yeah.

1:26:11 Dr. Who What can't they beat off to?

1:26:14 Drew That is a very, that's almost a rhetorical question. It's almost philosophical.

1:26:19 Dr. Who Yeah.

1:26:19 Drew I'm not sure that can be answered.

1:26:21 Dr. Who Like the chicks, watch chicks and high heels vomit while they step on rodents.

1:26:26 Drew This is like, you know, how big is the universe? I'm not sure we can get to that.

1:26:30 Dr. Who Well, as I've said, as I've said many times, it takes all kinds.

1:26:34 Drew Boy, it does.

1:26:35 Dr. Who Hallie? Is it Hallie? Good times. What's up there, Hallie? You're 17. Here we go.

1:26:47 Drew Yeah.

1:26:49 Dr. Who Here's a kiss of death, once in a while, I just belched up more garlic.

1:26:52 Drew No, please, God, no.

1:26:53 Dr. Who Once in a while, I try to take a sip off of something after asking somebody, like here's the thing, if I say to somebody, what's your question or how's it going, and don't take the sip, they'll answer. If I say, how's it going, what's up, and then start to take sip, they won't talk.

1:27:06 Drew Yeah, they go, huh?

1:27:07 Dr. Who They know I'm taking a sip, see?

1:27:09 Drew Yeah, see how that works.

1:27:11 Dr. Who You will too.

1:27:11 Drew I've witnessed it.

1:27:12 Dr. Who Go ahead, Hallie.

1:27:16 Is it normal for me to be attracted to girls, but not really? Like, okay, I always look at like, like a lot of my friends always have low cut shirts and I'm always looking at them and I don't, I'm not like a, like I don't get turned on or anything. When I look at them, I just, I'm always looking at them. I don't know if I'm like sizing them or something.

1:27:35 Dr. Who All right, that's what you do. Well, first off, women look at women, like car manufacturers look at other cars at the auto show, like there's a competition. They gotta size things up.

1:27:46 Drew They're sizing things up.

1:27:47 Dr. Who They might talk a little smack, but they gotta go over and kick some tires and look around a little bit.

1:27:52 Drew They may see a car they like. They can appreciate it.

1:27:55 Dr. Who They might see something they appreciate.

1:27:56 Drew They might realize that they got banned in their sweet spot, but they may appreciate it.

1:28:01 Dr. Who And it may let them know that if they're ever on the same drag strip as this car, it may be time to turn off or deduce.

1:28:12 Drew Or gather up their other friends and shut it. Put it out of business.

1:28:15 Dr. Who This is competition. Yeah, women look at other women as competition. And the thing about your competition, if you think about it, you study more than anything. I mean, if you're in the NFL, you watch films of the team you're going to play next. I mean, if you're a boxer, you know what I mean? It's like, how hard would you study this guy who you're going to fight next, you know? And it's sort of, if you look at that, we never really talked about that. There's women, it's interesting that women have an appreciation slash fascination with the feminine form and it would make sense.

1:28:54 Drew Well, there's a sexual component to it because it is sexy and they can see it as such.

1:28:59 Dr. Who But that's part, it's like saying, wow, this guy's tough that I'm going to have to get in the ring with. That's like, this chick is sexy. I'm going to have to put my sex appeal against hers. Whereas guys have no interest in our guys. It's like, yeah, I'm watching it, but we're not going to get in the ring with this guy. We got our own stuff to do. And we never really thought about the fact that, well, we always knew women checked out other women and we always knew women looked at other women, especially at certain ages, like two through 70, as a competition, but maybe part of the attraction is part of that competition, or maybe one feeds the other. That's the origin of one.

1:29:40 Drew Again, because our brains work so differently than a woman's, they'd have to really kind of tell us.

1:29:45 Dr. Who Well, ours work.

1:29:46 Drew That's where ours work differently. And again, we've said earlier tonight, by working. There's a broad spectrum because women, some are under more of an influence of estrogen, some have higher testosterone levels, some progesterone, and then influenced by each differently.

1:30:00 Dr. Who Right.

1:30:00 Drew In a different system.

1:30:01 Dr. Who So it's gotta be nice though for, for a chick. If you think about it, you don't have to be lesbian. You don't have to be bisexual. You can just be a sort of youngest chick who, or even, or not, who's sort of into her sex, you know, whatever, her sexuality a little bit. You go to the locker room at a gym and walk around. Eh, it's not, you know, you could do worse.

1:30:25 Drew It's not bad times.

1:30:26 Dr. Who Yeah. I mean, you don't have to.

1:30:27 Drew They don't have to see the old guy with the scrotum hanging down.

1:30:29 Dr. Who Oh, we got to go to the Y and Burbank and see old man scrotum shooting pool, getting the bridge out. Gotta get the bridge. I swear to Christ, there's a certain thing that happens. Once, well, the first thing is, is once you pass 65 and you're in a gym, you think that it essentially is a nudist camp for you.

1:30:54 Drew Or it's your personal.

1:30:56 Dr. Who It's your personal shower that other people may be working out and are going through. But it really, essentially it's a nudist colony for everyone over 65 and you got no job. So here's the deal. You get done working out, you're flying, you're shower, you step out of the shower, I'm still sweating because the shower was so fast. You're hurrying, you're getting dressed, you gotta get out. It's always somewhere you gotta go. These guys, they're parked out there. They're nude, the whole, they're shooting pool, they're hanging out, they're talking about the one foot up on the bench, the other down on the terra firma there.

1:31:26 Drew Or on the scrotum.

1:31:27 Dr. Who Yeah, they never, the scrotum keeps growing and growing. I hear the scrotum continues growing after death.

1:31:34 Drew No, cause then the gravity is, if you stand the guy up, sure. But the guy's lying down.

1:31:39 Dr. Who I see, all right. I'm just, listen, put a towel on, fellas. Melissa?

1:31:46 Caller Hello?

1:31:47 Dr. Who You're 15?

1:31:48 Drew Still awake, two hours.

1:31:49 Dr. Who Wow, what's happening, baby doll?

1:31:51 Well, I've just been waiting to get on. It's been like, me and my friend have been trying to get on for like, ever since eighth grade. It's been like our dreams.

1:32:00 Dr. Who Yeah, you've been on hold for three years. For two hours and five minutes.

1:32:03 Dr. Who Yeah, that's a long time.

1:32:05 Dr. Who Yeah, sorry, we got about 45 seconds. What's up?

1:32:09 Well, basically I like my friend's brother and he's just a little bit younger than me. Basically I'm in 10th grade and he's in seventh.

1:32:18 Drew Ooh, that's a little bit of a stretch.

1:32:21 Adam Yeah, I'd let it be.

1:32:23 Drew Let it be until you're a senior. You'll be in ninth and you'll be in senior. That'll be good.

1:32:27 Dr. Who They're two years apart, which ain't a ton.

1:32:29 Drew But it's three grades.

1:32:31 Dr. Who Well, okay, but do you have sexual experience or experience with boys? Not really. Not really, okay.

1:32:39 Drew She's just interested in hanging out with them.

1:32:41 Dr. Who And what's up with you? Are you doing okay? You feel good about yourself?

1:32:44 Yeah.

1:32:45 Dr. Who Okay, and you just think this guy's a, why do you like him?

1:32:49 Well, he's really nice, and he's actually really mature for his age.

1:32:53 Drew Mm-hmm.

1:32:54 And I know we get along really well.

1:32:58 Drew Well, sort of no harm in hanging out with him. But I think the boyfriend-girlfriend's coming when you're a baby senior.

1:33:04 Dr. Who You think he likes you?

1:33:05 Well, I know actually for a fact that he likes me.

1:33:08 Dr. Who Oh, I don't see anything wrong with it.

1:33:10 Drew I just hang it out a little bit.

1:33:12 Dr. Who I give it my blessing.

1:33:13 Drew Hang it out a little bit.

1:33:14 Dr. Who You could date him a little bit.

1:33:15 Drew A little bit, a little bit.

1:33:16 Dr. Who A little bit, a little bit, a little bit, a little bit. Take a quick break. We'll be right back. We're going to take a quick 22 hour break and be back with more of the program tomorrow night. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:34:24 Dr. Who I'm going to love you all my baby. I'm going to give it to you to the cows.

1:34:34 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

1:35:26 Caller Get it on.

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Sunday, February 15, 2004