Episode 1000592807179

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. The listener discretion is advised.

1:00 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:59 Adam Good to be here.

2:00 Dr. Ben Donna's a friend of the show, but we've not seen Donna in quite some, it's been some years now, has it not?

2:06 Adam Has it been years?

2:07 Dr. Ben Well, it feels like too long.

2:09 Adam It does feel like it's been, yeah, a while. Last time I was in with Nicky, I think.

2:12 Dr. Ben Here's what I figured out. I figured out when you see ugly people, it feels like you saw them just the other day, and when it's good looking people, it seems like it's been decades, even though it may have just been weeks ago. So yeah, Married to Nicky Six from Montley Crue. You guys still married?

2:27 Adam Yeah.

2:28 Dr. Ben Everything's good there?

2:29 Adam Oh yeah. Lots of kids.

2:32 Dr. Ben Yeah. Really?

2:33 Adam Are there kids?

2:34 Dr. Ben How many kids you got?

2:35 Adam Five.

2:36 Dr. Ben Five? All out of you?

2:38 Adam No, two out of me. But they all live with us all the time.

2:41 Dr. Ben Jesus Christ.

2:42 Drew Wow, five kids.

2:43 Dr. Ben Yeah, that's a lot of feedback.

2:45 Drew I'm expecting my first in a month. That's great.

2:49 Dr. Ben Wow, no, I didn't know about that.

2:50 Drew You haven't seen her? She's big, she's getting there.

2:53 Dr. Ben Wow, I'm always, I don't know what it is about me. It's probably being an a-hole or something. But I always feel like a chimp around kids and pregnant moms and stuff. You know, like chimps are always like sort of curious and they're sniffing, but they're a little bit scared too. And it kind of freaks them out a little bit. Like I'm always weird when, you know, the woman, she's nine months, she pulls the shirt right up. Everyone's touching the belly and stuff. I feel like, I feel kind of like I'm going like, don't don't, get away or don't touch her or leave her alone. And then it's always like, we got video of the, okay, I know that's good. I don't know why it feels, the whole thing feels sort of scary intimate to me. Like it's good that you're having a kid, call me for the Bar Mitzvah, I'll be over here. Exactly. I don't need to, I'll come by, I'll say, kid looks great. I don't want to see any videos or stretch marks. Don't tell me about the C-section or any of the weird stuff.

3:50 Adam It'd be different if you would.

3:51 Drew I'm sure it would be.

3:52 Dr. Ben No, I'll be fine. I think I'll be fine with my kid, but I do get, I do, I think when I was a kid, some, I went to some hippie school and some, somebody pregnant came in and they made all the kids like, put the ear to the chick's belly.

4:06 Drew Interesting.

4:07 Dr. Ben And I was thinking I was like 10 and I think it, I think I got weird. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I got weird. That's what happened.

4:12 Drew Right, you know Donna, that's my biggest fear about this whole thing. You can tell me how bad it was. It's just the way, the staying awake, like the first six weeks where it's just never ending.

4:23 Adam It's everything that you hear.

4:25 Drew Okay.

4:25 Adam Oh really?

4:25 Yeah, and more.

4:29 Adam But you know, you, Well, it's your kid, I'm sure. You can pass them off, you know, take turns.

4:33 Dr. Ben Right, right.

4:34 Dr. Ben And by the way, you know, that whole selling point when everyone goes, but it's your kid, it's your, that doesn't sound like it's great. It's like, if you replaced a kid with meatloaf, it'd be bad. Like, geez, I don't know, it's sticky. It doesn't look very good. Yeah, but it's yours. It's your meatloaf, you're gonna love it. It seems like, I don't know, it's like, it's, you know, they do it, they go, you're gonna be up all night, the kid's gonna be vomiting on you, he's gonna need braces, he's gonna turn gay in a few years. Might try to stab you with a crochet, but it's your kid, it's your kid. You're gonna love that kid, it's yours. That'll be your kid trying to stab you and yelling, I hate you, I hate you, you should die.

5:10 Drew Well, very apropos to this, I get very quick kind of stories from my patients because I deliver babies, and so they come in at their two week and their six week visit, and I hear all kinds of stories, and the ones that patients think that I'm really into, I mean, I'm not, but it's just kind of an interesting thing they love to tell you.

5:26 Dr. Ben The gory stuff?

5:27 Drew All the gory stuff. You hear about all the gory stuff, you hear you're in the supermarket and the kid poops, and you just put him down on the first aisle on top of all the soups, and you've got crap all over your, I mean, you hear all kinds of stuff like that, and you're going, great, this is what I'm gonna be doing.

5:42 Adam See, that's the thing I always have wondered about is what possesses somebody to go into that field.

5:47 Drew It's a curve.

5:49 Dr. Ben A bizarre sexuality. A strange and bizarre sexuality.

5:54 Drew I'll tell you when I was hooked, I was hooked in medical school because I wanted to be a pediatrician, I was hooked in medical school when I saw my first baby being born. Bad experience is one of those, you know.

6:01 Dr. Ben You like playing God, don't you? No. You're playing God.

6:04 Drew Just being part of that amazing process is incredible.

6:07 Dr. Ben I guess it, I mean, talk about, you know, an emotional, I mean, I don't know how often, I mean, if you work at a big hospital, you deliver on a kid every day?

6:16 Drew You know, you have your busy days, you have your slow days, but you know, sometimes you deliver three kids a day.

6:21 Dr. Ben How many are you doing a year on average, would you say?

6:25 Drew It ends up being about 10 a month, sometimes more, sometimes less, but about 10 a month.

6:29 Dr. Ben So I mean, the idea that you get to be there and experience this sort of miracle, you know, firsthand. I mean, it's like be working at the Pirates of the Caribbean or something at Disneyland. I mean, you get to be right in the middle of where, you know, people wait for five years, they fly in from Utah, they spend all their money. You're there, every day. This is the biggest thing that will ever happen.

6:52 Drew Sure, yeah, I see what you're saying.

6:53 Dr. Ben Those aren't Pirates of the Caribbean. But what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is is-

6:56 Drew Is this the analogy on the Pirates of the Caribbean?

6:58 Dr. Ben No, well, I have to explain it here. What I'm saying is, is the biggest moment of anybody's life, really, happens to you 10 times a month. I mean, you're there. It's the Pirates of the Caribbean would be the poor family from Kentucky that saves all their money to go to Disneyland.

7:12 Dr. Ben Right.

7:13 Dr. Ben They did that one time.

7:14 Drew And here, and you can't understand why I do this. I mean, you know, you get to experience that several times a month and you're saying, okay, this is amazing.

7:21 Adam But there's all that gross stuff too.

7:23 Dr. Ben Like the C-section.

7:24 Drew You get over the gross. You know what's gross to me is orthopedics. Like to watch somebody walk around with a broken leg. That's to me, that's like sends chills up my spine. Listen, man, everybody's got their own thing.

7:33 Dr. Ben When they take that chisel out for the knee replacement, they start biting on my teeth. All right, let's give a quick plug to Donna's project. I'm guessing Liberty Last is what we're here to plug.

7:49 Adam Yeah, it's a comic book. The movie is the picture.

7:52 Dr. Ben And it's got, who's in this?

7:55 Adam Hugh Hefner? Mark Hamill? Hugh Hefner's in it also.

7:58 Dr. Ben Kevin Smith, Stan Lee, who's of course a legend, and Bruce Campbell, a legend as well, if you're into all that. Day of the Dead, Donna, no, Day of the Dawn of the Dead. What's all his movies? Oh, Evil, Army of Darkness, and Evil Dead.

8:13 Adam That's it.

8:13 Drew Really?

8:14 Dr. Ben Cult, cult, cult legend.

8:17 Drew No, but I saw a preview for Dawn of the Dead. I think they're making a remake.

8:20 Dr. Ben Oh, they're doing another one?

8:21 Drew Uh-huh, like the modern Dawn of the Dead. He's hilarious in it.

8:24 Dr. Ben I think he's Evil Dead and Army of Darkness, Sam Raimi stuff. That's a big thing.

8:28 Drew Yeah.

8:29 Dr. Ben Yeah, well listen, you were in medical school.

8:30 Drew I guess I missed it.

8:32 Dr. Ben You and Drew.

8:33 Drew Really? Does Drew know more movies? I mean, does Drew know what he's talking about when he talks about movies?

8:37 Dr. Ben Listen, I got that A-hole. I got to tell, you know, I start talking to him like, boy, I feel like Scatman Crothers from The Shining, huh?

8:45 Drew Okay, I would have gotten that one.

8:47 Dr. Ben Nothing. He doesn't, he's never seen The Shining. He never heard anything.

8:51 Drew That I would have gotten.

8:52 Dr. Ben Doesn't know, he doesn't know any music. It's zero. Here's his two, he knows opera. And he knows organs. Those are his two things.

9:02 Drew Like body organs.

9:03 Dr. Ben No, Hammond. That's all he knows. Opera and internal organs, that's the only thing he knows. So, you don't realize, like, you think it sucks driving cross country with someone who doesn't know anything.

9:17 Dr. Ben Like, that's Drew in New York.

9:21 Dr. Ben He's singing opera. No, I mean, like, you know, there's nothing worse than when you're hanging out with someone and you go, that dude looks like the neighbor dude from Three's Company. And the guy's like, huh? You know, remember Larry, swinging guy? I, I, I, I didn't. And then you start digging. It's like, and he starts getting it. You never saw Three's Company? Uh, what's Three's Company? It's like, holy. Oh, no. As an example, I'm just being, okay, here's my point. My point is, is driving cross country Do you guys drive cross country? No, we don't. No, it's more analogy stuff.

9:56 Drew You put your headphones on.

9:58 Dr. Ben Think Pirates of the Caribbean. Here's what I'm saying. Your worst nightmare is to have to drive across country where some guy's never heard anything, doesn't know what you're talking about at all. Imagine doing a nightly radio show with this guy.

10:10 Drew Oh, I see that analogy.

10:11 Dr. Ben Where all you're doing is, you're making references, you're making analysis, you're saying, this guy reminds me of this, remember in that movie. He's looking at you just, eyes rolling like pinwheels. He has no idea what you're talking about. I mean, the idea that you can't make a, like, shining, here's Johnny, like a Jack Nicholson. No, doesn't know what you're talking about. Not gonna see it. Yeah, that's beautiful. Yeah, so that's what I have to do every night. I have to sit next to a newborn.

10:40 Drew Your job is a lot tougher.

10:42 Dr. Ben Yeah, I got like, I just got into it.

10:43 Dr. Ben He's been delivering babies.

10:44 Drew He's been delivering babies.

10:45 Dr. Ben The idiot savant alien is what he is. I have to sit here and explain society and the world to him.

10:54 Drew What do you think?

10:55 Dr. Ben Okay, let's go.

10:57 Yeah.

10:58 Dr. Ben You're 19?

10:59 Yeah.

11:00 Dr. Ben What's up?

11:01 All right, okay, this is the thing. About a year ago, I was six months pregnant and me and my boyfriend, we were like on and off at that time. And I guess he had like, he didn't have sex with another girl, but he spent like a lot of time with her. And like, I don't know, I guess like he did a lot of emotional things that I was lacking and needing at that time, you know?

11:29 Dr. Ben Hold on, hold on, quiet. You say didn't have sex, but did he have contact with her physically?

11:37 Like, I think kissing, hand holding, stuff like that. I thought that's all I was told, you know, like. By him?

11:47 Dr. Ben Yeah. Let me tell you.

11:49 Well, she's younger. I like scared the, yeah.

11:53 Dr. Ben Well, let me explain the told part. It's like when a cop pulls you over and says, have you been drinking night? And you go, well, two beers. Go ahead and put a zero behind that two beers. Two beers, if you drank two beers, you say none. If you drank 12 packs, you say two beers. If you got busted, you say kissing and hand holding. You got to go ahead and at least give a, yeah.

12:13 Well, I can say they're always around other people, you know, so.

12:17 Dr. Ben Okay, well, who is this mystery woman?

12:21 This girl that I used to be like, I'll say like a quaint or whatever. She's two years younger. I've gone out with a couple of mutual guy friends or whatever and she's like one of those like tag alongs, you know?

12:33 Dr. Ben And how do you know they're always around other people?

12:37 Well, they weren't because he didn't have a car. So he always got around through this other couple who drove him around.

12:45 Drew I have a question.

12:46 Dr. Ben Sounds like she makes a great dad, by the way.

12:48 Drew Right.

12:49 Dr. Ben Mazel Tov.

12:50 Drew You said six months ago, this whole thing started, or you were pregnant?

12:54 Adam When she was six months pregnant.

12:55 No, it was a year ago I was six months pregnant.

12:58 Drew So did you have the baby by now?

13:00 Yes.

13:02 Drew And where is he now?

13:03 Oh, hopefully adoption.

13:06 No, he's in his crib.

13:07 Drew No, no, no. We're talking about the guy.

13:10 Oh, the guy. He's in the next room.

13:11 Dr. Ben Mm-hmm. And so how old is he and does he have a car yet?

13:16 Well, right now his license is suspended.

13:18 Dr. Ben Oh, hold on a second. Let me tell you what the kiss of death is right now. Right now.

13:25 Drew Other than a 19 year old with a non-supporting husband or a boyfriend whose license has been suspended, what else could be going on there?

13:32 Dr. Ben If you ask somebody, where are you going to college? And they go, well, right now. Okay, that's not Harvard. And if you go, you're working? Yeah. Where are you working? Well, right now, you're here right now. That ain't. That ain't CEO of Fortune 500. No one ever says, well, right now I'm going to MIT and I'm an attorney. He never. So right now, right now means license.

14:03 Adam So what's the question?

14:05 Drew What? How can we possibly help you, Lupita? What can we tell you?

14:10 It's been about a year now. Right. And like around the same time, because right around New Year's, I started like like freaking out, like having like like I felt like panic attacks, you know, like having nightmares and like questioning him where he was going. And like, I'm just I can't let it go. You know, yeah, like I think about it every day. And I don't know if it's something with me, because every time I think about the baby, I think about being pregnant. I think about that incident and it never leaves me.

14:38 Dr. Ben You know, I listen, listen to me. I got some quick advice. First off, no more goddamn kids, you idiots.

14:44 No, I know.

14:45 Dr. Ben OK, you're using birth control.

14:47 I'm on the I'm on the pitch now.

14:49 Dr. Ben OK, good. Put it over your mouth. Donna, slip me a little note and told me to say that.

14:56 Dr. Ben No, I didn't.

14:58 Dr. Ben Here's the deal. You can. This is why you can't crank out kids at 18, because you're still a mess and you're still a kid. And you let all this stuff affect you. And you do this BS. We go, we never argue in front of the kids. The kids a big sponge. And by the way, I guess you're not living in a seventy five hundred square foot manner. I'm guessing it's more like eight hundred square feet. And the kid hears and absorbs everything. You are a mother now. You have to put this aside. You have to focus on your relationship. Stop pointing your finger and accusing. Stop obsessing. Start obsessing on being a mom. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish I had a goddamn nickel for every idiot who called this show and did that. Oh, no, they know that. Yeah, yeah, you're slamming heroin. You're having fist fights with your husband. But don't worry, your kid. Oh, that's a little Lord Fauntleroy's. No BS. Believe me, you'll screw your kid up when you're having these thoughts and having this friction with your with your husband or God knows whatever he is. And I know it's it's a it's it's it's the the rallying call a very bad mom or they go, no, I take care of my. Yeah, that means that means you're compensating for whatever life you're having. All right. Sorry for being an a-hole.

16:08 Dr. Ben But look, this is it.

16:09 Dr. Ben You have a kid in 19. Now your parent. Now you're going to screw the kid up. Stop it. All right. You got to get some counseling, perhaps whatever it is. You're sitting around obsessing about this guy holding hands or kissing on somebody a year ago is going to destroy your kid. All right. I see 36C up here.

16:27 Drew Your eyes went straight for that.

16:29 Dr. Ben That's right.

16:30 Drew Okay.

16:30 Dr. Ben Ben, you got to move this thing around. Remember that?

16:32 Drew I'll keep up with you.

16:34 Dr. Ben Go ahead.

16:35 Drew I'll stay with you ahead of time.

16:36 Dr. Ben Angel?

16:36 Drew Yes.

16:37 Dr. Ben What's happening?

16:38 Dr. Ben I just was wondering if it was a good idea for me to get breast enlargement.

16:45 Dr. Ben Now, we got to move on. Some people we spend more time with than others. All right, Angel?

16:54 Dr. Ben Yes.

16:55 Dr. Ben Yes. By the way, you're calling from Wisconsin? You've got to be the only angel in Wisconsin.

17:03 Dr. Ben No, there's actually one other one.

17:06 Dr. Ben Really?

17:06 Dr. Ben That I know of.

17:08 Dr. Ben That didn't seem like a Wisconsin name. Connie seems like a Wisconsin name. All right. So, you want to have a boob job and do what?

17:18 Dr. Ben I don't know. I just want a boob job, really.

17:21 Dr. Ben All right.

17:23 Adam And you're what? You're a 36C?

17:24 Drew Yes. She's already... I thought you wanted to get to a 36C. Okay.

17:29 Dr. Ben No, I want to get to a 40D.

17:30 Adam Holy cow.

17:33 Dr. Ben Why do you want to go 40D?

17:36 Dr. Ben I just think it would look better.

17:38 Dr. Ben All right. And here's another thing, though, by the way. I do study these things a little bit. 40D. I mean, you don't... Shouldn't you just want to keep your 36 and go to D? Why do you want to go to 40? You know what I mean? That's all back stuff.

17:56 Dr. Ben I don't know, because I think it would make it look more proportionate.

18:00 Dr. Ben Are you a big gal?

18:01 Dr. Ben No.

18:02 Dr. Ben How tall are you?

18:04 Dr. Ben 5'8.

18:05 Dr. Ben How much do you weigh?

18:06 Dr. Ben 1'35.

18:08 Dr. Ben All right. And what do you want to do? You want to be a stripper or something?

18:12 Dr. Ben I plan on stripping in the future, but not right now.

18:16 Dr. Ben Let me tell you about stripping. I planned on stripping too, but I kept putting it off. And then one day, one of my nuts hung lower than the other, and I knew my career was over. So I'm saying, don't let what happened to you happen to me.

18:30 Dr. Ben Right.

18:31 Dr. Ben You've got to go after that dream of stripping. You can't just keep putting it off and off, you understand?

18:38 Drew Yeah.

18:38 Dr. Ben Yeah. What doesn't sound like what?

18:42 Adam You don't sound like you're small-chested to me.

18:46 Dr. Ben Yeah, you got a nice C cup going for you.

18:49 Dr. Ben Well, when I look in the mirror, it looks small to me.

18:53 Dr. Ben Are you going to junior college?

18:55 Dr. Ben No, I'm not going to college probably right now.

18:59 Dr. Ben But you're planning on junior college? OK. That's the only thing worse than junior college, or people are planning on going to junior college?

19:07 Drew Yes, by the way. That almost was a well right now. That was almost a well right now.

19:11 Adam If it made you feel better about yourself, I'd say go.

19:13 Dr. Ben Oh, Donna says go. But what about being a stripper?

19:18 Adam What about it?

19:19 Dr. Ben Yeah. Well, you're 18. Can't you work as a stripper now if you want?

19:23 Dr. Ben Yes, I can. I'm just in the middle of trying to figure out where I should go instead of going someplace where there's a lot of sleazy people.

19:32 Dr. Ben All right. And where are you working now? Are you working?

19:36 Dr. Ben Yeah. I'm a waitress right now.

19:38 Dr. Ben Waitress. Is that a decent job?

19:40 Dr. Ben Yeah.

19:41 Dr. Ben Are you moved out of your house?

19:43 Dr. Ben Yep.

19:44 Dr. Ben And what are you going to study at junior college?

19:47 Dr. Ben I'm actually going to go to college for cosmetology and child care.

19:53 Dr. Ben Child care. All right. Here's what you need to do. Let me map out your life here, Angel. Don't worry about the boob job.

20:01 Drew Yeah.

20:02 Dr. Ben You got some time for that.

20:03 Drew It says your 26-year-old boyfriend thinks they're fine. Where is this like, it's all coming from you.

20:10 Dr. Ben Yeah.

20:12 Drew Do you have any other body image issue? I mean, has this ever been an issue for you before? Losing weight, obsessed with the, is there any other issues like this that you've ever encountered when other people say you're fine and you're insisting that you don't like something about the way you look?

20:26 Dr. Ben Well, I compulsively exercise because of the fact I think I'm overweight.

20:32 Drew And 5'8, 135, you realize that if you just look at those numbers, you're absolutely fine.

20:38 Dr. Ben Yeah. I got an idea. How about some of that boob job money goes into a little therapy money?

20:44 Dr. Ben Yeah.

20:45 Dr. Ben Yeah.

20:46 Dr. Ben Yeah.

20:47 Drew You can't work out some of these things for yourself.

20:49 Dr. Ben Yeah, why don't you work on that?

20:52 Dr. Ben All right.

20:52 Dr. Ben But listen, let me tell you about junior college. Why don't you just go to beauty school or something? You graduate in like eight months, you get a job at a salon.

21:08 Drew She's with it, Adam.

21:10 Dr. Ben Yeah.

21:11 Drew You saved one of the collars today, Adam. You're already working it today.

21:15 Dr. Ben No, it's like what that's like.

21:17 Drew Problem solved.

21:18 Dr. Ben When someone is giving you directions to a party you're not going to go to and you're on the phone with them and they're like, so can you make it out Sunday? And you're like, I might be able to get out that way and they go, well, do you know where Stu lives? And you're like, oh, no, I don't. I like this one, too. It's like, do you have a pen?

21:37 Adam Uh-huh.

21:38 Dr. Ben You're just holding the remote and you're sitting on the sofa and they're like, okay, got something to write with? And then they go like, okay, so you're going to take the 405, you take 405 southbound, go back.

21:50 Adam Uh-huh.

21:51 Dr. Ben Uh-huh.

21:52 Adam Got it. Got it.

21:54 Dr. Ben Got it. Yeah. That's what that was. That's a party she's never going to go to. Meanwhile, I feel better about myself because I gave her directions to Steve's play. See what I'm saying? Quick call. Then we go to break. What do you say? Let's do it. Dr. Ben is here tonight, by the way, filling in for Dr. Drew and Donna D'Errico is here tonight filling in for whatever guests might be here if Donna D'Errico wasn't here. Nate?

22:21 Dr. Ben Yeah.

22:23 Dr. Ben Yeah, you're 14. What's up, buddy?

22:25 Dr. Ben All right. I'm a triathlete and there's kind of a rumor going around kind of softly that if you jerk off before an event, it leaves room for other fluids to expand inside your body.

22:38 Dr. Ben If you hawk a loogie, you get just as much room.

22:41 Drew Exactly.

22:42 Dr. Ben You blow a snot rocket, you got even an extra room.

22:45 Adam Where do all those stories come from like that?

22:47 Drew Like the alligator in the toilet, like where do people get this stuff?

22:53 Adam Like that rocky thing, women weaken legs.

22:55 Drew Yeah, exactly.

22:56 Dr. Ben Oh, yeah, that's been around for a long time.

22:58 Drew So if you're a triathlete and the whole, the women weaken legs thing, isn't it better, you know, maybe not to jerk off? Yeah, that's a good point. Right? Like why are you going the other way with that?

23:12 Dr. Ben He doesn't care.

23:13 Adam Something about replacing fluids or something.

23:15 Dr. Ben Okay, but listen, hey, Nate, first off, what kind of what kind of 14 year old is into triathlons? That's for old guys. You should be playing hockey or football or something.

23:28 Dr. Ben No, I love it. It's a great sport. It's hard. It's long. It's like it's like the ultimate endurance, you know?

23:34 Dr. Ben Yeah, I know. Why don't you just run around the block until you fall over though? I mean, you know, there's no rushing it anymore. Okay, well, let me let me say this, Nate. Do you guys, here's what I'm saying. When you get out of the ocean or the lake, could you take just a couple of seconds and put some shorts on? I got to see you ride the whole 400 miles in your speedos. You know what I'm saying? Put the shorts on because I see the guys that come flying right out of the water. They're still sporting the speed on the hop right on that bike. Then they get in that crouch position where the elbows go on to that sort of those sort of cup holders on the bars, they get in that tuck, and it's all triathlete ass from that point on. And they're, and by the way, they're naked, they're not wearing any, they're wearing underpants. They're doing like a hundred. Here's a real challenge. You covered 500 miles in your underpants. That's really what the Iron Man is. The guys are sporting the speedos, they're jogging in the speedos now, there just should be a rule where you got to put some crap on. You, you get out of the water, time out. Everyone's got 10 minutes to pull some trunks up, to stuff their junk down, put some sweatpants on and get on the bike. Yes?

24:48 Drew With you, you got my vote.

24:50 Dr. Ben Okay, thank you.

24:51 Adam I don't know, I'm thinking the other way. Maybe they should have like an all nude.

24:55 Dr. Ben They should get down. Okay, then go that way.

24:57 Adam Yeah.

24:58 Dr. Ben The, the speedos distracting, another one thing I don't like.

25:00 Adam The speedos are a little creepy.

25:01 Dr. Ben I don't like the weird, they're wearing so much of nothing that they have to take a marker and write their number on their forehead or their arm and stuff like, just put a goddamn shirt on you idiot. Did you put a shirt on? It's a weird thing if you think about it.

25:16 Drew It's, it's, it's less fluids also that would make you go faster.

25:21 Dr. Ben Here's the deal. No beating off. Put a shirt on.

25:23 Put some shorts.

25:26 Dr. Ben This guy's just underpants for six hours. Yeah. All right. Donna D'Errico's in studio tonight. Dr. Ben filling in for Dr. Drew. I'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

25:40 1-800-LOVE-191.

25:44 Every hour, two Americans under the age of 25 are infected with HIV. Protect yourself. Call toll-free. 1-866-344-KNOW. Hey, everybody.

25:59 Dr. Ben I'm Adam. That's Dr. Ben filling in for Dr. Drew, who's in New York chasing a dropped nickel. Donna D'Errico is in here tonight. You know her from Baywatch and many other endeavors. Also, I think it was you. It was about a couple of weeks ago, and one of the computer nerds over at the Jimmy Kimmel Show in the writer's room said, Donna D'Errico's got some Paris Hilton type sex video that's on the Internet. And I, I knocked, you know, I was like, get out of the way. They're pushing people aside. I even ran out of my way to push somebody and just every time I knock, I was like running. It was like I was in slow motion. I was running to the off and pay people holding papers flying over carts being overturned, diving in slow motion, sliding over the hood of a car landing there. And so he punched it up and he was like it was shot like it was like the Paris Hilton one is like this sort of night vision night vision thing. And I was like, oh, what's going on here? Oh, yes, indeed. He then then then I realized it was like a like a farce parody parody parody was a good one though. Yeah. Tell that to my groin is still in therapy, post-traumatic shock to say I can't get it. It'll never trust again. It says it'll never never trust again. You're as you don't do that to people.

27:36 Drew It's not your fault.

27:37 Dr. Ben It's the a-hole who made the announcement. You see what I'm saying?

27:40 Drew So what's so the parody was that it's you got nothing obviously to do with it. And then it's somebody else or you know, it was me.

27:47 Adam But it was it was done.

27:48 Drew The whole thing.

27:48 Dr. Ben What was it? What was it advertising, by the way?

27:52 Adam It was tied in to to comic book the movie. Because it was released on the DVD right around the same time. And Jess Harnell, who plays Ricky the cameraman, he was the guy in the video.

28:06 Dr. Ben It was.

28:08 Adam It was fun. It was.

28:09 There were a lot of comic book references.

28:13 Dr. Ben I swore to crush whoever was behind this. Yeah. Because, you know, you don't mess around with a man that way. It was very, I apologize. You know, the the other one is Gina Lee Nolan or something was supposed. It was like, here's the other thing about about a long time ago, about three months. Oh, not that long. Oh, maybe you know something.

28:39 Adam No, I remember the old like years ago one about her ex-husband.

28:43 Dr. Ben Well, this was this resurfaced then about three months ago that some other a hole at the office, probably the same guy made the announcement. There's a Gina Lee Knoll and, you know, bootleg porno tape that's coming out in just a few weeks. I was just I'm staring at the calendar like a prisoner, you know, making an accident each day and stuff like that. And then I've started checking in every couple of weeks. What's going on? I don't know. It may it's coming. That never showed up. I'm just saying somebody needs to pay. Do you know what I mean? You don't you don't shout a fire in a crowded movie house. See, someone needs to be punished for this because this is going to keep happening. I know yours was a publicity stunt. It was it was a mockumentary was all done with your tongue firmly planted in your cheek. But the Gina Lee Nolan thing wasn't. That's out there somewhere.

29:33 Adam I've never I haven't even heard about that one.

29:36 Dr. Ben All right. Let's just let's just move forward.

29:38 Adam Yeah.

29:39 Dr. Ben Let's just end the show. I'm not feeling up to it.

29:43 Drew I dug a ditch for eight hours today. And so what anybody needs to go to bed? It's me. What?

29:48 Dr. Ben Why?

29:50 Drew Well, what happened is, is that I the pool lights aren't working. So the electrician says, you know what? The line is totally corroded from the main box to the pool. You got to you got to put in a new line. So I'm going, OK, let's put in a new line goes, well, it's going to cost you a thousand dollars just for me to dig up the dirt to get, you know, the hundred feet or so from the main. And I'm like, I am paying you a thousand dollars. I can do that. It's like you don't realize what you're talking about because there are all these roots, your backyard. You got to dig a foot down. You got to sound like, you know, I can I can I can handle it.

30:22 Dr. Ben Don't you never heard of this invention called the Mexican? I mean, a shovel. I mean, a backhoe. I mean, you you got to the people who do this for a living. You're a rich man. You should be doctoring.

30:37 Drew You know, here's here's what I was thinking.

30:39 Adam Yeah, your hands are you're living.

30:40 Drew Yeah, it took me an hour to get the dirt from under my fingernails before coming in.

30:46 Dr. Ben And and how long a trench did you end up digging?

30:48 Drew It's it's a good hundred feet. But you know what? A hundred feet at you know, when you have a hundred feet, it was a long it was a pretty long trend.

30:55 Dr. Ben I go out there and pace it off be about 28, 30, no, no, no, I'm serious.

31:01 Drew A hundred feet. It took me from eight thirty in the morning till six thirty at night.

31:05 Adam And not just soft dirt either. Adam, it was like roots and trees.

31:08 Drew Roots the size of your arm, Adam, that I had to go through with a pickaxe.

31:12 Dr. Ben And wait a second, you're getting you're digging up the conduit. Is it Richard's conduit?

31:18 Drew Yeah. I mean, he needs to put PVC piping in.

31:21 Dr. Ben Yeah. But did you need to go along the old stuff?

31:24 Drew I went basically a lot. I've dug down, you know, to the old stuff, found it and then dug it all up. It's going to go right over the old stuff.

31:32 Dr. Ben And how deep?

31:33 Drew A good foot.

31:34 Dr. Ben And then what happened when you got next to the pool? Because when you got near the pool, you should have hit some slab or some stone or something.

31:41 Drew No, because the GFI outlet and the old, wherever he has to go to, is actually on the side right next to the concrete. So I was able to pull. It's all dirt. Where I went was all dirt.

31:54 Adam So you called him and told him you did it.

31:57 Drew So tomorrow morning at eight o'clock, he's out there just to put in the line. He's going to charge me a couple hundred bucks.

32:01 Dr. Ben Really? Yeah.

32:02 Drew See? It was worth it. And I got some good exercise and I got to be outside. How often can you say that?

32:07 Dr. Ben I like that you have a big selling point for a lot of people. You get to be outside. Being outside is no big deal. Go to the car. I'll be outside for 10 seconds until I get in the car. Then you close the door. You roll the window.

32:19 Drew It was a beautiful day. I couldn't have enjoyed it more. My back hurts, but that's about it.

32:22 Dr. Ben Did you pull a permit for that work? Hey. Let me. All right. I'm telling you, I had like a surreal experience happen to me today. Speaking of building, I was at the Home Depot in Hollywood, which by the way, is just some kind of Calcutta bazaar now. You can't go in there anymore. It's insane. It's just a bunch of crazy people. You don't know what, you could be in any country, in any city, in any place on the planet. It's just total chaos. You can barely get through there anymore. And I bought a router and I was leaving and a guy stopped me like, you see, here's my prom. From doing the man show, people F around with me, like people come up to me and go, hey, I'm going to need your permit for the... You know, and I was like, hey, Jack, get out of here. And sometimes it's really a guy who does need to see something or does... I never know if the guy is screwing around or not. And this guy... Okay. I've been doing building for 20 years. I've never seen this guy's dressing all in black. He's got his hair slick back, he's wearing black boots, and he flashes his tin to me. City Inspector. It's in a badge. And it's in one of those wallets that's cut out where the leather is cut out, where the shield is inside, you know, just like a detective, you know, and he flashes his tin and he's like, yeah, City Inspector, where are you going with those tools? You got a permit? Come on. Get out of here, buddy. I'll say, what do you want? You want to sign an autograph? I'm going to send a juggy over to the house. I was like, seriously, where are you going? And I'm like, are you kidding me? What are you doing?

33:56 Drew That doesn't work that way, does it? It doesn't.

33:57 Dr. Ben That's what I said. I said, what are you doing? He shows me his badge, like city permit, whatever. I'm like, you got that off a comic bookie. No, come on. That's a dead serious. I said, what do you want? I don't understand it. Where are you going with those tools? You must have a decent sized project going. You got a permit? I said, that's what I said. I kept saying, no, no, but then I realized he's just standing there.

34:23 Drew He's a crazy guy.

34:25 Dr. Ben He's a crazy guy with an official inspector. He's very stressed like a senior inspector. He's like swabbed, his hair is slicked back, he's all in black. And he showed me his shield. And he goes, do you have a permit? And I said, well, yeah, I do have a permit. He goes, what's the permit number? And I said, I started laughing at him because I know it's about 15 digits and I said, get out of here. I don't know what the permit number is, how many digits in it? I said, I don't know how many, but he goes, where'd you get it? And I said, Van Nuys office. And he goes, where's the Van Nuys office?

35:02 Dr. Ben I swear to God.

35:03 Dr. Ben But okay, but think about it. And I was talking to my friends about it and they're saying the same thing, which get out of here. But you think about this, inspectors drive around and bust people. I mean, their job and the people who aren't in the business or haven't done a lot of these projects don't think much about it. But I've done a hundred of them and I've dealt with these a holes in the city and everything like this. Their livelihood is they realize that there's tons of building going on each year that they don't get up. That the city doesn't get their stinky hand and they don't get any money for it's possibly dangerous where their job is that they're like border patrol guys. They can't stop everything, but they're on patrol.

35:42 Drew I heard they cruise around looking for dumpsters and that's how they know if they've got major stuff going on.

35:47 Dr. Ben If they if there's a cement truck going up the hill, they'll follow the cement truck and when they get to the top of the hill, they'll walk up and go, where's this going and what are you doing with it? And then I got to listen. I've had I've had inspectors walk on to every job. I never pulled a permit for they walk on at some point in the job. Want to know what's going on? That's how it works. Oh, absolutely. So how did it end?

36:12 Drew He was not legit, though. I have no time.

36:15 Dr. Ben But think of it this way.

36:15 Dressed like that.

36:17 Dr. Ben But look at it this way. You are city inspector. You want to know what's going on instead of driving in circles, following around, I understand upstairs. You go to the Home Depot in Hollywood. You go there two in the afternoon on a Thursday. Every time you see some guy pushing a big cart full of stucco, K-laugh and two by fours, it's the middle of the day. It ain't the weekend. He's not some weekend warrior. This ain't Dr. Baby over here digging his own ditch trying to save a nickel. This is a guy who's doing it for a living and you know the guy doesn't have a permit. So you stop him right there. You get it?

36:51 Adam But even if you have a permit, you don't have it on your person while you're in Home Depot. What's he going to do? Follow you home?

36:57 Dr. Ben He does what any good cop does. What a guy tried to do to me, bust you down a little bit. You got the permit. What's the permit number? He tries to get you on the ropes. Where'd you go to get the permit? If you don't go anywhere to get the permit, you're not going to say Van Nuys. You're going to go like, oh, I can't remember. And now you're busted. You see what I'm saying?

37:14 Drew So you played along with him a little bit and then he let you off?

37:16 Dr. Ben Well, he didn't know he was dealing with. I pulled a thousand permits.

37:19 Drew Right.

37:20 Dr. Ben So, you know. Yeah. All right.

37:22 Drew You know, the funnest part of the.

37:23 Dr. Ben I say to Shadu, a senior inspector.

37:25 Drew Good. Okay. You got rid of him. The best part of the Home Depot is now, because I haven't gone to Home Depot too now, is when you get to automatically check out your own stuff. That's where you see the funniest things going on. Like, people like not knowing, can't follow the direction. It ends up making the whole process.

37:40 Dr. Ben Were you watching me today?

37:41 Drew What happened?

37:42 Dr. Ben Here's me. Pushed a card up to the thing. Big card full of tools. Lumber, building materials, or paint, or none of the above. Hit the none of the above and then said, punch in first three letters of, and I just stared at it for like, like a big time. I pulled my card. I backed out. Did the walk of shame. I went right and got in line.

38:01 Drew I've seen that walk of shame a hundred times.

38:04 Dr. Ben That's right. That's right. This is luck. If the people shop at the Home Depot in Hollywood, if it said, punch in your two initials, their head would explode like scanners. Those idiots can't do anything over there. It's like, it's retard meets don't speak the language. Are you kidding? They just stared. The guy was ordering a Big Mac in front of me. It's like they're trying to talk into the thing. I couldn't figure the thing out. I got right out of there. It was humiliating. All right. We took no calls. We talked about Home Depot.

38:33 Drew Is it break time?

38:34 Dr. Ben It's break time.

38:35 Drew I can't believe we can't talk to Elizabeth.

38:37 Dr. Ben No.

38:37 Drew We'll talk to her maybe later.

38:39 Dr. Ben No. Yeah, we got to take a break. I got more to talk about. We got to take a break. Donna D'Errico is here. Dr. Ben is here. He started off by talking about his stupid pickaxe experience. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

38:54 Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Right back.

39:12 Dr. Ben Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Ben. I think I've taken like three and a half calls since Drew went to New York. No, not tonight. I'm taking the last one.

39:22 Dr. Ben Oh, totally, really?

39:24 Drew Yikes.

39:24 Dr. Ben Yeah, and you know, all the program director ever tells me is take more calls.

39:29 Drew Oh my God.

39:30 Dr. Ben It's been nine years of him telling me take calls and me not taking any calls. Okay.

39:35 Drew That's why he gets the big bucks? Yeah, to tell you that.

39:41 Dr. Ben Yeah, I am always mildly insulted, too. The only guy in America who has a syndicated talk show where the number one complaint from the program director is always stop talking, stop talking.

39:55 Drew There's something weird about that.

39:56 Dr. Ben Yeah, I'm not, like I said, not flatter. Donna's here plugging a little project called Comic Book the Movie, which is out on DVD. Yes, it's out. It's got Kevin Smith in it and Hugh Hefner, Stan Lee, of course, the godfather of all the comics, and Matt Groening from Simpsons fame, by the way, and Bruce Campbell, who's a- And Mark Hamill, yeah. Some names in there. All right, let's take some calls. What about that? Elizabeth, Dr. Ben, Phil and Dr. Drew, and you're 19, Elizabeth. What's up?

40:31 Drew What's up?

40:32 Um, I just got out of a relationship with this guy.

40:37 And the main reason that we broke up was because I found out I had herpes.

40:45 Dr. Ben Did he break up with you?

40:46 Yeah.

40:49 Because he said I should have told him. And I was like, I didn't know. Because it like showed up like two days after New Year's. And him and I had been sexually active for about a month. And the last person I'd been with was summer.

41:09 Drew So this was, huh? Elizabeth, just a quick question. I just wondered, this was your very first outbreak, right? You've never had anything like that before. Yeah.

41:18 Caller It was my first outbreak.

41:19 Drew How sick, how sick were you? Just give me a little, just tell us what you were going through right after your ears. What did it feel like?

41:28 Caller I remember I cried so much because I couldn't, like, I couldn't walk. I couldn't stand, I couldn't sit. It was the most painful feeling I've had. I couldn't sleep. And I just remember crying so much. It hurt horribly.

41:45 Dr. Ben Hold on. What's this have to do with Home Depot?

41:48 Drew Nothing. Seriously.

41:49 Dr. Ben Home Depot, Harvey's, they both start with the letter H.

41:52 Dr. Ben Very good. You're officially the smartest caller we've had in six months, Elizabeth. Just a little piece of alliteration there.

42:02 Drew Just so you know, Adam, that what she's describing, that's a primary outbreak. I mean, people who have herpes like all their lives, when they get an outbreak after that first episode that they'll never forget, it's just like whatever. For some patients, it's like a couple of days and then they're gone.

42:16 Adam Or how long the incubation period.

42:18 Dr. Ben It varies, right?

42:19 Drew Right. But I can tell you that for most people, it's 10 to 14 days. Now, there is just for Elizabeth-

42:25 Adam So he gave it to her.

42:26 Drew Overwhelmingly.

42:28 Dr. Ben Well, so it's an interesting, okay, so let's talk about a few things. One is, you know somebody wasn't living with herpes and not saying anything if they had a primary outbreak at that point. I mean, if they had the fever and the pain and the aches and the whole thing that goes along with the primary outbreak, you can't make the argument that, oh, you had this for two years, you didn't say anything.

42:50 Drew That's a very difficult argument to make. Although the more we know about herpes, the more we know that that's at least for some people, a very rare possibility. But overwhelmingly, what you just said is right. When somebody gets their primary outbreak, they got it, they kind of just freshly picked up from somebody within two weeks.

43:05 Dr. Ben Right. And then subsequent outbreaks are just the blisters and that kind of stuff. It's not all the fever and everything. And so the fact, and then what percentage of people if you have, if you know, get it between 10 and 14 days?

43:22 Drew I would say overwhelming, the vast majority, if they're gonna come down with symptoms, get it within the first 10 to 14 days.

43:28 Dr. Ben So, I mean, you can, you can be relatively certain that if your partner breaks out with the primary herpes, that something happened a couple of weeks ago or sooner.

43:40 Adam Well, could he have had it and not know?

43:42 Drew Now that interestingly enough can happen again, but we're talking about the vast majority of patients. So, Elizabeth, if you talk to your boyfriend, if you talk to the ex-boyfriend, excuse me, if you talk to him, you know, I don't know how far this went, but there's, and first of all, unless you were with somebody else 10 to 14 days before you came down with symptoms, you overwhelmingly did get it from him. And that means that he overwhelmingly also had a primary outbreak at some point, which he may not have told you about, although.

44:14 Dr. Ben How would you avoid it if you saw him?

44:16 Drew Right, because he can, you know, people have what's called asymptomatic shedding. You could have been with him, didn't see any lesions, he didn't have any pain, he didn't have, and he could still, we think at least one to 2% of patients who have had herpes at any point in their lives could shed at any time. So he could have potentially given it to you, even though he was, you know, obviously not symptomatic at the time that you guys were together.

44:37 Dr. Ben But anyway, Elizabeth.

44:38 Caller Yes.

44:38 Dr. Ben You guys are broken up.

44:43 Caller It's not like, no, it's not about getting back with him because for somebody to break up with me.

44:48 Dr. Ben All right, good. I don't want to go through that hole. It's got nothing to do with building. Look.

44:57 Drew But it does start with an H.

44:58 Dr. Ben Yeah, just fine. He, you're broken up, good. He did you a favor. He showed his true colors. It's not about getting back together with him. Fine. You're hurt, you're angry. You should be. Move on.

45:10 Drew Okay, I'll just mention two things medically. One, we now have great medications to decrease recurrences.

45:16 Dr. Ben Women kickboxing, beat the crap out of people.

45:18 Drew Exactly.

45:19 Dr. Ben All women kickboxing.

45:20 Dr. Ben That's liberating.

45:21 Drew And two, once you get one sexually transmitted disease, you should probably be screened for others. So I don't know where Elizabeth went with all this, but she should probably be screened for chlamydia and she should possibly consider HIV screening and hepatitis screening as well.

45:33 Dr. Ben How about folks who take medication, who just like to sit home and watch a little TiVo? Does everyone got to be windsurfing and kickboxing?

45:41 Dr. Ben Really?

45:41 Dr. Ben All these sick people out?

45:43 Drew How about riding motorcycles? I've seen that one.

45:44 Dr. Ben Yeah, just relax. Or take your goddamn medication, you sit home. I don't want you out getting all juiced up on your medication, beating the crap out of someone and getting on a motorcycle.

45:54 Drew Yeah.

45:54 Adam Doing a triathlon.

45:55 Dr. Ben Drew, that's right. If you're going to do the triathlon, put some sweatpants on, right?

46:00 Adam Thank you, yeah.

46:01 Dr. Ben Drew? Caller Drew?

46:02 Drew Caller Drew.

46:03 Dr. Ben Oh, yeah, I have a question because I built a pneumatic spud gun. I built it with a...

46:12 Dr. Ben You want to shoot potatoes?

46:15 Dr. Ben Yeah.

46:16 Dr. Ben Yeah, okay.

46:17 Dr. Ben I used an electronic solenoid valve.

46:20 So it's like a sprinkler system.

46:22 Dr. Ben Yeah.

46:23 Dr. Ben I don't think it's working right. No. I don't know if you could help me.

46:26 Dr. Ben Well, here's the thing. We've got to take a break. Anything can go wrong.

46:30 Dr. Ben You just got to relax.

46:32 Dr. Ben All right, pneumatic is air powered, by the way.

46:35 Dr. Ben Thank you.

46:36 Dr. Ben I just want to tell our listeners that. I know you're a dumb guy. Donna, you're a model, so you know. But a lot of people don't know what pneumatic. Anyway, we're going to take a quick break. Donna D'Errico's here. We'll get back to the Spud Guns, Potato Launcher. After this.

46:50 Drew Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me.

46:52 Dr. Ben So what's up? Why can't I meet anybody?

47:05 Caller 877-889-DATE.

47:19 Dr. Ben I'm Adam, that's Dr. Ben. Dr. Ben is filling in for Dr. Drew. Dr. Ben is a OGBYN?

47:27 Dr. Ben Something like that.

47:28 Drew O-B-G-Y-N, yeah, gynecologist.

47:30 Dr. Ben Yeah, both of them delivers a lot of babies.

47:32 Drew Delivers a lot of babies.

47:35 Dr. Ben Yeah, where is Dr. Drew?

47:36 Drew Help me.

47:37 Dr. Ben Donna D'Errico is our guest tonight, beautiful former star of Baywatch. Now got a little project out on a DVD called Comic Book the Movie. Got her and Mark Hamill and Stan Lee, Hugh Hefner, Kevin Smith, amongst others. What are most people who give birth these days? A C-section, natural, whatever, vaginal?

48:00 Drew National statistics are that 25, a little more than 25% of deliveries in this country are now by C-section.

48:06 Dr. Ben Mm-hmm. Yeah. Did that come back around?

48:09 Drew Yes.

48:10 Dr. Ben So for a while, I mean, obviously, start off vaginals, then start getting a C-section, then they really start getting in the C-section just because of insurance purposes, right?

48:20 Drew There were probably lots of reasons, but.

48:22 Dr. Ben And then a little backlash, and now they're coming back the other way.

48:26 Drew Big time, big time, yeah.

48:29 Dr. Ben Do any episiotomies?

48:31 Drew I don't, but that is a procedure. Everybody's got their own philosophy on episiotomies.

48:35 Dr. Ben You don't like that one? Not your, huh? Well, what do you got to do? What do you do?

48:40 Adam Back in the day, that was the standard.

48:41 Drew Yeah, yeah, usually, but you know, back in the day, Donna, like, if you talk to your mom or stuff, I mean.

48:48 Dr. Ben Don't talk to your mom, that's correct.

48:50 Drew But basically, about 30, no, 40 years ago, there was a time where everybody got an episiotomy and at least 50% of babies were delivered by forceps because moms were getting that twilight sleep. They couldn't push, they couldn't do it. I mean, that was just the standard.

49:04 Dr. Ben So the episiotomies where they make the little cut down there and they open things up, they give you a little more room, right? And then they would go in with forceps, like, to barbecue tongs, I mean, back in the day.

49:14 Drew Yeah, back in the day. And it wasn't that, around the time that might, yeah. You might have been born that way, maybe a little before your time, but yeah.

49:20 Dr. Ben Pretty sure, and I think my dad is what they call an ether baby, you know, I think he fed his mom too much ether, because he's kind of slow, you know, he's a little dim-witted, he's not a real sharp guy, you know, I think he got some, you know, I think they fed mama too much ether, and it kind of slowed him down. His tests, he didn't test real well in high school and stuff, you know what I mean?

49:40 Drew Now he's like pulling out badges at Home Depot's, is that what, what's his gig now?

49:46 Dr. Ben I don't think he, I don't think he's cut out of the right cloth to work at Home Depot, they're looking for a special breed of retard, my dad's a little different breed of tart. Yeah, I think he cut some mustard over there. Yeah, they're looking for a few good tarts over there.

50:02 Drew Now, wait a minute, we stopped, the spud gun, we just wanna get to the bottom of that.

50:06 Dr. Ben Drew, caller Drew, who's 15. Yeah. You're building a spud gun, this is one of those things that launches, uses a compressed air to launch potatoes.

50:17 Dr. Ben Yep.

50:18 Dr. Ben Hundreds of feet perhaps, yes?

50:20 Dr. Ben Yeah, like 300 yards.

50:22 Dr. Ben 300 yards?

50:23 Dr. Ben Yeah, my friend shot a golf ball 300 yards.

50:25 Dr. Ben Out of the spud gun? Right, so a spud gun shoots more than a spud.

50:30 Drew Okay, I'm already beginning to understand, I thought I was totally out of the loop.

50:33 Dr. Ben I don't know anything about this other than you should probably be using a PVC or ABS. What's that, schedule 40? Yeah. That's the thickness of the wall of the PVC.

50:46 Drew I could have used, where were you today when I was digging up my ditch?

50:49 Dr. Ben I was watching TiVo like a human being, not like an animal, boy like in the sun, enjoying being indoors, announcing it. It's nice to be indoors.

50:58 Drew Yeah.

50:58 Dr. Ben All right, so this is schedule 40 PVC. You, and you're using compressed air and now you need a solenoid. You need something that's gonna let this tank of compressed air immediately fire into this chamber, not slowly trickle into it, which is what's happening with your sprinkler solenoid, right? All right, there is a, I've never built one of these, but I do understand the concept behind them.

51:26 Drew You're a genius. You're like the car guys, like-

51:29 Dr. Ben Click and clack?

51:30 Drew Yeah, you're like that, but in construction.

51:31 Dr. Ben We don't talk about other radio programs on this show. Yeah, I am, but this isn't really, I do love that show though. This isn't really construction, but hey, listen, Drew, here's what I think you need to do. Cause I have seen, they do have these valves and you could probably find them on the internet and the guys who use them are guys who do special effects. Like all that stuff, like all those explosions, like you know when you're doing a TV show and they walk up on a cake and it explodes and they walk, you know, whenever stuff like sort of exploding, especially in a TV studio or something like that, it's always compressed air. Okay. And so they would have a tank, cause we used to do this on the mansion, they would have like a tank, just a hopper tank, size of a five gallon thing, but of course it's in force. They'd fill it with a couple of 150 pounds of air pressure, put a valve on it, put a hose up, put it underneath this cake or this whipped cream or whatever. And when the guy hits the button, the valve goes and poof, the stuff goes flying everywhere. And it seems like it exploded. And if you put an explosion sound effect there, it's gonna look like someone put an M-80 inside of this cake, but obviously it's not as dangerous. So I would get on the internet and start looking for special effect houses and places that supplied those kinds of things and get that valve. Right. All right, that's my take.

52:45 Adam Yeah, I would too.

52:46 Dr. Ben Donna, am I right? Yeah, you're a lamb hunter.

52:49 Adam I was gonna say everything you just said, yeah.

52:51 Dr. Ben You built a thousand spot guns in your day, have you not?

52:54 Adam Oh yeah, close to that, sure.

52:57 Dr. Ben Who are we talking to, up here, David?

52:59 Drew Yeah, I thought that would be good.

53:01 Dr. Ben Really?

53:01 Drew Yeah, let's talk to David.

53:02 Dr. Ben That's a kiss of death.

53:04 Drew David, you're on.

53:05 Dr. Ben David, you're 26.

53:06 Drew Don't disappoint.

53:07 Dr. Ben Good, what's happening?

53:08 Dr. Ben My question is, I've been taken Propecia prize for three years, and I had no problems.

53:14 Dr. Ben David, David, David, David.

53:16 Dr. Ben Yeah.

53:17 Dr. Ben I need you to move at least 3 16ths of an inch away from the phone.

53:24 Dr. Ben I did it, did it.

53:25 Dr. Ben Okay, go ahead.

53:26 Dr. Ben Is that better, Adam?

53:27 Dr. Ben That's much better, go ahead.

53:29 Dr. Ben All right, well I've been taking Propecia now for about three years. I just recently switched to Finasteride, which is ProScar, and it's a five milligram tablet that I've been splitting up into four pieces. So now I'm getting a quarter of a milligram more per tablet. Since this change, it has totally like leveled my libido. I suffer from myorectal dysfunction. I just wanted to ask the doctor how long, if I discontinue this medication, will it take to restore my sex drive?

54:01 Dr. Ben Now this is because of hair loss.

54:04 Dr. Ben Yes.

54:06 Dr. Ben Okay, what do you think of these Propecias?

54:08 Drew Well, you know, the thinking on male pattern broadness, baldness, thank you, is that there's definitely a testosterone component to it. And so a lot of people, a lot of drug manufacturers that make anti-balding medications are trying to get either the testosterone receptor blocked or for decreases. There's definitely some reasons why David can have this, you know, libido issue because testosterone is also associated with libido. So yeah, you get some more hair, but your libido gets knocked off.

54:40 Dr. Ben The friend of the boner, but the enemy of the scalp, this testosterone.

54:45 Drew So the tablets are actually doing the exact opposite. They help the hair, but they kill the libido. So you kind of pick your poison there. You want to look great for the ladies, but then, you know.

54:55 Dr. Ben You're gonna be able to get a boner, yeah.

54:58 Drew So yeah, I would say, I don't know that there's a good scientific answer because this is not my specialty and I don't prescribe Propecia or Finasteride, but.

55:08 Dr. Ben What is Finasteride?

55:09 Drew Is it a new one? Yeah. Yeah. It's supposed to be better? Also, you know what? They're all in general, same class. That's all kind of what they do. And from what I know about, let's say, if we can make the same argument for birth control pills and what they do to inherent testicular function or to inherent ovarian function, it would be about three months. So I would say three months. And then the other thing you can do.

55:33 Dr. Ben Three months if you got off of it?

55:34 Drew Exactly. Exactly. So once you get off of it, within three months. And then the other thing, David, you could consider doing if you want to just kind of get this whole process over with. Think about testosterone injections.

55:44 Dr. Ben Really?

55:44 Drew Yeah. You'll get it back much faster. Okay.

55:47 Dr. Ben So you're saying if a woman is on a birth control pill and she stops taking the pill, it's about three months for her.

55:54 Drew And before she returns to normal ovarian function.

55:56 Dr. Ben And if we were trying to do like chemical castration to me, for instance.

56:01 Drew It depends with what, but.

56:02 Dr. Ben Well, I always thought it was with acid. I always thought it comes to your second acid because it sounded like chemical castration. Sounded like a James Bond type of debate.

56:09 Drew It would probably be with Depo for ovarian.

56:11 Dr. Ben I was disappointed when I found out it was basically birth control pill for dudes.

56:14 Drew Yeah.

56:14 Dr. Ben Doesn't sound nearly as exciting as chemical castration does.

56:17 Drew But that's also that by the way because it's injected.

56:19 Dr. Ben If I started that. Oh, that's injected. Okay.

56:21 Drew So it stays in the muscle longer.

56:23 Dr. Ben If that's injected because we don't trust the pedophile to take his goddamn pills. Right. So, but if I decided because I'm thinking about voluntarily chemically castrating myself.

56:34 Drew If you were into that sort of thing, you would start taking your wife's birth control pills.

56:38 Dr. Ben You know what it is? I'm walking around. I'm angry at the guy at Home Depot. I'm angry. I call him angry at everybody. I want to start hugging and stop getting boners.

56:47 Drew And growing breasts.

56:48 Dr. Ben And growing and growing breasts.

56:50 Drew And birth control pills are exactly what you should be doing.

56:53 Dr. Ben I want to get on the bill. Plus, I want those little sugar pills. I've been looking for an excuse to eat those for like 25 years. I want to know what they're like. I want to reason eat it. So I'm thinking about getting on the birth control.

57:07 Drew Yeah, okay.

57:08 Dr. Ben Also, I would like a reason to be moody in an a-hole. And I think the birth control pills would be that reason. You know? You women, you don't realize how good you have it with this few days out of the month where you get to be all bitchy and crabby and bloaty and just sort of announce to the world, you know, listen, don't listen to anything I say and apologize in advance, but I'm pissed. I'm on my period. You know, I got to, you know, you start crying and stuff. As a guy, it would be nice a couple days out of the month just to pitch a fit.

57:38 Adam You got it. You do.

57:39 Dr. Ben We do? We do. That makes us assholes. You see what I'm saying? We don't have an excuse. Instead of digging a ditch, you could have ate a pint of Haagen-Dazs and cried all day and it would have been fine.

57:52 Drew It would have been better on my back. I can tell you that much.

57:55 Dr. Ben You could have just sat on the sofa, watched your stories, cried, had a blanket draped around your shoulders, just ate Haagen-Dazs right out of the container and your wife would have come in and said, I'm on my period. She would have just turned around and walked out. It would have been nice too. We leave you alone. We know to leave you alone.

58:14 What would happen to you?

58:15 Adam By the way. Well, if you think about what's going on when we're being pranked like that, if that was happening to you.

58:20 Dr. Ben I wish it was. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm trying to induce.

58:24 Drew I don't think you wish it would. You'd have to go through it once and then you wouldn't wish it.

58:28 Dr. Ben Well, so be it. Then give me the pills. I just want to know. Here's what I'm saying.

58:31 Adam But with that Depo-Provera, I used to take that. I had that injection. I had no period.

58:37 Dr. Ben Right.

58:38 Adam Nothing for years.

58:39 Drew How about mood?

58:40 Adam Nothing.

58:41 Dr. Ben No mood problems?

58:42 Drew It was great. So you liked it?

58:44 Adam I did.

58:44 Dr. Ben So big it's not in the water supply.

58:46 Drew What's that?

58:47 Dr. Ben Put that depo in the water supply.

58:48 Drew In the water supply. I see. OK.

58:54 Dr. Ben No moody. Yes.

58:55 Dr. Ben What would happen to you if you did have a period? Like what next stage would you maintain?

59:00 Dr. Ben Well, I can tell you this. I've always had trouble.

59:03 Dr. Ben Who's talking?

59:04 Dr. Ben That's an engineer Anderson. I've always had trouble with personal hygiene. It's always been a fairly tall. You're looking at me now, right? I'm wearing pajamas. I haven't shaved. Yeah. I look like a homeless person, right?

59:17 Drew Yeah, because you were on the couch eating Haagen Dazs earlier. Crying.

59:20 Dr. Ben Watching my stories. No, here Anderson, that's a very valid point you brought. What would happen to me? First off, I would immediately run out of tampons and napkins and all that other kind of stuff because I'm always out of toilet paper. When I was a bachelor, I was always out of stuff, deodorant, toothpaste. I would always run out of stuff. I would be walking around with a bar rag stuffed at me. That'd be number one, newspaper, just anything. I'd be improvising. Nice. Look, it'd be a disaster.

59:50 Drew Donna's impressed.

59:52 Dr. Ben I'm not going to lie to you. It would be one of these things where I'd be out on the road. It'd be like, oh, I got a tampon in my wallet. No way.

1:00:00 Drew You wouldn't be that person.

1:00:02 Dr. Ben No, I'd have to shove a cat up there or something. Do something. I would never have stuff. That's number one. It would get bad. It would be a mess. I wouldn't have the period panties either. They'd all be ruined. I can tell you that right now. I wouldn't have my period panties like you girls. All my nicest panties destroyed. They'd all look like a Rorschach desk.

1:00:23 Drew Is that the answer to that mystery?

1:00:26 Dr. Ben I was thinking more along the lines of mood.

1:00:29 Dr. Ben I'd be a mess.

1:00:30 I think you might come full circle because you're such a dick all the time.

1:00:33 Maybe come full circle.

1:00:34 Dr. Ben I'd be crying.

1:00:35 Drew Where is this man?

1:00:36 Dr. Ben Anderson? Well, for now, he's at Westwood 1, but this time tomorrow he's going to be out on the street. He's fired. Yeah, I would be in a horrible mood at least a few days out of the month and I'd have a hygiene problem. And I would force my men to go down on me during that time because I would say, prove you love me. That would be another thing I would do. Amy? Yes. You're 23? What's happening? Well... You haven't had your period in 11 months? No, we were just talking about me and my period.

1:01:16 Drew That's why we're taking Amy's call.

1:01:18 Dr. Ben You man, are you good.

1:01:19 Drew I read ahead. Okay, so go ahead Amy. What's up? 11 months without a period because you got a hormone shot?

1:01:25 Dr. Ben I did. I went to the clinic and they gave me a shot and I'm supposed to have my period in two weeks.

1:01:30 Drew Okay, so you probably got just a short acting progesterone shot. You don't remember the name of what you got, right?

1:01:37 Dr. Ben No, I don't.

1:01:38 Drew Okay, so did anybody before giving you this shot talk to you about why you may not have periods? They did a pregnancy test. I mean, I'm sure there are certain things that they did.

1:01:49 Dr. Ben We did a pregnancy test and stuff and they told me that if I didn't start that I should get on the pill. But I don't really want to and I want to know if, like, is this like a serious thing in my…

1:02:00 Drew It can be, Amy. It all depends on what the, you know, hence the question about why this started in the first place. For example, there are some thyroid disorders can cause this. There are prolactinomas it can cause. There are certain things other than pregnancy that would lead you not to have periods. Is this the first time you've gone this long without a period? You were? How much do you weigh?

1:02:22 Dr. Ben 120.

1:02:23 Drew And how tall are you? Is there anything going on lately as far as exercise, changes in your diet? Was there something going on lately for you, Amy? Or in the last year?

1:02:33 Dr. Ben No, well, over the summer I went to Alaska and I was a deckhand on a halibut charter boat. And that was like a lot of physical...

1:02:41 Drew Did you lose a lot of weight during that time, Amy?

1:02:44 Dr. Ben No, if anything I gained weight, I gained muscle.

1:02:49 Dr. Ben Speaking of halibut boat, that's what I would smell like down there during my period.

1:02:54 Drew Thank you. For that picture.

1:02:55 Dr. Ben Yeah.

1:02:56 Drew And so basically, Amy, you do need to be seen by somebody. You know, I don't know who's giving you the shot, but this might be a time to actually get a small little evaluation, a hormonal evaluation, looking at a couple of things that can cause this, because some of these things can be actually fairly serious. Good, that's exactly right.

1:03:15 Dr. Ben Listen, we gotta start talking about halibut for a second. What's the biggest halibut you guys pulled up?

1:03:20 Dr. Ben Uh, like 290, probably.

1:03:22 Dr. Ben 290? That's a big ass halibut. Aren't they kind of flat, too?

1:03:30 Dr. Ben Oh, yeah. They lay flat on the ground.

1:03:32 Dr. Ben Donna knows halibut. 290 pound halibut?

1:03:35 Drew Mm-hmm.

1:03:36 Dr. Ben How big was that thing?

1:03:38 Drew No, I can't picture it. A fish weighing 290. Well, I mean, you can picture it, but. To haul it on the boat sounds like a hundred... Sounds worse than digging a ditch.

1:03:47 Dr. Ben Oh, I don't know. I would be very excited pulling up a 290 pound halibut. Is this for a commercial fishing thing or is this like a charter thing?

1:03:57 Dr. Ben It was charter fishing. So we had to get a six pack license so we could have six clients on our boat.

1:04:02 Dr. Ben Oh my God. And how did that guy get that 290 pound halibut up?

1:04:07 Dr. Ben Oh, well, me and the captain had to do it. We had to shoot it. You shoot it. If it's a big fish, you shoot it with a gun and then bring it in the fish like you bring it in.

1:04:17 Adam I can't even envision it.

1:04:19 Dr. Ben No, hold on a second. See, this is why we can't talk to our callers about whatever the prom is. We got to talk about whatever I'm interested in.

1:04:25 Drew I bet I put my two cents in, so take over. I'm done.

1:04:28 Dr. Ben This is vastly more exciting than your non-period, which is OK. So now you got a guy, is he strapped in? Is he in a fighting chair?

1:04:38 Dr. Ben No, my captain was actually a female.

1:04:41 Dr. Ben What I'm saying is...

1:04:42 Drew The customer.

1:04:43 Dr. Ben Yeah, why?

1:04:45 Dr. Ben Most of the time, either me or the captain was in the fish. And we just wore a belt and the belt had like an anchor on it and you put the pole in the belt that went around your waist.

1:04:55 Adam I thought the customer would be doing that.

1:04:57 Drew Yeah, but why are they paying you to do this?

1:05:00 That's why I hate talking to people who call this show.

1:05:02 Drew Watching you pull in the halibut that they paid you for. It's a chartered boat, right?

1:05:06 Adam That's plenty of excitement.

1:05:07 Drew Yeah.

1:05:09 Dr. Ben I don't know.

1:05:11 Drew You have to ask it.

1:05:12 Dr. Ben Why don't you get on dry land and just wait at the restaurant until the halibut shows up? You're really...

1:05:16 Drew You're missing out on everything.

1:05:18 Dr. Ben So, no, wait, Amy.

1:05:20 Dr. Ben Yes.

1:05:21 Dr. Ben Is there a fighting chair on the boat? I just want to know.

1:05:24 Dr. Ben No, there's no seating on the boat.

1:05:26 Dr. Ben What's that?

1:05:26 Dr. Ben There's no... There's no fighting chair. No.

1:05:30 Dr. Ben There's no what?

1:05:31 Dr. Ben I think she said feeding. Fighting chair?

1:05:34 Dr. Ben I mean, it's a chair that you sit in. You strap yourself in.

1:05:38 Dr. Ben No, there's no... There's no seating on the boat.

1:05:40 Dr. Ben Oh, no seating on the boat. Okay. So, you strap yourself down to something and that's not a seat.

1:05:47 Dr. Ben Well, I'm not anchored to the boat at all. No. I'm reeling in the fish.

1:05:50 Dr. Ben You're reeling in the fish.

1:05:52 Dr. Ben I'm basically wearing a belt that the pole can sit in. Right.

1:05:56 Adam And where's the customer? What are they doing?

1:05:59 Dr. Ben They'd be like right next to me and watch me reel in the fish. They would star and then they'd get tired. You're fishing it like…

1:06:07 Drew If they get tired. Could they reel in the fish, though? If they wanted to, could they reel in the fish?

1:06:11 Dr. Ben If they wanted, yeah, but usually, I mean, if they had to… Okay.

1:06:14 Dr. Ben You got to understand. Here's another hallmark of our college. They think we were there. Whatever it is they're describing, it's if they're describing to someone who was standing there, so they leave out a lot of the big stuff, because it's like a movie that we saw with them, you see. That's it. But we're asking them to explain the movie, and they're kind of like, well, you remember when Frodo… No, I don't remember that.

1:06:34 Drew Wasn't there.

1:06:34 Dr. Ben All right. All right. So, 290 pounds. So the person hooks up… Uh-huh. Uh, I'm sorry, Amy? Yeah? What are you, an angry dyke? What's up with you? Are we boring you? Look. Hey, do we call you at your house to bug you about hormones and fishing or do you call this goddamn show? Why don't you wake up and stop acting like we're bothering you with our incessant questions about halibut? Uh-huh. What? Oh. She… Jesus Christ, you sound like a snob. All right. Well, loosen up a little, baby. We're asking about your goddamn fishing. Jesus Christ, an ATF agent has just kicked in your front door? You got some fugitive boyfriend that's hiding under the bed and you're not talking? I'm asking you about a halibut.

1:07:25 Dr. Ben Okay, what do you want to know?

1:07:29 Dr. Ben Where's your dad? Was he mean to you? Who was mean to you? Where's your dad?

1:07:33 Dr. Ben No.

1:07:34 Dr. Ben Why are you angry? You angry at men?

1:07:36 Adam She's got 11 months of PMS saved up.

1:07:39 Dr. Ben How can you work on a halibut boat and not be a lesbian?

1:07:44 Dr. Ben Well, I left for Alaska to actually get away from my next boyfriend.

1:07:49 Dr. Ben Abusive, right?

1:07:50 Dr. Ben Yeah, a little bit.

1:07:52 Dr. Ben A little bit. And dad wasn't half a prick?

1:07:56 Dr. Ben No, my dad was a good father.

1:07:57 Dr. Ben Really? Your biological dad's a good one, but the stepdad, he was mean, right? I got to get back to Halibut here. So the guy hooks up with the halibut, he gets tired, it's a 290 pound fish. He hands it off to you or, God love me, the captain's got to be lesbian. She's the captain of a halibut ship. What's that?

1:08:26 Dr. Ben No, she grew up in the town.

1:08:27 Dr. Ben Okay, anyway.

1:08:28 Dr. Ben It was a small town in Alaska.

1:08:30 Dr. Ben Hands it off. You guys reel it up. At what point do you take the gun out and shoot the fish?

1:08:36 Dr. Ben Well, as I'd be reeling, you can see the fish coming to the surface and she'd have the gun in the hand and she would shoot it when she saw it, you know, getting tired coming up. Yeah. And you let the blood drain out of the fish so that way it weighs less because otherwise you're trying to...

1:08:52 Dr. Ben Gaff it on board. And then down goes the gaffer's hooks and everyone just drags it on board? Exactly.

1:09:00 Dr. Ben Yeah, exactly.

1:09:01 Dr. Ben And, and how much, by the way, when you shoot the, when you shoot the fish in the water, how long you got to hang out and how much blood, I mean, are you going to lose five pounds or, you know what I mean, like how much weight is a thing going to lose in blood just sitting there?

1:09:16 Dr. Ben Oh, I don't know. We usually just let it hang over for me about 10 minutes.

1:09:19 Dr. Ben Really?

1:09:20 Dr. Ben Wow. You try not to do it unless it was a really big fish because they attract, you know, blood attract sharks.

1:09:27 Dr. Ben Sure.

1:09:27 Dr. Ben Sharks loved our bait.

1:09:29 Dr. Ben Really?

1:09:30 Dr. Ben And then if you hook it, you reel in a shark that would come out.

1:09:32 Dr. Ben 290 pound halibut. That's awesome. All right. Thanks, Amy. I appreciate that.

1:09:39 Drew You enjoyed that call.

1:09:40 Dr. Ben I just did 290. I mean, look, you catch like an 18 pound striper, it's like that's a huge fish. I mean, you hold like a 24 pound bass up, it's like, holy Christ, see, the guy's holding it. It's like a holding a kid, you know. It's huge. 290 pound, everybody.

1:09:59 Drew I caught a seven pound bass before and that's huge. I can't imagine what a 290 pound fish is.

1:10:06 Dr. Ben Look, I just like the idea where you're going in and getting the firearms.

1:10:10 Drew Yeah.

1:10:11 Dr. Ben We're going to put a bullet in this thing before it comes up.

1:10:14 Drew That's serious fish there.

1:10:15 Dr. Ben Yeah.

1:10:16 Drew That's a big fish.

1:10:16 Adam What do you do with all that?

1:10:18 Dr. Ben I don't know. I think you got to mount it. You can't eat it.

1:10:21 Adam It's been shot.

1:10:22 Drew 290.

1:10:24 Dr. Ben By the way, the captain's got to be a lesbian.

1:10:29 Drew You know what I imagine?

1:10:30 Dr. Ben Yeah.

1:10:31 Drew I imagine Alaska. I mean, like Alaska. I mean, you have to be nuts to live there, don't you?

1:10:37 Dr. Ben I think so. Or born there.

1:10:39 Drew And then like to move there.

1:10:40 Dr. Ben So your parents are nuts.

1:10:41 Drew Okay. But then you like, I mean, how horrible was this relationship for her to move to Alaska?

1:10:46 Dr. Ben I know.

1:10:46 Drew This is horrible.

1:10:48 Dr. Ben I know. I guess there's no foreign legion for women, so they got to move to Alaska. All right. I could have, I'm telling you, there was something there. Could have gotten to it.

1:10:57 Drew I'm not disagreeing.

1:10:58 Dr. Ben Too much fish talk. Not enough relationship talk. I'm going to tell you, there was something that was there with the abusive boyfriend in moving to Alaska. 290 pound halibut. All right. Donna D'Errico is here. She's about 118 pound halibut, yes? That's nice. No, that's a term of endearment. Dr. Ben filling in for Dr. Drew. We'll be right back after this.

1:11:27 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:11:42 Dr. Ben 1-800-LOVE-1-NINE-1 Hey, everybody.

1:11:46 Dr. Ben He's filling in for Dr. Drew. He's O-G-B-Y-N and knows all the kid stuff and the kind of college stuff. But he's a doctor, too, and a lover, really, and a day laborer. Those are really his claims to fame. Donna D'Errico is here tonight. Comic book, the movie, it's out on DVD. She plays Liberty Lass, and it's got a lot of big names involved with this. So including Kevin Smith and Hefner, Stan Lee, and other names. Mark Carman. Mark Carman.

1:12:18 Adam Hamill.

1:12:19 Dr. Ben Mark Hamill. And Mark Carman, and someone else.

1:12:22 Adam comicbookthemovie.com, you can go check it out.

1:12:24 Dr. Ben And we just got off the internet and looked at a halibut that looked like it went about 100, maybe 110, 120 pounds. So we're doing a little halibut job.

1:12:36 Drew No bullet hole, though.

1:12:38 Dr. Ben We didn't see a bullet hole in any of the fish.

1:12:42 Dr. Ben Let's get back to the phones. And Juan wants a vasectomy, but Kristen over there is having an affair with a doctor she works for. Sounds more provocative. I'm going with Kristen.

1:12:55 Dr. Ben Kristen?

1:12:57 Hello?

1:12:57 Dr. Ben You're having an affair with a doctor you work for. He's 33 and has kids.

1:13:05 Yes, I've been seeing him off and on. Well, I see him almost every day. He always comes down and says hi and stuff like that. And we've gone out to lunch many times.

1:13:19 Dr. Ben You said you work for him. So I...

1:13:21 Yeah.

1:13:22 You assume me to see him.

1:13:24 Clinic, yeah.

1:13:25 Dr. Ben Right, okay. Cause Ben was telling me off the air, he nails a lot of his staff workers too. And then made me promise not to mention anything on the air.

1:13:34 Now he says that he wants to move slow.

1:13:40 Adam He's married and has kids?

1:13:43 Dr. Ben Yeah, let me translate wants to move slow. I would like to bang you for as long as possible before you get tired of it and eventually lay down and ultimatum.

1:13:53 Which I ignore. We haven't had sex.

1:13:56 Dr. Ben Oh, really? Interesting.

1:13:58 I mean, we've been around.

1:14:01 Dr. Ben What have you done? Oral sex?

1:14:04 Drew Yes. Where is that not sex?

1:14:09 Dr. Ben I don't know. And to me, look, I swear to God, if my mate was gonna cheat on me, I'd rather have her F some guy than blow some guy. I really would. It's more egregious somehow. That's all the bad part without any of the love. Yeah, at least you're, if you're humping someone, maybe you're in love with them. That the BJ is just a gratuitous.

1:14:31 But I would be, I mean, I would like it to be more. And I think, I think he would too.

1:14:38 Dr. Ben I see. And where, where were you? Were you guys able to steal away to?

1:14:45 He drove me home one night.

1:14:48 Dr. Ben Ah, and he just got a little action in the car?

1:14:50 Yes, he did. A lot.

1:14:54 Dr. Ben Well, who says a chivalry is dead, by the way? He just drove us home, unzipped his fly, let you get a little busy there. He sounds like a delight. And he's a, but he's a father, right?

1:15:07 Yes, he has a five year old and an 11 year old.

1:15:10 Dr. Ben A five year old and an 11 year old.

1:15:12 Adam And a wife.

1:15:15 Dr. Ben And a wife. Yeah, here's the other thing that sounds strange. He's 33.

1:15:22 Drew Yes, and an 11 year old.

1:15:23 And this isn't the first time it's been known for him to cheat on his wife.

1:15:28 Dr. Ben Oh, well hold on a second. He's just 33? And he has an 11 year old and he's a doctor? Nah, something's missing. He's older and you've changed his age. How do you crank out a kid and become a doctor at that young age? It just seems like the odds are stacked against him.

1:15:50 Drew It's possible, but it's a lot of work. Yeah, it's possible.

1:15:52 Dr. Ben All right, so he's done this before.

1:15:55 Yes.

1:15:56 Dr. Ben So what makes you think you're the last one?

1:15:59 Oh, it's not that I think I'm the last one. I just would like this to move.

1:16:08 Dr. Ben Move forward to where though? I mean, but look, it's like there's a cliff in front of you. You're saying I want a mile before I hit that cliff instead of a hundred feet before I go off the edge of the cliff. Either way, you got to get off the road, not extend it. Do you know what I'm saying? You're not going anywhere.

1:16:27 Adam So what you're wanting him to leave his wife and kids and look up with you.

1:16:31 Drew What's the ultimate goal?

1:16:33 Well, yeah, it is a catch 22 because if he leaves his wife, I'm in the position where, okay, you know, what if he does this again to some, you know.

1:16:44 Adam When does?

1:16:45 Dr. Ben Yeah, he's got to do it. Listen, okay, listen to me, listen to me, he's a flawed guy. You're being kind of naive and maybe you're being vulnerable and there's a little self-esteem issues here. And of course it's always exciting to have some guy with a degree who you sort of work for and or look up to and are both, you know, showing an interest in you. Don't mistake it for love. And please understand this is not a good guy. And you're 22. You should be dating some 27-year-old guy who's free and clear, who wants, you can have a future with. There's zero future with this guy.

1:17:24 He is a really good guy. He, I mean, he's one of the nicest guy I know.

1:17:29 Dr. Ben Yeah, that's called sociopath. This is how all these guys work. You understand? This is how they get into the apartment so they can rape and kill their victims because they're sweet guys.

1:17:41 Adam But plus he's somebody else's sweet, nice guy.

1:17:45 Dr. Ben Yeah, and someone else's sweet, nice dad, too.

1:17:48 Adam And if you're worried about hooking up with him and then him doing it to you and how crushed you'd feel, that's what's happening to his wife right now.

1:17:55 Dr. Ben The question is, what's, we break up or...

1:17:59 Adam Find somebody that's not married.

1:18:01 Dr. Ben What's wrong with your self-esteem?

1:18:02 Adam Exactly.

1:18:03 Dr. Ben Where's nothing. All right, then just find, listen, find a regular guy who's free and clear. This has gone on far enough. You're gonna dig yourself in deeper, it's gonna be a disaster, you're gonna get jilted. You're gonna start, you're gonna threaten to call the guy up and he's gonna have a drifter kill you. Oh yes.

1:18:21 Drew Oh yes.

1:18:22 Dr. Ben If I had a nickel for every time I had to get a drifter to, you know, clean up a little mess, as I like to call it, I'd be a rich man. Rich man.

1:18:32 Drew You get drifter calls? You get killed by a drifter call?

1:18:36 Dr. Ben No, I have to call.

1:18:39 Drew You make the phone calls for somebody.

1:18:40 Dr. Ben Ben, you never know what I'm talking about.

1:18:42 Drew But not after 11.30, not at this point.

1:18:45 Dr. Ben Look, you're all burnt out from digging all day.

1:18:48 Drew That's right.

1:18:50 Dr. Ben What about the commitment to the show? What about the kids? Donna, you see Donna took a nap today.

1:18:57 Drew If we really want...

1:18:57 Dr. Ben Donna's got a nice charge on her batteries. You just...

1:19:00 Drew I'm fading.

1:19:01 Dr. Ben You're fading.

1:19:02 Drew But I can tell you this much. If we were like that woman from Alaska with the captain, I would have gaffed the fish. You would have shot it in the head.

1:19:11 Dr. Ben I would have shot you. I would have shot you.

1:19:13 Drew Where were you when I needed help today?

1:19:14 Dr. Ben As soon as you got that fish on board, pow, next bullet, right in your head. Then we chum you up, make a nice slick of remembrance. Nice chum slick of remembrance. Yep, look at Dr. Ben drawing up world-class trophy fish. That's the way he would have wanted it. All right, let's take a break. I don't have the energy to talk to anyone else. All right, his kid's married. All right, all right.

1:19:36 Drew Let's talk to Juan.

1:19:37 Dr. Ben Juan. Juan, you're 24. Pacemaker. Juan, what's going on over there, buddy?

1:19:51 I'm at a grocery store right now.

1:19:53 Drew Checking out.

1:19:54 Yeah, well, I already had my consult with the doctor for a vasectomy.

1:19:59 Drew Yeah.

1:19:59 And the thing is, I wanna know if there's any, I don't know if there's anything, if he didn't tell me long-term that it may occur long-term down the line or anything.

1:20:10 Dr. Ben No.

1:20:11 Drew Can I ask Juan some questions? Juan, Dr. Ben, I just wanna know, 24, you want irreversible permanent sterilization, you're 24.

1:20:19 Caller Exactly.

1:20:21 Dr. Ben The answer would be yes. But first, stop.

1:20:25 Drew Because there are other options for birth control. I mean, you're 24.

1:20:28 Caller Well, no, my wife, she's on the patch right now, but we don't want, we're done, but she gets really bad side effects. She's already tried to fill, she's had the shot, and she's got really bad side effects on the birth control.

1:20:41 Drew Okay.

1:20:41 Dr. Ben Picture in one with about 700 bucks where the strain peas all going across the thing, the little Gerber thing. How many, what do you got, three kids?

1:20:50 Caller Yeah, well, I have two and a stepchild.

1:20:53 Dr. Ben Two and a stepchild. That's enough.

1:20:55 Drew Okay, I mean, not that there's, you know, if you guys are that certain, you don't want any more children, obviously, you know, it's, you know, you should approach it as an irreversible procedure, but one thing that they do talk about being reversible. Yeah, but you shouldn't like, like any sterile, any surgical sterilization procedure, you should really approach it as this is it. And then the other thing, Juan, again, just a suggestion. Your wife could consider an IUD. I don't know if she's ever tried that. No medications on board. Just as good as having her tubes tight and yet is reversible and you wouldn't have, I mean, there are other options for you, but let's assume that none of those options are good enough for you. There was some thoughts. I tell you where Juan's question is coming from. There was an article based on actually, what turns out to be too few patients that did make an association between vasectomies and prostate cancer.

1:21:45 Dr. Ben Too few patients to make an actual study.

1:21:48 Drew Yes, although in that study, there was some statistical significant difference when they repeated the study using a much larger group of patients. The assessment from that previous study was overturned. And now we do not think that there's any association between vasectomies and prostate cancer. So at this point, we do not see any, let's call it down the line consequences to having a vasectomy other than for a 24 year old having permanent, irreversible sterility.

1:22:15 Dr. Ben He's got two kids, that's plenty. We need to do.

1:22:17 Drew He knows what he's gotten counseling and he knows what he's getting into and the answer to his question is it's safe.

1:22:22 Dr. Ben Let me say this. I was talking with Drew, Christ, was it Drew? I had so many damn doctors here in the last few days. Maybe it was Drew, but we were talking about the IUD. Got a bad rap in the 70s or the 80s. But it's back. Big time. It's back big time. An idea that you can insert this paper clip in your coups and you're good for eight years or something crazy. 10 years. It's pretty nutty. I mean it's something I think a lot of women might not have on their birth control chart of options. They got the pill and the patch and the injections and stuff and everyone's so freaked out about the hormones and the mood swings and all that kind of stuff. You can essentially, stop me if I'm wrong, go see a doctor. He can do this very simple procedure and you cannot worry about taking a pill or having any hormonal side effects or anything and be as safe as having your tubes tied. As having your tubes tied for 10 years.

1:23:26 Drew That's correct.

1:23:27 Dr. Ben I mean, this should be front page news kind of stuff. Should it not?

1:23:31 Drew It's the Dacron Shield completely incapacitated people's ability to think about the IED as a viable option in this country. If you look at Europe, where the Dacron Shield issue was really not an issue, their use per population is more than five times what our use is in this country. So the ramifications of all those horrible stories in the 70s with that particular IED device are still affecting us today. And that is, when I sit across the table and talk to a patient about all of her birth control pill options, including an IUD, I can almost sense as soon as I say the word IUD, there's so many bad thoughts associated with that that I have to overcome like 30 years of prejudice on that one.

1:24:06 Dr. Ben That was the, it was the Dacron, what? Shield?

1:24:10 Drew Uh-huh.

1:24:11 Dr. Ben Which one?

1:24:11 Drew The Dacron Shield.

1:24:13 Dr. Ben Dacron, my dad had a sport coat, I think he called the Dacron Shield during his single days in the 70s when he would step out. He had a pick with a fist in it and stuff. Platform shoes.

1:24:24 Drew That works for birth control.

1:24:27 Dr. Ben Do you realize the emotional scarring of having your parents get divorced in like 1973 and have your dad go from looking like Fred McMurray to Mr. Hip. Yeah, Superfly. Go out and get some new threads. His man, he's a single man now. Got this got the jeans that does zip. Got cinch up in the front and in the back.

1:24:53 Drew Like Larry from Three's Company. Didn't we talk about it?

1:24:56 Dr. Ben Yeah. Maybe.

1:24:59 Drew He's Larry.

1:25:00 Dr. Ben Pick. Big old picking that Brillo head out, stepping out. Got impressed young ladies. Yeah. You're single. Yeah. How about the piece of ass you're driving in the crappy apartment you're living in? Do you think that might hurt the hurt the hand just a little bit? Maybe just a little. We're going to take ourselves a little bit of a break down at D'Errico here tonight. The Dr. Ben is here tonight. Back to life, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. Second win.

1:25:29 Drew It's the water.

1:25:30 Dr. Ben Second win. He's going to fade.

1:25:32 Drew Thanks, Lauren. We'll take a water.

1:25:33 Dr. Ben We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:25:36 Drew Loveline.

1:25:38 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191. Thank you.

1:25:47 Dr. Ben It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Ben. Donna D'Errico is here tonight. Comic Book the Movie, which you can go to comicbookthemovie.com.

1:26:00 Adam That's right.

1:26:01 Dr. Ben Find that DVD. Lots of big names. And if you're into comic books, or you're just a fan of comedy.

1:26:10 Adam 100% improv. There was no script.

1:26:12 Dr. Ben Really?

1:26:12 Adam Yeah.

1:26:13 Dr. Ben Well, if you're a fan of improv, then you wouldn't be a fan of improv if you're listening to this show. But if you are, you go to that www... That's right.

1:26:22 Adam comicbookthemovie.com.

1:26:24 Dr. Ben And go pick up the DVD. All right. Back to the phones we go. Who do you want to talk to?

1:26:30 Drew Sarah's fine. Sarah Clovis. Where's Sarah?

1:26:34 Dr. Ben Hello?

1:26:34 Drew Hey, Sarah. Where's Clovis?

1:26:37 Dr. Ben Right outside of Fresno.

1:26:39 Drew Oh, I didn't know that. I learned something. Okay, go ahead.

1:26:44 Dr. Ben I was wondering if it was like pointless to take birth control pills like the... I'm sorry, not the pills, the shot. And also take breast enhancement pills that increases fertility.

1:26:59 Dr. Ben Breast enhancement pills that increase fertility.

1:27:02 Drew So Sarah, first of all, are you currently taking something that purports to make your breasts bigger?

1:27:08 Dr. Ben No, I wanted to know about it first before I decided to take anything.

1:27:12 Drew I am not aware of any product that actually does that. So I'm not aware of any oral product, not aware of anything like that other than, you know, what's interesting here, Sarah, for you, birth control pills can make your breasts a little bigger. They contain estrogen and that actually would work. So if you need contraception, birth control pills are a great idea. And as a nice little side effect for you, if that's what you're looking for, they might make your breasts a little bit bigger. Why don't you do that?

1:27:37 Dr. Ben Yes. And listen, everybody, no pill does anything, just doesn't. I mean, listen, if you go, you get a prescription, maybe you can stop a little acid reflux or something, but making your penis bigger, making your boobs bigger, it just it's it's all nonsense. Please. They just prey upon people. And it's unfair that these poor, feeble minded, desperate people got to drop their last thirty seven bucks on some ISIS or some sort of pick some Greek god or goddess and then. They name a pill after and it's just a bunch of fetterin and crap and it's nonsense. Doc Alter is one of the few guys who does a gender reassignment.

1:28:29 Dr. Ben That's a tough bracket.

1:28:31 Drew That's major.

1:28:34 Dr. Ben Oh, yes, it is. Yes.

1:28:36 Drew How was he to talk to?

1:28:38 Dr. Ben He's an interesting chap. I made plenty of fun of him. Don't worry. I've abused him verbally for quite some time. But with that being said, he is a guy who holds, he's board certified in plastic surgery and in urology and is quite a brilliant guy.

1:28:57 Drew He's got to be.

1:28:59 Dr. Ben I mean, make all the fun you want of some guy.

1:29:01 Drew No, I'm not making fun of him.

1:29:02 Dr. Ben I think he'll turn your Pepe into a who chew. I mean, he'll take your penis, make it into a vagina. And that's kind of creativity. Got to be able to hook up the plumbing.

1:29:16 Drew Sure. They have to be brilliant.

1:29:18 Dr. Ben Oh, my God. But boy, here's parents pissed. But the point the point is, we talked to him about the penis enhancement. He's done a little that and the pills and stuff. And here's the point, I've never spoken to a doctor and I've spoken to many, many doctors who come through here about any appeal that really work for any kind of enhancement of really anything, and especially the non-prescription stuff you see advertised on late night television or perhaps this radio show. OK. So ignore it. It's junk. And they give you that money back guarantee stuff. They just they just they know the certain percentage of population is going to think their boobs. I give them I give them I give them a frozen pea. They think their boobs got bigger if I told me their cans bigger. Number one. Number two. They're stupid and they're embarrassed. You give them a run around. They never get their money back. You guys are charlatans. You guys. You guys. You doctors. No, the people that are the people that are putting these products out and same with the guy stuff. This is junk. And there's never any conclusive evidence that means it works. And listen, everybody, just because somebody says it's guaranteed or we give a money back guarantee, who cares? So, they send the money back to 10 people. Meanwhile, 10,000 didn't get their money back and they make their money. Sure. All right. See you folks in hell, by the way. People have put that crap out. Where are we? Who are we talking to? Let's. What's going on? Lip ring?

1:30:40 Drew Lip ring is a good one.

1:30:41 Dr. Ben Yeah. What happened to the part where you were going to put a little sticker on it?

1:30:44 Drew The sticker doesn't even stick anymore. I put it by the thing. It just falls off.

1:30:48 Dr. Ben So, now I point.

1:30:49 Drew You know what?

1:30:50 Dr. Ben That's the one you were going to do, Christian?

1:30:52 Drew For the last.

1:30:53 Dr. Ben Did you force me to have that thought?

1:30:55 Drew Think about my back. I realized that for 90 minutes, I did do the sticker. For 30 minutes, you can do it.

1:31:03 Dr. Ben As a doctor, you know that performing 75% of the procedure would be enough. So, when you're delivering a baby, kid's head starts to crown. That's done. You're there for over three hours. It's time to walk.

1:31:16 Drew And nine months of prenatal care. Give me some credit for the office stuff.

1:31:21 Dr. Ben Look, I said it when I used to be a carpenter. I was at a guy's house working and I got almost done with his job and then I was done. He said, I get it, he said, you're one of these 90 percenters. You get to 90 percent, but you never finish. Just get to 90 percent and then you walk. And I said, you know what, I'm a 75 percenter, but I gave you an extra 15 percent.

1:31:48 Dr. Ben Yeah.

1:31:48 Dr. Ben You got to start thinking about it that way.

1:31:50 Drew That's right.

1:31:50 Dr. Ben So Ben over here, I was a 50 percent and I gave you 75 percent.

1:31:55 Dr. Ben A man and brought his 25 percent in here and he brought his C game, everybody, and he's a D game guy. Yeah. All right. Well, now I have a completely different take on the whole thing.

1:32:08 Drew And I expect to thank you at the end of the day.

1:32:09 Dr. Ben Thank you.

1:32:11 Drew I got it early again.

1:32:12 Dr. Ben Nicole.

1:32:13 Drew Nicole. She's been on hold for over an hour. She's sleeping. All right.

1:32:18 Dr. Ben So be it. We'll be back after this. All right, guys. Sorry about that little vacation story Anne. Did you hear that, Anderson?

1:32:55 Dr. Ben Yeah, I heard the tail end.

1:32:57 Dr. Ben And the beginning. Sorry, buddy. Engineer Anderson back at Westwood 2 over there. And like I said, if someone would be man enough to take a torch to that dump, we could all be put out our misery. Engineer Anderson could come over here. All right, that is the show. I want to thank Donna D'Errico for coming in here tonight. You kids can go to www.comicbookthemovie.com, figure out where you can get that DVD. Always a delight, always a pleasure.

1:33:27 Adam Great to be here.

1:33:28 Dr. Ben Dr. Ben, fantastic.

1:33:31 Drew You got that extra 25%.

1:33:33 Dr. Ben Extra, it boosts us right up to 75. I want to thank engineer Chris for pulling up pictures of Halibut all night and you're doing a fantastic job. He's amazing, this kid over here. I want to thank producer Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior producer Lauren and producer Ann for doing a great job booking great guests all week. Phone screener Brian, oh, the heard but not seen and actually not even heard it. Phone screener Brian doing a great job. And of course, our favorite disgruntled employee, engineer Anderson, great job on those potentiometers all week long. So until next time, Sam Kroll for Dr. Ben.

1:34:15 Drew Sang.

1:34:16 Dr. Ben Mahalo.

1:34:20 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Thursday, February 12, 2004