Episode 1000589352002

0:52 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:00 Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:05 Voiceover That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:09 Adam Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Dexter's here from the Offspring, and hi, Dexter.

1:16 The Offspring Hi, guys.

1:17 Adam Good to see you.

1:18 The Offspring You, too.

1:19 Adam Offspring, happy band. Very happy.

1:21 It makes me happy to listen to Offspring.

1:23 Adam Drew loves the Offspring.

1:24 Drew I do like the Offspring.

1:25 Adam I love the Offspring, too, because we've talked about that their anthem-like songs always get the crowd jumping.

1:32 Drew And I think for you and me, the thing we'll always remember is in the Shrine Auditorium here in Los Angeles, watching the balcony nearly collapse.

1:38 Adam Yeah, about four years ago.

1:39 The Offspring That was really something. I didn't see it, but I heard it was, yeah, it was really bouncing up and down. Our T-shirt guy was selling T-shirts under the balcony, and he ran out of the building.

1:47 Adam Yeah. I thought he was going to die as a yeah, I mean, you literally could have rocked a few thousand kids to death.

1:54 The Offspring Yeah, that would have been cool.

1:56 Adam That would have been a good on your resume. Like how many people have you killed with your rock? I rocked, I think it was like 2200 kids at the shrine.

2:04 I killed, I rocked.

2:06 The Offspring Oh, you know, you want to be up there with, you know, the Who and Pearl Jam and everyone else has had deaths at their shows.

2:11 Adam I think when you picture yourself rocking someone to death, you picture their head explode. Not so much them being crushed by a girder and a fat kid above them. But still, technically, it's a kill. It's a kill. And it goes on the guitar case as a kill, as a notch. So funny story. I was walking in, oh, about two minutes before the show began running through the parking lot. For early. Yeah, there was a guy outside yelling at me through the fence. I always enjoy the part where people think I know about the show, you know, they go, Adam, what happened to Rodman? He didn't make it tonight. And I was like, uh, he was on the show. Now it's a minute and 48 before the show starts. I go, and he goes, no, he's Rodman's not making, he didn't make it. And I was like, okay, thanks stranger for telling me about my show. And then he goes, uh, uh, Jake Busey's in there. And I go, uh, Jake Busey and he's yeah, Jake's in there. And I was like, all right, all right. Well, I now I'm prepared to come around the court, whatever it is, I never know anything. I'm always prepared, you know, to go, oh, hey, great. No, Jake, yeah. I was excited when I heard you're coming on the show, you know, which is 20 seconds ago, you know, we've been looking forward to it for like the last 11 seconds. So I turned the corner and there was Dexter. Now it was weird. It was, uh, that's not Jake. I thought to myself, but who? Because I, I had no context now. I was, you know, it's like when you take a swig of something out of the refrigerator that you think is orange juice, Drew, shut up. No, it's not soiled. Cause then you know what it is.

3:51 Drew I see.

3:51 Adam It's when you think you're taking the chug of orange juice and it could be milk or high C or something.

3:56 There's a minute of promise.

3:58 Adam There's a, there's that, I know what this taste is. I just don't know what it is because I thought it was something else. I know who Dexter is. I don't know who he is because I thought he was Jake Busey. I was, I was led in with a Jake Busey momentum.

4:10 The Offspring Right.

4:11 Okay. Yeah.

4:11 The Offspring There were a couple of professional autograph people out there, but that is what happened. Which is all right.

4:18 Adam Jake, you could do worse than one of the Buseys.

4:25 Drew Most likely, yes, yes.

4:26 Adam I mean, you'd absolutely do worse. The new CD is called the Splinter and we're going to hear stuff off of it. 32 million CDs sold. That seems like a lot of CDs.

4:38 Drew That is, I begin to think, Adam, we need to form a band.

4:42 Adam I think we could move some product.

4:44 Drew Right.

4:44 Adam Every night we're playing our stuff on our show.

4:47 Drew Couldn't lose.

4:48 The Offspring You guys should have some platinum records.

4:50 Adam And then after we play our song, I come back and I'm like, wow, those guys rock.

4:55 Drew You know, we got, I see what we got to do now.

4:58 What?

4:58 Drew After Baldwin was here last week, I know you've changed your ways. We need to do Christian rock stuff. It's much easier, smaller, smaller fields.

5:07 Right.

5:08 The Offspring I'm taking rap, rap duo.

5:10 Yeah, Christian rap duo.

5:13 The Offspring Yeah.

5:14 Adam Yeah. That's always, there's a funny, I don't know when this started happening in life, somewhere around the, it's going to be interesting when the anthropologists start examining and unearthing our culture many years from now. But you know, the idea, the sort of, it's sort of Christian rock, like heavy metal, little Christian music and then sort of snack wells, like these are triple fudge, whatever, but they're zero carbs and no calories. It's kind of the same thing where like you're trying to take two things that don't really quite belong together. It's like, I want my chocolate triple fudge, but I don't want any calories. I want my heavy metal. I don't want the satanic theme. I want it all. But it always comes out like ass. That's the, that's it. We, you know, we can't figure it out.

6:01 Drew But I want Jesus to bless it.

6:03 Adam Right.

6:04 Adam Right.

6:05 Adam Right.

6:05 Adam Now, I just, I don't know, one day in the future, you'll be able to get your triple fudge with no calories and you'll be able to get your, your, your hard driving metal licks with your, with your Jesus driven themes. But that's, this ain't that day. We haven't quite so far. All we have is a anal leakage. That's that's all. That's what we get. The chips that have, I'm saying that the chips that have zero calories and no carbs. I'm saying we get, we got the anal leakage. Right. That's, that's our legacy. Before us, they were happy because they're like, hey, we're eating these chips. We don't even know they're bad for us. We're enjoying ourselves.

6:39 Drew Before that, they need to find ways to consume calories.

6:42 Adam After us, they'll have the chips minus the anal leakage. We are the anal leakage. We're the crossover anal leakage.

6:49 Drew We're the 70s architecture.

6:51 Adam We're in the purgatory of anal leakage.

6:54 Drew Yes.

6:54 Of cars, of automobiles.

6:56 Yes.

6:56 Adam Purgatory is where we're at.

6:58 Yes.

6:58 Adam And we get our Christian Rock and our anal leakage. I'll tell you, band, I'll make your anus leak. Offspring.

7:05 Yeah.

7:05 Drew Adam and I spent a couple days in San Francisco, Dexter.

7:08 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

7:10 Drew It was good times.

7:11 Yeah.

7:11 Adam We did a little traveling. Swung together.

7:13 Drew Went to Stanford.

7:14 The Offspring Talking to the kids.

7:15 Drew Yeah, Stanford.

7:16 Adam Trying to straighten the kids out. Always nice when the guy picks you up from the airport, says, OK, how do we get to the hotel?

7:25 Drew Yeah.

7:25 Adam Always enjoy that one.

7:27 The Offspring That's a good one.

7:27 Drew Yeah. And then it was, we had a couple thousand kids waiting for us at 6.30 and I asked him five times, how long it's going to take to get there, you're factoring in traffic. Oh yeah, I'm factoring. Get in the car. And I go, what time are we going to get there? Maybe 6.37. We'll get there sometime. 6.30. No, no.

7:45 Adam Drew. Drew can be a diva when he has to. Assertive like a diva. Like someone who's assertive with a vagina. That's what I'll give you. And his wife yelled at a cab driver to slow down, which is a cardinal sin of traveling with me. I was like, ignore this crazy woman. You keep driving like a maniac. I pride myself on never, ever telling anyone to slow down.

8:12 Well, she didn't say slow down.

8:13 Drew She said, I'm going to vomit.

8:14 Adam No, she yelled.

8:15 To be fair.

8:15 Adam She yelled slow down.

8:16 Drew But then we all laughed at her.

8:18 Adam We did all laugh at her, yes, and rightfully so. Telling someone to slow down.

8:23 What are we going to do? Offspring.

8:25 Adam Offspring. Yeah. We're going to hear something off the CD. Oh, yeah. We got this. They're going to be in Europe. When are you going to Europe, Dexter?

8:32 The Offspring We're going back in about three weeks. We're going to be there for a month playing shows kind of all over. And it's a lot of fun over there.

8:38 Adam You know, you know, a little different vibe. It's kind of, can you enjoy it or are you moving too fast?

8:45 The Offspring I mean, you get out and see something maybe like once a week. It's mostly kind of, you know, right to the hotel and right to the show and stuff. But you know, that that one hour is pretty fun of the day. You know, it kind of helps make up for the rest of it.

8:56 Adam Can you can you enjoy it in the sense that are there are there butterflies the day of the show? Are there things to work out or can you just sort of enjoy your ride up until the time it's time to perform?

9:10 The Offspring Oh, yeah, we're pretty well taken care of. So it's it's all good.

9:13 All right. They're pros.

9:14 The Offspring Yeah, it is a little cold. We always end up going in the winter and stuff. So right. You know, Poland in February is it gets pretty cold. But that's all right. We're doing it for the kids.

9:23 Adam You know, do they I've never been to Poland. Do they do all the stereotypical Polak things? You know, what's a Polak thing, you know, like the Polish terrorist who burnt his lips trying to blow up the bus, you know, that kind of through the exhaust pipe, you know, that kind of good, you know, Polak, you know, choke stuff that turns out that's just a that's just stereotype.

9:44 The Offspring Oh, man, that's not all true.

9:45 Adam That is disappointing.

9:47 Drew I mean, you'll see very, very disappointed.

9:49 The Offspring That's horror.

9:49 Drew Years of studying.

9:50 Adam Oh, yeah.

9:51 Drew Hey, we are going to announce the Cabin Fever promotion where tonight, maybe next segment, I'll give you a hand. He's from Oregon. Those that you that applied.

9:59 All right.

10:00 Adam And he gets his DVD and he gets to go to Whistler where Drew has been because he's an avid skier of that Whistler and him and his buddies get to go in a cabin for four days and possibly be killed by flesh eating virus.

10:12 Drew You also have given away now that is a him.

10:15 Oh, yeah.

10:15 Drew It is a him. He's from Portland, Oregon.

10:17 Adam Well, no. Winners are guys just like boats or she's.

10:22 Drew Let's see.

10:23 Adam You understand? Oh, winners are he's. You know, chick could be named Gerald, could be Gerald Dean Jones.

10:31 Drew He's a winner.

10:31 Adam He's a winner. Just like I said, the she, you know, there's.

10:35 Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah.

10:38 Adam I mean, there's probably some ship called the Robert F. Kennedy and that's she. Sails the sea. So winners do ships.

10:46 Drew She's quite well taken.

10:47 Adam Yeah.

10:48 Drew Got that extra.

10:49 The Offspring I got it. That's interesting.

10:50 Adam I never thought I'd know that. I know that.

10:52 Vanessa 18.

10:53 The Offspring Hey.

10:54 Hi. I'm having problems.

11:00 Adam What's up?

11:01 The Offspring Well, I'm hooking up with this guy. He's older. And we did it for the first time on Saturday night.

11:08 Drew How old is he?

11:09 The Offspring He's 34.

11:10 And you're 18?

11:12 The Offspring I'm 18.

11:12 Drew Would you meet this guy?

11:15 Adam Who's Mike?

11:15 Adam Did everyone's Mike go south?

11:17 Drew Okay.

11:17 Adam That's me.

11:19 Drew Say that again, Vanessa.

11:20 The Offspring One of my friends set us up because it's her boss.

11:24 Drew Oh, that's nice. What does the restaurant work?

11:26 The Offspring Right.

11:27 He owns the business.

11:28 Wow.

11:29 Adam Nice one.

11:29 Nice one.

11:31 Adam Yeah, all all scumbags own.

11:34 Drew It's like 30 year old scumbags.

11:37 Adam Yeah.

11:37 Drew You sweet spot.

11:38 Adam You want a steady stream of Tang coming kept the stream. Right. Here's what it is. Hold on. You you become a restaurant manager, restaurant tour, your owner, man, whatever it is, even if it's just a TGI Fridays out in Canoga Park, Scott Peterson was a restaurant owner. Perfect.

11:56 Drew And they had to move him out to Modesto.

11:58 Adam So you you become you become like like a bear, just like a Kodiak bear by a stream with a never ending trout trout just going by salmon, salmon just going by. Just reach your paw out and whacking them eating it. And once while you get fat, you take a nap. But then it's right back to the stream. The stream never stops, never freezes. It's always spawning. So Vanessa's influx of 18, 19 year old college chicks. They need to be hostesses. They need to be waitresses. They're all there and they're looking for you to make their schedule. And so you're going, well, I could give you a Sunday morning, but you wouldn't make any tips. Then Friday night's a pretty, pretty hot night. I guess I could get, you know, play your cards right. And next thing you know, everyone's sitting around getting drunk, closing the place.

12:43 The Offspring Oh, you know a lot about this. Were you a restaurant manager?

12:45 Adam No, I was not.

12:46 It's just from talking to these people.

12:48 Adam Angry about it.

12:49 He would have been had he known.

12:51 Drew Vanessa, Vanessa's a trout.

12:52 Adam Yeah.

12:53 You're a trout.

12:55 Adam You don't smell like one, but you know what we're saying, right?

12:59 The Offspring So, my problem is that we slept together and his penis is like crooked. It's like, it's weird. It's like hooked or something.

13:09 Yeah.

13:11 Drew Like a hockey puck or sort of like curved?

13:14 Adam Hockey stick.

13:15 Drew Hockey stick.

13:17 Curved.

13:17 Drew Which one? Like the upper down or the one side?

13:19 The Offspring It's like curved like down.

13:21 Down.

13:21 The Offspring When it's hard.

13:22 Drew All right. That's, yeah.

13:24 Adam Down when it's hard.

13:25 Drew Yeah. No, that's not normal. And that can be kind of uncomfortable sometimes.

13:30 Adam Have you not seen a penis?

13:32 No, I have.

13:33 The Offspring But I'm just saying, like, I don't know.

13:37 I don't know.

13:37 The Offspring But anyway.

13:38 Drew Well, the curve down can be sort of a Perone syndrome. It could be something that needs to be treated. The main thing we learned from Dr. Alter, who does these operations, was on the show called A Couple Months Ago, is that the downward, although it's going the direction of the vagina, still causes a lot of pain and discomfort and tends to slip out.

13:55 Adam What's the best direction to bend?

13:58 Drew I guess a little up.

13:59 Adam Little up? Yeah.

14:00 The Offspring Little up.

14:03 The Offspring Maybe if she turns over.

14:05 Drew There you go.

14:06 Adam Well, are you going to continue to have sex with him?

14:11 The Offspring Well, we did it on Saturday and it wasn't that great, like, at all. And then I decided to give him, like, a second chance to redeem himself and it really wasn't that great again.

14:23 Adam Right. Well, the fifth time's the charm.

14:26 And it was kind of painful.

14:27 The Offspring That's what I was saying.

14:28 Adam But as long as you continue to have sex with him, that's the important part. Yeah, you got to break through.

14:34 Right.

14:34 The Offspring Well, this morning I woke up and I had a bladder infection.

14:40 Adam Hey, Vanessa. Had you been dating the guy at all?

14:45 The Offspring Well, yeah, we were like kind of seeing each other.

14:49 Drew The bladder infection is just a function of having had sex. It's not a function of the curved penis.

14:54 Adam Where?

14:55 The Offspring Well, I had surgery a few, like probably a month ago. And my doctor told me I had a laparoscopy.

15:02 Drew You had endometriosis or something?

15:03 The Offspring Yeah, I had endometriosis. And he told me not to have sex for two weeks. So after three weeks, I had sex. And it didn't hurt at all. It was fine.

15:14 Drew Good. Well, that is, again, nothing to do with your bladder infection.

15:17 The Offspring Right. Well, I got a bladder infection from that too, like a few days later.

15:21 Adam From the sex you had after three weeks?

15:24 The Offspring Yeah.

15:25 Adam Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

15:25 Drew From the laparoscopy?

15:27 Adam No, no. No, the sex she had three weeks later, she got another...

15:32 The Offspring I got a bladder infection after I had sex. Like I got it like three days after I had sex with this guy.

15:38 Drew Right. That's the function of having had sex. There was a curve, nothing to do with the anemotriosis.

15:43 Adam This is a different guy.

15:44 Drew Different guy.

15:45 Adam How come I know when people are talking about near the doctor?

15:48 Drew Didn't get the different guy thing.

15:49 Yeah.

15:50 Adam Well, there's Booksmart and then there's SmartSmartDexter.

15:54 And then I started seeing this guy.

15:57 Drew So go ahead.

15:58 The Offspring I started seeing this guy and then like we had sex on Saturday but I got a bladder infection this morning. So it's the day after and it was good.

16:08 Drew What's your question?

16:09 Adam I don't know. She gets a lot of bladder infections. Yes, she does. What does she do?

16:12 That's not necessarily a question.

16:13 Adam That's her question.

16:15 Adam What's your question, Vanessa? My penis is getting tired.

16:19 Am I supposed to?

16:20 The Offspring What am I supposed to do about it? I don't know if I should just leave him and give him the benefit of the doubt and like...

16:25 Adam Now listen, hold on a second. This guy's a jack-off. He's 34 years old.

16:30 Drew You don't need to be with this guy.

16:32 Adam You don't need to be with him.

16:33 The sex is painful because of the curvature.

16:35 Drew Yeah, you don't really like this guy. The urinary tract infections may be something you have to contend with potentially the rest of your life. Some women have UTIs every time they have sex. Some women take SEPTRA or some sulfa antibiotic or macrodentin every time they have sex.

16:49 So you need to talk to your doctor about that.

16:51 Yeah, all right.

16:52 The Offspring Why is that?

16:53 Drew Why do some women get it? The bacteria live on the outside in the perineum and their urethra is very short and just the trauma from pushing against the urethra pushes the bacteria into the bladder. And that's a sterile space and that's no longer sterile.

17:05 Adam Short urethra, is that really them?

17:07 Drew Yeah.

17:08 Adam Is that the cause?

17:09 Drew Just the tiny distance from, well, not shorter than average. It's just that's why women get them more than men.

17:16 Adam Oh, but a woman who's prone to getting them.

17:19 Drew No one knows for sure. It may have to do with the way the bladder empties or the kinds of bacteria that live on the outside.

17:23 The Offspring Does it help if a guy would wash before?

17:25 No, it's not about him.

17:27 Drew It's a really good thing. But he could not be too vigorous on that region. Be gentle. Don't worry.

17:34 Don't work it.

17:34 Adam Those days are long gone.

17:36 Drew Right. So your wife never gets your infection.

17:38 Adam No. And I always have the cooth to pop open one of the colonels' wet naps to give my dork a little polishing down before it's time to get busy, you know?

17:48 Drew I love that smiling face.

17:50 Adam The colonel?

17:51 Drew The colonel.

17:51 Adam Yeah. Sarah?

17:53 Oh, whoa.

17:55 Adam You're 14. What's up?

17:56 Caller Oh, my gosh.

17:57 Caller Sorry. You guys came to Stanford last week, right?

18:04 Caller Yes.

18:05 Caller Yeah.

18:07 Caller I really, really wanted to go, but I wasn't able to. And my sister at the end gave you a note.

18:14 Caller Oh, oh, yeah.

18:15 Adam She did.

18:16 Caller Gave me a note, right? Yeah.

18:18 Caller Well, Dr. Drew, she told me that she walked away, but I don't know.

18:23 Adam Drew doesn't like the kids.

18:25 Caller Oh, really?

18:26 Caller Yeah.

18:26 Drew Sarah, that is not true.

18:27 Adam And he's asked me not to say that.

18:29 Caller Yeah, no, you have triplets.

18:30 Drew Of course. They're just BSing.

18:31 Adam No, he likes his kids.

18:33 Caller Listen, I was out there.

18:34 Adam You like your own farts.

18:35 Drew I was out there.

18:36 Adam You know, you love your own farts. You don't like other people's farts.

18:39 Caller That's not true.

18:40 Adam Oh, he loves his kids.

18:41 Drew And then I got pulled backstage. And then we pushed Adam back out there.

18:45 Caller Completely spent a little time with the kids.

18:48 Caller Okay, I get it. So, I just wanted to make sure that you got that.

18:55 Drew What did it say? I didn't get one.

18:57 Caller Well, it was for both of you.

18:59 Drew He didn't show me. He didn't show me.

19:01 Adam I didn't show you because I knew you'd freak out because you hate kids so much. Not your own kids.

19:05 Drew What did it say, Sarah?

19:05 Caller I said that you guys are the best and that I was really upset that I couldn't go. And that you have to keep on airing the show forever because, or not forever, but forever.

19:20 Drew No, forever is fine.

19:20 Adam Forever is fine.

19:22 Caller All right. And then I don't know if my... Well, I like... And you've inspired me to become a child psychologist or something like that because I just want to help... .to help kids and stuff.

19:32 Caller Well, that's great, Sarah.

19:34 Caller Well, thanks, Sarah. I have a question. One of my friends today, she was asking me, she wants... What is the... What really happens during an orgasm when you... Like your muscles?

19:47 Caller For the ladies?

19:51 Drew No one knows entirely what is going on here. It is a rhythmic muscular discharge mediated by an automatic component of your central nervous system. It's a switch from sympathetic to parasympathetic discharge, largely mediated by spinal reflex. Though with women, clearly there needs to be input from what we call above the tentorium in your cranium in order for those things to happen as well.

20:14 Caller Back door, in other words? No.

20:17 Drew It's exactly what's happening. People can map out the physiology for you, but it's something that sort of wouldn't... There's no easy way to make a story out of that.

20:25 Caller Alright.

20:26 Adam At least not an entertaining one.

20:27 Drew Exactly.

20:29 Adam Let me just say this. We're going to hear an Offspring song, by the way, Dexter said, here from the band.

20:36 The Offspring That was a nice call there. That was like the equivalent of You Guys Rock.

20:41 Adam Yeah.

20:42 Caller We could have killed her with our information.

20:45 Adam Speaking of Drew and his love for his kids, I love Drew's kids too, don't get me wrong, but Drew, you got to figure something out. Drew, we're at Stanford. We're about to walk out on stage.

20:59 Drew They're announcing us.

21:00 Adam They're announcing. Thank Christ, the chick who brings us out gives the super long winded boring. Dr. Drew finished his residency.

21:08 Drew I think she started with his bar in the product of normal spontaneous vaginal delivery in Los Angeles, California in 1958.

21:15 Adam By the time she was talking about me, she must have just pulled just crap off the internet. You know how embarrassing your bio is and it's full of bogus crap and Adam, when he's not doing this, you can find him and his grandmother, blah, blah, blah. She's waxing on about halfway into this soliloquy. But, but moments before she's going to say, now welcome Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew, Drew's pager goes off and Drew's like, oh no, oh no, and then he looks and he goes, it's Douglas, Jordan, Jordan, Jordan. That's one of his 11 year olds.

21:47 Caller It's Jordan.

21:48 Adam He wouldn't pay me if it wasn't something serious. I said, well, you know, let, let him page your old lady or something. Let her call.

21:54 Caller He's back.

21:55 Adam No, no, he's, no, this is serious. He wouldn't page me unless it's serious. I got to get back to him. So he's like dialing the phone. She's still doing the spiel. You know, she's like, and when he graduated, well, it's funny.

22:06 Drew I'm going, you go, you go, I'll be there in a second.

22:09 Adam And I'm like, I don't want to go walking out.

22:11 Adam She goes, Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. And then I just go walking out and be like, all this stuff. So he goes, it's got to be important. So he's calling. I'm trying to like, okay, the kid's got chapped lips. He pages, it pages Drew because his lips are chapped. So so then, so now it's the middle of the show.

22:31 Drew So I go, Jordan, I'll call you back in an hour.

22:33 Adam We'll go out and walk out in an hour. Yeah, but here's what daddy should have said. Daddy should have said, Come on. Look, I'm doing something very important for the next hour and a half. Well, you got three, you got a bunch of kids and you got the pagers too tempting. It's just look, any quite daddy's in a very important meeting, Paige Mommy, who's out polishing the buckles on her shoes back at the Ritz. Call her if you want to buy, you know, call, you know, Fave, it's a medical emergency, daddy, but anything. We get out on stage and we're on stage for about half an hour, pager goes off again. Oh Jesus. It's a, now who's at this time? It's Jordan again.

23:09 Caller I got to get back. I got it.

23:10 Adam This is going to be important because he doesn't, he doesn't, he never, unless it's an emergency, he wouldn't.

23:15 The Offspring I think Renny knows that.

23:16 Caller Yeah.

23:16 Adam What's the second one? Out of blistacks.

23:18 The Offspring Yeah.

23:19 Drew I didn't, I didn't tell him. This was the hit figured an hour to gone by now. And he was repaging.

23:23 Caller Right.

23:23 Adam I guess, you know, that's the thing. We need like 22 minutes feels like an hour. And then when you get to our age, an hour feels like 70 hours.

23:31 Caller No, four minutes.

23:32 Adam Four minutes. Oh, that's right. That's right. Counterpages blown by. So anyway, then I say to Drew, when we get off stage, I say, see, you can't think it's always an emergency. And he's like, no, it's always an emergency when it costs it. Now you got the blistacks call the last two emergencies. So here's what I'm saying, Drew, you're neurotic. You got to put it in your head that you think it's an emergency every time.

23:52 Drew But it may well not be.

23:54 Adam It's probably.

23:55 Drew Probably not.

23:55 Caller Probably not.

23:56 Drew That's a good way to look at it.

23:57 Caller All right.

23:58 Adam Well, now, Drew talks so much we can't hear an offspring, so. But that's all right, because we will when we come back.

24:04 Drew And we'll announce the Cabin Fever promotion. Oh, we will.

24:06 Adam On our return.

24:07 Adam The big winner.

24:07 Drew Yeah, the big winner. The guy's going to Whistler.

24:09 Adam All right, Dexter's here from the offspring and we'll be right back after this.

24:41 Adam Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1.

24:45 Adam Dexter's here from The Offspring.

24:48 Adam Hi.

24:48 Adam Splinter, name of the new CD. You're gonna hear something off that, but just talking during the break. Dexter's an avid flyer.

24:55 Caller That's awesome. Yeah, it is.

24:57 Adam And we're talking about some airplanes and stuff, and it turns out he has a jet, smallish jet, but nonetheless a jet. I think it's the same private jet I flew on. It's about the smallest private jet.

25:13 Caller Is it not?

25:14 The Offspring Yeah, almost the smallest one.

25:15 Adam I flew it to go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras a couple of years back with Jimmy.

25:21 Drew No.

25:23 The Offspring It's fast.

25:23 Adam Well, it's fast, sorry. I just mean it's not faster than other jets, is it?

25:29 The Offspring No.

25:30 Drew It's faster than commercial, though.

25:32 Adam No.

25:32 The Offspring Actually, no, not quite, but pretty close.

25:35 Adam Direct your questions over here. I know more about AVA. And Drew, why is he, let me tell you something. I don't know. I know you don't know, but let me tell you what your problem is. You know you're like that guy. You're like that guy where someone's going, wow, look at that sweater. That's a beautiful sweater. And I got a great deal on this sweater. I got a fantastic deal on this sweater. Drew, guess how much I spent for this sweater?

25:59 Adam 28 dollars, actually.

26:01 Caller All right, now I feel bad.

26:04 Adam That's what Drew does. Faster in commercial flight, though. You fly to Europe, though, right?

26:09 Adam When you go, no, it doesn't have that kind of range.

26:14 Adam You can stand up and walk around, do jumping jacks in it, and it's kind of cigar shaped. But the fact that Dexter flies his own jet.

26:23 The Offspring Extra cool.

26:24 Adam It's super extra mega cool. And now what year is it? Is it an older jet?

26:31 The Offspring No, it's a 04. Oh, it is. Oh, 03 I guess.

26:35 Adam No, because I think the one I flew was quite a bit. And what do you do? Do you buy it? Do you lease it? Do you go in on it with a few other guys?

26:44 The Offspring You can. I, you know, this is what I'm really into. So I bought it myself.

26:49 Adam The man's got to have a hobby.

26:50 The Offspring They make them back in Kansas, in Wichita.

26:53 Adam Really?

26:53 The Offspring You go back there and pick it up and stuff. But yeah, some people are into golf, you know, or whatever.

26:57 Adam Sure. Sure.

26:59 The Offspring Much better for you.

26:59 Adam Some people collect those little like salt shakers, others collect multi-million dollar jets. All right, Drew, wait, screw that cabin fever. I'm not done with this jet thing. Now, here's how much maintenance? Let's see. How much fuel will that thing burn? Like, let's just say you want to go to LA to San Francisco. What's that going to cost in fuel, approximately?

27:23 The Offspring Well, that would be about, it'll probably burn about 200 gallons on a trip like that. So that'd be, what, like 500 bucks?

27:31 Adam Is that one way or there and back? One way. So burn about 200 gallons of jet fuel.

27:37 The Offspring Something like that.

27:38 Adam So it'd be about, that'd be 500 bucks. All right.

27:40 The Offspring Yeah, something like that.

27:41 Drew Do you have to pay a landing fee kind of thing?

27:43 The Offspring Most places you don't, but some places you do. And a lot of times they'll wave that if you get gas. I know this is really interesting to listen to or something.

27:51 Caller This is, it is interesting to us.

27:53 Adam Screw that audience. Let's just stoners over there. Just pop your sits, kids. The big boys are talking about jet travel now. And you just, if you're flying to San Francisco, do you call them and say, hey, guess who's coming?

28:05 Adam Or you just start flying in or what do you do?

28:07 Drew You have a flight plan.

28:08 The Offspring It's really easy. You call up an 800 number and file a flight plan. And they say, when do you want to go? And you say, now. And they go, okay. You hop in and turn on the radios and get your clearance and go. It's a pretty good system here in the US.

28:19 Adam Drew and I were flying back from San Francisco on Friday and Drew noted quite a few private airplanes buzzing by our plane. Very crew was angry at them.

28:30 Drew Well, no, I just never seen an approach to Burma. Very close.

28:33 Adam He put a pox on all private pilots, by the way, at that moment.

28:36 Drew Yes, they were not jet planes.

28:38 The Offspring Yeah, you guys should get a plane.

28:39 Adam Yeah, we should.

28:41 Drew Let's do enough travel. Let's go.

28:43 Adam Then I could complain about my own horrible service. All right, let's hear a song. No, let's take a call. We take a call, then a song.

28:51 Drew Can I answer?

28:51 Caller But it's gonna be fast.

28:53 Adam Screw those cabin fevers. We know it could be a girl or a guy. You know, that's how much we know.

28:58 Drew Ryan's the first name.

28:59 Adam Ryan could be a chick.

29:01 Drew He's 19.

29:03 Adam He, but when you say ages, you always use a he. He's a winner.

29:07 Drew He's a winner.

29:08 Caller All right, one quick call.

29:10 Drew From Portland, Oregon.

29:11 Adam Quick call, and then it's an offspring song. Christina, and then we gotta hurry up and get to commercial break so we can talk to Dexter more about this flying. It's very, it's impressive. It's interesting and impressive.

29:24 The Offspring Thank you, I was hoping to impress you guys.

29:25 Adam This is a quick thing.

29:27 Adam On a plane like that, what will the airframe handle?

29:30 Adam I mean, can you screw around a little with it up there? Could you?

29:34 The Offspring They tell you not to, you know, you probably could. I'm sure they can handle, you know, G's and stuff.

29:39 Caller Yeah, I mean, you don't want to do a loop, but you wouldn't do it in one of those planes.

29:43 Drew You could do a steep turn.

29:44 Caller You could, well, it's sure.

29:45 The Offspring Can you bank it?

29:46 Adam You can bank it pretty good.

29:47 The Offspring Oh yeah.

29:47 Adam You can dive it pretty good and sort of.

29:49 The Offspring You can do all that stuff.

29:50 Adam You can do all that stuff. And you could probably physically do a loop if you had to, but you just, you wouldn't want a month.

29:58 Drew You know what he's building to. You got to take us somewhere.

30:01 The Offspring Where do you guys want to go?

30:02 Caller Let's go to Vegas.

30:03 Adam It should be romantic. I mean, we're going to pack a picnic basket. Drew, bring your, bring your lute. Don't you play the lute. Yeah, that's what we're building up to. All right. Wait, quick question. And then pow, offspring. Got a Rocky to death.

30:20 Drew Christina, 19.

30:22 Adam What's up?

30:23 Yeah, okay, well, basically, I have been on break and tell for the past eight months and here lately, I've been kind of lazy about taking it frequently. And sometimes Friday nights will go by, well, I'll sleep real late Saturday mornings and I'll forget to take it Sunday mornings also. And I'm starting to get a little worried because-

30:43 Drew You should be. Yeah, you're forgetting to take it and so you're doubling up the next day.

30:46 Yeah, and the relationship that I'm in, it's a pretty serious relationship. I mean, we practically live with each other and it's an older man. And I'm really not interested in getting pregnant, but you know, it's more intimate now. And sometimes things don't happen like they're supposed to. And I just need to know if I can maybe start taking it late in the night before I go to sleep. I don't go to sleep around two or three. Well, you guys just had an episode where it was like a 34 year old. He's 30, I'm 19, but it's not an unhealthy relationship at all. I'm involved in the family.

31:17 Caller Restaurant owner, restaurant owner.

31:19 The Offspring Chili's?

31:19 No, actually he's a strip club owner.

31:22 Drew That's much better, much better.

31:25 Adam It got so, you know, it's funny. It's so funny, like she's like, I'm 19. He's 30, but I know his family. It's very, very healthy. And it's like, I'm sorry. I was like, I was right there. I was like, okay, he's a good guy. And it's not, you know, it's still no law against going out against it. He's strip club owner. Now I'm picturing Jack Ruby. Yeah.

31:50 Drew Here's the deal. It doesn't matter what time of day you take it as long as you take it at the same time every day.

31:56 Caller I also have another question. I'm a frequent marijuana smoker. And I heard that that can trigger, you know, the pill that it's defect, like it can affect it.

32:06 Drew I'm not sure. I'm not sure I can answer that question accurately. I've not seen where that has been well studied. Almost anything can affect the pill. Are you overweight?

32:15 Caller No, no, you can't dance and can't dance and be a lard ass dancing.

32:20 Caller I don't dance. I'm a college student.

32:22 Caller Yeah.

32:24 Drew University of Arkansas.

32:25 Caller No, I go to UCA.

32:27 Adam Oh, I see.

32:28 Caller And what do you say?

32:29 Adam You don't even cocktail or anything over there.

32:32 Caller I'm sorry.

32:33 Adam You don't even cocktail at the.

32:35 Caller No, I don't want anything. No, it's not my lifestyle.

32:39 Right.

32:41 Caller I mean, I know the girls and that kind of thing, but it's not like I don't get up there. I wouldn't want to look down and like see my uncle or my dad sitting there or something, you know, waving a dollar bill. And then they realize it's their.

32:51 Right. Right.

32:52 Adam Well, they're they're they're back in the velvet room. You don't have to worry about that.

32:56 Caller What's it called?

32:57 Adam It was like Rooster T or something like crazy. Is it kind of stupid name?

33:02 Caller No, it's actually it's gentlemen.

33:04 Caller Gentlemen. That's for trying.

33:08 Drew You might really want to think about getting on the patch or perhaps one of the shot versions of the birth control such as Depo Provera. I think the patch might be the best choice for you. Just change it once a week.

33:18 Adam Who decided by the way, I noticed traveling around especially in San Francisco, going to the red light district and everything, who decided that the official color of porn was purple? Do you know what I mean, like all the strip club signs, there was some lavender, purply, it's like black and purple, so it's kind of black light stuff, but you don't see a lot of taupes. You know what I'm saying, it's not tan, you don't see a lot of earth tones, not a lot of British racing green and stuff like that. It's always that sort of purply pinky kind of thing.

33:58 Drew The first notion that comes to mind historically for me is like 19th century old west, right? The whore houses would all be purple.

34:06 Adam Purple velvet and hats with feathers.

34:10 Drew Maybe a throwback to that.

34:11 Adam No, I'm cool. Let's hear an Offspring song, yeah?

34:15 Drew Is Dexter still here?

34:16 The Offspring Cool. There he is. Just chilling out, just checking it all out, this is great.

34:21 Adam Off the CD Splinter and wait a minute, first song we're going to hear is called Hit That. Splendor, name of the new CD. Dexter's here. We'll take a quick break.

37:22 Drew But first announce that the winner of the Cabin Fever promotion is Ryan Sargent, 19 from Portland, Oregon.

37:27 Adam Oh, it is a guy.

37:28 Drew He is going. He the winner. Ryan Sargent. He will be going for an ultimate ski vacation in Whistler, air ferry, lift tickets and a cabin. Oh, he's got a good time.

37:38 Caller Yeah.

37:40 Adam Maybe Dexter will fire up the citation.

37:43 Adam We'll be right behind him.

37:44 Drew Can I make it all the way to Vancouver?

37:46 Caller Oh, yeah.

37:46 Drew That's nice.

37:47 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

38:14 Adam Phone number 1-800-LLV-E-191.

38:19 Adam Dexter's here, by the way, from the Offspring tonight.

38:23 Adam And... Oh, okay.

38:26 Adam All right. Hey, everybody.

38:28 Adam What are we doing now?

38:29 Adam Going to the phones.

38:31 Drew Do you want to talk about the upcoming week?

38:33 Adam I do. I do.

38:36 Drew It seemed to be where you were going.

38:37 Adam It is. It is.

38:38 Adam It was.

38:39 Adam Kevin Nealon's coming in here.

38:41 Adam Very funny man, Kevin Nealon.

38:43 Drew Jeff Probst.

38:43 Adam Tough to get a read on, but very funny guy. The girls of the lingerie bowl are coming in here.

38:50 Drew What the hell is that?

38:51 Adam Oh, weren't you here when Angie Everhart was talking about that lingerie bowl?

38:55 Drew Kind of. Oh, yeah, they're playing football in lingerie or something.

38:59 Adam Yeah, you heard sports and boobs. You tuned right out. No talk of Beethoven or slide rulers. Drew drifted right over. I was listening with three ears. I actually can use my asshole as a third ear if something is interesting enough.

39:13 Drew You suck in information.

39:14 Adam I can ingest information through my anus if it's exciting enough topics.

39:19 Caller This is it, huh?

39:20 Adam And between football and lingerie and chicks and bean dip, that was enough to get the anus to dilate, just enough to take in that information.

39:30 Caller And then Jeff Probst from Survivor.

39:33 Adam Jeff Probst, who does a wonderful job on Survivor and Survivor, sort of the granddaddy of the reality shows, by far the best, incredibly compelling television. And I kiss a lot of ass, Drew, but this is worthy ass to kiss.

39:50 Drew You're genuine in your ass, you mean it.

39:54 Adam I will say this. I don't think I've missed a Survivor episode in the history of the show.

40:00 Caller Wow.

40:01 Adam Maybe a couple in the very first season, but from that point on, no, incredibly compelling.

40:07 Caller Wow.

40:07 Adam Very well done, that show.

40:09 Drew And then Aisha Tyler's coming in next week.

40:11 Adam That's right.

40:12 Caller All right.

40:13 Adam Where is we? Drew, you gotta watch Survivor. What's a matter with you?

40:19 Drew I hate reality TV, even the good ones. I watched The Apprentice a little bit last week. Which I thought was a good premise, a good idea.

40:28 Adam Well, it can get uncomfortable. No, I don't like all those sort of bachelor things and stuff where somebody's constantly dumping somebody or a guy spills his heart and the chick says no thanks or vice versa. I get uncomfortable with that. But when you got a bunch of guys doing a challenge where they're out there in the ocean and they're trying to compete against nature and that kind of stuff, it's interesting.

40:48 Drew It is interesting. And I could go for a couple episodes of it, but beyond that, then I think life is too short.

40:53 Adam I'm gonna have to tell Greg you think his show sucks. Jeff? I mean, Jeff.

40:57 Drew Yeah, okay. Who's not Greg?

40:58 Adam Oh, he's the standup. Yeah, Jeff is the guy with the choker.

41:02 Caller Yeah.

41:04 Adam Jeff. And then you can tell him I called him Greg.

41:06 Caller I will.

41:07 Caller All right.

41:08 Adam Dez?

41:10 Caller Yeah?

41:11 Adam You're 16?

41:12 Caller Mm-hmm.

41:13 Adam What's up?

41:16 Caller I have a big problem with hair, and I was wondering how I could go about asking my boyfriend to shave his testicles.

41:23 Caller Mm-hmm.

41:24 Adam How old is he?

41:26 Drew What do you hope to achieve by him doing that?

41:29 Caller I don't know. It just bugs me.

41:34 Adam Where are you at right now, Des?

41:36 Caller Orange County.

41:37 Caller A little party going on in the background there?

41:42 Caller No, not really. Just hanging out with my friends.

41:44 Adam Mm-hmm.

41:45 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

41:46 Adam There's a little bogus smell to this call.

41:48 Drew Oh, yeah.

41:49 Adam Because first off, 16-year-old guys don't have sack hair problems.

41:53 Adam Mm-hmm, this one does.

41:55 Caller Yeah, you're just beginning.

41:58 Adam You know what you look like at 16? Your head looks like, remember what Ed Asner's head used to look like in Mary Tyler Moore?

42:05 Adam Just a little, just something going on there.

42:08 Adam Now I'm Gabe Carter. Gabe Kaplan, I should say, down there. So I got my welcome back codder and my Gabe Kaplan whipped up together. But the point is, the hair starts kicking in. At 16, you shouldn't have a whole lot.

42:23 Drew You guys are super hairy very, very. But she should be complaining about his hair everywhere, not just on his testicles. But the phone call was turned up in the background. We can hear a little giggling there. That's not.

42:34 Adam But look, what do you do?

42:36 Adam You just, you know, you're prune down there. And this is why most of these.

42:39 Drew Women have done this forever. Guys should sort of get on this.

42:42 Adam Yes, women have been shaving their balls for eternity. Yes, Drew?

42:46 Drew Yes, for eternity. As long as they've had balls.

42:48 Adam Right. Let's, I say before, Arsh.

42:54 What's up?

42:55 Adam You're 20?

42:56 Caller Yes, sir.

42:57 Adam What's happening?

42:58 Caller Dexter, how you doing?

43:00 The Offspring Hey, hey, good man. How's it going?

43:01 Caller I can't believe I'm actually talking to you. Dude, you've been like my favorite songwriter since I was a kid. And I love your music so much, dude. I've idolized you for such a long time. And you know, in a way I really look up to you, man. Your songs are amazing.

43:13 The Offspring All right, thanks a lot, man. I appreciate that.

43:15 Caller Seriously, I wanted to ask you what motivates you to write your music and do your songs, you know, consist of personal experiences you've gone through in life?

43:26 Adam Well, they ain't giving away those jets. So just gotta keep the cash.

43:30 Caller Oh, come on, man.

43:31 Adam All right, no, go ahead.

43:33 The Offspring Can we do this? Is this a love question or what? Are we cool? It can be anything, you know, sometimes it's just dumb stuff you see on TV. You know, reality TV would be a great source of inspiration for that kind of stuff. But I kind of can't stand it either, except for, I don't know, there are certain shows I'll watch.

43:49 Drew Watching them is different than liking it. You know what I mean? It's interesting to watch once in a while, but to think the TV is being consumed by that is incredibly disturbing to me.

43:58 The Offspring Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I'm not really into Survivor either, but sorry, Adam. No offense here, but.

44:03 Drew No offense meant.

44:07 Adam It's a really good show. You would, listen, Jack, remember?

44:11 Drew Okay, don't point your finger at me.

44:12 Adam Oh no, how dare you?

44:13 The Offspring How dare you?

44:13 Adam Listen, I told you The Family Guy was a great show about five years ago.

44:17 Adam You gave me the, yeah, I've seen a couple of them.

44:20 Adam Now you come in and bug me about how good The Family Guy is. So just quiet down and listen to me.

44:24 The Offspring I like it if it has like the train wreck factor to it. I don't know, American Idol's kind of like that where you're just kind of waiting for something bad to happen. You know, Apprentice has that one awful guy that they keep on the show because he's keeping it entertaining. Oh, they did?

44:37 Caller How you guys like that Average Joe show?

44:39 The Offspring Yeah, like that. That's a good one. That's quality.

44:42 Adam Yeah, the chick's hot.

44:43 Caller Oh yeah.

44:44 The Offspring Yeah. But anyway, poor guy didn't answer his question, but it can be anything like that. It could be a personal experience. Sometimes it's things that have happened to me or other people I know. There's a song on this record called Spare Me the Details. It's about a friend of mine whose girlfriend cheated on him. And you know, her friend, it told him all the, it was bad enough that this had happened, but she had to go into all the gory details, you know, that just happened at the party. The guys, my friend's girlfriend was at a party and got drunk and ended up in a bedroom with some guy. And so one of my friend's friends narked on her. But it wasn't just that, hey, I'm sorry, I got something bad to tell you, you know, someone so cheating on you last night. She was like, oh man, you know, you could hear him and-

45:28 Drew She, it was a female, she liked him.

45:31 The Offspring Yeah, and you know, they only had one rubber, so they had to use it twice and it was going on and on. Yeah, so I was like, there's a song in here somewhere, so I wrote the song called Spare Me the Details.

45:42 Adam Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a bad gene a lot of the ladies have. Guys have many bad qualities, but this usually isn't one of them.

45:51 The Offspring Yeah, this is.

45:51 Adam But women love this, they love it. My wife shows up to work.

45:55 Adam Did you hear Adam on the radio last night?

45:58 Adam No, he was really coming on to this girl. Bitches with their big fat mouths, trying to ruin everyone's day, you know? And I love that, I just love it how it falls on a heading of, I thought you should know, I wanted you to know. I didn't want you to hear it from, hear it from who? Some other C, you C's. Kill yourselves, you chatty Cathy's, you big mouths, idiots. All you're doing is effing up people's lives. You'll drive me nuts with that. Did you know? I didn't even say anything to anybody. You get the world's worth haircut or put on 70 pounds. God bless you. It's your business. What is that with women?

46:40 Drew I don't know.

46:40 Adam Trying to screw them over all the time.

46:42 Drew That is an impulse.

46:43 Adam They hate each other. And they're worried about us. Women are always worried about what's the man doing. Meanwhile, you guys can't stop effing each other.

46:51 Drew But that is that dual standard thing. That's how they maintain the double standard. They complain that men create, women maintain it this way.

46:58 Adam Yes.

46:58 Caller It's like, you should stay away from her.

47:00 Drew You should see what she's doing.

47:01 Caller Oh, she's into this.

47:02 Adam Women kick the crap out of each other and backstab each other and sabotage each other and then say, why are men holding us back?

47:09 Drew Yes.

47:10 Adam Thank you very much. Look, we're just beating off trying to watch a little sports center. Leave us out of it. You guys could kill yourselves over there. Dexter's here from Offspring, yes, that's right.

47:23 Adam And I've said, I had a lot of words in my head.

47:26 Adam I was thinking about Survivor, yeah, Citation. That wouldn't be bad for a little side project, Citation. Okay, take a quick break. We'll be right back. Yeah.

47:37 The Offspring All right, guys, here's the deal. Looking to hook up, call the Dateline.

47:41 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

47:42 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:43 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:45 The Offspring Call the Dateline.

47:46 Caller One eight seven seven eight eight nine.

47:50 Caller You know what I'm saying, I'm dead?

47:52 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

48:24 Adam There, buddy, it's Loveline, I'm Adam.

48:26 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Whose voice was that? That wasn't Anderson, was it? Where's Anderson? Oh, where's Anderson?

48:35 Drew I don't know, where's Anderson? Chris?

48:37 Caller Chris, nobody knows. And Anderson?

48:40 Adam I bet that guy out front who told me Rodman wasn't coming in tonight.

48:43 Drew He knows where Anderson is.

48:44 Caller I bet you.

48:44 Adam Go find out where Anderson is. Maybe he's with Rodman.

48:48 Caller Could be.

48:48 Adam All right. Dexter's here tonight from the offspring. Flyboy Dexter is here tonight. I gave the phone number. Here's something else off the offspring new CD.

49:01 Drew I want to hear a spare me the details.

49:03 The Offspring Hey, let's play that too.

49:05 Adam All right.

49:05 The Offspring You know, what do we got here guys? It can't get my head around you that we're playing next.

49:08 Adam Yep. That's the second song, but you know, you can play whatever you want. You're the captain.

49:14 The Offspring Oh, you know, let's play this one first. And if we have time, people will play that one after that.

49:17 Adam What do you think of John Travolta? Poser, real captain, real pilot?

49:23 The Offspring I think so. I think he's got a lot of hours. He bought an old 707, which is a really, really old plane. So he got it relatively cheap for like a million bucks. And then he had, and then he put in like 15 million to make it all rad on the inside. So yeah, a different route.

49:38 Adam Yeah.

49:39 Caller That's a 707. Is that a rear engine or is that a?

49:42 The Offspring No, four on the wings.

49:46 Adam He flew like a leg for Qantas or something.

49:50 The Offspring He's like a spokesperson.

49:51 Adam Yeah. He's still screwing around. I mean, it's just a regular pilot.

49:54 The Offspring Yeah. He's serious. Kenny G also.

49:57 Caller Oh, really?

49:58 The Offspring Yeah. Yeah.

50:00 Adam Oh, I was just telling Drew the other night how I hate that faggity, piccolo he plays. He calls it a saxophone. It's the world's gayest saxophone. And I was yelling at Drew, does anyone like this music?

50:11 Drew And we said no.

50:12 Adam Drew decided no. We came to collusion with no. And listen, I'm not making fun of Kenny G. Because it's important to make fun of Kenny G. You're popular to make fun of Kenny G. You should make fun of Kenny G. Yeah. Yes. Of course. Yeah. All right.

50:25 Adam Let's talk to Christina. Christina.

50:28 Adam You're 15.

50:29 Caller Yeah.

50:29 Adam What's up?

50:31 Caller I was wondering if depression pills could affect your sex drive.

50:36 Drew Absolutely. That's one of the most common and frequently complained of side effects, particularly Prozac and Zoloft. Those are the two that really shut things down.

50:45 Adam What do you got going there, Christina?

50:46 Caller You still sound depressed, though, Christina, whenever you're taking.

50:49 Caller What?

50:51 Drew Sorry, baby. You still sound kind of depressed, whatever it is you're taking. It doesn't sound like it's kicking in.

50:55 Caller Oh, well, I haven't been taking it that long.

50:59 Drew Yeah, it could take two weeks to get a maximal effect, but, you know, you should be at least not miserable.

51:05 Adam What kind of sex drive do you have at 15? Do you have a boyfriend?

51:10 Caller I did, but we're not really dating anymore.

51:14 Adam Well, look, life's not all that bad, baby doll. All right.

51:19 Drew That was convincing.

51:20 Adam All right, do what you want. Here's the thing about being depressed. When you're depressed, I've found from our calls, you are depressed all the time. You can't pull it together for 10 seconds on the radio. As a matter of fact, I think it's better that people know you're depressed. It almost becomes a cadence. It's a sort of part of your depression is letting the world know how depressed you are. I like people that, you know, I like that, you know, the tears of a clown kind of thing. I like people to smile and put a happy face on for me. Just do a little bit of dancing, then you go home and cry. You know what I mean?

51:50 Drew Yeah, and to the extent that people make you feel their feelings, that's sort of a primitive quality that people maintain sometimes called projective identification, where they have to put their feelings in you in order to manage them.

51:59 Adam How much of, how many depressed people are angry and depressed?

52:05 Drew Oh, irritability is the number one symptom of depression.

52:09 Adam Yeah, but it's, is it?

52:10 Drew Hostility is a character problem.

52:13 Adam Yeah, but I mean irritability, I've talked to many depressed people where at first they're depressed, but there's a lot of hostility or rage or anger or something that's beneath that surface.

52:27 Drew With depression, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, often rage.

52:29 Adam Let me tell you why you kids shouldn't be depressed. I was just at home watching a little TiVo this evening and caught up on some, I don't know, 48 Hours or 2020 or whatever the hell I was watching. I watched all those magazine shows, did a little story on teenage prostitution in some of these Asian countries, Laos and Vietnam and Cambodia and all this. And the hot trend in Cambodia is kids, not 13, seven, five, okay? And these kids, I mean, such incredible poverty, take these kids away from their families. Their families just sort of spit them out. They give them up, they don't have any money. And seven year olds and whole groups of them, six year olds, seven, eight year old girls, they're prostitutes. And they just sort of keep them somewhere and rich American and European and Asian businessmen swing into town. And it's like, hey, I got myself a hankering for a seven year old. Maybe I'll get a couple. And that's their life. Really? Now listen, I know you're living in Idaho and your moped broke down and the Britney Spears last effort was a little disappointing. So you're not feeling as good as you could, but you could be in a goddamn thatched hut on the Ho Chi Minh Trail, sucking off some Asian guy for a couple of nickels at the age seven. You could be, you know, you see what I'm saying?

54:06 The Offspring Putting it in perspective.

54:08 Adam Putting it in perspective. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, and by the way, as we know, and of course they never really touch on this. And by the way, listen all you crappy countries out there, like to point your finger at the US. What are you guys doing about this stuff? How come the US is always the one that seems to be trying to intervene with these situations?

54:31 Adam What, have they got oil money over there we want?

54:33 Adam What do you want to do with those seven year olds? You know, ring them like a sponge and get a little more fuel for our SUVs or maybe it's just the right thing to do. Maybe once in a while, with all the things that this country does that's wrong, we do things that are right every once in a while. Like when six year olds are getting aft, we like to go in and see what we can do about it. Yeah, where's everyone else? Where's all the Middle Eastern countries or? Where the French? Yeah, where the French, well, where the French? The point is, where is everyone else? There's always a point in the finger, big bad America. How come it's always us who has to slide in and do these things? Thank you. But anyway, you guys could all be there for not the grace of God, you could be there. Yes, sir? Mm-hmm. Oh my God, and by the way, do we need to have a trial for the guy who has the hankering for the multiple six and seven year olds or can we just put a bullet in his head right on the spot? Is that fine? We need to tie up the court system, paperwork, stenographers, we just put a bullet in that guy's head. And by the way, do him a favor and put a bullet in his head. I mean, if you're a guy and you like six year olds, you need a bullet in your head. Like in those zombie movies. Like in the zombie movies where I tell you, we're all trapped in the studio and they're like, there's zombies, they're out there. They're waiting for Rodman. If I go out there, I'm gonna try to make a run. I'm gonna try to get to the airport. I'm trying to get Dexter's plane. But if one of them gets me, I need you to put me down. For me. So I don't attack you and I don't want to be one of them.

56:07 Drew Same idea.

56:07 Adam Same thing. Are we doing the guy a favor?

56:10 Drew Yeah.

56:10 Caller All right.

56:11 Drew According to cinematic convention, yes.

56:14 Adam I am the zombie who needs to be put down.

56:17 Drew Every zombie movie's got that guy.

56:18 Adam I love that conversation. No man, I can't do it.

56:21 Do it man!

56:22 Adam I grab you by the lapels.

56:23 Adam You got you man.

56:25 Let you just save for you.

56:29 Adam And then there's that weird part where I come back, there's a little blood on me and my hair's frazzled. I couldn't make it to John Wayne Airport, man. And then a part a little bit later on where I open my eyes to turn a little different color. Now you know it's time. And it's tough cause your hand's shaking as you're holding the gun down.

56:47 Caller We just lost the color.

56:50 The Offspring Couldn't take it anymore.

56:51 Adam Maybe he was a zombie, his friend mercifully put him down.

56:55 Caller Could have been.

56:56 Adam Marla?

56:58 Caller Yeah.

56:58 I have a peeing problem. All right, Dr. Drew, this has been going on for at least, since I can remember, since I was in like seventh or eighth grade, and I'm 26 now. I don't have like a loose bladder problem where if I sneeze or cough, it leaks. So there's none of that. But it can take me up to like 20 minutes to a half an hour to finish peeing because there'll be the initial like normal person pee where a bunch of fluid comes out. But then I have to sit there and I know there's more because I can feel that tingly sensation that would tell a normal person they had to pee. And it'll take like, there'll be like four or five different spurts where a little bit more will come out and a little bit more and a little bit more.

57:47 Drew Are you on any medication?

57:48 No.

57:49 Drew And have you had this evaluated?

57:51 Yes. Well, I've asked doctors about it when I've been for other things and they, you know, they'll test me for diabetes.

57:57 Drew No, no, no, no. You got to see a urologist. There's something wrong with either your bladder muscular function or your urethra. There's something there.

58:04 I feel like it's a urethra thing.

58:06 Drew Yeah, you may have a little urethrostenosis or fold or something. There's all kinds of little things can go wrong. Really? Yeah, there may be something wrong with your bladder. It just creates this constant irritation. And so if they go in there, they dilate it.

58:18 It kind of feels like they're like whatever flap it is between the bladder and the urethra doesn't close when it should. And it's just straight down instead of waiting until it's full.

58:28 Drew It's called the detrusor muscle. And there may be a doubt in your mind of the way your bladder lowers or the angle of the bladder. And these are all things that can be corrected. And sometimes there's an inflammation in the bladder, something called interstitial cystitis. I have a kind of funky question. Do you do a lot of bike riding or spinning? No, we don't do anything like that. You see a urologist and one that particularly specializes in women. And that should be something that can be taken care of.

58:50 Caller All right, we got a question for Dexter over here. Christy? Yes. You're 15?

58:57 Drew I thought I would have finished peeing and she hasn't done anything about it. Come on. I'm still thinking about Marla who pees for half an hour every day and doesn't go get that thing carried.

59:05 Adam Half hour, but you know, like-

59:07 Drew For three minutes.

59:08 Adam It's like your son thought he was calling you back an hour later and you call back 18 minutes later. Christy, and you should be yelling at him, by the way.

59:14 Caller You got hit the boy with a ruler.

59:16 Drew My father did that.

59:18 Adam Christy?

59:25 Caller Thanks.

59:26 Drew And Christy lives in Sun Valley.

59:29 Caller Oh.

59:29 Drew Must be beautiful in Sun Valley.

59:32 Adam Yeah, it's gorgeous.

59:33 Drew Sun Valley, California, not Idaho. Are you in Idaho?

59:38 No, I'm in California.

59:39 Adam Yeesh. All right, listen, listen, you live in Sun Valley. People in Van Nuys make fun of you. That's bad. That's a, that's-

59:47 Drew Ooh, and she smokes a lot of pot, too.

59:49 Caller You have to. I won't let you.

59:52 No. Okay, I just had a question for Dexter.

59:55 The Offspring Oh, yeah, hey.

59:58 Hey, okay, Offscreen is my favorite band in the world and I'm really looking forward to seeing you guys live and I just wanna know when you guys are gonna be coming to LA and what songs from Splinter are you guys gonna be playing?

1:00:10 Caller Oh, right on.

1:00:12 The Offspring Well, thanks. First of all, that's really nice. You know, we did Acoustic Christmas for Gay Rocks. We played in LA last month.

1:00:19 Caller You guys were awesome.

1:00:20 The Offspring Oh, cool, thanks. And we're gonna be going to Europe to do a tour for about a month, next month, and we come back to do US stuff like in the spring. So I don't think we have an actual date yet, but I would guess we'd be in LA in April.

1:00:33 Drew Now, when you tour, do you take your plane?

1:00:35 The Offspring In the US. I do.

1:00:36 Drew Yeah.

1:00:36 The Offspring Yeah, for sure.

1:00:37 Drew You take the band around that.

1:00:38 The Offspring Yeah, well, you know, Noodles likes to be on the bus. You know, everyone has their own thing, you know.

1:00:42 Drew He doesn't like to trust you.

1:00:44 The Offspring Yeah, I don't know why. No, I don't know.

1:00:47 Adam But- How do you do that with, what's the maximum range of your plane, by the way?

1:00:51 The Offspring It'll go halfway across the country before you stop for fuel.

1:00:55 Caller Right.

1:00:56 Adam They don't call it gas, by the way. They call it fuel.

1:00:58 Caller Oh, sorry, yeah, gas.

1:00:59 Adam No, it's fuel. Yeah, because like I said, I think when we flew one of those to New Orleans, Louisiana, we had to stop to-

1:01:09 The Offspring I brought you a picture. That's for you guys.

1:01:11 Caller Fantastic.

1:01:12 Adam Yep, that's the plane.

1:01:13 Drew That's the plane, yeah.

1:01:14 Adam That's beautiful. Now, is this a picture of the plane flying or is this someone, you flying or?

1:01:20 The Offspring I actually wasn't there that day, but yeah.

1:01:22 Adam That's your plane.

1:01:23 Drew Your plane.

1:01:23 The Offspring Yeah, yeah, that's it, yeah.

1:01:24 Adam Yeah. Now, is this is your actual plane?

1:01:27 The Offspring Yeah.

1:01:27 Caller Who the hell took the picture?

1:01:30 The Offspring A chase plane, yeah, a little chase plane line.

1:01:32 Adam What's on the, what's on the tail there?

1:01:35 The Offspring It's an anarchy sign.

1:01:36 Wow.

1:01:38 The Offspring Really?

1:01:38 Yeah. Wow.

1:01:40 The Offspring Gotta keep it public. Keep it real. Exactly. You know, a lot of guys, you know, the business suit guys, you know, they'll put like a palm tree on their plane or whatever, something really dumb and so, you know.

1:01:51 Adam Yeah. You know, we're talking about, we were talking earlier how all winners are guys. When you refer to a winner, you say, he, you know, Drew thought I was giving away the winner.

1:02:00 Drew From the plane.

1:02:00 Adam And a girl, boats are always a she. Planes are them.

1:02:05 Drew Oh, really?

1:02:06 Adam Them.

1:02:06 The Offspring Yeah, you don't really do the female thing with planes.

1:02:09 Adam No, you do. If it holds over like a hundred people, turns into a chick.

1:02:14 Drew The ship then.

1:02:15 Adam Yeah. Fighter planes aren't chicks, but spruce screws, that's a chick. See what I'm saying? Wow, that's a beautiful looking plane.

1:02:23 The Offspring All right, thanks. No, but you know, we're gonna be playing some new songs when we do our tour. And you know, we haven't talked about it too much yet. We'll play, hit that of course, and probably can't get my head around you. And-

1:02:32 Drew Spare me the details.

1:02:34 The Offspring Maybe spare me the details, I don't know, we'll see. But yeah, it's fun to play your new stuff. And we're excited to get out there and do it.

1:02:40 Drew I think we better hear some of that new stuff.

1:02:42 The Offspring Yeah.

1:02:42 Drew That was a perfect-

1:02:44 Adam It would have been.

1:02:45 The Offspring I was giving you guys a-

1:02:45 Adam If I didn't want to talk more about this plane.

1:02:47 Drew I know, you could talk about during the song, though.

1:02:49 Caller All right, all right. All right, good.

1:02:51 Adam Let's hear something else from the Offspring off of Splinter. It's called, Can't Get My Head Around You. Thank you.

1:05:15 Caller Very fascinated in Dexter's flying, flying jet.

1:05:18 Drew Citation 541X, climate maintain 370.

1:05:22 Adam Now, what is one of these jets run? You don't have to tell us what you paid for it. You just say, how much would I pay for this jet?

1:05:30 The Offspring Oh, I, you know, I don't know. It really depends. The sky's the limit, you know? Some of the really, really big ones are like 40, 50 million dollars and stuff.

1:05:37 Adam Gulfstream stuff. But now, what about this jet? What can I pick this jet up for?

1:05:40 The Offspring I'm not going to tell you how much that costs.

1:05:42 Adam I'll get on the internet and find it out.

1:05:45 Adam I mean, I won't, but young Chris will get on the internet and find out what, okay. Drew, I'm looking at this jet. It's, you can't get a jet for under two and a half, three million bucks, can you? What do you think?

1:06:01 Drew I have no idea.

1:06:02 Adam You have to guess, though. That's the game.

1:06:03 Drew 25.

1:06:04 Adam That seems a little light. Seems a little light. I'm going, I'm going, I'm thinking, you know, I'm thinking more in the three.

1:06:11 Drew Really?

1:06:11 Adam More in the three range. Yeah?

1:06:13 The Offspring You know, I'm not sure.

1:06:15 Adam Who's closer? It's got, I'm closer, right? And none of this going over crap. It's whoever's closer. I don't know who decided. You know, you go nickel over. Well, you lose. The guy who says $700 grand off, he wins.

1:06:26 The Offspring Price is right. Yeah. You know, over the break, I saw Rodney in the other room, he's coming on next to stuff and I just want to say really fast that it was really cool seeing him again because he was the first guy to ever play us on the radio.

1:06:37 Caller Rodney Bingenheimer.

1:06:38 The Offspring This is back before here, before Burbank. It was in Pasadena when bands literally did go to the back door during his show and hand him his record. And we had pressed our own little seven inch. I'd heard this story about how you can actually go and hand your record to the DJ.

1:06:53 Caller Really?

1:06:53 The Offspring Did you go into the control room? Well, no.

1:06:55 Drew Do you remember that control room? Did you ever see it?

1:06:57 The Offspring I never did, actually. They answered the door. He didn't answer the door himself, but one of his guys did. And I said, hi, I'm from the offspring.

1:07:05 Drew Probably Billy back in those days.

1:07:07 The Offspring Please give him this record.

1:07:09 Adam What was the song?

1:07:10 The Offspring It was called I'll Be Waiting. It was a little seven inch that we pressed ourselves.

1:07:13 Adam And how do you do that?

1:07:15 The Offspring You just, you go through like the recycler and find a place that does it. You know, we could only afford a thousand of them or whatever, but I gave it to him and I was driving, driving back home and within an hour he goes, hey, I just got this song by Spank All The Offspring. Let's put it on.

1:07:30 Adam This is double Godhead, maybe triple.

1:07:34 The Offspring That was great.

1:07:35 Adam And they're playing you on the radio.

1:07:36 The Offspring And they're playing on the radio, yeah, literally within an hour and stuff. And just, you know, that never happens. And that was the coolest thing.

1:07:42 Drew That was the day.

1:07:43 Adam Drew, we gotta get, we gotta do that.

1:07:45 Drew Start doing that?

1:07:46 Adam We gotta press something.

1:07:48 Adam Gotta go back door with Rodney.

1:07:50 The Offspring So thanks for Rodney.

1:07:51 Adam All right, well, I don't know where he is right now, but he's around here. You can shake his hand, he'll be in the halls. We'll take a quick break. Dexter's here from the offspring. I'm gonna find out how much a jet costs, and I will not tell you people. I will find out.

1:08:06 Adam And we'll be right back after this.

1:08:18 Caller Loveline is brought to you by Trojan, America's number one condom. The most trusted for over 80 years.

1:08:44 Adam Dexter's here from the offshore.

1:08:46 Adam A bit of a little panic, we're in the other room doing a little recording, and we saw Chris run.

1:08:53 Adam And when you see Chris run, it's really, it puts the fear of God in you. When engineer Chris starts running for the door, that's trouble.

1:09:00 Drew You know it means something.

1:09:01 Adam It's kind of like the first time I heard my dad say MF-er. Yeah, I knew he meant, he let the MF-er fly. Oh, no, he let the C sucker go. And I remember thinking, wow, he means business.

1:09:20 The Offspring Parents save those ones for special occasions.

1:09:22 Adam They do, and once in a while, just freak the kid out when the serious profanity comes sailing past the lips. All right, offspring, CD, what else? Splinter, and let's take some calls, some calls, yes. Cause that's the show.

1:09:41 Drew Yeah, as you can see Dexter, that's the show.

1:09:43 Adam I'm not getting into talking. It's about the calls, it's about the callers.

1:09:48 Caller Shana?

1:09:49 Caller Yeah?

1:09:50 Caller You're 18?

1:09:51 Caller Yes, I am.

1:09:52 Adam What's up?

1:09:54 Caller Well, I've been dating my boyfriend for three months now, and I kind of have a problem. We just recently started having sex in the last month, and I always need to hear a celebrity's voice in order to get off, and it's really kind of a problem.

1:10:10 Drew A particular one?

1:10:11 Caller There's a couple of them, like Anthony Kiedis from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Steven Seagal, another one of them. And we always have to have sex over at my house and my apartment so I can play either a DVD or my CDs in the background, or otherwise I still want to have sex.

1:10:35 Adam This sounds bizarre and sort of untrue.

1:10:37 Drew Where do you get a CD of these guys just talking?

1:10:42 Adam Well, do you have to have Anthony Kiedis singing?

1:10:46 Caller Oh no, I mean it's not necessarily even him that I need. There's several different people that'll do it for me.

1:10:52 Adam Well, you got Seagal, who else?

1:10:55 Caller Kevin Spacey's another one, Norm Macdonald. You know, I like all of those guys.

1:11:02 Adam And you will not have an orgasm without the sound of their voice?

1:11:07 Caller Well, it depends. I mean, I used to date a guy that had a nice voice that actually turned me on, so I didn't really need that. But the guy that I'm dating right now, he has kind of a high whiny voice and it doesn't do it for me.

1:11:19 Drew It's the beauty of guys too. It's like, yeah, whatever you need.

1:11:23 Caller Sure.

1:11:23 Adam What do you want me to do?

1:11:24 Caller You want me to kill my parents?

1:11:26 Drew Okay, done.

1:11:29 Adam Alright, so this is weird. Anybody, how about Drew or me or Dexter? I mean, we're all quasi-celebrities. Nothing?

1:11:39 Caller No, it's not even the fact that they're celebrities. It's just that their particular voices just do something really good.

1:11:44 Drew But they're all different kinds of voices though.

1:11:47 Adam And I get mistaken for Norm MacDonald on occasion. It happens.

1:11:52 Caller Maybe then I should start listening to you a little more.

1:11:54 Adam It'd be nice.

1:11:55 The Offspring You should work then.

1:11:56 Caller Yeah.

1:11:58 Caller But the problem is, anyway, I, it's been about a month now that we've been having sex and he's starting to think that it's weird that we're doing it at my house all the time and that I always have to have something recorded in the background.

1:12:09 Adam Well, do you think about the guy whose voice is entering your ears or are you just hearing the voice?

1:12:17 Caller Well, it's the voice and thinking about the person.

1:12:20 Caller So, I mean, you're thinking about Norm MacDonald.

1:12:23 Caller Yeah, or whoever it is.

1:12:24 Adam Steven Seagal.

1:12:26 Caller Right, Steven Seagal.

1:12:27 Drew All right, so it really is not their voice. It's just the fantasy with one of these guys.

1:12:33 Adam It's like saying, I have to hear the voice of a porn star when I'm receiving oral from my girl. It's like, no, you like to watch porn while you're getting sucked off. That's what you like to do.

1:12:45 The Offspring But why is Norm MacDonald in this list? I don't understand that one.

1:12:50 Adam He has a certain quirky attractiveness.

1:12:52 Drew She likes distinctive voices.

1:12:54 Adam Shana? No, but it's not so much about the voice. She likes Norm MacDonald. She's attracted to Norm MacDonald.

1:12:59 Caller I'm actually not. It's just the voice.

1:13:02 Adam But you need to see the... You're thinking about them, right?

1:13:06 Caller A little bit.

1:13:07 Drew Yeah.

1:13:07 Caller I think it's become a problem with mine.

1:13:09 Adam Are you thinking that they're having sex with you? Well, that's fantasizing about somebody else while you're with your guy.

1:13:17 Drew It's a way of distancing yourself from your actual partner. She said yeah.

1:13:21 Caller But I'm really starting to care about the person that I'm dating and I don't want this to become an issue.

1:13:26 Adam All right. Well, why don't you quit it then?

1:13:28 Caller How can I quit it?

1:13:29 Caller It doesn't do anything for me.

1:13:31 Caller I'll give you a hint.

1:13:31 Adam You can't play under siege two while your boyfriend's effing you. That's one way you can quit.

1:13:41 Drew It's just you have to stop doing it and just focus on the intimacy and see if you can get around.

1:13:45 Caller Under siege two is on a train.

1:13:46 Drew Well done.

1:13:47 Adam I was like, I want to come over the series of movies where I just come to the movie and we just have to find the modality of transportation. Like hey, first one's on a boat, second one, train, third one, RV. You know, like I don't think of the story anymore. I just got to think of where it takes place.

1:14:06 Caller Why don't you just follow the progression in the Green Eggs and Ham on a boat?

1:14:11 Adam Maybe I'll do it in this transportation progression. First one takes place on one of those bicycles with the giant front wheel.

1:14:19 Caller Oh, the historical progression.

1:14:21 Adam And the second one's a steam car and it just keeps going.

1:14:25 Caller First wheel wagon. Horstron.

1:14:28 Adam Be a rock. There's a wheel carved into it. Yeah, and then we end up with the Citation. Yeah. Commander Dexter on the flight deck. He doesn't call it the cockpit. That could be offensive. All right. Frank. Hey, people.

1:14:47 Hey.

1:14:48 Caller What's happening, Frank?

1:14:50 Adam We were doing great until you called, Frank. Now you're bringing us down.

1:14:53 All right. I'll try to correct that.

1:14:56 Caller Thank you.

1:14:56 Adam What's up?

1:14:58 Well, you guys were talking about penis curvature. We were. I think I have the problem of it pointing downward.

1:15:07 Caller All right.

1:15:10 What's the deal with that? Like is it the anatomy or what?

1:15:16 Drew Well, anatomy is a description of what you're looking at, so it would have to be the anatomy.

1:15:21 Adam It's not a force field of downward facing dorks that's in your underpants. Is it your actual penis, right? Yes.

1:15:29 Drew Yes. And is this something you've acquired as you've gotten older or has it been there all the time?

1:15:34 Well, it's actually just when it's...

1:15:38 Drew But is it something that it's always been that way?

1:15:40 Adam I was going to explain to you it's when he has a boner.

1:15:42 Drew I know.

1:15:43 Adam I'd love our collars. Go ahead, Drew.

1:15:46 Adam Let's do a Loveline reenactment.

1:15:47 Drew So your penis points downward. Has it always been that way or is it something that's developed recently?

1:15:52 Adam Well, it's only when I get a boner, I.

1:16:02 Caller Blew a Snuggie on the mic. Yeah, yeah.

1:16:05 Adam Yeah. We understand. Listen, when you don't have a boner, your penis is zero shape. Everyone's dork is the same shape minus the boner.

1:16:13 Caller Yes.

1:16:13 Adam It's the boner that brings it out.

1:16:15 Caller That's right.

1:16:15 Adam It's the same shape balloons have when they don't have aerinum.

1:16:19 Caller You don't know which one you got until you blow into it.

1:16:22 Caller That's right.

1:16:22 Adam You see what I'm saying? That's why it's important to blow. Frank?

1:16:28 Yep.

1:16:29 Drew So is this downward curve something that has evolved recently or has it always been this way, your penis?

1:16:35 It's just evolved recently.

1:16:37 Adam All right.

1:16:37 Drew So then that's something that sometimes will respond to vitamin E. Take about 800 units of vitamin E a day. If it doesn't get better, there are actually surgical interventions.

1:16:45 Adam How many units is that?

1:16:46 Adam How many is that?

1:16:46 Adam Two pills?

1:16:48 Drew There usually come at four or eight hundreds.

1:16:50 Adam So you just take a pill or two.

1:16:52 Drew Yeah.

1:16:53 Caller All right. Yeah, it's good times.

1:16:55 Drew It is good times.

1:16:55 Adam It's not going to do anything, but you take it anyway.

1:16:57 Drew No, if it's the Peyronis, the evolving thing can sometimes get better with that. No. Yeah.

1:17:02 Adam No. I'm telling you no, but you could take it anyway. And here's the other thing, too.

1:17:08 Caller Sounds like you struggle with that, Adam.

1:17:10 Adam With the Peyronis? I don't got enough.

1:17:14 Drew That's right.

1:17:16 Adam It's like a fresh stock coming out from the soil. It can't wrap itself around the trellis. It's barely picking up from the earth. Of course, it's going to go.

1:17:28 Drew That's right. Not enough to make a design yet.

1:17:31 Adam How windy can an eight-foot road be? You see what I'm saying?

1:17:36 Caller You know what I'm saying.

1:17:38 Drew Right.

1:17:40 Adam Let's keep moving forward. Ryan?

1:17:43 Yeah.

1:17:44 Adam You're 15?

1:17:45 Caller Yeah.

1:17:47 Adam Your girlfriend is a virgin and won't have sex with you?

1:17:50 Caller Yeah, because I'm not circumcised. I want to know if I should get circumcised or if I should just find someone else.

1:18:00 Adam Did she say because of that?

1:18:03 Caller Yeah.

1:18:04 Caller Well, maybe she's just not ready to have sex.

1:18:06 Drew She's using that as an excuse.

1:18:07 Adam Sounds like that's the case.

1:18:10 Caller Maybe you ought to slow down a bit.

1:18:12 Caller All right.

1:18:14 Adam Yeah. What do you guys do?

1:18:18 Caller Just foreplay stuff. Nothing real heavy.

1:18:24 Adam Nothing heavy?

1:18:25 Caller Yeah.

1:18:26 Adam How long have you been with her?

1:18:27 Caller Well, I've known her since I was a little. Our parents work together. So I've known her since I was probably about two or three.

1:18:35 Caller Right.

1:18:36 Adam How long have you been with her?

1:18:37 Caller For about a year and a half. Oh.

1:18:41 Caller All right.

1:18:41 Adam So she's been your girlfriend for a year and a half.

1:18:44 The Offspring It's a long time when you're 15.

1:18:45 Caller Would she say that too?

1:18:47 Drew Would she say a year and a half also?

1:18:50 Caller All right.

1:18:51 Adam Well, she's not ready to have sex.

1:18:56 Caller All right. All right.

1:18:57 Adam And listen, I don't know what the... Uh-uh.

1:19:01 Caller That sounds bad.

1:19:02 Adam I don't know what the statistics are on circumcision in the United States, but it was probably... It was probably, I don't know, 50 percent 10 years ago or something, wasn't it? It wasn't it on the circumcision sort of... Was there a certain point where it was crossing and becoming...

1:19:23 Caller More prevalent?

1:19:24 Adam No, no, I was going to say less prevalent or maybe it's had a resurgence in the last few years.

1:19:30 Drew I still think it's drifting.

1:19:32 Caller Drifting toward Europe?

1:19:38 Adam Listen ladies...

1:19:39 Drew Get used to it.

1:19:41 Adam Yeah, I've seen your future. There's a foreskin in it. I got a crystal ball here.

1:19:49 Drew By the way, is anyone consulted with women on this point? Because everyone's thinking they always been worried that they're being abused in childhood by having their foreskin removed.

1:19:58 Adam Wouldn't be a bad... What do you like, ladies, because that's where we're going. Yeah, that's where we're going. Same way with first date.

1:20:11 Adam What kind of food you like?

1:20:12 Adam What movie do you want to see? What do I need? What do you like, your lambskin or latex gal? What can I do to get you to spread your legs?

1:20:19 Drew And by the way, all these other a-holes can go on and leave their prepues right where it is and I'm taking my kids off on the hunch that they'll give them an edge.

1:20:26 Adam I like the idea that, I like the guys that are trying to stretch it with tape and weights and they've been traumatized. Where are those guys?

1:20:35 Adam I haven't heard about them in a while.

1:20:36 Drew Not in a while.

1:20:37 Adam They used to hear about those guys. They went... What'd they do?

1:20:40 Drew Amulphurs?

1:20:41 Adam Yeah, they got on to something else.

1:20:43 Caller Yeah.

1:20:44 Adam They always get... It's always that same breed. It's that somehow they've been wounded. It's society's fault, but it's really their mom they have the beef with, yes?

1:20:53 Caller Yes.

1:20:53 Adam They're struggling with their sexuality, putting fishing weights on what's left of their foreskin, trying to stretch it back, crunching some numbers and giving some sort of bizarre data. It's really... It's the data, people. Then they start talking about how thick the skin is on the head of your penis and how thick the skin is on guys who are uncircumcised versus... It's the same people with the 55,000 people dying of secondhand smoke. It's just a go get your data, what's your point, we'll make the data fit. Sort of like attorneys, really.

1:21:28 Adam Who doesn't like them attorneys?

1:21:31 Caller Nicole?

1:21:32 Yeah?

1:21:34 Caller You're 22?

1:21:35 Mm-hmm.

1:21:36 Adam What's up?

1:21:38 I recently got a phone call from like a telemarketer and it was actually for our phone sex line and I found out that the boyfriend, my boyfriend that I live with had a $1,500 phone sex line phone bill.

1:21:53 Adam I love it when a guy gets popped and it's not me. Any guy gets popped other than me is great. I love that. And especially because the guy probably makes $1,500 every three months, right?

1:22:05 The Offspring How many minutes is that?

1:22:06 He makes pretty good money. It's paid off already but...

1:22:10 Adam Ooh. What's he do?

1:22:12 He works... He works hard.

1:22:15 Adam Two jobs, by the way, two jobs, worse than one job and three jobs worse than two. And whenever you say, oh, this guy, he's got the world by the horns, he's got five jobs. That's always bad. I don't know why it is, but the more jobs you work, the less money you make. Maybe it's commuting. I don't know what it is.

1:22:35 So, he knows I know, but I just wanted to know, is there, because he says that it's been like a month since he's called and of course it caused a fight. And I found out, you know, my how and when he's been calling, but...

1:22:49 Adam What do you want to bet, by the way, like a month is into single digits? I mean, nine days.

1:22:54 Drew Yeah.

1:22:54 No, it's been, the people faxed me actually a list of, you know, all the times he had called. The last time was like a month ago. But I just wanted to know how, I don't know, the signs, I guess, of if it's going to happen again or...

1:23:11 Drew Oh, he's onto another service.

1:23:14 Caller It's an olive flower ear and chafing on the right hand.

1:23:16 He says that, you know, he realized that it was wrong of him to do and I kind of see it as cheating.

1:23:21 Drew It's not cheating. Guys will... It's not cheating. However, it does suggest it's suspicious for sexual addiction.

1:23:29 Caller Right. Yeah. He thinks, and after talking about it, he does think that he might have a sexual addiction to like porn.

1:23:38 Adam Well, where is he, where are you? Do you work a night shift or something and he's home during the day or...

1:23:43 Caller He works mornings and I work nights and go to school full time.

1:23:48 Adam I'll tell you, the devil makes work for idle hands. You live a guy alone in a house and I don't know, how old is he? You live a 22 year old dude with a credit card and some cable and a computer and a little spice channel, whatever. You leave that guy home all day while you're gone all day. There is a Jack Fest going on in there.

1:24:10 Caller And I'm not one of those people that thinks I know, oh guys shouldn't masturbate. Like I understand masturbation.

1:24:15 Adam Well, listen, you're here.

1:24:16 Caller But yeah, your guy may have an issue.

1:24:17 Drew This is all part of his masturbatory habits. That's all this is.

1:24:20 Caller I just want to know if there's something I can do to maybe take his attention off of calling the sex lines and maybe.

1:24:27 Drew It depends if he's an addict or not. If he had a history of sexual trauma in childhood.

1:24:32 Caller No.

1:24:33 Drew Well.

1:24:34 Adam What about what about other I'm sorry, go ahead, get a day job.

1:24:38 Drew Yeah.

1:24:39 Adam He has two jobs and he's got six hours a day to putz around the house and beat off.

1:24:44 Caller It's just he said that, you know, it's just like when he gets bored and I'm not home. And I guess he said that he just kind of goes blank and calls and doesn't think about the consequences at the time. I'm just worried that that's going to turn into.

1:24:57 Adam All right. Is he is he does he smoke weed? Is he drink?

1:25:02 Caller Did he ever when he maybe when he was like 16, but not since I've been with him, not for like three or four years.

1:25:08 Drew No, no. For sure.

1:25:10 Caller Drinks on social occasions.

1:25:12 Drew Nothing much.

1:25:12 Adam All right. Look, Andrew, I'm no doctor, but here's what I'm going to say. I think you have to let it be known that, listen, I'm cool. You want to beat off. You want to beat off. This is not about you beating off, but it's about addiction.

1:25:25 Drew It's the consequences.

1:25:26 Adam And it doesn't matter what we're talking about. Addiction is addiction. Right. And I'm not going to have the addiction part. Right.

1:25:32 Drew So that's the part we got to work on. And the question is, can he prevent the consequences? And if the consequences keep mounting, if the relationship starts having trouble, if his work fails, or he spends too much money, and he still can't stop, that's addiction. I would check out the Del Lamo Treatment Center in Torrance.

1:25:48 Adam Never beat off the phone sex once in my life. Yeah. Never had credit cards on the prompts, but hey, hey, hey.

1:25:55 Drew Phone sex seems almost antiquated with all the stuff that's out there.

1:25:58 Adam I know, to say, call me old fashioned, but just pop in a porn and go to town. I really got to be talking to s- I don't even want to talk to people I'm having sex with. That's what I do, it's like, I call up phone sex signs, like, shh, quiet down, sweetie, I'm beating off.

1:26:14 Adam I'm wearing it, shh, hey, I'm beating off.

1:26:17 Adam We can talk when you're done.

1:26:18 All right.

1:26:19 Drew When you talk about beating off, you don't always have to give the sign, the universal beat off sign.

1:26:25 Adam How are you going to know I'm talking about beating off unless my hand's doing the Yahtzee roll? Dexter's here from The Offspring. Take a quick break. Be right back.

1:26:37 Drew Hello?

1:26:51 Adam There, buddy. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dexter's here tonight from the offspring. Used to fly the remote control planes.

1:27:03 Drew You did? Used to? Since you crashed your jet, that was it, huh? Heartbreakers.

1:27:08 Adam Yeah, it's been a while, but don't worry. I'm coming back.

1:27:12 Caller Oh yeah? Yeah.

1:27:13 Drew Fly a real plane? No. No.

1:27:17 Adam Oh, if someone will let me fly their plane. You know what I want to do? It always seems pretty good is the guy takes you up and he does that whole thing. And then he goes, they always do that thing. I don't know why. Whenever you see the guy flying with the blue angels or something, they go, you got the plane. They never tell the guy like, hey, in a couple minutes they're gonna give me the plane. So he's a, hey, you're flying the plane. The guy's always surprised that he's flying. Seems like once we got straight and level, I could grab the yoke and keep us going. You know, it's just all the flaps and the gear and the knots and the trim and all that stuff. That's where the trouble comes. I feel like once we got up in the air, I could zip around a little bit. That would, have you ever done anything with like the Blue Angels or any of these groups? Been a fighter plane?

1:28:02 The Offspring Yeah, I flew an F-15 once about a year ago. I had a friend in the Air Force and he took me up and not really supposed to let me fly, but he did. So it was a blast. It was very top gun kind of. Yeah, I did a couple of rolls. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Very responsive.

1:28:18 Caller Yeah. Was it peppy? Yeah.

1:28:21 Drew If fighter plans goes.

1:28:22 The Offspring Yeah.

1:28:23 Adam Cost us $826,000. So he took it off. Uh-huh.

1:28:31 Caller It wasn't off a carrier or something, was it?

1:28:33 The Offspring No, it was in Hawaii. The International Guarding.

1:28:36 Caller I'm just curious.

1:28:37 Adam If you do, you go up and that's disappointing.

1:28:39 Drew I said it wasn't.

1:28:39 Adam It wasn't, was it? No. Okay, just off the terra firma.

1:28:44 The Offspring Yeah, it was a formation takeoff. There was another plane, so it was very cool. We're in formation and they're like three feet wingtip to wingtip. It's really crazy how close they get.

1:28:53 Adam Wow, and then once he got it up, he gave the controls over to you and you're able to...

1:28:57 The Offspring Yeah, kind of messed around in the afterburners and pulled some Gs.

1:29:02 Adam How fast did you get going on it?

1:29:05 The Offspring We did, well, he took me supersonic inverted. So yeah, we went through the sound barrier and all that.

1:29:11 Drew Does it feel differently when you go at those speeds?

1:29:13 The Offspring No, you just feel a little bump and then you're through it. Well, I really noticed, but you can see it on the speedometer.

1:29:19 Adam Bitchin. How about we just go with miles an hour and get rid of the knots, by the way.

1:29:22 Drew I got a thing in my car about us going to an aircraft carrier. A guy sent me a letter saying that he could get us on an aircraft carrier.

1:29:28 Adam You know, they're really, they're like floating cities. I don't know if you've heard that one before. Never, never.

1:29:33 Drew Have you heard of aircraft carrier?

1:29:34 Adam Dex, you ever heard it referred to as a floating city?

1:29:37 The Offspring Oh yeah, for sure.

1:29:38 Adam Yeah, I know, everyone rams it up your ass. I know they go, it's like, they got a barber shop, they got a latrine, yeah, yeah, I know. There's 3,800 dudes there. You gotta have the barber shop.

1:29:51 Caller They have medical, I don't know. City.

1:29:54 The Offspring We've never done that either. I wish we'd go together.

1:29:56 Adam I would love to go on an aircraft carrier.

1:29:59 Drew I'd rather give you that, I've got it in the car.

1:30:01 Caller All right, I would love that. Bianca?

1:30:05 Adam You're 16?

1:30:06 The Offspring Yeah.

1:30:08 Adam What's happening?

1:30:09 The Offspring Nothing, Adam, I love you, Drew, I love you, Dexter, I saw you a year ago with Offspring, it's the Huck Jam, plenty of Huck.

1:30:16 The Offspring Oh, right, cool.

1:30:18 The Offspring Yeah, it was awesome, you guys are so cool.

1:30:20 The Offspring Thanks a lot.

1:30:22 The Offspring Yeah, I'm really nervous because I'm a long time listener, like three years. Okay, so my question is, I was with my boyfriend for like a year and a half and he's Jewish, so he's circumcised. And so I learned how to give a really good BJ, you know? And we broke up, but broke up on good terms and I'm kind of in a new relationship with another guy and I haven't gotten to that point yet. But I wanna know, like, is it different with the uncircumcised guy to give a BJ?

1:30:51 Drew You mean what he needs from you?

1:30:53 The Offspring No, like, I don't know. I don't know, is it gonna be different?

1:30:56 Drew Technique, technique.

1:30:57 Adam Should she take the retainer out? Is there anything she needs to do?

1:31:01 Drew How old is she? 16.

1:31:02 Adam She's 16. 16. Well, I'll tell you what will be difference, the difference between giving the BJ to the Jewish guy and then the goyim over there. You're not gonna hear the crazy groans of praise, like, oh my god, I'm getting a beat. You know, the Jewish guy, six year old Jewish kid would rather be yelling like, oh my god, I'm getting a BJ over and over and over again. And then maybe blowing the shofar. Yes, Jara?

1:31:29 The Offspring What is the ratio of circumcised and non? Non.

1:31:32 Adam We're trying to figure this out.

1:31:34 Drew Yeah, I don't know. Those are off the top of my head.

1:31:35 The Offspring I thought it was, most people were, and nowadays.

1:31:37 Drew Most people still are, I think.

1:31:38 Adam I'd say yes. Here's the thing, Bianca. The uncircumcised, now, you don't need to do anything different.

1:31:46 Drew No.

1:31:51 Adam Right, right. No, I understand. It's like, you learn how to drive on an automatic and then one day you gotta drive your roommate's stick. You get used to a certain device. You know, the absence of a foreskin.

1:32:07 The Offspring Yeah, maybe since she's 16, she doesn't also have to worry about the relationship getting to that point. You know, maybe we can bring that up.

1:32:15 Adam And listen, ladies, guys have made it million, teenagers, millions of people without BJs.

1:32:23 Drew Throughout history.

1:32:24 Caller This is the first generation, six months.

1:32:27 Drew This is the first generation where it's even been an issue.

1:32:29 Adam I like the part now where women are sort of trying to hone their technique and, you know, little's of, you know.

1:32:37 Drew It's not women, these are girls.

1:32:38 Adam Competitions are breaking out, yeah. I mean, it just, it was not on the menu when I was in high school. If you got one, great, but it was definitely not on the menu.

1:32:50 Drew Not even a possible menu selection.

1:32:54 Adam Hey, you know, you could luck out, but I mean, you never know, the chef was in a good mood.

1:33:02 Adam Are we talking about food now?

1:33:03 Adam Yeah. Okay, sometimes I get confused. Dexter's here from The Offspring, take a quick break, we'll be right back. Well, everybody, there you go. Another fine show. I want to thank Dexter for coming in here. Thank God it wasn't Jake Busey.

1:33:57 Drew Thank God.

1:33:58 The Offspring Thanks for having me.

1:33:59 Adam Our pleasure. Always our pleasure. Love the aeronautical discussion too, by the way.

1:34:04 Drew I love that offspring.

1:34:05 Adam And a lot more to cover. We're not done with this plane talk.

1:34:09 Caller Oh no, we may be here. We may be here well into it.

1:34:12 The Offspring The pictures for you guys.

1:34:13 Caller Oh, thank you.

1:34:13 Adam We'll be here in a Kevin and Bean second break. Splinter, name of the CD, God Bless You, Dexter. Whenever you guys are in town, you come back doing dates out here, April, May, something like that.

1:34:26 The Offspring That's what it looks like in the spring, yeah.

1:34:27 Adam Come back, pay us a visit. So, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:34:37 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Engeld. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Tuesday, January 20, 2004