Episode 1000587797039

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:04 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Lisa Loeb and Ian Zieringer here tonight. They are, well, they have a couple, actually Lisa's got a food project that we'll talk about in just a minute or two, but they're both collectively talking about the new Spider-Man animated Spider-Man DVD, which is now out 13 episodes. It's all here and this is, I was a big fan of Spider-Man growing up. As a matter of fact, a friend bought a DVD of the old one like bootleg and saw it the other night and was kind of trippy. Yeah. Did you guys, were you fans of the first animated Spider-Man?

1:51 J. Jonah Jameson?

1:52 Adam Yeah, it's first off, Parker? Serious 60s influence going on. Just the background was just a kaleidoscope, just basically mushroom freak out, kind of 60s strawberry alarm clock thing. He'd just be going through the New York skyline and the skyline was just a guy took mushrooms and fell asleep in the park is basically what it looked like. But a good swinging jazz song and theme, does this have the swinging theme?

2:21 It's got a swinging theme but it's not the same being that there's a connection with MTV. There's a lot of more.

2:29 Guest It's techno. It's techno.

2:32 Adam Sure.

2:32 And the animation is a lot more impact.

2:35 Guest Yeah, it's crazy. It's called 3D animation, but it's not actually 3D like wear 3D glasses. It's more like very artistically done where it actually seems 3D. Seems 3D.

2:45 Adam Is it just me or is all that stuff seem to be disappointed, disappointing, like when you put the 3D glasses on or like even looking through, even when you look through binoculars, you end up having to close one eye and hold it sideways. And it just seems like, like I just did this the other day where someone handed me binoculars, like these are $700 binoculars. I was sitting at the end of a table. It's like, wow, it's like the guy who's 12 feet away is seven feet away. Oh my God. It's as if I'd moved five feet closer to him. Like it's never, it just, it never seems to pay off. Not this.

3:20 This is good stuff.

3:21 Drew This pays off.

3:22 Adam This pays off because you don't have to wear the dorky goggles and stuff. That's what I'm saying.

3:26 Drew The DVD is coming out tomorrow.

3:28 Guest Tomorrow it's coming out.

3:29 Drew My kids are gonna watch this.

3:31 Adam Yeah.

3:31 Guest I'm gonna watch. I'm gonna get a copy of it. I'm gonna get a bunch of copies of it.

3:34 Adam Yeah. It's all, now do you guys have nieces, nephews, children's, whoever who could appreciate that?

3:41 Guest I have a one year old niece and I don't know if she's going to watch it yet.

3:44 Adam She will though.

3:45 Guest One day she will.

3:47 Adam Yeah.

3:47 I have some teenage nephews and nieces.

3:49 Adam They're gonna be into it?

3:50 Oh, absolutely. They already are. They watch it on MTV.

3:54 Adam All right, so you're a hero, but do they remember you from 90210? Were they too young for that?

3:59 Yeah, I think they were a little too young for that, but being that it runs in perpetuity on, you know, in syndication, it's...

4:04 Guest Ageless.

4:05 Yes, yes. But I am not.

4:08 Adam You know, the thing is is you look good.

4:11 Guest Thanks.

4:11 Adam You don't look, see, here's, there's a couple, there's two problems when things just run in perpetuity and syndication. One is, is if you had a crazy, funky hairdo. Yeah, that always haunts you. And you didn't go too, you didn't go crazy.

4:23 I had a mullet there for a bit.

4:26 Guest But it was a soccer mullet. It was more like the cool soccer mullet.

4:28 Adam Sports mullet.

4:30 Drew That's kind of age appropriate.

4:31 Guest Don't you think like hockey sort of, soccer mullets are okay?

4:33 Drew If there is such a thing.

4:34 Adam Yeah, yeah, you want a little something hanging down outside of your helmet, but you don't want your bangs in front of your face blocking, blocking the puck view.

4:41 So you guys are real nice.

4:42 Adam Little hockey mullet. No, but a sport jock mullet. Not, not Hesher. Not Hesher mullet. You see what I'm saying? And another thing you don't want is for you to be a wreck now, like for people that look at you. Yeah. People look at, you know, like when they go, Oh, Oh wow. Eric has struck. Ooh, Christ. What happened? What happened? Jesus times a bitch. Like you see guys.

5:01 Guest He's frozen in time. He's frozen in time.

5:04 Adam You're frozen.

5:06 Guest He looks great from really far away with those binoculars. You could turn them backwards and he would look perfect.

5:12 Adam That's what I want. Like inverse binoculars where people that were four or five feet away looked like they were miles away. That would be a great life, Drew.

5:20 Drew You have that with your hold button.

5:22 Adam And Lisa Loeb not only has a CD that's coming out in what? A few months?

5:28 Guest Actually, that'll be coming out probably in March, I think. March, April.

5:31 Adam And you and Dweezil, Dweezil's your husband, right?

5:34 Guest No, no, no, no. He's my boyfriend.

5:35 Adam Oh really?

5:36 Guest Yes. I know. That's it? Some people are married and some people aren't.

5:40 Adam I know, but you guys have been serious for a long time.

5:42 Guest I know. Now I feel like I'm talking to my mom.

5:44 Adam Come on, honey. It's time for you to settle down.

5:46 Guest Come on, what's going on?

5:47 Adam What's going on? Yeah, what's wrong?

5:48 Guest Let's talk about this.

5:49 Adam Yeah, it seems like you guys have been together for a long time, right?

5:53 Guest We have, and so we decided to make a TV show instead.

5:56 Drew Instead of a marriage.

5:57 Guest Yeah.

5:58 It's safer.

5:58 Adam You know what's weird is I never thought you guys were married until you did a TV show together. Is there some sort of law that you have to be married to do like a couple shows? We've been Married for years.

6:08 Dating anyway.

6:09 Adam Yeah, we consummated Very serious. All right, so you guys are very serious. Does he not want to get married or do you not want to get married?

6:16 Guest We both have been mainly focusing on our show. We've both been in the studio recording separate albums. He doesn't want to?

6:25 Adam Which is it?

6:25 Guest Or I don't want to?

6:26 Adam You don't want to.

6:27 Guest I don't know, you know what? We'll have to have him on and we can all discuss it with him. Yes, I think that's a good idea.

6:32 Adam You give him six more months and then he's out and then you're on to Ahmet.

6:36 Guest Well, he's actually getting married.

6:38 Adam Oh, he is?

6:38 Guest Yeah. Who's he marrying? I don't know if I'm supposed to talk about this on the radio.

6:42 Adam Is it someone we know?

6:43 Guest Yeah, actually I can talk about it. I think it was a magazine. He's marrying Selma Blair. Oh, really? Who's very sweet, yeah.

6:50 Adam She seems sweet, but it seems like a crazy coupling.

6:53 Guest It's fun. It's pretty.

6:54 Adam All right, good. Drew, have you married anyone famous? No, me neither. All right, so anyway, now that show is coming out.

7:04 Guest On Friday night.

7:05 Adam Yeah, I just saw a promo on it. What is it, Food Network?

7:08 Guest It's called Dweezil and Lisa, very original title. And it's a show that starts Friday night and we travel around playing music and recording and playing golf and hanging out with friends. And it's basically, I'm not supposed to explain it this way, but it's kind of, actually I won't explain it this way. It's food, food just comes up all the time. We're both obsessed with food. We love cooking. We love baking. We get to go into other people's kitchens and learn how to bake, learn to bake from our mothers, have parties that have to do with food. Like we have a pancake party.

7:38 Adam You seem like a hell of a couple, kind of couple who probably want to get married.

7:41 It's driving me crazy, you know, I think for...

7:43 Adam So just traveling, playing music.

7:45 I think for like these crazy ideas about TV shows and I rack my brains about something creative, something that I've never done before. No, no, no, I'm just saying, and what works is what's light.

7:56 Guest It's what you love. Well, we love food. I love food a lot.

7:58 Adam You got to love music, you got to love food.

8:00 Guest And so, yeah, we actually went into a food network.

8:02 Adam Love common law marriages.

8:04 Guest Common law marriage, common lodge marriage is fantastic. But we were obsessed with food and we went into a food network to talk to them about something we were doing with music, actually, baking pies on stage during shows. And they said, well, have you guys ever thought about having a show about food? Because we're completely obsessed with food and watch Food Network constantly.

8:25 Adam It's a good time, by the way, for ideas. I'm just saying, TV shows, like, I mean, growing up, there was just the big three. And if you had some sort of show, like you and your dad owned a chopper shop and constantly fought, what are you going to do? Or, you know, you like food, you're going on the road, whatever your outlet is, whatever your idea is, it's like there wasn't any place for it. It's like, look, go get a three camera sitcom, work that out.

8:52 Drew On the other hand, ideas like, now stay with me here, we're in a concentration camp. In a zany group of prisoners of war camp, come on. Stay with me, stay with me.

9:01 Adam Cookie Nazi generals.

9:03 Drew Sure, yeah, great ideas like that.

9:05 Guest Colonel Klink.

9:06 Adam Yeah, he goes, he's an astronaut. He finds the genie on the bottle. And by the way, do you have to go to the moon and then come back in order to find a bottle washed up on the beach or couldn't you just like going to the beach? Like, we have to do the whole NASA thing or couldn't you just be a guy who likes a little sun on a weekend?

9:22 Drew It couldn't be somebody who was washed up after a shipwreck. Right, all right.

9:26 Guest And packed enough clothes for many, many years.

9:29 Guest Oh yeah, all right.

9:30 Adam So, DVD Spider-Man coming out tomorrow, yes?

9:34 Guest Yeah.

9:34 Adam And Food Network gone now.

9:36 Drew You get them everywhere? Any where it sells CDs kind of thing?

9:38 Guest Probably.

9:40 I don't know, what do you think? Anywhere? Where can you get these things?

9:42 Guest I think you can get them anywhere.

9:43 Drew Anywhere.

9:44 All over, wide release.

9:45 Guest Get them everywhere.

9:46 Adam Angela.

9:47 Yeah.

9:47 Adam You're 19?

9:49 Caller Yeah.

9:49 Adam What's up? Is this an MTV production, by the way?

9:54 It's actually a Columbia Pictures production.

9:58 Adam Cause, well then they may have a chance to make some money.

10:00 Guest Hey, 19.

10:01 Adam Go ahead, Angela.

10:03 Well, me and my boyfriend are having sex and you know, I'm on birth control and everything, but we're not using any kind of a condom. And I guess, you know, I'm still kind of just freaked out to the fact when he goes inside of me. And I was just wondering, someone had told me like one time that if you like try to pee after sex, if you're able to pee, that'll like get it all out.

10:25 Guest Is that true?

10:26 Adam D-During is actually probably the second way.

10:28 I think it's farting is what really helps most.

10:30 Adam It's gas and during.

10:31 Guest You have to be very careful with that actually. You should use the restroom after you have sex.

10:35 Drew You can pee to reduce the, and actually this has never been borne out scientifically and people debate whether this actually works, but there's a prevailing wisdom that you urinate after sex to help reduce the risk of a urinary tract infection. But the sperm that's in you is in you.

10:50 Guest And it goes in a different area.

10:51 Drew Yes, it goes inside your body is not coming out. The stuff that falls out is all excess. You are on the pill, you're protected, you're not overweight.

11:00 I'm like 5'9, and about 165.

11:06 Adam Hold on, I got to do the radio math. 5'9, 165. Give her three, bring her to the side, give her three times. Okay, I got 5'7, and 3'16. Oh, yeah, yeah, they always go down. No, no, you go down. 5'7, and 3'16, 179.

11:30 Drew Yeah, so Angela on six.

11:33 Adam Yeah, that's the radio math.

11:35 Drew Angela, you may want to talk to your doctor. The only thing that could reduce or increase the risk of pregnancy is your sort of overall body weight. Sometimes at higher weight ranges, the birth control pill can be a little less effective, but generally it's approaching 100% effective. So that's it.

11:53 Caller I don't know if this really helps you there, but like I heard, well actually I didn't hear, but I was like, some days I'll wake up. I take my birth control at like 12, 30 usually, but some days I'll wake up at like one. If you take it like a half an hour later, some days no.

12:07 Guest You should take it at a time that you know you're gonna be awake every day, especially at that age, because if you get pregnant, you're gonna have some other things to do.

12:13 Adam You don't want to put that kind of pressure on yourself to wake up by 1 p.m. Come on, you're only human, baby. You need at least 17, 18 hours a day.

12:23 Drew 30 minutes is not going to make a difference. You're nearly 100% protected with the pill, so please.

12:28 Adam One o'clock, what time do you go to bed? And by the way, we could hang, because I can pull this off on the weekend every once in a while.

12:35 Caller Well, my boyfriend usually gets off work at like two o'clock and I get off work at 11, so I'm usually up till three o'clock every night.

12:44 Drew What are you doing?

12:45 Adam Getting another test and out that birth control. You know, no one ever argues with me on the radio math, by the way. I usually, because I don't go too far. You say five nine, 165, I'll put you down around five seven and change and 170s, high 170s. If I got into the 190s, 205, 55, there'd be objections. I think actually I'm kind sometimes. I think there may be closer to 185 if they're coming in at 165. It's basically the same thing. The radio math is looking at someone's driver's license. You see someone's driver's license that says 125 pounds. Go ahead and make it 140.

13:26 Guest At 10, 15, 20, 25 pounds.

13:29 Adam That's the radio math.

13:29 I like to see that formula to see how you do the math.

13:31 Adam That's the radio math. And I would reckon that most people's driver's licenses are at least 20 pounds off one way or the other.

13:40 Guest Mine's about seven pounds over actually.

13:42 Adam Oh really?

13:43 Guest Yeah, I just wanted to make sure in case I gained weight, it would still cover me.

13:46 Adam 10 pounds. You're a pixie. I'm like, I've got at least 20 something. I'm like 180, 176, 180 or something.

13:53 Drew The TV show here. You're examining one another's driver's licenses. Perfect. It's very fascinating.

13:59 Adam This is C-list celebrity driver's license starring D-list celebrity Adam Carolla and his E-list celebrity sidekick Dr. Drew. Today's guest, Ian Ziering and Lisa Loeb. Let's see the licenses. We shoot our wad in the first minute and a half of the show and then it's like 27 minutes of us looking at each other in strays. Oh, brown eyes, huh? Huh? I did not know that.

14:23 Guest Correctional glasses.

14:24 Adam Oh, right. Crystal.

14:30 Hello?

14:31 Adam How far was that phone from your head?

14:34 It wasn't that far. Okay.

14:36 Adam Seemed like it was a great distance. You're 13. What's up?

14:40 Caller Oh, nothing much, just hanging out with my best friend, listening to some of my lines.

14:46 Adam See, this is the kind of excitement we can expect on a C celebrity license. If I'm 180, as I'm 195, easy. 197 or something.

14:57 Guest So what's going on?

14:59 Caller Oh, nothing much. I'm just talking to you guys. I wanted to tell you guys my story and ask a couple of questions.

15:07 Drew This is where you have to do that.

15:09 Caller Do you want the long version or the short version?

15:13 Adam Well, I think it's too late for the short version. I think we're at least into the medium realm. We've crossed over into medium and we're heading toward exhausting. Hey, give us the medium.

15:26 Caller Okay, the medium. All right, well, when I was little, my mom and dad got divorced, right? When I was five, my dad had molested me until I was 10 and he beat on me, right? And then I moved to Colorado with my mom. And then my grandma recently died and we moved up here to Indiana. And my brother had come to take us, right, up to Indiana and move us.

15:54 Drew Had come to take her?

15:55 Adam To take you and your who?

15:57 Caller Mom, my mom.

15:59 Adam Your brother's taking you and your mom somewhere?

16:01 Caller Yeah, to Indiana.

16:03 Guest Yeah, they're in Colorado, they're moving now.

16:05 Adam Right, when you say your brother came to take you, does that mean he has a truck or is he supporting your mom?

16:12 Caller How old is he? He's 24.

16:14 Drew All right, that's not sad.

16:16 Guest So he came to pick you up?

16:16 Drew Yeah, and then?

16:17 Caller Yes, he came to pick me up.

16:19 Drew Let's cut all the way to the chase. What are the questions about tonight?

16:23 Caller Could our love ever survive and-

16:25 Drew Whose?

16:27 Caller Me and my brother.

16:28 Drew You and your brother. Chase. Is he your full brother? Half brother. So you have the same mom?

16:35 Caller Yes.

16:36 Adam What do you mean your love?

16:38 Drew And you've been having sex with this guy?

16:39 Caller We've been messing around, like we had sex and-

16:43 Drew How old is he again? He's 24? And you're 13? Okay, Crystal, absolutely no way.

16:51 Adam You- Not true, you're not romantic. Come on, buddy. Are you both-

16:59 Drew Same mom, same mom.

17:01 Guest They're related, they're brother and sister.

17:03 Adam Hold on a second, Crystal. I know they're half, he's a half, whatever. Is it-

17:07 Drew This is a abused 13 year old who's being taken advantage of by some also abused 24 year old or a sociopath or whatever he is.

17:14 Adam Let's put it this way, 24 and 13 regardless of, even if you weren't related, would be absolutely out of the question. Now it's-

17:23 Drew Out of the question. And then she actually at 13 being a sexual abuse, surviving, having sex with anybody is going to be a bad time.

17:30 Adam Yes.

17:31 Drew No matter who it is under what circumstance. So it's just a total meltdown disaster.

17:35 Adam Yes.

17:35 Drew So.

17:36 Adam And somehow making them both being the offspring of the mother somehow ups the ante if that's possible.

17:43 Guest Does your mother know about this? Does your mother know about this?

17:47 Caller She had just found out.

17:50 Drew And what's her reaction?

17:51 Adam She's still vomiting.

17:52 Caller Well, she doesn't know what to do. And she's protecting my brother from going to jail. Right.

17:58 Drew Which is what he.

17:59 Caller For a little while.

18:01 Drew Yeah, for a little while, because he, I guarantee you that you're not the first 13 year old. He's plucked.

18:05 Adam Well, they have other sisters.

18:09 Caller I don't have other sisters, but he has a fiance supposedly.

18:16 Adam So listen, Crystal.

18:17 Caller Yes.

18:18 Adam Let me just, just listen to me. I'm a genius. You understand this?

18:21 Caller Uh-huh.

18:22 Adam Okay. Okay. So your family's sick. It's a super albino white trash family. Your mom's horrible.

18:29 Drew It doesn't matter what the circumstances are. They're very, very sick situation.

18:32 Adam Your mother's horrible. Your father's horrible. Your brother's now horrible because of this. Everyone's horrible except for you. You're just a victim. But don't worry. You will be as horrible as they are one day if you stay on this road.

18:44 Drew Or find more horrible guys. Or find more horrible guys.

18:47 Adam Yes. You have a horrible life of cranking out a bunch of horrible kids and getting strung out on a crystal meth and living in trailers and getting beat on with ropes that your boyfriends use to hold their pants up. It's gonna be a horrible life. Do you understand me?

19:02 Drew Unless. No doubt. Unless you seek that. You seek that when you're a trauma survivor like this.

19:10 Adam You just have to throw yourself on the mercy of this show and some therapy. And A, no more with this brother of yours. This is an abomination. You understand? You believe in God? No. Okay, me neither. But if there is a God, he hates this kind of stuff.

19:26 Guest Well, you probably hate this kind of stuff. That's why you're calling.

19:28 Drew No, she's in love with him.

19:30 Guest Oh, you're in love with him?

19:31 Drew She wants to stay with him.

19:32 Adam She knows there's something wrong, though.

19:34 Drew Yeah, I know, but she's been abused since she was five. She can't, her boundaries are so skewed that it's just no way to tell what's what.

19:39 Guest How can she find somebody to help her?

19:41 Drew That's the interesting question.

19:42 Guest If it's not her mother and if it's not an older brother.

19:45 Drew Maybe Department of Social Services. You really need to get the system involved.

19:48 Well, isn't your mother forbidding this?

19:50 Caller I've already been in the system before. When I was in Colorado, I got put in foster care. And I don't want to do that to my mom because my mom is dying and I need to MS multiple sclerosis. It attacks the nervous system.

20:08 Drew Yes, I know what MS is.

20:09 Caller It starts attacking a brain.

20:12 Adam He's a doctor, that's right. Is that your mom?

20:14 Caller No, that's my best friend.

20:16 Adam Oh, you're not having sex with her, right?

20:18 Guest How about other family members outside of the immediate family or friends?

20:21 Drew Yeah, but the problem with Crystal is she needs help. She needs work. More than just getting out of there, she needs.

20:26 Adam Well, let's just do like a sinking ship kind of damage control kind of stuff. Don't get pregnant. You can't get pregnant. What, you're having sex with your brother or your half brother, right?

20:36 Caller Mm-hmm.

20:37 Adam Oh, what are you using for protection?

20:39 Caller Condoms, birth control and KY Plus.

20:44 Adam KY Plus?

20:44 Drew It's just another spermicidal thing.

20:47 Adam Oh, really?

20:48 Caller Oh, good luck.

20:49 Adam It tastes like hell, by the way. I had no idea what that was for. Crystal?

20:53 Guest Yes?

20:55 Adam God bless you for using 70 kinds of birth control, but the big problem is if you're 13, this guy's 24, and he's your brother!

21:02 Caller I know.

21:08 Guest Is this a real call?

21:09 Adam Yeah, this is.

21:10 Drew This is what happens when people are badly sexual abused and put in a system.

21:13 Adam And this is, by the way, this is why your biological father deserves to have this rusty sprinkler key just put in one ear and out the other. Absolutely.

21:21 Guest So again, what can she do?

21:23 Adam Yeah, well she can't do anything unless she's gonna do it. I hope that your mom, on behalf of your mother, can you stop this relationship? You have a very sick mother who I'm sure this is making sicker.

21:36 Drew Here's the only thing you can do really.

21:38 Adam Well, let her answer this. What about that, Crystal?

21:42 Caller Well, it's just really hard. I mean, like-

21:46 Adam Doesn't this drive your mother crazy?

21:49 Caller Yeah, and I know she's, it's hurting her a lot. And I've talked to her about it. And the thing is, my brother comes over every weekend, you know, to play paintball with me and the whole entire family that we have, right, out at one of my aunt's house. And it's like, every time I just get close to him, it's like I can feel those vibes and there's no way to stop them.

22:16 Drew Yes, there are ways to stop them. I know you can't stop them, but I understand.

22:20 Adam There are other ways to stop it, which is him being put behind bars, really.

22:23 Drew Which is where he needs to go.

22:24 Adam Where he gets to play grown up paintball with older gentlemen.

22:28 Yeah, yeah.

22:30 Adam Big house paintball, they call it.

22:32 Drew I'm not sure it's paint.

22:33 Adam Crystal, would you listen? Here's the thing, Crystal.

22:37 Drew What have you been addicted to, Crystal? What kind of substances have you used? You got addicted to anything yet?

22:43 Caller Yes.

22:43 Drew All right. What was your drug of choice?

22:46 Caller Weed.

22:48 Drew Were you an alcoholic, too?

22:51 Caller Not really.

22:52 Drew Not really. Why don't you go to a 12-step program? That's something you can do for free. Get yourself a sponsor and get engaged in some sort of process of growth and some help with setting boundaries with your life because this is completely out of control and it can be... You're not going to live to see 30 or 40 years of age on the path you're on right now. It's going to be a mess.

23:14 Adam Just listen to Drew. Would you please? You're calling the show for a reason.

23:17 Drew MA or AA, go to 12-step, go to meetings every day, throw yourself in the mercy of that process, get yourself a sponsor. That's something you can do for free and sometimes that really helps with these kinds of situations. All right.

23:27 Adam Spider-Man out on DVD, by the way. Tomorrow, y'all.

23:31 Drew I wish I could call in Spider-Man situations like this.

23:33 Adam This is about what it means. Oh, my God. Oh, that brother. Oh, I just with the paintball over at the aunt's house. Like, here's what I'm saying. Like, you know, I make fun of the races, but the white man still has still can trump. We can we can we can outdo you. I mean, we may not be as consistent, but when we're when we're on.

23:55 Drew Very creative.

23:56 Adam Very creative. I mean, when we get that super white trash thing going, look out. Oh, oh, that mother. Oh, that horrible father. Oh, that horrible brother. All right. Is that you're in love with a guy who's a criminal?

24:10 Drew Is your brother? You're 13. Been abused by your father.

24:14 Guest But she did call in though. She did call in. So she knows something's wrong.

24:19 Drew Well, she wanted us to tell her. Do you remember what the question was? Can't tell us.

24:23 Guest Can she still be in love or something?

24:24 Drew Can our love survive?

24:26 Guest No, it cannot survive. It should not survive.

24:27 Drew There is no love. This is not a love relationship. And that's again part of having been sexual abuse. She misreads all the normal cubes.

24:34 Adam Yes. Lisa Loeb here. You ought to cover that, Lisa, on the next scene.

24:42 Drew Oh, I can hear it now.

24:42 Adam It's acoustic.

24:45 Drew Well, set the scene for it.

24:50 Adam It's a porn movie. See, she's singing about Junior, who's having sex with the mom and the sister. It's a whole Taboo thing. In the movies, it's very glamorous, very glamorous. It's just in real life.

25:23 Drew Is Ron Jeremy the guy or?

25:24 Adam Ron is actually in the movie because there's a union rule that says Ron Jeremy must be in every porn movie. All right. Well, let's take a little break. Ian Ziering, Lisa Loeb here tonight. The Spider-Man DVD is coming out tomorrow. That's what they're here for. We'll take a quick break and then we'll lighten it up.

25:41 Guest Fair enough. Hey everybody, it's Love Line.

26:39 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1.

26:41 Guest Ian Ziering is here tonight. Lisa Loeb is here tonight. They are both voices on the Spider-Man DVD, which is out, all 13 episodes, out tomorrow, Tuesday. That's, we're in January 13th already?

26:43 Adam Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

26:43 Guest And then Lisa and Dweezil got themselves, that's actually Dweezil and Lisa. It should be your name first. It's alphabetical order, it's okay. See, if you're married, you get your name first.

26:45 Adam It's really a small thing, it really doesn't matter. All right, well you just, you tell me when you've had enough.

26:47 Guest Okay, I'll let you.

26:49 Adam Sometimes a guy needs a little fire when he realizes, you know, swar.

26:51 Drew Always guys do.

26:52 Adam Swarthy gentleman with a velvety tongue. Knockin on the door. Man who knows how to sing the theme from Taboo 2.

27:02 Guest That's very impressive, I have to say.

27:04 Adam Oh, it is. It is. You could easily, you should do an entire album of porn covers.

27:09 Guest That's a good idea. In fact, we'll talk about that later.

27:12 Adam Why not?

27:13 Guest I'm serious, did you hear that song?

27:14 Adam Maybe over a glass of wine. Dweezel.

27:16 Guest Right?

27:16 Adam Dweezel. Maybe over a glass of wine. That's right.

27:19 Guest A glass of wine. A glass of wine. Maybe over a box of wine.

27:25 Adam That's right. Big, two and a half liter size. All right, let's talk to Bobby with an eye, which always scares me. Bobby?

27:34 Yeah, hi. I'm a long time listener, first time caller.

27:38 Adam Great, you're 16.

27:40 Caller Yeah. That's true.

27:43 Guest Right, really mature.

27:44 Adam Yeah.

27:45 Caller Your friend. Huh?

27:48 Adam What's up?

27:49 Caller My friend recently had sex with a condom that she had in her wallet. She had it in there for about four months, but she never really took it out. She was just wondering if it would weaken the condom so it would break so she could get pregnant.

28:05 Drew Well, not those Trojan condoms, they never break, but listen, it's advisable to keep them not longer than about two weeks in a hot space like that.

28:13 Caller Two weeks?

28:13 Guest Can you keep them in your refrigerator for longer?

28:16 Drew Yeah, no, the thing is, in a guy's wallet, because it's against his rear end all the time, he's sitting on it, and a woman's wallet would be a different thing. Or in a glove compartment, not more than two weeks sort of thing.

28:27 Guest What about a bedside table?

28:29 Drew That's fine. It probably could last quite a bit longer, but just as a rule of thumb, they say about two weeks.

28:33 Is there an expiration date stamped on the box?

28:35 Drew There are expiration dates on condoms, but it's, you know, on the order of years.

28:38 Adam But if they don't fail, they don't fail.

28:41 Drew Yeah, that's right. Did it work?

28:44 Caller I don't know. She told me if it broke.

28:47 Adam All right. Look, don't I want to take secondhand calls from her friend and use some condom she's had on?

28:52 Drew Here's the bottom line. Here's the bottom line. Keep the morning after pill around. Soon enough, that pill is going to be available over the counter without a prescription. We're just on the eve of that now. And if there's a condom problem, then you've got the morning after pill available.

29:03 Guest Get the big box of condoms.

29:06 Adam Yeah.

29:06 Guest The huge box.

29:07 Adam You get married, you don't need the condom.

29:09 Guest So she's ready. If you're going to have sex, you've got to be ready. And if you're going to have sex, go on the pill.

29:14 Drew I've been doing some work, that's true, although that doesn't protect you from the STDs and stuff. That's true. I've been doing some work with the Trojan people and God bless them. They are trying to find condoms that kids will use. Right. What ever it is they want to do, whatever people want, they should like speak up about it. What would we? Adam and I think we have the condom loader because that's really the main limiting factor is guys breaking the rhythm to put the condom on.

29:37 Adam Guys have to practice. And by the way, the Trojan people upset about the BCS standings and not being number one. I mean, do they affiliate themselves with any college team? And if so, wouldn't they be the USC Trojans?

29:47 Drew Of course.

29:48 Adam Okay, so the whole company is pretty upset about it. I'm just thinking you got to like the college team that has your name on it.

29:55 Drew Of course. And your brand on the side of the helmet.

29:59 Adam Yeah, what the guys need to do is they need to get the need. Next time you're at the gay bar, grab a handful of the condoms that are in the jumbo size fish bowl.

30:10 Guest On the bar, right.

30:11 Drew Well, multicolored a little are weaker.

30:13 Guest Right, like balloons or something.

30:16 Adam Take them home. And here's the difficulty guys do is they don't drill. They're not good at it. So what it is is guys, you know, twice a year, I mean, the guys that aren't having regular sex meet some chick at a bar. They have a few cocktails. They stumble home. Next thing you know, you're having a strange sex with a strange person. You got a little couple of wine coolers in you. You're fumbling for the condom. The nerves are going. And meanwhile, the penis, the erection is going away while you're attempting to put it on.

30:46 Drew I say-

30:47 Guest It's very sexy.

30:48 Adam Yeah, where the guy's trying to shove himself up, trying to get it into-

30:51 Guest Fantastic.

30:52 Adam Trying to stuff his penis into a condom.

30:55 Drew And like scene on the condom, you know what I'm saying?

30:56 Adam Spray it on.

30:57 Guest Spray on's a good idea.

30:58 Drew Spray on condom.

30:59 Guest Like pre-sex spray on, like before you go out that evening.

31:02 Adam Yeah, or even a dip.

31:04 Guest Yeah, that's a great idea. Like sort of a, what's that called with the-

31:07 Drew Neoprene?

31:07 Guest No, they have- You heat it up and you dip cheese into the-

31:10 Adam Yeah, it's fondue.

31:11 Guest It's fondue, like a fondue, like a penis fondue.

31:13 Adam Yeah, penis fondue, Drew.

31:14 Guest Penile fondue.

31:15 Adam Drew, what do you think?

31:16 Drew Penis fondue, of course.

31:18 Adam All right, here's my point. I know this sounds kooky, but I am. Go back, go back.

31:24 Caller I can't get over the last comment. The penis fondue dip. Okay, Lisa.

31:29 Guest Well, it came from your spray on me.

31:30 Adam Go back to high school.

31:31 Caller Yeah.

31:32 Adam You're in high school. You wanna wear a condom, you're not good with it. So here's what you do. You get a handful of condoms, you go home, you masturbate. You don't finish yourself off. Somewhere in the middle, you stop and you try to put a condom on and continue.

31:46 Guest It's like a whole training session.

31:47 Drew Yeah, just keep training yourself. Take it on, take it on.

31:49 Guest You know, you should put that on TV as like a special infomercial.

31:52 Drew No, no, no, it's just a TV show.

31:53 Guest Yeah, it could be a TV show and it could be sort of the early morning ESPN workout, but it would be the late night condom workout.

31:58 Drew The interstitial for the wallet, look at the driver's license of C-Celebrities.

32:02 Guest Exactly.

32:03 Drew Wouldn't it be good?

32:04 Caller You know, I think most young boys probably do practice with that. Do they? Well, didn't you? Did you put a rubber on before you needed to?

32:11 Adam No. Never?

32:12 Caller True?

32:13 Adam Never practiced.

32:14 Caller Am I the only one in this room?

32:15 Drew It's a genius that I moved, though. I gotta tell you. Plus, it keeps things sort of contained.

32:20 Caller Well, because I didn't know what it was.

32:22 Adam No, you wanted to try it. That was smart. You and Howie Mandel.

32:25 Caller I had older brothers, too.

32:26 Adam Howie Mandel put one on his table. Because he had older brothers. Oh, older brothers.

32:30 Caller So they were in the house and...

32:31 Adam There was condoms. Yeah, all right.

32:35 Guest That's a great idea.

32:35 Adam But then the point is, when you were with a woman, you...

32:39 Caller There was no fondling. I was smooth.

32:41 Adam Pow. That's what I like. Liz, let me picture that.

32:44 Drew Yep.

32:49 Hello?

32:50 Drew Yep.

32:50 Adam What's up?

32:52 Guest Hey, Liz.

32:53 Okay, I have a little question that's kind of weird, but I want to know why it is that, like, I think about sex a lot, and I'm like, always horny, like, all the time.

33:04 Drew But you don't act on it?

33:06 Well, I do. Like, I'm trying not to, you know, because I don't like to, you know, I'm trying to stay away from it.

33:11 Drew What do you... So you have sex with multiple partners?

33:14 No.

33:14 Drew What do you do? Chronic masturbator?

33:17 No, not even.

33:18 Adam All right, so it's nothing?

33:21 Guest That's all you do is think about it?

33:23 Yeah, I think about it a lot. And like a few times I have, you know, masturbated, but I hate doing that, you know?

33:27 Drew Why?

33:28 Guest Why?

33:28 Cause it's just, I just don't like it, you know? I'm 15, I don't need to be doing that, you know? But I think about it so much.

33:36 Drew Well, that's probably the only way to sort of bring that tension down a little bit.

33:40 Guest It's kind of like when you're on a diet and that never works. Like if you want chocolate cake, have a little chocolate cake and then after a while, you might not want it so much anymore cause you already had it. No. Oh really?

33:52 Adam You get sweet tooth.

33:53 But you can't.

33:54 Adam You're beating up all over the chocolate cake.

33:57 Is that what you meant? But what's.

34:00 Adam Full frosting on that chocolate cake. What's your initials, baby? Let's see if I can get, no, I just got, I got the L and just half the other L. All right, hey, Liz, I don't know what's going on in the background, but I'm insulted that it is. All right.

34:16 Drew What you're experiencing, Liz, is completely normal.

34:18 Adam You're fine.

34:18 Drew No, you're fine. Don't worry about it. It's all good. Don't feel guilty. Don't feel bad.

34:22 Adam That's nothing.

34:23 Drew Nothing. You're fine. But that's crazy.

34:25 Adam Okay, but what about that? Which is, so there's two schools of thought. One is, is you're feeling, you're having these feelings, the little pent up tension, little sexual tension. So you blow a little steam off by masturbating. The other thing is, so that's a slippery slope, as I found out.

34:41 Guest Cause like you might grow hair on your hands or whatever?

34:44 Adam And before you know it, that once a week maintenance gets down to once a day, and then it's twice a day. Next thing you know is, well, as long as my stepmom's in the kitchen, I think I can squeeze one off in the entry hall. And then it's trouble. Then you're banished to the garage.

34:58 Drew Yeah, that, oh.

35:00 Adam I mean, hypothetically.

35:02 Drew If you get into excessive sort of compulsive behavior, that's one thing, but for her to get in a pattern of sort of release is good. It will, sexuality, sexual expression will increase desire a little bit and then it will sort of bring it down a little bit after that.

35:15 Adam Really? Who knows about that? Is it studies about that?

35:21 Drew Most of the studies have been done, say, on testosterone levels and masturbation. So guys, the levels go up a little bit of first and they kind of level off. And then they'll go down when you get to that hallway.

35:32 Adam All right, but 15-year-old girl, what is, that's, by the way, that's how you know you have a prom, when it's like anything, where you start, you know, it's one thing to do a little gambling, pick a few football teams on the weekend. It's then it's that part where you're going to the track at your lunch break and the next thing you know, you're flipping quarters and playing three card Monte. That's what happens with masturbation.

35:55 Drew All about motivational priorities of the brain. We haven't figured that out. What sets the motivational priorities? How do they get set? And once they're set, what do you do with them? Because you know, once you're in that mode, chocolate cake mode, masturbation mode, gambling mode, your brain is in a biological state where it requires the behavior.

36:12 Adam Oh, I see.

36:13 Drew Hey, there's no way to bring that down.

36:15 Adam What about just practice? Is there practice? Because I've only, I probably masturbate like several hundred thousand times in my life, but it's only been like three times. I can remember where I went, ah, ah, I'll wait till next time. I only got like three of those like right in action.

36:28 Drew That was when you're profoundly depressed though.

36:31 Adam Ah, just sometimes I was tired or I remembered I did it five minutes earlier and I got disgusted at myself. You do, once in a while you do that with eating too. You go, geez, I could really go for it. And then you go, wait a minute, I just ate. Oh wait a minute, I'm eating now.

36:43 Caller You just don't have the stamina.

36:44 Adam Yeah, you don't think about it. But Drew, should you practice like doing pushups with your brain? You know, and by denying yourself. Should you think about, should we all practice thinking about chocolate cake and beating off and then going, no, I'll not do it.

36:59 Drew There's no evidence in working the addiction field that that does anything. In fact, it makes me feel worse.

37:04 Adam Good, I'm not doing it then. We gotta take a break then because I gotta take care of some business. You're coming with me, Drew. All right.

37:11 Drew Oh, together.

37:12 Adam Yes, that's right. Ian Ziering is here tonight. Lisa Loeb is here tonight. The new Spider-Man DVD coming out. The animated series that is 13 of them all together coming out tomorrow. And we'll be right back.

37:25 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

37:46 Adam 1-800-LOVE-191 Hey yo, it's Loveline. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Lisa Loeb is here tonight. Ian Ziering is here tonight.

37:56 Guest Thank you.

37:57 Adam I miss Beverly Hills 90210.

37:59 Caller Oh, thanks.

38:00 Adam I really do.

38:01 Caller You and me both.

38:02 Adam Yeah. You're set for life, right? You got a money for doing that show. Yeah. You still get residuals and stuff, right?

38:09 Caller Yeah, there's a few bucks that comes in.

38:11 Adam Yeah. Do they not have that in cable, Drew? How does that work?

38:15 Drew We only did 350 shows. What are you complaining about?

38:17 Adam That's the other show. I got another show I don't get paid on.

38:19 Guest I went on your show. I went on your show on MTV.

38:21 Adam Yeah, see? We're not getting paid for that. But that doesn't still air. I do shows that air.

38:27 Guest And it was on MTV.

38:29 Adam I created a show or helped create a show that airs and I don't think I get paid for it.

38:33 Drew Boy, you a chump.

38:34 Caller You gotta own a piece of it.

38:35 Adam Yeah, well, it just, you know, you gotta have the right management, Drew. You know, you got the same one.

38:40 Drew Yeah.

38:41 Caller You both need to fire that guy.

38:43 Adam Well, I did. But Drew ain't that smart. Jason?

38:47 Drew Yeah.

38:48 Adam You're 19? Yeah. What's up?

38:52 Caller I was wondering if it's possible to be, to cross a dick from drugs to like a relationship.

38:59 Drew Routinely, when that is the number one cause that people relapse out of treatment. You were specifically, if you're somebody who's come out of treatment, directed not to start a new relationship for at least a year. Yeah, one does. Yeah, one does, then everyone relapses.

39:17 Adam I thought there's like a riddle, like we like cross a dick with a pineapple and then when the guy's in orgasm, penicillin comes out. Like, I thought it was gonna be funny.

39:27 Drew Usually he's saying it's a compulsive relationship. Most relationships, new relationships, early in recovery are just hostage situations. People just, again, using relationships as a way of regulating their feeling state, just the way they use substances. The thing about relationships, usually you get two people early in recovery, is recovery's not going well and they take each other down. The other thing is that when you're in a relationship, if you're trying to grow, it's very difficult. Both people must be growing simultaneously. If one is trying to grow in recovery and the other is sort of stuck, they're both going down again. So it's an extremely treacherous thing to do in early recovery.

39:58 Guest Oh, he has another question.

40:00 Caller What happened was I was in rehab for about three months and then I got out and I was out for about six and I knew this girl before and she didn't do drugs or anything. And I figured it'd be a good relationship to get into because I waited a while and we've been going out for about a year and a half and we broke up.

40:21 Drew Here's the deal. What did your sponsor say about the new relationship?

40:25 Caller He didn't really say anything.

40:27 Drew Anything you figure is gonna be colored by your disease. You see, because again, this is back to those motivational priorities. When you've been a cocaine addict.

40:34 Adam How long has he been out of rehab?

40:36 Drew Six months.

40:37 Caller No, I've been out of rehab for a couple years now.

40:39 Drew I thought you said the relationship started when you were six months out.

40:43 Adam Yeah. Are you still with her?

40:45 Caller Yeah, well, we got back together because we broke up. I broke up with her about a week ago and now we're back together.

40:52 Guest I don't understand the timeline.

40:55 Drew I don't either.

40:55 Guest Three months of rehab.

40:56 Drew Be that as it may, it's gonna be a tumultuous ride for him. It's gonna end up in him using again.

41:01 Guest So what's a better thing for him to do? Be by himself and sort of feel that?

41:05 Drew The other thing is, because he began, he's chosen a chaotic enabling person probably. And yeah, the better thing is to listen to his sponsor, stay focused on his recovery. That's the important thing right now.

41:15 Adam Listen, you may feel that.

41:16 Drew He'll magically attract healthier people once he's been sober for a while.

41:19 Adam Non-English speaking prostitutes for a couple of years. I mean, this 19 year old man. Well, it is healthier, right?

41:25 Drew Of course, Adam, yes. You weren't a cocaine addict.

41:29 Adam No, I mean, the guy's 19. He shouldn't be maybe in a serious relationship now because there's a chance to sort of knock him off balance. But he's a man of passion, as you are, Drew.

41:40 Drew Oh, I see what you're saying. He should just frequent.

41:42 Adam Once a week, you get a little rubbed with a happy release and it takes the edge off and you're able to focus on your sobriety. Seriously. Drew, okay, if you had a patient.

41:53 Drew Yeah, here's the deal.

41:54 Adam Would you rather redo that for a year or get in a sort of tumultuous relationship?

41:59 Guest Thank you.

41:59 Drew And that will become another compulsion. That's how they get more of a compulsion, it'll be sexual compulsions. 80% of addicts have features of sexual addictions.

42:09 Guest What's wrong with a hobby?

42:10 Adam Yeah, I agree with Lisa.

42:12 Drew The prostitutes again?

42:13 Adam Yeah, well it's a business for them, but for you it's a Hobby. It's vocation versus a have vocation, as they say. All right, let's talk to Anton, his 15. Anton?

42:24 Oh, hey.

42:25 Adam Hey.

42:26 Hey, Drew, you're a genius, Adam, you too, Drew, y'all, fashion man, Spider-Man was a Masterpiece of a movie, man, I loved it.

42:36 Adam Well, we're talking about the animated series, by the way.

42:39 Oh yeah, yeah, I saw that too, and the movie was great. I'm a big fan. Glad you liked it.

42:44 Adam It's coming out on DVD tomorrow, Anton.

42:46 Really, yeah, I might even buy it, I don't know.

42:49 Drew You might, of course you're gonna buy it.

42:52 Adam Go out and do that. What's your question, Anton?

42:55 Oh yeah, I was just wondering when you guys are coming to Stanford, cause I live at Palo Alto pretty close and I just wanna see you guys.

43:03 Adam All right, well we're coming there.

43:04 Drew Wednesday, a week from tomorrow.

43:06 Guest Are y'all going there to speak?

43:08 Drew Yeah, I don't know what, it's around, usually around eight o'clock, I don't know what auditorium we're in, but we're there.

43:14 Guest That's nice over there.

43:16 All right, nice. All right, I'll be sure to come by. I might have to cut school and stuff though, but yeah.

43:22 Adam You go to night school, Anton?

43:24 Drew Eight o'clock at night.

43:25 I'm going to high school.

43:26 Drew Eight o'clock at night, eight o'clock at night.

43:28 Adam Usually, by the time the streetlights come on, the last session is out of class. Final period.

43:33 Drew Final period is usually around 730.

43:35 Oh, I thought you meant 8 a.m.

43:37 Adam No.

43:38 Oh, okay.

43:39 Adam I don't do anything before 10 a.m. I'm like that caller wakes up at one. All right, Anton, we'll look for the moped parked out front of the auditorium. We'll know that's yours. All right, what are we doing here? One more call before we go to break? Let's talk to Kathy. She's 23. Kathy?

44:00 Caller Yep.

44:01 Adam What's up?

44:03 Caller How are you guys doing?

44:04 Adam Good.

44:05 Caller Good. I have, there's this guy that I'm kind of been dating off and on, I guess, for the past three or four months. And I recently just began sleeping with him and we slept together probably about four times. And it kind of always seemed a little weird because it didn't seem like he may have been into it, kind of not. And I guess my question is, I kind of thought he never was able to orgasm because I just kind of got the impression I never really asked him about it until recently. And I-

44:31 Drew Is it really something you could have vaguely get an impression about with guys?

44:38 Caller It was, I just, for some reason I just can kind of tell it seemed like he wasn't really, he was enjoying it, but he wasn't completely enjoying it.

44:46 Guest It doesn't sound like she's very happy.

44:48 Drew But we were just wondering about her-

44:50 Adam I'm trying to figure out the part where the guy was able to pull this off.

44:53 Drew Yeah, where she's able to wonder whether there was an orgasm. Usually a guy's a produce.

44:57 Caller You can pretty much tell. I mean, that's the thing, I was like, I-

45:00 Drew Kathy, Kathy.

45:01 Adam You can definitively tell.

45:02 Drew You can absolutely categorically tell.

45:04 Adam Well, it's like saying, I've stood in the bathroom, but I couldn't tell if he actually took a leak or not.

45:08 Drew Yeah, exactly.

45:09 Adam Yeah, I think you can.

45:11 Drew Yeah, you can absolutely, if you can't tell, then that's what we're concerned about.

45:16 Caller Okay, I can't, okay, yeah, I pretty much knew that he was.

45:19 Drew Anderson makes a good point.

45:20 Adam Peter Anderson does make a point, which is, if he's wearing a condom, then he can fake it. Was he wearing a condom?

45:26 Caller No.

45:27 Adam No.

45:28 Caller So I actually asked him about it then, just recently, and he said, well, I think it's because I masturbate too much. And so I was wondering if that actually is an excuse, or I kind of started to hear from his friends.

45:40 Drew You're fat.

45:41 Adam Drew, please, please, Drew.

45:44 Drew No, only if he masturbates really excessively, like to the point of self-harm.

45:49 Adam Even the guys that are...

45:51 Caller He's very sexually active, though, I believe, because I was recently talking to him, I mean, not right now when he's with me, as far as I know, but we're not really exclusively dating or anything like that.

46:02 Adam Hold on, hold on. I just want to... First off, let me tell you about masturbation. It's like saying, the guy can't do 10 push-ups because he exercises too much. No, that guy can do 100 push-ups. A guy who's used to beating off 10 times a day, 11, ain't nothing for him. That's right. He's used to something coming out of his penis every 10 or 15 minutes during waking hours. So that's a retarded excuse that everyone seems to sort of buy into. Number two, you just don't sound sure of yourself at all. You don't know if you're exclusive. He may be dating other people. He doesn't seem like he's enjoying it very much.

46:38 Caller I just know he doesn't orgasm.

46:40 Drew Yeah, you got to find out what's going on with this guy. Is he on medication? What is going on? Is he just not into this relationship?

46:45 He's a very straight-laced guy.

46:48 Caller The thing is, I've been talking to his friends on this topic specifically, but they are saying that he does take, he used to at least when they were around him a lot of times, he does take women home a lot or used to.

47:00 Drew He's just not into this.

47:04 Adam Yeah, this guy's a real cocksman. He bangs everything that moves. Anyway, sweetie pie, I wish you two the best of luck. Dump him, move on. We'll take a break. Lisa Loeb, Ian Ziering here tonight, and we'll be right back.

47:15 Guest Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up?

47:21 But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

47:29 Guest 877-889-DATE.

48:00 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LLV-E-191. Ian Ziering is here tonight. So is Lisa Loeb. Hello. They both do some voices on the new Spider-Man DVD set, which is coming out. It's got 13 episodes. It's like, not quite 3D, but 2 1⁄2D.

48:23 Drew Gives that impression of CD.

48:25 Guest Double D, triple D.

48:26 Drew Don't say it around there.

48:28 Adam I'm a boob man. That's all right.

48:29 Guest Bouncy, bouncy.

48:31 Adam Yeah. Anyway, that's coming out tomorrow. Also, Lisa's gonna have herself a CD out in somewhere around March. Got a, is it a children's book?

48:42 Guest That's a children's book record and book. Yeah, I put out a children's book at the very end of last year. It's just available at Barnes and Noble right now.

48:49 Adam You don't have kids or do you?

48:50 Guest I don't. I only have a niece.

48:52 Adam Don't you have to have kids before you put out the children's book?

48:55 Guest No, and my friend, I made the CD with her. She has a two year old. And it's a little book and a CD.

49:03 Adam And what about my Lisa Covers the Porn theme?

49:06 Guest That would be great too. I think the children would love that.

49:08 Adam Well, can you sing just a little bit of He's Got It All?

49:11 Guest Teach it to me again.

49:12 Adam Okay, well, if Anderson could cue it up, we could probably do it. Again, it's made for just a lady in her acoustic guitar.

49:19 Guest I see, I could play that. I'm going out on tour starting in the middle of February for about a month with Dweezil on a band, and I could do that as an acoustic number going on for.

49:26 Adam This is the kind of thing where you give the band a break, and just a spotlight hits you, and you pull a stool up to the microphone, and you put that, I don't know what's called that bar. The capo on the frets there, yeah. You put the capo bar there, and it's sort of Joan Baez-y thing, and you do that thing with your hair, and you go, this is a number, it's pretty important to me.

49:48 Guest It's really important to me, it's meant a lot to me.

49:51 Adam Right, over the years.

49:52 Guest Over the years, and I really would like to share it with you tonight.

49:54 Adam And it goes a little something like this. No, hold on a second, Anderson. You do that really pretentious thing, that real pretentious thing where you go, and if it's okay with you, I'd like to share it with you.

50:06 Guest Right, like they might hate it.

50:07 Adam I don't know, we kind of like see the band. Yeah, so you do that. All right, do that.

50:13 Guest And if it's okay with you, I have something I'd like to share with you tonight.

50:17 Adam Perfect. All right, go ahead, Anderson. It's his mom and his sister, by the way.

50:40 Guest I could do it. I work with my vocal coach on this when I get to New York next week.

50:44 Adam Oh yes he does.

50:46 Oh yes he does.

50:50 Adam So it goes, well maybe you did, but you don't.

50:58 Drew Yeah, really hit point, point.

51:10 And when he does, he satisfies me. Yeah.

51:33 Adam Yeah, let's be strong.

51:34 Guest That's fantastic.

51:36 Adam Yeah, with the acoustic.

51:38 Guest With the acoustic guitar, maybe just a bass will come in halfway through it.

51:43 Adam And you apologize.

51:45 Drew I do. I need a Loveline CD.

51:47 Guest That's a good idea.

51:48 Drew And then Lisa can cover it on a concert.

51:50 Guest And it will mean a lot to me.

51:52 Adam Yeah.

51:52 Guest And if you don't mind, I'd like to share it with you now.

51:54 Adam Yeah, that's perfect.

51:56 Guest Perfect. That's the worst.

52:00 Adam Yeah, isn't that the most pretentious thing?

52:02 Guest Yeah, it is.

52:03 Adam If it's okay with your blessing. And the worst is when they stop.

52:06 Is it okay? Oh, it's all right if people are clapping.

52:09 Adam All right, well then I'll go on with my set. Please, you anuses. Oh, don't ever do that. Just go look. This song's really hot. You're going to dig it. You're going to dance your ass off.

52:21 Guest Yeah, you're going to dance your ass off. This is a real big dance tune I'd like to play for you now.

52:25 Drew Laugh your ass off, one or the other.

52:26 Adam Tracy? You're 16, aren't you?

52:30 Caller Yeah, I have a question for Ian.

52:33 Adam It's Ian.

52:34 Caller God damn it.

52:35 Caller What can I do for you, Tracy?

52:37 Caller Well, I first wanted to say I think you're great and I'm a big fan of 90210.

52:41 Adam Oh, such a fan. You can't pronounce his name correctly.

52:45 Caller I didn't know that. And I wanted to know if you guys had the DVD set out.

52:51 Caller You know, it's interesting. I think there's a DVD set of the show in Japan.

52:55 Guest Ooh, I'm going to get that when I go to Japan.

52:57 Caller But it's not here, oddly enough.

52:59 Drew But you couldn't play it on a Western machine.

53:01 Caller No, it's English with Japanese subtitles.

53:04 Guest You can play DVDs?

53:07 Drew Don't they have different DVD machines? They have different game boys and stuff like that.

53:15 Caller If you look on the Internet, you could probably find a DVD collection somewhere.

53:21 Adam But how many episodes were done?

53:23 Caller Close to 300.

53:24 Guest That would be a big catalog of DVDs.

53:28 Drew But in the meantime, there is a DVD coming out tomorrow.

53:30 Adam That's right.

53:31 Guest Of Spider-Man.

53:32 Adam That's right. It's as if Ian is in the room with you when you listen to this and watch this DVD.

53:40 Caller Sort of.

53:42 Guest I think that was one of the wildest things about doing the animated series was we'd all be sitting in a room kind of like we are right now with microphones and doing the parts of the characters. But then when you saw your voice, and it was a character voice slightly, and you see it with somebody else's face, like you can actually see this character speaking the words that you were in a studio speaking. It's a really bizarre experience.

54:03 Adam And you guys did it, you guys, everyone did it, because sometimes they just do a piecemeal where somebody lays down their...

54:08 Caller Most of the time we did it together. Occasions where we would do it independently of each other. I did actually, actually the one session in New York City while everyone was back here.

54:16 Adam And simultaneously.

54:18 Guest Sometimes simultaneously.

54:20 Adam Kathy Griffin, Gina Gershon is on this thing, Michael Clarke Duncan, Rob Zombie.

54:27 Guest Eve.

54:28 Adam I did the voice of Buzz Lightyear's Commander Nebula for like 60 episodes on some Disney thing and never was in the room with anybody ever.

54:39 Guest That's strange.

54:40 Adam Yeah, it's kind of weird. It's like it would probably be more enjoyable just socially, but probably easier to figure out if somebody was sitting next to you, too. That's all right. The director had me do 70 takes of almost every line.

54:54 Drew Then you'll get it.

54:55 Adam And be prepared. I had nephews. I have nephews and they were going through a Buzz Lightyear period when I was the voice of Commander Nebula, but my sister, who was their mother, was not impressed. It was like, hey, guess who's the voice of Captain Nebula?

55:14 Drew So what?

55:16 Caller Well, that's a lot. Yeah.

55:18 Adam You know, that's kind of cool for the kids? Yeah, that's all right. Anyway, you going to dad's house for Christmas? Give it up now. There's a lot of love there. I'd be going bizarre. I'd be going sick with that stuff. If I was like five and a half and somebody was doing the voice of something, I was like, oh, are you kidding me? I'm going nuts.

55:35 Guest Yeah, you'd have to meet them.

55:39 Drew I can't listen to that episode when it's just my voice, but when it's the puppet doing it, it softens it a bit. It's okay.

55:46 Adam Uncomfortable, huh?

55:47 Drew To hear it is really uncomfortable.

55:49 Adam Well, maybe we should hear that. Anderson? What'd you find?

55:52 Drew If you had a hissy, you would be out of the house. Dr. Drew in the hissy.

55:58 Adam Is that uncomfortable, Drew?

56:03 Drew That was just a little tiny piece of it, Dave. Why don't you get no play, player?

56:06 Adam It gets much worse than that.

56:08 Drew It gets that.

56:08 Adam Yeah, it's very bad. Mark?

56:10 Drew Look, mother f**ker, I'm telling you, don't be a player hater. Because when you tap her in the ass, you ain't going to be interested in Pistol Robbin no more. And the digit is Dizzle. And in the hissy for chizzy, you're going to be great on the QT. Anderson, stop it. Stop it.

56:26 Adam We, for a Cranky Anchor show, we called up some Loveline listeners and told them that we're trying to get the MTV show, Loveline, back on MTV, but they wanted Drew to be a little more urban. So if you didn't mind, we were going to record this conversation so we could play it for the MTV executive to show that Drew was hipper, younger, and more urban than they thought. That was Drew keeping it real. Mark?

56:57 Hello?

56:58 Adam You're 13?

56:59 Caller Yeah, hey guys, I just had a Germany or Florida.

57:02 Adam Alright, instead of explaining Germany or Florida, we'll just play it and then I'll explain it when we're done. Go ahead.

57:08 Caller Alright, first of all, I just want to say you guys are totally awesome, Adam. You're genius and you're extremely funny.

57:13 Adam Thank you.

57:14 Caller And Dr. Drew's a genius.

57:16 Adam Okay, good luck. When everyone's a genius, then no one's a genius, kid, you understand?

57:19 Caller It's not special anymore.

57:20 Drew Just give it to Adam.

57:22 Adam Everyone gets the gold. Everyone. First, second, third, 28th, everyone gets the gold.

57:27 Drew What's up, Mark?

57:28 Adam How are you?

57:28 Drew Germany or Florida?

57:30 Caller Alright. There's a man that faces charges after his attempt to tackle a rat problem ended in disaster when he accidentally shot his neighbor. A 56-year-old man started shooting the rat from his back porch but did not notice his elderly neighbor at 79 years old pruning her roses. One of the bullets ricocheted off of a stone and hit the woman in the leg. She was taken to the hospital where surgeons had to operate to remove the bullet.

58:00 Drew It sounds very Florida.

58:01 Guest Porch is very Florida, right?

58:03 Adam It sounds Florida.

58:04 Guest Porches are way more Florida than Germany.

58:06 Drew We would have heard of this over in Florida.

58:08 Adam Not necessarily.

58:09 Drew The rats, not the rats, it's those big, what are those things called?

58:11 Adam No, you're thinking of a nutria. Yeah, I'm not sure if they have those in Florida.

58:15 Guest I think porch is Florida.

58:16 Drew Alright, Florida.

58:17 Adam We're going Florida.

58:19 Drew Actually, it was Germany. See, I was trying to talk you out of that.

58:23 Guest Because of the pruning. And the stone.

58:30 Adam That's David Alan Grier singing the theme to Germany or Florida.

58:33 Guest It's a nice melody.

58:34 Drew Alright, well listen, you got to cover that one too, Lisa, it'd be good.

58:37 Guest Yeah, that's a really good idea.

58:39 Adam Yeah, the Germany or Florida theme, which we haven't really worked out yet. It's been some time now. We've had Pink try it. Who else did we have? Oh, uh, Toria Amos.

58:49 Drew Toria Amos tried.

58:50 Adam She tried it. She did all solid jobs, you know. I think Toria. I told her it was too much like Ebony or Ivor.

59:01 Guest Germany or Florida.

59:04 Adam I think that was Pink. Oh, that's Michelle Branch.

59:06 Drew Michelle Branch, yeah.

59:09 Caller Germany or Florida.

59:13 Drew That's Pink.

59:14 Adam That's Pink.

59:17 Drew That was Michelle Branch?

59:17 Adam Oh, was she? Well, then what was Pink? She said she was sick, remember?

59:20 Drew But what's Pink like?

59:22 Guest Sick, sick, or like ill? Hold on, I'm looking.

59:25 Adam It needs to be institutionalized.

59:26 Drew I think that was Pink, that last one.

59:28 Adam No, no, no, no. That was her.

59:29 Really?

59:29 Drew Here's Pink.

59:30 Caller Yeah.

59:38 Guest That's serious.

59:39 Adam Lisa, you have any?

59:40 Guest Germany or Florida? A little umpapa. No? Why can't I do Germany or Florida?

59:47 Drew You can, we'll correspond it.

59:48 Guest Yeah. But you're watching me.

59:51 Adam We'll turn, we'll avert our gaze.

59:53 Guest Right now? Yeah. Germany or Florida?

59:59 Drew Yeah, it's not like Bjork.

1:00:00 Adam I've got a five.

1:00:01 Guest Oh, thank you.

1:00:03 Drew Jennifer, what's up?

1:00:05 Adam Oh wait, we didn't talk to Jennifer yet. You know, it was weird as I turned around. We did avert our gaze and I looked and I thought I was looking at Lisa's reflection through the glass. But I was looking at somebody else doing something else and wondering why Lisa was holding papers up in front of her face in the real life. No, that's not Lisa. That's a totally separate person. All right, let's. What is that? I don't even know what that was. I think I hung up on somebody. Jennifer? You're 23?

1:00:34 Guest And turn off your radio.

1:00:36 Adam Yeah, what's up? You want to sing the Germany or Florida theme?

1:00:39 Caller No, I'm good. Thanks.

1:00:41 Adam OK, what's your question?

1:00:43 Caller I'm just curious if you're giving yourself an enema, what goes in the bag?

1:00:50 Guest Just everything but the kitchen sink.

1:00:52 Drew Yeah, just use fleets. It's already pre-mixed. It's tap water if you're putting something in a bag. And there's something called a soap suds enema too. But just go ahead and use the fleets. It's pre-mixed. Coffee. Coffee enema.

1:01:06 Guest Really hot, like McDonald's coffee enema.

1:01:08 Drew Prepared for Steve McQueen and cured cancer for many years. But then suddenly it became a man's food.

1:01:12 Adam Yeah, what does a coffee enema do for you?

1:01:14 Drew Nothing, zero.

1:01:15 Adam All right, so what's in the fleet enema?

1:01:18 Drew Sort of a, what's called an osmotic load. It's a little bit of a...

1:01:22 Guest Isn't it like a saline solution kind of?

1:01:24 Drew It's a little bit more concentrated in that.

1:01:26 Adam Lisa and I are going to sing the theme from osmotic load just later on in the 1145.

1:01:32 Guest My father's a stomach doctor.

1:01:33 Adam He is?

1:01:34 Guest Yeah.

1:01:34 Drew What does he say about it?

1:01:35 Guest Just talking about enemas. Well, you're supposed to do one before you have a colonoscopy.

1:01:39 Drew I had a colonoscopy about a week ago. I'll tell you this.

1:01:41 Guest It's not as bad as you think it's gonna be, is it?

1:01:43 Drew No, it was my second one.

1:01:44 Adam What do you mean?

1:01:44 Guest I've actually had a couple as well.

1:01:46 Drew I don't remember.

1:01:47 Guest I've had a couple of colonoscopies as well.

1:01:49 Drew You have? It's smart to do that.

1:01:50 Adam I thought women weren't supposed to have that.

1:01:52 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:01:53 Guest It's really not that bad.

1:01:54 Drew 50 for women.

1:01:55 Adam It's not that bad?

1:01:56 Drew At least it's got bowel problems.

1:01:58 Guest I was having some stomach problems.

1:02:00 Drew Men with colon cancer. What age? I think if you can afford it, you're not worried about your insurance covering, I think 40, 45 is the time to start getting those. So, you know, Katie Quirk has been on a rampage about this. Her husband died in his 30s of colon cancer. I think it happened. And it shouldn't happen today. It just should not happen.

1:02:19 Adam What was a good year for it happening?

1:02:21 Drew 50.

1:02:21 Adam Then it was like, guy dies with colon. Hey, you're cool.

1:02:25 Drew It's a good year.

1:02:26 Adam Yeah, bad news. Bert's dying of colon cancer is 40. Okay, well, it's a good year for that. All right, so Drew, if your insurance doesn't cover it, they charge by the lineal foot or what are they, how do they charge by? Find out what that'll run. And Kenny Hagel.

1:02:43 Drew No.

1:02:43 Caller You get what you pay for, Adam.

1:02:45 Adam I know, but I'm just saying, like, if I tell them, like, listen, I'm a carpenter, what do you need around here? I'm sure big, big place like this, probably a little laminate work to be done, some doors to be hung. You know, let's work with me just a little bit here.

1:02:58 Drew You get three estimates and throw away the top and the bottom.

1:03:01 Adam Right. Just go right in the ass.

1:03:03 Drew All right.

1:03:04 Adam So you're saying that, now, I don't know how old Ian and my, we're probably somewhere in the same neighborhood age. Why should we be going in and getting one of these things?

1:03:13 Drew You know, or at least you gotta do the stool test every year for blood. That minimum. And then every five years, the colonoscopy. The blood test? The stool test?

1:03:22 Guest Yeah.

1:03:23 Drew You don't like fishing though?

1:03:24 Guest I don't think anybody likes doing that.

1:03:26 Adam No. Or fishing around. There's a very small percentage of people that really like it.

1:03:30 Guest Yeah, they love that.

1:03:31 Adam But there's no middle.

1:03:34 Guest That's probably not covered by insurance.

1:03:36 Adam Very small group that really likes it in an unnatural way. And then there's the rest of us. But you had one. Is this because your father's work?

1:03:46 Guest Yeah, he thought it would be really fun if, no. I was having stomach problems.

1:03:50 Adam I see.

1:03:51 Guest And it's one of those things. Yeah, I'm fine.

1:03:53 Adam It's all right.

1:03:53 Guest Did that help you out? It helped me find that there was nothing wrong.

1:03:57 Adam They put you under?

1:03:58 Guest Oh yeah. I guess so, yeah.

1:04:00 Drew Yes, yes, you're out.

1:04:01 Adam Let me ask you this. Now, were you, wait.

1:04:03 Guest It's a while ago.

1:04:03 Adam How long ago did you have this stuff?

1:04:04 Guest A long, like 10 years ago.

1:04:05 Adam 10 years ago. So you weren't, you were just barely Lisa Loeb.

1:04:10 Guest Yeah, I just became Lisa Loeb.

1:04:12 Drew I remember talking to you about this, I think.

1:04:14 Guest Did we talk about a colonoscopy?

1:04:15 Drew I think you and I talked about this, but.

1:04:16 Guest I don't know, maybe not. True. Maybe so.

1:04:19 Adam You were barely, well, you've always sort of barely been Drew, but what I'm saying is, it's weirder, right? It's weird if you're Elvis or you're Burt Reynolds or something and you gotta really get this.

1:04:30 Guest Oh, I see.

1:04:30 Adam Like it's like, you gotta feel a little.

1:04:31 Guest What's weirder is that you're laughing because they put you under and it's hilarious, whatever they used to put you under.

1:04:36 Adam Oh really? It's real good? All right, I gotta go with that. You know what I'd do? I'd have a whole, you know what my scam would be? My scam would be putting people under and not putting anything up their ass. Just stay in there and then they wake up in like three hours like, yeah, everything's checked out. You're looking good. That's $2,800. That's a good scam. I could bore you with the technical data, but it suffices to say you're fine. We'll see you in another. And you're like, wow, it was better than my ass. Feels great.

1:05:03 Drew Well, now they send you home with pictures.

1:05:05 Guest Yeah, you have video tapes or photographs.

1:05:07 Drew But how do you know what your colon looks like?

1:05:09 Adam That's all right. I'll show you some cadavers colon from the sixties. You'd have no idea. You're not like, wait a minute. Mine has a jog to the left and then goes to the right.

1:05:17 Caller Is there some kind of virtual colonoscopy?

1:05:19 Drew They're nearly as accurate. They're no good yet.

1:05:21 Guest It's just, it's not that bad.

1:05:23 Adam Nothing is gonna replace-

1:05:25 Caller I had that whole body scan, the hard scan, body scan. Worthless, pretty worthless. Oh really? Of the whole body? You think it's worthless?

1:05:30 Guest See, I always think it's worthless too.

1:05:33 Caller I just think that-

1:05:35 Drew Anatomy is a tiny little piece of the puzzle. And anatomy at a single moment in time may or may not be something useful. And as a screening test, not a very cost-effective way to screen.

1:05:48 Caller They can see things that are enlarged or if it's diseased.

1:05:51 Drew No, you can't see disease. That's anatomy. You can see-

1:05:54 Adam You're dying.

1:05:57 Caller We're all dying.

1:05:58 Adam And start living, man.

1:05:59 You've got a very short-

1:06:01 Caller I'm raging on.

1:06:02 Adam What are you doing here on the radio with this Spider-Man DVD? You should be out, you should be windsurfing.

1:06:07 Drew You know they really can scream for it.

1:06:09 Guest You ride motorcycles though, right?

1:06:10 Caller I do, I ride motorcycles.

1:06:11 Drew One thing you're really screaming for is kidney cancer was extremely rare and then brain cancers, which they don't even do your head anyway.

1:06:17 Adam Oh, they don't? Did they do your head, Ian?

1:06:19 Caller No. So, no, they stopped at the neck and just above my-

1:06:23 Adam So, Drew, all this stuff, because it's important to talk about, because you do hear the commercials like full body scanning and imaging.

1:06:31 Drew It's not as good as what we use as screening techniques.

1:06:36 Adam But it's much less invasive.

1:06:38 Drew No, well, no. You still can't, you still have to do a colonoscopy.

1:06:42 Adam You do?

1:06:43 Drew Absolutely. It doesn't do anything to replace that.

1:06:46 Caller No, I had a heart scan and a body scan and it was kind of like a, you know, sitting in this big donut that would just scan my body.

1:06:51 Caller Like a Xerox machine.

1:06:52 Drew But it does not replace, the PSA is the prostate, does not replace regular physical exams, does not replace colonoscopy, does not replace functional evaluations of the heart.

1:07:02 Caller It's interesting, I was looking at my heart and he said, look, there's no calcium here, there's no sign of any-

1:07:08 Drew If you had calcium there, what would they do?

1:07:12 Caller So you better get a better test.

1:07:14 Drew That's right, you have the screening test that we normally use for a functional evaluation.

1:07:18 Caller So if I did see it, I would know. You wouldn't necessarily feel it.

1:07:22 Adam Drew, you're jealous because you don't have that doughnut.

1:07:24 Drew You should do the proper screening. If you want to do real screening, do the functional test regularly.

1:07:29 Caller What is that, a stress test?

1:07:30 Adam Hold on, I gotta yell at everybody, especially Drew though. Here's what Ian is saying. Ian is saying that a lot of people would not go, well first off, okay, it's probably overpriced and overhyped, but as the Jewish doctor said about the enema, it couldn't hurt.

1:07:45 Drew Wouldn't hurt. Although there's some question about it possibly at one point.

1:07:50 Adam What Ian is saying is, you're saying, well you should go get the test and see if you had that calcium or that plaque. Ian is saying he wouldn't have done that test.

1:07:58 Drew If he absolutely wouldn't have done anything else, then yes, get started.

1:08:01 Caller Apparently it can detect emphysema that you might know you had the beginnings of.

1:08:07 Guest Just from breathing and putting in a little...

1:08:10 Drew And if you think you see it, then what you get is the spirometry test to actually see if there's emphysema.

1:08:14 Adam Drew, how much?

1:08:15 Drew It's sort of a start. It doesn't really accomplish anything.

1:08:18 Guest Sounds like a fun day.

1:08:19 Drew It doesn't do anything.

1:08:20 Caller You know what, for 700 bucks, I walked out of there clean as a whistle and it gave me peace of mind.

1:08:24 Adam Right, false peace of mind. Your body's riddled with cancer.

1:08:27 Caller I'm telling you.

1:08:28 Drew It would be riddled with cancer, but...

1:08:30 Adam You wouldn't be?

1:08:31 Drew The point is that it doesn't, it hasn't... If it replaced everything, we just use that. But people are very confused about anatomy and function and physiology. Those are all different things. And anatomy is one little piece of the puzzle.

1:08:43 Adam All right, so look, here's the point. You shouldn't be doing it instead of doing something else. But if you got 700 bucks in the bar...

1:08:51 Drew And you definitely wouldn't do anything else.

1:08:52 Adam It's not gonna hurt you. All right, now, give me some competitive prices on the steak.

1:08:57 Drew By the way, in my world, tons, I see tons of people unnecessarily getting now the functional test because they see some calcium and it ends up not meaning anything. So hundreds of thousands of dollars are spent because they're screening for stuff, seeing stuff that really, if they'd just gone through the usual screening procedures, it would have fallen out eventually as something they needed to do or not do and it would have been done. I mean, it's like, it's not that we need better screening. You know what I mean? So screening procedures are good as they are. People just need to do them.

1:09:27 Adam Let's move forward here, but Drew, give me some prices on the ass thing. All right. And find out when the insurance does the whatever.

1:09:36 Drew Find out when they do? Probably at 50. And even then, I don't know, the non-insurance thing.

1:09:42 Adam We'll forge a birth certificate. Interesting. You'd do that, right?

1:09:45 Drew Yeah, of course.

1:09:45 Adam All right, Lisa Loeb is here tonight.

1:09:48 Guest Talking about your colon.

1:09:50 Adam Ian Ziering here, Perfect Health, the donut doesn't lie. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:09:57 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:10:08 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Lisa Loeb and Ian Ziering are here tonight, both on the new Spider-Man TV show, released 13 episodes on one or two.

1:10:25 Guest Two discs.

1:10:26 Adam Must be two, yes. DVD set, which is out tomorrow. We're also gonna hear ourselves a new song from Lisa Loeb.

1:10:33 Guest Actually, an old song.

1:10:34 Adam Oh, an old song.

1:10:35 Guest It's not, it's a song that's the theme song for the Dweezil and Lisa show. And it's also on my record Hello, Lisa.

1:10:40 Adam Oh, oh, yeah.

1:10:41 Guest And on my album Cake and Pie. So this is a, we decided to play this song. We'll come back and play new music later when it's gonna be out. But right now.

1:10:48 Adam Yes. All right, well, hold on one second. I know, that was gonna be real smooth segue there. That crapped all over it. Just like Drew did with Ian and his magic donut. Ian is not recovered yet, by the way. You owe an apology. I'm sorry. It's okay. Just blow a little smoke up where the hose goes. You know what I mean? Oh, you did? Okay, so it's cool. All right, here's what I wanna say. When the new CD comes out, like March or something like that, you can come back and give it a plug. If the show's doing gangbusters, you come back and you're still with the guy who won't pull the trigger, who won't buy the ring.

1:11:24 Drew We'll work around the door.

1:11:25 Adam Bring him, we'll work him.

1:11:26 Drew We'll get him around.

1:11:27 Adam We'll work him good.

1:11:28 Caller I didn't hear her say she wants to get married.

1:11:30 Adam She does.

1:11:30 Drew I didn't hear her say she didn't wanna get married.

1:11:32 Guest I don't know if pressuring people is really the best way to go.

1:11:36 Adam With men, of course.

1:11:37 Guest Do I wanna get married? I wanna have children.

1:11:42 Drew I heard that clock tick.

1:11:43 Guest You heard the clock ticking. Yeah, so it's very loud. It's like.

1:11:46 Adam And here's the thing about guys. They will float around as long as they can.

1:11:50 Drew As long as they're allowed.

1:11:51 Adam You reel them in.

1:11:52 Guest Well, you know.

1:11:52 Adam That's right.

1:11:53 Drew They will.

1:11:54 Adam He's gotta know. He's gotta know what he's got.

1:11:57 Drew We'll straighten him out. We will.

1:11:58 Guest Okay.

1:11:59 Adam All right. Now, now we can hear. You don't know me. That's Lisa Loeb, everybody. Not off the new CD, but we will hear stuff. But a good song nonetheless, and we'll hear stuff off the new one in about three months when, maybe two and a half when she comes back. Ian is also here, and they're plugging the new Spider-Man television show. It's a animated series, double DVD. All right, that is out as of tomorrow. Janie.

1:16:19 Caller Yeah.

1:16:19 Adam You're 19? 19.

1:16:20 Caller Yeah.

1:16:21 Adam What's up?

1:16:23 Caller Well, I just, I was just wondering, is it normal to not have a sex drive at all?

1:16:29 Adam No.

1:16:30 Caller Yeah, so.

1:16:31 Drew Did you ever have one? Did you suddenly lose yours?

1:16:33 Caller Yeah, I did.

1:16:35 Drew You did have one?

1:16:36 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:16:37 Drew And what happened?

1:16:38 Caller But I haven't in like a few years.

1:16:40 Drew A few years.

1:16:41 Caller Yeah, but the thing is, is I mean, there's someone I really like, but I just, I just have like no desire whatsoever.

1:16:46 Drew What has changed in the last couple of years?

1:16:50 Caller I don't know, I've been depressed.

1:16:52 Drew Are you on?

1:16:52 Caller So I know that antidepressants can cause that.

1:16:55 Drew Are you on antidepressants?

1:16:56 Caller Yeah. I'm on a sexer.

1:16:58 Drew All right, well that'll absolutely, that can shut you down completely.

1:17:01 Caller But I can't, my psychiatrist won't put me on anything like wellbutrin, so.

1:17:06 Drew How about serozones? Another one that won't, won't screw around with your sex drive so much.

1:17:10 Caller I don't know.

1:17:11 Drew Talk to him or her about it. It's a, it's a, it's again, it's a decision you've got to make. If your depression is severe, even. Well, cause maybe she had severe recalcitrant depression. I mean, 50% of.

1:17:22 Caller But I didn't have a sex drive before I went on them.

1:17:26 Drew But that was when you were depressed, though.

1:17:28 Caller Yeah.

1:17:28 Drew And sometimes it's hard to tell, is it the depression, is it the antidepressant, but afexor can shut you down pretty good.

1:17:33 Adam So that's a less, is a, afexor is a more potent.

1:17:36 Drew It's a pretty powerful one, yeah.

1:17:37 Adam Like cause you can supplement it with the wellbutrin stuff, right?

1:17:40 Caller If I lowered the dosage, does that make a difference?

1:17:43 Drew Sometimes it will, but how about adding wellbutrin? Talk to your doctor about that or adding something like Cyal.

1:17:51 Adam You tell them seizures, schmeeser.

1:17:52 Drew Do you have an eating disorder? Yeah, the wellbutrin can cause seizures in the setting of eating disorder.

1:17:58 Adam Seizures are one of the worst schmeeser.

1:18:00 Drew So, but even so.

1:18:01 Caller I don't want it to be on wellbutrin, but I'm just saying they won't let me.

1:18:05 Drew Again, the re, the risk is that people with eating disorders are at risk for the seizures.

1:18:10 Adam I say disorder to schmorder.

1:18:11 Drew I know you say that, but be that as a baring failure or what are called anovulatory cycles. You could get your hormones checked just to make sure that it's not related to eating disorder. The other thing is there.

1:18:20 Caller So just like, I mean, not having a period can act.

1:18:22 Adam Hold on a second.

1:18:23 Drew Yes, not having a period can be a sign that you have a baring failure.

1:18:25 Caller I say disorder to schmorder.

1:18:26 Drew I think I wish I was stuck with that. But be that as a matter of. Levitra.

1:18:33 Adam Oh, come on.

1:18:37 Drew Are you five years old?

1:18:38 Adam I'm five year old, schmierer, that's it. I say immature and mehschmurk.

1:18:44 Drew And it might help sometimes with the sex driver.

1:18:47 Adam Look, as a woman. And I don't want to speak. We have what you just sort of hold still and kickstart yourself.

1:18:53 Drew She's not saying she won't have sex. She's saying there's no sort of drive.

1:18:56 Guest But are there other things? It sounds like there's so many different things going on that she should take care of them.

1:19:02 Caller Ever been raped or anything?

1:19:03 Adam Raped, schmaped.

1:19:05 Guest Maybe she should give herself a break and not worry about the fact that she's having...

1:19:10 Caller Well, I'm gonna be moving to where this guy lives. And it's not that I don't want to have a relationship and I'm too embarrassed to just say, you know...

1:19:19 Adam Well, where does he live, by the way?

1:19:21 Guest Seattle. Moving into a city?

1:19:24 Adam Hold on, I got something to say about Seattle. Seattle, shme-attle.

1:19:29 Guest Aw, they have really good donuts in Seattle.

1:19:31 Drew They have good what?

1:19:33 Guest Donuts.

1:19:33 Adam I can get a full medical workup.

1:19:35 Guest Pikes Market. Yeah, they have some cherry, better milk bars.

1:19:41 Caller I get all heated up every time I turn up at the airport.

1:19:44 Guest Are you moving to Seattle or moving to his apartment in Seattle?

1:19:48 Caller No, no, I'm not gonna be living with him.

1:19:50 Drew The vicinity.

1:19:50 Adam All right, and are you sure he likes you?

1:19:52 Caller How are you supposed to tell someone that, oh, no, it's not that I don't like you, I just have absolutely no sex drive?

1:19:58 Adam Well, look, does he... Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, and shut up. No, it's all right, I can be rude. She needs a little kick in the pants. She talks too much. That's fine. Janie. All right, sorry, I know you're angry at me now, but are you sure he likes you and feels like this is a good thing? Cause hold on a second. I worry that Janie's got a lot of energy and she's a little nutty in that she's moving out to Seattle and the guy's like, holy Christ, I got this nut job moving out over here. He's obsessed with me. Is there something, does it feel little? I mean, is he moving her out? Is he anxious to have her move out? Is he expecting?

1:20:38 Caller Is he actually more vocal about liking me than I am towards him? He doesn't really know about any of my issues either, I guess.

1:20:46 Guest Okay, well. Should he know about her issues? If he likes her, if he's the one who's really likes her, should he say the same?

1:20:50 Adam If he really likes you, you can give him a small dose of your issues, but don't overwhelm him with it. Don't overwhelm him.

1:20:57 Guest Like you're kind of going through some things.

1:20:58 Drew Don't dump them on him. But again, revisit with a doctor. Serizone, Remeron, these medicines could also be used. Again, the depression is probably very, very severe and very serious, but there are potentially alternatives that don't screw up your sex drive.

1:21:13 Guest And she needs a doctor in Seattle too, right?

1:21:15 Adam Right.

1:21:16 Drew So she's going to be changing doctors and stuff, maybe revisit some of this stuff.

1:21:18 Adam Where are you from, Lisa?

1:21:19 Guest I'm from Dallas.

1:21:20 Adam Oh, I knew that.

1:21:21 Guest I'm from Dallas, Texas. I don't know why.

1:21:23 Adam Probably because you told me.

1:21:24 Guest Yes.

1:21:26 Adam Seems like Seattle would be a good place for you.

1:21:27 Guest Really?

1:21:28 Adam Really?

1:21:29 Guest I love Seattle.

1:21:30 Adam You do?

1:21:31 Guest They've got good donuts.

1:21:32 Adam Great donuts over there. I've been to Seattle once, actually. Enjoyed it. Yes. Oh, no, twice.

1:21:40 Guest They've got one of the best markets there, the Pike.

1:21:43 Drew Yes, the fish market.

1:21:44 Guest The fish market, but it's incredible. They have every kind of food you could even think about.

1:21:48 Drew The guy with the crazy voice throws the fish out here.

1:21:50 Adam Yes.

1:21:51 Guest And they have Greek food and Thai food and all these different booths. And one that's just cheeses and oh my God, and the best doughnut stores, like I said, like 7,000 times.

1:22:00 Adam And it's really blue. I mean, when it's not raining and weird, but it's very city-like. Like when you go there and then you go back to LA, you get angry at LA because you realize what an un-city it is, how it's sort of unusable. You got to get in your car and drive around. There's no central, you can't go downtown.

1:22:19 Like, I don't know.

1:22:20 Adam Well, you can, and actually you can a little more than you were, but traditionally, if you grew up in Los Angeles, like, at least I'm- From Jersey, but you came out here-

1:22:33 Guest Right. In Manhattan, you know, it's right near New Jersey. I mean, you know, New York City.

1:22:37 Caller I grew up about 10 miles out of the city. I was in the city all the time, though. Well, I don't like it.

1:22:42 Adam It's strange, anyone who grew up in LA realizes that downtown LA is unusable and sort of off limits. Now it's becoming more usable, but your whole childhood, you never did anything downtown, did you?

1:22:54 Drew No.

1:22:55 Adam There's no reason.

1:22:55 Caller It's scary at night, though.

1:22:57 Adam Yeah, absolutely.

1:22:58 Guest A lot of downtowns are like that.

1:22:59 Adam Drew would go to Chinatown to buy condoms when he was in high school.

1:23:02 Caller The only ones that fit.

1:23:03 Adam Because it's day. Touche, my friend. Yes. I have no idea whatever stereotype Ian is talking about, but funny, funny stuff. No, his father is a doctor in the Pasadena area. And back then, you know, this is back in the 40s, when, you know, getting condoms was a big deal. He couldn't just go in and grab a handful and pay on the way out. You had to go talk to the pharmacist. And since Drew's father worked with all the pharmacists in the area, young Drew can't go walking in and getting a baker's dozen of Chibis without them bringing up the old man.

1:23:48 Drew Even in those days, for a teenager to walk in and get a condom was a, like, a what?

1:23:54 Guest It's a major.

1:23:55 Drew They wouldn't like, they would like have to question you.

1:23:58 Adam What are you doing with all those condoms? You sell to friends? Don't I know you? Yeah, that was my impression of the Chinese shop teacher, but a shopkeeper, by the way, but he would go down to Chinatown, go to the pharmacy there where all the round eyes looked alike. He could, he could move on with impunity, buy as many condoms as he liked, and then truck them back to Pasadena. But he was a man of great passion. And so we'd have to buy in bulk because he was very passionate, still a man of great passion. Yes, Lisa? Yeah, you got lost in his gaze, didn't you?

1:24:35 Guest Yeah, I did.

1:24:36 It was incredible.

1:24:37 Adam Gaze shmaze, that's what I said. All right, Ian Ziering is here, Kahnem Schmonim is here, Lisa Loeb Schmoeb is here. We'll take a quick break, Schmake, and we'll be right back, Schmake. Loveline. Thinking about that phone number, we don't need your stinking calls. Ian Ziering is here today, never wanna be a celebrity, we learned during the bright act.

1:25:16 Guest That is out of context, we have to say that.

1:25:18 Adam Well, that's all right. It's probably a good thing for people to have that impression of you.

1:25:24 Caller I think it was Billy Mummy that first clued me in. To be on TV, be an actor.

1:25:32 Adam Lisa Loeb, is it here?

1:25:33 Guest Yes, I am.

1:25:34 Adam Now, how famous did you wanna be?

1:25:37 Guest On a scale of one to ten? No, I'm just kidding. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to be able to play music in front of people and make music and have freedom to do what I want and maybe do some acting and do some different things.

1:25:50 Adam Right, but I think what it is is I don't think the public, I think the public thinks that being a celebrity is like being an athlete and that your goal is to get the ring. I mean, you want to play in the Super Bowl. You want to make the Pro Bowl. You want to be on the All-Star team. You don't want to be riding the bench. You don't want to score eight points a game. You want to be Michael Jordan. And I don't think they realize that there's a fair amount of celebrities, quote unquote, who would like to make a living, would like to do their craft, but would like to be left alone when they go to the mall and not in a mine. I'm sure you've experienced this in your career during the height of 90210 or people just coming after you can't go places.

1:26:36 Caller Sometimes a person's enthusiasm is a little overwhelming.

1:26:39 Adam You don't feel like you have your life. I mean, I think if you're sane, you don't want to be Michael Jackson famous. You don't want to have to get together the entourage. If you want to go see a movie, you don't have to rent out the theater to see a movie.

1:26:52 Guest But I wouldn't mind having a theme park at my house or a movie theater as my, you know, the ground floor of my 30,000 square foot. It's a double edged sword.

1:27:01 Adam Yeah, Lisa Land. It works.

1:27:03 Guest It would be so they'd have the best doughnuts, it would be the cutest place. It'd be all pink, like my refrigerator.

1:27:09 Adam Yeah.

1:27:10 Guest So I know it is.

1:27:11 Adam No, Lisa. So Lisa does want that. So Drew, I know your wife wants you to be more famous than you do, but what are you? Where are you at?

1:27:19 Guest You all right?

1:27:20 Drew Yeah, I'm fine.

1:27:21 Adam You're cool.

1:27:22 Guest Then be quiet. It's just fun to have a job, you know, that you like to do and have a lot of freedom. It's really cool.

1:27:27 Drew That's where it is for me. Yeah. Freedom is an interesting impulse.

1:27:30 Adam You ready to keep going?

1:27:32 Yeah. Keep going.

1:27:34 Adam Crystal?

1:27:35 Caller Yes?

1:27:36 Adam You're 21?

1:27:37 Caller Yes.

1:27:38 Adam What's up?

1:27:39 Caller I just have a question. My boyfriend, we've been together for a long time, and there's nights where we're asleep and about half an hour to an hour after we fall asleep, he wakes up and he acts totally different. I mean, he'll just kiss me and just be totally perfect and adorable and say all the right things. And then right when we're about to get into doing something, he like stops and it's like if he realizes or doesn't know if he's asleep or awake and he goes back to sleep. When I wake him up or in the morning, he has no idea that he even did any of it.

1:28:18 Drew Well, it's interesting. So he's sort of sleepwalking. Yeah, that happens. Yeah, it does happen when people have sex in their sleep and this is sort of a version of that. And it's in the spectrum of a sleep disorder. So it's more often than not people that have had trauma issues.

1:28:42 Adam How old is this guy? Because when you're, you know, 23 and you're sleeping with a chick, you get a boner and look out.

1:28:50 Guest Sleep or not, huh? I didn't know.

1:28:52 Caller There's no bad sex.

1:28:54 Adam There's like a handful of things you can do when you're asleep and this is one of them, you know?

1:28:59 Drew Yeah, right. How old is the guy?

1:29:00 Caller 21.

1:29:01 Drew 21. Yeah. But it is still in the spectrum of sleep disorders. Did he ever have any other night terrors or sleepwalking or anything like that?

1:29:09 Caller No. He just, there's times where in the middle of me asking him like, what's wrong or did you change or why did you change your mind or anything like that? Well, before he falls asleep, he'll totally talk about something else like about a car or parts or...

1:29:27 Drew He's confused. He's a slave. It is one of those things.

1:29:31 Caller But does it go away?

1:29:33 Caller I mean, is it something he's going to always do?

1:29:35 Adam But you got to put a pillow over his head and wake him up. I mean, when he stops, yeah. Wake him up. How about just waking him up?

1:29:43 Caller When I wake him up, he has no idea what he did and he upsets him because he has, like, he'll make noises in the middle of the night.

1:29:49 Guest But she's saying she likes him better when he's waking up in the middle of the night.

1:29:53 Drew Yeah, sleep. I understand that. But she needs to wake him up at the beginning and realize if you want to get this evaluated, he needs a sleep evaluation. He has a sleep disorder.

1:30:00 Guest Is he willing to do anything about it?

1:30:02 Caller He doesn't believe me whatsoever.

1:30:04 Guest How about a video camera?

1:30:06 Caller Maybe this is something that's in your head that you're dreaming or...

1:30:09 Drew Yeah, so you're sort of a flawed guy.

1:30:10 Guest Whoa, that's weird. That's Twilight Zone.

1:30:13 Adam We've had this discussion before, the Jimmy Kimmel's done this, which is, hey, I don't snore, buddy. I don't know what you're talking about. It's like, what do you think I do? Bunk up with guys and then accuse them of snoring? That's my MO. That's my thing. I've accused 15 people in my life of snoring, 14 of them have called me crazy. That's what I do, I wake up at 4:45 a.m. and go, hey, could you stop snoring? And they go, I'm not snoring. And then the following day, they stick with it. They're like, well, listen, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't snore. Like, yeah, that's what I do. I lie there in a stone silent room, staring at the ceiling and thinking, well, if I can't sleep, whoever's near me is not going to sleep. I will wake them up and accuse them of something, perhaps rape, perhaps snoring, whatever. And then I'll carry it into the following day by sticking with my story.

1:31:05 Caller That's ridiculous.

1:31:06 Adam That's right. Has there ever been a person you've accused of snoring that didn't make any noise?

1:31:10 Drew No.

1:31:10 Adam Even if a person makes moderate noise, you'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

1:31:14 Drew Yeah, they've got to be shaking the room.

1:31:15 Adam Right. Then you have to use it with snoring. And then I like that. No, no, I don't.

1:31:20 Drew Then they're angry, too. They're angry.

1:31:24 Guest Video tape.

1:31:25 Adam You just break down and start crying. You're right.

1:31:27 Caller I'm lying. I'm lying.

1:31:30 Adam I'm lying. I'm lying.

1:31:32 Caller I'm lying.

1:31:35 Adam I'm lying. I'm sick.

1:31:41 Drew We were supposed to talk about stereotypes.

1:31:43 Adam Well, now we got to take a break. And then that's it. Let's be honest. Let's be honest. But, Lisa, you can talk about stereotypes and how much you hate them.

1:31:51 Guest I hate stereotypes. That's why I wasn't actually getting lost. I wish I were getting lost in the gaze, but I was really actually having a super PC reaction. I just can't stand it. I know, I know, and I understand. I understand we have that conversation a lot, but I just, there's something in me that just reaches out and says, no, don't say that. That's really not nice. It doesn't stop carrying on the ad.

1:32:13 Adam I say stereotypes, shmaria, shmaritype. But hold on. We'll have to continue this debate when you come back and plug your record. All right, we'll be right back.

1:32:22 Caller Here it is.

1:32:23 Adam Bottom line, it sucks being single today.

1:32:26 Guest Tons of lame people and no decent prospects.

1:32:28 Caller Call the Dateline. 1-877-889-DATE.

1:32:36 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:32:37 Caller So get your problems ready. Ready. Well.

1:32:56 Adam Well, that's the show. Next time, we'll get into our stereotype debate with Lisa, who will be back here to plug the CD when it comes out. What is out is the Spider-Man series, which is on two DVDs, and it is out tomorrow, which is the same as today. So go out and get that. Ian, thanks for coming in. Lisa, thanks for coming in. Thanks for having us. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:33:25 Guest Germany or Florida.

1:33:31 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

1:34:22 Guest Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Monday, January 12, 2004