Episode 1000587518772

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:04 Voiceover It's the Love Line, man. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician. Dishes, pies, and matala.

1:13 Drew And really, does this show have to begin? It's interrupting such a fascinating discussion about carbohydrate. I'm upset.

1:20 Adam I was explaining to Drew how you cut top plates and bottom plates when you're doing radius framing work.

1:27 Drew And I was enraptured.

1:28 Adam And the show, the stinking show.

1:31 Drew Chris, were we not having a very deep discussion about this? Yeah.

1:34 Caller Is it enraptured? You're like, uh-huh, uh-huh.

1:38 Drew Yeah. It just didn't sound enraptured, but Chris could see that I was.

1:42 Adam Chris doesn't even, Chris has his headphones on. He's not even listening.

1:45 Drew Yeah, but he can see.

1:46 Adam A white stripe while I'm talking about framing. Fine. One day when there's framers needed. You too. I'll be the one in demand. Phantom Planet is coming in tonight. These guys, they're in here a couple of years ago. February 2002, Drew. Wow. Spike Jones has just directed their new CD, or I should say their new video, and they do the soundtrack to the OC.

2:13 Drew People love that.

2:14 Adam Do you know that's how we do things in the OC? Yeah.

2:17 Drew I know it if I heard it.

2:18 Adam Listen, I love that OC show.

2:20 Drew Yeah, I do too.

2:21 Adam I don't watch it that much, but anytime I see a second of it, I love it. I love that junk. I did. Hey, you're talking to the guy I used to watch.

2:28 Drew You're like, not Slanding.

2:29 Adam Not Slanding. Lowest point of my life. Girlfriend dumped me. Had a horrible job and it's just my other buddy whose girlfriend dumped him and we sit there Friday night drinking beer and watching like Falcon Crest or Dynasty.

2:43 Drew I ran into Donna. What's her name? The evil one from Not Slanding. Shoot.

2:48 Adam Oh, Donna Dixon.

2:49 Drew No, no, no.

2:49 Adam Brooke.

2:50 Drew Yes.

2:52 Adam Brooke Dixon.

2:53 Drew Damn it.

2:54 Adam Brooke, you're 25. What's up? What's up? Hold on, by the way, no worse show to watch when you're poor than Dynasty. It's like you're just sitting there. They're coming down the stairways, the long, arching stairway seems to be hanging. There's no visible support under it. Here come all the people in their evening gowns.

3:20 Drew Lynn Evans walking down the stairs.

3:22 Adam Fight breaks out in the Olympic-sized pool. It's like fountains everywhere, limousines, and you're just sitting in some crappy apartment. North Carolina is going, oh. I'm telling you, it's cool to be poor now. I think it sucked in the 80s to be poor. I think it was worse. Brooke?

3:39 Yes.

3:41 Adam What's up?

3:43 I just got out of a relationship about a month ago, and I pretty much kind of agged it on by just starting little fights, and I broke it off. But my question is, during it, and the relationship lasted four months, the guy was 29, and during it, I faked a pregnancy, and now I'm kind of obsessed, I don't know about obsessed, but I want to get back with him, and the other thing is, when I was 23, I was engaged, and I broke that off, but during that engagement, I also faked another pregnancy.

4:18 Adam Wow.

4:19 Yeah.

4:20 Drew Hey, Brooke, I feel overwhelmed by this one, sort of like...

4:24 Adam Well, it's sort of novel, but on the other hand, you sound sort of soulless.

4:28 Drew Yes, that's it.

4:30 Adam Like, I have no moral compass.

4:32 Drew Yeah. It's empty. Empty. Like, I pushed him away, but now I want him back. I let him believe that I was pregnant, but I want him back. Like, empty.

4:43 Adam What does he think happened to the child?

4:48 It was... I just told him that I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive, and then I went to the doctor, and it was just... It read wrong.

4:56 Drew So you just freaked him out for a second.

4:58 Adam Why would you do that?

4:59 I do it to kind of just see how much they like me.

5:06 Adam Hopefully not as little as you like yourself.

5:08 Drew Yeah.

5:08 Adam What's up? Hey, Drew, that's heavy. Profound. That's heavy. Yeah. What happened to you?

5:15 See, that's the thing. I listen to you guys seriously almost every night, and...

5:18 Adam Oh, now you really got problems.

5:20 Yeah, I know.

5:24 You know, I can't figure it out. My parents, I mean, I grew up in a, I mean, pretty much normal family. My parents got divorced a couple years ago, but it was, I mean, it needed, they needed to divorce. They really weren't in love anymore.

5:37 Adam Well, listen, a certain amount of people are born without a soul. Look, Brooke, you don't want to get back together with this guy.

5:43 Yeah, I know.

5:44 Adam I'll tell you what you need. Here's what you need. I don't know anything about you other than your two fake pregnancies, which by the way is horrible karma.

5:52 Drew Yeah. And the sort of spiritual wheel of life.

5:56 Adam I don't mean karma, like cosmic karma. I mean like your two year old getting run over by karma, karma, karma, yeah, yeah. You need to go on a little spiritual journey. I don't think you're a mess. It's not like a lot of our callers have been sexually abused and, you know, sodomized by the rabbi or something. But you just you need to read a couple of books, do a little therapy and take a walk and listen to some classical music for about a year and then start a fresh relationship with an eye on yourself like a convenience store camera.

6:28 Drew Have you ever been in love, you think, Brooke?

6:30 No, that's the other thing I was going to tell you is I've never had those kinds of feelings. Never been in love, never been close to being in love. But the weird thing is when I am in a relationship and I really like, I mean if a guy really likes me, I back off, I back away, you know, I eventually somehow break it off or I just don't, you know, I just stop calling them. But if I really like the guy and he kind of plays hard to get, then I don't even have like, like I, you know, I'll give up, I won't go, I'm in school right now, I won't go to class if he wants to go to lunch, I won't, you know, I kind of give up my life a little.

7:03 Drew Just a question, just a question. Are you, you're sure your sexual orientation is clear and you like guys?

7:08 Oh yeah, yeah, I like it.

7:09 Drew For sure. I don't like girls too.

7:10 Adam I get a little therapy. And Brooke, I don't know what you're studying in school, but you come out to LA and make a hell of a publicist. It's just this kind of a, she's going into PR? You're going into PR? Are you working, are you working towards some sort of PR degree? Good, I'm telling you, you make a great publicist. You got all the makings of a great publicist. Soulless.

7:34 Drew No soul?

7:36 Adam Zero soul, minus a soul, ice water, running in the veins, only looking out for themselves, pitting people against each other. It's beautiful.

7:46 Drew You know what she has? That feeling is that we respond to her, I think, is schizoid. We kind of look at each other like, what is that? It's not abuse. It's not that there, but there's an emptiness and flatness we feel.

7:56 Adam Yeah.

7:57 Drew And I think that's a schizoid quality in some people, and that's kind of a biological condition.

8:00 Adam Well, I mean, look at it this way. There's just a certain percentage of people that aren't really fully humans, aren't there? I mean, they just are. They're just, you know, these are the kind of people that...

8:12 Drew The problem is, who you consider in that category may be different than somebody else.

8:16 Adam Yeah, well, who cares? I'm the...

8:18 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

8:20 Adam I have the final word and everything.

8:22 Drew That's right.

8:22 Adam Sarah? You're 14? What's up? Once, when I stayed home and I played sick when I was in high school, I had too many, and I got a calf cramp, and it still hurts. And it's been almost 20 years.

8:43 Drew Is that the time when your soul actually came out of your penis? Yes.

8:45 Adam Yeah.

8:45 Drew That was too many. But not for a gal. No, a gal, you are in that unique and unusual category, which is able to have multiple orgasms.

8:53 Adam Yeah.

8:54 Drew And you're only 14 and having how many, and you have sex now? Oh, my goodness.

9:09 Adam By the way, don't you get tired of counting by about 15? How old is the guy?

9:16 Drew How do you know when you're done? Yeah, 16.

9:20 Adam Yeah, how do you know when you're done?

9:27 He just stops.

9:30 Adam He stops. Here's your dad's pickup truck, pull up the driveway. That's how you know when you're done. What are you using for protection? 14 is too young. Okay, look, what are you going to do? You're 14, you have a thousand orgasms when you sit on a feather duster.

9:51 Drew Think about how different that is. The average 14-year-old girl, the idea of orgasm is not something they can even get themselves around. And then even at 22, it's like, okay, maybe it happened. It certainly doesn't happen with sex. Really, we have to argue that women are different than men?

10:06 Adam Well, that's why I say it takes all kinds.

10:08 Drew Takes all kinds.

10:09 Adam Yeah, I know.

10:09 Drew And it's no wonder men are so, heads are spinning around so much, and so bewildered.

10:13 Adam Well, here's the deal with orgasms in women, two or three of them bogart all the orgasms in the universe.

10:20 Drew That's right.

10:21 Adam Like, you know, there are women who are in their late 30s who haven't had one legitimate orgasm via intercourse and possibly via oral sex in their 35, 38 years on the planet. And here's Sarah over here, where you, you know, you prick her with a ballpoint pen and they just come bursting out of her. Crazy. Unfair, I say. Unfair. And by the way, when it comes to guys, as Drew was saying, you take a 15-year-old guy, 99% of them are exactly the same.

10:54 Drew 99? I can't even think of how they would be different.

10:56 Adam And there's 1% who, like, it was like beaten with a Bible growing up and it's just too freaked out and starts crying every time he sees his ding-a-ling.

11:05 Drew But even so, the ding-a-ling will function the same.

11:08 Adam Biologically the same.

11:09 Drew Biologically the same. There's just a question of short or long duration before the orgasm. That's it, period.

11:14 Adam Sarah's fine. The guy we got to look out for really needs to be monitored and followed as the boyfriend.

11:20 Drew Yeah, this guy's going to commit suicide.

11:21 Adam This is his first experience with a woman. They break up in eight months. He's with a new chick a year from now and it's like, come on baby, we've been going at it.

11:30 Drew For five, three minutes.

11:31 Adam I've been finger blasting you for all the 30 seconds now. Half a white stripe song. What's going on?

11:36 Drew He's going to walk around talking to himself in five years.

11:39 Adam Oh yeah.

11:39 Drew Just muttering.

11:42 Adam He's going to turn to booze and then harder stuff. Drop out of school, grow bad teenage mustache. Yeah, can you imagine like now he's on top of some chick, he's been going down, he's probably been going down on a chick for like 45 minutes and she's like, yeah, just stay in half. But he's like, Sherwood had several hundred thousand by now. Yeah.

12:00 Drew That would be a great move to bring that up.

12:03 Adam I guess he's the kind of guy who's going to force a chick to fake it. Because I was thinking that myself, because he's going to just keep working it like until he's going to be going, he's going to be going like, like when a guy's trying to get a coke out of a vending machine without paying, that's how he's going to be going at her like that. Come on, where's that orgasm? I got to get it out of you.

12:24 Drew It will seem impossible that it could be otherwise, right?

12:27 Adam Yes. Oh, thank God I didn't start off that way or ever, ever, ever even head down. Yeah, still have it. Okay, but I think it's about time I made my move.

12:36 Drew To encounter one of those, huh?

12:38 Adam Yes. Anna? Year 26? What's up?

12:44 Well, I have five-year-old twins and I know something happened to them and everyone has told me just to let it go. I can't.

12:53 Drew Hang on, slow down. You have five-year-old twins? And what happened to them?

13:00 Well, when they started to go to preschool, I caught them at the very beginning when they started to go. One was kissing or I don't even want to say it because it feels so sick and horrible. One was doing the other one in the living room and I just walked in on them.

13:17 Drew I can barely follow this.

13:18 Adam Well, hold on a second. Is it a boy-girl or two boys? Two boys.

13:24 Drew And one put the other's wee-wee in his mouth.

13:29 Adam Wee-wee.

13:30 Drew And so I have to talk to people again.

13:32 Adam Well.

13:32 Are you laughing at me?

13:35 Adam No. We're laughing with you.

13:37 I'd rather you laugh in my face right now than do it after I hang up.

13:41 Adam Well, it'll be both. But listen, Anna sounds like a mess.

13:44 Drew Yeah.

13:45 Adam What's up with you, Anna? What do you do for a living? You stinking whore. Please.

14:04 Drew Massage therapist.

14:04 Adam All right. And you do a little more.

14:06 Drew And you do a little more. And you do a little more.

14:12 Adam There is nothing there. All right. Well, let's try to deconstruct this a little bit. Were you ever sexually abused?

14:18 Drew Yes. My father. Okay. And so you would be attracted to guys that are child molesters. That would be what you're into.

14:26 Adam Where's the father of these twins?

14:28 We were married for, he was one of the second men I was ever with, besides my father. And then we were together for a long time. And then I just matured and I realized that, you know, this isn't normal to be treated this way.

14:46 Drew And then you became a prostitute?

14:49 Actually, I always wanted to do that. I went to a very religious school. And I guess I'm really sick, but they spank us. And I liked it.

15:00 Adam Well, look, your dad sexually abused you starting at one age.

15:05 Actually, I was 12 and he said that he thought I was my mother. Because I was sleeping in his bed.

15:16 Adam Where was your mother?

15:18 Well, I went to see her. She was not home and I went into her bed and she's like rubber back. She never did anything else. And then I fell asleep and then she went to say good night to the rest of the kids. And she never came back. And then he came home and thought it was her. And then he like did everything to me.

15:38 Drew One time?

15:40 Yes, one time. But he always he did things to the other kids.

15:47 Adam Well, wait a minute, wait a minute. Is this?

15:50 Did he?

15:51 Drew He didn't know. He said that. He said that.

15:53 I'm sorry.

15:54 Adam Right.

15:55 Drew Oh, sorry. I thought it was Mrs. Smith.

15:57 Adam Yeah.

15:57 Drew I don't understand you.

16:01 Adam All right. You know, you know, Anna not only is a little skeezy, but her phone line is more effed up than she is, if that's possible.

16:10 Drew Not possible.

16:11 Adam And it's hard to understand her.

16:12 Drew That was her brain wiring screwing up there.

16:15 Adam Her her father sexually abused her one time.

16:18 Drew I don't buy that either.

16:19 Adam That seems bizarre. And anyway, she's a prostitute escort. Let's just see if we can sort this out and wrap it up. Hey, Anna.

16:33 Drew I know it's not about you, but it is about you because you're the mother of these children and they need a sane mother to develop.

16:38 Adam Here's the plan. How about getting out of the prostitution trade on behalf of the kids and yourself?

16:45 Caller Actually, I did.

16:47 I did while I was married and I worked in like some restaurant, actually waited on like Mancow and Mayor Daly and like all these great people and blah, blah, blah. And I was treated like it was actually more degrading to be nice to some bitchy woman who um, and uh, Anna, Anna, let me just say this.

17:07 Adam Please just listen to me because I'm a genius and you're a mess. You need a...

17:12 If you saw me walking down the street, you would so not say that.

17:17 Drew This is exactly why we can say it.

17:19 Adam Because we don't see. I know, but I don't see you and all I can do is hear you.

17:24 I'd love to go. I'd love to go.

17:26 Drew Well, let's get the kids first. Let's get the kids. They need some help. They're going to need to be evaluated immediately.

17:33 Well, it happened a while ago. I took them out of school and it was preschool.

17:38 Drew Well, I guarantee you, whatever happened, I can't guarantee you, but I bet what happened didn't happen in the school.

17:42 Adam What happened to you happened a long time ago, too.

17:44 Drew Right.

17:46 Adam And you're still a mess. So let's do something about it.

17:50 Drew At least something can be done there.

17:51 Adam Or yourself, too. Phone line screwed up. But anyway, she can hear us and we'll just speak to her.

17:57 Drew We'll start with Rain. We'll start with Rain.

18:03 Adam We'll start with Rain. I mean, if you just, I got molested, or I was abused, or I think my children were, I don't have insurance, I don't have any money, I just got to start fresh. What do you do?

18:15 Drew You open the phone book?

18:16 Adam You look in the front of the phone book?

18:18 Drew You know, it's hard to say. I would start with an organization like Rain.

18:22 Adam How do you find Rain? You don't know anything about? You don't know?

18:25 Drew There are hotlines on the Loveline website.

18:29 Adam There are?

18:29 Drew Go on the Loveline website and check out all the hotlines. And I would advise you start a department of psychiatry at a local university, a university medical school. Just because they tend to have free services and that sort of thing.

18:40 Adam Right. Like you get a free haircut at the barber college. You get free counseling at the psychological college.

18:46 Drew Psychiatric hospital.

18:47 Adam You forgot those barber colleges?

18:48 Drew No, I can't say how.

18:53 Adam I grew up in one of those god damn barber colleges. And here's the thing about the barber college. Yes, the haircut is free if and you got three hours. Because what happens is, is the student, he makes every two cuts, he's got to call the instructor back. So it's like a snip, snip, Herb, I need it. Herb's on the phone. So let's just, I want to wait. Then Herb comes, what is this? And it's like, well, I think it's uneven. She went, okay, well, two more snips. I'm going to go to Nevada. You call me, the guy goes back and forth. I mean, here's the thing. They got nothing but time and they're glad to have your ass in that chair. There's not a line of people waiting to get their hair cut. Just them sort of, you know, goof around, cutting their teeth on your hair. Yeah, it's not, they're not trying to, now you go to a regular barber, they want you, you know, it's 20 bucks, it's 10 bucks, they want to get you, it's, it's, it's 10 bucks, whether it's 10 minutes or 10 hours, they want to get you out of there. These guys just sitting there for like three hours, the instructors to keep coming back and, oh, my God, one time I went to a barber college, they had some sort of Japanese exchange program going on, it's like, what, what, what's, what, this looks like, the Baton Death March, what's going on here? They're like, oh yeah, we sent all our people over to Tokyo and they sent theirs over here.

20:11 Drew Where was this? What city?

20:12 Adam This was in Santa Monica. This is when I was, at this point I'm 26, 27, I'm still at the goddamn barber college and, cause, you know, I had, you know, six bucks and, and so I, you know, I get like a Toshimanuko cut my hair and I'm like, hey, listen, it looks real goofy if you cut it too short on time. And I'm like, your, your hair. And it's like, his interpreter is like, he doesn't, he doesn't speas. He's from Japan. He's from Kobe. We, this is an exchange program. I'm like, there's a 50-50 chance your barber's not going to understand what you want. The guy, you know, the Irish guy who was born in Wisconsin is not going to understand what you want. Did this guy, I F'd it up completely. I had no idea what, what was going on. Couldn't communicate at all. That's a bad day when you walk into the Japanese exchange program at the barber college. Yeah. It's a good time.

21:07 Drew Good times, yeah.

21:09 Adam One more call? No. Take a break.

21:11 Drew Break.

21:11 Adam Who are we talking to when we come back? Hmm?

21:17 This one, I think.

21:19 Adam Oh, oh, and by the way, Phantom Planet is here, so we'll talk to those guys and we'll talk to Ryan whose girlfriend just said she's into bondage. He's never done it. Wants to know if it's safe. Ryan?

21:34 Well, actually.

21:35 Adam I just want to hear his voice.

21:36 Drew Want to take somebody else?

21:37 Adam No.

21:38 Drew That's all right.

21:38 Adam I believe him. So, Phantom Planet and Ryan after this.

21:44 Loveline, 1800-LOVE-191.

21:58 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, Adam or Ace to you. That's my good pal, Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Sam and Alexander both here from Phantom Planet.

22:12 Phantom Planet Hello.

22:12 Adam Hello. And we're going to hear something off the CD and just mention to you guys first before we start getting into whatever we're getting into here that these guys, this Friday, that's tomorrow, right?

22:28 Phantom Planet Uh-huh.

22:28 Adam 7 p.m. at the Virgin Megastore. Are they all megastores?

22:33 Drew Yeah.

22:34 Phantom Planet All virgins are megastores.

22:35 Adam No minas anymore? It's just all the megas?

22:37 Drew All the megas.

22:38 Adam Down at the Virgin Megastore in Ontario, in the Inland Empire, the guys are going to be doing, you guys are going to be doing a live show?

22:45 Phantom Planet Yeah.

22:46 Adam And you're going to be signing stuff too?

22:48 Phantom Planet Oh yeah.

22:48 Drew All right.

22:49 Adam So that's in the Virgin Megastore in Ontario. That's at 7 o'clock tomorrow. And then on Saturday, the following day, 2 p.m. tower, sunset. And right in the middle of the sunset trip, these guys are going to be playing again and doing some signing and doing all that.

23:06 Phantom Planet Indeed, that one should be really fun, I think.

23:09 Adam Yeah. You know what? I've lived here my whole life, never been in that tower.

23:14 Drew I'm not a guy by the.

23:15 Adam I passed it a million times and thought to myself, that's where the cool people go to buy in.

23:19 Drew Didn't you do something there once?

23:22 Adam Oh, really?

23:22 Drew Isn't that where you met your wife?

23:24 Adam No. No, I never did anything there.

23:27 Drew I always imagine that you said there was some sort of signing or something you're doing.

23:30 Adam That was me and Jimmy did some Super Bowl party about 10 years ago on some dump and Ventura Boulevard that nobody showed up to.

23:39 Drew Of course.

23:40 Adam By the way, this is the did. Now, it's not going to happen to Phantom Planet, but you got to watch out when you do one of these. Hey, I'm doing a book signing at Borders in Santa Monica. When three people show up, it really gets depressing.

23:52 Drew Oh, yeah.

23:53 Adam I mean, Jimmy's on on the on the show all the whole week before going, Hey, Big Monday Night Football down at Checkers on Ventura Boulevard. I'll be there at seven o'clock signing autographs. Free Buffalo Chicken Wings. Ninety nine cent Miller Lite. Sixteen ounce. Four people showed up. Yeah. Who's laughing now? We are. Yeah. I mean, no, I mean, yeah. Well, I mean, we're laughing like we're not laughing like we're not laughing at him. We're laughing with the yeah, we're laughing like you laugh when you're swordfighting and you do that thing where you go into the candelabra and then they all fall off. You know, you slice the candles. Yeah. Like the jig is up.

24:33 Drew That's the kind of laugh we're going to be. We're you and I are going out on the road next week, the next week, week after next. We're going to be at Stanford University from Wednesday.

24:43 Adam We'll be at Stanford. That's right. We'll be playing at Stanford and signing Phantom Planet CD.

24:49 Phantom Planet Free Buffalo Wings.

24:50 Adam That's right.

24:51 Phantom Planet Come on.

24:52 Adam Come on down.

24:53 Phantom Planet All four of you.

24:54 Adam That's right. First three and a half people to show up, get a bumper sticker and a Loveline windbreaker. All right. So we're going to hear something off the CD. Where do you guys live? I live about two minutes up Fairfax from here. Oh, really? Still managed to be late.

25:12 It wasn't my fault.

25:13 Phantom Planet It was mine.

25:14 Yep.

25:15 Phantom Planet I was at a birthday dinner for my friend, Jenny Lewis, who's the singer in a band called Riley O'Kiley. Alright. I don't know if you've heard of them.

25:21 Adam We're going to say yes, so it's not uncomfortable.

25:23 Phantom Planet Let's say yeah. Let's just say yeah.

25:25 Adam Yeah, we're into those dudes. Those chicks. Those folks.

25:28 Phantom Planet Those folks. They're good people. They're people, right? Yeah.

25:33 Adam They're gnomes. You know what? They're going to be on the show. I'm sure they'll be on the show next month sometime.

25:38 Drew On their way up.

25:38 Adam And then we'll forget all about them. Oh, come on, buddy.

25:41 Phantom Planet No.

25:41 Drew Once they make it, we'll never see them again.

25:43 Adam Oh, I see. Right. Because they'll get too bad.

25:44 Phantom Planet They're a great friend.

25:45 Adam That's right. Let's take some calls and we'll hear Phantom Planet's song. And how's the OC thing treating you guys doing the soundtrack or the theme to the OCs? Has it been a surprise?

26:00 Phantom Planet I've just been happy to meet those three hot girls that are on the show.

26:03 Adam Yeah.

26:04 Phantom Planet That was my way in. I saw them at a party and introduced myself.

26:08 Adam And how did it work? Did they do the... When they did the pilot, did they come to you guys? Did they say, we need a song?

26:15 Phantom Planet Yeah. They said, we desperately need your song. And we're like, I don't know. They sent us the pilot and we enjoyed it and thought, why the hell not?

26:24 Adam And they had the song in mind before they...

26:28 Phantom Planet Yeah. They were like, we're not going to put it out unless you put the song on.

26:32 Drew We know. Come on.

26:32 Phantom Planet We need it bad. Well, I mean, that was said, but I'm sure they would have put it out.

26:36 Adam How does it work now? Well, because, you know, back in the day, people used to get rich doing theme songs. But I hear now that they buy you out or they do whatever. And it's not that never, you know, sort of check in the mailbox every week where you get rich. Is it? Are you getting rich?

26:55 Phantom Planet No. Well, I mean, I don't know. I guess I don't really involve myself in the business side of it too much.

27:00 Adam You got to look in your wallet once in a while and see how it's doing.

27:03 Phantom Planet You know, my wallet has only a check in it from a friend of mine's mother.

27:07 Adam Really?

27:07 Phantom Planet For two hundred dollars.

27:08 Adam Yeah.

27:09 Phantom Planet But I've got two hundred dollars. It's just, it's potential money, not kinetic money.

27:13 Adam Yeah. You know what I wish it would start doing, by the way? Speaking of not knowing how much money you have, you know, they've the gift certificates have now gone to the sort of credit card gift certificates. That's fine, except for they need to put a little sticker on there and tell you what you got.

27:27 Phantom Planet I know.

27:27 Adam Because I'm now have I now have about eight of them and I'm staring at all of them and I'm like, I could go into that Best Buy with this card and I could walk out with a plasma TV or a Partridge family seating. I have no idea what I got on this card. I got a Starbucks card. I got I got zero. I mean, I could I could get you I could get within probably 150 bucks, but I really have no idea. And I'm not sure if it's worth bringing or not.

27:58 Phantom Planet Are you a gambling man?

27:59 Adam I'm a rambling man.

28:01 Phantom Planet You were born.

28:01 Adam But I don't gamble.

28:02 Drew Born that way. He was. How do you know that?

28:04 Adam I am born to ramble.

28:05 Drew He had to ramble.

28:06 Phantom Planet It's almost lyrical.

28:07 Drew I apologize for it all the time.

28:09 Adam I tell the ladies, yeah, I don't want to leave you.

28:11 But I'm a rambling man.

28:13 Drew Born a certain way. And that's got to go. It's genetics.

28:16 Adam Here's here's the twist with me and my rambling. Most guys break a dawn, you know, first sun, I ramble around noon. My whole thing is get up, take a shower, you go to work. I'll roll out of bed about ten forty five, beat off, pour a cup of coffee, then it's time to ramble. You see, I'm a later rambling guy. Noonish rambling guy. Yeah. All right.

28:41 Phantom Planet This is I feel like I'm at a support group. This is awesome.

28:44 Adam Why ramble at first sun? You don't got a job. You're not going anywhere.

28:49 Drew You got to ramble anyway.

28:50 Adam You got to ramble. Yeah, but you there's no there's no hours to ramble.

28:54 Drew As everyone has always said, it just when it comes to leaving time.

28:58 Adam I hope you understand.

28:59 Drew That's when you leave.

29:00 Adam You're born a rambling man. And you know, my dad was a rambling man.

29:02 Drew Of course.

29:03 Adam But he rambled early.

29:04 Drew Memphis.

29:05 Adam He went through Memphis. How come no one rambles through California? Like no one does he rambling through Eagle Rock or Encino. There's always where is that? Nothing rhymes with Eagle Rock. Maybe that's why you only ramble places like that rhyme. Like once in a while you get down to New Orleans and you have to ramble with some Cajun queens out there.

29:27 Drew You have to ramble places where there's music.

29:29 Adam Oh, you got to ramble.

29:30 Drew Nashville.

29:31 Adam Ramling guy. And by the way, and you guys, here's what we're leading up to. You guys need to write a song about rambling.

29:39 Phantom Planet Oh, OK.

29:39 Adam Because people, I don't think kids today know about rambling.

29:43 Phantom Planet It's true they need to be instructed.

29:45 Adam We grew up acutely aware of rambling, how to ramble, when to ramble, how to negotiate with ramblers, when you run into other ramblers who are rambling on the road.

29:55 Drew And then what you do with women who are setting spells and are devil worshippers. They themselves are the devil, I beg your pardon.

30:01 Adam Yeah, there's a lot of devil and evil women that you got to ramble from. And if you guys could write a song about rambling.

30:08 Phantom Planet By the end of the show.

30:09 Drew From witchy women, yeah.

30:10 Adam From witchy women, it would be fine. I always like the part where the chick doesn't want the guy to ramble. By the way, by all accounts, he's an out of work musician who's an alcoholic. Who doesn't have a car. Picture the rambler in real life. Smelly guy with a beard.

30:27 Drew Strangely enough, rambler is what comes to mind.

30:29 Adam Yeah, maybe Vietnam vet, got some psychiatric condition. Maybe he's hooked on peppermint schnobs. He's probably molesting your daughter. I'd say rambling, not such a bad thing. All right. Anyway, write your song about the noontime rambler.

30:45 Phantom Planet Noontime rambler, that's what it's called.

30:49 Adam Baby. See, it's like.

30:51 Drew No, stop. Stop right there.

30:52 Adam No, but at first light, I'll be sleeping for another six hours. You'll be up and then, yeah, you'll be gone. You'll be at work. You'll be breaking for lunch by the time I'm thinking about rambling. But then I'll make up for it by rambling well into the night. I won't knock off at four. Okay. Yeah, yeah, because I don't do a half day of rambling. I put in eight hours of rambling.

31:14 Drew Ryan, 26.

31:16 Caller Yeah, the reason I'm calling is.

31:18 Adam Ryan's calling from Indiana, which is not a bad place to ramble through.

31:22 Drew But strangely.

31:23 Adam Not sung about, but we get the idea that you've made your way. When you talk about places you have rambled, you might mention Indiana.

31:30 Caller Oh, it's through Indiana. Without a shot.

31:32 Adam Yeah.

31:33 Caller There are many witchy women up here to ramble from.

31:35 Adam Oh, good, good.

31:38 Caller I'm calling because I've been dating this girl for a while now. We've been sleeping together for about two months.

31:43 Adam Nobody rambles around Orlando, you don't hear about that so much. All right, I'm sorry, two months?

31:50 Caller We've been sleeping together for about two months now and she just revealed to me that she enjoys bondage. It's not something that I've ever done. She's also into like some types of pain. She likes to be bit. And I mean, I'm not into the pain, but that doesn't bother her that I'm not. But she wants me to try the whole bondage thing.

32:13 Adam And I hold on now, Ryan, I hate to say it, but it may be time for you to ramble.

32:23 Caller I'm actually kind of interested in it. She brought me this little book. It's like an introduction to bondage and introduction to S&M. And I was looking through it, but it doesn't really tell a whole lot. It tells you how to do it, but it doesn't really explain. Like there's some things that sound like they might be dangerous, and I was wondering is there any dangers that are inherited in this kind of lifestyle?

32:48 Adam Hold on a second.

32:49 Drew That's a non-question.

32:50 Adam Do you think it's bogus?

32:51 Drew I don't know if it's bogus, but that's a non-question.

32:54 Adam But Ryan, by the way, sounds like the kind of guy that would be like, uh... I'm going to go ahead and remove my pocket protector and glasses so those aren't damaged. Put those on the nightstand. Now, I've turned to page twenty-seven, figure G shows here. Wheelbarrow. Tying up the electrical cord.

33:14 Phantom Planet That could be fatal.

33:16 Adam Yeah, I mean, he doesn't seem like he's going to make a very good partner with this.

33:20 Drew No, I was thinking that myself. She won't be satisfied with what he can do because he won't be able to pull it off properly, so to speak.

33:26 Adam Yeah, and I'm not sure what side of the bondage she wants you on. Does she want you to tie her up or does she want you to get tied up?

33:36 Caller Actually, both. She likes to be submissive and what she wants from him. He said she likes to be submissive and she likes to be dominant. It's just something I've never done before, so I've never had any kind of experiences with it and it's completely foreign to me.

33:54 Adam Well, how do you think you could get into it?

33:57 Caller It's something I've always wondered about. I've just never known anybody that I could experiment with.

34:02 Drew Well, now you do, but it's obviously you can get hurt and there are ways people can conduct themselves, try to prevent that with safe words and this sort of thing. The biggest concern is that again this is enacting out of some trauma and then somebody has difficulty feeling aroused unless they get these high levels of stimulation. And it usually doesn't exist as an isolated phenomenon. There are usually other things going on with that person, but that's fine.

34:24 Caller I mean, she keeps an orgasm with just regular sex.

34:27 Drew That's bogus.

34:29 Adam We're down to bogus. We're back to bogus, Ryan. Hey, listen, Ryan, we got...

34:33 Caller What's bogus about it? What's bogus?

34:36 Adam Now it's getting really bogus. Listen, Ryan, it's time for us to ramble. It's almost eleven o'clock. Alright, I'm a late night rambling guy. Alright, we didn't believe him. You're right, it's a non-question. If a twenty-six-year-old guy wants to engage in this, he just engages.

34:54 Drew Can you harm yourself with people being tied up with electrical cords around their neck? Let me use my imagination for a second. And then he wants to jump in with machine-gun orgasm for a second. Okay, now we're going towards the punch line.

35:05 Adam Look, do what you want, but I don't like the safe word stuff.

35:09 Phantom Planet Banana.

35:10 Adam Yeah, that's the whole thing. I could easily panic and forget my safe word. And then I just die with a hefty bag tied around my head.

35:21 Phantom Planet Also, with a hefty bag over your head, you couldn't actually say the safe word properly.

35:26 Adam Yeah, here's my safe word will be my elbow to your sternum very hard.

35:29 Phantom Planet Punch to the sternum.

35:30 Adam And you will then go flying cross room. And then I ramble. That's how it works. You'll know when it's time to stop, because I'll be punching you in the windpipe. Like, I think I did it like that. You've got to come up with your safe word.

35:44 Phantom Planet Maybe the punching and the hitting though is just all part of the deal, the bondage deal.

35:50 Adam Well, the thing is, is if you get hooked up with someone who can kick your ass and you get into a bondage situation, there's potential for harm, right? And or if you get tied up and, yeah, you got the gag ball in, you got the gimp ball in your mouth and the, you know, they got those zip ties and you're hog tied and you're on the bed and you can't talk and she's whipping you. It's a good time, so I'll tell you what.

36:18 Phantom Planet Let's ramble.

36:19 Adam Yeah, let's ramble. Let's ramble to our next call. Let's talk to Timothy, you're 19. What's up?

36:26 Caller Yeah, I've been taking some medication, some antidepressants for about a year.

36:33 Adam And hold on, Palm Springs, not a good rambling town. No one ever sings about ramblings.

36:41 Phantom Planet Rhymes is a lot of things, though.

36:42 Adam It could, but no one rambles through or from Palm Springs.

36:46 Drew It's a desert and that's getting close to rambling territory.

36:48 Adam I know, but you go more, you head more into Arizona if you're going to be doing that. San Diego, not a bad, bad rambling town.

36:57 Phantom Planet Tijuana. Maybe a rambling town.

36:59 Drew Destination, not a rambling town.

37:00 Adam Yeah, you got, you're fleeing.

37:02 Phantom Planet You're headed for Tijuana.

37:03 Adam You're fleeing. Well, you got to get to the border. And then you're never talking about the Canadian border, always talking about Mexico. They don't clarify it, but they go, by sun up, I'll be at the border. It's always Mexico. No one goes into Canada. How do we even know what border you're talking about?

37:18 Drew Well, no one is running to Canada.

37:21 Adam Now, you may jog or...

37:24 Drew Or slip.

37:25 Adam Yeah, you don't... You sprint to Mexico. Timothy?

37:29 Caller Yeah.

37:30 Adam All right. So you're 19, you're depressed.

37:32 Drew With a beard, a wig and a smotty. Not guilty though.

37:36 Caller But when I'm taking it, I'm fine. But the problem is, is I have like almost no sex drive when I'm on it.

37:44 Drew What's the medicine?

37:45 Caller It's called Effexor.

37:47 Drew Yeah. Effexor can shut you down pretty good. Yeah.

37:51 Caller And it makes me feel great. Like I'm happy and all that, but I'll tell you that I just can't perform that good.

37:58 Drew All right. Well, here are the some of the basic options. One is we often will do add a medication called Wellbutrin, which doesn't really go with Effexor that well, but that's something that can be done to some of the other certainly the isolator or serotonin-reuptake-inhibiting medications. Effexor has a dual action though, so it's a little bit more complicated to add it to the Wellbutrin. You can switch to Serizone or Remeron or even Lexapro sometimes, but if the Effexor has been working, you hate to do that, then the other option is to use some of these newer Viagra type medications, which may not do that much for your sex drive, but may allow you to perform and feel a little bit more sexual. There's one now called Cialis that lasts for three days.

38:37 Adam What? You get a boner for three days?

38:39 Drew Well, you get a boner if you look at something good. Oh, really? Yeah, for three days.

38:44 Adam Like a nice car?

38:45 Drew Yeah, you look at that.

38:46 Caller Like chili fries or something.

38:48 Drew That's Cialis. You got to watch it. That Maybach. Yeah, Maybach. Adam, you could not go to the car show on that medicine.

38:53 Adam Yeah, that's my whole problem. I'd just be looking at tools and stuff going, oh yeah. The next thing you know, my hand's down around in my pants. I'm standing in front of the display case.

39:02 Drew And there's Levitra, which is short acting and rapid acting, and you can try these things.

39:07 Adam How fast does that Levitra kick in?

39:09 Drew 20 minutes or so. It'd probably last about three hours. Uh-huh.

39:13 Adam Three hours. The hell you need that? I don't need that kind of time. Let me tell you my thing about rambling.

39:20 Phantom Planet Back to rambling.

39:21 Adam Well, here's what I tell the ladies. I tell them, you know, I know you're sad to see me go, even though actually, technically, you'll be leaving for work and then I'll be slinking out, you know, after that. But as a rambling guy, I will pass this way again. I will, I will, you know, because, yes, because I will ramble back, I will, I will, I will circle back and ramble through town again. I'll come this way again. So don't worry, I'll, I'll get liquored up, be back about nine months, bang you in my pickup truck. And then it's, you know, it's rambling time again. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break, Phantom Planet, here tonight. I promise we'll hear something off the CD after this. Love, Loveline. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Sam and Alexander, both here from Phantom Planet. That's also the name of the CD. These guys are going to be out in Ontario tomorrow? Virgin Mary store, and that's at 2 o'clock and then 7 o'clock. No, wait a minute, I screwed it up. 7 o'clock tomorrow night, and then 2 o'clock on Saturday at the Tower Sunset. Right in the heart of the Sunset Strip, and we're just talking to the guys during the commercial. And you guys grew up around this area, and probably not more than a few miles, as the crow flies at least, away from that Tower Sunset, so it's got to be kind of cool that you're playing there.

41:00 Phantom Planet Oh yeah, and there's a big sign out there. We've never had a sign out in front of a record store before. It's huge.

41:07 Drew Very exciting.

41:08 Phantom Planet Yeah, I feel very accomplished.

41:09 Drew Did you guys have time in the OC? Did you, when you were growing up, did you spend much time down there?

41:13 Phantom Planet We had a few friends down there that were in a couple of bands, Teen Heroes was one of them. Played a lot of shows down there. Played a lot of shows down there.

41:19 Drew In high school.

41:20 Phantom Planet Yeah.

41:21 Adam So you know how they do things in the OC?

41:23 Phantom Planet Yeah, welcome to the OC bitch.

41:25 Adam That's right. That's right. One of the places that's not on my list to ramble to. Newport Beach. You don't hear about people. In general, beach city is bad for rambling. Also, the city is Bayou cities aren't bad rambling cities. The city is bad.

41:41 Drew Well, most of the beach cities in this part of the country have Spanish sort of sounding surnames. Yeah, like Santa Monica, Laguna.

41:47 Adam Yeah.

41:48 Drew You know, those aren't good.

41:49 Adam Yeah. Like you saying, I've rambled.

41:52 Drew San Clemente.

41:53 Adam From San Clemente to Santa Barbara to San Diego to Orlando and Palm Springs.

42:00 Drew It doesn't sound like a strange enough if you were a rambler, those are the places you'd rather go.

42:05 Adam But it's been a rambling weather. I'll tell you that because, you know, them rambling, you know, through the middle of our, our Kansas and all that kind of Texarkana and that kind of stuff, it gets kind of cold. You know, the wind, the summers are hot, dusty, the winters are freezing cold. You know, when you when you ramble, you got to think about it's sort of like convertible weather. Like, you got to think about the climate when you ramble. And these these idiots are just rambling through the, the ram through a lot of Texas and Oklahoma that area.

42:37 Drew They're doing flat areas.

42:39 Adam Yeah.

42:39 Drew Have hills.

42:40 Adam Yeah. It's hard to ramble up a hill.

42:42 Drew But then you're climbing.

42:43 Phantom Planet Yeah.

42:43 Drew I'm not rambling.

42:44 Phantom Planet Yeah.

42:44 Drew You're you're climbing.

42:46 Phantom Planet Yeah.

42:46 Adam All right. True. That's enough rambling talk. Come on. We got to help the kids. We got to hear a song.

42:51 Drew We got two minutes here. Well, we got to hear a Phantom Planet song.

42:53 Adam I don't mean we got to. I mean, we get to.

42:55 Drew Start the next second.

42:56 Adam No, we'll hear one now. All right. All right.

42:59 Drew We don't have time to play this song. All right.

43:00 Caller All right. I'll fade out if we don't have time.

43:03 Adam Too late. I punched up Zoe.

43:04 Drew Hoping in the next break.

43:06 Adam Then we hear it. We have plenty of time.

43:07 Drew Five minutes away.

43:08 Adam Zoe? You're 20?

43:11 Caller Yeah.

43:11 Adam What's up?

43:13 Caller Say, I was reading your book, A Survival Guide to Life and Love. Yeah.

43:21 Adam This is a, by the way, this is a book we did like.

43:24 Drew Six years ago.

43:26 Adam Six years ago. And the title wasn't our idea, by the way. But go ahead.

43:33 Caller Well, Dr. Drew used the word hyperachiever. And you said that you described yourself as that. And I'm kind of wondering, I'm kind of the same way. I'm pre-med in school. I'm double majoring. I'm involved in everything.

43:50 Drew Read my next book, Cracked, and you'll understand more about my pathology than just the title of Glimpses.

43:54 Adam And when he referred to himself as a hyperachiever, he beat off really fast. That's I don't know if you're confused.

44:01 Drew Hyperachieving is just a symptom. It can mean lots of different things. But usually it's people that need to be highly perfectionistic and make other people happy.

44:08 Adam Yeah. That's why you punch the mic three times a night, even though I beg you not to do it.

44:13 Drew Doesn't mean you're self-actualized and aware.

44:15 Adam Look in the mirror, man.

44:16 Drew Look in the mirror. So, Zoe, what's your question?

44:18 Caller So, how did you get over that? Because right now, when I'm in...

44:21 Adam He didn't.

44:22 Drew I didn't get over it. What I got over was the need to rescue and help other people and to be able to... You get over it by establishing good boundaries with other people, and that's a very substantial task for some people.

44:34 Adam Why, what's your nationality?

44:37 Caller I'm Caucasian.

44:38 Drew Aha! And by the way, hyperachieving can serve you well until it gets out of control.

44:43 Adam Yeah. You can be like Madonna.

44:44 Caller It has served me well, but I've started like panic attacks and I've started cutting.

44:50 Drew Oh, no, no, no, no. So you're a trauma survivor. And this is what's good. No, yes, you are. You may not remember what the trauma is, but this is what we call the sort of the running phase of post-traumatic stress disorder. Here's a book you can read called Healing Trauma, a guy named Siegel, Dan Siegel edited, and there's some chapters in there that talk about this specific thing, give you a sense of what it is you're dealing with here. Healing Trauma.

45:11 Adam Yeah. And I got one called Ramblin Nation, it's about a large, large group of Ramblers. Here's the thing, okay, let me ask, let me, I'll put this question to the panel quickly because we only got a minute, but my theory is you got to be a little bit effed up in order to get anywhere in this life.

45:35 Drew Any excess of anything.

45:36 Adam Now if your dad owns a furniture business and you go out of high school or college into it and next thing you know you take it over, maybe you don't have to, but if you want to do some serious achieving, it's good to have just a little bit of a neurotic fire burning in your belly and when you look at these people, these, I don't know, shares or Madonnas or Donald Trumps or whoever they are, there's always a little something that's fueling them because otherwise...

46:01 Drew That category is not a little something.

46:02 Adam That's a lot of something. Otherwise, you're saying, you realize, hey, I got enough money in the bank, I'm going to go home and relax. I'm not going to bust my hump. So, a little of that's nice, but then, how do you enjoy your success when you have this neurotic fire stoked in your belly? And that's the balancing point. And then, if you get too sane, you become like a prizefighter, gets rich, you lose the eye of the tiger. Now, you're not angry anymore and you're driving a Bentley and you're living up in the hills and now you don't tear the guy's head off.

46:31 Drew Somebody more competitive steps in.

46:33 Adam Clubber Lang comes in and tries to take the belt.

46:38 Phantom Planet Good analogy.

46:38 Adam Yeah.

46:39 Phantom Planet So far.

46:39 Adam And that's why you gotta do road work, which I'd like to start being called rambling work. Perfect. We'll take a little break here. Rambling Phantom Planet. I'm just gonna start putting ramble in front of everything. I'll get some more rambling tea. I could go rambling bathroom. We'll be right back after this. All right, guys.

46:58 Caller Here's the deal. Look in the hookup.

47:00 Caller Call the dateline.

47:01 Caller Stick a waste in time with the wrong person.

47:02 Caller Call the dateline.

47:05 Caller Call the dateline. One, eight, seven, seven, eight, eight, nine, date.

47:43 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

47:45 Caller I'm Adam.

47:46 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew's on the computer right now looking up the Rambler automobile. Now we're all ramble obsessed. Sam and Alexander both here from Phantom Planet.

47:58 Phantom Planet I'm getting rambled out.

47:59 Adam Yeah, we're about ready to ramble over to Phantom Planet song. And speaking of rambling, you guys are gonna be rambling over to Ontario, to the what the hell Virgin Megas store. That's right, now that's at the 7 o'clock tomorrow, 2 p.m. on Saturday, you'll be rambling back this way to the Sunset Tower Records. All right, let's hear something from Phantom Planet. You cute up there, Anderson? Yes, oh, you cute up, Chris? Oh, you don't do it anymore? How long has that been, six months? Okay, let's, oh, okay, we'll talk about this when we come back. This is Big Brat.

48:37 Phantom Planet All right. Wow, listen to that response too, huh? Great.

52:03 Adam One of the best non-rambling songs I've ever heard, but that's not saying much, you know? What was that?

52:10 Drew My chair squeaked.

52:12 Adam Stop that drip. Phantom Planet in here, Sam and Alexander. If Drew, like a half hour, he couldn't find a picture on the internet. That little ones.

52:23 Drew We all agree we identify what the cars were, though.

52:24 Phantom Planet Yes. If they're old cars, why would they have pictures up on the internet?

52:30 Adam Don't defend it.

52:31 Drew Just really quick. The Rambler 63, it does really look like the kind of car that guy should have been driving, the Rambler.

52:38 Adam If he had a driver's license, but he can't.

52:40 Drew He'd drive that. If he had a driver's license in the 78.

52:42 Adam If he drives anything, he drives an 18-wheeler, because that's the other one, too.

52:47 Phantom Planet So laziness and apathy are part of the Rambler's facet.

52:51 Drew No, something far more pernicious than that.

52:55 Adam I do think if you want to be a Rambler, here's the criteria.

52:58 Drew Homeless.

53:00 Adam No, no. But according to the song, you have to play some acoustic guitar.

53:04 Drew Yes.

53:04 Adam That doesn't hurt. It's good to have you wear boots because you got to put your boots on or you put your boots by, you know, you're late. You only take your boots off for a while before it's time to ramble again. You know, boots are very good.

53:17 Phantom Planet You need tough shoes to ramble.

53:19 Adam Yeah. And with a heel, you cannot ramble in sandals.

53:23 Phantom Planet No, although that rhymes and it rambles in my sandals. Right.

53:27 Adam But there's no Birkenstocks sporting or Zorries or Flip Flops or anything like that. Or Er shoes. Yeah, you can't.

53:34 Phantom Planet Tevas.

53:35 Adam No, you need you need you need boots to ramble in. That's what a hat sort of accessory is good to wear a hat because the same thing. It's like you put the hat on on the bedpost.

53:45 Phantom Planet But it just we know what kind of hat it is. It's a cowboy hat.

53:48 Adam It's a cowboy hat. It's not a yarmulke. And it's not one of those foam ones.

53:52 Drew Because you got to be able to know that wherever you put your hat.

53:55 Adam Yeah, it's your home.

53:56 Drew It's your home.

53:56 Adam Right, right. And you'd probably wear jeans, but a Wrangler type jean. More than more than a 501, more than a Levi.

54:04 Phantom Planet Something with a rough.

54:06 Adam You're in a truck and hey, you never back down from a fight, but you're not looking for trouble. And you love the ladies and the ladies love you. Your first love is rambling and it's the open road.

54:16 Drew It's not your love. You have no choice.

54:19 Adam Yeah, it's in your blood, like a salmon swimming back to spawn. You must ramble.

54:23 Phantom Planet Or a lemming jumping off a cliff.

54:25 Adam Yeah, which I now hear they don't really do. Yeah, but they don't still. But if it rhymes, definitely, you know, if you can.

54:33 Phantom Planet Like a lemming cliff.

54:36 Adam No, no, no, no, we'll work on it. We'll work on it, but we'll just put it in the hopper.

54:40 Drew It'll take some calls tonight.

54:41 Adam Huh?

54:41 Drew No.

54:42 Adam All right. Yeah, I want to talk about it says here that Spike Jones did the video for the brand.

54:48 Phantom Planet Yes, he did. And these wonderful fellows from the AV. Club also.

54:52 Adam And how did that work? How does it work? How do you get Spike Jones to do your video?

54:57 Phantom Planet He had heard when we were shopping around for directors for our last single, which was Lonely Day, that I wanted to do a zombie video. Really, really bad.

55:08 Adam He has an unnatural obsession with zombies.

55:10 Phantom Planet Oh, I think it's perfectly natural to you.

55:13 Adam Sure.

55:13 Drew You never lived in New Orleans?

55:14 Phantom Planet No. Really?

55:15 Adam I like zombies. You like like Dawn of the Dead.

55:18 Phantom Planet Oh, yeah. Day of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, Zombie, City of the Living Dead.

55:22 Adam Yeah.

55:23 Phantom Planet Anything with dead in the title.

55:24 Drew Zombophilia.

55:25 Adam It's good. Yeah. I like zombies too, because there's...

55:28 Phantom Planet The Zombies, the band, great band.

55:30 Adam Oh, yeah. It's the time of the season to ramble. That's what I do. I record over it and yell ramble.

55:37 Phantom Planet Corolla remix.

55:38 Adam But, no, zombies, great, because it's humans, you can feel good about killing, and you can slaughter them en masse. You know, you can take a chainsaw and drag it across a hundred of them. You can take a shotgun and just start blowing them away.

55:52 Phantom Planet It's about self-preservation or preservation of the human race or alienation, maybe even...

55:57 Adam A good part of all zombie movies is where, like, if we were trapped in this room and zombies were outside the studio, well, first we got to kill engineer Chris, because I'm not sure he may have gotten bitten, but... I give the speech to you guys, which is, uh, listen. If something happens to me, I'm going out there to take a dump. Because I don't want to stink up the studio. When I... But if something happens and I come back and, you know, I've been bitten by a zombie, you've got to take me down before I turn into a zombie. And it's going to be tough for you, but you do it.

56:26 Phantom Planet You have to be decapitated or...

56:28 Adam Right. And I'm telling you, I'm begging you, do it! And I'm taking the gun and you're crying because you love me. And you're putting the gun down and I'm holding it up and putting it to my...

56:37 Phantom Planet This is right out of Dawn of the Dead.

56:39 Adam Yeah.

56:40 Phantom Planet Yeah.

56:40 Adam Yeah. I'm begging you. Kill me. So I don't have to eat you.

56:43 Drew I'm going to start begging you in a minute to kill me if we don't get some calls.

56:46 Adam All right. Rambling zombie. What about a zombie who rambles? Oh, he didn't do a lot of rambling when he was alive. But now that he's he's he's joined the undead, a rambler, he's a rambler. He's a rambler, a zambler. Yeah. He'd love to stay and eat you. But he's got to move on. He's got to ramble.

57:06 Drew Zombies eat people.

57:07 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's their only weapon. Zombies don't pick up sticks.

57:12 Drew I thought there was superhuman strength and they sort of crush you.

57:15 Phantom Planet You know, they have no more strength than the average person.

57:18 Adam And they always have a bad knee. They got a bum wheel.

57:22 Phantom Planet Yeah, they got one bad leg.

57:23 Adam It's something. However, they died initially. It was from like falling off a building or something before somebody ate them. Yeah, they got a bad.

57:29 Phantom Planet It's something with the reanimation, the brain, maybe certain things that don't work.

57:35 Adam They don't move real well. Their arms don't move in unison with the legs. You know, you don't see a zombie jogging in the arms, really pumping.

57:43 Phantom Planet But you do see zombies dancing to Michael Jackson.

57:47 Adam Yeah, I did see that. I did see that. Yeah. And then when they get you, all they can do is bite you. Their mouths are only weapon.

57:53 Phantom Planet There's some ripping. They do some tearing of flesh with their hands.

57:57 Drew Julie, 19.

57:58 Adam Julie.

57:59 Caller Yeah.

58:00 Adam What's happening?

58:02 Caller All right. I started having sex when I was 16 and stopped for a couple of years. I got put on Effector and got into a relationship. And so me and this new guy started having sex. And I've got absolutely nothing out of it. Basically, I feel like I have no sex drive.

58:31 Drew That's the effects. Women are you shut down even more by antidepressant medicines than men. For women, they'll tell me that even like looking at somebody kissing on television will look sort of bizarre. And like, why are they doing that?

58:42 Adam I do fast forward.

58:44 Drew I know that troubles you greatly. But Julie, this is a normal side effect that medicine, you might want to think about a switch to something like Sarazone or Addingwell Butrin, as I said earlier, something like that. Remeron.

58:57 Caller Now me and this guy aren't even together.

59:00 Drew Well, maybe the mood stabilization is not worth risking or destabilizing the mood is not worth risking.

59:05 Caller That's what I'm afraid of.

59:06 Like, I switch it.

59:08 Caller I mean, I'd rather not have the sex, you know, and be happy because I don't, you know, understood.

59:17 Drew Whatever you do, you should not make these decisions on your own. You need to sit down and talk about it with whoever is prescribing the medication for you.

59:25 Adam You know, the Caribbean is one of the worst oceans to ramble by.

59:30 Drew You know?

59:30 Phantom Planet Well, there's a lot of zombification going on down there.

59:34 Adam But no rambling going on. It's too tropical for rambling. And there's parts of Europe, I think, maybe like Switzerland, a bad rambling spot, too.

59:42 Drew Too clean?

59:43 Adam It's not conducive. Pristine. It doesn't lend itself to rambling.

59:46 Phantom Planet It's also a lot of hills. Yeah, mountains.

59:50 Adam Yeah, that's not good rambling.

59:52 Caller It's not a rambling country either.

59:53 Drew Autobahn will be rambling.

59:54 Adam Almost nowhere in Europe is good for rambling. It just isn't. It just isn't, Drew. You know why? No lizards. You need lizards. Yeah, lizards gotta be on a rock and a long shot.

1:00:06 Phantom Planet Maybe a tumbleweed.

1:00:08 Adam Yeah, yeah. It's a desert escape. If you think 18-wheelers and lizards. Let's talk to... I can't focus on the show anymore, Drew.

1:00:18 Drew Oh, really? No kidding.

1:00:20 Adam Amanda? You're calling from Washington? State of Washington?

1:00:26 Caller The state?

1:00:27 Adam Yes.

1:00:28 Caller Yeah?

1:00:29 Adam Yeah. Mediocre to poor rambling state.

1:00:32 Drew No, no, no. Good. Lumberjacks and woods.

1:00:36 Adam Too much rain. Too much annual rainfall. What's that, Amanda?

1:00:41 Caller My uncle's a lumberjack.

1:00:42 Drew Imagine that. He's rambling.

1:00:44 Adam What's happening, Amanda?

1:00:46 Caller I want to know if there's side effects to the morning after pill, like bleeding.

1:00:49 Drew Oh, yes. That can happen for sure. And that's really, don't even worry about it. It's not a big deal, but that definitely happens. And if you're taking the prevent rather than the plan B, sometimes there can be some nausea too. Well, it doesn't mean anything.

1:01:01 Caller It doesn't mean anything?

1:01:02 Not at all.

1:01:05 Caller Well, I can't be like, just like, internally.

1:01:06 Drew No, I can't see. If you're bleeding internally, you wouldn't see the bleeding. You mean your vagina is bleeding?

1:01:15 Yeah.

1:01:16 Drew Yeah, the lining of the uterus becomes unstable. Now, if you're having pain and bleeding, that is a different issue because perhaps you got pregnant. And if you get pregnant and you have bleeding, that's a sign of an ectopic pregnancy and that needs to be dealt with. So if you have a lot of abdominal pain and bleeding, another pregnancy test needs to be taken and just see if that's possibly an ectopic pregnancy. Because as you know, morning after pill is only about, it's about 90% if you're taking the first 24 hours, about 70% effective if you're taking the first 24 hours. Perfect.

1:01:43 Adam That's got to be paid for exactly on the 24th hour.

1:01:45 Drew Even if you had already ovulated, if there was an egg sitting there at that time, you would get pregnant.

1:01:50 Adam All right. Well, good girl.

1:01:54 Caller Also, does it have, does it affect your menstrual cycle?

1:02:01 Drew That's what the bleeding is. What do you think? What is your fantasy of the bleeding is?

1:02:06 Caller I don't know.

1:02:08 Drew I understand, but your menstrual cycle is not something that is like can't be influenced. It can be influenced by lots of things.

1:02:13 Adam I can talk one in. I can talk a woman into bleeding.

1:02:15 Drew You probably could.

1:02:16 Adam Come on. Come on, baby. Or I'll ramble. And then pow. Tampon. It's like that scene from The Shining where the elevator door is open. Blood everywhere. I can get them to do it.

1:02:27 Phantom Planet Dear God.

1:02:28 Adam It is. You ever seen that?

1:02:30 Phantom Planet The movie?

1:02:32 Adam You ever see a woman do that?

1:02:34 Phantom Planet No, I've never seen the elevator doors open like that. No.

1:02:36 Adam It's crazy. Drew's never seen The Shining, everybody.

1:02:39 Drew Yes, I have.

1:02:40 Phantom Planet That's a wonderful movie. I love that movie.

1:02:42 Adam Yeah, amazing movie. I begged you for six years.

1:02:44 Drew Then I watched it.

1:02:46 Adam Don't make me get into that.

1:02:49 Drew You know what? I didn't. To be honest with you. I appreciated it. I didn't like it.

1:02:53 Adam Because you're angry at me.

1:02:55 Drew No, no, no. I hate horror movies. I just have no taste for them. I don't like them.

1:02:59 Adam It wasn't a horror movie.

1:03:00 Drew No, I know. I appreciated what it was. That's for sure.

1:03:03 Adam And I agree now, by today's standards, it's a very slow burn.

1:03:07 Drew I like that. I like that about it.

1:03:09 Phantom Planet Yeah, you don't like the shock. You don't like the scare factor.

1:03:12 Drew I don't like all the air. Exactly.

1:03:15 Phantom Planet It's all about the psychological factor.

1:03:16 Adam Although, a little girl going down the hall and the twins.

1:03:20 Drew Finally, though, finally, I can understand the Red Room references.

1:03:23 Phantom Planet Scariest part of that movie, by the way, is him looking at the servant guy, looking at the little boy and asking him if he wants some ice cream without saying anything. That's the scariest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

1:03:33 Adam Drew, what's wrong with you? That's a great movie. You know what you did? You got on tape. You watched the first 40 minutes. You fell asleep. You caught 20 minutes the following night. You didn't sit down and watch.

1:03:43 Drew I watched it an hour and an hour.

1:03:44 Adam Your kids were screaming.

1:03:46 Drew Right. That's right. I wondered if that was part of it.

1:03:48 Phantom Planet You didn't get involved enough.

1:03:50 Adam Shut the lights and vote an evening to it. Come on, buddy.

1:03:54 Caller It's Red Rum, not Red Room.

1:03:57 Adam You said Red Room and then you modified it a little to Red Room, so I let you go.

1:04:01 Phantom Planet All right.

1:04:02 Adam Michelle? You're 17? You're calling from Missouri? Uh-huh. Solid rambling state.

1:04:10 Drew Very solid.

1:04:11 Adam Very solid.

1:04:12 Drew Except for that I got stuck. I was rambling there once.

1:04:14 Adam Yeah.

1:04:15 Drew Got off a plane rambling, got stuck waiting for half an hour in a coal train.

1:04:20 Adam Oh, really?

1:04:21 Drew Yeah.

1:04:22 Adam It's a decent form of rambling transportation.

1:04:23 Drew That's a rambling story, huh?

1:04:25 Adam Michelle?

1:04:26 Caller Yes?

1:04:27 Adam You're having sex with a 21-year-old guy. And he told everyone?

1:04:36 Caller Well, actually it was only like a one-time thing, but I've known him since last year.

1:04:42 Adam Are you into the guy?

1:04:43 Caller Well, yeah, but just the whole fact that he's so old and I'm just like...

1:04:51 Drew He's so old.

1:04:52 Caller 21. Boy.

1:04:54 Drew Are you surprised that he told everybody?

1:04:55 Adam Great cubes, balls dragging on the ground. Apparently getting an erection at 21.

1:05:00 Drew Are you surprised that he told everybody?

1:05:01 Adam Well, I guess they have medications now.

1:05:03 Drew Are you surprised that he told everybody?

1:05:05 Caller Well, a little bit.

1:05:07 Caller I didn't actually expect him to.

1:05:09 Drew All right. Well, what's the question exactly?

1:05:12 Adam Look, here's the deal. I talk about rambling for an hour and 20 minutes. Drew begs me to take some calls. Then we get Michelle.

1:05:21 Drew She spent over 95 minutes listening to you talk about rambling.

1:05:25 Adam All right. Well, look, our callers suck. Michelle, there's nothing intriguing about this call. Do you like this guy or not? You don't? Fine.

1:05:36 Drew Get rid of him.

1:05:36 Adam No more sex with him. Break things off. He may tell a few people.

1:05:40 Phantom Planet Tell all your friends that he was horrible. Get back at him.

1:05:44 Drew Good call.

1:05:45 Phantom Planet I'm not going to do advice. Don't listen to me.

1:05:47 Adam Go off to college somewhere.

1:05:49 Drew Don't dance, I'd say. Just get away.

1:05:50 Caller Well, another thing is, actually, I'm pregnant and I don't exactly know if I should tell him or not, if I don't like him.

1:06:00 Drew When did this happen? You were with him?

1:06:01 Caller Yeah.

1:06:02 Drew How long ago did you have sex with him? She said, yeah. When did you have sex with him?

1:06:09 Caller Well, I...

1:06:10 Drew When did you have sex with his bogus?

1:06:12 Adam Look, are you retarded or what?

1:06:17 Drew He's his bogus. What guy put you up to this?

1:06:25 Adam You want me to talk to the idiots that call this show instead of talking myself, but this is what we get.

1:06:32 Phantom Planet It's disappointing, but it's entertaining.

1:06:34 Drew When were you with this guy?

1:06:37 Adam Alright, Michelle, are you having difficulty hearing us?

1:06:43 Caller Just a little bit. You guys are kind of like staticky and cutting off.

1:06:46 Drew And so what's happening with this pregnancy?

1:06:49 Caller I'm not exactly sure yet. I'm probably going to get an abortion.

1:06:53 Adam Alright, do that.

1:06:54 Drew No, you're not. It's too late.

1:06:55 Adam What? You can do it at three months. Do that as soon as you can and we'll send you out a windbreaker.

1:07:00 Drew What are you waiting for with this? You really are at the point where you're probably not going to be able to have an abortion. So what are you going to do with this child?

1:07:13 Adam Listen, whoever's screening this crappy show, if the person's having trouble forming a sentence or stringing together words, hang up on them. I don't want to time tired of ringing people like a bar rag trying to get a goddamn answer out of them. It's just like they call up and act like we're bothering them at home. What? Yes. When? How long have you been pregnant? How long? Just shut up. Just don't call the show. If you don't got anything to say, don't call the goddamn show. And whoever's screening this show, and I can't imagine we have screeners anymore, just hang up on these retards. If they have difficulty forming sentences, hang up. I got rambling to talk about. How dare you interrupt my rambling discussion? My rambling discussion of rambling. I very... There's still many topics to hit involving rambling, and we've not gotten to any of them. Instead, we got to talk to... Kate? You're 19. What's up, baby?

1:08:21 Caller I actually have a question about birth control.

1:08:25 Adam Calling from Indiana. Another solid rambling state.

1:08:30 Caller I have a question about my birth control. I've been taking it for about six months, and I've gained a significant amount of weight.

1:08:40 Adam How much?

1:08:41 Caller About 25 pounds.

1:08:44 Adam I prematurely ramble when I hear that. I was planning on moving on in three months. I'm leaving now.

1:08:51 Caller And? I just was wondering if there was any pill that is known, like, not to make a girl gain weight.

1:09:00 Drew In general, the ones with higher progestational agents, the progesterone tends to be the one that most women are less likely to cause the weight gain. The estrogens cause the weight gain.

1:09:10 Adam So what's the difference between progesterone and estrogen?

1:09:13 Drew Two hormones produced by the ovary. The estrogen is just the female hormone that's initially produced, and later in the cycle after the egg is released, progesterone is there. And it's what sustains the placenta in the pregnancy early on.

1:09:24 Adam Do guys have any progesterone?

1:09:26 Drew Not significant amounts. Progesterone has sort of male-like effects. It has androgen effects on women to some extent. This is again back to women, how different they are.

1:09:37 Adam Hold on, Drew, you found a new way to hit the mic.

1:09:40 Drew Some with my chest.

1:09:41 Adam And I've seen Drew do it. I've seen him do it with his shoulder. I've seen him do it with his chin. I've seen him do it with his coffee mug. He'll actually use tools. Sometimes he just punches it and he works like a speed bag. Tonight, he hit it with his sternum. I didn't even know how you could do that, Drew.

1:09:53 Phantom Planet That's freestyle mic hitting.

1:09:55 Drew And here's the thing about Drew.

1:09:57 Adam Just when you say there's no other possible body part he could attack that mic with, there's no other instrument. He's used pens and mugs and CD jackets. Pow! He surprises you like this. Wow.

1:10:10 Drew So.

1:10:10 Adam They should name a clone after you.

1:10:12 Drew The, call it pow. The progesterone, it's funny, here's a more interesting intrigue about the female biological systems. Some women with progesterone makes them very sexual. It gives them sort of a masculine sex drive.

1:10:24 Adam Yeah.

1:10:25 Drew Most women with progesterone shuts them down, makes them depressed and non-sexual. Estrogen makes them receptive. The whole experience of receptivity and sexuality is something men do not have at all. That's why women can have. That's nice. That's why women having sex can just have sex and not have an orgasm and go see. I had a very satisfying experience. The receptive experience was satisfactory. But there was no androgen, no male-type influence there.

1:10:49 Adam Right. So if you're putting on the weight, you should go up with the progesterone and the birth control.

1:10:55 Drew The problem being, though, that you risk shutting down the sex drive and increasing mood problems.

1:11:00 Adam Yeah. But if you're skinny, just sort of bite the bullet and put out and the guy's happy. Now, here's the thing. You didn't go back to your doctor and get yourself dialed in, right?

1:11:09 Drew Yeah. Get dialed in, man. Get score.

1:11:11 Adam Yeah. Guys dial in. Yeah, do that. Like with a carburetor. Just a mixer. Just a little bit. Maybe she's running a little bit lean. We're reaching her up a little.

1:11:20 Drew She's not running lean. That's the problem.

1:11:22 Phantom Planet That's a medical term.

1:11:23 Adam Well, I mean, she's running a little rich and we lean around. Change of timing. We retard the timing a little. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. Yeah. It's time to take a break. Phantom Planet here tonight. We got ourselves screwed up because we played the song in the wrong part of the show. And Drew can't stop talking about rambling or zombie rambling zombie, though.

1:11:44 Phantom Planet Oh, that's the song by the end of the show right there.

1:11:47 Caller Yeah.

1:11:47 Adam Yeah.

1:11:48 Phantom Planet Midday zombie rambling.

1:11:50 Caller I think noontime is better than midday.

1:11:52 Caller Noontime sounds more rambling.

1:11:53 Phantom Planet Noontime.

1:11:53 Caller Yeah.

1:11:54 Adam All right. Well, and then we will adjust that when it starts getting dark earlier. You know, probably move it down to like 1130. Take a quick break. We'll be right back. Hello.

1:12:09 Caller Every hour, two Americans under the age of 25 are infected with HIV.

1:12:24 Adam Hey, yo, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. Sam and Alexander both here from Phantom Planet. Going to be down in Ontario at 7 o'clock tomorrow night playing at the Virgin Mega Store and then out on Tower on Sunset at 2 p.m. on Saturday, playing live shows, two live shows. Only 80 bucks to get it.

1:12:50 Drew In spite of your rambling discourse and anger towards our callers, I think we have had some good calls tonight.

1:12:56 Adam Really?

1:12:56 Drew Yeah.

1:12:57 Phantom Planet I mean, I feel good about the evening.

1:12:58 Adam Do you?

1:12:59 Drew I feel good about you feeling good.

1:13:00 Phantom Planet I don't think any time was wasted. I think we spent it well together.

1:13:04 Adam Definitely. We've squeezed a lot of show a lot of time. Definitely, definitely.

1:13:10 Caller Hey Adam.

1:13:11 Adam I'm thrown off, yes.

1:13:12 Caller You've upset Brian in here pretty good because he tries very hard and he struggles with these jackasses that call in every night and he broke his little heart. It's very sad. It's very sad.

1:13:21 Adam Sorry buddy. Now it's time to move on. Time to ramble? I'm a rambling man. All right, listen, Brian, I know you're one man doing the work of at least one.

1:13:33 Phantom Planet Two or three.

1:13:34 Adam Yeah, at least two or three guys. No, you're working hard. Look, it's a cyclical thing. Some nights are tougher than others. Full mode, too. Is it full mode?

1:13:42 Drew All right, well.

1:13:43 Phantom Planet Well, that explains it, right? A lot. Well, is there scientific basis for that?

1:13:48 Drew No.

1:13:49 Phantom Planet No, but we have no gravitational pulls or something.

1:13:52 Adam And Brian, you know you're my favorite phone screener.

1:13:55 Phantom Planet Right?

1:13:56 Adam We don't have any other ones?

1:13:57 Drew No, we don't.

1:13:57 Adam Okay, well, you're number one. Come on, buddy. Now, here's my point.

1:14:02 Drew I genuinely did like some of these calls. They've been a little different, interesting.

1:14:06 Adam No, they're great screen.

1:14:07 Drew We've only taken three of them, but they've been good.

1:14:08 Adam Great screening. Did you hit the mic again?

1:14:10 Drew Yeah, my thumb.

1:14:11 Caller Brian said you're his favorite blowhard.

1:14:13 Adam How, by the way? Shut your mic, would you, Anderson? Drew, how is it you punched a mic?

1:14:19 Drew How is it you hear it if I do that? I guess you do hear it.

1:14:22 Phantom Planet Hypersensitivity.

1:14:22 Adam Okay, let me say this, and I'm a little upset because I was in the bathroom, and when I go to the bathroom.

1:14:28 Drew You hear yourself.

1:14:29 Adam I like the whiz. I like the whiz at the one down the hall. We share a hallway with Arrow, which is the classic rock station out here.

1:14:38 Drew Don't do it, don't do it.

1:14:39 Adam No, I won't get us into trouble by saying what a crappy station they are. Like I got into trouble last time, and they're fine. It's just, there's just certain songs that I didn't hear bad to the bone by George Sturgeon five million times a day. But that's not what I'm talking about. Here's what I'm talking about. I heard, should I stay or should I go by the clash while I was taking a leak on the classic rock station? And I thought, holy Christ, am I old?

1:15:06 Drew Yeah.

1:15:06 Adam You know you're old when you're listening to the clash on the classic rock station.

1:15:11 Drew Oh yeah.

1:15:12 Phantom Planet They played Nirvana, I believe.

1:15:14 Adam Really?

1:15:14 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:15:15 Adam We're old. Man, are we old?

1:15:18 Phantom Planet Officially.

1:15:18 Drew All right.

1:15:19 Adam All right, you ready to move forward?

1:15:21 Drew No, I'm depressed now.

1:15:22 Adam All right, let's take some notes.

1:15:23 Drew I introduced a soft cell the other day at a sort of a throwback concert.

1:15:27 Adam Really? Well, you are old.

1:15:29 Drew That would be fair.

1:15:30 Adam I'll tell you, but one thing that never does get old is you punching the mic or me talking about rambling.

1:15:35 Drew Never gets old. Hammer, grain.

1:15:38 Adam And let's talk to Hammer. By the way, should I stay or should I go? Heavily overrated song. Close your eyes and listen to the first two minutes of that song.

1:15:50 Phantom Planet You don't beat London Calling or Sandinista.

1:15:53 Adam That's clamped down. Great song. Clash has some great songs. They have some great songs. Should I stay or should I go? Not one of their better efforts. And let's all just call us up here.

1:16:06 Caller You guys are really smart.

1:16:07 I was wondering if you could help me with two problems I have.

1:16:11 Adam It's getting close to rambling time, so hurry.

1:16:13 Caller OK, thanks.

1:16:14 The second one is more importantly, so don't hang up on me. Go. I have a boyfriend right now. I've been seeing him for probably about six months. And like maybe about a month or two ago, I just kind of like my sex drive just kind of stopped. I'm not having sex with them, but we do sexual things, basically a lot of other stuff.

1:16:34 Drew What's your other question? Just so we understand.

1:16:37 My question is, I'm kind of wondering if it's a product of like me being molested when I was younger or if I'm just kind of wanting to be a big flirt and go find somebody else. Because I really like him. He's really nice.

1:16:49 Drew Those are the same thing in certain respects.

1:16:51 Adam What are you doing with him sexually, oral sex?

1:16:57 Drew I can get by with that. Well, here's the deal. Are you on any medication now? No. No birth control pill or anything like that?

1:17:05 Caller No, no, no.

1:17:06 Drew No antidepressants?

1:17:07 Caller Nope.

1:17:08 Drew And you're otherwise medically healthy?

1:17:10 Caller Kind of. I'm a bad vegetarian.

1:17:14 Drew You have an eating disorder?

1:17:15 Caller I eat candy.

1:17:17 Drew You have an eating disorder?

1:17:19 Caller Yeah.

1:17:20 Adam She eats more candy than a Spridle.

1:17:22 Drew But I imagine there was periods of time where she didn't eat anything, right?

1:17:26 Caller No, no. I've always ate.

1:17:28 Adam Well, let me ask this. By the way, Phoenix, good rambling. Good rambling.

1:17:33 Caller Rambling spot? I like it when you guys ramble.

1:17:35 Drew Flagstaff really is the one.

1:17:36 Caller Flagstaff is better.

1:17:37 Drew But that's good.

1:17:38 Adam Arizona, good rambling. States solid. The question is, have you ever had sex with him?

1:17:46 Caller No, not with him. I have had sex before with other people. I'm really worried about making a big list of guys.

1:17:53 Drew Do you normally only have sex with guys you don't really like?

1:17:58 Caller No, no. I lost my virginity to somebody that I liked. And the last two I thought I liked, but I didn't.

1:18:06 Adam Well, how long have you been with this guy?

1:18:07 Caller Six months approximately. I don't really know.

1:18:12 Adam It seems like you guys are boyfriend and girlfriend now. You're both into your twenties. Maybe it's time to do the dirty deed.

1:18:21 Caller You think?

1:18:23 Adam I do kind of think so. I mean, if you're into the guy, the guy's twenty-four.

1:18:27 Caller I know, but I don't even feel like doing sexual things.

1:18:30 Drew See, here's the thing. Is that because the sexual abuse made her feel shameful and horrible and dirty, to be sexual, she has to sort of connect with the disavowed aspect of herself. And the only person she could do that with is somebody who's also dirty and she doesn't really care about. And so someone that she really cares about is a good guy and she idealizes that her shame stands out in relation to that.

1:18:52 Adam Great. God's great, isn't he?

1:18:53 Drew Yeah, I know.

1:18:54 Adam Punish the righteous.

1:18:55 Drew Yeah.

1:18:55 Adam Fantastic. The guy who combs his hair with the switchblade comb.

1:19:00 Drew He's the one.

1:19:01 Adam Gets sex all day long. Yeah.

1:19:04 Drew Yeah. So really, it is kind of important, I think, if you're going to get better from all this, to just hang in with this guy.

1:19:09 Adam But that's a tough guy.

1:19:10 Drew And to try to have.

1:19:11 Adam To comb his actual weapon.

1:19:12 Drew Try to have intimate feelings. Try to be physical with him.

1:19:14 Caller So I can start to kind of, you know, yeah, okay.

1:19:17 Drew Don't realize you're sabotaging, you're pushing away. This is pushing away from part of yourself. Do you feel that?

1:19:21 Adam Second question. You know, I like the switchblade comb combined with the pistol lighter. Those are my things. And the flamethrower toothbrush. Oh, no, no, no. God's got them all.

1:19:33 Phantom Planet Is that the one you masturbated with the first time?

1:19:34 Adam Really takes the black off. How dare you?

1:19:36 Phantom Planet Hello?

1:19:37 Adam No, it's my friend's mom's. Amber?

1:19:39 Drew That you masturbated with? Your friend's mom's electric toothbrush?

1:19:41 Adam I didn't use her attachment.

1:19:42 Drew Was it the sonic one or the old fashioned up and back ones?

1:19:46 Adam Look.

1:19:47 Phantom Planet It had gears.

1:19:48 Adam Yeah, it had gears. You had to constantly oil it. It was a wood burning one.

1:19:54 Phantom Planet Steam engine.

1:19:55 Adam Yeah, you had to stoke it. It had a bell roll. What's up there? What's your second question? Be fast.

1:20:03 Caller My second question is about my sister. She's been like, she got married and the day she got married, she went into like some kind of a flashback type thing. And she's been divorced now and she still kind of goes into them sometimes. What she does is she just like, if she, I think it's when she's stressed out, she goes into the bathroom and she's like, oh, I'm going to go to the bathroom. And she's like, oh, I'm going to go to the bathroom.

1:20:22 Drew Okay, well, she was abused to, and these are all part of post-traumatic stress disorder when people have flashbacks like that, and she needs treatment.

1:20:30 Caller Yeah, but whenever I try to talk to her about it, I try and talk to her about it, she can go back into it.

1:20:39 Drew Correct. Amber, you do not want to be evocative around her. If you go to her and you...

1:20:45 Adam Invoking things in her.

1:20:46 Drew Yes, if you become intent on making her feel better, I'm going to help you, tell me about your feelings, she will go into a fugue. She will dissociate and she will have flashbacks.

1:20:56 Adam How do you go into a fugue?

1:20:58 Drew You know, Pock wrote fugues, counterpoint.

1:21:02 Adam Yeah, like our audience knows that you're talking about.

1:21:03 Drew Fugue is a state where you're just sort of staring off into the distance. You're sort of disconnected, dissociated.

1:21:09 Adam That's the look the ladies have when I tell them it's time for me to ramble, by the way. Yeah.

1:21:14 Drew Really? Then they jump around with joy.

1:21:15 Adam Yeah, and then they'll fugue you. Star?

1:21:19 Caller Yeah.

1:21:19 Adam Star. Is that your real name?

1:21:22 Caller Yes, it is, actually. My parents were hippies.

1:21:24 Adam A lot of pressure, by the way, with the name Star, especially when you're working at Arby's. It's going to be sadly ironic.

1:21:32 Phantom Planet There are a lot of hippie parents out there.

1:21:33 Drew Yeah. I think you guys would be about the last of that generation of hippies.

1:21:38 Adam They should be. Yeah. We should be done.

1:21:41 Drew 23-year-olds shouldn't have hippie parents.

1:21:42 Adam Yeah, after all, we're listening to The Clash on the classic rock station.

1:21:45 Drew 23-year-olds with hippie parents really had homeless parents.

1:21:49 Adam Right. Right.

1:21:51 Caller They probably lived in a VW bus or something.

1:21:53 Adam Oh, calling from Arkansas.

1:21:55 Caller Yeah.

1:21:55 Adam Good rambling state. Solid.

1:21:58 Caller My question is, is when I was 16, I had some real bad family problems and stuff and I became a cutter. When I was 18, the guy that I had been with since I was 15, he finally convinced me that I needed to go to therapy and I needed to get help for this. So I was in therapy for about three years. I went to therapy, I was on anti-depressants and stuff like this and before this, I had, I've been with the same guy since I was 15. He's been with me through all of this and he's helped me through a lot. Well, before this all started, we had a normal sex life and like I kind of, I took a break from like my therapist said to kind of to get myself together and to get over my urge to cut and everything. I've been off the antidepressants now for about eight months and here in the past like three months, in order for me to work out when we have sex, like he has to like claw me until I basically bleed. And I'm wanting to know if that's something to do with my problem that I had with cutting.

1:23:05 Drew Yeah.

1:23:06 Caller Is it something that I probably need to get back into therapy for?

1:23:10 Drew It starts a great question and the reality is I don't think anyone can answer it completely accurately for you. Clearly when people have been traumatized the way you've been, individuals need very high and unusual levels of arousal and stimulation or to feel sexual and have sexual experiences. The cutting and the arousal associated with that may be part of the picture in that it's that kind of arousal that allows you to have feelings that might be otherwise threatening and for you in your case sexual feelings might be kind of threatening and may sort of manage them and be allowed to let them freely flow when you have that sort of cutting experience there to kind of help contain them. I did not hit the mic that time. That wasn't me.

1:23:48 Adam I know.

1:23:48 Phantom Planet That was me.

1:23:52 Drew The point is people have not really worked out what that biology is yet though clearly it's all connected with the trauma and the need to cut in order to deal with the associative kinds of mechanisms and affect regulation deficiencies and naturally enough in a sexual act where you know feelings and intense biologists are supposed to flow they can't, they can't just too threatening, too overwhelming and there may there actually probably biological wiring issues there that to prevent that from happening without high levels of arousal.

1:24:18 Adam You know it's important aspect of rambling is you got to kill a guy in self-defense at some point.

1:24:23 Drew And that makes you start rambling again.

1:24:25 Adam One of the reasons you need to ramble from that town. If you ramble back to that town you may be in trouble. You kill a man, he pulls a knife on you in the parking lot, fight breaks out, he's dead, you got to ramble.

1:24:38 Drew And he dies because he trips as he's lunging for you with his knife. It's not necessarily your fault.

1:24:44 Phantom Planet That's a hard rambling requirement though I think.

1:24:46 Adam What's the big deal?

1:24:47 Drew What's wrong with all of them?

1:24:47 Adam The thing about rambling is it's never your fault but you don't really have time to stick around and explain to the authorities what happened.

1:24:55 Drew Which again is more evidence of ramblers really just some sort of low life, trouble making guy. Of course this guy did it. And by the way he would be the guy that would see it as I didn't do anything.

1:25:07 Adam Right. Yeah. Yeah not afraid to fight the ramblers. That's the fist to the talking. Rambling guys ironically don't talk that much.

1:25:14 Drew Ironically.

1:25:16 Adam But ironically. They let their feet do their talking.

1:25:18 Drew It's nice.

1:25:19 Adam Whereas I let my mouth do my talking and my feet do my rambling.

1:25:23 Drew It's ironic.

1:25:24 Phantom Planet It's complex. It's gotten extremely complex.

1:25:28 Adam Well, I'm just saying, it's ironic that rambling guys don't gab that much. Like Jews, Jews, they're a culture that likes to talk.

1:25:38 Drew And not ramble.

1:25:40 Adam Zero rambling in the Jewish, amongst the Jews.

1:25:44 Phantom Planet Is there a lot of generalization that goes on?

1:25:46 Adam It seems like it, but I defy you to find me historically a rambling Jew, which would be a great title, Rabbi Rambler.

1:25:54 Phantom Planet Rabbi Rambler is incredible.

1:25:57 Adam What? I should ramble? We should ramble? All right. Yeah, maybe that's the name of the song.

1:26:03 Drew There was a period of Jewish history where there was some rambling that went on.

1:26:06 Adam Several thousand years in the desert.

1:26:08 Drew Yeah, that's when the rambling occurred. But that was enough. That was it. They had their ass full of it and that was it.

1:26:12 Adam And that was a continuous ramble, which I argue is not rambling.

1:26:15 Drew Because you don't stop and...

1:26:16 Adam Yeah, that's meandering. All right, we'll take a quick break. There, buddy. Loveline. I'm Adam. Phantom Planet is here tonight, everybody. Well, I think we got a law. Do we have to hear something else off the CD?

1:26:53 Phantom Planet Yeah, I think legally you're required. To.

1:26:57 Adam We got a quick question about someone whose clitoris has grown twice as big as it was before. A reason for me not to ramble, ironically. I might hang out a little longer with the giant clitoris. Christy, that's a song called I Was Going to Rumble. And then you're Clickbro. Christy? Oh, Drew. Oh, Christy, what's up?

1:27:26 Caller Um, yeah, I was a gymnast for a long time, from about age five to about 19, and my coach gave me steroids, and it caused clitoral enlargement.

1:27:38 Drew It also caused your voice, you hear her voice a little rough and really deep. Anyway, go ahead. You're wondering what? Is it normal?

1:27:52 Adam Will it go back?

1:27:53 Drew Not necessarily. It will not necessarily shrink back. Clitoromegaly is a routine complication of anabolic androgenic steroid.

1:28:02 Adam Yeah. I'd say I'm just working out some of the beats here.

1:28:06 Drew It's just rough, but...

1:28:20 Adam No, grew, yeah, it grew. So I took my boots off and hopped in bed, and didn't get up. Yeah, I gave you some, we work it out. We work it out.

1:28:31 Phantom Planet You got quite the freestyling.

1:28:33 Adam I was a rambling man.

1:28:34 Drew Now it's really bizarre. You're talking again about giving head to a woman with a jackalotaurus.

1:28:41 Adam Yeah, that's a little gay. That's you're right. I'm going to clean that up. Plus, I got to get it clean for radio because it's going to be played on country stage.

1:28:47 Drew This is the song.

1:28:49 Adam So I'll work on an American rambling man who was going to ramble, but you click her. All right. I'm a guy. Rambling American man who was going to gamble. Let's hear something from Phantom Planet.

1:29:07 Phantom Planet Yeah.

1:29:08 Adam Yeah. All right. This one is called First Things First. Phantom Planet. I like that song. Probably be playing it when you're out in Ontario.

1:32:07 Drew Rambling.

1:32:08 Adam Rambling out there.

1:32:09 Drew Great rambling territory.

1:32:11 Adam It's decent. It's good rambling skate.

1:32:14 Phantom Planet It's flat.

1:32:14 Drew Well, it's practice rambling. You know, prep rambling, you know?

1:32:19 Adam You think yourself, yeah. 18 wheelers and lizards. It's great. It's good rambling.

1:32:23 Phantom Planet If there were a school for rambling, you might take it at Ontario.

1:32:27 Drew That's right.

1:32:27 Adam Right, right.

1:32:28 Phantom Planet A graduate school.

1:32:29 Adam Like, they're out, like, the military uses 29 pounds to train for the desert warfare. When I open my first rambling school, and it will be my first of many, I will be based out of Ontario because it's got a good simulated rambling.

1:32:42 Drew We've got to ramble to the lead.

1:32:44 Phantom Planet Ease the young people into it.

1:32:46 Adam Yeah.

1:32:46 Drew Let's go.

1:32:46 Adam Yeah. Good rambling topography. So, so, I'm going to ramble. Rabbi Rambler. Rabbi Rambler. That says one N-I. I was going to ramble. But your clit grew. All right, let's take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:33:02 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

1:33:04 Caller Looking to hook up?

1:33:05 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:06 Caller Stick a waist in time with the wrong person? Call the Dateline.

1:33:08 Caller One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

1:33:11 Caller 1-877-889-DATE. You know what I'm saying, I'm Dan?

1:33:34 Adam Alright everybody, well that's the show. And it's time for us to do what, Drew?

1:33:38 Drew Time to ramble.

1:33:39 Adam That's right. Well, I think Alexander and Sam coming in here from Rambling Planet.

1:33:44 Drew I hope you'll understand.

1:33:47 Adam Phantom Planet, everybody. That's the name of CD. It's out. Get it. And look for them in Ontario tomorrow. And then Middle of Sunset Strip on Saturday. I want to thank Brian for doing a fantastic job doing the phones tonight. Harsh words. I want to thank the Magic Finger 1 engineer Anderson for not only swinging the potentiometers around, but rushing to Brian's defense. What a humanitarian. Whatever. I also want to thank Junior, producer Lauren for doing a fabulous job for however many days she was in this week. And of course, Senior producer Ann for doing a great job booking the show and putting it together. And engineer Chris out here on site. And so until next time, I'm Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:34:42 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, January 8, 2004