Episode 1000585414209

1:04 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, digs and bends specialist. Hoobastank in here tonight. Dan and Doug both here for the band. Good to see these guys. I remember, you know, Drew, I only work off feelings, you know what I mean?

1:23 Drew Yeah, that's you.

1:24 Adam I don't work in specifics. I work in feelings.

1:26 Drew It's exquisite sensitive feelings.

1:28 Adam And I was thinking, and here's all I think, here's what I think, I was thinking, Hoobastank tonight and then I thought, pain in the ass?

1:34 Drew No.

1:35 Adam No?

1:35 Drew No. No?

1:36 Adam I like, I think of feeling.

1:37 Drew So we have feelings. Band names raise feelings.

1:41 Hoobastank They evoke certain emotions in you?

1:42 Drew Evokes emotions.

1:42 Adam Yeah, like at the drive-in, pain in the ass. A-holes. Black rape? Black rape? Oh, what happened to black rape? What about those a-holes jumble well? It's like, I can't even hear. Someone brings up their name. Cause you gotta go in and you gotta deal with these a-holes. You know, they sit there.

2:02 Drew Hoobastank, smiley feeling.

2:04 Hoobastank was like, ee.

2:05 Drew Good feeling, yeah.

2:06 Hoobastank Yeah, little birds.

2:07 That, that, hey.

2:11 Adam Yeah, I just, I just remember, yeah, okay. We got no problem with those.

2:15 Hoobastank No problems.

2:15 Adam Those kids, we're gonna have a good time with Hoobastank. We're gonna, those rock and roll kids. We're gonna hear something off the new CD. Drew heard them playing acoustically moments ago.

2:27 Drew Here on K-Rock, yeah, Los Angeles, it was great.

2:29 Adam Very impressed. Yes, you were. Yeah. I noticed the guitar cases here.

2:33 Drew They played in, they played in that room.

2:35 Adam I know, but maybe at some point. Oh. You guys can't play twice in one night.

2:43 Hoobastank We're trying to be more like pain in the ass-ish. Yeah.

2:47 Adam All right.

2:48 Hoobastank So no acoustic.

2:49 We're gonna start filling this out right now.

2:50 Hoobastank Yeah.

2:51 Oh.

2:53 Drew Adam's head explodes.

2:54 Adam That's Drew's test that he has everybody fill out.

2:57 Drew All right. Hey, speaking of tests, emergency contraception, today approved for over-the-counter use. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Big day. Holy Christ, that's a big day.

3:06 Adam Yeah.

3:07 Drew And by the way, some of the opponents showed their hands a little bit on really what was motivating them to come against this product, which by the way, if you're against this product, you're against all birth control.

3:17 Adam Right.

3:18 Drew One of the critics stated, women who use emergency contraceptive show an inability to control themselves in sexual situations. Are you kidding me? Yeah, that's their reason for Jennifer Taylor of the Anti-Abortion Human Life International. What a bitch. So they're hiding in the shroud of being anti-abortion, which is a reasonable position to take, but really take the position of anti-out of marriage, sexual contact.

3:43 Adam Well, how many times have I said that?

3:45 Drew Yeah, here it is.

3:46 Adam Look, whenever somebody has too much energy for something, it always means there's a dark, deep underbelly. It's like Strom Thurmond, you know? He's a segregationist. He doesn't want blacks and whites marrying. He wants them in the back of the bus and stuff. Meanwhile, he's boffing his 16-year-old maid, you know? There's always that energy. Always that energy. Preachers, this is why they always get... Here's the deal. You shouldn't have too strong an opinion about anything. You should have a strong opinion about cars and music, and that's about it. Have a couple of favorite TV shows. You shouldn't be out marching or chaining yourself to dump trucks or anything like that. It always means something. And the whole abortion thing, because Drew was saying, because we've been talking about this morning after pill for years, he would say, well, these people want to get rid of abortion. Here's a good way to get rid of abortion. Why aren't they embracing this? And I would say what, Drew?

4:39 Drew He would say, you're an idiot, Drew. You don't understand these people just don't want people to have sex.

4:44 Adam They don't like the idea of free sex.

4:46 Drew Getting away with it, yes.

4:47 Hoobastank Getting away with sex. Like it's a crime.

4:50 Adam No, if somebody picks up someone at a bar, takes them home and nails them and never talks to them again, that is what they're against. Not so much the product of that union, but it's that people can do this willy nilly. And they never come out and say it. They just focus on the abortion part. But then lo and behold, someone comes up with a magical pill that is gonna do away with the abortion and they're dead set against it.

5:14 Drew That's ridiculous. My point is always, hey, do you want to help people out or you want to sit in an ideological camp?

5:19 Adam My point is, is if you're some Bible thumping puss who thinks the earth is 2,000 years old and still in the cooling period, then say it. Just be man enough to say, I didn't get laid in high school. I had bad acne on my back.

5:35 Hoobastank I had all those problems too, but I don't go screaming that around too.

5:38 You got into a band.

5:40 Drew You solved it.

5:41 Adam You solved that problem. You solved the riddle of not getting laid by getting in the band.

5:44 Hoobastank Yeah.

5:45 Adam Yeah.

5:45 Hoobastank I knew it was good for something.

5:47 Adam I just mean just say, you don't think people should be having sex on a wedlock.

5:50 Drew That's fine, right. That we can have a discussion, right.

5:52 Adam And now it's a different philosophical discussion we're having.

5:55 Hoobastank So now what are they gonna say?

5:57 Adam They're still against it.

5:59 Drew Yeah, I want Walmart to eat the pharmacists over there to eat a little crow because they're saying, oh, it's an abortion pill. No, hey, you're scientists, guys. You're professionals, read the science, come on.

6:10 Right, all right.

6:11 Adam It's good times. Anyway, that's the whole thing about this.

6:14 This is making me horny, man.

6:15 Adam This country of ours, someone comes up with a decent idea and never gets off the ground. All right, where are we?

6:21 Drew Taking line one.

6:21 Adam Line one. And here's something from Hoobastank, by the way, off of The Reason, which just came out last Tuesday, one week ago.

6:29 Caller David?

6:30 Adam You're 16? You go limp when you're trying to have sex with your girlfriend? Can't even get it in?

6:38 Caller No.

6:39 Drew Bad times.

6:40 Adam Oh, that's bad.

6:40 Hoobastank I had a really, really close friend who had the same problem. Oh yeah, really?

6:43 Yeah, Adam, a friend.

6:45 Drew Oh, a friend.

6:45 Hoobastank Not on the radio.

6:51 Adam And this is, it's 16, what's up? This is nerves, right?

6:54 Drew Or medication, a medication?

6:56 Caller No.

6:57 Drew Are you having any medical problems?

6:59 Caller No, not at all.

7:07 Drew That would be normal. That's normal.

7:09 Adam That's less penis to inflate.

7:11 Drew But the fact that you're concerned about it and it doesn't work right speaks volumes about how anxious and preoccupied and how low your self-esteem is.

7:20 Adam Is there anything worse than trying to thread that vaginal needle with a limp piece of thread? You know what I mean? Is it like the second you get that first sort of half band or where the penis tacos and you're like, oh, Christ. And then there's nothing more pathetic than this sort of chub up slash masturbation, porn actor move. You know that move? Let me explain something here. If you watch the gang bang films, you'll realize there's a casual way to chub up that's not exactly masturbating. Like there's beating off and then there's maintaining blood in your penis. It's sort of, you know what joggers do with the stoplight?

7:59 They just sort of.

8:04 Adam I'm just keeping the blood moving here. There's the guy, it's always a funny move too. It's sort of a half-assed beat off. There's the gang bang film and there's the guys that are waiting in line and they're just sort of, hey.

8:17 Caller They're just kind of wiggling it a little bit.

8:18 Adam Yeah, it ain't beating off. Oh, you'd know it if I was beating off. It's sort of a two-finger underhand kind of thing and it's got a little circular motion to it. It's not a real piston-like action. It's a casual like you're talking to somebody. Is that a new watch? Nice, yeah. That's an embarrassing move to do in front of a woman, though, because they immediately take it personally. What's going on?

8:41 Drew You need to do this?

8:42 Adam Yeah, what's with the hand? And then you get freaked out.

8:46 Drew Let me take care of that.

8:48 Adam David? How long you been going out with this girl?

8:53 Caller Almost three months.

8:55 Drew You're 16.

8:56 Adam Have you had some successful sex with her?

9:00 Well, I'm like really good with everything else.

9:02 Caller And so, I mean, we were like ready to take it to the next level.

9:06 Hoobastank Have you had sex at all?

9:08 Drew Ever?

9:09 Caller I mean, I've gotten close so many times back.

9:11 Drew How many times have you tried it with this woman? This girl?

9:14 Caller This, well, tonight was the third.

9:17 Drew Third time. Third time. You may just be worried about it happening so much and make it happen. It's very common for guys, first one or two times out, very common to have a little failure.

9:26 Adam It's also weird if you technically break the plane of the vagina, but it's with the side of your penis.

9:36 Drew Especially when it's a folded side.

9:37 Hoobastank That counts.

9:38 Adam It counts, yeah. It's like in a car race, sometimes a guy'll spin out on the last lap and cross the finish line sideways with smoke coming out. That's basically what that's the equivalent to.

9:47 Drew But you once, Adam, spoke about what it's like when the penis doesn't function, and especially when it's around anxiety.

9:52 Adam No feeling.

9:53 Drew Yeah, it becomes somebody else's penis.

9:54 Adam Yeah, who doesn't have a boner, by the way. Yeah, it just doesn't, you lose feeling in it. Yeah, what is that, Drew?

10:00 Drew That is anxiety.

10:01 Adam Okay, but what, let me ask.

10:03 Drew That's an association from your body.

10:05 Adam What is it about, why are we designed this way in that, you know, you're a little bit nervous, so your mouth gets a little dry, and you start perspiring, so you get that nice big flop, sweat underneath your armpits, you know, and your teeth chatter a little bit, and you get a little antsy in your penis. How does this serve us? Do you know what I'm saying?

10:26 Drew Because in nature.

10:27 Adam Forget about nature. I'm talking about you're going on, you're doing a talk show or a guest lecture or something.

10:32 Drew Oh, why do we have those reactions?

10:33 Adam All of a sudden, you got that weird gulp thing and the cotton mouth and the sweat pits on it, you know, like, huh? So everyone knows.

10:39 Drew Why do we have nervousness?

10:41 Adam I just mean, shouldn't we, why shouldn't we seize up?

10:44 Drew Why can't we control it?

10:46 Adam Yeah, why shouldn't we get stronger and more?

10:48 Drew Hey, listen, you give me grief all the time. I don't have external signs of this. I freeze. My brain freezes. I cease to be able to retrieve information. So when I'm on the spot, I clam up. I can't, my brain freezes. Yeah.

11:02 Adam Well, yeah, it kicks start your brain.

11:04 Drew Yeah, it's awful. It gets you going. You know, why should we have that? Why can't we control it?

11:08 Adam Yeah, why not?

11:09 Drew You know.

11:10 Adam Okay, you don't know.

11:11 Drew Your brain just froze. Well, no, I do know. I think for us that there's when you're traumatized growing up or neglected growing up, there's parcellations of those sorts of the autonomic nervous system from the integration of the rest of the brain.

11:21 Adam What about just regular people? Why do we need to start sweating and getting cotton mouth when we're nervous and it F's up our whatever we're doing even more? See what I'm saying?

11:33 Drew Yeah. Why can't we? Again, why can't we control that?

11:35 Adam Why can't we lubricate nicely? Why can't we get a good boner?

11:39 Drew You know, maybe in a million years we will because that's a primitive fight or flight response to things that are.

11:46 Adam Yeah. Our thing is like we're responding like we're getting attacked by Kodiak bear when the reality is we're just going out on stage.

11:53 Hoobastank Because it's hard to run from a bear with a boner.

11:55 Yeah.

11:56 Adam There you go.

11:56 Drew This guy's a genius.

11:57 Adam Have you tried because I hear it's really hard to run from wild animals with boners.

12:02 Caller You have to tuck it up in the belt.

12:04 Yeah.

12:04 Caller That gets rid of it.

12:05 Drew Did you talk about that last time you were here?

12:07 Yeah.

12:08 Adam But if the bear has a boner, it does make it easier for you to run because the idea of being raped and eaten, raped and then devoured. What was the worst part? Being eaten by the bear? It's actually being raped, pre-eaten, raped. He was eating me and raping. He was actually in me while he was eating my arm. It'd be a nice way to go, wouldn't it, Drew?

12:29 All right.

12:30 Adam Sean?

12:31 Caller Yeah.

12:32 Adam What's up?

12:34 Caller Well, I got here, the thing about the dogs, the sniff out, your crotch sniffing dogs, there's some kind of film or this that I stumbled across. But it's, I'll just read the article here.

12:47 Adam I had an idea, by the way, for dogs to sniff out venereal disease and cancer in women's crotches. Now, and I'm just saying that, you know, that dogs have that, you know, thousand times more sensitive sense of smell and, you know, they can smell the gunpowder packed in coffee grounds or marijuana or any of this stuff. They could smell a venereal disease on a woman.

13:12 Hoobastank You think so?

13:13 Adam I think so. Yeah, I think I could. I think we can try. They can smell skin cancer, I found out, too, which I didn't know about when I was initially pitching this idea. Everything's got its own smell and dogs can smell it. I mean, I mean, think about it. You take a couple of joints, you put it in some coffee grounds and you weld it into a car fender and the dog smells it. Certainly could smell a little yeast infection or maybe some, I don't know, what do you got down there? Chlamydia. Chlamydia, that's got its own smell.

13:41 Drew Got a real GC.

13:42 Adam Go ahead, Sean.

13:43 Caller All right. Well, it's not quite the cross-snicking, sniffing dogs, but it's close here. Anyway, I'll just read the article. It's a giant rat in Sub-Saharan Africa are being trained to sniff out tuberculosis in humans. The rats have already been successfully used to detect landmines by the rotor. Preliminary tests suggest the rats could test as many as 150 saliva samples for TB in just 30 minutes. By contrast, human technicians use a microscope to test only 20 samples a day. The World Bank has now provided $165,000 for full study of the rat's diagnostic potential.

14:11 Drew That is amazing. That's amazing.

14:16 Caller That's a giant rat in Sub-Saharan Africa.

14:18 Drew Big ones.

14:22 Adam Why is everything out of Africa so effed up? Why is everything big and nasty and poisonous and scary? Should people be there? Should people stay out of Florida and Africa? People are always like, oh, the cockroaches out here in Florida are like the size of mice. Oh, the rats are. Maybe we shouldn't be. In Africa, whenever you hear about these things, these Africanized killer bees and all this stuff, maybe we just don't need to be there. It doesn't seem like the folks are doing real great over there. There's a bunch of AIDS and stuff going around. Everyone's lighting a tire around each other, tribes kicking the crap out of each other. Let's just pack it up. You know what I mean? When do we just with Africa go, we've given a few thousand years, not really working out. The animals have won. Let's just hit the road.

15:14 Drew It's similar in the sort of northern hinterlands like Alaska and stuff. Everything grows big and ferocious and prehistoric.

15:21 Adam Not a great place to be. Let's just move on.

15:23 Drew The weather is impossible.

15:24 Adam Pack it in. We're moving to Baja. See, you know what I'm saying? Here we got some hot weather, but we got a nice little surf. You guys can do some tuna fishing, maybe grow some weed or something. We don't need to be in Africa. Everyone's starving. Everyone's got a disease. Rats are giant.

15:42 Drew Going to break. You're going to come next call.

15:44 Adam No, next call. Yeah. Next call. We got to hear Hoobastank.

15:47 Drew We'll do that now?

15:48 Adam Song, too. Yeah, I don't mean we have to hear it. I mean, we get to hear it. We're privileged to hear Hoobastank.

15:56 Drew Do you want to do it during this break or the beginning of the next one?

15:58 Adam I think we should hear one. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Because I got to talk to you guys more about Africa. Yeah. You ready there, Chris? First song, by the way, The Reason is the name of the new CD and it's called Out of Control.

16:13 Caller One, two, three, four.

18:56 Adam That's a little Hoobastank for you. Dan and Doug here.

19:02 Caller You know, that was the the pretty acoustic version of that song.

19:07 Adam Nice.

19:07 Caller Not the real.

19:08 Hoobastank I didn't expect that at all. Yeah, we're really upset about that.

19:11 Adam Well, that's all right because we will. So yeah, that's not off the reason.

19:16 Caller No, that song is on the album, but it's a lot heavier on the album. Right.

19:24 Adam Why, by the way, do they... How does that work? Where you get the album, you get the album name, the title song, and then you say it's off the album, and then you get a song that's not on the album.

19:34 Hoobastank I don't even know how that happened.

19:35 Adam All right. That's right. Heads are gonna roll. That's for goddamn sure. All right, Drew. I won't recover from this either.

19:41 Drew Yeah, you will. Let's take a Germany or Florida.

19:43 Adam I'm cool. All right. Here's how we play Germany or Florida. All bizarre evil emanates from either Germany or Florida. All novelty evil. So they tell us the story. The story and we say Germany or Florida.

20:00 Drew Got it. Okay, here goes the game. I went and visited David today at the Life with Bonnie set. Pretty, I mean, impressive goings on. That's it, we have to operate.

20:16 Adam Spent a lot of money. Brian?

20:19 Caller Yes.

20:19 Adam All right, go ahead. It's time to play Germany or Florida.

20:22 Caller Okay, first off, I just want to say, Drew, you're brilliant. You're a brilliant man. And I wanted to say, Adam, you're a genius. You're a god-dawg.

20:35 Adam Thank you. Let me tell you, quite honestly, Brian, the downside to being a genius. I'm easily bored, you understand? Okay, so here we go. Here we go.

20:49 Caller Neighbors were startled late Friday by loud strange noises coming from a nearby property. The couple proceeded to call the authorities. Upon arrival, a man was seen fleeing from a nearby barn. The authorities chased the man, later finding him unconscious, hung on barbed wire with only his T-shirt present. The rest of the man's body remained unclothed. Apparently, the suspect had rendered himself unconscious by hitting the fence post while fleeing. Upon further inspection of the barn, the suspect's pants were found laying next to a mutilated hog-tied pig. Germany or Florida?

21:32 Adam This is tough.

21:33 Caller Germany.

21:34 Drew The pork is Germany.

21:35 The barn is Florida.

21:36 Drew The barbed wire is Florida.

21:39 Adam The barbed wire feels Florida.

21:41 Drew Germany.

21:41 Adam Yeah, but they gotta have barbed wire. You know, Nazis love that barbed wire. We're saying Germany over here. Yeah, I may be going with the band on the Germany.

21:48 Drew Germany?

21:49 Adam Yeah, we're going Germany here, Brian.

21:52 Caller Everybody's going Germany.

21:54 Adam Yeah.

21:55 Caller Everybody is.

21:56 Drew Well, I'm a little, I'm ambivalent, but I'm gonna go get Adam now.

22:00 Adam What is it, bro?

22:00 Drew Adam is never wrong, so I'm going with him.

22:02 Adam No, I was wrong the last time we did it, though. You wanna go Florida? Hold on, hold on. God, love this button.

22:09 Hoobastank Germany.

22:10 Adam I gotta get one of these buttons for everybody, especially around the holidays with the Corolla family.

22:16 Drew Flormany.

22:18 Adam You're going- Florida. Florida. We're all going Germany. Go ahead, Brian.

22:24 Caller Okay, the answer is Adam Corolla was the man fleeing from the authorities. And it is Florida.

22:34 Adam It's Florida. It's Florida.

22:35 Caller All right, but no, I had a question for Hoobastank too. How did you come about getting your name?

22:42 Hoobastank Germany.

22:44 Caller It's actually a, it's a gas station in Germany.

22:46 Hoobastank For reals.

22:47 Adam Really?

22:48 Caller Yeah.

22:49 Adam It's just when you guys were-

22:50 Hoobastank My brother lives in Munich.

22:52 Adam Really?

22:53 Caller Yeah. And it's the gas station down the street from, he works at the BMW dealership there.

22:58 Hoobastank He's the head of motorcycle design for BMW.

23:00 Adam Oh, that's right. We talked about this. I wanted to give him oral sex. I forgot about that.

23:06 Hoobastank I tried to get him to hook me up with a bike, but he didn't do it.

23:09 Adam Yeah.

23:09 Caller But he did accept the oral sex.

23:11 Hoobastank Right.

23:12 Adam It's disappointing when you know people that are interested or work in a field that you're interested in and you try to get something out of it. It's always a little like, they find out they can do you. I can get you an 8% discount on that after, but then that's retail. And it's always a little like, listen, you're no good. I thought you could float me something. It's always bad, but that's cool.

23:37 Hoobastank Yeah, I was really hoping that we could work something out, but obviously not.

23:41 Adam You know what the cool, another good gas place is, the gasatorium. Oh no, no, no, gasateria.

23:49 Drew Gasserteria, yeah.

23:50 Adam No, it's just gasateria. You pass it, if you go to New York, if you go to New York and you're going from JFK into Manhattan, you will pass the gasateria. And there's just something that sounds great about it.

24:03 Drew It's over on the right. It's on the right.

24:04 Adam As you're heading into the city, it's a yellow, like blue sign. It's just as you're starting.

24:08 Drew There's a hospital on the other side.

24:10 Adam Right, as you're going through like Queens or something, just where Archie Bunker used to live and you're just starting to start to head into the city, you see the gasser.

24:21 Hoobastank Gasserteria.

24:22 Adam Yeah, it's no Hoobastank, but it'll do. It'll do in a pinch. Any port in a storm. All right, Hoobastank here tonight. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

24:31 Drew Hello, this is your radio.

24:54 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Dan and Doug here tonight from Hoobastank. The Reason, name of the CD, it is out as we speak.

25:03 Hoobastank Clapity clap.

25:03 Adam We'll hear something else off it in the next hour.

25:07 Hoobastank Hopefully it'll be off it this time.

25:09 Adam Right, guys heading out with a POD in Lincoln Park in January, and that's gotta be good times. Is that a world tour or just the United States?

25:19 Hoobastank Yeah, North American.

25:21 Adam And that's good. Well, I'll tell you, if you wanna find out about the tour or anything with Hoobastank, you just go to www.hoobastank.com. You can find out about tour dates and all that stuff. All right, let's go back the phones and we'll speak to Monette. Shouldn't Monette be Monet or something?

25:43 Drew E-T-T-E, Monet. Monet will be without the T-E.

25:49 Adam Without the extra T-N-E. It just sounds like you're mispronouncing. You sound like an ugly American. Hey, Monet.

25:58 Drew Love those Monet paintings.

25:59 Adam You're a very unique, unique girl.

26:02 Caller I try to think so.

26:03 Adam All right, go ahead, baby doll.

26:06 Caller Okay, my parents, well, my dad cheated on my mom, like, in 2000, and then they barely got divorced on June 30th of this year. They tried to work it out, didn't work.

26:18 Adam All right, do you really need to know your parents' divorced date?

26:22 Caller Well, it was, you know, I don't, but it was, you know, something big because they were together for 30 years.

26:32 Adam It is, but hold on a second. I got to just go on a quick jag here. I don't like the people that give exact dates. It always bothers me. Always bothers me. They go, uh, I landed in Vietnam, June 27th, 1969.

26:47 Drew Well, I did two tours.

26:48 Adam I left in on December 21st, 1971. I lost my first wife to cancer. That would have been August 9th, the year 1979.

26:59 Drew Let's look at it. Why does it bother you?

27:01 Adam It's blowhardy.

27:02 Drew It's meaningful to me. Therefore, it has to be meaningful to you. It's so important to me. You've got to take it on.

27:09 Adam It's blowhardy. It's a blowhard guy move. Chicks don't normally do it. I like someone who goes, you know, my wife died a couple years back.

27:17 Caller Doug knows the dates of everything.

27:19 Adam But does he announce them when he's talking?

27:21 Caller Yes.

27:23 Hoobastank Uh-oh. He's talking about like tour dates. Like I can tell you something about almost every show we'd ever played.

27:29 Adam You're smart. You don't smoke weed. That much weed.

27:33 Hoobastank Never, actually ever.

27:34 Adam Never smoked weed.

27:35 Hoobastank Not even a cigarette.

27:37 Adam See, there you go. Your brain is pristine. It's pink. Where as a day it's all murky and filled with I only smoked weed once.

27:44 Hoobastank Actually, he doesn't smoke either.

27:46 Adam My brain looks like the inside of a bowl, a bong bowl. You can actually scrape for instance.

27:50 Drew Don't these guys look more alive than many of our bands?

27:54 Adam Yes.

27:54 Hoobastank Yes.

27:55 Drew Okay, but here's our band guests.

27:57 Adam Here's the point. Here's the point, Reyncon. You know it, but you don't announce it. I don't like the guy who announces it.

28:02 Drew Right. It's an intrusion. I don't need to know that.

28:05 Adam Yeah, feels weird. Feels weird, but not Monette. Monette's fine. Go ahead, Monette.

28:10 Caller Okay, so now I'm having a lot of trouble. Like I'll date guys and it'll go good for a little while. And then I just don't know what happens. I don't really know if I'm pushing them away or if I just, I don't know.

28:23 Drew I think a good nice assumption is that you are. Well, yeah, it's uncomfortable.

28:28 Adam Parents got divorced when you were 17.

28:30 Drew That's a couple of years ago, though. She's still getting over it.

28:33 Adam It's three years ago.

28:34 Caller Well, see, they didn't get divorced three years ago. They tried to work it out for two years. They barely got divorced this year.

28:42 Drew June 30th, 1970.

28:43 Adam I thought it was 2000. It was 2003 they got divorced?

28:47 Caller Yeah, it was this year. My dad, that's when he cheated on my mom was-

28:51 Drew Was 2000.

28:54 Adam Listen, let me just see if I can liberate a lot of you ladies. Whatever your dad did to your mom does not mean all men will do to you. Unfortunately, you're now gonna find a guy who does this. But I mean, people always do that where they go, well, you can understand why I don't do this because I saw that. No, it doesn't have to be that way.

29:12 Drew No, it doesn't.

29:17 Caller I'm seeing this guy now and it's been a month and a half and we have sex and stuff, but I cannot get off and he can and he's worked on me and like I'll get really, really close.

29:29 Adam I like your working.

29:29 Drew I kind of like my dad. He works on me. Yeah, like an artist project.

29:35 Adam Impacted wisdom tooth or something. We gotta get that, gotta get to it.

29:39 Caller Well, he does.

29:43 Adam And yeah, but the more, the harder it works.

29:44 Hoobastank That seems like a pretty normal thing, actually.

29:46 Drew Well, yeah, 20 year old, that's a common thing, but she sounds like someone who was orgasmic before, right?

29:52 Caller And now it's like we have sex and I just, I'll get close, but I can't come and I'm really into him. I mean, it's not that I don't like him or that the sex is bad.

30:01 Adam All right, wait a minute. Do you have the decency to fake it after a certain point?

30:07 Caller Well, you know, I don't think.

30:09 Drew No, that'd be a bad move because then he'd keep.

30:11 Adam But I just wanna know, usually, Chick will fake it if you work on him long enough. Don't you fake, you fake it just to move on, right?

30:21 Caller I've never faked it.

30:22 Adam You've never faked it before?

30:23 Drew No, we always discourage that because then they get that cycle of fake.

30:26 Adam I wish some people would do it for me.

30:27 Drew I know.

30:28 Adam All right, so you've never faked it. All right, now you just say this isn't your boyfriend though.

30:33 Caller Well, he's not my boyfriend, but we've been like seeing each other and he's the only person I've been with like in the.

30:39 Drew Yeah, but you're not really open yourself to this relationship in a way that.

30:41 Adam I know, but this guy ain't into it really.

30:43 Caller Really?

30:44 Drew He's worked on her.

30:45 Caller I don't know, like we can have sex for a while and it.

30:50 Drew What do you mean he's worked on you? What has he tried?

30:52 Caller Well, like foreplay, you know what I'm saying?

30:55 Drew What does that mean?

30:57 Adam It's a lot of finger blasting, a lot of oral. It's all. Yeah, but listen, this guy ain't your boyfriend.

31:06 Caller No, well, I guess not.

31:09 Drew Why not?

31:10 Caller I don't know.

31:13 Adam See, I'm wondering if.

31:14 Hoobastank So if you went out and ended hooked up with some other girl, you wouldn't care?

31:21 Drew So you got to sort of declare a major in this relationship, I think.

31:25 Adam I think what's holding Monette back is, one is she's all given herself reasons about the divorce and stuff. Everyone's parents get divorced. She's 17, she's so depressed. I think she gets the feeling like this guy ain't that into her, only he's into her sexually. But if she ever sat down with him and said, look, are we boyfriend and girlfriend or not? And if we're not, I need to know so we can move on. I think she might hear an answer she didn't wanna hear. See what I'm saying? Most of the time when women are having regular sex with a guy who's not their boyfriend, they wish the guy was their boyfriend, but they sort of know what the answer is.

32:01 Drew Or there's someone who's been in a marriage for a long time, just got a divorce and is not interested in a relationship.

32:05 Adam But that's not Monette.

32:06 Drew That's not a 20 year old.

32:07 Adam And this guy needs to be your boyfriend so you can have an orgasm.

32:10 Drew There you go. Jay from Thousand Oaks?

32:15 Adam What's happening?

32:16 Caller Yes, Adam Carolla, Dr. Drew, long time listener, thank you guys, rule. Doug and Dan, you're my old camp counselors at YMCA.

32:24 Hoobastank Jay, what's your last name?

32:26 Caller Hanson.

32:27 Caller Jay, are you the motocross rider?

32:29 Caller Yeah. Oh, you remember that?

32:33 Caller You're really little, right?

32:36 Adam You guys were counselors?

32:40 Hoobastank Yep.

32:42 Adam What do you do? How do you do that?

32:44 Hoobastank How do you counsel?

32:44 Adam Yeah.

32:45 Hoobastank Well, I ran like the kindergarten program in the mornings.

32:48 Caller No, I was in like sixth grade.

32:50 Hoobastank Well, let me finish, man. Like during the school year, I did the kindergarten stuff and then during the summer, I did the teen camp stuff. So, I mean, whatever, man.

32:59 Adam Was it a gig? Did you get paid?

33:01 Hoobastank Yeah, yeah, it was a job.

33:02 Caller Nice, you both worked there for like six years. We did that. We got some. We got our record deal and we quit.

33:07 Adam Yeah, sure. Screw the kids.

33:09 Caller No, but we go back all the time and visit.

33:10 Hoobastank It's awesome.

33:12 Adam It's all about the kids. That's what I.

33:13 That's cool.

33:15 Caller Yeah, I got to work right now. I just saw your CD from when you guys had the Hoover sign and you got you did set up whatever the Hoover vacuum. That was way cool.

33:26 Hoobastank The memories.

33:27 Caller Yes, the memory.

33:28 Adam So did they ever, you know, approach you sexually, Jay?

33:32 Caller No.

33:36 Caller There are some hot little girls back then.

33:38 Drew Oh, my God.

33:41 Adam Keep them away from your girl.

33:43 Caller In the little in the Ford Ranger with the carpet on the bed, trying to pivot with the hose.

33:48 Hoobastank Oh, he does know you, Dan.

33:50 Adam Ford Ranger. It's a nice ride for a kid. I remember you guys. You guys. Oh, you guys were like age 12 through 18 or something. Or what were you?

34:00 Hoobastank You think? How do you think I am? Twenty four. Twenty nine next month.

34:05 Adam Really? See what happens.

34:07 Hoobastank You see what happens. You don't smoke.

34:10 Adam It's hard to. I don't know. It's hard to tell. We assume everyone that comes in here is like 15, 16.

34:16 Drew Guys, Jett last time, like they're 38. I think they were 14.

34:19 Hoobastank I think they are.

34:21 Adam You know, you guys from Jett are like Australian alcoholics who look like they just got drunk and fell asleep in the desert. And they're like, it's not easy to be haggard at 22. But they managed. Jett managed. And they was good. They pulled it off. Yeah. Where's where's you guys still have your girlish youth? I mean, you guys, you know, young. So there's Jay, another success story, by the way.

34:49 Drew How's that?

34:50 Adam I don't know. It seemed like a good way to end the call. Well, they didn't molest the kid.

34:55 Drew That's right. That's a success.

34:56 Hoobastank That's a success in its own right.

34:58 Adam Dan remembered him specifically.

35:00 Drew Yes.

35:01 Adam See what happens when you don't smoke weed.

35:02 Caller Oh, I got a great memory.

35:04 Adam That's what happens. Seriously, we kid about it. But if Dan was smoking weed all through high school, he'd have no idea who this kid was.

35:11 Drew Look, there was a study came out last couple weeks ago about alcohol shrinking your brain, too. Now, very limited exposure.

35:17 Hoobastank There's another thing that we don't take in too much.

35:19 Drew A four ounces a day will do it. More than four ounces a day.

35:23 Adam Four ounces of just pure grain alcohol.

35:29 Hoobastank It'll make you lose your memory?

35:30 Drew It shrinks your brain.

35:32 Adam What's wrong with a more compact brain? You're trying to shrink that gut of yours.

35:36 I don't know what's wrong with that.

35:40 Adam A little treadmill for the brain.

35:42 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

35:43 Adam Shed those unwanted inches.

35:45 Drew The humor becomes increasingly bizarre and infantile.

35:49 Adam Some of my head sounds like a paint can when you shake it up. Drew, seriously, four ounces?

35:56 Drew Yeah, they were pretty steady, too.

35:58 Adam That's on-

35:59 Caller Explains Marcou.

36:00 Adam Those are kids, right?

36:02 Drew Adults? Mm-hmm.

36:03 Adam Ah, Christ. I thought wine, how many ounces? You mean like of wine? No, they're talking about like, they're talking about everything.

36:10 Drew It was like, I gotta pull a steady out again, but it was basically like a glass of beer, more than a glass of beer, more than a glass of wine, you're gonna have something.

36:18 Hoobastank How long does this take?

36:19 Drew 700 years. A few months. No, no, no, it's pretty rapid.

36:22 Hoobastank Really?

36:23 Drew Yeah. We've known that forever. I mean, that's why all these studies about alcohol being great for your cardiovascular system have always been sort of, I've looked at them with a very, that jaundiced view because they don't be- Yeah, they're not saying that you're healthier if you drink more alcohol. They're saying your cardiovascular system may be slightly protected, but in this study, I actually showed more strokes.

36:40 Hoobastank It's less brain to provide oxygen for.

36:44 Adam You are right.

36:44 Drew We've always known that. Sorry. Sorry. You better stick with the ecstasy like you used to do.

36:50 Adam Yeah, you're really harsh in my mouth, you know?

36:52 Caller Whatever. Where's my bourbon?

36:54 Drew Well, the cigarettes are good for you.

36:56 Adam Cigarettes good?

36:57 Drew Yeah. All right. And I've seen you've escalated that from one a day to a pack and a half a day.

37:01 Adam Who, me?

37:01 Drew Yeah.

37:02 Adam Please. Ask me how many cigarettes I've smoked today.

37:06 Drew How many cigarettes will you have smoked by the time you go to bed tonight?

37:08 Adam Well, I don't know, but I- I've smoked less than a half a cigarette today.

37:14 Drew It's starting at 12 midnight last night.

37:16 Adam Well, I do smoke a couple of cigarettes when I get home, but that's when I shrink my brain.

37:21 Hoobastank You can't sleep without shrinking the brain a little bit.

37:23 Adam Let me say this about me. And as you know, Drew, I don't like to talk myself up, but my brain is so powerful that it's difficult for me to live amongst you mortals as is. You understand how frustrating life is for me, having to deal with regular people, riding behind them on freeways, expecting them to do their jobs at my house, at my homes, my multiple homes, expecting them, you see, I don't need my brain.

37:44 Drew You need to shrink, you need to get rid of a little bit of it.

37:47 Adam I got to step myself down so I can, it's like-

37:48 Hoobastank Just to level the playing field?

37:50 Drew Yeah, so we can function, we can survive.

37:52 Adam Like if you're going to camp with a bunch of retards, you better whack yourself on the head with a frying pan so you can enjoy yourself.

37:56 Drew Or expect to have a bad time.

37:58 Adam Or expect to have a bad time. My brain is still too big. I'm going to go home and really shrink it tonight. Yeah, all right, Hoobastank in the studio tonight. Take a quick break. We'll be right back. Loveline. Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Hoobastank in here tonight. Dan Doug representing the band. The reason, name of the CD, and we're gonna hear something off the actual CD in the 11 o'clock hour. And Michelle Branch is coming in here tomorrow night, who I don't think we've had on this show.

38:46 Drew No, never mind her.

38:47 Adam No? Oh, Drew means business. He's pulling the mic toward his face.

38:51 Drew I'm actually gonna talk.

38:52 Adam It's good radio, Drew. Great radio. All right. I think I saw Michelle Branch on Monday Night Football, though, they did this whole competition. Did you see that?

39:02 Hoobastank What is that? When did Monday Night Football become American Idol?

39:06 Adam Somebody decided at a certain point that Monday Night Football needed a whole bunch of extra elements to it. And I know how the suits works, like we're gonna track the ladies by providing something, but all you do is piss off the guys.

39:21 Hoobastank That's exactly right.

39:22 Adam This is, by the way, whenever somebody says, well, look, we're gonna take a car, it's gonna be a sports car, it's gonna be a minivan, it's gonna be an SUV, it's gonna be a two-seater, it's gonna be, all you get is a piece of ass. Right.

39:35 Drew You get a gremlin.

39:36 Adam Yeah, all the best of whatever were dedicated. You know, like the all-in-one tool, it's just crappy at 30 different things. Always better to be dedicated to something. One purpose, and they're spreading it out, Monday Night Football, but anyway, they're having, they have players in music competitions. And they pair them up with a big name. In that case, I think it was Doug Flutie playing with Michelle Branch. Or it wasn't Doug Flutie, it was another, it was a different.

40:05 Hoobastank No, it was Doug, no, he was playing with somebody else.

40:07 Adam He was playing with Bear Naked Ladies.

40:09 Hoobastank Right, right, and.

40:10 Adam And Michelle Branch was playing with a rookie DB from the Falcons and I can't remember his name and they're both playing the drums, yeah.

40:19 Drew And these were guys that previously played and they gave him a chance to sort of.

40:22 Adam Yeah, yeah, they could do something, yeah. You know, if you really think about it as a NFL athlete, you got six, seven months a year to sort of spend your money and do your thing, you know. Let's put a drum set in the living room and go to town. All right, that's why they're all into hunting, by the way. That's why jocks are into hunting. It's not really that they're into hunting, it's like, hey, I got to kill nine months every year. What am I going to do?

40:46 Hoobastank I'll kill for nine months.

40:47 Adam I got to literally kill nine months. That's like, yeah. And here's how you know you've arrived when you're hunting on your own land. You know what I mean? You become like, you're like the king at this point. Medieval times. Yeah, yeah, just like the noo-ge. What happened to the noo-ge, Drew?

41:04 Drew I don't know what that was.

41:05 Adam Ted Nugent.

41:06 Caller Ted Nugent.

41:07 Drew He was hunting on his own land?

41:08 Caller He's still out there. He's still out there hunting.

41:10 Hoobastank I think in a loin cloth.

41:12 Drew Oh, my God.

41:13 Adam Yeah. Yes. He's great. He's great. He's a treasure.

41:18 Caller He had some reality show for a little while.

41:20 Drew Yeah.

41:20 Adam I don't know what happened to that. He's such an exquisite.

41:24 Drew Your friend, Adam, out of the show. I'm with Ted. You tried to add him?

41:27 Adam Oh, yeah. Adam De La Pena, right? Who did I'm with Busey. I think Ted Nugent is just such an exquisite blowhard that eventually bothered everyone to the point where we decided we didn't want to hear him anymore. And he's also one of these guys who just has a whole bunch of these canned isms that he spits out every day. And you get the feeling like he just comes preloaded with about five of them and spits them all out. They have to do about what Ted's got to do and Ted hunting. I'd like to give him a good ass kick in the face. Tell you the truth. Let's snap that bean pole in half like Kinley. Mackenzie? You're, then he'd shoot me in the back with a crossbow. You're 17, Mackenzie. What's up?

42:07 Caller Um, I have endometriosis and I take birth control for it. And now they've discovered that I have gallstones. And I was wondering whether or not I should have my gallbladder taken out.

42:21 Adam Yes, definitely.

42:22 Drew Did you lose a bunch of weight recently?

42:24 Caller Well, I am now because I'm not eating because I get so nauseated.

42:27 Drew From the gallbladder disease.

42:28 Caller Yeah.

42:29 Drew Well, obviously it's got to go, right? I'm sure somebody's told you that.

42:32 Caller Well, my mom's kind of against it because it would be my third surgery on my stomach.

42:39 Adam What happened?

42:40 Caller Well, the first time I had a ruptured ovarian cyst.

42:43 Adam Were you molested?

42:45 Caller No? No, not at all. It just ruptured. I used to have really heavy periods. Mm-hmm. And then I have, so I lost half an ovary. And then my second-

42:57 Adam How many ovaries you got, Drew?

42:58 Drew Two. Two? Well, that's an operation you probably didn't need. So go ahead.

43:02 Adam So you got one and a half now?

43:03 Caller That's my OBGYN. That's right. And my second one was an exploratory laparoscopy because I was at school for three weeks in pain.

43:12 Drew And that was where they found the endometriosis and they cleaned that up.

43:15 Caller So now I'm on Loveline and I don't take the inactive week.

43:19 Drew Yeah, well, neither of those surgeries were anywhere near as essential as this Galbettia surgery. Galbettia can become gangrenous and can be a huge, huge mess.

43:27 Adam Really?

43:28 Drew Oh, yeah.

43:29 Adam Hold on a second.

43:30 Drew Let's- It comes up with Mackenzie, I don't think we'll get to the bottom of it.

43:32 Adam Whenever we get that endometriosis, there's always a problem.

43:35 Drew Not always, but when it's endometriosis and, and, and, and it's not working right, and I've tried this, and this chaos, and, and I'm manipulating my care, then there's something going on.

43:44 Adam Mackenzie? Are you, are you, no problems other than this? No emotional problems? All right.

43:52 Drew They get, it's done laparoscopically, that, you know, you're home the next same day. You did it as an outpatient, even.

43:57 Adam Right. So what do they do? Do they remove your gallbladder?

43:59 Drew Yeah.

43:59 Adam How big is your gallbladder?

44:02 Drew Egg.

44:03 Adam Egg?

44:03 Drew Yeah.

44:04 Adam What kind of egg? Ostrich?

44:05 Drew No, no.

44:06 Adam Quail?

44:07 Drew Quail. No chicken.

44:07 Adam Eggs vary, Drew.

44:08 Drew Chicken eggs.

44:08 Adam Is this dinosaur eggs?

44:10 Drew Eggs I eat for breakfast, yeah.

44:11 Adam You eat someone's gallbladder?

44:14 Drew If I had an access. That's what I heard. Germany or Florida.

44:19 Adam Too much information. Let me talk to Hugo. Hugo?

44:24 Are you? Again, you're talking about your brain shrinking and stuff like that, how you drink away to shrink your brain.

44:30 Adam I have to drink to shrink my brain, otherwise I would go insane.

44:34 Well, that's the thing. Like, instead of trying to shrink your brain to level up to like, you know, downgrade you guys.

44:42 Adam Society.

44:42 Caller Why not try to do something like good, you know? Like try to find a cure for cancer and stuff like that.

44:48 Adam It's an interesting thought. Well, A, I'm in love with booze. So I really, you know, it's almost a, well, where am I here in my own brain? Is that me?

44:59 Caller Yeah.

44:59 Adam Right. Yes, I could cure cancer, but I don't want to play God. That's my whole thing. I don't want to be accused of playing God.

45:07 Drew But isn't the point that you couldn't cure cancer because you're such a genius that you are sort of cluttered with everything raining down upon you from our culture?

45:16 Adam Right.

45:17 Drew And all the nuisances of all the other humans make it impossible for you to go on to do things like curing cancer.

45:23 Adam Yes.

45:24 Hoobastank It's like your brain is getting jammed, you know?

45:26 Adam It's a huge funnel. It's a huge...

45:29 Drew It's like that giant satellite dish out in the desert, throwing in sounds from all over the universe.

45:33 Adam Right. And what I need to do is to short it out by taking a leak on it. You understand? So that I don't... so I can only get Spice and like ESPN Classic. Yeah. Yeah. Those are the only two ones I want, you see, but I can't handle all the oxygens.

45:51 Drew You can't have all the wave...

45:58 Adam You're bumming my dish. All right. See that, Drew?

46:02 Drew I knew that.

46:03 Adam That's how it works. All right. Hoobastank in here tonight. We'll hear something off the new CD when we come back, and then we'll talk to, oh, many of you, many of you after this. All right, guys.

46:15 Caller Here's the deal. Looking to hook up?

46:17 Hoobastank Call the Dateline.

46:17 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

46:19 Hoobastank Call the Dateline.

46:20 Caller One call is all you need to make.

46:22 Hoobastank Call the Dateline.

46:22 Caller 1-877-889. Date.

46:27 You know what I'm saying, Adam?

46:29 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

46:56 I'm Adam.

46:56 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LLV-E-191. Tomorrow night, Michelle Branch in here, Hoobastank in here tonight, Dan and Doug, both here eating their candy.

47:09 Caller Yeah.

47:11 Adam You eat and you're chomping on them.

47:13 Caller I can't suck on these things, dude.

47:14 Adam You can't?

47:16 Caller I've just been like that since I was a little kid. Is there something?

47:18 Drew Same way. Same way.

47:19 Caller Not really?

47:21 Drew Well, you know what's interesting? The people divide their experience of eating into different kinds of experiences. Some people like the chewing and the tearing and the biting, and some people like the sort of the taste and the, so you're the chewing and biting guy.

47:32 Caller Well, for me, when I'm sucking on something, I don't feel like I'm eating.

47:35 Drew Right.

47:36 Caller So I like to suck on it for a second and then just start chewing.

47:38 Drew Yeah, they like the chewing experience.

47:39 Hoobastank I used to like to chew like that until I had a root canal.

47:42 Caller Well, I had a root canal.

47:43 Hoobastank And then I'm like, forget it.

47:45 Caller I had two of them, but they fixed my teeth, so I'm back in business.

47:48 Drew That's good.

47:48 Hoobastank I'm back in business.

47:49 Adam What about the people that chew ice?

47:51 Drew Yeah, that's me.

47:52 Adam That bothers me.

47:54 Hoobastank The little soft rabbit turd ice ones are good, though.

47:56 Adam Yeah, yeah, those are fine. Those are fine, like the sort of slushy ones.

48:00 Hoobastank Right, right.

48:01 Adam I like the move on the slushy when you actually capsize the cup and you start banging on it, and then the avalanche of ice hits you in the face and blows the cap off and starts to straw up your nose. That's a smooth move, by the way, if you're out in public.

48:13 Drew And no matter what, no matter how many times it's happened to you, you do it again. You do it again.

48:17 Adam Yeah, because you think this time I'm poised. I'm in my stance.

48:19 Drew I'm expectant.

48:20 Adam Yeah, always slides down your chest. Oh, we got a question for the band. Jeanette?

48:25 Hello?

48:26 Adam What's up?

48:27 Hey, what's up?

48:29 Adam Yeah.

48:30 Hello? Here we go. Actually, first I want to know if you guys remember me from Jimmy Kimmel. I was wearing that yellow sweater in the front and going crazy and stuff. Uh-oh, uh-oh.

48:41 Hoobastank Are you Asian?

48:42 Yes, I am.

48:43 Hoobastank I remember you.

48:44 Adam See, they don't smoke pot. They know everybody in every crowd.

48:48 Hoobastank I remember you.

48:49 I remember you.

48:49 Hoobastank I remember you.

48:52 Absolutely crazy for you guys.

48:53 Hoobastank Thanks for going to that, by the way.

48:55 Yeah, no problem. It was really fun, actually.

48:57 Hoobastank It was.

48:57 All right, so, okay, my question is, I have your new album and it's really, really cool. I think it's really better than probably your first album, but I'm not sure, maybe not. Anyways, I want to know how it was to work with Howard Benson and things since he produced POD and all and how you guys felt it came out on your album and if you guys liked it like that or whatever.

49:20 Hoobastank Working with Howard Benson was a totally different experience than working with Jim Wirt who did our first record. Howard Benson, Jim Wirt really concentrated on individual parts, you know, the guitar part, the bass part, and he engineered it as well, so he was there pushing the buttons and everything. Whereas Howard Benson really concentrated, at least he said, part of his selling point when we met with him was he was all about the lyrics and the vocals and he did concentrate a lot on the lyrics and the vocals. And then the song as a whole, not so much individual parts, you know, like he'd work with me on the vocals and the lyrics and then he'd hear the whole song and go, you know what, it needs to be, you know, there's something missing here, you know, rather than going, Marku, you need to play a different note, you know, in this part.

50:02 Adam What approach did you like better?

50:05 Hoobastank I don't know, I don't know. I'm much happier with this record, not that I wasn't happy with the first one, but, you know, you're a little wiser this time around and you get to do what you want to do on this CD. So I'm happier song for song with this record than the last one. But I don't think either way was like, I prefer either style, you know, it's just two different ways to get something done.

50:26 Adam Then if you had to do, or when you do a third album, which way are you gonna do, or do you hope it's just a third way?

50:34 Hoobastank I'm hoping it's just a third way, like a whole new way, you know?

50:37 Adam Hey, Jeanette? All right, baby doll.

50:42 Hoobastank Thanks, Jeanette.

50:46 Adam Sounds like there's some sort of product that just took a wine stain out of your carpet. Thank you, Hoobastank.

50:52 Drew Yeah, thank you, Calgon.

50:54 Adam Guy spilled grape juice on his cold shirt.

50:57 Hoobastank And they got this face.

50:57 Adam Thank you, Hoobastank.

51:01 Drew Yeah. These guys sign their name, too. Legible.

51:04 Adam Legible, yeah.

51:06 Drew Not hieroglyphic.

51:07 Hoobastank They should take some more drugs or something.

51:09 Adam Yeah.

51:09 Hoobastank We can change that up right away.

51:10 Adam Yeah, Drew, Drew, and that Drew sign, you sign your name, it's nothing, right? It's a mark.

51:14 Drew You're like Zora. When I actually, yeah. Yeah, you're like for prescriptions and things.

51:18 Adam But like Fago, but Zora.

51:19 Drew Yeah, it's Zora. Yeah, yeah.

51:20 Adam Right, like the mark of Fago. Go ahead.

51:23 Caller I was thinking about just starting the X, just making an X.

51:25 Drew I don't sign for the public, though, because I'm afraid someone's gonna forge my signature and make a prescription. That's why I don't do that. This is my, this is my prescription signature.

51:36 Adam That's your prescription one that just looks like a monkey got hold of a pen and a file.

51:41 Caller Looks like our drummers.

51:42 Adam Yeah, that doesn't mean anything, but how's the Dr. Drew do, like, if I buy a book from you?

51:47 Drew Looks like you're very different.

51:50 Adam I know, I've seen you sign a thousand times. Sally? You're 16? Mm-hmm. What's up? Alrighty.

52:01 Caller Okay, bye.

52:03 Adam Hello. Two times in a row with this, by the way. Yeah? Yeah. Brian, start prepping these callers. I guess they're talking when we put them on. What's happening?

52:13 Caller Well, I'm 16. Mm-hmm. And I have a 29-year-old boyfriend.

52:18 Whoa!

52:20 Drew Bad times.

52:21 Yeah.

52:22 Caller And well, like when we met each other, we didn't realize like there was a big age difference because he looks a lot younger than he is and I look a lot older than I am.

52:31 Caller He must be hot.

52:32 Adam Yeah, you wear a lot of eyeshadow and he has a really crappy job and still lives at home. That doesn't mean you should be mistaken for each other's ages, you know?

52:41 Caller No, he doesn't live at home.

52:46 Adam He does live at home, yes?

52:48 Caller No, he has his own house.

52:50 Drew She thought he was living at home but his parents were always gone. This guy, listen, these guys, please, he knew you were not 21.

52:57 Caller No, no, okay.

52:58 Drew Come on, Sally, it'll be ridiculous.

53:01 Caller He doesn't live with his parents. He lives by himself and whenever I went over to his house, I just thought that his parents were gone.

53:07 Hoobastank You didn't know it was his house?

53:09 Adam Yeah.

53:09 Caller What?

53:11 Adam Hold on, yeah. What about the pyramid of bud cans that were in the living room and the bookshelf that was made out of cinder block and knotty pine that wasn't a giveaway? You never know.

53:24 Hoobastank What's the question here?

53:25 Caller What is the question? Okay, well, he's very forceful.

53:30 Drew He's a criminal, Sally. He's dating a 16-year-old. He's 29. He's a a-hole.

53:34 Adam Rape is his business. That's what he does.

53:36 Caller And he refuses to wear like a condom when we have sex.

53:43 Drew Raleigh over here.

53:44 Adam I cannot believe it. This is so out of character for him.

53:47 Caller He said he's allergic to latex and he's like, he always pulls out.

53:51 Caller I've used that one in my day.

53:52 Adam He's allergic to the truth is what he's allergic to. That's where you guys clap. All right, Sally.

54:02 Hoobastank Come on.

54:03 Adam A couple of things. What does this guy do for a living? Oh, unless that's a metaphor for a very sturdy business. I don't like this guy.

54:19 Hoobastank Come on, open your eyes.

54:21 Adam Yeah. And here's the thing. Let me say this too. You know, a lot of these, a lot of this is, well, I didn't know how old she was when I met her. Okay. Well, first off, you didn't ask. Right. And which means you don't want to know.

54:32 Caller Exactly.

54:33 Adam Because if you think about it, when you do meet somebody who you know is about your age, the first thing out of your mouth when you meet someone is like, where do you go to school? How old are you?

54:42 Caller What are you doing now? When did you graduate?

54:46 Hoobastank 28.

54:46 Drew You can't tell what a 16 year old is?

54:48 Hoobastank Of course I can.

54:49 Drew Of course you can.

54:49 Caller Sometimes you can't tell though, you know?

54:51 Hoobastank Yeah. No, but you know.

54:54 Caller Right.

54:54 Drew You know they're not 21.

54:55 Caller He knew, he just didn't ask purposely because he didn't.

54:58 Hoobastank Of course, because he doesn't want to.

54:59 Caller He wanted to play dumb.

55:00 Adam That's right. They're bleeders, that's how I know. But here's the thing, Drew. Yeah, you don't want to know so you don't ask. Here's the other thing too. They go out on four dates and then they find out.

55:11 Drew And then they keep going.

55:11 Adam And then they keep rolling. It's like, well, we've been dating for 18 months and we didn't find out to the third date that I was 11 and he was in his 40s.

55:19 Caller Yeah, but you kept going, didn't you?

55:22 Drew Well, and then this guy heats it up with, I just won't wear a condom with this girl either.

55:27 Adam All right, I don't like this guy. We gotta get him out of there. Sally. First off, your name is Sally. You gotta know that anyone named Sally's under 18, right? Now what's going on with your horrible family that you would get hooked up with a guy like this?

55:45 Drew Your horrible family, yes.

55:46 Adam Something has gone awry.

55:49 Caller Oh, I don't get along with my family.

55:50 Adam There you go.

55:52 Drew Really?

55:52 Adam What's the problem?

55:53 Caller Oh, I don't know. I just, I can't stand them. I've tried running away before, but they called the cops.

55:59 Drew Right. Why did you sort of react in amazement when we brought up your horrible family? Did I hear a smoke detector in the distance? Way in the distance?

56:06 Adam Where are you, Sally?

56:07 Caller Where am I?

56:08 Adam Yes.

56:09 I'm in my room.

56:11 Adam In your room? In your at home?

56:14 Caller In my house.

56:16 Drew In the hall and maybe the next bedroom down, is there a smoke detector? Chirping?

56:22 Caller Chirping.

56:22 Adam No, Drew, you're not going to get this out. Listen, Sally, do you live at home with your parents? You do? All right, I'm here. Do they know you're going out with a 29-year-old mason? Oh, no. And I know this would anger them and that's part of the thrill of it, but here's the old deal, Sally. And I'll just be real fast. You're angry at your parents. I'm sure you're very angry at your dad. You found a guy who is essentially an abuser and a criminal. You don't know it because you think you're 16 and you're old. You'll realize when, yeah, I treat you great.

56:57 Drew Yeah, Sally, when you're 21, you'll look at somebody, a 21 year old, they're a six year old with horror. 29 year old, you'll call the police.

57:05 Adam Can you stop acting out for just a second, get your grades up and go off to college somewhere and then sort of have the ultimate revenge on your parents for being successful and never talking to them?

57:19 Caller I get good grades, I go to like a Catholic, I'm a Catholic school girl, I get good grades, I'm like a good, I'm a good student.

57:25 Drew All right, we'll focus on that and stay out of trouble.

57:27 Adam Then you're smart, so you break it off with this guy, all right, he's a criminal.

57:32 Drew Okay.

57:32 Adam All right, that's just that luck. Okay, just go do whatever you want. Get AIDS, have them kill you, fine, enjoy, enjoy. Don't bother us with your nonsense then. You're all geniuses, you go do what you want, you're all geniuses. Yeah, good luck, screw balls. I hate our college. Pains in the ass.

57:52 Drew Rachel.

57:52 Adam Listen, what are you gonna do, by the way, when you're pissed off at the world, you hate your dad, you have a set of cans on you, you have your sexuality, you're 16, and you know that there's guys that are gonna entertain you. There just are. And you know, they're criminals, but it makes you feel old.

58:09 Drew Powerful.

58:09 Adam Hanging out and powerful. That you have these guys coming after you. And you have so much neuroses that you're never gonna cut through it and you think you know everything. And what are you gonna do other than have it run its course? You know what I mean? A certain amount of these women are gonna be killed by these guys, and a certain amount are gonna get pregnant, and a certain amount are gonna get off unscathed.

58:28 Drew Really, the awful thing is that these are treatable situations, and if people just take advantage of some help, some modicum of mental health services, these things can be turned around.

58:37 Adam Yeah.

58:38 Drew It's fantastic.

58:39 Adam Yeah, listen, we're not so interested in that in this country.

58:42 Drew Free society, yeah, do whatever you want.

58:44 Adam Yeah, we're not so interested in these sort of sciences that don't have any, that still, I mean, you get to feel like, like I saw Bush interviewed tonight. I don't have any problem with Bush. He seems like a decent guy and everything, but you don't think he knows much about therapy or psychotherapy or that process, do you?

59:03 Drew I think he may be a recovering person.

59:05 Adam Yeah, but that's where he's just giving himself up to a higher power kind of thing.

59:08 Drew Yeah, he's not a sophisticated recovery, but I think he appreciates those sorts of things. He just doesn't know anything about them.

59:14 Adam Well, let me pose this question then, or it's actually more of a statement, but every president gets up there and starts talking about religion and their religion and going to church and always, always convening with their clergy and all this kind of nonsense.

59:30 Drew He doesn't talk about that.

59:31 Adam He weaves God into a lot of stuff, God willing and God bless and all that kind of nonsense.

59:36 Drew He's old fashioned sort of scriptural sort of references and things.

59:41 Adam He's a quasi-Dullard. I don't think he's a buffoon. I don't think he's an idiot, but he's not that, put it this way, if you're hanging out with him and he wasn't the president, you'd be like, hey, George, shut your pie hole and let me turn up the stereo. Like if you drove across country with George Bush and George Bush sold aluminum siding, you'd throw him out of the car after about 30 miles. You would, you would, decent guy, decent guy, just not a genius, not a stupid guy.

1:00:10 Caller Here's my point.

1:00:11 Drew Not intellectual, but-

1:00:12 Adam Definitely not. I don't think you're gonna exchange interesting ideas with him.

1:00:16 Caller I just don't.

1:00:17 Drew Yeah, but there's a certain amount of wisdom the guy has.

1:00:19 Adam I don't know, listen, I'd vote for him over whoever else we have to choose from, which is not saying that much, but fine. I don't have a problem with Bush. All I'm saying is, is every president just talks in terms of religion and they all pretend to go to church and they'll have this BS relationship with Jesus and all this stuff. I've never heard one talk about therapy, psychology or anything that would even remotely come into that realm.

1:00:46 Drew It's true.

1:00:46 Hoobastank You think we'll ever get an atheist president?

1:00:48 Adam It'd be nice.

1:00:50 Drew Corolla for president is what we're saying here.

1:00:52 Adam Yeah, I just mean a guy who says, look, let's talk about what motivates people. Let's talk about what we know about what motivates people. And then let's talk about how to stop it. We got a situation with a lot of young black kids committing violent crimes. Let's approach that from a way that we think can stop it. We got problems with unwed mothers. We got a problem with drug addiction. We got a problem with this. We got a problem with that. Whatever our problem is, let's apply what we know about it in a sort of scientific way and see if we can stem it. Just like when we're having trouble with salmon spawning because we built too many dams, then we build some tributary thing that goes around. We study it for a little bit, then we fix it. We don't prey on it.

1:01:34 Drew Jesus.

1:01:35 Adam Dear Lord, hope those salmon can get to their final spawning point.

1:01:38 Drew Same thing about war on terror too. Same thing, they study and they've done it.

1:01:42 Adam Right, that's what we do with everything.

1:01:44 Yep.

1:01:44 Adam Just look, let's just figure out what makes sense and if you got a problem with teen pregnancies or you have a problem with a certain population dropping out of school or a problem with abandoning fathers and whatever the rep and prison population, whatever going on, drug abuse, whatever it is, focus on it and take care of it. Forget the stigma, forget the societal mores and all that kind of stuff. It's just what it is.

1:02:09 What works.

1:02:09 Adam What works, that's it, that's it. And don't go prey on it. I don't want that. Just want you to take care of it. And why that would be incredible taboo to our country. Why the guy who says, I'm an atheist, but it's all right. I got a whole bunch of really sharp guys behind me. They study the human condition. We're gonna approach it from that standpoint. Why is that such an incredible taboo?

1:02:36 Caller How did that get you to post that often?

1:02:38 Adam Would you vote for me?

1:02:39 Hoobastank You already got my vote.

1:02:40 Adam All right, that's two votes. Drew?

1:02:43 Drew No, I wouldn't vote for you. Dan?

1:02:45 Adam Okay, that's three. That's enough. Is that enough?

1:02:47 Drew Yeah, you're in.

1:02:48 Adam Rachel?

1:02:49 Caller Yes.

1:02:50 Caller What's up?

1:02:53 Caller First thing I wanna say, Hoobastank, you're awesome. My fiance and I saw you in Tulsa, like, less than a week ago.

1:02:59 Caller Oh, wow.

1:03:00 Caller Thank you.

1:03:01 Hoobastank Thank you very much.

1:03:03 Caller Anyways, whenever my boyfriend and I make out, I guess the only thing that gets me off is the actual sex and him fingering me.

1:03:20 Drew Back to those bare analogies. Right. Do you have multiple orgasms? Yes.

1:03:25 Caller Yeah, but whenever he goes down on me, it feels good, but I don't come.

1:03:30 Drew Right, that is this version of the female. There's a version of the female that has multiple orgasms during intercourse, no response to oral sex.

1:03:40 Caller Well, I was just wondering because he has a small tongue, I don't know if that had anything to do with it.

1:03:44 Drew No, it's just you, it's how you put together.

1:03:46 Adam What's it look like, a parrot?

1:03:47 Hoobastank Does the size of the tongue ever matter?

1:03:49 Drew I've never heard about that.

1:03:50 Adam Never, no. Just other stuff I get complaints about. All right, listen, genius, you're fine. You have all the orgasms and all the sex. What are you using for birth control? The pill.

1:04:03 Drew Which one?

1:04:05 Caller Orthotricyclin.

1:04:05 Drew All right, good times. Fantastic.

1:04:08 Adam Now, why are you guys gonna get married so young?

1:04:11 Caller We're waiting like three more years.

1:04:13 Caller We just already got engaged.

1:04:14 Drew Finished school.

1:04:16 Caller And he's in school and I'm working and he's working too. I work in the hospital. I clean surgical instruments.

1:04:25 Adam Ooh, what do you get there? What do you get that, what's that centrifuge thing? It's not that, what's that thing called the-

1:04:31 Drew Autoclave.

1:04:32 Adam Autoclave, yeah.

1:04:33 Drew This is not-

1:04:34 Adam I like that autoclave. Yeah, it's nice.

1:04:36 Hoobastank It's much better than the manual one.

1:04:38 Adam Yeah, it's true. Remember the old three on the tree, claves? All right, Rachel, don't get pregnant. And have fun sterilizing stuff. She says she sterilizes stuff?

1:04:52 Drew I don't think we did any sterilizing anymore.

1:04:53 It's all throw-

1:04:54 Adam You just throw it away. Here's my move. I do this one. I do the armpit drag.

1:04:58 Caller Yeah.

1:04:58 Adam I mean, like you want that back, pow.

1:05:00 Drew Or the scalpels on the tongue.

1:05:02 Caller Oh, what?

1:05:04 Drew Oh yeah.

1:05:04 Caller You do the lick.

1:05:05 Drew Lick the scalpels.

1:05:06 Adam Lick and drag.

1:05:06 Hoobastank Lick and the spoon type thing.

1:05:08 Adam We'll hear a little something from Hoobastank, actually. Wait a minute. I have the next song we're gonna hear. It's called, ooh, it's off the same name as the album. You cute up there, Chris? Yep. It's called The Reason.

1:09:11 Hoobastank Tear, tear.

1:09:12 Adam That's a good song.

1:09:13 Hoobastank Thanks, man.

1:09:14 Adam That's really good. I've heard that before.

1:09:17 Drew Oh, thank you.

1:09:17 Adam That's very good. You know, most songs, you don't like them that much when you hear them.

1:09:22 Drew This is very good.

1:09:23 Adam No, but you have to hear them.

1:09:24 Hoobastank Dr. Drew, you like that one, too?

1:09:26 Caller You're in the bathroom the whole time.

1:09:31 Drew Your music.

1:09:32 Adam Or whatever you, what are you doing there, Drew?

1:09:33 Drew Peeing.

1:09:34 Adam Peeing? Yeah. No, it's good. Like, normally you hear a song, like, yeah, you hear about five times before you start getting into it. No, that was kind of, I was into it the first time.

1:09:44 Caller That's a one-timer.

1:09:45 Adam I'm actually kind of burnt out on it. I need a break.

1:09:49 Hoobastank That's how good it is. You heard it once, you're burnt out on it.

1:09:52 Adam Don't talk, don't talk anymore. Wait, I have, I need a Hoobastank break. We're gonna take one and we'll be right back with Melanie, who's a 15, 19-year-old boyfriend. Says she can't get pregnant unless she orgasms.

1:10:05 Drew Nice approach.

1:10:05 Adam Good angle. We'll be back.

1:10:10 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:10:12 Hoobastank 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:10:27 Caller Hey, hey, it's Loveline.

1:10:29 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Drew, my throat's getting sore, so I'm not gonna talk so much.

1:10:38 Drew I still heard you to talk.

1:10:39 Adam Oh, really?

1:10:41 Drew And I know it's gonna hurt you to have the collars talk, but let's give it a shot.

1:10:45 Adam Hoobastank is here. Let me tell you my problem, I'm a mouth breather. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, it's the noise I make. You should eat with me, it's great. And I try to talk too, while I'm eating. Like I said, it's a taper eating. Yeah, it's more rooting than it is eating. But the thing is, when I get the sore throat with the mouth breathing, I look out.

1:11:11 Drew So you're just talking about this operation, have you talked publicly about that?

1:11:14 Caller No, please don't mention it. No, I'm kidding. That's true.

1:11:19 Drew Did his personality change afterwards?

1:11:21 Adam Well, Drew, talk about it, please.

1:11:24 Drew No, tell the story.

1:11:24 Adam I'm not talking.

1:11:25 Drew Tell your story, sore throat. You fell off a mini bike.

1:11:28 Caller Yeah, I bought like a little mini bike. We all bought these little mini bikes throughout on the road and I got clotheslined by a rope at night time. I have really poor eyes to begin with and Doug encouraged me to go out and ride at night with him.

1:11:38 Drew It's his fault, yeah.

1:11:40 Hoobastank He was wearing glasses on.

1:11:41 Caller I did put my glasses on, but they're glasses from 1994.

1:11:44 Drew You've aged so much since then, I can understand.

1:11:47 Caller And anyway, so yeah, I got knocked off the bike and I wasn't wearing a helmet, which was mistake number one.

1:11:53 Drew That's about number three there.

1:11:56 Caller I was sober.

1:11:57 Drew Listening to your buddy.

1:11:58 Hoobastank Right. Hey, I didn't run into the rope.

1:12:02 Caller And whatever, so I got rushed to the hospital. There was a blood clot right near my brain, skull fracture or something. And I don't really remember too much. He was the guy that, Doug was the guy that okayed the doctor to do the surgery. I was just in too much pain.

1:12:14 Drew The same guy that put you out there on the bike.

1:12:15 Hoobastank I didn't know that that was part of the singing responsibilities, that you have the power to okay head surgery. Where were you?

1:12:22 Caller I was in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. It was like the fifth show that we had done in seven months. It was like we were right back at touring.

1:12:29 Drew It's a serious operation.

1:12:31 Hoobastank The doctor said that the actual procedure wasn't that serious.

1:12:34 Drew Well, the procedure is simple. It's just drilling a hole in his head.

1:12:37 Hoobastank He said it's like only an hour and a half.

1:12:39 Drew Anytime you open the skull, people's personality change. They feel funny for a while.

1:12:43 Caller Oh yeah, I was in the hospital for about four or five days. He was gay before and now he's high. My penis is bigger too now.

1:12:53 Drew I didn't want to talk about that.

1:12:54 Caller But yeah, so I was in the hospital for a while. Then I was at home for about a month just on Vicodin. I can drive, couldn't really do anything. But that's what we were talking about in the other room when I was talking about the catheter.

1:13:04 Drew You had the catheter in for that one time.

1:13:06 Caller No, I only had it for a couple of days.

1:13:07 Adam Why do they, how do they drill a hole in your head?

1:13:10 Drew With a, it's a special drill and it releases as soon as it gets through the skull.

1:13:15 Adam How does it know?

1:13:16 Drew It's a special surgical device. Really? Special. So if they, a lot of brain surgery is barbaric.

1:13:23 Caller If they just drill the, I mean, if they drill the hole in my head, then why do they cut me from here to up here?

1:13:27 Drew They gotta flap. Open it up.

1:13:30 Adam Oh, they gotta get flapped to get a shot at the skull?

1:13:32 Drew Hopefully they put the hole right up here.

1:13:33 Caller Yeah, there was, when I woke up, there was a tube sticking out of my head.

1:13:36 Caller Yeah, it's a ventriculostomy, it's called, yeah.

1:13:39 Adam Why up there? Why up top?

1:13:41 Drew That's just the, that's the, it's the less important brain, basically. He wanted you to get up there before.

1:13:46 Adam Yeah, well mine's shrinking, so you won't hit anything. I mean, you could take a whole paddle bit and just drop it in there, you'd never get to the brain.

1:13:52 Drew Also, that's where they put the drains in to get the stuff out. They just drop it in the ventricle, ventricles.

1:13:56 Hoobastank So here's, I was gonna show you, Dr. Drew, there it is.

1:14:00 Drew This is his surgical wound.

1:14:01 Hoobastank That was in the recovery.

1:14:03 Drew Yeah, that's the ventriculostomy.

1:14:04 Adam No, no, I can't see that.

1:14:05 Drew Yeah, that, this stuff's coming out of his brain.

1:14:07 Caller Show them the catheter one, Doug.

1:14:08 Drew I got a picture of I've seen a catheter one.

1:14:11 Adam Dan's brain with the-

1:14:12 Hoobastank So there's no catheter ones.

1:14:13 Adam All right. I'm gonna vomit. I got this sore throat, though, so, you know, we all-

1:14:19 Drew You're axed to grow, axed to be.

1:14:21 Adam Sure. Melanie?

1:14:23 Caller Yeah.

1:14:24 Adam You're 15?

1:14:25 Caller Yeah.

1:14:26 Adam What's up?

1:14:28 Caller My boyfriend told me that I can only get pregnant when we're having sex if I have an orgasm.

1:14:33 Adam True.

1:14:34 Drew Nothing could be further from the truth. Just him putting his penis in your vagina can make you pregnant. Nothing more than that. That's all it takes.

1:14:44 Caller Okay?

1:14:45 Drew Wear a condom.

1:14:48 Caller Actually, the original reason why I was calling is because one of you was complaining about people chewing ice. And someone told me that the reason they do that is because they're sexually unsatisfied.

1:15:00 Drew It doesn't mean anything. That's something that has been tossed around for a hundred years. It doesn't mean a damn thing.

1:15:06 Adam Maybe 200. Although I don't know if they had ice available a couple hundred years ago.

1:15:10 Drew It does mean a certain amount of unresolved aggression. It is against somebody that has some oral issues, but that doesn't mean a damn thing.

1:15:17 Adam Hey, Melanie. Stop listening to everyone around you. Did you do that, please? What was that? And your boyfriend's 19.

1:15:27 Drew What's up with that?

1:15:28 Adam It makes him a criminal.

1:15:30 Drew What's up?

1:15:31 Adam Yeah.

1:15:31 Hoobastank I know.

1:15:32 Adam What's up?

1:15:32 Hoobastank I like dirty men.

1:15:35 Adam What are you doing, know it all? Yeah, you're in high school?

1:15:40 Caller Yeah.

1:15:41 Adam And what grade are you in?

1:15:43 Caller I'm in ninth. I'm supposed to be in tenth, but I'm in ninth.

1:15:48 Adam Shocking.

1:15:48 Caller Is he still in high school?

1:15:50 Caller No, he dropped out.

1:15:54 Adam What's the plan, stoner?

1:15:57 Caller How did you know? No, actually, I kind of took a year off of school to be a stoner. I stopped that.

1:16:07 Adam Let me explain something, Melanie.

1:16:08 Caller Uh-huh.

1:16:10 Adam I have a superhuman shrinking brain that enabled me to do all the things you're doing and still literally be a millionaire. I don't see your future as being that bright. I think you're someone who's gonna have to focus. You're gonna have to study. You're gonna have to not get pregnant. You have to not hang out with criminals. You're gonna have to take a little less casual approach to your life.

1:16:35 Drew The reason people don't get the whole idea that they, mostly their brain, is the instrument. That's the product. That's what they're developing to be able to go on in life with to succeed. That's it. Whatever much you pack in there and the volubility you build, that's it. That's your instrument. That's it.

1:16:56 Adam Well, part of being stupid is not caring if you're stupid. You see what I'm saying? That's one of the cornerstones of stupid.

1:17:05 Caller Yeah, but it's hard to blame.

1:17:06 Adam It's like blaming a dog for being stupid.

1:17:08 Drew But part of it is no acknowledgement. I understand they don't perceive this to be pity, but no acknowledgement of a desire to expand.

1:17:16 Adam No.

1:17:16 Drew The instrument.

1:17:17 Adam Again, I make the argument that part of being stupid is maintaining your stupid status by not letting anything into your brain.

1:17:25 Caller Yes? Yeah. All right.

1:17:27 Drew But I'm getting depressed.

1:17:29 Caller I'm depressed too.

1:17:30 Adam Actually, I don't care.

1:17:32 Caller Yeah.

1:17:32 Adam But we'd still like you to be functional.

1:17:34 Caller Uh-huh.

1:17:35 Adam You know, even if you're not gonna thrive, we'd like you to survive.

1:17:41 Caller It's like, actually, it's, I've tried studying when I was stoned and actually found it was easier to focus.

1:17:48 Drew All right. Yeah, well, how about getting treated for your ADD then?

1:17:51 Caller Is that what it is?

1:17:54 Drew All right.

1:17:55 Adam All right, listen. Here, I'm now in the damage control mode, which is don't get pregnant.

1:18:01 Drew Please God, no. Yeah, get on the pill. How about that? Why?

1:18:08 Caller Because, like, I don't know. I just don't want my mom to know because, yeah.

1:18:12 Drew Well, you shouldn't have to know. Go to Planned Parenthood, get on the pill. Pregnancy is, first of all, she's gonna know about that. Secondly, it's infinitely more risky than being on the birth control pill. Pregnancy is a disease state.

1:18:23 Adam Infinitely means a lot.

1:18:25 Drew A lot more dangerous.

1:18:26 Adam Hey, Melanie, why don't you break up with this guy who dropped out of high school and is dating a ninth grader? Okay, as long as you have important valid reasons.

1:18:41 Drew Frustration.

1:18:42 Adam All right, just go ahead, just listen. Here's my two things, don't get pregnant because I don't want to pay for your goddamn kids and don't get drunk and run me over.

1:18:53 Drew Or let your boyfriend do it.

1:18:55 Adam I mean, like I said, I'm just cutting my losses.

1:18:57 Drew Yeah, I hear you.

1:18:58 Adam And forget about it, everyone's not going to Harvard and gonna come up the cure for cancer. Let's just not.

1:19:03 Hoobastank We'll leave that up to you.

1:19:04 Adam Let's, yeah, well, if my brain wasn't shrinking, I would have come up with something probably before the end of the night. But let's just not have you populating the earth with mortards and filling the presence. That's my new thing, it's just damage control. As you know, I'd like to weed and not seed. Yes. They talk about weeding and seeding. I just want to weed. Thin things out just a little bit. We don't have to seed. Amanda?

1:19:30 Yeah.

1:19:31 Adam You're 20?

1:19:32 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:19:33 Adam What's up?

1:19:35 Caller I had a baby five months ago. And the baby's dad had seen delivery and all that kind of stuff. And it seems, I have two things, but it seems like afterwards, he is not interested in me at all, sexually or nothing. I don't know if that's because, a lot of people says it's because he was in the room and he had seen the delivery and everything that's-

1:19:55 Adam Yeah.

1:19:56 Drew Traumatized.

1:19:58 Adam Why do we gotta be there? It's like a grenade went off in the vagina. I don't need that.

1:20:05 Drew Adam wants to be like Fred McMurray.

1:20:07 Adam I wanna be out of state. Forget about being in the room.

1:20:09 Drew No, you wanna be in some viewing area where the babies are brought in and you're out there smoking cigars with other dads you never met.

1:20:15 Adam Listen, not only do I wanna see my wife splayed, I don't wanna see any afterbirth on the kid's head either. I don't want the kid tainted. I want the kid hosed down, wiped down, puttin some jammies, little name tag thing on the wrist. I don't wanna see him tell junior hi.

1:20:31 Caller Well, I had the kid and I'm over it and it's been five months. Well, that was my one problem because, I mean, he's not, he's not even interested in me at all. And I think-

1:20:42 Drew Are you married?

1:20:42 Caller Just because, no.

1:20:44 Caller No, no, no, no.

1:20:50 Drew I see, the children, that's 18 years, but marriage, boy, that's forever.

1:20:54 Caller That's the deal with first, before we even-

1:20:56 Drew Oh, yes, everyone deals with the kids before the marriage. Of course, of course.

1:20:59 Caller Before I had a kid, we were very sexually interested in each other, and so now this is just so much, this is just, it's hard for me because I'm used to that, I wanna have sex all the time.

1:21:11 Caller Did you see how long they've been together?

1:21:13 Drew How long have you been together?

1:21:14 Caller On a regular basis, it's only been twice in five months.

1:21:16 Drew How long have you been with him?

1:21:18 Caller Three years, three years.

1:21:20 Drew And has your body changed?

1:21:22 Caller His mind, no, actually I'm a lot thinner than I was before. I was 125 and I'm about 125, so.

1:21:30 Hoobastank That's a lot thinner, wow.

1:21:33 Adam Hold on a second, let me do the math.

1:21:34 Caller 125, and now she is 125.

1:21:39 Adam Hold on, I got zero.

1:21:41 Drew Zero, she's way too.

1:21:41 Adam I'm minus 125.

1:21:43 Hoobastank How much does the female body change after birth? I mean, does it go back to the way it was before?

1:21:50 Drew The younger women, sometimes it can spring back, but as you get older, less and less so. A lot of change, it depends on the way.

1:21:55 Adam By the way, what never changes is that image of the kid coming out that's burnt in your side.

1:21:59 Drew The exploded vagina. The vagina changes, the breast changes, the body shape changes, the fat tissue changes.

1:22:04 Adam Let's not be there. You know what, and I think we're at the point now where it's starting to turn the corner and go back to the other way.

1:22:11 Drew Finally.

1:22:11 Adam Don't need to be there.

1:22:12 Drew Yeah, but this guy, something's wrong with him. He just, he doesn't like being involved with a mom, basically.

1:22:17 Adam Yeah. Amanda, so why aren't you married to this guy?

1:22:23 Caller I'm not married to him because, you know, he just, he doesn't want to be, he doesn't want to be married to me.

1:22:29 Drew He's not interested in being a father. He's not interested in having a committed relationship.

1:22:32 Adam He's done. He doesn't want to get married to you.

1:22:34 Drew Not getting married is the same thing.

1:22:35 Caller He doesn't want to be in a relationship with me now.

1:22:38 Drew You know, not getting married is the same thing as saying I'm bi. You know what I mean?

1:22:44 Adam What do you mean? Oh, you mean saying, you're sending a message to the person.

1:22:48 Drew Yeah, you're saying when the time comes, it's either way it's bi-bi. Whether I'm bi, it's bi-bi, or not.

1:22:54 Adam What Drew's saying is, is when you announce, I gotta do this in my relationship, when you announce to your partner that you're bi, you're essentially saying at some point in time, I'm gonna move on.

1:23:05 Drew For the same set.

1:23:06 Adam Or stray. Yeah. I got an agenda here. Yeah, I'm moving on. It's like when I announce I'm a rambling man. At certain point, like it or not, I got to ramble. You know, I got to ramble on.

1:23:18 Drew So the same thing you were saying, I'm not interested in marriage.

1:23:21 Adam Yeah, when you crank out a kid with someone you've been with for three years and you make the announcement that you're not interested in marriage. Yeah, that seems a little strange. You're basically saying, I'm a rambling man.

1:23:32 Drew I'm not gonna stick around, there's no way.

1:23:36 Adam And the fact that he stopped having sex with her means he's sort of packing it in.

1:23:40 Drew That's right.

1:23:41 Adam He's getting ready to ramble.

1:23:43 Drew Yes, he is.

1:23:44 Adam You know, he's distancing himself.

1:23:44 Drew He's not into the kid thing. I bet he had a dad that rambled.

1:23:47 Adam Yeah. Oh yeah, daddy rambled. His dad could have been a Rolling Stone, but he quite probably rambled.

1:23:55 Drew Wherever he said his hat was his home.

1:23:56 Adam This was his home. You know when you ramble, break it done. You never ramble about noon. No one ever sings, you know, when I get up and I'm good and ready and I have a cup of coffee and I stretch out and read the paper, then it's rambling time. Rambling time is not 10.45 to 11:15 a.m.

1:24:15 Caller Sun comes up, gotta ramble.

1:24:17 Adam And let me tell you the other thing too, guys don't want to ramble, they have to ramble. They got to move on. You know what I mean? They tell the lady, I wish I could stay, but I'm a rambling man.

1:24:29 Drew You gotta ramble. I'm not into marriage, I'm bisexual, I'm a rambling man.

1:24:32 Adam At what time do you ramble?

1:24:33 Drew About 7.30.

1:24:34 Adam No, no, no, it's 5.30, no, crack it down, crack it down.

1:24:37 Drew Well, I live in Alaska, I live in Alaska. I live in Alaska, so break it down.

1:24:41 Adam Here's what I would suggest. If you have to ramble, sleep at your own place that night. Don't sleep at the pork, you know, you don't get up at 4.45 in the morning, to wake her up as you're getting ready to ramble. The guy's brushing his teeth in preparation for rambling, the lights are on, he's woken her kid up. Sleep home at your apartment that night. It's much easier to ramble from your own pad. You know what I mean? Or move the rambling time back to noon.

1:25:07 Drew Or ramble the night before.

1:25:08 Adam Oh yeah, I'm a rambling guy. I get a jump on the rambling night because I ramble about 8 a.m. 8 a.p.m. When the street lights come on. That's when I ramble.

1:25:19 Drew Doesn't your throat hurt?

1:25:21 Adam Oh yeah, my throat hurts.

1:25:23 Caller Oh, Anderson. Oh, now he's gonna talk excessively.

1:25:24 Adam I'm gonna ramble all over your face. All right, I'm rambling. Drew, you wanna ramble?

1:25:30 Drew Let's ramble.

1:25:31 Adam Hoobastank, ready to ramble?

1:25:32 Drew Let's go.

1:25:32 Hoobastank Let's ramble.

1:25:33 Adam All right, we'll be back. We'll be back. That's right. Hoobastank, everybody. In the hizzies, we like to say. And Michelle Branch in here tomorrow night. I think I'm going to write a song about being a stationary man.

1:26:21 Drew Being a slothful man.

1:26:23 Adam Lord, I was born a slothful man. Watching that Tivo and beating it whenever I can. When you want me to leave the house, I hope you'll understand.

1:26:36 Caller I was born a slothful man.

1:26:37 Caller Where I am.

1:26:39 Adam My father was a stayed home dad. And my mother was on disability. Grandpa strung beads for a living and worked in the garden. And that's just where I want to be. Everyone kicks in. You know what I'm talking about? Just watching Tivo and masturbating. Yeah. I talk about like five in the afternoon. I'm wearing sweatpants with an erection and a house coat.

1:27:08 Drew The video would be great.

1:27:09 Adam It would just be me on the sofa. We'd have to shoot at my house because I don't go out and do stuff.

1:27:14 Drew That's right.

1:27:14 Caller That'd be great. Yeah.

1:27:16 Adam And I'm explaining to my woman, like, I know you want me. First, I know you want to go on vacation over the Christmas holiday. I know you want me to see your folks out in Valencia. I know you got plans. But you got to understand.

1:27:29 Drew I was born this way.

1:27:30 Hoobastank I got to be stationary.

1:27:31 Adam I was born stationary.

1:27:35 Hoobastank That's kind of like you and us. We never want to go out.

1:27:39 Adam There's a baby. You're blocking the set. You know, and I'm just I'm just sitting there and it's it's time to be stationary. And I do it. I do it at 11 a.m. That's when I get up to be stationary.

1:27:49 Caller I roll out of bed.

1:27:50 Adam I sit back down. I drag my. Yeah. That's one of the lines.

1:27:53 Hoobastank Oh, I get up to sit back down.

1:27:55 Adam Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right. Yeah, Lord, I was born a stationary man. Annette.

1:28:02 Yeah.

1:28:04 Adam You're 19.

1:28:05 Caller Yeah.

1:28:06 Adam What's up?

1:28:08 Caller I am having like really bad back problems and it's just been getting worse over the years. I have a problem that my friends think is because I have a huge chest.

1:28:21 Adam See that's one of the things I would get up for as a stationary man, but ultimately I would have to sit back down and I hope you would understand that I was a stationary man.

1:28:34 Drew How tall are you? How much do you weigh?

1:28:39 Caller Can we not say that?

1:28:40 Drew Well, it makes a difference in terms of how you're sort of proportionate. If you weigh 100 pounds, then it makes sense why your back would be able to support most of your body weight. But if you're 200 pounds, then it kind of doesn't make sense. I would be more concerned that the back pain was really from just being generally overweight than from the breast issue.

1:29:02 Caller I'm like 160, but I have muscle and whatnot too, and my legs are dancing.

1:29:08 Adam Sure, and there's bone. You've got to count bone and there's skull. Toe nails, hair. Hair. Yeah, I mean it all adds up.

1:29:15 Caller No, seriously, I've been doing nutritionists and he said that I'm going to have more weight because of my muscle and my bone mass and whatnot because they've calculated all that crap.

1:29:28 Adam So, how big are the cans?

1:29:30 Caller Double D's.

1:29:31 Adam Double D's. And as a stationary man, you'd have to get on top if we did it. That's one of the things I don't hump. It's like doggy style, not my style.

1:29:43 Drew I hope you understand.

1:29:45 Caller I was born a stationary man. It's hard for me to sit up just to see.

1:29:53 Drew What's that in that?

1:29:54 Caller I was just saying you have me blushing beyond belief right now.

1:29:57 Caller Thanks.

1:29:58 Adam Double D.

1:29:58 Drew All right.

1:29:59 Adam And 19 years old.

1:30:01 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:30:02 Drew Where's your back pain? Where's the back pain?

1:30:05 Caller Well, at work, it's because I work at a retail store and I do a lot of like lifting and getting stuff for customers and whatnot.

1:30:13 Drew No, I don't mean where are you when you have the pain. I mean, where in your back is the pain?

1:30:17 Adam But let me also add that's something the stationary man could not do.

1:30:19 Drew Lift to be retailed.

1:30:20 Caller It's in my upper back.

1:30:22 Adam Good work.

1:30:22 Caller Sometimes I have pain in like my lower back and stuff too.

1:30:25 Drew Have you had physical therapy?

1:30:28 Caller No, I haven't. I just like, well, I went to, I don't know, I have Kaiser. They sent me to some doctor supposed to help me with my back pain by giving me exercises and then examining my back and whatnot.

1:30:42 Drew Did you do the exercises?

1:30:44 Caller Yeah. Yeah. And I still do them and everything.

1:30:46 Drew Did that help?

1:30:48 Caller No, it's not. And they're like, well, you know, you need to work on getting your muscles stronger and everything. And the thing that makes me upset is I've been in ballet, I've done all sorts of dance. I had wonderful posture, but it's just like now I'd rather, you know, hunch over a little more because it's more comfortable than just like, I feel like it's such a...

1:31:06 Drew Well, maybe it is. Maybe it is. Maybe it has something to do with the...

1:31:09 Adam So what?

1:31:10 Drew Consult with a cosmetic surgeon.

1:31:12 Caller Is there any stretching you can do for that?

1:31:13 Drew Well, again, it's the strength exercises and physical therapy, but she could even get a trainer to weight training, that sort of thing, try to build the muscles up to compensate for the weight coming forward. But a lot of surgeons would go ahead and operate on something like this if it's really affecting your bandwidth. But with her thing, it's entirely clear this is what it is, though. That's the problem. Not entirely clear. It's the breast.

1:31:35 Adam Yeah.

1:31:36 Caller All right.

1:31:39 Adam A little yoga. I was thinking about yoga today.

1:31:42 Drew Yeah.

1:31:43 Adam Couldn't hurt.

1:31:43 Drew Couldn't hurt. Never.

1:31:45 Adam I'm convinced I would feel much better if I did yoga. I just won't do it.

1:31:50 Drew There's a lot of things you'd feel better if you did, huh?

1:31:52 Caller Yeah.

1:31:52 Adam But I'm a stationary man.

1:31:55 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:31:57 Adam Hey, could you give me that? I'm a stationary man. You know what I mean? I like my woman around. I want her. I want to. She has to understand I'm a stationary man. I may need another woman because who's going to clip my toenails? Who's going to fetch me popcorn from the kitchen? You've got to understand. That's what I do.

1:32:17 Hoobastank Or what you don't do.

1:32:19 Adam What I don't do is what I do. Right. That's part of it. It's heavy, man.

1:32:23 Caller That's poetic. Yeah.

1:32:26 Adam Let's go on on that heavy note. We'll take a little break. We'll be right back.

1:32:30 Hoobastank All right, guys. Bottom line. Here's the deal. Looking to hook up. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

1:32:35 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:32:36 Hoobastank Call the Dateline.

1:32:38 Caller 877-889.

1:32:43 Caller Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:32:45 Hoobastank 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:32:57 Adam Well, there you go. See, Drew, I had that sore throat. I had to hold back on my talk.

1:33:02 Drew Yeah, I know. It was tough, but we made it.

1:33:04 Adam All right. It's been like a year and a half.

1:33:08 Hoobastank We'll see you next time.

1:33:10 Adam All right. The name of the album is The Reason. It is out as we speak. Michelle Branch in here tomorrow night. Until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. How's a Dr. Drew do if I buy a book from you?

1:33:23 Caller Ooh.

1:33:28 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Tuesday, December 16, 2003