Episode 1000584699586

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:02 Voiceover Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, Mark Wilson, and Chris Sester, both here tonight from Jet, who I did not see at the Acoustic Christmas last night, but I did see them on Saturday Night Live the evening before, and who sounded great. And it's... bands don't come across on TV that well very often. I mean, you have to sound good, especially I've seen a lot of bands that I've seen in person sound good and then sound crappy on Saturday Night Live. So, cheers.

1:43 Jet Well, I think SNL is like probably the better one for TV anyway. You know, like you knew Conan and Letterman, but I think the sound quality is always better on SNL.

1:52 They've got more time to do it, because it's only once a week, they're not doing it every night. They've got three days to give you to do a sound check.

1:59 Adam I never really thought about that. I think lay people like ourselves don't really think too much about that. I've been on Conan or Leno or something when you then go home and watch yourself that night and the band that went on after you, which sounded great when you were sitting there, didn't sound all that great on the TV and SNL, they do sound better. So maybe they have a better situation. It's just a preparation, but you got to play.

2:25 Drew Yeah.

2:26 Adam So don't don't give away too much of the credit. Drew is a big fan of the band. Drew saw them.

2:32 Drew Yeah. Last night and sat in that live, too.

2:34 Adam Oh, really?

2:34 Drew And we were already starting to listen. We could they kept showing up. Who is that band?

2:38 Adam We see the iPod commercial or something.

2:41 Drew It just is just showing up.

2:43 Adam Kids getting into it.

2:44 Drew Yeah, they are.

2:46 Adam First kids are getting hip. Yeah. I saw them on a Saturday. It was like they didn't know me then. Hey, old guy. But is it?

2:54 Drew You're not cool. They're 11, 12 years old. They're bursting with excitement, but they got to be like completely.

2:59 Adam They got to be cool. Yeah. They're making the scene. Yeah. So anyway, Jet is now. Now we'll play something off the new CD, Get Born and in just a couple of few. I'm thinking of maybe we should play the song early because we probably have a lot of affiliates out there who know the song, may not put the band together with the song. Then you play the song and then they go, oh, it's those guys. I like those guys. Maybe we should do that.

3:31 Drew About five minutes, 10 minutes or right away? Your call.

3:34 Jet Do it now. Let's do it now.

3:36 Adam Let's do it now. Are you ready there, Chris? Yeah. This is off of Get Born and this is Are You Going to Be My Girl? That's Chet for you. I can't believe there's no other fans named Chet. There were the Jets.

7:25 Jet No, there is. We had to buy them all, Bentleys and houses and mansions and stuff.

7:29 Adam No, there's no other Jets, are there? There were the Jets with the S.

7:35 Jet There's Jets to Brazil.

7:36 Adam Oh, but no just Jet.

7:38 Jet No, right, yes.

7:39 Adam Smart. Smart, now you can sell it.

7:44 Jet What was named after a dorky Paul McCartney track.

7:47 Adam Yeah, Jet. He's singing about his dog. See that, Drew? He probably got laid to that song, right? Yeah, isn't Jet Paul McCartney's dog?

7:57 Yeah, it's his dog.

7:58 Adam Yeah.

7:59 Jesus.

7:59 Adam You didn't know that? Yeah, he got his band after a dog. Yeah, Drew, that song came out.

8:05 Jet I only care about the music, man.

8:07 Adam He's keeping it real.

8:08 Drew 1973.

8:09 Adam Yeah, I don't know when that came out. Yeah, early 70s. You guys weren't born yet. Drew was doing some major league finger blasting in the back of his dad's car, probably in high school.

8:22 Jet What's that? Is that some American thing?

8:25 Drew Mm-hmm.

8:28 Adam Phone's here, right, Drew? Lindsey? You're 19?

8:34 Caller Yes, I am.

8:35 Adam What's up?

8:37 Caller First of all, I was completely surprised that you just called my name. I was sitting here, like, laughing along. But anyway, it's an honor to talk to you guys. And I feel like an idiot because I was sitting here thinking, oh, yeah, those guys, okay, kick ass.

8:54 Adam You talk about Jet?

8:56 Caller Yeah.

8:56 Adam Right, I was smart to play the song, right?

8:58 Caller Yeah, you were, very much so.

9:00 Adam Because before that, you're like, who are these a-holes from Australia? And now you're like, oh, those guys.

9:05 Caller Yeah, exactly.

9:07 Adam See, that's why I do it.

9:09 Jet Maybe you should work for K-Rock.

9:13 Adam I think I do, right? I believe you.

9:14 Drew Well, they never admit it.

9:17 Adam Oh, yeah, Linda, you should work for K-Rock.

9:19 Drew Lindsay, what's up?

9:24 Caller It sounds really stupid, but, okay, I'm worried, like, all the time. And I've always had a problem with this. Like, since I was really little, I mean, I've always had, like, a really high libido. Like, I've always been extremely horny all the time. Like, it's always been on my mind, and I've always, like, even when I was little, I would masturbate, like, all the time. And now it's getting me into trouble. Like, I just got suspended from, like, I go to a private college, and I got suspended from college for crossing boundaries, as they're calling it, with some teachers that work there.

10:04 Drew Teachers? With teachers?

10:06 Caller Yeah, teachers and people that work there.

10:08 Drew What did you do?

10:09 Adam I'm this close to beating off.

10:10 Drew What did you do?

10:12 Adam I know I speak for the band when I say it.

10:13 Jet Where's Australian, man? You know, this is how I... I'm always this close to beating off.

10:18 Drew What did you do, Lindsay?

10:24 Caller Well, sleeping with some teachers, but they didn't really know about that part, but they know about just making really... just acting inappropriately at school and making jokes.

10:41 Adam Give us a good example.

10:42 Drew Give us a prime example of something you did that was inappropriate.

10:46 Adam I bet she put the electric pencil sharpener up or did that move that I do at parties once in a while. Not, you know, with my ass.

10:54 Drew Yeah. Not with the...

11:00 Adam Number two.

11:00 Drew What did you do, Lindsay?

11:04 Adam What did you do?

11:04 Caller Okay. Like, for instance, I was sitting in class one day and I just drew a really, a really lifelike picture of a penis and I was, you know, acting like I was giving it head and doing all sorts of stuff because there was this one teacher named Roger and...

11:29 Adam Hold on, let me talk to the guy.

11:31 Drew She's manic.

11:32 Adam She's manic?

11:32 Drew Yeah.

11:33 Adam So she's nutty. It's starting to smell a little bogus.

11:36 Drew No, no.

11:38 Adam Where's she going? She's going to boarding school or something?

11:42 Drew She got kicked out, 18, you go to college. She got kicked out of her college.

11:45 Adam Oh, but it sounded like she was going somewhere. It was boarding school or something.

11:49 Drew College. You're way at college, they kicked her out. People go way to college. Not everybody goes to community college.

11:55 Adam Hold on. Hold on. Not everyone lives in their garage until their stepmom kicks them out after they get put on academic probation at the junior college.

12:03 Drew And not everybody craps in the popcorn tin that they got for Christmas. Decorative popcorn tin. I beg your pardon.

12:09 Adam Did not have a bathroom, Drew.

12:10 Drew I beg your pardon.

12:11 Adam Lindsay?

12:11 Caller Uh-huh.

12:12 Drew So, Lindsay.

12:13 Adam What college did you get thrown out of?

12:17 Drew I don't see why you're not allowed.

12:19 Adam You're allowed to say anything I ask you to say.

12:21 Caller Stanford Brown College.

12:22 Drew Okay.

12:23 Adam Now I believe you. All right.

12:25 Jet They're talking in imaginary penises.

12:28 Drew Did they ask you to get some treatment or did they send you to mental health services or anything?

12:32 Caller No. No. I got suspended for like a week or so.

12:37 Drew So here we go. Hang on.

12:38 Caller Hold on.

12:39 Drew Hold on. Is there a manic depression in your family, bipolar illness?

12:44 Caller Not in my family, but yeah, I'm diagnosed as being bipolar.

12:47 Drew Okay. You see, that's what I said. And part of that bipolarity is this hypersexuality. Didn't you appeal to the school and say, look, I wasn't taking my medicines, I was getting manic and you know, I will get...

13:00 Caller They don't give a rat.

13:02 Drew Now let's keep going. Were you also sexually abused growing up?

13:05 Caller Yes, I was.

13:08 Drew And, okay, so that makes you hypersexual also and you're also, what, a marijuana addict? Yes.

13:18 Adam I'm glad. Drew almost won three for three there.

13:21 What's that? All that, I mean, even...

13:23 Adam Hold on. Drew, do you...

13:26 Caller She... You can seriously get all...

13:28 even the marijuana part from me being extremely...

13:31 Caller even when I was really young.

13:33 Drew I can get the... your people do not disappoint. Everyone sort of fits a profile.

13:38 Adam Well, they all disappoint, but they're predictable.

13:40 Drew Yeah, they're very predictable. Yeah, they all disappoint. And so... So, Lindsay, for just in a few minutes talking to you, what I got was bipolar manic, marijuana addicted, sexual abuse. Those are the things that...

13:48 Adam All the things I wrote down on the steno pad and slid across the desk, you guys are witness, right?

13:53 Drew Yeah, so...

13:54 Adam All right, look. We got to wrap this up.

13:56 Drew All right, so the deal is that you got some serious mental health issues, medication, 12-step get going here. Nothing else is going to work until you get off the drugs. Their bipolarity is going to be unstable. God knows for how long until you get to dealing with the sobriety. You need some essay also for the compulsivity around being an addict and a sexual abuse survivor. You need to do some work here. You're going to find yourselves in harm's way a lot of the time.

14:17 Adam But good times, good times. Peter.

14:20 Drew Yeah.

14:21 Jet She'll be fine.

14:22 Adam She'll land on her feet. We're resilient over here in the United States. We got that bin Laden, you know. Oh, no, wait a minute.

14:30 Jet No, you didn't. What are you talking about, man? We got the other bearded monster.

14:35 Adam We're getting up a line, we're heating up. We're nipping at his heels. Peter.

14:39 Yeah.

14:41 Drew Peter Northridge.

14:42 Yeah, how are you guys doing?

14:44 Adam Good, what's up?

14:46 Caller Well, human problem. I've been working out since about nine months ago and I've lost over 100 pounds and it's been slowing down a lot lately, but for the last about month, I haven't lost an ounce of weight. I've lost over 100 pounds. I've been really stepping up my exercise, running to like, I couldn't even breathe anymore to the point where I was sweating like crazy.

15:08 Drew How long are you running for?

15:11 Caller 45 minutes, non-stop.

15:13 Drew Every day?

15:14 Caller Yeah, and it's really frustrating.

15:16 Drew Are you managing your diet?

15:17 Caller Yeah, oh yeah, definitely.

15:19 Adam How much do you weigh?

15:20 Caller Well, I weigh 365 and I weigh about 258.

15:25 Drew All right, how much more do you want to lose?

15:27 Caller 180, I want to get to 180, so about 80 more pounds.

15:31 Drew Okay, what are you doing diet-wise?

15:34 Caller I don't eat any carbs. I eat chicken and maybe all meat and some cheese.

15:40 Drew Then now it's about holding your calories in.

15:43 Adam I'm sorry? How big are your parents? Are they big?

15:47 Caller My mom's small and my dad's, he's fat, but he's not big.

15:52 Adam Yeah, but if he's fat, then you got that genetic hand to deal with.

15:56 Drew How tall are you?

15:57 Caller 5'11.

16:00 Adam How does this work, Drew?

16:02 Drew You've got to try containing the calories.

16:04 Adam What do you think of like Atkins for 17-year-olds?

16:07 Drew You know, those, really it's more like the zone, the balance diet, it's more the way to go for somebody like him. And if he can't maintain it, then, and really, not everyone can do it with diet. That's when surgical interventions become appropriate. It may be time for him to get a medical intervention. It sounds like he may have been handed a genetic predisposition for all this.

16:23 Adam Yes, you got dealt that bad hand. Hey, Peter. Yeah. You're 17, though.

16:28 Drew You've got lots of time.

16:29 Adam Yeah, don't worry about it.

16:31 Drew Eight, twelve hundred calories a day. Try that.

16:32 Adam Well, focus.

16:33 Drew Fifteen hundred, maybe.

16:34 Caller I eat less than that right now.

16:37 Drew Really? That gets kind of dangerous at your age.

16:40 Adam Don't go nuts.

16:41 Caller Well, I mean, I'm not going nuts, but it was to the point where I was getting really sick of it because, I mean, I've dedicated almost my whole life to this and it's not working, so it's really frustrating.

16:50 Drew Yeah. Well, some of it is what genetics you've been handed. It's unrealistic sometimes. You go to one that you're in Northrop. Go to maybe what you see in New York City. You go to one of the eating programs, the metabolic programs out there and have an evaluation and see what you can realistically and in a healthy manner expect of yourself.

17:06 Adam And listen, you can still get laid if you get one of those sort of fat guy jobs like Brody. You know what I mean? Yeah. See, there's different gigs for fat guys and you don't want to get caught in a thin gig if you're a fat guy.

17:22 Drew That's when you don't get girls?

17:23 Adam Yeah. You know, if you work at a library at 260, you're never going to get laid.

17:27 Jet Look, hang on. How big is 260? Like, I'm like, we do it in kilos.

17:31 Adam That's four stones.

17:33 Caller Do you have any idea what's going on right now, my God?

17:36 Drew That's about 50 percent bigger than either of us.

17:40 Adam Well, no, no. Chris, you got to...

17:43 Jet I'm about like nothing stone, man.

17:48 Adam How many kilos? Yeah, you're about 150 pounds.

17:52 Drew What's his kid? You're 70 kilograms, right?

17:55 Jet 65? Right, right, right.

17:56 Adam How many kilos per pound? Like two and a half or three?

18:01 Drew This guy is a hundred and something kilos.

18:07 Jet That's nothing because I'm way underweight. And how tall was he anyway? That's about my height, right? And so he's like my height.

18:15 Caller He's your height and he weighs more than me and I'm six foot three.

18:19 Adam Five eleven is seven stick.

18:21 Drew He's got to stop eating cheeseburgers now. He's got 800 calories a day, that's dangerous for developing.

18:29 Adam You know, we should have just got into that metric system in nineteen seventy five when they were pushing it. I'm going to sue you know, my my you know, when I was in grade school, like in the fifth grade, the teachers would and there was a strong push in this country to shift to the metric system, probably mid seventies. Right, Drew?

18:47 Drew By 76 was going to be all done.

18:49 Jet Yeah.

18:49 Adam And it was like the teachers would, my fifth grade teacher would go, there's going to be two types of people in the world five years from now. Those who know the metric system and those who watch pulp fiction and are unemployed. Yeah.

19:03 Jet That's where I learned from it, man. Pulp fiction is how I learned about like, you know, that we had a different one from you cats.

19:08 Caller You didn't know that.

19:09 Adam You didn't know that.

19:10 Caller I knew that you guys. Yeah.

19:12 Jet I didn't know that you had a different system until I saw Pulp Fiction. I mean, you know, we don't have kangaroo. We don't ride kangaroos to school.

19:19 Drew It's the British system we have, but it's one the British got rid of a long time ago.

19:23 Adam Yeah. Let me tell you why the metric system is superior for those who don't. It's quite down over there, Drew. If you're if you're a mechanic and you got a wrench and you're using like a little 316 socket and it's too small, you want to step up to the 730 seconds or something in metrics. Like you use the number you use the five millimeter. If it's too small, you get the six. If the two smalls get six, you get the seven. It's real easy. You just go right on top. All this like 730 seconds. I mean, you look at American drill bit set, you got you want the three sixty fours. You want the seven thirty seconds. I mean, it goes and goes.

20:03 Jet I'll tell you something. I ain't seen many American drill sets.

20:06 Adam Oh, you're going to.

20:07 Jet I mean, you know what?

20:08 Adam I don't think I want to be sure you're going to see my drill index before the night is over.

20:16 Jet I'm going to see your drill. Am I going to feel your drill?

20:19 Adam Yes, I'm going to give you a good augerent. No one calls screw an augerent, but it'd be good. Good augerent.

20:28 Jet That's what it is in Australia. Ruting. Ruting.

20:31 Drew Sex is rooting.

20:31 Jet Ruting. Shagging.

20:33 Drew Shagging.

20:33 Jet Effing.

20:35 Adam Effing.

20:35 Drew Ruting.

20:36 Adam We got effing.

20:37 Jet Of course you got effing. Who hasn't got effing?

20:39 Adam Everyone's got effing.

20:40 Jet You think you're superior because you got effing?

20:44 Caller Kaylee? I have effing in Chad.

20:46 Caller Kaylee?

20:47 Caller Even.

20:49 Caller Kaylee. Yeah.

20:50 Adam What's up?

20:55 Caller My boyfriend, we're both 16 and-

20:58 Jet Dump him. No, I'm kidding.

20:59 Adam I'm joking.

21:01 Drew We're both 16. Yeah.

21:03 Caller And we started having sex about five months ago. And he's like six, maybe seven inches long.

21:18 Drew Why are you having this discussion?

21:20 Caller What?

21:21 Drew What's the problem that you started this discussion about the anatomic matching of your genitalia?

21:26 Adam And by the way, six, seven inches, like 185 millimeters.

21:30 Drew Easy.

21:31 Adam You know what I'm saying?

21:32 Drew 18.5 centimeters.

21:34 Adam No, no. But yeah, that still sounds good. I'm feeling you, Payne. Anything better than six, five and a half, six inches? I'd rather be like 180 millimeters. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

21:43 Drew Kaylee?

21:50 Caller It sucks. Yeah.

21:51 Drew Well, it has nothing to do, I can virtually guarantee you it has nothing to do with the size or the relative size of each of your proportions.

22:00 Adam Yeah. You just sound a little angry, Kaylee. Do you hate your dad?

22:04 Caller Yeah.

22:05 Adam Okay. You're angry. Where's your dad? He's in Texas. And you're calling from Arkansas?

22:13 Caller Yeah.

22:15 Drew You actually feel nothing? In other words, are you disconnected from that part of your body?

22:20 Caller No, I can feel something. It's just like, I don't know. He now says that he's like, I don't know, like bored, I guess. And I'm really bored.

22:35 Adam All right.

22:35 Jet Well, listen, he might have a problem, you know what I mean? Because you're not getting off or something.

22:39 Drew Maybe he feels like he's defensive and blaming you.

22:42 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah.

22:43 Adam How old is he?

22:44 Drew 16.

22:44 Adam He's 16.

22:45 Drew All right.

22:45 Adam You guys break up before somebody gets pregnant.

22:50 Caller Well, that's another weird thing. He's only come once and we've had sex like a bunch.

22:57 Jet Maybe. Does he take a lot of drugs? Is he always?

23:00 Drew Let's talk about this guy, Kaylee. Come on.

23:03 Adam You don't really like him, do you?

23:06 Drew Not really.

23:09 Adam He's gay. What's your dad doing in Texas?

23:13 Caller My parents are divorced.

23:15 Adam Yeah.

23:16 Caller And so he never calls.

23:18 Drew So everyone goes to Texas or Florida as soon as they get divorced. Right.

23:21 Adam Hey, Kaylee. Listen, you're angry. You should be. You hate guys. That's fine. Your dad's an a-hole. But look, don't take it out on other guys. Don't get hooked up with an a-hole and don't get pregnant early.

23:33 Jet And go out with a guy with a big dick, maybe.

23:35 Drew Birth control pills.

23:37 Jet I'm kidding, man. Socasm. It's king in Australia.

23:42 Adam That's all they have.

23:44 Drew That's their entire comedic sort of repertoire.

23:47 Jet Yeah.

23:48 Adam It's funny. In the England, they're smart asses too, which is fine. We're just, I like it better than what we got. We just have just sort of raw aggression.

23:58 Jet Right.

23:59 Adam Yeah. At least there's an ounce of, there's a sort of comedic angle to it. We just have just pure intimidation and anger, just outright anger. We just shoot you. But you know what I like?

24:10 Jet I wasn't going to say anything political, man. That was you.

24:14 Adam I haven't done any traveling, but I did go to England once and I noticed like cab drivers and guys behind the counter at the hotel and stuff, they kind of have a sense of humor.

24:21 Jet Yeah, everyone does.

24:22 Drew They're educated.

24:23 Adam Yeah. We have really stupid people.

24:25 Jet They have Monty Python in the UK, you know? Right. It's like the best comedy ever, but it's not like harsh and it's not swearing and it's not like. Right. You know, it's just funny. It's just clever.

24:36 Adam Yeah. And then I got Benny Hill, too.

24:38 Jet Yeah.

24:39 Adam So I can't even sit down. All right. Let's take a little break. Jet here tonight and we'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Mark and Chris are here tonight from Jet. Jet, Jet. Get Born, name of the CD. We'll hear something else off it in the 11 o'clock hour.

25:14 Drew Oh, what the hell was that?

25:17 Adam What happened?

25:17 Caller It was the tonic that we've been drinking.

25:20 Adam You guys drink a vodka tonic?

25:23 Jet Yeah, man.

25:23 Adam That's a weird drink.

25:24 Jet You want one?

25:26 Adam No, no, I'll fall asleep.

25:27 Drew Now, Chris had an important question to ask me.

25:29 Jet Well, that's right. Yeah, no, I wanted to get in with the doc as well.

25:32 Drew And we kept saying, Chris, on the air, on the air.

25:33 Adam On the air.

25:34 Jet So here we are on the air and this is my question. I had this thing the other day with my girlfriend where I was like, you know.

25:41 Drew Fortunately, she's on her way to Australia.

25:42 Jet Right now, she's on her way to Australia and she's not listening, but hey. Maybe I did. It's the vodka tonic. Look out, you know, don't have one, you're right. But yeah, because like I think like my mum one day said to me that like when when you go through something crazy, like some big event happens in your family, that the kids get stuck in that time forever. So my girlfriend calls her mum and dad, mummy and daddy, and she's like 22. And so I was like, so you're like, obviously, I don't know.

26:15 Drew Yes, it can or can't mean something. At the very least, it means that the parents need to infantilize her a little bit. They need her to keep calling, because an appropriate parent would be to go, hey, honey, I am your mom, you're dad.

26:29 Adam The parents are keeping her an infant.

26:30 Drew Yeah, the parents are keeping her the little.

26:32 Adam Maybe she just wants to borrow money.

26:33 I do that when I want to borrow money.

26:35 Drew You say, are you a grammy?

26:36 Adam I call strangers daddy.

26:39 Drew For money.

26:39 Adam Yeah, for money. I'm turning a trick.

26:42 Jet You're calling me daddy five minutes ago on the break.

26:47 Drew I heard that.

26:49 Adam Well, that's what for is going to give you the auger. And but but but now now here's the question. How does she get along with her daddy? She's really good with him.

26:58 Jet No, I don't think she really does. No, no, no, no, no, really. Like, I mean, you know, I don't think they've really gotten on for a while.

27:04 Adam Yeah, that that can be where she gets. Here's here's what was the dad, not the mom for the man. For the man, it's the mom. For the women, it's the dad.

27:13 Jet Are you serious? Yeah, I don't know.

27:16 Adam Yeah, that's you because you're daddy now.

27:18 Drew You got to listen to the show for a couple hours. You'll see it over and over and over and over.

27:23 Adam OK, so here's what you don't want. You don't want like if you're dating a chick whose dad cheated on her mom repeatedly, that's going to be trouble for you.

27:34 Jet And now they never married. So I don't think it was that kind of vibe at all.

27:37 Adam The mom and dad.

27:38 Jet I don't think that was an issue. Yeah, they never married. Well, they never married.

27:41 Drew What's the abandoning dad that you've got to deal with? She needs you to be not available when you actually become available, when you're not traveling all the world and stuff. She's going to have difficulty being in the relationship.

27:51 Jet Going to have difficulty or feel comfortable?

27:53 Drew Have difficulty because she needs the abandoning guy. She needs a guy who's not available like daddy, always away. That's her sense. Oh no, you're killing me, man.

28:01 Adam What's daddy always away?

28:04 Jet Well, I just think he wasn't available. I think he was always around. You know what, I don't really know, but I'm pretty sure he was always around, but just wasn't really always available.

28:14 Adam I bet, listen, everybody's got some kind of beef with their dad.

28:18 Drew But you once said she had a little therapy, didn't you tell me that?

28:20 Jet Yeah, you know, it's not only that. Look, I could take up the whole program talking about this kind of thing, but I'm not going to.

28:28 Adam Therapy is just, you just drink with an older person.

28:30 Jet Well, that's right. And I'm Australian. But see, the thing is I wasn't asking you a question about my life. That's the thing.

28:37 Adam All right, so listen, first off, I know you kids are going to work out. That's the number one. Number two, you're on the road, so you can't. It's hard to argue when you're on the road. You know what I mean? When you here's the thing about her, believe it or not, when you come back and have all the time in the world for her, that's when she'll start freaking out.

28:54 Drew Yes, that's right.

28:56 Adam But here's the other thing, too. I don't know how long you two have been going out. How long have you been going out?

29:00 Jet A year.

29:01 Adam A year. Here's the other thing, too.

29:03 Jet Yeah.

29:04 Adam If it ain't if it ain't working, don't don't force it.

29:07 Jet If it ain't going to happen. See, the thing is, guys, I wasn't telling you we were having a problem. This was just a question out of my own curiosity about the mommy and daddy, which I sort of thought was weird. That's all. No, we're we're we're. Oh, you're fine. I nearly said something bad then. We're great. We're great. We're doing great. We're getting married. It's the best ever. Look out.

29:26 Adam Good times. Give it six months. It's now time to play Germany or Florida. Now, now you guys are from Australia. You don't know how Germany or Florida is played, but all bizarre, weird, perversity and violence, it all emanates from either Germany or Florida and the Hollywood Hills. It's David Allen Grier doing the Germany and Florida. All right, you go ahead. You say the thing and we'll tell you whether it's Germany or Florida. Go ahead, Brian.

29:59 Caller All right. I would say that I actually got the chance to meet Dr. Drew when he came out to my university in September and got a chance to buy a book and get Drew to sign it. And I was very pleased, but I was honored to meet Drew.

30:11 Drew That's very kind of you. Where were we? What school?

30:15 Caller Truman State.

30:16 Drew Oh, Truman State, yeah.

30:18 Adam Beautiful. Go ahead, Brian.

30:19 Caller All right. A man has been jailed for declaring his parents dead 40 times in order to get charity handouts a court said on Friday while they were alive and well. The 31-year-old prayed upon churches and individuals to part with about $7,300 in total to ease the pain of his mother or father's quote-unquote passing, a court spokesman said. He would ask them for money to get to the funeral, usually as mothers, and then spend it on drugs.

30:42 Drew Can you even describe the guy?

30:46 Adam Yeah, I could see him wearing cut-off sweats, those jab flaps as we used to call them before they became Asian-American flaps, and maybe like a concert teaware's gut hung out just a little bit. So we're going Florida on this one? What do you think?

31:04 Jet And what's Florida?

31:05 Drew Germany or Florida?

31:06 Adam Florida's a state.

31:07 Jet I know what Florida is, but what does it mean in the context of this game?

31:10 Adam It's another bizarre place that horrible stories come out of.

31:13 Caller So Tyler, you've got to choose whether that story's come from Germany or Florida.

31:16 Adam That's right.

31:17 Caller And they're saying Florida.

31:18 Adam Thank you, Mark. What do you think?

31:22 Jet I'll say... Toronto.

31:25 Adam Germany or Florida?

31:29 Jet Germany.

31:30 Adam You going Germany?

31:32 Caller I want to go Florida.

31:33 Adam Florida. I'm going Florida too.

31:35 Jet I want to show this guy what an Australian blow in his nose sounds like.

31:38 Adam All right, Brian, go ahead.

31:41 Caller It was actually Germany, Berlin.

31:50 Adam All Florida. Chris, Nostradamus. Yeah. All right. Well, Touche comes out of Germany. Drew, you got to go with the Florida to our life.

32:05 Drew The Germans don't scam their Floridians. Floridians scam. That's why that was a good one.

32:10 Adam Charles?

32:11 Yes, sir.

32:12 Adam You're 17?

32:13 Caller Yeah.

32:14 Adam What's up?

32:16 Caller It really freaks me out. You know how they say your penis is like blood or whatever? But I can pop mine.

32:23 Adam It's blood?

32:24 Caller Yeah.

32:24 Drew There's blood in your penis.

32:25 Adam Yeah. You're saying there's no-

32:27 Caller You can pop it.

32:28 Adam There's no bone in it.

32:29 Caller Yeah, but you can-

32:31 Jet And that is it, man. You can't pop it.

32:35 Adam You crack it, though, right?

32:37 Drew There is a ligament.

32:38 Caller You can press it down in between your legs and crack it, like when you pop your fingers.

32:42 Adam You can also make some money if you keep it down between there and you meet the right guys.

32:45 Drew Can you give me the anatomy textbook, Chris?

32:47 Adam No, I don't want to see that.

32:48 Drew I'll show these guys.

32:49 Jet I had a guy one day in year eight when I was in high school, and all of a sudden he- Well, I don't know what you call that. It's about 14, all right?

32:57 Adam We'll call it 9th grade.

32:59 Jet But he just- you call it whatever you want, man, but all of a sudden he just goes- we're talking about sex and all that kind of- And he goes, uh, you know what? Last weekend I broke my dick bone. Everyone just broke out in a spontaneous laughter. Like, there ain't no dick bone, buddy.

33:15 Drew Well, you can rupture your penis, though.

33:17 How do you rupture blood?

33:20 Drew It's held in two cavernous bodies. That's what swells up, and they can rip and tear, and you got a big problem with that. But that's not what this guy's talking about. You just have somebody land on it the wrong way.

33:30 Jet So what's this guy talking about, then?

33:31 Drew This guy's talking about popping-

33:32 Caller Like pop it like you can go like crack your knee.

33:36 Jet Oh, sort of like you got like, I know, like you got one of them double-jointed elbows.

33:42 Drew I said tendon, I mean ligament. There's a ligament there that holds it.

33:44 Caller Because that's where the crack is, when you crack your knee or something. That's your ligament.

33:47 Drew That's right. Moving around.

33:48 Adam Is that it? And what's your knuckles?

33:53 Jet It's all about Dr. Mark.

33:55 Drew But that's between the ligaments, basically.

33:57 Adam All right. All right. So the point is, is you can crack your penis. Yes. I like to crack my penis and and usually what I'll do is I'll take my young assistant, tell her to light a cigarette, stay in profile to me and then knock that thing right out of her mouth. Do you see me do that?

34:16 Drew Yeah, yeah, of course. You know, you're the head of the party.

34:19 Adam It's awesome. Then I put her on a spinning wheel and I put balloons around her pop, pop, pop. It's awesome.

34:27 Jet You're not a real doctor, are you, man?

34:29 Adam No, he's not.

34:30 Caller Not you.

34:33 Jet I'm not talking to the real doctor.

34:34 Adam I barely went to junior college. Louis or Louise? No way.

34:47 Caller What is this? Is that someone snoring?

34:53 Adam Yeah, he's he's been on hold for 55 minutes. He's calling from Washington, DC and it's 1.30 in the morning over there. Right?

35:04 Jet Well, that's so early.

35:07 Caller What's his name?

35:09 Adam His name is Louis.

35:10 Jet Hey, listen, listen. I'm talking to him. Hey, Louis.

35:12 Caller Louis.

35:13 Jet Hey, Louis.

35:14 Caller Wake up.

35:15 My questions are going to my picker.

35:19 Adam This is great. I hope he stays here.

35:21 Caller There was someone else.

35:27 Adam Guys are great.

35:28 Caller Has that ever happened before?

35:30 Drew Oh, yeah. When the girls like Paul Sleep, they don't make this kind of noise.

35:32 Jet Listen, buddy, I'm getting so I want to talk to him. Listen, you know what, man? I'm getting sort of depressed about this. Every time I talk to you.

35:40 Drew Is it your father? Is it your father?

35:41 Jet All you do is snore and I don't know if it's working out between us anymore.

35:46 Adam All right.

35:46 Jet Hey.

35:47 Adam I think what we're going to have to do is I think we're going to have to gamble on Louis.

35:52 Caller Gambling on what?

35:53 Adam Well, we'll go back to him like after the commercial.

35:57 Drew Yeah.

35:57 Adam And we'll see. We'll see how long because eventually he's going to be that, you know, they tip over, the phone falls out.

36:04 Caller Yes.

36:04 Drew You're right.

36:04 Adam They get call waiting.

36:06 Drew This sounds like wedged in there, though. This sounds like well securely positioned. This guy's.

36:11 Jet Hey, Doc.

36:12 Drew Farring.

36:13 Jet Doc, do you find anything on dick popping in the book?

36:17 Drew I'm just trying to show you a piece of the picture.

36:19 Adam Oh, can I come look?

36:20 Drew Right here. There's a ligament that attached.

36:29 Adam Jet is here. We're going to take a quick break. Check back in with Lewis.

36:34 Drew All the suspensory ligament of.

36:36 Adam Wait a minute.

36:37 Drew Yes.

36:39 Adam Check back in with Lewis. No greater compliment can be paid to a talk show host than having a guy saw on logs who's been, by the way, listening to the show the whole time. We'll take a quick break. Jets here. And we'll be right back with them and Louis after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Hubert Stank in here tomorrow night, Michelle Branch is in here the night after that, Jet in here tonight, Mark and Chris here. Just hit their stride, but I got to warn you, there's still a lot of show to go, so I don't want you to shoot your wad or peek too soon.

37:37 Caller Now we're going to toilet paper.

37:39 Adam Yeah.

37:40 Jet I thought you were talking to the guy who was snoring.

37:41 Caller Oh, is he still there?

37:43 Adam Oh, let's find out.

37:44 Jet Let's find out. Listen, man, I'm going to break out with you. I'm telling you.

37:52 Caller Listen to him.

37:53 Jet Listen, it's over. Can you hear me?

37:55 Caller He's got the radio. Oh, he probably doesn't have the radio on.

37:58 Adam No, he's probably, I really hate it.

37:59 Drew They listen to the phone on the East Coast because it's delayed a day. So they're listening to the whole thing through the phone.

38:05 Adam Uh-huh.

38:06 Drew So they don't, and then they fall asleep because it's three hours later.

38:09 Jet Yeah, this guy's not asleep. What are you talking about?

38:13 Drew I can tell, Luis, just by the tonal qualities of his snore. Svelte guy. Skinny. Skinny.

38:19 Adam Reed.

38:19 Drew Yeah.

38:21 Adam He's a wicker.

38:21 Jet Now, you know what I think? I'll tell you what I think. I think he's got a chode. Do you know what a chode is, you guys? Let me swap some cultural penis here with you.

38:29 Adam Yeah, give us a chode.

38:30 Jet A chode is a penis that is...

38:32 Adam Like a hockey puck.

38:33 Jet It's like as wide as it is long.

38:35 Adam Oh, really?

38:36 Jet I think he has a chode.

38:38 Adam Really? Because see, we... I was hip to the chode, too, back in the day.

38:45 Caller We never...

38:45 Adam Chode was just like Latin slang for penis. It didn't take...

38:50 Caller Maybe it's just developed. It's a new meaning now.

38:53 Adam It could have. It was like gang... It was like Latino gangbanger for penis, I think.

38:59 Drew Out here, yeah.

38:59 Adam And then it maybe went over the Pacific and turned into chode, hockey puck, penis, and then that turned into chode. Yeah, try to figure out the nomenclature for chode, Drew.

39:12 Caller We probably could have made the meaning up ourselves. Maybe we did. We made up a meaning for the place between your balls and your ass.

39:20 Adam What is that?

39:20 Caller We call that a schief. That's just us four guys call it a schief.

39:25 Jet We call it a schief. That's it. Just Jet. Jet.

39:28 Caller Jet schief.

39:29 Drew How do you spell that?

39:29 Caller I suppose it would be S.

39:31 Jet It's a very special place if you're a boy. Your girl knows where it is.

39:35 Caller I don't know how you'd spell it.

39:36 Drew Schief. Schief. Sometimes you should rig up a sail and put up a seal on it. No, it doesn't.

39:41 Jet I'll show you what it looks like right now.

39:43 Caller What do you really see?

39:44 Drew I've seen my share of schief. Thank you.

39:47 Adam It's good. It's a good name, though, because all we have is taint. And that's not a great. It's not great.

39:53 Caller It's got the same sort of vibe.

39:54 Jet It just doesn't have the originality of schief.

39:56 Caller Yeah, right.

39:57 Drew Taint is a negative. Schief is a positive.

40:00 Jet Right.

40:00 Drew Right.

40:01 Adam Schief is fresh.

40:02 Jet It's new.

40:02 Drew It's all the way from Australia. Not what it is.

40:05 Adam Right. Right. Now, I used to say on the border between Anisburg and Scrotumville, the border right in between those two towns. Schief is a small town. Have you been to Schief? It's picturesque. It's a very small little town. It's on the border. It's unclear whether it's in Anisville or Scrotumburg, but it's right on the border of the two towns.

40:29 Jet And it kind of looks like both of them. It feels even better.

40:33 Adam If you like if you like skiing, if you're at all in outdoor sports, Schief is the town for you. Beautiful, quaint people. They really the tourist dollar goes goes a long way there.

40:45 Jet Have you seen the postcards?

40:46 Adam Yeah. Now, if the wind is blowing from Anisburg, that can be that can be trouble. All right. And it does get a little warm over in Scrotumburg or Scrotumville. Yeah, Scrotumville. It gets a little warm during the summer months, too, I must say. It's very humid area.

41:03 Caller It's a little sticky.

41:04 Adam But it always feels good.

41:05 Drew Yeah, I don't know about that.

41:08 Adam Alicia. Alicia. All right.

41:13 Drew You almost got put on hold.

41:14 Adam How do you spell Alicia?

41:15 Drew With a Y.

41:17 Adam Really?

41:17 Caller All right, Alicia.

41:19 Adam You want the vodka?

41:21 Hi. Hi.

41:24 Okay, my question is, I heard you talking about earlier about how, like, if your father was, like, not around or if he cheated on, like, your mom a lot, it could affect you with that. And I think you're, like, I don't know, but, like, like, every guy I've dated so far has, like, cheated on me.

41:42 Drew Well, that could have anything to do with it. No. No, no, no, no correlation there, but listen.

41:46 Adam There you go.

41:47 Drew Here's the deal. The kind of guy that is a cheater was your dad. That's your idea of somebody you love. That's what you feel connected to in that sort of intimate way. Naturally enough, as you begin your sort of love life with your peers, you're going to, you're going to look for, that's what you want to attach to. That's what you feel comfortable with. That's what you want.

42:06 Adam No.

42:07 Drew And you're going to go after.

42:08 Adam It's not even a conscious thing.

42:09 Drew But, but, but it's, you fit with that kind of person. You see what I'm saying? And that kind of person is, happens to be somebody that thinks to cheat.

42:16 Jet Doc, don't you think, I don't know, man, like there must be equal amount of people who just run so far away from like what they grew up with, who hated, you know, who hated, like who hated how they were dealt with.

42:29 Drew There is a lot of that. And yet strangely, those people still end up with somebody similar.

42:34 Jet You think so?

42:35 Drew That's, that's the way it is.

42:36 Adam Well, here's the thing. That opposite stuff works in other facets of life. I do believe. Like if your parents were real cheap and poor and whatever, you want to be rich, you want to have money. You don't ever want to live this way again. And it does work in many other facets of life, but it doesn't in relationship.

42:53 Jet You think in relationships, it's pretty standardly.

42:55 Adam You end up getting sucked back into it, whether you like it or not. Usually, especially the women with the with the cheating dads or the bad dads.

43:02 Drew Well, if somebody trauma in childhood becomes the source of attraction and puberty. So somebody has been highly traumatized. It's more the extremes where you can make these predictions more regularly, more effectively. So this dad was traumatizing to her. He was abusive and abusive to mom. He was abandoning to her. That's now a trauma that becomes the source of attraction in adulthood.

43:22 Adam No.

43:23 Drew Oh, yeah.

43:24 Adam See what you see. Why Louis fell asleep.

43:26 Drew Big Lou.

43:26 Adam Big Lou.

43:28 Drew Chard. Louis the Chard.

43:32 Adam Now another. Now he's changed his. See, he's changed it up.

43:37 Caller Oh, yes. He's he's he's a tenner, man. He's gone from like a baritone to a tenner.

43:46 Drew Louis, Louis, he's coming too. He's gone through a different stage.

43:49 Adam Really? What's he in now?

43:51 Drew He's lighting up, getting some REM sleep there.

43:53 Adam Oh, really?

43:54 Drew Louis.

43:54 Adam Is that lightening up?

43:55 Drew Yeah. Do you know, start incorporating our voice into his dreams?

43:59 Adam Oh, we will?

44:02 Caller Where are those sounds coming from? They just keep going. Are you doing them, Chris?

44:07 Drew There's another.

44:14 Jet Really freaking me out.

44:15 Drew Any instructions, Adam?

44:17 Adam Well, hold on a second before before we get to Louis, I just want to finish off with Alicia who dropped off the line. But if you're having every one of your boyfriends cheat on you, then be real careful about who you're attracted to.

44:30 Drew That's right.

44:30 Adam And go ahead and take some take a little time out for yourself.

44:33 Drew If you're a trauma survivor and you tend to be attracted to people that re-traumatize you, learn to read your attractions. Don't go out with people that are super interesting to you. Go out a little more boring person.

44:44 Adam Right. All right. Let's get to Louis. He's like he's getting back on his game now.

44:52 Yeah, he's back.

44:53 Drew He's way quick before he goes out of round to give him his message.

44:56 Adam No, no, no. I don't want to jeopardize this.

44:59 Drew Oh, he's gone. He's deep. There you go.

45:01 Adam Oh, he's back in. Doesn't seem like he's breathing a little too quickly.

45:04 Drew Yeah. That's how we know he's not he's not faking it.

45:09 Jet You know what? I think we've done enough with Lewis. Is he going to come back?

45:12 Caller All right.

45:13 Drew You got to keep you.

45:13 Caller I want to know.

45:14 Jet Oh, yeah. I want to see if he's going to be there for the rest of the show. But I'm worried.

45:18 Adam Don't worry, Chris. You're done, though. You know, we'll check back with him, though, right?

45:24 Drew Australians have very creative minds. They don't like repetitive humor.

45:28 Caller I think that's funny.

45:29 Adam Except for the spam bit. Yeah, they love that spam bit of Monty Python.

45:35 Caller Let's say spam, spam, spam, spam.

45:36 Adam We're taking a break.

45:37 Drew Yeah.

45:37 Adam All right. When we come back, there will be a great call.

45:40 Drew No one talk to Brianne. I'm fine.

45:42 Adam Brianne, who was hurts when she stands up after sex.

45:47 Drew There you go.

45:47 Adam I wish I could do that to somebody. I did it to this one dude.

45:53 Drew That was when he sat down, though.

45:54 Adam Oh, that's right. And I know we'll hang with Young Lewis as well. It's just a fountain of information. Jet here. We'll be right back after this. Hey everybody, it's Love Line, I'm Adam. That's Dr. True. Mark and Chris here tonight from Jet, who will be staying in here tomorrow night, and then Michelle Branch in here on...

46:52 Jet Who's Michelle Branch?

46:54 Adam She's this popular pop singer chick who is kind of cute and sounds pretty good. I think she's good. She's not like Britney Spears or someone like that. I think she's got more vibes, you know? Yeah, I think she can actually sing. All right, where were we? Oh yeah, we were checking in with Louis. All right, right on time. Just want to check that.

47:22 Jet You're not from Atlanta, are you, man?

47:24 Adam Who, me? Yeah. No, North Hollywood. Yeah.

47:29 Caller You're one of like three people who are actually from Hollywood who are in Hollywood.

47:33 Adam Yeah, actually, Drew and I are the only guys I know who are from this area who are actually in show business. Everyone else comes from somewhere else. And you really notice it around football season when you're sitting around with ten guys and they're all rooting for a different team other than whatever the whatever the team was in this city. You know what I mean?

47:53 Drew That's why the city can never get a team.

47:55 Adam It is. No, I go to work and there's ten guys and they're Pittsburgh fans and they're Cleveland fans and they're Dallas fans and they're Yankees or Giants fans. There's not one when there's no Dodger fans, no Lakers fans, there's no Rams fans or whoever the team was out here. That's why you can't get a team here. All we got is that and illegal aliens and like crazy Koreans. There's nobody back a team here. You know what I mean?

48:21 Drew Soccer team's okay.

48:23 Adam Eventually, but even that, it's not the hometown. People come here and just root for their team. If you guys moved here, you'd just be rooting for the Melbourne Ass Kissers or whatever the name of the name of the team is. You wouldn't care about whatever local team is here, right?

48:38 Jet I just generally don't care about sport in general. General being the best description I can think of. I don't really think about football much.

48:46 Adam Smart American or Australian rules.

48:49 Jet Australian rules, maybe.

48:51 Caller But I just because we're not there.

48:53 Jet I've been away from it forever. So I don't really.

48:56 Adam And that's basically rugby, isn't it?

48:59 Caller No, it's different.

49:00 Jet Different to rugby, a lot different, a lot different, a lot different to every sport.

49:05 Caller Really. It's like Gaelic football. If you've ever seen that, but no one ever has.

49:10 Adam What's Gaelic football like?

49:11 Caller Oh, it's where you hold.

49:12 Jet It's where you will forget Gaelic football, forget Gaelic football. Australian football is is like it's like a rugby shaped ball. So it's like an oval. And then you sort of like you kick it and handball it around. And like when you look, it's great. But it's just too hard to explain.

49:29 Drew You're trying to kick it through some goalposts.

49:30 Jet Right.

49:31 Drew That's the one where the wild world of sports, the guy has that huge knot in his leg. This is 25 years ago. That falls down with a broken leg. Remember that?

49:39 Adam Yeah.

49:39 Drew That was Australian football.

49:40 Adam Yeah. No, I like that they kick it while they're running.

49:42 Drew Yes.

49:43 Adam I like that.

49:43 Caller And there's no, the game doesn't stop as often as it does in, you know, NFL, you know, I actually get a lot of Australian rules football players to come over in the off season to kick big kickers for.

49:56 Jet Oh, really? Well, yeah, because well, they can kick that thing on the run real straight.

50:00 Adam I thought I thought they were using soccer guys to kick in the NFL. You know what?

50:04 Jet Maybe maybe it's a deadly combo of the two.

50:08 Drew Oh, you just hung up on Brianna. She was the one that was. What about Louie?

50:14 Adam Hey, Louie, what about Louie? Hold on. What about Louie?

50:17 Hold on.

50:24 Adam Okay, let's want to check in with him.

50:27 Drew Brianna.

50:28 Caller Yes.

50:29 Adam Yeah, she's still here.

50:30 Caller Hello.

50:31 Adam What's up, baby doll?

50:32 Caller How are you guys?

50:33 Adam Doing good tonight.

50:34 Caller Hello.

50:35 Caller Hello.

50:37 Caller How are you going?

50:39 Drew See, you missed out on this.

50:40 Caller My question for Dr. Drew, I have been married for three years and I have a two year old son and ever since I have had him, after intercourse about 80% of the time, after my husband orgasms, after I stand up and am standing up for a while, I have a burning sensation and like I feel like, I guess I can say this on National Radio, but my vagina is like throbbing. Is that like normal?

51:07 Drew Throbbing vagina syndrome. No, that is not normal.

51:11 Adam How old is Brandon? How old are you?

51:13 Caller I'm 23. I just turned 23 actually last weekend.

51:17 Drew How long do you guys have sex before he is finished?

51:20 Caller Maybe he is an average guy like 10 to 15 minutes. Is that average?

51:26 Adam A little long. I mean short. Yeah.

51:29 Drew Like 10 minutes is the average, but what, and do you have an irritation during the act?

51:37 Caller No, just like when he orgasms. It's like a burning sensation and it's like when I go pee afterwards, it like burns. I've talked to my gynecologist about it and she's like, oh, that's just you letting down after an orgasm when you guys are having sex.

51:52 Drew Do you have orgasms?

51:53 Caller I do. I am one of those women who have the wet orgasms.

51:58 Adam Nice.

51:59 Caller Yeah.

52:00 Adam Yeah.

52:01 Caller I've heard Dr. Drew talk about how that's not common and I'm one of those uncommon women, I guess you would say, you in the cash.

52:10 Adam A lot of fluid coming out of you?

52:13 Caller It doesn't like to spray out or anything, but it gets everywhere kind of thing.

52:17 Adam It really does, huh?

52:20 Caller It's a wet mess.

52:22 Adam It's like taking a leak into a fan.

52:24 Caller Kind of sometimes.

52:26 Adam It's everywhere.

52:27 Caller I mean, it's only if you're doing it the right way.

52:30 Adam You know when you're topping off your radiator and your car's running and some of the overflow goes down into the fan, the engine fan, it's kind of, I would imagine it's kind of like that with Brianna. Okay. Does it have that coolant smell, that radiator fluid smell?

52:47 Caller No.

52:51 Adam Oh, really? Right. If somebody crapped on them.

52:54 Jet Of course. I've been with so many girls who taste that way.

52:59 Drew So in the kind of colleges, did they do any kind of testing or anything when she did her last exam?

53:04 Caller See, I've had my yearly and I'm really good about having my yearly and she blew it off. She wouldn't like do any tests.

53:09 Drew I would go back. I would go back. All I get from what you're describing is just irritation of the vagina and sometimes that can be caused by infections and you know, you're getting urinary symptoms too. It's something worth checking out and if you're planning on having more kids, it actually is an important thing because vaginitis can, believe it or not, affect pregnancy.

53:27 Adam Let me ask you this. If you're your innards are getting rubbed a little bit raw and then a guy drops a big salty load in there, that'll hurt, that's gonna sting, right? I mean, is it salty? God knows it stings the eye. God knows.

53:45 Drew Yeah. Adam, how do you know how it tastes?

53:48 Jet I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. It tastes like snot. That wasn't a sound effect. That was the real deal.

54:01 Adam Yeah. That's Chris's selling point. It tastes like snot.

54:03 Jet Real deal or?

54:04 Adam And snot tastes like chicken. That's how it's scrapped.

54:07 Jet And chicken tastes like Hershey's.

54:08 Adam That's right. True. Is it salty? Is there salt in there?

54:14 Drew Yeah, it's saline.

54:16 Adam Is everything comes out of you a little bit salty? Most stuff stings a little bit if it comes out of you, right?

54:21 Drew Some of that's the pH.

54:22 Jet It should be on the pineapple juice, I think. Yeah.

54:26 Adam What about it?

54:26 Caller No, no, no.

54:28 Adam I want to see if I want to see if Lewis is still awake, Lewis.

54:34 Yeah.

54:38 Caller Oh, good morning.

54:40 Adam He's like, whoa.

54:45 Jet He didn't even know he was asleep.

54:47 Adam Now, he was he was Lewis, we tried to talk to you 25 minutes ago, 25 times, 25 times. And he did provide a lot of entertainment for us because you do snore. And let me say this to hold on a second, Lewis, I get mad when people do this. Like, you know, when you you sleep in the same room with someone and you wake the next morning, you go, hey, man, you snore and they go, no, I don't. And what do you think I do? I just tell people they snore like am I that cruel and a hole that I just tell people they snore and they go, hey, man, and they get indignant. I don't snore. And you go, I was listening to your ass snore for about four hours last night. They go, screw you, man. I don't snore. I like that. I just like I like the argument. But no one.

55:30 Caller Yeah, no, because no one wants to admit that they snore.

55:32 Adam I know. But if you really just break it down, how's it work? You sleep like like a log. I never hear a peep out of you. Not even I didn't hear the sound of your eyelids opening and closing. And I just wake up and go, hey, man, quit snoring. I'm that big of a maniacal a-hole that I want to do that?

55:49 Drew And by the way, you in a state of unconsciousness have total control over what you do? No, you snore, you don't.

55:54 Adam Yeah, you snore. Yeah, what do you think I do? Like dump some warm water on the bed. Hey, man, you took a leak in the bed. And you snore. And I took a crap on it. But that's your crap. That's your crap. I rolled in it, but it's yours. Yeah, that's my plan. Let's talk to Lewis. Lewis, you snore, you sound like a 700 pound blues singer.

56:19 Caller Did you know you're a slate man or you had the phone or whatever on the appellate or whatever?

56:24 Adam I dozed off for a minute. How tall are you, Lewis?

56:27 Drew How much do you weigh?

56:34 Adam 511, 220. 511, 220.

56:46 Drew We'll see what you want. That extra 10 pounds means a lot.

56:50 Adam All right, you got to lose a couple pounds, Lewis. Drew can hear it in your snoring. All right, so what's up?

56:57 Yeah, I was trying to figure out more about like dental dam and like where I can get it from.

57:03 Adam What do you want it for?

57:05 Caller What is it?

57:06 Adam Dental dam.

57:07 Caller What is that?

57:07 Adam The world's worst invention is-

57:09 Caller Is it like a basic cling film you put over your girlfriend?

57:13 Adam Yeah.

57:13 Caller Why would you want to do that?

57:15 Adam It keeps the vagina fresh.

57:17 Drew Oh my God.

57:17 Jet You want to air that out, man. You don't want to tie it up. You know, that's like, take it from, I don't know.

57:26 Adam He doesn't want to get a sexually transmitted disease.

57:29 Drew So you can just use a regular old condom, just get your-

57:32 Adam No, I know. But who wants to? Who is this you're going down on? My girl. Your girl? Your girlfriend? Does she have any-

57:42 Jet She's not a salad, man, you can't like just wrap it up and keep it fresh for the next day, you know?

57:47 Adam What I like to do is I like to snap a lid on the vagina when I'm done and then burp it before I use it again.

57:53 Jet Have you heard of those new cling wrap bags? Yeah. Yeah, good.

57:56 Caller Well, they need a seal.

57:58 Adam Yeah, it turns blue when it's sealed. Hey, Louis?

58:01 Yeah.

58:02 Adam Does she have herpes or warts?

58:05 No.

58:06 Drew Do you have something on your mouth? Here's what you can do. You can just grab a condom. Cut the tip, just play an old Trojan or anything and cut the tip off. And then take and then cut along the long axis. You know, it's a tube and you cut along it so you can make a sheet out of it. And then you can put that down on top.

58:27 Adam Oh, it's a disaster. Why don't you just tell her to just keep her pants on? It's the same thing. You can lick a little denim. It's no big deal. Look, Louis, how long have you two been going out?

58:42 Caller Maybe about eight months.

58:44 Adam Eight months. And are you having sex?

58:48 Jet Is she having sex with just you?

58:51 Drew Are you wearing a condom when you have sex?

58:53 Caller Yes.

58:55 Jet So what are you worried about then?

58:58 Drew He wants to do the complete protection.

59:00 Adam Oh, listen, that's that's retarded. I mean, look, we admire your sort of your diligence and your attitude.

59:06 Drew That's cool.

59:07 Jet You need his condom.

59:08 Adam It's not practical. It just isn't. What's up, Louis? You guys are in love.

59:12 Drew Why don't you get everybody tested? Yeah, both of you get tested and go on about your business.

59:16 Jet You go crazy.

59:16 Adam After that, you guys in love? Yeah. OK, then you just go down on her without the thing.

59:24 Jet Does she like you? I mean, like, because you're like, oh, get get get this on your vagina or whatever. It's like, does she does she still think you I mean, you know, I'd be disappointed if a girl I was sleeping with a girl and she was like, hey, put this on, wrap yourself in foil, wrap yourself in this and that. I'd be like, what's wrong, man?

59:41 Drew That's considered etiquette in this country.

59:43 Adam Here's, you know, here's, you know, here's my big concern. Lewis gets down there. He uses the dental dam. He falls asleep, starts snoring and inhales it and chokes.

59:54 Drew Yeah, sure.

59:55 Caller Anyway, that snoring.

59:57 Adam Right.

59:58 Drew With that, he'll sound like a kazoo then.

59:59 Jet Here's my concern. Maybe Lewis is still asleep and he's just talking to us in his sleep.

1:00:05 Adam That's quite possible. All right, we got a question for Jet, by the way. We have to hear a song from Jet as well. Yeah, let's do that next. All right, Matt.

1:00:13 Caller Hey, how are you guys doing? Good. I'm doing pretty good. I just got a question for Jet.

1:00:20 Jet Go crazy, man.

1:00:21 Caller Go crazy.

1:00:22 Caller Um, yeah, how does it feel like suddenly, because I didn't hear you guys at all until like three or four weeks ago on the radio, how does it feel to just like suddenly become so popular?

1:00:32 Jet But it wasn't that way for us at all.

1:00:34 Caller It doesn't feel like that for us because we've been in this band for seven years. So, I mean, it's only like that. I mean, just because we've been doing it for so long.

1:00:41 Jet But yeah, you just heard of us. We've been hearing about us for a long, long time. And we only just sort of got out, especially in America, only just sort of like got on the on the radio in America, like really recently as of this year. But we've been playing in the same band for at least six years.

1:00:57 Adam So and you've known about you since before the band. I'm going to break it down that way.

1:01:03 Jet Yeah.

1:01:05 Drew Did I follow?

1:01:06 Caller Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like it's a bit of a freak out when you get asked to do things like Saturday Night Live and stuff like that and big shows, you know.

1:01:14 Adam But and Saturday Night Live, by the way, you guys, I mean, they have a lot of great bands over the years on on that show. But you guys, some bands don't get asked for a few years into their career. I mean, you guys got asked fairly early, which is kind of nice. And this show, too, that we won't just have anybody we got.

1:01:35 Jet You won't have just any old pop star.

1:01:37 Adam No, no, we got a Hoover, Stank and Michelle Branch coming up here. Hey, hey, Matt. Yeah, they're used to it, but they're happy.

1:01:46 Caller Yeah. Well, I got I got another thing to solve the stupid people having children problem.

1:01:53 Jet All right.

1:01:54 Caller I'm hold on.

1:01:55 Adam I'm now prepared.

1:01:56 Jet You're a child, right? These are your parents' history.

1:01:58 Caller Hold on.

1:01:59 Drew Prepare to be disappointed.

1:02:00 Adam Go ahead.

1:02:00 Caller Go ahead. I've actually discussed this with one of my friends who's actually graduated from college, which is amazing because I'm so young and everything. People should not have children until OK. First off, they have to be married. Second off, they have to go through at least at least a year of counseling. And they have to take a maturity test and an IQ test.

1:02:27 Drew And we're going to have our friends about actualize this. And of course, there are things that we could think of that could be done that are completely impractical and will practically will never happen in a billion years. Yeah, of course.

1:02:40 Adam Yeah. That's why I'm never. Let me tell you something. I've been doing the show for eight or nine years. I've heard the Adam. I got the answer. This is going to solve the problem of fill in the blank. And I'm always just I stop listening because it's never have yet. I think maybe once or twice we've actually been impressed by something someone has said on the show other than us. Yes. No, no. We just keep hoping. All right. I do remember once or twice saying was a good idea. Probably something I said in the person said back to me. Yeah. Jet is in studio tonight. We're going to hear something off the end. New CD Get Born. Chris, you got that cute up there, buddy boy. This one is called Cold Hard Bitch.

1:05:19 She's my latest...

1:07:31 Adam I'm going to try smoking these smoked almonds. They're that good. I could see myself like getting into this. This could be my crack. Smoking and mainlining and doing anally, smoked almond.

1:07:44 Drew That was the almond paste enema you talked of earlier.

1:07:47 Adam I got a new application. I dilate my rectum and I have a native with a blow gun. Blow!

1:07:56 Drew How do you dilate your rectum? Just with sheer willpower?

1:08:02 Adam What a nice fart go there. That's just what you call good time. Jet, since dude and I will take a quick break, we'll be right back.

1:08:08 Loveline. Loveline is brought to you by Trojan, America's most trusted condom for real.

1:08:19 Caller For over 80 years.

1:08:28 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Chris and Mark are here tonight from Jet.

1:08:34 Caller Hello.

1:08:34 Adam Get Born, name of the CD, Huba Stankin here tomorrow night, and Michelle Branch, the guy's got some In-N-Out Burger, which always a lot of argument going on regionally. You know, White Castle, In-N-Out, who's got the best burger?

1:08:50 Jet I'll tell you, I've been everywhere.

1:08:51 Caller In-N-Out.

1:08:51 Adam In-N-Out, you guys have traveled the world.

1:08:54 Caller Fish and Chip Shop, no, there's a Fish and Chip Shop in Geelong, my hometown in Australia.

1:08:58 Adam Yeah.

1:08:59 Caller On Breakwater Road, you should go down there.

1:09:01 Adam Been there.

1:09:01 Caller Been there?

1:09:02 Adam Do they have?

1:09:02 Caller There's got like an old, you know, it's got like an old man who makes the burgers there and like, They have good burgers in Australia? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this old man makes it like, not like a 16 year old kid, it's an old man and he's like studied, he's well versed in the art form of building a hamburger.

1:09:19 Drew Sounds like a Spongebob routine.

1:09:23 Adam Listen, a retard can make a good burger, you just start with a good meat and fry it up right. But that In-N-Out is great. I ate it last night. I'll tell you something, Drew and I were talking, we were at the Acoustic Christmas last night, where Jet played out here in the Universal Amphitheater. I had a long line at the bar backstage, so I ordered a double, you know, because I always do get back in that line. Yeah, I like to order doubles myself. Here's the thing about the double, that's a rip off. Double the price. Like you go like, yeah, I was getting a cranberry and vodka, and I go, yeah, make it a double. Well, the regular one's five bucks and it doubles 10 bucks. Same cup, same ice, same cranberry, just an extra little shot of vodka in there, and now it's double. Now, that's one of those things, by the way, when you're an alcoholic, they know they got you. You know what I mean? Because if you're non-alcoholic, you start arguing. But alcoholics, they got them over a barrel. But I started thinking, really, like when you go to the movie theater, they always say it's the cup that costs the money, and it's always this, and it's everything else, and it's not that. Why should it be double the price?

1:10:24 Drew It's all BS anyway. It's all pricing is very, very bad.

1:10:28 Caller The other thing is, in America, they don't have a standardized, like, pouring system.

1:10:33 Jet That's why I love your country, America.

1:10:35 Drew It's in ounces.

1:10:36 Jet You know what? When you go, when you come to, you go from London, and you go, give me a gin and tonic, and they get out their, like, little measuring device, and they give you exactly a gin and tonic, exactly. You get to America, you're like, gin and tonic. They're like, yeah, whatever, man. They're like, I understand.

1:10:49 I'm glad, glad, glad, glad, glad.

1:10:51 Caller I think, like, a standard, like, shot is one ounce in Australia.

1:10:55 Drew Here's the deal. That's all sleight of hand. They're measuring. They know exactly what they're doing.

1:11:00 Caller That's rubbish.

1:11:01 Jet I'm telling you, man, I'll put it in my mouth.

1:11:03 Drew You take it.

1:11:04 Jet And I'm like, whoa.

1:11:05 Adam Oh, they're a little heavy handed. True, I've been over served at times. Not proud to admit it, but I have. I just don't think a double should be double.

1:11:13 Drew You said it back.

1:11:13 Jet Doctor, I don't think you've been chipping right, man.

1:11:15 Adam I think it should be seven fifty if it's five bucks. You know what I mean? All right, let's start. Is it double in Australia? Is it double double?

1:11:23 Caller Yeah, it's pretty much standard. Well, what I've noticed, because I get doubled. I'm a double man. Yeah, double tall glass.

1:11:28 Adam Yeah, I like to double myself.

1:11:30 Caller Let's just to the bar drunk.

1:11:31 Adam You know, here's what I like to say. Here's what I want to do. And we should all do this. We should all do. Next time we go to the bar. Next time we go to the bar. Here's what we do. We go, look, I want a gin and tonic and I want to double. But here's the deal. I don't want to pay. I'll pay seven fifty, not ten bucks. Now, if you're going to charge me double, then pour me two. Pour me two right now. If you don't want to go through that hassle, then just charge me another two fifty for the extra ounce of vodka or gin and we'll move ahead. That's what I'd like to do. I'd like everyone to start ordering two drinks and effing everyone up until they finally lower their double prices. Yes, sir.

1:12:05 Drew Oh, as always.

1:12:06 Adam When I'm in charge.

1:12:08 Drew The world would be a better place.

1:12:09 Adam That's right. Libby? You're twenty-two? What's up?

1:12:16 Well, I'm sure you guys have heard this like a million times. I'm twenty-two. My boyfriend's twenty-seven. And he has just a big problem having sex at all.

1:12:29 Drew What's the problem?

1:12:30 The problem is, is that apparently I guess I was like bothering him too much or something. I don't really.

1:12:39 Drew We actually don't hear this one a million times. What? We rarely hear this one.

1:12:43 Adam Let me say this, double hamburger, not double the price of just a single hamburger. No, a single's like a buck twenty-nine, a double's like a buck seventy-nine.

1:12:50 Drew But all rules that apply to alcohol are unique to alcohol.

1:12:55 Adam They know you got a problem. So they take advantage of you because you have a disease. It's a disease. It's like beating a lame retarded person with a cane. It's no different. I was raped. It's rape. Libby?

1:13:10 Caller All right.

1:13:12 Drew Tell us about this.

1:13:13 Adam Hold on a second. Mark just, he puts the ketchup on top of the hamburger.

1:13:20 Drew On top of the bun.

1:13:21 Adam Inside of the bun.

1:13:22 Drew That is weird. That's unacceptable.

1:13:24 Adam What is that? You don't always do that, do you?

1:13:27 Caller No, I don't.

1:13:28 Jet Let's call some Ray Todd at In-N-Out.

1:13:31 Caller The hamburger is so stuck together with the cheese, I couldn't pull it apart.

1:13:36 Adam The cheese has acted as like a weld to weld the buns to the meat.

1:13:40 Caller I tried to prise it apart, but I couldn't. But I want to catch one because there's none on it. So I put it on top.

1:13:46 Adam You put it on the surface. You dip it like you do the fries.

1:13:50 Caller But it all gets mixed up in the end, doesn't it?

1:13:52 Adam Why don't you have Drew chew it up and spit it in your mouth? Using that logic. Just dip it.

1:13:59 Caller It's already on the top now.

1:14:01 Adam I'll tell you what then. I'll tell you what would be really slick. If you dip the fry, bit the fry, then bit the thing, and used it is sort of...

1:14:09 Caller As an implement, eat with it.

1:14:11 Jet I'll tell you what would be really slick. If you're in an out burger, remember to put ketchup inside your burger.

1:14:17 Adam Now, you gotta ask for that. We're pure.

1:14:20 Caller I didn't think it was a big deal, but now you mention it. It does kind of look kind of stupid.

1:14:23 Adam But you could save yourself by dragging the fry on top of it. Then it would look really cool.

1:14:28 Caller But the problem is I would do that just to save face, but I've eaten all the fries now.

1:14:33 Drew You actually called them fries, not chips.

1:14:34 Caller We call them chips, but you know, I'm getting...

1:14:37 Adam Libby? He's getting Americanized. Libby?

1:14:40 Drew Alright, so your boyfriend doesn't want to have sex and you do?

1:14:43 Yep.

1:14:44 Drew Is he on medication?

1:14:46 Pardon?

1:14:46 Drew Is he on any medication?

1:14:48 Does he?

1:14:49 Drew Does he take medication, yes?

1:14:51 No.

1:14:52 Drew No medicine? Does he have any medical problems?

1:14:55 No. The only thing I know is that he has a four-year-old child, and that's what he's blamed it all on.

1:15:02 Jet Can I tell you something? This is really important to me. Libby? Is it Libby? When I met my girlfriend, I didn't want to have sex with her for two weeks because I thought it was so awesome that I thought if I put a foot wrong and did something weird, that it would just ruin everything. So you think he might be freaking out?

1:15:21 Drew How long have you been dating him?

1:15:23 Um, seven months. Not that long.

1:15:27 Drew Seven months.

1:15:28 Adam Libby sounds a little angry.

1:15:30 Drew Well, wait a minute. Anxious.

1:15:31 Adam Not angry. I'm getting a little angry.

1:15:33 Drew How often do you want to have sex?

1:15:37 Well, I just think that I've never had to have this conversation before.

1:15:41 Drew I understand. Other guys want to have sex with you. She's angry with this guy. She's not on to him.

1:15:45 Yeah, everyone else I've ever been with has wanted to have sex and I've been like, okay, you know. Like he was five years older than I was.

1:15:56 Adam All right, hold on. Let's do a Loveline reenactment there. Drew, you ask your question.

1:16:01 Drew I'll try to remember what the question was. So how often do you want to have sex?

1:16:04 Adam Every other guy I've been with has wanted to have sex.

1:16:07 Drew Yeah, but how often do you want to have it?

1:16:09 Adam Because I've been with a lot of guys and they all want to have sex. Because I'm hot.

1:16:15 Drew That's the subtext.

1:16:16 Adam Did you have a question? Yeah, I know. That's not the goddamn question.

1:16:22 Drew The subtext is I'm hot, yes.

1:16:25 Adam Well, it's more that I have a vagina is I think more of the subtext.

1:16:28 It's just that I don't, I guess I just don't understand because I've never had this happen to me before. I want to have sex a lot and I feel like he thought it was a problem.

1:16:39 Drew Are you from Michigan or something? Yes, exactly. What are you doing in Burbank?

1:16:42 I moved out here to live with my aunt and uncle.

1:16:46 Drew Did you get that Michigan accent? You didn't hear that?

1:16:48 Adam I heard non-Burbankian.

1:16:50 Drew Yeah, definitely not Burbank.

1:16:51 Adam I thought she was from a scheme.

1:16:53 Jet She's not from Burbank, she must be from Michigan.

1:16:55 Drew No, I heard the Michigan accent.

1:16:56 Adam Where's the Tain area, the scheme, the enique?

1:16:58 Caller The scheef. You wrote the scheef, didn't you?

1:16:59 Adam The scheef. I only wrote the first.

1:17:01 Caller You can design, you can scheef. Figure out how it's spelled.

1:17:06 Adam Libby? Why did you move out of Michigan to live with your aunt and uncle?

1:17:14 I guess it's a long story. Just because I really wasn't doing that much at home, and my uncle owns a company out here, so I came to work for him for a little while.

1:17:24 Drew What kind of work?

1:17:26 He owns a computer company.

1:17:28 Adam How do you do it? Do you get along with your dad?

1:17:30 Yeah.

1:17:31 Adam All right.

1:17:31 My dad.

1:17:31 Adam Everything's cool?

1:17:32 Yeah. Oh, yeah, my dad.

1:17:34 Drew Are you from the UP?

1:17:35 No. I'm like 25 minutes outside Detroit.

1:17:40 Adam Oh, that's closer to the I crap.

1:17:44 Drew The piece of crap.

1:17:46 Adam Hey, Libby.

1:17:48 Drew Here.

1:17:48 Adam So here's the thing. I don't know what this guy's problem is. 27 may seem old to you. It doesn't. Distant memory.

1:17:58 Drew 27 year old guys should be good to go.

1:18:00 Caller Yeah.

1:18:00 Drew Every day. Yeah.

1:18:02 Caller Right.

1:18:02 Adam And now, now here's the thing. He may be depressed.

1:18:05 Drew Maybe on medicine.

1:18:07 Adam I mean, he may have issues. He may be doing drugs. Who the hell knows? I think you need to have a talk with him. But not, not, not one where you corner him and start accusing him and pointing your finger. Just one where you have an honest discussion.

1:18:19 Drew Some guys do get a little freaked out when the heat is on from the woman. Turns them back a little further.

1:18:24 Adam Right.

1:18:24 Drew Doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about it with him or that he shouldn't be good to go nonetheless.

1:18:29 Adam Yeah.

1:18:30 Drew It's just some guys just become like a turtle.

1:18:33 Adam What's this guy do? What's he do for a living?

1:18:37 Drew All right. Why are you with the guy?

1:18:39 Adam Yeah. Pardon?

1:18:40 Drew Why are you with him?

1:18:42 Jet Why? Because he doesn't have a job?

1:18:44 Adam Yeah. He doesn't have a job. He's got a kid. He doesn't want to have sex. What's in it for you?

1:18:49 Caller Not a whole lot.

1:18:52 We just had a good time together, I guess.

1:18:55 Drew Are you just not meeting people out here?

1:18:58 No, I'm not. But this is... I mean, he's at home. He's in Michigan. I'm out here right now. Oh, wow. No, really? Well, this whole problem was before I moved out here, so...

1:19:09 Drew I'll meet some guys out here.

1:19:10 Adam You'll find a nice guy.

1:19:12 Caller Well...

1:19:12 Adam Yeah, you'll find a nice Burbank guy.

1:19:16 Caller Thanks.

1:19:16 Adam Good times, yeah. Don't try to keep that long-distance crap going. It's never going to work.

1:19:21 Drew That Michigan accent doesn't strike your ear. It just rings out to me.

1:19:25 Adam It struck me as the middle of the country somewhere, but I didn't necessarily get... Yeah, it's very unattractive.

1:19:31 Caller I couldn't tell the difference.

1:19:32 Adam You couldn't tell?

1:19:33 Caller I can tell some of them and pick where they're from, but...

1:19:36 Jet I can tell New York from LA everything in between.

1:19:39 Caller But if you go down south, you know that. That's easy.

1:19:43 Adam Now, you guys don't seem to have a strong Australian accent.

1:19:46 Jet Let me tell you something. We've been living in your country for about a year. That's why.

1:19:50 Caller We've been away from Australia for a year.

1:19:52 Adam It's going away.

1:19:53 Jet Let me tell you a story about that. It's not only just because we've been living here for a year, but it's also like when you come here, in a sec, I'm going to give you a prime example of a real Australian accent. But for now, I'm going to give you this one. And it's like when you ring up the Thai food place and you're like, you know, you give them your order. You're like, yes, sweet. And they're like, so what's your number? And you're like, okay. My number is 323 2875. And they're like, okay, that 262595251 and it's like, it's impossible to get along unless you put on a slightly American accent like this guy. His name is not Mark. It's Mark.

1:20:34 Drew Okay.

1:20:34 Caller You say my name is Mark. The people they go like, like Robin Williams in, in that, in that show, Mark. And I'm like, no, Mark.

1:20:43 Drew I didn't know you were natural. You just naturally believe, didn't know you guys could say Mark.

1:20:49 Caller Mark, Mark. May we, we, we think American culture when they Mark.

1:20:57 Jet Mark, you know what?

1:20:58 Caller Give him a mocking. We say Mark.

1:20:59 Jet Now this is our mock Australian accent. Give him hardcore Australia.

1:21:03 Caller Yeah.

1:21:03 Jet Good day, mate.

1:21:04 Drew How you going?

1:21:05 Caller That's just, that's classic.

1:21:06 Jet That's what we sounded like before we moved to LA.

1:21:08 Drew I like the idea. The reason they have to take on a harsher accent is that too many languages are spoken in this part of the country and no one can be communicated with.

1:21:15 Adam But stupid is sort of the, the universal language. Yes, you speak slowly and in a monotone voice, you probably get your order right.

1:21:25 Jet Hey, I'm with you. I just didn't want to say that on American radio. You know, I didn't want to get beaten up on my next show.

1:21:30 Adam Now a lot of stupid people out here and then you have a lot of immigrants out here who haven't quite mastered the language and you have to, and here's the other part too. You never.

1:21:40 Jet That's cool. You just don't expect it when you're in the police department.

1:21:44 Adam You never feel like they got your order when you call the Thai place. Here you go. I'll have the Szechuan beef, but but but not too spicy. It not too spicy. Not too spicy. It's like, let me say the word spicy. So I've got the Szechuan beef, but not too spicy.

1:22:04 Drew And you're going to read about you. Okay. Spicy beef.

1:22:06 Adam Spicy, spicy Szechuan. No, but not too, but not too spicy. Right. You get the feeling like you're just going to get whatever they got. And if you don't like it. My greatest one is that I ordered Thai food, went down to the place. They handed me the basket, had me a big bag of stuff. I went back up the hill, opened it all up. Nothing worse than getting someone else's order, by the way, because it's never as good as what yours was. This a-hole ordered the beef salad. It's like cold beef with lettuce that's wilted. You get mad at the person. What kind of maniac orders beef salad? Like if you'd ordered something decent, I'd just go ahead and eat it. So then I look at the bag and the bag says Mark on it. So I call the place up and I'm like, listen, this is Adam. I ordered some Thai food from you guys. I went in there. They handed me the wrong bag and it says Mark on it. He said his name was Mark. I came in and said, hi, I'm Mark. Give me Mark's order. And then I drove back up the goddamn hill and now I'm calling you. You say your name was Mark?

1:23:10 Caller Yeah, that's my thing.

1:23:11 Adam I order Thai food. Use a different name. Then I come in, use a third name and then go back up the hill and complain. This is what I do. This is what I do with my evenings. I like eating cold food that I didn't really pay for. He said his name was Mark. Yeah. That's me. I like when people do that. Yeah, I made up a name. That's me. So I go by Mark, I go by Chuck, I go by Frank.

1:23:35 Drew Well, you go from Thai place to Thai place looking for that name with prepared food.

1:23:41 Caller So you just go order from Mark.

1:23:43 Adam But here's the twist. I don't eat Mark's food. I call the guy and then drive back down the hill and return Mark's food and get my original order. That's the twist. That's what makes it so diabolical. They can't trace it. There's no motive. It takes an extra hour, costs an extra 20 bucks.

1:24:02 Jet You should be writing novels, not working on radio.

1:24:04 Adam You're right. You're right. First one called, you say his name was Mark. Jet's here. Jet, you guys, by the way, you're just drinking vodka, smoking cigarettes, eating in and out. I give the band a month and they kill over.

1:24:19 Jet You know what? They said that. They said that.

1:24:21 Adam Keith Richards. They said that about Keith Richards 40 years ago.

1:24:24 Drew I heard Chris's right coronary snapshot during the last break.

1:24:28 Adam You bring them. You got the paddles here. You can bring them back.

1:24:30 Drew I need to do an angioplasty on them.

1:24:32 Adam You can do one.

1:24:33 Drew I need the wire up there. All right.

1:24:34 Adam I'll watch. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Loveline.

1:24:41 Caller Wait. My hair. My hair.

1:24:58 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. That's Dr. Drew. Forget about that phone number. Chris and Mark here tonight from Jet. Who was stank in here tomorrow night? And then Michelle Branch. All right. Let's get back to the phones and speak to Courtney, whose friend died of a cocaine overdose, I guess. Courtney? You're 16? So what happened to your friend?

1:25:27 Caller Well, he did some coke and he had a heart problem and he did know about it, but I don't think he really thought about it. You know, I don't know. He's confusing. And so he had 12 heart attacks and he died from it. Well, he was in a coma actually for like a month.

1:25:44 Adam And then he's doing that from doing the coke because he had a preexisting heart condition.

1:25:48 Caller Yes.

1:25:49 Adam What do you think that was, Drew?

1:25:51 Drew Cocaine causes heart attacks. It does? Yeah, it's a common thing. When they have them, young people have them, they're huge.

1:25:58 Adam Oh, really?

1:25:59 Drew Because there's no collateral blood supply. As you slowly get older and your heart arteries narrow and harden, your body compensates by forming ancillary or supplemental blood supply. And then you get a clot in one, there's still some ancillary supply. But when you have a big bore vessel that's a larger...

1:26:15 Adam Wait a minute, how does this work? I don't understand this.

1:26:17 Drew Let me just draw the picture.

1:26:18 Adam All right, you got the heart and the heart has the blood going to it and the blood going away from it.

1:26:24 Drew But the muscle, the muscle is supplied by arteries that come off, go along like that.

1:26:29 Adam So when you're young...

1:26:30 Drew These are big and open, right? They're wide open vessels. There's three main vessels.

1:26:34 Adam Yeah.

1:26:35 Drew And as they narrow, you get hardening and cholesterol all the way down. The body forms some ancillary supply to keep... Because it says, you know, I need blood.

1:26:43 Adam So better to have a heart attack at 65 than at 25.

1:26:49 Caller Oh, yeah. What's a 16 year old person doing coke anyway?

1:26:53 Adam Yeah, he's a little old. I agree.

1:26:55 Jet Yeah, I know, man. Like, it just gives him so long. How unhip.

1:26:59 Adam Yeah. Hey, Courtney. All right. So was this a good friend of yours?

1:27:04 Caller Yeah, he was actually an ex-boyfriend of mine. But I don't do drugs personally myself at all. But I do have some friends that do it.

1:27:14 Drew And some family members that do it, too.

1:27:16 Caller Well, I think actually recently, like maybe a couple of years ago, I found some. It might have been coke. I'm not sure because, you know, I don't really know drugs that well. But I found it in my mom's tape deck. So I don't know.

1:27:27 Drew Magically, magically, you have addiction.

1:27:29 Adam What do you mean you found in your mom's tape deck?

1:27:31 Caller Well, me and my sister were in the car along with my friend that wants to do meth right now. And I was sitting there. I was going to put in a tape and I pull out this thing because it wasn't working. And I was like, what's going on? You know, so I pull it out and I look at it and I couldn't figure it out. So my friend told me, oh, yeah, that's coke.

1:27:47 Adam And was it bad? What?

1:27:48 Jet What? What state are you from?

1:27:50 Caller What state am I from?

1:27:51 Jet Yeah.

1:27:52 Caller California.

1:27:54 Adam It was a it was a it was a baggie of white powder baggie.

1:27:58 Caller Yeah. With white powder.

1:27:59 Drew Yeah.

1:28:00 Adam In the cassette deck.

1:28:02 Jet That's maybe she has really bad dandruff. Do you ever think about that?

1:28:05 Drew Well, but magic, Courtney, you're attracted to people that are drug addicts. And I would suspect that means you have addiction in your parents. And that's how that works.

1:28:12 Adam All right. So here's the thing. You're not going to do drugs. Great. Don't do them.

1:28:17 Caller Yeah.

1:28:18 Adam And if your friends want to do drugs, you can tell them how you feel about it and try to get them not to do it. But if they're hell bent on doing it, they're going to do it and you have to get away from them.

1:28:27 Caller That's why I know I can't stop her from doing it. But I just kind of wanted to know what method does do to you. Just like. I can expect like what you would be going through.

1:28:37 Drew Eventually get paranoid. That's the main thing.

1:28:38 Adam Grind your teeth, start picking at yourself, smoking, the big thing.

1:28:43 Caller Techno music.

1:28:43 Jet You want to dance all of a sudden. You think you're really hot when you're.

1:28:48 Caller I think it depends on who you are as well.

1:28:50 Drew Well, here's what doesn't depend on who you are is that the speed you do enough of it, it damages the brain. Exact same distribution as ecstasy. It kills the limbic system in the brain. So people that do enough speed get chronic depressions, chronic panic and anxiety and severe memory disturbances.

1:29:05 Adam But good times, you know. Jacqueline?

1:29:09 Yeah.

1:29:10 Adam You're 19?

1:29:11 Caller Yes, I am.

1:29:12 Adam You've been on hold for 95 minutes.

1:29:15 Caller I've been on hold for so long, I'm surprised I didn't fall asleep, but I stayed awake.

1:29:20 Adam Thank you. And you were raped by your boyfriend a year ago.

1:29:24 Caller Yeah, well ex-boyfriend obviously, but yeah.

1:29:28 Adam What happened? Had you been having sex with him before he raped you?

1:29:32 Caller Well, we were together for a year and a half, and he never like physically abused me or whatever, but on New Year's Eve, he found this letter that I had written to another guy like a month before, but I wasn't with him at the time, and like he found it and freaked out. And then that's when the incident happened.

1:29:57 Adam Had you been having sex with him before this?

1:29:59 Caller Yeah.

1:30:01 Adam And he wrote like a sexy letter to a guy like you guys had broken up.

1:30:05 Caller Well, it wasn't a sexy letter, but there were little bits and pieces in it that kind of led to him thinking that, but I never had sex with the other guy.

1:30:14 Drew Right. But it was during a period when you were broke. The chaos already is over.

1:30:20 Adam So you feel like you're raped. Did you call the cops?

1:30:23 Caller Yeah. Yeah, I did. Well, what happened was he found this letter and he freaked out, and he took my keys in my wallet and he kidnapped me for three days in like two different hotel rooms. Wow. Horrible. And then what happened was after that, the guy that I wrote the letter to, he worked with me. So him and a bunch of his friends followed me to my work and like told me to lure him out so that they could beat him up. Yeah. What?

1:30:53 Jet You didn't call the police, did you?

1:30:54 Caller No, I couldn't because he threatened my life. He had kidnapped me for two days and raped me.

1:31:00 Drew But you could go to work?

1:31:01 Adam Well, she had to go to work. Yeah.

1:31:02 Caller Well, yeah, I had to go to work the next day, but he told me that if I warned anyone.

1:31:07 Drew That is a trauma.

1:31:08 Adam Drew, Drew, hold on a second. First off, this is how kidnapping work, when they got the Lindbergh baby many years ago.

1:31:14 Drew They sent the baby home for feedings?

1:31:16 Adam Well, they went to preschool.

1:31:16 Drew Free preschool.

1:31:17 Adam It was going to kindergarten, I think, a preschool. And then it would come back.

1:31:20 Drew Yes, of course. That's how kidnapping works.

1:31:22 Adam Oh, yeah. Patty Hearst. Remember when she was kidnapped by the SLA?

1:31:26 Drew Do you remember?

1:31:26 Adam She would go to work. She worked at a bank.

1:31:28 Drew She would have to remember. Was it in Iran? The hostage crisis? Yeah.

1:31:32 Adam Oh, those hostages. Oh, no, they all went to work.

1:31:33 Drew They flew home.

1:31:35 Adam Yeah.

1:31:36 Drew But then they were threatened and so they had to come home. Yeah. Back to Iran. Yeah.

1:31:39 Adam Yeah. Now you could put in a longer day if you got a note from your employer.

1:31:43 Drew Right.

1:31:43 Adam OK. Drew, it's like you're all confused about the kidnapping stuff. Good, Jacqueline. And by the way, this is a albino white trash maneuver here. So he kidnapped you. He's a horrible guy. But he was good enough to let you go to work. You don't want to get any hot water with the boss. All right. So you must come for you. Your dad must be a biker.

1:32:04 Drew You're from trauma, trauma, trauma. Jacqueline, what happened to you growing up?

1:32:09 Caller Oh, nothing happened when I grew up at all. My parents got divorced when I was 15, but no previous sexual abuse or anything.

1:32:18 Adam How about some physical abuse?

1:32:20 Caller No, none at all.

1:32:22 Drew No one ever hits you?

1:32:23 Caller One of my really good friends died when I was like 15, but no abuse at all.

1:32:29 Adam Really?

1:32:29 Drew Where did you learn to be so powerless?

1:32:33 Caller I don't know. Well, I was with him for a year and a half, and he mentally abused me.

1:32:38 Adam You can wear somebody down. Are you a big gal?

1:32:42 Caller Am I what?

1:32:42 Adam You're a big gal?

1:32:44 Caller No. No.

1:32:45 Adam All right. Hold on a second.

1:32:46 Drew You can get sort of a Stockholm syndrome.

1:32:48 Adam A guy can wear you down.

1:32:51 Drew It's true.

1:32:51 Adam Take a quick break. Friend died was on furlough from being kidnapped and got hit in a car accident. All right. We'll take a quick break. We don't want to make fun. We'll wrap up with Jacqueline after this. Almost out of show, but, uh, Jacqueline? Here's the deal. Where were you? Got raped by the old boyfriend.

1:33:49 Drew Kidnapped.

1:33:49 Adam Yeah, now you're a little freaked out. Good. I mean, I don't trust you being trusted, trusting a guy or being attracted to a guy.

1:33:58 Drew Well, we get low self-esteem, neglect growing up, that kind of powerlessness. And assuming that no one would come to your aid is sort of where you're at.

1:34:07 Adam How about a little therapy, baby doll?

1:34:10 Caller OK, well, that was my question. If I should if I should seek help.

1:34:13 Drew Yes, yes, definitely. Couldn't hurt.

1:34:15 Adam Couldn't hurt, as they say.

1:34:17 Caller All right.

1:34:17 Adam I want to thank Jet for coming in here. Get more name of the CD. You guys were delight. And who was thinking tomorrow night? And until next time, I'm Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:28 Jet Hey, Doc.

1:34:30 Adam Yeah.

1:34:31 Jet Do you find anything on dick popping in the book?

1:34:37 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, December 15, 2003