Episode 1000589310591

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:03 Adam Hey everybody, it's Loveline. Well, not just Loveline, the best of Loveline.

1:08 Oh, yes.

1:09 Drew Those words just ring the excitement into my body.

1:12 Adam You cannot call in because, well, you can, but there's gonna be no one to answer the phone.

1:16 Drew Right.

1:16 Adam We're all home enjoying ourselves. Yeah. All right, so enjoy the best of Loveline. Got pulled over by the cops today.

1:25 Drew Good times. What city?

1:27 Adam Hollywood.

1:29 Drew Go on.

1:31 Adam Hollywood. Well, I didn't even really get pulled over. I just got that roll your window down. We got to have a talk at the stoplight.

1:39 Drew You got the red lights.

1:40 Adam No, no, slid up next to me.

1:43 Drew Oh, you-

1:43 Adam Slid up next to me and gave me a roll the window down. I try that with hot chicks every once in a while. They don't go for it.

1:49 Drew Yeah, then they call the police.

1:50 Then I flash my fake badge.

1:53 Adam Yeah, I got, you see, here's-

1:54 Drew I don't know, keep going.

1:56 Adam Well, I, it was, the guy wanted to know how many dangerous and illegal lane changes I was planning on making like in the next quarter mile or so, because when I drive-

2:07 Drew I just know you're not a smart ass, so what'd you say back?

2:11 Adam No, I immediately went into kiss ass mode. You gotta kiss ass, everybody. Let me tell you something. Everybody, please listen. They do these specials once in a while, how to beat a ticket, how to get a cop not to write you a ticket. Best way to get a cop not to write you a ticket is to make him not want to write you a ticket because you seem like a nice guy.

2:32 Drew I have found also that they hate excuses. You gotta say, there is no excuse for my behavior.

2:37 Adam Yeah, I was wrong.

2:38 Drew You're right.

2:38 Adam Well, but this still falls under the heading of...

2:41 Drew His ass.

2:42 Adam Yeah. Here's what I mean. If you have to discipline somebody, and oftentimes we all get in this position where you have to tell somebody they can't get in line or they gotta go to the back of the line or they can't come in or they can't do this or they can't come back without their ticket stub or whatever you do, Drew, when you do that mercy killing stuff you do at the hospital or whatever it is. Nobody wants to do something they don't wanna do to someone they like. Right. It's much easier to do it to an A-hole. And you're looking for an excuse as emotionally to do it. Right. So they're just hoping that you do something. And so going to butt kissing mode, unless you get pulled over in Burbank, in which case you're getting a ticket anyway because they're just raising money over there. So just don't even kiss ass because you'll get both. Okay, so anyway. So I want an ass kiss mode, but here's my problem is I drive with a certain vengeance, which is if somebody's getting in my way and giving me a prom and dragging their ass, I go around them aggressively.

3:48 Drew That's mostly on the freeway.

3:49 Adam Trying to make a point.

3:50 Drew You've made fair to yourself. You do it on the freeway.

3:51 Adam But this just happened to me on Hollywood Boulevard. I just did two like crazy zigzag acceleration moves and then missed the light as I was accelerating and I had to like almost lock the brakes up and.

4:05 Drew And then the guy you're passing drives up next.

4:07 Adam Then, then yes, I always loved that one. Then I noticed out of a corner of my black and white just parked right next to me and I'm thinking to myself, boy wonder how much of what I just did he saw. I hope if it was 5% he's gonna arrest me. Then he does the window thing and I'm thinking, I bet he saw some of that. Then came the question about how much weaving and illegal driving I was planning on doing. Until I told him that was it. Do the lion's kissing.

4:32 Drew What'd you say?

4:33 Adam Just general, general.

4:35 Drew He looked surly.

4:36 Adam Then he said, then he said, give me a reason why I shouldn't write you a ticket. And I just said, cause I'm an asshole. And he just laughed and his buddy went, oh yes you got on TV or something. So that was it. That was good. All right. That just gives me more fuel to drive that way though, Drew.

4:59 Drew Oh, no kidding.

4:59 Adam All right, should we take some calls?

5:01 Drew Sure, why not?

5:01 Adam No gas tonight.

5:03 Drew We can go on and talk about high school football.

5:06 Adam I saw something on TV tonight that they used to do in movies that they don't do anymore. You know, we look for the stuff they don't do anymore. Buddy of mine brought up the other day, the cold shower. Don't hear about the cold shower anymore.

5:18 Drew Yeah, time to take a cold shower.

5:19 Adam Guys gotta take cold showers. Woman get right up to the point with this lady, but then she shuts him down. He's gotta take a cold shower. That's been replaced by beating off, I believe. But here's what they don't do in movies.

5:29 Drew That by the way was a euphemism for beating off.

5:31 Adam I was watching that, I got home tonight, I was watching that Schwarzenegger movie Commando. And there's that part where they hit him with the dart. By the way, Drew, do you get knocked out the second you get hit with a dart? The second?

5:44 Drew Only if it's coming out of like a long bamboo tube. And that hits you in the neck.

5:48 Adam No, no, shot in the sternum with the dart, out of the pistol, and I gotta just fall over. It's like, don't you clutch yourself for a second? Did your breathing change? It's like, immediately, immediately when the dart hits you?

6:01 Drew There's nothing like that.

6:02 Adam There's nothing exists that way.

6:03 Drew It has to go intravenously. It has to go right into a large vein. You can't do that.

6:08 Adam I was saying these movies, it's like the guy pulls the pistol out, holds it to him, and it says, have a nice sleep, wha-poom, and the guy's out before he hits the ground.

6:20 Drew Well, everything in film is true.

6:21 Adam All right, well, they're moving it along. So when Schwarzenegger wakes up, he's chained to the table, sees this old Vietnam vet, buddy of his, and he's like, he's like, McBride, I thought you were, and the guy goes, dead. And I realized they don't do that in movies anymore, where the guy goes, I thought you were, and the other guy finishes with dead. They used to do that in every third action movie. Not anymore. Now they let him finish the sentence. It's a little uncomfortable beat. They go, I thought you were, and they, dead. But the guy, the guy who started the sentence finishes it. You know, is that true? Yeah, interesting.

6:58 Laughing time is over.

7:01 Drew Ksenia?

7:03 That's pretty good.

7:06 Yeah, I'm in the Gay Straight Alliance of my school.

7:09 Adam You're what?

7:10 I'm in the Gay Straight Alliance of my school.

7:12 Drew Gay Straight Alliance?

7:13 Yeah, it's like.

7:15 Drew Coming together, the gays and the straights.

7:17 No, well yeah. It's like a club, we try to like raise awareness and stuff.

7:21 Drew Gay Straight Alliance, got it.

7:23 Adam Gays and straights? Jesus Christ, is this a private school?

7:32 No, it's public.

7:34 Adam Oh man, they gotta get those vouchers going. This is calling from San Francisco?

7:40 In the area, yeah.

7:41 Adam All right, you're 14?

7:43 Caller Yeah.

7:45 Adam Listen, shouldn't they be teaching your god damn kids to fill out checks and envelopes and things like that instead of the gay and straight alliance?

7:52 Drew All right, so what's going on? What's your question?

7:54 Caller Well, I wanna go to this event for the GSAs and it's like, GSAs, yeah. And I mean, it's like from early morning to like late evening.

8:07 Adam Yeah.

8:07 Drew They are 14. I don't care who it's for, they're gonna have an issue with it.

8:11 Caller Exactly.

8:11 Drew It could be for the sort of the church alliance.

8:14 Caller They would let me go, but they're pretty homophobically. I just told them about the GSA and they're like, why would they have that? What is that?

8:21 Adam Well, wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you lesbian?

8:24 Caller I'm bisexual.

8:25 Adam You're bisexual.

8:27 Drew You're a lesbian.

8:27 Adam And Drew, please. And you told your parents about the Gay Straight Alliance?

8:35 And I was like.

8:36 Drew What do you mean you're bisexual at 14? How do you know what you are at 14?

8:39 Caller I don't know. I've gone out with girls, I've gone with guys. Yeah.

8:46 Adam All right. And, okay, and your parents?

8:49 Caller My parents, I vaguely mentioned. I was like, yeah, my friend runs this club and she wants me to join. They were like, I don't think you should join. Why would they have that sort of thing at school?

8:58 Drew Yeah.

9:00 Adam Is this sanctioned by the school, the Gay Straight Alliance?

9:03 Drew So you join if you want. And if you don't want, you don't. I understand.

9:07 Caller Cause I want to go to this and I just don't know what to tell them.

9:10 Adam What's the, what's the event?

9:12 Caller It's for all like GSA's cause there's like a network of them in schools. Then you go and they like teach you like.

9:17 Adam Oh, it's a huge glory hole event.

9:19 Drew What do they teach you?

9:20 Caller Like how to better run your club. Cause we're having issues. Like our clubs are like not like working well.

9:25 Drew Why was the problem?

9:26 Well, there's not many members.

9:28 Caller A lot of people are like afraid to join and stuff like that.

9:30 Adam What do you need one for? Just do your goddamn homework and go to college. Would you?

9:35 Caller Oh my God. All right. But I mean, I don't want to like lie to them and go, yeah, we're going to the movies and shopping from like.

9:42 Drew No, it sounds like you were an assertive person. You've already sort of reached the topic with them. Your orientation has nothing to do with this. It's a group that you're sort of admire and you're friends.

9:51 Adam What do you mean her orientation has nothing to do with it? She's gay and straight. She's both of them.

9:56 Drew She doesn't know what she is at this point.

9:58 Adam She's screwing with her parents. Why are you screwing with your parents?

10:02 Caller I'm still not screwing with my parents.

10:03 Adam You're not?

10:04 Drew You're a lesbian.

10:07 Adam You love your parents? You respect them? Yeah. Is that good to you? What do they do? They both work too much?

10:15 Caller My mom lost her job a little while ago.

10:17 Adam All right. Your dad, what does he do?

10:20 Caller He's a professor at Stanford University.

10:24 Adam Everything's good?

10:25 Caller Yeah.

10:26 Drew And he's the one I'm sure, I'm sure they instilled these values in you from a young age.

10:30 Adam And now it's payback time.

10:32 Drew It's coming to term.

10:35 Caller My mom like took me to the parade on Castro and stuff.

10:37 Adam The gay parade.

10:39 Drew Listen. They listen. They cannot. That is BS. They cannot hold you to one standard and the rest of the world to another. That's ridiculous. You go ahead and.

10:50 Adam But she's 14. Maybe they don't want her gone for 14 hours.

10:54 Drew That's what I told her. I said they wouldn't be happy if she went to a church group for 14 hours. But she said, no, no, they're cool with that kind of thing. So fine. Search yourself. Go do it. You have friends. You have a son. You value these things. Those are your values. This is what adolescence is, is deciding who you are and what your values are. That's it. Go on. I, by the way, don't think she's, she's bisexual. She just sort of declared.

11:14 Adam I think she kind of wishes she was.

11:15 Drew Yeah, she wishes she was.

11:16 Adam Because she's hanging around a bunch of fruitcakes and she wishes she had some, some angle. And it's easy for a girl to sort of technically call herself bisexual because she has to do a screw around with a chick a couple of times after a few wine coolers. And now she keeps her bisexual card going for another year. But they're not really that into it. But she wears it like a badge of honor because she's in San Francisco and she's with a bunch of progressive folks over there. All right, good. Listen, I don't like any of those groups, by the way.

11:44 Drew You don't like groups, period.

11:46 Adam I don't like any groups. And I don't like any groups at school.

11:49 Drew You especially don't like groups that write letters.

11:52 Adam I don't like groups that use vowels, that write letters. I don't like any of that stuff. And I don't like that there's so much stuff at school that kids aren't learning. They should be learning just life fundamental stuff. Just filling out how to address an envelope properly. Do it for a whole year. How to fill out a check. I didn't learn anything in high school. Except for ceramics. Jim?

12:18 Best Of Yes.

12:18 Adam What's up?

12:20 Best Of I was in the medicine cabinet at my girlfriend's house the other day and I found a prescription that's not hers and I was curious on what it is and if I should be concerned.

12:30 Drew It's not hers?

12:31 Best Of No.

12:32 Adam Doesn't have her name on it?

12:33 Best Of No, actually the label is pretty worn out like it's an old pill capsule or whatever.

12:39 Drew So it could be hers?

12:40 Best Of It could be, yes. Alright.

12:42 Drew What is it?

12:43 Best Of It's, I can't pronounce it, but it's S-K-E-L-A-X-I-N.

12:47 Drew Yeah, that's a sclax and that's a muscle relaxant. It's no big deal.

12:51 Best Of It's nothing to be worried about.

12:52 Drew Kind of weird. How old is she?

12:54 Best Of She's 19.

12:55 Drew Has she had any sports injuries or back problems or anything?

12:57 Best Of No.

12:58 Drew Kind of a weird thing for a 19-year-old to have in her drawer, but it's not addictive and it's not a serious medicine.

13:03 Best Of It's not very strong or anything like that.

13:05 Drew No, it's a muscle relaxant.

13:06 Adam What are you worried about, Jim?

13:08 Best Of Well, it's actually, it's Tim.

13:10 Adam Oh, Tim?

13:11 Best Of Yeah, well, I mean, it wasn't, it's not hers, and I just want to make sure she wasn't.

13:15 Adam Well, you don't know it's not hers.

13:17 Drew He's right. One of the ways you can learn more about anyone than almost any other way is to look in their medicine cabinet. Really, you learn a lot about someone, you find out what medicine is.

13:25 Adam I know, but he doesn't know it's not her medicine. I know.

13:28 Drew It doesn't matter if it is or not, hers or not. It's a lightweight, relatively, medicine.

13:33 Adam All right.

13:33 Drew It's a little weird for a 19-year-old. I mean, why, a 19-year-old shouldn't be taking anything, frankly.

13:37 Adam Well, why don't you ask her about it, Tim?

13:39 Best Of I will do that.

13:40 Drew There you go.

13:41 Adam Don't tell her you're snooping.

13:43 Best Of Well, I wasn't. I was actually in there getting something, and I just happened to see it. All right. I guess I was.

13:48 Adam All right, but listen, Tim, don't worry about it in general. Don't think so much.

13:53 Best Of All right, thanks.

13:53 Adam You're fine. She's fine. It's all good.

13:56 Drew Good times.

13:57 Adam Yeah. I'm going to hang up the phone. I'll never think about you again. So it's like, in a way, maybe you don't even exist. You're thinking about that, Drew?

14:06 Drew No, they existed. I promise.

14:08 Adam I don't know.

14:08 Drew I know in your world, maybe other people don't exist.

14:11 Adam Are you so sure stuff's there when you're not there?

14:13 Drew Yeah, I'm sure. Convinced. Thoroughly. I've seen evidence.

14:20 Adam You don't know. You don't know that stuff's there when you're not there. You don't know if your house is there. You don't know if New York is there.

14:26 Drew People dismantle the set? The man?

14:29 Adam I don't claim to have all the answers, Drew. I just ask the tough questions. Eric? Yeah. You're 20? Hey, hold on a second. Hey, listen to me. I don't want any more Tims who are Jims or Erics that are Derek. More girls. We need more women. I don't want any guys, but find other goddamn names and write it down on the goddamn screen. And whatever I call you when we punch you up, that's your name.

14:55 Caller The next time is Bill.

14:58 Bill.

14:58 Drew That's right.

14:59 Good.

14:59 Caller Billy Bob.

15:00 Drew Hi, Bill. What's up?

15:03 Adam I can't stand him already. I just want to talk to some women. Guys are so bad.

15:07 Laura?

15:09 Adam You're 14. What's up?

15:10 Caller Yes.

15:11 I've been taking Ritalin since I was in first grade, and I wanted to know how it worked.

15:17 Drew It's basically like an amphetamine, though it doesn't have any of the brain toxic effects that amphetamine does, and it has a paradoxical effect on people with ADD and ADHD, is when you are sort of sped up and hyperactive and have difficulty concentrating, paradoxically, these stimulants bring you down and help you concentrate.

15:36 Okay.

15:37 Drew Something you really ought to think about getting off of when you're about 18, or by the time you're 18. In my opinion. Okay?

15:44 Adam You had good times, though, right?

15:46 Yeah.

15:47 Adam See, she don't exist anymore.

15:48 Drew In fact, there's some evidence that Riddler may have brain protective effect against things like cocaine.

15:52 Adam Well, give me some of that. Derek.

15:54 Caller Yeah.

15:55 Adam What's up?

15:55 Caller What's up, man? I got a little problem with my girlfriend, dude. I don't know what to do with her. She's like, right now, she might be pregnant, but I'm not sure by who because she's been going to see this guy back and forth, but not really being with him, you know what I mean? Just like every like a couple of times a month, she came home with hickeys a couple of times, you know, I'm just like me, like an idiot. I'm still with her, but since she might be pregnant, I don't want to just leave her. You know what I mean? And it might be my kid. So I really don't know what to do at this point.

16:29 Drew How old is she?

16:31 Caller She's 19.

16:33 Drew She don't have drugs or anything?

16:34 Caller No, dude, not for like four years.

16:39 Adam Dude, and what are you doing, dude?

16:42 Caller Not much, man. Trying to go to school, getting everything done right now. My life.

16:47 Adam Junior college? Hold on, Drew. You can knock me over the feather. Scrape me right off the ground. What are you studying over there in junior college?

16:59 Caller Recording Arts. Why?

17:01 Adam What do you do with that? Become an engineer?

17:04 Caller No, I want to be a producer.

17:07 Adam What kind of stuff do you want to produce? Music? I'm going to guess classical. No.

17:16 Caller Hip-hop.

17:16 Adam Hip-hop?

17:17 Caller Yeah, hip-hop.

17:18 Adam Alright. Hey, can you do a little beatbox for us?

17:21 Caller Nah, I don't do the little beatboxes.

17:23 Adam Okay.

17:24 Drew I wish we talked to Eric before I did that crank-anchor thing. He could have given us a whole list of hip-hop words.

17:31 Adam It's not Eric, it's Derek, by the way. Yeah. All right, so listen, Derek. Yeah. How far along is she, pregnancy-wise?

17:39 Caller Dude, she probably will be like a month now.

17:42 Adam She's a month. Let me tell you the bad news and the good news. The bad news is if she does have the kid and you do get a paternity test and you do find out that you're the parent, you're on the hook for that. The good news is all successful people in the rap industry have a couple of illegitimate kids, so you're well on your way. Yeah. That's right. It's important not to get married to her, though, and to crank out a couple more kids from a few other hosts. See what I'm saying?

18:17 Caller Well, I don't know if the kid's mine or not. This dude's Puerto Rican, you know?

18:22 Adam Well, I guess you're going to find out. Was that bogus?

18:26 Drew No, no, no. It's just that Derek, are you sure? No, Derek, there's so much in this relationship.

18:32 Adam What's your nationality? Dude, I'm Swedish. Yeah, it's bogus. Okay. All right. We will see you in hell.

18:42 All right, dude?

18:44 What? All right. The recording arts. All right.

18:47 Adam If the guy is a, if it's in fact the true story and the guy's Puerto Rican and he's Swedish, you should be able to tell.

18:54 Drew All right. But be that as it may, if it's also a real story, that's, you know, very, very obvious and healthy situation with the girlfriends screwing over the people. You know, there's a lot of calm down.

19:06 Adam The only part that didn't sound bogus about that whole thing was the junior college part.

19:10 Drew Yeah. I'm not even sure he was up to junior college. That's sort of what struck me. It's like, really?

19:16 Adam You think there's, you think there's like a, there's like a AAA of like, you know, there's the major leagues.

19:24 Drew There's like a Peewee college.

19:25 Adam Minor leagues in this AAA.

19:27 Drew You know, is it like a midget college?

19:30 Adam College for midgets?

19:31 Drew No, but like under junior.

19:33 Adam Right.

19:34 Drew Bantam College.

19:36 Adam There is, there really is no college under junior college, Drew. There's, there's high school, but there's many high schools that I would argue are above the junior college level. The only thing that makes high schools a more learning rich environment is you actually have attendance in things. Junior college is high school with no supervision. We ride a motorcycle on the campus and smoke cigarettes at the, you know, under the awning during a nutrition and then split when you want. See, that's, it's prison with no guards. Leanne?

20:14 Yes.

20:14 Adam You're 21?

20:15 Caller Yes.

20:16 Adam What's up?

20:17 Well, um, I've been with a guy for about eight months when we lived together and, um, just recently it's gotten really bad. He has a bad porn habit. He basically wants to do that all the time, just jack off to porn, never wants to have sex with me.

20:32 Adam Yeah, big deal. Get off his back. You're fat. Oh, Drew, please. Is Drew right?

20:37 What?

20:37 Adam Are you a big gal?

20:39 No, I'm not that big.

20:41 Adam What size are you?

20:43 Um, let me see. I weigh 160 pounds. I'm 5'8.

20:46 Adam Hold on a second. Let me do some… You're overweight. Drew, please.

20:49 Yes, I am about 30 pounds overweight. I was on bed rest this past summer.

20:53 Drew What were you on bed rest for?

20:55 Um, actually my doctors still don't know, but I have some condition with my uterus.

21:01 Drew Oh, were you sexually abused growing up?

21:04 Um, yes, I was.

21:05 Drew There is that condition with your uterus. How did I know that magically? Well, overweight with a painful uterus equals sexual abuse.

21:12 Adam Let me just do the radio math. I got 5'5, 15 16, and 177.

21:27 Drew Good to go away.

21:28 Adam All right, well now hold on. Let's get to Leanne.

21:30 Drew So Leanne.

21:31 Adam Who sexually abused you?

21:32 My brother.

21:34 Drew Did you tell your doctors about that history?

21:37 Um, yeah, I believe they know.

21:39 Drew No, you've got to make that explicitly clear to them. That's very important part of this pelvic pain thing you've got. Okay. Okay, that puts it in a different context. And you may have to spend less time in bed if they know about that history and the treatments will be kind of different.

21:52 Adam And I don't trust this boyfriend of yours now. Before I looked up to him like the Messiah because all the porn he watched, but now that you come from this troubled past, I worry about your decision making as an adult.

22:04 Drew Is he addicted to anything else or had he been? Just drugs.

22:12 Adam Drugs and porn.

22:13 Drew Just drugs. Nothing else, just drugs.

22:16 He doesn't do that stuff anymore. He does smoke weed, but it's mainly porn.

22:19 Drew Alright, well here's what happens when people that particularly stimulant, well, I guess more often than not in my experience, opiate addicts too. When they get off those things and try to get by on marijuana maintenance, it's not enough. They will do, they will start engaging in sort of criminal type activity, they'll start stealing stuff and they'll start getting going on the sexual addictions. They have, that part of their brain needs to be stimulated in extra physiologic ways after they've triggered the disease of addiction unless they get into recovery programs.

22:47 Adam He's chipping with the porn.

22:49 Drew He's chipping with the porn. He's replacing it with the porn.

22:51 Adam What, what kind of porn does he like?

22:54 Mainly internet porn.

22:56 I don't mind looking at it with him, but just, I can't do it all the time like he does.

23:01 Adam Internet porn isn't really a type of porn. It's just porn delivered via the internet.

23:07 Lesbians, just girls on girls.

23:09 Adam Girl on girl.

23:10 Drew That's the type, I see.

23:12 Yeah.

23:12 Drew Very good. He's going to get worse with this, too. There's going to be more consequences from it. He's going to spend more money on it. There's going to be a lot of things that happen because of it. He needs to get going. If you, if, you know, there's a lot going on here, obviously. You need to make sure your doctors attend to the fact that you're a victim and a survivor of sexual abuse. Number two, if you want to get him motivated to make change, one of the things that I found more than anything else gets people who have addiction problems to get going is for the partner to get involved in a co-dependency program like Al-Anon, something like that, and get a sponsor and work the steps.

23:46 He doesn't think he has a problem.

23:48 Drew You, you getting a sponsor in a co-dependency program, that may motivate him to make change.

23:53 Adam What's this guy do for a living?

23:55 He runs a press.

23:58 Adam I see, works at a print.

24:00 Printing shop, yes.

24:01 Adam Okay, this guy's a loser. Plus he's probably got ink all over his penis, right?

24:07 No, I just, you know, I get really upset and sometimes like I break down emotionally and I don't know if it's because I, when he rejects me and I don't know if it's because I was abused when I was little that I'm so dependent on it.

24:19 Drew No, it's that what you do when you've been victimized is you create relationships that reenact those traumas and everything becomes that trauma over and over and over again and we don't really, really know the biology behind that, why humans do that, but that's what we do.

24:31 Adam Alright, so we're sorry for what happened to you, but you're an adult now, you gotta get some help for it and I don't necessarily trust this guy in the big picture.

24:39 Drew No, once she goes to codependency program, she'll be thinking, what am I doing with this guy?

24:44 Adam Right.

24:44 Drew She'll be like crap, I need someone more and that's it and he'll, he will either get better or that'll be that.

24:49 Adam Alright, well good times. We're gonna take ourselves a little break.

24:53 Drew Good times, right?

24:54 Adam Yeah, take a little break. Hey, everybody, Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LLVE-191-er. Yeah, let me hit that reverb switch again. Hey, guys and gals out there, radio live.

25:38 Drew Nice, nice. Blessed one.

25:42 Adam Now, I think I gotta plug my mic into that chair.

25:43 Caller Yeah, that's what you gotta do. Go ahead, plug away.

25:46 Adam You ready, Drew?

25:47 Drew Oh, Anderson, Anderson, are you really, really wanting to do this? Okay, now we'll see why I never plug it. Yeah, I know. Well, guess what? Now, the buzz is over here on this one.

25:57 Adam No, I hear a buzz.

25:58 Caller The buzz is on this one too, it's bad.

25:59 Hey, hey, hey, hey.

26:03 Adam I'm gonna do the rest of the show in reverb, Drew.

26:05 Drew Nothing.

26:05 Adam Grace, you're 17, you're on line six.

26:10 Drew Oh, you hung up on five.

26:11 Adam Oh, screw five. Grace? What's up?

26:16 Nothing, I was wondering if a girl can become pregnant while she's on her period.

26:22 Adam Girl's vagina is like a sports car. Yeah, mm-hmm.

26:30 Yeah?

26:30 Drew Yeah, she can, Grace, it's possible. It's not likely, but it's possible.

26:35 Adam It's possible.

26:37 What's the percentage of it happening?

26:38 Adam 22%.

26:40 Drew Did you have unprotected sexual intercourse?

26:42 Yeah, I did.

26:43 Drew When?

26:44 When?

26:44 Drew When? When?

26:46 Adam Drew, you're getting in on my reverb.

26:47 Drew I can hear that.

26:48 Adam Stop it.

26:48 Drew I don't like it. When?

26:50 About three days after I started my period.

26:52 Adam Three days.

26:54 Drew No, I understand. Relative to this moment, when did that happen, the intercourse?

26:59 The 28th of December.

27:00 Drew All right, so a while ago. Because why didn't you get the morning after pill? That would have been the smart thing to do. And really you should do that whenever in the cycle you have it unprotected. You're amusing yourself. No, but you're probably, nothing you can do at this point anyway, Grace, you're probably okay. And you know, get a pregnancy test in two weeks and just be sure, but you should be fine.

27:31 I got some tape, put it on there. We did the entire lightning round and reverb.

27:34 Caller Yeah.

27:35 Cause I know you're way too lazy to hold it.

27:38 Adam I don't think we need tape. I think I can just wedge something. And let's see what it sounds like.

27:49 Oh, we're all gonna be in such a hell.

27:50 Adam All right. Tonight we do a special reverb version of the lightning round.

27:56 Drew Great.

27:57 Adam We got to remember to do that, Drew.

27:59 Drew Oh yeah. I'll be sure to remember. Good times.

28:01 Adam Let's speak to Dan, who's 22. Dan?

28:05 Best Of Yeah.

28:05 Adam What's up?

28:07 Best Of I'm 22 and I've never been able to maintain an erection with a woman. I can do it when I masturbate. And I'm seeing a therapist, but my question is it possible for it to be physical? I need medication.

28:18 Drew Well, medication would help it. It's certainly things like Viagra are real good at helping people sustain an erection. Do you get real-

28:24 Best Of Well, even at this young an age, that's possible.

28:26 Drew That's possible. Do you get real anxious and nervous when you're with a woman?

28:29 Best Of No, I don't. And that's why it's very frustrating.

28:32 Drew Do you have any medical problems?

28:33 Best Of No, not that I know of.

28:35 Drew You want medication?

28:36 Best Of No.

28:37 Drew Have you been evaluated from a medical standpoint?

28:39 Best Of No, I haven't yet.

28:41 Drew All right, that would be a reasonable thing to do. But the fact that you're able to maintain erection and masturbate normally suggests that it probably is a psychological problem, right?

28:49 Best Of That's what I thought, but I wanted to ask you if...

28:53 Drew It's always possible. It's possible there's a medical component to this and it's always important to get that evaluated.

28:58 Best Of What kind of a doctor? Do I just go to my regular doctor?

29:01 Drew Regular doctor, generalist. No, any doctor can do this for you.

29:04 Adam Yeah, but it's probably not because everything's hooked up and it works.

29:09 Drew It works when it's not confronted by a female though, right?

29:12 Best Of Exactly.

29:13 Adam How often you beaten off?

29:17 Drew Maybe that's the problem. Maybe being off...

29:19 Best Of No, cause I've tried stopping to see if then it'll work and it doesn't.

29:24 Adam You have a girl?

29:26 Caller Yeah, I have a girlfriend.

29:27 Adam You do?

29:28 Drew And you cannot maintain an erection with her ever?

29:32 Best Of Not to the point of ejaculation, no.

29:35 Drew So you were able to penetrate and then you lose the erection after a while?

29:38 Caller Exactly.

29:40 Drew How long before you lose the erection?

29:43 Best Of Sometimes pretty quick, sometimes not so quick, but quick enough for it to be frustrating.

29:50 Drew How many minutes on average?

29:52 Best Of How many? Oh, I would estimate about six, seven minutes, I'm really not sure.

30:02 Adam Two, three. Drew has difficulty comprehending this because he's a man of supreme passion.

30:09 Drew Supreme.

30:12 Adam Okay, but now what about oral sex?

30:16 Best Of I can't get to the, I can't, that doesn't work for me either.

30:20 Adam No erection with the oral sex?

30:22 Best Of It may get erect for a very short time, but oral sex is probably even less.

30:28 Drew But you're telling me you don't get anxious, you're not aware of any symptoms, any feelings that you're having?

30:33 Best Of I, I, I sometimes may experience a little bit of physical kind of like tensing anxiety, but not too much. I mean, I'm excited about, you know, I'm excited about sex, I'm ready. I'm, you know, it's not anything like, I'm nervous about the experience at all.

30:55 Adam Are you gay? Maybe your penis is. You ever catch it sniffing other guy's asses?

31:05 Best Of I've never been even remotely attracted to one.

31:08 Adam Cause there's one, one I took my penis to the park.

31:11 Drew Oh, well that must have been a disaster. Well, I, I, I, I, I get it some exercise, let it run off.

31:19 Adam Some of that pull away.

31:21 Drew Some gophers tried to dig down the hole holes.

31:24 Adam You know, this is when I was living in an apartment and I didn't like the idea of keeping my penis, even though it was a small penis, cooped up in the apartment the whole time. You know what I'm saying?

31:34 Drew It wasn't an indoor penis. What are you gonna do?

31:36 Adam It wasn't, no, clearly it wasn't. It was not raised as an indoor penis. On the other hand, you know, now that I live up in the hills, I don't want to let it out, especially at night. Cause there's coyotes.

31:46 Drew Well, you also get all those cattails in there and stuff. He gets caught in it.

31:50 Adam It's not so much about that and, you know, tracking semen onto the carpet and that kind of stuff. But it's more about, like, I've had some friends that had their penises eaten off by coyotes. You know, they didn't come, they come in at night. You know what I'm saying? You gotta put them up at your place too.

32:04 Drew Yeah, we have Bobcats.

32:05 Adam Yeah, Bobcats. Bobcat penises, no match, even uncircumcised, no match for a Bobcat.

32:12 Drew You know, sometimes you can sort of decoy with the, with the, with the, with the free pews. Just take that and run.

32:17 Adam The foreskin heads that way. The penis goes that way. The Bobcat's gotta make a decision. Well, anyway, I took my penis to the park.

32:24 Drew Oh yeah.

32:25 Adam And like I said, I was just, I was trying to sort of tire it out. So when I got home, I could get some rest. You know what I mean? Nothing worse than when the penis is up and you're trying to get some sleep.

32:36 Drew Oh, it wakes you up to go in the morning. It's time to take it out. It's an outdoor penis.

32:39 What are you gonna do?

32:41 Adam And I went and got a drink of water.

32:43 Drew I was gonna just finish up with Dan.

32:45 Adam The penis found it sniffing this dude's ass.

32:49 Drew Oh, that must have been very disturbing.

32:50 Adam It's embarrassing.

32:51 Drew It's embarrassing. No, no, I mean, more than embarrassing. What do you care? I think, I mean.

32:55 Adam It's embarrassing.

32:58 Caller I know. All right.

32:59 Drew So, Dan, you don't, you're-

33:00 Adam I had to put the penis down some months later.

33:03 Drew Oh, that's a depressing story. Yeah.

33:06 Adam Pretty painful.

33:07 Drew And I doubted that you beat it for a while before.

33:09 Adam Before I put it down, yeah.

33:12 Drew Dan, here's the deal. You're doing all the right stuff. You're seeing a therapist. Go have him throw a medical evaluation to make sure there's not some medical component, whether it's vascular, prostate, endocrinologic, something else that just has, you know, neurologic, something, but undoubtedly it's emotional.

33:26 Caller Laura. Laura.

33:29 I'm here.

33:30 Adam You're 19.

33:31 Caller Yep.

33:31 Adam What's up?

33:33 Caller I've been smoking weed probably for pretty close to two years now. And I feel like, I don't know, recently I just haven't really been enjoying it that much.

33:45 Drew And I feel- And that's what always happened with pod. It starts to wear off, start getting a little anxious, a little paranoid from it, depressed, start having difficulty completing tasks.

33:57 Caller Like I've noticed certain personality changes in me, like since I've started, or like, you know, since I started. And I was just wondering, like, you know, if I were to stop, would my personality change back? Or is it like-

34:13 Drew What do you have, irritability and that sort of thing?

34:16 Caller Yeah, just, I mean, like, I'm, I find that I'm like really lazy now. I don't really have a sense of money management anymore.

34:24 Drew I don't- There's absolutely no doubt that it blocks, though, the initiation of motor activity. You have lots of good intentions, but they never get actualized in any certain sense of going, getting up and doing something. That's what POD does. It blocks that mechanism neurologically. So yeah, after about six months, things do tend to return to normal, but that first six months can be very treacherous, and you really do need to be monitored during that. I would suggest you get involved with MA, and marijuana addiction is not something you can just stop. You will go back. And it's kind of tough to stop, too. So go get involved with MA. What is that noise?

34:59 Adam I don't know.

35:03 Drew He stopped it.

35:05 Adam Yeah, I did hear some conversation.

35:06 Drew Yeah, some like, all right. But Laura, take this seriously. You're at a sort of a critical crossroads in your life, trying to get stuff together here. You're young. Don't let this destroy you right now. All right.

35:19 Adam Good times. Let's take a break, Drew.

35:23 Drew Yeah, I gotta go pee. Ooh, early. Are you okay?

35:26 Adam It's about time.

35:27 Drew You must really been upset about that penis episode.

35:31 Adam I had mixed feelings about putting it down.

35:33 Drew 10 to 36. 10 to 36, whoa.

35:36 Adam Well, don't we normally, aren't we supposed to go at 37?

35:39 Drew 38.

35:40 Adam 38's when we're supposed to go?

35:42 Drew Yeah, it's never happened, by the way.

35:44 Adam Oh.

35:44 Drew Have we ever gone at 38 ever? We have? Twice. Thank you.

35:48 Adam I thought it was supposed to be 37. If we talk about it for another 51 seconds.

35:52 Drew No, let's go.

35:53 Adam All right. All right, we'll be back. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191.

36:13 Caller Yeah.

36:14 Drew Oh, yeah.

36:16 Caller Oh, yeah.

36:34 Caller Yeah. Tell you what.

36:35 Drew Yeah.

36:36 Adam All right, we're ready to roll here, Drew?

36:37 Drew Yeah, here we go. Oh, five, five. Let's go, guys.

36:42 Caller Doink and doink.

36:44 Drew There we go.

36:44 Adam Hello? Hello? What's your name?

36:50 Drew What's up, Evan?

36:53 Adam I like shows that call the people caller. What's happening, caller?

37:04 Drew Marlene, caller.

37:05 Adam Caller? Caller? Caller, this is host.

37:12 Drew What's up, Marlene?

37:13 Hey.

37:14 Adam Hey.

37:16 I'm from Glendale. Yeah, I was wondering, where do you draw that line where it's not just discipline anymore, and it's kind of like child abuse?

37:28 Drew It's a hard line to... it's not a hard and fast sort of...

37:32 Adam Well, we'll decide. Who's doing what to you?

37:34 Drew If, listen, if they do it in a way where there's an intent to hurt, if they do it with an object, and if it's something that's done routinely, especially, that's abuse. There's really no reason to hit a child. The reality is, there's absolutely no situation in which there aren't much better and more effective ways to discipline kids.

38:00 Tell me about it. But like, seriously, I don't know what to do anyway because I'm like 15, you know? I like power over my mother and she can give me a smack and I'm all. Yeah. I don't really know. It's like-

38:15 Adam What is she? Is she Mexican? What is she? Armenian? What is she? She's got to have a race. She's got one of those smacking mom races.

38:25 Yeah, well, we're going to call it Mexican because all Hispanics are Mexicans, so.

38:29 Caller There's no cookies in my box.

38:33 Adam Yeah.

38:33 Yeah.

38:33 Adam Where is she from?

38:37 We're Nicaraguan.

38:39 Adam I used to work with some guys who were Nicaraguan. They would always have trouble with that last part. They'd go, hey man, I'm Nicaraguan.

38:48 We're a great bunch, though.

38:49 Adam Yeah, a good bunch. The Nicaraguans, they don't like it when you confuse them with the Mexicans, and the Mexicans don't like it when you confuse them with the El Salvadorians. But us round eyes, us gringos, we don't know. We don't care. It's all the same.

39:04 Yeah. See, you know what? I miss their movement and we have to just make it either all Puerto Rican or all Mexican.

39:10 Adam Yeah. Well, here's... You know what, Marlene? I'm glad you brought that up. Here's the way I'm going to do it. East of the Mississippi, Puerto Rican. West of the Mississippi, Mexican. That's it. I'll get away with all these South Americans and the Central Americans and the Nicaraguans and the Sandinistas and all. Let's lose all that stuff. Chinaman. It's all Chinaman.

39:39 Drew How about... What do we do about the Americans and Canadians?

39:44 Adam They're fine, just white, they're a cracker, just whitey.

39:46 American Tremors?

39:47 Drew I don't know.

39:47 Adam No, no, that's just whitey. We don't need to make a distinction with them.

39:52 I personally don't ask around if I hate Canadians, so it's not an issue.

39:56 Drew You hate Canadians?

39:57 Adam No, she doesn't ask around, she doesn't know.

39:59 Drew I thought she said she hated Canadians.

40:00 Adam No, not an issue, she said.

40:01 And I don't care enough to ask.

40:02 Drew Oh, I see, I see.

40:03 Adam All right, so anyway, you're a Nicaraguan and your mom, even though she's little, she's feisty. It is, they got chili pepper in their blood, those people.

40:14 Drew I suggest you put a lemon on it, tell her to just cut it, to make it very clear, stop.

40:19 Because my dad, you know, he doesn't lay a finger on me, and then she gives my dad a guilt trip about, hey, it's your fault.

40:26 Adam Well, and then, in the culture, and the-

40:28 Look at her, she doesn't even call me to sympathize it, look at you, and then he gives my dad a guilt trip, and then I'm, yeah.

40:33 Drew Why is Marlene so likable?

40:35 Adam I like her, yeah. And see, the Latin culture, the male, the father's not disciplinarian, he's a sex partner, you know. And the mother actually does the disciplinarian, that's just what I've learned.

40:46 Drew I see, I see. So Marlene's...

40:49 Adam Yep, and your dad is your boyfriend, and your mom is your prison guard.

40:54 Drew Jail keeper, yeah.

40:56 Adam All right, so you doing okay there, Spicy?

41:00 I guess, I don't know.

41:03 Drew Marlene, if your mom will not stop, call Department of Social Services.

41:06 Yeah, but I feel like a retard, like, yeah, my mom, get this, she smacked me.

41:10 Drew No, no, that's not a retard, that's just fine, she's not, it's not too, she's smacking, she won't stop.

41:14 Adam Does she, what about getting your dad involved?

41:17 You know what, my dad, coolest guy in the world, and kind of like, it's all like, his logic, it's all like, you know, your mom's insane, leave her alone.

41:26 Drew That's not, not bad. Yeah, yeah.

41:27 It's all like, leave her alone that week.

41:29 Drew Not bad logic on his part, however, obviously, she won't leave you alone. So there's a problem.

41:36 Adam You know, the sound, why don't you, why don't you predict. When, when you're, when your mom whacks you, does she go, hi.

41:43 I wish it would be some comic release.

41:46 Adam Oh, really?

41:46 Kind of mouths off and talks about the revolution and how I don't know how hard it is.

41:50 Adam Yeah.

41:52 Wonderful, wonderful situation here.

41:54 Drew Yeah, that'll be another 200 years to get that out of the generation.

41:56 Adam What's your dad do?

41:58 Job? This is going to be shocking, shaking. I know what my dad does. He's a photo technician.

42:06 Adam Yeah. Yeah, you got to get your dad and well, that's good because you'll be good with the, you'll be good with men.

42:10 Drew Notice how, how, how sort of appealing she is because she likes her dad.

42:16 Yeah.

42:16 Drew I mean, she's got a nice, nice interaction. Yeah.

42:19 Adam She likes men. She likes her dad. She likes men. But although I'm, I'm, you know, I mean, my dad's kind of a puss, kind of. That's kind of, yeah. He's a, yeah, he's like a little more than kind of a puss.

42:35 Drew You want to just put, say, colossal and put it in reverb?

42:37 Adam Yeah. I'm too lazy to, to, uh, grab this.

42:42 Drew Lean forward.

42:43 Adam But, but, but I wonder about these dads, does this sort of hang out, the moms are freaking on the kids?

42:49 Drew Yeah, some, some girls would develop some very intense resentments against dad for not helping them. For not interfering.

42:54 Adam What's up? I mean, and, uh, Drew, I don't know if you got this situation either on the home front, but, uh, this crap goes on over to my house. I lay the law down. I, uh, I get up or lean forward and start poking people with the stick that I use to get their attention. I'm going to actually get up off the sofa, but I can, I use my tension stick to get, there's no way I would let my wife start beating the crap out of my kids. And I'm sort of sitting there and kids coming to me going, mom's beating the crap out of me. And I'm going, well, you know how she is. Just stay at it. I just go in there and start yelling at her.

43:28 Drew Doug.

43:30 Adam What's happening, Doug?

43:31 Caller Hey, not too much.

43:32 Caller Hey, man, I wish you guys were around when I was a teenager.

43:34 Drew Are you using a telephone or a microphone?

43:37 Caller That's a regular telephone. I'm at my job right now.

43:40 Adam Wow, you sound good. You sound real good, buddy.

43:44 Caller It's a telephone company.

43:46 Caller We got high quality equipment around here.

43:48 Adam No kidding.

43:48 Drew Oh, my God. Let's move over there. Forget this Western One crap.

43:52 Adam Are you calling from the telephone company? That's nice.

43:57 Drew Thank you.

43:58 Adam Sweet. We could talk all night, buddy.

44:01 Caller I don't think they're going to pay me for that, though.

44:03 Drew Marlene and Doug, we're styling.

44:05 Adam What is your question?

44:06 Caller Hey, I got a little test of your infinite wisdom there, Adam.

44:09 Caller I'm going to test your car knowledge here.

44:12 Caller Shelby Daytona Coupe, something uniquely special about that car. You know what it is?

44:17 Drew Didn't we just see one the other day?

44:19 Adam No, no.

44:19 Drew Isn't that what we were mucking around with with the car show?

44:22 Adam No, I didn't see a Daytona Coupe over there.

44:24 Drew What was that? There were the three Shelby's there.

44:28 Adam That was a 427.

44:31 Caller And the old Daytona Coupe.

44:33 Adam What's unique about it in terms of historical? Well, it came between the Cobras and the GT40s.

44:41 Caller No, no, no, not that part. What a dude that made it such an American car.

44:47 Drew In terms of winning things?

44:50 Adam Winning. There you go.

44:50 Caller Winning. What a dude.

44:51 Drew It was the first to win like a GT40 or a Wonder.

44:54 Adam Oh, it was the only American car, the first American car to win like the sports car championship.

44:59 Caller Close, world manufacturing.

45:01 Adam World manufacturing championship, yeah. Yeah, well, it caught on fire at 24 hours of LeMans. It was a wood car.

45:12 Caller It was all built off of wood with the little one body on there.

45:15 Adam Yeah, it's a pretty hot car.

45:17 Drew It caught on fire at LeMans?

45:19 Adam It caught on fire, yeah.

45:20 Caller Yeah, they were only six of those built.

45:22 Caller I was just wondering about your, you know, you're pretty darn knowledgeable, so.

45:25 Adam Oh, thanks there, Doug. Yes, I do know a fair amount of those Shelby Daytonas. It's a nice car. You know, the thing that's crazy about those race cars, and I know everyone has these sort of fantasies, go back in time kind of stuff, but yeah, they built like six of those cars. They've done this a lot of cars, and then they campaigned them in like, I don't know, 65 or 66 or something like that, maybe 64, 65, and then they only ran them for one year, and it won the Manufacturers' Championship, and then they got rid of them, and then so they had to sell them, you know, and you know, selling an old race car is like selling an old race horse, you know, like, it ain't much good a couple years later, I mean, technology races on, so they sell them, they give them away, you know, they're like, I don't know, we'll take 4500 bucks for it, now they're worth 4 million dollars, and we're not talking about, you know, Napoleonic days, we're just talking about, you know, later 60s, you could have got one of those cars in 1970 for 10 grand, you know what I mean, now it's 3 million, All right, it's crazy, right? Melissa? You're 19?

46:44 Caller Yes, I am.

46:45 Adam What's up?

46:46 Caller Well, is Dr. Drew there?

46:51 Drew I'm here.

46:56 Caller I kind of have this problem. I wouldn't consider myself permiscuous, but kind of. Anyway, so I'm 19, I like to go out, have a good time. I can consider myself or think I am attractive, but I develop these attachments really quickly to different guys and they're not calling me back. And it's...

47:24 Adam You having sex with these guys?

47:26 Caller Yeah, and more than that, I become obsessed. And I seem to think that I'm in love and I know it's psychological and sex is very emotional for women, I know that. But how can I detach myself from the situation? I mean, I know I shouldn't.

47:46 Drew Okay, hold on Melissa, this is gonna take more than a couple of minutes. So we're gonna take a little break here, right? And then we're gonna get back to you. But this is an interesting topic really.

47:54 Adam Yeah, this will be a lesson given to all the young ladies of our program. Even the ones from...

48:05 Caller Here it is, bottom line, it sucks being single today.

48:08 Caller Tons of lame people and no decent prospects.

48:11 Caller Call the Dateline, call the Dateline, call the Dateline. One eight seven seven eight eight nine date.

48:43 Adam Hey, buddy, it's Loveline and Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, but don't use that number to call this show. We are going to turn it around this hour, Drew.

48:57 Drew Yeah.

48:57 Adam Yeah? You ready to rock, buddy?

48:59 Drew I'm ready, dude.

49:00 Adam All right.

49:02 Drew You might be dropping trowel.

49:04 Yeah.

49:06 Adam Yeah. Uh-oh. Maybe a little lightning round tonight, huh? Well, it's important that the kids find out what the weather is out there. And then, of course, traffic conditions. Oh, yeah.

49:22 Drew I heard one the other day. Driving out. Let's bring this up with you. Dryer in Far Right Lane.

49:27 Adam There's an actual dryer.

49:28 Drew Yes.

49:29 Adam Far Right. Interesting.

49:30 Drew Nice.

49:31 Adam Yeah. Look out for brake lights, everybody. Got to hear that traffic report every eight goddamn minutes. Oh, I got to straighten this city out, Drew, in the weather. Please. Courtney?

49:44 Caller Yeah?

49:44 Adam You're 14?

49:45 Caller Yeah.

49:46 Adam What's up?

49:47 I'm writing a term paper on physical abuse and the effects on children, and I want to know if Dr. Drew had information for me.

49:54 Drew Yes. Look at a book called Traumatic Relationships and Serious Mental Disorders by a guy named John Allen.

50:02 Adam Oh, she's not going down to the...

50:03 Drew I'm just telling you, that's got a lot of... it really brings you up to date on the current thinking about trauma in childhood and its effects on brain development and later behavior in relationships.

50:13 Adam Yeah, but she didn't call here to tell you to tell her to see some Squares book.

50:18 Drew That basically when a child is traumatized, two things happen. One is the child being threatened with the possibility of destruction and powerlessness at the hands of somebody that they rely on for safety is so overwhelming that the brain kicks into a mechanism where in order to deny that possibility, the child takes a position that they cause this to happen. They're still in control now because after all it's because of them being so bad that they cause this adult to attack them in this way.

50:49 Adam Well, we do hear lots of adults that we talk to say, well, yeah, my parents gave me a whoopin but I brought it on.

50:58 Drew Right. I act it out. Reality is that children do not cause parents to lose their ass that their parents are just out of control.

51:03 Adam Your parents never hit you, huh?

51:05 Drew And want to hurt the kid and the other consequence is the child loses the capacity or very quickly loses the capacity or trauma survivors we see lose the capacity to explore the minds of their caretakers. They deny the contents of people's minds. It's too scary to start looking into other people's minds because in there is the possibility of finding somebody who wants to destroy them. And so they turn from the developmental strategy of using other people's minds to determine and develop a sense of self and regulation of self to more primitive autoregulatory strategies.

51:39 Adam Drew, Drew do me a quick favor. Use the dictionary. Look up boring, boring.

51:45 Drew Now listen, listen, listen, listen, boring. Here's my picture, my picture is here in the dictionary.

51:52 Adam A big glossy picture of Dr. Drew.

51:54 Drew Hi and thank you Adam for making me look this up.

51:57 Adam Yes, a little surprise for you.

51:58 Drew Thank you so much.

51:59 Adam All right, really, really read boring and see, see if you're defined there.

52:03 Courtney.

52:04 Wait, real quick, just real quick, Tara just asked if Drew's face is really in the dictionary. She was 100% serious.

52:13 Oh, poor Tara, don't call her Targa.

52:16 Drew Boring is causing boredom.

52:17 Adam In a way, I'm envious of Tara and her life.

52:19 Drew It would have been nice to go through life like that.

52:21 Yeah.

52:21 Drew The state of being bored. So now it looks like a bored, or to kind of pierce with a twist.

52:29 Adam Is it ironic that you're boring people with your definition of boring? Is your very definition of boring is more boring than you are, Drew?

52:36 Drew One that causes boredom, god damn it, and boredom is one who is boring.

52:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

52:42 Adam Hey Courtney. What grade you in? Eight. Eighth grade. And you're doing a term paper? How many pages does it need to be? Eight to ten? Holy Christ, it's a Magna Carta. I couldn't fill up that many pages when I was in the eighth grade if I just put one letter on each page and ended up spelling the word aardvark.

53:10 Drew Traumatic relationships and serious mental disorders.

53:14 Adam So Courtney, you do everything on the computer now, right? You get on the internet, find whatever information you need for a paper and then type it up?

53:24 Uh, not really.

53:25 Adam No. Is everything typed?

53:28 Um, for the final draft, yeah.

53:30 Adam Is everything typed now, Drew? Will your kids do a paper? Is it all typed?

53:36 Drew Uh, they write stuff. I wonder why they make such a big deal about learning cursive and all this stuff.

53:42 Adam Right.

53:42 Drew But ultimately, yeah, they do type a lot of stuff and they learn typing as quickly as they learn writing. I found a board.

53:47 Caller Good.

53:47 Adam Here we go.

53:48 Drew Something that is devoid of interest.

53:50 Caller Yeah.

53:51 Drew C also, D, Pinsky, yes.

53:53 Adam That's right. And then you'll find the picture that Tara spoke of.

53:57 Laura?

53:58 Adam You're 15? You write a challenge, Drew, in the dictionary game?

54:06 Caller You do?

54:07 Adam Hit it, do me a favor. Hit it against your head, so we can hear it. No, no, against your head, against your head. Barely. Drew, I'm just, I'm trying to kill a few precious brain cells before we actually go to work. There's Drew hitting his head with the dictionary. All right, Laura, you ready to go to work? Now, wait a second, Drew. We just looked up something in the dictionary, so I'm thinking maybe we take one call and then we get back to the dictionary game. How about not? What's that?

54:45 Caller How about we just do it now?

54:46 Adam How about we just do it now? Yeah. Let's see. Drew, look up bitch. Would you please? Quiet down. We'll do it when I'm good and ready. Hang on. We take one call. Jesus Christ, these smart kids. You know, the first part of smart ass is smart.

55:01 Drew Yeah. You're halfway there just being smart.

55:04 Adam That's right. Just hang on there, Laura. We'll take one call and then we'll get to you in the dictionary game. You're 16?

55:11 Caller Yeah.

55:12 Adam What's up?

55:13 Caller Well, see, my girlfriend and I, we've been going about about five months and, you know, I want to, like, give her oral and, you know, she feels like she's ready but there's something about the idea that's kind of uncomfortable for her. And I was just wondering if you have, if you guys have any ideas on, like, how to make her feel a little more comfortable.

55:33 Caller Wait a minute, it doesn't sound like a wine good like.

55:38 Drew What his expectation is of us.

55:39 Adam You want her to feel more comfortable receiving oral from you?

55:43 Drew Let him do it, yes.

55:45 Caller Yeah.

55:46 Adam But it's not her performing it on you.

55:48 Caller No.

55:48 Adam It's you on her.

55:49 Caller Right.

55:50 Drew Has she ever done it to you? How does she feel about that?

55:55 Caller She's, she would be more comfortable doing that than otherwise but not very comfortable.

55:59 Drew You know what? She's not ready for the whole thing.

56:02 Caller Yeah.

56:02 Drew This is just not, this is not the right time for her. How old is she? Yeah. She's not ready yet. Don't push things.

56:10 Adam You guys have been together for how long? Five months. Five months. And John, you're a virgin?

56:16 Caller Maybe.

56:18 Adam Yeah. I can hear it. I can hear it in your voice, buddy. That's cool. You got a girl.

56:24 Drew He's deflated.

56:25 Adam You got a steady squeeze.

56:26 Drew I thought I pulled.

56:27 Adam What are you guys doing? What are you guys doing now? Just making out, feeling up the sweater, that kind of stuff?

56:34 Caller Yeah, second base.

56:36 Adam Second base?

56:37 Caller Second base.

56:37 Adam Second. Although every time he says second, it sounds like he's saying sucking.

56:41 Caller Second.

56:42 Adam Second base.

56:43 Drew I think it's more of a sort of a rounding first is what he's really saying.

56:47 Adam What have you seen Bare Boob yet, John?

56:50 Caller Oh, yeah.

56:51 Adam You have? On the Internet or on her?

56:55 Caller On her.

56:56 Adam Interesting.

56:58 Caller I sucked on it.

56:59 Adam You sucked on a bare breast?

57:01 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

57:03 Adam I must have fogged those big glasses up.

57:07 Caller No glasses.

57:09 Adam Alright, context. So, John.

57:11 Caller Yeah.

57:11 Adam Yeah, just take it slow. You got a good thing going here. You guys start feeling more comfortable. Yeah, don't worry about it.

57:18 Caller Alright.

57:18 Adam Just take the pressure off yourself.

57:20 Caller Alright.

57:21 Adam And good times.

57:22 Caller Good times. Alright.

57:23 Drew I got to perform.

57:24 Caller Laura.

57:26 Adam Alright. That's alright. We are going to look up a series of three words.

57:33 Drew One at a time. That's best of three.

57:35 Adam One at a time. When...

57:38 Drew We have to read you the definition.

57:39 Adam When you have the definition, you must shout your name and then you must come up with the definition immediately after you shout your name. If I hear any page flipping after you shout your name, I'll know you're cheating. Alright. Now, Drew. I need you to take the dictionary. Mm-hmm. I need you to set it down. Right side up, please. I need you to take both hands and put them up my ass.

58:03 Caller Alright.

58:04 Adam Very good. Please take the medical ring off.

58:08 Caller Alright.

58:09 Adam So both hands on the console there, Drew. Laura? I need you to set the dictionary down. Alright. Does it set down? Where are both your hands? Okay. Take them off the dictionary. I'm going to set them next to the dictionary. No contact with the dictionary. Alright. You ready?

58:30 Drew Yeah. He reaches over and shoos my hand off the...

58:32 Adam Trying to think of the...

58:33 Drew Make sure there's no contact.

58:34 Adam Trying to think of the first word. The first word is computer. Computer. Mm-hmm. Yes, go.

58:50 Caller I devised a computer.

58:51 Drew That was good.

59:02 Adam Oh, lucky guess.

59:03 Caller How could anyone get bored working with a fascinating computer like you?

59:07 Adam All right, so, Drew, you're 0 for 1, buddy. Laura, that's just the way you do it. You yell your name out and then the definition. All right? All right, we're gonna move down...

59:18 Drew Formidable opponent.

59:19 Adam We're gonna move down the dictionary. Or maybe not. I don't want to give away too much. Laura, you're not touching the dictionary? All right. The word is reconcile. Reconcile. I'm pretty sure virtual Adam could handle this, too.

59:38 Drew Think so?

59:39 Adam Yeah. Go, Laura. Oh, boy.

59:48 Drew She got me. I got my finger on it, though.

59:50 Adam Drew, go ahead.

59:51 Drew Oh, to restore to friendship or harmony.

59:54 Adam Daylight and a dollar short. Let's look up sweep. Just for the sake of entertaining myself, let's try one more. Although Laura's clearly taken the best two out of three competition. She has little fingers and they're able to manipulate the dictionary very quickly. Also, she probably has a pro-series dictionary, whereas Drew just has a crampy, bad 60s, Westwood one-stop. I don't know. I haven't worked that out yet. I'm guessing the pages are treated with Teflon. It's probably an easy flip cover, that sort of thing.

1:00:36 No, it's pretty old, just regular Webster.

1:00:39 Adam Regular Webster. And bang it on your head one more time so we know it's there. That didn't, that sounded like the desk.

1:00:47 It hit on my head, then it fell back on the desk.

1:00:49 Adam Okay. Good girl. All right. Now, I'm trying to think if I should come up with an easy word or a tough word. It wouldn't be fair, though, for me to pick one that she didn't know how to spell. Oh, really? All right. I'm trying. Well, I don't, if you two don't know how to spell it, I certainly don't know how to spell it.

1:01:08 Drew Yeah, but you're not the one looking it up.

1:01:10 Adam All right. All right, let's say, hydrogenated. Who's moving with a certain vengeance now? Go.

1:01:22 Drew I'm on the right page, but I can't do it that fast.

1:01:25 Subject to the action of hydrogen, especially to combine an unsaturated oil with hydrogen to produce a solid fat.

1:01:34 Adam That's off the top of her head, Drew.

1:01:36 Drew I just got to add hydrogen to the molecule.

1:01:39 Adam Laura, you are the champ, my friend.

1:01:41 Drew That one, I got too fast, too.

1:01:42 Adam Yeah.

1:01:42 Drew Drew was moving.

1:01:45 Adam Wow, Laura. You're sharp, my dear. Congratulations. You in high school? Just 10th grade? 9th grade, and taking Drew to school. How are you doing with the fellas? All right.

1:02:04 Drew All right.

1:02:04 Adam All right, looks and a fast dictionary finger.

1:02:10 If somebody, like, let's say there's some girl or, I guess, who's anorexic, does that mean necessarily that they have a controlling parent?

1:02:19 Drew It does not mean that necessarily. Trauma survivors also commonly get eating disorders. But a very commonly, a common sort of classic parent of an eating disorder patient would be an intrusive mom, a mom who just doesn't identify the child's separate needs and is intruding with her own needs upon the child, and it can come across as controlling.

1:02:40 What about two parents where, like, one is more lenient than the other so that one is always kind of trying to, in front of the kid, they're kind of debating, like, oh, no, no, you're being too soft, oh, you're being too...

1:02:53 Adam What, is this your parents?

1:02:55 No, no, no way.

1:02:56 Adam All right, well, then forget it.

1:02:57 Drew It's hard to know what you're describing, but it's somewhere in there there was some trauma, I suspect.

1:03:02 Adam Speaking of trauma, what about the trauma Drew suffered in the hands of a ninth grade Laura?

1:03:07 Drew Put another one out there. There's no way I could keep up with that. I mean, that hydrogen, I got too fast.

1:03:11 Adam Yeah, no.

1:03:12 Drew And she was...

1:03:13 Adam She's nimble, this one. Didn't sound Asian, either.

1:03:17 Drew Ask.

1:03:18 Adam No way. No way. Laura? What's your nationality? See that? See who says we don't come smart once in a while. Well, Drew always putting down women. All right, baby doll. Well, we'll see you in the Supreme Court one day.

1:03:37 Caller No, I think... Okay, yeah.

1:03:40 Adam All right. Fantastic. Let's, uh, let's talk to Ashley, who's 17. Ashley? What's up?

1:03:52 Drew They never find it? Or it's never been found? Is there a problem getting the speculum in? Do they have to use a small speculum? Well, that makes it, that makes it difficult already.

1:04:05 Adam Really?

1:04:05 Drew Yeah. All they can do is poke you?

1:04:19 Caller Yeah, because they're like looking for it, and it hurts, but I mean, they're like, oh, we can't find it, come back next time.

1:04:25 Adam It's true that the Speculum is a duckbill device, it basically is a spreader, right?

1:04:31 Drew It opens like a duckbill.

1:04:34 Adam Well, it spreads, goes in, and then you spread it.

1:04:36 Drew Yeah, okay. I think it's spread being sort of a lateral spread, but it's up-down spread.

1:04:41 Adam Oh, it's up-down?

1:04:42 Drew Yeah.

1:04:42 Adam Well, it's not lateral. They put the thing in.

1:04:44 Drew And then it opens like a bill, like a duckbill, literally.

1:04:47 Adam Yeah, but I thought they would put it in sideways and spread out that way. It seems to be the direction it's going.

1:04:54 Drew Getting the picture out here. Hold on one second.

1:04:56 Adam It seemed tough to feed in that they put it in sideways and then turn it.

1:05:00 Drew No, no, no, no, no, it's got a lip on it. So you put it in and you catch the you catch the cervix.

1:05:06 Adam Yeah.

1:05:07 Drew You catch this side with the longer lip and this side with the other and you open it and this flips down. Now you're looking straight at the cervix.

1:05:13 Adam More great radio from Dr. Drew showing me the big anatomy book.

1:05:17 Drew You see what I'm saying? It hits. It hits.

1:05:19 Adam Yeah, but I'm saying how do they get it in there? They got to put it in sideways and then turn it.

1:05:23 Drew No, it's flat. It's pretty flat. It just goes right in. It slips right in.

1:05:26 Adam Really? Isn't it like putting a shoehorn in your shoe sideways?

1:05:31 Drew No.

1:05:32 Adam No?

1:05:32 Drew It fits. I understand what you're thinking, but it's not that wide.

1:05:37 Adam So anyway, never fan the service.

1:05:38 Drew But their problem is with her, they're not using a big enough spec and they can't get that in and then it's probably a retroverted uterus so they can't clip it and flip it over.

1:05:46 Adam Right.

1:05:46 Drew It's flipping way back. You're due in two months.

1:05:52 Caller Yeah, I'm going back in two months to try again, they said.

1:05:55 Drew And this is a gynecologist or what kind of doctor are you seeing?

1:05:59 Adam It's a heating and air guider.

1:06:01 Drew It's a what? It's not a gynecologist.

1:06:05 Caller It was someone at the clinic.

1:06:07 Drew You need to see a gynecologist. That was like a nurse practitioner or something. You need to see somebody who's used to really doing an exam.

1:06:13 Adam Yeah. Let's talk to Jenny who's 18. Jenny?

1:06:17 Caller Yeah.

1:06:18 Adam What's up?

1:06:21 Caller You know how guys always say that their penis is going to cut off and they're just going to commit suicide?

1:06:28 Drew What?

1:06:29 Caller Their penis is going to be cut off. If their penis is going to be cut off, then they're going to commit suicide.

1:06:34 Drew Guys always say that? Adam, you always say that.

1:06:36 Adam Anyone who knows me knows.

1:06:38 Drew Yeah.

1:06:39 Caller That's the way it's going right now because I just had a kid. I've been with this guy for four years and my kid is three months and now I can't orgasm and I couldn't before. So I'm like really freaked out and I've already been stressing everything's building up and then this is just adding to the top and I'm like, okay, what do I do?

1:06:59 Drew Did you continue to have sex?

1:07:01 Adam By the way, hold on a second. Feel free to call the show and state your problem but don't start with a retarded hypothetical that no one understands. It takes the first part of your question to explain.

1:07:13 Drew You know how guys always talk about they want to kill themselves?

1:07:15 Adam I couldn't even hear what she was saying.

1:07:17 Drew I still don't quite know what that was all about.

1:07:19 Adam She feels like she wants to kill herself too because her penis was cut off. But Jenny.

1:07:25 Caller Yeah.

1:07:26 Adam You've lost your... All right. You've lost your sex drive. Is that true?

1:07:31 Caller Yeah. It's because before we used to go for like seriously like 10 hours and I'd get a whole lot of orgasms.

1:07:39 Drew Well, now you have to raise a kid. You can't just sit around and have a sexologist.

1:07:44 Adam Leave me.

1:07:45 Drew Look.

1:07:47 Caller Well, I'm on the pack.

1:07:49 Caller Good.

1:07:50 Adam Can turn your radio down, screwball.

1:07:52 Caller All right.

1:07:53 Drew Well, I'm going to talk to her again.

1:07:55 Adam I know, but did you really... We want a whole nation of tards raising kids.

1:07:59 Caller That's what we have.

1:08:01 Adam We got to move. I'm trying to think where. Mexico or Canada?

1:08:10 Caller Let me think. The beaches are better in Mexico.

1:08:16 Adam Jenny? All right.

1:08:19 Drew So, were you on the birth control pill ever in the past or any other form of hormonal contraception? So, this is maybe a reaction to that. It can also be a reaction to the pregnancy, very often for that first year after delivery, women have a marked drive in their sex drive. You also could be depressed, get a postpartum depression, and that can drop off your sex drive and affect your orgasmic functioning. So, there's a lot of things can be going on here. You need to go talk to your obstetrician about it. It's very common.

1:08:45 Adam Yeah, do you think she has an obstetrician?

1:08:47 Drew Somebody delivered that baby.

1:08:48 Adam Well, that's just a county. Jenny?

1:08:51 Caller Yeah.

1:08:52 Adam Do you have a doctor? You do?

1:08:55 Caller Uh-huh.

1:08:57 Drew Why is that so tentative?

1:09:01 Caller Because...

1:09:02 Adam Drew, look up tentative for Jenny.

1:09:04 Caller I don't know the definition of that word.

1:09:07 Adam Well, meaning...

1:09:09 Drew Why do you sound so unsure of our asking about the doctor?

1:09:16 Caller Well, if she doesn't know, then I'm gonna be pretty much left with nothing, you know? I mean...

1:09:22 Drew Well, first of all...

1:09:23 Caller I know it's not post-natal depression because I only went through that for like a week and that's already passed.

1:09:29 Adam All right. Well, you know. And what about... Are you married?

1:09:32 Caller No.

1:09:33 Adam Where's the guy?

1:09:36 Caller in a boy's home now, but he got a home pass. I hope he's not listening.

1:09:40 Adam He's... he's what?

1:09:41 Caller He's in a boy's home.

1:09:43 Adam Boy's home?

1:09:43 Caller Yeah. The Nick's house.

1:09:45 Adam But he got a... he got a pass.

1:09:47 Caller Yeah.

1:09:47 Adam So he can use the bathroom? How does that work?

1:09:51 Caller So he can use his... Well, he's at his mother's house. He gets a home pass.

1:09:56 Adam Drew, let me ask you this. I got a pass to go home. Jenny, how old is your child? Three months. Can't you give the kid up for adoption? Give it a fighting chance?

1:10:09 Caller I'm a good mother.

1:10:11 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:10:11 Caller I'm actually very intelligent.

1:10:14 Adam Sharp sharp's a whip. Tentative. So Jenny, is this guy... Who are you planning on having sex with?

1:10:22 Caller Him.

1:10:22 Adam Him. Because he's got a pass now.

1:10:25 Caller Because my baby's daddy and I love him and...

1:10:28 Adam Yeah, no. And he's getting in trouble with the law, right?

1:10:33 Caller But the thing is, like, he didn't have a father. And to him, that was really important.

1:10:37 Adam Having a father.

1:10:38 Caller Yeah.

1:10:38 Drew Yet magically, he's going to create the same thing for his child. No father.

1:10:43 Caller Or he could become a better one.

1:10:45 Adam Has anybody...

1:10:48 Drew One of those are the two possibilities.

1:10:50 Adam That's right. Or there's a third, which is he could replace the Sultan of Brunei as the richest man in the world. Jenny.

1:10:59 Caller Yeah.

1:11:01 Adam How are you supporting your child and yourself? I see.

1:11:08 Caller I used that money because sometimes the mom buys diapers and such.

1:11:12 Adam And had some car money saved up.

1:11:14 Drew Yeah, maybe raising a child is about the equivalent of purchasing a cheap car.

1:11:18 Adam I've said it many times. My parents spent upwards of $400 on me and my sister combined. Jenny? No more kids, though, right? No?

1:11:33 Drew So listen to me. It could be the normal changes of having had a pregnancy or it could be the patch you're on. In either case, you need to talk with the doctor about it because there are things they can do to help you. It's still possible that you're depressed, even though you don't really specifically feel sad. There are other things that can be part of postpartum depression.

1:11:54 Adam Let me ask you this. I don't know why it reminded me of this, but I was thinking of the hole pass with the bathroom and the kid. What's going on in this country that every goddamn bathroom outside of your own house needs to be locked up? I go to the dentist office. The guy's in a high rise in Beverly Hills. In Beverly Hills. He's right on Wilshire, right in the heart of Beverly Hills. I got to take a leak, so I come into the guys on the fourth floor and there's the men's room. I'll just take a leak here. I don't know, door's locked up. You want to take a leak, you got to go in and get the blue toothbrush. That's the male, the pink toothbrush. And you got to walk around like a retarded kid. You go to a gas station, although none of the A-hole gas stations in this Los Angeles county actually let you use their bathroom. But back when you could, you'd have to drag like a car rim with a key on it or paddle with a key on it. Can't we be trusted to take a leak? What's going on? Like what happens? Are there going to be a steady stream of folks going up to the fourth floor, the Beverly Hills, a high-rise building, the commercial building, so they can spread fecal matter all over themselves and then stab and rape somebody as they come in. Can't we just go ahead and head in and take a leak?

1:13:14 Drew And by the way, these buildings already have security guards at the front you're signing in with and calling upstairs and stuff, right?

1:13:19 Adam Every commercial building, you want to take a leak, you've got to go get the keychain from the dentist or from whoever is in that building. What the F? What is that? Is this more lawyers? What are you going to sue? Like if I just go upstairs and see the men's room and go, I'm going to take a leak, and I open the thing and I slip, I get the building now? I slipped on some bum urine? Jesus Christ. What's going on? What is happening in this god-awful country of ours that a man cannot take a leak anymore? It's become too dangerous? Is it from a legal standpoint to leave bathroom doors open? What the hell is going on? Yeah, it's strange. Everyone bring it up to whoever they need to bring it up to. I'm always the a-hole because I'm bringing it up to the dentist. Why can't you leave the goddamn door open so I can take a leak without asking for your permission? It turns you into a jackass because you're like, especially if you've got to double down. Had a couple cups of coffee, take a leak on the way in, and then you're stepping out. It's been an hour and a half later. You realize you've got to go again. It's like, yeah, I'm going to need that big novelty-sized molar with the key on it. Yeah, I got to take it. Oh, again. Yes, yes, I'll be taking a leak again. Like, I have to announce this to everybody, and then you make it. Well, I'm just washing my hands. I'm not going to go. Number one, certainly not number two.

1:14:38 Caller The hell is this?

1:14:41 Adam Alright, we'll get into this more when we come back.

1:14:44 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Loveline.

1:15:12 Adam Yeah. All American Rejects. I like this. Song. That's a little better than Asari in it.

1:15:37 Caller Yeah, I miss that better Asari, by the way. They're good guys.

1:15:38 Adam Yeah, they do, yeah. Let's see them make a little come back. Them and the Psychedelic Furs, huh? So, what was I saying?

1:15:39 Drew Lesel? Yeah.

1:15:39 Adam So, 32, and you feel much less sensation during sex recently?

1:15:45 Caller Recently, in the past, say, 6 to 8 months.

1:15:48 Drew And we established your name came from the Sound of Music?

1:15:51 Caller I'm not exactly sure what their deal was.

1:15:54 Caller Okay, all right.

1:15:56 Adam You never checked into that, huh?

1:15:57 Caller I checked into it. I've gotten a couple of different answers from the family, so not sure which one is the actual one.

1:16:03 Drew What are the other answers?

1:16:04 Caller My mom had a friend named Lesel.

1:16:06 Drew Who was named after the music?

1:16:08 Caller Who was named after the sound of music.

1:16:09 Drew Okay, all right, well.

1:16:11 Adam Close enough.

1:16:12 Caller Close enough, exactly.

1:16:13 Drew Are you on any medication?

1:16:15 Caller No, I'm not.

1:16:15 Drew Anything going on in the relationship?

1:16:17 Adam Maybe they were trying to name her Esel and her parents are Asian.

1:16:20 Drew Or French, Lisel.

1:16:23 Adam No, but they would say Esel.

1:16:25 Drew But L-E-Z-EL, Lisel.

1:16:26 Caller All right, all right, Drew.

1:16:31 Drew Yeah, so anything going on in the relationship right now?

1:16:35 Caller Actually, I moved from where I was with him and he's still back there. He's still in Connecticut. So it's been about a month and a half. But it was going on for like eight months before that. Six to eight months maybe. A lot less sensation. And I'm wondering if it's just my age, what I can do about it, that sort of thing.

1:16:53 Drew Are you getting menopausal symptoms? Anything of that sort?

1:16:57 Caller No, no.

1:16:58 Caller My periods come regularly and all that good stuff.

1:17:00 Drew And no other medication? Nothing else going on medically with you?

1:17:04 Caller Allegra, off and on for allergies, that's it.

1:17:07 Drew Allegra D or just Allegra?

1:17:08 Caller Just regular Allegra.

1:17:12 Drew You know, I would tend to look at the relationship and see what's going on there. Because it really, if you really are not, your body tells you things, particularly women, when the emotional component of the relationship is sort of not where it needs to be.

1:17:24 Adam Guys do too. It just tells them they're hungry or it's time to beat off. Yeah. Those are the main messages the male body says.

1:17:32 Drew Anything going on?

1:17:34 Caller I've been with them off and on for five years, and certainly we've had our ups and downs, but I don't think it's the emotional side. I think it's more physical on my part.

1:17:42 Drew Do you feel like something biological is going on with you?

1:17:44 Caller Yes.

1:17:45 Drew Have you been checked out recently?

1:17:47 Caller I went for like an annual about six months ago, and everything was fine.

1:17:51 Adam How do you know something physically is going on, especially with women?

1:17:55 Drew It's hard to tell, but listen.

1:17:56 Caller Internally, seriously, like internally, it's just the feeling is not there as much as it used to be. And like I'm saying, I don't know if it's my age, if I can do some certain exercises or...

1:18:06 Drew Have you had a child? No.

1:18:08 Adam Is this a long distance relationship?

1:18:11 Caller Well, it's ended since I moved away. I mean, we're talking on the phone, but we're open to seeing other people and so forth. We're not keeping it together. We were together off and on for five years.

1:18:21 Adam I think you need to find a guy who's going to rock your world.

1:18:24 Drew Yeah, I think I really have a sense that if somebody came along that you're really into this would change a little bit. I really do. And if not, then you really need to go have a complete medical evaluation. And sometimes perimenopausal symptoms can come on. You're awfully young for that, but it's possible. And it can certainly change how you experience yourself sexually or other medical conditions as well.

1:18:42 Caller Brent? Yes.

1:18:45 Adam You're 24. What's up? Good.

1:18:49 Caller I had a question about, I was reading about smart recovery as opposed to AA.

1:18:56 Drew You mean rational recovery?

1:18:57 Caller Yeah.

1:18:58 Adam Hold on. Are you on the speaker phone?

1:19:03 Caller No, I'm on my cell phone.

1:19:04 Adam Alright. Continue.

1:19:07 Caller I'm in Oxycontin addict. I've been clean for about 31 days.

1:19:12 Drew Yeah. Well, just stay with traditional 12-step right now. You're not in a position to be making decisions. Let's put it this way. In terms of what's considered standard of care, in other words, by your insurance company and by the state review agencies, basic 12-step for an opiate addict would be considered standard of care.

1:19:32 Adam What's smart recovery?

1:19:33 Drew These are other variations on 12-step themes. Really, when people do rational recovery or smart recovery well, they end up doing the same thing as a traditional recovery program. Stick with what is known as the best thing that's available, that has the highest probability of being effective. Really, for an oxycontin addict, you need to be in a very structured, preferably residential kind of model for many months.

1:19:55 Adam What is smart recovery? I guess the beef that a lot of people have with the 12-step program is that it seems to be religious.

1:20:03 Drew Precisely.

1:20:04 Adam So, smart recovery would be sort of the atheist.

1:20:07 Drew There are attempts to get that piece out of it. It's a misconception. Really, all that higher power stuff is really, ultimately, just an attempt to either just give people the sense of security and faith that things will work out, that they can be powerless over these things, their disease, and if they need be a relationship with some idealized other, if that's important to them. But the real thing here is just feel secure and have faith that letting go and experiencing the powerlessness won't destroy them.

1:20:37 Adam But don't you have to do this in all facets of life, you know? I mean, when the president is giving a speech and he's saying, God willing.

1:20:44 Drew You have to use your own interpretation.

1:20:46 Adam Yes, the Lord will seek divine mercy on it. You have to just, you're constantly doing that as a semi-atheist or at least a thinking man in this society, right? Just sort of pull God out, put nature in or spirituality in or whatever it is.

1:21:02 Drew And there's nowhere more than a recovery where you've got to make it your own. It's there to help you go through the process, that's all.

1:21:08 Adam All right. I can't talk about it. I can't take another coup's call, Drew.

1:21:13 Drew Come on, come on.

1:21:14 Adam Find me a big jug call.

1:21:15 Drew We don't got one.

1:21:16 Adam And by the way, I announced to the phone screeners a good year ago, I wanted some big jug calls back on the air and we've gotten two in the last 40 months. Let's talk to Lauren, who's 15. Lauren? What's up?

1:21:32 I'm going out with this guy and he's two years older than me. And we've been going out for now two weeks, a little over two weeks. And we've had sex. But the other night he was over and we were with a couple of friends and they were in the other room. And we were about to like just we weren't going to have sex, but we were just going to just we were kissing and it was going to get more serious. And he he said, bring your friend into it or bring my friend. And he's like, bring her into it. I want to I want her to double team with me.

1:22:08 Drew And I just was very sweet guy, very perfectly reasonable, very nice, compassionate guy.

1:22:15 Yeah. And so he just and he kept on and I just kept saying no because I didn't think that was right.

1:22:21 Drew And Lauren, this guy's a dick. Get rid of him. I swear to God you will ruin the day.

1:22:29 The thing is like, he took my virginity so it's kind of hard.

1:22:34 Drew It is difficult, but you made a mistake thinking this guy's going to be around for a long time.

1:22:40 And he the thing is like, and then a week after.

1:22:42 Drew If you've been listening to the show for a while, we opened in the first hour. We made the sort of statement that the way people should approach relationships is cut your losses. All relationships that aren't working. Cut your losses. Don't go, well, I took my virginity. I got to make it work. I realize what's going on here and cut your losses.

1:23:04 Adam Can you do that? Don't get caught up in this. He took your virginity BS. He's an a-hole. Okay. Any extra hour spent with this man is a wasted hour.

1:23:18 Drew And it sounds like dangerous to you. Is it dangerous to your emotional health, your physical health?

1:23:23 Adam He doesn't love you the way you love him. And that's unfortunate, but that's all right. It happens to everybody.

1:23:29 Drew Well, not everybody, but you learn. It happens to a lot of people.

1:23:32 Adam Well, everybody has a little unrequited love in their day, right?

1:23:37 Drew That isn't reciprocated.

1:23:38 That's very common. And I just said, would you care if we brought your friend into it? And he's just like, no, I would feel uncomfortable.

1:23:46 Drew You know, whatever. The point is, it's all about him. He doesn't care what you want anyway.

1:23:51 Adam Yeah, and in two weeks in a relationship, this guy's bucking for a threesome.

1:23:55 Drew It's ridiculous. You tell him... When a 15-year-old is 17, you gotta tell your parents.

1:23:59 Adam Well, she's not gonna do that. Just break up with the guy. Just listen to us. Drew's a genius.

1:24:06 Drew So is Adam.

1:24:07 Adam That's all mine. I only said that so Drew would say so is Adam.

1:24:10 Drew But he got terribly, terribly high last night.

1:24:12 Adam What are you gonna do, Drew? There's a lot of peer pressure going on in this Hollywood party.

1:24:17 Drew I noticed that.

1:24:18 Adam I didn't want to get stoned, but you know, they hand that little bong down.

1:24:21 Drew Was it a bong?

1:24:22 Adam It was a miniature bong.

1:24:23 Drew And why did you have to run in the bathroom? They're their own house.

1:24:26 Adam They didn't run since one is galloping running.

1:24:28 Drew Okay, you skipped. All right, here we go.

1:24:30 Adam We'll take a little break, we'll be back.

1:24:35 Caller Love Lines with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:24:45 Adam Hey, Loveline, everybody. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. When we left off, we were speaking to Michelle. Michelle is 32. She enjoys anal sex. Michelle?

1:25:00 Caller That's me.

1:25:01 Adam You have a boyfriend?

1:25:02 Caller No.

1:25:03 Drew Do you have trouble getting guys to do this with you?

1:25:06 Caller No, actually, I find that most guys want to do that. I typically will save it for someone that I really like.

1:25:12 Drew Save it? But it's something you really like, though.

1:25:16 Caller Yeah, usually it's something that I tend to take charge over more than they do.

1:25:21 Adam Right. And then really answer, Drew, is why you're saving it for some guy that you really like when you really like it. You know what I'm saying?

1:25:31 Drew It's for you, not for him.

1:25:32 Caller Right. But you have to be the right kind of people to get guys to do this.

1:25:37 Drew I know she's not there. I need something to learn.

1:25:43 Caller You've been...

1:25:43 Caller No...

1:25:43 Adam .living.

1:25:44 Caller Um, I'm...

1:25:46 Adam No.

1:25:46 Caller I... Really?

1:25:48 Adam And how do you prep? Like, if you know there's going to be a night of anal ahead of you, what would you do?

1:25:55 Caller I don't do anything.

1:25:56 Drew She just goes right ahead.

1:25:59 Adam No, uh, don't want to move your bowels or anything earlier that night or...

1:26:04 Caller No, I would think if they'd be more cautious, but no.

1:26:06 Drew Do you have the guy wear a condom?

1:26:09 Caller Yeah.

1:26:10 Adam Yeah.

1:26:10 Drew Good.

1:26:11 Adam And you're not, uh, self-conscious at all? I mean, you know, I would... I would give myself a good working with the, uh, loofah, for instance. No. Well, you might be self-conscious because your, your cheeks are spread and your anus is gaping and the guy poking his penis in, in your... Well, everything goes on somebody. I mean, like, put it this way. If I had a nice, uh, lovemaking session and we were done and I was gonna use the bathroom, I would pro... And I was going number two, I would close the door behind me. You know what I'm saying?

1:26:48 Caller Well, I guess what I'm saying is that I actually like it. And I'm more, a little bit more intrigued as to why guys think it's such a big thing, because I'll talk to guys that are just absolutely bewildered if you like it, meaning they're always trying to get their wives to do it, or if you can take it more than once, or... I mean, I'm not a guy, so I don't know what the difference is in terms of how they feel that area versus the other one, but...

1:27:11 Adam Well, some guys like it and some guys don't.

1:27:13 Drew A little bit, but no guys are really way into it.

1:27:15 Adam Michelle doesn't track.

1:27:17 Drew Right.

1:27:17 Caller She's not a good tracker.

1:27:19 Adam Is she?

1:27:19 Drew Well, she's got kind of her own agenda going.

1:27:21 Adam Is that what that is? Yeah.

1:27:25 Drew She keeps going back to, well, I want to know.

1:27:27 Adam I want to know... She wants to know what? Here's the thing about anal sex. The guys... Okay. There are a percentage... Let's try to work the percentages out, Drew. Anal sex, 75% of guys just basically want nothing to do with it.

1:27:48 Drew Yes.

1:27:48 Adam And not their cup of tea.

1:27:49 Drew Right.

1:27:50 Adam And I know that sounds like a majority of guys, but it is. I mean, if you had four guys in a room, three guys would just... Maybe they tried it, but it's not really... Not on their radar.

1:28:01 Drew In that three would be couldn't care less and guys that couldn't care less and guys that absolutely don't want it.

1:28:08 Adam Yeah, I'm not saying all those 75% are repulsed by it. It's just not their cup of tea.

1:28:14 Drew Couldn't care less.

1:28:14 Adam Not interested. Then there's the 25% who are into it. I would say that... I would say that 5%... No, let's see. I would say of that 25%, 15% of those guys are into it for this sort of domination. Like, I want to nail you in the ass and the more you don't want me to do it, the more I want to do it. That those guys would be sort of scared away, not necessarily scared away, but they would run out of steam if they had a woman every night saying, uh-huh, uh-uh, wrong place. Put it here. Right?

1:28:54 Drew Yep.

1:28:55 Adam So there's really just, I would say about 10% of guys who really just flat are into anal. This sensation. And if you want it every night, I'll give it to you every night. And if I hook up with a woman who's into it, God, more power to me. Right?

1:29:09 Drew Game on.

1:29:10 Adam Right. Do we agree on this, Drew?

1:29:12 Drew Yeah.

1:29:13 Adam How come we always agree on our percentages?

1:29:15 Drew Because they're right.

1:29:18 Adam Yeah. You guys hear that? We're right. Selena?

1:29:23 Yes.

1:29:23 Adam You're 22? What's up?

1:29:27 Caller Last night you were talking about how the younger a child is, the more things affect them.

1:29:31 Drew Yeah.

1:29:32 Caller And I was just wondering, I just got divorced last month and my daughter's four. And how that really affects a child.

1:29:41 Drew And she hits a girl?

1:29:42 Caller Yes.

1:29:44 Drew It will affect her. You need to get a stable male figure in her life. And she will always idealize dad and always have feelings about herself and her self worth based on the fact that dad could leave. That will always affect her.

1:30:01 Caller Daddy is always going to be the better parent.

1:30:03 Drew Well, there will always be that whole thing. He will be idealized. But more importantly, she will feel bad about herself because on some level she feels she caused his departure. And that will stay with her forever. So she needs to get some sort of ongoing quality relationship with a male that will slowly integrate a more realistic sense of herself in relationship to a man.

1:30:24 Adam Yeah, it may not be all that bad, Selena, but you getting pregnant at 16 or 17 is probably not a great thing.

1:30:32 Drew And the fact that her dad left, too, Selena, I bet. Did that happen?

1:30:36 Adam Yeah. All right.

1:30:37 Drew It's so interesting. I was watching the Michael Jackson things again tonight and his wife, the blonde woman, the two of his kids, she was like, I don't understand why people could say I'm abandoning my children. And I thought, OK, her dad was gone. She never had a dad, I guarantee it. Or he was horribly abusive. And then he was gone. And her mom departed. She had the exact same thing happen because she can't even perceive what it does to a kid.

1:31:01 Adam You watch Jeopardy and say that about Alex Trebek, too. I mean, any TV you watch, right? You watch cartoons and say that Bugs Bunny's parents are alcoholics. No, no, no.

1:31:10 Drew We're talking about the cheap.

1:31:11 Adam Yes. No, of course. Yes. Anyone who thinks that's OK had that happen to them.

1:31:17 Drew Because they can't perceive it.

1:31:18 Adam And they're defending it.

1:31:19 Drew But they cannot perceive how horribly damaging it is. And that's, Selena, that's you. Your dad left and it's affected you. You picked the same guy. And if you don't want that to happen to your daughter, you know.

1:31:29 Caller Well, I mean, it was a lot healthier for me to leave than to stay with him, definitely.

1:31:34 Drew But you picked another guy just like dad. And that's your legacy. And that's what you're transmitting over to her now.

1:31:41 Caller All right.

1:31:42 Adam So there you go, Selena. There. Sleep well.

1:31:46 Caller All right.

1:31:46 Adam Well, listen, baby, it's not a death sentence. You do well. Don't pick any more losers. Take care of your daughter. Don't have any more kids. How many kids you have?

1:31:56 Caller That's it.

1:31:56 Adam That's enough. Good. And this guy's down the road. He's out of...

1:32:00 Caller He's in the military. He's in Kuwait.

1:32:02 Adam Good. Well, maybe I'll get shot over there. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

1:32:09 Drew Find a stable guy. Not just don't keep trying to solve your dad problems.

1:32:13 Caller Mm hmm.

1:32:17 Adam All right.

1:32:18 Drew Let's quickly talk to Scott.

1:32:19 Caller Yeah.

1:32:20 Adam All right.

1:32:21 Drew Scott?

1:32:24 Adam Scott?

1:32:25 Best Of Yeah.

1:32:25 Adam You're 24. What's up?

1:32:27 Drew Yeah.

1:32:27 Best Of I just think your percentages on the guys who like anal sex are a little low, like way more guys are into anal sex. Every guy I know is... They love it. Maybe it's my group of guys. And me personally, I had a girlfriend and at one point that's all I wanted to do.

1:32:47 Adam Well, yeah, I could see if it's something that only you wanted to do, then it would seem like it would be a higher percentage. I'm not saying... I'm saying 25% of guys are really into it and do it regularly.

1:33:03 Drew We're talking about 50 million people.

1:33:06 Adam It's a pretty good chunk of society. Now, I'm not saying, as I stated, I'm not saying that the 75% who aren't into it think it's yucky or scared of it or haven't even or haven't tried it. I'm just saying it's not something that they're really into, part of the regular thing.

1:33:21 Best Of I just think with a lot of percent of the guys who, you know, they try everything else and they got to take it to the next level. They want to at least, you know, experience everything. And I just, every guy I've talked to, it's like, I mean, that takes it up a notch. He's not tracking.

1:33:39 Adam Scott's an idiot. All right, listen, we got five, we got five guys right here. Let's, let's be honest. It's a bit embarrassing.

1:33:46 Drew Scott's into it.

1:33:47 Adam I'm not counting. Six guys. I'm, I'm saying, counting Andy and Brian and Anderson, who, you know, I've tried it, but I'm not into it.

1:33:58 Drew Show of hands, people who aren't really into it.

1:34:02 Adam Andy's into it.

1:34:03 Caller It's four out of five. All right.

1:34:05 Adam So four out of five over here. All right. Well, that's a little less. That's 20 percent.

1:34:09 Drew That's the number.

1:34:10 Adam Yeah. But even, even a security guard, Andy, I mean, you're into it, but I'm going to get too personal here. But is this on the menu every, every time you're intimate? This is, this is, this is Easter and your birthday, right? A little more once a year. Yeah. That, that, that's what I'm saying.

1:34:30 Caller We're talking about with girls too, right? Not with guys.

1:34:32 Adam Yeah. Oh, Anderson. Sorry, buddy.

1:34:33 Caller We're talking about with guys.

1:34:34 Caller I know.

1:34:34 Adam That was unfair. That was unfair of me.

1:34:36 Caller All of you.

1:34:36 Adam That was unfair. You're right. I owe you an apology. We'll be back.

1:34:40 Caller All right, guys.

1:35:07 Adam Well, that's it. The best of- I want to thank everyone who made the show possible and say until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:35:28 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, January 22, 2004